#and veth shot beau in the ass
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Bets on FCG getting a gun-based upgrade then never using it, to complete the pattern of Sam’s characters and guns?
#scanlan took one of ripley’s guns off grog but never used it#tary didn’t have a gun but doty did (but it shot once per short rest… also not sure he ever used it)#and veth shot beau in the ass#critical role#sam riegel#fcg#cr#bells hells#scanlan shorthalt#veth brenatto#taryon darrington#stardust posts
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Wizard Breakdown Tracker: Mighty Nein Reunited, Part 1
GUESS WHO'S BACK
BACK AGAIN
SOUP WIZARDS
TELL YOUR FRIENDS
Hello and welcome to the return of the Wizard Breakdown Tracker, a late Campaign 2 feature that I realized just now I should have also done for EXU Calamity, but also good news, it's all, eventually, 10/10, pretty much all the wizards die except for possibly Volucia who noped the fuck out to Cael Morrow, and Maya Agrupnin who was Assigned Wizard By Patia. There. EXU Calamity Wizard Breakdown Tracker.
Every D&D game is better with wizards. As Liam O'Brien once said, "what's sexier than wizards? nothing." Now, to be fair, he also once said rogues were the best class when you and I and Brennan Lee Mulligan all know it's paladins; but we can all agree re: the sexiness of wizards. It is my hope that we have more wizards in the future, but for now, we shall cherish the wizards we once had, and that we briefly have again.
Because we're not touching base in this two-shot with a large number of our erstwhile arcane allies and antagonists, and in the service of a joke at the end of this post, we are including our Wizard PCs this time! Let's begin.
Lady Vess DeRogna: She was not in this episode nor mentioned but she WAS in The Nine Eyes of Lucien and she WAS talented, brilliant, incredible, amazing, show stopping, spectacular, etc. No spoilers for that here. Just wanted you to know that Lady Vess DeRogna is still dead. But like, probably 7/10.
Ludinus Da'leth: Per Beau, the Assembly's gotten awfully quiet lately, and per Caleb, Astrid's been trying to set him up with a professorship, which Ludinus can't really spike because he did offer the Assembly seat to Caleb first so it's weird to say that he's qualified for propaganda minister and not transmutation professor. The Mighty Nein have made this slippery motherfucker sweat so hard that apparently he started making deals with the Feywild. 6/10.
Trent Ikithon: Hey Trent! Bitch.
As previously stated, 9/10.
Astrid Becke: Trent's in jail and she's apparently doing pretty well and is either happy to help Beau's investigation, or helping Caleb without realizing that Beau really wants this. Probably the latter, but we love to see a complicated morally gray queen flourish, though I suspect she's having Beau-like growing pains into her new and fancy job. 4/10.
Yussa Errenis: You can just sense, from his brief response to Jester, that he absolutely knows that the Mighty Nein saved his ass twice and that he will need to call them if he gets trapped on the moon in 7 years, but also he is sleeping, dammit. Secretly glad they keep in touch; really unamused at having 14 people dripping seawater in his tower, because Tidepeak is really more of a turn of phrase. Also if he knew Veth was starting up a camp he would be very slightly hurt she hadn't asked him to teach anything but also if she asked him he would 100% turn it down. 2/10. Never change, king.
Essek Thelyss: We could get all poetic about the yearning but realistically, he's still at the outpost, getting more and more twitchy but also managing to visit Caleb regularly. Possibly hooking up? But that might just be a reference to the bit and general vibe of the episode. Anyway he's probably feeling kind of bad, but hey! We know he ends up in Uthodurn eventually, and then gets to go back to Aeor only to be part the most simultaneously intense and oblique confession of love of all time. So probably 6/10 but buddy! It gets so much better, and pretty soon no less!
Caleb Widogast: There's good meta to be had about Caleb Widogast, six months later, and you are NOT going to find it here, in a post that's about shaking up wizards in an empty Pringles can. Well, at least not much. As indicated above I think this is likely pre-Aeor excursion with Essek; but Caleb feels like he is tentatively and hopefully building a life. It's slow, and it's a little quiet and small right now, but the fact that he's able to do so on his own is itself an immense victory. He probably gets to have lunch with Beau and dinner with Essek at least once a week each, he has a little cottage and his tower, and he's already becoming a beloved teacher. And he leveled up! 3/10. We love to see it.
Veth Brenatto: Jitters about her camp notwithstanding, she's fucking thriving. They're working on the apothecary but in the meantime she's finding a balance of what she loves to do professionally while still staying with her family, she's keeping in touch with the rest, and she's absolutely on point, astute, and hilarious this whole episode. And she is definitely using Tenser's Floating Disk for sex purposes. 1/10. It's Veth Brenatto's world; we're just living in it.
Allura Vyesoren: Pending, depending on what sword Yasha brings out next episode and whether Caleb turned in the staff. TBD/10.
Bonus!
Warlock Breakdown Tracker
Fjord (Stone?): Oh honey.
It's at least five simultaneous breakdowns and they're recharging with each rest like his spell slots. You know how one of the Uk'otoa temples had a hydra? It's a metaphor, or whatever. 10/10.
