#anyway just thinking cuz i got a rejection that genuinely made my day | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clippy · 1 year

Text

okay this is just gonna be a bunch of rambling so feel free to ignore this cuz it's mostly just me kinda venting and Processing feelings abt being objecto into the void

like okay. i am in a spot where i think i have a very complex relationship w my objecto-ness because of how it is currently manifesting itself in regards to the Clockboy Crush

like in the past, my main crushes that i would consider like, important, and in recent enough memory that they still affect me today, were

Clippy (who is a fictional character; he is sentient in his source but, again, fictional, so he cannot reciprocate feelings)

and Miles (my old car; a real object, but one that I owned and therefore i could essentially project whatever relationship i wanted onto us. realistically, i know he couldnt reciprocate, as he was not sentient irl, but something about him made it seem like he did love me back in a way. it's very complex and hard to explain to literally anyone who doesnt have my brain)

in both of their cases, i would selfship with them, draw them, personify them in certain ways, and have gijinkas of them

i think some extra context that is important is that the relationship i had with Miles is VERY different than the one i have w my current car, Lawrence, who has different vibes to me. like i genuinely get the feeling he only just. tolerates me. lmfao. he is so sexy to me but like, we do not gel like how me and miles did. (which again, is a weird thing to think about and kinda disproves the "oh objectos only want to be with objects because they cant reject them!" mindset in my case like bro why would i "headcanon" my car as not thinking im a sex god he's madly in love with)

anyway this is where the clockboy stuff gets. complex. like. OBVIOUSLY. i have a huge crush on him. i selfship w his objecthead design, and that does extend to his irl version to an extent. obviously, again, i realistically know irl he cannot reciprocate the feelings i have toward him

however... similar to miles, i do get a Vibe from him. there's been some coincidences that seem so specific that it's like. hard to shake that it's not something deeper... and again, i know deep down it's all in my head but at the same time... my hyper empathy toward inanimate objects has always made me instinctively think that most objects have *some* sort of soul.

it's all so complicated and confusing and hard to explain and it's two sides of my brain fighting each other at all times over this. i dont think either side is fully right.

and what sucks is like, when it's about Miles, it's easy to keep to myself and on the down low in a way. i was the only person on earth who would have possibly loved him in that way.... but Clockboy falls into public object territory. while the odds are low that anyone else feels the exact same way toward him, it's not impossible

im not like... opposed to the idea of "sharing" a public object but it's a really complex thing to me. like for him specifically, however, it makes me uncomfortable and i dont... understand why. jealousy is probably the closest word to what i would feel but it doesnt seem entirely accurate.

ive been extremely fortunate to see him irl more lately, and have had a couple experiences that i cant fully disclose (for privacy reasons. nothing weird, i promise. like if i got to be any physically closer than any other guest to him, you would already know it by now. but, just know i have connections and dont want to jeopardize things for anyone lol). like i mentioned there's just been a vibe to him. like part of me does think it is something deeper. but then i question if it's something he would do for anyone else... it's so hard to know.

i'd like to think im special to him, somehow. if he can feel that way about people. he is special to ME, and i just wish i could tell him and have him know it. i would give almost anything to have like, 2 minutes of back and forth communication between us to make sure he knows that.

at the end of the day i know none of that really matters and i should do what makes me happy. like spending time near him is "enough" for me i guess. i know i will never get to be any closer to him than someone standing near him in the queue line. i can never have any form of intimacy with him, no form of privacy. i will never get to own him in a way that lets me be with him everyday in a way that would "matter"

anyway i know this like. is not "normal person" behavior and i know this isn't like. entirely healthy mindsets to have. 90% of the time i dont even like, think about this stuff this deeply but it's on the mind tonight...

im not trying to like, compliment fish or anything, but the reason im posting it is i guess if any of my objecto followers have any like. words of advice or reassurance or something about public objects i wouldnt mind if u sent them my way

(also im kinda in therapy again so if i post this here, if it starts eating away at me, i can find my Thoughts again to read to my therapist if i ever tell her im objecto lmfao)

#vent / kinda #like i said. this is a rambly mess #unpacking some brain baggage about objecto shit #i genuinely wish i had more concise words about this stuff...#also i mention in there abt other objectos reaching out...#...and that's kinda who i would prefer reaching out. i dont think non-objecto ppl can like. fully grasp this #if u can. great. if u cant. i get it lol #also also i mention intimacy w/ a certain something and i promise on my life i am not implying anything more than like. making out w it and #even that is a bit of a stretch.#the sex part of objectosexuality for this Thing is like. nonexistent.#anyway. hi. sorry for oversharing. i was unmedicated for 24 hrs #and this is what happens i guess.#time for bed now

9 notes · View notes

goremet-chef · 9 months

Text

maybe ill tell my mom im hungry? im so. my entire LIFE i have always always hated asking for things like so much so that i stopped asking for things on my BIRTHDAY because im like. terrified of being seen as selfish? idk its funny cuz parents will like. god forbid i get a treat when im a kid, then all the grown ups in my life look down and call me spoiled as if they didnt give me the treat, and they still think children arent capable of complex thought so they didnt anticipate that id internalize it for the rest of my life but here we are 😁😁

so i just. god i hate asking for things it makes me feel so shitty but i think shes gonna go somewhere anyways? and EVENTUALLY hes going to run out of things to cook so maybe if i ask she'll bring home some food (vent/rant)

that is one thing that always bothers me tho ive got? idk my mom is. shes my mom i guess, currently she treats me very nicely but when her bf was gone for a few years all that anger was directed at me so yknow. i guess shes over it? or she tries to make up for it, but if im not given an apology, i wont forgive or forget even. it was mutual, lots of arguing on the basis of politics at time, but sometimes it was just fucking nothing, to the point where she'd even admit that i didnt deserve that treatment its just. SIGHHHHH im over it at this point im just trying to get out atp yknow? but like

my sibling asks for LOTS of things. and they get all of them. money for computer parts? sure. money for literally any thing? sure. new game? sure

im not bitter about it, as long as my mom can afford it i dont care. but like....... whenever I ask for things, its usually a no

because of my BPD, i take rejection really hard, its the worst pain in the world so i kinda just stopped asking for anything at all to avoid the feeling. then they always are like "ohh what do you want for yr birthday we cant just get you nothing" but i actually DID ask for something on my birthday. i asked for a copy of pokemon black for the ds. it was the only thing ive directly asked for in years, and i didnt get it which is super embarrassing. like whats the point of bothering me about what i want if you dont listen to me when i do? they always get me what they THINK i want and its this really outdated version of me that doesnt even exist anymore, its makes me dissociate knowing thats what they see me as when im just not that anymore. even when i tell them its null

IDK its jsut a whole thing, idk how to feel about it anymore. its to the point where like. my friends take me out sometimes but i mean. they know im broke, they know i have no job, they know i have no income. but im terrified the entire time that theyre gonna like. ask me to pay or something, and i always do my best to just do nothing when we go out cuz i really like. even when they offer to get me things it makes me feel so fucking shitty man i feel like im just leeching off of them even when they offered. even when they tell me they like getting me things it just. it feels so bad. and GOD its embarrassing, when we're walking around stores and all im doing is just following them around because i have like FIVE DOLLARS in my pocket at most. things like that make me want to never leave my house again, it just sucks.

im jealous of them if im honest, because they have jobs and i dont. but i dont think? i genuinely am unsure id ever be able to get a job. im not well adjusted like them, im constantly dissociating, constantly tired, my sibling yesterday, i made a comment about my mom leaving without telling me at all and he was like "well she said she was leaving on the weekend didnt she?" like yes, she did, but i genuinely have no idea what day it is at any given point. all i know is the number, i dont know the day of the week ever.

like im so. fucked, im fucked! totally, even if i managed to get me shit together, relearn the days of the week, set a good sleep schedule, im fucked anyways because i dont know how to be a person at all. an interview sounds fucking terrifying, ESPECIALLY if i dont know the questions theyre going to ask. i do really REALLY poorly with actual human conversation, like its painful. and pretty much everyone around me thinks im kinda creepy or weird in some way, so theyd DEFINITELY be able to tell. i have no resume, i dont even know what that IS. like im so fucked!! i wasnt able to pass highschool, i cant partake in a conversation if i dont somehow have both sides planned perfectly.

little unsure about my odds, gotta be honest

but at the same time like? i keep hearing people say "if you cant work then get disability insurance" am i disabled? everyone around me tells me im just not trying hard enough. they laugh at me when i say i just cant. even if it covers mental illness, i? i dont know. im constantly in denial of things because my family specifically my mom like. a long time ago she told me i just couldnt be autistic, because im "too smart"

?????? it showed me immediately that she has absolutely no fucking idea what shes talking about ever, i bet she couldnt list more than 2 symptoms of autism like genuinely. im not even smart also????? maybe id be a genius, if i could retain information after 5 minutes 💀💀 its complete bullshit man, im just. im at a loss

and then they have the audacity to mock me for not knowing how to be a person in the world, when THEY shouldve taught me. it was THEIR job to help guide me through it, and they didnt. they laugh and roll their eyes and scoff when i tell them oh i dont know how to use a stove, i dont know what food stamps are i dont know how to dress for a job interview ETC

they expect ill know, that i wouldve jsut picked it up over time but surprise! i didnt. i need instruction i need CLEAR instruction and no one will give it to me. its so frustrating man, they suck ass and they just make me feel WORSE about myself. like good fucking god, give me a break

idk im just. exhausted. im tired of just cramming my problems down because the people around me are incapable of seeing me as anything other than a child, and children dont have problems, right? i have no right to complain if my backs constantly hurting, if im too tired to feed myself properly, if i cant leave my house for 2 seconds without feeling the deepest dread. like be so serious bro

i cant wait to fucking move out, but.. how? my friends said its okay if i cant always make enough money from art to pay rent, but no. i dont believe them at all. theyre just being nice to me and i dont even deserve that, i fucking refuse i cant just. im always dead weight, its so frustrating. it frustrates the people around me, too. i feel like such a fucking burden man, its so tiring. if its not things i just dont know how to do, its fear. oh i cant help clean the garage because its crawling with spiders, i cant take out the trash because the trash bins are crawling with spiders. i cant walk down the stairs because i saw a spider on the ground. they fucking hate me man

i know what they see me as, but i have no idea how to convince them that its not me. they think im rude because i dont know how to properly communicate, i say things and its rude to them and i feel bad because i didnt intend to come off that way. everyone thinks im selfish, they think im overdramatic. exaggerating. if they could live in my head for one day, they wouldnt think that anymore

its so exhausting because you dont even get any sort of sympathy from them! just like. awkward pity, and it makes me wish i was never born. never oh im sorry yr feeling that way, do you wanna talk about it? never

they see me as such an obvious burden but they? i dont know! i genuinely cant understand, they think i just have no complex emotions? they think i cant hear it, cant see it? they think i dont feel like a burden when they tell me i am. its so stupid

i cant stand being around anyone, and it just pushes me FURTHER into dissociation. ive got an interesting thing with that. see, typically when yr dissociate with a dissociative disorder like OSDD or DID, that hazy period in time opens up for another alter to front, you dissociate away and get tucked inside yr head. except i get maladaptive daydreams. so im fully dissociated in another world basically but im still physically present. its like i just always take up space thats never meant for me, in every conceivable way. i hate it.

i know, when i finish typing this, ill feel a lot better. which is just embarrassing, bpd fucking sucks. having no emotional permanence is EMBARRASSING when im over here crying on my knees about my problems and then the second i get it out i feel completely fine. it just makes me invalidate my very real emotions even further and its so.

im just. whatever.

just spit it out and stop looking that way

1 note · View note

ringmyheart · 3 years

Note

Can I request Vin Jin boyfriend headcanons and some fluff? (You don't have to force yourself)

(This and the other vin jin rq were merged!)

Honestly the way I see it, it doesn’t matter if you’re a very calm person or outgoing person. No matter what this relationship is gonna end up being considerably chaotic

He ropes you into everything he does. Doesn’t matter if u r a design student or an architecture student or if ur on the opposite side of the school from him, u r practically in his class. Dating him is like signing a contract sealing away ur own life bc he makes it a point to be ALWAYS w u

In class he doesn’t gaf if the teacher has ur seat on the other end of class, he is somehow finding a way to sit next to u against ur will or not. And when the teacher moves u two away from eachother INTENTIONALLY bc of this, he is threatening whoever happened to sit next to u to trade seats w him. He will go as far as to dress up as them to make it look like they’re them to be next to u and he’s so dramatic ab it.... being away from u felt like u were star crossed lovers whom the world was fiercely against

And if UR against this cuz ur tired of getting in trouble in class, or if you reject any of his advances, he’s gonna be really, really, really offended. He will at first sputter and be kinda shy and embarrassed about it, before he goes “fine! Have fun on your own without me, the greatest thing in your fucking life!”

He move seats back and will glare at you periodically every five minutes to pavlov dog you so that every five minutes every day, even when he’s not there, you feel the burning stare of vin jin

If you’re his s/o, he’ll buy you a matching pair of sunglasses so ur the freshest looking couple around Seoul (they’re hideous and thick but he thinks u look fly)

The glasses don’t have nearly as many layers as his does for himself so u can see, and u wonder how he managed to make them just as bulky and if he did it on purpose to sabotage u. Like “did u make my glasses purposefully ugly so no one else will want me?”

U have to dodge a punch after saying anything like that ab his fashion decisions LMAOAO

He’s rlly proud of u two matching. With the glasses and anything in general. He’ll make you wear a jacket matching his, or the same shoes and he will stop people in the hall and be like “wait. Notice anything cool ab us today?? Cooler than normal??”

And when they don’t respond he boasts “that’s right!! Me and my other half r matching. Look at us and weep, losers.” He thinks u two look so good....... if ur enthusiastic ab wearing matching things too he is elated u have to pray that tomorrow he won’t show up w another “if lost return to Vin Jin” “I’m Vin Jin” pair of jackets or anything of the like bc it happens SO OFTEN

And on the topic of sharing when it’s cold he likes to share jackets and blankets w u. Ur desks r moved by eachother by vin jin himself and u two share one blanket over u and shiver bc he just likes it, sharing w u plus he’s slightly warmer. And yes if you guys had indivizual blankets you would be warmer, but u guys have to struggle together he doesn’t care what anyone says (yes even ur protests ur sharing that one blanket wether he has to wrap it around u himself and tear up the one u brought on ur own or what”

He is so blind in love that he cannot tell when u guys suck at stuff. Like if ur in the wrong he doesnt care ur RIGHT and he’s taking that to the grave. He can belittle u and call u out but if someone else says ur in the wrong it’s on sight

Will die protecting ur name even when ur the one who was genuinely wrong

He forces u to make a beat for him to rap to. He loves rapping and wants to enjoy it w u, so ur forcefed YouTube videos of how to beatbox so u can be his bgm and eventually u probably just start to enjoy it to

And u always start a beat and he starts busting out rhymes and it’s SO BAD. It doesn’t matter if ur good at beatboxing if vin Jin is on the track w u it’s gonna sound terrible he brings the quality down immensely but u two just cannot tell

Like after a two session ur like “omg... that was so good. We should go pro?” “Fuck yea we should we’re better than those posers” “we could rlly make it in the industry fr” no u absolutely could not

During the school festival, u sang with him and it was SO bad. Half the crowd is gonna have 2 be hospitalized but u two had FUN up on the stage

Like I said, he has absolute faith in u. All u do is right. If ur driving a car for the first time, he is going to be ur little hype man doesn’t matter if u suck. U hit a curb and he went “YES babe!! Ur killing it cant wait till u hit the road bby” Ur not allowed to touch a car for the next two years now bc he kept cheering u on when u we’re doing CLEARLY wrong things

On a plane u r looking for the bathroom like pensively and u see a handle and look back and r like “is this it???” And vin jin thinking u r all righteous will go “yea babe go for it” and u open it and u depressurizate the cabin immediately

Now both on like 5 no fly lists

He loves to do things with u, like I mentioned earlier, and things he wouldn’t do alone he’ll do w u. Like drawing alone?? Boring. Drawing w Y/N??!!! Who knows what could happen..... so much fun could ensue. Maybe he will draw u cutely. Maybe he will draw u so ugly u will be forced to engage in a fight.

He likes to play just dance w u and compete for the “greats/all star!” Little titles above, and it becomes like a Friday night ritual for u two to turn just dance on and just go at it. But sometimes he’ll get too intense and suddenly he’s actually fighting for the chance to beat u. Will trip u so u lose on purpose

He makes u listen to him sing and rap to u. And u try to leave and he hugs tightly and is like LISTEN IFS FOR U, DONT BE UNGRATEFUL and now u have to listen

He makes u a mixtape of songs he made himself and they are all considerably worse than “remember the times we had”. It’s uploaded on SoundCloud and all the comments r hate and u listen to it a lot bc u know he loves u sm he made u a mixtape ya ur gonna play that but everyone else hates it w a passion

Like the comments r like:

Daniel: well.... it’s definitely a song 😅 I’m glad you love (y/n) so much!

Duke: he’s not making it out the hood 😐

Zach: never let this man in a studio AGAIN

Mary: this should’ve stayed in the CD

(Y/N): love it! 😍

Zoe: kill your producer 💀

Mira: ...

He’s overprotective too

If someone looks at u for more than a second he’ll go “what?? U think she is hot, huh? I’ll kick ur ass fucking perv.... cmon babe let’s go”

Will throw his arm around u and streer u the opposite way of any potentially good looking ppl to keep ur eyes on him

Oh Daniel is coming?? What a coincidence u and vin Jin suddenly have to turn the corner to the other way of ur classroom for some reason

Eli is near?!!! Oh no u just got milk spilt in ur eye!! Oh no now he has to wipe ur eyes and u two have to leave the cafeteria whatever will he do

It’s not that he doesn’t have faith in u, he doesn’t have faith in other men. Like he thinks they r all competition, and doesn’t doubt ur loyalty rather doubts how good he can b for u

WILL beat someone up for u. If someone smokes while ur around suddenly his fists r swinging at them cuz even if u smoke or vape urself no one else can get that stuff in ur lungs but YOU or HIM!!

If ur crossing the street and a car almost hits u, it’s the cars fault and he’s kicking the license plate and cursing it out for almost touching u “stupid fucking piece of metal”

Is the type of boyfriend to call u when he knows ur in an Uber and be like “babe u got ur gun w u right?? Oh don’t forget ur BOMB and ur MACHETE!! Yeah just left the house I killed some ppl nbd haha anyways HRU what’s ur Uber driver like” so the driver of ur car won’t even think ab kidnapping u. He has got ur back even when u do not want it

He doesn’t want u to see his eyes, so he’ll tell you to look away so he can take his glasses off and look at u in full color in all ur glory but he never tells u WHY he’s telling u to look away u think it’s a weird thing of his, or he’s insecure ab his face which is partially true but really he’s taking his glasses off and just looking at u. Adoringly.....

He hates PDA. He loves PDA. Do u see his dilemma

Like he loves PDA but doesn’t want anyone seeing him vulnerable even u.... so he’ll hold ur hand and be like “EWWW WHAT R U DOING GET YR HAND OFF MINE”

If u take the lead THATS best bc he can blame it on u and it’s ur fault he HAS to lock fingers w u cuz u did it to him first and he has an excuse to touch u and v like u started this im just sending u ur own energy back 😤

The type to be just like blind, overwhelmed in love. Always thinks ab u, always wants to be w u, worries ab u a lot and frets over u without showing it.... he hates it and loves it to death. Despises it but wouldn’t give it up for anything in the world

Eats lunch w u in the cafeteria and if u sit w someone else u r the ultimate traitor and he will trash talk u to hide his hurt to Mary the entire lunchtime. Kinda possessive.... wants u to also only think about him

WOULDNT EVER fight u for real. Play fights occur VERY often, like pillow fights, tripping ur foot when u say a joke insulting him, grabbing ur collar but he would sooner die than lay a finger on u

Verbal fights happen a lot and if he ever like LOSES it he may lash out and almost hit u and follow thru. I don’t think he’d be able to catch himself that quickly, and if he ever did he’d regret it for the rest of his life. Literally until the day dies he will take it to his grave

He may not sputter out apologieswill just look at u incredulously and then at his hands because what had he done? What did he just do? To you???????? (Y/n))))?????? His (y/n)??? Light of his life?

Will apologize probably over text or through a note or call, and if u don’t respond he is consumed by regret and tries to find u instantly like runs back to ur place

If u forgive him he feels bad still, because does he deserve it? And he might just isolate himself for a bit bc he can’t face u and if it left a scar he is dead inside. It kills him, literally

I could go on w this but I’ll probably save it for another separate pair of hcs later 😭

If u guys ever break up he will fight for u again and won’t stop till ur back together like flowers in ur locker every day, chocolate give during lunch, etc. He wont ever give up hope that he can win u over again and be w u again. He would keep trying, when he wakes up his first thought is ur name in a cold panic bc he can’t rest easy till ur his again and he will try and show off and poorly serenade u and trash his price and be corny and cheesy to get u back

Will set up a performance w the school to let him rap w a mic during lunch for u and he’s saying bars like “(read in bad rapping voice w inconsistent beat) (y/n), love of my life, uh, without you I’d die, uh. Please won’t you take me back? Yuh, without you ima have a heart attack. (Wha!). (Y/n), love of my life, yeah, without you I’m in strife, yup! Please be mine again, (babe), I can never rest till then.”

If the embarrassment doesn’t make u take him back so he’ll pls stop, and when he stands up on the lunch tables to do a little performance doesn’t do it either, then the odd sincerity of his voice and pain in his look (even tho while rapping he sticks out his lower lip in a weird pout) definitely, hopefully will

U make everything worth it !! Truly the light of his life

I hope these were what u wanted, I just had fun w them and wrote stuff that came off the top of my head when I thought of VJ!! ❤️

120 notes · View notes

sukirichi · 3 years

Text

[ BROKEN RECORDS ; asks ]

💌 — love letter from @kyriaan

from track 007.

