#being awake could also be caused by having had 3 weeks off so my sleep schedule is fucked
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not able to sleep
thinking the reddit comment saying chuck looks like an air conditioning repair man is keeping me awake
#like for real#it hasn't left my mind#I haven't known peace since#being awake could also be caused by having had 3 weeks off so my sleep schedule is fucked#and i have the professional expertise to say that chuck doesn't look like an air conditioning repair man but it is haunting me because#he could#i wish the next air conditioning repair man i see looks like chuck#I really should sleep#chuck taylor#v.txt
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nobody else can heal it (but you) [part l]
➜ pairing: miguel o’hara x fem!reader
➜ warnings: spoilers from ATSV, a bit of angst cause i’m human, violence, torture, hanahaki disease but make it nightmares instead. english is not my first language.
➜ words: 4.3k
➜ a/n: I’ve watched this movie 3 times by now because I’m obsessed with Miguel. His character is so interesting and captivating, he’s so grumpy and sad and that just makes me wanna fix him. Ugh, I have a soft spot for anti-heroes. And being voiced by Oscar Isaac is the icing on the cake. This first part sets the tone because I just can’t jump straight to smut, but I promise I’ll compensate next chapter.
chapter l. bad disease
For too long, you've been yearning for Miguel; only to be trapped in an endless nightmare. While awake, you had to live with the fact that he was out of reach – tearing your soul apart. While sleeping, violence and death had his face – tearing your whole being apart. No matter when or where; you were maimed by the same man.
Ao3
l.
It starts with a hiss; then a shadow moving in the corner of your vision.
In the dark, cold envelops your body; chilling to the bone. It’s awfully quiet besides the continuous dripping of water in the distance, the echoes of each drop remind you of a ticking clock; counting the time you’ve left – for what, however, you’re not really sure.
You rub your arms in an attempt to bring a bit of warmth back to your skin, and as always, it’s useless. It seems like a forever winter inside the place you’ve found yourself in for the past 2 weeks.
What once started as a nightmare that made you wake up in the middle of the night, now plagues your mind every time you close your eyes. There’s no escape from it, no matter how hard you try. You’re more than tired, it’s exhausting not getting more than 3 hours of sleep when your job requires attention and disposition.
Even the pills Lyla gave you last time you were at the HQ didn’t work – actually, they made it even worse. Because then, your body was completely knocked out while your mind was terribly awake, reliving the scene over and over again. You threw them down the drain once you woke up. Never again.
And even though you already know what happens by now, it is still dreadful to wait for the nightmare to unfound. Your senses are hyper-aware of every single tiny sound, every movement in the dark.
There’s something poetic in the way you can feel him move even with your eyes closed; the way you could recognize the pattern of his breathing in the distance even when fear creeps into your brain. Your spider-sense tingles as his heavy steps are headed toward you, it screams danger. Goosebumps break out across your body, sending a small, cold shiver through your spine.
Red is the first thing you see. And also the last.
-
“...to Y/N.” Someone is calling you in the distance, but the hazy feeling of the nightmare still lingers within you. It’s hard to focus when your brain still hasn’t turned off properly for weeks, still trapped in whatever curse this is.
“Earth to Y/N, is anyone there?” There’s a snap in front of your eyes, and you suddenly flinch with the unexpected sound. The touch on your shoulder grounds you a bit.
You blink your eyes, rubbing them in an attempt to brush off the dreadful feeling still creeping into the back of your mind. As your eyes adjust to reality, Gwen’s face is filled with concern.
“I’m sorry, guys.” It’s the only thing you manage to say, how could you possibly begin to explain what’s been happening?
“You’ve lost your cue twice now, what’s happening with you today?” The girl presses, still holding onto your shoulder. And for that, you’re grateful.
Not getting enough sleep has been causing you to lose grip on reality – and that scares you the most. Not being able to tell if the sounds are coming from your head or from somewhere else. Or worse, having to avoid him because it’s unbearable the feeling that eats you from the inside out; the sense of fight or flight kicking in every time you hear his voice. Not tolerating being in his company as shadows follow you around like a ghost, tormenting you into remembering.
And it’s just not fair.
“Nothing!” You say, adjusting the bass strap on your shoulder. Hesitating on letting you go, Gwen squeezes your arm before retracting her hand. You try to smile, “I’m good. I…I’m good.”
The smile stretched for too long, awkwardly pulling your face into a grin rather than a genuine beam. The avoidance of looking at the member of the band doesn’t really back you up on your lies. You hear Hobie huff in annoyance, while Gwen’s piercing gaze still hasn’t left your face. You feel slightly guilty about keeping your nightmares a secret, but it’s not like they would understand, would they?
After all, Miguel O’Hara was a difficult subject for you to talk about.
“I know that look, I have seen it in the mirror quite a few times,” The girl admits. And you knew it was true.
When Gwen joined the Spider Society just a few months ago, the melancholy gloom that followed her was palpable. The teary eyes whenever someone asked about her life, the avoidance of returning to her world, always crashing at yours or Hobie’s. Her father was a tough subject on which she never really dwelled, too painful to remember.
However, even if she could relate to the feeling of losing sleep over someone, she wouldn’t understand how it felt to be torn apart by your own brain, to have precious memories distorted in a sick and twisted nightmare that was a culmination of your worst fears. To know it was coming and having no power to stop it. And all the while having the face of the person you cared about the most in the world, in all universes.
No, no one could begin to understand.
You bit your lips, signing in defeat, “I’m just tired, that’s all.”
“That’s rubbish. Is that what the kids are calling it nowadays?” Hobie chimes in, crossing his arms over his chest. He raises his eyebrow, seeing through your facade without breaking a sweat.
“You’re not even glowing like you usually do!” Pavitr shouts from the audience, waving his hand toward you. Sometimes he would come by to watch the band practice, but today you had not even seen him coming, which was a terrible sign because Pavitr always made an entrance when he stopped by.
“I thought you would be grateful for that.” You scoff.
“Hey, you can’t blame me! My eyes are sensitive.”
The typical headache starts to pound in your head like a thousand bells ringing directly in your ear. It’s disorientating the way your senses feel out of place – like a fish out of the water. Not even having superpowers was helping you stay afloat.
You took pride in being a Spider Woman, doing your job as best as you could so that at the end of the day, Miguel would see you. Your talent, your dedication. But lately, you feel yourself falling further down in his list. And it hurts.
“It’s just that–” You sigh, rubbing your eyes again, foolishly trying to make the pain go away. The ache in your head was bad, but the one in your heart could bring you to your knees. “I’m not getting much sleep these last few weeks.”
Gwen snaps her fingers excitedly, “You should try one of those pills they hand over at the–”
“No!” You shout before you can stop yourself; memories flood your troubled mind. The blood, the screams. Talons ripping flesh, pain consuming your body and soul. But the worst of all; his words. Gwen stops in her tracks, caught off guard by your sudden outburst. The guilty eat you away.
“I mean, I–I’ve tried it,” You whisper, the lump forming in your throat makes it hard to say a single word, “but they… didn’t work for me.”
The trembling of your hands caught everyone’s attention. And It’s just too much.
“I’m sorry.” Whispering, you turn around to hide your face. You take the bass strap from your shoulder and place the instrument in its case. “Let’s just wrap this up, I don’t want to waste anyone’s time.”
“Oi, Y/N,” Hobie calls for you, but you’re already grabbing your coat and heading toward the door. “We are here to help you, it’s what a band is about, innit?”
You look over your shoulder at them, heart aching at the thought of leaving them with no explanation – as a frightened animal, cornered with nowhere to run, all bite and no apologies.
“Right,” You agree but vanish in thin air seconds later.
ll.
Time becomes its own entity when you lose track of it. It’s another late hour, probably somewhere between 3 AM, and the coffee you got from your favorite spot in town is hot against your cold fingers. You dangle your feet at the edge of a building, admiring the view of a sleepy neighbor – no matter the time, New York is always full of light.
It’s been a few days since you left the rehearsal in a hurry, the band has been trying to get in touch with you but you’ve been avoiding taking their calls and answering their texts – you’ve been avoiding a lot of things lately.
Like swinging in the middle of the traffic, as an example. Something that came naturally, but now it has become too dangerous. The notion of space and distance have been lost days ago together with the full awareness of your surroundings. You’ve been trying to do your job, but it has become almost impossible to pay attention to your movements when the heaviness of your limbs begs for you to slow down.
There’s also Lyla, who you've lost count of how many times she chimed in while you were working, telling you about a meeting that you had missed out on. Not that it was totally required to be there, but if once you counted the days to be in the same room as Miguel, just so you could see him, now you avoided it like the plague.
You haven’t heard from him ever since you disappeared – only stopping by the HQ when extremely necessary – so you might not be in that much trouble. However, it definitely did some heavy damage to your heart noticing how O’Hara didn’t really need or wanted to see you in the first place. Not even a call, not even a message.
And that was devastating.
For too long, you've been yearning for Miguel; only to be trapped in an endless nightmare. While awake, you had to live with the fact that he was out of reach – tearing your soul apart. While sleeping, violence and death had his face – tearing your whole being apart. No matter when or where; you were maimed by the same man.
Blowing out your coffee, you sigh. The lack of sleep has been taking a toll on you. It started off as simply missing the timing from one building to another, and now you can feel the nasty bruise forming on the side of your hip. Actually, your body now looks like it has been painted black and blue with the number of bruises it’s collecting.
And you still can’t find the answer, nor any clue on how to make them go away. It will kill you eventually, you’re sure of that. It was just a matter of time now. Maybe then you could finally rest.
The bitter taste of the coffee spreads in your tongue and you welcome the caffeine with open arms. You’ve been trying to stay awake for the most part of the day, only hitting the bed when you’re completely and absolutely worn out. It does give you a few more minutes, but as the sun comes down and another moon appears, you can feel yourself slipping away, getting fewer and fewer hours of sleep, and slowly descending to madness as the nightmares start to feel more vivid, clouding your judgment.
Maybe you should ask for help, after all.
As a result of a very slow mind, it takes you more than it should to sense a new presence on the rooftop with you. Startled, the hair on the back of your neck stands up. You quickly throw away the coffee, lamenting not being able to finish it.
You pull your mask down; if it was another one of those villains of the week the guy was fucked because you had run out of patience. “Honestly, I’m in a really bad mood today,” You say to whoever is hiding in the shadows, your senses tingling as the figure slowly walks towards you, “No tricks, please. Let’s do this quickly.”
The movement stops, and you roll your eyes in annoyance. Another guy who thinks that making a scary little entrance will impress you. You’re about to make a joke when the shadow speaks, making your heart stop for a second.
“Y/N.”
The cold creeps in underneath the flesh, freezing your blood and yourself in place. All the hair in your body stands up as your body tenses with trepidation and fear. There it was again, that voice that haunts you night and day.
No, please. I’m awake, aren't I?”
It was hard to tell, as your surrounding started to blur; the sound of the street and surroundings go silent, as the only focus of your mind is the man in front of you and the way his eyes glow scarlet against the dark of the night. Your heart hammers your chest so furiously you’re afraid it might break free.
“Y/N.”
Miguel calls out for you again, his tone nothing more than a whisper. But you have seen this scene before; a hundred times you’ve heard those same words roll out of his tongue as if it disgusted him – as if you didn’t deserve to be mentioned it.
You flinch as he steps forward, memories of talons ripping your skin apart make you fight against the rising panic; the outcome of the nightmare is inevitable, you’ve tried to change it, but the aftermath was always the same; killed by the man you loved the most.
“Stay away from me,” You warned him. It was useless when fate seemed to have your lines already written, with no chance to change the full stop by a coma. “Please, stay away from me.”
Miguel stops, the glowing of his suit hurts your eyes. You can’t see his expression, there’s a dark shadow covering his face, but the red tint gives his demeanor a haunting feeling – another shiver runs down your spine. Your vision starts to blur; the fine line between reality and dreamland crashes together in your mind. Nothing feels real, the foggy state of mind wraps around you, gradually taking over your sanity.
So you flee. Or at least you try.
Before you could jump from the building, Miguel’s strong hand wraps around your wrist, pulling you directly in his direction. Adrenaline pumps through your veins, and quickly you are able to untangle yourself from his grip, kicking him in the process.
“Y/N.” You know it’s his voice, but at the same time, it doesn’t feel like it. It’s disconnected from the man you’ve grown to love. Dread gnawed at your insides as the nightmare turns into another torture section. His mouth is moving but you can’t make up the words; every sound gets lost in the loud rush of blood in your ears.
Not that you need it, anyway. You’ve been living the same dialogue over and over again to know like the back of your hand.
“Don’t hurt me again,” You plea, raw panic in your voice. Your mind is erratic, coming up with ideas on how to escape, but your body doesn’t follow the same line of thinking, “Please, I’m so tired.”
But it’s all in vain; the man bolts in your direction like an animal ready to devour its prey. You find yourself half mad with terror – your throat tightens as anxiety eclipsed your thoughts.
Before Miguel can get to you, you attack.
It never works as the man is way above your abilities, but you try – anything to be freed from having another slow, painful death. Gathering the last of your strength, you shoot a web that miraculously lands on his foot and it sticks to the ground. Quickly, you jump from one wall to another, landing a kick on his chest.
It doesn’t do anything more than startle the man, but it gives you enough time to soar across the night sky, landing on another rooftop. The glowing of your watch catches your attention. Usually, you don’t have it with you, nightmares don’t really give you the option to flee.
But it seems this one does.
“Y/N!” Miguel roars. In the slip second your eyes had darted toward the gadget, the man had torn apart the single web holding him in place. He huffs, shoulders hunched forward as tension grows between you both.
Against your better judgment, you shot him a glance. And like magnets, his eyes find yours in mi the sea of lights that only New York could offer.
