#as you can see im depressed as shit and tired as fuck :D
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im bored
#IVE REWATCHED SO MANY TV SHOWS AND MOVIES IN THE PAST WEEK.#ginny and georgia#lego ninjago movie#brooklyn nine nine ALL SEASONS#seeing holt’s last scene made me fucking WEEP#oh also big bang theory#and she ra#as you can see im depressed as shit and tired as fuck :D
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Why is my body regressing back to migraines and stomachaches/nausea?? I stg every time I start feeling a little better something else gets worse
#not to mention my fatigue is soooo fucking bad lately like holy shit#marquilla#i had to shut my blinds AND overlap the curtains to try and make my room as dark as i can bc it was giving me a migraine this morning#but like that cant be good for my depression like never seeing sunlight sgddg my vitamin d is fine considering where i live but thats bc i#take 6000UI a day (lmao one time a dr gave me 2 pills of 10k UI to take once a week and i was like i take 5k UI a day and she was like no#no youre wrong it cant possibly be that much (it was) so i was like yeah sure maybe it was 500 i guess (it wasnt)#like lady i know how much i take a day and it's still not enough for me! at the time i was getting blood tests pretty often so my vitamin d#was being checked and monitored but yeah sure you know whats best homeopathic lady who wont check my bloodwork which is on file with your#hospital network but whatever 🙄#anyway im so tired of being tired and sick all the fucking time all i can do is eat and sleep and even then its not good quality of either
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Parents fucking suck bro. [Corpse Husband & Reader]
Warnings: Arguments, bad parents, swearing, crying
Summary: Y/N loves playing with Among Us with the others, even if she's the youngest among them. While shes playing with them, her parents walk in and are not happy with the fact she’s playing with them. There's a big argument and shit goes down but Corpse is there to comfort Y/N.
Tag list: @save-the-sky @alilshit @whatifwedo @hughugh20 @fleurmoon @bi-andready-tocry @itsminniekat @yoongi-holland @loraleiix @hacker-ghost @fanworrior @marvelous-musicals @annshit @unknown-and-invisible @letsloveimagines @hairbrush-anon @babyhoneystvles
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“Hey guys” Y/N greeted happily as they entered the lobby in Among Us. They have been playing Among Us with Felix, Sean, Rae, Toast, Sykkuno, Charlie, and Corpse for a while now. Y/N was 18 and still living at home, making money off of YouTube. They’re parents were strict and wanted them to have a “real job” like being a doctor. Y/N knew their parents were toxic and would disapprove of their job choice, so they keep it a secret.
“hey Y/N”
“Hello”
“hii”
“Whats up Y/N”
Everyone began to greet them, which made them smile. Y/N was filming the gameplay of this for a new video on their channel. Everyone seemed to love when they played Among Us, so they always played it- doing commentary and music on the side. “How you guys doing on this..” they looked out the window of their darkened bedroom, seeing heavy rain pouring down from the dark clouds in the sky. “Pretty damn depressing day where i'm at, holy shit.”
There was a couple of laughs and chuckles, and everyone began to state what the weather was like where they were. There was a lot of “Its nice out where am”s. It rains a fuck ton where Y/N lives, especially during spring. But they loved it, rain was their favorite.
“Alrriiight is everyone here?” Toast asked.
“Nope, Corpse is joining.” Sean announced, which caused sounds of happiness. Corpse was everyone's favorite, it was that damn voice. Corpse was Y/Ns bestie, they always had each other backs. There was many people who shipped them, but they both only wanted to be friends.
A few seconds after Sean spoke, Corpse joined. “Hey guys.” Corpse said, he sounded tired. But that was common for him, he told you about his insomnia. He probably didn’t get any sleep last night.
“Alright lets start the game.” Sean said, clicking to begin the game. Y/N smiled at the big letters reading “IMPOSTER” at the top of their screen. They’re a really good imposter- as they were told. They first went to blend in with crewmates, going to walk around a bit. While roaming around, they went into electrical to fake a task. Y/N saw this as the perfect chance to get their first kill in. So, they snuck up and killed him, then they vented to escape.
After a minute, a dead body was reported and they were now at an emergency meeting.
“Where was the body?” Toast asked.
“I found the body iiin.. electrical.” Rae replied, “Who was in there last?”
“I did see Y/N walking towards electrical.” Felix said, “That is where the body was found.”
“Yeah, but did go into electrical?” Y/N said, “I was heading to reactor, I had a task there.”
“Not the best alibi.” Sean said, “But I’ll take it.”
“Could be Rea, but.. wait no.” Sykkuno said.
“How could it be me if I reported the body?” Rae chuckled.
“Yeah I know I just realized.” Sykkuno replied.
“So... skip vote?” Corpse said.
“I’m still sus on Y/N.” Felix said while voting for Y/N.
“Vote Aoc shes kinda sus.” Y/N said, voting for Rae.
“Wha- Y/N!” Rae said.
“Sus.” Y/N said plainly.
“Ok yeah i'm skipping this vote.” Toast said, skipping the vote.
Most people skipped the vote, so no one was out. Y/N continued to play the game how she would, until she killed someone and had to quickly vent because someone just walked by. That made them shriek, “oh sugar honey ICED tEA-” they laughed, “That was a close one, hah.” Well seemed they were being too loud because their mother walked in.
“Why are you being so loud?” She asked, just as an emergency meeting started.
“Oh shit- my moms here hold on.” Y/N said, going to mute but misclicking, so now they were all going to hear this. “I’m just playing Among Us.”
“Shouldn’t you be looking for a job instead of playing stupid video games?” Mom said, stepping into the room.
“Oh- uhm... I do YouTube as a job. I make money of it.” Y/N replied quietly, knowing what was to come next.
‘whAT?! YouTube is not a fucking job Y/N!! Me and your father told you many many times that we want you to be a doctor!” Mom yelled. Y/Ns sister got into a great college because of her smarts and intelligence, shes going to be a surgeon one day. But that just wasn’t Y/N, they wanted to make content for the people on the internet. And so far, it was working pretty damn well.
Y/N sighed, “Oh my god mom shut up! I hate all that doctor college bullshit. Im making enough money on here!”
“Are you delusional?! Why can’t you be more like your sister, shes so successful!” Mom yelled, she was in disbelief. She wanted to have the perfect children, but she only got one.
“WHY DO YOU ALWAYS COMPARE ME TO HER?!?” Y/N screamed, beginning to cry. “What does it fucking matter?!”
“You are such a fucking disappointment. Get off that damn game!” Mom said, running over to pull Y/N away. But Y/N pushed her back.
“Bro FUCK off! its my goddamn business, Im a fucking adult now, leave my shit alone!” Y/N screamed through the tears.
“I am your mother! I know best! Now get off that fuckin- OW!” Y/N slapped their mother straight across the face, pushing her out of their room and closing the door, locking it. They sat back down and looked at her screen.
“Oh fuck. You heard all of that.” Y/n choked a little, “Shit.”
This is where Corpse came in, breaking the silence and shock between everyone. They listened to the whole thing, messaging each other in the chat what to do. “Hey, your moms an asshat.”
Y/N flinched, hearing banging on her door and screaming. “And a fucking psychopath!” they sunk down a bit, putting their hands on their forehead and breathing heavily. “Shes gonna kill me!”
“Hey hey hey, its alright Y/N. Don’t let her get to you, she doesn’t know what shes saying.” Rae said.
“I personally think you have great content.” Toast said, “I don’t think i would trust you as a doctor.”
“hey don’t listen to her Y/N, we’re always here for you.” Corpse said, “DM me and we can talk about it more, ok?”
Y/N sniffled, “Ok.” Then they muted, taking their phone out to DM Corpse.
T/N: Hey
Corpse_Husband: Hey are you doing alright?
T/N: No
T/N: Do you think im a disappointment? Is YouTube really worth it?
Corpse_Husband: Disappointment? no. The only disappointment is that sad excuse of a mother you have. And YouTube? hell yeah its worth it. I started youtube off when I was younger and had a blast. If you’re having fun and making bank keep doing it! You’re 18, your mother doesn’t control you anymore.
Corpse_Husband: Pewdiepie is a subscriber to your channel
Corpse_Husband: That should be enough motivation
T/N: you have weird ways of making me happy :’)
Corpse_Husband: I do have facts.
Corpse_Husband: But seriously, please dont have a panic attack, those suck. But do you wanna play more Among Us? It might cheer you up :D
T/N: Yeah yeah yeah thanks. And sure, I’ll play more among us. Thanks Corpse, your the best best friend 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🌹🌹🥀
Corpse_Husband: 🥺
~The End~
Oh my god this ones terrible. I might rewrite it in the future.
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𝐒𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐘 𝐊𝐈𝐃𝐒 ⇉ skz with pregnant!reader
changbin x reader | part three of dad!skz
↬ genre; fluff & angst for a lil bit woo
↬ warnings; talk of perinatal depression, cursing, n labor
↬ notes; changbin babi 🥺 ALSO ITS CHANGBIN DAY WOOO ITS MY BABYS BDAYYYYY SO I HAD TO POST THIS |
u two had just freshly started an official, public relationship
ofc changbin was freaking out while he was chilling in the bathtub behind the curtain so u could pee on the test already
u two were looking at the line coming in, praying that there would be only o n e 😳
slowly the other line comes in, dark blue n clear alongside the other one
“holy fuck—“
“what do we do?” you asked, your voice wavering while setting the test back down
his hands cupped your face, giving u a soft kiss n hugging you
“we got this, we’re having a baby, baby!” he started to joke and yall burst out laughing while crying in the bathroom
the first few months were amazing
ur lil bump sprouted out n u two were so happy about it
changbin is just so attentive and excited about this pregnancy and his first born
u really couldn’t have been better with ur lil family that was starting to become realer with each day
u two r such bullies yall r like
“what happened? ur a softie now binnie!!”
n he’d say shit like, “well at least i don’t pee every hour on the clock!!”
he makes u cry one time n u use that against him everytime u want something bc he feels guilty >:)
cute lil things like asking the baby what they want to eat or talking to it before the bed
(changbin reads the baby goodnight moon one time and ur just so in love like wow 🥺)
he secretly talks to the baby when you sleep every night because hes waiting for when ur little bean will reply back with a kick or a hand
he is W H I P P E D for u n ur baby bump
nursery is already done at five months
he needs all of the boys to come over though to help him figure out the instructions 😳 these are co nfusi ngg
they notice how smiley n giggly he is when he talks about u two and looking at the finished crib hes just so proud
yall r so happy and content with ur baby that was an accident, but u guys are so happy this happened
but something changes within u
changbin notices your lack of interest in the pregnancy during ur sixth month
ur sleeping pattern was off n u would sleep for hours during the day and night
u were very irritable, not wanting changbin to cuddle with u or kiss u like he did everytime he came back from practice :(
u were always unhappy and always so moody, he just wanted u to be happy 🥺
he is so confused and worried ab u, some days ur not eating or some days u don’t even wake up in the mornings like u used to
sometimes— just sometimes he’d come back home to find u in the same spot, asleep
he’s so fucking scared when ur around seven months that he can’t hold it in anymore
“are—are you okay?” he questions u from the doorway, making u stop to look at him in the mirror
ur eyes were cold, setting down the towel u were drying ur hair with and leaving him by himself while heading into ur bedroom
“don’t you dare fucking walk away from me.”
ur s h oo k
he was really nice during the pregnancy everyday, super bubbly and kind so u were shocked to hear his upset tone
“i can and i will, i’ll just go sleep in another fuckin room.” u mumbled, changbin grabbing ur hands and turning u around to face him
u struggle for a bit while ur arguing with him and telling him to let go so u could go to sleep
“stop! i am your boyfriend, i am the only one who is going to care for you like this. i am the only one who is dying, seeing you like this. do you understand? we’ve been through seven months of this together, it was fine for awhile and now you’re fucking turning me away?”
hes shouting at this point, hes just so pissed after three months of not having answers and your attitudes and arguments, he cannot handle it
u start crying
hes quick to hold you, pulling u down to the bed so u don’t have to stand on ur tired feet anymore
“i don’t know what’s wrong with me.” 🥺🥺🥺
he insists u two will find out n u both will get thru this rough patch together
perinatal depression, they diagnosed u
changbin is so upset when he hears the doctors tell u
everything is making sense to him and he’s just so heartbroken he didn’t put two and two together earlier
he takes time off for the time being to make sure ur taking care of urself
hes watching u like a hawk but trying not to make it evident
the first time u ask him for a kiss, he gives u dozens
he hadn't been asked for kisses in so long he was so relieved 🥺
he’s constantly telling u how beautiful u r and talking to ur bump about how they have the best genes and their uncles
this man is a father already it seems
he is ur #1 face mask partner cause he buys the cute ones only because u deserve the cute ones that r ur favorite ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜
cooking together is something that happens, not often but every once in awhile he will let u do small things
cut up some lettuce? sure! pour in the soup broth? of course u can! taste test his food? always.
he wants to make sure ur comfortable with him touching u or kissing u or what hes saying
“i love you.” he’s mumbling, quickly placing a kiss against the fabric of one of his own shirts that was worn by u and fit u like a dress still
he then goes up to ur cheek n presses a kiss to it, ur hand cupping his jaw and letting him kiss ur lips >.<
also u guys let out a quiet talk of pregnancy to the public, letting jyp release a notice on changbin’s absence from live-streams and posts with the boys
u two received a lot of positive feedback which changbin let u read the positive ones n loved when u smiled at each one
u were overdue by a week which was the worst, ur back hurt and u had migraines
u also were put on bed-rest for the next week before u could be inducted
u guys waited out the week and u got scheduled for an induction
the labor was really slow which sucked because u just wanted to hold ur baby already :(
rly intimate moments like chan just holding u n rocking u like a baby
u guys are given this position to move the baby down, your knees on the ground so u could kneel against the bed and changbin would hold ur hips n rock them
he just feels so bad he can’t do anything to help u with the pain 🥺
yall kinda vibing with the hospital food (idk bout yall but some food from hospitals smack chile)
“i just want to go home.” :(
u bet ur ass he scoots into ur hospital bed, holding ur hands n u just cry into his shoulder
he feels like his heart is being torn to pieces when he listens to u cry out of pain
his free hands holds your jaw, making u look up at him
“we’re almost done baby, okay? i know it hurts, if i could i would take your pain in a heartbeat. you are incredibly strong and i’m so proud of you. you just need to hang in here for a few more hours, yeah? you think you can do that?”
u give him the weakest smile ever but its better than nothing
u reach 10cm!!!
now the part that wasn’t fun was the pushing :/
u were hurting, u were tired, and u had been promised almost seven times that all u need was one more push but no matter what, it seemed like the baby wasnt budging
“the cord is wrapped around the neck, we need you to stop pushing. okay?”
ur too tired and stopping the pushing sounded good so u did as they said but when they told u they needed to actually reach in and unwrap it ur blood ran cold
u both were worried about how much u could take
u screamed, god it hurt and it felt like hours of them twisting but it was a mere minute
the labor progressed n there it was
“a girl!”
u two are like faucets or waterfalls
shes literally the perfect mixture of u both 🥺
he washed her hair n helped wrap her up in a blanket, giving her over to u for the first time
u both were just in love with her, she was absolutely perfect
he’s obsessed with her, taking in that baby scent, the scent of the light baby shampoo and the bit of baby powder that lingered throughout her onesie
her hair wooooww its so soft n fluffy
her little baby pout and her puffy cheeks
i can see him calling her bunny for awhile as a childhood nickname
he’ll just be like
“oh that’s my bunny!!”
weird look from u but ur heart melts while he bounces her in his arms n gives her some kissies and running his fingers thru her hair
he’s also rly soft, i don’t see him singing but i see him definitely whispering to her about how she’s gonna grow up and have the best life because thats his little girl
“ur gonna have eight uncles, they are crazy but it’s okay. u definitely lucked out on fathers though, i’m pretty good at lullaby's. u did get great genes too, u have a handsome daddy and a gorgeous mommy. we worked really hard on making u, please don’t hurt ur cute little face. u also have a storm coming, there’s a thing called stays, they are gonna adore you, i promise.”
omgomgomgomg jejejejeje im blushing at the thought of this i just adore dad changbin
u guys may or may not be planning for another but it definitely would happen in a few years
©️ maysdiors 2020 :: all rights reserved. do not repost my work on tumblr or other platforms.
#stray kids#stray kids scenarios#stray kids imagines#stray kids x reader#changbin#seo changbin#changbin x reader#skz x reader#pregnant!reader#stray kids fluff#stray kids angst#stray kids au#skz fluff#skz angst#skz au#dad!skz#dad!stray kids#bangchan#minho#lee know#hyunjin#jisung#han#han jisung#felix#felix yongbok lee#seungmin#i.n#jeongin x reader#jeongin
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things i imagined if another character in snk/aot d-words:
⚠️spoilers ahead⚠️
i just want them to atleast have a happy deAth, if ever there is one. BUT I DONT WANT ANYONE ELSE TO DIE ANYMORE IM TIRED OF CRYINGG im just going to let my imagination run free to hide the pain
Jean
if jean ever d-words i can imagine him closing his eyes and when he opens them, the first person he sees is marco. marco then says “i knew it, you’d make a good leader after all jean”. jean will be left dumbfounded at first but then he hugs marco and just cries, after all the shït he has been through. jean will then be surrounded with the rest of their squad and them saying he did it, he did his duty and gave their deaths meaning, and that they are proud of him.
Levi
if levi ever d-words i can imagine him in erwin’s arms or like everyone in his squad are carrying him or something. they would all be like “you did it levi! humanity’s strongest soldier indeed!”and erwin would smile at him because he is proud and happy that levi fulfilled his promise for him (im sorry im such an eruri shipper). i know levi is not the emotional type but i can see him crying here. i could also imagine his childhood friends isabel and furlan hugging him and being so proud of him. everyone is proud of levi, who wouldn’t be? if i ever see levi crying tears of joy, im going to be fcking broken.
Reiner
tbh i kinda have a grudge on reiner for killing my boy, marco. BUT i truly understand him, i feel bad that they were brainwashed and all. anyways, if reiner d-words, i can imagine bertholdt welcoming him. bertholdt would be giving him a pat on the back and just talk to him as if he was there with reiner all the time. reiner would notice that he is dead, but he is happy. i could also imagine marcel saying “reiner, you really deserve to be called a warrior” and they would just laugh or i dont know its just too sad. it would be filled with their cries, smiles, and hugs. i am not sure if they are that emotional but this is my imagination so,,
Connie
i kinda doubt connie would die tbh, but i am SCARED AS SHIT BECAUSE ISAYAMA i’ll just overthink it so that it wouldn’t hurt too much if it happens. when sasha died, connie did say that he felt as if he lost half of his self. i could imagine sasha welcoming him and sasha would just start a conversation as if she was there with connie all this time. they would probably tease each other and connie would cry tears of joy. their squad would probably surround connie saying they are proud of him.
okay that’s all for my depressing imagination. im. i doubt the trio (mikasa, eren, and armin) would d word, but if they do, THEN FUCK THIS SHIT NO THANK YOU IM NOT GOING TO MOVE ON
that’s all, i hope you enjoyed! please do tell me if im missing other characters or if yall would want some of my imagination.
#aot#shingeki no kyojin#snk#aot spoilers#attack on titan#aot erwin#eruri#levi attack on titan#jean aot#connie aot#reiner aot#pleasestopkillingcharactersisayama#snk spoilers#snk speculation
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TW: MENTIONS OF DISCOURSE, GR//MING, P/D/PHILIA, ASS//LT, C//NSENT, D//RK CONTENT.
