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agronzky · 9 months

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⠀⠀⠀𝐇𝐎𝐖 𝐓𝐎 𝐂𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐓𝐄 𝐀 𝐆𝐎𝐎𝐃 𝐕𝐈𝐋𝐋𝐀𝐈𝐍 𝐈𝐍 𝐑𝐏.

⠀⠀⠀Anyone who knows me or has rp with me knows how much I love building ambiguous — or grey, if you prefer — characters or villains. The drama, the chaos, the complex plot… It all makes everything more interesting, especially once you get bored of characters who are exclusively nice, naive and suchlike. Even so, it's a construction that needs to take several factors into account and be very delicately written so it doesn't become a trigger rather than a character.

⠀⠀⠀For this reason, below I've provided some tips on how to create villainous characters for rp, taking into account various traits, setting and also demystifying the fact that not every villain is a soulless monster. Anyway, on to the guide.

Deep and personal motivations.

⠀⠀⠀Convincing villains usually have compelling and understandable motivations, even if their actions are highly questionable. It's the premise of them being right in their quest, but using the wrong means to achieve it and ultimately losing their reason. This brings a sense of humanity and it's even possible to feel connected to what led this person to become a villain. You can truly see how they lost the way.

⠀⠀⠀Another point is the fact that not everyone wants to conquer the world, nor do they have the ambition to have a lot of money or power. Think of plots about revenge, twisted love, the quest for justice or fear. Generally, a character's deepest motivations give them more determination to fulfill their goals because it comes from something much more internal and traumatic. Give them a proper reason and make them lose the way, this is gonna make everything feel real, convincing and interesting to developed.

Moral complexity.

⠀⠀⠀The simple truth is the days of people liking completely cartoonish characters are long gone, and nowadays many people don't like those who are evil simply for the sake of being evil. This is because it's too out of touch with reality. Obviously there are people who are like that in real life, but the vast majority is more complex than this. Humans, in the end, are very complicated and, probably, will never truly understand why we are the way we are.

⠀⠀⠀To get away of this cliché and cartoonish form when creating your character, try to develop moral nuances and internal dilemmas which can explain their actions. Put a small fragment of morality in the character, make them question themselves a few times as to whether they're on the right path… Remember yin yang: there's a little tiny good inside the evil. This tip can be used for any character, when you think about it, but it's very important for those who want to create villains.

Human traits, personality and vulnerabilities.

⠀⠀⠀Like any human being, provide your character with traits unmistakably human, such as fears, insecurities or personal relationships that will impact them, to make them more realistic. Just because someone is doing something morally wrong doesn't mean they've lost all touch with their humanity, especially since not every villain is a psychopath who has no empathy for anyone. It's always very interesting when a character believes they're doing what's right or good for someone else, and this is their motivation.

⠀⠀⠀Also bring some weaknesses to the character, whether physical, emotional or psychological. This provides room for development and also ways for other characters to access them in a more specific way, either to get to know them better or to retaliate against them at some point.

⠀⠀⠀You know that line "Do you like my personality? I created it especially for you!"? Well, consider how the character behaves and bring in more layers when making the personality. Take into account how they behave in different situations and with different people.

Charisma and a magnetic nature.

⠀⠀⠀The fact is that bad guys aren't unbearable one hundred per cent of the time, they need to know how to live in society and captivate people. So define unique and appealing traits for the character, whether they're genuine or merely a façade. It's always interesting when, within the plot, most people don't know about the evil or wrong side of a character because it gives them more room for development. Maybe make them ashamed of what they're doing and try to hide it as best they can. And just think about real life: do we truly know the people around us?

Connection with other characters.

⠀⠀⠀Nobody lives completely alone since we're in a society and this makes us having connections, for more simple they can be. Thinking about that, create connections with other characters to bring more motivation and drama to your muse, such as an old rivalry, a complicated personal relationship or a surprising connection which generates tension. You can also create connections that actually bring their good side to light, you know? It's also always good to add a certain complexity, to have troubled moments, wounds that haven't healed fully, secrets being revelead, etc.

Questions for creating villains.

What are the character's main motivations?

What is the character's origin story? What led them to become what they are today?

What are the past traumas or events that have shaped their worldview?

