#because it’s admitting that things are wrong and that she can’t solve everything
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flood
ever think about how willa has had multiple near drowning experiences, more than any other keeper except maybe finn, while having the biggest connection to water? this is unedited and unfinished, mostly to get my thoughts on paper. willa’s such an interesting character and i think she’s been wasted throughout canon
She’s grown up in the water. Cliched, yes, but true.
They don’t travel much when she’s little, especially by the time her youngest brother is born. Two teachers' salaries doesn’t account for much, especially not with five kids needing taken care of.
Besides, they live in Orlando and shell out an alarming amount of money every year for resident passes to Disney and Universal and Bush Gardens and the dozens of other theme parks that call Orlando home. What more could they really want to do?
And then her dad is paralyzed, and suddenly vacations don’t seem that important, anyway.
So she trudges down to the community pool, holding her older brother’s hand and then later her younger’s, dollar fifty flip-flops slapping against the hot pavement, a pair of her mom’s old sunglasses slipping down her nose, smelling like SPF 70. She is eight and a half and her brothers still call her Izzy because Izzy Peterson hasn’t joined her class and made her need to pick a new nickname because now there are five Isabell/Isabellas in her small third-grade class and there can’t be two Izzys and the kids make fun of her when she goes by Isabella so she needs to think of something new, mom.
The pool is always busy; dozens of children all with varying degrees of sunburn running around, splashing and planning elaborate games with rules that change on a whim.
Willa doesn’t run. A sign says not to and that is that in her mind.
She does, however, play elaborate games. Always the ones Michael came up with because he is the oldest and he gets to pick. He usually wants to play pirates and have Willa swim around to avoid being kidnapped because “pirates kidnapped girls and you’re the only one, Izzy”.
Sometimes Michael stays home because he’s twelve now and doesn’t want to hang out with babies so Philip, being the next oldest, gets to pick the game. And sometimes she meets someone new, some other little girl who lives in the neighborhood that she’s never seen before and likely never will again who’ll play mermaids with her and thinks her blue tail and magic manatee sidekick is cool, not lame like Michale says.
They all take swim lessons too, but Willa is the only one who likes them. She’s trying to convince her parents to pay the extra money for a better school, better coach; more lessons because she’s just learned what the Olympics are and they seem so cool, to swim with all those people, but then a drunk driver slams into her dad’s Honda and well.
Hospital bills trump extracurriculars, apparently.
She spends so much time in the water that the idea of being afraid of any of it is laughable. The idea that there are people who actively avoid water, that live states away from the closest ocean, and are fine with that is so utterly baffling to her. Sure, she isn’t about to jump in the nearest lake because there are alligators and water snakes and probably some brain-eating bacteria but the actual water isn’t bad. It’s comforting, most days.
And then she almost drowns.
Like, four separate times.
The first time, on Winnie the Pooh with Charlene she’s admittedly more worried about the impending electrocution than actually drowning. It’s probably what will kill them first, and god, is she really going to die with Charlene? Some girl she hardly knows and isn’t even sure she likes because they’ve only talked, like, five times?
But they pry the doors open, they live, and she takes the bus home, wrapped in a Mickey Mouse towel that had cost way too much for how thin it was, hair damp and curling on her shoulders, and tells her mom they got caught in a rainstorm but yes, she and her new friend had fun.
Overall it isn't very frightening of an experience after all is said and done. Sure, it’s worrying to know that the Overtakers aren’t going to hold back, not even during operating hours, but she certainly isn’t having nightmares about it.
And then it goes and becomes a semi-regular thing.
She is sinking in Echo Lake, murky water rippling with bullets and fluff floating above her, thinking, once more, this is how I die.
She is treading water in the Atlantic, trying to keep Charlene calm and listen to Finn and keep Maybeck in her line of sight while knowing there are needlefish swimming under her, and god, why does she watch so much Animal Planet because she knew exactly how dangerous they can be (needle sharp jaws that can pierce skin like butter; pose a greater risk of injury than sharks) and she isn’t physically drowning but God does it feel like she is.
She has just jumped off a cruise ship, and her hand is slipping away from Finn’s, and even if she doesn’t let go the ship is moving so fast they are going to get pulled under the hull and they are going to drown.
But Ariel shows up.
But Triton helps.
And then he helps again.
And she is left wet, and cold, with damp hair and a sore throat from coughing up lungs full of water but she doesn’t die. She hardly ever has bruises.
And in between it all she still has swim team, still takes her younger brothers to the neighborhood pool, and picks the games they played because Michael and Philip are away at college and she is the oldest now.
And most times the cool blanket of water was just as it’s always been, comforting and chlorinated, the sharp scent clinging to her skin in an oh-so-familiar way.
And then other times.
Other times it feels suffocating, frigidly cold and she’s so certain it’s going to pull her down, down, deep into murky darkness and this time there will be no magical intervention, just her and the tightness of her chest, the knowledge that this time she is going to drown, this time it is really going to happen, she is going to die.
She ends up seeing a therapist in her Freshman year of college, someone found for her by Disney who has to sign a bunch of NDAs and half the time looks at Willa as if she’s crazy, but she helps, a bit.
Sometimes she wakes up cold and wet from sweat, room unfamiliar and the snores of her roommate in her ear and has to think to remember where she is (Harvard, she’s at Harvard, and she isn’t drowning). She calls Charlene or Maybeck, both on the west coast, both two hours behind her and almost always still awake, insomnia and bad habits from worse days still in effect.
#first part is very much inspired by my nostalgia for florida summers#i think willa would have a strange relationship with feelings#brown girl who’s the only girl in her family#she’s insanely intelligent and knows more feminine traits like being emotional will make others respect her less in academic fields#she’s an older sister who has to put her own feelings aside to help her brothers#she’s dealing with an emotionally distant mom as one of her only female role models#and she’s under sonstanr public scrutiny because of her job#so while finn gets therapy and care very quickly i think she waits and puts it off#because it’s admitting that things are wrong and that she can’t solve everything#i think she’d go through quite a few therapists before she actually finds one that sticks because the idea of actually acknowledging#her feelings is scary#she’s kind and nice and loves fiercely and isn’t afraid to speak her mind#but the deeper feelings#the ptsd and guild would be harder#willa angelo#finn whitman#dell philby#terry maybeck#charlene turner#amanda lockhart#jessica lockhart#kingdom keepers#ridley pearson#disney headcanons#my wriring
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Story Quest drama
Does anyone else find it incredibly weird how many Genshin fans are upset with Paimon and Traveler after Furina’s quest? Like the way people are cherry picking certain parts of scenes and misrepresenting the situation is astounding. I’m not going to pretend Paimon and Traveler didn’t throw a couple jabs but for the majority of back of forth is just banter and the common bluntness they bring. In no way were they trying to gaslight or manipulate Furina.
Furina said she didn’t want to join on stage. Paimon asked if there were any exceptions, and Furina say she didn’t want to leave an out for herself. Hearing that, they immediately pivot the conversation to asking her if she knows anyone who could help. That is literally workshopping a problem 101 and constructive problem solving. I don’t get why people are painting that as pressuring. They heard her stance and seeked a solution that respected her decision and allowed them to continue trying to help their employer.
Furina punches down on herself by saying she didn’t know anyone because they were probably happy she was gone; to which one of the dialogue options boils down to “that’s not a good to assume” because it isn’t. Paimon’s next question was if she had any idea, which causes Furina to get agitated before immediately apologizing because once again, Paimon’s question wasn’t in any way trying to get Furina to buckle. The two of them are essentially checking of a mental list to see where they should go to try solve their commission. Paimon even clarifies this with her before they part ways and Paimon says “Oh well. We have to respect her decision”
Even when they get back to the guild, Paimon tells them for personal reasons, Furina can’t help; as well as clarifying the misconceptions the actress had about Furina being rude. In no way were the duo planning on circling back or involving Furina any further and only gets roped back in after getting caught spying. Furina herself admits she just started drawing lines in the sand without hearing the situation before trying to apologize, to which Paimon tells her everything is completely fine and nothing that just happened was taken personally. You could argue Furina didn’t have anything to apologize for and that’s fine, but even in game, nobody was expecting one and told her everything is fine.
Tiny rant but it’s a bit annoying how people are quick to clip certain dialogue to paint them negatively, while completely ignoring the parts Paimon and the Traveler actively tell Furina she shouldn’t be so hard on herself, it’s okay not to force things, and talking about how she’s finally free to live how she wants. But they want clip the part where Paimon said she first thought Furina was diva; a sane assumption to have after she tried immediately getting them arrested on a ridiculous charge for the sake of hyping the crowd. Was it a little rude? Yeah. Has Paimon never called it like she saw it? No. We’ve heard Kaveh’s backstory and both her and the traveler still went “You should really try and get your life together before something happens” because it’s the blunt yet honest truth. If isn’t Diluc, Klee, Xiao, Ayaka, Yoimiya, Dehya, or Collei, Paimon will find an issue. The others can do no wrong. 💀
Anyway, I just think it’s a bit ridiculous how some people acting. Especially when several weeks ago Furina and “girl failure” was always in the same sentence while people applauded Arlecchino for dragging someone when ultimately she also didn’t know dick about the situation and basically did a gymnastics performance the way she jumped to certain conclusions. I love that people love Furina, but let’s not get crazy now when two people choose to approach her in a casual dynamic instead of super gently and emphatically. If anything, Furina is getting the normal human experience of having people that actually hate her in Poisson, the troupe idolizing her, Neuvillette and Navia being sweet, and the Traveler and Paimon being casual friends.
You know what’s actually insane!? Shenhe talking about her dead family and backstory then the scene ends with Paimon saying “cut the chitchat. We’re trying to win a contest.” THAT was actually out of pocket. 💀
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Helloo here again to request another K.B fanfic where Kate purposely tries to get in an argument with Y/n so they would break up because she thought the king pin situation was getting a little too dangerous and she didnt want Y/n to be involved so she said harsh things to her till Y/n got really hurt and broke up with her but then Y/n still wanted to be friends with Kate so she kept bugging Kate till Kate stops ignoring Y/n again and they hang out with each other again and end up getting back together and Kate admits that she didnt mean everything and that it was all just to protect Y/n bcs she couldnt afford losing her and she also says she still really loves and cares for Y/n and always has bcs Kate realized nothing can or will separate her from Y/n?😊💜
Ooo can u pls make it really angsty to and fluffy in the end? Tysm!💜
(Hope it's not to much😅)
Fem R to btw Tyyy!
Lots of love!💜
🤍request!🤍
character: kate bishop x fem!reader
warnings: cussing, angst, arguing, kate being an ass with good intentions
a/n: ok i changed it around a little bit, but i tried my best on the arguing 😭 it hurt to write y’all but it was emotionally satisfying in a weird way too. anyway hope u enjoy!
“You know, it’s, uh… It comes with a price.”
“What does?”
“This life you wanna live. To really help people. I mean, try to help people, anyway. Comes with a lot of sacrifices. And some things you’ll lose… forever.”
When Kate texted you saying that she needed to talk, you weren’t sure what to think. And now, standing out in the freezing cold outside of your shared apartment, you still aren’t.
“What do you mean, ‘break up’?” you ask, watching Kate’s face fall. “We’ve been together for two years, I thought it was going really well. Did I do something wrong-“
She shakes her head immediately, instinctively dropping into Protective Girlfriend™️ mode.
“No, no, no, no, no no,” she says. You narrow your eyes.
“Then what’s going on? Why aren’t you being honest with me?” You take her hand. “I want to help you. I promise, whatever it is, we can figure it out together.”
Ouch. Right in the heart. Kate sighs, steeling her resolve as she realizes this is gonna be a lot harder than she anticipated.
“Why does it matter?” she demands, raising her voice. “Every time I look at you, my stomach just fucking drops. I can’t stand it. I can’t stand you. Whatever we had, it’s gone now.”
“Not everything can be solved by just ‘talking it out’, and I know that that’s hard for you to understand, but it’s true. I gave up on us months ago.” She forces each word out, hoping that you’ll break up with her quickly and she won’t have to spew more lies.
But instead of backing down, you fire back. “You’re still lying! Kate, what is going on?”
You know her too well. All of the late nights and early mornings, all of the movie nights and drives to nowhere built up. And now you know each other better than yourselves.
She knows what she needs to do, no matter how much it’s going to hurt.
“I’m not sure how much more obvious I can be, (Y/N), the signs are everywhere. I don’t love you anymore!”
You don’t reel back like they do in movies. You don’t flinch. You go deadly still, meeting the gaze of the woman you love, and you take a shaky breath.
“I hope whatever you’re doing all this-“ You gesture around. “-for is worth your efforts. Because I clearly wasn’t.” Your eyes flit over her form. “Goodbye, Kate.”
You hurry inside before the tears fall, leaving her alone in the cold. She nods in satisfaction, even if she’s emotionally wrecked now. She won. She came here to do one thing, and she accomplished that.
As Kate walks away, though, it still feels like she lost.
———————————————————————
After that night, you were what one would call a hot mess.
You were already on break from college, but you were moping around even more than usual over the past few days. To lift your spirits, you had tried nearly anything that took your mind away from your girlfriend.
So now, your apartment smelled like cookies (several plates of which were stashed away), there were several bags from your retail therapy trip, and the TV had only displayed Hallmark Christmas movies for the past 48 hours. Plus, all of Kate’s things had been shoved into a closet.
But every time you put a new baked good into the oven or ordered another cart of clothes, you thought about Kate. You couldn’t help it.
In all fairness, when you spend that much time around someone and abruptly stop seeing them, you’re bound to miss them. Even if they were a bit of an asshat to you. At least, that’s what you told yourself.
On one hand, Kate had been very forthcoming about what she thought of you. And it wasn’t nice. You winced every time you remembered her harsh words.
On the other hand, something was clearly going on. And even if that didn’t give her behavior a pass, it provided an explanation.
Plus, if something serious was going down, you wanted to help her, even just as a friend.
It’s four days later, on Christmas morning, when you finally cave.
‘Hey, it’s me’ you type before quickly deleting it.
“Of course it’s you, dipshit,” you mumble.
‘Hey, I know things kind of went to shit the other day but if you wanna hang out and talk sometime I’d be totally up for that :)’
You analyze the message. “Is that too passive? Maybe.” After a few minutes of back-and-forth, you shake your head decisively. “No, it’s fine, I’m just gonna send it.”
Taking a few breaths to hype yourself up, you hit send and immediately fling your phone away.
“Oh, god, that’s too cringey, why did I send that, she’s gonna think I’m some desperate loser. I bet she’s telling me to fuck off right now-“
Grabbing your phone, you pause. No response. But she read it.
“So we’re playing that game,” you chuckle. “Alright, Bishop. Let’s go.”
———————————————————————
At the Barton’s house, Kate is miserable. She already feels bad enough for deliberately arguing with you and saying all that shit, and now you’re reaching out.
Well, more like sending messages every two minutes that get increasingly more passive-aggressively polite.
Kate’s phone displays 174 messages from your contact. A ding.
175.
She groans from the bottom of her soul, flopping onto the couch as Lucky licks her hand.
Clint, being the perceptive Avenger/assassin he is, notices her very obvious wallowing.
“What’s wrong, kid?” he asks, not sure if he wants to hear the answer.
She pushes herself up. “Wait, you actually want to know?”
“Eh, not really.”
Laura gently elbows him as she grabs the shreds of wrapping paper from the floor to throw in the trash. “Clint…”
“Fine. Yes.”
“I started an argument with my girlfriend so she would break up with me and now she’s being too nice and asking to hang out this week and I don’t know what to do,” Kate sobs, burying her head into a throw pillow.