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Can't believe I saw someone claim that Veth would go to Barbie over Oppenheimer. Veth? Veth Brenatto? Co-creator of the Fluffernutter, Master Gunner who mans the cannons on The Ball Eater, Veth stole-a-gun-and-shot-Beau-in-the-ass-with-it Brenatto? Veth who canonically killed a party member with an exploding arrow and never lived it down? Mrs. Brenatto has a front row seat to Oppenheimer actually, to ogle the explosions at the very least
#this is all jest and in good fun to be clear#she would actually see and love them both (as would the rest of the nein)#but she is the queen of explosions. we cannot erase this from her#veth brenatto
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Twenty-four things I noted about the The Mighty Nein Reunited Part 2 “Uk'otoa Unleashed” :
can't believe I will see them again SOON (the only comfort because this is the end of the adventures... for now...)
Jester coming in strong with Eathquake. Last time we saw a use of that, it was when Pike and Keyleth managed to make Vecna's tower fall just before the first battle against him...
SALT BAE MATTHEW MERCER
Beau's "Debilitating barage" combined with Caleb's fire spells, oh my god. Combo moves with vulnerabilities provoked by a PC and another attacking just after are SO HOT. Caduceus did this a lot with Path of the Grave, and now Beau can do this too !
OOOoooooh they really were so close to have that crystal. I felt like watching sports game, where everyone was close to mark but alas !!
I want to read Veth's Camp Guide. I hope someday CR will do this merch, just for me.
Fjord, what the fuck are you doing, my guy ? I love it, with a 7 swisdom, of course he would propose an alliance to a Betrayer god that hates Uk'atoa and the Prime deity that protects him. Marisha, speaking the truth : "Come on ! Third god in that body !!"
It's hilarious that Kingsley proposes himself for the pact. Veth, concerned : "Shouldn't he have one lifetime where he's not connected to a dark power that is corrupting him slowly until he dies and is reborn again ?"
ANOTHER PACT FOR FJORD
Jester contacting the Plank King, and revealing that - of course ! - she uses Sending very frequently to contact and bother friends and foes. I love it so much. This moment reminded me of the post that said, basically : in a post-Apogee Solstice world where many spells don't work, the biggest tragedy must be Jester Lavorre without Sending.
Captain Adella !!! From Campaign 1 and Campaign 2 !!!
"Love, live, Veth" : I also want that on a t-shirt, pleace CR store, do this for me
Oh, that Uk'atoa mini with the cool Wizkids zoom cam, I am in love
I am taking notes ! at the mechanic of Uk'otoa's (Uk'otoa...) eyes being harder to hit, but being the way to avoid an unleashing of electrical energy stored in his body when they hit. Amazing.
CALEB IS A BLUE DRAGON !! He has become a legend like Kiki
Laura, with the smallest voice possible, to Sam who just ignored her offer of dies : "I never let anyone borrow my dice... You just disrespected it so heartedly !" (she succeeds in shaming Sam)
Matt, when Liam tries to negotiate his action : "I'll be forgiving of that... (with a wicked smile) Because you need it !"
Jester has four doubles now. Fjord : "Lucky me ! (...) The captain's quarters are very happy." The Mighty Nein remain horny on main
JESTER THE HEALER !!! "We stan a blue horned queen !!" indeed Laura ~harp music~ Bailey saving their asses once again
The HDYWTDT was so hot. like, I was blushing. Fjord, I love you.
The cycle has begun anew...
I love Liam's clear intention to do many more of Mighty Nein one-shots. I WANT THAT TOOOOOOOOO !!!!!!!
This one-sot was incredible. A good story that was left in suspense when Campaign 2 ended, a powerful ennemy even when they're level 17, and just an absolute blast to see them all again. I miss them already.
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The Kingsley Commentary
My rants about Kingsley, removed from the main reaction post
Putting in the obvious disclaimer that this is all my personal opinion and my interpretations of a character may not match the interpretation that you have of the character. Feel free to think that I am wrong as much as you like! But holy shit I needed to VENT.
With the Beau and Kingsley conversation before break
“I can see Jester, I can see Fjord, I can see Caduceus” fucking where? I’m believing that this is fully pulled from Beau’s/Marisha’s ass, as Kingsley is all the worst parts of Molly and Lucien without having the benefit of being a fun villain. He smarmily backtalks every line, he’s made it pretty clear that he doesn’t really like Jester or Fjord much and is heavily dismissive of them (and he’s done it loudly enough and constantly enough that it feels like the ‘i’m making a Joke TM but it’s actually true’ versus a friend just picking at each other. Yes, I did still try to look at this aspect without bias – it’s INCREDIBLY different than when Veth and Fjord pick at each other, versus how Kingsley does.) *watches more of the conversation* Well, there’s confirmation Kingsley doesn’t have respect for Fjord. And I call bullshit on the respect for Jester. Then again, I’ve lost my attempted non-bias at this point. Kingsley ‘taking care of the crew’ is technically true, though I have no clue how much of it is actually taking care of them or just trying to undermine Fjord – cause part one made it feel 98% undermining Fjord. Even his asking about Molly is based in “I want to be better than the other two” but in a way that feels arrogant rather than anything else. YES THIS IS INCREDIBLY SUBJECTIVE OF ME I DON’T CARE
Plank King ending
No. Fuck you. I hate this ending because it is the most unearned bullshit ever.
Percy and Vex’s ending? Earned, because we followed their entire story through the campaign, see every step and struggle they take, and getting the Good Ending is narratively earned.
The endings from the very end of C2, where Kingsley joins the Revelry, NOT becoming Plank King (I still can’t find how the hell this entered fan consciousness, as 141 and the wrap up never ever state it), and the rest of the Nein have quiet, normal-ish lifes? Fucking earned to hell. In a narrative that was NOT about the big heroes, their biggest reward was being happy. Even the recap epilogues here which are basically the same thing as 141 are perfect. But in 141, Kingsley becomes part of the Revelry? Worked because it matched with his personality (and lol this two shot proves that even more) because he wants to sail and adventure (and steal and kill and be a cruel dick to people that he doesn’t give two shits about).
