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yoongiseesawmp3 · 2 years

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oh he’s good - san (m)

part of the church boy series.

summary: san, a non-believer, has one of the best voices in the church choir, and maybe one of the best voices in the world. fresh off a break up, you’re not looking for anything serious, and he isn’t either... but someone definitely falls faster and harder than they should.

word count: 11.4k (i am so sorry)

warnings: smut!!! some talk abt god n stuff. alcohol use. swearing?

your relationship with church is...complicated, to say the least. you’re one of those kids that grew up going and never had the chance to make the decision yourself if you actually “believed” or not, so here you are as an adult, still going to church...just because?

because it’s comfortable and familiar, maybe, and that might be why you find yourself at church this sunday after the worst breakup of your life. you weren’t ready for forever with your ex, but it wasn’t off the table on your end. they had other plans, though, and after a few rocky months you came home the other day to an empty apartment. great way to start the summer, huh?

anyway, you came to church thinking you could surprise your family with the unannounced visit, but the one day you’re sitting in the usual pew is the one day your family decides to sleep in. at least you’ve got the whole pew to yourself, so you can doodle and no one will elbow you to stop or give you a side eye for not paying full attention to the service.

the organ music starts and you’ve got your bulletin in your lap, skimming through to see what’s been happening since you’ve been gone. the choir starts to file in, and you watch the swoosh of purple robes as they make their way to the choir loft. there’s a lot more people in the choir than you remember, so many that they have to walk doubled up down the aisle instead of single file. that has the robes dangerously close to swiping the lip gloss right off your mouth, and one clumsy singer trips ever so slightly at the pew behind yours. they grab onto the back of your pew to balance themselves, pulling your hair in the process, and you yelp in surprise. a hushed “shit, sorry, so sorry!” meets your ears, and you look up to find the sharpest features staring back at you. the man above you has stilled slightly, holding up the line, but his eyes are reading concerned and he mouths “you ok?” to which you nod. he gives you a quick once over before he nods back and continues the procession down the aisle, but you don’t miss the way he turns to make sure you’re still watching him as he walks away.

you try to make it less obvious that, yes, you are staring straight at him, but the way his eyes have been locked on yours since he sat down makes that difficult. you can’t even play it off like you’re looking at the pastor because the hair puller is over near the piano and nowhere near the pulpit. speaking of the pastor, as he greets everyone, your mystery man nods in his direction, as if to say “you should pay attention to this.” you just smile to yourself as you take another moment to stare into his shining eyes, and then your attention is where it needs to be.

except, you know that feeling of somebody definitely watching you? that lingers as you try to listen to the announcements the pastor is sharing, and you can’t help but feel the warmth of someone’s eyes committing your face to memory. your eyes flit back over to mr. sly smile, and he outright grins when you catch him locked in on you and you only. now it’s your turn to point your head in the direction of the big man (er, the big man’s mouthpiece, technically, sorry god) and your choir boy has the audacity to laugh! in church! at something other than a lame joke made by a parishioner! how dare he.

you would keep this inner monologue going in your head but the pastor motioning for the choir snaps you out of it, mostly because your target suddenly isn’t where he was a second ago. instead he’s walking down to the lectern, music book in hand, and smiling a million dollar smile at the congregation. the music slowly begins as he settles at the lectern, and you watch intently as he places his book down and adjusts the mic for what must be his upcoming solo. the song starts with the makeshift orchestra tucked away in the choir loft, and choir boy takes a deep breath before he begins to sing in the most honey-coated voice you’ve ever heard. there are no words except beautiful, warm and welcoming for his voice, and you’re sad when his solo is over too soon for your liking. you snap out of the trance his voice put you in and notice he’s, yep, still staring right at you.

the next part of the service goes about the same, cute church boy staring into your sinner’s soul as you doodle and try to ignore him until you can’t take it anymore and risk a glance up at his fierce gaze. you know this is some form of weird church flirting, but you have to remind yourself not to get too excited about it. you’re still healing from your breakup and don’t need a crush, so you do your best to snap out of it before the pastor prays you out and everyone leaves. hopefully you can slip out unnoticed by anybody and be on your merry little way to annoy your family for not coming to church today.

unfortunately for you, you forgot that in the last service the choir gets to either leave after the offering (since they’ve been there all morning) or they can join their loved ones in the pews. and guess who’s sitting in the only completely empty row in the entire sanctuary? you. and guess who decides that this is the perfect spot to spread out and glance your way from a way shorter distance? choir boy. so now you have to sit through an entire sermon with his eyes glancing dangerously up and down your body. you grip tighter on the nub of a pencil you found in the attendance pad, and continue sketching the best possible flower meadow you can muster.

as a kid, you would get these little activity books each sunday that tied into what the sermon was about so that your baby brain could comprehend what the adults were talking about while you sat there, and you think that’s what started your habit of doodling during the message. you’d always rush through the activities as a kid so you could spend the rest of your time coloring to your heart’s content, so now you use the limited skills and resources at your disposal to sketch out a flower meadow that the pastor is using as part of his big metaphor. you don’t notice choir boy beside you leaning over for a sneaky glance at the paper in your lap, and he smiles when he sees you so focused on your little doodles. it inspires him to grab a paper of his own and scratch out a note, which he passes to you. you look up at him and he smiles softly, a little spark of a joke that you’re not in on yet shining in his eyes. he looks down at the note, encouraging you to take it, and your fingertips brush as you pull the note from him.

“whatcha doin?” it reads, and you scoff quietly.

“drawing,” you whisper back. “it helps me focus.”

you’re met with silence in response, and a quick look at your new friend shows him stooped over another scrap, writing another note that he passes to you when he’s done.

“no talking in church!!!!!!!” he warns, with about twenty messy exclamation points. you laugh quietly and see that he’s handing you another note, which reads “i’m san, btw :) what’s your name?”

you take the note from him once again, and write back “y/n” before you hold it up for san to see. he nods after reading it and leans in as he whispers “pretty name. nice to meet you, y/n.”

“no talking in church!!” you whisper back, and you add a harsh, quick “sh!” for good measure. san laughs at you and nods in understanding, pointing his attention back to the front of the sanctuary. but he doesn’t stop glancing your way, watching as you capture your tongue between your lips in concentration as you add a tree to your small meadow scene. san smiles and shakes his head, almost so he can shake away the same thoughts you were just having. he’s still in a weird situationship with his ex/sometimes gf, so he doesn’t need to flirt with you or string you along. something about you, though...he’s hooked, and he knows it.

the service lets out and you get a text from your mom that she is in fact at church, but she went to the early service and then joined her friend’s sunday school class since she thought no one else from the family was coming today. since you’ve been living on your own for a few months now, you decide to wait for your mom to finish her class so you can say hi before you leave. while you wait you exchange pleasantries with church members you haven’t seen in a while, and you quickly get tired of explaining that no, that nice boy who came to christmas eve services last year is not with you and no, he probably won’t be coming back again.

after maybe the sixth person rubs salt in your wound, you feel a tap on your shoulder, which is strange considering your mom would most likely just pull you into a hug. you turn expecting to see someone else and you’re met with san, who smiles and waves like he didn’t just get your attention on purpose. he’s lost the purple choir robe and now you can see how buff he is, which is entirely too distracting. he’s wearing a nice white button up (lord help those buttons, they’re struggling) and some dark linen pants, and he looks delectable. you smile at him in return as you try to shut your mind off and keep your eyes from staring at his broad shoulders and tiny waist.

“so, y/n,” he begins. “do you have lunch plans?”

“i’m gonna stop you right there, buckaroo,” you say, placing a hand up for emphasis.

“buckaroo?” san scoffs with a grin. “didn’t know this was a wild west film.”

“i’m being serious,” you warn him. “as much fun as it was not paying attention to the sermon with you, i’m not looking for anything serious, so i’m afraid i can’t be your lunch date.”

“who said anything about being my date?” he asks incredulously. “i was just making small talk. i’m already spoken for, sweet cheeks.”

“how charming,” you say with a roll of your eyes. “does your sweetheart know you flirt with other people when they’re not around?”

“it’s complicated,” san says with a tense smile. “anyway. it was nice to formally meet you, y/n. can’t wait to annoy you another day.”

what did he mean by ‘it’s complicated’ and how complicated could it be if he felt comfortable enough flirting with someone else without a hint of remorse? san might not be the kind of guy you need to get mixed up with, especially not right now, but...it’s tempting. thankfully, you hear the sound of your mom’s laughter from down the hall and you know a welcome distraction is on the way. you can think more about san and his mischievous eyes later.

during the week, you have the luxury of picking when you want to go into the office. the other days, you can work from home, or more often than not, you go to the coffeeshop by your new house. it’s quick, it’s convenient, and it’s cheap. it’s also an easy way for you to focus and get a bunch of work done so you usually come here when you want to condense a long day’s work into just a couple hours.

you’re about three hours deep into work mode when you realize you need another coffee, so you get up from your seat and take your empty mug back up to the front. it’s just about lunch time, so the afternoon rush is slowly starting, and you take a place a few people back in line. you notice what appears to be a couple arguing at the counter (over what, you don’t know) and that’s slowing the line down. they’re definitely fighting though, and you look down at your phone to make it less obvious you’re trying to eavesdrop. finally they get their drinks and the guy turns to leave in such a rush that he grazes your side, almost spilling coffee all over you. you look up, ready to cuss someone out, when you hear a familiar “shit, sorry, i’m sorry” and that’s when you notice it’s none other than san. he makes eye contact with you briefly as the girl next to him tugs on his arm and complains that he “always takes too long,” and you give him a shy wave before focusing back on the line ahead of you.

the following monday, you find yourself back at your favorite table, working away. today should be a short day for you, so you’ve invited a friend to join you and you’re currently gossiping over his coworker that claims he went on vacation to greece but it was actually a lie to make him look cool.

“yeah, so when i went into his office, right,” your friend yeosang begins. “he told me he had gifts for everybody, so i went to look at what he brought, and first of all, he had a jar of olives on his desk that i KNOW is from whole foods, and THEN he tried to tell us that the ‘pita bread’ he brought back must have been smushed in his suitcase but actually i think they were just tortillas.”

“why would he do that?” you laugh, taking a sip of your quickly cooling coffee. the only bad thing about inviting yeosang is that you tend to get too wrapped up in the conversation and you always let your coffee go cold. as you take another sip you notice another couple talking animatedly about something, just a few tables behind you. yeosang hears it too and you both stop your conversation to listen in.

“i don’t know why you keep trying to control me,” a woman’s voice begins. “it’s not like you’re fully committed to this relationship either.”

“yeah, but i don’t hang all over other girls and embarrass you in front of everyone you know,” the guy responds, and your ears perk up at the sound. “he’s one of my best friends and you almost ruined his relationship too!”

“oh so i ruin relationships now? that’s what this is?” she asks. “san, i never knew when this turned into a relationship. i thought this was something fun, something casual, but you’re the one making it into something it’s not.”

san. she said san, didn’t she? you try to peek around yeosang, but he just turns with you to glance at the poor couple fighting loud enough for the whole cafe to hear.

“c’mon, don’t be like that,” he says, and now that you’re listening for his voice it definitely sounds like the san you met last weekend. you see the girl stand up, lean over the table, and tell him something you can’t hear, and then she storms away. poor san is left by himself for a moment before he jolts up and follows her, clumsily knocking into yeosang’s chair as he passes by. he starts to apologize when he catches your eye, and you just watch quietly as he leaves without a word.

the week after you attended church alone, you purposefully made plans so you wouldn’t have to go that following sunday. but you slipped up talking to your mom and now she expects you to be there this coming weekend, and after what you saw at the coffeehouse you almost want to go just to see how san’s doing.

not in a check in on him type of way, though. you mostly wanna go to see what kind of train wreck has been left in the aftermath. i mean, if you got broken up with publicly? you’d probably crawl into a hole and start the hibernation process. but no, as you accompany your mom into church the next sunday, you see san’s shock of black hair towering above the old ladies of the choir and he seems just fine. you avert your eyes before he can turn and meet your gaze, and you follow your mom quickly to your seats.

the service goes along as usual, only this time no cute choir boy accidentally pulls your hair or decides to sit right next to you in your still (surprisingly) empty pew. he does, however, stare at you every chance he gets. once he sits down, he stares. he stands up to sing (no solo this week) and instead of looking at his music book, he’s staring right at you. again, it’s the last service of the day so the choir gets to sit in the congregation or leave, and san holds eye contact with you the entire time he walks down the main aisle. you don’t turn to see where he goes though, because that would put your mom on your tail, so you just settle back into your seat and prepare for a long winded sermon.

after the service, you think you’re in the clear because you didn’t spot san in the sanctuary, but as soon as you and your mom enter the narthex you feel a tap on your shoulder, eerily similar to the one you felt just a couple weeks ago. you turn, and sure enough, there’s san standing and smiling at you once again.

“hi san,” you say with fake cheer. “choir sounded great today.”

“oh, yes, it did!” your mom coos, suddenly interested in this conversation rather than the one where she was gossiping with her friend about the pastor’s wife. “san, is it?”

“yes ma’am,” he nods politely. “and thank you, y/n. i appreciate that.”

“how do you two know each other?” your mom prys, and you open your mouth to speak but san beats you to it.

“actually, i scouted y/n a couple weeks ago,” he begins. “we’ve been trying to start up a young adult ministry for a while now, but there’s never enough people interested.” then he turns fully to you. “so i was wondering if you’d be up for a bible study? with other people our age. we’d meet outside the church, at a restaurant or someone’s house, whatever we feel like that week. it should be fun.”

“a bible study?” you repeat, and he simply nods, blinking back at you as if to convey a message in morse code.

“that would be wonderful!” your mom replies. “i’ve been trying to get y/n into a study for years, this would be perfect.”

“great!” san says happily, matching your mom’s energy. “what do you think, y/n? we meet on thursdays, i can send you the details and you can decide later on if you want to come.”

“that’s fine,” you agree, and your mom, proud, walks off to go tell her friend you’re finally coming back to jesus. now that you’re alone though, san continues.

“so i’ll need your number to send you the details,” he says with a suggestive smirk, and you groan.

“i knew you were up to something,” you sigh. “i don’t even wanna go, i hate bible studies.”

“trust me, you’ll like this one,” he says, holding his hand out. “now fork it over, sweetcheeks. let me put my number in.”

“fine,” you gripe. “don’t waste your time naming yourself something special, i’ll just change it to choi san when you’re done.”

“what’s the fun in that?” he asks, passing your phone back to you. the contact card is still up, and he’s named himself “the golden voice of god.”

“humble, aren’t we?” you tease, and he smiles.

“i’ll see you on thursday,” he replies, but you protest weakly as he walks away. “i can even pick you up, if you want!” and then he’s gone.

so. it’s thursday night. you weren’t planning on going to the bible study, but san has been bugging you all day with texts trying to convince you to come. and when his initial tactic of “well i’m gonna be there, why don’t you wanna be there?” didn’t work, then he started luring you with food. whoever is hosting tonight is apparently rich, and they got one of your favorite restaurants to cater the freaking bible study. who does that?? so that’s the only reason you’re considering it. seriously. no other reason. at all.

now, if you were to ask why is san picking you up, well, that answer is more simple. because you wanted him to. despite your desire to stay away from anyone who could further break your heart, you’re intrigued by this man. a small part of you wants to get to know him, and that part of you won tonight.

so that’s how you ended up texting san at the last minute that you want to come, and he responds almost immediately with “great :) what’s ur address?”

a little while later, san pulls up in the most mom car you’ve ever seen. it’s better suited for a family of six, not a single dude in his 20s. you almost want to laugh when he gets out to open your door, and not just because the door sticks and he makes cute noises while he tries to yank it open. it makes you wanna laugh because this insight into his life is why you’re here. he doesn’t seem real to you, but this car and its ugliness is very real. his smile and the way it lights up for you seems real. whatever is pulling you toward him even though you should go the opposite direction, that’s also very real. so here you are, in his front seat, going to bible study for some good food and hopefully some answers.

except, you pull up and it doesn’t look like bible study at all. there’s a shit ton of cars in the driveway and wrapped around the house, and as san parks you hear music coming out of the slightly open front door.

“ok, a few questions,” you say after letting san get your door once again. “first of all, i thought we were going to bible study. second of all, i thought you said there weren’t enough young adults to start a ministry. this house has enough cars to pack the sanctuary on easter sunday.’

“neither of those were questions,” san astutely points out. “you wanna try again?”

“yeah, what the hell are we doing here?”

“ooo, baby used the h word at bible study,” he gasps, and you whine “but this is obviously not bible study!” to which san responds, “you’re right, it’s not. well, not technically. see, the group of young ‘leaders’ they asked to coordinate this group is actually myself and a few other non-believers who just so happen to be the best actors of the century, so everyone falls for it when we act all holy, but in reality, me and the other ‘leaders’ couldn’t give a rat’s ass about bible study or hymns or all that.”

before san’s rant, he started walking you toward the party house in front of you. and the more he revealed, the slower your steps became. when he finished, you were completely stopped, mouth agape and eyes in disbelief. san turns to find out why you’ve stopped, and he lets out a full chested laugh when he sees you in such shock.

“what, did you fall for it too?”

“YES?” you reply. “oh my god? so you’re telling me you started a bible study as a front for throwing parties, and you’re also an atheist? why do you sing in the choir then?!”

“i need the practice,” he says with a shrug. “i still want to be a singer, deep down. and it makes me feel good to get my little choir bonus because it makes me feel like i’m getting paid to sing, which is what i’ve always wanted. church is just the only place i can do that with pretty low effort. plus it makes my parents happy.”

“i’m sorry, i’m still having a hard time processing all of this,” you say. “golden boy san isn’t as golden as he seems? who knew.”

“right?” he smiles. “i’m just full of surprises. now, shall we go in?”

yeah, this absolutely is not a bible study. but san wasn’t lying when he said the mysterious owner of this house was getting food catered. you walk inside and instantly you’re met with the smell of your favorite greek restaurant, noticing all of the food piled onto the dining room table, tucked away from all of the mischief happening in the rest of the house. you start picking at the pita and hummus when san appears next to you, honestly you forgot he was still nearby.

“so obviously,” he begins, “food’s in here, drinks are in the kitchen, party is in the living room and upstairs-” this is said with a suggestive wink, “and then if it gets to be too much for you, there’s a bonfire going outside.”

“who said this would be too much for me?” you ask, sucking an olive into your mouth with a pop. san laughs and shakes his head.

“i’m gonna go get a drink, what do you want?”

“i’ll come with you,” you reply, following him like a lost puppy. you’re now realizing you don’t know many people here, so whether you like it or not, you might be spending a lot of time with san tonight.

he shows you all the alcohol options (this is still so shocking, these are all church kids?) and you ask him to make you something with vodka. he makes you some concoction that he swears is delicious, and when you take a sip it’s so strong it makes your nose hairs feel like they’re burning away.

“you trying to get me wasted, san?” you jokingly ask, and his eyes go wide.

“no, oh my god, sorry,” he replies, reaching for your drink but you swat him away. “what? i’ll make you a new one and take that one, i’m so sorry.”

“no, you still have to drive later, mr. mini van,” you tease. “i was just messing with you. i can handle this atomic sludge that you decided to serve me, but don’t judge if i make a face or two after each sip.”

“oh i will if they make you look funny,” he quips back and you can’t help but laugh at the glee in his voice.

“noted,” you mumble as you take another sip, and you wince when the drink burns going down. you risk a glance back at san and he just smiles and mimics taking a photo, and you realize that being around him might make this a long night.

after san makes himself a less toxic drink, you go back to the food and start to make a plate, but trying to balance your drink and get food is a struggle. san notices and politely takes you drink so you can fix your plate, but he’s giving his commentary over your shoulder the whole time.

“i don’t like olives, why are you getting so many?” he whines. “and put more chicken, that’s not enough for both of us.”

“who said this was for us?” you ask incredulously. “get your own plate.”

“i’m a little busy babe,” he says, holding up both drinks. “so add more chicken for me?” he says with a pout. “pretty please?”

“ugh, fine,” you sigh. “tell me when to stop.” you add another scoop, and look to san but his eyes tell you to keep going. you go for another, and he continues watching expectantly. “do you want me to just make you a plate?”

“no, i want us to share,” he pouts again. “just a little more though.”

“did you not eat today or something,” you mumble as you add as much food as the plate will handle.

“no actually,” he replies. “it was a busy one so i didn’t really have time.”

“san, you can’t do that!” you scold him. “you need to take care of yourself.”

“what if i want you to do it for me?” he asks with a teasing lilt in his voice. you groan in response and confirm that you have enough food before you shoulder your way through some partygoers in search of a place to sit and eat. san follows behind you and looks around, noticing the same time as you that there’s no open space inside. so he leans down to whisper in your ear “maybe we could sit outside?” but his proximity and the way his lips so barely grazed your ear have your heart racing. you watch as san takes the lead now, looking over his shoulder to make sure you’re following, and you hope in the dim light he doesn’t notice your blush. but of course he does, because he turns back around with the smuggest smile on his face.

you finally make it outside and find plenty of open space, but san insists on the swinging bench by the fire, so you carefully sit and balance the plate between the two of you. the light from the fire illuminates san’s sharp features, and you catch yourself staring as he offers your drink back to you. he quirks his head, almost wanting to ask if you were staring, but instead he just comments on how nice it feels outside, and you quietly agree.

“here,” you say, offering him the plate. “eat your chicken, protein monster.”

“you’re not gonna feed it to me?” he whines, and you have to audibly groan.

“you’re so..”

“what? charming, lovable?” he tries, and you shake your head.

“insufferable,” you finish, and he laughs before taking the plate from you and trying the food. “is it good?”

“yeah, here,” he says, holding a forkful of chicken out to you. now it’s your turn to laugh, because he’s making airplane noises trying to get you to take the food he’s offering.

“stop it!” you finally manage to say. “nobody’s feeding anybody else! eat like a normal person or i’m taking the plate back. this is really my food, after all.”

“fine with me,” he says after scooping another bite of chicken. “eat your gross olives.” you sit in silence as you make a little pita, hummus, olive taco and san picks at the chicken a little more. after another quiet moment you start to speak.

“do you mind me asking why you didn’t eat today?” san just shrugs and reminds you he was busy. “but still. we got here almost at 8pm, that’s a long time to not eat. did you work today or something?”

“yeah,” san begins to explain. “i’ve been jumping around jobs lately, trying to make more time to take singing seriously, so i’m just in a funk right now i think. i don’t have a set schedule so it’s hard to keep up with everything. been a rough week.”

your mind flashes back to the blow up you watched in the cafe last week, and you wonder if san remembers seeing you there. you wonder if he knows you heard every word of his break up, and you also wonder if it would be wrong to let yourself feel something for him if you’re both so freshly out of relationships. but that’s a problem for another day.

“i know you saw me,” he continues, his eyes flicking up to meet yours. “at the cafe? sorry you had to hear that.”

“i’m sorry you had to go through that,” you counter. “break ups are never pretty, especially...like that.”

“yeah, that was a dick move on my part. i knew i wanted to break up with her so i shouldn’t have asked to meet there, but as her parting gift to me she had to do it first and make a scene,” he tries laughing it off. “but i’m fine, in that regard at least. i’m better off without her.”

“cheers to that,” you say, lifting your cup to tap san’s. you gag slightly at the sharp drop in taste from the delicious food to the shitty drink, and san chuckles.

“i didn’t realize i made it that bad.”

“yeah, maybe stick to singing, sweetcheeks.”

“what about you?” he asks, eyes still glued on you. “how’d yours happen?”

“it was easy,” you say with a shrug. “he didn’t love me anymore. years together just over in a couple minutes when i came home and saw him packing his things. not much you can say to stop that.”

“damn,” san whistles. “and i thought i was a dick.”

“you’re not a dick,” you assure him. “neither is my ex, and that’s the hard part. i want him to be a villain, but he’s just some dude trying to live his life now. nothing i can do about that.”

“you could start dating someone super cool and cute and hot and make him jealous though,” san offers, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

“nope, if i’m gonna come to bible study every week then you need to keep the flirting to a minimum. we’re both going through shit-”

“we could go through it together-”

“and i think, sweet sweet san, it would be good for us to be on our own for a little while,” you say, patting his shoulder. “just not the right time.”

“wait, go back,” he says, just processing. “you said you’ll come to bible study every week?”

“why not,” you shrug. “this is the first time i’ve enjoyed myself in the name of the lord. plus free food.”

“thanks be to god,” san says, tapping his cup with yours once more.

the next few weeks you find yourself falling into a pattern with san. he picks you up for “bible study” in his mom-mobile, you grab as many snacks and drinks as you can carry, and you go sit outside by the fire. it’s nice, actually, spending time with him like this. he’s mellowed out, still flirting here and there, but you can tell you’re genuinely becoming friends as the weeks go on. you’re getting more comfortable with him, something you notice suddenly when you got a little too drunk too fast and started nodding off as san was explaining why his current part time job was busting his balls. it was also getting colder as the night went on, so you were slowly curling in on yourself to keep the cold out. san notices and grumbles something before he’s clearing the discarded food barrier between you two, and without giving you a chance to protest, he’s pulling you into his side. once he’s settled, you realize it’s not weird or awkward, it’s just...comfortable. and he’s so warm, which you didn’t realize you had mumbled that out to him.

“what’d you say?” he asks with a smile, looking down at your fluttering eyelashes as you nuzzle closer to him to fight the chill.

“said you’re really warm,” you repeat, your face smushed against his shoulder. your eyes are closed, so you don’t see the sweet look san gives you as he speaks next.

“want me to take you home baby?”

“no,” you shake your head. “’m comfy. don’t move yet.”

“got it,” san laughs, twirling a piece of your hair as he waits for your current situation to click in your mind. it already has, because you stopped yourself from getting caught up in san’s scent a few minutes ago, but you decided to let yourself enjoy this moment. but san’s searing gaze is starting to get to you, and you crack an eye open to glare at him.

“stop looking at me like that,” you warn him.

“like what?” he counters. “your eyes were closed! how could you tell i was looking at you?”

“just knew,” you shrugged. “and you’re defensive, so i was right.”

“what, a friend can’t appreciate another friend’s beauty?”

“no, we can’t,” you respond. “and stop playing with my hair, i’m really gonna fall asleep if you do that.”

“sorry,” he says, stopping immediately. “but can i still look at you?”

“depends on the look,” you say warily.

“alright, you tell me then,” he says quietly, glancing from your eyes down to your lips. “is this ok?” you nod, and he scoots closer, placing a hand on your thigh. “how about this?”

“that’s ok,” you agree, voice suddenly hiding from you. you clear your throat before you say again, “that’s fine, yeah.”

“but this would be too much, right?” san asks, cupping your cheek next. you shake your head no, and he quirks an eyebrow in questioning.

“it’s not too much,” you assure him, his thumb stroking your cheek as you speak. “feels nice cause i’m still cold.”

“maybe we should warm you up then?” he asks, another question in his eyes. you know what he wants to ask and you simply nod then lean in to meet his lips.

let’s say you haven’t kissed a lot of people, but you’ve kissed enough to definitely know what it feels like. or so you thought. this kiss with san is like nothing else. when people say they feel a spark between them and someone else, this kiss is your proof that those sparks are real. suddenly the crisp fall air around you is forgotten, your body slowly warming from your head to your toes. the sparks collect and move from your lips to your waist where san has a steady grip on you. then the sparks move to your neck as san mumbles something about going home, and you quickly pull him back to your lips, wanting to stay in this moment longer. he tries pulling away once more and you finally let him go, whimpering when your lips disconnect. the sound just about breaks san’s heart, but his internal clock told him it was time to go. he needed to be up in a couple hours for work, and he’s afraid he wouldn’t sleep at all if he didn’t take you back to your apartment right now. he explains all this to you, and you just nod, cheeks still warm and getting ever warmer as he helps you up, arm wrapping around you as you walk together back to his car with san leaving a kiss on the top of your head before you separate.

you know you shouldn’t be falling for choi san, but you sure as hell like being around him. you like kissing him too, which is something you both do frequently now without really discussing the consequences. that’s what you’re doing now, actually. san came by to take you to bible study like usual and instead of just texting that he was here, he came to your door and asked if he could come inside. he claims he needed to throw away some old coffee cups so you wouldn’t think he’s a gross pig, but in reality he just wanted to see your space. picture you in someplace other than the church or outside by the fire when his mind wanders and daydreams about you at work, or worse, when he’s singing. he’s caught himself humming love songs lately, and he’s scared and excited by the fact that each one reminds him of you.

you let him in warily, telling him you wanna get drunk tonight and he’s killing the vibe, but he just takes his time noticing all the little details of your home. noticing you. he notes the type of coffee on the counter and tucks that away for another time, and he notes that you have a bowl piled high with peaches and there’s about ten other peach scented things scattered around. that explains why you always smell so sweet. speaking of sweet, your voice as sweet as honey pulls him from his thoughts.

“san, cmon, let’s go,” you whine. “someone’s gonna take our spot.”

“oh baby,” he starts off, pulling his eyes away from the stack of books on your coffee table. “haven’t you been outside today? it’s freezing. party’s inside today.”

“ugh,” you groan. “that means more people. y’know, i think you’re the only person i like there.”

“then we’ll just have to find another way to end up by ourselves,” he says, suddenly very close to you. your back bumps into the kitchen counter and you brace yourself as san’s arms drape around you. “or maybe we could have a party of our own, here?” his thumb finds your chin, turning your face up to meet his eyes. he leans in to give you a tentative kiss. then you’re pulling him closer, making sure he can’t leave your grip. you stay like that, kissing slowly, and then san tugs your chin to get your attention. “what do you think, love? here, or bible study?”

“b-bible study,” you stutter out, heart racing. you need a distraction from the man in front of you and his knowing smirks, his gleaming eyes that make you feel like the only person in the world. you need to get your mind off of him before you do something you shouldn’t. just kissing is fine, right? that’s not crossing too many lines. but what you wanted to do if you had continued making out definitely would’ve crossed a line. and you’re not ready to do that. or are you?

you’re not sure if it’s the fact that no one is sitting outside tonight, or maybe you’re just not used to being inside during these parties, but there’s a lot of people here. it’s crowded, it’s loud, and you can’t stop thinking about san, so these people are really just background noise to you. san is dragging you through the house, pointing out friends here and there. you meet his friend seonghwa and his girlfriend, who also go to your church. they seem nice, and you wished san would’ve just sat down with them, but he’s pulling you on to another part of the house in search of booze. your little rendezvous at your house made you late, and it looks like all the good stuff is gone.

“damn,” san mumbles, looking over the sad collection of bottles. “all that’s left is everclear, some fireball, and tequila.”

“god, the tequila, please,” you urge. “if you make me drink fireball we’re never talking again.”

“bad experience with it or just don’t like the taste?” san questions, and you respond, “both.” he nods and laughs, grabbing the unopened bottle of tequila before an idea sparks in his eyes. “you know what we should do?”

“what?” you ask warily, not a fan of the excitement in his voice or the fire in his eyes.

“oh don’t sound so scared,” he teases, grabbing a few more things off the counter. he holds them up to you with a shit-eating grin. “we should take shots the right way.”

he’s showing off a salt shaker and a bowlful of lime wedges, and the joy on san’s face is telling you there’s no way out of this.

“i wouldn’t say that’s the right way to take shots...”

