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antihell · 1 year

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i want to write poetry

i want to write poetry but the words won't come out like a thorn in my side or a festering wound there are so many things that i want to say that i have never been able to.

i want to write poetry but my voice is too soft my pauses too long my stammers too distracting the trembling blocking my voice from any clarity at all.

i want to write poetry but i don't know where to start what shall i unravel? so many choices maybe tomorrow i will make up my mind on what emotion to dig up and what trauma to excavate.

i want to write poetry but i forget the words i'm strangled by my own metaphors stupefied by symbolism that is trite and obvious. why should i compare things that have been compared since the beginning of time?

i want to write poetry but my sunsets are no more pink than every other one as dusk envelops the horizon. my flowers no more beautiful, no more like love. my sorrow is not blue and my anger is not red, but my soul is purple and i'm still trying to figure out how that could be.

—z.k.

#spilled ink #my writing #poets of tumblr #writers of tumblr #my poetry #i'll be editing this a lot #belial wrote

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luceafarul-de-dimineata · 11 days

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I think Jjyu sometimes accidentally gets too close when Belial straightens his bangs and gets burned a little… and you can tell because he’s especially mouthy that day

Real

I can see Belial being sad that he burned his friend but also annoyed that Jjyu refuses to get off his head when he straightens his hair.

#whb #what in hell is bad #whb belial #whb jjyu #I almost wrote jjok

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goldenteaset · 2 months

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Well this is agonizing. ;_; This is your urgent cue, devs, please please bring Belial back into a story event soon! (I'm glad that Vane's getting more popular, at least, but...he...)

#belial gbf #granblue fantasy #He's number 1 forever in my heart!!!#Should I wrote more fics about him? “Proselytize?” (as Lunalu would put it)#As silly as this is this cannot stand

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somereaderinblue · 8 months

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Ultraman Geed: Fatherhood

Right from the get go, Zero was introduced to serve as Belial's foil. Upon rewatching Geed, I noticed the writers once again applying this trope but in circumstances of the present instead of the past.

The circumstance: fatherhood.

SPOILERS FOR ULTRAMAN GEED UP AHEAD!!!

Belial is the 'father' of the MC, Geed/Riku. He created his 'son' with the sole purpose of using him as a pawn. You'd think the evil mastermind would personally raise the boy to groom him into the perfect obedient underling, right?

Wrong. Bro handed him off to Kei & both of them decided the best course of action was to leave the baby at the observatory.

Belial intentionally, fully consciously created a child (him being a clone doesn't change the fact that said clone at the time was a baby in need of care) with no intention of taking responsibility for him. In other words, he's a deadbeat dad.

Zero on the other hand couldn't have been anymore different. His host is Leito, a salaryman & a father. However, there's no way he could've known about the second part before choosing Leito as his host. Mayu was a variable that just happened.

He was taken off guard but took it in stride. Now, he could've remained apathetic to Leito's role as a father & what it entails (i.e. the bond a father shares with his daughter) afterwards but he doesn't.

He sees what it's like to be a parent. He learns to understand how precious humans are as individuals who are a sum of a family instead of a species. When Mayu is threatened, he doesn't just protect her because it's the right thing to do or for Leito's sake. He does it bcz Mayu, the 'daughter' he never thought he'd meet, is someone Zero cares for.

Zero is the dad that chose to step into the role when he didn't have to, when he had the choice to choose not to & face no repercussions for it.

