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#tbh i think this is also like. a struggle with not considering how much of a thing other people see
fairuzfan · 23 hours
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would you classify “jihadist” as a slur? personally i feel like it’s mainly used by islamophobic white people who want to demonise and antagonise muslim people.
tbh even “islamists” feels like a slur. like no muslim calls themselves these terms. and i’ve only ever heard these be used when white people are trying to spread hate.
i think there needs to be more discussion within western communities on the language surrounding muslims and arabs (because they love conflating the two). people should be held accountable for saying islamophobic shit just as much as they’re held accountable for saying any other sort of slur/hateful comment.
honestly "islamist" doesn't even make sense as a term to me because like what do you mean? its different from "islamic extremists" (which is kinda a vague term in itself) because it implies something intrinsic to islam that is violent and shady that muslims are trying to push. are you saying that salafis for example represent the majority of muslims? if so, i personally would disagree lol. its a super vague term that doesn't mean anything other than "i hate muslims."
"jihadist" also doesn't make sense because islamically speaking, jihad is a pretty wide concept that means different things in different scenarios. im not going to go too much into this, but "jihad" doesn't mean anything involving armed conflict intrinsically. the way i learned it is that its a "struggle" you do in the name of Allah. so things like studying to be a doctor (as long as it's for the purpose to please God) can be considered jihad. so like, when people use "jihadist" in the west im like.... ok... you clearly don't know the history and context and you're vilifying the concept of jihad overall.
you're right, i agree that these terms are only ever used to vilify and spread hate. when people use these terms they show me what type of person they are. and even when they call people terrorists (which in the united states, terror laws were specifically conceived and strengthened to criminalize palestinian resistance, even unarmed) its obvious that they're doing this to de-legitimize. because they never call israel terrorists because its state sanctioned violence. they view anything that isn't a "state" as terror activity because they consider the state as the only legitimate use of force and violence. israel was literally founded on terrorism of palestinians. but they never use those words to describe israel, do they?
but yeah i generally don't take people who say these things seriously and i don't think anyone should either. of course there are terror groups around the world that are LEGIT terrorists, but when talking about palestine, the media and even the law only calls palestinians terrorists. i dont know how to combat it other than rolling my eyes and talking over them tho. this is a problem within media overall thats so widespread.
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notthestarwar · 10 months
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Snippet from: When is a monster not a monster? Oh, when you love it. Chapter 5
Ghost Mace speaks to past Jaster (alive) and tells him what he knows of Jango's future, in the life he lived.
Mace's brow stiffened. "When we realised what we had done, we tried to find him but we could not."
"We tried to find the True Mandolorian's but the survivors had fled in all directions. We did try and see justice done, there was an overhaul of our internal mission preparation process. We changed our training. Dooku left the order as did his apprentice."
"None of it could make up for what we did. Years after the fact, I learnt that Jango was sold in to slavery by the governor. It took him years to escape. I learnt of the weight of what we had done in helping end the True Mandolorian's. In leaving Death Watch unchecked."
He meets Jaster's eyes. "We are here to discuss why we haunt Jango, but it would be remiss of me to not tell you that your son has haunted me every single day since the day I left on a mission to retrieve him; to attempt to offer reparations for what my peoples neglect brought down on him, and came home empty handed."
" We thought him dead, but I did not forget him. From that day, I've carried the weight of what we did to him. I have often thought of him over the years." Mace shook his head.
"You hold no blame here, but we just might."
And isn't that a thing. His son haunting a Jedi even before that Jedi might haunt him.
Jango is tangled up in something here far beyond Jaster's reckoning.
Mace is laying out the constituent parts that when put together, make Jango in to the man that is responsible for the death of every single person standing in that warehouse. Jaster isn't sure where that leaves him, because once he's done hearing this story, in the years that lay ahead of them yet, every single one of these horrible pieces is going to fall in to place. Tragedy after Tragedy ready to be pasted and slapped on to the boy he loves, his son, in order to make him in to the man that did this.
How the hell can Jaster stand by and let that happen?
There are no rules that apply to Jaster, not anymore. He doesn't care about morality or the ethics of fucking with a future that's apparently already happened. He has no care for his own code, not now. None of it matters.
Jaster is Jango's buir, before all else. He has been from the day he stepped in to a smoldering farmhouse and against the odds saw signs of life dancing across his HUD. The Ka'ra gave him Jango and by god, it can stand back while he brings his son back from the abyss.
Mace is watching him. "Jaster, you had no hand in making Jango Fett the man he became at the end. You did not abandon him, you were taken from him. I need you to know this. You should know that none of this was your fault. "
Jaster doesn't care. It doesn't matter if its his fault or not, he is responsible all the same; because he wants to be. He didn't fall in to parenthood, he walked in to it willingly. For Jango, there is no monster that Jaster will not face.
The ka'ra has given him one last gift. The opportunity to see Jango's life after Jaster, and a few precious years in which to try and change them. It may not be in Jaster's power to save his son from himself but by god, he'll die trying.
He looks at the Jedi.  "Tell me the rest."
Some of my thoughts below the cut
Some of my thoughts (because clearly rambling in the comments hasn't been enough for me lol)
I had a lot of fun with this one. I've written about ghosts before but with this one, I went at it from another angle. In this au, ghosts aren't bound by linear time. If you do something that leaves a ghost tied to your soul, they are tied to you in the past as well as the future. Jango and Jaster are both Force Sensitive (tho with a Mando understanding of it. They call it 'star touched') and so can see ghosts.
In this fic, moving in with Jaster sets Jango on the path that brings him to the prequels. Once he's on that path, the ghosts that'll be tied to him in his future, can move freely along the timeline, with each of them pulled to a particular version of Jango. Jango will obviously be responsible for the deaths of quite a few people, there are his bounties, the Jedi and the clones and so on; but when the first ghost appears he's just a kid. The story deals with Jaster coming to terms with the fact that his kid, who he loves beyond reason, even if he stumbled upon him quite by accident, one day becomes the person that will make all these ghosts.
At first there's only one ghost in their time, but Jaster can't let it go (tho he knows he should), he needs to know what happens. So he keeps asking until she admits that she isn't the only ghost and that they are tied to Jango as he's responsible for their deaths. Then, he keeps pushing until she introduces him to the others. She gathers them in a warehouse (so Jango doesn't see) and takes Jaster there.
In the part of the story this snippet is from, Jaster has just been confronted with an excessive number of people (including children) who are all tied to Jango as he's responsible for their deaths. He's had a (understandable) freak out, and ghost Mace has taken him aside and offered to tell him what he knows of Jango's future, and how it led to the death of so many people.
What follows is a buddy up adventure between Mace and Jaster (unlikely duo) in which Jaster tries to come to terms with what Mace has told him, and the horrible events that led to Jango becoming the man that would one day be responsible for all these ghosts. While he tries to save Jango from himself, long before he needs saving.
The idea behind the fic is the inevitability of a tragedy. There's a feeling when you're watching a tragedy play out, that it's all so unnecessary, that it didn't need to happen, but you only know that because as the audience you know that they are in a tragedy, the characters don't know. So what if a character did know? Jaster is served advance notice, will having that allow him to save Jango, or will it just feed in to the fulfillment of this prophetic future?
I wanted to explore the fact that there's only so much one particular character can do, in trying to prevent the end another is headed towards and also, the power of familial love, even when it's found somewhere unexpected. Jaster isn't Jango's blood family, he didn't even know him till he was an older child, which I think makes his love for Jango in spite of knowing what he will become, all the more powerful. The glimpse of Jango's future is disgusting to Jaster, it goes against all he believes in, but its Jango so he can't hate him for it, he loves him too much and so, he's determined to save him from himself. He's willing to do the impossible.
Then there's Mace: so in this au, Mace is sent out shortly after Galidraan, when it becomes clear to the order that they've made a mistake, to find the survivor they left in the hands of the Governor, and to right a wrong. He isn't successful, he looks everywhere but he can't find him, and in the end the order write him off as dead. In this au, Jango was 18 on Galidraan and what Mace sees as his failure to save someone that was little more as a child, and suffered so greatly thanks to what the order see as their own neglect, haunts him for the rest of his career.
Its that idea of 'the one case you couldn't close'. It's at the start of his career and he goes on to do amazing things, Mace is peak Jedi, he invents a new form, he's one of the youngest Jedi to be elected to the council, he ends up heading that council, but he is still human (or near human lol sw complicates everything. he's 100% human in a fallible/emotional/sapient sense) I think that as a Master Jedi he's very aware of his own weaknesses, and he tries to work through it, he talks to it with other Jedi, and he certainly doesn't let it affect his judgement, but he can't forget it all the same.
So it's this version of Mace that ended up meeting Jango in the arena. Which I think adds such an interesting angle.
#Jaster Mereel#Mace#I've been thinking about this one (and a part of chapter 7 which i might post as another snippet)#cause i saw a poll talking about who was responsible for Jango's death and I've got a lot of opinions about that#that can not be contained by a poll lol. it's something i explored in this fic#pretty much. i think that Mace had no choice but i don't think he'd agree with that. i think he'd struggle with having killed Jango and#how he killed him. (decapitation. a particularly violent move. which i don't think he had a choice in. but yeah think he'd struggle)#i think that Jango pretty much ensured his own end and was too intelligent to not realise he was doing that so i think that was a#self hatred/survivors guilt/'i have lived past my end' kind of thing#i also think that Jango was only the person that always would have brought death upon himself like that because his past made him so#and i think his past was bad enough to make him that because it suited the greater narrative to have him end up like that#it suited palps ends pretty much. did palps know he was doing that or did the universe just work in his favour? who knows.#still worked out well for him#the poll got me thinking about Mace which got me thinking about this fic but writing about the fic has me thinking about this fic again#kinda tempted to go through it again and give it a bit of a face lift. old once over. shine it up a bit#I've always hated that it's 17 chapters tbh. want it to be 15 or 20. i don't think I'll address that this time tho.#might just try an edit however#has this???? no i won't say it. not to curse it but... the editing/ read back block may... be shifting. possibly.#considering an edit hadn't seemed so possible in a while.#there are so many things i need to look over once i can lol I've posted things still in draft state#that's cool tho. no problem. not thinking about that just thinking about how nice it would be to give this old thing a shine#Mace is so ready here to absorb all the blame for everything on the order (and by extension him) but its really not on them
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essektheylyss · 2 years
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not to be an unhinged Capricorn of a writer, but I really love getting rejections. I'm taking up space as a writer! I'm getting feedback! often I get to know if I got to a second round or not, and if they actually want to see more of my work. sometimes they even suggest other markets to send the piece to that it might fit better!
I've never gotten a mean rejection—even when they're form responses, they are usually quite nice, and stress how many submissions the market or agency receives. and I understand that, but a lot of folks don't. just because you were rejected doesn't mean the reader didn't like the piece—because of how many submissions virtually every market and agency gets, there are dozens of reasons why they have to say no to things, even things they love.
and every personalized rejection I've gotten has actually made my day, because it is genuinely lovely to know that someone read my work and gave it enough thought and consideration to say something specific about it. because I get excited when anyone reads and thinks about something I've written! even if it's just one person!
like do I want the things to get accepted, yeah! cuz I like the pieces and I want other people to read them! but the disappointment of not having the thing published isn't personal, it's professional, and meanwhile I'm gaining a lot of insight into my writing just on statistics for getting a lot of rejections. I don't think that any given rejection is a reflection of me personally.
#i admit i am on the extreme end of the 'don't equate your writing to yourself' but i genuinely think that is SO important#specifically if you want to write professionally cuz like. you're gonna get rejected.#but i don't think you have to be HARDENED to that? like... i can tell based on responses which pieces are stronger than others#and which need more editing#but like. i do think you can be very emotionally invested in your writing and what you're saying and what stories you're telling#and also not take it personally when you get rejected#especially because each piece is different and individual and SMALL notably. even a whole book is NOT equivalent to You#so it isn't a full reflection on you#anyway just thinking cuz i got a rejection that genuinely made my day#like i would legit not have any way to gauge writing progress really if i was not submitting stuff#honestly i don't like telling people 'oh yeah x got rejected' cuz i always get 'aww sorry' and I'm like. i mean yeah but like oh well?#like it's not NOT disappointing to not get accepted but. cuz i would like to get stuff published not cuz i think it reflects on my worth#even like. as a writer lol.#tbh i think this is also like. a struggle with not considering how much of a thing other people see#you can write the most intensely personal story about your deepest trauma and a reader will never know. they're just reading a story.#it can be deeply affecting and still be. yanno. a story.#but also if im writing about my own shit im always abstracting it far enough that it is just like. an element of the thing.#and usually it's not even like. recognizable to me as what it originally was. it's like a transmutation.#or! it is recognizable but it's something that i didn't even recognize it as when i was writing it.#like I'm using writing as alchemy and it works so fucking great honestly#anyway I'll stop and go back to work but i had to make this post cuz i am laughing at myself for being so !!! over rejections#now. grad school rejections on the other hand. those hurt like a motherfucker lmfao#but mostly cuz 'ugh wdym i have to try again in a YEAR couldnt you just take me this time?'#whereas writing is like. cool im submitting this one piece to another three magazines as we speak.
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xxsabitoxx · 2 months
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Geto Suguru NSFW A-Z
Part of my 20k follower celebration (past due)
Warnings: if it’s not abundantly clear, this is smut :)
A/N: in honor of hitting 20k followers a while back, I’m going to be posting 10 NSFW alphabets for JJK men — scheduled post 6
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Suguru is so soft and reassuring after sex. He won’t make you lift a finger, going out of his way to clean you up and get you water. If you ask for a snack or a meal, he’ll return with it. If you ask for a hot bath or shower? He’s setting it up for you. Suguru will go above and beyond to make sure you are happy and satisfied because you go out of your way to do the same for him. He’s very much an act of service love language kinda guy. 
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Suguru loves your hips. He loves to hold them, he loves to bite them and kiss them, he loves to feel you squirming while he keeps you in place. His hands are naturally drawn to them. 
On himself, Suguru takes pride in his broad shoulders. He loves the feeling of your hands touching them, nails running down them, the way you cling to them as he fucks you. 
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Suguru really enjoys coming on your face. He loves pulling out of your mouth right before he cums just to jerk off the rest of the way and cover your face and tongue. He’s also very partial to creampies but at this point who isn’t — 
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Suguru really wants to use toys on you in public and even likes the idea of you using them on him. The remote control kind that vibrates, he likes the idea of you being at his mercy but secretly likes the idea of him being at yours. He also really likes the idea of predator/prey play, the idea of chasing you around to get what he wants (so long as you’re consenting). He’s brought it up a little bit, you’ve even had a few instances where it’s “happened” but it’s more so you giggling as he chases you around the house and catches you because you teased him. He wants to play a game of sorts, where you’re being hunted by him, but he’s too embarrassed to really delve into this little kink seriously. So he can settle with the playful chasing for now. 
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
Suguru has a lot of experience. He’s been with a handful of partners and has had multiple hookups. More so after becoming a cult leader. He certainly had people flocking to him with interest but he didn’t act upon their advances until after his deflection. Suguru is not shy about watching porn and even camgirls/camboys. He’s browsed through hentai mangas and even read a couple of raunchy novels. He knows what he’s doing to say the very least. 
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Suguru loves doggy, he loves watching your ass jiggle with the force of his thrusts. He also enjoys seeing you struggle to keep yourself up, arms and legs feeling weak as he fucks you. Suguru also enjoys having your back pressed flush to his front, angled so his hips can thrust into you while he uses his arm to keep you up. Either around your chest or around your neck… heh
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Suguru leans more on the serious / sensual side of things. It’s rare for him to make comments that are snarky or cause you to laugh while fucking. But if there is a chance you two bump heads or something “funny” occurs, he’ll definitely laugh and tease you about it later even if it wasn’t your fault. 
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Considering the lengths he goes to take care of his luscious long hair, Suguru takes his pubic grooming quite seriously (lmao). Honestly I think he keeps his hair fairly long but not long enough for it to be a turn off. It’s black like the rest of his hair and tbh I totally see him using conditioner on it (giggling at the thought bye)
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Super romantic even when he’s pissed off. Suguru will change his attitude left and right, fucking you stupid and going on and on about your attitude just to shower you in praise and reassure you the moment he sees tears or hesitancy in your eyes. He’ll try his damn hardest to never take things too far, always making sure you know you are loved by him and he isn’t just using you for sex. You mean the world to him and he wants to make sure you know that. 
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Suguru isn’t huge on masturbation after he gets with you. Before meeting you though? He got himself off once a day at least. If he wasn’t hooking up with someone, he was getting himself off using his own fist. It got to the point where he was doing it so frequently that he invested in a pocket pussy. He’s embarrassed about it even though he knows he shouldn't be. He kept it even after meeting you and will let you use it on him just to tease him. 
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Love it or hate it, I think Suguru has a big ole daddy kink. Accompanying that daddy kink, I think this man has an unrelenting breeding kink. He loves when you’re a brat, giving him the opportunity to put you in your place. He also has a thing for predator/prey play, he likes when you try and get away from him… knowing full and well that you are trapped regardless (consensually of course) 
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Suguru enjoys the challenge the shower brings him, an opportunity to show of his strength by holding you up against the wall and fucking you stupid. Suguru also enjoys fucking you in the backseat of his car… even when his personal driver is driving it f
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Sexy pajamas… like the silky matching sets. That paired with the amount of skin being shown off? Drives him absolutely wild. Suguru also enjoys when you call him “Sir” in front of his followers, bending down a little too far in your “work” attire so his mind runs wild. 
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Suguru is strongly against age play. He likes when you call him daddy, he knows you like it when he calls you baby/baby girl/baby boy. But Suguru does not fuck with the age play idea, if you start acting like a child while he fucks you he’s gonna get very weirded out. He enjoys the pet name aspects of the kink but that’s truly it. 
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Giving. Suguru is so utterly obsessed with pussy eating/dick sucking. He will beg you on his hands and knees, praying for you to say yes and let him go down on you. He dreams of it and would be content being suffocated by your sex. 