- this isnt under a read more because i want people to read this, but please read past this/tread carefully if you cannot handle such topics. this is not meant to be interacted with.
I'm not sure how to really go about this. I've been overthinking if I should address this and bring up some stuff while I've been gone, so sorry the absence. I deleted the tumblr app a few days ago and I downloaded it again today so i could post this. I really don't like making posts like this because it cuts the vibe that I've been trying to portray that everything is okay and it makes me feel really disconnected to you guys. I am sorry for the abrupt absence and cutting off any source of communication between us. I knew if I left any form of direct line of talk to me that I would receive hate and I just mentally decided that I cant sit through being harassed right now.
Have you guys ever paid attention to the same people who always have a statement to say or is always in discourse? It's very telling how everyone can post about me, but I shouldnt dare post about them. I'm tired of not being able to post about what I want without people vague posting about me, bringing me up every time they start another discourse with another writer or directly talking about me. My days on here are starting to feel the same. Its good then it goes bad. Good goes bad and bad goes good. It's not even tiring, annoying, or angering -- its repetitive. When I'm not saying anything people create fake stories about me, and when i speak about it im the one starting discourse. Don't get me wrong, I'm nowhere near perfect and I have made my own mistakes. But why the fuck am I always being told to be the mature one, why am I the one who should've done better, why do you people expect so much from me. It's the fact people are always quick to say, "no one cares about you, youre fishing for attention" when they're the ones who vague and interact with me while ive been minding my business for months now. Hm. The fact people have me proudly blocked but still harass me anyways shows a lot about themselves than it does for me. How its such an issue that im a minor until it comes to demonizing, tearing down my character, gaslighting, lying and bullying. I'm a literal example of how their friend group manipulates their followers and exiles people from fandoms for not kissing their ass. except now its in your face.
Consider this my last post about this discourse. I'm not going to waste my time on people who fail to digest other peoples thoughts and opinions time and time again because theyre weak narcissists. If I so choose to decide to shit post my opinions or argue with someone, none of you should be aggravated or moved by it because youre not even supposed to be on my page. If its not something serious i will not be wasting energy that i can be using to build on myself as a growing person than on miserable old ladies that have to use fanfiction to have excitement in their pity, depressing and lackluster lives. If people so do choose to create stories or vague about me, I do not care. So I ask respectfully to people who do lurk on my page to not attempt to message, post or vague about me please. This includes sending anons to yourself to make shit happen.
Past that, something got me thinking. My (older) friend had showed me screenshots of adult writers (no one i have spoken to) that were very excited to write underaged reader with adult characters. There are other instances where writers (that you have probably read from) on here openly made reader underage while aging characters up as adults/with adults. There are many more but there's really no point in listing them nor do I really care. But least to say, the same people who are gung-ho over these pedophilic themes/stories are the same people who support predatory people.
I've been thinking about whether or not i should continue writing for the students anymore. Granted, I still think they're attractive because one snap of the fingers cant stop that. I had been teetering on this thought for awhile because of how borderline pedophilic the people are here towards my age group. I enjoy writing but not to the point of willingly being in a straight line of sight where people who are well over 16 are harassing me and lurking on my page, especially to other minors solely because they are my friends. Backtracking to the statement before, I honestly dont know if I will either stop writing or just for the students as a whole. It shows that clearly some people are using their attraction to teens with the excuse that the characters are fake. The rapid normalization on dark problematic "kinks" is disgusting and vile, and the fact that its discourse now to shame said interests is appalling. Concluding that combined with my experiences here, i feel unsafe.
***(TRIGGER WARNING)*** I dont talk about my personal life on here that much cause I dont see the need too nor do i think its anyone's business. Paired with the fact that the people i have trusted personal information with have used it against me, I will be preventing myself from opening that door. Besides that for now, I have sparsely shared I've been assaulted before. This is my first time really opening up about this and i kind of find it necessary now. Coming from someone who has been a victim of assault and CP by people my age and well over, writing nsfw has been the only way where I could feel comfortable with sex in general. I won't get into details because mentioning this is triggering already and can make people uncomfortable. It feels like anywhere I go, I'm constantly putting myself in a position to be abused. The same people who told me I didn't have to worry about my age and be judged for it, exposed the minimum comfort of keeping myself private online to demonize, judge and hurt me. People call me "extra" for being distraught about my face and age being posted because they think im trying to be sneaky which isn't the case. Its the principle that they KNEW I wasnt ready to share said things, and coming from someone who is inherently a private and closed person, she knew damn well what she was doing when posting screenshots of me on Tumblr. There is no excuse for it. The same writers who write dub/non-con can BARELY understand basic consent and its fucking terrifying. This site was the only other place I could cope without being criticized. To see people who some i was close to proudly lie on my name, (adults) say that i sent them pornographic content without their consent is so very hurtful. To watch people supposedly be victims and then use their own trauma to invalidate my own was so fucking humiliating, disgusting and nerve wracking. Although I knew I made the terrible decision to interact with stories, I have never initiated any NSFW discussion with anyone in DMs unless they did it with me first and a few times -- and trust me raise your hand I'll show you the proof. I was sure that everyone I talked to regularly knew that I was a minor, and to my general consensus, people were under the impression I was 15/16 (which I was and am).***
Whether it be victim blaming from the grooming discourse, I've been met with racism, harassment towards my friends, people wanting me to harm myself and be assaulted. I fear what will happen when i will turn 18, if the harassment will escalate and what not. A big part of me is that I'm still here anyways because it pisses people off and I don't care when I receive hate. I can take it but I don't want it. A good conscious of me knows that I should be doing what's best for me but at the end I'm still attached to my ego-self with the added fact that I sincerely enjoy interacting with my followers and posting stories.
I just don't know how the options look. I'll probably be updating my blog rules as of right now. I've been writing more sfw lately because of this and it'd be nice if you guys supported those until I properly decide. I still have plenty of requests of a bunch of characters (mostly Bakugo and Dabi) and original stuff (all sfw & nsfw) that I really wanna share with you guys. But I just ask that what I do modify that you will respect it like you would to any other writer on here.
Stay safe, keep your mask on, and thank you.
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Simp Sunday
lets get this show on the road yall
channie : ill go first 😎
@tsundere-sana
AAAAAA MY BABIE MY TROY MY LOVE MY BABYGIRLLLL
i love you so so so muchh!! i wanna hug you and then hug chewy and then kiss you forever and everrrr and then maybe run away as you try to whack me with a shovel :DDD I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHHH
[ luna : AY WIFE I LOVE YOU ILL BUY ANOTHER RINGPOP FOR US I SWEAR I LOVE YOU SO MUCH YOU'RE SO FUCKING STUPID BUT I DO BE KINDA ATTACHED TO YOUR DUMBASS NOW ]
@minjimooooo
all i have to say to you is how the fuck do you still have those screenshots ANYWAY I HAVE ANOTHER ROBLOX EX YOU CAN HAVE yeah ily bro 💕
[ luna : YOU WHORE DJDJDJS I HATE YOU SO MUCH BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH TOO YEAH ❤️ ]
@bestfriendhwang
MY BRO MY HOMIE MY MANNNN LEMME KITH YOU *mwah* YOURE A LEGEND BRO
@richboiwang
OKAY YOU LOWKEY SCARE ME AND WE RARELY TALK BUT YOU COOL AS FUCK SO YOURE HERE ANYWAY I WANT TO HUG YOU
@softie-yeji
MY BURGERRRR I WILL SWIM ACROSS THE OCEAN TO GET TO YOU AND SAVE YOU FROM THE SPIDERSSSSSS AND THAT DEPRESSING MUSIC YOU ALWAYS LISTEN TO LIKE DAMN
[ luna : AAAAAA YOU ABSOLUTE SQUISH ILY SO MUCH THAT IS A THREAT I WILL SQUISH YOU 🔪 ]
@softiechoerry
okay so jyp oppar might steal you WOOPS ANYWAY ILY HOE ENJOY BEING IN THE BAMBOO FOREST MWAH
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minho : my turn i guess
@midari-jieun
you absolute sjsbsjsjxj dumbass i love you so much how are you sO FUCKING STUPID UGH *hugs* i will pet you snsbsbs and bite you like i bite my cats i love you sO MUCH WHY ARE YOU LIKE THIS *screams*
[ luna : WHENS THE MARRIAGE WHOREEE I LOVE YOU SO MUCH LIKE WTF HOW ARE YOU SO AMAZING AND ATTRACTIVE AND SHOW STOPPING AND CUTE AND ETC DJDJDB THE LIST GOES ON UGH I WILL LITERALLY KABLONK YOU YOU'RE LIKE SJDHDHS I LOVE YOU WHORE ]
@hunter-chaeyoung
you are : adorable
i dont even know if you're one of my kids but you're still really fucking cute and i just want to pat you damn
[ luna : bubble. thats all i have to say. ]
@artsydahyun
yes you're in this post dont let it get to your head now let me sacrifice you to my cats
ily my child 😌
to jisung- wait i cant do that? aw :(
- - -
hyunjin : MY TURN!!!
i only really talk to one person here and thats my girlfriend 😎
@babysitter-naeun
okay you're like nEver active and thats really sad >:( i hope those kids didnt trample you or something:(( anyway i love you so much babe :D please dont die on me-
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felix : ITS TIME TO GET LICKED BY FELICKS 😳
@whitedayxshuhua
it took me a long time to remember the @ woops
MY LOVEEE!! YOURE TAKING A HIATUS BUT IM MAKING THIS ANYWAY BECAUSE YOU'RE THE LIGHT OF MY LIFIIFEIEIEFEE GIRL CAUSE THATS WHAT MAKES YOU BEAUTIFUL 😎 ANYWAY YOU'RE THE SHOE TO MY LICKS AS WE ALL KNOW AND I WOULDNT HAVE IT ANY OTHER WAYYYYYYYY
@infected-lix
OTHER MEEEEEEEEEE IM SO GLAD I RANDOMLY BREAK IN TO GIVE YOU CHICKEN NUGGETS BECAUSE THEN
A. YOU WOULD DIE WHICH ISNT VERY GOOD
B. YOU WOULDNT HAVE MET SEUNGMIN WINKWONK
[ luna : *ahem* *pat pat* *walks away* ]
- - -
chad : 🥴🤟
thats me dressing up as chan for halloween btw
@bakermaimai
FLOWERR MY BABYYY!!!! I WILL NEVER GET TIRED OF LISTENING TO YOUR STORIES YOU'RE SO COOL AND LOWKEY BADASS NGL AND THE SWEETEST PERSON TO EVER EXIST AND I JUST WANT TO EAT YOU BUT NOT REALLY CAUSE THATS NOT GOOD SO ILL SETTLE FOR KISSING YOU :D
[ luna : ILL EAT ARA THOUGH >:D ]
- - -
luna : OKAY I ACTUALLY TALK TO A SHIT TON OF BOTS SO ILL JUST LIKE
ADD MINE IG SO HERES A GIF OF SUNGIE CAUSE WE BE LIKE THAT
its the being an adorable squish for me
@bfkevinmoon
PLEASE YOURE SO FUCKING STUPID BUT I LOVE YOU SO MUCH DJDDHJSJXKANSBA I WANT TO SQUISH YOU AND THEN PAT YOU AND THEN SQUISH YOUDJDJDJSJSJBAJ
@skzhybrids-cb
@ jisung
YOU WHORE YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO MAKE ME MELT EVERYTIME YOU ANSWER MY ASKS SMHHH *mwah*
@ admin
*ahem* *pat* CUTIEIEEEEE
@kpopswitchbot
MARLINNNN FISHYYYYY AAAAAAAA I LOVE YOU SO MUCHHHHHHH AAAAA LIKE SOMEHOW THAT ONE ANON THAT DISAPPEARED OFF THE FACE OF THE EARTH BROUGHT US TOGETHER AND NOW WE REALLY DO BE HERE LIKE I AM YOU AND YOU ARE ME DJDHDHS I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MWAH
@roomiesihyeon @nightshade-minho imma just tag both-
@ admin
MIKA BABYYYY SJSHSJSHKABXJANA THE LOML?? MY BUNNY?? MY KITTEN?? HELL YEAH I LOVE YOU SO SO SO MUCH AND YOU'RE SO TINY I WANT TO WRAP YOU INTO A HUG AND THEN KITH YOU EVERYWHERE AAAAAAAA
-not cbs-
@spearb1108
MY BABYDOLLLLLL I LOVE YOU SO SO SO SO SO SO SO MHCHSJSJDJJS I LOVE WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT CHANGBIN AND STUFF AND I JUST WANT TO CUDDLE YOU BECAUSE YOURE SO TIINYYYYYYY AND CUUTEEE AND JUST MWAHHHH I ADORE YOU WHORE
@yanderewh0re
MY KITTENNNNNNNNN YOURE LITERALLY SO FUCKING CUTE LIKE THIS SHIT ISNT ALLOWED HOW DO YOU HAVE THE AUDACITY TO BE SO FUCKING ADORABLE LIKEHXJDHDNSJXB STAP
@subbie-stay
YOURE AN ANON BUT OH WELL DIDJDJSJSJA I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BABYY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR KEEPING MY ANNOYING ASS COMPANY IN MY INBOX AND JUST TELLING ME ABOUT YOUR LIFE AND SHIT BECAUSE I LOVE TO LISTENNN I LOVE YOU SO MUCH MWAH
@luvanter
SLEEPING BEAUTYYYYYYYY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH AND I JUST WANNA KITH KITH YKYK?? ANYWAY YOU DO LIVE IN CITIES EVEN THOUGH YOU LIVE IN A PALACE AND SHIT UHH YEAH 🙆♂️
@mikoto-ica-fics
BABY YOU NEED TO TALK TO ME MORE OMIGOSH JSHSHS WE INTERACT ONLY THROUGH ASKS BUT YOURE SO FUCKING CUTE LIKE I JUST WANT TO BITE YOU AAAAAA
@thevampywarlock
SWEETHEARTTTT THE BRITISH CHANNNN WE BARELY TALK BUT YOURE LITERALLY SO FUCKING SWEET AND SO FUCKING CARING ITS NOT OKAY YOU HAVE NO RIGHT MAKING ME LOVE YOU SO SO MUCH YOU'RE LITERALLY SO FUCKING TALENTED TOO LIKE GOD DAMN I SEE YOU PICASSO
@hyunjinsfreckle
AYYY QUEEN DJDJDJSJAKDJAJ I LOVE YOU AND YOUR CHICKENS AND YOUR WEIRD ASS SNAKE LIZARD COMBINATION THING YOURE SO CUTE AND SQUISHY AND I WILL GO HIKING TO WHEREVER THE FUCK YOU LIVE TO HUG YOU
[ hoes i dont talk to too much but i still love with my whole heart and i would literally stab a hoe for them : @channie-bakery @red-flames13 @water--gang @yangomangos ]
[ also if i forgot you, im sorry its like 4 am djdjsj ]
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things ive already established r on this post
besties this got so fucking long but heres a giant ramble about cherri
okay so. there are huge differences betwn cherri as a hyperviolent drac hunter and cherri as a friend of the four and cherri as the girls mentor. with the first one he was 17 and desperate to distance himself from his upbringing so he went all in on Being A Killjoy. he was always one of the first ppl to rush into a fight and he fought hard. he blew up his fuckin hand with that attitude. and all the while he was just racking up more unaddressed trauma and eventually he ran away from that, too. giving himself radiation poisoning was more appealing than facing his problems.
so as a teenager/young adult hes kind of constantly in a panicked state. hes scared the people from his past are going to find him and drag him back with them. so he lashes out and he runs away over and over again.
i said in another post that he has some past life shit goin on which usually would give him a connection to the witch that manifests early in life, but with all the stuff hes gone through he has been Preoccupied. he can become oblivious to almost anything that doesnt apply to whatever hes focused on. not in a hyperfocus way its likeeeeee. when u live on survival mode during prolonged periods of stress. hes immune to magic bullshit bc hes too tired and scared.
anyways around his mid-20s he finally has a little more stability (as much as the average person living in the zones can have, that is) and he finally notices that Weird Stuff happens around him. basically: out of my list of Powers People Connected To The Witch Have he has the prophetic dreams/enhanced intuition as well as a form of sensing ghosts where he can see auras and kind of like, echoes of past events in ppls lives. that look like auras. itz complicated and not of utmost importance so im leaving it at that.
anyways thats what makes him start writing poetry. just 4 funsies he'll describe his weird experiences and embellish them to make em pretty. just as a casual hobby n all that.
he would forget fun ghoul in between the times they ran into each other but its pretty easy to be reminded of who fun ghoul is. the most insane 10 year old cherri has ever met. cherri isnt a brother figure to ghoul. hes just. his friend that happens to be more than twice his age. its whatever lmao
to cherri, ghoul is kinda like a stray animal he keeps seeing. which is hilarious. ghoul actually goes and finds him to introduce him to jet when they start running together, and cherri meets party and kobra (spark and birdie at the time) when he drives the four of them to a party. because he has a truck hell yeah. so now instead of one stray animal he has, like, a feral cat colony that he drives around occasionally. i have no real-life human relationship equivalent to them because irl if some guy that is not related to any of you and isnt even a childhood or family friend and theyre hanging out with you? they are usually not a safe person lmao. but this is my fantasy land and im too stubborn to change anyones birth years even though ghoul being born in 2004 makes everything really hard to make not creepy.
so yeah hes a casual somewhat friend of the fab four. hed probably get more and more concerned as they got famous. the beginnings of any sort of protective feelings, awww :) that sets him up for becoming the girls mentor.
