#because jesus | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

pedgito · 1 year

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He likes 🌽 of women being eaten out in different situations and positions. I’d say that’s 50% of his watchlist. The person doing it is so good they can’t help themselves but make whiny noises before they come. “You like that don’t you. Feels good doesn’t it, you like it just like that? You gonna cum for me?” He’d whisper while he watches it, imagining it’s himself making them feel that way. He likes to cum just as their cunt pulsates, gushing on whoever’s eating them out.

He’d prob like seeing two girls going at it. Kissing, feeling each other up, sucking on each other’s tits, tasting each other, one going down on the other and making her quake.

Ngl he’s prob dabbled in cheerleader porn too. I think it’s kind of a taboo thing for him bc he’s so low on the totem pole, for them to fuck around with him and for him to fuck around with them IS almost taboo. Dirty. Forbidden. Flipping their skirts up and sinking into them. Pushing their tops up to reveal their tits, bringing a nipple into his mouth and sucking. Fucking them in various positions, them whining and crying on his cock because he feels so good. Moaning his name over and over again, “god Eddie you feel so good”. Maybe they’re even doing it at the school and almost get caught. “yeah you didn’t think I could make you feel this good did you?” Before they gush on his cock.

I bet he’s occasionally had fantasies where one of them corners him, calling him a freak. He’d tell them to stop and to fuck off, they’d sneer and ask if he wanted them to stop, then why is he hard, feeling the bulge in his pants. Then they’d push him down, teasing him, unzipping his pants, and riding him while he whimpers beneath them.

Or he’d fantasies that they’re partnered up to study, and they’re feeling so hot and horny they’d confess their love for him and beg him to take them on their bed.

He’d also probably like amateur looking porn as well. Porn that looks like it was just made by a normal couple at home, making each other feel good in their bed.

I think he’d also dabble in some light bondage too. Just one of them being tied up to the bedpost. Sometimes it’s him that’s tied up and sometimes it’s the other person. Begging for more, because the person is teasing them, or for less, because it’s too much, depending on the situation.

the way my jaw dropped as i was reading this, this is so spot on bless you. i could read a full 10k fic of just eddie munson's porn habits.

#unless i end up writing this shit myself #because jesus #anon #answered #eddie munson smut #eddie munson

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the-raging-tempest · 2 months

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Stares into the camera: I keep forgetting that when they say "reach adulthood" when talking about fantasy races they mean a humans 15 not like 18-20... At 20 years old a half elf is a 15 years old human equivalent? I think I need to age the twins up again....

#my hamster wheel #dies instantly #fantasy race ages my beloathed #making the twins older again probably...#because jesus #I remember originally making Lariel like 21 so that's... too baby #now they are 25... but even that seems so young...#goes to get a calculator to do the math to find out what the fuck how old they are #realizing they should be in their thirties LMAO

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gretavanfleetposts · 1 year

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Even pinterest wants me to write a Sam fic

#because Jesus #attacked #sam kiszka #gvf

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psychedelic-ink · 1 year

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SIB enthusiasts the smut for the next chapter is ending up being delightfully filthy 😈

#sil talks.🎤#stay in bed update #you have my uterus to thank for that #because jesus #im suprised with what im putting into the doc rn

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backjustforberena · 2 years

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Serena Campbell & Cameron Dunn in “Mother And Their Daughters”

#watch as i reblog this instantly with meta #because JESUS #this scene #me and a friend have been talking about it #so this is for them #holby city #serena campbell #catherine russell #MASTERCLASS

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wat-zu · 2 years

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??

DAYYUUUM????!!?

#I AINT GON SAY NOTHING BUT GODDAYUUM #I might go on a rant abt that holy fucking shit #Unpopular opinion but id like to know which of alan's animators did which scenes #Because jesus #My love for stickman animations has grown tenfold

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quininhas · 1 year

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Oh these refs.... not good.

#i won't complain about ours anymore #because jesus #world cup 2022

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areyouscaredyet · 2 months

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im not particularly religious but i think it’s very cute that Trans Day of Visibility and Easter are on the same day this year :)

its no question that something like this could be triggering or upsetting to a number of queer ppl given the current sociopolitical climate, so i want everyone to remember that u are loved! Regardless of what u or others believe, there are ppl who will love and support you always. Give yourself patience and treat yourself with care!!!

happy and peaceful TDOV everyone!! And Easter to those who celebrate :D

#sorry for treating Jesus like an anime character #trans day of visibility #tdov #easter #Jesus is actually very fun to draw #I have no idea how to tag this because what do I even say #lgbtqia #religion #Jesus #christianity #christian imagery #sorry for all the tags I just wanna make sure ppl can filter this if they don’t wanna see it lol #i drawd this

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jaythelay · 2 months

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Played all the possible versions of RE4 and I have never, in my life, been deflated, upset, and frustrated by it. Ever.