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Suguru will adjust his pace to your liking but he will always fall into the rougher, faster pace side of things. He can’t help it when he gets so lost in pleasure, his hips move on their own accord and that typically means fucking you until your entire body is moving with the effort. He also finds a lot of amusement in your moans stuttering due to the force of his hips. 
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Suguru loves a good quickie. Especially when he’s in between healing clients. Bending you over his desk and fucking you absolutely stupid clears his head before dealing with more of his insufferable clientele. (Heh sorry?) 
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Suguru is a massive risk taker. He doesn’t care if there is a chance of getting caught, he doesn’t care if people can see. Suguru is willing to try most things at least twice,  if he didn’t enjoy it the first time he’s willing to give it a second go just to make sure. 
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
How long Suguru can last depends on how long it’s been since he last fucked you. Typically he can last up to 8-10 minutes if you’ve been consistent fucking. But if it’s been a week or two apart? He can last 4 minutes tops. But his stamina doesn’t run out after, he can go 3-5 rounds if not more. 
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Suguru isn’t shy about toy use, they aren’t usually his go to items but he’s not one to shy away from him. He’s a bit meh on dildos because why have them when you have his cock… but everything else he’s down to use/try.  
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Suguru has a mean streak in him, if you piss him off he’s gonna be very unfair towards you during his punishment. He’ll go to both extremes: edge you till you’re crying and then make you cum until you’re begging him to stop. He’ll mock you, telling you to make up your mind. His aftercare is always immaculate though, and he makes sure to have safe words with you. 
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
At first Suguru tried so hard to keep his nosies to a minimum. He was unbelievably shy about making anything more than a groan or cursing. It wasn’t until meeting you and getting truly comfortable that he let himself go just a bit. He moans, whines, curses, even gets teary eyed if he’s feeling that good. He doesn’t try and restrain them either, letting them come out however loud they are with no care. 
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Suguru likes to record the two of you fucking when he knows he has to go away on a business trip and you can’t come with him. He likes filming both POV videos and 3rd person videos so he can watch them back and reminisce on your last time together. He’ll get off watching them when he knows he can’t call you because you’re already sleeping.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Suguru is an even 5 inches when soft and just over 6 ½ when hard. While he may not be as long as Satoru, he’s certainly girthier. He’s got a pretty tan color going up his shaft, his tip is a rosy pinkish red and he curves upwards. His dick can be mildly intimidating to some, so he takes care to prep you thoroughly before even thinking of going in. Suguru is also not shy about using lubes and oils, the wetter the better ;) 
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
As shocking as it seems, Suguru has a higher sex drive than Satoru. He arguably has the highest sex drive among jjk men in my opinion. He’s a closeted freak. He can control himself though, especially if you aren’t in the mood. 
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Suguru can get pretty tired after sex but he won’t allow himself to get comfortable and sleep until he assures you’re taken care of. While he can get exhausted from the activities, he knows he worked you out way more. So his priority will always be you. Once you’re content and sleeping, it only takes Suguru like 5 minutes tops to knock out for the night.
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valeskafics · 24 days
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Nate Jacobs NSFW Alphabet
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TW: profanity, innuendo, afab reader, she/her pronouns
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Euphoria characters nor do I claim to own them. I do not own any of the images used nor do I claim to own them.
Comments, likes, and reblogs are never required but are immensely appreciated 🩷
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
He thinks he’s an aftercare king but really? He’s doing the bare minimum. That doesn’t mean he doesn’t care, he just isn’t really aware of what’s expected of him after an intimate encounter. But if you’re just a sidepiece, he won’t bother with anything at all.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Your ass. Loves seeing it peak out from your cheer skirt. On himself? Not a body part but his size and how much bigger he is than you.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Nate’s cum is surprisingly palatable, considering his psychotically healthy diet. Also, there’s a loooot of it.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Has definitely hung back and spied on you in the girl’s locker room showers after a game before y’all got together.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
A fair amount. But you’re one of the first people where it’s actually meant something. Regardless, he knows what he’s doing.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Doggy style or missionary. He prefers being in control and setting the pace.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
Tends to err more on the serious side but if the moment arises, he can definitely joke and be goofy. Nate likes that he's comfortable enough with you that he can laugh at such an intimate moment.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Shaved. Well groomed. Obsessed with looking perfect.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
At first, intimacy is lacking. He’s closed off and focused only on the physical aspect. But with time? You can def get him to be more tender and loving.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He doesn’t like jacking off because he jokes likes saving all his cum for you (surprise, it’s not a joke).
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Breeding kink, dom/sub dynamics, CNC, somno, DD/LG, mommy kink (you have to unlock his tragic backstory for that one tho), impact play, choking
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
His truck when it’s parked in the school parking lot. Making the windows fog up so everyone knows exactly what y’all are doing.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
You in your cheer uniform, you bending over, the sound of your voice on the phone, your laugh, your hand on his arm, resting his hand on your thigh when he’s driving, watching you tie up your hair.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
He would never bring another guy into the bedroom.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Enjoys giving and is good at it but definitely prefers receiving. He loves watching you struggle to take his cock in your mouth with how big it is, drooling and crying as he fucks your throat.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Mostly fast and rough, with how his temper is.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
Quickie in the locker room before the game? In an empty classroom? He’s all fucking for it. Viva la quickie.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Risky in the way that he’ll mainly explore things that allow him to be in control but will occasionally let you take the lead (that’s a risk to him tbh).
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He’s an athlete and a big guy, trust that he has the stamina to go many rounds and make them last.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
He doesn’t really have any (that he’s willing to disclose) and he lowkey feels kinda jealous when you use your dildo or vibe LMAO. He wants it to be him.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Nate is the biggest asshole on the planet, of course he likes to tease. He’ll smack his dick against your clit for five straight minutes if you’re not begging well enough.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
More talkative than loud. Says the cuntiest, most out of pocket cocky shit while you guys are fucking. Lots of growling and moaning.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
Lowkey into somno. Like he’d love to wake you up by going down on you or fucking you.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
He has a monster cock. He knows it. He knows how to use it. He’s confident about it. There are some guys who can’t back up their egos, but Nate? He absolutely can.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
About what you’d expect. Maybe slightly higher than average.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Falls asleep right away, which is a testament to the fact that he feels extremely comfortable around you, enough to let his guard down and really relax.
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centipedelightning · 5 months
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Hi there I was wondering how you think the skeleboys (especially the papyrus's) would fel about a really tall S/O like I'm talking like just a little under 8 feet tall (they could be a monster if that helps). Established romantic relationship.
(Underfell, undertale, underswap plus dealers' choice again if you want :D)
PS: Love your work. You're totally underrated
skdjgdskj This is so fun. and thank you!! I'm glad you like my stuff!! tbh I think I'm average rated when you consider the fact that I never fucking post dkfghkg. I don't want to talk about how old this request is...
| UT/UF/US x Super Tall!gn!Reader || Romantic || fluff |
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Sans
Listen
He's already a pretty short guy.
So he's used to being towered over.
But eight feet?? Yeah, you aren't getting away with it.
Sans is standing on Everything to be at eye level with you.
Everything.
I hope you like being big spoon because that is what you will be for the rest of forever.
Damn near every time he wants to kiss you, he will make a joke about climbing a tree/mountain/skyscraper.
The only way to shut him up is to lean down and kiss him. Please do he's not afraid to reuse old material and that's when it gets super painful to listen to.
The lazybones is never going to reach for anything again. Ever.
Papyrus
He's already used to being shorter than a number of other Monsters, so he doesn't think too much of it.
If you were a human he would make a surprised comment about how he didn't know humans could get so tall, but that would be the extent of it.
He actually likes when you have to lean down to kiss him. It makes him fluttery because he is the one that usually has to stoop down.
He loves dancing around with you! For similar reasons to the kissing thing, he's usually the one to lead because he's usually taller, so your relationship is a welcome change.
If you ever dare to rest your arm on his head or noogie him he will a) complain loudly and b) go apologize to Sans because he's "NEVER REALIZED THE STRUGGLES OF BEING SO SHORT".
Red
This guy has a complex okay.
Instead of joking with your height, he'll joke against it.
i.e. he will do whatever he can to jokingly treat you like you are short.
If you are sitting down anywhere, Red is gonna drag a stool or chair over, get up on it, and joke about you being short.
Don't you dare hit your head on a doorframe you will never hear the end of it.
Shameless in just dragging you down to his level when he wants a kiss.
You two can go to bed in any cuddling position you want, you're more than likely going to wake up with Red koala bear-ed to your side.
Good luck getting out of there by the way; his grip strength is surprisingly intense.
Edge
In a similar vein to Papyrus, Edge is used to people being taller than him. He's just also whiny about it.
He'll try to "prove himself" in every little way he can regardless of how annoying it might be. Tall shelf? Prepare to get shoved out of the way so Edge can get it for you despite the fact that you are significantly taller.
He won't say it but he does appreciate not needing to hunch over to talk to people.
He will say that he doesn't like looking up so far. He'll say it constantly.
Lovesss clothing shopping with you. The man has taste and money. You will never struggle for well-fitted, good-looking clothes.
He has his besties at the tailors that will soon become your besties as well. The hottest power couple ever truly.
Dogamy and Dogaressa look out.
Blue
So fine. So, so fine.
On his best behaviour really!
Blue pulls the same "prove he's capable by doing tall things for you" shtick Edge does but he's completely unaware he's doing it.
If you say you're gonna get up and get a glass of water, he's already in the kitchen telling you he's got it. Not a setup if you're more lazily-inclined.
Do you treasure your teeth? I hope not.
He will jump up to kiss you and by god can that man put some oomph into a jump.
If he starts looking at you with a suspicious glint in his eyelight do yourself a favour and just lean down.
Stretch
Little spoons. That's his number one activity with you.
Due to his height, Stretch can't usually be the person who gets cuddled vs. does the cuddling so you are very exciting for him.
Love love loves rotting on the couch with you.
If you're a human, his favorite spot is to lay on your chest and doze while listening to your heartbeat.
If you're a Monster, it's more in the center of your sternum to listen to the magical buzz of your soul.
You will experience more pranks than you think you can bear. You know the plastic wrap across a doorframe prank? Yeah.
You have been lured into a false sense of confidence because if Stretch is tall, he wouldn't possibly pull that kind of bullshit on you right? He would have to trip his own trap right?
Don't underestimate Monster building codes. Those doorways are Tall. He has room.
After a certain point, you learn to just duck through every doorway.
It doesn't help.
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idciminlove · 3 months
Text
Mauga NSFW alphabet
Maugaloa Malosi x GN!Reader
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A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
Very caring, especially if he was rough with you. Some nights he will press a damp cloth between your legs, others he’ll run you a bath. He definitely cuddles after too. (He’s the big spoon obviously)
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
Yours: I see him as an ass man but tbh I don’t think he has a big preference. Tits, ass, thighs, it doesn’t matter. As long as he has something to hold on to.
His: His chest..for obvious reasons lmao
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Comes thick heavy loads and he loves to come inside. Filling you up and fucking you full of his seed makes him feel closer to you, like you are bonded together. It’s like he’s marking you as his. So when he pulls out, he’ll make sure to push his cum back in, making you whimper in sensitivity.
Coming down your throat is a close second for sure, though. Loves seeing you all teary eyed, gazing up at him as you swallow whatever you can. Seeing you all submissive like that is such a pretty sight.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
I feel like he’d be an open book tbh- so none?
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He definitely knows what he’s doing. With his “living every day like it’s his last” mentality and low impulse control, I feel like he would fuck often. Prob would mainly have one night stands, but he doesn’t care. He sees something he wants, he takes it.
Also “Let’s go break some hearts!” Def has a double meaning to it and that’s all the proof I need
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
You on top (aka Cowgirl)- It’s much easier with you on top, especially considering how fucking big this man is, but that doesn’t mean you have control. Not at all. He’ll have his hands on your hips, moving you at whatever pace he wants, bouncing you on him. He also appreciates the view of you up close, right in his lap.
Full Nelson- He loves manhandling..and if that includes folding you like a lawnchair then so be it
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
In his own way, yeah. He’d probably make jokes that only he finds funny in his sadistic mind, like seeing you struggle from how good and overwhelmed he’s making you feel.
Maybe if you’re nervous he’ll make a joke or two, just to get you to relax.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Somewhat groomed..he rlly only does trims when it gets too long, but there’s always a patch of black hair down there lol
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
Def depends on your relationship with him. If it’s a one night stand, then little to none. Maybe a kiss here or there, but it’s more heated than intimate, all tongue and teeth.
It’s not until you’ve been dating him for a while, and you get his walls to come down and get him to trust and love you that he gets really intimate. He slows down a bit more, looks you in the eyes..not just to see your expression but to see you…all of you. And he kisses and holds onto you like he never wants to let go. Like if he does, you’ll slip through his fingers and disappear. Will whisper affections into your ear and against your lips and neck with every slow roll of his hips.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
Again, it depends on your relationship with him. If you’re dating, maybe once in a while, like if he’s away on a long mission. He’ll probably either do it while calling you so he can hear your voice, or he’ll send a video, calling you a tease and telling you how much he misses you. And if he can’t get through to you then, he’ll do it the old fashioned way..but he won’t be happy about it lmfao
If you’re not in a relationship with him…but he’s planning on getting you or trying to get in your pants, much more often. Will definitely fantasize about you often and all the nasty things he wants to do you. And if you don’t pay him attention/play hard to get or whatever, he’ll definitely want you much more. After all, he loves the chase.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Size Kink- Loves that you’re smaller than him, seeing the size difference in your hands and bodies always gets him going, especially when you struggle to take him, no matter how much he’s stretched you out before.
Praise/Degradation- He does both- but his degrading isn’t all insults and stuff, more like talking to you in that condescending tone and teasing you- and for praise he’ll tell you how good you are for him and how pretty you are…whatever gets more of a reaction from you.
Overstimulation/Dumbification- Loves when you’re all fucked out and dumb on his cock, crying and writhing, hardly any thoughts left in your head except for how good he’s making you feel.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
Basically anywhere, the man does not give a fuck. He will fuck you anytime anywhere: at your place, at his, in a cabana at the beach (it’s not his cabana), and even in one of the storage closets on Talon’s base.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
Lots of stuff..it could be the smallest thing, like if you look at him a certain way, or accidentally brush against him, but he loves to piss you off. He thinks you’re sexy when you’re angry, and he sometimes he gets you mad on purpose because he enjoys seeing you like that, and he can fuck the attitude right out of you
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
While Mauga is a strong willed and stubborn person, he definitely wouldn’t do anything you’re uncomfortable with. The moment you tell him to stop or say no, he’ll stop. He respects you and your boundaries.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
He’s a giver for sure. It doesn’t matter what size you are, big, small or in between, he will have you sit on his face..and put ALL of your weight on him lmfao. He’s nasty and messy, but he’s amazing at giving head. It always leaves your legs shaky, especially since he probably won’t let you go until you’ve come on his face at least twice.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Def on the faster/rougher side but there might be some nights when he’s slow and passionate, if he’s feeling really romantic, or if you ask him nicely.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He doesn’t mind them, even though he prefers to draw things out. But if it’s an opportunity to get physical with you, he’ll go for it. (He def does them when he’s about to leave for a mission, fucking you five minutes before he has to get to the hangar)
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Mauga loves adrenaline and risky stuff, so absolutely. Will do whatever you want and/or are up for.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
He has lots of stamina, especially after his heart transplants. He will either go until you can’t take anymore or until he’s satisfied.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
Probably has a few, which are mainly for you. He uses them occasionally, but mostly prefers skin to skin contact.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He loves to tease. Will edge you for hours before he finally gives you release. He’ll also taunt and mock you in the midst of it.
“Awww is it too much for my poor baby? Too bad.”
“You wanna cum so bad, don’t you? I can see you cryin for it. Be good and I’ll give it to you…eventually.”
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He’s a pretty loud guy, not too loud, but loud enough to piss off your neighbors. Mainly growls, grunts, and groans. No whimpers..sorry :(
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
He’s a biter, especially with those sharp ass teeth of his. He loves to cover you with hickeys and bites, from your throat to the crook of your shoulder. He’ll complain whenever you try to cover them up, and if the marks start to fade, he’ll just leave more. Everyone has to know who you belong to, after all.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
Okay, bear with me y’all…but Mauga is a huge ass guy, so my guess is 8.5 inches, more girthy than long, but not too thick. He has a pretty cock for sure, with a slight curve a veins or two running up it, and a dark brown tip.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
Very high. It’s always been somewhat high but after his surgery and his whole mental shift to living on the edge, he decides that he does whatever he wants when he’s feeling it (dont get me wrong he is very intelligent and calculated, but sometimes he just destroys shit when he wants to, and the same can be said about sex lmao)
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
It takes him a little while. He always has to watch you fall asleep first, making sure you’re safe and comfortable in his arms. He strokes your hair, rubs soothing circles into your back, before he eventually falls asleep himself.
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starlight-library · 1 month
Text
IOU | OP81
pairing: ghostface!oscar x ghostface!reader
summary: reader & oscar are best friends but reader would love to get a shot with ghostface. what they don’t know is that their chances are closer than they think…
warnings: [DARK THEMES USED & SMUT] slightly descriptive murder, mention of stalking stalking, mention of blood, breath play, public sex, oral sex (m receiving), dry humping, dom!oscar, sub!reader, degradation, hair pulling (if you squint??), face fucking, deep throating
a/n: once again, dark themes used! please read the warnings above!!! i answered a asked on my main here and decided to make a oneshot of it (yes i quote J's ask cause it was too good). tbh didn't even plan for a plot but here we are! I know my answer and this are vastly different...i don't wanna talk about it. also ghostface!oscar series belongs to @piastrification so homie this one is for YOU!! Also happy belated Valentines day omg. Hope you enjoy 🫶🏽
word count: 4.5K
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This week has started out to be one of the worst weeks you’ve had in a very long time. Monday started off with your car breaking down on the way to campus and you completely missed your first class. When you got to campus an irritated Oscar was waiting asking why the hell you didn’t call him. “Even though I was in class, I would’ve left and gotten you,” he told you. You weren’t in the mood to argue so you just apologized and told him you’d call him next time which seemed to ease his irritation slightly. Seemed he also had a pretty shitty Monday.
