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#and I am not going to delete it if it makes someone uncomfortable
genericpuff · 2 days
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(You can delete this ask if it makes you uncomfortable) Do you think I should give up on my dream of being a webcomic artist? It's been what I'd been wanting to for years yet from what I'm hearing, it's hard to get money and an audience and that the mainstream webcomic hosting platforms don't treat their creators well. It doesn't help that while my art is decent, I don't really know how to create webcomics beyond like really short 4-5 panel comics even though I'd been drawing for many years. There's also the issue of my ADHD making it difficult to commit to stuff but then again at least that can be hopefully fixed once I get medicated. So, now the career of a webcomic artist sounds like a pipe dream at best. Is it worth pursuing, even if I don't make much money with it?
"Do you think I should give up on my dream of being a webcomic artist?"
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And this isn't just for you, anon, this is for everyone who follows my nonsense here.
Yes, it's hard to build an audience.
It's even harder to make money.
You should still make webcomics if you really want to do it.
The only practical piece of advice I can give you from the perspective of someone who's been doing this for years is to manage your expectations. Because that's the biggest mistake a lot of webcomic artists make (and I too, made this mistake) they go into it setting the bar that it HAS to result in them making a living off it, getting famous off it, etc. when that's unfortunately only the reality for the 1% who get lucky or have an advantage that the other 99% don't have. And then, of course, failing to meet those ridiculously high expectations makes the fall hurt that much harder if you fail, especially with odds like that stacked against you. That's not to say you shouldn't set a bar for yourself, but you have to set it in a place that's reasonable. Especially if you're an artist with ADHD (same, mood), we have a REAL bad habit of setting the bar unreasonably high for ourselves when we're still learning and getting our feet wet (it's why we're always taking on new hobbies after getting inspired by musicians or crafters and then getting immediately discouraged when we're not suddenly able to do the thing with that same amount of skill).
Set the bar in a reasonable place with reasonable expectations, and then when you MEET that bar, you'll have even more motivation and confidence to aim higher. What won't give you confidence is setting the bar alongside the pros who have been at this for years, because not only will it take way too long to hit that for you to see results, you might give up before you even come close because of how far away the bar is.
A career as a webcomic artist is about as guaranteed as making a career out of Youtube. But being a webcomic artist, period? You can do it. Anyone can do it. I'm still doing it in spite of everything. Like, I cannot even fully express to you just how much of what I do here is the culmination of a long list of failures. My art, my writing, the stuff I do here is built on the corpses of my failures. But those failures were still important, they had to happen to make me into the person and artist I am today. That person is STILL making mistakes, and that artist is STILL not rich LOL Failure is scary, but fear of failure is the true killer of joy and growth.
Do not tie the merit of being a webcomic artist to how much money you can (or can't) make out of it. Just like with starting a Youtube channel, you shouldn't go into it expecting money and fame right out the gate, but there are equal amounts of joy and experience you can gain by doing it. There's a reason people say you have to do it out of love and passion first because ultimately that's all you'll have to keep carrying you through if and when you fail to meet your goals. You don't have to be sure if you'll still want to do it a year from now or five years from now, none of that matters. If you want to do it now, then do it.
Make your 4-5 panel comics if that's what you enjoy doing. Make whatever tickles your fancy. Acknowledge your fears and doubts, thank them for their opinion, and do it anyways. "What if it ends up being a waste of time?" The time will pass anyways. Worst case, at least you'll be able to say you did it. That's better than never trying and regretting it in the end.
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Losing someone can be so beyond words. Here is some advice for losing a FP but it can probably be applied to losing someone in general!
Some things I like to remind myself are:
The feelings are temporary. They will pass. No matter how crushing they may be, you won't feel like this forever. Sometimes it can help to remember that what we're feeling is temporary because when we forget that and think it's how we're going to feel forever, it can make us feel so hopeless. So here's your reminder. This isn't forever.
You survived without them before, and you can do it again. I promise. It doesn't mean it'll be easy but it can help to have the reminder that we existed before then, and survived before them and we can do both of those things again.
Be kind to yourself. You are valid and you are allowed your emotions.
Healing is not linear. Grief isn't linear. And for a lot of us, when we lose our FP, it is something we need to heal from. It is something we grieve about. And it's okay if we feel ourselves doing better for a bit and then falling back. It doesn't mean you've failed or anything like that.
Some things I do:
Note that these are all personal things I do and aren't rules for how you should cope. I'm sure your own list will differ! But maybe my list will inspire you to think of ideas for your own list!
Focus on myself. Even when it's uncomfortable and I don't want to, I focus on my hobbies. I focus on finding new hobbies. Sometimes I make a list of different hobbies I've never tried, and then I go through it and try them at least once to see if I enjoy something. If not, it gets scratched off. These could be new shows, books, activities, etc.
Feel the emotions. Usually not all at once because it's too much, but my instinct is to bury the emotions. To turn my emotions off entirely ((I'm sure others relate to the turning them off thing. It's like a switch I can use). And it's uncomfortable, but sometimes I force myself to feel them. In bits as I can handle it. Allow yourself time to grieve.
Focus on my DBT skills like Urge Surfing for any urges that arise or Radical Acceptance for accepting my feelings.
Come up with a Crisis Plan in case I start to spiral. Here’s my walk through on that.
I diversified my relationships. I think this is an important thing to do. Even if you have a FP currently. Diversifying your relationships to have other people in your support system can be really good.
This is a personal choice, but I cut off all ties. I used to keep screenshots of messages they wrote assuring me they cared and stuff like that. I deleted all screenshots. I also made sure I couldn't look at their profiles and check on them. I made sure their numbers were deleted and anything else.
I like to do nice things for someone else. It's hard sometimes to get there, but there's a feeling I get when I make someone smile or help someone out that makes me feel a bit lighter. It reminds me that I am valuable as I am. This is actually a part of the ACCEPTS skill if you're interested in reading more about that.
