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#anyways i love this shot i think it’s hilarious
akechi-if-he-slayed · 5 months
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me when my brain tells me to not be normal about anything im remotely interested in
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gilliganpilled · 3 months
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i can’t explain why but one of the funniest things about jimmy and kim is the fact they have a queen size bed and not a king size bed. jimmy used to sleep on a fold out twin size bed so his standards are pathetically low, and Kim i think doesn’t feel the need to upgrade since she’s practical and jimmy doesn’t care. and it’s just so funny to me because they could easily afford a king size bed but they’re so codependent and focused on everything else they just never bother to upgrade. always sleeping right next to each other on that too-small queen size bed even when they’re fighting
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biillys · 1 year
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STRANGER THINGS 2.02 – trick or treat
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leafy-m · 2 months
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My stupid story is 20k now how I do make it stop 😵
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thisdivorce · 2 years
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you 🤝🏻🤤 me
well written sub!ian.
(also, hey, hello, i love you and that last shifting shadows chapter wrecked me. a bit. but like. in the bestest of ways 🌼🌾)
nosho don’t even get me started! now i have to make a rec list! you’re so right sub!ian is 🤤🤤🤤 and i will hide my flailings in the tags
here are some sub!ian fics i love (some soft, some not so soft):
-freak peak @whatthebodygraspsnot
-when all is said and done @tellmegoodbye
-at attention @squidyyy23
-vacanze romane @mishervellous
-ruined @doodlevich
-conflict of interest - me ajshdhdjd (can i rec my own fic? because i just did!)
-bottom ian fanart (for an art rec) @filorux
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poppyseed799 · 11 months
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Confession that will get me cancelled: I will sometimes reference super mario logan videos cuz I used to watch some. and they were honestly really funny if you ignored the problematic bits.
#I AM SO SORRY EVERYONE. but some of those jokes have stuck with me for years.#UNIRONICALLY THE EPISODES HAD A REALLY GOOD FORMULA. LIKE WTF.#I’m not getting over the episode where they were gonna fail the test but Cody let them copy his test#and then the teacher said ‘you did really great Cody!’ he said ‘I got an A?’ the teacher said ‘yeah on all 3 of them!’#‘YOU IDIOTS COPIED MY N A M E TOO?????’ bro that was hilarious 😭😭😭#also the episode where Junior believed the Sun was a planet. bro. the plot twist that they sent him to the sun not because they believed him#but because they thought a kid stupid enough to believe you could land on the sun deserved to be sent to it 😭😭😭 WTFF#there are some episodes I remembered really liking but I don’t remember why#and as much as I’d like to rewatch them I… don’t think I can……..#I think if I went to rewatch old SML videos I’d be shot#also the journey to find the specific episodes would probably be a disaster#anyways that is my confession. I do not support SML or the problematic things in the episodes I liked.#it was just genuinely really funny and clever sometimes. unfortunately. I only watched it cuz my siblings did. side note all the special ed#kids in highschool loved it and I was confused cuz I was also a special ed kid who had seen it like. how did this ableist bs gain such an#autistic following. I’m telling you it’s because the episode formulas were actually really good. this sucks. I wish it wasn’t so problematic
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t1erradelfuego · 1 year
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please do not read the tags i am being insane at 10pm on a sunday night
#thinking. perhaps even thoughting. thunking.#<- new tag because i am Insane#anyways shipping disease is real etc etc but. i love luke hughes because i also love brandt clarke#and i want to put them together like two barbie dolls !!!#listen LISTEN luke/brandt is like me and two other people in the fucking boat but it's such a good one#it's also completely made up in my head but. well. look.#luke/brandt is the only appealing hughes ship to me! i dont know why!#quinn/elias does not do anything 2 me (quinn/elias/brock DOES but also not a. ccanucks fan)#no jack ship inspires me Enough but he and nico are kind of cute?#but luke and brandt bitch4bitch... oh that's good stuff right there mhmm 100%#it's just. it's the way luke is such a peculiar and funky little guy like of course#he had to go... not fall in love but something to the left and darker than that with the boy he used to beat up during ministicks#also hilarious how they're both dmen! opposite sides too! wow you could put them togeth-[gets shot]#i think soecifically the idea of examining luke and his little guy bitch vibes via brandt i#who is also little guy bitch and them being narrative foils 2 each other when they are Not the same person its like WOW!!!#i want to write (no i dont i want to read actually) about luke and his tenacity when confronted with a bite that's just as bad as his#luke and his youngest brother weight of expectations successful brother vs brandt being the best clarke at hockey in his family#they're around the same point imo in their development curve and its going to be SUCH a battle i know#because they play similar games#and i think brandt heightens luke's competitiveness! and his competitiveness is part of what makes him- HIM!#in conclusion i am going to watch lak vs njd even though i do not like any of these teams in the slightest!
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Hi there, I hope you’re feeling better 🫶🏻🤍
I don’t know if you are taking requests but can you write a one shot where Charles is dating Y/N and she decides to do that tiktok prank where she serves a lot of food on his plate but only serves herself a little bit and she pretends there wasn’t enough food for the both of them? I think it would be hilarious, thank you!
Note: It hasn't been so bad, thank you for asking! Hopefully, you're good too! 🫶 until I say otherwise, my requests are always open and you can send things in anytime you want!
"Charles! Dinner is ready!", you called from the dining table, setting both bowls of pasta down. The one you set for Charles was as full as you could have it, piling the pasta shapes on it like an engineer.
"I'm here, I'm here", he called, encouraging Leo to walk with him and hop onto his bed by your feet, "did you forget your bowl, amour?", he asked once he saw the other bowl which was less than a fourth of the way full.
"Whose bowl do you think this is?", you chuckled.
"Leo's - although I think we should put some more chicken for him so it's not just pasta", Charles said as he was about to get up.
"Oh, that won't be able to happen - we have no more food", you blurted out, "and this my bowl - Leo already had his chicken while I was cooking this, didn't you, buddy?", you cooed, "eat your food, amour, it will get cold".
Charles didn't understand, "you're only eating that? Are you sick? Do you want me to make you something else?", he wondered.
"I thought we had more pasta than we needed, so I gave some to Leo - he thought it was delicious, by the way -, and when I noticed it, this was all we had left", you explained, "but it's fine, I'm not hungry anyway".
Now, the amount of pasta you'd have to have fed Leo to end up in this situation was far bigger than anything you could ever possibly do, so your boyfriend grew suspicious, "love, Leo's tummy is so tiny, he can't eat much, and I can share mine with you, I'm a good boyfriend like tha- oh! This is a prank, isn't it?", Charles groaned.
"I got the idea from Arthur - he sent it to me and said he would like to know what you did!", you hugged Charles, hands going around his neck and stroking his chest while you nuzzled your face on his neck.
"For a minute I was thinking the dog was going to explode - even though you're always the one making sure he's eating right!", Charles chuckled, kissing your hands.
(Thank you for sending this in ✨️)
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pepsiboyy · 23 days
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UNSPOKEN BOND.
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pairing: chris sturniolo x fem!reader summary: where chris and reader are best friends and chris is in a toxic relationship. when reader is fed up with hearing about his frustrations with his girl, she confesses her undying feelings for him since their childhood. warnings: ANGSTTT (resolved), cursing, screaming and crying, use of y/n lol a/n: i love this. SO MUCH. you guys voted angst on the poll <3 enjoy, reblog + comment <33 wc: 3.4k+
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"are you even listening to me?" chris's finger stabbed at my shoulder, and i sighed deeply as i dramatically picked up the remote and paused wall-e on the tv.
"no, chris, i'm trying to watch the movie we agreed to watch tonight." i mumbled and smiled softly at the puzzled expression on chris's face. i leaned over and fixed the loose strands.
all i knew was that chris kept yapping about his girlfriend of about six months now that i dreaded hearing about. she was emotionally draining, to say the least. and if she was for me, i couldn't even begin to imagine how she was with chris.
i had been best friends with chris since about kindergarten.
"hey!"
my head turned as i desperately tried to wipe the sand from my eyes, my tears having a hard time escaping.
the girl who had pushed me to the ground had stepped away.
"jus' cus you're a girl don't mean i won't kick ya!" the boy shouted, stepping closer which made the girl take a few steps back and run in the other direction.
i slowly opened my eyes to the boy, my eyes red as i sniffled and rubbed my elbow that had been scraped.
