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wiypt-writes · 3 years

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Riding High

Ch21: The Truth ‘Bill’ Out…

Chapter Summary: Fliss and Frank both struggle to deal with the aftermath of their break up.

Chapter Warnings: Bad Language words.

Chapter Pairings: Frank Adler x OFC Fliss Gallagher

A/N: Ok, I’m sorry I upset you with the last chapter…

Disclaimer: This is a pure work of fiction and classified as 18+. Please respect this and do not read if you are underage. I do not own any characters in this series bar Fliss Gallagher and the other OCs. By reading beyond this point you understand and accept the terms of this disclaimer.

Riding High Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Chapter 20

Take a shot in the rain, one for the pain, and listen up

Frank woke the next morning fully clothed on the sofa. Squinting, he groaned at the pain in his head, scrambling to find his phone. As he swiped it to cancel his alarm, his thumb paused as he glanced at the photo of Fliss and Mary on the screen. Swallowing he turned the screen off, tossed his phone onto the table and pushed himself up, trudging to the shower.

He had spent most of the night drinking the expensive scotch his mother had bought him, trying to understand what had happened. He had tried to call Fliss, messaged her but her response had been a single text telling him she was sorry and requesting that he respect her decision. The worst thing had been trying to explain to Mary. Frank didn't believe in lying to her, certainly not if he could help it, but he had completely chickened out and told her that Fliss had some paperwork to do and would be staying at the annex for the night. Mart had accepted this, and it had bought him enough time to figure out what the fuck he was going to say.

He stumbled into the shower and then decided that the state his head was in he wasn't going to function in work. So once he was dried and had awoken Mary, he called his supervisor and said he had a migraine so wouldn't be in. He then made Mary a sandwich and then once she was packed off on the bus he turned and headed back home.

Once in the living room he looked around. It was littered with reminders of her. Photos, a hoody draped over the back of the chair, those fucking scatter cushions on the sofa. It was screaming at Frank to get rid if it all, but he couldn't. Not yet. He was still clinging to something desperate hope that she would come back, explaining what had happened and they'd work through it.

And then there was a knock at the door. He paused for a moment, before it opened and a familiar voice called his name.

"Frank? Son?"

He turned to face Bill as he walked through the door.

"She sent you for her stuff?" Frank asked and Bill eyed him for a moment before he shook his head.

"No. She hasn't. And, well even if she asked me to come get it I wouldn't...this is her mess, not mine."

Frank looked at him for a moment before he shrugged and headed into the kitchen grabbing the coffee from the cupboard.

"So what are you here for, Bill?"

"Honestly?" Bill raised his eyebrows, "to see how you were..."

"Fucking marvellous." Frank said, slamming the cupboard shut. "M’girlfriend's left me, giving me no reason, I'm hungover to shit and at some point today I gotta figure out what I tell Mary."

He leaned back against the kitchen counter and pinched his nose before he scrubbed his hand down his face.

"How is she?" Frank looked at Bill. Bill sighed and shook his head.

"Hardly said a word since she came home yesterday evening." Bill shrugged. "Other than to tell she had ended things with you, that it was her decision and she wasn't going into it."

"She didn’t go into it with me either so..." Frank snorted, shaking his head. "So if you've come to find out what’s going on I can't help you because I don’t know."

"No, honestly Frank...I meant it when I said I came to see how you were. V and I were worried..."

Frank was about to shoot some sarcastic response back but when he saw Bill's face was arranged with genuine concern he simply shrugged and looked down, shaking his head.

"I love her, Bill...and I thought things were going great. I just don't understand."

With a sigh Bill stepped forward and gripped Frank's shoulder.

"I'm really mad at her Frank." Bill sighed. "But I know she’s hurting too...don't give up on her. Not just yet."

Frank scratched at his head as Bill released his grip on his shoulder. "She made it quite clear she doesn’t want to see me or talk to me.”

"She doesn’t know what she wants" Bill shook his head. "All am asking is that you at least try to talk to her."

"I need time too, Bill." Frank sighed. "I'm angry and upset myself. I can't face her yet. It’s gonna be bad enough taking Mary up to see Monty..."

"I know." Bill nodded. “And if you ever want me to take Mary instead so you don’t have to, certainly for the time being, I'm happy to do so."

Frank nodded. “Thanks Bill."

"Well you know where to find me." Bill shrugged as he took a deep breath. “Look, you know me and Verity love you and Mary, we really do. Verity’s besides herself at the possibility you’re not gonna be in our lives again, and-“

He trailed off and Frank saw a flicker of worry flash across the older man's face.

"Bill..." Frank shook his head gently. "I'll not stop you and Verity seeing Mary. As long as you're happy to do so. I just, well I just don’t want it to be awkward for you and Fliss, meaning there's to be a point later where you leave her life too. She’s had enough turmoil over the last twelve months to last a lifetime ..."

"No I get that." Bill nodded. “And thanks Frank. You're a good man."

Frank nodded and Bill gave him another small smile before he turned and headed out.

***** Mary didn’t take the news brilliantly, as Frank had anticipated. She’d teared up and asked Frank why Fliss wanted to leave them, to which Frank had answered as honestly as he could, that he simply didn’t know but that it was nothing to do with her. And then she’d surprised him by saying, for the first time ever that she didn’t want to go to Roberta’s that night, but she wanted to stay with him. They ordered pizza and watched a film, huddled together on the sofa. She didn’t mention Fliss again other than to say she didn’t want to go for her riding lesson either the next day, instead saying she would go during the week. Out of courtesy more than anything Frank messaged Fliss to let her know. After an hour or so she replied simply to tell him that it was fine and she would make sure he was looked after.

Monday morning rolled around and Frank was glad of the distraction if he was honest, burying himself into his work. And during the day he was ok because his mind was busy but in the evening, after Mary had gone to bed and he himself was getting ready to hit the sack, he found himself simply staring at Fliss’s toothbrush and toiletries. Unable to look at them anymore he grabbed the various bottles of stuff belonging to her and placed them all in one of the wicker boxes held under the sink in the unit.

Tuesday evening he spent with Simon and Greg. Simon had heard from Bonnie what had happened when she had called Fliss. Simon informed Frank that Fliss had refused to talk to Bonnie about it and just asked the woman to leave it alone. They had a few beers, talked, it was a good distraction for a while but again once they left, Frank was alone with his thoughts and an aching in his chest.

And it wasn’t just his thoughts. It was the physical reminders. As well as the photos and cushions, there was the dog basket in the bedroom that belonged to Thor, when he decided to sleep on it and not Mary’s bed that is. Fliss’ favourite mug, the blue and gold shimmering wine glasses they’d bought at IKEA, her clothes in the fucking closet. Frank had no idea what he was supposed to do. Did he pack it up and take it to her, or wait for her to come and claim it?

Wednesday morning Mary told him she wanted to go and see Mary so Frank nodded. He wasn’t sure how he felt about it. On the one hand he was happy he’d at least get to see Fliss, maybe they could have a reasonable conversation but on the other he knew seeing her was going to tear him in two. He also was a little worried how Mary was going to react. He called Fliss, and unsurprisingly she didn’t pick up. But she did call him back a little after lunch.

“Hi.” he said, a little nervously as he answered.

“HI.” she replied quietly “I err, I had a call so…”

“Oh, yeah, erm, Mary wants to come up and see Monty so I wanted to make sure it was ok.” “Of course its ok.” she said gently, “Frank, I’d never stop her coming up to see her pony.”

“No I know that, I just…” Frank took a deep breath, “It doesn’t matter, we’ll see you later.” “Ok, erm, bye.” “Yeah, bye.”

He cut the call, his throat was dry and he felt like his heart was about to pound out through his chest. And that had been simply at the sound of her voice. It had been a week since he’d heard it and now it had knocked him for six. And suddenly he wasn’t looking forward to seeing her at all.

****** Fliss tossed her phone down and ran her hands over her face. She was tired. Since moving back into the annex she hadn’t been sleeping properly, having nightmares for the first time in almost a year. She wasn’t eating either and she was continually snapping at her parents too as they were crowding her she felt. Almost as much as when she had left Boston. She knew they were simply concerned, as was Bonnie but she just simply wanted to be left alone. She was hurting too, leaving Frank had killed her, it was the worst thing she had ever been through, worse than any beating John had inflicted on her.

She also knew at some point she was going to have to face him, go round and collect her stuff. Her mum and dad had made it quite clear they weren’t going to bail her out on that one, which was understandable she guessed. They were upset too, her dad especially as he was very close to Frank, and they both loved Mary as if she was their own grandchild.

It wasn’t just her own life or Frank’s she’d thrown into chaos, it was theirs too.

She wiped at her eyes, stood up and headed out into the late October sun, striding over to the paddock as she rolled her shoulder which was sore from the tumble out of bed she’d taken in the middle of the night. It was her dodgy shoulder, the one John had dislocated as part of one of his beatings, so she knew that was going to be troubling her for a good week or so now she’d jarred it again. But in some sick, twisted way she relished the pain. A physical manifesto of the agony she was feeling inside.

She had three clients that afternoon, so the time whizzed by and before she knew it it was half four and Mary would be arriving any second. She turned and headed into her office, trying to calm herself down, feeling her anxiety spiking. Thor, having sensed it, gently nuzzled his nose onto her lap as he always did and she sat for a quiet fifteen minutes simply breathing and stroking his soft head and ears, glad he was giving her something of a grounding. And then his ears pricked up as he caught the familiar sound of Frank’s truck and giving a low whine of excitement he shot off across the yard.

Taking a deep breath Fliss stood up and walked out of her office and saw Frank walking onto the main courtyard, Mary’s hand in his.

“HI…” Fliss greeted him a little tentatively, and he gave her a small smile, his eyes hidden behind his aviators.

“Hi.” he said gently.

“HI Mary.” Fliss looked at her and Mary glanced up, before she looked away.

“Hi.” she replied a little stiffly. Fliss swallowed and then took a deep breath.

