#and yes i’m aware of the irony of saying that and being in this fandom 😭 | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

clever-fox-studios · 3 months

Text

Next Chapter's ready

Glittering, shimmering, perfect.

The aurora’s yellow glimmer reflected off the hundreds of panels of glass that littered the skyline like precious jewels, all lit from within by the wondrous generators laid out in underground chambers that formed the base of E’rta City. Each one meticulously crafted, cleaned and updated to better regulate the supply of etherylle and electricity as the city demanded; each one belonging to Oinn Energy & Supply, itself a jewel in the figurative crown of Vissara Oinn, the CEO. Had it suited her, the middle aged woman would wear such a thing without a hint of irony, however such gaudy things had fallen out of fashion eons before her ancestors set the groundwork for their legacy in energy cultivation.

Vissara was nothing if not modern.

The term ‘ivory tower’ was an old one, supposedly meant to denote wealth and privilege without being literal, but for Vissara it very much was both. Turning from the window, she tucked a stray black hair behind her ear and approached her desk, a fine piece of rare dark wood that stood out starkly among the white and gray marble walls laced with gold trim and filigree. She found the dark spot to be suitably unnerving in its isolation to those who found themselves in the luxurious walls of her private office, as if it made them so very aware of their own misplacement in her presence. This pleased the woman every time she saw eyes shift nervously across the room or weight switch from foot to foot as they felt the hollow weight bear down on them from a room too big, too empty, too tall to be comfortable in.

She found comfort in that emptiness and the power is held over the minds of the socially stagnated.

The comm unit on her desk beeped just as she reached her chair. With a faint flicker of a smile always in place, Vissara touched the Open Link button gently with a ruby and gold gelled nail. “Yes?” she purred, expecting something good.

“Silvon is here,” the small voice on the other side replied.

“Ah,” the woman mused, smile widening with genuine happiness, “perfect, perfect! Send him in!”

No sooner had she hung up the comm than the great carved doors of the office opened with a groan, a single lean human standing there patiently. Dressed with fine lilacs and chains, the masculine human stepped into the room, round glasses frames shining in the brightness. “Miss Oinn,” they greeted with typical monotone.

Approaching them gracefully, Vissara’s heels clicked over the marble floor as she stepped off the carpet with barely contained eagerness. “Excellent timing, as always,” the woman mused, stopping a few strides away from her guest. “Tell me good news, Silvon. Have you found my boys yet?”

Faded magenta irises gazed evenly, unbothered by the stark echo of heelsteps off the walls and oppressive emptiness they knew Vissara was so keen on using to intimidate others. “News, yes, but I can’t say it’s good.”

Painted lips pursed in an overplayed pout. “Well that’s not what I wanted to hear.”

“My apologies.” Silvon knew not to play into her act; unlike her lavish material things, they knew Vissara herself to be one thing: fake. Nothing she said or did could be taken at face value, whether it was a business deal or a pout that was suspiciously too coy to be genuine. Always, she was waiting. Baiting. “The rebels were mostly contained and interrogated, however a handful of them were witnessed escaping the bounds of the city, heading into the jungle.”

Lacquered nails folded together patiently. “I’m not going to like this, am I?”

Eyes closing behind wide rimmed glasses, Silvon continued, “We believe your ‘boys’ were taken by those who managed to escape.”

“Of course.” True disappointment was rare to hear in the woman’s voice, and this was no different a time; she’d expected this on some level, Silvon thought. “First they ruin my party, then they take my treasures. Horrid! All because they disagreed with the relocation effort.”

An involuntary tic hit Silvon’s jaw, forcing them to clamp it down firmly and avoid speaking up about her use of the term ‘relocation’. This was not the time. “If it would please you, miss Oinn, I can contact the provider and have them… remade for you.”

“Now why would I do that?”

Silvon’s eyes opened, meeting the unreadable, faintly grinning face of Vissara as she stared them down, manicured hand laying on her cheek in a mockery of worry. “Pardon?” They tried to keep disappointment from giving away their feelings about her answer.

“Certainly, I can go out anywhere and just buy a new Sun and Moon, but they won’t be mine . Anyone can go out and buy a trophy from a prop shop and have it engraved with their name and some mediocre accomplishment if they wanted to–-but would that make the trophy in any way valuable?”

Uselessly searching her face for an answer, Silvon took a slow breath. “No, ma’am.”

“Precisely,” she hummed, a finger pointing to the human for a moment as if playfully taunting them. “Awards are valuable because they’re gifted–-earned . I earned those boys with my tact and forethought.” Silvon’s jaw twitched again. “If I just buy another set, they won’t have that same meaning. Being gifted new ones is just cheap, it won’t be the same as the first time. No, I want my boys back, and if that means tracking those awful renegades across the greater part of Per’iah then so be it.”

Steadily, Silvon nodded. “Of course. I’ll let the company know how you want to proceed and–”

“Oh, don’t bother.” A flash of red caught Silvon’s eye as the woman waved her hand dismissively, trotting back to her desk to open a hapscreen laden with files all marked by photos of people Silvon only barely recognized. “I’ve already invested in a special group of scruffies to track them down.”

Concern cut through Silvon’s mind for a moment, urging them to speak up. “Scruffies, ma’am? Really?”

“Well, the Runners won’t do it, I already asked,” she mused with that same fake pout.

“Really?” They found that hard to believe.

“The scruffies were cheaper and there are more of them so there’s more chance of success, right?”

Silvon knew that wasn’t the reason–-and that Vissara knew they knew-–but bringing up details of the ‘relocation’ was a fast way to end up on the underside of a steamroller if one wasn’t careful. The Free Runner Guild rarely turned down jobs, especially high paying ones, but they didn’t have their reputation for nothing; quite a few folk in and out of the Guild disagreed with miss Oinn’s business decisions, regardless of their reason for being made. Money was certainly not the issue for this woman, Silvon knew very well, and was willing to bet it was because she was still on the infamous no-job list the Guild purportedly had for those rare individuals whose reputations would tarnish the Guild’s just by association.

Silvon did not blame them one bit.

“For my own sake, then,” the lilac-dressed human insisted, one hand on their chest as they gave a shallow bow, “I would like to have the makers represented. They already have… an idea to help the specialists out.”

Sitting on the edge of the wooden desk, Vissara huffed, crossing her legs to show the red bottom of her far-too-expensive heels as her foot bounced rhythmically to her thoughts.

Sensing a chance, Silvon went on, “They also have some connections worth pursuing for information I’d like to utilize.”

“Oh?”

A faint smirk graced Silvon’s lips for just a second as they straightened up, seeing genuine curiosity in the woman’s eyes. “Not everyone in the Guild is as… morally stagnant as the Guild itself can be.”

Recognition flickered in Vissara’s eyes as she understood what was being implied. Red lips thinned as they stretched into an amused, cold smile, revealing perfect teeth behind them. “If that’s the case, then assist away.” Gracefully, she waved a hand, palm up, as both a gesture to continue and as a dismissal.

Taking this chance, Silvon nodded and turned to the door, leaving as it slowly creaked shut in their wake, leaving the horrid woman to ponder over her choices in isolation. Quickly, Silvon stepped out into the garden of the estate, barely aware of the flock of snow-white Cygnus cranes occupying the pond that took up most of the view from the patio. A few of them peeked up at them as they passed, but couldn’t be bothered to do anything except stand there, as per their programming. No matter.

At the edge of the lawn, far from any possible devices or ears, Silvon cast a quick eye around before pressing their left earlobe between their fingers. In the same moment, they opened a comm link screen on the wrist unit made to appear like they were on a call in the event of possible eavesdroppers. The call did not go through on the comm however. Rather, the lens of their glasses blinked as small numerals danced at the edges, establishing a direct link to a hidden number; the haptic activator had been a bit uncomfortable at first, but earlobe call implants were becoming more common and were far easier to hide than wires and watches were. No one thought twice in passing about someone rubbing their ear, after all.

The comm link flickered to a screen that appeared to be connected just as the real call connected in the lens of Silvon’s glasses; the fake screen showed a generic company link profile titled ‘Exxona Company’ with a number and site link that, if used, would connect to a working webpage and comm relay.

Just in case.

The true call going on in Silvon’s ear was lacking in any flourish, the relay screen only showing a string of characters that denoted the private link and an indicator they were connected. A click assured the call was answered, despite no voice confirming such.

Quietly, Silvon spoke, just enough to be heard by the recipient.

“The skies are clear. We are ready to take wing.”

“Thakk me.”

Head in her hand, Jenn stared a hole into the wall behind her desk, foot tapping rapidly against the cel-metal flooring of the lab. Her pulse was thrumming–-she could tell purely based on the fact her collar bone was practically vibrating in her chest–-but nothing short of a macrodose of numbing sedative was going to fix it. Over and over, thoughts cycled, replaying the day, the talk, trying to find something to latch onto. An angle, a detail–-anything to begin explaining the cockamamie situation she found herself in with any amount of plausible rationale.

But there wasn’t any.

“So then I make some,” she affirmed, speaking out loud to try and distract her mind as she got up and began to pace between the desk and the table. The lab was both secure and soundproof so there was no way to be overheard–though it also necessitated she leave her guests unsupervised yet again until she had her thoughts squared away. “‘Walk yourself through it’ as dad would say.” Pausing, Jenn turned on her heel and yanked her chair from its position at the desk, hauling open a drawer rife with pens, rubber bands and other office paraphernalia to find an erasable marker. Clearing space with a sweep of her arm, she climbed onto the desk and sat, knees sprawled, to better reach the whiteboard full of miscellaneous bits and bobs that covered most of the wall over her desk.

She popped the cap off the marker with her teeth and began to write, dragging random magnets that littered the edges of the board into place to help organize her thoughts as she scribbled down the things she knew so far. “They’re from here…” Pulling a paper map fragment down from the corner of the board, she drew a large circle over an area near the bottom and stamped it into place with a magnet, the marker cap plopping into her lap. “The storm dropped them here.” The marker squeaked as she made an arrow. “So they likely got yanked here…” Another squeak.

Glancing quickly between the points, she began to write on the board itself an equation. “Class-D means lowest possible wind speed… the ridge is about… that far across… to make it here then they probably hit the peak of the arc here…” A few moments later she’d plotted a handful of probable distances and velocities to reference off of, a smudge of marker on her hand from erasing mislabelled numbers. “Alright so they survived that fall, and regular market grade alloy tends to be decorative, not functional.”

Pausing, she turned and pulled the elusive binder toward herself from where she’d shoved it moments before, flipping the pages to the section labeled ‘Sunrise and Moondrop’. On the left hand edge of the base diagrams were notes about material grades; she tapped the casing list with her finger. “Yeah, alright, exactly what I thought. Durmacite’s inherent tensile strength is barely better than copper, so they’re definitely not In Market.”

Jenn’s eyes skimmed the diagram for what felt like the hundredth time. “I knew that though.”

Tearing her focus back to the board, she wrote these observations down. “Military grade material, likely a titanium alloy of some sort, or ceralium if they really didn’t cut corners… then there’s that stuff.” Jenn’s free hand balled into a fist, voice dropping to a murmur. “I haven’t been to that city in ages, so if they were after me why would their location history be from E’rta? None of their parts had the institute’s logo on it, so it couldn’t have been their work…”

After a moment, Jenn began to scribble a shape onto the board. “There was a logo though.” Imperfect a recollection as it was, the symbol was legible; two Xs stacked atop each other with a single dot in the center where they met. It was unfamiliar to her. “So that’s probably their maker… or at least the parts supplier. The company wouldn’t buy in what they could make at the institute–” Her hand dropped onto her thigh, the marker tip tapping her leg wetly and causing her to jump. “Shekt.”

Futilely, she wiped at the mark on her leg but it only smeared more, leaving a bright, red streak behind. “Fine, whatever.” Huffing, she fidgeted with the marker in her fingers, trying to reclaim her train of thought.

Jenn didn’t notice the small, purple smudge climb its way out of the vent hole above her head.

“Those stooges shouldn’t be able to afford shoelaces, let alone the material to build two Infiltration Class units, nevermind it’s super illegal to do so.”

Laa slipped down from the ceiling and hovered behind Jenn’s shoulder, peering at her patiently.

Stomach twisting, Jenn swallowed and found her throat dry. “Alright… so let’s say they aren’t from the institute or the company. They apparently got here by accident, and have no idea what they are, let alone built to do.” Glancing into her lap, she found the maker cap had rolled off somewhere. “--piss.”

Laa cheeped at her.

Screaming, Jenn flailed–with a rush, her knee slipped from the edge of the desk and took her with it, her body slamming into the floor with a clatter and bang. The marker sailed to the far side of the lab, papers scattered–the purple companion tilted her head curiously at her mother who was laid out on the ground, senseless and groaning. Some minutes later, Jenn finally picked herself up, head and neck throbbing from hitting the metallic floor with all her weight.

“Laa,” she chided, “What have I told you about that? You can let me know you’re there when you get there .”

The small unit stared for a moment, then peeped once dismissively.

“Yes, it’s rude to interrupt but it’s also rude to scare the piss out of someone.”

Laa peeped again in the same tone and turned to look at the board, leaving Jenn to pick herself up slowly.

“Actually, now that you’re here,” the human mused, noticing her companion’s focus on the notes and pointing to the X logo, “can you do a quick search for this symbol or any variations of it? For parts and materials suppliers of Task Managers.”

Giving an affirmative whistle, Laa studied the logo for a bit before her eyes began to flicker–a second later she stopped and shook her head.

“Ah,” Jenn grunted with surprise. “That was quick–what do you mean no?”

Craning her head up, Laa projected a small hologram from the mark in the center of her display that read ‘No Matching Results’.

“Well… that’s not right.” Concern was becoming the dominant feeling in Jenn’s mind–not for herself, but for the robots in her house–as every answer she found only brought more questions and none of them were good. “There’s nothing?”

Laa’s eyes flashed again for a moment longer, searching for anything that matched the logo even slightly, but it ended the same: a slow shake of the head.

Hand to her mouth, Jenn’s mind began to race once more. “Military parts from an unknown manufacturer, runaway bots from a city I haven't been to in months, no reaction to my prodding and no desire to stay put…”

“There we go.”

Jenn turned the corner, hot on heels–tails?--of the flickering lights only to halt as the threads scattered, winding down various corridors filled with shimmering blocks of memory displays on either side. Awestruck, Jenn walked slowly, taking in the cycling loops of memory snippets carefully as she passed each one. Most–actually, almost all of them–were in the same locations: a white marble office with a single, dark desk in the middle; a lush garden under willows that sheltered beautiful white Cygnus cranes in the grasses; a dining hall decorated with banners emblazoned with company logos, dozens of bodies milling about with a group clamoring around a tall figure that could only be the Sunrise model; a room with a single window in the ceiling where Uls peeked in, faintly illuminating the bedsheets; a small space full of dust and cleaning supplies.

Over and over the same places, a frightening number of them being scenes of empty rooms–though that could simply be missing context due to the selective nature of the snippets chosen to represent the larger memory. It wasn’t until the datestamps began to read as recent that the snippets had some variation to them; curious, Jenn reached out and placed her hand on one of the clips, pulling it out from its module. The screen unfolded into a large display, the scene taken from Moon’s perspective being one of a lacquered wood floor laid in a complicated, repeating diamond pattern–it shifted as he lifted his head to see Sun standing tip-toe, stretching to tie something onto the highest point of a pillar, one of many that lined the edge of the room.

Jenn swiped the screen away back onto its module; as she pulled her hand back, something ashen caught her eye. On her fingertips was… residue?

That’s not normal.

Faintly, she could hear them talking about something or other, but the details could wait. Pulling the screen out again, Jenn ignored it to place her hand into the module itself where the screen had been, rubbing across it and pulling back to find her palm fully darkened by black, metallic dust. Without thinking, the human leaned into the panel vacancy and started rubbing the alcove carefully, brushing her fingers over the surface–a jagged bump caught her ring finger. Tracing it slowly, she realized it was a crack, masked by the deep, black soot to be invisible at a glance.

Jenn followed the line of the crack steadily until it reached the edge of the module and disappeared; she found she could almost wedge her fingers into the wall if she pressed hard enough, but all that it managed to do was cover her in the burnt residue filling the alcove. Jaw set with concern and curiosity, Jenn closed the panel once more and marched to the next turn to try and find another trace of the crack that shouldn’t be there.

She made a hard right at the next junction–

“Yikes!”

Scorch marks.

They were everywhere, cutting into the floor and walls, some of the edges still seeming to smolder with purple and green embers. It was as if a wildfire had ripped through the corridor, chewing its way through modules and files in its rampage. She knew then this was not a normal system failure.

She’d seen this before…

It was some minutes after that horrid discovery that Jenn confirmed the worst; while Moon deigned to question every choice and request she made, Jenn took it upon herself to get answers. She’d found an uncorrupted memory file nearby and played it side-by-side with the burnt one, finding an odd bit of dialogue between the brothers that started the entire path of confusion she currently found herself on.

“You can’t genuinely think we’re going to stay here? Can you?”

They had been arguing–vaguely, she’d realized it was the very argument she’d caught a stray fragment of while on her journey to recover her binder. It was baffling to know that they weren’t meant to or intending to stay there, as it fully contradicted her initial worry they were there to kill her. With that knowledge, regardless of whether she was supposed to know it or not, plus the other scant details she’d picked up all served to reinforce the wiggly feeling in her gut that doubted what her fear first tried to force on her.

These two were not here to hurt her.

She was not their target.

“Laa.” Jenn’s voice was soft and low. “Have there been any newsworthy incidents in the area in or around E’rta City the last… month or so?”

Eyes flickering, Laa found a handful of articles in seconds, each one popping up as a haptic prompt before the small robot. Picking through them, Jenn swiped away any that didn’t quite fit what she felt she was seeking; for each one that she dismissed, another filled its place. A dozen of them were banished back to the depths of the e-web before something finally caught her eye.

‘Anti-Relocation Protestors Crash Celebratory Banquet’.

Her gut twisted and her heart skipped in a dreadful way, which she knew as a feeling to be obeyed without question. Opening the article, Jenn’s blue eyes skimmed through it rapidly; as she did, she focused on certain words just long enough that Laa’s eye tracking picked up on it. The purple bot found reference-paired articles relating to the terms and had them at the ready for her mother to open when needed.

This was a rabbit hole that needed to be explored thoroughly.

Moon jolted, coming to wakefulness suddenly. Initial scans of the immediate environment came back clean. Vaguely he knew where he was despite it not being terribly familiar, yellow eyes darting quickly from corner to corner, seeking changes or disturbances.

Door: shut.

Lights: dim.

Couch: occupied.

He paused, focusing on the couch a moment longer. The occupant rolled, a long, golden arm slipping off the edge, dragging along the floor.

Just Sun.

Relieved, Moon picked himself up from the lounging seat, stepping lightly on the balls of his feet; he knelt and gently placed his brother’s arm back on the couch, leaving only a lingering stroke of the finger against the lanky robot’s head. Rest, Moon thought to him, standing and taking a step back with practiced, silent ease.

Something had woken him, but it hadn’t been Sun’s tossing nor any change in the room he could perceive. Closing his eyes, Moon listened, focusing on the air, the lights with their nearly silent hum–-a faint sizzle.

Sizzle?

Brow furrowed, Moon exited the lounge room, moving methodically through the small house; the sound was louder here, coming from around the curve. Olfactory sensors also picked up on an odor that was somehow familiar, but not in a way he could place: oily, thick, vaguely sweet. With quick, light steps, the dark robot made his way to the source of the sound, coming to the edge of the doorframe leading to the kitchen. Something within moved just out of sight.

He pressed his back to the wall, head tilted to catch any faint sound of someone approaching but only heard a clatter and clink. Dishes being moved? Shuffling. Bubbling.

Moon felt something wet brush his fingertips. Taking a glance, he saw water had gathered in dark bubbles along the tips of each digit, at the ready for him should he need it. He tucked his prepared hand behind his back to keep it hidden and half-crouched, reaching for the doorframe; the occupant made another loud clatter.

He stepped, turning into the kitchen–-

Blue eyes met his, his step faltering just a fraction. Something clicked in his head.

“Well-woken,” the human greeted him, one hand holding a flat wooden spoon while the other gripped the handle of a cast iron pan wrapped with a dish towel. “Sorry if I made too much sound.”

Moon stared for a heartbeat, confused, then flicked his fingers to dismiss the water still collected in his hand before she could notice he was hiding something. This was her house , what on Azil was he doing?? “Ah, no.” The sizzle was coming from the skillet. She was cooking. The smell was food. “I tend to wake up on my own. Heard… something and came to look.”

Jenn turned as he spoke, scooping spoonfuls of whatever it was onto plates; an ache began in his circuits, followed by a small notice on his HUD.

//Battery recovery limited; organic Re_cycler empty/

He was hungry.

“It’s just me, big blue,” Jenn mused with an odd amount of civility. “After yesterday, I figured you both would be pretty hungry so I decided to make breakfast. Is your brother awake?”

“Not yet.” Something was off. Searching the room, it was more or less the same as the last time he’d been there, yet he could feel a change in the air. The Sirius-–Rukbat-–was under the table gnawing away at something, Jenn was wearing the same clothes she’d been in before but she had her hair pulled back while working; for all intents and purposes, this was a normal scene in a normal house. Moon felt…

Misplaced.

“Well,” Jenn’s voice kept him in the moment, her tone much more open than he remembered it being previously, “come sit, I’m making kefin. I can go wake the sleeping princess.”

His jaw tensed, body already turning to exit the kitchen. “No, I can–”

Jenn snapped her fingers at him and pointed at the seat he’d used the day before, her eyes glinting with authority. “Eat.”

Sitting, Moon scowled as Jenn exited, gaze following her over the threshold; it was there that something caught his attention for a fraction of a second. The hem of Jenn’s shirt was hanging low on her shoulders as a strap slid from its place; as she corrected it, a twist of discolored skin beneath the fabric under her arm peeked out. Studying it acutely before she got too far, he realized there were other marks dotting her skin at her back mostly hidden by her top. Now that he’d seen one he couldn’t help but notice others in various places.

