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whitherliliesbloom · 3 years

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You follow the scent trail of sweet flowers...until you bump into a mysterious bijou girl with starspun hair and lustrous lavender eyes. Mysterious girl far from home: “O-oh- I’m sorry... The way you’re looking at me as if you want to d-duel... W-well, i-if you in-insist..”

@windupnamazu‘s Pokemon!AU Illya headcanons under the cut! It’s very long, so hang tight! Note the headcanons may be subject to change or updates in the future ;w; Drawings and designs of Illya’s outfits by @rosepinkwol.

Illya’s personality is about similar with her ffxiv canon verse. Shy, reserved, very sweet and gentle. But she’s considerably more cheerful in her pokemon au form and less emotionally volatile / depressed. She still does have some lingering emotional and mental health issues though, which will be covered later.

She became a pokemon trainer primarily to explore the world and meet more pokemon. Dueling and beating others isn’t a real priority for her, though she still does it to earn money.

While Illya bets pokemon dollars in normal battles with trainers she is unfamiliar with or in official tournaments, she doesn’t like gambling real money when battling with friends. Instead, she’d often suggest that the loser has to treat the winner to a meal.

Extremely good cook. You’ll never go hungry or be unsatisfied in the tummy if you go camping with her. Just don’t mention that you like spicy foods or she’ll almost always assume that you’d be able to handle the same level of spice as she does (pro-tip: you probably can’t).

She smells like the most gorgeous mix of flowers - no thanks to her Comfey often playing with her hair and wrapping flowers around her.

She takes pokemon welfare very seriously due to her upbringing and background. She thus has a habit of releasing pokemon she captured that she feels would either be happier out in the wild or are showing signs of stress in her care. That seldom happens though, due to how loving and caring she is towards all her pokemon - most of them end up becoming very attached and even protective of her.

In the same way, she never forces a pokemon to battle, evolve or do anything they don’t want to, even if they are strong.

Illya knows a lot about pokemon care and the likes / dislikes / proper way to take care of different types of pokemon. Thus, she makes friends with pokemon a lot easier than she does humans.

The very definition of ‘gotta catch em all!’..... but only if the pokemon wants to be with her. She loves all pokemon, regardless of her personal tastes and will treat any pokemon she comes across with respect and care as long as they mean no harm to her.

Knows basic first aid for both humans and pokemon. And much like in canon, her pain tolerance is incredibly high.

She’s very particular about money. Short-change her, and she’ll be very very cross. After all, less money means less treats she can buy for her pokemon.

In general, she’s dainty and graceful... however she is a tad more clumsy in her pokemon au form compared to canon.

Illya is the definition of gap moe: her sweet, cute and angelic demeanor causes a lot of people to underestimate her. When they challenge her to a battle, they are later shocked by just how ferocious and skilled she is as a trainer.

Illya has become quite famous everywhere she travels - owing to her infectiously sweet, genuine and kind nature contrasting her ferocity and skill in pokemon battles.

She’s extremely intelligent, observant and intuitive. She often stays on the defensive for long periods of time before she works out a strategy or her opponent pokemon’s weak points before going in for the (metaphorical) kill. Reckless trainers who don’t plan accordingly are the quickest to lose to her.

She WILL order her pokemon to use stun debuffs on your pokemon (sleep, charm etc). And she won’t apologize for it.... until the battle is over.

As stated, since Illya doesn’t especially care about dueling or becoming known as the best pokemon trainer, she often doesn’t see the need to challenge gym leaders to duels unless her friends urge her to, or if beating a gym leader is required for her to be able to advance in her journey.

Illya’s an extremely good sport. She’ll congratulate you wholeheartedly if you defeat her, and will also wish you ‘good fight!’ if she beats you.

Gives the best hugs - especially to her pokemon. It’s not uncommon for people to see her giving group hugs to her pokemon after a particularly tough or difficult duel.

Illya actually has a lot of pokemon, many captured but also many that she befriended and didn’t officially ‘catch’ until they decided to follow her home. She carries a fair bunch around with her, but also left a good number of her pokemon at home to live peacefull with her father. Of course, she only enters battle with 6 pokemon at maximum, as per usual pokemon battle rules. Relationships with her main pokemon team and other notable pokemon detailed below!

While Illya is generally not one to fuss too much about her appearance or fashion, she does care about making presentable. As such, she has a more colorful and varied self-made wardrobe in her pokemon au form than she does in canon. She does however, have a favorite outfit that has become trademark to her:

A loose cloak that is fastened either with a pin or buckle, and a long flowing scarf that sways freely in the wind as she walks. Underneath her cloak, she wears a knee-length dress with a sailor collar and elbow-length sleeves and black fingerless gloves. She often switches between various hair accessories such as flower corsages, ribbons and pins. However, her brightly colored hairbands are perhaps the most well remembered to those who meet her.

Some people speculate that her scarves were sewn from the fur that was shed from her Cinccino, hence how warm and fluffy that look. Her hip length pure white hair is wrapped against her neck when she wears her scarf.

Illya’s trademark outfit in the pokemon au has two different versions: one that she wears in the spring and summer, while the other is worn in autumn and winter.

Her spring / summer attire is lighter- both in color and fabric. Her baby pink cloak is fastened with a flower pin atop her pink and purple dress. Intricate flower patterns adorns her skirt, and she wears ankle-length socks and purple flats. She also wears flower earrings

Her autumn / winter attire is made of thicker, warmer material - specifically her purple cloak which has a star print and is fastened with a buckle. Her dress is a darker blue in color, with constellation and star patterning around the edge of her skirt. There are rumors that the underside of her skirt shimmers like a starry night sky... but you’d have to be out of your mind to want to look up it to confirm said rumor. Instead of socks, she wears white tights and dark blue shoes. She also wears a star hairclip and earrings to go with her blue hairband.

Illya does not like feeling cold, and thus usually travels around wearing her cloak and scarf... however, she will on occasion take them off indoors out of respect - such as when she’s eating a meal at somebody’s house as a guest.

Illya was born to two loving parents - Cocona, a lalafellin woman who worked as a nurse at the nearest pokemon center to their home in a small, quaint town and Lachlan, an ex-pokemon trainer who retired shortly after having his name entered into the hall of fame, now settled down to live with his wife and daughter.

Cocona’s job as a nurse gave her a lot of knowledge on how to take care of pokemon, and together with her husband set up a daycare / nursery for both young and old pokemon alike, where they spent their days taking care of many different species of pokemom.

Born under those circumstances, Illya was exposed to pokemon since a very young age, and began playing with and interacting with pokemon as a toddler. She also quickly learned to help around the daycare, learning more about each different type of pokemon and how to best take care of each of their needs.

At age 9, her mother fell ill with a life-threatening disease, and in order to allow his wife to see the world before she passed on, Lachlan took Cocona away on a one year journey outside their hometown, leaving Illya alone with her aunt (Cocona’s younger sister) to take care of the pokemon daycare in their absence. Unfortunately, Illya’s aunt had a somewhat sour relationship with her sister, and was neglectful towards Illya, often leaving her unattended for extended periods of time.

Illya sought refuge and comfort from the pokemon she was tasked to take of, and for a long time, they were the only ones Illya talked to. She’d take the pokemon out flower picking, stargazing. She ate with them, slept with them and vowed to take care of them to the best of her abilities for the sake of her parents.

On a particularly terrible stormy night, the land surrounding her home became flooded with rainwater and seeped into her house. While Illya scrambled to keep the water out, her pokemon were thrown into a panic, and eventually one of the baby pidoves flew out and away from her home. Illya chased after the pidove into the woods despite the rain, the wind so strong that it caused her umbrella to be carried away into the wind.

As she ran after the pidove, she slipped and tumbled down a hill, breaking her leg. Now injured, scared and alone in the middle of the forest, the young Illya cried for help, but her voice was drowned out by the sound of the pouring rain and thunder. With nothing but the darkness of the night staring back at her and fearing that a wild animal or hostile pokemon may be lurking about and attack her, Illya attempted to crawl her way back home, but the pain from attempting to stand up only causes her to collapse once more.

It felt like the entire world had abandoned her, and just as she heard a strange noise from the shadows and feared the worse, a mimikyu approaches her from the dark and sat by her, watching over her and shielding her with its appendages, as if to reassure her that it won’t let any harm come to her.

She was found later in the morning by the people from the nearest town, who had gone over to her house to check on her only to find she wasn’t in, her pokemon panicking and gesturing towards the forest for the townspeople to look for her. The pidove was hold safely afterwards too, trembling as it took shelter in a tree.

The incident left Illya well traumatized, and stemmed her own growing self-hatred and anxiety which would only grow worse as she grew to become a teenager.

She doesn’t like talking much about what happened to her as a child, and she only ever mentions the incident to people she truly cares about and trusts. And if anybody were to ever upset her by being pushy and asking her about it when she doesn’t want to share, her Mimikyu would be the first to smack the offender in the head.

Her main pokemon team underwent a few changes over the years, but for the most part now, it’s fixed and she rarely switches members of her party out for another pokemon unless she thinks it’s really necessary.

One of the first and oldest member of her current pokemon party. Illya and her Mimikyu are inseparable.

Mimikyu had in truth been watching her since she was but a child, enviously admiring how happy her family and her pokemon in their daycare had been together. He had, on multiple occasions, attempted to show himself in order to be part of their family, but was always too cowardly to do so. He would always scurry away whenever Illya or her parents would approach, hiding in the shadows and only ever watching from a distance. He watched her even as she was left alone, and on the fateful night of that storm where Illya would find herself lost and injured in the forest, Mimikyu folllowed her.

Watching Illya cry alone in the rain, he felt a surge of protectiveness and compelled him to finally step out of the shadow to comfort and protect her through the night. Perhaps in that instance, he saw himself in Illya, someone who was scared, alone and just wanted to be loved. He could relate to Illya’s loneliness, and loved her for the way she would love and accept any pokemon, regardless of their appearance or strength.

Since that day, Mimikyu hasn’t left Illya’s side and is one of the most protective pokemon of her.

Mimikyu can often be found sitting on Illya’s head when he’s out of his pokeball and traveling around with her. He will extend his appendage out to grab any food that she offers him, or even to swat away anyone who gets too close to Illya.

Compared to other Mimikyu, Illya’s Mimikyu isn’t at all aggressive towards Pikachu. It is however, very shy and embarrassed and will attempt to hide if it spots one.

As Mimikyu only really cares about what Illya thinks, he won’t attack anyone who catches a glimpse of him under his disguise. But he will be very, very grouchy.

He gets along decently well with all her other pokemon, though it is sometimes jealous of how big and strong Corviknight is.

From a distance or as a shadow, Illya’s scarf often resembles the appendage Mimikyu extends out. Once, while the pair were out in the woods and Mimikyu was sitting on Illya’s head, it extended its appendage to grab hold of a treat Illya was offering it. A distant passerby who could not see clearly in the dark of the night mistook their silhouetted figure as being a monster - or a near and frightening mythical pokemon. The myth is still circulating to this day, and Illya has no idea that it had been caused by her and her Mimikyu.

Mimikyu doesn’t like going inside his pokeball - not that Illya would force him to. He’d of course, prefer to spend time outside with Illya. He especially never leaves her sight while she sleeps, often snuggling up to her beneath the covers or otherwise making himself comfortable in her scarf that she set aside.

He’s surprisingly, and scarily very physically strong - able to grab hold of other pokemon and even other people several hundred times larger than itself. He uses this to his advantage by grabbing people who get too close to Illya and shoving them away - and he’s not at all gentle about it.

Comfey shares Illya’s love and passion for flowers and it’s not uncommon to see her Comfey drifting around her, weaving flowers into her hair as she walked. The scent of the flower crowns Comfey weaves makes people who wear them feel relaxed, so she often wraps Illya in flowers whenever the girl is feeling particularly stressed or uncomfortable.

Comfey loves decorating hotel rooms and campsites with flowers she picks from the wild, and she seems to be particularly generous when it comes to giving out her flowers to others. Friendly, sweet and kind - it’s almost as if Comfey was an extension of Illya herself sometimes.

Comfey is the resident healer of Illya’s pokemon roster, able to not only heal the ailments of humans but also the other pokemon. She is especially active when Illya is helping out at pokemon centers or giving first aid to others. When Illya is in pain, Comfey often goes into a tearful panic.

Corviknight’s appearance almost always gives other people a heart attack. Nobody ever expects someone as small, cute and demure as Illya to have such an intimidating looking pokemon. But she does, and she is just as affectionate to him as she is with her other pokemon. Strangely, Corviknight seems to be very uncooperative to everyone except her.

Once lacking a flying type pokemon, Illya almost fell to her death after being pushed off a cliff. Corviknight caught her in midair and hid her under his wings after he landed, guarding her with a ferocious glare even as other humans attempted to check on her. Ever since, he’s ever a watchful guardian to her, glaring from behind her back even as she smiles sweetly at others.

Corviknight also serves as Illya’s main mode of transportation when she isn’t able to walk herself. As Illya loves taking her time to explore on her own two feet, she tries to not overly rely on Corviknight... sometimes, it can’t be helped however - such as when she needs to cross large bodies of water.

Interestingly, Corviknight bears a striking resemblance in both his aesthetic and personality to a hyuran pokemon trainer of dark skin and black hair who has secret romantic feelings for Illya.

Bellossom met Illya while the girl was traveling through a tropical area that has been haunted by rain clouds and dark skies for the past several days. Illya was first attracted to bellossom because of the flowers on her head, and had watched as the Bellossom danced and chanted, mesmerized when the rainclouds pulled apart and sunlight began to shine through.

The two quickly bonded, with Bellossom teaching Illya her sun summoning dance before finally, she decided to join Illya together on her journey.

She wasn’t exactly meant to be a part of Illya’s team, and for a while, she was but a mere travel companion. However, Illya noticed just how active and enthusiastic Bellossom was to battle - or perhaps she saw it as an opportunity to show off her dance to more people. Regardless, bellossom hence became a new member of Illya’s pokemon team replacing Cincinno.

If it wasn’t obvious enough, Bellossom loves to dance. She is rarely ever seen not at least swaying to its own beat while she’s outside her pokeball, and she becomes very eager when other pokemon or humans show an interest in learning her dance.

Evolved from an eevee that Illya had taken care of since she was a child, it alongside Mimikyu are the two most senior members of her current pokemon team and also the longest to have known her.

Sylveon is a free spirit, much like he had been when he was still a baby eevee. He enjoys roaming about a fair bit, though he takes care to not stray too far from Illya.

He’s very attached to Illya and much like other sylveons, understands his trainer’s emotional state well by wrapping his feelers around her hand while walking with her. Whenever Illya gets sad or upset, he often likes sitting in her lap, purring and nuzzling himself against her in an attempt to make her feel better. He also wraps his feelers around her in an attempt to soothe and calm her down whenever she cries.

Despite his adorable appearance, he’s actually very daring and fearless, never once backing down from a confrontation or fight with other pokemon even if they are multiple times his size or even if they are a type that holds an advantage against him.

Illya’s Sylveon is also very attached to Alphinaud’s Espeon, nuzzling himself to espeon whenever Alphinaud has it out.

Gardevoir was one of the latest pokemon to have joined Illya’s team. She is an extremely elegant, regal but also stoic member of the party.

Like other Gardevoir, she is able to read the future - and it was through her prediction that she foresaw her meeting with Illya and prematurely approached her. She is also able to distort dimensions and create black holes, though she rarely ever does the latter.

Much like Mimikyu and Corviknight, Gardevoir is extremely protective of Illya despite not having known her for as long as the others have and would not hesitate to expand her own psychic powers to her fullest if she feels like Illya may be in any sort of danger.

Though powerful, she doesn’t tend to like roaming about much and mostly stays within her pokeball unless Illya calls her out for food or battle.

Gardevoir’s demeanor and headstrong personality reminds Illya a lot of her late mother, and perhaps there is some deeper reason for why Gardevoir herself feels such a strong need to protect Illya as if she were her own kin.

Some of her pokemon are carried around with her as travel companions, only occasionally taking part in battles, while others are left at home to be cared for by her father.

TRAVEL COMPANIONS [to be updated as au is expanded on]

Vulpix: A male vulpix that Illya carries around and cuddles with during the winter or when she’s traveling through locations with colder climates. Out of all her pokemon who are not part of her main party of 6, vulpix is probably one of the most active and frequently called forth in battles that aren’t official tournament leagues or competitions. Illya also calls her vulpix out whenever fire is needed. He is brave and enthusiastic and hopes to one day evolve himself into Ninetales.

Dragonair: A gentle male dragonair that Illya caught near a lake one day during clear skies. It had dragged her into the sky and allowed her to ride on his back, soaring high into the clouds before dipping back down towards the waters. However, Illya lost her balance and fell into the water. He still feels bad about it to this day. He likes to curl around her to sleep.

Cinccino: A playful female cinccino who evolved from one of Illya’s minccino that she has been caring for as a child. She was once an active member of Illya’s party, but now is more of a travel companion who rarely ever battles now. Some people believe that Illya used the fur shed from Cinccino’s scarf to sew her own trademark scarf that she’s seen traveling around with now.

Rowlet: Though Illya gets along with many pokemon in general, birds in particular seem to be very fond of her. This male rowlet followed Illya as she was traveling through the woods and eventually became a part of travel party. He doesn’t see very many fights but he does love to cuddle and is very affectionate towards not just Illya but other pokemon and trainers.

Alcremie: A shy female Alcremie who offers sweets to new friends she meets. Illya often has reservations about eating the cream and berries secreted from her, but after being assured that it doesn’t at all hurt her Alcremie and that it’s offering of sweets is a sign of affection, Illya has started learning to indulge more in sweet foods more and more. Illya doesn’t have the heart to tell Alcremie she prefers spicy food, though.

Trevenant: A female trevenant that attacked a woodcutter that Illya saved while traversing through the forest. Convinced at first that Illya intended on harming the forest, it proceeded to trap her in a cage of trees until she was finally convinced to release Illya after witnessing the way Illya refused to let her vulpix burn the trees down just to escape. She follows Illya around and holds a lot of respect for the way Illya cared for nature and the environment.

Hatterene: A reclusive Hatterene Illya met during her travel. She once hated Illya, chasing her by emiting a strong psychic aura much like she does with other strangers. Upon sensing Illya’s lack of hostility and own gentle soul however, she eventually calmed down enough to allow Illya to approach. She is very moody and temperamental.

NOTABLE POKEMONS AT HOME [not including pokemon that belong to Lachlan or pokemon that belong to other people being taken care of]. List is NOT exhaustive!

Cleffa: A female cleffa born from Cocona’s retired Clefairy. As Cocona passed away shortly before cleffa was hatched, Illya became her owner / trainer instead. Though cleffa wishes to someday be a part of Illya’s team, grow stronger and evolve herself, Illya hasn’t quite allowed herself to let go of her mother’s death, and hence prefers to keep cleffa safe at home. It’s one of the rare instances where Illya has explicitly gone against a pokemon’s wishes, even if out of a genuine love and protectiveness of it.

Musharna: A female Musharna that eats the nightmares of Lachlan and any guests who come to stay over at their house. She sleeps a lot and frankly cannot care any less about battling.

Chimecho: A male Chimecho that Illya caught and took along with her on her journey for a while, before leaving him at home with Lachlan. He likes hanging himself to the roof of the house and swinging in the breeze. Not hearing chimecho’s wind chimes tells Lachlan and Illya that something is wrong.

Azurill: A male baby Azurill that Illya rescued. He is very timid and lacks a lot of confidence. He wants to get better at doing battle, but still has a lot of training to do before it can get to that point.

Beedrill: A male beedrill that was evolved from a weedle - the very first pokemon Illya ever caught in the wild on her own. She’s trained him personally as she grew up, and he saw many of her clumsy behavior and less experienced days. He’s sort of retired now, spending his days keeping the more rowdy pokemon in the daycare in check.

Theme songs

If pokemon au illya were to have a theme / ost track, it’d be this lovely re-orchestrated track of the Lacunosa Town Theme! It’s soft, peaceful and has a touch of melancholy which suits her perfectly. This, this and this remix also fits her and may double as her battle theme?

Illyanaud track mayyyybe?

Legendaries / Mythicals??

I didn’t include any legendaries or mythical pokemons into her roster because lore regarding those are that they’re very very rare BUT if Illya were allowed to have a legendary and a mythical pokemon, she’d probably own a Cresselia and a Celebi!

Cresselia, the Lunar Pokémon. Shiny particles are released from its wings like a veil. It is said to represent the crescent moon. On nights around the quarter moon, the aurora from its tail extends and undulates beautifully.