"you got sand in your eyes?" the boy asked as he kneeled down and brushed some hair from my eyes and behind my ear.
i nodded softly and looked at him for a moment.
"i'm chris." he gave me a dopey, toothy grin and held out his little hand. "what's yours?"
i took in a breath and held out my hand as well, gently placing it in his to shake. "i- it's y/n." i smiled.
chris shot me a smile that i could read through his bright blue eyes as well, but we both quickly whipped our heads around when a teacher was calling out his name, the little girl from before following behind with her arms crossed. "crap," chris mumbled with a deep sigh as he pulled his hands away and stood to his feet.
"christopher, what do you think you're doing, threatening to kick girls?"
"but!!" chris quickly defended.
i watched as he left and smiled to myself, standing up and brushing off my butt from the dirt.
chris always looked out for me ever since. and his brothers did the same as soon as i met them.
around sixth grade, i admitted to myself that i had feelings for chris. it was something i always kept to myself, something i never really spoke on.
something i did tell his triplet brother, nick one day by accident, but played it off as a joke because i didn't know how he felt about it.
"you know, y/n, you and chris bicker about as much as him and i do. it's hilarious."
i smiled at nick and shrugged as i took a sip of my pepsi. "well, i don't know," i mumbled as i set the soda down, "maybe it's just all the time we've spent together."
"or maybe it's because you have a big fat crush on him," nick joked, smiling as he wriggled his eyebrows and nudged my shoulder with his own.
i chuckled and shrugged softly, leaning back and sighing. "well, maybe i do." i admitted and smiled.
nick's entire expression dropped. "wait, excuse me?"
i quickly sat up and waved my hands. "no no, i was joking." i smiled nervously, causing nick to stare at me.
"that tone of yours was... pretty convincing-"
"pfft, me?" i started as i rubbed the back of my head and stared at nick. "as if i could have a crush on chris, that's.. that's insane."
nick stared at me, dumbfounded. "right. you had me there, i guess."
"anyways, what's with you and that one guy in our class?" i questioned, quickly changing the subject.
ever since then i kept it to myself.
the undying fear of rejection and ruining what him and i have - that was enough for me to try and move on.
but i couldn't.
chris and i had reached our senior year of high school, and he was now dating this girl that i watched rip the smile from his expression.
that adorable, dopey smile that made his eyes squint, taking his vision away temporarily.
it tore me apart, watching chris constantly stress about this girl for six months now.
now, i had my fair share of relationships through junior high and high school to try and get over chris. nothing serious, because i couldn't seem to feel anything for any of these people.
it was hard. having a crush on your best friend.
knowing that everything you did together was strictly platonic, and it would always be that way.
the credits began to roll on wall-e, and i let out a strangled yawn with a big stretch.
"alright, i'm gonna head home for the night." chris mumbled, eyes glued to his phone as he stood to his feet.
i stared at him and sighed, nodding. "good seeing you, chris. let's hang out tomorrow?"
chris didn't respond, and instead slipped on his shoes to head out.
as the door shut, i sighed deeply and pressed my face to my palms.
chris was never allowed to spend the night anymore since his new girlfriend. which, i suppose i would feel the same. but it still stung, having some of your greatest memories with one another being ripped away from you both.
"that fuckin' hurts!!"
chris yelled with a soft giggle, his eyes squinting as he groaned dramatically.
"come on chris, it isn't that bad!"
you smiled as your fingers attempted desperately to peel at the rubbery face mask that had stuck to chris's skin.
"it's pulling my sideburns!"
"man up!"
you smiled as you adjusted the band that held up his curly bangs from his forehead before continuing.
you had finally convinced chris to let you do his skincare. you had always wanted to, and it shocked you when he finally said you could.
"fine, but just this once."
hell, i was in love with chris. i was in love with the way his teeth had a small gap in the front, i was in love with the way his eyes creased each time he smiled, i was in love with the way he would hold me each time i was heart broken and i was in love with the way my name fell from his lips each time we saw each other.
"y/n!"
he wrapped his arms tightly around my shoulders as he tugged me into his chest, his nose burying into my hair.
"chris, i saw you yesterday," i chuckled as i hugged his waist.
"i just missed you so much."
i tensed up as i felt a tear roll down my cheek.
this wasn't uncommon, the feeling of guilt and jealousy that washed over me as i reminisced on what we once had. but now.. now it was all about his girl who he liked.
the girl who "stole his heart" he says.
the one who finally made him think, maybe relationships aren't so bad.
but she was singlehandedly ruining him, and i had to watch it happen. i tried to give him the warning, and he didn't really have a valid response.
"what did you think of her?"
chris asked as he removed his jacket and hung it up on the coatrack by the door.
i shrugged as i slumped against the couch and sighed, playing with my fingers.
"y/n?" chris sat beside me and blinked a few times. "you okay?"
"i don't like her, chris."
chris furrowed his eyebrows as he looked me up and down a few times, his expression now puzzled. "what do you mean?"
i sighed as i sat up and looked at chris. "let me get this straight, chris. she tells me she hates my outfit and good thing she doesn't shop where i do, and that at least her clothes flatter her body. she asks me if i had just gotten out of bed and if i'm a hermit, and how you could know someone like me." i stated firmly. chris swallowed. "and you didn't say a word to defend me."
"she was joking, y/n-"
"chris, if i were dating someone and he said even the slightest disrespectful joke to you, i would turn it down immediately. you realize that?" i stared at him in disbelief.
chris nodded softly as he looked down. "i understand. i'm sorry. i won't let it happen again."
that was about a month into their relationship.
i sighed as i closed my eyes and laid down, my eyes closing after i had finished crying.
my phone ringing woke me up at about 1pm.
with my hair in every direction and my eyes lidded, i groggily reached over to grab my phone and read the caller id.
chris🧸
i sighed and pressed the green answer button, pulling the phone to my ear. "hello?" i mumbled, my voice scratchy and deeper as i had yet to speak this morning.
"y/n? are you just waking up?"
i sighed as i sat up and rubbed my forehead. "yeah, doesn't matter. what's up?"
"yeah, sorry. umm. could you come over? i'm kind of.."
i let out a deep sigh as i stood up and threw on a hoodie and sweatpants. "yeah, i'll be right there. is it your dumbass girlfriend again?"
"y/n, i told you not to call her that."
"yeah yeah," i sighed as i headed straight for my door, getting in my car.
matt, chris's other triplet brother was the one to open the door for me. i smiled softly at him, and matt gave me a sad smile as he opened the door wider for me to enter. "good to see you, y/n. i feel like you never come over anymore." matt mumbled.
i gave him a soft nod and a quick side hug after he shut the front door and locked it.
matt returned upstairs to nick's room, i assumed he was helping nick pick out outfits for his next instagram post.
i looked to see chris sitting in the kitchen, his hands in his hair as he kept his elbows against the wooden kitchen table.
i sighed as i walked towards him and set a gentle hand on his shoulder. his breathing was shaky, uneven. "what's wrong, chris?"
"i- i just don't get it.. she's always accusing me of being dishonest, y/n. she thinks i'm hiding stuff from her just because i hang out with you.." chris mumbled as he looked up at me, his eyes puffy and his cheeks stained.
i sighed as i stared at him in disbelief. normally, i would soften up and tell him it isn't his fault. "so did you forget to tell her we were hanging out, or did she just think it was a huge deal?"
"well i- i forgot to tell her but i didn't think it was a big deal!"
"god, chris!" i slammed my hand to my forehead. "isn't her biggest issue with your relationship hanging out with me?" i sighed as i looked at him and quickly shook my head. "she's just overreacting, chris. like she always is."
chris stared at me for a few moments before running a hand through his hair and sighing deeply. "maybe she has a point, i'm just sick of having these fights with her."
i was fed up. it was the same thing every fucking time with these two. and i've had enough of watching my best friend get hurt.
"maybe the problem isn't just her, chris." i stated as i took a deep breath, my expression now one of anger. "maybe the problem is that you aren't seeing what's right in front of you."
chris cocked an eyebrow as he looked up at me. "what..?"
i took a deep breath as i stared at chris and took a step back. "i'm talking about me, chris. about us. ever since you helped me out of that stupid sandbox, we have been attached by the hip." i clenched my fists as i stared at him. "we were inseparable, you were my top priority, and i was yours. but now.. now you have this bitch of a girlfriend who is just ruining you! ruining us!"
chris flinched at my language, but quickly stood up. "don't call her that," he quickly stated, but i cut him off.
