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#anyway still killing time til the finale

kisses4choso · 2 months

Text

# CHEATING? ON ME? WITH HIM?

SYNOPSIS: misunderstandings -> jealousy WARNINGS: suggestive, gender neutral, super long drabbles, cheating (doesn't actually happen), misunderstandings, toji is toxic, a little angsty with geto, nanami's a little corny CHARACTERS: TOJI, GETO, NANAMI

NOTE: in celebration of JJK winning 6 awards! PART: 1...

the clock hit ten p.m. right as TOJI stepped into your house. he said he would be late, and he wasn’t lying. it was what he expected. until his plan got called off by his handler; somebody had beat him to the mission.

it was a pain in the ass, he’d be making no money that day. but it meant he’d have the rest of the night— and you— to himself. or so he thought.

he entered the house as he normally would, with the key you always left in the potted plant by the front door. he took his shoes off (a habit he took up while living with you) and walked leisurely toward your bedroom, but his steps slowed down as he heard your voice from the other side of your door.

“… i mean, he’s not home right now. i don’t know where he is but he said he’d be back at 3,” you spoke softly into the phone, and he heard a muffled male voice come from the speaker. you smiled and continued, “i’ll be up anyway.”

you’ll be up anyway? what the hell would you be up for and why was it of any interest to the fucker on the receiving end? toji almost stepped forward and announced his presence, but you interrupted his train of thought with a laugh.

“he’d kill you,” you still hadn’t turned around to see the man at your door, and your voice seemed a little too carefree for his taste, “i promise i won’t tell him anything.”

toji had never been one for monogamous relationships. or relationships that went further than skin-to-skin connection, really.

yet, he couldn’t deny the way his blood boiled hearing your huffs of laughter as you talked to another man. behind his back at that.

he didn’t expect the pang of betrayal to hit him— he had forgotten that feeling long ago and vowed to never remember it. but…

“uh-huh, i'll call you later. bye,” you hung up and shook your head in amusement— but your smile immediately dropped and was replaced by sheer horror at the sudden feeling of a hand wrapped tightly around both your wrists.

you always felt toji before you saw him.

he had both your hands pressed together behind your back, preventing you from you turning around. he didn't want you to see the red that coated the tips of his ears or the twitch of his jaw.

he didn't need you to know he was fuming or that you had control over his emotions.

“toji— what the hell?” he snatched your phone with his free hand, and you didn't fight it, "when did you get home?"

he didn’t answer and instead scrolled through your call log.

toji tapped on your phone, and his eyes landed on your most recent call, “fuckin’ cute that you think an unsaved number hides anything."

he scoffed at your lack of reply and continued, "you gonna tell me his name or am i gonna have to call him?”

"what are you on about?" you tried to wiggle your wrists out of his grasp but he held on tighter, pulling you toward him in the process, your back to his chest.

"you really want this shit the hard way? fine, that's on brand for you," he dialed the number, waiting (not so) patiently for the man to pick up.

the other end of the line finally picked up, and the man didn't waste any time, "hey, finally heard back from him?"

shiu kong.

toji could recognize his handler's voice anywhere, unfortunately for him. but in the moment of shock, he failed to answer and let your hands go.

you turned around to face toji and spoke into the mic, "hi shiu, yeah, he's right here."

"fushiguro, i've been blowing up your phone cause i got a job for you for real this time. couldn't reach you so i thought i'd just call you through here. so, about the mission..."

you were about to shove past toji, but he hung up and threw your phone on your bed.

"shit, thought you were planning to fuck some loser 'til i got here."

you rolled your eyes, this is what you got for trying to help shiu out, "is that what this tantrum was about? don't trust me?"

and yeah, thinking about it from his perspective, the conversation sounded extremely suspicious. but his reaction was... somewhat endearing for someone who's supposedly 'non-chalant'.

toxic? sure. but you knew what you signed up for.

"can't trust anybody," he glanced at your hands, unsure of how to proceed. should he apologize? ice your wrists? they didn't look hurt. he didn't think he had seriously hurt you. or that he could ever hurt you, at least, not physically.

you took note of his lingering gaze, "i'm fine, you pinning my wrists behind me isn't anything new."

he exhaled in amusement, the call notifications from shiu serving as background noise, “you were right though. i'd kill him.”

“you’re not supposed to be here, y’know,” you frowned at the tall man in front of you. he was sweaty and in wrinkled clothes, like he had come straight from the gym or from a really good nap.

either way, he wasn't welcome at suguru's house (ever since he'd walked in on you two... bonding... multiple times). but you especially didn't want to see him that particular weekend.

GETO would be coming back from a long mission that day and you were not in the mood to see anyone else but your beloved.

gojo stuck his tongue out at you, “and you are? listen, i get that suguru's your boyfriend but you’re so greedy with him.”

“what... how are you calling me greedy?" he shrugged and walked past you into suguru's home. you scoffed as he took off his shoes, casually threw them next to yours, and headed straight to the kitchen.

“i never see him anymore, but when i do you always have your tongue down his throat," gojo threw you a disgusted glance from over his shoulder, "or worse, your tongue further south."

“wow, would you rather have your tongue down his throat?”

he ignored you, “anyway, do you have something to cool me down? it’s like 300 degrees outside.”

“we have ice cream bars in the freezer, but they’re sugur—“

at the words “ice cream”, gojo’s eyes seemed to gloss over and he quickly dug his hands into your freezer…

...on the other side of the door, suguru was taking out his keys.

but he found that the door was completely open.

it was strange, and he would definitely get onto you later for being so forgetful, but he was just happy to finally be home from that month-long mission.

he stepped into your home and the second thing he noticed was a man's pair of shoes next to your own.

then he heard your laugh resonate through his house, and another voice mocking your laugh.

geto took a step forward and then froze again when he heard seemingly lewd slurping noises and a yelp from you.

his heart dropped to his stomach. but you could be slurping noodles! maybe they were hot and you burned yourself or…

“you’re nasty— you’re such a messy eater, gojo.”

gojo? geto didn’t know whether to panic or be relieved. a part of him wanted to just walk in and trust that he would find you two eating soup of some sort.

but another, more twisted, part of him couldn’t shake off the disgusting feeling that crawled into his chest. the noises, the door, the shoes, your choice of words...

so he gave in and stood there, in the middle of the living room, just to ground himself. it seemed you two probably hadn’t heard him come in, and he was curious.

he didn’t know you two hung out without him. one on one. he wasn't even aware you liked gojo enough to laugh so loudly at his jokes.

he heard the shutter of a camera followed with your muffled laugh, and then gojo’s voice, “don’t send that to him— he says i have a habit of taking what’s his, and he’ll totally hate me.”

the conversation really, truly, could not get any more suggestive than that.

gojo continued, “you don’t wanna ruin our friendship, do you?”

ruin? could eating noodles with your friend's lover really ruin—

“aw, come on,” you insisted, “you got it all over your chin, is it sweet?”

all over his chin? sweet? he was gonna be sick.

"yeah, your boyfriend’s got good taste, huh?”

geto’s bag dropped from his hands and he coughed, trying to get rid of that pressure around his throat. your voices became muffled to him and he felt the all-too-familiar sour taste climb up his throat.

“an intruder?!”

“what? no— suguru’s home!” you smiled, hopping off your chair to greet your lover, but you reached the living room and he stood there, unmoving, his eyes shaky and bouncing quickly across your face and body before finally landing on your eyes, "suguru, you look so pale, are you okay?”

your hair looked neat. your lips weren't red or swollen. you were completely dressed.

the cute shirt he recalled gifting you flattered you perfectly and he looked down and spotted and fuzzy slippers you always kept at his place.

he felt his heartbeat still, and he spoke with an uncharacteristic rasp, "where is he?"

"who? gojo? ugh, in the kitchen eating all your ice cream! can you believe that? i was just about to send you a picture of the mess he made but he stole my phone."

geto swallowed thickly, "ice cream?"

"yeah, i'm sorry, i know it's your favorite," you reached out to push his hair out of his face, "is everything okay? you look tired, was the mission bad?"

he relaxed his shoulders, "yeah, 'm fine, why is... why are you here with him?

you shook your head, "i was here yesterday hoping you'd show up and gojo walked in earlier saying he was overheating and wanted something to eat."

satoru soon waltzed into the living room, chocolate painting the corners of his mouth, "hey, you're back. how'd it go?"

geto frowned at his friend's appearance, "went fine. now, get out."

"huh?!"

"you're banned from visiting, ever, especially when i'm not here."

"what?! are you serious? over a few ice cream bars? i'll pay you back! seriously, you two are so greedy."

geto checked him with a sharp glare, and his friend rolled his eyes, the chocolate on the corners of his mouth dragging down with his frown.

and when he finally left (not without a not-so-sly comment about you two "being safe" because he was "too young to be an uncle") geto finally wrapped his arms around you, using your scent as an anchor, "i'm sorry."

"for what?"

he shook his head, the horrible taste in his mouth long gone, "i'm stupid."

he didn't let you question him any further, placing a quick kiss on your nose, "let's catch up."

NANAMI stared at his phone's homescreen, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand. it was early in the morning for him, and really late at night for you.

it wasn't out of the ordinary for you to text him late at night, especially while he was abroad, but the contents of the text made his heart squeeze.

♡: so we're on for next saturday?

his fingers hovered over the screen, and he forced himself to sit up all the way in the hotel bed. he could text you back, but you've always insisted that hearing his voice is "one-hundred and twenty-seven thousand times better".

then again, you had sent the text over two hours ago, when he was deep asleep, and he was sure it was way past your normal bed time. so, he opted for typing out a quick response.

did you mean to send me that?

i'm not back until the week after next.

to his surprise, you responded rather quickly.

♡: sorry, ken

♡: wrong person :(

♡: why are you up so early?

nanami stared at his screen and decided to call you instead. his phone rang once, twice, and then your voice was on the other end, "hi, is the hotel bed comfortable?"

"it's not as nice as ours."

he swore he could practically hear the smile in your voice, "really? guess you should come back soon then."

"just two more weeks."

"yeah, i know. i miss you like crazy though. like i ordered our favorite take-out yesterday but i accidentally ordered for two so i had to share with shoko."

cute, but that didn't shake off the weird feeling in his chest, "yeah? and why are you up so late?"

"oh, i was waiting for a text."

"ah. okay."

and it was radio silence after that. you picked at your nails and nanami cleared his throat.

"who," nanami cleared his throat again, a nervous habit of his, "who are you meeting on saturday?"

"i'm meeting gojo."

silence again. and then...

"one on one?"

"yup, we're planning the exchange program," you told him, and he sighed into the mic. your heart fluttered at the barely audible sound, and you wondered if you could get him to facetime you instead, so you could see him in all his glory: tired eyes and blond stubble.

but he spoke before you could, "on a saturday?"

gojo was stronger. the leader of a powerful clan. tall. a nice face and (albeit superficially) charismatic.

"yeah, i'm busy all week with the second years."

"do you think you could take utahime with you? or shoko?"

you laughed at his question. so that's what this was about. you had never seen your boyfriend jealous, so this was a first.

"hm, why?"

the man himself didn't know how to answer your question. it's not like he believed you would ever go after gojo. he wasn't exactly the most charming after getting to know him. but nanami couldn't lie, he had a certain appeal with people, although he'd never understand it.

so the best he could come up with was: "i... don't like how he looks at you."

you smiled at his shaky response, "you can't even see his eyes."

he whispered your name and you hated that you liked the desperation in his voice, "please?"

"is this you being jealous?" you pushed, and he groaned at your teasing.

he tugged on his pillow to put it into its place and put you on speaker, "don't make this difficult."

your laugh filled the room and nanami continued making his bed, "i just don't like how he flirts with you with no shame. i can't imagine how he acts when i'm not around."

"he's shameless, but he knows his place."

he raised his brows, "which is?"

"the very, very, very last place. compared to you, at least."

"is that so?" he smiled widely, and he wished he could see the look on your face as you said that.

"it is so," your voice flowed smoothly through the speakers, keeping him warm against the cold breeze of the hotel air conditioning.

"so who takes second place?"

"shoko, probably."

he laughed, picking up his phone to take you with him to wash his face in the restroom, "she's my competition?"

"competition? for what? she's not the one who..." you trailed off purposefully, allowing him to finish the sentence with his own imagination.

he chuckled, sure that if he indulged you, you wouldn't sleep any time soon. so he played along, "...who?

he turned off the tap water, drying his face with a rough towel and he wondered if you were already done with your nightly routine, his favorite sight to come home to. it's why he always chose the flights that landed at night.

"nothing," you bit the inside of your cheek, "just know you're first and nothing could change that."

he hummed, choosing his words carefully before speaking, "i don't think i'd have any room for places in my heart."

"what? why?"

"you'd take them all up."

nanami making the bed and cleaning up so room service doesn't have to bc he's a gentleman 😭

#gojo and choso next?#mayhaps the students?#jjk x reader #geto x reader #jjk imagines #geto x you #nanami x reader #nanami x you #nanami fluff #toji x reader #toji x you #suguru geto #nanami kento #toji fushiguro #toji zenin #geto fluff #toji fluff

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sukunas-wife · 4 months

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hello 👋 I absolutely love your writing and it makes me soft 💗 can I ask for something soft with baby yuji who won't stop crying until dad sukuna comes home and bc reader left him with babysitter 🥹 anyway idk if u take anons but if u do can I be 🩵

🥹 Yuji’s the kinda kid who looks up to his dad no matter what, there is no wrong in his eyes. so I can see a confused Sukuna threatening a baby sitter because his son is crying and not running to him screaming daddy! 😭

The palace was quiet aside from the fact Yuji was crying hysterically, his eyebrows furrowed and snot running down his nose. The babysitter was holding his kicking figure trying to get him to calm down. He was thrown halfway over his shoulder still reaching out for his mother who had left not too long ago. The babysitter finally relented, kneeling and setting Yuji down. “Hey buddy, I know you don’t spend a lot of time away from your parents but you’re gonna be okay we can play your favourite game. We can do anything you want.”

Yuji stood there fidgeting his hands, teary eyed as his bottom lip shook firm trying to hold back cries. “Cmon bud tell me what you want?” He held Yuji at arms length, looking hopeful now that the boy wasn’t screaming in his ear. “I wan..” his voice shaky “I WANT DADDY” he threw himself on the floor crying louder when he hit his head. The babysitter sighed, picking up Yuji and carrying him to the table, “Let’s get you something to eat, your mom left in such a rush I don’t know if you ate.”

Yuji sniffled, still teary eyed, when his babysitter left him alone at the table to run and get a quick snack. A mistake on his part, Yuji looked around before turning around and sliding off his chair. “‘M leaving.” Yuji ran to his room trying to hide under his bed when he heard his babysitter calling his name, and running around looking for him. “Hey bud! Yuji! Prince!?” He ran into the room stopping in front of his hiding spot, “Prince Yuji, your mom AND Dad gonna kill me if I lose you please!” His pleas were in vain when Yuji buckled down and refused to make a sound or come out. He was glaring at his babysitter’s feet, before he turned around and rushed out the room “where are ya kid?!”

As soon as the babysitter closed the door Yuji rushed out and to the tapestry on the wall wiggling to get behind it, “he won’t go to daddy’s room.” Just before he could jump to reach the door he felt something grab him and he screamed before busting out into tears. “DADDY HELP!” Flailing around while “Ryosuke” his babysitter tried to carry him back to the table, “Cmon Yuji! Ya gotta eat or at least work with me buddy.” He sat Yuji down at the table only for Yuji to look straight down with an angry pout, “Nu.”

“Please?” “Mm mm” He shook his head back and forth. “Please Prince Yuji?” “No!” He turned his back to Ryo trying to slip off the chair again only for Ryo to pull him back, “Can’t leave til we talk this out just tell me what I can do please?” Ryo was borderline begging only for Yuji to side eye him over his shoulder, with teary eyes “Hide and seek.” Ryo sighed “alright one game, but I’m hiding, you’d probably run out the house.”

Yuji just stared at Ryo with dry tears in his eyes, “…okay..” Yuji put his head down on the table counting, listening to Ryo walking away and out of the room. As soon as he was gone Yuji ran out the other side of the dining room and ran straight for your room, “he can’t catch me,” his little legs making it to his parents room he tried to quietly close the door before running to the bed clinging to the blanket trying to climb up. “Tora” Yuji grunted, finally climbing onto the bed where he snatched his stuffed tiger, hugging it. Everything was quiet, Yuji sat there with his back against the headboard. Bringing his knees up he hugged his plushie, before the tears started to quietly fall, “want my daddy..” he flopped over onto your pillow, the tears slowly falling while he looked out your room’s window. The sky was blue, the tree branches outside were big and green, the birds that used to sing in the morning and coo at night were gone… he was alone. He closed his eyes blindly reaching for the blanket to cover himself, there was a tight feeling in his little chest and he sniffled crying himself to sleep.

Yuji woke up hot, his face and body sweating. Tora was on the floor. His hair sticking to his forehead and he started to tear up until he heard a loud banging and screaming. “LORD SUKUNA! IM SORRY IM SO SORRY PLEASE FORGIVE ME I'VE BEEN LOOKING ALL DAY HE SAID HE THE YOUNG PRINCE! He said he wanted to play Hide and seek!- You fool you humans are useless pathetic excuses of flesh If I find my son and he’s hurt in any way IT. WILL. BE. YOUR. LIFE.” A loud thud, “URAUME don’t let him leave.” It sounded like Sukuna was snarling, “YUJI.” “Daddy!”

Yuji rushed, falling off the bed and jumping back up with Tora in one hand. He rushed to the door jumping to catch the knob. “YUJI” Sukuna’s voice was loud and clear through the heavy wooden door, “where the hell is MY SON.” Yuji could hear the loud banging and shocked gasps of the maids. Finally managing to get the door open he squeezed through “Daaaad!” Yuji stood in front of the door, red faced and happy to see his dad. Sukuna’s head snapped to look at his son, relief visibly washed over him. “Where wer- daaaaaad” Yuji started to cry for his dad, eyes closing when he rubbed his free hand against his eyes. Sukuna was shocked as he knelt down and called his son in a softer voice, “Come here Yuji.” Yuji sniffled and ran to his dad standing between his legs burying his face in his stomach trying to hug him the best his short chubby arms would. Sukuna’s stare softened as he ran a hand up and down Yuji’s back the boy’s cries and shaky breaths getting quieter the longer he was in his dads embrace. Picking him up as he stood, Yuji let his head fall on his dads shoulder hugging his tiger to his chest, his breathing was wheezy after crying himself sick. “What did this idiot do to you?” Sukuna turned to walk towards the babysitter who was kneeling rigid on the floor of the throne room. “…nothing..” was all Yuji mumbled when he saw the poor guy. “He didn’t hit you? Scare you? Make you cry?” Sukuna was staring down at his son. “No but he was annoying.” Yuji said, looking up at his dad. “Did you eat?” On que Yuji’s stomach grumbled, “no..” “He didn't feed you?” “I ran and hid..”

“Uraume,” Sukuna was staring the man down, Uraume left quickly “Yes Lord Sukuna.”

“You,” Ryo’s eyes quickly flicked up and down, not wanting to face Lord Sukuna, King of Curses for too long, “I’m feeling merciful.. Get out, and never come back by the time my son counts to five and I’ll let you live.”

“One… two…” Ryo struggled to get up, having already taken one hit from Sukuna, “uhh… three!” Ryo was managing to get out of the throne room to the door “Four… ehh ff..sss” Sukuna looked at his son confused, “six!” Yuji bounced, smiling up at his dad who was staring in disbelief. “Oh.. five!” The door closed by the time Yuji said five, “Really saved that guy huh?” Yuji hugged his dads neck “m hungry..”

“Let’s go, Uraume should be fixing something up, I’ll have to talk to your mother about those Damn babysitters too.” Yuji just smiled up at his dad, “You’re so strong daddy.”

Tysm for ask 🩵

@sad-darksoul @cyder-puff @satorisgirl @bontensbabygirl @lupita97lm @sakuxxi @mercymccann @simpforyoubitch @certainduckanchor @domainofmarie @najiiix @bakugou-katsukis-wife

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iluvmorales · 11 months

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Earth 42, Miles Morales

summary you’re practically part of the family.

a/n none

word count ??

You placed a lid over the pot of arroz, allowing it to steam while Rio, mrs.morales, played her reggaetón. “Mija, you can leave it now it’ll be a couple minutes before it’s done for sure.” She called out, waving you towards her.

You nodded and smiled, making your way over to her. “Miles and Aaron should be back before it’s ready, thank you for helping me mija.” She smiled sweetly. Mrs. Morales was always so sweet to you, she believed you were a great influence on her son and an even better future daughter in law.

“Ah I’m not in a rush anyways, I love cooking with mi suegra” you took a seat next to her. She beamed at the name, she couldn’t wait til you and miles married, even thought that would be years from now since you both are still teens.

Just as she was about to get up to finish laundry, the front door open and a sweet familiar voice called out. “Mamí we’re home!” Miles.

Rio walked over to greet her son with a warm hug and a side hug to uncle Aaron. Miles walked over to you with open arms as Aaron and Rio walked to a back room. “Hola mi hermosa” he rolled his r’s and his voice was deeper, but you got up to give him a big hug anyways. “How was it today?” You asked, a smile across your lips.

You knew who miles was, even after a big fight when you found out, you both came to an agreement. The terms being he made it home safe every night, No killing innocent people, and he’d text, call or tell you in person about every job he worked.

“It was smooth actually, no fighting, no ambushes just an honest transaction.” He huffed, his hands slowly sliding off your waist before falling back into the chair.

You just hummed as you went to check on the rice once more, peeking into the room and seeing Aaron slide Rio some cash, to which she reluctantly accepted after he told her to take care of his nephew.

You went back to minding your own business, watching miles walk to his room to change. After a good 10 mins, the rice was finally done “Food is ready!” You called out. Rio and Aaron walked to the kitchen. “Smells good as hell” Aaron laughed, causing rio to laugh along. “All cause’ of Y/N! I think she’d make a perfect nuera para mi” she winked at you, and you smiled.

“You all can sit down I already started serving plates.” You hummed. It was Arroz con gandules y bife, nothing too special. You set their plates down before looking around, noticing miles was still not back.