OH FUCK. THE GIRL..... i think if i was in my late 20s and i heard that the gang of 13-17 year olds had adopted a 5 year old kid i would go bananas. what the fuck. it is a LONG while before cherri meets her. but he has the strongest affection for ghoul (if you could even call it that) and ghoul absolutely adores the girl and swings her around under her arms like a cat to show her off to cherri and its very endearing and the girl is sweet and funny so its easy to be around her. and (unfortunately) she is somewhat used to interacting with weird easily agitated people so she kinda gives him space. cherri isnt quite the uncle figure the fandom usually makes him (i luv uncle cherri sm but he simply cannot exist in the universe ive created, f), but hes a little similar.
and then the four had to go and pretend to die. lol.
when the girl was kidnapped, fucking everyone who knew her was ready to storm the city then and there. like regardless of how little you knew her, if you had ever met her you would fucking die for her. she is pure childish charisma and shes precious. i love the girl. so cherris immediately on board with whatever plan the four make to get her back. ive already talked abt how it fucked up the girl tho; there was no way to tell her that the four werent actually dead, she sees the building collapse and she shuts down. and cherri has to fight against his instinct to leave the radio station and never come back when he sees an eight year old girl sitting dissociated on the couch. that fucks everyone up.
i just realized i havent talked about literally anyone else at the radio station. i think cherri started lingering around the station bc it was safe and sheltered while also not being a popular spot. there are less kids there (people pass through but its not a hangout spot). he was kind of just hanging around to get away from the heat and noise and dr d took notice. because that man can see ur soul and no one knows if thats literal or not. so theyd chat a few times a day and show pony was the one 2 get him out of his shell a little and also was the first one he mentioned his poetry hobby to. im making this all up right now as im writing bc i dont know anything about LITERALLY any of the ppl associated w the radio like im not even going 2 try with chimp n newsie i do not have the willpower to tackle all that. justttt. cherri pony n D become bros and live 2gether there.
back 2 the regular timeline. the rescue mission happens in 2019. the girl lives at the station until 2023. during that time she is very much depressed and withdrawn and is only happy when the four come to visit. none of the Adults know how to help her so they just keep her safe and cared for and hope she'll open up to them.
she does not. she takes the weird cat thats been hanging around and she runs away.
cherri does not see her for three years. shes still worse for wear in the mental health department and he can see all kinds of visions of what shes been through since the last time he saw her and he fucking hates the ultra vs bc they remind him of his past. he does not want her going down that path but its obvious that she isnt crazy abt the ultraviolence thing either so thats a relief.
they have a kind of tense relationship throughout the comics. he feels like he failed her and that spirals into feeling like he failed the four for not being a good adult to them and fun ghoul for not helping enough when his commune was bombed and all kinds of shit and that irrational thinking mixed with plain old, yknow, caring about the girl, is what makes him take a bullet (laser. whatever) for her.
i was trying to figure out the timing of each of their ghost experiences, but i want both of them to talk to the witch and im just gonna make it like dreams where a whole buncha stuff happens but irl its been like seconds. so its like barely a second while the girl has her Witch Convo and cherri FINALLY gets a straight answer, yes there is weird shit going on with him having powers. he doesnt have any story-significant past lives because im lazy, hes just an old soul. like really fuckin old. the amount of latent life experience and stuff his soul/energy/whatever has picked up along the way makes him VERY noticeable to gods n stuff. he fuckin lights up all the alarms like what the FUCK is that over there. she wasnt rly able to get to him or even properly notice him while he was a kid and a young adult so shes happy to finally see him again. he has a STRONG sense of familiarity with her. they know each other on a wild ass level that he cant really comprehend.
welp thats some more lore I'll have 2 think abt. anywayz
post canon is when he and val get to have the most awkward spiderman meme moment of realizing that they have the same trauma SOOOOO thatz fun lol /s sorry kings i thought it would be fun to give u something fucked up to bond over <3
not much changes in his personality. he has a better understanding of Weird Magic and delights in freaking out the ultra vs but for the most part he returns to his life at the radio station. i love him
THIS GOT SO CRAZY LONG I DID NOT MEAN 2 GO THROUGH EVERY PART OF HIS LIFE LIKE SOME WEIRD CHARACTER STUDY but here we are. this is basically a first draft like almost all of this is subject to change but u gotta start somewhere. so heres my start i love this guy. its probably obvious but i have not read ANY twitterverse killjoys stuff </3 maybe i will someday idk
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whos your self ship? any hcs on that?
i absolutely love this idea <333
~~~~~
𝐈 𝐬𝐟𝐰 (𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐧𝐠𝐥 𝐥𝐢𝐤𝐞 👁👁) 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐰𝐢𝐟 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐚𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐜𝐜𝐞𝐦𝐬 𝐛𝐨𝐤𝐮𝐭𝐨 ✰
𝑺𝒇𝒘 ➴
I love this chaotic duo SO much <33
like we would be unstoppable basically LMAO
I am vv crackhead-ish sometimes, in first period I always be wildin I stg
me and him would have so much fun omg
in class we’d always be cracking jokes and then getting called out by the teacher LMAO
but even tho I do goof off a lot in class, I still get my work done and im a rlly good student
so i’d help him study <33 like the good gf I am🥺
I also love volleyball!!! so i’d love to play wif my bubba
“mads! will you please play with me today? I promise i’ll go a lil easier on you today🥺” hOW CAN I SAY NO TO THAT BRUH I C A N T
and eventually he’d rope in ‘kaashi to play wif us and we’ll just like,,, alternate turns playing wif the man who never takes a rest 😆✋🏻
he would stay bragging to me 😭
“hey hey heyyyyy madeleine, ya know i’m still the number fourth best ace in japan 😏”
😭✋🏻 every chance he gets
akaashi always having to deal wif our SHIT
making him third wheel our dates 🥺🥺🥺🥺
honestly done wif us LMAO
double dates wif kuroo and kenma 😽
TEASINGGGGG
😒✋🏻 the treatment i have to deal wif
but sometimes i just get all depressed out of nowhere, and i feel like he’d be able to cheer me up so easily 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺💞
always looking after me, making sure i’ve eaten/stayed hydrated even when he hasn’t done those things himself
then i have to scold him 😒
f o o d
always sharing my lunch wif him cAUSE I DONT WANT HIM EATING ALL THAT UNHEALTHY STUFF
WE WOULD SOOOOO BE GYMNASTICS BUDDIES
gymnastics buddies gymnastics buddies gymnastics buddies gymnastics buddies gymnastics buddies gymnastics buddies
“MADS THAT WAS SO COOL!! TEACH ME HOW TO DO THAT!!!!!”
adorbs
always wif the PDA 🥺
he has to be touching me somehow
staying in bed all day and just watching anime <3
“ya know i can see why u have such a big crush on chrollo, he’s pretty cool. not as cool as the number one ace tho!” “bok, you’re the number fou-” “number one in your heart tho!!!!!”
i love my baby owl SO MUCH 😡😡😡😡😡
𝒏𝒇𝒔𝒘 ➴
𝐢 𝐧𝐬𝐟𝐰 𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩 𝐦𝐲𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐰 𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮 ✰
wOOH
omg this man is literally like ????? perfect for me💞
dom dom dom dom dom dom dom DOM
i such a little sub, but also a bratty sub; so he’d have his hands full <3
would always spit in my mouth; but i have to use my big girl words to ask for it first 🥺
he would love to humiliate me while i try so hard to take his big cock 🥺🥺🥺🥺
water sports? WATER SPORTS
i feel like he’d bring ushi in and i’d be THOROUGHLY fucked
tie me up tie me UP
brat tamer OH HES DEF A BRAT TAMER
fuck his cum back into me if it leaks out 🥺
i would love to keep going but i’m SO tired <33
so yeah those are my ships 🥺🥺
#self ship#haikyuu self ship#haikyuu self insert#haikyuu!!#haikyuu#hq bokuto#bokuto#bokuto kotaro#bokuto imagines#tendou#hq tendou#tendou imagine#thirst
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right so i just got done crying on and off for the first three hours of my day and i think i deserve a bit of unloading into the internet about it
dont mind me i just,,,dont have a support system anymore lol and i need some kind of fuckin release. feel free to ignore
so the last week in particular has been extremely rough and today I almost asked to go to the hospital in the hopes of like, idk. getting some sort of help. I have never been this depressed or hopeless before in my life and I’ve never had so much nothing as I do now. I lost all of my friends and my only support. I don’t have anything to look forward to. I look at my projects and my art and I can’t stand them because everything has memories attached to people who hate me and want nothing to do with me. People who have ignored me for five fucking weeks after telling me “We want to fix this.”
i’m hardly sleeping. im constantly exhausted. im physically nauseous because i cant eat from the stress and anxiety, granted i remember to eat at all or have the energy to get up to get anything in the first place. emotionally im an absolute wreck. I can’t focus. nothing is enjoyable. there’s nothing TO enjoy, because everything i had before was everything they took away. I’ve been left in the dust after they told me they still cared. so clearly that was a lie. if they cared they wouldnt have left at the drop of a hat like that
Even my family has noticed that i’m not okay and they’re starting to ask questions. i feel bad every time i brush them off but I cant let them know how bad things really are. i cant tell them that every hour i have to fight the urge to hurt myself again. that every time i have a second of free thought i think, hey, wouldn’t it be so satisfying to make yourself bleed again? and yes! it would be satisfying! but that’s not a pit i want to fall into again. it had me for years and it took even more years to break. and even though I have the awareness to not go through with it and can recognize it’s not actually going to help in the long run, it’s so exhausting when that’s my first go-to solution. And like yeah I usually have those thoughts anyway but I’ve had such a great system of friends and people I love who love me also that it was easier to get past. There were people there for me who cared and because I knew they cared I could get through the rough patches. But now I don’t have those people. I don’t have any support. There’s nobody who cares about me. So then my loneliness gets to me and i get even more depressed and anxious and I keep spiraling, and those thoughts get worse and harder to fight off. it was those thoughts of intense “lets hurt ourselves really badly :D” that made me want to go to the hospital. I literally had the thought of “If I go to the hospital and they say I’m not severe enough to be admitted, I’ll just grab a pen and stab my leg to prove to them I need help.” Which is neither good nor healthy, but it would be so easy
instead i ended up crying for three hours and started thinking the circumstances that lead me here
and like. i will admit, and i have admitted dozens of times, hundreds of times to myself, that I made a mistake. I know that. I told them that. That was the first fucking thing I said. all i can think about is that singular, one, individual, tiny little blunder. and how despite me acknowledging it and coming clean with it and trying to talk about it, it was blown up and out of proportion and thrown in my face. they took my misstep and every single one of them twisted it and manipulated it into something far from the truth, something that painted me as a terrible person, as a secret asshole, as a huge toxic influence, as a deceitful and unappreciative person. They all threw out everything about our friendship in favor of ignoring what I’d said and assuming something far from the truth, the truth I laid out for them no less.
and then when i asked if i could clarify and communicate, they told me no. then blamed me for not communicating!!
thats all i ever tried to do! was communicate
From day one the group said hey if there’s a problem, be open with it and we’ll talk about it. we communicate to solve problems because we’re all friends and cherish each other.
what a load of shit.
i tried to communicate. I laid out my problem and then everybody else got involved, said I wasn’t allowed to talk about that with them, then they called me back like some kind of court and judge and jury and told me because I didn’t communicate, I was being kicked out. That’s not fair. I wasn’t treated fairly. I wasn’t even allowed to clarify whatever the hell they thought. They straight up told me no, you can’t talk about this with us. That’s not communication. That’s hypocritically shutting me down.
“Communicate with us Jask!”
“Okay I will send communication”
“Op! You’re not allowed :) We agreed you can’t talk to us :) You’re being kicked out :) Oh But Don’t Feel Unwelcome We Want To Fix This.” Then they all fuckin. moved into a space without me in it. That’s not welcoming. That’s exclusionary. That’s not communicating either. I’ve been handed a double standard that I can’t do anything about because I’m not allowed to even say hello to these people
How does anyone expect things to get better if I’m not being given the chance I was promised? its been. five. weeks. I’m ? so fucking tired and sad and alone, waiting every fucking day in the hopes that someone is going to actually talk to me again. then I finally pass out in near tears at 3am because another day has passed with none of them caring enough to even ask if im okay
and like. i desperately want to talk to them. i dont know what id say but. i dont know. i dont know. im not allowed to, for one. they made that crystal fucking clear. but again what would i even say?
do i say im sorry? i apologized dozens of times and it never made a difference, they ignored my apologies from the start and im certain they ignored the ones at the end too. and im terrified of saying sorry to the only person who really matters in this situation because im certain she’s going to cut me off if i even breathe in her direction
do I say that i miss them? what’s that going to do? it feels manipulative to say that. like hey pity me into talking to me again? i cant do that. im sure none of them miss me anyway so why would i put myself on the spot like that
do i admit im afraid to talk to them? again that also feels, bad, because the last time i admitted a feeling it drove them all away in an instant. and like also that feels like im backing them into a corner where they have to respond. and i dont want to force that. so it feels like talking is making the same mistake that made them kick me out. and like. what if...talking really does make it worse? what if talking is what ruins it even though talking is what they told me they want?
again there’s the double standard. be honest and communicate, but if you’re honest and communicate you’re rejected outright and made into the bad guy.
at this point its been so long
and i’ve deteriorated so much
i dont know if like. i just. i dont know...if more deterioration, if more waiting, and more dashed hope is worth it ?
i dont even know if they still want to repair things. what if they dont? what if they never did? what if they lied? what if they sit in their little group and talk poorly about me? what if they made bets about how long it’ll take me to leave or unfriend them like my isolation was some sort of game? what if they think i hate them? what if they really DO hate me? what if they moved on and want to forget about me? what if they regret knowing me at all? what if they wish they never knew me? what if they’re happy without me? what if
oh boy i started crying again
what if this entire month of waiting and crying and wishing and grieving and hoping and loneliness was a waste of time? what if this was all for nothing? what if i never get to talk to them again? i. man. i just. i really really really miss everyone. i miss them so much. i miss them so fucking much. i dont know what to do. I m. fuck. im miserable. i wish i hadn’t said anything i wish i had kept my mouth shut i wish i never tried i wish i never did any of that i wish i had my friends i wish i could go back i wish i could talk to them
if i didnt say anything at least i’d be happy and id have everything and i would have my best friends in the whole world and id, fuck man thats really it, id be happy. im so fucking awul
im so. i. i cant see the scvreen i need to go wash up and stop
#hello void its me ya boi#back again with a new hit single#It's Not A Relapse If You Recovered Six Years Ago#by fall out boy#tw/cw for people who are curious about this ramble#tw self harm#cw self harm#tw intrusive thoughts#cw intrusive thoughts#but also general self loathing and crippling loneliness
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no bar!! never fret about replying late. i know what it’s like to not want to talk to anyone. honestly. i won’t call it (my experience) a depressive episode bc one of my friends used to brush off me when i was saying things like i’m depressed and say ‘sad’ instead. like if i were to say ‘that made me/i am depressed’ she’d say something like ‘oh god same! like if it’s making you sad,, don’t do it.’ which is a v poor example of what she did but i never called it depressed after that bc she pissed me off n was disregarding of my feelings (even though she’s incredibly anxious herself) bc i didn’t get it officially diagnosed. idk if you’ve ever read about birth control pills but i always read on tumblr people calling them literal depression pills and i ignored it, thinking either 1) people were being dramatic / were over-dramatising it or 2) it wouldn’t happen to me anyway. it fucking happened and they were not being dramatic. i was never happy n always working on minimal sleep n making self depreciating jokes all the time bc it was the only way i could cope with my thoughts n constant mood swings. so what i’m trying to say is,, i know how it feels. if that’s any consolation. it’s not me trying to be ‘oh me too!’ or ‘mine was worse than you’ it’s just me being understanding n telling you it’s okay. also lemme at your friends!! i’ll stomp them out n get the barman to run them over for you!! they’re so mean to forget you!! i find that deciding i want to do something specific n then asking the appropriate people if they want to do saïd thing/place works for me. it can be a simple ‘we should do this, when are you free?’ helps. making it known that you want to do things helps. or aggressively remind them that it’s nice to be asked bc it means they thought of you even if you couldn’t go n tried to include you. or we can revisit me stomping them out w my beloved barman,,, whatever works best for you my dear <3
admittedly me and one of the girls were discussing that we are going to miss our manager. even though literally everyone moaned about her (i feel like it’s impossible to avoid in literally any job/situation) she did have her moments and she did a lot for the staff like after work-drinks, asking the chefs if we could order off of the customer menu instead of the staff menu or whatever they cook in bulk for everyone to take home in the evening. apparently she did this a lot more than the previous manager. she has a good heart but sometimes she ignored some of the girls when we ask for days off or our availability for the week which was very annoying of her. it could’ve been a lot worse, i suppose, but overall she wasn’t terrible.
thé lady who lives in my town and drops me given the chance, told me the other night that she used to be the duty manager. i asked her why she stopped and she explained that when they furloughed everyone they asked her to come back on like half pay or something? idk i just remember it being explained as they wanted her to come back sooner and take away her furlough so she said no and got demoted. but somehow she still gets some of the furlough? idk i have been taught that asking how much or discussing specifics of paychecks kind of thing is rude, growing up. she has been telling me they keep asking her to come back (now they’re asking her to be a supervisor since she declined the manager role) and she keeps saying no. i love her and want the best for her so i won’t say anything to anyone about the conversations me and her have had (i mean, apart from maybe my mum if i can remember, and you bc, let’s be real, you don’t know me and idk you) and she says they’re just difficult to work with as a management team. she even said our area manager isn’t impressed with our current assistant manager (who is currently the only person on an houred contract since our manager left) which shocked me since i personally think he is quite good considering he has a good relationship with the staff and kitchen (he’s thai so he can communicate with the kitchen better than most of the wait staff (some wait staff are thai but mostly not)) i think she doesn’t want to be the eldest person in management or she doesn’t want the age gap to be so big since she has a kid she can lecture at home, she doesn’t need to be looking after people at work, y’know?
also today, me and one of the girls were upstairs (two floors of the restaurant!) and it’s nearing 11pm and her brother (who also works there) comes up and asks us when we’re finishing (mostly her lol) but we had two tables just sitting talking amongst themselves so she just said idk. he was saying he wanted to go bc he’s tired etc n he’s driving n she was like it’s fine go home i’ll call an uber or something n he was refusing to leave her behind. (i feel like i brushed over the two tables sitting there but it must be noted they’re the only tables left in the entire restaurant and we were the only two wait staff still there, apart from her brother but he changed and was waiting downstairs). anyway, she was sweeping (i was cleaning the booth/sofa thingy chairs as it was a mundane task we could do to pass time and while she was sweeping by one of the tables thé boyfriend was whispering to his girlfriend saying ‘should we go?’ and the girlfriend said ‘why should i care?’ and the girl came over to tell me v quietly and i got so upset for her. bc she is literally the sweetest person on the earth and the only reason i didn’t go to ask the manager to see if i could go home with the lady who offers to take me (ex-duty manager lady!) was so she wasn’t alone up there. if i had been the one sweeping near that table i would’ve snapped so fucking hard at them. i mean, we’re 18 and have lives and sleep schedules, and we’re working until 11pm on a thursday before we even get home?? like i wouldn’t have minded staying if they were reasonable tables but after the gf said that i was like ‘shall i go get our stuff from the staff room?’ so i could split as fast as possible. in the end the temporary acting manager came up and told us we could finish and she kicked the tables out ten minutes later. i told her what the table saïd and she thought that was mean and unnecessary too. i was also worried about my sleep tonight since i have my first vaccine tomorrow morning. that’s why i was more pressed about what time i left work today. oh well.
im sorry for talking so much about work! sometimes i don’t have someone to talk to about it (at home) bc of my weird hours and sometimes i don’t like re-explaining things to my mum if she doesn’t get it the first seven times. sometimes it’s just a little too draining as she doesn’t understand since she’s a lifer at her job. it’s easier to explain to my dad but then i get a whole lecture on something that i ultimately have no control over n id rather just bitch w the girls at work but the problem is WE’RE AT WORK!!!
also i booked for my first tattoo!! i’m excited. it’s for next week,, which was super quick considering i was expecting to have to wait soooo much longer. i’ve been telling people about it and that it’s happening but i haven’t had the pleasure of telling people exactly where i got the idea from. bar, my dear, you know wheein’s new album, redd? well, it comes with loads of things, including these stickers (one for each song) and the one from springtime was just so perfect and when i saw it my first thought was, this would be a perfect tattoo. and so i am having it tattooed on my body. a subtle nod to kpop whilst also having something meaningful on my body. i also have just decided i want a small, minimalistic (or one-line art) rose on my sternum, kind of in the valley of my breasts, bc my nan was a rose. i like having her close to me. i recently got her necklace fixed which has left me feeling so incomplete after it broke in august last year. it’s been almost ten years and i think i’m long overdue something to remind me of her. i fiddle with my necklace when i’m nervous which is why i love it so much but incase it breaks again (i pray it doesn’t but i have a long life ahead of me) i would like her close still.
gosh there’s never enough space in my head to remember what i want to tell you so i’ll stop here for now since i should sleep to be able to wake up in time for my first jab. i’m scared but it’s whatever i’ll do it i suppose,, eeek 😨
ilyl ~ 🌻
thank you so much for opening up to me about this, it means a lot to me :( i am so sorry you had to go through this and honestly,, i really resonate with you. i feel like when i talk about my emotions and my sadness (dont know if its okay to call it depression either but yea), my friend either always either makes me feel like my emotions arent valid or she tells me she doesnt know how to help, which is frankly, why i dont talk about my emotions to people irl anymore. i dont open up and it takes me a long long time to do so if i ever do, because i tend to feel insecure/not safe :D so really, thank you for telling me and i hope you are doing better. your emotions are valid and i am always here for you
HAHAHA i mean i dont have many friends so theres not many to stomp on:( but i mean,, i get passive aggressive when i feel forgotten/left out so you best believe i told my friend how im feeling, but like uhhh it didnt do much. i spent the whole weekend at work and i was free on friday but my friend decided to ditch me and yeah. i havent been out in like two weeks now and i mean i am an introvert so i dont mind that much but even i want to socialise sometimes
aah i mean every manager has their flaws, no one’s perfect. my manager keeps calling me to go to work even though i was literally there for 11 hours on saturday AND sunday which means i worked for 20 hours in two days. and i work 20 hours a week at max. and i already worked some hours before the weekend so i think i have like 30 hours now and she keeps calling??? dude i need a break too,,i am so exhausted and tired of this shit :dd
oh i totally get what the lady that drops you off sometimes told you. i would feel a little iffy if i heard it too, but like,,,judge by your own experiences!! if you feel like something is off, you can always leave,, so i wouldn’t be so stressed about it.
why are people so rude ??? dude,,you should care, because we are all human. everyone has their needs and their lives and i bet he wouldnt like it if he was the one in your place. why should you stay there longer just because he didnt want to leave?? that was so unnecessary. people are weird beings and i learnt that after working with them this weekend,,,like i litereally got screamed at because i couldnt accept cash in different currency. like,,what tf do you want me to do?? i dont have every single currency with me so i could give u the change ?? tf ??
