DAMIAN, JON DIDN’T BREAK HER 😭

Glacitor: Rewritten Series

read that whole series bro!

Summary: Let’s review shall we, Chat thinks Jon is Robin, Jon is sad cause he keeps having special moments with Chat but thinks that Chat doesn’t like him like that. Damian is starting to get pissed at Chat for doing nothing about his feelings and confronts him about it, and Marinette, she’s done with all of the boys’ bullshit.

.................................

A runaway bus took to the streets of Paris needing it’s heroes to stop it. Chat seemed distracted but that wasn’t unusual. They stopped the bus and Chat looked at Ladybug.

“Hey could we maybe meet up later, I have something that I need to talk to you about?” Chat asked Ladybug helping passengers off of the bus. 

“Sorry kitty, I have some plans tonight, maybe tomorrow,” Ladybug said patting Chat on the shoulder. To be honest, Chat was having an internal panic attack, in Jon was who Chat thought he was then something was going to be seriously wrong. Chat would have to be with someone who had a part of him that was grumpy and upset and... Ladybug was waving in his face.

“Chat, is it really serious cause we could meet up if something is really wrong,” Ladybug said and Chat sighed.

“It’s nothing that can’t wait until tomorrow,” Chat said smiling at her and it was true it could wait. 

.................................

Marinette walked to meet up with her friends to get ice cream. Jon was acting weird and said that he didn’t want to go. When they found Andre, Marinette wasn’t entirely comfortable with her ice cream mixture. It reminded her of Robin more than Damian which was upsetting for a number of reasons.

Marinette ended up leaving and looked at a roof where Chat was standing alone. She felt bad about ditching him but she was tired after dealing with Andre and it could wait another night.

.................................

Jon looked out over the city sighing. Ever since he was outed by Nadja, people made it a point to show that they accepted him in America so he wouldn’t feel like he had to stay there and hide from them. It was all nice but Jon wanted things to go back to the way that they were before all of the Paris drama, no Chat leading him on, no being outed, no akumas, he just wanted it to all stop for a second.

Jon heard something behind him but just stood still. 

“Mari, if you’re here to try and make me feel better, it’s not going to work,” Jon said wiping tears from his face.

“Why are you sad to begin with?” a different voice asked making Jon turn around. Chat was sitting on the roof and his eyes looked actually concerned. 

“Why wouldn’t I be, people want me to be happy but maybe I can’t be a ray of sunshine all the time, it gets tiring and I want a break... I want to go home but with everything that happened with Prime Queen, I’m just tired of it Chat, I’m tired of all of it,” Jon said as tears flowed down his cheeks. Chat looked over at Jon wanting to hug him but scared of what he would do.

“I know what you mean, I’m tired too, being a hero in this city is hard work but being outed is the worst. People thinking that you can’t be a hero because of who you like and what you may or may not think about someone with a certain gender is just unfair. I’m sorry that you’ve had to go through it alone,” Chat said and Jon ran up to him and hugged him tight.

Chat looked at Jon who’s head rested on his shoulder and his hands were in fists on Chat’s chest. Jon cried harder when Chat hugged him back and before either one could say anything, a giant wad of ice cream went flying at them. Chat opened his eyes and threw both of them to the ground just in time. 

Chat looked onto the street below and Robin and Ladybug were fighting a giant ice cream man. Wait Robin was there? How... Chat spun around and Jon was standing there with wide eyes looking at the frozen chair next to him.

“Thank God,” Chat said and Jon looked at him confused, “that you’re OK of course, let’s get you out of here.” Chat grabbed Jon and took him to the building that Chat had been perched on all evening. “I’ll pick you up here when everything is back to normal.” Jon grabbed Chat’s hand before he left and Chat looked at him.

“Thank you or cheering me up.”

“It was you that cheered me up,” Chat said smiling back at him.

.................................

Robin looked over at Ladybug who kept trying to cut ice cream in half which wasn’t working very well. There had to be a better way to do it. Robin ran and cut of the leg which just grew back and he wasn’t getting any smaller either.

“There’s got to be some way to get this ice cream off of him, where’s Superboy?” Ladybug yelled hoping that her cousin would have at least noticed the huge fight and came flying but now he’s been summoned and he can’t ignore being summoned.

Chat jumped down alone growling.

“Chat, what’s wrong?” Ladybug asked “If this is about earlier, you could have just told me that it had to be tonight, Chat you know you’tr my partner and I something is bothering you...” Chat ran forward.

“I want Hawkmoth, in a bodybag,” Chat said and the akuma stuttered for a moment.

Robin looked at Chat, it was clear that he had talked to Jon in the past few days but when? Jon had told Damian the exact same thing on patrol one night so Damian asked him to take a break from Superboy for a while or at least until the next akuma.

“Chat...” Ladybug started and Chat smacked her hand off of his shoulder.

“Don’t, he’s done so much to hurt us and the ones we love for what, one wish that will only cost more lives? He needs to pay for everything he’s done wrong,” Chat said looking up at Glacitor with cold eyes.

“Chat! Get control of yourself!” Robin yelled.

Ladybug used her lucky charm and made a plan to blow the ice cream off of the snowman. They started up a motorcycle and defeated the akuma. Chat walked over to Andre growling.

“Why were you akumatized?” Chat said glaring at him.

“A girl would not eat my ice cream that has brought together couples from all around the world,” Andre said and Ladybug winced.

“Next time, don’t let Hawkmoth pray on your emotions or just don’t get angry about little things. You don’t know what you’re doing when you become akumatized and you could do somethings you regret,” Chat said before jumping off. 

“What was that all about?” Ladybug asked Robin. “I mean you’re the detective or so I’ve heard,” she added.

“My guess is someone had a bad day and told Chat about it but everything should be fine once that person gets over their sadness and starts acting happy again. Chat has a point though Ladybug,” Robin said confusing Ladybug.

“What point is that?”

“Hawkmoth has to pay for what he’s done to these people,” Robin said before grappling away.

Ladybug sighed, Jon was really messing things up even if it wasn’t his fault. 

.................................

Chat landed on the roof and saw Jon looking off into the distance smiling slightly. Chat walked over to him and put a hand on his shoulder. 

“My cousin texted me about what you said, she was at the fight with Alya. Thank you for defending me but Hawkmoth needs justice not to be dealt with in inhuman ways,” Jon said and Chat hugged him.

“I know, I’m sorry,” Chat took him back to the balcony where he was before and on his way home ran into Ladybug.

“I know you want to tell me something important and we need to talk, tell me what’s wrong,” Ladybug said grabbing Chat’s shoulders.

“When we were fighting Dark Owl, I looked at you and I know who you are Ladybug, then I thought that Jon was Robin cause I never saw them in the same place and now I just feel like an idiot and I screwed up and I know I did...” Ladybug hugged him.

“It’s ok Chat, I looked too, I wanted to know who my partner was but this just means that we have to be in control of our emotions and stay calm even when the ones we love are getting hurt, you think that I’m not worried about Jon, you’re wrong, he’s my cousin and one of the bravest people I’ve ever met,” Ladybug said hugging Chat.

“Does this mean that things are going to be different at school?” Chat asked smiling.

“I think they are Adrien,” Ladybug said nudging her partner.

“Good, Marinette,” Chat said nudging her back.

.................................

Damian sat in Jon’s room watching him cry. It’s not like Damian would tell anyone or that Jon would remember it but Damian actually hugged his friend for the first time in a while.

“Everything is going to be ok,” Damian said and when Jon fell asleep, he called Clark.

“Hey kid, what’s going on?” Clark’s voice flooded the speaker.

“We need to finish the mission a little quicker than expected, you and father must come here at once to talk to the mayor. Jon is hurt and I don’t want to see him hurt,” Damian said trying to still sound serious but Jon was laying so tears still fell down his face even when he was sleeping.

“You mean the boy that he texted me about earlier that took him out and talked to him, give him some time kid, I was the same way when I was younger. If Jon is still sad in around a week then I’ll come visit. Thank you for worrying about him though Damian, it shows a real maturity,” Clark said before hanging up.

“Chat took him out but didn’t ask him out?” Damian asked himself before sitting down on Jon’s bed, “What an idiot.” Damian hopped out the window.

.................................

JPS: (hope we were active during this one) @loveswifi @ash-amg @wannajointhecrabcult @mochegato @toodaloo-kangaroo

Was there supposed to be some parallel between S8 Jon Snow and the Kingslayer? Didn't the Starks revile Jaime for breaking his loyalty to his sworn king, emphatically despite that king's madness and violence. And yet when Asha/Yara, the only remaining g, points out Jon should get fucked for his crime, Arya coolly smugs off at her 'don't threaten mine or we'll kill you. We get to be heroes. All y'all jags are others, xenos, non-protags.' The camera is smugging too.

Is it supposed be like Jon got it as bad or worse than Jaime because Jon's at the wall? That's where he was. And wants to be. He got the same treatment as Jaime: 'eh just continue the position you had been doing regardless of king/queen slaying' but so markedly without the revulsion surrounding Jaime. And Jaime wasn't even sleeping with the Mad King.

Where are the people spitting on Jon, chopping his hand or stupid hair off? Boy they sure do react different from a Kingslayer than they do a Queenslayer.

Is this that unspoken understanding among men that you get leeway if you end up killing your wife or girlfriend. Maybe she upset you, maybe she cheated, to punish a man for getting angry and killing his wife? That would set up a bad precent be where I, some hypothetical man, could get unfair retribution (consequences) for my actions to someone but not just any someone. Consequences for my actions towards a woman. My woman even. Like, calm down big brother. Bros before hos leeway rule amirite me

i still do | z.h

first imagine! enjoy!

summary: zach still feels things he wishes he didn’t

warnings: cursing

there is no better view

than watching you strip down after we argue

making it worth the pain that we go through

that smile on your face cause nobody knows you like i do

"Y/n!"

"What Zach? What do you want me to tell you?" You sounded exasperated. Having this fight with him for the third time this week made you wonder if the whole thing was really worth it.

"I want you to tell me that this is gonna work out! That we're gonna make it work, relationships need work y/n." He was mad, but he was also desperate.

"You're right, relationships do need work Zach, but this one isn't working. You can't force meant to be babe." His jaw clenched at your words, and so did your heart. It hurt to think about not being with him, but honestly, trying to be with him through the broken pieces of your relationship hurt even more.

"Don't tell me that." He mumbled. He looked into your tired eyes with his own.

You pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and let out a defeated breath. Zach took a step forward, grabbing your hips and pulling you closer.

"This isn't gonna work forever Zach." You told him, your eyes bouncing between his eyes and his lips.

"I know." He said through a breath, his voice husky.

His hands traveled up to rest under your shirt on your waist.

"You better kiss me quick Herron." You said lowly. Zach didn't say anything more. His lips were on yours as soon as you got your sentence out. His kisses were fast and feverish, his fingers hooking under the fabric of your t shirt and pulling your body flush against his.

He peeled the material off your body, his shirt following soon after. You smiled against his lips, knowing he knew you best, and would continue to know you best for awhile.

i still picture it (it's been a couple of months)

i swore in my head (this was the right thing for us)

but it's breaking my heart

it's breaking it off

"No! I can't do this! Not anymore." You ran out of the bedroom, tears falling from your cheeks and landing on the hardwood floor.

"Y/n, please we can talk about this." Zach came chasing after you, trying to calm you down and take the bag of your things from you.

"Zach, for the love of God! We can't just talk about this." You gestured between the two of you. "All we've been doing for the past month is 'talking' but really we're just screaming at each other and I'm done trying to fix what's so fucking broken."

"C'mon, you cant just run away! You're being so selfish!" His fingers gripped the counter, his other fist balling up tightly.

"You think I'm running away? You think I'm selfish? Let me tell you Zachary, I thought about bailing months ago, but I loved you too fucking much and I believed you when you told me we could work this out, I believed you when you said all relationships have their hiccups. This whole thing is a disaster and I'm tired of trying to fix this bullshit."

He swallowed hard. "You can yell and scream all you want, but it won't be at me anymore." He didn't say anything, just watched your shoulders shake with sobs as you slammed the door.

"Zach?" Jack's voice cut into Zach's thought of you.

"Mm? Yeah?" Zach pulled himself out of his zoned out state, looking back at Jack with sad eyes.

"You gotta stop thinking about her man, it's been months. You're only gonna hurt yourself more." Jack frowned. He hated seeing his brother in pain like this.

"I know." Zach repositioned himself on the couch. "I know it was the right move, us breaking up, but I keep seeing it my head. Her crying. Her leaving." He sighed, rubbing his palms over his face. "It really breaks my heart."

and now i'm afraid to say

i still do, love you, hate you

i still do, hate to love you

"Why does she have to be there?" Zach whined as Gabbie tightened his tie.

"Because Zach, you two may have broken up, but she is still one of yours and the guys best friends." She stepped back. "You don't need to spend the whole night with her, just say hi, but be civil."

"Love, Zach you guys ready?" Jack came inside the room, Lavender in his arms.

"Yeah." Zach said, very irritably as he pushed past Jack to the door.

"What's with him?" Jack asked, passing Lavender to Gabbie.

"He's mad 'cause he has to see y/n tonight." Gabbie said, bouncing Lav on her hip.

Jack walked around to his dresser, grabbing a tie. "I thought he wanted to see her? He talks about her all the time."

"He told me that he hates her."

i still do, want you to want me like i'm wanting you

The boys all filed into the limo and made their way to the dinner Jon was hosting. The car was quiet until Jack spoke up. "So Zach, how are feeling about seeing y/n?" He asked.

"I dunno man." Zach answered, rolling his back against the headrest of the seat. "I love her still bro. But I hate that I love her, and I hate her. Gah, I hate this."

Corbyn leaned forward in his seat, his hands folded in his lap. "Maybe you should just talk to her, you know, get some closure."

"She's probably gonna avoid me, but I can try."

You did avoid him for most or the party. You sat as far away from him as you could at dinner, left the living room when he entered to talk to others, looked anywhere but at him when he tried to make eye contact. But when he wasn't looking, your eyes were on him. You missed him, so much, but you couldn't let yourself go through that pain, not again.

Finally, Zach caught you. You were on the balcony with Christina, talking and looking over the city. The two of you turned around to find him standing in front of the sliding glass door awkwardly. He cleared his throat.

Christina glanced between you and Zach before saying "I'll let you two talk." She turned to you and placed her hand on your arm. "Come get me later if you want." You nodded and mouthed a thank you.

"Thanks Chris." Zach said as she passed him to leave you two alone on the balcony.

You turned away from him and examined the stretch of L.A. before you. You could feel him standing next to you, a little farther away than you expected him to place himself.

"Hi." He started, voice caught in the back of his throat.

"Hey." You didn't look at him at first. "What's up?" You continued, giving in and taking in his appearance. He looked good. But when did he not?

Zach kept his gaze off of you, knowing that if he looked you in the eye he'd be a mess. "I don't even know where to start. Um," He turned, his body now facing yours. "This whole, not being with you anymore thing is a lot harder than I thought it would be."

"Zach."

"I know it was for the best, that we drive each other crazy but-"

"Zach, it was for the best, and while I miss you like crazy and it's really hard and weird not being with you, I know that it'll get easier." You tried to keep your tone even and steady, although you could feel yourself wavering.

Zach debated weather or not to tell you that he loved you. That he hated you. That he couldn't live without you.

"You're right." He finally said. You nodded and gave him a sympathetic smile, knowing he was hurting just as much as you. You felt tears burning behind your eyes. Trying to hold them back you bit your lip.

"I'm gonna go say good bye to the boys." You said gently, wanting to escape before he saw you cry.

"Ok." Zach said, barley loud enough to hear. The two of you examined each other for a second too long before you turned away to the door, your heels clicking on the floor of the balcony. He watched the way you moved as you slid open the door and he kept his eyes on you as you walked into the house and out of his sight.

Zach let his head fall into his hands, rubbing his eyes with his middle and index fingers. He let out a long staggered breath, looking back to where you had just been. "Damn it."

oh i still do

__

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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2004

15 to 16 years old. A chaotic year for sure, but with a high quality soundtrack. So here’s a top ten list in which, as usual for that decade, several painful cuts had to be made.

Disclaimers:

Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.

Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.

My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.

I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.

To provide the usual personal context, that year, being that-weirdo-in-the-back-of-the-class suddenly became great when OTHER people were also considered weirdos-in-the-back-of-the-class, and together, with a guy who kept falling asleep in class because he had insomnia, another guy who had elocution problems, and a girl who arrived directly from Cameroun in the middle of winter and was kinda depressed, we formed some sort of losers club and suddenly things weren’t so bad anymore. Unfortunately I completely lost contact with these people after highschool and that’s one of the biggest regrets of my life.

And then in September I once again ended in a completely different class in Terminale (equivalent of Senior Year in the US unless I’m mistaken) and made another great friend. So while life at home was still pretty bad, at least it was much better at school.

At this point my parents also stopped checking what kind of singles I was buying, which means that instead of this madness from 2003 where I had to hide some purchases with other ones...

...I only bought this in 2004 and the rest were actual albums.

Also, I found some old tapes and oh my goodness look at the label on this one. Late 2002/early 2003 at its finest right there. Kyo written with a typo, next to Eminem, next to Mylène Farmer. Love it.

With all of that out of the way, here’s a list of honorable mentions first. A very, very long list.

Yeah (Usher feat Lil Jon & Ludacris) - Thank goodness I thought this song was pretty cool, otherwise I’d have been miserable while listening to the radio in 2004.

Milkshake (Kelis) - Ooooooh daaaaangerously close to the So Bad It’s Good category.

Let’s Get It Started (Black Eyed Peas) - Don’t have anything to say, it’s a lot of fun.

Dragosta Din Tei (O-Zone) - This took like four more years to chart in the US but we heard it all summer here. And it wasn’t unpleasant at all to be honest?

Heaven (remix) (DJ Sammy) - Hang on, wasn’t this on the 2002 honorable mentions? Yeah but it took two years to chart here so it was elligible for 2004 as well.

Turn Me On (Kevin Lyttle) - A quality earworm that somehow isn’t annoying? Sign me up.

Call On Me (Eric Prydz) - Hey, look, another repetitive dance track in my collection of repetitive dance tracks!

What You Waiting For? (Gwen Stefani) - I think this is the only Gwen Stefani song that never made me turn the radio off after a minute. Pretty good.

It’s My Life (No Doubt) - Love the original. This version, not so much.

Parce Qu’on Vient de Loin (Corneille) - Favorite artist of my best friend that year. That song was so moving and well-written. Never got tired of it but never actively listened to it either. If I had better taste it would probably make the list.