Scars? he wondered briefly, but she had turned the corner and was gone before he got a good read on them.

A tap at his foot got him to lean down and look under the table, unsurprised to see Rukbat staring up at him, tongue lolling happily. The canine waved his paw, tapping Moon’s foot again.

“Can I help you?” the blue bot wondered rhetorically.

Rukbat whined softly, jaws closing and opening.

“Are you asking for food?”

Jaws closed with a louder urf , his tail thumping against the floor.

“Well, this is mine. You should ask your maker.”

Ur-wurf.

“Excuse you.”

Jenn leaned into the dim lounge and peeked around, seeing nothing unusual. Sun was still laid out on the couch, the only piece of furniture that had a hope of holding his long self with any kind of comfort, facing the back cushion. Approaching quietly, the human took a moment to study her unexpected guest, the natural curiosity in her begging for a closer look.

Gold and white and orange, meticulously decorated and placed patterns of alternating color, rose tinted inner musculature structures, light-optic eyelashes that would shimmer and glow while awake–he was beautifully built, Jenn noted. Both of them were, bearing the same patterns and aesthetic choices though with minor variations here and there, one made of day’s warm hues and wakeful light and the other the dark, deep shadows and coolness of those rare nights where the Sky-Beyond-the-Sky was visible to all of Azil. Those patterns held weight to them, though, that made her skin crawl after everything she’d read. A sick joke they were not privy to know they were part of.

She laid her hand on the delicate shoulder of the golden bot and gave him a gentle shake. “Wakey wakey.” Nothing. She drummed her fingers against his cheek, cooing, “It’s time to get uuuuuuuuup.” His face scrunched a bit. “I made breakfast.”

Sun’s eyes opened, lashes flaring to life with light. He jumped slightly as Jenn snatched her hand back, radials blinking to life as he cycled into wakefulness and sat up. “Ah–hel–um–well… woken?”

“Geeze–” Jenn yelped, holding her hand over her eyes against the bright white and orange light Sun’s radials gave off in the dim room.

“Oh!” Quickly, Sun retracted the main array which brought his luminosity down to a more reasonable level. “I’m so sorry!”

Blinking the spots out of her eyes, Jenn picked herself up. “No, it’s fine, I forgot about the light. Anyway, there’s food in the kitchen, come on.”

Quickly, Sun got up, pausing only to fix his shirt before following the small human out of the lounge. As the lighting changed and grew brighter outside, he allowed his radials to fully reform, keeping pace at Jenn’s heel politely as she led him down the somewhat familiar hallway to the cluttered, cozy kitchen. He was somewhat surprised to see Moon already there, a plate lifted over his head to keep it away from the begging mouth of Rukbat who’d gotten up and placed his paws on the seat in an effort to nick a snack.

“Rukbat-al-Rami!” Jenn snapped, getting the canine’s ears to pin and tail to tuck as he crawled back under the table. “Yeah. You know what you did. Naughty.”

Sun tensed at her harsh tone, meeting Moon’s gaze as the dark robot slowly put his plate down on the table now that it was safe to do so.

Grabbing a dish off the kitchen counter, Jenn marched around the room to the door in the back; her gaze was fixed on the form of Rukbat as he slowly padded after her, looking dejected. “You know better. You’re being a bad boy.”

Both brothers recoiled slightly, Moon tearing his gaze from them in discomfort, Sun raising a hand in a plea. “Please don’t,” he tried to say, “it’s not an issue. You don’t have to punish him.” Moon winced.

Jenn raised a brow at Sun. “Punish him?” She opened the door, revealing it led to the patio. “I hardly think being let outside is a punishment. Besides,” her gaze snapped back to the canine, “he knows what he did. Bad bots eat outside.” The dish clunked as she placed it around the corner of the door, waiting for Rukbat to guiltily pad his way through so she could shut it behind him. “What? Did you think I was gonna shut him in a closet or something?”

Despite it being in a humorous tone, neither brother dared to acknowledge the claim, both avoiding her gaze as she looked between them. Sun waited patiently at the counter, Moon shoved a mouthful of egg and starch into his mouth. The silence was alarmingly awkward.

“Right.” Disquieted, Jenn served Sun his plate and poured herself a mug of kefin, offering them each a cup. Moon declined, but accepted water, while Sun quietly asked for more tea if it wasn’t inconvenient. “Sure,” she went about getting the mixture ready without hesitation. “How’re you boys feeling then?”

The brothers shared a look, Moon catching the faintest flicker of guilt in Sun’s teal eyes as he looked away abruptly; Moon’s shoulders sagged slightly.

Politely, Sun lifted a spoon of scramble to his mouth, a bit surprised to find it wasn’t unpleasant. Simple, lightly seasoned and buttery–a far cry from what he’d normally be given for breakfast. “This is good!” he blurted as Jenn placed the tea he’d requested in front of him, moving the sweetener over so he wouldn’t need to reach across for it. She remembered? he wondered faintly, murmuring thanks.

“You don’t have to suck up to me,” Jenn replied dryly, a half grin on her face as she leaned against the counter, cradling her mug of black, caffeinated bliss. “It’s just a scramble, I didn’t know what you boys liked so I went simple.”

“But it is! Isn’t it, Moon?”

He wanted to agree by reflex, but beyond the first bite to avoid saying anything, he’d failed to eat any more. Too many things bubbled in his head to allow him to focus on eating. “It’s… good.”

Jenn rolled her eyes. “Don’t lie to spare my feelings, I’ll make something more suited to your tastes later.”

Moon snapped his gaze to her. “‘Our taste’?”

She met him with the icy glint that he recognized. “It doesn’t take a genius to reason out that Goldlight Sunrise and Moondrop models tend to end up only in the hands of the very wealthy and affluent. People that can afford delicacies as snacks and rare ingredients as a daily staple. Or are you telling me you didn’t get fed?”

“You ask a lot of questions for someone who claims it's not your business.” Unwilling to share the details of their old lives even by accident, Moon shoved another bite into his mouth; he didn’t dislike the dish, but now he simply didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of praise.

“And you have a smart mouth for someone that was two steps shy of trespassing.” Jenn made a loud sip in her mug, the drink still hot enough to burn her mouth if she wasn’t careful. The roasted, dark delight made her groan slightly, eyes half closing as she enjoyed the bitter taste for a moment.

Sun studied her face as she relaxed, noticing something odd. Did she seem pale? With his middle finger, Sun gave a quick tap-tap on the table,a minute motion that served to get his brother’s attention discreetly. It worked, Moon’s eyes snapping to his hand, then to him in acknowledgement. Carefully, Sun flicked his gaze from Moon to Jenn and back, forming a silent question.

Does she seem tired to you?

With his signature nonchalance often used in public assemblies where they couldn’t talk openly, Moon masked his movements with typical gestures, tipping his head back to drink from his glass as Jenn took another sip from hers. Turning slightly as he finished, to give himself a better look, Moon opened one of his subsystem files and ran the program for companion assessment.

//HOST ACCESS ACCEPTED/

/OPENING: TM_moon10300.sys%CompAs_

>Specify: Jenn_%

>>Appending data_

>Assessing…

Just as Jenn seemed to catch he was staring, Sun asked, “Are you not going to eat?” which drew her attention away.

“I ate already,” she assured. “Benefit of being the cook, I can snack as I go. Gotta taste the food and all that.”

“As long as you aren’t sacrificing your pantry for us.”

“Nah, I needed to use those tayn roots before they went bad anyway.”

“Oh, is that what this is?” Sun pointed to the half-mashed, crispy bits of starch mixed with the eggs.

Moon would never not be grateful for Sun’s ability to engage in smalltalk at the drop of a hat. The assessment completed and sent a summary to his HUD, prompting him to turn away back to his plate while reading it over quickly. It didn’t bring up anything alarming, but he knew his scope of data was limited with how far apart they were; to be fully accurate, he’d need to be right in front of her or in physical contact to read her blood pressure and magnetic array.

He was absolutely not going to do that.

Despite this, there was something to Sun’s observation beyond that signs of potential dehydration and fatigue he did pick up on. Faint as they were, Jenn’s eyes had dark rings forming underneath them as if she hadn’t slept well; she also had indicators of synthetic mesh he hadn’t noticed before, most specifically along her neck and jaw on her right side. That, at least, was easy to figure out the cause of, given she was missing an entire arm on that side; he chalked it up to medical reconstructive surgery for the time being. Then there was her odd behavior.

She was being friendly. Cautious, but friendly.

Risking a glance, Moon froze as the piercing blue eyes he’d been avoiding pinned him to his seat for a moment, the color hard and cold as if he’d been caught. Had he?? Was he too slow?? Too clumsy?? Or was he overthinking it?

Just as quickly as the unsettling glare came, it went, her face relaxing and growing soft with fatigue. Moon could swear the rings under her eyes grew faintly darker in that moment. Unable to help himself, he inquired, “Did you sleep?”

She sipped her drink, venturing a full swallow now that it had cooled somewhat to a tolerable level. “I caught a few.”

Doubtful , he felt, opting to finish his meal before she could come down on his head about wasting food.

Sun had already completed his portion and stood up, taking the plate with him–only to stop dead, eyes widening. “What happened to your leg???”

Moon turned fully in his seat to look at Jenn, who was peering down at her leg where Sun’s sight was pointed. A giant red streak stood out against her pale skin so much he felt stupid for not noticing sooner–he was too busy looking at her face for tells or hostility!

“Oh, forgot about that.” With no sense of urgency, she set her mug down and turned to her kitchen sink to find a damp cloth, wiping away at the mark intently.

“Are you alright??” Sun was quick to circle the table, his rays turning and bouncing with concern as they returned to place around his head. He placed the dishes in the sink quickly and knelt to offer aid–Moon couldn’t bring himself to stop his brother, knowing the golden bot was still laden with guilt and likely to overcompensate in other ways for his mistake.

Thankfully, there wasn’t much to compensate for as the red mark simply wiped away with no trace of injury to show for it. “I dropped a marker on myself,” Jenn explained simply, tossing the rag into the sink. “Sorry for that, probably looked suspiciously bloody, didn’t it?”

“A bit,” Sun admitted, relaxing.

To himself as he finished his water, Moon remarked, It’s not the mark that makes you suspicious, before getting up and putting his own dishes away to wash. “Thank you for the meal,” he said flatly, stepping back to allow Sun to get up from the floor.

“No problem.” Jenn finished her drink and gave a hearty sigh. “I’ve got chores to do, feel free to roam or lay around. If you’re lucky and the relay tower is back up, you might find something on the television.”

TV held no interest to either of them, nor did laying around doing nothing.

Brushing past them both, Moon made sure to move away just enough that she wouldn’t touch him by accident, but for a half-second he thought she’d sent another cold glare to him in passing. Is she challenging me? he wondered cautiously, his back tensing against the idea. Or seeing if I’m buying her friendly act?

Sun, bless his circuits, couldn’t keep himself from doing nothing or standing aside while his host worked hard. Reaching out, he tapped her shoulder before she could leave the kitchen, rays pulling in bashfully. “Um, can… can I help?”

Any hint of glare was nowhere on Jenn’s face as she studied the golden robot curiously, a brow arching over her aqua eye as she considered his offer. “Yeah, sure I guess? It’s not much to do but if you want.” She shrugged, gesturing to the door down the hallway. “I’ll meet you on the deck once I get changed, alright?”

Against his better judgment, Moon muttered, “So you do have more than just your pajamas to wear? I’m shocked.”

Sun chided him, shocked, “Moon!”

This time, Jenn’s disdain was openly displayed, her mouth turned in a small scowl that could only read as ‘unamused’.

Unwilling to offer a reaction to her, he lifted one shoulder dismissively. “What? All I’m saying is she’s been wearing that outfit since we woke up, I was starting to think it’s all she had.”

“That is so rude!” Sun gave his brother a shake to emphasize his words but Jenn was also unwilling to give Moon the satisfaction of a reaction and simply walked away, leaving them in the entryway. “Why are you–”

Moon covered Sun’s mouth with his hand, yellow eyes flashing intently, voice low and quiet. “I’m not setting an expectation of tagging along or being invited. You can go with her, try to keep me apprised of her location. I want to look around a bit.”

Sun’s brow knit with concern. He pulled Moon’s hand from his face, also dropping his voice to a hushed tone. “Why?”

“Didn’t you notice her change in attitude today?”

Sun’s eyes darted to the side a moment as he thought. “A… a bit? Is that bad?”

“It’s too much of a change if you ask me. I want to make sure she isn’t planning something.”

Disappointment touched Sun’s face for a moment. “Moon, I really think you’re overthinking this. I don’t think she’s a bad person.”

“I didn’t say she was bad, I said she’s suspicious.”

That determined glint was back. Sun knew he couldn’t argue it without causing another blow up and he had no energy for that right now. “Fine,” he sighed, looking to the floor. “Just… don’t break the rules, please.”

“I won’t be if I’m not caught.” With an assuring pat to his brother’s shoulder, Moon turned to take the back door of the kitchen, intending to look around while their host was distracted. Her behavior was strange, particularly after their ordeal yesterday. Looking into his personal system so directly was far too enticing to her. That binder she wanted in the lounge was far too mysterious.

She knew something.

He was going to find out what.

The jungle was actually remarkably peaceful now that he wasn’t sprinting for his life through it, Sun thought pleasantly while waiting for his human host to meet him. Or perhaps it was more of a forest? What even was the difference? Small birds dipped from branch to branch, playing some sort of avian game that he tracked with his eyes, following the pop of color they made against the green-blue and yellow-green leaves of the canopy. There were far too many things he realized he didn’t know or understand about the outside world now that he was in it, but he wasn’t afraid of it now. This was a chance to learn and that fact was rather exciting!

It didn’t do enough to swallow the guilt he felt, however.

Elbows folded over the railing, Sun’s thoughts continually strayed back to the day before any moment he wasn’t forcibly observing something. What could he do? He’d apologized many times and Moon didn’t seem mad, but he also wasn't acting normal either. ‘Happy’ was not the word to describe his brother at any point, but the snappy, sarcastic attitude…

Well, it’s not new , Sun reminded himself, knowing full well Moon had… opinions about their old living situation. Colorful ones. But they were always shared in private, away from the eyes and ears of that woman.

Vissara.

Sun shuddered, shaking his head to remove the name from active thought. She’s not here. Rubbing his cheek, Sun looked to the grass to find something to focus on that wasn’t his shadowy thoughts. Moon was never openly hostile, he reiterated, finding nothing of interest to amuse himself with in the yard. Stone faced? Sometimes. Sarcastic? Absolutely. His snarky quips could usually bring a smile to Sun’s face, as they were often the thoughts they shared about their lives that he dared not vocalize, but never, ever had Moon been so openly flippant and callous with someone.

Stress, maybe? the golden bot pondered. A shadow passed overhead, prompting him to look up where Aquila was circling. The birds stopped their little game immediately, the trees growing still with anticipation. Speaking of stress…

Aquila rounded the clearing once before banking up and disappearing behind the house. A moment later, the birds began to flit about again as if they hadn’t been bothered.

Nature was strange.

Stress, Sun knew, could cause all kinds of bizarre changes in things. Plants could die suddenly, animals and people could become sickly or aggressive when they normally weren't; Moon was not an animal, but robots were susceptible to system collapse and parts failure if they were overworked or given too many tasks. Perhaps the two weren’t unrelated? Given their situation, he felt he would be more concerned if Moon wasn’t stressed about everything, especially…

Burying his face in his hands, Sun felt his rays spin and pull into their port slightly as shame blanketed him.

“Actually… that’s my fault.”

Eyes lingered on his face, a faint mix of concern and confusion; he wanted to melt away or dissolve into ash. Sun’s rays whirled and pulled in, betraying his shame-–not that he could hide it well anymore. Jenn’s visor cleared, allowing a better look at her face through the screen; she seemed confused by his claim, but only for a moment.

It was Moon was the most baffled and, faintly, hurt by the statement. Sun could see it in the flicker of his yellow irises.

With a quick motion, Jenn cleared off and removed her visor, setting it to the side; there was something in the set of her jaw and the glimmer of her eyes but Sun couldn’t identify it beyond a vague sense of disappointment–-or perhaps that was just him. “What do you mean?” she asked slowly, studying him for a reaction.

Fingers twisted up and over each other, Sun couldn’t take the staring and squeezed his own eyes shut, blurting out, “I messed up with the chip! It’s my fault!”

“I–” Jenn paused. He folded lower, wanting to crumple up and vanish tenfold. “I understand that, but I need to know why.”

“Sun?” Moon’s voice spoke up before the golden bot could form an answer, his tone soft but extremely confused. Of course, he probably didn’t remember the event; Sun pressed a hand to his mouth for a moment, trying to keep from reaching for his exposed head.

The truth, he told himself. Just tell the truth. Hands shaking, he inhaled and lifted his face, irises dulling to a gray hue of themselves. “It was an accident. I… we…” Explaining meant confessing. Moon didn’t want to share their motives with the human with blue eyes but there was no way to really get around it. They both deserved answers. “When… we were running and running and it got dark…” Memory flashes passed through his active mind. “You pulled me off the path into the bushes. I kept trying to talk to you but you told me we had to be quiet… You were the one who mentioned the tracking chips.”

Moon straightened slightly, brow creasing just a fraction.

“You were the one who warned me about the memory failure, that it was a risk…”

Jenn grunted, touching her chin. “That tracks, they were implanted right next to the CeMCA–” Both of them looked at her curiously. “The Central Memory Conversion Augment, it’s where experience data from your senses is collected, sorted and compressed into memory files. Only memory-related things are supposed to attach to it but I assume whoever put those chips in you did that on purpose to keep people from trying to tamper with you. A deterrent.”

Moon glanced around a bit as he thought over that statement until Jenn touched his head, telling him to hold still as she unplugged him. Cross, he tried to sit still, urging Sun to continue.

Squeezing his hands into fists and releasing the tension, Sun tried to settle to finish explaining. “You tried to… pull mine.” The fiber cable came loose just as he spoke, Moon jumping from the disconnect and startling Sun for a second, cutting off any comment or question the darker robot might have had. “I… I panicked, so you told me to do you first. I… think you were trying to show me it wouldn’t be so bad. But I was shaking so much… I…” His fingers laced back together tightly. “I tried and there was a spark–-something zapped me and you collapsed. It was only for a second but… that must have been when it happened. Then the footsteps caught up and I had to pull you up. You were disoriented and I didn’t know where we were going. The ridge…”

He couldn’t.

No more.

Sun fell silent and covered his face, feeling so very small.

Head sealed up safely once more, Moon pivoted and reached for his brother, barely acknowledging Jenn’s motions as she rolled her cables up and cleared the equipment away. Pulling gently, Sun sank into Moon’s grasp; though they couldn’t shed tears, they were capable of sobbing. A sick imitation of distress, Moon felt, that some twisted programmer thought would be good to include in their emotional replication processor. Azil knows they didn’t figure it out through imitation.

It did its job though, scraping his focus from everything that wasn’t Sun for a moment. Their Lock–-the Tidal Lock paired Task Managers could be given to help maintain their emotional health–-took precedence when distress occurred, muting or pausing any non-critical function to push their faculties into correcting the mental disharmony. Each pair was slightly different; their methods of addressing, correcting and soothing each other would be unique to them and their link based on their personalities and directives; even with that knowledge, Moon often felt incapable or ineffective in doing his part to keep Sun’s mind clear and sharp. All he knew to do was hold him close and hum.

Hum a nonsense tune measured in breaths that rarely failed to calm them by resetting their inner rhythm. He could hardly consider it his own ability to care for Sun’s wellbeing, as he couldn’t be sure there wasn’t some unknown program buried deep in their computer parts that forcibly reset them, regardless of what state they were in. Part of him hoped it was genuine effort, but another part wished, faintly, he didn’t have that responsibility.

Moon hated that he even felt that to begin with.

“It’s not your fault,” the dark robot murmured after a moment when his brother’s shaking had subsided.

“But–” Sun croaked back, only to be cut off by Jenn.

“Well, you’re half right.”

Moon’s eyes flashed dangerously to the human who was sitting back on her hands, seeming unfazed by the emotional distress being experienced in front of her. Sun’s breath shook once, then he stilled.

“What? Lying isn’t going to do him any good.”

“Shut up,” Moon bit out, the inner mechanisms of his legs coiling with the urge to fight.

Jenn didn’t back down though, meeting his eye with her own firm gaze. “Welcome to the real world. Shifting blame doesn’t remove consequences; it’s better to address it directly. Get over it, don’t bury it.”

Furious, Moon had to purposefully focus on his breathing cycle to avoid losing his temper entirely. Sun sat up, listening intently to the human but also subtly placing himself just the slightest bit in between them–-just in case.

“That’s quite the glare you have.” Jenn folded her legs, shifting to sit forward. “You can be mad, but it’s the truth. I’ve had to learn that the hard way, so maybe listen to the feral human living in the woods if you want to cut the crud and learn.”

Placing a hand on Moon’s knee to try and still him from his desire to tackle the human, Sun spoke carefully, measuring his words, “You… are absolutely right.” He could feel Moon reel back a bit, no need to turn and look to know he was shocked. “I did cause this… and I want to do anything I can to fix it.”

Jenn studied him–-both of them–-for a long moment. Sun could feel her eyes on him even as he stared at the grass, unable to focus; the weight of his guilt was somewhat alleviated now that he’d confessed his mistake–-oddly, the insistence of responsibility didn’t make him feel worse. How could he feel worse than he did already?

Rather, he felt motivated.

“Even if it means hiking cross-country through the wilds for days and days?”

That got him to lift his head, the suggestion too bizarre to ignore. Without hesitation, he agreed. “Absolutely.”

“Sun,” Moon chided, his voice a low warning.

Against his nature, Sun forced himself to ignore Moon, unwilling to give energy to any argument his brother might cook up to drop the idea or that would cause him to fold like a lawn chair under the slightest pressure.

Jenn stared a moment longer, expression some mix of unreadable blankness and a complex myriad of thoughts neither brother could begin to parse out. “Alright then.”

They sat, blankly ogling.