Celebi, the Time Travel Pokémon. This Pokémon wanders across time. Grass and trees flourish in the forests in which it has appeared. When Celebi disappears deep in a forest, it is said to leave behind an egg it brought from the future.

Shout out to Diancie, who is a close second choice solely based on the fact it’s design looks like what Illya would be if she herself were a pokemon.

Relationships with other OCs / NPCs

To be added!

#ffxiv #final fantasy xiv #illya skawi #headcanons #mine #the greatest treasures #pokemon au #ffxiv art #i looked over this post maybe more than fifty times now and #one half of my brain says this is long enough and nobody's gonna care to read it all #the other half is saying i should write more #THANK YOU SO MUCH KAI FOR THE ILLYA DRAWINGS #HONESTLY YOU'RE SUCH A SWEETHEART FOR MAKING MY IFFY DESIGN REQUESTS INTO A REALITY #i already have alphinaud's team planned out and what some of the extra pokemon he owns will be but #i don't have the strength...to edit graphics for him....

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kickingitwithkirk · 4 years

Text

Greetings From Austin

Pairing: Alpha!Jensen Ackles x Alpha!Jared Padalecki x Omega!OFC

Summary: Jensen and Jared are at odds over a monumental decision that changes their lives in a way they couldn’t have envisioned.

Word Count: 2616

Warnings: a/b/o, homophobia, bisexuality, biphobia, angst, cursing, self doubt, depression/anxiety, medical stuff, sexual dysfunction, infertility

*additional warnings to be added in future parts.

A/N: Here we go again with one my weird as hell dreams, series Inspired by this art.

A/N II: There is no intentional hate or malevolence intended towards any of the Ackles or Padalecki families. This is a purely fictional piece containing real and created persons/names/events set in the fictional A/B/O verse. Some dates/events altered to fit story.

*no beta-all mistakes are mine

*divider by @writeyourmindaway

*images found online

Prologue

Austin, TX

Mid July

“Babe,” Jensen softly says in a low voice to the person seated next to him in the waiting room, “Babe,” he says a bit louder, still getting no response. Leaning close, he blows into their ear.

Jared starts, his “what” muffled by the finger he’s been chewing on.

“You know you can’t do that, don’t want you getting sick.” Taking his hand Jensen pulls it away from his pretty pink lips, gently caressing the finger. Jared had finally stopped chewing on his hands when Covid-19 became widespread.

“Where’s your gum?” Jared bite his lip not answering.

Sighing, Jensen shifts retrieving his pack and hands a piece to him. “What’s got you masticating again?” He inquires as Jared pops the stick in his mouth.

Jared chews the gum nervously weighing how to answer the question knowing Jensen won’t accept anything less than the whole truth. “What if something goes wrong again because of me.”

Jensen’s brow furrowed. He learned years ago that while their relationship is one of equals, he had to be lead Alpha when Jared’s mental state overwhelmed him as it had the last few weeks.

***

After the public announcement in March 2019 that season fifteen would be Supernaturals last, they had agreed when finished with the pickups they would take an extended break, return to Austin and concentrate on their marriage.

Jared intended to stop acting indefinitely, pursuing other interests and Jensen wanted to concentrate on his music.

Of course, things didn’t quite end up how they planned.

Jared entered negotiations to star in the Walker, Texas Ranger reboot, along with being an executive producer. Jensen got a call from Kripke wanting him for the role of Soldier Boy in The Boys third season.

But by March of 2020, everything came to a halt thanks to the Corona-virus.

The shutdowns left Supernaturals final two episodes with no definitive filming date and their seemingly never ending last season put their other projects on hold.

For the first time in years they had the luxury of a leisurely schedule, not having to be somewhere on a timetable, they could communicate with friends and family uninterrupted, deal with their other businesses, charities, etc, leaving most days free to enjoy being together without constraint.

But even amazing, awesome, vigorous sex on every horizontal/vertical surface that could support the two big Alphas only filled so many hours and like many couples, they started getting each others nerves and looked for other ways to stay occupied.

By late May, Jared was unable to sleep or eat, even going out of the house became a chore. When he hit a consecutive fourth day in bed, Jensen bodily dragged him into the bath for a desperately needed shower and loaded him in his truck driving to his doctor's.

Upon checking in they were told patients only allowed in the facility. Jared started panicking, saying he was having chest pains and couldn’t breath. He was rushed in with Jensen hot on their heels after morphing into an overprotective Alpha mate no one was stopping.

Jared’s doctor deduced with the lock-downs prohibiting him from his routine checkups and periodic adjustments needed to his medications triggered this episode.

The first step was to wean him off his current prescriptions and change to a newly approved, alternative regime. He was checked in a facility for ten days under observation while detoxing off his meds.

His therapist switched his twice weekly tele-counseling sessions to daily for the foreseeable future and Kodas certification as an emotional support animal was approved. His progress was slow but he was returning back to his sweet natured, big hearted, exceptionally tactical, overgrown puppy self.

When the surprise call from the clinic came a few days ago about an appointment opening, Jensen initially didn’t want it, still in his overly excessive protective Alpha mode. Jared’s outburst made him relent, fearing they were on a collision course for a major setback if he didn’t.

And Jensen, being Jensen, went overboard to ensure the appointment was absolutely private.

Part I

Jared was about to speak when a woman in scrubs called out, “Mr. Bonham and Mr. Page.” they got up crossing over to her, “Hello, I’m Sissy, Dr. Rodgers nurse, please follow me.”

They pass through the doorway leading through a maze of halls like that of any other medical clinic except this one specialized in a very specific service.

The nurse opens a door near the back of the clinic gesturing for them to enter the spacious office, “Please have a seat, the doctor will be with you shortly.” She closed the door and they sat down in the pair of chairs directly in front of the large, dark mahogany desk.

Jensen, scenting Jared’s nervousness, lifts his right hand kissing his palm, making him chuckle at the tickle of Jen’s soft beard before twining their fingers together and setting them on his left thigh, smiling reassuringly.

There was a brief knock before the door opened and an older, silver haired Beta entered. “Hello, I’m Dr. Rodgers, how are we doing today?” He asks, moving to his chair behind the desk.

Jared gave him a tight smile and Jensen remained placid.

The doctor raises an eyebrow, “Relax Mr. Page, this is just a visit to go over the paperwork before deciding about how we proceed, not the Spanish Inquisition.” Jared releases his held breath but couldn’t completely calm himself.

“I know the process can be overwhelming but I must ask, is there something we’ve done to make you uncomfortable?” Dr. Rodgers inquires.

“No, everyone’s been really nice, very professional. It’s just we..we had issues the first time we attempted to do this.” Jared finished his sentence quietly, in the recess of his mind; something bad is gonna happen and it’ll be my fault.

Jensen squeezes his hand tighter, instinctively sensing Jared’s mind was trying to spiral again, “When tried this before someone leaked our plans to the media. It wasn't ever proven the clinic was involved but...”

“We do everything possible to keep our clients anonymity protected here. All of our staff have been thoroughly vetted and sign NDA, given your professions, you're familiar with how they work. Your real identities will remain completely confidential, even if you choose to not proceed. It is why you chose this particular clinic, yes?”

“Yes, it is.” Jensen replied.

“How about we get this bit of paperwork out of the way, then we can have a more relaxed visit. I’ve gone over the applications you both submitted and have noted a few discrepancies in the medical section that need clarification before we proceed,” He opens the top file, “Mr. Bonham, why did you omit Genu Varum from your medical history?”

Jensen kept his expression neutral as he felt his stomach automatically clench. He had been mercilessly teased throughout his childhood about his bowed legs by his older brother Josh and later his buddies from school when they’d come over to hang out. By the time he was in high school Jensen’s extraordinary looks and personality were what got people’s attention first. Nowadays, many a fanfic waxed poetic about those bowed legs.

“The questionnaire inquired about inherited genetic medical conditions and since mine isn’t, I didn’t think it was necessarily applicable.” Jared hears an edge creeping into Jensen’s voice and gives their tangled fingers a quick squeeze.

“Did you see an orthopedist and were they able to determine what caused the condition? Did they suggest any surgical procedures or therapies to straighten your legs?”

“I was born a preemie, the orthopedists my parents consulted decided my condition was attributable to that.” Jensen replies tersely, dropping his vocal range. Jared gripped his hand harder, telling him to cool the attitude. “The doctor didn’t recommend surgery but sent me to physical therapy, thought it would help them straighten as I grew.”

“So no others in your immediate family have this issue?”

“Everyone my family has straight legs, including my three children.”

Jared piped in, “He hates it but he does have an exercise regimen; stretching, strength training. Oh, he also takes several different vitamins, omega oils, turmeric and extra vitamin D to support his joints.” They watched the doctor scribble a few more notes in the file before closing it.

“Mr. Page,” Jared sits up straighter in his chair, “I appreciate that you went into detail about your mental health status. I see you’ve recently been hospitalized, your medications have been changed to an alternative regiment and you’ve also increased your therapy sessions?”

Jared’s interview continued for another twenty minutes as Dr. Rodgers questioned him in depth about his depression and anxiety, feeling said anxiety ratcheting up so he focused on Jensen’s thumb rhythmically moving over his hand and used every ounce of his acting skills to appear confident and in control.

Dr. Rodgers closed his file, “I only have a few general questions left then we can discuss how you wish to proceed.”

After a more relaxed, genial conversation with the doctor, Sissy took them to a couple private rooms with paraphernalia to help stimulate them into producing a couple semen samples.