"no, chris. she had never liked me. i have never liked her. i'm sick of her!" i felt my face grow hot, my eyes begin to water. "chris, you silence me every time, but you don't see what i see! she's fucking ruining you. every day, i watch your smile die and your emotions crumble!"
i saw chris's eyes avert to the stairs, where i assumed nick and matt stood as they had definitely heard the shouting from nick's room.
"chris, i've been here since day one. our chemistry is unbreakable. or it was. until she came along." i stared at chris, who was now taking steps towards me.
"y/n, please don't cry-" he reached forward to pull me into an embrace, but i quickly stepped back.
"no, chris. i will cry. because i've been hopelessly in love with you for years and years now. and you have yet to see it, or do anything to defend it. and that's okay." i smiled sadly at chris, who stood in shock. "i always thought that i feared rejection or losing you. but with her in your life.. you've already left." i smiled sadly at chris.
chris stood still, his eyes glued to me. he had nothing to say. and that was fine.
i sighed and looked down, rubbing my eyes. "forget it." i mumbled as i turned on my heel, meeting eyes with nick and matt.
they both shared the same sad expression as they watched me.
i shot them a soft, sad smile before heading to the door and leaving, shutting it behind me.
four days. it had been four days since the incident.
i hadn't heard from chris at all, and i didn't expect to. i did hear from nick and matt a bit, both of them reaching out to ask how i'm doing. nick asked a few more times than matt did, offering to bring me food. i politely declined, but thanked him nonetheless.
i was bedridden the last few days. my eyes glued to the ceiling, prominent dark circles beneath them. my hands continued to pick at the skin on the edges of my nails, something chris would always stop me from doing.
"hey, why are you doing that?"
i turned to chris, who had an arm around my shoulders and a faint smile on his face. his hand reached to pull my hands apart.
"you're tampering with your pretty fingers, y/n. pick at mine instead."
he would offer, but i would tell him no after a soft laugh.
i turned to my window and frowned at the soft pitter patter that clashed with the glass, my chest rising a bit more in a deep breath before i sat up.
i went to my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.
i'm a fucking wreck.
i think i'd rather crawl into a hidey hole and never leave than have the public eye see me like this.
i ran the water in the sink and let my hand run beneath it before allowing my fingers to glide through my hair, gently brushing through it with my fingers.
i then went to my kitchen to find something to eat, but narrowed my eyes when seeing nothing but yogurts and an apple sitting inside.
with a deep sigh, i took a yogurt and peeled it opened, digging through the drawer to grab a spoon.
i laid against the couch and sighed as i stared at the ceiling, mindlessly eating yogurt.
strawberry flavored yogurt.
"why is this one green?"
i giggled as i held up the green strawberry to chris's face, biting my lip to suppress a laugh. "it's almost as big as your nose."
"hey!" chris clasped his hands over his nose, his face growing red. "don't even say that," he giggled as he flicked my forehead.
"ow! what'd you flick me for!"
chris simply let out a cheeky giggle and began running in the opposite direction, shamelessly apologizing to the few people he had bumped into.
i smiled at him from afar, admiring the way his silky hair bounced with each stride he took away from me before continuing to pick at the strawberries.
ding dong.
my body jolted at the loud sound as i lifted my head and sighed loudly. "coming!!" i yelled, wrapping a blanket around my pajamas and fixing my hair as i went to the door and turned the handle, opening it quickly. "hello?"
my eyes widened and my face fell.
christopher sturniolo, standing at my doorstep with soaking wet hair and shaky breaths, his hands grasping his belongings that were slightly dampened from the rain.
"chris? what are you doing here?" i asked, my voice just above a whisper.
"please, can we please talk?" chris asked, his voice sounding just as broken as mine.
i pulled the door opened further and let him in, mentally thanking him for stomping his shoes on the mat outside before trailing his feet indoors.
"take a seat, do you want a towel?" i asked him, carefully stepping inside and looking at him.
chris shot me a soft smile and nodded. "that'd be awesome, actually.. thanks.." he mumbled, standing awkwardly beside the couch. he didn't want to get it wet.
i ran to the hallway closet and grabbed a towel, smiling softly as i handed it back to him.
he thanked me and pulled it onto his head, drying his hair and face with a soft sigh.
we stood awkwardly for a few moments before we each spoke up.
"chris-"
"y/n-"
we both chuckled.
chris stared at me with a look i hadn't really seen before. well, not in a while.
"i broke up with her." chris stated.
i blinked a few times as i looked at him, slightly confused. "what? how come?"
chris stared at me, dumbfounded. "you were absolutely right. and i don't know why i let her stick around for so long." chris whispered.
i nodded as i stared as him, gently taking a seat beside him on the couch.
"what you said to me the other day, i-"
"it's okay if you don't feel the same chris." i gently set a hand on his shoulder.
"i just- i got frustrated, i accidentally opened up to something i shouldn't have, and i just don't want to ruin our friendship or what we have, or upset you, but if you don't feel the same, it's okay, i just-"
i rambled. and i was cut off.
by the feeling of chris's lips against mine.
the most gentle kiss known to man, his hand against my jaw as he closed his eyes. his bangs tickled the bridge of my nose as he tilted his head and pulled away.
"and i thought i talked too much," chris whispered, his face a bright shade of red as he smiled at me.
i stared at him in shock. "chris-"
"i'm sorry i was too stupid to realize that you've been the one for me since that day in kindergarten when that bitch shoved you in the sand."
i chuckled and gently pulled him into a tight hug, my eyes closing.
"thank you so much, chris.." i whispered.
chris hugged me back, his arms wrapping around my waist. "what're you thankin' me for?" he questioned, his hand gently rubbing my back.
i sighed and took in his scent, nuzzling into him and letting out a deep sigh.
"just... for bein' here. and the best."
chris chuckled softly against my shoulder and rubbed my back.
"thank you, y/n." chris whispered as he pulled away.
i looked at him and gently stroked his cheek. "what for?"
"for helping me realize that i've been missing out." chris whispered, pressing his forehead to mine and closing his eyes.
i smiled and sighed softly.
for years and years, chris and i had an unspoken bond. but it was spoken of as soon as it began to fade away. and now i think that bond will remain stronger than it ever was.
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taglist;; @sturnioloshacker @nickgetsmewetter (will add more once my poll finishes T_T)
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a-hazbin-reader · 4 months
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Hello!! I just loooooove how you write Alastor, this unhinged bastard 😂 anyway can I request Alastor with a lesbian, chaotic reader, who's always drooling over women (especially Alastor's friends)(read: Rosie). Toooootally not self-indulgent. Obv platonic pls!! Thank you in advance 🙇
- 🥀
Omg I love this SO MUCH
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Alastor X Reader Headcanons
❌️Romantic
✅️Platonic
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TW: TERRIBLE TREATMENT OF READER, reader being funny af, idk who is more unhinged, slight Mimzy X Reader, slight Rosie X Reader
Description: ☝️⬆️
First of all, he's gonna be your wingman NOT because he wants to help but because it's funny when you fail
Encourages your chaotic nature and uses it to his advantage, will not let you be caged
Someone beneath him wants to pick a fight with him??? Oh he'll give them a fight
*sets down an oversized pet carrier*
*feral animal sounds and vicious shaking*
Alastor opens the door and lets you wreak havoc on them, it's just too hilarious
All metaphorically of course
😳
They get you a toddler leash because you're always scampering off straight into trouble???
Alastor cuts it the first day Vaggie takes you out
*massive destructive explosive sounds in the distance*
"What the FUCK, ALASTOR!?"
Alastor: 😏
You're his favorite feral little ball of chaos
BACK TO BEING YOUR WINGMAN
It's amusing how quickly you change gears when it comes other women and how they enthrall you
He often gives you a handkerchief to clean up your drool, pushes your mouth shut when it's hanging open and grabs the back of your clothes to keep you upright
He does look out for you though
If Mimzy is currently in your sights then he won't let her take advantage of your attraction towards her
That greedy little thing will take you for every dime all while she flirts and toys with you
If you're feasting your eyes any of the overlords(*cough*Carmilla-*cough*Missi-*cough*Velvet-*cough*) then he'll straight up tell you no
Not him bonking your head sweetly with his staff before pushing you out of harm's way
Rosie is an exception tho
He knows she can fend you off herself if she really wants to but also that she won't really do any harm to you
Not that you're not very charming
Rosie just thinks you're adorable!! All the eager attention you're giving her! She could just eat you up!