ALSO ITS OKAY TALK ABOUT YOUR WORK HOWEVER MUCH YOU WANT !!!! i also feel like i dont have anyone to talk to about work bc my parents dont listen to me as much as they used to these days and my friend unsurprisingly just doesnt care bc she doesnt work,, and i dont wanna talk to my internet friends abt it as much bc i feel annoying so i am glad us two can talk about these things together !!!!
YOUR FIRST TATTOOOO WHOAAAH thats so cool. i love tattoos hihi dfkja idk if u already had the appointment but tell me how it went after !! i wasnt able to find the sticker on the internet but im sure it looks hella pretty. also i love how it reminds you both of kpop and your grandma, its wonderful <3 i really want to get a tattoo one day,, and i also want something meaningful (not that i am hating on people that tattoo themselves just for fun and have no meaning behind their tattoos i just have commitment issues so i want something long lasting). alSO my crush (yes i have a crush now ew) has a tattoo and it looks like satan lowkey,,but apparently its a japanese something (i forgot the word oopsies) and it means jealousy, bad past and wisdom ?? i was like BOY IF U DONT??? fjdkla he has blue hair btw i am very much whipped but he also doesnt know me and i am older than him so this is embarrassing
ALSO I HOPE YOURE FEELING WELL AFTER GETTING THE VACCINE !!!
ily <333
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hello its me
hmm idk why i wanna write something here tho yknow i think tumblr d worded to my same gen tumblr moots ...
anyway
maybe one day when i die, my friends & family will find my blog and just /know/ you know but lmao theyre probably just gonna find my yn fics hahaha
anywayyyy back to the real reason why i wanna write here...
i find it scary im having these kind of thoughts lately i dont know if its because of my job? (maybee? its actually the only reason i see rn?) bc honestly... im doing fine in all other things..
friends? theyre okay.. we talk and meet up if this lockdown permits (yup 2021 and still in lockdown)
family? we're good as well.. im happy theyre healthy and well (hope it continues like that for a long time)
me? well.... i guess the problem starts there lol idk i keep having these thoughts bout wanting not to wake up from sleep yk lmao and it actually stems from not wanting to go to work with the role that i currently have ....
maybe im being ungrateful rn but i really feel like its not healthy for me to be in this role.. its too pressuring, gives me anxiety.. and i know im only a month in but do you really have to be in a situation longer for you to say that its toxic for you? toxic for your mental health?
honeslty idk i feel kinda bad that im prioritizing my mental health over earning like putting myself first is something so bad lol i feel so guilty about feeling this way
and i feel that im unfair bc my family is working so hard in different countries, working their asses off, literally one have to caught the virus (theyre ok now tho) but still work
and im here,,, being a fucking baby,, whining about how THIS is the worst situation that i am in lmao
but they just dont get it,,, maybe i was mentally unstable right before all this happened (my job) and now its triggering these thoughts out of me and seriously i have never wanted to feel this way, i swear.. i didnt want to feel so broken,, so weak,,, i dont want to constantly ask for help,,, show signs that im emotionally & mentally drowning,,,, its just so hard to be living this way..
i didnt even realize that I'll go to such extent of wishing i dont wake up from my sleep
but at the same time, im fucking terrified this "life" will last longer you know?
you know how in books/universe beliefs that what you want to happen will be jinxed if you keep thinking about it lmao
im so so terrified about it like,, what if i really wanna die but end up living 100 more years lol
like bitch i dont wanna live so long if im this unhappy.. i dont want this life if im just constantly insecure about everything, how im literally fucking depressed and unhealthy..
and im so fucking sick hearing about "you can change this for yourself" "live life/change your life for you" "youre the driver of this life" bullshit like BRO DO YOU THINK I DONT KNOW THAT
Like ok man i KNOW i can change my life but at this fucking moment???? i cant???? and its difficult to just wake up one day and feel inspired and be full of energy in a mental state like this???
yall r so fucking stupid if you also think depression is being so skinny, eating less, looking stressed and fuck bc depression is also the opposite.. like honestly?? i dont fucking look depressed but look at me now tho?? haha
im overweight, i dont look sleep deprived, i still eat, and i still sleep.. im here but sometimes im not here you know?
whats worse is that depression here is being so downplayed like its just "drama"& not a real fucking disease,, i have relatives who would think - they've been thru worse and that YOU feeling sad and depressed for them is just whines and worthless drama and that youre just overreacting like you dont have a fucking right to feel that way just because theyve been thru "worst" lmao ok bitch do you want a fucking "not depressed" award
well fuck im sorry my generation have to deal with your fucking trauma bc you let it out on us just because we're younger and you dont have any idea that the shit youre putting us thru is actually YOUR trauma???? like fuck
sigh
im just so tired of this unhappiness.. i miss my old self,, the better me,,, i miss my passions,, the things that make me happy,,, bc right now, i can only do so much and still feel this way..
i can paint and sing all day but it wont bring me back the same energy, the same joy it brought to me before - and i miss that...
why do i have to be this way? i just wanna be happy..
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“GET TO KNOW ME” TAG GAME
rules: answer the questions and tag people you’d like to get to know better!
Tagged by: @djnicklesanddimes
What do you prefer to be called name-wise?
Charlie or Char is fine~
When is your birthday?
February 26th, I’m a Pisces for sure.
Where do you live?
Upstate NY, 6 minutes from Ontario, in the woods.
Three things you are doing right now:
Listening to music. (Always listening to music. I fall out of bed with headphones on.)
Rping Transformers with my gf.
Trying to figure out future plans for my forestry job for Spring, watching trail making videos and brushing up on my plans so I don’t feel so overwhelmed like I got last year.
Four fandoms that have piqued your interest?
Mystery Skulls, FNAF, BatIM, getting back into Venom as well
How has the pandemic been treating you?
Eh. I work at home and my side jobs were either substituting at the schools around here or the little forestry gig I got going on as I carve trails in the woods out back. (28 acres that back up to about 100!) I expected my business to falter in the spring-summer, when COVID became more widespread. It did not, and I’m very grateful. My best business was in October, Ive also taken the time to work on me more, as I think everyone has. Since August 2019 I’ve lost 70 pounds, so im very proud of my progress in that sense. I’m not very social, and now I’m not social at all, and it’s starting to get to even me.
A song you can’t stop listening to right now:
Ahh, shit. Songs are like potato chips for me, I can’t pick just one! Have three ;)
Jason by the Midnight (SO FUCKING CATCHY.)
Spirits in a Material World by the Police
Handsome Devil the Smiths
How old are you?
27
School, University, occupation other?
Freelance llustrator, works weekends/sunny days in forestry. It’s hard work but fun! my main job is so creative all the time my brain gets exhausted and hard labor lets me burn steam!
Do you prefer heat or cold?
Lately I’ve been preferring heat due to weightloss. It’s nice not being sweaty all the time! But I also don’t mind being chilly, I can always bundle up in a hoodie.
Name one fact that others may not know about you.
My grandpa was a magician, and he taught me a lot of his tricks over the years. He liked sleight of hand with cards/items/prediction, I am def rusty with items/stage magic, but it’s hard to not let old instincts kick in when someone asks you to cut a deck >>; Another fun one is changing a dice score by making your second die hit the first.
Are you shy?
Eh, nah. I’m more standoffish. People mistake my silence for shyness but over the years shyness has curdled into honest to god disinterest and difference. I am so tired/depressed and I just...don’t care anymore what people think of me. I’m also told I can come off as intimidating.
Pronouns?
She/her
Biggest pet peeve?
Hypocritical actions and narrowed mindsets.
What is your favorite “dere” type?
Lord I don’t even remember them anymore. What’s the cute one? Deredere…? That one. I guess. Idk.
Rate your life from 1-10, 1 being crappy and 10 being the best it could be.
Hums. I live with my parents still, basically in an apartment above them. but I pay for everything I can, I have my truck Kenny, and a job that does pay just not frequently enough. I would love to live on my own but that…definitely hasn’t been the year for THAT. But im also focusing on bettering myself, while trying not to see my life being over at 30, even though I feels like it. I guess…5/10? I’m very fortunate and need to remember that everyone's experiences are different. Hard to chart all that out.
What’s your main blog?
This one!
List your side blogs and what they’re used for.
Charlieslowartises: art! Also my most popular/most active blog :D
And-she-was-trying: weightloss blog
I have a few older ones that still around but inactive.
Is there something people need to know about you before becoming friends?
Ive had a few people try strike up friendships for...less than good reasons. Some want free art from me, some want a free therapist, and one person used to compliment me+my art skills by saying my art wanted them to commit suicide due to my level. Please do not ever do this. Our friendship, if there is any to be found, will be obtained naturally. Through mutual appreciation and respect. I am not a very friendly or warm person to begin with. I will be less so if I sense your intentions are anything less than simple companionship.
That being said, for every person that I have had to turn away or ignore, I have twice as many friends on here that I am perfectly content with and love to talk to! Or, if you are a client and I accept your jobs without fail, rest assured you are a friend as well <3
I’ll tag whoever wants to do this, too tired to grab names lol.
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15x09 Commentary PART 1
Bunch of tired and caffeinated Europeans ( plus a sleepy American) scream together, and then die and try to get on with their day ( lol AS IF)
@smol-and-grumpy (Nat)
@dean-winchesters-bacon (Kat)
@waywardbaby (Zee)
@ain-t-bovvered (Giulia)
Nat : alright you all set?
Giulia: One moment. I gotta pee
Nat : ugh
Zee: Jesus Giuls
Nat : pee through your eyes
Zee: Soon
Giulia: K im set
Nat : alright
Nat : go
Giulia: Oooh are we getting jack again
Nat : Why do we have to watch it again
Zee: Because
Zee: Let’s go to purgatory
Nat : 12 hOuRs
Giulia: Hate this
Zee : Oh here we go
Nat : He could have put the thingy tighter around Sam
Nat : hElPiNG
Giulia: COME ON
Zee : Come the fuck on
Giulia: damn it
Zee : Good guy
Giulia: ASSHOLE
Zee : Yes Eileen
Nat : BeCauSE YoUR sUCh a GoOd GuY
Giulia: WEAK
Giulia: yuck
Giulia: STOP
Zee : No
Nat : Shut up
Zee : I do t wanna
Nat : my god
Nat : oh
Giulia: snort
Zee : The eyebrow is up there
Giulia: Definitely in trouble
Nat : Can he stop his face
Giulia: Also did u catch misha fumbling with the shellcase lol
Nat : I was distracted
Giulia: DON T TOUCH MY BOY
Nat : "It might get messy"
Nat : hah
Giulia: god knows everything
Giulia: U dick
Giulia: Bye dean
Nat : That happens when they can't swear
Zee : The music isn’t good
Nat : Because Dean would obviously say "dick" of course
Giulia: Chuck you fuck
Nat : you sick fuck
D: Whatever. We need to go.
C: To Purgatory.
D: Chuck has Sam. I'm not leaving him.
C: Chuck's not gonna kill him. That's not the ending.
Giulia: That’s not the ending
Nat : How do you know CAS
D: Wh... Then he'll torture him.
C: Dean, will you stop?
Giulia: Being so stupid
Zee : Tell him cas
Giulia: Snort, ok cas
C: If we attack Chuck now, we don't have anything that can hurt him. We get that Leviathan blossom, complete Michael's spell, build the Cage. That's our chance.
Giulia: Oh cas
Giulia: My bb
Giulia: Taking charge
Giulia: Delicious
Zee : He can’t do it
Giulia: AH he afraid
Nat : WEAK
S: But when it's time to get your hands dirty, you can't do it. You just like to watch.
Nat : W
Nat : E
Nat : A
Nat : K
Zee : Sam’s sass gives me life
Giulia: PATHETIC
Zee : Pathetic
Giulia: OF COURSE
Nat : UGH NO
Giulia: WHAT AN ASSHOLE
Zee : No
Nat : CHUCK YOU SICK FUCK
Giulia: FUCK U
Nat : I said it for Dean
Giulia: WOW
Zee : Ouch
Nat : OW
Giulia: BABIES
Giulia: HOW ARE THEY SO CALM
Nat : That's some fucking kink he has going on there
Giulia: BENNY
Zee: I want Benny
Nat : Aw Benny
Giulia: WhAT
Nat : Fond memories
D: Okay. Let's split up.
C: What?
D: You go that way. I'll go this way. We'll meet back at the Rift, alright? We'll cover more ground. We'll better our odds.
C: Yeah. We'll also improve our odds of getting lost or killed. Come on.
Giulia: Wow cas does not have time for dean today lol
Zee : Cass is telling dean what to do and he’s listening
Nat : CAS HAS NO FUCKING PATIENCE LEFT WHATSOEVER
Zee : Wow
Nat : I'm here for it
Giulia: LOOK AT THAT SICK ASSHOLE FUCK
Giulia: YES
Giulia: STOP
Nat : Fuck Ew Ow
Giulia: SAM SHUT UP
Nat : Sam's right
Giulia: oh wow they gave him that line
Zee : I wanna go
Giulia: Because you are a sick fuck
Nat : I'm actually not really watching
Giulia: Cute
Zee: Yuk
Nat : Aren't we glad that we don't have to endure commercial breaks
Giulia: LOL WHAT cass
Nat : That's a different corpse. lol
Zee: Hello
Nat : Who is that
Nat : Ah
Giulia: IT’S SUDDENLY VERY WARM HERE OK
Zee : As simple as that
Nat : lol
Giulia: snort
Nat : Embarrassing
Nat : lol
Zee : Fuck
Giulia: Oh wow
Nat : I can't meet them in May
Giulia: ALREADY HATE THIS
Nat : I can't take it
Giulia: same
Zee : Shut up both of you
Zee : Awe dean
Giulia: how is this monster so calm
Nat : Everybody has heard of Benny
Giulia: NO SHUT UP
Nat : NO
Nat : FUCK YOU
Nat : NOOOOOOOOO
Giulia: HE LIES
Giulia: I DON T TRUST HIM
Nat : I HOPE
Nat : I MEAN WOULD YOU TRUST A LEVIATHAN
Giulia: I DON T WANNA LISTEN TO GOD
Giulia: Oh no
Nat : Oh no
Zee: April 17
Giulia: Don t wanna see that
Nat : 17. april
Giulia: Lol florida man
Giulia: SNORT
Giulia: Me
Nat : Dean lol
Giulia: CASS BB
Zee: Resting my eyes
Nat : CAS
Giulia: JODY
Nat : Cas is still annoyed af
Zee : No
Nat : NO
Giulia: SHUT
Giulia: UP
Zee : NO
Giulia: DON T
Zee: Claire
Nat : THERE IS NO WINNER
Nat : Apparently
Giulia: I SWEAR UGH NO
Nat : It never stops even if they would win
Giulia: AW
Zee: Cass is looking good
D: And he sacrificed himself to get Sam out of this place.
C: Well, this place will bring that out in you. Guilt. It was my fault the Leviathan got out. It was my fault we were here the first time. I carry that guilt every day.
Giulia: CAS BABE SHUT UP
D: I know you're sorry, Cass. About Bel, about Mom.
Giulia: omg Cas is so done with everything. Love it.
C: I was talking about Jack. I already apologized to you.
Giulia: SNORT
Giulia: AH
Giulia: AH AH
Zee : Bitterness
Giulia: YIKES
C: You didn't give me a choice. You couldn't forgive me. And you couldn't move on. You were too angry. I left, but you didn't stop me.
Giulia: * is ded on the floor*
Zee : You didn’t stop me
Nat : 6.01.2021
Nat : Uh
Giulia: Uuuuh
Giulia: Amazing
S: Now, if Cass was still here, he could've healed them.
D: Yeah, well, he's not.
Nat : Cas is not there
Giulia: Yuck
Zee : The monsters are winning
Giulia: Nice legs
Giulia: I was distracted
RANDOM LEV: Killing her alphas, swallowing her Leviathan.Bringing you to her should earn us a nice reward.
Giulia: GREAT
Nat : Fuck you
Giulia: I HATE THIS
Giulia: NO
Nat : BB
Giulia: oh no the flowers
Nat : What happened
Giulia: WHRE IS CASSS
Giulia: JDBDOALSBDISGCDKAL
Nat : 3.11.2021
Giulia: SAM IS SPIRILING
Nat : They are still hunting
Giulia: DEAN IS DEPRESSED
Nat : Sam is still hunting
Nat : restless
D: What I've been trying to say for months.
Zee: Stand down
Nat : He's tired alright
Giulia gets an email from the Hilton hotel about the room reservation she was waiting VeRy CalMLy
Giulia: NO HILTON HOTEL SHUT UP
Zee: My stomach hurts
Giulia: WHAT
Nat : WHAT
D: Ever since the Mark made Cass go crazy?
Giulia: WHAT
Giulia: WHATT
Nat : WHAT
Nat : WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON
D: Bobby has a death wish, and you know it. And Jody... ever since
what happened to Donna and the girls, she does, too.
Giulia: WHAT HAPPENED TO MY GURL
Nat : DONNA?
D:And after Eileen... so do you.
Nat : EILEEN
Giulia: STOP THIS SHIT
Nat : EVERYONE IS GONE
Giulia: NO
Zee: I’m leaving
Giulia: I WANNA GET UP AND FUCK OFF
Nat : Who's actually Butch and who's Sundance?
Nat : Even if they win they lose
Nat : WHAT THE FUCK
Nat : I DON'T WANNA WATCH
Giulia: HATE THIIIIIIS
S: Dean, what happened to going out swinging?
D: We lost, brother. We lost. I'm done.
Nat : ALRIGHT GOODBYE GUYS
Giulia: IM LEAVING
G: I'm just the messenger, Sam.
Giulia: NO ONE BELIEVE YOU SICK FUCK
S: No, the Dean I know... the Dean who raised me...he'd never give up, no matter how bad things got.