“cmon y/n, it’ll be fun,” he says, and you listen only because he used your name. usually he calls you some kind of pet name, but this proves how badly he wants to do this. you follow him like a lost puppy as he goes back out to the party, and before you know it you’re following him upstairs. he checks that you’re still behind him, and you quirk your eyebrow at his choice of location.

“less people,” he shrugs. “want you to myself for a minute.”

having you to himself means occupying the only empty room, what looks like an office turned guest room based on the desk shoved in the corner and the small twin bed across from it. doesn’t leave many options for you to sit, so you take up the head of the bed while san situates himself at the foot. he balances everything for the shots carefully on the mattress before checking in with you.

“you good, babe?”

“why wouldn’t i be?” you reply, and san shrugs.

“you up for something interesting?” he asks, and suddenly you’re nervous. you’d been trying to repress whatever you’ve been feeling for san lately, but your game plan of going to bible study has led you into one of his easily laid traps. he wants to get you to crack tonight, you can tell. and you’re afraid you might let him, even if you shouldn’t.

“interesting how?” you counter, and san just holds the bottle up with a quirked eyebrow.

“body shots?”

“you’re joking.”

“only a little.”

“san, no,” you say firmly. “i feel like that would require us taking clothes off, and that’s not very in the name of the holy ghost.”

“i pray to god the holy ghost isn’t in here right now,” san mumbles as he struggles to open the tequila. you grab the single cup he managed to grab and start rimming it with a slice of lime before dashing a bit of salt on top of that. you offer the cup to san so he can pour a shot, which he does with a very heavy hand. “yours or mine?”

“are you driving or am i?”

“i have a feeling we’ll be here a while, so it may not matter,” he says as he takes the cup from you. he takes it like a champ, only wincing slightly at the end when you pass him a lime wedge. “bleh. still can’t decide if i like these or not.”

“well i do, so gimme the bottle,” you say, but san stops you.

“let me pour it,” he says, starting the shot the same way you did by salting the rim. he pours another heavy shot, passing the drink to you. in the time it takes you to tip your head back and swallow, san has hidden the bowl of limes and he’s very proud of himself for it. he’s got one of his signature smirks on his ridiculously handsome face, and you can tell the bowl of limes is precariously hidden behind his back.

“c’mon san, lemme chase it,” you whine, and he shakes his head, mumbling something without opening his mouth. “what? use your words, big boy.”

san waits a moment, smile threatening to break across his face, while you’re peeved off sitting across from him. slowly he smiles, revealing the lime held firmly in his mouth. he wiggles his eyebrows at you, waiting for your response.

“you’re joking,” you laugh, leaning forward to grasp at the bowl. “gimme a clean lime!”

“mm-mm!” san grunts, nudging you back in your place. you lose your balance and fall back on the pillows, giving san a chance to box you in below him. he’s hovering over you, lime still taunting you from between his lips, and he tries again. “eh? donchawanit?”

there’s a nanosecond between his poorly enunciated question and the mini-monologue in your head. you try to talk yourself out of it, say this is just a rebound, you shouldn’t dive head first into this when you’re still healing from your breakup, but san keeps moving closer and your eyes flutter at the scent of him and your cheeks warm at the feeling of his hands on your hips. he’s got you wrapped around his finger, so you might as well take the dive.

you let your lips meet his and your teeth sink into the lime just enough to rid your mouth of the cheap tequila taste. you swoop the lime from san’s mouth and spit it out, not sure where it’ll land, but you don’t care. san has reconnected your lips, ready to kiss you until you can’t feel them anymore. his hands slide under your shirt to caress your skin, and while this isn’t the first time you’ve found yourselves in a position like this (you might have spent too much time in his car last week before going into the party) this time is decidedly different for some reason. somehow, without speaking about it, you both know this is going somewhere tonight. you’ve fought it for so long, and san has held back for so long, that if you don’t stop soon the floodgates will open and there will be no going back. when san’s hands move from rubbing the bare skin around your hips to dipping below the waistband of your pants, you know those gates are going to come crashing down any second now.

“tell me to stop,” san says breathlessly, barely pulling away from you. you muffle a “what?” into his mouth and he tries again. “if you don’t want this, say so right now. because i need you so bad, y/n. i’m ready if you are.”

“i am, yeah,” you reply, just as breathless. you pull away so you can meet his gaze when you speak so san knows you mean it. “i want you, san. i’m scared to admit how badly i want you, but i do. i just want you to be careful with me.”

“oh baby, i’ll treat you better than anyone else ever has,” he says, his eyes glistening in the dim light. despite being fully indoors, his gaze reminds you of the way the bonfire would reflect in his eyes as you fell for him week after week. it took you long enough but you’re able to see things clearly now: you’re falling for san, and that might not be a bad thing.

“then show me,” you challenge him, and he smirks before connecting your lips again. he carefully pulls your pants down and gives your hips a reassuring squeeze before he runs his fingertips ever so lightly over the outline of your panties. his touch moves back up your body, sliding your shirt up with his hands. he helps you take your shirt off, smiling brightly when you lay back down and your hair cascades around you in a halo.

“i haven’t said this enough, but you are so beautiful,” he whispers, and suddenly you feel shy under his gaze. you try to turn away but he grips your chin lightly and gives you a quick kiss. “don’t try to hide from me, baby.”

“ok,” you whisper back, but the way he’s looking at you still is so..serious. like there’s more he wants to say but he’s not, so you tug on his shirt to keep going. he gets the hint and slides it over his head, and your hands fly to his chest and trace the muscles there. “hey, you’re not too bad yourself, choir boy.”

“oh come on, choir boy?” he laughs.

“what? you don’t like it?” you pout, and he chuckles again.

“there’s just so many better things to call me, love.”

“hmm, like what, sir?” you tease, and san quirks an eyebrow at you. “oh you’re joking. eat shit, choi, i’m not calling you sir.”

“not tonight, but some other time maybe?” he asks, and he doesn’t give you time to reply before his hand dips back down to your panties. he starts tracing the fabric where it meets your skin again and asks politely, “can i?” before pulling them to the side to trace your folds instead. he groans at how wet you are, and your hips buck involuntarily at his touch. “you’re so wet, baby, you sure you didn’t like calling me sir?”

“just touch me, please,” you beg, and he nods.

“in a minute. trying to appreciate you first. never seen such a pretty pussy, baby.”

the way san focuses on your core, his fingers tracing up and down to spread your wetness around, it has you breathless and he’s barely done anything. you whine and lift your hips, signaling you want more, and san gets the hint. he slides your panties down your legs, and then lays down on his stomach, breath hitting your parted lips. you shiver, and he latches his thumb on your clit, sending a jolt from your core up your spine. he rubs slow circles there while his other hand spreads you open enough for him to dip his tongue in your entrance, and you let out your first moan. it’s louder than you meant to be, because you are still in a semi-public place, but san won’t have that.

“need you louder than that, y/n,” he warns. “want everyone to hear how good i make you feel.” and he dips back down, thumb still rubbing your clit, but the way san is teasing your cunt with his tongue has you needier than you’d like to be. the sight of him between your legs is enough to get you flustered, but the expert way he’s dipping his tongue in and then running it through your folds has your legs quivering already. when he brings a finger down to join his tongue at your entrance, you jolt and let out a little scream, which he shows his appreciation for with a groan. a certain flick of his finger inside you brings you closer to the edge, and you tug on his hair to get his attention.

“what’s wrong?” he asks, words slurred by your cunt that he hasn’t fully pulled away from yet.

“stop, san,” you beg, and he pauses immediately, head looking up to meet your eyes. “don’t wanna come yet. i wanna make you feel good.”

“jesus, baby, you scared me,” he said, crawling back over you. “thought i did something wrong.”

“well your technique could be improved,” you tease, and san slaps your pussy in response, pulling a mix between a moan and a yelp from your lips.

“hey, i was doing some of my best work down there,” he said. “guess you’ll just have to teach me how to get better, yeah?”

“stop talking,” you tell him, feeling your arousal dripping from you at the thought of doing this again with him. “want you on the bed.”

“anything for you,” he says with too much fondness in his voice, and you can’t meet his eyes as you switch places. you’re straddling his lap, hovering just above the tent in his jeans, hoping you don’t ruin his pants with how wet you are. your awkward pause has san nervous again, so he checks in. “what are you thinking about?”

“i wanna suck you off,” you reply, pouting. “can i take your pants off?”

“god, yes, please,” he replies, squeezing your hips for assurance again. “i’m all yours, baby.”

you shimmy down far enough to undo his jeans, and you look back up to san before you pull them down. he nods again, brushing hair out of your face as you place one gentle kiss to the bulge in front of you, and he whines. actually whines.

“baby, please, i said you could take them off,” he says breathlessly, and you laugh at how easy it is to rile him up. you get a hold of his pants and boxers and pull them both down, his length bouncing up at its release. you hate to admit it, but you’ve never seen a more beautiful cock. it’s like everything about san was carefully crafted by a god, and you’re just lucky to be the one who gets to appreciate it.

you pull his pants down a little more and then wrap your hand around his base, squeezing slightly to tease him, and he bucks into your fist with a groan. you kiss his tip next, giving it a few light touches before glancing up to san’s face, and you feel your pussy clench at the way he’s staring at you with his lip between his teeth and his hooded eyes. he’s trying his best to be quiet, which isn’t fair, because he wanted you to be loud, so why does he get to be quiet? you switch quickly from kissing his tip to swallowing as much as you can take, ripping a moan from deep within san’s chest. you swallow around him once, twice, before pulling all the way off with a deep breath. you suck on the tip, twisting your hand around the base, before you go down on him again, bobbing up and down quickly to keep san’s needy grunts coming. he pulls you from your focus though, grabbing you on both sides of your face to push you away gently. you start to protest, but he cuts you off quickly.

“i’m gonna come, wanna fuck you now,” he says in one breath. “can you pull my pants back up?”

“what?” you laugh. “how’s that gonna help us fuck?”

“need a condom, babe,” he replies, and you fall silent.

“sorry for laughing.”

“it’s ok,” he says as you rummage around in his pockets for his wallet. you hand it to him and he finds a foil packet, which he passes back to you. “to make up for it you gotta put it on.”

“yes sir,” you grumble, and now it’s san’s turn to laugh. you tear the packet open and successfully roll it over his rock hard length, but you spit on it a few times to get it wet, and san swears he could bust at that alone, but what comes out of your mouth next has him at a loss for words. “can i ride you?”

“mhm,” san nods, and he looks fucked out already just at the thought. he watches, entranced, as you climb on top of his lap and line his cock up at your entrance. he keeps his eyes locked on your movements as you sink down, and you let out the most beautiful moan when he’s fully sheathed inside you. the way you’re clenching around him should be a sin, and the way he’s stretching you and making you feel so full is unfair because you know you’ll never find anyone else who fits you like he does. you sit still for another beat, and while you’re still, san reaches up to unclasp your bra, watching with stars in his eyes as it falls down your arms. you toss it aside and lean forward to place your hands on san’s chest, holding his gaze as you slide back up his cock and lower yourself down slowly. you do this a few times, taking the time to try to read the expression in san’s eyes. you’ve seen it once before, and you know that it’s love. it may be unspoken, but it’s there, and the realization has you clenching at the thought.

“you feel so good san,” you tell him, reaching up to tweak one of your nipples as you start to bounce on his cock. he knocks your hand away and watches you for a moment before his hands are on your chest, massaging your tits in the most delicious way. you gasp when he pinches your nipples, and you buck against him in a way that grinds your clit against him, and the slight pressure brings you back to the edge. “i’m so close, love. just a little more.” san gets the hint and moves one hand down to rub your clit again, his mouth open in a silent moan as you tighten around him. you keep bouncing, trying to reach your high, and the gasp that san lets out tells you he’s just come, so he frantically rubs your clit to get you there too.

“come on baby,” he says. “show me how pretty you are when you come. let me see you lose yourself in this, in us.” and you’re over the edge, moaning his name as he bucks into you to help ride your high. you slow down on top of him, and he pulls you down to lay on his chest, his cock softening inside you as he buries his head in your neck. “good girl, did so good for me. i lo-um, uh...you did good baby.” you take a few moments to catch your breath before you speak.

“san,” you say seriously, balancing your chin on his chest as you look up. “are we gonna unpack any of that?”

“any of what?” he asks with a smile. “i had a great time.”

“i know you did,” you groan.

“didn’t you?” he asks, a little disappointment evident in his voice.

“yeah, i did-”

“then there’s nothing to unpack, baby,” he says, gently shoving your head back onto his chest. “just rest for a minute and then i’ll get us cleaned up.”

the following sunday, you find yourself at church, alone again. no family this week, but you’re in your usual pew and san is in the choir loft. he smiles at you when he sees you, and you tentatively smile back. you’ve come to church today to break things off with him, so you’re not exactly in a smiling mood.

it’s nothing against him. he’s great. he’s too great, actually. you’re just too scared to get into something that will hurt you again, and after the way san looked at you and the way he treated you with so much care and love...you feel yourself going to a place you don’t need to be in. you try not to look at him much throughout the service, because you don’t want to play his little games. and you also know that he could give you a single look and break all your resolve in a second.

immediately after the sermon, you sneak out to the lobby, hoping to find san before the next service starts. you see the purple robes coming out of the sanctuary and take a deep breath. but one of the sweet choir ladies interrupts your thoughts.

“oh, y/n, are you the young lady sannie has been talking about lately?” she asks. “he was telling us last week he started seeing one of the girls from the congregation, i just never thought it’d be you! oh dear i’m so thrilled. you make that boy very happy, you know?”

“i know,” you smile with a nod. “thank you ma’am.”

“what was that about?” san asks, walking up just as the lady leaves.

“uh, she was just asking me how my mom is,” you lie, smiling to san. “good singing today, choir boy.”

“why’d you leave the service early?” he asks, looking at you like he knows there’s more you want to say but won’t.

“i gotta leave soon, meeting friends for lunch?” you say, and he nods. “and i thought we’d get our weekly scheduled flirting out of the way before i go.”

“well i gotta say you’ve caught me on an off day, sweets,” he says. “don’t have much to say on my end. except thank you.”

“for what?”

“for the other night,” he smiles kindly. “it was nice.”

“yeah,” you nod, lips tight. “shame you don’t wanna flirt with me though.”

“maybe i’ll think of something good and call you later?” he offers, and you nod again.

“hm, yeah, maybe,” you say. then, awkwardly, you tell him you have to go, and he nods back. you walk away, leaving san...confused? that was weird, right? you were off somehow. san didn’t have much time to read into it though because the service finally let out, and the sound of church members drowns out his thoughts. he just goes back to the choir room, contemplating what might be wrong and worrying the whole time that he’s gonna lose you before you’re even fully his to lose.

that week, you text san and tell him you can’t come to bible study on thursday. his response is normal enough, if not a little formal for him, but you don’t read much into it. you just go about your week, and when thursday night rolls around, you’ve completely forgotten about bible study. and then you hear a knock at your door. you check the time and immediately know it must be san, maybe he just forgot you said you weren’t coming? so you groan to yourself and crack the door open just slightly to see a tired san standing on the other side of the door.

“hey, i’m not going tonight, remember? i’ve gotta clean before my family visits tomorrow,” you tell him, and he nods.

“yeah, i remember,” he replies simply. “i uh, i wanted to know if we could talk?”

“about?” you ask, and he smiles shyly at you.

“i think it’s time for us to unpack some things, baby.”

“san, please, not tonight,” you start, and he just shakes his head.

“no can do, sweets,” he says, holding something up. “i brought your favorite, so you at least have to let me in so we can share.”

“from that greek place?” you ask, and he nods with a smile. you step aside and let him in, and he heads to the kitchen.

“want me to make your plate?” he asks, setting everything on the counter.

“sure,” you nod. “use what’s in the dishwasher. should be clean.”

“ok,” he says simply, and he gets to work serving dinner. he eventually brings over two plates, joining you on the couch. “this one’s yours.”

you eat in silence for a few minutes, you making your little greek tacos like normal and san stealing your chicken every other bite. it’s comfortable even though the situation is awkward, and you don’t want to ruin the nice moment. but you owe it to san to at least explain why you’ve been acting off, so here goes nothing.

“so,” you begin.

“so.”

“i know i’ve kinda blown you off the past few days,” you say, and san hums in agreement. “i just...don’t think it was good for me, spending so much time with you, so soon. and i’m sorry i didn’t tell you that i needed space.”

“that’s alright,” san says, holding your gaze before he leans forward to take another bite from your plate. “and i should have told you sooner that you’ve got me wrapped around your finger.”

“oh i could tell.”

“really?” san laughs. “and i thought i was doing so well. guess i didn’t hide my feelings as much as i thought.”

“no you didn’t, sweetcheeks,” you say, and he smiles at the nickname. “flirting with me so much made it pretty clear. and you always get this sappy look in your eyes when you look at me, so. i knew it was coming. i just don’t think i’m ready for something like that right now.”

“and why is that?” san asks. he’s staring at you with that look you were just talking about, which is distracting, so it takes a second for you to reply.

“i just...feel like you’re looking for something more than i can give,” you explain. “i don’t want anything permanent right now.”

“who said i wanted something permanent? i just want you.”

“and that’s the problem,” you whine. “i like you san, i really do. but i’m not. i don’t think i can get into something with you without one of us getting hurt. because you’re wonderful, really. i love spending time with you, and i’m attracted to you more than i can admit, so it’s hard for me to be around you and not want something more than flirty comments or a fuck here and there.”

“then let’s just take it slow,” he says, grabbing your hand. “like you always wanted from the beginning. let’s start dating, but super casual. no expectations, just whatever feels right. and whenever you need space, just tell me, ok?” he squeezes your hand and you mutter out a shy “ok” in response. “but i need to warn you about something, sweets.”

“and what is that?” you ask, stomach dropping at the thought of something bad.

“unfortunately,” he sighs, “i’m only going to get more wonderful.”

“oh shut up,” you laugh, nudging his shoulder. “be serious.”

“i am, baby!”

“well, baby, why don’t you start being wonderful and help me put away the clean dishes?”

“only if you keep calling me that instead of choir boy.”

“we’ll see how it goes,” you tease, and he pecks your lips before he stands and takes your plates.

“so are you gonna tell me where everything goes, or?”

#choi san #choi san smut #choi san one shot #choi san imagine #choi san fanfic #choi san fic #san fic #san smut #san fluff #choi san fluff #san one shot #san imagine #ateez #ateez fanfic #ateez fic #ateez x reader #san x reader #ateez smut #ateez fluff

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willalove75 · 9 months

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The Estate | Lady Dimitrescu x Fem!oc

WHAT DAY IS IT?! IT'S MY BIRTHDAY?! WOOHOO!!! I hope you all join me as I enter the final year of my 20s! And since one of my love languages is gift-giving, I am giving you all a present today! I debated on releasing this earlier this summer but I wanted to get a few chapters done before I did - and get a little further into Alcina's New Maid before I started putting out chapters. But ANM will still be updated weekly! Fear not! (And I know chapter 16 is late, I didn't get to finish it yesterday so I will finish it either today or tomorrow I promise!) Ideally, I would love to update this fic weekly as well but I just don't know if that is realistic so I am aiming for a bi-weekly or monthly update for this. Might be a little more frequently, might not. So I apologize in advance for irregular updates for this until I can get myself on a reasonable writing schedule! I do have a couple of chapters done already but I want to try and have a few chapters lined up as they're released. Unlike ANM where I literally brain-dump each chapter each week (usually done in a single day) and post it after I read it over a couple of times. Anyway, I hope you all enjoy this fic since it's been rotting my brain for MONTHS and I literally have not been able to stop thinking about it and coming up with ideas/expanding on my ideas literally every fucking day for the last like, 4 months? LOL

Summary: It's been a tough few years for you. After a tragedy that left you to raise your three year old, Emma, as a single parent, you're finally starting to get back on your feet. Recently hired as a marketing & social media strategist for Dimitrescu Estate, a new chapter of your life is just beginning.

Warnings: 18+ minors DNI

Tags: Slow burn, fluff, angst, smut, flirty

I'll add more tags as needed!

Notes: I know I have so many other requests I should be doing but once again my mind has been plagued by this story I came up with and I need to get it out of my headddd.

Also, this is a blended oc/reader fic. Using "you" has become so engrained into my writing it's almost impossible to not add it (as opposed to writing she/her), but I will be giving the oc a name and describing her! Ik that's not everyone's cup of tea so I apologize in advance but I hope you enjoy it regardless! It'll be written in a similar fashion as Safety and Dimitrescu Books for those of you who are wondering what that will be like and/or read those (fucking amazing and wonderful) fics!

You take in the beautiful field around you, the crystal blue sky, the tall grass blowing in the breeze. Even though you have no idea where you are, it's warm and you have a fullness in your heart you haven't felt in a long time. In the distance you spot a familiar figure.

"It can't be-" you begin to say.

The figure continues to walk in your direction, but doesn't seem to get any closer. You begin to take a few steps forward, your legs feel like lead, slowing your movements. You try to run but you can't - desperate to get closer to the figure. You try and cry out to them but there's no sound when you scream. Using all of your power to move forward, each step becomes more difficult than the last. The figure walking towards you stops and stands still. With tears in your eyes you try and cry out again, and just like last time, there's no sound. The figure begins to move forward again. This time it finally seems like it's coming closer. Their face covered by shadow. You take step after step, using all of your strength to make your way to the figure. You're almost close enough to make out their face as tears stain your cheeks.

You're jolted awake by your alarm clock. Groaning, you reach over to the nightstand to shut it off. Looking down at your pillow you see teardrops scattered across it. Wiping your eyes you realize you were crying in your sleep again. You look up at the clock. 6am. You put your head back down and turn to the other side, reaching your arm across the empty side of the bed. Gently grabbing the pillow next to you, you take a deep, grounding breath and finally get up.

You exit your room and quietly open the other bedroom door. Inside is your three year old daughter, Emma, fast asleep in her toddler bed. Closing the door you make your way into the bathroom and turn the shower on. Pulling your hair out of it's messy ponytail you begin to undresses. Catching a glance of yourself in the mirror, the darkness hides most of what you see. Unless Emma is with you, every shower you've taken for the last two years has been in the dark. You had grown tired of looking into the mirror and seeing the dark circles under your eyes, noticing that you had lost weight - just looking at yourself in the mirror and seeing a shell of your former self. Even though you feel like you've been able to reclaim a lot of yourself in the last year, you always have a feeling of emptiness looming in your chest.

After showering you check the baby monitor, noticing Emma is beginning to stir, you quickly get dressed and walk into the bedroom. You make you way over to the toddler bed and sit on the edge, running your fingers through the little girls wild curls.

"Good morning my love." You quietly say.

The little girl turns her head and looks up at you, a sleepy smile crosses her face.

"Good morning mommy." She says with a yawn.

"Come on baby, lets get you up." You say, reaching down to pick up the girl, who sits up and reaches for you.

Lifting Emma out of the bed, she cuddles into your neck. You hold the back of her head and take a deep breath in, the empty ache in your chest eases some. After entering the kitchen you put the girl in her booster seat at the table and begin making breakfast for the both of you.

After breakfast you clean up the kitchen and get Emma dressed and put her in the playpen in the living room with her toys while you finish getting yourself ready.

You finish packing up the diaper bag and throwing a few of Emma's toys into another bag. After grabbing the rest of your own things you take Emma out of the playpen and head downstairs.

"Good morning Margie." You say.

"Oh Katie! Good morning!"

A small, elderly woman gets up from the kitchen table and walks up to the two of you.

"Good morning Margie!" Emma says.

"And good morning to you too princess." She says, squeezing the baby's chubby cheeks. "You want coffee hon?"

"No thanks, I'll grab something on my way, I don't want to be late."

"Oh right! Today's the first day of that new job, how are you feeling?"

"I'm excited, I'm looking forward to working in my field again."

"That's great but you know that's not what I meant." She says flatly. "How are you feeling?"

Knowing what she means you look down for a moment and then back up at Margie.

"I'm okay, I'm hanging in there." Margie gives you a look. "I mean, barely, but I'm hanging in there. I'm terrified to leave her." You say looking at Emma as your eyes begin to gloss over. "But I know it's what I have to do, and I really do miss working, I need some sort of normalcy back in my life."

Margie brings her hand to your face and wipes away the stray tear that fell.

"You're gonna do great kid. Knock 'em dead." She says with a smile and pats Katie's cheek.

"Thanks Marge."

With Emma and your things in tow you head to the car, putting Emma in her car seat and dropping your bags in the front passenger seat. When you pull out of the driveway you beep and wave at Marge who's waving from the front door and head off.

"Mommy! Mommy!" Emma says.

"Yes baby, what is it?"

"I want Baby Shark!"

You groan a little, it's just barely 8am and you haven't had coffee, Baby Shark may actually make you snap right now.

"Mommy pleaseeeee!" Emma whines.

"Okay fine."

Her whining is so much worse than Baby Shark, so you oblige. The music starts and Emma starts laughing and clapping her hands and sings along. You do your best to drown it out with your thoughts.

"Mommy! Sing Mommy shark!"

Looking at the girl through the rearview mirror you smile.

"Okay, okay." You say. "Mommy shark do do do do do do, Mommy shark do do do do do do Mommy shark!"

Emma squeals with happiness, you can listen to her laugh all day. It's one of the few things that's been able to get you through the last couple of years.

Pulling up to your in-laws house, you grab the diaper bag, Emma's toys and Emma and head to the front door.

"Nana!!!" Emma squeals when your mother-in-law opens the door.

"Good morning my baby!" She says as she picks Emma up and squeezes her. "Good morning Katie." She hugs you and kisses you on the cheek.

"Morning mom." You say and hug her back. "Thank you so much for watching her, really."

"Of course, I'd do anything for my grandbaby!" She says putting Emma down so she can go play. "Come in, sit."

"I can only stay for a minute, I gotta grab coffee on my way."

"Oh nonsense, I'll make you some and send you with one of our travel mugs, don't waste your money."

Her kindness makes you smile. Not only does your mother-in-law make the best coffee you've ever had, her warmth is always something that's comforted you. After you take a seat at the kitchen table you hear footsteps coming down the stairs.

"Who's in my house?!" You hear a voice playfully yell.

Emma's squealing laugh rings through the house as you hear footsteps walk towards the direction she ran off in. Your mother-in-law puts a cup of coffee down in front of you and the smell is to die for.

"Thanks mom." You say with a smile.

"Good morning sunshine!" Looking over you see your father-in-law with Emma in his arms.

"Morning dad." You say as he kisses you on the cheek.

"Oh coffee? Michelle can you make me a cup?" He asks, looking over at his wife.

"Of course."

"So Katie, you excited for your first day at the new job?" He asks.

"I am, a little nervous, but I'm excited to start working again."

"Yeah it's about time." He says playfully.

"Richard." Michelle hisses as she puts his coffee down in front of him.

"I'm only joking!"

Michelle rolls her eyes at him and sits down at the table. "So which vineyard are you working at again?"

"Dimitrescu Estate."

"Oh right, I've been there a few times, it's a nice place. Very pretty, and they have great wine." She says.

"What are you doing there?" Richard asks.

"Marketing and social media, pretty much the same thing I did at the last place."

"That's right."

Looking down at your watch you realize the time.

"Crap I have to go or I'm gonna be late." You say, getting up.

Michelle gets up, grabs your coffee cup and pours it into a travel mug, pops the top onto it and hands it to you.

"There you go sweetheart."

"Thanks mom." You say, hugging her.

"Okay love, mommy has to go, have fun with Nana and Pop!" You place a kiss on Emma's head and the baby's face scrunches, signaling she's about to wail.

"Hey Emma? Wanna go to the park with me?" Richard asks.

Her face lights up at the word "park", meltdown averted.

"YES!" She screams.

"Thank you." You whisper to Richard and kiss him on the cheek. "Thank you so much for looking after her." You say as you head towards the door.

"We'll take her any day of the week!" Richard says.

"Love you honey." Michelle says.

"Love you guys too!"

"Good luck!" Richard calls out after her.

Once you're out the door Michelle swats Richard with a dishtowel.

"Ow! What was that for?"

"'About time?' Really Richard?" She scolds him.

"What? I was kidding, she knows I was!"

Michelle rolls her eyes at him and leaves the kitchen.

You jump into your car and plug in the address of the vineyard. You had been there a few years ago when you went to the wineries with your friends; hopping to and from the various establishments in the area, but that was it. Your first interview was over the phone, the second one, a Zoom interview, you couldn't even see your new boss' face because her webcam was broken. All you were able to hear was the woman's voice. It had a silky tone - sultry, even - if you were being honest. Aside from that, you knew nothing about her, you really weren't even sure if the woman you spoke with was the owner or just an employee.

Pulling up to the vineyard you put your car in park. You pull your necklace out of your shirt and hold onto it, your fingers tracing the outline of the heart shape. After taking a deep breath and exhaling, you drop the necklace back down under your shirt. You grab your bags and head inside.

The memories of the time you and your friends were here come flooding back as you walk in. You admire the ornate style of the room - it's just as pretty as it was when you were here last. As you look around you spot a beautiful grand piano tucked away in the corner and you take note of the jazz music softly playing over the speakers.

"Sorry, we don't open until 11." A slightly aggravated voice says.

You look over and see a young girl cleaning the bar, looking at you, visibly annoyed. She can't be older than 20, dark brown, almost black hair. She's wearing a tight black t-shirt with various silver necklaces dangling from her neck.

"Oh, I'm Katie, the new marketing and social media strategist."

The girls demeanor softens, but not much.

"MOM!!" She yells towards the back. "MOM!!!"

A blond girl runs out from the kitchen area.

"Cassandra shut it, mom's on the phone!"

The dark haired girl, Cassandra, rolls her eyes.

"Can you take her to go see mom?" She asks the blond, nodding towards you.

"Nope, sorry, I have to go, I have class in a little bit."

"Bela pleaseeeee." Cassandra whines.

"No Cass, I'm leaving, bye!" The blond disappears into the kitchen again and Cassandra rolls her eyes.

"Follow me."

She leads you to the back of the winery where the offices are. There aren't many offices, but in each one there's someone diligently working.

Cassandra stops at the door furthest away and throws it open.

"Mom!"

The woman behind the desk snaps her attention up to her daughter with intensity in her eyes. Her phone pressed against her ear. She holds a finger up to Cassandra signaling for her to wait, but never breaks eye contact with her.

The woman is beautiful. Jet black hair with near perfect curls that fall just under her jawline. Gorgeous grey-blue eyes, full lips painted with the perfect shade of crimson red. She's wearing a white button down, the first few buttons undone - just enough to show off her large chest but covered up enough to still be professional. The sleeves are neatly rolled to her elbows, you also take note of her perfectly manicured nails, painted black. She's wearing layered, elegant gold necklaces that accentuate her neckline. She has a few rings and a matching bracelet on to pull the look together.

"Am nevoie de transport până săptămâna viitoare. . . Nu, abia așteaptă. . . Trebuie să plec. . . La revedere."

(I need the shipment by next week. . . No, it can't wait. . . I have to go. . . Goodbye.)

She places the phone into its cradle and her eyes snap back to Cassandra.

"What have I told you about yelling across the building?" Her voice is stern, matching the intensity in her eyes.

"I'm sorry, but I-"

"Were you dying?"

"What?"

Her question surprised and confused you too.

"Were you dying?"

"No?"

"Was one of your sisters dying or gravely injured?"

"No."

"Was there any emergency whatsoever?"

Cassandra sighs. "No."

"Then there is no reason for you to be screaming across my tasting room. Understood?"

