#being healthy is so fucking boring I'm OVER it
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I'm going to start going door to door, knocking on them and asking if anyone would like a soldier to die for their cause. Rent a van and drive out to different cult communes, demanding they give me a role. Maybe hold a leader at gunpoint, asking if they think I'm pretty. I don't really want a relationship, and I already have my own laissez faire religion and I'm not looking to convert. But I do want something-- someone, perhaps- to devote my time and energy towards. Preferably one where I don't have to make any choices on my own (hence why cultists).
#I do not condone actually doing this obvi#but like i ''need'' a codependent relationship rn or I'm gonna stop functioning#I will change my bone structure for you I will wear contacts I will change my accent I will forge records#being healthy is so fucking boring I'm OVER it#I need a yan that I get attached to /first/ and they go yan in response#pd4pd
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okay i'm struggling again
#she bork#tbd#idk i'll be fine life is just very mean and unfair and worst of all ordinary and dull. i go to work i come home i do nothing worthwhile.#weekends are never long enough and i never get to cram enough into them to enjoy myself. if life was mean but also generous and glamorous i#could maybe put up w it bc for every low there would be a high but it's not. it's just mean and you hit that low and then instead of it#being followed by a high you just end up on a plateau and eventually you hit another low. god i just don't think i was supposed to live in#this ordinary boring tedious life like i'm not made for it. not in a pretentious arrogant way but in a way that's like i'm going fucking#crazy like i have cabin fever but w my life rather than my environment (which tbh maybe they come down to one and the same). idk sometimes i#want to just blow up my life and go somewhere else and do something else and have fun and not feel so weighted down by responsibilities and#bills and worry about money specifically. like i was miserable in high school but now i think i look back on it fondly bc 1. no true#responsibilities or high stakes and/but 2. the stakes always FELT high like i was CONSTANTLY up and down and euphoric and depressed. not#healthy at all but it always felt like something was HAPPENING and now it just doesn't. i have always though that bored was the worst thing#to be and now here i am all the time it feels like. bored.#and again at the root of everything is that life is mean. mean mean mean. sometimes shit just HAPPENS that's bad and fucks you over and#there's nothing you can do about it. and again if there was something guaranteed to make up for it that would be fine but there's not. you#just have to recover and let it go and move on. and i'm not good at that
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i love my therapist but i hate being in therapy. 10 minutes before my appointment, i'm in a meeting with my boss - we discuss my artistic choices; my boss recommends i artistically choose less. 10 minutes after therapy, i wash my hair and think about everything that was said, and then i have to switch it off, like a lamp, and go back to work again.
i was on a walk the other day and someone had the perfect combination of his cologne and whatever-else. it was almost exactly his scent. i fucking hate that. after all these years, i remember that? i tell my therapist - i feel like a fucking wolf. try telling a middle-aged blonde lady. oh i scented him on the air. i'm 30, and i'm having a panic attack over something that would be a plotline in the omegaverse.
what they don't tell you about mental illness is that if you are lucky enough to survive it into adulthood; it becomes a weird slice of your life. because you do, eventually, have to build a life. i realized in a panic somewhere around 22 - oh. i don't know what i'm fucking doing, because i always assumed i'd just go ahead and die. i didn't die, and i'm grateful for that, and i'm very happy about that choice. but it does mean that i am an adult in an apartment, living with my conditions side-by-side like. oh, that's my roommate, adhd. ignore the glass, bytheway, that's ocd.
so you pick your stupid life up by the scruff of the neck and you're, like glad for it (so much laughter and light and friends you would have never thought possible, when you were in the worst of it). but it feels so strange to be dancing around these odd little microcosms, these patchwork moments of your symptoms. if you have a panic attack at night, you still need to wake up and walk the dog in the morning. if your depression is making everything boring, well, you don't have any sick days left, and a job's not really supposed to be that exciting anyway. your ocd tears out each individual leg hair, and then, an hour later, you sigh, patch up the bloody bits, and go get dinner with friends. and the life is kitten-quiet, mewling and pathetic, but it's also like - it's yours, so you're fond of it.
and it's like - you're real. so you still enjoy pushing the shopping cart really fast and then riding on the back of it down an empty aisle. and you're not, like, so sick anymore that when you accidentally drop a mug you burst into tears (except for the days you do that. which are bad). and no, you're not allowed around certain items anymore. oops! but you've learned to be good about brushing your teeth most days of the week. and yeah sometimes in the middle of the day you have a little freak-out about how fucking unfair it all is, how fucking hard, how other people can just do this without having to fucking hurt the whole time. and then you sigh and force yourself to sit down and fucking journal about it so you can tell the nice middle-aged blonde woman yeah i had a hard day but i practiced grounding. you still sometimes want to burst out of your own skin, but you force yourself to eat kind-of healthy and to take your vitamins. you let yourself chop off all your hair in the sink in a dramatic poetry of control and relief - and you also have developed good hobbies that help you move your body more frequently. you feel helplessly behind, lost in the shuffle - but you also practice gratitude, taking stock of what you have garnered. because you're trying. even if you're never gonna be normal, you have something... close enough.
and the little kitten of your life, this mangy, starlit tigercub, this thing you expected to rot so young: in your arms, it turns itself over, belly-up. exposing this new soft part, all the organs and guts. like it's saying i trust you now. you won't give me up.
#does this even MAKE SENSE!!!!!#writeblr#btw what im trying to express in that first sentence is EXPLICITLY the feeling of logging off therapy to immediately go back to work#like :) haha!
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𝐬𝐨 𝐚𝐦𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐧 ─ 𝐦𝐯𝟏
summary: where max verstappen is the subject of a love song from a singer who never writes love songs
pairing: max verstappen x american singer!reader
faceclaim: no one specifically but based off olivia rodrigo
note: me? writing max verstappen? smau fluff? on main? everyone look away.
dailyynupdates
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dailyynupdates yn was seen around monte carlo the past few days, taking pictures with fans and allegedly cozying up with three time world champion max verstappen
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user12 what is going on in the house of commons because this was the last thing i expected
user39 this is quite literally the most random pairing i've ever stumbled across
user91 how do they even know each other 😭
user63 right like...where did this even come from? how did it start? literally how did they meet? they could not be farthest apart in the sphere of famous people
user19 now who the hell is max verstappen and why is he with my wife?
user49 oh girl you have a lot to catch up on the max lore
user71 max is a formula one driver
user56 saying max is a formula 1 driver like he currently isn't dominating the sport to the point where people hates him saying he's making it boring since he keeps winning because he's just that fucking good that literally no other driver can keep up is kinda wild
user10 oh so our girl's new man is good at his job
user52 "good at his job might just be the biggest understatement of the century when it comes to max. man's a fucking beast at his job
user48 i dont have to see her with her ratty ex anymore omfg war is over
user93 dare i say...they're adorable
user82 yn being in an age appropriate, healthy relationship? i never thought the day would come
user74 we won for real 🥹🫶
dailyynupdates
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dailyynupdates max and yn in a video posted by yn's friend 😭
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user93 oh my god look at them 😭
user81 they look so in love i want to cry
user65 "maximillian, do i look pretty like this?" "you always look pretty" i couldn't quite catch what he said at the end but 😭😭😭
user85 dutch here and i believe he said "laiverd" which means darling
user75 this means so much to me
user65 you just made my entire week
user45 seeing her in love after all the shit men is healing a part of me i didnt know was broken
user53 max fixing her hood then kissing her cheek what if you just stabbed me
user31 every time i see these, i get the urge to take a shot of bleach 😀
sincerelyyn ✓
liked by conangrey, maxverstappen1, taylorswift and others
sincerelyyn can't have a conversation if it's not all about you
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yourfriend as the other person of those conversations, he's fine i guess 😒
sincerelyyn you know i love youuuuu
taylorswift love seeing you happy ❤️
sincerelyyn ❤️❤️
user73 mother is all of us
user63 you know it's real when it's taylor swift approved
conangrey i hate happy couples i hope you both trip 🫶
sincerelyyn die 🫶
user92 their friendship is everything to me
user15 not girlie trying to soft launch like we all don't know who it is 😭
user43 THEYRE SO ‼️🥵🥰⚠️
user65 you're so right
user24 i'm so happy finally seeing our girl happy 😭
user84 "someday i'll be everything to somebody else" YES YOU ARE BABYGIRL 😭
maxverstappen1
liked by sincerelyyn, charles_leclerc, landonorris and others
maxverstappen1 my american girl 🩷
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charles_leclerc i still can't believe this is happening
maxverstappen1 for someone who don't even follow me, you sure are early to my posts 😒
user91 max gagged him with that im afraid
landonorris please please max talk to her about getting me tickets 😭
user85 lando is just like us fr struggling to get guts tour tickets
maxverstappen1 no ❤️
landonorris 😔
sincerelyyn @landonorris let me get you in contact with my team 🤍
maxverstappen1 baby noooo
sincerelyyn be nice, max
landonorris HELL YEAH THANKS YN
user42 this is the crossover i never thought i needed
user66 max posting non racing content and being all soft in the comments for yn in what world am i in
user52 fr i feel like im in an alternate universe 😭
sincerelyyn love youuuu
maxverstappen1 love you more
sincelyyn i never knew love could be so golden till i met you <3
maxverstappen1 mijn hele hart is van jou, schat (you own my entire heart, darling)
user42 they mean so very much to me 😭
danielricciardo god the two of you make me nauseous
maxverstappen1 hating because you ain't us
danielricciardo im not liking that attitude, kid 😒
user71 daniel is so us
sincerelyyn
liked by maxverstappen1, taylorswift, yourfriend and others
sincerelyyn so american will be out on all platforms at midnight. a letter to the man i love, the only way i know how ❤️
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maxverstappen1 i adore you with everything in my being ❤️
sincerelyyn ik hou van je (i love you)
i hope you guys liked this as much as i loved writing it 🫶
#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 instagram au#f1 x you#f1#f1 social media au#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen instagram au#max verstappen x you#max verstappen x reader#max verstappen fanfic#max verstappen#max verstappen fluff
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Ooooh girl I am here for Seb/Charles/Reader
Ok so like if you were with Seb first when they were at Ferrari and you both took care of baby Charlie. And everyone is like "aww they're like his mom and dad" but Charles is like "please god I want them to cherish me forever in the most romantic way"
And it shifts when Seb goes to Aston Martin. Like, you're all seeking each other out purposefully to spend time together more and more. And slowly you and Seb are like "...oh. oh no. We love him so much. And he might love us too?" Because you both always had a little crush on him but thought it would go away
And then being together and Seb worships both his loves and Charles is so soft and lowkey obsessed (in a healthy way)
A/N: Through the years
Charles meeting you for the first time driving for Alfa:
"Hi, I'm Y/n," Charles blushes, seeing the pretty older woman before him as Sebastian stands behind you talking to Kimi. "Charles," He mumbles and shakes your hand. "So you're going to be Sebby's new teammate next year hm?" You move sitting down next to him and Charles moves over, as your knees knocked into each other.
"Yeah, seems like it," Charles blushes and notices the way that Kimi and Seb were watching you two. "Well I'm excited, Kimi has been a bore for a while," "Heard that," Kimi snarks but you just giggle and turn back to Charles. "If you ever need anything, you're more than welcome to come to Sebby's and I place in Maranello." Charles sinks into his seat and nods his head loving the attention you're giving him.
Charles First Season:
Charles noticed you and runs up behind you and hugs you tightly. "Y/n!" You giggle and place your hands over his, patting his hands. "Hi my baby," Charles smiles sweetly at the nickname as you turn around in his arms and pull him closer. "Ah, have you eaten?" Sebastian pops up beside Charles ruffling his hair.
"Yeah, had toast and some eggs." You smile glad to hear that he had eaten something as you knew Charles was always nervous since joining Ferrari. "They act like his parents," One of the engineers whispers in passing. You giggle at the comment but Charles shys away, but Sebastian doesn't let him.
His arm was wrapped around Charles waist and you knew the boy wasn't going to move away from Sebastian. Charles couldn't help that this would never leave, he wanted both of you more than he knew.
Charles winning Monza:
Sebastian couldn't even care that he DNFed all he wanted to do was to pull Charles into a huge hug and tell the younger driver how well he did. "Charles!" You scream, dragging Sebastian as you see the champagne soaked Ferrari driver turn around dropping the bottle and trophy.