Okay okay im still kinda meh'ish' but i really wanted to answer you so 😭 ill try to compile both my answer to your answer on my love letter and my hyped review on track 7 <3 so yeah another long ass rant from me 😩💕Suki... Suki pls I totally forgot Tsumu had a crush on us Suki... And then poor Tsumu ir there sulking cause he still likes u- JFBFBDVDVSJCHDHSIA omfg i wanted so much to hug him my baby I like him so much 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 and he was trying so hard to behave while just sitting there sad fhfhfvbbshsjfhbdjaofhffhsoshd TSUMU YOU'RE STILL IN MY TOP 3 BABY 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂

And then you throw the whole dancing scene with suna and I dont know whos on my top 3 anymore 🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙂🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃🙃 SUKIIIIIIII THAT SCENE ALONE GJGJBFBSJCNFNKSOSNF OMFG IM FALLING SO HARD FOR SUNA I THINK? I think my top 3 had 4 dudes in it cause 3rd place has Suna and Atsumu tied?? Hfhfbfbfhdhsja I CANT PICK?? BUT BUT I WAS FEELING STUPIDLY DOWN WHEN READING THAT AND THAT SCENE ALONE MADE ME FEEL SO SOFT IT WAS SO CUTE AND OMG IF SUNA DID THAT TO ME I WOULD DROP ON MY KNEES AND ASK HIM TO MARRY ME CAUSE OMFGGGFFFF DUDE EVEN WENT AHEAD AND SAID THAT WHOLE 'HES GOING TO BE ONE LUCKY GUY'

Oh shit im crying again that scene lets me emotional 😭😭😭😭 someone get me a sunrin irl pls

Anyways the way that suna knows y/n is just.... FUCKING END UP TOGETHER ALREADY FOR THE LOVE OF GOD JUST JBVSHSJBEHSISJ

Also how powerful are we?? HOW FUCKING POWERFUL ARE WE TO SCORE SUNA KITA AND TSUMU?? ARE YOU GONNA TELL. ME IF OIKAWA MOFO TOORU APPEARED HE WOULD ALSO BE ON HIS KNEES FOR US?? (okay no wait... No nooo i would legit drop anyones ass for tooru hes that powerful for me like sorry suna was fun but TOORU)

Yo nah but the whole Kita sex scene- let me breath bestie LET ME BREATH CAUSE I WAS HOT BUT AT SAME TIME I WAS FEELING GUILTY 😂😂😂😂 ESPECIALLY WHEN HE WAS FEELING DISAPPOINTED NEXT DAY LIKE KITA PLS BABY WHAT WERE YOU EXPECTING?? 😬😬😬😬 But at same time his 'ill fuck the thought of him out of you tonight' I ALMOST MOANED YASSSSS TELL ME DADDY HOLY SHITTTTT

👀👀👀👀 Still not a kita simp ✌️✌️🤏✌️

Okay Kita deserves the best tho I mean okay he went there as a y/n mom's plan but he did ended up helping alot... Especially cause he knows no matter what y/n heart will always be suna's and pls give Kita the best ending possible cause he deserves someone who will trully love him and show him the world cause mah boy deserves it

*breaths in breaths out* i hated this scene- not in a bad way but shit i hate rejections... To the point im kinda afraid of confessing now cause i despise the feeling of being rejected... The best i can descrive it it like this coldness in your chest that descends your whole body and then you feel frozen in place.. Thats how it feels for me I hate it I absolutely despise it- its also the feeling i have when in a really bad situation and ugh...

The suna part made. Me feel this no matter how many times i reread it the feeling doesnt lessen it keeps being there cause (okay you probably are tired already of me saying this but) Suki I feel like I cant put it in words how much of a fucking good of a writer you are. Ill go ahead and say you are by far my favorite writer the fact i always feel so engaged and the fact i always feel like im there its just- it blows my mind.

I felt like suna was personally rejecting me and i hated it- i swear the moment he said prove it I almost screamed HOW? My brain had to take a moment to just slap me and say: 'kya you reading this is not happening chill-' cause i was already sobbing uncontrollably... I even whimpered the dont leave me 😬 my sadass went to bed feeling so sad thanks to suna... Man i wanted so much to hug him and i swear i would give him as much love as he gave y/n cause well i kin suna alot in this series cause im like that im a giver i treat others the way i would like to be treated (reason why ive been down lately ✌️) and i cant blame suna for finally setting boundaries- his call tho 'do i not stand a chance with you anymore y/n? Are you really not capable of falling in love with me?".... Oh suna... We are in love with you.. We always were we're just fucking stupid 😩

Also mari pls go jump off a cliff <3 youre in need dear cause sleeping with other man just to separate suna and y/n <3 i want so much to punch her 🙂🙃

Now for the love letter part (im so sorry for this being so long ✌️)

You said that if we asked suna he woukd say that he genuinely loved mari okay... Ill go ahead and say yes he liked mari he even learned how to love her and he genuinely cared for her BUT and heres where my personal view comes in so maybe ill be biased here still for me that was just a he loves her as in he cares you also love your friends and care for them but he didnt love her- and by this I mean- he could never be fully committed for her. Yes he loved her and he felt happy with her but like track 7 proved everything he would do in the back of his mind was y/n he deeply wished Mari was her and for that he just loved Mari cause he learned how to care about her- but he never forgot who he trully was in love it. Also the happiness he experienced with Mari was pretty much the one I experienced the bliss of having someone there and that bliss also made suna turn a blind eye to all the red flags from Mari cause to him all the jealousy meant she cared and thats toxic but suna was so desperate for some sort of 'she cares' that even all the possessiveness was bliss for him... And that makes my heart clench for suna...

'suna had to put an effort for the relationship' and saddly i feel like mari didnt... Mari didnt care mari was there because she was a fangirl of suna and got lucky, the way she just discarded him so effortlessly that proved-screamed how much she loved him- she didnt. She was just possessive over him she liked the whole 'hes mine' dynamic and suna was the perfect boyfriend cause he was giving her the world... What he wanted someone to do for him.

Also yeah suna and y/n might have been spurred from them being fuck buddies but well love doesnt really have an agenda- they just clicked, understood each other and had chemistry yeah they had tons and tons of sex but feelings started not because of sex but thanks to their deep connection... Also that dsncing scene in track 7 that alone spoke for their whole relationship- that alone is enough to defend their feelings for each other- yes it might jave started just as fuck buddies but ended up in them loving each other deeply and that is enough love after all doesnt need a perfect start. It can start out of the most stupid ways.

You said life with excitement and fun wouldn't be permanent or real.. Honestly i think it could be.. Cause i mean when you love someone that deeply your life always feels exciting even with the littlest things and that the purest kind of love. Even just going for a walk at the beach would be fun for them or even staying up watching movies i believe suna and y/n would always find a way to make their lofe exciting without much effort.

Also it kinda makes me. Sad when i see some anon saying that y/n and suna relationship are toxic? It makes me. Confused maybe because I was in such extremely toxic one (girl i sweat if you search for toxic relationship my ex's face will be there as an example 🙄) that Mari to me screams toxic! Possessive, manipulative, jealous and a few more if I think closely about it while with y/n and suna they are just two idiots that are hurting each other cause they're just that: idiots one that is afraid to get hurt and the other that keeps hoping- dont get me wrong what they're doing is not healthy but i dont find it toxic honestly

Sorry for the extreme long rant 8D I tried to keep it short but you always make me so hyped to talk about your works 😩

Hfbfbfhfhfieia

[ from saeren ]

NAHHH CUZ I LOVE TSUMU SO MUCH HERE HE WAS SO PRECIOUS. I didn’t write too much about them in college but Atsumu was so cute when he crushed on YN. he was always sending her memes and cute texts like “have you eaten” “good morning” and she’d feel so awkward because she doesn’t know how to let him down easy without hurting him. either way tsumu would feel hurt. AND YES PLS HE WAS SO SAD I MEAN, HIS CRUSH AND HIS BEST FRIEND NEARLY HAD SEX RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEM SO THAT’S GOING TO HURT

SUNA AND ATSUMU TIED?? tbh I loved that dancing scene bcos suna is one of my faves and I really wanna do that with him hehehhehe. NAHHH PLEASE SAME IF SUNA DANCED WITH ME AND MADE A WEDDING PLAYLIST I’D BE LIKE boy what’re u waiting for let’s get married now !! n yes he said whoever YN will choose in the future will be one lucky guy IM SOBBING RN

naur cuz. there’s something about dating your best friend. I’m not saying a boyfriend wouldn’t know you as well but there’s something different when you’re best friends first. they could literally share eye contact and have a long ass conversation just from that. their connection is different.

HAJKALA AS FOR THE POWER, BR! YN IS A VERY CHARISMATIC AND FRIENDLY PERSON !! she’s like one of those people you meet that not only are they attractive as hell, but they’re also super approachable and down to earth. that’s why she’s so popular + she’s flirty and can make a stranger feel welcome or comfortable in the first meeting. SGSHJAK I WAS ACTUALLY PLANNING TO ADD OIKAWA HERE BUT I WANNA MAKE IT MORE INARIZAKI CENTRED

the seggs scene with kita SOBSSSS he’s such a soft dom IDC he knows where the clit is, he knows how to hit it. he’s a “your pleasure first before mine” type of guy. kita is perfect, PERIODT. HE GIVES DADDY VIBES HUH AHSKAA HE’S SO SWEET YET SEXY IM IN LOVE WITH HIM ISTG IF SUNA WASN’T OUR BEST FRIEND THEN I’D RUN FOR KITA ALL THE TIME. and I agree, kita deserves the best !! and don’t worry, I actually plan on giving kita the best ending, I promise you he’ll be fine (slight spoiler there)

YESSSSS OMG I’VE BEEN REJECTED BEFORE AND THAT’S EXACTLY HOW I FELT, MY BODY WAS SO COLD AND I WAS SO CONFUSED LIKE IT MAKES YOU THINK. am I not good enough, did I do something wrong, do you not wanna give me a chance or try it out but ofc I’d never say that out loud. AND KYAAA AAAH IM YOUR FAVORITE WRITER??? NO CUZ YOU’RE GOING TO MAKE ME CRY. I remember ur asks way back reckless era and you used to tell me that my writing made you picture the scenes easily and you felt you were there in that moment and I’m just so grateful thank you so much <33

NO BCOS WHEN SUNA SAID “prove it” I was like. this is it. that’s his hot boy shit moment. man’s has had enough of being thrown from one toxic relationship to another and he also deserves his good moments yknow. and you kin suna here?? BESTIE IM SORRY TO HEAR THAT, SUNA’S BEEN THROUGH A LOT HERE AHSJAKA. that’s true about suna tho !! he’s definitely affectionate + a giver. he’s happy being the one who gives most of the time but he’s a human as well, ofc he’d want to receive the same amount of love back. ALSO HIS PHONE CALLLLLL ugh tbh that part was the one that made me the saddest bcos he’s just. he wants to know if there’s really no more chance. all this time he never gave up. but he’s also tired so if yn says ‘no more’ then he’ll give up. its his way of respecting himself too ahsjaka

YOOOOO I AGREE WITH THAT. he cares for mari as a person but not 100% as a lover. but ofc he’s still thankful for how happy she made him because she was there at his worst. and that’s true, deep down suna still wishes that it was YN who’s right beside him. he will always ALWAYS want her back. he learned how to love mari in a way that was more out of mutual care but not in the way he loves YN. no that’s reserved only for YN – she will remain no 1 in his heart. AND YESSSSS the reason why suna overlooked the red flags was bcos to him, its something that was supposed to be “normal” like no perfect partner existed. he thought mari’s attitude of pushing YN away was normal, and its normal to want your partner’s best friend keep some distance but not to the point of mari’s place where she literally wants the two of them to cut each other out of their lives.

and aww I’m so happy that you realized how I wanted to portray suna and yn’s relationship. they’re….like the definition of youth in its freest form. they were fucking around and doing stupid things, but they had a connection. they had something deeper than just sexual intimacy. even if they never dated or even if YN never proposed the idea of it, they would’ve actually been still great friends. and oooh I actually don’t remember saying life with excitement and fun wouldn’t be real HAHAHAHA so I can’t comment further on that. but I think when I ‘said’ those I probably meant that it’s not always going to be all rainbows and unicorns in a relationship. there’s no such thing as a relationship that’s always happy and sweet 24/7, but ofc it can be sweet and it can be pure even with the little things <33 they just need to work on it.

hmmm tbhhhh… suna and yn are toxic in a way that they refuse to let each other go when they clearly can’t meet halfway. toxic doesn’t have to be limited in just being mari-like in which they are possessive or manipulative, because then if we’d drive deeper into yn’s personality, then she’d be stringing suna all along and that’s unfair of her. she knows suna wants more and yet she remained being friends with him, which totally isn’t a bad thing, but it’s because she keeps flirting with him and is so romantically comfortable with him that she doesn’t realize it’s hurting suna because he’ll give double meanings to that. their relationship is ‘toxic’ because they’re not entirely good for each other, they’re not that ready to be with one another yet and neither is the world letting them be in peace, so forcing their relationship to a point they’re hurting another is the toxic part.

[ from @kyriaan ]

Ah also not me feeling all proud and mushy cause my analysis made you mind blown fjfbdnsjdkpa 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 I guess its also because i see this story as a really big mirror of my own toxic relationship sonits extremely easy for me to get it... And oh boy the way i kin suna here

But dhdhfjdospdhfbsoa 🥺🥺🥺🥺 i feel happy now *huggles*

[ from saeren ]

and aah yes ofc, I’m really happy whenever someone can see the underlying details I scatter throughout the story !! yeah omg same hahahaha broken records is also half inspired by the toxic people I’ve met. I kin kita here tho and I’m so glad you’re happier now !!

#asks with naoya's trophy wife #series ( broken records )#tw: toxic

5 notes · View notes

sugacouture · 4 years

Text

Pixie Dust

summary: You’re persuaded by your friends to go to a club after you get rejected from the best residency program in the nation. However, after a few drinks, the cute bartender notices your gloomy mood and decides to bring you a little bit of happiness by sprinkling a bit of golden dust...

{magic!au (?)}

pairing: kim taehyung x female reader

genres: fluff, slight angst

word count: 4.4k

rating: pg

a/n: this fic was inspired by disney’s Peter Pan! i’m planning on making a series of one shots inspired by disney movies or fairytales but idk, we’ll see how it goes :)) once again, thank you @1yanan for proofreading this! tbh idk what i would do without u and ur amazing editing :’)

“What the hell.”

You blink at your computer screen that’s showing your rejection letter to the top medical residency program in the country. It was supposed to be the next step in your journey to become a doctor. You planned on getting accepted, finishing your few years of residency, learning a shit ton of medicine, and becoming the badass medical professional you had always wanted to be.

Obviously, this presents itself as a large bump in the road.

Groaning, you bury your face in your hands. After your brain has comprehended the sting of rejection, you call Jennie, who applied to the same program as you. Unsurprisingly, your best friend had gotten turned away too, which probably had something to do with her submitting her application a few days late.

“Whatever,” Jennie scoffs. “That program is probably full of egotistical assholes anyways. They can eat shit.”

“Yeah,” you echo softly, staring at your ceiling. “Eat shit…”

You hear her sigh from the other end of the line. “Honey, I know you wanted to get into that program, but there are plenty of other ones that I’m sure you got into. Maybe they aren’t ranked number one in the country, but I’m confident that your parents would have been just as proud of you for even making it this far.”

The mention of your parents makes you freeze up, and you think – maybe Jennie’s right. Maybe you got rejected not because you didn’t work hard enough, but because you wouldn’t survive in the environment that the program would have provided.

However, that thought isn’t enough to convince yourself that you aren’t an utter failure.

“I know you’re probably trying to come up with a way to cope with this,” Jennie continues, “but I think we should just drink it off tonight, you know? Get buzzed and forget about this whole mess. What do you say?”

––––––

After slipping into a satin midi dress, you hop into the cab with your girlfriends and tell the driver to drop all of you off at The Castle: a prestigious club full of high-end drinks and high-end people. The atmosphere was much more mellow than the raging bars downtown and attracted crowds who were more well off. Much cleaner and safer than any sleazy bar in college town, it was the type of environment that your group of friends preferred over a frat party at any day, any night.

Although the entrance fee was somewhat expensive for a party of med students who were knee-deep in student loans, your best friend had unknowingly slept with one of the owners of the business during one wild night, gaining special privileges in the process. One of those benefits was getting into the club for free, and, quote, “if you bring your friends along, I guess they’re free too.”

Upon arriving, you pay the cab driver and head towards the entrance of The Castle. Its neon sign casts a purple hue against your skin as you approach the front door. The intimidating security guards up front meet your friends with emotionless expressions, even though they’ve seen you before. Nevertheless, they ask for your IDs and the entrance fee, to which Jennie rolls her eyes and ignores them.

If it was anyone else, the guards would have stopped the trespasser immediately. However, Jennie has made it very obvious that she’s screwing their boss, so all of you slide into the party and beeline towards the bar.

You drop down on a stool and ask for a strawberry margarita with double shots of tequila. While waiting for your drink, you tap your nails on the bar, the letter of rejection still swimming in your head.

As if she knew what you were thinking, Jennie nudges you on the shoulder.

“Hey, don’t look so depressed, ____,” she murmurs. “We’re here to dance the night away, not to encourage chemical imbalances in our brain.”

“I know, but I can’t help but be disappointed.” You shoot her a wry smile, taking your drink from the bartender. “I mean, I thought I had this all planned out, you know? My school, my career, my life–” you sigh, swirling the pink concoction of alcohol. “But now I kinda just want to sit on my couch and eat a tub of ice cream while Up is playing.”

“Things change all the time. Don’t let this get to your head.” Jennie pats your back and you lean your head on her shoulder.

“Forget about medicine for a few hours, yeah?” she continues, slapping a few bills on the counter. “Drink all you want. It’s on me.”

Before you can protest, she scurries off to the dance floor, winking as she retreats into the dark lights. You return the meanest face you can muster, but really, you’re truly grateful to have a friend like her. Not because she paid for the drinks–though you certainly don’t mind it–but because she knows that you need to get your mind off of the residency before you turn paranoid.

The bartender chuckles and you turn back to him. “You can buy around thirty strawberry margaritas with that money,” he says, wiping a cup. His brown hair falls over his eyes while he carefully runs the cloth over the glass. He looks up to catch you staring, and he flashes a wary smile. “Don’t tell me you’re actually considering it.”

Squinting, you try to read the faint letters of his nametag, making out the name Kim Taehyung.

You shrug, sipping your margarita. “I mean, didn’t you hear what she said? ‘Forget about medicine for a night, ____.’ I don’t know what it sounds like to you, Taehyung, but it seems like a good offer to me. ”

Sighing, you send the cute bartender a weary smile. “To be honest, I think I’ll just leave. This isn’t my crowd, anyway.” You motion towards the extravagant dance floor full of women dripping in diamonds and men in Armani suits.

After pocketing Jennie’s money so you can return it to her tomorrow, you finish your drink in one fell swoop and push the empty glass back to the bartender. “Thanks for the drink.”

He takes the cup, nodding slowly and watching your face while he does. You must’ve looked so dejected that it makes him say: “Wait, I have something for you.”

“Huh?” you answer, surprised. “Did I forget to pay or something? ‘Cuz I’m pretty sure Jennie–”

“No,” he blurts, eyes darting around the room. “It’s just—do you want to come to the back with me for a second?”

You nod, but he searches your face for any signs of alarm or suspicion. After only finding curiosity in your warm eyes, he walks over to the side of the bar to open a small swinging door for you, and he escorts you to the other side of the bar.

You’re met with shelves of supplies and a few unopened boxes in the corner. Other than that, you don’t understand why the bartender brought you here. He’s fumbling with one of the boxes, squatting down as he tries to open it.

“So, what’s the purpose of bringing me here? Are you gonna kidnap me?” you joke. “That’ll be an interesting bullet to put on my resume. It’s not every day that someone gets captured by a stranger in the back of a bar.”

Taehyung finally pries the box open with an “Ah-hah!” and motions you over. “Come here, I want to show you something.”

Curious, you walk over to him and the box. It looks like a normal cardboard box until you see its contents. There’s a few bottles of vodka and whiskey, which seems normal. When you look closer, though, two small purple pouches stand out among the drinks.

“What’s that?” you murmur, pointing to a pouch. The velvet brushes against his palms as he dips his hand in the box and pulls one out. It sits on his hand, soft and shining, as he presents it to you.

Suddenly, you’re looking into his sparkling brown eyes and he’s giving you the brightest grin you’ve ever seen. It stuns you, blowing away the fog that’s gathered in your brain from your previous drink.

“___,” he whispers, excited. “Do you believe in magic?”

Unable to breathe, you can only nod in shock as he grabs your hand and yanks you out of the back room. You’re pulled up the stairs and onto the rooftop of the building where you can see the city lights for miles. They swim across your vision as you watch the cute bartender open the mysterious velvet pouch.

Peeking to see the contents of the bag, you almost trip when you see what’s inside.

Glittering gold dust shines in the man’s palms, so fine that the breeze could carry it away. In awe, you meet his eyes.

“W-what is–?”

“Pixie dust,” he whispers, eyes glimmering. “It’s pixie dust.”

What.

You’re absolutely dumbfounded. Shaking your head, you start laughing. “What the hell did you put in my drink, Taehyung? I’m definitely hallucinating.”

His grin morphs into a puzzled frown. “I didn’t put anything in your drink, ___. What you’re looking at is pixie dust. Real, genuine pixie dust.”

“Prove it,” you challenge, crossing your hands across your chest. “It could be bird shit, for all I know. Glittery, golden bird shit.”

The bartender’s eyes harden in frustration and he suddenly flicks a pinch of the dust onto you, making you splutter indignantly.

“Hey! What the hell was that for–” you shriek, cutting yourself off with a gasp.

Your feet aren’t touching the ground anymore.

Eyes widening, you realize that you’re slowly levitating off the rooftop, the dust that Taehyung threw at you glimmering on your body in the moonlight.

“Tae!” you panic, flailing your limbs around. “Help! I’m like, flying and I’m probably going to fall and die in a few seconds oh my god tell Jennie I love her–”

“Shh,” he says, sprinkling some of the gold on himself too. As soon as the dust settles onto him, he joins you in the air. He moves elegantly and fluidly, as if he’s done this before, while you’re scrambling in the air. You’re like a falling leaf, at the mercy of both the wind and Kim Taehyung.

And not in a good way.

You scowl at him when you see his amount of control, watching him push himself off the roof and into the sky. His hair, lightly scattered with pixie dust, stirs as he swims through the air, graceful as a swan. He moves towards you and holds out a hand.

