#black rape survivors
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ik people like to act like sex and imbalanced sexual dynamics are uniquely traumatizing (moreso than any other kind of power imbalance, abuse of power, or just flat out abuse period) but from personal experience not really. there's nothing inherent to sex and sexuality that makes it traumatizing. there's nothing inherent to sexual trauma that makes it more traumatic than any other trauma.
and chiefly trauma is never really about the intentions of any party who made or let it happen. someone who wants, intends, and tries to hurt you might bounce off you just like that; because they simply failed to psychologically damage you, because what they did didn't bother you a lot whether it be mental physical or sexual. conversely someone who does not want, intend, or try to hurt you may scar you for life with something either they don't understand is harmful or isn't even inherently harmful and is uniquely that way to you.
i just. i'm annoyed at the narrative of trauma being taken away from the survivor themself. if i say this was traumatizing and you think it's not a big deal, too fucking bad, listen to me. if i say that wasn't traumatizing at all and you think it's the worst thing in the world upon hearing what it is, too fucking bad, you don't get to tell me what my trauma is. i'm sick of seeing people put words in each others mouths and tell someone's story for them without that person's consent. idk like? it makes me so angry that whenever i used to talk about things people would blatantly disregard the most horrific times of my life and instead focus on stuff i was neutral or even positive toward as a big terrible thing that ruined me.
nowadays i'm very grateful to have people who are chill and don't jump to conclusions no one asked them to. people who listen when i tell them "i know this sounds bad but it wasn't actually" or "i know this sounds stupid but this was world shattering." people who i get to laugh with. the RIGHT people who extend me the same kindness of knowing their strange "good bad things" and "bad fine things."
life just isn't as simple as "this is always terrible for people" and "this is always fine for people." PEOPLE aren't a monolith. yes, even that thing that you think must be the worst thing possible. yes, even that thing that you think no one could possibly be hurt by. it's hard to involve myself in serious discussions about abuse because there is a very clear Narrative people want to follow and if you as a "victim" don't follow it then either it didn't happen or you're wrong about your own experience.
hopefully I can consult my therapist about this phenomenon in discussions of abuse and trauma. and also about the specific thing that made me think of this. it irritates me quite a lot when others pity me for something that i knowingly chose-- and in retrospect never hurt me either. like what are you fishing for. why are you looking at me like that. i'm fine, maybe you're the one that needs counseling if my talking about this creates such a visceral reaction in you.
#listen to trauma survivors#listen to victims#listen to people who say they AREN'T that when you say they are too#the only person who knows their life best is that person especially in retrospect#ask to tag#trauma#the narratives surrounding trauma are regressive and ignore anyone who does not fit them#mental health culture critical#mental health#i consume [one] weed and then have sex and its immediately rape. pls touch grass jfc#idk everything surrounding sex is this mystical thing rife with potential evil#and i'm tired of it#the anti sex culture#the whole: there's nothing more traumatizing than someone 2 years older asking you out#pls stop#sex is not inherently more evil or potentially evil than literally any other thing that can be used to abuse#and abuse isn't as simple as 2 neat boxes labeled abusive thing and not abusive thing#for example you cant claim a karen yelling at you in a store is abusive. rude and mean yes but shes not abusing you#but if the same person is yelling at you all the time and has power over you so you cannot stop them thats a diff story potentially#idk people have this#black and white thinking#that never fails to irritate me#and we are never going to get anywhere in understanding these difficult topics if we cannot disconnect the narrative from our ego to always#always be right. to always know what is one thing and what is the other
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Where does your value lie?
honestly, it’s really hard knowing the amount of times i carelessly allowed people to touch me.
it makes me think about my desire to be supported alongside the desire to be needed.
the desire to be valuable in someone’s life —
but it’s hard to steer clear of deriving personal value from that which others assign…
i mean, we don’t exist in a vacuum so how are we supposed to find value in ourselves without using relative comparison?
how do we say, “i am worthwhile regardless of what i provide to your experience.”
tell ourselves we mean something when no one is around…
what does it matter anyhow if no one is around?
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Long post ahead. My full thoughts on the fallout series. TW for references to Sexual Assault, racism, antisemitism. It's not particularly in depth here- but I do reference specific acts of violence done in the show.
I've had people insinuate I'm only mad because I'm a New Vegas fan, because I think they retconned the lore. I'm not upset at the fallout show for its dubious lore additions and reworks. I think they're quite bad in places, but they're by far the least of the show's problems.
This isn't a case of a New Vegas fan mad they messed with my game in a way I didn't like.
Please refer to literally any of my posts pointing out the racism and antisemitism in the show. They brand a black man in episode 1. They named the enclave scientist after a real life holocaust survivor and then spent most of the show lobbing around his decapitated head like a volleyball.
But I'd like to consider other elements of the show. View it as a whole.
Consider the inherent misogyny of having a female main character whose entire character arc is just her getting abused for 8 episodes. How the trajectory of her character revolves around not giving up on the humanity of the man who waterboarded her and sold her to organ harvesters. A female main character who is raped in the first episode and watches her entire community get brutalized and who comes out of it completely unphased- still as plucky as ever- just worried about her dad.
Consider the horror of having a black woman be the one to drop the bombs. Consider the horror of her leading a council of elites who have infiltrated and taken over the US government. Consider the ways this group is presented and shown, the ways every fault of the US government in the series is offloaded onto a shadowy group of elites.
Consider how the capitalist critique of the show only goes so far as saying there's a secret organization of bad people who must be purged. The antisemitism and conspiratorial nonsense inherent to that premise.
Consider the rampant classism with the show's depiction of Wastelanders as either animalistic monsters or too stupid to live.
Consider the ways the show punishes nearly every act of kindness- the ways the world rewards might-makes-right authoritarians.
Consider the way the NCR collapsed offscreen because a disgruntled husband was mad his wife left him, and how after it collapsed the army immediately became raiders and the survivors became blood drinking cultists. Don't give me "it's just shady sands that collapsed" because the NCR was a developed nation. If one of their cities blew up, they would send aid. They would assist.
Consider the way the show constantly uses sex crimes as comedy and horror- the incest jokes and the "chicken fucker" bit, and the Vault 4 monster impregnation and the main character's rape in the first episode.
Consider the ableism of the treatment of ghouls, how every ghoul is now a ticking time bomb, how Lucy helps free a small dementia-riddled old ghoul woman from a medical torture facility and then is immediately punished with the woman trying to inexplicably murder her. Thaddeus openly talks about ghoul exterminationism and it's never a joke or a bit- he just says it and nobody reacts or says anything.
Consider the way the Vault 33 town councillors use real world progressive talking points about restorative justice and prison abolition and multiculturalism- meanwhile Norm advocates for the death penalty and a closed society. How Norm is shown as good and righteous and the vault dwellers range from deluded to damningly stupid- how the mere concept of restorative justice is made a farce because the NCR raiders are screaming about eating organs and murdering people 24/7.
Consider the way they removed the Boneyard, and the Followers of the Apocalypse by extension. In New Vegas we heard about the Followers operating a university in LA. It's gone now. Not destroyed by bombs- but written out of existence because the Boneyard never existed, and Shady Sands is in its place. Consider what that says about this world- that the group most dedicated to peace and rebuilding has been surgically excised from the narrative- destroyed more wholly than even the NCR- written out of existence entirely.
This is the single most reactionary fallout story that has been produced. By a fucking country mile.
Whatever lore critiques there are should be secondary. The storytelling is reactionary in ways I straight up have not seen from other Bethesda entries in the series. It is cruel to a fault, and depicts a world that is incapable of healing or growing- where the best you can do is hold onto that small spark of goodness while every bit of the society around you tries to murder it out of you. This isn't a story about rebuilding, or about postwar politics, or about society- it's about dueling warlords and might makes right attitudes and grimdark views of the nature of humanity. It's fallout in aesthetics alone- and it's perhaps the most hateful thing I've seen come out of this series outside of the actual neonazis in the fanbase.
Whatever hope there is in Moldaver's final moments looking out over the glittering ruins of LA is undercut by the knowledge of what came before. What was destroyed. And it's undercut by the Brotherhood's totalitarian control. It's not hopeful, it's the bare minimum of survival. It's all the progress of the postwar world, 200 years of humanity and history, reduced to just barely getting the lights back on.
In the intro to fallout 1, "War Never Changes" is used as thematic glue. It ties together two concepts- past wars- and present capitalism and militarism.
Ron Perlman describes the Roman Empire, the Spanish conquests of the Americas, and the Nazi regime- and then he says "war never changes" and uses it to connect those past atrocities to the modern world of the setting- to the war that ended everything. The phrase existed to link the resource wars and their ensuing fallout to all the crimes of empire prior. War never changes wasn't a hard and fast rule of human nature- it was a specific condemnation of America.