#ultraman #ultraman geed #ultraman zero #ultraman belial #meta #i wrote this instead of finishing my assignment #leito igaguri

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erabundus · 1 year

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❝ as your NEW GOD, my first decree will be to implement free margarita mondays — you may line up now to lavish praise upon your almighty deity, or book an appointment with my personal secretary as soon as he's finished reducing these FATUI to a smoldering paste. ❞

#𝟎𝟎𝟓 : 𝘢𝘯𝘺 𝘸𝘢𝘺 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘪𝘯𝘥 𝘣𝘭𝘰𝘸𝘴. ◟ status .◝#𝟎𝟎𝟗 : 𝘴𝘵𝘰𝘱 𝘵𝘳𝘺𝘪𝘯𝘨 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘧𝘢𝘯𝘥𝘢𝘯𝘨𝘰 𝘩𝘢𝘱𝘱𝘦𝘯. ◟ crack .◝#𝟎𝟏𝟔 : 𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦 𝘢 𝘵𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦 𝘰𝘧 𝘴𝘰𝘷𝘦𝘳𝘦𝘪𝘨𝘯𝘵𝘺. ◟ v. corruption .◝#( xiao: breaking a pyroslinger's arms. spreading word of the new god. becoming the fatui's sleep paralysis demon. )#( belial sprawled across a throne watching through dendro gnosis omniscience: margaritaville babyyyyy!! )#( don't take this seriously i'm yelling @ the drabble jess wrote GO READ IT NOW GO GO GO IT'S SO GOOD )

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noxtivagus · 1 year

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ain soph aur making me feel things i shld be asleep rn 😭😭

#🌙.rambles #[ gbf. ]#rather comforting that i'm once again. idk returning to this part of me?#like.. not embarrassed by it or wholly compelled to hide it #or maybe it's bcs it's 6 am rn n i'm very stressed bcs i have a bunch of assignments to do bcs the christmas break is soon and #i was finished w one assignment earlier but i accidentally lost what i wrote oh well i'll just rewrite it later #n then i'm just rambling n dumping here but . fiction #immersing in stories once more have made me. yk. live as i always have. full of love for whatever means a lot to me #particularly rn it's gbf #T_T #belial lucilius lucifer sandalphon vira nier anthuria #wait #my queue is so unfair rn ik i added these songs but. morning light hymnus then ain soph aur then another sky.. 💀#I LOVE THE. YEARNING #THE LONGING???? IT'S SO PAINFUL N BITTERSWEET N I'VE ALWAYS LOVED IT #iirc two years ago when i listened to another sky n searched up the lyrics. vira rlly became one of my favs #when it comes to charas i like i realize tho that color scheme genuinely influences me so vira's not the type that i'd often talk about #but she's a very special character to me.#idk but.. characters like belial vira nier anthuria there's something i really like about them #i'd joke that it's bcs i'm a scorpio haha #WAIT I'M GETTING OFF-TOPIC #ain soph aur lyrics always hurts!! i love those two so much #what makes the sky blue.. ARGHHH PAIN.#honestly i cld never pick between lucifer/sandalphon or lucilius/belial. they're both so bittersweet in a way that appeals to me #yk i was reading some old stuff i wrote like. more than a year ago now n how tf did i write stuff so. damn.#the lyrics of nier's song r also so pretty. she's a bit of a dark character n she's. v sad #huh. thinking too of emet-selch ffxiv & haruka milgram n. all these characters r so similar in a way #i wonder if i like them bcs i relate to them. to have love returned. or i want to love them. to give as i am wont to do. perhaps both #yearning is so bittersweet but perhaps i'll just lose myself in fiction again. i have assignments to do anyways lmfao i #i won't let myself sleep until i've finished them all. oh but dw i'll just take care of myself after ig

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astarriscus · 2 years

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words starting w 's' that give a similar vibe to words like. sin. sacrosanct. scion. sacrilegious. sardonic. sable. sacring. salacious. hm

#✩⤻; rambles !#you see. i like poetic stuff and i would extremely wish to wrote more of these kind of things esp bcs one of my fave fanfic writers #is so goddamn poetic and aesthetic and beautiful with their works !! and i am in disbelief they fllowed me back (still too shy to talk tho)#so uhm ... i am inspired to do more stuff like thisiwhdjwnd #this is probably for sandalphon or belial. or one of the lucifaces #or xiv ... but if xiv id rather make it for my oc >.> hehe i rlly want to do that stuff thi #tho* !!#at heart i am a poet i think fuehrushfoshof #but yeah these words ... stuff lile this >.> hmmm #theyre great !! tbh i think i might do this for sandy but idk how ill fit into it the whole sin and sardonic stuff #so i think i'll do this for belial #not that i like them both or anything <333 HELPEOWJDISB #tag later