You press the bottom, eyes fixed on the man coming towards you like a bolt. His talons cut the air in front of your eyes – almost like a kiss – the petrifying realization makes you fall on your back towards the portal.
Then everything turns black.
lll.
When you open your eyes again, you’re absolutely and awfully exhausted. The weight of your body holds you down against the cold floor, almost as if it didn’t belong to you anymore. You had lost ownership after not taking care of it. Your eyelids are heavy, and for a moment you consider just going back to sleep, finally giving in to the sweet taste of relief.
But then, the warnings in the back of your mind start to go off, and you remember why you can’t. Grunting, you take off your mask and pick yourself up. There was no rest for you, not until you find out what the hell happened. And if it was all in your mind, of if Miguel was there.
Because that definitely didn’t feel like a dream. The phantom feeling of his fingers wrapped around your wrist still lingered, and the intensity of his gaze still made you shrink. A chill runs down your spine in trepidation. If he was really there were the nightmares just a premonition of the future?
No. Miguel would never do that.
Even though he didn’t… like you as you liked him, the man didn’t have a single motive to want you dead. Miguel was many things, but mostly he was righteous. Dedicated to his job in an unhealthy, and obsessive way? Yes. However, he still had kindness hidden underneath his scowl, and even though his heart was mostly painted black by the loss of his old life, it still beat for the new ones the Spider Society protected. Besides, he still had some humor in him; a completely dated and cringe type of humor, but there.
And every time it made an appearance, you would find it adorable. A tiny smile appears on your lips. How could you not treasure every moment with him when it was all so rare?
“Y/N?” Someone calls for you in the distance. You are still picking yourself up from the floor, the sudden movement makes you dizzy, and nauseous. You’re pretty sure you hit your head.
“Oh my god! Are you okay?” Margo comes into view, she quickly puts one of your arms around her neck and helps you get up. “You look terrible.”
“You should see the other guy,” You try joking around. And even though the blue avatar softly huffs, her expression of concern is serious. You must look worse than you thought.
Margo helps you get into a chair, gently holding you until you’re comfortable in your seat. “I’m sorry for barging in, I honestly didn’t know where I was going.”
“Where you running from something?” She jokingly asks. She grabs a tablet, reads something on the screen, and goes back to work.
“Yeah,” You groan, running your hand through your hair, “You could say that.”
The room was as quiet as it always was, the only sound coming from the girl who was softly humming a song. Looking around, you notice there was no one around, only the machines as a company. You wondered if Margo ever feel lonely here; the place was big enough to fit a few dozen Spiders, however, it was always deserted. The truth was that no one actually liked to be around villains after they were captured, and sending them home was a dreadful job. Margo was definitely a viable asset to the team.
You can feel your senses start to relax, the darkroom was a perfect invitation for a well-deserved rest. But with the sleepiness came the loss of concentration, and the last time you let your guard down, you fled from a very real Miguel.
Small talk would be, then. “So… who’s next?”
Margo picks up her tablet, tapping a few things before showing you a picture. “She calls herself 'Torment'. But you’re probably familiar with her. After all, you and Hobie caught her a few weeks ago.”
Wait. A few weeks ago? That's exactly the time when the nightmares started to occur.
Suddenly, a flashback hits you like a bullet. A purple and blue cloud, the touch of a finger. The laugh.
“Margo, I need to talk to her,” You demand, getting up from your chair as if you had been electrified. The pieces fall into place and make a clear picture. How could you have let this fly over your head? Of course, the nightmares weren’t something normal! It had to be a product of something, or someone.
“Y/N, I need to send her ho–”
“It’s urgent,” Holding the girl’s hand in yours, you squeeze them in a silent plea, “Please, Margo. Just give me 5 minutes.”
Margo presses her lips together; you must look desperate because she sighs, defeated. Then nods, “Make it quick.”
“Thank you.”
-
The Send Home Machine had come out of its cocoon, and now sat atop a circular base; waiting for the command to start the process of pulling the strings to weave the portal back home. You always thought the whole mechanism was a bit too much, but if it worked, then who were you to complain?
Margo brings Torment in, and she immediately recognizes you.
“Oh, I knew I would see you again!” The woman’s face lights up like a Christmas tree – that couldn't be a good sign. She claps her hands, bouncing on her feet. “Looking for answers, darling?”
A cold shiver runs down your spine, but it’s not fear that spreads through your veins. It’s anger. “What did you do to me?”
The woman laughs, throwing her head back. You can clearly see she was having too much fun with you. “Now you’re interested in what I’ve to say? You didn’t seem that excited when I first came to you and your little friend.”
Your blood boils. If she wasn’t already locked up and ready to be sent home, you would definitely teach her a lesson or two. Your knuckles go white as the woman stares, the smile on her face is disturbing. How could she find pleasure in tormenting someone like that?
The sound of the engine turning startles you, Margo sends you an apologetic look as the machine descends from its place atop the base. You’re getting out of time.
“What do you want?” You shout, desperate. You can’t imagine going another week, another day haunted like this. “Tell me!”
Torment’s stare is piercing, a shadow crosses her face when the smile fades into a thin line. The silence was agonizing, and with each tread of the web, you felt your sanity slipping away. This was your last chance.
“I’m so fucking tired!” You cry out, hitting the glass so hard it almost cracks. “Do you know how it feels to not get a single hour of sleep because your nightmares are too fucking real? Do you have a single idea of how torturing it is to have him, of all people–” Margo was listening, but you didn’t care. You wanted answers and you would get them. “Why him?”
“Poor little thing. You haven’t figured it out yet?” she hums, furrowing her eyebrows. And you hate the look of pity she has on her face. It was her that did this in the first place! “That must be tough, to keep all of that to yourself.”
No one knew about your feelings for Miguel. Well, you had a slight hunch that maybe Peter B. Parker might have noticed it. But otherwise, you kept all to yourself. Treasuring little moments as precious jewelry.
He was your boss! And besides, he was still too caught up in his late family. He would never open his heart again after the tragedy bestowed upon him. You couldn't blame him; a man forever stuck in the past, reliving each moment when he was happy.
However, sometimes, you would catch him looking. Exchange glances in a crowded room; during meetings. You would spend time with him alone; in a comfortable silence hard to find, or in an easy-going atmosphere that left you smiling like an idiot.
But that was what they were, fleeting moments. And even though sometimes you dreamed about a future where you could give him all the love he deserved, they were just that; silly dreams. There was no space for you in his life. You had accepted that long ago.
“You see, my abilities are a gift,” Torment simply says, still unphased at your suffering. “They search deep in your soul for what you seek the most. The nightmares are just an incentive to make you finally take the big step.”
“What?” A memory comes to the forefront of your mind; a finger touching your forehead, the slight shock that sent you back a few steps. Miguel’s face appears right after the electric feeling dissipates. “What do you mean?”
“You know very well,” There’s some sort of twisted kindness when her smile appears again, it irks you profoundly, “Take care, darling. You can thank me later.”
The machine finishes threading the web, encapsulating the woman inside a honey-colored web. The last thing you see is her waving at you before disappearing into nothing.
Outraged, you punch the glass again, and again. No, no, no. This can’t be happening! That woman must be lying, there’s no way the cure to this torment is–
“Calm down, Y/N!” Margo holds your wrist before you can land another hit. She’s saying something but you can’t hear it. Anxiety takes over your body as you crouch on the floor, hiding your face in your arms.
You will have to tell Miguel.
And that was worse than any other nightmare.
#miguel o'hara#across the spiderverse#spiderman 2099#across the spider verse spoilers#miguel ohara#miguel o'hara x reader#miguel o'hara x you#miguel o'hara fic#sometimes i write
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A few notes:
I originally planned to have this one have a couple of povs like the first, but then u got carried away writing feral Danny so, just Tim today.
I hope to get the next one out sometime this weekend cause it's harder to write when I have work.
Also, everyone thank @cursedzucchini for writing the comment that gave me the executive function to take these words out of my brain and put them in my phone. Reading that there was someone out there checking the tag for updates every day really motivated me.
Now, without further ado
Chapter 1
A King in Arkham
Chapter 2
Tim sighs, rubbing his temples and attempting to will away the sleep deprivation headache currently pounding on the inside of his skull. Pushing 80 hours awake, the last 38 of which have been spent combing backwards through any and all Arkham documents pertaining to one Daniel James Fenton.
He moved his hands away from his head, placing them on the fresh cup of coffee that had materialized while he was massaging, giving a cursory "Thanks" the retreating body. Normally, Alfred would have cut Tim off from caffeine yesterday. But it seems even the old butler was keen on something being found to justify pulling the kid out of Arkham.
Or maybe that was Jason fueling Tim's addiction. Man had been hovering since Batman called him back at the last break out. At least Dick had been able to reason better with the most volatile of the Wayne siblings.
"Picking him up and running won't do either of you any favors, Little Wing. It'll just put him and Hood on wanted posters. If you want him to have any shot at a life out here, you gotta let Bruce take it through the proper channels."
That had at least prevented Jason from snapping on anyone immediately, though he had seen fit to warn everyone that of they didn't have something by the next break out, he'd be doing it his way.
Which is why Tim had spent the last day and a half poring over every medical record, therapy session, schedule, action report, and discipline slip Arkham had on file that even mentioned Patient 26B.
Meanwhile, Oracle had her hands full trying to find any background information on the young ward. A task which itself was proving challenging because the place the kid came from seemed to have no digital presence at all. None. Not a Facebook or Twitter or MySpace pinging from the area. Not an email address or YouTube account. Not a single god damned website. Not even a .gov! Hell, the only reason they knew the city's name is because it was listed in the CPS paperwork from Chicago.
In other places, small towns and communities in the middle of nowhere, this wouldn't really raise any red flags. But Amity Park was not actually a nowhere town. It certainly wasn't a Gotham or Metropolis. But it was big enough to have formed a conurbation with the nearby city of Elmerton. Which had a perfectly normal digital presence. So Amity Park's lack of digital presence screamed Communications Blackout. A frighteningly strong one to still be giving Oracle the run around almost 2 days later.
Once Tim was finished reviewing Arkham reports, then the 3 weeks of documents from Daniel's stay in Chicago, he'd probably offer to help her. Though she might tell him to go the fuck to sleep instead.
For now. Tim was nearing the beginning of the kid's Arkham stay and; on top of not yet finding any clues as to why the kid was in Arkham, nor anything that could possibly exonerate him; the kid just made no damn sense!
His therapy sessions were all the same dead end.
The therapist would ask he he was feeling. The kid would apparently shrug, or sometimes mumble something the therapists could never quite catch.
They'd ask the standard suicide questions. "Any thoughts of wishing you could go to sleep and not wake up?"
A shrug.
"Any thoughts of wanting to take your own life or wishing someone would take it for you?"
Vehenement refusal bordering on a panic attack.
Move on to the hurting people questions.
"Any thoughts of wanting to harm other people?"
"No." According to the doctors, his tone here is immediate, calm, confident. Truthful. If the Arkham psyches are to be believed.
"Any thoughts of wanting to harm yourself?"
"No." Slower, quieter, meeker. Noted as a clear lie, citing the injuries as evidence.
"Then why do you, Danny?"
"I don't."
"Then where did your injuries come from."
"The ghosts," said with a sigh
At this point, it seems Daniel shuts down. He says nothing else for the rest of the session. Shows no outward response as the therapist tries to convince him there are no ghosts and Daniel must be giving himself those injuries.
2 and a half months. Daily therapy sessions. And every single one is the exact same script. The only differences are some minor notes as Daniel is passed around between therapists as they all inevitably get frustrated talking to the emotionless block of ice.
Outside of the therapy sessions and medical reports documenting the frankly horrifying amount of injuries Danny accumulates, there's not much in his file. He follows all instructions to the letter; never causes trouble for guards or other inmates; and every single locks malfunction, he has afterward been found lying on his bed in his cell staring at the ceiling. If he was somewhere else when the malfunction happened, security footage catches him walking there himself. If he was already in his cell, footage keeps him there the whole time.
Tim sighs again, clicking out of the medical report detailing the nasty bruise that had appeared on the kid's lower left back, then opens up the next file up without reading the name fully expecting it to be another tedious therapy session report.
Instead, he finds a discipline slip with the relevant security clip embedded at the top. The first frame is of the cafeteria. Daniel is sitting alone at a table in the top right. Tim's breath catches in his throat as he recognizes the demented clown in the center of the frame. Hastily, he plays the clip.
There is no sound but Joker appears to say something to the room. Daniel is suddenly standing, whipped around to face the clown. The Joker turns towards him. Daniel tenses. The Joker tenses.
In the next second, Daniel is on the Joker. He's kicking, scratching, biting. Absolutely feral as he just reigns fury upon the most feared and hated rogue in all of Gotham. Surrounding inmates are fleeing to the sides of the room as the Joker seemingly tries to get away from the kid, only succeeding in moving the "fight" around the room. It's hardly a fight. More like a vicious, brutal assault. Inmates cheer as blood appears on the floor. Guards move in, pulling the feral 15 year old off of the Joker; who stays down, potentially unconscious. 2 guards go to help the one currently attempting to restrain Daniel. 6 more converge on the Joker, blocking him from view. As soon as he can no longer see the Joker, Daniel seems to go limp in the guards hands. Then he tenses again, though not struggling. Tim just catches the beginning stages of what seems to be a panic attack before the clip ends.
Tim stares dumbfounded at the screen for several moments. When he snaps out of it enough to actually read the incident report, it is a basic transcription of what Tim just witnessed with confirmation that Daniel had a panic attack immediately after. The report also notes that other than the panic attack, Daniel seemed to sustain no harm. He was disciplined with 3 days without cafeteria privileges, so his meals were brought to his cell, and 3 days without Crafts room privileges.