The Reason (Hoobastank) - I thought this was ok and pretty nice if a bit bland, and didn’t deserve the success nor the hatred it got. However, thanks to the rock journal I was buying at the time which was like “hey, please listen to the album itself, it’s great!”, I followed that advice, listened to the album at the cd store and bought it instantly. If you dislike this song, please listen to the rest of the album, I swear you’ll enjoy it. Here’s the first track, Same Direction, to get a general idea!

Don’t Tell Me (Avril Lavigne) - Her second album was very good, wasn’t it? What happened to her in recent years?

Je Saigne Encore (Kyo) - This was the last cut (HA, get it? cut?? ok sorry that was terrible) from the list. While I loved it back in the day and while I’m willing to ignore how cringy some stuff I loved as a teenager can be now, I'm not willing to ignore how this is basically a song about a white boy being dumped for the first time and hurting himself because he can’t deal with the mere concept of jealousy. And I’m like “holy shit calm down dude and please drop that knife”.

And now, the actual list.

10 - Hey Ya! (Outkast)

US: #8 / FR: #41

Who’s surprised. Come on. Everyone loved it. I even bought the single! And to think I almost considered leaving it out of the top 10 to put friggin Kyo on it, of all things. The indignity. But yeah, I genuinely loved this. The only thing I can say against it is that it’s a bit too exhausting to be listened to on a loop.

9 - 100 Years (Five For Fighting)

US: #77 / FR: Not on the list

I only heard this a couple of times that year and never paid much attention.

Then I heard it again in 2018 right in the middle of a very, very bad year, after losing my grandfather, and it absolutely destroyed me.

It’s very, very good.

8 - Face à la Mer (Passy & Calogero)

US: Not on the list / FR: #11

Very overplayed that year. A delight every single time it was on the radio, though. Don’t have anything else to say about it.

7 - Modern Times (J-Five)

US: Not on the list / FR: #26

A hiphop song sampling a scene from Modern Times with Charlie Chaplin. It peaked at number 1 here! Not kidding! I bought the single after hearing it exactly once. It’s fantastic and I’m really sad time buried it like it did. If you’ve forgotten about it or simply never heard it before, please give it a listen, it needs more love.

6 - Hit My Heart (Benassi Bros)

US: Not on the list / FR: #74

Remember last time when I said I was a major sucker for Benassi Bros? Well this isn’t an exception. That is a killer drop right there. It looks great and dark and glittery all at once and, by the way, the sunny and summer-y music video completely contradicted how the song looked like in my ears, haha.

5 - My Happy Ending (Avril Lavigne)

US: #54 / FR: Not on the list

I’m not entirely sure what went wrong and when in Avril Lavigne’s career the shift happened, but a couple of years after that song her music got a lot less interesting. I may have enjoyed her first album Let Go a lot, but this song might just be her best one ever.

The sudden shift from “YOU WERE everything” to “HE WAS everything” near the end, in particular, is great writing. Love that.

4 - Left Outside Alone (Anastacia)

US: Not on the list / FR: #76

Usually, voices, good or bad, have zero impact on me except when they border on unlistenable, or when they are physically painful to hear/look at. The guy from Muse for example has a voice that looks like the equivalent of a flashlight in the dark and it hurts, and I’m like dude. Can you please tune that down a little bit. Please.

This lady’s voice right there is fascinating though. Her voice is green and dark and it’s such a strange, rare voice I’m charmed whenever I hear it, and in this song in particular. This was on SO MANY of my tapes it’s not even funny. And the chorus is fantastic and a joy to sing along with even if you don’t have a good voice yourself.

3 - Orchestra (The Servant)

US: Not on the list / FR: #97

So we were on vacation, and they were giving away free cds at one stop. And I put the one I got in my portable cd player, and wasn’t that excited by the first tracks.

And then the fifth one started. And I was instantly captivated.

You already know I absolutely adored Placebo at the time (sadly, Protect Me isn’t elligible here either), and that guy from The Servant had a similar voice and the song was roughly in the same ballpark, and the lyrics were so, so weird.

There's an orchestra in me, Playing endlessly I even hear it now They play in the devil's key, An endless symphony I even hear it now And I listen to the music, Beautiful music Yes I listen to the music, Beautiful music

And, again, I’m terrible at describing sounds but the colors are so disquieting and there’s an unpleasant vibe except the song itself isn’t unpleasant? It’s so damn weird. And that band never struck gold again after that.

I still don’t know what happened or how all of this works. It’s a mystery. A very beautiful and curious mystery. This would have had a good shot at winning the #1 spot if it hadn’t been for [shakes fist] these other guys.

2 - Breaking the Habit (Linkin Park)

US: #79 / FR: #89

Only #2? Does... does that mean Linkin Park isn’t going to top my lists three years in a row? Holy shit, dodged a bullet there.

Should I really repeat my whole speech about Meteora. Should I really. Come on. It starts with the sound of a closing door, then broken glass, and then guitars explode in your face. The first line of the album is “sometimes I need to remember just to breathe”! Somewhere I Belong is one of my favorite songs from the band! I was trying to match the flow of Faint even if my English was still extremely shaky and my accent terrible!

And then there’s Breaking the Habit, which sounds almost pleasant compared to the levels of aggression displayed by the other songs. But it’s weirdly tense and stressful for that exact reason, because this relative calm sounds like a menace.

It works even better out of the context of the album, where it sounded a tad more aggressive than the average pop song, but still tense and stressful. And the music video is fantastic. I had it on a giant poster. I know I’ve kept it folded somewhere. If I only knew where it was, I’d show it to you. Covering up the (bright pink) walls in my room back then was a lot of work.

Edit: Nevermind. Found it:

Gotta say one thing though. At least they aren’t #1 for the third year in a row. What’s left of my dignity has been saved.

1 - Enjoy the Silence 2004 (Depeche Mode, Mike Shinoda remix)

US: Not on the list / FR: #89

Waiiiit a second. This was remixed by Mike Shinoda, wasn’t it. Mike Shinoda. From Linkin Park.

I guess Linkin Park IS topping my lists three years in a row in the end sdfghjhgfdfghjkjhg end me

But yeah. So. Enjoy the Silence tops a second list of mine, then. 14 years after the first one. I’m not gonna repeat what I’ve already said about that song. It simply got a brand new coat of paint, but still, even if it’s basically street art painted over a framed painting, what a masterpiece. Was genuinely gawking the first time I heard it on the radio.

And then Depeche Mode released one of their best albums ever the very next year, and it was the album of the year for me, and I became a big fan. So yeah, thanks for introducing me to their music, Mike Shinoda.

Bonus: I noticed my trusty old radio/cd player was in the background of a pic my brother took around that time! I miss that radio. It was pearl-colored and I had added stickers of birds and insects on it. So everytime I say “on the radio” in these posts, just picture this round little thing which was at the center of my universe back then.

Next up: Not the best song of the decade but pretty close

Fic Snippet - Revenge is a Wild Justice Chapter 31 - Game of Thrones

Time for another chapter preview of Revenge is a Wild Justice. In this case, you see me slamming my fist on the table and demanding Jon and Dany friendship and friendship only. I demand it; I want them to be bros and this is my fic so bros it is. 

Jon wanted some time to get his head on straight. It wasn't every day that he had to stare down a woman with three dragons and try to convince her not to burn two people alive. He was glad to see Arya and Gendry exchange their rings again because seeing the two of them so miserable was making him miserable. Sansa looked like she wanted to throw Daenerys out of Winterfell which was going to be a fun thing to deal with but she seemed to be calming down as she spoke with Tyrion. When Jon first met the man he thanked Tyrion for treated his sister with as much respect as he could considering their situation. Bran had blinked twice when everything started to settle down and looked at Meera with an odd expression on his face. Meera didn't smile a lot these days and when she took Bran's hand in her own Jon could see their knuckles turning white they were holding onto each other so tightly. 

"Jon Snow," Daenerys said softly. "I'd like to speak to you alone for a moment." 

"Of course," Jon replied. He ignored the looks that everyone was giving the two of them as they walked up through the dark halls of Winterfell up to his solar. When Daenerys walked in she looked a little pale and Jon did his best not to look at her hands that were shaking. 

"I don't know what came over me," she whispered. "When Jorah told me about Gendry and that you were keeping things from me all I could see was betrayal. This was the proof I needed that coming here and trusting you was a mistake. I could barely think straight despite Tyrion and Varys telling me it wasn't a good idea. I met that young man, I met your sister, they were good people and it didn't matter to me." 

"These are strange circumstances for all of us," Jon said as the two of them sat down in front of the fire. He offered her a glass of wine but Daenerys shook her head. "I just got Arya back and when she told me about Gendry the first thing I wanted to do was introduce you to the two of them. Then Arya told me that Cersei thought she could use him as a bargaining chip to you and that if she offered Robert's son you would grant her mercy. We'd exchanged some words by then and I knew how much you loathed the Baratheon's. I didn't want to risk Arya running off on her own after I just got her back. I couldn't lose my sister again." 

"I wish I had such fond memories of siblings," Daenerys said. "But I know what it's like to love and what it feels like to want to protect someone above all else. I didn't want to come here and burn people, I didn't want to be my father, yet when I attacked the Lannister army I did exactly that. How am I supposed to break the wheel if I'm repeating the mistakes of the past?" 

"Before I left to go see you Sansa told me that I needed to be smarter than my father or my brother or I'd end up just as dead as they did," Jon replied. "I'm trying not to repeat the mistakes of the past either."

"Do you think they'll ever forgive me?" she asked. 

"Gendry probably will but Arya might not," he replied honestly.

Best. Job. Ever. (Tom Holland x Reader) 2/?

Summary: Reader gets a job on the set of Spider-Man: Far from Home for the 3 weeks they are shooting in New York City as what she thinks is a production assistant, but a twist of fate has her reassigned as Tom Holland’s personal assistant. As she & Tom grow close during filming, will their budding friendship turn to more or will they go their separate ways after filming concludes?

Warnings: Language, but that’s pretty much it? This is basically a PG-13 rom-com.

Word Count: 1860 for chapter 2.

Author’s Note: As this was written WAY before Spider-Man: Far from Home was released (actually before Avengers: Endgame was as well) I’ve kept plot details and which scene was being shot on what day extremely vague. Also, I’m American but tried to write Tom as British as possible, although I do think he’d try to stay(ish) in character and use as much American slang as he could while he’s still playing Peter.

Requests are always open!

Cross-posted at AO3.

The next morning, Y/N woke up before her alarm, so she got ready early and headed downstairs to get her and Tom each a coffee before going back up to their floor.  She knocked on Tom’s door and was looking at her phone when the door swung open.

“Good morning, Tom, are you--” Y/N’s eyes widened as she looked up.

Tom stood before her in nothing but a towel, a toothbrush sticking out the side of his mouth.

Holy shit, he’s practically naked, she thought, feeling her face heating up . “I’m-- I’m sorry, apparently I’m early, I’ll come back--”

Tom yanked the toothbrush out of his mouth. “No, no, come in, it’s fine.”  He stepped out of the doorway and ushered Y/N inside, gesturing to the armchair in the corner. “Make yourself comfortable. I’ll just be a few moments.” He disappeared into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

Y/N had seen Tom shirtless on screen before, but nothing compared to seeing his chiseled abs in person. Mmmph.

She mentally shook her head before placing Tom’s coffee on the dresser and sitting and taking a sip of her own, letting the warmth of the coffee calm her. Get it together, Y/N. You're here to do a job, not moon over your celebrity crush.

A couple of minutes later the door opened and Tom stepped out, fully dressed this time in a pair of jeans, sneakers, and a blue plaid button-down shirt. “So sorry about that. I was up late studying my lines so I got a bit of a late start this morning.”

Y/N checked the time as she stood. “It's ok, we have a couple of minutes to get downstairs.”

Tom hurried to drink his coffee then grabbed a hat and his sunglasses so he wouldn't be recognized, and he & Y/N made their way downstairs to the hotel lobby.

As soon as they stepped off the elevator, Y/N's phone buzzed with a text. “Perfect timing. The driver's here.”

They exited the hotel to find a nondescript newer model black town car waiting for them.

“Mr. Holland, Miss Y/L/N,” the driver greeted, shaking their hands briefly.  “My name is James, and I'll be your driver to and from set while you're in town.” He stepped over to the car and opened the door for them.  

“Ladies first,” Tom insisted, gesturing to the car.

Y/N slid into the back seat, Tom following behind her. They buckled in while James settled himself in the driver's seat.

“Okay,” James said once he had buckled in and eased the car into traffic, “we’ll have you at your destination in just a bit.”

Tom pulled out his phone and started scrolling through it, so Y/N took advantage of the silence to look out of the window. A few seconds later, her phone buzzed with a notification.

Instagram: tomholland2013 just posted a photo.

She glanced over at Tom, who had just put his phone away. She tapped on the notification and Tom’s Instagram popped up.

It was a selfie that he had obviously just taken, with the caption “On my way to set. Can’t wait for you all to see the finished product! #spidermanfarfromhome”.

She grinned over at Tom, who had been watching her. “You’re really good about keeping your fans in the loop.”

“You follow my Insta?” he asked with a smile.

“Yeah, I have for a while. I follow a lot of the Avengers cast.” Y/N shrugged, like it was no big deal.

Tom pulled his phone back out. “What’s your username? I’ll follow you back.”

Y/N gave him her Instagram username and sure enough, a few seconds later she received another notification.

Instagram: tomholland2013 is now following you on Instagram.

“I'm going to have to screenshot this momentous occasion so I can post it to my Insta,” Y/N joked.

Tom laughed. “I can do you one better. How about a selfie together?”

Y/N grinned and shook her head. “Nah, I'm not really going to post it. I wouldn't take advantage of your celebrity status just to gain a few Instagram followers.”

“Well how about just for us then?” Tom leaned closer to Y/N-- or at least as close as his seatbelt would allow him-- and pulled out his phone once again.

Y/N leaned in as well and smiled as Tom snapped a selfie of them together.

He texted it to Y/N and she saved it to her phone.

“All right, folks, we're here,” came James’ voice.

Y/N looked out the window. Sure enough, they had arrived at the set.

James stopped the car, got out, and opened the door for them, Tom sliding out first and Y/N following suit.

“Ok, so I just got the detailed schedule for today and it looks like it’s going to be pretty tight.  You’ve got just enough time for hair, makeup, and wardrobe if you go right now. Filming is scheduled to run from 8:30 till noon when everyone will break for lunch for an hour, then it's back to filming until 5 pm.” Y/N looked at Tom. “Do you need anything right now? Coffee? Tea? Food?”

“Actually I'd love a croissant from the craft table if you wouldn't mind fetching me one,” Tom replied somewhat sheepishly. “ I could smell them when we walked in.”

Y/N nodded. “I'll go grab one and meet you in hair & makeup.”

“Thanks so much, Y/N.”

Y/N walked over to the craft table and grabbed a croissant for Tom as well as a muffin for herself and headed back to the hair and makeup room.

“Oh, darling, you’re a lifesaver,” Tom said, taking a bite of the still-warm croissant.

Y/N laughed. “It was no problem. Do you need anything else?”

Tom shook his head. “No, nothing else at the moment, thanks.”

“Um, ok then… I guess I’ll see you on set? I feel kinda weird just hovering while you’re trying to get ready.”

“Nah, it’s fine,” Tom replied. “I’m almost done here anyway.”

His stylist dusted some sort of translucent powder on Tom’s face then finished taming his wild curls into Peter’s signature hairstyle. “Ok, you’re all set,” she said.

Tom hopped up. “Shall we?” he asked Y/N.

They made their way to wardrobe, where the wardrobe supervisor took a look at Tom, handed him a t-shirt to change into, then declared him ready for filming.

Tom unbuttoned his own shirt and took it off before carefully pulling the t-shirt over his head.  “Ok, all set,” he said.

They then headed to set, stopping every so often for Tom to say hello to someone, including Jacob Batalon, who played Ned.

They finally made it to the set proper, where  the director, Jon Watts, was wrapping up a conversation with a lighting tech. “Ok, fantastic. Thanks Josh.” He turned to Tom and Y/N. “Tom, my man! How's it going?”

Tom gave him a fist-bump/bro hug combination. “Jon, great to see you.” He gestured towards Y/N. “This is Y/N. She's my P.A. for the rest of the shoot.”

Jon shook her hand. “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise,” Y/N replied.

Jon clapped his hands together. “Ok, let's get this show on the road! Places people!”

Y/N silenced her cell phone as everyone scrambled to get into their places and Jon called for quiet.

“And… action!”

Y/N watched in fascination as Tom seamlessly transitioned into Peter Parker. She had literally only known Tom a couple of days, but she could see how much of himself he put into the character.

They repeated the scene a few times from different angles, Tom and Jacob clowning around between takes.

Finally Jon called “cut” and broke for lunch.  

Tom walked over to Y/N. “What did you think?”

“That was fantastic,” Y/N replied.  “I can tell you really put thought into your portrayal of Peter.” She held out two bottles of water.  “Oh, here. I thought you might be thirsty, but I didn't know if chilled or room temperature water was best.”

“Wow, thank you so much.” Tom reached for the room temperature bottle of water and took a swig. “Shall we get some lunch?”

“Oh, I figured you would want me to go pick you up something,” Y/N replied questioningly.

“We’ve only an hour, so there’s not a whole lot of time to actually go out. Lunch is usually catered in,” Tom explained.

“Well in that case, sure. Lead the way.”

Y/N and Tom hung out with Jacob and some of the crew during lunch, Tom introducing Y/N to everyone.  Most of the crew had been together during the entire film shoot, some having also previously worked on Spider-man: Homecoming.

After lunch, a few more scenes were shot, and finally the set wrapped for the day.

Y/N waited near the entrance to the set and checked her email while Tom changed back into his button-down.

“Ready to go?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m ready,” Y/N replied. “James is waiting out front.”

They made their way to where James was picking them up and had a comfortably quiet ride back to the hotel. They thanked James and headed through the hotel lobby to the elevators.

After they stepped onto the elevator and hit the button for their floor Tom asked, “so what are you planning on doing this evening?”

“Oh, probably just catching up on some reading,” Y/N replied. “You?”

Tom rubbed the back of his neck. “Actually, I was thinking about dinner?”

“Oh, yeah, ok. I can go back out to get you something once we get back to the hotel if you want to go back to your room and relax--”

Tom shook his head. “Actually I was thinking about the two of us having dinner, together. Even though last night was technically a meeting I really enjoyed your company. I eat alone so often that it’s nice to have some someone to chat with, y’know?”

Y/N felt bad for Tom. She couldn’t imagine having your every move scrutinized just because of who you were and not really being able to go out and enjoy life for fear of being mobbed. She thought a second. “Um, sure. Ok.”

“How does Italian sound? I know this fantastic restaurant not far from here. And don’t worry, it’s nothing overly fancy.”