Work on forgiving myself. Maybe you don't feel you need this, and that's valid. But I did. I had to learn to forgive myself for not knowing better, for making mistakes, and I always remind myself that I am human. In connection with this, I work on letting go of any regrets I have. It's easier said than done, I know. It's important for me to remember that I can't change the past, so dwelling on any regrets doesn't help me. What I can do is learn from them and do better.
I know it's hard. But it really does get better. I have lost FP's and thought the entire world was ending and that I would never recover. I still think about them sometimes, but it's such a dull ache that I barely notice it. It might always hurt a little, but it will be manageable.
Here are some other coping ideas.
You can do this.
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yardsards · 1 year
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tfw one of your fav fics got added to a private/unrevealed collection so you can't view it anymore and you forgot to download it so you might never get to reread it again :(((
#eliot posts#why would you do that instead of orphaning it or making it anonymous??????#ughhh i always forget to download fics#at least it was just privated and not deleted so it might come back?#part of me wonders if it was actually an accident cuz sometimes how collections like that work can be confusing to authors#and i don't see the logic as to why someone would do that on purpose?#i wish i could ask why to get my curiosity satiated at least even if they don't end up making the fic public again#but i can't do that without like. commenting about it on one of their other fics. in a completely different fandom#and i'm not gonna do that cuz i reckon it'd just make the author real uncomfortable and i don't wanna do that#but like. it is gnawing at me nonetheless.#it appears to have only been privated for a week or two (after being available for several months prior)#so like hope is still very much there of it coming back#i once had a fic get straightup Deleted for months and the author disappear without a trace only for it to get reuploaded out of the blue#but yeah. reminder to dowload your fav fics! ao3 is not as permanent as you may think#god the fic was just. SUCH a good take on going no contact with an abusive parent and it delighted me to read#actually. i know it's a longshot but if any of my followers fastidiously download fics#do any of you have a copy of a toh fic called ''out of the blue'' abt amity and her family?#i would give you my firstborn for it#which means nothing considering i am not having any biological children but you know
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pepprs · 8 months
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my anxiety is unbelievably fucking bad rn. i am so scared
#purrs#delete later#ask to tag#(​putting slashes thru things so that they don’t show up in search btw)#i have no right to be scared bc im not there. but im so scared for the people of ga/za. and i am so scared that… idk. it’s completely my#fault bc i go looking for these kinds of things on purpose to hurt myself. but i doomscrolled last night about ww/3 and the possibility of#nu/clear war being fueled by is/rael’s ‘war’ on pale/stine and not only am i sick with fear about the people living directly in that region#but i am so fucking scared of the possibility of nu/clear war. or like. any war breaking out in the us. which i know is a ridiculous self#centered thought to have but my anxiety is out of fucking control rn and it has been getting worse throughout the week. i just don’t know#how to wrap my head around the violence of this week. and so few je/wish ppl i know irl are antizi/onist and ppl just expect me to be#supportive of is/rael jsut bc im je/wish and it makes me fucking FURIOUS not only because i resent these horrors being committed to innocent#people in the name of my own people but it is so extremely dangerous to conflate j/udaism with zi/onism. the consequences diasporic je/ws#are goi ng to face are of course nowhere near as central or all-consumingly violent as the people in gaz/a and i feel personally safe enough#as someone who (and i know this is kind of a terrible thing to say) passes very easily as a go/y (esp w a mask on) and has a g/oy last name#but i am so fucking terrified of the antise/mitism getting worse here and have been exposing myself to evidence of it even though it is#extremely destructive to my mental health. but also i deeply resent the rhetoric around ‘reach out to your j/ewish friends they’re suffering#rn’ because…. we are not a monolith nor are we the direct victims in this situation and it just feels so uncomfortable and centering to make#it an issue of silence etc etc when… there are innocent ppl in g/aza who are experiencing terror no human being should ever have to endure#and most of them are children and they are the people who will ‘pay’ most directly and immediately and severely for what happened a week ago#i just feel so fucking on edge from this entire situation and unable to do anything to help when the destruction is imminent and this#nightmare of a country is at the core of so much suffering in this world and it will take centuries to undo it all and in the meantime so#many innocent people are going to die and maybe the entire world will be destroyed by nu/clear war which we are basically begging for at#this point. it’s so hard to function in my personal life when i am keenly aware of what could be happening at any moment#i don’t know how to end this post. im just fucking scared and there’s nothing i can do
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fantasticalleigh · 1 year
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I don’t mean for my gingerrose drawings to be harmful towards anyone. I like the dynamic of the AU and make art featuring this because it is fiction using fictional characters and it is definitely not something I would support in real life unless it’s between consenting partners. On that basis, I’m not going to delete it BUT I won’t be drawing for it again.
I don’t know if “begged” is a typo or not but these are the only messages I’ve received regarding this. Felt I had to include that since the past-tense of the word implies you’ve messaged me before. IDK if anyone tried expressing this concern through Twitter as well but I deactivated my Twitter in November.
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piplupod · 1 year
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"get out of ur comfort zone!" brother i ain't ever been in my comfort zone :/
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bitalis · 2 years
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like honestly stay away from arcane twt and tiktok unless you want to feel the need to burn the shit down every other week just don’t go there
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Hello I love your fanfics they are so interesting! Can I please have a fic for shinichiro Sano x reader who looks very intimidating but is actually very sweet and soft? Thank you I hope you have a nice day and remember to eat and drink!
(if you feel uncomfortable or do not want to do this fic feel free to delete! :3 )
Bad Is The New Soft {Shinichiro Sano}
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A/n: Honestly, hands down, you have been the kindest person to request from me, thank you sooooooo much.
Pairing: Shinichiro x gn!reader
Trigger Warnings: none
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Shinichiro had gotten used to it. The way your expression was completely blank whenever someone you didn't know was talking to you, or the way you naturally side-eyed people on the train, the way you stood, the way you walked... it even made Mikey scared when he first introduced you to him.
And Mikey was never scared.