What a fucking "remake"

#resident evil 4 remake #Y'know I had this “copy” for so long and put it off for SO damn long because I just...#knew it was only going to be like this #I knew it was going to betray my trust at some point #it's Crapcom #I knew it was going to fuck something stupid simple up that not ONE soul expected #I just #knew it was going to hurt #and I'm tired of modern games going out of their way to hurt you y'know?#Like of course it's all media I'm not long-term hurt but in terms of enjoying the art and being a consumer?#this was more than insulting #it was telling #anytime a publisher forces it's devs to make a good game Initially but then crunch the fuck out of them when the demo/refund period ends?#Crapcom #it's not the early 2000s anymore #RE4 was already WAY too long to combat renting as it is #it was still #a good game entirely throughout #leave it to crapcom to make a worse version of a game that's 20 years old #embarrassing #embarrassing this trend is still present in the digital era #literally as much money #as humanly possible #thank god for piracy #thank fuck for never supporting companies ever #because jesus #this would've put me OUT #expensive piece of shit #it's pathetic how much cheaper it is anymore to buy a PS2 and some games vs a modern title

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noknowshame · 1 year

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why is religious Christmas imagery all so joyful and pleasant? where is the inherent horror of the birth of Christ? A mother is handed her newborn child, wailing and innocent. Her hands come away sticky. Red. Simply by giving her son life she has already killed him. He is doomed from the beginning. Her love will not save him from suffering. Because the thing cradled in her arms is not a baby, it is a sacrifice: born amongst the other bleating animals whose blood will one day be spilled in the name of what demands it. the night is silent with anticipation. Mary, did you know? That your womb was also a grave?

#instant conversation enders for my multiple youth pastor cousins #don’t say it (I’m gonna say it)#The Child is The Price #but i mean come on #as someone who isn't actually even christian the real-life historical version of this is still cursed as fuck #i mean we know that jesus was a person who existed. whatever circumstances he was born in #its terrifyingly ominous to imagine being so unaware of the affect your child will have on the future of humanity #time itself will one day be counted around your birth of him #and all because he will suffer an excruciatingly painful death that you will not be able to prevent #not only that. but regardless of his or your intentions #regardless of whether there is a god #for millenea unfathomable millions will have blood spilled and will spill blood in his name #atrocities will be committed that you cannot even conceive of #and all on his and your behalf #you love your child. its beautiful. but there's horror in what you've done. because everyone else will love him too #and what's more dangerous than that?

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sidhewrites · 11 days

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Being kink positive makes it really hard to be a hater of media rip. I used to love watching “the WORST book I’ve read this year” booktube videos but now its like I hear them ask, “Who is this werewolf smut even for?” Omegaverse fans, next question. “Why would you write this?” Because they find it sexy, can we stop focusing on the ewie yucky kink part and focus on the fact that the author used the word knot five times in a single scene? It’s bad werewolf erotica, but it’s not bad because it’s werewolf erotica like come on

#text post #I’m cranky because I want to be a hater but so many people are just dumb #“who did you write this for?’ themselves? obviously???? jesus #negativity #1k #2k #3k #4K #5k #10k

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dduane · 1 year

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...Just read this thread. JUST READ IT.

#because I honestly don't think I'll find a better phrase today #than #JESUS LUPITA NYONG'O CHRIST #US politics #contains much edifying slang #and also gifs #as well as shit you will not believe #sweet Powers that Be in their holy Bucket

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locallibrarylover · 8 months

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*by live theatre i mean plays, musicals, operas, ballets, concert versions of musicals, staged readings, & things of that nature. EDIT: YES this includes amateur, local, kids, high school, & community theatre. almost every show i've seen has been local

if you want, list the names of the shows you've seen in the tags!