“Italian sounds great.”

The elevator doors opened and Y/N and Tom stepped out into the hall, Tom turning towards Y/N with a grin. “I’ll come ‘round at say, 7?”

“Ok, 7 it is.”

“Fantastic. See you soon then.”

“See ya.”

Y/N watched Tom walk towards his room before heading to hers. As soon as she was in she pinched herself. Yep, this is real . She was actually going to dinner with Tom Holland! As friends, of course, but still… She sent Laura a quick text: Going out to dinner with Tom. More later! She plugged her phone in to charge before gathering the things she needed in order to shower and get ready.

Tagging: @thoughstofaredhead & @greenarrowhead 

Brown Sugah Baby: Chapter 5

Prologue || MTC || C.1 || C.2 || C.3 || C.4 || C.5

{What’s up everyone! Here is another installment of Brown Sugah Baby! I don’t own the Divine Nine; the Southern University marching band nor the canon characters. I only own the OCs. This is pure fiction and nothin’ but imagination. This upcoming week I will be on vacation, Spring Break, so nothing will come out next week. I’ll be writing stuff yes, but not posting new content. I’ll still be on though. Enjoy!}

Warnings: brief look into Nefe’s past which is slightly dark. Emotional abuse mention and false claims.

Song inspiration[s]: They Don’t Know by Jon B

Word count: 2,813 [it gets deep yall]

Tag Squad: @maddiestundentwritergaines || @destinio1 || @designerwriterchic || @terrablaze514 || @themyscxiras || @sirenmouths || @chaneajoyyy

[Continuation of Chapter 4]

“Oh that’s cute. Real cute.” Melanie scoffed and sighed in a high pitched tone.

“The pink and green will reign supreme, and will be ready to get down, if you know what I mean?” Melanie and her girls went and the crowd loved them, as they sway their hips and act as raunchy as possible.

“Aww that’s cute. Real cute.” Nattie was next and she got a standing ovation, causing her adrenaline to rise up even more. Doing her stomp from pure memory, over having to practice it several times, having the girls follow in pursuit.

“You know we originate, we never duplicate. I am the boss, you can’t get none of this sauce.” Nattie felt in control after her call out and saw Jordana come up.

“I guess we didn’t take out the trash this morning ladies.” Giggling a bit before high fiving Melanie, and flipping her hair as well. Jordana was Melanie’s sidekick and the campus bunny. Being the campus bunny was a good thing, but she claims it is. Adjusting their pearls, she lead them.

“We tried to be nice, we ain’t gone tell you twice. You give us a mean glare, but all the boys love to stare.” The AKA’s riled up the crowd even more and Nefe knew her girls weren’t doing down without a fight. She gave a head nod to her girl Nakia.

“Oh that was cute.” She wipes a fake tear from eye, and glanced around the crowd herself. Taking in the ambiance and feeling loose. Basking in the glory of her achievement.

“Now now, ladies. You all are cute, but there can only be one true crew of the yard. Let me show you.” She started off in a slow, stomp and clap rhythm. Being egged on by her girls, was encouragement enough for her to lead the stomp into full effect.

“Because we ride, and we don’t hide. This ain’t no race, so get out my face. At least you tried, but oops we lied. You can never be me, cause we the queens of DST!” The gauntlet has been thrown and by the noise of the crowd, the Divas has won the yard battle.

“This isn’t over.” Melanie got up too close to Nefe and that was a major issue.

“You lost Med School. Admit defeat and stroll on outta here with ya girls, while you still can.” She was never one to back down from a fight, but only ever used her words and never her hands. This time she got up and personal in her face.

“Or what? You gonna put a curse on me?” Melanie nudged her head back with her manicured index finger, and Nefe saw red.

“Girl, if you don’t get up outta my face, I will slice you like government cheese!” She lunged for her so fast like cheetah in the Sahara, but watched her get pulled back by Sean. It dawned on her that maybe the rumors were true. She didn’t want to believe them, not one bit.

Instead, M’Baku pulled her back and she didn’t know what to believe anymore. What she saw was 2 years worth of heartache; 2 years of anger and frustration, 2 years of verbal assault from this boy who claims to love her and 2 years of believing she was in love all go down the drain. She watched it all go crash and burn over Melanie. He was making sure she was ok and not his actual girlfriend. Well ain’t this some shit.

“So you datin’ her now? Dios, mi padre me advirtió sobre hombres como tú.” She scoffed, getting angrier by the minuet, speaking in her native tongue as she watched Sean slightly lose the color in his face a bit.

“We speak English in this country-“ before Melanie could even finish her sentence even further, Nefe smacked her across her face so hard the echo ricocheted off the bricks of the buildings. The whole scene paused in affect; Nefe’s chest was heaving in anger.

You could visibly see the red hand print slowly form on the left side of her face. Melanie held her face and couldn’t believe what just happened.

“I fucking warned your dumbass!” She yelled in pure rage, before watching her leave. “And you!” She turned towards Sean who looked at Melanie leave with his sister, Jordana, but his attention went back to Nefe and he ultimately looked frightened.

“Nefe look-“

“Sean give it up. You’ve been cheating on her with Melanie, for months now. After I broke up with her, you slithered in like a cobra.” M’Baku finally spoke up and the group was in shock, all except their friends.

“Mind your fucking business, son. You don’t know shit.” Sean just confirmed he was cheating right then and there. Once M’Baku let Nefe go she looked the group in disgust.

“Nefe-” Sean started again, but got shut down.

“Cállate! I trusted y’all with everything, and you keep this from me!? This big of a secret, and I thought we were friends. We tell each other everything!” The look on her face was distraught. She was distraught and disappointed at the same time, with all of them.

“You all knew and didn’t say shit to me?! How could you?” The utter disgust and dismay caused her whole world to crash down around her.

It was confirmation enough that he really didn’t want her anymore. What caused him to lose interest in her? Shaking her head in defeat, she chuckled dryly. It brought Nattie to tears to see her best friend this much in pain.

“Nefertiti, you know you can’t hit girls like her. She’ll press charges.” Sean explained as he walked away  from her with Melanie, who turned around and made a face at Nefe. Causing her to run and got caught again by M’Baku.

“fuck her! You all don’t get it! You all do not understand how much I hate her.” Her screams of frustration ripped through her, like a shard of glass. All the while shaking her every foundation, as she clawed at the arms that held her, she soon enough stopped and just broke down. Crying on M’Baku’s sturdy chest.

“She gets everything, and I can not get one good thing to happen to, to me at all. Nothing good has happened to me.”

“That’s not true.” M’Baku lifted her chin up a bit to look into her eyes deeply. “You got your friends and me. You’ll be fine.”

A slight sense is relief washed over her in tranquility, causing her whole body to shiver. That’s when she knew for sure that her mom was right. Trying her very best to calm down, she couldn’t. The tears kept falling down her high cheekbones, giving her an angelic glow. Coming to a grand conclusion, she knew what she had to accomplish.

“I suppose you’re right. I just don’t feel like I’m up to par with all of this. It all just happened all at once, and I feel like I need some time to myself.” They all gave her a sympathetic nod, giving her a group hug before she left with Nattie to go home safely.

“It might be your time Baku. It just might be your time.” T’Challa patted his shoulder, earning him a smile and stuffing his hands in his pockets.

“It just might be. But for now, I have to plan to get rid of one more obstacle.” Rubbing his scruffy chin in thought, M’Baku saw Erik and T’Challa smile from the corner of his eye.

“We might be able to help with that, bro.” Erik let out a low chuckle, sighing gently as they all headed back to their respective homes.

M’Baku’s POV

As days turn to weeks; seasons change and the months are new. The fall winter weather, brought on the chilly nature that I was accustomed to back home in Jabari Land. Midterms were long gone and finals were approaching, turning everyone into panic mode.

I had a major project due in my African history class, the irony of it all, and I needed some help with it. Okoye and Nakia did their part, I just needed a dancer for the presentation. I knew just who to ask, and it wasn’t going to be an easy task.

Liking someone you’ve known for years can either go two ways; a long time of living in every stage or staying in the friend zone. With what I’m going through right now, let’s just hope it’s the first option.

Hearing swing music playing from the dance room; the tapping of dance shoes and the twirl of ebony colored locks in a frenzy. I knew she was back to her old self again. Leaning against the door frame to watch her dance was like watching a symphony orchestra perform before my very eyes.

“You coming in here to dance, or stand there like a weed in the swamp?” Nefe’s angelic voice broke my concentration, causing my face to heat up in embarrassment. Earning a smile from her was rewarding enough.

“Ah well I’m not much of a dancer, Nefe.”

“That’s too bad. Because I was just about to look for a partner for my music history project. I could ask-”

“Say no more. I’d rather you not kill anyone.”

“That’s what I thought. You got on good shoes, and I suppose I owe you a talk.” Turning on the salsa music track list and letting it play, Nefe pulled her hair up into a bun. Looking even more graceful as ever. Man I got it bad.

“Suppose? Darling you owe the whole tribe a dinner.” The deep baritone voice of mine, entranced her ears as I looked at her reflection in the mirror.

She looked dazed and in a trance that couldn’t be broken. The hold she had on my waist and my left hand, was foreign but felt right at the same time. As if we were meant touch, in a never ending battle that our souls were meant to be together.

“I can see why the ladies love you, M’Baku. You’re a sweet talker.” The way she maneuvered her body around to face me, with the twist of her hips and a spin, send chills up my spine. She was trying to kill me.

“I was raised to treat a woman with respect and not take foolishness from no one. I was mistreated by a she who shall not be named, because she took advantage of my generosity.” Moving to the beat of the music was effortless, when it came to her.

Something about dancing with Nefe felt like it was second nature. Focusing on both our feet to not collide, it was a smooth pivot and a few twists, that had her back against my chest. My hands were placed on her hips in a manor, that would be forbidden in so many ways, but yet it wasn’t in this case. The way she moved them, was sinful.

“She did take advantage of you. It hurt me to see you like that.” She admitted softly, not taking her eyes off of mine.

“Someone else took advantage of my best friend as well. But she was too blinded by “love” to see it.” The soft tone of my voice made her nervous.

“On another more important note; we need to talk about the night we almost-”

“Kissed? Yeah we do how about tonight? Say dinner at Grub Burger Bar, around 6ish?” Batting her eyelashes ever so gently, caused a smile to appear on my face.

“Sounds good to me. See you around, gorgeous.” I placed a sweet kiss on her cheek, as I always do, before heading out the room.

“Oh and uh, you’re helping with my project as well. See you tonight.” I simply added as I waved goodbye.

“You hustled me. I see you Akinjide.”

While sending a wink in her direction, I finally got a laugh out of her. The first laugh in a while, it was all worth it. Tonight was important and I couldn’t wait.

An hour and 45 minutes go by, of boredom, and I can't get Nefertiti off my mind. On my way to my art class, I see the most predictable event ever. From a comfortable distance, it looked as if Sean was trying to smooth his way back into Nefe’s good graces. Yet by the looks of it, I assume he’s done it. Hugging her while getting a feel along her hips and giving me a greedy smirk. He knew I was there. Seeing her walk away pained me once again, along with being filled with rage.

“Looks like I won again. She’s all mine.” He said while walking towards me.

“Sean, I will literally break you if you mistreat her. You can count on it.” The threat didn’t seem to phase him, as he snickers at me.

“Or what? You gonna-” I pinned him against the wall this time, thankful for no one being in the hall. The panicked look on his face was priceless, seeing as though I was at least 6 inches taller than him to begin with. Not to mention bigger.

“It’s a promise this time. Watch yourself.” I gave him a once over, before letting him go, to head towards my next class. So much for being in a good mood.

Nefe’s POV

Never in my wildest dreams would I be so close to killing someone, on sacred ground, in front of my friends. Melanie took me out of my comfort zone, and my father has always told me; ‘don’t let others break you. They don’t know what you’ve been through.’

He’s right. He, along with my mother, were always right. It took me a moment to be center and get back to myself. But tonight was about remembering the good old times from our childhood. It’s a amazing how much time could be brought back by a simple picture. Looking for the right shirt to along with my black jeans, Nattie came by with a curious expression.

“Where you goin’ miss thang? Looking all curvaceous and shit.”

“Out to dinner with a friend. You seen my aquamarine stud earrings?” Slipping on my olive green ankle boots, i took a look through my closet for a sweater

“On the dresser. Dinner with whom, is what I should be asking. Cause a little birdie told me she saw you hugging Sean earlier.” She didn’t miss a beat with the drop of her facts. Upon hearing the sigh that left my lips, she interrupted me.

“Have you not learned a thing about that boy? Cause that’s what he is; a boy. He only thinks with what’s in his pants and I’m tired of you being hurt over this fast ass hoe.”

“Listen, Natasha-” she grabbed a hold of my arms this time.

“No Nefertiti, you don’t need him! He’s not worthy of you and he’s a piece of shit. You deserve someone like M’Baku, please listen to me. To your tribe-” it was my turn to interrupt her.

“I’m not going out to dinner with Sean. I uh, I’m going to dinner with M’Baku. Just as friends”

The look on her face was priceless. Followed by a sequel of excitement and a tight loving hug.

“Oh my god! I’m so proud of you! Where are y’all going? Is he picking you up? What is he gonna wear?” Nattie was more excited than I was, and I was the one going out to dinner. I’m just nervous because this is a first for us both.

As if on cue, my phone was ringing and it was the man in question.

“Hello? Hi M’Baku, you ready for tonight? Oh, uh I’m sorry. No, no it’s ok. I understand, we can always reschedule. I get it, see you tomorrow. Bye.”

I didn't think I’d be crying over a dinner date but this one, this one hurt like getting burned with a 450 degree flat iron. Letting the tears fall down my face, messing up the foundation in the process, I felt defeated. What happened?

“Nefe. Everything ok?” Nattie asked.

“M’Baku cancelled the dinner. Saying he had to study for his presentation. Which I know is a bold face lie, something must’ve happened before had.”

“Well Sandra did say, she saw Sean and him talking before he had to go to class. This was right after seeing you two hug.” Nattie explained while hugging me. It all made sense. M’Baku wouldn’t have done this if Sean didn’t hug me.

“Fucking hell. He must think we got back together. I gotta fix this ASAP, it’s already late as is. I’ll talk to him sometime eventually, I hope.” Rubbing my temple in frustration and agony, I knew all of this had to be fixed.

Can anything in our lives go right?

What i find interesting and curious

What i find interesting and curious are Jon's reaction to Ramsay, LF and Theon and how Jonsa gives 'this' feeling to me that should have been given by j0nerys if they are the ones who would be the endgame.

We saw the very very very angry Jon. That was the only moment where we saw Jon filled with so much rage and punch someone like that. But then, he stopped when he saw sansa. Its like he calmed down and had a chance to grip back on the reality.

When he was in the crypts. That was the first time we saw Jon getting annoyed by someone that much. Like his face screams "fuck off bitch" or "tangina mo". But he remained still even though LF already mentioned he loved sansa. And then baelish said that he loves Sansa as he loved Catelyn, there he loses his shits. He growled, choked and gave him a threat. When baelish said that, there and then, Jon knew that this man doesnt love Sansa as a daughter or how a mentor loves his student but he loves him romantically. And he says he loved Sansa but he sold her to the Boltons, bullshit baelish bullshit. And catelyn is a big part of Jon's life, he wanted her recognition. And bringing her name with Sansa and all the bullshit that you did to her lays underneath? Too much.

And then Theon. Where jon told him that the only reason he wouldnt kill him is Sansa. He betrayed Robb, killed innocent farmer boys, he beheaded important and remarkable people, and you wouldnt even make him bleed? What did he do to Sansa since sansa is the only reason why Jon would do something to him? He helped her escape, oh yes, but if Brienne didn't come i dont wanna think about what Ramsay could have done to them. If it wasnt for brienne sansa would make it to castke black. Its one thing. It might br a big thing yet it still doesnt pay off everything for jon to not hurt him. Unless there is something in jon about sansa that is deep and developing.

Idk i cant explain what I want to say but what jon did in these scenes are a bit too much for me to be platonic. I have bros and sissys but if i was to put into jon's shoes, i'll kill ramsay with my own hands, wouldnt growl and choke LF but i will only threaten even if i am so annoyed/angry with him, and I might have made Theon bleed. Yes I am far from Jon but when I asked my one of my bro and one of my sister (i gave them the situations, changed names and didnt mention anything about these scenes are from a series and they havent watched got) their answer was almost the same as mine. The only difference my bro will imprison theon as punishment for what he did to the boys and for the unreasonable beheading.

For me, its like Sansa hold Jon's sanity. It's like he remains human because there is a reason. He stopped breaking Ramsay's face because of Sansa. He gave both LF and Theon the chance to still live and its because of Sansa. Also, we saw that jon feels meaningless, he was confused why he was brought back from death. He was willing to leave everyone behindㅡthe wall, his oath, his brothersㅡto find himself. He was tired of fighting. Until Sansa came and gave him purpose again. She gave her a reason to fight again. For home as in home home. Sansa gave her the recognition he always wanted, to be a Stark and feel like a stark. Sansa is important to Jon not because he is her 'sister' it was because Sansa is Sansa.

I also think that being apart as kids is an important note. They are different from what they were before. Like they have transformed into someone better. Someone far from the mistakes they made. It was amusing for both of them to see who and what they are now. They valued each other for that. It was like a new start. It was like as if they met each other for a first time. If they would have been close as children like jon to robb/arya, it will totally be platonic since the bond they had will still be strong and they will view each other as the continuation of their childhood who learned many things in their journey. Its just like a change, notba transformation. It wouldnt be like a new person, it will only be an upgraded version.

Idk man idk. Its just too wonderful and curious for me to be platonic and how it was filmed was too much to be platonic too. I was a j0nery shipper that time (who kinda feels disgusted with jonsa) and i kept asking why does jon and sansa feels like a couple why do they have 'this' tension even with the smallest of things; why do they give this feeling like they like/love each other but suppreses it because it doesnt seem right? And why was j0nerys isnt like this when in fact it was them who should be giving this feeling to the viewers if its really them who will be the endgame. Why are the ways they were filmed didnt gave me 'that' feeling? Why did 'that' feeling is felt with jonsa and not j0nerys? It should have been j0nerys that shows 'that' feeling, why was it felt with jonsa?

I am not a professional in explaining so excuse my ugly post. Im just curious and interested ya know.

