#because i cannot fucking dodge for the life of me
Text
Playing Blasphemous and I *still* haven’t gotten past Our Lady of The Charred Visage. It’s been like a week of me fighting this bitch, losing multiple times, having to take anti-rage-quit breaks, coming back the next day, AND LOSING AGAIN. AND AGAIN.
#tw caps#the high wills have it out for me personally#i should have beat Ten Piedad first but i wanted to help Gemino the olive tree guy#and he dies if you beat another boss before OLoTCV#and viridiana-bless her she’s trying her best- only heals me three times and i immediately take more damage#because i cannot fucking dodge for the life of me#and yes i know i can hit the fireballs back at her but if i do i get hit by like the next three fireballs#with no way to stop them#blasphemous game#blasphemous 2019#too many tags#graaaahhh
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
who tf designed the fucking. camel looking motherfucker divine beast I JUST WANNA HAVE A NICE AND FRIENDLY CONVERSATION WITH YOU
#never in my life have i felt so fucking stupid#had to do it with a guide and still didnt understand half of it and it took me like 3 hours ✌#and i ragequitted at the boss fight lol. why is he so fast. how am i supposed to dodge him#i am SO salty right now i started playing this game TO HAVE FUN NOT TO GET ANGRY ON A FINE THURSDAY EVENING#î once again wish there was an easymode because i do not get it :) and i cannot work the controls fast enough#UGH i love you botw but sometimes youre a fucking pain in the ass#ziggy plays zelda
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#they offered him the job yesterday at $10 an hour less than what they originally told him#he asked for $2 an hour more so he would at least be at industry standard#they not only told him no but before he could say I’ll settle for the pay you stated they told him they had moved on to the next candidate#I cannot fucking believe#I kinda feel like he may have dodged a bullet in a way though#because it was sketchy they told him oh it pays $32 an hour#and then changed it to ‘oh actually it pays $22’#also they told him the health insurance is good but forgot to mention that while I would be covered that my rate would be outrageous#idk they told him one thing and then it kept changing#seemed sketchy to me#idk what we’re gonna do now#he doesn’t want to talk about it tonight which fair#but like we need to decide if we’re going househunting in a month or if he wants to try to find a better job and stay for another year#the not knowing is stressing me out#man I feel like life just keeps shutting on us sometimes#there’s a condo we could afford now half an hour away from our target area and I keep thinking that that might be our best option
1 note
·
View note
Text
Cherry Boy. [l.c.]
A new relationship is always difficult to navigate, for Chan, it appears to be even more difficult. For you? You’re just left confused as to why your new boyfriend of a month and a half hasn’t made a move on you despite your very obvious attempts to invite him into your personal space.
You soon realize that your boyfriend is a virgin, and that’s why he’s always running away with his hands covering his bits, even through a simple goodnight kiss.
ao3 | m.list | minors dni! | reblog for chan's happy trail
WORDCOUNT― 10k
PAIRING― lee chan x afab reader
CONTENT― brief break up due to horrible communication skills, virginity loss, reader gets super insecure about her body and personality, fluff, smut obv
NOTE― It's because of those pics...you know the ones. Anyway, shoutout to @ressonancee and @onlyhuis for proof reading this for me! love u guys with my entire being!
smut tags under cut::
SMUT TAGS― virginity loss, makeout session, neck kissing, tit fondling, unprotected sex, belly button kissing, mentions and focus on his happy trail, he’s ticklish oops, blowjob, premature ejaculation, pussy drunk chan forgets how to speak, desperate sex babbling, finger fucking, hand and cock guiding, cream pie
~
Chan has a dilemma, and yes, it’s one that most men would scoff at.
Trust him when he says that he is so very aware of what is happening around him but he simply cannot manage to muster up the courage, strength, or confidence to admit to you, his lovely and patient girlfriend, that he’s dodging your advances solely because he is the text-book definition of virgin.
He is not only nervous about having sex for the first time, but there also comes the weight of him either not being good enough when he tries, or you laughing in his face and mocking him for it.
You, on the other hand, wouldn’t be so fucking in your head if he really could just muster up a tiny amount of confidence to say that to you.
It has been almost two months now since he asked you to be his girlfriend, and throughout this time never once has he done more than a gentle kiss to your lips or lying a slight guiding hand to your waist. It feels so… juvenile, so… middle school for a boyfriend to treat you this way.
Seeing as how the first three dates you went on with him seemed to suggest he was more than willing to be a fulfilling boyfriend who can, hopefully, fill all of the roles that comes with the title– you’re starting to second guess that he ever liked you at all.
Perhaps the twenty-four year old man asked you that night to be his girlfriend out of pity. Or maybe he’s simply changed his mind about you. Regardless of the reason for why he acts like this, it’s getting to you.
Deeply, actually, by this point. It only stung a bit at first, but now it’s starting to feel like he has to be with you as a joke. Why else would he be consistent in wanting to hang out? Why else would he always be inviting you out on well-priced dates and buying you pretty gifts?
It’s a joke.
It has to be a joke.
Oh, but that’s so far from the truth. If you would simply open your eyes, perhaps you’d notice the struggle that your polite little boyfriend goes through each time you try to suggest he make an advance on you.
Even the slight kisses, it makes him suffer from embarrassment at how quickly his body reacts to you.
He likes you so, so fucking much.
~
“I don’t think I’m feeling it today.” You respond to the muffled voice of your “boyfriend” on the phone, asking if he can come over to see you.
“What? Why not?” He asks back, his voice concerned.
“Do you want me to be honest?” You finally say with a long and annoyed sigh, giving up on any hope that this relationship will ever go any further than it already has.
You’re fed up with feeling unwanted, undesired, and possibly even uninteresting. He’s the one person in your life that you care about when it comes to who you are and what you look like. His reaction, or lack thereof, regarding you as both a person and his girlfriend feels astonishing and does nothing more than make you question what it is that you’re doing wrong.
It has to be you, right? Perhaps your body isn’t as pretty as he wants it to be, is that it? Or maybe your voice annoys him? God, what if he cringes thinking of how you’d move if he were to actually have sex with you? What if he doesn’t think about it at all?
You pinch the bridge of your nose, trying not to let the intense insecurity weigh on you. You always promised yourself that you’d never let a man make you rethink your worth.
You need to live up to that promise.
“Chan, it’s been nice and all, but I think we should break up.”
The silence he offers to you is entirely too loud, and feels more like a confirmation in your head that this is the exact choice you should be making right now.
He’s thrown for a loop though, standing at his kitchen table staring off at the wall as you say those words.
What did he do wrong?
“Wha–” He cuts himself off, trying to find words to say. “What’s wrong? Did I do something?”
You let out another breathy sigh, annoyed at the way he plays dumb.
“I’m shocked you’re asking me that. I’ve been wondering if you were ever going to break up with me yourself, y’know?” You let out a sad little chuckle before you feel that insecurity he instilled in you burn against your eyes. “I’m just making it easy for you, so that you can go and spend your time with someone that you’d rather be around.”
He pauses, still dumbfounded by what you’re saying.
“Why are you saying that?” He bellows out in a deeper tone, making you feel as though he’s angry with you now. “I’d rather be around you.”
“Oh? Is that right?” You roll your eyes now, annoyed. “Is that why you push me away when I try to kiss you? Or what about– what about when you left the party last week after I sat on your lap?”
Ah. He knew it. He knew he should have admitted it. Despite his consistent apologies for his body acting on instinct to run away from you, he should have really tried to see from your point of view rather than his own. Even if he only ran to hide the fact that he is horribly aroused by you at all times, in every given moment.
You can hear a pained groan fall from his lips, and a door opening on his end.
“I’m coming over.”
He doesn’t let you protest, and instead hangs up the phone. You sit there in silence at his rejection of your break up. As if it were his choice? As if he had any say in it? You want to break up, that’s final.
Still, that doesn’t explain why you don’t call him back to tell him not to come. It also doesn’t explain why your heart is thumping against your chest in anticipation.
Or, maybe there is something to explain why you’re feeling butterflies over his blatant refusal. Perhaps, this is the first time you’ve felt wanted by him?
That also makes it worse. Why should your boyfriend make you feel this way only when you’re breaking up with him? Why can you only see that he cares when he’s faced with the idea of losing you? By the way he’s acting, you can argue that he wouldn’t be losing anything precious to him if you were to walk out of his life right this moment.
Still, you sit here in wait. More curious now to see if maybe you'll figure out why he refuses to look at or touch you in a way that would show you he wants you.
~
The first thing Chan does when he steps through the door of your apartment is slip his shoes off. The second thing he does is stand there awkwardly, as if every thought left his head upon seeing your face.
You look like you’ve been crying.
“This is my fault.” He says with a slight crack in his voice. “Because I keep hiding from you….right?”
You nod silently, remaining on your couch that faces his timid and stiffened figure.
He stares at you, examining the consequences of his own actions.
“You want to break up because I haven’t tried to, like, do things with you.” He winces as he says it, struggling to not feel awkward talking about having sex. He’s embarrassed, but would be even more embarrassed if he lost a girlfriend over this.
“That’s not the only reason.” You shake your head, looking away from him and to your hands as you pick at your nail beds. “I’d be okay with no sex if you’d simply tell me why. The fact that you haven’t told me anything–” Your voice cracks a little bit, feeling stupid for being so emotional over such a short lived relationship. “It kind of destroyed my confidence.”
He watches the way you refuse eye contact, which is something that stabs him directly in the stomach. He can feel it drop to the floor, adrenaline making its way into that empty space you’re creating for him.
“Before we break up, I just want to know why it took this for you to act like you genuinely might have feelings for me.”
He stumbles over his thoughts the same way he stumbles over his feet trying to approach you.
By now, he doesn’t think he can ever feel more embarrassed than he does at this moment. He crouches down in front of you, sad that you didn’t laugh at the way he nearly knocked himself out on your living room floor. Then he looks at you, chasing your line of sight as if to reassure you through nothing but the air in the room.
“I was afraid you’d laugh at me.” He starts, and after seeing that your expression doesn’t change even a little bit, he continues. “You seemed so into me that I–” He takes a deep breath, willing himself to be as honest as he can be. “I just didn’t know how to act.”
You look at him with irritation at those words.
“Of course I was fucking into you. Why else would I have agreed to be your girlfriend?” You roll your eyes, pushing yourself back into the couch cushions and away from his crouched body. “Think about how I feel. The fact that you just watch me throw myself at you time and time again? The fact that you rejected me every single time? How is that not giving you the answers you need as to why I’m breaking up with you?”
He takes note of that heightened voice of yours, defensive and likely more hurt than you’re letting on.
“Listen–” He breathes in, trying to internally hype himself up to bite the bullet.
You were listening, but he’s keeping whatever it is he’s thinking about in his head for just a second too long.
“No, I think we’re done h-”
“I’m a virgin.” He interrupts you, lowering his gaze to the floor and refusing eye contact with you.
Your eyes shoot to him though. The last thing you would have expected was for him to be a–
“You’re–” You try to repeat his words for confirmation, but he interrupts you again.
“I can promise you it’s not because I don’t want to do these things with you.” He says, still staring at the floor. “It’s because I was afraid that you’d lose interest over it.”
Your mouth falls open as you look at him, every feeling of frustration in your body disappearing almost immediately.
“It’s because I was worried that I wouldn’t be able to, like, be any good at it.” He continues to admit. “I was trying to work up the courage to tell you, or to just like, do it.” He rambles, now scooting back and standing up to his feet. “And if you still want to break up, I understand. I just thought I at least owed you an explanation.”
You watch as he nods to himself in an unsure way, turns on his heel, and heads back to the door to slip his shoes back on.
You sit in stunned silence as your brain erases every single insecurity you gained over this month and a half relationship before jumping to your feet. If anyone could have been more insecure about this than you were, it was him. And now that you can see that, the guilt hits you twice as hard as the presumed break up would have.
“You’re a virgin?” You ask, though that wasn’t at all the words you intended to say. “I mean, you kept pushing me away because you didn’t want to disappoint me?”
He nods timidly, halting his body and still refusing to look at you.
He has one shoe on, and his other foot half in the other when you make your way over to him, closing the distance quickly and confidently.
“Don’t leave.” You say first, before physically moving his body for him to remove that foot from his half-on shoe. “Chan, I’m your girlfriend. We can wait for as long as you need, I just...”
You pause, now feeling annoyed with yourself for making it about you. Then again, it’s not like you could read his mind. Though, thinking back to all of those instances where he pulled away from you before, perhaps you could have read context clues a little better.
“I didn’t know–” You trail off, now determined to save the relationship that both of you accidentally started to sink. “Did I make you feel like you couldn’t tell me?”
He feels…relieved by your words. Saying you could wait, asking what it is that made him so afraid to admit it.
Finally, he presses one foot against his other, pulling his foot out of his shoe and stepping back, looking at you with eyes fonder than you’ve ever seen them.
“It’s not that I felt I couldn’t tell you. I was just embarrassed.”
You very nearly coo out at him, but you keep your distance with both your words and your body now.
“It’s not that I’m not ready to lose it. Especially with you.” He admits, glancing at you for a reaction before sighing. “I think I’ve been ready for a long time, again, I was just embarrassed and also knew that I should probably tell you at some point…”
“You want to give your virginity to me?”
You watch as he blows his hair up through puckered lips, rolling his eyes before smiling at you.
“It’s not that I view virginity as sacred or anything either. There’s just a lot of weight that people tend to put on it, and I wasn’t sure how you’d react.” He tries to explain as his body relaxes by the minute. “I wanted you to be my first time, yeah. When I asked you to be my girlfriend, I knew I wanted you to be the one to show me what all the hype is about.”
You’d laugh if it weren’t for the fact that this is still kind of a touchy subject. You’re not entirely sure how you feel about being someone’s first time, but you know you have feelings for him and to deny him of sex after you blatantly wanted it so bad from him…Okay, maybe you’re just in your head. Of course you’d be happy to be his first time.
Ecstatic even.
“So….” You sway on your feet, looking up at the ceiling before landing your eyes on him playfully. “It’s not because you think I’m disgusting or like, not living up to the standards you want for a girlfriend?”
