#blossom's next workshop!!!
Text
Shared Custody
Commander Wolffe/Reader
Words: 1,806
Summary: When a tooka kitten takes a shine to you in the middle of hyperspace, you're too busy basking in its cuteness to question who managed to smuggle it on board. When you finally do find out who takes care of it though, you're nothing less than surprised.
Flower and Meaning: periwinkle || blossoming friendship still in its first stages
Note: my april fic for the @yearofcreation2023!
Year of Flowers Masterlist • Clone Troopers Masterlist
The sound of the automatic door opening pulled your attention away from the medical droid you were fiddling with, because you never received visitors in your workshop. Working the night shift on a Jedi cruiser meant that you lived a pretty lonely life, with the only things you interacted with on a daily basis being broken droids and the occasional clone you saw when you went to refill your caf mug. But even then, you didn’t really know any of the men on the ship beyond small talk and basic pleasantries. It was hard to maintain relationships when duties and shifts were always changing, and the only reason you were able to keep your shift the same was because the droid technician that worked during the day would never in a million years want to change the schedule. It was almost better for you in some ways, as you had pretty bad insomnia and just worked better at the times when everyone else was asleep, but you also had to contend with the looming loneliness that only being awake at this time came with.
And if things weren’t confusing enough, no one stepped into your workshop. It appeared that the door’s motion sensor had been set off by thin air, or at least that’s what you thought until you felt something plop itself down on your lap. When you looked down, there was a little gray and white tooka staring back at you, and you couldn’t help but fall in love with the way it looked up with its big blue eyes.
It was clearly a kitten, and you had no idea where it could have come from. The flagship you were stationed on was currently hurtling through hyperspace on the way to deliver aid to several Mid-Rim planets, and you hadn’t landed for a while, so there wasn’t exactly a clear explanation to the presence of this small (and very adorable) animal.
You gently ran your hand over its head and upper body as you continued to tinker with the droid on your worktable, smiling at the quiet purrs you heard. You may be completely confused about where it came from, but you were in no way looking to send it away.
Some of the clones had to have smuggled it onto the ship, you decided. There was no other explanation, as the Republic wasn’t exactly providing tookas to be used as weapons for the war effort. You would have to ask around at the next meeting you went to, because that was the only time you really saw the other inhabitants of the ship and you did not want this to be the only time you got to spend time with this little guy (or girl, but honestly, you had no idea how to check for that).
The next time you looked down, the kitten was fast asleep on your lap, its body rising and falling with every adorable breath it took. You couldn’t help the smile that crossed your face as you went back to work on repairing the medical droid.
It was almost good that you eventually fell asleep at your workstation, because if you had seen the tiny animal wake up and jump down from your lap, you might have tried to steal it back so you could keep it all to yourself.
***
The next night, you kept a careful ear out for the sound of the door opening, and to your delight, you were rewarded with a visit from the same little tooka. It hopped up on your lap immediately and began to paw at your stomach until you reached down to pet it, and then promptly fell asleep once you obliged. Immediately you decided that you wanted to keep this little creature forever, no matter what you had to do for it.
And you had excellent luck with this, because it became a routine for you. Every night you would be working on whatever droids needed repairing when the motion sensors on your door were activated, and your new friend would come marching in, almost always looking for pets and cuddles. There were a few times that the kitten arrived later than usual, and you found yourself fretting over where it could be, hoping that everything was okay and it wasn’t trapped anywhere on the ship.
You even placed an old couch cushion on the workbench next to where you usually sat and covered it with a soft blanket you managed to find in storage closet somewhere for the tooka. It had fallen asleep on that a few times, but usually preferred your lap to curl up on during the night, something you were not going to complain about.
It definitely seemed like someone else was taking care of it, because it never cried for food or water, and it was clearly adjusted to being around people. You became more curious about the mystery caretaker each day, but you hadn’t seen anyone who you could really ask. You treasured the small moments you got to spend with the creature, and even though you knew that it was probably looking for a safe and warm place to sleep each night, you couldn’t help but hope that it liked you as much as you liked it.
It was sheer luck that you ever discovered who was taking care of it. One night you heard the door to your workshop open and you looked up in surprise, because the only visitor you ever had was already curled up and sleeping on your lap. “Commander,” you said as you stared at the clone in your doorway. “Is there something I can help you with?”
You would probably consider Commander Wolffe the person on the ship you spoke to the most, but pretty much all your conversations had been for professional reasons. You liked him (and you weren’t going to lie, you thought he was really attractive), but you also didn’t get to see him too often because of how busy he was.
“Yes, one of the medical droids stopped functioning and I was wondering if you could fix it.”
You nodded, and Wolffe brought the droid in, gently placing it on your worktable (once you moved aside the tiny mouse droid you had been fiddling with at the time. He was strong, you noted as you watched him pick up what you knew to be fairly thick plated durasteel like it didn’t weigh anything.
The tooka on your lap shifted in its sleep as the droid was set down on the table, and you instinctively looked down at it to make sure everything was okay. “Sorry if that bothered you,” Wolffe said, clearly thinking that he had somehow scared you when he set the droid down. “I was trying to be gentle.”
“Don’t worry, it wasn’t you,” you reassured him. “Right now there’s a sleeping tooka on my lap, and I was just making sure it didn’t wake up.”
Wolffe’s eyes widened slightly and he stepped closer to you, no doubt to see whether or not your statement was true. “So that’s where she goes at night,” he said.
It took you a moment to register his words, but once you did, you stared at him with a shocked expression. “This tooka is yours?”
“Not technically,” he admitted, voice growing quieter. “Sinker and Boost smuggled a whole litter on board, but we ended up leaving them with Senator Amidala the last time we were on leave because they became too much of a handful.”
You raised your eyebrows at him. “Clearly you didn’t leave all of them with the Senator.”
“No, this little nuisance managed to evade capture when we last landed on Coruscant, so I’ve been taking care of her in the meantime. I was wary at first, but she’s really grown on me.”
“Well,” you said with a smile on your face. “If you need someone to take her off your hands, I could always take care of things.”
“I wouldn’t want to interrupt your schedule,” he said.
“It wouldn’t be a big deal!” you said. “Or you can take care of her during the day and I’ll take the night shift. Shared custody, if you will.”
Wolffe laughed at your joke, and you were struck by how much that positive expression did for him, because he seemed like a different person for a moment. You didn’t pretend to know what kind of horrors he’s seen or the kind of stress that he was always under, but you worried for him, especially now. “I guess that can work.”
“Excellent,” you said. “So what’s her name?”
Wolffe stopped and stared at you for a moment before responded. “Well, I’ve just been calling her tooka.”
You raised your eyebrows as you looked up at him with an incredulous expression. “Well, that definitely needs to change. Remind me to never let you name our children.” The words were out of your mouth before you could pull them back, and you tried to keep your cool, desperately hoping that maybe if you acted normal he wouldn’t realize what you just said.
But unfortunately, you weren’t that lucky. But instead of hearing a noise of disgust escape the commander’s mouth, you heard him laugh instead. “I’ll keep that in mind,” he said.
“I’m sorry, I just- it was a joke, I never-” you sputtered out in response, wishing you could sink into the floor and disappear.
“Hey,” he interrupted, and you just stared at him, mouth still half open. “Don’t worry about it, I thought it was cute.”
If you had any brain function left, it all completely disappeared upon hearing those words. “I-”
But the Maker had thankfully granted you a little bit of peace, because Wolffe’s comm went off before you could respond and he had to step away. Right before he disappeared down the hall, he turned back to you with a smile. “I’ll come back here once I get this issue sorted, and we can think of a name for our new child,” he said. “Do you want me to get you anything to eat while I’m away?”
You started to shake your head, but your stomach growled before you could really finish. “Maybe just a snack and some caf?” you asked, grateful for the subject to have changed, even if it was only slight.
Wolffe nodded and disappeared from the room, leaving you to wonder what had just happened, and whether or not you were dreaming. You looked down at the tooka still snoozing on your lap as you started to think about different names for it, and you couldn’t help but smile at the idea that Wolffe was coming back, and that he wanted to spend time with you.
Maybe that embarrassing moment from before wasn’t so bad after all.
- the end -
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#year of themed creation#commander wolffe x reader#commander wolffe x you#wolffe x reader#commander wolffe#commander wolffe x gender neutral reader#clone trooper x reader#clone wars fanfiction#star wars x reader
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enchanted to meet you ⋙ 23. the amulet pt. 2
⋙ written part included 『••✎••』
You looked up as Felix and Changbin both put their phones away, looking between the two. "What's going on?" You asked, a little annoyed to be out of the loop but with your phone currently in the pocket of a lunatic, it couldn't be helped.
"Hyunjin got the amulet from Minho and is laying low in a classroom somewhere," Changbin began. "Felix is going to go meet with him."
"Why can't Hyunjin come here?" You asked.
"Because we can't have the amulet too close to them right now," Changbin nodded over to where Chan and Jeongin were still sitting, deep in concentration, but you could already see exhaustion beginning to creep on their faces. "Once we don't need the barrier anymore, then we can all meet up, but until then, it's safer for Felix to go back up Hyunjin and I stay to protect these two."
"Wait, so is Minho with Hyunjin then?" You frowned, looking from Changbin to Felix. The two exchanged a look that you caught, feeling your stomach suddenly drop. "Where's Minho?" You continued when neither answered you.
"The plan was for Hyunjin to run off with the amulet after you were able to run away." Felix quietly explained, "Then Minho could do his cat thing and-"
"He's stuck as a cat?" You interrupted, panic blossoming in your chest. "He's up against a warlock and all he'll have is a few claws? Whose idea was that?" You watched as the two looked at each other again and groaned, "Oh my god, it was Min's, wasn't it?"
"In everyone's defense, Y/n, we really didn't have a lot of time to exactly workshop this rescue plan." Changbin pointed out and you threw your hands up, begrudgingly accepted his answer.
"Okay, well, I'm no longer tied up, so Felix go take of Hyunjin, Changbin you stay here, and I'll go get Minho." You said, turning and taking steps to the door.
"Woah, hey, no," Changbin exclaimed, quickly grabbing you by the arm. "That would kind of defeat this whole rescue plan to just let you go alone, wouldn't it?" He pointed out and you frowned, trying to tug your arm out of his grip but he wouldn't budge.
"I can't just sit here though, Binnie," You complained. "How can I? What if something happens?"
Changbin hesitated and Felix stepped in between you two, grabbing your other arm. "How about Y/n goes with me to get Hyunjin? That way if we see Minho, we can grab him. Two birds with one stone, right?" He suggested quietly and you nodded eagerly.
"Yeah, let's do that. Plus, that way you can focus on Channie and Innie too." You added.
After a second, Binnie sighed and let go of your arm. "Fine," He relented, though he still looked a little conflicted. "But the minute this is all over, we meet up again, got it?"
You and Felix both nodded, the latter gently pulling you to the door at the go ahead. "We'll see you soon, Bin!" You called as you left the room, sending a wave to Changbin before the door closed behind you.
You let Felix quietly lead you through the halls as he silently observed the room numbers. After a few minutes, he stopped in front of a room, tapping on the room number next to the door. "Hyunjin said this is the room." He said, before opening the door and poking his head inside. "Hyunjin?" He called quietly and over Felix's shoulder you could see Jinnie's head pop up from behind a desk, relief clearly evident on his face.
"I can't tell you how happy I am that you guys found it." Hyunjin whispered, beckoning you to come in.
You suddenly felt the hairs on the back of your neck stand up, gooseflesh running up your arms. You turn around, eyes searching the hallway as Felix begins to head into the room, too focused on Hyunjin to notice your unease.
Out of the corner of your eye, you spot a familiar gray tail turn the corner. "Minho," you whisper, and without a second thought start heading to where you saw him disappear.
Just as you round the corner you saw him, you saw him further down the hallway, darting into a room. "Minho!" You whispered as loud as you dared, glancing behind you before jogging over as softly as you could to the open door.
You took a step into the room, looking around for the man-turned-cat. "Min?" You hissed, leaning down to look under the empty desks. "Where are you? Let's go home." You frowned, heading further into the room. "I saw you run in here, Min."
"Not quite."
You spun around, watching as San filled the doorway.
"You wouldn't know it, but illusion magic is surprisingly easy to do." San continued, taking a few steps into the room.
You frowned, moving back to keep distance between you two. "Of course you would've tricked me." You remarked, trying to keep your voice steady and not let the man know just how anxious you were at the moment. "Where's Minho?"
San shrugged, "Couldn't tell you. After you ran away, so did he and his little ferret friend. But I knew if I could find you, I could find him. Or vice versa, it didn't really matter."
"You can stop this, y'know." You pleaded, looking around the room, wondering if you were fast enough if you could get by him and out the door. "Just let me go and this can end."
"I can't do that, Y/n," San sighed. "Not until I get the amulet."
"Okay, just let me go and get that for you-" You said, about to dart around him but yelped in surprise as you felt his hand suddenly grab the back of your neck, fingers digging in almost painfully.
"Please, I'm not stupid," San hissed, looming over you.
You opened your mouth to retort when suddenly yowling filled the room. Both of you looked down to see Minho standing between the two of you, fur on end as he hissed and swiped at San.
San cursed, stepping back a little before leaning down. He dodged another swing of gray paws before using his free hand to grasp Minho's scruff, lifting the cat off his feet as Minho began to caterwaul even louder.
"Lee Minho, did you know that recently, I've become rather adept at transferring spells from one person to another?" San asked, holding Minho so they'd be eye to eye, but maintaining enough distance so Minho's claws wouldn't connect.
