Something I think people forget is that James and Sirius are said to have bullied and hexed more kids than just Snape (who you could argue deserves it, at least a little). It was something they did for fun.
OotP it’s said by Lily in the Snapes Worst Memory chapter:
“Walking down corridors and hexing anyone who annoys you just because you can”
Then in the next chapter it’s corroborated by Remus who says the same thing:
“And stopped hexing people for the fun of it.” Said Lupin.
“Even Snape?” Said Harry
“Well.” Lupin said slowly, “Snape was a special case.”
In HBP we get the actual name of another kid they hexed on a detention slip that Harry has to copy out:
‘James Potter and Sirius Black. Apprehended for using an illegal hex on Bertram Aubrey.’
So it wasn’t just Snape, and it wasn’t some crusade against the dark arts. Hexing kids was something they did for the shits and giggles because they could - and something they did grow out of by the time they were 7th years.
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that final scene in this ep of utsukushii kare. it feels like someone just ripped out my gut, slashed it open and trampled over the bloody remains. i want to sob. I want to out loud, fat tears, shaking my body sob. but all im stuck on is hira’s brokenly confused face, kiyoi on top of him grabbing onto his clothes and crying, an absolute tornado of emotion the likes of which he’s never shown, all to hira, all because of hira, and yet hira sits there and it’s like the storm covers him but he’s inside this impenetrable building and not a single drop of rain hits him. he knows it’s raining, he can hear it battering down on the roof, but it’s just rain. he doesn’t understand the full extent, doesn’t know the wind is ripping down trees and lightening is cracking the sky in two. and because he’s inside, he doesn’t need to know, doesn’t care to know, doesn’t want to know. hira will happily stay inside, in his bubble, in his constructed world, and he will be alone, and he will suffer, but that’s alright bc he’s not out there.
it’s like he’s gotten used to the internalized problems he faces, and they stick with him, almost a comfort to him now, in that he’ll see them when they’re not there. the external things that make him worried and anxious now, they’re less so, but hira still is that high school kid, getting picked on for his stutter, that faded into the background. he’s stuck there, and he’s never grown past it, and there’s almost a security in not growing, not changing, even if the thing you’re stuck as is worry and anxiety and invisibility and self doubt and constant internal doubt and criticism and lack of confidence. at least he’s used to it. at least there isn’t anything new to challenge him. and it shows, bc whenever he is challenged, in the sense that something that doesn’t fit he’s established world and role happens, he puts himself down and apologizes, like it’s a practiced, default reaction. that’s how he got through before, it’s how he learned to get through. but now, in the place he finds himself, in the situation and relationship he’s in, this is not a place for that reaction. the people he’s around, kiyoi, he doesn’t need hira to put himself down. he doesn’t need apologies. he wants understanding. and hira just resolutely refused that, said that he not only doesn’t understand hira, but that he doesn’t want to, and he’s not going to attempt to. and I don’t think he could have said anything more heartbreaking to kiyoi. all he has ever wanted was for someone to see him and understand him and love him for it. hira gives him love, unendingly and uncritically. he’s love is irrespective of anything kiyoi does or says or feels. it’s love of an idea, of a theory, of a concept in a pretty shell. it’s not love of the human inside, it can’t be, bc he just said he doesn’t want to understand that person, and without that there can’t be love. you can’t love something you can’t see or comprehend, that there’s a person kiyoi that isn’t the god kiyoi there is in his universe.
and the thing is, I think hira could’ve understood kiyoi, back when he saw a side of kiyoi that no one else did and still showed him love. I think down the line he could’ve gotten to know that person more and liked him, but the thing is, it’s different bc of kiyoi’s feelings. bc kiyoi’s feelings contradict so much what hira believes about himself that he can’t understand him. it’s easier to not know kiyoi that way and stick to his established universe, rather than understand kiyoi fully, bc in that he has to reevaluate everything, about himself and his place in the world and kiyoi’s place too. that is not an easy task. and it’s not that hira wouldn’t, I don’t think. I think there is a feasible future where hira recognizes that choice he can make and chooses kiyoi, chooses to challenge himself out of love for kiyoi and a want to understand him, and maybe even a want to understand and love himself. but bc he doesn’t recognize that as a choice he can make, he can’t do it. and I think that’s what hira needs to face, which I think is more than kiyoi and his feelings and care for hira can manage to accomplish. hira’s mental dissonance is gonna be a work in progress, it’s just a matter or him realizing it and getting to a point of actually working on it. the only thing is, in the meantime, can kiyoi be patient with hira, and the hurt he makes him feel? should he? bc when hira outright refuses to understand, when it feels that rigid and definite, when there’s no feasible future where he will understand, what’s the point? that’s the heartbreak. that hira is constantly worrying about forever, but he just denied a forever with kiyoi. and the problem is him, just not for the reasons he thinks he is. he needs to realize there is no forever with kiyoi the god, bc gods don’t last forever, they’re ephemeral, they’re fleeting. there can be a forever with kiyoi though, the man, the person, the human being, he just needs to step outside, into the storm, and let it soak him. bc when he gets to stand with kiyoi in the rain, he’ll see it’s worth it.