"Yes mom." She says, hanging her head.

"Now what is it that you needed?" The woman's tone softens.

"The new girl is here. The social media whatever?"

The woman groans, putting her fingers to the bridge of her nose.

"Cassandra. You act like that in front of our new employee?" She grumbles. "Go, finish your morning tasks." She says, waving the girl off.

Cassandra lets out an exaggerated "UGH" accompanied by a dramatic eye roll and begins to walk away.

"Și dacă nu remediați această atitudine, vă voi trimite înapoi în România." She calls after her.

(And if you don't fix that attitude I will ship you back to Romania.)

"Sorry mom." Cassandra looks at her mom who raised eyebrow at her.

The woman nods her away.

"I apologize for that, she can be quite difficult sometimes." She says as her eyes follow her daughter while she walks away. When Cassandra is out of view her eyes snap to you.

"Oh, it's no worry at all." You say with a soft smile.

"It's a pleasure to finally meet you. Please, take a seat." She gestures to the chair in front of her desk.

The woman reaches her hand out across her desk as you sit.

"Alcina Dimitrescu, owner and operator of Dimitrescu Estate."

Your hand meets hers for a firm handshake. "Katie Moore, it's great to finally meet you as well."

"Is Katie short for anything?" She asks.

"Uh, yeah, Kathleen." You say.

"Kathleen, what a beautiful name. Do you prefer Katie over Kathleen?"

"Oh it doesn't really matter to me. I'll respond to both."

"Wonderful. Well then Kathleen, welcome. We'll go over the job responsibilities. I'll have you fill out some paperwork and then I'll show you around the facility."

"Sounds good."

Alcina goes over what the job requirements are, what she expects of you, where the person who was in your position had left off, the usual.

"And you will get a company laptop, you can leave it here, take it home, doesn't matter much to me. As long as it's well taken care of." She picks up the phone and presses a few numbers on t he keypad and you hear the intercom go off.

"Cassandra, my office please." She hangs the phone up and looks back at you. "Cassandra has set up your laptop, if there's anything else you need, any programs you use that aren't installed, she can take care of that for you."

Cassandra walks into the office, seemingly in a better mood than earlier.

"What's up mom?"

"Can you please bring me Kathleen's laptop."

"On it." She says and walks away.

"Now for the paperwork. I'll have you fill out these and then I'll take down some of your information." She says as she hands you a W2 and some other new employee paperwork.

She hands you a pen and you begin to fill out the paperwork on her desk as she turns her attention back to her computer.

"Here you go mom." Cassandra says, handing her mom a laptop box.

"Thank you draga. Almost done with your morning tasks?"

"Yup, just gotta put out the spill trays and then I'm done."

"Excellent, thank you draga mea."

Cassandra leaves as you finish filling out the paperwork. You trade her the paperwork for the laptop box and place it on the chair next to you.

"Okay, now I just need some of your information."

She takes down your address, phone number, birthdate, etc.

"And who is your emergency contact? God forbid something were to happen."

"Uh, Jake-" You stop yourself, shaking your head as you feel your heart sink. "Sorry, uh," Alcina looks at you over her reading glasses. "It'll be my mom, I guess, Deborah Wilson."

Alcina takes down your moms information and places her glasses on her desk.

"Excellent, now that that's out of the way, I will show you the facility. You can leave your things here."

Alcina pushes her chair away from her desk and stands up, you're taken back at how tall she is. She's damn near 7 feet tall. Alcina is easily a foot taller than you. With your work heels you're 5'4" on a good day. In her heels, Alcina is easily 6'5"-6'6".

You take notice of Alcina's full outfit - and her body. Her black stilettos, high waisted, wide legged dress pants accentuate her long legs. A thick belt with a black belt buckle that frames her waist, showing off her round hips. Her ensemble is reminiscent of the 1940s-1950s, but with a modern twist. It's obvious she has a great sense of style.

Alcina walks effortlessly through the halls in her stilettos as she shows you around the facility. She tells you what each room is, what its purpose is for and tells you a little bit of history of the place. She explains that there are a few other buildings on the property where the grapes are sent to and where the wine is made and bottled, but that this is the main building. Alcina takes you through the kitchen and into the vineyard a bit to show the different grapes that are put into making the wine.

Next on the tour, she brings you down into the wine cellar. You were expecting a dreary basement, but you're surprised when you see a beautiful wine cellar. It looks like something out of a movie.

Wine racks line the walls from floor to ceiling, housing hundreds - maybe even a thousand - bottles of wine. The stone archway along with the wooden accents and shelves give the room a rustic yet elegant feel. There's a gorgeous wooden table in the center with four chairs. The set looks like it's custom made.

As you look around the room you see Alcina walk over to one of the racks. She moves a wine barrel to the side like it weighed nothing.

"Even if that thing is empty, it still has to weigh a ton." You think to yourself.

Alcina examines the rack and carefully pulls a bottle off of it.

"And this, this is what started it all." She says, handing you the bottle.

As you examine the bottle you note the beautiful gold and red details around it. It looks expensive. The label on the front reads:

"Sanguis Virginis."

"Precisely, Romanian for Maiden's Blood." Alcina says with a smile as she takes the bottle and returns it to its place.

You don't even realize the confused expression on your face until you hear Alcina chuckle at it.

"Obviously, not made with real blood. My ancestors originate from Romania, my great-grandfather it was I believe who first began making Sanguis Virginis, well over a hundred years ago at his vineyard in Romania. Eventually the business was passed down to me, however I decided to take it in a bit of a different direction. Since I was already established here in the US when I acquired the business, I purchased this property and turned it into what it is today. We've expanded our collection and now we make over 25 different wine. And I import other things such as ciders and beers from both Romania and local breweries for our customers to enjoy. No longer do we just make and sell the wine to distributers."

Alcina looks around the wine cellar with pride, you can see the passion for her family's business in her eyes.

"Any questions?"

"No, I think you covered everything. It's beautiful down here."

"Why thank you. The cellar is my personal favorite room on the entire property."

"I can see why, it's stunning."

You take in the rest of your surroundings. The warm wood absorbs the lighting, giving the room a soft yet bright glow. It's a large cellar but somehow it still feels cozy.

"Alright, lets head back upstairs, shall we? We should be opening in a few minutes and I like to do a once-over to make sure everything is in place." Alcina says.

"Sounds good."

Alcina leads you out of the wine cellar and back up to the tasting room. Cassandra and another bartender are behind the bar, drying glasses and putting them away. Alcina swipes her finger across the piano, inspects it, and nods in approval. You notice her glace at the piano again, looking at it with adoration.

"Do you play?" You ask.

"Lifetimes ago." She says with a smile. "But I wasn't very good."

"Mom what are you talking about?" Cassandra says from the bar. "You're one of the best piano players I've ever heard."

"Thank you draga." She says, smiling at her daughter.

After her inspection is complete she walks to the front doors and opens them, pulling the doorstop down with the bottom of her heel. She flips the "closed" sign over to "open" and makes her way to the massive floor to ceiling windows that line the wall across from the bar. She unlocks each window and pushes on the side of the frame to open them, making sure each window is open at the same angle.

"She's so anal retentive when she opens." Cassandra says, half complaining and half just saying it out loud.

"I can hear you." Alcina says from across the room.

Cassandra rolls her eyes and continues to put the glasses away.

Making her way over the the double glass doors leading to the outside patio, Alcina props them open allowing a cool summer breeze through the tasting room.

She gives the room another once-over. When she's satisfied she nods to herself again and looks at Cassandra.

"Everything looks wonderful. If you need me, you know where to find me. Kathleen," She says, turning to you. "lets finish getting you set up."

Alcina leads you back to her office. You feel your phone buzz in your pocket, and a sudden chill runs up your spine. Quickly taking it out, you see a text from Michelle. Your heart begins to race as you open the message. A sigh of relief is released when you realize it's just some photos of Emma, covered in flour, helping Michelle make cookies.

"Everything alright?" Alcina says.

Focused on opening the text message, you didn't even realize that you stopped following Alcina.

"Oh, yes, sorry." You say as you catch up with her. "Just my mother-in-law, she's watching my daughter today and was giving me an update."

"You have a daughter?" Alcina asks, a little surprised as they walk into her office.

"Yeah, Emma, she's about 3 and a half." You say, sitting back down.

Alcina glances down at your hands, taking notice of an absent wedding ring on your left ring finger. She also notices a ring that looks like it could be a wedding band on your right ring finger.

"How sweet. It's a fun age. Although from my experience with the girls, it's the terrible three's that are the hardest. Two was an easy age."

"I wholeheartedly agree with that. She's wonderful but likes to get herself into all kinds of things. Luckily, besides her insatiable curiosity for things that can hurt her, she's a really good kid."

Alcina laughs, pulling a smile across your face.

"Children are wonderful, until they become teenagers that is. That's when the real fun begins." She says sarcastically.

"Oh, I could only imagine. It makes me cringe as a parent now when I think of all of the things I said and did when I was a teenager."

"Oh, so you were a bad kid?" She asks with a raised eyebrow.

A light blush creeps across your cheeks. "I wouldn't say I was a bad kid. At least I wasn't worse than your average teenager."

Alcina gives you a smirk, the corner of her lip curled into a half smile.

"Is she flirting with me?" The thought flashes across your mind but you quickly dismiss it. This is your new boss, Alcina's just being nice, it's your first day here. There's no way she's flirting with you right now.

"So, I will show you to your office and let you get yourself settled." Alcina says.

Grabbing your bag and the laptop box, Alcina leads you to the room closest to her office and flicks the lights on.

It's a modest little office, on the left you see an L shaped desk in the corner against the glass window facing the hallway. On top sits two monitors, a desk chair and a small desk lamp. To the right is a small empty bookshelf. The office isn't anything fancy, but it's yours, and you're surprisingly excited about it.

"Please feel free to decorate it how you see fit." Alcina says, checking her watch. "I have a meeting in a few minutes, but I'll stop by again this afternoon to check and see how things are going. Cassandra should have left you a list of our social media logins." She says, walking over to the desk and picking up a sheet of paper. "Here it is. Take a look at them and when I get back I'd love to hear your thoughts on how you think they're doing and of course, what could be improved." She says, handing you the paper. "You did mention on your resume photography skills, yes?"

"Yes, and some videography and video editing skills as well."

"Excellent. The channels were being run by my eldest, Bela. But since she's has an internship beginning soon she no longer has the time. And since our last marketing director left, things have been in a bit of a disarray. Hopefully it won't be too overwhelming." She says, trying to gauge your reaction.

"I'm always up for a good challenge." You say with a smile.

Alcina gives a nod of approval and spins around on her heel to leave.

"I must be off. I'll be back in a little while to check in, if there's anything you need please seek out Cassandra. If she's doing what she's supposed to, you'll find her behind the bar in the tasting room."

"Sounds good, thank you."

"And Kathleen," Alcina says, turning back towards you. "Welcome to Dimitrescu Estate."

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qqueenofhades · 5 months

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as a starting history major i wanna ask how do you read/evaluate academic history papers/books? i'm trying to avoid just blindly agreeing with whatever the author is writing because it seems correct. how can you tell what is good scholarship and what is more shaky?

This is a great question for you as a freshman history major to ask (many of my toiling colleagues and I can attest that we wish more of you would!) and shows that you're already taking initiative and investment in your studies and want to be the best prepared you can. So truly -- thank you! Us on the faculty/staff/administrative end of academia can feel as if we are pouring into an empty bucket at times, and it's always gratifying to hear otherwise. We really appreciate it.

As a college freshman and/or underclassman (or so I'm assuming) your first job is learning how to collect basic information from the things you read, collate and cite them accurately, and make them converse intelligently with each other in an entry-level piece of academic writing (such as an essay responding to an assigned prompt). So before you have to worry about understanding complex nuance and granular-level fact-checking, the first step is just getting comfortable with academic forms, styles, and conventions. There's an occasional anti-intellectual strand of thinking that pops up on Tumblr, basically insisting that everyone everywhere should be able to understand everything in fifth-grade words and if not then it's Elitist Gatekeeping, but this is a symptom of TikTok brainrot where people's brains have been literally rewired to only process spoon-fed chunks of incredibly simplistic (and uh, often wrong) information, and literally can't parse anything longer, even if it's written in accessible language. Yes, many academics are not necessarily great writers, but you also have to let go of the mindset that you can speed-read once and understand everything. You will need to slow down, take your time, and make a note of concepts that are confusing or that you want to double-check, words you need to look up, and things that make you say "hmm I should look into that more," whether because you're interested or they seem questionable. I always read academic texts or papers (I prefer hard copy, because I am Fucking Old) with a pen in hand, because if I don't, I often feel like I didn't read it at all.

Basically, this is an interactive process between you and the text, and requires you to develop a different kind of reading mentality than just buzzing through a novel or fanfic for pleasure. You have to expect that it will take time and that if you regularly skive off the readings, you won't be prepared for class, your professors will be annoyed, and you won't be able to write good essays, because you haven't engaged with the material. In your case, it sounds like that will be less of a problem, because you are eager to know how to do it right, but I can tell you from my experience that nothing frustrates us more than students who just won't do the reading (and you know, use ChatGPT to write their essays) because then what are you even DOING here? What do you want to get out of this? Why are you wasting your precious tuition money like this? Yes, you probably have to fill a requirement, but STILL. It's disrespectful to your teacher, who has invested a lot of effort in being here to help you with this and doesn't want you to just quit because it looks hard, and your peers, and to you. So anyway, /Captain Holt voice/ apparently that's a trigger for me. Basically, if you learn nothing else from this ask: please do the reading. Even if it's only to admit you need more help or want to talk about this concept in class or otherwise take advantage of all the structures that are in fact there to help you understand it! Thankee.

Likewise, because you're an underclassman, you have an advantage in that your teacher will select the class readings for you ahead of time. That means you will be receiving things that a professional has already checked, decided are useful and trustworthy, and you don't have to do independent research and vetting yourself (that will come if you decide for some godforsaken reason to pursue graduate and/or doctoral study). So you don't need to spend tons of extra time and effort deciding if the sources given to you in class are reliable on a basic and functional level; your professor has already done the work for you to make sure that they are. Your job is now to read those sources, keep a record of what they say (hence the aforementioned pen or other way to make quick notes) and figure out how to put them together in an essay. For example, if Author A cites Factor A as, say, the main cause of the fall of the Western Roman Empire, and Author B insists that Factor B was in fact more critical, what is your best approach to reconciling that information? You would search in the rest of those texts to see what else they say in support of their position, and you would probably end up with a qualified statement to the effect of, "While Author A argues A, Author B thinks B, representing the lack of consensus and the difficulty in attributing one single cause to an event as complicated as the fall of Rome." (And then because you're smart, you would go on to mention Byzantium and the Eastern Roman Empire and show that you are aware of the further context.) All of which is true! Historians do that all the time! You don't need to select THE RIGHT ANSWER and vigorously discredit all other theories, ever, and we tend to look suspiciously on people who do (cough cough Philippa Langley).

In other words, we are certainly not expecting you as a freshman, and even as a more advanced student, to be able to pick out ONE ANSWER from the material. We just want to see evidence that you have in fact read it, are able to evaluate and place theories side by side and possibly make a judgment as to which one you find more compelling, and also to properly cite where you got that information. We've seen a lot recently about plagiarism and that being the pretext on which Harvard president Claudine Gay was forced to resign (which is a whole other can of worms, but never mind). A lot of professors think that saying "Don't Do Plagiarism" is enough, but then don't explain what it is and the different forms it can take. It's not just a matter of copying verbatim chunks of someone else's work (or you know, ALL OF IT, like certain recently discredited YouTube scumbags) and acting like it's your own. If you are relying substantially on someone else's work, whether in their wording, arguments, conclusions, structure, or anything else, even if you've changed some of the words (yep, still plagiarism!), that needs to be cited appropriately according to the relevant style guide. Direct quotes from anyone need to go in quotation marks or indented blocks and have the author cited immediately afterward. History usually uses Chicago, MLA, or MHRA, and you can find cheat sheets for how to do that online. It's a pretty simple and straightforward style, and your professor will be extra impressed.

If you're expected to do an independent project or a senior research thesis, as some undergraduate history students do, then it will come when you have already had three years of experience in reading, evaluating, and writing historical scholarship, you will probably have a faculty member assigned to you for one-on-one mentoring and personalized feedback sessions, and they will be able to provide suggestions and support for useful sources. So even then, you still don't have to do it entirely on your own. They'll probably also be MORE than happy to debate with you which ones are good and which ones are suspect, because it's all a part of developing your ability to flex that muscle for yourself. (And as noted, faculty members Will Have Strong Opinions.) That likewise doesn't mean you just have to copy whatever they say (at least if you have a good teacher who wants you to think for yourself and not just be a mini-clone of their pet theories), but it means that by the time you reach that stage, you will have been prepared enough to feel confident in taking more steps on your own. I think not enough people realize that studying history (or anything, really) isn't just throwing you out there and being like "tough luck sucker, do it all yourself."

That's why academia is so collaborative, why plenty of historians with doctorates and tenure will still have to say "I don't know, let me get back to you" when someone asks them a question at a conference, and you don't have to fear that if you don't have The One Right Answer, you will be immediately exposed as a fraud and thrown out. History as a discipline is also moving away from the 19th-century German approach that attempted to systematize it as a singular social science with One Right Answer, and to focus more on multiple perspectives and incomplete answers. That's why the goal is not necessarily to know everything (which alas, is impossible), but to make better sense of what we can know and search for ways in which the existing record is flawed and needs to be revised, expanded, or reworked with new perspectives (which have existed all this time, but haven't been privileged by the white male western academy for the obvious reasons). And that work is fun and important! I don't want you to be scared of getting to that point, because someone will be there to support you the whole way and by the time you do, it will make sense to you in a way it probably doesn't right now, just because it's a new skill and like any new skill, it takes a long time to learn and to be able to apply confidently, consistently, and at a high level. And plenty of us who do it as a career still often have to say "I don't know, let me ask Dr. So-and-so who specializes in this," so yeah. It's a process of becoming comfortable with both learning how to answer what we can, and to ask others for help with that, and it never really ends. Which is the fun part. There's so much more to do.

Good luck!

#anonymous #ask #history #school stuff #academia: not even once

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pippin-katz · 7 months

Text

I need a cast audiobook of RWRB. If no one else, then at least Taylor and Nick reading Alex and Henry. I need it in my life.

And in ACD fashion, here’s a few lists of lines/conversations from the book that I am desperate to hear them say. I want to hear them read all of the lines, but these are the ones that pop out to me!

Post Writing Note: These turned out to be way longer than I thought they were going to be 😭😂

Alex Lines:

Oh yeah, that was a wild night. Two whole keynote speakers. Nothing sexier than shrimp cocktails and an hour and a half of speeches on carbon emissions. - page 5

'Archnemesis' implies he's actually a rival to me on any level and not, you know, a stuck-up product of inbreeding who probably jerks off to photos of himself. - page 7

Jesus Christ, it’s like they can see into your soul. Cornbread knows my sins, Henry. Cornbread knows what I have done, and he is here to make me atone. - page 77

I always thought you’d kill me in a more personal way. Silk pillow over my face, slow and gentle suffocation. Just you and me. Sensual. - page 80

Shut up, shut all the way up, oh my God. - page 131

For fuck's sake, man, you just had my dick in your mouth, you can kiss me good-night. - page 145

What in the rich-white-people-sex-dungeon hell? - page 149

Bisexuality is truly a rich and complex tapestry. - page 194

Listen: I'll fly to London right now and pull you out of whatever pointless meeting you're in and make you admit how much you love it when I call you "baby". I'll take you apart with my teeth, sweetheart. - page 204

You don't get to sit up here and pretend like it's someone else's problem. None of us do. - page 209

i want to see a cage match between your grandmother and this fucking ghoul running against my mom. - page 221

I do think I got a gut feeling with you, I just didn't have what I needed in my head to understand it. But I kind of kept chasing it anyway, like I was just going blindly in a certain direction and hoping for the best. I guess that makes you the North Star? - page 244

Henry! Your Royal fucking Highness! - page 269

Really nice. Fuckin' ghost me for a week, make me stand in the rain like a brown John Cusack, and now you won't even talk to me. I'm really just having a great time here. I can see why y'all had to marry your fucking cousins. - page 270

I fucking love you, okay? Fuck, I swear. You don't make it fucking easy. But I'm in love with you. - page 271

I'll leave, as soon as you tell me to leave. - page 275

Okay, I'm into making history. - page 280

I completely fucking love you. - page 291

I'm there for whatever you decide you want to do, just, like, let me know if I need to start practicing gazing wistfully out the window, waiting for my love to return from the war. - page 296

AN INCOMPLETE LIST: THINGS I LOVE ABOUT HRH PRINCE HENRY OF WALES Note: just the entire list, I need it, but I'll point out some of the best ones anyway lol

9. How hard you try. 10. How hard you've always tried. 11. How determined you are to keep trying. - page 303

16. Your huge, generous, ridiculous, indestructible heart. 17. Your equally huge dick. 18. The face you just made when you read that last one. - page 303

20. The fact that you loved me all along. - page 303

God, I want to fight everyone who's ever hurt you, but it was me too, wasn't it? All that time. I'm so sorry. - page 303

Listen, I'm telling you right now, I will physically fight your grandmother myself if I have to, okay? And, like, she's old. I know I can take her. - page 312

You and me and history, remember? We're just gonna fucking fight. Because you're it, okay? I'm never gonna love anybody in the world like I love you. - page 312

Sería una mentira, porque no sería él. (It would be a lie, because it wouldn't be him.) - page 317

but i've kissed your mouth, that corner, that place it goes, so many times now. i've memorized it. topography on the map of you, a world i'm still charting. i know it. i added it to the key. here: inches to miles. i can multiply it out, read your latitude and longitude. recite your coordinates like la rosaria. - page 319

give yourself away sometimes, sweetheart. there's so much of you. - page 320

Zahra, you're my mean friend. - page 339

I've never... I haven't been through anything like that. But I've always felt it, in him. There's this side of him that's... unknowable. But the thing is, jumping off cliffs is kinda my thing. That's the choice. I love him, with all that, because of all that. On purpose. I love him on purpose. - page 344

For what it's worth, that is the bravest son of a bitch I've ever met. - page 347

My life is a cosmic joke and you're not a real person. - page 371

You are, the absolute worst idea I've ever had. - page 372

FIRST SON ALEXANDER CLAREMONT-DIAZ'S ADDRESS FROM THE WHITE HOUSE, OCTOBER 2, 2020 - pages 372-375 Note: just, the entire speech, the whole thing

America: He is my choice. - page 374

Henry Lines:

Hmm, I always liked Luke. He's brave and good, and he's the strongest Jedi of them all. I think Luke is proof that it doesn't matter where you come from or who your family is--you can always be great if you're true to yourself. - page 45

The turkeys are not going to Jurassic Park you. You’re not the bloke from Seinfeld. You’re Jeff Goldblum. Go to sleep. - page 82

You are the thistle in the tender and sensitive arse crack of my life. - page 73

fucking eyelashes - page 142

I shall just have to make it the best orgasm of your life. What can I do to make it good for you? Talk about American tax reform during the act? Have you got talking points? - page 196

How is a man to get anything done knowing Alex Claremont-Diaz is out there on the loose? - pages 202-203

They wanted something less fruity than the truth, but truly, what is gayer than a woman who languishes away in a crumbling mansion wearing her wedding gown every day of her life, for the drama? - page 205

Someone else's choice doesn't change who you are. - page 229

Most things are awful most of the time, but you're good. - page 230

The phrase "see attached bibliography" is the single sexiest thing you have ever written to me. - page 241

Should I tell you that when we're apart, your body comes back to me in dreams? That when I sleep, I see you, the dip of your waist, the freckle above your hip, and when I wake up in the morning, it feels like I've been with you, the phantom touch of your hand on the back of my neck fresh and not imagined? That I can feel your skin against mine, and it makes every bone in my body ache? That, for a few moments, I can hold my breath and be back there with you, in a dream, in a thousand rooms, nowhere at all? - page 242 Note: based on the parts of this we did get to hear Nick say in the film, I think this would kill half the fandom lol

When have I ever, since the first instant I touched you, pretended to be anything less than in love with you? - page 272

I never thought I'd be stood here faced with a choice I can't make, because I never... I never imagined you would love me back. - page 273

The Mail will write mad speculations about where I've gone, if I've offed myself or vanished to St. Kilda, but only you and I will know that I'm just sprawled in your bed, reading books and feeding myself profiteroles and making love to you endlessly until we both expire in a haze of chocolate sauce. It's how I'd want to go. - page 294

Here lies Prince Henry of Wales. He died as he lived: avoiding plans and sucking cock. - page 298

"Because I'm not like the rest of the men of this family, beginning with the fact that I am very deeply gay, Philip." - page 298

But the first time I saw you. Rio. I took that down to the gardens. I pressed it into the leaves of a silver maple and recited it to the Waterloo Vase. It didn't fit in any rooms. - page 300

I thought, this is the most incredible thing I have ever seen, and I had better keep it a safe distance away from me. I though, if someone like that ever loved me, it would set me on fire. - page 300

And then, inexplicably, you had the absolute audacity to love me back. - page 300 Note: I really wanted to just type out most of the page, but I restrained myself lmfao

I don't know if I would have chosen it yet, but it's out there now, and... I won't lie. Not about this. Not about you. - page 338

Bit short for a stormtrooper. - page 340

I've bloody well had it. I've sat about long enough letting you and Gran and the weight of the damned world keep me pinned, and I'm finished. I don't care. You can take your legacy and your decorum and you can shove it up your fucking arse, Philip. I'm done. - page 347

I've been as gay as a maypole since the day I came out of Mum, Philip. - page 353 Note: there's never too many times to hear the words "gay as a maypole" and the emotional infliction here is lot different lol

Both:

Am I offending you? Sorry I'm not obsessed with you like everyone else. I know that must be confusing for you. Do you know what? I think you are. Only a thought. Have you ever noticed I have never once approached you and have been exhaustingly civil every time we've spoken? Yet here you are, seeking me out again. Simply an observation. - page 18

This is idiotic. Let's get it over with. I'd rather be waterboarded. Your country could probably arrange that. Go fuck yourself. Hardly enough time. - pages 36-37 Note: yes, I know Nick read this part in his book-to-screen video thingy but it's not the same as having them both saying the lines fully in character.

What does Jedi have? Fuckin' Ewoks. Ewoks are iconic. Ewoks are stupid. - page 52

yo there's a bond marathon on and did you know your dad was a total babe I BEG YOU TO NOT - page 84

I'm going to die. I'm going to kill you. Yes, you are. - page 133

You were jealous. You want me. Yes, you preening arse, I've wanted you long enough that I won't have you tease me for another fucking second. - page 137

Hi. Hello. I'm gonna take your pants off now. Yes, good, carry on. - page 141

Ugh, you look ridiculous. Should I-- What? No, of course not, keep them on. Oh my God, what are you doing? I can't even look at you. No, Jesus, I just mean--I'm so mad at you. Just, come here. Fuck. I'm quite confused. Me fucking too. - page 150

I'm not... historically great at talking about things. Well, I wasn't historically great at blowjobs, but we all gotta learn and grow, sweetheart. - page 165

Bitch, you took me there. alskdjfadslfjad NORA YOU BROKE HIM - page 212

D'you know what I want? What? I want, to do the absolute last thing I'm supposed to be doing right now. Then tell me to do it, sweetheart. Fuck me. Well, when at Wimbledon. Just so we're clear, I'm about to have sex with you in this storage closet to spite your family. Like, that's what's happening? Right. Awesome, fucking' love doing things out of spite. - page 217 Note: I think this conversation could singlehandedly kill the fandom if we got to hear Taylor and Nick deliver these lines

Can't you ever just do one thing without having to be so goddamn extra about it? That is bloody rich coming from you. - pages 260-261

What do you want? I want you- Then fucking have me. -but I don't want this. - page 273

You seem... less pissy. You're one to talk. I wasn't the one who stormed the palace in a fit to call me an 'obtuse fucking asshole'. In my defense, you were an obtuse fucking asshole. - page 277

I honestly have never thought I deserved to choose. But you treat me like I do. You do. I think I'm actually starting to believe that. - page 279

What about you? What about me? Christ, Alex. The whole bloody time. The whole time? Since the Olympics. The Olympics? But that's, that's like- Yes, Alex, the day we met, nothing gets past you, does it? 'What about you,' he says, as if he doesn't know- Shut your mouth. - page 283-284

Hello, what was that for? I just, like, really love you. - page 286

What are you doing? I'm taking a picture of a national gay landmark. And also a statue. It's funny. I always thought of the whole things as the most unforgivable thing about me, but you act like it's one of the best. Oh, yeah. The top list of reason to love you goes brain, then dick, then imminent status as a revolutionary gay icon. You are quite literally Queen Victoria's worst nightmare. And that's why you love me. My god, you're right. All this time, I was just after the bloke who'd most infuriate my homophobic forebears. Ah, and we can't forget they were also racist. Certainly not. Next time we shall visit some of the George III pieces and see if they burst into flame. - page 289

If Alex from this time last year could see this. He'd say, 'Oh I'm in love with Henry? That must be why I'm such an arse to him all the time'. - page 387

#red white and royal blue #rwrb #rwrb movie #rwrb book #alex claremont diaz #taylor zakhar perez #henry fox mountchristen windsor #henry hanover stuart fox #nicholas galitzine #firstprince #history huh #bet we could make some

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laxmiree · 7 months

Text

[CN] MLQC’s Lucien Reunion Date English Translation

⚠️ SPOILER ALERT!! ⚠️

This post contains a detailed spoiler for a date that has not been released in EN yet! Feel free to notify me if there are any mistakes in the translation~

Lucien’s 2023 CN Birthday Event (The New World)✧ Birthday Story | Birthday Prologue | Birthday Date (You're here!) | ASMR | Birthday Party

It turns out that on a day like this, I'm allowed to have both loneliness and warmth at the same time.

Translation under the cut~

Special thanks to @/ivioivioivi for helping me translate some sentences. I am really thankful that you replied to my messages even in odd hours :"D.

[T/N: I don't want to break the flow, so I'll say it now. You need to at least read Lucien's 3rd birthday date and phone call (Looking Back Date+ Saplings of Love Phone Call) first to understand half of the date. It's even better if you've read all of his birthday dates and birthday R&S/stories. YEARS worth of build-up pays off wonderfully and painfully on this date :". Some non-birthday dates that get referenced/I think are important to understand his growth are:

Standstill date (I forgot the official EN localization of this date, so here is the fan translation ver of it. The 'old game' in this Reunion Date is a reference to this date).

Wild Luxury Date (not a direct reference, but MC's idea to book a B&B for his birthday can be traced back to them going to a wild luxury hotel LOL. Because of the 'memorable things' that happened here, they've been exploring many kinds of hotels ever since then.

Tidying-up date (The date dives deep into how Lucien dealt with his pain and grief- that is, by trying to abandon them because he didn't know any better, there's no time to slow down and properly deal with it :". But because of the 'complex feeling' (that he FINALLY got to understand in Reunion Date) he's unable to do so.

Also, a casual reminder that his birthday is also his parents' death anniversary since they got into a car accident during his 7th birthday- it'll come into play on this date ;).

ANYWAY, this date is such a TREAT for ppl who have been liking him for years and watching him grow slowly.