Lonesome Road even ends with the phrase refuted. War Never Changes. But men do, through the roads they walk. There is hope. That's what this series has always been about. The Master died at the end of fallout 1 and said "leave while you still have hope."
In this show, the black woman Vault Tec exec who ends the world says the phrase. It's stripped of all meaning. Just a generic throwback because it's a famous phrase in the series' history. It's not a condemnation of America, it's a celebratory thing. Vault Tec toasting to the end of the world.
What a thing to see this series become. What a thing to see celebrated.
#fallout#fallout new vegas#fallout show#this has gotten more feedback then I was expecting#and i'm glad this is resonating with some folks#turned off reblogs cuz i cant actually deal with the response this has been getting at this point 👍
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As a verdict is possibly hours away, a sense of dread has been building in my stomach for what it will mean for Amber’s future, as well as all victims of intimate partner violence (IPV), particularly as women’s basic rights continue to be under attack in the United States. Like many people who are following the case, I have personal experiences with abuse. Much of my research focuses on IPV, specifically, the disparities in resources and services that are available for survivors to leave their abusers, such as economic, social, geographical barriers. It’s a topic which is deeply tied to my own personal experiences and academic career.
I initially was ambivalent to Amber Heard. Before I began to research the case, I was firmly in the "they both suck" camp, having only briefly glanced through articles. I started to pay more attention to the media coverage over the past six weeks and was really staggered by how Heard was being portrayed as a lying, crazy, gold-digging woman through narratives that were not only going unchallenged, but were heavily perpetuated in the public discourse. Even worse, that the abuse she experienced had been capitalized on by "true crime" junkies and mocked in TikTok videos and Youtube compilations. So I began watching the trial live and found that there was far more evidence and far more substantial evidence which shows that JD was the perpetrator of abuse within their relationship.
The evidence collected through JD's personal texts and emails show an early pattern of abuse. He exerted control over the clothes Amber wore and would become angry when she didn't dress "conservatively". He would consistently accuse her of having affairs with acquaintances, friends, and various co-stars, even with an openly gay director, Clive Barker. He didn't like that she was ambitious and would scorn her when she took opportunities to advance her career. He would constantly refer to her with misogynistic language. He also referred to Amber, an openly bisexual woman, as a “lesbian camp counsellor”. He messaged other men to discuss killing her through drowning and burning her, and then raping her burnt corpse to prove that she was truly dead. This all occurred while they were still dating. She was in her early 20s and he was in 50s. All of these coercive, paranoid, jealous, controlling behaviours are deeply and unequivocally abusive.
None of this includes the evidence which shows physical and sexual abuse. There are audio tapes in which he admits to headbutting her, so hard that she was concerned her nose was broken. In another recording, they discuss how her family and friends have seen her bruises, broken blood vessels, and bald spots from her hair being torn out of her scalp. Another shows him stating “I will smack the ugly c**t before I let her in.” A video shows him aggressively breaking and smashing furniture near her. One interaction reveals that Stephen Deuters, his assistant, begged her to come back to him after her assaulted her on a plane in front of his bodyguards, pleading to her that JD was remorseful for his actions. Heard also has stated he sexually assaulted her multiple times. Remember, he previously discussed violently raping her in those infamous messages to Paul Bettany.
As for witnesses, several testified to seeing bruises on her numerous times, including JD's witnesses, such as their marriage counsellor. A makeup artist, Melanie Inglessis, testified to covering swelling on her lip and two black eyes. Raquel Pennington saw several injuries, including bloodied bald spots on her head, a swollen nose, and cut lip. She expressed fear JD would eventually kill Amber if she didn't leave. Josh Drew also testified to seeing her with injuries, including black eyes, a swollen cheek, and a busted lip. iO Tillet Wright (who Depp misgenders throughout his testimony) recalled hearing JD assault Amber and scream “oh, you think I hit you? You think I fucking hit you? What if I peel your fucking hair back". iO then called 911. This was the incident which led Heard to file for a divorce and a restraining order, two days afterwards. It is worth noting that Pennington, Drew, and Wright all corroborated this incident in their depositions, as did iO’s 2016 essay.
Is she guilty of fighting back? Absolutely. She never lied about doing so, even dating back to her 2016 deposition. However, fighting back against a man who has beaten you, sexually assaulted you, controlled your career, finances, and who you can associate with does not equate to being an abuser. It’s simply surviving. And yes, I’ve heard those audio tapes, the in which she’s expresses her incredulity at him for stating their fights were fair when she feared he would kill her.
His case has relied upon deeply misogynistic narratives to discredit both her claims and her character. She was after his money all along, even though she refused the 30 million dollar fortune she was legally entitled to, as there was no prenup. She painted on bruises, even though a makeup artist testified to covering up her swollen lip and two black eyes. She cut off his finger, even though multiple texts and even an audio recording showcase him admitting to doing it in the midst of a bender. She didn't donate her money, even though she and the organization created a 10 year plan for her to make yearly payments (in my personal opinion, what she does with her money either way is nobody's fucking business). Also worth noting, an ACLU representative testified to her being ahead of schedule until Depp began suing her. She made up a hoax, because she documented her abuse - as we advise all people who are in abusive situations to do. She's a liar, because women are inherently deceitful liars.
None of the evidence that JD's attorneys presented has proven that she defamed him through her op-ed piece. That's likely because their goal was never to prove that her article - which never explicitly references him or their relationship - impacted his career. Those who watched the trial will know, Tracy Jacobs, his agent of 30 years stated that it was his drug and alcohol abuse, anger issues, chronic lateness (7 or 8 hours late to set each day), and unprofessionalism that led to his career decline. Film crews grew tired of working around these problems, and eventually, so did Hollywood. Tina Newman, a Disney Corporate Representative who worked on POTC stated no one knew of Amber’s op-ed until Depp sued her.
The trial was always meant to humiliate, shame, and terrorize her. We are witnessing in a powerful man terrorize his ex-wife through the legal system, all while the world makes TikToks of her sexual assault testimony. JD has a documented history of violence and is due for another court date after assaulting a crew member of the set of City of Lies. To quote his own words, “If I’m angry and I’ve got to lash out or hit somebody, I’m going to do it and I don’t care what the repercussions are. Anger doesn’t pay rent, it’s gotta go. It’s gotta be evicted.”
I don't know whether Amber Heard will win her case. We’re witnessing a radical right-wing political swing to control and criminalize women’s bodies with Roe v. Wade under attack right now. To be blunt, I have very little faith in the justice system and that a jury - in Virginia of all places - will rule in favour of an abused woman over her charismatic, powerful ex-husband. However, I think it's important to remember that Amber did everything right, that is, everything we tell women to do. She documented her abuse, left her abusive partner, and was granted a restraining order - and she's continuing to be punished for doing so. If Amber, a privileged white woman with access to economic resources, is still struggling to escape her abuser, how can we expect women without those privileges to?
#amber heard#i stand with amber heard#justice for amber heard#johnny depp#anti johnny depp#johnny depp is an abuser
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Have you noticed how almost everything that the anti-Israel crowd accuses people who simply recognize Israel's right to exist of, is (in additional to usually being false) stuff they're guilty of themselves?
"You support ethnic cleansing!"
What do you think it means, when you chant the English translation of "From water to water, Palestine will be Arab"?
"You support an ethno-state!"
Do you call for the destruction of every single nation state, such as Germany, Japan, France, and so on? No? Then so do you. Have you called for the establishment of a Palestinian state? Then, so do you. Between Hamas ruling Gaza and being genocidal when it comes to Jews, and Mahmoud Abbas (president of the Palestinian Authority) stating no Israelis will be allowed in the State of Palestine (and by "Israelis" we all know he doesn't mean the Arab citizens of Israel, he's talking about Jews) that's going to be an ethno-state, too. Oh, you meant a "pure" ethno-state. Those don't exist in today's reality, and Israel, with 27% of its citizens being non-Jews, is no exception.
"Oct 7 didn't happen in a vacuum, you're ignoring the context of the past 75 years!"
You are ignoring big chunks of anti-Jewish violence during these 75 years, you're ignoring the expulsion of almost 900,000 Jews from Arab and Muslim countries, you're ignoring the anti-Jewish violence and persecution that preceded the establishment of the Land of Israel, and you're ignoring all 3,500 years (at least) of Jewish existence in and connection to our ancestral homeland, Israel.
"You support collective punishment!"
The same way you do, when you chant, "When people are occupied, resistance is justified"? Because that's what it means, that for the sin of Israel supposedly being a colonial state (a false claim, since Jews are native to Israel), you're justifying raping 13 year old girls, shooting them in the head, murdering Holocaust survivors, burning babies alive... what's that if not supporting collective punishment? (that's before we get into the fact that Israel not surrendering in a war started by Hamas is NOT collective punishment, or else we would have to define the allies not surrendering to the Nazis in WWII as collective punishment of the Germans)
"You suppor apartheid!"