Tuesday brought your shitty manager everyone hates at your job to end a relatively quiet day. It was the typical bullshit but still didn’t mean you had to enjoy it. You spent the whole drive home on the phone with Oscar screaming your head off about all the things your manager had done. The micro-managing of your work, the snarky remarks, the extra work so he can just fuck off in the back, god you could not stand this manager at all. Oscar listened like he always did. “You don’t deserve that,” you could hear the frown in his voice, “honestly he shouldn’t even be a manager. I could take care of him for you.” You laughed. You thanked Oscar for the offer but you had already decided that your manager would be your next victim. It would be tricky considering everyone in the store knew how much you two despised each other but it would get done.
You ended up with a stomach bug on Wednesday. You woke up around four in the morning with a jump and just made it to the bathroom before you got sick. You stayed in there for a good hour before there was nothing left in your system and you dragged yourself back to bed. You somehow coherently managed to message your professors you’d be missing class due to illness and texted Oscar that you’d be out sick today before promptly falling asleep. You woke to a knock on your front door and dragged yourself out of bed. You made a face seeing Oscar standing outside with a bag. “What are you doing?” You ask.
“Taking care of you. Can I come in?”
“What if you catch it? What about classes?”
You watch Oscar simply pull a KN95 mask out of his pocket. You narrowed your eyes as he slipped it on. You didn’t need to see his face to see the cheeky smile he was giving. His eyes twinkled slightly with humor as he gently turned you around and guided you back inside your place as he listed the things he brought over and how he can afford missing one day to make sure you eat and rest, a habit you tend to struggle with. He really was a good best friend.
Thursday is really when you hit your limit. Arriving on campus you and Oscar head to class though neither of you really paid attention. You two spent most of the time texting each other even though you guys were sitting right next to each other. When class ended the two of you headed to the closest campus cafeteria before parting ways. You got on the line to grab the food while Oscar secured you two seats since it was roughly lunch time and everyone would be out and about.
Carrying the two to-go containers after paying you make your way to the back left corner. It’s usually where you and Oscar sat and enjoyed just people watching and gossiping about other students but you slowed your walking. Oscar was looking up at someone. Fucking Brittany. One of the sororities girls. Sorority president actually. Brittany was in a nice blouse, a skirt, some fucking heeled boots. Her blonde hair was thrown up into a messy bun and she was leaning forward slightly while smiling wide at Oscar.
Jealousy hit you like a truck. You grip the to-go containers tighter while standing frozen in your spot watching them. You wanted to march over and tell her to fuck off. Grab your stupid bun and slam her head into the table until she’s bleeding out. Or maybe take the plastic forks that rested on top of the to-go containers and gauge her eyes out for having the audacity to even look at Oscar. Alas, you refrained from it all. Instead you just tilted your chin up and made your way over with a tight smile. “I’m back!” You announce to Oscar. The both turn to face you and Oscar visibly relaxes slightly but Brittany is giving you a once over clearly unimpressed. You turn and blink, feigning surprise. “Oh! Brittany. Hi,” you keep your tone light and friendly, “what brings you here?”
“Oh, I was just talking to Oscar,” Brittany smiles, “we’re partners for our history project.” You could give two shits less what it was as you spy Brittany’s hand moving to Oscar’s upper arm and resting there with ease. Something so subtle but could come off as flirty and you wanted to cut her hand off. How dare she think she can touch Oscar like that? “…and wanted to see if he wanted to come to the frat party Saturday night,” she concludes.
“Oh, isn’t that sweet of you. Can he bring a plus one?” You ask putting the containers down, sliding one over to Oscar.
“If he wants…” Brittany glances at Oscar with a smile then back at you, “but we need to know to make sure they’re on the list. Even then…it depends on the mood if everyone gets in.”
“Then it seems kinda stupid for a list, don’t you think so?” Oscar asks finally. Brittany laughs. It wasn’t even that funny. You realize now that she’s flirting with Oscar. Well. This just won’t do. Not like you care anyway. Oscar is your best friend. Sure you love him but it’s platonic -or so you tell yourself- so it shouldn’t bother you but it does. It does bother you because Brittany was the queen heartbreaker. She used guys until she got bored. Until they got attached and couldn’t offer anything else after giving her everything. You were not about to have Oscar be a pawn in her fucking game. You had missed the remark Brittany gave as you sat down, your heart pounding in your ears.
“…let me know!” Brittany calls out as she’s already walking away.
“Ugh. As if,” Oscar murmurs and turns his attention to you. “Hey,” he starts softly. Bring your gaze to him and you blink, “you okay?”
“Yeah,” you manage a smile, “I’m fine. Did you see the shoes she was wearing?” You ask to divert the subject as now you might have something fun to do this weekend.
* * *
Personally, you never understood the hype of sororities and managed to curb every single one who tried to recruit you. It was just a bunch of girls with money and tried to make it sound like it wasn’t a cult but it most certainly was if you got in. Moving into the house, what they expected you to wear, how to act in public, who can and cannot date, for fuck sakes they monitored your social media post and if they didn’t approve of something you posted they would either make you take it down or probably kick you out. You much preferred your freedom over dealing with that bullshit.
Luck had shined down on you when you heard some of the girls mention Brittany couldn’t go to the bar tonight because she was under the weather and just ‘had to get better for tomorrow in case her special guest came’. It was a miracle that you didn’t march over here and slaughter Brittany right then and there but you bide your time. You had to be careful.
Now, slipping the mask on, you give it a five minutes after everyone else leaves before slipping through the back door. Standing quietly, you listen to the water running and slowly making your way through the house. Climbing the stairs you follow the noise until you’re outside the bathroom. You hear Brittany singing and you silently open the door. Steam hits your face and it takes everything not to cough from the sudden heat. Stepping in you watch Brittany’s silhouette run her fingers through her hair. Gripping the hilt of your knife, you inch forward. When Brittany turns you stab the knife through the shower curtain and straight in her heart. Twisting, you step forward until Brittany is pinned against the wall as she weakly has a hold of your wrist trying to pull the knife out her screams being drowned out by the shower and her choking on her own blood. You pull out before stabbing again to ensure that there was no chance she would be able to survive. When her attempts falter, you pull the knife out. Cleaning the knife off, you slip out of the house the way you came smirking knowing the rest of them wouldn’t have hot water for a long time.
Carefully you pack everything into your backpack you left in the woods by the house before securely zipping it. Slinging a strap over your shoulder, you start to head back to your apartment. You emerge from the treeline right into an alleyway and into town which is bustling with college kids. Perks of living in a college town. You just turn left and make your way back to your apartment which is a bit further uptown and you notice as the people start to thin out.
You feel eyes burning into the back of your skull. Turning your head over your shoulder, you stop. At the end of the block you see a figure in all black and an identical mask standing there. Normal people would do anything but stare. Call out to the figure, turn away and walk, call the police, something except just stand there silently and face off with this killer. Copycat killer that is. You suppose you’d have fans, sick and twisted probably, but you didn’t expect you’d end up creating a copycat killer. Not that you minded, actually the gesture touched you actually. People had been too stupid to realize it was a copycat but not you.
After all, their first kill happened to be one of your best friends you recently dropped.
You can’t even remember why but you arrived to apologize and found her body on the floor, throat cut. It was a bit messy. The cut wasn’t as clean as you would’ve expected and there was blood everywhere. Even on the poor bitch’s hands. Then you realize that there’s a few stab wounds. Seemed she put up a fight before whoever did it got the kill. Then someone clears their throat and you raise your gaze.
There you saw him.
An identical ghostface mask, black long sleeve shirt, jeans, and sneakers. Personally you preferred boots but to each their own. As much as some little sane part in your head told you to stop judging this person’s choice in shoes and run, you stood there staring because god he was so *distracting*. Honestly, the tight fit long sleeve should be illegal for killers to wear. It clung to him defining each curve of his muscle and you couldn’t help but get turned on because well–they’re a well fit masked killer.
“Did you do this?”
The killer nodded. Silence fell upon the two of you before you finally asked, “why?”
“...Why?” The voice asked. A shiver ran down your spine hearing the low murmur. A voice modulator just like you. Smart and well fit? Shit, “that’s all you can ask? Why? Aren’t you supposed to be running and screaming?”
“Well I find that a bit stupid,” you retort, “you’re right here. Masked or not, you're taller. You have length compared to my short legs. I might have you in agility and you’re a bit messy with your killing. Shaky in the hands.” You tilt your head to the masked figure with a small smirk. You watch the figure tighten his grip on the hilt of the knife before he’s in front of you in about four steps. You gasp as your head is yanked back by your hair, knife against your throat.
“Are you asking to be killed right now?”
“I mean you gonna fuck me before you kill me?”
Ghostface reels their head back slightly. Stupidly, they loosen their grip from the shock. Taking your chance, you grab the first with the knife and twist it away from you. They shout out in pain as you get your hair free and release their wrist before kicking the figure harshly in the stomach. You step on the figure’s chest a bit harshly. Smirking down at him, “expect the unexpected sweetheart. But you never answered me. Why?”
You can hear something faintly. You cannot believe this guy is mumbling. Leaning down slightly, you turn your ear, “I can’t hear you,” you tease.
“I did it for you.”
Now you’re stunned. You lean back slightly, hand over your heart. You don’t dare move though. You expect it to be some sick joke but the laughter never came. You bite your bottom lip having half the mind to suck him off right then and there. You stay strong though. Instead, you move to stand over the figure and bend down and hook a finger under his mask. His hand flies to your wrist and you laugh.
“I’m not gonna take your mask off,” you explain, “Trust me. Right now I am getting extremely horny and I don’t think I can handle you being ugly under the mask. Would just completely kill the mood.” You laugh hearing the figure let out an offended noise, “but aren’t you sweet,” you tilt your finger up and the figure follows, lifting his chin, “don’t be a stranger, yeah? Now, you should get off so I can feign the heartbroken emotional ex- best friend.”
Ghostface is in front of you now. He’s got your chin between his thumb and finger staring down at you and you blink as you come out of your memory. He’s close and you can hear his soft breathing which forces your own breath to hitch. You curl and uncurl your fingers and you hear a small huff behind the mask accompanied by a smirk you assume. “My,” he murmurs softly, “what do we have here. You shouldn’t be walking alone at night like this little one. You never know what lurks in the dark.”
You take a deep breath to keep your voice even. Pressing your thighs together you try so hard to stop the heat that’s starting to spread through your body. You should not be getting this turned on but how could you not? You had a copycat killer who kept killing people that you had issues with somehow and someway. “I–” You start, biting your bottom lip trying to find the words but you’re cut off with a chuckle.
“You’re so worked up for me. I can see it in the clench of your legs, the flush on your cheeks, the way your pupils dilate and the way you bite your lip for me. You don’t even know who I am. I could be a total stranger, who followed you home one night and just never stopped, but I could also be your best friend, that you’ve known for years, who you think you know like the back of your hand. You don’t even know. But I know one thing for certain though- I’m sure your panties, if you’re even fucking wearing any, are already soaked.”
You hate the fact he’s right. Your breathing slightly heavy as your eyes widen as you listen. Shifting, you clench your thighs even tighter as one of your hands slips between your thighs slightly. You can’t see his eyes but you can feel his stare bruning into yours and you actually look away. This hasn’t happened before.
“Look. At. Me.”
Your eyes snap back and your mouth hangs open slightly. You can feel how wet you are every time you shift and by god do you need something here. “What do you want, love?”
“I would very much like to take you up on that offer and suck you off,” you nod your head in the direction of the alleyway.
“Excited, aren’t we?”
“We’ve been at this for months of fucking course I’m excited.”
He grips your jaw tightly, “I’d watch that tone if I were you. I can happily just walk away and leave you here alone.” Your eyes travel downwards and spy his half hard bulge against his jeans and then back up, “I can handle myself and sleep much more satisfied than you probably would with your fingers,” leaning close to your ear, “but I’d be a fool to leave you so desperate without giving you a taste.” Your eyes nearly roll into the back of your head but he lets go of your jaw and spins you around, smacking your ass. You startled with a yelp before quickly scurrying to the alleyway.
Any sane person, seeing the alleyway lead to the woods, probably would have taken the chance to run but not you. You were so desperate to finally fuck this copy cat that you spun around as he rounded the corner. You gasped as your back slams against the brick wall feeling pain through your shoulder for only a brief moment as your hands fly to Ghostface’s wrist as he holds you there by your throat. Oddly enough your calm even though he could easily choke you as your breathing becomes a bit more jaded. Lifting his mask slightly you stare at the slightly chapped but pink lips as you drop your bag. They look so familiar, why?
You can’t really think longer on it as he moves his hand up to your jaw tightly and his lips are on your neck as you gasp for air. He wedges his knee between your legs and immediately you roll your hips whining loudly. You let your eyes drift close as the figure litters your neck in kisses along with marks. You let the figure tilt your head so he can litter the otherside in matching marks. Your nails dig into his wrist earning a hiss against your neck. When he pulls back your eyes stare at his lips and you’re so tempted for a taste. You find yourself starting to lean in before he’s pushing you onto your knees. Blinking, you're now eye level with his obvious bulge and glance up at him fixing his mask.
Dropping your gaze, your hands get straight to work. Undoing his jeans you pull the zipper down before pulling his pants down just enough. You hold your breath seeing the outline of his cock because oh it looks so much bigger than you’ve had which…was very few. There was only one way to really find the truth. You let your fingers dance across the waistband of his boxers before you tug, cock basically popping free. You lean back with wide eyes because it is bigger than you’ve had. It’s actually the biggest you’ve ever had. The length was maybe just an inch or two over average which was impressive enough but it was the girth that really made your mouth water and the precum leaking out just makes you drool.
Gently wrapping a hand around his cock, the figure’s breath hitches as he bucks his hip. You give a few experimental tugs not really for a reaction but more so to get a feel of him in your hand. Big. Girthy. Heavy. God, how pent up was he? You feel fingers through your head as you continue to cautiously jerk him off before licking the tip. The reaction pulled out of the figure was a low satisfied groan and it encourages you to take the tip of his cock into your mouth. You swirl your tongue around the tip before sucking, alternating between the two before you finally you’re ready.
If you had known how big he was you would’ve been a bit more…prepared. You weren’t naive enough to think you could take all of him down your throat. God no. Maybe with some training and patience later if the figure would let you but you didn’t have either of those things or really time on your side. Still, you had to make sure to keep the figures interested in you- even if he’s killed for you already. Better safe than sorry, right?
Hollowing your cheeks out and flattening your tongue on the underside of his cock, you start to suck him off. Bobbing your head you can’t help but feel a bit of a rush go to your head as the figure above lets out another loud ground. You glance up to see the figure’s neck as his head is tilted back. You're absolutely drenched watching him and find yourself slipping a hand into your own pants and moan around him as you rub your clit. That catches his attention as his head snaps down to look at you.
“Naughty girl. You’re so turned on from sucking me off that you have to touch yourself?” It earns a strangled whine, “such a pathetic slut.”
You can’t help but moan at that. “Wow. You are so fucking pathetic it’s adorable.” The figure coos and grips your hair to stop you. Shifting, he puts one foot in front of you and smirks, “here why don’t you just hump my leg while you’re at it.” He taunts.
Funny enough you’ll take him up on that. The moment he frees your head you go back to bobbing your head on his cock humming in delight as you hug his leg, settling on his foot and grind your hips down. If your lips weren’t so occupied at the moment you would smirk at the shocked reaction you pull from the figure but you’re lost in your own world. The stretch of your jaw combined with the already dull ache lulls you into a peaceful trance. You completely ignore the spit that’s starting to wet your chin.
You feel the figure’s other hand gently grab your jaw trapping you in place suddenly. You stared up with doe eyes as the figure fucked your face before you felt him hit the back of your throat. You gagged and your hands flew to his thighs for some stability as he repeated the action. “So fucking good. Taking my cock,” the figure grunts out and tears prick your eyes when he stops moving and you gag because he’s so far down your throat. He pulls off just enough for you to gasp and get some air before he’s back in your mouth and fucking your face again. You’re prepared for it this time as you relax your throat and gag less.
Having lulled yourself into such a peaceful you nearly let your eyes slip close. Sliding your hands down, you wrap your arms around Ghostface’s leg as you continue to fuck yourself against his foot while he fucked your mouth. You ended up tuning everything else out except him and listening to him ramble was going to get you off alone. ‘Such a gorgeous cock drunk whore’, ‘you look so pathetic humping my leg while you let me fuck your mouth it should be illegal’, and ‘you’d look so beautiful being my personal cock drunk slut’. It’s the one you made out between all the groans and moans and curses. You felt his tug at your hair as a warning and you finally opened your eyes.
“Fuck–shit–I’m gonna–” He groaned but doesn’t stop his thrusting. He does the opposite as he picks the pace up. That’s all the encouragement you needed. You find your hips onto his foot even harder and faster as you. You feel the familiar coil in your abdomen and you’re trying so hard to reach it. He snaps his hips forward and forces himself down your throat. Your eyes go wide and you gag, choking on his cock as he spills into your throat. You hit his thighs and try to focus on breathing through your nose but even still the rough face fucking before forced deep throating was enough to send you over the edge. You groan and whine as you continue to hump his foot before he pulls you off his cock and slips his foot out from under you.
Sitting there, you gasp for air as your chest heaves. You look up at Ghostface and lick your lips slowly as you debate if you wanna turn over and let him fuck you right now. He would. For sure…probably and he taste good to. But that would be giving too much. You were the original after all. Finding your footing, you stand up and slide your pants down. There’s a choked sound from Ghostface and you glance over at the figure looking away.
“Seriously?” You raise a brow and giggle, “you just fucked my face but you get all bashful about seeing me in my panties.”