"Let's see how you like it when someone you love gets cursed." San spat and you froze, feeling his palm on the back of your neck suddenly grow hot, almost unbearably so. You reached up, trying to pull his hand off you but to no avail; he ignored your tugging on his wrist and instead focused on Minho in his other grasp. You followed his gaze and gasped softly, your hands dropping to your side.
Both of you watched as Minho's back paws began to glow, spreading slowly higher and higher along his lithe feline body before eventually covering him completely, all the way to tips of his ears.
"This is what it would've looked like if you had been able to reverse his curse normally." San commented before suddenly releasing his grip on Minho, dropping him.
You gasped, trying to move forward to at least catch Minho, but San's grip on you only let you watch as the glowing cat fell to the floor.
Right as his paws were to hit the ground, there was a bright flash and the light suddenly scattered across the class room before burning out, reminding you of cheap sparklers bought for celebrations as a child.
You blinked furiously, trying to erase the remaining streaks of light in your vision before you're finally able to make out human Minho crouched on the ground, looking just as surprised as you.
"Holy shit- Minho." You whisper and he looks up, your eyes connecting before he's quickly looking to San, the angriest look you've ever seen on his face.
"San, don't-" He starts to say but there's another flash on light, followed by a strange tingling up your spine, and it all goes black.
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I guess this is gonna be a three parter 😅 my new job is absolutely wiping me out but I'll try to have the last part ( I SWEAR ) up soon.
Tag list: @mal-lunar-28, @kpopsstuffs, @cassidymb121, @brooklynie, @owotalks, @honey-pop, @hanniemylovelyquokka, @chlodavids, @abbiestearsricochet, @maexc, @seungmyynie, @brinnalaine, @kalopsian-thoughts, @jiisungllvr, @asherthehimbo, @pinxeajin, @vampcharxter, @jluvselandabs, @bettybeako, @borahae-reads, @raehawthorne, @yongbbokkie, @skzhoes, @lauraliisa, @meloncremesoda, @cutiespaghetti, @beaann, @thesassy-mia, @sclassstay, @twobluegoldfish, @hopefulrascalstatesmantoad, @hyuneyeon, @hyunniethepooh, @thecararcticmonkeys, @sunnibearr, @miserablywasted, @feybin, @inniescandy-01, @autumn-lv, @mushrooms-moon, @mae-is-cute98, @bada-lee-ily, @amelee23, @caravm, @sunshinessky, @skz-streamer, @realrintaro, @urmomma0324, @redstayrosie,
*red means I can't tag you D:*
#stray kids#stray kids smau#stray kids fake texts#skz smau#lee minho#lee minho x y/n#lee minho x reader#lee know x y/n#lee know x reader#lee know#enchanted to meet you smau
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into the aurora - chapter thirteen (ot8)
chapter twelve: a little more in the morning
summary: your morning starts with yeosang, so much yeosang.
warnings: lots and lots of smut, nothing super specific to flag though~
pairings: ot8 x reader
genre: fluff, angst, romance, ateez ensemble x reader, polyamory, non-idol!reader, fem!reader, smut
word count: 5.9K
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Your life is now a mix of late nights and early mornings, constantly moving and catching up to all eight of your boys who seem used to and comfortable with this kind of schedule. Your days are hectic, but full.
You start every day like you always do; yoga, quiet time, and coffee with Yeosang before work. Your days at the office are incredibly varied depending on what the focus is for the week, but on average you’re in meetings with the production team, learning as much as possible, and spending your afternoons in the studio alongside Edenary. The evenings stretch long too, partnering up with Hongjoong and Mingi while they workshop their tracks and rap verses, or visiting all of them at dance practice. Your social life is starting to blossom outside of the boys too, new friends at work becoming people text or grab coffee with mid-day. It’s the fullest schedule you’ve ever had, and you keep being told that this is nothing compared to the thick of comeback preparation or tour.
You wake to a warm hand stroking your hair and the weight of someone settled on the side of your bed. The night before you were at the studio late, well past midnight, unable to leave Hongjoong when he was so deeply plugged in. Watching him work is exhilarating, it makes you feel like you know nothing about music, thousands of things to learn and you don’t want to waste a second of it, regardless of what it’s doing to your sleep or your schedule. Easing into consciousness and the touch against your hair, you stretch long, struggling to open your eyes, a yawn on your lips.
“y/n,” comes Yeosang’s deep tone, “y/n…” he soothes.
You groan and roll towards his voice, his hand running down your back as you do, “What time is it?”
“After nine, you missed our date,” he murmurs.
The time startles you; you jerk up with a gasp and reach for your phone – your alarm had gone off, and you clearly slept straight through it. “Oh, God, I’m so late,”
“y/n,” Yeosang catches your hands, pulling your phone away and placing it back on the side table, “it’s Saturday.”
“What?” Sleep clings to you as you try to understand his words.
“There’s no work,” he murmurs, “it’s Saturday, relax.”
“Oh,” you rake your hands through your messy locks and collapse back into the pillows with a sigh.
“You never sleep late,” he murmurs, “I just wanted to check on you, but you started to wake up the minute I opened your door.”
“I’m a light sleeper,” you tell him.
“Mm,” he nods, looking down at your warmly, “your body must have needed the rest though, I’m sorry I interrupted.”
“Oh no,” you catch his hand in yours, “I don’t like sleeping late usually or missing my routine,”
“I know,” he nods.
You let yourself wake up a little, listening to the house around you, only hearing Yeosang’s steady breathing. “Is everyone still asleep?”
“Mostly,”
“Hmm,” you stretch under his palm that rests warmly on your side.
“Do you want to try and sleep more? Or should I get you a cup of coffee?” He shifts, his leg hitching higher on the bed so he can turn towards you.
It’s been weeks of flirting with him; hot kisses in the kitchen and nothing more. It seems to you like now is the perfect moment, but something is preventing him from making the move. He hasn’t taken you out formally like some of the others, and hasn’t jumped your bones either, he’s simply paced and steady and not shifting gears. There’s no way he doesn’t notice what you’re wearing though, a silky sleep tank top that you’re sure keeps very little from his imagination. His fingers toy with the fabric lightly and the thoughts of him swimming around in your brain combined with the innocent brushes of his fingers is enough to make you want him.
“Yeosang,” you shake your head, tugging softly at the fabric of his sweats, “would you hold me for a minute?”
His eyes widen a little, “Hold you?”
“Yeah,” you pull at the fabric again, “come here,”
He shifts into the bed with you, letting you pull the covers over him and snuggle close into the firm plane of his chest. He’s tense, and it takes him a moment to settle his hands on you, but eventually he breathes a sigh and rests one hand on your back and the other over your hand on his chest.
“Are you sure you don’t want to sleep more?” He murmurs, “You seem tired, and I know you’ve been working so hard lately,”
“I’m okay,” you take a moment to just soak up his warmth and the feeling of his arms around you, “I just thought this might be nice for a second, we don’t get a lot of time alone.”
“Oh,” he says, and you can hear the brightness in his tone, “well then I’ll stay as long as you want,”
You rest your cheek on his chest, relaxing into the soft fabric of his black shirt on your cheek, the tips of your fingers stroking a subtle pattern on his abdomen. You’re not sure if he will make the first move, or even if he’s picked up on what you want yet, but you try with subtle movements to let him know. You stretch against him, pressing your body tighter to his as you do, and let your hand drop down lower, settled just an inch or two away from the waistband of his sweats.
He clears his throat softly and shifts his hips. You’re sure he’s already getting hard and trying to hide it when he draws one leg up, effectively lifting the material of his sweats away from his hips and giving him a little room. “Do you,” he shifts again, and you catch the twitch of something in his pants before he finds a better position, “have any plans for today?”
“Um,” you shift to look up at him, dragging your leg up over his as you do, “nothing special,”
“Ah,” you watch as he swallows hard.
“You?”
“Some of us are going to the studio later,” he says, “you should come if you’re free,”
You nod, holding his gaze, and then make another forward move. The tips of your fingers edge under the waistband of his sweatpants, sliding now just on skin, and you watch as his eyes flick over to watch the movement of your hand.
“y/n,” he breathes slowly.
“Is this okay?” You check, feeling how frozen he is under you.
He nods and you push your hand further, now moving past the edge of his boxers and lower still. You watch his eyes stay locked on where your hand disappears into his pants, and he inhales sharply as your fingers finally brush the base of his hardening cock.
“I’ve been thinking,” you brush your fingers just a little higher, feeling him twitch under your touch, “we’ve waited too long to do this.” Your mind flicks back to the first moment in the kitchen.
He opens his mouth to say something, but you slide your hand fully upwards, wrapping your fingers around his hard length and pumping it once. Yeosang groans in response, his eyes fluttering shut, and he exhales hard through his nose, “So when you said hold you,” he smiles, “you had other plans?”
“If you want,” you stroke him again, and this time you pull up to the tip, rolling your wrist just right before dragging your hand back down and resting at the base. Now with him heavy in your hand you can’t hide your surprise, he’s much larger than you would have guessed, and he knows it.
“Don’t stop,” he says, pressing up with his hips a little, “I like where this is going.”
You smile, and work your hand on him again, looking down to watch the way your hand bobs up and down under the fabric of his sweats, the way his abdominal muscles twitch in response, how his fingers tighten on your hip to hold you tight against his body. He shudders a sigh, and finally pushes your hand away, up and out of his pants.
“Why’d you stop me?” You twist to look up at him.
“I just don’t want this to be over too quickly, come here,” he pulls you up to meet his mouth, kissing you hungrily and groaning against your lips. He rocks forwards and dips you backwards so that you’re now laying underneath him, and he pushes up the edge of your shirt while you kiss, shoving it higher until it exposes your breasts to the cool air.
“Yeosang,” you murmur, holding him tight.
“Hmm?” He murmurs but continues kissing you until he’s working his way down your chest. You can’t respond, you can’t really think of anything coherent to say already. He makes his way lower, shifting down the mattress, and cups both of your breasts in his hands, kneading them softly and swiping his thumbs over your hardening nipples.
At a soft sound from the back of your throat he looks up, “These,” he squeezes again softly, and your mouth drops open, “are even prettier than I imagined.” He flicks the pad of his thumb over your nipple once more and you pant, an echo of the noise you made a moment ago. He smiles, “You’re so reactive,”
“Oh,” you breathe, biting your lip when he teases your nipple again.
“I wonder what other noises you make,” he presses down on your sides, a tickle against your ribs and your body jerks under his hands.
“You’re teasing me,” you finally say.
He shakes his head, “I’m just learning what you like,” he says, and the low timbre of his voice has you trembling.
You reach for him, brushing his hair away from his face and tucking it behind his ear, holding his jaw in your hand as you look at him, “I’d like it if you touched me,”
“Hmm,” he sighs, “already?”
You nod, “Please,”
He rolls away from you, quickly hopping back out of bed and pulling his shirt off as he does. He tosses it to the side and moves to check that your door is fully pulled shut, pausing to listen to see if he can hear anyone else awake. You sit up, your shirt falling back down to cover yourself, and wait for him again, knees drawn up and you recline back on the heels of your hands. With his shirt off now you can see just how broad he is, muscular and toned, sweats fully hanging off his lean hips and tented at the front where his cock stands ready.
When he turns back to you, he smiles, raking his hands through his slightly curled hair and kneeling on the edge of the bed to come back towards you.
“So?” You ask.
“It’s still pretty quiet,” he nods.
“Then will you come back over here?” You let your knees part, falling open a little and hold his gaze.
Yeosang moves back to the bed, kneeling between your widening legs and his eyes flick over you. You watch him swallow tightly and he reaches out, running a hand up and down your leg from ankle to knee, drinking you in.
“Yeo,” you murmur, “please?” You widen your legs more and he shifts forwards.
“Mm,” he sighs, finally sliding his hand from your lower leg up and brushing it along your inner thing, “I like it when you say my name like that,”
“You do?” You watch him, the way he studies your body and makes little changes in the pressure of his fingers on your skin with every little noise you make.
“Mhm,” he nods, “it sounds like you want me.”
“I do want you,” you breathe.
His hand drags further, and instead of stopping at the topmost part of your thigh, he finally moves closer and slides the pad of his thumb up and down over your clit, the silky fabric of your sleep shorts now the only barrier between you. You hum pushing your hips a little further into his touch and he increases the pressure, circling his thumb again and again, his eyes flicking up to watch your face.
“I’ve wanted to touch you like this for ages…” he bites his lip as he bares down more with his finger, watching intently as your body twitches under him.
“Why haven’t you?” Your hands tighten against the sheets as you fully relax and lie back, letting him take the lead.
He shrugs, “It’s just timing, I guess,” he runs his finger down, pressing at your entrance and feeling your wetness seep into the satin fabric, “and you’re worth the wait,”
Pleasure flutters through you, and you’re about to beg him for more when he shifts his hand to pull your sleep shorts fully to one side, exposing you bare. Yeosang hums pleasantly when he sees you, returning his thumb to your swollen clit only this time the rough pad of his skin as you flushed and moaning, the sensation so much better and more intense than the earlier promise of his touch.
“How’s that?” He checks in.
“Really, really nice,” you sigh as the heat builds in your belly.
He smiles, and then pushes his middle finger inside you, slowly dragging it in and out. It’s torturously slow, and you jerk your hips, “More,” you prompt him. His eyes glance up to yours and he nods, sliding his ring finger in too, pressing into you deeply and pausing, letting you adjust to the feeling.