Your stance had actually played a huge part on him not even daring to make a move at you and for fuck's sake he had been a gang leader. But Shinichiro had been scared, his hands were trembling and not because he was standing in front of the most beautiful person he had ever seen or because he had been rejected 20 times.
He could remember that day very very clearly. You had somehow agreed to go out with him even though he hardly knew you and you had been looking at him with a dead stare while he talked.
But then you stepped on him while the two of you were walking. "Oh my, I am so sorry." His eyes widened as the tone of your voice changed in a matter of seconds. He just looked at you almost confused.
"It's okay." He stuttered, trying to fight his heart beating faster and faster.
"Are you sure?"
That was just the beginning. Soon enough, Shinichiro figured out that you weren't actually intimidating but it was just a matter of time until you actually got to know someone. And you were so sweet and soft and so so gentle his weak heart could barely take it.
After the two of you got together, he could barely keep his hands off you. He just wanted to protect you, full heartedly believing that you were the most precious person on this earth -somehow Mikey was also convinced and one random Friday you got yourself two bodyguards.
But when the two of you were out, or when he wasn't talking to you? Your face was just blank, technically a resting bitch face. Grandpa Sano was intimidated at first which came as a shock to the Sano siblings.
The only person that immediately got to you was Emma. It was something that made Shinichiro and Mikey really jealous.
"Hello." Your voice was as soft as velvet when you talked to her for the first time. It was just odd, the young girl had immediately broken whatever walls you had around you with just a smile and a ponytail that leaned more towards on the left because Shinichiro was still strugging with doing her hair.
Shinichiro adapted to your behaviour pretty quickly. In fact, he was really smug about it, bragging to Akashi, Benkei and Wakasa that you hate everyone but him.
Of course his two friends never believed him because two days later, you were laughing with them as if you had known them forever.
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caelivir · 1 year
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rayne ames relationship hcs (part ii)
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— WARNING: creepy behavior from a guy but that’s it
— author’s note. i feel like the author’s note from when i posted this doesn’t apply anymore, but anyway, this is part two but isn’t actually because i lost the first part when i accidentally deleted my account… again im so sorry. ALSO!! the writing is a little different bc i’m cringing rereading my old stuff. (how did u guys let that slide)
— HUGE HUGE HUGE THANK YOU TO @mikadzukis FOR SAVING MY OLD HCS I AM INDEBTED TO U!!!!
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rayne ames loves dates with you. he loves them.
but he especially loves picnic dates
you introduced him to the idea on one of his days off
you promised it wasn’t going to be draining because you knew being a visionary is a taxing job
so he agreed
and he loved it
spread across the red and white checkered picnic blanket are plates of grapes, cheese, and sandwiches. two goblets of iced tea rest on top of a wooden board so they can remain balanced.
rayne’s large hands support his weight as he leans back onto the blanket. the half-blonde cranes his neck to stare up at the leaves. rays of sunlight peek through slivers of space between them. a butterfly flutters its wings above him.
“rayne!” you call for his attention.
your lover hums as a reply before directing his eyes toward you, offering his full attention.
“i made something for you.” you speak, grabbing for another basket on the blanket. you lift up the cover, reaching carefully inside it. you pull out a cake platter and set aside the lid that protected the dessert residing on it.
“it’s a cake!” you continue with a smile. “this is the first time you’ve been off in a while so i thought i could make a cake to celebrate! i even decorated it with some bunnies!”
a small grin grows on the visionary’s face. he pushes himself up. rayne takes the platter out of your hand and gently places it on a free board on the blanket. you’re caught in surprise as his arms wrap themselves around your waist. his head finds warmth in the crook of your neck.
“thank you.” he whispers.
rayne’s protective of you
he knows you’re capable of fighting your own battles, but there are certain situations where he just had to take care of it
if someone’s saying things about you or harassing you, he isn’t going to tolerate that
the entirety of easton knows not to mess with you, because messing with you means messing with rayne, and no one wants to put themselves through that
he’s already scary enough as is so all it takes is a couple of threats for the person to leave cowering in fear
you wait outside of the café as rayne uses the restroom. people of all ages each other as they navigate their ways theough marchétte street. one of them approaches you, but it’s not rayne.
“so what’s a fine thing like you doing alone here in the street.” a guy smirks, trailing his eyes up and down your body. you shift uncomfortably. he’s definitely a few years older than you and inches taller than rayne. a single line cuts through his right cheek, indicating his level of magic.
you swallow down an anxious gulp before speaking. “i’m with my boyfriend.”
“tell me gorgeous,” the man’s hand travels down the path of your jaw. you’re disgusted by his touch. “does your boyfriend like to share?”
“i really think you should go.” you respond firmly, shoving the grimy hand away from your face.
the guy chuckles, raising his hands in defense. “no need to get aggressive, sweetheart! i just want to know!”
“and who the hell are you?” a familiar deep voice says from behind you. you turn around to discover rayne, and your eyes light up at his appearance. you’re well acquainted with the detachment and chilling coldness of rayne’s gaze, but now, there’s a fire behind them.
rage.
he’s pissed.
recognition becomes evident in the man’s face, and it dawns on him that he just messed with a divine visionary’s lover, but before he can retreat, rayne steps in front of you. he yanks your harasser down to your level. you don’t know what the half-blonde says, but it’s clear that it sparks fear into the features of the other man. once rayne’s finishes with him, he apologizes profusely before running away in the opposite direction.
the anger behind rayne’s eyes fade; they soften when he finds your gaze. “are you okay.”
you grin. “yeah, now that you’re here.”
rayne lets you wear his robes
whenever you hang out in his dorm, your first instinct is to go through his closet and take them
when you first did it, he was going to protest
but you looked so cute i. them that he decided to let it slide
you especially like wearing them when you nap
though you wearing his robes does pose some problems for him from time to time
“you’re late,” orter points out from his seat at the table. his fingers slide the frame of his glasses up his nose. “and where’s your visionary robe?”
rayne strolls past the desert came, not bothering to answer for his actions. he didn’t want to admit—especially to orter of all people—the reason behind his missing robe.
this morning, just as he was almost ready to leave for the divine visionary meeting, rayne realized that he was missing his robe. the half-blonde searched ever crevice of his dorm but to no avail. rayne sighed, reaching the conclusion that you accidentally took it.
yesterday, he had to run a quick errand while you were napping. upon his return, rayne discovered that you had left. you scribbled a message on a notepad, explaining that you didn’t want to keep intruding. you were probably too tired to realize that you had his war robe in your possession.
rayne could waste any more time making a trip to your dorm. it was a bit of a distance from his. the best decision at the moment was to let you have it and attend the meeting without it.
that is how he ended up in this situation, late and stuck sitting next to ryoh.
