i just want people to know that just because your content doesn’t get many notes, doesn’t mean it isn’t worthwhile. there is someone out there, a living breathing human being, who appreciates it, whose day it made that little bit brighter, and who admires what you do. nothing is a ‘flop’ if it made one person happy.

yccmbftw has gained over 200 new hits in the past two weeks but only 8 comments and they were all from the same person I am grateful for every reader but why are mine the most silent readers anyone’s had. what do I have to do to make people want to comment

My sister in law and I once had a very deep chat where she told me she's a bit jealous of how I'm "capable" of obsessing over interests; I got the feeling that to her it seemed like a specific type of joy she would never really know. In turn, I told her that even though I sometimes wish it had an off switch, I rlly can't imagine a version of myself thay doesn't get joyfully hyperfixated on things, since it's so intrinsic to my personality/neuro-chemistry.

Anyways, I totally relate to that feeling of detached embarrassment, but it was eye-opening to talk abt it with her and see that A) some people really admire the capacity for such "passion" and B) some people genuinely just can't have that experience, which seems both unthinkable and obvious lol

I genuinely can't imagine a life like that for myself either. I've gone through periods of time before where I wasn't hyperfixated on something and genuinely I felt like...deeply empty the entire time. As soon as something new entered my life to fixate on I felt like myself again. I definitely have interests and hobbies that I enjoy in a very normal non-obsessive way but it feels so different and they don't feel like...sustainable. like I'm just living off of bread and milk. idk how else to phrase that. because the things I always hyperfixate on are tv shows and fictional characters I kind of just assumed it came with the territory of being an artist, cuz as a creator it's like...this is what I'm meant to do with my life, right? I know I'm supposed to be telling stories and creating characters and exploring concepts through fiction so it makes perfect sense that I'm depressed without any source of inspiration or rejuvenation. Cuz it's inspiring as hell to be hyperfixated on something!! it gives me endless energy and inspiration to create and that makes me feel amazing.

most of my friends are ND too but I know some of them aren't the same as me in this regard and they've even expressed similar jealousy that they're not someone who obsesses over things. it's both understandable and so weird to me cuz obviously you can't pick and choose what your brain is gonna latch on to but like...you haven't even had ONE time in your life where you spent years only thinking about one thing? not even once? that's unfathomable to me, that's like my entire life.

and while I definitely do not enjoy the embarrassment of having feelings and how upsetting it can be to constantly be distracted from real life tasks that take priority and also feeling self conscious and wondering if I even have a personality sometimes beyond my fave video games/shows/movies, I'm really glad that I'm someone who can experience it cuz it really does feel like I'm just sitting around and waiting if I don't have a story to think about all the time. sometimes I hear people talk about how stressful and sad it is that they feel so deeply and I'm like yeah I mean sometimes but like...what about the joy. what about all the love. there's nothing sad about it! embarrassing sometimes yeah but that's worth it if it means I get to be so deeply happy and excited! I'll complain from time to time but never in a THOUSAND years would I ever want to change this about myself. I will take all the embarrassing annoying feelings if it means I get to experience pure wild autistic joy haha

VINCE IS SO DOWN BAD FOR RODY OH MY GOD??? LITERALLY KILLS HIS EX GIRLFRIEND TO MAKE HIM HAPPY???? THEYVE KNOWN EACH OTHER LESS THAN A WEEK??????

LITERALLY LIKE- MY MAN FELL HARD AND INSANELY. LIKE WHO DOES THAT? I wouldn't have it any other way. Just the way that as soon as Rody came into his life he was like 'I need this man to be so whole-y mine.'

When I was playing the game my pet theory was that he fell for Rody's brand of love, for how he loved Manon (he did say that he spoke of Manon when they first met) and Rody's personality.

(read more because I am so annoying about this game vv)

Something something, how Rody loves so intensely to the detriment of himself (Manon told him to stop giving, to for once in his life realise that he needed to take care of him self and be stable. He can't just account for the other person's needs <- barely know her but I get why Rody was head over heels). How Rody's love is similar to his cooking, burning, burning himself, burning and oh so overwhelming. And I do think Vince wanted the feel of that burn for himself, wanted to feel the warmth and devotion of which he had been so devoid of. To understand what it was he was lacking. How love and cooking go hand in hand in the story, how Vince's dishes were devoid of love, how he can't taste. How Rody's love surely would be strong enough, would be the missing ingredient to allow him to finally taste something. (Also lack of taste going hand in hand with what looks like depression of some sort, or perhaps just apathy for life. How bland his own life may be. How such a love, such a person could perhaps bring some taste to his life.) Vince seems to have killed Manon as a form of trying to show Rody a similar type of love. Giving him something, giving him a meal made out of Rody's own love. A gift since he couldn't give his own brand of love in a way that matters, couldn't give it without showing his own brand of devotion. I do think he 100% had an underlying jealousy and hatred of Manon, how Rody was still stuck up on her. How she never once mentioned Rody when her and Vince dated (though outside of Vince's pov I'm pretty sure Manon was just doing the healthy normal thing by not mentioning an ex?? but Vince is soooo gone) which is obviously a sin (he doesn't seem to take kindly to people who are mean to Rody. Such as the article and Rody's old college classmate) and proof she wasn't deserving enough of Rody's love. But alas she was still a gift and show of love to Rody.

On the personality topic (thought I forgot about that did you?), Rody is such a brash and kind person. A perfect foil for Vincent's more stoic nature. Rody willing to try and befriend Vincent, running into the kitchen to talk to him. He showed a bit of said love to Vince by trying to befriend him and how could Vince not want more? (why wouldn't Vince try to reciprocate in his own way. Make him happy) I mean he seems pretty feared by his cooks, and the people at the party have mentioned that Vince is pretty ruthless, not at all a person many wish to get to know. But Rody is willing to, yet Vince wants his undivided attention...

Okay wow this has gone on way too long uhh I'm 100% open to further discussion especially if I forgot something! And I haven't really looked too much into the game past playing it, so any reveals the creator may have given I'm mostly unaware of and would love to be informed of more!

Anyways tiny Vincent attack!

I am planning to permanently shift to a better CR DR. Where i can easily manifest things + where my aunt is still alive. When she died nobody told me about her in fear that i might get into depression and they told me after 3 days. She and me had very great bond more precious bond then my own family and my parents. Even though she no longer here in this reality I still feel like she is still alive and I want to see her again and hug her again tell her about my achivements because she was the only person who listens to me and believe me on whatever I said also supported me whenever I needed. That's I wanted to enter in void state and permanently shift to better CR. But I have been struggling a lot no matter what I tried. I have entered the void state 2 times but i wasn't aware about it when i was in void state and when i wake up from there i always had mental breakdown. Can you please help me?

Hi! Thanks for the ask honey ❣️

So basically you're planning to permashift to a reality where your aunt is still alive right? Okay, but you don't need the void for it sweetheart. Ik how you're feeling rn cus trust me I've been there too. I understand how you feel. First of all why would you assume that you can't enter the void no matter what you do? You enter the void everytime you're asleep. Yes you do. But actually to permashift you don't even need the void. You can do with just a command or by living in the end, or using subliminals, affirming, visualising, whatever. I mean I don't understand why the void is too overrated and people seem to overcomplicate it in this community. I personally don't like the void even though I've entered it after 2 years. But there's sats, lullaby method, alpha state meditation and many more. The lullaby method and sats are equally as powerful as the void honey. You don't gotta stress about the void.

