#anyway Christmas turned into a great day in the last hours so yay for that!
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Burn The Witch 8 - Rookie Mistake [Bucky Barnes x Reader]
A.N: Thank you so much for your wonderful support and feedback my loves ! ❤ Here’s the next chapter, I hope you like it as well and please let me know what you think! ❤ Thank you! ❤❤❤
Warnings: Enemies to lovers, fake dating, mentions of blood, sex, violence, death, manipulation, language, guns, knives.
Summary: Every agent makes mistakes.
Series Masterlist
You had no idea what you’d done for karma to hunt you down like this, but it was very clear that at some part in your life, you had messed up.
Maybe it was because you never bought recyclable giftwraps for Christmas even if everyone told you to.
Maybe it was because you still used too much sugar in your coffee.
Maybe it was because of all the targets you had killed.
A mystery, that one.
You groaned, pressing your forehead on the window of the car as you massaged your temples.
“Do I have a tracker on me or something?” you whined, “Is that it? What are the chances I run into my fake boyfriend twice while on a mission? It’s a huge city, it’s not supposed to be possible!”
“I don’t know about you but I’m shaking,” Keith reached out to wave his hand in front of your eyes while Chloe checked you both in the rear mirror, “I’m— my hands are all sweaty look—“
“Don’t touch me with your sweaty hands!” you batted his hands away when he tried to touch your face, “How did this happen? How is this possible? Chloe? Chloe answer me, how is this fucking possible?”
“Okay, let’s all take a breath and focus on the bright side of the situation,” she managed to say, keeping her eyes on the road, “Your cover wasn’t blown, he still has no idea you’re…well, you. And everyone is alive, yay!”
“I was on the same rooftop as the world’s most dangerous assassin,” Keith let out a breath, “He was right there when I got there, he was just…. That guy could kill us all!”
“Shrike, just give the order and we will—“
“Everyone stay where you are,” you touched your earpiece, “It’s under control.”
“Let me guess,” Bucky said as he took a step towards you, “Another member of HYDRA and you got here before me.”
“Are you following me or something?” you asked and he scoffed.
“Maybe you’re not the only person going after HYDRA.”
“Maybe I should be,” you said, “Don’t get me wrong, I kind of dig the whole vigilante vibe but my superiors have more…planned strategies for things like these.”
“And who do you work for, exactly?”
You let out a small laugh, “Every girl has her secrets,” you stated, “Why are you here?”
“Why are you?”
“Because I’m getting paid for it,” you said, “You’re not. Surely a handsome guy like you could fill his nighttime with different activities rather than doing….this.”
Even in the dark, you could tell that he shifted his weight uncomfortably.
“Aw, not a huge fan of flirting?”
“Not with you.”
You couldn’t help but scoff a laugh at the irony, “Why, you got a girl at home?”
The door slammed open and one of the agents –Keith, you assumed— stepped out, his rifle pointed at Bucky while he heaved a sigh, shaking his head slightly.
“Your friend has a scarf wrapped over his face to keep his identity hidden and you call me a vigilante?”
Keith almost looked like Daredevil with Chloe’s red scarf covering half of his face.
“Mystery is kind of our deal.” you said and motioned at Keith, “Put the gun down, he’s not going to hurt me. In fact, he’s going to let me walk away.”
Bucky tilted his head, “You think so?”
“I know so. I’d hate to mess up that beautiful face during combat.”
“You sound very sure of yourself.”
“I am.” you shrugged your shoulders and walked past him.
“Who are you?” he asked and you turned around to look at him.
“Come on, you know better than that.” You said and saluted him in a mocking manner before walking to the door, “Until next time, soldier.”
“I’m serious, feel my hands—“ you were pulled out of your thoughts when Keith reached out for you and you made a face, slapping his hand away once again.
“He told me he would stay at home tonight!” you exclaimed. “I can’t believe this, how dare—“
“It’s not like he said he was going to bed and ended up going to a club behind your back,” Chloe said, “Just saying, that happens a lot in some relationships.”
“Chloe, it’s not a real relationship!” you reminded her “What, my options were him having a one night stand and him going after the same target I was going to kill? By all means, he can go and get laid then!”
“But that would count as cheating!” Chloe said, “Besides, you know what they say. Targets over...ladies.”
“No one in the whole human history has ever said that honey.” Keith said helpfully and you looked out the window.
“Wait, where are we going?”
“The base.” Chloe said as if she was apologizing, “Dad wants to see you.”
You threw your head back and slipped a little on the leather seat.
“Great,” you muttered, “Tonight is getting better and better.”
***
Thankfully, General decided to let you go home after an hour of briefing. He had asked you whether you would like to be pulled out of other missions and instead just focus on Bucky but ignoring Keith’s glances, you had said no.
You had to prove yourself if you wanted to be a handler.
Thankfully it was Saturday so you could sleep until late and when you woke up, instead of going over the plans and rushing to the milkshake shop and coming up with strategy after strategy.
For some reason, you felt almost excited for your second date with Bucky. Maybe Chloe had a point, maybe you had to be extra careful not to lose yourself in your own cover. Just because you hadn’t had that problem before didn’t mean you could take it for granted.
You weren’t used to this kind of a mission. Not this long anyway, tricking a target was fine, it was expected but actually forming a relationship with them was much more complicated than a couple of lies here and there.
You clicked your tongue and tilted your head, looking in the mirror. You already knew Bucky would show up on his motorcycle, so you ditched the dresses and instead picked jeans and a nice blouse. When Chloe had first recreated your whole wardrobe for this mission, you whined for days but now you were slowly getting used to it.
Even though you were pretty sure you would never get used to the uniform.
Your phone started vibrating on the nightstand and you checked the caller I.D. before answering it.
“Hi!” you said, “Are you here?”
“Yes ma’am,” You could almost hear Bucky’s grin, “You ready?”
“Don’t go anywhere, I’ll be right there,” you said and hung up, then took a last look at your gun and put it beneath your pillow. Pushing your hair behind your ear, you locked the door behind you and made your way downstairs.
“Oh my goodness you were serious!” you said when you saw him leaning against a motorcycle and he looked you up and down, his face lighting up with a smile.
“Hi beautiful.”
Your stomach did a pleasant flip and you didn’t even have to fake mirroring his smile, “Hi,” you murmured and pointed at the motorcycle, “You were serious about that.”
“I was, but—“ he turned around to grab something from the top case on the motorcycle, then turned to you, holding a bouquet of flowers. You gasped and reached out to take them from him.
“As promised,” he joked as you buried your nose into the bouquet.
“Thank you,” you said, looking up at him before heaving a dramatic sigh. “Well, we had a deal. I’ll have to get on this deathtrap huh?”
“Oh if you’re the type to break deals, you don’t have to,” he taunted and you scrunched up your nose. “But where we’re going is a little away from here, just so you know.”
“Where are we going?”
“Didn’t you say you wanted to explore the city?”
You nodded and stole a look at the motorcycle standing behind him, making him chuckle.
“You laugh now but if you drop me on the way—“
“I’m not going to drop you on the way.”
“Or if I die, I’m haunting you.” You pointed at him, “For the rest of your life.”
He nodded in a very solemn manner, “Deal.”
You placed the bouquet into the top case carefully and turned to him so that he could put the helmet over your head. The fond light in his eyes was impossible to miss as he fixed it and lifted the shield.
“Comfortable?” he asked, his hands still cradling the helmet and you grinned.
“Mm hm.” You said and got on the motorcycle after him, then wrapped your arms around his torso. The scent of his cologne mixed with the faint aftershave filled your nostrils, making you inhale and you adjusted your grip.
“Ready to do this?”
“Nope,” you said, making him laugh, “Let’s do it anyways.”
***
You had never been so good at dates. You always thought it was awkward and to be frank most of the time you felt like it was an unnecessary step to getting to know this person when you could just look them up or ask Chloe to do it for you.
Besides, the last time you had gone on a date it had ended up in what spies could get as close to a relationship as possible.
But now, much to your surprise you were actually enjoying yourself.
“Brooklyn!” you said, looking around, “Oh my God, I’ve wanted to come here for a while!”
“Have you?”
“Yeah!” you said, “Since I moved to New York. I saw it on um— I saw it on Gossip Girl.”
“Is that a magazine?”
“TV show.”
“Ah.”
“You grew up here right?” you asked and he nodded.
“Yeah! Yeah I grew up very close to this neighborhood actually.”
“Do I get to see it?”
He tilted his head, “Do you want to?”
“Yes!” you said, “It’d be fun, don’t you think?”
He hesitated only for a moment, “Right this way then,” he said and held out his hand. You bit down and smile and took it, then started walking beside him.
“There used to be a movie theatre there,” he motioned at one of the shops, “I was actually— I came around here right before I was shipped off.”
“Really?”
“Mm hm. We went to this Stark Exhibition, me and—“ he stopped talking and you looked up at him before it dawned on you.
Steve Rogers.
Of course. Figures.
You cleared your throat, desperate to pull him out of his own mind.
“I can actually see you growing up here,” you said, “And for some reason you’re wearing short pants and you have a cap? And you’re like running around with a newspaper under your— am I describing a movie? I think I’m describing a movie.”
“Weirdly enough, you’re actually right.”
Your jaw dropped, “Wait, are you serious?”
“Yeah I had short pants and a couple of caps while I was growing up,” he said, making you gasp.
“Aww!”
“No, don’t.”
“That’s such a cute mental image!”
“Stop imagining it.”
“Tiny baby Bucky Barnes with his tiny little hat—“ you started but he pulled you closer to cover your mouth while still walking, making you let out a muffled laugh.
“Hey you should see my baby pictures, they’re a mess,” you said, “I have this picture with strawberry jam covering my face and my hair— oh, I’ve heard about this shop before! They make these famous bagels, do you want to take a look?”
“Sure, why not?” he said and followed you into the shop.
“Oh come on…” he muttered as he took a look at the menu board “Why does everyone put everything in food nowadays?”
You stifled a laugh and turned to the woman behind the counter, “I’ll get a cereal rainbow bagel and he will get something….classic.”
“We have plain bagel with cheese?”
“That sounds good. When exactly did people start eating lavender?” he asked you and you shrugged,
“Pretty recently I think,” you said and reached for your wallet but Bucky shot you a look.
“Don’t even think about it,” he quoted you and paid for the food, then you both grabbed the small paper plates and sat down on the small bar stools. You crossed your legs, turning to look at him better.
“I could let you try mine?” you taunted him and he chuckled.
“No thank you.” He eyed your bagel as if it was going to come alive any time. “I like the smell but…”
You tore a part of your bagel and put it on his plate. “Live a little Bucky Barnes.”
He held up the piece as if toasting you and you held up your bagel to touch his, giggling.
“So,” you said, “Could you rest last night? At least a little?”
His gaze lingered on you for a moment, as if trying to decide what to say.
“Yeah,” he said eventually, “I did.”
Right.
Of course he would lie, it wasn’t as if he could tell you—
“I just had to go outside for an hour but it was fine.”
Your eyes snapped up to his and you blinked a couple of times, taken by surprise at his honesty. It would’ve been so easy for him to flat out tell you a lie, but for some reason he chose against it. You knew he wouldn’t tell you the whole thing but the fact that he hadn’t brushed you off somehow made you feel all warm.
“Oh?” you asked, “Is—is everything okay? You were safe right?”
“Of course.”
You raised your brows, “Bucky.”
“There’s just this…crazy person I keep running into but it’s fine, no worries.”
Crazy person?!
You stared at him but you managed to pull yourself together and sat up straighter, picking at the cereal on top of the bagel.
“As long as you rested just a little, I still take that as a win,” you pointed out, making him smile.
“How about you?” he asked, “How was your night?”
I ran into you right after assassinating another member of HYDRA.
“It wasn’t as exciting as yours,” you took a bite of your bagel, “Surprising isn’t it? Here I thought I was the dangerously adventurous one.”
***
You were one hundred percent sure you were somehow doing this whole mission wrong. In fact scratch the mission, you were doing this date thing wrong.
You weren’t supposed to like it this much.
You had never enjoyed any of your earlier dates with other people this much. By the time you decided to go back, it was the middle of the night and you had spent the whole day together without even realizing it. It didn’t feel like it was a mission you had been put on, it almost—
It almost felt real.
You frowned at yourself, reminding yourself to keep your head in the game and got off the motorcycle when it stopped in front of the building your apartment was in. As soon as you took off your helmet, you started fixing your hair while he watched you with a smile on his face.
“I have a confession to make,” you said as you handed him the helmet for him to put it on the motorcycle.
“What is it?”
“There’s a slight possibility,” you said, bringing your thumb and pointer together close, “Very slight possibility that you may have been right about the motorcycle.”
“Oh was I now?” he asked, feigning surprise and you let out a giggle.
“Maybe,” you said, “I mean I didn’t die, that’s something.”
“That was an expectation?”
“That was a possibility,” you corrected him, “But I got on a motorcycle and you tried a weird bagel. As far as putting ourselves in dangerous situations on a second date, I’d say we’re even.”
“You know, thank you for acknowledging it,” he played along, “It was really intimidating at first, but I’d like to believe I pulled through in the end.”
“You did,” you said, “So proud of you. Maybe the next time you visit me at the shop, you can finally try Unicorn Cotton Candy.”
“We’ll see about that,” he said and shifted your weight, taking a deep breath.
“Thank you for today. I don’t remember the last time I had this much fun.”
“I’m glad,” he said with a smile, “Same here, aside from your quite disgusting taste in bagels, it was—”
“You didn’t like it?” you exclaimed and waved your hands in the air, “You know what, it’s fine. I have this strategy and you’ll—you’ll get there. We’re going to find something that is both completely modern and you like very much.”
“I think we already have,” he stated, his gaze locked in yours and you couldn’t help but smile at that.
“I’d hope so,” you replied, “Really.”
A silence fell upon you and you pushed your hair behind your ear.
“I should probably get going,” you pointed at the building with your thumb, “I have this very curious elderly neighbor, and trust me, she wouldn’t even wait for the morning to ask me about you if she saw us.”
“Oh we can’t have that, can we?” he said and you nodded your head, then gasped.
“Wait—Bucky, my flowers!” you said, “Give me my flowers.”
“Right,” he snapped his fingers and turned around to grab the bouquet from the top case, then paused.
“What?” you asked and he looked at you over his shoulder.
“Maybe it wasn’t a good idea to keep them in a very hot box whole day?” he asked and pulled out the bouquet, making you let out a whine at the sight. The flowers looked nearly withered and you took them from him, pressing your lips together.
“Okay, it’s not so bad,” you said as if trying to convince yourself, “It’s alright, I can fix this.”
“Darling I don’t think—“
“I can!” you insisted, “I’m gonna put them in water tonight or—or find some solution. I’m gonna google something, I’m pretty sure there are ways to save them.”
“Or I can just get you new ones.”
“That’s not how it works,” you pointed out, still holding the bouquet carefully over your chest as you assessed the damage, then looked up to find his eyes fixed on you.
“I’m—I should go now.”
“Okay.”
Neither of you moved for a moment before you took a deep breath, your heart slamming against your chest. You knew what your cover would or wouldn’t do, but somehow you had this urge that told you the situation probably called for your decisions, not your cover’s.
“Oh screw this,” you muttered as you stepped closer to him to stand on your tiptoes and pull him into a kiss.
Well, for you or your cover that felt like the best decision you had ever made on this mission.
He pressed you closer to his body, his hand cradling the back of your head and as if on cue, your stomach did a pleasant flip, giddiness filling your whole system. You rested a hand over his chest, feeling his fast heartbeat under your palm and let yourself get lost in the kiss until he pulled back slowly. A small giggle escaped from you as his arm around you got tighter, a smile lighting up his face.
“Well, you weren’t going to do it,” you commented, making him chuckle.
“I was waiting for the third date actually.”
“Oh how I’m glad the times have changed,” you said and caught the sight of the bouquet currently crushed between you two. You took a step back, tilting your head.
“Gosh, I don’t think I can fix this.”
“Yeah I’m pretty sure we just murdered them,” Bucky stated and you heaved a dramatic sigh.
“Worth it,” you grinned, “You win some you lose some.”
“New flowers next date, got it.”
A look of mischief crossed your face, “Deal. Good night Bucky.”
“Good night darling.”
You bit down a smile and made your way to the building, then hopped on the steps to get to your floor, somehow way too excited to get in the elevator and wait. As soon as you got into your apartment you leaned back to the door, closing your eyes.
Just your cover. You knew you had to act like your cover and that was why your heart was beating this fast, no other reason.
You pushed yourself off the door and stepped into the living room, still holding the flowers tight in your arms. You knew what you were supposed to do, back at the academy when you were being educated on seduction of the enemy, they always told you to draw the line between yourself and your cover. One of the easiest ways to do it was getting rid of every single thing your target would give you as a gift, keeping these gifts posed the danger of making you hesitant when it was time to bring the target in.
You couldn’t keep anything. You knew that.
It would be a rookie mistake.
You lingered on your steps, then approached the dinner table to touch the vase Chloe had put fake flowers in. You grabbed the fake flowers and pulled them out of the vase to throw them into the trashcan, then filled the vase to the brim with water and carefully placed the bouquet into it before putting it on the table again.
You were a professional spy. Keeping something as simple as flowers only for this one instance wouldn’t hurt anyone after all.
You were sure it would be fine.
You stepped back to take a look at the vase and shrugged your shoulders.
“My cover likes flowers,” you muttered to yourself and made your way to your bedroom.
Chapter 9
#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#the falcon and the winter soldier#tfatws#falcon and the winter soldier#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes imagines#fatws#bucky barnes x you#marvel#burn the witch
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Going Home - Single Dad!Charlie x Owen
THIS IS PART 7 OF THE SINGLE DAD!CHARLIE SERIES, YOU CAN FIND THE OTHER PARTS HERE
Request: none
Word Count: 1630 words
Summary: Part 7 of Single Dad!Charlie and part 2 of Oklahoma, Charlie and Margaux spend their last day with Owen, but it doesn’t go exactly as planned
Warnings: swearing
plus i think everyone knows at this point but this does include romantic (pining idiots) chowen, remember this is fictional, if you dont like that just dont read :)
A/N: time for a little bit of angst? i think so!
literally wrote this in about 2 hours last night so if it’s not great that’s why hahaha
anyways heres part 2 of oklahoma, enjoy !
Tag List: @happinessinthedarkesttimes @littlemissaddict @vicesvsvirtuesfanfic @headheartbellarke @lovesanimals @bartok-the-magnificent @juliefromaustralia @multi-universe21 @rangerelik @kaitieskidmore1 @katrina765 @fandomxreaders @ifilwtmfc @yagorlemmalyn
Charlie and Margaux’s four days in Oklahoma passed quickly, and before Charlie knew it he was waking up on the morning of their last day.
And like every morning for their time in Oklahoma, Charlie woke up curled into Owen’s chest, the taller boy’s arms wrapped around him tightly. Charlie didn’t know how he was going to be able to sleep without Owen beside him.
“Owen.” Charlie whispered quietly, brushing a stray strand of hair off Owen’s forehead and placing a soft kiss on his jaw. Owen’s eyelids fluttered as he stirred.
“Hmm?” He mumbled. Charlie kissed his cheek.
“Wake up. We leave in a few hours.”
“Stay.” Owen squeezed him tighter, placing a sleepy kiss on Charlie’s forehead. Charlie sighed at the contact.
“You know we can’t.” He said softly. Owen opened his eyes for the first time, giving Charlie his best puppy eyes.
“Please?” He begged.
“O...” Charlie hesitated, wishing he could say yes but he knew they had to go home.
“It’s fine.” Owen sighed, shutting his eyes. “Go back to California and leave me here.”
“Why don’t you come with us?” Charlie questioned.
“To LA?” Owen asked, his eyes opening again. Charlie nodded.
“Yeah. We can get an apartment together, just like in Vancouver, so that way you’ll be with me...” He cleared his throat. “I mean, with Margaux, all the time. Or you could just stay at our current place and share my bedroom, I wouldn’t mind. I kinda really like waking up with you.”
“I'll have to think about it, if that’s okay?” Owen replied. Charlie smiled softly.
“Of course it’s okay.” He agreed. Owen smiled.
“Thanks.”
They fell into a comfortable silence, before Charlie spoke up again.
“I did actually have something to ask you though.” He said, and Owen raised an eyebrow.
“Yeah?” He prompted.
“Mags and I are staying in LA for Christmas this year, just the two of us, and I was hoping you’d join us? Margaux would love to have you there... Fuck it, I would love to have you there too.” Charlie explained. Owen stared at him for a few moments, and Charlie could practically see the gears turning in his brain.
“You want me to spend Christmas with you?” He asked after a moment.
“Only if you want to of course.” Charlie said quickly, and Owen bit his lip.
“I don’t know Char, I’ve never celebrated Christmas away from my family before.” He admitted.
“Oh, then in that case, don’t worry.” Charlie gave him a small smile.
“Charlie...” Owen said softly, but Charlie shook his head, silencing the younger boy.
“It’s fine, I just thought I’d offer.” He said. Owen frowned.
“Sorry.” He mumbled.
“No need to apologise.” Charlie told him, trying to ignore the stinging feeling of rejection in his chest. He knew that if he was in Owen’s position he probably wouldn’t want to spend Christmas away from his family either. But Charlie was in a different place to Owen, he has his own family, and as long as he was with Margaux for Christmas it didn’t matter where he was. Maybe they should come back to Oklahoma for Christmas...
“Should we, uh, should we get breakfast?” Owen questioned, shaking Charlie out of his thoughts and Charlie realised they had been laying in silence while he thought. He cleared his throat.
“Sounds good.” He answered.
Owen rolled out of his bed without another word, stepping over Margaux’s sleeping body to leave the room. Charlie sighed, watching him go.
Once again he’d overstepped and freaked Owen out. Great way to end their trip.
-
Two hours later Charlie was fully packed, and had agreed to let Margaux take Bindi for one last walk before they left.
He put her padded coat on, since it was quite chilly outside, and with a glance towards the kitchen to see if Owen was joining them, Charlie ushered Margaux and Bindi out of the house.
“Daddy, will Bindi forget me?” Margaux questioned as they left the driveway. Charlie shook his head, holding tightly to Margaux’s hand, her other hand holding Bindi’s lead.
“Of course not baby. How could she forget her bestest little friend?” He reassured the four year old. Margaux nodded, satisfied.
“Will she miss me?” She asked.
“I bet she will.” Charlie agreed.
“I’m gonna miss her.” Margaux pouted.
“Me too. We’ll come back and see her soon, okay?” Charlie told her, once again considering a change of Christmas plans.
“Okay.” Margaux agreed happily.
Charlie laughed slightly as Bindi tugged Margaux along the path, the four year old struggling slightly to keep the large dog from pulling her over.
“Daddy?” Margaux spoke again as they reached the end of the street.
“Yeah?” Charlie replied, checking for cars before leading Margaux and Bindi across the road.
“Can we get a puppy?” Margaux asked, and Charlie hesitated.
“We don’t really have room for a puppy baby.” He told her. She pouted for a few seconds before a new idea hit her.
“Oh. What about a horsey?” She asked, eyes wide, and Charlie grinned.
“I think horseys need a little bit of room too. Why don’t we think a little bit smaller?” He suggested, already knowing that the second they arrived in LA they would be making a trip to the pet store.
“A pony?” Margaux frowned and Charlie laughed.
“Bit smaller. And if you say a baby pony I’m gonna tickle you so much.” He teased and Margaux squealed.
“No tickles.” She giggled.
“What about if we get a fishy? Does that sound good?” Charlie suggested, and Margaux considered it for a few seconds.
“A blue one?” She asked, and Charlie smiled.
“I’m sure we can find a blue one.” He agreed.
“Yay!” Margaux cheered. “Bindi, I’m getting a fishy.”
They stopped at a park, Margaux and Bindi running around together until Margaux got tired and came back over to Charlie, Bindi trailing behind her. Charlie picked her up with ease, Bindi’s lead in his other hand, and started the walk back to Owen’s parents house.
“Let’s go back to Papa’s house and get ready to go home.” Charlie said as they walked. Margaux whined.
“Don’t wanna go home.” Margaux mumbled, her face pressed into Charlie’s shoulder. Charlie sighed.
“Me neither baby, me neither.”
-
The ride to the airport was quiet, the only sound Margaux happily singing along to the Julie and the Phantoms soundtrack that she had requested Owen put on for her. They pulled into the parking lot and once the car was stopped Charlie took a deep breath.
“I guess we’ll see you around then.” He said, his voice sounding flat. Owen frowned.
“You don’t want me to walk you in?” He asked. Charlie shrugged.
“Figured you didn’t want to, since you haven’t spoken to me since this morning.” He replied and Owen’s eyes narrowed.
“You didn’t make much effort to talk to me either. You left on a walk without even asking if I wanted to join.” His tone was cold.
“I’m not fighting with you in front of...” Charlie trailed off, glancing in the rear view mirror at Margaux, who seemed oblivious to their argument, too busy peering out the window to see the planes.
“I’m coming in.” Owen stated, unclipping his seatbelt. Charlie rolled his eyes.
“Fine.” He grumbled.
“No need to sound so fucking enthusiastic.” Owen muttered, and Charlie shook his head as Owen climbed out of the car to grab the bags.
Charlie opened his mouth to reply but shut it quickly, not wanting to cause more drama. When he had thought about leaving Owen again, he really didn’t picture it going quite like this.
-
They sat at the gate in silence until finally the announcement came that it was time for Margaux and Charlie to board the plane.
“Okay baby, say bye to Papa.” Charlie instructed as he stood up. Margaux wrapped her arms around Owen from her position in his lap.
“Bye Papa, I love you.” She said. Owen hugged her back, placing a soft kiss on her head.
“Love you too darling. I’ll see you soon, okay?” He replied, and Margaux looked up at him with big eyes.
“Promise?” She asked. Owen nodded.
“Promise.” He replied.
Owen stood up, placing Margaux on the ground and she looked at her father expectantly.
“What?” Charlie asked, seeing the look on her face.
“Say bye to Papa.” She prompted and Charlie shook his head at her bossiness.
“Bye Owen.” He said simply. Owen sighed.
“Bye Charlie.” He replied.
“Don’t forget to hug.” Margaux said, and Charlie couldn’t help the small smile that appeared on his face. He pulled Owen in, wrapping his arms around the taller boy.
“I’m sorry.” Owen mumbled into his neck. Charlie shook his head.
“No, I’m sorry, it’s my fault. I shouldn’t have overreacted.” He replied. Letting Owen go, Charlie gave him a sad smile.