You turned to Aaron with a puzzled face ; “did he eat at all today?” The man shook his head before gesturing for you to go after him. You huffed before marching towards his room. “Get on his ah mija!” Rio jokingly called out causing a laughter.

You knocked lightly before opening the door. It was dark, and all you could see was clothes all over the place and his silhouette laying on the bed. “What’s the point of knocking if you’re just going to come in anyways?” miles joked, his voice strained.

“Miles are you alright?” You walked up to his bed, sitting next to his lap. “Yeah I’m just tired, really sleep for some reason.” He yawned mid way through his sentence, his shirtless chest rising and falling.

You placed a hand on his leg, patting it; “Can you eat something before you pass out then? Uncle Aaron said you haven’t eaten, and I cooked for you.” Your voice laced with concern and a hint of pleading.

It wasn’t all too uncommon for miles to forget to eat, his job took up a lot of his time. “Yeah, yeah.” He sat up, rubbing his eyes before placing a hand around your waist. He pulled you with one hand and another lifted your chin and placed a kiss on your lips.

“I knew the food smelt too good for it to be my moms cooking.” He joked, causing giggles to erupt from the both of you.

#miles morales #miles morales x reader #miles morales prowler #prowler!miles #prowler!miles x reader #earth 42 #into the spider verse #across the spiderverse #spider verse

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ofstoriesandstardust · 3 months

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like real people do (j.h.s.)

a/n: i watched set it up for the first time last night and got so inspired to write more for these two. please enjoy.

summary: A camping trip means secrets come a-tumbling out.

second star to the right (and straight on 'til morning)

warnings: swearing, allusions to sex

word count: 1.7k

“we could just kiss like real people do”

Jake huffs, letting his hands fall to his hips as he stares at his closet.

“I don’t own anything to go camping.” You peer over the top of your phone to your boyfriend whose frown is growing by the second.

“It’s one night Jake.”

“Who’s stupid idea was this anyways?” He grumbles, pulling a sweatshirt out of his closet before tossing it on the ground.

You don’t dare remind him camping had been Bradley’s idea, knowing it will only set him off further.

California offered relatively warm winters, but Bradley had found a campsite up north in Julian that was still open, offering the possibility of snow as an incentive to the group to go. Jake had been less than pleased by the idea but had caved to the enthusiasm of his friends, as long as you had promised to go with.

As the frustration grows in Jake's shoulders, you sigh.

“Jake, just come sit down for a second.”

He does, sliding across the bed. He positions himself to lay on top of you, in between your legs. His head meets your stomach as you reach down to curl your fingers in his hair.

With the season finally being over, he was letting it grow out a bit more than he normally did and you’d be lying to say you weren’t enjoying getting to curl your fingers in it at all moments.

“How is this gonna work Jake?” You mutter as his eyes flutter close. “You can barely keep your hands to yourself as it is.” He grunts, the vibrations settling against your stomach. “Are you gonna be able to manage while we’re out of town?”

He shrugs as his arms sneak under your body, wrapping around your stomach. “No.” He says petulantly. “Which is why I think we shouldn’t go. I can think of much better ways to spend our time than shivering our asses off in a sleeping bag on dirt for a night.”

He grins up at you through his eyelashes as you give him a displeased look. “We’re going.”

He groans, face falling into your stomach.

“You know, we could just tell them.”

After kissing Jake at Thanksgiving, he’d taken you out on date after date all the while asking you to keep it a secret from your friends. While he’d said at the time that it’s because they had all been so invested in the two of you getting together that they wouldn’t have let the two of you learn each other in private, you couldn’t help the pit in your stomach that it was because a guy like Jake didn’t want to be seen with a girl like you.

“No, because then they’re all gonna be up my ass.” His voice is muffled by the cotton of Jake’s t-shirt you’re wearing. “And I like having you all to myself.”

You sigh, beginning to push back his hair again. “We’re gonna have to tell them eventually.”

“Yeah, eventually. Right now, you’re all mine.”

Having to keep his hands to himself is killing him, you can tell.

Jake hadn’t gotten to sit next to you in the car, which had already started the trip off poorly. Javy had been riding shotgun with Natasha driving, Bradley in the middle of you and Jake.

It had been fine, until Mickey and Reuben had bickered too much and Bob had pulled their car over and made Mickey switch cars with Jake.

You’d gotten to the campsite later than anticipated, which had made things worse. In the way sleeping arrangements played out, he was with Reuben and Bradley (both notorious for snoring and snoring loudly), Mickey and Bob in a tent together, and Nat and Javy in another. You’d managed to end up by yourself as Bradley’s girlfriend hadn’t been able to make it at the last minute due to a work emergency.

And now, you’re sitting with Nat and Bob and Mickey, playing cards as the rest of the guys stand around the grill, chatting about the upcoming baseball season at school.

Except for Jake who’s sitting by the firepit, looking decidedly irritated.

Apparently, having to keep his hands to himself meant that Jake had decided he couldn’t talk to you at all, which was now irritating you.

As you sit down with your food, you sit next to Jake, tugging his shirt. You want to appreciate the way it brings out his eyes but you can’t as you drop your voice. All your friends were still by the picnic table, but Jake had apparently decided he wasn’t eating.

“You need to chill.” You whisper. “This is supposed to be fun.”

“Well, I’m not having any fun.”

“And whose fault is that?”

Jake crosses his arms as his nostrils flare. He turns away from you, kicking his feet up on the edge of the fireplace.

“Jake.” You say firmly. “You need to go get food and breathe. You’re being a downer. I understand you don’t want to be camping but try to be a good sport about it. It’s one night; you don’t need to drag your way through it by starving and isolating yourself.”

He lets out a lengthy breath, his shoulders relaxing as he does. “Don’t let Bradshaw take my spot.” He grumbles, standing up.

“Never.”

He’s gonna walk into the creek near their campsite and find a way to drown himself in it because he can not fucking take any more of this.

He glances at his watch, seeing that it's past 3.

The group had been up late, sharing stories and playing games but after you’d called it a night just past midnight, he’d lost interest. Unfortunately for him, Reuben had already crashed an hour prior and Bradley had called it when you did.

Meaning, he was trapped between two of the world’s most obnoxious snorers. He’s sure the two men can sleep through an earthquake and he’s not sure how they wake up to their alarms for early morning practice.

He’d hardly gotten to hang out with you tonight and not in the way he wanted. He wanted to be able to have you sit in his lap, a blanket on top for warmth as you slowly started to drift off on his chest. He wanted to be able to rub circles into your thighs and run his fingers through your hair. He wanted to kiss you and hold you and laugh with you.

He knew that he couldn’t because of his own stupid rule.

A particularly loud snore from Bradley sends him rocketing up from his sleeping bag, exhaustion and irritation driving him as he tugs the tent close before walking the ten paces or so to your tent. He doesn’t even think as he slides in, tugging at the zipper of your sleeping bag.

“Jake? What’re you doing?” You ask, more awake than he thinks you should be for the hour.

“Scoot.” He says and you accommodate him, moving over in the two-person sleeping bag you’d borrowed from Nick and Carole. “I can’t fucking sleep with those two.”

He feels his body instantaneously relax at your warmth, arms sliding around you to bring you into his chest. “Can’t say it’s much better in here.”

“Don’t care.” He says, tucking his head into your shoulder, finally feeling himself breath. “I just want to be with you.”

You wake up next morning to the sounds of your friends, the chittering of birds, and the sunlight streaming through your tent.

“-haven’t seen Jake.”

“Maybe he went to piss in the middle of the night and got lost and eaten by a bear.” You can hear Bradley say.

Horrors dawns on you as you realize they’re looking for Jake, who obviously isn’t in his own tent as he’s clinging to you, deep in sleep and tucked into your shoulder.

“Shit.” You whisper. “Shit shit shit. Fuck, Jake, wake up.” You push his shoulder but all he does is groan, tugging you closer to him. “No, no, fuck Jake, wake up. They’re looking for you. Fuck, our friends are gonna find out. Jake-”

A shadow appears in front of the opening of your tent as they bend down to unzip it. You feel like you can’t breathe as it reveals Javy, the boy already talking.

“Hey, sorry to wake you. We can’t find Jake and I’m starting to- oh.” You grimace as a grin grows on his face. He turns, shouting behind him. “Never mind, I found him!”

A full-belly laugh sounds as Bradley peaks over Javy’s shoulder. “Oh, you’re kidding. Oh my God, fucking finally!” He shouts, laughing as he talks. Jake finally stirs at that, letting one hand go of you as he reaches behind you for one of your shoes. Once he finds it, he chucks it behind him, wildly missing.

Nat snorts. “Nice aim, Seresin.”

“Fuck off!” He groans, finally turning to face the group crowded around. “You people-” He says, pointing between Reuben and Bradley, “-kept me up all goddamn night so the least you can do is let me enjoy the morning in peace with my girl.”

“His girl.” Bob repeats, an amused smile on his face.

“Yes, Bobby. My girl. We’ve been dating since Thanksgiving and we can talk about it later but please go away.”

Javy throws his hands up in mock defeat before tugging the zipper close.

Jake tucks himself back into you, hiding his face in your shoulder.

“You’re not usually so grumpy in the mornings.” You whisper.

Jake likes slow mornings. He likes getting to spend hours in bed with you, cuddling and taking you apart over and over again before pulling you from bed and making breakfast with you in the kitchen, a full spread. He likes the slowness, the quiet, a luxury he’s not usually afforded during the season. He’s sweet and sleepy and you think that you could love him most in those morning moments.

He doesn’t respond, already falling back asleep against you. You wish you could sleep too, but you’re too awake and have never slept well on the floor of a tent, the ground lumpy beneath you.

It does mean, however, that you get to hear Bob smugly announce to the group that they all owe him money.

#jake hangman seresin #jake hangman seresin x reader #jake hangman seresin fic #second star to the right (and straight on 'til morning)

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novelizt · 6 months

Text

✨ IT'S BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ✨

📸 1989 TV SONGFIC COLLECTION INCLUDING :

tim drake, draco malfoy, peter parker, gojo satoru, percy jackson, anthony lockwood

❗Unfinished prompts are subject to change. Fics with no hyperlinks are coming soon!

📷 TRACK 1 : Welcome To New York

“ IT'S BEEN WAITING FOR YOU ” — TIM DRAKE

you start life at the big apple and unexpectedly meet a fortune teller who informs you of the name of your future husband. you try not to think too hard about it, but it's difficult. considering your boss has the same name as your future husband.

📷 TRACK 2 : Blank Space

“ DON'T SAY I DIDN'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU ” — DRACO MALFOY

you act like a devil to get your husband to divorce you. only to discover that pushing him away only makes him hold on tighter.

📷 TRACK 3 : Style

“ WE NEVER GO OUT OF STYLE ” — TIM DRAKE

wayne enterprise heir x stark industries heiress

rivals in public, lovers in secret ; two heirs have an explicit arrangement because they can't risk their public image with anyone else.

📷 TRACK 4 : Out Of The Woods

“ WE WERE IN SCREAMING COLORS ” — ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

you think you're hard to love, but he loves you like it's breathing.

📷 TRACK 5 : All You Had To Do Was Stay

“ ALL YOU HAD TO DO WAS STAY ” — DRACO MALFOY

you and draco meet again after he had ignored you years before. he wants to tell you why he'd left but he doesn't know how you'd react to him being a criminal.

📷 TRACK 6 : Shake It Off

“ PLAYERS GONNA PLAY ” — GOJO SATORU

it's embarrassing to know that the rumors about you reach other schools. one faithful day, gojo satoru gives you unsolicited advice about doing the shit you want because you'd get hate whether or not you'd do it anyway. a bottle of wine later, and you begin to think he's right.

📷 TRACK 7 : I Wish You Would

“ I WISH YOU WOULD ” — PETER PARKER

your long-time friendship with peter had gone sour. after years of trying to put you behind bars, peter tries to save you from kraven, but you're not sure if you can trust him anymore.

“ I WISH WE COULD GO BACK AND REMEMBER WHAT WE WERE FIGHTING FOR ” — ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

PEERING EYES OVER WROUGHT-IRON FENCES

📷 TRACK 8 : Bad Blood

“ STILL GOT THE SCARS ON MY BACK FROM YOUR KNIFE ” — DRACO MALFOY

turning from childhood friends to enemies, and then learning to tolerate each other after the war is a storm waiting to happen. especially when he had tried to kill you and failed.

📷 TRACK 9 : Wildest Dreams

“ SAY YOU'LL REMEMBER ME ” — PERCY JACKSON

you and percy agree to only see each other for the summer but as august draws to a close, it gets harder and harder to untangle your fingers from his.

📷 TRACK 10 : How You Get The Girl

“ FOR WORSE OR FOR BETTER ” — PERCY JACKSON

hitman! percy

percy is hired to kill an important man in singapore, not expecting to meet and fall for his target's daughter.

📷 TRACK 11 : This Love

“ THIS LOVE CAME BACK TO ME ” — ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

you're back in town. as promised, lockwood welcomes you with open arms. the only difficulty was the fact that you kissed the last time you saw each other.

📷 TRACK 12 : I Know Places

“ I KNOW PLACES ” — PETER PARKER

marvel x pjo crossover ; daughter of athena! reader

peter's only trying to protect you but you're more scared of him than you are of the monsters coming after you.

📷 TRACK 13 : Clean

“ I THINK I AM FINALLY CLEAN ” — ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

lockwood was cursed to be alone. you prove that your love can break curses.

📷 TRACK 14 : Wonderland

“ YOU AND I GOT LOST IN IT ” — TIM DRAKE

you and tim are thrown into wonderland by mad mod. the line between fantasy and reality blur; now, tim stares at you like he wishes you weren't enemies.

“ IT'S ALL FUN AND GAMES 'TIL SOMEBODY LOSES THEIR MIND ” — ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

fantasy au!

you were a princess and you liked to dress in gold. one day, you're snatched by a dragon. come to find out that the dragon is a shape-shifting boy who thought you were a statue.

📷 TRACK 15 : You Are In Love

“ TRYING TO PUT IT INTO WORDS ” — TIM DRAKE

it's hard to find the right words to explain why you love tim.

📷 TRACK 16 : New Romantics

“ I CAN BUILD A CASTLE OUT OF ALL THE BRICKS THEY THROW AT ME ” — ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

you recruit the daring anthony lockwood to stage a relationship that will rile up the press.

— FROM THE VAULT !!

📷 TRACK 17 : "SLUT!"

“ LOVELORN AND NOBODY KNOWS ” — PETER PARKER

a publication comes out, announcing that your hero selves are dating. now, you and peter have to distance yourselves because one, mary jane watson—renowned journalist, has been suspecting you of having an alter ego.

“ IN A WORLD OF BOYS, HE'S A GENTLEMAN ” — ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

lockwood is tasked with the important task of protecting a foreign princess, you. you discovered that you liked his boyish charms more than expected.

📷 TRACK 18 : Now That We Don't Talk

“ THE MORE I GAVE, YOU'D WANT ME LESS ” — CHILDE

how bad can it be, to sleep with the enemy?

📷 TRACK 19 : Say Don't Go

“ I'M YOURS, BUT YOU'RE NOT MINE ” — ANTHONY LOCKWOOD

fantasy au!

you are the heir to the throne, soon to be coronated. he is your loyal guard. when repressed feelings come bubbling to the surface, it's hard to keep away. except, he has to, because a prince should be standing next to you, not him.

📷 TRACK 20 : Suburban Legends

“ BORN TO BE SUBURBAN LEGENDS ” — PETER PARKER

you became strangers when you thought you'd spend your whole lives together. one faithful day, peter gets sucked into an old polaroid picture, returning to the day it was taken; your 18th birthday.

📷 TRACK 21 : Is It Over Now?

“ FAST FORWARD TO 300 TAKEOUT COFFEES LATER ” — PETER PARKER

you and peter agreed to stop whatever was happening between you two for his sake. it wasn't good to date your employer's daughter, after all. the task wasn't easy when you work at the same place.

📷 HIDDEN TRACK : Sweeter Than Fiction

“ PROVED ME RIGHT WHEN YOU PROVED THEM WRONG ” — PETER PARKER

a lot of people had a lot to say about peter when his identity was revealed. he revered how you stuck by his side through all of that, even if all you did was run a fan account.

Feel free to message me if you want to be tagged in a certain fic 😊 I'm open to just squealing about our boys and/or Taylor Swift !!

🦋 — @novelizt 2023

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izzyhandswhore · 6 months

Note

How do you think Izzy would react if his s/o was injured? Especially if it was something bad

Izzy with an injured s/o

We’re gonna say you got injured during a raid in this instance.

• Izzy’s at your side the second you hit the deck. His first response is complete rage. Whoever hurt you gets swiftly brutalised on the spot before they even realise what’s happening and their death is swift but certainly not painless. There’s no witty one-liner, no grand declaration of vengeance, just a scream of pain and a wet thud as they hit the floor.

• You’re vaguely aware of Izzy barking orders to the crew as he drags your bleeding body away. You don’t see the pure worry in his eyes every time he glances down to make sure he’s not dragging a corpse. When he finally gets you somewhere safe that worry turns to anger again.

• “You stupid prick! How the fuck have you managed that?!” He’s growling at you, but he’s also taking off his waistcoat to pillow your head and being as gentle as he can as he identifies and assesses your injuries. Once the initial adrenaline dies down, he softens just a bit and starts to reassure you that you’re going to be alright. He’s not sure if you are, the damage seems pretty bad, but he insists anyway. You have to be alright. You have to.

• “Alright, sweetheart, okay.. Sh- Just calm down and let me see. Just let me look, you’re gonna be fine. Stop whinging.”

• You can see the panic start to come over him when he realises just how bad it is. He turns and starts screaming for Ed and Roach and just about anyone else that he trusts to help you. Between each increasingly desperate cry he still hushes you and strokes back your blood-slicked hair and keeps pressure anywhere that’s bleeding. He also keeps telling you off occasionally. He can’t help it.

• The next bit’s a bit of a blur (you mostly remember pain as your body’s carried somewhere again and Izzy threatening to kill you if you dared fall asleep) but the next thing you know you’re on Roach’s table. He’s explaining to Izzy that you’ll need stitches and such but he’s not listening. “I don’t give a fuck what you need to do, just do it!” He growls, turning his attention back to you.

• Obviously things have to get much more painful before they can start to get better. Izzy gives you something to bite down on and tries his best to soothe you.. But of course that’s not his fortè. He gets Ed to help him hold you still and tells you over and over again that he knows it hurts and he’s sorry. He’s so fucking sorry. Eventually his voice cracks and tears spring to his eyes before he can stop it. Even through tears though, he dutifully holds your hand and keeps up his reassurances.

• Clichè, obviously, but of course he’s right there at your bedside when you wake up the next day. He’s got a very stern look on his face and grunts something like, “finally decided to join us, have you? Made a right mess of yourself..”

• He’s not fooling anyone. You remember him crying and Ed and Roach certainly won’t let him live down just how panicked he was over you. He’ll tell you to fuck off at every given opportunity but of course he nurses you back to health, even when you gently point out that that’s not his job and doesn’t have to.

• When you’re well enough to have him back in your bed he holds you like he’s scared you’ll break. He pets your hair so, so gently, kisses your forehead and finally admits how scared he was.

• “Don’t you ever fucking do that to me again, d’you hear me? You don’t die ‘til I say so.”

#ofmd #our flag means death #izzy hands #izzy hands x reader

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gasolinerainbowpuddles · 3 months

Text

'Til Death Do Us Part║ ⓛⓘⓜⓘⓣⓔⓓ ⓢⓔⓡⓘⓔⓢ

| 'Til Death Do Us Part | fourth and final part of the Whistle in the Dark limited series ║ series masterlist ║ main masterlist ║ | PAIRING(s): Joel Miller x married!fem!OC

| RATING: explicit material | 18+ | WORD COUNT: 20.2k 👀 | CONTENT: Dead Dove Do Not Eat, deranged Horny Demon Hours shit, cuckolding!, erotic gore, feticide/miscarriage, acts of service: extreme mode, bodily fluids in places they shouldn’t be, torture, brutality, inappropriate use of handheld tools, mental manipulation through violence, menstruation-centered erotic acts, cumplay?, kidnapping, the vibe of the pottery wheel scene from Ghost except violent, discussions of verbal/emotional/physical abuse, so much blood from multiple people, bloodplay, lots of things with a knife, WHAT!TOWN?!Joel

| SYNOPSIS: The tangled web of Matthew's deceit and manipulation have ensnared you and crafted a dismal end.

Please be aware that this installment in particular might be potentially triggering for SA/DV survivors who have dealt with the legal system and its many, many failings for the most vulnerable populations. Please read with care. 💜

You hear the dull rumblings of voices. The cadences vary from deep to soft to rushed and even some hazy amalgamation of all those things. Your head is pounding. Everything sounds like you’re underwater. Your lungs hurt like you’re underwater, too, like you’ve been submerged too long and haven’t taken a proper breath in ages. You’re stiff. You’re sore.

You’re alive.

The voices are becoming clearer - or maybe just louder - as they try to speak over one another. You can make out the sound of someone’s pitched, anxious whispering before a flurry of responses –

“ —don’t give a flyin’ FUCK what any of ‘em hafta say.” “—protocol that can’t just be ignored.” “—obviously not what’s goin’ on here, Joel.”

Your head is throbbing with indecision over whether or not you want to try moving a limb. You manage a twitch of your fingers on your nondominant hand. That goes okay, so you chance some movement from the wrist up. Instant stiffness and discomfort. You whimper. The voices continue.

“—takin’ the law into your own hands–”

“—fuckin’ makeshift town at the end of the world. Ain’t no fuckin’ laws anymore, Tommy.”

“—always been a weak spot for you, Joel.”

The overhead lights sear your vision when you finally work up the strength to open your eyes. The blinding rush acts as some sort of sensory accelerant, a deluge of sensations hitting you from all sides at once now. Almost all of it is painful and prickling. Your eyes snap shut. You’re hyper aware of the fabric laying against your skin, rubbing and gritting against you even though you are still. The dull, tired thrum of your heart beats in time to some lost song. The escalating volume and tension of the argument happening at the end of your bed – what you assume is a bed, anyway – makes your head feel worse.

Sound comes easier and clearer from one side of your head, the side that Matthew didn’t pummel.

Matthew.