[Subtitled Video Ver - TURN ON CC]

youtube

VERY recommended to follow along with the voice acting for a more complete experience! It's just that he never sounded this vulnerable before :"". And BGM choice is really superb hhhh. I don't expect them to use that angsty BGM from last anniv.

[Transcript Ver]

I'm looking at the phone screen with one minute left on the countdown and placing the candle into the cupcake I secretly baked in the evening.

MC: 51, 52, 53......

I silently count the time, and at the last second, I push Lucien's study door open and turn off the lights.

MC: Happy birthday to you~

MC: Happy birthday to Professor Lucien, the smartest professor in the world~

The dim candlelight gently illuminates Lucien, who is sitting at the desk. He seems stunned for a moment, but soon, a joyful smile fills his eyes.

Lucien: So, the idea of celebrating my birthday at a B&B was just part of your surprise.

MC: I can't have you guessing everything. I still need to prepare some unexpected surprises for the birthday boy.

It's rare that Lucien doesn't have to go on a business trip this year, and there are no additional work assignments at the institute.

So, I booked a B&B in advance, taking two days off together. We'll celebrate his birthday while enjoying a brief vacation.

I smile and place the cupcake on the table, brushing away the strands of hair that hang in front of his eyes.

MC: And since we're both on vacation, every second from now on is worth celebrating.

MC: So, it's now a special midnight blessing time~

Lucien: [chuckles] And what blessing are you going to give me?

He wraps his arm around my waist, allowing me to sit on his lap.

His deep pupils dive into the depths of my eyes along our pressed foreheads, and even our breaths become intimate.

MC: Hmm... Midnight blessings mark the beginning of your birthday, so I'll start by wishing you... to be yourself on this day.

His pupils briefly contract, and it seems like even his breath has slowed down a bit.

MC: Usually, we often do things we don't particularly like for various reasons.

MC: Whether it's playing a role or fulfilling responsibilities, life is often filled with many “have to's”.

MC: But the privilege of a birthday means that today, you are the most important person in the world.

MC: So, on this day, do everything you want to do and be as comfortable as you can be.

MC: That's my midnight blessing.

The candlelight light is long, silently enveloping both of us and turning this small space into the whole world.

Lucien: (whispers hoarsely) Then I'll accept it.

His warm breath touches my lips, lingering into the first long trailing note of a wish.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------------

After he blows out the candle and finishes the cake, I follow his wish and nestle into Lucien's embrace.

I occasionally use my gaze to trace his face. Although I don't know what he's busy with, I'm happy to spend every moment with him.

Spending it in silence is fine too.

Lucien: Several student papers that I was helping to mentor were sent over just in time. I'll finish them quickly.

MC: Take your time reading them~ This way, I'm also absorbing the essence of wisdom.

He arches his eyebrows, leans against my head, and then shifts his gaze back to the screen.

The mouse wheel sound bears witness to the continuously flipped text, and suddenly, I detect a brief moment of silence.

Lucien appears to have no reaction. His gaze is lingering and seems to have also frozen in this moment.

Did he encounter any problems?

I tilt my head and find the cursor paused beside a cited reference, flickering silently.

An obscure and minuscule string of English appears in the lower corner, with only "1996.98~99" discernible.

Lucien: MC.

MC: Lucien?

Our simultaneous saying left me momentarily stunned, and he seemed to be surprised as well. The hold around my waist tightened imperceptibly.

MC: What's wrong?

Lucien: (tenderly) Nothing, I just wanted to call your name.

Lucien: In order to give you my undivided time for the next two days, I just need a little more time.

Lucien: (softly) You go ahead and sleep.

MC: (smiles) Don't stay up too late then.

With a familiar warmth beside me, I don't say much. I simply raise my head and lightly peck his lips, only to realize that he hasn't let go of my hand.

Lucien: Just stay by my side, I'll take care of getting you back into bed with me.

—-------------------------------------------------------

When the alarm clock goes off, I sleepily roll over and discover that the other side of the bed is empty.

The hour hand has just pointed to six o'clock, and I shake off my drowsiness, getting up to search for Lucien's figure.

MC: Did he leave this early? There isn't anything urgent at the research institute, is there…

I'm contemplating whether to send him a message when the door is pushed open.

Lucien is uncharacteristically dressed formally, and I wonder how long he's been outside as he's covered in the chilly air of early autumn.

He probably doesn't expect me to wake up so early, but he just stands there indifferently.

It's as if he's stripped away all emotions and turned into a blank slate in human form.

Somehow, I don't ask him where he went. Instead, I walk over and instinctively take hold of his somewhat stiff and cold hand, placing it against my own face.

MC: Why didn't you wear a scarf? Come here quickly-

Before I can finish speaking, he envelops me in his embrace.

It's an incredibly tight embrace.

Lucien doesn't say anything, yet it's as if he's telling me something.

I simply tighten my hug, letting this silence continue.

The chill fades away as if bidding farewell, and the person in my embrace slowly opens his mouth.

Lucien: (quietly) MC, I went to do something very important.

Lucien: It feels like I'm years late, but fortunately, nothing has changed.

I can't see Lucien's face at this moment, but I can only feel his voice, soft as if not wanting to disturb a certain tranquility.

Lucien: But because of this, I seem to have some new questions.

Lucien: Can you help me with these things I haven't quite figured out yet?

He speaks vaguely, yet there's a genuine sincerity in his words.

A vague idea forms in my mind, something that I can't pin down, but I don't want to put off either.

I gently brushed his bangs with my fingers and looked at him calmly.

MC: Of course, I'm willing to help. How do you want me to help you?

This question seems to have stumped Lucien. He ponders for a while and then smiles helplessly.

Lucien: I don't know either.

MC: Well, it's wonderful. The world has left you with a special puzzle on your birthday~

Lucien that's somewhat at a loss makes me unable to suppress my laugh.

MC: It's okay. After all, growing up doesn't necessarily mean always moving forward. I'll help you find the answers.

—-------------------------------------------------------

I lead him into the living room, where the golden sunlight streams over the horizon, casting its glow upon us.

MC: But since student Lucien doesn't have a direction, I'll have to guide you in my own way, so you better cooperate with me.

Lucien: I'm more than willing, Teacher MC.

MC: Very well. First... let's start by filling our bellies!

—--------------------------------------------------------

After eating, as Lucien places the suitcase in the trunk, I suddenly recall something and retrieve the car cooler from the storage room.

Lucien: It seems that Teacher MC is indeed well-prepared.

MC: Hehe, I must protect my main course well~

And this way, you can go wherever you want.

I don't want to impose any pressure on him, so I simply think to myself and smoothly take the driver's seat.

MC: Today, let me be the escort for the birthday star.

Lucien: What if I also wish for MC to enjoy herself?

MC: You can't use the blessings I gave you against me!

I laugh and pinch his nose. Before starting the car, I come up with a great idea.

MC: Let's play an old game.

Lucien: Aren't we supposed to go to the B&B you booked?

MC: We have plenty of time, so we can have some fun before heading to our destination.

MC: No need to rush, taking it slow is also good. It's also the birthday star's privilege.

Lucien: [chuckle] I can't help but want to be this willful birthday star every day now.

MC: In that case, I'm fully on board!

I grip the steering wheel with both hands, waiting for his response.

MC: So, what's the number in your mind?

Lucien: How about... 389?

MC: Got it!

I enter the number into the map app and, without any reservations, start the car towards the unfamiliar location 18 kilometers away.

I don't drive too fast along the way. Rather than rushing to the destination, it's more about enjoying the scenery along the route. I ask him for the next random number when we encounter red lights.

MC: When did they start repairing the bridge here?

Lucien: It seems they started construction last year, and judging by the progress, it should be completed within the next six months.

Lucien: I hadn't noticed that park over there before.

MC: I remember that this place used to be a lake?

Lucien: Mm, they probably redesigned the walkway, and it seems like cars aren't allowed in anymore.

With Lucien's various choices, we leisurely travel the road, watching this extremely familiar city give birth to new branches in unfamiliar corners.

Time has always been silent, seeping into every crevice, every building, every plant, and every person's face.

The city also seems to be growing up with us, shedding a certain part of itself and transforming into something more fresh and new.

And as Lucien and I walk through these changes together, it's hard to say whether I feel more nostalgia or anticipation.

Until the red light appears, I have no idea where I've driven us to.

In the unfamiliar scenery, warm light falls upon Lucien's face.

MC: Now, do you have any places you'd like to go or things you'd like to do?

This time, I didn't ask him for a random number but instead posed a question during this brief moment of silence.

Perhaps it's only after walking many paths that you'll discover the one you want to take.

The red light flickers and the countdown numbers slowly extend into his field of vision.

Lucien: I want to... look at the flowers.

—-------------------------------------------------------

Under Lucien's guidance, we continued to drive for a while.

The unknown world gradually added familiar sights, and the road ahead also widened.

The road of the old street is wider than it was three years ago, as if it had been freshly paved with asphalt, shining brightly in the sunlight.

Heading uphill all the way, not far ahead, I can vaguely see a massive white building.

Unlike the last time, Lucien confidently directs the way this time—until we park in the parking lot next to the white building.

In the distance, the hills and fields are vibrant, and osmanthus flowers dance silently in the wind like tiny specks of light.

They complement this massive white building, radiating splendid beauty, which makes my eyes well up with emotion.

It turns out that something new has already bloomed on that empty lot.

MC: So, this hospital has already been built…

Lucien: Um, it will officially open to the public in a few months.

Lucien shows no intention of getting out of the car and calmly gazes ahead.

I also follow his gaze. The hospital is surrounded by hills and forests, and we listen to the distant chirping of insects, telling the secrets of the wilderness.

The wind rustles through the leaves, and the lush greenery and deep red hues cast beautiful light and shadow under the sunlight.

MC: Were these trees here before?

Lucien: I believe they were also transplanted here in the past two years.

I lean against the steering wheel, looking at the scenery in front of me that is entirely different from what I remember, and I can't help but not know how to describe my feelings.

MC: Can a hospital be built so quickly?

Lucien: Of course, it's even faster since this hospital is a crucial project for expanding clinical teaching bases in Loveland City.

He said it naturally, causing my gaze to unconsciously shift back at him.

Perhaps my gaze is too probing, so Lucien casually slumps down on the right side of the dashboard.

Lucien: Actually, I've been here a few times before due to work reasons.

Lucien: While their primary research focus is orthopedics, they also want to incorporate related studies in neuroscience to treat more complex and critical diseases.

Lucien: That's why the hospital director approached me for a collaboration.

MC: You surely agreed, right?

Lucien: Do I appear so easy to persuade?

MC: You're far from being easy to persuade.

I reach out and gently caress his cheek that's nestled between his arms.

MC: (smiles softly) It's clear to me that you've always known what you want to do.

In the sunlight, Lucien seems to smile more comfortably. He nuzzles my palm, bringing himself closer to me.

Lucien: Although they are still lacking in clinical expertise in neuroscience, Lucien's Bioscience Research Center has already signed an agreement with this hospital.

Lucien: I will provide them with the necessary research theoretical support.

Lucien: However, to bridge some gaps, I recommended one of my former classmates from my doctoral program to them. Whether they can persuade him to join depends on the efforts of the hospital director.

Lucien appears nonchalant, but I can hear so much sentiment in his words.

It's Lucien's own research institute that concluded the collaboration, and even though he's aware of the shortcomings on the other side, he still chose to cooperate.

He probably unconsciously hopes that the things that are growing anew on that land will turn into something even more beautiful.

Perhaps because I've been staring at him, Lucien seems to have also understood the unspoken words I haven't uttered.

Lucien: The reason I agreed may be because, at some moment, I felt like I had touched upon a coincidence called fate.

MC: Should scientists believe in these things?

Lucien: [chuckle] It's needed once in a while.

We can't help but laugh together.

MC: How about we get down and go for a walk?

MC: Perhaps fate has other words to speak within this coincidence.

While that's what I'm saying, I actually don't know what else fate might have to say.

We don't enter the hospital; instead, we aimlessly stroll around.

That empty lot is no longer just a distant memory, nor does it remain stagnant in its place.

We walk up the hill and see a slightly small but uniquely looking shop by the side of the side road.

It quietly nestled amidst the woods directly facing the hospital, the rich aroma of coffee blending gently with the scent of fresh grass.

MC: This shop is also new, right?

Lucien: Indeed, I didn't expect a new coffee shop to open here.

Our gazes collide, and in each other's eyes, we see the same expectation.

MC: Let's go check it out then!

The simple and elegant decor made the whole café look clean and bright.

There's only one owner in the store, even though it's not yet opening time, she warmly welcomed us.

Owner: I didn't expect to have customers at this time.

Owner: The sunshine is lovely today. Why don't you two sit over here and enjoy the beautiful scenery?

She says as she leads us to a floor-to-ceiling window on the south side. Looking at the scene in front of me, I unconsciously hold my breath.

Emerald green, golden yellow, and crimson red – time unfolds the colors it has painted to depict life in front of this window.

It's as if the four seasons silently cycle, but at this moment, it kindly extends all of its vistas, leaving the shadow of time here.

Owner: Not far away, they've built a new hospital, and it seems the director is very environmentally conscious as they've planted many trees in the vicinity.

Owner: Looking out of this window, there are two very special trees, and I observe that only during this season of the year is there such a unique view.

MC: ...It's really beautiful, thank you for your recommendation!

After thanking the boss, we're sitting in front of that window.

Lucien gazes out of the window, slightly lost in thought. The colorful light and shadows fall delicately on him, as if embracing him, sinking him into the shade of the trees.

MC: I wonder if this place is directly facing the window where the little boy used to be.

He pauses for a moment and looks at me amidst the gorgeous display.

MC: At this moment, can we also see the four seasons in his eyes when he looks outside the window?

Lucien: (smiles while looking away) Probably so.

Lucien: After all, it's what has grown anew on this land.

His voice is heavy and resolute.

MC: That's wonderful.

Lucien: Hmm?

MC: They are so beautiful, it's truly wonderful.

Memories are now distant and unattainable, but they still remain here. And in such a birthplace, all the beauty that has grown is so delightful.

MC: Perhaps this painting-like scenery is also a gift from fate to you.

Beneath the play of light and shadow, the girl's face is filled with the colors of sunshine, and she smiles warmly.

Lucien always feels that the emotions that he couldn't figure out the answer to seem to open a small crack, allowing even more indescribable feelings to pour out.

When discussing the collaboration compensation, he proposed donating two trees in the name of the research institute as a partial substitute for the hiring fee.

At every moment when he came here alone, he could clearly feel the spreading branches and twigs.

Perhaps, the meaning of time lies in the fact that nothing stays in one place, and this is also a form of trace and continuity.

It's just that, some changes would be better if they happened slower.

He always selfishly thinks this way.

Lucien: Probably... it really is a gift, isn't it?

Lucien: However, there may be more to it than just fate.

The colorful world is distant yet clear, all frozen in the eyes.

Because of you, I can see the traces of time so clearly.

It turns out that everything has passed for so long, long enough that I'm almost forgetting the name of this feeling.

It turns out that on a day like this, I'm allowed to have both loneliness and warmth at the same time.

It turns out that what I felt was sadness.

—--------------------------------------------------------

=Flashback Start=

The cemetery in the early morning is dark and solemn, with only a few stars twinkling in the sky.

The streets at four o'clock were too deserted, so Lucien bought a particularly simple bouquet of flowers from a newly opened stall at the door.

He passed through the freshly painted iron gate and walked slowly along the gravel path.

The paper's reference seemed to pull him into the light and shadow of time that he couldn't speak or think of yet also couldn't forget.

There were always two busy figures, always smiling with their eyes forever gazing into the distance.

These long-ago scenes that feel more like yesterday are strangling his breath and cutting open his wound today.

The time devoured by enduring anxieties of emptiness returns in its entirety today, as it does on all other 'todays'.

Some kind of longing dug into the wound, causing him to suddenly pause before tucking the girl in his arms into the quilt.

He pondered for a long time, and in the end, he decided to put on a suit.

That period of time was like this road, neither long nor short, but he spent many years on it.

Lucien stopped before the graves, gazing at the familiar names on it, and heaved a long sigh.

What should he say? He didn't know.

He simply gently placed the flowers down and reached out to touch the name on the tombstone.

The dust had settled in the gaps, and he cleaned it meticulously, even those stubborn stains were carefully wiped away.

He silently gazed at those two clean names, looking at them again and again.

Lucien: I seem to... miss both of you.

Today belongs to both of you, yet it also feels like it belongs to me.

When I abandon my name, I can treat it as a day that only belongs to me.

Now that I stand before you, does it mean that the distant past has slowly arrived at my side?

When I leave, the time left for you both will come to an end, and the time ahead should be reserved for her, or maybe for the me who's blessed by you.

Is that okay?

Lucien knew that no one would provide him with an answer. He simply sat there, no longer dwelling on anything.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting there, until the slowly approaching light from the distance began to illuminate him.

=Flashback End=

—--------------------------------------------------------

MC: You can open your eyes now!

Lucien opens his eyes under my guidance, and I happen to collect the last decoration.

Lucien: The issues troubling me seem to have somewhat disrupted your preparations.

MC: That's not entirely true.

Noticing that Lucien has picked up on some clues, I place the cake on the small couch and pull him down to sit.

MC: No matter how grand the birthday celebration is or how it is celebrated, the focus should be on the person who is celebrating it.

MC: You are the most important.

MC: Everything I've done is simply in the hope that they can appear more fittingly before you.

The warm light falls on the small arched couch, enclosing our figures leaning against the glass within it.

Outside, it started raining at some point, the raindrops hitting gently against the window. Much like the indescribable feelings, the world was shrouded in a misty haze.

Lucien: It feels like we're inside an egg here.

MC: Right? I think so too.

MC: So, let's just imagine we've briefly returned to the state before venturing into the human world and taking a rest here.

Lucien: Hmm, what's outside the window then?

MC: Outside the window is the place we'll go to.

MC: It might rain today, it might be clear tomorrow, or there might be a sandstorm.

MC: Every day, the weather will be different, there will be many sad things, and there will also be many happy moments.

Lucien: Can sadness and happiness... exist at the same time?

MC: Of course they can.

MC: Because they are both important to you.

I gently stroke his brow and gaze deeper into him through those eyes filled with emotions.

Lucien: (in the most fragile tone you ever hear-) ….Then, can you hug me?

I don't speak; instead, I answer him with my actions.

Perhaps I had also waited for a long time, waiting for him to come to me, letting me accompany him and giving me the right to comfort him.

Lucien: I went to meet some very important people today.

MC: Um.

Lucien: I miss them very much.

MC: Mm.

Lucien: But I feel happy again because of you.

I bite my lower lip hard and feel my eyes slightly welling up.

Lucien: I don't know how to handle these emotions, but I also feel a bit childish like this.

MC: I don't think so. I really like you just the way you are now.

MC: Being candid and clumsy, like a child without any worries. It's a kind of growth for you too.

Lucien: But today is obviously my birthday, isn't?

MC: It's precisely because today is your birthday that you can be like this.

I can't help but hug him even tighter.

MC: Sometimes, I feel as if we're growing up like layers of an onion, with each year wrapped around the last.

MC: Even though you're growing older, you still have all the previous ages you've been.

MC: You are also the 26-year-old Lucien, the 20-year-old Lucien, the 18-year-old Lucien, the 14-year-old Lucien – you are every version of yourself from different time periods.

MC: So, you can think rationally, but you can also be indifferent; you can be passionate, yet feel discouraged at times.

MC: When we grow up, we don't abandon ourselves. Every version of you from the past is still within your heart.

MC: You will see them, comfort them, and accept them.

Behind me, Lucien is silent, but the slightly tightened arms seem to quietly reveal something.

MC: What did the ten-year-old Lucien do today?

Lucien: Mm... I read a very special book.

MC: And what about the fourteen-year-old Lucien?

Lucien: I went to Venice, took photos at the Bridge of Sighs, and accidentally dropped my camera.

MC: Hmm, and what about when you were seventeen?

Lucien: Spent an entire night in my own independent laboratory.

MC: Wow, you! You didn't pull an all-nighter at twenty as well, did you?

Lucien: When I was twenty… I was given a graduation ceremony that I think is a bit special now.

MC: And what about you today?

He slowly lifts his head, his soft fingertips caressing my cheek.

Lucien: I went to meet important people

Lucien: And returned to your side.

MC: So you see, today may be your birthday, but it's also a special book day and a day for a bit of luck to escape.

MC: It can be an all-nighter day or a day for sleep. It's your graduation ceremony, and it's also the day of your important people.

MC: It doesn't just belong to happiness, it simply belongs to you.

MC: Happy birthday, Lucien. You don't have to be just happy.

The droplet on the glass window reflects the candlelight, resembling burning osmanthus petals as if time itself has paused by our side.

Lucien finally smiles, his eyes sparkling.

Lucien: I think, I know what wish to make now.

He wraps my hands together in his and looks at the candlelight.

It seems like he's saying a lot of wishes, and only after a while does he rest his forehead against mine.

MC: I hope all your wishes come true.

Lucien: Well, this Miss will have to work hard because it's not just from the present me.

Lucien: I just took the opportunity to make up for all those days I forgot to make wishes.

MC: Right now, I feel like I'm accompanying the past you.

MC: Would you call me silly for feeling this way?

Lucien: (whispers softly) Of course not.

His warm lips gently cover mine, devout and solemn.

Lucien: Furthermore, for the future me, the present is my past.

At the moment the candles were blown out, the sound of fireworks bursting in the distance could be heard. Colorful fireworks exploded outside the window, decorating the night sky.

It turns out that the rain had silently stopped at some point.

Lucien: It looks like there will be fireworks outside the window.

MC: It's welcoming you.

At this moment, there are less than 10 minutes left until the end of Lucien's birthday.

I grab his hand and run out of the B&B, running onto the street.

The street scene is incredibly lively, and for some reason, the celebratory fireworks keep lighting up the night sky, leaving colorful streaks in their wake.

Pedestrians pause for a moment, and I hold Lucien's hand. We walk through the crowd and I excitedly turn back to him.

MC: Lucien, it's wonderful that you came into this world.

MC: Thank you for coming into this world, thank you for coming to my side.

Another burst of fireworks soars into the sky, and the world is so beautiful, as if gathering all the colors of this moment into his eyes.

All the accumulated emotions are like the fireworks at this moment, making him vibrant and alive.

I see him take my hand and wrap his other arm around my waist.

Perhaps this isn't even a dance, we're just embracing each other and spinning around while laughing.

It seems like only the two of us exist in the world.

Lucien: MC.

I hear him calling my name.

Lucien: Thank you, for giving me this beautiful world as a present.

MC: Then I hope even more that whether I participate in your world or not, you will have the beauty of the whole world.

Lucien: Don't worry.

Lucien's eyes are filled with a smile, and the lamp's warm glow makes him look incredibly bright.

Lucien: All my time is as dazzling as you.

[Phone Call- coming soon]

[Lux's small rambling corner]

Dying rn after two sleepless nights, so I'll say a little for now and will add more after resting for some days orz. But really, I think what makes this date good can be felt with heart. Every single sentence is golden and worth to be screaming about hnghhh.

Where should I start??? Everything about this date feels perfect. I don't even know where to begin🥹 I genuinely think this one is his best birthday date. The pay of years' worth of build-up and the metaphors are perfect, and GOD, how this date consists of everything that makes them unique and lovable to me.

I didn't anticipate that the writers would skillfully weave together past birthday dates on this occasion. Honestly, I wouldn't mind if this marks the final instance centered around the theme of the past self. Embracing every version of your past self that makes up 'you' is truly a fitting conclusion.

It's INSANE how his writers are able to build up the whole thing over the span of 6 YEARS like??? The way his change and growth happen little by little as we accompany him in those years, watching him now just being himself, frankly expressing his emotions and longing, and taking the initiative to be vulnerable for the first time, I can't help but feel emotional sob sob. Trust me, I CRIED the first time I read that part when he asked for a hug. We've seen him being vulnerable before, but him being the one who takes the initiative is an entirely different matter. I mean, Lucien????? the same guy that says he's okay when he got heatstroke???/hj.

Anyway, with each birthday, Lucien seems to discover something new. Like last year when he finally found a place that can be called home, this year, what he found was the loneliness and sadness from the past that he hid so deeply because he just didn't understand and had no time to deal with it. After his parents' death he give himself a new name and abandoned his old one. Like cutting off his past memories, put them in small box, locking them and hid them. Back then, he probably thought that he would never open that 'box' again and he would eventually forget its existence. But every time he get reminded of them, like in this date when he saw their names in reference he'd see the key of that 'box', reminding him of its existence.

Now, because of his encounter with her, he is gradually able to slow down, slowly understand his feelings and emotions. And so, he finally opened that 'box', went to the cemetery to see his parents and clumsily told them what he unconsciously always wanted to say, letting years of sadness and missing from losing them filled him. With this, he also slowly accept his every past self.

Like the fireworks after the long rain, his present self is alive and vibrant. Be it sadness or happiness, Lucien, I'm glad that now you can experience and accept both.

#he never take initiative to be vulnerable so when he did in this date I-#GENUINELY this is my fav birthday date like ever?#such a perfect pay off from YEARS worth of build up sob sob #mlqc lucien #mlqc #mr.love queen's choice #mlqc translation #mlqc cn #mlqc spoiler #Youtube

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lollytea · 8 months

Text

(Part 4 of La La Land Machine exposition posts!! I know I've made way more than 4 but this is the part that's going in chronological order. Like I've talked about Hunter and hunlow in this au before but this is his formal introduction, like Willow got in part 1. I also got quite a lot more followers since I last rambled about this AU so linking the other parts if they wanna catch up. And if they want, they can look through the tag for all the additional info.

PART 1

PART 2

PART 3

Anyway, I lied. We are only BEGINNING to talk about the hunlow slow burn. It's taken me long enough to set up Hunter and everything he's got going on. It sets up hunlow but they're not really close yet. But it won't even take that long to get the next post out because I am so excited to talk about them more)

Hunter Wittebane has lived his whole life wearing masks. He's been an actor before he developed object permanence. He was memorizing scripts by ear before he could fully read by himself.

Job after job, set after set, role after role. His environment is not only cutthroat competitive, but it's always in motion. Things never sit still. The biggest stability in his life was his Uncle Philip, whom Hunter loved intensely. Even if it felt like the only way he could express it was by bleeding.

But Hunter was only allowed to bleed in private. And if he wanted his Uncle to stroke his hair back and keep telling him he was special, he needed to prove it. He needed to be the second chance that he was born to be.

Hunter struggles to really understand who he is. Because he is seldom himself. If he's not playing a character, he's only known as the legacy of the Hollywood gem, Caleb Wittebane, Hunter's late father.

Hunter was quite sheltered as a child. Other than being out and about for business reasons, he didn't really get to experience much of the world. If he wasn't working, he was usually confined to his Uncle's house. Or hotel rooms. The only outings he goes on that are considered "personal" are to church.

He loves to read and he'll devour whatever book he gets his hands on. Unfortunately his options are limited to what his Uncle believes is appropriate. Philip views the world as a depraved and lecherous place, as are the people that inhabit it. If it weren't for this world and its poison, his brother would still be alive.

And then he wouldn't need to waste his time replicating his brother's likeness in some aimless weak willed child who can barely comprehend how important his performance is in all of this.

Philip refuses to allow outside forces to contaminate his nephew. If Caleb's soul is going to live on in the way it should have, they can't make a repeat of last time. Caleb's replacement has to remain on the right path, or his legacy goes up in flames.

The Bible is one of Hunter's top comfort reads. It's the only book that his Uncle seems pleased to know he's interested in. And he's pored over the pages so many times that the familiarity is soothing. It also puts the fear of God in him. As do Philip's frequent lessons. He's shaping up to be a very faithful little Christian.

Hunter also watches a lot of (Uncle approved) television. He's a tiny chatterbox but is pretty starved of socialization. If his Uncle isn't around, he's stuck with the family assistant Kiki, who usually ignores him. TV and books are mostly responsible for Hunter's expansive vocabulary.

As a shy but precocious little boy, his best friends are sweet, comforting preschool cartoon characters.

Even though Philip's life seemed to orbit around Hunter and he worked day and night for the sake of his nephew's success, a lot of the time he just....wasn't around. Sometimes Hunter went weeks without hearing from him and was left in the "care" of Kiki.

Hunter was always left wanting. On those lonely nights when Philip was away, he would beg Kiki to call him so Hunter could at least say goodnight. All for the sake of holding the phone tight against his ear and hearing his Uncle's soft spoken "Sleep well, Hunter," so his world felt a little less cold.

If Philip even answered.

But when Uncle was home, Hunter found himself with some very guilty feelings and ungrateful thoughts.

The details are not important. By that, I mean Hunter is quite uncomfortable recounting the things that used to happen in the Wittebane house when his Uncle was home.

He said them aloud once. At the age of sixteen, when his breathing was in sync with the girl he had fallen in love with and her fingers were tracing gentle paths down his bare back. He felt like he had melted into a world where he could say anything.

It didn't stop his voice from wavering nor his throat from threatening to close up. It was like he was having a full body rejection of the admission. These were secrets meant to remain locked up in his chest until his heart went still.

But he said them. And after that, they couldn't go back to being unsaid.

He didn't say them again for many years. It wasn't until he was a grown man. He wrote them down and he told the whole world.

But we're getting ahead of ourselves.

The point is that when Philip was away, Hunter got lonely and wanted his Uncle back. When Philip was home and focused all of his attention on his nephew, Hunter wanted nothing more than for him to be gone again. He knew that was an awful thing to want and the guilt ate him alive.

Did he not love his Uncle? Of course he did! He loved him more than anything.

That's why it hurt so much.

Sometimes, his Uncle was a comfort to Hunter's anxious heart. He held him in his arms and hushed him when Hunter had nightmares. He was safety.

And other times, he was the reason for those nightmares and Hunter didn't feel like he could be safe until that man was out of the house again.

Maybe, no matter what happened, he'd never be truly happy with any situation he was put in. Maybe the state of "being happy" just wasn't real, but a thing TV made up. There was just something inherently empty and scary about being alive.

At least that's the conclusion the small boy came to. This remained his mindset as he navigated the big loud upsetting world around him, which only got bigger and louder and more upsetting as Hunter got older and his career grew.

The most glaring problem Philip encountered grooming Hunter in Caleb's image was that there's a drastic difference between a man who achieved the most undiluted burst of stardom in his twenties and a toddler. Hunter can not immediately slide into the dignified shadow his father left behind, because he's too young for the kind of dramatic roles that Caleb had dazzled the world with.

There was nothing available to little Hunter that Philip felt lived up to the standards of Caleb in his prime. Which was understandable but disappointing. So, with a heavy exhale, which made Hunter worry the hem of this shirt ("Am I doing something wrong, Uncle?") Philip relented. Hunter would need a lengthy portfolio by the time he was older, so it was now time to start building this budding actor from the ground up.

Commercials, TV appearances, small film roles. Though it pained him to do so, Philip abandoned all the initial integrity he attached to his brother's legacy, and focused primarily on simply getting Hunter's face on a screen, any screen, whatever it took to get him entrenched in the industry.

Hunter was a lot more sensitive than other children. When he was very little, he had a bad tendency to get distressed over things like bright lights and unfamiliar places and weird textures. This led to a lot of on-set tantrums and he was deemed a difficult and entitled brat.

His "brattiness" never quite went away as he aged. But Philip did manage to curb those tendencies to be far less frequent. It involved brief private conversations in the nearest dressing room. When Hunter emerged, he was quieter and a lot more willing to co-operate with what the adults needed from him.