“Do you want to ride today or…” “No.” Mary shook her head “Not with you.” “Mary.” Frank looked down at her “Remember what I said in the truck…”

Mary took a deep breath and looked down at her feet, her boots kicking at the slate gravel which covered the yard before she looked up at Fliss “I just want to do my jobs and brush him today.” “Okay, well, he’s in the pasture. Do you want me to come-“ “I’ll ask Joanna.” Mary said, as she let go of Frank’s hand.

“She’s in the back barn, tell her I sent you.” Mary didn’t reply, she simply headed off.

“She’s upset.” Frank explained as he watched her go. He turned to Fliss and shrugged “She’ll come round.”

Fliss gave him a small smile. “Do you want a drink or anything?”

“No, I’m good, thanks.” he shook his head “Think I’m gonna go with Stack, actually.” “Sure.” Fliss nodded, “I’ll be in the office. If she needs me or changes her mind about riding, just…” Frank gave her a tight smile again before he headed off.

Fliss watched him leave, claiming her hand over her mouth tightly before she pinched the bridge of her nose, screwing up her eyes to try and stem the tears which were threatening to come. Composing herself she turned and headed back into her office and started to busy herself with some lesson plans.

It was about forty minutes later when there was a knock at the door and Frank poked his head in.

“We’re gonna get off.” he said, “Do you want Monty back out or…”

“No, it’s fine.” she stood up “I’ll do it later once he’s been fed.” At that he nodded, turning to go.

“Is Mary ok?” Fliss asked and Frank stopped. He took a deep breath and turned to face her.

“What do you think?” Frank’s voice was a little harsher than it had been before and Fliss hung her head.

“Sorry. Can I talk to her.” “Be my guest.” he shrugged, turning once more to leave “Not sure it will do you much good.”

Fliss rose from her chair, her hands shaking a little as she headed out after him. Mary was packing her brushes back in the little box kept by Monty’s stable.

“Hey.” Fliss greeted her “Was he a good boy?” “He’s always a good boy.” Mary shrugged, standing up and stroking his nose.

“That’s true.” Fliss said, her hands slipping into the pockets of her breeches. “So, do you want to ride at weekend? We can try that jumping…”

"Why don't you love me or Frank anymore?" Mary cut her off, spinning to face her. Fliss felt her heart break even further as she looked at the little girl who was staring at her, her large eyes wide and wet with tears. "No, no Mary..." she crouched down and looked at the girl. "I do. I do love you, I love you so much, I just..." "You just don't love Frank anymore?" Fliss took a deep breath, a tear rolling down her cheek. “I'll always love Frank." "Then why did you leave our home?" Mary began to sob. "What did he do?" "Mary." Fliss shook her head "I just had to. I wish I could explain it better but I can't. You're too young to..." "Stop saying that!" Mary yelled and she spun round, pointing at Frank who had up until that point had been stood at the door to the barn, deliberately looking the other way. Hearing her outburst he turned in time to see Mary raise her hand towards him. "He keeps telling me that too, but I'm not stupid! Why do you both keep treating me like I am?" "Mary..." Frank said softly as he strode towards her. "Come on..." "I hate you.” Mary glared at Fliss who looked as though she has been physically slapped. Her head dropped and she looked down at the floor taking a deep breath. "Mary." Frank shook his head "Don’t say that." "I do." Mary's face was full of rage "She made you cry, she made me cry! She promised she would always be there and now she's not and..." "Okay." He said gently, crouching down in front of her, a meter or so away from Fliss. "I get that you're angry but be kind huh?” "Why should I?" Mary shook her head. "Because I'm asking ya to." Frank said softly. "I told you before on the way here that this..." he gestured with his hand between himself and Fliss, his eyes flicking to the woman's face as she wiped a tear from her cheek, “us breaking up...it doesn’t mean that Fliss doesn't care about you." "If she did she wouldn't be leaving me!" Mary blazed and at that point Frank shook his head. "It’s me she's leaving Stack, not you."

Fliss took a deep breath and stood up, turning away, her hand covering her mouth. Frank glanced up at her before he turned to Mary.

"Go wait in the truck." He said to her gently "I won’t be be long"

Mary shot one last look at Fliss before she did as Frank had said and headed off out of the barn and disappeared out of sight.

"Sorry." Frank looked at Fliss as she turned to face him "She shouldn't have said that."

"It doesn't matter..." Fliss shook her head avoiding his gaze. "She’s every right to be angry. I have let her down."

"I think it might be best, certainly for the foreseeable if you take care of Monty." Frank kept his voice even and Fliss looked up at him, a mix of sadness and surprise on her face.

"But he is her pony..."

"Oh come on Fliss." He snorted and shook his head. “Surely you can't be that naive as to think that thinks could just carry on..."

"No but..."

"How can I bring her here if every time she comes she’s gonna react like that?" Frank ran his hand through his hair. “It's me that has to deal with the fall out and I'm struggling to deal with my own feelings at the moment"

“Okay, if that’s what you want…” “No, I don’t want!” Frank shook his head. “I don’t want any of this, but you’ve made it perfectly clear you do and I’ll respect that. I just wish you respected me enough to tell me why.” “Frank, please…” “You left, with no explanation, other than it wasn’t working, but there’s more to it, I can see it written on your face.” his voice was level but his jaw was twitching “Don’t you think I have a right to know?” Fliss tipped her head back and looked up at the sky, blinking back her tears as he continued.

“How would you feel if I had walked out on you, with nothing more than some shitty explanation about it not working and needing space, when a month before we’d been planning for a future together? Fliss, I wanted to marry you, spend my forever with you and…” He trailed off, shaking his head looking around “I’ve spent the last week in a daze, I lay awake at night trying to understand and I just can’t…and that’s the worst bit.” Fliss looked down at her feet and shook her head softly.

“And that’s all you can do or say?” Frank snorted “Absolutely fucking nothing?”

“I’m sorry.” she looked at him, her eyes full of tears “I really am.”

“Yeah, well, so am I.” he said simply, “let me know when you want to collect your stuff from the apartment, I’ll make sure it’s ready.” and with that he turned and left.

*****

“I think it’s the fuel line…” Bill walked back into the office where Fliss and Verity were sat having a coffee whilst he had been taking a look at Fliss’ wagon. It was early Friday evening and she’d wanted nothing more than to load Heidi up and take her for a blast down the beach to clear her mind, but when she had gone to start the wagon to move it out so she could load up her tack it had refused to start. “But I can’t be certain. Not something I can sort really…you’ll need a mechanic.” he turned to look at her “If only you knew one…” “Don’t start Dad.” Fliss shook her head. “Just…”

“Bill…” Verity gave him a warning glare, and Bill simply took a deep breath, shaking his head.

“I’ll speak to Alan, see if he knows a decent one that can come look at it.”

“Thanks.” Fliss said, standing up “I’m gonna go check the fields. Can you just throw the keys back in the drawer?”

“Sure, see you at home yeah?”

She nodded, called Thor to her and headed out.

Bill shook his head and moved to open the drawer to the desk. He tossed the keys inside, and then frowned as he saw the manila envelope that was stuffed inside.

“What is it?” Verity asked.

“That…that’s a Boston post mark….” he mumbled, lifting it out. With a frown, knowing full well there was only one person really from Boston that would be sending Fliss stuff, he turned it over and pulled out the printed photograph. His eyes scanned it and he let out an angry noise and strode out into the courtyard.

“Fliss!” he bellowed “Fliss, get back here right now…” “What’s going on?” Verity asked, and he thrust the photo at her by means of an explanation.

Fliss, having heard her dad shouting stopped dead and turned back to look at the office. She glanced down at Thor before she turned back and headed towards him.

“What’s…” she stopped dead as she saw the envelope on the desk and the photo in her mother’s hand.

“Care to explain this?” Bill said, snatching the paper out of Verity’s fingers and slamming it down on the desk."

"You had no right to go looking through my stuff." she looked at him, angrily.

"Oh cut the crap, Liss." Bill shook his head “When did you get that?”

“Last Wednesday.” she said softly.

“Last Wednesday?” Verity frowned, “that was the day you finished with Frank…” she trailed off as the dots connected in her head as Fliss looked down at the floor. “Oh please tell me I’m wrong…”

Fliss didn’t respond.

“I cannot believe you.” Bill looked at her “This? This is why you ended it? Over some pathetic threat without even telling him?"

"It isn’t pathetic!" Fliss looked up at her dad, her eyes blazing. "I know what he is capable of..."

"Well in that case don't you think Frank has the right to know?" Bill glared at her. "If you believe Mary is in danger then you should have told Frank and gone to the police..."

Fliss swallowed and looked down, shaking her head "I know John. This is about having control over me. If he thinks he’s won he will leave them alone…”

"You’re so fucking stupid." Bill sighed.

“Bill…” Verity spoke gently, trying to calm him down but he was too far gone to listen.

"You've let him win Liss, after everything you went through….”

"This isn’t about him winning!" Fliss practically screamed "This about keeping Mary and Frank safe...not only from him but…well, can you imagine what Frank would have done if he’d seen that?"

“So have you rung John and told him you've done what he wants?"

“Of course I fucking haven't"

"No fault whatsoever in your logic there, huh Titch..." Bill snorted, sarcastically "Tell me, how exactly do you expect him to know it’s over?"

Fliss looked at her dad for a moment, floundering for a response. But she didn’t have one.

"Frank has a right to know about that photo, and more so he deserves to understand why you walked out on him." Bill shook his head, as Verity gently placed a hand on his arm.

“"If you wanna discuss rights then I don’t have the right to put a target on his or Mary’s back.” Fliss screamed back before she took a deep breath, shaking her head “Now I’m going for a walk. See you at home.”

Bill watched as she left the office, an angry noise escaping from his throat.

“You were a bit hard on her there Billy.” Verity said, looking at him.

“She needed it.” Bill sighed. He placed both his hands on the desk and hung his head slightly “I can’t believe she’s been so stupid.” “She’s scared.” Verity said gently “She’s not thinking straight…” “You can say that again.” he looked at the photo for a second before he reached out and grabbed it, shoving it back in the envelope. He paused for a second, holding it in his hand before he turned to Verity “And I’m not standing for it…come one” “Where are we going?” Verity called after him as they made their way towards his car.