All Israeli citizens have the same civil rights. Apartheid in South Africa was a system where citizens of the country had their rights limited based on skin color/ancestry. The issue in South Africa wasn't that racism existed (IDK a single country where racism doesn't), it's that it was codified into law, and used against the rights of that country's own citizens. Israeli Jews and Israeli Arabs have the same rights. Non-Israeli Palestinians not having the same rights as Israelis, including as Israeli Arabs, is the same as French Canadians not having the same rights in the US as French Americans. It is NOT proof the US is applying a system of apartheid unto French people. And if it were, then I have news for you, every country applies different rights to citizens vs not citizens, so every country would be an apartheid state by this criterion. Which would make the word meaningless, and it would diminish the suffering of non-whites under South Africa's apartheid (as some young black South Africans who have actually been to Israel now point out). Meanwhile, I'll point back up to where Mahmoud Abbas said no Israelis (i.e Jews) will be allowed in Palestine, and that under the Palestinian Authority, a Palestinian can be jailed or executed for selling land to Jews, which means the PA demolishes the right to property (of Jews to own it, and of the PA's Palestinian citizens to sell it as they see fit) based solely on the ancestry of the buyer... And you support the PA, right?
"You deny the Nakba!"
I had never encountered any Israeli denying that roughly 850,000 Arabs fled Israel due to the War of Independence. Pointing out that the Arabs are the ones who started that war isn't the same as denying it happened. Meanwhile, the people who make this accusation, largely deny the expulsion of the Jews from Arab and Muslim countries, deny the suffering, discrimination, expulsions and massacres Jews had endured for centuries under Arab and Muslim regimes, and deny the atrocities of Oct 7.
"You support colonialism!"
Say the people who deny the native rights of the Jews, who act as if these rights are limited by time (as if such a limitation benefits anyone other than actual colonizers), who ignore the fact that Palestinians wouldn't exist here without Arab colonialism, or who wish to confer a native status unto them by virtue of... being settler colonialists for a "long time" (to be clear, the way the UN's definition of a Palestinian refugee works, it only requires a person to have been an Arab* settler colonialist in Israel during the 2 years prior to the founding of the Israeli state, to be recognized as a Palestinian. To become a US citizen, in addition to other requirements, you have to live in the US for at least 5 years, 3 if married to an American citizen. That means in June of 1946, it was easier to become a Palestinian "native" in the eyes of the UN, than an American citizen). Don't get me wrong, Palestinians have a right to live in the place where they were born. I can both recognize that they're here due to Arab colonialism, AND be okay with them living here. Just like I can recognize that no Americans today deserve to be displaced, even though the majority of them are there thanks to colonialism. And I don't have to pretend like Americans of European descent have suddenly become native (something that if I did, would probably hurt actual Native Americans), in order to recognize their right to live where they were born. It's just ironic that if we took the logic of the anti-Israel crowd when it comes to native Jews, and applied it to all native peoples, this would harm the natives, erase their rights, recognize their colonizers as natives, and generally help colonialism.
There's probably more, but I think this is demonstrative enough.
* Technically, the UN didn't specify ancestry. As an idea, you could be Arab, Jewish, a Polish Catholic priest living in a convent in the Land of Israel from Jun '46 to May '48, and you'd be recognized as a Palestinian by the UN, but in reality this definition ended up favoring all non-Jewish colonizers of the land. In 1952, Israel said, "It's okay, we'll take care of the Jewish refugees displaced by the War of Independence. No need for the UN to do so. This is what we set up a Jewish state for." This is in addition to Israel taking care of the Jewish refugees from Arab and Muslim countries, and Jewish Holocaust survivors. And for Israel's show of responsibility, the now-Israeli Jewish refugees have been punished. They don't get recognized as existing, as having been displaced by, and having suffered due to the war the Arabs started in the Land of Israel against its Jewish communities. "Palestinian" refers to non-Jews only from the second The British Mandate in Palestine's Jews became Israeli Jews, but that doesn't stop the anti-Israel crowd from falsely claiming there are Palestinian Jews today... even though since May of 1948, there aren't, and before that, those Palestinian Jews were British subjects, not the citizens of an Arab independent state called Palestine (something that has never historically existed). Thanks to the exclusion in practice of Jews from the definition of Palestinian refugee, the UN agency for taking care of Palestinian refugees, UNRWA became a tool of spreading anti-Jewish hate.
(for all of my updates and ask replies regarding Israel, click here)
#israel#antisemitism#israeli#israel news#israel under attack#israel under fire#israelunderattack#terrorism#anti terrorism#hamas#antisemitic#antisemites#jews#jew#judaism#jumblr#frumblr#jewish#resources
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"once again reminding everyone that the current hysteria around Hamas raping and sexually abusing women is one of the oldest trick in the colonial propaganda machine and has been used by American colonialists to demonise indigenous and black men and if we want more recent examples we can think about Emmett Till or when trump called Mexicans rapists. They are purposefully doing this to distract from their humiliating defeat on the ground and across the world especially as more and more people rally to the side of Palestinians. This doesn't even take into account that many freed Palestinian men and women who were kidnapped in israeli jails have said that sexual assault and rape is a norm used by Israelis. They will pull out lie after lie because this is an entity that knows it's days are numbererd. [source: @ islamcommunism on X, formerly know as Twitter. 12/05/23.]
Also... as if, generally speaking, the US criminal justice system gives a damn about victims and survivors of sexual violence.. weaponizing such a huge global issue -fully well knowing in their own fucking US military "rape" is seen as a "hazard" of the job and is such a prevalent issue that exists in a vacuum because they 'deal' with it in THEIR military courts and more often American women serving in their military are not taken seriously if they report their rape, have lifelong injuries/traumas because of the assault, or with whom are targeted and end up being 'killed' -not to mention the statistics (which don't include everyone's experiences because of barriers, shame, and stigma associated with sexual abuse and rape) on a societal level -The US Department reported that once every five minutes a rape or attempted rape occurs; and although these figures shift every year -every 2 minutes a woman is raped in the US. The fucking audacity when your justice system fails victims and survivors of sexual violence ALL the time. American and Israeli propaganda -continues to be utterly shameful.
#feminist#feminism#social justice#freepalastine🇵🇸#free palestine#palestine#free gaza#end the occupation#end the genocide#settler colonialism#settler violence#colonial violence#tw sex abuse#tw abuse#protect palestine#israeli propaganda#violence against women
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I just need to rant about the antisemitism in leftist spaces and the erasure and re-writing of Jewish history and heredity from people who claimed to be for marginalized and oppressed people. Because I have no where to let it out. I feel betrayed by the leftists and libels, like I can no longer trust them or feel safe around them, they claimed to care about me and Jewish people but they lied and are out for violence.
You can be for a free Palestinian without antisemitism. Some people are being disgusting with their hatred for Jewish people and wanting the annihilation of the only Jewish state. You can be against corrupt governments but innocent people shouldn't suffer.
People are using what is happening as an excuse to be vocal about their antisemitism. What is more upsetting is the fact the people who consider themselves goodhearted and for the oppressed being disgusting to Jewish people and refusing to see them as human than the right wing conservatives. Because at least I know they are dangerous and they are not hiding behind fancy words and trying to erase and rewrite Jewish history and identity.
The only reason Jewish people are considered "white" is because for thousands and thousands of years the been forced to leave their homes, forced to convert, be raped or be murdered. Another reason is to erase the historical oppression which has been going on for over three thousand years.
Jewish people have not even been considered white for hundred years and depending on where you live in the world Jewish people are still not considered white. In their legal documents it was literally listed that they were Jewish, not Russian. My parents are not even old, they are only in their early 50s. My family is from Soviet Russia and immigrated to the USA in the 1990s. My parents were not considered white in Russia, they would sometimes experience hate crimes and bullying because of their Jewishness multiple times a day. One of the reasons my parents moved to the United States was because it was one of the safest places for Jewish people. After the collapse of the soviet union the violence and antisemitism was a lot worse.
Your blatant antisemitism in the free Palestinian movement is scaring Jewish people away from it and the from left. Fyi, after Black Americans, Jewish Americas are the largest group to vote democrat and be involve in activism according to statistics and history. People are not calling Black American people or Native American people white or mixed even though Christian Europeans did similar things to those groups as well.
Frankly, I personally feel conflicted when I have to check white in a box because it means European descent, my family has no European ancestry. It is most Middle Eastern, West Asian and North African.
Also, we can talk about how Christian Europeans stole the term Caucasian. The actually Caucasus region is in West Asia and Eastern Europe.