Being the Plank King though? Sitting on a throne while people just bring him treasure, and he has to essentially govern the whole Revelry (even though it’s more of a laissez-faire thing?) That doesn’t seem to match with his character at all.
ALSO is the fact that it’s narratively completely unearned. A character that shows up for two full episodes and I dunno, maybe half an hour in the main campaign? Suddenly in the ruler of a whole big plot setting from early in the campaign? Feels like grubby grabby hands gimme the coolest ending. Not only that, but give me a position of authority that can show up in future campaigns even though I’m still essentially a complete unknown. Oh, and let’s not fucking forget the “I wave my hand and wipe away a big conflict from the campaign with absolutely no real resolution whatsoever aren’t I so awesome?” No, and fuck this ending forever. I don’t care if it’s canon, I’m full on headcanoning it away because fuck that shit. You know what this feels like? You want to know??? It’s like if fucking Darrow of the Stubborn Stock suddenly sent Caleb a message going ‘no worries, have taken down the Cerberus Assembly, you’re fine!’ It’s not fucking EARNED. Beau and Caleb slowly slowly slowly taking down the Assembly, or even just clearing out maybe one or two more people? Fucking earned! Darrow? HOW MANY OF YOU ACTUALLY REMEMBER WHO DARROW IS??? But he’s been around for just as long as Kingsley, if not fucking longer.
I went into the two shot giving Kingsley a chance and I’ve ended up fully fucking hating him, officially what I consider to be the worst part of the entire campaign. Probably even the worst part of ALL campaigns.
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For my work for @critter-genfic-events Day 5 Prompt: Hurt/Comfort (also belated) I'm doing what the kids call "borderline cheating" and writing a director's commentary for a prompt-related scene in an existing fic. It's one I technically could have reserved for Gen Week if it fit the prompts a little better and I didn't have the delayed gratification of a gnat - it's about Eadwulf and Yasha running around the Marrow Valley together post-canon.
Dust is a bigger problem than mud in the summer, and experienced travelers wear kerchiefs against billowing dust and the scorching of the sun. The brown fields of spring turn to rows of sun-soaked green leaves, and Wulf and Yasha take more often to the shade of the forests, running along narrow paths and stopping to dangle their legs in the brooks. The enchanted waterskin Astrid gave Wulf for his birthday the second year after Ikithon sees more use than ever in high summer, especially the fourth summer after Ikithon, when the dirt road cracks in the heat and Yasha and Wulf spend the hottest days answering every traveler's hail and asking if they have enough water summarily.
👟 I dicked around and tried a couple experimental things when I was writing the fic, and I was just telling a friend I'm not sure how well they Worked (or, to get away from a success/failure model, to what degree they did or didn't have the effects I wanted them to have) and I might just have to come back to this fic later to take another look at it and decide then. One of the things was using some long paragraphs and the other was having no section breaks in a fic with multiple scenes over multiple years. The fic starts with several long paragraphs, and this is the last of those before the the first dialogue scene starts.
It's on one of the early days of the fourth summer, when they're danging their feet in their favorite brook, that Yasha says, "Kai is asking more about our adventures. You know, the time of the Mighty Nein. Veth has told Luc all kinds of stories and Luc has been passing them on to him."
It might be the greatest number of consecutive words either of them have spoken on their runs in well over a calendar year, not counting emergencies on the Zadash road. Wulf says, "I'm sure there's lots of stories to be told."
👟 One of the reasons I did the long paragraphs at the beginning is because I wanted the reading experience to echo the experience of a lot of running before the talking. Prior to this the reader doesn't technically know Wulf and Yasha don't talk much on their runs, though, and I wanted to make that explicit at the beginning of this scene.
"Yes." Yasha swirls her feet under the surface of the water. "One time, Veth shot Beau in the ass with the one bullet in her gun. On purpose. There was a tree. They were competing to climb it."
"Haven't heard that story yet." It isn't a surprising story to hear, though.
👟 Wulf has been exposed to the Mighty Nein enough to be unfazed by the story itself. He's coming up with bland, neutral responses to keep his half of the conversation going; he's an observant dude and he knows that if Yasha is using the greatest number of consecutive words either of them have spoken on their runs in well over a calendar year to start a conversation about Beau and their kid, it probably isn't because she just felt like making conversation.
Yasha nods. "She shot Caleb in a library, too. In Uthodurn. It was one of their scams; crossbow bolt to a book. They'd done it before, but she actually hit him that time, they said."
Wulf glances at her.
👟 The reveal, or at least the beginning of the reveal. Out of context, the "they said" isn't particularly telling, and I feel like I at least wouldn't realize what was up just from this, which is why I have Wulf pick up on it immediately - to show that he's observant, that he's accustomed to conversations with a lot of inference from his time as a scourger, and that he knows Yasha well.
"I wasn't there. It was when I was with Obann. They all got kicked out of the library, they said."
Wulf nods. "I've never been to Uthodurn. But I guess most libraries in most cities wouldn't take a liking to patrons shooting each other with crossbows."