A note at the bottom of the report reads "To prevent further incidents, Patient 26B and the Joker are no longer permitted to be in the same room or yard."
This makes Tim click out of the discipline slip -without closing it, just moving it to a different section of the batcomputer's massive screen- and scan the rest of the files. There are 2 more. One from a week prior and one from Daniel's first dat at Arkham. He opens both, placing them at points on the screen so that all 3 are visible.
The one from the week prior shows the Crafts Room. Danny is again in an upper corner. Time plays it. The door opens. Joker walks in. Seems to look at Daniel, then rushes him. Daniel looks up before the Joker makes it half way across the room, then in the next second meets him there. Another feral fight only broken up by the guards when the Joker stops moving. Again, Danny goes limp as soon as the Joker is out of sight. The rest of the report confirming a panic attack but no injuries. 2 days lost privileges.
The report from Daniel's first day again shows the cafeteria. This time, Daniel is center frame. Joker comes up behind him. Daniel tenses but doesn't turn yet. Joker seems to be saying g something, then laughs. Daniel hunches in on himself, seeming to mumble a response. Whatever he said makes the Joker laugh harder. Then he leans down over Daniel's shoulder, talking. Daniel seems frozen for not even half a second before he suddenly pushes himself out of his seat, straight in to the Joker, twisting as he goes to begin the attack. Since it's obviously the first time, the rest of the cafeteria freezes. No one reacts for a solid 6 seconds. Then guards are moving in, hauling the teenager away. The Joker stands unsteadily then takes a knee. He has to be led limping out of the room. Guards struggle to restrain Daniel until the Joker is gone, whereafter Daniel goes boneless, then begins panicking. Report confirms panic attack and no injuries. 1 day lost privileges.
Tim stares at the batcomputer for several minutes, trying very hard to process what he has just learned. His brain feels like soup. He rubs his eyes, looks at his coffee, grabs a comm to put in his ear. His voice is strained as he speaks.
Anyone nearby who can come to the cave for a minute?
Jason responds instantly.
Upstairs. Find something?
I don't... know. I just. Someone come confirm I didn't just hallucinate what I just watched and read.
Red Robin? What did you find?
Not saying until someone else can confirm it.
Red Robin
On my way down.
.
"What the actual fuck?"
#Tagslist will go in a reblog cause there are#a lot#Dp x DC#A King in Arkham#I'm sure everyone wants to see Red Hood swoop in#And whisk Danny away#I promise we'll get there soon#Next chapter if I don't get careies away again#But for now#I simply could not resist giving Danny clown trauma and making him feral about it#Enjoy!#Mentions of suicide#Mentions of self harm
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Bubble wrap- Max Verstappen 🍃
Back again writing for this one! This isn't my best piece or longest but I hope you all enjoy it regardless (p.s I know you wouldn't be just allowed to go home if you cut your head open but for this story you can lol) 🤍
Request- After you have a small car accident, you call your overprotective boyfriend for help...
Prompt- "I'm on my way, love..."
When people ask you what your favorite part of dating a world champion driver is, they expect you to say the typical... traveling the world, attending every race you could, meeting A-list celebs in the paddock e.c.t. But in reality, they weren't anywhere close. The real answer was the summer break!
Spending every single night together for 3 weeks without the stress of traveling, intense training, or missing out on monumental moments of your lives together. This season has been the hardest. You had just started your dream job in the biggest journalism company in the world & it was safe to say Max was ecstatic... and although you were both proud of the achievement and your career was heading in the right direction, it also meant that you weren't able to attend as many race weekends as you did when you were a student! Although he claimed he didn't mind and that your career as a journalist was just as important as his, you both knew there was a part of him that wished you were with him more. So when the summer break is grew closer, you didn't hesitate to book 2 weeks off, promising your manager that the work from another week that you spent away would be done remotely.
You never denied that it was hard work... having an athlete boyfriend who travelled for a living and having a just as demanding 9 to 5 job. But as you felt his tight grip on your waist, head nuzzled in the crook of your neck as soft snores fell from his mouth you knew that it was all worth it...
"Where are you going?" Max groaned as he felt you tug away from his grip, voice full of sleep as the morning light shadowed through the gaps in the blinds making him keep his eyes closed. You didn't want to leave him, especially when he was this comfortable but you wanted to do something special for him, especially after all that he had done for you this holiday. For the last 2 weeks, he had been waking you up every morning with breakfast in bed, a fresh cup of coffee on the tray spoiling you rotten. So on this rare occasion where you were awake before him, you knew it was your turn to treat the driver instead.
Running your fingers through his brown locks, you whispered softly "Go back to sleep handsome, I will be right back..." Normally he would try and protest, dragging your body closer to his as he'd mumble something about being lonely. But today, he was the complete opposite, like he knew it was your moment to shine and didn't want to ruin it... and in less than minute later he was fast asleep, allowing you to sneak away from him without feeling guilty.
After you were done with your usual routine you skipped down the stairs excitedly, however it was cut surprisingly short as you saw the near-empty fridge. It wasn't abnormal for your fridge to be empty near the end of the holidays, you didn't see the point in stocking it up and putting all the food to waste when your busy schedules kicked in once more. But in this case, you wished it was different.
Knowing you couldn't leave it, you ran back upstairs to your sleepy boyfriend, trying your best to wake him up peacefully. "Maxie..." You mumbled, kneeling on the side of the bed as you rubbed his bare shoulder gently, the motion causing him to stir slightly "I'm going to nip out to the store, we've ran out of grocery stuff... do you need anything?"
Using the arm that wasn't buried underneath the thick duvet, he dragged you down causing you to screech slightly "you!" His comment made your heart burst with adoration and for a moment you were going to stay with him, wrapped in his arms like a safety blanket, but when you heard his stomach slightly groan you knew that wasn't possible. "You'll have me later bubs" You giggled, trying to move his heavy grip from you but failing miserably "But I really need to go... it won't be long till you get up and be disappointed that there's nothing in.."
"There would be if you didn't have the last bagel last night..." He mumbled, slightly letting you go.
"Shut up and go back to sleep..." You giggled, knowing there was no point arguing with him on this one cause he was right. "Let me drive you.." He breathed sleepily, slowly trying to get up but you pushed him back down, chuckling as a small pout graced his lips. "I won't be long bubs I promise” smiling you give him one last kiss on the head “you keep the bed warm for me, okay?” You could barely make out his reply as he muffled into the pillow a distant “okay..” Deciding to leave him to sleep in peace, you finally went back downstairs grabbing your keys & wallet before making a dash to the store, wanting to get back into the arms of your sleepy lover as soon as possible!
The whole trip was rushed, securing everything you needed to make a delicious breakfast in bed in a record-breaking time. But the trip didn’t end as smoothly as you thought it would…
Just as you were about to make the corner to the busy roundabout, a car came from nowhere! & like an opening of a grand Prix, you were pushed off the road and into a car sign. Your head bounced off the stirring wheel as your heart stopped... never in your 5 years of driving have you ever had a crash! You were always safe, avoiding collisions or conflict on the road.. but like they say it can happen in a flash.
You're breath hitched as you felt liquid run from your forehead, your glossy eyes just making out the slash on your head through the rear-view mirror. It wasn't the biggest cut but you knew it wasn't something that could easily be fixed with a plaster.
The ambulance arrived within 10 minutes, immediately checking you over as they seen to the gash on your head. You never realized how many people you had to speak to after an accident, the list was never ending... within 20 minutes you spoke to the police, paramedics, causer of the accident, insurance company... But there was only one person you needed to speak to, one person you needed...
"Right your all done, honey..." The paramedic spoke, giving your forehead one last wipe "Is there anywhere else that is hurting you..." Still not finding enough words to say, you shook your head. "Okay lovely... is there anybody we can contact for you to go home with or would you like someone to escort you?"
Without hesitation, you breathed out his name "Max, my boyfriend..." Giving you a smile and a quick nod, she turned around, ready to go get his number "Can I call him..?" You mumbled nervously. "Are you sure honey, you took quite a hit there?"
"Yes.. I'm sure..." You smiled, dishing out your phone with your shaking hands "I'll give him a ring now.." Leaving you in they went to the front of the vehicle, still keeping a close eye on you as they left you to phone him in 'private'
Max stirred awake as his phone buzzed against his bedside table, & although he was exhausted he couldn't help but smile as he saw your name flash up upon the screen. Thinking you were just asking going to ask him what type of juice he wanted for breakfast, he chuckled softly down the speaker "Hi baby... you okay-" He stopped as he heard your heavy breathing and the faint sound of sirens leaving in the background "(y/n)… what's happened?"
"Max..." You breathed out, breathe hitching "Can you come pick me up please?"
His eyes grew wide as he heard the panic and worry in your voice. "Why baby, what's happened?" Already in the process of getting ready, he listened to your sighing voice "I've been in a car accident... I'm okay I promise, just a small scratch on my head but my car can't say the same.."
Not needing to hear anymore, he grabbed his keys dashing out the door just like you had done this morning, but this time it was necessary "I'm on my way, love... stay right there.."
Max drove down to your location more anxious than a grand Prix, and although you told him that you were okay and it was just a knock he couldn't help but to panic that it was more than that. You always downplayed your injuries or illnesses, not wanting to make people fuss over you, which made him panic even more. But as he arrived and noticed you sat on the curb next to a paramedic with a dressing on your head, he knew it could of been worst as your car got pulled away completely destroyed!
Hopping out of his car, he immediately ran towards you "Oh my god, schat..." He sighed, pulling you into him gently not wanting to hurt your fragile body anymore "Are you okay...? what the hell happened..."
Feeling a little bit calmer now you were in his arms, you smiled looking at him shyly "I'm fine Maxie, just a small cut on the head that's all..."
Giving you a stern look, his finger hovered over the blood-stained dressing on your forehead "It doesn't look fine (y/n)… it's still bleeding.." Looking at the paramedic, he sighed "Are you sure she's going to be okay... she doesn't need to be checked out or anything?"
"I told you he was a panicker.." You giggled to her, causing a huff to fall out your boyfriends lips.
"She's going to be fine sir.." She smiled friendly "We had all the facilities to deal with her injuries in the ambulance... in total (y/n) had 8 stitches.." Max flinched as he heard the number, looking down at you as you gave him a sincere smile "But we don't believe to think there is any internal damage to her body, he Obs came back totally normal and she passed the cognitive test... of course, if you would like to go get a CT scan to double check we can take you both down to the local clinic.."
Before he could speak, you interrupted "No thank you... I'll be okay.."
"Are you sure baby?" He sighed, giving your shoulders a quick squeeze "Don't you think we should just get it checked, just in case it is anything more..."
Shaking your head, you smiled leaning up to kiss his lips "I just want to go home..."
"Very well then.." The paramedic smiled, handing you over a leaflet "If you change your mind your local centre is here.. just pop in anytime for a check over..."
"Thank you so much.."
"No worries, take care..."
As they walked away, you looked up to find Max looking at you with a worrying look "What's up handsome?"
He didn't want to be the vulnerable one right now, not after what you had just gone through. He didn't want to cry or break down in the middle of the road about how he could have lost you. How the accident could of been worst and he'd once again leave in a world were he didn't have you.
Pushing the unthinkable thoughts away, he shook his head, putting his hand on the small of your back as he guided you to his car "Nothing baby..." He sighed "I'm just happy your okay that's all.."
"I'll always come back to you.." You giggled, getting in as he pecked your cheek "Not even a speeding car or a lamppost could stop that.."
His heart melted at your words, even after all of your years together you still made him feel exactly the same... "Stop it.." He chuckled, fastening your seatbelt before going over to his side "You could of killed out there... your never driving alone again!"
"You going to wrap me in bubble wrap to.." You teased as he made sure you seatbelt was tight "I just want you to be safe that's all.." He mumbled over the starting engine.
"As long as I'm with you I'll always be safe.." You smiled "Even if your job is driving a car more than 200 mph!"
"At least your funny bone wasn't damaged.." He chuckled, shooting you a playful glare as he went past the store "Did you get everything you needed anyway?"
"Max!" You gasped, causing him to look at you panicked "They took the groceries! We need to go back so I can make you breakfast.."
"No we're not.." He laughed, placing his hand on your thigh "We are going straight home and your going to rest on the couch while I order us something... you are not doing a thing missus, you hear me?"
"Yes Max..." You groaned, giving him a salute as if he was your master "When did you get so bossy, officer Verstappen.."
"Since my girlfriend decided to crash into a lamppost.." He chuckled teasingly "Besides it's not even time for breakfast anymore... you'll have be gordan ramsey tomorrow now.."
"Fine..." You groaned "But promise me I can do it for you!"
"I promise!" He smiled, leaning over the system to peck your lips "I'll get the bubble wrap ready!"
#max verstappen imagine#max verstappen one shot#red bull#formula one#f1#f1 blurb#max verstappen blurb#max verstappen
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Broken (Part one) (Sidon x Reader)
Around 800 words, sorry it's kinda short.
(Seems everyone collectively agreed the nickname for Sidon’s beloved is “Pearl” so we going with that too)
Warnings: Trauma, scared reader, injured reader, sadness, would this be classified as agnst?
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One breath and then another. It took time to cool down after the intense trauma.
It had been 2 weeks since you came home to Zora’s Domain. 2 weeks since you escaped the never ending torture of the Yiga Clan. Two weeks and you were a wreck. But you still hadn’t told Sidon anything yet, in fact you had barely said anything to anyone since your return. Your feelings were complicated and your thoughts were mixed.
—-
(Two weeks earlier)
When Sidon saw you passed out on the road, tattered and broken, after being missing for 3 months, he froze. It was supposed to be a short, week-long trip to a nearby stable to help cook for the less fortunate.
