#but i think it can also be true that we fixate on notes too much
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i just want people to know that just because your content doesn’t get many notes, doesn’t mean it isn’t worthwhile. there is someone out there, a living breathing human being, who appreciates it, whose day it made that little bit brighter, and who admires what you do. nothing is a ‘flop’ if it made one person happy.
#i feel like i talk about this a lot#and that doesn't mean that notes aren't necessarily important#because i really do understand as a creator how depressing it is to feel like you aren't getting recognition for your work#and that comes through notes#but i think it can also be true that we fixate on notes too much#and actually getting 1000 likes means nothing if people aren't engaging with your content#and by that i mean leaving comments and reblogging to share it#it's so sad that creators feel like they can't create what they want bc it's not the tumblr fixation rn#and they don't want to put the time and energy into creating something now that simply won't get the love it deserves#but it's important to remember that there really are people out there who love what you do#and surrounding yourself with people who uplift you can be rewarding in itself#(this is mostly a reminder for me bc i'm feeling uninspired lately and i think the root of it is tumblr's current quiet spot lol)
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Behavioral Tactics - Spencer Reid & Stiles Stilinski
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•Pairing - Spencer Reid x Reader x Stiles Stilinski
•Rating - 18+, Minors DNI - Smut - NSFW!!!
•Summary/Prompt - Someoneʼs fantasies about having Spencer Reid & Stiles Stilinski at the same time (Why choose, right?) are about to come true, after a little bit of wine and a lot of flirting.
•Warnings/Content - piv unprotected (DONT DO THIS KIDS - AND WITH 2 DIFF DUDES JUST LET IT BE FANTASY AND BE HORNY IN YOUR BRAIN HOLES OKAY) ; A-Z all bases covered bc Iʼm one horny bish ; Reader- focused 3-some if that wasnʼt evident ; Spencer and Stiles are HOT SO JUST BE WARNED OKAY ; Mentions of alcohol, some lil bits of bondage and such thingies, SO MUCH PRAISE, petnames and such IʼM SORRY IʼM CHEESY OKAY
•Word Count - 3.5k
•Authorʼs Note(s) - Yaʼll this is just PURE self indulgence at this point, so if anyoneʼs also into it, cool cool cool - I pretty much imagine reader to be Stiles' age and they're in their mid-to-late 20's with Spence around 16 years their senior but you can imagine it however you want! // ALSO TYSM FOR ALL THE NOTES ON MY FIRST FEW WRITING BLURBS OMF YAʼLL MAKE MY DAY I SWEARRRRR
•Additional Tags - Switch!Reader but mostly Sub!Reader, Switch!Spencer, Dom!Stiles, Slightly Tipsy Wine Night Turns Into PURE FILTH, Consent AS ALWAYS Is Important, Brat!Reader fr fr, Boys Whimpering I JUST 🤌🏻
Spencer wasnʼt usually one to drink, but this was a special occasion, he says - the three of us werenʼt able to see one another often, and so a second half-empty wine glass was currently in his hand, in danger of being spilled as Stiles finishes his story and makes the older man laugh so hard his face goes red.
“You told him you would what?ˮ He crows, eyebrows raised.
“I said it once, Iʼm not saying it again.ˮ Stiles shakes his head, reaching for the wine bottle Iʼve currently got clutched to my side. “Hey, refill me, why donʼt you?ˮ
I shake my head; Iʼm feeling fuzzy and light, and enjoying the game of keep-away far too much at the moment to let it go. The idea of them having to wrestle it away from me gives me a funny feeling in my stomach, but I ignore it.
Or so Iʼd thought. Because the moment the idea crosses my mind, their eyes catch it. Micro-expressions. I knew the term well from many late-night conversations with my two close friends, as they were both FBI agents, one specifically focused on analyzing behavior. How had I expected to hide this from them? It was only a matter of time until-
“Sheʼs doing it again.ˮ
“Huh? Iʼm doing…what? Iʼm not doing anything.ˮ
“Dilated pupils,ˮ Spencer notes, as if heʼs diagnosing something clinical. “Reddened skin. Iʼd stand to wager…elevated heart rate, as well?ˮ
Getting up from their shared couch, Stiles reaches for the wine, but instead, his hand brushes my neck with a careful look in his eye. Iʼm fixated, unable to move or speak, or really even breathe, to think of it.
“Youʼre right on the money, Reid.ˮ He nods, his fingers at my pulse point. My skin is burning at the sudden intimacy.
“Whatʼre you guys going on about?ˮ
“Still playing innocent?ˮ Stiles chuckles, backing up. I let out a heavy breath, half- caught in my throat over a newly forming lump.
“I have no idea what…ˮ
“Weʼre talking about?ˮ Spencer finishes, licking his lips and leaning forward. “Oh, but I think you do. Donʼt you agree, Stiles?ˮ
Stiles nods, not even looking at him. Theyʼre both hyper-focused on me, and the attention feels both fantastic and utterly unbearable at the same time.
“Every time weʼve gotten together, the three of us,ˮ Stiles continues, reaching out a hand and beckoning me forward. They shuffle apart, making a space between the two where Iʼd fit…if I wanted. “Itʼs undeniable. The looks you give.ˮ
My heart is in my throat, eyeing the space that Spencerʼs now patting. I set the bottle aside, the game utterly forgotten.
“I-ˮ
“Did we misread?ˮ He raises an eyebrow, setting down his glass. “Iʼd thought for sure you were thinking of us all…together.ˮ
The sip of wine Iʼd been taking that turned more into a chug comes back up into my glass. I cough, pushing it away. Stiles takes it, making sure Iʼm alright before continuing Spencerʼs thought.
“Sweetheart, if weʼre making you uncomfortable-ˮ
“No, not at all.ˮ I blurt, looking back and forth between them. Spencer, with his hair slicked back and slightly disheveled, who Iʼve thought of time and time again but never had the courage to do anything about besides call out his name in my late nights alone with myself; Stiles, my best friend, my confidante…one of the most attractive men Iʼve ever known. The whirlwind of explicit mind pictures involving him goes back a long, long time. Yes, Iʼve thought about it. Dreamt of it. But for it to actually happen, to no longer just be a fantasy, was never something Iʼd anticipated.
“I told you,ˮ Spencer smirks, not at all cocky - just knowing he was right.
I flush. “You guys talk about me alot, huh?ˮ
"About us, sometimes.ˮ Stiles nods, still eyeing me and beckoning me to sit. “Look, really, if you arenʼt into the idea, Iʼll back off. Weʼll back off,ˮ He amends, a short glance to his side. “But honestly, itʼs been a long time coming, hasnʼt it? You and us.ˮ
His words are divine, luring me in. Iʼm taking his hand before my mind can catch up, and sitting in the space between them. The heat from their bodies is only a further spur into this dangerous new game weʼre playing, now.
“I think…youʼre okay with it, arenʼt you?ˮ Spencer murmurs, gentle but teasing. He brushes my hair from my neck, leaning closer.
“Youʼre drunk,ˮ I let out a nervous laugh, shivering at his touch. Stiles is mirroring him on my left, although heʼs a bit more brazen, closer to me, his lips at my ear.
“Not even close,ˮ He chuckles, breath tickling my skin. “A glass or two isnʼt nearly enough to get me drunk. How about you, Spence?ˮ
“Nope.ˮ
“Well, I-ˮ My eyes flutter shut when Stilesʼ kiss hits my neck, brain going fuzzy. Oh, my god, what?
“Are you?ˮ Spencer goads, his hand resting on my thigh. “Iʼve certainly seen you drunk off of at least twice what youʼve had tonight, and from that point of reference, Iʼm going to say youʼre more in the buzzed-to-tipsy range.ˮ
“Just say no, I mean it,ˮ Stiles pulls back, his voice a husky whisper. “Consentʼs more important, Iʼll just take care of business myself, if I gotta.ˮ
“Iʼm fairly sober,ˮ I admit, looking at him. Gods, I want to kiss him. I want to kiss them both. “And Iʼm okay with it if you are. If…you both are?ˮ
“Okay with it?ˮ Spencer laughs. I catch the edge of his grin out of the corner of my eye, unsure who to focus on.
“I want it.ˮ I swallow, ready and willing to admit to every brazen thought Iʼd ever had. The temptation is much too strong, the lull of their voices and hands and lips and eyes and… Oh, good heavens, here we fucking go.
“Thatʼs evident in your behavior,ˮ Spence teases, hand slowly inching up my leg. “Do you want to lead, or be lead?ˮ
Not one to wait on me to respond, Stiles is back at my neck, and Iʼm finding it hard to speak. Rather than attempt words at this point, I tug at Spencerʼs collar, eyes on his lips.
His gaze, heavy-lidded and lust blown, drinks in my desperation for but a moment, then heʼs kissing me - and what a feeling it is, to have their attention centered on me. All at once, distracting and overwhelming, yet I canʼt get enough. Spencer kisses like he needs air and Iʼm oxygen, devouring me to the point Iʼm almost being pushed into Stilesʼ lap.
“Hey, there,ˮ Sti chuckles, gripping me tighter the moment Spencer backs off. “My turn?ˮ
I nod, more nervous about this than even Spencer had made me. Something about Stiles has always just…gotten to me, that way. And now is certainly no exception, with him pulling me into his lap and pulling my face down to his own.
Kissing Stiles is much different than kissing Spencer; Where Spence is hungry, Stiles is almost animalistic, despite being entirely and simply human - he makes up for it in the passion he brings, deep and hot and breathy kisses that make my head spin.
“We should- uh, my room?ˮ I mumble against him, reaching for a hand from either one of them. They both take me up on it, and let me lead them up the stairs. I can feel their bemusement coming off of them in waves, sprinkled into the desire that has them so warm Iʼm already sweating in my minimal clothes.
Once the doorʼs shut behind us, and Iʼm sat on my bed, their gazes have mefeeling so indescribably small.
“So eager, sweet girl.ˮ Stiles cooes.
“Look at you, weʼve barely touched you and youʼre already squirming.ˮ Spencer smirks, slowly undoing his belt without breaking eye contact. “Think you can be patient for us?ˮ
My eyes flick between them, one locking the door while the other, taller one is approaching me; I instinctively reach for him, but Spence tuts, pushing me back.
“Guess not,ˮ He chuckles, motioning for me to move back towards the headboard. I have a sinking feeling I know exactly where heʼs going with this, and I whine in protest as Iʼm proved right - wrists pinned above my head, secured with the very belt that had just been around his hips.
“Youʼre gonna be trouble, arenʼt you?ˮ
“Of course she is,ˮ Stiles laughs, coming to sit on the bed with us. They both gaze at me, helpless as I am, with the utmost mix of adoration and desire. I had expected to feel enjoyment from this, but safety? Oh, itʼs the cherry on top of a very delicious cake.
“No, Iʼll be good - I swear."
“Of course you will, sweetheart.ˮ Spencer tips my chin up to him as he climbs on top of me. It kills me that I canʼt reach up and touch him, and with that little smirk spreading across his face, he knows. Between him leaning down to kiss me again, and the gentle but firm hands of Stiles snaking up my thighs, Iʼm breathless and pleading.
“Please, please, just-ˮ
Spencerʼs lips cut me off, and I let myself get lost in the haze of him for a moment, just a moment. My attention snaps back into focus when I feel my shorts being tugged down my thighs.
“You two…ʼtryna kill me.ˮ I moan, and I can feel Spencer smile against me.
“Actually, the likelihood of dying due to any type of sexual arousal or intercourse is fairly minimal, so youʼre likely in the clear.ˮ He quips.
“If I could roll my eyes-ˮ
“Oh, weʼll give you something to roll your eyes back for.ˮ Stilesʼ voice comes from right above my heat, and I shudder, bucking up to try to grasp any sort of friction.
“Calm down, pretty girl.ˮ Spencer chides, his hand gripping my jaw and bringing me deeper into the kiss. I sigh, giving in, and simply allow his kisses on my lips, my neck, and Stilesʼ slow and agonizing undressing of my lower half.
He lets out a low noise, somewhere between a gasp and a moan, once my panties are discarded. “Youʼre a fuckinʼ mess, princess. Is that all for us?ˮ
Itʼs all I can do to let out an approving whine, a not so subtle begging for something, anything to break this coil built up in my belly. My arms are starting to hurt from the amount of tugging Iʼve been doing to try to get free, but I can barely even feel it. I just need them, both of them, so badly.
“Cʼmere, get a look at her.ˮ Stiles pulls Spencer back, and he pouts a moment before focusing on me - well, the lower half of me.
“Fuck.ˮ Spencer groans, rubbing his chin with a slack-open mouth. “You werenʼt kidding. Pretty girl, youʼre wet.ˮ
“Are you gonna do anything about it?ˮ My tone is desperate, but entirely bratty. The looks I get from the pair of them tells me Iʼm gonna pay for that.