👟 Wulf is still going with neutral responses - this is basically a longer version of "mmhm." Yasha is working out how to put a complicated point into finite verbal words, and this is Wulf's way of giving her time to do that. She's also, to borrow a Tumblr favorite Siken quote, doing a little bit of "I want to tell you this story without having to be in it," and Wulf is also recognizing that and replying to the extraneous library details instead of diving straight for the Obann part as a way to give her space as well as time.
"No." Yasha splashes her feet halfheartedly. "Beau will have to tell that story, since I wasn't there for it. That day was the first time she used her surname, they said. I wasn't there for that either."
Wulf nods.
👟 With "Beau will have to tell that story," Yasha is working her way further into articulating a point that can't be summed up in a straightforward way.
"Beau is so clever. I mean, you know that she is. She's so clever and so strong, but she's had to be clever and strong so many times already. Why does she have to help tell Kai where his mumma was when his mama and the others were getting kicked out of the Uthodurn library for a crossbow scam?"
Wulf thinks about Beauregard, and Beauregard with Yasha.
"I don't think it's so great a burden. Like you said, she's very strong."
👟 Wulf is being a little platitudey here, but he's correctly parsed that the fear that has come up for Yasha in the fourth year after Obann and second year of being a parent is essentially about burdens and being burdened and the ways in which her past might make her a burden in the present. Wulf's response is the "incorrect" way to reply by many standards, in that the "correct" response would probably be to echo Yasha's words instead of immediately offering a rejoinder, and I'm actually curious if some readers will find this line more annoying or dismissive than I do. But Wulf's read of the situation is that Yasha is talking to him about this because she wants a response from him, so, now that she's gotten to her point, he doesn't hesitate to think through her question and formulate a response.
Yasha splashes dubiously.
"Like you are strong."
"I suppose." Yasha hands Wulf back the enchanted waterskin and pushes her way up off a tree root, and he follows, tucking the waterskin into his belt again as they leave the stream. It feels a little odd, even after all this time he's had the enchanted waterskin, to be at a stream and not have to worry about taking water with them.
👟 Another line in the category of "sounds like a platitude but it's better to make sure you say it at some point than assume it 'goes without saying.'" So far it's established that Wulf and Yasha haven't talked much period. Wulf is a tough guy, and their shared activity is stoically doing a physically taxing activity together! "I'm not going to judge you and think you're weak because of your past" is worth him saying explicitly. There's also a bit of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you" here since the rest of the fic also digs into Wulf's personal worries about being weak himself.
Yasha is a little more opaque here since she's not the POV character, but she ends the conversation here and stands up because she's basically on the same wavelength as Wulf; she had something painful to try to express to him, she succeeded in expressing it in a way that he understood, and he replied. Since she's not prone to wizard hubris or any other kind of hubris, she knows she isn't about to figure out the entire situation today, and talking about it isn't pleasant, so she's ready for the conversation to be done now that Wulf has replied. She's dubious about Wulf's basic points (your past is not too much of a burden for Beau to handle; you're not weak because of what happened to you), but in a "yeah those are the things it would be NICE to believe" kind of way; the fact that Wulf would say those things and mean it is comforting.
#cr2#fic#this is inspired by critterfloozy's fic commentaries#i know you're not the originator of the director's commentary equivalent but i really enjoy yours and it made me want to try one#tennis shoe emojis are here because tumblr indents bullet points which unsolves the formatting problem i was trying to solve with them
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🎤 And 😂 for the ask game? :D
FJORD TIDDY SLAP
EVERY TIME VETH SAYS "YOU COULDN'T"
THAT ONE TIME VETH CONVINCED FJORD HE KILLED HER AND HE STARTED CRYING
THAT TIME CAD GOT BEAU HIGH
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE LOOKING AT HIM WHEN I LOOK AT YOU!!"
"W H A T ?!!"
"Look over here. You look like a nerd" 😂😂
Aaahh gods i miss these idiots ♡♡♡♡♡
VETH SHOT BEAU IN THE ASS WITH HER ONLY BULLET
"WORTH IT"
Thanks for sending me asks!!! I'm so hyped!!!
Edit!
Gosh that mic sure does blemd into the bg of this app huh
Uhm.. help it's again is a classic! It's love that makes people♡
unfortunately, you don't get to chose who cares for you.
And on that note gjtj not a Phare but a Quote
"WOW .. WOOOOW !!! FUCKING COOL CALEB !! (caleb is rly cool) he is rly cool SEE YOU'RE COOL CALEB !! JESTER THINKS YOU'RE FUCKING COOL!! CAUSE SHE'S YOUR FUCKING FRIEND!! !!!!!
I'm trying to sleep, what are y'all doin-
SORRY FJORD !!!!!
aah!! o_o
Fjujr i love them 😂😂😂
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I'm trying to picture the funniest information for Beau to accidentally drop in front of Dairon. Essek is the Dynasty Traitor? They went to the Astral Sea to fight a living city? She punched a pseudo-god in a volcano? Fjord almost released Ukatoa and still has the last cloven crystal? (And keeps sailing out to sea forgetting about that). Veth shot her in the ass in a race up a tree. The Gentleman is Jester's dad. The whole Happy Fun Ball thing. Sprinkle. Fjord's sword is a Vestige. Veth is Nott.
I actually specifically had Beau drop some lore on Dairon in a recent fic and made a post recently about the inherent hilarity of Dairon finding out years later that the traitor she was looking for was directly introduced to them multiple times. Listen I love Dairon so much but they're the natural conclusion of mature loner Beau and that makes them so much fun to fuck with via Beau specifically.