When you didn’t return after three days, Sidon sent out patrols and looked for you everywhere. Everyone who passed through was searched and questioned, but no one had even heard of you. The majority of the domain thought you just ran away, wanted to run from the stress of Sidon working all the time. He knew this was not true. He had a gut feeling the entire time that something had happened to you.
After defending you for weeks in the light of day, and then wallowing in guilt in the shade of night, Sidon felt so lost. His world was missing.
So when he saw your body, crumpled and broken, blood dripping from your mouth and cuts all over, his heart broke. He thought you were dead, and you would’ve been if he wouldn’t have rushed you home.
He stayed up all night to make sure you were ok, when he finally fell asleep it was next to you.
You slept for 4 days and by the morning of the 5th day you returned, when you opened your eyes as the sun was just rising, you didn’t know where you were. Sidon was next to you, he had slept there every night. When you saw his face you let out a scream of terror. The next thing you knew your vision went blurry.
“My Pearl- you’re awake- are you ok- I-“
The breathing came fast and heavy. Then the tears began to flow as everything that happened in the past 3 months came back to you. You recognized Sidon, of course, but although you wished it could be any other way, you also feared him more than almost anything in all of Hyrule. But to tell him would be to break him. So you kept silent as he brushed away your tears, flinching at every move and moment.
He held you until he noticed something was definitely off. Your pushing away at his arms got more and more intense and the look in your eyes was not one of love, but one of fear. When he reached over with a trembling hand to brush the hair from your face you stiffened at the touch.
“Are you- you can’t- are you afraid of…me?”
You just looked off to the side confirming Sidon’s suspicions. He backed away from you slowly. “What exactly happened in that time you were gone?” When you stayed silent he followed up with, “My Pearl…who hurt you?”
—-
(Current time)
Staring from the balcony of your room, your new room (once your fear of Sidon became obvious they arranged a new place for you to stay), you saw Sidon. He was sitting on the edge of the Domain, crying. You felt awful. After all, Sidon is the love of your life, and after what happened you can’t get close to him without a freak out.
You know that even if it pained you that much, you had to open up to him. Sidon had to know what happened behind the waterfall, even if it broke both your hearts, anything was better than this. You vowed to tell him everything when the moment was right.
(Later that night)
Your screams echoed through your door. Sidon, who had only found comfort in sleeping across from your room ever since your move occurred, heard your tortured cries. He ran to your door and seconds before he knocked he knew it would only cause you ore distress in him being there. This had been a pattern going for the last week. Sidon would forget your condition and then the realization would come crashing back. Everything was eating him alive.
Just a moment later you opened the door, tears streaming down your face. The exact Zora you wanted was looking back at you, tears glistening his eyes just like you.
You slammed your body against him locking the two of you in an embrace. "I'm so scarred Sidon." Your arms trembled around him. "I'm ready to tell you everything."
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Not sure if I'm going to do a part two. If you want one (maybe with what happened behind the waterfall and y/n telling Sidon why they're/she's scared?) just request it/reply. Hopefully you enjoyed this, I'd love to hear some opinions!
#sidon botw#sidon totk#prince sidon#sidon x reader#x reader#zora's domain#fanfic#botw#botw fanfic#yn#y/n
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moments I should have known I was autistic
This one is a little different bc it indirectly resulted in my first time flagging autism as a thing I might have
Covid lock down in 2020 was really hard for several reasons, mainly not having any friends and not being able to leave the house. But once I finished the school year and made some friends online... I never before nor after have had a year that was better for my mental health and creativity. I organize my art chronologically in my computer and 2020 still remains as the single most productive year for my art ever, by file count. The majority of progress I've made in developing my fictional worlds and stories was made during lockdown, both in 2020 and 2021 throughout my senior year, which was a hybrid remote so I only had to go in 2 days a week.
I spent maybe 30 mins to an hour a day on Instagram looking at crossposts from tumblr. Seeing that I was relating to a very high concentration of queer and autism posts was what first caused me to begin questioning whether I might be autistic. I grew up in a straight, conservative household. I'm a cis female. And yet I observed and said at one point in 2020 "I relate more to the experiences of an autistic gay man than I do to the experiences of anyone in my demographic". I would joke that maybe I'm autistic, but didn't really do any research until the next couple years when I hit college. This was also when I started thinking I had ADHD, but it was 2 years until I got my diagnosis for that.
Looking back it makes so much sense. The reason why I couldn't relate to other straight neurotypical girls is because I'm NOT neurotypical, and I AM attracted to women. (I do not label myself as bisexual or date women for personal & religious reasons, but I do accept that as part of myself and I don't try to force myself to change.) I had spent 17 years trying to fit in with the normal kids and yeah, it was never going to work because I wasn't normal no matter how much I thought I was.
The reason why lockdown was so productive for me creatively and why I felt so healthy and at peace was because I didn't have to leave my house, which meant I didn't have to mask. Even on occasional trips to the grocery store, the building was so empty that it was quiet. I never had to suffer through sensory overload. My house was clean (never before nor after lockdown has my family's home ever been clean enough for me to function in) meaning I could cook in thr kitchen and hang out on the floor or in the livingroom with no sensory problems.
Even once I went to my senior year of high school, it was only 2 days a week in-person. I wore my mask and didn't talk to anyone unless I had to. The food was awful and working with clay in the ceramics class was difficult on a sensory level but as long as it was wet I was fine. They had remote work for us to do on the 3 days home, but I just did it on school days and did art and played minecraft on the off days.
My mental health was abysmal at the start of lockdown, so of course I suffered plenty mentally throughout. But I made SO MUCH progress.
Now that the world has gone back to normal, I'm back to struggling. It's hard to hold down a job because every job available to me isoverestimating. Going to the grocery store is overstimulating because there are crowds of people there. The roads are full of traffic, strangers try to talk to me or wear heavy fragrances/have body odor and stand less than 6 ft away. I can't take 5 days a week to rest, I have to work to pay my bills. If I don't work, I spend those 5 days wondering where my next source of income is going to come from. I sleep way too much, or at least at all the wrong times, because of how stressed I am at the end of every day keeps me awake late into the morning, and then I overslept because I'm exhausted. I used to live in a rural area but now I live in the city, at an apartment complex where it's never fully quiet. (My roommates and i are touring houses this week! Fingers crossed!!).
It seems like I really am disabled in the context of my environment.
I can function OK when I'm in school with no other responsibilities. I can function OK when I have a job and no other responsibilities.
I can barely function, or not at all, if I have school AND a job.
I function best when I have minimal responsibilitie's to fulfill outside of what I enjoy doing. Because I'm disabled. And the covid lockdown was an illustration of how I could function in an accommodating environment.
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Okay, um… for the writing requests if u‘d be interested in trying:
26. "I dreamt about you last night..."
Casteshipping, post canon (dm or DSOD, your pick) TBK + Atem came back AU, SFW and as fluffy as you can possibly make it :3
Pretty please? 💖
Ohhh very nice, what a way to start things off!
Thank you my friend for the wonderful prompt and a wonderful ship I have never had chance to write for before!
I went with post DSOD, but it may not be clear. I hope I made it sufficiently fluffy for their characters too, and that you enjoy <3
............
With a sigh, Atem finally admitted to himself that sleep wasn’t coming. It had been one of those nights…he knew them all too well.
Nights where he tossed and turned and never seemed to be able to stay asleep for more than a handful of minutes before his overactive mind decided to throw another issue at him to consider.
The soft breathing of Yugi in the other bed in the room began to irritate him. He was jealous that his partner seemed to be able to sleep so soundly when he himself couldn’t manage to get more than two hours at a time.
Another soft sigh left his lips and he pushed himself up, swinging his legs out of the bed and looking across the room. Yugi's sleeping form was barely visible to him in the darkness of the room, but it was almost dawn and the sky was growing lighter outside the window.
Yugi never minded being woken when he couldn’t sleep but…he’d caused enough trouble turning up here uninvited with another long dead Egyptian in tow and he really didn’t want to bother him any more.
His partner had done enough by opening his home to them.
He stood up and pulled on a shirt then left the room as quietly as he could. As he made his way tiredly toward the living room he passed by the other room in the small apartment Yugi owned, the door stood open and he chewed his lip as he continued silently on.
In what some would call a cruel twist of fate, Bakura had returned along with him to the land of the living just over a month ago. Neither of them knew how or why they had been given a second chance, and for lack of any other alternative, both had clung to the other as the only living relic of their time.
The fact that Yugi had offered them both a home with him was nothing short of miraculous, but his partner had confided in him that although he was wary of Bakura, he couldn’t turn away someone who so clearly needed help.
So they both lived in Yugi's home with him whilst they tried to carve out a new life for themselves in a world which was all but alien to them.
As he entered the living room he wasn’t surprised to find Bakura sitting on the sofa, staring blankly at the TV which wasn't even on.
This was also new to them, this…friendship? No, alliance was probably a better word…he wasn’t sure they’d ever been friends, that they’d forged between them. It had taken time, of course, and the first time Atem had found the other awake and unable to sleep like him, panic had led him to run from the situation.
A short week and many conflicting thoughts later though and Atem had opened the door between them, he’d introduced conversation to the times where they both found themselves awake and thankfully, Bakura had accepted his offers thus far.
"Are you alright?" He asked softly, crossing the room and hovering awkwardly by the sofa, not sure if he should sit or keep his distance…that was never quite clear to him, even though he desired to close the gap between them more than anything.
"No." Bakura's answer was short and sharp.
Atem paused in moving closer, held himself back because this was still odd to him, it was still something he needed to get his head around.
They were both meant to be dead after all, each of them had met their end thousands of years ago on one day where the world appeared to be ending and they stood on opposing sides. Yet still, he found himself drawn to this man.
He wanted to know him, wanted to understand him and maybe…just maybe, he wanted even more than that too- but later.
"Oh…" He hesitated once more then shook himself, reminded himself that once upon a time he had been a Pharaoh, and rulers of entire kingdoms didn't tiptoe around issues. "We can talk about it if you like…"
He carefully took a seat on the opposite end of the sofa, moving slowly as if he was in the presence of a dangerous animal…and perhaps in a way he was.
Bakura's head turned to him ever so slightly, eyes flicked curiously in his direction and he waited patiently.
"Do you always have to be so damned formal?" Bakura huffed, arms crossing over his chest. "Would it kill you to relax?"
"You tell me." He said, voice light.
Those words earned him a smile from the other and he allowed himself that small victory.
"I'm done hating you." Bakura said softly. "You know that."
"Perhaps…"
Bakura sighed heavily, looking away from him and toward the window where the new day was dawning, the sky now a light blue.
"I couldn't sleep." Bakura said, his words cutting the heavy silence between them.
"Nightmares?" He asked, suppressing a shudder at the word he was all too familiar with.
They both suffered from broken sleep, that was painfully clear in how they'd each found the other awake and at a loose end many a night now.
"Not exactly." Bakura said softly. "But don't get me wrong, it could have easily been one…may well turn out to be yet."
He nodded even though the other wasn't looking at him. He allowed himself to relax a little more, settling into the cushions behind him and letting his hands fall to his lap.
"I'm here if you'd like to talk about it." He said. "Maybe we can work out if it truly was a nightmare?"
Bakura glanced at him and Atem gave him a gentle smile. He did want to improve the relationship between them, he wanted to know more about Bakura, who he was and what he really wanted.
Although they had spoken a little since being granted this new life, he still wasn't sure he understood just why Bakura was here…with him…
He wasn't even sure of himself. Too many nights had confusing thoughts plagued his mind along with an attraction he couldn't deny. At first that attraction had scared him, but following advice from his partner he had learned to embrace the scary feelings he found himself faced with and lean into them a little.
Just a little.
"I…" Bakura sighed and turned to him, hands grasped tightly together in his lap and eyes not quite meeting his, instead they rested somewhere at his collar and for some reason Atem felt himself blush under the curious stare. "I dreamt about you last night."
"Me?" He asked, unable to stop the excited flutter in his stomach. Bakura nodded. "Um, what did I do?"
Bakura laughed, eyes finally meeting his as he shifted on the sofa, moving closer to him.
“Something bad.” Bakura said, a smile on his face which Atem struggled to define the meaning to. “Terrible, absolutely abhorrent.”
“I’m sorry.” He said, the words out of his mouth before he could even think of how to respond. It seemed that all he ever did was apologise to this man, for everything he’d allowed to happen, for everything those before him had allowed… “Whatever I did, I assure you it’s nothing I’d ever do to you now-”
“That’s a shame.” Bakura cut him off, a small smile on his face.
“What?”
Bakura moved closer again and Atem was suddenly torn between readily accepting this new development between them or jumping away for fear of his life.
“Well…In my dream, I didn’t exactly mind what you did and that is why I find it so terrible.” Bakura told him.
He nodded, no idea where this conversation was taking them but when a hand moved to rest over his knee he decided he was content to wait and find out.
Bakura had never broken that particular barrier between them, never once reached out to him yet here he was now, moving even closer to him and so confidently too.
He guessed the others' boldness shouldn’t shock him so, he’d never been bound by the ties of tradition as Atem had, never been forced to subdue his feelings, to conform… but still, the touch, no matter how small felt all too intimate and he was so torn in how to react.
After all, if he reacted too eagerly he’d never hear the end of it, but if he shied away then perhaps he’d ruin the chance which seemingly presented itself.
So he settled for not moving at all, for simply staring back into eyes which had seen too much for their age, into a face scarred by atrocities which never should have happened…
“You kissed me.” Bakura said, shock clear in his words, even though a small smile remained on his face. “And I found that maybe…I wanted you to.”
He opened his mouth then closed it again, unsure of how to respond in a sane manner.