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krystxellyn · 4 months

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I’m gonna have to redo the summaries for the entire first half of my notes on Hyam Maccoby’s The Sacred Executioner because I wasn’t even taking notes when I started so the summaries were just off memory 😩 my notes look weeeeirdd lol like ch 1 summary is 3 sentences lmfaooo and ch 9 summary is 9 sentences and I only read like 4 out of 14 pages of the chapter

#it is dumbly obvious that the notes are unbalanced #King Belial told me when I started the book that he didn’t think I was ready for it and he was right bc my brain was like #still not comprehending books like it should have or did when I was younger #so I just wrote the info I retained which wasn’t a lotttt

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zhongrin · 2 months

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a highly important proposal

✼ characters ┈ al haitham

✼ tags ┈ unspecified pronoun & gender of reader, fluff, crack, more of a brainrot headcanon dump than a scenario

✼ a/n ┈ i just... i love him a lot your honor

ᴏᴜʀ ꜰᴜʟʟ ᴍᴇɴᴜ (ᴍᴀꜱᴛᴇʀʟɪꜱᴛ) ✼ ᴍᴇᴍʙᴇʀꜱʜɪᴘ (ᴛᴀɢʟɪꜱᴛ)

thinking about al haitham & confession...

considering his personality and the whole "a parade of providence" event long ago (with him doing such in-depth research of sachin unprompted), personally i think it would be hilarious if he wrote a whole-ass thesis about the pro and cons of you and him being in a relationship together, along with several insights and visions of how of your romantic dynamics and your life plans together could be.

oh it's a proposal, alright.

quite literally.

he also provides you a questionnaire at the very end, which allows you to agree/disagree with him and if you would get into a serious relationship with him from a scale of 1-10. in the scenario that you agreed to his proposal, there would be a whole other folder with forms containing the ranked list of proposed schedule for date nights, suggestions for date spots/ideas, chores that you like/dislike.... all for you to fill in.

hey, the man needs some basic information before he embarks on the hands-on voyage for forming a more intimate relationship with you, okay? naturally, he already did his own research and hypotheses beforehand, but it's always best to hear straight from the source and be prepared for important decisions such as this one; it just shows how much important you are to him.

kindly return the questionnaires to him along with your replies, thank you. oh, and of course, if you wish to have the evaluation verbally, he's up for that too. how does tomorrow 7pm at puspa café sound?

bonus:

he would 100% study your replies like he's reading the most interesting limited-edition book of his favorite author. which, in essence, is somewhat true. if you're into writing of any kind, he would be the boyfriend who read every single one of your works. hell, he'd absolutely love to read your journals if you let him... partly because he wishes to support you doing the things you like, but mostly just because seeing you write down mundane things or witness your thought process step-by-step is just incredibly fascinating to him.

imagine kaveh passing by and promptly double take because he's seen al haitham drafting that thesis for the past month and he's convinced that no sane person would accept such a method of confession, but?? someone actually read the whole thing and filled in all the questionnaires???? that's just. mind baffling. mind boggling. is there another al haitham in teyvat? dear gods. no. please. just one is enough.

#genshin impact #genshin x reader #genshin impact x reader #al haitham x reader #al haitham #rin releases a plot bunny into the wild

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cassandraclare · 4 months

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I still have some questions about Belial:

1) How did Belial make Tessa with his curse?

2) Was Belial's debt to Jem originally planned as something other than passing on a message?

3) Why would Belial give powers to James and esp Lucie when they could use them against him (and in the latter's case, he didn't care about her)? I just still can't understand why they would be taken away with his death or why he'd intentionally bother with that.

Thank you in advance!

Okay! I would say strap in for some boring technical the-nature-of-fantasy-writing stuff.

How did Belial make Tessa with his curse?