How does the character justify their actions morally? Does they believe they are doing the right thing?

What are their weaknesses and vulnerabilities?

How does the character present themselves to the world? Are they masked, manipulative or showy?

What do they want to achieve through their actions?

What are their emotional reactions to obstacles and challenges?

How do they justify their actions to themselves? Is there any sense of internal validation?

How do they relate to the authorities or the law?

How do they see themselves? Do they see themselves as the hero of their own story?

How do they react when their plans fail?

What do they feel when faced with the possibility of redemption or change?

Other small (and important) advice!

Corruption arcs are also super interesting, leading a good character to become bad over time and through traumatic situations. Redemption arcs are also sensational. The point is: nobody was born a villain and nobody has to die a villain.

Leave clues indicating your character before fully revealing your motivations. Also try to leave some motivations completely secret, using them when the plot calls for a surprise. In the best "surprise, bitch!" style.

Think about how environment and culture can influence beliefs and actions.

A villain doesn't have to be a psychopath or murderer. There are arcs of revenge and corruption which can be created without going to such extremes.

It's obvious, but always respect other players and the limits they impose. As I said, a villain isn't always doing evil and being a complete asshole, so make sure you know what kind of approach the other person will prefer.

Always be careful when approaching topics which are triggers and avoid them as much as possible. As I said, it's not necessary to go down this route, but if you do, always keep a firm grounding when writing, because triggers are complex real-life situations that always need to be handled delicately.

The end, for now.

( Be with Morgana, my good girl gone bad ♡ )

#rph #rp help #rp resources #rp writing help #writing resources #writing help #writing advice #writingtips #rp guide

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nyctoaerah · 18 days

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Can u please post the other parts of Wish Granted?:( i can't open the links for some reasons and it says that I don't have the access to read it or something. I'm really hooked, but I'm sorry for bothering

-❤️‍🩹

WISH GRANTED: CH 2 & 3.

⋆♱⋆SYPNOSIS: In which, you, a workaholic grade A detective has been investigating about multiple murder cases, ends up wishing for other people to die and the same serial killer that you were looking for ends up granting it in the most twisted way possible.

⋆♱⋆WARNINGS: Gore, Mutilation, Mentions of Torture, Jack Being creepy.

⋆♱⋆PAIRINGS: Yandere! Eyeless Jack x Fem! Detective! Reader

⋆♱⋆PREV

⋆♱⋆NOTE: Hey pookie, idrk why it isn’t working for you because it’s working for me properly:( maybe you should restart your pc/phone? Or maybe it’s on your internet? I’ll try checking on the links later and revise them. But yeah, dw, it’s not a bother, i don’t mind it anyways. I’ll just post the other parts later<3.

Ps; Hearts and reblogs are greatly appreciated!<3

⋆♱⋆MASTERLIST

AS SOON AS THOSE words reached your ears, a chill crept down your spine causing the hairs on the back of your neck to stand at attention. Your heart dropped into your stomach, the thundering rhythm filling your ears drowning out all other sound. The blood seemed to freeze in your veins as icicles of dread rapidly spreads throughout your limbs, numbing you from head to toe. Your breathing became shallow and you were wide-eyed and unblinking, your pupils dilating until only a thin ring of iris remained,

That certainly wasn’t a news that you wanted to hear.

your grip on the phone faltered and it slipped from your trembling hands, crashing heavily onto the ground as your breath hitched in your throat.

“Your boyfriend and best friend were found dead.”

Those words kept repeating in your mind, the weight of those words bore down on you, sending an icy shiver cascading down your spine. Your mind was a whirlwind of conflicting emotions, leaving you unable to discern what you truly felt. Your breath caught in your throat, threatening to suffocate you as dizziness washed over you, threatening to pull you into unconsciousness.

‘But i was just with them a few hours ago...’

It hurts so much, it felt like your heart strings are about to break.

It was a tumultuous mix of fury, grief, betrayal, heartbreak, and a profound sense of self-pity that overwhelmed your senses. This day had already been marked by a series of unfortunate events, beginning with the painful revelation of your boyfriend’s infidelity and culminating in the relvelation that your closest confidant had been a traitor all along.

The news of their deaths hit like a tidal wave, crashing into the already shattered pieces of your heart.