“We could just leave you there and take care of ourselves.ˮ Spencer snaps back, but I can see in his eyes thatʼs the last thing he wants. I donʼt have to be a profiler to know how badly he wants to be inside me right now.
“Or we could do it together,ˮ Stiles adds, watching my reaction. “Oh, you would like that a little too much, though, wouldnʼt you? Does that get you off, sweet girl?ˮ
I nod. “Okay, Iʼll behave, just please, touch me or something?ˮ
“Sheʼs so pretty when sheʼs desperate for us, isnʼt she?ˮ Stiles smirks, leaning over me tauntingly. One hand traces lightly over my thigh, ever so gently. Spencer sits right on the other side of me, his grasp a bit more firm, a lot closer to where Iwant them to be.
“Aw, I think she deserves at least a little something.ˮ Spencer cooes, bringing his free hand to his mouth. I watch in awe as he sticks his fingers in and brings them out with a pop, so sure of himself as he brings them to my folds. Gentle but swift, he inserts one, then two fingers, once he hears the noise of relief I let out.
“S-Spence-ˮ
“There you go, beautiful. Just needed someone to touch you, huh?ˮ
The long, practiced fingers of Spencer Reid send my mind into a tailspin; Unable to think of anything other than the sheer pleasure and joy of knowing this is actually happening, I canʼt bring myself to feel any sort of self-consciousness - I only know the sweet nothings they whisper, and once Iʼve hit my limit and cried out for Spencer, how they trade off and now itʼs Stilesʼ turn to learn my body.
Somehow, though his touch is different, itʼs equally as pleasant, from the tugs he makes against my sweet spot to the thumb rubbing circles against my throbbing clit. Only when Iʼve came for him, as well, does Spencer gently push him aside, positioning himself between my folds with a hungry groan.
Stiles climbs up to kiss me, and Spencerʼs kiss…is somewhere else entirely. Iʼm mewling against the lips that suck on mine, bucking up despite myself into Spencerʼs face. He takes it well, only gripping my thighs harder and pressing his tongue deeper into my core. I can feel myself leaking onto his chin, and like a man starved, he eats with a deepseated hunger and noises that make my stomach twist. Mumbles and groans of ‘you taste so goodʼ push me over the edge once, twice, I lose count.
When itʼs time for the expected switching, Iʼm aching to feel something more, and it seems Spencer can sense this; while he climbs up to kiss me, he also sets to releasing my binds.
“Wanna know a little secret of mine?ˮ He whispers, voice low in my ear. “Iʼd like to see you take a little bit of your control back…just a bit.ˮ
The release I give into Stilesʼ mouth as I kiss Spencer, now that Iʼm free to do whatever I please with my hands, is monumental. Iʼm tearing at Spenceʼs clothes, and he responds with pulling my shirt over my head, his mouth latching onto my breasts. I cry out, more than ready for everything this will give me. It doesnʼt take long for the three of us to get undressed, heat of the moment as it is.
“Please-please-ˮ
“Thereʼs no need to whine, love.ˮ Spencer murmurs, tracing down a pattern from my lips to my chest. “What do you need? Use your words.ˮ
“Someone needs to be inside me, and now.ˮ
This earns a chuckle from the both of them.
“Are we flipping a coin?ˮ Stiles quips, sidling up behind me as Spence rolls off to my front.
“Statistically speaking, it is the most-mmm-ˮ His voice lilts as I reach for him, eyes fluttering when I stroke. “Now thatʼs not…fair.ˮ
Stiles reaches over across my hip, circling my clit. “Behave, princess.ˮ
I rut back against him, earning a low moan.
“Someone. Either. Both?ˮ
“Now that sounds difficult to…position-ˮ Spence grunts.
Stiles takes the opportunity of my distraction to shift me a bit, pressing his tip to my folds. One rut forward and heʼs swiftly entered, making my hand and voice stutter against Spence. “Good girl,ˮ Stiles cooes, brushing my hair off of my neck and kissing at it as he works to find a pace inside me. “Good girl.ˮ
I whine - really, thereʼs no other word for it - and do my best to continue pleasuring Spencer, but the overstimulation of it all makes my brain go numb. Heʼs helpful, though, fucking up into my hand and echoing Stilesʼ praises with gentle and passionate kisses to my lips, my chest, my jaw. When Sti rolls me over, pulling out and climbing onto me before getting back to it, Spencer backs up and eyes us with utterly delicious lust, his hand pumping slow and hard against himself.
The noises filling my room are lewd, downright nasty, but the feelings are just so good, I canʼt bring myself to feel anything but disgusting pleasure from it all. Have we been here for hours now? Days? It feels like itʼs been forever and yet no time at all. The scratches Iʼve left down Stilesʼ back wonʼt be going anywhere for likely just as long. When the beautiful man wants to use my mouth, Iʼm ready and willing, and take his load without blinking. I doubt Iʼll ever get over the sight of him letting go and howling my name, either.
“There you go…did sʼgood for me.ˮ He praises, wiping the stray trail from my lips as he backs up, a sweet kiss to my cheek as well. “Spence?ˮ
“Only if sheʼs up for it,ˮ Spencer approaches slowly, eyeing me carefully. “How about it, pretty girl?ˮ
I nod fervently, and he likely would have laughed if he wasnʼt so overtaken. I reach out to pull him onto me, but he lifts me up and mumbles something about it ‘being my turn to be on topʼ. Hesitantly, I adjust myself until Iʼm hovering over him. Something about those eyes on me has my heart thudding so hard Iʼd almost think heʼd hear it; The noise that rips from me when I sit down onto him is almost criminal.
“Youʼre in control,ˮ He tells me, hands on my hips as but a guide to rock me back and forth. “Do what you will with me.ˮ
I set to making a pace with him, and to my enjoyment, Spencer is a whimperer when I do it just right. “You feel… fuck, you feel so good on me, baby. Better than I ever imagined, my mind canʼt even do you justice, and thatʼs… saying something, oh my god-ˮ
“Sweet talker,ˮ I coo, grinding against him just to get more of those wonderful whimpers. “Youʼre gonna make me… Spence-ˮ
“Please, cum all over me, youʼve earned it, havenʼt you? Been so fucking good for me.ˮ
“I-I need-ˮ The words wonʼt escape, so I simply show him, bringing his hands to my breasts and motioning, pull.
Heʼs a diligent submissive for the moment, doing as I ask. And the waves crash over me and out of me and onto him with such intensity I almost lose vision. More, I want more, and Iʼm begging for it so much that he canʼt say no, rubbing a pattern on my pounding clit until Iʼm seeing stars.
“Doing okay, baby?ˮ
“I could take you two…all night.ˮ I moan. The energy to do so may put me in a coma, but…
“I wanna cum in you,ˮ He grips my chin, forcing me to look straight into his eyes. “Can I? Is that okay?ˮ
"Yes, so very okay.ˮ
As Spencer chases his high, heʼs sloppier and thrusting up into me with the loudest noises of the night from him, and again I lose count of the edges he sends me over; A sweet melody, him calling out to me as he topples over his edge and comes down, both of us running down the space where we meet. I collapse onto his chest, and he strokes my hair, soft and sweet praises and kisses a stark contrast to the dirty things weʼd all done together tonight.
A strange noise rips from the edge of the bed, and we turn to look and see Stiles, completely passed out and snoring.
“Is he…?ˮ
“He is.ˮ
We laugh, careful not to wake the poor boy as Spencer gets to work cleaning me up. Once heʼs done so, I tug Stiles up into bed with us, relishing in them holding me on either side.
“Mmmm…sleepy.ˮ He groans, snuggling into me. “That was fuckinʼ something.ˮ
“Very much something.ˮ Spencer agrees, smirking on the other side of me.
“Something we should do again sometime?ˮ
“Yes!ˮ Stiles whines. “Just…lemme sleep more first, and Iʼm ready…tʼgo…ˮ
Spencer and I laugh again, and itʼs clearly a unanimous decision - this will happen again. And thank the gods, because I certainly havenʼt gotten enough of them just yet.
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Hiiii! Could I possibly recommend a short fic between Nick and a reader that’s never seen snow before? Like maybe their from the south, or maybe even a country that doesn’t get much snow. I’ve had this brain rot of this for a while and I just can’t escape from it 😭
Snow day.
Summary: while you and Nick play videogames until you notice it started snowing, so he decides taking you out to experience your first snow fall.
Tw: cursing. Suggestive joke.
Note: YES, I took inspiration from heartstopper, I love heartstopper.
‘’You know, choosing another character won’t help you win.’’ I look at the screen as Nick is trying to decide on another character because ‘the last one was too slow’.
‘’Actually, it does matter which character you choose.’’ He finally chooses Wario, the screen changes to the countdown for the race.
‘’I know, but it’s not that much. I think you are just bad at the game.’’ I make fun of him and he punches my arm playfully.
‘’I’m not, you are just a fucking nerd who is obsessed with Mario kart.’’ I can tell he rolled his eyes at me; I don’t even need to look at his face, I know him so well.
‘’You are such a bad loser.’’ The race starts and I let him take the lead, hoping he will win at least one race.
‘’I’m not, you are just too good at this game. It’s not fair, you should play blindfolded or something.’’
‘’Uhhh, kinky. Okay, I don’t mind you blindfolding me.’’ I laugh when I see him blush.
‘’Shut up, you know what I mean.’’ He playfully pushes me and I laugh even more, and when I look at him to see his blushed cheek behind him, I see the white layer covering the trees and street. ‘’Hey, not cool. Why did you let me win?’’ He turns to face me and I don’t look back at him, my gaze is fixated on the way the snow falls and covers everything outside. Nick turns around eventually, then grabs my hand and pulls me to his room.
‘’What are you doing?’’ He opens his closet and throws a jacket and a pair of gloves at me.
‘’What? You don’t want to play on the snow?’’ he smiles at me while putting on his gloves. I feel my cheeks turning red and I nod while starting to put on the jacket and he gloves. ‘’Let’s go, I have been waiting for this.’’
Nick drags me outside. The cold air hits my face and I let out a sigh, I step in the snow and start smiling, its different from what I imagined but not a lot. Nick drops my hand and walks a few steps ahead of me, bending down to grab some snow and molding it into a ball.
‘’Oh no, don’t you dare throw that at me.’’ I start panic laughing as I also grab a bit of snow and form a ball with it.
‘’Or what? I’m not scared of you.’’
‘’You should.’’ I say and I throw the snowball at him, hitting his left arm. He makes a shocked face and I laugh; his arm immediately goes up and throws his snowball at me, hitting my back because I turned around. He burst into laughter; we start running around his yard while throwing snow at each other.
After some time, Nick walks to me and hugs me by the waist, I wrap my arms around his neck, kissing his red cheeks. ‘’I love you.’’ He whispers to me.
‘’I love you more.’’
‘’Not true. I love you more.’’ His lips touch mine; he kisses me softly. Then he pushes me, I trip and fall into the ground. Nick laughs a bit and then lays beside me. ‘’Do you like the snow? Is it what you expected?’’
‘’I like it. But I think I am enjoying it because I’m with you.’’ He smiles warmly at me and grabs my hand.
‘’I know, I’m the best company.’’ He kisses my cheek.
‘’You know what we should do?’’
‘’What?’’
‘’We should build a snowman.’’ I giggle.
‘’Oh god no. I’m so bad at that shit.’’
‘’I know. That’s why I was thinking on covering you in snow.’’ I turn my head around smiling.
‘’Nop, never. Over my dead body.’’ Nick stands up before I can grab him, so we start running around the place again. To other people we might seem like two idiots in love, and they are not wrong, we are idiot and we are in love.
‘’Come here Nicolas! I want to make you a snowman!’’ He throws snow at me and I laugh as I try to catch him.
‘’Touch me and I’ll murder you!!’’
#nick sturniolo x reader#nick sturniolo x you#nick sturniolo x male reader#sturniolo triplets x reader
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hit or miss
you’re given a bet by your own best friend to finally earn you some kissing experience at the ripe age of 18, but what if he’s the one you’ve been wanting to kiss all along?
pairing | bff!haechan x reader
genre | fluff, just a bit of angst
warnings | y/n uses she/her pronouns, both y/n and hyuck are dumdums! kind of slow burn, curse words are explicitly mentioned, cousin!winter, i think that’s all but lmk if i missed anything!
wc | 4.3k words
note | this is pretty inspired by the webtoon “the kiss bet” because i currently have a hyper fixation on it and i absolutely love all the characters ;0; this is also way longer than intended but anyways,, i hope u enjoy! all rbs and likes are appreciated, thank you <3
D-15.
“in three, two, one, happy birthday, y/n!” your best friend, haechan announces aloud for everyone in your apartment complex to hear at 12 in the morning.