“y/n has your robe, don’t they?” ryoh teases in a whisper. for some reason, ryoh had discovered rayne’s relationship with you. whenever the two visionaries crossed paths, his senior never fails to mention you.
the sword cane doesn’t respond. “that’s a yes, isn’t it?” ryoh continues with a shit-eating grin. he pokes the arm of the boy next to him
rayne inhales. gods, he was not going to hear the end of this.
whenever you and rayne are apart due to his job as divine visionary, you communicate through letters sent by owls
he talks about the places he’s at and shit talks the people he doesn’t like
you tell him about you classes and how things are back at the academy, especially things going on within the adler dorm
and you occasionally give him updates on finn because you know deep down rayne cares about him
an owl lands on the sill of the open window of rayne’s temporary room. the animal clamps down on an browned envelope placed in its beak. rayne approaches the bird, and it drops the letter into his hands before flying off.
the mattress of the bend sinks under rayne’s weight when he sits on it. he unfolds the piece of parchment in his hands unsealing the envelope. his eyes scan down the letter that reads:
dear rayne,
how’s your trip? i hope nothing’s gone bad. things back at easton have been the same as usual, but it’s not that fun without you here.
classes are boring, but that’s nothing new. i might rip my brain out. i’ve been baking to try and cope. by the way, when you get back, you have to try this cheese tart i made. i had your brother and a friend of his try them. they seemed to like it a lot. i don’t know the name of the kid yet, but he wants me to make cream puffs next time. he says they’re a lot better than cheese tarts so you’ll have to try those too.
speaking of finn, he’s doing extremely well. he’s making lots of friends which is really nice to see. he always seems nervous to talk to me though. am i intimidating or something. i don’t think i am. unless you’ve been saying some things about me then i think we’re gonna have a problem…
gods, i miss you so much. come back soon. i’ll be waiting for you always. take care of yourself and don’t stress too much. i love you.
- y/n
p.s. please get me a souvenir. thank you! i love you, again.
rayne stands up, finding a sheet of paper and a quill. he pulls out a chair by a table. a slight smile flashes on the visionary’s face as he writes back to you—his home.
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apollos-olives · 6 months
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hello! If this question is too personal, please feel free to ignore. I’m writing an informative essay on the Palestinian experience under occupation (college English final) and I just wanted to ask this.
As children in Palestine (or outside of Palestine, but born to Palestinian parents), are you raised with the knowledge of the hatred and disdain of the Israelis towards the Palestinians or would you say that Palestinian parents “shelter” (for lack of a better word that I can think of) or attempt to “shelter” their children from the pain of the Israeli’s hatred? I would assume that protecting the emotions and minds of the children would be somewhat impossible to do, but I would appreciate if you could provide some insight into this and also how children deal with the mental toll of being under occupation or knowing that their people are not free. My apologies if this is question is insensitive, please feel free to ignore and delete this if you feel uncomfortable. Thank you!
we, as palestinians, are raised with the complete knowledge that zionists hate us. there is no "hiding" that fact. when you live under an occupation, you know it. you feel the effects of it. you see it every day. one of the very first things i've been raised to learn is that i am a person who majority of the world hates. and you genuinely cannot hide that. even though we were, and are, children, we have to face the truth immediately. we are an oppressed people. our parents do not hide this from us. it would be cruel if they did. we deserve to know that there is a better life for us than this, and we deserve to know what is happening against us. you cannot hide the effects of oppression and occupation. we will learn about it whether someone tells us or not.
because of this, palestinians raise their children to be extremely educated. palestinians are some of the most highly educated people in the world. we become educated when we're young and continue to become more and more educated as we grow because that is what we believe will set us free. the newer generations must have knowledge to fight back. the children are the future, as we all know. the sooner we are educated, the sooner we can start fighting back against oppression. that is why we urge other people to become educated, so they can help us fight against oppression as well. oppression cannot be hidden from us. we must learn to notice it wherever we go, in order to end it. that is why palestinians do not hide away their children. of course, we love our children and we try to ease the pain for them as much as possible, but the pain is our real life. our suffering is part of our fight, our identity. and we are fighting for a day where our suffering will never have to be permanent part of our identity again. we want to protect our children, but we cannot protect them against a world that wants them dead. we cannot do it alone, so we need people to step up and stand with us, in order to raise our children without them having to know the suffering we've endured.
being a child living under the occupation is difficult. you make friends one year, you lose them the next year. you finally manage to get out of palestine, and suddenly you're never allowed to go back in. you see posters on the wall of every city, full of faces of the people who were martyred by the hands of the oppressors and you pray to god that your face isn't going to be on there next. you are constantly surrounded by death and suffering. palestine is beautiful. our culture is beautiful. we constantly try to appreciate our beauty. but we cannot just do that without also facing the reality. we are an oppressed people. we know this. we see this. we feel this.
being a child living in the diaspora is also difficult. seeing how everyone around you can go on with their day, all smiles and laughs, not knowing your family in palestine were just killed the other day. seeing the media twist the narrative and make up lies about you and your people. being wary of everyone around you because you're not sure if they're a zionist or not so you have to hide your identity and who you are. watching as your people are massacred on tv while you're sitting there in your living room from a continent away, shaking with fear because "what if that was me?"
we know zionists hate us. this is the first thing we learn. we cannot hide our children from this truth, because that would only harm them more than it would protect them.