“Imagine my surprise, to find I can leave a Pharaoh speechless with nothing more than a few words.” Bakura’s voice was smug, but his smile was gentle and Atem was feeling so many things in that moment he wasn’t entirely sure what to do.
When Bakura's hand slid just a little higher he was shocked out of his thoughts. That touch brought a heat with it which he hadn’t felt for what seemed like way too long and he laughed breathlessly.
“Take pride in your achievement then, it is one so few have managed.” He said, shifting back into old habits, masking his feelings with his words, trying for an eloquence fitting of his previous life.
“Ah, there he is.” Bakura laughed. “There’s the royal brat I’m used to.”
He grinned, glad to hear a joyous sound from the other for a change.
“Oh, insults now?” He teased, deciding to lean into the scary feeling a little more. “I am flattered.”
“You know me well enough by now, did you expect any different?” Bakura said with a smile and he shook his head.
He felt as if something had shifted between them, another barrier had fallen and Bakura suddenly seemed just that much more…human to him. A frown creased his brow and Bakura hesitated, he felt the hand on his thigh tighten then slip away but he moved quickly, placing his own hand over the others.
Bakura gave him a smile which was unlike any other he’d seen before on his face, and it made his stomach flutter with excitement again.
“What troubles you?” Bakura asked, his voice quiet and uncertain.
He wanted to make a joke about him showing concern but he thought better of it. Instead he smiled shyly, his hand moving to hold Bakuras, he moved slowly, slipping his fingers between the others and seeing how far he would allow him to take this.
“Is it not strange to you?” He asked softly.
“You mean suddenly finding myself attracted to my sworn enemy?” Bakura laughed quietly. “Perhaps.”
Another breathless laugh left his lips as he looked down at their joined hands. He wasn’t sure what he expected from such a small touch, but for it to feel so right was a surprise.
“I suppose love and hate stem from the same place…” He said.
“Oh? Royalty and a scholar? Aren’t I lucky.” Bakura's voice was teasing but it was warm to hear.
“Don’t you forget it. Now as for your dream…” He said softly. “Would you like it to become reality?”
He relished the brief moment of stunned silence he received, but it passed quickly and he was once again left speechless by the man before him. The others eyes moved down to his lips slowly, a smirk crept onto his face and Atem sat frozen.
“I have never been one to let an opportunity pass me by.” Bakura told him, the hand in his tightened its hold and the distance between them disappeared just a little more.
It was a gradual thing, something which he didn’t truly register was happening until his eyes fell closed and lips pressed against his. Nothing about the kiss was gentle, but he hadn’t expected it to be such. Honestly, he might have even been disappointed if it was.
The way Bakura kissed him though…it was everything he needed. It was short, but just as Bakura did with everything, he did it with passion and that left him wanting so much more, but then the short distance was back between them and he took a deep breath as he opened his eyes.
“We should try to get back to sleep.” Bakura said, the slightest hint of regret in his voice and Atem smiled.
“We could stay here and try.” He suggested.
“Together?” Bakura's voice was filled with shock, and maybe even a little hope too…
“Um, only if you want to.” Atem said quickly. Pushing things would do him no good, he’d come so far, he didn’t want this to ruin all their progress. “I wouldn’t mind staying here with you anyway.”
Bakura hummed, glancing back toward the room he’d been given then looking back at Atem, a small smile on his face.
“Maybe it’d be easier to sleep with company.” Bakura said.
“Can’t hurt to try.” He agreed.
“Spoken like a true politician.” Bakura teased, then he pushed himself away, dropping Atems hand and laying back against the sofa, feet coming up to nudge against his legs. “Come here then. If we’re gonna try, we should try properly.”
He hesitated for a moment, looking back at Bakura who gave him a smile, holding his arms out wide.
Atem tried to move like he wasn’t so eager for the contact, like he didn’t want to be held so badly. He liked to think he succeeded.
Bakura only laughed, arms coming to rest around him hesitantly. He could feel the other tense against him, the chest under his head hardly moved with breath and the arms around him were stiff.
He’d never been one to back down from a challenge though, so he pressed closer, threw a leg over one of Bakuras and snaked an arm around his waist, tilting his head back so he could press a gentle and short kiss to the underside of the other's unshaven jaw.
That particular move could have had him tossed from the sofa completely, but instead, it had an opposite effect. He felt the arms around him relax, the body against his fell a little more naturally into the cushions.
He closed his eyes and sighed happily, content to lay there in the early hours of the morning with someone who in another time, he wouldn’t be with. In another time they would have avoided each other, perhaps even tried to kill one another, but now?
Now they had a new life, and a new world to carve out a place in and maybe they needed each other to provide some stability in all of that. He felt himself drifting off to sleep, and distantly he registered fingers running through his hair, what could have been lips pressed to his temple, but he was too sleepy to explore that right now.
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Fancy sending me an ask and getting me to write you something silly and sweet? Here's the post with the prompts on- link
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You Will Find Me: Chapter. 9
Hey everyone! Sorry I wasn’t able to post this! I had one hell of a work week and I wasn’t feeling good either. So here it is and I hope ya’ll enjoy!
Before I shut up, I would like to thank my ladies!
@princessofdarkwinter
@hollybee8917
@adulting-sucks
love you gals!
Also there isn’t any warnings here. In the near chapters there will be.
Frank
It was late in the evening when Frank walked into the Inn. Beth was busy with the front desk, checking in the weekend guests. He looked around the lobby area, but Sarah wasn’t anywhere in sight. Sighing, he headed to the restaurant and entered through the double doors. As he walked in, the whole place was in chaos due to the busy night. From there, he could see the bakery in full sing, and his beloved working.
He noticed Sarah’s smile as she laughed with the bakers, helping them make some items. But it quickly disappeared when she looked up from piping whipped cream onto the fresh fruit cake, looking at him for a moment before returning to what she was doing.
Frank would have gone over to her, but he could tell she was still mad. So with one last sigh, he turned and left the Inn. As he gathered his luggage, a taxi came around, stopping to pick Frank up. As the cab was driving out the driveway, for some reason, maybe hope, Frank turned around thinking that somehow Sarah had a change of heart and ran after him as in those romantic movies they would watch. Slowly though, the Inn was fading away from his sight as the driver continued Frank made one last attempt to call her but was sent straight to voicemail. He took a deep breath and left a voicemail.
“I hope we can figure things out and I hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me. We have been through so much together to just let it all go. I will wait for you to come back to me.”
**
The following morning, Frank arrived at his family home, his parent’s driver, Mr. Davis, pulled into their driveway and opened the car door once he’d parked and shut the engine off. Frank got out to see his mother was standing there.
“Where’s Sarah?” Evelyn asked as Frank walked up to the front. He sighed and looked toward his mother.
“Back at the Inn,” he said and walked into the house.
“Something happened, didn’t it?” Evelyn asked, knowing that something did indeed happen before her son came to see her.
Frank paused and turned around, “Nothing-“
“She’s starting to remember everything, am I correct?” Evelyn asked.
“Mother, I came here to help you, not to be interrogated” Frank said, changing the subject.
“I know that and I’m grateful, but you know, you can’t keep that a secret forever. From the beginning I’ve told you to be honest with her -“
“Mother, I can, I will keep it from her. I love her, and she’s-“
“But you’re being selfish. You know she belongs to someone else. You know that-“
“Cut it, mother!” Frank yelled and headed upstairs to his old bedroom.
“Franklin Adler, you can’t hide from this! The truth will eventually come out!” His mother yelled, as the door slammed shut.
**
Sarah
Beep
Beep
The annoying sound of her alarm clock blared in her ear. Moaning, Sarah rolled over, picked up her phone, and swiped the red button. Looking through one eye, the time read 3:30 am. Placing her phone down, Sarah kicked the sheets off and got up. The cold immediately hit her, and she grabbed her robe from the chair in front of her. She wrapped it around her, tying it nice and snug. Yawning once more, Sarah went to the bathroom to do her business.
As she got to the bottom of the stairs, Sarah headed to the bar to make her morning latte. She knew that she was still in her robe, in her nightgown and still looked like sleep had won the battle, but she didn’t care.
“You’re up early.” Sarah heard a familiar voice, causing her to turn around, Sarah smiled at Beth.
“Oh Beth, you know I’m always awake at this time.” Sarah said as she put the first two shots into her cup.
“That’s true, but honey, is everything okay? You seem upset.” Beth asked as she took a seat at the bar. Sarah thought for a moment, debating on if she should tell Beth.
“Frank and I argued last night,” Sarah said quietly.
Beth looked at her, knowing that something else was going on, but at the same time knowing that Sarah wasn't ready to tell the rest. Before Sarah could respond, the front desk phone rang, and Beth left to answer it.
**
Nat
While Steve took advantage of the boat tours, Natasha was sitting down in the lobby working on research. The kind lady at the front desk told Steve that Frank was out for the rest of the week and that their tour guide would be Lewis.
As Nat stared at her computer screen, she looked out to see that the sun was out amid clear skies. Smiling, Nat closed her laptop, packed everything, and headed out. It was warm as Nat strolled, a familiar voice was heard. As she continued to walk, the voice sounded more like a cry. Nat wanted to ignore it but the more she walked, the louder it got. The moment she got closer, the more familiar it became.
The woman sat on the bench, wiping her eyes as she wrapped her arms around her tight hoping the pain would go away. Nat then took a seat on the bench next to her. Not wanting to intrude, Nat gave her time to collect herself.
“Oh, I’m sorry. I didn’t see you there.” Nat heard her say. Nat noticed that she was looking for a tissue when Nat grabbed a handkerchief in her purse and extended her hand to her. The woman tried to decline her offer, but Nat insisted.
“Thank you, you didn’t have to.” The woman said as she dabbed her eyes, and Nat smiled.
“It’s not a problem,” Nat said. The two sat in silence for a moment until Nat turned towards the woman.
“You seem to be alone; wanna join me for lunch?” Nat asked. The woman looked at her for a moment and smiled.
“I would like that, but I don’t even know who-“
“I’m Natasha. But my friends call me Nat.” The woman looked at her for a second.
“That’s a pretty name; I’m Sarah.” She said with a smile.
**
During the walk to the restaurant, Nat asked if she'd been there before, knowing she already knew the answer but needed to play dumb for a bit. Sarah told Nat she was the owner of the Inn. Nat gave a surprised look and apologized.
“Oh, don’t be sorry, Nat, I don’t expect people to know unless they see the website. But I do own this place with my fiancée.” Sarah said she led Nat inside. Nat then watched as she talked to the hostess, bringing them to the outside patio and looking over the beachside. It was a bit chilly, but luckily the heater was on.
“I have to ask, but if it’s too personal, you don’t have-“
“How did I meet Frank? It’s fine, and I get that question a lot. But to answer your question, Frank saved me. I was involved in a serious car accident, he was driving by. My car was down in a ditch.” Sarah said quietly.
Nat looked at her in shock; then she noticed the scarring on her face. The more Nat looked at her, the more she knew that there was something more to this story. For her car to go down into the ditch? There had to be something that caused it to be that bad, not even Neal remembered what really happened.
“Anyways, enough sappiness; what are you in the mood for?” Sarah asked. Shaking her head, Nat smiled and picked up the menu.
“Well, last night, I had the Salmon Parcells. Oh, this looks good. The Spring Citrus Strawberry Salad.” Nat said. Sarah laughed as she too placed her menu down.
“My sous chef and I made that one. Do you like Feta Cheese?” Sarah asked, making Nat smiled.
“Of course, it reminds me of an old friend I had.” Nat said sadly, and Sarah looked at her.
“Oh, I’m sorry. Then-“
“No, it’s okay. She’s not gone. We just-she went missing, and I miss her dearly but I know she will come back.” Nat said, smiling through her pain.
**
Andy
Andy stepped out of the bathroom after a nice relaxing shower. He’d had a long night last night trying to find more information on his wife’s whereabouts. Even being a successful ADA, Andy couldn’t for the life of him figure out why he was at a dead end. Everything was leading him in circles. As he changed, Andy saw the black box on his side of the bed. He knew what it was, he’d placed it there the night he returned to this house. Now and then, he would take it out, and her memories would come flooding his mind.
He sat on the bed, letting everything sink in. Andy looked at the ring and placed it onto his left hand without thinking it out. The moment he had it on, he felt an instant connection: her voice, scent, everything.
“I’m coming, sweetheart,” Andy said out loud.
Beep
Beep
His phone rang, disturbing his thoughts. He placed the box down and grabbed his phone from his side table. Steve was on his screen, and Andy picked up right away.
Steve, what’s up? Anything new?
Andy, I do have news. And you’re not going to believe what I found.”
#andy barber x female reader#andy barber x you#andy barber fanfiction#chris evans character fanfiction
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The Second Saturday Post Surgery.
I keep thinking about how much they lied to me about surgical reccovery. They call this an immobility sling and lied that it would mostly immobilize the shoulder and arm, but all it's designed to immobilize is the wrist and hand. I'd have been better off with a normal sling that lets the fingers and thumb poke ou an open end so they can move and get blood flow. A normal sling would have provided abouttwice as much support as this near usless scrap of heavy wet fabric. It also would have protected my shoulder better because the arm wouldn't slide around si much and pop out if one leans over or stands up to fast and the like.
My Neanderthal ancesters had glue technology. I'd bet real money they also had sling technology, because that is way simpler than things we know they knew how to make. They had people survive broken bones and te like. They must have had something to hold bones still while they heal. It is the 21st century in the country with the most expensive health care system in the world and a modern hospital with more than a month's warning can't provide a sling that actually works.