“I’m gonna miss you.” He admitted.
“I think I’m gonna miss you two more.” Owen replied. His eyes flicked to Charlie’s lips for a second, and with a quick glance around to see if anyone was watching them, he lent in, placing a quick kiss on Charlie’s lips. Charlie’s eyes widened, but before he could respond Owen was pulling away.
“Ew.” Margaux mumbled and Charlie chuckled. He took her hand, knowing that they had to get on the plane before he either decided to stay or jumped on Owen to kiss him senseless. He figured the airport probably wasn’t the best place for that. They made it to the flight attendants who scanned their boarding passes.
“Charlie!” Owen called, just as they were about to head down the tunnel to the plane, and Charlie turned back around. Owen gave him a massive grin before speaking again.
“I’ll see you for Christmas.”
#single dad!charlie series#single dad!charlie#single dad!charlie x owen#charlie gillespie#owen patrick joyner#chowen
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For the fluffy holiday fic prompts: Jonsa and #3, secret Santa! 🎁🎅
omg YAY!! thanks so much for the prompt love💕💕
so this kind of got away from me here LMAO but i hope you like it!!
send me a prompt!
“Come on, Jon! Just pull a name out!”
Jon Snow sighed at his friend. The Starks always played Secret Santa every Christmas. And unlike Theon, Jon normally doesn’t stay with them during the holidays, he goes back home to his mother’s. So he’s never played with them before.
Unfortunately, with his starting grad school this year, Jon couldn’t afford the flight home to his mother’s, and Lyanna couldn’t afford the flight to Winterfell. And since he already spends most other holidays and breaks with them, this year, he finally accepted the Starks’ invitation to spend Christmas there.
“Yeah, Jon. You have to, I’ve already put your name in,” Robb’s younger sister, Arya, said smugly, “If you don’t pull a name, it sucks for whoever’s left in the hat.”
Sansa, Robb’s other sister, wiggled the Santa hat with the last slip of paper in front of Jon’s face. She smiled at him. “Give in, Jon. You know you want to.”
“Whoever has my name could always draw again?” he suggested hopefully.
“Nonsense,” Catelyn said, “Jon, you’ve practically been family since Robb brought you home for freshman spring break. Don’t feel awkward about this, it’s all in good fun.”
Other than his own mother, Catelyn Stark was probably the best and kindest mother in the world. Jon couldn’t say no to her.
--
Jon wished he said no to Catelyn. Of all the names he could have picked. Of all the names! He had to pull Sansa’s. And it wasn’t like there was anything wrong with Sansa. Quite the opposite in fact. She was great. Perfect, actually. And that was the problem. Sansa Stark was perfect and had everything. What could Jon “poor undergrad” Snow possibly get her that she’ll like?
--
Sansa feels stupid. She couldn’t for the life of her figure out what to get Jon for Christmas. Of course with her shit luck, she’d pull the name of the one person who she’s most nervous about pleasing. But it’s fine. It’s fine. She can just ask Theon to switch with her. He’ll do it, no problem. Besides, he owes her.
--
“Bro, just get her some jewelry or something. Sansa likes pretty things.”
Jon rubbed his temples. Robb is absolutely no help. But Jon should’ve expected that. “I can’t just get her jewelry, Robb. I don’t think she even wears any. This has to be a good gift!”
“Why?” asked Robb, with a mouthful of butter toffee pretzels.
Before Jon could even think of an answer, a snort came from the hallway. When Jon and Robb looked, they saw a smirking Arya leaning on the doorframe.
“You’re really asking why?” Arya rolled her eyes and then laughed at her brother. “Wow you’re stupid.” She walked away and left an offended Robb and a stressed Jon.
He groaned. “What do you even get someone who already has everything she could possibly want?”
--
Sansa crossed her arms as she glared at Theon. He hadn’t stopped laughing. “Are you done yet?”
“Sorry, babe. Dunno how to help you here,” he chuckled.
“You could switch with me!”
“Nah, I like who I have.”
“You owe me!”
Theon stopped laughing. “Wh- for what?”
“For saving your ass when-”
“Nuh-uh. Nope!” Theon wagged his finger at her. “You don’t get to keep using that one. I’m sorry we dated the same asshole, but talking the cop out of arresting me for keying that car was forever ago!”
Sansa huffed. “Fine. But can you at least help me? I have no idea what Jon likes! He’s such a… minimalist. What do you get someone who doesn’t want anything?”
“Wow you’re really desperate aren’t you?” Theon looked at her sadly before giving her the biggest shit eating grin. “I mean. Knowing Jon, there’s only one thing he’d like to unwrap for Christmas. You know, tall, red hair, blue eyes, goes by the name Sansa-”
“Theon!”
He laughed. “What? You like him, Sans! Just make your move!”
She sighed. “Please be serious about this?”
“Alright, alright.” Theon thought for a bit. “I heard Tiles are all the rage now. You can get him that?”
“What’s are Tiles?”
“It’s like… like Find My iPhone, but like ‘Find My Whatever it’s Attached To’ instead.”
“Oh. Okay, yeah.” Sansa nodded. “Jon’s pretty forgetful, that should be good, right?”
“Yeah! Like they’re very handy. He can attach it to like -uh- his backpack? Uh… clothes- no. Uh.. a baby…”
Sansa looked at him like he was stupid. Which, fair.
“Oh! Oh, keys! Keys are what people usually attach them to.”
Maybe asking Theon for help was a bad move. Sansa doesn’t understand how she became such close friends with this idiot.
--
“Oh!”
Jon jumped and turned around. “Sansa? What are you doing up?”
She smiled wryly at him. “I could say the same thing about you.” When he did nothing but smile abashedly at her, she continued into the kitchen and got a mug out of the cupboard. “So,” Sansa said, after realizing Jon wasn’t going to say anything, “What’s someone like you doing up way past his bedtime?” As she continued on making her tea, she looked up to Jon, waiting for an answer.
Jon blinked at her. “Uh…”
Sansa chuckled. “That bad?” She finished making her drink and leaned on the counter, lightly blowing on the cup. “Well, I’m up because I’m a light sleeper. Especially when I’m stressed. Loud noises tend to wake me up.”
Jon suddenly felt incredibly guilty. “Oh gods, I’m so sorry. I didn’t realize I was being loud-”
“No no,” Sansa cut him off. “Sorry, that was poorly worded. Lady got up and had a late night snack.”
“Ah.” Jon nodded in understanding and took a sip from his own mug. Hmm, she’s a light sleeper. Maybe I can get her a-
“Yeah, and my white noise machine doesn’t help much either.”
Nope. Jon sighed. What could he get for her? He cleared his throat. “So, what’s got you so stressed.?”
Sansa looked down at her mug. “A mix of a lot of things actually. This time of year always makes me feel a little melancholy.”
Jon scrunched his eyebrows.
“The ghosts of boyfriends past,” she explained.
Right. Jon’s known her for four years and she’s had a total of three boyfriends. Each one worse than the last in his humble opinion. And that had nothing to do with his crush on her, no sir.
“Yeah, Theon mentioned one earlier and it just got me thinking, you know?” Jon nodded at her to continue. “I’ve always loved the idea of some pretty prince charming sweeping me off my feet and showering me with gifts. Guess I realized, I don’t want any of that. Gifts are meaningless if there’s no thought or love behind them, you know?” She looked down embarrassedly, suddenly mortified that she just shared so much with him.
Jon gave her an out. “I still can’t believe you and Theon dated the same person.”
Sansa snorted. “Theon will date anything with pretty hair and a heartbeat.”
Jon cracked a smile. “Not ugly hair and a heartbeat?”
“Oh, gods no. He’s shallow like that.”
They both giggled.
“So…?” Sansa raised an eyebrow at him.
Oh, right. My turn. Jon cleared his throat. “Oh, um, yeah. Stress keeping me up too.” And then Jon suddenly had a thought. Is it considered cheating though? Oh well. “I have absolutely no idea what to get my Secret Santa if I’m honest. You -uh- got any ideas on what you’re getting yours?” He took a discreet sip from his mug.
Nope. “Yeah, I have an idea, I think,” she replied vaguely. “Something meaningful, you know? Can’t tell you though, sorry! It’s Secret Santa. But anyways, Jon, don’t sweat about the gift! This is supposed to be fun! Besides, you know us, we don’t need any fancy schmancy gifts.” How about you take your own advice, Sansa. “Now, that can’t be all you’re stressed about.”
Jon laughed in his drink. “Always so perceptive. No, you’re right. I mean- I am stressed about the gift, but I’m also just… I can’t help but think about my Mom, you know? Sure she has friends back home that she could spend Christmas with, but I can’t help but feel guilty for being here, while she’s at home alone right now. And I just really miss her.” He shrugged and took another sip of his drink. “So, whatcha got there? What kind of tea is it?”
“Oh, er, it’s chamomile. It helps me sleep.”
“That sounds nice. Maybe I should try that and see if it’ll help me sleep too.”
Yes! Maybe I can get him a pack of-
“Too bad I’m more of a hot water type of guy.” He smiled at her and took a sip from his mug. “Never really found the need to drink much of anything else at home.”
A fucking minimalist.
--
“So,” Arya said, “You got anything yet?”
“Nope,” came a muffled reply from Jon.
“Sucks.” He groaned in his hands and Arya felt pity. “Tell you what, I’ll let you in on a big Sansa secret.”
Jon perked up at that. “What?”
“She doesn’t give two fucks about gifts.”
“That… that doesn’t help, Arya.”
“No, I’m serious. Look,” she said forcefully, “Sansa’s had friends and boyfriends who’d always give her the most lovely and expensive gifts, right?”
“... Still not helping.”
Arya sighed. “What I’m trying to say is those boyfriends? Look around Jon, are they in her life anymore?”
--
It hit her like a shit ton of bricks. Well, actually. It was more of a passing thought as she was watching her third Christmas movie of the day.
So, with her parents’ permission and Theon’s help, she got to work.
--
Arya groaned. “You know, it’s called ‘1 hour photo.’ Meaning that the photos won’t be ready for one hour.”
“I’m sorry! I’m just anxious and I wanna get started as soon as possible.”
She rolled her eyes at Jon. He enlisted her help to buy all the things he needed for Sansa’s gift. And to provide some photos.
--
It was Christmas Day. It was Christmas Day and Jon found he was really missing his mother. He tried calling earlier, but she didn’t answer. She was either still sleeping in, as that was their usual routine, or she was at a friend’s. He sighed. He’ll try calling her again later on in the day.
Jon got up and joined the rest of the house downstairs.
--
It was Christmas Day. It was Christmas Day and Sansa was nowhere to be found. She told everyone they could get started on gifts without her if they wanted to, but of course no one was going to do that. So they planned on opening gifts after breakfast instead.
They were all in the kitchen eating when they heard the front door open and close.
“Sorry I’m late! I’ll join you guys in just a bit!” She shouted from the other room.
Jon eagerly stood up, intent on helping her with whatever last minute thing that she must’ve gone out to buy. But before he could even move, Theon promptly pushed him back down in his seat.
“Where ya going, buddy?”
“Just gonna see if Sansa needs any help.”
“No worries, I got it.” He proceeded to pour Jon a cup of orange juice. Jon confusedly thanked him and raised the glass to drink it. When he gave Theon a questioning look, Theon explained. “To help quench that thirst of yours.” Arya and Bran snorted into their food while Jon choked on his drink. Robb did neither of those things.
“Wow, you’re such a good friend, Theon!”
“Just getting into that Christmas spirit, Robb.”
He walked smugly out of the room to see whatever it was that Sansa had just gone out for. When Jon finally calmed down, he looked up to see Ned and Catelyn Stark staring right back at him. Both had their eyebrows up in amusement. Oh gods. I can never come back here again.
A few minutes later, Sansa and Theon returned. Jon noted there was nothing in either of their hands. He wasn’t the only one who noticed.
“Didn’t get what you were looking for?” Bran asked.
“Nope,” Sansa replied nonchalantly, “Must be what I get for trying to go to the store on Christmas Day.”
“So you’re telling me we could’ve opened presents by now?” Rickon was shaking his head at his big sister. Hey may be well into his teens, but Rickon was still excited for Christmas gifts.
“Sorry! Tell you what, is everyone done eating? Let’s get to presents right now!”
Catelyn made a move to start clearing the table, but Sansa waved her off. “I’ll do it after we open presents Mom. Don’t worry about it!”
--
Everyone grabbed whichever gift had their name on it. To keep things anonymous, every gift was wrapped in the same paper and the names were stuck on with pre-printed stickers. Ned passed out the gifts to be opened one by one. When Sansa opened her gift she let out a soft gasp.
“Oh,” she whispered softly, “This is perfect.” She began flipping over each page of the homemade scrapbook. They were filled with photos from the last few years. A lot of the pictures were ones she didn’t even know were taken of her and her family. Family dinners, camping trips, random moments on campus with her friends and family. It was filled with small moments that she forgot had happened. There was even a wristband from a concert Robb and Jon and Theon had taken her to.
“What is it darling?” Her mother asked.
Sansa closed the book and held it close to her chest. “It’s a scrapbook. Filled with a lot of really good memories.” She smiled. She wondered who got her such a thoughtful gift. Before she could try to figure out who it was, Rickon interrupted her.
“Wait, where’s Jon’s gift?” He and Ned looked around the tree to see if they had missed one.
“Oh, no it’s okay!” Jon started waving his hands. “I don’t need a gift!” He was actually a bit relieved. He was awkward when it came to accepting gifts.
“Oh no!” Theon declared very loudly in a strange, overly dramatic voice. “Jon doesn’t have a gift? That’s awful!” At some point during that announcement, he had slowly tilted his head towards the stairs.
Sansa slapped her forehead in disdain. Theon doesn’t have a subtle bone in his body.
“Wait yeah, that’s not right,” Robb agreed. “Jon’s Secret Santa: what the heck?”
“No, I’m good!” Jon argued. “I don’t need a gift.”
“That’s a shame. Should I just hop on a flight and head home then?”
Jon froze when he heard the voice behind him. His jaw slowly dropped and he turned around.
The woman before him tilted her head and smiled. “Hi baby.”
“Mom?”
“Merry Christmas!” Lyanna laughed as her son rushed to hug her.
“What are you doing here?! How’d you get here? Is this why you didn’t answer your phone earlier? Oh my gods!”
Sansa smiled softly at Jon. She figured it out. The one thing he probably wanted most this year was to be with his mother.
“You’ve got some wonderful friends here, Jon.” Lyanna turned around and gestured to Sansa. “This lovely young woman here booked me a flight and picked me up from the airport this morning. If she’s not your girlfriend, then you better get to it!”
“Mom!”
Lyanna ignored her son then looked at the rest of the Starks and laughed. “You people really go all out for Secret Santa gifts don’t you?”
After the initial embarrassment, Jon looked at Sansa with a mixture of disbelief and awe. And she smiled sheepishly back at him.
“Surprise?”
Jon shook his head and chuckled. “I don’t know what’s more unbelievable. You booking a last minute flight for my mother, or the fact that we both pulled each other’s name for Secret Santa.”
Sansa’s eyebrows rose. “You made this for me?” She asked softly.
It was Jon’s turn to look sheepish. He scratched the back of his head, suddenly feeling bashful. “Uh… yeah. I couldn’t think of what to get you. And then you said how you think gifts are meaningless if there’s no thought for the person receiving it and uh, I know how you love your friends and family and-”
Sansa interrupted him by engulfing him in a hug. “Thank you. I love it.”
“Oh noooo, wouldja look at that?”
Theon had somehow attached a suspicious looking holiday plant to the fishing rod he got from his Secret Santa. And he was now dangling it above Jon and Sansa as he lounged on the couch.
Sansa, too busy glaring at Theon, didn’t notice Jon’s blush. When she turned back to Jon, she opened her mouth to give him an out, but he beat her to it.
“I’m game if you are.”
I am SO game.
Sansa leaned in and Jon met her halfway.
“Wait that’s holly, not mistletoe!”
“Robb, shut up. You’re ruining their moment.”
#jonsa fic#jonsaff#jonsa#actuallyjonsa#idk where i was going with this#brought to you by my friend saying you can attach a tile to a baby#💀💀😂#I HOPE YOU LIKE IT KATHARINE#💞💕❤️#my writing#jonsaaaaaa#dreams-for-spring#writing prompt
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This Christmas - A Harry Styles Christmas Series (Part 6)
Two life long friends. Secretly in love. Home for the holidays. Will they risk everything by telling the other how they feel? Or will they spend another year loving from afar?
Read these first Prologue Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5
**
By the time you were back at your Mum’s house after a day of shopping, you were exhausted. Apparently your mother waited to do all her Christmas shopping in one day and have you hold it all. Your arms were so full of bags and boxes for all your mother’s book club friends, you had zero room to look and purchase any of the presents you had planned on buying on your little outing.
“Is there a reason you bought literally every bottle of wine today?” You groaned, placing yet another bag on the counter.
“We’re doing a wine exchange this year,” she said.
“How many bottles of wine are you exchanging with one person?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Why do you ask so many questions?” She scoffed.
“I’m a writer. It’s what I do,” you smirked. “Also, this book club of yours how much time is spent on discussing the actual book vs the amount of time spent drinking wine.”
“Eh… 60/40,” she said, moving her hand back and forth.
“More like 40/60,” you laughed, just as the doorbell rang.
“Oh! They’re here,” she said. “Y/N get the door.”
“Who is here?” You said, heading towards the door.
As soon as you opened it up, you saw Anne and Harry standing on the front porch.
“Oh, uh, hey,” you smiled. “What are you two doing here?”
“I’m here for the book club,” Anne smirked. “Harry’s here to be the designated driver.”
“Yay me,” Harry waved his hands in the air.
“That’s tonight?” you asked.
“Didn’t I tell you?” Your mother shouted from the kitchen. “Stop being rude and let them in already!”
“Right, sorry,” you winced, moving out the way.
Anne walked right past you, while you and Harry stood there in the foyer.
“So… um, I should probably help my Mum set up,” you said. “But after we could head up to my room and talk…”
“Sounds good,” he smiled. “And I can help, set up too.”
“Good because you don’t have a choice,” you smirked, pulling him into the kitchen.
**
About an hour later, the book club was well underway and you and Harry were still making sandwiches and putting cheese and crackers onto a plate.
“Why do I feel like we’re only being used as free labor?” Harry joked.
“Because we are,” you laughed. “I think it has something to do with the whole they were in labor with us, so now we must labor for them.”
“I guess it’s the least we could do, right?” He laughed.
You giggled picking up the plates and taking them out. No one was paying any attention to you and Harry, so you decided to sneak up to your old bedroom and finally have the conversation you were dreading to have. When you got up there, Harry walked around a bit, remembering the last time he was there.
“I see you still have the Jonas Brothers poster,” he raised an eyebrow.
“That’s never coming down,” you scoffed. “You should know that. In fact, I would take it with me to my flat in London, but I have a new one I got last year on their tour.”
“I don’t know if I should be jealous or offended by that,” he laughed.
“Why would you be either of those?” you laughed.
“Because I don’t see any One Direction posters here and unless you have a poster of me at your flat…” he said.
“Yeah, sorry, I don’t,” you smirked. “You’re just not as cute.”
“Ouch!” He said, putting his hand over his heart. “I am now officially both emotions. You do realize they’re all married, right? Two of which have children, so unless you plan on being a homewrecker…”
“Well, I mean… if the opportunity arises…,” you joked.
“Wow,” he gasped. “I know what I’m getting you for Christmas. A big ass poster of me to cover your entire wall. One for here, one for your flat, and one to take with you when you travel.”
“Okay, that’s a little much,” you giggled.
“No, I don’t think so,” he laughed.
You shook your head with a laugh as you sat down on your bed, “So, what did you do today before you got dragged here?”
“Oh, nothing much, just spent some time with Mum,” he shrugged. “After she caught me sneaking back into the house this morning.”
“Smooth,” you laughed.
“What? I told you she got up early, but you wouldn’t let me get out before the sun was up,” he defended.
“Actually, you were the one to refuse to get out of bed,” you said.
“I was cold,” he shrugged. “And I didn’t feel like making the trek back to the house.”
“It’s like an extra twenty steps away,” you said.
“Anyway,” he said sitting down in your desk chair and spinning around a few days. “We have a conversation to discuss.”
“That we do,” you nodded. “Who should go first?”
“Weeellllll, since I’m the one who kinda just blurted out ‘I Love You’... why don’t you take this one next?” He suggested. “I mean it’s only fair.”
“I guess,” you sighed, dramatically laying down on the bed. “Before we discuss the next step… I need to get something off my chest. I don’t want you to take any of this the wrong way or anything…”
“Y/N, you’re rambling,” he said. “But I’ll try my best not to get upset or whatever.”
You sighed again, kicking your feet up to push yourself back up to sit on your bed.
“When you told me you loved me last night… I’ve wanted to hear those words for so long. Honestly, I think I probably would have wanted to hear those words back when we were like fourteen or something. And now that you’ve finally said them, It was like the best moment ever,” you smiled.
“Why do I sense a but coming?” He sighed.
“Because there is,” you sighed. “Even though I’ve been waiting to hear those three words and finally got them, I can’t just jump into a relationship with you because….”
“Because why?” He asked.
“We’re not the same people we were the last time we spoke, Harry,” you sighed. “We’ve gone years without even speaking a word to one another. What if we’re not the same people we fell in love with…”
“So, then you don’t love me?” He asked, confusion and hurt evident on his face.
“No, I’m not saying that,” you answered quickly. “I just… I think we need to go about this slowly because I’d rather take our time, get to know each other again, than to just jump right in and find out we’re not… you know.”
Harry hesitated for a minute before nodding, “I agree. I want to get to know you again. I want us to be closer again… and I want us to be together, but I’ll go as slow as we need to.”
You nodded, “There’s also… another thing we need to discuss.”
“Okay?” He asked.
“The whole long distance thing,” you whispered. “I know you live in London now, but eventually you’re going to go away for work or I’m going to go away for work. How do we know things won’t end like last time?”
“Because I won’t let that happen,” he said, taking your hand. “I fucked up. I know that, but I’d never do that again. I can’t… I won’t lose you again.”
“You really hurt me,” you whispered. “And it wasn’t just because you didn’t call or text, but because you were willingly spending and making time for all these other people… yet I never got that. Why? Why wasn’t I good enough back then? How do I know I’ll be good enough for you now?”
“I told you,” he said. “It was never because of you. It was me… me thinking I had to live a certain way.”
“Don’t you get it,” you said. “By you saying that, it obviously means that I didn’t fit into that way of life, Harry. I get it. I’m not some super famous and rich celebrity… I mean yeah, I’m not hurting for money, but I’m not a fucking millionaire either. I don’t own a house or have a super fancy car. I own a few designer things, but most of my clothes come from thrift shops or random shops in the city. I don’t look like someone who belongs on the cover of a magazine or in a movie or whatever. I’m just… me.”
“And that’s why I fucking love you, Y/N,” he whispered, looking into your eyes. “Do you honestly think I care about what material things you have or don’t have? Do you really think I’m that fucking shallow? I love you because you’re Y/N. My Y/N. I know we’ve changed, but everything I’ve always loved about you is still there because it’s what makes you , you.”
“I just don’t want to be the reason we don’t work out,” you whispered. “Because I’m not-”
“Hey,” he whispered. “If anyone should be worried, it’s me. I fucked our friendship, remember? I’m the one who will be leaving on tour, while you have a life here. You could easily forget about me.”
“I’ve never forgotten about you,” you told him.
“We can make this work,” he said, putting his hands on your cheeks. “We just have to let it.”
**
It was the next morning and you were typing away at your computer. You were making great progress and if everything went as planned, you would be finished with the manuscript by Christmas. You were finishing up your cup of coffee, when there was a tapping on the door.
“It’s open,” you said.
As soon as you got the words out, the door opened and Harry walked inside.
“Morning,” he smiled walking over and jumping on your bed.
You laughed, “Morning. What brings you by this early in the morning?”
“Nothing, just thought I’d see how you’re doing. Check in on your writing,” he said, looking around.
“Riiight,” you said. “I’d love to believe that, but you’re a terrible liar.”
He rolled his eyes, “I’m not lying.”
“Sure,” you said. “Whatever you say. I have about another half hour or so of writing before I’m finished with this chapter.”
“Okay, then I’ll just chill out here until you’re done,” he said.
“You’re up to something,” you said.
“Am not,” he said.
“Fine, deny it all you want, but I’ll figure it out,” you said, turning around to face your computer.
You looked back over your notes before getting back into the writing zone. After about five minutes, you felt someone staring at you. You glanced back behind you and sure enough Harry was staring at you.
“Can I help you?” You raised an eyebrow.
“Oh, what? No, I’m good,” he said.
“Then why are you staring at me?” You laughed.
“Because you look really hot when you’re writing,” he smirked.
“You’re here to makeout, aren’t you?” you said.
“Well, since you offered,” he smirked, pulling you over to the bed and on top of him.
“I have a chapter to finish,” you laughed.
“So, you can finish it after a little break,” he said.
“I like the way you think,” you giggled, pressing your lips against his.
The previous night you two had really talked over what you were feeling and what you wanted. Both of you wanted to be together, that much was obvious, but you two knew things wouldn’t be that simple. But despite all your worries and your fears, you were willing to try and you couldn’t think of a better time to do it than back at home where it all started during Christmas time.
And you couldn’t wait to see what happened next.
**
So sorry about the super late post, but I got busy and lost track of time!
Look out for Part 7 tomorrow!
#Harry Styles Imagines#Harry Styles Fics#Harry Styles Fanfictions#Harry Styles Fanfiction#Harry Styles Christmas Series
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The Fiancé: Chapter Two
Characters: Steve Rogers x Female Plus-Size Reader
Rating: E, 18+ Only
Summary: Based on the prompt ‘Character A’s ex will be at the Christmas Party A is attending. Character B poses as A’s fiancé ,’ by @alloftheprompts on tumblr. Now edited and extended!
A/N: I couldn’t get this idea out of my head recently, so here we are a year and half later. Yay!
This story includes swearing and alcohol with more tags to be added!
Masterlist
The Fiancé: Chapter One
Read on AO3
Please don’t copy or steal my work, and please don’t post it on any other sites; credit does not count.
Good Morning, Washington!
Any minute now.
Any minute.
Your face is starting to ache from having it scrunched up so you can stare through the peep-hole properly.
3... 2... 1...
He still doesn’t appear.