“come on! make a wish before the candles blow out!” winter, your cousin, urges you with a big smile on her face.
having just finished your night time routine and prepared yourself for a night's worth of sleep, you were rather shocked to see them with one of those trendy bento cakes and rainbow colored party hats adorning their heads.
despite your confusion, you walk up towards them with a grateful smile resting upon your lips. “seriously, when did you guys plan this?”
“oh, it was all my- ow, hey!” haechan gets cut off midway through his statement because of a nudge from winter’s elbow.
“what he was trying to say was it was all my doing. you’re welcome bubs!” your cousin beams, eyes creasing into crescents. “though i’d wish you’d hurry up. this cake isn’t holding itself up for you, y’know?” she adds on rather playfully but you can tell she truly meant it.
gathering a deep breath, you blow out the candles and cheers erupt from the people you deem closest to you. winter then sets down the cake on your coffee table in relief as your best friend slings his arm over your shoulder.
“sooo y/n, got anything planned for the year? a small resolution or something like that, i don’t know.” he rambles off, suggesting the idea of having a goal to work towards now that you were deemed an adult (though, haechan kept referring to this as the year that marks your jail-ability era).
you feel a little tingly from his touch, even when you know the two of you are just friends and nothing more. what you’re feeling is probably just a phase. it’ll go away.
“i’m not really sure, got any ideas for me?” you ask the two instead, eyeing them both in a back and forth motion.
“we can always work on that dating experience of yours- last i remember, it was up to the high number count of… zero.” your cousin chips in from the side as she slices the cake for the three of you to share, her tone sarcastic while she teases you.
it’s true, you didn’t have a lot (re: any) of experience in the dating sector, but perhaps that could change starting this year. “that… might not be such a bad idea.”
haechan’s interest seems to have been piqued — he’s making that look. that specific expression where the corners of his lips turn upwards, a brow raised, and that glint in his eye. oh, you know it all too well.
“come on.” you urge the boy. “start sharing your idea. i can practically see your mind ready to explode.”
“well, since you’ve asked me ever so kindly. how ‘bout a bet?” he starts, taking a few steps towards you with that cocky expression of his. “i bet you 10 dollars to kiss someone in two months. not that hard, right?”
“what- you want me to kiss some random person for 10 bucks?” you gawk out in surprise.
he only shakes his head, “i never said it needed to be a stranger. just, someone in general.”
you processed the idea thoroughly, running all sorts of possible scenarios in your head. wouldn’t it be much easier to kiss… haechan himself? that just seemed like the most plausible approach for you.
he wasn't a stranger — the furthest from one. you were comfortable with him. the kiss didn’t have to mean anything (though it might mean a tiny bit more to you), and in addition, you’d be making some cash.
everything seemed to check out. the only problem was that you had to ask him to kiss you. still, surely this was better than any other alternative, right?
“i’ll do it but… can’t i just kiss you and get it over with?” you finally voice out your thoughts, pretending to make your question sound playful in case the request backfires on you.
“you’re my best friend, that’s a little odd, don’t you think so?” haechan replies in the same tone, lightly ruffling your hair before going over to retrieve a slice of cake from winter.
ouch. way to have your first bit of “dating experience” be your best friend… friend zoning you. what a lovely start to your 18th birthday.
D-13.
a few days had passed since the bet you made with haechan had been established, but not one ounce of progress had been made.
to be fair, how were you supposed to kiss someone else when all you’ve ever wanted was for that kiss to be with your best friend? that’s tough luck.
you attending classes today doesn’t really help with your thoughts either, especially when both haechan and winter had been asking about said progress one after the other.
you’d be lying if they weren’t starting to give you a headache.
as if on cue, winter approaches you, some lecture books in hand and her bag slung on her shoulder. “y/n! how’s your progress?” here we go again.
“just as i told you yesterday, nothing yet.” you reply with a small sigh.
winter senses the frustration behind your words, encouraging her to suggest ideas to help you. “how about finding someone you like? it might make it easier for you know… to kiss them.”
“i don’t think that’s still a good- actually, you might just be onto something, minjeong.” your gears start to churn in your mind. in order to wash haechan off your mind, you might as well find someone else and maybe get an actual relationship out of it.
the idea was just perfect for you.
“have i ever told you how much i love you? i gotta go but i’ll see you after class, winter!” you excitedly bid her a goodbye, rushing to your classroom so you could better plan out your new gameplan.
though the most ideal situation was long gone, you now had a back up plan and you weren’t going to back down so easily from the bet.
you were now busily scribbling on your notepad, forgetting that a new student was to transfer into your class today. the teacher calls upon your attention and as you look up, your eyes land on a boy with great resemblance to a cute bunny.
apparently he’s the new transfer student.
the teacher gives him a moment to introduce himself. “hello everyone, my name is na jaemin. i hope we all get along!” so that’s his name, you thought to yourself.
surprisingly, he was told to take the seat in front of yours, offering you a small smile and a curt wave, one that you gladly return, before he takes his seat.
actually, maybe you really could forget haechan for just a teensy bit.
D-6.
a week goes by without haechan seeing you once. an entire week. was he always this eager to see you? to bask in the warm sight that is you? he thinks he must be going crazy.
the only time he ever gets updates about you is through winter which aren’t much to go on. he does remember a key detail she mentioned previously about how you’ve been spending time with that new student, jaemin.
what was so special about him anyways? well, he was surely going to find out soon.
as the bell rings to signal the start of recess, he dashes out of his classroom, taking big steps towards yours.
there, haechan finds you in his seat and he’s about to approach you until he sees you’re in the middle of a conversation with the one and only, na jaemin.
“this is how you do this, right?” jaemin asks you, directing your sight to a piece of paper that has a bunch of math formulas written on it.
“yeah! i’m surprised you got that rather quickly.” you compliment the boy in front of you with a small laugh.
your thoughts on jaemin have changed drastically since the first time you met him. he’s a sweet boy, someone you could never take advantage of. it just felt wrong to you so you just dropped your entire plan as a whole.
it was alright to lose the bet. at least you kind of made a new friend out of it, right? you smile to yourself at that thought.
to haechan, however, your smile is so bright in jaemin’s presence, it’s practically blinding everyone in sight. have you ever smiled at him like that? wait- why does that matter?
he doesn’t like you, no way.
you’re best friends, yeah. his love for you is as platonic as can be — at least that’s what he tells himself.
for someone as bold as haechan, he can’t seem to find the confidence in him to walk towards your table and steal your attention. instead, he steps out of the classroom, unnoticed by you.
D-5.
“JAEMIN DID WHAT!?” haechan yells into his phone, winter being on the receiving end of the call.
the girl tuts, “scream one more time and i’m hanging up on you. and yes, i heard he confessed to y/n. i don’t think she gave him an answer though.”
“sorry, look, i was just really surprised.” a deep sigh comes out from haechan before the call goes silent. he takes the time to process the situation, but the idea of you and jaemin being together just rubs him off the wrong way.
“doesn’t she see how bad he is for her?” he finally reasons out.
“uhuh, in what sense exactly?” winter retorts.
“he’s probably just using her to gain attention or something! can’t i look out for my own best friend?” the response is laughable, even to haechan, but he goes along with it.
winter laughs into the call, “are you even hearing yourself? that’s pretty baseless, even for you haechan.” she replies shortly afterwards. “seems to me like you’re jealous.”
“are you hearing yourself, winter? no i’m not! get your head screwed on properly!” haechan answers back in the same incredulous manner as she did to him just a few seconds ago. “who would i even be jealous of?”
“jaemin. who else? i think it’s pretty clear to most. you aren’t that great at managing your feelings, y’know-” the girl’s voice cuts off for a second, “-oh, i’m being called to dinner now but seriously, get yourself together haechan. i know you like my cousin. bye!”
the line goes beep and haechan tosses his phone onto his bed. she really did just leave him hanging like that. how could she after bringing that idea up?!
jealous? not a chance. haechan never gets jealous.
D-4.
haechan wakes up the next day feeling tired, having not slept a wink after winter’s words kept replaying in his head.
i know you like my cousin.
you like my cousin.
you like her.
and these same words follow him as he makes it all the way to school. perhaps seeing you in school would help him understand his feelings better.
he really just wants this to be over with.
with trudged steps, he makes his way to your classroom and luckily enough for him, there you were already in class before the first bell rang.
he blames it on the lack of sleep but you look so ethereal sitting down in your chair as you bop your head lightly to the music that’s presumably playing on your earphones.
the sight is something to behold- that is until he pivots his head ever so slightly and sees jaemin accompanying you. god, why does he have to be there.
so maybe haechan does get jealous. sometimes.
maybe that’s why he acts without thinking, swiftly dragging you from your chair and out to the school courtyard despite your protests.
“hyuck let me go-” you grumble, tugging on your arm but he doesn’t budge one bit. it’s only when you reach a bench in the furthest part of the courtyard he decides to get go of your wrist.
“seriously, what is wrong with you?” you scoff out in disbelief. “this is the first time we’ve spoken in days. i think you could’ve just asked me if you really wanted to talk.” with the addition of those words, haechan finally realizes what he’s done. he knows it was wrong but he isn’t going to back down from the argument that was brewing between you two.
“me? how about you? you’ve been so lovey dovey with mr. perfect all this time! don’t you have yourself to blame on why we haven’t seen each other in so long?” he spat out coldly.
your heart sinks, and yet, you can’t help but feel even more enraged. its true, you’re part of the reason for the lack of communication between you two. after all, communication is a two way system. but doesn’t that also mean he’s also to blame?
“i enjoy jaemin’s company a lot! is that so wrong?” you shoot back, biting your bottom lip before mumbling the latter part of your statement. “at least he isn’t as grumpy as the person standing in front of me.”
ouch.
the boy hears this and gets ticked off even more. maybe it really is the lack of sleep but he seriously can’t understand her reasoning anymore. instead, he assumes she’s just doing all of this for the bet.
“do you really want to win the bet so bad? if that’s what you want, just kiss me and be over with it. i’m literally letting you win. you can stop seeing jaemin now.”
and that’s when it hits you a little.
why is he bringing the bet up all of a sudden when you just want a genuine relationship with jaem- oh. he couldn’t possibly see you as someone like that right? he said it himself! he doesn’t like you and even denied your request to kiss him a few weeks ago.
but, if that were all true, what other explanation would there be to his actions?
he takes your silence as a no, prompting him to leave you in the courtyard all alone.
you couldn’t seem to understand him at all no matter how hard you tried.
as soon as you got home from classes that same day, you rushed yourself back home and into the comfort of your bed and pillows — treating them as if they were your closest confidants and cried while you shared your troubles.
it wasn’t productive on your end but it was much needed for you to at least think straight. you’d been bottling your contemplations all day long after all.
here you are laying lifeless on your bed, using all your braincells to dicern what the fuck happened earlier this morning.
you know haechan doesn’t like you. you’ve said it to yourself so many times now.
maybe he’s just jealous you’ve been spending more time with jaemin because, although you have different intentions before, you realized you couldn’t see him in that way nor had the heart to just use him for your own gain.
haechan was a different story though. you feel flushed just thinking about him, knowing full well the both of you are in the middle of an argument between each other.
remembrance of the frustration hits, making you groan at the thought of having to remedy it. if you and haechan had anything in common, it would be the stubbornness you both share.
the last time you both got into an argument this big was back in junior high. neither of you spoke to the other for an entire month. it got so bad that both your parents had to call each other up to devise a way to get an apology out from the both of you.
though it would make the entire situation much easier, your parents no longer delve into these types of problems — and neither do haechan’s. you’re both all alone to fix this one yourselves and you wish you’d been more grateful to your parents for mending your relationship with haechan.
deep down, you already know the both of you will struggle to find the right timing, but you certainly hope that day would come soon. you didn’t exactly like being away from him either (even if he made you feel like shit for the rest of the day).
you decide to sleep off your worries for the night, hoping and praying that tomorrow would be a better day for you.
D-3.
tomorrow is not any better of a day.
jaemin and haechan both invited you to eat with them for lunch which quickly escalated into a light argument between the two. you couldn’t even bring yourself to butt into their conversation, seeing how they were fighting over something so silly.
“i’m her best friend, we do this pretty much everyday!” you hear haechan yell at jaemin, his frustration for the other getting the best of him. “plus, i need to talk with her. without you.”
