It's not fair that in some other universe I could've been some weird creature. Why can't I be an eldritch monstrosity that lives deep in the woods??? Instead I have to do math and learn to pay taxes!?!???
265 notes
·
View notes
haso thought
What if an alien had an encounter with someone who was lactose intolerant, and the alien immediately thought ALL humans were lactose intolerant ?
Like, imagine,
H1: my body is in agony, but I don't regret any of my decisions
A asking H2:.. um, are they ok?
H2: oh yeah, they're fine, they're just lactose intolerant
A: what is that?
H1: my body can't process a certain chemical in dairy
A: ARE ALL HUMANS LIKE THIS? oh goodness, do we need to contact the captain, are you going to die??? Do humans die after they ingest dairy???
H2, laughing: oh no no, not all humans are lactose intolerant! It's only some people, and they don't die, their body has a way of "rejecting" dairy...
H1: *running off to the bathroom while hunched over in pain*
217 notes
·
View notes
Things to pack in your bag based off what my elders told me as a child.
Rabbit or Bird scissors: For cutting ties, creation, protection and giving you the gifts of the animal that is on the scissors.
Dice: so you may do fast divination, tell stories, and never fall prey to a entities enchanted dice in a foul challange.
Playing cards: divination for those that don't wish to dirty their tarot and for a good game of course.
Skeleton key: for unlocking unseen doors
One acorn: making a trade of course or paying a toll.
Your lucky coin: for luck of course
Thimble: for trade, a act of affection or a gift.
Spool of red thread: ward off the wicked and help you never lose your way.
One hazel nut: rub it for wisdom when needed
A silver or iron needle: for stitching up your clothes if they get ripped or for making a pendulum with a string.
Pendulum: { though a needls on the thread can make a pendulum } for guiding your way and asking the spirits for help.
Clear quartz: ward off evil and for manifesting.
Three pumpkin seeds: for protection, granting wishes, and calling upon pumpkin headed Jack.
Bird seed, honey or a flower/flower seeds if possible: befriend the birds and bees, they know everything and make for good allies.
Your name written down: some things may wish to take your name or make you forget it, have your name written down so you don't forget.
A small notebook and pen/pencil: writing down all you see, feel and the things you must know. You must never be without these.
A stone or wood piece with a hole in it: for seeing the things for what they truly are.
They always gave us an orange, bread and cheese or jam in case we came across some hungry mouth though the hungry mouths were mostly our own..
We were also gifted strange little dolls, whistles,little flutes, harmonicas and lockets that never seemed to open for what I couldn't say but I'm sure they had their reasons for gifting us such things.
909 notes
·
View notes
Just IMAGINE the speed you could rip apart something with these
85 notes
·
View notes
Imagine an alien being confused by humans not being worried about animal bites, but if they ever get bitten by another human they instantly freak out bc✨ bacterial infection ✨ and of course the alien is like
???? Explain ???
346 notes
·
View notes