Alarmed, you shake your head vigorously. “I–I don’t know what this is or who you are but I’m literally in the goddamn air–”

“___”, he interrupts softly, still floating towards you, reaching for you. “Trust me.”

Letting out a shaky breath, you decide there’s nothing you can do other than take his hand. So you do.

And the first thing this man does is fling you higher into the air.

You squawk in surprise as you’re propelled towards the clouds, away from the earth. If you weren’t scared before, you are sure as hell are now.

“Taehyung!” you scream, your voice echoing across the sky. “Tell me how to frickin’ fly or whatever, goddammit! I swear to god that once I’m on the ground I will chop you into microscopic pieces and feed them to–”

“Okay! Okay,” he laughs, catching up to you. “Sorry. Surprising you like that was too good of an opportunity pass up, especially since you’re new to all this.”

You frown at him. “Whatever. Just, please tell me how to maneuver myself so I don’t accidentally die. I wouldn’t want to leave my student loans to my aunt, thanks.”

A glimmer of amusement shines in his eyes as he takes your hands in his, pulling you to face him. He releases a hand to tilt your chin up so that you’re eye level with him.

“Flying is easy,” he whispers, gazing into your eyes. “It’s kind of like swimming, except with less effort.”

He gently breaks away. “Just watch me.”

He lifts his arms above his head and, after sending you a wink, pushes them back to his sides in one swift movement. You gasp as you watch him soar through the air, leaving behind a light trail of gold dust in his wake. He dives down towards the ground before he cranes back up, smooth as water.

The momentum he gains from the move is incredible; it provides him enough speed so that he’s rippling through the sky. He doesn’t stop until he wills himself to, when he moves from the streamline position to standing up.

“You try,” he encourages softly, now a few meters away.

You want to, but you take notice of how high you are above ground and a flash of fear runs up your spine. The city lights beneath you are suddenly much more glaring and unforgiving than they were before. You feel yourself losing the fearlessness that you had initially faced this absurd situation with.

“___,” Taehyung calls out, bringing you back to reality. “Are you okay? Do you need me to help you?”

“Y-Yeah, please,” you reply, sending him a panicked smile.

Returning your smile, he flies (God, he flies) back to where you’re currently having a mini heart attack.

“Relax,” he murmurs, guiding your arms above your head. “Like I said—it’s like swimming, but easier. Don’t overthink it, just push yourself up.”

He leans back to watch you, clothes fluttering in the wind. “Now, quickly pull your arms back to your sides,” he instructs,” and move your head in the direction you want to go”

You hesitate. However, once you bring your arms back down in one fast motion, you’re speeding through the night sky.

“Holy—” you shriek, still new to the feeling of weightlessness. “This is amazing!”

“Tilt your head to the right a bit,” Taehyung instructs from behind you as he follows your trail of gold, “and turn back towards me.”

Grinning, you propel yourself back towards him, a smile painting your face. It falls, though, once you realize that you’ve forgotten how to stop.

“Taehyung,” you warn, coming at him at full speed. “I can’t remember how to stop—”

You realize that you’d spoken a few seconds too late as you crash into his chest, sending both of you tumbling into the clouds. He wraps his arm around as he and you somersault through the air. Thankfully, the chaos only lasts for a minute and then you’re still again, face buried inTaehyung’s chest.

“Are you alright?” he frets, looking down at your face. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

You open your mouth to answer when you realize the position you’re in is a little too intimate for your liking. A blush burns on your face as you detach yourself from the man, dusting yourself off and composing yourself.

“Y-yeah, I’m fine,” you stutter, internally cursing. “Sorry that I crash-landed on you. I forgot how to stop.”

Taehyung chuckles, his boxy smile sending your heart into a frenzy.

“No worries. I’ve been there, done that,” he shrugs nonchalantly. “Plus, it’s always fun to watch someone humiliate themselves.”

You feel your face burn even more and you stare at your shoes. “Whatever,” you mumble. “I’ll get it next time, I guess.”

“Or you could get it now,” the bartender suggests, drifting towards you. You’re still looking down, refusing to meet his eyes. Your silence worries him—he's afraid that he’s frightening you too much or is pushing you too far. “Unless you want to go home…?”

“No!” you blurt out, your head snapping up to look at him. “I-I don’t want to go home just yet,” you add, embarrassed at your sudden cry. “...I want to keep flying.”

Taehyung’s face lights up with a grin and he holds out his palm. “Well, then. What are you waiting for?”

With wide eyes and a full heart, you take his hand and he whisks you away, towards the clouds.

–––

The buzzing of your phone wakes you up the next morning.

You throw your arm over your eyes in annoyance. Your head pounds, and there’s a dry feeling in your mouth, as if you had spent the whole night flying against the wind.

Flying.

You sit up so quickly that your back cracks in protest. Ignoring the newly-popped joints, you reach over to your phone and answer whoever’s calling you at this ungodly hour. “Hello?”

“Oh my god, I thought you died,” Jennie shrieks, making you wince. “Where did you end up last night, ___? The girls and I couldn’t find you anywhere and we almost went to the police station to file a missing persons report–”

“I’m fine,” you croak out. You sound like a frog that got run over by a bus. “I’m fine.”

You can hear Jennie shuffling around her kitchen and the jangle of keys.

“Judging by your voice, obviously not. I’m coming over,” she announces as you hear her open her front door.

“No, Jennie, it’s fine–”

“I’m coming over,” she says with finality. “There’s nothing you can do to stop me.”

Sighing, you know that it would be a waste of energy to keep trying. “Alright, just shoot me a text when you’re a few minutes away,” you grunt, and then you hang up.

Throwing your phone the other side of your bed, you wallow in your thoughts. Images of gold dust and the night sky flash before your eyes before you close them in—annoyance? Frustration? Honestly, you don’t know what you’re feeling right now, but you know that something very out of the ordinary happened last night.

A few moments later, Jennie texts you that she’s a block away from your house and will be arriving soon. You heave a sigh as you will yourself to stumble out of bed and towards the front door. You fling it open and, lo and behold, there stands your best friend, who’s very obviously both pissed and concerned.

“Hi,” you try before you’re pushed back into your apartment.

Jennie closes the door behind you and drags the both of you into the living room. “Sit,” she demands, pointing at the couch.

You obey.

“Stay,” she continues, and walks to the kitchen.

Ten minutes later, Jennie walks out with a bowl of what you can assume to be hangover soup, something you will be eternally grateful for. After placing a spoon in your hand, she plops down on the cushion next to you and watches you eat. Initially, you’re fine with the staring, but after a few minutes, it starts to get creepy.

“Um, is there something on my face?” you ask, slightly disturbed.

She shakes her head. “No, sorry,” she sighs, turning her attention to the blank television. “Just thinking.”

“About what?” you inquire, curiosity piqued. You sound a lot better now; the soup has soothed your throat and given you a boost of energy.

Jennie shrugs. “About all the places you could’ve disappeared to last night.”

You sigh and place the bowl and spoon down on the coffee table. “Look, Jennie, last night–”

“Was probably completely my fault,” your best friend interrupts.

“What?”

She throws her hands up in exasperation. “___, I was the one dragged you to the club. I was the one who dragged you to the bar. I was the one who tossed you a wad of cash and then abandoned you in a room of filthy rich strangers.” Regret crosses her face. “If anything had happened to you, I would’ve been held responsible. Hell, I would’ve held myself responsible.”

“No,” you object. “It’s not your fault that you ‘lost’ me, Jennie. I decided to leave the club and didn’t call you. If there’s anyone to blame, it’s me. I’m responsible for myself—don’t feel obligated to be my babysitter because I was depressed last night. I can take care of myself.”

She sends you a pained smile. “But—”

“Nope.”

“I mean—”

“Nada.”

“Technically—”

“You’re fighting a battle you can’t win, hon,” you smile. “Come here.”

You open your arms and she crawls into your embrace. The two of you sit like that for a while, enjoying the other’s warmth.

“Fine,” she mutters, “but where did you disappear to last night?”

You pull back from the hug. “Do you remember the cute bartender?” you ask, and Jennie nods. “After you left me with the money—which I plan on returning to you, by the way—he took me to the back and showed me this... this glittery, golden stuff.”

“What?” Jennie shrieks. “Even the bartender is rich? I swear, Jackson better tell me why everyone in that club is filthy rich–”

“It wasn’t gold dust,” you interrupt. You begin fiddling with your fingers. “He told me it was pixie dust and then brought me up to the roof.”

You glance up to look at your friend and she’s bewildered, to say the least. “Excuse me?”

Nodding, you continue. “Yeah, and then he threw some at me and on himself and we started to fly. Or at least, I think we did.”

“What do you mean you think you did? Hell, ___, how many drinks did you have last night?” Her eyes widened. “Oh my god, you didn’t take any drugs, did you? I swear to all things that are holy that if you did, I will rip off your nails and feed them to my aunt’s alligator—”

“I didn’t do any drugs!” you deny. “And I didn’t drink that much either. Just that strawberry margarita you saw me down and that’s it. I was completely sober and 100% lucid.”

“Then why do you think that you flew?”

You press your lips into a tight line. “I don’t remember much after the first few minutes we started flying. I just remember crashing into Taehyung and him offering to let me fly the entire night.”

“Taehyung?”

“He’s the bartender,” you clarify. “And when I woke up, my memory was all blurry.”

Jennie shakes her head and tosses her arm over your shoulders. “Girl, I think you’ve gone insane. I’m not leaving you alone next time we go.”

You smile at her ruefully. “Yeah, I guess that’s for the best.”

–––

Two nights later, you find yourself at The Castle yet once again. This time, though, you’re on a different mission. Instead of getting drunk and trying to forget about what had happened, you’re trying to remember.

Specifically, what happened two nights ago.

After entering, you beeline to the bar where you remember where Taehyung worked. Sitting on a barstool, you wait for the brown-haired man to serve you.

But he’s not the one who greets you.

In his place is a black-haired, baby-faced man. He’s a few inches shorter than Taehyung (from what you can remember) and his fingers are long and slender.

He notices your gaze and drifts over to you. “What can I get you, miss?”

“I’ll get a strawberry margarita…” your eyes dart over to his nametag, “Yoongi.”

Yoongi shoots you a gummy smile. “Coming right up.”

While he shakes up your drink, you try to make some small talk. And get some answers, while you’re at it. “So, do you work here every night?”

The man shakes his head. “Nah, only from Monday to Thursday. My buddy Seokjin handles the rest.”

“Really?” When does Taehyung work, then? “Do you know of a Kim Taehyung that works at the bar, by any chance? I came here Saturday night and he served me.”

Yoongi frowns and slides you the strawberry margarita. “I don’t think so. It’s just me and Seokjin who work here.”

What?

“Oh,” you murmur, taking the drink. “I see.”

After asking around the club for a few hours with no avail, you decide to head home and deal with the mystery in the morning. It’s not like someone could work there for a night and then disappear, right?

You lock your apartment door behind you and kick off your shoes. Sighing, you decide to to call it a night—opening emails about residency can wait for tomorrow.

Just when you’ve finished slipping into a comfortable pair of sleeping shorts and an oversized t-shirt, you hear a peal of laughter coming from your balcony.

Confused, your sock-clad feet pad through your living room and you open the curtains to your balcony, only to see no one there. Unlocking the glass door that protects you from the outside, you step onto the concrete that juts out from the building. You abandon all fear and peer down at the streets under you, bright lights of cars flashing by.

A gentle breeze hits you and you swear that it’s carrying the sounds of Taehyung’s laugh. You whip around in hopes of seeing the man once again, but you’re met only with the cold air of the night.

However, a flash of white catches your eye. On the opposite corner of your balcony lies a white envelope on top of a small green box, its clean ivory paper contrasting with the dark green of the cardboard.

Ripping open the envelope, you read the letter that’s inside:

Dear ___,

I had such a lovely time with you a few nights ago. You were truly born to fly :)

However, it saddens me to say that I don’t think that you’ll be seeing me anymore. For reasons why, I cannot tell. Even so, please continue to live happily and healthily—never let obstacles stop you from reaching your goal.

But when you do inevitably stumble into a dark hole of hopelessness, please use the gift I’ve given to you to your advantage…

Wishing you a safe journey,

Kim Taehyung

Gift?

You immediately set the letter down and start to open the green box instead. Once you’ve undone the ribbons and tape, your eyes widen when you see what’s inside.

Within the cardboard walls sits a small pouch of pixie dust, identical to the ones that were hidden in the room behind the bar.

Why Taehyung would entrust this to you, you don’t know. But what you do know is that two nights ago, you believed in magic and a boy helped you fly. Two nights ago, he helped you look at the world through a different lens.

Your mind was opened, and your thoughts are clear. Looking up at the night sky, you smile.

“Thank you.”

#btswritingcafe #btsgoldnet #bangtanhq #btscreatorscorner #kim taehyung #bts #kim taehyung x reader #taehyung x reader #taehyung fic #bts fic #tokyii #bts fluff #bts angst #fluff #angst #w: pixie dust

34 notes · View notes

monkey-network · 4 years

Text

The Fiasco Finale of Future [1/2]

So in the penultimate episode of Steven Universe 2, the climax of both the season and series as a whole... is a group hug. As I expected, plenty were not too pleased with this turnout. Some felt it was anti-climatic, some felt it was resonating, and others tried to own the critics by digging deep into the scene like they always do sucking this show’s co- Coming from nearly a month later, I’m... split. One hand, I didn’t mind the climax. On the other hand, it was pathetic compared to plenty of other finales I’ve seen in media. It’s like this show as a whole, I enjoy it, but I also enjoy smacking it upside the head cuz it made some Karen-esque, All Lives Matter type stupid shit that I just cannot get behind. So you know what, Perry the Platypus, let’s mix it up. I wanna express the good and bad of this climactic end to the show and see where we can go from there. You ready?

What’s Good:

You truly wanna know what makes that final hug a great scene? A real showstopper? I have the truth, the best truth behind this, you won’t believe me but here goes. The climax worked because A Hug Is Nice. That’s it, there’s nothing else to it beyond a hug being nice. “But Monkey, you incel troll, there’s should’ve been more to that. The episode shouldn’t have taken that long to get to that point.” Well, in typical fashion, let me put it this way by talking about Spider-Man 2 (better than Spiderverse, don’t @ me). The whole movie is centered around Peter’s life getting shat on. He’s getting fired left and right, his people are abandoning him, he even loses his powers, he’s just at his utter lowest. But at his apartment, while contemplating, in comes his landlord’s daughter, Ursula, who offers him some chocolate cake and a glass of milk.

We can say the scene comes out of nowhere and that this is all that happens, feeling pointless, but I say this is an important scene because after everything that happens to him before, this one gesture from somebody out of nowhere to be honest was one of the nicest things he’s received in a while. It’s the seedling of a scene that keeps Parker going before Doc Ock comes to make him truly spring back into action. Above everything, it was nice. Like a hug.

I don’t need to be philosophically deep with SU2′s meta to tell you that a hug can be a worthwhile thing to get more than anything. It doesn’t resolve all the baggage Steven has in his mind, but a group hug from the people closest to you (and the Diamonds) can be a gesture so nice, it can numb you out, if only for a moment. Only other times where Steven got a hug was when he felt everything could be okay. With Lars, Peridot, and Connie after her “rejection”, and it’s after that “rejection” where he slowly loses it in his attempts to shake off that harsh feeling of abandonment and that everything can be okay. It is something where he can turn to the others for help but the concern of their response makes him reasonably suffer in silence. That last part is a little dumb, but I’ll get to that later. He can’t really hug himself because it doesn’t work like that. The point being that Steven, at his lowest, just needed something nice to consider. And a hug from everyone who loves him (and the Diamonds) can be that piece of chocolate cake he needed to be at ease, again, if only for a moment.

Like let me tell ya, as a deliriously depressed man that constantly wishes for death, a hug shouldn’t be spat on. Whether it be from your friends or mommy, a good hug can, at the very least, keep you sane and going. It isn’t medication, let’s not get it twisted, but a healthy remedy nonetheless, especially if you’ve ever felt touch-starved like I have before. It’s an affectionate gesture that for what it’s worth, should never be taken for granted. And while Steven could’ve well gotten this big type hug at almost any time he desired, I can at least appreciate the show for saving that at the right time. Whew. But, while the moment itself is nice, it’s predictably almost everything around it that unfortunately puts the moment in a vacuum and me with a bad taste in my mouth.

What’s Bad:

Let’s get this out the way, because I’m such a literal bastard... *inhale*

Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis. Penis.

MUSHROOM! MUSHROOM!

Congrats on those with the corrupted!steven theories who no doubt had it hard on when this horned trunk ascended, hung its head high, and beat its meaty chest with blind rage, the crewniverse certainly had the balls to go with this design and a long discussion of utilizing Monster Steven’s full potential. And if you think I’m nasty about this, hoo boy, be glad that words are all you’re seeing right now because artists no doubt had a field day potentially ruining this design for you even more. I’m surprised Tumblr’s flagging system hasn’t taken down whole posts with this. HEHEHEHAAAAAAAA!

As you can probably tell, I’m not a fan of this Diamond Dinodildo’s design (say that 5x times fast). I mean Rebecca could be as horny as she pleased with this show, but this is next level, I tell you. But seriously, it honestly sucked that this is what they came up with when it served no purpose to Steven thematically other than him being a literal peen of a monster. Said this before, but what does becoming a corrupted looking amalgamation mean to him beyond “he’s a monster”? Corrupted gems weren’t the worst things in his world, they were products of a even worse thing. Turning into a diamond like figure would’ve said something about the cycle of abuse making you not feel like yourself, but a reflection of who you not only resent more than anyone, but were the indirect causes of your newfound issues. That would’ve took his struggle in the Diamonds Days arc to its next logical extreme, and brought most of Future’s episodes centered around Steven’s issues to a sensible turning point. Being a warped Diamond version of himself would’ve meant finally embracing inhumanity, and that would’ve conveyed the peak of Steven harshly feeling less like a human over the course of the season, especially when we had several episodes and new powers centering around him being inhuman. And a previous episode had him try to shatter a Pink version of White Diamond, two beings generally responsible for everything that’s happened to him. And it isn’t the design that made this a turn off.

What was Steven even gonna do as a monster? He does nothing to the town, he never even makes it pass the cliffside. He doesn’t even try to attack anybody, the only times he does is when he’s provoked by either the Cluster, the Diamonds, or any of the gems. Spinel raised more hell than Steven. So on the look back it’s insultingly sad they hyped up this big dick energy only to do... genuinely nothing. He already didn’t deserve turning into Pinky the Phallisaurus, but having him not even do anything as a monster left far more to be desired. Mob Psycho 100 did this nearly identical, but better. You can’t deny that it would’ve worked better with 22 minutes, actually give him something to do beyond screech and stomp like he’s Scrat from Ice Age. As much as I don’t like Change Your Mind, 45 minutes worked to its favor to do everything it did. Oh wait, this episode did make good use of time... with a fucking pity party.

They wasted my baby

This is. The WORST scene in the entire series and I’ll stand by that 100%. It’s one thing to show something offensive, but it’s another to have something be completely pointless. Yes, Connie talked some sense into them, but we didn’t need to waste time having White Diamond and the others bitch about something everyone who isn’t a toesucking simp should’ve figured out at that point. Not like it mattered, the Diamonds and Spinel never show up after this episode anyways, so good job making them count for something, I guess. This as well as minorly acknowledge the fact that the gems had a lot to do with Steven’s mental trauma because hey, we don’t have to hold these gems too accountable for child neglect. Speaking of which, where was Jasp- This plays well into my previous point, we aren’t shown what Steven was gonna do as a monster, so what else is the episode to do beyond holding him back in time to just make the characters go “All is lost” for one second before getting back up like this is Marvel’s Captain Driftwood?

Friendship is Magic had this type of moment in its penultimate finale but in that, more time was given to show the villains getting the upper hand, Twilight at her low point, her turnaround with her friends, and the lead in charge to defeat the villains. While some moments felt convenient and downright insulting, they made the most of their limit. The same can’t be said for this and it makes no sense. Speaking of things that make no sense:

Was this shapeshifting or corruption? Rushing or dragging? This personally bothers me because people are saying he shapeshifted even when they were also on board with him corrupting. But what was the point where monster Steven cums cries into the ocean turning it pink?

Now if Steven got himself corrupted, this would make sense since the three Diamonds are there with so fully turning him back to normal wouldn’t be an issue. Questions would arise about how corruption can happen to a human, then again this is Steven Universe, fans never really wanted you to ask questions. But if this was shapeshifting, then why have this permanent monster form? It would’ve made a little more sense of Steven changing his shape depending on his emotions, like what we’ve seen before. Additionally, Steven should have been capable of talking normally instead of roaring and growling like he switched brains with an actual animal. Just because he kinned Godzilla’s joystick doesn’t mean he was unable to speak to anybody, that is if he shapeshifted. Lastly, and this is more implicit than my previous points:

This season shouldn’t have tried tacking mental issues and trauma onto this dickslap of a climax. I’m on the side where we should’ve seen more from monster Steven, but what does this tell me for the topic of mental health? Nearly killing people on three separate occasions didn’t help, but having him transform into a near mindless beast is a backhanded way to convey post traumatic stress. Let me put it this way, if we didn’t get that episode where we learn Steven had held up trauma and stress from Doctor Priyanka, everything surrounding it afterward wouldn’t feel as fucked up as it did. Yes, understanding a root of a character’s problems is good, beneficial even, but having your character nearly, sporadically, commit MURDER THREE TIMES only to then have him become a wildin’ creature does nothing, if not disgust. It's disgusting when you talk about PTS one minute and have your main character be socially dangerous the next. You’d feel sorry for him, sure, but I gotta say nearly killing people is not something we should just hand wave. That is not a good or realistic depiction of depression and post traumatic stress; especially when you trying to discuss this with children. And don’t try to justify it by saying it was necessary for his downward spiral. Having to think and see death before my own eyes in real life, there should’ve been a better way to make Steven hit rock bottom without putting other’s lives on the line. It wasn’t compelling or resonating to see him become a witless creature after saying he could get away with anything, it felt jarringly hallow and teeth gritting sadistic to think this was acceptable. It took him turning into a literal creature to finally go to therapy or a throwaway line about therapy in this show’s case? Are you kidding me?