“if the two of you are just best friends, then what gives you the right to dictate her answers?” jaemin fires back, keeping a calm and collected appearance throughout.
this shuts haechan up and the entire cafeteria goes dead silent. oh boy, did you want to curl up into a little hole. everyone was staring and you didn’t like that one bit.
nevertheless, you decided to be the bigger person — uttering a small apology to jaemin before walking off to the table you usually sat at with haechan — the latter following you a few steps behind.
neither of you speak as you begin to eat your separate meals, another sign the relationship between you two was starting to fade out into dust.
winter joins your lunch table shortly after witnessing the drama unfold, she looks at haechan with an unreadable expression and the boy stays quiet during the whole meal.
didn't he say he wanted to talk? an apology for the day before would have been nice.
you get fed up by the silence, placing your food back on the tray before picking it up. you mutter a quiet “i can’t seem to understand you at all.” directed at hyuck before leaving and switching over to the table where jaemin and his friends are sitting.
it all happened too fast and haechan didn’t realize you were leaving until you already did. he really did want to talk but how was he supposed to do that after having that situation with jaemin?
he wanted to calm down first but you had other plans. you really left him in shambles this time.
winter can’t help but sigh at the ongoing conflict. she silently wishes she wasn’t involved this much if it was going to turn out like this.
D-2.
haechan knows he truly has to make it up to you (including a long overdue explanation of why he’s been acting weirdly the past few days) but doesn’t know how to do that. apologies never came easy to him. his mind couldn’t help but go blank everytime he tried thinking of a way to approach you without making things more complicated than they already are.
the sheer amount of times he’s hit a brick wall has him calling the only person who probably knows more about you than he, himself, does.
he picks up his phone, searching through his contacts before landing on a single person, now waiting for the phone to ring.
“hello?” winter’s voice reaches him through the call. “i knew you’d call after what happened at the cafeteria.”
it takes a moment for haechan to answer, “maybe if jaemin wasn’t so aggressive–”
“you both were. now spill, have you gotten your feelings sorted yet?” the girl pushes his dramatics aside, getting straight to the point.
“i… think i do. you were right all along.” haechan finishes. although it was hard for him to admit at first, now that he’s actually said it out loud, it might be the first time he’s been feeling a sense of clarity after so long.
winter hums at his confession. “at least you’re finally taking a step in the right direction. now, to win her back…” she smiles to herself, already having a plan in mind.
you, on the other hand, have been seeing haechan and winter together often for the past week. naturally, your mind begins to wonder if your own cousin is the reason why haechan rejected you way back during your small birthday celebration.
the evidence matches up pretty well — he probably couldn’t reject you directly because she was in the room with the two of you that day. he isn’t spending as much time with you anymore because he’s spending time with her.
they look good together.
those words linger in your head more than you’d like to admit.
you feel cast aside by the people you’ve known practically your entire life but you don’t have much of a choice but to return to jaemin’s company. after all, you chose to eat the rest of your lunch at his table instead of the one that brought familiarity to you.
D-DAY.
day after day, the two of you just seemed to grow even more distant and you wondered if the end of your long-term friendship was nigh approaching. you barely saw him roaming through the halls of campus anymore, much less your cousin.
you didn’t dislike the new friend group you had (jaemin introducing you to his friends after you finally told him about your situation with haechan, but you couldn’t help but feel… dissatisfied with your current situation.)
as your class ends, you prepare yourself for another silent walk home. despite having those new friends, you felt lonelier than you ever had. you missed them. you missed him. and yet, life seemed to have other plans for you.
even trudging down these halls filled with other students made you lonely.
truthfully, you would do anything to have them back- a pain to your forehead snaps you out of your thoughts. you had bumped into someone. well, not just someone, but the person you’ve been longing for the most.
haechan. he was right in front of you after who knows how long it’s been.
you felt like crying on the spot but held in your emotions to appear like your life was anything but lost. haechan knew that look on your face, presuming you haven’t been well ever since the two of you have spoken. he takes your hands that have slumped to your sides into his, and the small gesture reminded you of the warmth he’d bring into your life.
“are you up for a short conversation perhaps?” you only nod and he takes that as a signal in the right direction, though, he isn’t used to you acting around him like this. oh boy, this was going to be more than a short conversation.
haechan leads you into the gymnasium and the two of you sit down by the bleachers with no sight of other students in the area.
“before you get mad- i wanted to apologize first. i shouldn’t have acted the way i did. i was childish.” he begins, holding eye contact with you to show his sincerity. “frankly, i was jealous. jealous you spent more time with jaemin, and you seemed to enjoy you time with him more than the times we hang out together. i shouldn’t have made you feel sad in any way, but i did and that’s completely my fault. i’m sorry.” you know his words hold both his feelings and the truth.
he wasn’t going to lie to you. he never once did during the time you knew each other.
however, what he admitted to had you flustered.
he was jealous of you and jaemin? it was a little hard to believe until you remembered the latter confessed to you the past week. oh god, did word of that spread out? nevermind that, what happened between you and jaemin was the least of your worries, the boy in front of you was. what if haechan got the wrong idea from the rumors?
“it’s not completely your fault. we both were pretty stubborn.” you reply, a soft chuckle leaving your lips to ease the tension between you two. “and if… if you’re curious, i never returned jaemin’s feelings back.
haechan gets pretty taken aback by your statement, now wondering why you brought it up. “oh… i know.”
“you knew? did winter tell you?” you question in anticipation. “i guess the both of you are pretty close now.”
“she did but i swear our friendship is nothing like that!” it was his turn to get flustered. “she could never replace your spot in my life.”
“i’m a little confused though after all of this…” you gesture out, referring to the situation that has just recently moved past you two. “what spot do i even have?”
he pauses, taking his time to think of the right words he wants to tell you but they all get stuck in his throat. the expression on your face showed how you took his silence negatively, prompting him to speak. “i like you. i couldn’t admit it even to myself for the longest time and-” having enough of his rambling, you inch a little closer and give him a kiss on the lips.
it’s brief, and yet, it continues to linger on his lips. “you kissed me.”
“why do you think i never gave jaemin an answer to jaemin’s confession?”
“so you were really saving it for me? i’m honored.” he chuckles out, playfully holding his hand to his chest.
“well, you should be.” you add on with the same bright smile he’s seen you flash at jaemin, except this time, it was absolutely for him.
“i guess that also means you won the bet?” he recalls, a brow raising at you.
you give him a light nudge on his shoulder while suppressing a giggle, “oh, shut up and just kiss me. you owe me 10 bucks by the way.”
tags !!
#—hyuckbeam#nct fluff#nct angst#haechan#haechan fluff#haechan angst#nct#nct aus#fluff#nct dream fluff#nct dream angst#nct x reader#nct dream drabbles#nct dream aus#nct 127 fluff#nct 127 angst
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Hi! Hello, just another local Vox in the neighborhood that wanted to say he loved the disability. Headcanons, questions and thoughts on if Vox would suffer from either Cluster-B either BPD or NPD and/or Fibromyalgia. As a liver of both of these, they certainly suck, but they do add to my experience as a Vox. Also Gosh it sucks that side blogs can't ask questions. Thank you and have a good Day!
Hello!!! Thank you that means a lot that people like my silly headcanons.
I very much think Vox is cluster-b coded, but my original post was getting so long I felt too bad to add other things...... (rambles under the cut)
I said in the notes that I felt like Vox felt BPD coded but I can DEFINITELY see him having NPD as well.
He displays a lot of grandiosity and self-importance, making WALLS against his true self and his public image, or whatever kind of person he needs to be for any given scenario.
MASSIVE superiority complex. Hes got so much shit under HIS name. HIS products. HIS show. HIS company. Its all Vox.
I feel like that complex completely warps once Vox actually considers you as your own Person and not some sort of consumer to sell something to though...
I could see the break in Alastor and his relationship being a Bad Result of Vox absorbing Alastor into his grandiosity delusions and Alastor reacting badly to it. And maybe The Vee's being a Positive Result of the same thing.
Extremely fragile image of himself that is prone to fracturing with criticism. Vulnerable to those he cares about (good or bad) and takes things very personal easily as we see in Stayed Gone....
Very Copedendant to people he lets in
Hatred for Alastor being vocalized so much and so publicly due to his NPD self-importance and need for approval and attention. Unable to understand why nobody cares as much as he does about Alastor being back.
Under the lens of Vox having BPD it is so clear that Alastor was in the position of being his Favorite Person:
Vox mimicking Alastor in SEVERAL ways
Obsessing over him for years, and even their relationship break could very easily be seen as Vox splitting on Alastor? or at least to me
His immediate fixation on Alastor again once realizing hes just walking around....
I feel like Valentino and Vox fuel each other's BPD and Vox and Velvette both could have NPD together,,
His obsession over Alastor feel like a man who has yet to get over his favorite person........
Interesting to think about Alastor being his First person he obsessed over and depended on which is why hes such a touchy subject and so personal.
ALSO Vox with Fibromyalgia is VERY real and definitely can see it. Vox is some sort of chronic pain is very based i think. I just KNOWWW his legs are bad but so is literally all of his body and hes SOOOO tired of it but theres things and work to do.
I dont think hed let himself have a lot of Bad Days to nurse his pain too much unless its Genuinely unbearable or hes being physically pulled away from his desk.
Thank you for the ask i loved writing these!!
#i love thinking about cluster b vox#<as someone who May have bpd but still workign through everythign#i can scream so much about bpd/npd vox#this was verynice to wake up to!!!!! thank you#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin vox#hazbin hotel#vox hazbin hotel#ask#vox#hazbin headcanons#anon#hazbin alastor
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I've been wanting for a little while to talk about Pandaemonium, and about Hermes, and what I think these two topics have to do with each other, so here goes. The whole time I was playing the story in Pandae, I kept thinking that I wish I could tell Hermes about all this. For one, because Hermes expresses that he feels he's the only one emotionally suffering, yet here is Erichthonios also clearly going through some shit, so maybe they could find some sort of solidarity together.
For two, because I feel Pandae proves Hermes right in his criticisms of the Ancient world. It's essentially every single flaw of their world in microcosm! Let me try to explain:
To start, let's review Hermes and his problems:
This is from the conversation with him after you show him the Elpis flower changing color for you. He expresses the sympathy he feels for creations, and how being forced to put them down for the sake of the star puts him in this ethical crisis. The entire Ancient world is built around this idea of "for the sake of the star" at the expense of all else, including the lives of their creations and their own individual emotions. Because of this, Hermes feels all the more isolated, as if he's the only one who ever feels bad or questions the foundation of their society.
There is something very, very twisted about the fact that Pandaemonium lies geographically below Elpis, the Hell to its symbolic Eden or Heaven. At the very moment Hermes is crying over having to put down dangerous creations, even more dangerous creations are being kept alive in a hellish gothic prison replete with chains and cages.
As I traveled through Pandaemonium, I also kept thinking "Why is it a prison?" Why does such a place even need to exist? As we find out in Anabaseios, the concept of it being a place to research dangerous creations is a cover story, it's more or less Athena's personal laboratory for her to pursue her goal of godhood. I've seen people praise Athena for being a more shallow and simple villain than Emet-Selch for example, but she's not just a megalomaniac:
"I am no different from our peers" is soooo telling. Her obsession with remaking mankind in her image isn't just a selfish madness, it's the ideals of the Ancients, their obsession with making perfect creations for the sake of the star, taken to it's furthest and most insane conclusion! (also note the irony in her belief that a goddess would remake the species better, when Hydaelyn, the only true goddess in the setting, chose to preserve them as they are. Arguably even making them worse by Sundering).
So Athena takes her duty to the star way too far, Lahabrea sees that she's become a danger to the star for it, and kills her, then cuts off the Hephiastos side of himself - another example of how ruthless the Ancients can be and how they justify anything for the sake of the star. Because the Ancients also place a low importance on emotion, he never talks to Erichthonios about Athena. Feeling neglected by his father and curious about his mother, Erich is lead deeper into Pandaemonium and made even more vulnerable to Athena's manipulations. So even if it was one woman's madness that spawned the action in Pandae, the other flaws of Ancient society serve to perpetuate and exacerbate it.
It's also worse mentioning that for Pandae being a prison for dangerous creations, you actually fight more transformed Ancients and corrupted Warders than you do actual animals. As my brother put it in his own meta, Pandae isn't a case of "inmates running the asylum" as much as it is the power that the Warders wield over their creations corrupting them. Athena is indirectly behind the Warder's transformations, but she also took advantage of vulnerabilities that were already there, like Hesperos's fixation on Lahabrea.
And the same obsession with perfect creations for the sake of the star, the abuse of the power over life and death, continues to characterize the Ancients after the Sundering, with the way Emet and the Ascians ruthlessly Rejoin Shards in order to bring back their "perfect" world. But what Elpis and Pandaemonium prove is that the idea of the Ancient world as a paradise is little more than Emet's grief and nostalgia talking. Hermes may have triggered the Final Days, but I feel the blame for destroying "paradise" doesn't lie entirely on him - his crisis was layered on top of myriad flaws with the world he lived in, flaws he felt he didn't have the freedom to talk about because everyone else believed the world was perfect.
Any world where people can't question the foundation of their society is very far from perfect. A world where people ruthlessly wield power over others, both creations and other people, in favor of a grand goal is no paradise. A world in which prisons exist is no paradise.