Clint holds up a hand. “Okay, slow down. Let’s start at the beginning. Why did you start a fight with her?”
Kate shrugs. “You said that this life came with sacrifices,” she reasons.
“And that correlates… How?”
“So I gave up something important so she wouldn’t get hurt.”
Clint thinks he might have an aneurysm right then and there. “Kate. Kate. What part of ‘This life comes with sacrifices’ equals ‘break up with your girlfriend’?”
She opens and closes her mouth a few times. “Well, it just sounded like you were talking about sacrificing a person… or something.”
“I have a wife and three kids! I meant your private life and your free time!” he exclaims.
Kate bolts up faster than Nathaniel Pietro Barton’s second namesake and grabs her phone.
“Oh my god, I have to apologize. I need flowers, and lights, and jewelry, and-“
“Calm down, kid,” Clint says. “First things first, you need a quick flight back home. I’ll call in a favor from Tony, I’m sure he can get you a quick flight.”
Ten minutes later, Kate’s packed up and ready to go, and a private jet is getting ready at the airport. After hugging the Barton family goodbye and wishing them a Merry Christmas, her and Clint scramble into the car and drive off.
They make it to the airport in record time, skipping security with a single flash of Clint’s ID.
“Alright, you better not screw this up,” he says.
She nods, bouncing on her heels. “Yeah. Yeah, I won’t. I’ve got this.” Jumping at the archer, she pulls him into a hug. “Okay, thanks so much gotta go, bye!”
———————————————————————
You gave up after three hours of messages, resorting to moping about. Some Christmas this was.
It’s 7:30 and pitch black outside when you hear a knock on your door. You pause before opening it, until you hear a familiar voice.
“Please open this! I don’t wanna drop your gifts- I mean my stuff!”
“Kate?” You fling open the door.
Your girlfriend (Ex? Whatever, technicalities) is carrying a bouquet of lily of the valleys and sprigs of holly, a jewelry box, and a disturbingly large bag of holiday foods.
“I just wanted to say that I’m really sorry, and I want to explain. You don’t have to take me back, just, please, hear me out?”
You don’t have the heart to turn her away, so you nod, stepping aside as she shuffles in.
She drops everything on the counter, sinking into the couch. You sit, keeping a bit of distance.
“You said you wanted to explain,” you begin, nodding to her. “So?”
Despite the jet lag, Kate rushes into the story.
“So, this is going to sound crazy, but I’ve spent the last six days with Clint fucking Barton- I know, insane.”
Your eyebrows raise. Her literal hero? Damn, so that’s what was going on with that giant arrow and the rumors of a second Hawkeye.
“And we were dealing with some pretty dangerous people. Mob bosses, mercs, Russian assassins, you know.”
You didn’t know.
“And… I thought if they figured out about our relationship, you’d be in danger. And I couldn’t let you get hurt from my mess.”
“I’m sorry I went about it the way I did. You were right, I should’ve just talked to you about it. I was just so… scared.”
You soften. Yes, she made a mistake. A big-ass mistake. But she made it from a place of worry and love. Smiling, you take her hand.
“I forgive you. I know you must’ve been worried, and everything must have been going so fast…” She begins to sniffle and you pull her into a hug. “You had good intentions, Kate. It’s alright now.”
She buries her face in your hair. “I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean any of the shit I said, I was just-“ Unable to manage more words, she just shakes her head.
You softly shh her, nodding in understanding.
“Does this mean I can stay here for a while?” she asks, voice shaking. “‘Cause I had to arrest my mom and I really don’t want to live with my stepdad after she framed him for murder and I tried to chop off his face.”
“Kate, baby,” you chuckle. “You’ve had a tough few days, huh?” She only groans. “Of course you can stay. What kind of girlfriend would I be if I kicked you out of our apartment?”
She jumps from your arms before you can react, wide-eyes and suddenly 12x more hyper.
“You’re taking me back?”
You nod, smiling at her antics. Without a pause, Kate scoops you up, spinning around in circles as you squeal. “Oh my god, thank you! I’ll never pull that shit again, (Y/N), I promise.”
“I know, I know,” you laugh as she slows, still holding you up. “I am making you do the dishes for two months, though.”
She leans in to kiss you. When you part, she shrugs. “I’ll gladly do all the dishes if it means you’re still my girlfriend.”
#marvel#marvel x reader#x reader#avengers x reader#avengers#hawkeye#kate bishop x fem!reader#kate bishop x female reader#kate bishop#kate bishop x reader#requests open#request
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Both Steven Universe and Army of the Doomstar have this interesting commonality where a protagonist panic proposes to a girl to escape horrors in their own life.
Steven and Connie were always just friends as far as the narrative ever explicitly stated, though you could always tell they may have crushes on each other and could end up romantically involved someday once they are in better places in their own lives as people. The thing is Steven panics because he’s losing control. He is changing in ways that scare him, the few humans he had in town have begun moving on and leaving and Connie will be next, he has survived immensely traumatic things nobody should have to experience especially as a child, and Connie is stability. He wants to be part of somebody, for him fusion and marriage, this idea of a white picket fence and this girl who makes him feel normal and grounded. So he panics and proposes and she obviously turns him down.
Army of the Doomstar is about the same situation. Abigail entered Nathan’s life when it began spiraling hard. He’s made choices that in the long run were correct, but personally fucked up his friendships that he doesn’t know how to repair without telling them things they won’t believe and find him insane. She represents a connection to normal life, a chance to get away from prophecies and ptsd and being forced to make decisions that could have an impact on humanity. He only proposes after collapsing and being admitted to the hospital and diagnosed with PTSD, it only happens when he gets out and is immediately reminded the world is ending and he needs to know how to save it. He proposes to her because she for him is an exit, for Nathan marriage and kids and the suburbs represents safety. The world can’t end if he gets married and denies destiny and creates his own path out of fear of losing everything.
I appreciate for starters that both Connie and Abigail not only deny the proposals, but are never shamed for it. The plot never acts like they did something wrong by stating a lack of interest like that, openly saying they know this isn’t what either guy wants and that this won’t solve things.
I also appreciate how uncomfortably embarrassing both scenes are like watching something you aren’t meant to yet can’t really look away from.
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Chapter 1: First Day
“Okay, Sunny, you can do that” the black haired-boy said to himself. Considering he said it nonchalantly, that scene looked more funny than sad.
He had just dressed himself, and packed his things for school. His godmother, who had already left for work, supplied him with all school materials necessary.
In theory, there was nothing he should be worried about. He had his basic supplies, a cellphone for communication, and a possible new “friend” to make him company.
But that theory wasn’t applied to him. School days were already hard for regular teenage boys, but for a boy who stood years without having proper classes, and barely left his room until last week, it was even worse.
He was afraid of meeting so many new people, of having to hide the fact he knew so little about most school subjects, and being somewhere where he had no escape to his fantasies when things go wrong.
However, he knew that he had no other options. Running away already cause enough problems to him… he needed to face this situation with his head up… well, metaphorically, because he was still having a hard time looking up at things.
With nothing left to do, he gave his new room one last glance, and left.
_______________________________________________
‘According to the map, the school is not far from here. So, no reason to take the bus’ he thought to himself.
Along the way, it seemed like there were many interesting places to go.
And, considering Sunny knew nothing about said places, he could take that chance to have his own adventures! He enjoyed adventuring himself in his own mind, so, why not doing it on the real world?
The first stop was an enormous market, that had a peculiar sign on it.
‘Everything Market: The Market that sells everything. Pretty bold on their part’ he thought to himself, while reading it on his mind.
Even though he doubted that the place could sell literally anything, it could be convenient on a near future. The next stop was a commercial center of clothes.
‘I really don’t need more clothes right now’
Most of the town ended up being mostly disappointing. He was expecting a lot more from this exploration.
But, then again, he was so used to how chaotic and surreal his dreamworld was, that most things on real life ended up being boring.
Now, he was at a park. He had to admit that the vision was quite beautiful and peaceful, but, at first glance, there was nothing special with it… or, at least, that was the case, until he saw a familiar cat like structure next to a sandbox for children to play.
It looked a lot like the one back on his beloved Faraway. He knew that he should let his mind wonder through this dangerous waters, but he was too weak to fight against that.
His imagination quickly filled the sandbox with his friends playing on the sandbox.
Aubrey and Kel were arguing about something, as usual, while Basil hid behind Hero, since he was scared that he would hurt in the process.
And Mari… she was safe and sound on a picnic towel, where she would never get hurt ever again…
At first, he felt content at the fake sight. Seeing all of them, so innocent, so happy and so alive was something that was priceless to him… but then, they started to look at him.
“Come play with us, Omori” Mari asked, with a bright smile on her face.
Just the mention of his alter-ego sent chill down the black-haired boy’s spine, but, it got worse.
“Come on, Mari, he can’t play with us, anymore. After all…” Aubrey stated while looking down.
“… he is a monster” she looked up, her eyes being replaced by an empty black void, and her mouth getting covered in blood.
As soon as she said that, the rest of the group turned into creepy figures, just like the small girl.
Sunny didn’t even think twice and started to run for his life as fast as possible.
It was his luck that there was no one else at the park to call him crazy, or dial 911.
‘I thought I had already solved all of this, why are they still here?!’
He decided to look behind, hoping that his chasers had given up, already. But, he was proven wrong, because the creatures were fast approaching him.
Sunny was running so fast that he managed to leave the park in mere seconds. He ended up passing through more places, like a café, but he didn’t pay attention, because his life was still at stake.
Believing that his ending had finally arrived, he closed his eyes and expected the worse to happen to him. That is, until he bumped into someone.
“Ouch!” a feminine voice said. When Sunny opened his eyes, he saw a girl with brown hair and green eyes (Candy/Lynn’s default colors) who was on the ground.
“Sorry!” he spoke in worry, helping the girl get up.
“No, no, it’s alright. I deserve it. I should have just woken up earlier” the girl said, while giggling at her own situation.
When she paid more attention to the boy, she noticed that he seemed tense.
“Is everything okay with you, though?” the girl asked, genuinely worried about him.
Before answering, he looked behind to see if he was still being followed. Fortunately for him, he was not.
“Was in a rush. My first day here” the raven-haired boy answered. The girl immediately connected the dots.
“Oh, so you are Sunny?! My aunt told me about you” the girl said excitedly.
Sunny blushed, a bit embarrassing at meeting his supposed new friend like this.
“Nice to meet you, my name is Lynn!” the brunette girl said, with a bright smile, while extending her hand.
Sunny was hesitant at first, but he shook it. Then, an awkward silence soon followed.
“What to do now?” the boy asked, unsure of what to do next. He only studied on one single school all his life, so, he had no idea of what to do in the first day.
“I was going to talk with the principal… wanna come with me?” Lynn asked. Sunny just nodded, and started to follow her.
_______________________________________________
The raven-haired boy was imagining that finding this principal would end up being hard, but, to his shock, she was close to the entrance, and with a badge written “Principal”.
“Oh, you both must be the new students. Welcome to Sweet Amoris! I hope you both feel at home quickly here” the elderly woman said in a happy tone.
“Thank you, Mrs. Me and Sunny are happy to be here too” Lynn said, and Sunny simply nodded with a serious expression.
“You both should talk to Nathaniel, the leader of the student body. He is in the council room, and can help you both with the registration forms” the principal suggested and pointed to the room’s direction.
“Okay. Let’s go, Sunny” the brunette said, grabbing the boy by the hand and dragging him gently.
They were both in silence for a while, but, along the way, Lynn decided to break the ice.
“So, why did you move here?” the girl asked innocently. The raven-haired boy looked down at hearing the question.
Lynn noticed that she made a mistake.
“Sorry, I didn’t mean to invade your personal space. I can stop talking it you want” the brunette said, already preparing to let go of the boy’s hand.
“No… I… like your voice” Sunny said, not wanting her to stop. She blushed at the remark.
“And you… why are you here?” the raven haired-boy asked.
“Well, my parents thought that my old school wasn’t teaching me enough, so, they thought that studying here would make me more prepared for when I go to college. But I didn’t have many friends back there, so, in the end, I didn’t mind” she answered, still smiling.
“… I had friends, but, not anymore” he said in a sad tone. The atmosphere got tense.
“Hey, then a new start is a great thing for you! You can make some new friends, right?” Lynn asked, trying to make him happier.
Sunny seemed less sad, but his expression was still serious.
Before she could make another attempt at talking to him, they had arrived at the council’s room door.
_______________________________________________
Arriving at the room, the duo noticed that it was pretty spacious. They had a big oval table that they assumed it was for meetings.
In one of the chairs, a blonde boy was reading some papers that seemed to be important.
“That one over there is probably Nathaniel. We should go and talk to him!” Lynn suggested.
However, she noticed too late that the boy had already walked into the supposed leader of the student body.
“Nathaniel. We need you” Sunny said on his usual nonchalant tone.
The blonde boy was frightened by that statement, and, when he looked up, he got even more scared, since the raven-haired boy had his usual stoic expression on his face.
The brunette girl ran into the scene, knowing that she needed to fix the whole situation.
“Sorry, he didn’t mean to scare you on purpose. We are new students, and we are here because the principal said you could help us with our registration forms” Lynn explained to the blonde boy.
Nathaniel regained his composure, and, although it seemed he still wasn’t much comfortable with the raven-haired boy, he seemed to be interested on the girl.
“Okay, let me check them” the class president said, grabbing said forms so that he could check on them. He flipped for the papers for a few minutes until he found some problems.
“Well, there are some things missing. You both need to bring formal photos of yourselves for identification, 25 dollars for the registration fee. And the application form with the signature of your guardians is also missing. You both need to bring all of these to me” Nathaniel explained.
“Are you sure the application form is missing? I was sure I put them with all the rest” Lynn explained, confused at the lack of that important document.
Sunny, meanwhile, had no idea if he even had this kind of document, since his godmother handled it all. But, it was not like he cared about that. All he could think was ‘Such unnecessary bureaucracy’.
Nathaniel put his hand on his chin in a thoughtful manner and gave the girl a small smile.
“There is a chance that it might have gotten somewhere else. I can solve that for both of you. Nice to see that among our new faces, we have such a responsible and pretty girl” the blonde boy said, with a small blush on his face.
“Thank you!” she exclaimed, the flirty intentions of the comment going over her head. The raven haired-boy didn’t notice it either.
“Let’s go, Sunny! We got more to do” Lynn said, dragging the boy out of the room again.
_______________________________________________
Back to the hallway, the brunette’s attempts into starting a conversation returned.
“Sorry for what interrupting you there. I just wanted to help you” Lynn explained, a little bit embarrassed at the fact she intruded in his introduction.
“It’s okay. Communicating has been hard. I haven't been talking to people in a long time” Sunny answered, giving an explanation to why he talks in such an unconventional way and in such an inappropriate tone.
“Really? Why?” the brunette girl questioned. The raven-haired boy stood in silent for a few minutes.
“I didn’t leave my old house in 6 years…” he stated, on the same nonchalant tone.
Lynn wanted to know more about all of that, but considering the slips that she already made earlier that day, she though it was better to avoid that seemed to be sensitive topics.
“Well, I can help you talking with others, if you don’t mind” the brunette girl offered. Her possible friend just nodded as an answer.
“LYNN!” a mysterious voice shouted from behind. The duo turned around, startled by such a noise. When they did it, they noticed that the sound was coming from a boy around their height.
“Ken?! Is that you?!” Lynn asked, surprised at the boy’s presence on that school.
“You can bet!” Ken answered, with a big smile on his face.