His free hand rests on your bare thigh, squeezing softly. His hands are so warm, almost hot skin to skin, and his fingers are perfectly thick and filling. As he starts to pump them, just a little at a time to warm you up, you drop your head back with a groan.
“You’re so wet,” he observes, thrusting just a little bit more firmly to earn a moan from your lips.
“Yeosang,”
“Here,” he slips his fingers out of you and moves to grip your hips, pulling you another few inches down the bed. He pushes his sweatpants down his thighs and the sight of his hard, perfect length has your muscles clenching.
He pulls your sleep shorts to the side again, not bothering to try and take anything off you, and pushes your legs back and open, your hips rocking into the perfect position to take him inside you.
“Oh,” your voice comes out weak, a little hoarse. He’s moving forwards quickly, but the second he teasingly presses the head of his cock inside you before slipping it out and dragging the length of his cock up and down your slit, catching on your sensitive bud, you really don’t seem to care anymore.
“You’re beautiful,” his voice is low.
You blush, your body trembling, and then he pushes his hips forwards and presses his cock inside you. He fills you perfectly with every inch, and your walls stretch around him deliciously until he’s sheathed almost fully inside you and touching every little pleasurable spot inside.
You moan softly, rocking your hips just a bit, and he slides his hands into the perfect spot on your legs to hold you open for him. He thrusts slowly at first, like he did with his fingers, a teasing massage that isn’t quite enough to make you breathless but makes you wetter and starts to build a knot inside you.
He watches you, and starts to push more, rock faster and thrust himself inside you at a steadier pace. You bite your lip, swallowing back a moan and nod, “Like that,”
He holds your legs firmly, the veins in his hand jumping as his fingers flex, and he keeps his pace steady, panting slightly. He reaches down, tugging your sleep shorts further to the side and leans over you just a little more, giving him a better angle and bending your legs further.
“Come here,” he murmurs, drawing your legs together tightly and leaning over you more, tightening your walls around his thick cock and drawing your hips into a deeper dip that lights pleasure up your stomach. You do moan now, unable to stop the sudden wave and you pant out his name.
“You feel so amazing,” he sighs, “so tight,”
”Fuck,” you stammer, “Yeosang, please,”
“What do you want?” He moves hips faster, his expression knotting up in pleasure.
“You can,” you start to say, groaning when he thrusts just a little harder, and you reach up for the headboard to brace yourself, “oh my god,”
“Tell me,” He prompts, slowing down again and stroking your skin.
“I can take more,” you meet his gaze, and you watch his eyes widen, “if you want.”
He stops his thrusts entirely and lets your legs fall back open, “More how?”
“I don’t,” you trip over your words, and he smiles when you blush, “you know what I mean,”
He shifts his hips back, pulling himself free and smiles again when you moan at the sudden movement and loss of him inside you. He shifts over you, cupping your cheek, “Are you asking me to fuck you harder?”
You can’t find words, but you nod.
“Do you like that?” his hand closes over your wrist where you’re still holding onto the rung of your headboard.
He’s shifting now from soft and gentle into something more at the mere indication that you might want it, and wet heat rushes to your core. You nod again, “Please,”
“I just want to take care of you,” he slides his hand up, closing his hand over yours, “and if that’s what you want,” he drops down over you, kissing you harder this time, “I can give that to you.”
The huskiness of his low morning voice combined with his words and his hand over yours, possessive, and firm, has you letting out a strained whine and you nod again.
“Turn over,” he pushes back off you and with sure hands on your hips starts to roll your body over.
“Like this?” You settle on your stomach, and he pulls your hips up.
“Stay there,” he directs you, and then he folds one of your pillows and pushes it beneath you, propping your hips up perfectly without you having to hold yourself up. He pushes you down to the mattress, a little firmer than before, forcing you down so that you’re lying flat and flush against the bed. He yanks your sleep shorts off and tosses them behind him before he pushes your legs open wide and moves over you, his cock nudging your folds open so he can sink back inside you.
“Perfect,” he says with a sigh, “I want you like this, and then I want you on top,”
“Oh,” you shiver as he pushes in again more fully, kissing your back.
He shoves your sleep shirt up further, and then anchors his hands on your hips, thrusting into your tight walls faster and faster, setting a steady hard pace and giving you exactly what you need.
“Fuck,” your hand shoots out and you grip the headboard again, holding still as he fucks into you.
“Shh,” he hushes you, “unless you want everyone to hear you,”
Your muscles clench around him, and you push your face into the pillow, muffling your pants and whines. He’s so quiet, only the occasional groan from his lips, so focused on finding the pace that has your hips bouncing back into his and your hand fisting the bed sheets.
“Is this what you wanted?” He thrusts hard, knocking you forwards, and you whine, “Is this how you like to come?”
“Fuck, Yeosang,” your head falls to the side, and you look back at him, reaching for him blinding with your one hand.
He snags your wrist, twisting your arm behind you and pressing it into your lower back, holding it firmly in his grip without hurting you and leaning his weight a little more steadily down. You moan, the way he’s controlling you fully has you spinning, and you press your face back into the mattress to stifle the sound.
“Just like that,” he pants, and the feeling of his hands on you and his cock pounding inside you strikes heat through your abdomen, a ray of pleasure lancing up your chest.
“Yeo,” you cry, pushing your hips back into his frantically.
“Say it again,”
“Yeosang,” you look back towards him, catching his eyes, “Yeo please, baby, make me come,”
His hand on your wrist loosens and he falters over you, “Oh fuck,”
“Baby, please,” you beg, and you push your hips down to try and catch some kind of friction on your clit.
He moves quickly, sliding out of you and pulling you up to your knees, and he takes your place, flat on his back, “Get over here,” he pulls you forwards, and you brace a hand on his chest, moving to straddle him.
Your thighs are shaking as you sink down on him, the position putting him deeper inside you than ever, and you stammer out a curse.
“Fuck,” Yeosang’s eyes fall shut, his head rocking back against the pillows and his hands grip your thighs.
The sound of him groaning beneath you is almost too much, but you want to hear it again. Anchoring yourself with your hands on his chest you start to bounce your hips, drawing him in and out of you at the fastest pace you can manage with any semblance of control.
“God,” he grabs your hips, opening his eyes to watch you and supporting your weight in his hands, “you’ve got to slow down I can’t,” he stammers out.
You roll down and hold steady, letting him collect himself and giving your thighs a break, but he doesn’t take long. He reaches forwards and secures his thumb against your clit again, circling it quickly and jutting up with his hips to get you moving again. “Come on, beautiful,”
The sensation is hot and tight, you’re coming up fast finally after being on the edge of your orgasm for too long and you lose yourself, needing it so desperately that you can barely think straight. You knock his hand away and drop your hips low, taking every inch of him inside you and pressing your clit down against his pubic bone.
His mouth falls open as he watches, and you collapse forwards onto his chest as you rut your hips and grind yourself against him. He yanks you down further, kissing you soundly and breathing hot against your lips, his free hand cupping your ass and squeezing, dragging you forwards and back with a steady pace to get you there.
“God, Yeo,” you whine against his mouth, “I’m so close,”
“Don’t stop,” he urges you on.
Your eyes shut tight, and your legs lock around him, he swallows your keening moan with his lips and holds you steady as you shake against him, releasing hard around him. He jerks his hips, thrusting in and out of you and at the sound of your choked moan he takes back control.
He pins you down to his chest, anchoring his feet flat on the mattress, and picks up the pace, fucking you fast and using his hand on your hip to force your body down with each thrust up.
“Oh my god,” your body is still shaking, your release just extended with the sudden feeling of him working inside you, and you grip down, your cheek against his chest where he holds you still.
“Oh fuck,” he pants, “you feel so fucking amazing,”
He’s breathless, slick and desperate, and pulls out of you suddenly, reaching around stroke his cock fast and firm, releasing into his hand a moment later with a groan, his face buried in your shoulder. Yeosang relaxes back against the bedding, his hand on you releasing so he can stoke your back.
It takes you a little time, but eventually you can move your limbs, and you stretch, rolling off him to the side. His eyes are closed, and he breaths softly. For a moment you think he’s asleep, but he murmurs, “So perfect,”
“Mhm,” you sigh, feeling warm and sated. You pull yourself out of bed and Yeosang’s eyes snap open, watching as you move through the room, but he relaxes immediately when he sees that you’re only grabbing him a towel that he can use to clean himself up.
“Thanks,” he sighs, and you crawl back into bed with him slumping back down on his chest and sighing into him.
You float, falling in and out of sleep again as he runs his hand steadily up and down your back, sinking into the steady warm thump of his heartbeat under your cheek.
When you surface from the warm dizzying feeling, you realize Yeosang is already up and pulling his sweats back on. His chest is still flushed red and his brow sticky with sweat, and as he puts his shirt back on he smiles, “Coffee?”
“Mm,” you nod, “but wait, I’ll come with you,”
“I can bring you some?” He offers.
You shake your head, stretching long and rolling out of bed, searching the floor for your sleep shorts and adjusting your top, “No, it’s okay, I’m a little hungry too, I was going to check the fridge.”
He smiles again, “Okay,”
When you finally find your shorts again and pull them on, you shake out your hair and tie it back to keep it out of your face. Yeosang steps close to you, resting a hand on your hip so he can lean in and kiss you again.
The kitchen is still quiet, and you can hear some of the boys upstairs or in their respective rooms, but so far for the morning no one has ventured out into the common areas. Hongjoong is absent from his spot on the couch, and so you and Yeosang have a little more time together.
“What are you in the mood for?” He asks you, poking his head into the fridge and sifting through things.
“Hmm,” you sigh, thinking as you turn on the espresso machine, “something light and easy, I think?”
He nods and reaches in, “We have some fruit, cut melon and pineapple?”
“Perfect,”
You flick on the kettle for his tea and glance over to see him arranging a small bowl for you, popping a section of honeydew in his mouth as he does. A noise clicks on the espresso machine to indicate it’s ready for use, and you go through the motions of queueing up your shots for an americano. From behind, Yeosang wraps his arms around you and kisses your bare shoulder.
He kisses the column of your neck, your ear, your cheek, “This morning was nice,”
You rest your hands over his, watching the espresso cups fill and relaxing into him, “It really was,”
“I think we might have to add that to our morning routine,” he jokes.
“I’m not complaining,” you sigh, pouring the espresso over ice in your glass.
Yeosang watches you make the coffee, still holding you close, but as soon as you finish and set the glass to the side, he’s maneuvering you in his arms again. He spins you around easily, pushing you back into the countertop and kisses you fast, his tongue against yours in a second.
“Mm,” you mumble against his mouth, “Yeosang,”
“Yes, love?” He kisses down your neck again, his hands tight on your sides and you loop your arms around his shoulders, sinking one hand into his hair.
“Kiss me again,”
He shifts up immediately, capturing your lips again and holds you tight against the firm plane of his muscular chest. You hold onto his shoulders as he dips you backwards, and when your footing slips just a bit at the angle he shifts a hand down to hold your hips steady, fingertips tightening on the fabric of your shorts.
He kisses you hard again, leaving you breathless just like before, and you stammer a moan against his mouth. You break from his lips to catch your breath and laugh, “Yeo, you’re going to make me want to take you back to bed if you keep kissing me like that,”
He kisses you again, “That doesn’t really seem like a problem,” his words are mumbled against your mouth.
Your hand slides back on the countertop where you’re bracing yourself and you hear a clatter when the sugar bowl tips over, the spoon clinking loudly and your hand skidding through the mess. He pulls you back up, holding you better against him as he stands up straight, and slips a hand down to cup your ass and lift you up just the perfect amount to comfortably keep your lips on his.
“What is it with you and making out in the kitchen?” Wooyoung’s voice cuts through and you immediately pull away from Yeosang’s mouth, his hands loosen and let you drop back to your feet, and he clears his throat and takes a step away from you.
“Morning,” you manage.
Yeosang steps away fully now, a blush on his cheeks as he avoids his best friend’s eyes, but he glances back to you with a warm smile. When you look back to Wooyoung, immediately you realize how little you’re wearing. His eyes flick over your body now that Yeosang isn’t blocking his view, and he smirks at the sight of your bare legs and the way your hardened nipples show through the thin fabric of your sleep top.
Pink blush blooms on your cheeks and chest, and Wooyoung looks between you and Yeosang. His eyebrow quirks, and it’s clear to you that he knows you’ve just slept together, but he doesn’t say anything about it, merely gives Yeosang a look before dropping it entirely.
“Morning,” he moves into the kitchen alongside you, snagging the iced americano off the counter, “this for me?”
“Uh,” you’re still a little flustered by the whole encounter and he takes your silence as a yes.
“Thanks,” he shakes the glass, ice cubes clinking.
“Woo,” Yeosang says, his voice flat, “you can’t just steal her coffee,”
“That’s true,” Wooyoung hands the glass back to you and smiles, a little wolfish and you know he’s about to say something more. He does, “I’m sure you didn’t get much sleep, you probably need this more than I do.”
“Oh my god,” you take the glass, smacking his arm, “and here I thought you were going to be nice for once.”
“I’m always nice,” he fires back.
“Sure,”
At the sound of more of the boys moving into the common areas you blush harder, and Wooyoung’s eyes flick down again to your breasts.
“Oh, stop that,” you cross your arms over your chest, and he laughs.
“What? You look hot,” Wooyoung grins.
Yeosang pushes his friend aside and hands you the creamer for your coffee, and without a word he drops one of his zip up sweatshirts over your shoulders. You push your arms through the sleeves and pull it on, zipping it up and feeling immediately more comfortable.