We already know Belial can, in fact, walk on the earth if he possesses someone. In the case of possessing an ordinary human, the body falls apart quickly. If he possesses a demon it lasts longer, and he could wander about for a while as a demon if he liked, he's just not interested. He's obsessed with the idea of being on the earth in a human body: i.e. James. Anyway, he possessed the Eidolon demon that took the form of Richard Gray, Tessa's father.

2) Was Belial's debt to Jem originally planned as something other than passing on a message?

It took me a while to try to understand this question, and I'm still not totally sure I do. I thought it was a question about what the favor was, but I think it's "Did you ever plan for Belial to owe Jem for some other reason?" To which the answer is no. It was always planned to hinge on the deal that is made re: the Herondales. While Jem frames it as "passing on a message" that is in fact, not what the favor was.

3) Why would Belial give powers to James and esp Lucie when they could use them against him (and in the latter's case, he didn't care about her)? I just still can't understand why they would be taken away with his death or why he'd intentionally bother with that.

These seem like two different questions, so for the first one: Belial didn't give powers to James and Lucie in the way you seem to be framing it. He gave a specific power to Grace, which is why Grace, you know, remembers that happening. James and Lucie just have powers because they are related to Belial. Same reason Tessa has her power. Belial had no idea what the specifics of all his mortal descendants would be—how could he? Shadowhunter/demon hybrids had never existed before. He may have thought they might have powers of some sort, but he did not handcraft them and send them to James and Lucie for Demon Christmas. :-)

As for why, I guess, Belial didn't kill them in the womb or something (assuming he could have done that) — this seems to be the question, "Why would Belial ever make a mistake or take a risk?" And the answer is, "Why wouldn't that happen?" Being a demon doesn't insulate Belial from having flaws or being in error (some might say that's the essential nature of demons.) It's a bit like asking why Satan made war on God in Paradise Lost when he was certain to lose because you know, God. Milton kind of wrote his entire epic poem to answer that question. And (Cliff Notes): the answer was pride. Pride blinded Lucifer, and if Lucifer can be blinded by pride, then Belial can also be blinded by his own flaws, specifically hubris and a misunderstanding of the nature of human beings. While Belial knew James and Lucie had powers, he never thought those powers posed a significant risk to him and he wrongly assumed he would always be more powerful than they were and easily able to turn their powers to his advantage. Jem explains Belial's error fairly plainly:

"There was also the great weakness of demons: they did not understand either love or faith. Belial had underestimated not just Cordelia, Lucie, and James, but also their friends, and what they would all do for each other."

As for why J&L's powers vanished with his death: I think there is a confusion here between two kinds of magic. Rules-based magic, and numinous magic. Rules-based magic being what it sounds like, and numinous magic being magic that has an almost mystical element that cannot be explained like a math problem but is rooted in the resonance of human experience, of myth and fairy tale. Rules-based magic needs to be explained to us in fiction. Numinous magic we understand because we're human and we know. (Jo Walton has a good essay on the two kinds of magic and the ways they work together and apart here.)

Neither is a better kind of magic in fiction than the other and most good fantasy contains both. An example: The Ring in Lord of the Rings. It has a numinous power: it exerts an evil influence, but that evil influence doesn't work in a specific, ordered way, and it works differently in different situations and on different people, often without an obvious reason why. But it makes sense, as long as you keep the essential nature of the Ring in mind. The Ring also has another power. If you put it on, you become invisible. The end. Works the same for everyone. The Ring has both numinous and rules-based powers.

If you are looking for a math-type answer to why James and Lucie's powers vanished with Belial's death, there is not one, as their powers were inherently numinous to begin with, and we already have both rules-based and numinous magic in the Shadowhunter world. In fact, we already have examples of magic coming apart when the magic-creator dies in the Shadowhunter world. When Sebastian dies, the Endarkened die with him. When Johnny Rook dies, his wards fail.

To go back to Lord of the Rings, when Sauron dies, his fortress of Barad-dûr collapses. This is not because it was architecturally unsound. It is because we understand things like Sauron's fortress to be the expression of someone's will in the world, and when they die, their will is broken.