This boy named Ken had light brown hair, wore a green shirt with a brown stripe in the middle and a pair of glasses that Sunny thought were already extinct.
“What are you doing here?” the brunette girl asked, seeming to be relatively happy to see that boy.
“I moved schools so that I could be close to you!” the boy with glasses said, really excited at being close to his crush again.
Lynn seemed to feel a mixture of feelings at that statement. On one hand, she was happy to have a known face around her… in the other hand, it was kind of creepy the fact that the boy changed schools just so that he could be close to her.
Meanwhile, Sunny, that hadn’t interacted with much people in the past few years, and became unsure on which kinds of social behavior were appropriate, and which weren’t, didn’t really have any deep feelings about that.
“Well, since you have arrived earlier than us, did you already took your identity photo?” the brunette girl asked.
“I did! All I had to do was going to the school’s store and pay the man to take it for me” Ken explained with a face filled with happiness.
“Where is it? Me and my friend Sunny need this photo to finish our registrations” Lynn questioned, with an embarrassed smile on her face.
The boy with glasses finally noticed that Sunny was on her side. At first, he frowned, but he quickly hid it to not upset his crush.
“Oh, okay! It’s on a small room close to the garden. Just continue to walk forward until you find a door that brings you both outside” the boy with glasses explained.
“Thanks, Ken!” the candy girl said, ready to continue her journey of finishing her registration. Sunny was soon after her.
_______________________________________________
Adventuring through the school’s outdoor was harder than expected. Everything was so big, that it felt like they were trapped in a maze!
“Okay, we definitely need some directions” Lynn stated, tired of walking around so much. Sunny simply nodded.
Fortunately for them, they found a redhead boy that was sitting in a bench.
“Hey, you over there!” the brunette girl exclaimed, trying to get his attention. He groaned in annoyance and turned around.
“What?” the redhaired boy asked rudely. Lynn was slightly shocked by the tone, but, decided that it was best to ignore it.
“I am Lynn and this is Sunny. We are new here and need to take a photo to finish our registration” she explained with a polite smile.
The grumpy boy rolled his eyes.
“Great, a bunch of airheads joined our school. Fantastic news” the redhaired boy said sarcastically.
Lynn clearly didn’t appreciate what he said.
“Excuse me?! Who are you calling ‘airheads’?” Lynn asked incredulously.
‘It seems like they are about to fight. Wish there was popcorn’
“Well, I am only seeing two airheads, here, and they are right in front of me” the redhaired boy answered with a smirk on his face.
The brunette girl seemed to be getting angrier and angrier at the boy’s comments.
“Haven’t you ever heard of treating ladies with respect?!” Lynn inquired angrily.
“Well… as far as I know, ladies have breasts… and your chests are too flat for that” the redhaired boy said.
The brunette girl’s first though was to slap that boy on the face, but, at second thought, she ended up finding out a better solution.
“You know… if you noticed them, it means that you looked. And if you looked… it means that you are interested in me” she teased with a smirk. Now, it was the grumpy boy’s turn to turn red.
‘That was a super-effective move’
“It’s over there, okay!” the boy shouted, pointing to a small store next to some bushes and trees.
The duo seemed confused, though.
“The place that you can take your photos. The ones you needed for, remember?” the redhaired boy asked furiously.
Lynn giggled in satisfaction for finally getting what she wanted. The raven-haired boy, deep down, was also really content with the situation.
“Thank you for your help, noble man” she said sarcastically, still finding pleasure on the whole situation.
When she and Sunny started to walk away, though, the redhaired shouted something.
“My name is Castiel” Castiel said, finally presenting himself.
“It was a ‘pleasure’ to meet you, Castiel” Lynn said, still with a voice filled with irony.
The school’s store had no line, which meant that both were attended quickly.
“Oh, if isn’t two lovely new faces on school. What brings you both here” the store’s clerk asked with a polite smile. He was an elderly man with a Hawaiian shirt.
“You see, me and my friend over here need to take our pictures to finish our registration. Can you help us with that?” Lynn asked politely.
“Of course! It’s 8 dollars each!” the clerk said enthusiastically.
_______________________________________________
After taking their pictures, all that was left to do was going back to Nathaniel, and hand him the money for their registration fee.
“Gosh, if we continue to walk this much for the rest of the year on this school, we will never need to go to the gym again!” Lynn said out loud as a joke.
Sunny, different than most of the times, actually laughed at the comment.
“You laughed!” the brunette girl vibrated in joy. The raven-haired boy felt a bit awkward at the stamen.
“I did…” Sunny whispered while blushing. He had a small smile on his face. Lynn’s cheeks also got red after seeing how cute he looked with that smile.
When they returned to the council room, Nathaniel welcomed both with a serious expression.
“I have awful news to you both…” the blonde boy stated. The duo felt chill down their spines.
“What is it?” Lynn asked, feeling worried.
“I wasn’t able of finding your parent’s signature. You both won’t be able of enrolling in the school” Nathaniel stated with a sad expression.
‘Oh, sh*t’
Eventually, the blonde boy’s expression changed abruptly, and he burst out laughing.
“You both should have seen your faces” Nathaniel spoke, satisfied with the reactions.
“… it was a joke?” the brunette girl asked, clearly trying to hold her anger back. The blonde boy noticed that he probably went too far.
“Sorry, I thought it would be funny” Nathaniel apologized, embarrassed at himself.
Lynn gave a deep sigh.
“It’s fine… just, please don’t joke about us not being able of joining school” the brunette girl asked with a forced smile.
The blonde boy chuckled at her cuteness.
“Consider it done” Nathaniel agreed with a smile.
The two new students finally handled the missing paperwork to the leader of the student body.
“Well, now I am happy to officially declare you both students of Sweet Amoris. Your first class of the day will be class A. After leaving, you both can come here and consult me until you both receive your schedules” the blonde boy announced.
Lynn and Sunny left the room, ready to start their day!
_______________________________________________
“Honestly, I never expected to say that, but, I think I prefer to hear the teachers explaining the subject than doing all of this exercise through the hallways” the brunette girl commented, while she and the boy were once again moving through the corridors.
The raven-haired boy, though, was far less relaxed than her.
“I am scared of being around so many people” Sunny spoke, revealing the reason for such feeling.
“Don’t worry. There is no need too! I know you haven’t seen anyone in a long time, so you probably forgot, but people are usually nice and…” Lynn was interrupted by someone bumping into her.
However, before she came crashing into the ground, Sunny caught her midway, and helped her stand up.
“Hey, newbies!” an angry voice complained. When the duo looked up, they saw a trio of girls with enraged expressions.
“Don’t you both pay attention when you walk!” the blonde one shouted, with a voice filled with venom.
“Sorry, I swear I meant no harm, my name is…” the brunette girl attempted to introduce herself, but was stopped midway.
“Wow, we really weren’t luck this time. We received three newbies at once, and the three are uglier than a pig” the blonde girl commented.
‘Great, a blonde b*tch and her sheep minions. Just what I needed’
“Who did you call ugly?!” Lynn inquired, furious at the statement.
“Well, I will give you credit where credit is due. You are not that bad compared to that… Transylvanian stick over there” the blonde girl said, pointing to Sunny on the corner.
Lynn was about to start a fierce argument to defend her newest friend, but, before she could, the evil female trio had already left the scene.
The raven-haired boy approached his friend and put his hand on her shoulder as a way to show support, relaxing her a bit.
“Remember when I said that people are usually good? Well, there is a small part of them that… act like that” the brunette girl said, pointing in the direction that the blonde girl went.
_______________________________________________
Arriving at the classroom, Sunny and Lynn ended up choosing their seats next to one another.
They weren’t at the front, but weren’t at the back either.
“This class is a lot emptier than I expected, don’t you think, Sunny?” the brunette girl asked. The raven-haired boy nodded.
“Oh, it’s because you both are 10 minutes early!” an excited voice said from behind. It was a girl with ginger hair and a purple shirt.
“Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt your conversation. I was just really excited to meet you both!” the girl exclaimed sitting next to the two.
“My name is Iris! I may not be the smartest student, or the most athletic one, but, if you both need a good laugh or moral support, I am always here to help!” Iris said, presenting herself to the duo.
‘This girl has more sugar inside of her than any bottle of Orange Joe’
“Nice to meet you Iris. I am Lynn and the boy over there is Sunny” the brunette girl said, presenting themselves.
“Hi” Sunny whispered, being barely hearable.
“I am sure we are all going to be great friends!” the ginger girl shouted, filled with optimism.
_______________________________________________
The rest of the day for the two ended up being normal. All they had to do was pay attention to what the teacher said, and make notes of the most important topics.
There were no more complex missions for them, though, and to that, they were a bit thankful. Well, Lynn was thankful. Sunny, who was already used to this kind of missions, thought that they were more fun than regular classes.
“I know this might sound a bit weird, but, even if this day was filled with tasks, I had a lot of fun, you know?” Lynn spoke, leaving the school with her friend.
“Me too” the raven-haired boy admitted.
“Do you wanna do something now that the day is over? There is an ice scream store nearby my house. If we manage to eat it fast, I can arrive home right on time?” Lynn suggested.
Sunny was about to say answer the proposal, but he was interrupted by a large honk of a car.
The car had flashy bright pink colors, and the two immediately recognized who was driving it.
“Hello, my niece and my godson!” the driver yelled, while opening the car’s window.
“Oh, hi, aunt Farah. What are you doing here?” Lynn asked, surprised to see her aunt.
“I finished work early, so, I decided to take my adorable nephew home! Don’t you wanna have dinner with the two of us, darling?” Farah asked her nice.
“Sorry, aunt, but, my parents want me home early” the brunette girl answered.
“Well, there will always be a next time!” the pink-haired woman stated, not disappointed by the denial.
Sunny and Lynn said farewell to each other, and the raven-haired boy joined the car.
“So, how was your day?” Farah asked, turning the car on.
The Raven-haired boy, for a while, said nothing, just looked through the window to see his newest friend for the last time.
“It was… good”
#omori#omori au#omori sunny#my candy love#mcl#amour sucre#amor doce#mcl candy#mcl nathaniel#mcl castiel
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Chapter 7/To Be A Hero (Wild Skies AU)
The wind howled once more over the edge of the mountain. Berk was not the biggest island in the arquipelago, but it sure had some tall rocks for its size. Astrid's hair was getting a bit longer than she normally would allow it to be, and it flowed towards the horizon as she attempted to clear her mind.
Three weeks ago, Hiccup kicked her and her friends onto an island that was within reach to the patrols of Berk. She was rescued, and for a long while, Ruffnut and Snotlout did not utter a word to her. Then one day, Stoick asked to see her privately, showing her both a letter proposing an alliance with the south and a report delivered by Snotlout implying that the warrior was betraying the Hooligans. Stoic gave her a choice, either deal with her treason and put her on trial or keep her as the commander responsible for ensuring a diplomatic encounter with the south; to make sure any rumors of betrayal were thrown away.
The choice was obvious. Her own friends believed her a liar, a traitor, they were hurt, and if a trial happened, she would end up exiled, or banished from the place she called home, and yet... As she read over the south's proposal for truce, there was the clause that would ensure no one thought that she was working with the dragon lover.
"The termination and imprisonment of the Night Fury and the rider known as Night Stutter."
She was short of breath, wanting to hurl her stomach out and feeling like a thousand tiny glass pieces were clattering and shattering in her mind. Stoick noticed the paralyzed woman, getting up and speaking with what almost felt like hatred, an air of disappointment, a look of disbelief.
"I don't know your relationship with that rider, but whatever it is, know that it will end once he is publicly executed."
He reached forward, putting a hand to her shoulder as he could no longer hold his affection back.
"Astrid... This village needs a leader, and you are all i have left. All we have left. We can't win a war with the south; they have weapons that we've never seen before... Exploding metal and inventions that we can't beat with arrows and axes."
He sat down on his council spot. Leaning back as he dismissed her. She clutched the letter, shoving it on her belt.
"... I won't fail."
"You better not."
The response was sent to the south, and today they would arrive. She took a deep breath in. All her issues seemed futile. Everything could be solved if she would just say it, the identity of the Night Stutter, the reason she was alive, the reason why she hadn't killed a dragon in weeks. Astrid still felt no sympathy towards the beasts, but killing them... She was scared that he would see. She could never tell when Hiccup was nearby, if he was still watching, if maybe he was waiting to come back, if she wouldn't have to do any of this, and out of the kindness of his heart, he would come out by himself.
- I'm pathetic.
She whispered to herself, laying down and staring at the sky. The clear morning almost felt like the gods taunting her, showing that the world went on even with her world crumbling. The things she felt, the things that she was terrified to name, they took up everything inside. Every corner and curve. What was it? She hated him, hated him to the point it hurt to do so, because it didn't feel right. It didn't feel right to hate him, to call him enemy, that shy stupid boy from when she was a child was now a wild man with the same naive intentions and worldview he always had. He wasn't perfect, but he didn't claim to be. He wasn't always right, but he was so willing to admit his wrongs. In the end, what really bothered Astrid was how, there was no way, in any version of their meeting that she created in her mind, that he was the bad guy. Hiccup was not the evildoer, the threat to Berk, the problem of the arquipelago. He helped people, he didn't kill anyone that didn't deserve it, and he preached peace.
Peace.
A viking speaking of peace and tranquility was a crazy thought, but Hiccup was never like the other vikings anyway.
No, what really made her curl up, cry, shake and feel wrathful was the simple question that came with all this wondering. If he was not the bad guy, and he is her enemy, then what is Astrid?
Days and nights she spent remembering all the gruesome things she had done, all the people she had lost, and no normal viking would see those as bad things, but she felt weirdly evil for doing them. She blamed Hiccup. Even before she knew he was alive, she blamed the boy that died speaking of doing things a different way. With each kill, each dragon felled, she would hear that voice, in the back of her neck, whispering in fear.
"Am i doing the right thing?"
She got up, breathing heavy, she couldn't afford doubt. She stared onto the horizon, remembering all of Hiccup's stories of different lands, different people, all these things she would never get to experience, all because of how rotten her heart was. At the end of the day, that's what it always came down to. A heart like hers couldn't be saved, and whatever would happen, there was no turning back. At least that's what she believed.
At noon, they arrived. Led by a man named Johann, the dragon hunters of the south arrived. Intricate weapons and chains, boats bigger than Astrid had ever seen, harpoons coated with some sort of green liquid and always pointed at the sky. The man was cunning, she immediately could tell his sweet words towards Stoick were always hiding wicked intentions. His men looked as mean as they come, no expression or emotion as they observed Berk as if it was nothing but a piece of land. Behind Astrid were her friends, with newfound confidence, happy they would work with the south instead of against them, but the valkyrie was having none of it.
- Ah! I assume this is your fearless commander! - He approached Astrid, extending a hand- I hear you have some exciting information about the Night Stutter.
Astrid stared at his palm, her characteristic frown deepening while she forced herself to shake his hand. Everything in the name of diplomacy.
- He's stronger than you think. Your weapons wouldn't even touch him.
He let go of her hand, staring at her with a weird glint in his eye:
- Ha! The way you say it, it almost sounds like a threat.
Stoick put an arm around his shoulders. Taking his attention:
- Come, Johann. I will show you around the island. Afterall, today is Astrid's ascension to the title of thane! She needs to prepare. Fishlegs, Tuffnut, with me.
The two went to give the man his tour. Fishlegs already spouting about the history and legacy of Berk while Tuffnut spoke about the festivities and ale. Ruffnut scattered to do something else, but Snotlout stayed behind.
- Hey, Astrid...
She turned to him, her frown softening.
- What? Do you need anything?
Snotlout started to rub the back of his neck, embarrassed, ashamed.