Hunter learned that misbehaving had consequences. He learned to swallow whatever obscure distress he was feeling and just do his job.

This didn't make his tantrums stop. They just shifted from regular occurances to big nasty explosions that build up over a period of weeks to months.

He eventually gave up trying to suppress them. It doesn't work. So, he just allows his emotions to burst out of him in the most humiliating public display a human being can put on, and then takes his punishment.

Uncle keeps telling him that people are going to think there's something wrong with him if he keeps doing this.

Hunter begs him to believe that there's not. There's not something wrong with him.

While it was happening, Philip would consider the 90s as a rocky beginning to his nephew's career. He didn't care much for any of the films or television series' Hunter appeared in, likely because he didn't care much for any production that included small children. So he was uninterested by default in any of the roles Hunter managed to book.

Regardless, this didn't make Philip any less demanding. Even if it was all tripe, and by God, he was very vocal about it all being tripe, he was still strict about Hunter's work ethic. The boy was expected to pour everything into his performance, and through there were very irritating child labor laws, Philip turned a blind eye to directors pushing the limits every now and again.

After long work days, Hunter would listen to his Uncle tear his current acting job to shreds. The stupid demeaning script that Caleb would be appalled at, but Hunter had no choice but to take, because he simply doesn't have the privilege to be picky.

Hunter felt a deep humiliation by his own career before he was even ten years of age. There was nothing that Philip held to Caleb standard, which left Hunter a paranoid wreck most of the time, fearing that he was always doing something wrong but never knowing how to fix it.

When he thinks back on being a little kid, he has a lot of memories of tearfully begging his Uncle to stop thinking of him a certain way or looking at him the way he does. He remembers his throat hurting. Things must have gotten loud.

An older Hunter would wince as he makes that connection. He remembers his throat hurting but not the consequences of raising his voice.

Every so often, a more prestigious opportunity presented itself to him (like the role of the protagonist's son in a film adaption of an American classic), and Hunter got so overwhelmed by the pressure of finally having something that could possibly hold a candle to Caleb Wittebane that he completely flubbed the audition and failed to book the role.

He knows that were dire consequences for not getting it. Although, once again, he doesn't remember the details of the punishment. But he remembers how tightly Uncle gripped his wrist as they walked out of the building. He remembers sitting perfectly still in the car, scared to make a sound by wriggling in his seat. Scared to breathe.

That was the 90s. That was Hunter's experience as a young child actor.

By the year 2000, he was ten and that's when Philip quietly realized something.

Hunter currently resembled Caleb Wittebane in miniature. He had his strong nose, his ashy hair, his dark eyes. Philip had always anticipated that there may be a bit of her in his nephew's appearance, but there wasn't a trace. It was beyond ideal.

This is when things should have gotten easier. This is when dignified job opportunities should have begun rolling in. This is when the world should have taken notice that Caleb Wittebane was not dead.

But this was not the case.

What Philip did not anticipate was that the industry had changed significantly since the 80s. It was the year 2000 and a young Caleb Wittebane was not what the industry wanted the future of film to look like.

He realized this in his study late one night as he obsessed over old video tapes. And once the truth had sunk in, he called Hunter into the room.

Hunter remembers wearing red pajamas patterned with beagle puppies. He has a memory of liking those pajamas a lot but can't recall the disappointment of growing out of them and throwing them away. It makes him suspect that at some point he just stopped wearing them.

On that night, a part of Philip gave up completely. He decided that this attempt of reviving his late brother's career was a failure before it had even started.

However, Philip was a deeply complex man. A remarkably stubborn man. So even when a part of him died, another part flared with life. It was the part of him that wanted to dig his heels in and say he wasn't done yet. Maybe they didn't want Caleb now, but this world was fickle. Who knows what they'd want in five years? In ten?

Hunter would continue making a name for himself, Philip would make sure of that.

Hunter would be something special if it damn near kills him.

And if he fails, Philip would kill the boy himself.

So, Hunter continues working diligently, attempting to find his footing in the rapidly changing environment. The early 2000s seem to be working overtime to distance itself from the 90s and it certainly takes some getting used to.

When Hunter is around eleven, he is told for the first time that he is not very nice to look at. According to various make up artists and hair stylists who he is left in the custody of when Kiki is god knows where, it's very easy to be cute as a small child. Baby fat n' all. But at a certain age, you start outgrowing it and that's when it becomes apparent whether you're going to be a handsome young man or not.

They gently break the news that there are not a lot of promising signs for Hunter. As one of the women, maybe in her late twenties, cups his face in her hands and tilts it towards the light (he really hates when strangers touch him), she sucks through her teeth and winces, as though she's trying to dig something out with her eyes but is coming up short. Nothing about his features reads as a future leading man. He can still have a steady acting career of course. But it's important he not get his hopes up too high. He's doesn't look like the typical Hollywood star.

Hunter argues with her. He riles himself up until his face flushes with rage. He looks just like his father, who was one of the most famous leading men of all time.

"Who's your Dad?" The woman asks.

Hunter frowns. He's never said the word "Dad" in his life. But the full name is familiar on his tongue when he answers the question.

"Oh, yeah," She says vaguely. "I think my parents used to watch his movies. I guess he was what they considered handsome in the 80s but..."

He doesn't like the way she trails off. He doesn't like all the new information being presented to him. He doesn't like her saying Caleb Wittebane wasn't handsome. In the world Hunter lives in, the man is picture perfect in every discernable way. He's never heard a bad word spoken of his father before, not even of the shallow variety. Uncle only lets him speak to people with nice things to say about Caleb. It's so jarring that it makes him feel nauseous. This isn't the way things are supposed to be.

And what's even worse, does looking like Caleb Wittebane not even matter?

Does this legacy he's supposed to carry on not matter?

That's always been one of his biggest fears, but he can not think about it for too long or the meltdown gets bad. But this new realization about his apparently mediocre looks catch him so off guard that he can't help it this time.

Hunter proceeds to hyperventilate in a supply closet for the next twenty minutes. He had never thought about what he looked like before. He had never really cared. He didn't know his appearance could hinder his career. He didn't know everything could fall apart just by having the face he does.

This is when a deep seated insecurity centered around his body image began spiraling out of control. It was also around the time that Hunter's dietary restrictions were being implemented, as were the intensity of his ballet lessons. This certainly did not help his already deteriorating self confidence.

From that point, Hunter is far more conscious of his own ambitions as an actor. He believes he is more than just a little boy who performs because it's what his Uncle tells him to do. He's a young man who wants to become a success like his father before him. He wants recognition. He wants acclaim. He wants...he wants....he wants something that he does not currently have.

As an adult, Hunter can only drag his fingers through his hair and sigh sympathetically at the thought of his young self believing that his determination to be a successful was ever for himself. It was for Uncle. It was for Caleb Wittebane. It was for everybody but himself. He was just a stupid kid who thought he wanted this because he knew nothing else.

The 2000s are a time when Hunter simultaneously starts slipping out of his iron confines, while getting reeled back tighter than ever. As he grows older, his curiosity becomes more and more insatiable and current pop culture is not as easy to shield him from. Especially when it's such a huge part of his life as an actor.

By the age of twelve, he's such a boring obedient self sufficient little robot that Kiki doesn't even bother monitoring him as severely as she once had. What's he gonna do, really?

And though Hunter is adamant that he never breaks his Uncle's rules, he finds himself shattering them to smithereens on a regular basis.

"I like authority. And rules," He says, ignoring the fact that there are piles of teen magazines tucked away under his mattress. Ignoring the hour of TV he sneaked in that Philip would have shattered the television screen over.

And no matter how many times Hunter wrinkles his nose in disapproval at how rowdy and frivolous today's youth are, he's still reading those trashy articles, desperate to find some connection. His small bubble of worldliness is beginning to grow.

It is slowly occuring to Hunter that he is much different than other kids. But that's a good thing....right? He's on a cleaner path than they are. None of them are being led by Philip Wittebane.

This is a good thing, he tells himself. This is a good thing, this is a good thing, this is a good thing--

However, Philip does crack down on an aspect of Hunter's autonomy that has been mostly ignored until now.

Though he tries not to think about it, as it gives him the most splitting headache, Philip must internally acknowledge those rumors from an age ago. The word of mouth telephone that crackled with the events of that one ridiculous party. Caleb Wittebane, age 17(!!!!) with his tongue down some filthy girl's throat.

The news hadn't been as scandalous as Philip viewed it as, and the world forgot about it remarkably fast. But he never forgot. And he never would. It was a pesky stain on the otherwise clean image that Philip was trying to preserve.

It hadn't been Caleb. It wasn't like him at all to behave in such an indecent way. It was her influence. It always was. Sometimes his blood boiled when he remembered how deeply interwoven she had become in his brother's life. How the child wouldn't even exist without her. It was vile. Eternally contaminating a narrative she had no business being a part of.

Obviously, he never told Hunter about all this. About the party. About the tongue. About the girl. He never mentioned the girl. She was a footnote at best.

Anyway, Hunter was almost thirteen. He was tumbling into adolescence. And no matter how singleminded and sensible he tried to act, there would be challenges to this physical and mental development. And Philip knew from personal experience that there was nothing more damaging to a clean Christian boy than fizzling teenage hormones.

There would not be a repeat of last time.

On Hunter's thirteenth birthday, his Uncle gifted him a chastity ring, like many of the other young people that attended their church.

Hunter was so floored by the gift he forgot how to speak. And when his Uncle put his hand on his shoulder and murmured "I know you won't let me down," Hunter had nodded solemnly, suddenly feeling so much older than he had been a moment before.

He now had a responsibility to refrain from things he hardly understood.

Philip felt this would be an effective precaution. It made Hunter feel important and Hunter loved to feel important.

All that concerned Philip was that the boy stick to his morals.

Keeping his stupid tongue in his stupid mouth was only the tip of the iceberg of what the rules of the chastity ring entailed, but Philip stressed the importance of it nonetheless.

And if the boy failed to do this one simple thing, Philip was going to gouge his eyes out.

A few months later, Hunter was hired to appear in an advertisement produced by his family's church. He, and several other actors in his age range, promoted the rings they wore to the children watching at home.

Hunter was very proud to be a part of it. He rarely got to do anything educational.

When Hunter was fourteen, he surprisingly booked a role as Sir William in some medieval fantasy film for swoony teen girls.

He rolled his eyes over it, but this was the point when Philip made it apparent to Hunter that swoony teen girls was a huge chunk of the target demographic of any actor his age so he best begin pandering. He was no Edric Blight (Hunter fucking hated Edric Blight) but he'd probably appeal to some.

The means of obtaining the role was not Hunter's talent alone, but it was because of a perfectionist director who wanted raw, emotionally gripping action scenes, and was disappointed that all the hazardous exploits in the script would require stunt doubles. No parent in their right mind would allow their child to be put in such dangerous conditions.

Enter Philip Wittebane and his nephew Hunter.

The film's shooting schedule had a rough history. And after a few months, production had to stop altogether when an on-set accident resulted in Hunter being sent to the hospital.

He remembers the hospital, specifically the very uncomfortable bed. He remembers rarely sleeping through the night unless he was drugged, as he kept waking up with panic attacks about all the money he was causing the studio to lose by not healing faster.

By the time the film released, Hunter was fifteen and already moving forward with his next project.

The Golden Guard was a TV adaption of a well loved comic book series that was currently in the development stages. Hunter has never read the comic (he's never read most comics, other than newspaper funny pages) but he's been informed that he is the spitting image of the titular character.

Initially he was skeptical. Who wants a famous superhero on their screen who looks like him? Certainly not current networks who have a very limited view of what leading men should look like, regardless of the comic it's being adapted from.

Apparently, a lot of negotiations have been taking place with the Golden Guard's creator, in order to obtain rights to the series. After months of arguing, they wore him down, as they always manage to wear creators down, and he agreed to hand over his baby.

The one condition that he managed to secure was that the boy cast for the screen resembled the boy on the page.

Hunter was fully aware that if it weren't for that old man's stubbornness, there was no way he would have been eligible for the role. He remembered seeing him appear once during a screen test and had wanted to thank him. The speech that fell out of him was flustered and clumsy, but it made the man smile.

"There are going to massacre the Golden Guard," He said with a bitter smile. "But I think you'll do well."

He never saw him again after that. And though Hunter did not have the frame of reference to have an opinion, the girl he would inevitably fall in love with happened to be a huge comic book nerd, being especially infatuated with the Golden Guard. And her opinions were strong.

"He was right, y'know," She would inform Hunter. "Your show is a steaming pile of shit." She would then kiss the tip of his nose. "But you're the best part of it."

Speaking of girls,

Hunter met Emira Blight a year prior when she and her twin brother also showed up for the chastity ring promotional ad. The two of them would have gotten fired for vandalizing the set and pranking the director if they weren't the most well known stars associated with the project.

Someone had tried to contact their mother to come get her children under control but she had failed to pick up the phone.

"Our precious little Mittens has an audition today," Emira explained, hands placed angelically behind her back.

"Until further notice, Mom has forgotten she has two other kids," Added Edric.

Emira smiled. "Like the next time she notices her stretch marks <33"

The two of them burst into giggles. They were left to be "disciplined" by members of the crew, who hadn't the faintest idea how to handle either of them.

Hunter had tried to avoid them while on set. He never had any personal encounters with them but he was well aware of their existence. They had been starring in twin centric comedies for the last decade or so, and were beloved talk show guests for being chatty, mischievous and overall "adorable."

Hunter found them obnoxious.

Edric more so than Emira. Especially lately, as the two were finally branching out into their own separate careers, rather than remaining a double act. Meaning Edric could be found sniffing around in the same auditions rooms as Hunter, going for the same roles.

Edric had a perfectly structured face, devoid of blemishes. He had the most photoshopped nose Hunter had ever seen, except he looked like that in real life apparently. He looked perfect and he was already a star to begin with. The roles were his the moment he stepped into the room.

But this wasn't about Edric. Edric was off somewhere else, performing the leading role in some teen musical movie that was going to become a worldwide phenomenon the moment it hit television screens.

This was about Emira, who had just been cast as Ruby Green, the Golden Guard's love interest.

Emira Blight was one of the most beautiful teenage girls in the entire world. Hunter knew this because he read it in a magazine once. More specifically, she placed 4th on the list, but that was still a pretty impressive accomplishment.

Hunter always had a difficult time deciphering the exact definition of beautiful. It was apparently a far different thing than what you would initially imagine.

From what he had gathered, it had nothing to do with being particularly interesting to look at, but having a nice and tidy face with all its features being a specific size and shape. He couldn't understand how one girl on that list could be in 8th place, while another could be in 3rd, as they all looked so startlingly similar.

That was what beautiful meant, he supposed.

There were definitely people that Hunter saw as beautiful in their own peculiar way. In the way that wasn't correct. Sometimes he saw them in movies from the 80s-90s. Sometimes he saw them in audition rooms, but they rarely booked the role.

Sometimes he even saw them on the street as the car drove past, people who made him sit up and want to look at them a little longer--

Girls. Girls on the street. Just girls. Only girls. It was only girls that he looked at on the street. It was only girls that he looked at ever.

Emira Blight had Edric's perfectly structured face, which made her beautiful in a celebrity kind of way, but also made Hunter want to look at her less. She had Rapunzel hair and a rail thin frame and, much to Hunter's dismay, she was taller than him.

The wardrobe department were given notes to add an extra few inches to the Golden Guard's boots.

"Little Prince indeed," The head stylist had murmured under his breath, just loud enough for Hunter to hear. An furious flush set his face aflame.

There were no screen test to determine Hunter and Emira's chemistry before the latter was cast, which resulted in hours of reshoots where they were chastised for the lack of romantic tension that they were putting into their performance.

To be perfectly honest, Hunter disliked Emira quite a bit and she disliked him too.

She carried her troublemaking tendencies from the promotional ad to the Golden Guard set, frequently wreaking havoc on the cast and crew.

Hunter had blown a gasket and berated her for it several times, but all she had done was smile her insufferable smile, roll her eyes and sing songingly tease him for being so uptight.

She made him mad. So uncomfortably mad. If he pulled the kind of stunts she pulled, without caring about the consequences, he would probably be dead by now.

Emira rarely got angry. Everything she did had this air of impish joy, but based on the way she spoke to Hunter, her opinion of him wasn't exactly glowing.

She called him arrogant, bossy, egotistical, to which he practically exploded in response. And then she made fun of how red in the face he got.

The only time Hunter ever saw Emira as anything less than her usual bombastic self was early in the morning, during hair and makeup.

"Are you washing your face, honey?"

"Yes," Answered Emira, looking smaller than ever in the makeup chair.

"Drinking plenty of water? Eating healthy? Staying away from junk food? Getting plenty of exercise?"

"Yes, yes, yes and yes," Emira's voice was quiet and automatic.

After a pause, she continued "It's not my fault."

The makeup artist hummed, unconvinced, which made Emira grip the seat so hard her fingers shook.

But the woman didn't push the matter any more and got to work on painting Emira's face into the porcelain masterpiece that made its way on to magazines.

Hunter watched in fascination as a few minutes of work with sponges and brushes wiped her skin clear of acne. And then she was what everyone around here would call beautiful once again.

When Emira noticed him looking, she said, in her usual playfully indifferent voice "I think Hunter's eyebags are getting worse."

"We know," The woman replied, exasperated.

The comment wasn't much, but it successfully corralled Hunter into his default mood. Not being enough. Any thoughts about Emira flew out the window, and he was back to fretting about his own inadequacy.

"And he's more sickly looking than usual," Emira decided to add.

"Well, maybe if he laid off the coffee. It's got him looking like a half-dead ghoul. No wonder it takes so long to make him look presentable."

It was a bad time for Hunter to be taking a sip of his takeaway cup. He frowned. "I've been awake since 4:30am."

"You should go to bed earlier then,"

"But I--"

"And kids shouldn't be drinking coffee at all."

"I'm not a kid!"

"Hush up. We've got work to do on this face and the last thing I need is to listen to you bitching again,"

Hunter glowered at her.

"You're gonna have wrinkles before you're 18 if you keep pouting like that."

He was so preoccupied with not throwing a temper tantrum that he didn't notice Emira leave the room.

The worst thing she ever did was while they were filming episode 3 and she had decided that Hunter's uptight behaviour deserved a humbling punishment. He didn't know how but she had somehow managed to break into his trailer and scavenged the place for something embarrassing.

This resulted in his stuffed frog Sprig being paraded around the set in Emira's arms as she declared the toy's owner to everyone who would listen in a high pitched trill. Everybody. She told everybody. Everybody knew about his toy. And now nobody was going to treat him seriously.

And when Hunter finally processed what was happening, all he had wanted to do was cry.

But he couldn't cry. Because fifteen year old boys don't cry. But he wanted to cry so badly that his usual screaming rage was nonexistent. He was just completely deflated.

He silently took the frog from Emira's possession and walked away. She had seemed confused, not understanding why he was not turning his funny red colour and yelling his head off.

She didn't bait him as much after that. She rarely spoke to him at all, outside of filming.

At one point she had randomly burst into his trailer, brandishing a magazine full of women in bikinis.

"For you!" She announced proudly. "A gift."

Hunter was a little slow on the uptake because a bikini magazine being within ten feet of his person was so incriminating that immediately thinking of the consequences nearly made him black out.

When he could speak again, he exploded "ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?? GET THIS OUT OF HERE!!"

"No, no, listen," Emira insisted. "I know your Uncle is like. Super Christian--"

"So am I!"

"And I know you're never gonna get your hands on this stuff by yourself. So, I'm helping,"

"Why do you even have this?" Hunter demanded, disgusted.

Emira took more than half a second to answer. "It's Ed's."

As if anything on earth could have made Hunter want to touch the thing less.

"Why..." He began, lost. "Why would you ever think I would want this?"

Emira cocked her head at him, puzzled. "You're a boy."

"Get out."

At the time, Hunter had presumed this to be another means of humiliating him, because he had quickly written Emira off as inexplicably cruel. But in hindsight, she had probably just been trying, in her own emotionally stunted way, to apologize to him. She had known next to nothing about boys and she knew even less about herself, other than she was a thing boys were meant to be obsessed with.

They were both just stupid kids who couldn't communicate properly to save their lives, because they had never learned how.

As a child, Emira ranged from a mild bully to an indifferent co-star, to an acquaintance of Hunter's. As an adult, she was the close friend in his Instagram comments section who kept hitting on his wife.

She still never figured out boys, but she figured out herself.

But again, getting ahead of ourselves.

Despite being the only two teenagers on set, Hunter and Emira did not spend much time together unless they were working. Once she settled down and stopped causing problems, Emira spent a lot of her time across the studio to visit her little sister, who was filming some preteen comedy show.

Hexside it was called. Some some vapid sugary husk of a television production that had magic and witches, yet not an ounce of dignity. Hunter had become quite a ruthless critic when it came to TV and film, mostly because he had spent his whole life in the company of a man with sky high standards.

It also helped him feel better about his own work as an actor. The glass half full method. Maybe the Golden Guard was not going to be the most brilliant show of all time, but at least he wasn't working on Hexside.

He had caught glimpses of Emira's sister a few times around the studio, mostly because her hair had been dyed a bright garish teal, so she was impossible to miss.

There were other cast members scattered about, you could usually tell from the explosion of layers and clashing patterns they were dressed in. Chunky belts, brightly coloured converse, weird pointy hats, jangly jewelry. They were a visual overload.

On one occasion, Hunter was waiting in line at the canteen. He was feeling lightheaded again, like if he didn't eat something in the next hour he would probably pass out while shooting. The last time that happened, it was really embarrassing.

He was a little zoned out, so he didn't pay them much attention at first. But then the poofy tutu-like skirt and zebra print leggings caught his eye, if only for him to wonder how in the Lord's name these young actors ever signed up for this ridiculous show.

It was a girl and a boy and their conversation entailed some familiar words and names that Hunter hadn't heard said in months.

Ah. The movie. The swoony teen girl movie. That had just released in theaters, hadn't it?

That's when the girl brazenly stated "I wanna sink my teeth into Sir William," successfully knocking Hunter straight out of the realm of sensibility.

What. In the name of all that is holy. Is that supposed to mean???

And also.....he's Sir William.

"You want to BITE ME??" Hunter finds himself blurting out, completely flummoxed. Was that a threat of violence? Did she not like his performance? Did she find his voice annoying like those other film critics? He used to get a lot of death threats for that when he was younger but...

It didn't really sound like a death threat. It was was just....absurd. How was he supposed to take this?

The girl whipped around, flashing Hunter with a very bright pair of green eyes. They were blown wide in panic, and she looked at him like he was the one about to bite her.

(He wasn't about to bite her.)

The girl wasn't tall, but she was big. Broad shoulders and a thick chubby build. Her face was rounder than he usually saw in young actresses, and her nose was wide and flat.

All he could really think as he was digesting these all details at once was....she was interesting to look at.

Hunter watched as a fluorescent shade of pink burned across her lightly freckled cheeks and the girl scurried away, flanked by the younger boy, calling after her.

For some reason, Hunter turned around to watch her leave until she was completely out of sight.

He was left more confused than ever.

What did he do that deserved biting? He never found out.

(Well, he found out eventually but....)

He continued to see that girl around the studio sometimes, as well as the young boy that accompanied her, and Emira's little sister.

The bigger girl usually tried to hide whenever she saw him, though Hexside's flamboyant wardrobe department made that nearly impossible. Hunter presumed she was embarrassed by what she said, though he really wasn't all that offended. He had heard way worse. The thing that drew his attention to her was actually the lengths she would go to to make herself invisible. He watched her dive under a table once.

Hunter usually just stared, not remembering until an hour later that embarrassed people don't like being stared at.

Eventually, Hunter and Emira started spending occasional school hours with the Hexside cast's tutor, which resulted in them all being lumped in a room together.

Her name was Willow Park, he learned. And with a little exposure therapy, she stopped blushing every time he was within ten feet of her. Though they still never really talked, she seemed to become a little more comfortable with his existence.

She didn't look at him much though. Or anybody for that matter. She seemed to be very guarded and closed off whenever they were in the school room. Hunter had also noticed that the tutor had to spend more time with her than anyone else.

But Willow Park was not currently where Hunter's head was at the moment. He had other things to deal with.

The recent Golden Guard script had been delivered to Hunter and did not really like what it had to say.

Apparently several episodes of the romantic tension that Hunter and Emira were famously bad at was finally coming to fruition in this big grand dramatic kiss scene.

Hunter did not think about kissing much because it made him feel very weird and squirmy, but he was always well aware that if he was ever kissing a girl anytime soon, it would probably be circumstances like this.

His opinion on romance in general is that he wasn't quite sure if it was something that could really happen in real life or if it was just a concept made up for TV.

First kisses were considered a milestone in the shows and magazines Hunter had secretly devoured. Something sacred and significant. It can't be with just anyone.

Admittedly, it had Hunter second guessing himself a little bit. Is his first kiss important? Or is that just a bunch of silly TV fluff with no grounds in reality?

It doesn't matter if it's Emira, does it? He's read books where first kisses are supposed to feel like you've been electrocuted. But in a good way. He can't imagine being electrocuted in a good way.

He gets his answer on the day of shooting when the kiss is ordered of him.

He should be grateful that they've been directed to keep it chaste. They both wear rings after all, and this is a family show.

Hunter squeezed his eyes shut, because eyes are always shut when people kiss in movies. And his mouth pricks Emira's mouth. And that's it. That's his first kiss over and done with.

And when he opens his eyes, a little underwhelmed and vaguely wondering why everything feels the exact same, Emira looks disappointed too.

That's when he realizes that the significance of first kisses is all lights and cameras. It's made up for TV. None of it is real.

But what he can't understand in the moment is why he feels a bit sad. There's no reason to feel sad.

But it's an annoyingly heavy emotion that sticks with him for the rest of the day.

They do a million shoots. Or what feels like a million. Hunter kisses Emira what feels like a million times. He had gone from having never kissed before to having kissed far too many times in one day.

And not a single kiss felt like anything but the usual emptiness that Hunter was used to.

During shooting breaks, he thought a little too much about how everything was just going to be like this. Forever. All of his experiences. Scripted. Made up. Not real.

Nothing was ever going to be real.

He didn't usually think about things like that. But now he was finding it hard to think about anything else.

Hunter couldn't sleep that night. You would think he'd sleep soundly when he had to get up before the crack of dawn, but he continued to struggle. Too much caffeine, too much brain bees that never shut up.

Tonight it was that one single thought of an entirely artificial lifetime.

Hunter was never going to be real.

After hours of restless tossing and turning, he left his bed and went downstairs, his footsteps expertly navigating across the creaky floorboards. He would watch something terrible on TV and he'd get so distracted by hating it that he'd forget his own problems.

After pushing a button, the first thing that appeared on Hunter's screen was a familiar girl's rounder than average face and bright green eyes.

Apparently, the Hexside Pilot had premiered recently. Hunter scoffed, making himself comfortable and deliberately tuning into whatever brain rotting stuff he was about to experience.

Unsurprisingly, he hated it. It was terrible. Cheap jokes. Flimsy plots. An obnoxious laugh track. He had never seen a worse show in his life.

Nothing is real, I'm not real, I'm not real, Nothing is real, I'm not real....

The costumes looked just as ridiculous on screen as they did in the studio.

Nothing is real....

The sets were cheap.

I'm not real....

Hunter abruptly paused mid laugh track, and stared at Willow Park's interesting face for an additional moment.

He knew absolutely nothing about this girl. Absolutely nothing.

The character she played was borderline illiterate, and Hunter genuinely could not say how much of her he was seeing was a script and how much was her.

But she was very lookable.

Are you real?

#tw child abuse #a lot of it!!!!!#tw for....belos in general #how do i even tag this. he's really creepy and it delves into a few uncomfortable subjects #some very weird policing of teenage bodies. it is meant to be weird i promise you #tw religious trauma #THATS IT!!! that is certainly a thing that is happening #La La Land Machine AU

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gabessquishytum · 6 months

Note

Hob is over 600 hundred years old, he’s got a ton of trauma that he never knew how to deal with until he learns about something in the early 2000’s…. Age regression. Hob didn’t have a childhood in the traditional sense so the idea of going to back to a childlike mind set fascinated him, but now he can’t exactly control when it happens. Whenever he gets stressed out his mind instantly goes to it, which had caused some problems especially after his stranger, Dream came back into his life. Hob had to pretend, hide his stuffed ducky and paci whenever Dream came over. He had to control his mind if anything vaguely distressing came up. This of course became an even BIGGER problem once him and Dream got together, they started sleeping in the same bed (well Hob slept anyway) and his ducky hadn’t seen the light in many weeks. Everything was going great until Dream asks a question. “Hob dear…are you pregnant?” Dream asks one day laying his head in Hob’s lap as the bigger man was reading a book. All this got was a book dropped on his face. “Oh dream I’m so sorry are you alright? You just um startled me with the question,” Dream of course was fine no mere mortal book could pose any threat to him, although under the cover of darkness he would admit his nose hurt a little.

“I am perfectly fine, Hob Gadling. But you have not answered my question.”

“Dream…I don’t know how to tell you this but I don’t exactly have the parts to get pregnant.”

“hmm,” Dream pondered, “how strange” he said laying back in Hob’s lap.

“wait wait wait hang on..why you’d think i was pregnant?”

“you dream of nurseries, baby bottles, stuffed animals…I don’t mean to look into your dreams but when we were in such close proximity it just happened I’m very sorry for invading your privacy,”

“was it a duck?” “Pardon?”

“the stuffed animal was it a duck?” Dream only nods in response.

it takes Hob a few more weeks to actually tell Dream what that meant. His Dreams had become more frequent and Dream was learning things but he wasn’t sure how to apply them. This was of course until Hob was mid panic attack and Dream somehow knew the duck was in the closet. “Hob…hob look at me,”

he looks up from his position on the floor barely able to breathe.

“I found a friend who really wants to talk to you,” Dream pulls out the duck from behind him and Hob immediately snatches it, seeming to calm down immensely. Dream didn’t ask questions that night, only comforted Hob, that however does not stop him from asking questions later. “You are not with child,”

Hob chuckles stirring his soup. “I know that love,”

“You are the child,”

Hob drops his spoon, he wants to run he wants his ducky, but he has to stay strong and deny everything.

“I am 600 years old I’m less of a child than your average person,”

Dream walks over to him and cradles Hob’s face in his hand.

“Hob…darling.”

He can’t look at Dream, he can’t.

“I’m not going to judge you, I merely wish to help you,”

Hob sighs and tells Dream everything. it’s a slow process after that, Hob formally introduces Dream to Ducky and shows him the pacifier after that, those being his only two items, Dream intended to change that. And after a few weeks a…dynamic began to emerge. And a year and a half later this is where our story unfolds.

Hob had a bad day, dream can sense it a dark cloud had entered the New Inn and it was quickly coming up the stairs, Dream wasn’t quite sure if Hob needed his other moniker today he would wait until the other man told him. Hob taught a lesson on the 1600’s because of his class schedule he technically taught it three times, he hated his unit on the 1600’s but someone had to do it. He was dropping fast he had to get upstairs, everyone knew not to speak to Mr. Gadling when he got in a bad mood because he usually didn’t talk back and looked like he didn’t understand what you were saying.