Second of all, please do work on your self concept and stop overwhelming yourself. Actually I believe self concept isn't necessary but if you're having a hard time please do work on for a week and go on with the void.

If you really wanna enter the void, then I'd recommend doing psych-k sessions and the Wim hof breathing technique with pink noise.

Just remember what ever you do, please make sure you're fulfilled internally. That's the only key to achieving anything ❣️

You're pure consciousness, you're awareness, the God of your reality. Why would the creator be upset or stressing over his own creations? He knows he created it and he has the power to alter it too. So stop worrying baby. You can do it! I'd recommend putting on some music and imagining it (the distraction technique) and then zone out which practically is your pure awareness state where you aren't bothered by your physical realm.

If you still got doubts, you still can dm me, I'd like to help you honey ✨

You can do this! Lots of love ❤

I feel like I need to start talking more about how one of the big things that Duck Prints Press does is open the door to people who could never even get a foot in with traditional publishing or even most medium/"small" presses (we're a small press, but we're really more of a micro-press, I see places calling themselves small presses that are fucktons bigger than we are).

I've got some anecdotal evidence that people avoid the publications of Presses like this one because they think our writing and editing standards are lower - that we're the people who failed to make it in bigger presses because we weren't good enough - and that, consciously and unconsciously, gatekeeping biases on who is and isn't qualified to write lead people to support small presses less than they might support a more established organization.

So...y'all realize that there are a lot of reasons people wouldn't pursue working with trad pub, right? and I don't even mean ethical doubts, and I don't even mean "trad pub doesn't want to publish certain kinds of stories," though those are definitely factors - we're able to give more space to play with themes and genres because we don't focus solely on "is this marketable" as a sales rubric.

But that's not what I consider the biggest difference.

Hi, I'm Claire, and I own Duck Prints Press, and I have a massive history of clinical depression, including being suicidal in the past. I'm a great writer, and I'm not just tooting my own horn, I've got almost 150,000 kudos on AO3 that suggest that just maybe, I know wtf I'm doing stringing words into sentences. I don't need a big press to tell me I'm competent, I already know that. What I do need is to not end up suicidal again. If I face the gauntlet of rejections that's supposedly "required" as part of gatekeeping trad pub, it will do severe damage to my mental health, and probably destroy my ability to write as depression-induced self-deception eats through what I know to be true.

THAT'S what's different about a micropress like ours. Yes, our founding vision was to work with fans, but the vast majority of the people who work with us have mental illnesses, physical disabilities, neurodivergence issues, and/or other "meatsuits are terrible actually" issues that strict publishing environments can't or, really, won't accommodate. We say "fuck that noise" and go out of our way to accommodate people, granting extensions and ensuring everyone can work on their own schedule. We're able to be very flexible, which means we bring in a lot of people whose incredible skills are overlooked, ignored, looked down on, kept out of, more mainstream publishing options.

If someone has trouble with deadlines? We still work with them.

If someone has an illness that flares irregularly and unpredictably? We still work with them.

If someone needs frequent reminders? We still work with them.

If someone works slowly because they can only do a little at a time? We still work with them.

If someone needs extra time, additional support, special software...we have thus far been able to accommodate literally everyone who has come to us.

As long as the creators who work with us keep communicating and keep showing at least a little progress, we will find a way to make things work, because we want to be as inclusive as possible, and because we know that most people with these challenges, no matter how good they are at writing or art or whatever it is they do with us, would face many more hardships to have these opportunities with a larger, more strict organization.

Just, every time I see indications that people think we're "less" because we're not HarperCollins or Penguin or Tor or something, I get so angry, because it shows so little understanding of how gatekeepy and especially how ableist trad pub is, and I wish more of the people who are thinking things like that would recognize that their behavior is, essentially, snobbery.

And to be clear I'm not saying "people with these challenges never get trad pubbed," that's clearly ridiculous and untrue, but I am saying, people with these challenges shouldn't have to be The Most Exceptional just to have a chance, and we deserve to have a place that will accommodate us instead of having to perform health, perform neurotypicalness, etc. just to succeed. We deserve to not have one flare-up potentially ruin our careers, and we deserve the same opportunities and respect as people who choose other directions.

Between trad pub, small press, and self-publishing, no one route is inherently "superior." Backing one over another doesn't guarantee you're only going to get good stories, or good editing. Trad pub publishes utter schlock sometimes, and self-publishing is fantastic sometimes, and some small presses do have lax standards, and some small presses are exceptional, and I feel like maybe people just really don't understand why places like Duck Prints Press try to exist - it's because we're trying to create spaces that meet us where we are, instead of focusing on rigid conformity, marketability, hard rules, etc.

The only way we'll get a diversity of voices in publishing is by supporting a diversity of publishers. The only way we'll be able to make space for everyone is by supporting the places that carve out new spaces to fit those who didn't fit elsewhere.

I wish more people would understand what we do and why we're here, and that folks would at least try our publications before assuming that we're "like big press but worse at writing/arting/editing."

Idk. I'm just tired, and sick, and still working even tho I'm sick, and frustrated with how hard it is to get anywhere, so here, have a rant I probably shouldn't post.

(this post brought to you by me seeing Chuck Tingle - entirely reasonably, to be clear, Chuck Tingle is awesome and I support him entirely! - celebrating the Camp Damascus release to thousands of notes, and Tor posting a poll about some Locked Tomb short story and getting 1300+ votes, and how I have to claw our way out of the background tumblr noise to get 100+ notes even on our biggest releases)

[ in response to this, and this, and this ; @ask-the-royal-absol, @ask-the-shiny-pokemons, @book-of-legends ]

Lief was silent for some moments, save a weak hiccup or two. He looked between them all with a funny glance, his eyes somewhat narrowed. His ears stood a little more upright than before, and his antennae twitched here and there, perking up before drooping back again.

He still wasn't sure he understood it, and he became lost in thought trying to understand this.

Destino's apparent interest in him caught his attention more than what they had to say; for someone that hated Fairy-type Pokemon, the Absol clearly had no issue trying to rouse a reaction out of one.

Rimi's story felt more to him like she indirectly called him a bully; but her suggesting that it didn't have to be so took some edge off her otherwise expressing her dislike towards him.

That's to say nothing about Sirius still being here, and him having came over to apologize? To him?

But for once, ever since the start of the spiral, he somewhat looked like he was actually listening.

Lief: "And I'm supposed to believe you're all suddenly interested in my well-being…?"

Which meant he had words to say about it.

Lief: "B-because. I really don't believe any of you… but my head hurts. A-and this floor is cold."

He eyed Sirius' extended paw, and merely stared at it at first.

Under such circumstances, he really would've just moved away. Or make them leave, or otherwise decline their help. He couldn't just do the former, unsurprisingly; and he didn't feel like going through with the latter.

He'd reluctantly complied, after a long and awkward pause, saying:

Lief: "Lying here in the filth is probably the only reason I haven't threw up yet... but whatever. Here goes."

Before raising a paw to take hold of it.

If "take hold of it" actually meant "struggle to lift his arm from the floor and proceed to miss his every attempt to grab it".