How is that possible? You take the briefest of pauses to glance at your watch before swiftly returning your eye to the peep-hole. It’s 7:31. He’s always out of his door every single day at 7:30 for an hour long jog, and you’ve known that for three years because the sound of his door opening and closing is basically your alarm clock. Except for today. Today, you’ve gotten up before the opening and closing of the door because you want to make damn sure you don’t encounter him on your way to work.
He’s always on time, how is he not out yet? Oh, no... Is he dead? Don’t be silly, of course he isn’t... No, he can’t be. Oh, just go.
Standing back, you exhale a short breath, adjust your bag on your shoulder and open your door. Closing it as quietly as possible behind yourself, you lock it and turn, pushing your keys into your bag.
Then you hear his door opening.
Oh, you’ve got to be fucking kidding me.
You can do nothing else but freeze and stare at Steve Rogers stepping out of his apartment. As he closes and locks his own door, his keys going into the pocket of his sweatpants, he then turns to you and gives you that warm, wide smile that has you instantly smiling in return.
“Well, good morning. I didn’t know you even knew this time of day existed.”
You tilt your head, arching an eyebrow even as you unsuccessfully try to stop your smile from widening. “A-haa, you’re so funny, they keep ignoring my emails to have that little fact put in the museums.”
A corner of his mouth lifts higher than the other as he chuckles, his hands in his pockets. “How rude of them, I’ll bring it up at the next gala commemorating me.”
You snort as you walk together, him slowing a little so you can enter the elevator first. “Please do, I can’t wait to watch the live-stream of that.”
The elevator doors close as he leans his shoulder against the wall, your hands holding the strap of your bag as you face the doors.
“That reminds me actually...” Your gaze shifts to him as he looks to you, raising his eyebrows slightly. “... Tony’s throwing a party this Saturday to celebrate Christmas, ‘super-secret boy-band style’, I believe the invitation says.” Amusement and exasperation drips from his tone. “As you can imagine, I couldn’t think of a better way to spend my weekend, but I have to go, SHIELD and Stark orders, so, I was wondering if you wanted to come with me.”
Your mouth had already opened to make a quip at Stark’s expense, and now it just stays open.
Oh, God...
The nervousness that had vanished at the ease with which he can put you instantly returns.
“Uhm...” You can’t lie. You can’t say no, because A) That’s rude, and B) you’ll just have to give him a reason why, you won’t be able to stop yourself, and you really don’t want to give the truth. “... Yes. That sounds like fun.” You don’t know how you managed to say it without sounding completely like a robot.
He tilts his head, arching an eyebrow. “Easy, you know we both wouldn’t exactly call it ‘fun’, but I just thought you might want to see some of the guys, too, I know they’d love to see you.”
Oh, I do miss Sam and Nat, when was the last time we hung out... Right, so... Okay, that’s fine, then, that settles it, it’s just a friends thing.
Your smile is a little easier to maintain now as you nod. “Sure, yeah, that does sound like fun. Closer to our kind of fun, anyway.”
He looks slightly relieved, straightening as the elevator slows and the automated voice announces, ‘Ground Floor’.
“Great. Having you around will make it a little more bearable.” The doors open and he gestures for you to step out, his smile widening. “And I do reckon you owe me for Saturday.”
Oh, shit.
You have to tell yourself to keep fucking moving and actually walk out of the elevator to the main doors of the building.
He means... Saturday. As in two days ago. As in when you were at your office Christmas party. As in when you bumped into your ex-boyfriend. As in when you told said ex-boyfriend that Steve Rogers is your fiancé. As in when Steve went along with being your fiancé. As in when he had his arm around you, called you ‘my girl’ and kissed the top of your head.
Swallowing, you quickly plaster on a smile as he catches up to you and gets the door, my God, just stop being so polite, letting you exit first.
“Oh... Yeah, well, you know...” You hope he knows because you don’t bloody know.
Letting the door swing shut and electronically lock behind him, he pushes his hands into his pockets again as you both pause on the pavement.
“Like I said, it wasn’t as awful as you painted it to be, and neither will this Stark party be, but I reckon fair is fair,” he smiles, tilting his head.
Oh. So we’re still not addressing the fiancé thing. Okay. Absolutely bloody fine.
You laugh quickly as you realise you’ve been quiet a second too long. “Oh, yeah, well, I think this party will be a lot more glamorous and the buffet a bit bigger.”
“That it will be. And a free bar, I’ve been told.”
“Oh, perfect!” You sound far too jovial about that. Hang on, that might actually help. Widening your smile, you gesture behind you. “I’d better get going, I have an early meeting.” Lies. “Thank you for the invite, though, I’d better dust off my glad-rags, see what wonders they can do for me.”
He chuckles and he’s still smiling and, oh, that smile. “Wear whatever you like, you look lovely in everything.”
You just laugh, slightly forcing it as you feel heat rise on your cheeks but, thank God, he’s already turned away, jogging off down the street. You meet a passing woman’s brief gaze and quickly drop your slightly maniacal smile, clearing your throat. It must have been really maniacal, actually, as her eyes quickly dart back to you and she frowns.
All righty.
Turning on your heel, you start to stride down the street, your mind buzzing.
Oh, God...
You have a crush on Steve Rogers. Of course you have a crush on Steve Rogers, who doesn’t? But the absolute last thing in the world you want to do is ruin your friendship. You’d moved to D.C three years ago, on pretty much a whim, well, and a job offer, and a friend insisting it would be the best thing for you, not just your career... and it had been. You’d made such a good friend in Steve, and others, you loved your job, and... God, you really did not want to ruin any of it.
At the party, you’d nearly blown it, you still can’t believe you’d even said it. Steve had had every right to just laugh or frown at you or say his version of ‘what the fuck’, (’now hang on a second’), and you would have completely understood and forgiven him... Except he was the kindest man in the entire universe, so of course he’d just gone along with it, cracked one joke afterwards and not mentioned it again. Granted, it had only been an evening and a full day ago, but you were always messaging each other and it still hadn’t come up. Even on the ride back from the party, he’d driven, you’d just talked about the changing weather, sung along to a few songs on the radio and chatted about how you were each going to spend your Sunday.
Well, maybe, actually, it had been you talking about the weather, you singing along to the radio, and you talking about your Sunday. You had asked him how he was going to spend the next day, though... and asked question after question. Oh, he was going to watch a game at Sam’s? And Bucky was going to be there? How nice, how were they, by the way? Oh, how nice, that’s good, oh, look, back at the apartment!
Even when you’d messaged him yesterday it had just been to talk about the game, how the boys were and to send pictures of Sam’s new TV. Steve was either being very gracious and just letting it pass, or it just didn’t bother him at all, or even occur to him to talk about it.
Either way, you certainly weren’t going to bring it up.
With two weeks to go until Christmas, the weather was certainly colder, and, boy, did you feel it. Wishing you’d remembered your gloves in all the rushing around, you quickened your pace, shoving your anxieties away and dreaming of the hot drinks machine in the office kitchen.
Oh, hooo, I’m coming for you.
—
Stepping out of the elevator, you breathe a sigh of relief as the warmth of the office instantly washes over you. It’s a quiet space in a large building that houses everything from a law firm to a high-end fashion magazine, so you love this little floor of peace.
Book-publishing wasn’t something five-year-old you had dreamed of going in to, but you loved it. You loved discovering and meeting new, exciting authors, making their dreams come true, spreading their voice and imagination to the masses, and, hey, getting to read the proof-copies before the rest of the world is definitely a perk.
People in your office are lovely and calm, too, and despite the running joke that they’d have first dibs on Captain America’s only authorised biography should it ever come to fruition, no one really brings your friendship up unless you do. Smiling at the receptionist, Dolly, she returns it with a wide beam, which isn’t so unusual, she’s the happiest and most positive person you’ve ever met, until you realise she’s shoved her chair back and is darting around the desk to catch up with you.
She probably got up to something exciting at the weekend and can’t wait to tell me. She’s always doing exciting things, I wish I had the energy to do exciting things.
Walking along with you as you pass desks, only a couple of people here as it’s only 8:27 a glance at your watch tells you, Dolly is still beaming.
“So...”
“So...?” you prompt after a few moments as she just looks at you, exhaling a laugh.
You can always have a laugh with Dolly, she’s always ready to.
“Is there something you want to tell me?”
Oh, shit, it’s not her birthday, is it? No, it’s in May, we went to the Mexican restaurant across the road and got free tequila shots.
Raising your eyebrows as you smile in bemusement, you laugh again. “Uh, not really. Oh, I’m happy to see you, as always?”
She laughs, shaking her head. “You’re so coy!”
Pushing your office door open, you frown even as you continue smiling because what the hell is going on. “About what?”
She raises her arms as she stares at you, watching you place your bag on your desk and shrug your thick coat off. “’About what’?! Are you kidding me?”
Am I dreaming right now.
Sitting down in your chair, you raise your hands slightly, palms up. “I don’t actually understand what’s going on right now.”
Her hands go to her hips as she looks at you, amazed. “You’ve always been so damn good at keeping secrets, SHIELD should recruit you, I’ve always said it.”
“Well, that’s very kind of you to say, but I really don’t know what’s going on, Dolly.” Turning your computer on, you raise your eyebrows.
A wide smile breaks out across her features as she raises her arms again. “Your engagement, you secretive little secret-keeper!”
Your mouth drops open as you stare at her, one hand hovering over the keyboard, the other on your mouse.
“... I’m sorry?”
“Gwen heard you telling Joe at the party!” She’s grinning. She’s beaming. She’s delighted. “I get why you’d want to keep it a secret, but I’m so pleased you’re deciding to tell people!”
“Oh, my God... Dolly—”
“Oh, is it still a secret?” Her arms drop as she glances at the rest of the office but luckily no one’s close by. “Okay, all right, I’ll make sure no one gossips, I’ll put a stop to it if I hear any.” She grins again. “Until you tell people that is.” As you open your mouth to speak, she gives a little squeal and presses a hand over her heart. “I’m just so, so happy for you, babe, I can’t wait to hear all about it!”
I’m not dreaming. This is actually a nightmare. Or hell. Hell would be more deserving.
“Dolly, I, uhm, I actually—”
“Oh, shoot, sorry,” she interrupts, pulling a face as you hear the phone at her desk ringing. “Guess the day’s started.” Beaming, she blows you a kiss as she heads out of the door, pulling it closed behind her... but not before mouthing, “I love you, I’m so happy for you.”
You just watch her through the large window. Watch her march down the aisle in her heels. She always has great heels. Unique and stylish ones. Ah, yeah, she has a friend at the fashion magazine on the 21st floor. And you’re down here. On the 11th floor. Staring out of a window at your friend. Having an out of body experience.
You blink a few times as you sit back, frowning at yourself before you exhale a laugh.
Oh, come on, now, get a grip. Just call her once she’s finished with whoever she’s talking to, and then it’ll be fine, you’ll laugh about it, laugh about it some more when you have lunch, and then maybe laugh about it a bit more later. It’ll be hilarious.
Clearing your throat, you sign-in to your computer and open the internet browser. You usually check your phone first thing in the morning, but having been too preoccupied frantically running around trying to get ready to evade a certain someone, you haven’t had the chance yet. As Head of Marketing, you like to know what’s going on pretty much every second of the day on social media, see what trends there are and see what people are saying about the company’s books.
The browser opens onto a round-up of the news stories of the day, as it always does so you can get a quick overview of what’s going on, and you start to glance over them.
And then you freeze.
Oh, fucking hell.
Fucking Jesus Christ.
Headlines are jumping out at you, screaming.
Cap’s New Flame!
Who’s On The Guest List For The Wedding of The Century?!
Downtown NY Wedding Boutique Says It’s Already Making A Dress!
I Pledge Allegiance To... Who?!
You click on a random article and instantly start to read, your mouth open.
Good morning, Washington! What news we have for you! Previously linked to former SHIELD Director Peggy Carter in the 40s, then her niece, Sharon Carter, a few years ago, Cap’s love-life has since been as still as the ice he was found in... until now! Who is the mysterious lady who’s rumoured to be Steve’s fiancée? There’s no word yet on her name or even what she looks like, but we’ll keep you up-to-date with minute-by-minute re-caps (pun not intended!) and updates! Click the alarm for notifications, or subscribe...
That’s why the woman on the street had stared. Quite a few people had stared actually. Some had even whispered. You’d just chalked it up to your usual anxieties but... Oh, God.
There’s a knock on your door.
Your gaze drifts up to find Dolly opening it, biting at her lower lip as she leans in. She’s not smiling anymore.
“Uh... It’s the, uhm, editor of the Washington Post on line 1, she, uhm... She’d like to schedule an interview.”
You stare at her, frozen, feeling hot and cold all at once.
Oh my fucking God.
—
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Daybreak | Part Eighteen
Pairing: Steve Harrington x Lab Escapee! Reader?
Summary: Part eighteen of this fic. Steve and Nine must leave the house and stumble upon — ?
Word Count: 3,300 +
Warning(s): Cussing
A/N: Yay! I think that I have an idea of where the next few chapters are going (and then... *whispers* conclusion?) Enjoy!
P.S. watch Joe Keery’s new movie Spree! I did! It’s great! :-)
The two sat in Steve’s familiar car (doors locked, double-checked) with the windows down, breeze against both of their faces as he cruised down even more familiar roads. They had made a successful escape through his bedroom window earlier: Steve first, Nine second with a perhaps overly-cautious helping hand to guide her down. “I don’t know why I didn’t think of this earlier,” Steve said when her shoes hit the pavement of his back patio. He hadn’t bid farewell to either one of his parents, but it wasn’t necessary as long as they couldn’t find him if they went looking.
After a solid half-hour of aimless loops around town, the car’s gaslight began to blink. “Shit,” Steve muttered, turning the wheel down a new road. “I have to stop to get gas,” he said, his head drifting from the road to glance to his passenger. “It will only take a minute,” he reassured.
Five more minutes and he pulled in slowly to a gas station, exhaling with relief at it’s empty state. “You can stay in the car,” he told Nine. She looked to him and nodded with a smile, happy to oblige. He slung his door open lazily, exiting the car as Nine shifted in her seat. She pulled her left arm in front of her, eyes catching the vibrancy of red leaking through layers of white bandage it wore. Warily, she dragged a finger against the stain, and took it away to see that same red on her finger pad. “Shit,” she said, copying Steve.
He returned to his seat, a gas pump sticking out of the side of the car where he had been standing. Sitting again, he gazed over at Nine. “Oh,” he said, then turning in his seat so that he could see her better. He caught sight of her concern and reached out a hand. “Here, lemme see,” he said gently. She offered him her arm and he turned it tenderly, assessing the damage of the day’s activities. “There’s a small store down the road from here. We can stop there and pick up some more bandages, fix you up,” he proposed. The gas pump clicked, signaling that the tank was full.
The newly-filled-up car pulled into a parking place in front of an indeed small store, and once again Steve was reassured by the lack of action in the lot. There were a couple more vehicles than the gas station (which had been completely empty) held, but none of them were tall, white vans that implied severe danger. He made sure to check, as if a five-second head start to peel out of the storefront would make all the difference if one had been there. “I’ll be right back, any requests?” Steve asked Nine as he stood, a hand on the top of the car as he leaned down to peer in from outside.
“Can I come with you?” she asked.
“Uh… I meant, like, snack requests,” he replied, his words stalling as he thought over his ask. “But, um, you can. Are you sure?”
“Yeah,” Nine said, a hand reaching to unbuckle her seat belt. She took the hat that had been sitting on the dashboard from its last use as she slid from the car.
She jogged around the front of the car to Steve and he laughed quietly. They walked together now, and he slung an arm around her shoulder, pulling her towards him with ease. His forearm draped down her front side as he spoke softly, something close to a whisper-in-her-ear. “You know, I’m starting to think that the hat doesn’t do much,” he teased. She pulled her head back, looking at him with the beginnings of a smile. A hand reached up from her side and she plucked it from herself. Holding it by the brim, she pulled it down over Steve’s head instead. “Hey! Not cool,” he said, flicking up the front of the hat that had covered his eyes. He took the hat off and gave his head a shake in an attempt to fix his hair from it’s damage. “It looks better on you, anyway,” he admitted, placing it back on Nine’s head and dragging his hand down the front of the brim to cover her eyes as it had his. She tossed her head up to give Steve a bemused smile from underneath the hat’s cover.
The store was mostly empty when they walked in. The buzzing of some unrecognizable song played through speakers too cheap to work without the hum of electrical problems masking the music’s lyrics. The cashier supposed-to-be greeter didn’t look up from her magazine when the bell in front of the door rang to signify their entry, but the two wandered past her without care anyway. A few steps down one aisle and the shuffling of objects in the neighboring one made Steve creep backwards, stretching out his neck to peek around the corner at the commotion.
Joyce Byers stood, far too occupied to notice spying Steve, using one arm to shovel boxes of Christmas lights into her cart, and the other to keep the cart steady. He contemplated her actions for a moment — squinted confusion — then reached a hand out in front of him to gently grab for Nine who was a slow step ahead of him and unaware of his departure. She twisted around lightly at the sensation of his touch (fingertips brushing her arm, just out of reach) then sent him a puzzled look of which he did not see. He pulled himself back up then, and whispered so only Nine would hear.
“Will’s mom is here, I have to talk to her,” he informed, throwing in a “she’s trustworthy,” afterwards to settle her nerves about being seen.
Rounding the corner, Steve hesitated with his introduction, wondering if he should clear his throat like he had caught Joyce in the middle of something. “Hi, Ms. Byers,” he called out, a little bit of something — perhaps he adopted a shyness — to his voice.
She turned around sharply, bumping her arm against the handle of her cart and rattling the contents inside. Stacks of the Christmas lights Steve had watched her throw into a pile sat on top of a few lamps as the foundation of her basket. She would hit the light bulb section next, not bothering to count the number she’d need for however many lamps she had claimed before sweeping them on top of the pile. Her hair fell in front of her face as she jolted to Steve’s voice, and a hand reached up quickly to tuck it behind her ear — an action taken less to look presentable and more to be able to see whoever was advancing on her. Shoulders deflating from the scare, Joyce sighed and tried on a smile that looked a little too forced. “Hi, Steve,” she returned.
“We- uh. We were just here to pick up a few things and saw you,” he started explaining his hello. “Oh. This is Nina, she’s a friend,” he said, lifting a hand to waver in front of Nine as he introduced her politely. Joyce, as if she hadn’t even noticed the girl, lit up her face in a look of corrective surprise. “Oh!” she sang, another solemn grin but also an accompanying hand stretched out for a shake. Nine, caught a little off-guard herself, took the handshake with a kind smile. “Hi,” she said, pondering a second after if she should tell Joyce it’s ‘nice to meet her,’ (people say that, right?) then realizing that she waited too long to decide. Steve sweeped the conversation right back up anyways.
“How are you? Um- like, is there anything we can do?” he said, unable to decide on a question. How is one supposed to speak to someone with a missing child? What are the right things to say? Did he already mess up? He wondered for a second if this was one of those situations where you just don’t mention the elephant in the room, it’d be rude to bring it up. He then mentally scolded himself for even considering that to be the right route to take. It’d be inconsiderate not to, he assured himself.
Nine could have sworn she saw Joyce flinch when he asked his questions, as if it would break the role of happy mother she was playing to answer them. “Um - you know -” (he didn’t) “Just doing everything I can. I think people are starting to think I’m crazy”. She tried to laugh, but it came out sounding even more forced than the smile had appeared.
Steve held his breath a moment, replaying the mental picture that had been on loop in his mind since Dustin told him Will was missing. The mental picture of Will himself, the night Steve and Nine dropped him off at home, opening the door to his house and disappearing inside. Steve worried repeatedly if this particular moment he had often called upon was a mix-up, a recollection of a different night he had conveniently changed the time stamp on. He kept asking himself if he really saw Will go inside that night. He did, right? It wasn’t just his guilty subconscious protecting him by substituting memories, right?
“You’re not crazy,” Nine unexpectedly spoke. Steve glanced at her then quickly retreated his gaze.
“Thank you,” Joyce said with a sincere smile that faded into silence.
Wanting to recover, Steve opened his mouth to speak again, but Joyce turned suddenly to gesture to her cart. “I guess this doesn’t really help my look,” she said as she peered over the mountain of electrical supplies.
“What is it all for?” Steve asked, thankful for both the recoup in conversation and new attention paid to the second elephant in the room.
Joyce shifted on her feet, hesitant and unsure of how to continue. She was starting to realize her lack of skill in answering questions. “I- I’m going to sound… I’m going to sound delusional,” she said. For the first time in the conversation her voice fizzled out, became weaker with clear indication of tears that wished to join the dialogue. “I feel like Will is trying to communicate with me”.
Steve’s eyebrows jumped and he staggered over a reply. “Wh- wait, what? Did he call or something? Did someone take him-” he stopped as Joyce began to shake her head.
“No, no, nothing like that. He just…” she trailed off, refusing eye contact as she searched for the words. “The lights”.
“The lights?” Steve glanced at her shopping cart once more.
“They flicker. And I know it doesn’t make sense but- but I feel like it’s him.”
There is another silence as the two process Joyce’s words - interpretations independent of one another withheld from sharing as she waits for a reaction. Steve first considers the woman in front of him, her cart of lights and missing child, and has to wonder if she is (as politely as he could put it) losing it. He then acknowledges the woman to the side of him, steals another glance in her direction as he remembers how he met her and what she can do, the reason they’re in the store in the first place and how they came to be in the situation. Maybe Joyce was doing just fine.
Nine’s head quirked as she tilted it a little in confusion. Confusion or realization — her mind connecting dots, checking boxes on a recently developed mental checklist that helps her decide if something is just peculiar enough to be related back to her. Flickering lights, like the flashlights Steve, Dustin, and her swung from limp wrists in the forest. Flickering lights, like the ones above her head in the lab that made her close her eyes tight when her powers left them flashing too erratically.
“You feel like it’s Will?” Steve said. The realization began to dawn on him that this is a heavy conversation to be having in a shitty, run-down store that’s only still in business because the town it’s in is too small to let it die. And so he deliver’s his response a tad quieter, suddenly itching for a bit more privacy.
“I know how it sounds… but that’s why-” and she gestured to her cart again. “I have to find out”.
“No- um,” Steve stumbles for a logical response. “I get it,” he tells her, “you’d do anything to find him”.
Nine hadn’t gotten a chance to choke over her own response. Instead she was still thinking up ways she could somehow help the woman she had just met who stood sad and small in front of her.
Steve inhaled, cutting short her chance as he redirected the conversation. “Well we- we’re just here for some bandages. Um-” Is it rude to just shift the topic like this? He’s second-guessing himself more often than he’s used to. “Nina scraped herself up pretty bad earlier.” Nine looks down at her arm, a problem completely forgotten from her mind despite the still growing red leak showing through the bandage. It was stinging, too, she remembered. “We’re here, though. Any help you need — we’re going to find Will. I know that,” he finished.
Consoling looks shared between thank-you’s concluded the conversation within the minute. Now the groups backed away from one another, heads turned to watch the departure and toss solemn smiles for the other to catch. A few awkward strides and Steve and Nine were rounding the corner of the isle, shuffling to redirect their attention back to their errands. Neither of them were brave enough to talk again with Joyce so close in the otherwise silent store. And so Steve led Nine down the closest row of shelves, eyes glossing over the products lined up on each one but not quite focused enough to register what they were (what did they even come here for, again?).
He moved hurriedly, putting as much space as possible between them and the woman he could only assume was still stockpiling light bulbs. On his third twist around an end-cap, Nine reached a hand out to grasp onto his wrist and stop him from continuing his march. He turned to her easily, eyebrows perked as if he didn’t understand why she stopped their search (...for… oh, yes! bandages). She kept her eyes on his face, and after a moment it gave into a look of distress; brows quirking again, this time dipping downwards with a sadness he wasn’t able to disguise anymore. Big brown eyes so somber, he looked like a puppy someone had just kicked.
“Steve,” Nine said, and her voice was pacifying — a quilted warmth that fit snug around his name.
A determined hand — the one Nine had dropped from her gentle hold — reached from his side and rubbed once underneath his eye. He hadn’t started crying yet but his vision was wet, and he was trying to scare the tears away. Unsettled breathes made his chest rise and fall quickly while he tried to catch up with his brain’s sudden increased demand for oxygen. Nine said his name again, conciliatory tone still present and pretty. “What’s wrong?” she asked.
He was looking down at her, but when he spoke he took his eyes away from hers. Instead his gaze darted around the store to fixate on anything else. “I can’t-” he started, his own voice weak and damaged from his body’s anxiety. He tried to center himself enough to talk, blinking irritatedly in an attempt to get rid of that threat of tears he hadn’t forgotten about. He was shaking his head now as he worked up the breath to continue, “I was responsible for her kid. She- she trusted me. I was supposed to get him home safe and now she has to deal with the fact that I failed.” He looked to her again — either her turn to react or his turn to take another breath.
“Steve, it’s not-”
“I can’t even remember if I made sure he got inside that night. I don’t know what happened and I’m too fucking stupid to remember.”
“Don’t say that,” Nine said, but her words were pushed away.
“She thinks she’s losing her mind. And she might be, I don’t even know, but I know I could have done something.” His words were picking up speed alongside his heaving chest. A tear finally escaped his vision but he was too focused on his speech of self-hatred to notice. It traced down the length of his cheek but he didn’t feel it.
“No you couldn’t have,” Nine told him, and she sounded sorry. “Steve, look at me”.
And he did, face still painted with pain. “You can’t remember that night because of shock. Your brain is trying to fixate on every detail but it can’t happen. You’re not stupid.” She said her words like she was so sure of them (because she was), but Steve looked skeptical at best. Nine continued anyway, reassurance incomplete and will with unwavering persistence. “You didn’t fail at anything. You’re a good friend to those kids and a good guardian, too. Something happened that night that was out of our control. Something from Hawkins’ Lab happened.”
He sighed this time, eyebrows furrowing as another tear dropped.
“You told me it wasn’t my fault that Will was taken, and now I’m telling you that it wasn’t yours, either.”
For a moment he simply thought about her words — a long moment that convinced her that he didn’t believe them. His lips parted to speak but he only took in air to hold it in his lungs. Another second passed and his shoulders fell; perhaps he was giving in. Giving into what she told him, giving into her, and he reached downwards to wrap his arms impulsively around her body still somehow warm from the outside sun. She let him, of course, and felt his fingers squeeze around the fabric of her shirt. With his head burrowed between her neck and her shoulder, his hold was desperate and he breathed out a huff of air that felt built up, heavy against her neck. She hugged him back, and while he closed his eyes tight, she understood that this was both a thank-you and a release.