No seriously...she could...you would taste sweet
No you're sweet
You're making her blush
And you're making her hungry
"Okay, time to go!"
So Alastor sticks around and looks out for you in those moments but he also thinks it's hilarious when you shoot your shot
Feeds you terrible pick up lines and almost dies of laughter when you actually use them
"Hey! Tie your shoes!! I don't want you falling for anyone else~"
"She actually went with that one?!"
Will properly fix your hair or clothes up before you go out on a date, he can't have you looking shabby
If you ask him for advice then he actually has some really good ideas for romance
It's just difficult to get him to give you a honest answer because it's so funny when you fumble a bad bitch
Actually, he does try to set you up with women he thinks could be good for you
"Fascinating, but have you met my good pal Y/N yet? She is QUITE a character!"
Alastor is your partner in crime and you're wingman but he's pretty terrible at both
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Gah!! I hope you liked this one!! I wanted to really get the little gremlin vibes!!
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thalfbloodloser · 1 month
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i wish we had alloaro representation in media. a charming character who fucks - both literally AND aesthetically. one that makes other characters go "wow! they're so cool and good in bed, but ultimately un-datable, because as soon as they sense any romantic intention on you, they flee" (kinda like lucifer morningstar from "lucifer". he's aroallo in my heart)
a character who's funny and has a horrifyingly 80's sense of fashion (they have a curly combed-out mullet and mismatched earrings. you'll find them at pride wearing a corn costume because it "matches the aroallo flag" and they're "being subtle") or one who's the embodiment of a 60's greaser (their motorcycle helmet is themed after the aro flag and the back of their leather jacket says "LOVELESS / LOVE LOSES") or one who's a girly fanfiction writer that has more ships than a star wars movie (their fics are muntifandom-ly famous and most their stuff is covered in yaoi/yuri patches and stickers. everyone thinks they're a hopeless romantic because of it, but that's exactly why they're so big on the fiction ≠ reality discourse) or...
anyone else, really. just ultimately a HUMAN who's casually aromantic. one who doesn't make it a parade but isn't subtle about it, either. will they hold other character's hands? maybe. kiss their cheek? perhaps. hang out with them, on picnics and walks along the river? can't see why not! but platonically. or maybe have them be genuinely romance-repulsed & not so eager to participate in anything socially perceived as romantic. that would also be amazing.
let them express themselves sexually! let them fuck. give them a..."fuckbuddy", if you must. or a best friend who's sexually involved with them - classic romcom material, i know - but without it being "complicated"; because there's no romance involved to complicate it.
give them funny scenes. another character tries to kiss their lips or ask them on a date? they laugh nervously, the scene cuts and we get a hilarious shot of them escaping through the bathroom window. or audibly saying "ew" and then regretting it. another character is struggling to write a romcom/romance book without it being corny? we get a scene where our character casually describes the most romantical (and, to them, unappealing) plot ever - because, much like aces acing the smut department, they're far from misunderstanding what is or isn't heartstopping for alloromantics - only to have the other character stare at them like "?????????? HELLO????". give us a scene of them being confused as to why their hookup is yelling at them for acting "so casual" and responding with a quotable shitty line ("just because we had sex last night i can't call you "bro"? / "what? expected me to marry you or something? get off my bed, it's 9AM" / "would you rather have me mad? sad? what's happening here. give me a hint")
but give them complicated scenes too. scenes portraying the loneliness that comes with being aromantic but not asexual, the lack of community. them talking about how hard it is to maintain sexual relationships just sexual. the painful "breakups" because one of their friends declared their undying love for them but they cannot possibly match that energy, even if they wanted to. have them weep because somehow that keeps happening. the unfairness in being accused of heartlessness and selfishness by other queers. the shame on being told they're fetishistic and the reason why queer men/women/people are seen as sex-crazed or impure.
...anyways, i'm rambling- do y'all have any aroallo ocs? or ideas for alloaro characters? maybe aroallo headcanons? i'd love to know what you think! :)
(don't tag as #ace / #asexual / #asexuality)
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reginnaofallwaters · 1 month
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☆ HONKAI STAR RAIL
duckin' (boothill x gn!reader)
tw: none
additional: hint of forbidden love, a lot of censored cursing tbh
a/n: i'll proofread this when i wake up lol. i just had an idea and i needed to do word vomit before i forget all of it <//3 anyway hi :)
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A relationship between human and cyborg.. How did that even work?
That was the question you always heard when the people of your planet met your boyfriend.
Granted, cyborgs were, in a way, still human. Not completely for sure, but still human. They had human feelings, human desires, human minds. It just so happened they had a body of steel and metal. There was no denying, however, that cyborgs felt.. a little inhuman sometimes. Their bodies was one such example, the steel often glinting underneath the light. Often times, they had.. "unique" features that weren't present in normal humans. Some had retractable arms, extended legs, and even extended—
Let's not go there.
Point is— cyborgs weren't quite human. Their unique features would make regular humans fear them. But, hey, this was the whole damn universe, of course there'll be the occasional weirdo or two with the sheer amount of planets that littered the whole, wide galaxy (I mean, Planet Screwllum literally exists), but that's to be expected.
Anyway, where were we? Right. Unique features.
For one, your boyfriend, a cyborg named Boothill, had this fun, little tech embedded in him called the Synesthesia Beacon. It was a translator device that allowed one's thoughts and consciousness into a language the receiver could understand. In this case— you.
Oh, and it was so, so hilarious.
And it also just happened that someone tinkered with his Synesthesia Beacon (Aeons knew who but a part of you thanks them for it). As thus, any fun curse words he wished to say were basically censored.
"That fudging idiot!" Boothill hissed lowly under his breath. "Can't forking believe that someone messed around with my Synesthesia Beacon. How the heck did they manage to do that anyway?"
You bit back a laugh and attempted for a gentle smile to hide your smirk. That obviously failed with the way Boothill shot you a warning glare.
"Ya sure ya weren't behind this, darlin'?" He plopped himself onto the seat next to you, cold, mechanical arms immediately wrapping around your waist like it belonged there. The thought made you a little happy. Just a little, of course. "Maybe ya did this to mess with me, hm?"
"I would never," you retorted with a chuckle. "I can't even trust myself with tinkering with elaborate machinery or whatnot, what made you think I'd have the balls to mess yours up?"
"Hah. Fair enough," he replied. "Still. Look at me. I sound like a character from those duckin' kid shows."
Boothill's face contorted, an unpleasant sneer forming on his lips at the realization that a simple 'damn' got censored too. God, that expression was hilarious.
"Pfft—" You really, really couldn't hold it back for much longer— "Duckin', huh?"
"Sweetheart, ya know I love ya, so spare me the laughin' and just don't for the love of frills— The fork?! Frills? Frills? Are you friggin kiddin' me right now? That friggin' son of a birch, I swear."
You laughed silently as he continued to rant on (Read: Attempt to cuss) with no end. You shifted in your place to face him, gently removing his grip on your waist. Once you've faced him, you gently cupped his cheeks, eyebrow raised.
Boothill stopped.
You always had that effect on him. One simple touch was all it took to rid him of all of his anger. It didn't matter whatever shit he was worrying about, the moment you touched him with a knowing glint in your eye, he immediately went quiet each time. His shoulders relaxed, obsidian eyes softening, and the deep frown on his face easing into a neutral line.
"You calmed down much more quicker this time," you hummed, thumb gently tracing his cheek. "Color me surprised."
"Duh, because it's ya, sweetheart," he murmured in reply, nuzzling further into your touch. "Don't know how ya do it, but ya always make me feel calm. I like it."
You didn't reply this time, your other hand reaching out to remove the hat atop of Boothill's head and placing it aside. Your fingers threaded itselves through his long, black and white locks, brushing aside the occasional tangle. His hair wasn't soft and perfect by any means but.. you didn't mind.
You still recalled the way your friends and family were.. rather concerned for you once they learned of your relationship with Boothill. In your planet, cyborgs, mechanical, and inorganic life forms weren't exactly welcome. It was taboo to even interact with one. Yet, you went ahead and got yourself a cyborg boyfriend anyway. Of course, they would be concerned.
Putting his whole "cyborg" origin aside, Boothill's personality and position as a Galaxy Ranger was something to.. definitely worry about. Galaxy Rangers were known for being lone travellers throughout the universe. Rarely do they travel in groups unless subduing an evil that a Ranger couldn't deal on their own. Wouldn't you be just abandoned? Be neglected? Those were the words of your loved ones.