If my tone started to sound a bit vengeful there, it's because I sympathize deeply with Hermes, and can't help but feel a bit vindicated on his behalf when I think that Pandaemonium proves him right and Emet-selch wrong. But even after I've spent all this time tearing into the Ancient world, I feel like I have to remind both myself and any readers that the point of the conflict between the Ancient and Sundered world in FF14 isn't to objectively compare them and decide which is better and which is worse. Such pragmatism would be in-character for an Ancient, but we don't have to subscribe to their views. Think about it - even if the Ancient world was proven to be a true paradise, we'd still choose our broken world over it, because returning would cost too many lives, and because we love our world not because it is perfect but because it is ours.
The choice is just made a little easier by all this proof that their world was never as perfect as they said it was.
#ff14#ffxiv#ffxiv hermes#pandaemonium#endwalker#ffxiv meta#endwalker spoilers#meta posting on my art blog#Fandaniel was right we do live in a society
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you ever think about the difference in how bomba and demeter talk about Macavity in his song and just OOUUGGHHHH
Look. Listen. When Demeter talks about Macavity in the song she mostly touches upon his abilities and achievements to describe him. It almost sounds like she's bragging about him- she mentions twice that he can outsmart Scotland Yard and refers to his reputation as a criminal and also a magical cat. The only time she refers to his appearance is when she says he is 'outwardly respectable' which -as we all know- is either totally untrue or, at the very least, not true anymore.
Meanwhile Bomba focuses on his physical appearance, and when she describes him it sounds like a completely different guy than Demeter's supposed 'respectable' criminal mastermind: he's unkempt, he's uncombed, his eyes are sunken in, etc. Also in almost direct contradiction to the 'outwardly respectable' line, she additionally claims 'you'd know him if you saw him'. She compares him to a snake, an animal most cats sure as fuck don't like, and calls him a 'monster of depravity'. I'd say her descriptions lean towards accusing him of being inhuman, but these are... you know. Cats. None of them are human. But either way she certainly labels him as completely 'other' than the rest of them: he is a 'fiend in feline shape'.
(And certainly this can be explained away as the two of them just having difference preferences. Bomba, as we know, likes Tugger, and she describes him as a 'curious beast' so clearly she has a type here. Meanwhile Demeter is sometimes depicted as having some kind of love affair with Alonzo, but nowadays she's usually paired up with Munk, a guy who doesn't really seem to display much sexuality in comparison to the other male cats, and demonstrates a lot of competence and emotional intelligence throughout the play. So it does make sense that these two specifically would fixate on these two different aspects of the same man.)
However they almost seem to be in conflict about their hot takes on Macavity. Take the middle section I marked off for example: the first time that 'there's no one like Macavity' bit is sung, Demeter sings it. Then later on, Bomba sings it. But when Bomba sings it she changes the second line, which goes from 'He's broken every human law, he breaks the law of gravity' to 'For he's a fiend in feline shape, a monster of depravity'. She also mirrors Demeter's choreo from the same section as she sings it.
That makes her slight change feel very pointed, especially with the how she gestures towards Demeter during that line.
Demeter, fundamentally, is saying, 'there's no one like Macavity, he can do all of these insane things', and meanwhile Bomba is saying, 'there's no one like Macavity, he's a fucking monster' and she makes sure Demeter knows that's exactly what she's saying too.
& on that note there's even more context there when you look at their demeanor. Demeter seems to have a lot of conflict about her feelings, which is portrayed through her expressions mostly, while Bomba remains almost kind of playful and certainly enthusiastic through the whole song. Demeter --who is vastly conflicted-- tries to talk about Macavity's achievements when describing him. Bomba --who knows exactly what Macavity is and was and feels no shame about it-- is happy to talk about what an abomination he is and how attracted she is to him anyways.
And that makes the 'outwardly respectable/cheats at cards' moment feel really important, because Demeter tries to claim something that may be one thousand percent not even remotely true, (potentially to justify her attraction to Macavity), and Bomba cuts in --sometimes with amusement, sometimes with annoyance, sometimes without particular tone-- and retorts, 'i know he cheats at cards'.
Which regardless of if you interpret that line in the manner that seems most obvious: 'I know he cheated on you' (especially when there's a loaded pause between 'cheats' and 'at cards'), or if you take it to be more general ('I know he's more nefarious than he seems' for example) that line very much seems to be Bomba cutting in there and essentially expressing 'girl, give me a fucking break'. And well, one of Bomba's character words isn't 'frank' for nothing.
I also don't have it pictured in the screenshot, but the third time that 'there's no one like Macavity' bit is sung, it's sung by them both at once, and that notable second line that keeps changing says 'There never was a cat of such deceitfulness and suavity,' which labels Macavity as 'deceitful' but also 'suave', almost as if the two of them decided to compromise on their respective perceptions of the man. Which matches how they, by that point, have begun to dance in sync as well.
#cats fan on main#cats the musical#this is just one interpretation of many of course#tho if you stack on that almost competitiveness that they might seem to have in their descriptions of him#(or how demeter sometimes seems to be surprised or annoyed by bomba's additions)#(or how bomba sometimes is sort of playful or even mean with her delivery of the lines where she contradicts demeter)#(while keeping in mind at the forefront that these two characters obviously love each other and share a deep and protective bond)#then at the end of it all you have a relationship that seems very layered and complicated and dynamic#makes my brain go brr#demeter: macavitys a ~mystery~ cat--#bomba‚ cutting her off‚ hands cupped around her mouth: BOOO HES A FUCKING GINGER#jelliclerants
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Me: have another sacrifice
You Guys: we don't want another sacrifice
Me: Have another
intro: here
ch 2-4: here
Chapters 5-7 Norton and Alice finally meet aahhh
(a small reminder of the size difference)
Ch 5 Alice
“Frederick Kreiburg…. now where have you been?”
Frederick looks away from the painting he was fixated on and sees the familiar journalist and sighs, “found me already…? It’s barely been 24 hours since I’ve returned.”
Alice smiles as she walks over to stand next to him and admire the painting. “You are a creature of habit. There are only three places you frequent. This one being your favorite.”
“Think you’ve got me pinned already~?” There is a hint of a smile in his words.
“I couldn’t possibly, there is so much I don’t know, like why you go to this gallery more than the central one. What makes this one special?” Eyes studying this piece, taking in the flowing colors of the horizon over the open plains captured here. It is enchanting.
Frederick watches as she gets lost in the work, admiring that and nods, “I like the artist. A human who can properly convey the beauty of this planet. He makes you believe you can see what this world was like before the war.”
The journalist blinks with a look of surprise, “you answered a question~”
“Hm, don’t get used to it” he sends a small smile her way, “but I did find someone who is willing to be interviewed.”
It felt as if time stopped all around her, someone willing to be interviewed on this taboo subject. This sounds too good to be true! “Is that what you were doing? Looking for someone willing so I would get off your back?” a short laugh escapes her.
“Not really, it sort of fell into my lap, but the idea of you getting off my back isn’t lost on me~” he turns to face her, “am I right in assuming you’ll accept this opportunity?”
“Absolutely!” with a voice full of confidence as she pulls out her note taker.
They exchange details: location, date, time and a little advice.
“You’re looking for a Norton Campbell. He will likely prefer to talk about working conditions, he is involved in one of the more dangerous lines of work and will likely have frustrations about it. So don’t expect this to be a comfortable conversation. He refuses to come here, so you will need to travel to the outside. Melly could accompany you if you wished it. I know you visit her often.”
Alice is noting all of this down on the holographic pad. “If he requested an interview with only me, then it should only be me that’s there. I don’t want to break any sort of trust between interviewer and interviewee.”
Frederick grips his cane, “I admire your strong views but don’t lose sight that the outside isn’t as safe as it is here.”
A smile is all she shares with him, “just like you Mr. Kreiburg, I also have many secrets~ I assure you; I will be more than fine.”
A little taken a back, he nods, this is an interesting development. Maybe he is underestimating her, or she is overestimating herself. Suppose time will tell. “Very well then, good luck.” Offering a hand for her to shake.
Alice gladly takes it. “Hope you won’t be opposed to me continuing to ‘bump’ into you every now and then~”
He smiles, “as long as it isn’t for your newspaper articles.”
—-
The trip was long to reach this coal mining colony and it’s nothing like the central human city. As she flies her vehicle taking in the area, it just seems so…, tired here. The colors don’t seem as vibrant, likely from the smog and smoke from explosives being used so frequently. She notes that the machinery that is parked all along the mountain side, rows and rows of them and are all old models and run down. The buildings all look like they’ve survived the worst of conditions and are worked on and mended to keep standing and of course, the two peoples are kept separate.
“It’s like this is the most forgotten place on this planet.” She speaks into a recording device. “I— “
The beeping of the radar interrupts, the living quarter she is looking for is right there to the left. Parking her vehicle, she notices some human coal workers watching from the other side of the wide road. Only a person from the central city would be driving such a vehicle, what could someone like her be doing here in all places and visiting him of all people. The strange quiet one, but the most reliable.
Alice gets out of her vehicle, returning a glance at the gawkers before eyeing the abode. It’s been well mended and kept put together nicely. Whoever this Norton fellow is, she can already tell he knows how to make a lot out of a little.
She gets to the door and presses the button that is clearly for humans to signify their presence, waiting a moment, but not hearing anything.
“Hm…” she rings again….
Nothing…
Foot falls can be felt from nearby and seem to be heading this way. Alice hurries to the side of the home to see and freezes in her tracks at the sight of him.
Worn down ragged work clothing covered in dust from coal and rubble, bags under his eyes, a fascinating facial scar, and…a thousand-yard stare she has never seen in person before.
-------------
Ch 6 Norton
Norton is just returning from the mines, dropping his last sack of coal to be picked up by the transporters tonight. His eyes catching movement at the corner of his living place, they zero in on her, the journalist, staring at him. That’s irritating….
“You’re early….” He grunts.
“Ah! Yes, I figured better to be early than late!” She is practically yelling to make sure her voice carries up to him well enough.
Norton scrunches his face, and his ears drop a little, “why are you shoutin, I can hear just fine.” He walks around her and opens the door to go inside.
“Oh, apologies, I assumed from all the explosions that— “
“You assumed wrong. Are you comin in or what.” His voice is dry and scratchy but still manages to maintain that comfortable low tone. From the corner of his eye, he sees her quickly hop skip and hurry on in, that was a little cute, but he will be doing his best to remain indifferent, “This place isn’t human friendly so if you don’t want to be on the floor then I’m going to need to lift you onto the table.”
“Well, my name is Alice, and—“ Alice’s eyes widen when she now registers what he said as this large stranger bends over and reaches for her, “wait, wh—“
His coal dust riddled glove grabs onto her to pluck her up and place her up on the table, leaving her clothes covered in coal grime as well. Mid sigh, she blows at her bangs and assesses this new vantage point.
Norton turns so his back is facing her and hides a smile, he knows exactly what he’s doing and just might enjoy messing with her—-His smile drops when he realizes the thought process he was on, he needs to get his act together. Clearing his throat, he walks over to grab a towel, dampens it with water and starts scrubbing his face over the sink.
Alice is seeing this and realizing maybe it wasn’t such a good idea to be here early. He likely needed that time to clean himself up. Feeling a little bad, she takes a seat on the table and will be patient. Not like she could really go anywhere being up here anyhow.
Noticing his work clothes and seeing the state they are in he sighs, “I really need to change, can you just hold tight?”
“Do whatever you need and take however long you need, shower even.”
He arches a brow as he turns to look at her, “you sayin I stink?”
Alice slowly places a hand to her mouth, not believing how far her boot needs to be in her mouth, and needing to gently clear her throat, “eh hem….no?”
A grunt comes from him in a manner that can only be assumed was his version of a laugh, “I’m messin with you. I know I’m anything but pleasant to behold. Especially for you, from the center city.”
“Oh, not at all Mr— “
“Meh” waving a nonchalant hand in her direction and leaves to clean up in the back room.
---
He returns all cleaned up and in his cleaner pair of work clothes, saving these for guests and when his main pair needs a deep cleaning. Walking over to where his guest is seated, he notices how she is busily typing away on her note taking device. Pulling out his chair he takes a seat and rests his elbow next to her on the table.
“What are you workin on?”
“I have several stories I have running at the same time, keeps me busy, how I like~” she looks up at him and smiles, “ready to begin?”
He eyes her and nods, “ask your questions.”
-----------------
Ch 7 Alice and Norton
The session didn’t go particularly well….
“…. you haven’t answered a single question with anything more than a grunt.” Disappointment threatening to take over her facial features.
“You tellin me you can’t work with that?”
Alice takes a deep breath, “okay…let’s change direction then. What topic are you willing to talk about?”
-grunts- he is clearly bored and tired and hungry and all the things that lead to him finding this irritating.