The hug is a nice moment on its own, but it took far too many kneecaps to get to this point and think it’s believably or justly earned. I can make fun of the monster design all I want, but what they put Steven through to get to this point is the most insulting writing I ever have to think about. Because you know what that hug told me, personally? It’s that you can commit near irrefutable atrocities, you can behave like a blithering rampaging beast all you wish, but that won’t matter. Because you’re valid and your people will love you. That is not only asinine, but it kinda pissed on what I went through growing up. Like, as idealistic as that felt, it didn’t add up because it made the mentally unstable come off as more unstable than they mostly are. You can disagree all you want with this, it won’t change the baffling fact that I came to this conclusion in the first place when I didn’t want to. “But the crew said in an interv-” NO, just nope. If the message the show gives is this polarizing for those that invested or were concerned with it, maybe the message wasn’t clear enough, who knows? I can believe Mr. Rogers never fucked this up when he made his show. I tried thinking of this differently, but I can’t excuse what they did and how they did it. Bojack Horseman never pulled this with its main lead and when it truly did, that was given more time to sort out; not an 11 minute epilogue in its final moments. The hug was nice, but this episode was trash.

Speaking of which, next time...

We Finally Look to the Future

Here’s Part 2, if you’re up.

#su critical #su criticism #su critique #su #steven universe #steven universe future #su future #suf #analysis #reviews #Good Stuff #dumb #I am my monster #long post

33 notes · View notes

hu4ngs · 4 years

Note

jisung as your boyfriend! thank you ♡

AAAAAAAA THIS MADE ME SO SOFT jisung is a big baby

can u believe this baby is 18 this year? cuz i don’t

i personally REFUSE to believe he’s 18

anyway

you met jisung during a basketball match

it was your school against his

you weren’t really THAT supportive you just came because everyone told you there was gonna be handsome players

also the food stalls during school matches are always the b e s t

so here you are

you were happy that you got a pretty decent seating so you immediately started looking for cute players

you figured you probably looked focused as hell cuz that’s how you met jisung

he was sitting next to you, you can tell he’s from the other school judging from his school blazer

he chuckled looking at you squinting to see the match when it hasn’t even started

when he noticed that you noticed him, he immediately looked away

you stared at him for a couple seconds longer before diverting your attention back to the court

the horn blew, indicating the game had started

you noticed a light haired fella from the other school literally killing your school’s team

he was fast, he was sharp, you can tell he’s in ace

you watched him effortlessly shoot a 2-pointer goal, which made the guy next to you immediately cheer

you were a bit surprised from his sudden cheer, which made you jump

your attention diverted yet again to him

“is that your friend?” you asked absentmindedly

he was taken aback for a few seconds before finally nodding

“he’s gonna kill it” he said proudly

a smile automatically formed on your face, another favourite of yours is watching people get excited during matches

“are you here to support your whole school or to just support #30?” you asked again

he laughed shyly, “of course it’s to support the whole team. it just happens that my best friend is the ace of the team” he bragged a bit in his words

you giggled

you found him super cute

“what about you?” he asked

you were a bit embarrassed to admit that you were just here to look at cute players

so you went with option #2

you lied

it’s a white lie so it’s ok

“oh yeah, i’m here to show support for my school’s team” you said, although you sound hesitant

you thank the gods he didn’t question your hesitation though

“jisung” he muttered with a smile

“y/n” you told him back, and he nodded to himself before turning back to the game

you did the same

long story short

you ended up cheering with jisung together for his friend (which you learned his name was chenle)

you earned a lot of stares from your schoolmates though

but you didn’t care

from the looks of it, your school’s team was barely winning

chenle was really beating their asses off

“dude, your friend is on fire”

jisung nodded proudly

“what did i tell you? that’s an ace right there”

you giggled at him before continuing to cheer on for chenle

when the match ended, you had gathered up all the courage you had to ask him to go around the food stalls with you together

because 1) he’s genuinely the cutest boy you’ve ever met

and 2) you had no friends to do this with you

yknow like seulgi once said. sometimes you gotta be BOLD

so anyway

before jisung was even thinking of leaving the court, you had asked if he wanted to go around the food stalls with you

you noticed him get a bit too flustered with the request

your brain had immediately started telling you that this was a mistake

and that he probably has a girlfriend already or something

but then he said yes!!!!!

HE SAID YES!!!!!!!!

you probably realised a bit too late that you got a little too excited

bc by then jisung’s face was already red after seeing you like that

“sorry” you chuckled

and he shook his head, “it’s okay”

just when you’re about to ask him to get out of the court he said something

“is it okay if chenle joins, though?” he asked

you were 100% okay with that, although a small part of you wished it was just you and jisung

but at that time it was still too early for you to notice that

so you agreed wholeheartedly

so that’s the story of how you became friends with chenle and jisung

chenle wasted no time to show his true colours

by seconds he was already a loud, laughing mess

he’d also make fun of jisung whenever he has the chance and you find their jokes toward each other to be super funny

you were super glad that this whole thing didn’t turned out to be awkward

when the overall event was coming to an end, you had to go on your own way

jisung made sure he got your number before you two depart,,, so that’s saying s o m e t h i n g

and after you left..... poor jisung was teased even more by chenle

“you asked for their number FIRST? you like them don’t you?” chenle asked teasingly, nudging jisung by his arm

“do me a favour, and just, shut up? please?”

chenle laughed

“i’m just saying, if you need help to ask a certain someone out.... i’m right here” he said proudly while puffing his chest out

ANYWAY

days after the event,,, like literally so many days later

you find yourself not able to stop texting jisung

the conversation just keeps on going

it’s crazy

you didn’t think he’d be a good texted but he simply is

whenever you text him first he’d immediately come online??? that’s a whole MAN

and he always have something interesting to say that would keep the conversation going

you find yourself drawn to him

it’s crazy

you’ve never felt like this before

like okay, you’ve had crushes before

but you never felt like THIS

everyday you’ll find yourself wishing that you’d get to see him again

and it’s really driving you crazy

like y/n???? smitten over a boy????? that’s crazy

jisung, on the other end, also felt the same

he lowkey wants to go watch a movie with you or something

but he can’t admit that to anyone

he can’t admit it to chenle because chenle will LOSE his mind

and he most definitely can’t admit it to you in fear he’d get rejected or get you weirded out

so he’s basically stuck

sometimes he’s on the subway on the way home and he sees two couples in it with him wearing matching jackets or are talking about getting boba together,,,,, he lowkey wishes he’d get to do that with you

it’s really driving him mad bc he can’t tell if he’s in love or just lonely or just going through puberty

he’s not really one to understand these type of feelings yknow.....

at the end he decided to contact his long lost friend

who’s like super older than him

it’s taeyong

he’s contacting taeyong

one night he suddenly sent taeyong a text

which caught the elder one off guard cuz it’s been so long since they talked

but it’s okay taeyong’s a nice person

when he asked jisung what was up

jisung immediately went into details

he told taeyong everything

from the basketball match

to the way you always stays online and wait for him to finish typing bc he admits he’s a bit of a slow typer

and he admits to taeyong that he does wanna hang out with you again

and not,,, platonically,,,, he genuinely wants to take you out on a date

taeyong let out a laugh when he read jisung’s super long explanation on what’s bothering him

he gave jisung advice alright

and he tried as hard as he could to make sure it was a good advice too

because it’s probably the first time the boy has ever felt like this, he can’t ruin this for him

and thanks to taeyong, jisung felt like the clouds in his head was finally clearing up

he was finally able to see a solution

which wasn’t that much hard to find,,, but he needed assurance from an older, experienced man

so yes, jisung ended up asking you out

when you received that text you were blown out of your mind

you were literally on cloud 9

the butterflies in your stomach? there were swarms of them

you couldn’t get a good night’s rest because your mind won’t let you stop thinking of the fact that you just got asked out on a date

BY PARK JISUNG TOO!!!!!

who’s doing it like you? not me, not anyone else. YOU’RE DOING IT LIKE YOU

jisung even made it clear that there wasn’t going to be a zhong chenle this time. just the two of you

and you find it sweet of him to reassure you that

nah, you’re just smitten by him

LMAO

so anyway

you spent your whole trying to find the perfect outfit

best believe you even went out to buy a pair of new shoes too

that’s how in love you are

on d-day, you two met in the subway

you met him after two stops, and he looked SOOOOO good

he literally looks like your future boyfriend

he wore something simple, but it really complimented his figure

unlike the other time you saw him, this time he wasn’t in his school attire, he had one airpod in, and overall he just looks dashing

you figured by now you ARE in love, because no boy wearing black jeans with a pair of converse topped with an adidas jacket had ever made you feel this way

but you’re not gonna complain

if you’re gonna fall in love with someone, it better be park jisung

when he noticed he thought similarly as you did too

he wondered how you could so good wearing something so simple

yup. if he was gonna get boba with somebody, it better be you

the subway was kinda full, so you were standing

he immediately went over to you

and you were lowkey blushing looking at how tall he was now that he’s standing right in front of you

“you look good” you commented, to make things less awkward, although that obviously backfired, because jisung immediately turned shy

“you.... you look good, too” he mumbled, looking away

luckily, after a few stops, both of you warmed up again to each other

he asked you about your day, and as usual you somehow carried away with talking about completely unrelated topic

but that’s what attracted jisung the most

he doesn’t do much of the talking

but he sure as hell enjoys listening to you talk

you were amusing too, and on top of that you made sure you weren’t just blabbing about yourself, you made sure he finds the fun in the conversation too

when you arrived at the mall, neither of you knew what you wanted to do

so you both ended up wandering around the big mall, and every once in a while you’d stop at a fast food restaurant to eat something light

you had to admit, even though you two weren’t doing anything specific, you were sure having a lot of fun

when (still) wandering around the mall, you two walked by a phone cover store

and jisung had the bravest, most brilliant idea ever

he asked if you wanted to get matching phone covers and honestly that was the sweetest thing someone has ever said to you

and like??? getting matching phone covers with jisung???? YES PLEASE

you agreed with your whole heart bruh let me TELL you

and that’s how jisung finally knew nothing wrong could really go with confessing

after buying matching phone covers, he finally fulfilled his wish to get you both boba

AND in the boba store

it’s not the most romantic way nor place to confess but,,, that’s jisung for you

it’s not the fanciest place ever, but it’s still the sweetest thing to happen to you

ngl you were gonna cry but you’re a bad bitch so you DIDN’T

so now he’s your boyfriend

and compared to before, he became way awkward now, more than ever

but again, that’s just park jisung for you

he gets shy super quickly

and i’m not saying you aren’t shy too, but sometimes whenever you absentmindedly grab his hands to go somewhere or something, boy, he will n o t stop thinking about it

good news is that you two go on dates much more often now

and he’d visit you sometimes when he has the time whenever you have extra classes

and he strictly asked you not to reveal your relationship to chenle yet because he wasn’t sure if he was ready to face that boy yet

anyway

so during the first few........ months of dating, please don’t expect to have that much hand touching, or hugs, let alone any types of kisses

he’s just that awkward

and he’s super grateful if you understand him and doesn’t pester him to do any coupley things

in fact he’d fall in love with you even more if you’re like that

but eventually he’ll come around anyway

he wouldn’t really initiate anything first other than the simple arm-around-shoulders thing, but he definitely won’t flinch or blush like a madman whenever you hug him or hold his hand

daily facetimes with him are a must that’s a requirement from park jisung himself

he doesn’t show it but we all know he’s secretly clingy

like SUPER clingy but in his own way

if you don’t give him attention he’s definitely gonna sulk

if you give chenle more attention, he’s 100% gonna sulk

once again he doesn’t tell you about it, but he LOVES having his arm around your shoulders especially when you two are in public

he lowkey likes the feeling??? like it kinda boosts his ego when he does this so he does it a lot

he doesn’t buy you gifts too much but he definitely loves hanging out/going out on dates with you

he’ll definitely buy you all the foods you want too

when he does buy you gifts he’d buy you little things like a keychain of your favourite anime character maybe, or a pair of adorable socks, maybe a cute little necklace and a shitton of phone covers

whenever you’re stressed out with your studies he wouldn’t bother you, but he’ll definitely accompany you if you asked him

he’ll comfort you a lot when you’re breaking down, although he doesn’t say much, but having him hold you tightly in his embrace is enough comfort for you, especially when it’s coming from jisung

your first kiss together would be waaaay overdue tbh

like, your first kiss is probably a year after dating he’s just that shy

but it’s sweet

best believe this time it’s jisung that initiated the first move

as usual you guys are on a date

and unlike other dates, you guys decided to have a picnic by the river

and unlike other dates pt. 2, he’s much more smitten for you than he has been the other days

maybe you surprised him at school when he’s super stressed out

maybe you brought him something he had been wanting to have

maybe you took him out to a cafe that he’s been craving

WE’LL NEVER KNOW but he’s super smitten

and his heart keeps racing in a different way whenever he sees you on that particular day

so when you were busying yourself taking cute pics of the river with the sunset

he suddenly slides in his hand onto your cheek

which caught you off guard

you were like,,,,,

“is this really my boyfriend is he really doing something other than having his hand on my shoulders?”

you’re lowkey panicking and excited to see what’s he gonna do next

at first jsung was hesitant but his heart was screaming for him to do it

so HE DID

he leaned in and kissed you

and you gladly kissed him back,,, hell, you’ve been waiting a lifetime for this moment

your kiss with him was super innocent, and was so gentle

it was perfect

you two were on the picnic blanket, by the river, accompanied by the sunset

you can’t think of any better way for you to share your first kisses with each other

and to top that all up, after all that, he told you that he loves you for the first time ever

and that’s a lot for jisung

in conclusion, jisung will be a hard shell to break

it will take a lot of patience from you

but it’s all worth it because he’s a treasure

he will cherish you so so so so so much

and if that’s not love idk what is

don’t ever break his heart or trust bc he can NEVER handle that

OH also on a side note now that you’re dating jisung, you’ll have to deal with chenle too

he WILL annoy you as much as he annoys jisung it’s just zhong chenle tingz

lastly, jisung would probably, at one point in your relationship, tell you that he’s glad he shared his firsts with you because he honestly can’t think of a better person

ugh wtf im jealous somebody get me a bf like park jisung pls

37 notes · View notes

greatfay · 4 years

Note

atla for the ask meme, again! and some unpopular opinions thrown in maybe? mwah

my all-time ultimate fave character:

Prince Zuko. The angst, the drama, the stream of terrible choices, the hair (all four phases of it), and of course, the redemption. Zuko fucked me up as a kid. He set the bar so high for redemption arcs, and still to this day I’ve yet to see someone live up to it. STILL. Actually maybe Minya in Laini Taylor’s Strange the Dreamer, where the only truly evil characters are long-dead before the story starts. But Zuko really set the bar. He just tries SO hard, the way they handled his character was celestial.

a character I didn’t used to like but now do:

Azula. Don’t drag me but obviously the first time I saw Azula, I was, what, 10? I actually think my timeline was off, in my Harry Potter post I said something about Book 2 coming out when I was 10 , I think I was 11. Anyway, the first time I saw Azula I was just like fuck she’s scary, and throughout book 2 she compounded this point by being fucking scary, so I didn’t like her because she’s The Bad Guy.

But then my brain grew in and now I’m like “she’s the most psychologically complex character I’ve ever seen in my life” and I literally love her. I could write an essay on how she’s not a sociopath at all, she’s got a Machiavellian type-A personality but she’s not a sociopath (which I think strips a lot of complexity from her character), she’s very much a product of her environment and it’s a fascinating examination of Nurture vs. Nature when you compare her and Zuko.

She turns defense into offense, look at that. She never loses ground in a fight.

a character I used to like but now don’t:

Hmm... I don’t think my opinion has changed on any of them tbh. They’re well-rounded, likable characters. Oh there’s one, Master Pakku! As a kid I was like oh he sucks cuz he’s sexist, then he trains Katara and I’m like ok he’s cool. But then?? I grew up and realized this man enforces this same societal bullshit, he just made an exception for Katara because he had a hard-on for her grandma so it’s some Snape bullshit lmao. So he’s the only I started to like and stopped liking.

a character I’m indifferent about:

Suki. She’s often depicted (in media and out) as a part of Team Avatar, despite appearing in only 4 episodes. FOUR. I really like her character, mostly because she’s a great example of a character playing important roles who doesn’t need a big character arc or development or even flaws. Think about it: Suki doesn’t have character flaws. She’s noble, honest but not naive, clever, a good leader, she doesn’t have flaws, she’s there to be there, and that’s perfectly fine. Wish I knew more about her tbh, like where is she by the timeline of Legend of Korra.

a character who deserved better:

Suki, lmao. Because she doesn’t appear a lot. And Ursa I guess, because I read Smoke & Fire and her arc with her daughter rejecting her face is so weird to meeeeee. It’s such a weird element.

a ship I’ve never been able to get into:

Zukaang. One’s a middle-schooler and the other is a high school junior, ew lmao. Zukka as well because idk, by the time these two interact without anyone else, other ships have cropped up and taken hold. Also Tyzula because Azula is cruel to her (but she’s also one of the few people she shows genuine affection toward without performing).

a ship I’ve never been able to get over:

None. I’m fine with most of the canon pairings but not head over heels. Maybe Sokka/Yue? That was sad.

a cute, low-key ship:

Zuko and his honor.

an unpopular ship but I still enjoyed it:

None tbh!

a ship that was totally wrong and never should have happened:

Ursa/Ozai lmao. Poor Ursa.

my favourite storyline/moment:

All of the tension from several gd episodes that led up to the Crystal Cave climax of Book 2. Runner up is Katara’s revenge arc. Bro... she stopped the rain. And I loved the look of awe on Zuko’s face like “thank GOD I switched sides.”

a storyline that never should have been written:

None?? ATLA is a near-perfect story. The ending is the most controversial part but I’m old enough now that I get it. I guess energy bending could’ve been hinted at way earlier, like maybe by the Guru guy, but I’m cool with the ending.

my first thoughts on the show:

Great show, love it, I wanna be an airbender, wtf was that ending.

my thoughts now:

Great show, love it, I wanna be an airbender, ohhhh of course the 12-year-old wasn’t going to murder a man on a children’s show lmao I get it now. And that’s that.

Ask me about a tv series/movie/franchise/book!

#atla #avatar #Anonymous

12 notes · View notes

peaches-of-1 · 5 years

Text

📷 Photo Evidence 🍋

Jay Park x Female!Reader x G Dragon

Summary: You and your friend are invited to a pool party for Jay Park’s not yet released song and it’s not only the water that gets you wet.

You had put on your favorite bathingsuit today for the pool party concert you were invited to through some connections. They would be using it for filming but wanted it to be a genuine party. One of your best friends was a makeup artist, so she wanted to do your makeup for it.

“I have products that could withstand armageddon.” She said.

“I’m going swimming. I don’t need makeup to swim.”

Then she corrected you, “You’ll be swimming on camera, though. I won’t do anything crazy. At least let me give you a red lip or something. Please? It’s an AOMG party. You have to let me do your makeup. Glitter. C’mon, (Y/N). I’ve never bothered you this much about makeup before.”

“Prom?”

“It was prom, and it was just foundation, eyeliner, and gloss!”

You rolled your eyes, but she got on her knees and hugged your legs. There was no way you could reject her. She was a makeup artist. You’d look fine no matter what she did.

With a sigh, you said, “Ok, only a red lip and some liner. I don’t wanna do any foundation or anything too extreme.”

“BB Cream at least? Smooth the pores?”

“Tilly!”

She put her hands up, “Ok, lip and liner. Nothing more. I’m doing eye primer though to make sure it lasts.”

“Fair enough.”

After Matilda aka Tilly finished, you were glad she didn’t do more than she said. The lips were more pink than red, but at least it matched your bathing suit. It wasn’t too extreme considering how she usually styled you for celebrity events. You weren’t even a celeb. Not an idol. Not a model. Just you.

You threw on some denim shorts, a crop top, and some sandals you wouldn’t mind being affected by the pool chlorine. After borrowing a pair of Tilly’s glasses and making sure you had everything you needed in your tote bag, you and her left your apartment and hopped into a taxi. The drive wasn’t too long, and all expenses would be paid once you showed the valet your invite. You and Tilly listened to all of the songs that had come out by AOMG artists.

To be completely honest, rap and hip-hop weren’t your favorite genres, but you loved the artists more than their art. However, 90% of Jay Park’s stuff was a bop. Tatted head to toe. You wondered if there were any that you didn’t know about and where they were.

Tilly tapped your arm, “You good, sis?”

“Uh, yeah. Just thinking.”

“You think too much.” She scoffed. “What was it this time?”

Jay Park’s possible dick tat…“Nothing.” You replied. “Just a bit nervous, ya’know? What if something happens?”

She laughed, “Like what? Jay-oppa notices you and you get into the VIP area?”

“Oh my god! Even if I did, we would only be using our lips.”

“To suck dick!”

“To talk! To ask why I’m there in the first place.”

Tilly laughed, “You don’t have to be innocent with me, (Y/N). I’ve seen your computer.”

Your cheeks began to burn, “You what?”

“I was joking, but now I’m curious.”

“Don’t be.” You shoved her arm.

The pair of you began to wonder if you should’ve gone to a cafe first even though you had eaten at home. Not too much because you wanted it to all be down before getting in the pool and drinking some booze. Once at the party, you got the driver paid and he asked if you guys needed to be picked up afterwards. Tilly said she’d let him know and he drove off.

The shorter valet asked if you girls wanted to be entered in a raffle to get backstage passes. You both said yes cuz why not? Phone number and name. They’d text you if you won. Then off to the pool deck. Lots of people had shown up already and sat around the edge looking cute. Why the hell were there heels beside some sunbathers? Ugh. Like, it’s fine to be fashionable and whatnot or like to feel tall, but it’s a pool High heels weren’t the smartest idea for footwear.

Then again, Tilly was wearing peep toes behind you. You two parked your things besides two pool chairs that were next to each other and then walked around to check things out after discarding your tops to reveal the bathing suits underneath. You had talked her into wearing matching gold body chains the day before but now wondered if it made you stand out too much.

You looked out from behind your reflective monsters that a fan gave Tilly from Gentle Monster, but she had just bought the same pair in a different color. The fan sent one was her fave color, so she gave the ones she bought herself to you. So many young fans, no one over 35 in sight, or at least they had gotten enough work done that they didn’t seem their age.