Jensen was getting close to finishing with his favorite spank-bank fantasy when he felt Jared’s frustration across their bond.

~~~

Jared couldn’t get aroused.

He felt as useless as his flaccid cock.

His doctor warned him that loss of sex drive could be a possible side effect of his new regiment until his body adjusted to it. He had struggled with temporary impotence a few times on his old meds, always fearful Jensen would finally see him as undesirable, no longer a satisfactory mate.

Rationally, he knew it was his illness causing these exceptionally hard to deal thoughts recently and the nagging idea this wasn’t the right thing for them to attempt again continually kept creeping in.

Jensen’s unspoken reluctance about having more children at his age was also weighing on his conscience, warring against his own biological longings.

They had a humongous argument when he told Jensen about taking the appointment. Jen thought this was the wrong time to attempt it again, pointing out he was just getting his equilibrium back setting Jared went off on a rant about how he no longer wanted him and would leave him like Genevieve had because he was too broken to deal with anymore.

Unmitigated anguish was written across Jensen’s beautiful features, the very notion that Jared could conceivably believe that he’d ever abandon him made his soul hurt in such a way no verbal language on earth could ever express his devastated feelings traveling across their bond.

***

Everything they’d been through; from that bar fight solidifying their friendship, Jared’s first breakdown, the years of living as roommates while secretly a couple to finding wives who understood their unique relationship and still married them both in 2010.

The joyous arrival of JJ three years later that unfortunately exacerbated Genevieve's frustration of not being able to conceive coming out with a vengeance at Jared. His unexpected breakdown in Switzerland was the final nail in their marriage. Gen was there for him but in the end it was all too much and she filed for divorce.

Shortly after, Jared’s iCloud account was hacked. It was believed, but never conclusively proven, that Gen was behind it since her lawyer was trying to break their prenuptial agreement, the videos documenting his private and explicit sexual relationship with Jensen were legally considered adulterous. In the end, the court upheld the legal document but the ramifications...

They were summoned to L.A. for the meeting from hell with WB executives, both convinced it was the end of Supernatural and their careers.

After the reaming out, they each received a weeks pay suspension to cover some of what it was gonna cost PR in time and money to deal with the inevitable repercussions and placate the show's sponsors.

How would the show’s fans react? Would they still be able to accept them as brothers only on TV while in real life they were involved in a highly stigmatized relationship?

When they returned to work there was an atmosphere of tension that hadn’t existed before. It was an open secret that all shows had their share of bitchiness and backstabbing behind the scenes. Jensen may have the thicker skin, keeping tighter control on his emotions, but Jared knew it hurt him just as deeply the loss of some of their friends because of prejudicial, social beliefs that two Alpha males shouldn’t be involved.

Jensen’s parents showed up unexpectedly in Vancouver a few weeks later. What started out as a not quite comfortable visit quickly deteriorated with his religiously conservative parents. They had not raised him like this and blamed Jared, saying he had corrupted him, leading him into a sinful lifestyle. He needed to repent and return to his wife to whom he had made a commitment before god.

Jensen blew up, replying it was none of their business, it was between them and oh, yeah, Danneel knew about them before marrying him and they better not say anything to her. Without another word his parents left. When he later called them to make amends, his mother coolly stated that he was no longer part of their family and to never contact them again.

Three months after the twins were born in 2016 came the finalization of Jensen’s divorce from Danneel, painful but congenial. They easily agreed on joint custody and still spent most holidays together. Jensen gave Dani financial security in their settlement, he wanted to make sure she didn’t have to worry about working again unless she wanted to.

All these years later, Jared continually has nagging thoughts that they had let everybody down. They received support when they publicly came out as bisexual then lost some of it when they married, being mocked for not coming out as gay.

***

There was another knock at the door and Jared ignored it, it was that nurse checking on his lack of progress again. The knock turned into pounding, “Jared, open this door now dammit!” He flinched realizing Jensen knew what was going on with him. Releasing the privacy latch and opening the door a crack he saw concerned green eyes only.

“Sorry, I thought you were that nurse,” he stepped away and sat back down as Jensen came in and re-latching it behind him. “She came to get me when you stopped answering,” Jensen said, walking over to him and started running his thick fingers through his husband’s long hair, “what’s going on babe?”

He glances up knowing that Jensen already knew, “It’s okay Jay, take as long as you need.” He paused at the unpleasant scent wafting around him. “If you’d be more comfortable we could do this at home…” Jared shakes his head, “There’s the risk of damage, contamination and or not able to get it back in time that could make the semen unusable.” Jared quotes from a website.

Jensen softly chuckled, “Nerd.”

Jared notices the bulge in his jeans, “You didn’t...”

“Drain the snake..choke the chicken..spank the monkey.”

“Fuck, okay, you didn’t! Stop using old man slang.” He shook his head smiling at Jensen intentionally goading him.

Jared reached up for the hand playing in his hair, grasping it to draw Jensen down next to him.

“Jack, I don’t want to wait any longer on doing this. I love JJ and the twins, you know I do, but they'll always be yours and Danneels. I know the timing could be better... but I'm almost thirty-eight and I want my..our own pups running around the house driving us crazy.”

“For the next eighteen years?”

“Minimum.”

tbc

Part II

SPN: @donnaintx @lyarr24

GFA: @babypink224221 @waywardjoy @let-me-luve-you @all-4-wincest

Sam/Jared @idreamofplaid

Dean/Jensen: @flamencodiva

#J2 #alpha!jensen ackles x alpha!jared padalecki #jared x jensen #a/b/o #alpha!jensen x alpha!jared x omega!ofc #alpha!jensen ackles #alpha!jared padalecki #a/b/o ofc #Jensen Ackles #Jared Padalecki #spn au #husbands

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kieraswriting · 4 years

Text

Coffin Chapter Two

Masterpost

It had been a week since Virgil had arrived, and Logan had finally read through all of the reference material about training vampires. There had been a surprising amount of it, especially since it seemed that most of it wouldn’t be useful to him.

It seemed that the major point, in all of these books, was getting the vampire to a point at which it would be compliant and submissive. The methods of arriving at this point were varied, but many of them involved keeping the vampire under constant threat of pain. There were several points at which Logan’s stomach turned, reading through the accounts. He would have to keep the books away from Patton.

However, Virgil was already compliant, seemingly as a side effect of being kept in the coffin for a lengthy period of time. And also, Logan was not unaware, likely this was affected by Patton’s immediate kindness, and possibly also by Virgil’s age. He certainly was the youngest vampire Logan had ever come into contact with, and the only to claim to have never killed a human. He wasn’t sure if he believed the claim, but still.

But next was a short section on compliancy tests, after which it was suggested that the vampire could be taken on hunts, so long as they were in a situation to be controlled should something go wrong. It seemed that the easiest and simplest first test was the silver test. Logan was ready. He already had silver. He grabbed a bolt that was usually used in crossbows, but they didn’t have any crossbows, just a three-set of the bolts. It had been a gift to Patton several months ago.

He went downstairs, noting that Virgil was trembling again. He’d have to figure that out. Surely it wasn’t still fear. Virgil didn’t stand, but he did turn to face him when he saw that Logan was heading towards the cell.

Logan sat down outside of the cell, facing Virgil. Virgil still had that toy Patton had given him, and was fiddling with it with one hand down in his lap. His wrists still looked awful. Shouldn’t they have healed by now? He’d ask later. For now the test.

Logan held up the bolt. “This is made entirely of silver.”

Virgil nodded hesitantly.

Logan rolled it into the cell, and Virgil scrambled back away from it. Something rose up in him. Some kind of feeling. But Logan pushed it back down. It was a test. And Virgil was only a vampire.

“I want you to pick it up.” Logan said.

Virgil looked back and forth between the bolt and Logan. “I-it does hurt me,” he said, holding out his wrists as examples.

Whatever that feeling was, it lifted its head and bit him, but Logan shoved it down again. “I am aware.”

Virgil looked down at the bolt as if it was about to come alive and bite him. “Why?” His voice was very quiet, as if he were trying very hard to make sure it didn’t sound accusatory.

“I want you to do it because I told you to.” Logan said.

Virgil looked from him to the bolt and back again. He gritted his teeth and picked up the bolt. Immediately his face twisted in pain, but he didn’t drop the bolt.

“Hand it to me,” Logan instructed, putting his own hand through the bars to receive it.

Virgil dropped the bolt into his hand immediately. He let out a hissing breath, tucking his hand to his stomach. Logan had a brief glimpse of reddened, welted skin.

He had shoved the feeling down, but now it started rooting around in his stomach, gnawing painfully. “Well done, Virgil.”

Virgil nodded, still trying to blink back tears.

Logan stood to leave.

“Wait!”

Logan turned back to Virgil.

“I—Can I—? I’m hungry.”

Logan gave a slight frown. “Already? It was my impression that vampires ate less frequently.”

“Normally, if, if we’ve had a full meal.”

Logan has only wanted to do one test today. But the second test listed was a hunger test. It was perfectly logical to conduct the test now.

Still, the feeling in his stomach squirmed uncomfortably as he said, “No.”

Virgil’s face fell.

Logan moved to a cabinet and pulled out a childish game that Patton kept there. If worst came to worst, he didn’t doubt that he could overpower Virgil, especially since he still had the silver bolt in his pocket. He unlocked the cell door.

“Come. I want you to play this game with me.”

Virgil came out and sat down on the couch. Logan set up the game, easily playing while keeping his attention on observing Virgil.

Virgil’s eyes had been tinged with red, but as they played, as Logan stayed so close, the red darkened. They played several rounds in near silence.

As time passed, Virgil’s playing grew more simplistic, his physical movements became more jerky, and he stared more and more at Logan’s wrists. Clearly the bloodlust was affecting him. Honestly, Logan was surprised that Virgil hadn’t made any kind of move toward him yet.

“When this round is over,” Virgil said, his voice deep and growling on the way out. “Can I eat? Please?”

Logan looked up into Virgil’s eyes, not seeing any aggression, even though they were nearly glowing red now. He wanted to see how far he could push this.

“No.”

Virgil’s jaw clenched, and he swallowed heavily. He stood up. Logan’s hand went to the silver bolt. Virgil went into the cell, pulling the door shut.

“I can’t. I can’t stay there. I’m sorry.”

Logan wondered if this counted as passing the test. On the one hand, Virgil had just eaten a week ago, even if it was small. On the other hand, removing oneself from a situation was a legitimate form of self control.

“Very well.” Logan locked the cell door.

He went upstairs. He was practiced in letting his own blood, and sat down to do so. He was hit with a sudden question, and started writing an email right away.

Sir, I wish to have the records of the vampire which you sent us. Specifically regarding feeding schedules. Provided, of course, that this does not contradict the rules of the final test. Thank you.

Logan.

He was just cleaning up when he received a reply.

The vampire was captured on 7/13. It was kept in a containment coffin. It was fed 8 oz. of human blood on 8/17. It was shipped on 9/3. The date of its arrival is estimated to be 9/15. For further details you will have to make an official request.

Virgil is starving.

Depending on when he ate before capture, it could have been well over a month between eating then, and it was another month before he ate. Both times it was well under half of what would properly constitute a full meal. And the whole time he was trapped inside a coffin in constant contact with silver.

Logan’s stomach lurched, and he dove for the sink, leaning over it heavily.

Even for an uncontrollably violent vampire it would be cruel and inhumane.

This was why the silver burns weren’t healing. And why Virgil kept shaking. Why he’d been so terrified. Why he’d broken down like he had when he had been released. It was a wonder he hadn’t been driven mad.

Logan was going to need more blood.

•^*^••

Virgil crouched in the back corner of the cage, his hands fisted tightly in his hair, wishing that the mattress was a bed so he could crawl underneath it. Anything to hide him from the hunger that had spread to every cell of his body.

It hadn’t been that bad until he had come in. Until the scent of blood had filled the room. And then he had pulled out a game, his hands close enough to touch. Close enough to bite. Red and warm flowing just underneath. Of course, he still had the muzzle on, but it was so easily removed. Just a string behind his head.

Virgil clenched his jaw again. He couldn’t keep thinking about it. It only made it worse.

The door to the basement opened, and the smell became so much stronger all over again. Virgil clenched his hands tighter and buried his face down in his knees.

“Please… don’t… “

He heard the cell door open.

“Virgil, I brought you food.” It was Logan, but his voice was much gentler than Virgil had yet heard it.

Virgil’s head popped up immediately, almost against his will. Logan was kneeling in front of him, and in one hand was a blood bag, except this one was full.

Virgil could have cried. Scratch that, Virgil did cry. Logan untied the muzzle and handed Virgil the bag. It was drained in a few brief minutes, but they seemed like some of the most heavenly minutes Virgil had ever experienced.

The hunger finally stopped. He even felt full. He started feeling almost uncomfortably warm, and his wrists and ankles prickled where the skin was starting to heal. The fear he’d been trapped in loosened its hold, and suddenly he was very tired.

“Perhaps that was too much at once,” Logan mused.

“No! I’m-I’m awake. Thank you.”

•^*^••

Patton smelled blood. Which was odd. That meant that either Logan or Roman had let blood recently, like last half hour recently. Or maybe just hadn’t cleaned up very well. Patton wandered around the house, but didn’t see either of them. Roman was probably not home, since he had plenty of other things he did in addition to being a hunter-in-training. But Logan was almost always home, and left a note if he wasn’t.

Suddenly a horrible thought crashed into Patton’s mind. What if Virgil had hurt Logan? If Logan was downstairs, bleeding, that would explain both his absence and the blood smell. Patton patted his pocket, the gun was still there. And he knew he kept it loaded. He rushed downstairs.

Logan was inside the cell, with the door open, but seemed perfectly fine. Virgil was holding an empty blood bag, his face flushed and streaked with tears, and his eyes bright red. Patton let out a breath and let go of the gun.

Both Logan and Virgil turned to look at him.

“Greetings, Patton. How was the visit with your parents?”

“It was fine. I think it might have put me a bit on edge, though.”

“That does not seem to be an uncommon occurrence.” Logan noted.

Logan turned back to Virgil and picked up the muzzle. Virgil dipped his head forward to let Logan put it on.

Patton found that he was surprised. He shouldn’t be. Virgil had been perfectly submissive to anything any of them had asked of him. But, coming straight from his parents’ house, it was just different. It made him feel weird. And not a good weird either.

Somehow, he doubted that these feelings were what was intended by the final test. He’d been expecting a wild vampire, one that they had to keep perfectly restrained or else it would attack them. And judging by what his father had been saying earlier, that was exactly the intention. But somehow they had gotten Virgil, who seemed more human than Patton could have ever guessed a vampire could be. And now, Patton was left feeling incredibly guilty.

Maybe he could talk with Logan about it. Logan didn’t really understand feelings, but he always had an opinion, and facts to base his opinion on. So maybe Logan would help him stop feeling so guilty. He knew he shouldn’t feel guilty. As far as hunters went, they were being exceptionally kind to a captured vampire. But it still didn’t stop him from feeling just terrible when he saw Virgil’s face marked with tears.

“Hey, Logan, can I talk with you?” Patton asked.

“Of course.”

Logan came out and shut the cell door behind him.

Patton took Logan back upstairs and poured them each a coffee.

“What is it?” Logan asked. “You aren’t usually this hesitant to begin talking.”

“It’s just….” Patton sat down and took a sip of his coffee. “I’m feeling like, like we aren’t treating Virgil right.”

To his surprise, Logan nodded immediately. “I would agree with you.”

Patton frowned. This was not how he had expected the conversation to go. “What?”

“I’ve found myself… deeply disturbed at the suggested tests in the material we’ve been given. I was even more certain after administering some of the tests. I asked about Virgil’s feeding schedule before coming here, and now I am certain that there is something fundamentally wrong in the way that hunters are instructed to treat vampires.”

A part of Patton strongly agreed with Logan. But it still went against everything he’d ever been taught. He found himself advocating for the very thing he’d always disliked. “But normal vampires aren’t like Virgil.”

“That does appear to be true, however, I am now considering the possibility that we have only been exposed to vampires that are violent, and the further possibility that it was a purposeful move on the behalf of our teachers.”

“But I’ve been around loads and loads of vampires in my life, and I’ve never met one like Virgil.”

“That is only half true. You yourself have told me that you’ve seen vampires act in sometimes shockingly docile ways. In ways that inspired you to pity them. That you disagreed with those that would hurt them.”

Patton nodded slowly. He knew Logan was right. But it just… it just went against everything he’d been taught. He knew, if he made a decision, it could put him against both his mom and dad, maybe forever.

“I still believe that, human or vampire, if one is hurting and killing others, that we would be in the right to kill them. But I’m beginning to disbelieve that all vampires by nature hurt and kill.” Logan said.

Patton hung his head. “You’re right. I just… I don’t know what to do about it. I don’t think letting Virgil go will help anybody. If any of us doesn’t pass this test… well, Dad will be upset. And I don’t think Roman will agree with us.”

“I don’t know what exactly is the best course of action yet, either. But we have plenty of time to research and consider before we are forced into a decision.”

“Do we? I don’t know that I can just leave him down there knowing that I’m doing the wrong thing.”

“Help me then. Surely someone else has come to the same conclusion we have. We just have to find them.”

•^*^••

Roman made it back late at night. Logan and Patton were usually in bed at this time, so he made sure to be quiet as he opened the door and set down his bag. In the kitchen was a note on the table.

Patton and I have gone together to do research. We will likely wish to speak with you upon our return.

Logan.

There’s food in the oven, just turn it on for 30 min!

Patton :)

Roman smiled. It was odd of Patton to join Logan in his research expeditions, but not unheard of. The stranger thing was that Logan still insisted on leaving notes, when he could have just as easily, or more easily, texted.

Roman turned on the oven and sat in the living room. Maybe he’d watch some tv while he waited.

He suddenly realized that the vampire had been left alone for some time at least, and he was responsible, since he was the one home. He should probably check, while the food was cooking.

He went to the basement door and clicked the light on. As he opened the door, he heard a scramble and a quiet clang. Roman rushed downstairs to see the vampire sitting on its bed, breathing heavily.

He looked around the room, noting the cards on the table and the several open cabinets.

“What were you doing?”

“... nothing.”

“No, you don’t lie to me,” Roman said, stalking towards the cell. “You got out, didn’t you?”

The vampire cringed back into the corner. “The door was left unlocked… I didn’t go upstairs.”

Roman scowled. “And you thought that you could just come out? What were you even doing?”

The vampire held up sloppily bandaged arms. “I found some medicine, and the cards.”

“You can’t just go and take our stuff! None of it belongs to you!”

“Well… I-I don’t belong to you either!” The vampire said, raising its voice.

Roman flung the door open.

“No. No, I’m sorry. I’m sorry.” The vampire covered its head with its arms.

“You’re a vampire. You hurt people. Your whole kind hurts, and kills, and destroys! You deserve whatever happens to you.”

The vampire curled up into a tight ball. “Humans hurt me too. They killed my sire and kidnapped me and hurt me.”

“Your sire,” Roman scoffed. “Your sire took a perfectly decent person and broke them into a vampire.”

“No, she didn’t! You don’t know anything about her!” Despite the angry tone, the words were still quiet, and muffled by the vampire’s head being tucked down into its knees.

“I know she killed and hurt people. Like all vampires do. She stole your chance at a normal life.”

“She was trying to help me!”

“How does turning you into a vampire help you? You have to leech off others to live, you want to hurt people—“

“No, I don’t!” The vampire broke in. “I’ve never wanted to hurt people.”

“Then why do you?! Why do you all always hurt people?!” Roman slammed his hand against the bars of the cell.

The vampire didn’t make any answer other than a flinch.

Roman turned away, disgusted. He made sure to lock the cell before he went upstairs.

The food was, of course, delicious, but the moment it hit his tongue everything just tasted sour.

#sanders sides #vampire au #vampires #blood #virgil sanders #roman sanders #logan sanders #patton sanders #janus sanders #remus sanders #emile picani #remy sleep #my own work #coffin #violence #speciesism #vampire virgil #platonic moxiety

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nightlight9 · 4 years

Text

For the People, I Give Myself to You

Themes: Arranged Marriage; Wedding; Medieval

Rating: G

Summary: This was never what Derek wanted, never what his parents wanted for any of their children. But this is the best thing that he can do to help the kingdom, and he’s proud that he can support his people in this way. He just hopes, with every fiber of his being, that Prince Stilinski will turn out to be a decent husband.

AO3

----------

“You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to,” Laura tells him for the forth time since she pushed her way into his room. Derek ignores her, focusing on making sure that his cravat is straight. Smacking at his hands, Laura reaches out to smooth the fabric herself. “I’m serious, Derek. Just say the word and I’ll call the whole thing off.” Despite the quiver in her voice, Derek doesn’t believe her. It’s not that he doubts that she would fight everyone for him if he asked, because he knows his sister better than anyone and knows that she would without hesitating. But this is something that has to happen. For them, and for their people.

“I don’t mind,” he says finally. He can’t even say for sure if he’s being honest. On one hand, this was never what Derek wanted, never what his parents wanted for any of their children. On the other hand, this is the best thing that he can do to help the kingdom, and he’s proud that he can support his people in this way.

Pulling away from Laura so that he doesn’t have to see how her lips pinch together, Derek turns and examines himself in the mirror. Even with the unease making his stomach clench, Derek can admit that he looks good. The suit he’s wearing was designed and created specifically for this moment, its fabric rich and new brushing against his skin. The color, a deep emerald detailed with silver thread, makes his eyes startlingly bright. Puffing out his chest, Derek hazards a smile. These are his families colors and he will wear them with pride.

Laura catches his gaze in the mirror. “You look really good, Der,” she says finally, tucking her chin against his shoulder. Her voice is soft and tinged with a sadness that Derek understands all too well. Without her having to say it, Derek knows that Laura is thinking about their parents, about how they should be here. His own sadness mirrors hers perfectly, grief born from losing them so recently and so unexpectedly. He wishes, more than anything, that they were here. Their father, a boisterous man with a bright smile and brighter heart, would help Derek get ready. His smile would be wide and proud, and he would lighten the mood with his jokes and sincerity. Their mother would be busy making sure that everything was perfectly in place and ready for the ceremony (something that Laura should be doing now instead of staying at Derek’s side). She still would have made time to see him though, adjusting his collar and kissing his cheek gently, tears threatening to ruin her makeup.

Derek likes to think that they both would be proud of him for what he’s doing. At least, he hopes that they would be. Doing this without them is almost harder than doing it at all, which says something considering that Derek is a hopeless romantic who always dreamed of marrying for love. But this is for his family and his people. And there is nothing that Derek loves more than those two things.