- I... We've been fighting together for years. You've saved my hide more times than i can count and... And i know that you don't like people going over your head.
- Speak, Snotlout.
She didn't have time for his self-pity. There was already too much on her plate, this man's feelings did not need to be added to her load.
- I'm just sorry, okay?! I'm sorry i doubted you, i'm sorry i thought you would ever betray Berk it's just...
He looked at her, waiting for her to interrupt him, but when she showed no signs that she would do so, he continued.
- I've been your friend for very long, and not once have i seen you... Look at someone. For a moment i thought you were incapable of affection!... And then there was the island and... Astrid, your eyes were... So bright.
She punched him, he fell back, yelling as he held his cheek:
- OUCH!! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?!
He looked at her and froze. Her face was unsure, scared, a realization that she didn't want to have been just forced by Snotlout.
- Astrid?...
Tears started to fall from her eyes as she clutched her fists close to her chest. It had finally been too much.
Snotlout slowly approached her, his hands holding her shoulders as he kept a safe distance, mostly for his safety.
- Astrid, are you okay?... What's wrong?
Astrid didn't cry. At least not in front of anyone. Snotlout stared at her, not knowing what to do or say.
A vase shattering made them flinch, Astrid suddenly gaining her composure back, and wiping away her tears. She pushed Snotlout back.
- I'm fine.
He wanted to say something but knew that wasn't the best choice. Astrid started walking towards her cabin, but for a moment, she turned to Snotlout again.
- ...The thing about friendship, Snotlout, is that, sometimes, it requires us to break some rules. Clearly, that wasn't something you were willing to do.
Astrid stared at the water basin; her reflection scared her. The woman in the water looked soft, weak, needy. She couldn't afford that, not if she wanted Berk to thrive. She grabbed her knife, the sharp blade gleaming against the light. Sharp cuts through her hair, the length decreasing once more, dark coal was smeared under her eyes, other tints and paints doing the ritualistic marks necessary for the ascension. She stared at the basin once more. She hated that face, but at least this one she was used to, it felt right, familiar.
She held her knife as she left the cabin. The pyre, the rumbling of the drums, the chants and the smell of ale. It was suffocating, but it felt intoxicating at the same time. As if the entirety of the party was moving inside her. She closed her eyes, feeling it all muddle together. Stoick pulled her near the council, putting her in front, her dazed eyes focusing as she put on her façade. The chief's voice boomed over everyone, the silence falling on his people as they paid attention to each word uttered.
- When a warrior proves themselves, the gods show us that strength, wit and power come from the rage we allow ourselves to carry in the name of those lost. We put our lives in the battlefield, hoping that the axe that fell us will aid us into Valhalla. Today, we accept as thane our most prestigious fighter. Our valkyrie, who showed promise since the moment she was born. Swinging her axe around, showing her skills and mastery, she proved that the dragons are beasts with no heart, honor or mind. The Exterminator! The Savior of Berk! The Tamer of the Scorching Plague!
Her heart thumped inside her chest, straightening her back, she faked pride, her scowl growing as to intimidate anyone that would accuse her of anything other than happiness. She started counting the seconds, wondering how long she would have to stay here, looking at the faces of everyone she was lying to. Her people, her family, her clan. She closed her eyes, the noises growing louder. Stoick's voice broke through:
- And! To show us her prowess, as our ancestors have done before us, the thane will fall a beast in front of our eyes!
Her eyes shot open. This was a tradition, but one they haven't done in years, and not like this, not in the middle of everyone. Many thanes had come, but none were asked this unless the arena was available. She turned to Stoick, oblivious of her despair, he gave her a warm smile. She looked down, staring at the knife she clutched so tight. The blade was no longer shining, only reflecting the space. The heat of the pyre was becoming too much, her breath got caught in her throat, her eyes felt heavy, her face felt numb. Then, as if to wake her to the situation, a pained melody that was quickly silenced.
There was the Death Song.
Surrounded in chains, covered with pins and metal. It seemed younger than most Death Songs. Johann laughed delighted:
- Oh, it was such a privilege to have seen these beauties in their natural habitat. Did you know they encase their prey in amber?! Even eat other dragons the nasty things. This one is on me, by the way. To show our commitment to an alliance with the Hooligans! Go ahead, thane. Have at him!
Astrid shivered. Many of Johann's men held down the dragon, the beast trying desperately to flee. Desperate. She knew that feeling. Knew it a bit too well. A viking pushed her forward, she took it as a sign to start walking. Everyone yelled and cheered, begging for blood, for the death of this dragon. The warrior took careful steps forward, looking the creature dead in the eye. The dragon started looking back.
He stopped struggling.
The mounds of viking felt like walls of shadow, like a barrier stopping her from deviating from her fate. This fate.
She kneeled in front of the Death Song. The dragon's pupils grew, hope filling his face. His eyes then saw her still holding the knife, and suddenly, Astrid wondered if dragons would cry if they could. She looked around... and touched her forehead to the dragon's horn. People slowly stopped cheering. Stoic observed, with a certain annoyance and uncertainty. Doubt sprouted in his mind as he realized what was happening.
Slowly, the Death Song closed his eyes, accepting his fate. Astrid whispered rites, a prayer to help him reach Valhalla, the vikings were silently observing, their tone suddenly changing.
No longer was this the death of a beast, but the execution of a warrior.
- Let the warriors here, in the hall come forth,
Thine and mine, for the need is mighty,
If haply the queen from death they may hold,
Till her fearful thoughts with time shall fade.
The sound of flesh being cut, the sound of liquid spilling onto the floor. The dragon had stopped moving. Astrid slowly rose, hands and blade stained. She slowly turned, her eyes finding Johann, and then seeing Stoick, his face said everything she needed to hear. His anger was no longer turned to her, as he realized what he was about to accept. The Valkyrie cleaned her blade against her big gloves, staring at Johann with a fire in her eyes.
- We are vikings. We are people of tradition and religion. We recognize the power and fight in our foes. We hunt these creatures, but they will always fight back, they will always give us battle and honor. What that man is proposing... It is not about our protection, it is not about our tradition, it is about money.
Johann looked around, noticing the sudden shift in emotion. He got up, slowly moving towards his group.
- I... I have no clue what you are talking about! If dragons die, won't it help you?! So, what if we get some natural resources from them on the meantime! These creatures have no soul, no essence to walk into Valhalla or whatever idiotic beliefs you have!
Stoic took a step forward, his frame being enough to get Johann to run behind his people.
- I was so blinded by the prospect of protection, of getting some sort of leverage over these creatures that i forgot who the dragon hunters were. Your efforts were what almost extinguished our sheep, what almost ruined all the forests and farming land throughout the arquipelago. We might be at war with these beasts, but every single Hooligan will die before denying them the right to fight. What happened here today did prove Astrid's capability of being Thane, it did show her how deserving she is of the title... And she proved so by showing me who you truly are.
Stoick stepped closer to him, two of his men tried to push the man back, only to get themselves throw out of the way without struggle. The chief looked down at an angry Johann:
- Leave, you rat. There will be no peace with the south. If you want our lands, you will have to take it from us.
Johann scowled; it reminded Astrid of when her mom told her stories of gremlins who would get upset when they failed their trickery. The man snapped his fingers, his people taking the Death Song's body away as he retreated to his ship. His last words reverberated in the Valkyrie's mind:
- We'll see where your alliance truly lies when your village burns, Thane.
Astrid put her hand on the tree, trying to find balance, puking from the nerves of everything that had happened. Her hands and clothes were still stained with blood. They invited her to stay, to enjoy the festivities, saying that it was her day, but all she could think about was the oncoming war. She walked to the forest, far from the music and drinks and people. She walked towards a small lake on this area, inside a crater. Climbing down, she stopped holding back the tears, taking off her gloves and her cotton shirt to wash, throwing the heavy armor to the side as the salty droplets fell down her cheeks.
- Shit... Shit...
The blood refused to wash off. She knew how to wash blood off, but her brain was so confused she wished the gods would give her a miracle and save her the trouble. The warrior wanted to erase this from her mind.
A sound of branches breaking made her hold still. With a slow motion, she put her shirt back on. Astrid already knew who it was. Her voice came out weaker than she wanted it to be. Scared. Scared of what he would think of her after that:
- ... How much did you see?
Quiet steps approached. She started wondering if it really was him, if it maybe was someone else, maybe one of Johann's men followed her, maybe it was Snotlout wanting to apologize once more.
Then his hand reached her shoulder. He kneeled behind her, his forehead resting against her neck. His voice was quiet and gentle.
- ... I'm sorry.
His arms wrapped around her waist, fully hugging her as she weakly heaved.
- You could have just come back... None of this would have happened if you came back...
- I know... I'm sorry... I'm sorry...
They stayed there, waiting, enjoying this rare moment of respite, where they allowed each other to cry. The two unbreakable and immovable forces letting themselves be soft for one another. They felt it again, as if they were trapped in time, as if the rest of the world had gone away for a single second, just so they could feel that peace, that comfort they had been craving for so long.
Astrid had finally stopped crying. Feeling slightly embarrassed by her position, she shook him off. He cleared his throat and sat looking at some other spot, body fully turned away from her. Astrid was the first to break the silence:
- We're at war with the south.
- Yeah... I'm pretty sure i told you to not do that.
She chuckled. Noticing her amusement, she quickly changed her expression again. They might be civil now, but they were still enemies. She wondered if anyone else in the world had to constantly remind themselves that.
- So, still not helping i assume?
Hiccup sighed, almost bored, as if the question was tedious.
- I have been helping, and i will continue to do so, but that's not really the question you're asking, i assume.
The Valkyrie clicked her tongue annoyed. He knew her too well, and it was infuriating. She started splashing the lake. Hiccup spoke with a smile:
- You know... This is the place where i tamed Toothless.
Astrid looked up, taking in the surroundings of her secret spot, but apparently not hers at all.
- ... You told me about it... I wonder if maybe i didn't feel that this was your spot.
- Feel? What do you mean?
She sighed, hugging her legs ashamed, but not feeling the urge to hide her feelings.
- When you... Disappeared. I felt myself going to places you liked. It was... Cathartic. Sometimes it felt like... Like you were still here.
Hiccup turned towards her, moving a bit closer.
- If it... makes you feel better... My heart always was. I-i mean, i know that won't change all the pain i caused you and... Everyone but... I never forgot you.
Astrid looked at him, a scoffing smile tugging at her lips:
- Hah! That almost sounded like courting, Night Stutter.
- I love you.
What? She laughed before processing the words. Turning away to throw some water at him, but he stayed unmoving. Serious. Her smile slowly disappeared. She started stuttering, as if her mind was no longer there. He repeated it:
- I love you, Astrid Hofferson. Always have.
She moved back instinctively. He stayed still, observing her reaction, trying to decipher her expression.
And then, she kicked him in the chest.
- OUCH!! That hurt!
She got up quickly, Toothless came from the darkness, rushing towards the rider to check on him and quickly realizing he was fine. Astrid screamed, frustrated:
- How-- How DARE YOU!!
- Wait, what?! What did i do wrong?!
Hiccup got up, catching his breath. Astrid started pacing:
- I-- YOU-- WE AREN'T--! I HATE you!
Hiccup laughed humorless, scratching his head:
- Well, that's a bit harsh.
- No, no, you don't understand! We're enemies!! You can't... I won't... SHUT UP, HICCUP!!
She started marching away, going back to the village, hiding her beet red face.
- Wait, Astrid! Just... Just wait a moment, did i do something wrong?! Why are you angry at me?!
She whipped to look at him, he stopped, noticing he fucked up.
- You help dragons. I kill dragons. You have no responsibilities. I have a whole VILLAGE to take care of! You can't love me. You can't love me while going against everything i am! Everything i believe!
He scoffed, a bit annoyed:
- Oh, really? Do dragon killers cry after murdering one of them? Do they second guess and give them their rites before sending them to Valhalla? I saw you waver, i saw you... I saw you talking to Snotlout about me. About the way you look at me; and although i don't appreciate him getting that close... He did help you realize what you feel about me.
Boiling anger. Astrid took a step closer, her whole demeanor shifting as Hiccup felt like he stepped on a trap. If there was one thing the woman didn't appreciate, was being stalked like deer.
- And what, pray tell, is it that i feel for you?
He gulped as Toothless whimpered and took a step back, predicting what Hiccup was going to say.
- Well, you... Love me too... Right?...
Astrid basically growled at Hiccup, turning back and walking with purpose towards the village. Hiccup sighed, shaking his head at his social interaction and looking at his buddy, who looked pained with cringe.
- Oh, shut up. At least i'm trying. Where's your love interest?
And he started following Astrid.
- Astrid, wait.
- Go away!
- I'm not going to follow you into the village. I'm not that stupid.
She stopped. Silence fell onto the forest. She felt herself shiver, wondering what she could do, what would it take to get him back, to get him to willingly show himself to everyone. His voice broke through:
- ... Why didn't you... Why didn't you just let him go?... You clearly didn't want him to die, you saw his eyes, you saw how afraid he was.
She felt their bubble bursting, reality seeping into their relationship. Whatever softness she felt before, now gone as she noticed how mournful he was about the dragon. Not about their bond, not about abandoning his family, but about the beast dying.
- Well, Hiccup...
Her words were lathered with venom, she both didn't want to say this and wanted to yell it out to everyone. She remembered every interaction they had, every moment of coziness, of insecurity, of embarrassment; she also remembered all the years she spent crying, looking for revenge, all the people she lost during Stoick's crusade against dragons. The Valkyrie turned around, her icy eyes piercing Hiccup's previous confidence, all his "sures" becoming "maybes" in seconds.
- Sometimes people must die so you can prove a point.
She didn't need to spell it out for him. He could interpret it just fine.
"It's all your fault."
She went back to the village, knowing now that she was a hero, any insecurities or doubts gone from her mind. She did what she should have done, what was right, and just like that, all the regret disappeared. She looked at her knife, a bit of blood still attached to it, but it shined more than ever before.
The second crack of hatred was carved into her heart.
°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°°
Welp, i’ll be fully honest, i forgot i had this AU! College has been difficult and i ended up forgetting a lot of the stuff i posted on this tumblr, but i still have the drafts for this fic all ready, i just need to reread them and post them! Hope you enjoyed this chapter, there will definetely more coming soon. (As long as i don’t forget)
#wild skies au#wild!astrid#wild!hiccup#httyd#astrid httyd#hiccup httyd#Astrid Hofferson#Hiccup Haddock#how to train your dragon#alternate universe#fanart#fanfic#wild skies#toothless
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devlog 18: doo dads, inventories and recycling like responsible authors.
The script for TSTW is 17 scenes long so far, still in progress. I estimate it will be around 30 to 40, which is a welcome change given that my last comic was around 110. with that in mind…
would you believe me if i said i spent an entire day looking for an extremely specific book that i used to own- well two actually now that i think about it. I didn’t find them. One of them was a book with a bunch of electronic crafts for kids, the other was this book where you’re supposed to tear the pages to make everything from a chessboard to a cup. Not important, the point is Brandon Sanderson said something very insightful about writing characters that are smarter than you: being smart, often, is a matter of how much time you have to solve a problem. We consider someone as being smart when they very quickly have a good answer to a given question. The reason I was looking for two random ass books I owned as a kid is because I have the time to figure out how the kids are going to channel their inner bear grylls to improvise, adapt, overcome. they do not.
today, we’re going to be figuring out what we can realistically get away with as far as child inventions go, as well as talking about how as artists, reusing work is normal and shouldn’t be something to be ashamed of.