Boothill wasn't like that in the slightest. Despite his outgoing and unrestrained personality, he made sure to never leave you alone for too long. Made you sure were happy first and foremost. Wasn't that enough? Wasn't him doing his best enough?
As you gaze into his eyes, you smiled again.
Yes. It was definitely enough.
"I love you," you said.
"I love you too, sweetheart," he said in turn. "Too duckin' much."
"..Pfft. Duckin'."
"I take it back. I don't love ya anymore."
"Hey!"
So, how did a relationship between a human and a cyborg work?
You don't know. It just did. To your planet, it was a taboo. To you, it felt right. It didn't matter to you one bit. In the end, Boothill being a cyborg did not matter.
And wasn't the most important thing here was love? You love him. He loves you.
That alone was enough.
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volklana · 2 months
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My Woman. My Woman. My Wife.
Title comes from this song:
Request: All the sihtric fics😭 just fluff…mingled with angst. I just know he’s the most attentive lover ever. Always bringing flowers, making you laugh(bc his one liners are hilarious), sharing his furs with you… but I know he must have a temper. And he’s always gone away for so long. Poor rat boy probably thinks he’d be a terrible husband because of how often he’s gone for long periods of time. But he’s not😭 he’s the best husband ever. Anyway I got carried away, just all the sihtric things
@canyonmoon-2 I really hope I did your idea justice xx
Warnings: Details the loss of a baby and the grief in the aftermath of that loss. If that isn't for you, or it's too traumatic please don't read, protect your peace and you can catch me next time xx
Not proof read but mistakes will be corrected in time.
Requests are open:
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The ride back to Winchester seemed to be taking longer the closer he actually got to the city.
He was beginning to feel lightheaded with dizziness at the thought of seeing you again.
Sihtric was besotted with you, had been from the moment he laid eyes on you, catching your eye across the square, hauling your cart of produce to sell at the market.
At first he was too shy to even look you in your eye as he paid for apples he didn’t even need, but as soon as your fingers accidentally brushed, he couldn’t help but delight in the shy smile that you shot his way, as you wished him to have a good day. 
He couldn’t help but offer to escort you to your homestead that night, he had claimed it was to keep you safe but instead it was to steal a few more moments with you, you had walked in easy silence until you suddenly stopped and turned to face him.
“You haven’t told me your name.” you giggled and Sihtric’s face lit up “You’re walking me all this way and I don’t even know your name.”
“You would let a man you don’t know walk you home and you never even thought to ask his name. A pagan man at that. What would your nailed god say?”
“I know you are one of Uhtred’s men,” you considered.
“And that is the only reason you would allow me to accompany you?” Sihtric teased.
“That is the main reason, but I do have others,” you teased back.
“And what would those other reasons be lady?” he quirked his head to examine your face and you smiled, that gorgeous smile his way again.
“Perhaps we should start with your name first,” you giggled and goddamn it Sihtric wanted to get down on his knee right then and there for you, “I am Sihtric, lady,” he smiled, suddenly shy and you considered him for a moment, “I am y/n.” 
And so that became your weekly routine, Sihtric would walk you home from the market and you would chat easily. He would linger awkwardly outside your home, neither one of you wanting to say goodbye until the day when he got a sudden surge of confidence, Thor knows from where and sprung forward to press his lips against yours. You absolutely melted into his touch and giggled when he pulled away, his whole face lighting up with a smile, “I have been waiting weeks for you to do that Sihtric,” you giggled and for good measure he kissed you again.
“Sihtric, you barely know her,” Uhtred warned.
“I know enough lord,” he uttered shyly and Gisela considered him gently.
“You love her,” she eased after a while and Sihtric’s face broke out in a smile again.
“And she loves me. She tells me all the time,” he rushed before his cheeks lit up crimson with embarrassment, and Gisela couldn’t help her amused smile. 
She reached a hand to Uhtred who frowned her way at first, a silent conversation happening between their eyes.
“Very well Sihtric, you may marry your lady,” he sighed but Sihtric had already taken to running.
“Thank you. Thank you lord,” he shouted over his shoulder and he was away to find you scooping you into his arms, peppering kisses to any part of your skin he could reach.
Sihtric was the most attentive man you had ever known. He loved you in ways you hadn’t even known possible. There was not a single moment you were together that his hands were not on yours. You joked that he should climb inside you and live in your skeleton more than once, but you had a feeling that he would’ve if he could. Opting instead to be inside you in the only way he could, as many times a day as you would allow, and you would never refuse him.
Nobody had ever loved Sihtric, no one had ever been tender with him. No one had ever shown him that he was worthy of beautiful things and you vowed to spend every day of your life proving to him that he did. 
Gentle hands traced scars and kissed the parts of his skin that had been broken by his father’s cruelty and sometimes the feeling was so intense for Sihtric he could barely bring himself to look you in the eye.
“What is it love?” you murmured pressing kisses to his his worried brow.
“I have to go away with Uhtred again.” 
“To battle?” you asked gently, caressing his face.
“To battle,” he confirmed.
“Sihtric, you love being a warrior. What is this about?” 
“I don’t want to be without you. To go back to how it felt before I knew you. The darkness…”
“I will be here waiting for you. Right here,” you took his hand and placed it over your chest, “Feel my heart, know it is real and it belongs to you. I will be here, loving you.” 
Sihtric surged forward and pressed his lips to your needily, feeling reassured that his woman would be waiting for him.
You had built a wonderful life together with Sihtric, and you were happier than you had been in your life, but Sihtric struggled with leaving you every time.
He was weary from the ride but the thought of you pressed him forward. 
As soon as he and Finan dismounted, Finan urged him to come for a drink in the alehouse but Sihtric was furiously shaking his head and excitedly told him he was away to find his wife. 
He burst through the door of your home, flowers in hand, calling your name but the smile slipped from his face when instead of being greeted by the sight of his wife, he was instead greeted by Hild.
“Where is she Hild?” he almost shrieked, panic coursing through him, making it hard to breathe.
Hild squeezed his arm gently and as reassuringly as she could, but her face was grave, and she led him through to the bedroom, where Sihtric collapsed down to his knees by your side, the sight of your deathly pale skin and gaunt face, enough to send him into a spiral.
“What is it? My love? My Life?” he was begging, stroking your hair, he wanted to pull away from the coldness of your skin. You were always warm, his warmth his sunshine. 
“It was a little boy,” you whispered weakly “We had a baby boy, Sihtric.” 
His head was reeling, he hadn’t even known you were pregnant before he left, nor had you.
“I couldn’t keep him,” you suddenly cried, giant sobs wracking your weak body, “I lost him. I lost him.” you were hysterical and all Sihtric could do was crush him to you and wrap you up in his arms.  
Sihtric held you, letting you cry on him until you had no tears left, repeating that he was sorry, he was so sorry, and none of this was your fault, and when your eyes finally slipped closed he allowed his own tears to fall. 
Hild took him into her embrace when he finally re emerged from the bedroom, and they made their way outside, where under the shade of a leafy oak, he found the small arrangement of burial stones, that he threw himself upon and wept.
“She insisted we honour your traditions,” Hild finally broke the silence. “I had Gisela’s help, but she arranged the stones herself, nearly killed herself in the process.”
“Will she live?” he finally mustered the strength to beg.
“She is very weak, and if god..if the gods are good, she will live,” Hild reassured 
“She has to,” Sihtric whispered “Or you may as well place me here with my boy.” 
You regained your strength over the next few weeks, slowly and with the help of Hild and Sihtric. Sihtric never left your side, fetching you food, bringing you extra furs to keep you warm and at night, he pulled you as physically close as possible, lamenting the loss of your warmth, for now you always felt cold to him.
But soon you were back on your feet again, well enough to walk, well enough to have Gisela and Uhtred over for dinner and well enough to make love to Sihtric for the first time in weeks since he had got home. 
Sihtric was wound tighter than a leash the past few days, his face constantly pulled into a frown lately, and no matter how much you tried you could not seem to pull him from the depths.
“What have I told you?” he snapped suddenly, and you lowered your gaze to the floor, “You are my woman, there is no need for you to do these jobs anymore. I will do it!” he snapped.
You had been attempting to help him ready his horse, as you had done a million times, lifting his heavy saddle bag up to attach to his saddle.