“Jesus, no.” He says.
You watch him scratch the back of his head, still probably embarrassed by how low this relationship had fallen due to the awful communication skills.
“And you’re also kind of admitting that you have thought about it?” You continue, prying out the words you’ve wanted to hear so badly since you met him.
He pulls back only a little bit, his cheeks warming at the words and the way his brain automatically thrusts him into the thoughts of all of those nights where he absolutely fucking thought about it.
“Y-yeah. Yes. I have thought about it.” He nods in a self-reassuring way as his eyes land on everything in the room but you.
You’re quick to give him your own reassurance though, trying to learn his boundary now that the secret is out and the relationship appears to have a second chance at succeeding.
He can feel you close in on him, wrapping your arms around his middle and nuzzling your face against his neck. There, he holds you back, breathing in deep and feeling the scent of you wash through his body.
Quite literally actually. As he would normally avoid, his lower half reacts far too quickly to even the simplest of touches from you.
He pulls back on instinct, but you don’t release your grip this time.
“You seem as ready as ever, I’ll admit.” You laugh upon feeling him stiffen against you, but you really do try not to shame him for it. “Still, we can wait until you feel ready enough to give it a shot, okay?”
He nods, entirely reassured by the way you don’t press up against it or comment any further about the happenings in his pants right now. Then he sighs out.
“I can imagine I must look like an idiot right now, getting hard over a fucking hug.” He finally says as he pulls from the hug and makes his way back to your living room. “But we’re okay, right? You’re not breaking up with me?”
You follow after him, keeping your sexual distance, but absolutely indulging in the loving, sweet, and careful cuddling you’ve wanted to do with him for so long now.
He appears comfortable when you tuck yourself under his arm and rest your head on his chest before answering him.
“I’m not breaking up with you,” You say, feeling his chest heave with each breath and intentionally ignoring the blatant tent in his pants slowly fall back into its flaccid position as he calms down. “It’s kinda cute, you know? That you were so worried about it.”
His cheeks are still on fire, willing his body to calm itself through this sweet session of cuddling. He doesn’t want to ruin the moment with you, and still, it is embarrassing in the way he knows you’re ignoring it for his sake too.
But goddamn, how heavenly it would be for you to like, touch it right now…..or something.
“Never thought of it as cute, if I’m being honest.” He tries to joke. “If anything, maybe it's a little pathetic on my part.”
You shake your head against him, feeling more confident of your place in his life.
“Pathetic? Don’t be mean to yourself. Besides, it’s kind of hot knowing that you got so turned on over a simple hug.” You laugh, hoping you’re not crossing a boundary. “No wonder you ran so fast when I sat on your lap, I definitely would have felt that on me.”
“Alright, alright–” He tries to hush you of your playful remarks, but ultimately, if you really think it’s an attractive aspect of whatever sexual dynamic the two of you will come to have, he’s going to make damn sure you see just how fucking turned on you make him.
~
Things are good. Great even, now that you can pin point each moment your boyfriend gets a little too overwhelmed with you. He does still push you away, probably out of instinct but he doesn’t shy away nearly as much from intimate moments with you. Especially if the two of you are alone together.
You’re a bit more careful in public or with friends though, because the last thing you want to do is make him feel insecure about it. Still, there are playful moments where you indulge in the act of touching him or kissing him just to get him excited, just to watch him stutter his way through ordering something.
The point is, you almost ended a relationship with someone who, arguably, makes you feel more wanted than you ever knew you could. It’s nice, and it feels good.
Even now, this is only your second full on make-out session with him, you feel absolutely adored. It’s cute in the way he’s trying to train himself to not get hard at even the simplest of touches, it’s even cuter when his efforts fail miserably and he’s arching his body away from you as if he could even hide what he’s packing.
You don’t push for more, despite wanting it badly. He also doesn’t push…despite also wanting it just as much as you do, if not more. He still seems to need a push of confidence to actually go any further than a nice, non-body touching makeout session.
This is fine though, and you indulge far more than you ever knew you would when it comes to this kind of thing. As if simply licking into his mouth is foreplay enough to counter a fucking blowjob for him.
Never in your life did you think you’d be this into the fact that your boyfriend is a virgin. And it’s not even that he’s never had sex, it’s that he seems to want it so bad, and there’s just something about a man who is desperate that gets you going these days.
Still, kissing him is something that fulfills you, especially with the way he’s avoiding his lower half and keeping it away from you.
He kisses you back in a telling way though, more telling than that tent in his sweatpants that you can visualize even while your eyes are closed. He radiates the arousal through the way he moves his lips against yours, and the way he lets out little suffering sounds when you kiss him harder and harder.
His hands stay against your face, neck, and sometimes your waist, but god. His kissing is genuinely just so good with the way it tells on him every few seconds.
And when he pulls back, he’s out of breath, flushed, and looking as if he would want nothing more than for you to hint, to lay down some sort of implication that he can cling to for relief from the heaviness that’s been in his pants since the fucking relationship started.
You wonder if tonight is the night, because he doesn’t appear to want to stop making out like he did last time. If anything, as he looks at you with those heaving breaths, you can tell he’s thinking harder than he ever has about it.
“Chan,” You whisper out to him, just inches from his face. “Do you think of me?”
When he keeps his eyes on you, seemingly stunned by your question, you continue.
“Do you think of me after you leave? When you’re all by yourself in your room–” You turn your head so that your eyes can trail to the space he is attempting to keep from you. “When you’re touching yourself?”
He feels the words run straight through him, causing an utterly pathetic twitch in his pants. The way your voice comes out soft and sensual as you ask him, as you look at him. He doesn’t even remember words at this moment, not even a simple “yes”.
He tries to answer by losing a little bit of his self control, turning your head back to him with his palm just so he can chase against your lips out of the sheer arousal, but you pull away.
“Do you?” You continue, encouraging him to answer you.
“So much,” He wills himself to whisper confidently, ignoring the fact that his body just forced him to rut up and against nothing, all for you to see. “Every time I leave,” He puts emphasis on his words. “Sometimes I can’t even make it home first.”
You smile at the image of him rubbing against himself in his car, so desperate to relieve himself of what you do to him each time he comes to see you. Not even making it out of the seatbelt before releasing all over himself, all in his pants. Shaking, panting, all alone and without you.
“Cute,” You chuckle, finally turning your head slightly and landing a pop kiss on him. “I think of you when I do it too, every time you leave.”
He looks at you, willing his hips to stay put as he thinks about the image of you doing that in this very room, to images and thoughts of him.
“You do?” He asks for reassurance easily.
“Mhm,” You look away from him as you sit straight up and then scoot down the bed. There, you lay yourself down against your pillows and look at him. “Come here.”
He’s reluctant to take your hand. But even he can admit that this side by side makeout session is starting to hurt his neck, and you’re clearly asking him to get on top of you right now.
“You don’t have to but, Chan–” You say, looking down, “I don’t want you to leave this time.”
Well, shit, all you had to do was say that. Honestly, the way you look at him with pure acceptance is enough to push him past the wall in his head that keeps him from finally trying to take the next step. You accept him as he is now, surely you’d accept him if he…. doesn’t last, right? What about if he isn’t good at it?
Still, he finds himself planting one hand on the other side of your head to balance himself on top of you. Still just hovering, not yet wanting or willing to, you know, put it against you.
You smile.
“It’s okay, I can tell you’re nervous. We don’t have to do anything else, I’m happy with just this.”
And then you both fall back into another, much more comfortable and natural feeling, makeout session.
As much as you’d love for him to try and take control, his reluctance allows you to contain yourself. It allows you to respect him and his decision of whether or not he wants to do anything more than this. Still, this satisfies you. And if he really does stay, maybe he wouldn’t be entirely against watching you take care of your own arousal for him. Maybe he’d feel better watching even, taking notes on what you like, learning where to touch you.
And you know, that really would have been okay but you can’t help but feel like he’s definitely wanting more. With the way his lips grow hungrier rather than more tired, with the way he’s starting to moan shamelessly into your mouth, with the way his hands are trying to travel to more intimate places on your body before stopping himself.
You might be pushing it with the assumption, but it doesn’t hurt to try and help him, right?
When you feel his hands moving to your waist, up, up, and up until they’re just barely brushing against the underside of your breast, he pulls back again and pulls your shirt down to cover the exposed skin, all while kissing you harder.
You place your hand over his, wasting not even a second as you guide him back under your shirt, right up to where you know he wants to touch.
And holy fuck does he. He doesn’t even pull back when you lay it against the warm and exposed flesh from under your shirt. His hand immediately starts groping. His lips immediately stutter against you in a relieved sigh from him, and all you can do is kiss him now with the same energy he seems to have in that one single hand.
“You’re allowed to touch me, but if you need help doing it, just tell me–” You pull back to whisper, trying to take it another step further in the act of kissing against his jaw and down his neck. “I want to touch you too, but I’ll keep my hands to myself unless you tell me otherwise.”
It’s like he really forgets how to talk or give proper consent when his entire body is acting like a fucking greenlight for you right now. He feels so pathetic, on the verge of orgasm with nothing more than the soft fabric of his sweatpants to relieve him, and yet your breast in his hand, nipple hardening under his palm before he musters the courage to put it between his fingers, it’s a lot to take in, okay?
Still, he tries to say something, and he’s even more embarrassed by the way his voice sounds like it isn’t even his own. He sounds broken when the sound reaches his ears.
“Don’t–” He starts, cutting himself off at the feeling of your lips kissing against the pulse point of his neck.
“Hm?” You ask, pulling back and away, hoping you didn’t press too much.
“Don’t stop.” He mutters out again, a little less embarrassed now that he feels you sigh against that same pulse point with the way his fingers fondle your nipple mindlessly. “Don’t keep your hands to yourself.”
Your brain falls into a stunned silence at his words, bringing a type of nervousness to bubble up in your own body. Is this really it? Is this when it’s going to happen? On a saturday night, against your pillows, muffled cartoons playing in the background…..past ten in the evening?
You can’t help it as you kiss against his neck. You really can’t, with the way he opens himself up to be vulnerable with you while actively being on top of you, while playing with your breasts, while containing himself.
He seems to need you to do the pushing, but you really cannot shake the nervousness of being his first. You’re almost certain he is nervous about so many things, but still he appears to be eager to try. He’s eager to be with you, and, ultimately, to know what it feels like to be with another person that matters to him in that way.
“Is there–” You stop, breath caught in your throat, only to fall out against his throat when he finally seems to have the confidence to make his first move. One that would seem so small to anyone else, but he– he raises a hand and holds the back of your neck, trying to press your lips and guide them to the area of his neck that he wants you to kiss.
And you do, with blatant encouragement to him for doing that, all while trying to finish your previous thought.
“Is there anything you want me to do for you?” You ask, kissing and now, licking against the spot on his neck that makes him shiver.
He sighs in a shudder, craning his neck to expose more skin for you before his hand stills against your nipple and he pulls his hand from your shirt.
“All of it?” He starts, a bit unsure of himself. “Everything?” He adds, pulling himself back from your lips and watching you fall back to your pillows. He leans his body up, relieving his legs from his weight and sitting on his heels in front of you, only slightly between your legs now.
You can see that he has a bit more confidence with the way he’s looking at you.
“I want to try all of it.” He continues, placing two hands on your knees, pushing your legs together and using his palms to make them sway left and right. It’s as if he’s thinking hard. “I mean, if you want to.”
You smile.
You want nothing more than to do this with him, for him, and for yourself.
“Yeah?” You ask for confirmation, now lifting yourself and re-positioning yourself onto your knees to mimic his own stance.
He nods in a blatant and shy way, knowing that you can physically see how badly he wants this, and how badly he wants you to be the one to do this with him. He’s achingly hard, and he isn’t sure if he’s ever managed to get this fucking hard in his entire life.
It really is painfully arousing, with the way his pants stretch against the head when he’s sitting like this. The way the fabric offers little to no sensation but while looking at you, he feels all fucked up and warm. He tries to forget that there’s precum all over him, seeping through the pants that are presented before you, and god, the way you look right at it.
He doesn’t shy away despite being as shy as he could possibly be right now. In fact, when your eyes trail back up to him, licking your lips before smiling, he a fucking goner. He knew he wanted you bad, but never did he know he needed you this badly.
He’s so fucking lucky.
“It looks… big.” You comment, leaning forward only slightly and sizing your boyfriend up. “But for your sake, I’ll try to control myself from moving too fast. I’ll go slow, okay?”
He doesn’t even nod, he’s too entranced with you in front of him, fully clothed, lifting his own shirt off of him as if he is incapable of doing it himself. Then again, he kind of is incapable at this moment. He swears his IQ must’ve dropped to a single digit by this point.
And when that shirt comes up and over his head, you note that he doesn’t even blink. That small moment where his face was obscured as you pulled it off of him? His eyes stayed on you both before and after, only now– his hair is a total fucking mess and all you can do is feel endeared by it.
“God, you’re so fucking attractive,” You groan in sexual frustration with an eyeroll. “I can’t believe someone hasn’t jumped your bones yet.”
Now he breaks eye contact at the praise, glancing away from you and trying his hardest not to smile like an idiot at those words.
“To be fair, I’ve fucked up my fair share of relationships being embarrassed.” He laughs. “Kinda glad I did though.”
You land your eyes back on him, staring blankly at his naked chest and trying your damnedest not to look at him like he’s some piece of meat. But goddamn, the body of this man.
“Come here, switch places with me.” You smile, reaching forward and trying not to think too hard about the way his arms flex when you grip them to move him. “Here, lay back.”
And within seconds, you’re between his legs and looking down at his half-lidded, arousal driven eyes.
“Fuck, really?” You groan again, glancing away. “It’s really taking everything in me, Chan, it really is.”
His heart is doing flips as he stares up at you. He feels doted on, adored, attractive. So he encourages more of those annoyed praises from you.
“Taking everything in you to…?”
You chuckle, because the audacity of this drunk and in love fool.