She seemed to realize they didn’t understand her, her mouth pressing into an annoyed line. “I need a few days to figure things out but if you’re really willing to risk getting lost, hurt or worse to fix this issue, then I’ll help you.”

Moon’s brows raised with concern as he barked a, “What?” having gotten caught on the ‘or worse’ part of her offer.

Sun was more hopeful than anything, eyes regaining some saturation. “You will?”

“Of course.” Gesturing with her hand, Jenn indicated Sun to come closer; he realized he still had a cable in his head that didn’t need to be there anymore.

“Hold on,” Moon said, struggling to wrap his mind around the claim of danger. “Why?”

Bluntly, as if already tired of repeating herself, Jenn replied, “It’s the right thing to do.”

Sighing deeply, Sun lifted his head. While he didn’t feel quite as bad after telling them what happened, he still felt horribly guilty. Taking responsibility felt… good, though. Moon might be bearing the brunt of his mistake, as usual, but this time Sun would correct it. No more vicarious punishments.

They weren’t on the estate anymore.

A soft laugh escaped Sun’s mouth as realization dawned on him. This wasn’t the estate. There were no rules here–-other than Jenn’s of course–-no expectations and ever-changing requests.

No more Vissara Oinn.

“What's so funny?”

Sun turned quickly at the voice that was growing in familiarity, looking up to the patio and stilling. Jenn was at the top, wearing a curious assortment of earthy clothing with simple patterns that he didn’t recognize. She sported a brown tank top that didn’t seem much different from her previous one, but her regular, human arm had a black sleeve pulled over it that wrapped around the fingers and tied across the chest-–a protective glove perhaps? Mossy green leggings with gold patterns covered her legs and matched the green, asymmetrical panel skirt that hung nearly to the ground in the front, a red and gold pattern of some sort twisting up the length and wrapping around her middle like a scarf. Completing the odd look were plain, leathery shoes-–were they shoes? They seemed soft, lined with fur and tied at the ankle with cord of some sort. She wasn’t barefoot at least.

Odd as it was compared to how he and others around him would dress, Sun found the outfit charming. Rustic and comfy. It was with a mild start that he noticed how the skirt fluttered as she descended the staircase, accentuating the sway of her hips with each step as she shifted in and out from behind the decorative panel. Surely that was some effect of the fabric, right? It wasn’t until she was level with him, moving something from her head to her hip that he even noticed she’d been hefting a large woven basket the entire time.

“You okay?”

If his face could burn, he’d be on fire, surely. “Your clothes are very cute!” Sun wanted to scream-–mostly at himself.

She gave a light laugh, seeming confused as she looked at herself. “It’s just gathering clothes, not really a gala gown.”

“They suit you!”

Her gaze was friendly, a faint smile on her lips that read to him that she was accepting of and baffled by his compliment. “Is that why you’re blushing or are your chromas acting up?”

Sun didn’t want to scream.

He wanted to jump off the patio and knock himself out.

“I am?” His voice was barely a squeak.

Tapping the side of her nose, Jenn mused, “The yellow parts of your face turned orange. Are they not supposed to?”

“Oh–” How would he explain that without lying?

Blessedly, Jenn seemed to lose interest in his emotive display, huffing in an amused way as she put the basket on her head and descended the final set of stairs. “C’mon.”

Thank you thank you thank you, he rambled to himself, trotting behind her quickly. “May I ask about the basket?”

“How else do we gather food?”

Gather food? Sun shook his head a bit and tried again. “Well, I assume as much–-but why are you carrying it like that?”

Jenn had her gloved hand laced into a patchwork panel on the side of the basket’s base to keep it in place, the woven material creaking lightly with each step she took, while her other hand pulled up the front of her skirt to keep it from snagging on tangles and brambles. “Cuz it’s a big basket…?”

I am not good at this , Sun fretted, being careful to follow her footsteps as precisely as he could–-Azil knows there could be tripping hazards in the grass if he wasn’t careful. “Why not use a smaller basket?”

“You’ll see.”

She was not good at giving answers either. Resigning himself to learning by observation, Sun ducked to avoid a branch that hung a bit too low at the edge of the yard; passing this point brought him fully into the jungle, the available room to move suddenly becoming extremely limited. It seemed that beyond the clearing Jenn claimed as her yard space, the ground was still overgrown and tangled up in roots and weeds, unkempt and wild. The gold robot prayed he wasn’t making a mistake by following her into the wild unknown.

#security breach au #robot #fnaf oc #sundrop #moondrop #free runner au #azil #oc #security breach #dca #free runner sun #free runner moon #daycare attendants

7 notes · View notes

sammysamstuff · 2 years

Note

a twink is literally a more or less defined term in gay jargon as "a gay male who is young (typically between 18-25) with boyish qualities (read: smooth/little to no bodyhair)" (and usually white and fashionable) (the same way "bear" is a jargon term denoting gay men who are fat and got body hair). it's got nothing inherently to do with being "weak" or "feminine" or even a bottom. it's got even less to do inherently with kink, so idk what your point was with that because it could be easily (mis)understood as you calling gay sex in general already kink. like it was a very weird jump to make in your argument.

on the topic of Will, he just straight up falls out of the very definition due to being older and quite scruffy.

like you've got a point with people needing to stop equating being a bottom to being weak, feminine, submissive and so on (plenty of twink tops out there in the world) but the way your post is worded, it comes across as incredibly confusing and self-serving (partially because i've also never seen the takes you're criticising anywhere before but that might just be me being in my bubble).

anyway long story short: twink just means a young, boyish gay man. will falls out of that category. very confusing post of yours.

Yes, I’m well aware of the meaning of the term “twink”. But thank you for the condescending ask in any case, anon, I’m a bisexual man in a mlm relationship, so I’m well aware of the terminology.

It’s clear like you said so yourself that you haven’t read the posts I’m referring to, but I’ve seen and read them and they were made by fairly popular accounts here. If you have indeed seen it and is playing stupid, well…

Not only the posts but the replies and the notes in both posts were clearly written by people who have no idea what they’re talking about and yet insist on trying to tell the fandom what to ship, how to ship it and most importantly, judging people negatively whether they use the term twink to look at/speak about Will Graham and “how twink is a fetishising term” that “should not be applied to him because it denotes “feminine, weak, submissive” which he’s not because he’s got “veiny arms” and is “scruffy” also “how could anybody think Will Graham could ever be a Twink bottom” “so disgusting” etc. Needless to say, everything in “” was in the replies and in the post itself.

Those posts were also saying that if you imagine Will Graham as a twink you’re fetishizing mlm relationships and you shouldn’t and how could you bla bla bla.

My post was in direct response to those posts and those replies. It’s not self-serving at all, I’ve posted the commentary of a gay man, who engages in sub-dom sex play and who is a bottom and who is explaining that there’s an equal power play in both sides. So if you consider yourself a twink and has a daddy and engage in power play, for instance, that doesn’t make you weak. Various arguments in the replies in one of the posts was “imagine thinking that Will Graham with those veiny arms would be some weak twink sub”. Being a twink, bottom, boy, pup, doesn’t make anybody weak or feminine, get it??

So yeah. Nice huh?? Such a nice fandom police we have.

Twink is a term that could be applied to Will Graham, or Hannibal Lecter and many other characters, it all depends on how you personally view them, it has nothing to do with canon. When I read my fics or imagine a young, skinny Will Graham I don’t imagine Hugh Dancy, but some of his traits are present but it’s not him. The same way that I when I imagine a young Hannibal Lecter, I don’t imagine Mads Mikkelsen, but a young, boyish (from my own imagination) Hannibal Lecter. So they can be twinks in my imagination if I want, in the fics I read or write.

Have you read the many different universes and descriptions of Will Graham across the fandom? Also, if he’s older and scruffy, I can also call him Twink ironically, if we’re following the definition of the term, I’m allowed to use irony and humour to play with my favourite characters. We call Will and Hannibal DILFS and that’s fun, but we can’t call them twinks because that’s feminine, weak, bottomy and not what they are at all? Like it’s offensive???? Pffttt please.

#hannigram #ask #anonymous ask #anon asks #anon reply #hannibal

7 notes · View notes

itsclydebitches · 3 years

Text

Hi, everyone! I’m taking this post seriously, I swear. Given everything that’s gone down on YouTube, Reddit, and here on Tumblr the last two days, I wanted to take a quick break from my “The Indecisive King” recap to comment on Twinns’ video. From what I’ve seen thus far, reactions have focused primarily on Twiins’ tone and the “Get over it” message, which is no surprise given that those topics have the most impact on the community at large. Putting forth an analysis that many others don’t agree with is just inevitable—especially for those of us who post fairly frequently—but responding to that disagreement in a deliberately insulting, dismissive manner is precisely the sort of behavior everyone in the RWBY fandom should be trying to work past, whether they’re critical of the show or not. Frankly, at this point I can’t say anything that others haven’t already explained more eloquently. I agree that any of us who can’t “get over” specific characters or plot points have no right to demand that others do the same. I also agree that “get over it” is an unproductive take for an ongoing webseries. Even putting aside both the need to look at the show as a whole and the fact that not everyone has been having these discussions for 2+ years (I often see new fans voicing “outdated” opinions), we’re still left with the racism and White Fang (supposedly) being a major part of the franchise. Blake is still relevant as a central character. As is Yang. As is Weiss. Adam’s impact extends far past his literal, living presence on screen. Or at least it should.

So I agree that telling fans to get over things we’re personally not interested in, assuming that any part of RWBY has a storytelling sell by date, and generally approaching online discussions with an antagonistic attitude are all things we should strive to avoid. I’ve spoken out against cancel culture in the past and I hope to emulate that perspective here: while I fully understand and support anyone who needs to just block and move on, I hope that as a community we can peacefully move past this, whatever that might look like.

That’s my “Gotta reference the major points” intro. As said though, this has already been covered extensively the last 48 hours. Rather, what I’d like to do here is to bypass the drama and look at the actual analysis Twiins has put out. I’m a fan who never particularly liked Adam, but I do understand others’ severe disappointment in his character because I’ve felt that for the characters I am invested in. These questions of if and when he changed—and potentially why—are questions I’m interested in by default, even if they’re applied to a character that’s far from a fave. So I’d like to add a few arguments into the “What’s up with Adam?” conversation.

And yes, I’m excruciatingly aware that a video about getting over Adam has reignited numerous debates about Adam. I’m just gonna set the irony aside for another day…

My thoughts are far from organized here, but something I wanted to begin with, that Twiins doesn’t include in her vid, is the implied age difference between Adam and Blake. We’ve established that he doesn’t have much of a character prior to appearing in Volume 3, but that’s not the same thing as having no character at all. I agree entirely that all we get are tiny bits and pieces, but audiences will inevitably latch onto those pieces to try and get a sense of the character prior to them becoming more relevant to the plot. It’s the writer’s responsibility to ensure that those details accurately represent the character (unless you’re tricking your audience) and the viewers following the logic of those implications isn’t the same thing as full-on headcanoning. If anything, the little we get of Adam pre-Volume 3 holds more weight than, say, any random thing a member of Team RWBY does in a given episode. That’s because we have the expectation that, as someone with very little screen time, everything Adam does and says is put there to make the most of his quick appearance. The character with 100 lines of dialogue can throw out 10 lines that don’t amount to much, or are even a bit OOC sounding, without raising an eyebrow because hey, we already know them so well. The character with 2 lines of dialogue had better make them count and no viewer expects to later hear, “Those lines, that very little you had to go on for years, are actually meaningless.”

So to get back to the point at hand, something as simple as the presumed difference in age carries weight for our understanding of Adam pre-Volume 3. I can only speak for myself, but hearing Blake call him a “mentor” combined with that gap implied a non-romantic relationship to me. I certainly don’t mean that a couple years gap is impossible, I’m only highlighting that Blake is 17 and Adam is in his early 20s. Adam is head of a civil rights movement and Blake, when she leaves, goes off to school. We understand now that Beacon is closer to a college than the normal, shonen high school, but the very early Volumes nevertheless capitalized on those tropes. The girls wear goofy pajamas, have food fights, put up boy band posters, are explicitly called “children” by Ozpin… paired next to the older, more sophisticated Adam out in the “real world,” yeah, Blake feels like a kid to me, actual ages notwithstanding. Add in her “mentor” comment and I more readily assume she was Adam’s partner in the platonic battle sense, rather than his girlfriend.

I’m also not persuaded by the moments that Twiins interprets as romantic. In examining the Black Trailer, she argues that they’re likely in a relationship because “They’re clearly comfortable around each other.” But by that logic, all of RWBYJNOR are in relationships with each other too. The familiarity needed to pull of something like a team attack is just a necessary part of having a partner in battle, perhaps even more necessary outside of the Kingdoms if we believe Blake’s comments about how dangerous it is. We could perhaps read something into Adam briefly carrying her, but that’s also not a move given solely to romantic couples. If Adam is dating Blake because he bridal carried her to safety in the middle of a fight, then Ruby is also dating Weiss.

I mean, the White Rose shippers would be thrilled, myself included, but that’s not the point of this post!

Other details that Twiins highlights likewise aren’t persuasive to me. The “sad piano music” that plays when Blake leaves is, imo, fitting for two long-time partners splitting in such a sudden, regretful manner. And yes, I can actually picture someone saying that a non-romantic partner is “very dear” to them. Give Penny the line, “Oh yes, I love Ruby. She is very dear to me!” and I wouldn’t bat an eye. Earlier, in reference to the train scene, Twiins argues that you don’t give that kind of emotional goodbye to someone who is “just your teacher,” but this line of thinking precludes the possibility of a relationship existing between “Teacher” and “Boyfriend.” Quite obviously, a plethora of relationships do exist. You can love someone without being in love with them and, more importantly for this conversation, not being in an established relationship. Do we really believe that no one else in the cast would give an emotional goodbye to their combat partners/friends accompanied by sad, heartfelt music? In Volume 8 we see Qrow cry-yelling his nieces’ names, Jaune crying over Penny, and Blake crying as Yang falls, but only one of those is presumed to be romantic. Love abounds in RWBY.

The rest of Blake’s speech here, from Volume 3’s “Destiny,” Twiins reads as referencing the abuse:

“I had someone very dear to me change. It wasn't in an instant, it was gradual—little choices that began to pile up. He told me not to worry. At first, they were accidents. Then it was self-defense. Before long, even I began to think he was right. This is all just... very familiar.”

The problem for me is that Blake is comparing Adam to Yang and here, the accusations against Yang has nothing to do with domestic abuse. If Blake had compared them during Volume 2 when Yang shoved her? Yeah, then we’d have a strong case for saying that Yang’s physical violence against Blake, something she would likely excuse as just her trying to snap Blake out of her funk, a meaningless mistake, feels “very familiar.” But Yang has been accused of using excessive force against an opponent—or an enemy within the bounds of the tournament. That doesn’t sound like a reference to Adam abusing Blake, but rather Adam taking violent action against humans; a political approach that says more about his rhetoric than it does his personal life. Indeed, we’ll see this exact scenario in the flashback of Adam’s short. Ghira says that, “There’s no need for violence” and then Adam immediately takes out the entire band of humans, finishing by killing one.

After the other White Fang members cheer at his “heroic” deeds, we cut to him and Blake post-mission where he says: “Blake, I’m sorry. I told you it was an accident.”

“At first, they were accidents.”

I think it’s pretty clear that Yang’s actions are making Blake think of how her partner’s civil rights approach turned deadly, not how her romantic partner used to physically harm or stalk her. Even the short doesn’t give us anything explicitly romantic between them. Again, if Blake putting her hand on Adam’s shoulder in an effort to comfort him is romantic, then Ruby is dating Jaune as well as Weiss.

Twiins is absolutely right that all these details could be read as romantic, but they also could just as easily be platonic. It’s when you combine them with additional details that they lean towards the latter for me. Like, for example, how everything else about Adam in Volumes 1-3 surrounds his civil rights obsession, giving no indication that there’s a Blake obsession to go along with it. Twiins dismisses the scenes with Cinder because they don’t mention Blake, saying that, “There is no character here.” But that’s working under the assumption that Adam’s character is, inherently, all about Blake. The fact that his early scenes aren’t about her is the very thing that works against the later, single-minded focus on Blake that he adopts, making it feel like it came out of nowhere. Those moments, though brief, still paint a picture of his character, one in which he is a leader of the White Fang, with enough power and influence to attract our villains, and—as others have already pointed out—someone who treats Blake as a side-mission at best. When told by his subordinates that they’ll find her he goes, “Forget it!” That is not a moment that sets up the kind of obsession we see later in the series.

The best evidence I think Twiins gives for the relationship is the Beauty and the Beast allusion as well as pointing out that RWBY has a long history of making their villains abusive. In regards to the first point, however, Twiins herself acknowledges that Blake is meant to be Beauty and the Beast, simultaneously. Yes, Adam as Prince Adam is very much a thing too, but making Blake both characters warps the parallel from the start. More importantly, if we take the allusion at face value anyway, that implies that they would later become a couple, not that they were a couple in the past. Beauty and the Beast is the story of a cursed man who has grown violent in his isolation and needs to learn from Belle how to be kind again. There’s even a moment when Belle runs away from him in fear, only to be saved by the Beast and reconsider her feelings for him. If someone threw me back to the Volume 1-2 days and told me that this fairy tale was absolutely crucial to Blake and Adam’s future plot, then I’d go, “Okay, so Blake is likewise going to be saved by Adam at some point, reconsider her choice to leave, and over time teach him how to approach their movement in a less murder-y fashion.” The implication I wouldn’t pull is, “They were in a relationship before the story even started, an abusive one, and it’s only going to get worse moving forward.”

As for the abusive villains, yeah, it’s absolutely a trend. I’ve commented on it myself with a fair amount of frustration. The thing is though, no one is arguing that Adam isn’t abusive. They’re arguing that he unexpectedly became abusive in Volume 3. Twiins equates his other villainous acts, such as leaving the people on the train for dead, with abuse more broadly, but they’re not the same thing. Arguably all abusers are villains, but not all villains are abusers. That’s a particular type of villainy that, as discussed, Adam doesn’t display until the Beacon fight. So the criticism is asking why that suddenly showed up with, for many, little to no setup.

Minutes before his death, Blake will yell at Adam for stalking her across Anima and I think fans are right to wonder where that kind of obsession came from when, previously, Adam was the man who told his men to forget her. Yes, all we had early on were clues, but what do those clues amount to? An older man whom Blake calls a mentor, who is singularly focused on his mission to free his people, and who treats getting Blake to re-join the cause as a potential bonus, not a priority. Given that, I can absolutely see why so many fans were thrown by the “Hello, my darling” and have argued that a version of Adam was erased to make room for that. It wasn’t a particularly detailed version, but it wasn’t non-existent either. Fans didn’t headcanon in the sense of blatantly ignoring major parts of the canon to come to their preferred conclusion, or simply make up something off the top of their heads. They had a show giving them scraps about a character for three years and rightly assumed that these scraps held meaning; that what little we got would eventually piece together into a character that felt consistent across the series. Instead, it felt like a very distinct swerve into a new characterization. If the abuse was written badly, which Twiins admits frequently that it was, that can—and I think does—include a lack of setup for the abuse at all. If we agree that RWBY is horrifically inconsistent in its writing, why is Adam the one time it’s supposedly not? Taking a character, giving them one personality, only to drop that and transplant a new one, is a standard RWBY move. As Twiins likewise points out, it often happens in the same scene. If RT can’t keep track of their characterization across a few minutes, it’s hard to say they kept Adam consistent between his early appearances and the Battle of Beacon.

In the end, that swerve might not be so bad if RWBY had done something with it, but we lost the potential of that vague Volumes 1-3 Adam and likewise got a terribly written abuse plotline in its place. Twiins says that it “Doesn’t change anything” if Adam wasn’t conceived to be abusive from the start, but I think it changes a lot. Putting aside the fact that it potentially changes our understanding of him for the first three years of the show, fans are primarily mad because that focus on abuse left no room for the original civil rights narrative. RWBY wasn’t able to manage both and in choosing what can be read as the new and sudden characterization, everyone who was invested in Adam’s role as a freedom fighter lost out on that story. Normally yes, some part of me would agree that it’s solely the writer’s story to tell. So what if it didn’t go in the direction we wanted? It’s not our story. But in this particular case, RWBY was playing with themes mirroring real world concerns, deliberately capitalizing on the emotional investment of people seeing themselves and their struggle reflected in the faunus plotline. That’s more than just taking the story in a direction fans didn’t want, that’s trivializing a very personal and sensitive topic. You don’t just get to drop that like Ruby’s weapon obsession. Racism plotlines are not a cool personality quirk to forget about when you get bored writing it. Or if you do drop it, expect fans to still be angry about it years later.

Ultimately, I don’t agree that Adam was an inherently boring character without having Blake to stalk. I think RWBY failed to write him in a compelling manner outside of those interactions—Twiins points out the huge failure that was Volume 5—but that’s not the same thing as the concepts themselves being worthless. That’s like saying Ruby, as a character in an action show, shouldn’t be a part of the war because look, all she did for that fight was sit in a mansion. The writers’ inability to execute these ideas well doesn’t mean the ideas themselves—Ruby being a part of the fight against Salem, Adam being a violent civil rights activist—are duds. This is a character who, in his final moments, reveals a SDC brand across his face. I know supplemental material says something about an accident, but we’re not talking about the supplemental material here. We’re talking about the webseries. So the webseries keeps this man’s face covered for six years and then finally reveals the brand of a title hero’s family logo, heavily implying (whether it’s intentional or not) that he was their slave. As Weiss fights a military official to get back into her own Kingdom and leverage her family’s wealth in this war, the minority character her family potentially enslaved for that wealth finally reveals his personal connection to the discrimination he’s been fighting since his introduction.

What’s not interesting about that?

That’s the character we might have had if Adam had been more than just Blake’s stalker post-Volume 3; if he’d been allowed to be both. Even overlooking everything else I’ve discussed, that brand on its own obliterates the idea that Adam was only interesting because of his history with Blake. Or because fans supposedly only see him as some personal fantasy. I can assure you, nothing about Adam is my fantasy, but that doesn’t mean there aren’t aspects to his character—aspects that the Battle of Beacon arguably pushed to the side—which could have really benefited the story and been intriguing to watch unfold.