Also I want to state Judaism in a ethnoreligion. People who convert to a different religion can still experience antisemitism. People who have Jewish ancestry but raised as a different religion can still experience antisemitism. Non practicing Jewish people can still experience antisemitism. You can change religion but you can not can your ethic background and your family history.
More than one group of people can be indigenous to a certain place.
Jewish people can not talk about just being Jewish without antisemitic comments, recently saw someone claim an anti-Jewish protest was actually a pro-Palestinian protest despite the the leader of the event literal said it was an anti-Jew protest. A pro Palestinian group wanted to hold a protest at the Holocaust Museum and the antisemitism has been on the rise for years.
My grandparent are Holocaust survivors my grandpa was almost killed by a Nazi in his hometown twice, my grandma almost died from the same thing the killed Anne Frank, I had family that was buried alive.
It has not even been hundred years since the holocaust happened, so stop claiming their is such a thing as Jewish privilege. Jewish people are still being murdered and bombed and all these terrible things for being Jewish.
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i have no interest in entering this discourse, but i have exactly one thing to say and i'm going to say it now and then i am literally going to shut up and move on.
tamsyn muir is a survivor of sexual violence with a history of writing exactly what she wants to write in regards to the topic (including in her professional/published work, even though everyone seems to stay fixated on her fanfiction). committing nonsexual bodily autonomy violations and being a creep are not the same as committing actual rape, and it is a slap in the face to every real-world survivor (including, again, the literal author of the book) to say that they are the same. it's entirely possible that there will be sexual violence in atn, or that it will be revealed that john or anyone else has committed sexual assault. but unless and until that is on the page – because if tamsyn wants to deal with the topic of rape in her story, she will do that unambiguously if not straightforwardly – it is wrong to describe john as a rapist. there's no black and white in these books, there is so much fucking nuance here, so i would just urge everyone to please consider that someone can violate bodily autonomy and have uncomfortable relationships with younger women without it being the same thing as or metaphorically rape.
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don’t ever tell a male SA survivor; “You’re supposed to enjoy it”
don’t ever tell a male SA survivor; “You’re a boy, you can’t get raped.”
don’t ever tell a male SA survivor; “that doesn’t count.”
don’t ever tell an SA survivor; “What were you wearing?”
don’t ever tell an SA survivor; “Did you close your legs?”
don’t ever tell an SA survivor; “They’re family, they wouldn’t do that.”
don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “I don’t believe you.”
don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “I know them, they wouldn’t do that.”
don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “You’re supposed to enjoy it.”
don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “We’re you leading them on?”
don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “We’re you rude?”
don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “You’re an adult, toughen up.”
don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “it doesn’t count.”
don’t ever tell a SA survivor; “it’s your fault.”
don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “but you don’t act like it.”
don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “But they seem so nice.”
don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “They’d never do that.”
don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “She’s a girl, girl’s don’t abuse.”
don’t ever tell a male DA/GA survivor; “Boys can’t be abused.”
don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “But you have no scars.”
don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “You’re just making things up for attention.”
don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “you should’ve just fought/yelled back.”
don’t ever tell a DA/GA survivor; “It’s your fault.”
don’t ever tell an attempt survivor; “that’s selfish of you.”
don’t ever tell an attempt survivor; “I’ve had it worse/i know someone who has it worse.”
don’t ever tell an attempt survivor; “that doesn’t sound like an attempt.”
don’t ever tell a POC; “you’d be way prettier with lighter skin.”
don’t ever tell a POC; “but you don’t look american?”
don’t ever tell a POC; “you should try skin bleaching.”
don’t ever tell a POC; “oh, are you in a gang or something?”
don’t ever tell a POC; “but your skin is so light, you can’t be colored.”
don’t ever tell a POC; “can you give me the N word pass?”
don’t ever tell a POC; “your hair is distracting”
don’t ever tell a POC; “go back to where you came from.” [whoever says this, i live in your walls]
don’t ever tell an albino; “you’re white, not black.”
don’t ever tell an albino; “so are one of your parent white or something?”
don’t ever tell an albino; “you’d be prettier if you were normal.”
don’t ever tell an albino; “oh has anyone tired talking you limbs or something” [i will hunt whoever says this]
don’t ever tell a child; “you should take care of your siblings.”
don’t ever tell a child; “he hits you/is being rude because he likes you”
don’t ever tell a child; “you have to hug them!”
don’t ever tell a child; “it’s your fault we’re divorcing”
don’t ever tell a child; “you’re too old to be doing this.”
don’t ever tell a child of divorced parents; “it’s your fault”
don’t ever tell a child of divorced parents; “pick a side”
don’t ever tell a child of divorced parents; “did you ever consider that you should’ve stepped in?”
don’t ever tell a child of divorced parents; “well if they never got together in the first place, they wouldn’t have had you”
you never know what a person is going through and don’t you dare shame a person for something they can’t control.
if you say any of these things you’re disgusting and you need to not only get educated but stop being a dick.
keep in mind that i am aware that these prompts don’t apply to everyone of a certain minority. But this is me teaching to simply be kind and pay respect and mind to a person’s experiences, minority, etc. there are multiple prompts that can be added but I will refrain to using those out of respect, and also due to censorship.
#sa awareness#sa#domestic violent relationships#sa survivor#sa survivors#domestic abu5e#DA#abuse awareness#poc#colored life’s matter#colored lives matter#black lives matter#person of color#albino#albinism#child abuse#child abuse awareness#mental health awareness#mental health#child of divorce#divorced parents#this is all to spread love and education#i hope someone finds comfort and reassurance in this#if anyone wants to talk about literally anything#don’t hesitate to reach out#my heart to goes out to everyone reading
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I'm not gonna be in the Call Of Duty fandom anymore, well, the MW fandom. at least not fully, and I will explain, but first and foremost I want to clarify: I'm NOT leaving tumblr entirely & I'm NOT gonna back down either from my previous statements. So, allow me to begin as to why I'm making this decision.
The rape, incest, pedo and animal abuse pornography
Quite frankly, as someone who has been through rape and child sexual abuse, I find it ABHORRENT that anyone would ever look at such abuses and decide to fetishise, romanticise and glorify these things. I do not care nor want to know your "justifications" because frankly there aren't any. As a survivor, I am aware that the fandom is malicious and nasty towards people like me; I am aware that you people willingly and HAPPILY engage with such harmful, disgusting material. Quite honestly, I could not name a space more dedicated to the harassment, malicious treatment and utterly disgusting behaviour towards these topics and the people who openly disagree with them.
The racism
Before you tell me "Call Of Duty fans have always been racist", I am aware of that. But I'm talking specifically about the niche fandom (because it is niche). The fandom treats Black and Brown characters utterly abhorrently; from turning Gaz into a stereotype through to fetishising Farah and everything in between, the fandom's racism is progressively getting WORSE - and then x reader writers (who are predominantly white) only add to that by purposefully and willfully excluding Black and Brown people from fandom altogether. The racism within this space makes it clear that anybody who is NOT white is NOT welcome, and frankly, I do not wish to be associated with such disgusting people. To treat Black people as tokens, to purposefully KICK people of colour out of fandom - it's disgraceful and I hope that everybody is ashamed of themselves.
The ableism and saneism
The Call Of Duty fandom is NOT a safe place for anyone who has a psychotic, schizospec, dissociative or personality disorder. Plain and simple. From the colloquial usage of mental health terms such as "delusional", through to the "jokes" which are made to trigger people with such disorders (e.g. "in your walls"), and to the casual usage of anti-psychotic slurs like "psycho" and "schizo", it's obvious to anyone with just one quick look that this fandom sees people with such disorders as either their punching bags, their "memes" or worse: not human at all. And this also translates to fanworks, as quite honestly, I'm tired of seeing the same treatment directed towards characters like Nikto, because it shows that you people do not care about us at all. We aren't human to you, and we never will be. We are not even worth CONSIDERING when it comes to offensive language - it's degrading, it's dehumanising and it's exhausting to have to constantly walk away from fanworks that are so obviously made with malicious intent.
The homophobia
I am a bisexual/pansexual/omnisexual/queer/whatever you wanna call it man, and the amount of homophobia in the Call Of Duty fandom is disgusting. No, bisexual men AREN'T your "uwu bby boy so soft such a bottom bitch!!". You perpetuating homophobic stereotypes for the sake of a ship is utterly and completely and truly vile. How dare you claim to support LGBTQIA+/queer people when you KNOWINGLY perpetuate these stereotypes? When you KNOWINGLY engage in homophobic behaviour. You are scum.