Nebulous recollections leap into your consciousness, sharp and clear. The memory of him striking you makes you jerk. His taunts, his promises of your death and possibly his own if things didn’t go his way…

Matthew was going to kill you and then probably himself, all while Joel watched. The stimulus to cry comes over you, but no tears come. Exhaustion won’t allow it.

You hear a voice directly above you. “Baby?” It’s Joel, but he sounds off. He sounds worried. But Joel didn’t worry. That wasn’t like him. He just handled whatever came his way and moved on. This antsy, apprehensive voice belonged to a different Joel.

The sticky accumulation of grime and dried spit made it hard to move your mouth to respond. You wince at something wet and warm being gently dabbed against your lips.

“Hold still, honey. Just a minute now,” he soothes.

You peel your eyes open with immense effort and wait for the blurred shapes to come into focus.

Tommy. Maria. Joel.

Hushed, sniping whispers shoot back and forth. You blink away the haze and take in your surroundings. It looks like the clinic. If you had any energy left for humor, you’d laugh at the irony of it all. The last time you were here was when you and Joel were treated for injuries you sustained on patrol together. It was the same day you’d walked home after being patched up only to discover Matthew and Natalie together in your bed. Your thoughts turn to ruminations of how this could’ve been avoided if you’d just told everyone the truth about Matthew right then and there. Maybe none of this would’ve happened. Maybe you wouldn’t have put people’s lives in danger.

“M’sorry,” you wheeze. It hurts to talk. You wonder how long you’ve been out.

“Don’t you dare,” Joel warns, stern and unwavering.

“Take it easy,” Maria calmly suggests. You aren’t sure if she means you or Joel. Probably both.

“Been through the wringer,” Tommy adds quietly. “No need to push yourself too much.”

You move your moistened lips back and forth a few times to prime yourself for speaking. “Where is he?”

The room is quiet as if they were all hoping it would take longer for you to arrive at that question.

“He can’t hurt you,” Joel insists. “Locked up. Can’t hurt nobody. Not anymore.”

“He’s being held at the correctional center until a clear narrative of what happened can be established,” Maria supplies, sounding almost clumsy in her terse delivery.

“He-He came into—was too fast–couldn’t–”

Your explanation is cut off with a cough. Your mouth is scratchy and dry. Joel helps you to sit up straighter, drawing a hissing groan of pain from you, and tilts a cup of what you assume is water onto your lips. You gently sip in small increments.

“How long?” Your voice is thick with sleep and pain.

“Been here a few days is all,” Tommy answers. “Been comin’ and goin’ but mostly just sleepin’. Got you some medicine onboard to help with it all. Been worried. ‘Specially this one.” He juts his chin towards Joel, who scowls in their general direction.

You’d grimace if you could stand the discomfort of it. You’d roped Joel into your bullshit just like you’d dreaded. Your mind warpspeed shifts to Ellie. Ellie. You startle in your weakened state. Joel seems to understand.

“She’s okay. Knew somethin’ was up before she even made it through the door. Smart kid.”

A heavy sigh of relief escapes you. With the situation as dire as it had been - and still is - Matthew only managing to harm you was the best case scenario. You maintain a neutral face as Joel fills in the blank spots in your memory. How Ellie had come back home to gather some clothes for her sleepover. How she’d felt something was off when she sensed the unnatural stillness of the house. How she spotted Matthew hovering over your unconscious body and thought he’d killed you.

Your heart wrenches at the thought of her seeing you like that. Ellie didn’t deserve this. She didn’t ask for this. You’d brought pain onto her and Joel both. As Joel recounts how she’d run to Tommy’s for help, your lungs feel like they’ve shrunk. Apparently Matthew had been taken by surprise at her appearance, forgetting that she even lived there.

Leaders in the community spoke with Tommy. Spoke with Ellie. Even spoke with Joel and Natalie’s dad, after it came to light that Joel had sparked something in this entire collapse. Matthew had scrambled like a coward once Ellie outpaced him and went running for help. He was apprehended within the hour, and you were whisked away to the clinic even sooner.

Ellie showing up to get those clothes had probably saved your life. Your stomach gnaws and shreds itself with that piece of knowledge. This is exactly the sort of thing you’d wanted to avoid, and here you’d put so many through so much unnecessary hurt in such a short span of time.

Your stomach only felt all the more gutted as you listened to Tommy and Maria explain that interviews had been going on all while you’d been unconscious and Matthew had been in a retaining cell. Several of Matthew’s “conquests” had heard of all the news with his newly pregnant partner and the inappropriate conduct with a minor. They’d been called upon to share their testimony as to whether or not Matthew had ever suggested or carried out violent and abusive behavior towards them. They all truthfully attested that he had never been anything of the sort.

Joel shot Maria a nasty look when she volunteered the information about a few of them floating the idea that you had probably injured yourself and somehow lured Matthew to talk with you so that you could claim he’d done all this damage to you.

An idea that you were so desperate for revenge and to ruin his life that you would concoct an elaborate sort of story where such a thing would’ve happened. It was just the natural outflow of the groundwork he’d laid over the weeks about how you were supposedly physically aggressive, how you’d put hands on him before, how you weren’t the same person behind closed doors, how he’d finally put his foot down and left you.

It wasn’t just the town gossip Angelica that had been feasting on the morsels of lies that Matthew had been steadily feeding to sources that were sure to pass along such salacious information. Unfortunately for you, Matthew had always been a manipulative smooth talker, always ten steps ahead of you. He’d been setting the stage for this sort of situation, smart enough to assume at least a few of his past lover’s responses to the questions would lean towards this bastardization of events. So before anyone had even testified yet, he’d already fed the story to the leadership council. He fabricated some story about how you’d asked him to talk, and he felt sorry enough for you to agree to it.

Joel tries to shut the conversation down when he sees the tears brimming along your lashline, but you shake your head and insist on hearing it all. You have to know what you’re up against, and as Maria continues, you realize just how much of a monster you’re facing.

As it stands, his account of events is the sole firsthand statement on the situation, and it’s just as pernicious and artful as you would anticipate from a man like him. By his version of things, you’d begged him to talk to him, and he’d pitied you enough to oblige, meeting at Joel’s house as planned. When he came upstairs to find you, he discovered your intentional, self-inflicted injuries along with an already disrupted room, all meant to signal a struggle had taken place. You’d taunted him for walking right into your trap, insisting that Joel would be home soon and would react to protect you once he saw the scene you’d created. You’d laughed in his face about Joel fighting for your honor, willing to kill to protect you. All of it an elaborate ruse you’d arranged just so you could physically assault him and threaten his life.

He’d enacted just enough self-defense to prevent you from fatally attacking him, avoiding your blows whenever possible because he didn’t want to fight back and hurt you somehow in the process even though it would’ve been in his right to do so. Ellie’s surprise appearance was “an intervention from the Lord above,” or so he’d thought at the time. When she discovered him standing calmly over your unmoving body, he realized she’d fallen right into your plan as well, running off thinking he’d been the perpetrator in all of this. Fearing that she was running to find Joel and bring him back to the house - just what your masterplan had been all along - he’d fled.

He didn’t deny the large kitchen knife he’d had on his person in the house, claiming he’d gone to grab it at some point when he’d finally managed to subdue your attacks. It was the only self-defense he had if you woke up and started attacking him again. His entire narrative was one of self-defense, of fearing for his life, of fleeing on foot once he feared either Joel or his brother Tommy were going to return with Ellie and retaliate for the perceived attack.

You feel frozen to the spot as you listen. The icy sense of dread crept through your veins as it all sunk in.

The boxes from unpacking had been strewn about and a mess as you’d tried to work through them. Coupled with the upturned items in the bedroom, it presented a space in disarray. It backed up his version of events.

His body was riddled with defensive wounds from his fight with Natalie’s dad. Even with the word from John that he had in fact had a physical altercation with Matthew, it made it impossible to determine when and where his injuries had been sustained since no one else had seen Matthew between that encounter and his encounter with you. It backed up his version of events.

For all the ways he’d wronged you, he’d shown love and tenderness to a constellation of lovers, all of whom had truthfully testified that he had never once laid a hand on them, been verbally aggressive, or shown a hint of a temper. It backed up his version of events.

Your history of coming from a violent upbringing, of how you’d grown up in a world where it was normalized, was perhaps the source of your “continuation of that cycle” simply because “you’d never known anything else.” It was a particularly cold-hearted blow, and it backed up his version of events.

The knife in his hand, the weapon for his own protection if he were put in a dire spot because of your insistence on physically assaulting him, could’ve easily been used to murder you. But he didn’t. He’d had plenty of time to do it if that had been his intent, so why was he instead just “hanging around”? Why, if he had gone there to assault and murder you, hadn’t he just done it? It backed up his version of events.

He was not striking you, harming you, or aggressively engaging with you in any way when Ellie came home. She’d only seen him calmly waiting with your unconscious form. Her insistence that “it obviously didn’t seem right” fell on deaf ears. She’d only been telling the truth when she testified that she didn’t personally witness any attacks from either party. It backed up his version of events.

With a “beautiful baby on the way” and the path to “finally making decisions for a better life,” the legitimacy of his motive was questionable at best. You on the other hand had been left “bitter and jilted” by his decision to break things off and move on with someone else. He had everything to live for, everything going for him. You’d lost everything and been “left behind.” It backed up his version of events.

Each intricate, sinister lie entwined delicately into the next, so well explained and proactively contradicting to your version of events - the truth. Each fictitious strand clung to the next until a tapestry of deception had been woven, blanketing any hope you’d ever have in refuting each of the claims. He’d gotten ahead of the narrative, all because you were drifting in and out of consciousness from the battered state he’d put you into, no less.

He’d already won. He’d already won, and you hadn’t even had a chance to speak a word of truth.

The strict orders from medical staff to “take it slow” were laughable. A handful of residents were calling for your own stint in a retaining cell until all the investigation had been completed. That handful grew over the next several days while the council continued gathering all the information about the situation, getting witness accounts starting from when you got back from the patrol trip. It was a lot of information to go through and determine what was true and what wasn’t, what was embellished or glossed over.

You never strayed from the truth when you gave your piece to the Council, but it felt like it didn’t even matter. It had already been whittled down to a “he said, she said” situation. You wanted so badly to keep the faith that Council was simply doing their due diligence in getting all the facts prior to making such a huge decision as whether or not Matthew would be asked to leave Jackson…. or perhaps you. After you’d been placed on house arrest in lieu of a retaining cell - thanks to Maria’s shrewd intervention - you knew you’d truly lost.

It didn’t matter that Maria had convinced them – lied on your behalf — that you weren’t medically stable enough for the holding cells and would require frequent medical supervision. It didn’t matter that she’d gently coached you on the importance of delivering your official testimony without the visual of Joel next to you. It didn’t matter how she’d pressed the importance of not reacting to anything too abruptly unless you wanted to paint yourself as the violent, volatile assailant that Matthew had claimed you were.

None of it mattered. You’d been abused for so long. You’d been through hell with Matthew. You’d lost so much. He humiliated you. He beat you. He intended to take your life that day. And yet, here you were, sat in the same room with said man who looked deceptively forlorn and stressed. You had to watch and calculate every action and reaction of yours today so that you were a believable victim, a credible picture of a woman wronged, the embodiment of the innocent hostage to an opportunistic man. Nevermind the fact that the man in question had nearly killed you and would attempt it again if given the right opportunity and was only a glance away from you this very moment.

There wasn't a large number of people present for the hearings. The town Council. Founding residents. Longtime respected pillars within the community. All were called upon to hear your official testimonies of your version of events. Matthew went first. He tucked his body into itself, looking smaller and more unsure. He didn’t look at you. You couldn’t look away.

“I-I was trying to do the right thing, is wh-what I thought. Ya know, talk to her even though I knew she wasn’t too happy about me ending our relationship,” he sniffs pathetically. “I just.. I didn’t think, even after all she’d done to me, I didn’t think she’d do this. I mean, the whole set up. Framing me? Trying to trap me into a place where I’d lose everything because - I don’t even know - I guess that’s what she felt I’d done to her?”

He shakes his head and laughs humorlessly at his hands that he fidgets back and forth nonstop. All a carefully curated and executed display from a master manipulator.

“I’m not gonna sit here and say I’m proud for all my actions. I know messing around with somebody who’s close to 18 doesn’t mean they’re an adult yet. She was the only one I’d ever — I never went after somebody just because they were younger. It was a stupid, stupid decision. I was just– I was just so lonely.”

He rakes a hand through his hair, mouth opening and closing like he can’t quite believe things had “gone this far.” When he shifts in his seat, you notice several others in the room readjust their own posture, maybe out of discomfort or maybe just subconsciously mirroring Matthew’s body language. You keep your teeth clamped together to stop from worrying your lip so hard it bleeds.

“After all the constant verbal takedowns and abuse from her—” he glances your direction for only a moment, just long enough for others to follow his line of sight and see he is talking about you, to you “—I was just broken. I-I wasn’t even myself anymore. I started making choices that aren’t me. I started getting with any woman who’d have my company. I was desperate for it. Desperate for anything other than the hell that was waiting for me at home.”

He shakes his head again, producing big tears to gather and fall down his face. He hitches his breath and sniffs louder now.

“I made bad choices, and I own up to those. But the idea that after finally being man enough to leave that type of situation…. To finally make a home and start a family with somebody who loves me and cares for me… It just doesn’t make sense. Why would I throw all that away? What, because she was with someone else? Of course not!” he laughs in that same humorless way again.

“I just only hoped he wasn’t gonna get it bad like I did all those years. I hoped and prayed she’d find peace with him - with anyone. If she could find some peace, maybe she wouldn’t need to do all of that, you know? To find whatever it is that she’s looking for, because god knows I’m not it.”

He pauses to wipe the palm of his hand roughly against his cheeks to clear away his tears. “I wished for so long to be able to be the guy to help her. I didn’t know why I wasn’t enough, I just knew that I never was.” He hangs his head in his hands for a moment before looking upward as though seeking divine guidance.

“I just ask that the council please take into consideration her upbringing. The day I met her, she was getting beat to death by her own damn flesh and bone. Her father and brother were set to kill her. Can you even imagine that? That type of evil? How can someone coming from that know any better? She needs help. She doesn’t need to be kicked out of this place. I know what she’s done is horrible, but please, if there’s anything that can be done to-to, I don’t know- to rehabilitate her or therapy or something. Please don’t send her out those gates to die. Please. I may have decided to break things off with her, but I still care for that woman so deeply. Please.”

You feel close to retching. He’s made a strong case for himself all while casting a shadow of doubt and fault in your direction. You can feel the eyes of every Jackson resident called to attend the hearing falling squarely on you, but you can’t bring yourself to look at them anymore. What if you don’t convey the right emotion? What if your efforts to not empty the contents of your stomach onto the floor right now somehow read as guilt or remorse? What if your nerves and body language and facial expression and sounds and posture are interpreted as some admission of wrongdoing?

You can’t stare at your hands any longer if you want to avoid appearing like you’re hanging your head in defeat or regret or fault, so you settle for pushing through the queasiness and scanning the faces of the Council in front of you. A few faces remain stony or neutral, but just as many if not more have softened or, worse, looked away from Matthew at the discomfort of seeing a grown man weeping so openly. If it isn’t seen as an authentic act, that would have to mean he was some brutal, manipulative monster to fake such a moving display of grief and pain - a monster they’d allowed to live right under their noses this whole entire time. Admitting that’s who he really was would be in part admitting their own fault at not keeping Jackson safe.

The lie is working.

Midday break is called, and the air in the room feels like every particle of oxygen is dampened and weighted with the inevitability of your downfall. Matthew was going to walk away from this situation unscathed, and then he was going to kill you.

You just have to sit and wait for him to kill you.

The tremble in your hands is such that you can’t get a firm enough grip on the doorknob to get into the private adjunct room where you’d be spending break. Ellie reaches around you and turns it quickly, giving you a gentle nudge inside with Joel following closely behind. The door is no sooner shut than you double over a bin and start heaving. Joel doesn’t make a face or comment on the odor. He just helps you get straightened up before taking out the soiled container. The smell of your ruination lingers as you collapse into a nearby chair and break into sobs.

Joel returns with food you can’t imagine stomaching and water you reluctantly sip. He doesn’t speak, just pulls you close against him.

“He’s gonna kill me, Joel,” you shake out. “They believe him. He’s gonna walk away from this, and then he’s gonna kill me.” The last few words dissipate into a hitched octave, full of fear and defeat.

“No he ain’t,” Joel corrects sternly. You can only shake your head and cry, at a loss for words in this surreal situation.

“They can’t actually be buying that story!” Ellie argues. “Nobody would believe that shit! Right, Joel?”

When Joel doesn’t rush to corroborate her assessment, Ellie seems to deflate a bit. “You-you’re not serious. People think he’s innocent?”

Her tone of comprehensive disbelief is as fitting now as ever. You can’t believe this is happening, but at the same time you also know deep down this was always the only way this would go.

“We know the truth, Ellie,” Joel sighs. “People are weak. If there’s anything I’ve learned in my life, it’s that you can’t count on people to do the right thing.” He finally pulls back to look at you. Your face crumples when you catch his apologetic expression. He’s as powerless in this situation as you are.

“But what about all those times she saved your life on patrol? And taking up for everybody’s shifts and covering people’s asses? How the fuck is that a bad person? Somebody that would plan something awful like that? Like, what? There’s no fucking way!” she sputters.

You blink unfocused at the floor, unsure of what to say or do. You want to comfort Ellie, but you don’t want to lie or get her hopes up. You know how this story ends.

“I don’t even give a shit if you did do something bad to him. Fuck it! I don’t believe him. I believe you. And he deserves every bit of what he gets, and then some!” Ellie asserts in a passionate appeal.

Despite everything, you smile to yourself. Ellie and Joel might not be blood, but they are certainly family in the way that it counts. And these two staunch supporters were in your corner, so you must be doing at least one thing right.

Joel cups your face in his hands and directs your attention to him, all fiery eyes and steely expression. “No one is going to hurt you. He’s not going to hurt you.”

He says it with such firmness and conviction, you want to believe him. You brush away the fat tears slipping down the curve of your cheek. It’s silent again in the room, and Joel goes back to just sitting with you and holding you. He’s quiet and a little detached. It’s probably for the best. If he starts distancing himself now, it might make it easier on everyone when this too good to be true dynamic comes to an end.

The end of break comes and goes without anyone arriving to collect you for the afternoon session. Ellie points it out, the first person to speak in what seems like forever. Just as Joel starts to get up to see what the delay is, Tommy scoots into the room. He gives you a sympathetic, curt bow of his head and glances at Joel.

“Listen, I think there’s some funny business goin’ on with Matthew. I don’t know exactly what the hold up is, but I’ve seen a few of the higher ups come and go outta his room.”

“What the fuck is that s’posed’ta–” Joel starts as the door opens again.

Maria and another Council member squeeze into the ever shrinking room. It’s one of the members who had looked away while Matthew forced himself to cry. The air feels thinner with all the crowding and news of Matthew’s odd behavior. Somehow you still hold enough space for worry that they will be able to smell the remnants of your vomit from earlier.

“Alright, folks, sorry for the delay. Looks like we’re gonna pick up tomorrow morning from where we left off today. The, uh, other party isn’t in much condition right now to carry on, so we’re gonna adjourn for right now,” the Council member explains.

You don’t even have to turn to Joel to know his nostrils are flared and fists clenched. No one says anything, and the palpable tension in the room hangs awkwardly in the space.

“He put forth a request for additional time to collect himself after the ‘emotionally draining’ testimony that was given this morning. Given his disposition we all saw and the fact that it’s not our intent to put anyone into a position of distress during this process, Council has granted his request on a one-time basis,” Maria adds.

You bite back a scathing remark. You have been nothing but distressed. You just didn’t have the luxury of letting your emotions run wild lest you portray yourself as some volatile, unstable person - the type of person who would do all the things Matthew has charged you with. You can’t afford the negative attention that a big show of emotion would likely garner, so you just do all that you can: keep it calm and keep it moving.

You wish that you’d been able to get the first word. You wish you’d been able to get ahead of the narrative so that it benefited you - benefitted the truth. You wish that you could also be seen as brave and raw and moving if you cried in front of everyone. But Matthew had got the drop on you and delivered his “authentic devastation” to a panel of sympathetic ears. His inability to control his emotions was not a point of instability or weakness in their consideration like it might be if the roles were reversed.

Maria catches your eye. Her frown morphs into a tight lipped line, like she wants to say something to you but can’t. She looks at Joel for a moment before focusing on her counterpart.

Tommy clears his throat to dispel some of the charged climate. “Alright. Thanks for lettin’ us know. You need any help gettin’ him back to the retainer, Cliff?”

The Council member shakes his head. “Appreciate you offering, but I think they got it handled. He’s pretty out of sorts at the moment. Don’t think it’ll be much trouble getting him back.”

Tommy nods an acknowledgment and turns to Maria. “I’ll see to it she gets back to the house.” He tips his head your direction. Maria gives a quick thanks and heads out behind the other Council member, giving a tepid, short goodbye.

The walk back to Joel’s house is a disjointed, hazy blur. You’re inside, although you don’t have a clear notion of when that happened. Joel helps you out of your jacket as you stare blankly ahead. You hear Tommy murmur something to Joel that sounds something like “she alright?”

“Hey.” Joel’s voice is grounding and firm. You blink a few times and lock eyes. He’s grasping your arms like he’s holding you up. He might be. You’re not entirely sure at the moment. Every ounce of energy has been zapped from you. It all feels like a waking nightmare.

Low words are exchanged, and Ellie leaves the three of you in the kitchen. You settle clumsily into one of the chairs at the table and rest your head in your propped up arms. Joel and Tommy continue a conversation you drift in and out of.

“Considering he’s goin’ back to a retaining cell, there’s not a whole lotta reason people are gonna find to assume he’s just fakin’ it all. Ain’t the most lavish of places ‘n all that. Council meeting space is a lot more comfortable than that, so ya can’t say he’d be in some big rush to get back there,” Tommy reasons.

“Piece of shit just wants everybody to sit with his bullshit statements from this mornin’. Sleep on it and get his lies all embedded in their heads,” Joel scoffs.

“I don’t doubt that,” Tommy agrees gently. “I’m just sayin’ that you gotta keep in mind how things look, is all.”

“Are they going to ask me about his testimony?” you rasp.

