#author is a lit student so based on real events
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New Obikin snippet. A tiny scene from College/University AU, in which bookish lit professor Kenobi met Anakin (who is a total Twink and with that absolutely Obi-Wan's type) at a bar. Just as the sun raises, Obi-Wan flees out of guilt (catholic guilt, let's hope he was nice enough to leave a note) and now is faced with his growing affection for the infatuating young man (or more so a looming sexual crisis)
I do find it hard to realize my true potential
And without the right credentials
I am lost
A new attraction meant a possible new love and that could only lead to a new heartbreak, sighed Obi-Wan, dwelling on memories of last night’s Twink.
A knock echoed through his office and tore Obi-Wan out of his thoughts. Office hours, he reminded himself with a smile, grateful for the distraction. The door was opened and a girl entered with confident steps. She was tall for her age, over 5’8. Her bleached hair was braided and formed into two horns on her head – a fashion statement, Obi-Wan guessed. Alternative or Punk or whatever the teens liked nowadays and could combine with Dr. Martens and an excessive amount of black. As an Add-on a couple of the strands had been colored blue to give her some kind of two-tone look. “Ahsoka Tano, my dear.”, he greeted her, smiling with gritted teeth. “How may I help you?”
She was a party beast, known for her excessive drinking and her disaster-attracting behavior. A can of black spray paint was her best friend and together they decorated the walls on Campus with political statements on regular bases. “Fuck the system” or “The system failed us.” seemed to be her favorite ones. Some weeks ago, she had trashed University property with a baseball bat – God knows, where she got it from, probably her brother, he guessed, another nightmarish creature of GenZ – but most importantly she belonged to the 48 students in Obi-Wan’s creative writing course. So, whatever she wanted was now his problem. At least she did not count to the “I-Want-to-kriff-my-father-and-have-no-problem-with-It” Students. Another group of students of his, who paved the way for sleepless nights with their writing – why did father issues need to be romanticized by Pop Culture again?
“Good afternoon, Professor Kenobi”, she greeted and bowed her head down a bit. Untypical for her usual unruly self, he noted. She fidgeted with her fingers and looked down 0at her black-painted nails as if she was nervous and bottling up something, planning something nefarious in her demonic mind of teenage madness. “I wanted to speak to you as the dean of the English faculty.”, she explained, averting his gaze.
He raised an eyebrow and took another sip from his tea cup, no need to lose his mind – yet. He wasn’t going to let himself be lured to become some kind of pawn for her weird games. He was not going to let his helpfulness be exploited. “What can I do for you, Ms. Tano? Is this about your exam?”
“No-“, she tried to say but he had already interrupted her and continued talking. Better to keep her distracted before she can open any sort of box of Pandora in his office, he has to clean up behind her. 1“I haven’t corrected them yet so I can assure you I haven’t found anything troubling. I hoped I have stressed that enough in your course, creative writing is a process that unveils us and leaves us vulnerable. Nothing to be ashamed of. I as the supervisor, have no right to play judge of your content, it is more the mistake you make in the way of telling it- ”
Her bright laughter interrupted his speech and she cringed in her seat as if he had just told her that he believes in extraterrestrials, that are cosplaying as cats on earth. Now that he has the thought - “Sorry, Professor Kenobi, nice words, but we all know that you and your colleague play bingo with our texts.”
“I don’t know what you are-“, he tried, pushing up his horn-rimmed glasses, straightening his back and brushing off the dust of his jacket, realizing how ridiculous he must look – or more how ridiculous he behaves, dancing around his student as if she is a ticking time bomb.
“It’s been leaked years ago, no need to play it down, and posted all over the internet.”, Ahsoka laughed and the timidness from before disappeared from her expression. She pulled out her phone and tipped something into the search bar, the black-painted nails clicking against the screen. “Have you never wondered why your rating on ‘Professor 101’ is so catastrophically low?”
“I just assumed, that it was a natural consequence of my teaching style and the ideals, I project onto my students. A study of the portrayal of the hero figure in 18th-century French literature is not for everybody and therefore I cannot expect maximum grade from all of you.”
“Here.”, she commented and offered Obi-Wan a look at her phone screen. Twitter was opened and a Tweet with an attached photo could be read. It was by a user named ‘Rex_the_tryannosaurusRex’. What a reliable source, he mocked in his mind, why do I even try to teach them anything? before he looked at the image more precisely. Shame flooded his system. It was an obvious bingo grit sketched lazily onto a sticky note and a high score was marked under it. Nearly all squares in the grit were underlined. That year he had won with everything he had noted down, his high score.
“Someone has to provide the material to make bets on and who would be better than the supervisor of the creative writing course?”
“Ms. Skywalker, what you are stating is an accusation that should not be made lightly.”, he tried to sound serious – but how can he with cheeks as red as a lobster?
“Relax, professor.”, she smiled and put the phone back into her leather jacket, which looked awfully familiar to Obi-Wan but he did not dare to think the threat to an end. Wasn’t it the one that he had sneaked his fingers under it to feel the muscled back of –
”Our college is a bit messed up. The lectures are wild, so are our professors and so are we students. In fact, we actually make bets on your bingo game too.”
“Ahsoka Tano Skywalker, this is-“
“For years I have been betting on you on your victory streak, Professor Kenobi. Your gameplay is easy to analyze and if you ask me, pretty predictable but who cares if this provides me with 8 free beers each semester.”, she continued and ignored him completely.
“Please-“
“Winning is a simple task to accomplish if somebody would just follow your rules. Make a vertical row with the father issue, at least one spelling mistake in the word abrupt, everybody seems to change the b and p at least once, and ‘end’ written in capital letters at the end of the essay. Bingo, you win!”, she cheered.
That was a bitter pill to swallow, Obi-Wan told himself and tried to calm down his quickened breathing. The entire student body seemed to have officially lost their mind and loved to drag their professor into their misery. Though examining Ahsoka Tano Skywalker and her cheeky grin, which could only be a portrayal of madness, she seemed to be completely fine with it. She showed symptoms of hysteria and still was caught in her haze of teenage craziness. How has it come that the world did evolve into this?
“You cannot have possibly come to my office hours to humiliate me, Ms. Tano.”, Obi-Wan stated and felt anger coloring his voice, which he tried to suppress by taking another sip from his teacup, the china shaking dangerously. He set it down again with all the grace, that he could manage, and took a long deep breath, just as Qui-Gon explained in his stupid yoga sessions.
“To be honest, I have come exactly for that. I wanted to humiliate you though not for the silly bingo game.”, she grinned and then added,” This is a little joke between you and me.”
“What ridiculous other thing have I committed that makes me worthy of your mockery in your opinion?”
The absolute sweetest smile he had ever seen in his life flashed on her face and she asked in an innocent voice of a little girl, “How does it feel like to have fucked my brother?”
... that's the scene. Hope you enjoy!
#obikin au#obikin fic#star wars inspired#star wars fic#star wars au#that bingo thing is real profs do that in reality#felix's weird thoughts and drabbles#crack fic#Anakin is a Twink#Obi-Wan is helpless#and Ahsoka a total menace#obi wan x anakin#Obi-Wan stuff#sw fanfic#author is a lit student so based on real events#felix's try on humor#obikin#college au
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Book Recommendations (from a lit grad student)
So, as I have come to the end of my MA in world lit, I thought I should give you a list of some of the best books I've read, or learnt from. I ignore established canon and give to you recommendations from across the globe and across all genres. Books that defined their genre, or made an impact, or are just really cool and enjoyable to read. This list is not all dead white men.
I have split the list by era/year of publication primarily for easy reading. A lot of the sections are arbitrary. Some of them are not.
Note: This list is not conclusive! This is based on my own readings, and my own, personal, opinions. You have the right to your own opinions and preferences. If you have any suggestions, add them on below.
Classic lit (pre-1700)
Aristole - Poetics (c. 335 BCE)
As much as I hate it...this one is actually pretty important. I know I said 'contributions to literary canon don't matter', and here I am, immediately doing the opposite. But! Aristotle's Poetics is the earliest treatise on literary theory that has survived to the modern day. You want to know where our ideas of comedy and tragedy come from? Poetics. Three act structure? Poetics. Plot and character? Poetics. Key terms like catharsis, hubris, hamartia? Poetics. We had to read this for creative writing, and did I hate it? Yes. Am I a better writer for having read it? Also yes
Plato - The Republic (c. 375 BCE)
Plato is quite easy to read, of the classical philosophers. His works are mostly dialogues between characters, which makes them more engaging that some other dry philosophy texts. I wrote out a longer post with an explanation of Plato's Republic specifically here.
Genji Monogatari (pre-1021)
The first novel ever! Originally written in Japanese, be careful of your translations because most are of questionable quality. I've only read the first one by Suematsu and that's uhhhhh Bad™ but I think the current waterstones edition is decent?
The Völsunga saga OR The Vinland sagas (early 13th century)
Ah, how to choose just one Norse saga? These are both pretty solid examples of their style, and short (always a plus). The Völsunga saga was the inspiration behind Wagner's Der Ring des Nibelungen (famous for the piece The Valkyrie), and most likely Tolkien's works. The Vinland sagas supposedly have an anime/manga series inspired by them, though looking at the synopsis I cannot see where the inspiration was other than time period. Norse sagas - especially the Icelandic ones such as Vinland - are actually pretty good guides to real historic events, which is very cool. I could go on for hours about this, but I'll spare you the rambling.
Thomas More - Utopia (1516)
Lovely little sarcastic book about tudor politics and human nature all wrapped up in the original 'utopian text'. Surprisingly funny for something written so long ago, and very easy to read. I wrote a longer post about it here
Aphra Behn - Oroonoko (1688)
Hated it, but the themes are interesting and wow did the author lead an interesting life. Widely considered to be the first novel written in English, deals with colonialism, slavery, and honour, and Aphra Behn was a spy? I'm sure some of you will eat that up. Be warned, very 'noble savage'-y book, but less racist than it could've been so cool, I guess?
Early Modern Drama
Christopher Marlowe - Edward II (1592)
Gay. So gay. We're not supposed to call it gay (because of a whole host of reasons that I can and will explain if anyone shows up in my askbox complaining about academics) but it is a very very queer play and Kit Marlowe was too which is even better. Also our one and only history play on this list. Anyone who already knows how Edward II died (thanks horrible histories) do not spoil the ending.
Shakespeare - Twelfth Night (1602)
As with any Shakespeare, watch a performance if you can. I highly recommend the National Theatre version that was up on youtube in 2020. Very gay, no one is cishet. Lots of singing and dancing. Prime example of Shakespeare's comedies with added gender shenanigans.
Shakespeare - Hamlet (1609)
Yes I'm basic. Yes I like Hamlet. In the same way that Twelfth Night is a great example of Shakespeare's comedies, Hamlet is a good example of his tragedies. Mostly, though, I'm recommending this because the castle it's set in in Denmark (Elsinore) a) actually exists and b) does an amazing educational programme, with live actors performing scenes all across the castle! Watching the 'to be or not to be' soliloquy in the banquet hall just adds a whole other level to the experience of reading the play.
Shakespeare - Measure for Measure OR The Tempest
Shakespeare's problem plays. I couldn't pick just one, because they're both fantastic in different ways. Measure for Measure features what can only be described as the early-modern version of an ace protagonist - Isabella - who I adore. The Tempest has a really interesting portrayal of early colonialism and slavery. The reason they are 'problem plays' is they check all the boxes for a comedy...but they're not funny. At all. And they also check some of the boxes for a tragedy. They're certainly interesting reading
Ben Jonson - The Alchemist (1610)
Just a really good, solid play. Very funny. Bunch of con artists set up an elaborate scheme to rob rich people. Also very good for showing class structures of the time. Shakespeare gets all the recognition for this era but Jonson is just as good really, and definitely as clever.
Regency and Victorian lit (1700-1900)
Jane Austen
Literally anything by Austen. She is just so funny, so witty, and I wholeheartedly believe she'd be a feminist today. Master of the female gaze in literature, but beyond that she is basically credited with the invention of free indirect discourse, which is super cool. I have only read Pride and Prejudice, but I have heard good things about most of her books, so I don't feel bad recommending all of them.
William Blake
There's one poem by Blake about a London street urchin that breaks my heart every time I read it and that is the sole reason behind this recommendation I hate Romantic poets.
Mary Shelley - Frankenstein (1818)
You knew it was coming. First sci-fi, gothic horror, teenage girl writer. Gotta love Shelley.
Frederik Douglass - Narrative of the Life of Frederik Douglass (1845)
You know those books that are horrifying because they're real? That's this book. Doesn't shy away from the horrors of slavery and for a reason. This is an autobiography. It is not fiction.
Gowongo Mohawk - Wep-ton-no-mah (1890s)
My favourite play of all time. You will need to do a trip to either the British Library or the Library of Congress to read it because there are no other copies, but I did do a whole podcast episode about it because I'm apparently the expert? You can find it here.
Bram Stoker - Dracula (1894)
I know here on tumblr we adore Dracula, and for good reason. It's horrifying, it's got a blorbo, if you haven't read it already, go with a dracula daily read-through or @re-dracula for the best experience. (Re:Dracula also has episodes where they get scholars on to talk about things like racism and gender and queer theory surrounding the text which is SO COOL as an ex-lit student I love listening to those episodes.
Post-1900
Oscar Wilde - De Profundis (1905)
We had to read a snippet of this for A-Level and I wish it had been more because wow. Most lists like this will recommend Dorian Gray because it's a novel, but De Prof is so heartfelt and beautiful and sad and deserves to be read.
Baroness Orczy - The Scarlet Pimpernel (1905)
First masked vigilante/superhero! If you like comic books or superhero media, this is where it all started (funny how all the firsts so far have been written by women 🤔)
Erich Maria Remarque - All Quiet on the Western Front (1929)
If you only read one book in your life about WW1 make it this one! It is heartbreaking and beautifully written and makes you feel so many things. It was banned in...a lot of places for being anti-war (especially as WW2 came closer) and also because it was written by a German who was anti-war which was apparently impossible to comprehend. The prose is truly something to behold.
Modern lit (Post-war era)
George Orwell - 1984 (1948) OR Animal Farm (1945)
Which one you should read depends a lot on how long your preferred book is and how metaphorical your tastes are. Both are very good explorations of corrupt governments. Animal Farm is an easier read and shorter and is much more allegorical. 1984 is very in-your-face about how much authoritarian governments suck. Do not discount 1984 just because Winston is a terrible person. Everyone knows he's terrible. That's the whole point. He is a normal terrible person, not a cartoonishly evil terrible person, or an angelically perfect revolutionary. All the characters are realistic for their situation.
Maya Angelou - I know why the caged bird sings (1969)
Another one with some beautiful prose. She's a poet and you can tell. It's an autobiography, plus there's a lot of clever stuff going on with how it's written. You could write an essay about this. I did.
Ghassan Khanafani - Return to Haifa (1969)
A short story by a Palestinian author - we were given this by our Palestinian lecturer as an intro to the conflict and the terrible things that colonialism has done to the region. Additionally, there are notes throughout that help explain the significance of things and background and all that jazz. There is a play version that is probably easier to find because it was published more recently but it's not as good.
Ben Okri - The Famished Road (1993)
I did not read this book for uni and I think that may have influenced my opinion of it slightly but I still credit it as one of the reasons I got interested in world lit and translation. It's a really beautiful exploration of Nigerian mythological tradition and its effect on family and politics in this kind of fascinatingly weird style that's both magical realism and modernist? I hate modernism but love magical realism more so.
Carmen Maria Machado - In the Dream House (2019)
What a book oh wow. It reads like poetry. I cannot think of anything coherent to say my brain is screaming. The novel explores abuse in queer relationships, which is something people don't normally talk about, through some very interesting motifs and I love it so much. It is hard to read, but very rewarding.
#studyblr#english lit student#bookblr#book recommendations#maybe i will do another one for theory#maybe i will not#classics#literature#the lack of early 1900s stuff distresses me but also#i am not and never have been a fan of that era#i am not willing to inflict virginia woolf or ts eliot on anyone#my specialties are all pre-1900 or post-war soooo
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STOP USING “SELF INSERT” TO BELITTLE OCS AND THEIR CREATORS!!!!
ahem, despite likely being my ap/ib lit teacher’s least favorite student after bringing a poster explaining fanfiction to class instead of working on my ee, i do know a lot about literature, so let me tell you a little secret:
self inserts are a hallmark of classic literature.
this is a gross oversimplification, but essentially, fiction isn’t just a means to tell stories; it’s also a way of commenting on social, economic, and political issues indirectly. so, a lot of classical authors wrote in self insert protagonists or side characters to share their perspective on events.
take for example jane eyre. jane eyre is the biggest baddest self insert i’ve ever seen.
by all accounts, jane eyre’s personality and appearance was based on her author, charlotte brontë. both were described as being physically “small” and “plain”, but having a passionate personality which was contrary to the docile nature expected of women at that times.
the narrative also parallels many events from brontë’s own life. although not orphaned like jane, she did lose her mother at a young age and was subsequently sent to live with her father’s sister, exactly like jane.
then, like jane, brontë was sent to a boarding school which experienced an epidemic of typhus. in jane eyre, this outbreak kills jane’s best friend helen burns. in real life, it killed two of brontë’s older sisters. then, both jane and brontë went on to become governesses.
so what’s the main difference between the two? well, jane had a happy ending. she found ”true love” (i actually think rochester was abusive but that’s a rant for another day) which was something brontë always wanted. rochester was the victorian equivalent of a modern day bad boy. so basically, jane eyre is a self insert story where the protagonist enters a love triangle and ends up with the hot, rich, bad boy. and it’s one of the most famous novels of all time.
the thing is, characters with a personal connection to the author is both easier to write and allows the author to impart greater meaning in both their characters and story.
so, in conclusion, write the most blatantly self-insert characters you want! feel no shame in hopping on a trend present in centuries of literature! if the greats could do it, so can you!
some sources to find out more
(and for the people who need more examples, the Dubliners is a good place to look. also technically homer had a self insert side character but also no one even knows if homer was real. there are a lot more but i don’t want to be here all week)
#actual kinda serious stuff#jane eyre#writeblr#writing#self inserts#ocs#characters#writing tips#frick rochester all my homies hate rochester
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how would stray kids interact with mc in high school if they ever met? // high school au headcanons [stray kids/reader]
pairing: skz hyung line + mc [reader]
description: who would mc interact with in high school if they ever met? what kind of interactions would they have? // bulletpoints headcanons + small snippets
genre: platonic, high school au, friendship, humour, hurt/comfort
author’s note: this could be a stand alone or not, the mc is the same bodyguard/intern au!mc...it's just a "what ifs" kinda thing, fellas
p.s. some of the scenarios are based off real life events that happened to me in high school but i overly exaggerated some of them for the shit and giggles,, tell me which event actually happened to me in the askbox lmao I'm curious
pls I'm funny i swear
cw: minor swearing, just teenagers being teenagers, idiots, mention of blood (?) uhh mentions of violence (??)
unedited
// no beta read, we’ll die like men
---
bang chan
mc is a '00 liner,
she doesn't interact with her seniors pt.1
to interact with them; it would have to be a school event or a collab project between the seniors and the juniors
possibly would be approached first by chan during sports day or a school festival for something
he thought that she's a pretty decent track runner when he saw sprint during the sports day track event
after that incident, chan would greet her in the hallways or wherever if he ever comes across her
mc would always awkwardly greet him back
“hey! you’re that really fast track runner, you did great that day!” chan complimented her in the hallways. out loud.
mc prays to whoever above there that chan would stop talking so loud as she could feel her face burn when she felt eyes on her.
cue to her awkwardly smiling at him and nodding, “yep, that’s me, yes, alright, senior chan.”
chan finds her adorable ever since that first few encounters
he also found out that she hangs out with felix just as much as he does
(love rivals (for felix) arc when)
he doesn’t know who to be envious of
that mc gets to spend so much time with lix or
felix being able to spend so much time with her
the never-ending saga
(love rivals (for felix) arc turned into possible rivals to friends arc)
(okay, im joking)
their respective friends group made a running joke
about how chan and mc are love rivals for felix
(it eventually became theirs as well)
(it's funny)
once he made her go off-tangent about felix
she was really passionate about his freckles and smile
for a moment
he really did think that she has a crush on him
no surprises there tho
felix IS absolutely cute
(friends arc?? omg, all for felix, HA)
he really really finds her adorable
he could go on for days
esp her little habit of covering her mouth when she speaks
sweater paws bc he almost always sees her with a jacket on even if it was a hot day
it's like a second skin on her
he once asked her if she ever removes her jacket
“only when im on school ground or during school events like assembly, i’ll take it off, senior chan.”
“eh? don’t you feel warm underneath that during a hot day?”
“...i do remove it sometimes, i guess...but i like wearing it bc it’s comforting.”
one time chan saw her without her jacket and wears short-sleeves uniform, he really wanted to shower her in his affections n also it’s such a rare sight that he almost couldnt recognized her
“haha hey, you didn’t wore your jacket today!”
“they’re in the laundry and...today’s a hot day...unfortunately, haah.”
he once tried to ruffle her hair but found her dodging his hand so fast at breakneck speed
that he was kinda concerned
she told him that her hair hasn't been washed yet so it's dirty
but the thing is: she told him every time he tried to ruffle her hair
“you’re not letting me pat your head on purpose.”