The breaking or undoing of that will is concretized in fiction (just like all metaphor is) — so while James and Lucie couldn't have predicted that their powers would vanish with Belial's death as their situation (being a Prince of Hell’s Shadowhunter grandchildren) is literally unprecedented, it makes sense to them that their powers would go when he went. They don't seek a rules-based explanation since 1) they already live in a world where magic sometimes disappears or collapses when the magic-creator dies and 2) they don't need one. As James says, "Not because [the gun] no longer fires at my command, though that is true—but because it only ever worked for me because of Belial, and Belial is gone."

#the last hours #tsc #shadowhunters

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antihell · 2 years

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An excerpt of Twisted Stitches (Chapter One)

by @antihell

AUDIENCE: NA POV: 3rd person limited STATUS: writing first draft TW: body horror, homophobia mention WORD COUNT: 938 or smth

There is no way in Hell Oliver Kaito is going to make it through this semester.

Oliver is seated at his desk in his dorm room as he bites at his cuticles, tearing each one from jagged hangnail to root, while his mother incessantly yaps at him over the phone. He spaced out a long time ago, but that’s not unique to his mother. After a long time without sleep, it’s a lot easier for Oliver to coast between that shaky period of sleep and wakefulness. That place is where Oliver calls the shadows, but only to himself. Nobody else really knows the extent of his insomnia. Truth be told, he does not remember the last time he slept.

“Attendance is the easiest grade to get, Oliver! There’s no reason for you to miss points because you skipped class. Oliver? Oliver, this is important! Are you listening to me?” His mom drones on, not waiting for any sort of acknowledgement from her son. “Go to class, Oli. I know you’re struggling. Just- Just go to class, okay?” It’s as if she’s calming herself, collecting her chakras or whatever they’re called before Oliver can even complain. Maybe all those spiritual retreats have been beneficial after all.

“Yeah, okay Mom,” Oliver sighs. “I’ll go to class. Just don’t tell dad about me missing, okay?” His desk is littered with bloody tissues from trying to stop the blood leaking from his fingertips, but to no avail. His finger draws a sticky dot of red on his phone screen as he presses to hang up.

As if on cue, his roommate Carson comes in, surely ready to set into motion some scheme he has come up with to get Oliver laid. Oliver isn’t sure why Carson is so obsessed with his sex life, but he won’t stop Carson from having his fun with it. “Alright,” Carson begins, taking a deep breath, and Oliver is ready to nod along to whatever plan he has cooked up. Nodding along is about as much you’ll get out of Oliver as a response these days. “There’s a girl in my philosophy II class you’ll love. She’s really smart with all that metaphysical science shit you’re into.”

Oliver can’t find it within himself to tell Carson that metaphysical science is kind of an oxymoron. He still hasn’t bothered to tell Carson that he’s gay either. Oliver doesn’t want to spoil the fun for Carson.

“Alright, what’s her name?” Oliver says, pretending to be interested, collecting all his bloodied tissues from his desk and tossing them in the trash bin beneath his desk. He rolls his desk chair around to where Carson is, combing still-bleeding fingers through his hair, getting much too long even for his own standards. His mom would throw a fit if she knew he had not gotten it cut since he left home in the little town outside Spokane for the summer semester 300 miles away.

“Kayla Greene,” Carson replies, as if Oliver should already know who she is. Carson’s eyes are dead focused on his laptop as he looks her up on social media and pulls up her page. “Okay, I know she’s white but…” Carson tells him, trailing off. Oliver has not once said, or implied, that he wouldn’t date a girl that’s white. His mom is white, for God’s sake! Still, Oliver looks more Japanese than his genes, and Carson gets so excited that Oliver doesn’t want to interrupt and trip him up.

The dreary pace of the dorm internet is pretty infuriating sometimes. Her page finally loads, and Oliver is alarmed at first to see how much skin is showing. And he hates how that trips him up. Hates it. He hates how he seems to have inherited some signs of bigotry his dad has always displayed. His dad would probably call Kayla Greene a trollop from what little clothing she is wearing.