“To find Frank.” “Bill, we can’t…” Verity shook her head “If we go behind her back…” “Then you can wait in the car Verity.” he looked at her. “I don’t care what she says anymore, I’m not standing back and watching her throw anymore of her life away over that ass hole. And that aside, Frank has a right to know. So seeing as she’s too fucking stubborn to do it herself, then I’m gonna do it for her.”

***** “Thought I might find you here.”

Frank turned to look at Bill as he slid into the seat at the opposite side of the table to him in Ferg’s.

“Yeah well, not like I got much else to do.” Frank shrugged, taking a drink from his bottle.

“How many have you had?” Bill asked

“What are you my dad?” Frank shot back, turning to glare at him. Bill merely raised his eyebrows in response and Frank sighed, shaking his head.

“Sorry…” he took a deep breath “This is my first. Not been here long”

“Good. You're still sober enough to think straight.” “Think straight about what?” Frank frowned. After a second or so pause Bill reached into his pocket and slid an envelope across the surface of the table.

“What’s this?” Frank frowned.

“An explanation.” Bill sighed, “Well, of sorts anyway.” Frank looked at him, frowning before he placed his bottle down and picked the envelope up. He pulled out the paper from inside and glanced down at it. As soon as he saw the message typed out he felt the heat rise up his neck and into his face, anger flooding his system.

“Fuck.” Frank said loudly, shaking his head “He sent this?” Bill nodded.

“And this...this is why she broke it off?” “She thought if she finished it, gave John what he wanted as in to make her life a fucking misery, that he’d back off and it would mean you and Mary were safe.” Frank ran his hand through his hair “Why the fuck didn't she tell me?” “Because she was scared. Scared of what he would do and scared of your reaction” “My reaction?”

“Tell me you’re not thinking about hunting the fucker down and killing him yourself.” Bill looked at him and Frank looked away.

“If it wasn’t for Mary I’d have done that months ago.” he shook his head.

“Exactly. She was worried that this might have been that step that pushed you over the edge.” Bill shrugged. “Look, I’m not saying she’s right... in fact I’ve told her the opposite but, well, I just thought you had a right to know.”

“Can I keep this?” Frank asked after a moment’s pause “Regardless of what Fliss says, I’m taking this to the police this time.” “By all means.” Bill said. “But they’ll want to speak to Fliss so…”

“Tough.” Frank shrugged. “Now he’s pulled Mary into it I’m not fucking about anymore Bill.”

Bill nodded and stood up, clapping him on the shoulder. “Don’t think too badly of her Frank. I know she’s fucked up but she did think she was doing the right thing. We do stupid things to protect the people we love, as you know only too well.” Frank looked up at him and then back down to the photo. Bill turned to leave before he stopped and looked back over his shoulder.

“By the way, she’ll be at the yard.” He said, locking eyes with Frank. “Probably for another hour or so if the last week has been anything to go by. Just in case you wanted a more detailed explanation straight from the horse’s mouth so to speak.”

And with that he left Frank at the bar. Frank once more glanced down at the photo, before he rubbed at his beard. Now he had his explanation, his head was a mess of thoughts. He was angry, so angry that she’d done this, that she’d kept this from him but despite all of that, despite the fury and resentment he was feeling he couldn’t help but feel an overwhelming sense of sympathy for her, that she’d tried to deal with all this on her own to keep him and Mary from having to.

“You fucking idiot, Lissy…” he mumbled, before he shoved the photo back in the envelope and stood up, heading out to his truck.

**** Fliss was hanging Heidi’s bridle up in the tack room after a spontaneous ride around the fields when Thor gave a quick bark and shot out. Frowning, she headed to the door of the office, her eyes growing wide as she saw Frank striding purposely towards her, the setting sun illuminating his tall figure and the familiar envelope clutched in his hand.

Fuck…

“Care to explain this?” he waved it in the air as he reached the office threshold

“How did you…” “Your Dad.” he said, thrusting it at her “He came to find me. Thought I had a right to know, and you know what…I’m kinda inclined to agree with him.”

“Frank…” “Were you ever gonna tell me?” he asked, tossing the envelope onto the desk “That he had made a threat towards Mary?” “I dealt with it.” she shook her head “There was no need to worry you.”

“You dealt with it?” His voice was disbelieving “How? By ending things?” “Yes.” She nodded “Breaking it off with you…it was the best way of keeping you both safe.” “You are fucking unbelievable.” he shook his head “You ripped our lives from underneath us…”

“This hasn’t been easy on me either Frank!” she cut him off, angrily “Fuck, leaving you…it broke me. Like nothing I’ve ever felt before. You know, I’d rather take thousand beatings from John over that because…” she trailed off as Frank looked at her, her words sinking in as she shook her head and looked away, tears falling down her face “…because at least the physical pain would die down…”

“Don’t.” Frank shook his head, his voice cracking “Don’t say that.”

“It’s the truth. I had to keep you safe.” she turned her head to face him, “Both of you…”

“Why didn’t you just tell me?” he pressed.

Fliss looked at him, her mouth opening before she shut it again and shook her head, her eyes dropping to the floor “I had to keep you safe…” “Keep us safe…that’s not answering my question.” She shook her head again. “Damnit Lissy, look at me.”

She raised her face to his, obediently.

“Why?” he pressed.

“I was frightened it might tip you over the edge…make you do something stupid.”

“Stupid? Like what?” “Like go and hunt him down.” she swallowed.

“Seriously?”

“Yes!” she nodded. “You moved Mary over a thousand miles to keep her away from your own mother...”

“That is NOT the same…” Frank blazed at her

“And I was scared that if you saw this…you’d do something bad and then both of us would end up without you and…” “Fuck!” Frank exploded, slamming his open palm down on the desk with a loud bang. Fliss immediately jumped back, her eyes wide with fright and Frank took a deep breath, as he realised he’d scared her. Besides him Thor gave a low rumble of a growl, and the large dog moved towards Fliss, turning his eyes on Frank. Fliss laid a hand on his head.

“Thor, shh…” she said softly, and he immediately stopped, but never once averted his gaze from Frank.

“Sorry, I…” Frank swallowed, concentrating on his breathing as he looked at her. “Why didn’t you just talk to me?” “I don’t know…I’m sorry.” she sniffed, wiping her face. “I just…”

“Have I ever given you reason to be scared of what I’d do or say or…” “No, of course not…” “So what the fuck makes you think I wouldn’t understand how upset and scared you were over this?”

“I don’t know.” she shrugged “I wasn’t thinking straight…” “You weren’t thinking at all…” Frank shook his head “I can’t believe you’ve been so goddamned stupid.”

“I’m sorry…” she looked at him, looking down “I know…I was an idiot and you’ve every right to be angry and hate me…” “I don’t hate you Liss.” Frank sighed softly “I fucking love you, more than I can even begin to explain.” At that Fliss let out a loud sniff and wiped at her nose with her hand.

“And you know what the worst thing about all this is?” He spoke again and she looked at him, waiting for him to finish. “Is that I know I’ll never be able to stop loving you.”

The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them. It was the truth, he couldn't ever see a point in his life where he would be able to switch those feelings off. Fliss' drew in a ragged breath and as he looked at her he saw something on her face which he recognised instantly, it was the same look she had worn when she told him she had found out John had been released, utter broken helplessness. She shook her head sadly and he could do nothing but watch, his own chest rising and falling deeply as she slid down to the floor, her knees buckling beneath her. Thor pushed his face into hers, gently nuzzling at her as she tangled her hands into his fur.

"I don’t deserve to be loved..." she shook her head as her silent tears continued to flow freely "not at that cost..."

Her words hit Frank like a tonne of bricks and he took a deep breath and shook his head.

“Don’t…” he stumbled over his words slightly as he took a step towards her “Don’t say that! Ever again you hear me?” he knelt in front of her as she hugged her knees tightly to her chest. Thor, eyeing Frank again, moved back a little, clearly deciding the man posed no threat. Frank reached out and scratched his ear slightly before he gently placed his hands on Fliss’, prising them from around her knees gently, moving her arms so that her body opened up slightly to him “Fliss you are worthy of all the love in the world...why don’t you see it? Why are you pushing me away?” “I’m sorry… I’m… I…” She fell into him, sobs wracking her small frame as she pressed her face into his chest, her hands moving from her knees, grabbing fistfuls of his shirt. "Hey...sshhh..." he hushed her, one hand on the back of her head as he cradled her to him "it's okay…” He sat with her on the tiled floor of the office, no longer even bothering to fight his own tears as he pressed his face into her hair and kissed the top of her head as he rocked her gently whilst she cried. Eventually her sobs began to die down into soft cries, her body finally stopped shaking as the cries then subsided into sniffles but still she clung to him as if her life depended on it, simply concentrating on calming herself, allowing his familiar touch and smell to wash over her, ground her. Frank made to pull back slightly, but the moment caused Fliss to panic slightly and she made a grab for him. "No, please...don't go...don't..." "I'm not going anywhere." he promised her quietly as he cupped her cheeks with both his hands, turning her face up to look at him. "You're a fucking idiot you know that?" She gave a soft, watery splutter of a laugh as she nodded in agreement, his thumbs gently wiping her tears away. "But you're my idiot." "I don't deserve you..." she shook her head, averting her eyes from his "Frankie, I don't..." "Stop it." He said sternly, his grip on her face became a little stronger "Liss, look at me..." She swallowed and turned her big brown eyes to meet his, the hurt and pain evident on her pretty face. "I love you." He repeated his earlier statement and she took another deep, shaking breath. "I love you too." she sobbed, fresh tears rolling out of her eyes "Well then..." He looked at her, raising his eyebrows. "The question is, do you think that's enough to put this behind us?" "You want to?" She asked him, her voice almost a whisper, surprise still evident in her tone. "Of course I do." Frank sniffed and smiled at her. “I never wanted you to leave in the first place, Sweetheart." "What about Mary? She hates me..." Fliss shook her head. “And I don’t blame her." "No, she doesn't. She’s angry and lashing out. She tells me she hates me all the time, remember?" Frank smiled and tucked a strand of hair behind Fliss' ear "You might get the silent treatment for a day or so but well, some might call that a pleasant break." Fliss gave a snort of laughter before she finally let go of his shirt, reaching up with both hands to wipe at her face. "I bet I look a right state." She shook her head, looking down at her hands as the fingers on her left hand began to anxiously play with the ones on her right. "No more than usual." He quipped. "I still think you're beautiful." "Charmer." She said, her mouth curling up at one side into a glimmer of a smile, eyes still cast downwards. Frank reached out and gently took her chin between his finger and thumb, tilting her head upwards. She looked at him for a moment before he leaned down and gently pressed a kiss to her lips. A soft, lingering one, that was loaded with meaning as his hand once more rest against her cheek. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch, her left hand coming up lay over his, her fingers sliding into the spaces between his own. He gently, pressed his forehead to hers, his own eyes closing as he slid his nose up against hers. "Take me home." She whispered to him and he could tell from her tone it was a question not a demand. He opened his eyes to see her looking at him with a hopeful expression that matched the tone of her voice "please." He smiled at her and nodded, pressing a soft kiss to her forehead before he pushed himself up off the floor and offered her his hand. She took it, allowing him to pull her up on the floor and lacing his fingers between hers, he gently led them both towards the door. Once outside he paused to let her lock it before he gently slid his arm round her shoulders and she leaned into him as they walked towards his truck, Thor happily trotting behind them.