“senior chan, i wouldn’t do such a thing.” he noticed the little teasing smile before it disappeared.
he wondered briefly if she has always been this playful and cheeky with others her age
chan is aware that she speaks formally towards him out of habit though so he lets it slide and let her take her time growing comfortable with him.
he knew she was lying but let's her be anyway
bc she's his cute little junior
---
lee minho
another case of mc's "no seniors juniors interaction"
minho’s very attractive so mc will definitely avoid him at all cost
plus, he looks intimidating to her so bye bye
to not step on any of her classmates' landmines that has the hots for him
drama isn't her thing, she already witness a handful and even got thrown into the fire as fuel before
no thank you she liked having her life in high school as peaceful as possible
mc would make her conversations with him very short n blunt
she's not gonna catch anyone's hands today, my dudes
really, she doesn’t
minho thinks of her like a small kitten that needs to be taken care of
bc of how she always scutters away from chan whenever he’s with him
if they ever interact
it would be when the juniors have the collab with their seniors
like a science fair, where the students have to come up with things to showcase
his class coincidentally collabs with her class for that particular event
he told chan about it and he have never seen chan pout and deflate like that
the only person he does that to is felix...if not, it’s jeongin.
chan sure adores this little junior other than felix huh…
then again, felix and mc does hangout a lot and so does jisung and her
so he took this chance as to know more abt her
coughs because jisung seems to be talking a lot about her coughs
(minho + mc love rivals (for jisung) arc pt. 2 when)
(mc really about to fight 2 seniors because she's stealing their respective juniors huh)
(the never-ending saga of love rivals)
he approached her inside that shared classroom for the collab event
she looked constipated when he approached her group of friends
even more so when he directly asked for name and whatnot
it kinda made him want to tease her even more now
he found out her name and what they were planning to do
heard her cursing under her breath
he decided to join their group on the whim
found out that mc is just a little shy whenever he approached her
her friends are somewhat protective of her
he got glared at by one of them once when he wanted to greet mc in the hallways
and mc kind of hid half of herself behind them
so whenever she’s on her own, he would try to approach her as slowly as possible
like. dealing with a cat and you’re a stranger trying to gain their trust
what he never will forget nor stop teasing her was about
her spinning on her heels to walk into the direction she was previously coming from
just to avoid him
he couldn't help but find it hilarious
he won her over when he brings the topic of cats wandering around their school campus
saw how her eyes lit up brightly
“the stray cats here are fun to play with, right?”
“yeah, me and friends decided to name a few of them too!”
he mentioned it to her because he saw her playing with the cats when she was waiting for someone or when she has time to play with them during recess
and the ramblings of a high schooler about cats commences
he wasn’t bothered about how much she talked
would nod along with what she says
because wow, shes really passionate about cats
that's a huge bonus for minho
and that was how minho adopted another kitten
whenever they weren’t busy with their own things, they would play with the cats together
playdate with cats <3
she would tell him that one particular grey cat was called
“this cat’s name is miss universe! they’re so cute, right?” she picked the cat up and cuddle with it, eyes sparkling with joy
“why did you guys name them that?”
“because why not?”
“fair enough point.”
and she laughs
he was glad that she stopped being so cautious around him if he was being honest
since the way chan was talking about her so affectionately made him really curious about her
casually mentions that jisung talks about her a lot
expected her to be bashful about it
but all she does was
“oh, cool, what did he say? I’m a weeb? Hah, he’s the same as I am” + "he should've said to it my face, senior minho, hmph"
so making her flustered backfired on him
poor minho
here’s your “you tried” star
mwah
so yeah, minho adopted a new cat (his little junior)
---
seo changbin
same case as the two above, unfortunately
if they do ever interact, it's short and pleasantries
mc does kinda find him intimidating to certain extent
she's not good with dealing with intimidating looking people
but when he smiles, her shoulders feel less tense when she interacts with him
thinks of him as a pretty cool senior
he made her listen to his rap once n she told him that he's so cool n that stuck with him for days
imagine a junior telling you that you're so cool with that starry-eyed expression
your ego would go off the rooftop
after that, changbin would make it out of his way to greet her in the hallways
RAP MUSIC BUDDIES???? POTENTIAL
pat her on the head occasionally
if she doesn't dodge like hell away from his hands
“why do you keep avoiding them”
“no, don’t pat me, you’re treating me like a cat”
“I’m not?” lies, ever since minho told him that she reminds him of a cat, he really thought about it more
“you have that same look minho gives me when he tries to pat me…hyung…”
“we’re really going to make you call us oppa one day, watch us”
“um, yeah, no.”
“let your cute senior pat your head!!”
“im gonna run away!”
he knows that the younger ones in their friend group do interact with her
esp felix and jisung
for innie’s circumstances, that’s different
she does comes to him every once in awhile to abuse her title of his cute little junior to get a chance to listen to a teaser of his raps or songs he composes
found out that she does like rap songs! a lot more than he thought
they became those friends who shares new songs they found out and share it with each other
even at ungodly hours like 2am in the morning
that would not stop them
“this song reminds me of you”
“hey hey hey listen to this, psst”
“This shit SLAPS, go listen or else im gonna fight you in the school hallway, coward”
he became smug about it and boast about his knowledge to 3racha
jisung complained that he thought she only listened to anime songs or soft indie songs because he saw her playlists before
changbin told them that she has other playlists that’s for more “intense and aggressive” songs
they were floored and the conversation starts like this,
“what do you mean she likes listening to yours and ours music and raps?”
“im not kidding, she does! she even showed me her playlists that were filled with rap, rock and metal songs!!”
“my little mc? likes those songs? are you sure you’re not dreaming?”
“it’s a public playlist, i even followed her playlists”
“If you’re wrong, hyung, im really gonna fight you on this! bc I KNOW her first”
“doesn’t mean that you know her BETTER”
lots of petty bickerings
chan and jisung has a big revelation about mc that day at school
(there goes mc’s little rep within their group of friends)
he did warned them to not tell her that he told them about it and
that they actually are aware of her music taste
or else
she tried to rap really fast one time, trying to rap like how he does
he had to witness her biting her tongue live
changbin would never think someone like her would have
such a vulgar language
every profanity he knows came out of her mouth
he quickly got her something to soothe her wounded tongue
after fretting over her though, he started teasing her
relentlessly
she threatened to sue him
"I'll sue you"
"with what money?"
"my 2 fucking dollars lunch money!"
"that's not enough to pay anything, not even your attorney!"
"fight me!"
he’s that older brother figure that mc would come to whenever she has no one to tell her woes to
their relationship turned out to have lots of playful banters and teasings
he gives very comforting hugs and pats
mc doesn’t want to admit it tho
well, until, changbin caught her snuggling into his hugs one fine day
“admit it, you like them, you like my hugs”
“okay, fine, i DO like them, they’re great hugs, don’t let it go to your head.”
“I KNEW IT”
“You’re so loud, shut up, hyung!”
“OH MY GOD, YOU FINALLY ADMIT TO IT, IM GONNA TELL THE WORLD-KSDFNKSDNF-”
"FUCK- I SAID, SHUSH"
rip in peace, changbin
he didn’t expect someone like her would have so much strength to smother his mouth with her hand and shut it
the more you know
curiousity killed the cat????
---
hwang hyunjin
avoidance at all cost (pt.2) despite being in the same year
why? exhibit a: he's considered very attractive in her year and that her classmates n batch mates have crushes on him
coughs one of the school princes coughs
their batch year prince
she's really gonna swerve away from him
interactions will be kept at a bare minimum
one time hyunjin n some others wanted to borrow a textbook from their class because they have forgotten theirs n he chose hers
she could feel cold sweat forming as she feels the death stare of some of her classmates
that gta [wasted] sfx whenever ur character dies
yeah that's mc
that was probably the last time she would even think about it
when he returned it back to her, he smiled at her, the really cute eye smile and she felt like she made the target on her back bigger lol
goodbye mc you've lived a good life
your friends will definitely will play never gonna give you up during your funeral (it's a promise)
jokes aside
hyunjin would probably noticed the panicked look in her eyes and wondered why
since his friends like felix and...jisung...and seungmin are like on good terms with her
he probably wondered about it a lot
borderlines on overthinking since both felix and jisung are particularly close to her
so she should know that he’s friends with them
ever since that encounter, it would come across his head whenever he saw her hanging out freely with felix or jisung or both of them
or when he come across her in the hallways
sometimes he wants to greet her but it feels like it would scare her away
esp when she looks ready to run into the opposite direction
if he ever made eye contact with her
so his plan to befriend mc has started
tried to join into the trio hangout; jisung, felix and mc
mc never did protest his presence like at all
but does occasionally look stiff when he's near her
eventually shes comfortable enough with him
but not enough to actually hang out with him alone though
that thought kind of made him feel envious towards the other boys
and a little left out
as a teenager, he has too many emotions to handle so
jisung and felilx caught the idea and told him to let her
take her time because she kinda. shy. (???)
that didn't stop him from mulling over it tho sometimes
one day he found her waiting at the bus stop
it was in the evening, she was still in her school uniform
he was kinda on an errand run too
kinda didn’t want to sit on the same bench as her
afraid that she might run away
she noticed him standing there eventually albeit very anxiously and kinda awkward
a casual greeting slipped past her lips which shocked hyunjin to his very core
he splutters back a reply
“on an errand run, errand boy?"
"huh?"
“uh, um, pretend that i didn’t say anything.”
“right, sure, but may i sit next to you, the bus seemed to be late and my legs are kinda tired.”
“oh, uh, yeah, sure, but you didn’t have to ask, y’know?”
“well, didn’t wanna scare you off…"
“it’s nothing personal, if that’s what you’re worried about,” + “it’s just. didn’t wanna step on a landmine and the girls in our batch seemed to adore you a lot and me being close to you might set off the wrong signal…?”
“that’s absurd, you’re...being unreasonable..i mean, its none of their business-!”
“i know, im sorry, my bad, it’s not your fault either, it’s not anyone’s fault, to be honest.”
for a moment, he found her reasoning to be petty and unreasonable until it finally clicks inside her head, from her point of view when he really thought it through.
“...no wait, im sorry, i think, i kinda get why when i really thought about it.”
“yeah, it’s no biggie, don’t worry, im sorry too, we’ll both get over it”
“...um, we’re friends, right?”
“...i suppose so, if you dont mind, dummy.”
a giddy smile crossed his face while mc struggles to not stare at him looking so cute like that as she coughs into her hand, avoiding eye-contact
pretty boys have too much power in their hands
and she’s one of their fallen victims towards their charms
this isn’t fair for her heart
so when the bus arrived
they sat beside each other on the bus
hyunjin did most of the chattering while mc listens
he was so glad he cleared smth up with her
if she allows it, he would definitely tried to hug her
until he remembers that one time changbin told him he almost got punch in the face by her
when he tried doing it the first time and startled her
yeah no not now
maybe sometime in the near future, a long-awaited hug would be great
(if he was honest tho, he really wanted to cry when she told him the truth)
(it felt like a heartache)
but it’s okay now though
they’re friends now (somewhat) and that’s all that matters
---
[masterlist]
#ext's masterlist#skz x reader#stray kids x reader#skz#stray kids#skz x y/n#stray kids x y/n#bang chan x reader#chan x reader#minho x reader#lee know x reader#changbin x reader#hyunjin x reader#bang chan#lee know#lee minho#seo changbin#hwang hyunjin#skz imagines#skz scenarios#skz chan#skz minho#skz changbin#skz hyunjin#stray kids au#skz au#skz headcanons#stray kids headcanons#skz high school au#high school au
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Dig a Grave to Dig Out a Ghost - Chapter 16
Original Title: 挖坟挖出鬼
Genres: Drama, Horror, Mystery, Supernatural, Yaoi
This translation is based on multiple MTLs and my own limited knowledge of Chinese characters. If I have made any egregious mistakes, please let me know.
Chapter Index
Chapter 16 - Game
Ten minutes later, Lin Yan appeared on the stage awkwardly wearing a silver-grey robe with a small dragon pattern embroidered on it. All ten participants took their seats. Even the Professor File Folder put on a traditional teacher's outfit. The buzzing activity coming from the crowd made Lin Yan blush. It felt like he was sitting on pins and needles; it was uncomfortable no matter how he tried to adjust himself.
This whole situation felt like a melodrama between Liang Shanbo and Zhu Yingtai. He couldn't help but glance back at Xiao Yu several times. The only real ancient man in the audience was standing behind him with a frown. Looking at him with a serious stare, he pressed his hand against Lin Yan's shoulder, like he was trying to comfort him.
When he changed his clothes, he noticed that something was wrong with Xiao Yu, or maybe it was just everything that was wrong. In the dressing room, the ghost had wrapped himself around him and hugged him. He pushed and shoved the other around the narrow room, creasing his costume. Just as Lin Yan was about to start fighting back, Xiao Yu suddenly stopped tugging him around. He pulled him over to the mirror, put his chin on Lin Yan's shoulder and he stared at the person in the reflection. For the first time, his chaotic eyes seemed calm, even holding a quiet sadness.
The mirror surface swayed, like a droplet hitting a calm pool of water, waves rippling away from the center. Standing in the brass mirror was a young man standing with clear eyes, hands resting beside a cloud brocade waistband, and a face exuding pride. Lin Yan backed away in horror. He almost screamed. The person in the mirror wasn't him. Although he had the exact same face, life had done a number on him and he wouldn't be able to make an expression like that anymore.
The scent of agarwood incense in the room was intoxicating. The young man's eyes softened. The tall man in the traditional Chinese clothes adjusted his chin on his shoulder, raising his long eyebrows. His voice was slow and hoarse, as if he hadn't spoken in a long time: "I've been waiting for you for so long. . ."
Lin Yan's head snapped back to the mirror. He staggered forwards and leaned against the mirror. The person in front of him had hair as black as paint, and his mottled blood coat didn't match his eyes that seemed so sad and hopeless. . .
I have been waiting for you for a long time.
Lin Yan scrambled out of the dressing room.
"The break is over. Please quiet down and we'll get started with our next activity." The girl in the red jacket skirt read.
Lin Yan sat in the chair in a daze. The bright stage lights and the dark crowd in the audience made him feel like what just happened in the dressing room was a hallucination, and Xiao Yu was no different. Lin Yan looked back at him, panicked. Xiao Yu leaned down and held his trembling hand. On the table were a small whiteboard and a soft black marker. Xiao Yu motioned for him to pick it up and he moved his hand across the whiteboard: I'll help you.
Lin Yan was stunned and wrote out: Do you remember something?
Xiao Yu didn't seem to want to answer. He shook his head and let go of his hand. He still stood behind him holding onto Lin Yan's shoulder for support.
The audience quieted down, and bright white chasing lights hit the mahogany silk box on the centre of the stage. The red jacket skirt girl stepped forward to open the silk box, revealing the glass box within. The audience let out a few exclamations, and Lin Yan's eyes lit up. It was a beautiful moon flask with two handles. The maiden leaned against the tree art, the linework was meticulous, the enamel fully covered the flask, the piece was still intact, and the overall flask was in good condition.
This authentification wasn't difficult for a student studying cultural relics. Lin Yan carefully looked at the glaze texture and enamel of the flask's body. He wrote his answer on the whiteboard after double-checking that it was correct. When the time was up, the host walked past the square table and stopped when he reached the PSP guy, holding up her mic and asking: "You, what's your answer?"
The PSP guy’s whiteboard turned out to be empty. He was leaning on the table and his attention was focused on his game. When the host asked the second time, he raised his head as if he had just woken up. He glanced lazily around and sarcastically twitched the corners of his mouth into a smile. "It's genuine," he spat out. Then he brushed the host off and lowered his head to continue playing the game.
Lin Yan knew this guy was arrogant, but he didn't expect him to act this to everyone. The girl in the red jacket skirt was embarrassed by PSP's attitude. After putting a polite expression back on her face, she nodded and walked to the next student.
"Well. . . There were nine students who got the answer right, might as well switch it up for the last one." The audience let out a good laugh, and the boy three places down from Lin Yan grinned and left the stage. The professor briefly spoke about the flask. Lin Yan cleaned off the whiteboard and waited for the next question. His mind couldn't get over what he saw. He thought that most people wouldn't make a mistake on such a simple question. It seemed that the people on the stage were not as professional as they thought.
Professor File Folder also seemed a little disappointed. He took a sip from his stainless steel cup and turned his attention to the laptop, not knowing what he was looking at.
The brocade box in the center of the stage was swapped with a smaller one. After the mysterious sound effect, the box slowly opened. It was an ancient book. The host motioned everyone to take a closer look. Lin Yan stood in front of the glass box for a while and returned to his seat to write the next answer: "Genuine, the Southern Opera "White Rabbit" published in the Ming Dynasty, unearthed from the tomb of the Xuan family in Jiading."
He had seen this thing in the Shanghai Museum. Lin Yan thought, this lecture is like an antique appreciation meeting. No wonder it attracted so many people. After they all answered the question, another person left the stage amidst the applause and whistle of the audience, leaving another armchair free.
The questions were asked one by one, gradually getting more and more difficult. A fake yet elaborate sunflower gold hairpin inlaid with gemstones stumped three people, and then a bucket-colour fine-grained water chestnut bucket imitation with a "grinding" technique even had Lin Yan hesitate with his answer. After the authenticity of each item was announced, the professor simply added a few points on the piece, which could count as educating the audience on the topic. The seats were vacated one by one. When the eighth object was brought out, there were only two people left on the stage. Lin Yan glanced to the right, and it was the PSP guy who had toughed it out until the end.
He looked careless, but he didn't expect that he understood the field so well. Lin Yan put his cold palms on his face to cool down and took a long breath as he waited for the next question.
The red jacket skirt girl was holding a delicate paper box in her hand. Instead of showing it to the audience first, she walked over to Lin Yan and the PSP guy, signalling them to come forward. She opened the paper box and carefully took out a fan.
The ink on the front of the golden fan wasn't very visible; it wasn't well-preserved. The ribs of the fan were slightly damaged, and there are signs of water damage on the ink-painted mountains. With this kind of condition, it would be difficult to fetch a good price in a private auction if it wasn't made by a famous artist. But when the inscription on the face of the fan was exposed, Lin Yan and the PSP man couldn’t help but breathe a sigh of relief. On the front, a few lines of the unruly inscription were written on the fan: “Wildwater Bridge Road, The Village of Barren Chickens and Fallen Leaves. Returned to Hou Xidu, The Child Sweeps the Firewood Door." What surprised the two of them were the three small characters following the poem: by Tang Yin.
Lin Yan's heart sped up. If this was Tang Yin's authentic work, then the fan in front of him was worth at least 500,000 yuan. Wasn't he afraid of being robbed bringing such a valuable thing to school? Then a clear picture of the fan was shown on the big screen. As expected by Lin Yan, an exclamation sounded from the audience, and even the host's voice was drowned by the buzzing discussion.
Professor File Folder grew impatient and coughed into the loudspeaker to signal the audience to shift their attention back to the event.
Lin Yan carefully looked at the light brown fan in front of him. He couldn't help but take his time with his answer. Tang Yin's paintings were extremely difficult to distinguish in the field of calligraphy and painting. His style of painting changed throughout his pieces, and he rarely indicated the year on the paintings so it was difficult to guess the painting based on its creation year. Therefore, there were countless counterfeiters and imposters on the market. To be honest, judging this kind of work could only be based on the painting style, date and seal inscription. The most important thing is the eye and inspiration of the connoisseur. Being extremely familiar with the author’s style, the first time he saw the work, he could only make a guess. This wasn't just an answer determined by years of study, but it was also just a luck-based gamble.
In the early years of the founding of the People’s Republic of China, many collectors relied on this ability to make money at auctions overnight, but it was too difficult for students like Lin Yan who hadn’t even finished school. He frowned and thought carefully. Regardless of the painting style, the date and the handwriting of this fan were almost flawless. Although there was a slight deviation from Tang Yin's other landscape paintings, the vigorous and unrestrained spirit of the brush strokes clearly distinguished this piece.
It should be the original one. . . Lin Yan bit on his pen and hesitated. Halfway through writing out his answer, his wrist was suddenly grabbed. Xiao Yu bent down and studied the fan carefully. His fingers lightly tracing the red seal and he seemed surprised. He shook his head at Lin Yan and crossed off the half-written "true" on the whiteboard with his hand.
"After so long, you still haven't figured it out?" PSP guy leaned over to Lin Yan casually with a disdainful expression. Seeing Lin Yan still holding the pen hesitantly, he couldn't help but sneer, "I thought you were so awesome."
The file folder-like professor was staring at his notebook in a daze. Hearing these words, he couldn't help turn his head around and looked at the two with interest. Lin Yan just focused his attention on the painting instead and had forgotten to be nervous. As soon as he raised his head to meet the professor's gaze, his cheeks became hot again. He couldn't help but cry inside. He originally planned to wait for the end of the event to ask the professor backstage regardless of whoever won the contest. Now he feels like he wouldn't be able to ask him anything if he lost to this guy in this activity.
"Hurry up, hurry up." PSP guy tapped the table with a pen and made some muffled noises. "Just go home already, you aren't qualified for this."
When the professor heard this, he couldn't hide his amusement and turned his face to take a sip of water to cover up his expression.
That was rude. He hadn't finished yet. Lin Yan clenched his fist and asked Xiao Yu as quietly as possible: "Are you sure?" Xiao Yu nodded, his pale fingers stroked his throat, and frowned. After a long time, it seemed that it took a lot of effort to say slowly and hoarsely: ". . . I drew it."
Lin Yan's eyes widened. He looked at Xiao Yu in disbelief, and then at the fan. In ancient times, there was no perfect reprinting technology. Famous paintings and calligraphy were often copied by literati and calligraphers. Some were for practice, some were to give to friends. Some were for selling, and the prices of those high-quality copies were even comparable to the originals. But Xiao Yu's counterfeit actually appeared here. . . Wasn't this too much of a coincidence?
"Dude, if you don't know what it is, stop wasting our time." Seeing Lin Yan's hesitation, the PSP guy shook his head impatiently. He lowered his head and continued to play his game, pressing the buttons with his thumb, clicking them loudly.
Lin Yan was also irritated but by this person's attitude. He took a deep breath and wrote his answer on the whiteboard. The crowd in the audience couldn't wait. The people in the nearby seats pointed at the PowerPoint. Someone nodded gently, seeming to recognize the authenticity of the painting.