#rwde #rwby #abuse tw #mymetas

84 notes · View notes

hamliet · 3 years

Text

What Does It Mean to Save?

I keep seeing it said that Deku, Ochaco, and Shouto will “save” Shigaraki, Himiko, and Dabi, but that there will be no redemption and/or no survival for them. I’m truly not trying to vague these posts and everyone is entitled to their opinion, but literary criticism is fundamentally responsive so I’m writing this anyways.

I personally think that’s not BNHA’s definition of saving nor of redemption. So here, have a deep dive into literary tropes related to redemption, genre, and character arcs as they pertain to BNHA and the question of: what does it mean to save Shigaraki, Touya, and Himiko?

Before we begin, let me say that while we might be personally uncomfortable with redemption (there’s a redemption arc in BNHA I am personally quite uncomfortable with), that doesn’t inherently mean the narrative won’t go there. The key principle I’m operating on here is BNHA’s message that heroes save people. It’s held up as the highest ideal.

So let’s talk redemption in BNHA-verse. With this guy, whose redemption arc I dislike in principle but accept as part of the story so don’t come for me stans and/or antis. I’m analyzing because it shows us what redemption means in BNHA-verse, whether or not that is satisfying to you personally as it fits/does not fit with your own morality/philosophy.

If Endeavor can be redeemed and live, and he’s Bakugou’s negative foil, I highly doubt Shigaraki and Deku as well as Touya and Shouto and Ochaco and Himiko will be any different. Why? Because Enji is an adult character. The others--well, Himiko’s age we don’t know, but we do know that Shigaraki and Dabi are technically adults. But does the story consider them adults?

(It doesn’t.)

Child-coded characters are generally more likely to survive a redemption, which I’ll explain more later. First I have to define what I mean by child-coding, because I DO NOT mean this in the way it’s often (mis)used in fandom wank. Child-coding is a real thing, but it is not done to infantilize and it has nothing to do with shipping.

Child coding frames the character as a child for a few narrative purposes to convey a story’s theme or purpose. For example, if it’s a coming of age story coding a character as a child even if they legally are not emphasizes their journey to an understanding of self-actualization, or a true understanding of self with self-awareness and an understanding of self-value. An example of an adult coded as a child is The Kite Runner, wherein Amir is a legal adult for half the story, even married for fifteen years so we’re talking 30s-40s, but he does not truly become an adult until he returns to his homeland and takes responsibility for a childhood sin. In Attack on Titan, the main characters are now nineteen, but are still struggling to take responsibility as adults and have only started doing so now that their mentors/parental figures have started dying.

Along those lines, in any kind of story, you can code a character as a child of someone, regardless of biological relationship, to convey the type of relationship they have (usually a mentor one). For an example of this, see Bungo Stray Dogs’ Dazai and Akutagawa. Despite their two year age difference, Dazai recruited him to the mafia, abandoned him, and Akutagawa desperately seeks his approval. Usually in these stories a character will “overcome” their parental figure. This can be done through overcoming their need for the parental figure’s approval in stories where the parental figure is kindly (such as in Harry Potter, when in the final book Harry, Ron, and Hermione leave the Weasleys to find the Horcruxes despite Mrs. Weasley’s please) or through like, killing/stopping/leaving the parental figure when they are abusive (see fairy tales like Rapunzel and Cinderella). The parental link to self-actualization is because it is childlike (and a part of actual psychology that is reflected in literature) to see yourself as a part of your parent; self-actualized person would see yourself as a distinct person from your parent, but also acknowledge the ways in which they’ve shaped you.

So, how do you code a character as a child? BNHA isn’t subtle about it, because Horikoshi seldom is subtle about anything. The villain trio are all coded as children.

Shigaraki Tomura:

Who cannot achieve self-actualization so long as AFO has access to his body, as he’s literally trying to possess him. He’s trying, but it’s not gonna work because Shigaraki can’t keep AFO and become an adult at the same time. It’s a choice the narrative is setting up: your dream of destroying, or your freedom? (To get the latter, he’ll probably have to destroy AFO).

Todoroki Touya, who is repeatedly emphasized as a small child when compared to his siblings, and yes, I know he’s now tall. Specifically he’s spotlighted as the child of Endeavor:

And he’s the least self-actualized one in a lot of ways, contradicting himself constantly. I’m not Endeavor, DUH! But these are Endeavor’s flames! He’s gonna have to choose one or the other, because the tragic irony is that the more he takes out his rage on those around him, the more like Endeavor he becomes.

And Toga Himiko (who might well literally be a legal child), who is actually the most self-actualized one thus far, because she rejects Curious’s child insistence (Curious holds her in a Pieta pose, based on Michelangelo’s statue wherein Mary holds a deceased Christ):

She’s still got, like, a way to go though:

Because Himiko also wants to be like the people she loves to the point where she loses her own identity in them, which is er, not self-actualization. So she’ll have to choose whether or not she really wants to be like the people she loves or whether she wants to live her own way, which she herself tells us how that would end (death):

Deku said it himself: it’s good to focus on what someone is doing now. And look, I have issues with this statement and how it’s framed. I’ve talked about it at length and it was doomed to fail because Shouto himself told us long ago that it was annoying to hear a righteous speech by a stranger when you hadn’t gone through the same, plus Endeavor kinda failed by choosing being a hero over a dad here. But, the principle is that if the past doesn’t preclude Endeavor from seeking a better self, why would it preclude three characters coded as children, one of whom is literally somewhat the product of Endeavor’s sins? BNHA doesn’t think the past keeps someone from a better future.

So what about Dabi’s counterpoint, which is indeed valid? Well, redemption doesn’t mean the past forgets, either. It’s complicated and nuanced, and we can debate how well Horikoshi strikes this nuance (it’s got its flaws), and admittedly I don’t know how this will go down in the future. But it is asking Endeavor: how do you redeem yourself to the people you’ve hurt? And we have Endeavor asking this question to Touya’s shrine. I mean, the foreshadowing is obvious. Endeavor has to redeem himself by trying to save Touya. However, it will still probably come down to Shouto to save Touya.

For our three villains, it’s a little harder to predict... well, sort of. For Shigaraki it’s extremely obvious: he has to help take down AFO. Dabi probably has to do something to help his family (siblings probably), but it’s vague. Toga needs help and not condemnation, but presumably she’ll help Ochaco with something.

So, is this redemption? I’d define it as redemption in the eyes of the narrative. To address what makes a redemption is another essay unto itself, but if we bring in the oft-compared Star Wars example: did Darth Vader get a redemption? Did Ben Solo? Everyone says yes to both. However, only Luke witnesses Vader’s redemption, and only Rey Ben Solo’s. So the rest of the galaxy? Doesn’t think so. When I say they’ll be redeemed, I’m defining it as their role in the eyes of the narrative, not whether or not society will accept them or even whether their victims will forgive them (of note, in canonical novels, Leia never forgave Darth Vader despite learning he was her father and obviously knowing Luke’s account of his redemption was true).

So, redemption in a narrative doesn’t mean all of society has to forgive and accept them. Dabi has still like, murdered 30 people--many of whom were thugs, but he himself acknowledges they didn’t deserve to die. Additionally, he himself also acknowledges that the families left behind--their feelings matter:

But why does that mean they have to die? Why even does it mean they have to languish in prison forever? (If there’s even a safe prison at the end of BNHA which I kinda have doubts about.) Heroes have also killed: see Hawks as Exhibit A. In fact, some people want revenge on the heroes precisely because they arrested or killed their loved ones (jail isn’t held up as a rehabilitative place in BNHA’s world. In most countries it isn’t in real life, either, but again that’s for another essay). So why don’t the League’s feelings on Twice’s death matter just as much as the feelings of unnamed and unseen (and thereby less important narratively) characters?

Additionally, regarding death... the villains routinely get called on their death wishes. Himiko’s determination to decide how/when she dies is called out because this is right before Twice overcomes his trauma to save her, and the next arc they appear in is when Twice dies trying to save her again. Dabi’s suicide wish keeps him from getting close to others, and it keeps getting thwarted. Shigaraki’s obsession with destruction and death is clearly not a good thing, and his rejection of his family’s desire for them to join him in death this past arc is growth.

In other words: what Dabi said and what Snatch said about families and how they feel matter for the villains too. The villains are their own weird found family (Dabi as the deadbeat prodigal brother of both his families). Their deaths--Magne’s and Twice’s thus far, and I’m not ruling out further deaths in the future--affect the others. People’s feelings on losing loved ones matter. The villains are people, as Himiko said herself this arc:

Their feelings about each other matter:

How would Touya dying affect the Todorokis? At least they saved him spiritually, I guess, but that’s absolutely lame narratively, and if you have Enji eventually do a sacrifice to save Dabi (pretty likely, even if I personally think Enji will survive said sacrifice) then what’s the point of Dabi dying? How would Himiko dying affect society? As a martyr like Curious wanted her to be, even a redeemed one? A tragic warning story? What even is the point of Ochaco saving her if that’s the case? If Shigaraki dies, well, who would mourn besides Deku? How would Shigaraki dying affect the surviving members of the league? He just couldn’t be saved physically?

It’s not impossible some of this happens, but it doesn’t seem like great writing, especially with panels like, oh, these that show us BNHA’s perspective on death:

Sacrificing something is a type of death that occurs in stories; this should happen in a redemption arc, which is why I’ve been saying Enji needs to sacrifice his hero reputation to help save Touya and even then it’ll still be Shouto imo who does the saving. But physical death?

If you want further analysis of the latter two panels and how they relate to the ending, see here.

We already have another villain who will definitely die redemptively (Kurogiri--an adult coded character--because he’s already, like, dead), and Spinner and Mr. Compress aren’t coded as kids so I hold them with anxiety towards the end. But again, this isn’t me being ageist or saying this is the way things ought to be in fiction or real life: it’s me looking at writing tropes and saying that child-coded characters tend to survive their redemptions. See: Zuko. Why? Because the death of children or child-coded characters is a tragedy. When a child-coded character dies redemptively it doesn’t feel like a happy ending and if framed as such, it’s often criticized for bad writing (see: Ben Solo). Curious even called this out in her fight with Himiko. I would hope Horikoshi doesn’t end the story being like yeah Curious was right that’s the best use of Himiko’s/Dabi’s/Shigaraki’s arcs:

Additionally, as for the believability of a character getting a new chance after so much destruction and murder... well, it’s kinda a thing in shonen and even in seinen? For better or for worse, it’s a thing. We have Vegeta in Dragon Ball Z and Kaneki Ken in Tokyo Ghoul (Kaneki, by the way, is absolutely an inspiration for Shigaraki). We can debate how well-written these redemptions are (I personally have been quite critical of Kaneki’s despite wanting it to happen narratively), but it can be done. BNHA’s Japan especially isn’t as harsh a world as Tokyo Ghoul’s Japan, so it would make even more sense for something like Kaneki’s ending.

The reality is that the cycle of revenge via hurting people and then leaving hurting families and loved ones has to stop somewhere. Someone has to be the bigger person and step up and be like “naw.” That’s heroic. That’s brave. That’s sacrificial itself. Justice itself doesn’t really exist in its purest form without mercy.

There’s another genre-reason I don’t see death or jail as likely (I could see, like, maybe a mental health ward like Rei’s? But it’s too soon to speculate).

If saving is considered a good thing for the story, if it’s truly the highest ideal, then saving someone should be rewarded by the narrative. The characters who save should have a positive result to show us this a good thing.

This is why it doesn’t work for the heroes’ end journey to be accepting that some people cannot be saved. The notion of just accepting that you cannot do something, you cannot save everyone, you cannot, cannot, cannot, is called out as a flaw of society. Determination, on the other hand, is rewarded.

We see it with Deku as well as with Mirio.

So, what if they save them and the redeemed characters then go on to sacrifice themselves in their redemption and die (come to the same end)? If saving changes absolutely nothing for the saved person, if it’s too late for the saved from themselves to change and/or do anything that matters besides die, then the narrative theme of saving as important is left unemphasized at best and undermined at worst. Simple intrinsic knowledge that the kids “did the right thing” doesn’t cut it for a story with so much focus on physical saving when the kids are already doing the right thing; moral struggles about whether to choose to be good aren’t really Deku, Ochaco, or Shouto’s arcs. It works for Aizawa’s arc with Kurogiri, but not for the kiddos. If BNHA was more of a philosophical/spiritual text, that would indeed make sense, but it is not. Genre-wise, BNHA is a fantastical superhero optimistic story, not a gritty real-world set drama.

636 notes · View notes

goldenfharry · 2 years

Note

I'm sorry I get where they're coming from but just because things were exaggerated doesn't mean it wasn't disrespectful. it still was and that is the issue. I'm not going to go out of my way to defend a man who fat-shamed people on a technicality of "don't exaggerate" he's still a scum. Don't defend him wtf?? yes people in the fandom overreact but Howard is absolutely horrible. period.

Going to weigh in also as someone who’s about same age as 🌌. They’re not defending Howard she’s explaining his interview with Harry. I’m just going to be blunt so TW; I grew up with Howard Stern and he built his empire on being outrageous, obnoxious and obsurd. Just go watch his film. No, I wasn’t a fan at all. But he didn’t want or need my approval to become what he is. It’s the same for all of you that know him now because of Harry. The irony is he waaaaay softer now than he used to be. You can’t compare so you can’t even realize how easy he was on Harry. I’m telling you he skirted around all of the hot topics that in the past he would have bullied him over. The other thing I noticed is he tried to cover a lot of ground with Harry’s past and it came off as very harsh. Think of it as he was going through a list, you parents divorced, your dad left, you had a stepdad, he died. It comes across as so harsh but he was rushing through a lot of info. Was a style choice and not intentionally being mean to Harry. Not defending Howard I’m trying to point out some things I noticed so maybe it helps you a little going into this new interview. Now that I know the questions will be pre-screened (thanks to 🌌), I’m feeling better about it. He may touch on O, but that means Harry’s allowed it, he’s able to handle it, and most importantly him admitting to something about her does not make their relationship real. Ever. It doesn’t change anything. Remember Harry’s playing the PR game too. 😌-✂️

Despite being young, i already said that my musical taste is quite “old”. So i know what you mean when you say that he is more soft now compared to old interviews, since i’ve watched old interviews of him before (I did not met Howard through Harry). For example, he did an interview with Foo Fighters not long after Kurt Cobain’s death. At that time, everyone new that this was like a forbidden subject for Dave, but he still mentioned it without giving two fucks about it (sorry for the language lol). It’s really his style and the way he is known for, he doesn’t care, it’s his brand image. So i understand both perspectives. I don’t agree at all with him, his attitudes and lots of affirmations that he said before. Specifically on Harry’s interview, the therapist part... That was a big “no”. But i understand why you and older people are trying to explain your point (and that doesn’t mean you are defending him!) Like i said yesterday, i’m pretty sure Harry is very aware of everything right now, with this second interview. I believe that this won’t be as bad as it is being portrayed!

I love you ✂️ anon! 🥰

#✂️ anon

8 notes · View notes

cryinginthebackseat · 3 years

Text

you’ve got more poison than sugar - part i

AO3 part ii

Fandom: Call Of Duty

Pairing: Russell Adler x Bell

Words: 4.009

Summary: Russell Adler should have known better that it wouldn’t take an entire nation or continent to bring him to his knees.

Warnings: just swearings, sexual tension, blood, mentions of past abuse and brainwashing. adler being that manipulative asswipe like usual.

Author’s note: i don't know what i'm doing. one moment, i was watching the walkthrough of the new call of duty game, found myself curious, acutely curious by that guy with the scars and shades on- a younger, shadier (no pun intended) Robert Redford in Spy Game and oh my... fast forward to 2 weeks later, here we are.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

A house somewhere on foreign soil,

Where ageless lovers call,

Is this your goal, your final needs,

Where dogs and vultures eat,

Committed still I turn to go.

I put my trust in you.

A Means To An End - Joy Division (1980)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It's mystifying how little she talks. Or when she does, it's always in fragments. Like a crossword puzzle in your local newspaper, but several letters are missing. He initially thought maybe MK-Ultra fucked her head or worse, if it hasn't worked at all, but the more he watches her, the more he realizes it's just the way she is. And it's ironic because he named her Bell. He expected her to chime like a goddamn goldfinch yet here they are.

But he won't be fazed. Russell Adler is a man who's stopped at nothing in getting what he wanted before, he sure as hell won't stop now for a close-mouthed science project.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“We've got a job to do, Bell."

It intrigues him, every time, the way the words trigger something deep within her psyche, the way her eyes change, her body stands a little straighter, like a machine ready to function at his disposal. It reminds Adler of one of those cartoons he watched when he was a kid about wizards and magic words, except there are no musical dance numbers playing in the background or a talking cricket perching on his shoulder. This is his power over her, over the USSR, over Perseus. That monstrous filth. It really does take a beast to tame another.

Although he surmises calling Bell one would be superfluous.

She barely looks like one, but Adler knows too well than to underestimate her. Just because Bell hasn’t shown her set of claws, that doesn’t mean she’s harmless, delicate, like a miniature China Doll in his breast pocket.

Bell never offered him her reply before, but now, now, she nods, head almost bows, obedient pretty thing, and says:

“Yes, Adler.”

So it goes.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

It takes West Berlin for Adler to realize she’s left-handed.

She wears her watch on her right hand, smokes with that same said hand only when she’s writing or moving her pieces for an impromptu late-night game of chess against Lazar. And she always wears her gloves all the time- leather, black, lined with silk and pretty, small buttons on the cuffs, covering those striking red nails underneath. Whether it is for the theatrics or an old habit of hers, he can't really tell.

He doesn’t know why he begins to take notice of these mundane details about Bell, but rationalizes because he’s never been in the same room with this version of her, post-brainwash Bell, for more than 10 minutes. And for all intents and purposes, there’s still a lot of question marks surrounding her character; who is she? Where did she come from? What is her connection to Perseus?

Are they in a possession of a walking, breathing bomb about to destroy them all or the West’s only salvation?

He supposes he’ll find out soon enough.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Adler hears Bell from his table, typing busy on the computer- barely blinking- all soaked up in that caffeine-infused energy at 1 am. She's always like that, he learns, when it comes to working, always with that steel determination, pulling out all the stops as long as it gets the job done- that Soviet discipline at it's finest.

Reminds him a little of himself when he's young.

Adler walks up to her.

“You done for the night?” A shake of her head is her only response. He sighs. “You should go home, Bell.”

“You go. I’ll lock up behind you,” Bell replies, low and monotone; that youthful stubborn.

If she was any other person, he would probably commend her for such fierce willpower, but she is Bell, the walking conundrum, his ace in the hole. Call him paranoid, but the idea of her having the safehouse for herself does nothing but raises every alarm in his head.

“No, we’re going home,” he says instead, tone brooking no argument and she frowns at the screen, her fingers stop moving then looks up at him with those goddamn empty eyes. "Come on, it's late anyway."

She doesn't say anything. Adler wishes he could read her mind- or crack that lovely skull on the back of her head, dissect her brain, learn its secrets and answers.

Adler has his gun with him. It wouldn’t take long. A quick, true shot to the heart to keep the brain intact. He’d have Hudson contact one of his people inside BND and he'd deliver the brain himself if he has to. They could do it. He heard they’ve been studying inmates' brains for decades now, anyway.

Before he has a chance to entertain the idea further, though, Bell nods once and rises up from her seat.

Bell walks past him. Her scent, like honeysuckle on ice, hits him like an uppercut in the face. Adler inhales, as if against his will.

He thinks he could get drunk on it.

“Hop in. I’ll drive you back to the hotel,” he says once they’re outside, regretting the decision the moment the words left his lips, but he knows he can’t just leave her on her own at this late hour.

The irony isn’t lost on him, though, considering he just thought about unspooling her brain a few minutes ago.

Bell complies without a protest. Getting inside the passenger seat, wordless still, fingers toying with the radio. An angry, krautrock music comes blaring all over his car. Adler winces, but at least the riot is loud enough to muffle the one's brewing in his head.

"How's your memory these days?"

Bell shrugs. "Nihil novi sub sole." There's nothing new under the sun.

Good, he muses. The least she knows about herself the better.

Though that doesn't mean he's out of the woods yet.

"Listen, from now on, I want you to keep me informed if there's any new progress about your memory or if you've developed any new symptoms. I want to know everything." He steals a sidelong glance at her, making sure she is listening (she always does, but Adler needs an excuse)

(An excuse for what?)

"Alright, Bell?"

"Of course," replies the woman in question.

"Good." Adler shifts his attention back to the road. "Good." Taking a long drag, he considers trying to appeal to her sentimental side. It's not something you'd improvise last minute- at least not with someone you brainwashed to believe you are her mentor/confidant for the past decade, but he's itching to know where he stands with her.

"You know, I'm just tryin' to look out for you, kid."

Her lips twitch but the rest of her visage remains impassive and faraway, more like a flick knife than a woman. The correlation is uncanny.

That's when she inches closer. The space between them bridged. He freezes. Hyper-aware of just how dangerous this is, but can’t bring himself to pull back, to look the other way. Not when her hand reaches out to pluck the cigarette from his mouth, eyes still glued to his, and curls her lips around the filter. One heavy pull, and then she rolls down the window and tosses it out on the side of the road.

"Thought I'd reciprocate the sentiment."

And with that, she leans back in her seat before Adler could even process what has just transpired.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Welcome back to the land of the living, kid,” Adler greeted her, about a month ago.

Park had insisted that he had to be there for her when she woke up (naturally, Adler had balked at the idea, but at the English woman’s fact-of-the-matter explanation, also because it had somewhat dawned on him last minute the logic behind her machinations- “both of you are supposed to have known each other for years now. If she doesn't see you by her side, she’s going to wonder why”- thus, here he was)

“How are you feeling?”

Bell blinked owlishly and stared at the older man with those bottomless, cat-like eyes that had haunted him since January.

Her gaze eventually softened as recognition flickered across her face.

“Like someone just hit me in the chest with a bulldozer,” she said hoarsely. “Where are we?”