His stomach loudly gurgled, and he cringed. His expression looked more pained as he gulped down what nearly came back up, but he still reached for Sirius.

Lief: "Creator of gods..."

chip-dip6 asked: @mezuni-and-willow Fay and Ark @ leif You hear a distant conversation '...this guy looks like he is having a rough time of it, heck they even reminded me of you when you are down! anyway can i get your help so that he doesnt bog down the rest of the party?' 'How would you do that then?' 'you know when you have your nightmares and all that? something like that' 'if you say so' The two of them reach leif, looking down at the depressed pokemon; and the state he was in; 'you, uh, want some help there buddy?'

[ @mezuni-and-willow ]

Lief: "Ugh. If it would make you all go away-"

HIC... urrrp.

Lief: "G-get on with it already. Help me up. And watch as you laugh at me when I tell you all about how I managed to shoo away a beautiful woman that fell out of the sky..."

He was thinking about Pikavee again. Despite everything.

Of course he was.

Okay, I just finished watching Sex Education, and I will be honest, I was very… underwhelmed.

I know this show means a lot to a lot of people, and I can see why, and I liked parts of it, but to me it started out very strong and ended so disappointingly.

I was captivated by the struggles of some of the characters, by how their stories were weaved into one another, but that’s easier to do when you have a handful of characters. By season 3, there were so many characters, and the creators seemingly insisted on developing each individual storyline as profoundly as possible, but that just resulted in stories being presented and resolved in a rush, sometimes inexplicably, and it all felt just very clunky. I tried to suspend my disbelief of how time passed in this universe, how one storyline seems to be moving slower than another in the span of the same day, but it became so glaringly obvious that it came down to shoddy editing, and too many loose ends to trie to tie up.

By season 4, I didn’t have enough time to connect with anyone new, didn’t feel like any of the new characters was actually given enough time and space to unfold properly. It was just jam-packed with tropes and themes and difficult topics that deserved much better development. Like Cal’s dysphoria, or Viv’s abusive relationship, or Isaac’s and Aisha’s disabilities, or O’s asexuality, or even Jean and Joanna’s difficult relationship and Jean’s postpartum depression (in fact, I feel like Jean really got done dirty this season, because she was an interesting character the whole way, and she went through a lot, she almost died, she’s going through massive heartbreak, and those things are never addressed again except that one little moment, and Otis is THE ABSOLUTE WORST to her in this season…)

And that did not happen, of course, to the characters from the first two seasons, they got to be fully developed and nuanced and you get to examine their whole stories and they make sense. You get to see Aimee deal and come to terms and put behind her the sexual assault, you get to see Maeve get out and then have massive doubts about her talent and see her dreams interrupted once more by her mother’s overdose and her brother going down the same path; you get to see Eric come fully into his own skin with his sexuality and struggle with the fact that he might have to choose between that and his community; you get to see Adam go from bully to realizing his sexuality to realizing what has made him into a bully to trying to change and be honest to himself and others; you get to see why Ruby is the way she is but also that it’s all just a front and why it’s hard for her to not put up walls.

It felt like, by season 3, the creators were just ticking boxes: non-binary character, check; trans characters, check; characters with disabilities, check; boy with two mums inexplicably wanting to find their biological father, check… It felt a little like (and I swear this comparison hurts me the most) watching Glee.

(Remember Glee? Most people would say ‘well Glee walked so that Sex Education and Heartstopper and Young Royals, etc could run’… No, unfortunately it feels more like Glee took two steps and then stumbled horrible so that these other shows could run. And sadly, in my opinion, Sex Education didn’t fair much better…).

It made me sad to learn about how LGBTQIA+ activist and ace representative Yasmin Benoit collaborated with the Sex Education creators to create a character that was a well-rounded representation of the asexual community, but in the end they turned her into the season’s villain and for no good reason. I understand people’s frustration with that, especially Yasmin’s, because it felt like it could have been handled much better. And as an acespec person myself I would have been more upset about this too, were it not for the fact that everything else was so bad in comparison that O being turned into a villain felt like the least of this season’s problems.

Something else that bothered me was that, whilst Sex Education is a satire and a lot of the characters are caricatures (like Ruby being the popular glamorous bitch with her two cronies who do everything she says, and Aimee is the bimbo with the heart of gold, and Mr Groff is the stuffy narrow-minded professor, and Lily is the unashamed weird girl, etc), there is a fine line between caricature and cartoon, and some of the characters went too far. Like Hope in season 3 was too much of a cartoon villain, and Molloy being the admirable but former literature sensation who is brutally harsh with his students; and Beau going from flirty to abusive in .5 seconds; and Joanna being the over-the-top disaster person. There is no further substance to these people, they are just there to fulfill a role as a foe to one of the main characters, but the lack of realism makes them very underwhelming, and all the plots associated with them become predictable and boring…

And this might be a very unpopular opinion but… at first the whole Otis and Maeve thing, although clichéd, seemed like a nice idea, but the more time passed, and especially with the way that Otis became in the last season, by the end of it I really didn’t like it at all. It felt like Maeve deserved a lot better.

Otis was a somewhat interesting character in the beginning, and I could sympathize with him for all his flaws and the way that he tried to help people but ultimately couldn’t deal with his own shit. But it was so frustrating to see him making the same mistakes over and over, to the point where it affected his relationship with everyone important, from his mum to his best friend to his girlfriend.

Not that the show had to be perfect. No show is perfect, but it truly felt like the creators had a really good idea but didn’t figure out how to wrap it up, and promptly cornered themselves and then were fighting their way out of that corner…

My favorite things about the show, though, were:

-Anything with Eric (except maybe that whole thing about him and his bully becoming a thing, because that was disturbing, but I really really liked when Otis brought this up, and I really really hated when Eric got defensive about it, and I also reaaaaally hated when Eric got mad at Adam for not wanting to have anal sex, like he didn’t even want to talk about it, you’re better than that, Eric Effiong).

-Despite this, Adam and Eric not having a happy ending together was a breath of fresh air, because as much as they were cute together (I just reaaaaally wish Adam hadn’t been the former bully) they weren’t right for each other.

-Aimee’s whole journey from being with Adam to being with Steve, to ditching the Untouchables for a meaningful friendship with Maeve, to exploring what she wanted to do, to coming to terms with her assault, to discovering art as a way to express herself. She really is one of my favorite characters.

-Colin and Ms Sands were my absolute favorites too, and them coming back for one episode, and Colin playing With Or Without You at the funeral. And Ms Sands always wanting Maeve to fulfill her potential, and trying to help Adam and even coming to see him in the dog show.

-Any moment when Eric is just fabulous, especially wearing that kilt at the queer night club. Ncuti Gatwa is truly one of the most beautiful men in this world, and he just can’t help but sparkle. He is the sparkly one.

-And as I said before, Adam’s poem to Eric, absolutely broke my heart.

-I loved the set design and costume design on the show, it was so unexpected for everything to feel so old-fashioned, and I wonder if there’s a meaning to that. Also, Jean and Otis’s house is my absolute dream house. I do wonder however what happened to all the penis and vagina decoration.

-I really liked the variety of characters and how we got a diversity of storylines and tackled a lot of important topics, but I just wished they had done a better job at it.

That’s about it. This turned out way longer than I expected. But I’d been putting off watching this show for so long, despite how relevant it became, and was really disappointed that I didn’t like it as much, so I had to vent.