The sound effect of a gong sounded, and when the host read out the answers of the two, Lin Yan heard a commotion in the audience and even a disdainful sneer from the corner of the room. However, the PSP guy completely ignored the audience’s reaction and crossed his legs. He glanced at Lin Yan, touched the pimples on his face and raised an eyebrow with a chuckle: "You're right, not bad."
The same answer was written on both whiteboards: fake.
The professor showed an appreciative smile on his face for the first time. After he said the right answer, he grabbed the microphone and explained to the audience: "Tang Yin's fan "Xiqiao Going Back to the River", a work made during the Ming Dynasty Chenghua period. The author is unknown. The two students answered correctly."
There was a sigh from the auditorium. This time, most of the people who had thought they were right about their guess couldn't help pointing at the screen to discuss the flaws in the fan. There was even a school official wearing a black suit in the front row who had turned around and argued fiercely with the guests in the back row.
Author unknown? Lin Yan wasn't focusing on the fan, instead looking back at Xiao Yu. His hands still rested on his shoulder, but he didn't respond to anything Professor File Folder was saying. Instead, he frowned as if immersed in memory. He seemed really lost in thought. Lin Yan looked into Xiao Yu's eyes, no longer as wild as a beast like when he first saw him. Now, his dark eyes were like the surface of the river after sunrise, and the turbid fog was slowly burned away in the sun, revealing a hint of clarity from within the chaos.
"Now that the first nine rounds are over, please give your attention to the last round with these two classmates, which is also the most difficult round today." The red jacket skirt girl raised her voice and signalled to something behind her.
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Finally Following Through On Explaining That MP100 Lumity AU
Aight so a few days ago I promised to describe the basic layout for this Mob Psycho 100 Lumity AU I’ve been thinking about. This is that.
A marginal bit of context up front. You don’t need to have watched MP100 in order to understand any of the things I’m about to say, but I do recommend watching it anyway because it’s a wonderful show and an absolutely essential experience. Anyway, for those who haven’t watched MP100 this is all the context you need, for those who have you can just skip to the next paragraph. All y’all need to know is that MP100 features people called espers and they all have these vaguely defined "psychic powers." The actual abilities tied to these powers vary from person to person, some people just have telekinesis, some people have special moves and abilities they've trained, there are people with fire, people who are really fast, a dude who's psychically reinforced a plastic sword to be infinitely sharp and durable, just, loads of stuff. All espers have the ability to see spirits, which are, ya know, the spirits of people who have died, though the level at which their humanity is still intact varies. As a general rule the more powerful you were in life (particularly in the psychic capacity) the more powerful your spirit is. Aight now to the actual stuff.
We’re gonna start with the Blight family cause they were the first people I really got figured out for this thing so it’s just fitting. The Blight family has had at least one powerful esper per generation as far back as anyone can remember. They're an overwhelming presence in the esper community of the city they live in, though most people without psychic powers aren't really aware of their existence, as the Blights have always viewed themselves as above regular humans. For this reason a long time ago the Blight family gathered with a group of other powerful esper families to found a school exclusively for young espers so their children would not have to associated with "the ungifted." In the time since the family has relinquished a good deal of its hold over the school, having deemed directly running it a waste of their resources, as long it sticks around they don't really care. That being said they still hold a large amount of authority in the community.
Edric and Emira are both naturally gifted espers who've never had trouble demonstrating their powers and the 'superiority over the rest of the humans' that their parents desired. The only setback they've faced is that they trained and developed their powers together a bit too much. See, Edric has trained his whole life in using his psychic powers to create projections aka illusions, and Emira has power-based abilities, in which she can give Edric's illusions the full force of their imagined attacks. Separately neither of them can make or do anything worthwhile but together they're top students. Fortunately they've been able to hide that drawback from everybody so far.
Amity, on the other hand, has never displayed any sign of even the potential for psychic powers. Her parents consider her to be both a failure to the entire family and their greatest embarrassment. That didn't stop them from enrolling her in a school exclusively for people with psychic powers though, cause they would much rather force Amity to find some way to lie and cheat around her entire life than reveal to the world they have a talentless daughter. They force Amity to become friends with children of their choosing, who will help her cover up her 'failure' and they assign Ed and Em to watch out for her and make sure she doesn't 'destroy the Blight family name.'
That’s about all the background for her thing, and I’ll get to what Luz is up to in a moment, but first I’m gonna make a momentary stop to talk about Willow (and kind of Gus). Willow is also an esper, though she honestly would rather not be. She enjoys the affinity with plants that she's built up over the years but she'd trade it in a heartbeat if it meant she would get to go back to normal school instead of this fancy esper school with all these stuck up superpowered narcist teenagers who hate her. The only reason she even goes anymore is because she doesn't want to disappoint her parents, who were just so proud of her when her powers developed. Though one day she did ditch school to go visit a normal high school, just to see what it was like. There she met Gus, who happened to be the only member of a fanclub for espers, on account of everyone else in the school doesn't believe in espers and think he's crazy. Well, there was this other girl but... She’s not around anymore. Anyway so Willow befriends Gus and shows him some of her plant affinity thing and he thinks it's amazing, and Willow has a pretty terrible lack of people her age who think anything she does is remotely notable, much less amazing, so she and Gus develop a friendship pretty quickly.
Aight, now finally onto the main event, Luz and Lumity. So Spotlight on our girl Luz, who just so happens to be a spirit at the moment. I'm not sure what actually happened to her to, ya know, unalive her, but it sure did happen. Still, she managed to hold on to the world long enough to form as a spirit, just through sheer willpower and certainty that she wasn't done yet. Essentially she dies and starts to drift off but like right before everything fades to black she just like, jolts back up like 'hey no absolutely not I had dreams and a family and there is so much going on here that I am going to see and do and nobody can stop me.' And, as Luz do, she decides to focus on the positive bits of this instead.
See, cause back when she was alive our girl happened to be something of an esper enthusiast. And the thing about being a huge nerd about espers is that she managed to do some digging on the notable espers of the area. So, naturally, she found out about the Blight family. And she just so happened to find out about Amity specifically while she was at it, and perhaps she had discovered this information about a girl her age belonging to the most important esper family of the city and decided that this girl would be her rival in the field of becoming the best esper she could be, despite, admittedly, not knowing how to make the esper part even happen in the first place.
So, now with a spirit body not bound by the laws of physics and other such inconvenient matters, she searches out the Blight manor, intent on finding Amity, this whole preconceived notion in her head about how this is all going to go, some fanficitony plot unfolding in her imagination about how once they were bitter rivals but now Luz will have to convince her to work with her so she can achieve her dream still.
But when she gets to the manor she finds it warded against spirits. Not to be deterred, she waits outside the gates for Amity and latches onto her backpack, waiting for a good time to reveal herself to Amity, though she questions a bit why the girl doesn't see her in the first place. She hides with Amity all day, surviving a whole day in a school full of espers who could exorcise her with a flick of their finger, solely because she was with The Amity Blight, and anyone who noticed her energy just assumed Amity knew what she was doing and left her alone. The drawback to this, though, was that Luz kinda got directly smacked in the face by her preconceived notions of what Amity would be like, and while initially she had intended to reveal herself to Amity in order to ask for help, after seeing her be rude and pretentious to literally everyone all day she instead reveals herself to basically just yell at Amity and get really mad. Fortunately for Amity she's not an esper so she can't see spirits anyway.
Except the thing is. She's walking home by herself, like she always does, and then she starts to hear this whispering coming from nowhere, getting louder and louder, until eventually she just hears someone yell her name out of nowhere. See, Amity had never seen a spirit before, but also, a spirit had never gone out of its way to appear to her before. Essentially Luz accidentally reached out to her and lit the spark of her dormant psychic powers (everyone has at least some level of psychic powers sleeping within them it's kind of a whole thing). So Amity spends the entire time Luz is yelling at her just, staring open mouthed at this spirit that appeared for her out of nowhere after 14 years of hell. She doesn't even acknowledge any of the stuff Luz said about her, she was far too overwhelmed by just the fact that after being a failure her whole life she suddenly wasn't, at least, not entirely.
Luz eventually notices that she is getting far from the anticipated reaction and she quiets down. At that point the two talk things out and, while Luz is still seriously disappointed in the person Amity turned out to be, she doesn't have any better ideas of who to talk to, she kind of needs someone to be her communication piece to the real world at this point, and Amity finally has something she can use to actually do things with her 'psychic powers.' Cause they've been awakened now, yeah, but she quickly realizes she can see Luz and Only Luz. So the two of them begrudgingly work together, each kind of starting off mutually aware that they're just using the other for their own goals, and being perfectly okay with that.
So that's the general relationship dynamic between the two of them at the start, and eventually they get to know each other better. Amity stops viewing Luz as a spirit and starts learning more about the person she was before she died. (Amity just calls her "spirit" for like, at least the first week. The first time she uses Luz' name is a whole thing). Meanwhile Luz learns more about what Amity's life is like behind the scenes and everything that's happened to her.
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Harry Potter and the False Double Standards
You know, I hate to get involved in Fandom Discourse or anything, but I’m getting really sick of reading people’s takes bashing Harry, Ron, and Hermione because of various actions throughout the series, and the latest is someone claiming the fandom is judging poor little Draco unfairly and calling him evil because he didn’t like Harry Potter when the trio were actually just as bad.
Okay, I’m legitimately pissed about this one because of how ridiculously far off the mark it is. Let’s tally their main sketchy actions throughout the series, shall we? Long wall of text ahead. In this essay I will
Harry and co, year 1: Assorted sneaking out at night, mostly looking for information or to try to stop a mass murderer from returning to life. One count of dragon-smuggling… for the purpose of putting that dragon in the hands of a professional dragon-tamer who was equipped to care for it properly. Hermione lit a teacher’s robes on fire… during a Quidditch Match where Harry’s life was in imminent danger due to a broom that was very obviously being jinxed and said teacher, who had a history of abusive conduct towards Harry, was very obviously doing some sort of magic targeted at Harry. Hermione also hexed Neville, which is way more questionable, but again the trio had a reasonable belief that Snape, who at the time they still had good reason to believe tried to murder Harry, was trying to bring another person who had tried to murder Harry and successfully murdered his parents and many many other innocent people, from returning to life. I’m putting the blame for this squarely on the entire Hogwarts staff, especially Dumbledore, for never communicating with the three 11–12 year old children, who had already been put in a life-or-death emergency just two months into term (troll incident), at ALL about someone trying to murder Harry. Snape’s role in the order had to be kept secret, I know, but Dumbledore literally just let Harry and his friends believe that a person in a position of supposed trust and authority had tried to murder him and that no one was going to believe him or do anything to protect him.
Draco, year 1: Tries to befriend Harry, is told to fuck off because he can’t go five minutes without being a classist asshole. Proceeds to be a complete asshole to… it sounds like pretty much every Gryffindor in his year, special mention to bullying other students for poverty (Ron) and possibly having a learning disability (Neville).
Harry and co, year 2: Harry and Ron start the term with the admittedly extremely stupid and irresponsible theft of a car. There was kind of a precedent set when said car had to be used to literally break Harry out of his abusive relatives’ home because he was being imprisoned and nearly starved. Next comes the big incident everyone loves to rag on the trio, especially Hermione, for: stealing potions supplies and tricking a “teacher” (airquotes because it’s Lockhart) to make a restricted potion to spy on other students… to investigate a series of racially targeted murder attempts against other students, and a group that Hermione’s part of.
Draco, year 2: Steps up his bullying to throwing around racial slurs. Turns out not to be behind the attacks, but he was cheering them on. When he had a sympathetic audience he was saying he hoped his schoolmates would be murdered.
Harry and Co, year 3: Assorted petty sneaking around, physically attacked a teacher… who was about to kill a potentially innocent person. Used a time travel device in a questionable way to save an innocent person and animal from being killed.
Draco, year 3: Intentionally disobeyed a teacher’s safety instructions, got hurt, milked his injury to try to get the teacher fired because Draco was racist against said teacher.
Harry and Co, year 4: Don’t remember anything particularly irresponsible they did… oh, I guess Hermione imprisoning and sort of blackmailing Rita Skeeter into... stopping slandering her and Harry.
Draco, year 4: Vocally supported the racist hate group attacking a sporting event and assaulting people, vocally hoped for Hermione to be sexually assaulted. Proceeded to spend half the year helping slander Harry and Hermione, tried to suckerpunch him with an unknown spell, and in the immediate aftermath of the return of a mass murder and one of his schoolmates dying, again vocally supported the terrorist group and mocked his fellow student’s death. This was literally the equivalent of a school shooting.
Harry and Co, year 5: Started a secret club to teach students to fight because the DADA “teacher” was literally refusing to do her job, the government was covering up the fact that there was about to be a war and literally torturing Harry and trying to have him assassinated for speaking out. The trio were also at this point semi-inducted into the grown-ups’ secret resistance organization. This cannot be emphasized enough. Marietta Edgecomb wasn’t a normal schoolkid ratting troublemakers out to the teacher situation. Umbridge was dangerous. Hermione should probably have warned people that they’d be hit with a massive fucking curse if they betrayed the DA, and made it a little bit clearer that this wasn’t some fun after-school club and ratting them out to the enemy wouldn’t end well, but fundamentally the curse was a result of Hermione treating a situation that was really on the boundary between a school and a war zone at that point like an actual war, and branding a traitor as a traitor.
Malfoy, year 5: Is somehow made a prefect, proceeds to abuse his power against younger students. Also cozies up to Umbridge, and ramps his classist bullying against Ron WAY up when he makes the Quidditch team.
Harry and Co, year 6: Harry panicked and used an unknown spell marked “for enemies” in self-defense against a death eater who was attempting to use an unforgivable curse on him. Note: Malfoy had already started the year by curbstomping a paralyzed Harry and throwing the invisibility cloak over him so he wouldn’t be found. Malfoy came damn close to murdering him by causing him to choke on his own blood. Harry also knows exactly what the Cruciatus Curse does. I wouldn’t have judged Harry even if he did know what Sectumsempra did.
Malfoy, year 6: Again, Malfoy’s little nosebreaking stunt could EASILY have been fatal. He left someone who was paralyzed and unable to move lying on the ground, bleeding heavily in his fucking airway, and actively hid him from view to prevent him from being seen and receiving medical attention. Harry is expected to have figured out what Sectumsempra does from the Latin, but I guess nobody expects Draco to be aware of, like... Step 1 of first aid for someone who’s unconscious being turning them on their side for this exact reason. Anyway following this, Malfoy has at this point kind of been roped into trying to murder Dumbledore, and in fairness he gets cold feet once he’s actually expected to help commit the Death Eaters’ atrocities instead of just being in the cheerleading squad, and it seems like he might have changed.
Anyway, getting to my point: Is Draco Malfoy a product of his environment? Yes. Is his portrayal somewhat biased because the books are from Harry’s perspective and... no, NOT because Harry hates Draco, because Harry only really pays attention to Draco when he’s being an asshole, which seems to be every single time they actually interact.
But you can’t say he wasn’t a terrible person throughout the events of the series. Maybe he changed afterwards, but there’s not really much shown of it other than him becoming a functional adult and being somewhat civil towards his former enemies. Which I guess isn’t that different from James and Sirius. But even they were... they were total assholes, but again, Malfoy was a racist who was vocally cheering on murder attempts and later an actual murder of his schoolmates. That’s at another fucking level.
And there’s also a MASSIVE difference between their actions. Prior to sixth year, there’s a very clear pattern. Harry, Ron, and Hermione frequently break the rules and do things that are stupid, irresponsible, and occasionally hurt people, while trying to protect themselves, their loved ones, or other innocent people. And while the effects of the traumatic events they’ve been through aren’t always that obvious, I really do think events like that very first Quidditch match had a serious long-term psychological impact: their ability to fully trust adults and authority figures to have their backs or even look out for their physical safety was severely damaged from their very first term at Hogwarts. Malfoy hurt people, intentionally, for his own amusement from the very first term. Not to mention that he was almost always “punching down.” Prior to Sixth Year, pretty much every single person he targeted was based on institutional power dynamics: Ron was poor, Hermione was Muggle-born, Neville was possibly disabled (and it turns out actually insecure due to being abused), and the one person in any position of power over him he really started shit with, Hagrid, was subject to institutional discrimination for being a half-giant and Malfoy used his rich family’s influence against him. Again, as opposed to Harry and Co who most of the time were actively defending themselves or fighting back against their abusers, and the only real power dynamic that you can really say they had working in their favor was Harry and Hermione being scarily good at the kinds of magic that can fuck people up compared to any of their social peers.
But you know what? There is one similarity between them: things only escalated to the level that they did because every single supposedly competent teacher at Hogwarts (i.e. not Snape or every single DADA teacher except Lupin) didn’t do their fucking jobs.
In the trio’s case, by (a) not doing jackshit about Snape’s behavior, and (b) keeping the kids in the dark and not even bothering to come up with a plausible cover story for them and just letting them think a teacher had tried to murder Harry and nobody was doing a single goddamn thing about it. Harry. The kid who already had serious issues with trusting authority figures because of the horrific emotional abuse he was subjected to since infancy which the multiple Order members in Hogwarts Staff had also been completely negligent about. And, y’know, Hermione, who was nearly killed by a troll her first year and saved not by a teacher but by her fellow first-years, then nearly killed by a basilisk her second year after several months of the staff failing to figure out the string of hate crimes against muggle-borns like her, and only surviving because she, the second-year starting from a massive disadvantage in terms of general cultural knowledge of things in the wizarding world, was the only one who did the research and figured out what the monster was, and only survived because she came up with looking around every goddamn corner with a mirror. And Ron, whose sister was possessed, kidnapped, and nearly killed, and the only adult who was supposedly “helping” him and Harry tried to put him into a vegetative state and only failed because of Ron’s shitty broken wand (which had been causing problems all year and the same staff that bought Harry a top-of-the-line broomstick last year spent the entire term doing absolutely nothing about the fact that one of their students was failing due to having to use a wand that was literally taped back together). How the fuck was it surprising to anyone when these teenagers continued to take matters into their own hands in increasingly dangerous ways?
In Malfoy’s case, because his bullshit should’ve been nipped in the bud way, WAY earlier. He should not have had the opportunity to do any of the shit he did in Year 6 because he should have been expelled long before that instead of the teachers letting him bully and abuse other students and basically do the equivalent of having a Hitler poster in his dormitory for five years.
#not whump#fandom discourse#rant#Harry Potter#Hogwarts teachers are all incompetent#wizarding culture is toxic
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I Let You Decide - Park Jisung
~REQUESTED~
“I wish I never did it. I swear”
‘You can’t let someone else determine your worth.’
You are you for a reason. You were placed on this planet with a purpose. Often times, as humans, we fail to understand the following concept: we are worth it. We tend to let others take the lead on determining our value; we allow them to decide who we are. We are never fully able to see how extraordinary we are. So we believe the words we hear. We fall victim to the critics, the assholes, and the liars. We let them tell us who we are. And we wait for them to announce that we are worth it.
~
Your bed had been decorated in papers, books, and pens. You resided in the middle of the chaos, wearily hunched over a textbook. To paint a picture, the scenery was dark around you, every aspect of it. The outside world was swallowed in night, too shadowed for the glow of stars, and too gloomy to keep you awake. You always found yourself in the same scenario, and every day began to feel like a loop.
‘You should have started this last week y/n,’ you thought to yourself as you wildly flipped through your textbook. The words on the page seemed to swirl and throw themselves at you. Each letter was visible, yet they refused to form cohesive sentences. Your English paper was due the next day and up until this point, you had not even begun to select a passage to base your paper off of. With the amount of energy you had left, nothing was making sense anymore. It felt like nothing was successfully able to hold your attention for more than a minute. Your mind was wandering and your eyelids were sinking, suddenly pushing you into a place away from crumpled papers and complex words.
Beep
Your body jolted, forcing your eyes open and pulling you out of your zombified state. You rubbed your eyes, lazily scanning your bed for the source of the noise. You tilted your head when your eyes met the glow of a screen. Your phone. Who could possibly be texting you at this hour?
Unknown: ‘Hey’
The number wasn’t in your contacts. You instantly began racking your brain, trying to guess who you might have given your number to. Right as you decided you were going to respond, they sent another message that almost made you jump at the sight of it.
Unknown: ‘You know I think you’re really cute’
“You know I think you’re really cute? Huh?” You read the words aloud, in utter disbelief. “Who the hell is this?” you mumbled while staring at the keyboard. You had to respond and began to quickly type, your fingers dancing across the keyboard. You had to know who this was.
‘im sorry, who is this?’
Unknown: ‘You don’t know? Maybe it’s better we keep it this way’
Unknown: ‘I just wanted to talk to you, beautiful ;)’
“What?” you whispered, staring at the messages that caught your attention in the middle of the night. The compliments were compelling. No one has ever said these things directly to you before. You moved your eyes from the phone screen to the mirror on the wall across from your bed.
The light in your room was dim, but was just enough to illuminate your features for you to see. You studied your face and then dropped your eyes back to a new message.
Unknown: ‘I could look at you all day long’
You laughed quietly to yourself. A large part of you was confused and honestly, almost annoyed. The remaining amount of attention you so desperately needed was pulled entirely from your essay to a mystery author text conversation. How childish… but you did want to know who was behind it. It was in your rights to know, right? Though slowly, your concern seemed to dissipate as you found yourself slightly blushing. A faint wave of confidence had overtaken you. You placed a hand to your face, warm from the blood rushing to your face, and softly smiled, lost in wonder.
-
You never found out who it was that night, and though you told yourself it wasn’t that important, the question endlessly circled your mind the next day. Due to your newfound confidence from the messages, you found yourself feeling slightly renewed. You walked through the halls of your school looking at everyone slightly differently than you had before. Everyone became a potential candidate for being your secret admirer.
‘Maybe it’s him? No, that wouldn’t make sense.’