The two brothers turn to you in sync. Joel is the first to pull a chair up next to yours. Tommy opts to stand at the end of the table with one hand mindlessly picking at the tablecloth.

“What do you mean, honey?” Joel asks softly.

“He talked about stuff. Today. And if I’m supposed to… defend myself, or whatever, I just– I want to know what sort of questions they’re going to ask me,” you explain.

Tommy and Joel exchange a look. You lick your dry lips and force the words out.

“Am I– Do I have to talk about my–about my dad and brother?” you choke out in a whisper.

Tommy scratches the back of his neck and looks away in much the same way as others had done to Matthew this morning when the discomfiting outpouring was too much. “I, uh, I reckon they might wanna follow up on some of what he shared, yeah. To get your side of things.” His expression pinches into an uncomfortable frown.

Your face falls when he confirms what you already knew: you were going to have to speak publicly on the most horrendous times in your life, and for no reason other than Matthew had purposefully brought it into the fold. You wrap your arms around yourself and rest your forehead against the table as you begin to cry for the millionth time today.

A strong hand from either side rests on your shoulder and back. Joel rubs small circles while Tommy gives a supportive squeeze. The tears flow freely as your fate comes into the clear. You were never going to be able to pull off being more believable than Matthew. You were never going to be able to remain composed enough to make it through this. Matthew was going to win, and then he was going to kill you.

“We’re gonna figure somethin’ out. I promise you that,” Joel vows.

“I can have Maria come by later to get a better idea of what we’re workin’ with exactly come tomorrow mornin’,” Tommy adds.

Joel pulls you against his side and wraps his arms around you. “Do you trust me?”

You blubber that you do, but it’s a mess of tears and snot as you try to explain that you’ve underestimated Matthew too many times to not have learned your lesson by now.

“Not this time,” Joel disagrees. “We’re gonna stay a step ahead of him. No matter what.”

You let him herd you into the bedroom that he’s completely rearranged so you’re not reminded of what happened here not that long ago. You’re sure Matthew prides himself on leaving you with that particular mental scar, the sacred comfort of you and Joel’s shared bedroom now tainted with memories of one of the scariest moments of your life. Joel had offered to move you both into the guest bedroom across the hall, but you declined. It felt like giving in, giving Matthew another win.

Now you aren’t so sure it really matters.

You settle into the cold bed, trying your best to focus on the scent of Joel on the sheets, and let your eyes flutter shut when he presses small kisses to your temple before going back downstairs to talk with Tommy.

The mellow sunlight filtering through the window suggests you slept longer than intended. Your muscles are sore. Your movements are stiff. How long had you been asleep? The whole hearing process must’ve truly exhausted you. Surely Joel would’ve woken you up if Maria had already arrived.

The smell of eggs wafting up the stairs leads you to the curious sight of breakfast on the table. Panic sets in once you register that you not only slept through the afternoon and the entire night, but you’d also missed Maria’s visit and advice. You hadn’t prepped at all. Joel assures you he’s got it covered and asks you to just take a breath and eat something.

You aren’t sure you can eat, but he coaxes you into some bites. He looks exhausted, like he hasn’t slept. He promises you that he talked with Tommy and Maria and feels confident he can lead you in the right direction. You have no choice but to trust him. Ellie stays home today at Joel’s request. You ask how he managed that given how passionate she was yesterday. He shrugs and gives a noncommittal answer. You don’t press him. In all truth, you’re grateful that she won’t be present for today’s proceedings.

Prying eyes follow your every step to the Council building on Main Street. You refuse to meet any of them. You’re ushered by a standoffish attendant into the same small room where you sat for break yesterday and wait to be called into the main room.

You mention to Joel how odd the attendant was acting. He agrees but doesn’t seem all that surprised. Just as you’re getting the sense that Joel isn’t saying everything on his mind, the same Council member from yesterday enters the room.

“Cliff,” Joel greets curtly.

Cliff nods back in lieu of social niceties. “So it seems that Matthew was going through something more than we realized. We have reason to believe that, uh, that he has left Jackson indefinitely.”

Your shock propels you out of your seat. “What?!”

Joel stands quickly beside you and echoes your disbelief. “Who the hell let him leave?!” he thunders.

Cliff puts his hands up, palm side out, as if to allay the sudden uproar. “We’re gathering information as quickly as we can. We were alerted just this morning about all of this.”

“He tried to fuckin’ MURDER HER, and you’re tellin’ me you don’t know where he is?!” Joel bellows at a slowly cowering Cliff.

“We are doing everything within our power to sort this out, and I assure you that you aren’t the only one who is invested in getting to the bottom of this!” Cliff asserts with a put-on bravado.

“How do you know he left? Who let him past the gates? Who saw him?” Joel demands, rounding on Cliff.

“I’m not able to answer every single question you have, Joel,” he sputters. “I already told you this is a fast developing situation, and we’ve only just started piecing things together. It’s best if everyone just keeps a level head, alright?”

Joel doesn’t look much satisfied with Cliff’s offerings. “Keep a level head? KEEP A LEVEL HEAD?”

“Joel!” Maria barks through the door as she rushes in and shuts it behind her. “Enough! You’re so loud I can hear you down the hall!”

“What kinda establishment you got here, huh? Fuckin’ would be murderers just waltzin’ outta their cells as they please and nobody is any the wiser?” he spits.

You wrap a hand around Joel’s arm, and it thankfully seems to calm him a little.

“Joel, she just brought the letter to us a few hours ago. We’re trying to keep a hold of the situation, and you going off isn’t helping,” she chides.

“What letter? Who?” you choke out. You cling to Joel’s arm to steady yourself as the realization that Matthew has escaped starts to sink in.

Maria’s face softens as she turns to you. “Rachel. Rachel Harmon. She discovered a letter on their kitchen table early this morning. It was addressed to her with a portion written to the Council.

“The dipshit stupid enough to get knocked up by that psychopath?” Joel snips.

You give his arm a gentle squeeze. He glances down at you. You give a small shake of your head. Not now. He understands and chews the inside of his cheek against his molars.

Maria shuts her eyes and sighs, exercising some self-control in the charge of Joel’s anger. “His pregnant partner, yes,” she firmly corrects. Her eyes shift back to you. “I know it has been a difficult process, but if you could look at the letter and possibly verify whether it is his handwriting…”

“You manage to fuck up the VERY SIMPLE TASK of not letting a fuckin’ wannabe murderer escape, and now you’re askin’ his latest victim to help you? I don’t fuckin’ think so!” Joel thunders. He puts himself between you and the others.

“With all due respect, Joel, that’s not your decision to make,” Maria snips back in the same level tone as before.

“I’ll look at it,” you agree. Everyone turns to look at you as you stand there, shaking and trying to hold it together. “I can tell you if it’s his or not.”

“No. The reason Rachel can’t verify his handwriting — the fuckin’ father of her baby — is because Rachel doesn’t fuckin’ know him. Nobody does in the entire godforsaken place,” he finishes with a scowl thrown towards Maria and Cliff. “She knows him better than anybody – and she’s been tryna tell y’all the truth about him – but y’all wanna play this pretend court of law bullshit where there’s supposedly some kinda due process. As if she didn’t end up black and blue from that prick. Y’all seemed to forget all about that with his little waterworks yesterday, huh?”

Cliff looks appropriately chastised. Maria fixes Joel with a stern frown. “If you’re done showing your ass, we have work to do.”

You tug at Joel to get his attention. His angry face meets yours and deciphers the resignation written into every frown and troubled wrinkle.

He huffs and glares at Cliff and Maria. “Bring the letter.”

Cliff volunteers himself to fetch the letter, probably in an effort to excuse himself from Joel’s wrath. Maria holds steady and suggests everyone take a seat and take a breather. You slump into the chair. Your adrenaline is shot. Your mind feels like all the crucial cogs have hit a rut and won’t turn the gears. All the backup machinery of your mind is trying to keep up with things well beyond its capacity. When Cliff returns with the letter, it takes a moment to focus on the document placed before you. Your eyes adjust to read its contents.

𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚕,

𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚊𝚢 "𝚐𝚘𝚘𝚍𝚋𝚢𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚠" 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚔𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚢𝚘𝚞’𝚍 𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚘𝚙 𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚍𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚛𝚒𝚙 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚎. 𝚆𝚎’𝚟𝚎 𝚝𝚊𝚕𝚔𝚎𝚍 𝚜𝚘 𝚖𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚝𝚒𝚖𝚎𝚜 𝚋𝚎𝚏𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚊𝚋𝚘𝚞𝚝 𝚠𝚑𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚘𝚛 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚌𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚠𝚊𝚜 𝚒𝚗 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚎𝚜𝚝 𝚒𝚗𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚝. 𝙸 𝚠𝚊𝚗𝚝 𝚗𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚐𝚛𝚘𝚠 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢 𝚝𝚘𝚐𝚎𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚒𝚗 𝚊 𝚜𝚊𝚏𝚎, 𝚗𝚞𝚛𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚎𝚗𝚟𝚒𝚛𝚘𝚗𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚠𝚎 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑 𝚊𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙹𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚒𝚜 𝚗𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚞𝚜.

𝙸’𝚟𝚎 𝚕𝚎��𝚝 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚎𝚗𝚘𝚞𝚐𝚑 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚊𝚜𝚝 𝚖𝚎 𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚓𝚘𝚞𝚛𝚗𝚎𝚢 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛 𝚊𝚛𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚐𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝𝚜. 𝙾𝚗𝚌𝚎 𝙸 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚍 𝚊 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚛𝚊𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢, 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝙹𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚜𝚘𝚗 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚋𝚛𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎. 𝚈𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚏 𝚖𝚢 𝚕𝚒𝚏𝚎, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚌𝚊𝚗’𝚝 𝚜𝚊𝚢 𝚑𝚘𝚠 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚖𝚎𝚊𝚗 𝚝𝚘 𝚖𝚎. 𝙸 𝚙𝚛𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚜𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚏𝚒𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝚙𝚕𝚊𝚌𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚕𝚒𝚟𝚎𝚜 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚠𝚊𝚢 𝚠𝚎 𝚍𝚎𝚜𝚎𝚛𝚟𝚎. 𝙸 𝚌𝚘𝚞𝚕𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚛𝚒𝚜𝚔 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚘𝚞𝚛 𝚋𝚊𝚋𝚢 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚒𝚗𝚐 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚖𝚎, 𝚋𝚞𝚝 𝚙𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠 𝙸 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚋𝚊𝚌𝚔 𝚠𝚒𝚝𝚑 𝚊 𝚗𝚎𝚠 𝚏𝚞𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚞𝚜 𝚊𝚕𝚕. 𝙸 𝚕𝚘𝚟𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞. 𝙸 𝚠𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚋𝚎 𝚐𝚘𝚗𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚗𝚐. 𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚝𝚛𝚢 𝚗𝚘𝚝 𝚝𝚘 𝚠𝚘𝚛𝚛𝚢 𝚝𝚘𝚘 𝚖𝚞𝚌𝚑.

𝙻𝚘𝚟𝚎, 𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚠

𝙰𝚗𝚍 𝚝𝚘 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚙 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙲𝚘𝚞𝚗𝚌𝚒𝚕 𝚘𝚏 𝙹𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚜𝚘𝚗, 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚖𝚢 𝚊𝚌𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗𝚜 𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚎𝚗’𝚝 𝚛𝚞𝚒𝚗𝚎𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚢 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍𝚒𝚗𝚐𝚜 𝚠𝚎 𝚑𝚊𝚍 𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚍. 𝙸 𝚓𝚞𝚜𝚝 𝚍𝚘𝚗’𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚗𝚔 𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚛𝚎’𝚜 𝚊 𝚜𝚘𝚕𝚞𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚋𝚘𝚝𝚑 𝚘𝚏 𝚞𝚜 𝚝𝚘 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚢 𝚒𝚗 𝙹𝚊𝚌𝚔𝚜𝚘𝚗. 𝚃𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚠𝚒𝚕𝚕 𝚋𝚎 𝚊 𝚏𝚛𝚎𝚜𝚑 𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚝 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚖𝚢 𝚏𝚊𝚖𝚒𝚕𝚢, 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝙸 𝚑𝚘𝚙𝚎 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚞𝚗𝚍𝚎𝚛𝚜𝚝𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚗𝚍 𝚊𝚌𝚌𝚎𝚙𝚝 𝚖𝚢 𝚌𝚑𝚘𝚒𝚌𝚎𝚜. 𝙰𝚙𝚘𝚕𝚘𝚐𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝚏𝚘𝚛 𝚝𝚑𝚎 𝚜𝚞𝚙𝚙𝚕𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙸 𝚝𝚘𝚘𝚔. 𝙸 𝚍𝚒𝚍𝚗’𝚝 𝚝𝚊𝚔𝚎 𝚖𝚘𝚛𝚎 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚗 𝙸 𝚗𝚎𝚎𝚍𝚎𝚍. 𝙸𝚏 𝚢𝚘𝚞 𝚜𝚎𝚎 𝚏𝚒𝚝 𝚝𝚑𝚊𝚝 𝙸 𝚛𝚎𝚙𝚊𝚢 𝚝𝚑𝚒𝚜 𝚏𝚊𝚟𝚘𝚛, 𝙸 𝚊𝚖 𝚜𝚞𝚛𝚎 𝚠𝚎 𝚌𝚊𝚗 𝚌𝚘𝚖𝚎 𝚝𝚘 𝚊𝚗 𝚊𝚐𝚛𝚎𝚎𝚖𝚎𝚗𝚝 𝚞𝚙𝚘𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚛𝚎𝚝𝚞𝚛𝚗.

𝙿𝚕𝚎𝚊𝚜𝚎 𝚕𝚘𝚘𝚔 𝚊𝚏𝚝𝚎𝚛 𝚁𝚊𝚌𝚑𝚎𝚕 𝚒𝚗 𝚖𝚢 𝚊𝚋𝚜𝚎𝚗𝚌𝚎.

𝚁𝚎𝚐𝚊𝚛𝚍𝚜, 𝙼𝚊𝚝𝚝𝚑𝚎𝚠

Your stomach bottoms out as you scan the lines of text. “That’s his writing,” you confirm with a feeble shake of your head. You can’t understand how he escaped or why. It didn’t make any sense. This wasn’t like him. Your tongue feels thick and heavy as you try to find the words to express these concerns.

“Doesn’t explain how he managed to escape,” Joel clips.

“We believe his, uh, emotional difficulties yesterday were enough of a distraction to the attendants that they didn’t notice him taking the key off them,” Cliff explains with a notable pink flush on his cheeks.

“So you got swindled, and now a murderer is on the loose?” Joel sneers.

“Joel, if you can’t keep it civil, then I’m going to have to ask Tommy to see you out of here,” Maria warns.

“You want to keep things civil, but you can’t even keep one asshole in a cell?” he bites back. “You’re tellin’ me nobody noticed he was gone in the middle of the night? How in the fuck did that happen, huh? Somebody sleepin’ on the job?”

Cliff adjusts in his seat and sits a little taller. The rosy flush morphs into a deep red and spreads down his neck. “He, uh, he arranged his bedding to look like—”

“You gotta be shittin’ me,” Joel snorts in disbelief. “He bundled up some blankets to look like a body? Like in the fuckin’ movies? And you fell for it?”

Cliff clears his throat and can’t quite meet you or Joel’s eye. Maria huffs, clearly exasperated by Joel’s condescending ire.

“Sounds real fuckin’ convenient, doesn’t it? That he managed all this by himself?” Joel challenges in a low, dangerous voice.

“Watch it, Joel,” Maria cautions. “If you’re suggesting there’s some sort of foul play or outside help, you’re dead wrong, and I’d be careful going around making such bold, suggestive claims.”

Joel laughs without a trace of amusement and sits back in his chair, crossing his arms. Maria’s jaw clenches tight with annoyance. Joel had told you before how his and Maria’s relationship was rocky at best, and this entire situation was just oxygen to a flame. You respected Maria greatly, but it felt good to have Joel stick up for you so fiercely.

“We’re done here. Until y’all get your shit together, don’t come botherin’ her. I’m walkin’ her home, and I’m gettin’ a rifle from the patrol station. You have my word if that asshole shows up, I’m shootin’ him dead on the spot.” Joel’s nostrils flare, hands slamming onto the table as he abruptly stands.

Much to your surprise, neither Cliff nor Maria take him to task on any of it.

“Come on, honey. Let’s go home,” Joel says softly to you, extending his hand for you to take.

True to his word, Joel obtained a firearm and made no attempt to downplay his intent to use it if necessary. He kept by your side, gun ready at all times, as the days pressed on. Tommy stopped by a few times a day, sometimes with updates and sometimes with nothing. By the time day three rolled around, you hadn’t learned anything that made sense of the ordeal.

Matthew had managed to steal his cell key from an attendant, leave his cell with a decoy blanket body in place, get into his and Rachel’s house to write and leave the letter, sneak into reserves and stables to gather up supplies and a horse, and, perhaps most daring of all, getting past the main gates. All without being seen or caught.

It wasn’t that he was incapable of such deceit. It’s that he left when he was already winning. That’s what bothered you the most. He was winning, and Matthew would never forfeit an opportunity to get the best of you and put you in your place. When you’d mentioned this to Joel and even Tommy, neither seemed too concerned with this crucial piece of the puzzle. Joel himself had said that you knew Matthew better than anybody, and it was starting to wear on you that even he wasn’t taking your concerns seriously. He insisted you just needed to keep a low profile and rest. Your pure exhaustion meant you didn’t put up much of a fight to his insistence.

Rachel gave her account to the Council regarding her and Matthew’s previous discussions around leaving Jackson. She tearfully recounted the few times he had spoken to her about “needing to get out of town in a hurry,” but she “never thought he meant like this.” You believed he’d had these talks with her, but not in the context of starting a new life somewhere else. You knew with every fiber of your being that he had spoken about leaving Jackson in a rush in reference to murdering you and either taking himself out with you or fleeing before facing the consequences, whichever came to be the right choice at the time.

It was coming up on five days since Matthew left. You provided your testimony yet again to the Council but didn’t share anything you hadn’t already. It was just under 15 minutes when they’d called everyone back into the room to announce you were considered absolved of any potential wrongdoings as it was impossible to confidently confirm which party had committed what actions. You were given a stern warning that any “untoward behavior” would result in immediate cause for dismissal from Jackson. You agreed to the terms, knowing that you had never been and never would be a problem.

Despite your partial exoneration, it felt like a hollow victory. You still fret to Joel about when Matthew returns and in what capacity. You’re worrying yourself sick with the looming fear of his return. If he was able to evade watchful eyes and escape, he was more than capable of getting back inside the settlement and doing god knows what. What if he didn’t find anything out there? What if he decides to come back and stay? What if he changes his mind and insists that you should be made to leave Jackson instead of him?

You sleep to get away from reality, but your dreams are plagued with nightmares of Matthew above you, choking the life out of you. You can hardly eat. Joel seems so calm somehow. You don’t know how he manages it. It might just be a show of strength to make you feel safer, but all it’s done is make you feel more frustrated. Why doesn’t he seem concerned? Why doesn’t he have the same energy about “staying one step ahead of Matthew” that was so fiery just a short time ago? A week out from your gift of grace from Council, you can’t take it any longer. Matthew has been gone for almost two weeks, and you want to tear your hair out.

“Why don’t you listen to me?” you whisper. Talking any louder guarantees you will break into a fit of tears. You’re afraid. You’re sleep deprived despite sleeping almost constantly. You’re hurt that Joel seems so detached and unbothered from the situation.

Joel’s head snaps up from his task. He frowns in confusion. “What do you mean, honey?” He sets his things aside and moves towards you.

You take a step away and hug yourself, shaking your head. “I-I keep telling you that something isn’t right, but you don’t seem bothered at all. I feel—I feel so alone, Joel.” So much for not crying. The hot pinch in your eyes spills over as you bury your head in your hands.

Joel is quick to snatch you up into a tight embrace. “No, baby. You’re not alone. You’re not alone.”

He rocks you side to side and shushes you. You can’t shake the feeling that he isn’t on the same page as you. A sickening thought tears through your mind, one you hadn’t felt since that day when Matthew gave his testimony.

“Oh my god,” you breathe. “Are you… Do you want me to go?” Your eyes go wide in dismay. Of course. You’ve been so distracted with everything going on that you didn’t even stop to consider the obvious: Joel wants out. This is too much for him. Too much for Ellie. This isn’t what he signed up for, playing personal bodyguard to you 24/7. He wants his life back. You can’t even blame him. Why would he choose this? Why would he choose you?

You’ve already accepted it before Joel can reply. You feel completely numb. Matthew was right. All those times he tried to tell you that no one would want you, and you decided to believe otherwise.

“What?” Joel scoffs. “What the hell? No, I don’t want you to leave! What the hell are you— Why on earth would you—” He shakes his head like he’s offended you’d even suggest such a thing. He’s gobsmacked into silence as he searches your face for some sort of clarity.

“But you—you’ve been so distant with all this Matthew stuff. A-And I just, I know it’s too much–I’m too much, and—” You ramble and try to control the flood of tears cascading down your face and neck.

“No. No, honey,” he says flatly. He shakes his head again like he can’t understand how you’d come to that conclusion. He sits you on the couch and pushes himself between your legs. He cradles your face so that you’re eye to eye with each other.

“I’m in love with you,” he states with conviction. Not a hint of reluctance or hesitation is in his voice. You can’t understand it.

“What?” you choke.

“I said I’m in love with you. I love you. It scares the hell outta me, but I do. I love you. I don’t want you to leave, not ever,” he continues. He closes his eyes and rests his forehead to yours.

“You? You love me?” you repeat.

He nods firmly a few times and pulls back to look at you. “Yeah. I do. I really, really do.”

“I–Joel—” you break. “I-I love you, too, Joel. I love you so much. I’ve loved you for so much time now. It’s been so much time, Joel. I never said it. I thought I was going to die before I could tell you—thought he was going to kill me before I could—”

Joel cuts you off with a deep, biting kiss. Your breath comes ragged and frantic with the reciprocal admission and overwrought nerves. You can’t stop crying, and you’re not even sure you know why you’re crying or what you’re crying about at this point. Everything has come to a bottleneck, and there’s no stopping the outpouring deluge.

Joel draws back for a moment to catch his breath. He considers you with a contemplative gaze for a moment before speaking. “I’m so sorry, honey. I’m sorry I’ve been so preoccupied that I wasn’t pickin’ up on how alone I was makin’ you feel.”