The Dragon Club: Chapter 47 - Ramsack and Alarm

Link: http://archiveofourown.org/works/12018519/chapters/28944570

--------

She was wearing that white dress he loved so much from the first time he met her, she was standing in the doorway of her bedroom, grinning with a look he knew only too well. She prowled towards him, undoing her hair and letting it all fall down her back. He was breathing heavily as she reached the bed. She had a twinkle in her eye, and finally she spoke.  "Hello my love, I've missed you"

"And I you" He managed to reply. This beautiful creature in front of him smirk as she let her white dress fall to the floor, revealing her milky white skin underneath, breasts perfectly round and hips nice and prominent. She was a feast, a treat, one he did not deserve. "You're incredible"

"Am I?" She squeezed her own breasts, played with them and teased him as he grew hard. She chuckled, her hand skimming her sex as she drove him crazy. She put a knee up onto the bed and crawled towards him. He breasts swaying as she never broke eye-contact. He sucked in the air around him as he held his breath, worried it would never come back to him.  You've been longing for me"

She giggled as she straddled his lap.

"Always" He breathed as his clothes suddenly disappeared. She began to grind on him, his length hardening by the second. She was moaning, her eyes pouring into his, the violet iris' gleaming in the evening candlelight. He put his length inside her, it was a perfect fit, as always. He winced at the pleasure of feeling her around him. "Daenerys"

"Oh Jon... Jon..." He closed his eyes...

"Jon!"

Seven Hells.

He jolted awake and looked around the room. His sister Arya was holding his phone in his face. He'd slept for well over 13 hours at his home once he'd got back from his holiday and even though he promised himself he was going to go straight to Daenerys, he had been awoken with his sister's face. "It's your office, answer the damn phone!"

He grumbled and stole the phone from her hand, being careful not to reveal his boner which had occurred from his raunchy dream of Daenerys. He really needed to see her, if not to shag her senseless before he lost his own mind. But he'd never admit that, it was selfish. "Hullo?"

What he heard on the other end, made the boner leave and his brain wake up. He leapt out of bed and got dressed and left the door, Ghost who was staying with Sam and Gilly would have to wait a little longer. Arya shouted after him but he ignored her, leaping into his car and driving off. Jon returned to the office and witnessed a scene out of nightmares.  As he stepped foot into said office he knew straight away it was the intruder. Because the picture of him and Daenerys dancing at his sister's wedding that he'd had on his desk was now smashed and gone and there was plant pots broken and windows smashed.

"What the fuck?" Jon exclaimed. He immediately dialled Jorah's number, who would be starting his shift at Daenerys house just as Daario would be finishing. He answered straight away. "Jorah, is Daario still there?"

"He is indeed, he's just about to go down the lift now" Jorah's accent purred over the phone. Jon was thankful, at least he one hundrd percent knew it wasn't Daario, he'd been protecting Daenerys all evening. "Is there something wrong, Mr. Snow?"

"Send him to my office, you stay with Daenerys" Jon ordered. "There's been a break in here and it's definitely looking like the work of our friendly physcopath"

"Very well, Mr. Snow. He'll be right over" Jorah hung up leaving Jon to put his head in his hands. Alys was holding a bag of peas to her head, he rushed over to her immediately. She waved him of but he told her to sit down and stay there. She had a small cut on her face from where some glass had cut her. He called 911 and began to patch it up as best as he could.

"Tell me what happened" He asked politely.

"I um, I came in to get the kettle on of when you arrived, if you did and there was this man stood at the door. He had a scarf around his face didn't see him well. I told him we wasn't open to the public coming in her, it was a private office but he didn't listen-ouch!" She hissed as he removed a small piece of glass from her forehead.

"Sorry Alys, you were saying?" He ushered her on. She explained that the intruder had thrown a brick at his desk when she'd explained that Jon wasn't coming in today due to his flight being delayed from Greece and he got really angry. "He started throwing things around, I tried to calm him but he knocked me over and I hit my head on the wall. I don't remember anything much after that, just the smashing of glass, as you can see"

"Well you were really brave, Alys. And well done for calling me first before the police. But we need to get you some paramedic help, I'm not really good with blood and all that stuff" Jon laughed, although it felt like he shouldn't be. It was an extremely serious thing that was happening.

"Sir?" Alys asked.

"Please, call me Jon" He asked.

"Jon, that guy... what does he want with you?" Alys asked scared for the answer. Jon sighed.

"He doesn't want me, he wants my girlfriend. He's a stalker of Miss. Targaryen's" He said honestly. It was all coming to a head now, and there was no point lying to her, she'd defended the office for him, she'd gotten hurt because of him. She deserved to know the truth. She looked scared as he spoke it, Jon supposed that he would be too if he'd been caught up in the middle of something like this.

"That's really scary" She said.

"It is indeed, now rest, the ambulance will be here soon" He reassured her. As he said this, Daario walked through the door and Jon saw his face drop. "Good morning Daario, fancy helping me find this guy already?"

"Seven Gods" He said as he looked at the place. "Sorry, where are my manners. Daario Naharis, security for Miss. Targaryen?" He said as he shook Alys's spare hand. "You must be Alys Karstark, loving the articles you've been writing"

"Erm, thank you" She blushed fifty shades of red. Jon couldn't help but roll his eyes. "Jon when did the ambulance say they'd be here, I'm feeling a little woozy"

"You'll be fine, just rest and keep that bag of peas on your head" Jon reassured her. He put his arm on her shoulder in comfort. "Alys here tried to scare him off, I'm afraid nothing is scaring the big guy off"

"You did well Alys" Daario nodded. "What has been taken?"

"Just one photo, of Daenerys and I dancing at my sister's wedding. This guy is serious if he got past Qhono, Daario" Daario just shrugged slightly, obviously he was still annoyed at Jon. And he knew why. "Look, Daario. I owe you an apology, for thinking it was you. I know you care for her, and I see that now, I just... if anything ever happened to her I'd be... fuming, y'know?"

"I'm not having a bro moment with you here" Daario stated.

"I certainly wasn't after that, I was just being a man and admitting I was wrong to suspect you and to be so against you from the beginning" Jon shrugged. Alys started laughing and muttered a small 'men' under her breath as she listened. "And I know you meant well by suggesting her and I have time apart but honestly, mate I feel crap having not seen her in nearing three weeks"

"Not one of my finest ideas, but it seems to have drawn the other guy out and he's making sloppy mistakes now" Daario confirmed. Jon raised an eyebrow. Why does this feel like I'm on an episode of CSI: Miami or something? Jon thought. "This here, a brown long hair, it's easily over a foot long. This isn't mine or yours, and Alys here is a Redhead. Should be something for the police to I.D him by"

"Well done, good catch. Why are you surveying it for evidence again?" Jon asked laughing.

"Well when I turned up what did you think I was going to do?" Before Jon could reply to Daario's smart comment, Daario's and Jon's phones buzzed. Looking confused, they both looked and saw the code. SND HLP. It was from Daenerys panic room. Both their eyes flung wide open as saw it.

"Alys, stay here, explain everything you told me to the Police and get yourself help. Stay put!" And Jon legged it with Daario as she called after them. Jon didn't hear her, the voice faded away. It didn't matter, Daenerys was in trouble.