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Almost 2 hours late to the live react shitpost party bc I was dying my hair while watching it when it started but anyways
Under the cut bc it both contains spoilers for the m9 reunion p2 and also because it’s really fucking long lmao
They’re kicking these guys asses holy shit
wtf is going on with Kingsley btw like pardon?????
See my question is if Ukotoa is in the process of being released while they’re fighting or if he’s still locked away rn bc like
If he’s not in the process of being released waIT
NVM HE’S OUT
IN THE TEMPLE???
Oh god creepy snakes moving in tandem i love snakes but not like this
Run boy run byeeee
NO
NOONONONO
YEAH NO SHIT THATS NOT RIGHT???
fshshshsh the giant just knocked over in the center of the set is so funny to me
fr hes just
there
Oh wait worm???
Not Ukoatoa??
Caleb my god you are a noodly wizard why would you try to intimidate a betrayer god
LMAO A 17???
“That’s me” jester my beloved
Cmon cmon NO
eight whyyy
Uh ohhhh
HAHAHAHA WARLOCK PACT
Which one which one
Is he just flexing w that ring of telepathy or did that have a purpose
Oh Jester <3
KINGSLEY???
“You just got this body” LMAO
First an accidental pact with an ancient evil sea deity then a pledge to essentially mother nature and now a betrayer god woooooh
Creepy
Wait this guy hates Melora does that mean Fjord can’t connect with her anymore?
LMAO the face
Oh not another cursed sword
i think its a cursed sword
maybe
Them putting up his stat card has me concerned uh oh
LMAO “thanks I hate it”
Ooooh a rapier fancy
its official I love Kingsley
AUGH GOOD BANTER
THE SNAKES
“Martial our forces” HMMM??
Darktow who is in darktow hold up
OHHH RIGHT plank king
Cant go back there
Fantasy DMs jfeoghehgaio;ewhaoge
syphilis gang
DAMN that was one efficient sending
You can just hear the agony in his voice ijodfsihjogiho
If anyone’s a glorified librarian its caleb idk what you mean beau
Charcuterie board
Mamas house has more tiddies followed by “That’s a good point” is fueling me
Winds in the east
mist comin in
something is brewin
about to begin
“I know all languages” jfc how many do you know now????
Im still wondering about that monkey yall what was that about
my original thought was that it was Artagan but it was so antagonistic idk
“We were probably a huge pain in your ass like a year ago” yeah sounds about accurate to what I know
I like her too jester she’s fun
risk esseks life cmon cmon cmon I NEED TO HEAR HIS VOICE AAUUUAUUGH
HES LEAVING PLS BE CONTACTING
damn wrong elf
fshshshsh hermit elf
WOW thats a lot of potions
break to wash out hair dye hold up
before i leave
haha charcuterie board
ok now brb
Okay hair’s done back to reacting
“Okay so you don’t blow yourself up” mood
Wtf is that rod??? Bc we all know he probably wouldve made it amber if he could
Fuckin dope move though omg
EIGHTY ONE????
GOD DAMN
OOOH OH I KNOW WHERE THIS GOES
GET HIS EYESSSSSSS
dainty sip of sherry in the midle of abttle from a flask i love it
holy noises followed by the camera panning to a glowing silouette of a dick on the floor
THREE DRAGONS?????
i mean ik two are illusions but DAMN
Dude I’m not sure Kingsley’s had one bad move this entire two-shot like wtf
soooo AC is 21? I think?
wait do different parts have different ACs?
HAHAHA YES EYEBALL WEAKNESS
Stab the eye, stab the eye, stab the eye, stab the e-
Gently give a slice to an eyeball muah
so eyeball AC is 27> (or equal to 27)
There has been an assault, far as i can tell sam is being a shit again
New tatoo?? Chainbreaker
Fancy
Ohoho oh nvm rip yasha’s dope ass thunderclap
won wound
Ooooh the big bad demigod can be frightened damn
DUNAMANCYYYYY
aw damn rip spell
new form who dis
Half of this live react is just me repeating one liners i found particularly funny oops
Oh nvm?? Dunamancy spell lives????
Nvm
Well ok its alive just half damage
Boy Veth I would love to see you try
“I can dodge gravity” can you????
HOLY FUCKING SHIT CHARACTER GROWTH INDEED
THAT WAS SO FUCKING COOL
Rip Beau taken out of the game bc piss
OKAY RIP BEAU FR???
FUCKING LEGENDARY HDYWTDT
GET FLUFFERNUTTERED BITCH
RIP FJORD SENT OFF INTO SPACE MY GOD
OH
OHOHOHOHOH
CMON CMON CMON SEAL HIM AWAY DO IT DO IT
OooUuUhfhdbdjfe I love the lighting change for going under water
Cmon pls pls pls work seal that bitch away
WHAT
OHOHO
FUCK YEAH MATE
Uh oh my boys gonna get the bends good call w the far step tbh
Actually bad call that’s too fast a pressure difference
Ayo Travis w the accurate bends rep
Ugh I love Caleb’s level 17 art sm
Well damn Melora!!!! Queen shit tbh
I hope “keep that just for me” means he swallowed it again
LMFAO MATTS FACE
Dicks and Other Things
The Molly Look™️
Promptly steal I love him
DAMN Kingsley’s on some king shit
Literally
ORPHAN TAKER IM SOBBING
WAUUAUAUGHFHFB CMON CMON
HIS BOICE I GOT TO HEAR HIS VOICE SJRJQIFUJEHE
THEY GOT THEIR SHIT TOGETHER SO QUICK????? SIX MONTHS??????????