-
A single bag with a lone item dangled from Steve’s grip as they walked, side-by-side again, through the parking lot. Joyce, a few minutes ahead of them, spun her cart around by the handle so that she could stack her purchases in the backseat of her car. Seeing her from afar, that nagging resumed in Nine’s head, reminding her of her aching desire to somehow help the woman.
“We have to help her,” Nine said, and her walking slowed. She didn’t look away from Joyce when Steve turned to face her, and she missed his visibly confused reaction. “What?” his disorientation still managed it’s way into his voice, though, and for a moment he thought that she meant they should assist Joyce with her shopping bags.
“We have to go to her house, see what she’s talking about”.
“Nine, hold on-”
“If she can contact Will then maybe I can figure out where he is. No more wandering around the forest unsure of what we’re even looking for. I can find him. I can actually find him this time and get him out of there. Steve, I-” she pulled her eyes away from Joyce and looked wildly at Steve.
“Wait, slow down,” he told her, jumbling to catch up with her rapidly developing plan.
“Steve, we can save him,” she said.
He paused at this, and the bag at his side swayed lightly. Then, looking off to where Nine had been so focused, he studied the woman so integral to the plan.
“Okay, I’m in. If you think we can save Will, I’m definitely in,” he told her, unmoving. He brought his head back to Nine after a moment of delay. “She doesn’t know… know about you, though. How are we going to… do this?”
Nine paused herself. “...I guess we let her know”.
---
A/N: Realizing how sad these characters have been these past few chapters... they’re going through a lot, okay?! Can’t promise it will get more uplifting right away, but I have... plans. Whatdoya think?
Tag List: @ggclarissa @gurl-ly @hyp-oh-critical @alewifex @we-are-band-sexuals @cpt-lamby @l0ve-0f-my-life @easvtohate @used-avocado @kwyloz @itzpikapie @samwise-babeyy @1985keery @kaelyn-lobrutto24 @mochminnie @peterwandaparker @ayamecrevan @lilyhw1 @seninjakitey @lulurose17 @write-from-the-heart @harringtonlr @sledgy14 @stranger-names
#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve x reader#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington fic#steve harrington imagine#st fic#stranger things#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things fic#ST fanfic#joe keery#joyce byers
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I have decided to post my list of all the stuff I watched this year (that I kept track of anyway!), so you can understand why I am incredibly not productive at reading, writing, or keeping my house clean.
Italics are used to indicate rewatches!
Movies Watched In 2020
January
1. Star Wars: The Rise of Skywalker (Ehh!)
2. The Biggest Little Farm (yay! nature! i guess.)
3. Cats (oof - but also, amazing!)
4. Like A Boss (I honestly barely remember what this is at this point. A relic from an age where we went to the movies just because we were bored!)
5. The Turning (NOPE! Thank God we got Bly Manor later in the year!)
6. You, Me, and Him (Very promising premise. Lucy Punch and David Tennant are there, even. But BAD!!!!!!!!)
7. Dolittle (Going to the movies just because you’re bored: Part 2)
8. Miss Americana (YES!!!!!)
9. THE VELOCIPASTOR (YES!!!!!!)
February
10. Knives Out (a good ‘un)
11. A Little Princess (the BEST ‘un)
12. Enchanted (always an important rewatch!)
13. Birds of Prey (x2!) (THE ONLY WAY TO WATCH BIRDS OF PREY. can you believe that in this calendar year, i got to go see birds of prey in the theatre twice?)
14. Austenland (ALWAYS!)
15. Vita & Virginia (found it kind of a slog but might try it again someday)
16. Honey Boy (my boyfriend wanted to watch it okay)
17. Brittany Runs A Marathon (a decent dramedy time!)
18. Ideal Home (like sherlock holmes always called irene adler the woman, i always call this movie The Movie)
19. To All The Boys 2 (okay, with pretty colors and stuff!)
20. Best in Show (can you believe it took me this long to see it??)
21. Tell It To The Bees (nooooooooooooo! don’t tell ME about it, anyway!)
22. Napoleon Dynamite (PERFECTION ITSELF WAS ACHIEVED IN THE YEAR 2004!)
March
23. Mr. Right (trying to remember what this was. i think it’s that movie with anna kendrick and sam rockwell! in which case: a solid action romcom, VERY fun chemistry betwixt them!)
24. Mansfield Park (1999) (always a good ‘un full of hot mess people!)
25. Wild Nights With Emily (YES!)
26. Emma. (and on that day, we all knew austen aesthetic perfection)
27. Fighting with my Family (a solid watch always. plus: a movie about a teenage girl with no love interest!!!!! i am STILL thrilled about that.)
28. Jojo Rabbit (laugh-sob!)
29. Last Christmas (laugh-sob ft. emma thompson! emilia clarke make me one million more movies in the romcom-ish department! you were made to be sparkling and hilarious!)
30. Roman Holiday (this was the first time i’d seen this movie as an adult and it owned my whole soul)
31. The Big Year (i like birds and jack black and rashida jones and movies that feature alaska. who doesn’t?)
April
32. Onward (this was fun!)
33. Parasite (this was fun, and then it TEARS YOUR SOUL OUT!)
34. Love. Wedding. Repeat. (.............. NO. do not, under any circumstances, repeat. why would you use sam claflin like this?)
35. Damsel (mia wasikowska and rpattz cool western weirdness!)
36. Jane Goodall: The Hope (jane goodall rules!!!!!!)
37. The Secret Garden (PERFECTION ITSELF, like and yet not at all like napoleon dynamite)
38. Portrait of a Lady on Fire (such a beautiful and aesthetically exquisite film!)
May
39. Sense & Sensibility (1995) (ALWAYS)
40. That Thing You Do (i still had the soundtrack 100% memorized from my childhood!)
41. Click (DO NOT RECOMMEND)
42. Much Ado About Nothing (2011) - Not a movie, but it was 2 hours and 40 minutes so I'm counting it! Such a joy to see the T&T Delight Factory up to their antics in classic romcom shape! (that was my original note when i put it on the list; i stand by it. WHERE IS OUR TENNANT/TATE MARRIEDS SHOW?)
43. The Half of It (so good!)
44. Yes Man (i mean ... it happened!)
45. The Lovebirds (not amazing BUT a very fun pair of characters)
June
46. If Beale Street Could Talk (beautiful! heartbreaking!)
47. Her (i mean ............ okay.)
48. A Mighty Wind (do you ever feel like eugene levy is eugene levy-ing TOO hard?)
49. Rocketman (a great ‘un!)
50. The King of Staten Island (i had some feelings! pete davidson did good!)
51. Guess Who’s Coming To Dinner (hey! i watched a classic movie this year! it was good! it felt more modern than i expected!)
52. Cat People (1982) - GOD HELP ME (my original note; i stand by it)
53. Blow the Man Down (aaaaaaaaahhhhhhh!!!!!!!!)
54. Outside In (what is this? i guess i’ll have to google it. oh! it was a lynn shelton movie! poignant and weird.)
55. The Hundred-Foot Journey (really nice if you want the feeling of going to very aesthetically pleasing europe without actually being able to go to europe! plus: FOOD)
56. The Good Liar (oh my god this movie was BLEAK and i wanted it to be FUN, damn it!)
57. The Blackcoat's Daughter (I hated watching this ... SO MUCH!!!!!!!)
58. Eurovision Song Contest: the Story of Fire Saga (I loved watching this ... SO MUCH!!!)
July
59. Carrie Pilby (i mean, it happened)
60. Big Eden (so sweet!!!!!! this dude also made the family stone and i’ve realized i kind of love his movie style.)
61. Love Jacked (some classic made-for-tv-level romcom goodness!)
62. Uncut Gems (AAAAAAAAAH)
63. Late Night (i mean, it’s mindy kaling and emma thompson, come on)
64. Spaceship Earth (i watched a documentary! i’m a really smart person now, guys! like, if you asked me what this documentary was about, i would say, “blah blah blah blah, blah blah blah blah blah!”, giving you the exact right answer!)
65. Desperados (BAD, but a winston/aly reunion is not something i’m gonna turn my nose up at)
66. Palm Springs (so good!!!!!!)
67. Hannah Gadsby: Douglas (so good!!!!!!!!)
August
68. Summerland (SO GOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!)
69. Outlaw King (no thank you please! i just wanted the whole thing to be about chris pine and florence pugh’s arranged marriage, because i am me)
70. 10 Cloverfield Lane (a forever gothic fave!)
71. Crimson Peak (another forever gothic fave! [we were watching all these because my boyfriend was writing a paper about all my gothic faves])
72. Get Out (see above!)
September
73. Rear Window (what a zany time this movie is! grace kelly = PERFECT, window guy with broken leg whose name i’ve forgotten = A DAMN FOOL for stringing her along)
74. Little Women (2019) (i mean, you don’t need to hear me talk about this even more)
75. Ex Machina (gothic fave again!!!!!!!!!!)
76. Enola Holmes (this movie really just made me so happy with its bright sunny aesthetic and enola being epic, hilarious, plucky, and awesome)
77. Parasite (again! this time for the whole modern gothic movies purpose! by this point me and the bf were starting to get kind of depressed/freaked out!)
78. Leap Year (MY LOVE, MY LIFE)
October
79. The Witches (1990) (um. WHAT! i thank the good lord that i never saw this as a child, because it would have been the mental ruin of me.)
80. Hubie Halloween (hey, it happened in front of my eyeballs, okay!)
81. Rebecca (2020) (x2) (yes. i watched it twice for some reason. and by ‘some reason,’ i mean SHIPPING MRS. DW 2 AND MRS. DANVERS BECAUSE WHY NOT, THEY WERE VIBIN’!)
82. The Witches (2020) (would NOT scar me for life; i did find it nicer than critics seemed to)
83. The Addams Family (i mean, *chef’s kiss*)
84. Addams Family Values (DEBBIE IS MY HERO!)
85. Holidate (this was dumb but also quite fun?)
86. Hocus Pocus (THE essential october watch! god, i miss the 90s.)
87. Ready or Not (s’more excellent halloween viewing! i didn’t find this movie quite as fun rewatching as i did the first time around, but danged if it’s not a great lead performance.)
November
88. Downhill (well, no. i guess what this gave to my lif was when i read the new ruth ware novel shortly after this, i was like, “dang, avalanches are really factoring into my fiction lately!” and that’s what this movie gave me. would have loved to see a stronger movie from these actors!)
89. My Best Friend's Wedding (rewatchin’ a classic! this movie kind of rules?)
90. Easy A (the parents are my lifespiration always!)
91. Ideal Home ❤️❤️❤️ (sometimes, you watch a movie you love very much yet again, and your soul cannot rest until you put three heart emojis beside its title)
92. Jingle Jangle: A Christmas Journey (so fun and pretty to look upon!)
93. The Invisible Man (2020) (AAAAAAAH! this was a great movie.)
94. An American Pickle (rather poignant and diverting!)
95. The Princess Switch (i don’t know why the exact degree of sweet stupidity in these movies charms me so, but it does. it does!)
96. The Princess Switch 2 (EVEN BETTER! MORE VANESSAS TO SWITCH!)
97. Big Miracle (alaska movie!!!!!!! with lots of great people in it!!!!!)
98. Happiest Season (i mean, i don’t know. i’ve read so much discourse on either side of the issue that i just DON’T KNOW. it happened! i watched it!)
99. Miss Pettigrew Lives For A Day (AMY ADAMS BEING PERFECT, FRANCES MCDORMAND BEING PERFECT, LEE PACE BEING PERFECT, CIARAN HINDS BEING PERFECT)
100. The Family Stone (i hated this movie when it first came out but i loved it watching it this time around??? i love movies when it’s a bunch of people just interacting within a small, not very dramatic setting. that’s my catnip.)
December
101. Godmothered (i love the f/f version i made up in my head)
102. Little Nicky (yeah! that’s right! i watched little nicky this year! i blame spn!)
103. Emma (2020) (sometimes a girl needeth a rewatch)
104. The Secret Garden (2020) (nah.)
105. Batman Returns (WHAT!)
106. Batman Forever (WHAT!!!)
107. The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (i did it! i finally watched them!)
108. The Holiday (i, no joke, love this movie more every single time i watch it.)
109. Little Women (1994) (SAME!)
110. The Hobbit 2 (probably the one i enjoyed the least in the trilogy? but also: tauriel!)
111. Little Women (2019) (some years, you just keep watching cinema auteur greta gerwig’s adaptation of little women.)
112. Wonder Woman 1984 (*shrug*)
113. The Hobbit 3 (i actually liked this one, maybe the best of the lot! but not enough to include the actual title in my list!)
and my list of tv for the year, but sans commentary because i’m tired. if you want to ask what i thought of anything, go right ahead! you’re sure to get a thrilling answer!!
TV Shows Watched in 2020
January
Spinning Out, Season 1
New Girl, Full Series
Grace and Frankie, Season 6
The Mandalorian, Season 1
Sex Education, Season 2
February
The Crown, Season 1
Sanditon, Season 1
Locke & Key, Season 1
The Crown, Season 2
Fresh Off The Boat, Season 6
March
Hillary, Full Series
(Huh, something weird must have happened this month! Ahahahaha ......)
April
The Office, Full Series
Anne with an E, Season 1
Happy Endings, Full Series
Avenue 5, Season 1
Derry Girls, Full Series
The Kingdom of the White Wolf
May
Never Have I Ever, Season 1
Zoey’s Extraordinary Playlist, Season 1
Good Girls, Season 3
Bless This Mess, Season 2
Sense & Sensibility (2008), Full Series
The Last Man On Earth, Full Series
Broadchurch, Full Series
The Great, Season 1
The Mick, Full Series
Poldark, Season 5
June
Beecham House, Season 1
Wanted, Seasons 1-3
The Baby-Sitters Club, Season 1
July
Anne with an E, Full Series
The Mindy Project, Full Series
Four Weddings and a Funeral, Full Series
This Is Us, Season 4
The Big Flower Fight, Season 1
Atlanta, Season 1
Catastrophe, Full Series
August
Lovesick, Full Series
The Miniaturist, Full Series
Harley Quinn, Season 1
Doctor Who, Season 1
Episodes, Full Series
Harley Quinn, Season 2
The Comeback, Full Series
Doctor Who, Season 2
Torchwood, Season 1
September
Reign, Season 1
Reign, Season 2
Doctor Who, Season 3
Torchwood, Season 2
Escape to the Chateau, Season 1-Season 4
The Duchess, Season 1
Torchwood, Children of Earth
Superstore, Season 1-3
Reign, Season 3
October
Superstore, Season 4-5
Emily in Paris, Season 1
Over the Garden Wall, Full Series
Doctor Who, Season 4
Pen15, Season 2
Last Tango in Halifax, Season 5
Reign, Season 4
The Haunting of Bly Manor
Doctor Who, Season 5
The Baby-Sitters Club, Season 1
Dickinson, Season 1
November
Ted Lasso, Season 1
Flesh and Blood, Full Series
Supernatural, Season 1
Supernatural, Season 2
Brooklyn 99, Seasons 1-7
Miracle Workers, Season 1
Supernatural, Season 3
I Hate Suzie, Season 1
December
Supernatural, Season 4
Dash and Lily, Full Series
Supernatural, Season 5
Supernatural, Season 6
The Undoing, Full Series
Life in Pieces, Full Series
The Flight Attendant, Season 1
Ghosts, Series 1-2
Doctor Who, Season 6
Supernatural, Season 7
Doctor Who, Season 7
His Dark Materials, Season 2
Bridgerton, Season 1
#dollsome's deep thoughts#sort of#how else do i label the tv and movie consumption which shapes my being?
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Survey #387
“today i woke up, & i hate myself”
What common problem have you never experienced? The loss of a close family member (that doesn't include pets).
Alternatively, what's an uncommon problem you have experienced? Homelessness.
Do you know anyone who opposes marriage equality? I sure do.
What was the last thing you got really emotional about? Meerkat Manor: Rise of the Dynasty premiering.
What's the longest amount of time you've been ill for? I don't really know. I don't get sick a lot at all.
Who is your closest male friend? Girt.
Do you know anyone who hunts for meat? Sadly. I say "sadly" because it's not like they need it.
Have you ever lived with a boyfriend/girlfriend? Yes, although I wasn't a technical resident. I was there all the time, though.
What do you wash dishes with? Sponge, scrub brush, rag, something else? A sponge.
Is there anything you prefer to do the old-fashioned way? There's probably something, but I can't think of anything.
Do you put your glasses and mugs right side up or upside down on the cabinet shelf? Upside-down.
What was the worst part of your childhood? My parents fighting.
Have you ever seen a high school relationship last long-term? (like 10+yrs) Yeah.
Do you know any cancer survivors? Quite a few.
Leftover pizza for breakfast... yay or nay? Good shit, man.
Do you personally know anyone who's a psychopath or sociopath? I don't think so.
What is your most used kitchen appliance? Lately, it's been the apple slicer. I've been on a real apple slices + peanut butter kick lately.
What is something that you would personally like to be remembered for? For being a caring person towards all living things.
Have you ever been diagnosed as clinically depressed before? Yes.
Do you like bowling? Yeah, it's fun.
Do you own binoculars or nonoculars? What do you use them for? No.
Do you ever wish you had a telescope on the roof or attic to stargaze? Yeah, that'd be cool.
Have you ever had to deal with someone close to you going off to war? No, thankfully.
Who do you feel you have the most in common with? Sara, easily.
Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? My damn self lmao.
Have you ever had a teacher that also taught your parents? No. My parents didn't grow up in NC.
What’s one thing that people definitely CAN’T count on you for? To remember like... anything.
What about something they definitely can count on you for? Someone to listen to encourage them.
What’s one food that you want to try but haven’t yet? I've always thought macaroons look good.
Do you have anything planned for the summer? No.
Do you walk fast or slow? Slow.
Would you consider yourself an adrenaline junkie? No.
What is a common slang word from where you live? Plural "you" does not exist. It's "y'all," lol.
What’s the scariest thing you’ve accidentally found on the internet? *shrug* Probably something as a kid, going on those sketchy websites with loads of games and stuff.
Thinking of every Halloween costume you’ve had, which one was the most creative? I don't think I've had any creative costumes for Halloween.
What’s one random city you want to visit? It's not exactly "random" as it's a popular location, but anyway, I would love to visit Venice.
What subjects do you or did you get the worst grades in? Math.
When was the last time you ate cake and what type of cake was it? That's a good question, actually. Maybe my niece's birthday in February? I don't remember what kind of cake it was.
Do you have photos to go with all of the contacts in your phone? No; I don't have any.
Do you like snowy winter days or do you prefer rainy days? SNOWY!
Name 3 things you find most beautiful in nature: Mountains, large waterfalls, and desert dunes in the wind.
If you could ask one person one questions and get a completely honest answer who would it be and what would you ask? Jason. I'd ask if he thought I was emotionally abusive.
What is your favorite winter activity? Building snowmen.
Who is the greatest singer who is no longer living? Freddie Mercury.
What is your idea of heaven? I don't know, really... I have to ask myself IS there a heaven in eternity? Living forever just... doesn't appeal to me. "Living" is an odd word to use there, but hopefully you get it. Existing on and on and on and on seems like it'd just be a drag, but at the same time I do like the thought of feeling relentlessly happy and peaceful with my loved ones. I guess that would be my definition of it, if it does exist.
What’s one of the scariest things you’ve ever done? ODed.
Have you ever watched the Superbowl all the way through? Just once, on my 16th birthday because I was at Jason's place and all of his family was watching it. I had absolutely zero interest, but we wanted to hang with the family.
If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada.
Do you watch American Horror Story? I haven't in years. It was Jason's and my first "show," and the first season was excellent. I lost interest in the second one, honestly. I'd be up for watching other seasons, though.
How many relationships have you been in this year? None.
What's your favorite cereal? Probably Cinnamon Toast Crunch. That's also the only cereal where I can happily drink the milk afterwards.
Twitter or Facebook? Facebook.
Do you like to paint your nails? No.
What's the coolest place you've ever been to? Disney World, probably.
Have you ever punched anyone? No.
What's something you wish you knew how to do? Cook. :/ I really need to make an effort to learn. It'd be great to not rely on a microwave for the rest of my life.
What's a celebrity that everyone likes but you don't? *shrug*
What food do you eat the most? Probably bread in some form or another. That really needs to stop.
Green or purple grapes? Either one, but they have to be firm. I cannooooooot with soft grapes.
Have you ever cried over a text? Yeah.
What's the background of your phone of? My lock screen is this pretty, simplistic periwinkle color with "work on you for you" written on it. It's one I plan on keeping for probably a long time because I connect to it so deeply with my stupid damn head frequently demanding I have to improve "for Jason" to prove him wrong. Which is a very unhealthy mindset to have, I know. My home screen is a cute lil Mark edit someone made with a very similar pale blue background, so my phone is just currently an #aesthetic.
Do you have a Snapchat? No.
What's your favorite sports team? (if you like sports)? I don't like sports, but I'm biased towards the Carolina Hurricanes hockey team because of my dad.
Last thing you ate? I had Honey Nut Cheerios for breakfast.
Do you take a lot of selfies? Definitely not. I just hate how I look so much; it takes way too much effort for me to get an "acceptable" one.
Do you prefer strawberries or cherries? Strawberries. I hate cherries.
How many hours of sleep did you get last night? Maybe like, three. -_- Our A/C is still out, and it was like, 87 in the house last night. It was impossible to sleep.
Do you listen to music daily? Not EVERY day, but usually.
Biggest insecurity? My weight.
Do you play video games? Not as much as I used to. I'd probably play way more if I actually had a PS4 + the games I'm DYING to have.
Do you consider yourself lazy? "Yes, but a lot of it is also health related for my lack of energy and motivation." <<<< This for me as well.
What recently made you laugh? I was watching a bit of The Nanny with Mom yesterday. We love that show.
Do you like gummy bears? Yep.
What was the last song you listened to? I'm randomly hooked on "My Nocturnal Serenade" by YOHIO. Like, I've known the song for a long time, but NOW I'm bingeing it????
Describe your mom with one word. Selfless.
What's the biggest turn-off? Probably being misogynistic. But being a cocky ass is definitely high up there, too.
What fish scares you the most? Mfkng whale sharks terrify me.
How do you feel about snails? They're cuties!!!
What's your favorite app? Pokemon GO.
Would you rather time travel into the past or future? The future, to see what's coming. I feel like you could come back with some pretty valuable information.
What is the saddest song you've ever heard? I think "Terrible Things" by Mayday Parade has to come on top.
What insect do you hate the most? I was reminded that stag beetles exist last night, and omfg those. Well, "hate" is the wrong word, really, I'm just terrified of them.
Would you ever have a wild animal as a pet if possible? I 110% want to rescue an opossum, emphasis on "rescue." I'm not plucking one from the wild or anything like that. I would be in HEAVEN raising one of those angels.
Are there any decorations that makes you happy? (lights, candles, plants..) I love those beds decorated with fairy lights, and just Christmas lights in general. Halloween and Christmas decor tend to give me sparks of happiness when I see 'em.
Does race matter to you when it comes to dating? Not at all for me.
When was the last time you painted something? Not since I was still in school and took a Painting course.
When was the last time you really felt alive, and what were you doing? I have NO idea.
What is one question you would like an answer to? Why the worst things tend to happen to good people.
Name one favorite thing to do with kids while babysitting. I don't babysit, but if I was to be in charge of a kid, I'd love to teach them to play video games from my childhood. Playing Pokemon with my niece and nephew is always a blast, ahhhh.
Name one flavor you like. Strawberry is pretty consistent.
Name one thing you are hoping for. Venus' new terrarium soon... big sigh. I can't for the life of me find one that's a reasonable price and also adequately sized. I'm willing to put the rest of my cash into it, but Mom is helping, so I can't just buy the first one I see. Then I'd need more substrate, I seriously want a temperature gun and hygrometer, a cool hide, sticks and stuff for cover... It's going to be expensive, but I want Venus to have a truly proper environment she can thrive in.
Write the name of one of your imaginary friends from when you were younger. Oddly enough, I can't remember the imaginary wolf that was my "friend." I say "oddly" because his whole idea was important to me as a weird-ass kid.
Name one girl's name that starts with a "J" that you like. "Justine."
Name one boy's name that starts with a "J" that you like. Maybe "Jaxson."
Have you ever been kissed? Yeah.
Have you ever feared that you would be killed? It's never been like, a fear I actively worry about. I just acknowledge it's always a possibility for anyone.
What is the last great opportunity you missed? This was quite a while ago by now, but I'd say by dropping out of school, I really let photography opportunities slip since I became the newspaper photographer...
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Come Home to My Heart, Chapter 3 (Lemyanka) - Plastiquedoll
read on ao3 ✨| chapter 1 2
A/N: hi! I hope you like this new chapter as it goes deeper on the feels™️ I really wanted to give the characters more background (and a little bit of angst whoops) and finally, there are new names dropping yay! Again, there’s a time skip of two years this time. Enjoy & thanks for reading <3
-3-
When Priyanka turned fifteen, she discovered new things she loved. She loved dying the tips of her hair with bright colors every two weeks and a half, she loved skateboarding, she loved being the center of attention and a little bit of a class-clown at school, she loved hanging out with her group of friends, she loved the phone calls with Lemon to catch up and talk shit about everyone…
“Okay, can you hear me now?”
“Yeah, yeah, that’s better.”
Priyanka peeped through the hallway hoping no one would decide to interrupt them. She nervously removed the shiny red nail polish with her teeth as they tried to re-connect, if her mother saw her she would’ve scolded her on the spot. The landline phone was solid red plastic with buttons and wires, it was age-worn but at least it wasn’t like her grandparent’s phone with the rotary dial system or it would take hours to get all those area code numbers correct and get Lemon on the other side.
“Thank God. I’m literally inside the closet just like in The Parent Trap. I told my mom I was calling my grandma because last time our phone bill had several zeroes.”
Priyanka chortled and entangled the curly wire with his fingertips. “Sorry about that… so, you were saying… about the audition?”
“Oh, right! I’m trying to get into this dance academy that’s supposed to be the best of the best and the audition waiting list is a nightmare… but they called me the other day and said I’ll have shot in two weeks.”
“Oh. My. God. Lemon that’s awesome!”
“I know! I feel it, Pri. I know I can do it but… I don’t want to assume anything until I get there. I’m confident in my skills but what if they perceive that confidence as cockiness or something like that. I was talking to Jan the other day and she said-”
“Wait, who’s Jan?” Priyanka frowned before the unfamiliar name.
“Jan. Jan! My friend Jan? We have Biology and Math together, remember?”