The antisemitism and islamophobia
This is a touchy subject for non-religious folk, but I really wish you lot would all leave religious people alone. It takes you two seconds to look up what Muslims and Jews believe in and act accordingly. It takes you two seconds to NOT open your mouth when Muslims and Jews talk about their headcanons of characters being religious - because what gives you the right? Why do you feel so comfortable to shut down religious people's headcanons of characters? "Oh, he can't be Jewish because he's English", English Jews exist. "Oh, he can't be Muslim because he's Scottish", Scottish Muslims exist. These people exist in real life, and you saying that a character CANNOT be a Muslim or a Jew because of where they come from is little more than antisemitism and Islamophobia. Do better.
The apathy
When I say "the apathy", I mean exactly that. It is exhausting having to call out these horrid things time and time again and then see people WILLINGLY ignoring blatant bigotry by brushing it off and saying "I don't want to get involved in drama", as if somebody being a bigot is akin to a quarrel between two friends, or a disagreement between two people. If you aren't willing to address genuine harm ONLINE, then I'm sorry, but I doubt you would do anything OFFLINE either. If you're boiling things that actually harm people down to "drama", then I'm sorry, but you can't expect to be considered a safe person for people to be open with and to be honest with when it comes to their mental health or to their triggers. It's that simple. Your apathy towards your fellow man is blatant, and I cannot in good conscience continue to rub shoulders with such people.
Going forward
I'm not going to be engaging with MOST of the content within the Call Of Duty fandom - whether that's edits, fanfic, fanart, etc. I'm not. I've got a few mutuals who I've decided I WILL continue reading from or looking at their art or whatever, but for the most part, I'm not going to be active within the Call Of Duty fandom. I will continue writing for SOME of the characters, but my list of who I write for will be drastically reduced to just a few select characters. If somebody asks me "hey, is X thing saneist?" then of course I'll answer. If somebody points out to me that I took a request from someone who follows a rape pornographer, then I will delete that request and that fanfic entirely. I will still be happy to talk about the characters & games, but it will only be WHEN ASKED, and I will continue to use my DNI (although I'm going to change it a little so that the rape porn viewers/readers know I don't want them near me).
Of course, if anyone requires further clarification on anything I said, I'll be happy to answer and explain as best as I can! And if anyone feels emboldened by this post to come forward and share their own experiences with such things, then I will happily read through that, too! This post is 100% okay to reblog, and if anyone wishes to reblog it and go "This is also why I left the fandom", then I will happily hear you out. What I will NOT hear out, however, is any justification or defence of any of the harmful behaviours I have mentioned - I do not wish to hear it. Pack it in, and take it to 4Chan where you belong.
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You're Like Me
Part Twelve: Run, Little Girl
Description: A loose idea for saving you sparks conflict.
Warnings: References to rape and torture, language, references to poor mental health
Word Count: 2125
Tag List: @theshelbyslimited @ttaechi @weaponizedvirtue @majesticcmey @optimisticsandwichgladiator @zablife @princesssterek @mm0thie @callsignvenus @ay0nha @mgdixon @fairytale07 @babayaga67 @look-at-the-soul @shelbydelrey @globetrotter28
When you were younger, trapped in a constant cycle of hotel rooms and hazy, feverish feeding frenzies, you acted as though love was a brutish thing, something to be brushed off and forgotten about. Like a bruise on your body left over from some client with more insidious inclinations, it only hurt if you thought about it. Love was performed, used in order to gain some gentleness, maybe, placed on your form like a costume. As soon as it was over, as soon as you could let it go, it became a brash, useless thing again, pointless. You loved a girl and you would never have been able to make something out of it. That was the beautiful thing about it; you were doomed from the start, and yet, you still dove in without holding your breath. You tried to nurture a still-born. You wanted to love yourself and you looked in a mirror and you weren’t sure who that was. It’s hard, you think, to take such a risk as to love. In your years on this earth, you’ve looked at love from afar and thought you could never have it. As a child, you looked at anything kind and saw darkness underneath it.
You are Eve and you’ve taken a bite from the apple, and now you’re aware, far too aware, of the evil in the world. These are things you have said and done, and most of them make you a victim or a villain. These are the people you have been, and most of them are sad.
Now, though, you are starting to see the good too. Because a white horse prances through the arena and he stands beside you and watches with soft blue eyes and his head tilted towards you, just slightly. Because when you wake from a nightmare, or from fitful half-sleep, and you call him, he always picks up. Because on the few nights you have together now, you share a bed, and he does not touch you. Because he is the closest you’ve ever had to safety, and you’re not sure what you fear more; the circumstance of it being taken away, or the possibility of it staying and learning who you are without the trauma making you a survivor.
There is a quiet battle happening in front of your eyes. They are trying to locate you. There are men, he says, who prowl Birmingham with hungry eyes and dirty clothes, and they don’t settle. They pace and provoke and pester until people fall prey to their pressure and answer their questions, all too vague to pinpoint, but too pointed to be for anyone else. Descriptions of your younger self float through the city, and you find yourself face to face with who you used to be. That person who held fast to life when everything around her asked her to want to die.
How does one kill a hydra? Tommy struggles with this, pacing back and forth in the bedroom. You lie back on the bed, your legs dangling off the side, and stare up at the ceiling. If he tries to take down the current lead, a man named Liszt, then another will simply take his place, and they’ll know where the threat comes from. A web of men dangle around Liszt, prepared to fight for him and what he stands for, and targeting one of them would likely wipe out the Shelbys, powerful as they are.
“Money?” You turn your head to look at him, your eyes drifting over him. He wears a white dress shirt, sleeves rolled up, and a black vest and pants, accessorized, of course, by a gold chain and finely made watch. “If we could somehow stop their revenue, that might do something.”
“Lead the girls out on strike and watch them get shot?” He shakes his head, continuing to pace. His head rolls back on his shoulders, stretching out his tired muscles, and he looks up at the ceiling, pausing. “You’re not gonna like this.”
“Oh God, okay.” You sit up, one arm supporting you on the bed while the other toys with the belt you wear. “What is it?”
“Only way I can think of is to infiltrate. Report back to my connections. Take them down from the inside.”
You blink slowly at him, unbelieving. “And you’re suggesting you go into that world and— and what? Pretend to be one of them? Tommy, you know that line is thin.”
“Arthur’s not careful. John doesn’t take things seriously. Can’t ask Pol or Ada. Who else?” He looks over at you, eyes flicking to your hand on your belt, then back up to your face.
“No.” You press your lips together, staring him down. “I won’t let you”
Knowing what he’d say as soon as he opens his mouth, you shake your head. “Because I don’t want to see you put into positions where you’re forced to rape and torture and use young girls like who I used to be. I don’t care the reason why you’d be doing that, you’d still be doing it.. Intention doesn’t matter when it’s going to affect someone for the rest of their lives.”
“I wouldn’t be doing all that.” He gives you that infuriating, searching look, like he’s unsure how he should proceed and wants you to tell him how.
“Yeah, you wouldn’t start out doing that, but you’d get deeper and deeper. Boiling a frog.”
“I’m not a frog.”
“No shit, Sherlock. It’s a metaphor.”
“No, I’ll know when I get too deep.”
You resist rolling your eyes, both wanting to express your frustration and also maintain the mutual respect you serve each other. “You’ll know when you get in too deep like I knew I wasn’t actually being sent to a boarding school?”
The sentiment hovers between you, tense in the air, and you become deeply conscious of the rise and fall of your chest, of the way your fingers fall still on the belt. He will get in too deep, you think, and by that time, it’ll be too late to back out. It’ll be too late to change anything. He’ll be stuck, like you were, in a loop of being forced to do something you would never choose, would never wish on anyone.
“It’s the only way.”
“That’s a cowardly argument and you know it.”
“You’re afraid to take the risk that’ll ultimately save your life.” His voice raises slightly. “I’m not the fucking coward.”
You bristle, standing up and stalking towards him. “Why are you so desperate to risk your life for me? What does that say about you, huh? Do you care about me or hate yourself?”
It was a low blow. You said it without thinking, without realizing the effect it might have. His eyes widen slightly, and his jaw tightens, and he takes a step back, then another, then turns and starts to walk out of the bedroom.
“Tommy, wait.” You follow him, socks sliding on the wooden floor. “Wait, I didn’t mean that.”
“Yes. You fucking did.” He’s bitter, not giving you the time to explain yourself.
Your heart pounds in your temples.”Thomas, you know I don’t think—”
“You do. You do, and you’re right. You’re fucking right.” He turns and points a finger in your chest, rheeling on you. “I’m fucking— I’m not right in the head, and you know it, and you’re like everybody else in this damn family and look at me like I’m the worst thing a human being can be. I’m getting fucking tired of it. For once could someone treat me like I’m not a liability?”