"I WON!' "You won!" You both shouted, Sebastian let you hug the boy, but he gently pried you two apart and hugged Charles close, hand on his waist and the other on the back of his neck before placing a gentle kiss on his cheek. "I'm so fucking proud of you," He whispers and you get distracted by friends but kept a close eye on the way Charles and Sebastian were wrapped around each other.
Sebastian leaving Ferrari:
"You're really leaving?" Charles sniffled standing at the front door of your and Sebastian's apartment in Monaco. "Charl," Sebastian reached out but Charles just stepped back, slapping his hand down. "Am I not good enough?" Charles barked, you sit up in bed wondering who could possibly be here so late at night.
"Charles, I'm not leaving because of you," Sebastian begs, reaching for the boy again but he refuses to let Sebastian touch him. "I wouldn't blame you, you probably hate me," Charles cried, wiping his tears. "Charles? Baby what's wrong?" You peak around your husbands back and Charles just breaks seeing you. "Don't leave me," Charles sobs and moves collapsing into your arms.
Seb doesn't think twice and moves hugging you both and dropping to the floor. "We're not leaving you baby bot, I promise." Sebastian whispers.
Aston Martin:
You sighed heavily sitting in the Aston Martin garage, wanting nothing more than to walk over to Ferrari and cuddle up to Charles. It was early before the race and you knew the drivers would all be resting. You just wanted nothing more than to have him in your arms. "What are you doing?" Sebastian whispered, looking up from his phone where he lie.
"I can't get comfortable, I just want Charles with us," You pout hating not having him next to you. Sebastian smiles at you, moving his hand through your hair and squeezes your neck. "I know, I'm used to him sleeping on my lap and now he's not here. It's weird," He mumbles and you smile at how adorable the two always looked.
They would tend to fall asleep on each other and then rest their heads in your lap, but now Charles wasn't allowed to see you often as Ferrari and Seb didn't leave on good terms. "Screw this, I'm going to find Charles," Sebastian grumbles, standing up.
"Sebby, our feelings aren't going to change are they?" You whisper the question which has your husband freezing. "No," He sighs and throws his body back into the seat and drops his head. "We need to tell him," You whisper which has Seb nodding his head in agreement.
A knock at the door has you and Sebastian sharing a look wondering who that could be. Standing, your husband answers the door. "Sebby," A flash of red fills both your views as a body collides into Sebastian. Chuckling at the familiar weight in his arms, Seb takes steps back until they're on the couch.
Charles doesn't hesitate and crawls onto Sebastian lap and looks over at you, reaching his hand out for you to join. Moving over Charles wraps his arm around you and sighs, like a weight was lifted off his shoulders. "I don't like you two not being there," He whispers, even if he liked Carlos he wasn't you or Sebastian.
"We're not going anywhere," You whisper, and some how Sebastian understood what you meant.
Dating:
"Charles," You sigh hearing the familiar sound of a camera click as Sebastian zipped up your dress. You both turn and see your giddy boyfriend dressed in a nice suit and holding his phone. "What? You two look very....very good," He mumbles and you see a tint of red on his cheeks and eyes zone out.
"Charlie," You call which has him snapping back and he blinks away whatever he was thinking. "Can we skip? Really can we?" He asks, licking his lips as you add the earrings, Charles coming up behind you and giving you a hug, kissing your shoulder.
"No really? Can we skip, cause I'd rather just stay in bed and maybe," "Charles, this is an important event, and we're going." Sebastian pulls him off, giving him a quick kiss on the lips which has Charles chasing him. "Hmph, please just want to stay in bed with you two." He mumbles but you chuckle and turn around.
"How about, if you're good for us, we'll let you do that thing," You offer, Charles head whips around and face lighting up and he opens his mouth but Sebastian covers it with his hand. "No, I'm serious Charles, behave." Charles swallows and nods his head and you move fixing his tie before patting it down.
"Alright, let's go." You whisper, feeling the tension grow between you three. Maybe going tonight wasn't going to wise.
#formula 1#f1#f1 fandom#formula one#f1 imagine#f1 x reader#f1 scenario#f1 x y/n#f1 fluff#f1 angst#f1 blurb#f1 oneshot#f1 one shot#f1 x you#f1 fic#charles leclerc#sebastian vettel#sebastian vettel x reader#sebastian vettel imagine#sebastian vettel x you#sebastian vettel fanfic#sebastian vettel angst#sebastian vettel fluff#sebastian vettel one shot#sebastian vettel blurb#charles leclerc fic#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc fanfic
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siblings :3
Misc. headcanons below the cut
This is all post black egg and fall of Hallownest, I'm just bad at remembering to draw Hollie's scars.
The stack! Hollie does that when they're bored and want to bother Hornet, like how some dogs will rest their head on you when they want attention.
The ideal outcome to being a pest is chin scratches, riight where their mask ends and their void-body begins. That's the best spot.
Hollie is absolutely purring anytime they get affection, Hornet does too sometimes, but she's a little self conscious about it.
That vessel is a fucking menace. Their favorite activities include making Hornet's day just slightly more irritating. This ranges from moving her things just a few inches to the side of where she left them to demanding attention while she's busy to 'accidentally' knocking her into various bodies of water.
These two have been through a lot together at this point, and given how starved for security and affection the both of them were as children among other things like being born into a death and chaos and given immense responsibility that neither of them had any control over that eventually led to the downfall of everything they knew and loved- they both were quick to open up to each other and seek out comforts that they previously were denied.
That's not to say it didn't take them a damn long time to approach each other and directly ask for things, both of them have their own reasons for being unsure about that sort of thing.
Their recovery was a process but they got there in the end, and now they have each other without the constant fear of not living up to the egregious standards of royal parents or being an impure, vile, worthless stain on the world :3
Their relationship is so sweet honestly they deserve to be happy and healthy and with family that loves them
Even if sometimes Hornet wants to rip Hollie's head off.
#hollow knight#art#digital art#fanart#my art#hollow knight art#the hollow knight#the pure vessel#hk thk#hk hornet#hollow knight hornet#headcanons#roadkill rambles
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One rare lazy day in Vacuo
Yang: *Bored out of her skull, reading a "Teen" magazine*
Weiss: *Enjoying her simple healthy breakfast salad*
Ruby: *Enjoying her not-so-healthy breakfast cereal*
Blake: *Catching up on her "literature"*
Yang: *Perks up on reading a topic* "Just how gay are you and your partner? Take this simple test and find out!"
Weiss: Please no, I just want to finish breakfast.
Yang: *Ignoring her, turning to Blake* Wanna take this test with me, Blakey?
Blake: *Closing her book, raising a skeptical eyebrow* You do know we have no need for such a test, right?
Yang: We don't?
Blake: We don't. And I can prove it. *Puts away her book and stands up* Stand up.
Yang: *Already standing, curious* Okay...
Blake: *Walks over, standing close to Yang, their height difference evident as she looks up at the blonde* Now, on your knees.
Yang: *Wide-eyed in shock* Uhm, wha-what?!
Blake: *Touches Yang's jawline* On. Your. Knees.
Yang: *Knees buckle, thudding on the floor* Okay...
Blake: *Now looking down at the blonde, eyes bright in delight and with a wicked grin* And that, my dear girl, that is how gay you are. Understood?
Yang: *In need of clean underwear* Yes, ma'am.
~~~~~~~~~~
Weiss: *In despair as she holds her hands in her head* I just want one, ONE, simple morning without my breakfast being ruined.
Ruby: *Still shoveling her cereal* Meh, I'm over it.
Weiss: Ugh... I should go join JNPER (Jaune, Nora, Oscar, Emerald, Ren). Surely they're... normal compared to whatever these two are doing all day.
Ruby: Probably best if you didn't.
Weiss: Pray tell, why?
Ruby: Oscar, and by extension Ozpin, is mostly busy with Theodore and other high-ranking huntsfolk for whatever business is most pressing but the rest... *Slightly cringes as she weighs whether or not she should tell*
Weiss: Ruby. Tell. Me!
Ruby: *Sighs, shrugs and spills the proverbial beans* They're probably banging right about now.
Weiss: ...
Ruby: Yeah... after our return from the Ever After there was this whole thing where Ren and Nora wanted- Needed more like- to reconnect and reconcile with Jaune. Emerald was just desperate looking for a place to belong. Anyway, long story short, they're likely banging right now.
Weiss: *Thudding her head on the table* My fucking friend group is a Gods damned mess!
Ruby: I'm still traumatized from walking in on them, but you don't hear me complain. Nora's way more flexible than you'd expect.
Weiss: *Whinging into the table surface* UUUUUGH...
#rwby#rwby shitpost#yang xiao long#weiss schnee#ruby rose#blake belladonna#bumbleby#jaune arc#lie ren#nora valkyrie#emerald sustrai#poly shenanigans
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ALPHA TROLLS RANKED BY HOW WRONG THE FANDOM AT LARGE IS ABOUT THEM:
This is a personal challenge, based entirely on my own experience and perspective, and also ranked from Most to Least Correct. I was bored, and thought this might be fun.
Putting this under a cut, because it's long as hell.
MEULIN LEIJON
People get her mostly correct, from what I’ve seen… Most of the time, fan content of Meulin is absolutely recognizable as Meulin, but her pride in her deafness + joy of learning new ways to interact with the world through/due to her disability is always removed, and I do not often see people tackle the Toxic Positivity aspect of her character. That seems less like character assassination, though, and more like a combination of people not actually playing through the Openbounds, people not being able to fathom disabled people (especially those who gained a disability later in life rather than being born disabled) being happy, and general fandom distaste for the idea of touching anything uncomfortable, especially when that uncomfortable topic is highly mundane, normalized, and potentially applicable to them or their loved ones. Meulin’s toxic positivity was, of course, commentary on Tumblr’s ecosystem at the time, so… It was much harder to touch back then.
ARANEA SERKET
People tend to get her general, broad strokes personality right, but unfortunately she gets treated pretty roughly for the crime of Being A Serket. People refuse to understand her motivations, and she often gets demonized for what she was doing around/during [S] Game Over, even though that was something she’d gotten pushed to and also was cool as fuck to watch. God forbid a woman do anything.
DAMARA MEGIDO
People are right about the racism, 100%. It is completely despicable, hard to look at, and extremely blatant. She does, however, have character outside of that. No, it isn’t “whore”, it’s more like “angry, dysfunctional abuse victim”, and she’s genuinely a very interesting and tragic character. But, again, people are right about the racism, so she gets to be placed way up here.
MEENAH PEIXES
She is such a chaotic little bastard. I love her. I really do. Please understand that she genuinely does not understand the concept of consequences. This girl didn’t have a Lusus, she didn’t have parents, it was functionally illegal to tell her “No, you can’t do that.” That would fuck up literally anyone’s moral compass. That’s not me hand waving away all the fucked up and bad shit she’s done, we all know what she did, but people tend to forget this aspect of her character and it pains me deeply, because it is a very genuinely interesting concept that I want to see more of. She’s capable of regret, we’ve seen her feel it, I just don’t think foresight is her forte. No one raised her to consider consequences, or help her experience them in a healthy way, because nobody raised her period.
Also, her ass is not butch, she is the girliest girl in the entire comic. She is about hot pink and glitter and kiss marks and unicorns and cute little puns and you will respect that. She is not masculine. Her ass is not masculine nor is she butch. Let her be her hyper-feminine self.
LATULA PYROPE
Please for the love of god there is more to her character than “Gamer Girl” and “Mituna’s Girlfriend”. You are falling for her fucking ruse. Please. Please. Please recognize that her entire character is about internalized misogyny, and being forced to overcompensate for misogyny in gaming circles as a gamer who happens to be a woman. Please. I’m begging.
KURLOZ MAKARA
His character is not that deep, it’s mostly just a string of events he is mysteriously, inexplicably involved with. The Makaras are extremely Function Over Form- their characters practically do not exist, they're mostly just plot devices that exist to push the story along. I'm sorry to Makara fans. You just invented a guy in your mind and decided he was real.