“So, we gots a bar, an off limits lounge, food, and lots and lots of pool toys.” Tilly announced. “What do you wanna do first, (Y/N)?”

“Food.” You answered as if it was the obvious answer. Cuz it was.

Where the food was located, it was all Valentine’s Day themed. The video would be coming out that day as well. In a week. You were excited to see it mostly because of Jay Park and whoever his special guest was. Most of the internet said it was Mino from Winner or one of the rookie rappers that came out this year.

If it was being teased this much, it probably was someone more famous than a rookie. At least, that was your plan of thinking. You piled your plate up with fruits and all sorts of chocolates. There was a fountain, so you stuck a skewer through some mini soft pretzels and let the milk chocolate drizzle all over them.

“Someone’s got a sweet tooth.”

A voice made you jump as you pulled the skewer back. You set it on your plate and looked back to see Jay Park smiling at you. Where the fuck was Tilly?

“Yeah,” You said. “It’s a 24/7 thing. Never a thing as too many sweets.”

He laughed, “You got that right. Wanna do me a favor?”

“Depends what it is.”

Jay smiled, “I like a clever girl. Anyways, here.” He handed you a pink camera. “Take a few good shots for me? Just stick ‘em on any board you come across.”

You shrugged, “Sure, sounds like fun.” You grabbed the camera. “Can’t wait to see you perform later.”

“Well, I just hope you like it.”

“I probably will.” To say you couldn’t breathe would be an understatement.

The Jay Park was smiling and chilling right there in front of you. Someone called his name and he had to go prep or something. You exhaled and wanted to scream, but you were able to snap a pic of him walking away with one hand. He turned around, and you just smiled.

“You told me to get good shots.” How the f were you being so smooth?

He pointed at you and then continued on his way. Internal screaming intensified. You looked around and noticed the other eyes watching. Tilly. You walked back to your seats and set your plate on the small table near it.

“Gorl,” She said.

“I know!”

Her eyes were wide with shock, “What the frick? He gave you a camera?”

“He wants me to get some good shots of the party. I don’t know what they’ll be used for, but I can’t believe he asked me directly.”

“What did you say to him?” She patted her knees in excitement.

So you told her about how you might have flirted on accident and she told you to secure the Jay shaped bag. As if you could! You decided it was just an artist to fan thing and did as told after eating your fill of chocolate covered salty bread. Most of them were taken of just the scenery and of Tilly. Some of them were taken together in cute poses.

After they were spat out all aesthetic and stuff, you went through and chose your favorites to put on the board. They were sectioned off into colors. Blue, mint, pink, white, red, and orange. You guessed it was just to make sure that’s how they made sure which pics came from where or whatever.

Then as the sun went down, an official looking person asked for the camera back. It was hard to take pics in the dark. Made sense. You danced to the music on one of the floating stages with Tilly’s hand on your hip. Some tipsy dude bro decided to dance behind her. She raised her brow, and you put your tongue in your cheek. Not her type.

The two of you jumped in the water and swam off to the next stage over.

You were now closest to the stage when the lights suddenly changed.

“Yo, waddup, waddup?” Jay showed up with a mic pressed to his lips.

Everyone cheered.

“How we feelin, tonight?”

Louder cheering.

He smiled, “That’s what I like to hear! Now I know y’all out here to hear my new song tonight, but we gonna sing some of your faves first.”

He launched into “Ain’t No Party Like an AOMG Party” and went straight into “Soju” the remix and all the other peeps he collabed with showed up to. Then your fave Jay Park song came on, and you screamed so loud that Tilly was shook. Then she laughed at you. This was your song! Your body moved to it as your mouth moved the words like it was a prayer you knew from birth. Then again, if this was prayer, you’d become a nun or a monk.

Some girls in hot pink bikinis and guys in their own bathing suits began to get into place and dance as a familiar song came one. It was the tattoo you had gotten on your hip. “Mommae” You and Tilly began to twerk to the song like every other girl at the party, even some guys to be real with you fam.

“Get it, Gold Chain!” You heard from the main stage.

Turning your head, you saw him pointing directly at you. At this point, you were loosened up enough not to care about everyone staring at you shaking your ass. So you turned around and twerked in a circle getting more cheers.

“Yeah, girl!” he laughed and copied you.

You laughed as well and onto Tilly’s shoulder. Once a new song came on, you didn’t know this one, like at all. It was a bop and a half. You danced with your bestie as he rapped and then another familiar voice was heard.

Then screams so loud that they’d break the sound barrier. G Dragon’s first public appearance since being discharged. He got a lot of the weight off, but that was the life of an idol. There was like half a love handle left and you loved it for sure. They sounded damn good together. Everyone cheered when it was over and didn’t mind the cameras and drones.

“Thank you!” G Dragon said and bowed.

Jay jumped on his back and screamed. They were such dorks. Then the two men went backstage and told everyone to have fun. You and Tilly went back to your seats to dry off and get some more drinks and food. It was greasy and carbfilled, so you hadn’t gotten too drunk yet. Maybe a little bit past tipsy.

You still had your own head and chilled on the side for a bit as other AOMG hits played. Tilly began gushing about how Jay had noticed you again. She loved coming to parties with you because of how different you seemed. Of course it was just cuz you loved a party whether there was booze or not. As long as there was music and room to dance, you were gonna have a good time.

Then you checked your phone and replied to some messages, took a selfie or six. Some Snapchat video. Insta too. Then you got a text from an unsaved number.

> Hey there, (Y/N). You win the backstage pass! Meet me by the Tiki Bar ASAP.

OMG are you serious?<

>Absolutely! Do you accept or should we choose another winner?

I’m on my way! <

“Tilly, I won the backstage pass!” You said as you pulled your shorts on. “Watch my stuff and don’t go home with any strangers unless you send me a pic of their face first.”

“I ain’t going home with anyone. Here.” She said as she handed you the lipstick she had used on you.

Just because you didn’t know what would happen and a part of you hoped your fantasies had part in it, you refreshed it and then stuck it in your pocket. You thanked her and then started walking to the meeting location.

Tilly then called after you. “Get sum dick, gurl!”

You shook your head with a smile and went to the Tiki Bar with your phone in your back pocket and praying no one knocked you into the water. Luckily, you made it to the bar as dry as possible. The woman checked your phone to make sure you were actually the winner. You also had to take a breathalyzer test.

“Good enough.” She said.

What did that mean? Then you were taken into the VIP area. Black lights and neon lights led you up the stairs.

There were three doors at the top of the stairs. One with a cloud, a pink heart, and a t-shirt. You were told to ender the cloud room, so you did.

You approached the bed and saw your pink camera there on pink fur. Well, it wasn’t yours, but it was the one that had been given to you earlier by--

“So, you won.”

“Holy fu--Jay!” You were thinking of punching him. “Stop sneaking up on me, holy crap!”

He laughed, “Sorry. But I’m glad it was you.”

You smiled and felt your cheeks blushing, “Thanks. Um, so what do we do? This seems more VIP than Backstage.”

The platinum blonde GD walked up to you two, “Depends. What do you wanna do? I mean, I have some ideas, but I wanna know if you’re up for it.”

“Tell what you have in mind and I’ll let you know.” You replied.

“You were right about her.” He smirked at Jay and picked up a camera. “First, some memorial pics.”

So the boys got some pictures of you and them being all cute in the neon scene. One of their managers took the photos when both of them wanted to be next to you. You were sitting on their laps when GD kissed your neck, and you made a noise. It was maybe a moan. More like a gasp. Jay just smirked and told the manager they’d take the rest of the pics. She set the camera down on a surface and left.

“What was...that?” You looked at him.

“My original idea.” He smirked at you.

Jay squeezed your hand, “Do you want to?”

You nodded, “Yeah, but I get to say no at any time.”

He smiled and then you looked over at G Dragon to see him grinning as well and then licking his lips as he surveyed your body.

“Of course.” Said Jay Park.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.” G Dragon agreed and began kissing your neck once more.

You giggled and the other began to wrap his arms around your waist and pull you closer to his chest. Your eyes fluttered shut as he kissed your lips as if it were the last drop of water on Earth. Ring covered hands began to feel up your body through the bathing suit. Even though you felt G Dragon move from the bed, you were too preoccupied to give it any more thought. Jay’s hands rubbed up your thighs to the waist of your jean shorts.

He unbuttoned them with his lips still locked on yours and slid his hand down. You moaned into his kiss when you heard the click of a camera. Looking at the source, G Dragon had the pink camera in his hands once more...and his tank top was tucked into his pocket.

“What a beautiful shot.” He said as he grabbed the photo and fanned it to help it dry. “Very nice. You wanna see?”

You nodded and he showed you the sensual picture. Jay asked if he could keep it, and you said yes. He smiled and turned you around to straddle him as your lips met once more. Another click, but you ignored it this time as you got brave and took off Jay’s shirt to place pink kisses all over his neck and chest. This was all going to your head, but you’d let it just for tonight.

His hands grabbed at your breasts, and you could feel him smile as you returned to his lips. You tipped him over until his back was flat on the bed. He rolled over so that he was on top of you now. Another click, this time from Jay Park himself. You were already breathing hard and things had barely even started.

“God damn, Beautiful!”

He got off of you as G Dragon began to slide your shorts off. Click. Click. And tossed them to the side. You only saw wet blonde hair as his mouth tugged on the area of gold chain which rested on your bathing suit covered stomach. A moan escaped when you felt his fingers slide into your wet pussy.

Click.

“Oh fuck!”

“Who, me?” GD asked with a cocky grin.

He trailed his tongue all the way up the chain until it reached your neck. You’d be wearing turtlenecks until summer with all the attention he gave the space above your shoulders. Although you wanted to give a cocky response, his tongue was too good to even think about speaking. And the way he was grinding on you told you he wanted to use so much more to please you.

Your hands began to undo his belt and you gave breathy moans from underneath him.

“Take ‘em off.” You said and looked over at Jay. “You too.”

“Yes, ma’am.” GD said. “Eager, aren’t we?”

You bit your lip as their members sprang free. They had been ready for a while, it seemed, probably since pictures. You couldn’t help but lick your lips. Click. It wasn’t until now that you realized that the kiss marks you had left on him were glowing under the blacklights. GD’s lips had a slight glow to them as well.

A naughty part from inside you wondered what else you could get to glow as you beckoned Jay towards you. God, you just wanted his cock inside you. Wanted to taste it. So you did. You licked around the tip and grinned to yourself when you saw that there was a tattoo on his cock. It said “Handle with care”

You laughed, “Oh look, it comes with directions. Hopefully it’s not the only way it comes.”

Before he could reply, you loosened your jaw to take him in. Not spectacularly long but thick as hell. He cursed as you took him in. Click. He really wasn’t one to miss out on a photo opportunity.

“Look at me, Beautiful.” He said and took a photo when you did.

GD grabbed the straps of your bathingsuit, “Don’t want this getting dirty, so let’s get it off of you, huh?”

You let him strip you of the rest of you ‘clothing’ and noticed Jay shifting his attention to the man behind you. Click, and G Dragon chuckled. You couldn’t really look back, so you just trusted him to show you the picture once it came out of the camera, which he did. It was a photo of G Dragon opening a condom wrapper with his teeth.

Then click from behind you, “You’re so wet, Beautiful. You ready?” the blonde asked.

You nodded and he slid into your vag with much ease, letting out a lovely moan as he did. The trusts on both sides became more animalistic. Jay used both hands to keep your head still as he fucked your eager mouth. Your favorite part was that they weren’t afraid to let out their groans of pleasure and praise you every chance they got.

“Oh, god, (Y/N). You’re so. Ah! Good, (Y/N)!” the AOMG member crooned while the BigBang member left hot breath and steaming kisses down the spine of your back.

“Oh, your pussy clamps down on me when we say your name. You like us calling out your name, (Y/N)?”

You could only moan in reply. It did make your pussy tingle to hear two of the most handsome men on the planet say your name as if it were the name of a goddess. As Jay got more erratic with his thrusts, you could tell that he was close. The strings of curses got longer.

GD chuckled, “Close, old friend?”

“Yeah. Yeah. So, unf, close. (Y/N)~” He had his head thrown back, and you couldn’t help but whine at the way he moaned your name. “Close your eyes, Beautiful.”

You did as told and kept your mouth open as he rubbed himself in front of you, moaning and panting until you felt wet ropes of heat on your face. He was pleased with himself. Click. A souvenir of his work. It was soon after that G Dragon did the same, releasing into the condom and taking a moment before sliding out.

He tied it off and then the two boys switched. Jiyong kissed your cum covered lips and flipped you on your stomach, 69-ing you while Jay got himself ready again. Your legs began to shake as you came. GD kept them open as you moaned all over his cock and your eyes were shut tight as he kept lapping up your juices as you orgasmed.

When he took his cock out of your mouth, you were breathing so hard. You couldn’t recall the last time you came like that.

“Fuck.” You laughed.

“Speaking of which. We’re not done yet, (Y/N).”

You couldn’t help but smile at the wild sparkle in Jay’s eyes. You spread your legs wide enough and let himself get situated. He pulled you up into his lap so that he could kiss you while GD kissed your shoulders. Part of you told you not to be so loud, but it was being drowned out by your moans. The smells of sex and three orgasms filled your nose.

Tilly was right. The passing thought came to you. Your tongues tangled with the rapper in front of you as you gripped his shoulders tightly. The next orgasm was collecting rapidly in the pit of your stomach.

“Relax, beautiful.” Jay said. “We’ve got you.” He looked into your eyes.

You nodded, “Ok, Jay.”

That boy was tiny but knew how to work his mf’n hips! You screamed his name and GD’s as he played with your exposed breasts and nipples. You were gonna cum again, and Jay chuckled in your ear.

“Let’s do it together, yea?”

“Yeah.” You replied breathlessly.

It wasn’t even five minute later as you rested your head in the nape of neck and felt the wave of pleasure crash. Jay Park pushed your back on the bed and then slid out of you to let himself cum onto your heaving stomach and chest while GD came on your face. They laid next to you and told you to smile for the camera.

Click.

You didn’t know how long you had been gone until you saw Tilly backing dat azz up on a cute stranger. The three of you had had one more round in the shower as you got cleaned up. Your bestie quickly came towards you, drink in hand and obviously knowing what happened.

“I want details.” She smiled.

“You were right, but it was both of them.”

“Both of who?”

They had come out of the house and people cheered for them as they jumped into the pool with the remaining party guests. Mostly just AOMG members and the people they were planning to sleep with and their friends and a few managers who were off the clock. Also a few people passed out here and there. G Dragon called out to you.

“Yo, Gold Chains, join us!”

“Gorl.” Her eyes widened at you.

“Girl, I know!” You replied.

The two of you grabbed hands and ran and jumped into the pool together. You stayed until the threat of sunrise showed in the sky. The two of you were given gift bags and one of Jay’s drivers to take you both back home. You and Tilly couldn’t stop talking and fangirling as you told her everything. She was only shown a few of the pictures of you still clothed.

#Jay Park #G Dragon #G-Dragon #GD #AOMG #BigBang #Jay Park x Reader #Reader x Jay Park #Reader x GD #GD x Reader #G Dragon x Reader #Reader x G Dragon #Kwon Jiyong #Jiyong x Reader #Reader x Jiyong #lemon #pool party

96 notes · View notes

girlbookwrm · 5 years

Text

It’s here! At last! THE MIGHTY PRE ENDGAME REWATCH CONTINUES, WITH:

AKA IS IT MY BIRTHDAY? YES. YES IT IS.

(or it was at any rate, it took me Some Time to get this all typed up because holy fuck it’s long. looks like i’ve got Some Feelings about The Winter Soldier. WHO KNEW)

ANYWAY, if you’re wondering what the hell this is all about i’ve been rewatching all the marvel movies (and commentating on them) in preparation for Avengers: Endgame and NOW IT IS TIME FOR MY FAVORITE ONE

I got @goteamwin and @pegasuschick here IT’S A PARTY! WE GOT COOL RANCH DORITOS AND BRAINWASHED SUPERSOLDIERS LET’S DO THIS.

Day 912: i still miss the old marvel logo

LISTEN THIS IS THE BEST OPENING SCENE IN MARVEL HISTORY FIGHT ME.

“~on your left ;)~” honestly? iconic.

God Bless Steven Grant Rogers and his Smedium Shirts.

Steve, known bisexual disaster, is hitting on Sam here. this isn’t even in question, right? Sam’s quip about “making me look good to the girl at the front desk” was a soft rejection and Steve takes it like a champ.

Important to note: the black widow uses emojis in her text messages.

Also important to note: Sam Wilson hits on the Black Widow because he flies into combat at 100 miles per hour wearing a tee-shirt and dad jeans he fears nothing not even death itself

also also important to note that The Roommate went to see this movie by herself, low key cosplaying as Fem!Cap. she did this in part because I had gone to see it first (i was in the UK at the time, and it came out over there before it came out in the US. ~IRONY~) and as soon as I got back from seeing it (i had low-key cosplayed as fem!Hawkeye. it’s a long story) I emailed her and was like O HAI U SEEN DIS? U WILL LIKE IT. ~and she dii-iiiiiid.~

every time i see this scene now, i hear that bit from the gag real.

cevans: Kill the engines. wait for instructions. *whining and stamping his foot* cuz i’m in chaaaaaaaarge.

Being asked about your dating life and then immediately jumping out of an airplane is a Big Mood

I would like us all to appreciate that steve put a nice matte stealth finish on his patriotic dinner plate, special for this mission.

Also, we’re all agreed that Steve kills at pool, yeah? Give me Steve being a pool shark at the local watering hole plz n thank.

Steve: *punches a guy through the shield*

The Roommate: but why does he punch that guy through the shield?

Me, having a Terrible Thought: Maybe one time he accidentally punched through a guy’s face and ever since then he uses the shield as, like, a buffer when he wants to take people alive.

The Gal Pal: WOW. YOU WENT THERE.

parkour!

~Hey Sailor ;)~

that one guy working for Batroc really needs to lay off the steroids, or whatever is giving him this Unnecessary Rage. You know the guy I mean.

love how batroc is jchilling and then WHAM! IT IS I! AMERICA!

ON! VA! VOIR!

did he learn this from Dernier? he learned this from Dernier.

The Gal Pal: that is a ridiculously huge flash drive

Me, Just Now: overcompensate much?

Nat’s little eyeroll after Steve says “you’re damn right”

The Roommate: Nat is So Tired of Steve’s Drama™. And now she’s going to have to deal with his cold shoulder the whole flight back, and she’s going to have no one to talk to but Rumlow and uggghhhhhh

Steve comes into Fury's office and Damn. Dat Ass.

The Roommate: They know what they're doing here.

eyyyyyy tony’s in this movie (kinda)

I love that Steve just like, drives around with the shield on his back.

Enter The Smithsonian.

The Roommate: I! LOVE! THIS! SO! MUUUUUUCH!!!

Me: Gee sure would be nice to be able to go to a smithsonian right now.

*american sobbing intensifies*

The Roommate: what is the timeline here? does he come straight back from the mission into yelling at fury? and then straight here?? Is Steve just like “oop time to go look at my old stuff and Emote”? Is this his routine??

buckyyyyyyyyyyy

listen yall know the extent of my BuckRogers feels but every time they pull out that compass i develop a terrible case of The Steggies.

“It’s just not the same” ha ha kill me.

~So Dramatic ;)~

“Steve?” HA HA HA KILL ME

Fury’s Computer:

At This Juncture The Commentators Would Like It Noted That It Has Been 23 Solid Minutes of Stuff We 1000% L O V E and everyone’s favorite brainwashee has not even appeared yet.

but he’s coming

s o o n

Also, we all hate Alexander Pierce but he is a great villain and also Robert Redford might be an older fella but he can definitely still get it heyooo

Steve is so awkward here. But like, imagine him actually going to one of these VA things, like everyone’s all “ied this, helicopter that” and steve’s just like “so one time in ‘44 i punched my way into a panzer”

The Roommate, Who Is Sometimes More Evil Than Me: ~NOW IS AN EXCELLENT TIME TO REMEMBER THAT RILEY WASN’T IN A PLAAAAAANE~

at this moment, the DC driving types lost their goddamn minds.

“WHAT IS THIS? WHERE IS THIS SUPPOSED TO BE? WHERE, IN WASHINGTION, THE DISTRICT OF GODDAMN COLUMBIA, IS THERE THIS LITTLE TRAFFIC, HUH??”

“You wanna see my lease?” i c o n i c.

Did you know that SLJ was an actual Black Panther? I did not know this, but as soon as the Gal Pal told me, i was like “oh yeah that checks out.”

meanwhile, the couch based road rage continued all around me.

“This part of DC ~DOES NOT EXIIIIIIIIIIIIST~”

“Traffic alert? on the Roosevelt Bridge? Yeah in other news WATER IS WET.”

“wait is he getting on 66? ARE YOU GETTING ON 66?? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU???”

“Have you ever even been on 495?????”

HE’S HERE!!!

just like, damn gurl, u make that highway ur catwalk.

Me: What the hell kind of laser pointer do you have there, Nick?

The Gal Pal & The Roommate: It’s A Lightsaber.

The Roommate: So is this just like? An Average Day In The Life Of Captain Rogers? Get up, go for a run, annoy a veteran, fly to the other side of the world, kick ass, fly home, talk back to a superior officer, drop my priceless shield off at home, go emote at a smithsonian exhibit, have my heart ripped out by my nonagenarian ex, go flirt with annoy a veteran (part two, now with added Feelings™) go home, get rejected by my neighbor, CHASE A FUGITIVE.

JUST ANOTHER DAY! IN THE LIFE OF STEVEN GRANT ROGERS!!

honestly his neighbors must hate him

that’s why Sharon’s his neighbor, everyone else LEFT.

The Biggest Flash Drive

Let’s Not Forget, that because she is undercover as a nurse, Sharon probably just kicked that door down with crocs.

YOU’RE WELCOME

let’s appreciate that the Soldier’s theme music is just SCREAMING and also you should know that every time it comes on, the Gal Pal and I start SCREAMING. not, like, in an “oh we’re excited” way, just, like, the way you sing along to the theme song of your favorite TV show, you know?

PARKOUR!

The Roommate: good job with your eyeliner there, buddy. You Did Your Best.