When he gets up there, the doors unlocked. Dream knows, little Hob has such trouble with locks. He opens the door and there stands Dream with a look of such openness and sympathy Hob knows he definitely knows. “D-d-da daddy,” Hob manages to choke out crying. Oh he definitely needed Dream’s other D moniker today. Dream swoops Hob into a hug, after so much time he was a professional at this. He holds Hob’s face in his hands. “Tell me what you need little one,”

“h-hungry”

Dream knew, he had known Hob was doing lectures on the 1600’s he would feel his hunger more acutely. He had prepared for this. He holds him close, petting his hair. “oh my poor baby is hungry, that just won’t do, why don’t we get dressed for a night in, and Daddy will get your bottle off the stove, how’s that little one?” Hob only nods, letting Dream hold his hand and lead him to the bedroom. Getting dress for a night in meant Hob’s little pajamas made of the softest and most comfortable Dreamstuff of course. Soon Dream heard the ding of the stove as he was settling Hob in bed. “Now my darling boy, you stay right here while Daddy goes and gets your bottle,” Hob looks hesitantly off to the side. “What’s wrong, hob?” “D-ducky,”

that’s what Dream had forgot! He summoned Ducky from his corner in the closet and handed him to Hob.

“Ducky!” Hob was delighted and held on to his bird companion close

Dream chuckled and went to fetch Hob his bottle. When he returned it seemed as if Hob was animatedly telling Ducky about his day, it was mostly baby babble that Dream didn’t understand, but Ducky could, Ducky always understood. Dream quietly knocked on the door so as to not startle Hob.

“Hobbit, Daddy’s got your bottle,”

Hob looked up and squealed in delight at Dream’s presence or at the presence of food, Dream wasn’t sure, it didn’t matter anyhow all that mattered was that Hob was happy.

Dream came up to Hob’s side of the bed.

“Dweam!”

“Yes Hob Dream is here,”

He goes to hand Hob the bottle but strangely Hob only looks at it.

“Oh, is someone really little? Can Daddy hop into bed with you?”

Hob nods and Dream slides into next to him.

“Do you want me to feed you?”

Hob nodded eagerly, he must have been very young to be almost nonverbal.

Dream maneuvered the both of them until Hob was in Dream’s lap.

He held the bottle up and Hob drank down almost greedily.

“Slow down little one you don’t want to upset your tummy, my, my, someone was hungry, wasn’t he?”

Dream fed Hob and rocked him back and forth as he cuddled Ducky.

“You’re my good, brave little boy. You did so well today. Now it’s time for daddy to take care of you,”

Once Hob had finished his bottle Dream fed him some sugar coated strawberries to get some solid food in him.

“Full”

“Oh good boy, thank you for telling Daddy.”

Dream put away the strawberries and rubbed Hob’s little tummy.

Sometimes when Hob was little Dream would park him in front of the tv, this was usually on the weekends when Hob regressed more to decompress than anything else. Little Hob was obsessed with cartoons, he’d sit for hours unmoving fascinated by the moving pictures, Dream started diapering him after one too many accidents. But Hob didn’t need that right now. Right now he needed his Daddy.

“Alright baby boy, do you want daddy to tell you a story?”

After that he had fallen asleep in Dream’s arms.

Although there are pit falls when this happens…

—————————

The next morning….

Dream was in the kitchen preparing some tea waiting for Hob to wake up, he never woke up regressed so this was bound to be entertaining.

“Aw fuck I did it again, we’re really in it now, Ducky,” he could hear Hob mutter from the bedroom.

“Dream,” he called from the bedroom.

“Yes darling?”

“I uh… wet…my ……protection,”

Dream chuckled, he always did.

“Do you need Daddy’s help?” Dream teased.

“What! No no I got it I’ll just do it myself, I’m a grown man thank you very much,”

Dream chuckled and headed for the bedroom, he never in fact did it himself.

-🦎

So I have little to no experience with writing age regression BUT I'm absolutely fascinated and delighted by the concept! And let me tell you, age regression + Hob made me absolutely melt. I feel like I could really get into what an amazing way this would be for him to cope with immortality (because while it is a gift, it causes significant strain on him) but mostly I just want to appreciate how cute this is!!! Hob and Ducky melted my heart, he's such a sweet boy and I'm so glad Dream will be taking good care of him from now on!! The whole thing about him being extra hungry when he's little just made my whole chest clench up - give that baby his bottle!!!!!

Also love fully grown Hob at the end and how they're teasing each other, loving each other, accepting each other. No real embarrassment, because Hob knows that he's loved and cared for! Plus him still talking to Ducky absolutely cracked me up.

I would definitely love to see more of this kind of thing in the dreamling-sphere! Thank you so much for sharing this adorable little ficlet.

#🦎 anon #the sandman #dreamling #nsft #cw age regression #cw piss #cw agrere

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nikethestatue · 4 months

Note

Hi and sorry this is pretty long. I am the anon who asked about the “why sjm would have included az in the mating bond storyline, when she already had a 3rd party” ask. I just wanted to elaborate on my thought processes around this and get your opinion. I always ask myself when reading a book and guessing about potential storyline’s what did the inclusion or lack of inclusion of this scene, that person, that bit of information bring to the plot and how can it move current storyline’s along. With the el/lu storyline that we have at present, her not accepting the bond, being uncomfortable around him and him being almost indifferent to her at this point what would we need to do to get with them to get them from point a to b. Well we could stay with this, have el still fighting the bond because of reasons but slowly giving in, could use a lot of popular troupes in this storyline, forced proximity, one horse/bed, fake dating and missunderstandings etc, make it angsty and eventually they do fall in love. Bingo! a to b achieved. No need for Az to have been brought in at all. Or we could have the love triangle storyline once again no need for Az we already had gray, could have had the plot be unable to accept becoming fae, staying with gray (even tho he was a raging prick, which has the bonus of helping have the readers rooting for Luc instead of having readers divided between Az/luc) because it’s her last threads to her humanity, it could of been her journey in accepting not being human (but we already kinda had that plot point with nes/cass so unlikely) luc helping her thru it and having to overcome a 3rd party, possible troupes, watching yr mate be with someone else (done with Rhys/feyre), jealousy, mutual pining, misunderstandings lots of areas to explore here. Anyway you get where I’m going with this, the point being, no matter which way you look at it Az didn’t need to be included in el storyline in order to achieve the end goal of having el/luc together. In fact it just makes it messy for an author to tie up all loose threads and have everyone come out happy including the reader. Also applies to the imfamous bonus chapter. You have to ask yrself what was the motivation for the author of including 2 intimate scenes involving one person, one intimate scene of 2 MAIN characters that gets interrupted and then immediately having the male go and have another intimate scene with a side character. If you wanted the 2nd scene to imply a romantic connection you could of just left the 1st scene out all together and still had the same outcome. You didn’t need to end el/az to start az/gwyn because in the actual books, although it’s been hinted at, it hasn’t been confirmed. Why do things in the 2nd scene that are unromantic, even antiromantic, like a guy regifting a gift from one girl to the next, (he could of gone to the library the next day with literally anything else and the scene would have been the same) why have him simping for a girl immediately before going to the actual love interest. Why make a messy situation, once again, when you didn’t need to unless you never intended for the 2nd scene to be romantic. Which ever way you look at it having the az/el storyline confirmed in the bonus matters because otherwise you’ve created a narrative nightmare for both the el/luc and az/gwyn storylines that didn’t need to exist if it, ultimately, wasn’t going to mean anything

No you are absolutely right. There is no need for Azriel in that situation. Unless you actually need him to be partnered with Elain. Especially not for this long.

I've entertained many options for how Elucien can happen--and yet, if SJM wanted to write Elucien, slow burn, learning to like and then love each other, it's very possible. But there is enough of an obstacle in there--their mutual reluctance, and especially Elain's--that Azriel isn't needed. They'd have enough to overcome without the interference of another character. At most, he could've played a Tarquin-like role. A short flirtation, for a chapter or two. Not all these pivotal scenes which SJM gave Azriel, and not Lucien.

There also wouldn't be the need for Vassa or Lucien living there. In these books, you want the man to fight for his woman. He should pursue her, woo her, court her, not peace out and shack up with another female. I mean, there is no real come back from that.

"Hey Elain, I know we were mates and all, but I was banging Vassa while you were deciding. No, I didn't do everything in my power to convince you and show you the man that I am, who is worth loving and who is worth your eternity. I left at the first sign of trouble."

That's really kind of not an ideal setup.

And there is nothing to say about Gwynriel, because it's not an obstacle as it doesn't exist.

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ariesbilly · 1 year

Note

What do you think about a deaf billy AU?

where Neil moved his family to the middle of nowhere Indiana because he knows 80s bumfuck nowhere doesn’t have a lot of support for disabled ppl and hates his son (as we all know)

At first billy tries to hide it, he had gotten used to learning how to read lips and make inferences on what people were saying, if he happened to miss something? He’d just brush it off, saying he wasn’t paying attention.

Billy might have a slight deaf voice, Neil probably came along with his “no son of mine” spiel so Billy had to learn how to speak as Neil thought was “normal”.

Steve begins to notice something different about Billy; slowed reaction time, really focusing on people’s faces, etc, and brings it up to Joyce.

Joyce, concerned, waits until the next time Billy is in her store to ask if everything is okay. Billy panics, he thought he was doing perfect, if he doesn’t his dads gonna kill him, so he very quickly excuses himself out of the store.

Maybe some further concerned Steve and Joyce? Teaming up to help out Billy? 🥹

i am into all of this. i wanna say way back in the early days of the fandom there was a deaf!billy fic i read.... or it was steve. or it was neither of them and im thinking of another fandom entirely lmfao anyway!

this would put their little staredown at tinas in a whole new context...honestly it puts a lot of billy scenes in new context that boy loves to look and watch and observe.

i would also like to bring in cali bros argilly and say that argyle and billy learned to sign together back home bc neil surely wasnt going to put billy in classes and surely not learn himself, maybe billy had teachers at school who helped? but argyle wanted to learn too since they were besties and he was really the only person billy could talk to after that. so when the hargroves move to indiana billys on his own again and since he doesnt want to out himself as being deaf and ask if anyone knows how to sign, he just pretends to be aloof and like he doesnt give a shit about what anyone says to him (which isnt like... untrue lol)

if he and max still have a bad relationship in this au maybe she hasnt bothered to learn how to sign either cuz like... why is she gonna need it to talk to billy? they dont talk period

steve calling billys name when hes not looking trying to get his attention and it never working so a lightbulb goes off in his head and he starts writing notes to see if that works and sure enough...

joyce picking up books from the library and learning very basic signs for the next time billy comes into the store. she's just trying to be polite but it still makes billy panicky that someone knows. ooooh if neil and billy come into the store one day and she overhears neil giving billy shit about not listening to him and how he needs to get his shit together etc etc and she immediately decides this man needs to be put down like she is not having it but she also knows theres not a whole lot she can do right now besides make her presence known and get him to back down.

steve helping billy out in the classes they share together and even in the classes they dont he finds a way to get notes from other people without letting them know its for billy, and billys constantly wondering how steve keeps pulling this off but steve wont reveal his secrets. them developing this silent language on the basketball court that makes them unbeatable... many thoughts many thoughts

idk how joyce and steve end up joining forces in all of this but i know they do!

#harringrove #billy hargrove #briana answers things

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camilaxmartin · 1 year

Text

christmas time

navigation // request // masterlist

summary: christmas is around the corner and lesso isn’t the type to celebrate or so she thought

warnings: none i think [not fully proof read; i’m gonna do it today probably]

notes: i literally adore this fic. i was supposed to publish it at christmas but my family just wouldn’t leave me alone so i didn’t have the time to finish it. took me all my free time from my winter break. anyway, i hope you enjoy it as much as i did. [it has 14k words so good luck]

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>•<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

i ran through the corridor being already late, again. this time it was lesso’s class that i was running late for and i knew i was gonna get in some trouble for this happening again… third time this week, actually. christmas break was almost there and i had a lot going on in my mind but this didn’t work as an excuse with lesso. almost none of them worked, to be honest. she said at the start of our first year that we should not be worried about christmas till the break comes and not even day before. easier said than done when, despite the fact of being a never, i needed to take care of so many things connected with celebrating. two years ago i discovered that lesso wasn’t the person who celebrates christmas with joy. i could call her a grinch but i would probably get into more trouble than i already am in. i have been holding down to my books while still not slowing down when i finally saw the door at the end of the hall. why did her class need to be at the opposite side of the school from my room? gasping for air i ran even faster and finally reached the doorknob. gently pressing down on it i opened the door to the class. suddenly my eyes saw the expressions of all the students surprised that someone would be interrupting while the lesson was on. lady lesso’s eyes immediately flew to my face and at that moment i knew i was screwed. she smiled at me with one of her typical smirks and slowly get up from her chair. i wanted to swiftly move and get to my desk but i knew she would hold me back anyway so i just stayed in my place waiting for her to come up to me. she walked up and stood right before me, only a few centimetres separated us. she looked down at me, despite the fact she was taller than me and was wearing heels. she gently shook her head to the sides.

“you’re late.” she said and her eyes decreased.

“i know.” i responded looking her straight into the eyes. feeling brave i see. “and i’m sorry for that.”

“i bet you are.” she bit out a small laugh. “it’s the third time. this week.” her voice became more intense at the end of the sentence. i bit my lip. “don’t you have any explanation?” she asked with something teasing in her voice. that was new.

“nothing you will be proud of.” i whispered but she caught it anyway. “i was getting ready for christmas and totally lost track of time.” i said, this time for everyone to hear me. lesso rolled her eyes at me.

“i’m not proud in fact.” she responded and her eyes become as cold as they were before i got into the class. she came a step closer to me. “i’m kind of disappointed.” she added and shook her head once again. students started to whisper but i tried to ignore them, as usual. they always whisper something about someone. after almost three eyes in this school and after being a never for as long it’s something you get used to eventually. or just don’t give a damn about it. either way. “i think the doom room would do excellent for you.” she said with a cheshire cat’s smile and turned around wanting to go back to her seat. something in me exploded and i just couldn’t understand why she was being so emotionless.

“it’s almost christmas. can’t you be a little bit more understanding and just chill out a bit?” i asked and all the students’ eyes widened. lesso has turned her head back immediately making strong eye contact with me. she then came back to me and now was standing even closer than before. i could smell her perfume and it definitely wasn’t helping me right now.

“what did you just say?” she asked putting my bravery or stupidity, for a try. i swallowed the saliva that has gathered in my mouth and while not taking my eyes away from her i made myself stood up to her once again.

“it’s almost christmas. why can’t you be understanding for once?” i asked and her eyes also widened at my response.

“you’re wasting my time.” she said with actual thunders in her eyes but also a scoff. “stay in after the class ends. i need to have a little chat with you.” she added and as quick as she was standing before me she was sitting in her chair once again. i rolled my eyes and walked to my seat finally being able to get some rest from all the previous running.

the lesson was more boring that usual. there wasn’t any christmas atmosphere (of course) and it made everything even worse. i just couldn’t sit in place so i started fidgeting with anything my fingers could find. even though i was listening to lesso my mind was in a totally different place. the yule ball, to be precise. it’s a magical event, school dance organised every year. part of passing the subject for evers but for nevers it is just strictly a chance to have some fun. of course asking someone to the dance was a thing for the side of good but many nevers were also choosing someone special to spend this time with. not because they had to, just because they simply wanted to. and it was heartwarming, actually. this year yule ball was going to be my third one. penultimate one. previous two years i was going with my friends but this year i wanted to take my special person to it. but there was only one, tiny problem with that. she hated christmas and would definitely laugh at me if i asked her out. letting out a big sigh no one seemed to notice i looked at the teacher’s face again, trying to come up with something she would have to agree on. lesso on the other hand was almost sitting on the front of her desk while looking at the whole class. i think most nevers were focused on her words not because they were interested in whatever she was saying but because they felt this weird kind of fear towards her. the redhead was looking surprisingly bored herself but that’s something i’ll bring up later on.

finally we heard wolf’s howling and people started to pick up their things and exit the class. almost everyone was gone when hester and anadil stopped in place before the door, exactly where i and lesso were standing previously. both me and the redhead looked at them surprised why they weren’t leaving. both girls looked up and we also understood why they froze in place. over their heads we all saw a small piece of mistletoe attached to the doorframe. both girls quickly looked at each other and blushed slightly. lesso rolled her eyes at them but didn’t say a thing. hester then, softly grabbed anadil’s cheek and pecked her lips. the other girl kissed her back almost immediately but hester suddenly pulled back and ran away. anadil did the same closing the door behind her.

“that’s why they were whispering.” i said and lesso’s eyes flew to me, still sitting in my seat.

“stand up.” she said and i slowly did as i was told. “come closer to me.” she added still being pressed against her desk. i walked slowly to her standing right before her. she caught my eyes once again and i uncontrollably bit my lip. she smiled at me but then remembered the real reason for our meeting.

“why do you hate christmas?” i asked and she seemed surprised by my sudden question. she placed her right hand on my left cheek.

“i don’t hate them. i just don’t feel the need to celebrate them. and the atmosphere died so long ago since i was brought to this school.” she joked at the end but i didn’t laugh. she also calmed herself down almost immediately.

“then why can’t you be a little bit more relaxed?” i asked and she looked away from me. of course, not because she was scared more like she was starting to get bored.

“you have whole break for celebrating. that’s enough.” she said and the grip on my cheek tightened a bit. her eyes looked into mine once again.

“lesso.” i said and her attention was directed fully to me. “you’re not going to punish me?” i asked and she smiled at my words.

“no. not at all.” she responded and stroked my cheek. “consider it an early christmas gift.” she added and snored at her own words. “i also adore that boost of confidence in you.” i rolled my eyes playfully at her. my arms then wrapped around her neck while my legs were on the both sides of hers. she surprisingly didn’t mind.

“i…” i started but my voice died the moment it came out of my mouth. her other hand found my waist and brought me even closer to her. our noses almost touching.

“what is it, my love?” she asked seeing something was definitely on my mind. i took a deep breath and looked away from her.

“i have a question.” i said and looked at her again noticing she was looking at me all the time. her face softened a bit.

“go ahead, darling.” she said being concerned. in that moment she was prepared for hearing something extremely amazing or terribly awful. i wasn’t ready to ask her yet, but i knew i couldn’t get myself out of this situation so it will be just better to try. well, here comes nothing.

“i wanted to ask you out.” i said and she smiled at me, warm feeling filling up her body from the inside. but sadly that wasn’t the end on my sentence. “to the yule ball.” i added whispering. lesso’s smile was immediately gone.

“definitely not.” she responded still looking at my face. i tried holding the tears wanting to form in my eyes.

“but lesso, please-“ i wanted to argue but she interrupted me right away.

“no, and that’s final.” she said not leaving any chance for me to discuss it. “also, you know it would come with making our relationship public and i’m not sure how to feel about that one.” she explained looking away from my face and her eye sight was roaming all around the class behind me.

“thought so.” i responded and wanted to get away from her but her grip didn’t let me. her attention was back at me again and she gripped my cheek harder once again.

“don’t act childish.” she said and i rolled my eyes at her. my hands still placed around her neck gripped her skin a bit tighter. she swallowed quickly a sparkle shinning in her eyes for a moment.

“that’s just something important to me.” i responded and this time she rolled her eyes at me. “but it’s okay. you don’t have to care about that.” i continued remembering after all, she’s the dean of the school for evil, a devil herself. why did i ever bother myself with thinking she would change her mind for me? pathetic, as always.

“don’t be ridiculous.” she said with a stern tone. “besides that i’m telling you, i’m not ready for making our relationship public. and i certainly don’t think christmas is the best time for it.” she added and i shrugged at her.

“no surprise.” i said and she rolled her eyes at me again. relationship with lesso was a tough cookie. she was the best person i could ever ask for while also being my worst nightmare. when lesso put her mind to something there was nothing or no one able to change her view. no matter how much she cared or tried to care about that someone. lesso was just to stubborn to even argue with. she stroked my cheek again bringing me back to earth.

“you can come to my room while the ball will be on. we are going to have plenty of time for ourselves then.” she offered definitively trying to make it up for me somehow. i shook my head at her.

“i’ll probably go with my friends. like the years before.” i responded and she stayed silent. “also i promised dovey to see her there and she even asked me to dance with her like a month ago so i can’t let her down like that.” i said and she rolled her eyes at the mention of her fellow coworker i also had a close relationship with. “don’t get jealous, you know dovey is like a mom to me.” i said seeing her expression and she immediately smiled at my words.

“i know, darling. sometimes i just wish you could be for me only.” she said and slowly came closer to my neck, leaving a kiss there. my hands gently wrapped themselves into her red hair keeping her in place.

“i am yours and yours only.” i said feeling more and more pleased from her kisses. she smiled to my neck nibbling at it a bit harder. i bit my lip not wanting to cause a scene in the middle of lessons. she let go of my skin after a moment leaving a red spot. lesso didn’t fully pull back from my skin till almost my whole neck was covered in red or purple marks. when she was finally satisfied with her work she slowly pulled away making eye contact with me.

“i wish you luck with covering this.” she said and the hand that was previously on my cheek now was swinging around my neck touching the marks she just left.

“maybe i don’t want to cover it up.” i responded and her smiled faded a bit. her hand also disappeared same as the other one. at this point the things keeping us in constant contact were my hands around her neck and in her hair. they slowly slid out of her hair and stopped at her shoulders.

“you should go. you will be late to your lesson again.” she said still looking into my eyes in reality not wanting for me to leave. i smiled at her sadly and one of my hands grabbed her cheek this time. she relaxed into my skin adoring this type of touch.

“i think i’m gonna get rest of the day off.” i said and stroked her cheek while her eyes closed slowly. “i was doing pretty good lately, not counting the times i was late, so a few absences won’t hurt me.” i explained and she cuddle in my hand even more.

“as a teacher i can’t allow that.” she said while she opened her eyes to look at me with the look full of love and adoration. all this from so little attention. maybe lesso was hard to please, or she just seemed like it, but when you knew what she really craved, you could wrap her around your finger in seconds. of course she was still very present of the way you were handling her but she just chose not to do anything about it. “but as your girlfriend, i’d say do what you feel like.” she continued and smiled at the mention of her being my lover. i also smiled at her words.

“i hope kastor won’t kill me for not being present in his class.” i laughed slightly and lesso did the same. my other hand grabbed her other cheek and now i was holding her face in my hands. she raised her head a bit signalling me she wanted to kiss me but not wanting to break the skin contact.

“if he tries, he will have to deal with me. and that won’t be the first time.” she replied laughing even more. i saw little wrinkles forming in the corner of her eyes and i unconsciously smiled at her.

“can you do something for me?” i asked the moment i almost got to kiss her. her eyes filled with love still focused on mine shined once again.

“anything, my darling.” she whispered. i felt her breath on my own lips which sent shivers down my spine.

“will you kiss me under the mistletoe?” i whispered back and she rolled her eyes at me. that pushed me over the edge, actually. i asked her for tiny thing connected with christmas that would bring me a lot of joy and she dared to decline it like that. it was enough even for me.

“can’t i just kiss you here?” she asked feeling impatient. this time i rolled my eyes.

“and can’t you do it under the mistletoe?” i asked once again with more stern tone. she right away sensed my attitude and got out of the grip my hands were holding her face in. she straightened herself up, while pushing me off her a bit. then she adjusted her collar and the pit she had under it. i licked my lips and gently shook my head at her still standing close but not as close to her.

“i’m gonna head out.” i said not wanting to show her i was hurt. she probably knew it by now but i just didn’t care at that moment.

“see you later.” she responded and stand up, going to sit in her chair and starting to grade the papers or something she always does.

“i’m not sure when, but of course.” i replied walking to my desk to grab the books i have previously bring with me. her eyes were following me all the time.

“winter break starts tomorrow so you will have plenty of time.” she said as i was almost at the door. i turned around to face her still sitting in her chair. little part of me hoped she would come up to me while i was leaving and kiss me under this damn mistletoe, but as usual, this part was wrong.

“you’re right, but i am going to spend it with my friends and dovey mostly. cause you know, that’s what this time is really for so i’m not sure when we will meet just the two of us again.” i said and my hand reached the doorknob. “unless we see each other at the ball.” i added and slightly pushed on the silver thing in my hand.

“then we probably won’t see in a long time. we may only meet again in my class.” she said with no emotion filling her sentence.

“i assume that’s correct.” i responded with same emotionless expression. she nodded her head at me. “merry christmas in that case.” i added and turned around to leave the class finally.

“you too.” she replied even colder that before. i shook my head at her but she probably didn’t notice it as my silhouette was now in the hall again. i let out a deep sigh and directed myself to my room. i wanted to leave all the books there and go to somewhere i knew i wouldn’t be judged for the excitement i felt connected with the event that was nearly there. the school on the other side of the bridge, to be precise. and the certain dean.

as i said i stepped by my room and literally threw all the things i have been carrying and just left the space in rush. not wanting to be caught by any of the guards i turned myself into little dragonfly and flew out of one of the windows in the hall. not a minute later i was in the corridor of the school for good. it was empty despite the fact that the lessons was on. i quickly flew to the dean’s office and turned back to myself. deep inside i prayed she wasn’t having one of her lessons now, i still couldn’t remember her schedule. i gently knocked at the door and turned the gold doorknob letting myself in.

coming in i saw the person i was looking for, sitting beside her desk drinking tea while also reading a book i have seen so many times in one of her bookshelves. when she noticed my presence she almost spilled the liquid on her dress. thankfully there was little of it left in the cup so it didn’t dirty her up.

“oh my!” she exclaimed and quickly put down the book she was previously reading.

“it’s nice to see you too, dovey.” i smiled at her, closing the door behind me and coming further in.

“very funny.” she said while looking at me unsurprised. i just shrugged my shoulders at her and she snored at my reaction. the tea cup was now standing on her desk while she took the book into her hands once again and stood up to put it back to it’s place on the bookshelf.

“what are you reading?” i asked sitting down in one of two chairs situated in front of her desk. she turned her head towards me while pushing the book between tons of different ones.

“one of the stories my students gave me many years ago.” she laughed gently and i smiled at her response. “but what are you doing here? don’t you have lessons now?” she asked and walked up to me, sitting in the chair next to me. i loved how dovey usually treated me with respect and not just like a random student that came into her office. i adored the fact she thought about as equal and showed it in any way she could.

“i do.” i said quickly. “but i was good lately so i decided to take the rest of the day off. i just wanted to rest a bit and also talk with you.” i explained and she nodded at me with a gentle smile.

“well then,” she stated and turned even more to me. “what brings you here?” she asked looking a bit concerned. my smile faded away a bit.

“it’s about lesso again.” i said quietly. she shook her head and whispered a quick ‘lesso’ to herself.

“what did she do this time? and what do i need to take care of?” she asked her voice filled with no emotion. i smiled at the way she said it.

“nothing much to be honest.” i said as the yule ball wasn’t a bit deal for me. dovey didn’t believe in a single word. “i just asked her to the ball and she of course said now. i mean, what did i expect? that she would agree? yeah, i was being silly.” dovey listened to me her face showing mixed emotions towards the other dean. “also i talked with her about christmas cause as i was saying the last time we talked, she always seems so drained out and just not interested in anything. so i talked with her about it and she explained to me,” i did the sarcastic gesture at the word explained. “that she just doesn’t feel it anymore, and doesn’t feel the need to celebrate it. and as much as i understand this i can’t understand why she just can’t do something for me which would make me so happy you wouldn’t even understand.” i rambled and didn’t feel when tears started to fill my eyes. dovey immediately took one of my hands in hers and started to slowly massage it. wanting to calm me down.

“oh sweetie,” she stayed and her eyes were full of empathy. but as i looked into them longer i noticed the anger building up in them. “she never celebrated christmas.” she said remembering all the years they have spend together. “but i do agree with you on the fact that she could do something for you and at least try being more involved with all the celebration. at least be that with you.” she said and i nodded at her words. “lesso is a really complicated person. i’m amazed that you endure her.” she laughed and i let out a snort at her words.

“she’s a lot.” i said and dovey smiled at me. “but i can’t help the way i feel about her.” i added and her smile widened even more.

“a heart wants what it wants.” she said and her smile turned into a smirk. i rolled my eyes at her playfully. “who would’ve thought lesso would ever fall in love.” she continued and i blushed slightly at her words. “the person who believed the most that evil couldn’t love.” she shook her head. “and after all that she fell in love with a never. you have to be a real special one.” she added and i smiled at her so widely.

“you’ve always said i am unique.” i said and she laughed once again while stroking my hand.

“indeed i did. and in fact you are.” she replied and let go of my hand. “lesso for sure knows it too.” she added and nodded her head.

“i just wish she would show it more often.” i said sadly while looking down. dovey bit her lip.

“maybe she would if your relationship wasn’t private.” she guessed and i made eye contact with her again. “or maybe that’s just the way she is. you can always talk about it with her, not turning it into argument but just discuss it.” she suggested and i nodded at her once again.

“you’re right. but after today i feel like i need a bit of a break from her.” i said and dovey looked a bit worried. “nothing big though, i still love her, of course, but i just feel like maybe what we need is this christmas break. i planned to spend it with you and my friends so i won’t be seeing with her anyway. i probably will come to her at the end of it but for now maybe that’s what we need.” i said my thoughts out loud and dovey nodded her head with an understanding smile.

“there’s nothing wrong with taking breaks. sometimes they help us realise that we can’t stand too long without the person we love.” she said and winked at me. i shook my head at her but the smile was still present on my face. “i don’t want to be rude, but i have a lesson in like ten minutes? so i need to excuse myself. also you’re welcome to stay here, but after the class i have somethings to take care of connected with the fact that the break starts today. so i won’t be coming back for long, but as i already said you’re more than welcome to wait for me.” she said and started to gather the things she would be needing for her lesson. i quickly stand up and scratched my nose.

“don’t worry, dovey. i, myself have a lot stuff to get done today so i won’t stay here. i hope to see you tomorrow though, at the ball.” i said and she smiled at me with the most heartwarming smile i have seen in my life.

“of course. you promised me a dance after all.” she said and i smiled at her words too. i nodded my head at her and then quickly turned into dragonfly once again. dovey opened her window letting me out. i sit at her shoulder for a second, that was our way of hugging while i was in my animal form, and then i flew out of the window going back straight to my room, already thinking about all the things i needed to do today.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>•<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

dovey kept up a quick pace of walking while crossing the bridge separating two schools. her dress was floating into all sides but she didn’t care at that moment. she was pissed off but tried to keep her face still. which wasn’t working. dovey hoped she wouldn’t walk into y/n as she crossed the line to the big hall. she immediately turned right knowing the plan of the castle better than her own house’s. she quickly stumbled through the corridor filled with doors to students’ rooms and finally reaches the stairs she was looking for. grabbing her dress in her hands she started the journey up the stairs. cursing the headmaster in her head for making those towels so difficult she was taking now two steps at one time. finally, when her eyes spotted another big hall she sighted with ease. stepping up on the last step, her foot were met with cleaned and almost new floor. now she just needed to find the door to the right room. dovey didn’t expect lesso to be in her office after hours while all the students were on their break now. any other day she wouldn’t bother with coming up to the other dean’s room, but today she was certain she will find her there. passing many door she suddenly noticed the one she was looking for. coming up quickly to them she knocked softly and grabbed the silver doorknob attached to them. after a while she heard a soft but tired “come in.” and immediately pushed down. dovey opened the door and was greeted with a sight of lesso sitting on her bed, massaging her right knee. the redhead looked up and got a bit confused seeing the dean of good.