He is also not that soft, though, and his relationships with both Meulin AND Mituna are not healthy. Hard to stop people from ascribing cutesy squishy lovey dynamics to random men who happened to have looked at each other once, though. Some people truly haven't graduated from 2012.
HORUSS ZAHHAK
I am begging people to consider that maybe the biggest issue here is not that he is “Bad Otherkin/Therian Representation” and is in fact maybe the fact that Hussie was actually making fun of Systems when he was writing Horuss. Because Horuss is canonically a system. He uses the word system. He uses the word switching. He uses the word host. He literally talks about his Plurality at length in extremely upfront, plain terms. I don’t know how him being “Bad Otherkin Representation” was and still is the main discourse about him. It makes me insane. That is a commentary that truly writes itself. Talk about having your priorities out of wack, honestly...
PORRIM MARYAM
No, she is not a MRA, she’s just a regular feminist who happens to live on a different planet with different politics and social hierarchies from Our Real World Earth’s USA. Whatever argument you’re about to pull out of your ass to say that she sucks is bad. She already explained what she meant by that, in more detail, very clearly, and she was right. Half the time she’s literally just giving you factual information about what Beforus was like, and literal plot synopses. She isn’t saying anything insane. She’s literally normal. I don’t know why people cannot handle or process this. Porrim has not ever said anything controversial. If you disagree with this you’re either misconstruing her on purpose or you fell for Kankri’s bait, and that’s just fucking sad at that point.
Also, she’s more than a sex object, and her tits are not huge. Honestly, half the shit she was saying was just “I am more than my sex life”, and so many people took that and made her main character trait her sex life. Just pathetic.
RUFIOH NITRAM
This man is a fucking war criminal and I will stop at nothing until he is behind bars for his crimes against Damara. Raging misogynist. Total fucking cunt. Just the worst. If I talk any more about this, this part will be 1,000 paragraphs long.
But also, I’m begging people to recognize his relationship with disability, too. He was similar to Meulin in the sense that he didn’t mind his disability, and his biggest gripe with it was the way that Horuss tried to “fix” it… Which is an interesting way to expand upon how Beforus’s culling system is not only very explicitly ableist, but mimicking real world systemic ableism. I also want people to recognize that Hussie is actively having a conversation about the reclamation of slurs with Rufioh’s character, and how not letting people reclaim such language is doing nothing but giving the word power against them while stripping away their own personal agency.
Rufioh’s a complicated guy, and he’s interesting and also the worst, and I am really tired of how he gets watered down to nothing but “Pretty Boy Victim Of His Inexplicably Psycho Ex”.
MITUNA CAPTOR
Holy Fucking Shit, You Guys Are Ableist.
KANKRI VANTAS
To this day I see people saying he was just Hussie making fun of SJWs. To this day. To this day people think Hussie was trying to make Every Tumblr Leftist look bad, and that he hates them Because They Are Leftists. When will people recognize him as a bootlicker to the oppressive class and the violently bigoted. When will people recognize that. When will people recognize that this is more of a commentary on the legitimate real flaws of Tumblr’s politics at the time. When. When.
When will people stop portraying him as a lovey-dovey Catholic Whore. I’m going to stab my fucking eyes out and then kill everyone in this building. Me when it's based and cool to ship an aroace character with a sexual predator. I GUESS.
CRONUS AMPORA
I say this with every ounce of sincerity I can possibly muster as a person: What the literal actual fuck.
#homestuck#homestuck fandom#alpha trolls#beforan trolls#dancestors#damara megido#rufioh nitram#mituna captor#kankri vantas#meulin leijon#porrim maryam#latula pyrope#aranea serket#horuss zahhak#kurloz makara#cronus ampora#meenah peixes#nekro.pdf#nekro.txt
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Lore Olympus Episode 265 Betrays the Series' Own Messages of Consent
I've been keeping it on the down low lately with new episodes of LO, both for the sake of my mental health and because LO itself has just become so... pointless and boring. There's only so much to say when nothing is happening, and in that regard, I will preface this with a "congratulations" towards Rachel, because she's finally found a way to best the "haters" - make the comic so boring that there's nothing worth talking about to begin with.
At first glance I thought this was going to be another one of those episodes. Good job, Rachel, you managed to pad out another episode with pointless fluff to get you closer to that looming end date. Just keep dragging, just keep dragging, just keep dragging-
But the longer I sat on it, and read the comments and posts about it in discussion circles, the more I've realized that this episode in particular has a load of issues that I don't feel good just sitting on and not talking about. Primarily because, over the course of about 90% of this episode's length, we see Lore Olympus - and Rachel - slyly undo everything that ever mattered in its subtext about consent, healthy relationships, and strong communication.
Granted, Lore Olympus has never exactly been the poster child for those things, but it's trying to be, so we're going to dissect it with an equal amount of scrutiny. It wants to be taken seriously, so I'm going to take it seriously and criticize it seriously.
CONTENT WARNING: EPISODE 265 SPOILERS AHEAD, AS WELL AS DISCUSSION OF SEXUAL ASSAULT, MENTAL HEALTH, GROOMING, AND SYMPTOMS OF MANIA, PROCEED WITH CAUTION
Episode 265 opens with an attempt at plot progression, returning to Morpheus who, last we checked, had been targeted by Kronos as the cliffhanger for Episode 259 before being shoved aside entirely for multiple episodes worth of Demophoon, pool-fucking, and a vision from Hera.
Honestly, I won't waste my 30 image limit on the episode's opening sequence because it accomplishes absolutely nothing. And by the time it starts to try and state what that goal is, it transitions away, because Rachel has the attention span of a squirrel on meth and having Morpheus state what her plan is would just be too much dedicated writing for her at this point, she needs another week at least to figure it out.
So instead we get exactly what was promised in the FastPass previews - the entire episode is spent, yet again, on Hades and Persephone, with the exact same topics, conclusions, and terrible sex as the pool scene.
Seriously, this might be a nitpick, but I'm so tired of Persephone not being allowed to swear. We've seen other characters swear. We've even had Kronos call her a "dumb fucking bitch". But this "girlboss" character who we're supposed to believe has "agency" can't be allowed to swear even when they're in an ACTUALLY STRESSFUL SITUATION? You know purity culture isn't exclusive to sex, right, Rachel? If you're gonna deconstruct it, maybe don't have the poster child of that deconstruction be relegated to a church girl? She's literally the Queen of the Underworld - adjacent to the ruler of Hell - let her fucking swear LMAO
Anyways, we see very quickly that Persephone is still feeling the ill effects of her anxiety that she was feeling in the last episode. Anxiety that, by the way, caused her to pass out. Please keep that in mind, don't let it escape.
And what is she stressing over? The genocide? The fact that they still don't have an actual solution to the ongoing "plague"?
Nah. The sleep dive. She's stressing over her husband doing the sleep dive again and - like last time - turning into a dad-possessed monster.
As always, the fear and anxiety is in no way linked to the actual devastation happening outside - it's just concern for the main male lead, because that's all Persephone's character and thoughts and opinions and "agency" can revolve around.
But uh. Remember that scene where Hades got possessed by Kronos and literally strangled her? Remember that scene I just asked you to keep in your brain about her panic attacks getting so bad she's been passing out?
Hello? No? Okay. Next.
I hate, I loathe, I detest this dialogue. Not because it's cliche as fuck - it is - but because the whole "I trust you, it's just xyz I don't trust" shit has been overplayed and debunked as a plausible response in relationship communication for years now.
We talked about this back during our discussion of Leuce - how it shouldn't matter if Persephone doesn't trust Leuce because ultimately Leuce can't do anything to her or Hades' relationship if it's built on as much "trust" as she claims it is, trusting Hades is all that should matter full stop - and it repeats itself here, albeit with Hades' dad instead of his canon first wife. This is a copout. Relationships actually built on trust can definitely still be worried about the issues posed by other people, but if you trust your partner, if you truly trust your partner, that's it. That's where the sentence ends. No shit you don't trust Kronos, we've been over this song and dance multiple times before and while he's definitely a bigger real threat than Leuce, your distrust for Kronos has nothing to do with how you're communicating with your partner who knows there's likely no other way and a solution has to be found. Nothing's being accomplished at this point from Persephone moping around and having sex with her husband, and he's showing 10x more initiative in actually finding a solution - even if it means putting his own safety at risk - than Persephone.
I didn't edit any of that, those are the legit real panels. Literally what the fuck is this dialogue, my tinfoil hat theory about LO being written by ChatGPT is becoming more and more plausible and I hate that, my crackpot theories shouldn't actually become reality.
Is there an owl in here?
LO is just spinning its wheels over the exact same conversation and points that have already been made. Nothing is being accomplished here, it's just more moping and going over the same problems - the centre of which being "what about H x P's relationship?? :(((("
All of that repetitive meandering and moping for "okay fine but if anything feels weird, get out" "okay". It, again, accomplishes nothing that couldn't have been accomplished during the pool scene.
And now we get this line. "I experienced greed in that way, and you do not possess it." Don't be alarmed if you were confused, I was confused too, as were many people in the discussion circles. Thanks to the ULO Discord, I realized she was talking about Apollo. She's literally comparing him to Apollo.
"After all this time, I can't comprehend you causing me harm. I've been at the receiving end of harm so I would know" is literally all she's trying to say. And even with it translated... I don't really like the implications of it at all. This has been a problem since S1, but there's always been this subtext in LO that because Hades didn't rape her, that somehow makes him less abusive or a better partner for Persephone than Apollo, that's all the SA has really been trying to achieve.
But Hades is abusive. He's intentionally pursued women who are in a crisis. He's trapped women in financial dependency. He's sabotaged women from having power and status on the same level as him.
And now, we're about to see actual abuse from Hades - the subtle kind that demands co-dependency, but is still abuse, full stop - but it's being framed as "romantic".
"Being an Originals creator was my big chance to prove myself, and I flopped"- wait sorry I misread. We're talking about Persephone failing at being Queen. Yeah, she definitely flopped. And it goes to show her true intentions in wanting to be Queen, now that she's hit rock bottom and isn't putting on a brave PR face - she wanted to become Queen not to make the Underworld a better place, not to be an example of being a better ruler among a gallery of scumbags, but to "prove" that she could belong and be one of the big guys, that she could be more than just a cereal box mascot.
Don't get me wrong, I can absolutely get wanting to rise above the odds and "prove" to everyone that you can be more than people's perceptions of you, but becoming the literal ruler of a realm that you then go on to destroy due to your own hubris, just to whine and cry about it and have your husband and your colleagues and your friends carry the burden of that destruction on your behalf... therapy would have been a better first step to overcoming those insecurities, not taking control over the lives of innocent people.
Especially when Persephone DID have status and power before becoming Queen, it just wasn't the specific kind of status and power she wanted. She was only a trust fund child with a huge net worth, a full-ride scholarship, and everything she could ever need provided to her with little struggle to get it - but she didn't have control over other people so it just wasn't good enough.
This is the perspective and attitude of a 19 year old who never matured. Who never could mature because she transitioned from her mother's control into Hades'. There were far better ways to prove herself, ways that we had seen her try to do, only to drop so she could pursue her co-dependent relationship with Hades - she gave up her schooling, gave up her apartment (which we only see her use maybe 2-3 times), gave up so many of her connections and support so she could be with Hades.
This is the result of 5 years of real-time grooming that we're seeing play out.
No, you are just saying them because she's your wife. You'd be saying it to Minthe, or Leuce, or Hera, or any other woman in Persephone's position because it's not about taking accountability, it's about keeping these women in a position of submissiveness and co-dependency, by giving them reassurance that nothing they ever do is wrong and that he's the only one that can give them that freedom from consequences.
And then we get the reinforcement.
I'm gonna spare you all the cringe of the actual sex scene (and yes, they do straight up go into having onscreen sex and it's... not hot at all), but here's some of the dialogue spoken by Hades during the entire sequence:
Again, let's remember the actual situation that led up to this and the position Persephone is currently in. For the third time Persephone has "accidentally" killed thousands of people. Over the past few episodes we've seen her try to realize how so many of these problems have been her fault and she clearly doesn't know how to make things right (and Rachel has made it obvious how much she doesn't want you to agree with this kind of self-awareness because much of it is being said through the mouthpiece of a rapist). And now we have Hades, reinforcing the thought patterns that would prevent her from growing and learning and changing. In this, a comic that's supposed to be "feminist", a comic that's trying to preach the importance of consent, a comic that's trying to make us believe this is a healthy, consenting relationship with strong communication skills.