all my copypastas up to date

Copypastas You don’t have to be a parent to understand the horror of walking into a room to discover that the baby crawled out of his crib and onto that pottery wheel you forgot to turn off. And while the baby is spinning around and around, the dog is sitting there all calm, like a person, gently using his paws to fashion the baby’s soft cartilage head into something a little more modern. It might be the classic tale of bad parenting, but let’s see where the dog is going with this. somebody once trolled me, successfully rickroll’d me im not the sharpest n00b in the thread… just took another one of my signature “dust baths” it’s like a regular bath only i roll around in a bunch of dust and sand and start screaming when it gets in my mouth and eyes. anyway don’t trust the government Oh, purple-moustached clever Waluigi. Thou art such a genius when it is thy time to attack Mario and Luigi! How thou attach springs to thy shoes, know I not! Why dost thou not have thy own video fame? Art thou enraged that thou dost not have one? Why dost thou fight the Mario brothers? Thou art negative and wicked when shooting fireballs at thy green plumber, thy foe! Why art thou always cranky? Art thy purple knickers in a knot? Perchance Alvin Earthworm annoyed thou with his Youtube video. Why art thou so tall and slim? Perchance a Power Flower fell in you mouth when thou wast a baby. Why dost thou wear a purple suit? I like thy violet outfit for its unique hue. Shouldst thy brother Wario and thou fight so repeatedly? Is Bowser the Dragon-turtle you fiendish companion? I dost wonder what it wouldst be like to be friends with Bowser and thou. Dost thou own the Vicious Petey Piranha Flower? Dost thou like the kind Princess Peach? If thou couldst own a Yoshi wouldst thou? Thou art so sly and crafty our slippery Waluigi. Dost thou fight Geno the Explorer dangerously? Why art thou not in Super Smash Bros Brawl? Perchance thou art sad for being excluded from that rough game. Why art thou so nimble when thou escape the police? Thy symbol is an upside down L. Oh, thou art sneaky, secretive and tricky, mine own Waluigi! Ohhh my god. Ohhh ,y god. Ohhhhhhhhhhhhh THERE IT IS THERE IT IS. THERE IT IS. OH MY GOD. EAYEAYEYAYEAHEYAHEY EYAEAAAAAAA YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA YEAAAAAS. I FOOUND IT. I FOUND IT. I FOUND IT. I FOUND IT. YEAH. YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH. I FOUNDI IT FINALLY!!!!! YEAH!!!!! OH MY GOD. OH MY GOD I FINALLY FOUND IT. OH MY GODO. HOH MY GOD. I CAN'T BELIEVE IT. TAKE A LOOK AT HTIS EVERBODY. A LIVE SHINY PONYTA IN MY LEAF GREEN VERSION. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS. I FINALLY GOT IT. OH MY GOD my heart is beating 100 miles per hour. i was listening to my favorite band once again. Sum 41. No Reason. Live in Ontario 2005. after 25968 encounters I HAVE FINALLY GOT IT OH My god corre al gol, lo va a patear yyyy GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoOoOoOoOoOLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL!!!!!!!!!! GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL GOL!!!!!……QUE GOLAZOOOOO!!!! *churns butter very quickly I hope my last words are "see you in hell" spoken to my grandchildren at age 99 right before I cut out my tongue and live another 401 years 私は究極のミームだ I love everything about you Boy, do I love chicken strips. Sometimes, when I’m home alone, I’ll take some chicken strips fresh out of the oven and rub them in my scalp. It doesn’t do much for my hair health, but I like the way they feel running through my strands of hair. The flakey coating, smooth white meat, and warmth. Yum. stuffing your face as usual. I gotta have a good meal Garfield, you fat cat. You are so big and fat. Why are you so fat? I eat, Jon. it’s what I do it’s time to kick odie of the table dont do it garfielf, that’s our pet dog odie you’re going into orbit, you stupid mutt GAAAAARRRFIIIELD!!! time for a nap. I’m a cat who loves to snooze (echoing) garfield you lazy cat I hate alram clocks I’m am hungry I want some lasaga you’re eating us out of house and home, GARMFIELD enough with The Chit Chat let’s get some grub going GRUB TIME… where Are the 3-cheese pizzas I ate those food where Are the tacos shells ? I ate those food where did all the hamburger helper go *brup* You’re such a bad kitty that’s it I’ve had it with you that does it I’m done that’s the last straw grarfileld Somebody once told me the world is gonna roll me I ain't the sharpest tool in the shed She was looking kind of dumb with her finger and her thumb In the shape of an "L" on her forehead Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets? You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow [Chorus:] Hey now you're an All Star get your game on, go play Hey now you're a Rock Star get the show on get paid And all that glitters is gold Only shooting stars break the mold It's a cool place and they say it gets colder You're bundled up now but wait 'til you get older But the media men beg to differ Judging by the hole in the satellite picture The ice we skate is getting pretty thin The water's getting warm so you might as well swim My world's on fire. How about yours? That's the way I like it and I'll never get bored. [Chorus 2x] Somebody once asked could I spare some change for gas I need to get myself away from this place I said yep what a concept I could use a little fuel myself And we could all use a little change Well, the years start coming and they don't stop coming Fed to the rules and I hit the ground running Didn't make sense not to live for fun Your brain gets smart but your head gets dumb So much to do so much to see So what's wrong with taking the back streets You'll never know if you don't go You'll never shine if you don't glow. [Chorus] And all that glitters is gold Only shootin' stars break the mold http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=uU_eaXsPxOY "You'll never stop me!" I shout, running away. My body transforms into a small bee, and as I fly off, I turn around and shout, "You can't stop me! No one can stop me!!" I hit a glass door and fall to the floor. As I lay there, withering in pain as my small bee body dies a slow death, I whisper, "But I never said nothing could stop me." My body looses all movement as my lifeless corpse lays on the cold floor. A single tear runs down your cheek as you whisper, "Godspeed, honey man." HAPPY fourth of July! Hello! My name is Jeremy Frederick Wilson, but you can just call me… Bombittyboo! I know, yet again, I have not been dedicating, enough time to my vlog. However, today, I’ve created a new interpretive dance and poem routine! I hope this is the climax, the outcome, of all my creative juices, since my last interpretive dancing vide which was from over a year ago. Well anyway, this poem is in the format of an english sonet. I hope you really like it, and I hope you like it as much as me. Again, HAPPY fourth of July! I hope you all celebrate it carefully, and wisely! Well, here goes nothing! I hope you enjoy it! Oh so, so many years before today, our founding fathers with their many signatures, sculpted the greatest nation, as some say, one that too this day, still grows, and matures. This, our home. This, our country that we love. That we still celebrate, July fourth. The men who made us completely free of… British tyranny. Which reined south and north. Free from this! We join together in bliss. To honor all those, who came before us. But we do not just sit and reminisce. We look to the future, as we discuss. The bright prospects of our nation so dear. Which much proceed with strength, and lacking fear. Hey guys its Sam hi here with more tips for your everyday life, helping you out, bringing you wisdom. Hey im 27 I’ve been there I’ve done that I’ve been around the block. This next tip has to do with relationships. Love, romance, whatever you wanna call it. I’m gonna give you a surefire way to get her, your special someone, wrapped around your little finger. I mean they’re gonna be just.. Ooohh thinking about you all day. Here’s how you do it. You have to awaken the motherly instinct. You have to get your sweetie, your sweetie pie, to awaken her biological, uh, genetic motherly instinct. and it’s very easy to do. I’m gonna show you how to do it. Kay? You ready? Here we go. (gets on hands and knees) Mommy! Mommy! (smacking lips)Baby Sammy want milk! (slurping) Gimme milky! Mommy! Mooommy! Mommy mommy!! Mom! Mommy! Mommy Sammy want milk! (slurping) Baby Sammy hungry! Baby Sammy Hungry!! I want milk!! WAAAAAAH!! Gimme milky! Gimme milky! Gimme milk! Wah wah wah!! Baby want milky! Here comes the baby! Baby Sammy hungry! (crawling) Baby Sammy want milky! (approaching) Gimme milky!! Gimmy milk! Here I come! I want milk!! GIMME TIT MILK! GIMME TIT MILK!! BABY SAMMY WANT TIT MILK!! BABY SAMMY WANT TIT MILK!!! BABY SAMMY WANT TIT MILK NOW! GIMME THE TIT MILK OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯＯ I came here to have a good time but I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now. It’s a metaphor, see? You crave that mineral, but you don’t give it the power to have an extra hour with the ball pit. Oh sad frog, if only there was someone out there who loved you, but my anaconda don’t noot noot unless you talk dirty to me and make me squart across the room. Even if the girl kissed the boy, your fave is problematic – John Green is the zodiac killer, Luigi is giving the death stare, and it’s actually blood orange. Free him! Not all starter kits are for stealing her look, but sometimes you have to eat Lay’s chips during peach time and submerge unnecessary color palettes in bluespace, covering them in text posts for the aesthetic. I told my bae to come over because my parents aren’t home, but girls don’t like boys, they like the selfie olympics. the way they just [clenches fist] olympic all those selfies. According to the science side, “The average skeleton fights in war for 31 days” very factoid, much statistical error. The average skeleton fights in war for 0 days. Skeleton Georg, who uses tumblr pro, wears a fedora, and has fought in the skeleton war for all eternity, is an outlier and should not have been counted. You’ll never see the last meme of 2014 the way Garcia Lopez de Cardenas saw it, but that’s none of my business. Anyway, here’s Wonderwall. [Muffled Flappy Bird Music Plays in the Distance] neopets is honestly a horrifying and disturbing look into the faults of late capitalism and the unfettered exploitation inevitable in unregulated economic systems like first you have the ridiculous inflation rate caused by the ease of which you can generate new neopoints. it’s like the post-WWI germany thing—if you keep printing money, it loses its value. similarly, as people play games, play habitarium, use the stock market, (basically any way of earning neopoints that doesn’t involve rsing from the NPC shops) they’re not actually exchanging currency cyclically like economies rely on—they’re just making it out of thin air. 10,000 neopoints today was 1,000 neopoints a few years ago. even avatar items that have been around for a while have soared from 300k to 3 mil. inflation is further worsened by a few things. one is that there are very few neopoint sinks (only notable examples are the main shops, wishing well, paid dailies, and slots) and only ONE that works even remotely efficiently. they had the save the wheels neopoint sink a few years ago to try to combat the problem, which only fucked things up worse. in order to incite people to sink their neopoints, they offered prizes to people who donated a lot. but the prizes themselves, both during the event and after, just encouraged people to generate more neopoints to donate and get prizes. it’s also awful because kids don’t play neopets anymore. in a capitalist system there’s always relative poverty, but the poor are disappearing. do you want to play a game where anything worth doing costs more than you could ever dream of earning? how is an 8 year old going to learn how to restock draik eggs? poverty in neopia is earning, like, 33k a day, and richness is incomprehensibly huge. we’re talking billions, trillions. wealth disparity is huge with no regulatory system helping out the lowest tier, and the rich get richer with bigger interest, bigger stocks, and more wiggle room with auction sniping the supply/demand is so integral to everything you do, buy, or take part in. you have things like codestones that generally stay constant (in the 3-7k range, with some inflating 20-40% around war time when people are training more because hello demand!) and things like junk items that you think could NEVER inflate because the supply is so high suddenly inflating 1,000,000% or more in a day due to a site event. and the staff actually have NO IDEA how to fix it. save the wheels? fucked up. portal plot? hilarious. there are rules against hoarding items just to raise the price, but how do you control that? bread costs less than rotten tomato salads. if you earn 16k a day (about average if you’re casual) it would take you 59 years to save up for a dark faerie wand. hell will eventually be sucked into the vortex of neopets.com and we will all despair and i will be richer than all of you In ancient Greek mythology, Pygmalion was a highly accomplished Cypriot sculptor. Though skilled at imitating the human form, and well acquainted with it's subtleties, he became disgusted by it when he witnessed the Propoetides prostituting themselves. These women were punished by Venus for their lack of worship with a coarseness of skin and a crudeness of nature, and were then forced into prostitution. Seeing this, Pygmalion the sculptor was repelled and could no longer appreciate women. Seemingly alone, Pygmalion sought to create for himself a perfect, pure, unsullied companion. He used his particular skills to this end: he created a statue bride. What you are about to watch is a mysterious video. It's origin is attributed variously, and almost certainly spuriously, to various abstract artists or surrealists. The truth is that what we are seeing, and what we perceive to be strange and disturbing, is actually beauty to it's creator. Perhaps what we are viewing is the work of a modern Pygmalion. To him, her toneless voice, the paleness of her skin and the comparative vibrancy of her lips may indeed be the very embodiment of a perfect woman... Consider the mind-scape of the creator. In whose mind does this appear beautiful? In whose mind is this pure, near worshipful? Are we missing out on his perspective? Who are we to be afraid or to judge them? He may well love her fully, perhaps more fully than any of us could ever hope to be loved. In the mind of her creator, she is a near goddess; the perfect representation, not just of femininity, but the peak of human potential. A perfectly satisfactory being. How does that kind of unconditional love feel? Well, how does she feel? Fantastic. The "Swing Daddy" of the piano, Artie Antlers was one of the early cabaret characters at Pizza Time Theatre. Artie sang with a deep soulful voice, and his style of music ranged from boogie-woogie, to swing, to early Rock and Roll. He often referred to himself as "moose-ical" and also played up the moose theme by making quotes such as "this Moose is loose". Artie was used in the early 1980s, and was the final culmination of the characters of Elkton John and Glen Camel who were mentioned in the original 1977 PTT Program but never put into production. He was originally announced in 19793, and debuted during the first half of 1980. He originally appeared at three of the earliest Pizza Time Theatre locaions - San Jose (Kooser), Concord, and Sacramento, replacing Dolli Dimples in the Cabaret (then known as the Piano Bar Lounge). Artie Antlers was voiced by Jim Cunningham, a jazz artist whose band "The High Time Octet" had been written up in national papers. Jim was hired by the ad agency of Foote, Cone & Belding and flown from Denton, TX to do the recording at Wally Heider Studios in San Francisco. The piano player on the tracks was a man who played for the Pointer Sisters, and the entire recording session happpened over the course of only four days. Artie dressed in a flashy blue tux, and originally had a black nose which was later removed. Mechanically, Artie was identical to Dolli Dimples (minus the breast movement) – the duo can be seen together at the factory here. Shortly after his introduction, Artie required a retrofit for his antlers which were originally made of wood and broke easily. A styrofoam version was created that was more durable and did not break from the characters movements. During the very early 1980s, Artie was used widely on PTT merchandise, appearing in print on items such as calendars and annual reports. He was also featured on items such as the “Chuck E. Cheese Cube” and other redemption items. Despite his prominent exposure and usage, Artie was never given a second showtape - in 1982 when Dolli Dimples was renewed for a second tape, a new character was introduced named B.B. Bubbles instead of new material for Artie. Aspects of Artie Antlers were used in ideas for new retrofits, such as a Davy Crockett style retrofit for Artie, and a lumberjack character retrofit for The King, however neither materialized past the concept art stage. sweetie, you are literally so out of line it’s fucking unbelievable. i could drag you so hard right now but i know you’ll just end up crying. i’ve roasted you before and you know it. chances are you’ll just say i bullied you because you’re gay and have different skin. talk shit get hit, you don’t wanna mess with me kiddo; i’ve got a black belt. i know threats are fucked up but that’s all i’ve been receiving all day, probably from her royal hoodrat olive and all of her nasty friends. but you can gang up on me and make fun of me for being goth all you want. i’ve been hurt a lot. my first boyfriend cheated on me, my dad screams if i forget to do my chores, and there are some days i don’t even want to get out of bed in the mornings. i’m a jaded teenage girl. i’ve been through shit that you wouldn’t even dream of. you think your life is hard? try asking the cutest guy in your grade out in the middle of the cafeteria only to find out he has a fucking girlfriend. you don’t know my life or my story so keep my name out of your nasty mouth. life is a battlefield and it looks like i’ve already won. i’m a jaded teenage girl👸. i’ve been through shit💩that you wouldn’t even dream☁️🌜 of. you think💭 your life is hard?😁😣👿 try asking💬❓ the cutest😙😻 guy👱in your grade👦👱👧👩👸👲 out in the middle of the cafeteria🍔🍟🍕 only to find out😨 he has a fucking girlfriend👫💏💔. you don’t👎 know my life or my story📖📚 so keep my name👸 out of your nasty mouth👅💩. life is a battlefield💣🔫🔪 and it looks👀 like i’ve already won👌 👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀 good shit go౦ԁ sHit👌 thats ✔ some good👌👌shit right👌👌th 👌 ere👌👌👌 right✔there ✔✔if i do ƽaү so my selｆ 💯 i say so 💯 thats what im talking about right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) mMMMMᎷМ💯 👌👌 👌НO0ОଠＯOOＯOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👌 👌👌 👌 💯 👌 👀 👀 👀 👌👌Good shit I AM GAY! GAY! GAY! I LOVE LONG BIG COCKS. I’M A SUPER SUPER GAY I LOVE LONG BIG COCKS. Now once again, I would like to make this very clear. I AM GAY! GAY! GAY! I LOVE LONG BIG COCKS. I’M A SUPER SUPER GAY I LOVE LONG BIG COCKS. Thank you for your attention and I hope for your support. Teru! Teruteru! Teru! Teruteru! Hana…Hanama….Hana, Hana, Hanamura. Teru! Teruteru! Teru! Teruteru! Hana…Hanama….Hana, Hana, Hanamura. Teru! Teru! Teruteru! Hana…Hanamura! Hanamura! Hanamura! He’s a cook. He’s a cooooook. He’s a cook, cook, cook. Hanamura! Teru! Teruteru! Teru! Teruteru! Teru. Teru. Teruteru! Teru. Teru. He’s the cook. He’s the cook at the Super High School Level. Cook! Cook! He’s a cook. Cook! Cook! Cook! Cook! Cook! It’s Teru! Teruteru! Teru! Teruteru! Hanamura! Hanamura! High School Level Cook! Cook! Cook! Cook! Cook! Cook! He’s kinda plump, plump and round. Flirts with everyone. (guys and girls) (guys and girls) (guys and girls) He flirts with them all. Flirts with them all. And he loves his mom! Mom! Mom, happy mommy’s day. Teru! Teruteru! Teru! Teruteru! Hanamura! Hanamura! He’s Super High School Level Cook! He’s the cook at Dangan Ronpa! Super Dangan Ronpa 2! Goodbye, goodbye, despair academy! Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye, say goodbye, say goodbye to despair! Des-des-despair academy! Academy on a tropical island. On a tropical island. Trop-trop-tropical island of hope and despair! Hope and despair, it’s Teruteru Hanamura. Hanamura. The cook at Super High School Level! Cook, cook, calls himself a chef. Cook, cook, calls himself a chef. At the highschool, at the highschool, super highschool, super highschool. Super Dangan Ronpa 2! 2! 2! 2! 2! It’s Teruteru Hanamura! Hanamura, he’s a cook. He’s a chef. He’s a cook who calls himself a chef. Chef, at the Super Highschool Level. Level! Level! Level! It’s Teruteru, Teruteru, Hanamuru. Teratera Hanamuru. He’s the cook, the cook, at the Super Highschool, Super Highschool, Super Highschool. I'M WITH STUPID (TRANSCRIPT) SpongeBob, Squidward and Patrick's houses are seen. Patrick's house is shaking. SpongeBob knocks on it. Every time he does it closes. He opens it himself. Patrick is cleaning frantically. He featherdusts SpongeBob] Patrick: NEED...FURNITURE! [makes a lamp post model out of the sand; he then makes a sand drawer, television, stool, and a couch. The whole time he is still frantically mumbling] SpongeBob: Patrick, what's with the home improvement? [Patrick barks like a dog and continues to clean]Hey, Patrick! Patrick: Oooooooh, sweep sweep!! SpongeBob: Patrick, I came over to see if you wanted to go jellyfishing. But I can see you're busy having an episode. Patrick: [Stops cleaning. his face turns mad] You know something, SpongeBob? It's just all fun and games for you. Nothing really matters. [imitates SpongeBob] "Oh, let's go jellyfishing! We don't have any work to do! Life is just a big bowl of fancy assorted cashews, and nobody has anything to dust or to clean or to wipe! Or fabricate!!!" SpongeBob: But, Patrick, the only thing I've ever seen you clean is your plate. Patrick: [Patrick snaps out of being angry and starts crying] I don't know what to do, SpongeBob. You gotta to help me! SpongeBob: [gasps] Patrick! You forgot how to eat again! Come on, we'll get the funnel. Patrick: No, it's not that, SpongeBob; it's worse. SpongeBob: Darn, I like the funnel. Well, what is it, then? Patrick: Look! [Takes out a rolled-up piece of paper from his belly button] SpongeBob: Hey, a note! [A sixteenth note is shown] Patrick: Yeah, but turn it over, there's a letter! [The letter B is shown] SpongeBob: You're right! Patrick: And, I got this message from my parents! [Hands out a smaller letter] SpongeBob: Your parents? [Reads the note out loud] "Dear Patrick, your mom and I are coming out tomorrow for Starfish Day. Please try to remember, but don't try too hard, or you'll hurt yourself like last time. Love, Daddy". Patrick: SpongeBob, my parents think I'm dumber than a sack of diapers. SpongeBob: No, they don't, Patrick. Parents just like to push your buttons. Like this! [pushes Patrick's nipples and his eyes elongate]Nauuugh! Patrick: [Laughing] That always cheers me up. [His eyes go back to normal] But not today. SpongeBob: Patrick, if your parents think you're dumb, then they must not know what dumb really is. Patrick: But don't they watch television? SpongeBob: That's what I'm saying, Pat! If your parents got to meet a real dummy, they'd realize what a genius you really are! Patrick: But don't geniuses live in a lamp? And besides, we don't know any dumb people. SpongeBob: Don't worry, Patrick! I'll be the dummy! When your parents see how dumb I act, they'll think you're the smartest guy ever! Patrick: Math is power! [Bubble transition to the next day. Patrick is in front of his mirror] Patrick: A, B, C, D, E, F, G... [Doorbell rings] Oh! H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O...! Janet: Should I get the bullhorn again, Marty? Patrick: W, X, Y and Z! [Marty doesn't realize the door has been opened and knocks on Patrick's head] Hi Mom, Hi Dad. Marty: Son! You recognized us this time! Patrick: Why wouldn't I recognize my own parents? Marty: You never were a bright one. [Patrick groans. Marty laughs] Well, aren't you gonna show us inside? Janet: He probably forgot where it is. Patrick: Well I know where it... Marty: Oh, let me lead the way so we don't get lost. [Patrick, Marty and Janet hold hands] Huh? Hold hands now! [Inside the house] Ok, we're almost there! Let go on three. One...two...three! [Marty and Janet let go of Patrick's hands on three] Janet: Good job! Marty and Janet: Pats for Patrick! [Both laugh as Patrick looks annoyed] Patrick: I'll go get the beverages. [Patrick leaves, then comes back with a tray with three drinks on it] Marty: Wow, son! You put the drinks in something this time! Ah, son, you must've been working all night to put these together for us. Janet and Marty: We love you! [Both kiss Patrick as he looks even more annoyed and groans] Patrick: [Doorbell rings] Hooray, the idiot's here! I mean, I'll get it! [Outside, SpongeBob is putting on his karate helmet] SpongeBob: Protective helmet, check. Gary: Meow. SpongeBob: I'm supposed to look stupid, Gary! Gary: Meow? [Goes back to SpongeBob's house] SpongeBob: What could go wrong? [Patrick's rock opens] Patrick: What a surprise! SpongeBob: Hi. Patrick: Mom, Dad, meet my neighbor, SpongeBob! SpongeBob: Hi. Marty: Hello there! Janet: How do you do? SpongeBob: Hi. [Walks to Patrick's parents] Marty: Put 'er there. [SpongeBob puts a doll on his hand] Doll: Mama! Mama! Patrick: He means "shake". [SpongeBob shakes his entire body]No, SpongeBob, no! Shake hands! [SpongeBob shakes both his hands]No, SpongeBob! Grab my dad's hand. [Puts both his hands and his left leg on Marty's hand] Grab it with only one hand! [Puts his left leg and hand down] Good boy! Now move your arm up and down! [He moves his shoulder up and down. Patrick giggles] Janet: So, SpongeBob. Do you live nearby? SpongeBob: Hi. Patrick: No, SpongeBob. Show them your house! [SpongeBob pulls up his pants and reveals a blouse]No, not your blouse! Your house! [SpongeBob screams and runs over to his house. He runs into the shell and gets stuck] Janet: He lives in a fruit? Marty: That's unhealthy. Patrick: [Giggling] Hey, SpongeBob! You wanna stay for dinner? [SpongeBob babbles like an idiot. Later, Patrick, Marty and Janet are watching television while eating TV dinners] Marty: Does he always do that after he eats? Patrick: Only on Wednesday. [Pan over to SpongeBob pushing his nose to reveal his underwear. When he lets go, his pants pull up by themselves. This is repeated a few times. SpongeBob makes an alarm sound after that. Patrick giggles] Marty: [Starts giggling with Patrick]Uh, Patrick, I think your friend might be broken. Patrick: Yeah. And it would take more than some masking tape to fix that guy. [SpongeBob balances on his nose while making a fire truck siren sound. Makes other various sounds] Marty: Whoa! Is he gonna be okay? Patrick: Oh, that's nothing. [Dolphin chirping] You should see him in the morning prancing around yelling "I'm ready! I'm ready! I'm rea!" [Rooster crows] He drives all the neighbors crazy! [Horn] Why, just the other day, our neighbor Squidward was--- [SpongeBob jumps backwards over Patrick, Janet and Marty while making an elephant trumpet sound, then he crashes on the floor]. ---was really no help for him. [SpongeBob makes imprints of himself on the walls while making horn sounds] I mean, look at the way he's dressed. Only somebody with holes drilled in their head would wear that stuff! And how about his shape! I mean, I've heard of barrel-chested, but never box-chested! [Janet, Marty and Patrick laugh. SpongeBob frowns]Hey, SpongeBob do you have any mascara I could borrow? [Makes his eyebrows sound like elastic rubber bands] Marty: [Chuckles] The boy wears make-up? Janet: What a card! [Everyone laughs, except SpongeBob, who's now very annoyed] SpongeBob: [Confused] Hey, Patrick! Patrick! Patrick: Aw, he said my name. Marty: Wow, how'd you train him to do that? [SpongeBob is mad. He bites Patrick's finger] Patrick: Ow! He bit me! SpongeBob: Patrick, meet me in the kitchen! Patrick: Oh, I guess the dummy wants to have a private conversation. [Janet and Marty laugh] A dumb one! [They laugh again, as SpongeBob and Patrick enter the kitchen] So, what's on your mind? Oh, wait, I already know the answer. Nothing! [Patrick laughs very hard] See, that's funny. 