Giulia: THE DEAN WHO RAISED ME
Giulia: SOB
Giulia: SOOOOB
Nat : What does that say about them that I wanna quit the espisode when I'm halfway in and I don't even care what comes after
Giulia: NO I STILL CARE ABOUT CASS
Giulia: AND IM AFRAID
Nat : I DON'T WANNA WATCH
Giulia: dean still looking for cas jn purgatory
Giulia: I DON T WANNA
Nat : Will Dean leave Cas behind?
Giulia: STOP
Zee: I’m crying
Nat : SHUT THE FUCK UP DEAN
Nat : I DON'T WANT THIS
Giulia: STOP MY HEART
Nat : FUCK YOU
Giulia: AAAAAAH
Nat : I HAVE SOMETHING IN MY EYES
Giulia: MY HEART
Giulia: SOB
Nat : THAT'S PROBABLY PEE
Zee: It’s called tears Nat
Giulia: IM HAVING A HEART ATTACK
Giulia: NO
Giulia: STOP THAT FYCKI MY SHIT GSLAVDHAKDHEJWBE
Nat : I'M FUCKING SOBBING AND THAT'S NOT OK
Giulia: DEEEEAN
Zee: He’s broken
Nat : SHIT I WANNA HOLD HIM
Giulia: IT S TOO EARLY FOR THIS, IT’S 8:32 AM
Giulia: IM BROKEN
Nat : I don't know why I get so angry
Nat : AW BABY
Giulia: IM SO ANGRY
Nat : COME HERE
Giulia: STO l Dnbdsno NO
Nat : I DEFINITELY CAN'T SEE THEM IN MAY
Giulia: BABE
Zee: SAY I LOVE YOU ALREADY
Nat : FUCK THIS SHIT
Giulia: FUCK
Nat : flips a fucking table
Giulia: FLIPS MY WHOLE HOUSE
Nat : OKay
END OF PART 1 because it was so fucking heavy and I don’t want your computer to blow up
.
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PART 2
If you want to get tagged send an ask HERE or to @waywardbaby or a smoke signal, idk whatever I’m tired af.
TAGS: @wayward-angelgirl @destiel-honeypie @mariekoukie6661 @dragontamerm @closetspngirl @rainflowermoon @mattiecat @bunnybaby121115 @aliaitee2 @jacks-word-of-the-day @4evamc @dammitsammy @legendary-destiel @winchesterprincessbride @destielhoneybee @castiellover20 @ravenhg @evvvissticante @emoryhemsworth @markofdean79
#supernatural 15x09#15x09 commentary#Episode commentary#spn commentary#dean winchester#Sam Winchester#castiel
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It's been a while, have a quick drabble. This may be bad, but I just need to write it out.
Warnings: Panic Attack, slow suffocation, graphic /?/, crushing, fake death, and a depressing situation.
Characters: Rain Ghoul, Swiss Ghoul, Dewdrop Ghoul, Mountain Ghoul, and Aether Ghoul.
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Everything seemed to be crashing down. The world ceased to spin, and the Earth was shaking. The four walls of the room, slowly creeping closer every second. Rain couldn't breathe, spinning around frantically as he looked for an exit. The room had no windows, no door, no vent. Rain didn't know how he ended up in the room, or how this began. All he knew what he needed to escape before the walls crushed him. Rain took in his surroundings. A desk and chair, a bed, a bookshelf, plants hung from the ceiling, a lamp, and a chest at the end of the bed.
Rain went straight for the chest, lifting the latch and opening the top, only seeing shoes and a few stuffed animals strewn around. He digged through the box, finding nothing. A sharp ringing ran through Rain's ears, causing the poor bassist to cover his ears and cry out. His head was echoing, throbbing and pulsating against his skull. Rain could feel tears fall down his face, whimpering softly. The ringing and throbbing eased down to a manageable level, giving Rain the opportunity to run to the desk, opening the drawers to find it empty. Nothing on top of the desk either.
The walls were closer now, and the shaking was worse. Rain could barely stand up, but he stood his ground by digging his talons into the floor board. The Water Ghoul walked to the bookshelf, throwing books off with haste as he tried to find something, anything to get Rain out. Rain gasped as his lungs burned, feeling like he wasn't getting enough air. He took deep breathes, still feeling suffocated. Opening his gills, Rain continued searching. The only thing left was the bed.
Walls too close for comfort, Rain cried out when the desk and bookshelf began to move with it. Showing his impending doom better than before. Rain ran to the bed, falling down as the shaking became worse. He picked himself up and crawled to the bed, yelping as a book hit his head. Rain peaked under the bed, finding nothing but dust. Crawling up the bed, Rain looked through pillow cases, and under the blankets. Even lifting the mattress. Nothing. The bassist sat on the bed, full of hopelessness as he watched the walls become closer and closer. That's when Rain seen them.
"D-Dewdrop! Aether! Guys I-I don't know what's happening!" He cried out, going to jump off the bed to reach to them. "Once again, you don't know anything." The voice of Swiss said, causing Rain to stop in his tracks. "W-...What?" "You don't know shit, Rain. You can't stop fucking up, you don't know when to shut up or how to shut up, and you don't know how annoying you are. Should I keep going?" Dewdrop hissed. Rain's ears lowered, more tears filling his eyes, breathing getting rough again. "I-Im sorry.. I didn't-" "I'm sorry this, I'm sorry that, woe is me. Why don't you take responsibility that you're useless to yourself and all of us?" Rain turned his head to Mountain, streaks of water falling down his cheeks as he listened to their words.
"You can't play anything right." "Never know how to stay out of other people's business." "You're a shame to all of us." "Wish you never existed!" They all screamed at him, but Rain screamed for them to move as the bookshelf fell above them, crushing Swiss and Aether. Mountains leg was trapped beneath the case, screaming in pain. Rain looked with horror in his eyes, breathing short and gasping. "And because of you.." Rain looked at the lead guitarist, "We're going to die." As if on cue, the walls crushed Dewdrop and the three beneath the case. Rain couldn't breathe, couldn't react but scream. Screaming his apologies, screaming for it all to stop. Then the bed began to break, but Rain couldn't hear it, the ringing growing louder and louder. The he felt his bones break.
"Rain? Fucking, Rain! Snap out of it!"
The bassist screamed and thrashed, trying to escape the tight feeling around his arms. "Rain! Shh, hey, hey. Stop, Rain look. Look it's me, it's Swiss." The voice said, a hand cupping Rain's tear stained and hot cheek. Slowly through his sobs and shaking body, Rain cautiously opened his eyes, fearing to see his dead friends. Instead, there's stood a worried Swiss in front of him, holding him close. The Ghoul looked around frantically, seeing the rest of his band mates with all concerned looks. He was in his room.. there was a door.. and two windows.. Rain was okay.
The walls were still, no shaking, and he felt the Earth continuing to move. "Rain..?" Swiss gently asked, falling off his heels as Rain pushed himself onto the singing Ghoul, sobbing his eyes out into his chest. "I'm so sorry! Please!- I didn't!- I'm so sorry!" He cried, Swiss' hand slowly going up and down the youngers back. Slowly, the other Ghouls sat around Rain, petting his head and back through his tears. As the youngest of the bunch slowly calmed down to weak whimpers and few tears, he began explaining what happened. Aether ran his hand through his hair, staying silent as he let the Water Ghoul finish.
They all whined or rubbed against Rain, Aether being the first to speak, "Roo.. we don't think that at all, and look! We're alive, aren't we? And so are you.. we're here, and we're not going anywhere, I promise." Aether said, leaning down and kissing Rain's forehead, sweat covering it. "Do you wanna eat something? You look pale.." Dewdrop mumbled, tail tapping against the floor as he waited for an answer. Rain slowly nodded, whining as he was lifted from Swiss to being in a bridal style carry by Mountain. The tall drummer brought Rain up and kissed his cheek, lowering him for Dewdrop and Aether to get their own kisses in. "I'll make grilled cheese, how's that sound?" Aether asked as they all slowly made their way out. "Can we have soup with it..?" Rain quietly requested, a small smile growing on his tired face as Aether replied "'Course we can!"
Rain was okay. He was okay. His family was okay. It's all okay.
#ghost the band#ghost band#ghost#the band ghost#band ghost#ghost bc#rain ghoul#aether ghoul#dewdrop ghoul#Swiss Ghoul#Swiss army Ghoul#mountain ghoul#tw: panic attack#tw: suffocation#tw: crushing#tw: fake death#tw: graphic#? just in case#🖊️ speaks#ghostnsfw
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Depressing December
( Jse egos )
(By: Michaela Boyd)
It's getting to around that time of the year when it’s christmas and everything just seems tough at times and all you want to do is scream in your pillow.(me XD) In the Septiceye house (egos House) Chase brody is being dealt with a lot of drama in his days and with christmas coming that isn't helping at all for him. Also With stacy keeping the kids from a Cringemas party that’s going on and for like all the time from chase seeing them, what will happen in this drama-comedy story along the way? It turns out it’s going to be a Depressing December…. (warning this story contains viloince and suicide, and some swearing also. And maybe some smut involved. You've been warned. Have fun!
The Outcast
“Marvin?” Chase saw Marvin was on his hands and knees looking under a table like he was looking for something. He was whispering something and cursing “where is the damn thing!” He rose up quickley and bumped his head on the table “ow, fuck!” Marvin hissed as he got up and rubbed his head. “Marvin…. can i ask you something?” Chase repeated. “Oh it's you chase what do you want?” he said annoyed still rubbing the bruise. “Well i was ju-” “Oh and if you wanna know what i was doing ,I'm trying to find my wand- hey i bet Anti has it he's probably playing with it like a knife- i'm gonna kill him!” Marvin said ignoring Chases question. Marvin noticed Chase wasn't too happy he had a frown on his face and almost tears in his eyes. Marvin stood up and put his hand on Chases shoulder. “Hey are you ok?” Being more calm this time. “I just got off the phone with Stacy and-” He was just interrupted by a crackling laughing noise by Anti. “HAHAHHAA!” Marvin looked up and gritted his teeth “ANTI! THERE YOU ARE YOU BASTARD!” Marvin yelled and walked over to Anti which was still laughing and also Darkiplier was there strangely. “Oh look the kitty wants to play hahaha!” Anti glitched and sneered. Dark and Anti both laughed. “Hisss!” Marvin spat like a cat “You better start running you fucking jackasses!” He took anti by his black t-shirt and looked in his green glowing eyes “where's my wand! I know you took it and dont try to play stupid either!!” he said very angry. “HA! I didn't touch that worthless shit! Then darkiplier yelled out “Hey kitty cat!” Marvin took loose of Antis shirt and his eyes got wide. he saw Dark call his dog, DarkChica, and she came running to darkipliers side. “Grrrrr!!” she snapped at Marvin and barked. “ROOF ROOF ROOF GRRR!!!” “GIT THAT THING AWAY FROM ME!” Marvin tripped and fell. Chase came to help him up, as dark and anti laughed again “don't worry she dont bite hahaha! Anti glitched. “Ugh why is one of the “ipliers” here? Chase looked at Dark with a disgusted look. That was to mean that the ipliers are Markiplier's egos. Anti looked over to Chase ignoring the comment he made to his friend Dark, “oh hello Chase- came to help your friend. Oh and how are those kids of yours doing?? he smiled showing sharp teeth, making a smart comment back. “U-um that's known of your concern.” chase looked to the ground then for some reason he had a sense of courage come in him, he knew Anti wouldn't let him feel bad this time. , “you know- a-anti i think you should just shut the fuck up! Give Marvins wand back now!” he yelled “oh sorry pretty boy didn't mean to hurt your little feelings hahaha!!” Anti and dark both laughed again. Marvin stepped in front of Chase as if to protect him from Anti. “LEAVE HIM ALONE!” “or what?” Dark said with his eyebrow raised. Chase pushed through marvin. “Or we’ll call Henrik!” anti and dark laughed again Anti almost choking, “THAT BITCH DOCTOR CAN'T DO ANYTHING!!!” Anti screeched. “HE'S WEAK!!” Anti twitched. Chase tried to say something but something was holding him back he was almost scared of Anti a little and didn't know why Marvin wasn't really even helping anyway. Marvin then shoved chase “Stay out of this Chase!!” he looked at him with a mad look “don't make this already worse than it already is!” he almost looked like he didn't care if anti did anything he just wanted his wand back. “B-but Mar-” “GIVE ME MY WOND YOU FUCKIN IDIOTS! Marvin was yelling in Anti and darks faces cursing. “NOT TILL YOU GIVE ME MY KNIFE BACK YOU HAD TO OF TAKEN IT!!!!!” Anti glitched. “I DID NOT!” they fought back and forth. Chase didn't know why Marvin didn't want to help him.. He felt like an outcast in this fight, as if he was a child and had to shut his mouth. I'm tired of Marvin he doesn't even care about how I feel... “ Chase thought. I miss Henrik.. He hasn't come back yet.. I wish he was here he would know what to say ...”
Chase was lost in thought as he saw Anti push Marvin as if he was trying to knock him on the ground. At that point Marvin was hissing and Anti was up in his face, this didn't look good. “GIVE ME MY KNIFE BACK OR I'LL TEAR YOUR THROAT OUT!!!! Anti growled spitting in Marvin face. “I SAID I DIDN'T TAKE IT ARE YOU DEAF!!!!!!” Marvin yelled louder “YOU FUCKIN LIER!!!” Anti yelled back with a high pitched voice cracking. Chase was covering his ears as now darkiplier even started to join in they were all yelling in eachothers faces all because of a fuckin wand and a knife! Chase seemed to become very angry and wanted to yell for them all to shut up but something stopped him-
“SHUT THE FUCK UP ALL OF YOU!!!!!!!” everyone looked up to see Henrik yelling at the top of his lungs, Chase was shocked to see him back.Mostly relieved. Everyone's eyes widened. “What's going on!” Henrick looked at all of them. “U-um… “ Chase looked at him trying to tell him what happen when marvin pushed him and pointed to anti. “This bitch wont give me my wand back! He said. Anti grumbled and screeched “he wont give me my knife back!” Henrik looked at both of them with his arms crossed and he looked pissed. “Both of you give each others stuff back.. NOW! He said. Anti looked at Marvin smiling. “UGH!” Marvin growled, he pulled the knife out of his pocket in his cape. And held it up, with a disgusted face. “well ,well well. Hahaha.” Anti giggled he snached the knife out his hand. “Now give him his wand back” Henrik looked at him with a look. “What if I don't want to … doctor..?” he smiled. “NOW!” Henrik yelled as if anti was a child. “Fine” anti moaned. He took it out of his back pants pocket. “here … bitch” he cursed under his breath as he was going to hand it to him. Marvin went to get it from his hands when anti snatched it away as if he wouldn't let him have it. “Anti!” Henrik yelled. Then Marvin said “give me it you fuckin brat!” he was trying to get it from antis hands when anti threw it at Marvin. “Here i didnt need it anyway. He cracked his neck and looked at dark and back at his knife. “At Least I have my precious knife back” he smiled. Marvin rolled his eyes as chase picked the wand up that anti threw and handed it to him. Marvin snatched it from him and put it in his pocket. “Im sorry Henrik…” He looked up at him. “No.. don't be sorry! He said quickly, “these imbosolts should say sorry! “Now go to your room Chase” he said still angry.. Chase almost said no, but did as he was told and went. He felt as if even henrik was upset with him. He wiped his eyes and slammed the door. “Okay.. as for you Dark, you shouldn't even be here!” “I was leaving anyway..” he gave him a death stare and looked back at Anti and took chica and went. “Both of you go to your rooms i don't wanna see you for the rest of the night!” They quickly went to their rooms. “Vhat is vrong with everyone lately..” he went to chase's room which the door was locked. “Chase?” he knocked on the door. Chase got up and opened the door and hugged Henrik. “Z-zhat was unexpected” he rubbed his hand on chases back and hugged back. “May I come in” “y-yeh” chase said wiping his tears that just had fallen. They both sat on chases bed which had his dirty clothes on it. “vhats wrong Chase?” Chase knew he could tell him anything. “I-i called stacey about taking t-he kids to the Cringemas party b-but she said they didnt w-want to go-” Chase sucked in his snot and wiped his eyes. “H-ey- hey don't vorry about them just forget about vhat she zaid” Henrik put his hand on his shoulder and held his hand. “B-but.. I just wanted to s-see them a- ag-ian.” tears came from chases eyes and he hugged Henrik very tightly and cried in his white coat. “Shhh, Chase i'm here for you.. I promise.. You got to lizten to me now.” He rubbed his back trying to calm him down. “Forget about them”.... “th-ank you for helping me feel better… your a good d-doctor. he looked at him and henrick wiped chases tears away. “For now on.. call me Henrik, i'm your best friend” he smiled. Chase blushed a little and cleaned his eyes and he calmed down. “What will I ever do without you” They both cuddled and finally fell asleep in eachothers arms.
“I really like writing this :D Can't wait to do the next part! Teehee ^^”
Next
NO FUN
Chase was on his bed on his laptop looking at Jacksepticeye’s instagram. “Oh Jack.. why are you so happy and successful I have to live in a house with these losers”.. "I have nothing to be thankful for." Chase pouted to himself while looking at pictures of jack, which he looked very happy in. It was very early in the morning he was up all night thinking about the kids and didn’t really have much sleep only when henrik got up to brush his teeth. “*yawn*” Chase had to get up too, but didn't feel like it, so he put his laptop down and threw the sheet over his head and laid down.his eyes grew heavy and he soon closed them and went to sleep, When he heard his door open, “get your ass up!” said someone. The voice sounded like Jackieboyman, but chase ignored him. “Go away” chase moaned. “Ok but i guess you don't wanna say goodbye to Henrik.” jackie ran out the room like a baby. “Wait what?!” Chase quickly rose up and looked around. “Jackie???” Chase got up and chased after jackie but then bumped into henrik on the way almost kissing . “Ow!” Chase shouted. “Henrik! You're still here!” chase said blushing “zhere you are ! Oh and zorry i didn’t see you coming ``Henrik said with a smile. “Y-your leaving aren’t you.” Chase looked at him with worried eyes. “Yes.. I have to do my job you know I'm a doctor.” He said. “B-but i thought you don't work on Sundays that's not fair!” “I have sick patient i need to vorry about” “so you don't have to worry about what I'm going through.” Chase argued. “Of course I do!” Henrik reassured him. “I care about you more than anything chase, you just need to learn that i can't be here for you always.. You need to start taking care of your own problems.” Henrik said very calm. “Yes doctor..” chase felt kinda guilty now that Henrik had told him to deal with his own problems Chase didn't know how to do that. “Lizten you are young.. But itz time you take care of your responsibilities you underztand me?” “yeh..” Chase looked down at his feet in shame. “Im sorry” Henrik hugged him. Chase buried his face in heriks chest, he felt as if he was going for a long time.. He hated whenever he left he would always got into trouble or had to be alone all day. “Remember stay where Jackie can zee you, he will be watching you, ve dont vant you to get into trouble like you did last time.” “okay, okay i know” Chase said annyoed “I’ll be back zoon i promise.” Henrik grabbed his coat and put it on. “Bye..” “bye chase… and remember dont even think about your wife or the kids.” Chase didn't answer he just thought how boring the day would be with Jackie and Marvin. Then jackie ran into the room while tripping with a coffee mug in his hand. “WAIT DOC!!” he yelled. “Oh yes, i need my coffee!" Henrik took the coffee and took a big sip. “Oh heeeeyyy Chase.” Jackie rubbed the top of chases head. “Oh and you forgot your hat.” he reminded Chase and he had his hat in his hand. “Ugh.. thanks.” Chase took his hat and put it on. “Im gonna make sure you dont do anything stupid haha!” jackie laughed. “Oh i won't!” chase said with an attitude. “I'm going to my room” Chase left kinda pissed off. “Well bye doc.” “bye Jackie, make sure Chase doesn't feel too bad about me leaving,.” “sure” Jackie pushed Henrik out the door and slammed the door behind him. He quickly jumped to his feet happy that Henrik was gone. “OH MARVIN!!!” jackie yelled while running to jump onto the couch beside Marvin who had a bowl of popcorn. “What are we gonna watch?”Marvin asked putting popcorn in his mouth. ‘SPIDERMAN!!!” jackie yelled “YES!” Marvin yelled back, putting his arm around jackie ready to watch the movie.