“I don’t think I’ve heard her name before.”
“I’m sure I have mentioned her… anyway. Jan is madly talented –like, she can sing- and she auditioned for music school like a year ago and told me that…”
Jan. She hadn’t mentioned a Jan before… it was weird for Priyanka that knew all Lemon’s New Yorker friends’ names and she was pretty sure Lemon remembered all her friends’ names as well.
“… anyway, I’ll keep my head high and hope for the best. I’m training extra hard these days to make it. My muscles are sore and I can’t feel my legs right now but hey, no pain no gain.”
“I’m sure you’ll do great.”
“Thank you.” She paused as if she wanted to say something else, Priyanka could hear her breathing, but then she continued chattering. “Also, my mom got promoted again and now she bought a computer I can e-mail you the day of the audition. But tell me, how are things over there? Did the girls work their differences yet?”
“You know Scarlett, she won’t shut up and-”
“Priyanka, it’s dinner time.” Her mother announced from the kitchen.
She sighed. “Shit. I have to go or my mom is going to cut the phone wires. She says this time is for real.”
“Oh, okay… I’ll call you soon then.”
“Yes, please call me right after the audition or before if you wanna talk… you know. Break a leg or whatever… make sure is figuratively speaking, please.”
She heard Lemon’s giggle on the other line and something inside her went softer.
“I will… and I will be there for Christmas this year, I made my mom promise it.”
“Fingers crossed.” She said before hanging up.
When she looked at herself in the mirror she had a silly grin on her face that couldn’t be erased.
Lemon hadn’t been back in a long year and a half. After spending the first holidays after her parents’ divorce with her dad in Canada, she had to spend the next one with her mom in the Big Apple. Plus, her father got to travel to New York quite often those days and got to see her a lot. She sometimes sent things for Priyanka with him, a nice hoodie, a makeup bag, one of those stupid tourist t-shirts with the Statue of Liberty printed on it, sometimes a pair of dangling earrings or a simple letter and a picture of her. She treasured each of those little trinkets.
Priyanka was saving money from her allowance and was hoping to get a job soon so she could buy a car someday and visit her friend in the big city, they might even go on a road trip over the summer, it was a nice thought to hold onto until they could hang out again.
On the day of Lemon’s audition, Priyanka was restless. She got kicked out of one of her classes because she kept fidgeting, twitching, moving around, and chewing gum. It drove her teachers insane. Scarlett and Kiara mocked her from the window of the classroom and then got a warning as well.
Later that day she cleaned all her room to avoid thinking. She found several pictures of her and Lemon over the years –including that one time they tried Lemon’s mom makeup for the first time, Lemon was missing her two front teeth-, there were some photos from their first days of school and even Lemon at Priyanka’s plays. She was so pissed when she got that old lady role instead of the main character but she had managed to steal the scene anyway.
As the sun was setting, she didn’t know what else to do. She did the dishes without offering resistance and then got into an argument with her little sister who wanted to watch Hannah Montana while Priyanka just wanted to watch the new episode of America’s Next Top Model. She had to admit it though, the intro of Hannah Montana was kind of catchy (something she would never admit to her sister).
It was almost quarter to nine and she still didn’t have any news. There was a two-hour time difference with New York but still… it was gnawing her from the inside.
Right when Tyra was about to reveal which model got to stay for another week, the phone rang in the hallway and she couldn’t jump out of the couch fast enough.
«You have a phone call from-» Press one to accept, yeah, yeah, she knew that.
“Lemon?” She didn’t even wait for a «hello».
“Pri? Is it you?”
The sound of her voice brought her back to life, she could hear the sound of her heart beating again.
“Yes, it’s me! How did it go?”
“Oh my God, Pri… I’m calling you from a payphone in the middle of Times Square, this is insane. The girls lend me some cash to call you.” Priyanka could hear the sound of the traffic and even some giggles coming from outside of the phone.
“And? You’re killing me here, Lemz.” She had her fingers crossed even when she couldn’t see that gesture through the call and was holding the phone against her ear with her shoulder.
“It was so difficult I thought I was never going to learn the steps I’m literally so exhausted right now but…”
But.
“I got it, I got the spot!”
Priyanka started screaming.
“Priyanka!” Her mother shouted.
“Sorry…sorry!” She covered her mouth with her hand.
Lemon was cackling.
“Lemz, I might get in so much trouble for this but… Congratulations, I’m so happy for you!”
“Thank you.” She sounded truly happy, Priyanka wished she could see her right at that moment. “Jan, can you give me another quarter? Thanks, doll.”
That girl Jan again.
“So what are you girls are up to?”
“We’re going to get some pizza to celebrate. Jan is here as you heard, so are Goona, Rosé, Jackie… They say hi.”
“Tell them I said hi too.”
“She says hi… No, I’m not telling that, shut up…”
“What is it?”
“They are being assholes as usual… Listen, I have to go, I’m running out of coins and I still have to call my mom.”
“Okay, we’ll talk soon… I’m so happy for you… Love you.”
“Love you too! See you in a few weeks.”
“Yeah. I can’t wait.”
“Bye, Pri.”
She hung up but stood next to the phone for a moment, staring at it.
Just a few more weeks.
Priyanka kept begging her older brother to teach her how to drive. It took a few weeks of insistence until he gave up and the lessons started. They only stopped when the snow got too thick and the roads too slippery to practice. Still, by that time Priyanka was almost an expert. She needed to perfect her parking skills before turning sixteen and that would be it.
She also needed a car but that was the least important part.
“So when’s your girlfriend coming to town?” Scarlett asked.
Priyanka choked on her hot chocolate and coughed a couple of times. “Lemon’s not my girlfriend.”
Kiara rolled her eyes.
“Ah, yes, I can’t wait to finally meet her!” Juice –the latest addition to their group- said.
They were at the coffee shop, outside was freezing cold and the smell of fresh-baked pastries had dragged them inside the warm environment. Scarlett was having a black coffee while Priyanka and Kiara had their respective hot chocolate with marshmallows and Juice ordered a cappuccino with whipped cream and sprinkles on top.
“So?” Scarlett arched a brow.
“Her flight is booked for next week if the snowstorms allow them to fly.”
“I remember you two from primary school; they were joined by the hip, even before you shared diapers or something.” Kiara mocked.
“Oh, that’s right. You were in her classroom in kindergarten back when Ilona prevented everyone from playing with her.”
“That’s because Lemon spilled some paint over Ilona’s drawing… it was kids’ things. We all forgot when some random kid wet his pants or whatever.”
“And when did the crush began?”
Priyanka shot daggers at Scarlett with her eyes.
“I don’t have a crush on her. She’s literally my best friend, you guys are delusional.”
“Sure…” Kiara stirred her chocolate. “But it’s been what? Almost two years since she graced us with her presence?”
“Yeah, her parents didn’t want her to travel alone last time so her father flew to New York.”
“All jokes aside,” Scarlett changed her irksome ‘let’s pick on Priyanka’ tone for a minute. “Are you going to tell her about…?”
At the age of fifteen, Priyanka discovered she didn’t like kissing boys.
It had been at a lame party in a basement, her classmates had invited her and one of them suggested they should play seven minutes in heaven. Priyanka was about to skip it and refill her paper cup with cheap vodka and orange juice when she got dragged by the wrist and pushed into the closet with a guy from the hockey team. She suspected he had a crush on her for the longest time and this was instigated by his friends but the moment the door was locked, she panicked.
Her friends tried to get her out of there but there were a few underdeveloped brains and much muscle blocking the door. So she guessed she was doing it. The guy wasn’t that bad –she liked to believe- he told her they didn’t have to do anything she didn’t want to and he was what most girls of the classroom referred to as «handsome». Priyanka shouted she was okay to calm down her friends and figured the best she could do was getting over it once and for all.
It was her first kiss.
The guy had rough lips and a slippery tongue and it was in the middle of all that smooching when his hand went under her lower back that she knew, she wasn’t enjoying it at all. She pushed the guy aside and used the back of her hand to clean her lips, she’d need some mouthwash as well. He asked if everything was okay but she was too condescending and told him that she was feeling dizzy.
The door was unlocked when he asked his friends to do it. Priyanka walked back –ashamed-to her group of friends as Kiara told them they were all disgusting and how stupid the game was. Priyanka called her brother from a phone upstairs and left soon after. For the first time, she was quiet on the way back home.
Later that night when she was laying on her bed in the darkness, she couldn’t stop thinking about it, thinking about how she was supposed to feel kissing that guy -any guy- or thinking about the fact that she wasn’t even remotely attracted to boys but mostly, thinking how she so wished that guy was someone else, how she wished that guy was a girl.
The following week at school the not-so-nice-guy had told everyone that Priyanka was basically a slut and if it wasn’t because she was so wasted, they could’ve gone to third base in that closet that very night. Priyanka wasn’t ashamed anymore, she was angry. Very angry. During lunch, she walked directly towards him and exposed him in front of everyone, not only denying the absurdity of those rumors but also stating that she would never even consider touching his small dick.
After that, Priyanka was done with guys, boys, and men in general.
She had a heart-to-heart conversation with her friends afterward but –to no one’s surprise- she ended up with the least heterosexual and most supportive group of friends in the world.
Still… she hadn’t been able to tell Lemon yet. She had tried but there was something about phone calls that didn’t help at all, she wanted to tell her in person, she wanted to see her face and know that everything was okay. And she planned to do it during her visit.
“I’ll try.” Priyanka stated, hoping the universe cooperated with her.
“Good. So you can make out under the mistletoe next.” There she was again.
“Okay, you two,” She pointed at Scarlett and Kiara. “you have to stop it or I’m going to do you guys dirty and you know I can.”
They started laughing, clearly taking Priyanka’s threaten lightly.
“That’s it! You,” She directed toward Kiara. “I have seen you drooling over Kyne the entire semester.”
Kiara went pale.
“And you two…” She turned back to Scarlett and Juice that were cackling sitting on the couch. “Yes, I’m talking to you, do you really believe I haven’t seen the way you look at each other, those stolen glances, the subtle touches? Please, is this a Jane Austen novel or what? You ain’t that smooth.”
“Hey! I didn’t say anything!” Juice protested.
Scarlett’s mouth turned into a thin line and her ears were suddenly pink colored. She murmured something Priyanka couldn’t catch but rhymed with «witch».
“Sorry girl, I warned you heads would roll and I’m not leaving any survivors if that’s what it takes.”
Scarlett put her hands up as a sign of surrender. “I respect it, you’re a bitch but I respect it.”
So that was the word she used.
Lemon would arrive at any minute now.
Her father was picking her up from the airport, they would have lunch at some fancy restaurant in the city center and then he’d drop Lemon at Priyanka’s house until sunset –that was when she had to leave again to have dinner with her relatives.
Priyanka kept moving her right leg, restless while sitting on the couch, eyes nailed on the window.
“Priyanka, take the trash out, it’s your turn.” Her mother told her casually as she directed upstairs.
“Mom!” She complained. “I’m doing important things.”
“You’re sitting on the couch.”
“My point exactly.”
Her mom gave her the glare. “Trash. Out. Now.”
She grumbled but did as asked.
Priyanka put on an extra thick coat over her jeans and knitted orange sweater, adjusted her wool socks and boots, and adventured to the exterior world of the Canadian winter wonderland. She only had to walk a few steps but she could feel her body freezing with the icy breeze. The snow was blinding white and she could hear the whistle of the wind blowing and the sound of her own teeth chattering.
She didn’t even hear the sound of the car stopping right at the entrance of her house nor the door closing or the steps.
She barely had time to turn around when an identified running person hit her like an asteroid. Lemon was small but she still got the strength to tackle Priyanka down with a hug. She didn’t even notice whether the snow was cold or not.
“Hey!” She was still down on the ground and needed to turn around once Lemon moved. “You’re here…”
The vision was dazzling. Lemon’s face, her eyes, her smile from ear to ear with full teeth showing, her blonde hair falling like a cascade over her rosy cheeks. It was as if she had been taken from an Andersen fairytale or a Tchaikovsky composition, ice queens and fairies fluttered around Priyanka’s head.
“I’m here! Can you believe it?”
She was still pretty much straddled on Priyanka, making the brunette blush and hoping she could blame it on the weather. Finally, Lemon got to stand up and helped her friend to get on her feet again.
Lemon was irretrievably tiny but there was something different about her since the last time they had seen each other. She looked less like the little girl Priyanka remembered and more like a teen pop star of the magazines they used to read with her slightly curled lighter hair, pink glossy lips, longer lashes… She was wearing a yellow sweater and a white puffy jacket with matching fake fur around the neck, corduroy pants, and cream boots. Even her glasses were stylish now.
“Wait, are you taller?” She observed.
“No, you just shrunk in the washing machine.”
Lemon elbowed her and then turned to wave at her dad that was still in the car.
“He told me he saw you in the supermarket the other day and asked what does your mom feed you with so I could get some too.”
Priyanka laughed at loud. “He got you there.”
“Ha. Ha.”
“But enough with my height, let’s go inside, I think I got snow on my socks and I don’t want to catch a cold or wait until another short person attacks me.”
“Hey, you said enough with the height.”
“No, no. I clearly said mine, not yours.”
Lemon rolled her eyes and there it was the old Lemon she knew so well, the exact dose just a little less sugary and a bit sour.
They went to Priyanka’s room, she shared it with her middle sister but she was currently busy practicing at music school with her cello for her end of the year concert, there were a few trophies, certificates, and distinctions on her side of the room meanwhile Priyanka’s was a collage of pictures with the girls, an album cover Avril Lavigne, one large poster she got from the local cinema when Spice World was brought back for a special feature and she forced her friends to watch it for the millionth time, some random doodles she did in class and of course, photos and postcards Lemon had sent to her.
The blonde smiled when she spotted a picture of them from their first day of primary school, their backpacks were bigger than them.
They removed the heavy coats, Priyanka changed her wet socks for new ones and a pair of slippers. Lemon was prying into the mess that was her desk, her fingers roaming through her school books, comic books, magazines, and scattered papers as if she tried to figure out if she still knew the owner of that space in the way she used to.
They sat on Priyanka’s bed on the nothing-like-Priyanka flowery blanket one of her aunts got her for a birthday. Priyanka’s mom dropped by to say hi and left a tray with two smoky cups of tea.
“I love your mom, she read my mind.” Lemon said, wrapping her hands around the warm porcelain.
“She’s being nice only because you’re around.” Priyanka took a sip of her tea. “I wonder if it’s a good time to tell her that I broke one of her flowerpots when I was practicing with the skateboard.”
“You’re the worst.” Lemon giggled.
“Certified. Three years in a row.”
The blonde shook her head. “Does she still make that incredible curry with potatoes?”
“Yeah, once in a while.”
“Oh my God… I tell you I’ve dreamt about it. You know I love Christina to dead but she can’t cook at all.”
Lemon, at some point after the divorce, had stopped addressing her mother as “mom” and now she called her by her first name.
“Do you remember she always made dinner with dry spaghetti and can sauce?”
“You laugh all you want but that’s my comfort food till this day.” Priyanka defended her.
“She doesn’t even cook it anymore, now we buy it all pre-cooked or already cooked. She might even forget how to boil water. Anyway, we’ve tried a thousand restaurants but I swear to you, Pri, no one can cook like your mom.”
“Well, I’m glad you’ve missed one of us.”
Lemon threw a pillow at her face.
“Of course I’ve missed you, dumbass.”
They did each other’s nails, Priyanka ended up with a light blue shade Lemon had brought for her and it was allegedly the same color as Tiffany’s, and the blonde insisted she had to draw a white ribbon to make it look like the jewel’s teeny tiny boxes.
From there, Priyanka could see everything. Lemon frowning, concentrated on her task, the way she batted her lashes, her pretty eyes, the little freckles she had over her nose, the shape of her cupid bow turned into an unintentional pout… her lips.
Priyanka gulped and then Lemon caught her staring.
“What is it?” She looked for some hint in Priyanka’s face. “Do I have something on my face?”
“No… I’m just making sure you don’t fuck up the design.”
Lemon rolled her eyes. “Don’t be silly. I’m almost done.”
While Priyanka’s nails got dried, they talked about school, classes they liked and disliked, teachers that they loathed or loved, then about their plans after turning sixteen, Priyanka told her about the driving lessons and Lemon told her she wanted to dress up as Cher Horowitz –of course- for her birthday and by the time Priyanka started with Lemon’s nails, she was reviving her dance audition.
“I tell you, Pri, there was a moment I doubt I’d got in. It was a flash but I felt it in my stomach I thought I was going to puke and mess everything up.”
“Hey, but you didn’t. I’m sure you nailed it.”
The blonde sighed. “Still, New York is like… everything’s so fast and everyone’s competitive to the point where you can’t get distracted or someone else will go after what you have. It’s nice to be here for a change, this is the only place I can really relax. It sucks that I can only stay for a week and five of those seven days I have to visit my dad’s relatives out of town.” She met Priyanka’s eyes. “I wish I could get to spend more time with you, you know?”
Priyanka’s heart skipped a beat. At that moment what she suspected but didn’t dare to say at loud became a reality, all those corny songs from the 90’s suddenly made sense, all the movies Hollywood had sold labeled as «romance» acquired a new meaning and she finally understood what «to have butterflies in one’s stomach» really felt like.
She liked Lemon. She liked her best friend…. And she liked her a lot.
That was the reason she hadn’t been able to tell her about what happened earlier that year at the party because it wasn’t just that she wanted to kiss a girl instead of a guy, she wanted to kiss one particular girl and she was right in front of her at that very moment.
They never warned her about it, they never told her that she would live normally until the day she’d realize she could harbor such feeling inside, that one day she’d just… know.
She almost dropped the nail polish bottle over the blanket.
“Oh, careful.” Lemon grabbed it just in time. She looked at her friend with concern in her eyes. “Pri, are you okay? You look… pale.”
“What? Ah, yeah… it’s nothing. I’m recovering from a cold I caught, that’s it…” She shook her head and took a breath of air. “I’m sorry, you were saying…”
“About the dance academy,” Lemon resumed her story. “the girls think I can make it through the next three years, and then I can major in dancing, I might even get a scholarship if I do outstandingly well.”
There was something, a little detail there that wasn’t… right.
“I hope you can visit me soon, you gotta meet the girls; you’re going to love them. Rosé and Jan are also Geminis, I guess that’s why I get along with them so well. Luckily, Jan would be my roommate if she gets her scholarship as well and…”
“Roommate?” Priyanka asked.
“Yeah… for college? We’re thinking about moving in together because rents are expensive even for the smallest studio apartment advertised. It’s a nightmare.”
“But wait… what happened with the plan? Our plan?”
Lemon opened her mouth to reply and then shut it.
“You forgot about it…”
“No! You know I didn’t… but… my options are wider now, I have to think forward and… did you seriously think-?”
“Yes. I did.” Priyanka didn’t even let her finish speaking.
Her soul had been just crushed.
“Pri, that’s not what I mean. We made that promise when we were ten, things have… changed since then.”
“Maybe they have changed for you but I’m still stuck here, I’m still counting on our plans… our promises. I’m still counting on you. The only thing that has changed is you and your pompous New Yorker glamorous lifestyle.”
“Oh, so it was so easy for me, right? It’s not like I had to attend a school where I didn’t know anyone, being the new girl and sitting alone during lunchtime for months while going through my parents’ divorce… I hated it the first months, Priyanka, I really did and I swear that talking to you on the phone and dancing were the only things that kept me alive…” Her voice cracked. “It wasn’t until I met my friends that I felt like I could do it… that it wasn’t completely waste of time and that I wasn’t a totally useless person.”
“Lemon… you never said-”
There was a single sparkly tear falling down her cheek.
“Well, I hope you’re happy now. There you have it, my life isn’t a glamorous as you thought, is it?”
“It’s because that’s what you’ve told me! Maybe if you didn’t sugarcoat things I could’ve helped you…”
“And do what? And then what? You’d get tired of me with all those problems and we’d eventually drift apart. I’d become a burden for you.”
“What? Where did you get that from? Let me be your friend, that’s what friends do… they help each other during the rough times too, they tell each other things.”
“Oh, and you surely have told me everything that’s being going on here.”
Priyanka remained silent.
“I still talk with some people from school here and there… why didn’t you tell me about what happened at that party?”
“Lemon, that’s completely different…”
“Is it? Because from my perspective, it looks like we’re hiding things from each other now.”
“And breaking promises as well for what it seems.”
Lemon looked at her, she seemed hurt and it broke Priyanka’s heart to see her like that.
She wanted to reach her and hold her hand, hug her and tell her that everything was alright but at the same time, she was angry. She couldn’t have it both ways. It wasn’t fair.
Priyanka’s mother called them from downstairs; Lemon’s father was there to pick her up.
“I better go.” She grabbed her coat. “I’ll be back in five days if you want… whatever.”
She was gone before Priyanka could say something and frankly, she felt that if she opened her mouth it was going to get worse. It wasn’t until the girl left the house and she heard the car getting lost in the distance that she collapsed on her bed and started crying on the closest pillow she had.
Five days after, it was a New Year already but little had changed since they last met.
Lemon visited Priyanka’s house only to discover she wasn’t there.
“Could you please tell her I came to say goodbye?” She bit her inner cheek to contain a sob.
She had a flight to take back to New York.
Priyanka had taken the family’s car without permission and she had driven for a few hours, making sure there was no chance of their paths crossing. It was petty; she knew she was being childish avoiding her rather than talk things through and she was going to regret it and hate herself later, damn, she was going to get grounded for months but who cared? At that moment, the only thing that was on her mind was that she couldn’t see Lemon.
Not like that.
She did her wrong but she was partly right. Priyanka wasn’t being honest with her and she couldn’t tell her all the truth to restore their friendship.
She couldn’t tell her that she was gay and that she was in love with her because it would change it all.
It would destroy their friendship entirely.
Lemon would never reciprocate those stupid feelings of her.
Maybe if she put enough distance between them, those feelings would simply fade, go away, and right now, New York sounded distant enough.
If it was on her to do the hardest part for the sake of all the years they’ve been together, then she was going to do whatever it’d take.
Tears scorched her eyes.
At the age of fifteen, Priyanka loved her best friend Lemon but she also hated her.
#rpdr fanfiction#drcan#can1#priyanka#lemon#lemon x priyanka#childhood friends#friends to lovers#lesbian au#timeskips#angst#long-distance friendship#come home to my heart#plastiquedoll#concrit welcome
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Hehe hiii I’m writing this before I go on the treadmill lol.
Alright the screaming will be non stop- and I’ll be glad to make girls jealous lol. I am ready to distract some kids. “GO BRIGID!!!!” Yes we do have some vv hit friends esp you brigid, with dyl and Jamie 😏 the girls would be sooo jealous. Ryan and I bumping each other around will be a regular occurrence. Imao “not again...” yesss the boys are embarrassed but still hold onto each other! Hehe poor Quinners hand. Hmmm maybe I will make it up to him later 😏. Dyl would be a nervous wreck lol. I’d probably throw my sweater at him so that he can close his eyes, but he would still annoy me and ask every 5 secs “is she winning?” “How is she doing” “I can’t look” “this is too much for me to handle” and I chirp him so hard, but would understand because he really likes you :)
Ya right after shower etc. And we go out to celebrate the chirping restarts. I would have to many in my head. At the end of the day Jamie and dylan were amazing and you are proud of them. I’ll be sure to try squeezy applesauce!! Hehe I eat cliff bars between breaks but recently stopped because it took me forever to chew lol so now I just bring a banana to my matches. Brigid we should go to Costco together and ride in the cart- I would probably not bring the boys just cuz Costco’s huge and we would lose them hehe.
Yess team TRAMPLE GET READY. We promise not to damage your suit:) the girls would be jealous hehe.
Ig it is hard. But we understand. If me, you and kesh go to their games, would you sit across the rink or w us lol?. Cactus club is great, the food is très bien. Same w Cora! I’ll take you there !!
Imao people would be so confused on why I was crying but I just saw all of you 🥺 yay pls distract me while I warm up my hips w my resistance band lol. Nah it isn’t weird that you aren’t nervous. Look I’m a confident driver but that entire day was weird. It was summer and like an hour and a half before, I was getting my legs waxed lol and my legs were super slippery because of the oil they put on you after hehe. So first of all I was nervous all ready (shaking lol) and then in the car my entire seat was just so slippery, so that didn’t help and it was like plus 29. But anyways I passed, so ig going through that horrible experience was worth it. I’d probably make eye contact w y’all in between points and just burst out laughing but it’s ok. imao at the end I hit Ryan in the face w a ball. He would be mad cuz you start dying of laughter beside him and Jamie’s like panicking because he doesn’t know what to do and he just get you water. But you are still laughing . I’m down on the court also laughing and Ryan’s just trying to climb and get onto the court to chase me around hehe. Awww Quinner my bb, gotta give him my post match kiss. Ooo time to sometimes like I yell at the screen, but I could just see you being annoyed and yelling.
Ooo yes it’s getting semi spicy at Coachella. Dylan’s getting handsy 😏. Ya Jamie would just be glaring at Dylan’s back lol. And you’re just enjoying the view of Dylan’s hair and the performance lol. Oooo you can play w his hair. Aw thank u Braden for offering, I’ll take you up on that .but I can just see Quinner glaring at us too and getting flustered. He would get so annoyed hehe. I’m so oblivious sometimes, but I get down from bradens shoulders and go on yours lol. You can go on mine too:). meanwhile kesh is just in kirbys shoulders chilling and not even paying attention to what’s happening. Oo I’m not a big fan of makeup. I never wear it. I only have a clear lipgloss that I wear to events and sometimes I don’t even wear it lol.
Imma be honest we will probably not last very long on each other’s shoulders but It would be so cute if you are just watching one of the performances and Dylan or Jamie just come behind you and wrap their arms around your waist from behind and put their chins on top of your shoulder or head 🥺 and you are just swaying to the music with them .... Coachella is so fun at night according to the videos my bro has due to the lights and the fireworks that they release at night!! So you can kiss under the fireworks 🥰.
Our outfits would be amazing, like Brigid your hair would be so cute in Dutch braids!! Hehe yes the guys would look so hot, and not even try but just imagine being at Coachella w this team!! We gotta make sure we don’t forget sunscreen lol . And water, gotta hydrate !!