“Thank you,” you murmur to Yeosang, and he shrugs.
“You looked cold,” You know he sensed your discomfort, the idea of being so exposed in front of all of them at once a little too much at this stage. Wooyoung smiles at Yeosang and goes to make himself an americano of his own.
“Well,” you take a sip of your coffee, “I’m going to go shower,”
“Don’t forget to eat,” Yeosang catches your hand as you start to walk past the island.
“Oh,” you remember the fruit and smile at him, “I will as soon as I’m done,”
He nods and you share a warm smile, the lingering feeling of his hand on your arm different now that you’ve spent the morning together. As you make a beeline for the bathroom to get cleaned up, you hear a smack, and Wooyoung makes an annoyed whine. You stifle your laughter, and you can picture Yeosang clapping the back of his head firmly. As you slip into the bathroom you hear his voice, “You don’t have to try and embarrass her,”
Wooyoung makes a huffed noise, but you shut the bathroom door and miss the rest, just grateful for Yeosang and the way he seems to always notice exactly what you need without asking. You shower quickly and move through the motions of getting ready, the warm water reminding you just how exhausted you still are. By the time you’re done, the house is up and bustling.
Seonghwa lounges on the couch, feet up on the coffee table with his legs crossed at the ankle and when he catches your eye he smiles warmly, “Morning!”
“Hi,” you look past him into the kitchen, but you don’t see Yeosang anymore.
“Yeosang said I should make you eat this,” Seonghwa gestures to the bowl of fruit on the table and waves you over, “so come here,”
You collapse on the couch, leaning into Seonghwa’s chest and snagging the bowl of fruit. “Want any?” You ask him.
He wraps an arm around you and shakes his head, “No, no, you have it.”
He’s reading something on his phone, flicking through social media, and as you start to eat, he smooths a hand up and down your arm, warming you up and keeping you close. You yawn, wide, and sigh.
“Tired?” He glances over to you.
“Mhm,” you finish off another piece of fruit.
“Can I get you anything?” He asks.
You shake your head, “When are you going to the studio?”
He checks the time on his phone, “A little over an hour,”
“Yeosang said I should come if I was free,” you yawn again.
“Are you sure you don’t just want to stay here and actually have a day off?” He offers.
“No,” you lean your head on his shoulder, “I want to come.”
He pauses, looking you over, and then takes the nearly empty bowl from your hands, leaning forwards and setting it back on the table. “Then how about you get a little rest and I’ll wake you when we need to leave?”
You’re about to say no, but when you sigh another half yawn he gives you a look, there’s no use fighting him, he’s going to make you rest. You ease down to lay flat, and he smooths your hair back as you snuggle into his thigh. He drops a blanket over you from the back of the couch, and softly strokes your hair to ease you into sleep.
You’re hazy and dropping off when you hear Yeosang again. “Did she eat?” he asks.
“Mhm,” Seonghwa’s quiet, the warmth of his voice above you, “I’m just getting her to rest a bit before practice,”
“That’s good,” Yeosang’s voice moves from behind the couch to the side, “she really needs it,”
A warm kiss is pressed to your temple, and you recognize the lips. Yeosang kisses you tenderly, and then backs up, moving to sit where your legs are curled up on the next cushion. With Seonghwa’s fingers in your hair and Yeosang’s hand lovingly stroking your leg, you rest for just a little while longer.
💌 - taglist: @butterfliesinthenightsky @stitch3s @flowerboykun @theartofhotchinthesnow @spookydanielle @mangislovur @inarinabina @justanotherkpopstanlol @parkurhope @bikou0327 @teti-menchon0604 @becauseiloveyunho @stardustmoonlightteaandbooks @yeosangsbiceps @auhhrii @multifandomizer @softsugababes @amazingly-amazing-loser @bangtanxberm @nyxmoon @xosim @arkive78 @elk-1998 @tenebrisirae @mysticfire0435 @jo-hwaberry @ddeonghwva @meginthebuilding27 @sookacc @noonaishere @lucenchan @asjkdk @yunhosprettyhand @realliquanzhe @simplyaghostsworld @blueevelvt @8tinytings
reminder -- chapter fourteen is also posted today for the special double chapter update!! go check it out~
#into the aurora fic#into the aurora series#ateez fic#ateez series#ateez ff#ateez#ateez x reader#ot8 x reader#hongjoong#seonghwa#yunho#yeosang#san#mingi#wooyoung#jongho#hongjoong x reader#seonghwa x reader#yunho x reader#yeosang x reader#san x reader#mingi x reader#wooyoung x reader#jongho x reader#ateez smut#ateez fluff
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hi liv!! i've been following your blog for years and it's always been such a comfort to me, thank you for all you do!!
i got broken up with this week, and i'm taking it very hard. it's my first real breakup and no one's fault, so it's just horribly sad. do you have any recs that are just soothing and soft at this time? just anything that will make me feel like things will be okay
no worries at all if not, i know this isn't exactly specific and you must be busy <3
Oh darling, I’m so sorry to hear that 💔 I’ve been there and I know it’s not easy but you’ll get through it! Give yourself time to grieve and rest over the weekend. I’m sending warm hugs, hopefully these will help soothe your heart. I’d also recommend dustmouth’s incredible comic stories, they’re my go-to comfort food!
Market Saturdays by iota (M, 3k)
In which Harry is an accidental part-time cheesemonger, Draco is an organic farmer and they fall in love. Not an AU.
The Long Fall by tackytiger (M, 3.6k)
It's supposed to be a simple house renovation, and maybe it's just the paint fumes, but Harry is feeling dizzy around Draco Malfoy. And what's the real meaning of family, anyway?
Life goes not backward by shealwaysreads (T, 9k)
Harry still isn’t used to gifts, but this one is different. A story of coming home, finding safe ground, and the wild courage of putting down roots.
fine i'll hold my breath / til i forget it's complicated by teatrolley (NR, 11k)
Harry and Draco become friends with benefits, and Harry thinks it's more complicated than it actually is.
the way you make me glow by softlystarstruck (M, 11k)
In a cottage next to the sea, love blossoms. Or perhaps it’s been there all along.
warmest part of the winter by warmfoothills (T, 11k)
It’s not even a balcony, it’s just a window with a bit of a ledge, and Draco’s read Shakespeare anyway, he knows how this one ends.
How We Throw Our Shadows Down by thistle_verse (T, 14k)
Draco has finally found the perfect, rare piece to complete his collection. The only problem is that the item belongs to Harry Potter, the last wizard on earth Draco wants to ask another favour from.
Yours Truly by skeptique (M, 15k)
Every single one of Harry’s exes has gone on to marry the next person they date, and with the upcoming nuptials of numbers six and seven to each other, Harry’s feeling exhausted by it all. It doesn’t really matter if he lets people assume Draco Malfoy is his boyfriend for a moment of peace. In any case, Draco’s been away for five years and there’s no way he would find out, right?
Sourdough by academicdisaster (M, 17k)
Draco writes romance novels and doesn't leave his apartment much. Harry bakes bread and sells it to Draco. Draco is quite weird. Harry might like that.
The Snitch-Maker by Omi_Ohmy (T, 21k)
Draco is content with his Snitches, with the tap tap tap of his hammer, and the tiny gears and sharp scent of metal in his workshop - until one day Harry Potter appears, asking for help to solve a rash of Snitch-tampering in the Quidditch world.
Nice Things by aideomai (M, 22k)
The first thing that happened was Theodore Nott came back from France.
On the Turning Away by blamebrampton (G, 25k)
It's one thing to be good at not making a besotted fool of yourself over a man when he's busy being the most famous wizard in the world and you're tucked away quietly in Wiltshire. It's quite another when you have to see him every morning.
Open For Repairs by FeelsForBreakfast (M, 35k)
After the war, Draco works at a tv repair shop and Harry breaks things.
Eager for the Sky by oknowkiss (M, 35k)
It was announced, just as the Triwizard Tournament had been, at the start of term feast. A year-long, international Quidditch varsity match — the inaugural Wizarding Academy Cup.
Follow the Water by xanthippe74 (T, 38k)
Harry Potter’s life is fine. Maybe a little dull and predictable, but he shouldn’t complain about that, right? When he unexpectedly finds himself at Luna’s house one afternoon, Harry gets invited to join the secret wonderland that she’s creating with a surprising group of friends. Maybe a summer outdoors is just what a former hero needs to bring some zest back into his life.
And if you’re in the mood for long fics:
Like Lightning at Your Fingertips by potterwatch (T, 43k)
The problem with living with another insomniac is, eventually, they find out you’re one, too. When Harry and Draco return for their eighth year, they think they’ll see very little of each other. Then McGonagall assigns them to room together. And the castle starts breaking. And there’s that thing with Potter’s magic.
A Room Up There (And You In It) by thestarryknight (T, 59k)
When Preservationist Draco Malfoy was assigned to work on Number Twelve, Grimmauld Place, he was excited to delve into the gorgeous Black family antiques. His excitement quickly ended when something in the House decided it did not like his presence one bit. Featuring a grumpy antiques lover who most certainly did not sign up for this, encounters with a vengeful apparition, and a healthy application of Christmas spirit.
Little Deaths and How to Avoid Them (or Draco Malfoy's Guide to Stop Dying and Start Living Instead) by nerakrose and dustmouth (T, 96k)
Malfoy is way too interested in coroner reports for somebody who's definitely not looking for ways to die, Harry wants to be friends with him, and Ginny wants to break up with Harry.
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Finally got a chance to watch Ruan Mei's Myriad Celestia trailer! What a beautiful video. I hope I win my 50/50 while pulling for her.
A few thoughts:
She says "plum blossoms (梅花) bloom and wither", and I can't help but think of the double meaning where the plum blossoms would refer to her, Ruan Mei (阮梅). In her eyes, life is transient and to live is to be lonely... though the way I see it, that's part of what makes life so beautiful. It's what you make out of life that makes your life meaningful.
We all saw the connections to Shuhu, or if not Shuhu then at least some other kind of abomination of the Abundance on "No Man's Land" right? That is undoubtedly a reference.
Other people have already pointed out that these look like Blade's eyes, and it's pretty well established among people that Mihoyo/Hoyoverse does not play around with stuff like coincidences. It's definitely intentional, and there's absolutely a connection.
The design reminds me of the eyes from the Herrscher of the Void in Honkai Impact 3rd, though I don't know enough about that game or its lore to comment anything else there.
"I understood the vastness of the universe too early[...] birth, growth, death... lamenting the process of life is the origin of my thinking." A lot to unpack here.
More importantly to me, I get where she's coming from. Her train of thought follows, if life is meant to die anyways, what's the point of existing/living? It's too hard to comprehend. There's no simple answer for something like that, and people dedicate their lives to finding answers or making satisfactory responses of their own.
The "pure" thing she's trying to achieve, the "fundamental" research she's looking for, the "mysteries of the universe" and "deeper answers"... it's likely something above the realm of life and beyond the laws of nature, born out of her laments.
It becomes quickly obvious that Ruan Mei's research is investigating the Abundance Propagation, especially given her interest in biological sciences.
"It is born of wonder, does not resist, and does not grieve." Is... is she talking about the fucking critters? My bet's on "it" being kind of artificial life-form, and the critters are the only thing I can think of right now that's relevant to her character and what we know about the next update.
In quotes: "It asked me... where does the research end...?" Why is the "it asked me" part quoted too in the subtitles? Is this going to be a line in a quest? Regardless, Ruan Mei's pursuit of that which transcends mortal bounds is... probably where her research will end. Depends on if she'll ever make it that far, who knows?
In pointing out the color in life then saying "it has nothing to do with me", she establishes distance between herself and her mortality. Which. I mean. When you live in a universe where what must have been long thought to be impossible has become probable, and an individual can outlive the rise and fall of civilizations, I guess she's not wrong. She could be effectively immortal if she wanted to; think of her colleagues, Herta and Screwllum. But that's such a sad way to look at life, detaching yourself from caring at all... nothing to lose, nothing to gain, so she says. What an objective approach to everything. No care for the details at all.
The part I think that caught the most attention: "dissect Remembrance, control Equilibrium, deconstruct Beauty, and reproduce Permanence" via manipulation of life. A lot to say here too, but I can workshop that in another post.
Obviously, these refer to the various Aeons, in order being Fuli, HooH, Idrila, and Long, the latter two of which are dead.
The subtitles censor the word, but it's rather clear she says "perhaps I, too, can become an Aeon". At least, it's clearly heard in the English version.
In the Chinese video what I ended up hearing was "成为星" (literally means become a star) but the subtitles say "成为██", which indicates she actually meant to say something else and is missing a second character. Aeon in Chinese is 星神 (star god), so it's more likely than not that the word she said here is Aeon.
I don't even know with the Japanese dub, man. I turned on subtitles and saw the ██, but thought I heard 「イーオン」 (aeon, but with a Japanese accent). I don't play in Japanese dub so I have no clue if they say 星神 as Aeon read with katakana or as the way it's intended to be pronounced in Japanese.
I'm of the opinion that Ruan Mei doesn't actively want to be an Aeon. To begin with, her interests don't have to do with ascending to the position of one anyways, but rather, being an Aeon brings her a step closer to what she actually wants to achieve: finding the secrets within the universe. She can work towards that goal even without becoming an Aeon.
She points out that children behave better when given rewards, and at the end of the video mentions she'll reward her "assistant"/the Trailblazer. I get where she's coming from, but that is such wild whiplash to end on.