Someone knocks on the door, two courteous thwacks before it’s pushed inward, breaking up the moment between the two siblings. Anders sticks his head in, looking apologetic. He had been on the council with their parents, watched Derek and Laura grow into the people they are today, and then pledged allegiance to Laura after their parents were killed. He knows, probably more than most of the council, how hard of a day this is.

“My apologies,” Anders says, stepping just inside the door so that he can bow at them respectfully. Laura tried to break him of that habit years ago, but finally gave up when every effort was met with a smile and more polite bowing. “I hate disrupting your time together, but everything is in place and the guests are waiting.”

Laura’s mouth pinches together. Unable to help it, Derek reaches out and pulls her into a tight hug, not caring if it wrinkles his suit or her gown. When he pulls back, Derek does his best to pretend he doesn’t see the tears gathered at the corner of her lashes as he turns to Anders. Standing straight with his head held high, Derek’s voice doesn’t quiver when he tells him, “Okay. I’m ready.”

Bowing again, Anders turns and leads the siblings out of the room. As soon as the doors fall shut behind them, the guards waiting there take their posts at the end of the party. Derek pays them no mind. Having grown up in the grand manor, he’s used to being tailed by guards. They are as familiar to him as the hallway they’re walking down, and in this moment Derek can’t help but be thankful for their steady presence.

“I will go into the hall first with King Stilinski at my side,” Laura says, her tone that of a queen. “I will thank everyone for gathering here for the occasion, give a small speech to mark the day, and then I will formally introduce you. Once you’ve joined me at the front of the hall, King Stilinski will call for the prince to join us. Then Master Finstock will conduct the ceremony. Afterwards I will give a closing remark, you will walk out with your husband, and everyone will adjourn to the ballroom for dinner and dancing. You need not worry about making a speech yourself; it is not expected of you to do so, even at the reception later. However, you will be called for a dance with the prince. Afterwards, you both may retire whenever you please, though it would be nice if you stayed for a little while to enjoy the party.”

Derek takes a deep breath, ignoring how shaky his exhale is. This is the right thing to do, he reminds himself. It doesn’t mater that he has never met Prince Stilinski before. This is what needs to be done.

Laura reaches out and grips his elbow, pulling him to a halt on the side of the hallway. “Remember what I said earlier,” she says, voice fierce. Her eyes glow inhuman red, a testament to how much she means this. “One word, that’s all I need.”

Inclining his head, Derek smiles. For the first time all day, the smile feels real. “I know. Really Laura, I’m okay. This is what is right, and I am honored to be able to do this for our kingdom.” Your kingdom, a voice in the back of his head reminds him. After today, he will belong to his husband’s kingdom. They will be allies, and Triskelion will always be his home, but he will be moving to Beacon Hills to stand at his husband’s side.

With a sharp nod, Laura releases him and starts walking again. “You will spend two days here before leaving for Beacon Hills, as per the standard custom, but you will stay in the rooms we’ve set up and provided for you and Prince Stilinski in the South wing. Isaac, Boyd and Erica are all going with you, so you needn’t worry about feeling cut off from the pack. I promise that the Stilinski’s understand your condition and have no concerns about allowing them to go with you. And I figured that having your best friends around would help you not to feel so alone.”

“Thank you,” Derek says, watching her from the corner of his eye. “For taking so much care with this.”

She scoffs, “It’s my job Derek,” but he can tell that she’s pleased. They reach the foyer and, straightening her posture, she nods at the guards to open the door. Inside, King Stilinski is waiting by one of the windows. He’s a proud looking man, just touched by age, and his scent is soft and welcoming. When they enter the room, he turns and smiles at them, inclining his head slightly in Laura’s direction before turning his attention to Derek.

“You must be my future son-in-law,” he says, stepping forward to take Derek’s hand. He gives it a strong shake before cupping both of his hands around it in a surprisingly caring way. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Son. I’m looking forward to getting to know you, after this whole circus is over.”

Laura looks around the room, taking in the collection of guards. “King Stilinski, where is the prince?”

The king shakes his head. “Please, call me John. If we’re to be family, it’s best to get the formalities out of the way.”

Laura smiles, a real and genuine expression. John’s easy-going attitude and kind demeanor makes it easy to relax. “John,” she tires it out, smiling wider. “Where is your son?”

“He's finishing getting ready. We-.” He clears his throat, sounding sheepish suddenly. “It might sound a little silly, but in Beacon Hills we have a tradition where the bride and groom, or in this case the groom and groom, don’t see each other until after the ceremony begins. It’s mostly old superstition, but Stiles wanted to keep with the tradition.”

Derek swallows, shifting uncomfortably. He had been hoping that he would have had a few minutes before everything started to meet the man that he was to marry.

John gives him an understanding smile. “I know that that’s less than ideal, but Stiles was adamant about it.”

He sighs. “That’s alright. At least I had a chance to meet you. I’m sure Prince Stilinski and I will have plenty of time to get to know each other after the ceremony.”

John claps him on the back good naturally. “That’s the spirit.”

Anders checks the clock on the wall and clears his throat. “My apologies, your Highnesses, but it’s time. We have to get the ceremony started.”

John rubs his hands together, then drops his arms and straightens his shoulders. “Lead the way,” he inclines his head to Laura, falling into step with her as they follow Anders out of the room. Derek trails after them, trying his best to ignore the knot that’s formed in the pit of his stomach. This is it. He’s about to be married. He can do this.

When they arrive at the entrance to the great hall where the ceremony will take place, John offers Laura his arm. She delicately accepts it, tucking her hands around his elbow. Before they leave him behind, Laura turns to flash her eyes at Derek. “I will see you soon,” she promises.

Derek can feel his own eyes glow gold in response, but he keeps his mouth shut, watching as Laura inclines her head at the guards to open the doors so that they may get started. Then she’s being swept inside, taking John with her amid the applause from the crowd, and Derek is alone with Anders and the guards.

Leaning back against the wall, Derek closes his eyes and does his best to catch his breath. He wishes, more than anything, that one of his friends was here with him. Boyd would give him some good advice and remind him of his station. Erica would smack him upside the head and tell him to stop overthinking everything. And Isaac would curl against him, doing his best to comfort Derek by being close to his pack member.

Boyd had even offered to wait with him, but Derek didn’t want to make him stay behind and miss the ceremony.

“Pardon me sir,” Anders says, stepping up to Derek’s side, effectively breaking Derek from his thoughts. His familiar eyes are kind as he waits for Derek to straighten up from the wall. “If I may be so bold.” He doesn’t finish his sentence though. Instead, he waits until Derek gestures for him to continue before he moves closer and pulls Derek into a tight hug.

For a drawn out moment, Derek doesn’t know how to react. In all of his years knowing Anders, there was only one other moment where he can recall touching him, and that was when Derek’s grandmother died. Anders had been the one to find Derek, who had been hiding since he felt her connection to the pack break off. He had crawled into the back of one of the servant closets, crying to himself as he tried to come to terms with the fact that his beloved grandmother was lost forever. Instead of forcing him to come out and face what had happened, Anders had crawled into the space beside him and pulled Derek into his side, allowing the young boy to sob against his chest until his mother eventually sought him out.

Talia had thanked Anders for taking care of her son, and he had bowed and replied that he was simply doing his duty, as though taking care of a grief stricken Derek was a part of his everyday job description as her advisor. And that had been that.

Now, he hugs Derek close, arms tight across his shoulders. Exhaling, Derek relaxes against him, feeling small once more. The action brings tears to his eyes, and he holds onto Anders tighter. This man was one of his parents’ most trusted companions. He watched Derek grow up, just as they had, helping to guide him on his way when he got lost in all of the noise of royal living.

“You should be proud of yourself,” Anders says finally, pulling away from the hug. He keeps a grip on Derek’s shoulders, holding him at arms length so that he can look him in the eyes. “I have had many privileges granted over the course of my time working for your family. Watching you and your sister grow up has been one of the best though. It has been an honor, watching you become someone who is lead by kindness and cares about his people over everything else. You are smart, and wise beyond your years, and I know without a doubt that Talia and Sebastian would be so very proud of you.”

Tears sting Derek’s eyes. With a small smile, Anders reaches out and brushes a stray tear away before he releases his hold on Derek and steps back. “I know that you are worried about what will happen after all of this unfolds, but I have no doubt that you will thrive in Beacon Hills, just as you have here. You are braver than you believe Derek, never forget that. Now, if you’ll excuse me,” clearing his throat, he bows and moves back in the direction of the door, listening to Laura give her speech inside so that he can send Derek in after his introduction.

Derek is grateful that Laura will have Anders to look after her when he is gone. For all that he seems to be the picture of a respectful advisor and nothing more, it's clear that he cares about the Hale family. Derek is grateful for him. His words have strengthened the resolve that Derek has been feeling about the wedding. Even though it doesn’t make up for the fact that his parents aren’t there, Derek feels better knowing that someone who had known them so well is going to be there to watch him get married in their place.

“Your Highness,” Anders says, turning to look at him with proud, gleaming eyes. “It is time.”

Straightening his shoulders, Derek moves to the entrance of the great hall. Before he steps inside, he turns to Anders and says, “Thank you,” hoping that he understands just how much Derek means that.

Anders smiles and bows deeply. And then Derek takes a deep breath, and passes over the threshold into the hall. He can feel everyone’s eyes on him as he moves down the aisle, but he keeps his own gaze locked on where Laura stands at the front of the crowd waiting for him. When he steps up to her side, she kisses each of his cheeks gently and then moves off to the side. John takes her place beside Derek, shaking his hand and then waiting until Derek has moved to where Finstock is waiting before beginning his own introduction.

He talks about Beacon Hills and what this marriage will mean for both kingdoms, and Derek tries his best to pay attention. This is, after all, going to be his new home. But he gets distracted looking for his friends in the crowd. When he finally finds them amongst the guests, a real smile pulls his lips up. Boyd looks stoic as ever sitting tall and proud at the end of the row they’re in. He meets Derek’s gaze and gives him the slightest of nods before reaching out and taking Erica’s hand. His wife is crying into a handkerchief while simultaneously doing her best not to look like she’s crying. Ignoring what John is saying, Derek raises his eyebrows at her. Subtly she bares her teeth at him, a threat that makes Derek’s smile grow. Beside her, Isaac rolls his eyes at their display, but Derek doesn’t miss the way that he sniffles discreetly to himself.

He’s about to raise his eyebrows at Isaac too, but then a new scent captures his attention. In a room full of people, some of whom are wearing perfumes and oils, the smell of everything is almost overwhelming. But through it all, one scent stands out. Like lightening during a thunderstorm, there’s a power in the scent, an infectious energy that captures Derek’s attention. Tilting his head slightly upwards, Derek takes in the sweet smell of dark chocolate and cinnamon, spicy and warm. And then, Derek sees where it’s coming from.

The doors at the end of the hall have opened once more and Prince Stilinski is striding through, head held high as he moves down the aisle. Derek’s first thought is that he’s the one that smells really nice.

His second thought is that he’s beautiful. His hair is ashy brown in color, and while it is not as dark as Derek’s, it compliments his pale skin perfectly. He’s tall and toned, and, dressed in a deep red suit, he’s the brightest thing in the room. It’s impossible to look away from him. Perhaps the most striking thing though are his eyes, which are a bright bourbon and are so full of life that Derek feels a little drunk just looking at them.

This man is meant to be Derek’s husband? There must be some mistake. Derek doesn’t understand how he isn’t already married and why someone like him agreed to an arranged marriage.

Maybe he has a terrible personality, his brain offers, trying to make sense of the situation. Derek doesn’t have time to dwell on it though, because before he knows it Prince Stilinski is stepping up beside John, allowing his father to kiss his cheeks before taking his place in front of Derek. When he’s settled in place, he smiles at Derek. Helplessly, Derek smiles back.

“Thank you all for coming,” Finstock says, startling Derek enough to make him jump. “We’ve all gathered here today to celebrate the union of two great kingdoms, and I have the honor of joining together Prince Derek Hale of Triskelion and Prince Mieczysław Stilinski of Beacon Hills in glorious matrimony. Some of you may be wondering how it is that I’ve been selected for this important task, and to those people I say-.”

Laura clears her throat, raising her eyebrows expectantly when Finstock looks over at her. The whole thing makes Derek roll his eyes (albeit a little fondly), and Stiles has to reach up to muffle his laughter against his lips when Finstock blushes.

“Right.” He clears his throat. “Prince Derek Sebastian Hale, do you accept the hand of Prince Mieczysław Klaus Stilinski with the gods as witness? Do you promise to devote yourself and your time to him, vowing to follow him as you follow the moon?” Derek can feel his expression twitch. Laura thought that using the traditional vows of Triskelion would be a nice way to connect them to those that came before. Derek didn’t agree with her, and now, hearing the vows, he can’t help but feel a little uncomfortable. It’s not that their lycan ancestry is a secret. But this isn’t a ceremony between two werewolves. Prince Stilinski is human. He could never understand the weight of the vow.

Still, it was important to Laura that they follow tradition, and Derek had finally agreed. Besides, these were the same vows that their parents spoke at their wedding, and Derek likes knowing that this is something he can share with them.

Reaching out with shaking fingers, Derek takes Prince Stilinski’s right hand. He holds it delicately while he wraps a piece of red ribbon to symbolize their union around his wrist before letting it go again. Finstock holds out a small bowl filled with blue water blessed by the moon, and Derek dips two fingers into it before taking Prince Stilinski’s left hand. Carefully he rubs a strip of the water across the back of his hand, leaving a pale blue streak as he goes. These two actions have always been a part of the traditional wedding ceremonies in Triskelion, and Prince Stilinski takes everything in stride. He must have done his research beforehand so that he was prepared.

When he’s finished, Derek takes a shining silver ring from Finstock and gently slips it onto Prince Stilinski’s finger. “So I do swear,” he says, keeping his voice even and strong. Before he has a chance to pull his hands away, Prince Stilinski tightens his grip, squeezing gently in an almost reassuring way. When Derek looks up at him in surprise, his smile is radiant.

“Prince Mieczysław Klaus Stilinski,” Finstock booms, breaking whatever spell had Derek captivated, “Do you accept the hand of Prince Derek Sebastian Hale with the gods as witness? Do you promise to devote yourself and your time to him, vowing to remain loyal and true for as long as you shall both live? Do you vow to stand with him, sharing your elations and your woes as equals?”

These are the more familiar, more traditional vows that several of the kingdoms use. Because Prince Stilinski isn’t a werewolf, it only seemed appropriate to use these vows for him. But the rest of the ceremony is the same. With steady hands, he tries the ribbon around Derek’s wrist, his fingers lingering momentarily against his pulse point before moving to the other hand. The water is cool against Derek’s skin, a direct contrast to how hot Prince Stilinski’s fingers are. And then he’s slipping the silver ring onto Derek’s finger.

“With the gods as our witnesses, please kiss and finish this binding.” For a moment, Derek freezes. He had forgotten about the kiss. Luckily, Prince Stilinski seems more confident. Without hesitating, he steps forward into Derek’s space and reaches for his face. Cupping both hands carefully around his jaw, he closes his eyes and brings his lips down gently against Derek’s. As far as kisses go, it is soft and chaste, barely a brush of skin against skin. But still, warmth shoots down Derek’s spine, making his toes tingle with it.

The applause around them is boisterous and filled with joy. Laura steps toward them, smiling big. Only the people closest to her would notice how the smile isn’t quite genuine. “Thank you. We invite all of you to follow us to the ballroom for dinner and dancing to celebrate this occasion.”

With that she holds out her arm once more for John. They both smile as they make their way down the aisle. Derek watches them go for a moment, before he holds his own arm out for Prince Stilinski. “Shall we,” he asks. For the first time since he appeared at he great hall’s doors, the prince looks off balance. “I know a place where we can take a moment to breathe,” Derek offers. He enjoys the way that Prince Stilinski smiles at him, gratitude shining in his bright eyes.

“Then please, lead the way your Highness.”

Tucking their arms together, Derek leads them away from the stage. The applause is still overwhelming, echoing in Derek’s chest as they go. As soon as they exit the great hall, Derek takes a firmer grip on Prince Stilinski’s arm and pulls him down a small corridor leading away from the ballroom. Navigating through the manor is so easy that Derek could do it with his eyes closed if needed, and soon enough he’s tugging them into the library, shutting the doors carefully behind them.

Prince Stilinski looks around appreciatively before settling into one of the large chairs situated off to the side. Looking up at Derek, he smiles. “Hello.”

Absurdly, Derek can feel himself blush. “Hello.”

“I’m sorry that we didn’t have a chance to talk prior to the wedding.”

Shrugging gracelessly, Derek sits down across from him. “The King explained everything to my sister and I, so I understand why you wanted to wait.”

“You can just call him John, you know. The use of official titles is a little unnecessary now that we’re married, wouldn’t you agree?”

There’s something about that that has bothered Derek since he found out about the engagement. He clears his throat. “I don’t-. How do you pronounce your name?” His flush darkens. He can’t look Prince Stilinski in the eye. “I wanted to learn the correct pronunciation before the wedding, but, well, I don't even know if Finstock pronounced it right and-.” He trails off, partly because he doesn’t know how to continue his train of thought and partly because his companion has begun to laugh.

“Oh no, I’ll keep that monstrosity to myself thank you. Hearing it several times today was enough for a lifetime. Please, call me Stiles.”

Derek recalls John calling his son Stiles too, and tries the name out for himself, relieved when it’s much easier to say than his given name. “And you can call me Derek,” he says. “I don’t have a nickname or anything else, but it is a short enough name that-.”

Stiles laughs again, though it isn't a cruel sound. “Thank you, Derek.” His name in Stiles’ mouth sounds new and intimate in a way that makes Derek shiver. He wants to ask why Stiles wasn’t already married, wants to know why he picked Derek of all people. But he keeps those thoughts to himself. They have a reception to get to, after all. They shouldn’t keep the people waiting. “Come on,” he says, climbing out of his chair. “We should get to the reception before my sister sends her guards to come and find us.”

With his luck, Laura would send Erica after them. He can only imagine how that would go.

Reluctantly, Stiles gets to his feet. He seems to hesitate for a moment, the first since Derek has met him, before reaching out and carefully taking Derek’s hand. Warmth spreads from where their skin is pressed together up Derek’s arm. He’s sure that his blush has yet to fade, but at least Stiles looks a little red now too. “I know that we have a lot we need to discuss in terms of this marriage. But, maybe for tonight we can just enjoy the party?”

Derek hadn’t really thought about not enjoying the party, but now with Stiles holding his hand he wonders for the first time whether this marriage might actually work out. Deciding that he’s actually kind of looking forward to seeing where this is going to go, he adjusts their hands to thread their fingers together. Then, feeling brave for the first time all night, he brings Stiles’ hand up to his mouth and presses a gentle kiss against his knuckles.

“Let’s go enjoy our party,” he agrees, only pulling Stiles’ hand far enough away from his mouth that he can speak the words.

Stiles blinks at him, eyes wide and mouth parted. Then he grins, and it's brighter than the sun. “Lead the way.”

#sterek bingo 2020 #sterek fic #my writing #sterek arranged marriage #sterek royalty #prince derek #prince stiles #first meetings #royalty au #sbarrangedmarriage #sbwedding #sbmedieval

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vvolgarov · 3 years

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“The Killer is you”

Send “The Killer is you” to hear about the time my muse killed someone.

“Come on, son.” ” ... “ “You are aware of what to do next. You need to aim directly at their hyoid bone to obstruct their airway. Do not aim at the thyroid cartilage. I have thought you well to know the differences between the two.” Teachings on how to murder an individual haven’t been as entertaining as he would have imagined. He was aware that his family -- the nature of his parents and their respective species had involvement in killing people for the means to consume flesh and re-use the available healthy organs as a means for later use for their dishes. Their bodies have developed gene that has them consuming a taboo source of mean as a means to maintain a healthy body. To survive, to obtain necessary Vitamins that humans would not naturally obtain if performing cannibalism themselves. His mother was a more common consumer of the taboo meat; his father had a likeness for blood though he seemed to gradually show little interest towards it. Despite being a Dracula. Could he have found alternatives? Did his body gradually build up tolerance to adapt without the need of flesh and blood in his diet? Ludwig Von Erblindet never doubted that his son would inherit a particular gene that would have him bloodthirsty as often. Possibly as frequent as his mother, being aware of how genetically dominant ghouls are in comparison to a vampire. No matter if draculas’ genes are deemed genetically dominant -- They could not compare to what a ghoul is formed from. While he did want to make sure his son would adapt to the diet and educate him on how to capture a human to feed on them; he was more focused on educating Jay how to perform fatal injuries to murder the person immediately without having them suffer furthermore. Ludwig was more moral when It comes to feeding off a person. He hated the idea of having them suffer throughout the feeding or have them watch to be slowly murdered by the hands of a ghoul, choosing to find methods that would inflict instant deaths that would leave the target dead immediately. Hence his research regarding anatomy. Focusing on the bone structures and the nervous system, researching in detail on the most sensitive areas of a human and what is the percentage of fatality when a particular area is met with a specific tool. Part of his research involved his desire to make sure his son does not become a serial killer to continue a legend among humans. So that he does not obtain the high from mass murdering people; making the teachings as boring and agonizingly-repetitive as he could. Adapting his dangerous son into adjusting himself to the smell of blood, as not to get his adrenaline raised over the slight scent. “Do it, boy. You’re preached to your peers on how you’re going to kill someone with your old man. I’ve taken you out of that unnecessary class so you could get your opportunity to murder someone as soon as you can.” “I can’t do it.” “Do you feel that growing thrill? Does the thrill lead you to hesitate?” Jays’ hands would nervously shake whilst wielding a miniature steel axe. His serene gaze now exchanged with one that would display tension and anxiety, as the idea of killing someone by his hands began to trouble him. Unable to close his eyes as his father watched him from the side, with one hand resting against his shoulder in a firm grip. As though knowing his son was to chicken out; had he not been held by him. Unsure whether the grip was meant to be in a supportive manner, or to prevent him from fleeing. Watching the person in front of him be tied to a chair, entirely blindfolded and in no way capable of talking due to a taped up mouth. Lack of consciousness. His father clearly set this scenario up; as It was tradition for the noble parent(s) to obtain the first capture for their children. All he had to do is perform the kill as specifically instructed. The hyoid bone. Avoid the thyroid cartilage. The thyroid cartilage will have the target feel some fullness in their throat and cause an instant vomiting reaction If hit there. Just as how he learned from his father when learning the subject of the human anatomy. The two of them knew that this would not end in Jays’ want to reconsider and take days for a proper mental preparation. He was aware that his father would not shout at him nor grip his hair to coerce him into doing it. The disappointment in his fathers’ expression was alone a punishment on Its’ own. Soon he would raise his axe once again, raising it to the level as the exposed neck was held. Ropes occupying the body that was tied to the chair, with the head being carefully tied to have it lean backwards. Hence a more comfortable access to the neck. He would measure where exactly the hyoid bone resided, seeing at the corner of his eye as his patriarch nodded in confirmation that the location was correct. Jay dared to shyly look into his fathers’ green irises, displaying little emotion but there was visible intensity under them. They showed no reassurance; implying that this did not deserve encouragement. After all, this entire process was first degree murder. Planned, timed. His gaze was returned to the target. A male figure who happened to be average in build and height. Bald and fitted in casual attire, as though he came out from a fun night out. Colorful shirt with patterns of cartoony alligators and stained jeans with a hole in the right knee. Jay would bring the axe again to correct himself at the location of the bone, before taking a deep breath and refusing to exhale. Positioning his frame and shifting his hands to the side to have gravity provide him with acceleration to directly hit the throat -- and do so swiftly. With no hesitation. “You’re a true Erblindet now, Jayden.” Those are the words that rang in his ears after the sounds of bones fracturing together into a nothing; followed with some muscle tearing slowly before the impact was too unbearable and the layers teared swifter up until the neck opened up itself in half. A fatal hit that left the person dead instantly. The seventeen year old was able to exhale deeply after containing his breath prior. It felt as though some relief escaped his mind, the relief of his father finally releasing the disappointed gaze and showing a more neutral one. The process felt so suffocating, but relieving at his realization how he did not have to worry about this person struggling to function without a head. By the time he was able to process his dads’ words on how he was deemed a true Erblindet; Ludwig brought the young man into an embrace and held him firmly. In a reassuring manner. In the way that his father felt like his son will gradually develop some part of trauma by performing this kill. “Never hurt people in a manner that would be deemed a slow death.” “ ... Okay. “ “You’re going to be okay, Jay. You’re a good kid. You’ll get used to facing death when you grow older. You simply need to learn that It is not a game.” “ ... Understood, dad.”