“I–well. I mean. No–” This one sucked at lying. Rolling your eyes, you look away as you take your pants off before sliding your panties off. “What are…” Ghostface’s voice trails off as you stuff your soiled panties into his front jeans pocket. “Consider it an IOU,” you say as you hurriedly put your pants back on. You’re grabbing your bag before the figure gets a chance, “this was fun but I have to run. My friend is coming over for a movie night and he’ll be pissed if I’m not there,” you sigh dreamily at the end of the alleyway, “he’s so caring like that. Anyway, bye!” You say before you’re slinging your back over as you take off. You get home and quickly change into some pajama panties (with new panties) and a sweatshirt before finding yourself settled on the couch while flipping through for a movie.
Hearing keys jingle you look up, you smile at your best friend walking in. You two are so close that he has his own copy. Oscar’s in a baggy grey hoodie with some black jeans on as he takes his shoes off before making his way to the back of the couch. He smiles slightly at you and offers dinner but you decline. As he turns for the kitchen, you spy something hanging out of Oscar’s pocket. It looks like a fabric of some sorts. Watching him in the kitchen, you decide to get some water. Quietly getting off the couch you stand in the doorway. Oscar continues to cook himself dinner and you wait until he’s focused on whatever is in the pan to strike. Passing behind him, your eyes drop down and your breathing stops. Black lacy panties with red roses on them. You look up at Oscar who’s glancing at you over his shoulder. His gaze follows yours and he smirks.
“Can I cash that IOU now, darling?”
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ilylovelyz · 8 months
Text
kenma fatherly headcannons
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i thought it would be interesting to think about what kenma would be like as a father 🤔
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look, im not even gonna be nice with it, i definitely dont see kenma being excited at the idea of having a kid 😭
definitely was like "are you being fr 😟?" when you told him
he obviously wasnt an asshole about it, but he couldn't help his feeling and indifference about the whole thing
the two of you had a long talk about it
the whole time he was more or less "are you sure about this"
hes not a horrible person/partner, he wasnt about to force you to do an abortion
he just wanted to make sure this was actually what you wanted to do and if you were actually serious about it
after you were stern about keeping the baby, he was fine with it
he was more worried about how he would be like as a father because he's very much scared of little kids and struggles to bond with just anyone
also a little peeved at the thought of his alone/free time being taken away
doesnt like the idea of his alone time with you having a literal permanent third wheeler but wont admit that to anyone but kuroo 🌚
during ur pregnancy, he was actually really okay with it
he would check up on you various times of the day, asking how you feel
yeah, he wasnt really excited for it, but that doesn't mean he wont try for it
would pause his games and go to wherever part of the house you were in, eyeing your baby bump with those wary cat eyes of his, all "..how are you feeling..?"
tbh i see you getting pregnant before marrying him because the two of you were kinda lazy with being careful 😅
he kinda facepalms because now hes like "why didnt i think of the possibility of pregnancy🤦🏽‍♀️"
while it doesn't speed up the whole process, he'll now begin taking the thought of marriage seriously
he'll bring up the idea of eloping, or a small wedding because he doesn't like the idea of a big and elaborate wedding ceremony/party
he didnt really care about gender, but he did care about baby names because he didnt want the baby to have a stupid name
now i see him being very curious tho
so he'll ask you a bunch of questions about how it feels to be pregnant, eyes wide when you tell him all the gruesome parts 😭
will also spend some time looking up more information about pregnancy and childbirth
now i do think he'd be aware about how he should change himself for the better
he grew up kinda isolated, and he 100% didnt want that for his kid, especially considering the fact that his child will most likely be an only child too
aw sleeping in kenma's arms while he plays video games cuz hormones made you sad
he'll like announce ur pregnancy to his followers/fans, it was so random he was like "yeah guys im having a kid 😪 kinda scary ngl" during one of his livestreams
really appreciates and is totally surprised when he's gifted money and baby supplies by his fans
maybe posts short little clips of you sleeping in an odd position or doing random things because he thinks its funny how you now do things differently because your bump prevents you from doing things in a certain way
i think it would interest him in the way your baby bump grows
he would be a little mortified at the way he would poke your bump's skin and watch his indent stay there long after he pulled his finger away
would be kinda "??? 🤔🤨" when he first feels the baby's kick/movements
he would "begrudgingly" walk to the store for you late at night if you were craving something
acts all annoyed but lets bffr kenma we know ur a softie 🤣
okay for the birth tho he's so mortified
definitely doesnt want to watch but obviously will be there for you because he knows better
the whole time he feels secondhand discomfort for you and feels your cries in his deep in his core cuz ur in pain and he doesn't like that 😕
this might sound weird, but i see him bringing his portable gaming system to the hospital so you can play with him and get ur mind off things
not saying his feeling towards the baby will change after the birth, but he'll definitely be like "oh wow 😳" when the baby is first born
have u ever seen that clip of steve irwin first looking at bindi when shes born and hes all amazed and awestruck by her?
its like that but its less noticeable and its more like "this is my child?"
a little scared to hold the baby at first because he's afraid to drop her
but once he does he'll look down at it and be like "ur not so bad afterall 😪"
DEFINITELY doesn't get any sleep during the first few months because he'll for some reason take late night feedings/crying upon himself
hes all "ur such a pain bro 😒" while rocking the baby back and forth to soothe it, all cuddly and gentle with it
tbh i cant decide whether it be a girl or boy so its up to reader to decide
omg hes mortified after the first belch spit hes gone afterwards
literally condemns the baby to hell
hates changing diapers but does it for the sake of the baby's comfort and health
when he's alone with the baby, he'd be like "ur kinda ugly 🤔" while playing around with it
tbh i see him getting random bouts of urges to play with the baby and speaking to it in a baby voice secretly
gets really embarrassed if hes caught and acts like it never happened
when ur not there to watch the baby while he's gaming he'll actually be okay with the baby sitting in his lap while he games
if he wins he'll be all "lets goooo 😝" all up in the babies face 😭 lifting it up into the air and just being such a gamer dad
also starts teaching the baby how to play games real early on, making them hold a controller or something and teaching them game logistics
the baby is like 5 months old and doesn't know about taxes but knows about dnd 🤣🤦🏽‍♀️
i see him like announcing the birth of his kid to his followers/fans a couple weeks after the birth
only shows what the baby looks like when its like 6 months old and crawling all in the background, he'll turn around and be like "wanna see my baby?", lift up the baby and put it's face all up close into the camera 😭
does 0.5 and only 0.5 photos on the thing 😅
does a couple more streams afterwards when he "games" with the baby and blame loosing on the poor thing 😅
aw i can see him and the baby having matching outfits when he goes out with it
he's not the best dad, but he'll try his hardest
on a sweet note, if kenma feels lonely when ur away, he'll allow the baby to sleep in the bed he shares with you as a "substitution" and cuddle with it
yk that tiktok audio that goes "leave me alone baby 😒" and then goes "ur my baby i love you ☹️☹️🥰😘" yeah that hes that
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urdrowning · 1 year
Note
Hi :)
If you are taking requests, could you please do a Leah oneshot?
Maybe one where reader is really famous (a singer/model/actress/or whatever) and her and Leah have been dating for a while in secret. And Leah’s teammates are suspicious of who’s she’s always spending time with or texting.
Also if you could, could you include Leah introducing reader to them?
Could be England or Arsenal teammates. Or both lol.
Thank you :))
AN - tysm for the request !! i kinda got lazy at the end cause i caught covid while writing LMAO. i don’t really like the ending. MAYBEEEE i have a part two in mind of a soft launch.. maybe i don’t..
superstar / l. williamson
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celebrity relationships are always awkward. when you’re under constant spotlight, it can be hard to settle down. finding someone who actually loves you for yourself, and not for your status isn’t easy. so that’s why you truly believe yourself to be the luckiest of the bunch.
leah williamson, your diamond in the rough.
you met leah at the BRIT awards in 2022. the minute you made eye contact with her brilliant blue eyes, electricity coursed its way through the both of you. the two of you spent the entire night together, getting to know each other. sat on tables next to each other, conversing through the speeches and nominations.
“if you win this award, i’ll take you on a date.”
she smirks at you and you’re taken aback. you’ve been so caught up in her presence that you didn’t realise that your section was up. you and your band have been nominated for the best upcoming artist award (tbh idk if this is a thing. if it’s not, pretend it is) before you even know it, the announcer has taken the stage and begins to announce the winner.
“and the winner of the best upcoming artist award is..”
you can barely even comprehend what they are saying, you’re rather distracted by leah’s hand, as she moves it to discreetly hold yours under the table. you’re in a blur as the announcer continues and you don’t even hear who wins. but, judging by how your band mates have all stood-up and look like they’ve won the lottery, you’ve got a pretty decent bet. you get hoisted up by your band mates as you walk on stage for the group’s acceptance speech. you let your band mates do the talking, as you’re too dazed to even think. (this very much goes viral in with your fans. your ‘fish out of water look’ is now a fan favourite meme)
despite suffering from equally massive hangovers, she’s true to her word, leah took you out on a date the following night. even though it was a small date at the arcade, you would probably still consider it one of your most fondest memories. on your third date, you kissed her. then, on the following night, she showed up on your doorstep, flowers in hand, asking you to be her girlfriend.
your one year anniversary together is approaching and the two of you are still as inseparable as you were when you first met. despite not being together for long, the both of you are unable to picture a future without the other in it.
leah is a private person, as are you. you both agreed to keep your relationship quiet and between yourselves. but, with your relationship approaching it’s first milestone, the both of you are getting restless. neither your family nor your friends are aware of your relationship.
how you’ve managed to keep it a secret from your band mates is a mystery of scooby doo fame. especially since you literally share an apartment with one of them. you consider your band mates your own found family, your forever bestfriends. each of you have been best friends since secondary school, and clearly, have been inseparable since. ironically, you’re all major football enthusiasts as well. you and your band mates are die hard lioness fans, even attending the euro’s competition in support (again, it’s a mystery how they didn’t find out. leah wouldn’t stop smiling at you in the crowd) leah struggled as well, her teammates are getting suspicious. the way she hides her phone from them as she giggles at it when you text.
“you’re seeing someone, aren’t you.”
leah’s head shoots up from her phone at the voice, only to be met with a suspicious looking keira walsh. looking at her with an accusatory stare.
“w.. what are you talking about?”
leah stutters out in an attempts to deny it all, but keira can see right through her, and is determined to get the truth out.
“don’t pretend leah, i know somethings up.”
leah sighs and looks down, avoiding kiera’s glare. she shrugs her shoulders lightly and appears similar to a child who’s got caught breaking the rules. she then reluctantly and awkwardly mutters
“yeah, i guess i’ve being seeing someone..”
keira’s stern gaze breaks as she excitedly sits down next to her friend and grabs her arms, flinging her about as she rapidly fires questions at her.
“who is it? what are they like? how long have you guys been together? are you being safe?”
leah looks mortified. she’s getting overwhelmed with the amount of questions that are being fired at her.
“keira, for gods sake, slow down! we’ve been together for almost a year now, and she treats me well.”
keira pauses her movements, looking at leah with her mouth agape.
“.. a YEAR?? who is she?”
——
“i’m so sorry, babe. i didn’t mean for this.”
leah feels incredibly guilty. she stares at you through the phone screen after relaying the earlier events to you. you’ve been quiet since she started telling you, appearing to be lost in thought. after leah’s fifth apology, it seems you snap out of your trance and smile at her.
“leah, honey, breathe. it’s okay, i’m not mad. it’s about time we started telling people.”
you truly mean it, you honestly feel quite relieved that she made the first move in telling her teammates, as you’ve been fairly close to cracking the news to your band mates yourself.
the thought of telling your band mates makes you nervous, you don’t know why. there’s nothing bad about your relationship. it’s not like you’re dating someone 29 years younger than you (looking at you, leo dicaprio) besides, they are lioness fans themselves and would most likely be elated at the news of you dating their team captain.
“i know, but i should’ve talked with you before-hand.”
leah secretly is filled with relief as well, she no longer has to hide her love from her friends. but it doesn’t make her feel any better about how she told them.
“you’re talking to me about it now, i think that’s enough.”
she shakes her head lightly, fighting off a smile. you always manage to cheer her up, no matter what. it’s as if you have super powers.
“i would’ve told you sooner, but keira’s loudmouth blabbed it to the rest of the team. i’ve been questioned all night.”
the minute she had free time, she’d facetimed you straight away. after she found out who leah was dating, keira’s shocked exclamation of your name definitely didn’t go unheard. her england teammates had hounded her with question after question about you and your relationship together.
you’re about to reply to her before she lets out a yawn. you check the time and realise it’s late into the night.
“go rest, sleepy. i’ll talk to rory and get her to speak to my other band mates for me. i’ll speak to you in the morning, okay? love you.”
she smiles at you sleepily as she mumbles
“love you too, goodnight..”
you end the call and take a deep breathe as you prepare to face your bandmate/roommate, rory. you and her have been inseparable for years. you always planned on telling her first out of your friends and family, you have the utmost trust for her and you’re hoping she’ll be understanding and not upset at you for hiding your relationship from her. you exhale slowly as you get up from your bed and knock on her door.
——
leah 💗:
‘my teammates want to meet you x’
the text almost instantaneously shoots anxiety through your veins. despite being a big fan of them, meeting leah’s teammates is an incredibly daunting thing. they intimidate the hell out of you.
y/n 🤍:
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leah 💗:
‘baby it’s okay. if you’re not comfortable with it i’ll tell them no x’
yn 🤍:
‘no no. ofc i want to meet them, they’re just intimidating is all’
leah 💗:
‘aw babe you’re cute 🥰 they’re harmless. and i’ll stop them if they make u uncomfortable. promise x’
you both texted for a little while longer while agreeing that leah would come pick you up and take you to meet her teammates.
you told your band mates last night and it went down well. they were slightly hurt that you kept it from them but were mostly just excited for you and in shock that you managed to pull leah williamson herself. your train of thought is interrupted from the vibration of your phone, lighting up with a text from leah to let you know she’s outside.
she grins at you as you get into the passenger side of her car, leaning over to kiss you cheek.
“are you sure about this?”
she mumbles against your cheek, you can sense her nerves. she’s not nervous because she’s ashamed of you. she’s nervous because she can’t guarantee that her teammates will behave around you.
“i’m sure. i want to do this, it’s important to me.”
she smiles slightly at you, your words holding a great value to her. she then gives you one last kiss on the cheek before she starts the car and drives.
——
“girls, this is y/n. i’m sure you already know her, but please, be nice. she’s really important to me.”
leah’s grip on your hand tightens towards the end of her sentence as her sincerity shines through. it’s true, she cares about you enough to go to the ends of the earth for you.
“hi, it’s really good to meet you all. i’m a big fan.”
the rest of the girls sit there, disbelieving.
“YOU’RE a fan of US”
you chuckle sheepishly, using your freehand to play with the hem of your shirt nervously, one glance at the lionesses faces and you know you’re in for a tornado’s worth of questions. with a deep inhale, you smile and look at them.
“ask away.”
——
after being bombarded with question after question, the awkward and intense atmosphere has long left the room and you’re sat comfortable between leah and georgia. leah’s arm is wrapped comfortably and protectively around your shoulders, one glance at her face and you can see that she’s on cloud nine. all her favourite people are seamlessly bonding and she couldn’t be happier about it.
“let’s play a game!”
the loud voice of ella toone shouts, followed by the loud agreements of the lionesses. ella then excitedly follows up with a shout of ‘duck, duck goose’ but nobody else wants to play that. (ella hmu i wanna play duck duck goose with you so bad)
“y/n! if i win, i get to choose your next album cover!”
mary shouts, you smile at her and agree, feeling confident.
(you lost, now you have to explain to your band mates that mary earp’s is in charge of your next album cover.)
867 notes · View notes
wh0re43van · 4 months
Note
You are great writer! Stumbled on that on set Evan fic and it was soooo good 🔥 Lol, I actually do work on set and you really captured the atmosphere tbh. Keep it up!
Not sure if you’re open to requests rn, but I would love your take on Evan and his partner trying to make a baby for the first time. He just seems so sweet and I’d love to think of this man in a happy marriage, daydreaming about little feet running around.
Thank you so much! I truly appreciate your kind words <33
So, I decided to make this two parts. This first part is just fluff, the readers get to see Evan in kind of a paternal role in this part, baby making will be in the next, I hope you enjoy!
Also ngl, I had this done for a couple of days now, I just couldn’t think of a title :/ so sorry about that. I’m awful with titles smh
Baby fever (Evan Peters X Reader) Pt. 1
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Summary: While babysitting for Evans brother, you realize that you’re finally ready to have a baby, much to your husbands delight.
Word count: 2.2k
Warnings: none in this part ;)
Pt2 Pt3
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“Thank you again, I know it’s a bit short notice, “ Evans brother, Andrew, says as he closes the door behind him to step out onto the dim front porch with Evan, his daughter Ellie, and myself.
“Dude, It’s no problem really!” Even smiles, laying a gentle hand on his brother’s shoulder. “It’s always a joy having Ellie around,” he grunts as he picks up her small ‘Peppa Pig’ suitcase and her car seat.
“Yeah, Dad! They love me!” Ellie giggles as she grabs onto my arm. I smile at her snaggle toothed grin. The yellow light of the porch reflecting off her dark hair, making her curly pig tails look golden.
“They’re right Andrew,” I reiterate as we all begin to walk to Evans car, Ellie’s small hand in mine while the crickets chirp their evening song. “Now you go inside and help the Mrs. pack for your..uh.. trip. We’ve got it from here, “ I give Andrew a sympathetic smile, taking Ellie’s sippy cup out of his hand.
Andrews wife’s mother has been rushed to the hospital just a few hours ago and the couple is driving through the night to be there with her. They haven’t told Ellie the reason for the trip, all she knows is that she’s spending the weekend with Auntie y/n and Uncle Evan.
“Be sure to call me if you need anything or if Ellie just wants to talk, bye sweetie,” Andrew picks up his daughter, giving her kiss on the head.
“I love you daddy,” she giggles hugging him back quickly before trying to escape his embrace. “Let me down! I wanna go to Uncle Evans!” She Kicks her small light up sneakers, flashes of purple and red glow on the concrete as her feet hit the ground. Andrew just laughs. Thanking us again before making his way inside.
“Give me the suitcase babe, I’ll throw it in the back,” I take the pink bag out of Evans arms, walking to the trunk to toss it in.