I keep thinking about how when they told me to get dressed, I stood up and my still numb from the neural block arm flopped limply out and hung there and I had to get the nurse to stuuf it back in there. I was home less than half an hour and I had to get Squirrel to do it. Then I had to pee and the arm flopped out and I gave up and just started wrenching it back in myself because Squirrel couldn't follow me around 24/7 stuffing it back in when I mov wrong. Remember the act of climbing into bed and arranging a complex structure of pillows and blanketsto try to hold my neck and arm still enough to keep they arm in the so called immobility sling can involve up to five involuntary arm escapes.
When I drift off to sleep, I can't hold the arm and shoulder still enough so the pain wakes me up and sometimes the arm is out. At one point a pillow started falling from the immobilization structure and without being properly awake I grabbed it with the "imobilized" arm and looked down in horror when I realized that was exactly the way they told me never to move my arm in the first to weeks.
There was so much damage from the hand and wrist immobilization I had to give up on the physio after the first week because I stopped being able to physically do them.
After I wrote Friday the pain kept escalating. Nothing I could do would slow the damage. I literally hurt worse than having my shoulder cut open and my bones stolen. It hurt worse than the kidney infection I had at second college. The only thing worse I can think of is they first several days of botched genital surgery recovery.
I feel like the surgeon not telling me the second week was going to be so much worse than the first week of recovery is a kind of lie of ommission.
If I had known how much pain and damage they were going to do to my wrist and I arm I never would have aggreed to the surgury. I can see the point of the misery the surgery causes, but the immobility sling seems to be torture for no reason at all. It doesn't contribute to healing. It doesn't protect my arm or hold it in place when I sleep. I just does damage and causes rashes and sores where it rubs.
The millenials swept in to try to rescue me Friday night. I don't know what I would have done if they hadn't because I ran out of things to try to make it stop getting worse. They turned up with fabric and notions and literally spent hours hand sewing my nasty fucking sling so it would stay on the arm and stop damaging the wrist and hand. It can't undo the damage already done, but it is doing dramatically better at basic jobs like 1. supporting the weight of my arm. 2. Holding the arm mostly still. 3. Allowwing wrist and hands to rest in a natural position. 4. Permitting blood flow to the fingers.
Again. 21st century. 2 Millenials were able to design and hand sew a better immobility sling in a couple hours than a modern hospital could provide with all of America's resources.
Yay, Millenial's, but seriously WTF shitty Catholic Peacehealth hospital. (They no longer drop whatever they are doing to group pray the way they used to in the mornings during surgical prep, but they still do a prayer and homily sort of deal over the loudspeaker every day and as a queer non-christian it has always made me feel unsafe there).
I will never forget the PT's look of panicked horror when she saw me in the hospital bed, her frantic orders for people to call around for a differnt sling because she said the one the surgical team put on me was wrong, her fumbling hurried hands as she tried to jury rig the so called immobility sling, her hasty directions.
I will never forget the way she looked at me and the words she kept using to describe me to make the sling situation my fault until the day I die.
I don't think it was on purpose, but you're seeing it to right?
She said they'd put the sling the surgical team put on me in my bag, so I could use it while we washed, but we don't have it, so I only have the one sling which hasn't been dry since last Sunday because of the heat.
Honestly, this would all be so much more bearable if it wasn't so hot. I'm endlessly sweating through my shirt and it's too hot to sleep even with fans and the air conditioner. The foul smelling thick damp fabric of the sling is too much insulation and having my arm strapped to my chest is like having a heater on.
Before you ask I have no fever an no infection warm spots on the wounded areas. They didn't care at the surgeon's office, though it worries squirrel who says the air conditioning is fine. To help me I need to stand in front of the stronger living room machine and who can sleep like that?
The Millenial's bought me an hour and a half sleep with their labor, but I had to go to the bathroom and when I got back the room was too warm and Tavy got so excited he clibed my damaged arm and clawed the incition and I yelled and cried for a while. He kept trying to come back to stand on my arm or claw at my armpit or the incition right above it for a few hours. Eventually the screaming and crying scared him so much he gave up and Livia sat vigil alone, but it was too hot to sleep and I'm too tired to read and if I watch TV I get sleepy enough to turn it off and try again, but the heat makes it all impossible.
After six hours in my torture chamber/bed, I gave up. I just needed to be out here with the stronger air conditioner a bit and the pain/bed assotiation is so fixed after nearly two weeks of this hell, it's hard to be in there especially as sitting up always hurts less, especially when it it's bad.
The cats are terrified again and have been sitting vigil since Thursday. (Tavy's hurting me out of panic. I know the difference between his moods.) Livia keeps trying to lure me back to me room so she can press gently against the wrist and hand and purr in hopes of helping. I will do that once I've posted this.
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incoming personal rant about family bullshit, minor work bullshit and holiday bullshit. you're more than welcome to read/reply, you're also more than welcome to scroll on by, feel free to ignore my venting, i just need to get it out
so, as y'all know already, xmas is an extremely stressful and busy time, esp at work and in the industry. we have extra shifts, longer shifts, more complicated functions, everyone's tired, everyone's cold, everyone's sick of the entitled guests. we had group in on tuesday that had a $4500.00 bill and they didn't want to tip the service staff....
2 weeks ago i finally picked up when my mother called because i was finally #1: awake when she called, and #2: not at work and #3: had the mental energy to DEAL with the conversation. she said that my aunt was going out to sask to see my one cousin and we were invited, i declined (and already had) because it's like a fucking 18hr drive, and i didn't want to fly (and that wouldn't have helped, like, look at the airports). she asked if i thought i would come up there (for reference, it's important to know that i do not drive). i said no, i had a bunch of extra shifts, i only had three days off and wanted to spend them doing nothing, relaxing etc. she asks if i want her to come down here, i say no, that i only have three days off and already have plans with the girls from work who also aren't going home to have drinks, order pizza and watch shitty hallmark movies (not a lie).
I FIND OUT TODAY THAT SHE'S FUCKING COMING DOWN TO "SURPRISE" ME FUCKING TOMORROW. ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS??!!!
She didn't ask, she didn't tell, she's assuming she can stay with me, and i don't know how long she's planning on staying for. Thanks to numbers at work and cuts I managed to get a full 8 days off and I planned on doing NOTHING but catching up on writing and reading, drinking, watching my tv shows and relaxing, ALONE in my empty house cause the roomate would be gone home to family for xmas.
Not only that but i was supposed to be working tonight, i just got cut because i was the third bartender in and theres only 70 ppl. So i would have been out until like, 3, 4 am, up untl probably 5/6 or later, and sleeping until 5pm. THERE IS NO FUCKING BUFFER IN THERE BETWEEN WORK AND BEING FOCED TO HOST SOMEONE WHO I DO NOT WANT IN MY FUCKING HOUSE ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW.
not to mention i do NOT have anywhere for her to sleep. i'm not giving up my room, i'm not giving her parker's room (technically i own the bed, but like, it's parker's space, you don't get to sleep there or even look in there). there was a futon in the house last year because sam owned it. like, if she thinks she's sleeping on the couch? girl. i couldn't do more than 2 nights on your couch at 30, i doubt you'll enjoy this shitty couch for sleeping at 73... ALSO, last year she went creepign down the hall all "i'm just gonna snoop into your bedrooms" like.. FUCK YOU, NO! Like, MAYBE you deserve to be able to look into my room cause i'm your daughter, but guess what, you have NO right to look at my roomates space?? esp cause both rooms were dirty and the mess from the rest of the house was shoved in there, like, fuck you, you're so fucking invasive.
I have been battling burnout, being sick, and other work bullshit for over a month now. Thanks to having tonight off I at least have time to try and process her coming, and now i get to spend my one buffer day riddled with anxiety, panic cleaning the house and all that shit rather than ENJOYING my fucking holiday?!!?? like FFS. i no longer get to enjoy even my first day off?
she has no clue what my schedule is, she has no idea what my plans are, like i could be out of town with the besties, i could already be planning to spend xmas with someone else's family, or friends, parker and i could be hosting a giant "orphans christmas", yet you think you have the right to just fucking show up on my doorstep and barge into my fucking life when i told you not to just because you're my parent!???
spoiler alert: you don't have that right.
there's a reason i moved away. there is a reason i no longer go home for holidays, there is a reason i rarely talk to anyone from my family. and shit like this? is *just* going to make it fucking worse.
tl;dr: i'm fucking livid and wanted to spend the next week getting as much writing done but apparently imma have to play host even though i didn't ask for it.
and please don't you fucking dare come into my inbox or the replies all "awwe but you should be happy that she cares, you should be happy that she wants to spendtime with you, you should be..." no... you don't know shit about our relationship and if you'd like to hear why i dislike my family so much i will gladly give you some examples.
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fic meme!!
thank u clod @manako-no-yami for the tag : )
rules: randomly select ten fics and then pick a line from each to share
this love came back to me (maze runner)
“Whatever you need, Thomas. Always. I’m not leaving.” Minho kisses his head softly. “Anywhere I should I avoid?”
this one is vv soft, if you're used to only whump from me. i can do soft too!
seven for a secret (criminal minds)
He’d held Emily as she was dying. Most mornings, he woke up and thought her blood was still on his hands.
there is a whole fic this one is based off, if you're into criminal minds i've got it linked
anywhere, as long as i'm with you (maze runner)
“Cause I know you.” Harriet kissed her, lips gritty with sand. The only thing she missed about the Maze was clean kisses.
humor, girls in love, and of course hurt/comfort
forever (on my lips) (pjo)
(the day they no longer smelled like him, the day she lost that little bit more of him, she cried herself to sleep.)
taylor swift fans, you know already. non-taylor swift fans, this is very sad. it barely gets better
haunted memories (memories, memories, memories) (maze runner)
His parents hadn’t gotten to raise either of them, and only one had returned.
(He isn't even whole.)
short and sad and sweet. also skimming this one for the line made me want to write more in this particular verse so we will see. thomas and gally being friends means so much to me in this fic
i can't read your mind (but you'll share your thoughts anytime) (maze runner)
"Oh good, you're awake." His captor yanked a knife--so that's what he'd been throwing--out of the tree next to him.
long and also sad! read the tags on this one. it's also from before i switched to present-tense (which is entirely thanks to clod, actually) and it's giving me an urge to rewrite it in present tense. that's an non-exam-week issue tho
if only we'd known (maze runner)
Minho finally sat up, seemingly unashamed to have turned into a koala overnight.
cute and sappy with a lil sprinkling of angst. modern magic au that i want to live in
could already feel your kiss (maze runner)
“Sure you weren’t. He’s quite the pretty boy, you always go for those.”
vaguely 50s inspired? there is motorcycle and car racing and leather jackets. thomas and minho are both smitten. also angst, bc... hello. it's me. i'm the problem, it's me.
for the hope of it all (maze runner)
Thomas, who had picked him to show off to his parents and sister, picked him to be Chuck’s surrogate older brother when Thomas was out of town, picked him.
Thomas had suggested the engagement. He didn’t have to, neither of their parents had mentioned anything.
Thomas had picked him.
very sad. lots of minho emotional whump here.
suits and swords (maze runner)
"And Prince Thomas?"
"He is very tiny and sweet. I like him best." His mother laughed.
ngl i miss this one. i created two religions for it, got spreadsheets and everything. and also very large family trees. might be time to properly revisit it. it's an a/b/o royal au, with me inventing fashion and social rules as i please
taylor swift song lyric titles featured here: only 3, surprisingly
anyway it's like. 11 pm for me rn so tagging might be short lol:
@its-tea-time-darling
@crestfallercanyon
@itsthemxze
@sunsetglader
#tag game#tagged#clod#maze runner fic#my fic#fic tag#taylor swift#thominho fic#thominho#criminal minds#pjo
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I could, no smarm intended, use your thoughts and prayers and good vibes and whatever other positive things you can beam into the universe and point my way.
My mom is in the hospital, at the care level below ICU, with fluid around her heart and lungs. She was diagnosed with COPD and asthma this summer and I guess she never fully recovered from the pneumonia she also had at that point. She's awake (well I haven't talked to her today but we texted some last night) but we don't know next steps yet.
Older Bro has been visiting my parents for a week but had to fly back this morning (out of DC, a 4-hour drive from their house). Dad was driving him to the airport and stopped at my house at 2 am to drop off the dog (who belongs to my cousin, who just had back surgery so we are fostering one of his pups). Dog escaped before they even made it through the gate, while I was still sleeping. I woke up at 3 to pee, thought "hmm I thought they'd have been here an hour ago" and they drove up a minute later to say they'd been chasing her for 45 minutes and had to leave soon or Bro would miss his flight. They were going to take one more lap around the neighborhood but every time they'd gotten close to her, she'd run off because she thought it was a game. She's a black husky so being out at night was especially hard to see.
So I put my shoes and jacket on over my sheep pajamas, grabbed a flashlight and some treats, and headed out on foot just to see if she'd come for me. Luckily she'd been at my house a few times so at least maybe there would be familiar smells or whatever. I was going to put out food and water but I'd just seen a possum next door so I just put out water. (I am such a bad storyteller, these details are irrelevant, but it's really just for me.) So I walk to the end of my street, towards the busy road (which wasn't bad at 3 am obviously but there were a few cars). I saw a car pulled on the wrong side of the road and headed towards it, and then thought "what if this ISN'T my dad and brother and I'm heading to my doom" but then I heard them whistle and saw the pup run in front of the headlights. So we spent another 5 minutes trying to get her to stop for a treat, which she did, but darted away when I tried to grab her and ran up across the road to the woods.
So Dad and Bro left, frustrated and scared and also trying to get to the airport on time. I said I'd walk the block back home because it's safe enough, and as I'm walking back a car honks and some guy yells "your dog is in the middle of the road" and then she ran off ahead of me and turned onto my street and stopped to sniff and took a treat from me and let me put the leash on her. I kept giving her treats till we got inside, and then elatedly texted Dad and Bro so they could stop worrying. She drank a bunch of water and we went to bed at like 4.