#i-always-watch #long post #murder mentiion #gore (?)#cannibalism mention #blood mention

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desiraypark · 4 years

Text

When the Sun Sleeps in Canto Bight [8]

Previous Entire Series CHAPTER PLAYERS Kylo Ren, Leader of the Knights of Ren Ruby Girard Solo, The Beautiful Singer and Wife of Kylo Ren CHAPTER CONTENT Fluff and romance quickly turns to angst and annoyance. Mild sexism TW. Also, Kylo may have a newfound breast-related kink lol

Kylo and Ruby have been married for just over a year. They live in a stunning four-bedroom home in the vibrant heart of Canto Bight. Word Count: 1,780

Before Kylo stepped inside, the scent of Ruby’s cooking hit him in the nose and the sounds of jazz hit his ears. He walked inside and closed the door behind him, excited to see what was waiting. Ruby was in the dining room putting down plates of a pork chops, mashed potatoes, and green beans on the table with glasses of ginger ale. He leaned in the archway. “You tryin’ to get me to stay home tonight?” he asked. Ruby shrugged and walked to him.

“Maybe,” she said. She gave him a kiss on the lips, and they took their seats. Kylo went straight for his pork chop. “How was your day?” he asked.

“We recorded four songs today. I provided vocals for all of them. It was so much fun, baby.” Kylo nodded and took a sip of his ginger ale. “We’re going to introduce one of them at the Galaxy.” “That’s great, Babydoll.” Ruby knew that Kylo wasn’t going to detail his day with her, but she always asked anyway. “And what about you? How was your day?” He shrugged a shoulder. “It was alright. Usual shit.” She nodded and let the clink of their silverware fill the silence. Then, she dabbed her mouth with a napkin and smiled.

“I did a little shopping before I came home.” Kylo met her smile with his own. “Oh, yeah?” Kylo always encouraged her to spend his money up. And she did occasionally, only to buy stupid shit like appliances and cookware. For once, he wanted her to shimmy down their steps in a fur or some diamond rings. He always had to be the one to get those things for her, but he didn’t mind it. And neither did she, for that matter. It’s not that she didn’t like looking nice--quite the opposite--but why get a three-hundred credit coat, when you could get one nice coat, a waffle iron, and a nice radio from the Nears catalog for just over a hundred credits?! “What’d you get?” he asked. Ruby got up and disappeared into the kitchen. Then, she returned with a little bag and placed it in front of him. She beamed as she rested her hip against the dining table. “What is this, a pair of measuring spoons or somethin’?” he asked, moving the wrapping paper around. “Just open it, Kylo,” Ruby said with an eye roll. Kylo pulled out the smallest pair of shoes he’d ever seen in his life. Both shoes fit in just want one of his hands. He looked up at Ruby, then down at her belly. It protruded only a little. Then, he put the shoes down, pivoted to face her and pulled her down to his lap. Ruby giggled on her way down. “This ain’t no joke, is it?” he asked--eyes almost pleading. Ruby took his face in her hands. “No, it ain’t no joke.” He looked at the shoes and picked them up by the openings with his middle and index finger. “I’ll be damned.” He looked up at her again.

“I’m gonna be somebody’s Pop?”

Ruby laughed and nodded. “Yes, Kylo. You’re about to be somebody’s Pop.” She pushed her forehead against his, and he held her jaw, pulling her in for a kiss. “I’m losin’ my fuckin’ mind,” he said. Finally, he let out the heartiest laugh that ever fell upon Ruby’s ears. He pulled her close and kissed her once more, passing ever ounce of passion he had to her. And she received every bit of it. “Bedroom,” she mumbled. Kylo pushed the chair back and carried her through the dining room, and into the living room. He placed her on the couch. “I ain’t waitin’ that long.” They tore at each other’s clothes until they were both naked.

_____________________

LATER

Eventually, Kylo and Ruby finished up their cold dinner and bathed together. She ironed some fresh clothes for him--just a pair of pants and a shirt. Then, he’d leave her for a night of overseeing business at The Garden Lounge. “You sure you don’t wanna come, Babydoll?” He stepped into his warm pants. “I’m sure, Sweetie. I’m a little tired now,” she said, running the hot metal against his shirt. “Gosh, honey,” Ruby said, her mind having drifted away. “Everything is gonna happen so fast. I still haven’t talked to Finn and Poe. I’m not going to be able to perform for months.” “Months?” Kylo asked. He sat on the bed beside his jacket, undershirt, and socks. He grabbed the latter and slipped them over his feet. “Yeah. When I start to show, and then for a little while after the baby is born...”

She lifted Kylo’s shirt and looked it over. Kylo grabbed his undershirt and pulled it over his head. “You’re still gonna work after the baby’s born?” Ruby looked around the shirt at him. “Well, yeah, honey. Work doesn’t have to stop because we have a child.” She walked over to him and handed him the shirt.

“I just assumed that...”

She went to unplug the iron. “Assumed what?” She put the iron on her dresser and closed the ironing board. “I assumed you’d want to slow down on that life when we started havin’ kids,” he said, working on his shirt’s bottom button. “I don’t know why you made that assumption...” Ruby carried the ironing board out of the room and to their linen closet. Kylo drew in a deep breath, and released it. “I just think it’s better for a child if their mama is present. Wouldn’t you agree?” he asked. Ruby walked back toward the bedroom--her footsteps heavier than they were when she left. She stood in the doorway. “What makes you think I won’t be present? Both my parents worked and both of them were present, too.” Kylo buttoned the last button on his shirt.

“But you went to work with your mom,” he said. “You were always with her. At least, that’s what you told me. You can’t take a kid to a saloon.”

He reached down and grabbed the shiny black shoes that sat inches away from his feet. “Well, neither one of us can. But somehow you’ve decided that I’d be the only one taking our child anywhere...” Ruby said. She walked into the room and stopped to face him. “Besides, we have friends and family. I mean, Leia and Han are both dying to get their hands on some grandchildren. My parents, too...” “Leia and Han are dying to fix their fucking mistakes with grandchildren,” Kylo corrected. Ruby shook her head and marched to her dresser.

“Either way, Kylo. I’m not about to give up my career.” She began to wrap the cord of the iron. “And it sounds like you’re expecting me to be the only one taking care of our children, and that’s not gonna happen, either.” Kylo looked over his shoulder at her, then back down as he stuffed his foot into his shoe. Ruby continued. “We’re both gonna do the feeding, the changing, the burping--all of that shit.” “I didn’t say I wouldn’t do any of that.” He examined a small scuff mark on the toe of his shoe. “You implied it, though. You said it’s good for a child when their mama is present,” Ruby responded. She grabbed the rubber band she kept specifically for the iron cord and tied it around the bunched strands.

“I can’t take a child into a saloon. What about you? You work in a saloon. It’s good when a child’s daddy is present, too. But you didn’t say shit about yourself.” She slammed the iron down on the dresser.

Kylo sighed, stood up, and ran his fingers through his hair. “We’ll talk about this later.” “There’s nothing else to talk about,” Ruby said. She carried the iron out of the bedroom. “Enjoy the fucking lounge.”

“Hey, look!” Kylo shouted from the room. “We can fuckin’ talk about this later but don’t start fuckin’ cursin’ at me like I’m some fuckin’ asshole in the street or somethin’.” Ruby flew back into the bedroom.

“Shut up, Kylo.” She yanked her drawer open and pulled out her silk headscarf. “You curse at me all the fuckin’ time, and now you want to talk about language?” She slammed the drawer closed and started tying the scarf around her head. “I just fuckin’ curse. I don’t curse at you. So, calm those fuckin’ milk-filled tits of yours down,” Kylo shot back. Ruby tightened her scarf and glared at Kylo in the mirror. Her face softened and she laughed. Kylo shook his head, and started laughing, too. “That’s why you were squeezing them so hard, to see if milk would start coming out?!” Ruby asked. Kylo started walking toward her. “I couldn’t help myself, Doll...” He wrapped his arms around her and kissed her neck. “That’s weird, Baby,” she said. “I just wanted to see what would happen,” he mumbled into her neck. Then, he ran a circle around her belly with his right hand. Ruby stared at their reflections. “I don’t want my kid to be fucked up like me,” he whispered. “You’re not fucked up, Kylo,” she said. “And look, Sweetie...” Ruby turned her head to look up at Kylo. He looked down at her. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but can you go easy on your mom, please? She’s really trying to make things right with you.” Kylo averted her gaze and opted to look at their reflection. He added his second hand to her belly, then caught a glimpse of his scar. His eyes quickly fell down to Ruby’s belly; the silk nightgown she was wearing. He noticed the glow. She looked so radiant in his arms. He planted another kiss on her neck. “Get some rest, Babydoll...” He removed his hands, kissed her cheek, and grabbed his jacket. Then, he walked out of the bedroom, leaving Ruby to look upon her glowing reflection. Glowing, but suddenly singular. Kylo’s scent and the remnants of his touch quickly dissipated from her senses... ____________________ “Hey, Sheev. It’s Kylo...” Kylo held the phone to his ear as Vic sat on the other side of the desk, smoking a cigar. Kuruk sat on the sofa, doing the same. “Your offer is still on the table, right?” Kylo asked, the handset of his Western Electric suddenly feeling warm to his ear. “Good. I’d like to meet with you to discuss some details...” He rolled his eyes and nodded. “Yeah. I’m glad that you’re glad. But I want to come right out and mention the thing that’s suddenly got my interest. I hear you’ve got dealings with a few of the big recording companies. Any truth to that?” ____________________ TAG LIST @aloneandsleepless @tsarinastorm If you’d like to be tagged, leave a comment here, or on my official tag request post!

#when the sun sleeps in canto bight

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dearduende · 4 years

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DID

this all really happen? the way it’s written, no— scratched into the spiral bound, composition, college-ruled everything. each waking moment and fights and fears. and the dreams. including those crushes from afar with code names that I must piece together from hints over months and years, and then tracing back cryptic love notes tucked into lockers now pinned as if evidence pointing to the mens rea— the furtive phone calls in hushed tones from my bathroom as if my parents didn’t notice me flush and steal myself away from the dinner table and the nightly status reports. the secrecy (and the hormones) (and the embarrassment of my existence) (but mostly the hormones) blooming acne across my chin, my forehead, my nose within the grooves of its parentheses willing its contents—each pore—to shrink into an afterthought. I remember now how I had prayed to God to absolve my skin problems and to solve my boy ones. even bargained with Him in bed that I’d stop touching myself— or at least a bit less—as if these whiteheads were His chosen form of punishment. a dozen constellations across my shoulders from which my mother would weave the story of her same hidden shame, shared scars and bumps across our backs like labels in Braille of all the parts I want to hide, she promised: it’ll lessen and pass with time.

yet it still manages to haunt the next generation.

pull out the red string and the pins to map the evidence, the eye witness accounts, the threats and the retaliation and the heartache onto the faded bamboo floors of my parents’ house. the times I willed myself not to cry, stone woman as my mother avalanched again over the granite before me her voice booming and crumbling daring to swallow us. the way I stoically thrilled in the lust of our mutual destruction, first: the sticky salt of our wounds lashed by sharp tongues and second: the umami of it seared and grilled to perfection. still bleeding. medium rare. or when my father stampeded the room. seeing red. throwing a metal water bottle, denting it permanently against the wall then landing on the cold tile. how their swear words were only ever in English (that’s when I knew shit was serious) a rare violence uncondoned by both their mothers’ tongues.

I’m just realizing now: no wonder my brother and I, or I’ll just speak for myself, why I still burst into tears in the middle of their war zone, or whatever else might feel remotely like it. I now know instead of acting as an unsolicited diplomat caught in the crossfire it’s safer to seek asylum in the Switzerland of the next room, one ear still wired to their rising voices (I can’t help it) and their talking points, only to draft peace treaties for a civil war where they’ve long forgotten what it is they’re really fighting about anymore. but back then, this was the only way to snap them out of self-destruct mode by overriding their programming with the parental unit fail-safe. their child crying.

I could walk backwards through it with my eyes closed and show you exactly how the sun slants through the windows. how in late spring afternoon the crystals hanging in the dining room explode a universe of rainbows, little galaxies of light scattered among our dark matter, across the white walls and the floors and the crumbs on the pale table cloth. I could point out all the favorite sun spots of Tiger and Lily (may he rest in peace) and somehow always end up back at the grand piano. there is a tenderness only fingertips know.

dig out the mental blueprints from the archives. the different schools. the cliques and the quacks. the start of another year. short shorts and sweaters. (refer to your diaryjournals for the details).

and then another new journal. how they all somehow begin with the just-after-waking subtle scent of short stories germinating in my mind. they seem to disappear just before I can finish transcribing them and then I’m left empty handed, dumfounded, foolish and doubting and then writing the only kinds of stories I do know, the ones I’m still learning to place in the light sprouting tender roots between sheets of paper, pressed tightly like all those flower petals— if only I could preserve their bright pigment tones. but even imagination fades. and seemingly so do memories. these spines loosely bound and knees and elbows now cracked, scuffed, and crinkled. just a bit creased and water damaged. over the years. but mostly tears—watermarks from another era. once, an errant sprinkler jet from the lawn tap tap tapped against my bedroom window just barely cracked open, as fate would have it. waterlogged stacks of books my pillars now pink and black and blue with mold and flooded the bamboo floors. trying to put out the wrong fires a decade too late, or maybe the right fires as in the written ones, to destroy the evidence. I now keep them sealed in a plastic box.

I plead the fifth. there must be some limit after all these years, when it’s way too late to apologize anyway— I’ve considered, and then talked myself down, from texting or DMing all the people I have wronged. and memory serves no one now. if my handwriting has changed at least a dozen times does that mean I’ve lived a dozen different lives? the Hubba Bubba gum tape chewing preteen blowing bubbles over every i and j and under each ! and then there’s the jagged purple glitter pen cursive as if going slower helps it turn out better— one of those things you realize later in life isn’t always true. there’s the one seemingly always in a rush, skinny and slanted and caffeinated (there are coffee spill stains to prove) always as if she’s just about to topple over. breathe, I want to tell her, no need to move so fast. you will concuss yourself doing so. and two weeks later also topple down the stairs. (both true stories.) life will force you to slow down. I almost forget the one more rounded and grounded printed in ballpoint extra fine so as not to bleed but what’s the cost of living for the sake of perfection? what even is my handwriting now? I had to dig out one of my scrap paper lists to figure out how its a blend, less measured and more movement without being driven purely by entropy.

loosely held together.

and now, how often do I write, like with pen and paper the letters carved and inked their ghosts passing through the walls between pages bumping up against other memories. these lives and voices call out to me across the decades, some more familiar than others almost like specimens in a museum glass box too fragile for the dust or the humidity or the air or the light of day. I’m an archeologist glowing at her simple discovery which really just involves showing up onsite and digging and dusting and continued search over and over into the pits of my being delicately brushing away at the dirt around my bones, the silt and sediment compressing into a cross section of history held in my hand. look! here it is.

so I write again, if only for this moment to leave my future self some clues (in no particular order): the return of my freckles. Craigslist apartment daydreams. I’m building my callouses learning a new landscape of metal strings and broken chords. say a little prayer. tonight, I made choong yao bang from scratch with Mom. I’ve been staying up way too late (it’s 4:35am right now... why?) and then falling asleep to ASMR videos (specifically, Emma). Mom and Dad are actually not fighting much these days despite spending all day under the same roof (find your Google doc, love in the time of quarantine).

my younger self might not even recognize these people inhabiting our same house.

Mom and Dad are both still here. and I’m trying not to take it all for granted, I promise. we’re together for now but he’s gone again (eerily, much like 10 years ago but this time on his own terms) or at least he’s far away, who knows, who’s to say. we’re giving him time and space. and we’re learning how to hold each other while we fall apart, sometimes all at the same time. usually in different ways.

how I’m scared and excited for my life to unfurl one leaf at a time. allowing myself the gift, the anticipation, the surprise, and then counting the splits.

reach for the sunlight, keep reaching.

and I still don’t know what I wanna be when I grow up but when have I ever had it all figured out and what fun is that.

and a note to my younger self: PS—not only will you continue to write for emotional release (reference my pure bewilderment of this cathartic power in diaryjournal dated February 10, 2007) you will also connect with other humans in your words and we’ll play in our world and revel in theirs too. keep writing, for yourself. and dare to share it with others.

gather what others refer to as the weeds, make a bouquet, blow and scatter the dandelion seeds.

#writing #poetry #poem #words #poets on tumblr #new poets society #spilled ink #spilled poetry #reflection #i found old journals #late night writings #late night poetry #4am #spilled thoughts #poets corner #written by me #writing about writing

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rainymcrnings-blog · 5 years

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hey hi hello! you can call me peach, and I’m here with this beautiful soul archer! I’ll have a better bio for him in a few days but for now, have some skeleton bio points and some possible plots/connections!

luka sabbat. twenty-three cismale. he/him. paramore | i can’t believe i just saw ARCHER CALLOWAY walking out of cadence records. they’re the LEAD GUITARIST from the PUNK POP group INCARNADINE who have been in the industry for TWO YEARS. the tabloids love to focus on their OVERWROUGHT nature , but they’re also pretty GOOD NATURED and they seem to give off a vibe that reminds people of SWIMMING IN A LAKE, LEATHER SCENTED CANDLES, VINTAGE CASSETTE TAPES, COLD BREW COFFEE | . Peach, 19, est, she/he

• he grew up in New England, more specifically Maine, in a fairly large town surrounded by coastal shops and large lakes that Archer spent most of his childhood in

• archer always loved music, his parents would say he started writing music before he could talk but it was his guitar teacher in eighth grade that really encouraged him to go out for auditions and play in his local bookstores and the coffee shop where he worked as a barista during the space between after he graduated high school, and while he was contemplating college

• still will have to work out the details of how the band ‘formed’ with the other members but here’s a quick and dirty on how he got signed with cadence records)

• someone recorded one of his acoustic sessions singing an original song, and posted it on twitter, insta, the like. long story short, it blew up immensely, and he had a spokesperson from cadence in his dms and booking him on the first flight out to la

• he didn’t find it hard, to leave his family and everything he knew, as he knew he would leave one day or another

• even so, he still has a strong relationship with his family back home and will face time his mother at least once a week

• i’ll do more in his actual bio, but after his band finished their first large tour, and the album release was a success, he bought a house and a dog

- for reference his dog’s name is Kahlua and she’s a redbone coonhound aka the love of his fucking life bc in his words ‘shes baby’

- he loves vintage shopping and buying big oversized sweatshirts that are from disney or somethin 25 years ago

- he hates being ‘’famous’’’ for the fact, that he literally can’t do anything outside of his house so he’s literally like leo decaprio when he goes outside and gets met with fans/media attention

- and despite his mother’s best interests the boy can’t cook for shit, so he usually orders take out or those premade meals you hear about on podcasts ads, bc he literally will burn water

-he does not give one single fuck about gender expectations and he will happily wear glittery highlights on stage with his female bandmates

- in general, he’s just a very high-strung person, always moving from one project to the next be it painting or writing a new song etc, and moving from city to city on a tour oft makes him very stressed out and Not Well

-anyways this is prob far too long as it it, so here are some (really) wanted connections and plot ideas lol

WANTED CONNECTIONS/PLOTS BAYBEE !!

-this is honestly just me rattling off ideas, but if you have something else you can really see archer working as, totally come talk to me!

best friends -literally give me goofball, sending memes to each other, texting all the time best friends. we can work out details, but archer would feel very strong and protective over these people in his life

long-time best friend - this would be someone who met archer when he was fresh off the plane from maine when he was 18/19 and immediately hit it off with, he would still be probably very close with this person, considering they’re in the same type of work and he very likely invites them over for calzones and the office every other weekend

fwb - someone he meets at an industry event, etc and (obviously) hooks up with on more than one occasion

ex partners - give me all the ex plots please omg (angsty exs/on bad terms, on good terms/mutual breakup, “i still have feelings towards you” type of ex, etc)

only in the papers - fake relationship/ PR relationship, archer is saddled into a relationship with this person by his manager for the sole purpose of to have someone under his arm for red carpet movie premieres and nightclub after parties. we can totally plot out how they feel about each other (ex: hate each other, goofy best friends off camera, tense feelings that lead into something more, etc)

wild things - this would be archers party pal, someone who he gets absolutely shit faced with at bars/nightclubs/ at his house. this is the person who he texts on a friday night, also someone he probably gets high with lmao. presumably, also someone who posts terrible pictures of him while he’s drunk and vice versa