**** Chapter 22

#riding high #frank adler #frank adler x ofc #frank adler x original female character #gifted #gifted fan fic #chris evans #chris evans characters

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1337wtfomgbbq · 3 years

Text

Niki huffs: The adventure continues.

Niki: Join us at the pediatrican.

He smiles into the camera which quickly turns into a frown, and James doesn't look very enthusiastic either, as Nelson and Gilles run past them screaming bloody murder.

Niki chuckles: Huh the kids are a good thing after all.

Niki: You see *points camera at front desk* that lady over there *points at woman hauled up behind mountains of files and folders * Yeah, she's being awefully nice to us AND *snickers * those files weren't there when we got here.

Niki: Andrea doesn't want to open his mouth no matter what, even though he has had a sore throat for weeks.

James: *desperately trying to talk some sense into Andrea *

Chuckles from the side and Niki turns to René.

Niki: What are you laughing about? With all the cake you're eating you're up next.

René: 😶

Niki: Elio thinks I didn't notice that he "secretly" stole the bowl of candy from the front desk because Nigel said he was hungry.

Turns out Nigel is hitting a growth spurt.

Niki: Patrick is somewhere but I don't know where.

Niki: James is looking for him though.

Niki: I think he's scared *thinks of disney land, the train and ikea * Come to think of it.

Niki joins James in search for Patrick, who finally jumps out from behind a giant plant, almost giving James a heart attack. Good thing they're already at the doctors office.

Niki: Alain and Nelson are laughing at a poster of the male ... *whispers * If I say that right now everyone will laugh and be weird for the rest of the day.

Nelson declares proudly: Boys have penis and girls have a vagina.

Niki:

James:

James: We shouldn't have let them watch 'kindergarten cop' last night.

Niki lets out a long suffering sigh while Nelson won't stop telling everyone loudly that boys have a penis and girls have a vagina.

Niki: 🤦‍♂️

Niki: Bruno is sitting in the play area and I'm afraid what will happen once he notices that he has played with everything that is there.

Niki turns camera to his face: Boredom is your enemy I tell you.

James: Way ahead of you

He hands Bruno a tablet so he can watch spongebob, Niki nods approvingly.

A bit later:

Niki shows a sleeping Jacques who's spread out over three chairs, with his head hanging off the last one and snoring.

Niki: Seems like Riccardo also infected Jacques with the flu.

Gilles has just been called up and gets up, frowning at the magazine he's been browsing. He looks shocked once he closes it and realizes it's a magazine for teenage girls.

Niki: And before anybody asks, no we didn't forget Riccardo. We left him at home because we were just at the doctors with him a few days ago.

Niki: Don't worry Jochen is watching him.

Niki: He's still not quite over his flu. But Alain seems to be fine again.

Alain runs past yelling as Nelson chases him, threatning to draw him a mustache with a marker.

Niki: Didier was just called inside and *Didier yells something *

Niki: Excuse me.

Niki hands the camera to James and leaves to join Didier in the doctors office.

James starts filming the poster of the male and female anatomie that Nelson is now drawing on. Nelson has already succeeded in drawing the man a mustache and Alain's scribling flowers onto the woman's feet.

James sighs: I'm either gonna have to pay that or charm the front desk lady, eh? *bouncing Ayrton on his lap absendminded.*

On the way back home:

Bruno and Patrick have somehow turned to watching My Little Pony and won't stop singing the theme song.

Nigel wound up with a mustache drawn onto his face.

Didier is pissed that he's the only one getting a shot into his butt.

Jacques and Andrea are both sick as it turns out. Jacques having the flu and Andrea having tonsillitis. Nigel just has a stomach ache from gobling up all the sweets.

And Elio now also yells about boys having a penis and girls having a vagina.

Niki sighs: At least this time we didn't forget anybody *looks into rear view mirror and sees empty seat *

That sends them hurrying back to the doctor's office and it takes them half an hour until James realizes that the empty seat is due to Riccardo being at home, and that all their kids are in the VW.

James: We need a fucking vacation.

Elio yells: Fucking fucking fucking

Everyone else chimes in: Fucking fucking fucking

Niki glares at James.

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carisi-dreams · 4 years

Text

Nick Amaro Masterlist | Part 2-11.23.19

[Had to separate Sonny & Nick because of link limits in posts. Click HERE to go to Sonny Carisi fills. Click HERE to go to AUs.]

Masterlist Part I || Part II HERE

Nick Amaro italicized posts are the most recent additions

nearlycanon!verse:

- Background | kinks

- Fall break with Diego (college!Nick)

- Getting together [1, 2, 3, meeting your friends]

- The Break Up

- Private conversation

- First time

- Morning after

- Batting cages

- I do

- Bar fight

- Best friend in town

- Meeting the squad

- Meeting his family

- Bad day

- Amaro’s 180 [ part two ]

- Father’s wedding

- Nick takes care of you while you’re sick

- sub!Nick where he safe words

- Post father’s trial [ comforting him, sub!nick, sub!nick cont., misc part 1, misc part 2,]

- Miami [invitation, pool, wedding reception 1, 2, 3, misc 1, 2, club, they want you, jealous kiss, don’t say that]

- Diego visits NYC (NSFW) [part 2, part 3, nick & diego’s conversation]

- Fall in love

- Do as you’re told

- Happy [uncle Nick]

- PTSS [part 1]

- Cuddling at 4am

- Sitting on Nick’s face (NSFW)

- In love with you

- Life outside of work [1, 2, 3]

- Stop freaking out

- Valentine’s Day

- Apologizing with cake

- Like it (sub!nick, NSFW)

- Moving forward

- Rough Case

- Forget you met him

- Can’t cancel date

- Baseball game [prelude]

- Tease (NSFW)

- Sexy pic

- Parents want to meet you

- Shut that pretty little mouth

- Ex-boyfriend [1, 2, 3, the fight ]

- Asking you to move in [sub!Nick, next morning]

- Chicago

- Dressing up like Fin & Melinda

- Meeting your mom

- Tinsel

- Cleaning the house (slightly NSFW)

- Distraction

- Growing pains

- Getting in late

- Stop (sub!Nick, NSFW)

- Love in the park

- interlude w/ sub!nick

- Home late

- What do you want from me

- Performance issues

- Missed you

- The Proposal [your answer]

- Party in Miami | part 2

- You don’t mean that [resolution]

- Catching Nick masturbating (NSFW)

- Wedding planning [first appointments, IKEA, misc]

- Photo album

- Your mom hates me

- Surprise

- Bachelor Party [ part 1, part 2, part 3]

- Wedding [vows, first dance, cutting the cake, pony]

- On the way to honeymoon | no one needs to know

- Honeymoon [1, 2, 3, pictures in the pool, beard]

CONTINUED IN PART II HERE

#masterlist #nick amaro #nick amaro x reader #nick amaro imagine #svu

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thepurplebutterflythings · 5 years

Text

Lucky Man - Dick Grayson

Gif: emmagraves on tenor

Word Count: 1.8K

Paring: Dick Grayson (Titans) x (f)Reader

Summary: After Y/N and Dick have had their daughter, Mary, Y/N comments that Dick spoils Mary and reminisces on their relationship.

Warnings: N/A

A/N: Mary, the daughter in this piece, is named after Dick Grayson’s mother.

Masterlist

Requested: @iamcheese13

________________________________________________________________

“Honey, I’m home,” Dick called through the house as he came back from the shop, carrying nappies under one arm and baby wipes under the other. You heard him struggling to close the door to your home, but finally, manage it and let out a little noise of pride when he succeeded.

With your daughter on your hip, you walk out of the nursery to see your husband standing there with a gleeful grin.

“You know how 1950s sitcom of you that sounded, right?”

“Shut up,” Dick laughed as he walked up to you and your daughter, kissing you on the lips and your baby on the top of her head. “How are my girls?”

“We’re great, aren’t we, Mary?” You cooed at your daughter, bouncing her on your hip causing her to squeal with glee. Dick put the nappies and wipes down before gesturing for you to pass your daughter over to him. You smiled and nodded, gently passing Mary over.

“She looked so much like my Mum,” Dick sighed, holding his daughter close to him, “and she would love you,” he said in a fussing voice to Mary, “she really would. She would spoil you rotten.”

“Like her father does already,” you scoffed teasingly.

“I don’t spoil her,” Dick defended himself as Mary placed her chubby hands on Dick’s cheeks. Dick met Mary’s eyes and melted. He smiled and kissed Mary’s cheek with making a loud ‘Mwau’ sound as he did and nuzzling her cheek with his stubble, causing Mary to giggle wildly.

“If she wanted a pony, you’d buy her a whole god-damn farm of them.”

“And why shouldn’t she have everything she wants?” Dick said not looking at you but completely captivated by Mary.

“God, as much as I do look forward to it, I also dread the day she gets married.”

Dick finally looked away from Mary to you with a bemused expression on his face. He was bouncing Mary all she wanted and smiled at her one more time before looking at you again.

“And why is that?”