Do you have any happy/uplifting/"we will get through this" type of jewish songs? Take your time answering or if you don't have any on hand i understand, have a nice day/night <3

One of my favourites is of course "V'Hi Sh'Amda" ("And She who stood") from the Pesach Haggadah. It comes in many tunes, some more somber than others, some more upbeat, but it's such a comforting song about our resilience as a people:

וְהִיא שֶׁעָמְדָה לַאֲבוֹתֵינוּ וְלָנוּ. שֶׁלֹּא אֶחָד בִּלְבָד עָמַד עָלֵינוּ לְכַלּוֹתֵנוּ, אֶלָּא שֶׁבְּכָל דּוֹר וָדוֹר עוֹמְדִים עָלֵינוּ לְכַלוֹתֵנוּ, וְהַקָּדוֹשׁ בָּרוּךְ הוּא מַצִּילֵנוּ מִיָּדָם.

"And She is the One who stood for our fathers and for us. For it wasn't one alone that stood over us to exterminate us, rather in every generation and generation they stand over us to exterminate us, and the Holy One Blessed Be He saves us from their hand."

There's also an incredible feminist reading to this hymn, notice the pronoun change in it?

Another song is "We are a Miracle" by Yaakov Shwekey. I hate Yaakov Shwekey, he is not someone I support, but damn does "We are a Miracle" hit me in the feels every time. Maybe it's because the song came out when I was in a rough time. Anyway. The song is good. The creator isn't. Alas.

Then there's "Kol HaOlam Kulo" ("The whole entire world"), originally written by Rabbi Nachman of Breslov. The lyrics are simple, but the tune......when sung in a group and you just constantly repeat the last line.......it's spiritual.

"כל העולם כלו גשר צר מאד והעקר לא לפחד כלל"

"The whole entire world, is a very narrow bridge, and the main thing is to have no fear at all."

Then there's "Am Yisrael Chai" ("The people of Israel are alive"). Again, simple lyrics, but oh so powerful when sung together. The most famous tune is the one by Shlomo Carlbach.

עַם יִשְׂרָאֵל חַי עוֹד אָבִינוּ חַי

"The people of Israel are alive, our father yet lives"

Then there's "Banu Choshech L'Garesh" ("We've come to chase the dark away"), by Sara Levi-Tanai. It's a comforting song about unity being able to overcome evil, and of course with Chanukah being in Wintertime, is also about overcoming the long nights haha. And my name is in it (as an adjective)! I'll bold it in the Hebrew. Unfortunately, I can't find any recordings with the full lyrics, only the first stanza :/

בָּאנוּ חֹשֶׁךְ לְגָרֵשׁ,‏ בְּיָדֵינוּ אוֹר וַאֵשׁ.‏ כֹּל אֶחָד הוּא אוֹר קָטָן,‏ וְכֻלָּנוּ אוֹר אֵיתָן.

סוּרָה חֹשֶׁךְ, הָלְאָה שְׁחוֹר!‏ סוּרָה מִפְּנֵי הָאוֹר!‏

צִיל-צִיל-צִיל בַּפַּעֲמוֹנִים, מִי אֲנַחְנוּ? – סְבִיבוֹנִים. לָנוּ רֶגֶל אַחַת, אִם נִפֹּל – גַּם לֹא נִפְחַד.

סוּרָה חֹשֶׁךְ, הָלְאָה שְׁחוֹר!‏ סוּרָה מִפְּנֵי הָאוֹר!‏

אָנוּ שׁוֹבָבִים גְּדוֹלִים, עַלִּיזִים וְהוֹלְלִים – אַךְ נֵדַע יָפֶה מְאוֹד לְסַפֵּר, לָשִׁיר, לִרְקֹד.

סוּרָה חֹשֶׁךְ, הָלְאָה שְׁחוֹר!‏ סוּרָה מִפְּנֵי הָאוֹר!‏

"We come to chase the dark away. In our hands are light and fire. Each individual light is small, But together the light is mighty.

Flee, darkness and night! Flee, before the light!

Tzil-tzil-tzil in the bells, who are we? – spinning dreidels. We have one leg, if we fall – we still won’t fear.

Flee, darkness and night! Flee, before the light!

We’re big mischievous kids, merry and praise-giving – but we’ll know very nicely to retell, to sing, to dance.

Flee, darkness and night! Flee, before the light!"

I really like the line "Each individual light is small, But together the light is mighty", emphasizing how we may be a small little spark alone, but together we make something greater.

Then there's "HaMalach HaGoel Oti" ("The angel that redeems me"), which is originally from Parshat Bereishit 48:16. It's often sung as a lullaby by Jewish parents, and it's a song that's helped me through get through some dark times. It's a song of strength and protection. Sometimes when I'm in a really depressive and lonely state, lying awake at night, I'll sing it to myself.

הַמַּלְאָךְ֩ הַגֹּאֵ֨ל אֹתִ֜י מִכׇּל־רָ֗ע יְבָרֵךְ֮ אֶת־הַנְּעָרִים֒ וְיִקָּרֵ֤א בָהֶם֙ שְׁמִ֔י וְשֵׁ֥ם אֲבֹתַ֖י אַבְרָהָ֣ם וְיִצְחָ֑ק וְיִדְגּ֥וּ לָרֹ֖ב בְּקֶ֥רֶב הָאָֽרֶץ׃

"The angel that redeems me from all harm, he shall bless the children, and call in them my name, and the name of my fathers, Avraham and Yitzchak, and may they become a great many multitudes over the face of the earth."

And of course, "When You Believe" from the film "The Prince of Egypt", written and composed by Stephen Schwartz. I prefer the original version from the film, not the one performed for the end-credits by Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston. I think the song has a lot more emotional depth in the actual scene, especially with the addition of the children's chorus singing words from Shirat HaYam. But yeah it's an incredibly moving and inspiring song. Is it a "Jewish song"? Yes. It was written by a Jew, in a movie made by a Jew, telling a Jewish story.

There's a lot more but those are the first few that came to mind :)

Every so often I’ll try to peek into fandoms for other video games/shows/movies and see if they’re worth joining and….ugh.

I’m not gonna lie. It just makes me feel so lucky to be apart of the Soulsborne fandom in general. I have been here for years now and I have never felt the stress or strain of classic fandom toxicity the way I do when I spend only a day or two trying to rummage through other fandoms. Negative fan behavior and strife has literally kept me out of so many other online communities. I rarely feel secure anywhere else.

But Soulsborne? Sure, we have the stuck-up git gud crowd that doesn’t understand what git gud really means, we have bitter casuals that spam the most overpowered weapons until those weapons get nerfed and then they start screaming, we have some occasional lore disagreements that usually involve something to do with old men and their dolls, we sometimes have sibling-style fights over the second Dark Souls game that lead to some pretty intense verbal exchanges, though the second a FromSoftware hater gets involved, everyone teams up and roasts them for daring to diss any Dark Souls game because how dare you.

But that’s about it. Ship wars are almost nonexistent/extremely tamed, there aren’t fandom morality teams, there aren’t flocks of raging teens attacking voice actors or writers, there aren’t internet-viral horror stories about the utter madness of gatekeeping revolutions or bullying campaigns, etc..