“She’s cute,” Oliver says, convincingly enough. Carson seems pleased.

“Yeah? Total stunner, right? And brains, too. I know that stuff matters to you, and shit.”

Oliver, again, hasn’t even had enough time to tell Carson that he wants someone smart to date. Carson just gets those vibes from him. Oliver is frankly comfortable knowing that.

“Also a sophomore,” Carson begins reading off her supposedly attractive traits. “20 years old. Does gymnastics. Philosophy major. Eh? Eh?” Carson finally looks at Oliver to gauge his opinion. Oliver laughs to make his smile appear more genuine.

“Yeah, she’s cute,” Oliver repeats, nodding with fake enthusiasm.

“Just cute? Come on, roomie.” Carson insists on calling Oliver his roomie, even giving it as a nickname, on a regular basis. “She’s into all that mindful crap you’re into.”

This time Oliver’s laugh is genuine. “Alright, I’ll give her a chance.” He tilts Carson’s laptop up so he can see the screen better. She looks like a nice girl. Oliver just is not into girls. He considers telling Carson now. It would save a lot of time and effort. But Carson always gets so excited when he’s setting Oliver up on these potential dates, none of which ever follow through for obvious reasons. Maybe he should just put his sexual orientation up on his profile. But the risk of Oliver’s parents finding that out is far too great. So, Oliver will let Carson have his fun.

“You know dating is not all that important to me, right?” Oliver asks him.

Carson laughs, shutting his laptop. “I know.” He doesn’t seem too upset about it.

#if you like this pls reblog the intro linked in the first line of text tysm #wip: twisted stitches #ex: twisted stitches #belial wrote #body horror tw

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xuterboo · 3 days

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One person wrote in the comments about the uniforms of high ranks. I didn’t take this into account, but why not continue to analyze their images? Moreover, it’s not so easy with the regions

Today I want to dismantle Gehenna

Satan has his own special form, which differs from his region. I would even say this is parallel to what his close demons wear. And these are not just comfortable clothes, but, as one of the cards says, the uniform of a General. My opinion - it looks very stylish

Comparing the shape of the Gehenna demons, one can see a certain style and some decorations: Puffed sleeves, white shirts, black vests, jabot, suspenders and beautiful boots. Have you seen them?? They are gorgeous 👀

By the way, Gehena is the only region where the uniform of the nobility is the same. Only Paimon stands out, everyone else wears the same clothes, with small details, like a talisman on Zagan's horn.

Leray and Belial are slightly different. True, I don’t think that small bears and one on the horn will be convenient. But it tastes like Leray

Radically different, apart from Satan, Sitri and Paimon.

Sitri as the right hand of Satan, so it makes sense that it would be different. His shirt is black and his belts are now white. There are cutouts on the sleeves.

Paimon himself is glamorous. I think he spent a week begging Satan to get the king to let him add to his costume. Pink ruffles on the vest and shorts and bows on the belts.

By the way, Paimon is the only one who doesn’t have high boots up to his ass, but heels

#what in hell is bad #whb #whb satan #whb sitri #whb leraye #whb astaroth #whb paimon #whb belial #whb gehenna #my thoughts

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goldenteaset · 6 months

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*Belial and Djeeta are in bed*

Djeeta: It’ll be GW soon…Water element advantage…

Belial: You could not go, you know. Just stay in bed for a week…pretend to be sick, and I’ll take care of you~.