“Okay, answer 3 questions fully,” she holds up three fingers at him, “no grunt answers will be accepted, if you do this then I will buy you dinner.” She unconsciously wags a finger at him.
Now this has his attention and lifts his chin from the palm of his hand, elbows remaining planted on the table as he folds his arms, “hm, alright, I’m listenin.”
“First question, what do you think about working here with humans?”
He lets out a long-drawn-out sigh that leads him to have to cough out the rest, “I think it sucks.”
“…….and?”
“And what?”
Wits reaching their limit, “Mr. Campbell, please, pleeeaassee give me something to work with.” She is getting desperate now, this man is impossible!
Norton runs a hand down his face, “fine, fine…. how’s about…conditions are difficult, dangerous, and it’s frustrating seeing those machines out there not being the ones sent to do the more dangerous jobs, instead they send us in, saying we are more reliable to get the job done…makes me wonder what humans are even here for.”
“Is it from one of these jobs that you got that scar then?” She points at her own side of her face, mirroring him.
“?” He leans in uncomfortably close, “does my scar bother you?”
Alice sighs, “Mr. Campbell, please, it’s been hours, just answer the question.”
Norton is slightly impressed by that and nods as he pulls away, “no, it wasn’t, but I’ve got plenty of others from em.”
Noting this all down she moves to the next question, “second question.”
“No, that was the second question, about the scar.”
Alice gets a smidge flushed, a temper she never knew she could have is currently being created. She takes a few deep breaths, “then give me more information about it.”
The table was flipped back to him (uno reversed) and Norton is mentally kicking himself. “Well, what do you want? To see them?”
Pointing at his facial scar, “I want to know about that one.”
He folds his arms and slumps back in his chair, “I don’t know where I got this one.”
“You don’t know where you got a scar on your face? Surely, you’re pulling my leg here…”
“I’m not, I don’t know where I got it…I don’t remember.” His tone has a sense of embarrassment behind it.
She looks up and deep into his eyes and sees genuine frustration and confusion behind them. “Hm, okay…third question.…why did you ask to be interviewed when you clearly didn’t want this?”
Norton takes time to think on this, “I owe a favor…and this is what they asked me to do…”
“?” This confuses her, “if you were asked to do this then why aren’t you answering the questions?”
“Well damn, butter me up a little maybe? I can’t just go on and tell you all my shit when I didn’t want to do this in the first place” he blows at his bangs.
“Butter you up? I could do that, but that would require several visits.”
“??” Maybe this could be good, this would buy him time. “You’d do that? Come out here that many times?”
“Sure, I’ll even bring you things, what would you like?” Finally, it feels like she is getting somewhere.
“Ha” he pats the table a little in thought, “how’s about this, surprise me next time. But right now, you owe me dinner, I’m starved.”
Alice packs her things prepared to go to her vehicle and follow him to wherever. “So, I’ll just meet you there the— “
cut short by Norton grabbing her and dropping her on his shoulder, “I hope you know how to hold on.”
She blinks in surprise, “you’re just going to take me there?”
“What? I wasn’t about to risk you just flying off. You owe me a meal and I better get it.”
Sighing, she gets her bearings, slows her breathing, and getting used to THIS vantage point and nods, “so I just ‘hold on’ then? Are you experienced with this?”
“Mhm….and no” answering as he walks over to open the door and step outside into the night. He can feel her tight grip on his shirt. “you’re good at making things look like accidents, so all I’m asking is for you to do it again.” Norton swallows hard as Orpheus’s words replay in his mind. “Not yet” he thinks to himself, “I could get more out of this. I just need to time it right…” He walks with more care in each step, being far more cautious than he originally wished to be as he makes his way to the nearest inn.
#norton campbell#alice deross#frederick kreiburg#identity v#idv prospector#idv#idv norton#identity v norton#nortalice#idv alice#identity v alice#idv alice deross#idv norton campbell#identity v frederick#idv frederick#idv fanfic#idv au#identity v au#zentradi au#let the games FINALLY BEGIN AH
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Do you have an ultimate all time fave Troy scene that you could gush about forever?
Oh god that's such a difficult question. Honest answer would be 'no' because I just cannot choose. I have *so many* favorite Troy scenes that I love to go on and on about. Like, really, I think every ep he is in, I've got at least(!!) one scene I could gush about. I mean, I can't even tell you which ep I love him most in.
Though I do have at least two eps my mind goes to first when asked for favorite Troy scenes - ep 9 and ep12. And again, there's a lot of scenes to love in there but I think most about ep 9 is the confrontation with Madison (and, of course, stabbing his hand on Klah's knife. gotta love that enthusiasm). He's so vulnerable during it, like we get another little puzzle piece of his rich inner life that he keeps so closely guarded (ok or maybe it's also that he wasn't really a hm POV character or someone we should sympathize with that's why his... reasoning or motivation for a lot of things stayed hidden from us 🤷♀️). Anyway, the way he says "is that guilt" and "you let *your son* shoot him" (im obsessed) jesus there's a lot going on there. It seems like betrayal a bit (see also "i thought you were cold-blooded"). Also note how he's more fixated/upset over that part, Nick (and not Madison!) shooting Jeremiah instead of, you know, Jeremiah having been shot/murdered.
Also the infamous "I don't surrender" line, I mean, that's Troy in a nutshell, isn't it? No matter what is thrown his way, no matter how people treat him, he tries and tries again. He does so with Madison (I mean, right before she kills him he tries to move past all that shit right, tries again to connect with her), he also did so with his father, staying loyal to him, obedient, through all that abuse and humiliation and belittlement. I think the same is also true for his relationship with Jake, even though the cracks there can be seen, and also for his relationship with the people on the ranch at large. They talk about him, too, but he still protects them - I mean until he led the horde there, of course. But by that point he was dealing with a lot - his father's death, his own exile, Madison's 'betrayal'.... Anyway, I don't surrender, that is so very Troy. And maybe sometimes he'd like to surrender, give up and be done with everything but that's just not in his nature. Probably why he can't kill himself. Why he also keeps going, when Nick tells him "you can sleep when you're dead". Try, try again, even when people keep beating him down. Downright endearing if it weren't so heartbreaking.
Anyway, ep 9. The scene with Madison. I got distracted. The way he goes "hi" after he's done hitting Klah. The way he kept jabbing at her over Jeremiah's death "You hit your quota?" when she tells him "no more killing" (hahahah makes me laugh every time). The way the gun does not impress him at all. Just casually walking up to her. Mostly sure she won't kill him but I think he wouldn't have minded if she had, either. The voice break when he tells her "i know what you did". The expression he makes when he asks "and why wasn't it" after she goes "It should've been me". There's that betrayal. Sadness. Ok maybe also because his dad died. Maybe because they kept it from him. Maybe because she didn't ask *him* to do it.
And then, the very incomprehensible (he is the one that isn't comprehending. but then also he is. this is how it always goes, why would it be different with madison) "i thought you wanted me with you". As he asks he knows already she doesn't. But again, he's trying as much as he can, to get through to her. Until the heartbreaking "I'm tired. I'm so tired." That's probably as close as he gets in asking for help. He did it with Nick too later, in ep 12 ("I need sleep" he told him but he meant rest). He thought he'd die and these people just refuse to get the job done and so he has to live, live with all this loss and he just, he needs a break. So desperately that he says one of the most vulnerable things (so far). "Im so tired." Unfortunately Madison either doesn't hear it, or, more likely, doesn't think she can give in to that (no wonder, he did just attack her after all). And when that fails, this cry for help (in like Troy-speak), he goes. What else is there to do? He'll go and survive because that's what he does.
---
Now, ep 12, I love the confrontation between Jake and Troy (the little convo in between, between Nick and Troy - "murder, you really wanna go there, nick?" "still ricocheting in your skull, nick?" "you tell it best, nick. I don't want to steal your thunder" "don't say sorry to me, say sorry to him". It's lovely, all of it). And then of course the sibling confrontation. Also very lovely. We see Jake finally giving in to what he's wanted to do for a long time, I wager. He has been fed up with Troy since ep 1 (and before that too, I'm sure. Their interactions do tease a history between them).
"I love that sound" - also very much a contender for favorite line. Also gotta admit I thought he'd say something different (and more uh x-rated) when he went "I love that sound some love when a ball hits the fat of a bat, you know" Anyway, just another reminder that Troy loves all things to do with danger and control. (And I don't even think this has to be in the obvious way, where he loves to be in control, though I'm sure he does. But that he also loves the loss of it when in danger. When at the recieving end of a gun (you best believe I've got a story for this, too, 'fool me twice'... I'm sorry, I cannot stop the shameless self promotion....))
Also I just noticed, how he says "It's eviction or extinction" and you know who else got famously uhm evicted. Adam and Eve. So yeah, when he says "this is biblical" to Nick, the night before, to warn him, he really means it like that.
And then the bit between the two brothers. How Jake tries to impress upon Troy he'll really kill him "I'll shoot you brother, I will" and how Troy *doesn't even hesitate* to pull the trigger himself, almost like saying "fucking do it then". Or he is mocking him. Probably both, considering it's Troy. And he was right, wasn't he, to be mocking. Because Jake doesn't kill him (yet). But Troy tries to rile him up further. He almost sounds panicked in a way, but not in fear of his life. Maybe in fear of Jake *not* going through with it after all.
And then their whole rabbit bit, how Troy looks at Jake while he goes "rabbits they, they scream like human beings", that calculating look. How he interrupts Jake with this mocking laugh and a "oh, tell me about the rabbits" Jake is totally ignoring Troy's interruption, going "I still protected him" and Troy telling him "You left me, brother." And then Jake again, insistently "I always protected you!" and Troy isn't saying anything to that but he doesn't look amused anymore. God I wish Nick would've shut up so we'd really get into their grievances between the brothers. But sadly (or maybe not so sadly haha) he wanted to save Troy because he was feeling guilty about killing his dad. And it gave Troy the perfect opportunity to torture Nick about this, also very enjoyable. All in all, a great interaction all around.
Oh and of course the "you thinking of checking out? we could do it together" has me chanting death-wish, death-wish, death-wish hahahaha. I do think he'd have liked it to go together with his brother. It's sweet somehow. In a way it feels like he wants to help his brother on this journey. Like, then his death means something. And then how he licks his lips when Jake gets ready to shoot him. Is it anticipation, fear? Who knows. Would love to ask Daniel about it...
AND ALSO THE TITLE 'Brother's Keeper', that's a biblical phrase “Am I my brother’s keeper?” Cain said to God when God asked him where Abel was (and Cain had killed him). So I wonder, is Jake Cain then? I mean Jake *does* die and Cain, well, famously does not. But then, it's not Troy that kills Jake. It's Nick hitting Jake before Jake can kill Troy. Would Jake have even killed Troy? I'm not sure. I'm just sure that Troy would rather have died himself than seeing Jake die... anyway, "Am I my brother's keeper" I think this question taken at face value is actually Jake's gripe with Troy. That he feels he is made responsible (probably from a young age, given the little glimpse into the past we got via those video tapes) for keeping Troy in check. While, I imagine, Troy doesn't really listen to Jake (and Jake has no real power over Troy so he can reinforce his will), so a thoroughly frustrating experience for Jake, all in all. And yes, maybe this, assembling a horde and leading it to the ranch, would've given him enough motivation to be able to uhm enforce his will. But maybe not. I guess that's me saying, love the title, love also how we get a bit more insight into the brotherly relationship. Though I *so* wish we got into it even more. Like what did Troy mean when he said "Oh, tell me about the rabbits". Sounds like there's a story there (and yes I did try to imagine it in my story 'childhood memories').
This was a lovely ask, I enjoyed answering it. Thank you so much and have a great day 🧡
Also, I hope it's ok to invite people to jump in, if they feel like it, and share their favorite Troy scene. I'm so very curious 👀 gimme, gimme (also don't feel the need to ramble on like I did hahaha, though if you want to, have at it!)