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pepprs · 9 months
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ok two things. #1 i am IMPOSSIBLY exhausted. just took a nap for a couple hours and have been awake for a bit but i feel like ivr been whacked like a punching bag like good god. and #2 is gonna have to make me delete this post later bc i feel weird and bad and paranoid abt saying it lol but. it’s just fucking weird and bad kinda bc im literally 2 years older than / removed from the students who work closest with us rn (who i spent most of today tabling w) and it’s so awkward bc we’re at the same-ish life stages and ik we totally would’ve been friends if we’d gone thru the same programs together as students but they ignore me / don’t and can’t talk to me like we’re friends bc im a staff member and my attempts to talk to them are lame and weird so idk. it’s just a lot and stressful and sobering
#purrs#aldo one of the interns who will be working w us this year just found a living situation that is like… EXACTLY the kind of thing i think i#would want and she was telling me all abt decorating her apartment and getting / buying stuff for her cat and having all this freedom and…#RRAUGHHHH im so proud of her and happy for her bc her situation was rly hard before this and she told me all abt it and it’s exactly what#she needed and deserves but it’s just so WEIRD bc i need the exact same thing and still live w my parents and share a room and can’t drive a#and am literally like… ‘in competiton’ w students im working w for resources and also im about to be a grad student and idk how to act#arojnd undergrads or if i get to / should sympathize with them or like talk abt anything bc im also a staff member and a semi-supervisor of#theirs and i know things they don’t and have power over them and it’s like. aughhhh it’s just bad. i feel really horrible saying this but i#just need time to pass. i need to not be going thru the same life milestones undergrads are going thru. i need to be 3-4 yrs in the future w#where no one ever knew me as a student (a couple of them did just as a senior when they were freshmen etc!). so that it’s not weird anymore#and there are no blurry lines that make us confused abt how to interact w each other or make me feel so fucking bad abt myself lol#<- which i literally shouldn’t like i have no reason to and it’s ridiculous and childish to. but idk. imjust depressed and exhausted i think#delete later#also for the second semester ina row im about to be an instructor of a class with someone i literally… took a class with as a student in the#class 💀💀💀💀💀 like she and i were classmates in spring 2021 and my co-instructors were O UR instructors and nowi am also an instructor. and#its just so fucking bizarre and uncomfortable aughhhhh#i just feel very lonely abt all of it. and im isolating myself again which isn’t helping esp bc the guilt has been gnawing at me hard lately#not to say this but it’s even weird on here. like a lot of you guys are in college rn and… i work for one. and it doesn’t matter but also it#just feels weird and i feel weird abt complaining abt the semester or being like yeah the semester is so hard haha fellow kids. which im not#bc it legitimately is hard for staff too it’s just… a lot. idk. idk how to explain it
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vickyzangels · 1 year
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% “..but i kinda hope they catch us, anyway.”
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# synopsis ; an anon asked for sfw and nsfw headcanons for tom but i accidentally deleted the ask while trying to fight for my life against tumblr because every time i added a border two other pictures would disappear tumblr i hope you fall down the stairs
# pairing ; tom kaulitz x reader
# word count ; 551
# tags ; nsfw further under “keep reading” (mdni)
a/n ; i’m gonna drop this first but i have a nearly finished smut oneshot literally sitting in docs rn if i get decent enough feedback on this i’ll drop it
sfw
y’all remember that interview where he said he’d “fall in love for only a night but that he’d be down for true love later”? yeah unfortunately that applied to you, too
this can go one of two ways, you work close to the band as staff or you were a fan at one of their concerts that for some reason has to keep coming back and tom took a visual liking to you
what goes down between you two after he first notices you is vague but tom keeps seeing you every time you’re around and you started weaseling your way into his head at every hour of the day
he’d never admit that though (yet), so he’s still gonna keep up his playboy act for a bit but you’re gonna pick up that he’s being closer to you like making small jokes with you and being a little nicer
god it took you so long but he finally let you squeeze through his shell enough to be relatively close friends for a while but this definitely became a “do i wanna know if this feeling flows both ways” situation
yes the feeling did flow both ways, too bad he was still a player and you didn’t wanna ruin anything so you just endlessly flirted with each other
i am 92% sure he came to you first at an afterparty absolutely wasted and told you in german “du bist so unglaublich schön und ich will dich so sehr.” you are so infuriatingly beautiful and i want you so bad.
unfortunately, bill had to translate for you
i’ve been talking a lot so i’ll try to sum up a relationship with him and add miscellaneous points
he makes an effort to act like a boyfriend in your relationship, like he doesn’t openly flirt with other people out of genuine respect for you
first date was something like you two staying over at one of your houses for the night like a sleepover or doing something in the city
he has never forgotten any important day for you. never. and on that topic, he’ll get gifts for those days nearly months in advance
he appreciates a person with aesthetic
i’m lying, tom would fall head over heels in love if you wear something even remotely close to his style
nsfw
tom is a dog, y’all have seen the way he talks about what he wants to do during sex but he’s the most respectful person someone could probably ever ask for, someone who wouldn’t hesitate to pause everything if you told him you felt a little uncomfortable
the type of guy to fake bang you from behind when you bend over to grab something.
he’d spit in your mouth, having you kneel in front of him and holding your jaw open by squeezing it then making you swallow it if you wanted to be touched at all
this almost isn’t a headcanon but he’s a tit guy, regardless of size he’d froth at the mouth just to hold them
there’s not a big dom/sub thing between you two but he’s a switch because i said so
y’all… his favorite position is doggy or prone bone doesn’t matter as long as he gets to pull you by your neck up to him
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a/n ; wow. didn’t think i could write something like this but i have a lot more so lmk if i should make a part 2?
© ALL RIGHTS BELONG TO VICKYZANGELS. do not steal, repost, plagiarize, or use my work for anything.