#(if you saw this before no you didnt. i wanted to add more options)#anyways! very curious about how much live theatre people on here see.#personally i've 22 shows? those being: sleeping beauty (ballet). mary poppins. the lion king. the sound of music. once on this island.#little shop of horrors. mamma mia! chess. annie. music man jr. jesus christ superstar. joseph and the amazing technicolor dreamcoat.#something rotten! sam's room. the blender. bad auditions by bad actors. the 10 worst breakups of all time. drugs are bad. fairy tale court.#peter and the starcatcher. a christmas carol. & robin hood! all of those have been local/community except lion king ^_^#(yes i also redid this because i forgot about robin hood & sleeping beauty...)#musings

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pearwaldorf · 6 months

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I hate that you can't see a tweet thread anymore if you're not logged into Twitter (as a gesture of disrespect I refuse to call it by its rebranded name). Here is a copypasta of a thread from Dan Olson, a Canadian documentary filmmaker, expanding upon camera quality, the guilt trips Somerton used to goose his Patreon subscriptions, and how the best tools will never make up for lack of dedication or patience. I have added clarifications in [[double brackets]] where I feel it is necessary.

START OF THREAD

Okay, so, back in April I snapped at James in reply to a tweet that was linking to this video (which James has since delisted but not deleted) and I want to talk about the full context of that but I don't want to make a video, put your beatdown memes away. [[The video has since been deleted. I can see the title of the video is "Maybe the end (not an April Fool's Day thing".]]

The first bit of context is that I initially got keyed into James to fact-check his claims about indie filmmaking in Canada. As a filmmaker the entire Telos venture was immediately obvious as a juvenile fantasy dreamed up by someone with no idea how to make a movie.

Just wild claims about their plans that weren't worth debunking because they bordered Not Even Wrong. But in watching one of these pitch videos I noticed that he had a $4000 current-gen camera in the background as a prop, and that seemed both pretentious and weird.

You don't use your best camera as a prop, you use your second best camera as a prop. So being an obsessive weirdo I needed to know, and I watched his BTS stuff until I spotted his main rig, a $6000 camera with about $1000 in accessories.

Now, these in isolation are unremarkable because his Patreon at the time was bringing in ~$8000 per month, his channel was a full on Business business, and so investing in some professional equipment of that level is maybe a bit indulgent but justifiable.

What was weird is that he doesn't shoot multi-cam, doesn't shoot outdoors, doesn't shoot on location, and in a studio the two cameras kinda really step on each others' toes. Basically if you already have one and don't need a B cam there's no reason to get the other.

Again, on its own, this says nothing, it's just indicative of poor financial decisions, maybe impulsive purchasing, Gear Acquisition Syndrome. Biblical sins, but not crimes.

Paired with the constantly inflating fantasy scope of the Telos films it was clearly an expression of a very, very common bad filmmaker habit of "if I just get the right gear then my movie will basically make itself" Buying stuff because it feels like progress.

At the end of February he tweets "I want to start shooting anamorphic" and then three weeks later in March he posts the worst, out of focus, under-exposed "I just got a new lens!" video I've ever seen, showing off his trash-covered bedroom.

Based on what's available for his cameras and the lead time, that's enough time to get a Laowa Nanomorph or Sirui Saturn from B&H but not enough time to get a Great Joy from the UK or a Vazen from China. And with the flaring blah blah blah, $1300 lens.

Again, [gear acquisition syndrome] is not a crime and these lenses are budget options. Bit of a pointless impulse purchase since he only used it for the Showgirls video. But this is what he was doing just a few weeks before that above video came out: effortlessly impulse purchasing lenses.

James has (had?) a habit of regularly, aggressively driving viewers to Patreon by claiming that videos were getting demonetized. While tacky, it is something a lot of queer YouTubers have dealt with, so there's precedent there. But people were noticing he did it a lot.

Mid-March he humble brags about needing to work so hard to make 6 videos in April because he has over-booked sponsorships.

Then March 29th James posts this whole incel screed on Twitter about how sex work should be "subsidized as a mental health service."

[two image descriptions.

1. "For the majority of people sex (and human contact) can be imperative to a healthy state of mind. A kind and talented sex worker can make someone feel wanted for the first time in their life. I know sex workers who have pulled people back from suicide just by being there for them." 2. "Not only should (sex work) be legal, but it should be subsidized as a mental health service."]

He spends several days getting absolutely *roasted* for this, just dragged across the pavement and read for filth, and doubles down in the replies the whole way.

So this is the context immediately surrounding James waking up on Friday, and posts the above video and the below tweet.

[image description: "We just got the lowest Patreon payout we've gotten in well over a year. Like, a "maybe we need to rethink things" kind of amount... NOT an April Fools Day thing btw. But I don't know if we'll be making videos much longer."]

Now, this unfolds in kinda two directions. The first is that I'm convinced he was just lying about this income shock in the first place.