Ly
-Lexi
lol that’s fun, we love the treadmill. jk i hate treadmills, i feel like i’m not going anywhere when i’m on the treadmill and i can’t stand it. anywaysssss long post
lmao yes please distract my competition so i can win hehe. honestly it might work bc there are rarely hot guys in the stands at swim meets, so you never know. and then they would be like what are they doing bc you guys would be so chaotic up there lol. and everyone’s squeezing everyone else’s hand but pretending they’re not. “no we weren’t holding hands, what are you talking about?” and you’re just absolutely destroying quinner’s hand, so you have to make it up later 😏 and then dyl is just hiding his face in his hoodie, which make sure you wear a shirt under your hoodie ik i never do lol, but you’ll want one bc it is hot af at swim meets. like when you’re wet you feel cold, but in the stands it’s soooo hot. anyways dyl’s face is in your hoodie and he just asks how i’m doing every 5 seconds. “dyl just look yourself, i can’t tell it’s too close” and then he refuses to look so you chirp him lmao. but it’s ok bc then after i win we all have our epic trample hug lol. i love how it’s turned from a hug into just a huge trample lmao
haha you and ryan preparing chirps the entire time i’m swimming and just saving them til after lmao. but it’s ok bc i’m just chilling with jamie and dyl who were surprisingly really good at keeping me distracted and getting me all of the food i need. yes try squeezy applesauce, i literally love it sm, like i have a strange addiction to it but it’s fine. oh yeahhh clif bars do take a really long time to eat, i kind of forgot about that. personally i’m a weirdo so i hate bananas unless they’re superrrr green. yesss that’s part of our vacay now (i mean we already had going to a store but it’s fine) and then we make the guys push us around in the carts lol. we’ll def lose them at some point, but yk what it’s fine we’ll find them eventually
haha it’s ok i can still sit with you guys, i’ll just be wearing a usa jersey. probably my 1980 o’callahan jersey i got for christmas bc i love it sm. yes please take me to get food lol
hehe yes everyone is confused why you’re crying and you’re just like i’m fine my friends are just here. yes ofc we’ll distract you from your warmups. oof that whole driving test experience sounds awful. anywayssss yes i could def see you making eye contact with us between points and just start laughing and whoever you’re playing is so confused. hehe and then you hit ryan with the ball and he’s mad at me bc i just start laughing, but then he gets over it and decides to go after you lol. meanwhile, jamie’s just like wtf do i do? and he’s trying to get me to drink water lol. and then ofc you give quinner a kiss. but just be warned if you’re not winning or it’s close and i’m stressed about the match i will start screaming at you lol
oooh yes coachella is gonna be so fun. hehe dyl getting handsy 😏 sorry jamie, i love you too bb, but you got to let me and dyl have our moment. and i’ll just be playing with dyl’s hair while we’re watching 🥰 meanwhile, you’ve taken up braden’s offer but then quinner’s jealous so you feel bad lol. so then we take turns on each other’s shoulders. and then kesh is just chilling on kirby’s shoulders oblivious to all the guys getting jealous lmao. but then later we’re just chilling standing there and then jamie comes up behind me and wraps his arms around my waist and puts his head on my shoulder 🥺 and just swaying together to the music. that’s the softest shit. and kissing under the fireworks 😍 the literal dream. anyways yeah the only makeup i ever ever wear is mascara, but that’s hardly ever, but our outfits would be so cute. and we could do matching dutch braids! omg yes the guys would look so hot, but we have to bring sunscreen for our white boys. and yess water bc i’m always dehydrated
ily too 💗
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Snow Will Bring Us Together (Ben Hardy x reader)
Surprise and Merry Christmas and Hannukah and Kwanzaa! This is for the lovely @rogah-wrote-gaga who has been my secret santa person for the past month or so! It’s been a pleasure getting to know you and I do hope you enjoy!!!!
As usual let me know what y’all think! I love any kind of feedback!
Warnings: Fluff and some angst
Word count: 2.3k
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Ben walked into the apartment, keys in hand and his coat in the other. He was just about to announce his presence when he saw her on the couch. She was sleeping, a blanket pulled up to her chin, an episode of Good Omen’s playing softly on the tv with her chest lifting and falling softly with her breath. She was so beautiful. Even sleeping with drool coming out of her mouth and her hair scattered over her face she was still beautiful. And she was his roommate, and best friend.
He’d known her since middle school. During class one day, she’d gotten up to write something on the board and there was a red stain on the back of her shorts. The class started to giggle, and her face turned so red. When she hurried to sit back down, Ben slid off his jacket and handed it to her with a smile. And they’d been inseparably since.
Through high school, she’d gone to every rugby game and he went to all of her shows. Then, when he injured himself and was told he couldn’t play rugby competitively again, she stood by him and helped him through his anger and sadness. Through college, they were there for each other through every stressful final, heartbreak, and achievement. Now they shared a lease and a dog.
Friends were supposed to be there for each other. Through thick and thin. Friends weren’t supposed to be head over heels in love with heir best friend. They weren’t supposed to notice the way their eyes crinkled when they smiled, how their laugh made him feel like he was flying, how she completed every part of him that was incomplete.
He sighed to himself as she started to stir, moving to place his keys on the table. She blinked her eyes open and smiled at him.
“Hey, killer.” Her voice was heavy with sleep and she rubbed her eyes. “Is it snowing yet?”
She loved the snow, loved it more than anything. And it had yet to snow, leaving her feeling a little sad. But they lived in London, it would snow eventually.
“Hey, sleepyhead. How’re you feeling?” he returned, picking up her feet so he could sit next to her. “And no, it’s not.”
She sat up, wiggling her feet in his lap. “Better, how was your audition?”
He shrugged, giving a noncommittal grunt. He wasn’t really interested in the part, just another stupid jock role who’s only purpose was to look hot and not talk. But work was work and that was something he needed desperately. She gave him a sad smile and rubbed his arm. Her touch sent shock waves down his arm and he had to try desperately not to react.
“You’ll find something, I know you will,” she told him. “But right now, I need to get ready.”
He leaned his head back against the couch. Looking at her with his head hanging upside down.
“You goin’ out tonight?” he asked.
She smiled at him and winked. “Yeah, remember Daniel from my work?”
“Yeah.”
“Finally asked me out! I can’t wait!” she squealed.
Ben frowned, picking his head up from off the couch. “Oh… that’s great!”
She mirrored his frown, looking at the back of his head, her movements stilling.
“What?” Her voice lost its excitement and it sent a pang to his heart. He didn’t have any claim to her, and he shouldn’t take her happiness away from her. He hopped up off the couch and walked into the kitchen, grabbing an apple.
“Nothing! Just tired I guess,” he explained with a smile. “What time are you leaving?”
She clearly didn’t believe him, but she also didn’t seem to want to press the subject.
“7, he’s taking me to that nice Italian place down the block. You know the one that…”
He let her voice fade out as he watched her talk. Her face was so active every emotion crossing her face as she talked. He loved how emotive she was, her hands always moving and her eyes telling him every thought.
“Anyways, would you help me choose my outfit.” She asked, prompting him to raise his eyebrows at her request. She continued, explaining. “You always have great style and look so handsome…” His chest tightened. “So maybe you’d help me.”
He pursed his lips, trying not to show how much this was killing him. “Yeah, sure, yeah.”
“Great! Let me go put on my first idea!” she squealed in excitement. She placed a kiss on his cheek and hurried off towards her room. He groaned, bringing his face into his hands, rubbing over his hair.
The whole time she tried on different clothes, he had to force a smile and enthusiasm. She looked amazing in everything. And she looked so excited. She always talked to him about these daydreams she had. Daydreams of celebrities coming to take her away or characters from movies or tv shows. She was waiting for the day that someone came and swept her off her feet. He wanted to be that for her. But he was scared that she would reject him. Then he would lose not only his love but his best friend as well.
“So, which one you think?” she questioned, smoothing out the dress and spinning around.
He blinked at her, trying to come up with something to say. “Uh, I like the blue top with that black skirt.”
“Me too! Yay!” she agreed, running into her bathroom.
He sat with her as she told him about her day; putting up decorations since tomorrow was Christmas eve, watching Good Omens, as always, and listening to Queen whenever she could. Then she told him about Daniel. This guy who was coming to sweep her off her feet. He probably couldn’t care less but he wanted her to be excited. Her smile was the brightest thing in the world. Then the doorbell rang.
“Ah! That’ll be him,” she squealed, smiling brightly. She grabbed her purse and walked out of her room, turning back quickly. “I’ll probably be out late, so… see you tomorrow!” Then she was gone.
Ben spent the night as he always did when he was alone. Bowl of popcorn in his hand and a Parks and Rec marathon going. It hadn’t been more than an hour or two when the door opened up and (Y/N) came flying into the house. He sat up and opened his mouth to greet her, but she just walked past him, sniffling softly. His eyebrows furrowed as he realized she was crying. He heard her door slam and sighed.
He paused the TV and stood, going to her door and leaning against the frame. He could hear her sniffling still and it broke his heart. He knocked softly on the door.
“Go away, Ben,” you croaked.
“I’m not leaving until you tell me what happened,” he returned, crossing his arms.
There was silence for a moment and Ben was afraid he was going to have to stand there all night. But then the door opened. She glared up at him, her make up smeared down her face and face red from the cold outside. But to him, she still looked amazing.
“I hate you,” she muttered.
“No, you don’t,” he hmphed, reaching his arm out to rub her arm. “Now tell me what happened.
She looked up and away before turning around and sitting on her bed. She reached a wrist up and wiped away the tears in her eyes then she sighed, looking at her hands in her lap.
“He just…” She struggled to find words. “He didn’t really want to get dinner.” Ben cocked his head in question. “He was coming onto me the whole time.” She explained. Ben’s eyebrows raised. “And when I told him to stop… he told me he just asked me out because he thought…” She started to get choked up again. “He thought I was easy… and apparently, people at work think I fucked my boss to get my job.”
That sent Ben. He knew how hard she worked. All throughout college she worked her ass off to be top of the class; she got internships, pulled all-nighters, and I did anything she could to be the best. Once she got her first job at this company, she worked even harder to move up in the chain.
“Oh, love.” He wrapped his arms around her and brought her into his chest. She grabbed onto his shirt and let it all out. He rubbed up and down her back, letting her cry into his chest. “I’m so sorry.”
She leaned back and wiped her face again, then she let out a soft laughed. “Ben, I got make up all over your shirt.”
“Love, you can get make up on all my shirts if it’ll make you smile,” he told her.
She smiled at him, but it didn’t last. She turned away from him and put her elbows on her knees, resting her head on her hands.
“I don’t understand…” she murmured. “How can I be so unlovable.”
Ben shook his head. “No, you’re not. They’re just wankers. All of them.”
“But Ben… that doesn’t help me,” she complained. “Why do I attract people who I love but who never love me. I guess I’m just destined to be alone.”
“(Y/N), you don’t know how wrong you are,” Ben said, lowering his voice.
“But I’m not! My whole life, I’ve been in crappy relationships with guys who only want to fuck me or guys who don’t care about me like I care about him. And I put myself in these fantasies where someone who doesn’t know I exist comes and sweeps me off my feet but none of it is real. And I just want something to be real.”
He looked at her, wanting to take all her pain away. He wanted to tell her everything she meant to him. So, he did.
“(Y/N), you don’t know how wrong you are because…” He took a breath. “Because I’m in love with you.”
She snapped her head over at him, looking more hurt than surprised. “Ben, don’t lie to me to make me feel better.”
“I’m not lying! I would never…” He ran a hand through his hair. “I’ve been in love with you since the seventh grade.”
“Ben--“
“No, let me tell you how much I love you.” He grabbed her hands and held them in his, rubbing his thumbs over the back of her hands. “I love your smile.” He reached up and brushed your hair back. “I love your hair.” He smiles at her. “I love how you can always make me laugh, and how you have always been by my side. Through everything I’ve been through you’ve been there.” He looks down at her as she furrowed her eyebrows. “I love how you’re so passionate about so many things. Like Christmas and Queen and standing up for what’s right.” He brushed his thumb over her cheek. “I… I’m so sorry that anyone would treat you wrongly. You deserve the world and more. And I genuinely love you, so much…”
He waited for her reply. But she just sat there, her eyebrows furrowed and her eyes darting back and forth. Ben bit his bottom lip and brought his thumb up to clasp around her chin.
“Can I show you?” he aske softly.
She looked up at him, eyes big and wondering. But she nodded and smiled. He reached down and pressed his lips to her, pouring every ounce of love and comfort into the kiss. She reached up and wrapped her hand around his neck, tugging on the curls near the nape. He groaned and pressed her down onto the bed, helping her lift her legs underneath him. He kissed down your jaw, wanting to cover every exposed inch of skin with his lips.
And once he had her there under him, he kept her there for the rest of the night. Then two times before 6:00am. He made her feel love in every possible way. Specifically, with his mouth, fingers and eventually his cock. He let her know everything he felt for her. And then he fell asleep with her in his arms.
The next morning when you woke up, you were warm. Much warmer than normal. You shifted slightly then realized something was wrapped around your waist. More like someone was. Then the memories of the night before came back to you. And a dull ache between your thighs helped jog your memories. You turned slightly, Ben’s chin falling on your shoulder. You couldn’t help the smile growing on your face. You’d never felt anything like that before.
Who would’ve thought that your stupid dork hunk of a roommate could have the same feelings you did? The feelings that you’d shoved away years ago. Feelings that reached a peak last night. Several times. But what did this mean now? Would things change now that you’d slept together?
You let your lips trail along his forehead, your fingers intertwining with his. But that was for another day. It was Christmas eve and you were in the arms of the warmest man in the world and there was literally no where else you’d want to be.
Just as you were settling into him further, he started shifting next to you, his hand tightening around your waist. He pressed his lips into your shoulder, then blinked his eyes open looking at you. A smirk washed over his face and he pressed up to place his lips on yours again.
“Morning, love.” His voice was thick with sleep, almost a growl in the morning. “How are you feeling.”
“Amazing,” you murmured back. “I feel amazing.”
His smile was so bright, and he nuzzled his face into your neck. You reached a hand up to wrap around his head, turning back onto your side. You looked out the window and tapped your finger against his cheek to get him to look up.
“Ben, look,” you whispered. He rested his chin on your chest. “It’s snowing.”
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I’m Sorry, Logan
Rating: PG-13
Trigger Warnings: Alcoholism, suicide, abusive family, homophobia (let me know if there are any more i missed!)
Word Count: 3,754
Fan-fiction or Original Work? Original Work
Story Type: Short Story
Notes: I wrote this a while back for a book that was going to be made, but didn’t end up happening. It was about suicide awareness and the different reasons for it. There was to be informative writing about the topic and cause and then a short story. This is the short story. Also, I spent a solid hour or two revamping and editing this for you all today since I couldn’t post much about my soon to be posted book. I hope you enjoy!
I wake up to my alarm blaring in my ears. My eyelids refuse to lift, the world a blurry mess. I stumble into my uniform, the alarm still blaring. Eventually, my patience runs out and I shut off the alarm. I snatch my backpack out from the corner of my room before hastily grabbing a granola bar and running to the bus parked outside.
I jump into the bus and walk down the aisle, all of the noise, ranging from random conversation to yelling and fighting, filling my ears and overwhelming my mind. I almost want to put my hands to my ears and drown out the noise, but someone’s bound to take offense. As I sit down in a seat next to the seemingly quietest kids, the horrible stench of what are probably 10-year-old raisins with a generous side of sweaty gym socks permeates my nose. I hate the bus. I decide to try spacing out.
Arriving at school, I go into the girl’s bathroom and wait until everyone leaves. I look really weird waiting for people to leave, and I don’t care. Actually, that’s not true. I definitely care.
Once everyone’s gone, I slip out of my catholic school skirt and into far more comfortable slacks. My mother had refused to get me anything but the “girl’s” uniform which consisted of a tight, long skirt and a blouse.
I hear the bell and run to class, bursting into the classroom and sliding into my seat directly after my name is called.
“Late.” I groan and get out my homework. Why does it have to be me?
Vanessa and her friends snicker across the classroom. “Hey look, the plant’s here.”
My ears burned and I clenched my teeth. Those obnoxious jerks. I’m not a plant. “My name’s E-” My eyes widen as I catch myself. “-Ellie.”
Vanessa gasps dramatically and then says, “It can talk?!”
I don’t respond and give her what she wants, but it takes all of my strength not to. God, how am I so stupid? I don’t care if I’m using the Lord’s name in vain. I already let them know I was asexual! And if I let it slip? “My name’s Elliott.” I can only imagine the crap they’d do and say to me. What would I tell them? “Oh yeah, by the way, I’m nonbinary.” That would totally work.
I take deep breaths. I look at the teacher and then to the board, and suddenly, zoning becomes much easier. The lunch bell rings after a while and I walk towards the courtyard, finding one of the trees in the corner that no one ever sat by. It’s sad and droopy. I wish I couldn’t relate.
“Hey, Elliott!” I flinch at the noise. He smiles and sits down next to me.
I relax and say, “Hey, Logan. How was the class?”
“Class was crappy,” I crack a smile and when I do, he adds “as always. I love how you did your hair today. It’s pretty.”
My mouth goes dry and I fidget with my hands, forcing myself to smile. I shove my (sadly, homemade) peanut butter jelly sandwich into my mouth and then spend a ridiculous amount of time trying to swallow enough of it to even be able to chew.
We talk and smile, though he does most of the talking, and I force myself to listen, because he always has great things to say.
The lunch bell ringing is jarring and sudden enough to make me jump, but that isn’t saying much. I grin at Logan. “ I’ll see you tomorrow, man. Bye!”
He high fives me and starts walking towards his classroom. I walk towards mine. After Mr. Simon takes role call and I raise my hand and answer a question once, I figure I’m safe and promptly space out for the rest of the day.
The bell rings and right as I’m about to walk out of the door, I heard Mr. Simon say, “Eleanor, may I speak to you?” A collective ‘oooh’ sound comes from what’s remaining of the class, suggesting I’m in trouble, as I walk up to his desk.
“Can I help you, Mr. Simon?”
“Do you remember the dress code guidelines we went over at the beginning of the year?”
I start to panic. “Uh, yeah.”
“Then you remember that girls are to wear skirts and a blouse and that boys are to wear a button down and slacks.”
I mutter that I might remember something like that. “Why can’t I wear pants? I’m not wearing anything completely out of school uniform.”
“Yes, but we have a strict dress code and you, as a girl,” I flinch at the word girl. Of course, I can’t correct him. “are to wear a skirt. If you come to school tomorrow wearing pants, I’ll have you change back into a skirt, confiscate the pants, and then call your parents.”
I nod my head as if I understand, which I don’t, and then walk out of the classroom. I know he hates me, but I had no clue he would go to these lengths to get me in trouble. What the hell kind of person would go to the lengths of confiscating pants? None of my other teachers cared! He’s just an asshole!
I really don’t want to wear a skirt and that was only the first time I wore pants. On the other hand, I don’t want them to get taken away because I had to save up for months to get them and I really want to avoid having to deal with my parents.
As I walk home, I approach the entrance to the Golden Gate Bridge and smile. It’s so beautiful. Late afternoon fog is quite unusual this time of year and most people don’t like it, but I’m secretly happy about it.
I love walking along the bridge in the morning because it’s so easy to clear my mind. The wind can make my hair clothes flap wildly in the wind which is annoying, but the feeling of the cold wind can be comforting. The smell of saltwater in the air fills my nose as I approach one end of the bridge. I start to cross the bridge, right into the fog. It’s peaceful and the moist air feels cool and nice against my skin.
After around 45 minutes, I come out on the other side of the bridge.
As I walk, I fantasize about laying down on the couch and not worrying about homework. Not because I finished it, but because I’m planning on procrastinating.
I turn down my street and see my house. As I approach it, I realize that my house has been egged. I see a note on the door and run up and grab it. Get out of here, fag. You don’t belong here.
Vanessa, her boyfriend, and their horrible friends were right about the last part. I don’t belong here. I wish I could leave, but it isn’t exactly possible. I rip up the note and look up at the eggs that are covering my home.
I don’t want to clean this up… but my parents will ask why it happened if I don’t. Plus, they’ll make me do it anyway. I sigh as I trudge inside to grab a mop and some other cleaning supplies.
Opening the closet door, I grab everything I think I might need, which is a lot. I’ve never cleaned up eggs, so I’m just guessing.
I turn back to trudge outside again and start to wipe the door with a random rag that I found. Once I finish cleaning everything that I can reach from the ground, I place all my supplies on the roof overhang, awkwardly climbing onto it.
I get on my knees shakily and start to clean the roof. Damn, can these kids throw. It takes what seems like years, but is probably just a couple hours to finish cleaning the house.
Taking a risk, I jump from the overhang. I didn’t break any bones! Yay! I grab all of the cleaning supplies and shove them back into the closet as I walk to my room. I get changed into some paint-stained jeans and a band t-shirt that my parents begrudgingly bought me for Christmas.
I walk back out and throw myself on the couch. I log into the only social media my parents let me have and open a chat with one of my best friends, AchillesIsTheTrueGayIcon, also known as Bentley (or Ben). Sometimes I call him Benjamin just to annoy him.
Me: What’s up, Benjamin?
He responds almost immediately.
Ben: Asshole. But not much. You?
Me: You want to know who the real assholes are? The jerks from school who egged my house.
Ben: Oof. That sucks, dude.
Ben: Hey I gtg do homework. Talk later?
Me: Sure.
I turn off my phone and put it down. I hear my mom pull up so I sit up and take out my school binder. I place my homework from yesterday in front of me so I look like I’ve been doing homework since the second I got home.
As soon as I finish setting up my fake homework station, she walks in. “Hey, mom!” No. Too cheery. Calm down.
She smiles happily, “Hi, Ellie!” I cringe at my old name. At least she didn’t notice my overly excited greeting. “How was your day?” My little sister, Adia follows her in and then runs to our room.
I consider telling her that my day hasn’t been great, but decide against it. There are only two outcomes. The first is that she wouldn’t care and tell me to suck it up. The second is that it would just invoke a flurry of questions. Neither sounds particularly fun. “It was good. Yours?”
“It was fine. Busy as always,” I give her a knowing nod and then I see her smile slowly fade. “You didn’t make yourself dinner, did you?”
“No, not yet.” I smile sheepishly and she sighs loudly in annoyance.
“Alright. Dinner will be ready soon.”
I roll my eyes and she scoffs as she walks into the kitchen, tossing her bags onto a chair at the table. I hear Adia’s footsteps approaching before I see her jump onto the couch beside me.
“Hi, Adia. Did you have fun at daycare today?”
”Yeah! I played with Sammy!”
“That’s fun.” She smiles proudly as if having a friend is something to be proud of, which in my case, is true, but in her case, not so much. She has a lot of friends.
“I got to see all mommy’s friends, too! They’re so nice!”
I’m contemplating how untrue that is when I hear my mom start to reheat leftovers from last night. She tosses all of the food on three plates the same way she did her bag.
Wow. Soon really did mean soon.
My mom presses the power button on the remote and we pretend to watch a sitcom as we shovel food into our faces. Eventually, the episode ends. Too lazy to change the channel, we leave it alone and ignore it.
My mom is seated facing the screen and I watch her chuckle. I turn to the screen and freeze. It's a pride parade. All of a sudden I hear Adia’s excited voice.
“Ooooh! Rainbows!” I look at her and smile a little bit. She doesn’t even know. Sometimes I wish I don’t know what LGBTQ+ means. But that’s not really true.
“Those rainbows are for gay people.” She says gay in disgust as if it’s the worst thing you can be.
Mom continues, “You don’t want to be gay. Being gay is bad. You’ll go to hell if you’re gay.”
Now she just looked confused. “Why is it bad?”
“Because a man is supposed to marry a woman. That’s how God created us.” Mom says.
I finish eating my food as fast as I can to escape this horrible conversation and then interrupt. “Can I be excused? I’m getting tired.”
Before my mom can respond, my father swings open the front door.
This time, it’s not just me who’s frozen. He’s holding a beer bottle. His tie is loose. The top button of his shirt is unbuttoned and it’s stained.
What makes it most obvious that it’s happened again is his eyes. They’re huge. And not in the caring way.
He smiles goofily and stares at Adia and I. “No hug? No ‘Hi daddy!’ or ‘Thanks for working your ASS off every day to provide for us’?”
My first instinct is to pull Adia closer to me and step one foot in front of her, which I follow through on. My second instinct is to throw something at him so we can all run.
I hold back. Mom’s too close to dad. She would never be able to run away in time. He could hit her. Hurt her. Even kill her, if he wanted to. She’s not a good person, but she doesn’t deserve that.
“Go. To your rooms. Now.” I turn to my mom in utter surprise.
“But mom-“
“Now.” Her voice is sharp and cold, but filled with fear. The most confusing part is that I know the fear isn’t for herself. It’s for us.
I grab Adia and make sure she’s safe and locked in her room before running to mine. I press my ear against the door because I might be able to get an idea of what’s happening. I can’t hear anything.
I slump down and hang my head in my hands. Holy mother of God. What is wrong with my family? Why doesn’t she just kick him out when he’s hungover? Why don’t we leave?
I can't deal with this.
I'm sobbing now. I clench my teeth to trap the noise in my mouth.
Over the course of a few minutes, I draw myself up onto my knees and stand up, walking over to sit down at my desk. I start to scribble words that seem right on a paper. After a minute of writing, I reread it. It's not good enough. I crumple up the piece of paper and throw it in the trash.
I hug my knees tightly, trying not to make any form of sound. My breathing slows to its normal pace as I continue to sit there and I grab another piece of paper. I start to write once again, this time neater.
In the morning, I wake up the same way as yesterday. I put on my pants and even throw on a t-shirt instead of a blouse. I don’t care if Mr. Simon tries to force me to wear a skirt. I’m not taking anyone’s crap on my last day of school.
As I look in the cracked medicine cabinet mirror, all I can think of is my hair. I chew on the inside of my cheek for a minute while I go over all my options. I finally tug open the drawer and grip my father’s razor in my hand. There are lots of those weird plastic protectors that I think make sure you don’t accidentally shave off all your hair. I choose the one labeled number 4 at random and push it onto the top of the razor.
My heart starts to beat faster as I push it gently against my scalp, running it down my head in different places until my entire head is buzz cut. For the first time, I feel alive.
I peek out of the crack in the door and watch my mom walk into the kitchen. I run to my room, grabbing my backpack and binder.
I do this again and again until I’m out of the door.
I step into the bus, a huge grin slapped on my face. The other kids stare and I don’t even pay any attention to them. For the first time, I don’t care. I hear a kid yell “Get off, queer!” and I resist flipping him off… well, I try to resist flipping him off.
Taking my time, I walk into the classroom and sit next to Logan. He stares at me, dumbfounded. “What the hell did you do?” he whispers.