“Do you have any idea how badly I’ve wanted to be in this exact position?” You smile, reaching down to run your fingers down his chest and straight to that happy trail that he so readily hid from you. “It’s taking everything in me to slow down–”
“Then don’t.” He says proudly, albeit still a bit shy at your words.
You can see how red his ears are, only partially hidden by that head of messy ass hair. His stupid pretty eyes and gentle smile are directed straight at you without any type of reluctance.
“There’s my confident boyfriend.” You chuckle, toying with the hair beneath his belly button and trying to not comment on the way his body jumps a bit at the feeling. “Was wondering where he went after he asked me to be his girlfriend.”
And he remains silent after that, watching the way you take the reins and lean down to kiss against that same spot of his neck. Warm breath fanning over the skin before attaching yourself there.
Surely you can feel the way his hips react, humping up at each flutter of your lips. If you couldn’t, he knows for a fact that you’ll be able to now. With the way you trail down, across his own sensitive nipples, and then down, down, down.
He glances down at you at the same time when you glance up at him and right then and there he thinks he melts. He’s never seen a woman look at him from this angle, and it’s only a little bit detrimental to his heavy and pathetic cock. The twitching never stops, he feels so fucking sticky in his pants and it really just doesn’t stop. Continuous leaking, and he really had no idea that there could even be this much pre-cum.
Then, he’s pulled out of his thoughts with….a tickle?
“Oh?” You smile, leaning down to repeat that lick up his happy trail before landing a kiss straight on his belly button.
His body jumps again, and he lets out a moaned chucked unintentionally.
“Oh.” You smile wider, gripping both of his hips with your hands and holding him down in a playful way. Repeating the act once again.
Your suspicions are confirmed with a third jump of his body, and another chuckled, frustrated moan.
“So, he’s ticklish too?” You say with another kiss against his belly button before fluttering your fingers at the side of his hips.
His entire body goes rigid before melting against the bed in an attempt to not react to the way you take advantage of a hidden weakness he had. God, he should have known that…like, sex stuff could be ticklish.
“No– I’m not.” He lies, jolting again when you continue to test the resilience he thinks he has against your lips and fingers. “Hey–!”
And, well, you would’ve stopped if it weren’t for the fact that his hips raise with each tickled sensation, and you can genuinely feel how damp and heavy he is in his pants. It’s entirely arousing in the way its weight is obvious through his attempts to wiggle from your ticklish touches.
“Alright,” You finally relent, landing one final kiss to his belly before licking down that same line of hair he offers his body. “Chan, I want to–”
His hips immediately raise to your words, the wetness from your tongue feels like ice against his skin when the air hits it and at this point, he thinks he knows what you’re suggesting.
“Please–” He nearly cries out in a stutter. “Touch it.”
You smile as you nuzzle your nose against his abdomen before giving him a short nod that you know he doesn’t see. Considering, well, he just threw his arm over his face and keeps his hips tensed, and his ass only slightly lifted off of the bed.
Desperate. Willing.
You prepare yourself for seeing it for the first time by not seeing it at all just yet. Instead, you kiss down until your lips are met with warm, damp fabric. Immediately you can feel his length twitch under your lips when you reach it, and all you can manage to do is flatten your tongue out and against it to feel it pulse again.
And again, until that same arm thrown over his face reaches down in a desperate attempt to take the pants off for you. He’s the one losing his self control now, no embarrassment or nervousness in sight from him, and it’s so fucking attractive to see him do it.
His shaking fingers fumbling with the waistband, shoving the pants down just an inch or so more to reveal more of that trimmed hair.
You don’t comment on the way he’s acting out of fear that it’ll make him feel shamed or even mocked, despite you truly believing it might just be the hottest thing you’ve ever seen a man do in front of you.
Instead, you help him. Sinking your own fingers beneath his pants and tugging them down all in one go before allowing your eyes to land on it.
“Jesus fucking christ.” He moans out, the air alone offering an overwhelming amount of sensation due to the temperature change he now feels between his legs.
You finally look at it, so dark in color. As if all of the blood in his body resides only here. You gently move your hand just over it, feeling the heat radiate from him, seeing the precum continuously dribble from the head, and then, finally–
“You’re so….” You trail off, in awe of the way his body just….keeps reacting. So much pre-cum. “Hard.”
He releases a broken little sound at the feeling of your fingers finally touch him, and it feels insanely different from when he touches it himself. As if he’s not in control of his pleasure, and it’s all just you. You are the one who feels good against him.
You’re shocked briefly when his hand makes it’s way back down to yours, grabbing it and essentially trying to get you to stimulate him more. He puts so much pressure against your hand, sandwiching it between his own palm and stiffened cock.
You’re tuly in awe. This man has essentially edged himself to a world record, surely.
“Slow down,” You try to soothe him, moving your hand against him and watching him retract his hand. “Relax, It must feel good, right?”
That little sob he lets out shows you his frustration. So needy, so ready. And even with you moving your fingers to circle his pulsing length, his hips continuously fuck up, not allowing him to have even a moment without a forceful amount of stimulation.
“So good,” He moans, entire brain focused on what your hand is doing and unable to open his eyes. “I want it so bad.”
You don’t think he hears you chuckle and you’re thankful he doesn’t. You can imagine he would genuinely be embarrassed to know you’re witnessing his pure blissed-out and aroused-state of mind right now.
And it’s not shocking that he’s entirely focused on himself at this moment, because he’s the one experiencing this for the first time. Even if you find it hard to believe that another woman has never touched his dick, you’re entirely flattered that it very well may be the case and that he wanted you to be the one to make him feel this good.
“I’ll give it to you, just relax. I’m not going to stop.” You reassure his needy movements, and the way his body squirms at the slightest of touches. “What feels good?”
God, he’s so frustrated.
“All of it.” He groans shortly, trying to take in a deep breath and just relax like you asked him too.
You nod to his closed eyes and slacked mouth, fighting against his hips to be the one to pleasure him rather than himself and only when you blow a gentle breath against the head of his cock do his hips still and he shoots his hands up to your pillows, gripping them as if he’s preparing for something.
You watch intently at the way he’s actively fighting to move now, waiting impatiently for you to do something now. Licking his lips, chewing on his bottom lip– god, he’s so pretty up there.
Then, you grant him a new sensation. Only because by this point you’re the one who is about to lose control.
You stick out your tongue and lick all the way from his balls to the head of his cock, making sure to keep pressure against it so that you can taste all of the arousal he’s spilled up until now. And while you were going to pull back to examine his reaction, this is the part where you release your self control.
The taste alone was enough to have you moaning, vibrating your voice against the vein of his length and then circling your lips around the head.
Instantly, you suck at the feeling of pre-cum still pouring out of him. This time, there seems to be more. Coating your tongue with an almost sweetened salty taste.
You feel briefly the way his hips chase the new warmth, clearly wanting to tuck itself into your mouth and quite possibly, down your throat, but you pull back and blow once again against the head.
His entire body shivers as you glance up at him.
You can barely comprehend just how into you he looks right now before rolling your own eyes in arousal at the image before immediately giving him everything your mouth has to offer.
Who cares if he comes too fast? Fucking look at him. You’d be stupid not to suck the absolute life out of him! That’s your boyfriend up there, chewing on his bottom lip, eyes sparkling through hooded lids, chest heaving–
And god, you almost wish he wasn’t as big as he is because it’s difficult to keep your eyes open when you take it in. You have to focus on sliding it through your lips, against your tongue, and right up to the back of your throat where the head of his cock bumps.
He can feel the way your fingers grip his legs through it, and by this point he has gone entirely non-verbal at the feeling.
The only sound he can make comes from deep within his chest, and he can only release those sounds with heaved out and rigid breaths. His heart is pumping faster and faster the deeper you managed to take him, and–
“Ah! W-wait!” He panics, sitting straight up and becoming fucking floored at the way you stay on him. Moving your hands to his stomach and trying to shove him back. “Fuck,” He seethes as he takes in a sharp inhale, legs shaking as he flops back against the pillows. “Fuck, i’m sorry.” He continues to murmur, feeling himself hit the wall of orgasm and practically pulverize it.
And you, oh, you. You taste it. You feel the twitching and the way his muscles stiffen under your fingers. You can hear him muttering apologies as it spills into your mouth, down your throat, and even out of the corners of your lips.
You try to take all of it, up until you can’t fucking breathe, and only then do you pull up and replace your mouth with your hand, watching in awe at the way he just……
It doesn’t fucking stop.
He went from rigid to stammering his words, to now blatantly and full-on moaning through both the pleasure and frustration of losing the warmth of your mouth.
“God, Chan….” You whisper in a raspy voice, slowing your hands and intentionally pumping it out of him by now.
“I’m sorry–” He stammers, body still shaking as you pull the rest of it out of him. “I tried to,” He winces with another unintentional moan. “I didn’t think it would feel that good.”
You smile both proudly and fondly, watching him stumble through his words and whatever excuse he tries to come up with.
“I don’t think you know how hot you look right now.” You finally say, in a more stern voice. “You couldn’t have stopped me if you wanted to.”
Only now, when he’s absolutely drenched himself in his release does he open his eyes in a drowsy way. He looks at you and that little smile on your lips and decides that, yeah, he can believe you. He trusts you, and he’s entirely obsessed with you.
“But we still haven’t–”
You cut him off quickly.
“We have all night. All day tomorrow. All week, month, year. I don’t care.” You dead-pan, reaching for his, somehow, still hard length. “Chan.” You add, gripping it and testing the actual hardness of it. “You’re still hard, which is fucking amazing by the way, and you have no idea how wet I am right now.”
Oh, my god. He forgot.
“You– you’re turned on?” He asks, looking away from you.
“So fucking turned on.” You confirm for him, now releasing his length to give him a bit of a rest, considering he must not realize he’s still shaking. “Look, feel.”
You say it as you crawl up and on top of him, seating yourself right up against his abdomen and grabbing his hand.
He just stares, watching you guide his hand straight to the seat of your shorts.
“Oh.” He sighs out.
“Even through my shorts. See? Feel it.” You continue to move his hand against you, trying not to rut your own hips up much like he was doing before.
Brain malfunction. He doesn’t even have a fucking IQ at this point as his cock immediately reacts in all of it’s sensitive, pathetic glory.
“Do you want me to, um,” He swallows around a breath he didn’t know he needed. “touch you? Can I try?”
You sigh, relieved that he’s willing and immediately push yourself off of him and take care of all of the busy-work as quickly as possible. ie: taking off your clothes.
Unfortunately, you somehow briefly forgot that the man is still a fucking virgin. You can very nearly see his mouth fall open at your nude body being revealed to him. Even more so, you can see the dribble of saliva that he doesn’t quite catch fast enough, and his cock reacts.
“You’re so cute, god.” You praise with the same compliment you’ve been giving him all night.
And when you seat yourself next to him, hugging one of his arms and tucking it between your legs before closing your thighs around it, you smile at him and the way he literally cannot stop staring with his mouth agape.
“Babe, you’re drooling.” You chuckle, shifting your hips a bit to rub yourself against his knuckles, where you’re still hugging his arm.
Only then does he slurp up his embarrassment and try to remain calm. His fogged brain comes back to him quickly upon your comments as he wills himself to sit up beside you.
He gets to….touch you.
And boy does he.
Eagerly, messily, and quite frankly, kind of embarrassingly.
You make it easier for him though, laughing as you flop back and spread your legs for him. He’s quick to simply…explore. He’s not aiming for any singular area of your pussy because to be quite honest, he’s still struggling to stop staring at the entirety of you.
You watch his eyes, the way they stare at your tits, then your thighs, your pussy being petted by his fingertips, and then– eye contact.
He seems so sure of himself despite still managing to barely touch the clit. It doesn’t bother you one bit, because his eager fingers still find ways to touch you beautifully. There’s so much intent behind the messy movements.
Slipping and sliding two fingers between your lips, up your folds, and then stopping just short of your clit before sliding back down and feeling where his cock would go if he manages to make it this far.
I mean, surely he will, right? He’s losing his virginity as he does this right now, even. Foreplay still counts, right?
And then, after several minutes of him exploring, learning, and practically teasing you half to death, you reach down to guide him.
“Right here,” You soothe out in a soft voice, pressing his fingers against your clit and seeing him take note of it. “And here.” You trail his fingers down until they reach your clenched hole, and you very slightly press against his fingers so that the tips just barely enter you.
He tilts his head at you, concentrating on where you lead him before releasing his hand and essentially leaving him to his own devices now.
And you know, he did tell you he was a quick learner, because almost immediately he’s experimenting with putting a finger into you, and using his other hand to find a rhythm to rub against your clit.
The whole time, he checks for your reaction, noting when your breathing hitches and when your body tenses. He continues, trying to only do things that make your body react and soon, you’re already turning to mush beneath him.
His fingers circle and tap your clit at a quick pace, with the other twisted inside of you. When he slides his finger out, and then back in, he rubs your clit harder, and god, yeah. Okay. You see his effort, and it’s such a good fucking effort too.
“Feels good,” You finally moan out for him, allowing yourself to give in to the pure arousal of the entire situation taking place. Thinking hard about what it would feel like to have such a desperate cock inside of you. “Use two fingers?”
He listens instantly, moaning along with you when he slides the other in with the next thrust. His fingers against your clit trail down shortly after, curiosity getting the best of him when he spreads your lips open to see you stretch around his fingers.
“It’s so warm–” He comments more to himself than to you, watching the way you pulse around him, watching the way your slick seeps out of you. It’s so hot for him to see it up close like this, and his pace slows at the image before him. “Can you take more than two?”
You lift your head in amazement at how he could ask such a thing.
“Chan.” You smile at the way he jumps in surprise at your sudden, louder voice. Fingers nearly slipping out of you. “I can take way more than just two fingers.” You glance down between his legs. “Way, way more.”
He glances down to what you’re looking at before letting out an embarrassed sob.
“You’re really going to let me?” He nearly whines in excitement.
You nod, reaching for him and pulling him to you by his shoulders. You land a kiss against his lips, trying not to shake at the way his fingers angle different inside of you as he moves to chase your lips.
“Mhm,” You soothe against his lips, intentionally scooting your hips down to your best ability to sink his fingers into you more. “Move your fingers– it feels good like this.”