Djeeta: B-But I need more treasure, and everyone’s—

Belial, snuggling her close and pointedly away from the door: Funny thing, I was just talking to Everyone, and you’ll never guess what they said,

#granblue fantasy #belial x djeeta #belidjeeta #belial gbf #djeeta #Ypu can tell it’s been awhile since I wrote them because I got so lost in the sauce #(This is the coherent version

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layla-carstairs · 1 year

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so many things in chot are like, straight up nonsensical. like the whole Esme making up the family tree and James & Lucie losing their powers when Belial "died" etc, none of that made sense and felt like cc was just taking the easy way out instead of dealing of the repercussions of things she wrote and published

#also im so tempted to go through the story stories collection now #knowing how tlh ends #and seeing what changed for no reason/was straight up forgotten about lmao #also back to the actual point of this post;#like did Tessa lose her powers??? exactly #cc never really treated James and Lucie as the childern of a warlock in tlh :/#like they're Just shadowhunters #who just so happen to have a weird grandpa #also the family tree is a cop out #because cc did say at some point there was a 'reason' Lucie was recorded being 5 years younger than she is #and the reason being Emse Hardcastle is a liar??? is biazze #also Eugenia laughing at it was kinda off at the end #since we know it records both Barbara & Kit as still being alive... like that's just straight up weird not funny #chain of thorns #chain of thorns spoilers #chot spoilers #cot spoilers #the last hours #james herondale #lucie herondale

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thefringespod · 3 months

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Finally got smart enough to make my #AudioDramaSunday list ahead of time so I wouldn't forget anything for once! We're gonna start today with the newest Magus Protocol episode which was phenomenal. Cole Weavers wrote this one and I just adore his writing. Also: Augustus is here 👀

Early access for the newest ep of @souloperatorpod was this week and y'all have a TREAT waiting for you tomorrow. Tot continues to astound me with her many talents and we also get to meet a new character who I'm already in love with

@tellnotalespod has brought us back to Julia and Riley who are overworking themselves (especially Riley. Let them sleep.) I love getting to hear from them in these mini eps but they DO make me want to shake Leo even harder Leo please talk to your friends please

@camlannpod episode 2 released this week and my gods it was so much fun. A blend of deep and emotional scenes and comedy (I'm still thinking about "The CW lied to me") I love every character with my whole heart and have been loving all the theories on tumblr about the show

New @innbetween was so sweet I love hearing the Lowlifes become actual friends. Phoebe thinking that everyone wanted her to leave squeezed my heart so hard and everyone insisting she stay because she was the one that they wanted for the quest??? Just so so good

@somewhereohio has once again knocked me flat with this episode. The worldbuilding around Jasmine and what's going on with her memories is incredible! I am an Orange Splice stan 1st and person 2nd. Also the Nadia/Alex scene breaks my heart because I know how they end 😭.

New Technomancy Project was SO GOOD!! And I was FUCKING RIGHT!!! I said this before but I love having all of them play Belial's game this time around and I don't think there's a single EPO agent who didn't make me cry this ep. The Technomancy Project continues to kick ass

Caught up on last weeks @thesiltverses and gods it fucked me up (affectionate) B Narr does such a fantastic job with Faulkner. I love him. I hate him. I want him to get whats coming to him & I want to protect him from it at the same time. B's performance knocks me flat every time

There was another special episode of @wakeofcorrosion this week featuring the Fringes' very own @totcoc0a and @taytayheyhey! I will never forgive them for what they did to my heart <3 Shaun Pellington wrote a killer script and deserves none of the blame even if it did break me

Continuing to make my way through the Storage Papers this week and episodes 13-19 were VERY good. I said "Nope, don't like that" out loud multiple times while listening to 19 which is the exact reaction you want from a horror pod.

This isn't a new episode listen but @wpwcpod has announced their existence and cast and im SO FUCKING EXCITED!! Not only do I love CL Hendry's writing but it will also feature the Fringes' very own Ollie Bannerman and @chainofbeing Cai Gwilym Pritchard I'm so hyped

Also not a new episode listen but Athan (creator of The Grotto) has announced that his album is coming out on March 29! If you've listened to The Grotto then you know Athan writes killer music. And if you dont listen to the Grotto: DO IT GO LISTEN RIGHT NOW ITS SO GOOD

Here on the Fringes we're preparing for the second half of the season! Episode 19 is available RIGHT NOW at patreon.com/PineTreePods and will be available to the public this Wednesday! Also gearing up to finish the last 3 episodes of season 3 which I'm super excited for