#ask#troy otto#madison clark#jake otto#nick clark#ftwd#let's make this a group activity#your all time favorite troy otto scene#go
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Feeling some kinda way right now …. I am gender critical (for real, not trans critical and pro gender roles) so I can’t see it the way most people talking about it are… but I am also in mourning for Nex Benedict, murdered, apparently in the bathroom of a Oklahoma school by three girls beating her. And so much of trans activism right now is fixated ok the “transmisogynistic tumblr staff” “issue” to the point most posts about Nex have less than 200, often less than 100, notes here. It’s weird. And I do wanna say, indirectly, to the trans critical person who wrote “happy peaking” in the comments of one of the posts pointing that out………. Yes that is true but we don’t have to say it. To say it makes it less likely to happen for one, and second it is just wrong to say at a time where a girl died, bullied, quite possibly bullied by (reportedly) other girls who were transphobic and probably just anti gnc, sexist and homophobic too. It’s just not the time ever to rub it in their faces. Show them compassion by actually just talking about this death, use your own words about it or defer to how it sounds like Nex (“they/them”) would want to be talked about… either way…. Talk about the event itself and what it says about our society. I don’t choose to express that care by using pronouns in the same way I don’t say prayers I don’t believe the faiths of, but not at all out of disrespect. We can all do that too and talk about this event as gender critical women who engage on this subject, focusing on what happened and how we can oppose this kind of violent, nasty attack. Honestly we have to remember that the conservatives and the queer theorists are both, in different ways, doing great harm. And between the two the former does the most harm to women and girls. Happy peaking to some of us too, I guess, in our own way, on the idea of every issue being “us versus” a trans “them”
100000% agree. i think saying stuff like “happy peaking” about a girl’s death seems quite disconnected and callous ngl. people need to be respectful and remember to be empathetic bc this is a child’s life lost that could’ve been entirely prevented.
it’s also incredibly jarring how tumblr put more energy and attention into talking about some trans woman with a history of harassing people on here & making violent comments being termed than into the killing of a nonbinary girl. they literally treated that tw losing a tumblr blog as worse than murder
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How about 4?
(Because of the reblog)
Hope everything's fine! ✌️
WarioWare Fan Ask Game!
4. Do you have any personal headcanons or interpretations of the characters? (In relation to design, hobbies, connections to other characters, etc)
Tagging @freakattack since they asked about this too. But I will squeeze in more headcanons in that post >:3 (please do not worry I will indulge in stuff here too)
I've been obsessed with this series since 2018, so I have like, about 6 years of headcanons. This does not include me goofing off with the Thangs in my youth, though I love them dearly. ...it's just that this love is overshadowed by ninjas.
Here's a chunk of headcanons:
Orbulon is squishy and very capable of transformation. I'm stealing the idea from @the-ren-amamiya that he cannot change his eyes when transforming into other beings so he still just wears his shades. He fluctuates between both lanky and chubby depending on his mood, but I like thinking of a middle ground between the two...like give him his boots back, please...
Him, Red, and Ana have gotten into transformation antics because we cannot forget that Red is both Ashley's wand and broom. It is very hard to beat those three when they are hiders in hide and seek. I like @scarlett-v-the-fox's idea that Red's transformations must contain the color red somewhere on him. So between that and Orbulon's eyes, only Ana can do a perfect 1 to 1 transformation when she feels like it.
In speaking of Ana, she's a bit like Ash's Pikachu because she likes contorting herself to partially resemble others to emphasize who's she's (or Kat are) talking about. That or she has a non verbal episode...she has quite a few moments where she doesn't want to talk, or simply can't. Yes I am a bit of a believer she has some neurodivergence, because I am in that boat of being neurodivergent and she has the vibes™.
Shadow was specifically bred to be a dog that's an expert in ninjutsu. Most doggos can't quite just turn into a sword. So in a sense, he's an inheritance from the ninja parents...or clan. Honestly I should pull up my notes on how...distant the parents are...if I can find them.
If you know me, you know I am very fixated on the idea that Ana and Lulu end up as besties. Ana still loves Kat. It's just that on the few occasions where Kat isn't around, there was a time Ana latched onto Lulu 'cause next best thing...that and they both love wearing dresses and eating. Ana cannot talk Kat into the whole frilly dress up time. It may not make full sense in most's lores and maybe even canon, but the one I developed with a close friend has those two also be supportive of one another in developing a sense of self. ...I really need to finish that fic where as (pre?) teens where pageant violence happens. ...It's not exactly as exciting as it sounds, but let's just say Ana defended Lulu who was being harassed by others for not being conventionally pretty.
I used to believe that the Thangs literally lived in Club Sugar. It's a tall building, and I tried to recreate that in the Sims 4. That isn't true anymore but Mr. Sugar still has to deal with the Thangs on a 20/7 basis. Also Mr. Sugar has a instagram for his kitty Bochi.
Miyakiyo has a YouTube Channel featuring her dog Jack, the doggo in the "Shake!" microgame from the first game. It's very much like like Maya the Polar Bear, and it's quite popular. She took advantage of the fact that WarioWare featured Jack in a microgame, especially because Wario ain't paying the royalties to feature that doggo. Of course, the twins are still good friends with Miyakiyo and Jack. I just haven't quite decided Miyakiyo's age.
Bridget and Sal Out are rivals...but are much friendlier to each other compared to how Vanessa treats them and Mona.
The doctor from "Listen to the Doctor" has 2 offices, with the one at Caresaway Isle as his vacation workplace. The nurse he works with tends to the one in Diamond City when he's away to that island. Yes he is absolutely the primary care doctor to all of the WarioWare cast.
I have a lot but I'll share more in other posts. Again, got 6 years of being fixated on this series. Feel free to ask for any specifics and what not!
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I ADORED UR DERPY FIC, COULD WE GET SOME HCS WITH HER??? I NEVER EVEN CONSIDERED DERPY YANDERE FICS BUT I AM SO DEEPLY INVESTED NOW U HAVE NO IDEA
Thank you!! I hope these are good c:
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🫧 Derpy's most likely to fall for you if you're a friend of hers! Someone she sees a lot, whether it be around Ponyville or at the post office. Something about you makes Derpy fixate on you and makes her brain talk about you all the time! Maybe it's how funny you are, always making her laugh and brightening up her day with a joke. Or it's how thoughtful you are, asking her about her day or how the kids are or how work's been. Or maybe it's your patience. You never get mad at her for taking her time or getting confused. Derpy knows she can be a bit slow on the uptake and needs things to be done a certain way to do them properly, and it makes other ponies frustrated, thinking she's doing it out of malice. But not you! You're always so patient and respectful. It really warms the mare's heart. She's so lucky to have a friend like you!
💛 Oh, and she'll adore you if you're good with kids, specifically her daughters. Dinky's an easy filly to get along with, bubbly and bright and eager to play and make friends. Nothing would make her happier than watching you and Dinky playing and laughing together. Sparkler, however, is much rougher around the edges and slower to trust and bond with others. If you manage to break down her walls and gain her favor, Derpy will be over the moon! It feels like- like fate! Destiny! Seeing you with her girls feel so natural, like you were a part of the family... And she had always liked the idea of giving her girls another parent... But, that's normal thoughts to have about a friend, right? Even though all of her other friends never make her feel so warm and happy inside.
🫧 It only really hits the mailmare that her feelings for you went beyond friendship when she realized how much she hated not being by your side. She screws up mail orders and package deliveries because she can't think of anything but you! Her brain is always making her think about you. All the time. Every day. It's torture but she can't get enough of it - enough of you. She- she loved you! From then on, she seemed to glue herself to your side, always following you or asking you to hang out, asking you over for dinner, baking batches of muffins to bring you, delivering love letters to you from your "secret admirer", ordering stuff for you just as an excuse to come over, purposefully messing with your mail to make you come down to the office. Luckily for her, your understanding nature had blinded you to Derpy's true intentions, never once blaming or thinking badly of her. And in all honesty, doing stuff like this was fun! It amused her to no end how she could just pull a few strings and have you all to herself, with you none the wiser. Plus, it was out of love. She had to be in the right.
💛 Even when you're sure you're alone, you may begin to feel eyes on you- er, one eye, rather. Derpy's gotta use the other to look where she's going! The mare can't help but giggle to herself whenever she watches you, using her wall eyes to her advantage to keep an eye on you whenever she spots you from afar. On a completely unrelated note, she's also been walking and flying into stuff a lot more. But, she can't help! It's not her fault she gets distracted by you! You're simply too cute to ignore. Although, her wandering sometimes spots other ponies. Other ponies paying a little too much attention to you. Other ponies trying to steal her special somepony!
🫧 Derpy doesn't intend on hurting anypony too badly or anything! No, no, never! But, she knows full well how durable ponies are, considering how many accidents she's gotten into herself. She'd never want somepony to go away forever, just... Remove them from the playing field for a little while. And, speaking of which, hey! Accidents every day, you know? So, if somepony who Derpy thought was being a bit too friendly with you was sent to Ponyville General after a grand piano landed on them... Well, that's just a happy accident!
💛 At some point, she'll build up the courage to invite you over so she can finally confess to you. If you return her feelings, she'll be over the moon. So relieved you love her back, love her just as much as she loves you. She may even start crying as she embraces you, nuzzling into you as you hold her back. She's so lucky to have you. She loves you so, so much. But, if you reject her, she'll go quiet, tears building up in her eyes as she looks everywhere but at you. Wanting to give your friend space, you apologize and try to excuse yourself - but find all the exits magically sealed. Sparkler, a unicorn with exceptional magical ability. She had known about her mother's actions, and still would defend her to the end. She wasn't going to let you break her heart! Dinky thinks it's all a game, excited that you're gonna be having a sleepover at their house. Betrayal settles like a sickness in your stomach and then when you turn back to Derpy you notice her expression. Tears gone, smile wide as she giggles to herself beginning to do a little dance in place. Your eyes widened as cold shock floods your body. This was all her work. And she crashes against you, hugging you close, singing out a, "Gotcha!~"
#yandere x reader#yandere headcanons#yandere imagines#yandere scenarios#yandere mlp#mlp x reader#my little pony x reader#derpy hooves x reader#derpy x reader#yandere derpy hooves#yandere
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I’m curious about your reading experiences with CaPri, you seem as someone who understands the text so well! Could you share some of your experiences with the text? (When you first read it, how many times you’ve re-read it, do you annotate your copies, do you binge-read the trilogy in a week with each reread [like I do], do you have chapters you revisit a lot, etc.)
Hey, so I'm just going through a little backlog of asks!
I feel this is just a niche conversation between you and I tbh, but I'll answer haha. Feel free to directly message me in the future, I'm so open to conversations about the book.
Thank you for saying you think I understand the text so well! That's really kind.
I first got the books on my kindle on the 17th Feb and just binge read them all the way through. I got really fixated on them instantly and.... read them all the way through again, literally straight after. There was something about the way Pacat writes that really hit the spot for me.
I'll be honest though, I tried the book before ages ago (maybe 5 or 6 years ago?) and I was immediately turned off.
What changed? I think because I got into (a different) fandom and started reading fan fiction. Before then I was a huge bookworm, and read everything- though I did lean very much towards literary fiction, the older I got. My many open tabs on AO3 slowly changed my parameters around what fics should look like, the moral framework of them, the spice factor if you will, and so on. Coming from the lawless land of fanfiction where all is allowed and nothing really censored, meant I could come to the text with much more of an open mind.
When I read the trilogy my brain just lit up immediately- the intensity of events, the depth of emotions, the wit and humour, the political machinations and military warfare, the love story...it all combined to make magic amongst my neurons.
My first meta was about a month later, as my brain was 24/7 CaPri brain rot, and I read it another time all the way through, still on kindle.
Then I got The Summer Palace and finally bought all the books in paperback as well. And re-read the books in paperback! So since February I've read them four times. This is when I started to slow down haha.
I don't use tabs or make notes. I tended to just binge read, but do have a job so that meant pausing while at work. I don't necessarily go back and re-visit chapters unless I want to write a meta.
I think re-reading the text is enormously helpful, as reading it the first time is like a sensorial rush of emotion, and the second or third time you can really pay attention to structure and language and character development. Pacat leaves much unsaid and to be deciphered, a 'negative space' as she's called it in interviews, where we have to see what it not being said or what we aren't being directly told and figure things out.
Fandom is an interesting place, and as someone who approaches metas on the text as sort of experiment in literary analysis, I do find it interesting the way people's opinions on the text seem so disparate or different from mine. There are some very strong-minded people on tumblr, and I've seen different camps of people re-read things according to their biases, in different ways. I would perhaps call some of them (not all, but some...) misreadings, also. And regardless, they tend to try and strong-arm you into agreeing with them! I mean, I'm sure I exhibit biases too, but I hope that the least I do is pay attention, try to think things through carefully and come with evidence! And respect true differences of opinion. All I can say is looping back to the source material is important, but ultimately reading and decoding a text can be very personal.
As a final note, I would also say, I came to the books after years and years of intense reading across lots of different genres, and if anyone wanted to get into writing meta for specific texts, reading and thinking widely is an important foundation for that imo.
Hope that answered your question!
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was it just me or was the ending to titans...shitty a little silly.
for someone who hyper fixated on that show for so long, I was kind of disappointed in the ending.
(side note- sorry i'm like in ur ask box every two seconds I just have a lot to say😭😭)
I have to agree with you omg
also don't apologize for sending me messages!!! I love talking about this stuff!!
But like okay I have an entire rant brewing just about the concept of - found family splitting up after they are 'done' with each other??? Like how is that a happy ending??
Like going through the ending:
Jason ends up alone.
Gar ends up alone.
Rachel goes to university - and yes, it looks like she has a lot of friends, but she's an orphan and she just lost the one chance she had at having a biological brother and there is no explicit depiction of her living with Dick and Kory - so her 'independence' is code for her being 'alone'.