You swallow and ask a question you aren’t sure you want the answer to. “What’s b-been keeping your attention?”

Joel’s lips form a thin line. He holds your searching eye and finally nods. “I haven’t been honest with you. Been waitin’ until it was the right time. I guess now is the right time.”

Your mouth turns down at the vague explanation. “Joel, I don’t know what—”

“Tonight,” he interrupts. He sounds resolute, like he’s finally decided on something. “Tonight I’m gonna show you. Get some rest. You’re gonna need it.”

You aren’t sure how you’re supposed to sleep after all of that, but you try anyway.

You’re quiet as the horse carries you and Joel through the dense wooded areas outside the settlement. You’d exited through the cover of a passage at the edge of the barrier you didn’t even know existed, but you didn’t ask questions. You just sat quietly and waited to see what Joel was going to show you, what the answer to all your questions was going to be.

The moonlight slipped through the branches, the dapple of a dull glow lighting the path forward, wherever that may be. You hug close against Joel and rest your head on his shoulder as the horse meanders further, past the dam, past the typical patrol points. You hold on tighter at his instruction when he turns off into a steep, obscured ravine. It levels off at the bottom, and you’re beginning to wonder just how far into the outlands this clandestine destination is. Joel slows the horse to an ambling gait and veers into an overgrown pocket of woods.

“This is it,” he announces calmly as he dismounts. He assists you off the horse, and guides it into a concealed alcove already housing three other horses. The only indication that this is even frequented by travelers is a dug-out firepit some several yards away. You start to ask where you’re going now when he points out the telltale edge and turn of a man made structure in the compact stretch of greenery and woodlands. You’re almost a stone’s throw from the camouflaged house before you recognize it, hidden in the distance to anyone not already familiar. He holds firm onto your hand as if you’re one surprise away from being scared off completely. He guides you through the entrance of the house after brushing aside well-placed bits of facade and coverings.

You have a million and one questions, and a singular unknown has been halfway answered when your eyes adjust to the dimly lit interior. Two of the horses must belong to Tommy and Natalie’s father, John, who each sit on aging furniture in what you think was once a sort of living space. They offer a quick greeting, one that you’re too flummoxed to return. They don’t seem surprised at your unannounced arrival. You realize Joel must’ve already looped them in. You know it’s all in due time, but it’s difficult to not grow impatient and nervous as to when exactly all your questions will be answered.

“I’ll holler if we need anythin’,” Joel informs the pair before grabbing a flashlight from a crooked end table and leading you down a dark hallway to the left. He stops in the middle of it, checks over his shoulder that you’re out of earshot, and runs his eyes lazily over your features. “You doin’ okay?” he asks softly.

“I don’t know what’s going on, but I guess I’m alright. Just sort of feel, I dunno–” You aren’t sure why you’re whispering, but it feels appropriate for conversation in the mysterious, dark hallway of the secret, hidden house. “I trust you – I do – but I’m just getting more and more nervous with every—”

Joel grazes his thumb across your bottom lip. “You don’t need to feel nervous, pretty girl. Not anymore. Never again. I told you I got you, and I do. So now I’m gonna show you, okay? Can you let me do that? Just hold on for a little bit longer for me?”

You swallow down your fear and concede to his plea. “Yes. Okay. I can. I mean, I will.” A deep, grounding breath, and then, “ I’m ready. I trust you.”

Joel shoots you a lopsided grin. “There’s my girl. Pretty thing.” He leans down to give you a quick kiss, and you chase his lips when he draws back. “Plenty of time for that soon enough.”

He walks you to the end of the hallway and stops short of the solid paneled wall. He runs his hand down the edge of the decorative molding, stopping on some unseen point and pressing into it until a soft click sound is heard on the other side of the wall. “Hold onto my shoulder on the way down, okay? Don’t want you fallin’.” He nudges the bottom of the wall, and the entirety of it swings forward, revealing a small opening and staircase.

“Ready?”

Your eyes go a little wide, jaw a little slack, but you just nod and grab onto his jacket as you both descend into the murky space. You duck your head a few times whenever Joel does. He’s clearly been here many, many times to be so well-acquainted with every low hanging beam and jutted bit of framing. You reach the bottom and pause again. He raises a hand to the side, flicking some other out of sight thing, and a camping lantern washes light over the room.

The damp air fits the visual of the area, but it lacks the musk of an unused space. Evidence of human movement and activity are visible here and there despite it being mostly bare. “Hidden basement? Was it always here? This has always been here, or–?”

“Yeah. Came up on it by surprise a long time ago now. The work of some doomsdayer, probably. Took us a long time to find it. Got real good use out of it lately, too.”

You scan the room for some indication of what he could mean. A long folding table lines one wall, filled with random supplies and curiosities. Odd pieces of furniture are scattered here and there. A closed door leading to who knows what. Rolled work blankets, tarps, and crates lie in organized piles.

“Is it some secret outpost or something?”

“Somethin’ like that.” Joel fiddles with your hand in his. Buying himself some time before–

“Why’d you bring me down here?”

He continues across the space with you and hesitates outside the closed door near the back of the basement. He waits until you meet his gaze before saying anything. “Listen to me good now. We’re gonna go in there, and I need you to promise me if you need to get outta there you’ll say somethin’. No judgment from anybody if you do, alright?” His stare could bore holes into your head with the intensity of it.

“O-Okay,” you agree. You don’t know what’s inside that would potentially be too much for you, but you know he wouldn’t mention it if he didn’t think you needed the preemptive permission of an out. He nods, searches your face with an inscrutable look, and leans down into a soft kiss. He slots his mouth against yours in a slow rhythm, siphoning the jittery anticipation from you with each pass and pull of his tongue against yours. Your weight slowly gives way to his clutch, and you give and give and give your anxieties over until you feel significantly calmer.

He pulls away, appears content with your pacified demeanor, and rests his hand on the doorknob.

“I’ve got you, honey. Just remember that.”

He eases the door open, pushing it wide so you can see inside without having to enter. There’s already a few sources of light, but Joel flips something that powers a long row of bulbs. Matthew’s panicked eyes lock onto yours, a frenzied recognition taking over, and he strains against the rope bandings that hold him in place. He’s bound to a chair in much the same way as the first time Joel tied him up during your first time together. His muffled pleas and screams aren’t entirely intelligible past the wad of fabric shoved in his mouth. You let out a soft gasp at the sight of him, a little roughed up but mostly just looking terrified.

“This hopefully clears up why I wasn’t seemin’ too concerned with whether or not he was comin’ back to Jackson,” he supplies quietly.

“You-You mean…” You glance up at him, dumbfounded and at a loss for words.

He nods his head and watches you carefully, searching for some sort of upset or anger or disgust at seeing your ex-husband being held captive and worse for wear.

“But that day at the meeting! You were-You were so upset! You… was it all…..” You struggle to verbalize a logical train of thought. Joel had been pretending to be just as in the dark as you actually had been all this time. An apologetic frown pulls at the corners of his mouth.

“After that first day of the hearing, I knew we couldn’t count on those people to do the right thing. I told you I was gonna protect you. Keep you safe. I already failed you once. I wasn’t gonna fail you again.” He fixes you with a soft, remorseful look.

“Joel,” you choke. “You-You went and–after it— but, how?”

He takes a deep breath and steadies himself like he’s been waiting to finally tell you the truth, to impart this secret he’s been keeping from you for your own good. “He’s pissed off enough of the guys in Jackson that finding a few helping hands wasn’t too grand of a task,” comes his simple explanation. He glances over to Matthew with a look of pure disdain. “Had a few that owed me a major favor. Knocked his dumb ass out and took him out the back. Tommy already took the supplies, and I met him with the horse at the back passage. John lugged him on the horse here.”

You blink slowly, trying to absorb all this new information and connect it to what you already knew - or thought you already knew. You’re in such a state of shock that you don’t catch Matthew’s increasingly desperate, stifled calls for help. Joel rolls his eyes and shuts the door so the conversation can proceed in peace.

“But the letter,” you sputter. “How?”

Joel looks at the ground and knocks the toe of his boot against it a few times before looking back at you. “Might be for the best if we don’t get into that.”

“No, Joel,” you say with a tremble. “I want to know. I deserve to know.”

He shakes his head in agreement and reaches out for your hand, which you readily place in his. He hesitates a few times before speaking. “I- I don’t want you to be- I don’t want you to be afraid of me, honey.” His head lists back and forth, his eyes locked on where your hands are clasped together. “Done some bad things in my life. Not proud of all of it, but not really too sorry for it, either. I just… don’t want you thinkin’ I’m somebody you gotta be afraid of.”

With what seems to be a great amount of effort, he looks at you again. You hold his stare, a steady and unconditional hope and confidence meeting his look of insecurity. “I trust you,” you remind him firmly. You gather his hands together in yours and press them against your heart. “I trust you more than anything. I trust you with my life. I’m not afraid of you.”

He wavers for a moment before steeling himself. “I threatened to hurt Rachel and the baby. That’s how I got him to write that letter,” he admits. “Had to get him to talk, and quick, and I knew threatenin’ that would get him to write whatever I told him to.”

Your brow pinches together in an unasked question: how could you leverage something against him that he doesn’t actually care about?

“Yeah, it’s a little more’n what it sounds like. I–” he pauses for a beat before starting again, once more sounding uncertain of himself “–I don’t want you to see me different, when I tell you. Don’t think I could take you feelin’ scared of me or scared that I’d do anything to you – ever.”

You could understand his reluctance to bare these dark parts of himself. You’d spent most of your life in the long shadow of fear, the torrents of violence delivered by the mouths and hands of men you should’ve been able to trust. It was all too predictable that Joel would just become another perpetrator in the long line that existed before him, fitting into the established pattern.

Except Joel wasn’t like anyone you’d ever known, was unlike any man you’d shared space with. He jumped the circuit that had been assigned to you - the circular loop of pain and fear - and became the break in the sequence. The disruptor of the inevitable. The arm that links to yours instead of bending it backward until compliance is yielded. Joel had decided that the cycle of your suffering stopped here, and god help anyone who got in his way.

“Scared? Of you? Joel, the only thing that scares me is whether or not I can ever be for you what you’ve been for me.” The words slip out gently, like they aren’t all sharp edges patched together with threads of hope. He moves to cut the conversation from its trajectory, but you press on before he can stop your moment of timid confession. “I don’t want pieces of you, Joel. I want it all. Just like you say you want all of me. So– I’m asking you to-to trust me with the truth, the way I trust you with the truth.” You level a firm, probing gaze and watch as his reservations abate.

“I’m not stupid, Joel. I-I know what him being here– I know what it means.” You straighten taller, pushing and pressing yourself to show the faith you have in yourself and in Joel - in the two of you. “I know that he’s– I know he’s not going to-to live. I know he’s not going to survive this. He’s not going to walk out of here.”

“That ain’t up to anyone but you,” he corrects. Before you can ask what he could possibly mean, he clarifies. “Told ‘em it wasn’t anybody’s decision ‘bout what happens to him but yours. Weren’t too happy with me about it. Wanted to kill him the first night – especially John – but ain’t nothin’ gonna happen that you don’t want to happen.”

The weight of his words settles slowly, a viscid cloud that ripples and sweeps through you. Matthew’s far off, muted cries for help are the only sound other than the pounding pulse in your ears. He took your life and bent it to his will, and now he was at your mercy. His fate lies in the palm of your hand because Joel stopped others from taking that decision from you. Because Matthew had hurt you more than anyone. Because Matthew had taken the most from you, wanted to take everything from you, it should be you to decide what happens.

Because Joel wanted to give you something you’d never had before: the power to dictate your life.

Your lip quivers with the comprehension of it, the magnitude of the gift he’d gently laid at your feet, as if it weren’t the most profound gesture anyone had ever bestowed you. Your lungs pull for the inhale that will balloon your chest against the constricting cage of your ribs. You have to get it together. You have to let him know he can tell you anything, can tell you everything, all without the fear that it will be too much and be the reason you walk away.

“Because you love me.” It’s not a question. It’s an answer. An explanation of why this man in front of you would do all of this.

“Because I love you,” he echoes. His lips press into a tight line. Consideration. Resolution. And then–

“I said I would—” He falters again, searching your face for the fear he so dreads will take hold and fester in you, the fear of what he is capable of, even if it’s done with the intent to shield you from harm. You give his hand an encouraging squeeze. “I told him I’d drag her here, blow her brains out, and rip his kid from her stomach. Make him hold it until it didn’t move anymore. Kill off the future of him if he didn’t write what I told him to.”

You gulp back a gasp. “A-And would you have…? You would’ve done that?”

“Didn’t need to,” he replies instantly, skirting the question.

You press his hand firmer against your chest. “Would you have done that, Joel?”

“Yeah,” he finally admits. “If it meant gettin’ Matthew away from you, if it meant protectin’ you, then yeah, I would’ve.”

You gently nod, swallowing down the ebbing jolt of his confession, and bring his palms against your cheeks. You pivot to kiss them each in turn before looking up at him. “These hands are for– they’re for loving me. And protecting me.” You tilt towards him to emphasize your belief. His shoulders sag with relief, your sanction of his ill deeds loosening the tight nieve of guilt around him.

“And I know whatever happens in there–” an aside glance back at the door and back to Joel “–it’ll be okay. I’ll be okay, because you’re with me.”

He gives you a pointed nod and presses a kiss to your forehead. “I got you. I’ve always got you from here on out. I need you to understand, honey.”

“I do. I understand.”

“Then let’s get to it, sweet girl.”

With that, he opens the door again and drags in a heavy blanket from the other side of the basement. The distinct clink and clatter of metal can be heard even through the thick fabric. He motions for you to follow him into the room and close the door. You push it shut and watch as he hauls a cushioned chair from the corner of Matthew’s room and sets it up a few feet away from him, dead center.

Matthew’s eyes dart wildly between the two of you. You jump at the unexpected slap Joel lands against Matthew’s head. “Shut. The fuck. Up.” Matthew quiets down instantly and stills. “I’m gonna tell you this one time: do not speak unless spoken to. You will listen to her. You will answer whatever question she has. You will not lie to her. If you lie to her or start gettin’ outta line, I will gladly set you straight.”

He rips the fabric gag from Matthew’s mouth and throws it on the floor. His breathing is audible and strained without the obstruction. Joel wraps an arm around your middle and pulls you down onto his lap, sitting in the armchair he’d arranged directly across from Matthew.

He leans forward, hugging you against him. I’m here. You’re not alone. Take the power you should’ve always had. Get answers to the questions you deserve to have answered. His hands splay wide across your chest and belly, an anchor to him. He runs his nose along your neck and hairline, presses his lips gently against your ear. “Go on. I’ve got you.”

Matthew has been sitting silently as instructed, waiting on your permission to engage. Something turbulent and mirthful stirs in your gut. You can feel it spreading through you like a beast intent on carnage. It takes a few moments to recognize the feeling for what it is: power. The expression “drunk on power” finally made sense. The feeling of confidence, strength, and command makes your head buzz. It occurs to you that while this is your first time wielding such authority, it is likely Matthew’s first time experiencing the other side of things, not having any control over what’s going to happen next.

“How do you feel?”

Your question catches them both off guard, although Joel doesn’t show his surprise other than tensing for a split second underneath you. Matthew’s eyes squeeze shut, his frown deepening as he shakes his head side to side. He takes your line of questioning as a sign of possible mercy – all that understanding and patience you’ve been leached of your entire life.

“I’m fucking scared!” he croaks. His voice sounds weak and tired. “Every time they come down here I don’t know if it’s gonna be the time they kill me! Please just tell them to let me go! I’ll fucking go, I will! You’ll never see me again, I swear it.” He leans as far forward in his chair as he can manage, his desperation for your leniency coming off him in spates.

“What about Rachel? And the baby?”

Again, they both show their surprise at your choice of question. Matthew’s face flashes an answer before he can speak: what about them? Of course. Why should he care about the woman he’d impregnated out of spite? She was nothing more than collateral in this entire thing. His rooted seed in her belly nothing more than a guarantee of his lineage, a point of ego.

He works his expression into more of the calculated veneer he’s perfected over the years. “I-If you would– Listen, of course I care about them both, of course I want to take care of them both—”

You don’t bother listening to the rest. His words slacken to a halt as you turn your head towards Joel. “He’s lying to me, and you told him not to,” you say softly. Something eager and electric sparks in his eyes. “Yeah, I think he is, baby. I don’t like that one bit. What do you think?”

Matthew stutters but keeps himself from speaking, rightfully afraid of Joel’s correction.

You rest your hands atop his where he cradles you against him. “Do you remember in the cabin when you told me not to feel bad when bad people get what they deserve?”

He holds back a smirk. “I do.”

“Do you remember what I told you I liked seeing and wanted to see again?”

He doesn’t downplay the depraved grin spreading across his face. “I think I do, but I sure would love if you reminded me anyway.”

You turn to face Matthew and swallow down the delight at his anxious urgency to understand what is happening. Your expression is cold, unfeeling. “I liked it when you cried, Matthew, and I like it when Joel makes you cry—” you turn to Joel again, whose face has darkened and acidified, the drip of a lethal edge pooling at the verge “—so, I want you to do it again. I want you to make him cry, Joel. Make him cry for me.”

His smile is infectious. “Thought you’d never ask.” When he tilts you closer to his face and kisses you gently, it’s your turn to be surprised. “I love you.” A tender reminder, something free in the way he says it now that it’s already been said before. Like he wants to say it as many times as he can. Like you’ll understand how much he means it the more you hear him say it.

“I love you, too,” you whisper back.

You both ignore Matthew’s break in protocol as he rushes to explain his sincerity. Joel is in no hurry, knowing that his leisure only works Matthew into more of a frenzy. He walks calmly to the blanket he’d brought in earlier, unwraps it, and studies the contents for a moment. Opting to forgo anything in the selection, he saunters over to an ever distraught Matthew. The glint of a small blade from Joel’s back pocket catches the light.

“NO NO NO,” Matthew starts chanting, an octave higher reached with every utterance.

You flinch when Joel swings his arm up, barely stopping the momentum of it in enough time for the sharp edge of the blade to tamp directly against Matthew’s cheek. The room is quiet again. A slip of crimson trickles between the bulge of his flesh and the blade. His jaw trembles with the effort of keeping still so as to not deepen the cut.

“The only reason you ain’t laid out and bein’ beat to death right now is because of her, so I suggest you count your fuckin’ lucky stars that she’s the one callin’ the shots,” Joel growls. His fingertips are white from where he grips the hilt of the blade so tight you can practically see the itch to drive it further in.

Matthew’s eyes lock onto your face. Like the rabbit whose leg has been snapped in steel teeth, he feels the walls closing in around him. Something about your presence makes this all the more real somehow, you think. You drop your gaze, suddenly feeling uncertain if you only liked the idea of Matthew suffering and might not be fit to actually witness it. As if sensing your thoughts, Joel flicks the blade closed and returns it to his pocket.

“Now listen real close,” he drawls. Matthew’s face pouches out in little pockets of flesh between Joel’s stretched fingers where they grip his skull. The dig of Joel’s thumb into the new sliced divide of flesh triggers a string of pained gasps. “My girl wants to see you cry, so you’re gonna give her some tears. If ya can’t squeeze ‘em out during some heartfelt somethin’ or other, I’ll just hafta think of somethin’ to motivate ya.”

Joel watches you from the corner of his eye, waiting for you to take the lead when you’re ready. He senses your uncertainty at commanding the situation just yet and continues. A fractured cry pierces the air as Joel wedges his finger deeper into the cut. “Lucky for me, I’m feelin’ real creative today.”

Matthew shakes his head, although you’re not entirely sure which part of it he disagrees with. Joel doesn’t seem to notice or care and continues on. “So how about you start bein’ honest and start from day one. I wanna hear all the fuckin’ mistakes you made and all the shit you took for granted. And god help you if ya start lyin’ or fakin’ some crocodile tears.”

You find Matthew’s eyes again, settled with a defeated acceptance, and he looks scared enough that you think he might actually just tell the truth for once.

“W-When we met– the first time we met–” he sputters. He squeezes his eyes shut like he’s closing himself off from his current predicament, as if he can separate himself from the lies he’s told and his obligation to now recount the story in truth rather than through his lens of manipulation. “When I saw you, I just– I did think they were raiders. Your dad and brother. I did. But. I just thought– I knew I could catch them off guard and take them both out. I just–”

His eyes slip towards Joel, a mistake warranting censure. Joel grips his head in one hand and forces his focus towards you again. “You’re tellin’ her, not me. So keep your eyes on her when you’re talkin’.”

“I wasn’t sure if I was going to kill you, too, or see if maybe you could be useful to me in some way,” Matthew confesses in a bungled rush of words.

“What do you mean?” You swallow down a sick feeling and aren’t sure you want to know the answer. He’d been a liar since the very beginning, and it took you so long to see it. You’d been such a fool for so fucking long. Knowing the extent and depth of the deception only magnified the hurt stemming from this level of betrayal.

“He means he kept you around for a warm, wet hole to stick his dick in,” Joel snarls.

“It wasn’t just that!” Matthew pleads. His eyes nearly slip back to Joel, but he recovers at the last moment. “I swear! If-If it was just that I could’ve just raped you! You were already so beat down it wouldn’t have been hard!”

Your stomach sinks hearing him share this alternate version of events, something so perverse from what you’d always remembered it as. “Am I supposed to be flattered by that, Matthew?” Your voice breaks ever so slightly. You hate showing weakness, especially under the circumstances.

At least Matthew looks appropriately chastened. “I’m telling you the truth! You said you wanted the truth, and I’m doing that! PLEASE!” His lip trembles with unfettered panic. “Maybe I wasn’t some-some knight in shining armor like I had you believe, b-but if I didn’t actually want you I would’ve just dumped you sooner! You have to see that I’m telling the truth about that! I did like having you around!”

“Having me around for what?” you bite back. The look on Matthew’s face says Joel’s assertion about being a “warm, wet hole” wasn’t very far off. “So that’s really it then? Just somebody to use? Somebody to make you feel good? To be, I mean– to be, what? Forever in your debt? Someone who-who was so fucking–” you cut yourself off before the heat pinching in your eyes forms tears. You shake your head side to side to collect your resolve. “Someone who was so fucking grateful to be out of their situation that they wouldn’t even notice all the fucked up parts of their new one?”