He listens, feeling you throw your arms around his neck and cling to him through it, all while moaning and groaning right up against his lips. You’re not even kissing him, you’re just….acting like this and it’s fucking great.
He thought he would be the only one to be desperate in this situation, yet here you are, clinging to him as he works his fingers in you.
“When?” He finally asks upon noting the way you start to move your hips against his fingers.
You peek your eyes open and pull back to look at him.
“Now? Do you want to do it now?”
He nods, slipping his fingers out of you and inspecting how wet they’ve become.
“Can I?”
You finally fall back, leaning against your elbows and spreading your legs wide in front of him. Lending him a nod, you watch the way he just freezes after the fact.
All you can do is laugh at this moment with the way he loses any ability to remember how sex works.
Then again, you wonder if he ever even watched porn, considering how he’s acting and couldn’t manage to find the clit.
“Do you want me to be on top?” You question, blinking up at him and his blank expression.
He shakes his head at you, still frozen in his spot before his eyes slowly make their way down to the glistening sheen against your pussy.
“Don’t we like, need a condom or something? I can’t promise I’ll be able to pull out.” He asks, finally glancing away. “I don’t know if I can last as long as you want me to….”
And with that, all you do is lunge forward, grab your boyfriend by the cock, and pull him to you.
He laughs, you laugh, and then it’s silent when he leans over you, feeling his length lay against your core, already feeling spent but so, so ready to give himself to you.
“I’m on birth control. You don’t need to pull out.” You smile evilly, wiggling your hips and watching the way he closes his eyes tightly as if to regain his composure of those words.
“I’m seriously in love with you.” He mutters, pushing his hips forward and letting his length slide through the mess he made of you.
You smile, feeling that by this point, your face may actually be stuck like this permanently, and lift your head to kiss against his lips once more.
“You’re ready?” You ask quietly, against his lips. “I can help you adjust to where it needs to be. After that, I want you to do what feels best for you, okay?”
He nods timidly, taking in a deep and nervous breath before feeling your hand guide his length to the opening.
“Go on, slide in it.” You encourage him.
And he does.
Slowly at first, gently, until he feels your wet hot walls envelop the head of his cock in full, clenching, pulling him in.
His arms shake from either side of your head as he balances himself there, and it doesn’t take long for him to drop his head against your shoulder in deeper breaths than he was taking before.
The sensation is so much, it’s no wonder people like to have sex. It’s so good, you feel so, so good around him. He can’t help it when he slides in deeper, not stopping until he’s releasing a wet moan against your shoulder and holding onto you as if his life depends on it.
He thought that once he got it all the way in, it would get easier. But it doesn’t. Even as the two of you are unmoving, with your hands in his hair and soothing him through it, you still clench him. Your pussy still stimulates it without either of you doing a damn thing.
You on the other hand, won’t admit to struggling through that one, long and languid thrust inside of you. It felt as if he was splitting you open despite how wet you already were, and still are. The heaviness, the consistent twitching, all of it stretches you out more than you even knew you’d need and god, it feels so good to have him just hold onto you like, to have him adjust to the feeling.
He’s no longer a virgin, and that’s not even what matters right now.
What matters is the way he continuously nuzzles his nose against you, snaking his head to your neck and moaning consistently against your ear when he manages to finally move.
He pulls out only a little bit before his hips stutter at the sensitivity, then he pushes back in.
In and out, in and out, until–
“Fuck.” He moans, lifting suddenly from your neck, sitting up, staring directly at where his cock sits inside of you, and he just… lets go.
Knuckles white against the grip of your waist, he powers through the sensitivity, he fucks through it. Fast, with no real rhythm or ability to realize just how deep he’s pushing himself into you, and then….
He’s done for.
“That’s it,” You encourage him through half moans at the feeling, your swollen clit begging for a little bit of attention too. “Shit, Chan, that’s it.” You continue, losing yourself in his reaction to you.
He only moves faster, his hips only stutter more, and thank fuck he already came once because he wouldn’t have made it a solid inch into you before coming undone if he hadn’t. Now though? He’s pleasantly surprised to be lasting even this long.
Until he’s not, of course.
And there, between your legs, he presses in as far as he can reach and loses his breath.
Eyes rolling back, eyebrows furrowing, mouth agape, a deep moan rumbles from his chest as his shiver flows through his body at the first release inside of you.
You immediately shoot your hands to your clit, feeling it pump inside of you much like it did in your mouth. Already so much, you feel entirely full, and entirely ready if he can manage to keep coming for as long as he did before.
You fingers assault the swollen nub so fast, working yourself up much like you would during a quick session of masturbation, not wanting him to miss out on what it feels like to have a girl come on him–
It hits you faster than you can realize.
Even when he buckles and falls back to your chest out of breath, you can’t even tell him that it’s happening.
Thankfully, he doesn’t move just yet. Well, until he feels your pussy clench him tigher than before. In a rhythmic way, almost.
Only barely can he lift his head to watch you, and that’s when he notes that you’re holding your breath.
You pussy is pulsing, and then–
“Are you?” He questions, experimenting with the idea of trying to thrust into you as he asks.
There’s the breath you’d been holding.
“Yes!” You call out, both to answer his question and to appreciate that little thrust he gave you.
Even if his cock is slowly becoming flaccid, you’re still full, and he can still feel the orgasm wash over you.
He’s silent through it, wincing at his hyper-sensitive cock and very nearly cursing it out for not having waited just a minute longer to release– then, you’re hugging him.
Tightly. So tightly, you’re holding onto him and breathing into his hair. He can barely breathe himself with this hold you have on him. Still, he doesn’t fight it, he simply lets you.
Letting you cling, letting the last jolting pulses of your core push the rest of him out of you. There, he manages to lift from your weakening grasp and throw himself beside you.
Out of breath, sweating, a total mess, he looks at you like he truly will never be able to love another person the way he does right now.
And it falls silent for a long while before you roll over, throwing both an arm and leg over him.
“Man,” You sigh out. “How does it feel?” You ask this time, opening your eyes to playfully look at him.
“Huh? What?” He asks, quirking a brow.
“You know, now that you’re not a virgin anymore. How does it feel?”
He thinks hard for like two seconds before taking in a deep breath and smothering himself against the top of your head.
“Like I’m in love with you, maybe.”
And you know, given that this relationship is barely even considered one in the eyes of most people. You don’t think you care.
“Because I made you feel good, or because you want to let me make you feel good for like…” You pause, lifting your head to look him in the eye. “the rest of your life?”
He doesn’t even have to think twice.
“The second reason.”
“You’re such a simp, Chan, really.” You joke, skewing your head fondly to look at him. “But I think it’s worth a shot.”
~
1K notes
·
View notes
Text
The List ~Pt. 1 - Creation~
Alastor (Hazbin Hotel) x Reader
This is my first-time writing fanfic but I literally cannot get the stories out of my brain so…why not make everyone else suffer. This is part one of a story I’ve been rolling around some time. I feel setting a good foundation for the reader/main character is super important, so I PROMISE this story gets better. Be prepared for the usual angst, mystery (Alastor), sassiness (Lucifer), fluff, eventual smut (yes horny readers bear with me we need some plot), and of course 18+ because….it’s Hazbin what do you expect?
Summary: f!reader finds themselves in Hell. Unable to accept your horrible fate you make it a point to continue being a bright soul surrounded by the darkness of Hell. With some higher advice, you create a list of rules to live. A short list to keep out danger and continue helping the lower sinners of Pentagram City. It’s the ONLY way you can survive (right?). Your list begins to crumble when you start helping Lucifer’s daughter with some hotel and a dream to redeem the same sinners you want to protect.
**sentences in italics are internal thoughts of the reader
1.5k Words
Part 1 (You're on it!) Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
Part 6 Part 7 Part 7.A Part 8 Part 9 Part 10 Part 11
Part 12
Rumor was all sinners would spawn in hell with attributes related to their life and (untimely) death. Your gift power was proof of that.
“Everyone get inside! Come on before the exorcists see you.” You hurry the last of the smaller sinners inside a building. It kills you to see such fear from the souls. “Lock the door. I'll lure them away.”
How foolish you were. Somehow a heart of gold followed you to these depths after death...ironic how even the nicest people end up in hell. God really does have his favorites I suppose.
But that foolishness led you to the best thing to happen to you, so you thought. Dodging through the streets, maneuvering, anything to lead the "angels" away from even the worst of sinners. Cursing praying for their safety. It was only your second extermination, but you already caught onto their game. It was all too easy to get around their sloppiness. Needing a breather, you weave around some cars and dive behind a dumpster. Idiots can't even keep track of my thickass? Pathetic!
A few moments pass as it grows quiet. Your breath begins to steady when the softest whimper catches your attention. As quietly (and non-threatening) as possible, you turn the corner to approach a crying dark mass curled on the ground. Seeing their blood pooling sends your stomach into flips. Not another one. Fearing the worst you gently reach out. “Hey hey...shhh..." you utter, feeling her wince ever so slightly. "No don't panic I'm here to help. Where are you hurt?"
The young girl slowly uncrumples herself to show her wound...a massive "X" sliced hips to neck. It was so deep you couldn't believe she was still breathing let alone even moving. Fuck she's lost too much blood. "Come here let me try to stop the bleeding" you lied. You knew she had no chance. But your chest hurt at the thought of her dying (again) alone in some shit alley. With the last of her strength she curled into you, her white hair tickling your face. She had her textured locks pulled back tightly and black horns accenting the top of her head. Her tired red eyes relaxed, slowly closing as she leaned into you. Such a beautiful girl falling to such a terrible fate. With one hand on part of her wound, you used your other to softly stroke her head. “I'm so sorry young one...just breathe in and know you're not alone.” As her breathing shallows you gently kiss her forehead, bidding her soul a gentle goodbye.
The second your lips touch her skin, pure fire floods through your veins. Every nerve in your body feeling ripped apart. You spasm from the pain, clenching onto the girls now limp body. Just when the pain starts misting your vision you see flashes of...pink? "What the fuck!!" You grit through your teeth. What felt like hours of pain was merely a few seconds and it quickly dissipated from your body as did the pink light. Shit shit shit, there’s no way the exorcist didn’t hear OR SEE that! You stay perfectly still...listening to the silence with your mind reeling over what just happened.
A gasp breaks the deafening silence, pulling you back to reality. The young girl jolted out of your arms, gasping in as much air as she could. Looking down you notice her wounds were gone, only dry blood and tattered cloth remained from the laceration. You look at each other in panic and shock.
After inspecting her stomach she snaps out of her daze, remembering you two were still not safe.
"It's too dangerous to stay out here. Come with me - we aren’t far from the safehouse. I am sure my mother will want to meet you."
You follow without hesitation. Trust has always been a weakness. As you make your way through the city, she explains how she was out collecting angelic weapons with her sister when they got separated. After getting cornered she just accepted her fate...then you found her. "The name is Clara by the way. Clara Carmine. I usually just go by CC though."
You never intended to get into the Overlord game. You were merely trying to make the best, quiet life in hell if that was even possible. Guess things change when you save the daughter of Hells most prestigious Overlord. Who could say no to being taken in and protected by THE Carmilla Carmine.
Carmilla immediately began preparing you after hearing of the power you possessed. The power to heal with touch...of course it’s not that easy…it required pure intensions, coming from a place of love. Who the hell (pun intended) wrote this cruel joke for a sinner? How did the lowest of low get given such power just a few short years after arriving? It was your most precious secret. It had to be. If anyone of ill will found out - and come on, it's Hell - your soul would have been the most sought after in the pride ring. You wouldn’t last a day. Carmilla was indebted to you for saving Clara, so she made a deal to give you protection and mentorship as repayment. The first of many deals you’d make in Hell, growing the power you held.
In the years you've been under Carmilla's watch, you created a short list of rules to keep yourself out of harm’s way -
1. Never trust another Overlord
2. Never tell a soul what (or how much) power you have
3. Never bring anyone too close
4. Never let your weaknesses show
It was a simple enough list that had worked for you so far.
You chose to make deals with those who needed protection or help while navigating the dangerous afterlife. In your deals each soul was bound to secrecy as to who you were and what you provided. Contract details and fine print were your specialty. Your soul count was the highest Carmilla had ever seen for someone so new, so merciful. She would often mention only one other sinner ever rose the ranks as quick though his methods were…less than savory. She never bothered to say who. Every Overlord meeting the rumors spread of some "Saving Grace" sinner making their way into powerful ranks. A shadow giving vile hope. But just as quick as those rumors appeared - they were put to rest when no new faces ever appeared. Of course you were there - you needed to attend for information just as much as the next guy, but you never sat as an Overlord. Carmilla granted you a place off to the side as "the help" to serve tea or make notes as needed. No one ever batted an eye to someone considered just a worker bee in Carmilla's hive.
Every meeting was the same, though it seemed unease was rising after each extermination. Six years had passed since you fell into this hellhole (har har). Another extermination, another meeting. Sitting in your designated corner, you twirl your pen as the Overlords began taking their seats. Might as well be invisible - but you preferred it that way. As your mind slightly wonders to less important things, the quiet buzz of conversations around you fades away from your ears.
"—yes I know I’ve been absent some time. I'm sure you've ALL been wondering!"
Your attention snaps back with the sound of this charming new voice. The demon was dressed to the nines - red suit jacket, gloves, freshly pressed slacks. Your already preoccupied mind raced. Who the hell is that? Where has he been? Why does he have that shit eating grin?
He must hold some power to be sitting here after all these years…
"Not really. But welcome back in any case."
That dismissal from Camilla was enough for you to put aside any questions you had of the demon. You knew this meeting would be tense. Can't afford distractions when you needed to be all ears. As you began writing you felt something in the pit of your stomach. Was someone staring at you? You try to shake the feeling when Velvette made her grand entrance. With a sigh and eye roll you set aside your notebook. God damn this woman, no respect, no couth. Gonna be a long one today.