These are literally grooming tactics. Hades is reinforcing the same thought patterns that will prevent Persephone from acknowledging her errors and mistakes. People are dying and Hades is telling her that if anyone has anything to say about it, they deserve to die anyways. The same man who literally rewarded her with sex for vandalizing a nymph's home is now telling her that she's not cruel, but kind:
Hades might not be Apollo, but he literally choked her out less than a week ago while possessed by his dad, and for the last SEVERAL episodes he's had the starry skin making him resemble who? Oh yeah, his dad.
Hades is literally holding Persephone in the same position Kronos did, while she's experiencing a literal meltdown that she's trying to stuff deep down - in fact, exhibiting a LOT of symptoms of mania - and initiating sex.
Doesn't this feel a little familiar?
Oh right, but he asks her if she's "still okay" mid sex only AFTER initiating chokehold sex with her without her consent and love-bombing her, so it's fine, clearly.
I remember being 17 years old and reading Fifty Shades of Grey for the first time, and even then understanding fully how toxic their relationship was. I can only hope the teenagers in Rachel's comment section can realize that as well, but judging by the comment section, I'm not holding out hope. This is literally "fifty shades of fucked up" material, and what's worse is that I can't tell if Rachel genuinely thinks this is healthy, or just doesn't realize how unhealthy it's coming across as. Even beyond how "cringe" this sequence is, it enters into the realm of being deeply uncomfortable and unsettling, and it needs to be talked about, Rachel can't be let off the hook for this especially when this is supposed to be, again, a comic that's intending to "deconstruct purity culture" and teach young girls about consent and boundaries.
And that's it, that's the end of the episode. It reads like the manifesto of a villain in the making at the hands of a predator, like Anakin being manipulated by Palpatine - "so long as you're with me, you'll have all the power, all the glory, and everyone else will be crushed underneath your heel."
Is that really the message we really want to come away from LO from? That it's fine for husbands to initiate sex with their wives through trauma-bonding and reinforcement of toxic thought patterns rooted in grooming because... they're married? That being a "girlboss" means sabotaging and abusing anyone who you perceive as a threat?
Is Hades really that much different from Apollo? Because so far, the line between his actions and Apollo's are seriously starting to blur. The parallels between Persephone and his past partners - Minthe and Hera - have always been clear, but they've never been quite so loud as last night's episode.
This is Hades' play, the play of a groomer and an abuser who depends on making their victims dependent on them - taking advantage of women while they're in a crisis.
For Minthe, it was financial - she had lost her job, blamed it on him, and he found a way to "solve her problem" that strategically put her into a position where she had to continue to financially depend on him for what's assumed to at least be a year or longer, through her apartment, her bills, and her job.
For Hera, it was emotional - she had chosen Zeus over him, and instead of addressing her marital concerns within the marriage, she participated in an affair with Hades in an attempt to have what she could have had if she had chosen Hades instead, a man who resembles her own abuser. Not only did this put her into a much more vulnerable position than him - if the affair was found out, Hera would have suffered the consequences far more than Hades - but it's also manifested itself into Persephone, who Hera has been using as a stand-in for herself, even going so far as to manipulate Persephone's image and how she goes about her decision-making, from intentionally pulling the strings to get Persephone a job with Hades so she could get closer to him as a "test" for Hades, to forcing Persephone to wear a wedding dress she wanted her to wear over the one Persephone had actually picked out herself.
And now there's Persephone, the newest addition to the cycle of abuse and untreated trauma, the true culmination of Hades' years trapping and manipulating women - financially dependent on him, emotionally dependent on him, and only where she is because she's made her entire identity revolve around him.
I'm not going to psychoanalyze Rachel in any way, I don't want anyone to think that this is permission to do so because Rachel's personal life is her own and I want to examine the material rather than the person. But so much of LO gives me such a gross impression that Rachel herself never matured past middle school, that she never grew beyond the mindset of being a 13 year old girl who felt like the entire world was against her and that no one could understand her, that she never gained the perspective most adults do by the time they're 25 at minimum after they've entered the "real world" and had the lived experiences that make you realize "wow, that girl I hated in high school for stealing my crush from me probably wasn't as bad as I thought she was and we were all just teenagers trying to navigate the hellscape that is adolescence."
And instead of actually analyzing those thought patterns and mindsets, Rachel is instead reinforcing it in her own audience of 13 year old girls and teenagers who will only hopefully maybe outgrow it and not just repeat the cycle themselves.
And this isn't entirely on Rachel's shoulders. It's on the shoulders of E.L. James, of Stephanie Meyer, of Colleen Hoover, of every "young adult" romance author who's peddled this strictly heteronormative "submission culture but not like the 1950's kind I swear" crap, that women should only aspire to find the richest man they can bag in their pursuit for power and after that everything in the world is owed to them and any problem they have can be solved by riding dick. Trauma? Solved. Genocide? Solved. The very real consequences of your own actions that affect others to such a degree that it will be felt for decades? Solved. Just ride that dick and get that money, girlboss.
Just like 50 Shades of Grey, if Lore Olympus was any other story, it would be a tragedy. It would be a masterclass in understanding and showcasing the signs of emotional abuse, financial abuse, grooming, trauma-bonding, love-bombing, and enforcing co-dependent habits for the sake of trapping people. It would be a precautionary tale to young girls to stay alert and be wary of older men, that men like Hades are depending on girls to fall for their tricks, their praise, their affirmations that they're so mature for their age, that they're not like other girls, that they would just be so set for life if they spent all their time and attention with them, so that they can "have it all".
I can only hope that even a third of the young girls who read LO naturally grow up, gain perspective, and learn that LO isn't the pillar of healthy relationships and consent that it tries to be. It's certainly a common thing to see these days, for people to join the UnpopularLoreOlympus / #antiloreolympus community with sentiments that they started reading it at age 14 and then (thankfully) learned that what LO was preaching wasn't healthy.
But for every other girl who doesn't realize this, it's reinforcement of the same cycles - the cycle of women being only objects for sex, pitting themselves against one another, confusing gender empowerment with abuse towards others, and making their entire identity revolve around a man and justifying it as healthy so long as it makes them rich and powerful.
Even if Rachel some day gets her own head out of her ass and realizes what damage she's causing in her audience, like Persephone committing genocide, no amount of self-awareness will undo the consequences. She'll still have the awards, the money, the accolades, everything she's gained off the backs of Greek myth, feminism, and good faith from an immature audience who doesn't know any better and isn't being given the tools to understand.
Even if she realizes that, that's something she's going to have to live with for the rest of her career.
And it's a fucking tragedy.
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This fucking guy
My villain origin story is people claiming that Riley's biggest crime in the series was being boring. He wasn't just boring. He was a passive-aggressive chauvinist who the show bent over backward to defend.
A while back on Reddit, I made a list of reasons why Riley sucks. This is that list, and I'm adding to it.
The only reason he punches Parker is because Parker is mouthing off about a girl Riley likes. Everything about this interaction suggests that Riley has heard him say similar before, and hasn't cared until the woman in question was someone he had a vested interest in.
He calls Buffy stupid for not wanting to date him (if this guy slid into your DMs and called you stupid for turning him down, lbr, this would not lead into a healthy, lasting romance)
He immediately puts himself in competition with Buffy. Even at his most inoffensive, he says things like "I don't even know if I could take you."
He has an inherently chauvinistic view of the world (established in The Initiative)
He is upset that Buffy had a significant relationship before she knew him and assumes Buffy boinked Angel in The Yoko Factor
He uses abuser language to excuse his shitty behavior like, "I love you so much I can't think straight."
He decides that Buffy doesn't love him all by himself
When he decides that Buffy doesn't love him, he confides in Xander and doesn't communicate his relationship issues with Buffy
He wants to help Buffy but only in jobs that are "manly." In No Place Like Home, for instance, he nopes out when Buffy suggests he help with the spell to identify what might be wrong with Joyce. Even if there wasn't a lot for him to do, he could, idk, stick around to be moral support for his partner who is trying to figure out what might be attacking her mother. That seems like a pretty standard partner thing to do.
He gets upset that Buffy "doesn't get all worked up over him" the way she did with Angel when "getting all worked up" in CONTEXT means "isn't constantly miserable."
He is sad boi at Buffy in OoMM for also prioritizing her mother's health after she believes Riley is healed rather than sticking around to play nursemaid
He wants Buffy to show emotion over Joyce at a time when Buffy literally cannot (if you've never had a parent in the hospital with a life-threatening illness, maybe you don't know that there are times/places to break down and "in the hospital" where you're supposed to be strong isn't one of them)
He doesn't care that his girlfriend's mother is sick, possibly with something life-threatening; he cares that he got to be the hero of the piece, the shoulder for Buffy to cry on. His only reaction to any of that was to be hurt that Buffy didn't respond the way he thought she should; no concern for her well-being or Joyce's, just Riley getting his feelings hurt because he wasn't the center of Buffy's universe or the rock for her to lean on when all went to pieces
This is further confirmed by the way he just doesn't mention Joyce's absence at all in As You Were. When he leaves Sunnydale, it's after Joyce has had a successful operation. He returns and she's not there and no questions? No condolences? It's because he doesn't care.
He doesn't ask about Buffy's death when she lets him know she died.
He starts separating himself from the Scoobies and then gets mad for not being included
He literally cheats on Buffy with vampire sex workers (there are people who say they were not sex workers, but in a show where monsters are metaphors, you have to be especially dense or willfully obtuse to not realize this is what they are)
Riley intentionally puts himself in a position where he might be killed or turned specifically to SPITE BUFFY, which demonstrates his lack of consideration for what she might have to do later if things go bad
Riley blames Buffy for being roofied by Dracula (again, monsters as metaphor)
He never apologizes or owns that he was unfaithful
He blames his infidelity on Buffy, actually
The first time Buffy learns Riley isn't happy, she's told she should've seen it, which is classic victim blaming and happens from Xander AND Riley (and a good amount of fans who want to excuse that behavior)
He is fine with torturing sentient creatures, and in fact had a stake made specifically so he could torture vampires without killing them
He goes behind Buffy's back all the time
Riley was not boring. If he were boring, he would be inoffensive. Dull to watch but not rage-inducing. But he is rage-inducing because, despite all the passive-aggressive gaslighting bullshit he gets away with, people in this fandom still believe he was "Buffy's best boyfriend." That she was to blame for the deterioration of this relationship. That he was the healthiest of the Buffyverse men. The show does, too. That's why Xander (Wh*don's mouthpiece) gives that sanctimonious little speech to Buffy (the audience in this case) in Into the Woods to scold us for not treating Riley better. Then they double down in As You Were to make Buffy fawn all over herself to let this gaslighting asshole off the hook for everything he put her through.
Riley's sin is not being boring. It's that he was actually awful. Wh*don himself once called Riley a "healthy relationship" for Buffy, and if that doesn't tell you something, there's no talking to you.
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"I wish you would write a fic where Dewdrop is keeping Aether company during a stormy night in the infirmary and maybe helps him welcome a new life on earth"
The second I saw this one I knew I needed to write it. Sorry it took me so long.
2k (I got carried away, I'm SORRY) of Dewther fluff, and slice of life intimacy. No smut, not even a hint of it. Non-graphic scene of a sibling having a very normal and healthy birth (it's pretty glossed over, but it does happen and Dew and Aeth are in the room). Dew being good in a pinch. Dew's immaculate bedside manner (not sarcasm). Aether and Dew being so fucking in love it's sickening. This one is all sweet guys, I don't know what to tell you.
Dew hasn’t left Aether’s side since the tour ended. He stepped off the bus and glued himself to the bigger ghoul. Pressing his face into Aether’s broad chest and inhaling deep. Tucking himself under his arm and letting Aether lead him back into the Abbey. Held close.
That was a couple weeks ago. Dew isn’t quite as physically attached as he was for the first few days–but he’s still always in sight or earshot. Dragging Aether into his bed every night, wrapping himself around him. They shower together, and if they don’t–Dew isn’t far. Sitting in the adjoining bedroom with a book. One eye on the bathroom door–cracked just enough.