The Gal Pal: That Is Dupont Circle and Steve is Extremely Gay.

(yes, we know he’s bi.)

Natasha really should know better than to believe that Nick is dead.

THAT IS THE WORST PLACE TO HIDE THE FLASH DRIVE

The Gal Pal: genuinely, it’s such a bad hiding place it stresses me out.

The Roommate: Yeah, what was he thinking? I mean, was his logic just that no one likes that gross bubblegum?

Me: UM WHAT?

The Gal Pal: EXCUSE YOU THAT IS BUBBLE YUM.

The Roommate: ... yeah but it’s the gross bubblegum flavor?

At this point we lost a few minutes to divide into Pro and Anti Bubblegum Camps and then had to run the movie back because we missed:

~Neighbor ;)~

i c o n i c

The Roommate: Sir. Stop Having That Face. That is Illegal.

(she is having A Difficulty. The Difficulty is cevans’ jawline)

But seriously: What actually happens in this scene? We are all Steve and we all want to punch our way out of this confusing conversation.

God that face/those tits/that ass tho

Young Man. You Stop That.

THE ELEVATOR SCENE. I mean how many movies can say that some of their best scenes happen in an elevator? That alone is a real accomplishment.

They’re all ~soooo casual~ and then there’s rollins, who isn’t even trying. “records.” These WWE wrestlers are not going to records, come on.

at this point we stopped commentating except in inarticulate whoops of delight and shrieks of glee. except for one brief aside

Me: This scene is so sexy, but like, not in a sexy way? Like, the fighting style isn’t that “oooo I’m fighting in a sexy way” it’s just, it’s so...!

The Roommate: Primal?

and I regret to inform you all that yes, she is 100% Correct, it is indeed sexy in a primal way.

“whoa big guy”

i just.

that’s all i got on that

tiny turtle of freedom

we had the subtitles on, and it just says “woman screams” Screams in what? JOY?

It’s raining men! Hallelujah!

“Stand down, Captain Rogers! Stand! Down!

Captain Rogers: *accelerates*

They’re being made to watch social media so what I want to know is which poor SHIELD guy got stuck monitoring tumblr?

“oh we’re getting all kinds of hits but uhhhhhhhhh they’re not......... pertinent..............”

why doesn’t The Biggest Flash Drive have a cap? it is now full of crumbs. it’s full of crumbs, guys. if it’s going to be that big it should at least be one of those cool slider ones.

“Are you calling for my resignation? do you know who i am? Bitch I Am Robert Redford.”

Apple Store Aaron. “hey guys why’s your flash drive so big??”

“yeeeah. we’re getting married.”

Honeymoon destinations -- where are you going?

Steve: (without thinking, reads the first thing he sees) New Jersey

Steve: *dies a little inside*

Steve: *forgive me bucky for i have sinned*

I love that they’re coming out and Steve is 100% tactical brain and then Nat’s just like “put your arm around me and laugh” and when it works Steve just looks back over his shoulder like:

oh my god it worked???

sPyING is WitCHCraFT?????

“was that your first kiss since 1945?”

“That was not my first kiss since 1945,” said Steven Grant Rogers, Who Is Definitely Lying, and Furthermore, Is Fooling Exactly No One.

Sidenote: Ship and let ship, obviously and always, but I love Steve and Nat as BROS too much to ever see them romantically, The Bromance Is Strong With Them.

it’s been said before, but it’s worth saying again

Steve: kind of hard to find someone with shared life experience.

Bucky, ten minutes later, wearing bondage gear: HELLO IT IS I

SKINNY STEVE!

of course he memorized the army regulations.

Listen. The cell phone trick Bugs Me™ and the only thing that lets me get through it is the idea that they cleverly cut around natasha standing there for 40 minutes trying out every possible permutation of those numbers, with possible duplications.

I like the idea that Computer!Zola has been building this little fanvideo since the mid-seventies and he’s just! so excited! to show it to someone!

Steve punching the screen is another Big Mood.

“even captain america and the black widow can’t survive a missile Directly To The Face” BITCH U THOUGHT

it’s nice that they give bucko a kirk light here

~u want some milk? ;)~

honestly, what the fuck even is that line.

they made Robert Redford say that line.

what does it mean

YOUNG MAN! THAT IS! ILLEGAL!

altho tbh i want a slightly grubby Steve in a tank top to give me a pep talk, like, every day. that would be fine.

The Gal Pal, A Curly Haired Individual: hhhhhhhow did Natasha straighten her hair. This makes me So Angry.

Me: I mean, I like to imagine her with Sam’s Iron and ironing board, just like *mimes frantically ironing hair with a Very Soviet Expression*

Fort Meade is the best scene that isn’t in the movie.

Aw Gary Shandling’s here. Awwwww Gary Shandling...

Sam, are you intimidating this guy or flirting with him?

To Those who remember the Potato/Gremlin Scale, I propose a third option, a kind of venn diagram situation going on, where the third option is Fey Creature. Sam is neither Potato nor gremlin, but he might be a Fey Creature.

God I love this scene.

LOOK AT SAM HERE: No armor, no flightsuit, no fucking knee pads no goddamn helmet just Casual Dad Falcon, Suns Out Guns Out.

Steve: What the fuck’s an SAT.

he’s coming.

*SCREAMING*

he’s here.

is it murder or is he modeling?? “you got this Soldier, make ‘em wait for it... Boom.”

this is the greatest fight scene of all time, honestly. This and then the fight scene in the first RDJ holmes movie are the Only fight scenes i can even remotely stand to watch. Except maybe some of the bending battles in ATLA. but this scene. this is top of the list. it’s just. *kissy chef fingers*

Soldier strolling along not firing his weapon because he has no shot and he is a Child of the Depression who don’t waste no bullets.

only loses his cool when Widow Breaks his stuff.

Sam Wilson: Brings a pocket knife to an automatic rifle fight and wins.

“go, I got this!”

aw yeah you do

THAT STRUT™

Soldier strolling along the street. so bored. could be home watching project runway.

That thing Soldier does with the arm Does Things to me for reasons that I choose not to examine too closely

ANYWAY WE DON’T HAVE TIME TO UNPACK ALL OF THAT.

“who the hell is bucky” wow there Soldier you went from Full Russian to American Accented English awfully quick I Wonder Why

Soldier’s reaction to confusion is to Immediately Shoot and honestly that’s a Big Mood.

We are all agreed that the only reason SHIELD succeeds in taking Steve in is because

look at that face

steve’s not here right now, please leave a message.

More DC Area Rage: “WHERE IS THIS DAM? WHERE??”

natasha y r u surprised that Fury is alive?

oh noooooooooooo it’s time for this scene

OHHHHH NOOOOOOOOOOO

Robert Redford to James Buchanan Barnes: You are a literal treasure.

OH NO OH NO OH NO

The Roommate: yeahhhhh this was maybe an. inappropriate scene for me to have to see in a theater. alone.

I love that while they’re making this ridiculous plan (yeah it’s ridiculous, i don’t care) Fury has to check in with Sam (WHO HE HAS LITERALLY NEVER MET BEFORE) presumably to just touch base and be like “Is this White Nonsense™?”

spoiler alert it is not White Nonsense™, but it definitely is Extra™

DAT JAWLINE THO. of course he’s giving the orders, LOOK AT THAT JAWLINE

LIL STEEB!

I’m with you to the end of the line.

what kind of marriage vow nonsense is that

jesus.

anyway, Sam comes in like: IT IS I! YOUR BEST FRIEND! YOUR BEST FRIEND IS ME NOW!

poooterrrr!!

This is the second secure government facility that they have broken into. Possibly the third, depending whether you count the bunker.

Dem Asses. Seriously. Everyone in this shot has an enviable ass. *distinguished golf clapping* bravo

“~Excuse us~” i c o n i c

God, Steve gives this speech and then we get sam’s reaction and you can physically see him having a sexual identity crisis and honestly BIG MOOD THERE, SAM

I have questions about the effect of this on the potomac river which has already had a hard enough time and does not deserve this Supervillain Nonsense.

you are ON FOOT steven. it is a FLYING AIRCRAFT CARRIER and you are ON! FOOT!

i’m so mad that it works too

mad, but like, also turned on. duh.

what’s cap’s true superpower? DRAMA

The saddest thing in this movie is that Jenny Agutter is Scarlet Johansson

don’t get me wrong, i like scarjo but this movie would’ve been even better if it wasn’t the black widow and was just a badass old british lady.

The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the sane one.

Me: He flies into combat at 100 miles per hour with a jet pack and a tee shirt he is not the sane one.

The Roommate: Sam’s superpower is that he’s the emotionally balanced one?

Me: given the aforementioned armorless airborne combat situation that is highly fucking debatable my dude.

*SCREAMING*

HE’S HERE

let’s appreciate that Bucky is definitely flying this quinjet with a dead guy that he just murdered as his copilot.

i don’t know why that is so badass to me but it is

again, we don’t have time to unpack all of that, moving on.

Nick Fury: BITCH YOU THOUGHT

sidenote: i’m gonna really enjoy coming back to this movie after Captain Marvel. I can just feel it.

Maria is so casual about this. And that is an extremely sexy thing. I’m not sorry.

“Hey Sam, I’m gonna need a ride.”

Sam is still learning Rogersese and does not know that this means “I ALREADY DID THE STUPID THING PLEASE COME GET ME.”

Bucky ripping the wings off a beautiful butterfly

because Sam IS a beautiful butterfly.

except now his knees and legs and ankles are all broken because That’s How Bones Work.

he’s here

lol of course he’s got a knife.

I just love the sounds the arm makes.

butwedon’thavetimetounpackallofthat

the slide Bucky does here, this isn’t combat this is voguing.

Steve fights like the world is his barroom, bucky fights like the world is his catwalk.

“DON’T YOU TALK TO MY DAUGHTER LIKE THAT,” Nicholas J Fury

what’s the found family version of a BroTP? I have that for Dad!Nick and Adopted!Soviet!Assassin!Daughter!Natasha.

found familotp? FFOTP? no, that sounds like some kind of tactical asset. “LAUNCH THE FFOTP”

anyway, get on this tumblr, i want at least 10 options on my desk by monday.

This Extra. He could honestly make a living playing Confederates and Klansmen, you know which extra I mean.

“wHere ahre the tahrgets?”

the targets... is we.

A DC Local Aside: Everyone on 495 is So Tired of this nonsense. I sincerely hope they all remembered to pee before they left work. I hope they have snacks and water in their cars. because they now live on 495.

this shitshow is gonna fuck up our already extremely fucked up traffic patterns for yeeeeaaaaarrrrrssssss

Sam’s a born quipper, so i really like it when he sees the helicarrier coming down and just fucking bolts. NO TIME FOR SASS WE’RE ALL GONNA DIE

“Got a location on Rogers?”

Don’t know where he is, but he’s doing something stupid, i Guarantee It.

“you know me.”

“nNOo I dOn’T!”

Oh Steve. You put that shield down So Often. And you keep having to fucking pick it up a-fucking-gain.

And This Was The Moment When We All Realized That We Were In Trouble.

Big Mood, Bucky. Big Mood.

Sam wasn’t on the approved visitor’s list or anything, he just winked at one (1) nurse and they let him in.

i know just what to say it’ll annoy him so fucking much. “on your left.”

“Why haven’t we heard from Captain Rogers?”

Because he is taking a damn nap.

no but seriously, because if we put him in front of a camera right now, you will get the Talking To of the Century.

*eight hours later, congress is crying, hydra has surrendered, fox news is shutting down, steve rogers is still going strong* “AND DON’T EVEN GET ME STARTED ON STUDENT DEBT!”

~cool guys don’t look at congressional meltdowns. They drop the mic and they walk away~

IT WAS CLEVELAND, IN CASE YOU WERE WONDERING.

THEY FILMED IN CLEVELAND.

(they did film some in DC, obviously, but also cleveland.

*emoting at exhibits intensifies*

*SCREAMING INTENSIFIES*

in sum i have been typing for Too Long and I’m going to hit post so i can Go To Bed but there may need to be Corrections in the morning who tf knows

#the mighty pre endgame rewatch #mcu #Captain America: The Winter Soldier

113 notes · View notes

bards-witcher · 5 years

Note

Okay so are you okay with writing the boys as female? Cuz a female Ohm is... Extremely hot 😉 If that's not your thing, that's fine! If it isn't, then maybe some bunny hybrid Ohm? And whatever ship you want?? Maybe some hybrid adoption center thing??(as fucked up as that is-(boy if you aren't accepting requests Imma feel REAL dumb.))

So I kinda mixed the 2 ideas together, not gonna lie I’m kinda iffy about it but I hope you enjoy it anyway. I’d be happy to do more fem!Ohm in the future because I’m currently living for @jhanyaiartist flip au and @jessantom663 drawings.

Plus I’m like always taking requests so just shoot me an ask any time :D

Also, I made it Ohmtoonz because I’m a basic bitch, hope you don’t mind :) but I’m happy to do other pairings as well :D

[Ohm POV]

It had been almost two years since she’d first joined a hybrid adoption agency and ten months since she’d last been taken home by someone. When she’d first joined she’d had hope that she may finally find a home and someone who cared for her, but that was far from the case.

The first person who had adopted her was kind at first, it didn’t take long for her to warm up to him and he seemed almost smitten with her, eager to take her out and show her off to his friends and surprising her with gifts when he returned from work. It wasn’t long, however, before he turned sour, although hybrids weren’t common they could live life like any other person, and when she’d asked to find a job he’d quickly shut her down.

It wasn’t long before he got bored of her, tired of her desire for a normal life when all he wanted was someone who cooked for him and who would look pretty on his arm. He’d claimed that they were going out to the beach that day, that he was going to treat her as it was somewhere that she’d never been before. However, whatever hope she’d had was quashed when instead she was taken back to the adoption agency, the guy claiming she was faulty before leaving without a backward glance.

Despite this she still had hope, hope that there was someone out there for her. For the next few months, the process was much the same as the first. Someone would come and charm her, sweep her off her feet, however, they all had the same ideals, that she was good for little else but cleaning and fucking.

The last person to adopt her had tried to sell her into a hybrid sex ring, she’d kicked and cried and pleaded but it didn’t deter them. Her saving grace had been the cops breaking down the door to the auction room and during the panic, she was able to slip away from her captors and were met with more cops and other hybrids who were to be sold.

From that day on she swore that she could trust no one but herself, that she’d swear off of finding anyone, that she was damaged goods, and would try to convince the agency to help her find a job.

Originally they didn’t take too well to her choice, but after 2 months of completely rejecting the people who wanted to adopt her, they reluctantly helped her to find her first job. It wasn’t much, a part-time barista job just down the street, but it was something, and it’s all she needed.

However, she was quick to realize that the people at her job were little different than those who had tried to adopt her. She’d finish most shifts with a new number from those who were determined enough to try their luck, despite her refusal they’d show up at a couple of her shifts to try and convince her, however, they all gave pretty soon when they finally understood that she wasn’t interested.

It was a Thursday morning and it was her turn to open up the small coffee shop, she didn’t mind the early hours too much, it was easy work and she enjoyed watching the small city come to life. It was with a surprise then that someone entered the shop, he was tall and from the brief glance, she got she could tell he worked out. She put on her best smile as he slowly approached the counter, looking at the large blackboard above them.

“Anything I can help you with sir?”

The man looked stunned for a moment before smiling back at her “um, yeah. How much you charge for a large coffee?” It was easy to pick up the southern twang in his voice which almost sounded like thick molasses, her smile turned more genuine as she answered.

“Black?” The man nodded, allowing her to continue “$2.50, but for you, I’ll make it $2” The taller man smiled down at her, as if studying her for a moment, his appreciative gaze that swept over her body didn’t go unnoticed.

“$2.50’ll be fine, thanks. My old coffee place tryna charge me $4 for a damn coffee, sure as hell wasn’t staying there”

Without another word she got to work, it was an easy enough order and it wasn’t long before she handed him his drink “$2 please” she smiled up at him, noticing him quickly avert his gaze when she’d caught him staring.

“Here, I’ll feel guilty if I don’t pay the full price” With that he handed her over the money at full price, but she was quick to slide the 50-cent coin back to him.

“Call it an incentive for you to come back again” The man took the coin and dropped it into the tip jar before taking a sip of his drink, in the quiet of the shop she could make out the small moan he made.

“Fuck this is a nice ass cup of coffee” She couldn’t help but giggle at the man’s outburst, noticing the small smile he shot her way as if pleased by her response.

“Only the best for our customer’s sir”

“Call me Luke”

“So, can we expect to see you again soon Luke?” She looked up at him through her lashes, she wasn’t above the occasional flirting in order to get tips and to get people to come back.

“You can be damned sure, and not just for the coffee” With that he threw a wink before putting a few more coins into the jar and leaving the shop.

It wasn’t the first time that she’d flirted towards customers, and it wouldn’t be the last, however, something about him stuck with her and in the quiet hours during her shift that day she couldn’t stop her mind wandering to him.

For the next few weeks Luke had been coming into the coffee shop more and more often, he never gave a reason except that the coffee was too damn good, but her co-workers had told her that he’d ask for her whenever he came in.

Most of the time they’d have a short conversation as his drink was made, often just about what they were doing that day and other mundane stuff like the weather. He’d then leave a generous tip in the jar and throw her a wink before leaving.

It was another early morning shift, and she couldn’t hide her excitement at the chance of seeing Luke, her talks with the southerner were often the highlight of her day before she had to return to her room at the agency, not that Luke knew that of course.

However, today he hadn’t shown up, she tried to hide her disappointment as she waited the last ten minutes of her shift, her co-worker tried his best to get a smile out of her, but nothing had worked.

When her shift was finished she returned her apron to the back room, said her goodbyes and headed out of the shop, only to have a tall figure run straight into her. Before she could tell him to watch it she looked up to see Luke staring down at her, face red and sweat on his brow, taking heaving breaths as he moved back to give her room.

“Good, I still caught you.”

“My shifts over Luke”

“Have a drink with me? Please?” She wanted to say no, to follow the rules she’d set herself all those months ago, but with Luke looking down at her, soft eyes pleading at her she couldn’t refuse, especially when it was evident that he’d run here.

She nodded, Luke, smiling in response before he lay a gentle hand on her waist and led her back into the coffee shop. Before they could even think of ordering coffee her co-worker pushed a tray towards them with two coffees and a slice of cake. They thanked him as Luke grabbed the tray and led them to a table in a corner out of the way of prying eyes.

“Thank you… For having a drink with me” Luke smiled at her and she smiled back at him, both staring at each other as they tried to ignore the underlying feeling of something between them, before both taking a sip of their drinks.

It was then that Luke picked up the fork that was alongside their cake, taking a large chunk of it before shoveling it into his mouth, she had to hide her laugh when his face started to turn even redder when he noticed her disapproving look.

“Don’t go eating all of that I want some too” Luke handed her the fork and she took a bite of the cake, dragging the fork out of her mouth as she looked up at Luke, noticing the way that he was staring at her lips.

They then started talking about their days, how Luke had been delayed at the bank and then the market, how he was going out to a party tonight to celebrate his friends’ new club opening.

“Do you wanna to come with?” She was shocked for a moment, surprised that he’d even offer and as much as she wanted to go the agency’s strict 11pm curfew meant that she couldn’t.

“I have plans tonight, sorry” She offered him a curt smile, feeling instantly guilty when he saw the brief flash of hurt cross Lukes’ face.

“Nah it’s cool, just an idea” She could tell he was upset, so in an attempt cheer him up she started to flick her ears around to a rhythm that didn’t exist, happy when she saw Luke laugh a little at her antics. “One thing I’ve always wanted to know is, do you have a tail?”

She blushed as she looked away from his piercing gaze “I might do”

“Can I see it?” She hesitated at his request, in the past, her owners had tried to cover up her hybrid features as much as possible, her tail she could somewhat get away with, but it was near impossible to try and hide her ears. The fact that Luke wanted to see it made her blush even more.

Without a word she stood from her seat and turned around, lowering her jeans slightly until her white fluffy tail was sticking out. She waited to hear what Luke was going to say, half expecting to hear laughter or taunts, what she didn’t expect was to feel a gentle hand touch the ends of the fur covering it.

She shook her tail a little, laughing when she felt Lukes’ hand draw away but when he got the courage to touch it again she moved her tail into his hold, letting him have free reign over one of her most sensitive parts. Eventually, she moved away and sat back down, using her ears to cover her face somewhat from Lukes intense stare.

“I have something for you” She watched as Luke reached into his pocket and pulled out a small box, laying it down on the table between them for her to open. “I saw it when I was out today and thought of you, so…yeah”

She gingerly leaned forward and opened the box, it was a small silver outline of a rabbit on a simple necklace chain. She took it out of the box to have a closer look, it was beautiful in its simplicity and she had no words to offer Luke but ‘Thank you’.

“I know it’s not much but I –“

“It’s beautiful Luke, I honestly don’t know what to say” She unfastened the clasp and went to try and put it around her neck before Luke interjected.

“Let me” She brought her hands back in front of her, waiting for Luke to move around the table behind her before passing the necklace to him. He gently pushed her hair to one side as he reached around her neck, fingers gently tracing around her neck before clasping the two sides together, causing a shiver to travel up her spine.

She looked down at the small rabbit now around her neck, shivering again when Luke moved her hair back in place before she turned to face him, placing a gentle kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you, Luke” They smiled at each other, getting lost in each other’s eyes, she was so lost in them that she barely registered him lightly grazing his fingers up and down her arm.

They stayed like that, too distracted in one another that her co-worker coming round the corner caused them to break apart, a smug smile on his face as he took the now empty cups.

“I-I should go. It’s getting late. Thank you again.. for the necklace. It really is beautiful. Have fun tonight” With a final smile and wave she got up and headed for the door, however she was stopped by Luke grabbing her elbow.

“Let me walk you home”

“No, you don’t have to do that” As much as she liked Luke there was no way she was going to let him find out where she lived, how she lived.

“I’d feel a lot better knowing you got home safe and sound”

“No, it’s fine really, besides you need to get ready for tonight. I’ll see you tomorrow yeah?” When Luke nodded she gave one last smile before leaving the coffee shop, quickly walking the short distance back home and making her way straight to her room.

She was quick to strip herself of her clothes, eager to get into the shower to clear her thoughts when a knock was heard on her door.