Conner does get to meet up with Superman, but there is nothing to say that he is living with the guy or that there's any true parental aspect to the mentor relationship like Conner always wanted. (Because Conner wanted a father, he didn't just want a mentor. And the closest thing he ever had to that was Dick.) So we don't know what his emotional state is actually like.
And the only people who aren't totally alone are the ones who are in traditional romantic couples - which puts a weird emphasis on romantic connections instead of the family or friendship dynamic?
Tbh, I think it would have even been nice if there was a clip of Tim bringing Bernard back to visit his very much alive and well blood related family in Gotham, showing that they are still important to him.
It's so funny, because Dick and Kory got such a romcom ending, and it seems like DickKory fans are convinced that the entire show was written around that ending - no it wasn't. It's just very easy to put a het couple together in the end and hint at them having a baby and call it a happy ending. Like if you think that Dick and Kory would just buy a house off in the burbs somewhere and be peaceful and Dick wouldn't be breathing down Rachel's neck checking on her and Kory wouldn't have to move every few weeks because she'd blow up the neighbours if they put their trashcans in the wrong place - they would not have a cute and peaceful life. Nah.
But like - I am just annoyed that they have to part ways because there is no longer danger to defeat. Why can't they stick together and continue being a family even when the world is safe?
It feels like such a boring and like way too typical idea of a 'happy ending' where each character has to get their own individual happy ending rather than all of them being happy together.
So, here's my ending (like a 'money is no object, all the actors are no busy that day' fantasy ending);
They move back to San Francisco and re-open the Tower and it actually goes well this time. They use it as a place to take in misfit kids who need their help (just like Dick did for Rachel) and they all act as mentors for those kids.
Conner has an active mentor relationship with Superman, but he still has the ongoing support of the family he has always known. Rachel can balance a life of 'being normal' and going to a 'normal' university, but she can still use her newfound powers to help people (if she wants).
Gar spends regular periods of time meditating in the Red to help the welfare of animal kind, but he is always there at family dinners, and when there is animals in danger, he has the team as back-up to help rescue them. He doesn't do it alone. Tim and Bernard have an ongoing relationship; Bernard is outfitting the entire Tower with STAR Labs technology (as an excuse to work with the team) and Tim is continuing his training under Dick's supervision.
The last scenes of the episode would be:
They turn on the news and see that Dove and Wonder Girl have formed a new team, and they have just taken down an international crime ring operating out of Paris (because Dawn can't resist sticking her nose in fishy business and she called Donna when she needed help). Ultimate girl duo.
And one of the last scenes would be - Jason knocking on their door, apologizing, and asking if he can be welcomed back to the team - because he stumbled on a case that's too big for him to handle on his own, and he needs help. Him coming full circle from the Doctor Light storyline, fully maturing, acknowledging that he truly needs the Titans to back him up and he can't always do it on his own.
They accept him back with open arms, they all give him hugs (my personal self indulgence) and the last shot of the show is zooming out as they all lean in to look over the information Jason has brought them.
Like please!!!
Also I said in a different post on my old blog that if I didn't get a Gar/Jason reunion hug in S4 I would sue and I still feel like suing because they didn't have any contact in S4 at all. I feel fucking robbed.
But yeah the ending sucked - like you don't have to split them up. Keep them stuck together. Keep them bonded. Booo
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The Waves That Lap The Shore - Chapter 28 - The Locket
Notes:
WHOOO HI MATEYS!!! Sorry i didn’t update for like a week or almost two lol, just wanted to give myself a break. Also sorry abt how short this one is lol.
Only 12 chapters left of this fic! (that makes me kinda sad to be honest…)but I’ve got some other stuff planned :) hell, even after this fic is finished I might still write the occasional TWTLTS related one shot.
I also have an au called “Invader Kwazii” which is a Octonauts x Invader Zim AU because those are my current fixations atm.
Once this fic is finished (or maybe even sometime soon) I might make one shots for my “Shellinoir” au. (Which is a AU I based off the SpongeBob episode “Squid Noir”) . I’ve got some in mind
Chapter Text
Peso sleepily opened his eyes, rubbing the sleep from them. Shellington was already awake, “Good mornin’ Peso” he smiled “Good morning, Shellington!” Peso smiled back.
“Wanna go get some coffee?” Shellington asked, Peso nodded in agreement.
The two went downstairs, only to see Kwazii and Paani kissing against the refrigerator.
The two pulled away from each other.
“I love you so much, me stupid pancake” Kwazii purred “I love you too, stinky.” Paani said affectionately, Kwazii pretended to be offended. The two then noticed Shellington and Peso standing there.
“Oh uh- hi mateys.” Kwazii said awkwardly Paani looked away from Kwazii and glanced at Peso and Shellington. “Anyway. I gotta go. Me and Selva have to do some important stuff at the beach today. See ya bitches!!!” Paani said, then turning to Kwazii and saying goodbye to him.
“I LOVE YOU BITCH!!!” Paani shouted as he walked out of the kitchen “I LOVE YOU TOO BITCH!!!” Kwazii shouted back.
Paani went downstairs to the Launch Bay.
“Kwazii! Paani! There’s a child here!” Shellington scolded, pointing to Sharchini “why does Kwazii always cuss around the Vegimals” Peso frowned “Im sorry… I’ll try not to…” Kwazii apologized with a frown.
Downstairs, Paani witnessed Dashi and Tweak playing video games (Dashi was failing horribly.) and the Vegimals playing Judge Judy (or in this case, Judge Tunip.)
•••
At the beach
It was a hot, blazing day at the beach.
Paani was sweating in the sweltering heat. It was only 89 degrees outside but it felt like 100.
He and Selva were doing some stuff there, Selva was planting some sea grass while Paani was going to get some water samples (and try his best to well… not turn into a merperson while he was at it.)
Paani watched Selva dig through the sand.
How is she not sweating her ass off? Paani questioned to himself.
Paani ripped off their jacket and through it on the sand “Hey. Selv. I’m gonna go change.” He said, Selva just nodded and Paani went to beach’s restrooms.
Thank goodness I wore extra deodorant today.
Selva thought as she was digging through the sand, planting sea grass.
However she stopped. Something saw something had caught her eye.
Half a locket buried in the sand!
It looked old. It was golden and tarnished.
“Hey Paani, look what I found!” Selva said, holding the locket in her hand. Paani let out a gasp, they then stumbled towards her. “I’ll be my own uncle! It looks just like the other half we have!” Paani replied.
“Do you mind if I take it with me?” Paani asked “Yeah sure you can!” Selva replied, handing Paani the old, sandy locket.
“Thanks Selva!!” Paani said.
•••
Paani walked into Shellington’s lab wearing a vintage suit.
“Hey bitches!!! Selva found the other half of the locket in the Amazon!” Paani boasted, placing the locket on the table.
“It’s the other half!” Shellington beamed, then placing the locket half’s together.
“Don’t you think we should clean it? It’s a wee bit sandy.” Shellington remarked “Yeah, true.” Paani replied “how do we clean it properly though?” Paani questioned “there’s probably some restoration videos on YouTube. And Dashi knows a thing or two about jewelry. Maybe she can help us out?” Shellington suggested, the others nodded in agreement.
The four walked down the hall to Dashi’s room. “Hey Dashi, how do you wash jewelry?” Shellington asked “You get a small bowl and add some warm water and Dawn Dish soap and leave it soak for a few minutes, then you dry it with a microfiber cloth.” Dashi educated.
“Thanks Dashi!” Shellington smiled, then sprinting to the kitchen, the others following him.
The Vegimals weren’t in the kitchen, they were sleeping upstairs, getting some well deserved rest.
“Hey, Kwaz. Pass me the dish soap” Shellington said “Here ya go matey!” Kwazii meowed, throwing the dish soap at Shellington.
“Hey! ¡¿Qué coño Kwazii?! You could’ve hurt him!” Peso scolded “Sorry…” Kwazii frowned Shellington then went to the sink and put some warm water and dish soap into the bowl, then placing the locket in the mixture.
“Now we just have to put it the microwave for a few minutes, right?” Kwazii said jokingly “No Kwazii.” Shellington replied with a giggle.
Paani pulled out his guitar and started playing the jeopardy theme as they waited.
After a few minutes, the locket was clean.
Shellington wiped it off with a microfiber cloth like Dashi had said.
“Now what do we do?” Shellington questioned, turning to the others.
“Hm… maybe we should put it with the other stuff?” Kwazii suggested “Yeah that sounds good.” Shellington replied.
Shellington walked back to his lab, he placed the locket in on a table where all of the Edda related stuff was.
“Wow. We sure have discovered a lot.” Peso remarked, Shellington nodded in response.
Peso and Shellington continued to have a conversation. Paani wasn’t paying attention. The only thing that had her attention was the calendar.
Ah shit! Tomorrow’s Valentines Day!
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I was so surprised to read on here and the notes left on your fics that you have yet to read Fire and Blood because your characterization of Jacaerys is so book canon rather than show canon (which is very insulting to Jacaerys, we are all very lucky that Harry is stunning).
I believe your characterization of Aemond is show only right ? probably a good think, cause to be honest there’s nothing worth ish in book canon Aemond, except for: delusions, misogyny (his obsession with Rhaenyra’s vagina is ugh get a job) and cruelty.
f&b is high on my reading list bc honestly as good of a summarizing job the wiki does, it's not the same as having the whole thing for reference, but i wanna wait until i have a print copy of it just bc i feel like trying to read it online would give me a headache/make me feel like i'm reading another thing for uni (which means i'd end up zoning out on principle).
i'm glad my characterization of jace seems so in line with his book version tho!! i do adore harry's portrayal, it's not as good as what george's written of course but that's on the fault of the show writers/directors than harry himself, and i try to blend show!jace into my characterization as well. that being said, since we're still only on s1 of hotd and even that has given us confusing/contradicting/downright illogical writing choices, it just makes more sense to lean more towards how jace is described in the book. also just, book!jace is so endlessly compelling?? his clear love for his family, his devotion to rhaenyra and their cause, his ability to lead, his cunning+dutiful nature, but also his fierceness and fire (him calling vhagar a hoary old bitch is so personal to me LMAO), his relationship with the dragonseeds, the ultimate tragedy of his life fjsks i could go on and on. the fact that george gives him so many admirable traits while leaving a lot open for interpretation (since f&b isn't written with their povs like asoiaf) also just makes my job as a writer even more fun bc there's so much room to play.
anyway onto the part of your ask that's harder for me to respond to (tbh can it still be called an ask if it's not even really a question? idkidk it's in my askbox so i'm gonna refer to it as such lol)
aemond's characterization is a more complicated affair for me bc while i am heavily leaning into his show characterization (like harry, ewan offers such a stunning portrayal), i also?? don't wanna run the risk of defanging him? from what i've seen of book!aemond, like you mention he def reads as creepy+dirtbaggy (his incredibly gendered fixation on rhaenyra truly makes me want to yak) and while ctf!aemond isn't quite so unbearable, he's also not too saintlike either. bc FMF and CTF are both written from jace's pov, there's a lot that isn't being shown in general but especially with what's going on inside aemond's head and well... let's just say aemond's thought processes aren't all that pretty. in a way, bc of how FMF and CTF are told through jace's eyes and jace already has a lot on his plate to deal with, there's a lot of things he isn't noticing and certain assumptions he makes that aren't as reliable as he thinks.
still, there's a very clear line btwn aegon and aemond in my head while i'm writing (i thought i'd clear this up bc i don't wanna worry anybody and make CTF!aemond seem unlikeable and therefore uninteresting as the male lead). it's just that one of aemond's big appeals to me is how dangerous he is and how, unlike daemon, it's much easier for him to fall on the dark side of the spectrum rather than true gray. he's wrestling with a lot of demons, some he'll win against and some he'll lose, but i believe it was @everythingstucky who once aptly likened my writing of CTF jacemond as jace saying "i can fix him but i won't, if he knows better he'll do it himself and aemond knows better" and to this day, i stick by this description. ultimately, for all his flaws, my characterization of him is steeped in hope for more.
there's a lot of growing aemond's doing offscreen, and a lot of growing he'll be doing with jace, so even though i might not end up writing him as charitably as some people want, i love his character bc he has such a generous capacity for both light and dark. him canonically being kind of a loser for me just means that when he finally does learn, and things do go his way, it feels all the more earned and you can get a sense of pride abt how far he's come/improved
this was all very long and rambly of me but i hope my message came through anyway. and if it didn't, i'm always happy to clarify (barring of course, any spoilers😉)💕💕
#ask#jacemond#ctf#fire and blood#whew this one took me a while to type#hope it made sense#...and didn't disappoint too many ppl#i understand where me eventually writing a darker aemond than initially expected might be offputting#i do it with only love in my heart tho!!
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