I make my way around the vehicle to see Evan bent over struggling to get the carseat hooked in as Ellie hangs on his leg, both of them erupting in giggles.
“Ellie I can’t get this carseat in with you climbing all over me like that,” he laughs as he pulls at the locked seatbelt, trying to free it so he can stretch it through the back of the child’s seat. Ellie continues as if she hasn’t heard him, and Evan lets her. I smile at the pure joy beaming from my husband. He loves children dearly; his niece is no exception of course. He’s brought up starting a family of our own many times in the few years we’ve been married, I’ve just never felt quite ready with how much time away his job requires, but now things are slowing down and the idea of having a baby grows on me more every day.
“Now Ellie, how will we ever make it to our house if you don’t let Uncle Evan buckle your seat in?” I ask, giving her a stern look. She considers my statement, then reluctantly trudges over to me, leaning on my leg.
“Oh okay,” she frowns, looking up at me with her big hazel eyes.
“Done! … I think.” Evan exclaims, backing away from the vehicle. I stifle a laugh when I see the crooked car seat that he is ever so proud of. I simply walk up and adjust it before plopping Ellie in the seat and strap her in. Finally, we can go home.
After arriving home, we bring Ellie’s bag in to the room that she’ll be sleeping in, I take her down to the kitchen as Evan goes to change into some sleepwear. It’s a bit late, 7:00 pm and the sun’s already set for the night, but we’ve been informed that Ellie hasn’t had supper yet.
“Okay so you want a grilled cheese, we can do that, but you need to have a veggie as well,” I pick up Ellie and set her on the dining chair. She’s expressed that she wants a grilled cheese and only a grilled cheese. She even briefly tried to convince me that she’s allergic to all vegetables. “We have broccoli,” I pull a head of broccoli out of the fridge and set it on the table.
“Yuck!” The small girl rolls her tired eyes.
“Carrots,” I grab a bunch of fresh carrots, placing them in front of her.
“No way!” She shoves them away from her. I huff.
“Or we have green beans,” I reach into the pantry and set a jar of green beans next to the other veggies.
“Aunt y/n, you’re crazy. No thank you to all of them. Just a grilled cheese please,” she says in disgust, reaching for the bag of bread and block of cheese, sliding the ingredients closer to me.
“Ellie-“ I sigh, admittedly losing some patience.
“Oh wow look at all these super veggies that Aunt y/n has laid out for you. You’re lucky, she’s giving you the special ones,” Evan says coming around the corner, now in his pajamas, as he takes a seat next to his niece.
“What do you mean?” She inquires, raising a small eyebrow.
“Oh she didn’t tell you?” He gasps, shifting his gaze to wink at me. I stifle a laugh.
“These carrots,” he pulls the bunch to him. “They give you night vision.” He explains. Ellie considers his claim.
“What about this one,” she hands him the head of broccoli.
“Oh this? It just gives you super speed, no big deal I guess if you don’t want to be the next quicksilver,” he says nonchalantly, tossing the head of broccoli in between his hands. Ellie gasps, her eyes light up.
“I want this one!” She grabs the green veggie and hands it to me. “Please.” She adds, remembering her manners. I laugh.
“Don’t you want to hear about the green beans?” Evens asks, standing up from his seat.
“No thank you. Super speed please!” She crosses her hands on the table, awaiting her superpowers. Evan takes the broccoli from my grasp, turning to grab a cutting board.
“I got it honey, go upstairs and get ready for bed,” he kisses my forehead. I smile and thank him before making my way to our bedroom.
I change into some comfy pajamas and do my nightly routine of skincare and brushing my teeth before padding down the steps. Before I peak my head around the corner I hear Evan shout,
“One more time… GO!” followed by the quick stomping of tiny feet. I clear the corner to see the furniture pushed out of the way and Ellie hurtling full speed towards me. She runs right into my stomach, nearly knocking the wind out of me.
“Jesus,” I wheeze. Ellie giggles boisterously with a toothless smile.
“I’m sorry Auntie y/n,” she manages to choke out as she falls to the ground in her fit of laughter. I look to my husband with wide eyes, trying to process what happened.
“Hey don’t look at me babe, it was the supper broccoli. Hopefully it will wear off soon,” he says genuinely, putting his hands up in defense. I can’t help but laugh.
I take a moment to admire the sight of my husband standing in his sweatpants and old stained shirt draped loosely on his toned body. His beautiful brown curls that are just a bit overdue for a trim sticking out every which way, yet resting perfectly on his soft features, and his scruff filling in more and more every day that he’s doesn’t shave. The gorgeous man in front of me, smiling from ear to ear with the purest of joy in his chocolate eyes makes my heart sing. He’s truly in his element right now. The elation coming from Ellie and Evan is contagious, I find myself in a fit of laughter as well as Ellie crawls up my legs and onto my back.
“Your turn to race Auntie y/n!” She cheers.
“No, no not tonight honey,” I disappoint her with my response.
“We have to clean up and get you ready for bed,” I walk over to Evan, passing the girl on my back into his grasp. “Which will be Uncle Evans job since he’s the one that wound you up,” I raise my eye brows at him. Ellie happily rests in his arms bridal style, her gummy grin never leaving her face.
“Hey, don’t give me that look,” he begins to walk towards the steps. “You’re the one that gave Ellie speed enhancing veggies,” he reminds me, almost fooling me as well, with how serious his tone and expression are.
I roll my eyes as I turn to put our living room back together.
‘You’d think Evan would know not have a 6 year old run laps around the house half an hour before bedtime.’ I sigh as I push our couch back into place. As irritated as I want to be, I can’t help but feel giddy. Seeing how happy Evan is with Ellie makes my heart swell with joy.  
‘Maybe I will discuss having a baby with him.’ I think to myself as I replace our rug and coffee table back into the center of the room.
‘But having a child isn’t always fun. It’s much different having your own child than babysitting.’ I make note to remind him as I shove our recliner back to its designated spot.
‘And pregnancy can be complicated’ I’ll have to tell him. ‘I hope mine won’t be, but it is something you have to prepare for’ I’ll explain. He’s not the one getting pregnant so I know this may not be something he’ll consider.
I make my way to the kitchen to begin stacking the dishwasher with what little dishes Evan left in the sink before he went to destroying our living room.
‘And what will we do if you get a big job and have to fly halfway across the country while I’m in labor or freshly postpartum?’ I’ll be sure to ask. I begin to make myself nervous considering all my concerns.
‘And what if-‘
“She’s laying down,” Evans comforting voice breaks me from my thoughts. I can hear the smile as he speaks. I don’t even need to look up. “Once I finally convinced her that there is no goblin living in our guest room closet, she crawled right in bed,” his voice gets closer as he moves to wrap his strong arms around my waist, I lean back to rest my head on his shoulder, taking in his familiar scent. I turn to look up at him. I don’t know how his dimples haven’t popped right off his face from how much he’s been smiling this evening.
“Let’s have a baby,” I blurt out, looking into the pure joy glinting in his eyes. The joy turns to shock. He grabs my shoulders, spinning me around so he can search my eyes for any hint of joking. There isn’t any.
“Are you serious y/n?” He asks. The smile now just his jaw dropped to the floor, his eyes wide and his eyebrows raised so high that they’re hidden behind his curls. I chuckle at his reaction, my chest warming at how excited that one sentence has made him.
“Yes,” I simply answer. He matches my smile, pulling me into his chest so tight it almost hurts, but I don’t say anything.
“I want nothing more than that y/n,” he mumbles to the crook of my neck. I wiggle out of his grip enough to meet his gaze, seeing his mahogany eyes glistening. He blinks and a single tear threatens to escape though his long lashes. He reaches a hand up quickly to wipe the happiness attempting to leak from his eye.
“Let’s do it,” I grin. Every doubt, every concern, flying quickly out of my mind. The speech I was going to give him about the dangers and responsibilities of childbearing now long gone after seeing how happy the idea of us having our very own bundle of joy is making Evan.
“I love you so much y/n Peters,” he pulls me into a soft kiss, his lips warm against mine. I reach my hands up to bury my fingers in his curls.
“And I love you Evan Peters,” I smile against his lips. Though this kiss is gentle, but it is easily the most intimate kiss we’ve had. I can feel the adoration with every breath that fans over my face. “I think we should try as soon as Ellie goes home,” I suggest, pulling away from the kiss, resting my forehead on his.
“You wouldn’t reckon my brothers on his way home now, would you?” He jokes as he reaches down to grab my hands. Running his thumbs over my knuckles.
“I’m not even sure they’re out of the state yet Ev,” I smile at my husband. He brings both my hands up to his mouth, kissing each one gently.
“I suppose I can wait,” he sighs. I giggle, grabbing his arm to guide him to our room.
“Let’s check on Ellie one more time, then we can head to bed ourselves,” I whisper as we walk towards the guest room.
“You seriously expect me to be able to sleep, Honey? I feel like a kid on Christmas Eve night,” he flashes his dimples, I roll my eyes and smile at his excitement.
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munsonshire · 7 months
Text
Eddie Munson as your boyfriend
Pairing: Eddie Munson x reader (gender Neutral)
Disclaimer: Eventhough this are some headcanons I might warn you that this is long af
Warning: Use this freely on your fics but pls give credit
Masterlist
He gives the most obvious side eyes ever, You sometimes have to call him out because they are too obvious and he could get in trouble
He will get out of bed quietly when he can't sleep, take his guitar and get out of the bedroom then start playing music loudly
He makes a lot of sarcastic jokes
Will ask you for help when planning his next campaign, and will let you co-lead said campaign as you have also helped
He has this weird obsession with your ass where he will try to grab and squeeze whenever he can (consensual of course)
Contrary to popular belief I don't think that Eddie doesn't care about his hair, I think he does and that those curls aren't as wild as they seem, he makes them look that way, If he didn't then his hair would look even more wild.
When he gets bored he likes to draw on your arms with a marker (erasable).
He always ends up with random scratches, he never knows how but it happens, Sometimes you have to take care of those scratches.
He likes to cuddle with you, and NEEDS to cuddle with you, The poor boy is touch-starved but at the same time, when you touch him too much he can get overstimulated, so he'll tell you when it's enough
All the dice and little figures he has are because he finds them in the floor or somewhere, repaints, and heeps them, he has gifted you so many dice that you now have them all in a jar.
You gifted him a Polaroid camera, and you still don't know if it was a good or bad idea, he will pull that camera whenever he can and take the most horrible pictures of you, like sleeping or similar.
Has struggled with eating disorders in the past, you try to keep an eye on him and make sure that he's eating well but at the same time try not to force him so it doesn't feel like an obligation.
- Okay, so, generally we tend to think of Eddie as this metal guy and so badass, but tbh I see him as the guy that would crouch down and tie your shoelaces if you ask him to or if he sees that they are untied because he doesn't want you to get hurt. Or, if he's in more of a goofy mood he will crouch down and tie your shoelaces together so that you fall, and he obviously has a laughing fit before even thinking of helping you but then he asks you if you're okay and kisses you.
- He's the kind that will surprise you with gifts, those are usually things that you've said you wanted but didn't get because they were too expensive. He's very attentive of your especial interests and wants to get you something with meaning
He gives you his jacket whenever it's cold
He likes to stay in and watch movies and cuddle
Tries his best to comfort you
Likes to play around in the rain with you, you both usually get soaking wet in the rain and end up covered in mud.
When it rains or he just took a shower and his hair is all wet he likes to shake his hair and soak you, he thinks its extremely fun
he holds your face with both hands
likes to kiss the top of your head
After spending so much time together he starts picking up your gestures, habits, and tics even without noticing. But if you pick up one of his habits/tics, like sticking out your tongue when concentrated, he notices it and teases you about it
Likes to get way too close to your face/ear to say something
Very curious about you and your past, he wants to know a lot about you to understand you better
Constantly tells you everything he likes about you
Moves a lot while talking
Lots of LOTR and metal references that he will explain if you don't get them, he never wants you to feel stupid when you two are talking.
Makes you a dnd character in case you ever want to join, which you probably will, considering the amount of time that he's made you sit and watch one of his campaigns and that sometimes you too get too invested in the storylines. This character will appear in the dnd campaigns, even if you don't play, at first the hellfire club members didn't know who this mysterious character was but after meeting you it was so damn obvious
will take you to all the Corroded Coffin rehearsals and little concerts, he likes to dedicate one or two songs to you
likes to mark his territory so if you're talking to someone in the hallway his mf will appear out of nowhere and hug you from behind, leaving a little kiss on your neck, and then leave again, During that interaction he will glare at whoever you're talking to.
if he sits behind you in class, he will spend it kicking your chair to get your attention
he loves making you laugh at his silly jokes
Sneaks through your window whenever he wants, he's hungry? you better have something to eat. Can't sleep? You're gonna be his personal teddy bear. Needs to talk? Now you have a career in psychology, congratulations. Better listen to him when he gets there or he's gonna be throwing rocks at your window all night/day
explains all of dnd to you
Finds hair ties on the floor and gives them to you even if you told him thousands of times that that is not hygienic at all but he ignores you - you still thank him anyway
Likes it when you do his hair
He loves to braid your hair, doesn't really know how but at least he tries
Hugs you from behind, sometimes giving you heart attacks
Sloopy neck kisses, he loves it because it makes you giggle
Likes to hum and sing to you when you can't sleep
He likes to take your hand and trace all the lines in it, then he gives it a little squeeze
Always holds your thigh while driving
Makes you laugh when you're mad at him, that makes you even more mad
He makes a confused face whenever you talk to him about something that he doesn't know about or something he doesn't understand
Has no filter, because he trusts you
If you say you like one of his rings he'd probably give it to you and laugh when he sees that it doesn't fit your fingers. Then he will find some kind of lace to put the ring through it so that you can wear it as a necklace.
Likes to stargaze with you
likes to run his fingers along your skin, especially your back because it makes you shiver
He keeps flirting with you even if you've been dating for the longest time
Loves to pick little fights with you, never serious, just for fun
Would get a tattoo of something that reminds him of you
Asks you to tutor him when he doesn't understand a class, usually math or something like that. Tutoring lessons usually end up with one of you on top of the other while making out
Loves to pull pranks on you and scare you. But he usually gets slapped or something, because idk you but I get aggressive when someone scares me
Will try to teach you how to play guitar
He has the messiest bedhead ever
Hand-holding while sleeping
Puts his hand in your back pocket when you go out together
Comforting each other after nightmares
holds your hand and swings your arms obnoxiously together, he loves to see you laugh and stumble around
He loves your smile and makes you smile at every chance he gets
Venting to each other, asking first obviously.
He puts his hand on your thigh when he drives
He insists on you sitting on his lap, even if there are other chairs to sit
If you ask for one of his shirts and he's in the mood to annoy you he will tell you to take the one he's wearing
- "Eddie, can I have one of your shirts?"
- "Yeah, come and get it"
- "Where is it?"
- "It's on me sweetheart"
- *you look at him confused* "What do you mean?"
- "I mean, take it off me"
- "Eddie..."
- "What? You wanted my shirt"
- "Okay okay, fine, ill take it"
If you have trust issues he's always reassuring you that he loves you. He has abandonment issues so better remind and reassure him that you still love him
Going out dressed up in Halloween. Scaring kids till they pee their pants
He made you a matching guitar pick necklace like the one he has
Hugs you when you're sad
Likes to play fight but if you fight back, he will lose it
Has an irrational fear of doctors/dentists and will throw a tantrum if you take him to one
Bites as a form of showing affection
When it's raining heavily he loves to take you to this one spot in the woods that he calls "his spot" so you both can scream about whatever it is that has been bothering you, Once you feel better you will dance under the rain
He blinks like 100 times before a staring contest and he gets so competitive, he NEEDS to win
If his eyeliner runs and he smears it he will come up with the excuse that it's his new metal way to wear it, just because he's too lazy to take it off and put it on again
Smirks and shrugs when you ask him how he's able to stay up all night and still have energy the rest of the day, he just teases you about not being able to do it yourself
After the attack, whenever you ask to see his scars to know if they are healing he will lift his shirt and hold it between his teeth, mumbling something about how the bruising is fading. And the MF will smirk because he knows that you're having a hard time trying to focus on the scars and not stare at his shirtless torso
Reads his favorite books aloud for you to fall asleep. He LOVES when you fall asleep with him near you because it shows how comfortable and safe you feel around him.
Puts your hair behind your ears and brushes your hair out of your face whenever you're talking with him because he wants to see your face
Likes to ask you for outfit advice, but he just shows up with two almost identical band T-shirts
He loves it when you mess with his hands, like, if you're anxious and take his hand and start playing with his fingers, he loves that shit, and also if you take his rings and put them in your fingers
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lunas-side-anime-blog · 2 months
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aot veteran/104 corp icks bc im back on my bullshit
someone requested AOT veteran icks, they didn't specify nsfw or not so I did both and also added sasha connie and jean bc i luv them:) feel free to message/inbox with requests!
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(levi, erwin, hange, jean, sasha and connie)
Levi
will visit ur place and organize things without you asking. he'd just be like "ur welcome, now your kitchen makes sense" and ur like sir, I don't know where anything is now??? also he'd def the type to proclaim he's better than you for only getting two hours of sleep when you got four. honestly so many icks come to mind for this one, imma limit it to those two for now (stay tuned lol)
nsfw: tries to be rough with you but forgets his own strength. will try to throw you on the bed, but he does it too hard so you completely miss the bed and fall on the other side of it and he's just standing there like "🧍🏻...my bad."