'Cause your dumb! SpongeBob: Patrick, could you let up on the insults just a little bit? Patrick: Oh, were those too complicated for you? I'll try dumbing them down a bit. SpongeBob: Patrick, I get the feeling that you think I really am dumb! [glances at Patrick's t-shirt, "I'M WITH THE DUMMY" with an arrow pointing towards SpongeBob] Patrick: That's just what I'd expect you to say. Dumb people are always blissfully unaware of how dumb they really are. [Patrick drools] SpongeBob: I'm only pretending to be dumb! It was our plan, remember! Patrick: Oh, SpongeBob, if only you could see how stupid you sound right now, with your talk of imaginary plans. Tell you what. You've caught me at a good mood. I'll humor you. Go on, go out there and act "smart" for everyone. SpongeBob: Ok, I will! [Takes off his helmet] Patrick: [Puts on helmet] And don't worry, I'll keep this warm for ya! SpongeBob: [In front of Janet and Marty, clears throat] I have a confession to make. I lied about being stupid. I just acted like a fool so you would appreciate Patrick a little bit more. I know how to talk, and eat, and do laundry. I even separate the darks from the lights. So what do you say we start over and try again? Hi! My name is SpongeBob SquarePants. And I am not a dummy. Marty: [laughs] Amazing! Three minutes in the kitchen and our son has taught him to talk in complete sentences. Oh, good work, son! Patrick: It wasn't easy, dad. SpongeBob: [sputtering] But... but, but, but, but, but, but... Janet: It looks like it's time for your next lesson, young man! SpongeBob: Now, listen to me! I'm not dumb! I have a brain! See, here's a picture of it! [He shows them a small picture of his brain] Patrick: That must be actual size. [All laugh] SpongeBob: No! It's normal size and fully functional, watch. [Writes on Patrick's chalkboard] 2 plus 2 equals 4. Marty: Hoho, son! You taught him math too! SpongeBob:Nooooooooooooooooooooooo!!! Marty: And you taught him to sing! [SpongeBob is blabbering and sputtering] Oh, now he's short-circuiting! You must have taught him a little too much. [SpongeBob imagines them all laughing hard. Marty and Janet look at each other and laugh; then they all do the can-can. He imagines the three popping out of SpongeBob's pores. SpongeBob is inside Janet, who is laughing, inside Marty, who is also laughing, inside Patrick, who is also laughing, inside his eye. SpongeBob screams and runs through the wall outside, running all the way back home] Marty: You know, son, I've always known that when it comes to brightness, well, you're about a three-watt. But this guy! He's a wet match in a dark cave. He makes phone operators seem smart! [clears his throat] But more importantly, son, he's shown me what a sharp, quick-witted boy you've become. [Hugs him] Ha! I feel like I'm really meeting you for the first time. Isn't that right, Janet? Janet: You bet, Marty! Patrick: [His eyes widen] Janet? Marty? Who are you people?! Janet: Marty! I'm scared! [Doorbell rings, then the rock opens up. Squidward, Herb and Margie are outside his rock] Squidward: Excuse me. Does this lovely couple belong to you? They've been standing outside my house saying "Where's Patrick?" all day! It's driving me nuts! Patrick: Mom! Dad! Herb: Wow, son! You actually recognized us this time. Margie: And you remembered to get dressed today! [Patrick, Herb and Margie laugh] Marty: Oh, that's right, honey. We don't have a son. Janet: Oh yeah! [Both walk away. Patrick and his parents laugh as their rock closes over them] 👀👀👍👍👍👀👀 nice 👌👌stuff 👀👀👀 ✔️thats some ™™™ nice 👨🏻 stuff 👨🏻👨🏻 ® (cool ) 👌👌👌👌👌 niiiiiiiiiii👌ce 👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌👀👌 stuff that is some nice ✔️ass✔️stuff👀 ya got there ✔️ congrats 🎉 on the nice👍👍👍STUFF👍👍👌✔️👀✔️👀 👍👍 👀✔️™ nice 👌 shut the FUCK up 👎👀👎👀👎👀👎👀👎👀 bull SHIT bülł sHit 👎 thats 🚫 some bull shit👎👎 right👎👎th 👎ere👎👎👎right🚫there 🚫🚫if i do say so my self❌ i say so❌ thats fucking horrible right there right there (chorus: ʳᶦᵍʰᵗ fucking ᵗʰᵉʳᵉ) UGHHHHH❌ 👎👎 👎B0ОଠＯOOOОଠଠOoooᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒᵒ👎👎👎 👎 ❌ 👎 👀 👀 👀 👎👎BAD SHIT DO IT, just DO IT! Don't let your dreams be dreams. Yesterday, you said tomorrow. So just. DO IT! Make. your dreams. COME TRUE! Just... do it! Some people dream of success, while you're gonna wake up and work HARD at it! NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE!You should get to the point where anyone else would quit, and you're not gonna stop there. NO! What are you waiting for? ... DO IT! Just... DO IT! Yes you can! Just do it! If you're tired of starting over, stop. giving. up. >le maymay arrow is this a le new epic meme? screen kapped for dat sweet karma xD. FUS ROH DAH!!!!!1 i used to be a christmas but then i took an arrow 2 da knee :^( BAZINGA BAZINGA ZIMBABWE. top kek, toppest of keks. le nyan cat? hahahaha le mayonaise. fucking epic ass meme i love that fucking meme so much man wait let me just *gets crack pipe out* smoke some of that good 420 shit :) *rips a bong* AHHHHHHHHH YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that sure hit the spot ok now repeat that fucking epic ass M E M E WHATA FUCK MAN xD i just fall of my chair cuz i couldnt and i CANT stop laughXXXXXX DDDDDD OMGOSH DDDDD XXXXX DDDDD DDDDDD LOOOOOOOLLLLL FUCKIN HOLY SHITTTT I CANT JUST STOP LAUGHING CAUSE HE HE HE HE HE JUST TO FUNNY MAN!!!1!11! GOOD MEME SORRY I MEAN GREAT MEME EPIC MEMEING /b/ro BAZINGA BAZINGA BAZINGAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA ZIMBABWE is this a le new epic meme? screen kapped for dat sweet karma xD. FUS ROH DAH!!!!!1 i used to be a christmas but then i took an arrow 2 da knee :^( BAZINGA BAZINGA ZIMBABWE. top kek, toppest of keks. le nyan cat? hahahaha le mayonaise. fucking epic ass meme i love that fucking meme so much man wait let me just gets crack pipe out smoke some of that good 420 shit :) rips a bong AHHHHHHHHH YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that sure hit the spot ok now repeat that fucking epic ass M E M E I'm Squirting Pure Mio Water Flavoring Into My Mouth And Walking Around With Swiffer WetJets Taped To My Shoes I Don't Give A Fuck Damn About Society You Know What? I'm Going To Write A Song About How Bad I Want To Fight You, And Once It Makes A Lot Of Money, I'm Going To Buy A Plane Ticket And Come To Your House And I'm Going To Break All Of Your Electronic Devices, You God Damn Pincushion. Okay, first of all, FUCK your fandom and FUCK your bullshit fandom politics. I know you’re not going to like this but I don’t care and before you start thinking about flaming me my ask box has anonymous off so you’re going to listen to what I have to say. Monica would be a firebender, I think that’s one thing we all agree on. Now is where you’re going to hate me. Phoebe and Joey would both be airbenders. Now before you start flipping a shit let me just say this: go fuck yourself. Ross would be an earthbender and Rachel would be a waterbender. I KNOW THIS INTERFERES WITH THE SHIP. I DON’T CARE, FUCK YOUR SHIP AND FUCK YOU. And Chandler? Chandler would be a nonbender. I know it hurts but it’s true. I have watched every episode of the show and all of his actions lead me to believe the creators envisioned him as a nonbender from the start. Disagree? FUCK YOU. What the fuck did you just fucking say about me, you little bitch? I’ll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Navy Seals, and I’ve been involved in numerous secret raids on Al-Quaeda, and I have over 300 confirmed kills. I am trained in gorilla warfare and I’m the top sniper in the entire US armed forces. You are nothing to me but just another target. I will wipe you the fuck out with precision the likes of which has never been seen before on this Earth, mark my fucking words. You think you can get away with saying that shit to me over the Internet? Think again, fucker. As we speak I am contacting my secret network of spies across the USA and your IP is being traced right now so you better prepare for the storm, maggot. The storm that wipes out the pathetic little thing you call your life. You’re fucking dead, kid. I can be anywhere, anytime, and I can kill you in over seven hundred ways, and that’s just with my bare hands. Not only am I extensively trained in unarmed combat, but I have access to the entire arsenal of the United States Marine Corps and I will use it to its full extent to wipe your miserable ass off the face of the continent, you little shit. If only you could have known what unholy retribution your little “clever” comment was about to bring down upon you, maybe you would have held your fucking tongue. But you couldn’t, you didn’t, and now you’re paying the price, you goddamn idiot. I will shit fury all over you and you will drown in it. You’re fucking dead, kiddo. hi every1 im new!!!!!!! holds up spork my name is katy but u can call me t3h PeNgU1N oF d00m!!!!!!!! lol…as u can see im very random!!!! thats why i came here, 2 meet random ppl like me _… im 13 years old (im mature 4 my age tho!!) i like 2 watch invader zim w/ my girlfreind (im bi if u dont like it deal w/it) its our favorite tv show!!! bcuz its SOOOO random!!!! shes random 2 of course but i want 2 meet more random ppl =) like they say the more the merrier!!!! lol…neways i hope 2 make alot of freinds here so give me lots of commentses!!!! DOOOOOMMMM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! <--- me bein random again _^ hehe…toodles!!!!! love and waffles, Getting salt from gamer boys in my inbox. Listen up turd turrets, I WANTED to just play video games, I WANTED to just have fun, I NEVER wanted my gaming to be political or a struggle, I just wanted to play. But you wouldn’t fucking let me, you brought up my gender, you judged me based on it, YOU made it political. So now I WILL wreck everything with my fucking feminism, I am the feminist nightmare you fucking created. Witness me. you guys we gotta hurry i just got back from walmart theyre selling nintendo 3DS systems for $149.99 on sale plus every time you buy one you get a $50 gift card brings the total price down to $110 after tax NOW LISTEN we can flip those sons of bitches for 230 bucks a piece EASY they’re all limited edition zelda ones! HURRY hurry come with me! We can be rich and also i’ll get to keep one and we can play NINTENDO GAMES nintendo give me free stuff 14 years ago ⬅️📅today⬇️, the episode 📺✨”Band Geeks”✨📯🏉🇺🇸🎸🎷🎺🎤 of spongebob🌕▫️🐙🐚🐳 👔👖🍔🍟 squarepants came out😱📡. Our hero spongebob 🌕👔◽️👖 and his squad 🐙🐞🐚🐠🐟🐬🐳🍁 valiantly turnt up 🎉💥🔥💃 the bikini bottom bubble bowl 👙💘💭🍜🏉. Send 📲 this to 1⃣4⃣ other band geeks 👓👔. if u get 5⃣ back⬅️😄, it’s sweet 🍦🍩 sweet 🎂🍪 sweet 🍫🍭 victory 🎉🎊🎆 . If u get 0⃣😩 you are a #squilliam 🐙💢👎😰 Bring Tooth Ghost Pipe Hell Tooth Man To School With You. You Have No Other Choice. Bring Him. Feed Him Lies. He Will Crush The Nonbelievers. Listen To His Voice, Do You Hear His Song, O? Does He Cry? No. He Is Laughing. He Is Only Laughing. His Voice Is Fire. His Laugh Is Thunder. His Existence Is Forever. Fear Him. Love Him. He Is In Us all. Believe. Believe. Believe My OCHIN is gigantic, O.T.N is it's abbreviation It is mainly handled with things such as △○□× it serves combined use for men and woman Recently, a portable style that disassembles became possible All kinds of OCHIN have come into circulation Remove the portable-type OCHIN, so there aren't a lot of lost cases I advise you keep the lock nice and tight Furthermore, be careful because OCHIN as a so-called sex symbol is completely different Again, the above text is completely appropriate I actually met Guy Fieri at a restaurant once - we’d accidentally been given his table. Apparently he was fond of the restaurant and had a specific table he liked, and the management had messed up and gotten their days wrong, (it was Tuesday and they thought he was coming on Thursday or something like that). Anyway, the manager, completely embarrassed (this is a pretty nice restaurant) comes by and says “I’m so sorry, but we’d like to move you to another table if you could be troubled, and we’ll gladly compensate you for the cost of the meal and any other meal you’d like while you’re in town.” My sister and cousin were both like “Yeah that’s cool.” and I kind of played the asshole a bit. “I’m sorry, I just don’t understand. We’ve been here for 15 minutes - we’ve just ordered. Can’t we finish our meal here?” Then out of nowhere Guy Fieri shows up next to the manager and says “Paul, these guys can finish. We’ll be at the bar. I got some time.” And I (being a big Diners, Drive-Ins, and Dives fan) said “Oh wow, uh… I had no idea. Please feel free to give them the table.” Guy was grateful, shook my hand and said thanks, then gave me a card with his number on it and told me to give him a call later. After working up the nerve, I gave him a call that night, and to make a long story short, we had a glorious 11 month love affair, man on man, that I shall never forget. Our bodies intertwined as one, and from the beauty of Morocco, to the French Riviera, to the snorkeling in the Galopagos, Guy Fieri and I made glorious gay love to each other on six of the seven continents. Our MURDERCUBE, who art intangible,
hollow-pointed be your name.
Thy kingdom come,
Thine will be Gun,
on earth, as it is in /k/
Give us this day our daily Nugget,
and forgive us our 9mm vs .45 threads,
as we also have forgiven our Nogunz brethren.
And lead us not into Taurus,
but deliver us from Kimber.
For thine is the ‘PING!’-gun,
The Mauser,
and the Glory
Forever, and ever
Amen Ave Nex Alea; War is the way of Man; Man is the means of war; the Murder/k/ube allows us war; our worship is our readiness. Saluto Nex Alea. You know who/what is “on fleek?” Jesus. My Savior. My Love. My Ultimate Hero. Jesus is on fleek. The Catholic Church is on fleek. It is on point. It points us to our True North – Heaven – Jesus. Our Blessed Mother is on fleek. She is on point. Her ultimate job is to bring us to her Son – Our Savior – Our Love – Our Ultimate Hero. Thinking of the slang, “on fleek,” I started to think about as a working Catholic wife and mom, what things are on fleek in my life. I came up with a top 5: 1. Father. Son. Holy Spirit. They are on fleek. 2. My Family. So extremely grateful to be the wife and mom in my family. Straight up on point. 3. My job. Even with some of the difficulties I have balancing it with being a momma, I am extremely GRATEFUL to the Lord that He has entrusted me with this responsibility. Definitely leading to my holiness – so, yes, on fleek. 4. The faith community to which we belong. First, the Catholic faith in general – 2000 years old. So on fleek. Then, the particular parish we belong to – St. John the Baptist Catholic Church in Brusly, Louisiana. It’s a small little Cajun town right outside of Baton Rouge. The people are real, filled with love, and completely community centered. On Fleek. 5. The Saints. Those who have gone before us, filled with the Holy Spirit, the faith, and an incredibly awesome love of Christ and His precepts. They are like my “on fleek” gang of intercessors! On point, on point, on point. Мы начинаем наше космическое путешествие в те времена, когда трава была зеленее и музыка прекраснее, когда еще не было плохой музыки, дабы вернуть давно утерянную формулу хорошей музыки. Рассекая пространство и время, мы слышим звуки божественной музыки, в которой каждая нота находится на своем месте. Кажется нечто подобное испытывают люди когда слушают альбомы Sigur Ros, некое блаженное чувтсво. Это состояние невозможно описать, трудно уловить и легко потерять, но удивительно, на всем протяжении нашего путешествия оно все усиливается и усиливается. В окне иллюминатора пролетают все самые значимые музыкальные и исторические вехи в истории. Важна уже не конечная точка прибытия, а само путешествие, потому что стремление - вот самое главное в нашей жизни, достигнув определенной точки нам обязательно захочется продолжить путешествие дальше. Честно говоря я уже не знаю где мы находимся, достигли мы того самого места? И где это место? Скорее всего мы улетели намного дальше, за пределы пространства времени. Неужели мы так и не нашли формулы? неужели все напрасно? Наше путешествие - вот та самая формула, точнее одна из ее композиций, собранная из обрывков воспоминаний. Вычислить ее невозможно, но нам крупно повезло и мы стали редкими счастливчиками которым открылась одна из идеальных музыкальных композиций. Сможем ли мы когда-нибудь повторить это путешествие… возможно не скоро, но когда-нибудь обязательно, а пока нужно вернуться на землю и передать человечеству данные собранные нашими датчиками. Мы не настолько умны чтобы из полученных данных вычислить формулу, но зато у нас появилась одна из композиций сгенерированных этой идеальной формулой. Так правильно, ведь если бы человечество обладало “ключем” ни к чему хорошему это не привело бы. My baby he don't talk sweet, He ain't got much to say But he loves me loves me loves me, I know that he loves me anyway And maybe he don't dress fine, But I don't really mind 'Cause every time he pulls me near, I just want to cheer Let's hear it for the boy Let's give the boy a hand Let's hear it for my baby, You know you gotta understand Oh, maybe he's no Romeo, But he's my lovin' one man show Whoa whoa whoa whoa Let's hear it for the boy My baby may not be rich, He's watchin' every dime But he loves me loves me loves me, We always have a real good time And maybe he sings off key, But that's alright by me, yeah 'Cause what he does he does so well, Makes me wanna yell Let's hear it for the boy Oh, let's give the boy a hand Let's hear it for my baby, You know you gotta understand Oh, maybe he's no Romeo, But he's my lovin' one man show Whoa whoa whoa whoa Let's hear it for the boy 'Cause every time he pulls me near, I just want to cheer Let's hear it for the boy Oh, let's give the boy a hand Let's hear it for my baby, You know you gotta understand Oh, maybe he's no Romeo, But he's my lovin' one man show Whoa whoa whoa whoa Let's hear it for the boy Let's hear it for my man (Let's hear it for my babe) Let's hear it my man (Let's hear it for the boy) (Let's hear it for my babe) (Let's hear it for the boy) Let's hear it for my man (Let's hear it for my babe) (Let's hear it for the boy) Pull yourself together (Let's hear it for my babe) (Let's hear it for the boy) Whoa let's hear it for my boy (Let's hear it for my babe) Let's hear it for my man (Let's hear it for the boy) (Let's hear it for my babe) Let's it for my man There lived a certain man in Russia long ago He was big and strong, in his eyes a flaming glow Most people looked at him with terror and with fear But to Moscow chicks he was such a lovely dear He could preach the bible like a preacher Full of ecstacy and fire But he also was the kind of teacher Women would desire RA RA RASPUTIN Lover of the Russian queen There was a cat that really was gone RA RA RASPUTIN Russia's greatest love machine It was a shame how he carried on He ruled the Russian land and never mind the Czar But the kasachok he danced really wunderbar In all affairs of state he was the man to please But he was real great when he had a girl to squeeze For the queen he was no wheeler dealer Though she'd heard the things he'd done She believed he was a holy healer Who would heal her son RA RA RASPUTIN Lover of the Russian queen There was a cat that really was gone RA RA RASPUTIN Russia's greatest love machine It was a shame how he carried on [Spoken:] But when his drinking and lusting and his hunger for power became known to more and more people, the demands to do something about this outrageous man became louder and louder. "This man's just got to go!" declared his enemies But the ladies begged "Don't you try to do it, please" No doubt this Rasputin had lots of hidden charms Though he was a brute they just fell into his arms Then one night some men of higher standing Set a trap, they're not to blame "Come to visit us" they kept demanding And he really came RA RA RASPUTIN Lover of the Russian queen They put some poison into his wine RA RA RASPUTIN Russia's greatest love machine He drank it all and he said "I feel fine" RA RA RASPUTIN Lover of the Russian queen They didn't quit, they wanted his head RA RA RASPUTIN Russia's greatest love machine And so they shot him till he was dead [Spoken:] Oh, those Russians... I had this friend who used to brag to us all the time that he could catch his cum in his mouth without fail every time he masturbated. He actually wrote down how many times he successfully did it. 327. I’ll never forget that number. And every day at school, he would talk about this. It was always during lunch my sophomore year of high school, too..so it was extremely unnecessary. He used to always try to demonstrate his techniques with packets of mayonnaise but we’d always threaten to move tables so he’d stop. He was really one of those people who needed attention constantly. Aside from those times at lunch, he was a completely normal dude. Like…even after class we’d ask him about that stuff and be like “dude, what was with that cum stuff at lunch,” and he’d always look at us like we were crazy and say “what the hell are you talking about?” I’ll never forget that classmate. His great personality will always be remember but his perplexing obsession with catching his own ejaculate in his mouth will live on forever at my previous high school. He was a one of a kind guy. His name was Norman Reedus. Don't u ever ever fucken send me any thing like this again. U r so ignored. U will be so sorry one day. But u don't even know it yet. That pride of yours u think u know everything but u know shit. Your have really pissed me off. One day u will say. Wow Mom was right but it will be to late for u then. Fucken no all. I will not help u with ur hair or anything else so done ask!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I want to throw u out off my property. You r the most disrespectful little bitch I know. Don't ever disrespect my 'Lord' to me again. U and Chris will be able to talk to each other in Hell. Hey nightcore-ers. This is Mod Angel. Recently I have gone through a complete change of lifestyle and want to be referred to Mod Priscilla Valkyrie the Fallen Angel. Anyways, I’ve decided that nightcore isn’t enough so I will also be posting breakcore and dubstep remixes that sound nightcorey Yep. This right here is probably one of the best things I've ever heard. Honestly, it is. Every song i listen to now in my waking moments is nightcore remixes, full albums especially but its hard to find mixes for them all so sometimes i speed things up myself, I admit, because I just really like it so much better when its sped up 3000x. I usually do it in my offtime and it also helps me be more creative and inventive in my musical style as an artist. It really adds something different to the music and makes it so much better. So yeah. That's my two cents as a proud nightcore listener/artist