the ‘oh shit you’re supposed to be my worst nightmare according to the press , and you’ve called me out on twitter, but we’re actually hooking up on the side’ plot

someone who snubbed his band for an award way back when and now he just lowkey hates them and will do anything to avoid them

some mutual guy friend who he always goes to abt girl issues and fashion advice for red carpets lmao

honestly he’s just a big soft boy who will eat mac n cheese in his spiderman pj pants instead of going to his own album premiere lol

#cadence.intro #hi ! please come plot if you want and bless y'all for reading this far!

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fatesluck · 5 years

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not like the movies.

SETTING / PRIMRODIAL AUTO CLUB AND MC CLUB HOUSE. EVENT / PRIMORDIAL MOTORCYCLE CLUB 40TH ANNIVERSARY PARTY. TRIGGER WARNINGS / SHOOTING, GUN VIOLENCE, BLOOD, INJURY, HOSPITALS.

The noise is like the drumming of thunder, loud and unable to be seen. It’s quick, unlike anything, and this is what makes Oliver believe those sayings that go — It was as fast as a bullet!

Guilt had been eating him alive these last couple of weeks, he started to feel like one of those sad dead animals on the side of the road that crows had gotten to before anyone else could. Maybe it’s what he deserved after everything, after taking witness to so much cruelty. It was only a matter of time before Lady Luck ripped him from her grasp and tossed him to the wolves.

Blue eyes go wide, a newfound sense of nerves plowing through him. He was staring into the face of the person he’s known the longest, spewing harsh sentiments that might be the one thing that breaks them. Andrew Thane had always been Oliver’s constant, a kind of soulmate that would always point him to home. But now here he stood, his anger towards him spewing like a running faucet, but being cut off by the sound of bullets. His body reacts before his mind could, sprinting out the door and into the scene of madness. Everything becomes a little hazed after that, as if someone had once again placed a hand over his eyes and he were only allowed to look through the cracks of their fingers. This was an ongoing thing nowadays. The screams are deafening, and the silence that follows is strange and absurd. It’s nothing like the movies, that’s what Oliver thinks. Perhaps the movies turn a gun, a tragic thing, into something seemingly romantic and wonderfully catastrophic. This was something else. Terrifying might be the word, but Oliver believes that might also be an understatement.

More gunshots go off and Oliver remains standing like some dumb little kid searching for his mother at the grocery store. He thinks this might be what people say when they’re in shock. His eyes go wild, scanning the entire room in search for someone. He’s not sure who until it hits him like a pile of bricks. He looks for Ramina. The fear and guilt, though nothing new, coils harshly in his gut, knowing he brought her there. He brought her there to have a good time and eat sandwiches, to mingle and have a good time. Maybe even make a good, long lasting impression so Oliver could keep bringing her to these things. Over and over and over. It’s the sound of glass breaking that sends him plummeting back to Earth. He groans, which was much better than unleashing the fear fueled scream that’s perched just under his chin. He looks to the source, and then it happens. A bullet comes flying towards him. Once again, it’s not like in the movies. Oliver doesn’t see it in slow motion, it doesn’t come at a sluggish speed where he can see every glistening detail of the bullet that’s just missed him, maybe even his reflection on the surface of it. It’s fast and harsh, grazing the side of his head in one fatal move. If he wasn’t in shock before, he certainly was now. A sharp intake of air comes from him, his throat feeling absurdly dry in the moment. Ramina was still nowhere in sight, and there’s a metallic smell in the air. He knows the scent all too well by now, usually it was easy to brush it off as just another order of club business. Now it’s corrupted, oozing a sort of inevitable doom that he knew there was no going back from.

By some quick and unscathed impulse, Oliver reaches for the gun that’s nestled just within the back of his pants, tucked away by his shirt. He raises it before his face, shooting back quickly and without a single hint of hesitance. He can’t be sure where the bullets go, as he aims towards the front and is careful not to hit one of his own. But it’s really a shot in the dark, no pun intended.

Then it happens again. It’s harder this time, the worst damn pain he’s ever fucking felt. A bullet shoots right into his shoulder and Oliver clambers to the ground with a loud thump. He cries out in pain, one hand shakily reaching up to press at his shoulder as it begins to bleed at a furious rate. His eyes remain wide, staring before him like he’d just seen the most frightening monster in the world. Every single inch of him is trembling, barely there whimpers sounding in his throat at the pain of a gunshot wound. This is nothing like the movies, Oliver thinks again, this is nothing like the movies.

Suddenly, he’s not sure why the image of Andy swinging on a swing-set flashes through his mind. Oliver pictures his wide, youthful smile, calling out for Oliver happily as he jumps off and into the sand. He pictures the belly laughter that sounded from him when Andy landed right on his ass a couple times, sand and mulch covering his pants. He looks down, expecting to see his smaller self come into view, but it never comes. It’s a blood stained shirt, and a blood soaked arm. Had he really been bleeding that much? Another quiet whimper-like groan comes from him, his thoughts running rampant but his body staying still. Why couldn’t he move? Why wasn’t he fucking moving?

By now, he pictures his parents and Lettie having to find him with one of those white bed sheet looking cloths over his body, that becomes inevitably stained red due to the gunshot wound to his shoulder. That was a little like the movies, a sea of bodies still waiting to be discovered and mourned, Oliver among them like some hopeless thing. That’s when he realizes he’s crying, still frozen and pressing weakly to the bleeding hole that’s ripped through his shoulder. He’s not sure why he could picture Lettie released a deafening wail, dropping to her knees and clutching her chest in her hands. Maybe someone had screamed, cried so loud it dampened the sound of bullets and got right into his head. He pictures his mother doing the same, mirroring Lettie’s actions exactly, probably because his brain couldn’t properly put together two specifically detailed scenarios of devastation. His father, though, came to him in this dreamlike haze holding his face in his hand, a manly sort cry surging through him, the kind where you can’t see tears but the way their belly rises and falls is a clear indicator.

Oliver isn’t sure, once again, when the paramedics arrive. But someone is squeezing at his shoulder, muttering something incoherent. He yells out loudly in distress at the sudden pressure, the pain more than unbearable. They say something to him now, and Oliver can’t comprehend it. He tries to stand, but they push him down. Then they’re moving. Why the fuck were they moving? The sky above him moves too fast, it makes him want to become sick at the sight of it. He was dizzy. The sun is close to setting for the day, he can tell, as the party had been in the midst of really kicking off, but the air was still humid. That beginning of Summer kind of humid. It makes Oliver’s hands feel somewhat clammy, though he was foolish to blame it on the humidity. He had just been shot.

“Sir, it’s okay, stay with us. You’ve been shot.” It’s then Oliver notices how damn weak he’s become, his hands trembling violently. He tries to breathe, going through the breathing routine his therapist had showed him, but his breaths come slow and jagged. “He’s lost about two pints!” With that, Oliver sits back, now being loaded into the ambulance. The people around him spew phrases and words he’s never heard before, things he can’t fully comprehend. They stay close to him, still pressing down on his wound. It was still bleeding, his arm and chest all covered in his own blood. For a moment, he looks down at his hands, stained red and trembling. There couldn’t have been anything worse than this. Even when he was lying in another hospital bed, doctors telling him there was something wrong with his brain. In truth, maybe it was all the same. The feeling, the pain. Maybe that’s why he weakly begins to cry again, hot tears streaming down his cheeks and down his chin. He hadn’t realized there was blood at the side of his head too, right where that first bullet had grazed him. It runs down the side of his face, colliding hopelessly with the tears that fall there too.

This was nothing like the fucking movies. Oliver didn’t turn his head and see a lover, clinging to him as they whisper reassuring sentiments in his ear, silently begging the heavens that he makes it out alive because they love him. The sky wasn’t crying like it did on the big screen, an ode to the dramatic nature of it all. It was just hot, filled with middle of June stickiness. He was terribly alone, with a paramedic, someone else who he’s sure also has an important role here, and an ambulance driver who needed a fucking raise. That had to be hard work. Oliver would crash under pressure.

Luck had certainly slipped him now.

FIVE HOURS LATER.

His mouth opens, lips dry and coarse, his throat feeling like sandpaper. There’s a dull ache in his arm, his head feeling heavy like concrete, his entire body just the same. Oliver wants to cry but he doesn’t, despite the way his lip quivers. He was on the brink of it, though. He had been cleaned up but there was still blood under his fingernails. He was still shaking too, despite being high off of what he can only assume are pain medications and whatever’s dripping into his arm.

Before his thoughts could wander some more, a doctor arrives. He’s average height, grey all over, and aged with grace. But he had kind brown eyes, shielded by a pair of thin wire frame glasses that you could have missed entirely if you didn’t look hard enough. “Good to see you’re awake.” Oliver’s doctor says with a gentle smile, holding a clipboard. Like they do in the movies. An exhale of air comes from Oliver. He wanted to speak, but nothing comes out. “You lost a lot of blood, son. But the bullet to your shoulder didn’t hit any nerves, tissue, or arteries. We had to remove a few bullet fragments from your shoulder but other than that, you’re gonna be alright.” Oliver just nods now, not sure what he’s supposed to say now.

“Is there anyone you’d like us to call?” The doctor asks, head canting to the side. “My — My parents.” Oliver finally responds, his voice coming out shakier and hoarser than he anticipated. He turns to his side and spots a cup of water on the table beside him and he carefully takes it, groaning a little while doing so. “You should rest. I’ll send in a nurse to get the phone numbers. It might be best to change your emergency contact to them. We tried reaching the one you have currently but we couldn’t reach them.” Andy. Fuck. Oliver feels like he’s about to panic, but he was too high and in pain to even begin. So he lies back, head resting on the pillow beneath him. Tears swell up in his eyes instead. There was nothing he could do now.

His doctor goes to leave now, but not before turning back to him. He smiles a little, “You got very lucky, Oliver. Get some rest.” Then he’s gone. Oliver laughs lightly, tears running down his face.

Oliver Stone, one lucky fucking bastard.

#my story is seldom told | drabble.#drabble | 002.#WELL.............................

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cutiecrates · 5 years

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Cutie Reviews: Tokyo Treat May 19

Hello, welcome to our next review :3 today we’ll be looking at the May Tokyo Treat. I’m going to point out now that i was a little disgruntled by some details in this specific box- but I will still fairly access everything as usual.

(You probably recognize the DIY item there, I won’t be reviewing it because I already have, and have gotten it numerous times since <_<)

“We’re so excited for you to try this month’s mixture of snacks. Doesn’t the crisp air and budding springtime flowers make you just want to devour some juicy fruit and enjoy their sweet flavors? You’re in luck, because this month we’ve got some yummy fruity flavors in a variety of sweet treats! We’ve also got some delicious savory snacks in store for you! Are you ready? We can’t wait for you to enjoy this months Tutti Fruity box!“

Lucky Treat

This month, the Lucky Treat is full of adorable Rilakkuma goods ranging from cuddly to practical school and kitchen items, many of which feature Rilakkuma hanging out with his friends and visiting various places.

May Prize

Meanwhile, the contest is all about Gudetama, featuring two plush for the grand prize winner, and Gudetama cookies for the runner-ups.

--------

Fanta Banana Yogurt Mix

Our first item (see pic on top) is the Banana Yogurt Fanta we were supposed to get in the previous box, but due to the “exciting release“ of the Sakura-flavored cola, it was pushed back to this box. Which isn’t bad since it still fits with the theme of this box. Made from healthy banana and nutrients, this is a carbonated drink at only 34kcal, making it a great choice for those seeking less-calorie intake.

Rating: ♥

Honestly I didn’t even want to give it that heart. I’ve said this several times but I’ll say it again if you might be new, I don’t like bananas, and I especially HATE the taste of artificial banana! I tasted no sort of creamy yogurtness or vanilla or anything else except banana. My parents loved the drink meanwhile, so I let them share it.

BUT in saying that, if you like bananas/artificial banana, you will probably really like this. Even though I disliked it, I never spit out the portion I tried and didn’t think I would throw up (like that takoyaki nightmare from a few boxes ago). So it earned 1 heart for at least not making me hate bananas even more.

Caramel Corn Puffs

I decided to start with this because I’ve had it numerous times and didn’t feel like I needed to entirely review it. The Tohato Caramel Corn is a popular brand that we’ve encountered many times, not only in the original/regular flavor, but in a variety of others.

This time we are receiving the original in “share pack“ form, each bag/10 grams being 56kcal.

These are delicious, lightly crisp caramel-flavored puffs. They are pretty sweet though so unless you have a sweet-tooth, you might find them cloying after a while. They make all sorts of unique sweet flavors, from fruity to desserts like tiramisu and ice cream. I would recommend them and they’re pretty easy to find online.

Curry-flavor Crispy Flakes & Salt and Wasabi Chips

Another item I won’t really be reviewing are these little ramen noodle crispy flakes flavored after curry. Besides snacking on them, they can also be used to top udon or other noodle dishes.

I’m not reviewing this because this is also another item I’ve had a few times- but in comparison to caramel corn, I don’t actually like this one. They have a nice crunchiness and the flavor is strong, but that was why I didn’t like them, I wasn’t into the flavor. This was another item I gave my mom.

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Meanwhile, we also have a bag of salt and wasabi chips by Calbee. Now, originally we were supposed to get the Pizza Mayo Mentaiko flavored chips, but due to regulations in meat substances being shipped, it had to be replaced last-second, so we either got the Wasabi chips or the lightly salted.

I was a little disappointed by the change, but at least they were giving us another Calbee brand chip to replace it. These chips (which I have no info on due to the late change not reflected in the book) have a total of 305kcal per-bag.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

I usually love these chips, but this one I was a little mixed with opinions because I only like wasabi in extremely small doses sometimes. The flavor is pretty strong and bold, and they get spicy the more you eat, and if you love wasabi I’m sure you would really like these. I can’t say they’re my favorite of the brand, but the crunch is great and they still taste good. You also get a lot of foldy chips (the ones that resemble fortune cookies or wontons), which are my favorites~

Also, I discovered they go good with cream cheese :P my favorite sushi is a Philadelphia roll, which is what gave me the idea to try it.

Matcha Chocolate Corn Puffs & Strawberry Rusk

Following those are two more items I have tried before- so I won’t be reviewing them either (I’m sorry but I don’t see the point in writing the same thing, and essentially I’m still reviewing the item...). First are the Matcha Chocolate puffs by Ginbis, a brand known for their delicious star-shaped corn puffs with chocolate baked into them. This specific flavor is a limited edition, so it’s not always available. Each bag is 321kcal.

So... this is pretty much like the banana drink. I hate green tea and these have no sweetness at all. But the texture is a smooth crispiness which I do like, so I usually like this brands products. If you like green tea you’ll probably love these.

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Our other item is a strawberry chocolate coated rusk (rusk are baked bread pieces coated in glaze and/or sugar) from Ginza Rusk. These are sweet little biscuits embedded entirely with the strawberry flavor, and each pack is 208kcal; something I find a little unappealing about them when you compare the amount to some of the other items <3<

They’re a light crunch and taste pretty good, but I’m usually not a big fan of these rusk snacks. This one I found more tolerable then usual though; maybe they’re starting to grow on me.

Chobo Chobo Cookies & Sakura Japanese Sake KitKat.

These little baked, puffy cookies are made from a traditional recipe and are known for melting in ones mouth. Their bags feature all sorts of adorable little character variations, and each bag is 62kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥

I don’t know what they put in these but they aren’t my most favorite thing. They remind me a lot of something I don’t like, but I haven’t had said thing in a really long time so I don’t remember what it was...

All things considered they do melt in your mouth though.

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Next is another unique KitKat, featuring the fresh sakura (cherries) and Japanese sake (alcohol). These are limited edition and out in time to celebrate Hanami (cherry blossom viewing). You get 12 mini-sets per usual, and each one is 63kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

They have a lovely pink color (its my favorite shade in fact) and as soon as you eat them you taste the sake and a perfumey cherry- it reminds me of a fresh powdery bath product from Avon. But as strange as that is, I actually kinda like it. I’m not sure if they put alcohol in these, but I’m assuming they might soak the wafer in it or something.

New Mochitaro Puffs & Sugar Rusk Umaibo

These are our last crunchy snacks presented in this months box. First is the Mochitaro Puffs, which are small, bite-sized crispy snacks. I couldn’t find the calories on this, and these are basic salted.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

There isn’t too much flavor in these compared to the other snacks in the box, but the saltiness is noticeable, without being too intense. I kind of like how they aren’t as bold as the other snacks though, it’s a nice change of pace. They sort of remind me of the regular/plain Bugles.

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We also have our monthly Umaibo; this time in a sweet sugary rusk flavor. It has a buttery sweetness in scent, and each stick is 43kcal. If you’re interested in trying Umaibo, they’re super-easy to find online; I’d recommend them but they can become Addictive!

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

In terms of favorites, it doesn’t make my top 3- but it would probably make my top 10. It’s really good, it reminds me of buttery pretzel sticks, I would recommend it if you want something crispy and sweet.

Strawberry Lollipop & Strawberry Mochi

I love strawberries, so I was overall happy to see a few strawberry items in this box- even if I’m not hugely into rusk. First up we have a basic strawberry lollipop with a Hello Kitty package. There are multiple packages, each with a cute little game on the back, like for example mine has a “find the matching flower“ game. Each lollipop is 22.8kcal.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Tastes like typical Japanese strawberry candy, which is a little different than American strawberry candy in most cases. It’s not a realistic flavor, but I really like it. I swear I get a little hint of watermelon or peach in it too.

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Our next item is an actual Mochi :3 these are very rare in this box, I can’t recall if we ever had t before or not... but I do like mochi. It’s become pretty popular where I live as of late, especially ice cream ones, but I think I prefer the basic snacking ones more.

With this little pack you get two, adorable baby mochi~ I couldn’t find calories on them either. But as you can see in the pick, each one has a marshmallow-like inside with strawberry cream or jelly in the middle.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Dissecting it, you don’t get much flavor or taste but its very soft, and just a little sweet. They’re also fun to squeeze and play with, and when you eat it entirely (careful so you don’t choke though >x<) you get a bit of flavor. I can’t say I strongly taste anything but I like it.

Cherry Mochi

If you’ve read my blog before then you might recognize this, this is an alternate Mochi treat and we have had these before- these ones are cherry flavored, and last time they were soda. These are by the brand Kyoshin. I couldn’t find calories.

Rating: ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

Besides the cute and unique packaging, these also taste good. They’re very different from the other mochi, in that they’re little chewy candies. They taste like normal cherry-flavored candy.

♥ Cutie Ranking ♥

Content - 5 out of 5. Everything held up and it was all plenty tasty, with the exception of a few items I didn’t really like, but I know catered to those of you who do like the taste would love the items. Nothing tasted stale or old.

Quality - 2 out of 5. I was severely disappointed, not in the quality of the items but the box itself for being extremely repetitive; half of the box had repetitive items, the theme was very repetitive, and the DIY kit was disgracefully repetitive...

Theme - 3 out of 5. A good portion of the box was fairly fruity in going with the theme, and I believe if you’re going to do a theme you should stick with it, and I noticed that the Classic edition of the box caters more towards the theme than the Premium, but this time I thought it was decent. However, as I said above it was pretty repetitive, so I can’t say I enjoyed the theme.

Total Rank: 5 out of 10. Not counting my preference in flavors, I feel like the items were great. Nothing was stale for having sat around a few months (which is a problem sometimes), no quality problems in terms of item damage or issues, but the fruity theme didn’t appeal to me at all because I feel like the box only half-tried in following it, and there was a lot of repetition. I even wanted to justify the DIY but you honestly can’t at this point. I think this is the 3rd time I’ve gotten it recently, and several kits have fruity tastes or themes, there was no excuse for them to give this same DIY kit to us this soon. They quit with the health snacks and everything else that made this box unique and fun, I don’t understand why obtaining equally priced DIY is suddenly so hard.

♥ Cutie’s Scale of Yummy ♥

I’m not doing it this time, I’m kind of in a bad mood now that I wrote that <3< sorry.

#cutie reviews #tokyotreat #umaibo #tohato #asian kitkats #mochi

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jinterlude · 5 years

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To The One Who's Irreplaceable:

» gif credits: Stop It MV

↳ Pairing(s): Choi Junhong x Reader (Female OC)

↳ Genre(s): High School!AU, To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before!AU, Romance, Humor, First Love Trope, & Fluff

↳ Warning(s)/Rating: Swearing / PG-13

↳ Words: 3K

↳ Summary: 5 letters. That’s all you have ever written throughout your life…well…your life as a high school student. 5 different fellas came into your life and has made a memorable impact in your heart that you honestly needed to unleash those feelings. So, you grab a pen, some paper, and envelopes and simply write. You write how it is because of them that you experience that love comes in different forms. Some noticeable and some you need to take a magnifying glass to. You’re honestly and truly thankful towards them, and the best part is that they will never know about your hidden feelings…right?

« Last Letter | Next Letter »

Your eyes focus on every single letter, hanging on to each emotion that you have poured into it. A faint smile slowly makes an appearance as you reach a memorable moment. It’s the day you’ve first met him. Well. Actually. More like when he crashed into you, and you gave him quite an earful.

You can’t help but chuckle as you recall how pissed off you were that day…

Strolling along the sidewalk, you feed off the warmth that the sun radiates on this fine Spring morning. A cool, relaxing breeze fans your face as you close your eyes, drinking in the peaceful atmosphere. You inhale the natural scent from what Mother Nature has to offer to the world. As you exhale, your eyes flutter open. Then, they grow wide. A look a panic washes over your once tranquil appearance as you see this lanky teen skateboard towards you. You notice how he’s rapidly waving his arms, shouting something that you can barely make out.

Just as you open your mouth to see if he needs help, his body collides right into yours. You question why you didn’t move out of the way as every single part of your body aches. Seriously. How the Hell can a boy, appearing to be around your age, maybe older, be able to cause an incredible amount of pain? Your body feels like a truck just hit you. That’s how bad it is.

Well. A slight exaggeration, but it’s still painful.

A faint groan leaves your lips. You struggle to get back up – well at least into the sitting position – when you still feel the weight from this idiotic fool.

To say you’re agitated is an understatement. You want to grab his skateboard and break it over his head.