“First of all,” you snap back, a hollow sensation filling your chest and something cold spiking your heart. “I happen to quite like you, so whatever you’ve got in that head of yours about me looking at you like the worst thing ever is all you. You’re not right in the head, and neither am I, and I don’t blame you for that, so we can move right on from what I just said to you. That was bullshit and I’m sorry. Lastly, and this is probably the most important,” You take a step towards him, leaving about a foot between you. “Who the hell told you that having feelings and vulnerabilities made you a liability?”
He straightens, the furrow in his brow loosening, the anger in his face turning to something tensely thoughtful, the expression someone would take when doing difficult math or strategizing. He considers you, taking a few deep breaths, then looks away. “Probably me.”
You nod slightly, reaching out a hand to take his. “I’m sorry I said that. I got heated at that moment. I didn’t mean it.”
“You still said it.”
“Yeah. And that’s on me. It wasn’t right to say that to you.” You squeeze his hand, peering up at him, trying to read his expression. “Are you ready to move on?”
He nods slowly, eyes staring off over your shoulder, mind clearly elsewhere. You gently tug at his arm, leading him back to the bedroom.
Once the door is closed behind you, you let go of his hand and cross your arms. “What?”
His lips purse in an almost-pout and he shakes his head.
“Out with it.”
His lips twitch up and he stares at you, as if waiting for you to speak.
“Thomas Michael Shelby, is this funny to you?” You step towards him, resisting smiling back and failing miserably.
His smile widens, and you catch a glimpse, for the first time since you met him, of the boy he used to be, all charm and sleepy eyes. Your heart flutters and you feel your cheeks heat slightly.
“Oh, so it is funny.”
“I’ve been with a lot of women, and—”
“Oh boy, I’m so excited to hear what comes after that absolutely stunning start to a sentence.”
“Do you want me to talk or not?”
You incline your head, trying to hide a grin.
“I”ve been with a lot of women, and they all wanted Thomas Shelby. Except Grace.” His tone sobers. “Not Grace.”
You stay quiet, tilting your head, letting him have the space to speak. Grace’s name serves as a kind of silent message between the two of you; that he wants, or needs to be able to speak his mind without interruption, no matter how long the pauses take, no matter how shy or uncertain he seems. You don’t speak until it’s over.
“I’m a broken man. I’m no fucking joy to be around, and there’s no great reward for knowing me like they always expect. I’m heartless, cold, and called the Devil. But you—” He looks away from you, swallowing hard before he speaks. “You don’t give a shit who I am. Just yelled at you in the hallway and you didn’t fucking flinch. You’re brave. Or— or not smart enough to know better.”
You shake your head, chuckling slightly. “You know I’m neither, Tom. If you’re asking why I stick around, I’ll tell you.”
He looks back at you, giving you a slight nod.
You step forward, placing a hand on his chest, just above his heart. “You say you're heartless but you’re not. You say you’re cold but you’re not. You’re like me. You’ve adapted to live in a world that isn’t fair to you. You’re ashamed to admit that your heart beats like mine does. And I— I love you for that.”
Slowly, his hand lifts to cover yours on his chest, his eyes slide shut, and he speaks his next words in one long breath. “There are better men—”
“And they’re not you.” You smile, slipping your hand up his chest to hold his face, stroking his cheek with your thumb. Eyes still closed, he leans into you, and his whole body seems to shift, to relax, to move to you. “I choose you, Tom. Like you chose me.”
He nods, his soft eyes opening to look down at you, pupils a little larger than before.
You shift your weight forward and kiss him, and he melts into you, lips soft and pliant, allowing you to take some control. Your other hand rests on his waist, gently pulling him towards you. You fit together, entwined, his hands resting on your hips, delicately holding you. You pull away to rest your forehead against his, and you sway in silence, an almost-dance.
“Stay the night.” It’s not a question.
You chuckle. “I have to do the horses in the morning.”
“Fuck the horses.”
“Maybe don’t.”
His hands, hesitantly, pull you to stand flush against him. His voice is breathy. “Please. Stay the night.”
You exhale slowly. “Alright. Alright, we can— we can try.”
#peaky blinders#peaky blinders x reader#tommy shelby#tommy shelby x reader#thomas shelby#peaky blinders imagine#thomas shelby x reader#tommy shelby imagine#peaky blinder imagine#peaker blinders fandom#thomas shelby x y/n#thomas shelby imagine#thomas shelby fanfic#tommy shelby fanfic#tommy x grace#only the wild ones#peaky fucking blinders#peaky blinders fanfic
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i think sexual abuse is a lot more complicated than ppl want to admit and i’m going to use two (of the many) scenarios i’ve personally been in to talk abt it. it’s gonna get kind of explicit so just be warned.
so the first scenario is me and my high school boyfriend. we're both 15 and horny all the time, and the first time we have sex i didn't even know it was going to happen. we were messing around in my garage, and he just like. stuck it in. was losing my virginity bent over a tractor in the garage the way i wanted to lose my virginity? no. did he ask for my consent? no. but. i do not consider what happened to me to be rape or assault. it didn't upset me, it didn't cause me trauma, it really didn't affect me beyond "holy shit i lost my virginity."
the second scenario is something that happened frequently between me and my abusive ex boyfriend. i would be in the mood for sex, express that interest to him, he would reject me, so i would back off. then after a minute, he would start flirting with me and showing interest in having sex with me, so i'd start flirting back, and then he'd reject me again. and when i say reject, i don't just mean "i'm not in the mood" i mean "ew why are you being so clingy get off me" when moments before he'd been grabbing my ass. he would go through this cycle until he was satisfied that i felt shitty enough about myself that i'd let him do whatever he wanted. did i want to have sex? yes. did i consent to that sex? yes. but. i consider what happened to be sexual abuse because he explicitly needed me to feel like shit in order for him to enjoy the sex and in order for me to not question what happened during it because i would feel like i "wanted it."
between those two scenarios, only one happened specifically without my consent. but that's not the scenario i consider to be assault. some might say the second situation was a negation of consent, and i think it absolutely can be. but for me and my own personal experience, i consider it to essentially be weaponizing the consent i did give, which is what made it so insidious. and i feel like people often want to project that violation of consent onto me regardless of how i actually describe the event because they conflate consent with healthy sex, so any unhealthy sex must be a violation of consent, and that's just not how it always works.
i feel like discussions around sexual assault tend to be so incredibly black and white, which makes sense because the people participating in them are traumatized! it's hard to have nuance when you're traumatized! but i think it's still important to have these conversations because there have been times where i was in spaces specifically for survivors and was told that what happened to me wasn't abuse because i consented, and it was "insensitive" to compare it to "actual rape" (which i also experienced from the same ex). in order to really heal, we need to be able to have these tough conversations, because i promise they're worth it.
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Iowa's starvation strategy
I don’t really buy that “the cruelty is the point.” I’m a materialist. Money talks, bullshit walks. When billionaires fund unimaginably cruel policies, I think the cruelty is a tactic, a way to get the turkeys to vote for Christmas. After all, policies that grow the fortune of the 1% at the expense of the rest of us have a natural 99% disapproval rating.
If you’d like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here’s a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/04/19/whats-wrong-with-iowa/#replicable-cruelty
So when some monstrous new law or policy comes down the pike, it’s best understood as a way of getting frightened, angry — and often hateful — people to vote for policies that will actively harm them, by claiming that they will harm others — brown and Black people, women, queers, and the “undeserving” poor.
Pro-oligarch policies don’t win democratic support — but policies that inflict harm a ginned-up group of enemies might. Oligarchs need frightened, hateful people to vote for policies that will secure and expand the power of the rich. Cruelty is the tactic. Power is the strategy. The point isn’t cruelty, it’s power:
https://pluralistic.net/2022/06/25/roe-v-wade-v-abortion/#no-i-in-uterus
But that doesn’t change the fact that the policies are cruel indeed. Take Iowa, whose billionaire-backed far-right legislature is on a tear, a killing spree that includes active collaboration with rapists, through a law that denies abortion care to survivors of rape and forces them to bear and care for their rapists’ babies:
https://www.nytimes.com/2023/03/16/us/politics/iowa-kamala-harris-abortion.html
The forced birth movement is part of the wider far-right tactic of standing up for imaginary children (e.g. “the unborn,” fictional victims of Hollywood pedo cabals), and utterly abandons real children: poor kids who can’t afford school lunches, kids in cages, kids victimized by youth pastors, kids forced into child labor, etc.
So Iowa isn’t just a forced birth state, it’s a state where children are now to be starved, literally. The state legislature has just authorized an $18m project to kick people off of SNAP (aka food stamps). 270,000 people in Iowa rely on SNAP: elderly people, disabled people, and parents who can’t feed their kids.