The sinking feeling returns, this time you catch the culprit. The (new to you) demon Overlord is staring at you as if you’re the only one in the room. You make eye contact hoping he moves his gaze, but it only fuels the intensity on you. That smile never faltering. Your ears ring and static pricks your ear drums. Can I fuckin help you sir? Wait no, you're just the help. Lower sinners would never even dream of speaking to an Overlord like such. Thankfully the eye contact breaks when Velvette tosses the head of an exorcist on the table.
Ah I suppose this will be quite a fascinating meeting…
#hazbin hotel#hazbin hotel alastor#alastor x reader#hazbin hotel x reader#fanfic#hazbin hotel fandom#hotel hazbin#hazbin alastor#hazbin fandom#hazbinhotel#alastor the radio demon#alastor hazbin hotel#x reader#reader insert#fem reader#slow burn#hazbin hotel lucifer#carmilla carmine#hazbin hotel carmilla
260 notes
·
View notes
Note
part three of dad!daemon headcanon pleaseeee🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽🙏🏽
𝐇𝐀𝐕𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐋𝐃𝐑𝐄𝐍 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐃𝐀𝐄𝐌𝐎𝐍 𝐖𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐃 𝐈𝐍𝐂𝐋𝐔𝐃𝐄, 𝐏𝐓𝟑:
pairing: dad!daemon targaryen x mom!reader
author's note: last episode, aemond beat the shit out of baela and rhaena, and daemon didn't gave a single shit about his daughters being blooded and bruised. i thought i should rewrite that, specially because the day aemond lost his eye is a thing in our dad!daemon au. also, i'll make aemond a little bit ooc because he needs to be an asshole, AND, I changed the way aemond loses his eye.
reblogs, feedbacks and likes are appreciated. i hope you like it!
warnings: mentions of animal cruelty, descriptions of children getting harmed, aemond is his own warning, children cussing, this headcanon is pure chaos so be prepared.
· ┈┈┈┈┈┈ · ୨♡୧ · ┈┈┈┈┈┈ ·
this takes places months before part 1.
Daemon hated Aemond.
At first you thought it was funny that a grown ass man had such hatred towards a little boy, but then, you saw it with your own eyes.
You and Daemon once watched the kids' dragon training lessons, and you noticed how Aemond's eyes squinted once your son commanded Araxes to dracarys.
So it started there. Your son had his own dragon — and so did your daughter — , and prince Aemond had none.
Daemon would always complain to you how Aemond was picking on Rhaegon during sword fighting training.
"He should be more violent, I don't want Rhaegon to let that prick hurt him."
"Now, you're the one who's picking battles with Alicent." You warned.
Aemond never liked the fact that Alyssa could watch their fighting training. She was a girl, and wasn't supposed to be there.
He couldn't hurt Rhaegon outside the training camp, so he discovered that it was easier to mess with the Targaryen girl.
When Alyssa found her pet cat beheaded under her covers on her blood stained bed, she left her shared room crying, not even answering to Helaena's questions.
She went to the boys’ chambers, where she found her brothers, and Jacaerys and Lucerys sleeping.
Alyssa woke them up and went downstairs to find their parents, hoping they could do something to punish Aemond for his actions. But unfortunately, they found the boy first.
"Cousin Alyssa! I see you’re crying... What's wrong? Didn't like my present?"
Alyssa ran to punch him in the face, but he punched her first.
It started a huge fight, where Rhaegon, Luke, Jace and Alyssa were against Aemond.
Aemond threatened to kill Luke and Alyssa, and Jace tried to stab him with a knife.
Aemond was the most gifted in body combat, so he quickly dodged the Velaryon boy's attack, and kicked him away.
Luke threw sand in Aemond's eyes while he held Rhaegon by the neck, and Jace threw Alyssa the knife.
"Take your fucking hand out of my brother!"
Alyssa wasted no time to cut Aemond's eye.
Aemond fell to the ground screaming, but it was too late when the guards finally came to his rescue.
"What's the meaning of this!?" Daemon stormed into the throne room where everyone was reunited.
"Alyssa! Rhaegon!" You cried out, taking your beated children in your arms.
"What did you do to them, you freak!?" Daemon hissed towards the sewed-eyed boy.
"You're seeing this, Viserys!?" Alicent yelled, "Where do you think your brother's children learned to bully our son?"
"His own brother bullies him!" Rhaegon pointed out.
Aegon was just as unbearable as his brother, but at least he wasted his time drinking instead of making your children's life a living hell.
"Aemond killed Alyssa's cat and punched her in the face!" Lucerys told his uncle, and Daemon groaned in anger.
"That bitch cut my eye!" Aemond uttered.
"You were suffocating my brother!" Alyssa remarked.
"That is enough!" King Viserys yelled, "I want you all to make up and forget this all happened."
"That is insufficient. Aemond has been damaged permanently, my king." Alicent stated.
"I know, Alicent, but I cannot restore his eye. What would you have me do?"
"There is a debt to be paid. I shall have one of Daemon's daughter eyes in return. Ser Criston, bring me the eye of Alyssa Targaryen."
Your eyes opened wide in horror as your daughter ran out of your embrace to hide herself behind Daemon.
"You will do no such thing!" You warned the queen.
Ser Criston stayed in his position while Viserys warned, again, that the matter was finished.
Alicent took the dagger that the king carried around, and came towards the girl, that was still being protected by her father's body.
Daemon acted quickly and unsheathed Dark Sister, pointing the blade to the Queen. All the guards took off their swords.
"Father!" Alyssa cried out.
"Give one more step and both of us will die." Daemon warned, "I'll cut your throat open like a piece of ham, and the King shall have my head. I don't mind dying for my family, your Grace."
Alicent threw the dagger to the floor and left.
Daemon gave you an apologizing look after putting himself in such danger.
You both took care of your children’s wounds, and find out that Maegon stayed in his room after Rhaegon ordered him to.
You took the boys to their room with Rhaenyra and her kids, while Daemon took Alyssa to hers.
"You acted bravely tonight." Daemon whispered against your little girl's silver locks, and gave her forehead a kiss, "I'm proud of you, my little stormfire."
#daemon targaryen x reader#daemon targaryen imagines#daemon targaryen x oc#daemon targaryen#house of the dragon imagines#aemond targaryen x reader#house of the dragon#dad!daemon targaryen x mom!reader au#dad!daemon targaryen au
2K notes
·
View notes
Note
You reblogged that Sam gifs post and it reminded me of that headcanon i have of being Sam’s friend but you’re feisty and take no one’s shit. Like he’s always takes the high road and you’re like when they go low i go lowER. I would fight that Akufo dude for him no questions asked.
hi wifey <3 you are absolutely right!! i fucking love that idea of Sam having a bestie who'd throw hands for him.. it's on sight all the time.
special thanks to @sokkigarden for bouncing ideas off me, love you bby. okay, i wanna write about being friends w the AFC Richmond boys more, so if yall have ANY thoughts on being friends with ANY of the lads then send me requests on it so we can DISCUSS
OKAY BUT BEING BESTIES WITH SAM OBISANYA
he's such a wholesome and loyal friend... a breath of fresh air yknow?? Dani is more of that 'unconditional sunshine' energy, but Sam is positive whilst still keeping it real w you
and sooo you're hella loyal to him too. well, you're loyal to everyone you care about. you'd take a bullet for them, no questions asked, but probs a lot of cussing involved (same, but i'll come back to this)
sharing an airpod each if yall go out on a walk or join the team on a bus ride - if you're dating jamie then he NEEDS you next to him on the ride back, probs uses your shoulder to sleep on and has an arm around your waist so you can't leave, but that's a diff post ahahaha
having a shared spotify playlist that you both keep adding music too...the vibes are all over the place. "Y/N, I was trying to jam out to J.Cole, and then Adele came on??" "Oh yea, I was sad bout something earlier"
blanket forts and microwaveable caramel popcorn for when he's missing home
playing as him in FIFA when you're with the lads and yellin "YEA THATS MY BESTIE" every time you score as him
pinching his earlobes like his dad would for good luck on the days of a big match/when he's really nervous
since opening OLA'S, you join him when he attends small business owner conventions, but that's mainly to try the free food
since i'm vegetarian, telling him that his menu looks great but you can only stick to sumn like the jollof rice.. so next month when he invites you over to his restaurant for a catchup dinner there's a whole new lil section for vegetarian dishes on the menu (or whatever dietary inclusivr thingy etc.)
warning Sam about Afuko because "a man simply doesn't feed you pasta and lobster and send you a stack without something in mind" and him being like ??? what and you groan, "did you watch the tiktoks I sent you??"
hearing about how the Afuko rejection went and Sam only focusses on "he called me medium talent??" and you're SEETHING
you're like "what the living F U C K" and he's like "oh hey Y/N, don't worry, I know I am not medium talent" and you're like "what? no, shut up, obviously not, but that's not the POINT here. how did that ASSHOLE have the audacity to speak to you like that?!!"
you're searching up flights to Nigeria and opening a google map from the airport to Afuko's business residence or something, and Sam is like, "seriously, forget that guy. bullet dodged." and you're angrily muttering about how Afuko's gonna have to dodge the bazooka you're gonna smuggle onto the plane
"We cannot be best friends if you end up in jail because you tried to smuggle a bazooka onto the plane." "I just wanna talk to him...with a bazooka." "No." "Pleas-" "No."
telling Sam you might be getting feelings for Jamie and being nervous he'd be mad because of their relationship in S1, but you promise he's changed, and Sam is like, I know
wearing the Obisanya jersey and the rest of the boys are like 'hey why don't you ever support our merch' so like every match you're switching out jerseys before texting a pic to the groupchat
running into that Francis guy who's Afuko's right-hand man and "accidentally" stepping on his foot real hard like OOPS
giving him updates on your love life and vice versa. "Y/N, please tell me this one is not a loser." "Um, Sam, shut up; you know my rizz only seems to work on losers??" "hey, Jamie told me that telling a woman my favourite movie is Ratatouille is a bad idea... is it?" "just bake her a lasagna or something and say that's how you learnt to cook." "I am not doing that." "dammit, I thought we'd get lasagna for dinner"
doing random tiktok trends or challenges - the baking one where one person is blind, one is deaf, and one is mute, but they all gotta work together to bake a cake!! sam (tape around his mouth) x you (blindfolded) x jamie (loud ass headphones on)
jamie: pass the FOOKIN sugah!! *back turned to yall as he stirs the mix*
you: WHAT. WHERE. *randomly smacking shit, picking up the salt and dropping it on the counter and onto a spoon*
sam: mmmhnph! *waving his hands in your face like NO but you can't see*
you: *turning to jamie with a spoonful, which he probs tastes absentmindedly whilst stirring* OI TASTE THIS
jamie: FOOKS SAKE
#sam obisanya#besties with sam obisanya#sam obisanya x reader#ted lasso#ted lasso x reader#jamie tartt x reader#afc richmond
314 notes
·
View notes
Text
Excessive Force : Tom Ludlow x Fem Nurse Reader (COLLAB W/ THE INCREDIBLE @johnwickb1tsch) - Chapter One Two Three Four Five
TW: abuse of authority, harassment, cops
The next day, you are driving home from a long shift in the wee hours of the morning when you see the dreaded flicker of blue and red lights flashing behind you. There’s hardly anyone else out on the highway, so there’s little chance they’re not directed at you.
What the hell? You weren’t even speeding. You are exhausted. Did you drift over the line? Fuck. A ticket is the last thing you need right now. You make your way over to the side of the road, hoping you don’t get a flat from all the extraneous bullshit that peppers the asphalt. There really is no one around, and a little thrill of fear tightens your chest. Being a woman alone late at night in this situation isn’t exactly what you would call ideal.
You know you don’t exactly look threatening, but you’re still careful to place your hands in full view on the top of the wheel. You glance in your side mirror at the black Dodge Charger parked behind you, momentarily blinded by those stupid flashing lights. However, when you set eyes on the figure who emerges from the driver’s seat, your heart plummets to your stomach.
That motherfucker.
He approaches your open window with all the swagger of a rooster, long legs and broad shoulders. Doesn’t look much like that burn is bothering him now. You know part of the bulk of his chest is a vest (and you’re glad he’s wearing it, considering his habits) but it still manages to fry the aesthetic center of your brain as you watch him.
He bends down slightly to peer in your window, blinding you with his flashlight. So unnecessary.
“Really?” you grouse, squinting at the bright light.
Ignoring your complaint, he offers that shit-eating smirk. “Know why I pulled you over?”
He leans on your window, and you know you stare at that large hand distractingly close to your shoulder for a beat too long, utterly betraying your thoughts to him. “No idea,” you sigh, tired, and pissed off, and you hate to admit it-entirely too titillated by his newest form of harassment.
Again, it occurs to you how very alone you are out here, at this time of the night. Even if there was another car driving by…there’s no way they’re stopping to help you.
“For driving while adorable.”
Of all the things he could have said in that moment-and you cannot help but remember the way he trussed you like a christmas turkey and said such filthy things in your ear that one time you treated him-it’s so cheesy it almost makes you smile.
“Are you kidding me?”
“And you were going 7 miles over the speed limit.”
This was LA. You took your life in your hands for not speeding at least fifteen over most of the time.
“You’re writing me a ticket for going seven over?”
He doesn’t actually have the ticket book in his hand, and he looks around the deserted highway as though thinking about it.
“Well. I don’t have to…”
Here it comes.
“I’m not going on a date with you to get out of this. Write it up. Fuck it. I don’t care.”
He pays you a little frown, because he’s trying to be cute, but you’re just not playing his game. You imagine a man like this isn’t used to women not playing any games he asks them to. He has no idea how stubborn you can be.
When he honest-to-god makes a pouty face, pushing out that beautifully full lower lip it’s all you can do not to reach out of the car and slap him-or maybe punch him in the dick-because it’s charming, and it melts your heart a little, and you so do not need this. You’ve been dreaming about him nearly every goddamn night since you first treated him and this is only going to throw gasoline on the fire-fuck!
“Did you forget that I have a boyfriend?” you remind him, for yourself as much as him. Maybe it’s not wise, to poke the bear while he’s actually almost being sweet-but you are mad.
His eyes narrow at you, and why do you get such a thrill from that?