It’s just chill and full of good memes and people that would be considered clinically insane if they ever casually said the things they say when discussing lore intricacies. No girl, you can’t explain to your neighbor why you believe that consuming three umbilical cords, killing the moon, and ascending to squidhood is the best possible option to choose when trapped in a world enslaved to The Cycle, but you absolutely can say that here! Let’s talk about it!!

Hell, we even have dozens of stories and anecdotes about how Dark Souls helped people through depression and anxiety. I mean, Solaire exists. Japanese artists draw some of the cutest chibi art of him and other wholesome characters as though we were in a fandom for kids. Or rather, how kid fandoms were meant to be. Ha.

Oh and, speaking of artists? The content creators in this fandom? You guys are literally some of the most talented people I’ve ever seen. The streamers, the artists, the writers, the lore freaks, the data-miners, the musicians, the comedy crowd, the illustrators, the comic/zine creators, the meme lords? This community thrives on these people. We are drowning in content every day thanks to them!

I just love it here. It’s like my Firelink Shrine. A safe little haven full of weird people that are actually my friends. I’ve gotten through some of the heaviest points in my life thus far with undeniable encouragement from these damn games and the community built around them. This is what fandoms were meant to be, my friends.

Now you maybe wondering that about me being absent one of them is college I can't control that it depends on my degree and planning what I want to do in my adult life. Also I want to get this out of my chest. I'm perfectly fine when people tell my obsession with Duke goes too far causing me to lose friends or just being all over a character that doesn't exist. I understand and I do apologize if I make feel people uncomfortable and when ask people if they can draw myself and Duke together they don't have to I make it very optional and I have plenty of other characters to simp for but Duke is #1 he'll always be. He's the reason why I'm being stable from being lonely and stress between reality and trying to become independent. It's not easy when your autistic and have social anxiety and learning different ways of how to do things. Duke is a comfort and I believe everyone should have a comfort character if not then perhaps your best friend or family .

Whenever I see a picture of Duke or art heck even gifts people draw for me it makes me touched and happy because I love this vampire and yes he's fictional but it's fun to simp and also appreciate the creator who put there heart and soul making characters to adore and even be interested with there stories and series.

Another thing I get so happy is when I commission the creator of the series Duke's plays the lead one along with Missi the vampire who tolerates him. The creator absolutely knows me so well and always spoils me with amazing commissions of me and Duke also she's close and appreciates fans like me for liking character such as Duke . Also buying loads of merchandise from the creator's store and main do I go buck while on everything worse then going to a barns and noble xD.

I am a busy person who gets free time and sometimes not so much. I'm working on my degree, learning the good and bad things in life even if I don't understand. I attend to also write my fanfics whenever I get the chance to take a break on drawing nonstop art of Duke. It also gives me ideas for myself if I ever want to make a character of my own and I know one day the character is going to be inspired by many artists I admire if you see what I usual post xD.

I have dreams of being with Duke in real life like he stays with me in my campus, we go for nightwalks, I lay in his coffin or king size bed and talk for hours. I wake up and he's not there with me. I know this feeling is loneliness which I'm use to since I have a hard time reaching out to people and the art I do might probably not spark interest. I miss my sister who's in college we have a great bond, I love my parents always support me, I have friends and fans online here that support me.

However I really wish I didn't feel this way. I know I attend to seek help with my advisors or talk to my sister it does help. I'm not normal and then okay because hey we all special and unique in our ways. Duke is fictional but he's my happiness and true comfort and I'll always love him even if I want to strangle him.

Yes I've been a little depressed and overwhelmed but that's life we have our good days and bad days. Crying does help me let everything out and start a better day. Eventually this blog will also get more hearts soon and also I have to be present for that to happen which I try. I appreciate you listening to me and I don't want end things sad especially since this is me and Duke's month so I made a healing art piece and color it about us. I really appreciate the support and love you all give me. This helps me to stay motivated and keep going. Don't worry I'll post more things and happy stuff. Letting this vent things pass.

Thank you for listening and much love you all Spooklings 🥰

'Six BAFTA nominations, universal critical acclaim, and not a dry eye in the house: Andrew Haigh’s ghostly gay romance All of Us Strangers is already the must-watch queer film of the year.

Based loosely on 1987 novel Strangers by Taichi Yamada, All of Us Strangers follows Fleabag star Andrew Scott as a depressed and isolated queer writer in his forties, who is still reeling from the death of his parents three decades earlier.

In one week, his world changes: not only does he spark up a deep and beautiful romance with younger neighbour Harry (Paul Mescal), but he returns to his childhood home and reunites with his parents – despite them being dead.

Across weeks, he gets to have the vital, moving conversations with the apparitions of mum (Claire Foy) and dad (Jamie Bell) that he was too young to have when they passed, as his romance with Harry blossoms.

Though Yamada’s original novel features a straight protagonist, Andrew Haigh recently explained to PinkNews why he, as a gay man, couldn’t have told his version of the story without centring the queer experience.

“What I’ve always been interested in doing, and especially with this [film], is talking about queerness in relationship to family, and how complicated it can be in relationship to family,” he shared, “especially if you grew up in a generation of the ’80s and into the early ’90s, where it was very different than it is now – thank God.”

A turning point in All of Us Strangers comes when Adam comes out to his parents, who are stuck in the deeply homophobic Thatcher era, and their response is initially less than approving.

“Back then, it was a pretty rough time for a lot of kids growing up and growing into their sexuality. I felt like that adds so much to the story,” the Looking and Weekend creator shared.

“[Adam’s] not lonely because he’s gay. But being gay and coming from that time has made him feel separate in the world to some degree. It’s almost like the world has made him feel lonely.”

As part of the discourse surrounding the film, Paul Mescal has been forced to explain why it was OK for him, as a straight actor, to portray a gay character, arguing that it depends who is in the driving seat of the film.

Haigh has now explained that gay actor Andrew Scott was always going to take the lead role in the film over Paul Mescal, because the story needed to focus on a particular generation of gay men.

“It always had to be from Adam’s perspective,” the 50-year-old director explained.

“I’m the same age or a little bit older than Andrew Scott’s character. That was the generation that I wanted to talk about.”

The contrast between Adam and Harry is an exploration of how gay men of certain ages live their lives differently, even though they are all profoundly affected by the same trauma that can come with growing up queer.

“In many ways, [Harry] is slightly more liberated in the world, and hasn’t been burdened by some of the things that [Adam] has been burdened by. He releases some freedom in Andrew Scott’s character, which I think is really interesting,” Haigh shared.

“Once you’ve seen the film, you realise there’s also a sorrow and a sadness inherent in [Mescal’s] character too.”

Though it’s emotional, All of Us Strangers also highlights the beauty that comes with being able to live as your true self around those you love the most. In opening himself up to his parents, Adam is able to heal the wounds of their complicated relationship.

“I think it’s amazing how often we aren’t our true selves to people, even if people are still alive,” Haigh reflected.

“You still probably don’t have those difficult conversations that you need to have. I understand why we don’t have those difficult conversations; I think there’s a world inside [all] of us that is tormented and a little bit broken, that we’re trying to deal with almost every day of our lives.”

Haigh hopes the film will show that there is an alternative reality out there for those who don’t feel able to be themselves.