And over on @forgedbondspod the first half of the show is written! The cast has been thrown into a discord and has access to scripts now which is super exciting, I can't wait for yall to hear what's going to come from the first 24 eps

And that's all for this week! It's a long audiodrama Sunday post but there's just. So much good stuff going on. Every day I'm so grateful to exist in this audiodrama space and to share my work with yall <3

#audiodrama sunday #audio drama sunday #pines notes #recommendation post

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noxtivagus · 1 year

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hdflkjasdklf i'm just thinking of certain characters n stories hehe

#🌙.rambles #no bcs why out of all gbf characters it is Belial that is on my mind lately.. 💀 he's so sus but there's smth sad abt him to me that i think #uh. makes me. feel drawn. SOMEHOW. charas in general that like i don't like them just bcs they're sad. i just Like them n later realize how #similar i am in a way n huh. maybe part of me. perhaps not really relate but i think i understand ^ him with lucilius. but. nyways #sometimes i find myself having ideas from time to time for. scenarios n stories n maybe not super concrete? even just the idea or the #emotion & sentiment of it. even if it's a mess bcs i just dump phrases n words from time to time.#i really like reading my own words. they remind me a lot of myself n resonate a lot with me.. i wrote them all after all before.#😭 ok i just got a notif bcs i have smth due in 24 hours from now.. (-> i ended up venting again but i have no more space to tag it)#there's a lot i'm stressed abt. anxious even. it's not rlly a big deal in the end n eventually the burden of my regrets will hurt less but #noooo i keep on rambling abt that i guess there's rlly just so much weighing me down in my mind But i will persevere!!!!#imagining stuff or wtvr n indulging in. idk any form of self-expression n being creative brings me so much comfort #when the break comes i'll read books i'll write stuff too i'll watch stuff i'll play video games i'll play/listen to music i'll. yeah. Live #like i want. but like success has always still meant a lot to me i'm too strict on myself w that so w school i constantly just feel trapped #even if assignments r easy n i understand all my lessons in general. i'll pass CETs certainly i'll succeed in the future i know that's who #i'll be but every single mistake just tears me apart and makes me forget who i am as a whole. i've always been 'better' in a way than your #average person i've always mostly generally done well & good but never ever quite the 'best'. so while i do love my intelligence n all as #a whole. ffs i know better but i end up being too harsh when it comes to my shortcomings. so. stuff like stories n games n yeah #those allow me to be free in a way. from my own restraints. from my own cage. so to not. be able to do that too rlly makes me forget myself #while w work n personal stuff like that i'm mostly sure of myself but when it comes to. me w ppl in this world. it's so. unpredictable?#that's just how ppl r. it's. intriguing to me definitely but. confusing. i long to belong but it's hard when most of my life i've felt..#i'm not rlly sure how to phrase it. it's in my head but yeah. so.. i'm rlly just a mess w that. i think i tend to isolate n distance myself #so easily bcs i fall far too much w the thought that. nothing much wld change? recently i'm so confused too bcs i'm aware of reality but #then i'm also just so confused n then a mess in general but i'm returning to like my old self when it comes to stories. embracing that agai #understanding myself a bit more while being distant w others but also lost for the very same reason. ITS SO CONFUSING n complex ofc.#which is. v human ig. but i'm not taking care of myself well so ffs it feels like i'm falling behind but i'm technically productive w work?#stuck between remembering. v well. i'm not too brain empty in the present too. n. i've been v keenly aware of the future #it's all going far too fast n i'm not keeping up Well Enough. the helplessness i think i wrote a while back #bcs i want to stop or i want to do smth or just change n get things done but it's not That easy. n it's been like this for so long now #i'll be fine my mind's just a mess rn n i'm just so frustrated w myself but i'm well enough. a bit empty but i'm fine.#there's a lot more to write n i could have done this in my notes but i'll stop anyways i'll work now. i'll try not to stay up Too late 🥹🫶🏼

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