“got lost?” she joked and clarissa shot the door behind her. lesso’s expression became more surprised at the rage dovey was currently in. not feeling the need to stand up she waited until the blonde walk up to be standing right in front of her.

“i’m not in the mood for jokes, lesso.” she hissed and the other dean suddenly got quiet. “i have a lot of things to get done and coming here to talk with you definitely wasn’t on the list.” she added and lesso smirked at her words.

“you don’t make time in your day for me anymore, clarissa.” she shook her head with fake sadness.

“oh, stop it!” she scoffed her and lesso let out a laugh.

“then why are you here? miss me already?” she asked and clarissa give her one of the looks that could actually kill.

“i am not the one missing you.” she said and rolled her eyes. lesso suddenly swallowed. “but the reason behind my visit is, in fact different.” she stated and lesso focused more on her.

“what did my little misery tell you this time?” she asked the amusement still present in her voice. dovey let out another scoff at her words while her hands flew to her hips.

“nothing you should be worried about.” she replied sharply and it took lesso a bit by a surprise. “but seriously, i need your help lesso.”

“i’m all ears.” she said and her eye’s directed to her knee once again. her hands were massaging it trying to resolve the pain. dovey bit her lip seeing the other dean in pain.

“it has to do with the yule ball.” she said quietly but strongly. lesso rolled her eyes but remained silent. “we need another teacher to come despite the fact juba won’t be here for christmas.” she explained and lesso’s knee started to hurt even more.

“and you can’t ask anybody else?” she asked still being focused on her knee. dovey stayed silent.

“you were the first person to come to my mind.” she responded trying to stay proud. lesso smiled at her words but didn’t take that as a win in this situation.

“i’m flattered.” she responded jokingly looking up at the other dean for the first time in a while. “and you assure me it has nothing to do with my unruly never?” she asked raising one of her brows. dovey swallowed quickly but kept her face still.

“of course not.” she responded and her hands relaxed a bit. “whatever goes on with the two of you is none of my business.” she added, both of the women knowing that sentence was a damn lie. lesso’s been massaging her knee but her eyes remained on the other dean’s face.

“of course.” she responded almost mockingly. dovey rolled her eyes at her with annoyance.

“so, will you be coming?” clarissa asked and lesso straightened up in her seat. she also threw her head back thinking hardly about it. dovey looked at her with boredom waiting for the answer.

“i don’t think i have a choice.” she replied finally and a smile uncontrollably formed on dovey’s face. “besides that, i hope she’s gonna be happy when she sees me there.” she added mostly to herself but dovey couldn’t help, but react to that. lesso’s attention was back at her knee and the horrible pain she was experiencing.

“i adore how you put ‘my’ before every title you give her.” clarissa commented and lesso’s eyes immediately glued to her face. “i think she would love it if you showed her that attention.” she added and lesso quickly rolled her eyes.

“it’s hard to do, when no one knows about us.” she said actually being in a mood for a chat. or at least not being against it.

“you need to assure her she’s special, you know?” dovey said taking a seat next to lesso on her bed. “and we both know how damn special she is to you.” she added and the redhead groaned at the other woman’s words.

“indeed she is.” she said again mostly to herself. “i’m not sure how to show her that, i mean,” she started and cleared her throat when she felt this weird feeling making it harder for her to speak. “i don’t know how to express my emotions towards her. they’re so strong i’m scared i could hurt her. and that’s the last thing i want.” she said and dovey quickly nodded at her words. lesso hasn’t looked at her face from the moment she sat down beside her. “i hope she feels how much she means to me.” she continued and dovey bit her cheek from the inside. she also started fingering with her fingers placed on her dress.

“you could try by being more open for what she wants.” she suggested and lesso eyes finally found her face.

“what exactly do you mean?” she asked knowing partly what clarissa meant by that. she also wanted to know how much you were telling her.

“you know,” she started and gestured her hands into the air. “for example, you’re going to be at the yule ball anyway, why don’t you ask her to it?” she explained and lesso laughed at her words. dovey looked a bit confused.

“so she told you that.” she said and dovey shook her head at the redhead’s reaction finding it ridiculous.

“are you surprised?” she asked and lesso stopped laughing. she then started massaging her knee once again. clarissa was wondering if she did that because it hurt her again or she just wanted to distract herself with something.

“to be fair, i’m not.” she said still focusing on her leg. “i overreacted today i could just kiss her under this goddamn mistletoe.” she said the side of her overthinking showing. dovey gently grabbed her shoulder and stroked it.

“i don’t know about the situation with mistletoe, but even if for you something isn’t a big deal, for y/n it can mean a lot.” she said and lesso groaned again. now her hands were covering up her face.

“i know that.” she said and gently pulled away her hands. her eyes were glued to the floor, not enough strength in her to look dovey in the eyes in such a moment. moment of loosing her walls down a bit and letting someone know how she feels. moment of showing her emotions and her worries to someone who could actually help her with that. a moment of weakness, at least according to her.

dovey stayed silent gently stroking lesso’s shoulder for the whole time. the redhead looked up for a second only to be met with another pair of eyes looking at her. clarissa was looking at her with the most understanding sight she has ever seen. and in that moment she didn’t even felt guilty or ashamed for letting her know how she felt. she felt comfortable, understood even and that was something fully new to her. lesso wiped her eyes with fingers, looking away once again.

“to be honest.” she started suddenly and it got all dovey’s attention. “this year when i think about christmas i even feel a bit excited.” she said and clarissa’s eyes widened at her words. lesso laughed quietly. “those last two years were like every other ones but this year, this one in particular is different. it’s special.” she said and dovey guessed what she was gonna say next, and she unconsciously smiled at the words that haven’t even left lesso’s mouth yet. “this year’s christmas feel a little like the ones when i was a kid. all excited and full of joy. i subconsciously wanted to decorate my room same as my office for christmas.” she continued letting out another silent laugh and the dean of good still stroked her shoulder. lesso’s eyes concentrated on the bookshelf attached to the wall in front of her. “it’s because of her.” she stayed and dovey’s smile widened even more. “she makes me feel all joyful and warm.” she continued coming to terms with it herself. “i literally want to do so many things knowing they would make her happy. i definitely don’t show it but she indeed changed my mindset for this year’s christmas.” she said and the tiny smile formed on her face.

“i think you should tell her all of that.” dovey said and lesso’s eyes met hers once again.

“not likely.” she replied and scoffed at the end. “i physically can’t be so affectionate with her.” she said and dovey’s hand found lesso cheek. the redhead instantly looked into the other dean’s eyes.

“you should try doing in on your own way.” dovey said and lesso wanted to interrupt her but she didn’t let her. “or you can start by doing the things you know y/n would love you to do.” she continued and this time lesso hasn’t had anything to add. she looked away once again getting lost in her thoughts. clarissa stroked her cheek slightly taking her hand away a moment later.

“i’m grateful you need someone to help at the ball.” lesso said out of the blue and dovey laughed softly at her words.

“if that’s your way of saying you’re thankful for me coming here and having this conversation with you, then you’re very welcome.” she said being able to read lesso’s intentions every time. lesso hasn’t looked at her or smiled. “i should be going.” clarissa exclaimed and stood up from the bed. the redhead finally look at her only seeing her silhouette walk up to the door.

“sometimes i forget she doesn’t know me for as long as you do.” lesso said which caught dovey’s attention. she smiled warmly at her while also touching the doorknob.

“she’ll learn everything. just as i did.” she said and pushed on the silver metal opening the door. lesso looked at her knee again and groaned in pain. “i think she could help you with the pain though.” clarissa implied leaving the room. “you’ve always forgot about the pain when pleasure was overcoming it.” she added and quickly disappeared behind the door, closing it shut. lesso laughed at the other woman, loving to see her not so mature and immaculate side. a moment later she put some spell on her leg not helping with relieving the pain but at least making her not feel it. the dean then got up and stormed out of her room going straight to the towel’s loft. she needed to find her old christmas decorations to make her room look at least a bit more joyful.

clarissa wasn’t expecting this conversation to take the turn it did but she was definitely not complaining. she was actually glad that lesso shared her feeling with her which made her even more sure of the fact that lesso and her little unruly never were truly meant to be. however the teachers, in fact, didn’t need another person to help with the ball. but dovey figured out that’s something lesso doesn’t need to know of now.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>•<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

the night was almost there and thankfully i’ve done everything i was supposed to do that day. feeling terribly tired i laid down on my bed not wanting to ever get up. i could literally feel the tiredness filling up my body. i groaned and girls from my room laughed at me.

“you’re exhausted.” hester commented looking at me.

“infeed iem” i responded my head deep in pillows. girls laughed once again.

“you need to rest then, tomorrow’s the big night.” dot exclaimed and i rolled my eyes.

“i’m going with agatha so i won’t be bothering you.” said sophie looking herself in the mirror. three of the girls shared a look at her words.

“we’re actually going together.” anadil said and looked at hester. the girl licked her lips.

“so i guess we will be going together too.” dot suggested and i groaned once again. i turned around on my bed so now i was facing the ceiling. slowly sat up and finally could see all the girls i was having conversation with.

“i’m not sure if i will be coming.” i said and dot frowned at my words.

“in that case i will have to stick with sophie and agatha.” she said and sophie just shrugged. dot looked at me with puppy eyes. “please don’t leave me.” she whispered and i uncontrollably laughed at her.

“i can’t promise you anything, dot.” i said and hester laughed alongside with anadil. “also your kiss under the mistletoe was pretty sweet.” i said turning to two of the girls. anadil blushed at my words and hester just rolled her eyes but with a smile.

“i literally thought you and lesso were going to kiss today.” anadil commented and i bit my lip in embarrassment. the girls didn’t know about my relationship with fellow teacher but let’s just say they had their own suspicions.

“what a plot twist would that be.” i said and all five of us laughed at my words. that was something i genuinely adored about those girls. they never asked questions despite the fact how curious they were. i mean sophie and dot did ask questions, a lot of them but they never pressured me to answer. they were evil to the core but they still knew how to be a good friends.

“nah but for real.” dot said once again. “would you really miss a yule ball?” she asked and i started wondering myself. am i gonna miss out on something so huge just because i got into a little fight with my girlfriend? the answer is clear: probably.

“i’m not sure how i’ll be feeling tomorrow.” i lied and the girl just nodded at me. “but i promise i’ll try my hardest to not let you down.” i added and she smiled at my words while eating a chocolate cookie. “and dovey. i promised her a dance after all.” i remembered and the brunette laughed at me almost chocking on her food.

“the dean of good cares so much about some never.” hester said laying down on her bed. “pretty crazy, huh?” she continued and i smiled at her.

“i don’t know what she sees in me.” i laughed and she rolled her eyes playfully. dot and anadil also laughed while sophie just shook her head with playfulness.

all of the girls were getting ready to go to sleep. after like thirty minutes all five of us were laying comfy in our beds getting mentally ready for tomorrow’s night. what an event that will be. i closed my eyes and drifted to sleep almost immediately. despite my tiredness i was just exhausted from all the stress i’ve had from talking to lesso. i hoped tomorrow would be a bit easier.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>•<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

lady lesso woke up earlier than usual. her knee was acting up again and her spells weren’t working anymore. with a groan she sat up on her bed and looked around her room. christmas decorations were put out everywhere and it weirdly made her feel kind of better. she smiled at them thinking about how surprised and excited i would be if i saw them with her right in the middle. she started massaging her knee trying to do anything to resolve the pain. but it wasn’t working. she turned her head and looked out of the window and was greeted with winter sun. she unconsciously smiled and her thought’s subconsciously turned to the yule ball she was going to attend today. she started wondering about the outfit she was going to wear tonight and in how much trouble she would get if she put on something a bit too revealing. she laughed at herself and slowly got up, grabbing her cane and walking up to the wardrobe placed in her room. she started looking through all of her clothes hoping she would find something appropriate without having to ask dovey for giving her one of the outfits from the good school. not that it have previously happened. no, of course not. after a while, the redhead finally found something that satisfied her enough to wear tonight. due the fact she woke up so early she got all day to prepare herself for the nightmare that was waiting on her. she rolled her eyes at the thought of the ball being even worse than she’s imagining and came back to bed wanting to at least rest more if she wasn’t getting any more sleep. lesso’s thoughts came back to me once again and she smiled while laying down under the warm blanket. she was preparing herself for the night and all the things i could say to her that she hadn’t even noticed when she fall asleep once again. the pain coming from her knee somehow didn’t stop her from drifting to sleep.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>•<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

the night has finally arrived. everyone was more exited than usual which was understandable. even the teachers felt a christmas spirit. this year, yule ball was organised in the school for evil despite the fact it was in the good side last year. all evers needed to cross over the bridge but speaking from their point of view it made the ball even more fun and magical. more people started to come into the big hall situated at the second floor of the castle. almost all teachers were already present beside lady lesso and one of the good teachers. dovey stood awkwardly at the table with food waiting for the other dean to show up. or at least for the never she promised a dance. she was alone and it was definitely driving her crazy. of course, she knew all the other teachers that were at the ball but they just weren’t as close with her and she didn’t feel comfortable enough to just walk up to them and start the small talk she hated with passion. clarissa rolled her eyes and put another olive in her mouth. one thing that caught her attention when she was waiting on anybody to come and literally save her, was the way people were coming in. the stairs were build in a way that it looked like they were coming out of the floor. and it literally amazed her. she smiled to herself seeing more evers and nevers enter the hall and her nerves calmed a bit. but suddenly she felt a cold hand on her exposed shoulder and she almost jumped out of her skin. she turned around immediately and her eyes met the person who just nearly gave her a heart attack.

“i see i still got the effect on you, don’t i?” lesso asked taking her hand away when the other dean turned to her completely. dovey scoffed at her still calming down her breathing.

“i almost died on the spot.” she exclaimed and put one of her hands on her chest. lesso laughed at her words.

“it wasn’t my intention. this time.” she said with a wink. clarissa playfully hit her arm.

“i’m glad you showed up.” she said and smiled warmly at the other dean. leonora looked away from her face but also smiled.

“you need my help after all.” she said with a proud tone. dovey wanted to roll her eyes but she decided not to.

“of course.” she responded and both women laughed gently. lesso took a look around the hall noticing little details connected with christmas and the ball. she smiled to herself and her eyes came back to the other dean’s face again.

“has she show up yet?” she asked and dovey shook her head.

“not yet.” clarissa exclaimed and looked away from lesso’s eyes. “the ball just started, give her a bit more time.” she suggested with a nod. lesso’s sight just focused on the hall once more.

“of course.” she whispered to herself. “you look ravishing.” she said looking dovey up and down for a moment, noticing the light green dress was a bit different from the ones she was wearing every day. her shoulders and collarbones were exposed and the top was cut low also exposing a lot of her cleavage. the dress was wide at the bottom but it was decreasing more further up. she had little sleeves attached to the top of the material on her chest. dovey looked literally angelic in the moment. the blonde smiled at her words and a little blush crawled up on her face.

“thank you kindly.” she replied and took a look at lesso’s outfit. “you look marvellous yourself.” she added admiring the overalls lesso was wearing. whole material was wine red with black lace under it. due to the sleeveless outfit the lace was covering all her arms and a bit of her cleavage. lesso looked like a king taken out from his fairy tail. and it suited her so well.

“indeed i do.” she smirked and dovey rolled her eyes. both women looked at the students filling up the room, waiting to see their special never. but she was nowhere to be seen by far.

minutes went by and she still hasn’t arrived. lesso was now pushing her cane into the floor harder with every passing second. dovey finally took a notice of that and put her hands on top of the other dean.

“stop that.” she said and squeezed their hands together. lesso looked into her eyes and raised a brow.

“we barely use this floor, no one will notice.” she said and dig her cane even harder. dovey scoffed and took her hands away. lesso laughed softly at the annoyed dean of good. both women noticed hester coming in while holding anadil’s hand and other three girls, two nevers and one ever coming in right after them. clarissa started to wonder for a second if no one invited agatha or she was just meeting then at the ball. her mind quickly went back to the redhead stood next to her and her girlfriend that still definitely wasn’t present.

“why hasn’t she arrived yet?” dovey exclaimed and lesso attention was still directed to her face. clarissa took another chocolate candy and put it in her mouth. lesso laughed once again remembering her habit of eating a lot more than usual when she was nervous.

“i have no idea.” she replied and finally stopped touring the floor. “maybe i should check up on her.” she suggested getting a bit lost in her thoughts. dovey turned to her again and smiled.

“i think that’s a great idea. you can ask her out by the way.” she said and another chocolate chip found it’s place in her mouth. lesso tried to keep her face still.

“i will be back as soon as possible.” she said and grabbed her cane in the other way, so she could be using it while walking. “and i’m not sure how the part about asking her out is gonna go.” she added and dismissed herself from the table they were standing by all this time. clarissa shook her head to the sides and immediately turned to the table looking for another chocolate delight.

lady lesso stormed out of the ball hall and immediately took turn into the direction of my room. going down the stairs she found herself at the right floor and went to the door she knew so well by now. searching for the ones in particular she missed four others and finally found the ones she was looking for. lesso gently knocked at the door and didn’t hear any reply. starting to get a bit worried she pushed down on the silver doorknob and invited herself in. she closed the door behind her in no time. the redhead finally took a look at the room she was now in and her eyes almost immediately found me laying on my bed in total comfy mood. she frowned her brows together looking at me with a confused expression. i finally took a notice of her and almost fell off the bed.

“you scared the living shit out of me.” i said looking at her like she was insane. she tried to hide the smile on her lips but was totally unsuccessful.

“i didn’t mean to, my love.” she said and stayed still in her place. “why aren’t you getting ready? or why aren’t you ready by now?” she asked and my confusion got confused.

“what do you mean?” i asked and she looked at me like i was the dumb one here.

“the ball. the yule ball.” she said slowly not understanding what i was on. i cracked a brow at her.

“what about it?” i asked getting up from my bed and slowly approaching her.

“why aren’t you ready to attend it?” she asked following me with her eyes all the time. i walked up to her and was now standing in front of her.

“i decided not to go.” i said the sadness filling my tone despite my trying to hide it. she clicked her tongue at my response and i was vividly confused once again.

“lies.” she commented and one of her hands found my left cheek. she grabbed my face making me look up a bit. “get ready, i don’t have all night.” she added and i blinked quickly at her.

“what?” i asked and she let go of my face as fast as she touched it. lesso fixed her posture and leaned on her cane, guiding all her weight on it. her other hand situated on her hip.

“get ready.” she said with a stern tone. “you have a ball to attend to.” she added and a little smile appeared on her lips. i couldn’t help the one that was forming on mines.

“how did you know i was in my room?” i asked and turned around, quickly walking to my wardrobe searching for the outfit i picked like a week ago. her eyes roamed all around my room avoiding only me.

“i saw your friends and you were nowhere to be found, so i assumed that you must be still in your room.” she explained and i literally stopped in place with the dress in my hands.

“you saw my friends? at the ball?” i asked confused and quickly looked at her. she just nodded her head still not bothering to look at me. she seemed to be actually interested in the way our room looked. “you were at the ball?”

“indeed.” she replied and finally took a glance at me. “dovey asked me yesterday for backup so i couldn’t disagree. it was too late to involve someone else.” she explained and i bit my bottom lip, stopping the huge smile that wanted to form on my face.

“that explains everything.” i said to myself but lesso hummed at my observation. i grabbeb all the things i would be needing to get ready and stood before her. she looked at me with her typical grin. at this moment it made me smile even more.

“you can change here. it’ll be quicker.” she said and i slightly blushed at the idea of changing in front of her. of course, she has seen me naked by now but literally changing was somehow more intimate to me. i looked away from her still staying in my place. lesso noticed my uncertainty and a soft expression appeared on her face. “if you feel comfortable enough with that.” she added and her hand went through my hair. stroking it gently. “but i can move if you prefer to go to the bathroom.” lesso continued and took away her hand, my head subconsciously moving after it. she hummed happily at me reaction to her touch but waited at my answer.

“i will need someone to zip me up anyway.” i said and walked away to my bed. she smiled smugly at my words. i put all the things on my duvet and grabbed the bottom of the shirt i was currently wearing. i glanced at lesso and noticed she was now standing with her back facing me, wanting to give me privacy. i smiled warmly at the act and in no seconds i was in my desired outfit . it was a black, half-sleeved dress, with red lace on the front and cleavage that was exposed a bit more than usual. the lace was ending half the way down so it looked like it was just disappearing in the sea of folds from the material. at the bottom little red and silver diamonds were attached making it seem like i stepped in the puddle of glitter a moment ago. i adored the way this dress looked in the room the day dovey first showed it to me and i hoped it would look at least half that good on me. to be fair i hoped it would look better on me than it did handling on the hanger. i glanced at lesso again and she was still facing the door, being very interested in the way they were made. i found her amazingly heartwarming and decided to make myself fully ready before she would zip me up. i took my toiletry bag and walk up to sophie’s huge mirror attached to the wall. after a few swing moves my face was ready to go. i grabbed my hairbrush and did everything in my way to make my hair look as perfect as it was possible. finally, after that i was ready to be zipped up.

i walked up to lesso, placing my hands slowly at her hips. she didn’t jerk away but i sensed a little tense in her body when she felt my touch. she slowly turned away and was met with my almost ready look. her eyes roamed me up and down and she couldn’t help the smirk approaching her lips. she licked them and bit down for a moment on her bottom lip. my hands on her hips kept us in a very close position but she still managed to get a look at my outfit. i raised my head making eye contact with her. her eyes were full of love and incoming lust. i smiled at her and shook my head a little to the sides. her hands found my face again and stopped me from moving.

“i should not allow you to go out while looking that breathtaking.” she whispered despite no one was in the room besides us. i licked my lips and smiled even more.

“you don’t have to worry about it. it’s all for you.” i responded and moved my hips slightly. it caught her attention attention and her eyes left mine for only a second. “can you zip me up?” i asked and her smirk grew even wider.

“of course, my darling.” lesso replied and her hands slowly left my face. i also took away mine from her hips and turned around so she could see the zipper. with a swift pull my dress coaxed around my curves tighter, highlighting them even more. i turned around again, facing the love of mine. lesso’s eyes were focused on my body until one of my hands touched her cheek. they immediately flew straight to mine making intense eye contact.

“you’re making me want to stay here even more.” i whispered and she laughed warmly at my words. her eyes closed for a second before she came back to earth again. lesso licked her lips and smiled at me with pure love filling her up.

“we can’t let down dovey.” she said and it surprised me she wouldn’t use an occasion like that to get away from going to the ball. “besides,” she started and my attention was brought to her once again. “i want everyone to see how beautiful my girl looks tonight.” she said and i felt her hands wrapping around my waist.

“i think dovey will actually murder you if we don’t show up in a moment.” i commented and the woman laughed again. i could listen to the sound of her laughter for the rest of my life. lesso’s hands squeezed my body a bit making themselves even more present.

“you can be right.” she replied and her laugh slowly died with it. silence corrupted us for a moment as we were just staring into each other’s eyes. she was the first one to blink and lick her lips again.

her hand pulled me closer to her to the point our bodies were almost touching each other. i could smell her perfume and i literally felt i have fallen in love with her even more. she looked down at me with eyes filled with love and adoration towards me. unfortunately i knew her to well to not notice the glimpse of lust shining in them. i smiled at her while my hand started to slowly stroke her cheek. she gently bit down on her lower lip, definitely thinking about something. i wanted to ask what was going on in her mind but her voice has overtaken me.

“will you go to the ball with me, officially?” she asked out of the blue and i immediately blinked at her words. after a few seconds when it finally hit me what she had just said my smile grew even wider and i wrapped my hands around her neck.

“of course i will.” i replied and she smiled seeing how happy her question made me. she touched my nose with hers and in no time i felt her lips on mine. it wasn’t even a kiss, just a quick peck because she pulled back almost immediately.

“maybe no one knows about the fact we are going together but i think it satisfies you enough.” she said and i nodded at her words still not believing in this happening. “let’s go now, dovey will kill us both.” she said and i laughed. my hands slipped off her neck and so did hers from my waist. lesso opened the door for me and passed me through them. she exited the room almost immediately after me and closed the door with a loud thug. she rolled her eyes hating the sound it made and i just giggled at her. she shook her head and i felt her hand wrapped around my waist once again. she guided me with it towards the stairs and the whole entrance prepared on the floor above us.

after so many stairs we finally reached our destination. the yule ball. the room was full of people by now and a few students were dancing on the floor, but most of them were just standing somewhere not being sure what to do with themselves. lesso has taken off her hand from my waist not wanting to cause a scene. she may not care what others say about her but she was still scared about how the situation would turn out when everybody got to know we were dating. but she did something that surprised me. she held out her arm for me to hold it. i immediately wrapped my arm around hers and just like that we crossed the huge door. many eyes were directed at us not because we were walking together or i don’t think so at least, but just because someone was entering the room and it always drowned people’s attention. lesso was keeping up a fast pace and i tried to match her. finally we walked up to the table where dovey was standing all the time and we finally stopped. clarissa smiled at me so widely when she saw me.

“you made it.” she greeted me, turning around from the table to face us. i smiled back at her.

“i wouldn’t miss that for anything.” i replied and lesso laughed softly. looked around the hall noticing all the decorations and some of the known faces.

“doubtful.” leonora whispered which caught my attention again. i punched her slightly with my free hand.

“will you let her go for some time or i can’t count on dancing with her tonight?” clarissa asked looking at lesso. she had a smug grin placed on her face from the time we entered the ball. i looked up at her and noticed how lesso raised her head a bit and smiled wider while looking at the other dean.

“i think i can make an exception just for you.” she said and dovey shook her head with a smile. i licked my lips and looked at dovey this time.

“don’t worry, i’ll run away from her if she won’t let me have fun.” i whispered to clarissa leaning over to her a bit. lesso shook her head slightly trying to calm the smile that was present on her lips.

“we will see about that.” she suddenly whispered to my ear lowering her head a bit. i felt a shiver come down my spine when i heard her voice and felt her breath so close to my skin. dovey was looking at us with an expression i can’t totally explain. she rolled her eyes after a while and chose another chocolate chip cookie to eat. i smiled remembering how much she loved everything containing chocolate or sugar in general.

all three of us talked for a long time until i asked lesso a final question: “will you let me have fun?” i asked looking up at lesso once again. she directed her eyes at me and her arm gently let me go. the smile on her face faded a bit but a grin was still present. i smiled at her and turned to dovey immediately taking her hand in mine.

not even waiting for her to finish eating another candy, i dragged her to the middle of the dance floor and literally just started spin around with her. one of her hands covered her mouth until she finally swallowed the sweet substance and grabbed my other hand, making our ‘circles’ look a bit more like circles. some kind of music was playing in the background but i literally didn’t care about it, the important thing to me was that i finally made it to the ball and got to spend my time with person i waited to do it for so long. and even with someone i never would’ve thought i would see them here.

after good fifteen minutes of senseless spinning both me and dovey came back to lesso needing to rest a bit. my head was spinning so hard i literally thought i was gonna throw up. thankfully lesso grabbed me with her arms and it helped me calm down a bit. dovey got herself a cup of clear water not being able to look at all the candies right now. i laughed observing this whole situation. clarissa stood in front of me and lesso once again looking at all the students having fun at the dance floor. to be honest, we started this whole party. after we started to ‘dance’ more people were coming to the middle so we can easily take that as officially starting this party. i wrapped my arm around one of lesso’s and she smiled feeling my touch. dovey was looking at us with hearts in her eyes and i rolled my eyes at her.

“don’t say you don’t find it adorable.” she said and i softly laughed. lesso on the other hand licked her lips and didn’t concentrate on our conversation at all.

“i do.” i said through my laughter. “i find it extremely heartwarming, to be precise.” i added and clarissa smiled even wider at my words.

“i’m glad you showed up today.” she said and i nodded slowly at her words. dovey took another sip from her cup.

“i’m glad she came back for me.” i said looking up at lesso but she still wasn’t paying attention to me or clarissa. said girl shook her head at the redhead but didn’t say anything about her.

“good thing we needed her, right?” the blonde joked and my smile immediately grew more when i realised they didn’t need lesso as much as she thought or as much as she told me.

“couldn’t imagine this whole ball without her.” i responded and squeezed lesso’s arm a bit. this brought her back to us and her eyes immediately flew to dovey’s face.

“right.” she said suddenly, narrowing her eyes, obviously thinking something through. i turned my head to her hearing her join our conversation. “would you excuse us?” she asked clarissa and she just nodded turning around from us to observe all the students.

lesso grabbed my hand that was wrapped around her arm and started slowly guiding me somewhere. without hesitation i let her guide. she was walking slowly, passing a lot people who we knew. i just hoped none of my friends would notice us. i saw hester and anadil dancing together being caught up in having fun. i smiled to myself. sophie dot and agatha were nowhere to be found which worried me slightly. as we were approaching the glass door leading to the balcony i turned my head to take another look at the hall, from different angle this time. it was so beautiful i couldn’t get enough of looking. lesso smiled to herself seeing my delight. when we reached the door she she gently pushed on them, making room for us to walk. opening them widely, lesso crossed the entrance and i did the same. she closed the door behind us, giving us a bit of privacy. funny thing was that people would actually have a hard time seeing us, the glass was frosted so it explained everything. they also couldn’t hear us due to the music playing inside so we had a lot of privacy actually. lesso guided me to the railing and finally stopped in place. i looked her in the eyes and saw them being filled with love once again. i uncontrollably smiled.

“i hope you’re having fun.” she said and her right hand found my cheek. i cuddled into her skin.

“so much.” i replied and her grin grew wider after hearing my words. “i’m so glad you invited me to the ball.” i added and she shook her head slightly.

“and i’m glad you didn’t reject me.” she said playing along my game. i bit down on my lip stopping my smile from widening.

“reject the dean of evil? never.” i said fake overtaken in my voice. she rolled her eyes playfully.

“i love how peaceful it is here.” she said taking a look around at the surroundings. i did the same for as much as her grip allowed me to.

“i do too.” i said quietly and her eyes were at my face again. her fingers started to slowly stroke my sling and it gave me even more comfort.

“i believe you know how much i care about you. and about your happiness.” she said looking at my lips and obviously avoiding my eyes.

“of course i do.” i replied and she looked away for a split second. my head slightly turned to the side not knowing how to interpret her quick reaction. “no matter what you do or do not, it doesn’t change the way i feel about you.” i said and she caught my eyes for a moment. she stated into them blankly i guess searching for an answer.

“but i should be doing more.” she whispered looking at my lips once again, breaking our eye contact. she dipped her teeth into her bottom lip not hard enough to draw blood but enough to bruise it a bit. i licked my own lips seeing her movement.

“what you do is enough.” i said assuring her. she scoffed at my words and shook her head while her eyes were suddenly closed. her hand still present on my cheek slightly tightened it’s grip.

“definitely not.” she said a laugh interrupting her words. not a real one, the sarcastic one. i bit my cheek from the inside not knowing how to make her feel better, how to make her feel enough.

“lesso.” i said harshly and her eyes almost immediately found my face. the laughter dead long ago. my hands found her free one and took it, squeezing it hard. her eyes were looking at me with a soft and almost hurt expression. “you are enough. whatever you do i enough. i couldn’t ask for a better person in my life.” i continued feeling my eyes getting wet. she swallowed and looked away.