“Cause you can’t say ‘no’ to her and I can already imagine the hit our savings will take.”

“She deserves to look like a princess on her special day,” Dick insisted, “like her mother.”

“You trying to sweet talk me, Mr Grayson?”

“Only cause it works, Mrs Grayson?” Dick said leaning over and kissing you gently. “I’m a lucky man,” he stated, “look at what I’ve got. What did I do to deserve this? – I never thought I’d have anything like this.”

“Neither did I,” you sighed as you leaned into Dick, stroking the soft hair of your daughter’s head. This truly was a life neither of you believed was possible, with Dick’s upbringing with Bruce which led to him being somewhat emotionally distant and yourself being a Gotham resident who had resided yourself to living alone due to the constant danger of villains around every corner, anything aside from a two-month fling seemed impossible for the both of you, but somehow, beyond all odds, you had made something, a relationship, a marriage and a family.

“I love you both,” Dick said, wrapping his free arm around your waist, “I love my girls so much.”

“And I love you both so much,” you tell him. You watched as Dick walked Mary to her room and place her in her crib before returning and wrapping you in his arms. “My lovely daughter and my incredible husband.”

“Who is a sexy, sexy detective?”

“Who is a sexy, sexy detective,” you nodded with a chuckle and a roll of the eye. “Modest much?”

“Extremely so,” Dick nodded as he kissed your cheek.

“You’re very lucky I love you, Richard Grayson.”

“I know I am,” Dick nodded, running his hand through your hair. Dick always looked at you so lovingly and made you feel as though you were royalty, and he never asked for anything in return, all he wanted was to make you feel loved and safe and he succeeded in that. You also made him feel loved and safe, so loved and safe that he opened up to you about his parents, his past in the circus and his life with Bruce Wayne, and so much more that he had never spoken to anyone about.

You still remembered the first night he told you about Bruce Wayne and how he was Batman and that Dick himself was the Original Robin. At first, you didn’t believe it and laughed it off – Bruce Wayne was Batman? Yeah right! But then the look that was on Dick’s face was all you needed to see to tell you that it was the truth. Bruce Wayne was Batman. Dick Grayson was once Robin. You were in your bedroom, both of you had just moved from Gotham to Detroit and moved into a flat together. The whole day had been spent putting the essential things together, ending with the marathon task of the bed from Ikea, and you had just put the mattress on the bed before both collapsing on the bed and staring up at the ceiling with deep breaths from the struggle against the mattress. You were both lying there, staring upwards, when Dick spoke.

“I was Robin in Gotham,” he told you. You laughed breathlessly and turned your head to look at Dick, who turned to look at you.

“Right, okay, and who was Batman? Alfred?”

“No, Bruce is.” He said, knowing he could trust you. You blinked and sat up, staring at him. Dick slowly sat up too. He stared at you so intently, and you knew when Dick was lying. Dick could never lie to you.

“Seriously?”

“Seriously.”

“You are Robin?”

“Were Robin. I was Robin.”

“And Bruce Wayne is Batman?”

“Yes,” Dick nodded, waiting for your reaction, but there was no outburst, no screaming, no yelling, no accusations like he thought. You just sat there on your new mattress staring at him with a faintly opened mouth. “Are you alright?” He asked, concerned by the lack of reaction.

“I don’t know what to say. I don’t know what to do.” You confessed, “I wasn’t expecting that sorta confession when we started living together. Maybe that you take obscenely long showers or that you can’t cook, but a secret double life? Well, that wasn’t on the list.”

“I’m sorry,” Dick said, “that I lied to you for so long.”

“You never really lied to me Dick,” you assured him, “I never asked if you were Robin. I never had a reason to believe you were.”

“But I hid it from you.”

“It was your every right to.” You said, “you’ve given it up? Being Robin?”

“Yes,” he nodded, “I had to. I didn’t like who I was becoming.”

“How old were you when you started?”

“I was a kid,” Dick said, “it wasn’t long after Bruce took me in.”

“Oh Dick,” you sighed, wrapping your arms around his neck and hugging him. Dick was right, he was a kid when it started. Dick was 12 when his parents died. He wasn’t even a teenager and hearing how young he was broke your heart. He was a child, and Bruce was willingly putting him in danger facing people like The Joker or The Riddler. What if Dick hadn’t been so lucky? Would Bruce have regretted bringing Dick into his world? When you pulled away and looked Dick in the eye, he looked at you sadly.

“Promise me something, Y/N,” Dick said quietly, stroking your hip where your shirt lifted up with his thumb.

“Of course.”

“That we’d never raise our children how Bruce raised me, that we’ll keep them safe, and that we will not let someone like Bruce raise them if something were to happen to us.”

“I promise,” you nodded with a gentle smile before you both lay back down, you resting on Dick’s chest. “So you think about us having kids huh?”

“Sometimes,” he mumbled sheepishly. “Why? Does it worry you?”

“No,” you said, “it’s sweet.”

The conversation from all those years ago echoed in your head as you stood in your house with Dick holding you in his arms, who was now your husband, and your baby daughter sleeping in her crib. It all seemed like a beautiful dream that you could wake up from any minute to discover you were back in Gotham, fearing of someone breaking into your flat and holding you hostage while they stole your stuff. Dick’s lips against your reminded you how real it all was. It was perfect. He was perfect. You daughter was Perfect. Everything was perfect. You stood on your tip-toes and leaned up to kiss Dick again.

“What you think of?” He asked curiously, seeing the nostalgic look on your face.

“When you told me about Robin,” you admitted. “And that you thought about us having kids.”

“I was so worried it freaked you out and that you’d leave.”

“What? Robin or Kids?”

“Both,” he confessed with a laugh.

“Well, I’m still here.”

“Yes you are,” Dick nodded, holding you close.

“And you aren’t going to lose me, or Mary, and even if something were to happen to us Rachel and Gar could do right by us in raising Mary, and any other children we’ll have.”

“Other kids?” Dick grinned.

“Thought a little boy might be nice too,” you shrugged, “we could name him ‘Robin’” you teased causing Dick to laugh and kiss your neck multiple times to make you laugh as well.

“Honestly, not the worst idea but I was thinking ‘Troy’,” Dick said.

“Like Donna Troy?”

“I lost a bet with her – long story.”

“Which you have to tell me now.”

“I was young and stupid.” Dick shrugged, “I’ll tell you more later.”

“I actually like the name ‘Troy’,” you laughed, “plus I like Donna.”

“That’s good because she was already pissed that she lost out on Mary being called Donna.”

“In our defence,” you said, “we chose Mary’s name the day we found out I was pregnant.”

“Mum’s birthday.”

“It seemed fitting. A sign.”

“Donna understood when I explained it,” Dick told you.

“Good,” you smiled, holding back a yawn. Dick led you to the bedroom and towards the bed. You both laid down, and you rested your head on Dick’s chest, much like that day all those years ago when you first moved in together.

“I think with Mary sleeping, you and I should catch up on it ourselves,” Dick explained.

“And here I thought you were trying to seduce me, you sexy, sexy detective,” you laughed with a yawn.

“Alright, alright,” Dick chuckled, causing his chest to vibrate. “That was an arrogant stupid thing of me to say.”

“I thought it was funny – and true,” you said leaning up to kiss him before placing your head back on his chest and closing your eyes.

“Lucky, lucky man,” Dick sighed, holding you close.

#dick grayson x reader #dick grayson imagine #brenton thwaites #dick grayson #brenton thwaites imagine #brenton thwaites x reader #Titans #Titans DC #Fanfiction #Oneshot #dick grayson robin #nightwing #nightwing imagine #nightwing x reader #Robin imagine #robin x reader #Titans imagine

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autodiscothings · 4 years

Note

Bored AF Quarantine Asks: 5, 24 and 30?

3. What show/YouTube video(s) do you put on in the background when you when you don’t have anything to watch but you want something on?

Bon Appetit test kitchen.

5. What’s your favourite pair of shoes that you own?

I actually do have a favourite pair! These bad boys:

They’re 5 years old and well worn and comfy as fuck, and have been to many countries and places.

14. Favourite mug you own

I have plenty of mugs that have stories. When my dad died, i took his favourite mugs, since we both shared a coffee obsession. I have an extremely extra gold Egyptian mug that makes me feel like super fancy when I use it, a delicate bird mug my partner brought me when we moved in together, several owl printed designs (owl anything are a thing people buy me.)

However, my favourite to drink out of is a boring Ikea mug, which is just the right amount of coffee for me each morning:

Behold, the greige!

16. Pick a song lyric to describe your current mood (and drop the name and artist!)

Bachelorette you climb on rooftops and you bachelorette You can turn dust into champagne You even remembered his name

Tori Amos, Bachelorette.

(I’m a little tipsy.)

21. Have you ever been horseback riding?

I have a new forest pony called Merlin growing up. He was a little shit. I outgrew him and riding when I was around 12, might be able to tack up still.

24. What’s your opinion on Lazy Susan’s (the spinning tray in the middle of tables)?

What an oddly specific question! I think the writer has opinions on them, hah. They have their place, but I don’t trust myself using them. I get nervous around sushi conveyor belts, a lazy susan seems like a bad idea for a Soignee.

26. You can only have one juice for the rest of your life, what is it?

To drink? Orange juice, but if i could only use that for cooking and mixed drinks, i’d switch to lime.

30. Where could someone find you in a museum?

Staring with a vacant expression at the art and textile section. Might be drawing, if I had a sketchbook with me.

Thank you anons and @crackinglamb! taken from: https://autodiscothings.tumblr.com/post/616106084872142848/quarantine-asks-questions-you-usually-wouldnt

#asks and prompts #crackinglamb

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hollowphobia-casual · 4 years

Text

The Amazing World Of Friendship Part MMXIX, The Return Of The Rising Awakened Empire

It’s that time of year again! The time I let down my defences and expose my emotions bare to all my friends so that I may thank and gush all over them, because despite my cynical hate filled shell, deep, deep, deep, deep, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep down I’m actually someone who just wants to be loved, maybe.