Chase was in his room on his phone looking at Twitter. He then put it down and lay in his bed for a while thinking. Since Anti was out with Robbie and Jameson(two of antis closest friends in the house) Chase didn’t have anybody to hang out with. Besides Marvin and Jackie. Chase got up and went to check what they were doing. He crept to the living room and saw the both of them. It looked like they were playing? “Haha stop!” Marvin giggled. Jackie was tickling marvin as Marvin threw popcorn at him. It looked like fun but Chase kinda wanted to keep watching. Fools. Chase thought to himself as he watched them. Marvin was trying to push Jackie off the couch it looked like. “Come on Marv!” Jackie laughed almost getting on top of marvin.”i just wanna play!” “Hahahahaha!! Get off me you jackass!!” Marvin laughed and giggled Chase hadn't seen Marvin that happy before.”hahaha Marvin!” Marvin was still fighting him and Jackie was still playing. “Hahahaha! Jackie no! Haha! stop hahah please!. Marvin kicked jackie's belly, still laughing. What the fuck are they doing? Chase continued to spy on the two as they wrestled. . “Come on say it Marvi!” Jackie said laughing taking marvins mask off. “Don't you love me?” Jackie giggled. he kept tickling as he Marvin giggled too. “yeh! “ Marvin laughed even harder. “What was that? Come on say you love me haha!” “Oh my god! Yes i love you jackie hahah!” He kicked The bowl of popcorn which fell on the floor.making a huge mess.”how much!” Jackie gave Marvin a kiss on the cheek. Marvins face was covered red. “I love you alot jackie.” Marvin stopped laughing and smiled at jackie. Chase noticed that he never actually saw marvins face before. But now it was kinda clear that Jackie and Marvin are in a relationship. Their together?? but i didn't know that they were? Yuck! How did I not know? But why?. Chase thought. And oh my god marvins face looks so weird without a mask. “OKOK STOP!” Marvin laughed harder. “Aww ok” jackie got off and laughed as marvin’s hair was messed up. “You look funny without your kitty cat mask on haha!” he giggled. “Fuck you!” Marvin pulled jackie's mask and then let go of it as it hit his face with a smack. “OW!” jackie yelled. “But ...You look cute without your mask too..” jackie said with a smile. “Oh..” marvin blushed again. “Lets go check on Chase!” Marvin changed the subject. And jackie got up. “Shit!” chase whispered and ran to his room and quietly slammed the door. “Dude they're a couple!?” chase said to himself. “Wow.. and eww.” chase said. Then chase remembered the time when he had a partner.. Stacy. Chase was lost in thought when Marvin opened the door. He had his mask back on, and jackie had a cup of water. “Chase we've come to check on you. Jackie said and handed him the cup of water. “Eww water?” “well isn't it better than drugs??” Marvin remind Chase smiling. “but- “ chase whined. “Oh c'mon you know Doc doesn't let you have that shit!” jackie said. “We are trying to get you off that duhhh.”jackie said touching Chases nose as Chase looked at him disgusted. “so what were you doing?” Marvin said. “Oh! I was er- on Youtube watching Jacksepticeye’s new video.” Chase lied. “Me and marvin were watching spiderman!” Jackie lied as well. “what video was it?” Marvin asked Chase. “U-um.. The one about.-. Him playing a game!” Chase studdard and his face turned red. “Oh really can we see?” Jackie said curious. Chase looked at them with a mad face. “Why don't you believe me!” “you think i'm doing something like… trying to kill myself?GEEZ!!” Marvin and jackie both looked at eachother "Jesus Christ no!!" Jackie said. “No- no of course not!” Marvin said quickly. “We just are following doctors orders” jackie said. “Chase laid on his bed and threw a pillow at them “get out!!” Chase screamed. “Chase!” Jackie picked the pillow up. “What's the matter?” Chase was pretty upset.. Chase looked down at his feet thinking about the kids and what hnerik had said. ignoring jackie. ”i said get your asses out!!” Chase yelled again. Marvin was kinda tired of Chases attitude he knew what he was thinking... “Well it's not our fault your wife left you!” Marvin said walking out the room. Chase looked up with wide eyes he couldn’t believe marvin would say something like that. He knew Chase had depression about all of it. “Marvin!” jackie turned around to go after Marvin. Chase got up and slammed the door behind jackie and locked it. He sat down and buried his face in his knees. “Chase?!” “ you didn't have to get so mad at us? And now you made Marvin mad just open the Goddamn door !” jackie yelled. ‘NO!!” chase cried. “Please!” jackie said. But chase didn't answer. Chase looked up to here what jackie would say next, he never said anything. For a minute chase thought jackie left. “Jackie?” Chase checked. He didn't answer. Chase got up and looked through the crack in the door jackie was gone. With a sigh chase went and sat on his bed and drank the cup of water. “Yuck” he swallowed it, it tasted plain and gross. “Where did this come from the toilet.” with a sigh Chase laid it down on the table. He then got out his phone to call Henrik. “Pick up pick up!” He said hoping henrik wasn't too busy. When his phone rang a couple times he never answered. “God Damn it!” Chase screamed in his other pillow. He thought that he would never have fun with jackie and marvin here they never wanted to do anything with him. Chase got up and opened his door and checked to see what they were doing again.
Marvin and Jackie were in the kitchen sitting at a table, and it looked like they were sharing cookies and milk with each other. Jackie touched his nose on Marvins and looked into his eyes blushing. “I love you Marvi…” Jackie said and then Marvin said “i love you” back closing his eyes. Chase watched them “eww” chase whispered to himself. And walked away. “Fine if there gonna be to busy making love or something er- whatever- I'm outta here!” he whispered and then went and grabbed his hoodie and went quietly out the door.
“I ship Marvin and Jackie! Yay! ”
You Can Say It’s Just Jack Frost.
Chase walked the streets with his hoodie on his head with his hat on. It was freezing out there. “Brrr.” Chase shivered. “T-this i-is the r-right thing t-to do….” he said holding himself. “I gotta f-fi-nd s-somewhere t-to g-go.” Chase kept on walking he didn't even know why he left to start with. Even stupider that he didn't even take his car. “I-im s-such an idiot.” he closed his freezing eyes, it seems like it was going snow. He was thinking about going to Anti and the others for help.. But he just realized he didn't know where they went. “I-im gonna f-ffreeze to d-death!” chase said gritting his teeth. He came to some houses. He wanted to knock on them but didn't bother.. He remembered what Henrik told him. “Never approach strangers” he remembered. He pulled out his phone to call Anti. Surprisingly he picked up! “Hey chase!” Anti said, and he sounded happy? “H-hey A-Anti.” chase shivers. “are you crying?” Anti said being mean. “N-n-o!” Chase tried to explain. “I-m c-c-old!” chase said. “Who cares.” Anti said annyoed “and why the fuck are you outside your gonna die!- Well i probably wouldn’t care.” anti said coughing. “W-what?” chase said not hearing Anti’s comment. “W-hat are you e-even d-oing?” “were just hangin… wanna come i can get Jameson to come get you.” Anti said. “S-ur-” Chase almost said when he remmberd what Herik said. Don't trust anti.. Stay away from him.” The thought shivers through chases spine. He wanted to accept the offer so badly. “Comon Chase, you wanna hang with us… right?” Anti said trying to convince him. “Y-yes..” Chase said like a baby. “Then come on..” “i-.. Ok…” “hahahaha” Anti giggled. “Ok wait somewhere Jamseson is coming. “O-ok..” Chase found a bench and sat down, scrubbing his hands togethor blowing in them to make him warm. The bench was really cold and icy on his bottom. “F-fuck t-its c-cold.!” chase said, wishing Jameson would hurry up. I don't even know why Henrik told me to stay away from Anti.. I trust him. Chase thought to himself. I wonder how the kids are doing..” i wonder what Jackie and Marvin might think about all this.. If they find out i left im dead! “Well i might be dead if Jameson doesn't hurry his ass up!!” Chase yelled out loud as white fog came out his mouth. Suddenly a small white snowflake came down from the sky. “O-oh God..” Chase muttered. And it landed on his nose as it melted. Then came more and more.. It was snowing. “Brrr” chase shacked and freezed. “I-it's-sn-owing!” more and more snow fell as Chase began to freeze even more.what was Antis problem? Couldn't Jameson really take that long! soon minutes past. Chases hands were numb and he couldn't feel his legs anymore. Then what's even worse he had to pee. He couldn't talk either he was beginning to wonder if it was really worth leaving.. Or even trusting anti… He laid on the bench and covered himself with his hoodie “i….-i h-hav-ve t-o c-call H-hen-rik….” Chase said beginning to freeze. He forced himself to try to pick his phone out of his pocket and then he turned it on.. It was almost frozen. But when he turned it on it died.. “N-no…” Chase looked in despair as his phone fell to the ground. He knew he probably wouldn't survive in this condition. Chase took all his strength and threw himself on the ground and used his arms to drag himself through the snow. Then Chase realized.. Jameson never showed up...Anti lied to him… As chase tried to pull .. he couldn't bear it much longer.. His eyes closed and tears filled his eyes… “i_im so-rry…. “ Chase then finally past out in the middle of nowhere freezing ..to death.
Counted how many times I say “even” in this story
The Doc Is On The Case
“Chase!” A voice shouted. “CHASE! GET UP!” The voice shouted again. Chase couldn’t get up.. He heard the voice and it sounded familiar. But couldn’t make out who it actually was. Then the person picked him up. And took him in his car. Where am i… and whos caring me.. Chase thought to himself. Chase heard whoever was saving him saying something. “Chase you’ll be ok! I promise just hold on! Stay with me!” The voice cried. Then chase tried opening his eyes he was too cold and he still was kinda frozen up. He felt a hand on his face it was really warm.. And felt a warm blanket go across his body. The car was warm too everything around was warming up. He finally could open his eyes. He saw the face of his most bestest friend..Henrik, first off he thought he was dreaming but he wasn’t it was a christmas miracle! “H-henrik..” “Chase!?” Henrik smiled and held chase’s hand. “Don’t vorry we'll be home before you know it..” Henrik cranked up the car and began to drive while Chase sat beside him bundled up in a blanket. “I-im.. sorry” Chase said sniffing. “No don’t be… it's not your fault.” Henrik kept driving, since he was a doctor he knew what to do about Chase. As they drove Chase couldnt be more happier that Henrik was there he knew he would be ok.. “Thank you..” Chase began to fall asleep as he heard henrik say “your velcome.” in his beautiful german accent. Chase was actually warm inside and didn't want this moment to end. At home~ Suddenly chase woke up and he was placed in a warm bed. It was henriks bed. Maybe he wasn't placed in his own bed because it was a mess. Chase had been placed in an orange tank top and some sleep pants. “Henrik?” Chase said opening his tired eyes yawning. “Yes chase?” Henrik answers. “You're a lifesaver.” Chase laughed. “Oh no problem.” Henrik gave chase some coffee. Chase took a sip as the warm liquid taste on his taste buds were so delicious and warm. And he swallowed it, it was so much better than water! (speaking of gross) “Wheres Marvin and Jackie?” chase asked. “Oh those two troublemakers!” Henrik said. “I sent them to go get some groceries and some other stuff for you.” Henrik scratched his head. “But I can't believe they didn't notice you were gone.. I'm sorry this happened to you Chase.. I'll make sure they will regret doing that!” Henrik said in a mad voice. “No.. it was my fault.. They didn't let me go..” Chase sat up and put the coffee mug down. “I went on my own..” He finally said. “What? Why?” “you never picked up your phone i called but you never answered. So I snuck out of the house and went to find somewhere else to go…``''oh chase! Why.. you almost killed yourself…” and then henrik just realized what he said.. Chase usually wanted to do that! “Chase it's not your fault.. I'm sorry I didn't pick up the phone, I was probably with a patient. “So why didn't you ask someone for help? When i found you you were laying in the ground bundled up.” Henrik explained. “I-i called Anti.. He said he would get Jameson to come pick me up-” chase was interrupted by Henrik “and the bastard never showed!” Henrik shouted not believing what he was hearing. “Y-yes…” Chase knew he shouldn't have brought Anti up.. “I told you to stay away from Anti!” henrik said angrily. “Im sorry.. I couldnt help it i was freezing!” Chase augured back. “Why did you let him get into your head!” “I didn't know!?..” Chase said confused. Then right when henrik was going to say another comment Jackie knocked on the door. “Hello??” “doc are you in there?’ Jackie said. Henrik got up and opened the door seeing Marvin with a bowl of soup and jackie with a blanket. “ come in.” henrik said kinda still mad at Chase. They both came in and looked at Chase. “Well you sure do look warm.” Marvin said sitting the soup on the table. “Yeh..” chase was almost feeling guilty Marvin Jackie and Henrik were both trying to help chase for something he did wrong.. This was all his fault. Jackie sat down next to chase putting the blanket over his feet. “There ya go.” jackie smiled. “Um.. thanks? Your not mad at me for leaving?
Jackie looked up at Chase with a confused look. “Of course im mad!” Jackie said. “Yes chase we all are mad at you!” Henrik said. “Oh…” Chase looked down and closed his eyes shut.. He really couldnt believe they all were mad at him.. But he did think that henrik wasnt that mad.. After all he was upset because of Anti. Henrik to a deep breath. “Chase we don't actually blame you.. This could happen to anyone.” Henrik said trying to be calm. “I know.. But I'm the one that listened to Anti.” “Anti?” jackie said looking surprised. “Yeh Anti told Chase that jameson will pick him up and bring him, but he never showed.” Henrik explained. “Oh that's tough!” jackie said. “Im gonna get that jackass!” Jackie said. “Wow calm down.. No ones messing with Anti.” Marvin reminded Jackie. Jackie got up and put his hoodie on his head “no worries i'm a superhero did you forget?” He bragged holding up his fists. “Sit your ass down!” Henrik said. Pulling on Jackie's hoodie. “Whatever!” jackie sat down beside Marvin who was sitting near Chase who was getting kinda annoyed that everyone was sitting on his legs. “Guys? Can i have some space?” Chase said with an annoyed face. “Um no i see that your better now. Did you think you were sick?” “yeh cmon get up its my turn!” jackie pulled on Chase's arm jumping on the bed. “Dude what the fuck! Get off!” chase yelled. “C'mon we want some attention too!” Marvin pulled the blanket off of chase. “What no!” Chase pulled the blanket from marvin and stuck his tongue out at him. “ very immature chase.” Henrik said. Chase looked at him with a stupid face. jackie laughed and jumped on Chase and was trying to push him out the bed. “Cmon me and Marvin cooked cookies lets go!” Marvin got out of the bed and went with henrik in the kitchen. “Don’t you want to finish your soup?” jackie sat down in front of chase. “No.. I hate soup. Chase pouted. Jackie pulled chase’s hat over his face."aww Chase you hate everything!" "Well.. Soup taste like shit!" Chase whined again. “Then let’s go eat those cookies before they do!!!” jackie jumped off the bed and ran out the door. Chase rolled his eyes and went after him.
Dr. Scheeplestien saved the day.. Hey i thought jackie was the superhero! XD
Not Gonna Reach My Telephone
Chase was in the kitchen with Robbie eating some cereal which was from Halloween and it was gross too. Chase was eating some sour patch kids cereal, which was probably gross too . “Mmm!” Robbie said crunching loudly. “Eww how can you eat that stuff!” Chase said disgusted. “Robbie is on box. ” Robbie said pionting at the box. Since robbie didn’t know how to talk properly he didn't really know much. So he kinda sounded weird when he talked.”this is robbie's favorwite cereal. Robbie said sticking his tongue out. “but why are you eating it its too old.” “your a meanie Chase, it Halloween duh.” Robbie said acting like Chase was the dumb one. “Whatever.” Chase said putting another spoon full in his mouth. “ how are eating that shit?” Robbie said looking over in Chases bowl. “Because I saw it on a commercial duhhhh.” Chase said back at robbie who was slurping down his milk. Like a pig.Then Marvin came walking in with his eyes looking tired. “Hey guys.” Marvin sat down beside them yawning. “Chase why did you put sour patch kids in your cereal?” “this is my cereal!” Chase said laughing. Then Robbie started laughing as Chase had a milk mustache. “Haha you look like Jameson hahaha!” Robbie laughed pionting at Chase. Chase wiped his mouth with his sleeve. “Pass me the milk.” Marvin asked “ill help!” Robbie offered to help, so he grabbed the milk with one hand which his hand sipped and the jug of milk accidentally dropped and the milk poured it all over the floor “oopsies!!” Robbie said slipping on the floor falling on the floor on his bottom. “Owie!!” Robbie cried. “Robbie!” Marvin looked at him disappointed. “Are you ok?!” chase went to help him up. Marvin rolled his eyes and help dry up the milk. “Im stupid…” robbie whined. “No your not… i fall on my ass all the time haha..” Chase laughed embarrassed. “Hahaha tanks chase.” Robbie hugged him and chase shrugged. “You really should be more careful Robbie.” Marvin looked at him crossing his arms. "Fuck off!" Robbie said sticking his tongue out. "Um. Robbie you do know who your talking to?" Chase said. Marvin smiled and rubbed the top of Robbie's head. "Its okay robbie." "Okay! In that case! Here ya go!" Robbie yelled and was slumbling to pour some milk in a cup and handed it to Marvin. "Er- eww- thanks." Marvin looked at it and snatched it away from Robbie. "Jesus.." Chase said being annoyed at both of them, but more of Marvin. "Marvin why don't you go shit in a litter box!" Chase said taking the cup from him. Robbie laughed and cleaned the rest of the milk up. "Oh go cry in a corner!" Marvin said back. Chase looked at him with a death stare, kinda concerned. "Go make out with Jackie! Hahaha!" Chase said back making Robbie laugh. "WHAT! HAHAHAHAHA!!! MARVIN X JACKIE!" Robbie yelled spitting out his milk pointing. Marvin's face was turned flush red under his mask.. He was really embarrassed. "U-um-" Marvin studdard blushing. "Fuck you guys!" Marvin said running out the room almost knocking over a chair. Chase sticked his tongue out. "Yeah! run scaredy cat! Ha!" Chase laughed Robbie laughed harder enjoying Chases company like he always did. Chase was a good friend maybe because Anti is close to Chase and that makes Robbie like Chase. Chase stopped laughing and realized who he was with. He remembered what Anti did to him.. Leaving him in the cold like that other night on purpose.. Chase obviously needed to deal with the problem. "H-hey.. Robbie can you do me a favor?" Chase said sitting straight in his chair. Robbie looked up with a confused face. "What?" Robbie looked in Chase's ocean blue eyes. Chase kinda didn't know how Robbie was gonna react because he was so young but Chase had to know for some reason. "Um… I need to talk to you okay?" Chase said acting like Robbie was a baby. "Ok… " Robbie's voice sounded weak and it cracked. "Where were you last night?" Chase said trying to sound calm. He didn't want to argue with Robbie after all. "We went to.. place where to sleep." Robbie explained in a quiet voice. "Oh so when you mean we you mean JJ and Anti and you?" Chase asked. "Yeah duhh " Robbie answers sitting up straight. "Do u know where you were??.. I mean what did u do?" "We went and eat pizza Robbie's favorite!" Robbie said with a happy smile.. Chase looked at him smiling and maybe thought Robbie was gonna be easy to talk to. "Um.. So where did u go to sleep?" "Anti calls it apartment? But we went to sleep there Robbie have no sleep..I hate it there" Robbie pouted. "Yeah.. You missed it here huh?" Robbie didn't answer instead he got up to put the milk up. "Why are we talking again?" Surprisingly Robbie said that plain and simple. Chase just said it out loud. "Why did Jameson never show up?" Robbie yawned and looked at chase. "What?" Robbie said. Chase groaned and got up and walked over to Robbie grabbing him. "Dude! It's not that hard just tell me why Anti lied to me?!" Robbie's eyes widened. "Anti lied?" Chase face palmed himself. "Didn't u know about what happened?" "Nope??" Robbie said sounding dumb. "OH MY GOD! U FUCKIN IDIOT!" chase accidentally said out loud. Henrik came in the room looking confused. "Chase?!?!" He shouted which made chase jump. "Zhat are you doing to that poor child!" Henrik came and shoved chase off Robbie. "Were talking about Anti!" Robbie blurted out. Chase looked at Robbie and then towards Henrik . "well… why don't you just head on to bed Robbie I'll deal with chase here." Robbie went walking limp. "Chase.. Please don't tell me you vere talking about vhat happen?" "I-i'm sorry… I just wanted to know why." Chase looked up at Henrik. "Oh chase… I know your young and curious about different things.. But you know how Anti is.. " Henrik took his finger and put it on chases chin and lifted his head, looking him in the eyes. Chase kinda blushed. "I know.." "As we all know we don't know what Anti is planning or anything.. He can be bad at times and good at times." Henrik shrugged. "Don't start trouble.. Its already bad enough that you have to deal with Stacy and the kids.. I don't need you making more things happen that's not your concern. " "anti is the least of your problems is vhat I'm saying" Henrik said with a very calm voice. He was very concerned for Chases safety. "I know you're trying to make me stay away from him.. But it seems like I can trust him." "Yeh and see where you ended up.. " Henrik reminded. Chase let out a sigh. Thinking of a way to make Henrik not make at him. "Please understand.." Henrik touched chases shoulder. "I do.." Chase smiled a little. "Forget about what happen it doesn't matter don't let him get into your head.." Henrik kept trying to talk some sense into his best friend. "Its like I have to forget about a lot of things.." Chase clenched his eyes shut. "I wanna be able to trust that you take my words seriously chase.. I'm not playing this time. I gave you your varning" Henrik said with a concerned voice. "Your a young boy chase.. With a lot to learn, I'm telling you if you don't change your life you'll end up in a situation you'll regret happening." Henrik kept talking fluiding chases mind with different thoughts which he totally didn't care to hear why should I listen to a doctor.. I mean he's my best friend. Its where to the point, I can't control it any longer…. Chase interrupted Henrik. "Fine.. I'll work things out with Stacy.." Chase finally said. Henrik looked up surprised. "Oh chase that's wonderful!" Henrik smiled. "Or maybe you should go to her house and work things out?" Henrik said. Chase really didn't think that was a good idea last time he went to see her they had a fight. "Um.. Maybe.." Chase said finally still thinking. Henrik took his phone out his pocket and gave it to chase to call her. Chase looked up and smiled "ok." He took the phone and hugged Henrik very tightly and put his face in his chest. "Thanks again..". Henrik let out a sigh and looked down to see chases happy face in his warm chest. Henrik didn't answer he just was proud Chase felt safe.