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greg-montgomery · 9 months
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hiii first of all let me say i am ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE with your blog and that everything you post is amazing <333
.....and since your requests are open, let me give you the receipt to kill me 😈 (or to make my day, it depends)
so that would be a scenario involving hotch x reader + reader ovulating (or in the days before cycle when the hormones are all 🥴🦋🥰🤭🤤) + him being condescending in bed
my brain is fixated on this and I was waiting to request this to someone
⚠️ i am a consent-queen anon and i invite you to write this only if you can/feel like it/have the time to. If not, delete the ask bc i don't wanna make you uncomfortable, you're so sweet in your interactions <3
hiiii <3 you're so sweet!!! i'm super late to this, but i hope you're still around and get to read this and enjoy it <33 ilysm!
minors dni - 18+
♡ ♡ ♡ ♡
Those damn profilers….and you had to be the one to be dating one of the best of them. It was impossible to hide from Aaron.
It wasn’t common for you, wanting to hide things from him. He was the one who you trusted more than anyone else in your life. But sometimes, you felt…embarrassed of things.
Like that evening, you wanted to have sex with Aaron, but didn’t want to be the one who initiated it again. You were the one who was all over him the night before and that morning. It felt almost humiliating having to ask for sex again.
But you weren’t at fault. Aaron had just come home from work and he was so tired, he didn’t follow his usual routine of taking his suit off and running into the shower. That was the reason you felt guilty for wanting to disturb his resting time. But that was also the reason you wanted him so bad; his suit, his untied tie, the sweat on his forehead. And maybe also the fact that your little period calendar app had reminded you yesterday that you were ovulating.
Still, no matter how much you were trying to conceal your sudden and very much desperate desire for your boyfriend, he was clearly onto you.
“Why are you staring at me, honey?” he asked, not bothering to lift his head to look at you. His eyes were glued on the screen of his phone, going through his emails.
“Just missed you, that’s all.”
“I missed you too, baby.” His deep voice calling you ‘baby’ only worsened your problem. Maybe you just had to get some alone time and take care of it.
“Um…I’m gonna go take a shower, okay?” you said.
“Now?”
“Yeah. Did you wanna go first?”
He finally lifted his gaze from his phone and looked at you with a smirk. “Are you really that desperate?”
“What?”
Aaron threw his phone on the cushion next to him and spread his legs wider. “On my lap.”
As if you were under a spell, you got up without even thinking it, walked towards the couch, and straddled Aaron’s lap.
You were so turned on that even that light touch of your body meeting his sent sparkles to your clit.
His large hands went straight to your exposed thighs, rubbing them up and down.
“My princess,” he said leaving a small kiss on your lips. “Haven’t I told you that I want you to always ask me for what you need?”
“I don’t…”
“Don’t lie to me. I can tell you’re struggling,” he said with a soft laugh. And with a tone that suggested that you were pathetic he added, “You’re horny, aren’t you?”
“Aaron,” you whined, and hit him playfully on the arm.
“Aren’t you?” he repeated.
You were too embarrassed to reply with words so you just nodded your head.
“See? I can always tell what’s going on in that pretty head of yours,” he said, his hand cupping the side of your face, “so you may as well just ask for what you want. It’ll save us both time.”
“You’re being mean,” you said.
“Am I still going to be mean if I get you off?”
Embarrassed or not, his words made your eyes sparkle.
“That’s what I thought. Now take off your clothes,” he ordered.
As you were getting undressed, Aaron unzipped his pants and took his cock out. When you got to the part of taking off your underwear he started stroking himself slowly, not taking his eyes off you for a moment.
You were almost drooling watching him still all dressed up touching himself, and the ache between your legs was getting unbearable.
“Come back here,” he said, once you were fully nude.
His thumb started touching your clit, circling it in a slow pace that made your knees already tremble. “Aaron…”
“Do you like it?”
“Mhm…” you said biting your lip.
“You can be louder, sweetheart. No one’s home but us,” he said and slipped his middle finger in you.
“Ah…”
Aaron’s fingers were thick, and could make you see stars. But at the moment, nothing but his cock could really satisfy you.
“I want you to fuck me. Please, Aaron, I can’t…”
“Okay,” he said, leaning in slightly to leave an open mouthed kiss to one of your nipples. “Okay. I’ve got you.”
He kissed the spot between your breasts and looked up at you with a smile. “You really need me, don’t you baby?”
“So bad,” you admitted.
With that, he pulled you down by your hips, and you took his hard dick in your hand, guiding it into your hole.
“My God,” you moaned at the feeling of him finally filling you up. “Aaron…”
He threw his head back and swallowed harshly at the feeling of your pussy around him. “Ah baby…”
Aaron’s dick was big just like everything else about him, which was exactly what you needed; feeling him deep inside you, hitting every spot that made your thoughts blurry and left you thinking only his name.
Your movements were desperate, riding him and taking him all in like you needed. His hands were on your ass, not to guide you but more for his enjoyment.
You wrapped your hands around his neck and kissed him deeply, wanting to devour every drop of this man’s body. “You feel so good inside me,” you moaned against his mouth.
“You like it, baby?”
“I love it.”
You pulled away just enough for him to move his hands and cup your tits, massaging them as you rocked your hips against his.
“You always take it so well. If only you could see how desperate you look, baby. Just a dumb girl who’s always thinking about my cock, aren’t you?”
“Yes, Aaron. Yes,” you moaned, and the built up in your lower belly got bigger and bigger.
Aaron started rubbing your clit, faster than he did at the beginning, watching your movements getting more and more clumsy as you were getting closer towards your release.
“I’m gonna cum,” you whined.
“That’s my good girl. Come on, baby. That’s my girl.”
Aaron’s encouraging words, his finger on your clit, and his dick buried in your pussy had you clenching around him and moaning his name. “Fuck.”
“Kneel for me. I wanna cum on your face,” he moaned.
Still feeling numb between your legs, you got on your knees in front of him and watched him as he stroked himself. Soon he painted you with his cum, and you enjoyed the feeling of the warm liquid on your skin. It made you feel his.