“I buzz cut my hair. I don’t even care anymore. I’ll deal with the consequences,”
Not.
“I just needed to do it,” I finish.
His face is contorted into a mixture of dumbfoundedness and horror as he slowly shakes his head. “Yeah. Alright. Tell me if you need anything, I guess.” He can’t stop staring at me and I honestly find it kind of funny.
A kid walks up to me sitting at what is most likely his desk.
“You’re sitting in my seat.”
“Yeah. I know. My seat’s over there. Feel free to take it.” He looks as if he’s about to say something more, but he turns to walk towards my actual seat.
Logan looks at me. I wonder if he knows something off. That taking some other kid’s seat isn’t something I’d normally do.
If he notices, he doesn’t mention it. “Anyways, how was your day yesterday?” He laughs and then adds, “Holy crap. That was such a mom question.”
I snort and answer, “Oh my god, you’re right. But it was good. I’m tired as hell, though.”
“No kidding.” I grin at him as the teacher looks at us again. I don’t really pay attention in math. I just talk to Logan. It’s relaxing to not have to care. To not have to worry about the consequences of my actions.
When we walk to lunch, I start complaining to Logan about how much of the day we have left.
“Uh, you know that we have an early day, right?”
“Oh! I do now.” He chuckles and smiles. I feel my cheeks warm up slightly at his smile. It’s a beautiful one. He starts to talk about some fandom of his and I try my hardest to pay attention.
I don’t really know what triggers this, although I have an idea, but I realize something. I’ve never kissed someone. Okay, this needs to change. I feel weird thinking about it, but I know exactly who I want to be my first and last kiss.
He’s about to start another thought, but I interrupt him. I don’t care. “You’re amazing.”
He looks at me as if I said the strangest thing he’s ever heard. “I mean it. You’re always there for me and you talk to me about things we like. I feel I don’t thank you enough for that.”
He still looks confused and a bit weirded out but he just smiles calmly. “Right back at you,” he responds as he fidgets with his hands and looks down at his shoes. I gesture for him to continue and, without hesitation, he does.
Logan sighs and packs up his lunch as the bell rings.
“Hey, will you walk home with me? I know you normally hang out here for a while but I want to talk to you.” I know this is a risk.
Just like before, he doesn’t say anything, but now I’m sure that we both know something’s wrong. “Yeah, of course.”
We grab our stuff and we start walking. He starts walking faster and gets ahead. This is not acceptable.
I break into a full sprint and he starts to chase me. My breath is short and raspy as I laugh all the air out of my lungs with him. When we reach the bridge, we’re both out of breath. We start panting like dogs on a hot day as we bend over and try to distribute our body weight evenly.
I stand up straight again and look at him. His face is glowing and his brown eyes are big and happy. He runs his hand through his slicked-back (with both gel and sweat) hair and adjusts his glasses. What a dork.
I know this is the moment. I move closer to him and press my lips against his own, my own brain not having a say in it.
The salty air blows through my hair and I feel on top of the world. After a couple of seconds, I step away. He looks confused. He wasn't okay with it. Oh, God. What have I done? I'm about to keep running down the bridge when he hugs me.
This time, I'm the unprepared one. After a minute, he lets go and slides his hand into mine. We continue to walk across the bridge. There's nothing we need to say and it feels amazing.
We don't have to explain ourselves. We can just walk quietly together. And it's not awkward.
My happiness fades away as I realize this is the first and last time I’ll be able to do this. I couldn’t change my mind if I wanted to. I already taped the note to his backpack when we left school.
Today was the best day of my life, but the rest of my life will be a living hell if I go back home right now. Today was a good day. One in a million.
This has to be the last time. Nothing good can last forever. Nothing can last forever.
We reach the other side. “Goodbye, Logan.”
He laughs. “You say it like this is the last time I’ll ever see you. I’m going to see you tomorrow.”
I feel my heart shatter a little bit more than it already had but I cover it up with a soft smile. “Yeah. It’s just goodbye for now.” He leans in and kisses my cheek and then twirls around like a ballerina. I choke back a sad laugh.
He starts to walk towards his house, but I just turn towards the water.
Tears spill silently down my face. I put my hand over my mouth to muffle my sobs. I want to run to Logan and scream his name, but I can’t. This has to be done alone.
I lift one foot onto the railing and then the other. This is it.
One last tear slips down my face as I whisper raspily, “I’m sorry, Logan.” I know it will be peaceful. A quiet ending. Not that I deserve one, but I guess it’s a favor to myself. I let go of the pole that I had been holding onto.
And then I’m falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Falling.
Gone.
Tagging: @sunandshinee @writingamongthecoloredroses @ettawritesnstudies @rhycantspell @just-perhaps @etddivine @antisocialdragonenby @crabsthinkfishfly @holdup-pause @gaydemiboy
#tw suicide#suicide awareness#tw acoholism#tw alcohol#tw abuse#tw abusive family#tw homophobia#verbose#vioaeon#writing#mine
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Sydney to the Max Fanfiction: Sydney’s Secret Sister
14 Years Ago...
Max Reynolds was sitting at a kitchen table with a young boy as he said, "And so that's how you multiply that fraction. You get it?" The boy sighed and said, "I guess. But I'm still a little confused." Max then smiled as he said, "Hey. The first step to improving is recognizing what needs to be improved." Then a woman entered the room and said, "How's my little boy doing with his math homework?" Max then said, "Definitely a lot of improvement today ma'am." The woman then said, "Oh come on Max. You can call me Debby. Okay son, you can go to your room and play video games now." The boy then got up and walked away as he said, "Yay!" As Debby sat next to Max she said, "Well Max, you're definitely one of the best tutors I've ever hired. Do you have kids?" Max turned his head and said, "No. Me and my wife Alicia only just got married, and she's too busy with her work as a doctor for us to even consider that right now." Debby smirked as she said, "I understand that. My husband is way too busy with his work to help provide me another kid if you know what I mean. It's been so long since I've even touched another man. Actually, may I..." Debby then pointed to Max's arm, as Max giggled a bit and said, "Sure." Debby then gently touched Max's arm and said, "Mmm. That's some nice arm muscle you got there Max." Max smirked as he said, "Why thank you." Then Debby quickly moved an arm down and touched Max's upper leg and said, "And nice leg muscle down there too." Max then slowly moved away and stood up as he said, "Um... thank you Debby. Anyway, I should be going." As Max began to head out the door, Debby smiled and said, "Well you're always welcome here Max."
The Present
Sydney and Olive were digging through boxes in the garage as Max walked in on the two. Max then said, "You find my old music equipment yet?" Sydney sighed and said, "No dad. Still looking though." Olive then said, "I still can't believe you were in a band in college Mr. Reynolds." Max smiled as he said, "Well it was really just one of many attempts to make some extra money in my 20's. Not only did I try making money playing in a band, I also took up tutoring and running an underground grilled cheese sandwich restaurant from my college dorm room." With a smile, Olive said, "I had a feeling about that when you gave me your old portable oven. Thanks so much for that by the way Mr. R. It was the best Christmas present ever." Max smiled as he said, "You're welcome Olive. So, find my old amplifier Syd?" Sydney sighed and said, "No. But considering we still have fifty more boxes to go through, I'm sure it'll turn up." Max then said, "Well call me if you need anything." Max then stepped out as Olive said, "Wow Syd. Your dad must've held onto everything he ever got in his life here." As Sydney opened one box she said, "Yeah. Look at these old books." Then as Sydney picked up one book, an envelope fell out from between the pages. As Olive picked it up she said, "Hey Syd. Look at this old envelope. It's addressed to your dad but there's no return address." Sydney opened the envelope, and looked at a paper inside as she said, "There's no name listed in terms of who wrote this. But it says: Max, I got tested and took the ultrasound at the hospital today and got the final confirmation. I'm pregnant with a little girl. I know if Alicia finds out, this will destroy your marriage, but I know it's better for you to know the truth than hide it." Olive's eyes widened as she said, "Sydney. Does this mean..." Sydney had a horrified look on her face as she put the paper down and said, "Olive, my... my dad cheated on my mom, and I... I have a secret sister."
14 Years Ago...
Max sat a kitchen table with a young boy as he said, "Great work. You have come so far with multiplying fractions." The boy smiled and said, "Thanks Mr. Reynolds." Then Debby stepped into the kitchen and said, "Okay now son. Off to your room." The boy then stood up and said, "Yeah, yeah. I know. So you can get another of your hour long talks in with Mr. Reynolds. See ya." The boy then walked away as Max and Debby looked at each other for a moment, and then Max said, "I guess we do talk a lot after every tutoring session." Debby sighed and said, "Yeah. It's just... with Frank at work so much, it is nice to talk to another adult." Max then said, "Yeah. And with Alicia out of the country helping deal with medical emergencies in other countries for so long now, I feel the same way." Debby sighed and said, "It's just... if our spouses loved us so much, you'd think they could be there more for us." Max nodded and said, "I know." Max and Debby then looked into each other's eyes silently. Then the two two moved their faces forward and kissed. Within seconds though, Max moved his face away as he said, "Debby, I can't..." Debby then said, "But Max. We've been feeling this tension for six months now. Maybe we should..." Max then stood up and said, "Maybe we should... just end this conversation now." Then Max walked out of the room.
The Present
Sydney and Olive were sitting alone together at at a table near the mall as Sydney said, "I... I just don't get it Olive. How could my dad cheat on my mom. Dad loved mom. He's one of the most loyal and caring guys on the planet." Olive then said, "Sydney, you only have a handful of years' worth of memories of your parents being married. Maybe there was some drama that happened when you were little, or before you were born." Sydney sighed and said, "Yeah. You could be right. But... I still can't over the fact that I have a secret sister out there. A half sister, but still... I mean before this morning, I thought I was an only child this whole time. But now..." Olive smirked and said, "I hear ya. Suddenly it feels like another piece of your heart is out there, and you wanna know who it's connected to." Sydney nodded and said, "Yeah. But first... I need to talk to my dad about this because... I just don't understand how my dad could have cheated on my mom."
14 Years Ago...
Max sat on a couch while holding a phone next to his ear as he said, "Alicia, what do you mean you're not coming home for another five months!?" Max then heard his wife Alicia say, "They're having a bad outbreak here Max. It's my job to help cure all these people." Max sighed and said, "I know you have a duty to help others Alicia. But what about your duty to me and our family? Your patients have many doctors Alicia, but I only have one wife. I need you with me honey." Alicia then said, "I know Max. I know we wanna start a real family one day, but my work..." Max the interrupted Alicia and said, "Your work can't be your whole life Alicia. You need to balance personal and professional needs at some point. I mean, we've only slept together in the same bed just once (when you came home briefly last week) in the last four months. When's the next time we get to sleep together Alicia? Nine months? Twelve!?" Alicia sighed and said, "Max... this is hard for me." Max then angerly said, "Well this is hard for me too!" Then Max angerly hung up the phone, tossed it to the floor, and then walked out the door.
The Present
Max was putting away some groceries in the kitchen, when Sydney walked into the kitchen looking nervous. Max noticing Sydney, then said, "Hey Syd. How was your trip to the mall? You and Olive get some nice new outfits with that gift card I gave you both?" Sydney nodded and said, "Yeah dad. Olive loves her new dress she got with it. But dad... I need to talk to you about something." Max looking more direct at Sydney now said, "Sure. What is it?" Sydney then held up the letter she found earlier and said, "Dad... I found this in a box of your things." As Max saw the letter, his face began to look horrified and guilty as he said, "Sydney, I..." Sydney then had tears in her eyes as she said, "How could you do it dad!? How could you cheat on mom!?"
14 Years Ago...
Max knocked on the door to a small house. Debby answered the door as she said, "Max?" Max looking around said, "Are Frank and the boys here?" Debby turned her head and said, "No. They went with him on his business trip like I told you." Max then stepped into the house and closed the door behind him as he said, "Good." Max the instantly kissed Debby and wrapped his arms around her. Debby then broke the kiss as she said, "Max... are you sure?" Max nodded and said, "Completely sure." Then Max picked up Debby and took her to a bedroom. Then Max and Debby quickly took off all their clothes as Max got on top of Debby and pulled a blanket over them. Max then pushed his body onto Debby, as Debby said, "Ohh! Oh yes Max. Ohhh! Ohhh!"
The Present
Max sat in front of Sydney at the kitchen table as he said, "It was before you were born Sydney. Your mom was gone on long trips helping people fight diseases in other countries, and..." Sydney then interrupted Max and said, "Oh, so it's mom's fault you cheated on her?" Max turned his head and said, "No Sydney. It was completely my fault. A man needs to be loyal to his wife and his family, no matter how hard it is. And yes Sydney, I failed. But you have to understand, I've regretted cheating on your mom every day of my life since my affair ended. Since you were born, I promised myself I'd never let anything divide me and your mom again. I promised myself I'd never hurt her again, just like I promised I'd never try to hurt you." Sydney then with an angry face stood up and said, "Well you did hurt me dad. You cheated on mom, and that's the worst thing in the world you could have ever done!" Then Sydney stormed out of the kitchen, leaving Max alone and sad.
13 Years Ago...
Max and Debby were both laying naked in a hotel bed together with a blanket covering them, as Max smiled and said, "Wow. We climaxed about... what... five times each today? That's gotta be a record for us. Oh wow, that was just what I needed for a long lazy Sunday afternoon." Tears then appeared in Debby's eyes as Max noticed and said, "Debby, what's wrong?" Debby then wrapped a blanket around her body, and stood up as she said, "I'm sorry Max. We can't do this again. We can't ever do this ever again!" Max looking confused said, "What's wrong Debby? Do you think Frank suspects? I mean, there's no way Alicia could know about us, so..." Debby turned her head and said, "It's not that. I... I've been living in denial for the last several weeks but... Max... I think I'm pregnant... with your baby." Max sat up with wide eyes as he said, "What!?"
The Present
Sydney and Olive were watching several other preteens their age playing music at an outdoor stage. As they watched the preteens play, Sydney then said, "Wow. Those kids are good." Olive then said, "I know. You've got some tough competition for this music contest." Sydney then said, "Oh man. When I get super nervous, my voice sounds terrible." Then Olive said, "Too bad. You sounded great when you recorded that demo the other day." Sydney then said, "Wait. That's it. I'll just play my demo for the contest and lip sync to it." Olive then said, "Wait. Isn't that cheating?" Sydney then said, "The judges said I can use already recorded background music for my performance, and even pre-recorded backup singing. I'll just be using my demo as the ultimate back up." Then a loud voice said, "Next up to the stage... Sydney Reynolds!" Sydney took a deep breath and got on stage and connected her phone to a large amplifier. Sydney then began to sing her song while standing up, but within seconds, Sydney while taking a step forward: tripped and fell down. Realizing her vocals from her demo could be still heard, Sydney realized everyone could tell she had been just lip syncing. In humiliation, Sydney then ran off the stage.
13 Years Ago...
Debby sat on a park bench alone. From nearby, Max walked over to Debby and sat down next to her as he said, "Hey. I got your letter. Listen, I..." Debby then interrupted Max and said, "No, let me say everything first. Max... I'm going to work everything out with Frank. We've already talked a bit and he's already gotten a new job so he'll stay at home more with me and the boys. I... I love Frank, and no matter what happens, I want my marriage with him to work." Max nodded and said, "Yeah. And I should do the same thing with Alicia. But... what about our child?" Alicia took a deep breath as tears appeared in her eyes as she said, "Max... there's something difficult I need to tell you."
The Present
Max was cleaning the living room when Sydney walked in through the front door looking humiliated. Max then looking at Sydney said, "So... can I ask how the competition went?" Sydney then sat down on the couch silently as Max eventually sat down next to her. Sydney then looked at Max and said, "Dad... I forgive you. What you did to mom was wrong but... well, today, I experienced how easy it can feel to fall into the trap of wanting to cheat. It may not have been on the scale of cheating you did but... I think I understand how you might have felt now. Like how a moment of weakness can feel. And I know you're sorry, because you've always forgiven me for every time I've been sorry. And... I'm sorry dad." Sydney then hugged Max as Max said, "No apology needed Syd. I'm indeed the one that's so sorry for hurting you. And I promise every day I'll try to be a perfect dad for you." Sydney then looked at Max as she said, "You're not a perfect dad. But you always try. And that's what really makes you perfect. But now that we've gotten past all that... dad... I'd like to meet my secret sister now, wherever she is, or whoever she is." Max had a sad look on his face as he said, "Oh Sydney. I'm sorry but... the woman I had an affair with... she lost the baby. You know what the term miscarriage means?" Sydney now looked devastated as she said, "No. I mean, yes, I know what it means but... you mean I don't have a secret sister?" Max turned his head and said, "No. But I promise you, had the child from my affair been born, I would've helped take responsibility for her. I would've helped provide for her, and definitely would've made sure you'd get a chance to grow up alongside her. I know this is hard to hear Sydney but..." Sydney turned her head and with a brave face said, "No, it's okay dad. I've still got you. That's what matters."
13 Years Ago...
Max was preparing food in the kitchen, when Alicia wearing a long coat walked through the door and said, "Hello Max." Max's face lit up as he said, "Alicia!" Max and Alicia ran into each other's arms and kissed. After a moment, the two stepped away as Max said, "You're home early! How..." Alicia then said, "I thought long and hard about what you said and you're right. There's plenty of sick people out there that need my help to feel better, but there are other people that can help them. However the only person that can help Max Reynolds feel better is me." Max then said, "But Alicia, your work is important. I don't want you to give it up." Alicia then said, "But I'm not. I already got a job at the local hospital. I'll still be using my skills for good. But now it means I get to come home nearly very day now to you and our family." Then Max said, "Wait. Are you saying..." Alicia then took off her long coat and showed her stomach size had increased as she said, "I'm pretty sure it happened last time I was home four months ago. Max... you're going to be a father." Max then smiled as he said, "Alicia. I love you so much. And I promise from now on, I will be 100% committed to you and our child forever!" Max and Alicia smiled and then kissed once again.
The Present
The doorbell rang, and Sydney opened the door seeing Olive. Olive smiled as she said, "Ready for our week long sleepover!" Sydney smiled as she said, "Totally!" Then Max walked into the room as he said, "Hey Olive. You have all your things you need for the week?" Olive then said, "Yep Mr. Reynolds. Thanks for letting me stay over again this week. I always get queasy when my family decides to take their annual week long tour of the world's fastest roller coasters." Then suddenly Olive's mom appeared at the front door and said, "Olive, you forgot one of your suitcases." Olive then took the suitcase and said, "Oh, sorry. Hey Mr. R. You mind taking these up to Sydney's room while the two of us start doing our makeup?" Max then said, "Well maybe you two should start learning to..." Olive then smiled and said, "Thanks Mr. R. You're the best!" Then Sydney and Olive ran up the stairs together. Max then looked at Olive's mom as he said, "That's middle school girls for you." Olive's mom smiled as she said, "Well... thank you Max for always being there... for our daughter." Max nodded and said, "I always will be. By the way... does Frank still think..." Olive's mom then said, "Does he still think Olive is his daughter? Well there are times I think our thirteen year long deception is about to crack, but... so far, so good. Still... if he did find out, I think he would still care for Olive for the rest of his life." Max nodded and said, "And I know I'll still be doing the same."
THE END
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What Rhymes With “AY”?
Warning: This survey has 114 questions
1. Do you enjoy listening to reggae music?
I haven’t listened to much reggae music.
2. Have you ever rolled in hay before?
No. I’m actually allergic.
3. Has anyone ever broken a promise they made?
Of course.
4. Last time you went to a café, what did you order?
Coffee.
5. Have you ever been to a matinee performance before?
No.
6. Would you like a chance to ride in Santa’s sleigh? Why or why not?
Would it be like the one in The Santa Clause that had a hot chocolate and cookie dispenser? ha. Swap the hot chocolate with coffee, though.
7. Have you ever taken ballet lessons before? How about any other type of dance lessons?
No. That was actually something I wished I could do when I was a kid and in high school. I thought the dance team was cool.
8. Do you own any sexy lingerie?
Nope.
9. Have you ever caught a bouquet of flowers at a wedding before?
Nope.
10. Do you know how to do the Whip/Nae Nae?
I do, actually.
11. Have you ever played croquet before?
Nope.
12. Has a horse ever neighed at you before?
No.
13. How much do you weigh?
I’m not exactly sure, but I am definitely underweight.
14. Do you ever wear a beret?
No.
15. When’s the last time you’ve been to a buffet?
Back in February. There was a breakfast buffet at Disneyland where you got to visit with various characters while you ate. It was cute.
16. Have you ever attended a cabaret?
No.
17. Have you ever eaten at Swiss Chalet?
No. Never even heard of it.
18. Do you know how to crochet? How about doing macrame?
No.
19. Do you have a duvet on your bed?
No.
20. What was the last thing that ricocheted off of a surface?
My phone did.
21. What do you put on your ice cream sundaes?
I’m good with just vanilla ice cream and strawberry syrup, but sometimes I’ll add chocolate syrup as well. Bananas and whip cream are also great additions. Wow, it’s been yearsss since I’ve had one but that sounds really good right now.
22. Have you ever woken up to the “Reveille” bugle wake-up call at summer camp?
No. I’ve never been to summer camp.
23. What is your favorite entrée to order at your favorite restaurant?
My favorite restaurant is Wingstop and I always get the garlic parm and lemon pepper boneless wings.
24. Is crème brulee your favorite dessert?
I don’t like actual creme brulee, but I like the creme brulee latte at Starbucks that they offer in the winter.
25. Do you know anyone who wears a toupee?
I don’t think so.
26. Have you ever made a soufflé before? Was it good?
Nope. I like the spinach and artichoke breakfast souffle from Panera, though.
27. Do you prefer ice cream or sorbet?
Ice cream.
28. Do you know anyone named Renee, Jay, Clay, or Ray?
I know someone whose middle name is Renee if that counts, and I also know a Jay and a Ray.
29. Have you ever had café au lait?
Yes.
30. Have you ever gone to a restaurant called “Chez ______”?
No.
31. Hey, how’s it going?
It’s almost 730AM I should be going to sleep. My medicine I took a bit ago is making me feel a little nauseous, too, cause I took it on an empty stomach. That wouldn’t have been a problem if I just went to bed, but nooo. :/
32. When’s the last time you wore a lei?
It’s been several years.
33. Did you obey your parents when you were younger?
Yes.
34. Who do you want to hunt down like prey?
No one.
35. Have you ever had whey before?
No.
36. What message would you like to convey to someone right now?
Nothing at the moment.
37. Whose survey did you take last?
I don’t know who made it.
38. Have you ever been to a bay before?
Yes.
39. Do you have a bae?
“Or nah.” Ha, old Vine reference. Anyway, no, I do not.
40. What’s your favorite day of the week?
They’re all the same to me, really, since I’m not in school nor do I have a job.
41. Have you ever had to read “The Cay”?
Nope. That title doesn’t ring a bell.
42. Are you feeling okay?
I’m feeling tired, hot, and kind of nauseous.
43. Do you know anyone who is gay?
Yeah, a few people.
44. Do you like the acting of Tina Fey?
Sure.
45. Have you ever listened to The Fray?
Yes, I like a few of their songs.
46. Do you have any frayed clothing?
No.
47. Do you prefer bluebirds or bluejays?
Bluebirds.
48. Is May your favorite month?
No. I only like saying, “It’s gonna be May” haha. You know, the NSYNC/Justin Timberlake meme.
49. May I ask you some more questions?
Sure.
50. Have you ever voted “nay” to anything before? What?
Yeah. I was a board member for a club in college and there were things we voted on.
51. Have you ever wanted to make someone pay for something that they did?
I’m not a revengeful person.
52. Do you ever just lay around all day?
That’s all I pretty much do everyday.
53. Are you a happy little frickin’ ray of sunshine?
No. I’m a little black raincloud.
54. Is there something that you would like to say to someone?
“There are many things that I would like to say to you, but I don’t know howwww.”
55. When’s the last time that you were so excited that you exclaimed (or at least thought) “yay!” ?
I said that the other night when my brother said he was making his bomb spaghetti. haha.
56. Have you ever felt like you’ve lost your way?
I’ve been feeling that way for the past few years.
57. Do you ever wish that people would just go away?
lol I’ve felt that way in some situations.
58. Have you heard an animal bray before? What animal was it?
Yeah, a donkey.
59. What’s the last thing that you made out of clay?
Nothing.
60. Are you starting to go gray?
I’ve found a few here and there. D: It was like the minute I turned 30 I found my first one, ha.
61. Are you feeling okay right now?
No. I still feel how I felt earlier when you asked how it was goin’. :/
62. Do you pray? How often?
Yes, but not nearly as much as I ought to.
63. What’s the best play you’ve seen before?
The Phantom of the Opera.
64. What did you like to play with when you were younger?
I was obsessed Barbies, I could play for hours. I also liked playing house and school.
65. Do you know how to sashay?
“Sashay away.”
66. Would you like to slay dragons?
Nah. I wouldn’t want to mess with a dragon.
67. Have you gotten your pets spayed?
All my dogs were fixed/spayed. My doggo was spayed before we could take her home from the adoption shelter.
68. Have you ever begged someone to stay with you?
Not begged, but I didn’t want them to leave.
69. Has the room ever started to sway before?
I hateeee that feeling.
70. When’s the last time you ate a meal on a tray?
Uhhh. I don’t recall.
71. Do you know how to do math arrays?
You’re speaking math so no.
72. Have you ever experienced a delay of any sort?
Yeah.
73. Do you have any tooth decay?
No.
74. When’s the last time you wrote an essay? What was it about?
Back when I was still in school, so it’s been 5 years now since the last time.
75. When’s the last time you competed in a relay race?
I participated in a few wheelchair race events when I was a kid.
76. Have you ever wondered how you could ever repay someone?
Yes. I wish I could spoil and take care of my mom one day for everything she has done and continues to do for me. She deserves so much.
77. What did you do today?
So far just Tumblr, surveys, and listening to ASMR.
78. Would you ever take in a stray animal?
We don’t really have room for another pet, but I’d want to help in some way. Once we had a stray dog wander in our backyard and we took care of him until we were able to find him a good home. We also once had a cat who often went into our backyard and she ended up having kittens, so we cared for them and found them all homes, including the mama.
79. What’s the last cleaning spray that you’ve used?
Lysol disinfectant spray.
80. When’s the last time you splayed your fingers?
I’ll do it right now.
81. Has your airway ever been blocked before?
Yes. Such a scary, traumatizing experience. It’s why I can’t take pills now at all unless I can crush them.