Chores haven’t started back up for the band ghouls yet. They’re on a break. So Dew takes the opportunity to follow Aether everywhere. Not that Aether minds. He’s not used to having a little shadow–but it’s kind of nice. Nice to be able to turn and talk to Dew when he wants. Nice to not spend long, endless, nights in the infirmary alone and in silence anymore. The abbey feels full again. And Dew is here, and warm, and always present.
Most nights, Dew sits himself at the nurse station while Aether makes his rounds. He fucks around on his phone, or reads a book, or flirts with whatever sibling drew the short straw and got stuck with the night shift. Aether watches him as he moves from room to room. Their eyes meeting over dimly lit hallways. Lips quirking up as they see each other. Still here. Within touching distance.
Tonight, Dew’s alone at the nurses desk. There’s a blizzard raging outside and Aether’s usual sibling had called in sick. Probably not really sick. Just reluctant to uncurl from a nice warm bed on a very stormy night. Aether doesn’t mind. Night shifts tend to be boring anyway. Emergencies are rare, and most of their beds now are filled with humans suffering from the flu or some resperatory thing that’s been going around. Both viruses unable to make the jump from human to ghoul, so Dew, unlike the human that was supposed to be here, is safe. His bedside manner leaves a little to be desired. But Aether doesn’t really care about that. All he needs is someone to put pills in cups and measure medicine and hand him something when he’s asked.
Dew does all of it without complaint. He’s more squeamish than Aether. Proclaiming, without any sort of filter, that he isn’t going to empty any bedpans, Aeth. That’s fucking gross.
Aether doesn’t have the heart to tell him that there aren’t any bedpans in play right now. It’s quiet now–rounds are done. Dew’s settled in behind the nurses station with a book. Booted feet propped up on the desk, leaning just a little too far back in the chair. Aether watches him–can’t help it. Eyes drawn to the way Dew’s lips move a little as he reads, the way they always do when he’s fully engrossed.
Aether watches the little furrow appear between his brow. He’ll smooth it away with his thumb later, when he finally gets out of here and takes Dew to bed. Pulling that overwarm body against his and pressing his cool fingers to all of the places Dew finds stuck. A clenched jaw, a creased brow, tense shoulders.
Aether stands at the end of the infirmary hallway and watches him turn page after page. He should do something else. His job isn’t to watch Dewdrop. The abbey counts on him, needs him. His work is important. But he hasn’t been able to do this for months. And Dew has been attentive ever since he got home. Always aware, always watching–the way Aether is now. Cataloging all the little things about him that he missed.
Dew turns the page again and looks up, meeting Aether’s eyes. Aether can’t hear his chuckle for the distance and the noise of a thousand medical machines around him but he sees it, and the eyeroll that accompanies it.
“What?” Dew asks, loud enough to be heard but still classifying as a whisper.
“Nothing.”
“Doesn’t look like nothing.”
“Can’t a guy just look?”
He expects another smartass remark, but what he gets is a little more color on Dew’s cheeks, another eye roll. Eyes darting back down into the book to avoid really looking at Aether–to avoid having to admit that he likes it when Aether looks.
Aether turns back to his job–spell not broken just interrupted. He stands in front of the big window that overlooks the wide back yard of the abbey and looks out as he counts pills into paper cups labeled with names and times. The hill that slopes down to the lake. The forest at the far edge. If it was light out he’d be able to see the ridge of Mountain’s favorite greenhouse, and the maze even further off. As it is–all he sees is white. The snow falling in big fluffy flakes–faster than seems possible. Piling high on the grass. Burying the abbey under a blanket of white they won’t be free of until late spring.
Their easy calm is broken when the infirmary door slams open. Two harried looking siblings burst in, one of them heavily pregnant. There’s sweat beading on her forehead–her habit gone, or forgotten. Auburn hair sticking to her skin in damp clumps. The other sibling holds onto her, supports her weight as best they can as they rush into the infirmary and right up to the nurses desk and a stunned Dewdrop.
Dew puts his book down. “Uh–Aeth?”
Aether is already there, coming up behind them to slot against the sister’s other side. Her cheeks are flushed, eyes wild and pain filled. He knows this sister–she’s been coming to him for all of her check-ups throughout her pregnancy, no issues, entirely healthy. And, Aether calculates a week early. Nothing to worry about. He puts his hand on the small of her back.
“How far apart, Isla?”
“Five minutes just like you said,” Isla winces as another contraction hits and she bares down on the nurses station. Dew looks ready to flee. Eyes darting between Aether and the two siblings.
“Good,” Aether says, calm, low. He pulls Isla and her friend away from the nurses desk and leads them into a room just off of it–empty and freshly cleaned. He gives Isla instructions to change into a hospital gown, and leaves her in her friend’s capable hands while he darts back into the main lobby. Dew’s got his book in his hand again–and his coat slung over his arm.
“I’ll be in my room when you’re done–”
“I need your help,” Aether says without argument. Gathering things he needs from the nurses station by the arm full. He’s delivered plenty of babies alone–but it’s ill advised. And Dew is right here–he’s not getting out of this.
“Oh hell no, this is way above my pay grade.”
“There is no pay grade. Put on some gloves and help me,” Aether pauses, fully looks at Dew. There’s fear in his dilated pupils, in the rushed shallow breaths expanding his chest. Aether pins him with his gaze–allows himself this moment. “Please.”
Dew sighs, he grimaces. Uncomfortable but unable to say no to Aether–not when he really does need him. He tosses his book down on the desk. “Promise I’m not going to like, accidentally kill a baby or something?”
“You will not be going anywhere near any babies.” Aether promises, and Dew groans, but snaps on a pair of gloves and follows Aether into the room. Trailing behind him nervously. Isla is on the bed when they get there. Her friend, who introduces themself as Rae, standing up by her head. Their hand carding over Isla’s forehead, brushing sweaty hair away from her temples. Their fingers are laced together.
Aether talks them through everything he does. Every touch, every movement. It’s as for Isla and Rae as it is for Dew who is still radiationg panic despite having pulled himself together enough that the humans in the room don’t notice.
Dew, contrary to his own beliefs about hismelf, is good under pressure. Aether won’t tell him this–not yet anyway–but there is no one else he’d rather have with him. Not even the siblings who have training are as level-headed as he is when he needs to be.
When Aether asks for something, it’s in his hand before the word is all the way out of his mouth. Dew’s warm fingers brushing his.
As most birth’s go–it’s an arduous process. The snow piles up outside. Isla’s contractions get closer and closer together. Hours pass. Dew gets his shit together. He follows Aether’s orders. Not nearly as squeamish as he pretends to be. Keeping a close eye on Isla’s process as Aether flits around for IV’s and blood pressure machines, and a thousand other things.
“I don’t know if I can do this,” Isla says late in the game–minutes before Aether is going to tell her to start pushing. He’s exhausted his back hurts. Rae consoles her, pets her hair and tells her that of course she can. She shakes her head, vehement.
“No. I can’t. I can’t be a mom. What am I doing?”
Aether opens his mouth, not sure what’s going to come out, trying to find the right words despite his exhaustion. Dew places a warm hand on Isla’s knee and cuts him off.
“Sure you can,” Dew says, soft, sure. “You’re doing this. This is fucking brutal. Being a mom can’t be worse than this.”
And though Aether knows that isn’t true–Dew probably does too–it seems to take some of the edge off. Maybe just from the surprise of Dew actually butting in. But Isla looks at him, pain morphing her face, she laughs, bitter and relieved at the same time.
“Yeah. This does suck a lot.”
“See,” Dew squeezes her knee. “Just a few more minutes and this part will be over and then it’s the good part. You’ve got this. No backing out now.”
Aether doesn’t know where those words come from. Dew who hates all children–ghoul and human alike. Who a few hours ago was about to tuck tail and run–to be out of Aether’s sight line for the first time in weeks just because this was about to happen near him. Saying shit like this? Encouragement? Enthusiasm.
Determination settles over Isla’s face, she nods at Dew once. Sharp. And then turns her eyes to Aether. “I’m ready to get to the good part.”
It’s quick after that. And before long Aether is handing Isla a screaming baby. It’s another hour before he can take a small break. The baby cleaned and swaddled, snuggled up with it’s mother. Rae resting fitfully in the chair while Isla stares at her baby. Aether leaves them to it and walks out into the lobby to find the sun rising. Pink hues casting over the floor. Blizzard over. The world outside the windows snow bright and fresh. He finds Dew at the nurses station, book in hand again, nose firmly in it. Brow creased.
Aether kisses him right between where his horns would be and Dew looks up and over at him. Looking exhausted. Eyes fighting to stay open.
“Hey,” he rasps, saving his place in the book and setting it on the desk. Aether brushes an errand strand of hair behind Dew’s ear.
“Go back to your room. I’ll meet you there as soon as I switch with Omega.”
Dew shakes his head. He leans his head against Aether’s bicep. “I’m good. I’ll wait.”
“You’re going to have to detach from me at some point you know?”
“Yeah. But not yet,” Dew shrugs. “You’re not getting rid of me that easily.”
“Leech.”
“Mmhm,” Dew nods. Eyes fluttering as he leans into Aether’s body. They’re quiet for a moment, the quiet only broken by a ragged cough from a room down the hall.
“Thanks for staying–for helping,” Aether says softly. “I know that isn’t your thing but you really–”
“It wasn’t that bad.”
“You going to tell me where all that sappy shit in there came from?” Aether teases, then sobers. “You were incredible, really.”
Dew tips his head and opens his eyes, looking up at Aether with adoration that threatens to knock the breath from his lungs. He shrugs. “I mean. Just kind of thought of it like tour. Get the hard part over with. Get to the good part.”
“This is the good part?” Aether cocks an eyebrow.
“You’re the good part.”
#comet writes#ficlet#dewdrop ghoul#aether ghoul#dewther#dewdrop/aether#aether/dew#aethdew#ghost fic#ghost fanfic#ghost fanfiction#ghost band fic#ghost band fanfic#ghost band fanfiction#fluff
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I'm sorry for this being late! I was sick all week and just had zero motivation, but here's the fanfic from my voting, and they have spoken, they want a Colby fanfic! Genuinely excited for this!
I want an angsty story, so, here I am!
Part 1 | Part 2
Use of Y/N and cussing
Happy reading!
—————
Sure, Colby had hooked up with plenty of girls, but never a long term relationship. And, yeah, he's had a few girls that stayed for maybe two months but he got bored of just sex and them begging to go public after barely two months. How was he supposed to react when he got a woman?
"Girls and women are the same thing, brother. Just another girl after your fame." His friends would tell him, and as much as he knew that his precious woman would never treat him like the girls in the past did, he was still scared. How could he not be? He's never had a real woman. He didn't know how to act. It was just different. Naturally, he started acting like a douche. staying out late with no clear answer on when he'll be back, and most nights be won't even come back until the next morning.
You, obviously, were getting tired of this behaviour.
"Colby, what the fuck? Where were you all last night?" You look at him in frustration, so close to screaming at him. "Calm the fuck down, jesus christ. I was with Sam and a few friends." He replied, not sounding the least bit interested in having this talk again. "Do not tell me to calm down. You could've at least texted! I was worried!" You're voice on the brink of raising. You were fucking pissed. Nearly five months of this shit.
"Does it really matter that much? I'm safe." Colby replys, he groans, his head pounding from the hangover. "That doesn't mean I don't deserve a fucking text. You're treating me like I'm just an annoyance to you at this point." You huff and cross your arms. He snorts. "Not wrong there." He mumbles and your eyes widen, you laugh. "You know what? Fuck you, Colby Brock. I'm done with this shit. We've been dating for nearly five months, and you still treat me like a hookup! We're done. Get out of fucking house, now." You demand. Colby sits up and looks at you. "Over a text, Y/N? Grow up." He chuckles, yet in a condescending manner. What a prick. Did he think he was too good to be broken up with?
"No, Colby, not over a text. Over your lack of commitment. I get it, you've haven't had healthy relationships in the past but you can't just assume the worst." You look at him in anger. "Don't raise your voice at me, Y/N." Colby ordered, you laughed. "Shut the fuck up, Brock. Do not tell me what to do. And get out of my apartment." You yell, he rolls his eyes and stands up, grabbing his phone and walking out of your room to grab his backpack, not realizing the gravity of his actions. "Leave the key." You cross your arms. "What?" His eyes widen.