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chloeangelic · 5 months
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addressing the drama (with receipts)
I wanted to have my ducks in a row before speaking out instead of just responding; I’m not doing this to change anyone’s opinions - it’s really not possible change someone’s perception of me even if it’s based on falsehoods - but I need to do this so I know I’ve said and shown what needs to be shown, and people can do with it what they please. 
To the readers and writers who have blocked me, unfollowed me, and mutuals who have stopped talking to me over this - I’m really, really sad you didn’t come to me first and give me the opportunity to explain what was going on. I understand if you wanted to distance yourself from drama but I also need you to understand that this was not discourse-drama I willingly got myself into. This was a month of frequent harassment and slander that eventually turned into bullying by a group of people using false info, hiding behind side blogs and anons, and I hoped it would blow over but it never seemed to stop. With anons turned off for most of the last two months, people have gone to my friends’ inboxes instead to harass them about me (and insult them in the process), and I can’t do this anymore.
I feel so alienated and disliked in this community that I can’t go on the dash without feeling like I shouldn’t interact with anyone out of fear that they’ll get uncomfortable seeing me in their notifs. People keep saying they want the community to get better and then they jump on the bandwagon of vague posting and RBing without taking a second to verify the claims, clearly not realizing how much hurt it causes to perpetuate it. If you’re reading this, I  hope your name isn't the next one they pull out of the hat when they want someone new to push off the platform. 
Explanations, timelines and receipts below. 
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For anyone waiting for an explanation regarding the posts and anons about me that have circulated for weeks, or waiting for receipts proving or disproving that I’m a mean girl who spends my time talking shit, here you go. I am so beyond hurt, I don’t even know what to say. I’m floored, I’m so disappointed in this community and I’m so sad. In the last two weeks, I stayed up until 4am one night receiving screenshots of posts and anons about me, I cried, I tried to understand why this has happened to me, and I have sat here day after day with no answers. 
If you think I’m being melodramatic, try losing a quarter of your mutuals and having a bunch of people block you when you’ve had either no interaction with them or they’ve all been positive, and see how that feels, on top of constant rumors about you being a terrible person when you know you’ve barely had any negative interactions with anyone on the platform. I can’t be on tumblr any longer without exonerating myself and putting it out there that all of this has been one gigantic mess based on lies about me, seemingly compounded by grievances people have against Gracie (some one whose personal conversations have nothing to do with me). Either I do this, or I log out forever and only post on ao3, cause I feel like the fucking grim reaper here. Posts about me being an awful person are still circulating, despite the original post being deleted and the follow up stating that the OP has talked to me and they have apologized.
I’m not naming names in this. I will be using person A/B/C/D to make it less confusing. I’ve removed identifying information from the screenshots because even though I’m hurt by these people, I know that they will get dogpiled and harassed if I identify them, and I want it all to stop. Several have apologized to me and I have accepted. 
Sometime in December, rumors started circulating that there was a “big/elite writers discord” where they talked shit about small writers (I’m not in any discords specifically for writers and I have never heard of such a server). At about the same time, person A - someone who was very active in my own, now-deleted discord server, started frequently vagueposting about me, calling me a mean girl and, intentionally or not, made it seem like I was part of this “elite group of writers”. This is someone who I have never had a negative interaction with and who seemingly out of nowhere decided that I call myself elite and I’m a terrible person. 
Person B had some grievances with myself, Iris, and Gracie it seemed, so they went to person C and accused us of talking shit in our voice chats. I assume person A and B have talked about me at some point and validated each other’s claims, but I can't know that for sure. Person B messaged me from a burner account and apologized, then seemingly deleted the account after I responded.
Gracie frequently posted about us three chatting, and although I understand this might have felt alienating to some, many writers are open about having group chats with each other. All we did was write, edit, and Gracie sometimes made memes. We talked about non-fic stuff often, and when Gracie had an issue with other writers and she was upset, we talked about it. That’s what friends do. She knows that I believe those situations were handled poorly. One of those situations came to light recently - I had a very pleasant conversation with the writer involved, and we are still in touch.
I have spoken to person C, who posted the most “popular” smear post about me and some of my friends. They retracted their statements and profusely apologized to us, admitting it was based on stuff they heard from person B, showing me screenshots of the conversation. However, their original posts are still circulating through reblogs despite being deleted from their account. 
Person D also posted about me and my friends, however their post was sort of ridiculous, accusing me of spending more time replying to anons than writing. I found this funny, but the way they slut shamed my friend was absolutely not humorous, and dragging a random writer in to criticize them was a strange attempt at adding fuel to the fire. 
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And for the receipts, 
I blocked person A after seeing a handful of vague posts clearly about me, and after they interacted with every single rude anon posted about me that I saw. I think that’s reasonable, no? I’m not gonna post screenshots of their posts cause I honestly just don’t want to look at them again, they make me feel kind of sick if I'm honest, but if anyone doesn’t believe me, they are welcome to DM me and I will send. 
Person B messaged me, admitted to partaking in this mess, and apologized. This is part of a LONG message:
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Person C apologized over message and called me on discord. We had a conversation clearing things up, they deleted their posts and wrote a public apology. 
If you need any proof that person B’s claims were, in fact, baseless, look at this exchange between person B and person C after person C had cleared things up with me.
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Person D honestly just creeps me out, cause what the fuck is this? Fine if you don’t like me based on my writing or my persona on here but… Why the witch hunt? 
ETA: Person C asked person D to take down their post and they never responded. This was sent prior to that, I know the full context, I just thought this specific part was worth sharing to show how vile some people allow themselves to be behind burner accounts.
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What kind of behavior is this? This was from a sideblog, and I don't know what their main account is. It creeps me the fuck out knowing this person is lurking somewhere in the community.
I have hated every moment of this. None of this has been fun for me. This has completely fucked up my motivation to write and my enjoyment of it, it has made me anxious, it has messed with my self esteem, and it has made me want to log out of Tumblr and not come back. 