Great video, 10/10, would watch again. I did. In three of the four languages the video was officially released in... I don't understand Korean. The people casted for her voice did a fantastic job. Looking forward to seeing her soon, and good luck to everyone pulling!
#honkai: star rail#hsr#recall and retrieve#ruan mei#love her but fell in love again#this video does a good job at highlighting the charm of her chatacter#awaiting the next update and her release!#put the read more thingy there to make scrolling easier#for the people who don't wanna deal with annoying long posts
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Day 63: Racing, and Statues
There are a fair few Gorons at Hudson's jobsite, including Trucson and Sanson. Sanson says YunoboCo has sent across some workers to clear the debris and unearth Zonai artefacts. I wonder if Gorons have started naming their children '-son' to get them jobs here.
I meet a Zonai researcher in the office, Setari. She says this is no place for civilians - too dangerous. Good thing there are none of those here, then.
There's hubbub in the workshop. Shabonne and Tali are arguing with the researcher Fernison, and say they were tricked into coming here from the desert to drive a unique vehicle - but the prototype hasn't been a success. Fernison's been making vehicles out of Zonai devices, and they wanted help from professional racers. Shabonne is frustrated, but Tali wants to give it a try.
I remember Tali from the old days - she's an incredibly racer, and I hope to try to beat her high scores again. I wonder if the old course is still up near Gerudo Town.
I offer Fernison a steering stick - it seems to be the one piece of debris this place is in need of. I attach it to their prototype to demonstrate. Shabonne demands I take the first turn, to show them how it works. Delighted to! Fernison turns on the test course.
The vehicle is so slow… but the three of them seem excited. Fernison asks me to come back tomorrow for the next phase. I make no promises - it's still pretty early in the day, and I have a lot on my plate.
I spot a monster camp nearby, don my bokoblin helmet, and go and get that photo for Kilton. The bokoblin almost looks like it's smiling. I don't kill it. It doesn't seem fair. I head back up to Tarrey Town to deliver the result.
Hudson knocks up a pretty good replica from my photo, and I set it on Kilton's stage.
Teamwork! Kilton asks for a horriblin next - for that, I need a cave. I wonder if there's a Satori blossom tree anywhere nearby?
I head up the hill past my new house and aim loosely for the base of the Zora Highlands, looking for blossom or caves. I rescue a traveller at dusk, Nars. He doesn't want to have to have been rescued, so I leave him to it. Maybe he should move on from here though - I've just spotted a white-maned lynel. He doesn't see me, and I give him a wide berth.
I spend most of the night carting a korok to its friend, and I realise I've managed to wander all the way to the coast - I recognise the chain of islands connected with bridges to the east.
I don't really want to head over to those islands in the rain - they used to be death traps, and if I can't climb I'll get into trouble. I wander the nearby hills, undecided, until dawn.
#totkdaily#day 63#love kilton's project but good GRIEF im gonna get so distracted every time#totk#loz#zelda#legend of zelda
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Best Underrated Anime Group I Round 1: #I2 vs #I7
#I2: Three girls start a fun club and get into shit
During recess, Olivia, a foreign transfer student who doesn’t know English, plays a game of “look-the-other-way” with Hanako Honda, a loudmouthed airhead. Their rowdy behavior spurs the ire of Kasumi Nomura, a deadpan loner constantly teased by her older sister for her tendency to lose games.
Not willing to compete, Kasumi declines Olivia’s offer to join the fun, but eventually gets involved anyway and dispenses her own brand of mischief. Soon, a strange friendship blossoms between the peculiar trio, and they decide to form the “Pastime Club,” where they are free to resume their daily hijinks.
#I7: Older brother plays catch-up with his younger sibling
On a fateful summer night in 2006, Mutta Nanba and his younger brother Hibito witness what they believe to be a UFO flying toward the Moon. This impressing and unusual phenomenon leads both siblings vowing to become astronauts, with Hibito aiming for the Moon and Mutta, convinced that the eldest brother has to be one step ahead, for Mars.
Now an adult, life hasn't turned out how Mutta had pictured it: he is diligently working in an automotive company, whereas Hibito is on his way to be the very first Japanese man to step on the Moon. However, after losing his job, Mutta is presented with an unexpected opportunity to catch up to his younger brother when the Japanese Aerospace Exploration Agency, commonly known as JAXA, accepts his application to participate in the next astronaut selection. Despite self-doubts about his prospects, Mutta is unwilling to waste this chance of a lifetime, and thus embarks on an ambitious journey to fulfill the promise made 19 years ago.
Titles, propagandas, trailers, and poll under the cut!
#I2: Asobi Asobase - workshop of fun -
youtube
Propaganda:
It’s really funny and hilarious and kind of hard to pin down the demographic and who they were trying to get to watch the show because the girls uniforms are ugly, they make ugly faces and funny noises, and one of the main characters has a strong fear/disgust of men. I live and then I had a really fun time watching it because it’s so out of pocket with the stuff they do.
Trigger Warnings: Gender Identity/Sexuality Discrimination.
One character is implied to be a trans girl and is called out for it by the main characters in a way that suggests they are uncomfortable with it. Her boyfriend is okay with it, though.
#I7: Space Brothers (Uchuu Kyoudai)
youtube
Propaganda:
Have you ever wanted to see adults pursue their dreams in anime, even those they abandoned along the way? Do you enjoy space or the arduous process to become an astronaut? Do you like characters being so well-rounded while still being positive even if they fail? Well, this series is exactly that, but with a touch more wholesomeness. Ranging from comedic moments to heartfelt revelations, this series feels so grounded in reality while still having that air of positivity around it, it just motivates you to follow any dream you might currently have. It is a long journey, almost 100 episodes, but it uses it well to flesh out not only the main pair, but many of the side characters, each coming from different backgrounds. A very character driven story that sometimes doesn’t shy in mentioning the risks of space exploration, but also presents us with the marvel and importance of it.
Trigger Warnings: Discussion of possible death. It’s not in depth, but there were moments where they did discuss the possibility of death since it has a high risk of happening in space.
If you’re reblogging and adding your own propaganda, please tag me @best-underrated-anime so that I’ll be sure to see it.
#anime#best underrated anime#polls#poll tournament#tournament#anime tournament#animation#animated show#group stage#group stage round 1#tournament polls#group i#asobi asobase#workshop of fun#asobi asobase - workshop of fun -#space brothers#uchuu kyoudai
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join us in our next workshop on BEST FRIENDS & THE LOVE THEY BRING INTO OUR LIVES💞
held as a birthday celebration for dear friend & co-founding Orchardist, Blossom🌸���� all ticket sales go to her!!!
tag your bestie and come write poems about how much you appreciate each other!
💝 £1 - £15 / sign up here 💝
#poetry#writeblr#writing prompts#poetry community#poets on tumblr#creative writing#creative writing workshop#writers on tumblr#poetry on tumblr#poetry blog#poetry writing#poems#prose#spilled ink#web weaving#on best friends#on friends#platonic love#qpp#on platonic love
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30 Covers, 30 Days 2023: Day 11
Representing day 11 is a page turner of a novel! Get it? Let's introduce Turning the Page by Jess King, a LGBTQ+ novel. This cover was designed by the amazing returning designer, Rachel Gogel!
Turning the Page
Ellie and Ryan meet when Ellie escapes her hometown for the small town she grew up in. The two women have seemingly nothing in common, but both have a passion for keeping Ellie's grandmother's bookstore alive. Romance blossoms between them as they get the bookstore back into fighting shape, but when family drama threatens the bookstore's longevity, the two women team up to prevent its closure.
About the Author
The author is currently keeping their identity a secret!
About the Designer
Rachel Gogel is a Parisian creative director, designer, educator, and speaker based in San Francisco, California. Currently, she runs her own independent consultancy practice as a solopreneur where her approach is informed by experiences both in-house and agency side. As a fractional design executive and queer leader, Rachel believes in fostering inclusive spaces that unlock human potential. Specifically, she is committed to designing teams that build brands — with a focus on culture and technology. Over the last fifteen years, Rachel has led major initiatives at GQ, The New York Times, Meta, Godfrey Dadich, Departures, Airbnb, and Dropbox. Beyond this, Rachel seeks to influence the next creative generation as a design educator at the California College of the Arts (CCA) and as the Women in Leadership & Design (WILD) Chair on the AIGA SF Board of Directors. She is also an avid public speaker, workshop facilitator, and mentor on ADPList and Talk To A Creative Director. All of these platforms amplify Rachel's commitment to supporting women- and nonbinary-led causes and addressing gender-based disparities in the design industry.
Rachel Gogel
she/her/hers
Independent Design Executive & Educator
https://www.linkedin.com/in/rachelgogel/
rachelgogel.com
@rgogel (Threads, Instagram, X)
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Went to a Nerikiri Workshop today (these wagashi sweets made from white bean paste, we formed a peach blossom, a prince & princess!) and girl next to me who speaks perfect japanese was like .."i see you👀" pointing to my phone case-
anyway randomly found another DL stan today lmao had a good talk today xD
#workshop was held by japanese women in Kimono who gave us fresh sakura mochi & matcha afterwards it was so cool!#and after the workshop new friend & me went to eat some Takoyaki and then to the korean cafe ✨💖#i love the Takoyaki mini restaurant so muchh theyre so good and their sign is the japanese clown mask you might know from demon slayer!😆#goooood day today#diabolik lovers#personal
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Ro moved to Canada for a new beginning, only to meet his fated pairs. CW: none yet, but there will be smut. MDNI **************************************** HOWL
He arrived in Deline pretty early in the morning. It was a really small place, and no matter how much he looked, he couldn't find “Punks repair and tune ups”. Ro moved to Canada as he wanted a change in his life, something new. He already got a new job in a car repair workshop.
At the very least, he saw a bakery that was open, so he bought a coffee and asked the man at the register if he knew where it could be. “Sorry to break it to you, but you gotta go deep into the forest. It's at least another ten kilometres. But all you have to do is follow the path.” Ro sighed in defeat, he only just arrived, and he was already annoyed; this feels like information that should have been mentioned. ‘At least I packed light.’ Was all he could think when he picked up his duffle bag and started walking. Everything was quiet and peaceful around him. There was still some snow left that was slowly melting away, and the thick trees started to blossom. He took a deep breath and just enjoyed the fresh air that hit his nostrils. ‘I wonder if anyone back home even noticed that I left?’ Whenever he talked about something, people would just talk over him, and most of the time, he is quiet, and then people complain that he should talk more, it annoyed him to no end.
Ro didn't know if it was because in the forest by himself, but he felt watched even though nothing was there. Just to be sure, though, he increased his speed, and soon enough, he saw a big black house. He opened the door to the garage “Hello? Is there anyone here?” He barely managed to finish that sentence when he noticed a threatening Aura appearing behind him. He slowly turned around, and his doe eyes met striking, piercing blue eyes that almost left him speechless. “Uh. Hi, I'm Ro, I'm supposed to start here today.” Ro held his arms in front of his breast and started playing with the sleeves of his grey sweatshirt. It's what he does when he is nervous or feels like he did something wrong. The tall man in front of him had long blonde hair and wore a white - blue striped mask that covered the lower part of his face, while the upper half was covered by long bangs but his eyes were so blue there was no hiding them.
“Did you lie on your resume?” He asked, looking him up and down. Ro sighed ‘Here it comes.’ Everyone had to go back to it sooner or later. “No I haven't. I'm a man, it's just I had no choice with what gender I was born.” Killer nodded in understanding “Are you hungry? There's still some minor details we have to discuss, and we can do so while eating breakfast.” The tall Blonde led Ro upstairs into the Kitchen. “You can sit over there. What do you want to eat? We have eggs, bacon, and muesli. Take your poison.” Ro sat down at 5he table like he was told, but grew quickly restless. “ I take what you are having. Are you sure I can't help with anything?” He heard a faint chuckle coming from the blonde guy, almost as if he was trying to suppress it. “Ah sorry, I'm so used to doing the food by myself in the kitchen. Yes, you can set the table and make coffee for at least four people five if you want some too. We also have juice in the fridge.” Ro quickly set the table for five people and made the coffee. Luckily, he found everything rather easy. Pancakes, the blonde dream boy, made pancakes his favourite. Ro was already drooling after him. “Name's Killer, by the way.” He quickly declared while sitting down next to him.
“I have some more questions if that's OK. First of all, I should tell you that up here is our living space. It's just me, Wire, Heat, and Kidd living here, and we still have space. In fact, I think you and Heat could share a room for now if you still need somewhere to stay. Oh, but wait, I'm sorry if this is uncomfortable, but what is your second gender?” Ro got a little nervous he actually never got tested as he never had anyone in his life caring enough about him to talk to him about second genders, but seeing how he never experienced any symptoms of a heat cycle or rut he figured that meant he was a beta. “A Beta. And no, I don't have a place to stay, so if it's OK I would like to live here. ” He tried to sound as sure as possible, but he wasn't sure if he succeeded. “Hmm. That's no problem, I expected as much. Depending on what Heat says, you either stay with him or get your own room. How much experience do you have working with cars?” Ro flinched hearing the last question because, of course, he said how experienced he was, but he couldn't pretend for much longer. “Umm, to be honest, none. I lied. I'm quick at learning though, I promise you won't regret this” Before Killer even had a chance to say anything, a huge mountain of a man sat down opposite of them and growled “But we don't have time to Babysit you. Why would we do that? You are quite useless to us, kitty.” His fiery messy hair and his pale skin that almost looked like porcelain and his captivating ember eyes. Ro was in heaven, but he had to convince him to let him stay. “Kid! At least give him a chance!” Killer did it for him though, it seems that even though Kid seems to be in charge, Killer is the mother of the group, and Noone argues his word. At least, that's what it looks like to Ro. The redhead ate his breakfast without another word and was obviously upset. To Ro, he looked like an angry chihuahua.