"You heard me, leave my key." Those words pull him back to reality as he reaches in his pocket for your spare apartment key you gave him. He sets it on your counter and leaves your apartment, his shoulders slump as he heard the door lock and he walks downstairs, taking his phone out and calling his friend, Sam. "What's up?" Sam asks, Colby sighs. "Can you pick me up?" Colby sighs. "Thought you were with Y/N until we leave tomorrow?" Sam questions confused. "Yeah, well, she broke up with me.." He mutters, shame and sadness in his voice. "Oh, shit..why?" Sam's concern evident in his tone. "I don't want to talk about it right now, too hungover. Just please come get me, man.." He rubs his eyes. "Yeah, of course, send your location."
After a long 15 minutes, Sam's car slows down in front of Colby and Colby gets in, Sam looks at him with a raised eyebrow. "I was a dick. I rarely told her when I'd get home, where I was and who I was with. I messed up, man.." Colby voice breaks and he covers his faces, trying not to cry. Sam looks at him in pure shock, he's never seen him nearly cry over a girl, hell Colby barely cries in front of same. "Shit, brother..you must've really liked her.." Colby looks at Sam. "I loved her.." He mumbles, love is not a word he throws around a lot.
They arrive home and Colby immediately goes to his room, he lays in his bed and holds back tears. How could be be such an idiot? He lost an amazing girl. He grabbed his phone and went to check social media, his eyes starting to water as he noticed that you blocked him in everything, besides Instagram. You didn't use it much, so you most likely forgot. He was quick to make a post, he posted a picture of you two, you cuddle into his chest as he smiled and took pictures, he typed a caption explaining how he was a douche and how much he was sorry, asking you to talk to him and ending it with a "I love you, Y/N. That's not a word I say to everyone, you're the first girl that treated me good and I took advantage of that, and I'm sorry. Truly."
He posted it and it got over a a million likes and hundreds of thousands of comments tagging your account and asking him if he's okay.
He just hopes you see it.
—————
The end! Yes, there will be a part two and I'm happy with how this turned out, let me know if you have any suggestions for part two and feel free to send requests as well, tell me something I could do better for future fanfics! Reblogs, comments and likes are appreciated!
Thanks for reading!
-★⋆Dani⋆★-
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𝐓𝐎𝐊𝐘𝐎 𝐑𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐑𝐒 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐍 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐆𝐈𝐕𝐄 𝐓𝐇𝐄𝐌 𝐀 𝐅𝐀𝐊𝐄 𝐂𝐎𝐅𝐅𝐄𝐄 𝐍𝐀𝐌𝐄
𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 ♡ hanma shuji, sano manjiro, ryuguji ken, haitani ran/rindou + haruchiyo sanzu
𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬 ♡ timeskip!characters , fluff , petnames , crack , a little suggestive in hanma's , completely bullshited the coffee names (if they exist already, no they don't ^^)
𝐚𝐮𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞 ♡ I AM BACK!!! I'm so sorry for going MIA - this past year has been incredibly rough for me, COVID, dropping out of school, fighting depression suicide and whatnot- but I'm making my return and coming back to tumblr. now, please enjoy ♡
半間 修二 → ᕼᗩᑎᙏᗩ was honestly just chilling, your legs thrown over his lap, one of his giant hands lightly massaging your skin as the other scrolled through his phone. it was at this moment, you decided to ruin the peace ♡
"shuji, do you think you can get me a cinnamon pumpkin treat?"
"..... a fucking what?-"
"it's a coffee! and it's a new menu item at that one café I like... can you get it for me please?"
".. now? but I just got comfortable-" cue your infamous pouting face with puppy eyes
"fine fine- I'm going..."
it was fine, for about 30 minutes- until you got a phone call. "aww baby... you sent me out for a coffee that doesn't exist to play a game? how about we play my favourite game when I get back, hm?"
佐野 万次郎 → ᙏIKᙓY loved cuddling with you when he wasn't busy being the head of a criminal organization. you were his peace throughout everything happening around him- and you never asked for anything. which is why he gives you everything.
"mikey... I'm sorry, but can I get up? I'm thirsty-"
"no. tell me what you want, I'll have someone get it for you. you need to stay here with me."
"but- .... alright.. could I have a spicy apple with a double shot of vanilla? ... it's a coffee-"
"yes. you stay right there- don't move, alright? I'll be right back with it."
needless to say, it was a while till you got that coffee. what didn't take long though was mikey's voice to echo around the place- yelling at the other bonten exec's to 'find the recipe! y/n is thirsty!!'
龍宮寺 堅 → ᗪᖇᗩKᙓᑎ was in the shop, fixing up a bike while you sat pretty on a stool watching him work. it wasn't all bad, you both were spending quality time with each other (and you got to see him flex those nice pair of arms)
"ken.... do you want to take a break? I can go cook something for you?"
"hah? your not going to eat?"
"ah, no- but I am craving something. it's called a Russian twist, apparently it's a coffee-"
"no. your drinking something healthy, lets go eat lunch with water. too much coffee isn't good for you-"
... safe to say, the plan failed- but hey, now your being healthy :]
灰谷 蘭 → ᖇᗩᑎ was happily walking down the halls of the office, another day done- another happy drive home to meet the love-of-his-life and surround them with so much affection. walking out the doors to his car before he's hearing a familiar ringtone, rushedly pulling out his phone from his pockets to pick up your call.
"angel ♡ I'm just outside my car, on my way home now-"
"ran- I'm so sorry, but before you come home- can you get something for me?"
"of course doll, what is it?"
"it's called a surprise sunrise, it's a new coffee at that one place we go to for dates."
"ah, alright. I'll get it for you, I do need payment when I get home though~"
"yeah yeah... I'll see you when you get back then."
motherf*cker actually returns home with a coffee in hand, smiling brightly as he places it right in your hands. also has the gradient of a sunrise in it, 'so, about my payment-' , 'you charmed the baristas, didn't you?'
灰谷 竜胆 → ᖇIᑎᗪOᙀ was bored. insanely bored. the meeting being held had no context, he sat there with nothing to do. sanzu was popping a new pill in his mouth, his brother was talking his ear off- he just wanted an out, and thankfully- as if the heavens had heard him, your name was lighting up as a notif on his screen.
"rindou, baby ^^ are you doing anything right now?"
"no. everyone here is off the rails, please- get me out-"
"well, I do need something... but will mikey allow it? you leaving?"
"obviously yes, he's fine with it" (it wasn't a lie really, he was just sitting at the head of the oval table eating his dorayaki)
"ah, alright- well, I'm busy right now at home with unloading groceries. I completely forgot to get the new coffee I was telling you about, the hazelnut and almond crème? do you think you can go and get it for me?"
"yeah, I can do that. see you soon then" (an out!! yes!! he can get out of the unnecessary meeting and away from his brother!!)
the poor younger haitani... he spent a good 2 hours driving around Tokyo for your coffee, eventually he turned up at the house with a bouquet instead when you opened the door for him 'sorry baby... I couldn't find it.. think you might be able to accept these instead?'
明司 春千夜 → Sᗩᑎᘔᙀ was ecstatic, a day off from mikey to spend with his baby? the man couldn't be happier, he had the whole day planned out- solely and all prepared for you.
"ah, wait- can we stop at that café up ahead?"
"no no-! I just saw online somewhere that they're serving a new coffee, called the.. golden pineapple... I think? I wanted to try it-"
"why? do your feet hurt? I can carry you-"
"of course baby, anything for you-"
.... neither of you are allowed back into that café again, apparently sanzu holding the barista at gunpoint was a no-no. man was aggressively pouting for the rest of the day cause he couldn't get you that coffee you wanted :((
𝑟𝑒𝑏𝑙𝑜𝑔𝑠 𝑎𝑟𝑒 𝑎𝑝𝑝𝑟𝑒𝑐𝑖𝑎𝑡𝑒𝑑 ♡
#tokrev.films ♡#hanma x reader#mikey x reader#draken x reader#ran x reader#rindou x reader#sanzu x reader#hanma fluff#mikey fluff#draken fluff#ran fluff#rindou fluff#sanzu fluff#hanma x you#mikey x you#draken x you#ran x you#rindou x you#sanzu x you#tokyo revengers#tokyorev x reader#tokyo revengers x reader#tokyo revengers x you#tokrev#tokrev x reader#tokrev x you#tokrev x y/n#tokrev fluff#tokyo revengers fluff#tokrev crack
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Love Bite
"So what you're saying is that Cazador bit you," Gale mused as Astarion nodded with a bored "yes". "He bit you, made you his spawn. But to become a vampire you'd need to bite him."
"Yes." As much as Astarion wanted to pretend he wasn't dragging his heels in getting ready for the song and dance that was dinner with his master, he absolutely was trying to put it off for as long as possible. "I need to drink his blood in order to be free of him."
"Huh." Gale rubbed at the stubble on his cheek. "Interesting."
The long and short of their situation was that they'd had to seek refuge in Cazador's mansion and set up camp there. Despite the tadpoles, it had become apparent that some of the compulsions Astarion had been under were stronger. As much as he'd wanted to rage and defy Cazador, he couldn't. Not at such close proximity. So he'd slipped back into his role of charm and fawning. When neither fight nor flight were an option, fawning and fucking it was.
Seemingly a gracious host, Cazador had invited them to share dinner. He'd had quite the feast put on, food piled high with pitchers of wine and a couple set at the top of the table, a little apart that had something equally rich and red in them but not at all for non-vampire consumption. Most of the seats were already taken by the time Astarion and Gale arrived. Tav sat to the right of the head of the table where Cazador lounged. To the left were two more spaces and Gale, without hesitation or question, settled closer to Cazador, smiling up at Astarion. If he thought putting himself between the two was in any way protective, Gale was adorably ignorant. Still, the gesture was sweet even if Astarion's nose wrinkled in disdain at being pushed down in the social pecking order.
As they sat, everyone dug in. Food was good, better than expected. While Cazador poured himself a half goblet of fresh blood, Astarion didn't touch a thing. The past had taught him well not to take anything, even when temptation dangled right in front of him. That kind of feast wasn't for him and he would do well to remember. It didn't stop Gale. With great simplicity, he plucked up the carafe of blood, took his empty wine goblet and poured a healthy amount in before plopping it down in front of Astarion.
"Dig in," he grinned and put the carafet down within easy reaching distance of Astarion. "Oooh, there's some ribs just within your reach, think you could grab me the plate please?"
As he passed the requested plate over, Astarion's eyes met Cazador's who subtly shook his head in warning. The goblet was taken between slender fingers and delicately swirled as Astarion entertained but not once did any of the blood get anywhere near his lips. Food was passed around the table and Gale kept asking to sample more things. It was almost rude, the way he piled plates around himself, only taking a little of everything but leaving them all within reach should he need it later. Perhaps it was just as well that Cazador and Astarion didn't need more space.
Slowly, Cazador's glass emptied. He eyed the carafe in front of his spawn but Gale seemed oblivious to his silent hints. In the end, he had to say something.
"Master Dekarios-"
"Gale, please. We're all friends here, right?"
"-would you be kind enough to pass the carafe back thi way?"
Hands held up, Gale wiggled greasy fingers as he swallowed his latest morsel.
"It would be remiss of me to try, I've made quite the mess of myself I'm afraid. But please, don't feel rude to reach for it, I won't take offence."
Only centuries of etiquette stopped Cazador from rolling his eyes and sighing at the blatant disrespect. However, if he wanted more blood, he needed to serve himself. Standing, he leaned, arm outstretched to take the pitcher. Before his hand connected with the handle, there was a blur of movement. A howl of pain went up and the table froze. Cazador was pitched forward, arm extended and Gale was near enough hanging off it. The muscles of his jaw was clenched and blood trickled down his chin. As quick as he'd sunk his teeth into Cazador's arm, he was pulling away and turning to Astarion, eyebrow cocked and a grin threatening to spill more blood from between his lips.
"Don't you dare-" Cazador's rage went ignored as Gale and Astarion near enough tackled each other. Dishes were swept to the ground as Astarion's back hit the table, Gale on top and kissing him with fervour. Those with more sensitive hearing could hear the rasp of tongue against beard as blood was licked off his messy face.