Please, I beg, if you have an issue with me, just come to me and I promise I will have a conversation with you. You can’t tell people’s tone over anon and I don’t think that’s a good way to have a conversation, especially one about something that should be solved in private, so they remain off, but my DM’s are open. 
I'm so sick of seeing vagueposts and trying to decipher if they're about me. Having to do that a bunch of times messes with your head.
I'm not sure what to do moving forward, but I needed to say my piece. I don't want to talk about this again, I want to put this behind me. I seriously hope this doesn't wreck my last remaining want to share my writing on here.
Thanks again to everywhere who has supported me in my DMs and comments, you mean the world to me 🤍🤍🤍 And if you found yourself duped by all this but change your opinion on me now or eventually, I won't hold a grudge, and I'm happy to speak again and pick up where we left off.
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that-siege · 3 months
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Dear younger a-spec folks,
I'm not ancient by any means, but I do see a lot of teens and twenty-somethings on here posting about being a-spec and not being sure they should have posted it. Or saying they'll probably delete it in the morning.
And I just want to say, as someone in their mid-thirties who had very little support in all of this, and finally feels comfortable for the first time in their life embracing being aroace - you give me so much life and hope.
When I was a kid, platforms like this were not a thing.
So when I had one now ex-friend literally tell me that I made him feel uncomfortable because "a lack of attraction is inhuman," I felt inhuman.
Or when my mother constantly prodded at me about relationships and sex, or called me a prude, I saw that as a failing on my part.
Or when my friends thought it was hilarious when I was obviously uncomfortable as they described things I did not want to think about, I thought they were in the right, I figured I must just be humorless.
Or when people suggested my lack of engagement with the concept of love made me a psychopath, I thought that must be true too.
I had no one who understood how I felt so I assumed I must be wrong, and I tried so hard to fit in and say the right things, and date and be in relationships that were all inevitably doomed to fail.
I spent too much of my life thinking I was some sort of monster.
And looking at all your posts now, I really wish that very lonely girl and eventually very lonely young woman had had access to all of your incredible posts about being a-spec.
So in conclusion, when you post and aren't sure you should speak up, please keep speaking up. There is nothing wrong with us, and I am so thankful every time your posts come across my dash.
They mean the world to me.
And you never know if your post is going to be the one that makes someone realize that they get to be human too.
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teddybeartoji · 25 days
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(If you are uncomfortable with period mentions plz feel free to delete this 🙈)
Thoughts on snow leopard!gojo when you on your period (I am pmsing and I need someone to comfort me.)
snow leopard!gojo would be sooo worried about you!! One minute you are fine and now you have the smell of blood is on youuu!!! Poor baby think you are hurt or injured and even when you reassure him it’s just your period he’s still worried especially when you show other symptoms (like throwing, headaches, being sensitive and crying)
He would sooo overprotective and clingy he would never let you outside alone always have to be by your side holding or wrapping his tail around you.
He would love to take care of you!! He would massage your shoulders or knead your tummy, also when they are injured cats lick their wounds so I do see him going down on you if you let him it also helps with cramps.
He loves to cuddle you he lie on top of you and he’s so big and warm and fluffy And when you sleep he would be right next to you extra alert and “on the look out” if anyone tries to hurt you.
He holds you soo tight tail wrapped around your thigh making sure you are safe and protected.
(I’m sorry that this so long I got carried away 🙈😭)
NONNIEEEE🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺HE WOULD BE SOOOOOSO WORRIED🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 he just wants to make you feel better, make you feel good!!!!!!! he's gonna sit with you the whole entire time, he just refuses to leave your side. he's literally sitting with you in the bathroom, he's cuddling with you (and on top of you bc he's so warm and it feels so good when he rests his head on your tummy). and the tail!!!!!! yess!!!! he always has it around your thighs bc he loves your thighs!!!!!!!! also he follows you around like a little lovesick kitty and he literally just looks like this emoji🥺🥺🥺🥺 the entire time. he's baby.
now now now....... the licking the wounds thing.... nonnie... you really did something here🥴🥴🥴🥴 that's exactly how he's gonna convince you too btw. he's gonna tell you about how it's his way of healing you. and it works like magic!!!!!! he does it slowly, he wants you to forget all about the pain so he's extra focused. he's kissing your folds just like he'd kiss you, he's giving her smooches and small kitten licks while keeping his eyes on you. he's gently pawing at your thighs and your waist, he's kneading your skin and it's all just so good. he can smell your arousal mixing with the blood and he's getting dizzy himself, too.
he can't take his eyes off of you, he needs to make sure that you're enjoying it, that you're feeling good!!!!! he fucking purrs as he eats you out and the vibrations feel heavenly. he has your back arching in no time, your hands tug on his white roots and his own eyes are rolling back into his head.
also. despite the fact that he's going slow, he's still a messy eater!!!!! so sometimes... he gets a little blood in his perfectly white hair but he literally couldn't care any less. (he loves it. he thinks of it as your way of marking him. no matter whether it's intentional or not.)
after you cum in his mouth and he has swallowed every drop of you, he draws you a hot bath and he carries you into the bathroom himself. his entire lower half of his face is covered in blood, it's dripping from his chin but you're still his main priority. you try to tease him for it but you're just too tired, so you just end up brushing against his skin, dirtying yourself with your own blood.
he takes your finger in his hand and raises it to his mouth. he licks you clean while keeping eye-contact, and takes it back out with a loud pop. he's sure he can smell another fresh wave of pure arousal pooling between your legs but he doesn't want to push you or your body too far. so he presses a very gentle kiss to your nose before helping you into the tub.
he climbs in with you and he washes your hair. he washes your body with the sweetest motions, he rubs your shoulders and your tummy, your thighs and your sides. he leaves kisses on your jaw and neck. he whispers praise and pure love into your ears and he loves to feel you melting into him.
after you've gained some of your energy back, you help clean him up too. you wipe the blood from his marble skin anf then from his hair and he just stares at you with hearts in his eyes<3333333 wahhh nonnie he's the best boyfriend in the world he's so caring and so sweet:((((((( i luv him:((((
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