‘Oh, wait may- nope, probably not him either.’
While you were consciously assessing others differently, you couldn’t help but feel like people were doing the same to you. Concluding you were likely just being paranoid, you scrapped the idea and placed your focus elsewhere. The most important thing was solely planning for an excuse to give your English teacher about why the only thing completed in your essay is your header. The question about who was texting you last night? That could be put on hold for a few hours.
-
You sat alone at your lunch table. You hated waiting for your friends to come back from the ordering food. Sitting by yourself always make you feel so vulnerable, like everyone was looking only at you. But what was the alternative? The lunch ladies had a habit of yelling at people who were in line without getting anything. You buried your face into your phone hoping to avoid any attention from being drawn to your lonely presence and also to distract yourself from the thought of it. You were beginning to flip through the messages that were sent to you last night when you were interrupted by a low voice.
“Uh, hey.”
You looked up, immediately turning off your phone.
‘When had he gotten there? I didn’t even notice him sit down.’
“Hi Jisung?” You spoke it more like a question more than a greeting. You knew Jisung. He was in a couple of your classes, but you two weren’t exactly friends. He always had a slight awkwardness to him. Though he was friends with some of the loudest and rudest boys, he failed to share some of the qualities they did.
He was sitting across from you, but struggled to make eye contact. With one final glance at the table, he looked up to your face and continued, “Hi um did you get my texts last night?”
‘No way. There is absolutely no way.’
A siren went off in your mind as you fumbled through reasons on how this could be possible. He barely knew you, how could he say any of the things he said?
“Oh. So that was you. I did, actually. Well, thank you it was real-”
“Yeah uh, well I wanted to know if you wanted to go out with me maybe after school today?” He sounded rushed and robotic, almost like reading lines from a script. It felt unnatural and wrong, but you didn’t notice it then. You felt caught up in what the words were that left his mouth, not how they left.
You had never been asked out before. You always found yourself steering away from ‘relationships’ and always took on the role of the ‘good friend.’ This was new to you, and you weren’t opposed. The siren going off within you was blaring, and you wondered if Jisung could hear it.
“Sure.” As the words left your mouth you observed him wince slightly to himself. The action was minimal enough to go unnoticed, so when a smile covered his as he looked at you, you thought you might have imagined it. He was cute, he really was. You noticed the way his eyes lit up along with his whole face, you liked that.
“Cool, I’ll see you later.”
Jisung then walked back to his table with his head low. The boys erupted into laughter as he sat down in his seat, one slapping him roughly on the back. The table was zoo-like, the boys teasing Jisung throughout the rest of the period, occasionally throwing a look in your direction.
You directed your view back to your phone and sifted through the messages once again. Putting a face to your ‘admirer’ was strange, but it satisfied your burning night-long curiosity. You were fueled by a new high and were so focused on how good you felt that you forgot to think logically. The question of ‘why?’ started to lose importance. You had your suspicions about the sudden turn of events, no doubt, but you were going on a date with Park Jisung. ‘Why?’ didn’t matter.
-
He planned to meet you at a popular restaurant that you’ve been to a couple of times before. And thankfully, that meant that you wouldn’t have to take a while to figure out what you’d like to eat. It was set for six o’clock, which wasn’t the smartest idea, but you weren’t going to object. The place got extremely crowded during the evening hours of the day. It was always filled with hungry students, busy moms, and sharply dressed people in blazers who were just getting out of work. The crowd was diverse, but they all shared one similar feeling, hunger.
Your emotions felt inconsistent throughout the rest of the day. One moment you were basking in excitement, and the next you were falling into a pile of worries and anxieties about the date. It was all you could think about, your mind was clouded.
You sat in front of your bedroom mirror that evening, your hand shaking slightly while glazing your lashes with a, hopefully, even coat of mascara. You knew it wasn’t a formal event, you knew it was ‘no big deal,’ but regardless, you wanted to look nice. As you watched yourself, the sweet words from Jisung poured into your mind. You found yourself smiling, not only outwardly, but every part of your body felt like it was smiling as well.
-
You pulled up to the shop a few minutes late. As you made your way down the sidewalk, you could feel the blood rushing to your ears and face. Nerves. They always found you in situations like this. You always seemed to be slipping into your own thoughts and your excitement was slowly melting into worry. Though you decided it walk going to be ok. He wanted you there. He asked you. As you pushed open the door to the restaurant you calmed down a bit.
‘You’ve already made it this far.’
Once you were in, your eyes immediately scanned the place.
‘Where is he?’
You made your way further in, finding an empty table to sit at. Before sitting down you surveyed the place one last time, searching for his smiling eyes. You didn’t see them anywhere.
‘He’s probably running late, I mean, I’ve done that countless times before. It happens to everyone.’
Furrowing your brows, you plopped down into the seat you had chosen. You flipped through your phone for a couple of minutes, constantly glancing at the time.
[6:10 P.M.]
You looked up from your phone at the noise of the door opening. You felt your heart in your throat, thinking maybe it was him. Just as it began to rise, you felt it plummet to the depths of your stomach. It was a couple. You sighed heavily, resting your chin onto your hand. The table you chose faced the window, allowing you to view the street. You found yourself absorbed in watching the cars passing by. You were being stood up, right? You had to be getting stood up.
‘Don’t think that. Not yet, at least.’
You shook yourself out of your trance and looked back at your phone. If you didn’t distract yourself, there was no doubt you’d overthink this.
[6:35 P.M.]
You began tapping the table with your fingers and letting your ears fill with the noise of conversation that wasn’t yours. The seat in front of you remained unoccupied as you stared at it, realizing something to only sadden you further. Every other table for two was filled. Whether family, friends, business acquaintances, or couples, everyone had someone. Somehow, on that specific night, the rest of the world had company. It felt like the universe was mocking you. You let your eyes fall back upon the empty seat. Maybe you were the only one alone that night, but not by choice.
‘He’s not coming.’
You knew that, but you so desperately wanted to be wrong. You wanted to see him come in and tell you that something terrible had happened and there was no possible way he was going to make it on time. That his phone was smashed and he couldn’t even tell you why he was going to be late to begin with. You just wanted validation that someone finally appreciated you and confirmation that whatever the reason for him not showing up was, you weren’t the issue.
With that, you pulled out your phone for the last time.
[7:50 P.M.]
“You know, why am I even waiting anymore?” you mumbled, hastily throwing a tip down for being allowed to stay that long without ordering anything, standing up, and walking out the door. You wanted to hear that someone was coming. You wanted to see that someone actually cared, even if it wasn’t Jisung.
But you didn’t see anything once you were outside. The air that met you was cold and dark. The world became unwelcoming, as if it didn’t want you. As if no one did.
Your face burned with embarrassment and stung with tears.
‘Am I really that pathetic?’
-
“Yeah uh, well I wanted to know if you wanted to go out with me maybe after school today?”
“No. Why didn’t you say no?” you spoke aloud to yourself as you lay face up on your bed. You thought back to lunch, being reminded of the laughing coming from his table. There was only answer that made sense. It was a joke, and you had fallen for it.
You wanted to move on. Reminding yourself that no one had to know you ever went. Convincing yourself that whatever happened tonight was his fault, not yours. Telling yourself that none of this is even going to matter after a while. And deep down, you probably believed those things.
But you couldn’t fight the fact that at that moment, it still really hurt your pride.
‘Why did he choose me to fool? Do I look easy or weak? Is it because I seem desperate? How many people know about this? Am I being laughed at? Was any of this genuine? Is this what the world thinks of me?’
You were lost in your thoughts and drowning in embarrassment.
‘He didn’t even show up. How could he not show up? I’d rather he’d shown up and tell me there that it was all a big insensitive prank than to leave me like this. At least I would have answers.’
Your vision began to cloud as it quickly welled up with a fresh set of tears. As you let your eyes close you could feel the tears stream down the sides of your face. You weren’t audibly crying, but maybe your body needed to cry, whether you felt like it or not.
Your thoughts were fuzzy and blurry as you drifted off to sleep that night. And strangely enough, there was only one thing managed to remain clear.
An empty black seat.
-
It’s funny how our minds work. They make us think things, and feel things that no longer exist, or perhaps never existed in the first place.
You fell victim to the unconscious workings of your mind that very night. It occurred when you suddenly decided that everyone thought of you like some big joke. Though the evidence was remarkably slim, as only one event transpired which supported your thesis, you couldn’t void the idea.
And come morning, you had subconsciously clutched to those feelings while you slept. Once at school, it felt as if everyone around you knew what happened, like there was a sign taped to your back that read ‘I was stood up.’ A few times you turned around to check if people were staring at, but no one ever was, of course they weren’t. There was no sign on your back.
You stared at your feet as you walked, noticing a stain of mud on your white shoes. You were searching your brain for when you could have possibly been walking in mud when you felt someone bump into you.
“Oh I’m sor-” you quickly stopped your sentence. You failed to piece together the rest of your sentence as Jisung rushed past you, his vision desperately aimed away from your face.
‘So now he’s coward?’
You dropped your head again, forcing down your heart which had made it way to your throat at the sight of his face. But within seconds of your social silence, a deep voice broke through the noisy hallway.
“Hey y/n!” You turned around. “Enjoy your date night?”
It was one of Jisungs friends, one of the loud ones. He smiled and began to walk next to you.
“Sorry?”
He rolled eyes, “It was a dare y/n.”
‘Of course it was a dare.’
You expected it by now, sure, but hearing him confirm your thoughts still pierced you. Each word felt like a slap across the face. You didn’t want him to know you felt that. So what you said next was a lie, a complete lie.
“I knew that from the start.” Your mouth drew a straight line as you forced composure and before he could see you break, you quickly walked away. The boy was confused for a moment, but he then called after you with a lucky guess.
“Oh come on, don’t tell me you actually went!”
You wished you could say you didn’t, but that would have been your second lie.
-
You pushed your way into the bathroom, thankful to find it empty. You placed yourself in front of the last sink and looked up.
The mirror was cracked in the corner and slightly foggy, but it still served its purpose. You then found yourself staring in the eyes of someone. Someone who looked sad and you wondered, why? Most people would probably be able to brush this off, right? Why was she unable to. Maybe it was because she had actually liked Jisung and before she could even take her chance, it became clear he didn’t feel the same. You began to then wonder why he didn’t.
You searched your face and body, noting every flaw. They seemed to jump out at you as if they had been circled with a marker. Maybe you were just a joke.
You stood before that mirror as you had done last night. From them until that moment, you looked the same and you were the same, aside from one change. How you felt. How you felt was not determined by yourself. No, how you felt now was a result of how he made you feel.
Isn’t it remarkable, what our minds can do? The way they can distort things? Your image became an ink blot, its appearance determined not by facts but by feelings. How? How can others become so powerful to us that we let them determine what we view?
You took your eyes away from the mirror and pressed your face into your hands.
Your eyes are useless when the mind is blind.
-
You decided to get away from the crowd during lunch and put your focus into your essay. You had never finished it, but your teacher decided she would let you submit it late for at least half credit. Placing yourself at a table in the corner of the library, you began working.
A joke.
You could almost see all of the boys laughing at you as you wrote. But you ignored it and pushed on, letting your pen drag quickly across the lines. You lost track of time as you let all your energy flow into your work. You felt closed off from the world as you sat there, in your own space.
Until your space was invaded.
“I didn’t want to do it.”
You looked up, only to meet eyes with him. With Jisung. You wondered what compelled him to sit there. To remove himself from his friends and come find you. You wondered. Though through questioning, a sudden thought fell upon you. He was there, before you, filling the space.
The empty seat was no longer vacant, but rather occupied by him.
“I’m sorry y/n.”
~
a/n: I truly would like to apologize for taking so long to publish this work. Thank you for being so kind and supportive during this time, it means a lot. My sole purpose for beginning this blog was to further engage my love for writing and also to entertain my audience. I want you all to feel everything from happiness, sadness, love, and everything in between during these fics. I hope I share some good stories and messages with you all. I will be fully running this blog and taking requests again after May 13. After that time I will be done with most of my hard classes and AP exams. Thank you all for being so amazing I love you all and I hope you enjoyed this :)
#gwrites#park jisung#jisung imagines#jisung sceanario#nct imagines#nct scenarios#nct dream#nct angst#jisung angst#jisung fanfic#NCT#but like why am I so tempted to do a part 2#like I’m itching
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P I C K (S) O F T H E M O N T H:
A P R I L
The Bride Test by Helen Hoang
London Celebrities series by Lucy Parker
Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson
Meet Cute by Helen Hunting
Wicked Beautiful by J.T. Geissinger
Unmarriageable by Soniah Kamal
The Bride Test by Helen Hoang
Genres: Romance, Contemporary, New Adult
Synopsis:
Khai Diep has no feelings. Well, he feels irritation when people move his things or contentment when ledgers balance down to the penny, but not big, important emotions—like grief. And love. He thinks he’s defective. His family knows better—that his autism means he just processes emotions differently. When he steadfastly avoids relationships, his mother takes matters into her own hands and returns to Vietnam to find him the perfect bride.
As a mixed-race girl living in the slums of Ho Chi Minh City, Esme Tran has always felt out of place. When the opportunity arises to come to America and meet a potential husband, she can’t turn it down, thinking this could be the break her family needs. Seducing Khai, however, doesn’t go as planned. Esme’s lessons in love seem to be working…but only on herself. She’s hopelessly smitten with a man who’s convinced he can never return her affection.
With Esme’s time in the United States dwindling, Khai is forced to understand he’s been wrong all along. And there’s more than one way to love.
Why we love it:
Esme and her journey and growth throughout the book
diverse and well-written characters
romance and love story that builds up slowly
intriguing side characters that we want more of!
Trigger warnings: mentions of xenophobia and racism
London Celebrities series by Lucy Parker
Genres: Romance, Contemporary, New Adult
Synopsis:
This just in: romance takes center stage as West End theatre's Richard Troy steps out with none other than castmate Elaine Graham
Richard Troy used to be the hottest actor in London, but the only thing firing up lately is his temper. We all love to love a bad boy, but Richard's antics have made him Enemy Number One, breaking the hearts of fans across the city.
Have the tides turned? Has English rose Lainie Graham made him into a new man?
Sources say the mismatched pair has been spotted at multiple events, arm in arm and hip to hip. From fits of jealousy to longing looks and heated whispers, onlookers are stunned by this blooming romance.
Could the rumors be right? Could this unlikely romance be the real thing? Or are these gifted stage actors playing us all?
Why we love it:
book series full of our favourite tropes like enemies to lovers and fake dating
yet so refreshingly non-cliché
sharp writing, witty dialogues, layered characters
focus on characters’ individual storylines as well as on romance
no “love fixes everything” trope
realistic approach to sex in smut scenes
makes you giddy and happy as you read it
Trigger warnings: sexual assault (book 1), mentions of suicide (book 1), mentions of sexism/misogyny
Warbreaker by Brandon Sanderson
Genres: Fantasy, High Fantasy, Adult
Synopsis:
This is the story of two sisters, who happen to be princesses. Theirs is a world in which those who die in glory return as gods to live confined to a pantheon in Hallandren's capital city. A world transformed by a power based on an essence known as breath. Using magic is arduous as breath can only be collected one unit at a time.
Why we love it:
interesting magic system
Lightsong is one of the funniest characters ever
Viviena has a beautiful arc and it takes her in unexpected places
soft character that is super powerful
mysterious and engaging
political intrigue
Trigger warnings: violence, gore
Meet Cute by Helen Hunting
Genres: Romance, Contemporary, New Adult
Synopsis:
Talk about an embarrassing introduction. On her first day of law school, Kailyn ran - quite literally - into the actor she crushed on as a teenager, ending with him sprawled on top of her. Mortified to discover the Daxton Hughes was also a student in her class, her embarrassment over their meet-cute quickly turned into a friendship she never expected. Of course, she never saw his betrayal coming either...
Now, eight years later, Dax is in her office asking for legal advice. Despite her anger, Kailyn can't help feeling sorry for the devastated man who just became sole guardian to his thirteen-year-old sister. But when her boss gets wind of Kailyn's new celebrity client, there's even more at stake than Dax's custody issues: if she gets Dax to work at their firm, she'll be promoted to partner.
The more time Kailyn spends with Dax and his sister, the more she starts to feel like a family, and the more she realizes the chemistry they had all those years ago is as fresh as ever. But will they be able to forgive the mistakes of the past, or will one betrayal lead to another?
Why we love it:
romantic comedy style
enemies to lovers trope, our fave!
relatable characters that develop through the story
light and funny story
very much a lovely read
Trigger warnings: mentions of depression, minor character death
Wicked Beautiful by J.T. Geissinger
Genres: Romance, Contemporary, New Adult
Synopsis:
A ruthless businesswoman and the playboy who dumped her long ago find themselves embroiled in a high stakes game of love, lies and revenge.
Life coach and best-selling author Victoria Price has it all: a successful career, fabulous friends, a fantastic penthouse in Manhattan. What she doesn’t have—and doesn’t want—is a husband. Fifteen years ago her high school flame broke her heart so badly she swore she’d never love again. Now she makes millions teaching other women how to be just like her: a ruthless bitch.
Drop-dead sexy restauranteur and infamous playboy Parker Maxwell has only three rules for the women he dates: no questions about his past, no expectations for the future, and no spending the night. When he meets Victoria, however, he’s willing to break his own rules if it means sating the explosive desire she arouses in him. What he doesn’t know is that the alluring Victoria Price used to be the mousy Isabel Diaz, the girl he deflowered and dumped long ago.
Presented with a perfect opportunity for revenge, Victoria decides the game is on. But when her connection with Parker proves more than just skin deep, she has to make a choice: continue with her plan for payback, or risk her career, her reputation, and her heart by taking a second chance on love?
Why we love it:
Lovers to enemies trope
second chance at love trope
interesting pairing - ruthless woman and “playboy” man
overall this entire series is worth reading
Trigger warnings: n/a
Unmarriageable by Soniah Kamal
Genres: Retellings, Romance, Contemporary, Adult
Synopsis:
In this one-of-a-kind retelling of Pride and Prejudice set in modern-day Pakistan, Alys Binat has sworn never to marry--until an encounter with one Mr. Darsee at a wedding makes her reconsider.
A scandal and vicious rumor concerning the Binat family have destroyed their fortune and prospects for desirable marriages, but Alys, the second and most practical of the five Binat daughters, has found happiness teaching English literature to schoolgirls. Knowing that many of her students won't make it to graduation before dropping out to marry and have children, Alys teaches them about Jane Austen and her other literary heroes and hopes to inspire the girls to dream of more.
When an invitation arrives to the biggest wedding their small town has seen in years, Mrs. Binat, certain that their luck is about to change, excitedly sets to work preparing her daughters to fish for rich, eligible bachelors. On the first night of the festivities, Alys's lovely older sister, Jena, catches the eye of Fahad "Bungles" Bingla, the wildly successful—and single—entrepreneur. But Bungles's friend Valentine Darsee is clearly unimpressed by the Binat family. Alys accidentally overhears his unflattering assessment of her and quickly dismisses him and his snobbish ways. As the days of lavish wedding parties unfold, the Binats wait breathlessly to see if Jena will land a proposal—and Alys begins to realize that Darsee's brusque manner may be hiding a very different man from the one she saw at first glance.
Told with wry wit and colorful prose, Unmarriageable is a charming update on Jane Austen's beloved novel and an exhilarating exploration of love, marriage, class, and sisterhood.
Why we love it:
Pakistani version of Pride and Prejudice
interesting characters
storytelling is lit!
it tackles issues women face in Pakistani society
calls out misogyny
Trigger warnings: n/a
#book recs#dailylit#nadaily#bookworm#bibliophile#books#warbreaker#the bride test#london celebrities series#meet cute#unmarriageable#wicked beautiful#wicked games series#pick of the month
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Fame Chapter 1 “Whiskey On Ice”
Author: Sarah (@prettyboyroger)
Characters: BoRhap! Roger Taylor, Katherine Teague (OC), BoRhap! Mary Austin, Jane (OC, kinda), BoRhap! Brian May, BoRhap! Tim Staffell, BoRhap! Freddie Mercury
Pairing(s): BoRhap! Roger Taylor/OC, slight BoRhap! Mary Austin/Freddie Mercury in the background
Summary: A former child star making a new image for herself becomes involved with Roger Taylor as they both rise to fame, dealing with all that brings with it and that life brings along the way.
Rating/Warnings: PG-13/ Alcohol use, smoking, references to a character having had sex while underage (non-graphic)
Disclaimer: These portrayals are based off of the characters in Bohemian Rhapsody, I do not claim to know the real people that these are based on. This story is a work of fiction and the character of Katherine as well as many of the events in this series are fictional. I do not own Queen, Bohemian Rhapsody, or Roger Taylor.
Word Count: 2869
A/N: Okay so this is chapter 1 of what’s hopefully going to be a long-running series. I’m finally contributing something to this fandom instead of just leeching off everyone else! Also I made this an OC instead of a reader insert because I wanted to do something a little different and have a character was a little less likable and more flawed and less of a blank slate. Please be gentle, I haven’t written a fanfiction in years, but I hope you like it! I wrote it with BoRhap! Roger in mind, but you can picture 1970 Roger Taylor and it’ll work just fine. If you want to be added to the taglist, just let me know.
Music: Playlist for this chapter in general. Youtube playlist for the songs Smile played (yes I know that I Feel Good was not with Smile just let me have this)
Part 2
4 January 1970
Katherine adjusted the bow on her yellow dress in the mirror. She spun around to face her friend “So how do I look?”
“You look like you’re going to freeze,” Mary said dryly to her co-worker.
“You’re not even wearing nylons Kat!” Jane chimed in.
“Nylons were invented by the man to keep us down! They’re itchy and uncomfortable and not wearing them has the added benefit of free drinks all night,” Katherine smiled deviously to her friends. “In any case it’s not like I’m going to go home with anybody I’m just going to flirt a little and have some drinks, there’s nothing wrong with that, in fact, it makes me frugal!” Katherine said, brushing her long blonde hair.