"Astarion!" Cazador bellowed. "You stop that! Get to heel, boy!"
A hand wriggled out from below Gale and Astarion didn't bother breaking the kiss as he flipped Cazador off. There were no more compulsions tugging at him, forcing him to obey. He had Gale and that was all that mattered in the moment.
One by one, the rest of the company returned to their meal, somewhat unfazed by the happy couple making out on the table. After all, they weren't the first to get caught up in a moment during dinner. And they certainly weren't going to be the last.
#bloodweave#astarion/gale#astarion x gale#astarion#gale of waterdeep#gale dekarios#bg3 cazador#bg3 astarion#bg3 gale#baldur's gate 3#bg3
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✮From the start✮ Pt.4
Chris and y/n have always been inseparable, they’ve always relied on each other but what happens when one of them falls?
(Warnings: mentions of mental health such as Anxiety and possibly depression. Please take care of yourself, I love you 🤍)
Pt.1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Finale
Y/ns’ POV
(Present)
I feel a wave of anxiety crash down on me as he stares at me from across the dining table. How in the hell am I supposed to do this? I feel the tension rise within seconds as I remain silent, I just wish I could see what he's thinking. The look he has on his face is unreadable and stern. God, I've fucked everything up. I continue to tell myself that until I hear him clear his throat. “Well…are you going to say something?” Right, with my emotions at an all-time high, I completely forgot how much time had passed. “I'm so sorry, Chris,” I whisper before taking in a deep shaky breath. “It was wrong to treat you like that and it's okay if you don't forgive me, I understand. But I couldn't go on until I gave you an apology.” I watch him carefully as he processes my words. Please forgive me, please Chris. He nods his head before leaning back in his chair. “I'm sorry too. But could you just tell me what's wrong? You continue to shut me out and that's not healthy Y/n, you can't just bottle everything up and expect it to be okay.” He sits up straight and leans forward again, propping his elbows on the table as he reaches his hand out to gently hold my hand in his. His touch sends shockwaves throughout my body. “Just talk to me. I'm here.” My chest tightens as I stare down at our hands which are interlocked. I can feel his eyes bore into my head as the air grows thicker. I can’t tell him, he's gonna think I'm being dramatic or I'm just being silly. Oh my god, he's gonna think that something is wrong with me, or that I'm too much for him to handle and he's just going to leave me. “Y/n?” The concern in Chris’ voice when he notices how my breathing has picked up causes me to spiral into a deeper panic. I lift my head to look at him but my vision is blurred by tears. Chris’ face drops when he sees me in such a distressed state. “Y/n, please talk to me.” The slight squeeze he gives my hand pushes me over the edge. I can't do this. I need to leave. Right. Now. I tell myself as I quickly drop his hand and shoot up out of my chair, the speed of my action causes the chair to fall back, but I don't care. The only thing I care about is getting out of that damn house. The sound of Chris calling after me is cancelled out as the sound of my heartbeat in my ears drowns it out.
~~~~
Chris’ POV
I feel as though everything just blew up within a few minutes. I shouldn't have done that, I pushed her too far now. I can't believe I had her back and now im watching her run out of my house because of my idiotic actions. “Y/n!” I shout out to her but she doesn't stop…shit. I quickly stand up to chase after her but get stopped by a tug on my arm, my head snaps to look at whatever has tugged on my arm and im met with my mother. “You have to let her go, Chris. She's not worth it.” Nothing but rage fills my senses as I hear those words leave her mouth. She's not worth it…How dare she say that about Y/n, she doesn't know her like I do. “you have no idea what you’re talking about.” She looks up at me with sympathy. “I've seen enough to know that she's no good. If you go after her now she’s gonna trip up again and drag you down with her, I used to know people like her, and They did nothing but destroy everything in their paths. Do not go.” I stand there in pure disbelief. “So what? Im just supposed to stand here like a fucking imbecile when she's obviously distressed?!” I spit out as I yank my arm away from her, looking down at her with disgust. “Im not doing that again. Im going after her, whether you like it or not.” I give her one last gare before turning around and walking out of the house in search of Y/n.
~~~~
Y/ns’ POV
The sound of crickets chirping in the long grass and wind rustling withered leaves has an eerie but soothing sound. I can't believe I ran out of there but I know that's what I needed to do. I stare at the reflection of the moon across the lake as I think back to when life was simple before reality struck me like a bolt of lightning. I think back to when I was just a little kid sitting on the same ground that I am now, I remember a small Chris running to me to show me a small daisy that he thought I'd like. He has always been like that, the kindest soul I have ever known. But I just had to ruin it, ruin us. Sometimes, I think he would be better off without me, im only just dragging him down. He insists that he wouldn't know where he would be without me but I know… He'd be happier and not have to deal with all the stress and sadness I've caused. It's like I destroy everything I've ever touched, why can't I just be normal? I let out a silent sob as my fingers tangled through the grass below me, If Chris was here he'd tell me that it would be okay, that I'd be okay. But how could he be so sure of that? He’d be horrified if he took even a peek into my brain. I still remember how he looked at me on that night. “I’ve never met a girl like you before, I feel like all my problems go away when I'm with you. I'm so glad I get to call you my best friend.” I shake my head at the memory. How could I be so stupid? He’d never like me, he's gonna end up with a happy bubbly girl and realize how horrible I am. I bring a shaky hand up to wipe away the tears on my cheeks when I hear a voice. “I thought I'd find you here.” I keep my head down as I feel Chris sit beside me.
“Hey…” He whispers as he wraps his arms around my shoulders and pulls me close to him “It’s gonna be okay, you're gonna be okay.” I let out a small chuckle. “I knew you’d say that.” I sniffle, leaning into his touch, it takes me a moment but I finally look up at him. He lets out a sad sigh and brings his hand up to my face, wiping away the tears that continue to roll down my cheeks. “Am I that predictable, huh?” He asks teasingly with a slight tilt to his head. I smile softly as I take my chance to fully take in everything about this moment. The way his hair brushes against my face as he looks down at me. The moonlight casting a pale light around us. I bask in the comfortable silence between us, wishing it could last forever. “I'm so sorry Y/n… I shouldn't have pushed you-” “It's okay, Chris.” I quickly cut him off. “It's just… I'm not good at talking about my feelings. Ever since I was younger I was told I was sensitive and I was overreacting. Everyone made me feel like I was crazy when I would open up, they’d say it was all in my head but would never comfort me or even try to help me. So I thought that if I could hide my feelings we’d be fine, but it didn't work.” My heart drops down to my stomach as I open up for the first time. “I'm just so tired of it all…” I sigh as my head hangs low. “I feel like everyone is moving on with their lives and I'm stuck frozen in time. Look at me right now… one thing goes wrong in my life and I come running back to the lake.” I shake my head as I look back out towards the water. Why does this have to be so difficult? “I try so hard at everything but nobody seems to notice or care, But when somebody actually notices I chase them away 'cause I get scared that I'd be a burden to them, I feel like such a coward.” I whisper the last part as I wait until the moment when Chris finally speaks up. It takes him a minute but he tightens his arms around me as he whispers. “I'm sorry… I know how hard that was for you and I just want you to know that I'm so proud of you. I take back every word I said to you, You are not a coward Y/n, you’re the strongest person I know.” He ends that sentence by placing a kiss on the side of my head. Oh my god, he just kissed me. I'm sure it was just a friendly kiss. “You think so?” I whisper back, hope glimmering in my eyes. “I know so. You’ve gone through so much, Y/n. I’ve never been more proud of somebody else before. Just know…you could never be a burden to me, Y/n. I love you so much and I care for you so deeply, you can come to me always. I could be anywhere, I could be at a concert and I'd still drop everything to come see you” He looks down at me with his infamous boyish grin. I smile back at him as I finally feel my tears dry up. “You love me?” I whisper in disbelief, how is this possible? He loves me back. He nods his head as he replies with a voice so soft that it puts clouds to shame
“More than anything.”
(A/n: Omg I worked my ass off on this one. I hope that you enjoyed it 🤭 the next part is gonna be the last one (don’t take my word on it cause I’m indecisive) anyways, thank you for reading, I LOVE U 👩❤️💋👩💋😽)
Tags: @guccifrog @junnniiieee07
#chris sturniolo#chris sturniolo x reader#matt sturniolo#nick sturniolo#sturniolo triplets#christopher sturniolo#sturniolo x reader#sturniolo fanfic
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Seasonal Reflection: Winter 2024 Anime
My feelings on the first anime season of 2024 can be summed up thusly: Most of my favorite shows from winter 2024 were continuations of shows that were already great from last season, not new entries. That's not necessarily a bad thing, and there were plenty of new anime I at least enjoyed watching. But it became clear about halfway through the season that aside from a couple fall 2023 holdovers, there was barely anything truly exciting going on here. Most of the adaptations I watched didn't do much to truly elevate their source material, and most of the few original series we got ended up the worst of the bunch. I can't say nothing good came out of winter 2024, but if this is any sign of how the rest of the year is gonna go, we may be in for a slog. For now, though, let's take stock of the anime I watched this season, and which ones are worth your time.
Metallic Rouge: 3/10
If you asked me what the worst show I finished this season would be at the start, I never would've guessed Metallic Rouge. I mean, it's a cool-ass original sci-fi anime from Bones with slick 2D mecha animation, surely that's gotta be at least a little cool, right? Sadly, no. Because this is, without question, one of the most baffling scripts I've ever seen in anime. Almost every single detail of its world and plot are barely explained, if at all, and the mechanics of what's even supposed to be going on are so nebulous that every attempt at a plot twist feels like a twist on something that never actually existed. Characters are plopped into the story without even an introduction. At times it feels like whole scenes have been cut out entirely. The only thing I can compare it to is the original Suicide Squad movie from 2016: a story so cut to the bone in the editing room that you can barely tell what's supposed to be happening half the time, and yet enough of the original story remains to suggest it was never any good in the first place. The one thing it gets right is the prickly chemistry between its two leads, and then it fucking keeps them separated for like half the damn runtime! How do you even unforced error that badly?
Bucchigiri: 3.5/10
Man, this was not a good season for original anime. Bucchigiri might not have been as staggering a writing trainwreck as Metallic Rouge, but its sin is arguably even worse; it's boring. It's a wacky, colorful high school delinquent romp with rainbow-haired Jojo's punks beating the snot out of each other with genie powers, it's sort of a re-imagining of Aladdin, it's got freaking Hiroko Utsumi at the helm, and it's boring. Why? Because this show gets absolutely stuck in the quicksand of its own status quo and refuses to budge an inch. Character growth is nonexistent, the protagonist is an aggravating loser wimp who never learns his lesson, and nothing of actual meaning happens from the first episode to the end. Literally everything you think is setting up a character arc where someone learns a lesson or grows as a person, all of it amounts to nothing. It's a limp, inert world that perpetuates the same overdone jokes and contrived, misunderstanding-based drama over and over again until all the outsized Utsumi visual personality feels like a tacky coat thrown on top of a lifeless corpse. What an utter waste.
Urusei Yatsura Season 2 (1st Cours): 5/10
I'm still not quite sure what to make of the Urusei Yatsura remake. is it charmingly dated? Annoyingly dated? A welcome throwback or a sign that some things should stay in the past? If nothing else, it never fails to get at least a couple chuckles out of me every episode. But the more it tries to lean into being actually sincere, the more its inherent cheesiness and lack of depth starts becoming a problem. I'm sorry, this cast of characters is just too abrasive and purposefully insane to take seriously, and none of their relationships are healthy enough to unironically root for. Lum and Ataru are not a couple I want to see actually get together, at least not unless Ataru stops being such a fucking shithead. And if him being a jackass could be charming in season 1, then this season is really starting to test my patience with him. It's one thing to be a serial skirt chaser, but his actions this season regularly cross a line from womanizing to unambiguous sex pest, and there's only so many wooden mallets he can get knocked over the head with before it stops feeling like like he's getting punished as much as he deserves to be.