“Do you? Because the two of you seemed a little…awkward, together. Not sure I buy it.”
“Things are just new,” you defend. “What, do you want to hear about how he rubs my feet on my break?”
The glint in Officer Ludlow’s eyes is like a bared blade. “Just your feet? Honey, if you were my girl I’d rub you all over. For your health.”
Fuck if that doesn’t send a spear of heat straight to your center, your heart thumping painfully in your chest. You hope he doesn’t notice you shifting in your seat, trying to relieve some of the absolutely diabolical ache between your thighs.
“Well…the break room has its limits.”
“Wouldn’t stop me.” The images that is going to give you when you lay down to sleep.
“I’m sure it wouldn’t. But Julian is actually a gentleman.”
“Yeah? Pretty sure that’s code for boring as fuck.”
“He’s not boring. He’s sweet. He’s taking me to coffee on Saturday morning, and you know what? I’m not going to think about you at all.”
A greater lie was never told.
It almost feels like you finally scored a hit. His expression turns stony, unreadable, and you know it’s crazy but you almost feel bad about it. At last he straightens from practically leaning into your window, hooking his thumb in his belt. “Alright, sassy girl,” he says, patting the top of your car. “I’ll let you off with a warning this time.” With a final dark look he swaggers back to his Charger.
It’s possible you watch him go in your side mirror-it’s really not fair, that God gave a man that annoying such a biteable little muffin of an ass.
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
BRAD FUCKIN WAYNEEE
headcannons i have abt this sweet himbo fratboy
This man is the largest in the family, like 6’6 and built like a non-green hulk. He can easily pick up and fireman carry Bruce and Jason
Is the guy in a frat party to sit with girls and hear about them bitch about periods and now carries a little pack with him everywhere that has a few tampons, pads, hand-warmers (for on the go heating pads), and Tylenol and Advil
Where does he keep this stuff and the random assortment of weird things he has, you ask? He wears a fanny-pack
read it and weep y’all he wears fanny-packs, usually the cool way over his shoulder, but mostly around his waist since he carries a backpack almost 25/8
He drives a beater truck (just an old car whose been through like three accidents and is still going strong) specifically a 1991 dodge D250 truck with a scratched up white paint job where there are dents, scratches, and a few patches of off white paint on dents that was sorta DIY-ed
his keys 🔑 have a weird ass mesh of keychains on it like: Ally flag keychain and a flag keychain for every single label a person has come out to him with, also a keychain from every museum, tourist spot he’s ever been, also a beer and bottle opener he’s a frat boy duhhh, he has a little bracelet that is made of sparkles and purple beads that steph gave to him but it was too small so he put it on his keys, a collage logo keychain, a keychain from his local gym and one with rugby on it etc
the keychains and keys are never ending
HE PLAYS RUGBY, argue with the wall.
getting a bachelors and masters in sports medicine
he makes sure to give Duke, Damian, Cass, Steph, and Tim copies of his keys first (the rest of the fam too they just get priority)
A) because they are the kids, and he wants them to know that he has an open bed any time
B) cause he’s the sibling to not get mad if they are intoxicated in any form and will cover for them
This next one is so important to me
He takes Tim to his first midnight showing of the Rocky Horror Picture Show, same with Damian
He pretty much eats at the Wayne mansion every night but sleeps at his apartment
Shows Damian some good rock’n roll ex Red Hot Chili Peppers, Sublime, Ramones, The Clash, Oingo Boingo, Ghost, Blonde, Foo-Fighters (i can make a playlist if wanted)
Just will sit and have a beer with Jason and sit in silence or talk about weird things that happened today
Steph and him have study sessions together
He will watch any ballet practice Cass wants him to see and he never misses a competition or performance
he sends Tim stupid skateboard tricks and fails videos (tiktok or insta reels) daily and then once a month they take Brad’s truck to a park and Brad sits on a ramp and cheers Tim on like its the Super Bowl
Watches Dick’s dog when he’s away from home and they both watch Barbie movies together
He gardens at Alfred’s request, yes he sucks but this man cannot not say no to the tidbits of Alfred’s life story he learns
Can kick back like 4 kegs of beer with no fucking consequences, he has a liver of steel thanks to Brucie Wayne
He’a the high guy in the bathtub at frat-parties and will give shitty or good life advice its 50/50 honestly
Does stupid white people fraternity things that would kill a normal person but he just is quirkily busting it down and Death just cannot vibe with him
makes (and i cannot stress this enough) the best and i mean best, (Alfred and Ma Kent can’t win in this one) brownies. Whether they are edibles or not they are the best.
has done the Tide-Pod challenge and survived
He is the Frat God of Gotham
Him and Duke are like the best duo
They blast Rock and Rap so that all five cars in every direction can hear it
Duke has the habit of putting weird ass bumper stickers on Brad’s desk and bed frame (at his apartment, they Do Not fuck with Alfred) Brad smiles fondly every time he finds a new one
Brad = Mark, ya know the tiktok sound
Him and Harper simp over women 🙏 together
In his fanny-pack, truck, and various rooms he has stim toys/do-hickeys bins or sections
bc he has Nerodivergent siblings and he was just trying
he asked kinda rude blunt questions, he didn’t know anything and he kinda (really) sucks at subtlety and reading a room but he was just trying to understand
He will take Damian to amusement parks and zoos pretty much bi-weekly
The girls can put on a horrible outfit and makeup and he will think he looks fabulous and no one will ever tell him that he’s sporting fashion and makeup crimes
has a small hidden bookcase of Wings of Fire, Warrior cats, Land of Stories, etc.. cause Damian is embarrassed to admit he actually likes reading them
Watches the trashiest brain rotting tv shows like Dance moms or keeping up with the Kardashians
Goes to any march or parade his siblings or friends are going to so: A) he can be that decked out ally tank of a man passing out water bottles and granola bars B) so if the police are back on their BS he can protecc atacc and throw that tear gas bacc
*Sniff 🤧* I have something I need all of you to know, I say this with a heavy heart *holding back tears 😥* Brad is a former highlighter kid— *single tear falls*
This fucking himbo stud-muffin has slept with, kissed, crushed on, and went on dates with men, but still doesn’t realize that he’s Bisexual
his favorite flavor ice cream is pistachio and carmel
KNOWS NOTHING and i mean nothing about zodiac signs
Has been caught in the middle of Gotham Rouge and does not understand what the fuck is happening
He either Teddy Bear fratboy golden retriever energies them to friendship or friendly acquaintance or annoys them to the high hells of mosquito bites on your butt
^I can expand if wanted
His phone you ask?
Screen cracked like rice crispys
apps more disorganized than the random shit drawer in someone’s house
he has a model 6S and will not upgrade or replace it to save his life.
he has an otterbox case and we all know it, no more denial
Okay thats my time yall see ya
#brad wayne#batfam#batfam hcs#batfamily#dick grayson#jason todd#damian wayne#stephanie brown#cassandra wayne#cass cain#duke thomas#alfred pennyworth#bruce wayne#brucie wayne#brads contact for Bruce is infact Brooshy dad#He infact has paw patrol bandaids#If damian gets a scrape with brad paw patrol bandaids only
425 notes
·
View notes
Text
some itachi + romance meta for reborn au ->
so, my personal headcanon for itachi is that he has a lot of little idle romantic fantasies about a nondescript fantasy partner, but it takes a pretty big push for him to go "oh, i love this person." he's open to sex if his partner wants it, but he doesn't really care about it otherwise. in other words, he'd be into a romantic partner if he happened upon one (and, like, he didn't have four thousand other high-priority problems the relationship would be incompatible with), but he's not actively looking and he doesn't really need one to be happy.
in an AU where the massacre didn't happen, I think he'd be open to dating. but in mutagenicity, he DID live through the massacre and being in akatsuki, and he IS mentally 20+ years older than he looks, and oh my god, please don't make him talk to children. especially uchiha children he killed in previous life. please.
i don't think all ninja clans necessarily cling to old fashioned traditions about marriage and bloodlines, but i like the idea of some of them hanging around for Shenanigans. like no one would really care if itachi were gay, as long as he quietly kept his boyfriend as a boyfriend and married someone capable of childbirth and made that new heir. they don't even care if the heir is female! progress :)
but also itachi has a mysterious genetic disease so they're like. hmm yeah okay you may marry outside of the clan. (desperately start researching if there's some sort of Test for sharigan babies)
mikoto has of course Noticed itachi just like.... isn't interested? in even talking to other teens?? so she wants to get him started kind of early. listen itachi, marriage will be SO much easier if you've dated your bride and figured out someone you actually like. also if you don't find one i will simply find one for you at some certain age and you will have no say in the matter.
the first few times she sends him on dates she just socially manipulates a situation where somehow he ends up alone with a girl mikoto likes. the girl is almost always very accomplished for her age, polite, pretty. literally nothing is wrong with her except she's 16 and itachi hates strangers. like, he's fine with them. he can put on a smile and be polite for a limited amount of time. but Inner Itachi is so fucking mean and fucked up, getting socially close to people almost always makes them hate him (for valid reasons) and then also his date is 16. so mikoto keeps putting him in a position where he's inevitably going to make a poor teenaged girl cry because he told her she'll never get promoted to jounin because her mission completion rate is mediocre, which he does often feel bad about, but also he cannot do anything about his horrible personality and cannot help himself. and then even if he likes her, what is he supposed to do? be like "yeah i'm just going to tell you my opinion and it will come out blunt and mean and also i'll be right and refuse to apologize, it's because of my deeply fucked up past life where the state told me i had to pick between murdering my entire family or letting my family destroy everything i care about, sorry about that." no! obviously he can't do that!!!
and his feelings about mikoto in general just, like, insane. she had her hand in supporting the coup in his previous life, but she raised him and loved him, but also she let him kill her so he'd see it in his nightmares constantly, and this mikoto didn't do any of that but he still sees her in his dreams and she is EQUALLY socially manipulative in this timeline, and honestly this is sort of making his feelings about her even more insane, but obviously he can't talk to her about it. so he needs to figure out way to dodge this whole dating situation in order to avoid uchiha massacre #2
so one day he's stealing dango right off tori's plate while she's in the bathroom, and he's like. holy fuck. tori is a girl, and she's not even going to get upset i'm about to do this to her. and then she comes back and is like "why the fuck did you steal my food" and he tells her it's because she did a disproportionately low amount of substandard work on the mission and hence deserves less of the mission budget. and she DOES rub the inside of his sleeping bag down with poison ivy but she also doesn't fucking cry.
itachi, flipping his sleeping bag inside out: perfect. we're dating now. <3
tori is NOT mikoto's top pick because she's a wild card and not the easily controlled nice girl mikoto was aiming for, but. at least itachi seems to actually like her? and she hasn't come crying to mikoto about how her son horrible yet, so. she's even got a decent amount of social clout for (checks note) a defector from another village who seems to go out of her way to be annoying and unlikable. mikoto isn't really thrilled but she backs off
dating is basically nothing like itachi's idle fantasies because tori is also deeply messed up, and also itachi spent a VERY long time in the other timeline convinced she was going to blab his secrets and Ruin Everything and he really wanted to kill her, but also that DID translate into a weird sort of respect pretty early on in this timeline, and they can have actual conversations about stuff. she helped him kill danzo, no questions asked. they like watching bad movies and dragging them to pieces together. she willingly reads his favorite book. they say mean shit to each other and it's fine because they've mutually accepted the other is just like this. it's comfortable. also pointing tori'a ability to ruin everything for everyone is so nice when pointed at someone itachi doesn't like
so even once itachi is old enough he can date Actual Adults, tori is like, "hey are you going to break up with me?" and he's like, "........no?" and she's like "okay." and they move in together and have separate bedrooms and tori attempts to kill him at least twice over burning food so bad it won't come off the pot, but it's comfortable and they're both happy
(and also itachi realizes tori fucking loves going along with bits, so if he tells her he wants to do some stupid romantic thing, she will just go along with it and have fun. wild)
i think they get married kind of late For The Setting (like very late twenties) because it takes tori years to figure out their illegal test tube baby and they just don't really see the point without the baby. mikoto finds this immensely frustrating. but at least they're on the same page, even if it's the WRONG PAGE
112 notes
·
View notes
Text
"Matthew Boyd, I swear, if you utter one more pun--"
"You'll punt me off the roof?" Matt asked, grinning far too wide even as he lifted his strawberry shake and took a long drink through the straw. They were at the cafeteria closest to Fox Tower, grabbing lunch before they would head to the library to get some homework done before practice this afternoon.
"Yes! Wait." Dan blinked then groaned. "UGH! You are awful. Terrible. Not funny and not at all cute."
"Aww, babe you think I'm adorable."
Dan snorted. "I most certainly do not." Actually, she most certainly did - but she wasn't going to admit that now, not while Matt was being ridiculous with his puns. Someone thought it would be a GREAT idea to leave a daily pun calendar on his desk and he'd been fucking insufferable all week. Dan was tempted to blame Aaron first - because as Matt's roommate he had the best access - but something told her that Aaron wouldn't set himself up for that kind of torment.
Matt gave a forlorn sigh. "It's alright, you may shun me now but I've made it through addiction - I can make it through this."
Dan rolled her eyes. "Your struggles with addiction cannot be compared to my lack of appreciation for stupid puns."
"Maybe you're right," Matt said with a sigh, but he was smiling too much for Dan to feel anything other than suspicion. "My viagra addiction really was the hardest time in my life."
"..."
Dan stared. Matt grinned, laughing as he hurriedly dodged the chicken nugget she hurled at him across the table.
Unfortunately, the nugget continued flying and smacked right into the back of a very blond head the next table over in the cafeteria. Dan's eyes widened as Andrew turned around and locked eyes with her.
"Oh shit!" she hissed, ducking down.
Matt turned around and then quickly whipped back to face her when he saw who was behind them. "Dan!" he squeaked in alarm. "You're gonna get us killed!"
"Bold of you to assume I would interrupt my lunch for murder, Boyd," Andrew said, suddenly right by their table. Next to him, Neil was munching on a chicken nugget.