Your voice has grown shaky and hoarse at the effort of holding back tears. Matthew’s face twists into something akin to an indignant sneer. “You can’t blame me for every little thing, you know. You didn’t have to follow me around like a lost puppy. You were plenty grown enough if you wanted to—”

The sneer morphs into a grotesque contortion of pain as Joel drives his knife straight into Matthew’s lower thigh and twists. The shocked scream erupting from him is almost as jarring as the brutal drive of the knife springing up blood through his pants.

“Let’s try that again,” Joel drawls. He yanks the blade from Matthew’s leg. The claret drips fall like a quiet rain against a window, and it makes you feel unfamiliar with yourself when you register the sort of calm it brings. The gentle pitter patter of rain against the pane. The soft spill of Matthew’s blood onto his clothes and the floor. Something contentious and changing, something ready to cleanse away the before.

You sit up straight on the edge of the chair and grip the arms, looking on in revulsion and enthusiasm. The ire churning in your gut unfurls into licking flames of white heat. “A lost puppy you were more than happy to keep on a leash,” you warble back. The edges of your vision blur in equal, indignant fever. You shove yourself up from the chair, legs shaking with the surge of emotion you no longer attempt to subdue. Hot bands of wet splinter over your cheeks, a fit pair with the jagged breaths you pull in. “How many?” you snap. “How many women were you with after you told me you loved me and cared about me?”

Matthew’s mouth hangs open as if it awaits the strangled sob in his throat to dislodge itself soon. “PLEASE,” a gasp of a prayer for your mercy.

“Ain’t a quick learner, are ya?” Joel laughs to himself, calm as ever while he jabs the flat side of his hand directly against Matthew’s windpipe.

He sputters and coughs before quickly choking out an answer. “I don’t–cough–I don’t know. I have to think!” He tilts his head back, his eyes chasing an answer along the ceiling somewhere. “I-I’m think–jesus christ I don’t know. It has to be….” He trails off with a small rocking motion as he tallies his indiscretions. “I think thirteen,” he finally decides.

“Can you even name them?” you challenge. He makes it through the first handful quickly, but his memory is hazy from when he’d finally given in to the practice of unabashed, serial infidelity. With a promise of “help” from Joel to remember the rest, Matthew manages to focus and list off names that amount to a grand total of seventeen. Seventeen others he’d sought out and prioritized over you, over his commitments and promises to you.

“Why?”

Matthew squeezes his eyes shut tight again in anticipation of the response to his truthful but less than palatable answer.

“Because I could.”

He waits for the strike or the blade to come and peels his eyes open when it doesn’t. You can see Joel’s entire frame taut beside him, fuming at the gall and arrogance. You signal for Matthew to continue answering.

“I-I knew you’d never do anything about it. I knew you were too scared no one would want you. I knew you wouldn’t ever think of crossing me.”

A physical pain roosts in your chest. He was right. You never did anything about it - not until Natalie. Even after Natalie, you remained boxed in by your own fears of having to present yourself as enough for somebody else, as if anyone would want you. You’d never crossed Matthew because he was something rather than the terrifying prospect of nothing. But none of that mattered when he made you feel so alone anyway. It didn’t matter when he isolated you from even knowing yourself.

“Joel, can I have your knife please?”

His eyebrows shoot up, hands deftly placing the weapon in your open palm. “Gonna show me some techniques, baby?” His smile falls a little when he sees the fearfulness pulling at you again. “Or are you gonna let me join ya?”

“Together,” you agree.

Matthew thrashes in his bindings. Pitiful calls for you to just wait and hold on a minute fall on deaf ears. Joel kicks his chair to the ground and gives a hard push with his boot to position him onto his back. You motion towards the gag, which Joel shoves back into place. You brace yourself over Matthew’s feet and remove his shoes and socks. The sinew of his muscle flexes as he tries in vain to get away from you. Joel kneels behind you and steadies you in his arms. Matthew’s neck is craning, eyes bulged with horror, as he watches helplessly.

“Can you…..?” you trail off, not sure how to ask what you want to ask.

Joel follows your line of sight to the arch of Matthew’s foot. He holds you in the cradle of his arms, back to chest, as he places his hands over yours and the knife clutched there. “I’m right here. You go on ahead, sweet girl.”

He guides your hands forward, releasing his grasp on one side to hold Matthew’s foot in place, and you hold your breath as you both plunge the blade into the soft bend of Matthew’s foot. His screams become clearer through the bunched fabric in his mouth. Your stomach turns at the high pitched agony. Joel frames your body closer to his and talks close to your ear. “You’ve got it, honey. You’re doin’ it. I’m right here. You just keep goin’. I’ve got you, sweet girl. I’ve got you.”

The glittery silver disappears into reddening, wet flesh. Before you can pull it back out, Joel turns your wrist to the side and slows the extraction to a brutal crawl of blade against bone. Your hands shake as you enact the most ruthless savagery you’ve ever rendered. Joel’s hushed whispers of encouragement feel nauseating and thrilling. When the blade finally works its way out completely, you release a hard, shaky exhale.

Matthew is sobbing and writhing, his torment discernible even through his restraints and gag. Joel is unphased, passing praising kisses against your neck and cheeks. “Did so good. So proud of you.”

“I did okay?” you shake out.

He leans forward so you can see each other’s faces fully. “Did perfect, sweet girl. Perfect.”

You take a deep breath and center yourself. “Can you help me do it again?”

Joel grins, a sort of fervid vestige of a bedlamite, and says of course he’ll help you do it again and adds that he’ll help as many times as you want, baby. After you repeat the same measured, excruciating puncture on Matthew’s opposite foot, Joel asks a question you’ve only just decided the answer to.

“How many times you wanna cut him, honey?” He nuzzles against your earlobe, ever patient and calming. You know if you said you wanted to stop all of this and just walk away, he’d do just that. It makes you want to do it even more.

“I-I think that, um,” you mumble hesitantly. You try to block out Matthew’s heaving shrieks. “I think that some smaller ones for the rest. I think, maybe, fifteen smaller ones should make it–”

“–seventeen,” Joel finishes with a sinister chuckle. “Knew I had me a clever one. You’re really somethin’ else, sweet girl.”

You almost chicken out as you start to feel ill inflicting your twisted punishment, a slice into his flesh for each time he strayed from you. Joel as always helps you through it and steadies the blade to create fifteen superficial but sizable slits across the expanse of Matthew’s body from bottom to top. By the final cut, his eyes are far off and fixed on a spot above your heads. Joel jerks the chair upright and wrenches him out of his dissociative escape.

“Wake up, prick,” he snaps. A smack of his palm against the side of Matthew’s head gets his eyes focused on you again. Somehow there’s still the resonance of hatred in his gaze, a burning, putrid animosity held for you. The vitriol that comes into the centrifuge of his sight on you makes goosebumps ripple over your skin.

What feels like hours has in reality only been minutes. The encumbrance of violence has tired you quickly, and you briefly wonder how on earth people can maintain rabid, cruel tendencies for years, even decades. How they aren’t shriveled into a heap after 5 minutes of it. Then you remember, some people thrive on it. For some, it’s the only thing that swells their blood. People like Matthew who can’t seem to stray far from it without it coming back tenfold in its consuming appetite for destruction.

Your stomach burns and clenches. This is not the path you are meant to travel. There’s something decidedly wrong about it all, and you wish you could focus more on Matthew finally getting what’s been a long time coming. Instead, you avert your eyes from his, away from the splinters of torn tissue you’d carved into him.

“Hey.” Joel’s soft voice calls you from your freefall. You look over to find him already watching you, carefully pinpointing each minutia of emotion you can’t keep from breaking through. “C’mere.”

You readily shrink into his middle, his arms coming up to cage you into him. A few deep breaths of him block out the heavy, stale air of the room that’s whirling with the metallic daub of fresh blood. You let him guide you to sit in the lounge chair in his lap. You slump against his warm, broad body. Your head lolls to the side. You feel like you could just shut down right now and sleep for four months straight.

“Lemme help you relax.” The words barely register until the paired action of his hand skimming underneath your waistband catches you up immediately. Your body tenses as you turn your head to look at him. A soft, playful smile graces his lips. His fingertips dip down lower. Your lids flutter closed. Why did this feel so good in such a gruesome environment? How did this feel so germane after all the atrocities you’d just committed against another human? Nevertheless, Joel’s touch is a calming weight, settling over you in an instant.

“Gonna take these off, honey.” The scratch of denim and cotton against your legs is the beginning of your body fully switching over into corporeal awareness instead of the tumultuous sea of your mind. A whiny choke gets caught in your throat when you feel Joel’s hands against your bare skin.

“I know, I know,” he soothes. He spreads your legs across his lap, knees hooked over his thighs. Your curiosity gets the better of you when you wonder what Matthew’s face looks like.

Cold. Callous. His eyes keep flashing to the cradle of your thighs, spread and displayed.

“Messy baby,” Joel hums with a spark of humor. You aren’t sure what he means until you see the bright blood on his fingertips. “I like you messy,” he grunts, cupping your pussy against his palm.

“Joel,” you start to protest. As you stare at the menstrual blood glistening on your inner thighs, you realize the gut cramping and sick feeling you’ve been experiencing over the past hour could only partially be blamed on all the torment you’d been inflicting on Matthew.

“Knock it off,” he warns, sounding stern and resolute, when you squirm against him. You whimper and give in immediately. There’s not much fight left in you when it comes to Joel, not with all the pinpricking blooms of revenge taking to you so steadfastly. He groans against you as he sinks his fingers inside your entrance. His other hand has skirts underneath your top, toying lazily with your hardening buds.

“Gonna let him watch just like that first time,” he husks. His excitement is palpable against you, seeping into you like an osmotic, erogenous stimulant. You can feel him thick and ready beneath you. You lift yourself higher for his fingers to go deeper. He wordlessly complies and drinks in your feeble moan.

“God do you remember how fuckin’ smug he was that day? Now look at him.”

You heed his invitation and focus your hazy attention on Matthew. His eyes are glossy and bloodshot. His nose is dripping. There are patches of bright new blood and auburn, oxidizing blood all over his body. There’s a mixture of dried and fresh tears streaking his face.

“Pathetic piece of shit,” Joel laughs under his breath. He hooks his fingers into you and moves his hand back and forth in quick motions, his palm pressing firmly against your clit. Your legs clamp together reflexively, but Joel pries them back open. You pin the weight of your shoulders against his chest, arching up from where you sit in his lap.

“Give it to me. Come on, baby. I can feel it. You’re right there–yeah, come on–there you go.”

A white heat scorches through your lower belly just as you reach your peak. You’re a writhing mess against Joel, who holds you loosely against his chest. A warm pool of wet gathers on his hand and fingers, bright red mixed in with your slick. Your chest feels hot and prickly as you catch your breath. Already so awash in your afterglow, you list to the side where Joel props you gently against the back of the chair.

The entire front of his pants are flecked in smudges of scarlet. He twists and turns his hand in the light, admiring the catch of it against the mixture of fluids. He smiles to himself, stands, and saunters to Matthew, whose eyes grow larger the closer Joel gets. Thick bright red blood coating his hand is all the more evident when he flexes it into a fist.

“Bet you thought so many times about seein’ blood pour outta her,” he muses in a dangerously calm voice. “Bet you wanted to be the one to make that happen. Crack her in the skull. Cut her open. Shoot her. Huh?”

Matthew is still as a statue. You find yourself hanging onto Joel’s every word as well, mesmerized and head crooked to the side to witness whatever was going to happen next. Dissatisfied with his question going unanswered, Joel takes his clean hand to grip around Matthew’s sweaty, grimy hair and yanks him to the side. “HM?”

“Yes!” Matthew coughs and begins to cry again. “Yes, I thought about it!”

“Yeah, that’s what I thought.” Joel's entire broad frame is rigid with fury. “You wanted her blood so bad, you can have it.” The high pitched impact of Joel’s drenched hand across Matthew’s cheek practically echoes in the enclosed space. Fresh tears carve a clean line through the smear of your blood on his face. Joel slaps him again. Again and again and so many times you lose count. His face is covered in you.

Matthew had wanted you dead. He’d wanted your blood on his hands. He felt that’s what you owed him. Joel saw to it that the “debt” was repaid, just not how Matthew had envisioned it. It was a due reward for what he’d craved, and it sent a surge of righteous anger through every nerve ending in your body. Joel pauses for a moment to check in on you.

You bend your head slowly in approval. “More,” you whisper.

The million kilowatt, manic grin that brightens Joel’s entire face makes you smile shyly in return. There was something akin to pride there, something that made him swell with it just from you taking control of the situation and taking ownership in this act of vengeance. He loosens some of the restraints binding Matthew to the chair and frees his arms and legs.

With every ounce of energy he has available, Matthew lunges at you, an ineffective movement with his injuries slowing him down. It’s a stumble and a longshot. You’re not even sure why he attempted it. Joel doesn’t look surprised in the slightest. In fact, he looks like he was hoping Matthew might do something so incredibly stupid just to have a reason to further maim him. He snatches him up and sends him flying into the closest wall, crumpling into a heap. Just when Matthew manages to brace himself against the wall and sit upright, Joel’s boot slams square into his back, knocking the air from his lungs.

He twitches and gasps for breath that doesn’t come. He still hasn’t caught his breath when Joel finishes stripping him bare, a constellation of slices and gashes and bruises across his body. Joel kicks him again into the middle of the room, pins him to the floor with a knee between the shoulders. The deft movement of his fingers is mesmerizing as they work over the freshly tied knots around Matthew’s elbows and wrists. Alleviation doesn’t come when Joel stands, fully clothed with a hard foot planted into Matthew’s naked back. Something about this exhibition sends a wave of heat between your thighs.

“If you try that shit again, I won’t be as patient. You understand?”

“Yes,” Matthew sputters against the ground.

“Now, keep your arms out in front of you just like that, and if I so much as see ‘em twitch I will get to flayin’ you with a blunt knife, startin’ from your fingertips.”

Matthew makes a noise that you think can only convey a distraught understanding. You inspect the loops and knots across his body, never truly trusting that it’s enough to keep him contained. Before you work yourself up with worry, Joel walks past you to the pile of tools, plucks one of them up, and returns to your side with it. A flash of light catches against the head of a hammer.

“Let’s show this bastard what puttin’ his hands ‘round your neck gets him.”

Just like he had with the knife, Joel braces himself against you and positions you over Matthew’s outstretched hands, cupping the handle of the tool in your grasp. A visible tremor shakes Matthew’s entire body, but he doesn’t dare move his arms despite knowing what’s coming. To his credit, he doesn’t scream too loud with the first several blows of the metal tool against the delicate bones in his fingers. They bend in unnatural contours after each strike, bits of stark white peeking through gnarled, ripped sinew and flesh.

The shrill din in your ears drowns out his suffocated gasps. Even when Joel helps you stand again, your knees stuck in a tremulous lock, you barely make out his instruction to drive your foot down as hard as you can. His arm curls insistently against your ribcage, holding you upright, coaxing you into delivering the violent stampede of your sole into Matthew’s already ruined appendages. The faint, sickening crunch with each strike, the soft gurgle of blood and liquid as his bone tears through where it hasn’t been crushed already. You start to feel lightheaded and sick when Joel finally pulls you away and sets you in the chair again.

Sound comes slowly back into focus, but you don’t hear what sorts of things Joel is saying to Matthew as he crouches over his pitiful, slumped body. You can only imagine it’s the adrenaline keeping him going right now. Your expression pinches when you see Joel free Matthew of all the ties he’d carefully formed not too long ago. Or maybe it had been longer than you thought. This entire room existed in a vacuum as far as your mind was concerned. It felt as though nothing existed outside these four walls. All that existed was here and now in this moment of wrath and retribution.

Joel’s hands are warm against your face. “Hey there,” he says softly, quietly, with a small smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. He’s bent in front of you, eyes traveling across your expression and taking in every indication of your wellbeing. “Remember if it’s too much, we can–”

“No,” you grit out. The resolve to see this through gives another wind of life. “Keep going.”

Joel’s eyebrow ticks up. “You sure about that? You were lookin’ a little pale back there.”

You shrug. “Not used to this. That’s all.”

He gives you a sympathetic grin and rubs his hands along your bare thighs. You’d forgotten you were only half-dressed. “You promised you’d tell me if it’s too much.”

“It’s not if I’m with you.”

His whole face softens, tender and visceral in the way it reaches out to you and pulls you closer. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” You rest your hands over his where his thumbs rub small circles. “So tell me what we do next. Help me finish this.”

And with no pretense, he ushers you up from the seat and slowly over to where Matthew lays quietly on the floor. “You wanna know what I told him?” he breathes into your ear. The wet of Matthew’s eyes glisten from where he looks up at you. The fabric gag is in his mouth again, although he is entirely unbound. You wonder what it is that Joel said to have him not daring to move again. “Told him he had to come first or I’d start breakin’ the rest of him, piece by piece, bone by bone.”

“Come first? What do you–”

“Hold onto me,” is the only warning you get before Joel is crouched behind you, reaching a hand between your legs and pulling you backward against him. Your body naturally falls open, limbs askew, as you lean into him. His fingers are thick where they breach into your bloodied entrance, still wet with your earlier release.

You quickly figure out he’s working you at such an odd angle with a distinct purpose. The pleasant but unmistakable friction against your g-spot has your legs shaking in anticipation.

“Better get to work. She’s already gettin’ close,” Joel taunts.

To your horror, Matthew drags his mangled hands across the soft length between his thighs in some warped deference to Joel’s warning that he has to reach climax before you do. The gag in his mouth isn’t substantial enough to drown out his anguished sobs. A harsh pinch to your nipple snaps your attention back to Joel. “You focus right here, sweet girl,” he husks. “You show me how good I make you feel, huh?”

You squeak out a moan when he rolls your other nipple between his nimble touch. “Ohmygod,” you breathe.

“Mmmhhmmmm,” he chuckles low against your temple. “ Mmmhhmmm, yeah, there she is.”

His fingers work you faster and harder until you’re right on the cusp, closed off the rest of the world with just Joel’s voice goading you to finish. You come with a hard jerk and grab onto his solid forearm as he positions you over Matthew. It comes out of you in steady spurts, the debauched splash of your fluids landing onto Matthew’s bare body and into the valleys and gashes you’d carved into it.

He seizes up, eyes slipping into the back of his skull. You don’t have a moment to consider the acidity of it in his open wounds, how it must make it burn and aggravate the already sensitive gashes, before Joel’s hands are everywhere on you. His voice is urgent when he says he has to have you right now. You say yes because even though your body can’t take any more of it, you want whatever he’s willing to give. You want all of him, to be swallowed whole by his want, to cave into the summon of his body and his mind.

The metallic clink of his belt and rough shove of fabric. You’re practically floating. He lines himself up and pushes in, already panting and sounding close. You cling to him where you can as he begins thrusting. The split of him stings in all the best ways, and you welcome the anchoring sensation of it. “Feel so–hhngg god- feel so fuckin’ good,” he chokes.

Your feeble moan only encourages his steady pace, filling you and spreading you and molding you to him. “I want it inside,” you whimper.

Joel gives a pained groan at your request, his hips stuttering for a moment at the visual. “Yeah? Want me to come inside you again? You like that? Like being full of me?”

You make some unintelligible noise that you hope conveys your affirmation. His gravelly moan works you towards another climax, but the roll of his hips begins to falter. You know he’s close. His body drapes over yours and pushes you both closer to the ground, nearer to the strung out stare that Matthew has in between squeezing his eyes shut tight as they’ll go.

“Oh fuck, please, Joel.” You want to be marked by him, want to be hued by the color of him spilling over into you, the tones and shades of him bleeding into you and staining into one flush of congruency. “Please, I need you,” you cry out.

He empties into you with a ragged moan as you clutch to him and find purchase with your other hand against the erratic rise and fall of Matthew’s chest. The warmth of Joel surrounds you and spills out of you with each sloppy thrust until he’s laying a path of lax, wet kisses along the column of your throat. “Love you. I love you.” He says it over and over like a mantra, breathless and in reverence that you’re his.

And you love him back more fiercely than you might ever be able to put into words. You look down at the man who’d wronged you all the while feeling the protective presence of Joel behind you. This is how it was meant to turn out, you think. A bookend to the first time you and Joel came together. A thought about that first time strikes you.

“I wanna do it like that first time,” you whisper with a turn of your head.

Joel hums in approval and gathers you closer to him. His hand slips lower in silent understanding, cupping your sex as he drags himself out of you. The mixture of his cum, your slick, and your period blood rush out of your entrance and into his curved palm. Joel flicks it, and you watch as it lands with a wet slop against Matthew’s face. Far from the fearful retreat you’d dwelled in so long, a righteous indignation swells in your chest. You lean into it with Joel’s help, letting him guide you into this new side of yourself, one that’s safe to explore and execute with him by your side.

You don’t feel the need to slap Matthew more than once with the handful of fluids. Joel is only satisfied once he’s struck him several times more and spit in his face for good measure. You aren’t sure if Matthew has finally given up or if the blood loss is starting to catch up with him. His responses are coming shorter and weaker.

Joel gets himself situated again before helping you get dressed. You’re sure it’s a sight to see, all the blood and grime and fluids covering you and your clothes. When you tell him you want Matthew brought outside, Joel gives you a dubious look but doesn’t question it. You look on as Matthew hobbles naked up the stairway, down the hallway, and past a curious John and Tommy who follow along outside. You glance around for what you need, finding it on the most level table in the front living area, and head into the cool night air.

No one asks about you and Joel’s disheveled, bloodied state. All eyes are on you for direction. What happens to Matthew is your call, just like Joel said. He holds Matthew at gunpoint, almost comical in the level of overkill. He’s bleeding, naked, and struggling to stay upright. Even if everyone understands he’s not going to survive, you and Matthew both know that the last thing he can keep is his pride and die alone without anyone around to witness such a pathetic ending.

“I know that you are probably going to die out there.” You look up the side of the steep ravine and off to the side where darkness and wilderness lie in wait. Everyone shifts at the insinuation that you will give Matthew the gift of privacy in his defeated, lonely death. “But that doesn’t change the fact that you haven’t asked for my forgiveness. So, I’m offering you the chance to make that right.”

Matthew whimpers, not yet free to die alone and away from prying eyes.

“Beg,” Joel snaps – a singular, harsh warning.