Undead Unluck (2nd Cours): 5/10
Good news, everyone: Undead Unluck finally gave up on those awful groping gags that were ruining its central romance! Bad news: at the same time, it spontaneously developed one of the worst cases of recap padding I've ever seen! I'm not just talking overlong recap segments at the start of the episode, I'm talking constant flashbacks to events we just saw just moments before, straight up playing the same footage again just minutes apart, all climaxing in a truly unforgivable episode that spends seven goddamn minutes on recycled footage. Not even Tokyo Revengers was this bad with its time-wasting. And to add insult to injury, once it finally gets its feet unstuck and returns to a reasonable amount of recap for the final arc, it's probably the best arc of the entire show! It's some of the most bonkers high-concept emotional storytelling I've ever seen attempted, let alone pulled off so spectacularly. It's proof that there is so much brilliance to Undead Unluck, if it could just get out of its own way. But as long as it continues suffering from such massive systemic flaws, it's only ever going to be an also-ran.
Solo Leveling: 5.5/10
Okay, look; is this show dumb as a bag of rocks? Absolutely. Is it as nakedly an adolescent power fantasy as any anime has ever been? Ditto. Does it solely exist for dweeby incels to feel like swaggering douchebag chads getting revenge on all the normies who looked down on them by becoming The Bestest Strongest Chadliest Awesomest Of All Time? You know it. But god dammit, it's actually fun. I cannot pretend I'm too mature and sophisticated to enjoy a big, helping heaping of dumb edgy schlock when it's actually done well. I'm the one person on the face of the earth who still caries water for Akame ga Kill, for crying out loud. And Solo Leveling makes two really smart storytelling choices that keep it (mostly) on the entertaining side of dumb fun: building a genuinely interesting and intricate world that exists well beyond the scope of the protagonist's actions (for now, at least), and making sure that no matter how stupidly overpowered Jinwoo gets, his opponents are always just a little bit even more stupidly overpowered, so he's still pushed to his absolute breaking point and barely scraping together a win by the skin of his teeth every time. There is an art to edge that's too often taken for granted, and this show is proof that being the living embodiment of a twelve-year-old boy's wet dreams is no excuse not to be at least a decent version of that. That said, let's be real, Jinwoo was so much more attractive before his supposed glow-up. Give my boy back his scraggly rat locks, you cowards.
Bang Brave Bang Bravern: 6/10
What happens when a campy, cartoony 70s-style super robot anime crashes headfirst into a much grittier real robot anime? Well, what happens is Bang Brave Bang Bravern, the latest ten-car pileup of mismatched genres from the Cygames masterminds behind "What if horse racing but idols?" Take a desperate war story of survival against impossible odds, airdrop a skyscraper-sized superhero into the mix, and watch him completely shatter the original tone one cheekily ironic powerup and power-of-friendship speech at a time. It's a beautifully bonkers sendup of mecha tropes that has some of the funniest individual moments in this entire anime season, and the absolutely wild twist it pulls with the titular robot's identity in the back half is more than worth the price of admission on its own. Unfortunately, if it wanted to be as perfect a parody-until-it-isn't mecha series as Akiba Maid War was a parody-until-it-isn't mob flick, it probably should've tried being as long as most mecha series tend to be, i.e. more than just twelve measly episodes. There's just not enough time to develop any of the characters or world beyond the most essential parts, resulting in huge chunks of the supporting cast hanging around with nothing to do but take up space. And it leads to this show, which is trying to be so big and over the top, instead feeling so small and half-formed. Also, the secondary romance is gross. Like, really gross.
A Sign of Affection: 6/10
I think this show has helped clarify something for me: I'm really getting tired of how quickly modern romance anime get their main couple together. As much as we rag on the endless will-they-won't-they of ages past, taking so much time to build up the characters and their relationship before they finally make it official can result in some truly one-of-a-kind storytelling when done right. I might agonize over how long Sawako and Kuronoma take to get together in Kimi ni Todoke, but the payoff is so transcendent that none of those complaints matter. Whereas Yuki and Itsuomi getting together so quickly in A Sign of Affection... I mean, they're cute, I guess? His cool demeanor plays off her sincerity very well? But it feels like the show's in such a rush to get to the good stuff- and so determined to make Istuomi the dreamiest, most perfect boyfriend ever- that it skips over so much of the careful character-building that makes all the best anime romances so special. It's a sugary sweet confection, but wipe the frosting away and there's just not that much cake underneath. Honestly, I find the side characters a lot more interesting because they're allowed to have messy internal conflicts with a bit more meat on their bones. But hey, props for putting a deaf heroine at the center of your shoujo romance and taking so much time to explore how that affects the way she interacts with the world. That's a cause well worth celebrating.
Sengoku Youko: 6.5/10
Rejoice, everyone, we finally have an adaptation of a Satoshi Mizukami work that doesn't look like absolute garbage! After the flaming disaster that was Lucifer and the Biscuit Hammer's barely animated hackjob production, Sengoku Youko has arrived to give the cult fave manga artist a chance for his work to actually shine on the silver screen. As someone who only knows him through Planet With, I've always wondered if Mizukami deserved the reputation his manga gets, and with White Fox delivering as tight and intense a production as they gave Re:Zero, I guess it's time to finally find out. And the answer is... mostly? Like, the biggest problems in this sci-fi/feudal fantasy mashup are the characters being a little too eager to state the themes out loud and one pretty crummy death that's about as hamfisted and over-telegraphed as I've seen in a while. But there's a shockingly gripping narrative underlying it all, a story about the scars trauma leaves on people, of characters making bad decisions and facing real consequences for them, of hatred and poisonous ideology forced to reckon with the more complex reality of the world as a whole. And it all climaxes in an absolute barn-burner final episode that knocked my score up a half point all on its own. If future seasons can make good on all the potential this first season has set up, then I may just end up a Mizukami fan myself when all is said and done.
Blue Exorcist Season 3: 6.5/10
I'm of two minds about Blue Exorcist's second return after a six-year gap between seasons. On one hand, it's clear the new staff is just nowhere near as talented as the folks who first brought this series to life at A-1 Pictures. The action is abysmal, the storyboarding is clunky, and the animation feels like it's constantly fighting for its life to maintain a passable standard. And it sucks that a series that once brought such great life to its story is now held back by such a mediocre production. But on the other hand... holy fuck, am I glad Blue Exorcist is back. I once described The Devil is a Part-Timer as the mathematical average of anime as a concept, but if you were to ask me what the best possible version of that mathematical average looks like? It would be Blue Exorcist. This is, hands down, one of the best straightforward shonen action stories in the whole medium, a reminder of why all the most generic and overused tropes were once powerful enough to become generic and overused in the first place. It's proof that even the simplest of "superpowered teens kick demon butt with the power of friendship" concepts can result in a wonderful goddamn series when handled with good old-fashioned storytelling fundamentals. And not even the rough-as-hell production is enough to keep season 3 from delivering on the thrills, tears, laughs, and cheers that make this series so magical. Just, please, give the next season more time in the oven so it doesn't feel like it's wading through molasses to hit those heights. Okay?
Delicious in Dungeon (1st Cours): 7/10
Delicious in Dungeon's biggest problem is that it takes a while to really settle into itself. The opening scene of the protagonist's sister being devoured by a dragon sets the tone for an intense and desperate rescue mission, but the actual series that follows this harrowing opening is as lackadaisical as can be. And it's jarring to be thrust into a gag-filled, character-driven fantasy cooking comedy where the harsh tone of that opening scene and the ticking clock of Falin's digestion completely disappear from the characters' heads in favor of how beast to cook and eat the various fantasy monsters they encounter in the dungeon. Yes, it makes a little more sense once the mechanics of death and resurrection are explained later on, but it's a weird note to start on. Which is a shame, because once Delicious in Dungeon gets a handle on what kind of story it's trying to be, it's really fun! Its sense of deadpan comedy coupled with Trigger's expressive animation makes for some really unexpected gags, and the way it explores its fantasy cuisine is genuinely some of the most creative stuff I've ever seen in the cooking anime genre. Plus, with the dark tone coming back in at the end of the first cours- and landing much more naturally this time- I have high hopes for how this series will marry those two sides of itself moving forward. If the manga fans' reactions are any indication, I think we're in for a damn good time.
Frieren: Beyond Journey's End (2nd Cours): 8/10
So remember in my last post how I said that it was kind of disappointing whenever Frieren turned into an action show because of how disconnected the fights were from the beating heart that makes this show so special? Well, apparently the writers heard me and decided what I meant was I wanted this peaceful, meditative tale about grief, change and the passage of time to turn into the goddamn Hunter Exams for ten episodes straight. It's one of the most shockingly ill-advised storytelling swerves I've seen in an otherwise good show, discarding all this series' strengths in favor of a half-baked tournament arc with tonally jarring grimdark elements and a bland, overstuffed cast of characters who only start becoming interesting in the rare moments they're allowed to stop slinging spells at each other and just, like, talk about life? You know, the stuff that Frieren's actually good at? Not this brainless slice of shonen envy that only avoids being a complete slog thanks to how spectacular the action is across the board? Ugh. Look, Frieren is officially the most beloved anime on the goddamn planet right now, and its best moments are so incredible that I wish I could join that chorus as well. But it's so disappointing to me that a show this singular and special has so often chosen to be the least interesting version of itself.
The Dangers in My Heart Season 2: 8.5/10
It's official: director Hiroaki Akagi is the master of middle school rom-coms. No other creator so perfectly grasps the specific blend of immaturity, awkwardness, cringe, and heart-on-sleeve sincerity that defines the love stories of early adolescence. That was already clear with his work on Teasing Master Takagi-san, but now that he's pulled it off twice, there's no room left for argument. And just like with Takagi-san, the second season of The Dangers in My Heart takes a show that was already shockingly good and catapults it into all-time greatness. This is a coming-of-age triumph, a soaring tribute to embracing your own cringeworthy self, flaws and all, and sharing that self openly with the people who matter most to you. Ichikawa's journey toward maturity, Yamada's journey toward self-love, and the way their romance sparks the best in both of them is the stuff that dreams are made of. I laughed, I cried, I squealed like a little girl, and I felt my heart grow three sizes by the time it was done. This is a new gold standard for anime rom-coms, and if you can stomach a bit of groanworthy fanservice, it more than deserves your attention.
The Apothecary Diaries (2nd Cours): 8.5/10
Most of the time when I cover a two-cours show on these seasonal reflections, I end up in a pretty different place by the end of the second cours than I did at the first. Either it sort of fell apart in the second half, or found its footing and took it to the next level, or it changed in some interesting way that affects how I view the show as a whole. But The Apothecary Diaries has stayed the course from the first episode all the way to the end. Start to finish, it's remained pretty much the same show, with the same ideas and attitude, exploring the same themes in the same ways. And you know what? When you're as good as The Apothecary Diaries ended up being, there's nothing wrong with that. This is a spectacular historical drama that builds such a rich, compelling world for its equally rich, compelling characters to inhabit. It's a powerful exploration of how old society treated the disadvantaged- women, poor people, people with all severities of disability- and how one deeply abnormal girl carves her way through this viper's den with her body and soul intact. It's the kind of mature, thoughtful series we so rarely seen done this well, and with the announcement of a season 2 already confirmed, we may well end up with close to 50 episodes when all is said and done. That, folks, is what a true shoujo/josei renaissance looks like. And I'm so happy such a deserving series is leading the way in reminding us how damn good women's stories can be when they're given a chance to shine this brightly.
DROPPED
Cherry Magic: Dropped at 2 episodes for looking like butt and the central romance feeling pretty lifeless.
High Card Season 2: Dropped at 1 episode because I realized I didn't care anymore.
Ninja Kamui: Dropped at 2 episodes for being dull tryhard edgy bullshit with overdone fight scenes that are impossible to follow.
#anime#the anime binge watcher#tabw#winter 2024 anime#winter 2024 sr#sousou no frieren#frieren: beyond journey's end#the apothecary diaries#kusuriya no hitorigoto#bucchigiri?!#undead unluck#sengoku youko#delicious in dungeon#dungeon meshi#metallic rouge#blue exorcist#ao no exorcist#a sign of affection#yubisaki to renren#the dangers in my heart#boku no kokoro no yabai yatsu#bang brave bang bravern#urusei yatsura#solo leveling#yuuki bakuhatsu bang bravern#frieren
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