Erwin
you cannot convince me this man doesn't wear water shoes at the pool. you guys say you want a dilf until you actually get one bc this is the type of shit it entails^^
nsfw: erwin cannot dirty talk for shit. im srry but if you're a lil kinky this isn't the man for you. try to call him daddy and he'd be like "we don't have kids?" and you explain the kink to him and he'd just say, "have you considered therapy?🤨" now he's concerned, boner gone, you feel called out, just go to sleep tbh
Hange
they're def a firm believer in natural deodorant and won't take the graceful hints that it's not working. prob wouldn't chill w them on a hot day is all i'm saying
nsfw: feel like they'd be really good in bed tbh like i'm struggling to think of an ick. hange has big dick energy, weirdos just do it better idk. i think maybe hange would try to spit in your mouth (they a freak) and they have so much and its thick and globby like the back of the throat type spit, your gonna choke bro im gagging as a i type-
Jean
bring back toxic masculinity because Jean's hair care routine is so good to the point he'll call out your split ends, i just know it
nsfw: a fucking chatterbox like his homies know everything. you've walked in on him telling connie in extreme detail how he had you in a full nelson last night while you screamed bloody murder and he doesn't see why ur mad. "babe, if anything i'm bragging about you 😏" fucking idiot istg. also kinda gross but I think he's the type to keep sniffing his fingers after fingering you like well into the next day EWW
Sasha
obvi she can't share for shit so I think she'd be an annoying person to eat out with. like yk when you're with your friends and only one person puts their card down so the rest can Venmo them? I think you can ask her to Venmo 20 and she'd send 15 and say something like "oh I didn't eat as many fries" but she fr did. never puts her card down either so believe it or not? jail.
nsfw: will literally be on her phone mid-sex with you. feel like she'd be really into the subway surfer vids and yeah, you go down on her and look up and she brought her own entertainment? ipad child behavior
Connie
i think he'd say "we" when talking about his fave sports team as if he contributed. like, "really connie, you helped win the superbowl? did you score a touchdown?" grow tf up
nsfw: insane bush on this one, i feel like he doesn't groom for shit and whatever, that's your choice! but I also feel like college-aged modern connie would talk shit about women who weren't bald down there and won't eat it unless it is. HYPOCRITE!! I think when he gets to his mid-twenties tho he'd mature (sasha beat his ass)
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jakeyuni · 2 years
Text
ready? set…touchdown! tutor? | s. jaeyun
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“he smiled at you as if you were the only person in the world. unknowingly to you, it’s because you were, in fact, the only person for jake.”
SYNOPSIS › you’d always known jake sim as the unbelievably handsome and smart jock/student that sat next to you in your advanced psychology class. similar to you, jake had always pined over you silently. so what happens when jake becomes your assigned tutor for the very class he’s your seat partner in and when a yearbook editorial feature causes [forces] you to get to know the boy better? complete, and utter, chaos—as the both of you deal through your growing feelings for one another.
PAIRINGS › tutor+football jock!jake x fem!yearbook photographer/editor reader
TROPE › mutual pining, friends + tutor & his tutee —> lovers
GENRES › fluff, slight crack, pretty heavy angst at times !!
WARNINGS › profanity, reader has slight anxiety/self-doubt/insecurity issues, jake is conflicted with his feelings, jake & reader high key suck at communicating which leads to issues, lots of cheesy lines, slow-burn tbh, reader & jake are very smart—y/n is just struggling, most importantly: heartthrob football jake who also doubles as a hot nerd ;)
EXTRAS › i suggest you read because it includes a steamy kiss at the end (pretend to be surprised) + but with a twist ;), oh also because it involves the high school football game experience [like the scene from the hilary duff cinderella movie!].
WORD COUNT › 10.2k+
PLAYLIST › hold on — flor, tek it — cafuné, sunsetz — c.a.s, car crash — eaJ, pluto projector — rex orange county
AUTHOR’S NOTE › goshh i really do hope this fic lives up to your expectations because i’m in love w the final product! enjoy :)
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AT 8 AM SHARP EVERYTHING MORNING, JAKE SIM WOULD STARE AT THE DOOR, AWAITING YOUR ARRIVAL.
he’d observe the entrance of your psychology class every day and hope you weren’t absent. thankfully for him, you didn’t dare miss school unless you were actually sick. which to his delight, was rare. school had always been one of your top priorities, and jake had always admired you for your ambition.
every morning when you walked in, the gust of the wind from the windows open from the opposite side of the classroom would cause your hair to blow as you walked to your seat. a million fireworks would go off in jake’s head, as well as in his heart while he watched you slide into the seat beside him, giving you a nod. you smiled in response every time, even if you weren’t feeling like it that day.
every now and then, if jake was lucky, he’d smoothly slide close enough to you so that his elbow could touch yours. though you never moved upon the contact, you’d take note of how often he’d do it.
likewise, you wished he would never stop. because you were so attracted to jake sim, it sometimes gave you a stomach ache when you stayed up at night, daydreaming about what could maybe one day be.
if only he wasn’t the star quarterback of your school, along with being an insanely smart and sociable person. then you’d maybe think that you’d have a chance with him.
but with all the girls and cheerleaders that flocked around him, seeing him as a mere piece of prey for them to fiend on, you never bothered considering the odds.
oh, but if only you knew that jake wanted you just as much as you did him. perhaps then, you’d be together by now. but that’s not the way this story goes, now does it?
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you swore you were about to throw up or at least faint. you paced the small space of the bathroom stall as you rehearsed your lines over and over again for your interview for the yearbook photo editor position. why did you think it was a good idea to apply for the photo editor position again? oh right, college applications.
you took in deep breaths just as fast as you let them out in an attempt to calm your nerves. feeling content with your less heated state, you pull out your phone to check the time. shit, it’s almost 4. i better head over to the yearbook room.
your walk to the room consists of self pep talk and fixing your blouse to make yourself look presentable. you had to have this position sealed on your transcript. you definitely knew you were capable, but this position was competitive and there were lots of candidates, making you less hopeful.
you walk into the yearbook staff office with your head held high and some of your practice photo shots placed between your torso and arm that you’d taken to show your work and potential to the interviewer—a senior whose position you’d be taking since she decided she had too much on her plate for her last year. this news made for an excessive amount of buzz for the underclassman, considering they all wanted her spot and would give anything for it.
you come face to face with the senior outside of the door, shin ryujin, who recognized you for your promptness almost immediately. ryujin wasted no time in getting down to business while you followed suit, taking a seat in front of the desk.
“alright, ms.y/l/n. tell me a bit about yourself. what made you want this position in yearbook out of all the organizations?”
you took in a sharp breath and smiled wide. “well, for one, i’ve been looking forward to becoming a part of the program for a while now and am thankful for being given a chance to book an interview with you. as you can see my grades are quite high and i’ve been trying to maintain my GPA. i thought trying something new would make me a better communicator and become more known to the school as a whole,” your breath wavers as the senior makes no effort to communicate any sort of note that she was listening to you—you just hoped that she was.
“i see. well, it’s nice to know that you’re smart and you seem to be quite productive. also, i like the perspective you add to your photos. the editing is pleasing to look at, too,” ryujin explains as she shuffles and switches between your transcript and photo shots simultaneously. “consider yourself to be near the top of my list. i’ll keep you in mind, y/n.”
that’s it? you thought. no further questions were asked as you bid your goodbyes and thanked ryujin for her time, which seemed to be none at all. 10 minutes was the amount of time your interview had occupied. and it was 10 minutes later when ryujin called you while you were walking dreadfully on your way home.
you remember freezing on the spot as ryujin told you that you were her last applicant interview and you by far, had made the best impression on her; meaning that you were actually a part of yearbook. this was real, this was happening, and you fought the urge to squeal improperly loud on the sidewalk for all your neighbors to hear.
to ryujin, it was simple. but now that you had the actual job of being the photo editor, your head began spinning. fuck, i didn’t actually think i’d get the position. nonetheless, you were full of glee. or, well, that was until you came home to multiple emails from ryujin bombarding you with your yearbook schedule and duties as well as events to attend to for the month. it was then that you realized how busy the next few months were going to be; you were in for one hell of a ride—to say the least.
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“your grades are declining. what’s going on with you?” you felt like you were being scolded by your mother. you honestly didn’t know how it could happen, especially with your work ethic. how hard could balancing work, homework, clubs, and yearbook be? it sounded easy enough, right?
absolutely not, as it turned out. now you were sitting at the very desk you’d sat in for your interview two weeks earlier. except this time, you were experiencing different kinds of nerves, the type that made your heart sink into your chest, making you want to curl into a ball and disappear. ryujin’s death stare wasn’t helping either.
was it shame? no. guilt? perhaps. truthfully, you’d never had a ‘D’ in a class, ever. you’d never come to such a low point and swore you never would.
considering the end of the first semester was near, you couldn’t lock in your first senior year grade for advanced psychology with a ‘D’ permanently taunting you on your transcript. absolutely not. you knew things had to change—as did ryujin. you could tell by the way she leaned her elbows further down the desk, slightly frustrated. “i asked you a question, y/n.”
“yeah, no, i’m fine. it’s just that trying to find the time and balance between everything with yearbook was harder than i expected,” you don’t meet ryujin’s eyes that you’re sure are shooting daggers at you.
she scoffs. “you knew exactly what you were getting into the moment you walked in this room. don’t give me that ‘it’s too much for me to handle b.s.’ do you know how lucky you were to be selected? out of all the people that applied? it’s a shame that your grades are what they’ve become at the moment. you know that yours were the best out of all the applicants; though—your pictures need work, still. you can’t excuse your laziness, y/n.”
now, you were just angry. bitterness swept your tongue and seeped through your veins as you finally looked at ryujin. how dare she call you ‘lazy.’ you were everything but that—obviously because you wouldn’t have been chosen if you were so. you just needed help. and there was nothing wrong with receiving some when you actually needed it.
why was ryujin acting all high and mighty when she withdrawled from her position because she was tired? hypocrisy at its finest. sure, you’re one to be stubborn and prefer working independently, but you supposed things would have to change.
“i’m sorry. i know. i’m doing my best to make my grades and habits better. i’ll stay up later to study extra hard. i swear i’m doing the most i can, i’m just struggling,” you swipe your tongue over your lip in hopes to calm yourself down.
ryujin hums in response and goes to pull a file out of her desk drawer, slapping it onto the desk abruptly. you slightly jump as you scan the salmon-colored file; a familiar boy’s picture—laminated with his name in bold, is pasted on the flimsy yet heavy folder.
“this, is jake sim’s file. he’s at the top of your advanced psychology class and he’s going to be tutoring you from now on. i already asked your teacher for permission. ms.jung informed me that he’s your seat partner too, so i assume you’ll have no trouble getting along. jake said yes to tutoring you already. you have no exceptions, this is mandatory if you want to keep your position.”
you don’t answer ryujin, lost in your own thoughts. call it bad karmic luck or the universe doing you a possible favor. jake sim tutoring you? no way. not real. nothing’s real. what the fu-
“y/n. i’m serious about this. if you want to hold your position as photo editor and photographer, this is important. we can’t have someone with a D in any class on the yearbook staff, it puts no good to our name or brand.” a mocking laugh escapes her mouth. “if we allowed such mediocrity, then everyone would think they have a chance at making the team.”
okay, now that stung a little. “i’m completely aware. yes, i’m okay with jake tutoring me. do you know the details of it all?” you ask, now playing with the metal of your rings in an attempt to distract the images that were captivating your brain of you dragging ryujin by her perfectly poised hair.
“you mean the meet-up dates and everything?”
“yes, as in the timings and whether or not our schedules line up.”
you can practically hear the way ryujin rolls her eyes at you. “that’s for you and jake to figure out amongst yourselves, not my job. i’m doing enough as it is. this meeting is longer than i anticipated it to be, too.” she stands up and raises her eyebrows at you, wordlessly motioning for you to follow suit.
you measly get up and greet her goodbye while fighting the urge to get mouthy. there was no use in defying the help you very much needed. why were you so upset about jake tutoring you, anyway? wasn’t this all you’ve ever wanted, some one-on-one time with your year-long crush? you shrugged off the wavering nerves that weighed down your shoulders thanks to ryujin’s sternness and went to your locker. just as you were about to slam your locker shut, you hear the footsteps of someone approaching you.
“hey, y/n,” you feel a hand touch your shoulder and tense up; the voice, however, is one you could single out in a crowd of people in an instant. it was jake’s.
you slam your locker shut and turn around, instantly being met with the very boy you knew it would be. his hair was slightly tousled and wet, it was obvious he’d just finished football practice and showered. he carried a book that read ‘AP PSYCHOLOGY’ on the front. and god, his smile. he smiled at you as if you were the only person in the world. unknowingly to you, it’s because you were, in fact, the only person for jake.
you mirror his toothy smile, “hey jake.”
“so..” he starts off hesitantly as you tilt your head. “you know i’m your tutor for psych, yeah?”
you exhale through your nose and raise your eyebrows, “yeah, i’m fully aware of that. but when did ms.jung ask you to tutor me?”
“just this morning before class, actually.” he pauses as he motions for you to start walking with him. you follow regardless of where he’s taking you. “sorry i didn’t tell you this morning. i would’ve but we were taking notes all period.”
“it’s fine, really. i’m just embarrassed i need tutoring to begin with. i’ve never struggled so much and well…ryujin said i can’t be on yearbook anymore if i don’t get my grade up asap.”
“there’s nothing wrong with needing help, y/n. i’m also your seat partner and friend, not just your newly-assigned tutor.” you slightly nudge at his side with your elbow and he chuckles. “are you okay to be tutored right now or do you have somewhere to be?” the two of you come to a halt at the front steps of the library.
you sigh and jake looks at you questionably, his hand barely grazing the door handle of the school library. you look at him and see that his eyebrows are risen, anticipating your response. “i don’t see why not?”
“you don’t seem so sure of yourself.”
“no, i am. i’m just tired is all,” you lie straight through your teeth. tired wasn’t the right word to describe the tingly sensation you felt both in your heart and stomach—at all. you were actually very much awake now; about to be tutored by the jake sim is a fantasy only so many girls have most likely envisioned in their heads every night. the same could be said for you, and that’s exactly why it was taking everything in you to not run in the opposite direction. you were nervous, but jake didn’t have to know that.
“mkay then, shall we?” jake swings open the door and you clutch onto the straps of your backpack, hoping that jake would pinch you so you’d wake up from this dream.
***
two hours later and you were on the edge and perhaps on the brink of exploding. at one point, jake had to physically grab your hand to stop you from breaking your pencil (which gave you such grand butterflies you had to put your head down)—jake assumed it was because you needed a mental break, when in reality, you were dying of embarrassment. you couldn’t even hold eye contact with him properly.
frustrated, was an understatement. “i’m not getting this. i seriously don’t know why they’re so many variations of the same word and why i have to memorize the singular definitions of them all. this is so…pointless,” you whine.
“hey, hey, it’s alright. we can come back to this later. maybe you need to take a break.” jake was so patient with you it only made your heart beat faster than it already was. or maybe it was the energy drink jake gave you from the vending machine during your first break so you could power through the rest of the tutoring session. albeit, you’d never know which.
“no! i can do this. i just need to take a breather.” you stare down at the myriad of words on the slightly crumbled paper and groan, putting your head down for the second time that evening.
jake gets up and sits in the chair beside you, you lift your head at the sound of the movement only to have your head roughly meet his shoulder. “ow, that kinda hurt.”
“sorry,” he chuckles before rubbing the top of your head mindfully as you fix the stray strands of hair, your fingers touching his ever so slightly, “just thought i could help you better if i were closer to you,” he shrugs. oh no, your heart was beating fast again. but it’s just the energy drink, you tell yourself. sure, yeah, that’s all it was.
“i agree.” you snatch the paper out of jake’s hand, determined to finish studying the vocab list you were assigned to study this morning; you had a quiz on the words tomorrow. jake huffs at your action and smiles while he watches you rewrite and reread the words over and over again. he props his chin into his hand and idly admired you as you glance at him every now and then to ensure your work is correct, and every time the brown-haired boy acknowledged your silent yet needy look of reassurance, he would bob his head in your direction, humming in compliance.
each time jake fueled your brewing feelings that you’d shoved deep inside the depths of your brain—and heart with his small gestures and slight touches, you grew more fond of him, and you wanted to make the boy proud. and if proud meant that he’d smile at you every time you whined or recalled a story of something dumb that happened in class out of elation, you’d take any given opportunity to study with jake.
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okay, so maybe you didn’t study hard enough. the big fat ‘C’ written in red ink at the top of your vocab quiz was taunting you, and the way ms.jung had shaken her head at you before handing the paper with an ‘A’ written at the top—to jake, only made you feel worse about yourself.
jake reassuringly rubbed your shoulder and threw you a small smile, mouthing an ‘it’s okay, tutoring later today, hm?’ to which you simply nodded before slumping in your seat for the remainder of the period, tuning out every word that came out of ms.jung’s mouth.
“i studied for three hours with you yesterday, then went home and studied for another one hour by myself. this can’t be possible,” you groan, now sat at your signature tutor-session seat at the library, jake by your side as he bounces his leg up and down out of habit.
“i know but maybe we need to find the most effective method for you to remember information. clearly what we practiced yesterday wasn’t very useful, and that’s alright. progress takes time,” jake beams, motioning with his hands to emphasize that it was normal for there to be academic obstacles—though it didn’t feel that way for you, especially considering your history of continuous high grades and accomplishments.
his positive attitude was in stark contrast to your own and it would annoy you if it weren’t for the fact that he was the one saying all the words.
“mkay, you’re right jake. thank you.” you drag a small smile before pulling out your supplies and thinking of a new study method to use for your next vocab quiz—which was also tomorrow.
jake sits next to you, giving you hums of approval and squeezing your shoulders everytime you repeat a definition to him correctly. the way you slightly flinch and become stiff whenever jake touches you is quite embarrassing and you silently pray that he doesn’t say anything about your body language. oh, but he does.
“is everything good?”
“yup,” you emphasize by popping the last letter, “everything’s just fine.” desperate to ease the weird tension, you needed to change the subject. you figured that now was the perfect time to ask jake about yearbook.
“hey jake, i have to do this photo spread for the school sports section, and was wondering if you’d want to be featured in it? i’d have to interview first, though.” you turn your body so it’s facing jake directly, your knees now touching—jake doesn’t budge an inch, to your surprise. but then again, he never did when your elbows touched during class. yet maybe you needed to backtrack a bit, you’re aware jake’s normally this touchy with all his friends. but if that was the case, then why do the touches feel so different and so much more intimate?
jake’s eyes turn into tiny crescents as he grips your wrists out of joy, “really y/n? you’d do that for me?” he looks like a puppy about to be given a treat and you can’t help but giggle at the sight.