You watched him silently as he roughly threw his things together. You were rarely on the receiving end of Sihtric’s temper but lately you seemed to be finding yourself under it more and more. 
He made to mount his horse and you couldn’t help the phrase that fell from your lips.
“You blame me for his loss?” you stated but it was more like a question.
Sihtric stilled all action, but he did not turn to face you.
“That is why you cannot speak to me with tenderness these days. Is it not?” your voice was small and you fiddled with a thread on your sleeve.
“If you cannot love me anymore. If I cannot make you happy, then I set you free. I told you the night we first made love that you deserved to be happy, and If I cannot do that for you, I set you free. I set you free because I love you more than anything on this earth and I cannot bear you to be this unhappy” 
“How can you still love me?” he snarled, turning to face you, wild eyed.
“I was not here. I left you alone. I left you to endure his loss alone,” he was clawing at the skin on his left forearm, leaving fresh nail marks, an old habit from when Kjartan would lock him in the cellar, knowing a beating or some other form of humiliation was coming his way. If he hurt himself first, the next hurt would never be as bad. 
“Set me free because you would be better off without my weight around your neck. Set me free so you may find a man who can love you the way you deserve. A man who will never leave you alone another second of his life. But do not dare set me free because you love me. I do not deserve your love, not now and I certainly never did.” 
You reached for him, but he pulled his arm from your grasp, your head reeling from his lack of tenderness.
“If you leave me now Sihtric, in this moment here, that will be the only time you will have abandoned me. The only time you will have left me when I really needed you.” 
Sihtric looked at you conflicted, two mismatched eyes trying to frantically find the right thing to say.
“I can’t forgive myself,” he finally mumbled “And to think you could ever believe that I blame you for his loss. There is only one person at fault here and that is me. Because I cannot promise that I will never leave you alone again.”
“I knew who you were when I agreed to marry you. I knew you then, as I know you now and I know for every time you leave me you will always return.” He finally allowed himself to be pulled into your arms, and you tutted at the unmistakable scratches on his arm, he had been hurting himself for a while. 
“Oh my love,” you cried “All this time I have thought you were blaming me, but you have been burdening yourself with the blame of this loss.”
Sihtric nodded in your arms and you traced your thumb across the scar on his face, before placing a gentle kiss to his lips. 
“Neither of us are to blame my love, the gods were cruel.” he nodded in your hands finally allowing his eyes to soften, boring into yours and when he looked at you this way, you could always see the small, skinny boy who only ever knew hurt, fear and humiliation but never love. 
“Talk never of setting me free again my love,” he begged, closing the distance to lean his forehead against yours “My place, my only place is here by your side. My woman. My woman. My wife.”
Tagging: @canyonmoon-2 @sihtricfedaraaahvicius @whitedarkmoonflower @shamrockqueen thenameswinter99 foxyanon
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winterarmyy · 9 months
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Imagine a like avenger!Bucky x shape shifter! Reader.
It could be enemies to lovers smut too because why not?
The reader is the beast boy but a girl version...you can make them green
I don't see skin color 🙄(I'm joking,I'm black)
What if you make the reader green it could be like Bucky's in his room and he hears crying so he follows the sound to find y/n crying because she messed up on a mission and some agents said mean things idk and he is trying to comfort her and then they kiss and then more idk
Then, if she isn't green it could be .....sex pollen...she gets hit with sex pollen while on a mission and comes back...well you know worked up? She's in pain and even those Bucky "hates her" he also wants to help her so he..how do I say this.. he fucks her brains out.
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I'm Not Like Her
Y/N had her heart broken when some agents made fun of how her body look and Bucky came in clutch with the rescue.
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Note: I'm not even open for asks but your brilliant mind just spark something in me! Plus, i see you a lot in my comments so here you are... and the pic is hilarious btw 🤣
Pairing: avenger!bucky x shape shifter!reader
Words: 1.5k++
Warnings: mild enemies to lovers, hint fat shaming, angst, bucky likes to tease the reader but not too much, fluff, cause he secretly loves her, allusion to smut??? and sam just being himself.
Idea explanation: personally i don't think i'm qualified enough to write about being discriminate against for skin color. I need more research of it.
BUT, physically, i am on the curvy side. I don't have a flat stomach, my thighs are bigger than they supposed to. cause i'm fucking 4'11 (so i look fat for my height). And i know what it feels like when people comment abt that.
Soooooo instead of turning green, imagine that the reader doesn't have the fit and perfect model-like body like other agents. Her powers? She can shape shift into any living being (person/animals/aliens) for a short amount of time, like 3-7mins.
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Bucky Barnes is a bully. He'd do anything to annoy the shit out of Y/N. Everything he does just ticked her off, you name it; hair pulling, cheeks pinching, mean little jokes about how Y/N would suffocate him to death if she ever sit on him.
Bucky Barnes acts exactly like a mean teenage boy who bullies the person he likes. But she doesn't know that, does she?
What she knew was he is a menace that loves to see her bright red, in embrassment and anger. What she knew was he likes to dig into her skin and ripped her heart out from how vexingly mean he is with her.
But, he was never cruel. No. He is the sweetest a man can be when he wants to. She still remembered those days he would drop off bunch of her favorite snacks and sweets during that week she was hospitalized from a rough mission.
Don't get her wrong though, he still teases her A LOT during those visits but it was sweet of him to come by and cheer her up.
But if he wasn't cruel. Then, why was she on the verge of tears?
Y/N stood alone in the kitchen, her hands strongly gripped onto the edges of the counter like she would shatter it with her bare hands. At time like this, she wished nothing more than just to shift into a bird and fly away.
Just so far away that no will able to catch her.
But those agents certainly did shot a bullet through the thickness of her gut when they said those words.
Y/N was just going to grab a cold drink after her sparring with Bucky, when she heard their vile whispers. She stopped at her tracks and hid behind the wall the moment she heard her name was mentioned.
"I don't understand why we keep her around. Did you see her panting for air from a quick sparring with Barnes? And doesn't she sound like a pig?" He sneered.
"We keep y/n around cause she has powers you, dumbass. Why are you being mean anyway, didn't you guys had a thing like 2 weeks ago?" The other voice said.
"It was a prank. Didn't think she'd believe it. Me dating her? Please. Not in any universe." He trailed, "Though if she shift into Natasha, then maybe I'll consider fucking her." Y/N could hear his smirk even from the block of the walls.
The other man laughed as if it was funny, "But it only lasts so long though? What if she turn back into herself when you have your cock inside her?"
The man gagged and said, "Ewww please stop. That's just fucking disgusting."
And when they left the kitchen, Y/N aimlessly went to the area. What was she gonna do just now? Oh, get some cold water. But why won't her hands move? They've been digging into the hard surface of the counter for how long now? If she goes any harder, her fingers would bleed. And why's her vision was blurry? Why there's wetness on her cheeks?
She didn't even notice that she was crying, beause she was so focused on fixing her own broken heart. And even if her pride was left to almost nothing, but she held on. She chose hold on to it for as long as could. Cause deep down she knew they were right.
No one's gonna love her for who she is, they will always be blinded by the flaw of her body and not see the pure of her heart. And if that is the ugly truth she had to face, then she chose to love herself. To be proud of herself.
But it is so hard does it? How can you love yourself when no one else is willing to love you?
"Doll?" Bucky's voice was soft when he called her that she didn't even heard him the first time around.
When Bucky heard sounds of someone sniffling, he knew that someone was crying. So he followed the hiccups of voice to the kitchen. But he didn't expect the culprit would be Y/N.
He almost rushed to her when she continued to sob, "Hey hey hey, what's wrong sweets? Did you hurt yourself?" He briefly cupped the softness of her cheeks before slightly holding up her hands to see if there's any cut from it.
When he noticed that there weren't any physical injuries, the tense of his muscles relaxed just a little bit. His big hands went to reach her face again, and gently wiped her tears away. He was so tender with his hold but his tone was far from it, "Who did this to you?"
And she told him exactly what happened. Even with hiccups in between her ranting breath. He listened. He listened to every single word she had to say, not cutting into her confession, not even once. And Y/N didn't know why she told him that. He supposed to be the last person she complained to about her look, about her weakness, about her flaws.
Bucky Barnes, the same one that loves to tease her about it all. He wasn't supposed to hear the dooms of her heart. But, he was. He was listening to her.
And he was seeing red.
Bucky had never felt rage this powerful in his life, he swore that if he let it consume him, the tower would be painted with blood. But, he held back. For her.