But joking and honest truths disguised as jokes aside, there is something I would like to say, most of the time.., I feel like I have imposter syndrome, not regarding my art and my work, but with my friends! I have SO many wonderful friends and I honestly love them to bits and yet every year due to work, time zones, time schedules or just my inability to start a conversation I don’t get to talk to them or they go neglected for ages and I hate that so much about myself. My friends, all of them, are such wonderful people and they deserve so much better than what I give them, I love you guys, so very much..., I’m sorry for being such a terrible friend.

THAT SAID! It’s time to embarrass these lovely losers by letting them know just how much I care, kukuku.

@articbleu [Twitter]

Hah! Speaking of friends whom I’m constantly feel like I am neglecting, where do I begin without feeling like I’m treading over the same ground? You are one of the many artists whom I consider an inspiration, your dedication, drive and sheer will is aweing inspiring, like, I dunno if I can ever get over how much I think about it, I remember a time where we were both almost at the same level and now you are off doing who knows what, last I checked, you were studying in Korea, which is awesome, I’m so happy for you. But when ever I’m working and I feel like I can’t achieve, I look to you and tell myself, I can do better. I dunno if we’ll ever talk like we used to, so much time has passed since we last spoke, I dunno if we are the same people and there are times when I look back on my past, things I said that I regret and wonder if maybe you shouldn’t be my friend, not because I hate you, but because there are better people than me, who are more deserving of your attention, admiration and so much more, but regardless of what comes and what may happen, you have been or are, my friend and I love you, please, keep shooting like the star you are!

@nightmargin [twitter]

Okay, imagine this, so you met this cool girl who likes to draw weird, amazing and beautiful things on Deviantart, you enter a character tournament two with them, you chat about anime and stuff, then just a few years later THEY RELEASE ONE MOST ACCLAIMED INDIE GAMES KNOWN, like Whaaaaa-, there is not a day that goes by I don’t see One Shot stuff like, wha-, I dunno.., and she’s still making stuff it’s fucking incredible, WHY ARE MY FRIENDS SO TALENTED.., hah, go damit didn’t want to be melancholy.. ..,But like, shit, I just want to support my friends and let them know how much I give a shit, just how impressed I am, how happy for them I am but truth is I hardly get to see them, which is not your fault, you are making games, doing art, and having to be a social media presence, it’s exhausting, I understand, I just hope you know that I care still, that when I see your characters around the web, in fanart, in VRchat and other places, it makes me SO happy, I just want to hug you and let you know that you are doing an amazing job and that I couldn’t be more proud of you, I hope you know that.

@doodlediddy @doodledittydaisy [Twitter]

AAAAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!! Okay so, this is a friend where neither of us are to blame for staying out of touch because, HOLY FUCK YOU HAVE A BABY! AAAAA, you made a little person and they are so cute! On the rare occasion I go onto the hellsite that is Facebook, I get to catch glimpses of you and your lovely child, whom I terribly do not know the name or gender of A+ friendship right there, but yeah, GURL, you have an infant and they are precious, I don’t blame you for a second for not being in touch, it feels so weird, not too many years ago you were talking me off the ledge and then you got married, then you got baby fat AND NOT IT’S ESCAPE! I’m so happy for your family, fuck, that’s so weird, it’s YOUR family, not your family, YOUR FAMILY! AAAAaaaaa!

@mistercrowbar [Twitter]

I MET HER!, I MET HER!, I MET HER! No you guys don’t understand, I MET CROWBAR AND IT WAS FUCKING AWESOME! We looked at beautiful lakes, we watched netflix, We ate burgers, looked at destroyed cranes, went to Ikea, watched more netflix, bought DnD stuff, ate more burgers, tried a beaver tail, more netflix, talked about lobsters and my little pony, looked at fossils, got mad at the ocean, yelled at drivers, more netflix… It was great, I loved it, would sleep on the floor again, 10/10. But Okay so I know that many people would think of Crowbar as intimidating, she’s not an emotionally open person I know, but to be honest it just makes friendship with her special, getting to know her on a level where you can read her is something that is truly treasurable and I’m so lucky to have that, she’s a unique person to love and that’s what's so great about her, she isn’t like everyone else, I wouldn’t change her for anything in the world…, okay maybe I’d allow her let me hug her more so I can tell her how great she is and she can’t flee, haha. I know I get on her nerves sometimes and I’m probably not the best friend on her list, I mean, I’m guessing, but considering how I measure up to some of the other people she knows, I can easily see that, I mean who knows thow, maybe I’m not a tier friend and maybe just a different friend and I just.., haha, I dunno why I obsess over this, how important I am to my friends, maybe because I just want them to be the happiest they can be and when I know I’m depriving them of joy, I question myself. But I am happy for what happiness I do bring to her, the moments I’m useful, when I am needed or just enjoyable company, those are the best moments for me, I’d give anything just to hear Crowbar laugh once every day, that’s how important of a friend she is to me.

@valbey-the-girl [twitter]

THIS ASSHOLE! Has been with me since I can remember, which probably annoys him, because I’m not the easiest person to friends with, specially of late, my mood has been all over the fucking place, I’m happy, sad, depressed, angry, frustated and yet he doesn’t complain…, that I know of.., and in return.., I send him lewd christmas gifts that make his parents question him and his life choices. Haha, friendship. But honestly, I like that about him, he’s one of the true people I know that makes me feel like we have a ‘normal’ friendship, we are not overly affectionate, we can speak openly to one another and we don’t like all of them same things and all I want to do is make him laugh and find a game that I’m good at and that he sucks at, because god damit, he seems like he’s an expert at everything, fuck you! I know times right now are tough for you, I can’t imagine it’s easy, shits going down at home, work and there is some asshole asking if your free once every Saturday so you can pretend to be a dwarf, just know if you need anything, you can always ask me, you’ve been there for me, don’t forget I’m here for you.

@dansome0203 [Twitter]

Don’t say how you are terrible friend because you haven’t been talking to him much, you say it every year, Don’t say how you are terrible friend because you haven’t been talking to him much, you say it every year, Don’t say how you are terrible friend because you haven’t been talking to him much, you say it every year,... -checks Script- “I’m a terrible Friend..” FUCK. -inhale- The man I look to for inspiration on cute girls and large boobs! God, I only really got to know this guy at the tail end of my Deviantart carrier before the big move to Tumblr and even then it was less a ‘WE ARE FRIENDS SWORN TO A BLOOD OATH’ and more me oddly poking him now and again, trying to start a conversation failing miserably, a tradition that would continue for about…, nine years…, nine years.. God I am a terrible friend. But enough about my inability to simply converse with people, what can I say about this Dan, he’s fucking great to start with, on the odd times I do actually get to talk to him I know he is nothing more than a chill dude who creates a lovely and warm atmosphere around him that draws people in, he has a fantastic sense of humour which is only equaled by his creative flair, no I’m not talking about the boobs, but more his designs for his characters, colour choices and so much more, I am honestly not joking when I say that I look at this guys work for inspiration from time to time, because I find his designs just that appealing and insightful. I would love for nothing than to just sit in a call with this guy and talk shop, or talk, or anything…, I wanna love you Dan, let me love you!

Gwyn Graham

And right of the gates… I FORGOT WHAT THERE TUMBLR USERNAME IS GOD DAMMIT! So for once me being a bad friend is entirely my fault!, we’ve always had a rocky time zone/schedule conflict even when we use to play DnD with each other, because life sadly, is not easy, fuck I wish it was. But also sadly I dunno what you’ve been up to, I dunno how you have been. I hope you are well and happy, did you get date? Are you on the lamb for murder? Who knows, but I like to think you are happy, I hope you are, I wish that you are.

@taplaos @tapliciousart [Twitter]

I bought three shirts from you and my father ignored the washing instructions so they are now basically ruined.-sigh- That said they are some amazing fucking shirts, so gonna try and be less of a downer here, but yes, like most of my friends, I am terribly out of touch with this wonderful person, HOWEVER, they have been fucking busy, designing some of the sickest Pokemon related merchandise I’ve ever seen, two things immediately come to mind when ever I see their amazing work up on my twitter, one… Why have Nintendo/Game Freak issued a take down notice and second, WHY HAVEN’T THEY HIRED YOU and I don’t mean that in a fanboy sort of, I love you pay attention to me sort of way, I actually mean that, your designs are so appealing, humorous, creative and at the same time, family friendly, like, there is such a demand for Pokemon related merchandise and you are just popping it out like nobody's business, christ, you are too good at this, it’s why I really need to sit down and talk to you about helping me design T-shirts at some point. Honestly, if you haven’t, go check out their stuff, seriously, do it, DO IT NOW!

@tuz-ohtopia @dm-tuz [Twitter] [Patreon]

When I started out I was ‘aware’ of Tuzzy, but I didn’t really know him, it wasn’t until I started getting involved with DnD that I started to know him and that was because he was the DM of my two other friends, so sadly I can never say that me and Tuzo have had the strongest of friendships. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I dislike Tuzo, I think the guy is great, the times we’ve actually spoken it’s been fantastic and talking shop with him was always a highlight, but it just.., amazes me, how I guy I barely knew went from a simple background presence to almost being everywhere I look. For you who don’t know, Tuzo is now a DM for hire and even has a Patreon where he offers up custom monsters, tiles and such, it’s so amazing to see how far he has come, it’s great, even if he has an unhealthy obsession with a lesser version of DnD, haha. I’m so proud of him and his unbound campaign is so enjoyable, experiencing it though his players is incredible and the assets he creates are outstanding, I just wish I had his time management, because I can not create assets to the same level or detail he does. This man has inspired me as a DM, an artist and a creator, and I don’t know if he is even aware that he has done that, Tuzo, keep doing what you're doing, because it’s amazing.