So first things first: what do the kids in our story have access to? this was the easiest to figure out because I know what living situations most of them experience, so here’s a list:
killouette: stationary and a camera. I’m still unsure which time period the story takes place in, so it’s unsure whether or not the camera is digital. It's objectively more fun if it’s a polaroid camera, because then all her pictures are physical. This is a plus because the only person with a computer in the group is talbas. On the other hand, setting the story in the mid 2000s means she probably has a small digital camera that she could connect to a bigger screen. alternatively, if i choose to set the story in the present, she could have both. unwanted old cameras left in a drawer somewhere.
bata tete: fun craft tools (paint, glue, string, ribbons, a big pile of magazines), a basket and a printer. you can’t go wrong with paint and pictures if you’re writing a story about kids, and this is also helpful because it introduces additional things to bata tete’s character: a more artsy side to complement the mission impossible stuff. instinctively i’m thinking the strings are definitely going to serve as trip wires at some point or another, and paper mache is definitely going to be involved in some way.
falefil: a po box, a piano and an electronic voice recorder. My current headcanon for falefil is that he doesn’t really like toys, so minus getting aluminum foil from his mom’s kitchen, he can probably lend his electronic voice recorder to accomplish something. maybe a makeshift MP3 player?
zmik: toys and objects intended to be used with other kids. all unused. I’ll admit this the saddest one by a longshot but it hits home a bit too hard to not include. I remember the piles of old board games, slingshots, marbles, even -the irony- a pair of walkie talkies I had that just… sat there. I like to imagine Zmik is finally in a place where he can share these things with people he likes.
motsik: broken knick knacks, pieces of mirror, detergents, bent spoons, a lot of wooden kabab skewers. It should come as no surprise that most of what Motsik has to offer is broken to some capacity, because of his violent household. the things he brings are broken because he effectively fishes them out of the trash, figuring his friends might have something they could do with them. note: motsik could also try to make stuff himself, but given his character this would be infrequent.
talbas: her uncle has an electronic equipment store, he teaches her stuff and low key is in on some of the shenanigans the kids do. despite the neglect from her parents, talbas loves spending time with her uncle whose store is nearby. he loves the fact that she’s interested in soldering and making fun doodads, so he has a budget set aside just for her. it’s pretty obvious that talbas’ uncle is the only person tethering her to a sense of purpose and a feeling of love.
claude: a lot of organic things and the knowledge thereof. Claude has little in the way of possessions, but she has a lot of street smarts. Claude keeps track of inventory across the 6 kids’s houses and frequently is the first to suggest solutions to problems.
with that being figured out, all we need to do to try to combine what they have with what the problem is and we see what comes out the other end. for example:
let’s say they need all hands on deck for something but that means ignoring a hallway where someone could come see what they’re doing. we know they would have access to stuff like strings, empty spools, simple electrical components and tin foil, so they could for example make a small trip wire using one of several methods i thought up:
this one is a pressure pad you can hide under a carpet that sets off a small light or beeper.
this one is a single use tripwire that would not require miles of electrical wire lol.
two things to note: the actual schematics in the book are going to look much nicer but also i’m approaching writing this book with publishing in mind, so I’m steering clear of actually dangerous things like blades and anything stronger than a small battery. which is a shame- i have a very funny story about how i personally once nearly set my building on fire trying to make a lamp when i was like 11, but that’s not the kind of stuff that will get published for middle grade/early young adult readers. I hate having to squash my book into a category like this, but if i’m to have any hope of doing what i love for the rest of my life, this feels like a necessary sacrifice.
now, as an aside, let’s talk about something I personally do that I think might be helpful to others and I’m going to illustrate my point by sharing spoilers for a project I won't get to for another couple of years.
Around 2014 was my very first attempt at writing something. it was a story called “Last of the Predators”, a very angsty attempt at something serious written by a version of me with no connection to the subject matter whatsoever. it had no plot outline, end in mind or clearly defined characters. Everyone spoke in the same monotone calm way and every paragraph had way too much description of the person’s emotional state. I eventually lost interest and dropped it, even deleting the blog I had been using to document the updates on.
shortly after I started making comics, i came up with the ice cream men: a story that follows two aliens kicked off their planet who arrive on earth. In their boredom, they decide to follow the recipe for something called ice cream, inevitably bringing up a million other topics along the way. This might sound fun, but when I came up with it at the time it didn’t feel enough to justify the commitment it would require. it initially focused too much on jokes and really didn’t have much to offer in the way of depth. so i shelved the idea for a while and this is the piece of advice i have:
don’t throw ideas away, just shelve them.
around this time is where my studies got in the way. When you’re just starting out trying to make art, everything stops you dead in your tracks. It wasn't until I started working on illustrating almost home that the creative gears started turning again. I came up with a whole bunch of things, but some of what I did is revisit my folder of abandoned projects. Sometimes when a project feels dull, it can be helpful to merge it with another one. This doesn’t always work but when it does it can lead to very interesting results. This is what I did with the ice cream men. I took the philosophical premise of the ice cream men which suffered from an underdeveloped plot and bad setting that didn’t suit the theme, and I combined it with the idea that survived after I cut all the slack out of Last of the predators which is the following:
The world LOTP is set in suffered a cataclysmic event that killed all the animals. Humans being how they are, they quickly built a religion around this and decided that some people have “predator souls” while others have “prey souls”, even going as far as to genetically engineer the way people look to introduce animalistic features to faces and bodies. The story is very political in nature and revolves around this role reversal that happens many many years after the cataclysm… and that’s where all the bullshit comes into play that I cut out.
As a side note, what I just told you is the polished version of the lore I rewrote for this devlog- it’s not the one I decided to settle on for the ice cream men but I'm sharing it regardless for the sake of documentation. point is: the reason this felt relevant to me is because combining this with the ice cream men added a layer of intrigue to the story which i really liked:
two aliens are kicked off their planet and arrive on a deserted planet which the reader knows is earth. In their boredom, they decide to follow the recipe for something called ice cream, inevitably discovering more about this strange planet and its past…
That past is the yet untold story of LOTP, with a less shitty name and more consideration given to the themes and mechanics of the things at play. so effectively we have several narrative layers at play:
the ice cream thing which could be a commentary on purpose or the creative process in addition to being a fun jumping off point for comedic relief
the past of the planet which could offer some mystery to the story, and maybe encourage some more serious topics to be brought up
and a third secret one, that i’m not willing to share just yet.
which i think is a story more worth telling. Here's another example more immediately relevant to our devlog. two years ago, I was thinking about how funny it would be to have unnecessarily complicated contraptions in the kitchen. the type of stuff you see unemployed engineers do for social media instead of benefiting mankind. I asked myself how would you go about making those contraptions useful: maybe someone could benefit from them if they were for example disabled, cool. too straightforward for my liking. What if they were small? like… as small as a bug? a very small chef.
how to cook when you’re 2 inches tall. that sounds fun i like it. What if it was a cookbook where part of the instructions were these complicated instructions on how to build and solder electronics? fun! I need a chef and an engineer to do that. I am neither.
don’t throw ideas away, just shelve them.
I kept thinking about that for a while. I imagined our protagonist Claude, a small hercules beetle who loves to cook. I wrote three versions of the script of a comic and even discussed making it a short animation at some point, but it didn’t feel right. it’s not the vision. It needs to be a cookbook.
queue Killouette and the fact that I’m really annoyed at how the camera can see everything. I remembered the idea I had with the cookbook, so I thought why not borrow some of that and make it a diary? Let’s add Claude in there as well for good measure. Maybe then how to cook when you’re 2 inches tall can be the one that comes after Killouette if I’m lucky enough to get funding. A grown Claude who made it big as a cook. By combining the two projects into two parts of the same series, I fixed the problem I had with the camera and added continuity to two otherwise one off projects.
So maybe that’s something to keep in mind. don’t throw away ideas, shelve them instead.
Next week we’ll be looking into the supplementary children’s book attached to killouette.
devlog updates on tuesdays.
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How about ☔️ ? As for the f/o, I leave the choice entirely to you :3
☔ — f/o and s/i got caught in the rain... write about how they handle it! did either of them bring an umbrella?
I’ve had some serious Mandy brainrot today, so I went with her for this! Also the snippet got away from me schwoopsieeeeeee lmao. No real content warnings here aside from a couple suggestive lines. For the most part it’s just cutesy fluffy stuff!! :3
I tapped a fingernail against the glass, breath leaving a puff of condensation from just how damn cold it was outside. “I don’t think this is gonna let up anytime soon,” I admitted. We’d already waited at the diner for a half hour longer than we’d intended. The rain had only gotten more intense, pounding against the window as if determined to force its way inside.
Amanda made a noncommittal sound of agreement. She looked tiny on the other side of the table, as if the faded red vinyl of the booth was going to swallow her up. But she looked at ease with that idea. At ease just sitting here, drinking endless amounts of coffee and talking about nothing. Talking about everything. As if the world didn’t exist outside the preciously unremarkable 24 hour diner.
As much as I wanted to wring Jigsaw’s neck for what he’d done to me – to us – I had to admit. I did appreciate the little things so much more now.
“We can’t just stay here all night.”
“Why not?” Mandy asked, propping a fist against her cheek and fixing me with a wide-eyed, almost pleading look. But she had on a soft smile. Fuck, I wished I could capture the image of her smile in my brain forever.
“You can’t expect me to sleep in these booths. Who knows the last time they got cleaned with more than a wet cloth.” I said it jokingly, but the idea of passing out here did have me repressing a shudder. It’s not like a Jigsaw trap could solve my goddamn germaphobia.
She glanced out the window and sighed. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”
She sounded so reluctant, it took everything in me not to capture her hands and say, If I could spend the rest of my goddamn life with you trapped in a mediocre diner just to see you smile and laugh and never worry again, I would. I wish I could. I want to. But that wasn’t the reality we lived in, the reality of long work days and paying rent and the hell of our own minds and the quiet nights with too few hours.
I shrugged with an apologetic smile. “There’s always tomorrow.”
Amanda met my gaze. “Yeah,” she said softly. “There’s always tomorrow.”
Because there had to be. For us, there had to be a tomorrow. We'd fought and maimed and killed to live to see that tomorrow.
We split the bill, Amanda tipping back the last bitter dregs of her coffee and me tipping back the last heart-destroyingly sweet dregs of mine, then threw on our coats and huddled by the door. Neither of our coats were waterproof. Neither of us had brought an umbrella; neither of us even owned an umbrella. The fucking forecast had said it wasn’t going to rain till past midnight, but the fucking forecast had been wrong.
“On three,” Amanda whispered.
“This is gonna suck,” I whispered back. “It’s gonna be cold as fuck.”
“I can warm you up afterwards.” Amanda gave me a pointed look. I couldn’t help the stupidass snort that escaped me. “Okay. One…. Two…..”
“This is gonna suck so bad.”
“….Three!”
She shoved the door open and bolted. I was right behind her. The coats did absolutely fuckall. I was soaked and shivering in seconds, teeth chattering so hard I could practically feel my skull vibrating. I was right. This sucked ass. But at least there weren’t that many other people out because of it. We raced down the sidewalk, barreling through the puddles in our wake and not stopping once, because if either of us stopped it would be even worse starting again.
It felt like it took fucking forever to get back to my tiny apartment, and I was trembling so hard it fucking hurt, but we made it. I yanked off my boots, peeled off my drenched socks, and hurled my equally-soaked coat onto one of the kitchen chairs. “Holy FUCK it’s cold.”
Amanda was on me in an instant. She was soaked too, her coat shed alongside mine and her hair plastered to the sides of her face. She looked like she’d been thrown into a washing machine. But she was standing on her tiptoes and had her arms thrown around my neck and was pressing kisses to my face and I couldn't ignore the sheer delight that made me feel.
“I said I’d warm you up,” she said slyly.
….She did say that, didn’t she? Well, who the hell was I to say no to that offer?
#heehee this was so self-indulgent. giggling and kicking my feet about it tbh#ace writes#🐽💚#🃏🫀#friend montana <3#ask game
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A couple of thoughts I had about “I Love You”
So the amount of cake he feeds her is clearly less than how much she feeds him. I think the cake may represent affection and love, but specifically a love where they don’t acknowledge their problems. It’s just a substanceless sugar sweet that doesn’t do anything but make you happy in the short term without addressing the core of the issue. He feeds her a small amount when she is upset on the couch. Their relationship was really unbalanced where she was overwhelmingly loving. Look at that cake, how can he fit all that in his mouth without difficulty?
I think they both had issues prior to the relationship, with the BF possibly dealing with depression. I’ve also seen the theory that he was financially dependent on her because of the line "Clothes Food Shelter + Love and Miss you" and if that’s true, then that’s fucked.
Mahiru didn’t really know how to help him, so she just did what he did to her when she was upset. After all, it cheered her up, so she should give back to him with double the cake (love). Obviously, it didn’t help him at all, and the overwhelming and suffocating nature of her love made things worse.
Mahiru’s attitude towards what Kotoko did shows that she thinks people should do what they believe is right no matter what. She may have had this same attitude toward her boyfriend's suicidal feelings too. Which is... so fucked up if true. It would also support the theory of her intending to commit a lover’s suicide. I’m not sure if I fully buy that theory, but it’s interesting.
With hindsight, Mahiru knows that she was wrong deep down. That’s why it switches back to reality. The cake is a rat. Dead rats can symbolize many things, including betrayal and a lack of adaptability. Not everything can be solved with just love, but that’s all she offered. BF needed actual help. The lyrics also indicate this.
Saying I love you but doing what I did,
I know I have no right, crossed and covered in sin
My love, it scored an own goal, destroyed my love and me with its weight
Tell me, oh tell me why, can’t I just do it right
This does contradict her VD, where Mahiru says she hasn’t done anything wrong, but I think it’s because she equates her love = life. If her way of loving was wrong, then everything about her and her life is wrong. It seems like a coping mechanism, the only way she can justify staying alive.
Also she is does verbally doubt whether her relationship was good or not as well. She “thinks” they were normally going out. Perhaps she just needs more time to process.
It’s taken her this long to even admit that he’s dead. Her reluctance to fully verbalize her responsibility reminds me of Fuuta. Neither want to fully admit responsibility, but they know they were wrong.
That’s my thoughts for now. Also, does anyone know why he was wet at the start, but dry at the end? The only thing I could think of is that he might have been hanging there when it rained, but there’s no mention of rain. I couldn’t think of anything else.
#milgram#mahiru shiina#milgram thoughts#my thoughts are rotating around my head like a carousel#i'm not the best at analyzing things so if anyone has any ideas id love to hear them#i tend to be quite indecisive about of interpretations of things
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Prompt #1: Envoy
#FFxivWrite2023
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As always, spoilers for Endwalker.
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"Hell no," Altani replied.
Alphinaud’s face fell and Alisaie’s expression morphed into a deep frown. Before the two could start their arguments or begging, the Warrior of Light got up from the table and walked out into the cold. Estinen thought it was best to leave the woman alone, but Alphinaud turned to him with a silent plea. Pursing his lips, he followed after the warrior.
Garlemald was a cold, desolate place. The rebuilding effort was well underway, but the scars in the snow were easily seen. The capitol was still a ruined mess, and the castle still looked like a black becon of doom. This place reminded Altani only of bad memories. The snow here wasn't like Ishgard. It felt hopeless and alien here. The peace between Garlemald and the Eorzean alliance was tense. People here didn't look at her with smiles and awe. Most were wary of her, and some were openly hostile.
Worse, it wasn't like she could do a thing about it. Everything was eggshells here. One friendly punch to the wrong person and it would all be for nothing. She wished the Twins hadn't begged for a visit. She should have known there was an alterior motive!