Matthew meets your eye. He looks genuinely remorseful. “I never–I never deserved you.” You give him the time he needs to power through. He’s already lost enough blood to make just speaking and holding himself upright at the same time physically taxing. You can’t imagine the mental toll. “I know if you told them to kill me, they would.” He pauses to glance Joel’s direction. “I could’ve become a different person. A better person.” He sputters and coughs again. “ You could’ve done that for me - helped me get there.”

Tears flow. Real tears. Sincere tears from a monstrous man. A man who seems to have finally come to realize things could’ve been different if he wanted them to be. He sniffs and coughs and whimpers.

“I can’t ever change how I was—” he pauses to take a wheezing gulp of air “—I can’t go back and undo it. I’m sorry.”

He shakes his head, fat lines of tears splashing off his face.

“I know your heart is– it’s the biggest– you have so much love—”

He pauses again and steadies his labored breaths.

“If anyone had enough heart to forgive someone like me, I know it’s you.”

He holds your gaze, steady and unwavering. He means it.

“Please, please. Forgive me.”

You look at the brutalized, broken man before you, weeping and begging for your exoneration. You glance at Joel who is already watching you with a pensive expression. You look back down at Matthew. He hasn’t looked away from you as he awaits his fate.

“You haven’t earned my forgiveness, and you never will.”

Your scathing verdict hits colder than the nighttime air. Matthew’s eyes bug out, wide and terrified. You think you hear Tommy laugh. “Put him in the pit,” you command. You jerk your head towards the unlit firepit at the edge of the dense treeline.

John and Joel happily cart Matthew, flailing and fighting with the vigor that is somehow miraculously still fueling his will to live, as Tommy trains the gun on him. They heave him into the hollowed out recess and await your next decree. Matthew is screaming and clawing at the walls. You think if he weren’t so badly injured he would be able to easily get himself out. His current state, however, renders him confined to the small circular space. Your hands shake as you reach into your pocket for the item you grabbed on your way out. A silent mass butts up against your back and steadies your hand. Joel.

“I got you,” he reassures you quietly, softly.

He holds the package in place in your left hand and guides the match in your right hand across the raised pattern of the strike pad. A flash of white settles into a warm orange burn on the end of the match.

“I’ve got you, baby. Go ahead.”

You lean over the pit, over Matthew’s desperate calls for you to not do this, and drop the flame. John grabs something from the side and hands it to Joel. Accelerant. He concentrates the first few spurts onto Matthew’s body before dashing a smaller amount over your flame. He pulls you both back as the fire swirls and shoots and swells from the pit. You close your eyes and lean back into Joel as you all stand and listen to the agonized screams coming from the bottom of the cavity.

Joel pulls you closer to him, pulls you down with him to rest on the stump nearby. The sounds of Matthew’s demise come slower and slower as the blaze consumes him. You turn your body, cradling into Joel’s embrace, and nestle your head against the crook of his neck. It blocks out some of the noise. He dips his head and fills your mouth with the slip of his hot tongue. You drink him in, open wider for him, let him into whatever space of yours he wants. It’s all his. You’re both each other’s. The kiss slows until it’s just lips grazing back and forth. A quiet comfort. A soft soothing. A safe embrace.

“Did I do okay?” you ask in a hush. Joel hears what you’re really asking: Did I do the right thing?

“You did the best you could with what you had, darlin’.”

You nod, mulling over his sage take on your decision to end Matthew’s life. “And was my best good enough?” The last bit comes out in a sort of choke, your emotions getting the better of you.

“You are good enough,” Joel is quick to emphasize. “And it’s high time you started livin’ the life you deserve.”

“I only want that if it’s with you.”

“And I’m up for the challenge of makin’ up for lost time,” he replies with a soft smile.

The tortured cries have died away, lost into the high pitched sound of the wet spots being scorched from the insides of the logs.

“But what about Rachel and the baby?” You fiddle with the button on your shirt. Even though they were better off without Matthew, you still felt the guilt of leaving her with the burden of birthing and raising a child on her own. When he doesn’t respond right away, you turn to Joel. His body is tense with the knowledge of something, another hidden truth.

“Tell me,” you urge him in a hush. “We’ve made it this far. You won’t scare me. Whatever happens, we’re in this together.”

He pulls you closer, some form of self-soothing perhaps, and relents more of the endless dedication he holds for you. “He has no business havin’ a bloodline.” He’s quiet for a moment, weighing something in his mind. Finding the right words. You wait for him, just like he always waits for you. “Won’t be too long now before she turns up to the clinic to find out she’s lost it.”

Lost it.

Lost it?

“You… what does—”

“She won’t know any different. Prolly chalk it up to the stress of everythin’. And she wasn’t hurt in the process, neither, so don’t go thinkin’ I’d–”

“Who did it?”

Joel finally looks at you. “Somebody in the greenhouses owed me. Got a knack for medicinal herb stuff.”

“So–So, what? They made her take something–”

“Nobody made her do anythin’,” he’s quick to correct. “It was mixed in with her food rations. Had the main dose of it prepared in a cafeteria meal she had, too, just in case.” He shrugs. “ Wanted to be sure.”

You swallow hard, not letting the mix of emotions bleed through to your expression. You don’t want Joel to think you don’t trust him, that you’re scared of him, scared of someone who was capable of such a thing - not after everything you’d been through.

“So, you– whoever it was, they gave her something to make the pregnancy fail?” You already know the answer, but you want him to say it.

“Yes.”

You nod, awash in your thoughts and mixed feelings over this splintered arm of a fucked up situation. Joel is unmoving beside you, waiting in anticipation of your blessing or reprimand.

“No part of him exists anymore,” you say. It’s a plain observation, but you both sit in the spoken impact of it. “No part of him exists anymore, and the world is better for it.”

Your body feels weak and raw, but it’s unlike the weight of stress and danger that’s been plaguing you for so long. No, it’s the fragile heap of newness, the tentative foray of new life. Joel holds you close, coddles you, as you both stare wordlessly into the blazing fire. He watches you from the corner of his eye, only shifting when you meet his gaze. Thoughtful. Quiet.

“You ready to go home?”

Home. You smile at the thought of it, the house you now share, but know that home is truly wherever you and Joel are together. He grins back in understanding.

“Yeah,” you softly sigh, content and sleepy. “Let’s go home, Joel.”

Thank you thank you thank you for all the love and patience with this series! I've poured so much into this to get it right and tell the sort of story I feel deserves to be told. I am so proud of it (and that I finally finished it!), and I hope that it can heal parts of you as it did for me when I was writing it.

Many thanks to @jupiter-soups and @ghoulettesinspace for beta'ing and helping see this story come to a close.

Thank you for reading. I love you all. 💜

catch ya later, ♥Puddles♥

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cont'd in comments

#fic: whistle in the dark #joel miller x oc #joel miller fic #pedro pascal characters #cuckolding is romantic #tlou #joel miller tlou

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mybutcheredtongue · 4 months

Text

I'll Love You 'til the Grass Around My Gravestone is Deceased

harry potter timeline sirius black x fem!reader

CHAPTER FOUR (see full series list here)

1992

You awake on a regular Wednesday morning a few days before the return to school, groaning and stretching as you sit up in your queen-sized bed. The sun is streaming in through your windows, and you can hear birds singing their first few melodies of the morning.

You hear a very croaky meow from beside you and you look over to spot Dubh awakening from her slumber, seeming very angry about it being awoken. Dubh's actual bed is resting in the corner of the room, but it has long since been forgotten and she much prefers to sneak up onto your bed covers during the night. This little habit of hers means you've had to deliver a quick cleaning spell to her every night before bed, but you enjoy her company anyways. You reach out and pet her lovingly, scratching under her fluffy chin.

"Yes, yes, good morning, Dubh," you say. You yawn, trying to muster up the will to properly get out of bed, before eventually you manage to swing your legs over the edge of your bed and step onto the soft rug beneath you.

You throw on your favourite pair of jeans and a sweater to accompany it, taking a quick minute to wash your face before heading downstairs and into the kitchen. Dubh follows you the whole time, complaining as she waits for you to get her breakfast.

This is the home you've lived in for the past 13 years. The home yourself and Sirius had bought after you got married. It's small and cosy: exactly how you had wanted. The walls are covered with photo frames and beautiful oil paintings that look straight out of a dream.

The kitchen is charming, especially as it's lit up by the August sun. You push open a window to let some air in, waving your wand to pour out some cat food for Dubh. You click the kettle on and drum your fingers on the countertop as you wait.

At that moment you hear a small hoot and a light thud outside your back door. You leave the kitchen, unlocking the door to open it and spot a small folded package on the front step. It's the newspaper, the Daily Prophet.

You toss the paper on the kitchen table, humming as you prepare breakfast for yourself. Finally, when you've finished, you take your plate in one hand and your ready cup of tea in the other, sitting down at the kitchen table. You pull open the twine wrapped around the paper, unfolding it out.

You nearly spit out your tea when you read the headline of the front page and spot a familiar face.

Sirius.

Sirius Black.

Sirius Black has escaped.

Sirius Black has escaped from Azkaban.

What the fuck.

What the actual fuck.

What the fuck?

You swallow hard, looking at the article again. Your heart is thumping. Your hands are trembling. You feel like you're about to be sick.

BLACK STILL AT LARGE

Sirius Black, possibly the most infamous prisoner ever to be held in Azkaban fortress, is still eluding capture, the Ministry of Magic confirmed today.

'We are doing all we can to recapture Black,' said the Minister for Magic, Cornelius Fudge, this morning, 'and we beg the magical community to remain calm.'

You scoff. Fat fucking chance!

Fudge has been criticised by some members of the International Federation of Warlocks for informing the Muggle Prime Minister of the crisis.

'Well, really, I had to, don't you know,' said an irritable Fudge. 'Black is mad. He's a danger to anyone who crosses him, magic or Muggle. I have the Prime Minister's assurance that he will not breathe a word of Black's true identity to anyone. And let's face it — who'd believe him if he did?'

While Muggles have been told that Black is carrying a gun (a kind of metal wand which Muggles use to kill each other), the magical community lives in fear of a massacre like that of twelve years ago, when Black murdered thirteen people with a single curse.

You feel like you're dreaming. How the hell did he break out?

This article makes you feel so sick. The things they're saying — the things they've always said about him — they're not true. They can't possibly be true.

Sirius would never do that.

Your Sirius would never do that.

Your Sirius who kissed you on the Astronomy Tower.

Your Sirius who proposed to you in your first tiny London flat, lit only by candlelight.

Your Sirius who waited patiently for you at the altar.

Your Sirius who spoke in detail of his undying love for you during his vows.

Your Sirius who gave you the most perfect first dance you could ever ask for.

Your Sirius who spent your wedding night reminding you how much he loved you, gazing at you like you were the most beautiful woman he's ever seen, making sure there wasn't a single patch of skin on your body that went unkissed.

Your Sirius who bought you flowers every week, so the ones on your dining table were always fresh.

Your Sirius.

For twelve years you've maintained the belief that Sirius is innocent. There has got to be another explanation because the Sirius you know would never sell out his friends like that. He would never support Voldemort like that. He would never murder thirteen people like that! It's bullshit.

The Sirius you know would sooner die than rat James and Lily out like that.

Sirius isn't mad, like the way they say in that article.

Or maybe he is.

You wouldn't be surprised if 12 whole years in fucking Azkaban turned him loony.

Suddenly, there's a loud knock at your front door and you startle, dropping the paper.

What if that's him?

You slowly, apprehensively get up out of your chair, carefully walking to the door. You take a deep breath, and place your hand on the handle.

You turn it agonisingly slow and open the door a crack, peering out.

It's not him.

You don't know whether to be relieved or disappointed.

Well, you're definitely not happy anyway, as you're met with Cornelius Fudge and three other Ministry officials.

You gulp.

"Good morning, ma'am," Fudge says. "Can we come in?"

You sigh, nodding. "Yeah, yeah. Of course."

You open the door wide to let them in, wrapping your arms around your torso nervously. They walk into your kitchen, looking around and you gesture to the kitchen table with a nervous smile. "You can sit down there..."

The four of them sit. You notice how Fudge's eyes immediately land on the paper, and he looks quickly back up at you as you lean against the counter, anxiously fiddling with your fingers. Dubh's head lifts from her food bowl, eyeing the newcomers suspiciously.

"Tea, coffee?" You ask, forcing a smile.

The officials glance at each other, as if deciding whether or not it's safe to accept a drink from you.

"Um...no thanks," one squeaks, looking up at you fearfully.

You sigh.

"Ah, so you've evidently heard the news..." Fudge starts, tapping the paper with one of his large, pudgy fingers.

You nod wordlessly.

"Is it a...surprise?" he asks.

You blink at him. "Yes, Minister, of course it's a surprise. I hardly expected him to break out of bloody Azkaban."

"Yes, yes, it is a shock to all of us," Fudge replies, eyes glancing over at the wedding photo on your countertop. "Have you...heard from him? At all?"

"No."

"It's just that you are his wife, you would be the first person he'd run to."

You raise your eyebrows, folding your arms. "Oh? I would've thought you'd expect him to run to Voldemort?"

They all wince at the name.

Fudge sighs, trying to keep his composure. "Look, regardless of your personal feelings on the matter, Black is a criminal and — "

"You have no proof — "

"He is a convict!" Fudge snaps. "Regardless of whether you believe it to be wrongful or not, he is a convict! If you see him, you must contact the Ministry. The magical community is in shambles with him on the loose. People are afraid."

You scoff. "The magical community has been in shambles for centuries."

Fudge ignores your statement, standing up from his chair unsteadily. "We will have to monitor your home, in case he decides to...visit."

"Shocker."

"We — uh, we'll be going now," Fudge says semi-certainly, motioning for the others to follow. They all stand, narrowly avoiding you as they exit the kitchen. You see one woman flinch when you move. You feel a hand on your shoulder, looking up to see Fudge's red, fudgy face looking at you pitifully. "I am truly sorry, dear. Remember what I said."

You watch as the party leaves and you shut the door behind them. You groan, running your hand through your hair as you slide down the door and sink to the ground.

Dubh appears around the corner, plodding over to you. You smile weakly at her, petting her softly. You feel your eyes starting to water and you sniffle, lip trembling.

You shake your head in disbelief.

"What am I gonna do?"

⁠✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

You wave your wand, levitating your heavy trunk up onto the overhead carriage of your train compartment. Most teachers don't take the Hogwarts Express — they just apparate to Hogsmeade instead — but you find that apparition tends to distress Dubh immensely and don't do it. You don't mind it really, the train ride gives you that little bit of extra time to look over lesson material.

Lucky for you, you have the compartment to yourself and freely let Dubh out of her carrier. She stretches with a long meowl, moving to settle on your lap, and you spend the ride reading a book and looking over lesson material, though your mind keeps drifting from what you're doing, choosing instead to fixate on Sirius.

You have a sickening seed of guilt and worry circling your gut ever since you heard of his escape, an overwhelming sense of dread looming over everything you do.

Heavy rain pelts the window harshly, wind battering the sides of the train, rattling it loudly.

You glance out the window pensively, wondering what he must be doing right now. Maybe he's been recaptured and you just haven't found out yet. You hope he's not out in this weather.

If sixteen-year-old Sirius had been caught out in torrential rain, he'd be busy complaining to you about how it completely ruined his hair and you'd just have to listen on and on because truthfully, you liked his hair after the rain.

The train starts to slow and you sigh, starting to pack up your things. Then, your eye catches the window and you squint out into the dark surroundings. You're not in Hogsmeade — you're not even close to it. You've been on this train enough times to know that you have a solid 20 minutes or so left in the journey.

Maybe there's something blocking the track and you'll all just have to continue on foot?

Hardly.

You stand up, gently plucking Dubh from your lap and placing her onto the seat beside you. You slide open the compartment door and stick your head out, looking up and down the hallway. You know well that Professor Flitwick is inside along with some of the Prefects so you step out, closing the door behind you and moving to their compartment.

You open the door and look in at Flitwick and three students, shiny silver badges on their chests. "Hey, Filius. What's going on?"

Flitwick shrugs, straining his neck to see up out the window. "I don't know."

You bite your lip, turning around uncertainly. "I'll ask the driver."

Suddenly, the train stops with a jolt and you stumble into the wall beside you, knocking your head against one of the flickering lanterns. You groan, bringing a hand to rub at the sharp stinging in your temple.

You try to make your way up the carriage but before you can the lights extinguish with a small puff and you're plunged into darkness. Rooting around in your pocket, you fish out your wand and mutter, "Lumos." A small bead of white light appears at the tip, illuminating a short distance in front of you.

To your horror, you look up and are met with a dark cloaked figure that towers to the ceiling. Its face is completely hidden beneath its hood. You feel your breath hitch in your throat as the room grows cold, freezing cold, making the hairs on your arms stand up.

A Dementor.

"He's not here," you choke, but it doesn't seem to matter as the dementor draws a long, slow, rattling breath. "He — he's not — "

You feel an immediate sadness overwhelm you. You feel every stitch of joy being sucked from you, your body desperately trying to cling on to whatever it can. You hear Sirius' voice, screaming raw and pleading, and it feels like the pain in your head is magnified a billion times.

Before your last stretch of consciousness can escape from you, you grip your wand tighter and, summoning all your will and happiest memories, you yell, "EXPECTO PATRONUM!"

A bright, blue light bursts forth from your wand, taking on the form of large, scruffy dog and chasing the Dementor as it glides away from you. You stumble back, chest heaving, placing a hand on the wall for support, before remembering about the rest of the students and you turn, sprinting back down the corridor to the other carriages.

You throw open the door, moving quickly as you throw glances in each compartment window, checking that everyone was alright. Was there only one?

As you continue down the corridor, you look in one compartment and see the back of a tall figure blocking your view. You breathe a sigh of relief when you see it's not a Dementor, and slowly slide open the door to poke your head in, trying to carefully look past the figure in front of you.

"Hey guys, everyone okay? I think — Remus?" You stare in shock at the tired face of Remus Lupin, currently holding a gigantic slab of chocolate in his hands, loudly snapping it into pieces. "What are you doing here?"

Beside him is Harry, Ron, and Hermione, looking between the two of you in surprise. Harry is as pale as a ghost, his hair messy and untidy.

"Guess I took your advice," Remus shrugs, handing everyone pieces of chocolate. He hands one to you and you accept it gratefully, biting off a piece with a loud crack. "Taking up the Defense Against the Dark Arts position."

You grin. "Remus, that's brilliant!" You throw your arms around him and he chuckles, tapping your back softly.

You pull back, noticing Harry's shell-shocked face and turn to him in concern. "Harry, are you alright? You don't look too good."

"Dementor," Remus explains and you nod in understanding.

"There was one in my carriage too!" You say. "Bastards."

"Language."

"What? It's true!" You say in defense, looking back at Remus' unapproving face. You glance at the three thirteen-year-olds also present in the compartment with you. "Er — sorry, guys."

"I'm going to go talk to the driver," Remus announces, tossing a small bite of chocolate into his mouth.

You nod. "Alright, I'll go check on everyone else." Remus moves past you, but before he can go in the opposite direction to you up the train, you grab onto his arm. "Next time, tell me if you're coming. Could've saved me a very boring train ride."

Remus chuckles. "I was asleep the whole time, not sure if I'd be great company."

You just give him a knowing smile, heading down to the carriage to check on the other students.

→ all kinds of interaction appreciated ♡

⁠✧⁠*⁠。✧⁠*⁠。

->-> read chapter five here!

p.s. it's easy to miss grammar/spelling mistakes when im editing it myself, so if you find any please let me know!! 💌

#sirius black x reader #sirius black x you #sirius black #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #hp fanfic #the marauders #marauders #angst #angst with a happy ending

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evilwickedme · 10 months

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This wasn't asked for because nobody in their right mind would ask for this but this is a fic rec list of fics I cannot stop rereading

Just started yet another reread of Inimitable Verse by deniigiq and I fully plan on rereading their into the multiverse series which occasionally crosses over also - this is a Spider-Man/team red focused series, think comics canon infused early mcu-spidey since only homecoming had come out for a non substantial amount of time they were working on the series and the daredevil stuff is explicitly tv show AND comics. Also the multiverse series is how I got into Murderdock and therefore how I got into Spider Gwen

Unpretty's Sorrowful And Immaculate Hearts series which is just a loosely interconnected series of DC fics. My personal favorites are Empty Graves, in which Martha Kent keeps killing time travelers trying to kill baby! Clark; any of their clois fics but especially Third Wheel; and Anti-Social, which is a social media fic mostly about Tim and Bruce that made me cry laughing. Catch Bruce trying to get Walmart's employees to unionize. Also shout out to unpretty's only fic with Jason in it, it looks awesome but is tragically incomplete

This particular Reverse Robin AU which put in the work to reverse every single younger generation and is chef's kiss I LOVE this version of Tim he's wild

Both of Shoalsea's fics are in constant rotation for me I talk about Into The Brighter Night all the time in the tags of reblogs and stuff it truly lives in my head rent free. Anyway Tim gets kidnapped by aliens and the batfam have to watch as yj98 saves him and it's angsty and funny and such a good take on what could have been if the new 52 hadn't happened. And Compassion Builds No House is about Tim and Pru from Red Robin. Ugh they're both so good

Speaking of Clois (I did you've just forgotten this by now) brilliant (like a confession) by kathkin (penny-anna on the hellsite) is so fucking good I'm. Okay. Anyway it'll be listed as inspiration if/when I finally post my two person love triangle fic for them

I'm too anxious to catch up on this before it's done but jumble sale chic is hands down the best spideydevil fic series despite and because of the omegaverse

Make A Little Birdhouse In Your Soul is my favorite take on Jason, period, and has a lot of fantastic Damian stuff going on too. It's updating every few weeks still! Sometimes more often! I love you bacondoughnut it's me JustGail the person who will not stop commenting on your fic you're stuck with me forever

I lied above Rumspringa Murderdock is what got me into Murderdock but that series is second place. I found this one while scrolling through the tv show's mattfoggy tag, thinking I was safe

Speaking of Murderdock mattfoggy, The Lawyer All the Wickedness was written early on in spider-gwen's history and so diverges from canon really early in ways that I think are super interesting and creative

Oh also straight on 'til morning by merils (Tumblr url mamawasatesttube) does SUCH a great job unpacking Kon's trauma and building up healthy relationships around him including a budding timkon romance and yeah it makes me sad and happy at the same time

We're getting into poisonivory territory so just trust if you like the pairing and poisonivory is writing it you'll like it. Ok rapidfire

Like A Handprint On My Heart mattfoggy soulmate au with a twist

Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow? Damijon future fic/au. Jon came back from the future when both of them were 19. Demisexual!Damian at its best. Damian's terrified of being abandoned by Jon again and it made my heart hurt

I feel like I've already recommended every JayRoy fic by poisonivory and genuinely I do reread them all, sometimes in order of publication if I'm in a particular mood. Maybe the one I've read most though is I've Got the Feeling You're the Right Thing After All which is about Roy and Jason starting a fwb thing while Roy still harbors old feelings for Dick. Can't see anything going wrong here lmao

Mmm this post is long enough so I'll leave it at just superhero fic for now but I do in fact have the ability to do a whole post just for the Witcher or Leverage so I might do that. Anyway thanks for following me on yet another burst of insanity it will happen again

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elliesmainhoe · 1 year

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Protector

Knight!Ellie X Princess!Reader

Summary: After sneaking out, Ellie protects you from some unwanted attention.