“St. Dismas’ hospital, Pittsburgh.” Adler got up and fetched her a glass of water from the table. “Although not a bulldozer, but bullets did. That, and you hit your head really hard on your way down. Thought we’d lost you there, Bell.”

Bell drank in silence. She’s still watching him, thinking. This was the first time he realized that he couldn’t exactly read her expression and somehow that threw him off.

“What happened?” she asked, one hand mid-air, like she was deciding which to touch first, hesitating and abandoned the idea.

“You don’t remember?” She shook her head. Adler pretended to look remotely distressed about it. “The doctors warned me about this. It must have been because of the fall- heck, I could even still hear that sickening crunch from here.” He dragged his chair closer towards her bed.

“We were in Amsterdam. Remember Fohler?” she shook her head again. “Well, we’d been tracking this son of a bitch for months, but we were chasing him in Amsterdam. He was running away and climbed up some scaffolding. You were about to go up after him,” he recited the fabricated story he, Park and Hudson had crafted. “He shot you and you fell and hit your head against the pavement.”

Bell looked away first, silent. Her hand gingerly touched the back of her head and winced, albeit only slightly.

Adler was almost impressed, if not, disarmed by how calm and composed her reaction was to all of this. But then again, after having had witnessed first-hand how the woman barely flinched under any kind of interrogation technique they threw at her- a personality built for wrestling tigers- he really shouldn’t be surprised.

“Bell, what is the last thing you remember?”

Bell frowned. “Not much. I remember ‘Nam, but-”

“Vietnam? Kid, that was thirteen years ago.” Adler watched the way her throat bopped, like she was swallowing her own blood and the color drained from her face, just like the first time he’d seen her, and proceeded to drop the bomb:

“Bell, the year is 1981.”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

"Bell dear, would you mind taking a look at this?"

Park's voice sails from across the room. She says it like it's a compound word: Bell-dear. Like the two words belong together. Bell-dear. 2 syllables, 1 word, 9 characters and that just might be the weirdest thing he hears this year and he heard many things.

"Bell dear?" Adler asks much later, his gravel-and-smoke voice reduced to a whisper, when she delivers a document to his table.

Park shrugs as if that explains everything. "What? I like her."

He's tempted to say you really can't put a term of endearment and someone you brainwashed into submission in the same sentence, but what else is new?

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

They wind up in a bar. It’s called Die Stube and the place’s brimmed with artists and all sorts of leather-clad, Bowie-esque dramatic, chromatic blue eyelids young people chattering over a dirty cloud of smoke.

The two of them colonize a lone booth in the back. It’s dark and the quietest. She orders a beer and he, a scotch and they drink in silence. There are moments where her head would twist to the side, as subtle as a needle and survey the phantasmagorical scene before them, like studying something from a petri dish.

While he’s watching her.

Only to tear his gaze away to the nearest object he can find.

It lands on his watch.

"It’s almost ten. Hudson's contact should be here soon," he announces, if anything to distract himself. She nods mutely in reply, as always, and runs a finger around the rim of her glass.

"The place ain't much of your scene?"

She shrugs, like it's self-evident. "I didn't know this was a scene, though."

"Well, that’s West Berlin for you. A worry-free playground for the hedonists, hipsters and proto-electro NDW enthusiasts with drugs on tap," Adler says, sipping his drink in practiced nonchalance. "Always makes my head spin."

"I guess I remember it differently," Bell replies, tinged with something akin to begrudging.

That warrants his full attention. "What do you remember?”

Bell shrugs again and lights a cigarette instead, menthol, one of those long, skinny cigarettes they only market for women; biding her time, making him wait. She lets the smoke flares from her nostrils so her eyes are veiled.

"It’s hard to explain, but I suppose it’s grittier?” she gesticulates, searching for the right word like she’s skim reading the entire Oxford dictionary in her head. “Bizarrely, infinitely grittier and dimmer? Like being in an underground tunnel and there's not much to see."

Interesting. Maybe she’s recalling one of her ops for Perseus or her mind is confusing her with the world on the other side of the wall.

“Maybe you’re remembering one of our clandestine ops here. It was a few years after Vietnam,” Adler supplies, passing over the tale like bait.

She falls for it, hook, line and sinker.

“Ah, I guess that also explains my fluency in German.”

“I taught you that.” It’s only logical, he decides, that she learned from him. She’s supposed to be his protégé after all.

An elegant brow quirk. "You did?"

"Yeah, though you were already fluent in Latin, Russian, Vietnamese and Portuguese when we first met anyway. You have quite a natural ear, kid.”

She gives him a look. He really can’t categorize it, but it makes it a whole lot harder to fight against her stare.

“What else did you teach me?”

If they were anyone else, the lines could have a potential to entice, to seduce, that winsome, catty-eyelashes coquette, but they aren't anyone else and Bell does not voice it like that. Yet the implication behind the question stirs something in the pit of Adler’s stomach anyway, that tight knot of confusion as it is buried with something else and he finds himself, once again, uncharacteristically speechless.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

That particular question of her stays, even hours later, unbidden. Interspersed with her scent and face.

His emotions are a minefield whenever she’s near now. It evokes that newfound rush of terror within him, like walking on a tightrope or being thrown into the pit to face hundreds of hungry lions, bare hands. It makes Adler questions his every decision, and he can’t have that in his line of work.

Adler lights his sixth cigarette, contemplating everything, nothing. Anything to distract him from her. It's 4 am and he’s exhausted, but his mind won’t stop whirring. This isn’t like him at all- like he's lost somewhere in a Dali-style labyrinth that is his head and he wonders if this is a byproduct of his fear or fascination or confusion for the young woman.

He fears it is all of them.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

(They're only 10 minutes away from East Berlin when he senses it, something akin to burning on his peripheral vision, pulling him like weight.

Bell is staring at him from across the seat.

He cocks his head slightly to the side.

Adler catches the quick, telling quirk of her lips, like she's about to smile but lights a cigarette instead.)

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

“Did you hear that?”

Krauss has just crossed the wall and their soles are slippery from the rain. She's panting. Her breath is white like a fog. Adler muses it must be from the running, until his iris trails down to where her hand is clutching his jacket sleeve, the leather creasing like a modulation signal.

“What is it?” Adler asks, hushed. There are no Stasis here, but even one can't be too careful.

“The TV.” She’s gaping at the broken TV next to them. Adler looks at the said object, frowning, then back to her. “Y-you didn’t hear it?”

"Heard what? Bell, the thing's dead."

Bell withdraws from him. Stepping back until her back meets the walls, her eyes seeing and unseeing, like a lens finding focus in the dark, then she closes them, as if trying to regulate her breathing. Adler has never seen her scared shitless of anything before. The sight confuses as it intrigues him.

"Bell, what's going on?" Adler steps closer, but he dares not to touch her.

She shakes her head, dismissive. In just a span of seconds, Bell dons that mask she likes to wear again; deadpan and frustratingly distant. A spike of annoyance drives through him. Just when he thinks he can get through her, there she goes again, retreating behind her palisades.

"Nothing." Bell turns away abruptly and she’s walking again."Let's just go. The others are waiting for us."

He doesn't pry about whatever she heard on the TV- Adler knows better than to beat a dead horse, thank you very much- not even after they save her from Volkov's clutches, after she bashes his head against the steel door and reeks his blood all the way home, it seems superficial at the time.

Until two days later.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

The day starts, as it mostly does for the team, with a briefing.

Fifteen minutes in and something like a gasp pulls his attention to her.

That’s when he notices it; her hands are shaking, coffee spilling out of the mug over her hand. A shatter follows. Her mug smashes to smithereens at her feet. She’s swaying, near collapse, like a house of cards about to fall, a hand on her nose.

Adler catches her before she tumbles to the floor.

“Bell!” His arm around her waist tightens, trying to keep her steady. Lazar rushes to their side in a flash and helps him move her to a nearby chair.

"Jesus Christ," he curses, more to himself than to her as he watches blood, a bead of angry red, trickling down her nose. "Sims, get me a washcloth from the bathroom."

He kneels before her once Sims returns with a damp cloth. Nicotine-stained gloved fingers tentatively grasp her chin, holding her still.

“Kid, you alright?” Adler asks, worry bleeds into his voice without him realizing it. He firmly presses the cloth under her nose, his other thumb touches the pulse at her throat- it's almost sickly affectionate. “Bell, talk to me."

Bell looks at him, discombobulated, like he's a figment of her imagination, then blinks. Again and again until she heaves a deep breath.

"I-" she hisses. One hand flies up to her head. "Fuck. My head.”

Adler’s eyes immediately search for Park’s. A knowing look passes over her face and he knows without saying that she's thinking the same thing, like they're attached to the same brain-wire:

MK-Ultra.

There’s a fraction of pause, then Lazar asks, "Should we give her something?”

Before Park can voice her answer, Bell beats her to it. "I already took an anticonvulsant this morning. It should have helped.”

“Wait, this has happened before?” Adler asks.

Bell looks away, a hesitating look shadowing her face. He fears the worst.

“Bell…” he tries again, a slight warning to his tone.

She sighs loudly, as if mentally preparing herself before walking into a storm.

“Yes. Two days ago."

His mind instantly refers to East Berlin, the TV. Trying to connect the dots in his head. It seems far fetched, but now he wonders if she saw something that triggers this. Although he's never read about this on other subjects before, the correlation is just impossible to ignore.

Fuck. He heaves a breath, willing himself to calm down, to think. They can't afford complications at times like these. Not when there's so much at stake right now.

Adler snaps his attention back to Bell when she tries to scramble awkwardly to her feet, swatting his hand away. The hand on her neck immediately reaches for her waist again and pushes her back down onto the chair. His grip's tight enough to leave marks on her skin, but he doesn't care.

"Bell, for fuck's sake, stay still or so help me," he says, exasperated, not letting go of her waist.

"I feel better now." Stubborn little shit.

He is tempted to scream at her face and grab both of her shoulders and shake. “The hell you’re not. Stop fighting it. You’ll only make things worse.”

Her face sours, if only for a millisecond before it morphs into guilt. “I’m sorry.”

Adler watches her for a long moment. It’s only now that he realizes that he’s still holding her waist and the cloth on her face.

He backs away from her like he’s been burnt.

“You should have told me. I thought I made it clear the other night to keep me informed regarding this,” he scolds.

“I’m sorry,” she utters again and she looks so pliable like this, a blank canvas perfumed with obedience and lethal mind. It makes him almost feel sorry for what he has in plan for her once the shit show is over.

“Look, just go back to the hotel and take a day off.” Her mouth cracks open. He raises a silencing hand. “That’s an order, Bell.” But she merely scowls, looking more like jagged ice than a person. Hudson may have just met his match, after all.

“I told you I’m fine.”

“That’s not how it looks to me.”

“It is. It’s my body and I know what I’m feeling, and I’m telling you, I. Feel. Fine.”

His jaw clenches. “Are you disobeying a direct order, agent?”

Bell doesn’t answer, but her whole face remains challenging and hard. Undeterred.

Adler holds his breath. He feels the whole room collectively does the same. It’s like staring down the barrel of a gun and there’s an awful sort of danger to be found in that.

Just when he thinks an imaginary bullet would dig itself into his skin, however, Bell utters, “Of course not.”

And so the woman resumes to her normal, docile self at a drop of a hat. Even when Park steps in and whisks her out of her seat, drives her back to her hotel with Lazar on shotgun.

It doesn’t assuage his worry, though. He’s still restless throughout the day, like a roaring ocean inside a bell jar. She’s never done this before, openly rebels against him. Now, the situation is just bad. Not casually bad or almost-got-shot bad, this is the-entire-Europe-could-turn-into-a-nuclear-wasteland bad, an-armageddon-waiting-to-happen bad.

What if this is the beginning of her old self trying to scratch her way out of the surface? Adler’s blood goes cold at the thought. He is going to have to keep a close eye on this development.

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

West Berlin - 1 am, local time.

“How is she?”

“Stable. I’ve administered another dose of Propranolol before I left the hotel. She should be fit as a fiddle in the morning.”

“Tell me, what do you think happened to her?”

“My theory? Traumatic brain injury. A cumulative product of torture, trauma-based mind control and chronic stress. I've read reports about cases like these before in MI6. None of them is still alive to recount the tale, unfortunately."

Adler grips the phone.

“How long do you think we have?”

“Theoretically, 2-3 weeks tops.”

“But?”

He hears Park sighs on the other line. “But then again, none of the subjects I’ve encountered before were like her. So, I suppose it’s still a little too premature to determine at this point."

Adler kneads his temple, feeling the start of that familiar Bell-induced headache forms in his head. Can things just be fucking simple for once?

“We don’t have that much time anyway, Park. And if Hudson gets a wind of this, he’ll want her gone by morning. I can’t let that happen. Not…” he pauses. “Not when we are this close.”

"What are we going to do about her, then?"

Adler sighs.

"Raise the dosages of her drugs,” he says. “And keep an extra eye on her. I think we may be heading into uncharted waters now.”

Tagging: @mvalentine cause you said to tag you with everything i write so 👁👄👁

#russell adler #russell adler x bell #cod bell #cod #call of duty #call of duty black ops #call of duty cold war #cod cold war #alex mason #frank woods #helen park #lawrence sims #jason hudson #lazar azoulay

163 notes · View notes

auburnflight · 3 years

Text

Jeanne, Vanitas and Agency

From the little I’ve dipped my toes into it, the VnC fandom seems pretty heated regarding Jeanne as a character. In drastic situations, I’ve seen accusations of misogyny based solely on someone’s comments on their feelings about Jeanne... a single character. And while yes, critiques can certainly be rooted in misogyny (must women be strong all the time? must they be submissive?), I think it’s important to consider not just the character herself, but how the story treats her and why we’re making the critiques we are.

Given that points of view in the fandom are so polarized, I’m going back to canon--to the text itself--to orient this essay. In particular, I’m going to focus on the point of agency--the freedom to make one’s own decisions about one’s self and one’s course of action. This goes beyond just Jeanne’s background as a borreau, trained to fight and follow orders. Agency is also consequential in her relationships with other characters and with the story as a whole.

(Content warning for discussion of abuse dynamics, and brief mentions of sexual assault.)

It’s natural to start off with Jeanne’s first appearance in the story: alongside Luca, she’s introduced as a new agent of conflict with Noe and Vanitas’s budding alliance. In fact, she is the one who initiates the physical altercation with Noe and Vanitas, while Luca is still trying to talk them into giving him the Book of Vanitas:

Aesthetically and conceptually, she’s introduced as an active element of the story. At this point, the “forced kiss” scene during the initial fight seems more like a fluke, a comment on Vanitas’s personality (and willingness to do despicable things to get what he wants) rather than Jeanne’s.

That brings me to why I found it so jarring when colored art of her that was subsequently revealed: that agency fell away to portray a visually more passive air.

In the existing full-color art we have of Jeanne, she’s more static in her environment, looking towards the viewer but with a face that looks rather blank, even meek. Specifically I want to point out this wallpaper, which I obtained from the official site fairly early on in Vanitas’s serialization (December 2016), in contrast to another piece of official art that was released of Noe and Vanitas with Memoire 11, around the same time:

In both cases, the characters are posed intentionally, rather than actively doing something. And, they’re aware of the viewer’s gaze to some extent. However, Jeanne has her back turned to the viewer, and her expression is more idealized and ambiguous. Meanwhile, Noe and Vanitas are rather assertive: their expressions are more intentionally focused, and they seem to know their situation in the artwork. Jeanne is simply passive, very nearly objectified.

...Yeah, maybe this is just my art background speaking. But I also notice something similar happening in other official colored pieces of Jeanne, such as the cover of volume 4.

By this point in the story, lack of agency has become an even more significant element in Jeanne’s character arc: we learn that she’s been cursed. Not only is she unable to speak of the curse, it’s also in direct opposition to one of her primary character motivations, to protect Luca and those she cares about. Due to her uncontrollable urge to kill and drink blood, Jeanne fears that she’ll unintentionally hurt the very people she’s trying to protect.

Jeanne’s involvement with Vanitas also unfortunately comes with a sacrifice of her own agency. Seeing that she’s been cursed, Vanitas demands that she drinks blood from no one but him in exchange for keeping her secret. He further establishes her sense of reliance on him by promising that if he ever does see her lose control, he’ll kill her (so that she doesn’t harm Luca). Whether he’s simply a smitten 18-year-old who doesn’t yet know how to conduct healthy relationships, or whether he’s crafty and intentionally drawing Jeanne in further--or even whether it’s a mix of both--this idea of Vanitas’s control over her is reflected in the cover art for volume 4.

At this point, considering the literal events of the story, Jeanne’s passiveness is not only visual, but symbolic. In this illustration, Vanitas’s hand is grabbing Jeanne by her bow, and functionally by her neck: she’s being dragged along against her will, with little means of escape. And she looks at the viewer with a surprisingly similar expression to the previous illustration: one that communicates little say in the situation.

This matches up with their literal relationship in the story itself. Knowing she’s cursed, Vanitas is establishing her exclusive reliance on him, in exchange for keeping important secrets from others with whom she’s close (i.e. threatening to drive a wedge into their relationship). He’s already pushed himself upon her physically with clearly no warning or enjoyment from her. Yes, he’s been kind. And when Dominique trails Vanitas and Jeanne on their date, she notes that Jeanne is “terribly weak against any sort of kindness.” But in spite of some more “cute” and candid moments, the overall dynamic between Jeanne and Vanitas is far from genuine kindness. Returning to how Vanitas garnered an edge over her in their initial fight--with taunting, carefully chosen words--I would phrase it more as that Jeanne, a borreau trained to kill and inexperienced with matters of feelings, is particularly susceptible to emotional manipulation. (There’s more than a little irony in this internal comment from Jeanne, at the beginning of her date with Vanitas:)

Jeanne’s relationship with Vanitas becoming important isn’t, in isolation, inherently an issue. In most cases, it’s fun to see how a character who usually appears unshakeable is rounded out when we see them at their more vulnerable times. What makes me feel squicked out and worried on Jeanne’s behalf is how it’s executed, considering how it works in opposition to how she was introduced as a character, and how Jeanne and Vanitas’s relationship harkens back to known dynamics of abuse.

In other words, my discomfort is not at Jeanne herself for falling for Vanitas and his tactics. It’s at how she’s introduced with a promise of agency in her own story, and that agency is subsequently taken away in how she’s portrayed in official art, and in plot points as the story progresses. It’s at how their relationship begins to fall into a harmful template perpetuated by rape culture, where a man forces himself upon a woman at first, but she is shown to eventually enjoy those advances even when unwanted. I had high hopes for Jeanne as a character developed with her own agency, motives (and yes, for cool fight scenes that WLW like me can admire), and so far, Vanitas’s effect on her has threatened to overshadow these. This is where I think sections of the fandom throwing accusations back and forth of each other being misogynistic, on the grounds of criticizing Jeanne and her relationship with Vanitas, fail to see the wider issue.

Of course, eliciting this sort of discomfort may even be the whole point. Jun Mochizuki is known for putting her characters through tragic and painful situations, and her previous work Pandora Hearts is rife with unstable, imbalanced, and otherwise less-than-perfect relationships. But even without this background knowledge, a decisive scene that convinces me of the intentionality of this purpose is one I’ve written about before: Jeanne’s internal fantasy as she’s left unattended by Luca and loses herself in a storybook.

Here, Jeanne fantasizes about being the agent in her own story, a position that, the art reminds us, is often occupied by a male character such as a prince. Ultimately, this progression looks innocent and could serve to remind us of Jeanne’s more vulnerable, innocuous side. But including it here in the story could also serve as foreshadowing, a contrast to what Jeanne’s situation is like for her in reality. (If you want to read more on this panel specifically, my analysis is in the source link of this post!)

Essentially, critiquing Jeanne as a character requires more nuance than simply judging her individual characteristics. It’s necessary to also take into account the way that the story treats her and her relationships with others and other forces in the story. Not just is she allowed to be soft and emotional, but what consequences does this have for her, and how do the story elements lead the reader to feel about her being soft?

Personally, I think she’s very likeable as a character--her situation just seems unfair, and I feel like she deserves so much better than Vanitas and his schemes. I mean, she could easily destroy him with her gauntlet, and he knows it! But, then, it’s Jun Mochizuki. We should probably expect to be feeling pain and pity for her characters. Still, the relationship between Jeanne and Vanitas has always kinda rubbed me the wrong way, and I think this pretty much sums up why.

#vnc #vanitas no carte #the case study of vanitas #vanitas no shuki #aki likes analyzing things

102 notes · View notes

miraculouscontent · 3 years

Text

“Truth”-related asks:

Anonymous said:

I just watched truth and man, we didn't need any of that... I'm so tired...

Anonymous said:

Me after reading that summary: We coulda had it aaaaaaaaaaallllllll, decent wri-itiiiiiiiiiiiiiiingggggg

Anonymous said:

oh. lukanette breakup. how surpri— oh wait, no it wasn't.

bunnybunblitz said:

Me, skimming your summary of truth: life is a nightmare life is a nightmare life is a nightmare abort abort

Anonymous said:

Truth was a living nightmare, and that's the truth!

*defeated sigh*

Anonymous said:

The way all that just make me start disliking Adrien so hard wow I have enough of him so hard can they get ride of him for one damn episode?

Anonymous said:

Wow! Writers got on completely new level. They somehow made people to be annoyed with Adrien, even without putting him in episode.

My meme image of “I’ve had enough of this dude,” about sums it up.

It’s almost impressive???

Anonymous said:

I have the impression that you should slowly gather materials for "Treatment of Marinette S4"

You know, when you’re right, you’re right.

Anonymous said:

Hey there... Got a lil rant, I hope you don't mind in sea of anons you're probably getting. I guess if show didn't treat Marinette as their favorite punching bag and lukanette as a thing to get over with to be back on love square bullshit I wouldn't be this salty. We all knew lukanette isn't a endgame, but we actually care about Luka ans Marinette as characters and as a couple, and we knew there was a break up brewing.