“What it makes you is fast!” Jane teased dodging the hairbrush that Katherine had thrown at her.
“We’re only teasing Kathy you look great,” Mary said, adjusting the fur trim on her own coat.
“You’re not allowed to tease me on my birthday, it’s against the rules and I do, don’t I? Not quite as good as you, Mary, but I make up for it with my dazzling personality.”
Mary rolled her eyes “And unparalleled humility.”
“Of course I could do better if Mary were to come with me and help me…”
“As much fun as it sounds to be groped by strange creepy drunk men all night, I’ll just leave getting the drinks to you.”
“Oh live a little Mary! Don’t be such a square! And not all the guys are total creeps, who knows, you might just meet your destiny tonight!”
“Seems a funny way to meet my destiny, at a student band’s performance in a tiny pub.”
“A student band that we are going to miss if we don’t get going right now,” Jane chimed in.
The girls set out from Jane’s flat down to the pub two blocks down the road. Katherine was shaking and goosebumps appeared on her bare legs as they walked down the street.
“Cold, Kathy?” Jane taunted.
“I’ll have you know that my blood runs quite warm so I simply don’t get cold. I simply have goosebumps in anticipation, after all, it’s my 18th birthday and I can finally drink out at clubs!”
“Uh-huh and how are you gonna explain to the bartender at the same pub we’ve been going to for years that this is your 18th birthday?” Jane asked
“I don’t know what you’re talking about I have never been this pub before, I have been told that I have an uncanny resemblance to a woman named Karen Knight who may have frequented this pub in the past, but I have a suspicion that she won’t be coming back,” Kathy beamed as her friends rolled their eyes.
The girls walked into the pub together, showing Kathy’s real ID for once, just as the little student band was beginning to set up for the show. Kathy was chatting up one of the men at the bar, a ginger who was probably around 26, in a bid for free drinks just as the lead singer introduced the band.
“How are all you lovely people doing tonight? I’m Tim Staffell, we have the incomparable Brian May on guitar, and of course, the legendary Cornish drummer Roger Taylor.” That last comment earned Tim an eye roll from the blond drummer and a few giggles from the crowd. Must be an inside joke Kathy thought to herself. Kathy had paused her pursuit of drinks to look over at the band. The lead singer looked well enough and when he started to play the bass and sing he was certainly very talented, if a bit lacking in showmanship. The guitarist seemed very tall, at least in comparison to Tim, he really had a natural talent for this, he was probably the best of all of them and his guitar was very unique, it wasn’t a Strat like most people had, Kathy had never seen a guitar quite like this one before, it had a good sound, a unique sound quite unlike most of the others she had heard before. The drummer was probably the least technically skilled of the three of them, but he made up for it many times over by bringing in a certain showmanship that the other two lacked. He would twirl his drumsticks and smile at the pretty girls in the audience. The audience was charmed and mesmerized by him (the female members of the audience in any case). He was the best looking one, in Kathy’s opinion anyway, and it seemed a shame to her that he was hidden away in the back behind a drum kit. Kathy turned her attention back to the ginger in front of her as the band’s song played in the background.
Do do do
Do do do
“Do you come here often?” Kathy smiled at the ginger affecting her best northern accent. Guys like him always were suckers for sweet, naïve northern girls.
Do do do
Do do do
“I would come here more often if there were more girls like you here.” Kathy laughed and batted her pretty brown eyes.
Do do do
Do do do
“My, my but you are charming.” He wasn’t.
Do do do
Do do do
“Where are you from?”
Do do do
Do do do
“Carlisle.” She wasn’t.
Do do do
Do do do
“New in town, then? Can I get you a drink?” Hook, line, and sinker.
You take away my sunshine
You take away my rain
I can see it in your eye
“Well I mean, I don’t know if I should I mean my friends don’t have drinks either and I would just feel too bad drinking in front of them if they don’t have anything.” Years of acting were finally paying off for Kathy as she put on her best “dumb, silly little distressed girl face”.
There must be an answer somewhere
(there must be a way)
“Four drinks please! I’ll have a gin & tonic and whatever the lady would like to order.” He had a smarmy smile on his face and his hand started to rub on Kathy’s bare thigh.
You can find a way
I can see it in your eye
“A Blue Hawaiian and a Pina Colada for my friends. I’ll have a whiskey on ice.” Kathy smiled at the ginger man before her, not allowing any of her distaste for him to show.
The bartender gave Kathy her drinks as the song started to wind down in a chorus of Do do do. Kathy smiled and removed the ginger’s hand from her thigh. “I’ll be right back and we’ll see what kind of trouble we can get into,” Kathy winked. She never saw the ginger again.
Kathy had a few talents and carrying three drinks through a crowded pub without spilling any of them was one of them. As she made her way over to Jane and Mary, she caught the eye of the drummer she had noticed earlier. God, he was gorgeous with long dirty blond hair and sparkling blue eyes and from the looks of it he knew it as he caught Kathy staring at him and winked at her from behind his drum set. Kathy flashed her winning smile right back at him, she would not be outdone in the overconfidence department. The drummer laughed and smiled after catching her smile before turning his attention back to his drums. He was terribly handsome, Kathy thought, I must say hello after the show. Kathy had made her way over to Mary and Jane just as the next song was starting up.
“Ladies, I come bearing gifts!” Kathy handed Mary her Pina Colada and Jane her Blue Hawaiian.
“Which poor sod did you trick into buying you these?” Mary prodded gently.
“The ginger that’s dressed like a square.”
“Kathy! That’s not a very nice thing to say!” Mary scolded, “Don’t be mean!”
“But it’s true isn’t it? Anyway don’t feel too bad for him, he got fresh with me.”
“Which I’m sure you in no way encouraged,” Jane chimed in in between sips of her drink.
“Are we here to judge me for getting free drinks out of a creep or are we here to have a good time?” Kathy asked, impatient to start having a good time, taking a swig of her whiskey.
The band played a short set consisting of some original stuff and some covers. All of the members were quite good singers, something that surprised Kathy.
“You rarely see a singing drummer! It’s very unique!” Kathy remarked earnestly watching the drummer sing a cover of “I Feel Good”.
“You fancy him, Kat?” Jane asked between sips of her drink.
“He is handsome dontcha think?” Kathy twirled a lock of her hair around her finger.
“Yeah, but he seems like a bit of a lad to me,” Jane responded.
“Well I’m not looking to marry him or anything I just think he looks like a good time for a night or so.”
Jane rolled her eyes as Kathy pulled out a cigarette.
“You know Kat I read those things are just awful for you,” Jane chided as Kathy pulled out her Zippo lighter and lit the cigarette.
“Well we all have to die somehow,” Kathy said taking a drag. As she exhaled the smoke rose and circled around the girls heads. Kathy never understood how non-smokers could stand to be in pubs, they always seemed to be more smoke than air. It was pretty in a way, at least to Kathy, the way the smoke would fog up the room putting a haze and a mystique to these pubs, a certain atmosphere was created there, one of anonymity and Kathy found it all very Romantic. Of course, to others like Jane it was just a choking hazard of dirty, smelly air.
As the song finished, the guitarist stepped up to the mic, “Now we only have one song left for you folks tonight,” Boos and whines erupted from the crowd, “No, no, now it’s a good one it’s called ‘Doing All Right’.”
The girls finished their drinks and Kathy finished her cigarette as the song hummed along in the background.
“Mary, what do you think of the singer? You always have had a thing for singers and you are the one who recommended that we should see this band anyway?” Kathy turned to her friend who had been unusually quiet this whole time.
Mary wasn’t paying attention to her friends and her eyes were focused on the bar at something. Or rather someone. A dark haired man was drinking a beer at the bar and watching the band attentively, hanging onto every note and Mary was watching him just as attentively.
“Mary!”
The pretty blonde finally noticed that her friends were trying to get her attention and spun around.
“Sorry, what were you saying?”
“Well, we were going to ask you if you liked the singer, but you seem to be more interested in the gentleman at the bar,” Kathy giggled at her friend as Mary turned bright red.
“Well, I was just- I mean- He is quite handsome don’t you think? And Tim? Oh, he’s fine, but actually Brian, the guitarist, has been terribly kind to me.”
“Kind to you? You’ve talked to him?” Kathy asked her friend.
“Wait, Brian? I’ve heard that name before… weren’t you two going steady for a little while a few months ago?” Jane asked.
Kathy’s eyes lit up and her jaw hit the floor. “Wait, wait, wait, you were going steady with him? And you didn’t tell me? I didn’t know you had gone out with anybody, you never tell me anything!”
Mary looked overwhelmed with the sudden interrogation “Well we weren’t really going steady, we just went out on a few dates and-”
“What was he like? He looks a bit like a square, but he is a guitarist in a rock band and the things that guitarists can do with their fingers-”
“KAT! This is why I never tell you anything! Don’t make this dirty!”
“Oh honey this was dirty before I said anything!”
Mary was saved by the song coming to an end and the band thanking the audience and leaving the stage. People slowly began to shuffle out of the pub and into the hallway when Kathy stopped her friends in a doorway.
“I’m gonna go talk to the drummer.”
“God Kat. Should we wait for you?” Jane asked incredulously.
“No, no, don’t wait for me.”
“Kat, we’re not going to leave you here to go home with some guy you’ve never met. Besides, from what Brian’s told me, Roger is a lad,” Mary cautioned.
“Oh, so his name’s Roger then? I’d forgotten if he’d been introduced. Fantastic, thank you for your help,” Kathy spun around and walked out to the back where the band was, ignoring her friends’ protests.
Kathy opened the doors to see the three boys putting the last of the drum kit into the van.
“I liked your show.”
The boys spun around to see Kathy standing just outside of the door smiling at them with her prettiest, most practised smile. Kathy had a burst of pride when she saw Brian flush as soon as he looked at her, the one thing Kathy always took pride in was how pretty she was. She knew that girls were not supposed to think that they’re pretty, but Kathy was very pretty and everyone had always told her so all her life from her mother, to casting directors, to her agent. Other girls had wit and grace and they were allowed to think to think that they those, why should she not be allowed to think that she was pretty?
Well, as long as men look at me like that, I’ll always have something Kathy thought to herself.
“I- Thank you glad you liked it,” Brian stuttered out before quickly turning back to the van and putting more stuff in in an effort to hide the blush on his face. Kathy stifled a laugh at that. The singer Jim? No? Lin? Was also putting stuff into the van seemingly lost in thought. Roger did not blush sweetly like Brian did. He simply smiled the cockiest smile that Kathy had ever seen as he approached her.
“I noticed you enjoying the show,” he looking up and down her body in a completely un-gentlemanly way. He lowered his voice and whispered in her ear “And I noticed you looking at me.”
Kathy laughed and turned to him, her voice as soft as his, “Is that right? Because I seem to remember it being you looking at me.” The blondes smirked at each other.
“I’m Roger.”
“Kathy. Or Katherine if you’re my mother and I’ve pissed you off.”
Roger laughed at that. “Listen, what are you doing-”
“Roger, hey, I need to talk to you,” the singer Tom? Interrupted the two.
Roger turned to the singer, annoyance flickering in his eyes, “Can it wait, I’m kinda in the middle of something, Tim.” Tim! That was it!
“No, Roger, I’m sorry, but it’s important. And miss? I’m sorry, but I really need to talk to Roger and Brian. Alone.”
“I understand. See you around Roger.”
Kathy turned around towards the hall, a little annoyed, though not as annoyed as Roger who Kathy heard as she was heading back, “Are you joking? You better have something important to say, she was about an hour and two drinks away from shagging me!”
Kathy saw Mary and Jane still standing in the doorway where she had left them as she came back, they were looking at someone down the hall from her. As Kathy followed their gaze she noticed the dark-haired man that Mary had been staring at earlier walking towards her. He stopped suddenly and turned around to look at Mary.
“I like your coat,” the dark-haired stranger said.
“She got it at Biba, she works there!” Jane chimed in smiling at Mary who turned to Jane, irritation flickering on her face.
“Thank you.” Mary said, her annoyance and embarrassment visible on her face.
The dark-haired man smiled and continued walking down the hallway, passing Kathy. Kathy rejoined her friends, as bemused as Jane was at how flustered the dark-haired man made her.
“Well, well Mary, you have an admirer!” Kathy said.
“I do not have an admirer! I’ve seen him at other Smile shows and he just wanted to know where the band is and he probably just recognized me. And aren’t you supposed to be shagging some drummer by now?”
Kathy gasped in mock outrage, “Well I never! I was merely inviting him over for a chaste afternoon tea and you and your dirty mind turned this into something naughty that I never could have dreamed of! Honestly Mary!”
“Spare us Kathy, we both know that you are as much a virgin as Mary Magdalene was. Did you get shot down?”
“I have never and will never be shot down in my life! Tim just needed to talk to him.”
“What about?”
“No idea. Band stuff, probably. Anyway, we have to open tomorrow, want to head back?”
“Gladly.”
A/N Pt. 2: That’s all folks! Also don’t crucify me for the descriptions Kathy gives of the band’s playing, they’re based off of biographies of Queen that I read that said that Tim was good enough to get recruited to an up and coming band, Brian was exceptionally talented from the early days of Queen, and Roger wasn’t perfect technically at first, it took him until about Sheer Heart Attack to really get his drumming down to the exceptional level it is today! I don’t know enough about music to make these kind of judgments on my own, I think they sound really good, even from the beginning! But Kathy as a character would so I had to defer to what other people who know music said about it! Again, please be kind I haven’t written any fanfiction in a very long time!!
#queen fanfiction#roger taylor fanfiction#roger taylor#bohemian rhapsody#queen#bohemian rhapsody fanfiction#roger taylor x oc#roger taylor imagine#ben hardy#ben hardy imagine#fic#borhap#bo rhap#my fic#fame#fame fic#katherine teague#roger x kathy#kathy x roger#queen imagine#freddie mercury#brian may#tim staffell#mary austin#fanfic#fanfiction#ben hardy as roger taylor
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prose poem prompt of day 1: Echoes of Weathered Hands
(a hand study by the very talented JC Leyendecker)
(original, written in my native tongue: Wenn ich jetzt die Hände erhebe, die Haut rau und durchweicht von Kalk und Seifenlauge, das Nagelbett wund gebissen, verschließen von nervösen Zähnen, fasernd sich auflehnend, die Handflächen entzündet, aggressiv gerötet und dann von gelblicher Scham an den richtigen Stellen bedeckt, dann würde ich die mageren Finger verknoten, falten, beten und fliehen.)
If I now raise my hands, the skin rough and soaked with lime and soap suds, the nail beds bitten sore, closed by nervous teeth, rebelling in fibers, the palms inflamed, aggressively reddened and then veiled in yellowish shame at the fingertips, then I would knot the meager fingers, fold them, pray and flee.
#very poetic language#felix's weird thoughts and drabbles#writers and poets#short poem#poetry prompt tag along you if you want#author hates and loves his writing having an unhealthy relationship with that cause what else is to do in life#author is a lit student so based on real events#poetry and glitter#neologisms#who else finds mixing up their mother tongue with english really confusing?#it feels like i am a different person in each language#i know i should write more obikin but i wanted to try this#hope you like it#i don't know what to think
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mahpiohanzia | chapter four [Remus Lupin/Reader]
You are an Animagus-in-training nearing the end of your education. He is Generic Defence Against the Dark Arts Teacher Replacement #7. Your final year at Hogwarts couldn’t possibly be any stranger than the previous six...but seven is one of the most powerful numbers in magic, after all.
Author’s Notes: Co-written by Andrew. Follow the blog @mahpiohanzia.
Notes: sorry this is late! I got sick and missed january's update. it's a short one, but I felt it was important to keep this sequence separate from the rest of november's events. so much happens in november / the next chapter, I didn't want to minimize the importance of this event by relegating it to an intro.
fun fact, the early november storm is actually canon! it happens the whole first week of november, and the 6th is when harry gets attacked by dementors on the quidditch pitch. the full moon schedule and the canon storm along with how important full moon cycles are canonically to the animagus creation process--look, the timeline falls into place so well, i'm convinced the universe itself wanted me to write this fic.
next update is scheduled for the 19th. see you then!
Amato Animo Animato Animagus.
You were normally still in bed at sunrise, before being jarred awake by the bone-conducting vibrations of your enchanted watch, the Animagus spell becoming a quiet ritual in an otherwise sleeping dorm room. Sunset’s observances were performed in a variety of places, depending on where you were at the time—sometimes whispered behind library bookshelves or in bathroom stalls, or enunciated loud and joyously in whatever isolated corner of the grounds you found yourself studying in.
You were proud of how far you’d come, and each repetition of the spell made you feel more and more alive.
You would repeat the incantation twice per day, pointing the tip of your ebony wand towards at your heart. Sometimes, when you cast it, you could feel the surreal echo of another heartbeat syncing itself with your own, like the ghost of a second consciousness growing inside of you.
As you waited for the lightning storm, you wondered which beast laid dormant within you.
You knew from your studies that one’s Animagus form was assigned, not chosen, based on how facets of your personality intersected with the nature of your own magical energy.
Still, you worried.
Millions of species lived on this planet, most of which you’d likely never even heard of. Statistically speaking, what were the chances your new form would be something awkward, like a cockroach, or a garden slug? Or something even more dangerously impractical, like an elephant, or an ant, or literally anything that lived underwater?
Years upon years of study just to turn into a sea bass.
You might have enough time to be disappointed before dying of embarrassment.
All your worries notwithstanding, you continued your scheduled spellcasting without fail, with your wand to your chest and your heart pounding to the rhythm of another. You resolved to trust yourself and whatever new image was forthcoming—which, you knew, were one and the same. The form you were to become was not the emergence of something other, but an emergence of the self.
And for better or for worse, you would be worthy of it.
-
In the early morning hours of the second of November, you were woken by a Head Slytherin in their pyjamas, a lit wand in their hand.
“Professor Snape wants to see you,” they said, keeping their voice low to not disturb your roommates. “Says it’s an emergency.”
As you tried to clear away your sleepy stupor, it took a few moments for you to understand the sympathetic sense of panic weighing in the other student’s eyes: an emergency call at this time of night usually meant a serious injury or death in the family.
Thunder clapped outside your window, striking you with sudden clarity.
You knew better.
-
You were led to Snape’s office at once. You’d hastily thrown on your school robes before heading out—you didn’t feel like facing the upcoming task, or Snape, wearing nothing but your nightclothes.
Snape was at the center of his stone-flask office when the two of you arrived, keeping his shoulders square and his hands folded behind his back. His black night-robes looked only marginally more comfortable than his day ones.
“That will be all,” he said to the other student. They nodded and left, making their way back to the dormitories.
As soon as you were alone, Snape turned his heel and approached a wall of his office, taking out his wand and making a small, complicated movement you didn’t recognize. A small stone brick dislodged itself from the wall, allowing him to remove your crystal phial from behind it. Hidden from sunlight and left to cure for several weeks, the once random slurry of ingredients had transformed into a homogeneous, deep-red liquid.
“Follow me,” he ordered.
You obliged.
Sounds of the incoming storm followed you down the hallways. For how real this was becoming, you still felt as if you were navigating a dream, wandering through dungeon corridors at the tail of someone carrying a vial of spit mixed with a dead insect and an old leaf.
Though you had no wand pointed at yourself, your heart was already beating fast enough for two.
The large, empty hall he led you to was as frigid as the rest of the dungeons: not a classroom, but one of the many spare chambers kept cleared for various use. The torches lining the stone walls were already lit, revealing the silhouette of a rather tired-looking McGonagall, standing nearby in her night-robes.
“Professor,” you beamed. “You’re here.”
“Of course,” she said, as if it were obvious. “I’ve spent the last four years preparing you for this—it would be a shame to miss the debut.”
“Procedure mandates a minimum of two witnesses for the first transformation,” Snape drawled. “Nothing more than a requirement for your registration with the Ministry.”
McGonagall clicked her tongue. “Come now, Severus, I think you can afford to be a little more excited.”
Snape remained expressionless.
Somehow, having McGonagall present dulled the anxious edge of the situation. Though you would never admit it, if something went wrong and you had to choose between the two of them for help, you would choose McGonagall without hesitation. You wouldn’t be able to handle impatient ridicule for any missteps tonight, not while you were already teetering on the precipice of a faltering confidence.
“The potion appears adequate,” Snape said, examining the phial closely beneath the torchlight. “I take it you’ve performed the incantation?”
“Twice a day,” you nodded. “Sunup and sundown.”
“Never missing an instance?”
“No, sir.”
“On your life?”
“...yes, sir.”
“Hm,” he sneered, sounding unconvinced. “We shall see.”
He handed the potion to you. You looked at it as if it were a live grenade.
Reaching into your robes, you pointed your wand to your heart and recited the spell, one last time.
“Amato Animo Animato Animagus.”
Years of study, of patience, of vigor, all leading up to this moment.
You uncorked the phial and braced for the worst.
As the blood-red concoction hit your tongue, you found Snape’s words inside your head, words you carried with you these past two years like a mantra.
Hold your nerve.
The potion ran thin and tasted stale, imbued with the faint flavour of Mandrake leaf drowned in standing water.
The reaction was immediate.
The second heartbeat rematerialized beneath your chest, pulsing distinct and out of time with your own, growing faster and more powerful with every beat. The wand and phial fell from your hands; you dropped to your knees and pressed both hands over your heart, convinced it was going to burst from your chest if you didn’t try holding it in.
It should’ve hurt, you thought, but it didn’t. None of it did.
Pins and needles tingled at your fingertips, surging up your arms and spreading through your body like waves of static. An immense pressure was suddenly bearing down on you from all sides, as if a magical gravity was pushing against you, into you, forcefully reshaping you into a mold that was not your own. Too many strange sensations happened all at once, in an instant—your glasses sinking into your face, your robes seeming to melt against the surface of your skin—it was horrific, otherworldly.