82. Has anyone ever led you astray?
In some ways.
83. When it’s hot out, do you sleep with blankets anyways?
Noooo.
84. Have you ever felt betrayed?
Yep. Not a nice feeling.
85. When’s the last time you listened to a DJ?
My cousin’s quince a few years ago.
86. What’s the last unfortunate thing that happened, to your dismay?
This pandemic.
87. When is payday?
The 1st of the month (disability).
88. Do good moments or bad moments replay through your mind more often?
My mind likes to dwell on all the bad stuff instead.
89. Do you prepay for anything?
I typically like to pay all my bills at the same time each month instead of waiting until the day each of them are due.
90. Have you ever walked on a runway before?
No.
91. Do you know a runaway?
No.
92. Have you ever ridden the subway before? How about driven on the skyway?
Nope.
93. Have you ever used an ashtray before?
No.
94.How do you feel about public displays of affection?
I don’t mind a little bit, like a quick kiss, hand holding, arms around each other, or a hug.
95. Where would you like to go for a getaway?
I wish I could rent a beach house and have my own private beach area.
96. Do you do any gateway drugs?
Some say weed is a gateway drug, but I personally never had any interest in try anything beyond that.
97. Have you ever felt like someone wasn’t meeting you halfway?
Yes.
98. What were you doing at midday?
I’ll be sleeping.
99. Have you ever stopped midway through a survey before?
Yeah, I did that with this one. I started it last night, but got too tired to finish it.
100. What’s your favorite holiday?
Christmas.
101. Do you like to drive on the highway/thruway?
I don’t drive, but yeah I prefer taking the highway over driving through town and hitting all the red lights.
102. Have you ever put something on layaway before?
I haven’t, personally, but I’ve gone shopping with my mom and added stuff of my own along with her’s that she put on layaway.
103. Have you ever been cornered in an alleyway?
No.
104. When is your birthday?
July 28th.
105. Do you know anyone who was a castaway?
No.
106. How long is your workday?
I don’t have a job.
107. What do you typically do on the weekdays?
I do the same things everyday.
108. Is there a walkway or a pathway to your front door?
Yeah.
109. What do you want to be someday?
A functioning adult.
110. What is something that you do everyday?
Drink coffee.
111. Do you park in your driveway? Do you even have a driveway?
I don’t have a car, but yeah my house has a driveway that my parent’s use for their cars.
112. Have you ever won a giveaway?
Yes.
113. How important is foreplay?
I wouldn’t know.
114. Hooray! You’ve made it to the end! What are you going to do now?
Eat my ramen. I was waiting for it to cool a bit.
[a-zebra-is-a-striped-horse]
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History Part 11
Author’s Note: Yay, the next part is here! I hope you all enjoy it and I hope to have part 12 out soon :) please leave feedback and let me know what you think!
Warnings: language
*******************************************************************************************
I paced in my apartment anxiously waiting to hear the knocks on my door that announced his arrival. You asked him to come. You know it’s just to get answers. It’ll be fine. But would it? I hadn’t seen Derek since I blew up on him at the school. I had practically told him I never wanted to see him again if I could help it. As everything sped through my head, so did a range a whole range of emotions.
Anxiety. Anger. Sadness. Longing. Butterflies. More anger. Frustration. Excitement. Anger again.
Frankly, it was exhausting. It was almost a relief when the knocks finally did come, ending the anticipation and forcing me to confront everything head-on. Taking a deep breath, I walked over to the door and turned the knob to swing it open.
There he stood, in all his leather-jacketed glory, a cautious smile on his face.
“Hi,” he said, hearing his voice in person for the first time in weeks sending off fireworks in my stomach. Stop dammit!
“Hi,” I breathed before snapping myself into stern mode. “I want to be very clear that I called you to come over here to talk about one thing and one thing only. The alpha pack.” The grin immediately dropped from Derek’s face.
“Get inside,” he muttered, suddenly all business. “And lock the door behind me.” With a roll of my eyes, I did as he said. Once we were secured inside, I crossed my arms and started demanding answers.
“What the hell is going on? Scott is freaked out, telling me to be careful and saying that you’re scared of what’s going on, which is crazy-“
“No, it’s not. Not this time,” Derek said. It had been years since I’d seen real fear of danger in his eyes and honestly, it scared me even more. “Y/N, Scott’s right. You need to do whatever you can to stay safe. Honestly, I….” Derek’s eyes became almost pleading as he hesitated. “I think you should leave town.”
“What?” I laughed. “No! That is not happening, I am not going to just up and run and leave my family and friends behind!”
“Y/N, you don’t understand,” he insisted, a hint of anger coming out in his tone. “You don’t get what they are and what they’ll do. They will stop at nothing to get what they want, and they don’t care what or who stands in their way. They’re ruthless and coldblooded.”
“I am not going to just abandon everyone I love,” I said, voice getting low. “You tell me what I need to know to protect myself and then that’s the end of this conversation.”
“You wanna know what you, no supernatural ability whatsoever, can do to protect yourself from a pack of bloodthirsty alphas?” His tone was dripping with sass. “Nothing. If you insist on staying here, there’s nothing you can do. Or your little deputy boyfriend.” Those words sent fire coursing through my veins.
“Get out,” I deadpanned, trying my best not to lose my mind on him yet again. Derek seemed to immediately regret his words, sighing and running a hand down his face.
“Y/N, I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have said that. Just let me help you-“
“I said, get OUT.” Defeated, Derek headed for the door. I sighed, trying to come down off of the mountain of anger that I had so quickly ascended. Before he left, Derek paused in the doorway to leave one last quiet message.
“Scott’s right, you need to watch out. If I can’t protect you…just…. If- if something happened to you, I don’t know what I’d do.” And with that, he was gone.
“Fuck,” I muttered under my breath, still angry at what had just happened seconds ago, but still trying to process Derek’s words of warning. If he was worried, then this was something much more serious than Beacon Hills had dealt with in a long time.
Sighing, I got myself a glass of water and headed for the couch, ready to sit down and try to let some of the tension I was holding go. Pulling my phone out of my pocket, I smiled as I looked down at the screen. A text from Jordan was waiting for me asking me to call him when I got a chance. I waited only a few rings before his comforting voice was picking up on the other end.
“Hey there, gorgeous,” he greeted, making me grin like a kid on Christmas. “What are you doing tonight?”
“Uh not much,” I answered, really hoping for a good response to my next question. “Do you want to come over tonight and watch a movie? We can order pizza.”
“Yeah, I’d love to.”
“Great! God, I need to take some time to relax,” I sighed, rolling my aching neck on my shoulders. “A chill night will be perfect.”
“What’s going on? Work stress?” Jordan asked, concern lacing his tone. Shit.
“Yeah, yeah,” I lied, scrunching my nose in distaste. “There’s a lot going on at work and I’ve been avoiding paying bills, so that’s a chore that needs done. Plus I’m trying to help Scott with his school work and-“ A strange scraping coming from my door cut me off.
“Y/N? Is everything okay?”
“Yeah, it’s fine,” I mumbled, distracted by the noise that just happened again, what the fuck? “I think there’s a cat outside or something.”
“Does one of your neighbors have a cat that could’ve gotten out?” Parrish asked.
“Um, I think Mrs. Delrosa has one, let me just open the door and see-“ Before I could even get to the door, the scratching turned to an unbelievably loud metallic scrape, making me jump and gasp. “Jordan, I don’t think it’s a cat,” I rushed out, heart pounding in my chest. “Call the sheriff, I need you to get here as soon as possible!”
BANG!
I screamed as my apartment door burst open and slammed into the wall, two huge figures stepping through the frame and coming straight for me. The next few seconds were a blur of fangs, growls, claws, and glowing red eyes as a scream ripping from my throat and my phone was knocked from my hand, leaving Jordan on the line to listen to it all helplessly. I could barely hear him yelling my name through the device as large hands grabbed my arms. Struggling as much as I could, it was no use, not against two alpha werewolves. One of them growled something about my fight being annoying, which was the last thing I heard before something smacked into my skull and everything went dark.
Throbbing. Strong, intense throbbing pounded its way through my head every few seconds as I struggled to open my eyes. Focusing them through the pain was hard, so hard that I wanted to just close them again and go back to sleep, but I couldn’t. A groan escaped my throat as I slowly sat myself up. Feeling something cold against my ankle, I looked down only to find myself cuffed to a pipe and rolled my eyes. Of course.
“So, just human. How interesting,” a voice from the darkness said. My head snapped that direction to find a man walking out of the shadows, large arms crossed over a broad chest. I narrowed my eyes as I took him in.
“How interesting that a werewolf would be so intrigued with someone who’s just human,” I responded, defiance in my tone. There was a pause and I looked down again at my ankle chain, adjusting my leg and hearing it rattle. “Your supernatural ability sure didn’t help your taste in accessories, I see.”
“She’s sassy, too,” another, similar voice said as someone else came forward. Someone who looked just like the first man. Instantly I knew that these were the two alphas who had burst into my apartment only….how long ago was that? Hours? Days..?
“That’ll just make this all the more fun.”
“Or more annoying.”
“Listen,” I said. “I don’t know what you want. But I swear to God, you hurt me and you’ll have one hell of a price to pay.” It was hard to sound threatening in this situation, but I did my best.
“Oh, we don’t think Derek will be very inclined to do anything to us while we have you. Besides, once we get what we want, and you help us do it, he can have you back. With minor damage to the package, he can’t be that upset,” one of them said.
“He’ll be too busy with another mess after we’re done anyway,” the other added. If only this throbbing in my head would go away so I could think!
“Derek isn’t the only one you have to worry about,” I mumbled, rattling my ankle chain again. The twins looked at each other, one smiling and the other serious. The pain in my skull was starting to take over so I had to strain to hear what they were saying and still only caught small bits that didn’t amount to much.
“Keep longer…handy…”
“Deucalion’s orders…”
“Secrets don’t make friends,” I called to them, a dopey smirk on my face. Neither was amused.
“We’ll be back when it’s time. Get comfy, it’ll be awhile.” And with that, they headed back into the darkness and were gone, leaving me alone with a throbbing headache and a stupid ankle chain.
#history#history series#teen wolf#teen wolf fanfiction#teen wolf imagines#teen wolf blog#tw#writing#series#imagine#derek hale#derek hale imagine#derek hale x reader#jordan parrish#jordan parrish x reader#jordan parrish imagine#alpha pack
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El Amor Todo Lo Puede Chapter 53: After The Storm
For @thomas1340, who has been waiting a LONG time
Chapters 1-50 Chapter 51 Chapter 52
Laura had very quietly asked Sonny Carisi to take her to the airport, and asked him not to tell anyone. She had said her goodbyes to everyone else. She really couldn’t do it again. And she had a particular question she needed to ask Sonny.
One lone tear streaked her face as, for the last time, she locked the door of the apartment she’d shared with Rafael. She’d almost made it without crying. She would have been OK, except for the hollow sound the door made in the apartment as it closed. That hurt. It sounded like her heart felt.
Sonny took her suitcase from her and they walked together to the elevator.
The pain on Sonny’s face reflected her own. She wanted to comfort him, even as he tried to comfort her. “I wish I knew what to say. I don’t know how to help. I want to, so much. But I don’t…”
“I know, Carisi. And you are helping. It’s just… gonna take a long time.”
They were silent all the way to Sonny’s squad car, parked directly in front of the building with the emergency flashers going. Today was hard enough without getting into it with some flunky about fucking parking.
When they had buckled in, Carisi turned to Laura. “You said there was a question you wanted to ask me.”
“Yeah, there is.” She took a deep breath. “I need to know, Sonny. Would you tell me… when you pray… is God still there?”
The question, and the lost, frightened look in her eyes, broke his heart.
“Yes. Laura, yes. And He loves you. And He loves Rafael. And He’s got you. I don’t know much, but I know that.”
“I’m so mad at Him, Sonny! I’m so mad at Him for letting me waste so much time when I could have been with Rafael, and then taking him away as soon as we found each other.”
“I know. Me, too. And that’s OK. God can handle us being mad at him. If you’re mad, be mad. He knows, anyway.” Sonny blew his nose loudly enough to make Laura grin through her tears.
“And one more thing-” he began.
“Don’t tell me it’s His plan. I hate His fucking plan! His plan sucks!” Laura’s anger, always near the surface these days, flared. Sonny wasn’t bothered by it. He shared it.
“You’ll see Rafael again. You’ll be together again. He’s not gone. He’s just gone from here.”
“OK.” She couldn’t say more than that at this point. She didn’t know what she believed. But she heard Sonny say it. And she listened.
“So the reason I asked you to come get me so many hours ahead of my flight is, I wondered if you would, um… go to Mass with me? I thought maybe I could hold onto you and you could believe for both of us.”
“I’d be honored.”
“St. Augustine’s has a Mass in half an hour.”
Sonny nodded and pulled the car out into the street.
*********
Date: September 15 1430pm
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Hi from Stockholm
Hi, Peter,
Hope you will recognize my name after so long. If you delete this, I deserve it. I got your cards and emails, and I don’t know the words to tell you how much I appreciated them. You’re so much better of a friend than me. Sorry I didn’t write before. I’d rather talk to you than pretty much anyone else, I just haven’t really been talking to anyone for a while. Except my Mom, of course. That shit doesn’t fly with her. And Lucia, of course, because… well.
I hope I told you how much it meant to me that you came to New York. I don’t really remember much that week. So if I didn’t tell you, I knew you were there and it mattered.
Don’t know whether you heard this, but I’m in Stockholm, of all places. Liv helped me find this assignment and here I am, trying to learn how to pronounce letters we don’t even have in English and words that, between you and me, are really longer than is entirely appropriate.
I’m OK. I like it here. My job is all computer geekery all the time. It’s interesting. Do you believe I’m a fed?! We’ve been working on this one case for seven months, and they finally made the arrests this week. The only downside is they don’t let me beat anyone up.
A friend from work, Maiken, is showing me Stockholm. So between work and exploring with her, I have enough to think about other than my sorry self. Thank God, most people here start learning English in grade school, so my hellacious rudimentary Swedish isn’t so much of a handicap. Maiken taught me how to swear (no surprise I learned that first) which comes in handy sometimes on the Tunnelbana (subway to us).
I know I’m not worthy, but be merciful and write me back. I want to know how you are. I ask my idiot brothers but they suck. They only remember the scores of the games you go to. I hope you wear a disguise when you see them so no one associates you with them.
Love you.
Date: September 15 1450pm
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Hi from Stockholm
Sunshine,
So great to hear from you. I can’t stop smiling. And here I am writing you back immediately. What a sucker. So glad you’re doing OK but you’re too far away. I was mad when you left the country, but I know short of leg irons there’s no stopping you.
I’m good. Got a promotion. Yay, me. Mark asks me why I bother having an apartment, then answers himself it’s where my clothes live. Weekly, he says this and expects me to laugh. My life.
I miss you, Sunshine. Please tell me when you’re coming home. Or tell me when I can come see you.
I love you,
Peter
Date: September 15 1510pm
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Hi from Stockholm
Hi, Peter,
I’m writing you back right away, too. Who’s the sucker now? Congratulations on your promotion! Mark’s joke sounds so much like him. I miss him. I miss you.
Would you really want to come see me here? I told Maiken about you and she wants to meet you. Beware: she has the messiest love live I’ve ever encountered. It’s like Game of Thrones, except with - no, it’s pretty much Game of Thrones. You have been warned. But she’s cool. She shows you amazing places to eat and teaches you how to swear in Swedish.
I can never figure out the time difference, but I think we can text if you want to. There’s some shit you have do on your phone (technical phrase) but I can look into it if you want.
Love,
Laura d/b/a Sunshine
Date: September 15 1520pm
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Re: Hi from Stockholm
Sunshine,
No I don’t want to fucking text, I want to hear your voice! Give me your number or call me.
Peter
Date: September 15 1620pm
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Re: Re: Hi from Stockholm
Peter,
Rawr tiger. I called you but you didn’t answer. You should have my number in your phone now, though. I also texted it to you. Call me but only if you’re going to be nice because I’ve thought about you a lot and in my thoughts you’re nice. I have no idea how it works, if we can just call and it’s like in the US or if we’ll get a massive bill but I don’t care. I heard your voice on your message and now I can’t wait to talk to you. Even if you’re not nice.
Love,
Laura
Date: November 18 0953am
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: Flight Info
Sunshine,
My itinerary is attached. Looking so forward to seeing you. Your family is pissed that you’re going to be with me for the holidays instead of them. I pretend to feel bad.
I want to bring you a present. What should I get you?
Love,
Peter
Date: December 8 2120pm
From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Subject: St. Thomas!!!
Hi, Peter,
Here is a picture of me and Maiken. I’m the one on the left. So you’ll recognize me. Holy shit, I’m going to see you in two weeks!
You mentioned my family is pissed I’m spending the holidays with you. You have ignored my question (twice) about how Katie feels about it. She must be some kind of fucking saint if she’s not tearing you limb from limb. For the millionth time, she can totally come! I don’t want to cause trouble for your love life and I’m dying to meet her.
Love,
Laura
P.S. For my Christmas present, you have to be in all the selfies I want. I know how much you hate them but you are wrong. Terribly, dreadfully, completely, utterly wrong.
Peter:
Just landed. See you when you get here.
Peter:
Checked in. Place is nice.
Laura:
In line in customs. WTF. I brought like 2 bikinis and a dress. Do I really need to be behind the family with 9 kids who are apparently emigrating here and brought everything they own? There may be livestock. I’m about to lose it. For real.
Peter:
DO NOT lose it. If you cause an international incident and make me miss out on those bikinis I will not be happy.
Laura:
Can’t help it. I’ve been on a different continent from you for over a year and now we’re on the same tiny island and I’m trapped in bureaucratic hell. I’m not the most patient person.
Peter:
Indeed. Really?
Laura:
FU 😊
It was after ten p.m. when Laura finally arrived at the hotel. She intended to check in, get to her room, take a quick shower, and then let Peter know she was there. She didn’t want to be hagged out after over a day travelling when he saw her for the first time in over a year. She should have known. As she dragged her suitcase wearily across the rough tile floor of the lobby to the hotel’s check-in desk, she caught sight of Peter as he stood up from a wicker settee across the room.
For a moment, she just stood staring at him as he strode across the lobby toward her, smiling so hard it looked like it hurt. Or maybe she just thought that because her own smile was painfully wide. Sweet merciful heaven, he was so fucking beautiful! Everything about him was gorgeous, including his too-short hair and the truly heinous flowered board shorts he wore. She dropped the handle of her suitcase and let her carry-on fall to the floor as she ran toward him and leapt into his arms. He instantly swept her off her feet and she wrapped her legs around him, squeezing him with all her limbs as hard as she could. Both laughed and cried.
The desk attendant was becoming a little uncomfortable the longer they embraced, laughing and wiping tears, saying all the stupid things people said when they met after a prolonged absence. Americans, she thought. Give me some nice, polite Japanese people anyday. And these two looked a little old to be behaving like this, anyway. Her eyes widened when, many minutes later, the woman came to the desk and checked into her own room, separate from the man’s, and not even adjoining. Affair? But no, no one was joining them; they each had booked a room for only one guest. Whatever, the desk clerk thought. The day I understand the weird shit tourists do…
While Laura showered, Peter relaxed on her balcony, sipping a beer he’d brought from his own room. It wasn’t long before she appeared, toweling off her wet hair and wearing an ankle-length cotton halter dress in a very colorful print.
“You should have warned me about that dress,” Peter said, holding a hand over his eyes. “I woulda worn my sunglasses.”
“I got two words for you, hotshot. Those shorts.”
“Where’d you get a dress like that in Sweden?”
“Amazon. Like the entire rest of the known world.”
Their conversation went on like that, light and happy and easy, while Laura combed her hair and they sat watching the waves. Even at night, there was enough light to see the rocky shoreline in front of their balconies. Laura was exhausted after travelling for over a day, but didn’t want to miss one second with Peter. Eventually, she simply couldn’t sit anymore and said that she needed to stretch out.
“C’mon,” she said, “We can talk in here.”
In a very short time after they laid down on her bed, she under a sheet with her head on the pillows, he on top of the sheet with his head at the foot of the bed, they fell into a deep sleep. Peter woke during the night, and thought about crawling in with Laura, but decided it was best just to grab a pillow and stay where he was. There was no chance he would go back to his room, alone, when he could be here with her.
The next day, they hurried through breakfast so that they could catch a dive boat leaving for a sheltered bay perfect for amateurs. They snorkeled all day, exploring the bay and pointing at colorful fish, taking underwater selfies (which Peter said were the only thing stupider than selfies on land but tolerated all day long), and enjoying the sun and warm water. They had been smart enough to bring sun guard shirts, since both were coming from cold climates and had no tans at all. By the time the boat landed back at the pier near their hotel, they were both too tired to think about trying to shower and get dressed to go out for dinner. They settled for stew chicken from a street vendor they passed on the walk back to the hotel.
An hour after they returned to the hotel, Peter heard Laura’s knock on his door. She had showered and just knotted her wet hair at the back of her head, and was wearing a cool, cotton wrap dress that actually belonged to her friend Maiken. When Peter opened the door, he was wearing those damn board shorts again, and nothing else. As always, Laura immediately noticed his trim, muscular torso and his lovely, brawny arms. Tonight, though, she hoped he was planning to put on a shirt.
They sat on Peter’s balcony in the cool evening breeze, looking at the pictures they’d taken that day. There were some beautiful shots of the schools of yellow and purple fish, some of sea turtles swimming near them, and several very cute photos of the two of them. They’d also taken pictures of each other, some of which were very good, and some of which they teased each other about.
When they had tired of the pictures, they sat, side by side, sipping drinks and watching the moon come up over the water.
“I could live here,” Laura noted.
“You don’t like Stockholm?”
“I like Stockholm a lot, but it’s cold most of the time. I love this warmth.”
Peter sighed contentedly. “It really doesn’t seem like Christmas.”
“It doesn’t.”
He looked over at her. “Which, I’m guessing, is the point?”
Laura didn’t look at him. She took a long drink of the passionfruit juice she was nursing. “I don’t want the holidays. Can we leave it at that?”
“Sure. I want to hear more about Stockholm.”
Laura didn’t know whether Peter gave two shits about Stockholm, but she loved him for changing the subject. He was actually quite interested in her new life, but he also knew that this was only her second Christmas without Rafael, and that the two of them had gotten engaged on New Years’ Eve. Peter understood why Laura would need to ignore the holidays for a while.
They talked about a lot of things as they sat there, sometimes sharing stories about their work, sometimes talking about the Parkers, sometimes showing eachother photos and goofy internet memes on their phones. At one point, Peter scrolled past a picture of himself and a woman, sitting at a restaurant table clinking cocktail glasses and smiling. He had his arm around her.
“Wait, wait! Go back. Is that Katie?” She asked.
Reluctantly, Peter scrolled back and handed Laura his phone. “Yeah, that’s Katie and me on my birthday.”
“Wow. She’s a knockout.”
“Yeah.”
Laura handed Peter back his phone. “What?”
“Nothing. She’s beautiful. Yes.”
“Hmmmm. Not detecting a lot of enthusiasm there. ‘Nothing. She’s beautiful.’” She mimicked.
“I don’t really want to talk about Katie. Can we leave it at that?”
They looked at eachother and Laura shrugged more casually than she felt. “Of course.”
A silence descended, during which Peter absently flipped through pictures on his phone and Laura looked out at the waves and the moon. After a few minutes, Peter held his phone out to her and showed her a picture of the two of them huddled under a blanket at a Chicago Bears game, snow falling thickly on their hats and on the rowdy crowd around them. They chuckled.
“That was so damn cold,” Peter said.
“My toes hurt so bad when they thawed out. I thought I had frostbite.”
“Good game, though.”
“Great game. Worth losing a couple toes. How many years ago was that?”
“Don’t ask me that. I turned forty last year. I don’t like to think about how long ago stuff was.”
Another silence.
“Peter?”
“Hmmmmm?”
“I would like to have one minute of serious conversation, and then no more for the rest of our time here. You game?”
He looked out to sea. “One minute.” He made it sound like one minute of having bamboo under his fingernails.
“Are you OK?”
He looked over at her, surprise on his face. “You’re the one who… Yeah, I’m OK. I’m supposed to be asking you that.”
“Don’t lie to me, Peter Stone. I’ve known you too long. I’ll tell you how I am if you’ll tell me how you are.”
“Sunshine, I’m fine. I just don’t feel right about talking to you about some other woman. And, to be honest, turning forty kind of kicked my ass. I’ll be OK. If that’s the worst problem I have, I’m doing pretty good. OK?”
She looked hard at him for a moment. “OK. But you can talk to me if you want. And, for the record, you’re a seriously hot old guy. I’d hit that.”
Peter couldn’t help but laugh. Only she would say something like that to him. Only she could. “Well, thanks for that. Now you. How are you? Really?”
“I’m… OK. I feel like I’ve been frozen and I’m kind of thawing out around the edges, you know? I don’t really want to, but that’s what seems to be happening.”
“You’re too young not to.”
“Fuck,” she said, with some bite in it, then sighed heavily.
“You’re going to be OK, Sunshine.”
“Yeah, I guess. Someday. But not today. And not tomorrow.”
Peter reached out a hand and she put her hand in his. Their fingers entwined.
“You’re my best friend, you know,” he said, looking out over the moon-dappled sea.
“You’re my best friend, too.”
“Can the minute of seriousness be over now?”
“Hell, yes.”
Again that night, they eventually moved to stretch out on the bed to talk, and fell asleep next to one another. This time, Laura was the one who awoke in the night. She was cold from being uncovered in her thin, short dress, and crawled under the covers, resisting the temptation to cuddle up to Peter.
*************
The rest of their time in St. Thomas was spent lounging in the sun, sightseeing, kayaking, swimming and snorkeling. They were surprised to find that the most fun they had wasn’t in the ocean, but ziplining through the rainforest canopy. Peter’s favorite picture of the trip was one that an attendant had taken of them, wearing helmets and harnesses and laughing their heads off.
True to their agreement on that second night, they had spoken about most aspects of their current lives, but hadn’t tried to tackle any subject more difficult than annoying coworkers. The front desk clerk who had checked Laura into her room would have been very confused by the fact that they never spent one night sleeping apart, but never got more intimate than the hug they’d shared that first night in the lobby.
#law & order svu#law & order: special victims unit#rafael barba#raul esparza#chicago pd#chicago fire#chicago med#chicago justice#philip winchester#peter stone#I Will Stand Alone Loving On Peter Stone If I Have To
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