“I think the film for me was to say: ‘You know what, it’s OK. I get that you will feel like that, and there is a way out of that. You can find love and intimacy and be known and be understood.”

Rightfully so, All of Us Strangers is pulling in an impressive slate of award nominations – including a BAFTA nomination for Best British Film. It may have been shockingly snubbed by the Oscars, but Haigh is more assured to see the film resonating with so many queer people worldwide.

“It’s always quite surprising to me when something with queer content actually manages to break through and get talked about,” he admitted.

“Now I’m alright with it not being some big mainstream billion dollar because clearly, that’s never going to happen, and there will still be lots of people out there that won’t go and see this film because of the content, or what they think is the content.

“That’s a shame, because I feel like this is a film for everybody,” he added.

“But it’s amazing that it has been taken under the wing by a lot of people and I love that.”'

went hiking ;]

i took myself and my little sister hiking recently, wanted to share some of the photos i guess

now it'll be more of my thoughts and feelings and other stuff that's probaly not important for you, if you're here for the cc - new infant stuff is being made, so stay tuned!

so I really feel like I've matured a lot, it's been one hell of a ride if you ask me about this year. Frankly speaking i've lost any meaning in my life, like at all, i didn't know what was I doing, who I was, where was I being and thoughts of future seemed so irrational, because there wasn't even any point of living till that time. I just couldn't see future for myself. In january I got diagnosed with CPTSD and things kind of started making sense in terms of my behavior, coping mechanisms, escapism etc. I've started reading reddit posts of people telling their stories of how they've coped with this diagnosis. I guess i never really fully moved on from it, so it mostly still taunts me when i suddenly remember that ah yes, i'm actually forever mentally ill, nice. But I just started to move on you know? obviously not without any help, first of all I started taking antidepressants, then my close ones were there in my toughest times, because the hardest and at the same time most familiar feeling is feeling lonely, like you'll never have someone who understands you, like you have so many relatives and people around your life, but at the same time you're so alone in your head and feelings to the point it suffocates you so much, that crying isn't even possible any longer.

What struck me the most when antidepressants started working (sadly only after 5 months from the moment they were prescribed) is that I never in my entire life felt so... alive??? I really can't remember the last time I've actually felt so balanced, I started having thoughts again (it was so shocking for me that in the beginning i actually had some big issues with sleeping, cause my mind just didn't know how to go to sleep when you're actually able to think), i got all those feelings of love back, that i never knew i was robbed of. Like i would look at my cat and actually start crying just from how much i loved her (now im just extremely happy seeing her hehe), I would look at my absolutely normal patreon/tumblr profile and get so emotional looking at how many lovely people like what i do and support me.

But this leads to another very sad thought that haunts me sometimes, that actually the way I was living all this time wasn't normal, it wasn't my quirk or character type or some other shit I would hear when talked about the way I was feeling (or rather feeling nothing). Like all this time I was always blaming myself. This really made me cry at first. Actually lots of things made me cry when I started my healing journey (now I just don't cry, it's an antidepressant thing).

Only after antidepressants started working all the other "normal" things started helping me cope with anxiety and feeling of loss and sadness like "oh just go for a walk", "start exercising", "journal", "drink more water and eat healthy". You now the shit people that never experienced depression tell you and it's not their fault they don't understand. Honestly it's actually insanely lucky for them, that they don't understand.

So writing all of the above I wanted to say that please, don't be hard on yourself, it's not your fault that you're that way, but unfortunately it's only you who can actually trully help yourself. Even if it seems like there's no point in doing anything and life seems meaningless, remember that there still can be things worth living for, even the smallest ones like who's gonna pet all the doggies and kitties??? or who will download all the most prettiest loveliest most perfectly done clothes by the best creator (me) on patreon/tumblr ever????hehehe. Life is unfortunately meaningless, if you don't give any meaning to it, and it's not your fault that you can't find it, just give yourself time.

I'm absolutely not even remotely close to healing (and honestly I don't even know if it's really possible with CPTSD), but I'm definitely feeling better. Actually I'm feeling kind of down right now, but that's ok!! Because well I'm sure sad for a reason and I'm just trying my best to embrace it and fully feel sad I guess, so I can move on and feel peaceful again, until a new emotion comes and I'll try to feel it again, because that's what apparently humans do as I've learned after taking antidepressants.

Hey, you've read all the way to here, woah, you know that I'm proud of you? And not just beacuse you've read my stupid thoughts, but just because you're here with us, you're very strong and I'm very proud of you.

stay safe, love you all to the moon and back, 

your silly girl, Ame <3

Inbox being weird again, had to repost (sorry, anon!)

What are your thoughts on IWTB? It’s now on hulu and I am like 15 minutes in to a rewatch (I’ve watched FtF a truly offensive number of times but have only seen this once, when it first came out) and am absolutely incensed already. I’m having trouble making sense of their characters, they seem so OOC to me — even with the understanding that they are (possibly both) depressed and life on the run has really jaded and hardened them. Also its so weird to me that Amanda Peet reaches out to touch Mulders cheek bc he cut himself shaving? Just bizarre behavior all around!

It is a truly bizarre movie. I've not seen it; but I have done extensive research on it, if that makes sense. I think it can be summed up by this one Tumblr post I saw (and lost, someone help me find it!) that noted Mulder requested a helicopter for himself and Scully to, essentially, walk a few street blocks to the next location. Because CC wanted a helicopter in his movie and he was going to get it, somehow, someway.

Below is a tragically long post filled with article links for more enjoyment~.

(**Note**: Will edit this post later, brb.)

TLDR: A movie/tv series worth its salt is well-written, end of story. It doesn't matter how excellent or in-character the themes or motifs or etc. are if the characters are badly written or act out-of-turn. You cannot have a god-tier theme about fighting back the Darkness and seeking for the Truth if at every opportunity the characters themselves reject the message continually in ways that make no sense, especially when they have a history of stellar characterization and well-thought-out opinions and actions. This movie is a prime example of that.

There are numerous blogs here that have already (rightfully) griped about IWTB, so I won't go into plot nonsense or whatnot. But I DO have interviews that show how roughshod the movie making process was before it even hit theatres, so....

I first heard about IWTB's flaws peripherally through this article (that trashes the Revival, highly recommend. Written by a CC fan, too, so it's not a bash-sesh against the Creator.) It spoke endearingly-ish about IWTB, believing it to be more in-character than the Revival (yup.... unfortunately.) Then I started perusing fan opinions... and everyone pretty much agreed it was awful in most parts and shippy in others.

TBH, shippy doesn't mean squat to me. Maybe it's how I'm wired, but I was drawn to The X-Files because the romance is so unspoken with very light kisses. I 100% get Chris Carter's restraint perspective; but I also get the fans' perspective, that it's gone too far to ignore or take back. An example: the movie sets up a "gasp, really??" mystery that Scully is a doctor with a life separate from Mulder, driving over to him to try to get him involved in the FBI manhunt. It's taken back almost immediately when Mulder later springs up beside her in bed, but it's those little touches that start to confuse the message. And then throw in Scully insisting Mulder join the chase while Gillian Anderson acted her completely opposite to what she was saying and you start to see the mess unravel. Then Mulder tosses aside his loyalty to Scully-- something that is KEY to his character, having formerly left his life's work for her and even left his newborn son when she told him to-- to chase the very monsters she begged him to chase but is now begging him not to. There is no reason given other than "It's who I am", which is NOT who Mulder is: he is a man willing to sacrifice who he is and what makes him tick over and over for Scully's sake. This not only breaks his character in-movie, it nullifies all his actions and choices in the original series, stripping them of their consequences and weight.