There's a million theoretical edge cases about what maybe happened and if maybe he just misunderstood the data or saw a glitch and panicked, maybe one of those happened, I don't believe it, I think he just lied because he was salty about getting dragged and felt owed a win.

A big tell to me is that he doesn't blame Patreon. He says he doesn't know what happened, but let's be real, Patreon screws up all the time, they're the first people anyone blames if anything confusing happens, just as a reflex action, even if it's completely not their fault.

The only reason to not blame Patreon is if you already know that it's not their fault and that any investigation on their part might reveal embarrassing details.

Instead he indirectly blames his viewers for not watching enough, not sharing enough, and not turning on auto-renew.

So regardless of the unknowable truth, this segues into the second, far more offensive direction of the messaging itself. "I don't know if we'll be making videos much longer." "Maybe the end" He explicitly framed this as an immediate existential threat to his channel.

In the video he is vague about everything, leaves a ton of hazy room for plausible deniability on how long the channel can keep going, but the messaging is "I need more patrons right this minute or my YouTube channel is over."

He repeatedly evokes all the "fun stuff" they had planned that would never see the light of day if this didn't turn around right away.

And his audience received this message loud and clear. Tons of people making far, far, far less than him left very heartfelt messages about digging a little deeper to subscribe or up their pledge or unsubscribe from other channels to move their pledge to his.

1200 new patrons in one day.

Since I simply don't believe the income shock was real in the first place that would put his post-"Maybe the end" Patreon income at around $10,000 per month. US. Add YouTube income, he's spent the last seven months making around $18,000 per month.

I have seen creators scale back their capabilities to the bone purely to keep making videos for the love of just, like, making stuff even as their funding evaporated and they needed to go back to a desk job to cover their bills.

You'd have to be so outstandingly reckless with your finances as a channel that a one month spook leads immediately to "channel over, sorry about all the fun stuff we won't get to do with you, our patrons, specifically because you, our patrons, aren't giving us enough money"

And not a spook where you then spend a couple weeks crunching numbers. Oh no. A shock so violent where less than two hours later you're weeping on camera about the channel being over.

Three weeks later he brought a brand new Sony FX6v for $8000 CAD to add to his pile of cinema cameras despite the fact that he was, but scant moments earlier, in such a precarious position that a single bad month would kill his channel.

He stole your money, and for that I'm profoundly sad and angry. That's why I snapped at him in April. I'm sorry I couldn't give you the full context then, and I'm sorry if that anger upset you.

END OF THREAD

#james somerton #dan olson #hbomberguy #jesus christ tumblr #it won't let me format things the way i want #because this website is sometimes a piece of shit

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p4nishers · 8 months

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i cant get over the ball being so CLEARLY all for crowley i can't get over aziraphale trying to woo him with a WHOLE FUCKING BALL because that's what he knows that's what romance IS for him because he's been wanting to dance with crowley ever since dancing was invented and he's so stuck in time with the way he dresses and talks and he still thinks a dance is the high of romance AND HE MADE A WHOLE ENTIRE FUCKING BALL FOR CROWLEY JUST SO HE COULD DANCE WITH HIM like now it's so fucking obvious he gave away his BOOKS without a second thought and it was all for crowley he organised a whole JANE AUSTEN THEME BALL just so he could have an excuse to finally dance with the love of his life and i can't get over this i'm shaking my fists and pacing up and down he did not give a single fuck about anything other than dancing with crowley and HE BARELY TOUCHED OTHER PEOPLE'S HANDS WHILE HIS WHOLE FUCKING PALM WAS PRESSED TO CROWLEY'S AND i need to lie down

#im actually not okay im never getting over this #this was actually the most romantic thing to ever happen on television prove me wrong you can't #no because he spent CENTURIES reading about and witnessing and orchestring romances and he's been wanting to living in them WITH CROWLEY al #this fucking time and crowley rescuing his books was the most romantic thing that ever happened to him and in return HE GAVE AWAY THE BOOKS #HE LOVES SO FUCKING MUCH FOR CROWLEY AND OH GOD OH JESUS #how am i still not normal about this show im literally box breathing and my heart is fucking POUNDING from a SHOW i cant i just cant #i need psychiatric help #good omens #good omens s2 #azicrow #crowley #aziraphale #aziracrow #ineffable spouses #good omens season 2 #ineffable husbands #go s2

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junipers-insects · 3 months

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The next logical step after drawing them all in dresses

(edit: I swear if one more person says anything about horror I'm deleting this)

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