“Morning everyone.” A tall man with baby blue dreadlocks walked in . His face looked like a zombie, he wore an oversized sweater and a skirt. He just looked so pretty. The moment they saw each other, both of them started blushing and shyly smiled at each other. “Morning Heat. This is our new guy, Ro. He is also gonna live with us from now on. Can you share a room with him?” Killer told Heat. “Sure thing. As long as Ro doesn't mind that it's a bit messy. Alright, let's go.”
He led Ro out of the kitchen and then turned left and walked down a long hallway that was covered in black wallpaper and had wooden flooring. The black walls had posters of different bands hanging here and there. “The first door to the left is Killers room, the next room is Kidds room. Don't ever enter it, trust me on this. The last room at the end of the hall is empty, so if you ever get uncomfortable with me or need your privacy, use that room. The first room to the right is…” Before he could finish this sentence another tall man walked out of said room and his eyes immediately fell on Ro, he stared at him almost in a predatory style as if he was hunting a prey. “Hi I'm Ro. I'm the new guy.” It was hard to look at him for some reason because it felt like he would devour him if he made the wrong move. “Uh-huh. Wire.” With that, he moved past them. “Damnit! Why are you all so huge? I look like a child next to you.” Ro pouted, but he enjoyed being surrounded by so many sexy men. Heat laughed at that remark and gently patted Ro's head. “Anyway last but not least, this is our room. The bathroom is between ours and Wires room. Except for the one empty room, each room shares a bathroom with another room. I leave you to unpack. Just join us when you are ready.”
After Heat disappeared, Ro could finally focus on the room. The way Heat made it sound it was supposed to be messy, but all he saw was some loose clothing laying here and there. So the room was fairly neat. The walls were covered in painted fires, and the floor was covered in a fluffy soft black carpet. There were bookshelves on the right side of the bed. “How to safely breathe fire” and “The do's and don'ts of fire-breathing “ were among them. What he didn't see was a second bed, though. There was a king-size bed in the middle of the room. “Sharing is caring, I guess? Oh my god.” Ro could feel his heart trying to leave his chest. He just met these guys, but they showed him less hostility and less judgement than anyone has done in his life.
He felt his thoughts creeping in, and he knew if he kept thinking about this, he would cry, and he did not want to give anyone this satisfaction. His mind was racing. All his thoughts were flooding his brain, but his body dysmorphia was screaming the loudest. He hated the fact that everyone assumed he was female, he tried to cover it up by wearing sweatshirts three sizes too big, but his breasts are just too big. He could wear a binder, but he didn't want to blindly buy one as he heard that could be dangerous for rips.
His finger ran through his short maroon hair and took a deep breath. ‘Right. New beginning.’
Meanwhile, in the kitchen. “Did you guys notice that too?” A confused Heat wondered when he sat back down. “Yes!” It came in unison from the others. Everyone except Kidd, he would never admit such things out loud, nor does he believe in fated pairs. To him, his fated pair was Victoria. “He said he is a beta, though, so we have to take his word for it. Keep an eye on him, and when you are alone with him, carefully release your pheromones. Maybe he doesn't know that he is our omega.” Killer said to Heat.
#eustass kid x reader#killer x reader#heat one piece x reader#one piece x reader#wire one piece x reader#one piece fanfiction#a/b/o verse#self ship#eventual smut
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ik u r mostly getting character related asks but sadly i still havent read sad sack so i cant do that BUT i do have another ask!
i have like 3 billion creative projects goin on at any given time and im finally taking the big step to make my most important one actually happen next month, but my other ones just sorta sit there waiting for me to flip the switch and get them going. iirc from the stream with cryptid coven ur comics were more of an impulse thing with friends that blossomed into a bigger idea, but have you ever struggled with getting yourself to push past the brainstorming phase and actually start putting things out there? do you think it gets easier to keep stuff going once its out of your head and into the world, or harder?
sorry if this questions a little weird and specific its just been rollin around in my head lately and i like ur creations a lot so :3
no worries lol sad sack is like Long And Kinda Harrowing no rush! BUT I LOVE ANY ASKS ESPECIALLY TALKIN-SHOP ASKS SO YOURE IN LUCK
the truth is sad sack was a total outlier project cus i had the exact same problem! like id make dozens of show bibles, then get intimidated by the scale of the project, then shelve them indefinitely. sad sack was going "fuck it im just gonna start and then start narrative weaving as i go," sortie was an exercise in more doubling back & editing, & after getting those done (and namely showing myself that i Could get large projects done) i got the confidence to start tackling the project backlog! [email protected] was an ANCIENT story from like 2010 for instance, & the current one lovos4017 ive been workshopping behind the scenes pretty much nonstop since 2013 lol. it absolutely gets easier once you prove to yourself like, hey i Can do it!!! starting with short ones or doing a story where you just go by the seat of your pants is great for building that initial confidence to start chipping into the backlog!
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In the Middle of the Night: Chapter 24
Chapter 24: "Si lo forzás se marchita"
Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30
MASTERLIST
AN: And it’s back! Thank you everyone for your patience. It’s been quite the 2 months. Hopefully, I’ll be able to come back to a regular weekly, or at least Bi-weekly, posting. Happy reading! 🥰
Summary: As Bangtan prepares for a new chapter in their lives, they head to their private property in the forest for a songwriting workshop. As a songwriter and producer they have worked with for years, I’m asked to tag along. I was ready for the heavy workload and small amount of sleep during the workshop week. However, I wasn’t ready for the storm that came that changed my friendship with Namjoon forever.
Pairing: Idol!RM/Namjoon x OFC
Genre: Friends to Lovers, Fluff and Smut
Rating: M (mention of sexual assault, explicit language, sexual scenes in prior chapters)
Status: COMPLETE
Trigger warnings: hurt, heartache, anxiety (there are a lot of feels in this one)
Warnings: a BRIEF description of sexual assault (look for ***)
*****************
I don’t think I have ever cried as much as I did on that first day. There was a tightness in my chest like I was trying to breathe underwater. My ribs felt cracked from the numerous attempts of taking in a full breath. My lungs weren’t getting enough oxygen, the sobbing made it hard to. When my mouth would open, at first I thought it was to absorb the colorless gas my body needed to survive but instead, it was to let out sounds I had never heard myself make. It was a siren-type wail. I felt like La Llorona, searching for the person I cared most for but couldn’t find. Couldn’t find him because the monster inside me had caused him to leave. I had caused the destruction. I had murdered what I treasured most. I was the reason for my own pain.
I wanted nothing more than to call him. I would grovel and beg—whatever he wanted, I would do. Whatever demands he had, I would obediently follow. I would do it all just to have him back. To have him close.
I didn’t care how pathetic I sounded. Didn’t care how wrecked I looked.
I just wanted to breathe again. And he was the source of it.
It was in those first hours of crying out in agony that I realized the truth of what Namjoon had become for me. He had become the most vital chemical element to keep my body alive: oxygen. The little air I was able to inhale felt so wrong, almost poisonous. Rather than healing me, it was slowly killing me.
Fuck, I was so pitiful.
I was in pieces for a guy who didn’t feel the same for me as I did for him. Didn’t see a proper woman he wanted to be with. Didn’t recognize me as a person to respect.
“You’ve given it up easy before.”
Fresh, boiling tears made their way down my overheated face as the words echoed over and over and over. The siren came back out.
My stomach began to cramp from the shaking. My body automatically curled up, trying to ease the pain.
I think that’s how my tia found me.
At first, I didn’t recognize the voice. It sounded too high, too screechy. Tia Jia was normally so calm and sweet sounding. Had it not been for the familiar smell of orange blossom, I wouldn’t have known it was her.
I’m not sure where she found me, but I was certain it wasn’t in my room. I don’t know how I managed to drive myself home that night, but I remember parking. I recall entering my house. I think I might have sat on the couch? The living room was the last thing I remembered physically seeing. Everything after was a blur—literally. The tears made it difficult to see anything.
The next time I recognized my surroundings, I was in my bed.
My head felt like it was splitting into pieces, but I was aware of my aunt holding me. Her scent and embrace sent a bit of warmth through me. When I realized she was there, I only cried harder. It was like I was a toddler and the only way I would feel better was through her touch and words. That’s what moms are for, right? To erase all the pain and make everything better?
I clutched her desperately. Praying she would be able to eradicate the ache.
But after what seemed an eternity, it was still there. The fucking pain was still present. It was the first time in my memory that my tia Jia couldn’t make it better. And this made my chest shatter. The siren in me wailed until my vocals gave.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Sweetheart, you have to eat.”
My tia Jia was sitting next to me in my bed, a tray on her lap.
The motherly strokes on my hair were comforting, but still not enough. It had been a while since my body exhausted itself. Tears were still coming out and my stomach, chest, and head still felt like they had gone through a car crash, but at least the wailing and shaking stopped. I could take normal breaths now, even though it still felt wrong.
“Sweetheart?” Tia Jia’s voice sounded strained, like in pain. I was alert enough to detect it.
There was another kick to the stomach. I felt guilty for my state. It must be tough on her. I could at least answer her. “No, thank you,” I let out. It hurt to speak.
My aunt heard the scratchiness in my voice. “At least have some water. Please.”
She sounded so desperate. I couldn’t say no. I lifted my hand, motioning for the water.
She quickly handed me the flask, which thankfully had a straw attached to it. I wouldn’t have to sit up to drink from it. Bringing the straw to my lips, I took a sip. My throat and dehydrated skin welcomed it. I was about to put it back down, but my logical mind forced my mouth to take at least one more long sip.
Closing the straw, I set down the flask next to me.
There was silence for a while again. The only thing I could feel was my tia’s touch on my hair and face.
Finally, she spoke up. “Do you want to talk about it?”
Warm, new tears flowed down my cheeks.
“Did something happen with Namjoon?” she asked, gently.
I sniffed. “He broke it off.”
She let out a pained sigh. “Why?”
“I can’t do this, Maya. I can’t be in a relationship where it’s just about sex. I want more.”
New sobs began to make their way through my chest and traveled up my throat and down my eyes. “I’m not what he wants.”
It felt like a knife cut into my chest again. My old wounds still had not healed, so they quickly reopened.
Many years ago I developed a crush on Namjoon. I was quick to recognize it. However, for many reasons, I suppressed those emotions. One of those reasons had been that I knew I wasn’t his type. Physically or emotionally. Sure, he had eventually found me attractive and he started to develop a crush on me back. But he had realized last night I wasn’t built to be someone he could have a relationship with.
Namjoon was someone who loved to talk about philosophy and the human condition. We shared plenty of deep conversations, but I had never been able to fully let him in. There would always be a wall that prevented him from fully entering. And I just couldn’t take it down.
I explained little bits to my tia Jia about what Namjoon had said. I mentioned how my mother had called about the fucker. I admitted that I was still unable to talk to Namjoon about the incident and I wasn’t entirely sure if I wanted to tell him about it. It was because of all my issues that made Namjoon not want me.
I curled into a ball as I finished my story to my tia. My stomach aches were starting again and my heart was racing pretty fast.
My tia applied some pressure on my chest. “Breathe, sweetheart. Breathe.”
I followed her instructions. It took a few minutes but I had settled down again.
When my aunt felt safe to speak again, she did. “Sweetheart…what is keeping you from being fully transparent with Namjoon?”
I gave a pathetic shrug and didn’t answer. I knew it was a childish response.
“Well, I think it would be a good thing to figure out, don’t you think so?” she lightly pressed.
“Even if I did open up, I’m not what he wants, tia,” I mumbled.
“Now what would make you say that?” There was a bit of chiding in her tone.
“Because he’s known me for how long and I just now started catching his eye? He only became interested in me because I was the only girl around him who was available. After his bad break up, he’s been looking for a rebound.” I was finally voicing fleeting thoughts I had had in the starting part of my relationship with Namjoon. These thoughts had never lingered for too long, but in a state of complete low, my self-pity was scrapping for any negativity it could find.
My aunt wasn’t about to let me swim in that self-pity, though. “That breakup happened two years ago. His rebound was that girl he dated briefly earlier in the year. You are not his rebound.”
There was silence again.
My brain internally battled with my broken heart. Logically, I believed my tia Jia’s words, but the ache in my chest was marinading in the words that had shattered me.
“You’ve given it up easily before, whatever. I’m not that way.”
“The fact that…you did that with me…. I just don’t know how to feel about that.”
“We started this wrong. But like a fucking horndog, I gave in.”
“I can’t even say we can go back to being friends because I can’t. I can’t and won’t go back to that. I respect myself too much.”
“He still doesn’t want to be with me,” I said as my throat tightened. “It doesn’t matter if I tell him what he wants to hear. At the end of the day, my self-respect apparently doesn’t align with his. I’ll always be the girl who took it up the ass.”
“What?” Tia Jia asked, thrown off.
I hadn’t shared this piece of information with my aunt. The detail was a little too intimate for me to have shared with her. But I had spilled the beans; she couldn’t unhear it and I couldn’t unsay it.
“We had sex before the fight—before my mother called. It was anal.” I felt a flush of embarrassment hit my cheeks and neck, but I continued speaking. “During the fight, he brought up how he valued the act we had committed and I didn’t. I'm just a slut in his eyes.”