Writing in the Washington Post, Kyle Swenson profiles some of these Iowans, like an elderly woman who visited Lisa Spitler’s food pantry for help and said that state officials had told her that she was only eligible for $23/month in assistance:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/dc-md-va/2023/04/16/iowa-snap-restrictions-food-stamps/
That’s because Iowa governor KimReynolds signed a bill cutting the additional SNAP aid — federally funded, and free to the state taxpayers of Iowa — that had been made available during the lockdown. Since then, food pantries have been left to paper over the cracks in the system, as Iowans begin to starve.
Before the pandemic, Spitler’s food pantry saw 30 new families a month. Now it’s 100 — and growing. Many of these families have been kicked off of SNAP because they failed to complete useless and confusing paperwork, or did so but missed the short deadlines now imposed by the state. For example, people with permanent disabilities and elderly people who no longer work must continuously file new paperwork confirming that their income hasn’t changed. Their income never changes.
SNAP recipients often work, borrow from relations, and visit food pantries, and still can’t make ends meet, like Amy Cunningham, a 31 year old mother of four in Charlton. She works at a Subway, has tapped her relatives for all they can afford, and relies on her $594/month in SNAP to keep her kids from going hungry. She missed her notice of an annual review and was kicked off the program. Getting kicked off took an instant. Getting reinstated took a starving eternity.
Iowa has a budget surplus of $1.91B. This doesn’t stop ghouls like Iowa House speaker Pat Grassley (a born-rich nepobaby whose grandpa is Senator Chuck Grassley) from claiming that the cuts were a necessity: “[SNAP is] growing within the budget, and are putting pressure on us being able to fund other priorities.”
Grassley’s caucus passed legislation on Jan 30 to kick people off of SNAP if their combined assets, including their work vehicle, total to more than $15,000. SNAP recipients will be subject to invasive means-testing and verification, which will raise the cost of administering SNAP from $2.2m to $18m. Anyone who gets flagged by the system has 10 days to respond or they’ll be kicked off of SNAP.
The state GOP justifies this by claiming that SNAP has an “error rate” of 11.81%. But that “error rate” includes people who were kicked off SNAP erroneously, a circumstance that is much more common than fraud, which is almost nonexistent in SNAP programs. Iowa’s error rate is in line with the national average.
Iowa’s pro-starvation law was authored by a conservative dark-money “think tank” based in Florida: the Opportunity Solutions Project, the lobbying arm of Foundation For Government Accountability, run by Tarren Bragdon, a Maine politician with a knack for getting money from the Koch Network and the DeVos family for projects that punish, humiliate and kill marginalized people. The Iowa bill mirrors provisions passed in Kentucky, Kansas, Wisconsin and elsewhere — and goes beyond them.
The law was wildly unpopular, but it passed anyway. It’s part of the GOP’s push for massive increases in government spending and bureaucracy — but only when those increases go to punishing poor people, policing poor people, jailing poor people, and spying on poor people. It’s truly amazing that the “party of small government” would increase bureaucratic spending to administer SNAP by 800% — and do it with a straight face.
In his essay “The Utopia of Rules,” David Graeber (Rest in Power) described this pathology: just a couple decades ago, the right told us that our biggest threat was Soviet expansion, which would end the “American way of life” and replace it with a dismal world where you spent endless hours filling in pointless forms, endured hunger and substandard housing, and shopped at identical stores that all carried the same goods:
https://memex.craphound.com/2015/02/02/david-graebers-the-utopia-of-rules-on-technology-stupidity-and-the-secret-joys-of-bureaucracy/
A society that can’t feed, house and educate its residents is a failed state. America’s inability to do politics without giving corporations a fat and undeserved share is immiserating an ever-larger share of its people. Federally, SNAP is under huge stress, thanks to the “public-private partnership” at the root of a badly needed “digital overhaul” of the program.
Writing for The American Prospect, Luke Goldstein describes how the USDA changed SNAP rules to let people pay with SNAP for groceries ordered online, as a way to deal with the growing problem of food deserts in poor and rural communities:
https://prospect.org/health/2023-04-19-retail-surveils-food-stamp-users/
It’s a good idea — in theory. But it was sabotaged from the start: first, the proposed rule was altered to ban paying for delivery costs with SNAP, meaning that anyone who ordered food online would have to use scarce cash reserves to pay delivery fees. Then, the USDA declined to negotiate discounts on behalf of the 40 million SNAP users. Finally, the SNAP ecommerce rules don’t include any privacy protections, which will be a bonanza for shadowy data-brokers, who’ll mine SNAP recipients’ data to create marketing lists for scammers, predatory lenders, and other bottom-feeder:
https://www.democraticmedia.org/sites/default/files/field/public-files/2020/cdd_snap_report_ff.pdf
The GOP’s best weapon in this war is statistical illiteracy. While racist, sexist and queerphobic policies mean that marginalized people are more likely than white people to be poor, America’s large population of white people — including elderly white people who are the immovable core of the GOP base — means that policies that target poor people inevitably inflict vast harms on the GOP’s most devoted followers.
Getting these turkeys to vote for Christmas is a sound investment for the ultra-rich, who claim a larger share of the American pie every year. The rich may or may not be racist, or sexist, or queerphobic — some of them surely are — but the reason they pour money into campaigns to stoke divisions among working people isn’t because they get off on hatred. The hatred is a tactic. The cruelty is a tactic. The strategic goal is wealth and power.
Tomorrow (Apr 21), I’m speaking in Chicago at the Stigler Center’s Antitrust and Competition Conference. This weekend (Apr 22/23), I’m at the LA Times Festival of Books.
[Image ID: The Iowa state-house. On the right side of the steps is an engraved drawing of Oliver Twist, holding out his porridge bowl. On the left side is the cook, denying him an extra portion. Peeking out from behind the dome is a business-man in a suit with a dollar-sign-emblazoned money-bag for a head.]
Image:
Iqkotze (modified)
https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Iowa_State_Capitol_April_2010.jpg
CC BY 3.0
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/3.0/deed.en
#pluralistic#ecommerce#Foundation for Government Accountability#fga#iowa#florida#ebt#david graeber#utopia of rules#big government#usda#surveillance#cruelty#gop#devos#starvation#food stamps#snap#koch network#Tarren Bragdon#state policy network
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Team Green is in the right💚💚💚 they are right no matter what you say.
How dare you say that Tg supports a r*p!st ???🤬
TG DOESN'T SUPPORT R*P1STS, infact, THEY support Rape survivors.
Like Alicent, who had to commit *duty and sacrifice* unlike Rhaenyra. No, she's right in everything, because she did duty and sacrifice.
TG, also supports another rape survivor, Cristin cole!💚💚💚
Did you know that Rhaenyra r*aped criston? Cristin was innocent the whole time, he did nothing wrong because silver princess seduced him.
I can't wait until TG supports other rape supporters. TG is the protecter of r*pe survivors.
So I can't until they support another r*pe victim, dyana. I can't wait to see thier support for dyana in season 2.
TG says they are r*ape victim protectors, didn't they? So wait till they support dyana.
ngl, this DID get me for a second, because this is how they genuinely sound like. they love to preach modern day morality onto characters like alicent and helaena, but suddenly it’s ’you’re not supposed to view the show/book through a modern day lens’ when it comes to rhaenyra.
‘supporters of rape victims’ except the audience not seeing aegon rape dyana on screen means that it didn’t happen, helaena’s implication of being sexually abused by her brother at the dinner scene is ‘taken out of context’ and she actually LOVES her brother, and he her. the only character that they can for sure agree on being maritally raped and abused is alicent, and how dare rhaenyra also be a victim of the men around her, just not in the same palatable way as the other women in her circle who suffer in silence, making it other women’s problems and not their actual abusers?
“she cuckolded her husband and had obvious bastards! she wanted her brother tortured in defense of her bastards! her bastards aren’t human, and by that count, neither is she! she should be grateful that she and her children were only abused for 10+ years by alicent! she should be grateful that alicent was attempting to have her and her kids disinherited, exiled, or even put to death; she was obviously manipulated by the father she hadn’t seen in well over 10 years, it was all him! and daemon!! the guy who she also didn’t see for 10+ years, and never once mentioned outside of episode nine’s ‘rhaenyra will never bend the knee, nor will daemon.’ she’s been terrified of these almost nonexistent men for years, it’s justifiable why she baited her kids against their sister! making herself and her kids enemies of the *one* person who would have the authority to have them killed when she takes the throne! if rhaenyra had been a good girl and done her duty, maybe she would deserve our sympathy! but she didn’t so she deserves to die a horrible and gruesome fate for fighting back! sunfyre ate!”
their support for dyana has already reared it’s rather ugly head, just look at any pro team black comment sections on tiktok or general posts on twitter 🤷♀️ very nice of them to be as supportive of dyana as they are of alicent. i mean, just look at the evidence:
this is totally normal behavior.