Because she needed someone to be there for her. And Bucky felt he was the luckiest to be that person.
"I'm not like her." She whispered tiredly. "I'm not like her, Bucky. I'm not attractive like Natasha or pretty like Zendaya or even Steve at that matter, like he has such tiny waist for his built, and he's a fucking man!!" She ranted every minor things that bothered her to him.
Bucky thought of his words for a while and simply said, "Yes, you're not like Natasha, or Zendaya, or Steve..." he chuckled at the end, "...But that's the best bits about you, doll." There was this flare in his eyes that Y/N couldn't wrap her finger around it.
"Are you making fun of me, right now?" She glared in between the tears in her eyes.
"No, I'm only telling you the truth." Bucky tucked her hair as he continued, "So what if you're not like her? There will always be someone that will see you more that just a piece of meat to fuck."
"Well, then I won't have that someone then."
"Oh, but I know one person though." Bucky grinned, "Me."
Y/N was rendered speechless when he confessed his true feelings.
"Doll, have you ever wonder why I love pinching your cheeks so much?" His fingers started to trail across her cheeks and his stare lingered in her eyes as his naughty hands find their way to her hips.
"It's because I was desperately trying to avoid grabbing these soft, thick thighs of yours." his eyes darkened the moment that he said, "And oh baby the things I'd do for you just to slide my cock between them."
It was like she was hypnotized by the way his hardened bulge grinding against her tummy. It felt good and his lust-filled gaze was doing nothing but making her wet, "Bucky..." she whispered.
Bucky lips was so gentle on her eyelids and her temple, until his teeth grazed along her neck and his groaning call reached her ears, "And do you know why I was pissed when we were sparring just now?" Asked before quickly clarifying, "It's not because I lost to you."
He grinded a particularly hard thrust against her that he accidentally moan in pleasure, "Oh babydoll, no. It's because I have this absolutely gorgeous girl on top of me, and her slutty body was just so close to me that I got so fucking hard. "
Bucky lifted her face towards his to watch how she was melted in his touch, "I was so pissed, because I can't fuck you the way I want to." His lips was so close, hovering over her own as he confessed.
But suddenly they felt a splash of water hitting side of their face, "Woah woah woah. Down, boy. Bad bucky. Bad!" Sam yelled. Imagine his surprise when he got into the kitchen to see Bucky literally humping on Y/N like a dog in heat.
They didn't even notice him approaching them with a glass of water in his hand.
Though Y/N was absolutely red in embrassement, but surely Bucky doesn't give a fuck. He didn't even acknowledge Sam's pleas to stop, especially when he crashed his lips on hers.
Y/N moaned lewdly as he effortlessly lifted her on the kitchen isle, feeling his clothed cock rubbing against her needy cunt. At that point, who cares if anyone's watching. She wanted him so bad. As bad as he wanted ruin her.
Sam scrambled backwards when Bucky started to unzip his pants, "Shit he's going feral." He dramatically ran across the halls leading to the kitchen as he announced, "Okay people, out. Get out. No one is allowed to the kitchen unless you want to be in debt cause I am not paying for your therapy."
Safe to say the kitchen was a fucking mess when Bucky was done with her and the cleaning crew was traumatized by the amount of wetness and cum they had to clean around the area.
End.
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A/N: This was so random but I hope you enjoyed it! Drop some thoughts behind for me to pick up and squeal at, would you?
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scoonsalicious · 26 days
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Unsatisfied, Pt. 1
Pairing: Bucky x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: Following the epilogue to Unwanted, you and Bucky finally have your first night together in your new apartment. You haven't had sex with him in an entire year. You are feeling... unsatisfied.
Warnings: Language, adult themes, mentions of past trauma, Pocket has a panic attack, she is not as okay as I thought, Cards Against Humanity, Bucky making dirty promises I fully intend for him to keep.
Word Count: 2k
A/N: My goal tonight was to work on WFLT. I had good intentions, I swear. But, I can't get Bucky and Pocket out of my mind. THEN, this was supposed to be smut. Pure, filthy smut. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!
You loved your found family, you really did. Or, at least that’s what you kept reminding yourself as you actively tried to convince yourself not to kill them right this second.
You made eye contact with Bucky from where he sat on the loveseat across the living room from you, looking about as sexually frustrated as you felt. You ran a finger delicately along your collarbone as you watched him adjust himself in his seat, and as he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, you–
“Hey, Kiddo,” Tony Stark called your attention to where he sat to the left of you. “Pick a Black Card. It’s your turn.”
Reluctantly, you drew your eyes away from your ridiculously attractive boyfriend and up to your psuedo-brother, former boss, who thought it had been a fantastic idea to have your entire team show up with pizzas to your brand new apartment, on your very first night there with Bucky, in order to play fucking Cards Against Humanity as a “morale-boosting exercise.” 
Cock-blocking exercise was more like it. 
You shot Tony a glare and reached across the coffee table to draw a card. Looking at it, you rolled your eyes in frustration before placing it face-up in front of you. “What gets me wet?” you read aloud from the card.
You were met with a room full of snickering as your teammates thumbed through their hands, searching for the best card to give to you. Bucky threw down a card almost immediately, catching your eye as he did so and winking at you. God, you needed everyone to leave so you could climb that man like a tree. 
One by one, your team deposited their White Cards into a pile in front of you, and once everyone had played their hand, you picked them up, shuffling them around so you wouldn’t know who had put down what card. 
You turned each over and read it aloud, asking each time: “What gets me wet?”
“Being a mother fucking sorcerer; Vehicular manslaughter; German Dungeon Porn; My fuckslave, Regianald; Auschwitz– ew; come on guys, really?-- My vagina– okay, actually factual– Dick Fingers; A juicy little booty that goes poot poot pooty; The Biggest, Blackest Dick– hilarious, Sam…”
“What?! You can’t know that’s mine, Baby Girl!” You shot Sam a knowing look. “Yeah, okay, it’s mine, but come on– it’s a good one!” he said with a laugh.
And then, there it was, the winner. You looked up and locked eyes with Bucky, who was smirking back at you with a wicked glint in his eye, and you knew instantly it was his card you were holding in your hand. 
Flipping the card over, you read out loud with a giant smile on your face: “What gets me wet? Genetically engineered super soldiers.” Everyone around the coffee table groaned, knowing that there was no way any of their cards would have topped that. Not for you, anyway.
With a grin, Bucky reached over and took the Black Card, adding it to the pile of his wins in front of him. 
“Ugh, no fair!” Nat pouted, gently tossing her hand of cards on the top of the coffee table. 
“You gotta play to your audience, Nat,” Bucky said, spreading his legs as he leaned back on the love seat. “Can’t help it if I know what my girl likes.”
“Yeah, well, I think you’re cheating,” Sam said. His words were meant to be playful, a sore-loser’s teasing lament, but you couldn’t help the rush of heartache those little syllables sent through your system, and your body froze. 
It had been almost a year, you thought to yourself as you tried to breathe through your increasing anxiety without attracting unnecessary attention. A year of therapy and rebuilding trust. You were meant to be over this.
But clearly you weren’t. 
“Excuse me,” you blurted out as you stood up, not bothering to offer an excuse for your rudeness or sudden departure. Trying to keep your breathing steady, you nearly sprinted out of the room and up the stairs until you were shutting the door of the ensuite bath in yours and Bucky’s master bedroom. The room you hadn’t even shared together yet, and now, on your first night in your new home, when you should be celebrating, becoming reacquainted with one another’s bodies, it would be permeated with thoughts of her.
You slid down the door to the cold tile floor, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you tried to shake the memories from your mind’s eye. But they, and your tears, began to fall in earnest. Despite what you knew to be true– that Bucky loved you, had only ever loved you, your mind kept bringing you back to the events of last year– of all the times he abandoned you for her, left you alone when she needed him. The things he had said to you while he was inside of you because she had told him she liked it. The sight of her riding his dick in a derelict safehouse in Russia. Your bones snapping and a bullet ripping through your flesh.
You couldn’t breathe. God, why couldn’t you breathe?
You shoved your fist into your mouth, trying to muffle the sound of your sobs. You were supposed to be over this, you kept reminding yourself. You were supposed to have forgiven him. But the memories brought about a visceral reaction you hadn’t experienced in months. Today had been meant to be a new beginning for the both of you, a fresh start. Something better, you had promised each other.
Why did it still hurt so much? 