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Absolutely adore how all of Agott's growth spanning across the whole series is finally culminating into what we've seen of her in past multiple chapters, and I love love love how Coco is at the center of it all, as she always has been.
The Silver Night Procession is, given the, ya know *gestures towards the mess that is Agott's family situation*, extremely important to Agott. In her mind, lot hinges on how she will be able to present herself.
Yeah, we had a Whole Damn Talk about this, but it's not like that desire to prove herself fo her family just poofs out of existence ya know? I'm certain Agott is very much aware her mother will show up any moment, if she isn't already at the parade, and hoping she can do something about impressing her, even if it's not Agott's sole reason for participating anymore.
And yet, the second she sees Coco locked up in terror
(which btw like, am I reaching or does this scarily mirror Agott's flashback to her younger self crumbled on the floor. I'm willing to put this on my brain grasping for angsty implications but I digress)
When Agott sees her she immediately rushes to her. Zero hesitation. Fuck her reputation and fuck her family, Coco being in despair is magnitudes more important.
And I just vibe with this so much y'all like, Agott is so ride of die for Coco. I don't know how many people ship them, personally I'm in the camp of "Agott has a crush on Coco the size of an ocean and it'd be very cute if they held hands more often" but they're just. Precious. And then Kamome Shirahama still didn't think we're cheering loud enough and drops the Arco/Orufrey parallel like.
*waves my hands around wildly* Are you seeing what I'm seeing. How else am I supposed to interpret this. Poetic cinema.
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MAIN CHARACTER ENERGY AFFIRMATIONS💅🏻
I'M MAGNETIC
THEY WANT MY LOVE
THEY WANT MY ENERGY
THEY WANT ME
THEY NEED ME
THEY CRAVE FOR ME
THEY DAYDREAM ABOUT ME
THEY WANT MY TIME
THEY WANT MY ATTENTION
THEY WANT MY HELP
THEY DREAM ABOUT ME ALL NIGHT
THEY JUST WANT ME
THEY ARE OBSESSED WITH ME
THEY WANT ME AROUND THEM ALL THE TIME
THEY ARE MESMERIZED BY ME
THEY ARE FALLEN FOR ME
THEY ARE ON THEIR KNEES FOR ME
THEY CAN DO ANYTHING TO HAVE ME
THEY ARE TRYING THEIR BEST TO WIN ME
THEY KNOW I'M HIGH VALUE WOMAN
THEY KNOW I'M HIGH PRICED
THEY KNOW I'M DIVINE
THEY KNOW I'M A HIGH SOUL
THEY KNOW I'M THE BEST
THEY KNOW ALL THEY NEED IS ME
THEY KNOW I'M DROP DEAD GORGEOUS
THEY KNOW I'M A PURE SOUL
THEY KNOW THEY ARE OBSESSED WITH ME
I'M FIXED ON THEIR MIND
I LIVE IN THEIR HEART, MIND AND SOUL RENT-FREE😉
I'M THEIR SOFT SPOT
THEY FAVOUR ME EVEN WITHOUT ASKING FOR IT
THEY ARE LOYAL TO ME
THEY KNOW MY WORTH
THEY KNOW I'M RARE VIBE
THEY BELIEVE THAT I'M A GODDESS AND TREAT ME LIKE A GODDESS
THEY KNOW I'M THE LEADER
THEY KNOW I'M SMARTER
THEY KNOW I'M DANGEROUS
THEY KNOW I'M INACCESSIBLE
THEY KNOW I'M HARD TO HAVE
THEY KNOW I'M A BLESSING
THEY BELIEVE THAT I'M A MANIFESTATION
THEY KNOW I'M THE MAIN CHARACTER
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