Teacher/student AU - ereri week day #2

Another thing happened. God, I think I got carried away with the messages part of the OS? Sorry, but it was really fun to write!!

Rating: General Audience

Fandom: Shingeki no Kyojin

Pairing: Eren Jaeger/Levi Ackerman

Word count: 1727

Additional tags: Alternative Universe - Modern Setting, College Professor!Eren, Student!Levi, College AU, Teacher/Student AU

Summary: One Shot for ereri summer week 2017, Teacher/Student AU

Holydays were always welcomed, but that year in particular they couldn’t have been sweeter than in any other time in his college career.   He usually didn’t move anywhere for the occasion -the dorms remained open and his house back in Trost mostly empty since he and his sister had been old enough to stay on their own. Now, the worst part of his friends had already abandoned the field to migrate back to their families. No Hanji, no Isabel, no Erwin -and that meant PCQ, damn Izzy for twisting his mind with those atrocious acronym. Peace. Calm. Quietness. Farlan still had work and thus couldn’t follow her to her parents’ house, so the both of them were stuck together for the rest of the year. Or so his friends believed. They didn’t know much about Levi’s plans, just that he was probably going to spend his free time between the library and his room, maybe to the bar where Farlan worked, too -Isabel had ordered her boyfriend to drag their mutual friend out of his dorm-hole any time he could-, but they were up for a surprise. Levi was, in fact, packing what he needed to spend his holydays elsewhere. He had waited specifically for them to be gone before delivering the news, so not to be present when hell would inevitably break loose. His phone kept dinging with incoming messages, and he simply checked his bag and stuff before deeming himself ready to go. He closed the door to his room with the key and descended the staircase, heading to the reception desk and nodding at Riko’s way. “I thought you were going to stay here. Going home, in the end?” “No. I’ll be in town, just not here.” “Mmh. Suspicious.” Levi rolled his eyes and didn’t offer a reply. Instead, he left his key on the desk and made his farewells, turning and exiting the building. He tightened almost immediately his hold on his scarf, shivering slightly. Winter was a bitch, and it came as a typhoon that year (it was probably worst there than in Winterfell, Jon Snow be damned), without giving people in the little Stohess time to adjust to the hard and sudden weather. Levi liked this season of the year, but only when he wasn’t forced to face it -preferably in his warm room, with a cup of tea and a book. He saw a bench and sat down, arranging his bag next to him and waiting for his lift to come. Looking down at the phone in his hand, he checked the group chat and got comfortable for what was to come. Shit for brains [09:27] Why our leprechaun is not answering?!?!?! Shit fro brains [09:27] Do you think he got lost in the city?!?! Maybe he is inside a snowman and some kid is keeping him prisoner!! Shit for brains [09:27] Squad Levi to the rescueeee Red pigtails [09:27] Hanji! Stop calling him that! You know how annoying he gets! He is going to be fine! Shit for brains [09:28] Buuuuuuuut Red pigtails [09:29] No. He can take care of himself. Red pigtails [09:29] More or less. Red pigtails [09:29] How is the Christmas tree’s decoration challenge turning out? Shit for brains [09:30] I know what you’re doing, Izzy. Shit for brains [09:30] Stop trying to manipulate my attention. Shit for brains [09:30] Now. Shit for brains [09:30] IT’S GREAT!! You should see it! Never has a Christmas tree had more photos hanging down from its branches than this! It’s beautiful! So many Erwin’s and Levi’s and Izzy’s and Farlan’s, you’re all so cute!! Red pigtails [09:31] Well, I guess you won. Shit for brains [09:31] Damn hell I did! 

Levi was not sure what he was reading, really. How were they his friends he still didn’t know.

Red pigtails [09:31] You should send us a photo! Shit for brains [09:32] I will when I’ll get home! Shit for brains [09:41] Do you think Farlan is with Levi already? Red pigtails [09:43] Hanji!! Stop torturing him! Shit for brains [09:43] I’m not “torturing him”, I’m worried! Red pigtails [09:43] We know you, you don’t just “get worried” over Levi. Shit for brains [09:43] But he is going to be alone! For Christmas! Red pigtails [09:43] Uuh… Shit for brains [09:44] Yes!! UUUH!! Red pigtails [09:44] Now I’m feeling like a shitty friend. Shit for brains [09:45] THAT’S WHAT I WAS TALKING ABOUT Shit for brains [09:45] WHAT HAVE WE DONNNNNNNNEEEEEEE Levi [09:45] I can hear your screams from here Shit for brains [09:45] LEVI!! MY BEAUTIFUL LITTLE DORK!! Red pigtails [09:45] Ehi there, big bro! We were talking about you! Levi [09:46] Yeah, I can tell Red pigtails [09:46] Sorry, you know how Hanji gets… Shit for brains [09:46] LEVI!! WHAT ARE YOU DOING Shit for brains [09:46] ARE YOU ALONE Shit for brains [09:46] IS EVERYTHING OKAY?! Levi [09:47] Yes, HANJI, please stop whining Levi [09:47] Actually Levi [09:47] I’m waiting for someone to pick me up Red pigtails [09:47] What Shit for brains [09:47] WHAT Shit for brains [09:47] WHAT Shit for brains [09:47] EXPLAAAAIN Shit for brains [09:47] OR ELSE I’LL BE YOUR PERSONAL DALEK Red pigtails [09:47] It can’t be Farlan, he is working Levi [09:47] It’s not Farlan Red pigtails [09:47] So Red pigtails [09:48] Big bro? Red pigtails [09:49] Levi? Shit for brains [09:51] LEVI I SWEAR TO GID IF YOU DON’T ANSWER I’M GOING TO GO BACK YO THE DORMS AND SPIT ON YOUR BED Levi [09:52] Jesus, you’re disgusting. I was on the phone. Levi [09:52] And watch you typing, moron. I’m going to spend the holydays with Eren Shit for brains [09:52] EREN? EREN, WHO’S EREN Red pigtails [09:52] Omg you didN’T Shit for brains [09:52] WHO’S EREN Shit for brains [09:52] I’M FEELING LEFT BEHIND Shit for brains [09:52] IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND Shit for brains [09:53] LEVI IS HE YOUR BOYFRIEND Shit for brains [09:53] I’M SO GOING TO SPIT PN YOUR BED Shit for brains [09:53] ON*  Red pigtails [09:53] Levi tell me you didn’t Red pigtails [09:53] I thought you were jocking!! Shit for brains [09:53] EXPLAIN NOW I’M GOING MAD HERE Red pigtails [09:53] Eren as in Professor Jaeger Red pigtails [09:53] He told me he was going to confess but Red pigtails [09:54] I didn’t think he was for real!!!!!  Shit for brains [09:54] OH MY GGGGGGGGGGGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDD Shit for brains [09:54] YOU. DIDN’T. Caterpies [09:54] What’s going on here? Shit for brains [09:54] ERWIN Shit for brains [09:54] THANK GOD Shit for brains [09:54] SDKGPOSJKDPOGJHSR Red pigtails [09:54] I feel betrayed Shit for brains [09:54] LEVI IS GOING TO SPEBD THE HOLUDAYS WITH HIS PEOFESSOR Red pigtails [09:54] How could you not tell us?!?! ME?!!!???!   Shit for brains [09:54] SPEND* Shit for brains [09:55] HOLYDAYS* Shit for brains [09:55] PROFWSSOR* Shit for brains [09:55] PROFESSOR* Shit for brains [09:55] SHIT Red pigtails [09:55] I can’t believe it Caterpies [09:55] Levi? Is that true? Levi [09:55] Mh Shit for brains [09:56] YOU TRAITOR Shit for brains [09:56] HOW COME YOU WAITED SO LONG TO TROLL US?!?! Shit for brains [09:56] TELL* Caterpies [09:56] I think he did it on purpose, so that we couldn’t say anything to him in person. Red pigtails [09:56] OF COURSE HE DID Red pigtails [09:56] BIG BRO Red pigtails [09:56] YOU SO DON’T WANT TO SEE ME RIGHT KNOW Red pigtails [09:56] I’M GOING TO KILL YOU Caterpies [09:57] Can someone send me a photo of this Professor of his? Caterpies [09:57] Is he much older than you, Levi? Levi [09:57] Not by much. He is 31. Red pigtails [09:57] AND HE IS HOT. LEVI HAS BEEN DROOLING ON HIM FOR YEARS. Levi [09:57] He is not my professor anymore, you know Shit for brains [09:57] SO YOU JUMPED ON HIM? Levi [09:57] Pretty much, yeah Red pigtails [09:58] Omg! Shit for brains [09:58] OMG!!!!!!! Caterpies [09:58] Mh, congratulations? Levi [09:58] Thanks. Gotta go, he’s here. Shit for brains [09:58] WERE THE FUCK DO YOU THINJ YOU’RE GOING Red pigtails [09:58] YOU JUST NEED TO TRY… Shit for brains [09:58] COME BACK HERE Shit for brains [09:58] LEVI Red pigtails [09:58] DON’T SHUT YOUR PHONE ON US LIKE THIS, YOU DUMBASS!! Caterpies [09:58] Have fun, I guess! 

Levi hid a smile behind his scarf and turned his phone in silent mode, putting it into his bag when he saw Eren’s car stop in front of the dorms. He opened the passenger door and got in, slamming it almost immediately to preserve the pleasant warmth of the vehicle. He turned around and found the older man staring at him with a calm smile, eyes boring into his with too much intensity and nervousness for the distance between them. “Hi.” “Hi to you. You’re early.” “Barely, just a couple of minutes. Besides, you were already waiting outside.” “What can I say, I was impatient.” Eren grinned at him. “To see me?” Levi wanted to retort with some kind of joke, and as much as he loved playing with Eren’s occasional naivety, I didn’t want to ruin the moment. “That and spending the following two weeks in a real apartment.” “I knew you were after my wealth, jeez.” “It’s not like you’re rich, stupid. If anything, I’m after your body.” “That’s for sure.” “Mmh.” Levi leaned over the console and raised his arms toward Eren, running his hands along the dark green button down’s collar, over his shoulder in a slow, teasing caress, then down on his chest, following his own movements with his eyes, before stopping on his hips. He looked up, smiling at the ardent, breath-consuming gaze Eren was giving him, charging the air around them with a well-known electricity to the couple. ”Are you testing me?” ”Not really. And anyway, it’s not like I would even have to try that hard.” ”True.” Pulling back, Levi’s hand brushed Eren’s crotch and he heard the sudden intake of breath of the older one. He feigned indifference. “Let’s go, before I do something very, very stupid in front of my job place and get fired for it.” Levi’s lips curved upward. “We wouldn’t want that, yeah. Let’s go.” Eren breathed in sharply, then turned toward the wheel and started the car. Waiting for the holydays had been hell, but Levi was finally ready for heaven to come and stay for two, blissful weeks.

“No Small Affair”

-an odd, wonderful, joyous teen comedy that resonates quite well, even over patches of sparseness

-it lingers in the mind due to the strong direction and especially the magnificent, tender cinematography

-no surprise, as the main character is a photographer, and there is a warm blanket of nostalgia by both the writer, director, and cinematographer

-I actually really really enjoyed Jon cryer’s acting here, he plays a earnest vulnerability surrounded by a wall of faux cynical protection

-nice bit with all the frame with a frame as cryer’s character tries to photograph moments of empty space and animals, +he wearily notes how he cannot stand humans

-I can’t tell if his character’s voice over narration was part of the original intent, or a boardroom note. +It comes off as unintentionally clumsy in the first twenty minutes or so (as does the music)

-I laugh as I see cryer’s father figure(really step father) is played by Jeffry tambour. He really filled in that niche early, didn’t he?

-funny bit where cryer talks to his mom about his brother bringing home another fiancé, which leads them to argue about whether or not he is just saying that so he can sleep with them with impunity

-great visual moment where Cryer notices that he accidentally did snap a shot of a human and, more shockingly, he likes her. +He then proceeds to blow up several photos of her, assembling them in his wall like a giant jigsaw piece

-the mysterious woman is played by Demi Moore, who handles the role with good cheer

-I must stress that cryer’s character is 16, and combined with his numbness to his family (and those feelings coming out obtusely) this makes clear why cryer does certain acts but does not condone them

-Tim Robbins plays a wanna be punk dork, and he has his moments

-cryer is getting TV eyed by this nerdy girl who loves arcade games with coke sized glasses, and her thirst is palpable

-personally I think this girl is way more of a catch than Demi moore’s character, but there is no accounting for taste

-the fact that she’s played by Jennifer Tilly at the dawn of her jaw dropping beauty and attitude doesn’t hurt

-ok, now cryer’s brother and his fiancé is revealed and she is played by Elizabeth Daily (“Dottie” from pee wee, the singer of the title song of “Better Off Dead”) +this director has an eye for interesting and stunning women

-Demi Moore is finally found, and she is a singer in a band, reminding me of that early tori amos album where she did all that hair metal/“material girl” stuff that just didn’t suit her

-cryer’s brother is a tall glass of knucklehead with a thin layer of good hearted slobbering dog

-cryer’s awkwardness is like a beacon in the night

-there is an odd subtext of cryer’s character being a minor wandering in strange lands he shouldn’t

-the next day he goes back to the bar and overhears Moore arguing with her guitarists; perplexing moment where the guitarist says he is too old at 28 for bands and if he doesn’t make it young, he’s out the game (I call chickenshit)

-Moore goes to the aquarium to see a tumor fish to calm down

-cryer ingratiates himself to Moore in a bewildering way

-cryer’s brother has a bachelor party where they all buy him an escort; leading him to drolly note “there’s only one room in this apartment; where we gonna do it?”

-so cryer takes a under aged drink (first of many) and suggests they go see Moore sing

-the escort is touched by this tells cryer he can have her

-cryer’s blushing is a thing of beauty

-this is definitely a 70’s vibe where pretty much anything goes,

-cryer is too shy but meekly asks for a hug; the escorts laugh and adds “now that is a first”

- cryer’s mom catches them (they hilariously share a pillow to cover themselves-although cryer is still wearing underwear) and the escort excuses herself + kids in the 80’s got away with everything

-cryer boyishly finds Moore again and tries to connect more

-I don’t believe for a second Moore finds anything of loving value in cryer, but I do believe she loves the attention-the desire to be loved as a icon; in turn he can only appreciate her on a surface level + this disconnected relationship gives the film a unique emotional registry

-Moore follows cryer to school and wants to be photographed again, shocking his classmates

-again, cryer ignores the cauldron of lust that is Jennifer Tilly’s arcade girl, and I just gotta wonder why

-what is tambour even talking about with being a dope smoking kid who grew up? I find this a pretty accurate summation of a certain group of people who can’t accept they aren’t hip anymore. Pretty funny

-I also laugh at the fact the owner of the bar Moore plays at is acted by George Wendt, who did a pretty gotdamn similar role in TV. +I guess bar crawls are a mixed media thing

-this 80’s montage is one of the very, very best I have seen; the great cinematographer Vilmos Zsigmund is texturing every shot in this film with outstanding lighting and angles + it parts the oceans to let the synth music land like a ufo

-funny spot where cryer is trying to take moore’s picture, but a couple asks for a photo of them, so in one long double speed shot cryer runs around and takes twenty shots of them +kinda reminds me of “A Clockwork Orange” or “Benny Hill”

-in one of the best sequences of the whole film, cryer and moore crash a wedding for free food and drink; while she’s in the bathroom cryer is accosted by the father who demands money +his sputtering is a joy to behold

-cryer gets Moore to sing, and she totally slows down his style to do a cover of a old standard, essentially turning into a 80’s Norah jones

-this is where the film really gets cooking, this pause and abstraction shows that even with the robo music, there was a artistic bent to directors in 80’s films if they had the courage to pursue it

-this is definitely one of the most 80’s films I have ever seen; I mean that as a compliment

-in that it is a series of escapades, very loosely connected, but also surprising and varied

-in a move wholly surprising and seemingly out of a young banksy, cryer takes all his money (six grand) and has his photos of her plastered on every cab in the Bay Area

-this leads to my favorite line in the film “I’ve learned that you may be disappointed by people’s humanity, but never by their greed”

-Moore is getting all kinds of sketchy calls, realizes what happens, then freaks out and finds cryer at French class

-the French teaching is both irked and delighted at being told to fuck off in French

-cryer’s reasoning is so perfectly adolescent, and so starkly sad in his inability to differentiate true feelings and obsessions

-so after they part he goes to drink himself to death

-Moore is talked back into singing at her old bar (people are waiting around the block to see her) and she stuns then with her throaty renditions of older songs, perhaps proving people don’t want a new drug, just one in a newer suit

-I’d call bullshit but every five years some other sparkling turd carries on the baton + thus proving “same as it ever was”

-cryer has a trash bag apparel, to die like the garbage he feels he is

-thank gawd “Dottie” is here to take slobbering dog brother to find him, and then slobber bro breaks his foot on the bike

-funny jump cut to said foot

-as cryer finds out that Moore “loves” him he goes back to her apartment (which I neglected to mention is bohemian to the extreme) where she tells him thank you, and now she must go to Los Angeles

-cryer comes off as rather small here for selfishly wanting her, but, again, he is sixteen and has no healthy emotional support

-this clearly didn’t blip as a problem at the time, but now moore’s young twenties character is clearly doing statutory assault

-but I guess it’s love (or something approaching it) so sure why not

-ok, funniest moment of the film, where cryer (in bed next to Moore) calls his mom(in bed next to tambour) and says he won’t be coming home tonight +tambour says to say goodnight and then takes the phone and says “good job, son”

-like he knew without ever seeing it; he just had a hunch

-this is the first time I’ve ever seen a couple naked in bed calling another (let alone older) couple naked in bed + usually it’s a lawyer or some shit

-a long lingering look at each other in a airport, then off forever

-why am I getting recollection of “la la land”?

-so this airport has a arcade

-cryer remembers his brother saying that “love only happens once, but sex washes off” (source?)

-so, finally, (and with one more montage to establish all her past horniness) cryer goes to Tilly’s arcade girl to see if he can gobble her ms pac man fruit

-this is a very kitsch, offbeat teen humored film that is a series of escapades; there is a weird alternatively randy and sentimental vibe that permeates it; it’s also a blast and I can’t recommend it enough

Princess and the Frog Egobang AU

EDIT: ((This was a list of ideas I had before writing the AU. Some things have changed between the writing of this list and the actual writing of the AU. Also may be some spoilers if you haven’t already read it! Read at your own risk.)

Obvious we’ve got Arin as Tiana and Dan as Prince Naveen

Instead of being a prince, Dan’s a celebrity musician and he’s in town to perform at Mardi Gras.