Anyway, burying the lede here, but I have covid -- symptoms started 8 days ago, I tested negative the first 2 days, went about my business thinking I had a cold, and then tested positive on Monday. So I'm working from home, still congested, more fatigued than usual, and extra worried from lack of sleep and the fact that my dad didn't come back by here yet. He may have gone straight home but that would add an extra hour maybe for him to get to the hospital to see mom, but I'm not sure what time she can have visitors or anything. And I guess he doesn't want to spend time here that might cause him to transmit covid (even though he had it in August) considering he might be spending a lot of time at the hospital soon.
Anyway again. I have to take cupcakes to the office for a baby shower because I'm dumb and can't ask for help. Someone will meet me at the car so I don't infect anyone but I should have just done this differently. I'm so tired. I think C is coming over this afternoon; he also probably has covid now. Everything is just a lot.
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16.05.24
Hubby on duty so I'm here alone wide awake since 1am
Pfft! Am thinking how mil will say all d reason for us to cont stayover wkend. Really don't uds y u wanna force us do such arrangement. Really don't see a point. At most we visit u when we r free. We have our own plans leh. This is definitely 1 issue if I ever get divorce w my hubby.
Anw, last jb trip was interesting to go see furniture cos acc colleagues whose getting hse soon. Dinner was d best.
Finally called d police cos there's 2 uncle being inconsiderate...brought 10 singing birds to trees along my hse n let them sing at 5.45am. Hello I still want to sleep leh.
Tried out fish maw soup n lotus soup for different week dinner.
Met up w my poly friends and had a good catch up and got many advice on dealing pregnancy and life after giving birth. But it doesn't ease me cos all I could think off is hubby bushing off my concern and the issue still there.
So...I've shared d news w hubby. Definitely stress for both of us but a joy too. At first, hubby said a few things which makes me feel like I'm all alone in this but after sharing more and explaining he learned. Guess we will have sleepless night next year. Am so glad hubby helped me cook and asked me to do some exercise for pregnant.
Although I'm not 3 mths yet but got to disclose to my close colleagues who I'm going Bali with. Now left my sup dk. Gonna share before we fly at airport hehehe
Oh right, last week was hectic. Besides sharing d joyous news, before that, I actually had heated conversation w mil over text. I mean it's a good chance to spill what are the issues since she asked what caused me unhappy staying over. Lol end up mil got triggered. To me, I'm just stating facts but she want it her way and be control freak. Lol end up wkend she also avoid seeing me. That's how she teach her kids lor. My hubby got his avoident style when managing issue.
Then during our weekly dinner, she got the chance to say go out eat so stress (lookingat d long Q), not good, still got to wait. Pls lah, go food court lo. Don't see how's that stress. Just wanna say me lah. Wah...I cannot take it when mil ask my hubby to help her apply medicated oil. Yes, it's ur son, but he should be d last choice u pick. Ur hubby for what, ur daughter for what. Then next choice is me then if they can't then pick my hubby mah. I'm quite unhappy about it but dud not shared w hubby cos he confirmed think I'm making a big fuss. It's not about helping ur mum, it's respect towards me...touching another adult woman. Then my hubby not there, mil whole week no need apply lo.
We had went to our 1st couple marriage preparation workshop over d wkend. Glad hubby participate. At least there's self awareness and tool we know what to use and what not to do. Can't wait for next session this wkend. Topic on in laws and family planning.
I feel really stressed out when I foresee issues and hubby just dismayed my concern and said I overthink. I often felt I'm alone in those situation where he thinks it's not that bad. Tell me I'm wrong:
- holiday plans often last minute and after multiple nagging (why do I have to nag u for dates and usually I have less than 3 mths to plan)
- I think we needs to move out to an apartment with d baby arriving (he thinks d child can sleep w us and no helper required. How I do confinement, how I rest, how I go back work, who takes care if there's no infant care. We both dw our parents to look after and we both working)
- so I've discussed w hubby that we will stop stayover his hse after I hit 3 mths pregnant. He agreed n I'm really grateful. (Oneness!!) But my mind keeps thinking how my mil will counter all her reasons or other pattern to force us go over besides weekly dinner. Very annoying to be controlled by mil and my fear is hubby just give in and nvr discuss me or he just flight and not say anything. I will go all out if this happens (Don't force me to say ur hubby don't acc u, u ask my hubby to acc u hor. He is ur son but my husband. He has his own family now, priority wife n child). I don't see a point being married w hubby anymore if he just hands off 😢 (ahhh am not supposed to cry)...and got to deal w this nonsense for 4 years I will go crazy. I hope mil don't force me to get abortion and divorce. 💔 你可以永远把宝贝儿子留在你身边
It's really bothering me 😭😭😭 3.40am liao
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How does someone manage to piss off someone else before that other person is even aware they're awake???
I just became aware of the world around me for 30 seconds max and you've already managed to make me wish my heart stopped while I was asleep. Because why are you mad at me for you having to iron your own son's school pants??? You're mad you have to iron it even though you gave yourself that task??? You said yourself that you'd handle the ironing of clothes since everyone else had other things to get ready for in the morning.
"That phone you love so much? You go loose it. Because you really pissing me off." EXCUSE YOU?!?
WHAT THE FUCK DOES MY PHONE HAVE TO DO WITH ANY-FUCKING-THING???
Idk if you haven't realized but when was the last time you could complain about the floors being dusty? When was the last time you could complain about the dishes being dirty? When was the last time you could complain about the stove being dirty (right after food was finished being made mind you) When was the last time you could complain about dirty clothes? Or the closest being a mess? Or not finding your shoes under the bed?
I'm stuck at home with the two youngest kids NOT EVEN BY CHOICE and I make it a point to try and keep the place and tidy and neat as possible for 24 hours EVERY DAY because YOU REFUSE to take me to go apply for jobs! I can't do that on my own because I don't have a fucking cent to my name and to get to town I need money because transport costs money!
Don't start ranting early in the mornings as if I haven't been doing shit the entire time I'm home! The only motherfucking thing I don't do is cook and it's only because #1 - I fucking can't and #2 - I'm scared I'll end up wasting ingredients if I tried cause we're broke as fuck, which is no ones fault but you and our moms, and I don't wanna waste anything.
You're recalling the ONE TIME I didn't do the dishes on time in the last month and 2 weeks and blaming it on a phone I didn't have until a week ago?!? You're upset because in the rush of constantly cleaning, dealing with screaming kids on behalf of my mother so she can rest after work and my own screaming mind that never shuts the fuck up, I didn't secure my brothers school pants? Okay yeah I could've hung it up but I didn't think of that, yk why? Cause I was thinking about the living room I needed to clean and the kitchen I needed to clean and the clothes I needed to wash
I forced myself into a sleep schedule so I can do things at a more convenient time for everyone else even though it fucking kills me to be doing anything during the damn day. I work better in the late hours but that's not convenient so I tried to fix the problem and you apparently don't see that. I was up doing chores at 1-2am because our pipe lines suck and we never get running water every day so I needed to refill everything in the house while I could. I also needed to wash as much clothes as possible before they water left. I went to bed at 3 in the fucking morning after having maintained a sleep schedule that has me knocked tf out by 12am.
I was a fucking MESS the next day but STILL managed to follow the fake routine I'd built up. Nothing I do is a routine. I have to actively make the decision to do all those things because adhd is a fucking bitch. And maybe I do rush some days to get back on my phone but that's because I have to play housewife as the oldest kid and haven't left my house beyond going to the shops in the neighborhood twice a week AT MOST. I'M LOOSING MY FUCKING MIND HERE YOU PRICK!!!
Why do I have to walk on eggshells in my own house around my own father because he's a narcissistic, selfish, dumbass??? I'm not supposed to make any mistakes at all??? Name five fucking things I did in the past month that you can consider a problem and I'll stfu.
#cubbs.vent#its fucking 7am and im heated as fuck#you even offered to do the dishes for my sister because she was tired and i couldn't becausr i was busy with my siblings#and you STILL LEFT SOME DISHES THERE#and you didn't “pass a broom” like you always say my sister and i should do#which we always do#my sister cant even do much cause she still has school
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CRYBABY
Pairing: Izuku Midoriya x reader
Warnings: nsft content, afab reader, praise, hurt, comfort, cum swapping if you squint, crying, fingering (f. receiving), begging also if you squint, slight breeding
Note: all characters are aged up to 21+
(Already posted this once but I’m pretty sure it got hidden by tumblr. Also this is out of my comfort zone of writing so sorry if it’s shit)
nsft under the cut
Things seemed different lately. You spent most of your days alone, waiting for Izuku to come home. You knew he was busy, knew he couldn’t be home as much as he used to with the crime rate heightening, but you still missed him. You missed waking up beside him, having breakfast with him, going to sleep with him.
Lately those things felt like distant memories, you couldn’t remember the last time you had gotten into bed with him beside you. He always seemed to sneak in hours after you had fallen asleep, only to be gone by the time you woke up. Sure, you would pass each other occasionally when he would come home for lunch, or in the middle of the night when you would get up for a glass of water. It just wasn’t enough though. You missed Izuku and you craved attention. You knew you shouldn’t ask for more than what he was able to give you though, you were well aware of the situation when you had moved in with him. You thought you could handle it, but you were starting to wonder if you would ever feel content with the way things were going.
It was nearly 3 in the morning now, but you decided to stay awake until your boyfriend came home. You needed some sort of affection, something to keep you going. You were willing to stay up tonight if that meant Izuku could hold you and tell you everything was okay.
Just as you started drifting asleep from your place on the couch, you heard a soft jingle of keys followed by shuffling as the door opened.
Izuku didn’t notice you at first, he was so exhausted from a tedious day of hero work as he shed himself of his shoes. A yawn escaped his lips while he removed his gloves, placing them in the same spot he always did when he got home.
Finally, Izuku looked up, nearly jumping back when he saw you curled up on the couch.
“Oh, y/n. Why are you still awake?” A frown covered his lips as he walked closer, taking a seat beside you.
“I missed you,” Your bottom lip catches between your lips as your anxiety rises, “Haven’t seen you much lately.”
You wish you could say more, tell him how upset you’ve been, how much you’ve really been missing him these past few weeks. Instead you read your head on his shoulder, not wanting to let yourself breakdown. You know he’s tired and has a lot of responsibilities.
Izuku clears his throat, softly nudging you off of his shoulder. “Are you okay, bunny?” The sweet honorific makes you smile, but it’s short lived. “M’sorry I haven’t been around much.” He whispers, forest eyes boring into your own. “I know we haven’t spent much time together lately, I should be here for you more.”
You find yourself sniffling, salty tears staining your cheeks, “M’sorry if I’m being selfish,” you hiccup, “I just miss you, I miss being with you.” You try your best to hold things in, you really do. Not just in that moment, but everyday. You never wanted to cause him any more stress than needed.
“Oh bunny, I miss you too.” You notice tears staining his freckled cheeks too, just before he wipes them away with the back of his hand. “Let me take care of you tonight,” He hums, “I know it’s late and we’re both tired, but I really want to show you how much I love you, okay?”
You softly nod your head, brushing your own tears away. Izuku is quick to thumb away the rest of them that rest near your eyes, gently using the pad of his thumb.
You cherish this moment, though it’s a simple act of affection, it means the world to you. He means the world to you.
“N’gonna pick you up, okay?” He hums, pulling you into his arms before standing up. You’re quick to cling onto him, wrapping your legs around his waist, burying your head into his chest. You deeply inhale, taking in his woodsy scent. “Stop that,” he teases, “I’m all gross.”
“I don’t mind.” You hum.
Once he reaches your bedroom, Izuku softly places you on the edge of the bed, hovering over you. You feel your cheeks heat up as you peek up at him. His eyes hold so many emotions, pain, sorrow, love. It’s hard to pinpoint just one feeling for him, he’s so distraught over seeing you upset, seeing that he upset you so deeply. He knew he had to make it up to you, remind you that he loved you.
“Just relax f’me, okay?” He hums, looming over you. His calloused hand rests against your cheek, pulling you in for a kiss.
His lips were soft and familiar against yours, a feeling you could never forget no matter how hard you try. Scarred fingers run across your cheek, down your body until the rest against your hip, softly kneading at the skin there.
The kiss deepens, izuku’s wet muscle swiping across your bottom lip, your quick to oblige, allow him to taste you a bit more. You softly nip at his bottom lip, drawing a low groan from his chest. “Don’t do that,” he lets out a breath, “m’trying to take care of you, don’t rile me up.” He teases, eyeing you.
His fingers travel from your hip to your inner thigh, pressing into the supple skin. Soft kisses liter across your neck as his fingers inch higher, finally reaching where you need him the most. A sigh escapes your lips as he taps your bundle of nerves, tracing sweet circles. You squirm under his touch, letting out a gasp.
“I’ve really been neglecting you, huh bunny?” You let out a whine, leaning into his touch, “You’re so sensitive, m’hardly touching you.” You hear him chuckle.
His fingers dip lower, collecting your wetness. Softly, he pushes one of his scarred digits inside of you, glancing up to gauge your reaction. You let out a breath, nibbling on your bottom lip.
“Please.” You whisper, hips raising to meet his hand, “Need it, ‘zuku.” A pout covers your lips as he softly pumps his finger in and out of you, “More.” You insist.
“More?” He hums, forest eyes meeting your own. Another finger slips past your lips, stretching you out. You’re practically sucking him in, your wetness coating his fingers as he moves them at a faster pace.
Moans tumble past your lips as you keen, desperately trying to move closer to him, “need you, need your cock.” You whimper, squeezing your eyes shut, “please ‘zuku, need to feel you.”
“I know bunny, I know.” He watches his fingers disappear and reappear as he thrusts them in and out of your core, “M’gonna give it to you, promise baby.” He flashes you a sheepish grin, pulling his fingers from you.