CRYING SOBBING LOSING MY MIND
That was so fucking good oh my god
stimmed so hard at the end that my limbs started to actually cramp lmao
#my posts#critical role#critical role spoilers#I’m so glad i got to watch this live im so happy#ill be going back to rewatch that epilogue as soon as it’s up on youtube what an ending
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[Image description: A black and white comic titled Adventures in Re-Veth-ification: It's Been A While. Luc Brenatto, a white passing 20 year old halfling with a curly dark ponytail and short beard, a loose fitting shirt, and a button earing, is sitting in the kitchen of the Xhorhaus with Beau Lionet, a scarred asian woman with short hair who still looks in her twenties despite being much older.
In the background Fjord, an older half-orc with graying hair and beard, both loosely tied into tails, is pouring himself a cup of tea while Caduceus Clay, a firbold with a long mohawk piled into an updo, chops vegetables at a counter.
“...And that's when she shot me in the ass,” says Beau, smirking.
“Holy shit,” Luc replies. “That's pretty crazy.”
“Heh, c'mon kid, you know your mom.” Beau says. She makes a dismissive gesture, “Though she was still a goblin at that point. She calmed down a bit after she changed back”
Luc stares at Beau, confused. “When she... sorry what?”
“When Caleb turned her back into a halfling?” She says. She smiles a little awkwardly. In the background, Caduceus stops chopping to look at them, concerned. “... After we lifted the curse?” Beau continues.
Luc just looks baffled, bordering on alarmed, “Lifted the- Mom got cursed!? When the fuck did that happen?” He says
Beau, Fjord, and Caduceus all freeze, looking at Luc with pained and awkward expressions as he waits for them to answer his question.
Fjord breaks the silence first. “Well, this will be terrible,” he deadpans “I'll get Veth.”
“I'll make more tea,” says Caduceus.
“I'll be real with you-” says Beau, putting her hand on Luc’s shoulder. “This conversation is gonna suck balls.”
A short jump in time later, Luc is sitting with his head in his hands, yelling a long drawn out “Aaah” while his mother Veth, a chubby halfling woman with partially braided hair and facial tattoos, tries to comfort him.
“... you were just so young, Luc, and it was confusing enough with me just showing up again and I was so worried I would scare you- I was scary! And you were so young-” she rambles. Fjord and Beau are beside them, with Beau leaning on the back of Luc’s chair and Fjord gesturing emphatically by Veth.
“I mean, you knew she didn't come home right away, what did you think she was doing when she was Nott? Why'd you think we called her that?” Fjord says.
Luc slams his hands down on the table. “I was five I thought fuck all!” he shouts. “ And even if I had thought about it I wouldn't have gotten to 'goblin curse' from 'Nott the Brave' because that's fucking insane! That's like expecting me to get to 'Ex-Wizard Assassin' from 'Caleb'!”
“Wait, you know about the wizard assassins?” says Veth. Beau looks at him from over the back of the chair.
“Damn, how'd you get to wizard assassins before goblin curses?” She says.
"I don’t fucking know, Beau!” Luc yells. Caduceus takes Veth’s empty tea cup without comment.
Veth puts her arm around her son. “Oh, baby, I'm so sorry,” she says. “If it means anything, it's not just you I kept it from- It took months to tell the Nein. Hell, I didn't tell you're father everything until...” She trails off, a look of realization creeping over her face. “Until, uh....”
Veth suddenly hops down from the table and rushes off, speaking so fast her words slur together “Fuck, okay, hang on a second i'm gonna go get him-”
Many cups of tea later, Yeza, a halfling man who looks like an older version of Luc with no beard and large glasses, and the rest of the Mighty Nein have joined the others in the kitchen. The Brenattos are all at the table- Yeza and Luc are staring off into space, while Veth has both hands on the table ans is looking to the two of them with a slightly manic expression. Beau is still leaning against Luc’s chair, now with a cup of tea in hand. Fjord is sitting with Jester, a middle aged tiefling with short dark hair and one broken horn, on the counter eating sandwiches.
Yasha, a middle aged aasimar with white hair braided with flowers and an eyepatch, sits on the far end of the counter, straining to see over the people closer to the table, namely Caduceus, who is pouring more tea to add to the plethora of mugs now littering the table, and Caleb, a middle aged human with glasses and long hair in a side ponytail, who is standing behind Veth with his hands on her shoulders.
“And that's everything!” Veth shouts, far to excitedly. “All on the same page! Everyone good?”
The rest of her family look profoundly nonplussed.
Luc leans back in his chair. “Ah,” he says.
End description.]
Being in your twenties is just like *accidentally unearths repressed family trauma in a casual conversation* *accidentally unearths repressed family trauma in a casual conversation* *accidentally unearths repressed family trauma in a casual conversa-*
#luc brenatto#veth brenatto#beauregard lionett#fjord#caduceus clay#yeza brenatto#critical role#cr#long post#adventures in revethification#comics
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Caleb and the two very hot purple people that are sitting at the next table over
Based on a tumblr post
Caleb works as a teacher at the Soltryce Academy. His life is fairly normal, not very notable at all, but when he meets two people at a bar he becomes an utter mess.
also available on ao3
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Chapter 1: Caleb Widogast Wants to be in a Purple People Sandwich
Caleb Widogast was just harmlessly sitting in the bar of Yasha and Beauregard Lionett. He had met Beau during university she worked with the Cobalt Soul during the day and ran a gay bar with her wife at night. Caleb had just finished lesson planning for his next classes, working at the Soltryce Academy was both a blessing and a pain. The teenagers he was teaching were bright minds but his fuzzy stain ridden cardigan and four shots of espresso because marking their transmutation homework was a bitch.