But I mlb writers for setting things up, canonizing them over provocative tweet and leave them to dust right at the beginning of s4. And, oh sweet irony as they kinda accidentally made Lukanette totally better than love square (let's be honest if they knew what they were doing we wouldn't get any breakup from narrative and character development standpoint),,, because their heroine for once is loved and appreciated but that's another discussion and they hate that for her. Also, thomas arstruck can suck my toe.

I don't know what's your opinion on soulmate and destiny thing, but I'm totally in opposite. I remember The Good Place (love the series btw!) quote about how soulmates are made with love and nurture of people and not some cosmic forces. And to see how show is pushing for Destiny ™️ I'm kinda disheartened. But I guess I never really liked love square execution in the first place when it turned out that Marinette is butt of the crush joke for 3 seasons and there's 0 development from that. Like Thomas, that's not funny running gag. Thanks for reading! Hope you're doing well!

Thank you for the rant, and I agree!

It’s so strange how all their attempts to push for the love square just push me more towards Lukanette. How do the writers do that???

Anonymous said:

Yeah that point where she exclaims Luka in shock just angered and confused me. She LITERALLY transformed because Luka was akumatized. And her being shocked is only there to get her under the truth spell.

This episode is held together by knots and strings at this point.

Anonymous said:

Wow, "Ladybug likes Chat Noir humor." Then why every time Chat Noir makes puns, Ladybug looks like she wanted to strangle him on spot.

Ladybug = us

At that point, they should’ve just said, “[The writers] like Chat Noir’s humor.” Like--writers, please don’t use Ladybug as a tool to simp for your sunshine boy, it looks really pathetic.

Anonymous said:

Based on the ellipses you used I'm guessing you're not a fan of Jagged talking about the "Guitar is my only family" song.

Oh, no actually... I mean, I do because it’s there to torment Luka, but the ellipses was because of the intentional pause in the episode. Jagged was looking sympathetic

Anonymous said:

Truth was awful, the only good thing we got out of it was a Lukanette date (yay :'D) and we got to know Luka's father (although we all been knew).

Honestly if we could find a way to edit it so Luka and Marinette properly kissed then we’d just chop it out of the episode and call it the only canon thing.

asexual-individual said:

So, given that "Truth" didn't introduce the protection charms, I'm going to take a wild guess that they're not introduced until after "Gang of Secrets", meaning that Marinette won't get any close friends that it's safe to tell her secret to.

I was legit so sure that it was a guardian benefit and now I’m just left confused/curious about what causes CharmBug. Like, what, do you get CharmBug by purifying your one thousandth akuma???

Anonymous said:

I am absolutely positive no one quality checks these episodes before they’re sent out. Ladybug getting caught off guard on Luka being Truth even though she knows he was akumatised, and the horribly upbeat music playing as Marinette lies in bed absolutely defeated is so bad there’s no way this was double checked before it was sent out to TV stations

At this point, I’m convinced that they don’t care and are jamming through episodes as fast as they possible can.

cobraonthecob said:

I'm willing to bet that the writers go through critical and salt blogs just to see what the fandom's thinking, and then they think we're serious and they sprint with whatever we say.

guys please reconsider and also lower your alcohol levels

Anonymous said:

It was awful in general, but why add the paternity thing in the break-up ep? It detracts from, well, everything else and makes obvious they are copypasting fan theories instead of thinking of plot points.

I really do think they knew that Luka being upset over Marinette’s secret wasn’t enough to akumatize him so he needed something else.

Anonymous said:

Let me get something straight: The episode was explicitly about Marinette going on dates with Luka and that they were together. Yet Juleka is once again part of the shipping squad with obligatory "Marinette is only weird because she's with Adrien"-theories, and she's totally cool with that?

Yup! :3

guys I just adore mob mentality, did you know.

guys--

Anonymous said:

Ok, but the fact that everyone considers Marinette’s crush on Adrien to be her big secret is stupidly unrealistic. They KNOW they’re all aware of it - the girl squad even figured it out by themselves before they were told and think it’s totally obvious (as long as you’re a girl cause guys are clueless about feelings right). As far as they’re concerned it’s not actually a secret so they SHOULD be spilling the things they think only they and Marinette know. I mean, I can think of dozens of possibilities for Tom and the rest of the girls already, but Alya?

We had a front row seat to the damning secret Alya knows from back in season 1, but I guess asking this show to acknowledge continuity is too much. Still, the episode could have been so much more interesting if Alya had said, “Marinette’s the one who really gave Adrien the scarf for his birthday, but he looked so happy thinking it was from his father that she couldn’t bear to tell him that Gabriel hadn’t actually gotten him anything.” (I suppose reminding people of that wouldn’t fit into the writers’ poor attempts to make Gabriel sympathetic though 🙄).

Lol, just imagine the entire battle being sidetracked by Luka being brought to tears by how selfless and sweet his girlfriend is while Shadow Moth is too distracted by how this will ruin his reputation to get him back on track.

JKHJDSKGFSG

YES.

ALL OF THIIIIIS.

THIS IS AMAZING.

Anonymous said:

Marinette deserves to tell Luka she's Ladybug and have some support on her side tbh, it's disgusting to see the writers breaking up clearly the only thing that brings her joy and peace currently

HONESTLY.

And judging from that one trailer, she IS going to tell someone her secret and it’ll probably be freaking Alya; you know, the girl who blabbed about her Adrien crush to Nino and is thus THE LEAST TRUTHWORTHY PERSON. (”bonus” if it’s before the amulets)

I’m having nightmares already about Alya distrusting Lila because Marinette is Ladybug and not because Alya believes in Marinette. DX

Anonymous said:

Now that it’s been confirmed (in the worst way possible) that Jagged Stone is in fact Luka’s (and possibly Juleka’s?) father, how would you handle the whole mixed family aspect considering Jagged and Anarka’s relationship, Jagged and Penny’s, Anarka and Penny’s, Jagged and Luka’s (and Juleka’s?), and Penny and Luka’s (and Juleka’s?)? Topics like mixed families and family relationships are something that needs to be handled sensibly and sensitively given how it hits home for a lot of real-world people. Since we obviously can’t trust the ML writers to handle such topics the way that they deserve to be, how would you go about it knowing what we know up to this point about each character on their own and how they interact with one another?

Luka and Juleka were “accidents,” but Anarka kept it a secret from Jagged since Jagged was already hyped up to go on his next tour and Anarka knew their relationship was crumbling (possibly he already dumped her as his guitarist and she was annoyed about it). Jagged eventually learns that he has kids and is hesitant towards the idea, but because of him doting on Marinette (who’s the same age as his kids), he opens up to the idea.

Anarka and Jagged in present are mixed between tolerating each other for the sake of their kids and being chaotic best friends. The bad blood died out a while ago and there’s occasional tension but because Anarka is a single woman not interested in Jagged and Jagged is single with a possible thing for Penny, they make it work

Anarka and Penny have an awkward relationship. Penny wants to schedule time for Jagged to hang with Luka and Juleka and Anarka is confused at the very concept of a schedule, like just take them whenever okay??? isn’t it easier that way??? and Penny is like, “...oh, I guess so?”

Jagged and Penny, it depends on if they’re in any sort of relationship. If they’re in a relationship, Penny is either open to the idea of him learning to be good with kids if she’ll eventually want kids with him, or mixed because these are another woman’s kids and it’s really awkward. If they’re not in a relationship, then Penny could also be mixed since she’s crushing on him but I could also see her either finding it sweet that Jagged wants to hang out with his kids or finding it a hassle to schedule them in.

Jagged and Luka is rough. Luka has so many conflicting feelings on his idol ending up being his father. Jagged will probably even comment on Luka’s shirt + necklace and all of Luka’s merch in an attempt to bond but that kind of comes off desperate/awkward and Luka’s not about that life. I could also see Luka taking all the stuff down and swapping out his shirt, but being hesitant to remove the necklace because it’s a gift from Marinette. He might try to wash off the signature. He knows it’s not Jagged’s fault exactly but Anarka seemed to have bad blood with him and even if they get along now, Luka’s bitter. Jagged meanwhile wants to connect with Luka because hey musician energy!! but is gonna mess up a lot and say a lot of awkward things. Marinette will probably have to be a middle man between the two because it’s easier for them to talk with her around.

Jagged and Juleka don’t have a significant relationship at first. Juleka never care who her father was and she wasn’t crazy about Jagged Stone like Luka was. Jagged does try to connect with her but they clash majorly due to Jagged being so “loud” and Juleka being so quiet. Jagged will see it as a huge accomplishment the day where Juleka says something coherent (i.e: not a mumble) to him.

Yeah though, keep in mind for all of this that I’m not a family relationship kinda girl, so this isn’t my forte (I’m probably the most sympathetic to Jagged out of the whole fandom; not to say I agree with his actions but I have a history of hating babies and children, so not cool of him if he ditched Anarka but like, I get it, doesn’t make him better but I get it from a non-realistic standpoint of “ew, parenting”).

Anonymous said:

You know what? Imma gonna ignore canon for a bit more than I’ve been doing. The only thing I take away from “Truth” is that Marinette loves Luka and Tikki looks adorable in hats. That’s it have a good Saturday! 💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Anonymous said:

If there’s one small detail that I thought was genuinely cute this episode, it’s Tikki posing in the mirror with her little hat collection.

Ahaha, those are good takeaways!

And yes, Tikki looked good in hats, but at what cost. (guys, where’s our jealous Tikki episode where Tikki is jealous of the attention Marinette has to give the other kwami wait no they’d just make it Marinette’s fault go back go ba--)

Anonymous asked:

Am I the only on squicked out by how Adrien acts all noble and claims he would never force Ladybug to tell him anything, but when it becomes apparent that he has to ask her a question before the akuma can he goes all ‘what are your three favorite things about me?’ :3c I mean, he had decent amount of time to think up a bunch of innocent questions that couldn’t hurt her in any way like ‘what is your favorite color?’ or ‘do you like cookies?’ or even ‘what’s the capitol of France?’ But instead he basically demands she compliment him. Coming from a guy who spent most of the last two seasons refusing to take ‘no’ for an answer that’s a bit… icky.

THIS

He could’ve phrased it in any way and he used it to get compliments from her. :|

At least Ladybug asked a legitimate question about how he felt about her guardian status.

Anonymous said:

I had this idea for an episode: Luka finds out that Marinette is LB because he is in danger. Let's say he gets yeeted off a building by an akuma and Marinette (in her civilian form) jumps after him, transforms while Luka sees it (he's shook, obviously), she grabs him and saves him from falling. I think that would be pretty epic, do you think you could write a one-shot based on that idea if you feel like that? I would forever be thankful. Have a nice day!

I like the idea, though I feel like that’s been done a lot before in identity reveal fanfics.

Anonymous said:

You know, despite them all getting interrupted, I thought the attempts at Lukanette dates was really cute. Luka picking up Marinette from school, the two trying to see who is the biggest jagged fan, getting ice cream at Andre's, it's really cute! I only wish Hawkmoth and the writers weren't such dickheads.

It’s so adorable!

Like--show, you aren’t doing a good job at getting me off the Lukanette train.

Anonymous said:

Are you sure the Lukanette breakup wasn't Marinette's fault? I mean, the episode frames it like she's refusing to tell the truth, even if it's for a good reason.

I’m not sure when I said that the episode didn’t frame it as her fault?

Things are ALWAYS Marinette’s fault, it’s literally a rule of the show.

Anonymous said:

You know the truth episode actually gives more reasons for lukanette in my opinion based of its description you said. Luka is ridiculously understanding and also almost manages to fight off hawk moth as well as taking probably a week at least for him to get to that and yet he, while he’s upset, still tries to be there for marinette. Also makes the relationships she has with her friends and family worse if the secret they think she has is that she likes adrien while dating Luka.

YES!!

And oh my gosh, I feel the friends and family comment so badly. Just throwing it out there, maybe you guys don’t actually support her???

Anonymous said:

How do you feel about Luka having no negative reaction to this whole "Marinette loves Adrien" thing? I understand that he isn't exactly the jealous type, but still, it seems weird to me that he just accepts it while Marinette is dating him. I love Luka a lot, but in this situation his reaction was just so unrealistic...

Honestly, I find it really interesting. Plus, it’s Truth who’s being told those things, not Luka, and Truth has other priorities.

And--I mean, I’m positive that Luka got into the relationship knowing that Marinette wasn’t completely over Adrien. She wanted to see if they’d work and he wanted to date her. It’s both of them being a little selfish in a way and I like that.

That’s why I think he doesn’t have a big reaction to the Adrien call. He seems amused more than anything, and Luka is empathetic also so he knows not to take Marinette’s stammering/mistakes to heart because she doesn’t mean them. We already had evidence of that in “Desperada.”

writingamongther0ses said:

Even if Lukanette had stayed together, I have a feeling Alya would complain that it's not Adrien...which could lead to a character growth opportunity for her when her complaining leads to Luka getting hurt when he overhears and becomes an akuma. But that's too interesting.

Interesting character relationships??? In THIS show???

never

Anonymous said:

After watching Truth the only thing I can feel at the moment is bitter. Not angry, not sad, not disappointed. Just bitter.

Bitter’s a good way of putting it, yeah. *sigh*

Anonymous said:

The fact that the second episode released managed to get a bingo really says a lot about how predictable the show's garbage fire writing.

I KNOW, RIGHT??

I knew the Lukanette episode would be a big card filler but DAMN.

Anonymous said:

I hated all of Truth, but perhaps the worst part was how hard they tried to remind you that, no matter how much of a good time Marinette and Luka have together, it's Adrien who Marinette will end up with in the end. From Alya rudely insinuating "girl, you're acting stupid, is Adrien at your house?", to Luka receiving a PICTURE of Adrien from a kwami, to Marinette talking on the phone with Luka while her Adrien pictures are in the background, to Marinette CALLING LUKA ADRIEN, to Truth demanding that people tell him Marinette's secret, only for them ALL to say "She's in love with Adrien Agreste.".

It's absolutely anger-inducing because it tries too hard to let the audience know to forget about Luka because Adrien is lurking in the corner and he and Marinette are endgame. The fans are right, Luka IS a second choice, but not in the way they think. Luka's a second choice, not for Marinette, but for the Miraculous Ladybug world. for the WRITERS!!!

But what bothers me the most is that everyone saying that Marinette loves Adrien is accepted as truth even when Marinette herself says she's over Adrien. Her words are ignored, how she feels is ignored, because everyone else(including the girl squad, when they're supposed to be her "friends") tells her that she's supposed to be in love with Adrien, and so she "has" to go along with it because ENDGAME. It's the show saying "stupid naive Marinette, you're too immature and dumb to know how you really feel, let someone else do the thinking for you!"

Meanwhile Adrien moving on with Kagami is accepted even when he still flirts with Ladybug(and forces her to build up his ego when he asks her what she admires most about him; I know it was a spur of the moment thing, but meta-wise, it was obvious love square pushing.), because "he's trying to respect her feelings and date someone else!" It's one of the main gripes I have with the show: that teenage girls are too emotional and confused to know what they really want, but teenage boys are mature and rational enough to make up their minds about who they love without holding any animosity towards anyone.

The all-white, all-male writing team pushes the Chinese girl's feelings aside and forces her to hide and erase them if they're not want they want her to feel, while the white boy gets congratulated with a pat on the back for doing the bare minimum and always, ALWAYS, takes the moral high ground(even in superhero form when he's supposedly goofy.). When she's the lead.

"Luka's a second choice, not for Marinette, but for the Miraculous Ladybug world. for the WRITERS!!!“

LOUDER FOR THE PEOPLE IN THE BACK

It’s just tiring. It’s not even me being sick of the love square, but it being forced into everything when it’s not even relevant. The episode strategically throws more and more of Marinette’s Adrien crush (I did the math, I know this) into the mix and it provides nothing but the same tired jokes. Heck, they keep leaning on the lucky charm Marinette let him borrow (not GAVE, let him BORROW) back in Season 1 because they basically have nothing else to go off of.

#category: salt #episode: Truth #other: ml spoilers #other: ask and answer

62 notes · View notes

thisissirius · 3 years

Note

Do you think this fandom has an ableism problem?

there’s a line between “let’s talk about ableism” and criticising people for choosing to acknowledge that ableism and trying to move those characters on from it and discuss ways they can improve. talking about/stanning characters who have been ableist doesn’t mean everyone’s ignoring disabled people or promoting ableism.

it’s DANGEROUS to think that people can’t GROW from ableism, otherwise what’s the point of screaming into the void and asking people to change? if you want people to change, but continue to promote the idea that shannon and ana can’t improve or change, you’re not progressing a conversation at all.

i don’t want to hear but shannon died before she could change, so because yes, she died before she could change, but that doesn’t mean we can’t talk about her good points. it doesn’t mean we’re IGNORING she’s ableist. imagine condensing people down to that one thing and that’s it. shannon was ableist. but she’s not ableism personified. she’s allowed to have FACETS. imagine.

otherwise it would be easy to say nobody gets to improve. people DO talk about their ableism and i don’t know where this idea comes from that people don’t. just like we address the racism towards eddie, athena, and every other poc on the show. just as we address abuse overshadowing and ignorance when it comes to maddie, etc and so on.

people use blanket statements in this fandom; the fandom, you, they, some people but when it comes to talking name to name and addressing it, people wanna post vague shit and drag the entire fandom into drama when it’s completely unncessary and could be solved by having a CONVERSATION.

(some people in this fandom thrive on drama and it's obvious)

there’s one huge voice about ableism in this fandom and y’all wanna take it as standard when it’s not. everyone’s experiences are different and while some of us wanna scream into the void about “shannon stans” and “ana stans” (where are these fucking stans throwing shade because i'd like to have a conversation in private, where something might actually come of it instead of having everyone drag them on main) who are constantly ableist or abelism apologists, while the rest of us wanna acknowledge the ableism and move the fuck on.

i know, i know, i’m glad you can move on, siri! you know what? i can’t move on. because some of you won’t let me. i’m a disabled person in this fandom and i’m tired of reading the many ways i should be using my platform, like anyone gives a shit what some weirdo from england thinks about a dumb firefighter show.

besides, nobody’s experiences happen in a vacuum. yes, we should listen and respect voices, and it's a conversation that needs to be had, but throwing shade, vitriol, and being dicks is not the way to have that conversation.

everyone's posts on this topic are antagonistic (i’m aware of the irony in some of the ways i’ve chosen to address this topic in this post lol) and that is not the way to get people to listen.

so no, i don't think this fandom has an ableism problem. i think it has a communication problem.

#let me live #911

23 notes · View notes

aboveallarescuer · 4 years

Text

It’s commonly (and rightly) acknowledged in the fandom that Tyrion shouldn’t be Cersei’s valonqar because 1) it makes for great dramatic irony that Jaime, the one brother who Cersei would never allow herself to suspect, fulfills the prophecy and because 2) it would, to some extent, validate Cersei’s abusive and dehumanizing treatment of Tyrion.

These two reasons also explain why it makes a lot more sense that Dany (rather than Sansa or Margaery) is the YMBQ.

If it were Sansa or Margaery, the story would lose its dramatic irony because Cersei already previously considered them threats. Meanwhile, in AFFC, Cersei hears news of dragons and slave revolts and quickly dismisses them. In other words, she could’ve been made aware of Dany’s threat, but she will only take it seriously when it’s far too late.

Throughout AFFC, Cersei was excessively suspicious of Margaery’s intentions and even distorted the truth in order to rationalize to herself why she should have her rival arrested on false charges. Cersei’s need to prove to herself that no young queen can match her probably also informed her cruelty to Sansa, from her order to kill Lady to her constant abuse and mistreatment of Sansa while she was held hostage in King’s Landing. All of this is to say that, like with Tyrion, making either Sansa or Margaery the YMBQ would mean justifying Cersei’s victimization of them since the YMBQ prophecy, like the valonqar’s, would make Sansa or Margaery a legitimate threat to Cersei. This wouldn’t happen with Dany because Dany will only meet Cersei after her power has already been realized.

This leads me to an additional third reason why I think Dany fits the YMBQ prophecy better than any other candidate: it challenges the message of the Good Princess Evil Queen trope, which consists of idealizing and rewarding the younger woman who doesn't deal with the pressures of ruling and villainizing the older woman who previously wielded power. Dany is already queen, but she is a good one, which we know thanks to the choices she’s made primarily motivated by her compassion when she got to hold power. Dany is already queen, but she is a capable one; yes, she made mistakes during her tenure, but they don’t make her an awful ruler, they make her character an understandably fallible but still largely competent ruler considering her management of Meereen’s economy, her efforts to fortify the city, her reasons for making the peace treaty and her overall decision-making process. Dany as the YMBQ validates the message that having power and agency and influence means having to make hard choices and occasionally erring, but that it is still, ultimately, a good thing.

This is not to say that Sansa could never be an effective ruler, only that many of her fans idealize and reward her because she looks pure and virginal and feminine “enough” and wasn’t ever placed in a situation where she had to wield power and deal with its negative consequences. Also, I know that the prophecies surrounding Cersei have sexist implications against her because there are too many Evil Queen tropes being played straight with her, but there’s a time and place to criticize the author’s writing. For now, I just want to recognize and appreciate the ideas that I speculate that he deliberately intends to come across.

TL;DR Dany is the YMBQ because: 1) she’s the one candidate that Cersei was shown to dismiss and whose identity, like the valonqar’s, will take Cersei by surprise; 2) she was never victimized by Cersei, so Cersei’s abuse wouldn’t be justified by the narrative in any way; 3) she is not a helpless princess who is easy to idealize because she never had any power to begin with (or hard choice to make to begin with). Instead, Dany is a good, competent and experienced queen who, by subverting Evil Queen tropes, gives us a positive outlook of women in positions in power.

There are maaaany other reasons as to why I’m pretty confident that Dany is the YMBQ, but I’ll save them for a very long meta that I’m currently writing with @rainhadaenerys.