The movie, I believe, was supposed to be about Mulder and Scully scrabbling against the Darkness while also lost in confusion: they're together but Scully feels threatened by Agent Whitney, Mulder no's the case before getting wrapped up into it, Scully supports then withdraws her support (and LEAVES??), both rely on the word of a pedophile priest (a similar alliance to Luthor Lee Boggs but creepier and less redeemable... and even Boggs wasn't redeemed), and finally Scully casts aside her doubts to get back in the saddle and save Mulder. It seems a compelling story, no? ...No.

An example of the "confusion" theme of the plot: When Mulder meets up with the other agents to discuss terms (I suppose), the camera briefly pans to random people walking past him in the hallway-- one of them is the actress who played his little sister in the OG series; and the camera makes it a point for Mulder to notice that fact... but so briefly and quickly it never made an impression on him permanently, a.k.a. a seeming callback. BUT when Scully yells at him (before? after? I dunno) about always looking for his sister, this is the scene that was supposed to back her up? In which case: dude, we all saw the Samantha Agent. She did, indeed, look like Samantha; and she had NOTHING to do with this case. The only explanation Scully had for her tasteless remark was that she thought Mulder was full-on delusional or so stubborn he was projecting his own demons onto this case. Y'know... the case he didn't want and only got more involved in to SAVE LIVES. In which case, it doesn't fit with the themes of the movie at all: Mulder was right here, Scully was wrong; but the movie stated that SCULLY was right, or at least half-right, and Mulder was at least half-wrong. It's all nonsense.

The dialogue is atrocious. Absolutely appalling. Which makes sense to an extent: CC and Spotnitz had this movie written out right after the series ended as an attempt to gain back the studio's attention. No such luck; and when FOX was finally interested to make more money, the script notes were accidentally lost; so CC and Frank blitzkrieged up a final draft in just a few weeks (very not good.) This and this article breaks down how Spotnitz (in his own words) watched CC battle FOX from the sidelines for the movie, then scramble with him to complete a draft in time for filming; and it explains (but doesn't justify) the stilted dialogue, horrendous pacing issues, and disjointed theme. To summarize:

""Frank Spotnitz: ...The pressure in television is incredible because you’ve got to keep coming up with another script, another script, another script. The movie was completely different. We started work on the story in 2003, and then got derailed for four years by deal-making and the threat of a lawsuit. Then when we returned to it in 2007, we’d lost our notes.

Lost your notes?

Frank Spotnitz: We’d put them on note cards to pitch the studio, and we couldn’t locate them. At first, we were very unhappy, but it ended up being a blessing in disguise. We remembered what the case was about, but the emotional beats, the personal beats between Mulder and Scully, we had to start from scratch, and we had changed."" 

Frank Spotnitz claims it was effortless to get back in their characters' heads; and, while that may be true, it was certainly not effortless to put them down on paper.

The messaging of the movie was so confusing that Mark Snow, the composer, didn't read all of it correctly (which is important for the person composing the score for each scene):

""Now the plot of I Want To Believe has characteristically remained a secret – I don’t suppose you can tell us anything about what we can expect from this film?

Well the interesting part was, when I read the script the first thing I got out of it was deep, dark complexity and I spoke to Chris Carter afterwards and he said ‘what do you think?’, I said ‘man, it’s so complex and dark and mysterious’, and he said ‘and it’s a love story with religious overtones…’ Okay! He said ‘just keep that in mind’ and you know I re-read it and I got what he meant, and then seeing the movie I certainly got what he meant. Besides the Mulder and Scully relationship there are some other very very emotional, intimate if you would, moments there that do add spiritual and religious weight to it...."" 

This article does well at picking apart the claims (some ludicrous) for and against the movie But, for time's sake, let's skip to the summary of the very sloppy (and downright goofy) climax of the movie:

""The biggest shortcoming may be that the case is solved by both Mulder and Scully independently and simultaneously, and thanks to coincidences on both their behalf. Mulder’s investigative skills lead him to the villain thanks to a simple visit to a local store; stem cell research for organ transplants and for curing Christian allow the two storylines to cross, but Scully having a revelation by finding the villain’s research on the internet through a non-related search draws the odds extremely. There is little actual investigation and the case is wrapped up too quickly. All those are little things — but they pile up to too much.""

Both the actors had "notes" and "questions" (read here) about their characters when they first got the script, with Gillian Anderson admitting how hard it was to find her character (post here)--

""Gillian Anderson: I had a similar experience. This feels so weird. Summertime. I didn’t have all the running around that David had to do, but I did have my own unfortunate beginning which was starting with one of the most difficult scenes for Scully in the film where it’s later on in the script and she goes through a range of emotions in confronting Billy Connolly’s  character. I just had a really time for those first couple of days that that scene was. I had a really hard time just finding her, finding her voice. I think I must’ve gone through ten other characters in the process of trying to get to her when I had assumed that I would be able to show up on the first day and it would just be there. It wasn’t until I think day three when we got to work together, not just necessarily in a familiar environment which it really wasn’t, but in the environment of each other and the relationship and that it kind of felt natural and familiar and I felt like I’d landed this time."" --

but it was David Duchovny who was surprisingly the most honest to the press about his (measured) thoughts, as he's usually the most reticent. He always wanted to do a movie series, liking the scope and freedom it would give him with acting and scheduling; but he mentioned, once or twice, that he wished IWTB had been a bigger action film in the vein of FTF. Further, he admits to an interviewer about his thoughts and his (slight) dissatisfaction with Mulder's out-of-character element here:

""Since The X-Files: I Want to Believe may not have been the huge blockbuster that everyone was hoping for, we’d like to know: What is your own measure of success for the movie?

Duchovny: I guess it’s always the first time I see the movie. What’s my feeling when I come out? I always felt like the subject matter of this particular movie was limiting. It was dark, and it wasn’t going....

I’ve only seen it one time, and I was sitting in Chris’ editing room. I watched it on a little screen. I guess I missed the chance to see it on the big screen, and that’s too bad, but when I left that initial screening at Chris’ house, the film was pretty much almost done except for some special effects. I just felt like it was really strong and kind of a strangely moving piece of work. Still dark, and still, I thought, limited, but the way that the movie performed did not surprise me so much, and I think that if we do get a chance to do another one … what I always really liked about the show was that it had a dark vision, but at the heart of it being driven by Mulder was this real optimism or wonder or sense of belief, and then it would kind of open out. Most of the best shows that we did would open out into real wonder at the end, if only because you didn’t have an answer, which was the mystery of it, but the wonder.

Mulder’s quest, to me, is a very positive one. If we get a chance to do another one, I think because in this movie Mulder kept getting reinvigorated, Mulder was in a down place for much of this film; he wasn’t driving the way he drives, the way he drove everything before that. In a way, the nature of how we had to get back into the show, which was to take the guy out of his job, also deprived the movie of some optimism and wonder and enlightenment that occurs when you’ve got this unhinged guy trying to prove wonderful crazy things.""