But then it wasn’t.
Your out-of-sync heartbeats harmonized until you felt only one remain.
You opened your eyes. You were lower to the ground than before, much lower, but whatever body you occupied now felt just as natural to you as your first.
A secondary consciousness swiftly joined your normal thoughts, snapping at you in quick, sharp compulsions.
Inside. Indoors. Danger. Get out. Out, out. Now.
The sudden urge to escape was overwhelming, enough to move your body on its own accord; torn between the instinct to run and the rationality to stay, you stumbled over your own feet and fell over.
‘I’m safer here,’ you told yourself. ‘It’s okay. I’m safe.’
Up, then. Up.
That, you couldn’t ignore.
Before you could stop yourself, you lifted yourself up, up, up. You were lighter than you could possibly imagine. Lighter than air. Almost hollow.
Stand high. Stand high and look.
You landed in an archway of the chamber, your feet-turned-talons scraping around a corner edge of stone. Being high up felt more comfortable than being on the ground, and it set your panic at ease.
It might as well have been daytime for how clearly you could see into every corner of the dimly lit room. Not only could you see better in the dark, but you could somehow see more than you used to, as if your peripheral vision had been widened by several degrees. The sheer scale of your new optic scope was so much to take in all at once, you found yourself moving your head every few seconds just to properly process all the details.
From below, McGonagall conjured a small puddle of liquid silver on the floor.
Shiny. Get it.
You let yourself come down from the ceiling to investigate. The mystery substance was highly reflective, allowing you to see yourself clearly as you approached it.
You tried to make a noise of surprise, but a garbled croak escaped you instead.
You were bigger than you thought you were—at least two feet long, if not longer. A slightly curved beak took place where your nose and mouth had been. You were completely covered in sleek, oil-black feathers, with the ones around your neck fluffed out in all the wrong places. Uncanny markings lined your eyes where your glasses had been, and there was a thin band of grey around one of your scrawny black ankles, the closest thing to a wrist you had now from where you wore your watch.
The longer you stared in the makeshift mirror, the more relieved you felt. You were a bird—and a common one, at that. Not embarrassing or impractical in the least.
A whole new world of possibilities sent your mind racing. An inconspicuous Animagus form would actually prove useful for a position at the Ministry of Magic, instead of just something impressive to pad your application. With a skill like this, you didn’t need to settle for the mere goal of ‘detective.’ You could be a Hit Wizard.
You could be a goddamn Auror.
-
Being sure to give you enough space, your professors watched as you carefully examined your own reflection.
“A crow?” Snape asked.
“Too big to be a crow,” McGonagall said, shaking her head. “A raven, I believe.”
“How ominous.” He lowered his voice. “When shall we let them know that turning into the animal is the easy part?”
“Give it a few more minutes.”
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Be Your Own Life Coach: 7 Techniques to Live Your Dreams
Discover your real purpose and also find the courage to live your dream.
Five years of teaching in New york city City public colleges, Emily Hyland, 32, had a change of mind. It happened after attempting to separate a fight in between 2 teen students then getting shouted at by one of their moms and dads." I realized this was not the sort of atmosphere I wanted to be in any longer. I wanted to comply with a creative path, not one so rigidly confined to bureaucracy as well as methods," says Hyland. "I understood something was missing. But I had not been certain exactly just what."
Many people have actually been there-- we've reached a moment when we sense we have a function we haven't yet discovered, or a gift we're not sharing. Yet after that comes the million-dollar question: What next? "When you hit that crossroads, you have to cultivate your vidya, or knowledge," claims Stephen Cope, PhD, therapist, yoga exercise educator, as well as writer of The Great Work of Your Life. This is where your yoga method really enters into play. "The yoga view is that at the heart of our real nature exists a conscious, illumined mind," Cope discusses. "This is the mind that recognizes directly, with ease, our true nature, our true calls. Every one of the practices of yoga are about attuning to this already-awake mind."
For Hyland, a committed yogi, the very first solution to "What next?" was to enroll in a yoga exercise teacher training on the weekends. "There was such a sharp contrast between the yoga workshop-- a huge, beautiful room with blue pastel walls as well as big wood home windows to allow in light-- and also a gloomy, severely lit public-school classroom," she remembers. "I had gone from an emotionally stressful atmosphere to one that was extremely concentrated and also peaceful and also permitted my genuine experience of being to emerge." Within a couple of weeks, she felt she had discovered her calling:" I was far more well balanced. I ended up being much more conscious of caring for my body. And also that was something I intended to give to other individuals." She quit her job a couple of months later and also started educating yoga exercise full time.
A couple of years later on, influenced by this fulfilling experience, Hyland and also her partner acted on a treasured dream they 'd both shared given that falling in love over a slice of pizza in 2001: to open their own wood-oven pizza dining establishment, called Emily. "Eating together has been just one of the sweetest components of our partnership," Hyland claims. "We love to have individuals over and to prepare good food. We understood we wished to re-create that with a dining establishment, essentially an extension of our residence, where we were inviting all type of individuals into have a good time."
Taking such life-altering steps like Hyland did may appear difficult, but there's clear evidence it can assist you live a richer, a lot more meaningful life. Scientists at the College of Rochester found that individuals who are intrinsically inspired-- implying they do something because they intend to, except external motivations like loan or success-- record more individual satisfaction. Yet many of us discover that everyday facts (paying rental fee, putting food on the table) hinder. There's a difference between a delighted life and one filled with objective. They may overlap, yet they don't constantly work together (think about a social lobbyist incarcerated for sharing her ideas, or a Doctors Without Borders volunteer that gets Ebola). Also with its obstacles, a meaningful life is satisfying as well as mentally fulfilling.
" In the view of yoga, every human has a dharma, a sacred duty, a true calling," says Cope. "Every one of life is an expedition to recognize and accept this. Yoga exercise calls us to activity worldwide. It calls us to add our gifts, to offer the great not only of our very own hearts, however, for the good of the globe."
Ready to address your calling? Fortunately is, it's within your reach. To aid you obtain there, we went to a few of the country's leading life instructors, yoga instructors, performance professionals, monetary coordinators, as well as true pros-- those who have actually been there, done that-- to obtain the practical actions you have to go from that user-friendly feeling in your gut to living the life you long to lead.
Step 1: Learn what you already know
When something's missing in your life, somewhere deep inside you, you understand it-- also if you have no idea you know it, claims Nancy Levin, a certified integrative train in Stone, Colorado, and also author of Jump ... And also Your Life Will Appear. Of training course, pinpointing exactly what's missing is essential to making a jump onward in a brand-new direction. One trick: Notice just what you stand up to. Levin states: "Ask yourself, 'What would I not wish to tell even my friend? Exactly what would certainly I conceal if I had a cam crew in my home recording a truth show?'"
That's just how L.a pediatric work specialist Rebekah Tolin, 39, understood she wasn't being true to herself if she really did not try to become a mom-- even without a life companion. "I constantly understood I wished to be a mommy because I was a youngster-- it was never an alternative. However after that I started resisting mosting likely to buddies' kids' birthday celebration celebrations or baby showers because it appeared too agonizing," says Tolin. "I realized each occasion forced me to ask myself, 'Why do not I obtain to have this?'" And after that, after a variety of these events, she had one more idea: "I've resided in 11 cities as well as run 8 marathons-- I don't diminish from challenge. If I intend to have an infant, I plainly have the resolution to do it on my very own." One evening, Tolin sat down and also began investigating single-mom groups and also blogs. Encouraged by what she read, she made a visit with a fertility expert to review her options.
If your own dream isn't yet that clear to you, time on the yoga exercise floor covering is an effective tool for figuring out just what you actually want, says Elena Brower, a New york city City-based yoga instructor and personal coach: By hanging around alone with on your own consistently, tuning into your sensations and emotions, and also pressing your physical limitations, you create the ability to see your patterns. As well as if you're sensing you have to alter those patterns, Brower states, take action-- the self-discovery could be much easier compared to you expect. "The initial teaching of the Yoga exercise Sutra is 'Now begins the research study of yoga exercise.' Every moment, you have the possibility to discover what 'now' suggests," claims Brower. "Ask on your own, right this second, exactly what can I do?"
Brower recalls being in her 20s working in the garment industry in Italy. Her life appeared extravagant from the outside, but she felt like something was missing. One day, in a moment of aggravation, she took out some paper and also asked herself what she would do if she might do anything. She composed the word "instruct." It was a wish she didn't even recognize she had till she looked within. In simply a few months, she was enlisted in the New School in New york city going after training to come to be an art teacher (she would eventually educate yoga permanent instead compared to art).
Step 2: Set your purpose as well as confide it in others
You've determined your desire, though it could still seem like nothing greater than a dream. To move on, says Deal, establish an intent or sankalpa, a sacred oath you make to yourself to serve your own greatest excellent and be of benefit to others. "When you bring this intent right into placement with your dharma, you know this is exactly what you need to do to live your heart's wish," states Cope. "Intent gives power as well as instructions to activity. As soon as I have established my intent, I can get rid of other alternatives in search of this clear goal."
Tolin clarified her intention by contemplating her desire for having a baby during her day-to-day runs. "While a lot of the moment I pictured how wonderful it would certainly be, I additionally battled with the idea of going it alone," she says. "But as I ran, I realized that I wasn't going to opt for a person since I desired an infant. I involved the verdict that despite the economic unpredictability, I 'd still be better as a single mom compared to in a loveless marriage."
Once you've set your intention, rely on others making it really feel real and also workable. Recent study from Dominican University shows that people who create up and also send action commitments to a friend (in addition to weekly updates) typically accomplish substantially even more of their goals compared to those who keep their written objectives to themselves. "You're more most likely to take the leap if others are asking you concerning it," says Levin.
When 29-year-old Heather Prouty realized she was uninspired regarding her selected magazine occupation, she began to dream of going to medical college-- a path that would certainly mean she probably would not be putting on an MD's white coat till she was regarding 4o. She was taking pre-med classes yet additionally seriously questioning her course. After that she had a heart-to-heart with a former associate who took place to be a physician, sharing her hopes as well as fears, as well as emerged feeling a lot more certain in her midlife profession change.
Still worried concerning baring your life's dream to somebody? Levin recommends picturing it ahead of time: Hear yourself trusting in a relied on individual as well as then picture his/her favorable feedback to buoy your courage.
Step 3: Do not just set goals, strategy them
When you're constructing out a long-lasting plan of action, it's easy to get bewildered by the many actions you have to bring the way. The secret to withstanding the ups as well as downs of your journey is to establish a normal system for exactly how you approach your goals, one that becomes a practice to draw on, clarifies J.D. Meier, that is a specialist on the Agile project-management strategy, a performance system preferred with business owners, and also author of Getting Results the Agile Way. "If you have no idea where to begin, begin by documenting 3 wins that you would certainly like for today," Meier claims. "It sounds simple, yet simply try it. This easy checklist of three outcomes for today will certainly help you stay concentrated, breathe a little easier, and also obtain back on track." Right here, he offers a regular job system that could aid you move onward, no matter just how aspirations your goals.
J. D. Meier's Job Week System to assist You Reach Your Goals
Monday Vision. Each Monday, recognize three considerable accomplishments-- three big wins-- that you desire to finish today. This is your vision of what wonderful outcomes look like.
Daily results. Each early morning, recognize three smaller success to achieve that day. These are items of your huge regular outcomes that would certainly reflect progress and make you really feel great. If you finish these three end results, you can handle more.
Power hours. Observe yourself over a week and also identify times of the day when you're most productive. These are your "power hrs." Strategy to utilize them for working with significant objectives. Maintain your energy up between presses by obtaining good sleep, eating well, and also working out frequently-- you'll obtain even more performed in one power hour compared to grinding via several hours at the wrong time of day.
Friday Reflection. Each Friday, set aside 20 mins to consider just what you discovered over the week. Ask yourself, Just what are 3 points that went really well? Just what are three things that could have gone much better? You'll start to observe patterns concerning yourself, as well as you could utilize this brand-new recognition to keep boosting-- to get faster and also more efficient at attaining your wanted outcomes.
Step 4: Conquer your loan fears
Financial worries could be incapacitating, yet conquering them could be among one of the most empowering action in your journey. When Chantal Pierrat, 35, started considering leaving her lucrative sales task to release a women's- focused not-for-profit, she was stressed. "I was the breadwinner for my family, so it had not been simply me taking this jump: It impacted my husband as well as youngsters, also," she states. But when Pierrat examined her budget, she saw that with a tight rein on household expenditures, they could live for 18 months without her revenue. "That understanding gave me the nerve to keep removaling onward," she says. Today, she's the Chief Executive Officer of Emerging Ladies, a company devoted to empowering females with management training and also networking.
To eliminate your loan anxieties, consider economic administration as a kind of yoga technique-- an opportunity to observe without judgment, breathe via pain, and also dedicate, claims Kate Northrup, a devoted vinyasa yoga exercise pupil as well as author of Money, A Love Tale: Untangle Your Economic Distress and Develop the Life You Truly Want. "Your mat is a best area to start to cultivate a further partnership with money because it shows you to pay interest in all locations of your life," she says.
Below, Northrup offers four pragmatic actions for obtaining on track financially. But her largest item of recommendations: Exercise self-compassion. "Money is a stand-in for just what we value-- the far better care we take of ourselves, the extra we're revealing that we value ourselves. This splashes out into your financial life, due to the fact that those who value themselves have the tendency to create even more worth worldwide and also to attract even more worth, also."
Kate Northrup's Tips for Financial Planning
Here, Northrup's 4 how-to suggestions:
Remember your purpose. Open a separate savings account as well as title it the name of your dream-- you'll be much more likely to transfer loan in there when you highlight your factor for saving.
Set a (savings) intention. Select a savings objective that serves your dream. If you're intending to quit your work, conserve at the very least a year's worth of living costs. As reward, established up a page with a fundraising widget to track savings.
Budget, with awareness. Track your living expenses for a month, jot down whatever you invest, from rent to a mug of coffee. Now, take a mindful check out your checklist to determine where you can reduce. "Come with it from a place of questions and also curiosity," says Northrup.
Apply tapas (dedicated effort). If you require even more cash to earn your desire job, take into consideration a moonlighting job. "Ask on your own, just what other skills do I have that I can generate income from?" says Northrup. Perhaps you can do some organisation consulting or tutoring on the side.
Step 5: Seek support
Why is it that when we need support from our community one of the most, we're instantly hesitant to ask? "We're so afraid of exposing any requirements, however occasionally that's precisely what we require to do to do well," states Levin. Pierrat discovered that when she was considering leaving her task to begin her own company. She was scared to allow her employer understand, but when she did, her sincerity repaid: Her employer offered her a shift year in which she 'd be paid complete wage while functioning on launching her brand-new business in her extra time." It offered me stability while looking into the stability of my desire," Pierrat says.
Tolin doubts she would certainly have attempted obtain expectant on her very own had she not gotten in touch with a single-moms support network. "At each stage-- considering it, attempting, maternity, mothering-- there were females to speak with, assisting me via this whole unbelievably scary process."
If you're still hesitant to request aid, ask on your own exactly what you believe will actually take place. Are you scared of appearing susceptible? Attached to doing it on your own? Do you fret you will show up self-indulgent due to the fact that you're pursuing a happy dream as opposed to grinding away at a workplace task thus lots of individuals have to? Just you could answer those questions, however bear in mind that in mind, living your true purpose is one of the most effective gift of solution you can provide to the globe, states Brower. "Consider what it is you desire to provide to the globe. If it's your desire, you're aiming to offer somebody to the most effective of your capability," she says. "It does not matter if your desire is to assist offer the unwell throughout the Ebola break out, or to offer the best pizza in the area. You're still doing it to earn a person satisfied, to boost the lives of those around you somehow." When you have that function in mind, asking for assistance is a no-brainer.
And, take into consideration that people enjoy assisting. Brower recommends making a note of three circumstances in the past year when you assisted somebody else. "Analyze what you did and just how great it really felt," she says. "Construct recognition of what it really feels like on the other side of that equation. Requesting assistance provides another person an opportunity to radiate."
Step 6: Just say yes!
As you obtain closer to taking a conclusive action toward your desire, you might begin to question yourself. Despite a solid plan of action, your finances healthy, as well as a neighborhood of family and friends on standby to help, it's normal to second-guess taking the definitive jump of, claim, stopping your day job or signing a service lease.
" There's no such thing as an action like this that has no threat," says Cope. "You'll never ever understand the outcome [beforehand] At some point, you just need to do it." This is the time ahead back to your discernment regarding why you are doing all this.
" Question is an immobilizing ailment, it paralyzes us from taking activity," says Cope. If you're really feeling icy, he recommends transforming to your method, whether it's asana, breathwork, or meditation, to refocus on the sense of purpose you identified at the very start of your trip. Listen to that intuition you had about exactly what you intend to carry out in the world. And afterwards, act! "Any type of activity absorbed placement with reality ultimately liquifies confusion as well as worry, and promotes the great of all beings," he says.
The power of the word "yes" came house to Tolin a couple of weeks before she finally conceived her child. She was frightened of just what she was regarding to do and confided her anxieties to a spiritual guide. "She stated, 'The answer is always yes, do not let it be no due to the fact that of concern or being embeded a pattern.' When she said that, I realized just how much I really did intend to be a mommy, as well as I moved on," says Tolin.
Step 7: Remember the meaning
Once the preliminary ecstasy of the jump diminishes, do not be amazed if it's replaced with a few of the familiar discontent you really felt before you made your relocation. "It's a phenomenon called hedonic adaptation-- people have the tendency to 'recuperate' from both the positive and also adverse aspects of their lives as well as return to the exact same frame of mind they were in previously," clarifies Sonja Lyubomirsky, PhD, professor at the College of California, Waterfront, as well as writer of The Myths of Happiness. Translation: The same points that drove you nuts in the past will drive you nuts again, whatever your life's work. It doesn't imply you made the incorrect option, it just strengthens the truth that life could never ever be all plain sailing. But, you can still delight in knowing you're lined up with your true function as well as adding something meaningful to the globe. Keep in mind, says Cope, your goal was to live closer to your real self. "There is a deeper contentment to be discovered recognizing you're doing what you were birthed to do," he says.
" My yoga teacher always worried to me to inhale the moment-- to not assume farther ahead compared to the following breath or more," says Tolin. "I took that viewpoint to direct me through [my boy] Aiden's very first couple of months. Whenever I really felt entirely erased from being up all night with him, or stressed out about funds, I would certainly simply tell myself, 'I only have to survive today.' Yes, there have actually been difficult moments. But when I snuggle with this precious, fragrant little individual, I understand without question it was the right decision."
Hallie Levine is an independent author based in Fairfield, Connecticut, and a mom of three.
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The Misadventures of Prince Kim - chapter 47
I wrote this one like two weeks ago omg, anyway I know I said I was updating on Sundays but I bet I’m gonna forget tomorrow, considering the new episode, so I’ll change it to “updating at some point on the weekends”. Anyway, have a chapter that’s somehow angsty and cracky at the same time
Also on AO3 as always, where you can read this sprawling 170k+ word count monster of a fic from the beginning
Alix had never before been so grateful that Max was one of the calmest, most logical people she had ever met. She was sure that he must be freaking out too – an assassination attempt was not something to be taken lightly – but at least he was a lot better at outwardly hiding it than she was. But then again, he didn’t have to deal with his brain constantly reminding him of the image of his own best friend dying horribly right in his arms, so of course it was easier for him.
Anyway, she had to get her mind off that somehow. Time to solve this mystery.
First they went back to her room to get the snake, just to keep a close eye on it as always, and then they took the chocolates over to the school authorities in the office near Duke Damocles’s tower. It was late at night by now and students were really not supposed to be wandering around the corridors, but luckily they did not run into anyone.
The school authorities did not seem to take the matter very seriously. They took the chocolates and smiled rather unconvincingly, telling Alix and Max to just go back to sleep and they would sort it all out in the morning. Then they shut the door and locked it.
“I’m not waiting till morning,” Alix said immediately, thinking about how much of a difference even a few minutes could make when it came to life or death situations. “And I don’t trust these authorities, they don’t really seem to care. What should we do now? Do we tell Kim?”
Max was silent for a few seconds, thinking. “I suggest we go talk to Alya. She’ll know what to do.”
That was a good idea. Alya’s spy ring was not much of a secret among the royals, despite the fact that ordinarily spy rings were meant to be kept hidden. The simple fact was that Alya’s reputation as spymaster was usually enough to strike fear into the hearts of anyone up to mischief, and so there was hardly any need for secrecy. And plus, no one actually knew the identities of most of her agents, so the main bulk of the spy network was left intact. She really knew what she was doing.
They went back to the dorms and knocked on Alya’s door. When she opened it she had her pyjamas on and her hair in a silk scarf, rubbing her eyes sleepily.
“I’m guessing if you’re waking me up this late there’s an emergency, and it better not be anything to do with Adrien being in danger yet again,” she muttered.
“Not Adrien who’s in danger,” Max said. “Someone else.”
“Alright, well come in and tell me about it. I’ll see what I can do.”
They entered her room and she shut the door behind them, and Max immediately launched into an explanation of everything that was much more coherent than Alix probably would have managed. Seriously, how was he so logical? Even when his own best friend was in such imminent danger? Wait – not just best friend. Sweetheart, too.
“Poisoned chocolates,” Alya mused, tapping her chin in thought. “Sent to Kim anonymously. I do indeed have some suspicions, but nothing definite. I’ll go start up an investigation and do everything I can – meanwhile you just sit tight and wait. I’ll let you know as soon as I’ve discovered anything. If it’s safe to do so, that is. I don’t know how long things will take so you can try going to sleep if you want.”
She pulled on a cloak and left through the door, picking up a little notebook from the table as she did so.