Well…there goes your peaceful, stress free morning.

“What is your fucking problem?!”

The equally injured teen scoffs at your words, “Mine? You’re the idiot that didn’t move out of my way!”

“I shouldn’t have to move out of the way when you’re obviously skateboarding on the wrong side of the sidewalk, you dumb ass!” You shout as you roughly push him off you. You stand up, dusting off the skirt of your uniform.

The stranger looks at your uniform, though angered eyes, and finds it amusing that him, being a new student to this city, manages to collide into a person that so happens to be a student at the same school.

Talk about fate.

He eventually stands up, dusting off his uniform slacks, and grabs his skateboard that’s surprisingly in one piece. He then extends his hand, smiling brightly.

“We got off the wrong foot,” His warm gaze pierces your cold ones, “I’m Choi Junhong, and I just moved here last month.” He introduces, patiently waiting for you to shake his hand.

You raise your brow, still obviously annoyed with him. However, your parents have always said that it takes a bigger person to forgive. So…that’s what you do…

You extend your hand, forcing a smile, and wrap it around his. The second your hands come into contact, you feel this jolt of electricity but choose to ignore it. You’ve just met this fella. There’s no way you can be physically attracted to him.

Right?

“I’m L/N Y/N. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” You say; your eyes soften just a bit. No longer feeling agitated with the lanky teen.

Junhong’s smiles widen, “So…I’m guessing you go to the School of Performing Arts judging by your uniform.”

Your eyes flicker downwards, looking at your uniform. Then, it clicks. Junhong also dawns the same color scheme on his uniform.

Perfect.

“And I’m guessing that you’re the new student that everyone’s talking about.”

“People talked about me? Damn. I didn’t think I made quite the impression and I haven’t done anything yet.”

“Careful. Your ego might grow in size if you keep dwelling on it.”

An airy chuckles leaves his lips. You got sass. He personally likes it when a girl can clap back.

He then walks over to you, standing right next to you, before throwing a friendly arm over your shoulder.

“I have a feeling you and I are going to get along swimmingly.”

“Oh joy…”

Your words from that eventful day echoes throughout your mind. You can’t help but shake your head as you find it hard to believe that you and Junhong became the best of friends a few days later. Everything that you do, he’s there to experience it with you. When you’re going through your many crushes, he’s there to concoct the “perfect” plan to gain their attention.

Some have worked. And some…not so much…

“I’m telling you, you annoying prepubescent person, I’m not kissing you in order to get Mark Tuan jealous.” You tell your obnoxious best friend, Junhong, for the millionth time. All you want to do is study in peace. Is that too much to ask for?

Junhong rolls his eyes before giving you look that says, “What’s the harm in kissing me?” Sure, it kills him whenever he helps you with whoever is your crush of the month, but if you’re happy, then that’s all that matters to him. Though, he wants you to be happy with him but minor details.

Noticing that your nose is buried deep inside your notebook, he shoots out his hand and snatches it away, ignoring your demands and profanities. He then tosses it over his shoulder and leans forward. Your noses practically bump into each other. You can feel the warmth of his breath fan your cheeks. If they aren’t red from the heat, then they surely are now. Lately, you have been feeling a bit odd around Junhong. He’s been preoccupying your thoughts every single day. He’s the first thing you think of when you awake, and the last thing you think of before you slumber.

What’s is your best friend doing to you? You can’t have feelings for him or else you’ll be fulfilling that cliché. However, everything that you two do is one giant romantic cliché.

And that’s why you can’t allow yourself to date him.

All romantic clichés end with a broken heart. You rather be his friend than lose him for good.

So that’s how it will always be. Just friends.

“Can you back up?” You ask, pressing your hands against his firm chest. “Damn…when did he start working out?” You think as your eyes widen.

Junhong raises a brow. An interesting gleam enters his eyes. Then, a smirk soon forms as he slowly enjoys the fact that you’re admiring his newly formed muscles. He silently praises himself for joining the soccer team, and it’s thanks to that that he has muscles in all the right places. Oh. He also has dance to thank.

Slowly, he raises his hand and places it on top of yours. Love glows in his eyes as the corners of his mouth curves upward. His heart pounds against his chest and of course, you feel it. His heart racing, almost matching the pace of yours.

This is wrong. You have to do something.

You struggle to get out of his hold before the two of you do something that you might regret.

“Junhong…can you let go of my hand? I want to get back to studying.”

“Are you sure?”

“That I want to study? Yes. I’m sure.”

“Really? Because the cute blush on your cheeks begs to differ.”

Suddenly, he closes the gap even more. Your lips hover over each other. Your lips part just a bit as your breathing becomes heavier. Your eyes dart to his lips and then back to his eyes, hoping that Junhong doesn’t notice. Unfortunately, he does. And that’s what breaks his restraints.

He gently cups your chin and tilts his head before capturing your lips. The electricity you’ve felt on the day you first met him returns. You feel your entire body light up as he snakes his other hand behind your neck and pushes you forward. He wants you closer to him even though the two of you are already as close as you can be.

He needs you.

He swipes his tongue across your bottom lip, praying that you’ll grant him access. Luckily, you do. You part your lips enough for him. At first, it feels strange for someone else’s tongue to be in your mouth but eventually, you become used to it. How his tongue explores every crevice. How it massages against yours. God. You feel something strange form in the back of your throat. This feeling of pleasure that is desperate for release.

Then…it does…

You release this airy like moan as you surrender yourself more into the kiss.

Hearing your moan alone is enough to send his hormones into a wild frenzy that if he doesn’t break the kiss now, the two of you will more than likely lose your virginities to each other. And he wants to be your boyfriend when you do.

He wants to show you how much he has grown to love you; however, the rational side is telling him to wait.

And so he does…

He slowly breaks the kiss; his lips swollen and red. Lust and adoration glazes over his eyes as he stares you down. He notes how well-kissed you look and feels a sense of pride. Though, it soon disappears when he becomes confused. He’s unsure of your feelings for him. You’ve kissed him back, so that should mean something.

Right?

Unless…you only returned the kiss out of pity. You must’ve found out about his pathetic little crush on you and don’t return them. So, you just kiss him because you just want to get out the pent up sexual frustration.

One of the many joys of being a hormonal teen.

Out of frustration, he pushes back his hair and tears his gaze away from yours. More specifically, he tears it away from your lips or else he might just kiss you again.

A heavy sigh escapes his lips as he rubs his hand over his face a few times.

“Do you like me, Y/N?”

“Of course I do. You’re my best friend. Would I honestly put up with your antics if I didn’t?”

Another sigh exits his lips. That’s not the answer he’s looking for. He turns his heads towards you. This look of anguish ever so visible.

“Not in a friendly nature, but in a romantic one. Do you see yourself as my girlfriend?” He asks; his voice almost a whisper. “Because I can see myself as your boyfriend.” He adds, smiling sadly.

You gasp. Your eyes widen. You feel the oxygen leave your lungs.

Is he confessing to you?

Your mind becomes a jumbled mess at the mere thought.

“Y/N?” You hear him call out. He can’t take your silence. He wants to her you say either yes or no. If you say no, then he can move on with his love life. Though, it will be quite the task. You are someone who’s not easily forgettable.

You shake your head, mentally slapping yourself back into reality.

“Yeah?”

“Did you hear what I said?”

You nod your head, “I did, and to answer your question…I have thought about it. Us being a couple but then I bury them deep inside the depths of my brain because I don’t want to lose you as my friend, Junhong. I honestly don’t know what I’d do if I lost you…” You confess, releasing the worries you bottled up for almost two years.

Junhong sighs softly as he gently takes your hands into his; his thumbs caress the back of your hands.

“You’ll never lose me…no matter what…”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart and hope to die.”

You giggle a little, loving the boyish smile on his face. You then lean forward; your lips hover his.

“Well. You better hold true to your word then.”

You feel the tears pool in the brim of your eyes. Your heart aches as you near the climax of your letter. Up until this part, it has been essentially sunshine and rainbows. You have written about your first kiss…your first date…the first time you said “I love you”…the night you lost your virginities to each other…and of course…the first time you say goodbye….

You close your eyes as your fingers tremble, causing the three-paged letter to shake. A few tears trickle down your precious cheeks as you don’t want to relive the day you and Junhong broke things off…

The day you experience your first heartbreak…

“Hey, Jell-O!” You shout happily, running up to him. Earlier, you receive a text message from him, asking you to meet him at the place where you first met. From the tone of his text, it sounds urgent, so without a second thought you threw on some casual clothing and dash out of your house.

Junhong perks up the sound of your voice. He musters a soft smile, holding on to any ounce of strength he has left. He refuses to break down in front of you. He doesn’t want your last memory of him to be of him crying over the fact that the two of you have to break up.

He wants you to remember him as the happiest teen alive. He wants you to remember him as the boy you fell in love with and vice versa.

No tears at all.

He continues to smile as he watches you close the gap swiftly. As soon as you’re within arm’s reach, he wraps them around you and pulls you closer. He rests his head on top of yours, inhaling in your sweet scent as if he wants to memorize it for as long as he can.

After what seems like an hour of simple hugging, Junhong pulls back; his eyes beaming from happiness.

“So, what’s up? You sound like you were in distress when you sent me that text message.” You question, swiftly taking note of the instant change in emotion in his eyes. Why is he sad?

Junhong sighs, silently hating the fact that you always like diving right into things.

“Do you love me?”

“With all my heart…why?”

“Promise me that you’ll never forget me, but I want you to move on.”

Your breath hitches. Your lips press together. You don’t like where this conversation is going.

A disadvantage of being his friend for almost three years now…

“You’re not dying, are you?” You joke, trying to ease away your sadness. Though, it fails. You feel anxious.

Junhong chuckles a little, “No. I’m not dying…” He trails on, trying to figure out how to break the news to you.

“But….? There’s a but in there.”

“I can never pull the wool over your eyes, huh?” He shakes his head as his smile slowly fades, “But, I am moving.”

Your smile drops, “Moving? Moving where?”

“Out of the country. My mom got a job in England, and we’re flying out tomorrow.”

You do a double-take, trying to process his news. Wait a minute…that explains why he’d cancel dates or only spend a few hours with you. It makes sense now…

The love of your life is moving away…

“Y/N?” You hear him say as you look towards the ground. You don’t want him to see you cry.

You always want your break up to be on mutual, happy terms. But, obviously, the plans change.

Your eyes well up. Your mouth quivers as you bite down hard, fighting back the urge to cry.

Once you got it under control, you fake a smile and tell him that you’re happy for his mom.

You add that you’re excited to hear about his adventures in England. Though, it’s a lie. You rather hear about his day with his friends—in South Korea—where he belongs with you.

Junhong eyes you sadly. He hates how you’re never considerate of your own feelings but always with others. He wants you tell him that you don’t want him to go. He wants you to suggest long distance dating.

He just wants you.

Without a second thought, he embraces you, and that’s what breaks you down. You smell his strong aroma and then the tears start streaming down your cheeks. Neither you nor Junhong care that his shirt is becoming soaked with your tears.

You just want him to hold you.

And he wants to hold you.

“No matter what…I’ll always love you…but I want you to move on from me and date other guys.”

You honestly want to slap him for saying that. Technically, you guys just broken up, and he’s talking about dating other people.

This fool.

“How can I move on so quickly when you’re hugging me right now and telling me that you’ll always love me?” You manage to choke out, though, it took a few attempts.

Junhong laughs sadly, “Because I want you happy, dork.” He pecks your temple, “Even though, I’m no longer the source of it.” He states softly, eyeing you with nothing but love.

You sniffle, “And I want you to be happy too…” You tell him, pulling back enough to see his handsome face one last time.

“As long as I hold onto our memories, I will be…” He says before cupping your tear-stained cheeks and kissing your lips sweetly. One…last…time…

“I love you so much, Choi Junhong…”

“And I love you so much, L/N Y/N…”

And then, holding true to his words, he and his family flown out the next day. It’s been almost a year since that day. You can’t believe how much time has flown on by since you said goodbye to your first love. At first, forgetting about him and moving on has been difficult. You’ve gone through a short mourning period. You barely slept. You barely ate.

You’ve honestly worried your friends. That is…until one of them decided that enough was enough.

You close up Junhong’s letter and then reach for the next person…

Code name: “To the One Who Nursed a Broken Heart”. You pick up the pastel pink colored envelope and open it up. It’s not as long as Junhong’s but it’s still lengthy.

“To the One Who Nursed My Broken Heart…”

A/N: And there we have it folks! The first guy, Zelo, is complete! This kind of broke my heart to be honest, especially with the whole saying of “You never forget your first love.” That’s true for me. I still think about mine here and there and still hope that he’s happy.

Anyway...you ready for the next guy? Any guesses on who it is? Let me know!

Don’t forget to leave a comment/like/reblog/a message in my inbox! I love hearing your thoughts! :)

- Kim

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hoekins · 6 years

Text

HAWKINS 9

i just finished writing this right now, it’s fresh from the oven my feels

pairing: mike wheeler x oc (steve’s sister)

warning: lighthearted swearing, some lumax feels iM

2.4k words

masterlist

GROSS!

Stacy didn’t really ask for Steve to drive her to the arcade but it’s not like another option is available. Her parents aren’t keen on cashing out on a new bicycle for her to travel around in since they’re planning on getting her her own car anyway, they‘re just waiting for the right moment and maybe not until Stacy gets her driver’s license for Hawkins. So for the mean time, Stacy enjoys the free rides in the company of her older brother who seems to find driving her around an excitable agenda.

As Steve clutches the gear shift to pull up right in front of the arcade, he tilts his body to ask his sister, “Do you need change for the games, quarters, or?”

“Are ya offering me free money?” Stacy grins, chewing along to the pink gum in her mouth.

“Yeah, no, get out.” Steve huffs, facing front once again with his left hand on the steering wheel.

“Grumpy ass,” Stacy mumbles to herself, pressing the seatbelt to unwrap it from her body. One foot at a time, she launches herself out of Steve’s car and turns to him since he has a few more words to leave before he does.

Steve’s eyes strain themselves to look at his sister against the obnoxiously bright neon lights on the arcade sign. “I’ll pick you up at 7.”

“9.” Who in the world plays arcade games for just one hour?

“Stacy—“

“8.”

Steve purses his lips before giving in, “Okay, fine. Be safe.”

Stacy stands by the entrance, watching her brother’s car weave through the ongoing traffic on the main road before she enters the dark building illuminated by colorful lightbulbs attached to the game machines. It takes her a while to find her friends in the busy crowd, noting to herself that Friday nights in the summer sure do promise an influx of prepubescents. She does find them crowding a Centipede game machine. As she wiggles her way past short and long bodies alike to get to Max, a tall boy munching on Cheetos blocks her path.

“Are you 18?” He asks monotonously, orange fingers weaving their way out of the sticky bag of chips.

Stacy looks around and catches Will’s eyes who tilts his head in question of the scenario Stacy has caught herself in. Returning her gaze toward the lanky brunette, she replies, “No...”She meant to say it in a duh tone but it ended up sounding more of a question.

“Aha! You’re not from here!” The tall boy prods. The more that Stacy is forced in his presence, the more that she picks up some... details about him like that his scent reminds Stacy of basements, the kind with atrocious ventilation that results to trapping of sweat inside the room due to the lack of windows or air vents. The older teenager derails her train of thoughts, “You have an accent.” He says it like he just decoded a million-dollar Math problem.

“Is he bothering you?” Dustin pops out of nowhere, head peeking out from behind the intrusive stranger. Stacy glances subtly at him, hopefully successfully sending pleas through her eyes which Dustin picks up on thankfully. “You’ll have to excuse him, Stacy. He’s not exposed all that much to the opposite sex.”

“Good to know you’re finally getting out of Nancy’s hair.” Lucas scoffs.

“Whatever.” The creepy teenager mutters with gritted teeth before pushing past a few other kids to get to the cashier counter.

Stacy turns back to her friends and gives them a small smile as they all walk back in front of the game machine. “Do you know how to play?” Dustin asks her as she watches Max strategically press buttons in patterns that don’t make quite sense to her.

“Not really.” She shrugs, looking at Dustin before gazing around the arcade and spotting single basketball games with hoops lined along a wall. “I can play that though.” She points to the other side of the room, catching Dustin’s, Lucas’, Will’s, and even Mike’s—who was busy watching Max play— attention.

“Basketball? We’ve never tried that before.” Lucas mentions. He and his friends have practically lived in the arcade for days on end yet none of them has ever touched a ball from there. Sure, they’ve joked about playing it before but no one ever really stuck through and tried it.

“Well,” Stacy casually shoves both her hands inside the back pockets of her jeans, “I usually play with a team.” She adds all the while glancing at Max to catch her reaction which by the way, is just a determined look in her face as she continues to aggressively press buttons. Stacy only ever came to the arcade because she offered to be there for Max when she deals with telling Lucas what she feels, specifically what troubles her.

“Yes!” Max yells, throwing her tired hands up in celebration. “Suck it, Wheeler!” She smirks at the poor boy, knowing Mike wouldn’t be able to overthrow her at the top of the leaderboard. “Stacy!” She greets excitedly, wrapping her arms around the dark-haired girl, squeezing her slightly before letting go.

“Stacy wants to play the basketball.” Dustin word-vomits, pointing at the hoops.

“What!” Stacy reacts, “I just said I could play, not that I wanted to! I don’t want to shame myself really,” she says as an excuse while shaking her hands in front of her.

Dustin and Lucas weren’t listening anyway as the two of them literally drag Stacy in front of the game, excited to see what she’s got. The boys standing near the basketball game machines all quirk an eye at the unfamiliar girl with pink cheeks looking a little bit distracted as one of her friends input a quarter inside the machine.

“Kick their ass, Stac.” Max giggles, pushing Stacy closer to the edge of the game machine. Stacy looks back at Max with a freaked out look on her face but she’s forced to play as the countdown under the score lights go from 3 to 2 and to 1.

Stacy feels a little underwhelmed at the fact that she’s literally planted on the floor, unmoving like the basketball hoop in front of her. It’s nothing like an actual game at all, especially that the hoop is not as high up as actual boards in a game but she lives through it. Stages 1 and 2 pass her by a breeze until the hoops actually started moving horizontally which weren’t much but it’s then that she actually started enjoying the game.

From behind, her friends watch her, lowkey impressed as she hauls her 5’2 body upwards and slightly forwards to shoot every single ball, except for one when her worn- out striped sweater was pulled out from being tucked under her jeans and she felt slightly conscious.

“A-right, it’s taking too long,” she laughs, discontinuing the game and walking towards her friends instead. She feels guilty that they’re all just waiting for her to finish the game when they could be playing something else. Red lights flash 304 behind her until the countdown finishes and the tickets pile a little on the floor. “You can have it, thanks.” She smiles at Dustin since he was the one who offered a quarter for her game anyway.

“Sweet.” Dustin grins widely, plucking the long trail of tickets and gushing with Lucas about it. They were thinking of getting that kazoo from the prizes stand just so they could annoy their friends with it.

“We practically rule this place, huh?” Max jokes, bumping shoulders with Stacy who chuckles along with her.

Stacy looks around a little, noting that Dustin and Lucas are still busy with the tickets and Mike and Will are simply standing, trying to make sense of what they should do next. “Have you talked to him?” She asks with a hushed voice.

Max looks down on the floor, as if her sneakers are the most interesting thing she’s ever seen. “Not really.” She mumbles.

“Hey,” Stacy says softly, “You don’t have to do it right now, yeah? I don’t want you to feel like I forced you into this. It was just a suggestion.” She explains. Max nods, releasing a big puff of breath she didn’t know she was holding.

Stacy smiles lightly, “You’re eavesdropping.” She says to no one in particular, but she does have one person in mind.

“H-huh?” Mike straightens his stance, cheeks flushing at being caught redhanded. Will glances at his friend, then at Stacy, then at Max, then back to Mike, looking as confused as ever. “I wasn’t,” Mike says sharply in feeble defense.

Stacy smiles wider, finding the situation and maybe Mike Wheeler’s rosy cheeks funny. “Didn’t say it was you, bud. But if the shoe fits..”

This time, it’s Max’s turn to mirror Will’s confused side glances. What the hell?, she mentally asks herself. Wasn’t it just four days ago that these two were like trained savages coming for each others necks? The question doesn’t ever stop coming through her mind. They all pile up in her head.

However, the shrill sound of the kazoo cuts its way through the awkward tension in the group. “Oh hell no,” Mike mutters to himself, already hitting his forehead at the upcoming migraine he would be having the near weeks. His friends and objects that make sounds don’t really mesh well, he knows that so well after Lucas tried to learn how to play the clarinet. Mike felt a little relieved after he lost interest.

“Why do these two look like someone tried to explain quantum physics to them?” Lucas furrows his eyebrows, stretching an arm to gesture at Max and Will.

“Anyway,” Stacy claps, “Which should you play next?” She asks the group, but none of them seem to want to play any more games. Neither do Lucas and Dustin who are both already satisfied with their new musical instrument and weapon of mass migraine, if not destruction.

“They’re selling cotton candy outside.” Will shrugs, inwardly craving the sweet snack.

Everyone else shrugs back, willing the entire friend group to haul ass outside in search of the cotton candy stand. It’s a few steps that they take as they all line up for the stand, using their excess coins to buy a stick of cotton candy.

In the windy chill of the night, Max, Lucas, Will, Dustin all sit on a curb in a line, nibbling through the sugar on stick, enjoying the company of each other. Max gives Lucas side-glances through her blue cotton candy every once in a while until Lucas himself started noticing.

“You okay, Max?” Lucas turns to her with a worried look on his face.

Max’s breath catches a little in her throat, “Huh?” She asks, taken a little off-guard. It’s been quite a while since Lucas asked her that. “Y-yeah.” She answers softly, smiling afterwards at the boy she has been crushing on for almost a year now.

“Okay, but I’ll be here to listen in case. Okay?” Lucas smiles back at her, already forgetting the cotton candy in his hand.

“Okay.” Max replies with a little nod. Just as she takes a bite from her snack, the boy next to her sneaks in a quick kiss on her cheek.

“Gross.” Will announces as a joke, biting through his own cotton candy with a little smile on his face. He’s feeling better lately, and hasn’t had an episode since the last one which is a good sign. It’s enough to make him giddy, but with the added sugar, the boy is jumpy with energy.

Meanwhile, Dustin can’t help but wonder what’s taking Mike and Stacy so long. The two were left lining up by the cotton candy stand just a few meters away while the rest of the group sat down by the pavement. At this point, Dustin thought the two have already murdered each other, but as his eyes look around the area, he spots the two conversing just a few steps away from the cotton candy stand, two colorful fluffs of candy forgotten in their respective hands. Unfortunately for Dustin, he can’t hear them but he does pick up the relaxed vibe coming from Mike’s body language. He then, is as confused as Max and Will were a while ago. It’s like seeing fire and ice interacting so comfortably.

What Dustin can’t hear from afar is Mike asking Stacy, “So... Have you noticed anything from them? Will is really quiet but I very possibly believe he can’t harm a fly let alone El—“