@nickala [Twitter]

Nicki’s Twitter describes her as a wannabe concept artist and an actual scientist and I’m probably the reverse haha, a wannabe scientist, god I love Nicki’s job, I really should talk to her about it, but then again I dunno how much of it she is allowed to openly discuss, she is after all handling human remains, so… I’ve mentioned it before, but I love Nicki, she makes life, make sense and it’s great, but more importantly than that, she’s just.., fantastic, funny, caring, but human. Like she feels so relatable with how she expresses herself, everything comes with a little frustration, a little guilt and honesty, which might sound like a weird thing to admire, but there are so many people these days who want to be fake, they want to be these, ideal versions that don’t exist, trying so hard and it becomes, exhausting and almost impossible to talk to them, because they wear a mask and you don’t know what their true intentions are. But not with Nicki, they talk and you can feel that raw emotion, it’s so satisfying to read text, to hear a voice and just know the complexity of a person, it’s refreshing and I cherish it.., even if I don’t talk to them that often.., I’m a sham of a friend -cries-

@mortooncian-art [Twitter]

I just met this lovely gal this year and…, I’m as bad with talking to them as I am with Dan…, I hope it doesn’t continue for about nine years…, I don’t want to be awkwardly skirting conversations at 37.

Sadly I can’t say much of them as a person, mostly because I’ve only really gotten to meet them this year, the aforementioned being a terrible person/friend, but I can talk about what drew me to them, because I was always aware of Thren? Mortoon?...uh.. Oh god I dunno what to call them..FU- I had always been aware of them since Deviantart and their art was appealing I just never made the leap to try and talk to them, because COWARD, it wasn’t until sometime last year, I can’t recall who but someone was reblogging their work, I believe it was Dan or Calien, it was from his DnD session and her little tiefling was just.., so..fucking CUTE! I loved her and wanted to know so much about her and looking into her work I found more and more cute loveable characters, and I dunno how to describe it, but her art just has this beautiful, cute and sexy charm to it that makes you just want to.. LIKE AND REBLOG IT… So after that, I just wanted to get know her, it seems so stupid thinking about it, liking someones art you think to yourself, hey I want to know this person on a personal level and maybe talk to them! And then, you get it and you clam up due to your social awkwardness and inability to manage a time schedule, haha.. But yes, I’m so glad I’ve been given a chance to talk to her, maybe if time allows it, I won’t screw it up in getting to be her friend.

@clauseart [Twitter] [Webcomic]

Yes, my fellow british artist whom I constantly compare myself against to measure my self success and my constantly conclude my lack of value… ...That’s not a joke I really do do this. Enough about me, I’ve mentioned it before with a few.., or most.., artist here, met on DA and look at where they are now, this girl, this them, this BEAST, started out with a crazy pinwheel and appearing in almost every OCT (Original Character Tournament) you can think of and now, they have an amazing webcomic about an amazing buff ginger and a kid whom I dislike (I’m sorry, I just wanna punch him,). Also a DnD character who seems from a distance seems like the drunk aunt who hates her family children.., I dunno I know nothing about their character and I really should ask someone, but if I’m right I want a gold star. But regardless, I am so proud of them, their creativity and artistic skill seems to have nothing but skyrocketed since the end of the OCT era of our lives and the dawn of tumblr, not to mention the just general progression of their comics, which I will leave a link to and if you don’t read this super funny and amazingly well drawn comic I will.. I really want to say more about them, I do! Sadly, I consider myself a friend, but I dunno if I even have that right, our friendship was very, distant, not in a negative way, but more like someone you chat to in a tescos (For any curious americans think Walmart), and now, I feel like I’m just a one man cheer squad. And honestly, I am okay with that, I get to see them improve and feel proud for them and they have a wonderful life as it is, what's more to want?

@lou0 @hunnylou0 [Twitter]

Lou has been one of my longest…, acquaintances? Okay I’m not saying that Lou isn’t a friend, I mean, I consider her a friend, but I’ve known her since I rejoined DA under the name Clockworkable, since then she’s been a source Joy, laughter, inspiration and to some extent a free expression, but, I could never feel like I was her equal or at least a friend, we were never close, despite how I tried to be.., she’s a difficult person to talk to, which isn’t her fault! Nothing ever seems to go her way, which.. Pisses me off so much, because she’s just a nice, beautiful and kind person who just deserves nothing but affection and I’d love to give it to her, even if it’s just a hug. But I know it can be hard.. That said, I’ve gotten the chance to really talk to her, getting to know her, the true her and it’s as wonderful as you’d think it would be, she is a true expression of her art, joyful, cheeky, funny, playful and kind, sweet, brutally honest, but that’s never a bad thing in my books. I dunno even now if I’m a good friend to her, I dunno if she’d even think of me as one, but I am happy that I’m a little bit here for her, more than I was before, I just want to make her happy.

@sunshinedrago [twitter]

Don’t be friends with this woman, it starts off small like “Oh, would you like to play Final Fantasy XIV?” and then the next thing you know your talking to scottish fairies and questioning your life decisions. I met this crazy spanish.. “ITALIAN!” Italian woman about three.., maybe four years ago? I can’t even remember how we met, like I know we met because we needed someone for a DnD game, but I can’t recall if it was me she contacted or someone else, haha, I’m getting old. Either way it doesn’t matter, because I’m so happy that I did, she’s encouraging, kind, sympathetic, honest and joyful, but more importantly realistic and down to earth, this woman is not a pity party and has introduced me to some of the most important anime and shows I could imagine, as well as help fueled my addiction to some games, a few years back I’d never played an MMO and now look at me...a broken shell of my former self…, obsessing over loot drops and glamorous for a fictional 3D bunny girl…She’s also one of my more active and talkative friends, which helps with my crippling depression haha, I dunno what else to say, It’s not like there isn’t a lot to say, just that I’ve said it over and over again, she’s a great friend and someone I wish I knew sooner, she feels like a friend I’ve always had, but I only met three years ago. Yeah.

@jabbage [Twitter]

What can I say, Smart, dedicated, driven, focused, talented, learned and amazing… ...Yep…, not just saying that because I am terrible friend…, not another example of not staying in touch with people, made worse by the fact they live in england…, nope…, are you buying it yet? I want to talk about how they inspire me, how they fuel my motivation, but sadly I have to just slap myself and twitter, because GURL never appears on my dash, but just.., THEY’VE WRITTEN SO MANY STORIES! H-how! I just.., I can’t get one webcomic done, I am so proud of her because of this, I should just be able to say that, but I don’t want to, I mean I do, I am proud, but I always want to talk about them as a person, I wanna mention times they’ve made me laugh, made me smile, but there is only a fleeting moment in a minecraft server sometime ago and… I am so sorry, for being a bad friend, but you don’t really need me to enrich your life.., JUST LOOK AT ALL YOU’VE ACCOMPLISHED! You are so amazing, one woman army, just AAAAA, so great! I love it, I love you, keep being amazing!, don’t stop! Burn bright, burn far and burn hard! Go!

@flunafloon [Twitter]

I can’t say how much of a bad friend I am again.., please, she deserves better than me, here is the link to her Etsy store.

@daco-taco [Twitter]

God I have a bleeding heart.., I say because I don’t really know Daco, hell I dunno if I even register as ‘friend’, I’ve followed them since Deviantart and I loved their art, for the most part I was content to be just that and then��, I just saw them upset, and fuck me, haha. I hate that I hate people being in pain so much I dunno why it destroys the core of who I am.., so now I’m in a discord server, or trying to be, feeling constantly judge, because I want to make someone happy and I dunno if I am even doing the job. Haha, what does that say about me?

Charanty

I want to say a lot about charanty, I want to say we were great friends, I wanna say we talked from sunrise to sunset, I want to so badly.., dumb ideas we had, silly jokes we shared, moments of confusion, anger, tears.., bliss, regret.. But sadly I can’t, not that I don’t like them, no no, Charanty is amazing, but like something truly amazing, they are never around all the time, which sucks, because they are truly amazing, creative, beautiful in their mannerisms and perfect in their imperfection. I wish I could enjoy them more often.

ChubbuChu

I have many friends whom I want to be happy, Chubbu probably more than anything and sometimes I blame myself for their sadness, I know I am not the root cause, but I can still blame myself for moments of silence, moments of stupidity and overall not trying harder. Chubbu is.., affectionately irrational and down to earth, the best of times they are infectiously fun to provoke, play with and tease, while at the same time being caring and hopeful, I’ve only had the pleasure of knowing them for this year and even still it feels like I’ve known them longer, but I can’t wait to get to know them more as time goes on, I hope I do, I wish I do.

@hypertronic [Twitter]

Hyper…, Hyper.., “Your a terrible friend again aren’t you?” I mean.., YES, okay so Hyper started off as someone who was a fan of one my characters and since then I’ve had the pleasure of being taken out of the limelight and watching them grow into an amazing artist and COMIC CREATOR, AAAAA, so Park Of Plutonia, Hyper’s comic was a silly little RP group that was on DA, but look at it now! The amazing world she had hidden away in her head, now for you to read and I really recommend you go read it, especially if you want something different and unique, I really want to say more than just ‘go check out her comic’, I really do.

Mon

-breaths- “You were a bad friend again” GOD DAMMIT, YES! You know the saying never meet you idols! Because all you will do is upset them and make them judge you, HAHAHHA, SO! I became aware of Mon thanks to a small show I’m pretty sure NO ONE has heard of called Critical Role, they drew fanart for it quite regularly and I loved it! I even commented on their stuff from time and time, but there wasn’t much to it. Then I had a friend drag me into the world of FFXIV and to my surprise I met Mon…, after like a week or ten before I realised who she was, how would you describe Mon as a person? Like a rabbit doped up on sugar and caffeine, especially when she’s tired, cause then it’s like x2, what I’m saying is Mon is excitable and positive, which sadly doesn’t really gel well with my down to earth, grumpy I hate everything because I can’t act cute attitude that I’ve cultivated. So despite how much you’d think we are friends and how amazing and creative she is, we clash a lot, and honestly I feel like I am just WAITING for the moment, where she declares she has had enough of me and just throws me out of the friendship circle, because…, I know that not all people gel and sadly as much as I want to, I feel like I’m bringing her nothing but pain and I don’t want to do that, she’s creative and amazing, as well as so positive, she doesn’t need someone like me hurting her all the time.