“Ryan? You in there?” rolling her eyes she put on her dressing gown and opened her door to see the matron of the house looking down at her. “You’re late back from work”

“It got busy” The glance the older women shot at her necklace as well as her pursed lips showed that she knew it was a lie, but as no rules were broken she couldn’t chastise her.

“As per usual, your offers” she rolled her eyes again as she accepted several folders from the women.

“I don’t know why you bother, you know my answer already” she didn’t spare any of them a glance before tossing them into the growing pile in her bin she kept beside her door for this purpose.

“You know you’re going to have to leave eventually. Either pick someone soon, or I will.” She stood there dumbfounded as the matron turned to walk away, there was no way that this should be allowed and the thought of what could happen to hear made a pit settle in her stomach. “By the way we have a viewer coming in tonight and he wants to see everybody. That includes you, so make sure you look nice”

She slammed the door to her room closed, fighting back tears as she entered the shower, letting out gentle sobs as she slowly started to wash herself. It was only when she felt the chain under her fingers that she managed to gain some semblance of control.

Luke. Luke who had come to the coffee shop any and every day to find out her shifts, who was more than happy to keep her company in the early hours, who had run to the shop in the hopes that he’d catch her. The man who despite having only known her a few weeks, was the one person who actually knew her.

Maybe if she told him, let him know where she lived, that he’d take her in, look after her in the way nobody here did. She turned the water off as she weighed the pros and cons in her mind, unconsciously going through the motions of getting ready as her thoughts weighed heavier on her mind.

Before she knew it there was a knock on her door with the command to get downstairs, with a final look in the mirror, touching the chain that already meant so much to her, she started to make the slow preamble downstairs.

Everybody was already there waiting when she finally got there, the matron tapping her foot impatiently before dragging her to her spot in line. She gave the usual talk, be good, don’t speak until spoken to and all that other bullshit.

She played with her fingernails as the doorbell rang, the matron quickly rushing to the door and offering all the kindness and warmth a mother should show as she guided the viewer in. She didn’t look up as the matron started to introduce him to the first hybrids, only when she heard the older woman start to sputter and shout did she look, only to met with the scene of Luke striding towards her.

She could only stare as Luke stopped in front of her, offering her a small smile as his hands came up to rub at her shoulders before moving up her neck and then finally to cup her face, holding her in his gaze, not that she could look away anyway.

“C’mon, I’m getting you outta here” She raised her left hand to grab his wrist, rubbing her thumb against it and she could feel his pulse racing, or maybe it was hers.

“Luke, are you-“

“Yes. Yes, I’m sure. I want nothin’ more than for you to come home with me” she gave a small nod, trying to blink away the tears in her eyes as Luke smiled back down at her. “C’mon then”

He pulled away from her, grabbing the hand that was holding his wrist as he walked them out, ignoring the calls and threats from the matron and the cheers from the other hybrids.

As soon as she got into the car Luke was quick to get them out of there, loosely holding her hand as he navigated his way through the streets to his house.

It wasn’t long before he parked on the side of the road, with the engine shut off there was nothing but deafening quiet between them.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” She could tell Luke was hurt, but despite this, she stood by her choice

“You didn’t need to know”

“Bullshit Ryan, everyone knows that place is a shithole, you could’ve told me, I could’ve-“

“You don’t understand. My kind are… rare, being there, despite everything is better than being stolen and sold to the highest bidder. So yeah it’s a shithole but it’s the best I got”

“I’m sorry, I-“

“Don’t worry about it”

“Why not get adopted then?” She scoffed at Lukes’ words, he’d said it himself, the place was a shithole, it was only fitting that the people who went there were shitholes too.

“My track record of owners isn’t the best to say the least”

“Then why’d you come with me?”

She turned so that she was facing Luke, seeing nothing but kindness and hope shone back at her “You’re different. You’ve cared more for me than anyone else ever has” She let out a small chuckle, looking down at the space between them “I know it’s cliché bu-“

Before she could finish her sentence Luke grabbed her chin, lifting her face up so that she was facing him again. He paused for a moment, looking down at her lips before slowly moving closer forwards. He gave her ample time to pull away from the kiss he was offering, but instead, she closed the difference between them and connected their lips. It was short and sweet, nothing more than a peck on the lips but nevertheless, they were both breathless when they pulled apart.

“C’mon lets get inside” They were quick to get out of the car, she followed him up the pathway to his house, stepping through the doorway when he held it open for her. She followed him to the kitchen where he pulled out a couple of beers, opening them both before offering one to her.

She took it gratefully, drinking down half the bottle before putting it on the countertop, noticing Luke looking at her with an amused glint in his eye. “I’ve got a spare room made up for you if you want” She could tell that Luke was nervous, if not for the hand he rubbed at the back of his neck it was the way he refused to look at her.

“Oh, I just thought that-“

“Look, whatever we are, I’m happy, but we won’t do anything until we’re both ready” He’d taken both of her hands in his and was rubbing small circles into them with this thumbs as he spoke

She looked up at Luke, using his hands for balance as she stood up on her tiptoes to kiss him again. This one was different than the first, she tried to convey all her appreciation, love and hope she had for the man in front of her when they pulled apart it was only for them to catch another breath before they kissed again.

Eventually, Lukes’ arms wrapped around her waist and she felt herself get lifted up and onto the counter, his hands wandering up and down her back until one hand settled onto her tail and she had to stifle her moan at his touch.

“Luke” She held herself close to him, unwilling to let go in case it all disappeared in front of him, and by the way, Luke held her he felt the same.

“Shhh, I’ll look after you. I’ll always look after you”

#ohmtoonz #ohmwrecker #cartoonz #yeah not gonna lie this took me a while :')#but im pretty alright with the end result

59 notes · View notes

unproduciblesmackdown · 5 years

Text

so being abused the entire first 2 decades of your life: what’s up with that? Night Posts Edition

- classic when finding some “uh oh relatable!” content abt various Disorderres and there’s some thing like “many symptoms overlap with ptsd” and it’s like ooh which one is applying to me?? i mean spoilers the idea that The Grouping Of Non Nt Traits And Experiences Into Distinct Classifications is not actually...an exact science and for all intents and purposes it makes no difference if i am going “oh god #me” at an informative post about adhd if actually its ptsd acting exactly the same anyways so. but yknow it’s wild n zany being like “am i overstepping my bounds b/c this was caused by coping with trauma possibly? what audacity” and etc when it really....that doesnt matter....

- also ugh @ retaining things that downplay abusers’ responsibility for their actions (in specific things you’re personally dealing with, not like, as a general stance) and shift blame onto yourself like........you have to get so used to treating someone’s Abusive Behavior as something inevitable that you can’t ever expect them to stop doing, and thus pretty much considering someone abusive like a force of nature because they’re just gonna do what they’re gonna do whenever they next get Set Off rather than like.......a person who is responsible for their own behavior and in control of their own choices and like. especially zany when you’re a kid and they’re your parent so there’s the Power Imbalance of them being an adult and the other power imbalance of them being in control of your whole existence. but so like even just the other year i was taking the blame for calmly speaking back to a grownass man close to thrice my age raging at me and saying like, not verbatim but the idea of like “ugh i know it was partly my fault for even saying anything back to him because i knew he’d just continue to yell but unfortunately i just refuse to weather that kind of behavior without standing up for myself at all anymore” but like no!!!! that’s shifting all the responsibility for this other person’s behavior onto myself, like i Made him choose to shout at me at like 4am because he sucks and has some kind of superiority power trip issues. cuz i am well within rights to respond to anyone addressing me and it’s Not my fault at all that he chooses to react the way he reacts.

- also that i was ready to excuse my being blamed for this by others because they were closer to that person than they were to me and i was gonna be like “okay i Get wanting to defend someone who’s closer to you” but no!!!! actually!!!! i may get it but i don’t condone excusing anyone’s horrible behavior in the least just cuz you know them or they’re friends or family or something. in fact that’s terrible. i’m just primed to be Used To It because of the weird situation of parental abuse where there’s other people also trapped in this location and daily life with an abuser and if someone “causes” the abuser to start being shitty then they’ll get blamed / resented for that. me and my siblings seem more like friendly acquaintances b/c we had to be pitted against each other in these kinds of ways for eons until we were all in our teens and got some more Space and kind of realized that we weren’t each others enemies and got closer and my dumb little brother was old enough to stop being a whiny binch and Owed me for helping him with math hw over the phone from 2 hrs drive away lol.....jk, sort of.....we did get along great eventually but then i left thanks to said abuse and us talking via twitter isn’t at all the same as us being able to talk in person :/

- also one thing that sometimes Strikes me is that when i’m like blandly recalling incidents of abuse like “oh yeah, that time” it bothers me less to think about stuff that happened to me specifically than to think about times it was Other people who were being treated that way. the latter was always equally or probably more upsetting and it always felt just as bad in the moment anyways, there was no major distinction in the Abuse In Progress experience if it was directed mostly on you than on other people

- all my life i’ve also been super stubborn which never helped and even Abuse MaGee would have to try to get creative with Disciplinary Systems and there was this golden “punishment” which was eat dinner in your room by yourself and i was like oh my god can i really. the horror of Family Dinner was like, this dark comedic farce playing out in that house for all our lives. christ. speaking of being stubborn this one time my sister cut my toe with a knife (half accidentally) because i refused to stop swinging my legs despite her holding the knife under the table lol and i also refused to tell on her b/c we were All In This Together (that is, Us vs The Abuser, which always took precedence over any internal conflict in our faction lol)

- always remembering how my “’”””””””defining”””””””””” trait was always getting good grades except the only reason i ever felt this pressure was the time my sister caught shit for getting a C, and i wasn’t even getting A - F letter grades yet and was already like jfc guess i can’t like....get a single C ever.....the joke is i’ve always been a godawful student who hates school, i just also managed to get great grades fairly easily, b/c of the devil probably. i’m sorry

- love to wonder what interests i might have been able to explore if i didn’t want to hide anything i was genuinely interested in and other True Thoughts And Feelings from my ‘rents. who knows!!! even now i’m not sure what i like and my vague ideas about it are all mostly In Theory and i don’t have any hopes and dreams b/c of never being able to really consider my own interests and desires and also because when every day of your life is basically spent in survival mode about everything else, that’s not really conducive to having dreams and ambitions. see also: like, being really poor

- The Weird Experience when only one of your parents is abusive and the other parent is also experiencing spousal abuse and so like, even though they’re your parent, you know that they don’t really have equal power as the abusive one because they too are being abused? it’s a complicated thing b/c that’s how every individual experience with abuse is (complicated). and so you’ve got this bizarre situation where maybe someone cares about you but they can’t really protect you from this other person. and like, my dad is crap and in some areas even a crappier person than my abusive mom and also i hate him, but i only hate him for certain things lmao not for being abused or some ways he tried to deal with it. i know what’s trash and what’s not

- the zany experience of No One Will Help You Ever.....lucky for me i eventually figured out on my own that what i’d been living with all the time had actually been abuse for real all along! and yet still i knew that like, there wasn’t much i could immediately do with that information because..........yknow, what do you actually do. i was basically already 18, so. and even if i hadnt been. there’s nothing to do for it!! just sucks to be you, basically. but an exception is that when one day i texted my friend to ask if i might be able to leave my house overnight and crash at their family’s place for a little bit, their parents immediately were like Yes Of Course and they let me stay there for a week and were very nice about all of it. between them and the nice trans lady who gave me some more Housing Assistance by letting me stay in her spare room for like, most of december.....my Allies. plus someone who talked to me via online once i bailed on my ‘rents! if they read this they know who they are and they have continued to be so kind and generous ugh love and appreciate you

- god just individual occasions of “THIS bullshit that i went through this one time” of especially ridiculous incidents.....i could go on for eons

- sort of tangentially related and related to the first point but ugh specific memories of Moments In Which It Continued To Be Revealed To Me That I, Individually, Was Prone To Being Kind Of Socially Ostracized.....like my ass started noticing that shit as soon as i was around other kids aka preschool aka 4 yrs old.......like i’m usually somewhat withdrawn and cautious and quiet in social situations especially what with the association that “misbehaving” = trauma exposure so, yknow, that might be a way that you’re pressured into just keeping to yourself and keeping your head down. but talk about “i don’t really relate to other people my age” lmao like i always preferred interacting with adults really while by and large dealing with the other kids felt like a challenge that i was never gonna actually come out on top of and i still remember individual Efforts i’d make to ~fit in~ and Participate that just fell flat or got me actively excluded....Ugh City........and it’s like, i could make a list of Social Traits i think i have that help make it difficult for people to be interested in interacting with me, or “contribute” to those joyous occasions when you get to sit back and take in the thinly veiled contempt directed at you by various shitheads, but like, even that’s not really the right way to explain it. its kind of more a Greater Than The Sum Of Its Weird Parts sorta combined experience where i guess i just have this kind of Negative Je Ne Sais Quoi that gets ya the social brushoff / rejection. c’est ce que c’est. the joke is i actually like people and socializing In Theory, i just usually don’t get to do it. shoutout to the advanced relatability of alana calling everyone Acquaintances b/c i literally did/do that lmao......like are we friends if we don’t talk all that often? it’s part on me cuz i’m crap at being the person to initiate conversation cuz too often i assume i’d be an annoyance and also b/c conversation with me is like, not great lmao but still......ce’st l’a v’ie

anyways (clip from that fuckin song where it’s like WHO CAN RELATE lmao.mp3)

#long post //////#the entire first quarter (at least lol) of my life being Devastated By Abuse means i get to complain about it whenever i feel like it

13 notes · View notes

jasntodds · 6 years

Note

um hi I'm really sorry but I love your blog and I'm just feeling lonely rn and needed someone to rant to? If u don't wanna deal with this just say so or ignore it, i 100% understand! So I'm going off to uni next month and I'm so nervous about it bc of my social anxiety and how I'm gonna make friends and stuff. and I'm 18 and never had a boyfriend or anything and I'm super insecure and just found out the only guy I sorta had a thing with for a while moved away and he's with someone now. (Part 1)

and I'm over him for the most part but it just got me thinking cuz all this while I was okay not having a boyfriend in high school cuz I thought it'd happen in uni which now I don't think it ever will. And I've just been obsessively scrolling through my instagram for the last hour looking at all my pretty and gorgeous friends and how the guys I'm even slightly interested in don't even give me a second glance or always ignore me when I attempt to talk to them (part 2) (Part 3) and I wanted to work on myself for the 4 months I had off but clearly that didn't work bc I'm still insecure as hell and super anxious and idk what to do. I'm really sorry this was a 3 part rant and idk if u do this sorta stuff on your blog. Thanks for listening anyway and hope you have a wonderful day xx

My dude, I promise, there’s nothing wrong with not having a boyfriend in high school. I know a LOT of people who didn’t get their first boyfriend until after high school. It seems like this huge deal now but I promise, it’s not. I WISH I wouldn’t have dated in high school, dead serious.But I do understand that like something like that guy moving and dating someone can get to you. I’ve been there and it does suck. And despite popular opinion, you can be upset. You’re allowed to feel that way for a little while. But, my dude, listen, scrolling through IG and looking at women who photoshop themselves or facetune themselves/have other people do it, have DAMN good lighting, literally just know how to take a good selfie or have someone take a good picture for them, etc. It’s not good. Like, people who are drop-dead gorgeous get self-conscious from looking on IG people.And here’s a spoiler: most boys are just UGH and they stay that way into their twenties, I can confirm. So honestly, don’t take boys not being interested to the heart. It’s their loss which I know is WAY easier said than done but really, if you can get that mindset, you’ll be alright. It’s the truth.You can still work on yourself. Sometimes it takes a long time to do that. It took me YEARS of trying. Literal years to like go “yeah I like me this is cool” and that’s after being made of for how I look, being rejected a lot, being ghosted a lot, being broken up with a lot, and someone pretending to like me as a joke. Working on insecurities and self-esteem and self-confidence, that stuff doesn’t usually come in just a few months. It comes with a lot of time and effort but even then, it’s okay to have those days where you just don’t feel GREAT or even good. And those are perfectly allowed. You can work on yourself through school and starting over at Uni might even make that easier and better for you.I’ve got social anxiety so I get the whole “AAAAAAHHHHH NEW PEOPLE” thing so I’m not gonna tell you to like...........go out of your way and talk to people (I mean hey, if you’re feeling it, DO IT but if now) make sure you try and look genuinely happy, approachable, and just open and people WILL talk to you. And I PROMISE, you’ll be okay. If you think you’re awkward because of it, you’re not nearly as awkward as you think you are and most people don’t even really notice. It’s kind of a normal thing now.I legit promise you, you’re gonna be okay. You’re gonna do amazing at uni and make some friends, even just one or two. And yeah, maybe a guy will come but if not, that’s okay. Focus on YOU. I can promise it’ll be a damn good decision.

#Anonymous #kaylee answers

10 notes · View notes

terryblycute · 3 years

Text

2020

overall this year was bad. bad, just like any other, how its always been, so nothing special. im writing this because my memory is getting worse and worse, and im sick of not remembering

corona lowkey annoying cuz i couldnt visit my friends on new years eve, but other than that everythings the same. on a positive note i didnt have to work as much either, and on a negative note i didnt get as much money. but thats alright.

((rude, unempathetic rant incoming. i know what im about to say is stupid but its my feelings and i want to talk about it regardless. if anyones reading, skip this)) what HAS been bothering me the most about corona is all the „2020 bad“ memes and people legitimately complaining about it. cuz like... nothing has changed. every year is horrible. it always has been. every year innocent people die, and nobody can do anything about it. of course i feel horrible for the people who lost their income/housing or family members because of it, and they have all the rights to complain... but lets be honest. none of the people i talk to were affected in any way by it. and the majority of people i hear talking about it havent lost their family/friends or homes to it either. its just a mild inconvenience to them, not being able to party without being arrested or seeing their friends or some shit. boo hoo, im alone all the time and never see any of my friends either and at this point im completely love & touch starvated regardless of corona. get over it

so... corona things out of the way, ive started thinking about my mental illnesses & trauma... A LOT. ive never thought about it all that much, because critical thinking is not something im able to do, usually. ive been reading lots of comix of people talking about/depicting mental illness, so i guess that kind of inspired and changed something in me, if i like it or not.

well, it turns out there is a shitton to unpack. i mean, ive always known there is so much wrong with me... but i was never really aware, if that makes sense. im still in the dark about most things, but its all coming together, little by little. i dont want to put my finger on anything, because im dumb, but at this point im 100% sure autism/aspergers isnt the only thing i got. far from it, in fact.

ive also learned that a lot of things in my life have left me with genuine, significant trauma, which ive never really realized before. i just thought the way i react to some things is cuz im, yknow... a whiny bitch. to name a few things:

me getting defensive/snappy when people of „authority“ (family, caretakers, doctors) ask me if im tired, how late i went to bed etc bc it is indirectly tied to why i was forced into psychiatry & the abuse i had to suffer there

fight or flight response activating when people talk about being in support of outdoor cats (i dont even want to fucking elaborate. tl;dr: my cat was almost killed by outdoor cat people and would be dead now if i hadnt gotten my shit together and worked hard on getting my own apartment, where he is safe. ive recieved no support & only been demonized during this time). this is a genuine fucking trigger

my rocky relationship with my mother and my thoughts about her, who is a genuinely good person, but managed to fuck me over, rip my entire ass apart and ruin my life regardless. also her lowkey restrictive/controlling upbringing stunting me for life

my huge, life-impairing abandonment issues. i dont even know where they come from, all i ever experienced were regular breakups & rejections with no hard feelings that just hit me especially hard for no reason i guess

how i cannot bear to be alone in a discord voice channel waiting for people to join & my stunted ability to talk to people when im alone with them (i got actively excluded by my best friends for being suicidal & a downer, they created a discord voice channel i couldnt see & didnt have access to for them to be without me, all while i was waiting all day long alone in our regular channel for someone to join me, in the same server)

relatedly, my inability to talk about my problems & mental illnesses with them. is also related to the cat incident

also my inability to show affection ever since my best friend stopped telling me „i love ya“

nothing else i can think of rn

i also realized that something is fundamentally, objectively wrong with me. i cant really talk about it... but the actions of one of my friends made it clear to me. it was proof that, somehow, im imbued with the horrifying essence of some eldritch lovecraftian horror being, repulsing everyone without them even realizing, unable of being loved. and its just... this knowledge, its too heavy to bear, for a single human being. i dont know what to do. i will have to live with this for the rest of my life - and i cant do anything about it.

ive also reconnected with an old friend over animal crossing, who introduced me to some other old friends (they were more like aquaintances back then, really), and in one of them ive found a friend for life, pretty much. but theyre all great, really.... i seriously appreciate that. they took my mind off my other best friend, whos been kind of ignoring my needs, resulting in me having panic attacks every day.

also, im making more of an effort to talk to & reply to the people i care about, cuz i have this friend who would chat me up every now and then, without me ever messaging him, just for me to ignore him for a couple hours cuz im too tired/busy/whatever... so at one point i was like „wait, what am i doing? hes one of the few friends who actually makes an effort, and i really care about this bitch!!“, so i went ahead and got my shit together, as best as i can at least (depressions still a bitch but im trying)

one last thing i wanna talk about... my view on life. this is gonna be huge, i think. big trigger warning for suicide stuff & other negative shit

im suicidal. always have been. thats not a secret, everyone who knows how to read between the lines (i cant, but most people do) can see that. sometimes you dont even have to, cuz im telling you outright. i usually dont talk about this openly though, not to my friends at least, cuz people only put up with suicidals for so long, and i cant afford to lose anyone else... ahem. anyways, something changed in the way i see suicide. when i was younger, i wanted to die because the pain i had to bear was just too great. there was no hope. and its still true - the pain is unbearable. i am in pain every waking moment. i have been for almost 11 years now. there is no joy, there is no happiness, there is only distraction.

however, thats not the reason i wanna die anymore. i think think that if i put in effort, i think i could be... not in pain, all the time anymore. but, heres the thing: i dont want to. im too tired, im too broken. i dont want to change, and i dont want anyone else to change. now i just want to die, for the sake of it. because i love death, with all of my heart. i think death is the best thing that could happen, to anyone. i 100% believe death is the only thing that will save you, ever. i am not exaggerating when i say „i love death“. and to live, without having the means to safely & efficiently kill myself... its destroying me. i get panic attacks every week thinking about it. what if someone else leaves me? im not gonna take it anymore, i refuse to. i refuse to keep suffering, but to end my suffering once and for all i have to die. i really, truly hate living... it just really isnt for me. and thats okay, im fine with it, im fine with dying - its what i want, its my choice, its my destiny - and i love this destiny. i wouldnt want it any other way - to kill myself, or be killed, thats how i want to go. i just need someone to help me. idk where im going with this, so lets move onto my next point:

my worldview. so.. im not sure when this all started. was it 2020? or 2019? maybe it started to dawn on me even earlier, i dont really know, but its been really intense in 2020. the way i view the world & life has changed drastically (or rather, formed, ive never really thought about it that much before). my mom has made it clear to me that you could be a genuinely good, loving person... and still fuck up your kid for life. and this is why i came to the conclusion that good parents, who dont fuck up their children irreversibly... they dont exist. the moment youre born into this world, youre doomed. there is no one who doesnt suffer, there is no one who doesnt want to die - and if they tell you they dont, they either just dont know yet or are in denial. if there is ANY chance of someone growing up to suffer just like i do - it is not worth it. irresponsible, even - to bring a kid into this world. and, the way the world is, and continues to be, there will never be the chance for someone to never suffer like me. which is why i dont think children should be born into this world, ever. and it fucks with me - it fucks with me so bad.