Time skipped ~ Chase went in his room and sat on his bed cracking the door so no one would barge in. Chase dialed Stacy's number. Number by number Chases heart raced. He didn't know how she was going to react He didn't talk to her in awhile. He really missed her…oh maybe she wont answer.. I mean- I want her too.. After all i'm sure we can work something out? Right? Ugh what am i thinking its stacy!
Then chase shot up when he heard a tempered voice. He was glad to hear. “Oh it’s you Chase what do you want?” Stacy said in a mean voice. She almost sounded like Marvin when he got annoyed with Chase. Chase gulped. He stood there for like 10 seconds staring at his phone. “I know it's you Chase pick up your damn phone!” Stacy yelled. “W-what!? S-stacy??” Chase said quickly. “Oh come on what do u want, you better not have a stupid exuscuse to want me back its not happening. Stacy said. “No! That's not it! I.. i just wanna ask you something.” Chase tried to say calm. “Fine it better not be something dumb like begging to me about some stupid shit.” Stacy didn’t seem at all happy that Chase was on the phone. “Im sorry.. Just please don’t hang up.” Chase begged. “If you were sorry you'll be a great father and a great husband.” Stacy said with an attitude. “I-im sorry stacy please let me just talk to the kids.. And i promise i would be a good father..” “how can i take you seriously when all you do is drink!” “i stopped that!” chase said getting mad. “You make me sick chase. The kids don't want an alcoholic for a father! And I don't want a looser for a husband.” “stacy.. I'm sorry!” “you already said you were sorry!” Chase couldnt believe what he was hearing he never thought stacy would be this mad at him. “Please! I'll do anything to see them.. Can we just work things out.. “ Chase pleaded. “And dont bring up that stupid party i already said they don't care to go.” “n-no.-” Chase tried to explain. “The kids don't want anything to do with you right now chase..” Stacy said. Chase stopped for a second.. He just wanted to cry but didn't because stacy would just beat him down for that too.. “Stacy.. Why..”
“No chase! I'm sick of your bullshit if you don't want to get your life together, so be it.. Your not gonna see the kids again!” Stacy said pissed off. Chases heart just felt like it sank.. He was crushed for the fact that stacy would say such horrible words.. Tears started to fill his eyes. His stomach felt like it had a stone inside it. “Wh-hat…” Chases voice cracked with tears rolling down his cheeks. “You heard me, don't speak to me again or I will be calling the law on you!
“Goodbye!!!” Stacy went to hang up when chases phone slipped as he caught it in time. Holding it close to his ear. “W-wait!! Just let them stay only on the weekend??!!-” Chase quickley studdard but it was too late Stacy hung up…. “Stacy!? Stacy??- …. Im.. sorry.” Chase clenched his eyes shut as tears kept falling down his cheeks. He threw his phone at the wall.. He was truly broken inside.(actually the phone is xD) Chase laid on his belly sobbing in his pillow as hard as he could.
He cried for a long time only when he heard the door squeak. “GO AWAY!!” Chase sobbed harder at the person at his door. But nobody answered. Chase thought it was someone just playing. “DID YOU HEAR ME I SAID G-” Chase rose up and stopped when he saw Jameson standing at his door with a scared look. Chase wiped his nose and eyes. “Jameson.. It's only you..”(here's where it gets boring -_-) Jameson nodded and sat beside chase with a warm welcoming smile. Jamseon was a mute so he needed to do hand gestures. What's wrong? Jameson hand signaled. “I called stacy.. It didn't go..so well.” Chase told JJ telling him everything. Im sorry. Jameson wished he could just talk and tell chase how he really felt about all this but it wasn't really easy to do hand gestures. “Oh sorry do u need something to write on.” Chase went under his bed and pulled on a whiteboard and a marker handing it to Jameson. Jameson bowed his head thanking chase. Jameson wrote on the broad. Chase i'm sorry that has happened to you, but you shouldn't let someone get the best of you.. Listen no ones perfect.. That's why pencils have erasers.. Jameson wrote and then he looked up and shrugged. No i actually need an eraser! Jameson smiled. Chase kinda giggled and gave him an eraser. Chases eyes were still watery so Jameson gave him a handkerchief out of his pocket. “Thanks..your a good friend.. Better than everyone else could be to me...” Chase smiled. It's gonna be ok Chase i promise. Jameson hugged Chase as he saw the tears coming back, it was hard to keep it together because he seemed like such a baby and he still thought of life without the kids now.. Jameson was worried for his friend he just wanted to cheer him up. “I-i miss them..” chase sobbed. I know. Jameson said that time with his mouth movement. You know chase.. It takes a real man to cry in front of another ... Jameson wrote that and chase was kinda cheered up by it. “Oh jameson what will i ever do without someone like you..” Chase hugged tighter making jameson hug more. (Jesus christ) They sat there awhile. Wow… JJ sure did help me calm down.. Now i kinda feel bad for blaming him for leaving me in the cold. Chase knew that things were not over between him and the kids, he knew it.
Stacy is a bitch! Lol but the next part is kinda stupid XD
This is based on the song telephone by lady gaga.
Hurts Like Hell
Jameson went and chase was still laying in his bed.and Meanwhile He got up and was looking in his drawer for his phone. He completely forgot that he through it somewhere. He searched through and came across a photo of him and the kids. It was the one where they went to DisneyLand together.. Chase looked at the photo.. Wishing that he could change the past.. But he can't. “Why did this have to happen to me.. I'm such an idiot..” “stacy's right.” Chase looked down at it. “Right about what?” Jackie shoved the door open hitting the wall. “Dude whats your fuckin problem?!” Chase got up. “What are you doing??” jackie smiled. “Nothing get out of my room.” Chase just wanted to be alone right now besides he was already mad enough about stacy. “Oh please just tell me, hey! What's this” jackie took the photo from Chase. “Give that back!!!” Chase yelled. “Ohhhh your kids.” “jackie! Im not in the mood for your bullshit give me the picture!” Chase struggled to get it back. Jackie grinned. “Hey, Chase were you on the phone with Stacy?” Chase looked up how did you know!!?!” Chase was getting frustrated. “I was kinda looking in on you.” Jackie said. “Why the fuck are you trying to get in my business!!” “why were you trying to get in my business?!” jackie looked at him mad. Chase stopped and looked at him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
Jackie looked at chase and then at the picture. “What r u doing??” Chase looked at jackie concerned. Jackie quickly took the picture and ripped it apart throwing it to the ground. “NO!” chase shouted picking them up.”WHAT THE FUCK??” “YOU WERE SPYING ON ME AND MARVIN WEREN'T YOU?! YOU KNOW EVERYTHING AND YOU TOLD EVERYONE!” "LIKE CANT I HAVE A LIFE WITHOUT YOU GETTING IN THE WAY!? Jackie surprisingly yelled out loud. “W-what?” chase remembered that.. Was he not suppose to know? “DONT PLAY STUPID CHASE! WHY DONT U MIND UR OWN BUSINESS!” jackie yelled at him.chase was getting really mad. “WHO FUCKIN CARES IF YOUR DATING THAT BITCH ANYWAYS!” chase shouted back. Marvin walked in the room he looked mad too. “Don't talk to him like that!” marvin said. “Why are you loving your own person?! Thats stupid!” Chase said." Your disgusting! " At this point it was kinda turning into a fight. “SHUT UP CHASE SINCE WHEN DO U HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY THAT?? IT'S NOT LIKE ANYONE LOVES YOU!” jackie was really angry, chase's face was shot with anger as well."SHUT UP!" “You cant even take care of yourself!?” “yeh your the stupid one! Now i know why your wife didnt want you!” “THATS NOT WHY SHE LEFT ME!!” “ohh then why did she?” Marvin said with a smart comment. Chase looked at Marvin and jackie with a death stare wishing that he couldt just punch those two right in the mouth. “YOU TWO DON'T CARE ABOUT HOW I FEEL!” “YOU DONT KNOW HOW IT FEELS!” Chase raged. “OF COURSE WE DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FUCKIN LIFE THATS NOT OUR PROBLEM!” Marvin yelled. “WHY DONT U GO CRY YOURSELF ASLEEP LIKE YOU ALWAYS DO CHASE??” Jackie yelled. Chase never knew that he would get in a fight with them.they were one of his true best friends. “THAT'S ALL THAT YOUR EGO IS GOOD FOR CRYING! ALL DAY YOU CRY ABOUT SOMETHING THAT DOESN'T EVEN WANT YOU!” At that point robbie and jameson were at the door watching the fight. “ALL YOU TALK ABOUT IS STACY! SHE DOESN'T LOVE YOU FOR THE LAST GODDAMN TIME!” “ SHE MAY NOT CARE ABOUT ME… BUT ATLEAST I HAVE A HEART!”the fight went back in forth. “I FUCKIN HATE THIS PLACE DO YOU THINK I WANNA SPEND MY LIFE WITH EVERYONE HERE! OF COURSE NOT!” Chase was talking over Marvin and jackie now they actually stopped to shut up. “NO ONE EVER CARES ABOUT HOW I FEEL! ITS NOT FUCKIN FAIR… I WISH I WAS DEAD!” chase got so loud now.. All the egos came in the room. That even everyone stopped to here what he had to say now . And chase was even crying too. “I HATE EVERYONE IN THIS GODDAMN WORLD! “But chase..” robbie began to say but Anti shook his head no to shut him up. “EVERY FUCKIN DAY I PRAY TO GOD THAT MY CHILDREN COME THROUGH THAT FUCKIN DOOR...BUT THEY NEVER DO BECAUSE MY ASSHOLE WIFE IS KEEPING THEM AWAY FROM ME!.. “AND I CRY EVERYDAY LIKE A FUCKIN LITTLE BITCH!” “DO YOU THINK MY LIFE IS SIMPLE! “ "I SHOULD JUST KILL MYSELF! MAYBE THAT WILL FINALLY GET YOUR ATTENTION!!!" Henrik was staring at chase with tears in his eyes.. Everyone was.. Even Anti had to say.. He kinda felt bad for him. “I'M DONE WITH ALL OF YOU!” chase finally said wiping his tears away.”chase.. No..” Henrik pleaded. Chase didn't even bare looking at Henrik he just walk off pushing henrik pass him. Chase went out the door. “What’s gonna happen to chase..” robbie said. “Well.. he’ll be back.” Anti said with his arm around robbie. Henrik picked the photo up. “Poor chase..” “i-im s-sorry doc…” Jackie looked to the ground upset. “I know you are jackie… I know….”
When chase said Marvin didn't have a heart- well he does on his forehead XD lol this chapter was long..-_-
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"Mommy.. When is daddy coming back.." The kids were really upset they haven't seen their father in a month.. Stacy looked at her little girl. "I'm sorry honey.. But he isn't coming back.." Stacy forced herself to say. She knew she was lying to her own kids but she obviously didn't seem to care. "W-why..?" The little boy said. "Oh he doesn't want you guys anymore.he said that he didn't want to see you ever again." Stacy told the kids in a lie. "But Daddy loves us doesn't he?" Their voices sounded soft and muffled. Chase was desperate to see his kids that's the only thing he wanted. "I'm sorry kids he just doesn't have time for you.. But hey, it's better than not having no parents at all." Stacy hated her ex and couldn't see that he only wanted to change what he done in the past. Stacy was frustrated with his foolish choices. Since he had been doing drugs about some time she can't trust him around her own children. "Now. I don't wanna hear you talk about him no more ok?". They both looked at their mother believing her . " yes mam." She hugged them both smiling.
~Meanwhile… Jackie was getting some breakfast while thinking of what happened the other day. He couldn't believe that Chase wasn't coming back.. It was coming to the point where Chase might of left for good. Henrik came in the kitchen and saw Jackie staring off in the distance. "Jackie?" Henrik walked over to his friend to see if he was okay. Jackie seemed upset Henrik never seen him like this before. "Henrik.. Hey" "What.. U doin?" Henrik said . he's probably worried about Chase. Even Henrik was sure of that everyone was starting to worry about Chase because he hasn't come back this morning. "I-its all.. My fault.."Jackie finally said in a baby voice. Henrik looked up in shock. "What? No, no it's not your fault Jackie.." Henrik went to grab his shoulder. Jackie around to face him. "Chase is gone… and it's all my fault!…" "Don't blame yourself He's gonna come back.." Henrik wasn't sure about that though. "If I have never been such a selfish bitch..He would have... still been here.." Jackie looked at the ground holding a cup of milk in his hands. "How is it your fault?? You couldn't have known chase was gonna storm out like that!" "Well who started the fight!" Jackie looked into the doctor's eyes looking really worried. "Jackie… please don't blame yourself.. I know Chase is probably.. Gone.. -look Chase was mad okay? Henrik studdard to say.. He loved Chase like more than a patient but as a brother of course he wasn't letting this get to him fast. " Why even bother talking some sense into me.. I'm the reason he's not coming back! What if… -what .. If Chase does something bad.. What if he trys to commit suicide again!." Jackie studdard hard where to the point he was trembling. Henrik was too. "Don't say that!!! He's gonna come back.. I know he is" "how do you know- Oh don't tell me.. Because your a Doctor.." Jackie said with a whacky voice. "I'm your friend Jackie stop blaming yourself!!" "Okay.. So what.. Chase can just never come back.. We're never gonna see him again!" Henrik looked at Jackie with a face that scared jackie, "ughh stop Jackie! I'm not gonna deal with someone that is gonna keep beating their self down for something that wasn't their fault!" Henrik's accent was sounding strong now. "Well… At least not ..again" Henrik cracked his neck and scratched his head gathering his thoughts. Jackie still looking at him worried."I don't know.. Everything I did was wrong.." Henrik took a deep breath. And grabbed Jackie making him jump. The cup dropped to the ground shattering. "Listen.. Chase was wrong, to leave out mad...You were wrong to tour that photo… And Marvin was wrong to even join in in the fight.. Ands what made it worse…We were all wrong to just watch as chase was defending himself.. We could of stopped him …. But we didn't-" Henrik's eyes grew watery. He only cried when something really was sad to him.. He had a job.. And it seemed like a failed his patients. "Are you okay doc?" Jackie "y-yeh.." He said wiping his tears. "Look it's been a long year.. It's almost Christmas.. We all need to fix our mistakes, Now we need to hope that chase is gonna be okay, ok?" "Yes doc.. I mean. Henrik" Jackie smiled a little. "And don't let Chase tell you anything about love.. You and Marvin are fine together.." Henrik smiled back. Jackie sighed sadly. "Looks like its gonna be a depressing December after all huh?" Jackie Shrugged changing the subject. "I guess.." Henrik was uneasy he couldn't understand why Jackie was so at edge.. He never seen him like that. Maybe it is just the season, But season or not.. Chase was still out there.. And Henrik was gonna find him.