“I’m not going to sleep, no way,” Alix said. She knew perfectly well what would happen if she went to sleep right now, when the other timeline – the Poisoned Chocolates Timeline – was in such turmoil. It was hard enough to get the image of Max dying out of her head even while awake. Sleep would be nothing but nightmare after nightmare, for sure.
“I would prefer not to sleep for now either,” Max said. He sat down on the floor against the side of the bed, his knees curled up to his chest, finally starting to look as stressed as he must feel.
“I need some distraction,” she said, sitting down beside him.
“What kind of distraction?”
“Literally anything. Just talk to me about something. Stupid stuff. Happy things. Or funny things. I don’t care, just get my mind off those stupid chocolates.”
More like get her mind off all these stupid deaths. First she’d had to deal with seeing her snake beheaded, then suffer the pain of a nasty death by snake bite, and now witnessing Max die too? Part of her wished beyond reason that she never had these timeline powers in the first place. They were only making her unhappy. But then again, if she didn’t have these powers then she wouldn’t have been able to warn Max about the chocolates, and he would have died this time too…
“What should I talk about?” he said, his voice weak and tired. He had taken off that little heart brooch from Kim and was looking at it fondly. Those two really liked each other a lot, didn’t they?
“How such a smart, logical person like you could have been so dumb about your ridiculous crush on Kim for several months,” she suggested, smiling a little. Max began smiling too, looking embarrassed.
“I just didn’t think he would like me back…”
“Yeah, I know, you kept saying that. It was so annoying.”
“Yes, it must have been…” Some thought must have occurred to him, since his whole demeanour suddenly changed. He looked down at the floor and said, in a rather fake-casual voice, “By the way, um… you said you wanted me to talk to you about ‘stupid stuff’ well, I uh, had a bit of a question actually, I’ve been meaning to ask for a while…”
“No, I’m not telling you what happened in the lift, and it wasn’t even very stupid. It was cool.”
“Oh, it’s not that! I just… um…” He was fiddling nervously with the brooch. “From, um, a scientific point of view, because I’m curious, I was just wondering… well… everyone knows what happened at the winter party, and based on things you’ve said happened in other timelines, I wanted to ask… alright this is sounding a little stupider than intended but… do you have any tips? For kissing Kim?”
For a few seconds she just stared at him in disbelief. Whatever she had been expecting him to say, it wasn’t that.
“For science!” Max said quickly.
Science. Uh-huh. Sure.
She couldn’t help it. She burst into laughter.
“I wasn’t joking!” Max said, giving her a rather sharp poke in the arm. “If I’m going to be a good ruler then I need to have knowledge in a vast area of subjects, including romance, so…”
“It’s really not that hard,” she said, still laughing a little. Some stupid humour was indeed a very welcome distraction from traumatizing deaths. “It’s not like I knew what I was doing either, I mean, you just gotta like try to forget how gross it is and make sure you breathe, ‘cause that idiot has the best lung capacity and doesn’t need to so you better not die, and if you don’t tilt your head then your nose will get in the way and it’ll be hilarious, and he’s pretty tall so maybe stand on something…”
“I know all this already,” Max huffed. “I’ve already kissed him twice actually, and I’ll have you know that I have indeed studied the art of kissing, so I know plenty of this…”
“You’ve studied the art of–”
“For scientific purposes!” he said hastily. “For science. Of course.”
“Of course.”
“Shush. Anyway, I didn’t want generic tips. I want tips specific to Kim. What does he like? Considering how much he hates admitting that people are better than him, yet in both this timeline and others you seem to have apparently proven yourself a better kisser, you must have done something right.”
She shrugged. “Dude, Kim already likes you loads. I don’t think he really cares if you’re good at kissing or not. Just do what you want.”
“I suppose… if he survives all this assassination drama, that is… otherwise it’ll all be irrelevant anyway…”
The seriousness of the situation hit her again, like a tidal wave. But no – she didn’t want to think about it! Anything but those poisoned chocolates, the very real possibility that her friends were close to death.
“Fine, I’ll help you,” she sighed, trying not to laugh again when saw how Max’s face lit up. He was as much of a dork as Kim was, honestly. “But for the record, I’ll just warn you that kissing is totally disgusting and I don’t get how people enjoy it.”
“I think that’s just you.”
“Yeah…”
She thought back to the other timelines, carefully avoiding recent chocolate-related events, and went straight for those cursed spring holidays. Well… part of them, anyway. Thinking about them too much was definitely going to have her throwing up again, and her mood was already bad enough as it was.
“You already know what a hopeless romantic he is,” she said, “which honestly makes you a way better match for him than me, like seriously what was he thinking. Anyway, the point is that if you be really cheesy and sappy and like… I don’t know, whisper lovey-dovey stuff in his ear or whatever, he’s gonna melt. Just be really romantic.”
Max quickly stood up to grab a piece of paper and pencil off Alya’s desk, then sat back down and started writing. “Be… really… romantic…”
“Are you seriously making notes?”
“I told you, this is all purely for scientific research,” he said, still writing.
“Wow, I can’t wait for you to tell Kim that when you’re making out with him. ‘Hey Kim, isn’t this scientific research fun?’ So very romantic of you. He’ll love it.”
“Just keep going!”
“Alright…”
Trying not to gag, she carried on looking through the timelines. It was a mess. Hopefully Kim and Max’s relationship wouldn’t end up such a superficial, colossal trainwreck.
“Like I said, he has the best lung capacity,” she continued, “so he’s not very good at uh… stopping. Because he forgets that other people need to actually breathe. So don’t be afraid to just shove him away and go do something else because you’re bored or grossed out or whatever. Though I expect that won’t be a problem for you.”
“I shall practise holding my breath,” Max muttered as he continued to write.
“You’re really taking all this that seriously?”
“Yes!”
Wow… people really surprised her sometimes. All her life she had known that romance was something considered very important, yet she still often found it hard to believe that it wasn’t just some conspiracy that everyone was in on. Surely people didn’t genuinely care about it that much? But clearly Max did, and she knew that Kim did too, and so did everyone else…
She reminded herself firmly of the article in the science journal, and that being aromantic was a real thing, and that it wasn’t just her alone in the universe like this, and then she forced her bitterness out of her mind to carry on helping Max. Now was not the time to be grumpy. Especially considering everything else that was going on.
“I don’t even know why you would do this in the first place,” she said, “but if you even attempt to do that gross French-kiss thing with the tongue then he will go and get a pair of scissors and chop it off so you can never do that again. Because he actually does agree with me that tongues are gross. Though he disagrees about the teeth. Apparently those are okay for some reason.”
Max nodded, then jotted that down on the piece of paper. He really was taking this absurdly seriously. It was almost funny, really. At least she knew for certain that he loved Kim a hell of a lot.
“And I’m pretty sure he has a secret weakness for neck kisses, so uh, do that thing.”
“Doesn’t everyone?” Max asked, finally looking up.
“Man I don’t know, I’m the complete wrong person to be asking.”
He chuckled. “Oh yes, true… you have been making your distaste very clear so far…”
“Good. Hmm, what else… well he likes pillows, so he will definitely cheat on you with his imaginary pillow sweetheart. But you knew that. And he absolutely has a thing for sports bras, which you probably knew too, though I guess that might be irrelevant in your case. Who knows if it works with guys. If you’re a girl then it’s a definite shortcut to him wanting to make out with you though, that’s for sure.”
“Are you sure it was the sports bra’s fault? Are you sure it wasn’t just you?”
“Um, trust me. It was definitely the bra.”
“How do you know?”
“I just do. I’m not telling you because it’s weird. So stop being nosy.”
Max grinned. “There’s a lot you haven’t told me…”
“Yeah, because it’s weird, and I don’t want to have to think about it or I’m gonna vomit. Anyway, I’ve had enough timeline digging for today, you can figure out everything else yourself. And I’m pretty sure Kim likes you for different reasons than he liked me, so maybe everything I’ve said might be irrelevant.”
“Thank you anyway,” Max said, folding up the piece of paper and slipping it into his pocket.
At that moment the door opened and Alya came back into the room, dragging a sleepy-looking Kim in with her. She quickly shut the door behind them.
“I’ve found out some information, and also woken up Kim and explained everything, since I doubt either of you would want to have to go through that again,” she said, so fast, bringing the mood back down to how low it had been before.
Kim went and sat down on the other side of Max, giving them all a shaky smile. “This is a pretty weird thing to wake up to, isn’t it… that I’m so cool I’ve got actual assassins after me, how rad is that…”
“It won’t be so rad if they actually succeed,” Alya said, sitting on the desk chair and looking down at the three of them. “Anyway, I haven’t yet found out who did it. All I have been able to discover so far is that the school authorities have quietly disposed of the chocolates without testing them, which most likely suggests that they already knew about the assassination plot and were told to ignore it – either because they planned it, were part of it, or are allied with whoever planned it. So the culprit is probably someone from the Bourgeois Empire or one of its numerous allies. Of course, Bourgeois isn’t officially allied with Agreste until they manage to track Adrien down, but according to Chloé, Bourgeois will do anything to provide Agreste with assistance, which could involve aiding an assassination. But none of this is certain.”
That was a lot to take in at once. Alya scribbled something in her little notebook.
“I’ll carry on my investigations and try to find out who is behind this and how to stop them,” she continued. “It might take a while. In the meantime, I’ll find a way to keep you safe Kim, don’t worry. My kingdom is like this all the time, I’m used to it. Dodging assassination plots is my business. Just carry on as normal, and don’t act like anything is different. Don’t mention the poisoned chocolates to anyone.”
“I’ll try,” Kim said.
“Good. You’ll be alright. And Max, I’m glad you’re okay too. As for Alix, well… you’re going to hate me for this, but I have a difficult job for you to do. I know looking into the other timeline is the last thing you want to do right now, but if you can manage it, it might help us somehow. The death of a royalty student, and especially not the one the authorities were expecting, is high treason and would certainly be thoroughly investigated, and they might be able to find out who was responsible quicker and more accurately than I can. So if you can find out from the other timeline who the assassin is and why they did it, that can help us catch them here as quick as possible with minimal suspicion. Is that okay?”
Alix just nodded, feeling her heart sinking at the prospect of having to look at what was going on in that timeline right now. A timeline where the reality was that Max was dead, and there was nothing she could do about it. It was hard enough to not cry again when blocking out the timeline, so how was she supposed to cope when deliberately looking at it?
“I suggest you all go get some sleep now,” Alya said. “I know that seems impossible, but just try. I know what it’s like to be in danger. You’ll get through this. Now goodnight.”
“Can’t we have a sleepover?” Kim asked.
“Do you really think there’s space in here for that?”
Memories of the Imperial Prince Adrien Protection Squad suddenly flooded back into Alix’s head. “Yeah, there’s space for that,” she said.
“No there isn’t. Alix, you have a monarch-size room complete with a balcony. Us princes and princesses don’t get that.”
She looked around, realizing that it was true – Alya’s room was smaller than her own, and she had never even really noticed.
“Anyway, things will seem a little better in the morning,” Alya said. “Just get some sleep. It’ll be sorted out soon, I promise. Spymaster Alya can sort out anything.”
Alya sounded so confident, so sure of herself. Maybe she was just acting the part to get everyone to stop worrying. But it did somewhat work.
“Fine,” Alix said, standing up. “Goodnight.”
Part of her wanted to go and hug Max again, just to remind herself that he was indeed okay, that he was alive and well, that he hadn’t eaten those chocolates. But if she did then she was afraid that she would never want to let go, and everything would be overwhelming again. She just couldn’t go through that again. The feeling of having someone she cared about killed.
So instead she just waved and left the room, trudging back to her own one and trying not to imagine some cold-blooded assassin waiting in the shadows, out to get her friends. There was someone in this very building who was planning a murder at this very moment. It made her blood boil with rage.
Whoever they were, she was not going to let them get away with this.
Kim was up early the next morning. To be fair, he really hadn’t slept very much at all. After going back to his own room last night he had lain awake for hours, his mind spinning. Did someone really want to kill him? And who would be cruel enough to do it with chocolates, of all food?
The part that scared him most, though, was that somewhere in another timeline, Max had paid for it with his life. His poor, precious, sweet Max, an innocent victim. Gone forever. It sent shivers down his spine to think of losing him, made him tear up, made him want to punch a wall, all sorts of weird and terrifying emotions that he barely knew how to handle. He wanted to be worried for himself, like he knew he should be considering that someone was trying to kill him, but all he could even think about was Max.
That Max really had died, somewhere out there, and the only reason he didn’t here was down to luck alone. One tiny moth was the difference between him living and dying.
So it was really no wonder that Kim had barely got any sleep that night, considering he had just been hugging a pillow and trying to stave off the tears as best as he could. He was afraid, he was stressed, he just didn’t know what to do. How on earth was he supposed to act totally normal in the morning, as if nothing was wrong at all? How could he do that when all he wanted to do was hold Max in his arms and protect him from harm until the end of time?
Before breakfast that morning, they all met up in Alya’s room again. It was mostly by accident – clearly they all wanted to check up with her about whether her investigations had uncovered anything else, and what were they supposed to do now.
“I looked in the other timeline and found out some stuff,” Alix said, looking and sounding grumpier than Kim had ever seen her, which really was saying something. “Because of… what happened to Max… the police forces from the International Alliance got involved and worked through the night. They found out who did it and managed to track him down and arrest him. Some dude who claimed to be working for the Agreste Empire, I think his name was Theo or something. I’m not entirely sure, since the version of me from that timeline is really not in the mood for doing anything except maybe committing a few murders herself.”
“Theo?!” Alya leapt to her feet. “Are you sure?”
“I literally just said that no, I’m not sure.”
“Theo… Theo…” Alya began pacing around the room. “Surely it can’t be him. Surely not. He used to work for me, quite a while ago. But then he did take up another job… but I thought he was working for the school, not an undercover assassin from Agreste… Would he really commit a murder? Well yes, he really would… and if he’s working for the Agreste Empire, then… that could only mean…”
She stopped abruptly and looked up at the others, her face determined.
“I think I know what’s going on. You see, if Kim dies and the evidence points towards the Agreste Empire, Lê Chiến would almost certainly declare war on them, which is exactly what Emperor Gabriel would want, so he can use the unfounded accusation as an excuse to take more land without being so condemned by the other countries. In fact, Lê Chiến is already fairly weak – the previous king died in mysterious circumstances, an elderly regent is currently ruling, and they’re enemies with the most powerful empire in the world. Kim is the only thing holding the country together, and he can’t even go back there right now. If Kim dies, Agreste can attack. And that’s exactly what they want.”
None of it felt real. Here they were, a bunch of teenaged royalty, in a dorm room chatting about death, murder, global wars. Kim felt like he was going to have a heart attack every time someone mentioned him “dying”. It was so different to this time yesterday, when everything had been so blissful and perfect. How could it all have changed so fast? Did Adrien’s father really want him dead?
“Of course, since the authorities threw away the chocolates, there’s no evidence of the crimes in this timeline,” Alya said, “and I doubt Alix’s timeline powers would be enough to go upon. No one from the Bourgeois Empire would be willing to help incriminate someone from Agreste, except Chloé probably. Theo – if he really is the assassin, which seems likely – is still roaming free as a supposed school guard, and probably still trying to kill Kim. We have to find a way to stop him without raising suspicion.”
“Can I fight him?” Alix asked, completely deadpan.
“I was thinking more like hiring him as a double agent actually. I’ve worked with him before, I know him better than anyone from Agreste does. Anyway, the most important thing for now is finding a permanent solution to the question of how to keep Kim safe. We need a way for Emperor Gabriel to not think it worth it to kill him and start a war. And I’m thinking that the best way to do that is to get Lê Chiến into the International Alliance, or at least ally officially with the countries in charge of it, which would deter Emperor Gabriel from causing a war, as it would result in much deeper backlash for him.”
“Sounds like a good plan,” Max spoke up suddenly. “But how would that be possible? Kim hasn’t been crowned yet so he doesn’t have the authority to do such a thing, and his grandmother the regent is definitely not about to leave the country in order to organize it. In fact, there’s barely any way to get communications in and out of Lê Chiến, let alone people.”
“Messenger pigeon,” Alya said. “We get Kim to call Cheng, they send a pigeon to his grandma, she sends an official form giving him permission to be in charge of allies and possible entry into the International Alliance. And then you take him to Alix’s kingdom in the holidays, since they founded the International Alliance in the first place, and while he’s there he can negotiate alliances and get himself and his country some protection.”
Kim’s head was spinning again. This was all so much to take in. He wasn’t good at this politics business, he had no idea what he was doing, he couldn’t understand how any of this would stop someone halfway across the world from sending poisoned chocolates after him. He could barely understand why someone who he had never even personally met wanted him dead anyway. How could someone just be like that? Kill without a second thought? As if someone’s life just meant nothing?
He felt something on his shoulder and jumped a little, only to see that it was Max resting his hand there and looking up at him, concerned.
“Kim, are you alright with all that?”
Kim gulped and nodded. “Um… yeah. I have to get my grandmother to let me make alliances and stuff. And then stay with Alix for the holidays. And somehow try and single-handedly get my country into the International Alliance – all without being assassinated…”
It really was all starting to weigh on him now. How was he supposed to do this? He had no idea what he was doing. Barely a prince, nowhere near skilled enough to be a king, the worst possible person for being put in charge of the fate of a country – the fate of so many innocent people if war ever really did break out! This wasn’t just about his own life, this was about everyone’s life. So much overwhelming pressure… how could he even begin to do this?
“You don’t have to do it single-handedly,” Max said, his voice gentle and soothing. “We’ll be there to help you. I’ll come with you. It’ll be alright.”
Oh… that calming influence. Thank goodness for Max.
“In the meantime, I won’t let you get assassinated,” Alya said. “I have my ways. It’s better if you don’t know all the details, but trust me. You’re not going to die any time soon.”
“I’ll kickstart the alliance discussions back home if you want,” Alix said. “I can call Jalil and tell him to start getting the forms and meetings and stuff ready so that it’ll be quicker by the time we get there. Oh, and I have a venomous pet snake, so if anyone tries to hurt you then I will kill them.”
“Um, maybe don’t kill them,” Kim said.
“Okay, I will scare them away. Is that better?”
He nodded. His friends were all so brave – willing to get involved in this political mess, just for him. Going to such lengths to protect him. It almost made him want to cry.
“Anyway, we’d better go to breakfast,” Alya said, looking at the clock on her wall. “And remember, just act normal. Don’t speak about this to anyone. You never know who’s listening in. Now come on.”
She put on her glasses – had she not been wearing them before? Kim hadn’t even noticed – and went out of the door. Alix quickly followed.
Kim took a deep breath, trying to return his brain to whatever its “normal” state was. At this point he didn’t even know. Right now it didn’t feel like life could ever go back to normal again, not really. Everything was different now. He had to actually step up and be a proper prince now. He wasn’t just Kim anymore, some foolish royal kid. He was Prince Kim, heir to the throne.
“Are you alright?” Max asked him. What an impossible question to answer.
“I guess,” Kim replied, once the silence had gone on too long to bear. “Are you?”
“Well I didn’t eat any poisoned chocolates, so I suppose I’m doing fine.”
Those poisoned chocolates… oh, poor Max…
“I’m really glad you’re safe,” Kim managed to say. How was he supposed to cope the whole day if he could barely even talk to Max without feeling too overwhelmed to function?
“I’m glad you’re safe, too.”
Aware that Max’s hand was still on his shoulder, Kim reminded himself what “normal” had been for him at this time of day yesterday. Normal had been swooning over Max, his new sweetheart, showing him off for all the world to see. Normal had been laughing with his friends, not a care in the world. At least some of that could be brought back. It would be a start.
He took Max’s hand in his own and gently kissed the tips of his fingers, feeling a comforting, familiar rush of adrenaline as he did so. Max was always the one constant he could rely on in this ever-changing world, the one person who made him feel at home.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you,” he mumbled, willing himself not to cry. “You just… you… you’re…”
Max pressed his hand to Kim’s lips. “Shh. I know. I’m amazing.”
Kim couldn’t help but smile at that. “You really are.”
“And so are you, which is why all of us will always be here to help you out. Things will be okay.”
Things will be okay. It was hard to believe, but Max saying it made it sound much more real. If Max believed it, it must be true. Everything would turn out fine in the end.
“You’re a good prince,” Max continued, almost as if he could hear Kim’s thoughts. “You’ve been put into a very tough situation, but you’re doing your best, and that’s what’s important. You always do your best. It’s… part of why I like you so much…”
And now Max was looking down slightly, smiling to himself, probably blushing somewhat. It was almost too cute to bear. At least being overwhelmed by his feelings for Max was much more pleasant than being overwhelmed by the pressure of knowing an assassin was after him and his death would cause a war, so perhaps his brain really was starting to go back to normal a little. At least enough to pretend like it to the others, anyway.
“Maybe we should go down to breakfast now,” he said, a little reluctantly. Part of him wanted to just stay here with Max forever.
“Yes, I suppose we should…” It sounded like Max was just as reluctant as he was. The thought sent his heart into loops. It was still hard to believe that Max loved him back, out of all people, out of all possibilities. That was one positive thing in a sea of negativities.
All of a sudden, Max held the sides of his face and pulled him into a kiss – a soft, lingering one, so sweet he was sure his brain was melting, and despite how long it lasted it just wasn’t enough.
“I love you,” Max whispered, before taking his hand and pulling him out of the door and towards the dining hall.
Kim was a little too catatonic to say “I love you too”, so he just let himself be pulled along by his sweetheart, trying not to stare, failing miserably, falling into a hopeless lovesick daze. Drowning in his love for Max was so much more preferable to drowning under an ocean of pressure and responsibilities.
Oh… thank goodness for Max. Thank goodness for all his friends. Maybe, with their help, he really could survive this.