...happy mew year, everynyan

#long post #suicide tw #negative #corona tw #idk what to tag #2020

0 notes

cinnaminsvga · 7 years

Text

She’s Oblivious, He’s Ridiculous | Hoseok

prompt: “I’m flirting with you.” from this drabble game [x]. Requested by anon (hi there friend!) For more, request here!

→ summary: Hoseok had a problem: there were only two days until prom, and he’s asked you nine times already but you really couldn’t take a hint. Luckily, Hoseok doesn’t know the meaning of giving up. → genre: Fluff, High School/Prom!AU → words: 4.1K (This got too long. Sorry anon lol.) → a/n: Honestly, I hate public promposals because they’re really embarrassing. But here’s Hobi doing it anyway because he looooves you. Enjoy!

In the words of the wise Min Yoongi, Hoseok could say that he was very much catastrophically fucked.

He was fucked because their prom was coming up in two days and Hoseok still did not have a date—but it wasn’t from his lack of trying.

In fact, he had promised himself that he would secure himself a date the moment prom season started in order to avoid the situation he was in from happening in the first place.

Unlike most of his awkward peers, he had been excited for prom. Rejection was a word he did not have in his dictionary; he was so sure you would say yes. He wasn’t going to fumble his words when he would utter the three most important syllables of his life (well, his life as of now. It was too early in the game to say the three other most important words to you. He had to be patient for that.) He wasn’t going to mess up because he had been planning his promposal ever since freshman year.

He had known ever since he had laid his eyes on your pretty face that you would be the one. No one else could ever begin to compare—it had to be you.

From the moment he decided this, everything easily fell into place for him. He started off by trying to be your friend; occasional greetings in the hallways slowly evolved into casual hang outs at the local burger joint. Within the span of three years, the pair of you had become almost inseparable. Everyone had expected the two of you to get together eventually, so Hoseok wasn’t worried that someone else would try and nab you first. He had almost complete control of his situation; it should have been perfect.

Many would say that his promposal was almost too perfect: he was going to invite you to a lovely dinner at your favorite restaurant, order your usuals, etc. However, when dessert time came around, he would casually order a chocolate cake that had been specially prepared beforehand. Within the cake would lay a small plastic capsule, which you would pop open to find a small paper with the words “go outside.” You would be confused at first, but after seeing the knowing look that Hoseok would send you, he was sure your heart would start palpitating from nerves. You would dash outside, your head swinging around in excitement, wondering what on earth Hoseok could have planned!

Lo and behold, four foil balloons spelling out “PROM” would stand proudly in the parking lot, with flower petals and confetti scattered across the gravel floor. You would stand there, mouth agape, as Hoseok would go on one knee and say the three fated words: “Prom with me?”

It should have gone like that. That night, everything had been set in motion so smoothly that by the time Hoseok got on his knees, he was sure that he would become the happiest teenager in Seoul.

It should have fucking gone like that. But you were a goddamn, motherfucking, oblivious, idiotic—

“Eh? Hoseok? Are you practicing your promposal or something? Is this a prank?” You looked around in confusion, trying to figure out if someone was filming you. Coincidentally, Hoseok had indeed asked someone to take a video of your reaction; Jimin was sitting behind a truck with his phone in hand, and you had automatically assumed the worst.

You slapped Hoseok across the cheek.

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” Hoseok yelled, but you merely crossed your arms in annoyance.

“I don’t know what’s up with you, but I don’t appreciate the joke!” You snapped, promptly stalking away from his bewildered figure. After that whole escapade, you had ignored him for a week until Jimin explained to you that no, he had not been pranking you. It was a genuine promposal, you idiot.

Although you still didn’t believe either of them, you eventually forgave him for his “prank.”

Hoseok realized that he had forgotten a teensy variable to his almost perfect equation: you were so fucking oblivious.

A damned boulder could fall out of the sky with the handwriting of god saying “Hoseok is in love you!” and you still wouldn’t understand. It was honestly kind of ridiculous, but Hoseok supposed he still loved you regardless.

In short, Hoseok has been trying to ask you out for prom for two months already, and he was really starting to get pissed off.

Today, however, was going to be different.

“Are you planning your tenth promposal already?”

Hoseok hears his senior class president and best friend Kim Namjoon asking him exasperatedly, while tutting his tongue in pity.

All his friends have known about Hoseok’s embarrassing crush on you for years now, and all of them are aware of his special predicament. Many of them have even tried offering their assistance in his elaborate promposals, all of which have failed miserably due to your thick-headedness. Your obliviousness has started pissing them off—most especially Min Yoongi, their older friend who had already left for college the year before. It is Yoongi who tells Hoseok to give up, but Hoseok declines for the umpteenth time.

Hoseok is going to prom with you, and that’s that.

“I gotta hand it to you, you get full points for creativity and tenacity,” Namjoon muses, opting to take the empty seat beside Hoseok. Normally, that seat is reserved for you, but for whatever reason, you are running late this afternoon.

Hoseok sighs, mussing his hair into an even more disheveled mess than it already is. “I don’t get it! I’ve done everything I can think of, but she still just doesn’t get it!” He groans, slamming his head dramatically onto his table. A few heads turn in his direction, but most of them just shrug indifferently. Almost everyone is aware of his problem, and they are excited to see what he comes up with next.

��Namjoonie, I’ve done everything! Serenades outside her house, romantic lakeside walks, beachside picnics. Hell, I even rode that roller coaster with her that one time! I think I might just die.” Hoseok continues to wail in anguish, as if he had just been castrated with Namjoon’s $70 mechanical pencil. (‘Hey! Don’t make fun of my special pencil!’ ‘What the fuck dude, this is MY internal monologue.')

“Well, it is kind of understandable.” Namjoon starts, but the tired glare from Hoseok makes him rethink his statement. “What I meant to say was that it’s understandable that she doesn’t take you seriously. You haven’t exactly shown much romantic interest in her before this whole prom thing started.”

Hoseok rolls his eyes until he can practically see the insides of his skull. “Namjoon, I am the epitome of extra. I have literally been coddling her since freshman year. How much more could I possibly have done?”

Namjoon snorts, but he supposes that Hoseok’s right. “To be honest though, you kind of act clingy with everyone, Hobi.”

Before Hoseok could retort, the bell rings and his eyes look up to see your rumpled figure making a dramatic entrance by the door, your books almost spilling onto the linoleum floor. “I made it!” You screech triumphantly, to which your teacher merely nods in mild acknowledgement.

“Go to your seat, Ms. L/N. We’re about to begin,” your teacher drawls, and Hoseok watches as your bright eyes make contact with his. Immediately, your mouth stretches into a brilliant grin and Hoseok cannot help the way his heart skips a beat for just a moment.

“In my defense, Namjoon? Everything I do for her is extra special.” Hoseok finally replies to Namjoon’s earlier statement, but the younger has already vacated the seat by then. You immediately take his place, dumping your books onto the small table exuberantly.

“Heya Hobi! Haven’t seen you today,” you greet him as you promptly take out your notebook for the class. Hoseok does the same, but the notebook he takes out is not the one for his Physics class. Instead, it is a messy leather-bound notebook, filled from start to finish with his (failed) plans to ask you out to prom. He has written another promposal, which is scheduled for this lunch break, and he intends to make use of this period to make sure nothing would go wrong this time.

“Eh, sorry. I was late this morning ‘cuz I woke up late. Did you miss me?” Hoseok flirts, but as usual, the comment passes over your head like a breeze. You snort at what you assume is a joke, and shake your head at his ridiculousness.

“Me? Miss you? Hardly. We see each other everyday, including the weekends.” You reply, already beginning to copy the work problems your teacher had begun to write on the board.

What Hoseok had said was only half true: he was late, but not because his alarm clock didn’t wake him up. He had been busy gathering the materials he needed for today’s promposal attempt. He called it “Operation Promposal: Plan J.” It was titled Plan J because this was officially his tenth attempt.

Yeah, it was that bad.

“Sooo, are you eating lunch with me and the boys today?” Hoseok asks casually, and you barely look up from your notes to answer. “Yup,” is your simple reply, and Hoseok ticks a small box on his notebook.

Ask Y/N to lunch? Check.

“Oh, but my friends from band club might pull me out midway for some rehearsals.” Your words make Hoseok pause in his writing, and you can see from the corner of your eye the way his head jerks up.

“No!” He yelps almost immediately, and you stop your note-taking long enough to send him a look of confusion. He clears his throat, stuttering a bit. “W-what I meant was that I, uh, really wanted to eat with you today. Yeah.”

You furrow your brows in bewilderment. “Uh, Hobi? We eat together almost everyday. What’s the problem? And besides,” you shrug casually, not noticing the way Hoseok’s forehead is beginning to sweat from nerves. “I’m gonna eat with you at least for half the time. So no need to worry.”

Oh shit. Now Hoseok had to deal with another variable: time. Albeit his plan for this promposal was a bit more… extravagant than his other attempts, he supposed that 30 minutes was just enough time to finish the entire spectacle. All he needed to do was warn his accomplices of the time restraint, and he was sure that he could make it work.

Hopefully.

Hoseok pulls out his phone, texting his three other friends about the change in plans:

From: hobi

To: taehyungie, jungkookie, jiminie

WILDCATS! We have a slight change in plans. Plan J starts at exactly 12:10 PM instead of 12:30PM. We only have less than 30 minutes to finish the promposal.

From: jungkookie

To: hobi, taehyungie, jiminie

Hyung, that’s really pushing the limit. Are you sure we can do this?

From: taehyungie

To: hobi, jungkookie, jiminie

YES SIR! I BELIEVE IN TEAM WILDCATS

From: jiminie

To: hobi, jungkookie, taehyungie

Tell me again why our name is Wildcats? @hobi, noted. I’ll prepare the materials once class ends.

“Mr. Jung. Is there something you’d like to share with the class?” Just as Hoseok is about to pocket his phone, he looks up to find that the eyes of his teacher and classmates are trained directly at him. He attempts to flash them the most innocuous smile he could muster, but he knows that his teacher isn’t going to buy it.

His teacher stands up, walking towards him and puts out his hand in a silent question. Hoseok sighs, placing the phone in his hands. While Hoseok expects his teacher to simply confiscate the phone, he watches in horror as his teacher unlocks it, where his previous text messages were still open.

“What’s this? Plan J? Are you planning more trouble again, Mr. Jung?” His teacher reads suspiciously, and Hoseok tries to suppress the embarrassed flush from rising in his cheeks. You stare curiously at his flustered form, confused as to what their teacher was talking about.

Unlike you, however, the remaining students have a pretty good idea as to what Plan J is, and many of them have started whispering in excitement. Namjoon spares a rueful smile at him, but Hoseok is too busy trying to keep you out of the loop (not that he needed to try in the first place because you were still very much confused.)

“N-no sir! I’m not causing trouble, I swear!” He defends himself immediately, to which his teacher just scoffs indifferently. Deciding it is probably just another one of Hoseok's weird ideas, his Physics teacher goes back to the board to continue the lesson.

On the other hand, you are still curious as to what the text messages mean. “Plan J? What’s that?” You whisper to Hoseok, who tries to casually brush it off. He could feel his Adam’s apple bobbing from the close call.

“Uh… No need to worry, Y/N. Let’s just listen to the teacher, alright?”

You give Hoseok a scowl, obviously not believing a word he says. Seeing that Hoseok is not going to budge, you eventually just roll your eyes in exasperation and the class finally moves on in peace.

…

After what feels like hours, the bell dismisses them and you yelp in surprise when Hoseok jumps out of his seat in a flash.

“Woah, woah. What’s the rush, hotshot?” You giggle, watching your usually neat friend stuff his things into his backpack like a maniac.

“Uhhh, I gotta pee real bad,” he explains offhandedly, his desk already clear of his clutter in record time. He shines you a heart-shaped grin, and you force the beating of your heart to settle.

Yeah, you liked your best friend. But it wasn’t like he was ever going to reciprocate, right? I mean, all those dates he asked you out to? Totally platonic, or so you liked to tell yourself.

Before you can ask if you can tag along, he has already made his way to the door. “Meet you at the table! Save me a seat, will ya?” He shouts at you, and you barely get an “ok” out before he rushes out the door.

“Hey, Y/N. Wanna go to the cafeteria together?” You turn to find your other friend, Namjoon, standing beside you with a dimply grin on his face.

“Yeah, sure. By the way, what’s up with Hoseok? He’s acting weirder and weirder these days,” you say conversationally, shrugging your bag on your shoulders. You both exit the classroom, and you have to struggle a bit in order to match your strides to Namjoon’s much longer ones.

He just gives you a sly grin. “Hmm. That’s a good question,” he muses, and you want to slap the smirk off his mouth.

“Hey! No riddles.” You pout, but Namjoon just chuckles at you. He pats your head almost endearingly, offering you no further comments on the subject.

It takes you only five minutes to arrive at the cafeteria, and the two of you are instantly dragged away by your dongsaeng, Jimin.

“Hey hyung! Hey noona!” Jimin greets, and although you are currently being manhandled by your underclassmen, you cannot help the friendly grin from appearing on your face.

“Hi Jiminie. Why are you dragging me? I can walk on my own, thank you very much.” You chide at him, but he only laughs at your reprimand. You are used to his antics, but you had to admit that his actions right now are more Taehyung’s style.

“I'm just excited to see my favorite noona, that’s all.” Jimin replies, and your eyes narrow suspiciously at his words. Why did it seem like everyone is set on having you eat lunch with them today?

“You’re so weird today. Speaking of weird, Hobi’s pretty weird today too.” You ponder to yourself, but the he doesn't reply because he promptly settles your small body onto your usual spot. You see that Jungkook is already seated on your other side, munching happily on a pizza.

“Hi noona. All of those hyungs are always weird, no matter what day it is.” Jungkook says in greeting. He sends you a big grin, his bunny teeth on full attention.

It doesn’t take long for all of you to sit down in comfortable conversation, talking about classes and upcoming exams that are worrying the younger ones. You are just about to offer to help tutor them during the weekends when the overhead speakers suddenly plays its famous opening tune, signaling the start of an announcement.

The din of the cafeteria settles significantly, with many of the students hoping for some good news (A suspension of classes? It was unlikely, but a student could only hope.)

“Good afternoon,” a low voice greets, and you crinkle your forehead in puzzlement. Normally, your female vice principal makes the official announcements on the campus radio, but the voice sounds awfully male.

A person quickly shushes the entire cafeteria, but hushed whispers continue to fill the room as the other students also wonder the same thing you did.

“Sorry to interrupt your lunch break, but we have a special announcement for you today. Uh, so like, can you direct your gazes to the door please?” The noticeable stammer makes alarm bells ring in your head, because you know someone who often blundered their words just like that. You do a quick headcount of your tablemates, and notice that Taehyung has yet to make an appearance. You have a bad feeling about this.

Just like the voice had said, your eyes snap to the entryway as cheesy romantic music plays on the overhead speakers. You hear many girls squeal in excitement, one of them whispering, “Oh my god, someone’s definitely promposing right now!”

Your heart deflates at that comment because to this day, you had yet to be asked out by anyone. (For some reason, Hoseok has the sudden urge to sneeze.)

A spotlight from who knows where is suddenly directed at the door, and your mouth hangs agape at the sudden influx of rose petals being blown in. People ooh-ed and ahh-ed as students who you know are from the school’s dance club enter in complete ballet costumes. Afterwards, students from the gymnastics club cartwheel into the cafeteria while wearing their leotards, and you even notice some of the glee club members singing behind the cafeteria queue.

It is all very dramatic and extravagant, and you feel a stab in your heart from jealously. Whoever this promposal is for, she must be luckiest girl in the world. This guy must really like her.

Just as you are about to take out your phone to snapchat the spectacle, you feel strong arms hoist you into the air. Your view is suddenly bombarded by the muscular back of Jeon Jungkook, almost making you drop your phone in surprise.

“Jeon Jungkook! What are you doing?!” You screech, beating his steely back with your tiny fists. It is as if your punches barely make an effect on him, as he continues to carry you to wherever it is that he is going.

From your vantage point, you cannot see anything at all. Even when he drops you unceremoniously onto the ground, you are much too disoriented to focus your eyes on your surroundings.

After gaining your senses back, you shake your head to find that the dozens of performers who had entered the cafeteria now surrounded you in a circle. You stand up wearily, trying to exit the ring of people in embarrassment when they suddenly part in scary synchronization.

You pause in your fumbling, and you can only stare in wide-eyed stupefaction at the sight that greets you.

Because in front of you stands you best friend, Jung Hoseok, wearing a complete suit and tie, with a bouquet of the most gorgeous flowers in his hands.

You did not know for how long the music from the speakers has stopped playing, but you are suddenly aware of the hundreds of eyes trained on you in the silence.

Seemingly unfazed by the spotlight, Hoseok steps forward, a small smile on his lips. Your heart pounds heavily in your chest, but you are more confused than you are nervous.

“Hobi? What’s going on?” You ask, and you gasp in surprise when he suddenly goes to grab your hand in his.

From up close, you can smell the musky cologne that he always wears, a scent that you have always associated as home. Despite the suit and tie, he is still your Hobi, just as you have always known.

“Y/N L/N. For two months, I have been trying to ask you a very important question. In those two months, you have rejected me constantly.” Hoseok pauses in his speech, a blush rising in his cheeks. His confident façade is slowly crumbling, but he feels your hand squeeze his in comfort. It gives him the strength to go on.

“Although you have rejected me nine times now, I like to believe it’s not because you don’t like me. In some ways, I guess it’s my fault for not making my intentions clear enough from the start.” With one last heavy breath, Hoseok settles on one knee, just like he had during his first attempt. You recognize the gesture, and you scarcely notice Jimin’s squeal of delight from the crowd.

“Y/N L/N. I am going to ask you plain and simple. I, Jung Hoseok, would like to take you to prom. No one else. Just you. This isn’t a prank.” He hastily adds at the end, and he waits for reaction with bated breath (along with the rest of the cafeteria, all of who are holding their phones to capture the special moment.)

“So, what do you say?” Hoseok asks quietly, hope sparkling in his deep brown eyes.

Meanwhile, you are still trying to wrap your head around his sudden declaration. This is all too sudden—how could this be happening? Where were the signs? Why was this happening? Could Hoseok actually be serious?

“Wait, you’re serious? I don’t understand…” You mutter confusedly. Cue the groans from the crowd.

It is at that moment in history when the normally calm and dignified senior class president Kim Namjoon finally snaps.

“OH MY FUCKING GOD, Y/N! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? HOSEOK IS ASKING YOU TO PROM! HE’S BEEN FLIRTING WITH YOU SINCE FRESHMAN YEAR! JUST SAY YES YOU IDIOT!” He bellows, and the both of you are stunned by his sudden exclamation. Hundreds of eyes turn to face the red-faced senior, who swiftly sits down once he notices the effect of his little episode.

You turn back to Hoseok. “Wait, you were flirting with me?”

Hoseok almost sobs. Why are you like this? “YES! I HAVE! FOR THREE YEARS NOW!”

You pause. “Wait, so… Does that mean… Are you flirting with me… now?”

The entire cafeteria groans again. Multiple voices express their complaints: “Are you kidding me? Y/N!” “God, when is this gonna end?” “Just say yes, you hoe!”

“Yes, Y/N. I am flirting with you. Always have, always will.”

Unbeknownst to you, tears start to prickle in the corners of your eyes. Hoseok panics, thinking that he must have gotten the signs wrong. Oh my god, what if you actually reject him for good?

“Hoseok, I…” You sniffle, squatting down to Hoseok’s level. You wrap your arms around his frozen torso, and just as he’s about to offer you his sleeve to wipe your eyes, he hears you speak.

“Of course you big idiot. Of course I’ll go to prom with you!” You say through your tears, and the cafeteria erupts into cheers.

You are torn away from Hoseok’s embrace by Jungkook, Jimin, and Taehyung, who had appeared sometime in the middle of the promposal. They throw you up into the air, cheering a hearty “YAS!” in celebration. You also see that Namjoon approaches Hoseok, who shake hands in congratulations.

After a while, you hear Hoseok telling the three idiots to put you down. “Hey, put down my girlfriend!” He jokes, but he freezes when he realizes the implications of his words.

You both stare at each other in stunned silence, but you awkwardly offer him a shy smile to ease the tension.

“Well, I guess we’re official now. Sorry for being so dumb.” You say shyly, making Hoseok relax. You reach out to him for a hug, to which he gladly gives you.

In the midst of celebration, Hoseok sighs. “Fucking finally.”

Suck it, Min Yoongi. He told you he could do it.

…

“Wait, so you had a crush on me since freshman year? Why didn’t you say anything?”

“Y/N. Are you serious.”

“So, you really flirted with me since then? How did I not notice? I thought I was smart.”

“It’s ok, babe. I can be smart for the both of us.”

“Meanie! I hate you. Or, are you flirting with me again?”

“I’m always flirting with you. Get used to it.”

“Already am."

645 notes · View notes