Matt jumped so suddenly that his knees hit the bottom of the table and he hurriedly had to steady his drink before it toppled over. "Fuck!! How do you guys do that?!"
"Do what?" asked Neil, sipping a shake that he definitely hadn't been holding five seconds ago. Neil made a face then passed it to Andrew, who accepted it and slurped loudly without looking away from Matt.
Frowning, Matt looked from the two diminutive menaces to the shake down to the table in front of him - where his own strawberry milkshake was missing. "Hey!" He whipped his head back up and reached out to take the shake back but Andrew was just out of reach.
One fine pale eyebrow rose in skeptical appraisal, Andrew apparently utterly unimpressed as he took another long suck through the straw.
Dan watched all this with wide eyes, but when Matt turned pleading puppy-dog eyes to her she snapped her mouth shut and smothered a grin with the back of her hand. Clearing her throat, she looked from Matt over to Neil and Andrew, ignoring how Neil had yet another chicken nugget that she knew he must've stolen from her even though she hadn't caught the actual theft. Instead, she focused on his slightly shorter counterpart. "Sorry about the nugget-assault, Andrew. Matt was just driving me up the wall with his puns."
"Puns?" Neil asked, now holding a little boat of fries - though Dan had no idea where those would have come from, as neither her nor Matt had grabbed any before they sat down.
"Yeah, someone left a daily pun calendar in Matt and Aaron's room, and Matt has been torturing me all day." She wrinkled her nose. "I thought it was Aaron at first, but..."
Andrew snorted. "Aaron hates puns."
Neil nodded his agreement. "He thinks they're "auditory poison"," he added, the hand not holding his boat of fries lifting to form air quotes.
Matt scoffed. "What?! No! Puns are great!" He paused, appearing to think for a moment. "Well, except for math puns." He made a face and reached across the table to snag one of Dan's chicken nuggets - but there was no way Dan was letting him take a single morsel of deliciousness while he was still standing firm on his pro-pun stance.
She slapped his hand out of the way and ignored the pout he turned on her at the denial. Instead, she looked back at Andrew and Neil. Andrew was still sipping on Matt's shake, and Neil... had a plate of stir-fry he was deftly picking at with a pair of chopsticks.
Dan just stared at them for a moment before she shook her head and just rolled with it, one sorta had to do that with Neil and Andrew sometimes. "Anyway," she said, then cleared her throat before saying, "that's why the chicken nuggets became projectiles." There was a four-heartbeat awkward silence, in which Andrew slurped up the last of the shake and deposited the empty cup on Matt's tray.
Then, without offering anything at all by way of an acknowledgement or farewell, Andrew turned and started walking toward the cafeteria exit.
Dan blinked, watching him go. When she looked at Neil, the stir-fry was gone and his hands were tucked into his own back pockets as he rocked back on his heels, watching Andrew walk away with a disgustingly fond look on his face. Before Dan could even think to comment, Neil caught her eye and flashed a small smirk. "Don't worry, he forgives you." Then he, too, started to walk away.
Except, when he got about five paces away he called over his shoulder, "And not all math puns are bad. Sum of them are pretty good."
It took a moment for that to sink in, then she sank down into her chair with a groan, burying her face in her hands as she tuned out Matt's triumphant "HA!".
This fucking team would be the death of her.
215 notes
·
View notes
Text
cw: minors dni. violence. cheating reader, complicated relationship dynamics, a part 4 to nova’s ( @raichijingos ) fic calling twice. read the preceding part here.
For the first time in your life, you regret not bringing along your hero costume. No gauntlets, no hammers, not even brass knuckles (yes, you considered these too) are at your disposal in this moment, and the anger you feel in all parts of your body extending even to your very fingertips feels as though it will never dissipate no matter how hard you hit her. The ringing in your ears is so loud that it drowns out the cacophony around you, between Izuku and Katsuki still yelling at each other and office members ducking for cover as a desk flies across the room at breakneck speed, yet somehow you can still hone in on your treacherous friend’s voice.
She looks in a daze still as she thinks about the ring that will never be hers and how her life decisions have culminated to this very moment but she’s startled out of silence once your vengeance-filled eyes bore holes through her skin.
“I- I can explain,” she starts, but it doesn’t take long for your palm to go straight across her face, heavier than you’ve ever slapped anyone in your life, and if it weren’t for the fact that you were so damn mad at her, you’d have asked her why she didn’t dodge.
She gasps, the five finger handprint blatantly visible, and her own hand covers it as she stares at you in shock.
“___, I-”
You slap her again before she can say another word and she doesn’t gasp this time, instead staring at you harshly with red, angry tears in her eyes. And still, she doesn’t say a single word, because there isn’t anything she really can say. It’s obvious what has happened, it’s obvious how she’s betrayed you after all this time.
“How long?” you ask, really yell. She looks away, and you grab her by the hair, pulling her face back to face you.
“How fucking long?!” you repeat. Her cheek is starting to swell and she cries, not out of pain, but from a deep sense of shame that came far too late.
“I… can’t remember.”
“You can’t fucking remember when you started fucking my fiance?” you yelled. The urge to spit in her face is strong enough to make you shake but the way your friend trembles in front of you in remorse, feigned or otherwise, is enough to make you unclench the fist you have raised with your other hand.
You don’t have enough time to reconsider punching her when you hear a deafening crash. The two of you, wide-eyed, turn to the source of the noise, and find that where both of your partners had just been exchanging blows was now replaced by a large gaping hole in the side of the building.
“Holy shit-”
Both of you amble to the new makeshift floor to ceiling window in the side of the building, the edges singed with smoke likely from one of Katsuki’s blasts. In seconds, between Blackwhip and repeated blasts from Katsuki’s quirk, the two men are off still tussling in the distance.
“You have to be fucking kidding me,” you start, and the overhead sprinklers and a fire alarm seem to go off at once, drenching everyone in water. While the rest of the onlookers finally disperse, the both of you stand, not bothering to evacuate, watching out onto the city.
There’s a pause that is far too extended. Your best friend almost looks like she’s no longer breathing. You turn to each other at the same time.
You still want to kill her, but the fire in your belly is partially extinguished, perhaps due to the extreme behavior you see amongst the men you both love. Whatever their fight is right now cannot solely be because of you two, but something unspoken between them. Boundaries tested and crossed and issues of personal pride.
Her voice is soft as she dares to ask,
“... Did you really…” she pauses, the words struggling to come out of her mouth. She really should keep her mouth shut, she thinks, but it’s unbearable for her to think. “Did you guys really.. Together?”
You glare at her.
“Are you really asking?”
She swallows hard. From beside her, you can see her fingers straighten and tighten back into a fist. You should be satisfied with the hurt look on her face, happy even, but the victory seems somewhat hollow.
“We’re still not even,” you say nevertheless. Her body tenses, then relaxes with a heavy sigh. The swelling has yet to go down but it will one day. Your anger is ever-present.
“I hope he kills him,” she says, finally. She isn’t looking at you, nor you at her.
“Same.”
Neither of you clarify what you mean. Which ‘he’ matters to which one of you at this moment.
There’s yet another pause. You can feel the kettle of her blood boiling; she was always so easy to predict. It isn’t over. No matter how many times or what she did with Katsuki, she still couldn’t fathom the very idea of you ever hurting her back the way you did.
“Was it before or after you found out?” she asks, her voice trembling ever so slightly. The idea that she could be mad despite everything, despite the fact that she’d hurt you first began to curdle you as well.
“Last night.”
She lunges and you smile, intercepting the punch, grabbing her wrist and flinging her backwards; she crashes into a vending machine that spills out its contents. Before she can recover - you were always the better martial artist - you’re on top of her, one hand on her neck.
Teeth gleaming, you grin widely.
“Want a chip?” you offer.
“Fuck you,” she hisses.
“Was Katsuki not enough?”
She grits her teeth. You can sense the gleam of her Quirk starting in her hands and jump off of her preemptively before she uses her ability, and she glares at you viciously. She doesn’t fix her mouth to say it but you know what she wants to say.
You didn’t have to hurt me back, her eyes say; you know her like the back of your hand.
You might not have had to hurt her back, but you did.
“Just so you know, it was decent, but you clearly got the better deal,” you say, twisting the knife in further. Her face twists into a snarl, then new tears start in her eyes.
“It wasn’t as simple as you think it was!”
You’re very close to punching her again for daring to say something so ridiculous, but instead you hold yourself still, crossing your arms over your chest to keep your hands from slipping around her neck.
“I think it’s pretty simple to keep your legs closed. See? I’m doing it right fucking now.”
She opens her mouth then closes it. The two of you stand face to face, breathing heavily, quietly, and then you think of the fact that Izuku and Katsuki are still fighting, and something in both of you stills.
There is a lot left unsaid between you two but you’ll deal with each other later, once you’ve ensured neither of Japan’s top 2 have met their end in such a ridiculous, over the top way.
#izuku x reader#bakugou x reader#izuku smut#bakugou smut#cw cheating#thoughts: izuku#thoughts: bakugou#daydreams: bnha#mimi's notes
361 notes
·
View notes
Text
It's been over a year, and I'm still never not thinking about the fact that that Hihiou Zabimaru was one man's unsuccessful forty-year project to beat Kuchiki Byakuya in particular. And, like, that sounds so pathetic and depressing, but it's really not! For one, the fact that Hihiou Zabimaru is designed to fight against Senbonzakura means that they also fight really well together, in the sense that they are both useful in the same conditions, and they cover for each other's weaknesses (Senbonzakura is faster, Zabimaru is more durable). Both of them can do offense or defense, but have trouble doing both at once. That's not a problem if Byakuya and Renji work together, and gives them a lot of flexibility.
Sometimes the way to defeat a sword is to create its opposite, but in this case, they're actually pretty similar, and if you think about the skills needed to wield them, they're very similar. For all that Byakuya and Renji butted heads in the Soul Society Arc, they get their shit sorted out pretty well, and by the TYBW, I think they have one of the best captain-lieutenant fighting partnerships, in terms of communication, trust, and sweet combo moves (Hitsugaya-Matsumoto is the other one that comes close, imo).
My thesis of this Tumblr post is that I think Byakuya spent a lot of time mentoring Renji, and the development of his bankai, specifically. From the first moment he sees it, Byakuya comments that Hihiou Zabimaru is Good, Actually.
He then immediately identifies how to defeat it:
I simply love whenever one slightly older Bleach character who is fighting a younger one cannot stop themself from giving battle tips and general life advice to their opponents (Ikkaku and Renji both do this to Ichigo and then Byakuya does this to Renji). I'm sure you could chalk it up to shounen manga using its characters as mouthpieces to explain what's going on, but in my mind and in my heart, it's because these dudes just love teaching!!! And you know why Byakuya was able to pinpoint Renji's weakness, just, immediately? Because that was him. You think Ginrei didn't do exactly this same thing to him a thousand times when he was learning to use Senbonzakura Kageyoshi?? (oh shit oh FUCK it's literally The Dodge all over again).
Anyway, you will never convince me that Byakuya doesn't love the fact that Renji picked him as his Favored Enemy and then went ahead and developed the Most Fun Bankai Possible for Senbonzakura Kageyoshi to Fight.
Just today, I realized that, while So-oh Zabimaru might represent Renji moving on from his rivalry with Byakuya, they also contain a very visible aspect of Byakuya's influence: the hand movement.
I'm not gonna lie, mostly I wanted to make this post because the idea of post-Blood War Byakuya and Renji sparring in bankai and waving their arms around like they're casting wizard spells is extremely hilarious to me. Do you think Byakuya could shape his petals into a giant hand so they can magically arm-wrestle? (RIP Komamura, this could have been you)
All jokes aside, though, the idea that it took Byakuya's help for Renji to learn to use The Grabby Arm--the thing that allows him to close distance, the thing that allows him to hold on to the things that matter to him--is honestly kinda poignant.
#renji abarai#byakuya kuchiki#byakuya and renji's weird relationship#rukia and renji are. combined. the little sibling byakuya never knew he wanted#rukia is his actual sibling which works because she's as uncomfy expressing affection as he is#renji is the pseudo-sibling who wants to be just like him and also they get to beat each other up#just an extremely ideal setup for ol' B#renji would be a bad real sib tho because he would want hugs#kuchiki do not hug#it's possible that rukia hugs renji. that is none of byakuya's business and he does not wish to know anything about it
64 notes
·
View notes
Note
how would bunny Koo react if he and noona was in an argument and out of frustration and anger noona slaps him, but then backs away terrified of what she’d just done and starts crying because she feels so bad about? (could you write like a response from Koo?)
sure xx
tw: ünhëâlthy rëlåtïonshïp, yändere bêhãvïöûr, släpp ïng, chëâtïng äccüsâtïöns.
“BUT YOU ARE BUSY ALL THE FUCKING TIME, WHO KNOWS WHATS KEEPING YOU SO BUSY?!” His voice threatens to break, you glare at him.
He’s really testing your patience right now.
“Or even who’s keeping you busy so late at night!” Jungkook screams at you, that’s it. He did not just accuse you of having an affair.
“What’d you just say?!” You cross your arms and stalk towards him, his ears are wiggling up and down and you bite your inner cheek.
“And how dare YOU SCREAM AT ME!?” Jungkooks attitude is way too much for you to handle, you’re exhausted, you’ve been working so hard to provide for the both of you, to give him a nice life and he’s here accusing you of cheating.
Just because you haven’t been spending time with him.
Wow, he’s become too ungrateful.
“N-Noona you’ve found someone else huh?” He’s crying now, sniffling so hard, if you weren’t so blind with rage you’d comfort him but all you feel right now is angry.
You’ve had enough, he’s too childish for you to handle.
“Are you seriously accusing me of all this bullshit because I haven’t been giving you much time?” You laugh, you don’t know how to react. He drives you crazy.
“You’re not a fuckin baby jungkook, grow the fuck up, I cannot be with you 24/7!” You groan, your gaze set on him, you needed to make him understand.
“W-What? Wow. You’ve changed.” His tears fall repeatedly but he gives you a look of disgust. “I can’t believe you, noona. Who’s the bastard you’re fucking at work huh? TELL ME!”