“of course, jake. people like you…like a lot, anyways. plus, consider your feature as a way of me saying ‘thank you’ for tutoring me. it’s a small gesture to begin with and you deserve this.” jake didn’t have to know that the yearbook journalist of the team tore her acl and was on temporary leave—(perks of being a soccer athlete and yearbook writer), meaning that now you had the duty of writing for the athletics’ feature page on top of your tremendous workload and tutoring sessions. how fun! choosing to feature jake specifically, however, was your doing.
the boy lowers his head at the kindness of your words and looks up at you, biting his lip. it’s only when you feel your body heating up that you realize that jake hasn’t loosened his grip on your wrists, causing you to look down at the source of contact. “oh, i’m so sorry,” he begins to panic a little. embarrassed, he starts to retreat his fingers, but you had other plans in mind.
you shake your head to let him know you didn’t want him to pull away, at least not yet, letting out a taut laugh and pulling his hands back. only this time, he holds your hands inside his own, bringing them to rest in his lap. “you have soft hands, jake,” you blurt out. the undeniable tension was deafening and you had to say something.
jake’s throat goes numb and he knows he’s a goner. he never knew why any ounce of game he had vanished whenever he was around you. you blew all the air out of him every time you would: chew on the end of your pencil, play with your hair when you were bored or confused, make intense eye contact with him—showing him you were paying complete attention to his notions. or just in general, whatever you did made his heart rate pick up. you were utterly breathtaking, he just wished he could say it to you without feeling like the world would topple over every time he tried to do so.
“thanks…i moisturize.” jake wanted to dash out the building. i moisturize? really jake? could you be any more awkward?
you laugh again, lightheartedly, and pull your hands away; jake thinks he’s lost every shred of a chance he had with you because of how idiotically vague his answer was. he honestly had no idea where his flirty demeanor went whenever he was with you as of late. given the situation though, you knew he was nervous by the redness of his cheeks and ears and so were you—you were just better at hiding it.
with that, you continued your session. the entire time you wondered if jake would ever hold your hands again. you hoped he would, but you were torn. his response irked you a bit. it was unlike him: dry and awkward. you knew you’d be thinking about this for the rest of the week.
you know what else you’d be thinking about the rest of the week? jake sim inviting you to do the interview for his yearbook feature…in his own room…which is in his house.
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fuck, fuck, fuck, no i can’t do this. you didn’t think jake would go as far to invite you to his house.
you were trying your best to not get attached to the star quarterback of the football team—but jake was making not catching feelings increasingly difficult for you. especially considering he was known to not be a player, despite every person to exist throwing themselves at him, jake had morals and priorities that didn’t concern being in a relationship; plus, you recall the time he’d casually told you during class that he was looking for something real, something raw, something long-term. back then, you’d brushed off the tmi that he’d nonchalantly said as if it didn’t matter. if only you knew how much that minuscule piece of information mattered to you now.
that’s when you knew why jake was unlike all the other jocks. not just because he was one of the most dorkiest nerds you’d ever met, but because he had a heart made of gold and a smile that could rid of all the evil in the world.
regardless, you didn’t want to feel the way you did—and it pained you that were unable to stop jake from occupying every corner of your brain. what pained you most, however, was the fact that you doubted he’d actually want to be in a relationship with you due to his commitment to school, football, and extracurriculars. thinking about the boy, most days, was a chore.
as of now, you were sitting cross-legged on jake’s bed with him beside you: notebook in hand and voice recording app open while jake clears his throat to prepare for his interview.
“this is y/n y/l/n recording, photo editor and newly assigned temporary writer for the school’s yearbook, and i am here today with jake sim—star quarterback of the football team and one of the star students of our school, to interview him regarding his educational and athletic dynamics.”
jake’s eyes bore into yours and you can tell he’s nervous—his lips are redder than before, courtesy of all the biting he was doing to them while you were talking.
when he began speaking, the way the words rolled off his tongue made you swoon. you felt sort of culpable about it, the time and place was most inappropriate for you to be ogling jake. you couldn’t help it, though. but really, could you even be blamed? the way his white tee hung loosely over his broad shoulders, his glasses perked up on the bridge of his nose, and the way his eyes would narrow every time he spoke about a narrative that he was especially passionate or knowledgeable about, caused you to internally groan.
“…i suppose balancing my academic schedule with my athletic schedule can be a bit difficult at times, but it’s all about the mindset i keep to help myself pave my way to success. yet, of course, balance is everything to me and i wouldn’t be capable without my friends, family, and peers by my side. thank you.” jake smiles at you and rolls back onto the bed as he finishes off the interview, kicking his legs up in excitement and satisfaction like a little kid.
“woah, that was…amazing jake. thank you for saying so much and opening up to me, i have so much to use from this interview,” you let out a heavy sigh, “—i hope i won’t disappoint.”
jake scoffs, “y/n don’t say stuff like that, you could never disappoint me.” he stands up from the bed and sticks out his hand, “down to go eat something? you should have dinner here.”
you sucked in a breath. what happened to the shy and awkward jake that could barely maintain eye contact with you at the library when you held hands? “sure, i would absolutely love to.”
***
dinner with jake was beyond amazing. he even went as far as to pull out the dining chair for you before the two of you began eating the sandwiches jake whipped up. the both of you would alternate between cracking terrible jokes, talking about school, and simply chewing in silence while stealing fleeting glances at each other. the tension was occupying every vessel in your bodies; both of you could feel it.
it’s when you stood behind jake as he washed the dishes, and when he turned back to cheekily smile at you, that you knew you loved jake sim. it may have seemed crazy and too rushed to anyone else, but you knew your heart better than anyone else; you knew the moment you laid eyes on jake on the first day of class, he wasn’t just some boy, he was special. you loved him for more than just his looks or his social status, you loved him because there was never a moment where anything felt unauthentic, nor a moment where you regretted being with him.
similarly, jake had been infatuated with you ever since he saw you walk into class, sitting beside him—out of all the other seats you could’ve chosen. that day, he promised to himself that he’d wait for you every day, even if it meant waiting an eternity.
the day ms.jung asked him to tutor you, he vowed to himself that he’d do anything to get to know you better, to build a relationship with you. because jake sim had one thing in his mind: you.
it would’ve killed him to not make something more from what had already begun brewing; he was determined to ask you about what had been spiraling in his mind. later tonight, i’ll do it later.
***
jake had offered to walk you home after dinner and he knew it was the perfect opportunity to talk about his feelings with you. you’d conversed with him for a good hour before you received a phone call from your mother: asking you to come home since it was dark out now and she was worried about how you’d get home. you opened up to him about your life, and he allayed you as if he knew you like the back of his hand.
your way home was mainly silent, with jake clearing his throat every now and then—while you stared at the ground, chewing on the inside of your cheek, your shoulder touching his as you strolled through the dimly lit streets.
“hey y/n, can we talk about…us?” jake inquired as he slowed down his pace, stopping in front of one of the lamp posts.
“us?” you didn’t know what he meant by that. was it good? was it bad? jake gives you a faint smile and your shoulders become less tense. “sure, you can talk to me about anything jake, you know that.”
“i just, don’t know what we are, and it’s confusing me.” his voice hitches and you step closer towards him.
“well, what do you want us to be?”
“that’s the thing, i don’t know. i’ve never felt this way about anyone before. i’ve always been so focused on being the leader, the quarterback, keeping up with clubs and school in general, to please my parents and to make sure i don’t let my team down—“ he looks at the ground, defeated. “—that i don’t know how to distinguish between if what i’m doing is for myself or if it’s really just to satisfy other people. i’m…torn.” he quirks his head to the side at the last word as if he’s asking himself a question.
you sigh and motion for jake to continue walking. he’d never been this vulnerable; always the golden boy that never lets anyone see him at the lowest of moments. you didn’t know he felt so strongly about all this. that he felt so strongly about…you. “i’m sorry you feel so much pressure on yourself, jake. you know there’s no harm in putting yourself first. i’m here for you, and, we can figure out whatever we are as we go. none of it has to be sudden.”
“yeah, i’m still figuring myself out, i think i need to know what i want before i go into something completely confused. i don’t want to risk what we have by messing things up for us just because of how many priorities i have.”
“oh, i see,” you murmur.
you didn’t realize when you reached your home, but jake’s words were incessantly echoing in your head with every step taken. you assumed he meant that you weren’t one of, nor his—priority, at least that’s what it felt like at the moment.
one thing was for sure, jake felt even more defeated than before. this was new territory for him, and he was overwhelmed. as for you? you merely spared him a smile and a wee ‘thank you’ before you dragged yourself inside. did i just get rejected?
your lack of words as jake dropped you off was daunting, he wanted nothing more than to be with you. he realized as he walked himself home, that he was in fact, having an epiphany: he was a confused idiot that needed to figure himself and his feelings out, quick—before he lost you for good.
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“if you know you really like her, you need to stop leading her on. it’s shitty of you to do that, jake. you know that,” sunghoon, jake’s best friend, sternly tells him.
the two boys were sitting at the library: jake sitting across from sunghoon, and sunghoon sitting in the seat that you usually occupied during your tutoring sessions.
“i know, i know. i just,” jake lifts his head up in frustration, staring up at the ceiling before he lets out a soft groan, “i like her so much and we talked about our feelings like i told you, but i couldn’t just tell her that i’m not ready to get into something serious yet because football season isn’t over. i would’ve sounded like such a douche!”
sunghoon lets out a wheezy laugh. “you’re fucking with me, right? that’s the reason why you’re not ready to be with her just yet?”
“no…well, partially? our tutoring sessions have been going well and she’s so smart, obviously—she’s just struggling with this particular unit. it’s not even that-“
the other cuts him off, raising an eyebrow at the boy, “get to the point. then what is it?”
“it’s my dad. he’s been on my ass about football because the next game is a big one and it’s also the last one of the season, we made the championships which means there are going to be scouts there. all my dad does is talk about football—and my mom is focused on my grades so much it’s suffocating—the both of them are absolutely insufferable most of the time,” jake mewls.
“jake,” the former starts off softly, “you know how fucking capable you are. you’re the smartest guy i know. don’t let your parents and their nagging get in the way of something you for once in your life—know for a fact you 100% want.”
it was as if jake had been struck with a bolt of lightning. a bolt that—in the very split second of sunghoon’s words turning into a mere echo, all the doubts he had about pursuing you, had vanished and turned into nothing but absolute dust.
jake got up from his seat with an urge to run to you, to tell you he loves you and wants nothing more than to be with you—but he knew he couldn’t. so instead, he settled on waiting for you to attend your last tutoring session while sunghoon talked with him to ease his mind of all thoughts in his brain that transpired of you.
in truth, you and jake had been conversing normally. well, aside from the fact that the normality of your conversations only regarded the bases of your tutoring sessions. there was still tension, yes. but none of the lingering stares or fleeting touches remained. the both of you stayed holding back from the brink of destruction—the brink of you specifically being brought to your breaking point.
you wanted nothing more than to grab jake by his shirt and slap him silly—or possibly also grab him by his shirt and kiss him. you truly weren’t sure which you craved more. because, sure, jake did partly break your heart when he left you hanging and feeling sour the night he walked you home, but that didn’t mean your mind halted all thoughts about him entirely. if anything, the lack of communication made you want him more than you’d ever wanted him before. and you weren’t quite sure that this was the way you were supposed to be feeling—given the situation at hand.
funny, right? the way space between two individuals is supposed to make them think about their relationship, let them think about themselves, and grow. but in your case, as well as jake’s, the prolonged space only made the two of you crave each other more—ignited the fire between your bodies even more.
the unspeakable tension never eased, even if you weren’t making mindless conversation with the other or making eye contact that made you both embarrassing heat up the way you once did.
as you sat with jake for your last tutoring session with him, you caught him glancing at you, feeling a pair of eyes boring into your skull, and you suddenly felt tense, insecure. all the feelings and doubts of even liking him were resurfacing in that very moment, making you feel ill.
you swallow thickly. “can i help you?”
“yeah—no, sorry. just thinking,” jake shakes his head at the stumbling of his own words.
“about?”
“us.”
“oh,” your eyes drop down to the pencil you’re holding.
“i feel like the way i left you hanging the other night wasn’t the way i intended our conversation to go,” he breathes out.
you dryly laugh. “yeah, well what happened..is in the past now.” you clear your throat, unsure of whether or not you should say what’s on your mind. “you don’t have to entertain me with an apology, jake. you made it clear that you’re not ready, and at this point, i’m not sure if you’ll ever be.”
jake’s eyes widen in remorse and you can’t help but look away from his guilty pupils. “but you see—that’s the thing. i do want you, y/n. i want you so bad. you’re all i ever think about.”
your heart drops, and you feel all tingly inside, but you’re quick to remind yourself that jake’s flattery doesn’t make up for how he’s made you feel in the past. they’re just words, you think.
“i’m not just saying all of this to play with you or lead you on,” he continues.
“if you want me so badly, then why don’t you show me that you truly want me?” your voice breaks, and jake can’t help but usher himself over to you, kneeling down and turning your chair so that you were facing him.
a single tear drops from your eyes and jake’s quick to wipe it away with his hand before cradling your cheek with the same hand, ever so slightly rubbing the flesh using his thumb.
“give me some time, y/n. i’m incredibly preoccupied right now—i know that isn’t an excuse, but i want nothing more than to be with you and make us official. i’ll make this all up to you soon enough. just let the final football game of the season be over, and i’ll show you how much i want you. i promise.”
you let out a weak laugh at the sincerity of his words because you never meant for your last tutoring session with him to be so vulnerable. it was only your last because you now had an A in the class, meaning you didn’t have to rely on jake to tutor you, it’d be a waste of time on both ends. yet, it was ironic, the way you wanted nothing more than to waste away endless hours with jake, talking about absolutely everything and anything. that’s why the thought of this being your last possible chance to communicate with the boy effectively, mattered to you.
that’s also why you were significantly grateful that jake had spoken up first, because though you felt absolute embarrassment from the way the other kids in the library were staring at you and jake, all that mattered to you was that this, in fact, would not be that last time you spoke to jake sim.
you let out a chuckle and crinkle your nose, going to wipe the remainder of your tears with your sleeve, prompting jake to pinch your cheeks as he goes back to sit down in his own seat across from you.
“i understand. i’ll wait for you, jake. as long as it takes, and until you’re ready to give me your undivided attention, i’ll wait.”
“you won’t have to wait long, y/n. and when you think you do, remember my words, mm?” he bites his lip out of curiosity for your answer.
“i will,” you respond before gathering your things and putting them into your bag, “oh, and before i forget, i still have to take pictures of you for yearbook, i wanna be there for you, plus those pictures are going to be the final touch of your editorial feature,” you remind him.
“can’t wait to see your face tomorrow at the game then,” jake teases as he walks with you out of the library.
“you’re seeing my face right now—too, though?”
“what can i say? i can never get enough of you,” he says admirably.
you pretend to gag at his words but the butterflies erupting from your stomach say otherwise. “gross, sim,” you lightly punch his shoulder. “oh, and jake?”
“yeah?”
“thank you for tutoring me, i appreciate you.”
“anything for you, y/n. anything.”
you tsk at his cheesiness but smugly smile as he contemplates his next action before taking your hand in his, insisting to walk you home for the night.
during your chat with the boy on your way home, you feel nothing but absolute content wash over your limbs. staring idly at his shining eyes under the light of the iridescent moon, wondering positively about what the future for the two of you holds; thankful that the bad note you two left on, was now restored.
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it was game day, and you were nervous, to put it lightly. you’d messaged jake earlier, hyping him up and wishing him luck before he went to prepare himself for the big, the last, and by far the most important football game of the season—at least for jake. this game would determine if any scholarships were guaranteed within his near future.
though you were excited about jake and seeing him all passionate with his game face on, you were torn, bittersweet sensations swept through your body as you walked to your school. you put on some slight makeup, your tote bag was filled with your usual items, and your camera was hanging around your neck, secured by the camera strap.
you weren’t quite sure why you were so nervous. perhaps it was the way the conversation in the library you had with jake a couple of days prior went unusually well. you had hope—for you and him. since he’d promised you that he would, at last, make things official and show you how much he truly wants you the moment the game/season ends, you figured that was the source of your panging heart.
nonetheless, you were ready. ready to take the perfect shots of jake as he [hopefully] scores a touchdown, wowing the crowd, the myriad of girls who flaunt themselves at him, and the scouts that were exhilarated to finally see him in action.
you turn the corner of the vastly wide and freshly green field of grass with huge drawn on markers (for the players) using white paint, and find jake throwing the football amongst his teammates. one of them, park jongseong—or jay, as many referred to him, noticed you first, motioning with a dip of his head to jake that you were walking towards them.
jake throws the ball to jay and the former pats him on the back rather playfully, giving him a quick wink, causing the other to shake his head at him before he jogs to meet you. “hey,” he greets with a sparkling grin, “you’re early!”
“yeah i wanted to scope out the scene a bit y’know? plus i figured i’d take some extra candid shots of you and the others practicing before the game starts—so ryujin can get off my back about ‘upping my photography skills,’ or whatever,” you explain.
the boy‘s mouth opens and closes, then opens again before he speaks, as if he were finding just the right words to say to you. you found it quite amusing, and cute. “that’s very studious of you, y/l/n.”
you snicker at his foolishly flirtatious tone, “you know me, the most studious girl ever known to man-kind,” you retort.
jake swings his hands' side to side before interlocking them with yours, “so you’re saying you didn’t come early just because you wanted to wish me good luck on my last game of the season, correct?” he pouts sarcastically.
you roll your eyes in a ridiculing manner, “hmm, i don’t know?” you pretend to contemplate, tapping at your chin playfully. “maybe i am, maybe i’m not…guess you’ll never find out, sim.”
he exhales sassily before tearing the distance between your hands. “guess that means you have some duties to attend to, hm?”