“He did not call you that,” my tia said with conviction. But then a beat later, she doubted herself. “Did he?”
“He might as well have,” I said in a small voice.
“Oh, sweetheart,” she said simply. She didn’t say anything else, though. This time, she let me cry and wallow in my self-pity.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I honestly couldn’t remember how that night went. I mostly stayed in my room. My tia stayed the night with me. I caught her a couple of times on my phone. I was sure she was taking care of things for me, not that I had a lot of meetings. I might have had one, but I honestly couldn’t care less about it.
I was grateful she was there to handle it.
I had never felt this vulnerable before. Never been so pathetic. The last time I felt this low had been many years ago when my cousin died. But that had been a different kind of heartache. I dealt with the death mostly in anger. This time, there was no one but me to be angry at.
And as much as I wanted to bathe in self-anger, I couldn’t. Sorrow was all I could feel.
My tia eventually had to leave. “Your Uncle John has an appointment, sweetheart. If you want, I can come right after.”
I shook my head at her. “I’m good.”
She stared at the food next to me on the bed. “At least eat the vegetables, please. You didn’t eat dinner last night and this morning, you only had a few grapes. Lunch was left completely untouched. The least you can do is eat the vegetables.”
I reached out to my plate and grabbed a celery, taking a bite without a word.
“Thank you,” she said genuinely. She began to gather her things. “If you need anything, just go downstairs. Someone’s here to keep an eye on you.”
I wanted to argue with her and tell her I didn’t need looking after. I was positive she had called Jenny, her daughter and my best friend from childhood, to come look after me. However, I knew my tia well enough to know it would do no good.
She came around and gave me a soft kiss. “I’m only a phone call away. Do you want your cell with you?” she asked as she motioned towards my night table.
I shook my head. It was getting close to it being 48 hours since I touched that thing. I wanted to stay away from it for as long as possible.
“Love you,” she said as she disappeared into the hall.
I rolled over and closed my eyes, hoping sleep would come fast.
It did manage to come for several hours but my body had had enough of it. When I woke up, the stars had replaced the sun in the sky. There was a sudden sharp pain in my head. My body was angry at me for neglecting it. I pushed off the bed and felt an immediate cold.
I put on some pajama bottoms and put on thick socks. I think I had showered sometime yesterday because I surprisingly didn’t feel crusty. I touched my hair, feeling it damp. It was the confirmation I needed that I had, in fact showered sometime in the last 24 hours. Sometimes, I tended to put my hair up in a bun right after showering. This only prolonged my thick hair from fully drying.
After applying more layers of clothes and being grateful for not smelling, I took the plate of food that was still on my bed and took my water flask. Maybe I could microwave the food.
As I made my way down the hall, I adjusted the thermostat to warm up the house and went to get my food reheated.
Coming closer to the kitchen, I noticed the lights were on. After entering, I quickly saw the refrigerator open and a person standing behind it. Jenny must be up for a late-night snack.
“Don’t eat the cake; it’s gone bad,” I warned.
“I’m not craving sweets anyway,” came a deep and husky voice.
My heart stopped, panicking. I didn’t recognize the voice right away, so I acted on instinct. I placed down my food and took hold of the nearest, heavy object.
Before I could demand who was in my house, Yoongi’s head popped out from the other side of the fridge.
I let out a heavy and relieved sigh. “Son of a bitch, Yoongi. You scared the shit out of me.” I set down the heavy object, which turned out to be a rather pricey jar. Thank god I hadn’t used it. That would have been an expensive mistake.
He frowned. “I thought eomeonim told you I was here.”
I had completely forgotten I had invited Yoongi and his team to stay at my house. I had mentioned it to my Tia Jia after Yoongi agreed to stay over. The day we decided on Yoongi coming over, I was set to have a meeting. Tia Jia was going to be here to let Yoongi and the two guys in. That must have been last night. Or this morning. Shit, what day were we on?
I rubbed my head, feeling the sharp pain in my head again.
“Hungry?” Yoongi asked, a small hint of concern in his voice.
I nodded. “I was going to heat this up,” I said, motioning to the food.
He stared at the plate for a moment, no emotion given. Then reached over, took it, and placed it away from me. “Want a sandwich?” he asked as he turned around to the refrigerator again.
“It’s fine. I can just heat up the plate.”
“It’s gone bad.”
“Since when are you picky?” I asked, feeling irritated all of a sudden. “I’ve eaten pizza that’s been sitting out for 2 days.”
“Bet your stomach didn’t feel proud about that,” he muttered, taking out ingredients.
“I’m alive still, aren’t I?” I shot back.
He turned to me and did a once-over on me. He shook his head in disbelief. “Have you looked in the mirror? You look like death.”
I flipped him off.
That made him crack a smile. He reached for my water flask and filled it up.
I gladly took it, drinking a long sip.
We were quiet for a while as he put together a sandwich for me. Yoongi and I had eaten together plenty of times, not to mention cooked alongside one another. He knew my preferences.
After a long moment, he finally spoke up. “How you feeling?”
I took a breath, starting to feel my stomach get queasy. “Like shit,” I said genuinely.
I felt his eyes on me. He went still for a long moment, probably assessing what he could and should say.
There was a yearning in me that wanted to ask Yoongi about Namjoon. Fuck, just thinking of his name squeezed at my chest. An image of his beautiful dimples crossed my mind. The cluster of freckles across his nose and eyes would turn into a constellation whenever he smiled a certain way. But then the red eyes that were so full of hurt that night replaced the image, breaking my heart all over again.
The sound of a plate being placed down made me snap to the present. In front of me was a very good-looking sandwich. I knew Yoongi’s skills enough to know it was delicious. Yet, I had little interest in eating it. I knew my body needed to eat, so I took a few bites. I tasted the flavors of the ingredients and knew they were a perfect fusion, but I still felt zero enthusiasm for it. I managed to eat half of it, my stomach somewhat satisfied. After a few more sips of water, I felt the headache start to wear off.
When Yoongi noticed I was done eating, he finally spoke up. “Want to talk about it?”
It was strange because I did and I didn’t. I didn’t want to relive that night. But I also knew I needed to let out my emotions.
I took a breath and tried to control the tears that started to form in my eyes. “I can’t give him what he wants.” Saying the truth out loud hurt a lot more than just thinking about it.
He was silent for a moment before he spoke. “And what does he want?”
The warm tears made their way down. “Not me.”
There was silence for a long moment. The truth lingered in the air and pressed down on me.
After a long moment, Yoongi finally spoke. “Namjoon very rarely goes after something he is not sure about.”
There was almost a somber look on his face. He wasn’t looking at me, but in so many ways, it certainly felt like he was looking right into my eyes.
“He wants you, Maya.”
Conflicting emotions ran through me at hearing this. I knew Yoongi well enough to know that he was always honest. He would never say something he didn’t mean just to spare my feelings or make me feel better. But then Namjoon’s words the other night echoed in my head, telling me that I wasn’t what Namjoon wanted. It was so hard to think clearly.
“You don’t think he does.” Yoongi’s voice was soft and certain.
I gave a short nod, not trusting myself to speak without becoming a sobbing mess.
Yoongi let out a heavy sigh. “Sad.”
I was confused about what he meant by that. But, again, I was too scared to use words at the moment.
He stayed in the kitchen with me as I picked through my food. Eventually, we made our way over to the backyard where he drank his whisky into the night and I curled on the outside couch and looked up into the dark sky. I searched through the constellations, trying to find the freckles that would hopefully give me some solace.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next couple of days passed slowly. My tia called several times, checking on me. I didn’t stay long with her on the phone, finding my throat too sore to speak for too long.
She didn’t push it. For a brief moment, I was a little confused why she wasn’t calling more often or insisting I stay on the phone with her longer. However, I noticed how closely Yoongi observed me. He usually was in the room with me or in the next room. I caught him texting a lot.
He used his phone for researching random facts, watching movies, documentaries, and playing odd mobile games. He had plenty of friends he messaged. Yes, he was usually glued to his phone, but I still noticed he was on it more than usual. I was certain he was keeping Tia Jia up to date about me.
Had his staff been around, I would have felt embarrassed about being treated like some fragile kid, but thankfully, Yoongi had sent them away insisting they explore the city on their own. A part of me wondered if they had heard about my walk of shame. Did they hear about how I had left Namjoon’s hotel room looking like some cheap whore?
The sting lingered throughout my chest, cracking my ribs.
“Wanna go for a walk?” Yoongi asked, pulling me away from my heartache.
It was night and I lived in a secluded area. Even if we came across other people, they wouldn’t be able to see us clearly. They wouldn’t notice Yoongi. I thought for a moment, debating with myself. I hadn’t left my house in days; hadn’t seen other faces. I had been bathing in my self-pity for many nights. Maybe it was time I snapped out of it. A walk would be good.
After nodding, we got ourselves ready and headed toward the beach.
We walked along the sand for a long while, and no words were said.
Eventually, Yoongi spoke. “How you feeling?”
Since the first night he had arrived, he asked me this towards the end of the day.
I gave a shrug. “A little better.”
He gave a nod. “Have you gone through your messages yet?” he asked carefully.
I had confessed to him yesterday morning I hadn’t looked through my messages since that night. I was scared to see Namjoon’s name on it—I couldn’t deal with reading through his words. Would they cut deeper? Bury me lower than I already was?
But what if he hadn’t written me? Somehow, his sending me nothing would be much worse.
Looking through my messages right now wouldn’t do me any good. I shook my head.
Yoongi let out a heavy sigh, similar to the one he had given the other night.
The scene replayed in my head and I remembered my unspoken question. I couldn’t ask it that night, but I could tonight. “What did you mean when you said ‘sad’ the other night?”
Yoongi was quiet for a moment. It was like he was thinking about his words carefully before speaking to them out loud. “I find it sad that you’re not allowing someone to truly see you.”
I was too stunned by his words to give a vocal response. My head turned to him, wondering if he was going to further elaborate.
He did. Keeping his eyes ahead, he continued his walk and I kept up. “As a friend of yours, I’ve seen parts of you—some of them aren’t great qualities—and still, I love you.”
Tears came to my eyes. It was rare to hear Yoongi tell me he loved me. Any time he did, it would move me because I knew it wasn't easy for him.
“You’ve been around Namjoon during some of his bad moments; moments that would paint him negatively. Do you feel differently about him—knowing and witnessing his bad qualities?”
Shaking I said softly but strongly, “No.”
“How do you feel after seeing him make mistakes and show his flaws?”
Moments of bad decisions Namjoon had made in his past crossed my mind. Yoongi’s question lingered throughout the memories. And all I could feel was my heart grow warm and expand.
I could feel Yoongi’s eyes on me. I hadn’t said a thing but seemed to be hearing my thoughts. “That’s what it means to care about someone—to accept the good and the bad. Whatever shit you’re afraid of in your past, fuck it. Don’t let it keep you from allowing someone amazing like Namjoon in.”
Suddenly, the face of the fucker entered my mind.
******His hands on me. I sat frozen, feeling my body lit up in flames.*******
Was the fucker the reason why I had this goddamn wall up? I thought I had moved on from him. Had he crept back into my subconscious and made me vulnerable again? Was he the reason why a wall existed that prevented me from allowing Namjoon in?
These last few days I thought it was just the way I was built. I could never be what Namjoon needed. I wasn’t made to let someone fully in. Having gone through therapy years ago I thought that I had grown as much as I could have.
I felt the arms around me before the tears. It wasn’t until Yoongi was hugging me that I noticed I had been crying. My face was wet, my nose was runny.
“It’s not just Namjoon that would like to break down that wall,” Yoongi said softly as he held me. “We all notice it. Some of us understand on a more personal level than others, unfortunately."
We shared a knowing look. He was meaning himself. Yoongi also had his wall.
"You feel it's easier to keep people at a distance," he said, holding eye contact. "The guys taught me differently."
I looked away, feeling a bit of shame for having my faults.
Yoongi kept talking. "The guys and I normally never push—Namjoon especially. He respects boundaries. He allows everyone to open up at their own pace. But it's different with you. He needs more. And I believe you need more, too.”
Suddenly, my heartache grew. It was no longer just about a breakup. It was about learning that I was broken.
I needed fixing.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I picked up my phone. My finger hovered over my KakaoTalk app. Dozens of notifications were still unread. Were any of them from Namjoon?
As much as I wanted to look through them, I knew deep down I shouldn’t click on them.
Not yet.
My finger moved over to Contacts, selecting and calling the person I was needing the most.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
My eyes were focused on the assistant’s desk. Since walking through the door, the feeling of déjà vu had been lingering through the air.
The lobby had remained the same. The portraits on the walls hadn’t changed. The couch I was sitting on was the same one as years ago.
I clutched my phone, this time having no one on the other end that was cheering me on for being where I was.
The urge to turn my phone on and go directly to my messages was strong. But like I had the other million times, I ignored it.
In my deluded, damaged mind I saw him sitting next to me. His dimples were deep and beautiful. That proud look was written all over his face.
“Hi, Maya. Come on in,” Dr. Rob said gently with a kind smile.
I returned the smile and got to my feet. As I made my way into his office, I could clearly hear Namjoon’s deep, timber voice behind me.
“hwaiting!”
As pathetic as it appeared, it worked. I felt a sudden burst of courage.