You gasp audibly, he thought of you that low? You weren’t a whore.
That’s it!
Before you can even think it through, you raise your hand and slap him hard, you watch as his face tilts due to force and his body moves a little. The sound echoes a little too loud, you feel an immediate burning itch on your hand.
And as soon as he looks at you with his teary eyes, his mouth open from shock, you notice what you’ve done because his red cheek reminds you of your actions.
“I-I…” tears gather in your eyes, your head feels heavy, you feel sick but your eyes don’t move away from his cheek.
You back away, “i-i am so s-sorry i-i didn’t mean t-to—” Jungkook blinks and sighs. “Noona…” he tries to grab you but you don’t let him.
“Do-Don’t touch me! I-I just hit you… oh my God.” You let your tears fall freely, a sob leaves your mouth as shame washes over you.
“N-NOONA… no I-It’s okay! Really! Please don’t g-go I messed up okay?! Don’t feel guilty! I was the one who misbehaved- I deserved this slap!” He doesn’t let you dodge him but he embraces your shaking body into his.
You try to break free from his hold, you can’t even look at him without feeling sick, “i-i hit you jungkook! I just raised my hand on you!” You cry, it’s too much.
You hit him.
“Hush… don’t cry like this please- I know you didn’t mean to okay? I made you do it, I accused you of horrible things noona- it’s okay… I love you.”
He presses a kiss on your head, rocking you.
“I love you. And I’m sorry.”
142 notes
·
View notes
Text
If I ever were to write a Malec AU inspired by the Leverage series
If you are not familiar with the Leverage series, here a very short synopsis: former high profile criminals form a team of vigilantes and use their unique skills to help the people that have been screwed over by the system.
Alec, in my head, is a cross between his canon personality, and his TWI personality. Meaning he may come across as ooc in specific instances.
He would also be crushing on Magnus from the get go (as in, he has been crushing on him for a while before they see him in the room with Valentine)
Okay, so basically the scene I have in mind is the crew watching the life stream of Valentine’s consultation with his court appointed lawyer.
The scene starts with whoever is watching the stream, let’s say Izzy, seeing Magnus enter the room and calling over the others.
Izzy: “Oh no. Guys! We have a problem!”
Jace: “What’s wrong?”
Alec: “... That’s Magnus!”
possible other crew member: “Who’s Magnus and why is he a problem?”
Izzy: “Magnus Bane is one of the best lawyers in this country.”
Jace: “And also the guy that Alec here has been crushing on for like a decade.”
Alec: “It hasn’t been a decade, shut up!”
Izzy: “And as today is the day that Valentine was scheduled to meet with his attorney, it seems that Magnus Bane is the legal representative in question.”
possible other crew member: “So this Bane guy is in league with the scumbag?”
Alec: “No. Magnus would never do this to me and the kids.”
Jace: “He doesn’t even know you exist. And what kids?”
Alec: “The ones we will be adopting once I get up the nerve to ask him out!”
Izzy: “I’m sorry big brother, but if it turns out that Magnus is in Morgenstern’s pocket, I cannot give you my blessing to pursue a relationship with him.”
Alec: “Hey, we don’t have all the information yet. Let’s just see what happens.”
focus on the video
Magnus: “Mr. Morgenstern. My name is Magnus Bane, and Judge Dieudonnè has appointed me personally with your case. But I’m pretty sure that you know that already.”
- Alec: “See? I knew Magnus couldn’t be in league with someone like Valentine. Stupid judge.” -
Valentine: “And why would you think that?”
Magnus: “Mostly because I no longer practice criminal law, so I shouldn’t have been in the rotation for court appointed legal defense to begin with.”
Valentine: “Hm. How curious. Well, I’m sure the judge just wanted to make certain that the best defense is available to a law abiding citizen. And if the rumors are to be believed, you are the best.”
- possible other crew member: “So wait. If this Bane guy wasn’t supposed to be a possible pick for Morgenstern’s defense, does that mean that the judge is in cahoots with Morgenstern?”
Jace: “Who even says cahoots anymore? That is a good question, though.” -
Magnus: “It seems we have a different understanding of the term ‘law abiding’. The list of charges against you and your organization is as long as it is disturbing. And frankly, I believe that you are guilty of each and every atrocity you are charged with.”
Valentine: “I thought you lawyer types believed in ‘innocent until proven guilty’. Almost all the evidence against me is circumstantial.”
- Izzy: “Yes, which is why we cannot afford for Valentine to have as good a lawyer as Magnus fucking Bane!”
Alec: “Maybe we can discredit the judge? Get Magnus released from his appointment?” -
Magnus: “Call it a gut feeling. Anyway, while I couldn’t outright deny Judge Dieudonnè’s request, I am allowed to decline the assignment after an official meet with the client. I have now officially met you, and I’m afraid to say that I don’t feel comfortable with defending you. Have a good day, Mr. Morgenstern.”
- Jace: “Alright, bullet dodged. Congrats Alec. Looks like your man is one of the good ones.”
Alec: “Do you think I should ask him out in that little cafe he likes to go to on wednesdays? I could buy him his favorite drink to start us off with, but I don’t want to come across as stalkery.”
possible other crew member: “Yeah, you knowing that he has a favorite cafe he visits every wednesday isn’t stalkery at all.” -
Valentine: “Should you really treat me like that, if you truly believe that all those heinous allegations against me are true? Shouldn’t you be worried about possible repercussions, in that case?”
- Alec: “Did he just threaten my future husband? Okay, that’s it! I’m getting into this prison and then I will break every bone in his body!” -
Magnus: “Let me make one thing perfectly clear, Mr. Morgenstern. I grew up as the only son of one of the richest, most influential, and morally bankrupt men in this state. I have been threatened with ‘possible repercussions’ my entire life, and I have endured and survived quite a few of them as well. You are a pathetic, hideous excuse for a human being, and for all the lives you have ruined, I sincerely hope that you will rot and slowly die in the most awful prison they can find for scum like you. As long as that is a viable outcome of your incarceration, I don’t care what you do to me.”
- possible other crew member: “Damn. Okay, that was hot. Not gonna lie.”
Alec: “It will be a spring wedding. He loves halloween. If I propose to him then, we will have enough time to plan everything so that the spring flowers will be in full bloom by the time of the actual event.” -
Valentine: “You know what? I actually believe you.”
Magnus: “Goodbye then.”
Valentine: “Can you say the same about Ragnor Fell? Or Raphael Santiago? How about Catarina Loss? Or her cute little daughter. What was her name again? Right. Madzie.”
- Jace: “Did he just…?”
Izzy: “Threaten Magnus’ loved ones? Yeah, he did.”
Alec: “I’m going to fucking kill him!” -
Magnus: “How did you-”
Valentine: “I bet you are already running through your options on how to keep your little found family safe. Bring additional blackmail charges against me? - Now that would only make me more angry, wouldn’t it? Get your friend into police protection? - If only you could be sure that I don’t have people under my thumb in the police. Fly them out of the country? - But do you really know how far my organization and allies reach? And would the threat against them be over with as soon as I face my sentence? What’s it gonna be, Magnus. Your friends, or my freedom?”
- Izzy: “Fuck.”
Jace: “Okay, we need to get on top of this like yesterday.”
Alec: “Contact the other teams. We need round the clock protection for Magnus and his family. We have to find and take down Valentine’s allies and underlings, in and out of law enforcement. And we need to do it before Valentine’s trial starts and Magnus is forced to represent him.”
possible other crew member: “Guess that first date you have been planning is gonna be sooner than you thought.” -
#magnus bane#alec lightwood#malec#shadowhunters tv#malec prompt#malec leverage inspired au#mundane malec#jace herondale#izzy lightwood#valentine morgenstern#yes Alec is kinda stalking Magnus a lot#like before and after the whole morgenstern thing#but he has the purest intentions#“It's not stalking it's research! How else am I supposed to know what he likes?!” - Alec#probably. :rofl:
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
Arslan Senki Chapter 126 (Part 2)
And unlike Kmanga you don't even have to pay twice for the privilege of having it split into two. SPOILERS for this chapter, I can't stress enough that the ending is a huge fucking cliffhanger so if you don't want to get spoiled please don't look.
That's a piece of the (Un)Holy Master's cloak...
Nicely dealt with by Andragoras!
Anyway, this is proper confirmation that Team Zahhak's clothing has magical properties / a life of its own and can potentially be dangerous even when separated from the wearer.
Given how fast the Master can dodge (or more correctly this is a teleportation style of evasion that I mentioned before where he reappears behind them) it's impressive that Andragoras actually landed a blow, though it's not even close to being a fatal one. Still, he looks like he's aiming to finish the job until the Master tries to regain control of the situation by attempting to blackmail Andragoras with the location of his child!
These panels of a shocked Hilmes in the background just watching all this drama unfold, lol
Anyway, it turns out Andragoras cannot be blackmailed and he'd rather renounce his child than be manipulated like this, which is... very on brand for Andragoras, regardless of what the truth about the child turns out to be in Arakawa's manga.
The Master: tch!
Hilmes: Yikes
(Is anyone of the Parsian royal line a good father? Doesn't seem that way in recent generations. Hilmes, please reverse this trend with Irina by your side, I'd love to see you both happy with a family!)
Anyway GUESS WHO'S KNOCKING AT THE DOOR IN THAT LAST PANEL? THAT'S RIGHT, IT'S ZANDEH, PUPPY BOY TO THE RESCUE! And he's still got that little guy who was one of Kharlan's soldiers with him, and that warms my heart for some reason, I hope he gets to live.
Hilmes... 😭
I wonder what Zandeh thinks? It's clearly not 'nothing at all'.
Anyway this makes me really sad because where we saw Arslan open up to his followers and receive their support, Hilmes... can't bring himself to do that. Personally, I feel that at this point, Zandeh would support him regardless (as would Sam, who unbeknownst to Hilmes already knows the truth) but Hilmes can't bring himself to admit it, to admit the fact that he's based his whole life around a lie. Without his claim to the throne, who is he?
It's sad that he can't see that the right to rule and the qualities that might inspire loyalty and love are based on so much more. I'm not saying that he's a worthy ruler right now, unlike Arslan he hasn't even thought about how he'll govern the country for the better, but I do find it sad that his mindset leaves him so isolated here when it doesn't need to be that way.
(I'm going to need an Irina mention soon. At least show that Hilmes is thinking of her, even if he feels he can't speak with her.)
That's it for Team Hilmes content this chapter, anyway.
Who should Team Arslan bump into on the way to Mount Demavant but the Zot with a leashed Don Ricardo, still clinging on to Rukhnabad! So while Arslan did deliberately set out to get the sword, in the end it looks like it's going to happen via a chance encounter (well, if anyone can ever persuade Don Ricardo to let go of it).
Gieve recognising Rukhnabad is a great moment! Even he is so shocked that it seems like he's struggling to form the words as he processes what he's seeing.
I feel pretty sorry for Don Ricardo, he hasn't really recovered mentally from his encounter with Zahhak, he doesn't look to be in a great state, and while the Zot are merely intending to hand him over to Arslan, they can't communicate with him so presumably all he knows is that he's their prisoner, he has no idea what his fate will be and nobody to reassure him. Likewise, they don't know what he's been through.
Team Arslan try to figure it out thanks to Estelle, but Don Ricardo is too distressed, so they decide to find a village to stay the night. It's at this point that alarm bells started going off in my mind.
Narsus says "It's too quiet." (I start thinking of the village he stayed in with Alfarid where Arzhang had killed all the villagers.)
The horses start freaking out (we know they react this way to Team Zahhak)
Team Arslan find bodies of villagers with only their brain eaten (and who do we know of who has an appetite for brains?)
OH FUCK, OH SHIT, OH FUUUUCK
A weird mist begins to seep into the scene; Zahhak in the novels was described as exuding a miasma of sorts, I think it provoked fear in those who were close to it?
PANELS THAT FILLED MY HEART WITH PURE DREAD
Gods, I hope everyone survives this encounter. I don't know how it's going to go down but it strikes me that this could be it, this could be the actual deciding fight as far as Zahhak is concerned, because we have Rukhnabad on the scene right here, it could really be happening in Arakawa's manga right now, and I'm not sure I'm ready?
My head is ringing with questions. What does Zahhak's full form look like (we see the snakes clearly but not what they're attached to)? Is he fully resurrected or are the shoulder snakes just operating on the instinct of hunger? What happened to Kaykhusraw's body? Are any members of Team Zahhak here with the Snake King? If Team Arslan do fight Zahhak here, how do they go about it? One on one? As the strongest warrior, will Daryun take him on? Will Arslan (with Estelle's help) manage to persuade Don Ricardo to hand over Rukhnabad, and will he opt to take on the Snake King himself with the sword's powers?
Man I wish Kubard were here... I've always said he'd set everyone straight about the notion of taking on a being like the Snake King in single combat... Just kill it, any way you can.
Part of me feels like Zahhak won't be defeated yet and this encounter will serve its purpose mainly in showing Team Arslan that he truly has been unsealed, so now they'll know what the sorcerers were working towards and they'll know what they're up against. But will they come through this unscathed? I'm not ready for character deaths!
My working theory as of this post: Zahhak is not fully conscious and is mainly being driven by the snakes' hunger; he is heading for Ecbatana for some sort of ritual involving the head jars where he will truly return in full. The final confrontation will take place after matters in the capital with Andragoras and Hilmes have been resolved, and may involve entering Team Zahhak's lair beneath Ecbatana (ArAkAwA sHoW mE tHe DaRk TeMpLe).
Guys... I am utterly exhausted, this chapter has wrecked me. I'll keep an eye out for raws / somewhere to read the simulpub for free and post a link if I see it.
#arslan senki#the heroic legend of arslan#arslan senki spoilers#the master#andragoras#hilmes#team zahhak#zandeh#don ricardo#zahhak#arslan
32 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
strangemachina
Drifting Source Code
brushingcloud
Brushing Cloud
bojangos
jasterblogging? in MY me?
selfsacrificingfools
Sit down, sit down, I'll buy you a drink
oldarmor
Old Armor