“Hey Caleb how’s it going,” Beau asked, her hands on the metal tin of a shaker.
“Good, tired… The Martinet has been up my ass about marking the finals for a class that isn’t even my own. I could use a distraction,” he sighed.
“Well good news for you bud Yash has some friends who are moving to town, I think one is going to be here tonight.”
As Beau said that the door of the bar flung open with a streak of maroon and holographic panelling entered the bar with the sound of like ten jingling bells.
“YASHA! LOVE?! ARE YOU HERE!?”
The voice was bright and joyous, lilting with a pure and radiant sunlight energy. They brightened the room not just with the reflection of the leds from the reflective material on their coat. Caleb felt the warm energy wash over him. His face both brightened in this person’s mere presence but also blushed profusely as a lavender tiefling with the most dazzling eyes he had ever seen. Red like the deepest, most sparkling rubies. Caleb immediately turned to Beau trying to hide his blushing face from the room.
“Beauregard. Who. Is. That?”
Beau laughed, punching Caleb hard on the shoulder, “That’s Molly. Been friends with Yash since they were kids. Fucking asshole but good people.”
“I heard my name,” the voice sang, walking closer and swinging their legs over a seat next to Caleb at the bar.
“Hey obnoxious one,” Beau smiled.
“Unpleasant one, how have you been treating our angel?”
“Like a gods damned national treasure, what else Tealeaf?! Oh shit you should meet Caleb, this nerd here,” she said pointing to Caleb, “is like my brother. He works at Soltryce but trust me he’s nothing like the fucks there.”
“Well pleased to meet you Caleb, Mollymauk Tealeaf. Molly to my friends and any friend of my quippy pseudo-sister in law is a friend of mine,” they smiled, fangs glinting in the orange bar light.
Caleb stammered out a response, “It is a pl-pleasure to meet you Mollymauk.”
——————
The next day Caleb woke up incredibly hungover but buzzing with a warm happy feeling in his chest.
Beau had decided to join them for drinks later in the evening, letting Marius work behind the bar, it wasn’t that busy anyway. He spent that night drinking and talking to Molly and listening to Beau curse out dickheads who were being gross to people at the bar and a few bar fights.
He learned that Molly was one of three siblings, the middle one of course was him. They used he/they pronouns and worked as a tarot card reader on the side of being a moderately successful artist. He used to work at a daycare in the town that they had moved from. He had met Yasha early in their childhood. It was a very pleasant conversation Caleb and Molly trading stories about the kids they had met.
——————
Caleb sat again at the bar, Beau pushed a bottle of cold beer across the table. He had a particularly hard day, the Marient had been hovering around his class and harassing students about his lessons that he had to go to Headmaster Margolin to literally kick the Martinet out of his general vicinity. He took a long swig of beer, this was probably his fifth drink of the night and he had not eaten at all and he had drunk some with Veth after classes so he was getting progressively hammered. He heard the door swing open accompanied by familiar jingles and chatter of multiple people.
Caleb sloughed into the bar, he was most certainly drunk. He looked passingly at Molly who was wearing the signature maroon coat but a black mesh shirt with moons and stars dappled across the sleeves and strangely striped shorts.
——————
“Beauregard, Beau how do I ask Mollymauk to let me spoil them,” Caleb was doing a weird half whisper towards Beau, his face was incredibly flush.
Beau gave her pseudo older brother a look as she saw Molly curled up in Essek’s lap, “You can ask if their poly but his current partner is kind of fucking intimidating.”
“Who is their partner,” Caleb asked, a brief wave of melancholy hitting his face.
Beau grabbed his face and directed it to the both in the back where Jester, Fjord, Essek, and Molly were sitting.
“The drow he is literally draped over, Essek is a research professor at the University he just got transferred to the dunamancy department.”
——————
Caleb’s eyes were filled with figurative stars looking at the two. Essek had snow white hair that flipped adorably in front of his violet eyes. He had a more plum colouration to his skin than Molly who was lavender. Essek’s gentle Rosohnain accent made Caleb blush profusely. Caleb could feel his heart skip a beat. All Caleb wanted more than anything in that moment was to be in a purple hot people sandwich.
#critical role#the mighty nein#shadowidomauk#shadowmauk#widomauk#shadowgast#caleb widogast#essek thelyss#mollymauk tealeaf
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Iconic moments in history
#cr2 rewatch 2: electric boogaloo#the mighty nein#cr2e73#I'll never be over this#nott really shot beau in the ass just to win a race and I'm glad she did because it's comedic history now#nott the brave#beauregard lionett#veth brenatto#critical role
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Nineteen things I noted about CR2E133 “Hunter and Hunted” and the Talks Machina about it :
Thank the gods there was a disclaimer before WHATEVER THIS IS :
Matt said “toothy maw”, and Laura screamed “Take a shot !!!” and then immediately drank out of her canteen. A legend.
I liked how they reacted to this encounter, they expressed very well the thought on everyone’s minds : they can’t waste high level spells on these two lizards, because the real fight with Lucien is waiting around the corner.