@spookydraws, @spesiria, @totalobelisk, @ssksscrapboard, @horrorjuice, @riyamilea

“More friend’s you have trouble staying in contact with?” Mmm.. “Amazing wonderful people who you’d love to talk to for days on end, but you are always just too busy for them, too involved in yourself to even say hi?” Yeah.. “Are they even your friends anymore? Are you worth anything to them, I think at this point you should do them a favour and unfollow them, because in the schemes of their lives you aren’t exactly making an impact are you? If anything you slow them down, maybe you are just slowing everyone down? How many more of you ‘friends’ are going to be added to a stockpile of names you can just gush over, because you don’t know them as people anymore, they don’t impact your life and they probably haven’t had a second thought about them?” …, I just think they are amazing people who need to be recongised for how talented and beautiful they are, life is hard and the voices in our heads can be fucking disgusting to us, so everyone just needs a moment, a person to just hug them and them, I love you, I dunno if you even know me but you are so important, don’t forget how important you are and just how meaningful you are, I’m probably just a stranger to you, but you have never for one second not been important to me in some way, I hope you are happy and that you live every second of your life knowing that you are loved by atleast one person. Cause in the end, that’s all we really want isn’t it, we just want someone to tell us that they love us, that we mean something to them, that we are important.

@phantomdotexe [Twitter]

The living definition of too kind for her own good, it’s both your best quality and your worst quality. An amazing talented person who’s managed to influence a small cults worth of people under the ideal of one uniform symbol and then gets upset how she hasn’t done anything with it. I love you to bits, your drive, your kind nature, but at the same time I worry for you, you have so many self defeating thoughts and worries, all stemming from your lack of respect for your own skill and your ability to try and please everyone at once, which can especially be seen with the ‘everyones opinion is valid’ If you made short stories based on your vision or merch, you’d make money in no time, but as it might contradict with someone else's, you don’t. Now I know this is meant to be a ‘I love my friends’ thing, but the truth is I do, I love you so much, but at the same time I have to tell you, you need to stop fretting, you always worried about other people, asking when they are going to bed and such, but then you are equally as bad of the same thing, burning the candle at both ends, rather than trying to resolve any of your problems. As someone who cares, let other people worry and focus on yourself, see you strengths for what they really are and go and make bank.

Plasma-Dragon

Only had the pleasure to speak to you twice on live streams, mostly knew you for your art, I dunno what I can really say? Here, you’re a new friend and I can’t wait to get to know you more… Man this was short.., fuck.., I really wanted to say something else…, uh.. .. .... ....shit

Lady Violi

Man, I wish I drew more personal projects like you did, haha, Okay so, a bit of honesty, when I first saw you on DA I have to be frank and say I didn’t think much of your art back then, but I am so happy to see not only was I proben wrong, but your art had grown incredibly sicne there, no just in scale and scope, but in detail, colour, it’s fantastic, is there places it could use improvement, yeah, but no one is perfect, but that’s enough about you creatively, what about you the person!

Well like I said I didn’t think much at first, but as time went on I became a little intimadated by you, probably cause of my own guilt more than anything else, but, doesn’t really matter, I’m just happy we actually talked, because discussing things with you is always a high light of my day, I’m so eager when your online because have such a nice easy and approach manner of conversation that’s infectious to me, and I love it.

And the best part! It’s only been a year since we started talking, I’m so excited how we’ll grow in friendship as time goes on, I know it’ll be worth it!

---

And.., that’s it, If you actually read through all of these and not just your own, I’d be surpruised, but I’m happy I wrote this, even if my arm hurts, things needed to be said, apologises needed to be made and love needed to be shared, thank you all.

#Friends #Friendship #The list #Christmas #New year #Friendship List #Oh no he didn't again

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giny-weasley · 4 years

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1. Who was the last person you held hands with? Probably my friend Lauren 2. Are you outgoing or shy? Outgoing 3. Who are you looking forward to seeing? Nathan 4. Are you easy to get along with? Yes, without a doubt 5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you? If they were around, yes. 6. What kind of people are you attracted to? Kind people that I see the world in, even if they don’t see it themselves 7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now? No clue. And I’m really trying not to be hopeful. 8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind? A disastrous mix of my current crush and two of my exes 9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable? More than I wish it did 10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Lauren, as always 11. What does the most recent text that you sent say? ‘Love you too’ 12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now? If the World was Ending, Changes, Holding Hands, Matches, Into You 13. Do you like it when people play with your hair? Not at all 14. Do you believe in luck and miracles? Yes but I also believe in karma. 15. What good thing happened this summer? I took the space I needed 16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again? Hopefully not, but I don’t trust my heart, my mind, my body, or alcohol. 17. Do you think there is life on other planets? Most certainly 18. Do you still talk to your first crush? Most definitely. I’m on speaking terms with all my major crushes and exes, is this not a normal thing? 19. Do you like bubble baths? On occasion 20. Do you like your neighbors? No comment 21. What are your bad habits? Picking my face, doesn’t help with the body positivity at all 22. Where would you like to travel? Everywhere I haven’t been and everywhere I have. 23. Do you have trust issues? I don’t think so. 24. Favorite part of your daily routine? Texting my friends 25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with? Chin or stomach 26. What do you do when you wake up? Make tea and start on work 27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker? Usually not, but sometimes darker 28. Who are you most comfortable around? The people I love the most and often can’t tell them why 29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up? Well only one evenly partly broke up with me, but yes. Of course. 30. Do you ever want to get married? I don’t have an opinion atm. 31. Is your hair long enough for a pony tail? Yes 32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with? Megan Fox 33. Spell your name with your chin. xkdffz 34. Do you play sports? What sports? volleyball I guess 35. Would you rather live without TV or music? easy, without tv 36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them? a hundred times, yes 37. What do you say during awkward silences? meow 38. Describe your dream girl/guy? sweet, open about emotions, balances my happiness with their own 39. What are your favorite stores to shop in? target and Ikea 40. What do you want to do after high school? college? 41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance? yes 42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean? something is on my mind and I want someone to ask me about it 43. Do you smile at strangers? sometimes 44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean? outer space 45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning? tea and sun and hope 46. What are you paranoid about? hurting the people I love 47. Have you ever been high? yes 48. Have you ever been drunk? yes 49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about? nothing I want NO ONE to know 50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore? forest green 51. Ever wished you were someone else? of course, I'm a woman 52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself? my FOMO 53. Favourite makeup brand? Laura mercier 54. Favourite store? 55. Favourite blog? Lucy Moon 56. Favourite colour? red 57. Favourite food? lamb vindaloo 58. Last thing you ate? ice cream 59. First thing you ate this morning? eggs and avocado 60. Ever won a competition? For what? soccer I guess 61. Been suspended/expelled? For what? no 62. Been arrested? For what? no 63. Ever been in love? unfortunately 64. Tell us the story of your first kiss? sat outside on a red bench before class, a short kiss, but an exhilarating one 65. Are you hungry right now? no 66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends? both 67. Facebook or Twitter? facebook 68. Twitter or Tumblr? Tumblr 69. Are you watching tv right now? no 70. Names of your bestfriends? Lauren, Anna, Vivian, Claire 71. Craving something? What? yes, people 72. What colour are your towels? mostly white 72. How many pillows do you sleep with? two 73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals? not anymore 74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have? I know, one. 75. Favourite animal? sea otters, they wrap their tails togethers so they don’t drift away while they sleep 76. What colour is your underwear? blue 77. Chocolate or Vanilla? vanilla 78. Favourite ice cream flavour? anything with caramel 79. What colour shirt are you wearing? grey 80. What colour pants? cheetah print 81. Favourite tv show? psych 82. Favourite movie? life of Walter Mitty 83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2? there’s a 2? 84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street? mean girls 85. Favourite character from Mean Girls? emo girl 86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo? dory 87. First person you talked to today? Amy 88. Last person you talked to today? Amy 89. Name a person you hate? no one 90. Name a person you love? my brother 91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now? not particularly 92. In a fight with someone? not as far as I know 93. How many sweatpants do you have? one 94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have? two 95. Last movie you watched? inception, great movie 96. Favourite actress? carrie fisher 97. Favourite actor? Robert downey jr. 98. Do you tan a lot? no 99. Have any pets? cato 100. How are you feeling? okay 101. Do you type fast? yes 102. Do you regret anything from your past? nothing completely 103. Can you spell well? yes, spelling bee champ 104. Do you miss anyone from your past? of course 105. Ever been to a bonfire party? yep 106. Ever broken someone’s heart? yep 107. Have you ever been on a horse? yeah 108. What should you be doing? sleeping 109. Is something irritating you right now? not really 110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt? most definitely, like an emptiness in your stomach, like a train running over your head, like a hammer to the heart 111. Do you have trust issues? only when it comes to trusting myself 112. Who was the last person you cried in front of? probably my friend Claire, though I don’t think she knows this 113. What was your childhood nickname? se-se, bc my brother couldn’t pronounce my name 114. Have you ever been out of your province/state? yes 115. Do you play the Wii? a long time ago 116. Are you listening to music right now? of course 117. Do you like chicken noodle soup? not against it 118. Do you like Chinese food? definitely 119. Favourite book? book thief 120. Are you afraid of the dark? no 121. Are you mean? not usually 122. Is cheating ever okay? the short answer is no 123. Can you keep white shoes clean? definitely not 124. Do you believe in love at first sight? no 125. Do you believe in true love? depends on your definition 126. Are you currently bored? slightly 127. What makes you happy? friends and coffee and being productive and helping people 128. Would you change your name? yes 129. What your zodiac sign? pisces 130. Do you like subway? no 131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do? probably date them for a bit before dumping them in a horrible breakup, as per my track record 132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with? Lauren 133. Favourite lyrics right now? ‘all my friends are way too drunk to save me from my phone, so im sorry if I say something I mean’ 134. Can you count to one million? yes 135. Dumbest lie you ever told? can’t remember 136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed? closed 137. How tall are you? 5, 8 138. Curly or Straight hair? wavy? 139. Brunette or Blonde? brunette 140. Summer or Winter? summer 141. Night or Day? night 142. Favourite month? august 143. Are you a vegetarian? no 144. Dark, milk or white chocolate? darkkkkk 145. Tea or Coffee? coffee 146. Was today a good day? yes 147. Mars or Snickers? snickers 148. What’s your favourite quote? ‘everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. be kind. always’ 149. Do you believe in ghosts? yes 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page? book too farrrr

#me #questions #s talks

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