#house of the dragon#rhaenyra targaryen#pro rhaenyra targaryen#team black#pro team black#anti alicent hightower#anti alicent stans#anti aegon ii targaryen#anti aegon ii stans#anti team green#anti team green stans#nah bc if i meet any of the ‘rhaenyra sa’d criston’ people irl it’s on sight#we get such good content and then BAM#a plethora of freaks appear#we don’t even know dyana’s role next season 😭#faye answers
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SAAM2024 - SA Awareness Month
TW: SA, discussions around rape and sexual violence
Listen, I’m going to talk about something it isn’t easy or fun to talk about. I’m going to try and get a point across, and hopefully have it amount to something legible, because I am already feeling my body physically reacting with symptoms of stress.
I want to talk about sexual assault.
Did you know that April is Sexual Assault Awareness Month? And has been, for the last 23 years? Because I sure didn’t! Which is wild, considering I am a survivor of six separate incidents of sexual assault, two of which were penetrative rape.
I looked up the SAAM2024 hashtag and found crickets. Because who the hell wants to talk about sexual violence and rape on a random Thursday, right?
The thing is, we need to be having these conversations.
Of course, the onus isn’t on survivors to start the conversation — who would ask someone who is horrifically traumatised to open those scars again and talk about their trauma? I couldn’t even say the word “rape” for years.
[note: I have chosen not to censor the word rape here as a part of my own recovery process. Its just a word. I refuse to let it incite terror. Its just a word. ]
So who, then? If we could all talk about sex and sexual assault —if these were topics of conversation that weren’t so taboo to discuss— we could begin to take steps to make things safer for ourselves and for others.
So here I am, talking.
I feel it is important to destigmatise sex as this hush hush topic; it’s important to be able to discuss safe sex, consent, to differentiate what is just “bad sex” from what is assault. People are often quick to brush off encounters that give them the ick as just “bad sex”.
I was no different.
At sixteen, I didn’t have the terminology to describe what happened to me as rape. In a culture that glamorises illicit affairs and drunken hook-ups at parties, I didn’t have the comprehension to realise that what happened to me was not some sexy, drunken, desirable thing.
[trigger warning for more context around the first of my rapes]
I had been at a party, celebrating the wrap of my high school’s theatre production. I had been drinking underage and was extremely drunk*.
(*which in no way excuses what happened to me — it is important to take steps to dismantle rape culture and victim-blaming.)
There was a classmate I had been on a few dates with, and though we had been handsy during makeout sessions a few times, we had never discussed having sex. He offered to pick me up from the party, to give me a place to stay for the night. He had not been in attendance at the party, and was completely sober. By the time he drove us both home, I was already intermittently blacking out.
I have only a few memories of that night. One, crystal clear even to this day — a concerned classmate, grabbing my arm as I was heading out of the venue. The look of alarm on his face as he asked if I had a safe means of transport home. I lied to him. I have no idea why. I told him my mother was waiting in the vehicle that had just pulled up, and he let me go.
The next memory that I have is of his bedroom ceiling. A vague, blurred outline of his unclothed body over mine, as he was raping me.
Yes, we had been at that tentative, early stage of a potential relationship. Yes, I had taken him up on the offer to go to sleep at his house.
But, in the state I was in, there is no possible way I could have consented to sex.
I knew something was wrong, afterwards. I knew I spent the next night curled in a ball, sobbing in the shower for a reason. I knew there was a reason I froze up when a friend side-eyed me at school the following Monday, and said “you had sex with him, didn’t you?”.
What I didn’t understand was that the reason was because I had been raped.
Because I didn’t have the vocabulary to describe my experience as such.
Because people don’t like to talk about sexual assault.
But we need to talk about sexual assault.
Conversations about sex can and should be removed from the concept of arousal. You can and should talk about sex without it being labelled as horny, or flirty, or suggestive — because it is just another topic to learn about.
Sex is an intricately nuanced thing that can mean so many different things to so many different people. There are elements of shame and embarrassment around sexual encounters sometimes; young and naive as I was, I was ready to take my crawling feelings of shame, self-blame, disgust, and put them down to “it was just bad sex”.
It wasn’t until long after the horror of my second, more violent rape, that I was able to pinpoint some of the trauma responses as being the same as that first time. There were patterns there, feelings that, had I been in a position of knowing more about safe sex and consent, I would have recognised sooner for what they were.
Its all well and good to go “hey! Don’t rape people!” and pat yourself on the back for your activism.
But the thing is, that kind of does sweet fuck all to actually help people who are at risk of experiencing sexual violence. What we really need is to take actionable steps toward improving people’s sexual safety and practises around consent and safe sex.
So what does that look like?
We talk about sex and consent without stigma.
We believe survivors and do not victim-blame
We practice respecting other people’s bodily autonomy in everyday scenarios, before it ever reaches a sexual context — if someone doesn’t want to hug you, respect their autonomy! If someone tells you to stop tickling them, even though they are laughing, hey, guess what? Respect their autonomy!
We remember what consent looks like, and take steps to inform others — consent is always clear, continuous, coercion-free, and conscious.
We make it second nature to take basic steps toward safety — never leave a drink unattended at a party! Stick to a buddy system to ensure people get home safe! Not because you suspect something will happen, it's just a default behaviour!
Be that classmate that tries to stop a drunk person walking out into the night alone.
The more we do these kinds of things, the less mystical and nebulous this whole “safe sex and healthy consent” thing becomes, and the safer we all are for it.
I’m gonna cut myself off here for my own wellbeing, as this has been extremely taxing, but let me provide a few links that I think are relevant. I hope this might be in some way helpful, and encourages others to continue the conversation offline. (or online, even -- reblogs are totally fine, and please feel free to add other stories or links if you have resources to share)
Be safe, and to any SA survivors who happen to be reading this, please know that you will always be yours, and what happened to you was not your fault. 💖
What is Consent (VeryWellMind)
History of Sexual Assault Awareness Month (NSVRC)
Sexual Violence Prevention: Beginning the Dialogue (NSVRC)
How to Support a Survivor (CRCC)
Finding Help If You’ve Been Sexually Abused (Crisis Text Line)
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Our bodies are so sacred and sensitive to us. Its where our pain is held in. I still do not like to be touched by men. I don’t like hugs, don’t shake my hand don’t even look at me. The only thing that comes to my mind is are you one of them? What are your intentions? Are you one of the ones who really do rape women but no one would believe it because your a “good guy”.
I feel so disgusting right now. Ugh I can feel him inside of me and I can’t wash away that feeling. This week has been pure hell. I don’t even feel like my body is my own anymore. Like he still has control over my body.
The body memories are pretty bad. I can feel him kissing me and touching me and I can still feel his semen on my thighs. I can’t wash it away. I use the scrub brush that I have in the shower but I still feel dirty.
I just want to feel clean again. I want to be pure again. I’m still adjusting to what making love feels like. Its like you’ve been raped and molested for 12 years of your life, its the only thing you’re used to feeling. Its the only experience that you have. So when people say its just sex what’s the big deal? Its not just sex to us.
People need to really understand that we were hurt in the most intimate way possible. That’s something that we have to work through. We can’t rush it, it has to be on our time not yours. We have flashbacks and panic attacks and most of the time you won’t even know it. We hide it so well. I hide mine all the time. Its embarrassing to experience. How do you deal with it and then have it in front of other people? What do you say? What do you do? It happens and you can’t explain it to a stranger. You can’t say oh I had a panic attack because I was raped. Then they look at you funny and judge you and your face turns red because your left again feeling like its your fault.
I think about things like that every single day of my life. I think about what I wear when I leave the house because I always have to worry about what men are gonna say or do. I have to worry about men touching me when I go outside and use the excuse me shawty bs excuse when they “accidentally” bump into you and then call you a bitch when you don’t say shit to them. I think about if my jeans are too tight or if I’m showing too much skin. I worry about the dress I put on because I’m expecting to hear the words slut or hoe come out of their mouth when I say I’m not interested.
As if what I have on gives you fuckin permission or consent to anything on my damn body. I wish men who don’t understand will listen and learn that women aren’t property. WE DON'T BELONG TO YOU. If we go out on a date I don’t owe you shit, if I kiss you, I still don’t owe you shit, if we have oral and that’s it I still don't owe you shit. WE DON'T OWE YOU ANYTHING. Why is that hard to understand. If I don’t want to do anything with you or if I change my mind, that’s my right to do so, respect it.
I don’t like men buying me anything. I won’t accept it. Like when I was dating I always carried money so that I can pay for my own because I didn’t want anyone thinking I owed them sex because they bought me dinner or took me to the movies. Every single time in my life a man has bought me anything he has expected sex from me in return except for my husband. Hes different and I love that about him.
#rape#molestation#body memories#somatic memories#ptsd#black rape survivors#black rape victims#black women
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