“That’s the same for the rest of ‘em, Mike. How do you think they’d feel when they find out you thought they could do something so horrible?” Stacy tries to guilt trip him, but Mike’s head is too clouded and honestly a little distracted from the fruity scent he smells distinctly from Stacy.

“I’m on their side.” Mike appeals.

Stacy frowns, “It doesn’t look like it, Mike.” She takes a deep breath, “Keeping secrets from friends never end well.”

“Okay, Will the wise—“

“What?”

“Oh, it’s an inside joke,” he waves a hand off to dismiss the idea. “Don’t change the topic! It’s like you’re not even trying to watch over them.”

“What, do you expect me to crouch around them with a magnifying glass in hand?” Stacy chuckles. She’s observant at best and notices even those she doesn’t want to notice.

Mike glares at her then rolls his eyes ever so slightly. “You don’t need to crouch, you’re already short.”

“Wow!” Stacy exclaims at the banter. “Look who’s talking! You’re like 5’4, you fucking troll!” Stacy would have appeared offended, but Mike finds her outburst funny anyway.

“I’m way taller than that.”

“Not as tall as your ego.” Stacy barks back, but at this point it’s all in fun’s name. Stacy joking and playing along with Mike Wheeler’s antics? The world must be coming to an end.

Silence follows the two teens like a shadow as they walk so casually slow to where their friends are. “Stacy?” Mike calls.

“Hmm?” Stacy hums, distracted by the sickly sweet candy in her mouth.

While looking down at their feet tapping through the pavement, Vans and Puma next to each other, Mike says lowly in almost a whisper that Stacy almost doesn’t catch, “Promise you’ll try.”

Try to what? Stacy has no idea at all. Still, she finds herself responding after a while just before reaching their friends chatting in a comfortable line across the sidewalk, “Promise.”

#well shit dont break promises sis #hawkins series #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things series #mike wheeler imagine #steve harrington’s sister #mike wheeler x oc #mike wheeler x reader #eleven #will byers #dustin henderson #lucas sinclair #max mayfield #mike wheeler #bestfriend!max #finn wolfhard #joe keery #finn wolfhard imagine

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eng-solomons · 4 years

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Importance of telling your story

Pick 3 important ideas from the article and be prepared to discuss these ideas in a larger group discussion. Why did you pick these 3? In your opinion, what makes them important? How do you relate to these ideas on a personal level? Be prepared to discuss each of these points in our group discussion.

The 3 main ideas that stood out in this article consist of:

Telling our story is a way to release it.

When opening up, you allow others to open up

Sharing broadens horizons

The author clearly states all these ideas throughout the article. He describes how sharing his story with his friend gave them an opportunity to share their story of relations to concentration camps and world war 2. In that interaction alone, the author released his pain from the loss of his home, gave his friend an outlet to do the same, and his eyes were opened to realize that many others went through an even more devastating loss. I believe these 3 ideas are all very important with a common theme of strengthening human connection. I tend to struggle with sharing personal things about myself but reading this article provides a prime example on why sharing is crucial.

Write a personal story that explores an important moment in your life. Follow the model provided in the article. Make sure it is descriptive (sights, sounds, smells, colour, etc). Be specific and detailed about the memory and allow yourself to live in that moment again. (800-1000 words)

It was the summer after my sophomore year of high school. I went on a cottage trip with my brother and his friends to Sherkston Shores in Niagara. Arriving at the cottage and barely finishing unpacking the cars, the boys were eager to get started with the real fun stuff. The drinks. A few of our friends are Muslim and I am underage so we were the designated sobers. Drinking sounded more fun but watching them all get drunk and be stupid was the way to go. It was still the afternoon so they started slow, cracking a few coronas. In an hour they ended up killing a 2 4 but they were still walking straight. They took a break from drinking with the buzz from the beers and decided to head to the beach for some football runs. Personally, I hate the beach but any bad thing with good friends is a good time. The sand was in every crevice of my body from getting tackled, burns from the hot sand, and the most reckless tan line I've ever seen but it was an afternoon well spent. Sun was still up but the evening was upon us so my brother and his friend steven were on grill duty. Dinner was a quiet time, good eats means quiet mouths. Dinner consisted of barbecued tandoori chicken with a side of potato salad and whatever potato chips were around. Dinner was done quickly because we all wanted to play pong. Due to lack of beer, we came up with shot pong, which was essentially the same concept but instead of finishing a cup of beer when a ball is sunk, you take a shot which surely gets you drunk way faster. I played but my brother took shots on my behalf, his alcohol tolerance is good so we weren’t concerned. Soon enough the game died down when the liquor started hitting people so we started chatting about life while they took swigs straight from the bottle. As a bunch of youngin’s everybody wants to one-up each other, so the pulls from the bottle gradually got bigger and the repeated words were always “That’s light baby.” The room was filled with hysterical drunk laughs and breaths the scent JBs whiskey. Everybody out drinking each other was all fun and games until it wasn't. After the bottle was done it all started to really hit. Steven and the rest were doing alright, a few stumbles over their steps and slurred words but my brother who drank the most were in pretty rough shape. We all laughed at his lack of fine motor skills but something told me the night was going to turn. His ego is huge so of course, he wanted to show up his friends but now he could barely speak a clear sentence, walk on his own or bring a bottle of water to his mouth. As his sibling and one of the sobers I was obligated to take care of him. He passed out on the couch for a bit so we weren't worried until he woke up abruptly running looking pale. We grabbed the garbage for him and true enough he was puking his guts out. I dreaded the scent but I thought it was just going to be one spew and he’d be done but I couldn’t be more wrong. Throw up, pass out, throw up, pass out, it felt like an endless cycle. He was barely conscious after a few hours, his pulse slowed down drastically. The boys came and helped me watch him on the couch, we physically had to lift up his lifeless body to hold him over the garbage bin. His condition was so bad we considered calling paramedics and they looked to me to make the decision. Stressed out of my mind for what would happen with him or if my parents heard all this from the first night, I declined it. We nursed him for the rest of the night. Its 4 am, almost everybody is asleep by now, but 3 of us are still awake caring for him with the same cycle, trying to get him to take little sips of water subconsciously to flush out the liquor. I'm delusional at this point from exhaustion but I recall my brother finally falling asleep. For real this time. The 3 guys and I went to wash up after being covered in puke from the longest night we’ve ever experienced. Barely sleeping, the morning after comes around, I check my brother's pulse religiously as his body still lacks any ability of functioning. Looking back now, if my brother didn’t have friends who cared about him, he would be dead today. He ended up being knocked out that whole next day, I did some research and he showed every sign of alcohol poisoning and should’ve got his stomach pumped. My biggest lesson from that night is the importance of good friends during bad times. Often I strive to be independent during times of struggle. I have so much pride I will hold the independent mentality until a breaking point and thank god I’ve never reached a breaking point. But After my brother got alcohol poisoning and needed his friends to take care of them, I realized I should never push away those who are trying to help me. If I couldn’t push them away, those who really care for me would help me regardless as they want the best for me. Allowing people to help me in my times of struggle can allow me to create stronger relationships with those around me. Vulnerability has always been a struggle but that night of my friends helping my brother judgment-free changed something in me.

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selflife-hacks-blog · 5 years

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Reduce Weight How To Do That In A Healthy Way

To reduce weight in a healthy way it was great challenge in present life. Everyone in one point of life would have suffered from this global issue... obesity!! i wondered why stress has effect on the fat deposition in our body. with my medical knowledge , I have done many research and found the effect of stress hormones on our daily metabolism our stress hormones like cortisol plays a major role. This article would be of great use if you are one among them who are planning to be health conscious.

It is not about starving or only exercise that helps in weight reduction. It is something more we have to know!!. That is calculating what you are eating

How can you calculate it???

In diet plan Rice has high amount of calories and carbohydrate that is very bad for the

proper diet management.

It was another shocker for me as my staple food is that . so what should you do..? 1.Come up with diet chat 2. Write down the amount of calories (maintain calories intake to 1500 k cal) 3.Daily cardio of walking and write down calories output(500 k cal) let me go in detail....

1.Come up with diet chart:

So what was the diet chart??

Start day with a hot cup of water since it will enhance your metabolism .

Every day morning with juice of any veg/ fruit without sugar

Afternoon : 2 slices of brown bread and 1 whole boiled egg

( believe me , eating an egg will suppress your hunger and make you energetic all day long) Night: oat meal- cup(boiled)

This has been good daily routine and continued doing it for 1 month and you will be shocked to see the drastic change with in a week.

2. Write down the amount of calories (maintain calories intake to 1500 k cal) to reduce weight:

Keep the note of what all food you are taking is other important tool to

reduce weight.

this will also help you to control your appetite and become more conscious

https://www.webmd.com/diet/healthtool-food-calorie-counter

The above website i have shared helps you to calculate the amount of calories you have taken. Remember don't exceed 2000 k cal / day.

3.Daily cardio of walking and write down calories output(500 kcal) to reduce weight:

yes!! this is one of the hardest things but most effective thing to

reduce weight

This helps you to burn out the extra junk out of your body , the 1st 5 kg you would be decreasing quite easy as this is mainly because of fluid reduction and liquid fat burning . but after that comes the main part- the other 5 kgs that would be very difficult task , this can be achieved only with the

sufficient exercise

. doing cardio would be the best thing!! Tread mill and cycling are best . if you want to keep time constant and burn more calories, i would recommend cycling as it would burn more fat in less time. If you are a diabetic then there are

specific dietary and life style modifications

for reduction of the weight in the healthy way this includes the

natural diabetic dietary planning

and

alternative substitutes of the diabetic diet

which is quite different from the various dietary modification in normal person

Exercises done in sitting that reduces belly fat:

While you're working out:

On the elliptical or treadmill, keep your back straight, head forward and abs tight. Perfect posture will target your tummy as you sizzle calories.

When you're in the car:

Tighten and release abs repeatedly at red lights. It's the ab equivalent of Kegels: a little move that yields results almost without your noticing.

When you're at your desk:

Give belly pooch the pink slip with pilates breathing: Gently suck in your gut as if you were buttoning a tight pair of jeans. Then breathe without allowing your abs to relax. Do this for 30 seconds. Repeat five times, advises Michele Olson, Ph.D., professor of exercise science at Auburn University.

When you're walking Fido:

Keeping torso upright with shoulders back, engage abs for five strides; relax them for five strides. Repeat until you're back at your front door, says Torri Shack, a trainer in Los Angeles.

When you're in bed:

Place palms right below belly button. Exhale and allow stomach to expand. Then inhale, pulling belly button toward spine, drawing abdomen toward the box spring. Hold for 10 seconds. Repeat four times.

(source)

How to lose weight fast without exercise?

This is most often asked question about how I lose weight fast without exercise. Though this may not be as affective for fast losing weight as the above plan in which exercise and physical movements are included. This diet is scientifically proven to reduce weight using only few food ingredients in your meal plate. is it apple cider vinegar!! or lemon with honey!! may be not that simple, This is called Mediterranean diet plan and ZONE diet plan: These diet plans helps to weight lose and also enhances other physical wellbeing

What is Mediterranean diet?

Health benefits of the Mediterranean diet:

Decreases cardiovascular risk

Decreases diabetes mellitus

Improves brain function

Decrease weight

Improves the quality sleep

Decreases bad cholesterol

Foods to be avoided in Mediterranean diet:

Refined grains, such as white bread, white pasta, and pizza dough containing white flour

Deli meats, hot dogs, and other processed meats Processed or packaged foods Foods with added sugars, such as pastries, sodas, and candies Refined oils, which include canola oil and soybean oil

click to know more about the Mediterranean diet plan

What is ZONE diet?

The Zone Diet was developed by Dr. Barry Sears more than 30 years ago, an American biochemist. His best-selling book The Zone was published in 1995.

The uses of the zone diet:

Helps to lose an excessive amount of fat from your bodyGood physical healthThinking fasterMaintaining in the zoning phase is a life long task. Making dietary changes to reach the Zone and stay there may initially appear difficult, but are well worth the effort. There are different methods that can be used for the Zone diet( either of the methods helps to quantify your diet:

The Hand-Eye Method

Protein – 1/3rd of your plate (about the size and thickness of your palm) -egg whites, fish, poultry, lean beef or low-fat dairy.

Carbohydrates – 2/3rds of your plate,(twice the size and thickness of your palm) -vegetables and a little fruit. (fruits that are high in sugars to be avoided like banana and vegetables that are starchy like a potato) Fat – Add a little bit of monounsaturated fat-olive oil, avocado, or almonds.

The Zone Food Block Method

Each Zone block is made of a protein block, a fat blocker, and a carbohydrate block. Protein block: Contains 7 grams of protein. Carb block: Contains 9 grams of carbs. Fat block: Contains 1.5 grams of fat. The main meal such as breakfast, lunch or dinner contains three to five Zone blocks, while a snack always contains one Zone block. The average male eats 14 Zone blocks per day, while the average female eats 11 Zone blocks per day.

click here to know more about the Zone diet

Few facts about weight reduction:

Losing weight can reduce arthritis symptoms

A recent study found that eating dark chocolate in moderate amounts is associated with lower levels of abdominal fat

Sleep deprivation can make it harder to lose weight. Inadequate sleep upsets a person’s hormone balance, which decreases leptin (a hormone that makes a person feel full) and increases ghrelin (which triggers hunger).

While weight loss pills may help a person lose weight temporarily, they can cause other negative side effects, such as severe mood swings and depression.

Research shows that consuming artificial sweeteners actually promotes weight gain. After only one week of ingesting artificial sweeteners, healthy subjects showed symptoms of glucose intolerance and a change in gut bacteria.

According to several studies, parents who ate with their family while sitting around a kitchen or dining room table weigh significantly less than those who eat dinner in front of the TV.

Experts note that the body starts to shut down after sitting for long periods of time.

Importantly, key fat-burning enzymes simply start switching off. Even after just one day of sitting, fat-burning enzymes plummet by 50%, among other determinant health effects. Even 30 minutes at the gym is not enough to offset the detrimental effects of 8 hours of sitting.

People who are leaner move an average of 150 minutes more per day than overweight people. Simply getting off of a chair and moving helps turn on fat burning enzymes and increase blood flow

Studies show that those who travel most for work have a harder time losing weight and tend to have a greater risk of obesity

Each daily can of diet soda increases a person’s risk of obesity by 41%.

One pound of fat equals 3,500 calories.

Someone who has soda readily available and in sight at home weighs on average 25 pounds more than someone who doesn’t

Researchers noted that keeping serving dishes off the table reduced the amount of food men ate by 29%

Shopping while hungry makes people not only buy more food, it also makes them buy more junk food.

Regularly smelling peppermint may help decrease hunger and, consequently, caloric intake.

Researchers believe the strong scent is distracting and helps keeps a person’s mind off of their appetite.

Yo-yo dieting has been linked to heart disease, insulin resistance, higher blood pressure, inflammation, and long-term weight gain

Liposuction removes only the fat that lies directly underneath the skin. The most fat that can be removed safely is 2–3 pounds. Lipo cannot remove intra-abdominal fat that is associated with heart disease and diabetes

This is the first study in humans to show that something like a cup of coffee can have a direct effect on our brown fat functions- The potential implications of our results are pretty big, as obesity is a major health concern for society, and we also have a growing diabetes epidemic, and brown fat could potentially be part of the solution.” Prof. Michael Symonds (source)

CONCLUSION

Reducing weight is not some thing every difficult to do but starving and restricting food would not be a good idea if you wanted to decrease your weight in a healthy way. These few steps like maintaining the calorie intake / calorie output, regular exercise and diet planning in a healthy way can be the best option if you are suffering from obesity.

Apart from these regular diet plan, there are other scientifically proven diet plans named Mediterranean diet plan and ZONE diet plan, these plans help to reduce weight without exercise. Though doing no exercise sounds good. It is always advised to regularize your body with adequate exercise and physical activity.

For more related articles regarding Mental and physical health

Get More Health Tips:

Visit: https://selflifehacks.com

#natural weight loss foods #reduce weight how to do that in a healthy way #reduce weight in a healthy way #weight loss diet weight loss foods #weight loss tips #selflifehacks

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kathydsalters31 · 4 years

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Can Cat Calming Pheromones Soothe Your Anxious Kitty?

This message contains associate web links. Learn more below. Not a substitute for specialist vet aid.

When your feline is anxious, you possibly understand it! Constant meowing is difficult to neglect. Are “accidents” outside the box or on your bed, or hairless patches from anxious overgrooming. Multi-cat houses might see aggressive behaviors such as hissing, yowling, and battling. Once you’ve contacted your veterinarian to dismiss a medical concern, one of the initial de-stressing remedies worth trying is pet cat relaxing pheromones.

Feline relaxing scents are synthetic versions of the pheromones cats utilize to calm themselves and their kittens. The best-known pet cat soothing scent product, Feliway, is a synthetic version of the pheromone that cats leave when they rub their mouths against your leg (or a favored plaything) to mark a “secure room.” Other brands, like Sentry, make use of artificial variations of the pheromone mother pet cats release to soothe their kittens.

Feline soothing pheromones can often decrease anxiety-related actions such as overgrooming, too much meowing or pacing, and unsuitable peeing or splashing. Researchers located Feliway to be effective in

reducing hostility in multi-cat households; it is also usually utilized to calm thingsdown when introducing a new cat to

various other pets. You can also make use of a pheromone spray on a cat carrier to soothe your pet cat for traveling. To be efficient, artificial scents need to be reapplied often (much the method your feline will repetitively note a spot). You can spray locations every couple of days or buy a plug-in diffuser that floats the synthetic pheromone throughout an area. While the diffuser is hassle-free, there are usually grievances that the warmed liquids leakage or damages walls. You can also purchase a collar for your feline that’s infused with scents– the collar remains effective for concerning 30 days.

Pheromones, including synthetic ones, are species-specific. While pet cats can smell the pheromones particular to them, others, such as pet dogs or human beings, won’t discover them.

CJ/Pixabay Obtaining a Grasp on Your Cat’s Anxiety PetMD and VetStreet listing these habits as feasible indicators that your kitty fears:

Crying

Sticking

Concealing

Trembling

Taking out

Reduced activity

Escape efforts

Uncommon, possibly harmful, movements

Licking and also biting at self

Vomiting

Unexpected urination/urination outside the litter box

Sudden digestive tract movements/bowel movements outside the can

Diarrhea

Anorexia nervosa

Devastating, hostile behavior

These actions can additionally be triggered by illness, so make certain to check in with your vet as a primary step. When wellness issues are ruled out, nevertheless, the next step is to try to pinpoint what’s distressing your cat. That will certainly aid you choose exactly how to go about treating your kitty’s anxious behavior.

If the problem is a new feline in the home, look into the American Humane Society’s fact sheet, “

Introducing Cats to Cats.” It can be extremely difficult to figure out what has your kitty upset if you have a one-cat household. Have a look at whether there have been any type of changes in their atmosphere. That can consist of new food, different trash, a brand-new housemate, sound from a building and construction project following door, or a barking dog in a neighbor’s lawn. Or maybe the lack of something acquainted– has a person has left your home, or are you functioning long days at the office? These are all points that can upset felines, who are extremely conscious changes around them– also a new piece of furniture.

Considering that you likely can not do much concerning the resource of your cat’s distress, devices like feline relaxing pheromones can aid by minimizing their level of sensitivity.

There are a couple of various products with cat soothing pheromones on the marketplace; Feliway is among the earliest, it’s been around since 2001.

Products with Cat Calming Pheromones

These collars launch synthetic pet cat soothing pheromones that resemble what mommies create to relieve their kittens. They’re made to lower or remove stress-related actions such asimproper

noting, destructive habits, clawing, and aggressiveness. They make it much easier for nervous felines to manage travel, electrical storms, fireworks, and also brand-new social situations. The collar is energetic for approximately 30 days. Shop on Chewy This cat soothing scents spray is made for the auto or pet crate– ideal for heading to the vet or taking your pet cat on a road trip– spray it 10 minutes beforehand. Shop on Chewy

This starter package consists of a plug-in diffuser(helpful for 12 months) as well as one container that contains a month’s supply of pet cat relaxing pheromones. Plug in the diffuser and also it will certainly spread out pheromones throughout the room of your selection.

Shop on Chewy These separately packaged travel wipes infused with calming scents are perfect for when you’re transferring your pet cat however do n’t wish to utilize an aerosol or bring spray. Use them to wipe down your feline’s provider or the interior of your automobile. Reapply every 4 or 5 hrs to maintain a calming environment. Shop on Chewy Other Solutions for Cat Anxiety If pet cat soothing scents, whether sprayed, diffused, or launched via a collar, aren’t relaxing your stressed-out feline, do not surrender. Initially, talk with your veterinarian. They can supply details regarding prescription diet regimens, anti-anxiety medication, and also behavioral training. When managing aggressiveness in a multi-cat home, remember that both the sufferer and the provocateur are experiencing anxiousness. The pet professionals at WebMD

have some fantastic insights right into managing this kind of behavior. Bach Rescue Remedy is a non-pheromone-based, non-prescription organic remedy that lots of pet parents swear by. Simply include a couple of drops to their water bowl.

Anxiety coats are an additional choice. The

ThunderShirt, originally designed for pets, now has a variation simply for pet cats (after pet cat moms and dads began getting the tiniest dimensions of the pet dog design for their pet cats

). Some cat proprietors report excellent outcomes using this stress and anxiety coat, originally designed for canines however adapted for felines: The cat-sized ThunderShirt is marketed as efficient for more than 80 % of felines. Along with helping your feline remain calm throughout tornados, fireworks, as well as various other difficult scenarios, it can aid regulate inappropriate scratching, marking, and also meowing. The cat ThunderShirt comes in 3 dimensions; evaluate if your cat falls between two dimensions.

Shop on Chewy More Reading Featured photo using

jeongmin park/Pixabay

source http://www.luckydogsolutions.com/can-cat-calming-pheromones-soothe-your-anxious-kitty/

from Lucky Dog Solutions https://luckydogsolutions.blogspot.com/2020/07/can-cat-calming-pheromones-soothe-your.html

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