“no, no! i can stay for a bit…for you—too, before you have to go,” you mumble.
the boy holds one of your hands once again, reaching for your head and tucking a stray strand of hair behind your ear that was blocking your face due to the wind. your mouth went agape and curved into a line, unable to form coherent words due to jake’s intents, causing you to stare at the sky out of sudden false curiosity; the clouds looked particularly stormy and mundane, unlike earlier. the seemingly windy weather wasn’t expected, which is why you made a discerning sound.
jake follows your movements, similarly staring at the grey sky. “looks like it might rain,” he huffs, slightly agitated. “i’m hoping it doesn’t—as much as i love the rain, it could ruin my chances for tonight.”
“yeah, it could. don’t worry though,” you beam. “you’ll crush it no matter what. you always do.”
a distant call of jake’s name is heard a couple of meters away, both you and the boy turn to make out that jay and sunghoon stand beckoning for jake to join them in the lockeroom and get into his uniform.
jake ruffles your hair in a childish manner at the disappointment that protrudes your features. “i gotta go, but i’ll see you out in the bleachers, mkay? make sure you get a good seat! i want you to be the first person i see when i score that touchdown,” he winks at you as he jogs backward for a bit until he disappears into the field to meet with the guys.
you were left a blushing mess, jake always managed to leave you in disarray. you couldn’t say you didn’t like the way he made you feel, though. you’d give your all to feel the way you do when you’re with jake every day, if you could.
you prompted on visiting your locker and taking pictures with your camera of the posters that showcased the football team players, advertising for everyone to attend the final game of the season. you smiled to yourself when your eyes settled upon jake, yet kept moving around the school tentatively before you realized that you’d better head back to the bleachers and get a good seat. you wanted to see jake from one of the higher levels of the bleachers, just as he wanted you to be, directly in his line of sight, too.
***
a crowd of bustling and noisy students surround you as you stay seated on the perfect spot in the bleachers. the thrumming music and thumping drums of your school’s band is echoing throughout the stadium as they play the school’s arrangement of any football game, and you can’t help but feel giddy inside. high school football games were always an event of their own, an event that everyone constantly spoke about and fancied getting extravagantly ready for. tonight, was no different.
girls wore shimmering eyeshadow sparkling on their eyelids that reflected brightly every time the colored lights hit them, and colored variations of paint neatly striped over their cheeks to show school spirit. you, too, wore sparkly eyeshadow and had a bandanna that displayed your school’s official colors securely wrapped around your thigh. it was preppy, the entire vibe of the scene that unfolded in front of your eyes.
your nerves were jolting with glee as soon as the band’s music crescendoed with the football team that came running from the side of the field from the locker room and tore through the banner that was made for them, with jake in front—as he was their star quarterback.
you grin to yourself when eavesdropping on the endless chatter of girls talking about how hot jake looked and how they’d give anything to be with him. you didn’t bother to be jealous, not just because he wasn’t quite yours yet, but because you knew you had something especially intimate with jake that they did not; you were sure of it.
you tune out the excess voices and focus on jake, watching his every move as he and his teammates huddle in the middle of the field and perform their usual group chant before parting ways to their designated places on the field.
your eyes rake over jake’s form as you watch him assemble to his position, the timer still has a bit of time left until the buzzer sounds to commence the start of the game, and you watch jake rise out of his position a little as he notably wanders his eyes through the crowd in the bleachers—until he finally finds your figure. you make eye contact with the boy and cheekily nod your head at him so he’s aware you’ve noticed him. in response, the boy does the same and bites his lip coyly before getting on his knees so that he’s properly in position.
you overhear some people murmur your name and you’re sure they’ve noticed the silent interaction between you and jake, yet you remain unbothered and keenly prideful, nonchalantly cracking your neck side to side to give them all a little show.
“[TEN]-HUT,” shouts the coach right as the buzzer sounds and that’s when you know, the game has begun.
you truly don’t know much about football, just that it revolves around a bunch of guys tackling each other—or something of the sort (?). nonetheless, you remind yourself that you’re here to take pictures of jake for his feature, and get some close-up shots of your school’s dance team, as well as cheer during the halftime performance.
your estimate is that you could get some high-quality shots of jake as he paces around his spot in the field, jutting around not as fast as he’d be when he’s running, and your mind lives up to its words.
you manage to snap some ethereal shots of jake with his sweat glistening and hair that’s adorned to his forehead and sticking out a bit despite the heavy helmet that covers his countenance.
halftime rolls around and you jump down from your seat in the bleachers to take some up-close shots of the dancers with their bedazzled uniforms and of the band playing, before returning to your seat, anticipating jake to make his touchdown sometime soon; you could see the scouts discussing amongst themselves a couple of meters below you, and an unsettling feeling made home in your stomach. you couldn’t imagine how jake might’ve been feeling.
right as halftime ends and you get a glimpse of jake and his teammates rolling into the field for the second half of the game after replenishing their bodies. the boys on defense are doing especially well and you feel elated for what’s to come.
it’s been a bit, however, and the game is nearing its end, you snap one last shot of jake right before he goes to snatch the ball out of the opposing teams’ player’s reach and makes a beeline for the marker checkpoint he needs to get to before he can score a touchdown—he looked absolutely breathtaking with his mouth agape and face slightly scrunched up in focus.
you lift off of your seat in preparation for jake’s victory, and he makes it—jake leads his team to triumph.
screams erupt from the crowd of students around you as they all jump onto their feet, moments after jake kicks the ball. your eyes locate downward towards the scouts and you see them talking abruptly with joy written all over their faces; a huge smile of your own breaks out on your face, and you’re relieved. what you don’t expect with all the commotion that surrounds you, is the rain that starts abruptly pouring.
sounds of groans fill the air as a good amount of students clatter amongst themselves to find immediate shelter from the rain, but you couldn’t care less, all you cared about was your boy.
you, too, jump out of your seat after the shock of what’s happening washes over your body a bit, but it only heightens as you watch jake throw off his helmet onto the grass and run to you with all the energy that his body has left to give.
he’s sweaty, he’s tired, he’s drenched with rainwater, and his mind is in a whirl of how he truly just made a touchdown, but all he can think about is you.
you don’t have time to process the way jake ignores the ridiculously loud remarks of congratulations the scouts throw at jake as he speeds past them, nor can you see straight when you realize that jake has run up the stairs of the bleachers and is now standing right in the tight space in front of you.
jake doesn’t care that the majority of students are watching him—and now you, nor does he focus on the fact that the both of you are soaked. his eyes flicker once to your lips then twice, yours alternate between his eyes and his lips, smiling when he wraps an arm around your waist and tilts your head up to look at him directly with the other.
you lightly pant and begin to match the rising of his chest, your mouth opens and you’re left speechless. “jake?”
you say his name as if it’s the last time you’d speak of it again, and he takes his chance, he takes it as confirmation for all that he’s ever witnessed between the both of you.
the moment jake’s lips meet yours, you swear your heart stops, all background noise becomes a blur as jake’s lips feverishly chase your own. his grip on your waist tightens and your chests collide as his hand travels further up your face, cupping your jaw. you’re left in awe as he quickly slides his tongue into your mouth when you gasp at the intensity of the kiss and the atmosphere, bodies hot with passion, the rain adding to the aura of fictionality as the droplets stick to your hair and drop down to the space where your lips connect.
your noses constantly brush over each other as jake slightly bites down on your bottom lip and holds your jaw in place so he can feel you like he’s been dying to do ever since he'd laid eyes on you. you stay there, kissing him back softly when he halts the sinking of his teeth from your lips and gives you a few soft pecks. you’re stunned and breathless, gasping after he parts from you.
as soon as he separates, you break out into one of the widest smiles known to your muscles. jake reciprocates your same smile and grabs a hold of your waist with both hands, yours balancing your body on his shoulders as you rest your forehead against jake’s. his smile never fades, and neither does yours.
“wow,” you drag out. “that was…insane, and definitely one way of showing me that you want me.”
the boy laughs breathily, “my touchdown or the kiss?” he sarcastically inquires.
“both,” you spit out, still smiling.
“well, i told you i’d live up to my word, didn’t i? i promised you.”
your vision threatens to be blocked by forming tears, ironically not by the copious amount of rain plunging from the sky, but before you’re able to do so, jake isolates your bodies and wraps an arm around you, sensing your emotions, and you sniffle. “yeah, you did. i never should have doubted you, sim.”
“i’m here now, that’s all that matters.” the quarterback pecks your cheek and gives you a soft look before he heads down to the field once again, physically dodging victory punches and flirtatious but supportive winks from his teammates as a testament to what they all witnessed and what you had just experienced.
the team does their victory chant one last time and you wait for the boy right beside the bleachers where there's a built roof as you watch him split from his team and go to discuss with the scouts and his parents that give you some sly smiles. thankfully, it’s only a couple of minutes before the boy comes running to you, you didn’t know how much longer you could have lasted without the warmth of his touch.
jake takes your hand and spins you around as if you were his princess, the only girl that lived to exist. because to him, that’s exactly what you were. he kisses you once again and doesn’t seem to want to stop until you remind him that you’re still in public and very much visible to any bystanders.
he groans in annoyance but indulges your figure by securing his arm around your shoulders as you walk into the school’s locker room to let jake shower and clean himself up.
he insists on you changing into the spare sweats and jersey he keeps in case of emergencies to keep you warm and dry while he freshens himself up.
the school is empty and quiet. after his shower, jake meets you waiting on the bench outside of the locker room, sitting down beside you, flooding you with compliments about how beautiful you looked in his jersey and as a whole, then kissing you ever so delicately. “you’re wearing my jersey and the entire school saw us kiss, you know that means you’re mine now, right?”
“jake sim, i’ve been yours ever since you offered me that piece of candy the first day of jung’s psychology class,” you laugh out, resting your head on his shoulder.
“you’re mine, forever now, though. i made a promise, and i don’t intend on ever breaking it.”
“neither do i,” you vocalize along with a kiss to his cheek.
you were his, as he was yours, and that’s all there was to it.
jake sim will forever be your hot, nerdy-jock boyfriend, along with you, his precious, most enticing, most amusing, and most perfect girlfriend.
this story may not have been like all the others, with the cheerleader ending up with the star quarterback of the football team. but that’s what mattered most, your story had character and realness; not every path to romance is smooth and easily obtained. but i suppose that’s what makes your narrative most interesting.
jake didn’t want a facade of a relationship, he didn't want any pages left blank or unturned, he wanted fair play, he wanted—you.
now that he finally had you, and you had him, it’s rather plausible to say that jake sim scored more than just one touchdown in his lifetime, is it not?
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blueiight · 7 days
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can i ask your thoughts on the fandom’s heavy focus on louis as an object of desire? it sometimes feels to me like people are more interested in other characters reacting to louis than they are in louis himself. i know the “helen of troy” stuff is a joke but it genuinely seems like he’s often rendered oddly passive in his desirability, like we’re looking at him through the eyes of the other characters even though it’s his story (to be clear: in the fandom, not the actual show). or am i being uncharitable? either way, you always have interesting things to say about fandom reception.
i think the focus of louis as an object of desire arose largely in response to a lot of racially-charged nonsense about show louis, namely, where a loud minority of fans tried to deny the abuse and horror of season 1 and frame louis as the primary antagonist/abuser of his own story. which in of itself had the potential to go somewhere, especially considering the feminized role louis occupies in parts of season 1. unfortunately its spiraled off into its own dead end at this point to where now people, a year and a half removed from the release of s1, can box louis's character arc into this tale of getting all the hot boys to look her way. when this is a horror and tragedy series. romance is part of that, but is a piece of the full picture. classic romance is very much horror tbh but thats just me
if we're discussing the show strictly, majority of louis's relationships are antagonistic. even with his lovers, they love him as much as they seek to control him. 'his love is a small box that he keeps you in', trailer louis saying 'i knew who i was without those pieces [of myself?]' . so on and so forth. the first three episodes of season 1 are about louis's struggle to maintain a link with his mortal community, in the midst of increasing racist tensions against the city leaders, all as he struggles to come to terms with his existence as a vampire and how his relationship to lestat fits in relation to all these pieces of himself. doubly so, there is also the nature of the second interview in present time, and the sort of antagonism between daniel + louis as louis eventually pushes daniel into burning the old tape. the latter half of season 1, episodes 4-7 is squarely about the triad of lestat, louis, and claudia, how lestat increasingly tightens his hold over them both, claudia breaking them free of it, and louis's response to such. doubly so, daniel becomes more hostile the less he knows, and the more louis's composed 'master of his instincts' personage collapses to show the broken man thats underneath. armand comes in at the end bc the interview has reached a breaking point once more [as it did in the 1970s]. i know, im looking too hard into the meme, but so much of where louis errs, where his memory falters, where history is completely revised, has to do with the question of claudia. even book interview foundationally was about this grief, though not nearly with the level of depth+ gravity the show has added to the story.
where focusing on louis as an 'object of desire' most impedes analysis has to do with claudia as well, bc if u see louis as that solely, then what is claudia to u if not a 'child interfering in [louis's] romantic affairs'? why are people already seeking to write claudia off as a wayward child unduly 'taking out her anger on louis', when it was louis at the end of season 1 who strangled her against the wall and refused to let her burn lestat? when its louis in the trailer thats throwing claudia's words from season 1 back at her, evading her questions in the cafe? when claudia is having to dress as a baby doll and advertise with a sandwich board for a theater + a coven-master that all want her dead?
i think this is by nature of the fact that iwtv is canonly gay and isnt afraid of showing that, and modern fandom is mainly interested in romance. claudia's relationship to louis is secondary, if not tertiary, to all 'camps' of this tiny tiny fandom bc she is clearly established in s1 as not being a viable romantic option for louis, despite claudia's perspective and her story taking up the second half of the first season, and will continue to be important in the second season. the 'helen of troy' fixation on his desirability in relation to romantically viable vampires [or even men] seems to be another means by which fans can ignore this part of the story, just as the mutual abuse nonsense about louis being clarence thomas the third self hating black man who stole lestat's lunchables and is 'just as bad as the rest' drowned out and continues to drown out any other conversation for the past year and a half. it is very difficult to have conversations on this character precisely bc of this state of fandom, where many people seek to crack the whip over a fictional character for not being mother teresa and having a complex response to trauma, then instead of discussing that, some seek to fixate on the fact that mother teresa can be sexy, actually. when thats not the point. why is modern louis so full of grief and all but suicidal in dubai, if not for the fact that claudia is permanently dead, he still lives, he regrets something, and wants to find the truth under it all? the jokes are cute and all, but lets put our thinking caps on.
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crowleyholmes · 3 months
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hi there chris! since the new year is approaching rapidly, i wanted to ask my favorite creators (that includes you! i love your art!) how they look back on their 2023 tumblr year and which blogs made them happy to be here. i am very happy to follow you and hope you'll have a great 2024! 💘
Hiiii omg this is so sweet and means a lot to me, thank you! 🥺💕
I've been meaning to do a little end-of-the-year shoutout/love post for some of my favorite blogs, so I hope you don't mind if I use your ask as the perfect excuse!
I've had many fun years on tumblr, but this one has been extra special. Falling into the Good Omens fandom and meeting all of you amazing people has made this year so so SO much better than it otherwise would have been, so here are some special shoutouts (apologies, I'm sure this will get long, things like this tend to get away from me, so I'll put it under a read-more)
@majortomyourcurcuitsdead SASHA can you believe I was going to just send you an anon telling you that I think you're cool and leave it at that. Can you believe it. WELL thank Somebody you had your anon turned off and I had to expose myself in your dms because it feels like we just instantly connected about like 20 different things and haven't stopped talking since sskjdfhs anyway I'm so happy I met you you're so fun and so clever and so talented and so enthusiastic and I've only known you for like. What 2 months?? Ish? But I already love you so much <3
@lineffability !!! Line you are so *struggles to find words* you're just great is what you are okay. I feel like you are what happens when somebody takes a big cup and puts six shots of love, chaos, sunshine, talent, fun, and enthusiasm into it, generously sprinkles intelligence on top and gives it a good stir. I don't even remember how or when or why we started talking tbh? But your creativity is so inspiring, and some of my favorite tumblr-moments of this year have been 'yes-and'ing with you about one thing or another in a very >:3 manner hahah so! my point is! i love you lots <3
@dontbotheraziraphale Teeeedddd you're wonderful, I vented at you one time and then we talked for like 2 hours and at the end of that 1 conversation I already considered you a friend - and not just in that "tumblr mutuals who talk 1 time are my friends" kind of way but like. Genuinely. You're so kind and so fun and every time we talk it's such a good time ily a lot my bro my buddy my man <3
@crikey01 Tallulah HI I also completely forgot how we started talking but I remember connecting the dots that you were the one who painted those INSANE black and white and gold oil paintings and the way my jaw dropped like?? BRO you're so talented I admire you so much! And I love that we bonded over stopping each other from masochistically checking certain peoples' blogs... 😂 Anyway you're so sweet and fun and ily lots <3
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The list could probably go on but you four are the people I've talked to most on here and you're the tumblr chat boxes I never close but always just minimize and y'all better see this as the ultimate internet declaration of affection that it Clearly is >:D 💕
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And here are some more shout-outs because I just HAVE to.
Apologies, I know I've already tagged a bunch of you recently in a mutuals appreciation post but. This is my official thank-you-for-2023 post and I just have a lot of love for you all okay sorry feel free to ignore this <3
@rowan-ashtree (i'll text you back soon I promise I'm sorry I just haven't had the brain-space recently ssjkdfh) @crawley-fell (we've never talked but i love you from afar :')) @ineffabildaddy @llokilaufeyson @actual-changeling @saryasy @hyperfocusthusly @beccibarnes @rainbowcrowley @thesherrinfordfacility @goodoldfashionednightingale @wibbly-wobbly-blog @highlyillogicalandroid (i see your data obsession and i agree <3) @tortugay @foolishlovers @stargazing-crowley @gingiekittycat @weasleywrinkles @bildads-shoes @finleycannotdraw @bowtiepastabitch @heytherefluffy @samwwise @nocturnal-birb @athousandyearstime @angelsdiningattheritz @most-normal-eccles-cake-ignorer @jedthesecretdreamer @wraithee @hydrangeadangea @southfarthing @frodo-baggins @mobius-m-mobius
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