#eating chocolate while posting this particular chapter was probably a bad idea#royalty au#miraculous ladybug#le chien kim#max kante#alix kubdel#alya cesaire#kimax#random stuff#the misadventures of prince kim#aish writes
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yes hello i would love some sterek fic recs please? 👀 what have you been reading lately 👀
*screams* i've been reading so much!!!!!!!!!!! my brain feels like it’s been through a sterek crash course!!!!!!!!! and i hate doing fic recs because i always find more fics i wanna read!!!!!!!!! *screams louder* here are some fics for you!!!! sorry for answering so late!!!! love you A Lot!!!!!!!
you’ve got notes by the_gramophone
Stiles Stilinski has wanted star basketball player Derek Hale forever, but what are the odds of that ever happening? A love story of letters, prom, and the healing power of milkshakes.
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14,817 words
can i get your (call) number, baby? by lielabell
Thing is, for the most part, Stiles's loves his job. He loves the quiet hush of the library, the way it smells like must and old books. He likes walking through the stacks, collecting books to be shelved. Likes sitting at the reference desk, hell, he even likes the fact that they still have a card catalog, even though no one ever uses it. Everything about the job is amazing.
Except...
Except for the music majors.
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4,946 words
territorial by anxiety_baker02
Stiles managed to get himself in the middle of his pack’s turf war.He gets injured, and Derek turns him in order to save him.
Or:
In Which Derek ignores Stiles because he thinks Stiles is mad at him, Stiles thinks Derek is ignoring him because he’s pissed that Stiles is now a werewolf, and they’re both oblivious idiots.
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4,652 words
stiles, 5+1 things by anxiety_baker02
Five times Stiles wanted to know what was wrong with Derek, and the one time he figured it out.
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4,208 words
blood is (not) thicker than water by anxiety_baker02
Stiles hasn’t seen his extended family in years- mostly because they’re assholes. His cousins bully him relentlessly, and his aunts and uncles aren’t much better. So when he hears that they’re coming out for a family reunion, he’s understandably upset. He knows the next week is going to be hell, and it’s made worse when a new pack shows up, vowing revenge on their pack.
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75,113 words (wip)(it’s on the epilogue so it’s almost done)
kidnapped! (again, stiles?) by anxiety_baker02
When you fall in love with your soulmate, a soulmark appears on your arm. Stiles’ soulmark has been appearing for over six months, which just means he’s falling in love slowly. But there’s one problem- he doesn’t know who it is!
Or:
Everyone except Stiles (and who he’s in love with) knows who it is.
Also, Stiles gets kidnapped once or twice, but whatever.
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24,753 words
worlds apart by siny (*screams about this fic in multiple octaves bc LOVE her*)
Derek Hale, Heir Prince of Betonia and Italy, meets Stiles Stilinski, college boy.
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92,506 words
we should just kiss (like real people do) by i_am_girlfriday
Stiles is the social zero of the sophomore class. Derek is the much cooler junior who befriends Stiles anyway.
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9,483 words
where others fade away by pr1nc3ssp34ch (dallisons)
When the name Grzegorz tattoos itself across Derek's wrist in neat, thin strokes, his mother pats him on the head in sympathy and Laura laughs so hard she has to go to her room, the sound echoing down the hall as she goes. When it stays there for six years and no such Grzegorz appears, Derek seriously considers moving to Poland.
Meanwhile, on Stiles' eighteenth birthday when Derek crawls onto his skin, untidy and volatile, Lydia shrieks in sudden realization, and Jackson looks so entirely offended that even Danny can't kiss him back to normal.
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9,054 words
then you’ll get along by scepticallyopenminded
“Stiles, stop hitting on my deputies and bring me dinner, would you?” The Sheriff sticks his head out of his office then, and Stiles blushes as amusement settle on Derek’s face. He watches as Stiles glares at him with a “shut it”, but Derek just gives him a wink. Stiles trips a little as he starts walking away, but looks back at Derek with wide eyes before smirking again.
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650 words
love, physics and post-it notes by inessa_caliburn
A Lit student's awkward attempts at wooing an Astrophysics student with cheesy pick-up lines with a (vaguely) scientific tone.
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3,533 words
baking my way into your heart by thesilence (the love I have for this fic wow)
Derek is an uptight college student, all work and no play. His carefully scheduled life is thrown kilter when his regular barista is replaced with someone new.
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178,360 words
let’s not fake this by foxerica (ericismeg)
Two idiots in love who think having a fake relationship and a fake breakup is the way to handle clearing the air when some people assume they’re dating... because that’s what they told them.
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5,650 words
diamond by ericaismeg
Allison and Lydia own an wedding planning company called, Allydia Diamond Events. Stiles has been working for them for four years as their caterer. Their latest client? Erica Reyes from high school. She brings in Derek Hale with her.
Derek used to hate Stiles in high school, and he clearly still does. That doesn't stop Stiles from crushing on his client - knowing he's getting married doesn't stop him.
Only Derek's not getting married to Erica. He's just lost his ability to speak around Stiles. Again.
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8,926 words
haze by ericaismeg
BASED ON THIS TUMBLR POST: i really want an “i accidentally broke into your house/apartment because my friend lives next door to you and i was in the area, drunk, and i thought i was climbing into the right window and falling asleep on the right couch (and i did wonder when my friend got two cats but i didn’t question it) so now i’m hungover and shirtless in your living room so um hi howya doin” au
* * *
In Stiles' drunken haze, he breaks into the wrong dorm room. But then Derek's making him breakfast, and he thinks he should do this more often.
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4,817 words
simple by ericaismeg
Stiles' ex-boyfriend, Jackson, is at the same bar. With Stiles' longtime crush, Lydia Martin. Stiles needs a fake boyfriend yesterday. Who better than Mr. Grumpy Pants who he'd almost spilled his drink on earlier?
Not to mention, damn, Mr. Grumpy Pants is hot. And that's why Jackson's not buying the fact that they're dating.
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4,460 words
knowledge by ericaismeg
Stiles crashes in Lydia's bedroom during one of her parties, and Derek comes in to hide there.
He learns some stuff about the popular jock - like the fact that he's fun to flirt with.
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3,383 words
pretty words by ericaismeg
“Anything for my favourite wolf.”“I beat Scott?” Derek's surprised.Stiles snorts. “Dude, no one beats Scott. That's like a given.”Derek rolls his eyes. “And for a second there, I thought that you might be a romantic.”“You want romance? Oh, hell yes, I can romance the fuck out of you, wolfie. Just wait.”“I'm dying in anticipation,” Derek deadpans.
OR: The one where Stiles and Derek try to out-romance each other, and Derek realizes that he has feelings for none other than Stiles Stilinski.
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8,321 words
denial by ericaismeg
Scott thinks they're flirting. Isaac's betting on Derek sniffing him. The Sheriff thinks they're dating. Erica and Boyd are rooting for them. Derek's waiting for him to figure it out.
Stiles is the only one in denial.
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4,924 words
outside by ericaismeg
Stiles just kind of barges into Derek's life, and falls down more than one should. That's okay though, because Derek invests in a great First Aid kit, and patches Stiles up.
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4,593 words
114% hotter than usual by ericaismeg
Stiles has a crush on the local weatherman, and then they meet at a party.
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3,081 words
i have a fiancé by lemnerd
“I can’t wait to marry you.” the man says.
“Okay, but I already have a fiancé. His name is Derek.” Stiles hears himself saying.
Wherein Stiles is extremely drunk and makes out with his fiancé, without knowing that his fiancé is his fiancé. It’s all very confusing.
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1,999 words
are you bored yet? by lemnerd
Derek's date isn't going to show up anytime soon, so he figures he might as well just get going. He wants to go home and curl up on the couch and read Hemmingway. It's Friday, anyway. He doesn't want to spend his valuable Friday in a restaurant being stood up.He's just going to go home, and have a nice, quiet evening.
Then someone sits down across from him. It's definitely not his date, it's a boy who looks fearful.
"Hey! Thanks for waiting for me," he says. Except Derek's sure he's never met the kid in his life.
"Uh." Derek responds, eloquently.
The boy holds his phone up in Derek's face. The screen doesn't have a picture of a puppy, though. It has the following words:
PLEASE HELP ME, I'M BEING FOLLOWED BY SOME CREEPY GUY.
or the one where Derek gets stood up by his actual date, and a stranger needs him to be his pretend date.
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1,564 words
until i stayed away too long by melofttroll
NY Times bestseller Derek Hale hates a lot of things about being a modern author. Like being recognized, like needing a social media presence, like not being able to buy his own boxed spaghetti noodles without being asked for a selfie. Facing writer's block, he escapes to his old hometown of Beacon Hills, at his sister's insistence, for some reprieve and hopefully motivation. It's there his attention is captured by a gangly, socially awkward teacher, and the tiny little toddler at his side who know him only as that one basketball player who fled town at fifteen after his girlfriend burnt his house down.
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14,847 words
awful, wonderful you by stilinkskisparkles
Truth be told, Derek was suffering from the mild delusion he lived in all summer wherein he actually thought this year might be different, and he might, perhaps, be able to bury the hatchet with Stiles and start over.
The superglue that’s destroyed a ninety dollar pair of pants, however, says otherwise. Derek knows how this play goes down; eventually, he’s going to have to climb out of the pants and trudge back to his dorm half naked. Stiles will gloat for a damn week; Derek will have to put up with constant remarks about Stiles getting him out of his pants... Dammit, he’s actually going to get Derek out of his pants, and it’s not even close to the way he pictured it happening.
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16,925 words
celebrity crush by rarepairenabler
Stiles wasn’t expecting to meet his favourite actor when Scott helped him land an internship on the set of Jackson’s new film, and he certainly wasn’t expecting Derek to fall in love with him. Not that Stiles was complaining.
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30,307 words
a nice ring to it by jomouse (ziam/sterek crossover brooooooo!!!!!!)
Stiles and Derek are in England to visit Jackson and the Windsor Pack. While there, they meet a powerful magic-user and his protector.
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11,011 words
like a flower bending in the breeze (you have a way with me)
by awaitthemorrow
The thing is that Stiles and Derek are kind of pretty good friends now. They watch baseball together, talk about their lives (and their friends) over take-out, they exchange texts all the time about stupid, non-supernatural stuff. Just last week they saw some arty-farty indie film that they both hated.
So what if Stiles has a tiny, minuscule crush on the guy? It's not worth rocking the boat over.
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5,640 words
driving mr. stilinski by literaryoblivion
Out of breath and a little sweaty, Stiles says, “That was close.”
His driver looks at him through the rearview mirror, an eyebrow raised. “Where to, Mr. Stilinski?” he asks.
Stiles runs a hand through his hair and sighs. “Derek, how many times do I have to tell you, please call me Stiles. Every time you say Mr. Stilinski, I think of my dad and just no.”
Derek shrugs and looks in the mirror, expectant. Stiles stares back at him in the mirror, just as expectant, lifting his brow a little until Derek huffs and rolls his eyes. “Stiles, where would you like me to drive you?”
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2,428 words
starstruck (or not) by literaryoblivion
Derek takes his daughter Lia to a convention of her favorite TV show because he's a good dad (and can't seem to tell his daughter no) and ends up meeting a special someone.
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4,158 words
a lifetime (with you) by charlesdk
If you ask him, Derek will tell you he's doing fine. He's raising his five year old daughter, Erica, on his own, he has his family and a book series published that's pretty popular and sold well. Under a pseudonym, sure, but it counts.
He'll tell you he's doing pretty alright – right up until Stiles Stilinski stumbles into his and Erica's lives and never really leaves again.
Derek's world gets shaken up, but things get better. Slowly, for all of them.
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30,793 words
i’ll stop the world and dance with you by im2old4thisotp
Stiles Stilinski is a widow and a single father, navigating the world the best he can with his 8-year-old daughter Emilie.
Parent's Night at her ballet school is the problem.
A rainbow tutu is the solution.
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10,300 words
parent volunteering by charwright5
Derek is battling a crush on his young daughter's third grade teacher, so naturally, he's stuck as the parent volunteer during the school's Polar Express event the last half-day of school before Christmas break.
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10,217 words
last lovesong of a dying lemon by wldnst
Stiles' Jeep keeps breaking down. Derek is a mechanic.
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10,424 words
the best men by grimmypuff
Planning a wedding? Not really something Stiles ever wanted to do, thanks. But when best bro duty calls, you answer. Luckily, another best bro has been called up as well. Enter Derek Hale.
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12,939 words
for goodness cakes by yodasyoyo
Derek owns a bakery and Stiles comes in wanting something for a broken heart (very over-dramatic about it) but he gets so distracted by the cake (muscles) that he totally forgets alllll about it.
OR: Stiles eats a lot of cake. Derek's communication skills are lacking. And they bitch and snark their way to a happy ending.
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3,462 words
good intentions by yodasyoyo
In which Stiles thought he fake wolf-married Derek twenty-six years previously. Turns out it wasn't as fake as he thought.
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4,023 words
#I have...……..so many new fics to read now...……….I will be providing y'all with#an updated list within the next week - whether you want it or not thank you good byE#ADLFJADLFJD#love you ems love love love you thANKS BYE
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all the writer asks? and can you use your current story for the blank ones?
1. Favorite place to write.
My most productive nights writing were spent in hotel rooms with cheap black coffee and terrible lighting. It sets a very motivating vibe.
2. Favorite part of writing.
Creating and developing characters. Character arcs?? are ?? my favorite??
3. Least favorite part of writing.
writing ™
4. Do you have writing habits or rituals?
Yeah, procrastinating for months. :’)
5. Books or authors that influenced your style the most.
Patrick Ness and Stephen Chbosky are pretty big idols of mine
6. Favorite character you ever created.
Cadence, she’s my hero
7. Favorite author.
Rainbow Rowell or Patrick Ness
8. Favorite trope to write.
Coming of Age Angst ™ and realistic development for the main character
9. Least favorite trope to write.
Love triangles or over-dramatic and non-realistic romantic interests.
10. Pick a writer to co-write a book with and tell us what you’d write about.
I’d love to work with Chbosky and write a spin-off of Perks of Being a Wallflower, or like a potential sequel? That would make my actual dreams come true.
11. Describe your writing process from scratch to finish.
In the beginning, I print off a million character questionnaires and fill out every detail about my main characters. It’s funny, because my characters always come first, and the story soon follows. After I know my characters inside and out, I think in their mindset for days and write down notes about things I for sure want to include in my story whether it be a plot twist or just a small piece of dialogue. Once I find the character’s voice, I feel ready to start writing the story.
12. How do you deal with self-doubts?
I’m still not great with this, because I have a LOT of self-doubt, but I know that writing is what I want to pursue. I just remember that I have talent and I shouldn’t worry about the first draft because the first draft is almost always awful.
13. How do you deal with writers block?
I read. A lot. Reading helps spark ideas and un-stick my story.
14. What’s the most research you ever put into a book?
OH MY GOD. I would look at maps and historic timelines. I filled nearly 4-5 pages of a journal just with a timeline of events and it was lit.
15. Where does your inspiration come from?
Literally anything. That bench on the corner? INSPIRED. Pulling out of a driveway? INSPIRED. That sandwich looks tasty. INSPIRED. No, but in all seriousness I just observe my surroundings at all times and in an average day I can pull an idea out of something.
16. Where do you take your motivation from?
I just think of my future and what impact/ message I’d like to leave behind to anybody who reads my writing.
17. On avarage, how much writing do you get done in a day?
None. Writing isn’t something I can do everyday. Some days I’m more inspired and motivated than others. If I try writing when I don’t have the energy, it turns out forced and choppy. I let the motivation come to me.
18. What’s your revision or rewriting process like?
I typically like to wait a week or two before re-reading and editing, that way I can have space from my writing. I do it gradually through out the story so I can draw potential ideas from what I have so far.
19. First line of a WIP you’re working on.
Version 1: “The shop had been empty for a little over an hour, and Charlotte was beginning to grow restless.”
Version 2: “Charlotte had a look of determination set in the furrow of her eyebrows and curiosity in the gleam of her eyes.”
20. Post a snippet of a WIP you’re working on.
“Whenever Jordyn spoke, it was reminiscent of watching an old southern film. Her slight, hidden drawl was nothing less than soothing. Charlotte sometimes liked to picture her with obnoxiously tight ringlet curls and big, poofy southern belle dresses with frilly ribbons and lace. The thought brought a subtle snort from Charlotte.”
21. Post the last sentence you wrote in one of your WIP’s.
Version 1: “He just followed his feet, and they lead him to her.”
Version 2: “His only response was a smirk before he opened the door to the back alley.”
22. How many drafts do you need until you’re satisfied and a project is ultimately done for you?
At least a million
23. Single or multi POV, and why?
Single, I feel like it leaves for more mystery. That way the reader can interpret different POV’s for themselves.
24. Poetry or prose, and why?
Prose, rhyming isn’t my forte
25. Linear or non-linear, and why?
Depends on the story I’m trying to tell. Sometimes one way has more impact than another.
26. Standalone or series, and why?
Standalones are beautiful for some stories, but others simply must be more than just one book long. Some stories exceed one book.
27. Do you share rough drafts or do you wait until it’s all polished?
I share drafts with people I trust to edit or give me feedback.
28. And who do you share them with?
My friends that love stories.
29. Who do you write for?
Mainly for myself, but also for anybody that needs to hear the message my story can offer them.
30. Favorite line you’ve ever written.
“So, as a sign of letting go, I introduced my lips to his cheek and the sound of my skin meeting his was a melody playing a sweet goodbye.”
“Kissing him was like kissing air or water, it was so sweet and slow that it was a natural instinct to flow with it. However, kissing her was like fire because it was warm, inviting, and compelling, but had all the potential to burn him. Their love was like melting into each other, neither would make it out alive.”
31. Hardest character to write.
Side characters or the main character’s family. Because those characters are always important and meaningful, but I don’t want to write them only as a means of helping the main character. I hate flat characters and everybody deserves to have a story, you know?
32. Easiest character to write.
The sidekick ™
The one who always knows just what to say and how to say it.
33. Do you listen to music when you’re writing?
Only for specific scenes that music could really inspire me for. Like if I’m writing a sad scene and I’m not really in that head space, I listen to depressing ass music so I can understand the scene better.
34. Handwritten notes or typed notes?
Both. Here, have some of my notes.
Just some random dialogue drabbles:
“So, can I find you here often?” “Jamie…I work here.” “Oh, yeah, right. Of course.”
“There’s nothing beautiful nor poetic about being an asshole, Jenny. Calm down.”
“Listen, you’ll always be a jalapeno bagel and strawberry cream cheese to me, but I sort of feel like I should know your name by now.”
“Emma, have you ever been in love?” “I might have been. Then again, girls are easy to love, I’m pretty sure Jamie is a different story. If you want my advice Charlotte, date a girl.”
35. Tell some backstory details about one of your characters in your story ________.
The main character is named Charlotte Caroline Tillman. She’s named after the city and state(ish) that her parents met in. She has an older brother named Chance and a calico cat named Sally Mae. Charlotte goes to an Arts Magnet High School and she has a troubled history with her father, and a lot of the story is about her accepting things she cannot change. Her best friend, Emma, is v gay and v hot.
36. A spoiler for story _________.
Charlotte ends up leaving town and everyone she loves. All that’s left behind is a note and a phone number. She leaves her life behind. No closure and no goodbyes. She’s kind of a dick.
37. Most inspirational quote you’ve ever read or heard that’s still important to you.
“That’s where you’re wrong. Everybody has a story, and every one is worth being told.”
38. Have you shared your outline of your story ________ with someone? If so, what did they think of it?
Lol no, my outline isn’t even finished homeboy
39. Do you base your characters of real people or not? If so, tell us about one.
I usually base my side characters off of people I know or have met, even if only for a brief moment. For example, today at work I saw somebody and instantly knew that I needed her in my story. She is now the inspiration for my character Jenny.
40. Original Fiction or Fanfiction, and why?
Both are equally fun and important. Fanfiction is an amazing starting point for beginners, and it helps them write. However, original fiction is so raw and new that it could inspire future writers.
41. How many stories do you work on at one time?
Typically just one, but I always have other stories in the back of my head. I like to focus on one at a time though, that way I can keep characters and plot points straight.
42. How do you figure out your characters looks, personality, etc.
Well, like I’ve said, my characters come first. So based on whatever kind of story I want to tell, my character has to portray that. So I pick and choose different tropes and arc ideas that could impact the story even further.
43. Are you an avid reader?
I heckin’ try to be. Sadly, I don’t always get into stories easily.
44. Best piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.
I had an English teacher write a note on one of my writing pieces telling me that she knew I had talent and every teacher has one student where they think “That one…that one’s gonna be the one who makes it” I was that student for her. Oh, and my composition professor had my class read some of our writing pieces, and he told the next semester’s class about my writing. The next time I had him in class, he handed me a form for a writing contest.
45. Worst piece of feedback you’ve ever gotten.
I honestly probably blocked it out. Idk, probably that I use too many commas? Or that one of my chapters was written in a passive voice.
46. What would your story _______ look like as a tv show or movie?
OH MAN! It would be great and I feel like a lot of the stories I write would be 100 times better on the big screen.
47. Do you start with characters or plot when working on a new story?
Characters.
48. Favorite genre to write in.
Contemporary or science fiction
49. What do you find the hardest to write in a story, the beginning, the middle or the end?
The middle
50. Weirdest story idea you’ve ever had.
A coven of teenage witches that were randomly selected to be given magic. Some of them became corrupt with power, and the others found good use for them.
51. Describe the aesthetic of your story _______ in 5 sentences or words.
Self love, friendship, denial, heavy, heartbreaking
52. How did writing change you?
It opened my mind to endless ideas and helped me grow. I often didn’t know what I was feeling until I wrote about it.
53. What does writing mean to you?
It means creating a million versions of yourself and turning it into a lesson or inspiration for other.
54. Any writing advice you want to share?
Don’t stop. There are so many things you have to tell the world, so tell them.
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