Contents: sneaking out, getting drunk, reference to prostitution, Ellie murdering a creepy man, violence, comfort and fluff.

My Masterlist

You were bored. So unbelievably earth-shatteringly bored. Life as a princess fucking sucked, every day the same. Sit on the council, talk to suitors who you had no interest in and then see your perfect girlfriend. It was getting so bad that lines would blur and you would forget what day it was.

But, you never felt comfortable complaining about it. You were a princess for fuck sake! Gold, jewels, dresses, palaces, banquets, you had it all. The only person you had to talk to about anything was Ellie.

Ellie was a knight and a damn good one at that. She had fought in wars, killed people, almost been killed herself, it seemed ridiculous to complain about your champagne problems to her.

But your head felt as if it was about to explode and it got worse every second you stayed trapped inside the confined walls of the palace. And that's how you found yourself here, saddling up your horse, wearing a deep blue cloak and ready to ride into town by yourself... In the middle of the knight.

Maybe not your brightest idea. But you were too commited now anyways, no turning back. You put your feet in the horses stirrups and hoisted yourself into the saddle and your horse, who you had called peanut, began to trot out of the stables.

The sound of your peanuts hooves hitting the dirt ground were drowned out by the ambience of the many taverns that lined the streets. Laughter, cheers and people singing echoed through the streets and you felt like you could finally breathe.

You continued down the dirt road u til you stumbled across a small rundown tavern, there were a few people inside but nothing compared to the hoards in the neighbouring bars.

You tied up Peanut nearby, grabbing your satchel and tugging the hood of your cloak down to hide more of your face. You entered the warmly light alehouse and took a beeline for the bar.

"One larger please" you said, trying to speak up, to put on the facade that you were confident and definitely not out our of your element.

" 15 shillings" a gruff deep voice said to you. Sending you a conspicuous look. You opened the brown leathers satchel before fishing out what he had asked for sliding it towards him, silently.

He grunted in acknowledgement before he turned around to fix up your order. Your eyes drifted towards a group of loud people, dancing and cheering at a bard who was plucking his lyre and singing about adventures he had been on.

You loved this. Your people, being people. Laughing, dancing, talking. It reminded you that they weren't just your subjects. They had stories, they lived lives, they had families and friends.

You heard your larger being pushed towards you, so you turned around and began sipping still looking over at the group of people.

"Hey you girl!" An older woman's voice came from the group of people she looked around 40 years old. "Come join us!"

You picked up your pint and walked closer to the group who were laughing at something the bard had sung. The older woman that had a kind face, dimpled cheeks and dull blonde gestured for you to sit on the stool next to her.

"Hello dear, what are you doing out here hm? It's dangerous for a young girl like you to be out and about at this time, especially while wearing such a fine cloak." She said gesturing to the plain but rich and clean material.

"oh-uh, thank you... But I assure you I'm safe, I shan't stay out long anyways." You mutter, a smile finding its way easily onto your face.

"hmm that's good, you mustn't be older than 20, are you? " You shake your head, agreeing with her. "I take it your a lords daughter trying to get away from life for a moment? No working man could buy his daughter such a beautiful cloak"

"yeah, something like that anyways" "Well, let's make sure that it was worth sneaking out for then, huh? Play my favourite Barry" she stated to the bard who was now looking at her with a sweet smile. Only now noticing the two had matching rings. Huh, cute.

"course Angela..."

******

You were drunk, so so so so drunk. It had only been two hours, but the drinks became stronger and you downed them quicker. You had danced with the group of people for a while and learnt that Angela and Barry owned this pub and lived on the floor above it.

"Honey, I think you should get going now. You have to sneak back in before someone notices your gone" Angela's smile didn't reach her eyes, a little sad that you had to depart. But you knew you had to.

After bidding them all goodbye, you left the small cozy tavern and trekked towards Peanut, who was now laying down next to the post he was tethered too.

"Hey sweet boy~ miss me?" You hummed and nuzzled into his mane before mounting his saddle. Your head began spinning when peanut began trotting home, your eyes blurred and went in and out of focus.

You felt sick, the motion of peanuts movements combined with the copious amounts of alcohol you had consumed was a lethal combination. A large group of men laughing and joking stepped out Infront of your horse, startling both you and peanut.

"Oh I'm sorry miss. We didn't see you there" one of them slurred coming too close to you.

"How much for a night with you sweetheart?" One yelled, "I'm not a whore" you whispered back a little out of it due to your intoxicated state.

"Oh come on darling~" one cooed at you trying to push past the other men and tried to touch your leg. "We'll pay you double what your usual clients-" a cough erupted from his throat as blood filled his mouth.

Ellie had slit his throat. Thank God for her. The other men seemed to get the message and scattered of quickly.

"You alright my love?" She spoke softly to you, she hummed when she only got a nod in response "men are pigs." She scoffed and rolled her eyes, her eyes light up when she saw a slight twitch in your lips.

"cmon, scooch forward baby. I left shimmer in the stables, can be more stealthy that way." You did as she said, Ellie quickly mou ted from behind you, her lean body pressed up against your back as she wrapped her arms around you to grab the reins.

"y'know love, you don't have to sneak out, you can just tell me and I'll come with you. Promise I won't tattle on you."peanut began to trot and one of her hands let go of the reins so she could Interlock her pinky with yours before picking them back again.

"You drunk a lot love. I was watching from outside, making sure you were alright and all that. And my god! You were downing drinks like a champ. Very impressive, I should sneak you into a party that the knights throw, bet you could drink them under the table."

The ride continued on like that, Ellie making one sided conversation, complimenting and talking to you like usual, even when you slowly drifted in and out of sleep she kept talking.

By the time she reached the palace stables you were fast asleep, she lifted you off the saddle and Into her arms as she carried you back into your chambers and layed you on the soft mattress.

She quickly got out of her armour and creeped under the blankets next to you, her arms draped over your stomach and she kissed your forehead sweetly.

"Goodnight, my love."

NOT PROOFREAD

#ellie williams fic #ellie williams #ellie williams x fem!reader #ellie williams x female reader #ellie williams x reader #lesbian #the last of us #ellie x reader #lesbian fic #wlw #knight!ellie williams #knight!ellie #knight au #ellie x y/n #ellie x fem reader #princess!reader #knight!ellie x princess!reader #elliesmainhoe

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sir-robyn · 11 months

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guys I’m here to talk about an AU for once wow

*holds up my Lloyd-was-never-taken-in-by-the-ninja-AU* my dear friends, you may be thinking, ‘wow, Robyn, that sounds like an angsty AU with lore and plot and all the shit that most AUs probably have!’ Well no, sorry to shit on your ideas but this is 100% pure brain damage and sugar. What if Lloyd was never taken in by the ninja but make it fit cannon. Lloyd’s a fucking idiot. He’s a lil man. A lil baby man and a child and he will never grow up if I have anything to say about it.

after Pythor betrays him, lil Lloyd Monty G gets picked up by Uncle Wu and the stoopid ninja and he gets offered to stay. Lloyd goes ‘lmao suck it boomer absolutely fucking not’ and Wu decides that kids are difficult and if Lloyd doesn’t want to stay then he won’t make him. He knows Lloyd will probably run away in the night, so he leaves him a lil green rucksack with a few blankets, spare shoelaces, money and enough food rations to last him several weeks. Lloyd takes it when he runs away.

now, angst potential there, but why the fuck would I use it lmao. After being betrayed by the snakes he decides that he wants another army, but one that will actually listen to him. So he gets an army of Skulkin and the ninja beat the shit out of them. And then an army of pirates and the ninja beat them up too. Anyways for the next like 7 years of his life he goes back and forth with the ninja, just fucking around and summoning armies to fight for him. He starts to enjoy it actually and so do the ninja, they get into this kinda mortal-enemies-but-ur-cool-do-u-want-to-get-burgers-with-us-later kinda thing. Lloyd’s 16 by now btw, the ninja are like 24 and he always calls them old men and says they’re getting creaky and Samurai X switches between helping Lloyd and helping the ninja and they’re all having a good time. Also he still has his dogwater haircut, if anything the bowl cut somehow looks worse

and then Lloyd decides he wants an army of ghosts. Wow, holy shit, he ends up summoning Morro. Not the army he’d hoped for, but Morro’s a character and Lloyd thinks he’s really cool and they go round terrorising villages and shit together

and then Morro realises that Lloyd is fighting Wu. Finally, shit takes a dark turn and Morro tries to manipulate Lloyd into killing Wu and stuff, but I’m not talking about that yet cause it’s only stoopid vibes til then.

think imma call it the Greencousins In Crime AU but idk yet :P

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autisticshadowthehedgehog · 3 days

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Knuckles Arc Anon here for the third and final time, there's a few lore decisions that I just remembered that confuse me.

1.Pachamac's character being completely different. I'm aware Sonic and friends are slightly different than their game versions but there's still the essence of them. Like Sonic still keeps his basic core concept of being a representation of the average teen/kid for example and extreme oversimplication. But Pachamac, I have no problems with Knuckles not being related to him or Pachamac not being from thousands of years in the past. My issue is him being a completely different character especially with the context of movie 2.

Like in the games Pachamac is a bloodthirsty asshole who's desire for power led to the destruction of his empire, unleashing an ancient god, and eventually the extinction of all Echidna. Which knowing the lore in movie 2 would be perfect and easy to adapt (u could ignore Chaos for now)

Why is he chill? It's not even hinted at that he died with regrets and wished he made the right decisions in life to explain this massive change in personality. Personally my theory was while watching is that Pachamac was slowly going to be revealed as being a terrible person who would try to force Knuckles to stick in his warrior mindset.

2. Knuckles who was probably a child or preteen being able to kill or seal Iblis... I'm sorry what? Unless Solaris being split apart just instantly lowered the power levels even more in the movieverse this completely fucks with the power scaling. And normally I don't care about this but this is beyond suspension of disbelief. Like yeah the Echidna tribe warred with the owls since they got the Master Emerald but Knuckles didn't even have the Emerald or all the necessary combat training at like 6? Also Knuckles didn't even use his fire powers in Movie 2 but I think we are left to assume it was part of his quest to get the Master Emerald but we are shown he didn't eve need it.

3. Knuckles was gone at minimum for a few days and Maddie calls him her kid. Why is she not blowing up Wade's phone looking for her kid? Set up suggests him being grounded would come back around but guess not?

i dont think i got ur second ask but yeah. I DO feel like SOMETHING's being set up with Pachacamac, considering they made him specifically the bitch who shot Longclaw in the 2020 movie. I don't think they completely forgot his personality but they were setting something off that either didn't get paid off or hasn't been paid off yet.

Another thing I would have really liked from this series would've been more acknowledgement that Knuckles is a child. He's about 15 when this series takes place. He shouldn't be thinking like this, Sonic's right he should be playing video games and reading comic books. Once again I feel like the first ep was setting that shit up and then they just. Forgot.

but anyway that's enough negativity lmao i just woke up with some awful cramps so im gonna watch the second movie til i pass out

#knuckles spoilers

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fishing-lesbian-catgirl · 1 year

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Gears aren’t robots they are beings made of cells that are infused with magic known as gear cells. However magic in guilty gear works kind of like computer programming and Dizzy and the Valentine Gears were created by what is essentially an evil AI in magic dimension that influences the real world. Ramlethal talks and acts like a robot but none of the other sapient gears do that (I think she’s autistic, it makes her character make more sense and makes me happy to think this).

As for Sol’s girlfriend that takes a bit of backstory. Sol, Aria, and Asuka were friends and scientists studying the applications of magic after it was given to humanity (even longer story). They all developed the first gear cells. Sol and Aria were dating (maybe engaged I don’t remember) when Aria was revealed to have a terminal illness with no cure. Asuka tried to get Aria to go into cryosleep til they found a cure, but she didn’t want to miss out on time with Sol. So Asuka implanted the gear cells into Sol to turn him immortal (without asking first btw), making him the first gear. Since Sol would still be alive when she woke up, Aria agreed to go into cryosleep. But then it was revealed that US government was making super weapons (mindless gears they could control) to use for imperialism purposes using the gear cell research that the 3 of them did. So Asuka created a powerful super gear named Justice that had the power to control other gears, but for some reason he used Aria’s body as the base of the robot. Then the evil AI from the magic dimension took over Justice, blew up Japan*, and waged war on all humanity with the many gears the US government had made. The war took 100 years, but finally ended with Sol killing Justice.

Then a few years later, Testament, who had died in the war and was turned into a gear for some reason, hosted a fighting tournament as a trick to use the blood spilled in combat to resurrect Justice (don’t question it). They succeeded, so Sol had to fight and kill Justice again. Then years later another conspiracy to resurrect Justice happened and Sol was one of the people involved with destroying Justice once and for all. Also during that last Justice event, Jack-O Valentine, a gear made with the DNA, some memories, and half the soul of Aria, was able to take the other half of Aria’s soul from Justice, and now she’s Sol’s girlfriend. Although Jack-O isn’t actually Aria, she just has her soul and some of her memories, but Sol loves her anyway for who she is <3

#guilty gear

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kinnporsche · 1 year

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here’s yet another kinn & porsche rec list! just like with the first two, this list is ordered according to length (from longest to shortest), and each is written by a different author! also, all currently incomplete fics have been marked with (wip). listen, when i tell you kp fics are literally piggybacking me through this year, i mean that shit. there are an insane amount of talented people in this fandom, we’re honestly so blessed. anyway, please be sure to read the tags, and show the authors some love! [part 3/?]

— echoes in my dreams by nuwildcat – explicit / 92k words

It’s been 10 years since the first Kaiju attack, humanity built the Jaeger program to fight them, and Kinn Annakin Theerapanyakun is one of the top Jaeger Pilots in the world. There’s just one problem—none of his co-pilots have lasted past a year with him. Enter Porsche Pachara Kittisawat. Somehow, this disaster of a bartender with no Drift experience shakes Kinn’s understanding of the Drift and changes humanity’s fate at the same time. Well, as long as Kinn doesn’t kill him first.

— instinct by thewayside – explicit / 90.5k words (wip)

Not everyone has an instinct, an animal self that lives inside a person, born from their souls and forged to live in their flesh. Hundreds of years ago it was common to have bears, rabbits, fish, and lions, a menagerie of animals—but now, as time and dilution of bloodlines has increased, the most common thing to have is nothing at all.

— two shots by martynax – explicit / 81.8k words

“So I’m supposed to end a mafia dispute?”

“Something like that,” he mutters, wondering if he’s making a mistake, revealing it to Porsche so soon. Nothing is set in stone, after all. But he has a gut feeling that the man appreciates honesty and simplicity much more than intrigue and schemes.

“Then why don’t you kill him yourself?” Porsche questions, but that is going to stay a secret from him for now. He won’t give Porsche ammunition to get away from the deal. If he says he’s trying to keep it a secret from his father, he could find a way to get in contact with him and fuck things up for Kinn. It may be far-fetched but Kinn’s not taking any chances.

“How about you answer one of my questions?” He asks, cocking his head slightly to the side.

“Oh? You show me yours, I show you mine?” Porsche teases him. The raised corner of his mouth and the twinkling in his eyes makes it clear he’s making allusions to their dicks.

“I know mine is bigger, there’s no need to compare. You would just embarrass yourself,” Kinn tells him with a smirk of his own, helpless against the pull Porsche seems to have on him. Porsche laughs, clearly surprised at the comment.

— ‘til the fever broke by vesna (mrsronweasley) – explicit / 63.6k words

In a world where having a sex slave is a status symbol, Kinn’s father gifts him with a slave.

— stumbling to the edge ‘series by firerisingoverthehills – mature / 51.4k words

Kinn doesn’t kiss. He just doesn’t. Not since Tawan and how that whole shitshow ended. Porsche must read something on his face, because he actually bridges the gap between them. He sets a hand on the seat next to Kinn’s thigh and leans into his space. His knee is up on the seat, the other leg hanging off it. He leans in close enough that Kinn can feel his steady breaths on his face.

Kinn is going to tell him. He’s going to lay down the rules. Tell him that he doesn’t kiss. That he doesn’t like to be challenged. He’s going to—

And then Porsche kisses him and Kinn... Kinn doesn’t stop him.

(Or: An AU where they meet in a slightly different way, Kinn still falls head over heels though.)

— xxx curious straight boy ‘series by mirrorofprinces – explicit / 34.2k words

“Porsche is extremely close to signing. In fact, he has a final meeting with the execs on Monday morning. The only condition is that he wants to request his first partner, and it’s you.”

Kinn takes a long drink of his whiskey, sets the glass down, and runs his tongue over his teeth. “So you had to meet with me, urgently, to tell me that a beautiful boy wants me to fuck him, thinking I’d say no.” He drums his fingers on the bartop. “Which means there’s a catch.”

— the house don’t fall (when the bones are good) by bytherirveriwept – explicit / 11.3k words

The reality of Kinn is at times a grasping, hungry thing even when he is standing still.

(Or: Porsche and Kinn are the Theerapanyakun agency’s best team. They live in each other’s pockets and share their deepest secrets. But when Porsche takes on the role of bait in their latest mission, it throws their entire relationship into a spiral.)

— gone was any trace of you by kurtstiel – explicit / 11.1k words

Kinn is looking at Porsche like he’s seen a ghost. Porsche blinks and the haunted expression is gone, Kinn smoothing it over with something neutral, but there’s still something fragile at the edges of it, like a crystal figurine balanced on a ledge. Kinn’s body relaxes in a way that’s purposefully casual, tucking his outstretched foot back onto the bed.

“You were in the bathroom,” Kinn says. He phrases it like an answer rather than a question.

(Or: Porsche left Kinn in their bed with nothing but a note. In the aftermath of the shootout, Kinn can't stop thinking about it.)

— quis custodiet ipsos custode by concernedlily – explicit / 8.1k words

Porsche props his chin on Kinn’s chest, on his favourite spot in the valley between his pecs, and peers up at him. “Tell me? I’ve never seen you have a nightmare like that.”

He toys with the edge of the bandage wrapped awkwardly around Porsche’s shoulder. It’s a knife wound, scored shallow but long down from his collarbone towards Porsche’s nipple, which is certainly in Kinn’s top ten parts of Porsche’s body and probably top five, and not to be endangered under any circumstances. Porsche had tried to treat it himself and Kinn had dragged him to the medical wing and supervised the stitches and the bandaging himself, mentally cursing out the minor family’s men for a crowd of incompetents the whole time. “Deng. He was… the first bodyguard who died for me.”

— cliff jump ‘series by airgiodslv – explicit / 7.3k words

“You know the rules, then?” Kinn asks.

Porsche looks amused, like he can tell how badly Kinn wants to wreck his composure. “No kissing, no marks on you, bubble bath first,” Porsche recites easily. “I read your notes file.”

Kinn is almost certain Porsche isn’t supposed to tell him the escort agency keeps a notes file.

(Or: An AU in which Kinn requests an escort for the night, and gets Porsche.)

— love on the water, love underwater by butterflylungs – explicit / 7.3k words

The golden light of the sun washes over him, rays catching in his dark hair, caressing his skin. Porsche would do unspeakable things for this man, and the fact that he’s been neglecting him in favor of work bothers him more than he can put into words. He misses Kinn with every breath, with every heartbeat, and he wishes he didn’t have to spend so much time away from him.

(Or: A day off, a surprise trip, and the dreams they’ve had to let go.)

— forward is the doing by daltoneering – explicit / 5.5k words

He exhales an acrid lungful, and opens his eyes. Right here, in the electric scarlet of the evening, they had made their choice. Design had shaped them for too long; now, the broken glass on the floor shimmering like a thousand stars to wish upon, Porsche lives by decision.

The door into the bar spills a shadow out into the light of the yard, and Porsche reaches for Kinn with simple instinct: their hands meet in the gloaming, and Kinn folds himself around Porsche’s side like a coat, or a blanket.

(Or: In the red-blue neon of the lights behind Hum Bar, Kinn and Porsche chose each other—and what better way to explore the meaning of that than through devastatingly tender-horny sex?)

— i’m the only one at the end of the day by kinnpornsche (bloodyinkwells) – explicit / 5k words

“I know this is a revolutionary idea, but maybe you could trust your boyfriend to not be cheating on you every time you see him with another man.”

“What is it from?”

“Instead you just assume I’m a slut,” Porsche barks, and then his voice softens. “When I’ve only ever been loyal to you, and you know it.”

(Or: Porsche flirts with someone for a job. Kinn doesn’t take it well. Porsche talks back.)

— no one does it better by midnightfreeway – explicit / 2.8k words

Kinn takes comfort in being in control. Control is power; control is freedom. It allows him to act on his own initiative. It brings him pleasure in a world where danger lurks around every corner. Kinn has no idea who he would be without it. An empty shell of a man, a puppet with someone else pulling the strings.

But it gets tiring, always having to fight for your own survival.

— cravin’ by yeetlegay – explicit / 1.8k words

It’s only when Kinn is two knuckles deep in Porsche’s ass, his teeth buried in the meat of his thigh, that it occurs to Porsche he probably isn’t that straight.

#kinnporschesource #kinnporsche: the series #kinnporsche #kinn x porsche #fic rec #leila.txt #text #leave some kudos!

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