---------------
MASTERLIST
Chapters: 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - 8 - 9 - 10 - 11 - 12 - 13 - 14 - 15 - 16 - 17 - 18 - 19 - 20 - 21 - 22 - 23 - 24 - 25 - 26 - 27 - 28 - 29 - 30
#rm x maya#rm fanfic#rm x reader#bts rm#secret relationship#mother daughter relationship#heartache#heartbreak#miscommunication#anxienty#idol!namjoon#idol!oc#Spotify
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Last line tag
Thank you for the tag, @aether-wasteland-s.
Passing the tag to @blind-the-winds, @ceph-the-ghost-writer, @oh-no-another-idea, @writernopal, and an open tag for anyone else who wants to participate.
From today's entry in @thearchivistsjournal (Day 358):
He spoke of dry seasons spent helping his father in the bakery. He spoke of waking up early in the morning to greet his mother when she came home for the long night patrol. He spoke of rainy seasons spent in school making friends that lasted the rest of his life. He spoke of the ones that had gone before him. He spoke of the ones that would probably follow him over the next few years. He spoke of clear days running about the labyrinthine streets of the Village with those friends. He spoke of the day he was distracted from his play by the steady rhythm of hammer on metal. He spoke of his first time near the forge, its heat so familiar and yet so unlike his father’s oven. He spoke of the blacksmith who would become his mentor. He spoke of a gruff, taciturn man whose first and only love was his craft. He spoke of mutual respect slowly earned and built over years, despite him talking enough for the both of them. He spoke of his fear of leaving his father without an apprentice. He spoke of his father’s unconditional support once he finally worked up the courage to announce his intention to become the next blacksmith. He spoke of the young outsider who became a common sight at home after his mother took her under her wing as a junior guard. He spoke of the girl who became like a younger sister to him when she apprenticed to his father and who still runs the bakery to this day. He spoke of his pride when he handed his mother a spear with a shiny new tip he’d shaped himself. He spoke of being prodded by that outsider to dance with a girl at an equinox festival whom he’d not spoken to since his school days. He spoke of meetings with that girl becoming more frequent. He spoke of reluctantly turning down an offer to go with that outsider to Cloud Tower, but promising to help supply her and see her and her other friends off. He spoke of the strongest storm he’d ever seen appearing in the middle of a dry season. He spoke of the search for the fisher woman who went missing in the storm. He spoke of the long wait for those who never returned from Cloud Tower. He spoke of funerals that were never held for disappearing forever is not the same as dying. He spoke of moving in with the girl he danced with years ago. He spoke of their wedding. He spoke of their decision to visit the Blossom Field. He spoke of the joy of his daughter’s birth. He spoke of sleepless nights tending to a noisy infant. He spoke of the sorrow of his parents’ passing, first his father, then his mother, then his mentor. He spoke of sleepless nights thinking of words left unsaid. He spoke of works he’d crafted. He spoke of nails and barrels and breastplates he’d repaired. He spoke of his pride when his daughter first did the same. He spoke of the strange mixture of fear and satisfaction when she started spending time with that fisher boy. He spoke of how her moving out felt less painful than he’d expected since he still spent most of every day with her. He spoke of how quiet the house felt in the following months. He spoke of the night he caught a nature sprite with skin of flame and hair of metal stealing tools from the workshop. He spoke of the offerings left out for weeks afterward that were never accepted. He spoke of how he spoke to no one about his encounter that seemed increasingly like a dream. He spoke of his concern for the future when his grandson decided to be a fisher instead of a blacksmith. He spoke of the acceptance he found thinking back to how his own mentor had no child and that surely some other youth would come along one day, entranced by the sound of hammer on metal.
He started to speak of his last work, but stopped himself saying that I already knew all about that.
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I'm gonna nominate both Llevarta & Drackio for the Odd OC Asks! And I ask... (choco) Where does your OC go to think? (strawberry) Does your OC have any particular scents they like? Or hate? (wine) What's one of your OC's pet peeves concerning food?
Thanks for the questions! I didn't have ready answers for ANY of them, so this counts as worldbuilding/character development I guess. Extra bonus! :D
Llevarta finds it easier to think when she's outside. You might find her taking a walk in the woods or doing a little gardening. Unfortunately, due to certain spoilery events, she also spends many years unable to go outdoors.... So the next best place is her bedroom.
Drackio doesn't like to hold still - he tends to have his best thinking time when his hands are busy, so that usually ends up being in his workshop. (He's a carpenter.)
Llevarta loves the smells of blossoming fruit trees, warm ketaine bread (similar to cinnamon rolls), and freshly fallen rain. Drackio prefers the scents of sawdust, pot roast, and that yeasty smell that's shared by beer and bread dough. While he doesn't hate it, he can sometimes get headaches from very strong floral smells, so he tries to avoid things like potpurri or floral candles.
Food pet peeves? Mixed textures drive Drackio right up the wall. He likes nuts, for example, but don't put them in his bread or his chocolate! He feels like creamy things should be creamy, crunchy should be crunchy, soft should be soft, and they shouldn't be combined. Llevarta isn't a picky eater for the most part, but she does have a hard time with strong vinegar-y flavors (like what you find in sauerkraut). Come to think of it, this would fall under the "disliked smell" category too.
Cool, I feel like these two just got a little more fleshed out! These were fun to answer. :)
#thanks for the ask!#oc asks#oc#ocs#silen fah#llevarta#llevarta tis rinestrem#drackio#drackio tiz ben#fi#writing
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Blossoming Love (Fanfic)
Murder Mystery Au 💌
He had met her at that event, they had talked for a short amount of time and he liked that conversation, the next even he saw her, he made more small talk.
Then she wrote him a letter.
He didn’t know how she got his address.
The letter was simple, it was a poem, a poem about the work he does and Geppetto smiled but he thought nothing of it. Because María was known for her writings, she wrote to everyone she was fond of.
He didn’t respond but the letters continued, the letters came almost daily, and she would write about things she saw that reminded her of him, he saw her from time to time yet the fact that she wrote to him was never addressed.
Those letters made him smile, few things made his smile these days, The truth is that his work wasn’t as satisfying as it was once, yet he couldn’t stop, it was an addiction, he is addicted to his work yet even if he knows it he doesn’t stop.
Not even after how much his obsession with work has hurt his son. He is trying to stop, he wants to spend more time with Carlo and he has to force himself from working so much.
Carlo made him smile the most, thinking about him, and how much he had grown. He wasn’t exactly thrilled that his son wanted to be a stalker, he worried for his safety but it made Carlo happy. What he wants more than anything in this world is for his son to be happy. He treasures the moments he spends with his son.
Spending time with Venigni and Antonia makes him smile, they are his friends, his only true friends, he isn’t that close with his coworkers and acquaintances.
Those moments he spends with them, he treasures them, because he can feel like he is himself and not put a facade for others.
María’s letters made him smile because she made even the smallest of things sound so lovely.
But then, one letter came a love letter.
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
I cannot keep this a secret any longer, Geppetto I love you.
I understand you might find it strange, but I only think about you. When I’m outside and see the puppets that are all over this precious city of Krat, I think of you.
When I hear my father talk about the legal affairs of the workshop union, I think of you.
At my work, the other alchemists can tell I get distracted, and I get distracted because I think of you.
I get scolded for it, but I cannot stop myself. I cannot concentrate on these whirling feelings in my heart.
Your lovely smile, your eyes, your hair. Maybe you find it strange, for someone so young to be attracted to you, but is it the truth, you are quite handsome, the most handsome older man in Krat.
It’s killing me, it’s killing me keeping my love secret, I just wished to let you know, let you know my true feelings.
-From: María Jacobs ♡
♡━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━♡
Geppetto read that letter and freaked out, How was this possible? How did a young lady fall for him?
Yet his feelings were also a whirlpool, he couldn’t deny that he had grown fond of her and after his wife passed, he never thought he would find love again. But when Geppetto read those letters, he felt her love and he felt like he loved her back.
But this was wrong.
The next time he saw her at an event, he ignored her but for one moment, he went outside to get fresh air and she confronted him.
“My letter… did you read it?” Her voice was so sweet, so innocent.
“Yes” Geppetto took a deep breath, “María, I am very flattered but I cannot reciprocate your feelings”
“Why not?” She got closer to him, “I see it, in your eyes, I know you love me back” María might not be too experienced when it comes to romantic affairs, but she knows when others are in love.
She did not learn the nickname of Cupid for nothing, she loves to play Cupid and it works, countless friends that she has helped find love. True love, how many weddings has she been the bridesmaid that gets thanked for introducing the couple? All thanks to her writing, coaching her friends to write letters for the one they love.
Always the bridesmaid but never the bride.
“María I am old enough to be your father” He is, Gabriel is 61, just a year older than him.
“Love knows no bounds” she got even closer. “We are adults, we are old enough to make our choices”
It was true but it still felt wrong.
“I can’t”
“Yes you can”
María was face to face with him.
“Can I… kiss you?” She asked in a sugary tone.
He wants to say no, he wants to reject her. But he sees the hearts in her eyes, he sees that she loves him, he doesn’t understand why someone like her would love him.
And he never thought he could ever find love again.
He is an older man, an older man who has for a long time felt starved of love.
He loves his late wife, he loves her with all his heart but sometimes he feels, he feels lonely.
Geppetto sees the passion in her eyes, he sees true love and he sees that someone finally loves him like that again, her eyes, even if a different color, remind him of his wife’s eyes because they hold the same passion.
“Yes”
The kiss was small, it lasted only two seconds.
But Geppetto’s face is red, red with embarrassment, and red with frustration. Why did he do that? Why did he give in?
María has a huge small im her face, she lets out a sweet chuckle.
“If you ever want to write me back, use an alias,” María said teasingly.
She left him, she left him alone with his thoughts.
—-
Despite his better judgment, he wrote her letters.
Letters that he burned when committing the act, he couldn't let others know the feelings he held for her; she saved all the letters he wrote for her in a special box with a lock.
He was never good at writing but that didn’t matter to her, even if he wrote just a few sentences that seemed to delight her. They saw each other on a few more occasions, but never alone, never was their love mentioned. Like an open secret between them.
Geppetto mentioned in one of his letters that his favorite color was blue because it reminded him of her eyes.
The next time he saw her, she was wearing a blue dress, and her nails were painted blue. She gave him a playful wave with her hand.
He had to look away, he excused himself for a moment, and no one could see that he was blushing.
“Father, are we going or not?”
Carlo’s voice snapped him out of his trace, today was the day they were going to the faire.
“Of course, Carlo I’m sorry, your old man was just thinking about something”
Carlo gave him a look.
—-
“Romeo my father is acting weird”
Carlo was hanging out with Romeo after their training.
“You don’t think he found out about us right?” Romeo wondered if Geppetto had found out about their relationship.
“No, I don’t think it’s that” Although Carlo is sure that his father knows but he keeps quiet about it, at least he can appreciate that.
“He is just, I don’t know, too distracted?” Carlo had never seen his father space out so much.
“Maybe he is in love” Romeo teased and Carlo punched him in the shoulder.
“Maybe I’m imagining things” Carlo has never spent so much time with his father, maybe he always spaces out like this and he had never seen it before because of his absence.
“How was it? Did you have a good time with him?” Romeo got closer and gave Carlo a kiss im the cheek, “Hopefully not as much fun as we are having tomorrow”
Carlo blushed and punched him again on the shoulder.
“Carlo don’t abuse me like that~”
“Shut up”
Ugh, he loves that idiot so much.
“I did have some fun” Carlo was starting to believe that maybe they could fix the relationship.
He still has some doubts, even though his father apologized for everything because that doesn’t take the pain away.
There is also the fact that he might be working less but he is spending hours at that workshop his father has at home.
Sometimes he gets a little curious about what his father is working on but he locks the door for some reason.
Romeo was now sitting next to Carlo, leaning on his shoulder.
“You know sometimes, I wish we could be open about this”
The people of Krat don’t hold the best views of relationships like theirs.
“Although it’s a little fun to keep it secret right?” Romeo laughed.
“Is it because you feel like you are a character like in one of those dumb operas you like?” Carlo teased him back.
“They aren’t dumb!”
“Why is a theater kid like you trying to become a stalker?”
“I have to, what will you do with me? Can’t let anyone hurt your pretty face”
They were both smiling, spending time together makes both of them smile.
“Can I kiss you?” Carlo knows he doesn’t have to ask, but he just has this feeling that he should.
“What a polite good boy you are,” Romeo said with a smile on his face. “Of course, you can”
They kissed each other, a long kiss, these moments spent, these are the moments they both treasure the most.
They talked for some time before Carlo remembered something.
“Tomorrow is María’s funeral” It has taken more time than usual, he heard that it was because of the autopsy report.
“Are you coming? My father is taking me there, we could give you a ride”
“Yeah I would like to go” Romeo wasn’t that close with María either but he did like her as a friend. “Thanks”
“Did you hear all those rumors? That she was killed because she knew something?” Carlo wasn’t one to pay attention to gossip like that, but if it was true, it’s scary to think that poor María was silenced like that.
“I don’t even want to think about that, but I hope none of them are true” Romeo doesn’t like gossip either, but María’s death was something everyone was talking about.
So many suspects, so many motives. Most people suspect the alchemists, her father is convinced they have something to do with it, that they did it as revenge against him. As a judge he had convinced some alchemists while working; alchemists that had committed crimes and had gone unnoticed for years.
The crime was brutal, the killer didn’t even bother to cover the body or clean up the blood.
“Well, whoever it was, what kind of sicko does that?” Carlo couldn’t understand how anyone could be so cruel.
#lies of p#lop#liesofp#lies of p game#lies of p fanfic#lies of p geppetto#this is in ao3 too#ao3 link#lies of p carlo#lies of p romeo
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