The description of the streets of Aeor, its building collapsed, the skeletons, is jarring. Even more so when Caduceus flew over the amphitheater and Matt described that there was a lot of people here when death took them, when the destruction happened. Hear this after watching ExU Calamity is even more horrifying, because WE KNOW exactly what those 15 seconds before the end must have looked like for Aeor…
Jester, as Veth is dismantling the robot they found in the ruins of Aeor, for Caduceus’ spell of Speak with dead : “It have a soul, potentially… I don’t know how these things work !” Sam, jokingly : “Don’t be judgmental !” ARE YOU KIDDING ME ????!!! HAVE I JUST SEEN THE MOMENT WHERE SAM HAD THE IDEA FOR F.C.G. ????? A ROBOT WHO’S NOT SURE IF THEY HAVE A SOUL ?????
“In every campaign, we need at least one flying cow”
I agree with Jester 100%. They should set up the ambush and not go explore. However…. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhh I want to see everything Aeor !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I’m so curious !!!!!!!!!!
Yasha is trying to crush opals into dust for Jester, while flexing her arms, with her sheer strength. Beau, a lesbian : “Come on, babe, this is the hottest you’ve ever been” Caleb : “Maybe thighs is the way to go.” Beau, agreeing : “She’s got really strong thighs…” (my mind and Marisha’s mind went into the gutter)
I would like to thank the cast of Critical Role for forcing me to google ‘Bad Dragon’ to get the joke, and thus subjecting me to the unspeakable horrors of bad sex toys.
Very important information : Essek’s favorite food is soup or nice stews. I love this dude.
Caleb : “You know what a bunch of wizards in one place is ? Fucking trouble.”
Oh god, THE WAITING !!! I did agree with Laura’s theory, that they’re not going to get a full rest before Lucien & Co enter. That’s what I would do as a DM, and also Lucien has done this before, because he’s a pain in the ass. And there it went, minutes after.
Oh, Fjord. The choice of knowing you can sacrifice soldiers for a battle and still not win the war, but gain an advantage (wounding slightly the Tomb Takers, maybe)… And he did it. Knowing that those rangers and Dagen will be lucky if they escape alive.
They got 3 of the 5 Tomb Takers, and more importantly, Otis is amongst the victims !! I’d call that a win.
Fjord, as he’s killing Zoran with two hits on his turn, to Lucien : “No way out of this fight, my friend.” HOT
Talks Machina almost got called Critical Role After Special, or CRAS. Figures.
Travis talking about how he figured out in-game when looking at the map that Vandren is literally on the next island after their ship crashed, and that he just… stayed there… is amazingly funny, because he came to the conclusion that he was a “fucking moron” for never deducing he should look there first.
Travis, the self-described man who doesn’t know youth linguo, made a Tumblr reference when they discussed Essek, and I’m proud. We do have an Essek obsession over here !
Travis describing Fjord’s time in the Happy Fun Ball with Yasha and Beau : “I’m just, back at the fish market… at the whims of the lesbians !” THAT’S THE TRUEST DESCRIPTION EVER
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Episode 140 guys…
What a night!
I love Essek and Cad and Molly and Fjord everyone so much I am going to MISS these mfers! SO MUCH!!
I still think the very last leg of the journey will be dealing with Trent, whether by combat, or by just ratting his ass out to King Dwendel about the Volstrucker Program type skill/persuasion challenge. I’d be happy either way. This could also potentially be done in a one shot but I hope they tie it up as an end of campaign mini-arc before we get the epilogue.
I kinda had my fingers crossed that Lucien used the Cloven Crystal and we’d get an Uka’toa cliffhanger for a one-shot of either finding the crystal (probably dealing with Sabien) or a fun Uka’toa fight (could still happen but I doubt it). On the other hand, I also think it was good for Fjord not to pursue vengeance or Sabien, or any more of his super emotionally toxic warlock stuff, it’s better this way. I hope he reunites with Vandren in his (and Jester’s) epilogue.
I also wanna see some Shadowgast in that epilogue babeyyyyy. That whole sequence of using his Mote of Possibility to pull Caleb from the rubble, the forehead touch followed by Essek immediately defeating his guilt-induced Slow, then trying to CRUSH the SHIT out of Lucien with a gravity nexus after he dealt a ton of damage to Caleb. Like. Wow. These wizards are Extremely Gay and I Love Them.
All I have left to say is
Yasha = Love 💜
Caleb = Magician 🪄
Fjord = Sea 🌊
Jester = Joy 😄
Beau = Rumor 🖕🏻
Nott/Veth = Tinkerer ⚙️
Good night everyone!
#critical role#live reaction#afterthoughts#Cr spoilers#c2e140#mollymauk tealeaf#essek thelyss#caduceus clay#fjord stone#caleb widowgast#holy shit guys#fjorester#beauyasha#shadowgast#we are definitely getting some one shots out of these loose ends#if for no other reason than that you can tell Tal really wants to play Molly again#at least once#and that is TOTALLY valid#also#did anyone else get The Search for Spock vibes from this?#we are about to get the CR version of The Voyage Home for the final chapter I think lol#i’d love that#see you all for campaign three#they really became the mighty nein
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Marisha asking Matt if “Beau’s ever seen a gun” casually forgetting that Nott/Veth shot her in the ass.
My brother and I constantly quote Sam saying “NO, with my GUN!” all the time.
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luc asking veth “what else did you shoot??” and yeza trying to intercede with “you don’t have to answer that – ” and beau immediately shouting “YOU SHOT ME IN THE FUCKING ASS!” I love one (1) disaster lesbian so much
#annemarie watches critical role#critical role#luc brenatto#luc#yeza brenatto#yeza#beauregard lionett#beauregard#beau#between the lines#the mighty nein
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