You weren’t sure how much time had passed. You could have been hyperventilating on the bathroom floor for minutes or hours; you couldn’t tell, when a soft knock reverberated through the surface of the door.
“Sweetheart?” Bucky’s voice was muffled through the wood. “Doll, I can hear you crying. Let me in.” His words were soft, understanding, sorrowful. He knew.
You couldn’t move. You wanted to open the door, to lose yourself in his embrace so badly, but you couldn’t control your body enough to coordinate movement. All you could do was hug yourself as you sobbed.
“Pocket,” you heard Bucky murmur through the door. “Baby, I need you to breathe for me, ok? Your gonna make yourself pass out. Just… just unlock the door, alright? That’s all you have to do for me, sweets. Just unlock the door.”
Unlock the door. You could do that. One, simple motion. You slowly lifted a trembling hand above your head, connecting with the doorknob by sense of touch, alone. With shaking fingers, you managed to disengage the lock.
At the sound of the click, you heard Bucky exhale in relief. “Okay. Good girl. I’m gonna come in now, okay, sweets?” You knew you should move– you were still curled up in front of the door, but you couldn’t get your body to cooperate. You tried to speak, but the only sound that came from your throat was another agonizing sob.
You heard the knob turn and the door begin to press against you. With gentle but steady pressure, Bucky opened the door, sliding your body across the bathroom tile in the process, but you barely noticed. He would always be a force that had the ability to move you at his will.
When there was enough space for him to fit his body through the door frame, Bucky squeezed himself in and turned to look behind the door, searching for you.
“Oh, sweetheart,” he said, dropping down to his knees to join you on the tile. In an instant, he had you in his arms, picking you up and cradling you to his chest. 
“I-I-I’m…” you stuttered, trying to form words through your sobs, “s–s–so s-s-sorry.”
Bucky tutted as he stroked your hair. “No, sweets, no. I’m the one who’s sorry.” He kissed the top of your head, and you found that your breathing began to steady in his presence. “My actions keep causing you pain.”
You shook your head vehemently, clutching to the fabric of his shirt as if your very life depended on it. “No,” you whispered. “It’s not… It’s not you.” You closed your eyes, trying to mold your jumbled emotions into a cohesive thought. “This place is supposed to be safe,” you told him, hoping he would follow what you were trying to say. “Ours. And then… when Sam said… that… it was… it was like her ghost walked right in the door. She’s still haunting me, Buck.”
You felt his arms tighten around you. “Sweetheart,” he murmured into your hair, “what do you need? What can I do?”
You wiped at your eyes and looked up at him with a tear-streaked face. “Tell me you love me, Bucky.”
His piercing blue gaze was honest and sincere as he looked down at you. “I love you, Pocket. I have only, ever, loved you.” No questions, no ridiculing your request for reassurance– just pure understanding that this was what you needed from him
You felt yourself exhale, the tension that had been wracking through you ebbing away as you looked into his eyes. “I love you, Buck,” you whispered back. “I’m sorry– I thought… I thought I was better.”
His face was soft as he looked at you. “Doll, you are getting better. It’s a process. We’re a process. And we work on us, together.”
You snorted in spite of yourself as you wiped your nose. “How the fuck did you get so goddamn wise?” you asked him. “It’s mildly annoying.”
“Ah, there’s that dirty mouth I love so much,” he smirked at you. “Come on.” With a gracefulness that belied his massive size, he lifted you up and carried you back into the bedroom, gently placing you on your new bed.
“Oh, shit!” you said, trying to stand up. “Everyone’s still downstairs–”
“I kicked them out as soon as you left the living room,” he told you, coming to kneel before you as he pulled you back down. “Serves them right for interrupting our first night living together when we haven’t touched each other in eight thousand, seven hundred and forty three hours.”
You widened your eyes. “Not that your counting, or anything,” you said with a giggle, and were rewarded when Bucky smirked up at you.
“There’s my girl,” he said, stroking your cheek. “I know we had big plans for tonight,” he said as he rested his vibranium hand on your knee. “And trust me when I tell you, there is nothing I want more than to strip you naked and take you apart on every single surface of this apartment until you can’t remember your own name.” You gulped at that. “But,” he continued, “all that can wait. Tonight, I’m gonna go back into that bathroom, light some candles, and run us a bubble bath. Then, you and I are going to get in that tub and I’m just gonna hold you, okay?” You found yourself nodding dumbly at the sensual promise.
Bucky leaned in close to you, tucking a strand of hair away from your face and behind your ear. “Tonight,” he reiterated, “I just want us to be close. And then tomorrow?” He leaned in to whisper seductively into your ear. “First thing tomorrow, I’m going to fucking ruin you.”
Next Part ->
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laurashapiro-noreally · 2 months
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Looking for something to read?
Oh look, it's another recs post! This time I'm featuring two stories per author. These are writers I always make time for, whose work stands out as unusually hot, clever, funny, or smart -- sometimes all of the above.
I'm gonna start you out strong with two by @werpiper: After Hours takes Aziraphale and Crowley to the baths after their oyster supper, and all sorts of interesting pleasures are there for our angel to sample. Piper's Crowley is one of my favorites: always evaluating the situation, not quite aware of what his own heart is doing but feeling it anyway.
Fitting In is a new story, still a WIP, but I am utterly tantalized by Muriel's first taste of love -- and tea. This is already rich in detail, soft and fragrant, and I can hardly wait for the action to get going in earnest. The pairing seems surprising but when you think about it for ten seconds of course it makes sense. Sex workers help the curious, the awkward, and the inexperienced every day, bless them.
If you enjoy these, check out @werpiper's back catalog -- they have done a ton of ineffables-through-the-ages, and their series Miracles and Heresy is worth many delightful hours of your time.
I love what @copperplatebeech has been doing lately:
He's Not My Friend is a T-rated story that explores Aziraphale's constant refusal to acknowledge his relationship with Crowley, and Crowley's mirror of that, and how things glacially shift over time. It is subtle and yet specific, it will make you ache and smile.
All Of The Above, also T-rated, is a warm and fuzzy alternative to that, a hilarious celebration of true friendship that made me laugh out loud and still got me right in the feels.
@copperplatebeech can do everything, from quiet, gentle, and romantic to devastating plotty AUs to extraordinarily horny established relationship to absolutely ridiculous humor. Do dive in if you haven't already.
Next up, @cumaeansibyl, master of kink:
better living through technology manages to shove everything I want in a dirty story into less than three thousand words: uptight Aziraphale reduced to sodden wreck, Crowley gleefully showing him what he's been missing, character-driven erotics, and exceptionally funny dialogue.
indulgentiam peccatorum nostrorum is somehow all that and more, turning the "I was wrong" dance into a kink (something I can't get enough of, recs welcome). This one is post-Bastille so it is extra-juicy. Mind the tags!
@cumaeansibyl has a gift for established relationship one-shots, which readers of mine will know are my entire jam. They also have a mind-meltingly hot inverse!omens AU that features different variations of angelic/demonic Crowleys and Aziraphales for our ineffables to play with.
A new-to-me author, Calico, has me hanging by a thread with their Ineffable Romans series. If you want to remember that your ineffables aren't human, that they are inordinately clever but very stupid, that the feelings they have for each other are truly beyond what anyone alive has ever felt, Calico may be the writer for you. This stuff is deep. Also hot af.
Sub Rosa reads like a nasty shag at Petronius', but there's so much more going on here. It is Extremely Queer, driven by power dynamics, and Crowley is fully demonic here and absolutely in control...or is he?
The Intemperance of Liber Pater continues on this theme, with dialogue-driven smut that reads less like a seduction than an inevitability. There's another story in this series, unfinished, and I can't wait to see what happens next.
Last but not least: two short pieces by @ineffabildaddy. I stumbled on their stories just this week and I absolutely love their approach, which I've not seen done quite this way before.
take me as your wife has a tight first-person perspective as Crowley meets Aziraphale for a meal and imagines (or is it his imagination?) that Aziraphale is suggesting Certain Things about how they might occupy themselves later. Indeed, is he suggesting even more? Something about their relationship? Or is it all in Crowley's head?
Only in Dreams is kind of a companion piece, from Aziraphale's point of view -- though hundreds of years later. This one's set after the events of S2 and although just as romantic as take me as your wife, it also offers an ineffable take on the ol' glory hole concept. Just in case you thought I was getting soft. 😏
@ineffabildaddy has a whole series of poems and ficlets like these and I can't wait to explore them all.
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