Altani walked around the building and headed down a ruined avenue into a ddestroyed park. The debris had been cleared from the area, but the place was still charcoal black. She was sitting on a stone bench when Estinien sat down next to her. He didn't say a word, only crossed his arms and waited.
"You can fuck right off, too," she said, but it lacked her usual bite.
"You've brought the Garleans supplies from other nations. What makes asking for the Steppe's cooperation any different?" he asked.
He was never one to beat around the bush, she thought. The twins would have speeches to debate and try to sway her to their thoughts. Estinen just wanted to know what her problem was.
"It's hard not to hate them," she said.
Estinen raised his brow, but waited.
"Watching the twin's faces after those two girls died in the snow. I'll never forget that. It's one thing to distrust us. It's another for even the citizens to hate the barbaric eorzean savages so much that they'd rather die than take our aid. Those girls had never met a foreigner before. It all comes from their damn military and ruling class."
Altani looked at him. "I know they're not all like that, and they have deigned to take our aid now. Julius doesn't treat us like that. But what they're asking me to do, dealing with their nobles, as their envoy to the Steppe..."
She scowled. "You don't know what I've seen, Estinen. The things they have done. The things they did to Zenos, to others, to Gaius' children. The horrific experiments to their own citizens, not counting war crimes. How can I as Khagan ask the Steppe for aid to these people who think them little more than ornery chattel? They spit on us because they never conquered us. Asking me to deal with those Garlean asshats is ridiculous. Every time I look at them, I want to fight. They hate me, and I hate them. The twins are better at politics. Let them deal with it."
"Someone has to put down the weapon first. If not, we would never see the end of war," Estinen replied. "This one, or any other. And 'tis a sad fact that it shall fall to you, whether you wish it or not. There aren't any other khagans around."
Altani huffed. He was right, of course. "I could kill them all. Would solve the problem."
"You can't murder your way out of everything you don't want to do."
"But it a solution that we use more often than everyone would like to admit," she said, increasing in volume. "Everyone likes to pretend that I'm nice and considerate, and I don't enjoy fixing problems with violence. No one asks me what I think about this shit, because they know they won't like the answer. I fight, I fix, and I fetch, and no one asks me if I want to do this anymore. I hate helping people who call me a savage behind my back! Nhaama above, I just want-"
Altani sighed deeply, leaning her head over the back of the bench. He could tell that she was tired. The weight on her shoulders had lessened slightly since their excursion at the end of the universe, but even he could see what a toll it had taken. She was a good woman despite her constant claims to the contrary. She had done a lot of work here, despite the constant stares of some of the locals. She did the right thing, she just didn't always do it with manners. He didn’t blame her for losing patience with it all. Perhaps soon there would be time for her to get the rest she deserved. He watched her slowly sit up again.
"I'll go beg from the Steppe, but they can still fuck right off with being envoy. Alphy can do that. I never want to come back here again." The twins might balk at the change in plans, but surely they couldn’t begrudge their warrior a slight reprieve.
Estinen nodded. "Tis something we can agree on," he said, looking around at the barren snowscape. "Not even a damn hotspring to liven up the place. I thought Coerthas cold, but this place would freeze a tit off a dragon."
She began to laugh and Estinen smiled. He stood up and offered a hand out to her. With a final chuckle, she took it and got off the bench.
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It's one thing when Suit Saeran's MC turns into pocket-sized but I think it's the whole other mess if Suit Saeran himself turns into one. I can only imagine how miserable it is for him to do his work now that he's so small. Can he even get angry or insult MC at this point because sir, it's hard for me to take you seriously with you being so tiny right now. Hoho what a fun concept to explore! -book anon-
Suit Saeran would not be happy in the slightest. He can’t even do his work. He can’t type or hack at this size. Even if he’s big enough to tap the keys on a cell phone, it’s never going to be good enough to make the fight he needs to make against the RFA. He’s going to have the biggest tantrum he’s ever had in his life because of this. He will lash out, kicking and shoving at everything because he has no time to figure out how to solve this. He has no time to figure out what he can do to fix this. The worst thing about this is the fact that he wouldn’t be able to travel around the complex by himself.
If he woke up this way at his desk, there’s nothing he could do but wait for someone to come and find him. If they did find him, it’s likely that Rika will use him as a prop against you to make you do what she wants. I can see her very much warning you plainly that his life is in her hands, literally. So, what are you going to do now? You have to do what she wants for Saeran. Even if that means lying to the RFA... even if that means pretending to agree with Mint Eye. You’re at her mercy, too.
You’re both powerless to stop the Savior... isn’t it funny? it doesn’t matter how big, tall, scary, or sweet you are. You’re still powerless when someone has the cards in their hand over your head. It’s possible that V could try to navigate the situation to help you two, but Rika would be even more on guard now that Suit Saeran could easily slip through her fingers. She knows how to make use of the pawns in her hand and she will keep her winning hand waiting for the right time to use.
He would realize that his strength is meaningless to Rika a lot faster in this situation... because he’s not doing anything but being a puppet for her. She’s ignoring his demands and speaking over him. He can’t ignore it when he’s this small. it’s more obvious to him that he’s just... he’s just a toy. You never were a toy, were you? It was him. But, I love the idea of MC being the one to rescue him instead of the other way around this time. It would flip the script on its head to be the one to lurk through Mint Eye to locate him.
Though, I will admit you’re right. The image of Suit Saeran trying to scream at you while you’re holding him in your palms has to be the funniest thing. He’s just jumping up and down! You don’t even understand half of what he’s saying but it isn’t scary at all. In fact, he’s about as menacing as a little bug that could no real wrong to anyone. He would never admit it, but I think a hug wouldn’t hurt this time around.
#book anon#pocket saeran#ask#mod kait#suit saeran#saeran#saeran choi#choi saeran#mystic messenger#mysme#mm#saeran mm#saeran mysme#saeran mystic messenger#mystic messenger saeran#mysme saeran#mm saeran
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First time watching ToH S1E19 (Young Blood, Old Souls). Thoughts below:
Detailed thoughts:
A fantastic finale to wrap up the first season of ToH! The team have already set a high benchmark for themselves, I wonder how they’ll surpass it in the next 2(-ish, I heard season 3 is made up of 3 specials).
These two episodes have been great for demonstrating Eda and Luz’s relationship. Although they’re only known each other for so long, Eda and Luz truly love and care for each other, willing to sacrifice their own health and well-being to protect each other. Luz puts it best herself, “But we’re a family! Us weirdos have to stick together, remember?” That heartbreaking callback to the first episode from Luz really gets at the core of what makes their relationship work.
Luz’s only friends or family that we know of is her mother. Before coming to the Boiling Isles, Luz had no one else, and now that she seems to be stuck there indefinitely (w/ no reception, wifi, or way to charge her phone), she doesn’t even have that. At this point, Eda and everyone else really are the only family that Luz has left.
The same is true for Eda before Luz arrived. Back then, Eda only had King, Hooty, and Owlbert. Her parents are out of the picture, and her only sister pledged herself to a group dedicated to hunting her down and capturing her. Eda made her living scrounging junk that she got from the human world and beached trash slugs, struggling w/ a lifelong curse.
Over the course of the series, Luz’s overwhelming optimism has soothed Eda’s innate pessimism and allowing her to see the joy in things that she’s long dismissed like Moonlight Conjurings, coventions, and attending magic schools by looking at them through the eyes of someone who never had these opportunities to begin with.
Meanwhile, Eda’s pessimism has tempered Luz’s optimism, teaching her to be ready and weary of worldly dangers like Adegast, as well as teaching her patience and resourcefulness (key skills for Luz’s understanding and mastery of glyphs). In a way, Luz and Eda are both students and mentors to each other, especially now that Eda can no longer do magic herself either.
After showing us Lilith at her worst, this episode counters that by revealing the rest of Lilith’s backstory with the thoughts and feelings that drove her actions. Lilith cursed her sister out of jealousy, and due to her refusal to be proven wrong by her sister, she never admitted the truth to her, no matter how much she regretted it, assuring herself that she could solve everything herself by just capturing Eda and having her join the EC w/ her.
I will admit, even though I know the episode wants me to sympathize here w/ Lilith, even if just a little, I still find it hard to forgive her. I can’t believe the fact that Lilith cursed her own sister to become part of the EC, even if she did think it was temporary. Lilith couldn’t just accept Eda beating her and be proud of her sister’s accomplishments? She couldn’t have just waited to apply to the EC later when another spot opened up?
Although similar in setup and premise, I don’t have any issues w/ Amity when she revealed why she stopped being friends w/ Willow for one main reason: Amity was forced to stop seeing Willow. If she didn’t, her parents would have done everything in their power to destroy Willow’s future as a witch. Amity sacrificed her friendship for the sake of Willow. Lilith voluntarily sacrificed her sister’s future for the sake of her own.
While Lilith’s decision to share Eda’s curse at the end of the episode has helped rehabilitate her character, it doesn’t change the years of suffering that Eda went through because of her. Though, ultimately, whether Lilith deserves forgiveness is up to Eda. If she is able to forgive her sister for what she’s done to her, then it’s best to accept her decision.
Edit: With that said, and after some discussion, Amity isn’t without faults either. Although the initial reason why Amity let go of Willow as a friend is understandable, that doesn’t justify Amity’s patronizing behavior towards Willow or her passiveness in letting Boscha and her gang bully Willow for years afterwards, even if she did so to avoid “showing weakness.” Like w/ Lilith and Eda this episode, it was ultimately up to Willow whether to accept her apology or not.
Moving on to Emperor Belos, we’ve gotten a little bit more information about him this episode. As established, Belos instituted the Coven system to limit people’s ability to use magic to 9 basic types based on his claims that doing so goes against the Titan’s wishes. The truth of whether or not Belos himself believes that has yet to be seen. If he doesn’t, he didn’t drop the act in front of Luz.
It isn’t clear what Belos’ plan is, but I suspect it’s to unite the Boiling Isles/the Demon Realms w/ the Human Realm on the Day of Unity given his obsession w/ the portal and his assurance to Luz that he won’t simply invade it. The one question I have is Belos’ motivation for this, but as established above, unless we find out more about Belos and his powers, I can only guess as to the reasons why.
As with any good finale, this episode has completely changed the series’ status quo. Both Eda and Lilith are outlaws now and have to deal w/ a weakened curse. Similarly, Lilith’s magic is weakened while Eda can no longer do magic at all, like Luz. Whether Luz, Willow, and Gus will be allowed to continue studying at Hexside is unclear, as is Amity’s aspirations of joining the EC (considering her idol, Lilith, almost got petrified by them along w/ her crush’s mentor).
Plot threads that still need to be resolved: Amity’s crush on Luz, who is writing letters impersonating Luz to her mother, finding a cure for the curse (if there is one), the truth about Belos, the Day of Unity, and how to return Luz to the Human Realm (if she ever does).
General thoughts:
History book! We’re getting lore! Who’s the author?!
The giant skeletons are Titans! Also, the Boiling Isles are part of the Demon Realms, or at least connected to them.
So all magical species evolved on the Boiling Isles? Then where did the Titans get their magic? Is it because they’re demons?
Of course only the supreme leader and their cadre of most loyal enforcers have full control over magic. Why would it be any way else?
Wait, are wild witches turned into stone? I thought they were just bound to a coven. Is that what’s going to happen to Lilith when Eda escapes?
Oh, we’re not even getting the OP! We’re just going straight into the story!
Eda has quite the armory! I don’t rate keeping a loaded crossbow on the wall tho, that’s a lot of unnecessary tension on the bow limbs, not to mention how dangerous that is in general.
King sees Eda as his family ;v;
Belos’ eyes are blue now. Did he just drain the magic from someone else’s palisman? Oh, they change w/ what magic he uses?
I don’t see how Lilith honestly expects Eda to just roll over and submit to the Emperor, especially after admitting that she cursed her. If Lilith promised that to the Emperor, then I can only wonder what he’ll do when Eda’s inevitably rejects his offer.
The Wild Witch of Bonesborough is an amazing title.
Does Belos want to take over the human world?
Unsurprisingly, Belos refuses to cure Eda. I shouldn’t be surprised that a blindly loyal ideologue accepts every word that their leader tells them, but I am still disappointed in Lilith. Also, Lilith cursed her sister but can’t even undo it herself? Or is it just because she was in front of the Emperor and still processing his betrayal?
Perry Porter? Per Reporter?
First Petrification in 30 years? So that’s this world’s version of capital punishment.
The Conformatorium? We’re returning there again? Will we get to see-
Warden Wrath! Oh, he’s way less scary when Luz has magic. Either that, or Luz is way more scary when she has magic. I’m leaning towards both.
“Draw me a map!”
It seems like the Emperor’s grasp on power isn’t as tight as he thinks if the common people have doubts on whether Eda should be petrified in the first place.
Piniet, Bump, and Snaggleback crowd cameo!
So the regular guards can’t use magic?
Eda ;-;
“But we’re a family!” ;_;
NO, NOT THE PORTAL!
“I love you, Eda.”
“I love you too, kiddo.” ;_; o7
THEY’RE GOING TO THE HUMAN WORLD?!
GLYPH MAGIC DOESN’T WORK THERE?!
Lilith used to have curly hair. I wonder what causes all the hair color changes on the Boiling Isles (first the Cawthornes, then the Blights).
Are those the Blights in the background?
Eda turns into an owl demon and the EC just throws stones at her until she leaves? I’m doubting the EC’s competency more and more each episode.
Lilith’s magic still works? I guess that’s because the human world isn’t as innately magical as the Boiling Isles w/ the Titan, so glyphs fizzle out, but a witch’s magic is a innate part of their biology.
EC military band uniform!
Lilith wants Luz to rescue Eda on her own? I mean, sure, her glyph magic has gotten better (look how much she can do w/ those small sheets of paper), but just Luz on her own?
WHY DOES BELOS HAVE A FLESHY THRONE ROOM UNDER THE CONFORMATORIUM?
Augustus Porter! That’s his full name!
Eyeball eater! Potion seller! Principal Bump!
OH! That’s a disaster for the Emperor! His regime has to cover up the live footage of a chanting crowd demanding for Eda’s release, the most wanted witch on the Boiling Isles!
OH THAT PAN FROM THE CROWD TO BELOS AND LUZ UNDERGROUND!
SHE GOT HIM IN THE EYE!
What’s his scheme! He doesn’t want to invade the human world?
THE PORTAL! LUZ JUST DESTROYED HER ONLY WAY HOME!
WHAT! THE PAIN SHARING SPELL!
DOUBLE HETEROCHROMIA SISTERS!
AWW THE LIGHT SPELL! JUST LIKE THE OP! LUZ’S FIRST SPELL IS NOW EDA’S FIRST TOO!
IS THAT THE NEW SEASON ANTAGONIST?
THIS SERIES HAS ALSO HAS A SECRET BASEMENT PORTAL?!
OH THEY CHANGED THE ED TOO!
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Soo Won Analysis time.
Okay, so a couple of things to preface.
1. I hate Soo Won’s guts. I want to punch him in the mouth and stab him in the heart. The author has painstakingly set him up for an in-character redemption arc, and I want Soo Won to spit on it and die for his hubris. (fun fact, he could totally go either way at this point in the manga, redemption or not, and both would be extremely satisfying, but I personally hope he’s one of those that can’t admit he’s wrong and dies)
2. It’s a very personal, nuanced hatred, which I will describe in great detail. I fully acknowledge that Soo Won is an incredibly complex character that the narrative slowly draws out in great detail his personality, decisions, drives, and relationships. He is challenged constantly through the story, revealing his weaknesses and humanity. I still hate him.