Popping them past his own lips, he suckles the juices off, “Want a taste?” He leans in, placing a sweet kiss on your lips, you oblige, tasting yourself.
“Good girl, you’re so sweet.” You keen at the smallest bit of praise.
Izuku hovers over you now, shoving his pants and boxers down. You peek down, catching a glimpse of his aching cock. Pre cum dribbling out of the tip, making it glisten.
“I can’t wait anymore,” His eyes flash up to meet yours, “M’sorry baby, I just need you.” He sighs and you nod.
“Please, please ‘zuku.” You mewl, pulling him in by his shoulders. Though your strength is no match for his, he still allows you to pull him closer, his green curls tickling your cheek as you nudge your way into his neck.
“M’ gonna give it to you baby, gonna stuff you full.” He babbles, lazily lining himself up with your entrance before easing in. You let out a whine at the stretch, “S’tight, I know baby.” Izuku grits his teeth slightly, easing into you more. You can’t help but whine, taking time to adjust.
“Gotta let me prep you more next time, fuck.” Hips rock slowly as he attempts to move. After you adjust, he’s finally able to move steadily, setting a pace as he thrusts into you.
“I missed you so much.” You whine, tears pricking your eyes.
“Don’t cry, I’m right here.” Izuku leans down, peppering kisses across your face, “I missed you too bunny, it’s okay.”
Hands wander your body, finally landing on your thighs. Pulling at one of them, izuku wraps your leg around him, pressing into you deeper.
You keen, a wanton moan leaving your lips, the new angle allowing you to feel even more. His hips bump against yours clumsily as he thrusts into you. Kisses trail down your cheek and to your neck. Izuku sucks softly on your neck, surely leaving a mark.
“M’sorry bunny.” He mutters so quietly you almost don’t hear, “M’sorry I haven’t been giving you attention.” His pace quickens and you feel wetness covering your neck. Your fingers tangle in his mess of curls, softly lifting his head to look at him.
When your eyes meet, his are nearly bloodshot, tears in the corners of them. “M’sorry,” He croaks, “Love you so much, M’gonna show you, don’t worry.” He whines softly, rolling his hips into yours.
You can’t help but moan, letting out a gasp as his tip brushes that special spot inside of you, “ah, please ‘zuku. Please show me.” You whine, wrapping your legs around his waist, hoping to pull him closer, “please.” You insist.
Izuku grips your thighs, fingers digging into the supple skin as he holds onto them for support, ramming into you at this point, desperate to please you, make you feel better, take away all of your pain.
His cock bullies your cervix, pressing against your sweet spot over and over again and he pistons into you, “M’close bunny, are you close?” He groans out, taking his bottom lip between his teeth.
All you can do is nod, letting out a string of moans and babbles about how close you are. He continues his quick pace, eyes darting down to where the two of you are connected. He watches his cock disappear inside of you, a ring of your arousal covering the base of his cock. His mouth nearly waters at the sight, the imagery only egging him on further.
“Bunny please, let me cum inside, please.” He whines, leaning down to bury his head in the crook of your neck, lips attacking the sensitive area, “Cum with me, wanna feel you cum on my cock, need to.” He babbles as he chases his high, dragging you along with him.
You let out as gasp as he gives a particular hard thrust and soon enough you’re seeing white, your orgasm hitting you suddenly. “Please, Ah, please don’t stop ‘zuku, wanna feel you cum inside of me.” Moans and whimpers leave your lips as he continues thrusting, his pace flattering, movements becoming sloppy.
“Oh my god, bunny, I love you. Love you so much, ah fuck.” Words string together as he chases his high, finally reaching it after a few more thrusts. With a loud groan, he empties himself inside of you.
Chests heave as you both attempt to recover and catch your breath. Izuku slowly eases out of you, laying down beside you. You can’t help but nuzzle into his chest, enjoying the intimacy of the moment, enough the comfortable silence.
After a few minutes, Izuku shifts around, finally speaking up.
“How about I run a bath for us? How does that sound, sweetheart?” His voice is soft, just above a whisper at this point.
You softly nod your head, worried your words may get away from you if you try to speak.
“Wait here for me, okay?” Izuku slowly rises from the bed, disappearing in the bathroom. Even in your exhausted state, you can hear the tap turning on and the sound of water splashing as the tub fills.
You gently move the blankets away, pushing yourself out of bed. A soft gasp leaves your lips as your feet touch the floor, the hardwood cool against your soles. You softly pad towards the bathroom, looming in the doorway as you peek at izuku drawing the bath for you.
Your eyes are trained on his bare back as he adjusts thing, placing a pair of towels on the counter. Your eyes linger on the little freckles that cover his bare skin, secretly drawing constellations with the patterns in your mind.
Green hair flops as his eyes meet yours, “Oh bunny, I was going to come get you, you didn’t have to get up.” A soft smile covers his lips as he reaches towards you, extending his hand.
“S'okay.” You mutter, taking his hand.
Chests collide as he pulls you near, placing a sweet kiss on your temple. Fingers intertwined as you rest there for a moment, his heartbeat the only sound filling your ears.
“I love you, y/n.”
“I love you too, Izuku.”
#izuku ꨄ#izuku x reader#izuku midoriya x you#izuku smut#izuku x you#izuku x y/n#deku x reader#deku x you#deku smut#mha smut#bnha smut#tw: hurt#tw: comfort#tw: praise kink#tw: smut#tw: crying#tw: breeding
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Uzui’s Fourth Wife : Part 3
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You couldn't even remember how many times you sent your crow out to try to find any sign of Riku and give him letter after letter you wrote but all returning back to you. You also sent your crow out to observe the land to warn you if Uzui was coming back. Weeks turned to months passing since you saw either of the men, your parents becoming more irritated with having to hold off any planning of the wedding and even setting a date. You felt your days went by so slow but tried your best to admire the things around you in your village like weddings, babies being born, which meant new portraits to be made. You loved creating things people would love so you tried to focus on that as the days dragged along.
The cold nights of winter now coming, you began to miss the feeling of Riku's warm hands caressing your body as you slept. Your parents would be Infuriated if they ever caught Riku sleeping next to you but he didn't care of being caught he just wanted to be by your side. As you laid awake feeling the breeze hit your arm you felt the hair on your arms stand as you shivered and tried to bury yourself under the blankets and imagine that Riku was again by your side. You let your mind run wild hoping he was ok and didn't do anything stupid or got himself killed. He may have been patient with you but he was a real hot head when it came to other things. He left in such a hurry that day you couldn't even try to run away with him.
Fully under your covers and curling up into a ball to try to produce more heat suddenly you felt a weight on you that was familiar. "Shivering like you're going to freeze to death like always huh y/n" Riku cooded into your ear. You froze, you wanted to unwrap yourself and jump into his arms but you stayed where you were as the tears welled up in your eyes and began spilling out as you tried to not sniffle. In the time Riku knew you, he saw you cry quite often and he hated seeing you that way. He swore he'd never let someone make you cry or he'd never make you cry saying he would always take the pain away. He took your sign of silence with slight sniffles that even you couldn't hide from his exceptional hearing as an indication that you weren't going to talk to him right away.
Grabbing your body and hugging you tightly, sitting you into his lap as he rubbed your head. Putting strands of hair behind your ears so he could get a good look at your now puffy and red eyes as he wiped tears away. "I hate seeing you like this, I meant everything I said the last time I saw you. If we weren't interrupted I would've grabbed you and left this place". Facing his chest with your head before putting your face against him. Your warm breath causing him to sigh. "Why can't we go now?" You managed to get out as the words hitched in your throat. Holding you at arms length Riku just stares at you. "Taking a women away from a proposed marriage would not reflect my clan well. If I had met you sooner then I wouldn't reject your idea of running away with me. Marrying Tengen can't be that horrible, his other wives look very happy and lively Y/n. I came to say Goodbye for the last time and properly" He said.
Dropping your head as you stared into the dark, mind spiraling at his last sentence echoed in your head. He took you from his lap and placed you down onto the floor sitting on your knees as you placed your palms onto the floor to hold you steady. You felt sick as you felt his eyes on you. Not wanting to look up your body seemed to move on it's own as you brought yourself up from your knees and in and instant tackled him onto his back. Straddling him as you held his hands above his head a devious smirk grew on his face. "Oh sweets you know you aren't stronger than me" Riku said before flipping you onto your back as he hovered over your body.
Leaning closer and closer into your face as you stared up into his eyes that you could always stare into and get lost. "Goodbye y/n" he said in a low voice before softly kissing your lips. Trying to reach your hands up to grab his face to pull him into another he gripped tighter making you slightly whence. Just as fast as the kiss ended he was gone. Feeling your eyes grow heavy, you tried to fight it off but when you next awoke it was morning. You thought to yourself maybe it was just a dream wanting to ignore the slight pain in your wrists knowing it wasn't just a dream and that he was gone. Probably never to return.
Feeling like you were about to start crying your crow began to squak "Uzui, Returned. Greeting your parents now". Petting your crow on their head as you cleaned your room up, folding the blankets and putting them inside your closet. Knowing you were finally defeated in your attempt to get away from Uzui by running off with Riku, you played the part your mother so badly wanted you to be. You put on the outfit your mother demanded to wear the next time you would see Uzui and sat in the middle of your room on your knees waiting for the dreaded knock. When it finally came, you slightly flinched and bowed your head as a form of greeting but instead of a verbal greeting you were met with Tengen's sudden embrace. As you felt his tense body become soft like putty in your hands.
He held you at arms length when he was done with his unsuspecting hug. That's when you finally got a good look at him, his hair down ruffled and headband loosely hanging from his neck as his uniform was torn in several spots. "What happened to your uniform, Lord Tengen?" You asked, raising a brow at the man who was presenting himself in a less flashy manner than before and a lot more touchy for a man that isn't your husband just yet. "Lose the formality, we're equals so no need for lord or anything. I will accept pet names though" he said releasing his hold he had on your arms.
"I had a somewhat rough mission with the wives. We are lucky we made it alive. I have them at the butterfly estate recovering and I was there too but when I was laying there I couldn't help but feel guilty that I left you here again. I do not have any missions to attend to. I have asked your parents if I am allowed to spend these next few weeks with you so you and I can get to know one another. Is that alright?" He said, scanning your face for a reaction. "Yes that is fine, I will set up the guest room for you" you said. The man frowning before you "well your parents would like me to sleep in here with you. They said it'll make us feel closer to one another. If you don't like the idea we can set up my futon away from yours" Uzui said holding your hand in his as he traced circles on it with his thumb. Nodding your head as you didn't feel like the response you wanted to have would be appropriate with knowing your parents were most definitely listening in on this conversation.
Putting his forehead to yours "I know you don't like me now but I hope you grow to. I do want you to be my wife and I promise I will worship you even if you don't feel the same about me. You've never left my mind and I never forgot about you. I'm sorry I took so long to come back for you but at the end of these next few weeks we will wed and I'll take you with me." He said, he pulled away looking at you with the most sincere look. You were so numb to Riku's last visit to you that anything about this just went over your head. You figured that If this would be your life then you better just accept it and play the role your mom made you learn. "I will draw you a bath, you should rest. I'm sure your travel here was long and taxing on your body." You said getting up and walking to the door before sliding it open you could hear the patter of feet leaving.
Setting up the bath you entered your room once more to tell Uzui that it was ready. The sight before you, causing your face to redden as you put your head down. "Excuse me, I should've knocked before entering" you embarrassingly said. He stood there shirt off and was in the middle of taking his pants off. Sensing your embarrassment he made haste to get to the bathroom to take the rest off but not before he whispered in your ear "One day I'll let you see more".
Grabbing his tattered uniform you took out your sewing needle and thread to try your best to repair it. Pricking your finger sometimes but you got it done. You set up a futon for him once he came back to the room when he was done with his bath. You put the shirt in the laundry and told your parents you would return soon and to let Uzui know if he asked for you.
Walking the village and to the Kimono stall you knew he would need a wardrobe to wear and not his uniform. You picked out several of the flashiest Kimonos they had. Once you were finished you decided that since you were out you'd go and eat at one of the food stalls that Riku would always eat at. Sitting down and placing your bags on the seat beside you, you looked around in hope of maybe seeing Riku around but he wasn't. The man came to serve you the food and looked at you puzzled "No Lord Riku today?" He said. The pain in your chest forming from the question you looked up with a smile on your face "not today, just me. Thank you sir." You said. Finishing up your food you had the man pack up whatever you didn't eat so you could bring it home to Uzui.
Upon your arrival your parents were nowhere to be seen. Walking down the hall to your room you made sure to knock on the door before entering your room but no response. Sliding it open to a sleeping Uzui, you had to admit he did look cute. Putting his Kimonos in the other side of your closet you set up your futon as you felt drained too and decided rest would be nice. After changing into your nighttime attire you laid down and tried your best to sleep which turned out being easier than you thought. The night was cold again as your body began to shiver and teeth chattering. Uzui woke up to see your shivering body, getting up and seeing the closet stocked with clothing for him he smiled. Pulling his futon beside yours he laid back down and put his blanket overtop you as he spooned your body close to him hoping his heat would warm you soon.
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4
Masterlist
#uzui fluff#uzui enemies to lovers#uzui x you#uzui tengen x reader#uzui tengen x you#uzui tengen x y/n#tengen uzui#uzui x y/n#uzui x reader#uzui 18+#Tengen uzui 18+#demon slayer smut#demon slayer fluff#demon slayer#demon slayer fic#Uzui Tengen fic#oc x reader smut#oc x reader#uzui smut#Tengen uzui smut#Uzui Tengen angst#tengen angst#Uzui angst#uzuisfourthwife#uzui’s fourth wife
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