#daenerys targaryen #asoiaf meta #cersei lannister #tyrion lannister #asoiaf speculation #margaery tyrell #margaery is also queen but we know nothing about her as a person or her actual intentions #the way fandom idealizes her is almost as ridiculous as the way they do faegon #and she doesn't rule a kingdom like dany or cersei do ofc #bc she's queen consort not queen regnant or queen regent

217 notes · View notes

pumpkinpaix · 4 years

Note

HI! I'm new to the MDZS fandom and I fell in love with Suibian, but you don't see it that much. I seen somewhere that it would burn out a weaker core and I cried cause I wanted to see that, and as far as I know it doesn't happen anywhere. I'm wondering if you could tell me anything and everything you know about Suibian. I'm starving for anything about it

hi anon! ahahah, it’s always a dangerous thing to ask me about “anything and everything” on a topic because I usually have too many thoughts, most of which are unorganized. but! if you’re interested in that, then here we go!

First, re: your comment about Suibian burning out a weaker core: I am not aware of this theory (or is it something from an interview?? if someone knows, please say so!), but if it brings you joy, then it’s certainly an interesting one to consider! Unfortunately, I don’t have much more to say on it because I’m unfamiliar with it, but I do have quite a lot to say on some other Suibian concepts!

ask and ye shall receive (a very jumbled heap of thoughts as i spiral further and further out of control):

[all rough translations are mine, and thus all mistakes are mine. I am using the version of the novel that is available on luoxia because I can’t be bothered to go flipping through my print edition ahaha.]

the questions about Suibian that interest me the most are why it sealed, when it sealed, when Wei Wuxian began to wield it again, and what that might all mean. I’m going to be talking about novel, CQL, and audio drama canon all together, because I think looking at each canon alone and in combination can raise a lot of very different points!! (I have not watched the donghua or read the manhua yet, so forgive me, I have nothing to say about them. /o\)

So! the one piece of information that we’re given consistently throughout all three of the canons is that Suibian was sealed after Wei Wuxian’s death and that no one but Wei Wuxian himself (and Jiang Cheng, by proxy) could draw it from its sheathe. Thus, Wei Wuxian’s identity is revealed and the golden core swap comes to light. Wei Wuxian is surprised by this, and asks Lan Wangji, “Did it really seal itself?” (novel, chapter 63; CQL, ep 42; audio drama, S2E15).

The novel and audio drama both include a line from Wei Wuxian that emphasizes Wei Wuxian’s surprise, implying that sword-sealing is very uncommon:

万中无一的大好事竟然让我给撞上了

Something incredible that happens less than once per ten thousand times, and I actually encountered it.

the irony, of course, is that this incredible thing is what ended up blowing his cover. rip Wei Wuxian.

but what I think gets really interesting is comparing different points at which Suibian sealed itself and what that might imply in conjunction with other information. Jin Guangyao says “shortly after” his death, but CQL includes a scene in episode 19 that implies that Suibian actually sealed itself much earlier.

[ID: Gif from episode 19 of the untamed drama. Lan Wangji attempts to draw Suibian after he and Jiang Cheng storm the Nightless City and retrieve their swords. He cannot pull it from the sheathe. /end ID]

(in case anyone is curious, it’s about 30 minutes in. I spent the effort to make the gif, so I might as well give you the timestamp lol)

this scene takes place during the period of time when Wei Wuxian is in the Mass Graves (aka the Burial Mounds) after Wen Chao cast him down and left him for dead, right near the beginning of Sunshot. I’m fairly certain it’s not mentioned in either the novel or the audio drama, so this is a CQL-only detail. (please correct me if I’m wrong; I get my canons muddled all the time //hides face)

CQL basically does nothing narratively with this scene other than giving us some sad shots of Lan Wangji and Jiang Cheng (honestly, valid ;A;) but!! if we decide to accept this scene as our jumping off point, we can get to some interpretations about Wei Wuxian using information from the other canons!

take this exchange from chapter 57 of the novel (immediately prior to the massacre at lotus cove):

江澄道：“还不是又为咱们的剑的事去温家了。一想到我的三毒现在说不定被哪只温狗握在手里，真是……”

他面露嫌恶之色，魏无羡道：“可惜咱们的剑还不够灵，要是能自动封剑，那就谁也别想用了。”

江澄道：“你再修炼个八十年，说不定可以。”

Jiang Cheng said, “He’s gone to the Wen sect regarding our swords again, hasn’t he. Whenever I think that my Sandu might even now be in some Wen-dog’s hands, ugh…”

His face filled with loathing, Wei Wuxian said, “What a pity our swords don’t have enough spirit. If they could seal themselves, then no one could even think about using them.”

Jiang Cheng said, “If you kept cultivating for another eighty years, maybe.”

from the novel, it seems clear that sword-sealing is something that only happens when a person’s cultivation level is exceptionally high. if this is true, and we go with the CQL timeline of Suibian sealing itself long before Wei Wuxian’s death, it means that Wei Wuxian’s cultivation level wasn’t just high, it was leagues above pretty much anyone else when he was still a teenager. (In fact, Suibian had most likely already sealed by the time this conversation takes place.)

If we don’t go with CQL’s timeline, however, I think we could make a very different argument. It’s a bit of a reach, but I think it’s a lot of fun, if you’re willing to come with me on this journey!

Jin Guangyao says Suibian sealed itself “shortly after” Wei Wuxian’s death, but we don’t really have external confirmation of that. For all we know, someone only bothered to test it sometime after his death, and Suibian had been sealed for some indefinite amount of time. All we can say for sure is that by some point shortly after Wei Wuxian’s death, Suibian was already sealed and resisted being drawn by anyone who tried it.

We’re told over and over that one can only wield a spiritual sword effectively if you have a golden core/the spiritual energy to match it. Wei Wuxian stops carrying/using Suibian because he knows that in his hands, it will act as nothing more than an ordinary sword. His method of cultivation is no longer suitable for the sword. Suibian is tied to both Wei Wuxian’s soul and his golden core.

If sword-sealing only happens when the cultivator’s level is unbelievably high, then I think we can make the argument here that by the time of his death, Wei Wuxian’s core was likewise unbelievably strong – but Wei Wuxian is no longer the one developing his core. Jiang Cheng is.

I know it’s a ridiculous reach. To be clear, I don’t think the text actually intends this or supports this in any meaningful way, but I do think that it gives us some very tasty potential!! If Suibian sealed itself sometime after the core transfer (which, honestly, we wouldn’t know – after all, who’s been trying to draw Wei Wuxian’s sword?), but just if, I think we can plausibly make the argument that Jiang Cheng’s cultivation is truly extraordinary.

:DDDDDDDD

It’s fun right?? It’s a fun concept!!! Even if it’s nonsense, even if it’s not that deep, even if this was an unintentional coincidence, I think it would be interesting to look at this as being some kind of measure of Jiang Cheng’s accomplishments. On the flip side, I also think it’s very important thematically that Jiang Cheng’s value as a person has nothing to do with his cultivation, that he is, in fact, always second-best, but that doesn’t make him any less worthwhile or deserving of love. Maybe I’m just projecting lmao. Of course, being extraordinary doesn’t preclude him from still lagging behind Wei Wuxian–Wei Wuxian might have just been more extraordinary ahahah. We can have both!!

Now for a totally different thing! Interestingly, this conversation about cultivation levels and sword-sealing (the one with Jiang Cheng) also happens in the audio drama, S2E12 (about 15 minutes in, since I just checked), but Wei Wuxian adds an additional comment:

(don’t have the transcription of the original chinese, I’m just going to translate it as I hear it)

“But maybe you don’t need to cultivate to a certain level to have your sword seal itself. What if there were some other way?”

these two versions of the conversation actually imply pretty different things, I think! this addition opens the possibility to the audience that sword-sealing is possible even without an extraordinary level of cultivation, and I think lends credence to the idea that Suibian is just an unusually loyal sword, regardless of Wei Wuxian’s cultivation level. Whether that’s something inherent to Suibian’s “personality”, or whether this says something about how Wei Wuxian inspires loyalty wherever he goes, or whether it just speaks to the strength of their bond remains to be seen.

(obviously, this could imply any number of other things as well, but I find this to be the interpretation that makes me happiest.)

If we go with “Suibian seals itself after Wei Wuxian’s death” in this canon, I think this emphasizes the loyalty aspect with a touch of grief.

If we combine this with CQL and have “Suibian has been loyal since he was a teenager”, that also emphasizes the loyalty aspect – just in a different way.

Of course, doing meta combining unique details from different canons is largely pointless in terms of crafting any real “analysis”, so I’m mostly saying all of this because I enjoy the process of building the supercanon in my head that brings me the most joy! To summarize the varied interpretations I’ve brought up in this post:

CQL-only: Suibian sealed itself when Wei Wuxian was a teenager, at latest, by the time he was thrown into the Mass Graves.

Novel-only: Sword-sealing is very rare and achievable only through extraordinarily high cultivation. Shortly after Wei Wuxian’s death, Suibian is discovered to have sealed itself, so Wei Wuxian’s core, by the time of his death, was extraordinarily powerful.

Audio drama-only: Sword-sealing is considered very rare and achievable only through extraordinarily high cultivation, but might also be accomplished by other methods. Shortly after Wei Wuxian’s death, Suibian is discovered to have sealed itself. If Wei Wuxian’s core is not wildly and improbably powerful, this implies that Suibian has become an exceptionally loyal sword by the time of his death.

CQL/novel: Wei Wuxian was already incredibly powerful by the time he was a teenager.

CQL/audio drama: Suibian has been exceptionally loyal to Wei Wuxian since at least his teenage years.

Novel and audio drama-only have a much wider range of when Suibian could have sealed itself, as mentioned, so there are further variances within those interpretations.

there’s a lot of potential here!! with my personal feelings regarding the story, I like novel-only with Suibian sealing post-core transfer, audio drama-only with Suibian sealing post-Wei Wuxian’s death, or CQL/audio drama with Suibian sealing as a teenager pretty much all equally. I think the CQL/novel interpretation gets too close to casting Wei Wuxian as a hyper-special and innately noble individual in a way that undercuts the strength of his character arc, but that’s my opinion. (As an aside, this is actually one of my major complaints about CQL in general, independent from what I’m talking about here. But that is a topic for another day ahahaha. To be clear, I still love CQL very much, despite my many frustrations!)

As for what I think is the most “likely” to be the “right” interpretation (whatever that’s worth), I would probably say the one that emphasizes Suibian’s loyalty with Suibian sealing post-death, because I think it’s the most thematically cohesive and has the textual support to back it. (I think it’s a valid interpretation even using novel-only text; it’s just slightly less explicit without the additional comment from Wei Wuxian.)

A final detail:

We don’t get anything from either CQL or the novel that explicitly addresses when/if Wei Wuxian is able to wield Suibian again, but the audio drama’s rendition of the “Yunmeng” extra very subtly indicates that by the time that extra takes place, Wei Wuxian has cultivated a golden core and is carrying his sword once more. You only get it at a couple of moments, but Suibian sometimes clinks when Wei Wuxian moves or when he bumps into something. The two instances I can remember specifically are when Lan Wangji tosses the ring onto him (the ring hits Suibian), and when he’s rowing the little boat onto the lotus pond and the motion makes a sound. It’s!!! Extremely good!!! It makes my heart very full!!!!!

ANYWAYS, if all of my scattered rambling didn’t fill the Suibian-shaped hole in your heart, I would also like to recommend @zeldacw‘s wonderful WangQingSuiChen series of comics, featuring anthropomorphized versions of Wangji guqin, Chenqing, Suibian, and Bichen. I believe the most recent comic is here, and there are links to the rest of the comics in the post. If you just want her general tag for the AU (which is more than just the comics), it’s here!

If you have interest in listening to the audio drama yourself, you can purchase it through the MissEvan app (Mao’er FM). There are buying instructions linked in this post! If you need English subtitles, @suibiansubs is the group that does them. :)

I really can’t recommend the audio drama enough, tbh, it’s really really dear to my heart, and the team clearly worked so hard and cared so deeply for the story they were trying to tell. Consider this my regularly scheduled plug for the audio drama ahaha.

As always, my meta is my meta and if you don’t vibe with it, that’s chill! I change my opinions constantly (I think I changed them like three times in the course of writing this ahahaha), and I know some of my older meta has been making the rounds and every time I see it I think about all the ways my views have shifted since I wrote it rip. For this post moreso than usual, I want to emphasize that pretty much all of the meta included in this is meant to explore intriguing what-if possibilities, not for serious literary analysis purposes. I am aware that a lot of this is reaching/overinterpreting into implications that probably aren’t there. I just think they’re fun to consider!

so this was a mess, but I hope you or someone out there enjoyed it anon!!

(ko-fi, if you’re so moved)

936 notes · View notes

fromtheplanethexagon · 4 years

Text

the robot problem: a critical look at tobecky, 5 years late

hello wordgirl fandom i am back :) and i have a lot of thoughts that i never got around to expressing before i moved on from the show. so be aware that everything i'm saying is based on my experiences during the 2012-2016 era of the fandom & state of tumblr in general, and i am not familiar with more recent fan content.

it's been over five years since the show ended, and @ifbrd reminded me (along with some great analysis) that while tobecky was super popular since before the show technically started (thanks to the play date shorts), it's pretty unhealthy in a lot of ways that tend to be excused or flat out ignored in fanworks. i'd like to reflect on that a bit (a lot); specifically, how both the show and the fandom approached this enemies-to-lovers ship, and how easily this ship can slip into uncomfortable territory if we're careless about how we interpret the ship and create fan content of it.

i will admit, i'm mostly writing this as a response to past me and my old creations - though i moved on from the show as a whole years ago, i do like taking the time to reflect on old interests once in a while, and reevaluating my thoughts on them. and this ship is probably the biggest one that still lurks in the corners of my mind once in a while, so let's go.

cherish is the word: a short positive note before a much longer negative one

i wanted to start this essay off with some positivity, because i am going to be very negative after this. tobecky was, in some ways, cute. it's obvious from the very beginning that these two characters are on pretty equal ground, even if one of them isn't aware of it. and that's part of the fun - the irony of how unaware tobey is that his nemesis/crush/person that pretty much always wins against him is someone that he completely dismisses as incompetent. i want to point this out because honestly, in general i don't like enemies-to-lovers because a lot of them use a power imbalance within the dynamic, and i hate power imbalances, especially when it comes to actual life-or-death scenarios (at least, as much as cartoons can do that). in most episodes, becky is never actually forced to go along with his wishes. she's not held in a 'date' against her will, nor is she ever really outwitted by him. i bring this up because there is one huge, uncomfortable exception, which i will get to later.

another big plus to the ship is the fact that they just... get along? even when fighting? of course we get brief moments where they just hang out and talk about paintings or whatever, but i'm talking about how much they get each other, even if they don't realize it. like the word banter, for example. been there since day one. becky loves words, and while most other people in her life don't really care (ranging from 'eh, that's cool i guess' to her brother calling it annoying), tobey gives her a chance to show off and thus treats her as a worthy adversary as herself, not because of her more generic superpowers - something that we've seen in canon that she feels self-conscious about (see: her motivation in patch game). one of the less noticed examples, to me, is "it's your party and i'll cry if I want to", because it's just - okay. they both are excluded from a social event, and while it's obvious that tobey deals with it by destroying the city, it's also pretty obvious that becky also deals with her frustration by fighting in that battle. like, yes, realistically it's just objectively bad that he's destroying buildings. but they're also providing each other with a way to work through their frustrations, first by fighting and then by talking things out, and finally by hanging out together instead of dwelling on being excluded from the party.

so it makes a lot of sense to me that many tobecky fans gravitated towards writing far-in-the-future fic, usually by implying that some growth had taken place before starting to write the ship. (there are, as far as i'm aware, 2... maybe 3 exceptions, that take the time to attempt a real redemption for him, at least when i left the fandom.) because if you take away his worst moments, either by reasoning out that he was 10 years old and a mess, or that he was a cartoon character in a cartoon world where everyone's actions are over-the-top, or by just flat-out pretending that certain episodes never happened, there's some pretty solid ground to start a ship on.

go gadget go: we all do not see it, we simply close our eyes (review of canon)

when the show began, i was the same age as the characters. a lot of other people were, too - at least in my cohort of the fandom. i think it's pretty safe to say that many of us have fond memories of the show's earlier seasons, and held on to that interest as we got older, for whatever reasons. so like, not to be all 'as an OG fan...', but i remember seeing the shorts air for the first time in 2006. i have a diary entry in july of 2009 about how i, a 12yo with no concept of the idea of 'shipping', was disappointed in the new tobey episode because i wanted more tobecky interactions. (that was robo-camping, btw, lol.) and so i remember how exciting their rivalry felt, watching them as someone literally their exact same age, and then watching that again as a nostalgic 17yo, and then uh... growing up, to put it frankly, and realizing just how unhealthy most of their interactions were.

okay what i meant to say was, this section is an overview of the relationship's canon portrayal throughout the years.

first, we have early tobecky: this includes the shorts and the first few seasons. this is their classic relationship: he likes her and takes robots on rampages to get her attention, she majorly disapproves and has fun taking him down. we've all seen the show, you know what i'm talking about. his backhanded ways of trying to find out her identity often feature prominently in the episodes, which - sigh, i've mentioned this whole issue before, but it's kind of a grey area in the whole uncomfortable-factor thing, because while trying to find out her identity is VERY invasive, it's something that like... everyone in the show tries to do, even her canon crush (scoops). on the one hand, it's really not a great look, but on the other hand, this is a cartoon meant to parody a genre in which this trope is extremely common. so i just wanna say that i have Issues and Thoughts on this aspect of their relationship, but there are other things i find more important to discuss here.

second, we have late tobecky: this is seasons 7-8. this is... a very strange and huge shift from the previous dynamic, though it's not necessarily obvious. what i mean by that is that for some reason, the show writers made it so that half of tobey’s rampages have nothing to do with his crush on wordgirl, even though that used to be the sole reason for his villainy. seriously. we have the birthday episode, where he's upset because he feels left out; wg vs tobey vs the dentist, where he's mad that he has a cavity; and trustworthy tobey, where his robot goes on a rampage... after becky accidentally makes it malfunction. the two outliers are ‘guess who’s coming to thanksgiving dinner’ and ‘patch game’, but they still differ from previous seasons because 1) his destruction is isolated to a forest far away from the city, and 2) his motive is still to impress wordgirl, but his methods are relatively tame. also he completely gives up on the secret identity thing??? i may have missed some things but i think he straight up tells her 'yeah there's no way you're wordgirl, lol' and the subject is just dropped for the rest of the show.

i also want to include 'the robot problem' here, because it's one of two season 6 tobey episodes, and follows the 'doesn't destroy buildings to get her attention' pattern: in fact, he teams up with her to try and stop someone else from going on a rampage (even if his reasons are selfish, lol).

and finally. the other season 6 episode. we have go gadget go, the bane of my time spent in the fandom. because GGG is the single episode where tobey truly manages to take away her autonomy, and proceeds to abuse that power for an extended period of time, for his own amusement. it's bad. it's Very Bad. put in the context that it's a white boy doing this to an (ambiguously) brown girl, it's REALLY REALLY BAD. and the more i look back on it, tbh, the more weirded out i am that the show not only made it seem like she wasn't affected at all within the episode, it just... forgot about it (which is not unusual for shows and especially children’s shows, but WG does make some efforts to either retain continuity or create canon reasons for why things are forgotten about). it's the kind of thing that you can't excuse and honestly you can't redeem (like at this point, you gotta ask yourself why you're spending so much effort trying to redeem this guy when becky has several other possible ships that are nowhere near this unhealthy - violet, scoops, honestly even victoria if you want another hero/villain ship, my absolute fave rarepair rose, etc).

so if you want to still ship it you have to just pretend that it never happened. (i remember trying for weeks to write something exploring the aftermath of this episode, to try and make myself feel better about it, but the more i wrote the more i realized just how traumatic this event should've been, so i eventually just dropped it.) and i brought up my own timeline of experiences earlier to point out that this episode aired eight whole years after the show started. which means that when i saw it, even though i was a huge stickler for canon at the time, i'd built up my own idea of the show and characters strongly enough to go 'yeah, no, this episode sucks and i am going to pretend that it doesn't exist'. and i think a lot of other people did too, because i really saw like... no one mention it, ever, except for some rogue fanfics over on ff dot net that already liked dynamics like that.

because here's the thing, and i don't know if people nowadays are aware of it? but i'm 80% sure (cannot find a source, so the other 20% is that it was just a rumor) that the show was originally supposed to end after season 6. and even if it's a rumor, it makes a ton of sense, because we get 1) an 'ending' to tobecky, which is a bad one, 2) a permanent wordgirl identity reveal that significantly changes one of the major dynamics in the show, 3) an episode where TJ gets to work with wordgirl and get a nice potential ending for their sibling dynamic, 4) an episode where we see Two-Brains explore life without his henchmen... the list goes on, and idk how many of these are just major stretches. but the point is. if the show had ended there, that would've been a pretty solid ending for many things, including their relationship: aka, it would prove that it was only ever heading somewhere bad, and when tobey finally has his moment of triumph, he is truly evil about it. and this provides us fans who HATE go gadget go with an easy reason to dismiss it - we can say that it was an attempt to conclude things in a way that wouldn't have happened if the writers had known they'd get more time. but despite that... it is still a canon episode.

it is odd to me how dramatically the dynamic shifts after that, though, because we seriously go from 'worst case ever, tobecky is toxic, your ship is dead' to 'no actually they get along and hang out and get ice cream together and tobey isn't even pressuring her into it, she's happy to go along with it :)' like, immediately. i never knew much about the show writers, so i don't know if the writers changed in between these seasons, but i would absolutely not be surprised if they did.

the earlier episodes are definitely problematic as well (though they pale in comparison to GGG) but i think everyone who ships it is aware considering that tobey is, yknow, a villain. from memory, he destroys buildings to get her attention, lies to her about the level of danger that people are in to trick her into spending more time with him, blackmails her into reading his poetry, and he creates a robot based on her that’s supposed to be devoted to him (but of course, all of these things backfire). not great stuff of course, but like... he’s a villain, that’s the point of his character. and considering that he’s a child these are things that can be redeemed, if done thoughtfully.

anyway, to sum up this section, the show starts off with a pretty standard 'enemies with an unrequited crush' setup, takes a really dark turn for a single episode, and then for the rest of the show takes their dynamic in a direction that makes it much, much easier to ship. as long as you ignore a lot of previous content.