That said, let’s get to it. Analysis under the cut.
So, first thing’s first, Soo Won as a person.
Soo Won is a child genius, charismatic, and deeply invested in learning about the world around him. He isn’t satisfied with just being able to be smarter than the adults around him, he goes out and learns as much as he can. He has Mundok train him whenever the opportunity presents itself, he’s studied strategy from a young age, liked to read forbidden stories, made friends with crusty, violent information brokers, and made contacts and connections with all the adults he was exposed to, using that charisma that is one part genuine interest in everything everyone has to say, one part cunning manipulation, and one part confidence/conviction in his goals.
He works hard to become skilled, becomes skilled easily, is strategic enough to purposefully hide his skill instead of seeking praise, and his skills combined with people underestimating him means that by the time he’s ready to stage a coup, everything comes easy to him and it’s really infuriating. He has, like, 10 days and solves the Earth Tribe’s economic problems while revealing an in-depth understanding of the loyalty and mechanics of the people there. He easily outwits seasoned generals on the battlefield, in the first instance of Fire Tribe + Kai against Kouka, Sending the divers to sink ships in the Water Tribe conflict with South Kai, and when retrieving Lili from Sei.
That being said, he is a strategy genius. He understands how people move and moves them. He is not a hard logic genius. He will follow and trust instincts, he will be guided by emotions, even though he desperately wishes that he wasn’t. Soo Won wants to be a hard logic genius, to claim that his actions are guided by logical need instead of emotion,
but it’s shown time and time again that he’s not.
His relationship with Hak and Yona really show why I hate him. I’m not sure which to talk about first, so I’m going to talk about Yona, because that relationship is what really makes me want to stab him.
He has been friends with Yona basically all her life. He watched her struggle when her mother died, watched her willfully defy her father to do what she thought was best, Soo Won taught her about horses and did everything he could to make her happy.
But he never actually saw her, and that’s the entire theme of his relationship with Yona. We’re introduced to this theme early on, when it’s revealed that Soo Won never saw her as a woman, but as a little sister. He says that she changes how he sees her, and starts to consider deeper feelings for her, but that’s a lie. He didn’t change how he saw her at all, he just wanted her to cool it and play good little girl until he killed her father and took her throne.
This is reinforced when he is walking towards his crown during his coronation and he gives himself a moment to wonder if he really made the right choice, now that he was King, and all it cost was “the girl who loved him the most” and “his right hand man” (he believed them dead at the time, in case you forgot)
That’s what Yona is to him. A girl who loved him.
I want him dead for reducing her to that. He keeps that image of her, one of the innocent girl in love, all the way up to chapter 229, an image that he never should have had in the first place.
Yona was easy for him to put aside, because he saw no way she would be of help to his goals.
Hak was harder for him to let go. He looked up to Hak, admired his straightforward way of thinking and his skill. Upon Yona greeting him in the castle, (when he was supposed to be coming for her birthday!) his first instinct is to look for Hak. In the flashbacks, Soo Won is sometimes taking care of Yona and always admiring Hak.
Yona was a girl who loved him, and Hak was his right hand man. The foil helps illustrate that Soo Won still is not seeing Yona.
And yeah, we all know that Yona was annoying before her character growth, but she was headstrong and determined to get her way, she was kind to her father, and strong throughout her isolated life. Soo Won didn’t see that, and when she grew and developed those traits, he still refused to see that!
Lot’s of people have focused on Soo Won and Hak’s relationship, so I’ll keep this brief, because while Hak resolving things with Soo Won is a major point in Hak’s character arc, the major point in Soo Won’s character arc will be Soo Won resolving things with Yona.
There’s a decent amount of romantic coding in the scenes between Hak and Soo Won on Soo Won’s part, certainly enough that whether you read it as platonic or romantic, you can’t doubt how deep their relationship was. Hak would have chosen Soo Won and Yona against the whole world, they were his king and queen. Soo Won was the only person good enough for Yona, the one he would readily set aside his own feelings for. They raised a hawk together. Compare Soo Won’s irritation with having Yona and the dragons brought back to the palace, to the way he became undone at seeing Hak for the first time doing chores with the Sky Military.
And it’s Hak, bloody and beaten, bringing him the medicine, that finally punches through his several lines of self-delusion and makes him realize that “geeze, maybe you can be a good king without being a terrible person?” Unfortunately for Soo Won, he’s not going to go anywhere with his redemption arc until he sees Yona as more than some love-struck stupid little girl.
Remember what I said about him not being a cold logic genius, even though he wants to be?
When Soo Won was a kid and he claimed that he would give Il a chance to show that he could be a good king, that was him trying to be logical. You realize it’s B.S. when you notice that Soo Won killed Il the exact same way Il killed Yuhan. There were several ways to kill him that would have been much less distracting/implicating. Poison. Suffocation. A fire. Having someone else kill Il.
But no, Soo Won goes to talk to Il about the future of the kingdom, then stabs him through the chest with a sword. Emotion. He didn’t want Il dead, he wanted Il devasted, to know that his killer was the nephew he helped raise and to know exactly who he killed that caused his death to happen. (So Happy Il’s goodness robs Soo Won of that. It’s no fun if your victim accepted you were going to murder him and was determined to show you love and forgiveness anyway)
Soo Won’s every decision regarding Yona has the exact same situation. He tries to pretend he’s being logical, but because he is so determined to put Yona aside, and because he refuses to see her as she actually is, he ends up making very illogical choices.
I’m going to talk about three.
First, peace talks with Xing. From a logical standpoint, if Xing wants to surrender without a fight, that’s fantastic news! His reputation is literally doing the work for him! He’s capturing countries without losing a single soldier, how many kings can do that? He should have immediately started incorporating it into his plans. Making sure Xing meant what they said, setting up contingencies for the peace talks to go south and figuring out what nobles to appoint as overseers while mining Yona for as much information as possible about the current state of affairs in Xing and with Xing’s leaders. That would have been logical. The best thing for Kouka.
But no. He ignores Yona, tells her he’s going to battle, and to stay out of his way. Why? It’s not because he’s suspicious Yona is lying. We don’t see much of his thought process here, so this one has the most guesswork of my three examples. What it ultimately comes down to, I think, is that Soo Won believes Yona is proposing these talks because she’s innocent and believes peace talks can solve anything, when the only real answer is violence.
At this point, combined with his thoughts during his coronation and his thoughts about putting Yona aside, to Soo Won Yona basically represents the innocence he killed that night. He can’t listen to Yona, because she’s emotional and weak, and her ideas all must be coming from a place of emotion and weakness.
(nevermind that Yona knows better than to trust in Soo Won’s mercy)
It’s only when Yona challenges him with logic, needlessly wasting his men’s lives, condoning Yuhon’s atrocities and challenging his fitness to be king (subtly implying that he’s the one coming from a place of emotion, wanting to be like his father) that he listens to her. And even then, he doesn’t believe she’s right, he just needs her to stop interfering and will give her a chance to stop the war by requiring circumstances and a timeframe that is nearly impossible.
And when questioned about Yona and the dragons being representatives of the King, due to their literal founding myth, he falls back on logic. Nope, he doesn’t need gods that stand by and do nothing, he only let Yona deliever a message because it was logically convenient. No credit to her.
Next decision. Kye-sook brings Yona and the Dragons back, (much to his displeasure because he doesn’t need the gods power, doesn’t want them to be part of his glory, and he’s trying to put Yona aside dangit!). Kye-sook arranges a tournament to show off the dragon’s powers and show Yona off as Soo-Won’s bride.
When asked if he planned this, Soo Won says that when Kye-sook proposed it, he saw no downsides.
There’s a ton of downsides!!!!! Dragon warriors aren’t puppets, they are loyal to Yona, and they’re much more likely to rebel if forced to dance for Kye-Sook’s powertrip while Yona is forced into a farce that is a cruel mockery of the future she once imagined. And when Yona refuses to marry him? When Yona has enough and finally says the truth about his cruelty, and all the people that are going to believe her because of everything she’s done, it will ruin him??? When the Dragons follow her orders instead of his, it will undermine him? When Soo Won and Yona don’t actually get married, when it gets out she’s with Hak, it will cause a bunch of unnecessary problems and drama?
There are so many upsides to allying with Yona at this point. Attempting to mend bridges, now that she seen the state of the kingdom. Xing has declared her central to their continuing cooperation. The Fire Tribe worships her and the dragons. Lili made sure everyone in the Water Tribe is aware of their debt to her for her help in fixing the Nadia trade. The Wind tribe will side with her and Hak at the drop of a hat. Logically, the best way to keep the tribes unified is to ally with Yona and deal with her honestly.
But that comes to close to making a decision because it would make Yona happy. And he killed that part of himself. Soo Won doesn’t trust himself to analyze the situation clearly, so he lets Wormtongue Kye-Sook make decisions regarding Yona. Because he refuses to see her as anything more than the innocent past he put behind him.
The third decision that I’m going to mention was when he was going to straight up kill My-nyan because she knew about the Crimson Blood disease because she was born with it too. Nevermind that if she was going to tell the King of South Kai about a weakness this big, she would have already done it. Never mind that the physicians could try riskier measures on her for curing the disease than they could on him and see what stuck. Never mind that she was as much a victim of this curse as him, no empathy found.
Yona jumps in and says “Don’t kill her” and Soo Won again only sees a stupid little girl that doesn’t understand why it’s necessary to keep his illness a secret. Doesn’t she understand that there’s no mercy when mercy allows for error?
As if Yona would ever credit him with mercy.
Yona tells him it’s stupid to go and kill the Emperor’s favorite concubine, especially when they put on that whole show to convince people that the royal family didn’t kill a South Kai Diplomat.
Yona clears his head for a moment, makes him see logic once again, and My-Nyan is allowed to live. A merciful and logical solution.
But does that convince him to see Yona as something other than a stupid little girl?
Nope. When looking for a successor, he asks the immortal Zeno, and is shocked at the proposal that Yona, of all people, might be a good successor, and then doesn’t even give it a second thought, no matter how many times she’s proven herself. She’s just a girl that loves him after all.
He treats the gods and people of faith with the same “pretending it’s only logical when it clearly comes from a place of emotion” attitude. The gods are CLEARLY not sitting on the sidelines like he accused in his coronation speech. Their avatars are actively running around, he knows from reading his mother’s journal that the Oracles his father murdered actually did know the future and the truth, and were the voice of the gods acting on Kouka. He knows that Yona is the reincarnation of the first king. But everyone time someone brings up the gods, he casts the gods aside, say they have nothing to do with him.
That’s not logical, that’s supporting his father’s worldview to his own detriment. The gods are clearly real, and it’s stupid to be challenging them when he’s about to go to war.
Finally Hak, against all logic and reason, offering the medicine he said he would get to someone he swore he would kill, breaks through Soo Won’s stupidity. Earlier he had been trying to put aside Hak’s disappearance during the flood, telling himself not to consider where Hak might have gone or if he was still alive.
When like, logically, he should? Hak is worth 1,000 soldiers, proven by his previous battles. Geun-tae is out of commission, and the earth tribe’s morale is tied to Hak now as they hold the border. Yona and the dragons, again, valuable allies, depend on and love Hak. It actually makes the most sense to put forth all his brain power and armies to finding what became of him.
But that’s too close to the Child Soo Won he put aside that cared about Hak and Yona being happy, so he scolds himself for it.
I hate him because he actively chooses cruelty and disguises it as logic while putting on a ‘bumbling nice-guy’ façade in order to better manipulate people. I want to stab him in the name of every real person that does the same thing.
Then Hak comes back with the medicine, after helping turn the tide of the battle, and Soo Won finally gets a clue that maybe he’s being stupid. And maybe Yona, with her goodness and desire to help people, does have something to offer the future of Kouka he envisions.
Soo Won is only just realizing the possibility of this. And he’s been shown enough times that his path isn’t enough on its own that it makes sense for him considering an apology and a change of character/ideals. His redemption arc has reached the “maybe I want to be good?” part.
Like I said before. At this point, he either bows his apology to Yona, finally sees her for who she is, and works to set her and Hak up as his successors, or he refuses to betray the memory of his father or admit to his own folly, letting his pride send Kouka into destruction as he turns Yona and Hak back into direct enemies and attempts to conquer Kai from his deathbed, leaving no clear successor and Yona no choice but to kill him/let him die/take back the throne.
A middle path wouldn’t be satisfying at this point. I’m hoping he rejects redemption, mostly because i hate him and want him to suffer for all the above reasons, but I’m ok with him bowing to Yona too.
#Yona of the Dawn#Soo Won#Meta#long post#Yona#Son Hak#thecagedsong overshares#my gripping hatred of Soo Won#but with citations to text#Don't worry about me#it's only a small spiral into madness#I swear
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One of the nice things about rewatching c2 (and one of the things I hoped for when I decided to do it) is finding that grasp I had on Beau before she and Yasha got together. Because I have spent so much time reveling in their growth that I have forgotten the qualities that informed all the fics I did before then - and they were and are my favorites. I personally felt on some level like Yasha and Beau would not have settled perfectly into things with their issues fully solved, and while I love to bask in the joy that canon gave us with how they did come together, I don’t feel like there was enough room for a more realistic exploration of what it means to feel safe after years of the opposite. Like, both of them have coping mechanisms that have served them for years and even with conscious effort you don’t just get rid of those once you feel safe. In fact, in my experience, safety itself can often trigger a lot of old behaviors if you literally are unused to it. Like if you aren’t constantly watching out for yourself your brain thinks something is wrong and it needs to be even more defensive and if you aren’t on the lookout for it it’ll mess you up.
Just thinking about how Beau required being beaten to near-unconsciousness to ever acknowledge that she wanted to be touched or to seek it out, how her association with touch as a concept is linked to her feeling of vulnerability and it’s a great thing that she wants to give that vulnerability to Yasha but I personally built my entire engagement with fandom on the push-pull of emotional constipation and being a bit of a fucked-up mess doing her best. It’s just nice, as I go through the rewatch, to be able to pick back up on all of that. Beau’s sense of feeling unsafe never had anything to do with Yasha - it wasn’t personal, it just kept her alive for a long time and there’s more value to me in playing out those insecurities and efforts (she’s bad at it, stumbling, but trying) than staying solely in the place where everything is great.
I do feel like Yasha had a more explicit and natural growth that we were able to see go further than Beau’s. We watched Beau grow enough to want to heal, finally, to set down all of that mistrust and open up, but we actually saw a lot of Yasha’s healing. I don’t think it’s unbalanced for her to be ahead of Beau, I think she knows Beau and what she’s asking for and getting into and that probably terrifies Beau as much as it delights her.
I’m just rambling at this point but I can’t wait to get my hands back inside of fics that lean on the very real issues the both of them face in the wake of the chantry and Kamordah and, eventually, beyond. I miss the bend before the break, the part of the story where we knew their feelings for each other and they knew their own feelings but not the other’s, where every interaction is layered with wanting something neither of them are even sure how to let themselves have or how to ask for it, especially since asking for it necessitates a kind of vulnerability they wouldn’t ask the other to show even if they could get past their own. I like characters with problems. It’s nice to be back in canon where I can see them because fanon has the overwhelming tendency, well-meaning, to scrub them out in favor of domestic bliss. And that bliss is beautiful and hard-fought, but it is also very, very secondary to what drew me to Beau and Yasha in the first place: someone who is unused to the freedom to choose, unsure how to even want, and someone who has only known want and fought tooth and nail for the power to choose what happens to her her entire life. Yasha learns to want and Beau is in many ways her blueprint. Beau gives up the little bit of control necessary to admit to herself that Yasha has gotten to her badly. And then they find a way to meet in the middle speaking the other’s language and ugh - they kill me. I love them so much.