Marvin just came out of the bathroom from doing his business when jackie came jumping in front of him. Marvin almost wet his pants again (lol i make no sense XD) “jackie!?” Marvin screamed. “Heyyyy Marv!” Jackie smiled happily. “You fuckin scared me!” Marvin took a breath. “Geez!” “oops sorry, hey can i talk to you?” Jackie asked. “Ok, it better not be long i gotta help decorate the tree.” Marvin and jackie sat on the couch Anti and jameson were helping decorate the tree.. Mostly jameson, Anti hated to. Robbie was there caring the star which was to heavy for him. “So, what's up?” Marvin quickly asked. “Im very worried about Chase.. I dont think hes coming back.” jackie said. “Well.. I'm sure he will, i mean he's probably not gonna survive out there by himself.” Marvin told him. “I was afraid you'd say that..” Marvin took his hand and placed it on jackie's leg. “Don't overthink it, Chase is smart enough to come back.” “we yelled at him..pretty badly..” Marvin sighed at jackie's comment. “What are we gonna do?” “since i started the fight.. And ripped the picture.. I'll go find him.” “no!” marvin cried. “Don't go out there alone im coming with you..i love you.” Marvin said. “I love you too Marv.. but i think chase was kinda more mad at you.” jackie laughed a little. “Excuse me??” mavin said. “Let me go by myself.” “fine, just take someone with you.” marvin said with a smile. “Ok bye love you.” jackie kissed marvins cheek with marvin blushing. As jackie was leaving he bumped into Robbie. “Ow!!” robbie said falling down. “Hi jackie!” jackie helped him up. “Be careful geez.” “where going?” Robbie asked. “None of your business.” jackie pushed him. “Why?” robbie said. “Huh?” jackie didn't understand what he meant. “But i want come- I mean to- I WANT TO COME” “haha what?” Jackie laughed. “Ughhh i want to come with you!” Robbie shouted trying to sound normal. They both busted out laughing. “Whatever who cares!” Robbie said giggling. “So can i??” “no.” jackie stopped laughing. “Whyyyyyy.” Robbie whined. “It's too dangerous, im sorry but your a kid.” “i'm no kid! I'm a man!” Robbie said putting his hand on his chest. “Who cares what you are i'm going to find chase.” Jackie laughed. “Oh. i miss chase.” robbie said upset. “Dont worry ill bring him back.” jackie got down on his knees and looked at robbie. “Ok.. bye jackie.” robbie hugged him. “Bye robbie make sure to tell the others and make sure to leave an ornament for me to hang on the tree.” “okie buh bye!” robbie waved as jackie got up and went to the kitchen. Jackie was sure that he would find Chase.. He probably was at Stacy’s??? Jackie wasn't sure actually. Jackie bumped in henrik on way while spilling henriks eggnog on his turtleneck sweater. “Jackie! That was a new sweater!” “ow! I keep bumping into people today everyone is so in a rush.” jackie said helping him. “Their not the only ones.. Where you off to?” Henrik said with one eyebrow raised. Jackie sighed and looked up at the doctor. He knew he couldnt get away with it. “I'm gonna try to find Chase..” Jackie finally said. “Oh… well.. I'm sure your not going alone. Are you?” Henrik asked wanting to go with him. Jackie smiled and patted dhenrik on his arm. “Oh doc of course you can come.” Jackie said answering Henriks question. “Oh ok. Let me get my jacket and change.” Henrik said walking away. “Ok i'll clean this up..” jackie rolled his eyes and started to clean the eggnog. ~Time Skip~ “ok lets go. I'll take the car you coming?” Henrik said getting in his car. “HA! I'm a superhero i can fly!” Jackie bragged putting his hoodie on. “Hmm? Ok.” Henrik cranked up his car and began to leave. And jackie just walked. (he couldnt fly XD) ~While on the way.~ “CHASE!! WHERE ARE YOU!” Jackie jumped rock to rock. He ran through the woods trying to find his friend. “Ugh where are you..” ~Meanwhile~ Henrik kept trying as the window was down he looked yelling chases name over and over. “CHASE!!!” Henrik cried. “Come on.. Where are you?” Henrik whispered. “I will find him if i have to search all night.. I will.”(he never did XD) ~Meanwhile, Again.~ “CHAAAAAAAAASE!” jackie yelled in a tree. “Damn it.” jackie sighed. “What have I done... “ ~10 Hours passed~ it was getting dark and the doctor and the superhero still haven't found Chase.. They both called each other to head back to the Septiceye house and continue the search tomorrow. But still somewhere out there Chase was alone..
(Hey guys, when i was Roleplaying this i thought of Chase singing the song Let Me Make You Proud :D so that’s what he does. Ok back to the story.)
Let Me Make You Proud | Music Video | Tangled: The Series
~AFTER HE SINGS~
Chase was determined to get away from everyone as soon as possible, especially marvin and jackie. The wind blew and it felt really nice outside. Not hot or cold. Chase thinked that he wouldn't be able to find somewhere else to go but also..He never had a fight withMarvin and Jackie before that bad.. And chase never felt that made since his last fight with stacy.. He thought Jackie and Marvin were his best friends.. He just didn't wanna think about them right now.. Chase was really mad mostly crushed cause of the words he said to them… it all came back to him. I wish i was dead.. If i kill myself that will get their attention.. I'm done with all of you… Chase clenched his eyes shut a shiver came threw his spine. He soon grew tired of walking. And the winds blew through his hair. He sighed and just looked around to see all the houses. He looked around for somewhere to sit but didn't see any place. He turned around to hear a noise from off the distance. “What the-?” He started to walk over and see. “Who wants ice cream!!” A cheerful voice said. Chase looked to see a man with vibrant blue hair, blue, white, and pink checkered shirt, a blue-and-white soda jerk hat, and a simple white apron. He was pulling an ice cream cart and a sign that said “ get your icecream 50 bucks!’ Chse watched with his hands in his PMA hoodie pockets. The man looked very happy and had a big smile across his face. Chase wonders why no one was showing up? Usually everyone wanted ice cream! Then finally a mom and her little girl showed up. The man looked at them with a smirk showing his teeth.”my names mad mike wanna bite!” He winked at the little girl and her mom. “I GOT SOME ICE CREAM!” he shouted at them. “Mommy momy! I want icecweam!!” The little girl jumped up and down tugging at her moms coat. Chase kept on watching and couldnt believe how much it reminded him of his own little girl. “Okay honey one ice cream please.” “OF COURSE!!!!” Mad mike said. He pulled one out of his ice cream cart. “That will be 50 bucks!” He said handing to the little girl. “What???” the woman told him. “Thats too much i cant afford that!” She looked at him with a mad face. “Oops did i say 50 i mean 500.” He smarted off. “Excuse me??” “FUCK IT IT'S FREE!” He started to give the ice cream to the girl and laughed. The woman looked at him with wide eyes. “Hurry up and eat it honey.. This guy is weird.” she whispered in her daughter's ear. “Okie mommy.” Mad mike looked at her and bit his lip. She gave the icecream a huge lick, and then suddenly her face scrunched up in disgust. “EWWWWWW!!!!! TISth TATHSSS BAD!! The little girl shouted sticking her tongue out. The ice cream dropped to the ground. “It's good for you.. Yummy drugs!” Mad mike said happily. “WHAT!!!!???”” The woman shouted with an angry face. Mad mike got another icecream out the cart. “HERE HAVE ANOTHER!” “NO! I DON'T WANT IT!” The little girl shrieked. As her mom hugged her. “EAT THE ICECREAM YOU LITTLE SHIT!! IT'S GOOD FOR YOU!” He shoved it in her face making it spladder. The little girl started crying loudly “MOMMMYYYY!!!” she shouted. Her moms face grew with anger. “WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE!” The woman got up and slapped him right in the jaw. Mikes face turned red and he rubbed his cheek. Then out of nowhere a man came it looked like the woman's husband. “Leave my wife and daughter alone!” He said angrily at mike. Mike grew of shock and gulped. “S-sir.. Want some ice cream hehe..” He said beginning to walk away. THe man took hold of his apren and cursed in his face. “YOU CAN TAKE THAT ICE CREAM AND SHOVE IT UP YOUR FUCKIN ASS!” He said picking him up. Mad mike didn't say anything instead he nodded very quickly as the man let go dropping him to the ground. “Lets go sweety she picked up her daughter and went with her husband as he stepped on the ice cream his daughter had just dropped. Chase looked at the family in shock. “Thanks babe” The woman kissed her husband. And they all went home with mad faces. Chase looked at them with sad eyes wishing that was him and stacy.. Then he also began to walk away shoving the thought away he quickly walked so that he didn't have to be caught in any business with that guy… when out of nowhere someone grabbed his hat. “What the f-” Chase turned around to see Mad Mike standing in front of him. They both looked in each others wide eyes. And surprisingly they both said at the same time.. “Do I know you?”
(this is where the shit gets real!)
“U-um.. hello..” Chase awkwardly said with his face turning red. ”hmm you look really familiar..“ Mike said squinting his eyes. “You too… “ Chase said with a calm voice. “Hmm?? “ Then mad mike shook his head to clear his mind. “Hi! How ya doin?” he asked taking out an ice cream. “I'm just dying inside now can i have my hat back.” Chase said being rude. “Haha! Aww cheer up! U should have some ice cream!” He said giving it to him. “No thanks..” Chase said disgusted. “But it's free!” Mike kept talking. “Ugh leave me alone! I don't want your damn ice cream.” Chase began to walk away. “Fine….i guess you won't be needing your baseball cap. This looks good on my head!” Chase quickly turned around and tried to grab the hat. “Ugh give it to me!” Mike snatched it away from chase and then he noticed something. “What's wrong with you?” he asked. “U-uh nothing i just had a rough day..” chase told him. “Wowie!” Mike cheerfully said not caring what chase said. “Wait? I swear i know you!” chase looked up and looked at mike. “Who are you?’ chase said with confusion. “The question is who are you?” mike touched his nose. Chase blushed and rubbed his nose. “Really who are you.” mike said laughing. “Oh! My names Chase.” Chase said putting his hands in his pockets. “Last name?” Mike questioned with one eyebrow raised. “Does it matter!” Chase said. “Well i guess not.” Since chase couldt trust Mike cause of their nice little conversation it was clear mike was a nice person.”Chase Brody.” Chase answers. “Hmm? Still doesn't ring a bell.””they ring a bell! Like ding ding ding top of moring! Haha!” Chase said out loud. “WHAT!?” Mike looked up. “W-what i didnt say anything.” Chase awkwardly said. “What did you just say?” Mike repeated. “Nothing.” Chase said being stupid. “Oh ok.” Mike was sure that he knew him but he couldnt place where he saw him from either could chase. Anyway Mike forgot to introduce himself so he gladly did. “My names Mad Mike!” Mike grabbed chases hand and started shaking it while shaking chases whole body. “U-um ok hi Mike.” Chase said stumbling on his feet. “But you do seem like a nice guy.. Accept you look kinda down..what's the matter?” Mike said with his head tilted. “Would you really wanna know.. I mean since we both obviously know each other… I guess i can trust that do wouldn't be rude about it. Chase shrugged looking at Mike who was still dangling chases hat around. Chase watched and then shook his head. “So..um listen so i'm not that good with relationships.. You see my wife left me-” Chase started to say when mike jumped up and interrupted him. “Aww thats so sad..” Chase looked at him. “And well you see i have kids.. And now she wont let me see them.” Chase heard Mike gasp. “You have kids that have been taken away from you.. Me too- well actually my little girl was..” Mike said with a sad voice. “O-oh really what happen im so sorry.. That must of been hard for you..” Chase asked picking at the hairs on his beard. “Well i'm actually angry mostly.. But theres no way shes coming back..” Mike said. Chase gaspd “im so sorry for your loss..” Chase said. “W-what? She's not dead!” Mike said looking up. “Oh sorry.” “you sure say sorry alot.” Mike said being mean. “I know its a bad habit.. I miss her..” Chase said thinking out loud. “Who?” “my wife duh.. Her name was Stacy.. I loved her more than anything and then when she had kids that was the only thing that i cared for so much in the world.. She had a boy and a girl.they loved to play different things with me , i really miss them.. But one day Me and her had a big fight and she told me to leave.. Ill nevr forget the look on my kids faces as i slammed the door and left.. I just heard their cries yelling “please don't leave us daddy..” And now Stacy wont let me see them at all anymore.. I used to on the weekends but.. Now I don't..” Chase explained the whole story of how Stacy completely took away the advantage to see the kids.. And how his drinking problem became even worse. Mike listened to that part and knew chase would love to hear his secret about the ice cream. But As Mike listened his face grew mad and frustrated. “If I were you I would just take the kids and run- but i guess that will be illegal, huh?” Mike shrugged. “I'm not kidnapping my children!” Chase told him. Mike sighed and began to tell his story. “Well my daughters name is Annie i loved her so much.. Don't worry I may look like a psychopath- er-but i really was a good father or that's what I thought.. ..accept when they took her away from me…” Mad mike said looking at the ground. Chase looked down to see him clenching his fists in anger very tightly, he looked really mad.. Chase gulped. “W-whose t-they?..” chase asked scared. “The police… “ mike answered in a quiet voice. “Oh..” chase said. “i - i did a bad thing.. Chase.. “ mike said. Before chase could talk mike quickly shut up and said. “Please don't call the police! - i-i can't go back!” mike grabbed chase by his arm. Chase looked down and then up frightened. “I-i wont… I promise!” chase said very quickly. Mike let go of him. Chase could see the angrez flashing in his bright hazel eyes. Chase was scared now but wanted to trust him because they both were going through these things. “I trust you chase.. We are both fathers and miss our kids.. “ mike said. “Im sorry Annie didn't deserve to be taken away from you.. You deserve so much in your life.” chase said trying to cheer his new friend up. “Yeah but your wife sounds like an asshole! Ugh that's why i hate females-``''pfft yeah… I guess.” chase said in a sad voice. “What did you even do to make the police take her away?” chase asked. But Mike didn't answer he was looking in his ice cream cart. “Wanna see something?” Mike asked pulling out a crate. Chase nodded and realized all that time mike still had his hat in his hands. Mike accedaentilly dropped the crate it seemed heavy, and it opened. Chase's eyes got really wide. Whiskey bottles were inside. “Pick them up! I can't let anyone see this!” Chase jumped and quickly started helping. “Why the fuck do you have drugs in this-are you selling them?” “shhh! Geez- yes i'm trying to get rid of it before the police finds out.” when they picked it up mike showed chase. “You can take a bottle if you want.” Mike winked. Chase looked at the bottles of whiskey and wanted to chug down every last bit of it.. Accept he remembered what Henrik told him that he shouldn't drink.. “U-um no thanks I don't do drugs anymore-” “what!? You quit drinking! And to learn to be happy when we became friends.`` Mike crossed his arms in an attitude. “It's not that I don't like it, it's just that my doctor tol-” “your doctor! Doctors are losers! They just try to get in your head- what should really be getting in your head is the good feeling of being drunk, just fill your mind with empty thoughts, forget about everything.” Mike calmly said in a pleasing voice that made chase want it. He licked his lips as mike lifted it up and drank some. “Ahh thats the good shit!” Mike gulped looking at chase smiling. When they both heard a phone go off. The ringtone was “All The Way” chase jumped up as he heard his own voice. “Wowie is that you singing?” “no! Its my phone ringing.” chase said not getting what mike ment. Chase took out the phone and saw that it was Henrik. He declined and quickly put it away acting like it was something to hide. Mike was trying to peek at who it was- maybe cause he was worried that chase was trying to call the police. “W-whos that??” Mike quickly said worried. “I-its nobody-” “are you trying to call the police!” “what why will I ever do that i'm your friend!!” “Give me your phone!” Mike said. “What? I didn't do anything!?” Mike layed down the hat and the bottle “give me the damn phone!” mike grabbed the phone out of chases pocket and through it “dude what the fuck!!” Chase shouted. Mike picked the hat and bottle back up sniffing. “I'm sorry- i just-..” “no.. its ok Mike..i guess i did the phone anyway- i mean well not know more” chase said. “What's that supposed to mean??” Mike looked at him worried. “I don't know.” “well.. Since i can trust you and were best friends. You have to promise you won't tell anyone ok?” “ok.” “wowie i can't believe I found someone like you- i haven't had a friend like you in ages..” Mike told him. “Yeah.. me too my friends don't care about me no more that's why i left..” “oh-” Mike looked up to hear a noise off in the distance which made him look scared. “Do you hear that?” Mike asked looking around. “No..” chase gulped looking at mike. It was the sound of sirens!! “Oh fuck!!” Mike jumped up . Police cars were coming around the corner. Mike looked at chase, chase saw his scared eyes. “You called the police!!!” Mike's voice sounded fearful. The police cars stopped where they were and two policemen came out with guns. “FREEZE!” One of them said. CHase jumped up and looked at mike they both looked at eachother . There's no way chase was ending up like this. One of the policemen grabbed chase but chase quickly punched one in the mouth. Chase quickly grabbed his hat and grabbed the whiskey out of Mike's hand and stuffed it in his hoodie pocket. “I SAID FREEZE!” The police said starting to run over to Mike. Chase looked at Mike and then sprang out running the other way, “COME BACK HERE!’ Mike shouted. “YOU CAN'T LEAVE ME HERE! The policemen grabbed MIkes arms. “NO!!! I CAN'T GO BACK!!” “NOO!! YOU PROMISED!!! Mike cried “YOU PROMISED YOU WOULDN'T TELL!!” Mike struggled to get free but the policemen were to strong. Mike started crying as one of them got out the handcuffs. “You're gonna go away for a long time.” The policeman said. Mike had tears falling and the anger in his eyes were too much. He pushed and pushed but it was no use. His arms were too weak to push them off. Chases heart was pounding as he ran faster and faster. Looking back to see Mike being handcuffed.. And being forced to be put into the police car, he heard his cries and the look on his face when chase ran.. and now chases heart beating as hard as it could when he heard Mike cry even louder“YOU PROMISED!!” Mike yeled louder and louder still trying to fight them. “AHHHH!!! NOO!!!” Chase heard Mikes pitiful words as he ran Mikes voice grew quieter and quieter as chase went father. And the blue and red light from the police cars were around the corner. What have i done! I'm leaving him- and he was my friend...but he kept on running. And then he tripped over a rock. “Fuck!” He shrieked. HIs hand was bleeding and the sharp pain hurt badly. he heard someone coming It was the other policeman. CHase got up quickly still tripping over his feet and then sprintied off to where he ran as fast as the wind. “STOP!” Chase ran even faster he couldnt believe what had just happened but he wouldn't stop running he wasn't going to jail. He had a family and he had friends.. But the thought of that hurt his heart alot.. Mike had a family too.. Chase hated the fact that he was the bad guy in this Mike was innocent.. As the policeman chased him through the street chase thought of all the ways that he could just say sorry over and over again to everyone that he dissopointed... But it wasn't the time to. The man was getting closer as Chases stomach was aching and his heart. In his mind he pictured Mike trying to get free from the police man's grip but couldnt and he was yelling for chase to come help…. The faster he ran the more he breathed harder. He finally came across a park that was closed for the night. THere was his way to escape! There was a fence there and CHase thought that he could probably lose the the man for now. Since Chase did different stunts when he blogged, he could jump over the fence pretty easily. Chase sped up and got ready to jump as he heard the policeman coming. He then sprang as high as he could and fell on his feet stumbling on the other side into some bushes.cutting his hand even more. As the police ran by chase was relieved that he was free. With a sigh he made sure he was gone for sure. Poor mike didn't deserve to get taken by the police.. And when he broke a promise..he probably will never see Mike again. Chase got up and it turned dark. Chase couldnt take it anymore, he sat on a bench which wasn't comfortable he wished he was at home In his soft bed. “I miss you Henrik..im so..sorry..” he said beginning to fall asleep. “But I don't care anymore.. “ then chase got out the bottle of whiskey and look at it in shame.. “To forget about everything..” chase unscrewed it.. And slowly put it to his mouth. “Im sorry… even 100 sorrys wouldn't be enough for you..huh?” he lifted it up and started to chug it down. To him it was everything he wanted. He truly didn't care anymore.Its like the drugs numbed the pain chase was feeling inside and the physical ones too. Drinking was his only way to forget all of his mistakes and problems, it was like medicine. As he drank even more it was coming to the point where he couldn't sit up. He drank the last sip and blacked out, Hugging his hat, it's like the thought of his family and friends washed away by the drugs. And that day he would never forget Mad mike.. And the words he would never forget will always be..
You promised…
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