And while DD defended IWTB's box office failings as having to compete against Batman, one of the previous articles I linked had the savvy to tackle that reason and debunk it:

""The defenders of IWTB will endlessly complain about the budget (but look at what a feast Darren Aronofsky did with $35 million: “The Fountain” (2006)), the fact that it’s low-key ‘intellectual’ and not blockbuster-like (so is “There Will Be Blood” (2007), $25 million, and countless other generally agreed upon masterpieces), the lousy promotion (but look at what good word of mouth can do with a movie few believed in in the beginning: “The Matrix” (1999), $65 million), the unforseen success of “The Dark Knight” as competition (hardly an argument) or trends in selfish cinema critics (as if a bad reception is the sole result of a conspiracy).

However what will remain in history is not the whys and hows but the what: the final product itself. And the truth is that if IWTB featured characters other than Mulder and Scully, this would be a not very memorable movie.""

Needless to say: the entire movie's a mess, and it's down to the roots. While beautiful visually and musically-- all the reviews and cast and crew had nothing to say against that-- the characters and the script and the plot were a horrible mishmash that highlighted its weaknesses and smashed down its strengths.

Thanks for giving me the opportunity to ramble; and sorry if this didn't do what you needed! But you did inspire me to find all the old angry IWTB discussions/posts on Tumblr (archive hopping, heheheh) and put them all in one place. So, look forward to that sometime in the future, I suppose~!

Disclaimers: I do not like canon after S8; and that's only because they get a happy ending and, even though it has garbage canon decisions, the characters were able to save most of it and forget the rest. But I will treat IWTB as its own thing devoid of my personal opinion.

im gonna rant abt how much i hate the ghost eyes fandom (as a former fan) bc im just kinda mad rn

so uhh yeah major TW for s3lf h4rm, romanticizing mental illness, su1c1de, sadomasochism, infantilization, and rlly just anything related to that

(also sorry if this looks weird idk how to separate stuff on tumblr)

also DO NOT harass the creator or anyone mentioned here, you’re no better than them if you do that

——————————————————————————

ok so i read ghost eyes like 2 years ago but i stopped reading about the point where they were on that field trip. i still think it’s a nice comic and i’m sure the author is a cool person, also the art style is awesome. but the fandom is so fucking gross that i’m surprised more people haven’t talked about it. 

for some backstory on this, i used have REALLY bad depression and was cutting myself regularly (i’m much better now, i have medication, therapy, and i’m almost a year clean) i also stopped reading due to the comic severely damaging my mental health and i’m very glad i did. i was younger and immature and thought i could handle such content. this led to me becoming extremely obsessed with the comic to an unhealthy level, and getting severely attached to one of the characters (rudy) because i could relate to him at that time. i seriously thought that i WAS him sometimes.

i understand now that i should NOT have ignored the label and what i did was definitely wrong and if the creator is reading this i deeply apologize. i’m in a much better place now and i’m just glad that i was able to get the help i needed.

ok now to the angry part

if you don’t know what ghost eyes is, it’s a webcomic about a severely traumatized boy attending school for the first time and meeting a bunch of other severely traumatized kids. this comic has a crap ton of triggering/sensitive/disturbing topics (which is not a bad thing as long as you do it right) and like i said before, the creator has kindly put a warning before the comic starts stating that you SHOULD NOT romanticize/idolize/sexualize/kin any of the characters, do not read unless you can handle such topics, and so forth. now i know i should have definitely put the comic down before and not gotten obsessed over it, but i knew damn well enough that it was messed up to romanticize/sexualize any of the characters/things that happened in the book.

there are several scenes in which a character is self harming or harming someone else, and the comments will say shit like “nooo my poor bean” “awww baby don’t do that” or my personal favorite “protect the smol bean.” first of all, the characters are like 16-17, second of all, i cannot even tell you how fucked up it is that people see someone ruining their lives and putting themselves in danger and think it’s “cute” or “anxiety smol bean uwu” THERES LITERALLY A SCENE WHERE SOMEONE IS GETTING STABBED AND PPL ARE DRAWING THIS MF IN A MAID DRESS.

another reason i despise these fans is that they see an abusive relationship and start making ships/kinning them. as someone who has gone through pretty much everything rudy has gone through, i cant tell you how irritating it is to see people shipping him with his abuser or calling him a “cutie patootie masochist boi uwu” cause lemme tell you what-it doesnt feel good to have to put your health in danger and ruin your relationships with others just so you can get off somehow. ITS NOT FUN. the whole point of rudy’s character is to not romanticize someones fucked up mental health.

i could spend hours talking about this group of immature brats, but i’m tired and it’s a school night and i have a test tomorrow. i might add on if i feel like i need to but overall i really hope those immature fans grow up and realize their mistakes like i did, or get the help they need.

I'm gonna say this and I know people aren't going to agree and that's okay

But I really don't like Mikasa's character. I think she had the potential to be really cool af, but the execution fell flat. I know she's written a little bit better in the Manga (still need to finish it) but here's why I don't like her and how I think it could have been changed.

I understand why she's so attached to Eren, but it's almost obsessive, and the way she treats him feels patronizing. She wants to look out for him because she loves him, but it's in a selfish way.

Examples: as a kid injuring him and then asking him if he still wants to join the Scouts, FORCING him to eat, carrying him away from fights, telling him to stop talking (tho indirectly) when talking about his more negative feelings (shown in s1 and s3).

My biggest pet peeve is the scene where he figures out the ODM gear and Mikasa is like "he's happy he doesn't have to leave me" which is NOT AT All what he was thinking but sure girl project your bs onto him

^ seriously none of that was okay. And yeah Eren had moments where he's rude to her or has hit her bc he didn't reciprocate her feelings. He was treating her like he'd treat anyone else.

Worse of all we never see get any real development. (Least not in the anime. Maybe the Manga does it better) she's still over protective to the point it's almost patronizing and outside of protecting him, she has zero ambitions for herself. You can't even say she let him go when she killed him bc even then she didn't move on!

Now what I would have liked to have seen- and I've seen some fan-work creators take this direction- is for them to have more of a sibling relationship.

Imagine this. Everything still happens mostly the same but her motivations are different. It's a found family/sibling sort of love. She wants to protect him bc he's like a little brother to her.

Because Carla begged her to look after him (which is canon)

And so her motivation for protecting him had been to bc of this. Bc Carla begged her, too. Because Eren is the only family she has left.

(And maybe dialing back some of her obsessive tendencies)

And had both gotten growth? Her learning she doesn't have to always look out for him. That he can take care of himself, and him understanding that she was only doing it bc they're the only family they have left and him accepting her as such?

There's also my personal issue that I don't see any build up or reciprocation on Eren's some until the very end so as you can guess I don't ship Eremika. Any defense you could have like him being protective of her or holding her hand he also does for Armin and Historia.

But people act like him not loving her back makes him a bad person or that he treated her bad for not feeling the same? Just because someone loves you doesn't mean you have to feel the same, no matter what they do for you. And I'm saying that as someone who's been on the other end of that! Also personally if someone treated me the way Mikasa treated Eren I'd personally consider her a bad friend. If I can't talk to you about my morbid and depressed thoughts why are we even friends?

Also, I'm not expecting anyone to agree. If you wanna have a calm conversation about it, I'm absolutely down, but don't come in my chats yelling.