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Regarding the s3 fight I 100% agree with you, both parties were at fault for it but I'll never forgive the writers how they solved the issue. Jonathan apologized to Nancy, saying how wrong he was, in my opinion he never really doubted her story that there was something wrong with the rats, he admitted himself that was something weird going on. He was frustrated with losing the job so he said things out of anger.
Nancy on the other hand never apologized for her comments regarding Jonathan's poor family situation. She just said "I hope you never doubt me again". I don't think she truly understands his situation, she definitely has a hard time emphasizing with others when it doesn't concerns her personally. I think she is an interesting character but man this girl can't admit her faults and the show never truly adresses it as well.
Another example is the whole Steve situation in s2, both were at fault but only Steve took the blame. Nancy emotionally cheated on him for a year and idk how you interpret the fight after the party but in my opinion they were not clearly broken up when she slept with Jonathan. Like I said Steve was not perfect but it's so stupid how only he was made responsible (in the show) for their breakup when Nancy wasn't a good girlfriend as well. When they talked at the Byers house Nancy should have had the guts to tell him she is sorry too, or at least it's not okay after Steve said that to her. And then s3 happened and yet again she can't say she's sorry, idk if she actually thinks she's in the right in both situations or if she just can't say it.
In s4 a similar situation occurs with Robin at the library, first of all I hated how Robin's clear autistic traits were used as comedy, oh look she is annoying Nancy haha. However after a while Nancy should have said sorry for being so mean in the beginning which ofc never happened. I get it her friend died and this girl she doesn't know won't shut up, but still doesn't give her the right to treat Robin the way she did. She could have explained herself instead of being mean. Nancy only started to tolerate Robin after she was useful to the quest and Robin reassured her nothing is going on with Steve.
I actually followed your blog because I loved your insights on Nancy because I have to admit I struggle with her character. I love to read your takes and I can appreciate her more but for the reasons I listed here she still remains one of my lesser favorites of the show. Partially it has something to do with how she is written, like how her flaws never get truly adressed or acknowledged as such in the show, she is treated as if everything she does is perfect by other characters you know. And how she treats said characters and seemingly can't emphasize with others when it doesn't concern her.
I truly hope I didn't offend you, I do really love your takes on her and like I said you gave me new insights.
Okay first I want to say I really appreciate this ask! It’s very kind of you to follow my blog, and I think your opinions stated here are totally valid! I can 100% understand not vibing with a character, and this is a really respectful way of handling a difference in opinion! I don’t want it to come across that I think everyone who dislikes Nancy is misogynistic, I hope that’s not how my earlier post came across! I’m going to explain a little the way I interpret these situations based on the way I see Nancy, but this is just my thought process/feelings and I’m not trying to like argue you down or change your mind!
I’d like to talk about her and Robin first. You mention Robin’s having autistic traits and those traits being used as comedy. I can’t speak to that part of her characterization because I’m not autistic myself, but I would definitely think that choosing to make those traits a joke is an ignorant at best, mean spirited at worst writing choice. The way I read the situation on watching was that Nancy was very frightened and upset by the events of the proceeding day, especially the fact that… she may have gotten (in her mind) another one of her friends killed. She dragged Fred to the crime scene because she wanted to get to the truth of what happened, and then he died. I might be misremembering, but I don’t think at that time they’d figured out the way Vecna selected his victims, so for all she knew he was dead because of her. I also think she was under a lot of pressure to solve the case, since all of the usual “adults” she would turn to for help (Hopper, Joyce, Murray, and Jonathan) were all gone. She wasn’t around for Steve and Robin’s Russia investigation in s3, so she doesn’t know what they’re actually capable of. For her, she’s being paired off with a girl she doesn’t know, who doesn’t have the same experience level with Upside down related things as she does, who is then criticizing her on her lead (that she’s already feeling insecure about). I don’t blame Robin for doing so, but it definitely wouldn’t endear her to Nancy. Nancy isn’t really chatty (she hasn’t had the chance to be) and she’s obviously taking the situation very seriously. She’s always trying to be mature and adult, and she’s used to working with Jonathan, who is also very reserved and serous. so I’m sure Robin’s method of coping with the stressful situation probably came off as her not taking things seriously. Nancy is worried this won’t pan out and they’ll be left with no leads, and Robin is basically telling her, “yeah this seems like bullshit.” which it did! don’t get me wrong! it was a very thin lead. but I know I don’t react positively to giving my best effort and having someone make me feel inadequate. That whole scene reads to me of two girls who literally don’t know each other, have never spent and significant time together, with very different personalities and ways of approaching things, being forced together by circumstances and having to learn to deal with it. Robin reads it as Nancy being jealous over Steve, but it came across as genuine frustration and stress response to me. They’re an “unlikely pairing/duo” situation, they’re supposed to butt heads and have friction at first, and then grow to love and appreciate each other as they spend time together. This is a pretty common cliche (the “quirky/unorthodox” one and the “serious/by the book” one), so I never took it as Nancy hating/being mean to Robin. And I’ll say… being frustrated with someone isn’t the same as being cruel to them, and I think Nancy was actually trying very hard to remain polite under the circumstances. Robin is just very aware that her personality isn’t always taken well, and so she’s trying to get ahead of it by addressing even small signs of irritation on Nancy’s part. I also think it’s relevant that… they’re 17/18. Sometimes teenagers are a little rude or snarky, they roll their eyes or get a little huffy… I wouldn’t point to those things as unforgivable meanness, especially under the circumstances.
Speaking to the Steve situation is harder, because I don’t think that she was actually in the wrong on that one. Nancy was deeply traumatized by the events of season one. She’s doing everything she can to go back to normal and cope with the loss of her best friend, but it clearly isn’t working. She’s breaking down completely. Steve is a teenage boy with kind of low emotional intelligence at that point, so I don’t think he was like purposefully ignoring her pain or anything. But the scene at the party is so painful to watch, she’s drunk, she’s 16, she having a full emotional break down over feeling like everyone wants to move on from and forget the thing that is clearly haunting her. And the only thing that Steve is worried about is the fact that she isn’t in love with him. Again, I understand that would be heartbreaking to hear… but if you really loved someone, imo, you couldn’t see them in that much pain and then just walk away (and leave them drunk and sobbing at a house party). I think people blame the break up on Steve because instead of trying to talk things out with her or help her work through the things she was dealing with, he got angry and walked away. I always read the fight in the alley as a break up scene, and I believe that’s what it was intended to be. Nancy can’t give him what he wants in that moment (her love), and so Steve walks away from her. Their priorities were in different places, and that doesn’t make either of them a bad person. At that point in time, Steve still cared about being “King of Hawkins” and not getting shown up by Billy in gym. Nancy was dealing with her guilt over Barb’s death while also trying to get justice against the people who ACTUALLY got her killed. She’s risking her life to bring down the lab. High school problems don’t matter to her, she is fundamentally a different person than she was at the beginning of season one. Steve isnt, not yet, and I think it’s understandable that the relationship she pursued at that point in her life no longer fits the person she has become. Now of course there were gentler, more emotionally intelligent ways for her to let him down gently… but again. She’s a teenager, even if she is mature for her age. I don’t think the fact that she had a messy break up with her first boyfriend makes her a bad person. Imo Steve ended the relationship out of hurt and anger, regretted it, and was taking her the flowers to apologize and get back together. That’s what he was apologizing for, the way things ended and the fact that he wasn’t able to be there for her the way she needed him to be (which again, isn’t his fault, he’s also just a kid and isn’t a bad person for not being able to handle adult problems).
The jonathan situation in s3 is, to me, a writing flaw. They gave them plenty of screen time in the early part of the season (aka the buildup to the fight), but they didn’t actually get a chance in the latter part of the season to sit down and actually talk things out. The “apology” is rushed, but to me most of the emotional moments in season 3 are. Now. In my opinion. Jonathan was much more cruel in their argument than nancy was. Which is understandable, because he was very upset and stressed out. But he is lashing out at her and, frankly, mocking her for thinking she could pursue her dreams. Her “Oliver twist” comment was very out of line, but in the same scene he basically calls her a spoiled brat (which whether you believe is valid or not, is still a hard thing to hear from your boyfriend and would maybe induce and insensitive comment from a teenager). Jonathan is at the paper, being allowed to do the job he’s been hired to do. Nancy is being mocked for wanting to do hers. Nancy spent all of season 2 breaking a top secret government conspiracy, and now she (rightfully) thinks she’s uncovered something strange, and is being told she isn’t capable enough to do it and should leave it to the big boys. My opinion has always been that Nancy uses “uncovering the case” as a way to cope with her feelings of helplessness and guilt. Something weird was going on in her down, but she was too preoccupied to take an interest, and then her friend died because of it. So now she always has to be on top of the story, first on the scene, follow every lead to the bitter end… because if she always knows everything thats happening, she can (maybe) keep anyone else from dying. That’s why the rat story was so important to her in s3. She KNEW something was wrong. To Jonathan it just seems like she’s chasing the high of breaking the big story… she’s putting her pride over their jobs. But to Nancy, what she’s doing is important, and him downplaying it feels just like everyone else who refused to listen to her (about Barb in season 1 especially, when he was the only one who WOULD listen to her). There is one point of yours that Id like to dispute (everything else is totally your right to that opinion). Nancy DOES apologize to Jonathan. She apologizes to him first. She reaches out first (by calling him from the hospital), and then in the elevator she tells him she didn’t mean the things she said, she spoke out of anger. And Jonathan admits that he was wrong to dismiss her fears/intuition that something was up. They were both in the wrong (for the ways they lashed out, not the ways they felt), and they both apologize and forgive each other.
So I guess TL/DR. I don’t think you always have to be sweet/nice to be a good person, or even a kind one. I think that teenagers sometimes respond to things in immature ways. And I think that Nancy’s trauma and guilt, and her overly developed sense of responsibility play into the way she handles herself and others.
#I hope this isn’t too ungodly long#thank you for sharing your thoughts I hope you don’t mind me kind of bouncing my ideas off yours#asks#long post#stranger things spoilers#stranger things#nancy wheeler
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What are the chances?: Part 1.
So that’s what’s going on? Wow...
You know, I wouldn’t have to explain things to you if you’d actually joined us.
But Makoto, I...
I know you decided to quit Future Foundation. And even if I don’t totally agree with your decision, I understand and respect it.
But you don’t have to be there as Branch Leader. You can just be there as our friend. You said yourself you were still gonna try and help out, right?
And it’s not like Yoruko and Sora have any sort of high authority, outside of spokesperson, right?
True...
*Makoto and Hina arrive in the nearby town, and start looking around with a pharmacy. Makoto keeps a list of all the necessary medicines for Seiko in his pocket, given to him by Setsuka.
If Ando really can cure Seiko, then maybe she can give us the location of Organization Zetsubou’s base.
Even if she can’t, she can probably give us some insight into what they’re planning.
You seem super optimistic about all this given the situation we’re in.
What do you mean?
Not to be a negative nancy, but you make it sound so simple. Get Seiko to Ando, get him to cure her, problems solved.
Ando’s been missing for how long now? 7 years, you said, right? What are the chances that we’re just gonna find him now after all that time?
Hina...I think you’re REALLY underestimating my luck. After everything that’s happened, don’t you think it’s more likely now than ever.
Oh yeah, fair point...
*Hina giggles as she thinks about it.
For real though, what do you think actually happened to him? From the way it sounds, he was here one second then gone the next. How does something like that just happen?
Well, if we’re to believe Nagito’s words, Zetsubou have apparently been keeping him a hostage and are dangling his life in front of Inori to make her do what they say.
But...you do still have a point.
I do?
7 Years is a bit excessive. Kanata was only resurrected recently when they were able to build their own machine, and that was right before they kidnapped Seiko and brought Nagito into the Organization.
We don’t know exactly how long Zetsubou have been around, but they must have been planning this for a while. What could they possibly have done with him all this time?
...!
*Hina’s face suddenly goes pale.
Hina? What’s wrong?
I...I just had a terrible thought...
What...?
Ok...so...Dr Ando has been missing for 7 years right? And we believe all that time he’s been contained by Zetsubou somewhere, yeah?
Yes...?
And...Kanata Inori is Dr Ando’s adoptive daughter, right?
Yes, that’s right.
And...because of Kanata’s death, they haven’t seen each other in years. Ando probably doesn’t even know Kanata’s alive, right?
Maybe. Why?
Ok...
Have you ever seen the movie “Oldboy?”
No! Don’t...Even...Go there...!
Oh come on! They could be turning Ando and Inori into the next Dae-su and Mi-do for all we know!
You really think some wacked-off-her-mind weeb like Shirogane wouldn’t be into something like incest!?
What kind of messed up thoughts have you been having to arrive at that conclusion!?
Blame Chan-wook, not me! You know full well I could be right and you just don’t want to think about it!
No! I DON’T want to think about it! Give me literally anything else except that!
*sigh*...
...
Hey, don’t look so guilty...I’m not actually upset at you.
No, it’s just...you’re right about one thing. My mind hasn’t exactly been in a good place lately. I’m not as...well...hopeful as I used to be.
Yeah well...that makes two of us.
Huh?
I don’t really want to admit it, but I’m not as optimistic about this situation as I usually would be.
I know that we can save our friends but...I’m only thinking about what it’ll cost to do so.
Don’t tell anyone else though. For now I need to keep putting on a brave face so they don’t get stressed out either.
Hey! Look, there’s the pharmacy!
*Sure enough, Makoto points towards a brightly lit pharmacy down the street. He starts heading towards it, but Hina hesitates.
Hina? You ok?
Huh? Oh...yeah...Sorry.
*Hina follows him.
What’s wrong? Did I say something bad?
No, no! You didn’t do anything wrong.
Thanks for being honest at least, but...are you sure you want to keep this up?
I don’t have a choice. I’m lucky enough that Komaru and I were able to make up after I snapped and attacked her. I’m not risking that happening with anybody else.
You’re too strong for your own good Makoto.
I wish that were true...
But hey, I’m glad to know that I’m not the only one stressing out. It doesn’t make the situation any better, but...I feel a little happier, if that makes sense.
N-Not that I find your stress and misery happy, I just mean-
I know what you mean. And I hope things get better for us from here on out.
Same. Heck, with your luck on our side, for all we know, the solution to all our problems could be right around the corner. We’ve just gotta look.
Now that’s being TOO optimistic. There’s no way my luck is capable of something like that-
*THUD!*
Ugh!
Woah!
*Makoto turns to head into the pharmacy, but bumps into someone leaving carrying a bag. The bag drops to the floor, and Makoto reaches down and picks it up.
Hah...Sorry about that. Wasn’t looking where I was going.
No, no, I’m sorry, I was in a rush and-
!?
!?
!?
!!!??
!!!??
!!!??
*Each side stares the other one down with tense eyes and shocked expressions for what feels like ages.
Uuuuuuuuuh...Hi~.
...Hi?
GEGH!
WHA-!?
*Out of nowhere, Uchui suddenly books it, running as fast as he can down the street.
What was-!? THAT WAS-!?
Wh-What do we do!?
Wha-!? CHASE HIM!? What do you THINK we should do!?
R-Right!
*Hina and Makoto run down the street after the crazed scientist.
Hina, get Kyoko and the Foundation on the line! We’ve got a physicist to catch!
#danganronpa survivor#danganronpa#danganronpa 1#dr1#oc#makoto naegi#aoi asahina#uchui porosen#ask#rise and shine arc
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