“i just wished i could do more for you. do the things you want me to do more often. and stop being so selfish all the time when it comes to you.” she said and her words surprised me to my core. i haven’t ever thought she was worrying and underestimating herself so much. my hands immediately wrapped around her waist and just pulled me into her, giving her a tight hug she definitely needed. at the start of our relationship lesso wouldn’t hug me back, but as further we got she learned to hold me too. sometimes even squeezing me. don’t get me wrong she could be a tender person sometimes, but hugs never were her thing. but she got used even to them.

“don’t ever underestimate yourself like that ever again.” i said to the material on her chest. her hands wrapped around my neck, holding me in place. i knew she loved this kind of closeness. and her touch just made me sure of it. “please, lesso. you’re doing your best and that’s what matters the most. i see a lot of change in your behaviour same as in the way you react to so many ridiculous things i often offer you and it warms my heart unbelievably.” i continued and literally felt how her heartbeat fastened. “there’s nothing i could ask more of from you. you’re doing just fine. just the way you should.” i continued and her hands started to stroke my hair. “you are enough.” i added and she pulled my hair a bit. it took me by a surprise so i let out a confused sigh. this move made me pull away from her a bit and take a look at her face. lesso was biting on her lip looking at me even more lovingly, if that was possible.

“i love you.” she said and her hands found my face again. i smiled at her words and raised my head subconsciously. “you are the best part of my miserable life.” she added and laughed at the end. i rolled my eyes playfully. she pulled my face even higher and lowered her head. our noses were touching and she was just so close to my lips. “if i could, i would give you the whole world.” she whispered and without giving me a chance to response, she crashed her lips into mine.

i immediately kissed her back, being touch starved for the past two days. after our fight in her class and not getting the kiss then i couldn’t think about anything else. her lips worked in sync with mine and i sighed into our kiss. lesso smiled but didn’t break the kiss. to my surprise it didn’t tuned into being more heated. of course, not even a moment later i felt her tongue on my lower lip, asking for entrance, which i almost immediately gave her, but despite that our kiss was just full of love but not in the sexual way. in the most comforting and gentle way i have ever experienced. lesso’s hands started to stroke my cheeks and it was my turn to smile into the kiss. she felt the movement of my lips and smiled herself, taking out her tongue from my mouth. her lips gave mine the last peck and she slowly pulled away from me, connecting our noses again. my lips wanted to follow her but i stopped myself. she smiled at me looking how i slowly opened my eyes to meet hers.

“i love you too.” i replied to her previous confession. lesso licked her lips and a grin crawled on them once again.

“you better do.” she laughed gently and i did the same. my hands still wrapped around her waist squeezed her a bit giving her a pleasant sensation.

“i wish i could show you my love anytime i want.” i said and her eyes saddened a bit. i blinked still looking up at her.

“i know.” she said and her hands moved from my cheeks to my waist, she also pulled away more. “i guess you will be able to do it one day.” she added and shrugged her shoulders. oh, that was new.

“but for now,” i said not wanting to keep up the sad atmosphere. i pulled her closer once again and rested my head on her shoulder being close to her ear. “i appreciate the fact you took me here tonight. and by here i as much mean the yule ball as this balcony.” she smirked at my words and gently shook her head.

“my darling.” she whispered straight to my ear and it gave me goosebumps all over again. “there are so many things left you will be grateful for tonight.” she added and i bit my lip. her hands around my waist pulled me away from her so she could take a look at my face. i was looking into her eyes and i literally felt like the whole world just stopped. “we should go back now, i’m afraid dovey will look for us soon.” she said and i smiled at her words nodding my head.

lesso didn’t let go of my waist and guided me back to the inside. i immediately saw dovey looking into our direction with an unsurprised but disappointed look on her face. i smiled to myself and rolled my eyes. lesso closed the door behind us once again and guided me to the table we were previously standing next to. the same path as she brought me to the balcony. i looked around again and noticed dot looking at me, we made eye contact for a moment and i almost immediately looked away. i started to wonder if she saw the whole scene but thankfully dovey broke me out of my thoughts with her voice.

“took you a minute.” she said bored and lesso just scoffed at her. i shrugged with one of the biggest smiles she has ever seen on my face.

“it’s a duty to take the best care of my never.” lesso commented and clarissa shook her head at her but a smile crawled into her lips.

“i guess you’re right.” she said and smiled warmly at us both. lesso fixed her posture a bit still not taking away the arm that was wrapped around my waist. i started to worry a bit about other people noticing anything but she simply stopped my wonders.

“i want to dance with you.” she whispered to my ear coming closer to it. i immediately turned to her and looked at her dumbly.

“don’t you think someone will suspect anything?” i asked and she just rolled her eyes. the grip on my waist tightened giving me a feeling of comfort. i straightened myself immediately.

“you danced with me, so it’s not like you especially chose lesso to dance with.” dovey interjected to our conversation and my eyes found hers. lesso grinned at her finding her words actually useful.

“we don’t have to, if you don’t want to.” she whispered to me once again with that smirk on her face. i narrowed my eyes and a grin crawled to my face.

“such a tease.” i responded and she laughed at my words shrugging her shoulders. dovey let out a deep sigh hearing our full conversation.

“just dance before something actually questionable happens between you two.” she said and turned around to the table looking for some candy again. i smiled at her words and looked at lesso who was already looking at me. she swiftly took away her hand from my waist and took a step back from me. i looked at her confused.

“will you dance with me?” she asked and held out her hand, the one that was on my waist seconds ago, for me to grab it. i smiled uncontrollably and immediately took her hand into mine.

“of course i will, my lady.” i said and she raised her eyebrow at me with a grin on her lips. lesso then took my other hand into hers and slowly dragged me to the dance floor, passing a lot of students or just known faces in the way. i felt like everyone was staring at us but maybe it was just a feeling.

lesso stopped at the middle and her hands slowly found my waist, my on the other end, moved to her neck and wrapped themselves around it tightly. leonora smiled at me, feeling my touch. some kind of slow music was playing in the background as we started to dance together while other students and even teachers were surrounding us. even though m many of them were probably looking at us in that moment i felt like the whole world stopped once again. there was only me and her in. i couldn’t believe i was actually dancing with lesso at the yule ball. my smile widened more as my conscious realised the fact she did all of this for me. to make me happy. my hands started to slowly stroke her skin and i felt how she gently relaxed into my touch. her hands hold me tightly and brought me a bit closer to her. my eyes were situated on her face trying my hardest not to pay attention to the people around us. lesso looked at my lips for a second and then her eyes came back to mine. i bit my lower lip looking at her with love.

“thank you.” i said still holding eye contact with her. she moved her head to a side a bit, confusion starting to appear on her face. i smiled more seeing her reaction. “for coming with me here today. i know how uncomfortable it makes you feel. but i just wanted to let you know i appreciate your gesture a lot.” i explained and another lovely smile crawled up to her face. she shook her head for as much as my hands allowed her.

“there’s nothing to thank me for, darling.” she said and i rolled my eyes at her. she let out a laugh and i literally adored this sound. “actually,” she started and caught my attention again. “i wanted to thank you too.” she said and this time it was my turn to get confused. lesso licked her lips taking a deep breath. “christmas this year feel a lot better and more joyful than the past years. i owe it to you.” she said and i felt my eyes water up. lesso scoffed seeing my reaction and one of her hands quickly went up to my face, to stroke my cheek and the eventual tears. my smile became the biggest it has been the whole night.

“i love you.” i said totally forgetting where we was. lesso laughed once again seeing my sudden reaction when i realised what i had just said. her hand on my cheek never stopped stroking my skin but the one on my waist pulled me even closer to her, so now our bodies were touching. she looked down at me and smiled warmly again.

“i love you too, my darling.” she responded the whole time looking into my eyes. her hand moved from my cheek to my chin, gripping it gently. she raised my head a bit, making the space between hers and my lips smaller. i was almost hypnotised by her eyes and lesso laughed licking her lips, noticing my state.

suddenly her eyes looked away from me and flew to the side. she noticed something there and then immediately her head turned. i wanted to look up too but her grip on my face wouldn’t let me. so my eyes just looked to the side, the place she was previously looking at but didn’t notice anything. i frowned my eyebrows and my eyes went back to the redhead before me, seeing her neck stretched out, still looking up. lesso suddenly moved her head and was looking down at me once again. i blinked at her not understanding the whole situation. she was looking more stressed out right now and i almost started to worry, but she interrupted me.

“you’re mine.” she commented gently and i was a bit taken aback by her sudden possessiveness. she licked her lips looking at me. her eyes were still filled up with adoration so i figured out there was nothing for me to worry about. i smiled at her feeling like she was looking into my soul with this piercing but loving look.

“only yours.” i replied with a smile on my face. she let out a chuckle at my words and lowered her head a bit. and with one swift move she connected her lips with mine.

i was speechless.

i kissed her back out of habit and felt how her lips curled into a smile which naturally became a smirk. her hand on my chin hold me in position for as long as she was feeling like kissing me. my hands around her neck grabbed her tighter and lesso let out a sigh, hopefully only for me to hear. her tongue slowly moved on my lower lip but i didn’t open my mouth for her. i was in too much shock for that kind of kissing. finally she pulled away, breaking our kiss. i was looking at her in pure shock while she was smirking like crazy. her hand slowly left my chin and wrapped itself around my waist along with her other one. lesso’s eyes looked to the side once more and this time mine did the same. the redhead found the dean of good and locked eyes with her. dovey was just as shocked as i was. the chocolate candy fell out from her hand and fell on the floor. i noticed her and she also made eye contact with me. she started slowly shaking her head and i shrugged my shoulders still not believing what just happened. lesso’s hands gripped my waist and i immediately looked at her. she was looking so proudly and i couldn’t believe it. i looked her in being actually terrified what could happen next.

“i hope this makes up for the unfulfilled kiss in my office, yesterday.” she said and looked up. my eyes flew straight to the ceiling, where hers were and then i noticed it. the mistletoe. right above our heads. i looked back at her and just couldn’t control the smile that came up to my lips.

“you’re unbelievable.” i said scoffing and she just laughed. i looked around noticing almost everyone staring at us in pure shock. i noticed my friends looking amazed but not surprised. i uncontrollably smiled at them and hester shook her head at me. i looked at dovey once again and she was smiling this time. her hands were shaking like crazy, but she tried her hardest to look composed. i smiled at her and she raised her eyebrows still needing time to process this moment. i finally looked at lesso and she was grinning at me, still being so proud of her action. i wanted to say something but the voice from some part of the room, interrupted me.

“i told you! you owe me 20 bucks hester!” i recognised dot’s voice and laughed. lesso shook her head at me and my friends but the smile was still present and wide on her lips.

#reqs open #request open #leonora lesso x reader #lady leonora lesso #leonora lesso #ladyleonora #lady lesso x reader #lady lesso #long fic #lady lesso fic #lady lesso request #lady leonora lesso x reader #lady lesso imagine #lady lesso fluff #lady lesso fanfic #charlize theron x reader #charlize theron #charlizeafrica #just lady lesso😩

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sparklypinkflightsuit · 4 months

Text

Predator and Prey: Chapter Two

Pairing: Tommy Cahill x Reader

Warnings: 18+ ONLY, Minors do not interact, Slow Burn, War Inaccuracies, Swearing, Mention of PTSD but barely, Stalking, Abuse, Sexual Themes, Alcohol, I think that’s it?

Summary: You and Tommy get to know one another, but something is still making you feel scared at night.

-Chapter One Here-

—————————————

You got ready and said goodbye to Jet after leaving his breakfast out, and made your way to work. The walk was less tense than the day before, but you still couldn’t shake the feeling that there were eyes on you at times, and cursed yourself for reading too many Stephen King novels while alone at night.

You unlocked the store and made your coffee before getting set up for the day, and must have forgot to relock the door behind you while waiting for the opening time, as you heard the jingling of the bell. You froze in the kitchen and listened carefully for any other sounds, before slowly walking around to the front of the store. It was still dark outside so the only light came from the little lamps you had scattered around the seating areas and at your counter, and the few street lamps outside, which did little to illuminate any dark corners.

“Hello?” You said quietly, too scared to actually have someone reply.

You walked around the counter and poked your head around a book shelf on the right of the store, it was dark enough but you could still tell that there was nothing there once your eyes adjusted. You stepped back carefully and turned to check the left of the store, when you dropped your coffee and yelled “Jesus! Shit, you scared the hell out of me!”.

“I am so sorry! I didn’t mean to scare you- here let me help you clean that up! I just wanted to come back and pay you, I was passing through and saw you in here. I googled the book and found a price and… shit I’m sorry I didn’t think!” Tommy said, as he crouched down to pick up your broken mug and make sure you hadn’t burnt yourself.

“It’s ok..” you breathed out a laugh, and wiped the few droplets of coffee that had splashed your arms and legs. You walked around back to the kitchen to grab paper towels before coming back to clean up.

“Here, let me.” Tommy said taking the paper towels and mopping up the mess.

“Thanks, but like I said, the book is free. You really don’t need to pay! I can’t even log it in the system anyway.” You said, taking the wet towels and broken bits of mug from him and placing it in the little bin by the counter.

Tommy straightened up, wiping his hands together and letting out a deep breath.

“You want to go back and wash the coffee off your hands?” You offered.

Tommy nodded and walked to the kitchen to wash his hands off, when you noticed a bit of blood under his thumb.

“Oh, you’ve cut yourself, wait there and I’ll get the first aid kit!” You instructed, running around to the counter to grab the little box. When you returned, Tommy had washed and dried his hands using some paper towels but held his thumb over the sink as it bled.

“Ouch, that looks kinda deep, you might want to get that looked at… here-“ you said as you took his hand and inspected it for any bits of ceramic shards, before you began to patch him up.

Tommy was quiet while he watched you, his blue eyes burning intensely into the side of your face. You suddenly felt insecure and looked up.

“What?” You laughed, looking at him as you finished your handiwork.

Tommy smiled, “Nothing, you’re just good at that. I get a bit freaked out by blood.” He admitted, and that’s when you noticed his hands shaking.

“Oh, sit down, I’ll get you a coffee with sugar, that will help.” You pushed him gently towards the front and pointed to the seating by the window. Tommy smiled and sauntered off to one of the couches, exhaling deeply as he did so.

You made two coffees and brought both over to where Tommy sat, and ran to the door to flip the sign to “Open” before joining Tommy until your first customers came in.

“Thanks.” He said, the same awkward look on his face as when you met him the day before. “Sorry, I bet this is not what you needed first thing in the morning.” He chuckled.

“Actually, it’s the most interesting morning I’ve had in nearly 3 years.” You laughed, cupping your mug of hot coffee to warm your hands.

“Oh yeah? Is that when you moved here?” Tommy questioned, blue eyes staring into yours.

You found it hard to look away but even harder to maintain eye contact, so eventually looked back down to your mug when you spoke.

“Yeah, I moved from New York, decided I needed something a bit quieter, you know?”

Tommy nodded, eyeing the store and all its cute quirks. “It’s really peaceful in here, before I went into…. Before I left, this used to be a restaurant. Looks so different now.”

You smiled and nodded, “Yeah I did most of the work myself, kept me busy for a while. Are you back permanently?” You asked, hoping he would say yes.

“Yeah, I think so. This town hasn’t always been kind to me but it’s home. What about you?”

You shrugged, “Yeah, I think it will do at least for now.” You joked.

There was a beat of silence between you two when Tommy shifted in his seat.

“So… if you’re adamant about not taking the money for the book, could I at least buy you coffee sometime? Real coffee, I mean.” He chuckled, lifting his coffee mug.

You thought for a second, as you weren’t sure if you could handle another man in your life after the hell Jason put you through. But not all men were Jason, and it had been 3 years since you’d gone on a date or been in the presence of men that weren’t customers.

“Sure, I’d like that. Just let me know where and when.” You smiled.

The rest of the day passed quickly and before you knew it you were closing up shop and prepping for the soup kitchen to open. You laid out all of the pots, pans and utensils and then let all of the volunteers in to begin. You began prepping vegetables when you heard someone clear their throat behind you.

You turned to see Tommy in an apron, with a sheepish grin on his face.

“I didn’t realise the soup kitchen was here.” He laughed.

You smiled at him in his oversized white apron and hairnet, laughing at how silly he looked. “Yeah, what are you doing here? You volunteering?”

You turned back around to start peeling carrots and Tommy joined you and began chopping them at your side, gloves securely protecting his bandages from earlier.

“Community Service.” He admitted in a low voice.

You stopped peeling and looked up at him with a quirk of an eyebrow. “Oh?” You said.

“Yeah, I probably should have mentioned this but it’s kind of hard to bring up naturally in a conversation.” He sighed, and took a deep breath before continuing. “I kind of got out of prison a few months back, it was stupid really, I just got into a little trouble, but now I’m doing community service until I carry out my parole and it honestly wasn’t even for anything too bad it’s just-“

You cut him off by placing a hand on his arm, you smiled up at him reassuringly.

“It’s ok, you don’t need to explain yourself to me. We all have a past.” You said and went back to peeling the carrots.

Tommy smiled softly and began chopping, he felt warm inside knowing you weren’t judging him for his sordid past. He made a mental note to ask you, without probing, about why you moved here in the first place, but he’d leave that for your coffee date on the weekend, for now he would stick to lighter topics.

The rest of the evening passed quickly with you and Tommy getting to know each other better on service level subjects, foregoing any dark past discussions, and once the food was served and dishes washed, you said goodnight to everyone, including Tommy, and locked up for the night.

You got home just after 9pm and Jet met you at the door much in his usual fashion, tail wagging and jumping up to express his excitement. Only tonight something felt off when you closed the door.

Your eyes scanned the living room of your small house trying to find anything amiss. You didn’t notice it until you’d walked further into the house and past the kitchen, when you stopped and backtracked.

Your kitchen window sat open with the curtains billowing in with the cold winter breeze. All of the plants and glass jars filled with Jets treats which you kept on the windowsill had been knocked over, the contents spilled all over the sink and counter tops. The soil from the plants had been tracked through the kitchen and lead a very faint path into your bedroom down the hallway.

Slowly, with abated breaths, you walked into the hallway and pushed your bedroom door open.

There was nothing there, no person waiting in the dark, no chest of drawers with their contents strewn all over the floor. Just your bedroom exactly how you had left it, with two mucky footprints which stopped at your bedroom door.

———————————-

- Chapter Three Here -

#jake gyllenhaal #jake gyllenhaal gifs #quentin beck #character: elwood dalton #donnie darko #jake gyllenhaal gif #gyllenhaaledit #jacob gyllenhaal #jacob benjamin gyllenhaal #pilot kelson #jake gyllenhaal x reader #Tommy Cahill x reader

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joekeeray · 2 years

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mayhaps 28 and 52 from those prompts? 👀

Oof these were good ones and it still took me 1000 years to write like ??? the dialogue is literally right there smh. Anyway, i am so sorry for being this way :') Thank you for the request fam and enjoy!!

Send me a request from this prompt list!

pairing: Steve Harrington/Female Reader

warnings/extra tags: explicit smut, MINORS DNI, unprotected sex, semi-public sex aka they're fooling around somewhere they shouldn't be, steve being gentle and cheeky, and kisses, so many kisses, beta read

It was a slow day at the Hawkins Public Library where you worked. Typically you were out on the floor, returning books to the shelves, helping patrons of the library find specific books, or wiping down the tables or even sweeping nothing.

Today though your boss Marissa had asked you to work at the front desk. You thought maybe it was because it was a slow day, and she'd rather busy herself with your job rather than sitting around, which was exactly what you were doing.

You were sitting on the rolling chair at the front desk, flipping through some books that were asked to be put on hold earlier in the day and wondering who it could be for when the door was pulled open.

You lifted your eyes to see who just walked in and were pleasantly surprised to see it was your boyfriend Steve. Your gaze softened, and you smiled at the sight of him and he looked just as surprised as you to see you were working the front desk today.

"Your boss should really let you work the front desk more often," Steve told you, not using his indoor voice. You pressed your finger over your lips in the universal 'be quiet' gesture, and he cringed and apologized and said just above a whisper, “I just think if you were working the front before I'd come in more often."

You chuckled softly, cheeks heating up at his compliment, "What are you doing here? I thought I was meeting you at my place tonight."

"I got off my shift early," Steve replied, leaning on the surface of the desk as he rested his brown gaze on yours, "And I wanted to see you sooner."

"Well, here I am," you said cheekily, "But I still have a while before I'm off. You don't...have to stay here and wait."

"Well, there's plenty to do..." he looked around for a moment, before he leaned even closer to you and said quieter, "Actually, I was wondering if I could have the keys to the basement?"

You furrowed your eyebrows in confusion, "What? The basement? Why?"

Steve licked his bottom lip softly, and your eyes caught it. Now you were suspiciously squinting your eyes at him, "What do you need in the basement?"

"Just stuff," he replied with an innocent look in his brown eyes, "Now, can I have the basement key?"

You hummed with interest and told him you didn't have the key, and moved to stand to find Marissa. Steve remained in his spot, smiling at you cheekily while you were still incredibly suspicious.

Marissa was still shelving some books when you found her, and she gave you the key with no question as to who even wanted it, and just told you to tell them to have fun. Though, you didn't really know what kind of fun Steve was going to have down there, without you at least...

You returned to find Steve right where you left him, and you held the key out to him, but moved it away before he could even grab it, "You're not going to mess around down there, right?"

Steve reached for the key some more, and you stepped back and he sighed, "No, I would never...I mean unless you were there with me."

You tilted your head, not sure if you were reading Steve right, but hoping that you were, so you replied in dramatized disappointment, "I have to stay here."

"But I'm a patron here, and I need help, and I'm sure your boss wouldn't want you to leave a patron helpless," he said, finally getting the keys from you, "Now, I'll be down there, and you come whenever you're ready."

He winked at you then, twirling the keys in his hand before walking away from you. You raised a single brow, then sighed deeply as an amused smile grew on your lips.

After informing Marissa that you were needed in the basement for uh- research, you descended down the steps a little too excitedly trying to find your boyfriend.

"Steve?" you called into the open space, "I'm here! What do you need help with?"

Steve emerged from behind the stairs, and once your eyes met, he was walking toward you and wrapped a single arm around your waist. You wasted no time in colliding your lips with his.

It was a feverish kiss, a kiss that was well aware that you were on a time limit. Your lips collided almost messily, and his breath was hot against yours when your lips overlapped and you tasted his coconut chapstick, one that was once yours and he stole after you commented on his chapped lips a few make-out sessions ago.

The thought made your grin against him, and he leaned away with his lips still a few inches away as he asked you what was so funny.

"Nothing," you replied cheekily as you reached up to entangle your fingers into his hair. His breath hitched when you'd done so, and his eyes shifted ever so slightly at your gesture.

"Shit," he started breathlessly, "What if I told you I wanted you right here."

You felt heat rise to your cheeks right then and there at his words, and you asked, "Right now?"

He nodded at you once, running his tongue across his lips again before he was leaning in once more.

"I would say...keep it in your pants," you said half-jokingly before adding, "We're at my job Steve."

"Oh so we can fool around at mine, but not yours?" Steve asked, placing a soft kiss onto your lips and then your chin.

You blinked and replied, "Because it's loud at the video store, I work in a library. Someone's going to hear us."

"Then we'll just have to be quiet," he told you, now leaning down and pressing wet kisses to your neck. You exhaled through your nose when his lips found that little spot on your neck that he knew made you go wild.

"Quiet," you scoffed softly because how can anybody be quiet when they had a boyfriend like Steve Harrington?

"Yeah, we are in a library after all," he chuckled against the skin of your neck at his own stupid joke, tickling you and sending a wave of pleasurable chills over you. You pulled at the strands of his hair gently, making him move to look at you again.

You were going to tell him 'no way' but when you saw his heated gaze, you felt your entire body heat up even more, and you nervously bit your bottom lip as you instead contemplated it.

There were two choices. The first one was that you could go up to your job where you were just sitting around doing nothing, and the second choice was staying down here with your beloved boyfriend and get a preview of what tonight at your place was going to be. And honestly, you thought there was a reason you decided to wear a skirt today...

Obviously, one choice prevailed over the other, and you released your bottom lip and nodded at Steve. It took him a second, and he grinned, "God you're the most beautiful, and best girlfriend."

"Yeah yeah," you said, feeling your pulse race at his compliment before bringing his lips back to yours as your hands moved down to his pants. He hummed pleasurable against your kiss when he felt your hand palm his growing erection through his tight jeans.

"Fuck, see what you do to me?" he asked before he was gently grasping you and moving you toward a table that was deeper into the basement, "Just the thought of you makes me like this."

You lifted yourself onto the table when close enough, and Steve comfortably stepped in between your legs as he leaned in to steal another kiss from you.

By god, you loved when he kissed you like this, when his lips practically devoured yours and took your breath away all at once. It always made your head feeling like it was swimming and something about being in the basement of the library caused a sort of rush as well.

Usually, he would build up to such an intensity, but because you weren't at either of your houses and rather at your work, he was kissing you like this straight away and it was almost overwhelming as you hooked your legs around him and pulled him impossibly closer.

"Are you sure it's okay?" Steve asked you, his forehead pressed gently against yours and his voice a gentle rasp.

You were nodding, meeting his pretty brown gaze, loving how he wanted make sure you were still on board with fucking at your work like this. To further add to your answer, you reached down yourself to grasp the bottom of your skirt and lifted it upward and batted your eyelashes at him.

Steve's eyes lowered down, and he swiped his tongue over his bottom lip and nodded, "Remember, we have to be quiet."

"I work here everyday Steve," you told him, "I can be quiet. Can you?"

It felt almost like a challenge then, something flashing over his gaze as his eyes met yours again and he smiled smugly, "We'll just have to find out."

Excitement bubbled through you as he was leaning in to place tender kisses on your neck again all the while his large hands were on your thighs and gently spreading them further.

He massaged your skin there before his hand lifted higher and touched you where you needed him to the most. Your breath hitched in your throat as you felt his fingers grazing over the cotton of your panties.

His nuzzled his face onto the crook of your neck for a moment, releasing a breathy moan himself as he felt the wet patch on the fabric and he gently pressed against it before his fingers trailed upward to your clit, gently circling it. Quiet moans erupted from between your lips, and Steve was lifting his head again.

Your eyes met his, taking in the heat of his gaze as his fingers caused you to shudder and you try and keep a particular louder moan from coming out. He let out a breathless chuckle as he pressed a chaste kiss to your cheek that felt like they were simply on fire at this point.

Your breaths were in soft pants as he touched you, and you said in a soft whine, "Steve come on..."

His sucked in a tight breath, and replied in a low, raspy voice, "I know, I know, I just love seeing you like this, I have to take a moment to really take in you in." His words made your heart flutter in your chest, and suddenly, a sort of bashfulness had come over you.

You were honestly never used to this many compliments until you started dating Steve, so every time he said something like that you would visibly melt on the spot and become shy. And Steve knew this, which was why he probably continued to do it.

And his next words really solidified that for you as he smiled at you and he said, "I love seeing you get so flustered."

His words made you even more flustered, but it was quickly replaced by him placing one more kiss onto your lips before he pulled away and began to undo his pants in almost record time.

At the same time, you were pulling your own underwear off, kicking it somewhere onto the floor and before you knew it, Steve had his erection in his hand, and was stroking himself a few times.

You used your legs to bring him closer, begging him to fuck you right on this table in a hushed, needy tone and Steve obliged, aligning himself with your entrance and allowing the head of his cock to part your wet folds.

You wrapped your arms around his shoulders as he was pushing deeper into you, and pressed your face against his neck to suppress and muffle your moans until he was completely sheathed inside of you, deliciously stretching you out.

A quiet groan erupted from him this time, and he told you to hook your legs around him. You did as told, and he cursed under his breath, always loving how your walls clenched and stretched around him. You were so warm and tight, and perfect that he didn't want to move just yet.

If you were anywhere else, you'd probably let him stay like this inside of you for a bit longer as you loved feeling him just as much as he loved feeling you, but the books that surrounded you were a reminder of where you actually were.

You grasped onto him, and reminded him as well, then said in a breathy voice, "We'll have all tonight to be as slow as we want..." Steve was nodding, and then he was beginning to move.

You had to keep your face against his neck as his hips started to move, thrusting in and out of you at an easy pace that elicited quiet pants from you with every pump of his cock.

"Faster Steve, please," you were whispering against his skin, and like always, he listened to you, placing his hands firmly against the table top on either side of you for leverage as he started to roll his hips into yours at a faster pace.

You grasped Steve's shoulders, digging your nails onto the fabric of the sweater he was wearing, wrinkling it as your moans were becoming less and less contained.

"Thought you said you could be quiet," Steve told you teasingly, despite the quivering of his own voice as he shoved himself back into you and cursed once again. In retaliation, you nipped at the skin on his neck affectionately, and it caused him to let out a particularly loud moan, "Fuck, okay I'll stop teasing." He laughed softly, and bit his bottom lip until it was tender as he fucked into you harder and faster, suppressing his own groans of pleasure.

The table under you began to creak with your movements, but you couldn't really say anything as his cock was making you feel so good and it honestly wasn't that loud, just a quiet creaking with every buck of his hips.

You felt your orgasm building up inside of you, your legs starting to twitch as heat pooled over your lower half and you lifted your head to tell him right in his ear how good he was making you feel, and that you were close.

"I love when you talk like this, fuck," Steve was saying in response and he picked up the pace now, his thrusts becoming sporadic and hitting a certain spot in you that had you squeezing your eyes shut and focusing on that heat inside of you.

"Bite down on me when it happens, I know you'll be loud," Steve told you, his voice husky and breathless as he clenched his teeth. You nodded and pressed your face back into his neck and you were panting his name in broken whispers as he brought you right to the edge.

You had done as told when it hit you finally, sinking your teeth into him as muffled whines slipped past your lips as your orgasm rocked through you in waves of pleasure.

The combination of your walls fluttering around him and your mouth biting down on Steve's neck pushed him right over the edge not too long after, and with a final curse, he buried himself into your cunt and went still.

You hooked your legs tightly around him, keeping him there as he finished inside of you, feeling shock waves of heat and release continuing to grip at your body...

A few minutes had passed, you were still clinging to Steve and his head had fallen over your shoulder, his body heaving against you as your respective orgasms passed and you were post in post orgasmic bliss.

It was you who moved first, gently lifting your head off of his shoulder and letting your eyes graze over the pretty impressive mark you'd left on the spot you bit down on before he was lifting his head too to look at you.

There was a lazy smile on his lips, and his cheeks were flushed. There was also a smug look in his gaze that turned into adoration when you leaned in to kiss his tender and slightly swollen lips from him having to bite down on them to keep as quiet as possible.

"Honestly, I think you're the best librarian," he joked, "Is there a way I can talk you up to your boss? Maybe get you promoted to the front desk all the time?"

Even though he had literally just came inside of you, he was still making jokes and you smacked his shoulder, and replied "You aren't talking to her, especially with that mark on your neck. Way to make it obvious. If I lose my job, Harrington, you're taking care of me full-time."

He blinked, then laughed, and said, "I don't mind it honestly, anything to keep my girl happy." You were kissing again, just until you had to go back up and finish your shift, hoping that you could properly get back up the stairs and sit without your thoughts drifting back to what had just happened in this basement.

#he likes coconut now alskjklaj #wanna kiss this man so much makes me look stupid #also #i think? i used the prompts right? it sounded awkward alone alsjsakj #write a smut is time accordance challenge @ me #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington imagine #steve harrington smut #steve harrington #reader insert #female reader #lys writes again

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