wordbot: where's becky's autonomy in all of this? (misogyny)

we've finally gotten to the fandom. i recognize that a lot of this is going to come across as hypocritical considering how active i used to be re: this ship, but like... i'm a very different person now. anyway. disclaimer i guess - i don't write this to accuse all tobecky shippers of being like this - i know a lot of us aren't/weren't! but boy do i have things to point out, so without further ado:

it is very hard to ship this without allowing some bit of misogyny to slip into it. very, very hard. the entire premise of the ship involves a girl falling in love with a boy that repeatedly pressures her to date him via threats to the safety of herself and people she cares about, which... it's 2020, i shouldn't have to explain why that's terrible & a terrible example to set for children (which is why i am glad they never made it canon, tbh). best-case fan content has tobey stop pressuring her and start working to redeem himself out of an actual change of heart, which leads to becky seeing him in a new light. worst-case fan content treats his incessant pressuring and sometimes outright threats as something romantic - and even worse, romantic to the point where he deserves her attention and love as a reward for not giving up or whatever. i did see this pretty frequently for a while, especially in the earlier 2010s (didn't read much, Not My Thing At All), but i don't feel like going into detail here because of how obviously problematic it is. one medium (but still bad) case is where the fan content makes him start his redemption, but treats her liking him back as a reward for not knocking buildings over anymore. another not great case is where she tries to fix him with her love, which is a very common and very dangerous romantic trope. both are just... so incredibly unfair to her.

in content where she tries to 'fix him'... yeah i feel like it's really obvious how misogynistic that is. girls and women should not feel responsible for the evil actions of men, plain and simple. idk what else to say here i just really hate that trope and hated it back then and it just sucks! so can we not do that anymore, thanks.

in content that treats her like a reward for good behavior, there really isn't much of an explanation for what she sees in him. if she just goes 'oh wow, you're good now, i am going to fall in love with you for it' the whole thing falls flat because it makes NO sense whatsoever. we get to hear so much about tobey and his feelings and why he likes her and how he feels about it, but where is that energy for becky? why does she choose to trust him, to spend time around him, what does she enjoy about his presence? where is her getting over scoops in the process of falling for tobey? where is her telling her friends about this, confiding in them, asking them for advice? where is her choice in the matter?

win a day with wordgirl: do you guys even like becky or do you just like the idea of her (misogyny... 2!)

it was pretty standard for all fandoms the early-mid 2010s, but that's still not a good excuse for why so many tobecky fanfictions centered specifically around tobey's feelings while refusing to give becky the same level of empathy and nuance. it is true that to ship them comfortably you have to redeem him to some degree, which means spending time figuring him out and trying to find ways to pull him to the light without feeling super OOC. but ships take two people??? and there was so much potential for fanfics to explore becky's complex feelings on the matter - because she is! complex! she's heroic and kind but she's petty and has a competitive streak, she easily befriends villains but also doesn't trust them and doesn't believe they can ever really change, she's the savior of an entire planet but has feelings of inadequacy as her civilian identity and struggles with feeling like she can be successful without superpowers, she's great at the straightforward meanings and uses of words and loves reading but struggles to write passages that aren't dry as hell, it can be easily headcannoned that she's neurodivergent (special interests, issues with fitting in with her peers, taking things very literally, etc)... seriously there is SO MUCH to explore about her character, and a lot of it comes into play when you add tobey into the mix (literally ALL of the things i mentioned are explored at some point using tobey as a parallel or foil), but i rarely saw fanfiction that explored her thoughts on things further than 'he's evil but... maybe good?' or 'he's evil but... i kind of like him anyway?'.

if you want her to fall for him while being a villain, explore it!! why does she go against her morals? does she lie to herself about it to feel better? does she feel like she has to 'fix him' as part of her superhero duties to the city, and if so, how does that affect her as she tries and fails to help him? does she fall for him when she believes that he's turning good, only to feel betrayed when he starts acting worse because he feels like he can get away with it? it's such a shame that fanworks spend so little time even considering these questions, and it is absolutely a product of how deeply misogyny is/was baked into how we approach media (especially back then).

tobey goes good: but wait, i thought this show was progressive (a conclusion, i guess)

ifbrd wrote a great meta recently about how the show is a bit misogynist, despite being progressive in several ways. honestly i don't have much to add, but i'd really recommend reading through this; it makes a lot of great observations about the ways that male and female characters are presented differently through the show

i have little to add, so i'd just like to conclude with a reflection on the ship from my current viewpoint. i do think part of the reason so many of us latched onto the ship, despite how obviously problematic it was, is that the show treats a lot of things that would be serious in real life as normal or even comedic - which is fine lol, i'm not going to pretend that it's not a show for little kids, so they have to keep the tone light.

but if we, as teens/adults, decide to engage with this content in a more realistic manner, we have to be prepared to confront how messed up so many of the things going on really are. and if you still want to ship it, there's nothing inherently wrong with that! there's a lot of interesting things to explore in this ship, no matter what stage of enemies-to-friends-to-lovers you write them at, and it can be really helpful to have a space where you can explore a dynamic such as this in fiction. (speaking from experience here tbh, writing some fic for them helped me deal with complicated feelings about some ex-longtime friends.)

so to write this ship at all means that there are canon issues that you need to deal with if you want to have them end up in a healthy relationship in any manner that makes sense (unless you create an AU where none of that is applicable, which, power to you then). and i’m not saying ‘write them with a healthy endgame or you’re Bad’, not at all lol. but at least please, please take a step back once in a while to examine the dynamic that you’re writing, and please be careful about whether you mean to be romanticizing whatever behaviors you end up portraying as good.

#wordgirl #becky botsford #tobey mccallister #tobecky #tobecky critical #has anyone ever used that tag before LMAO #anyway: i may come back and reword the ending because i am not totally happy with it #but wow this is so many words. so many. send help

133 notes · View notes

mafaldaknows · 3 years

Note

Why are people blaming you and not shinykingdom? She said to keep clicking it and giving positive comments?

I know that a lot of people have moved on from my latest eye-rolling dumpster fire, and if you are one of them, kindly please scroll past this post. I answer these asks when I think there’s something meaningful that can be gleaned by others from the lessons that I learned from this experience. I am well-aware that I’m annoying, so kindly please just go around me. Or block me. Thank you.

Hello, Anon:

Because I had the nerve to laugh at something that I thought was funny and said so, in my own blog.

I committed blasphemy, Anon.

People targeted me specifically because they don’t like the theory that Armie might have contributed to any aspect of this current controversy, in any way. I merely said it sounded like Armie could have written it with his clever, scathingly-funny inner circle, which includes writers and producers, btw. That somehow turned into me believing he ordered the entire taco platter #4 of chaos, start to finish.

Mind you, it’s just a theory, not a royal decree. I never said that it was 100% absolutely what I believed, and I never said that everyone must believe it too.

Thinking outside the prescribed parameters of a fandom can sometimes cause one to be cancelled, and with lightning speed, even when done in the name of trying to answer the unanswered questions.

I think we all would do well to read and reread posts that cause in us an immediate heated reaction, to take a pause to consider carefully what the person is REALLY saying, rather than skimming over the words and inferring or assuming their meaning and intentions with our own projections and baggage.

In a weird sort of way, I got a tiny glimpse into how quickly Armie could be cancelled, over allegations since proven to be false, by what people choose to infer or assume about the situation. It made me profoundly sad that someone could one day just decide to ruin someone else’s life, with relative ease, and how eager other people are to hop onto their bandwagon, once it gets rolling.

Collective online moral outrage is a pernicious and powerful 21st-century tool.

I get it. It’s human nature to feel protective about the people we love, especially as fans in a fandom. We have all said something similar to someone else at some point on our social media journey, in defense of our sacred cows, even if we thought the better of it and deleted it. Because we are perfectly imperfect human beings.

Giving each other the benefit of the doubt, the grace to be imperfectly human, is the best way, imho, to prevent ourselves from eating our own the minute someone in our fandom family colors outside the lines. Yes, I went there. I couldn’t help but see the irony in the situation.

Let’s remember to treat each other with kindness and compassion, as shipmates and fellow passengers, to keep our ship steady.

Love is what unites us. 🚢❤️🧿💖💙💚✨

Thanks for your question. 😊

#hello anon #blasphemy #backlash to the backlash #benefit of the doubt #let’s not eat our own #kindness and compassion #love is what unites us #tales from the charmiesphere

20 notes · View notes

moonwaif · 3 years

Text

So I've been thinking about some CQL crossover ships for Xie Wang, and one of them is XieWang/Lan Xichen. Long post with headcanons under the cut.

Also, like. I guess all of these take place within a xianxia/cultivation universe? More high fantasy than the universe of SHL. And none of this is based on novel universe for either fandom--both are strictly SHL and CQL universes.

Xie Wang/Lan Xichen (aka Zewu-jun can have a murder boyfriend, as a treat.)

The Dynamic.

First off . . . there’s no age gap. Both of them are adults. I’m not sure how old either of them are exactly in their respective canons, but. I just want to make that clear.

Both have been deceived/manipulated by people they care about. Interpret it how you want to interpret it, but they gravely misunderstood one of the most important people in their lives and paid the price for it.

The, "No matter what you've done, I can't kill you" one is dating the "But I can!" one.

Also, like? Pipa and xiao jam sessions? Matching outfits? Sign me tf up.

The early stages.

I’m not sure how they would meet. Perhaps Xie Wang is on an undercover mission in Gusu. Meanwhile, Lan Xichen has finally left seclusion so that his brother can go on a honeymoon with the Yiling Laozu.

When Lan Xichen and Xie Wang meet, I think it would be nice for there to be instant attraction. This can be on a physical level, but also on an intellectual level. They both have silver tongues, are intuitive, and are excellent communicators. I think these two kings would recognize that in one another just after one interaction.

However, they don’t trust each other. Xie Wang is probably operating under some kind of alias. Lan Xichen is more guarded now. I’m sure he still wants to believe the best of people, but life has scarred him. He feels like Xie Wang may be hiding something. Xie Wang, meanwhile, thinks Lan Xichen is just “too good to be true.” Someone with such a peerless reputation must be corrupt on the inside. I mean, just look at the Venerated Triad and how they ended up. Could the only surviving sworn brother really be THAT good?

But as time goes on, they see more sides of each other. It gets harder and harder to believe the worst about the other person. Xie Wang probably falls first, and falls hard. He likes Lan Xichen’s balanced outlook on life, his willingness to overlook rumor and reputation and make his own judgments on a person’s character. In an unguarded moment, Lan Xichen might imply that this has been one of his flaws or weaknesses in the past. Xie Wang just smiles at him and says it’s a strength. (Lan Xichen’s heart flutters, but so what? He doesn’t feel like he can trust his heart yet.)

Anyway, back to Xie Wang. He is impressed by Lan Xichen’s acceptance of Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian--particularly considering Wei Wuxian’s less than pristine background. I think there is a lot of good material here for some intimate conversations in which Xie Wang asks Lan Xichen about his opinion of Wei Wuxian, but he’s not actually talking abou Wei Wuxian--he’s really asking about himself.

The ordeal of being Known.

Nevertheless, Xie Wang doesn’t completely trust Lan Xichen yet, and he’s terrified of what will happen when Lan Xichen finds out who he is, but . . . Xie Wang still cares about him. He enjoys Lan Xichen’s company. He craves Lan Xichen’s praise and attention, and resents anyone who tries to steal it away. He wants their time together to last as long as possible. And inevitably, he wants to do whatever he can to help Lan Xichen succeed in his goals. Which, to Xie Wang’s surprise, have less to do with personal gain and more to do with making a positive impact on the cultivation world. As more time passes, it gets harder and harder for Xie Wang to play it cool and hold his cards to his chest.

Lan Xichen is touched by Xie Wang’s earnesty, enthusiasm and loyalty. It softens his heart. He finds himself growing fond of Xie Wang’s company, looking forward to his visits, indulging in conversations about music and art and calligraphy and politics. At the same time, he witnesses instances of violence and cruelty from Xie Wang that disturb him. It reminds him of Jin Guanyao--the red flags that in the past Lan Xichen either rationalized or ignored. It puts Lan Xichen in this awkward position of growing closer to Xie Wang, opening up to him, only to pull back suddenly. Rinse, wash, repeat.

Xie Wang, of course, doesn’t really know what’s going on in Lan Xichen’s head. Fortunately, he’s perceptive. As he does more digging into Lan Xichen’s past, he probably puts two and two together and realizes that Lan Xichen is trying to protect his own heart. However, he’ll also wonder if Lan Xichen knows more than he’s letting on--if he is perhaps aware of Xie Wang’s true identity, and that’s why he won’t open up to him. Or perhaps it’s just Xie Wang’s personal flaws. He’s always been too impulsive, too selfish, too distracting. Someone of Lan Xichen’s calibre may find these characteristics distasteful.

I actually think Lan Xichen may put the pieces together and begin to suspect Xie Wang’s true identity. If Lan Wangji and Wei Wuxian are around, they would probably do the same and accelerate this realization. However, I am not sure that Lan Xichen would act immediately on it. He may instead try to give Xie Wang opportunities to come forward with the truth on his own.

Xie Wang will dodge all of these opportunities like “lol nope.”

Cat’s out of the bag.

Anyway, after lots of like. Cute moments, and moments of camaraderie, and moments of yearning and angst, things finally come to a head. Perhaps Lan Xichen finds himself caught up in a scheme that involves the Scorpion and a rival group. Xie Wang ends up having to take Lan Xichen captive in order to protect him. In this moment, Lan Xichen is able to see another side of Xie Wang--one that he’s only caught glimpses of before. Xie Wang is cold, domineering, calculating, and cruel. It’s sexy but also terrifying. Lan Xichen hardens his own expression and is quite distant to Xie Wang, which of course just breaks Xie Wang’s heart. But Xie Wang can’t show it just yet, not while they are still surrounded by onlookers. It wouldn’t be wise to reveal any weaknesses to those who are constantly at the ready to take advantage of any vulnerable bits.

As soon as Xie Wang can find a moment to be alone with Lan Xichen (truly alone, with no spies or eavesdroppers), he would sit down and speak honestly with him. He tells Lan Xichen that he harbors no ill intentions towards him or the Lan sect (or perhaps he does, at least with concern to the latter--it’s up to how complicated you imagine this kind of AU). And against his better judgment, the more Lan Xichen hears . . . the more he finds himself believing Xie Wang. In fact, he’s relieved that they can finally reach this point of honesty with each other.

Lan Xichen is terrified he’s making a mistake, but . . . he wants to believe Xie Wang. He wants to believe him so, so badly. After some difficult conversations and lots of promises exchanged between them, Lan Xichen relents.

Xie Wang is just absolutely delighted to the point of tears. All of his softness and sweetness comes back.

From this point on, I think we can see a power couple at work. Both of them are intuitive, intelligent and nuanced. They can work together to solve whatever scheme is happening. Collaborating brings them closer, honestly.

Xie Wang is reluctant to let Lan Xichen go, but does so. (He’s mostly worried about Lan Xichen’s safety.)

(If you want to make things really painful, you could have Lan Xichen temporarily reject Xie Wang. This would probably be motivated by Lan Xichen’s past experiences, when he continued to support and defend Jin Guangyao despite all evidence to the contrary. Terrified of making the same mistake--of letting people he cares about become hurt because of a temporary lack of judgment--might actually lead him to betray Xie Wang and reveal his true identity to the Lan clan. This would lead to a temporary and very angsty “break up” arc. The irony could be that Lan Xichen actually regrets NOT trusting Xie Wang or supporting him down the road. I would like to see something like this culminate in Xie Wang being injured/narrowly escaping a dangerous confrontation with an enemy, and Lan Xichen rescuing him, holding him close, and whispering, “I’m sorry.” GOD Xie Wang would just fall apart. The hurt/comfort potential. My word.)

Hurt/comfort potential.

At some point, Xie Wang might be injured or suffer some kind of loss. Perhaps he went after someone who was a threat to Lan Xichen in some way, and got himself in a pickle. He makes it out, but is the worse for wear. Lan Xichen, who is normally so polite and intentional with his words, finds himself losing his temper. How could Xie Wang make such a rash decision? Isn’t he supposed to be the Scorpion King for a reason?

These words push Xie Wang over the edge. He snaps back that yes, he knows he’s reckless--that he’s too impulsive--too demanding--that he’s always letting his emotions get the best of him, again and again. But he was scared for Lan Xichen. What was he supposed to do, just sit back and bear it?

Lan Xichen’s anger dissipates. He consoles Xie Wang, tells him that he’s not any of those things. Xie Wang is shocked speechless. He’s even more shocked when Lan Xichen admits he was wrong for speaking harshly and asks for Xie Wang’s forgiveness. “It was only that seeing you in this state unnerved me. I would not want any harm to come to you on my account. I’m sorry.”

Xie Wang melts.

Xie Wang drinks vinegar.

Being together means that Xie Wang and Lan Xichen are more intimate. They are moving physically closer, becoming more familiar with one another’s spaces. Xie Wang is very greedy for this closeness, and probably starts to become a little possessive about the things in Lan Xichen’s room. Keeping things tidy, adding decorations, sorting through things, etc.

Anyway, one day he comes across Jin Guangya’s hat by accident.

“Gege :+) who’s hat is this? :+)”

He begins to engage in a recurring fantasy where he slices the hat to pieces.

It’s just that, well. Xie Wang is intensely jealous of Jin Guangyao’s hat. He is intensely jealous of Jin Guangyao’s memory. Just hearing his name is enough to make Xie Wang lose it a little on the inside, like, “Not this b**** again.” But on the outside he is very calm.

Most of the time.

Look. It’s already hard enough knowing that someone like Xie Wang, the leader of a shady group of assassins, will probably never be accepted as a suitable partner for Lan Xichen. And this isn’t the first time something like this has happened. He’s been used before by Zhao Jing, the person who was supposed to be his yifu, the person who kept Xie Wang in the dark and only brought him into the light when it was useful. So Xie Wang can’t help but feel nervous that Lan Xichen will just want to keep him in the dark, too. Like logically, he knows Lan Xichen wouldn’t do that. Lan Xichen is a better person than that, he wouldn’t take advantage of anyone in that way, especially not Xie Wang! Lan Xichen cares about Xie Wang! But Xie Wang also knows he’s miscalculated in the past. He can’t help the nugget of uncertainty that weasels its way in.

You can play this up as angsty if you want, or you can play it for comedy. Maybe Lan Xichen receives a gift from a potential suitor. Xie Wang sees it and asks who it’s from. On his best day, he smiles calmly and says something like, “How elegant and thoughtful. I know just the place to put this.” (That place is the trash.) On his worst day, he wines and says, “How tacky! Gege, why do you continue to even meet with that old cow?”

Lan Xichen is exceptionally understanding and patient, although he does need to set some firm boundaries from time to time.

Jin Guangyao causes drama from beyond the grave.

Eventually Xie Wang is going to have a very off-day. And on this off-day, he talks about a topic that he should definitely have avoided, which is Jin Guangyao.

Basically, Xie Wang is not going to understand why Lan Xichen feels guilty for what happened to Jin Guangyao. Or rather, he does not believe that Lan Xichen SHOULD feel guilty. And he tells Lan Xichen this, very insistently. Lan Xichen, who has been coping through the good ole Lan technique of Repress And Don’t Express, becomes frustrated. His frustration builds when Xie Wang basically says that no matter what Jin Guangyao may have suffered, he shouldn’t have betrayed Lan Xichen--that Jin Guangyao even deserves what happened to him (and perhaps Xie Wang believes this last part, or perhaps he’s just being petty--it’s up to you). Lan Xichen almost loses his temper--almost. But then he just. Shuts down, completely. Like very coldly and calmly says something to the effect of, “I expected you of all people to understand me. I see I was mistaken. Excuse me.” And just. Leaves.

Xie Wang is a MESS. Honestly he would have preferred being yelled at. This calm reaction is disconcerting and makes him worry that he’s lost Lan Xichen for good. He’s also shocked at himself for being so purposefully wilful and obstinate. He was trying to be good!!

Making up.

Instead of pulling away, Xie Wang waits an appropriate amount of time for things to settle (lmao like 12 hours), then shows right back up acting like nothing ever happened. He’s very talkative and sweet, chatting peacefully about unrelated topics. He probably flits about the room, straightening this and that, then perches beside Lan Xichen. His heart sinks when he sees Lan Xichen’s expression.

Xie Wangs cautiously begins speaking. “About yesterday . . . I shouldn’t have contradicted you. I was being difficult and impetuous. Gege, please forgive me.”

And like, what is Lan Xichen supposed to do with that? Say “no”? Lmao.

Fortunately, Lan Xichen has taken some time to self-reflect. He’s a bit dismayed that he continues to act out of character with Xie Wang. Normally, he is so good at maintaining his composure. With Xie Wang, however, he continues to get caught up in his own feelings until he fumbles.

Anyway, Lan Xichen actually takes this opportunity to reflect and open up to Xie Wang about his friendship with Jin Guangyao. He tells him about what happened between him and his sworn brothers, where he believes he made mistakes, how he wishes things would have worked out differently. He also says that he sees it as a weakness of his own that even now, he isn’t able to completely blame Jin Guangyao. It’s not like this is Xie Wang’s first time hearing about any of this, but it IS his first time hearing the information directly from Lan Xichen.

Xie Wang takes his hand and says that kind of loyalty and kindness is what makes Lan Xichen dear to him, and is its own type of wisdom. Lan Xichen doesn’t completely agree with this assessment, but he doesn’t argue against it, either. He merely asks Xie Wang if there is anything else he’d like to know.

Xie Wang is a bit hesitant. Without meeting Lan Xichen’s gaze, he observes that Jin Guangyao and Lan Xichen were very close. He wants to know what place Jin Guangyao still occupies in Lan Xichen’s heart.

To be continued . . .

(Lol I ran out of steam for a minute)

#xie wang #lan xichen #the untamed #word of honor #shl #woh #cql #shan he ling #chen qing ling #xie'er #implied past xiyao #sort of?

27 notes · View notes