Dan’s bandmate is Brian who is envious of Dan’s natural magnetism with women

Arin’s best friend since they were itty bitty kiddies is Suzy, she’s a huge fan of Dan’s band and her father has pulled strings so that she’ll get to be the Mardi Gras queen with Dan as king, just to fulfill his precious daughter’s dreams

Arin’s working as a waiter not in order to build his own restaurant, but in order to pay the bills while struggling as an artist. Suzy knows how talented he is an encourages him to participate in art shows but he doesn’t think anyone would care about his art so he doesn’t go through with it.

Jon is Dr. Facilier

After talking with Suzy at the party about fairytales and dreams coming true, he’s endeared by Suzy’s insistence that wishing on stars really does make your dreams come true. Begrudgingly, Arin begs to no one in particular for his big break. His moment is interrupted by the croak of a frog, which causes Arin to snap, and he becomes angry at fate’s cruel joke.

“So now I’ve gotta ask myself what I’m willing to put up with today! Not-fucking-this!!”

After he calms down he turns back to the frog and jabs a finger at it, accusing the amphibian of being ‘a asshole’

“Don’t you mean ‘an asshole.’”

Arin is so fed up he doesn’t even freak out about the frog talking to him

“I called you ‘a asshole’ and that’s what I meant.”

“You don’t even know me, dude. Don’t judge a book by it’s cover, right? Just because I’m a frog doesn’t mean I wanna kiss you.”

Arin becomes indignant in a sort of reverse-psychology manner

“Well maybe I wanna kiss you!”

the frog doesn’t get to protest before it happens, and Arin turns into a frog

“Dude, you can’t even blame me for this, you absolutely brought this on yourself.”

“Yeah, okay.”

seeing as how they’re stuck together now and must figure out a way to break this frog curse thing, they begin getting to know eachother as they venture into the swamp

Dan’s consistent mantra of “do what you love and the pieces will fall together” frustrates Arin to no end because that’s what he’s been doing his whole life and he doesn’t have anything to show for it yet, which causes frequent friction between the two

While Dan is frustrated about being a frog, his go-with-the-flow attitude causes him to become comfortable pretty quickly, and he doesn’t seem to be terribly concerned about changing back to normal yet, which also frustrates Arin

“You got me like this, you’re gonna fix it!”

“Like i said, dude, you’re the one who kissed me, I didn’t ask you to, this is on you, bro.”

They run into a crocodile in the swamp named Barry whom Dan indulges with their shared love for music

Frustrated with their screwing-around Arin explains that he and Dan are trying to break the curse that has made them frogs, and Barry informs them about a Voodoo priest who lives deeper in the swamp that can help them named Father Shaw

A firefly named Ross joins their company and while endearing to the trio, serves as a frequent irritation

and, well, if you haven’t seen the movie then you should watch it, the rest of it writes itself

@avibang-bang

biker!got7

PART TWO (a.u)

SEE PART ONE HERE

or’: in which dumb7 like to think they’re the new local gang and should be considered badass just because they got a bunch of bikes off ebay that were on sale and now they pretend to take beatdown requests. tip: don’t trust maknae line to be on their own. 

warnings: mentions of bars/paid violence/gangs, vulgar language, lots of crack actually 

○  | see more of my aus here |  ○ 

youngjae: 

• signature items: dentist voucher card 2 at the price of 1 for teeth whitening                              + smiley face fake earring 

• cutest biker you’ll ever meet w a smile so pure that u start to feel bad for that time you forgot to give a pencil back in 3rd grade that is the youngjae effect© • he lets little kids around the neighborhood  put cute stickers and flowers on his motorcycle and it’s the cutest thing he gets so happy when he sees a new lilly on the handle he actually has a flower chain all over the front and everyone envies him • and no the background sound you just heard wasn’t jackson screaming that little kids won’t come near him as they cling onto yj’s leg nope (that cursed honda...,,) • everyone loves him like this is certified u exist u love youngjae these are the rules but grannies are especially in love w him  • once said a bad word and the whole group panicked and put youngjae into quarantine bc they thought they were losing him to ~the plague~ • he goes to buy them bread every morning and delivers them w his bike and then in the afternoon they race each other yj with his motorcycle and the grannies w their scooters except poor so rin whose husband always goes to afternoon ‘strolls’ w it so he takes her on the back of his bike and ends up losing bc of that like 99% of the time  • sunday night it’s break from fight night bc he goes to play bingo with them and takes the rest of got7 and they are the most excited whenever someone yells bingo even tho it’s not their boy (tip: youngjae has no idea about bingo to this day) •  met the grannies at the dentist as he was getting his teeth whitened and they bonded over weird mumblings and random swallows and trying to communicate while having multiple people’s hands in their mouths at the same time and he just can’t let them go  • now he may look innocent & pure but listen up ok,,,,listen here,,,,,,,,,,he rly is •  except maybe that one time when he bumped into a stranger and didn’t apologize and jesus fucking christ it haunted him for weeks like he would decline when offered lucky charms bc he failed his #code and g o d so he’s not worthy of receiving happiness • he’s supposed to be the one who beats people up but he’s the poodle and the only infernal thing is other gangs’ desire to protect this flower man • wears fluffy socks bc he gets cold feet easily • every time a member is sad said member wakes up with a stuffed bear wearing a leather jacket next to him in bed but “no one” knows who puts them there cause stuffy’s mama didn’t raise a snitch

bambam: 

• signature items:  puppy photos to appease the gods                              + shea butter hand cream 

• the whole city knows him like they hear the word ‘bam’ and this guy pops into their heads 5 mins later the streets are deserted • cue in confused baby bam coming up the street on his bike like ‘:( where is everyone i wanted to show them my new pastel pink mickey mouse socks i bet jihyo would’ve liked them’ so he just takes polaroids of them and puts them in everyone’s mailbox as tokens of his affection • has sometimes troubles with parking his motorcycle bc he can’t rlly hold it perfectly always to park it and yugyeom just jumps out of the bushes like ‘here i come to halp worry not my small noodle man’ • the first one to reject jaebum’s “infernal poodles” idea • ”hyung do you want us to be the laughingstock of the neighborhood we can’t name ourselves infernal poodles that’s so 3rd grade let’s go for malevolent west highland white terriers” - triggered bam 2k17 while holding his pinky up bc he has #class “don’t encourage him u nuthead”

• you’d think he would stop dabbing at some point but nope he’s a professional dabber born&raised™ nearly crashed his yamaha into jackson once while dabbing and the poor guy has never been the same     • like really he would literally get his collection of gold holy crosses out and start spewing latin exorcism chants whenever dumb bam raised his hands • once dabbed in a rly shabby bar bc the beat was lit and punched this shawn michaels wannabe in the face and started a bloody (literally) fight which ended up w/ yug dragging everyone to the hospital bc he was the only one who hadn’t fought (bless his tiny bladder) • PAW patrol enthusiast made everyone dress up as the characters during halloween (he nearly passed out after channeling his inner tarzan to fight mark bc i aM GONNA BE SKYE U PIECE OF PUP POOP-) then forced them to sing the op whilst searching for roaming ghosts bc he also wanted to be ray from ghostbusters (but like ~cooler~ and on a bike)       • sneak master from bangkok hides in the shadows to take aesthetic pics of these rly hipster looking guys (like, living in the sewerage bc we don’t believe in homes hipster) smoking bc he may be soft and squishy but his insta theme is #edgyweedaddictbiker even tho he freaks out whenever someone says ‘mary’ • wanted to decorate his bike w/ some rly cute & rly glittery & not badass at all baby animals stickers but jaebum caught him and confiscated them and now bambam goes all (๑´╹‸╹`๑) whenever they’re alone in a room

• (”but hyung, they fit our aesthetic!!!” 

“how in the heavens do a bunch of black kittens represent us”

“...they mean bad luck??”) =>> jaeshook needed like 10 mins and an ear pull from jinyoung to compose himself  •  has noticed that jb lets youngjae have stickers on his motorcycle bc ‘the kids put it there’ so he tries that too but jaebum is like ‘oh yea and please tell me where do this kids find yellow glittery stickers with baby camels on them’  ‘it’s mustard goddammit hyung’)

• he’s the sacrificial lamb whenever the guys wanna get in a fight like rly they might lowkey want him to get beaten so that he’ll become T O U G H • and all he can do is stand in front of these big&buffed up men like ‘pls don’t hurt the child i can do the cooks they call me bambam bc my maple syrup pancakes are yumyum’ • insert housewife!bambam making muscly man breakfast for those big ass guys resulting in them being all friends!!amigos!!comrades!!! who are in love with bambam • bambam receiving black roses (bc red roses are for pussies) every 2 weeks from the dudes in return!!!! (also guess what’s the sole reason why nobody messes with his gang) •  always pretends that he hadn’t noticed that his instagram captions are my chemical romance lyrics added by jaebum,,, but,, he knows,, •  and now he might have welcome to the black parade saved to his phone but what jb doesn’t know won’t hurt him 

yugyeom: 

• signature items: fur turtlenecks                             +  XL skinny jeans ( the xl stands for extra leggy) • wears heavy clothes so he thinks they make him look shorter (but rly they just turn him into this cheap & memey version of slenderman bc he just can’t get the tentacle part right) • the neighborhood kids start crying whenever they see him on his bike and yj has to spend like 5 hours trying to calm them down and then 5 more to console  • but rly he’s just an overgrown puppy in need of love and when he doesn’t receive enough he just wraps his arms and legs around someone like ‘hi it me the friendly octopus may our love prevail and may you never escape our - not gay at all what are you talking about we’re bros, bro - embrace~’ • he would write these super poetic poems about love & adoration and all that mushy mushy fluffy shit and then read them to the others (insert: distressed members trying to keep at least their sexuality straight bc they sure as hell can’t do that with their bikes) but then he adds ‘bro’ at the end and the magic dissipates and everyone is reminded that they keep him around just bc he looks rly ominous in the dark + he’s tall so he keeps other gangs away •  goes home complaining to his hyungs about him just lightly pushing a bad guy to set him off and then said guy punched him in the face and he feels extremely wronged • ‘yeah i started it but he didn’t have to hit me so hard’ • usually complains at the dinner table and uses the kitchen utensils in his hand gestures and knocks some plates down and that is where he really catches those hands from mark and jinyoung • the members sometimes call him daddy long legs so at night he pretends he’s the babadook and hides in their closets just to mess with them bc he can • and after he startles them he’s like ‘why did you -hyung stop screaming it’s just me- why did you think it was ok to put the cereal on the bottom shelf you know i never notice things that are below my arms’ ((lmao he never gets an answer bc jackson always faints)) • at first he didn’t want to join the gang because that meant buying a motorcycle and he couldn’t do that bc when he was 13 his parents bought him this rly snazzy™ bike for his bday - a few months later and he couldn’t use it anymore bc he’s grown out of it and he’s been scarred ever since so now he thinks that bikes make him grow taller & he fears that one day he might crush his smol friends while stepping on them • ok but like grannies love him tho bc he’s lean, strong & can carry things =>> he’s like perfect grandson material and when he’s not around they can’t stop gushing about him and yj is on the verge of crying every time bc this is so beautiful this is what he lives for and he sometimes records them and plays the recording when he’s sad and can’t sleep • has troubles with talking back to his hyungs and sometimes gets smacked without deserving it bc jb think’s he’s being sarcastic but that’s just his voice give the boy a break • during the winters he wears this weird ass fur coat that jb got him from the same dealer and he puts it on w a serious expression before the fights and acts like he’s jon snow and sometimes does it during jy’s negociations too but always gets the references wrong and told the barman during closing time that he shall not pass ((someone save him.mp3))

Week 2 Preview

The draft excitement is gone. Week one butterflies are over. The nervous Mondays, heartbreaks, second guessing, and frustrations are in full effect. Week two is about to begin and for some of you, it could mean your whole season. It’s time to see who is going to be a contender and who’s still sleeping at 3am Wednesday mornings.

But first, let’s talk about the elephant in the room... A blow out? A tough stubborn quarterback, a star wide receiver ready to make the team his, a stud workhorse running back, traded away the guy who didn’t want to be on the team, poised for a big statement, ready to take back the AFC North, and this is what happens? Punched in the mouth and blown out by 30 with the world watching?! I mean, how embarrassing for Shawn. It must really suck being a Steelers fan.

With that out of the way, let’s take a look at this week’s matchups. You’re either 1-0 or 0-1 so it’s still anyone’s year, but if you want the throne. You gotta come take it.  

#10 She Diggs My Cobb vs. #12 The Injured Reserve

First up, is Bennett vs Casey. I think I speak for all of us when I say, welcome home Bennett! Glad to have you around more, although sure seems it’s came with more snow fall? Weather and nose bleeds aside, happy to have you. Casey, you have a home I think, I know you have a puppy, and possibly are dating your brother? Not sure how it works, but we don’t judge here in 2019.

As far as the matchup, both these guys always have strong drafts and stacked teams. Casey could have a secret weapon in action L Jackson and I’d have to imagine OBJ has a big game on Monday night. Bennett should expect the normal big numbers from Kamara who we all know pained him to draft and a bounce back game out of the bad man Rodgers. This one will come down to if Mixon can give it a go, without him and losing T Coleman, Casey maybe be left shorthanded. If he plays, I think Cholly has the edge. Based off current line ups, which these two guys combined have seen a lot of, Casey takes it.

The Injured Reserve > She Diggs My Cobb

#9 Christian McCuri’s vs. #8 Rooney Tunes

Moving on to Sam and Shawn. Not much Christian about team Mecuri besides his RB, lord knows his weekends aren’t. But gotta give credit where credit is due. Sam is never an easy win and always on his game throughout the season. Every week, along with his Freshly deliveries, he gives himself a chance to win.  Shawn has put together a strong squad this year. He either breaks into the playoffs or into his home after losing his keys again.

Sam turns to his new waiver wire adds instead of David Montgomery, and hopes CMC can repeat another monster week. Hard to tell which players are weekly studs or if he’s going to be shooting off trade proposals next week. Shawn, lead by his beloved Steelers and Kelce, should put up numbers every week and I don’t think this one is any different. I like Sam’s players matchups a little better but I think Shawn puts him into an 0-2 hole..

Rooney Tunes > Christian McCuri’s

#1 Butker in the Cooper vs. #4 Tony Time

Next up is Dom vs Tony. I’ve already received a trade offer from Dom typing this, and assume by the time I’m done there will be another. But this is fantasy season and that’s what he does. He’s also leaving us here to rot but that’s fine. West cost Browns games are going to be so fun when we come stay for each one. Tony’s team has already been bitten by the injury bug. Hopefully he can fight diversity and sneak out another championship (consolation) but its going to take some savvy roster moves.

Dom might have the most well-rounded team and I would love to see them go at it when TJ was full strength, and then play fantasy football because I really like his team too. If Tony’s RBs can have big performances again he may have a shot but I can’t help to think Dom takes his bye week and moves to 2-0. Tony’s fight against SJWs wages on as he moves to 1-1 because everyone is equal.

Butker in the Cooper > Tony Time

#11 Kickers & Defense vs. #3 Mahomies Chubbie

For this next match up between Chad and Solden, picture this scenario. It’s Thursday at Park Place Tech. For Chad, it just hits different. Filling his snooter tube, prepping the DMs, and confirming his weekend plans, which he’s had since Monday after checking the weather report. For Solden, it means family parties, double dates, and baby clothes shopping, he can never be too prepared nor can he wait.  

They are destined to meet in the fantasy world, their paths ever so different in the real. There is no friendship when playing each other. As they approach the breakfast line at work, Chad pushes by Solden with a “watch it bro bro”, he’s not bigger than me Solden tells himself. He tries to stay calm but only ends up sweating through his shirt. Solden knows who the better team is, but his drive to best Chad in what he loves most only fuels his fire. They ride the same elevator up, both leave their headphones in. Solden turns his music up, Chad goes even louder. They each take turns trying to drown out the other. The girl stuck in there with them grows uncomfortable, although the lil Yachty/Chase Rice mash up is surprisingly not bad, she gets out as fast as she can. Chad thinks about going after her, after all she wasn’t bad, but stands his ground. Now is no time to give up alpha status. The doors close and up they go.

Back at their desks, Chad sets his lineup and admires his team, no way he could lose this one. He’s already looking ahead to his next matchup. Bad luck couldn’t strike again, could it?  But to Solden, this isn’t just a fantasy anymore. No way he’s bigger than me he keeps repeating in his head. There’s no playing ROK on his phone all day, this day he stands up to the fantasy bullies. No more giving him crap about his drafting or how bad his players are. Not this day, this day… he fights. Wheeling and dealing trades (good ones), making free agent pickups, and doing his research on who to start, he’s ready, ready to claim his spot among the fantasy elite. Solden is ready to catch Chad and the rest of us all off guard. He’s about to start his season long run. Turns out all he needed was a little push.

Kickers & Defense > Mahomies Chubbie

#5 JuJu Kachoo vs. #2 jared donovans’s Team

Your defending champion, yes champion until unseated vs Jared. While our on sand chemistry is off the charts, there is no love or handshakes in fantasy. Jared decided to I guess read up on drafting this year? He put together a very nice team and looks to be in the hunt all season. After putting up the second highest total last week I can only hope he comes back down to earth. D Watson looks to be the real deal all year and his RBs are solid. I can’t see Arob being a weekly thing but what do I know? I’m only the reigning champion. I think my receivers give me the edge in this one, but I’d give up a Crowder donut if it meant the Browns won. Jar may live down the street but ill be living in his head all weekend. Look for Gronk to come out of retirement and seal this victory for me. Did I mention I’m writing this from the champions lounge?

JuJu Kachoo > jared donovan’s Team

#6 Under the Influwentz vs. #7 My Quads Are Danger6

My game of the week! Newcomer Jon may be the oldest member we have but that baby face is as smooth as his team. He talked the talk and walked the walk come draft time. His team is one of the stronger in this league should they stay healthy. Last week may have been a loss but no one was keeping up with Dom that time around. I expect Jon to be a tough draw for whoever he goes against. This matchup is filled with stud RBs and is sure to rack up some points.

Doug is just being Doug. Dude does this shit every year. Shows up in muni to take his annual photo with us then disappears into the grayness. Guy always drafts some studs and puts up numbers all season long. With a stacked RB roster, he’s going to be hard to beat each week, but I think Baker bounces back in huge way and helps Jon bring home his first win in the LOAD. Barkley and Ekeler will be too much to handle and Doug will have to go back to the drawing board.

My Quads Are Danger6 > Under the Influwentz

 That’s all I have for us this week. Best of luck to everyone. Let’s hope our boys give us something to be happy about on Monday before we all lose our minds. We need it. For our sanity. Plz.

DAWG CHECK

 PS: Not to be a tattletale or pot stirrer… but someone changed their name while I was writing this and I can’t go back and retype it and his initials are Anthony Caito and he should be fined even though he doesn’t believe in the rules and that’s it.