You stumbled back, collapsing onto the closest piece of furniture that hadn’t been destroyed in your fit of rage. Your body shook with tremors, the weight of grief becoming almost too much to bear. Regret seeped into your veins, staining your conscience with a haunting question: Could you have prevented this?

As your mind raced, memories of your boyfriend and best friend flooded back. The joyous moments you had shared, the laughter, the support – all now overshadowed by the painful truth of their betrayal. How had you been so blind? Anger surged through you, sparked by the overwhelming hurt, as you cursed their names under your breath.

But amidst the anger, a profound sadness settled in, casting a bleak shadow over your soul. You mourned not only the loss of their lives but also the friendships and the love that was once so pure. The realization that you would never hear their voices again, never feel their warm embrace, tore through you like a serrated knife.

You needed to do something.

with trembling hands, you reluctantly reached for your phone, only to discover a crack on its screen. It must have happened when you dropped it. A heavy sigh escaped your lips. Your throat was dry and your eyes were bloodshot due to how much you've cried.

Using your shaky fingers, you unlocked your phone and wiped the moisture off the screen with your hands. As you opened it, a flood of notifications greeted you, including messages from Earl, Jhenicca, and others. Slowly, you navigated to your contacts and dialed the headquarters. They answered promptly, causing you to release a shaky breath.

“What happened?” you inquired, your voice raspy from the lack of moist and use.

“Lieutenant, how are you holding up?” came the concerned voice on the other end of the line.

You let out a heavy sigh. Of course, you were far from okay. The pain of heartbreak still lingered, threatening to tear your emotions apart. But you were determined not to let your personal turmoil interfere with your duty. Despite their betrayals, your love for your boyfriend and best friend remained, and you couldn't bear the thought of them meeting such a gruesome end.

“I’ll manage, don't worry about me,” you replied, trying to sound composed.

“Information please,”

You requested.

“We discovered Lieutenant Earl and Detective Jhenicca’s bodies near the Forest,” they informed you, their words hitting you like a blow.

“What do you mean at the forrest?”

you exclaimed, your voice tinged with shock as you processed the information.

“I was just with them at the station just a few hours ago, they would never go to a forrest.” you stated, your brows furrowing in confusion. The image of that encounter still haunted your mind, causing your voice to falter slightly.

“Jhenicca despises forests,” you muttered, your fingers tightly gripping your phone. The situation was becoming more puzzling by the minute.

“That’s the very mystery we’re trying to unravel, Lieutenant,” they explained. “That’s why headquarters is requesting your presence.”

You let out a snort.

Of course, they would want you there.

As one of the last people to see them, you were likely the prime suspect in their disappearance.

“Interrogation,” you stated, weariness evident in your voice.

“Yes, Lieutenant, they want to interrogate you,” they replied.

You couldn't help but release a heavy sigh, feeling drained.

“I’ll make my way there later,” you mumbled, the exhaustion weighing on your words.

“How did they... die?”

You asked slowly.

“We believed that the cause of death is by blood loss.”

“They got mutilated, all of their fingers in both hands and feet was removed, and they were skinned alive, moreover, their bodies were also covered in honey and other things and bees were swarming over them, and so does other bugs, that were probably eating them slowly.”

The image of their mutilated and dismembered corpses sent a shiver down your spine.

Torture.

“So they got tortured first before dying then...”

You mumbled, realizing that they got a painful death and it is indeed a murder.

“We believe so,”

You let out a sigh.

“Have their bodies been taken for autopsy?” you managed to ask, your fingers involuntarily curling up in distress.

“Yes, Lieutenant,” the voice on the other end confirmed.

“Forensics are currently examining the bodies at the morgue. We’ll let you know as soon as we have any updates.”

You took a deep breath, trying to steady yourself. It was essential to stay focused and maintain your composure despite the heart-wrenching news. These investigations required a clear mind, and your team relied on you for guidance.

“Thank you,” you replied.

“Please keep me informed of any new findings.”

“We will,”

they assured you.

“And remember, you aren’t alone in this. We’re here for you, Lieutenant.”

You smiled a little, even though they couldn’t see you, Their support was essential, but there was still a part of you that felt isolated, grappling with the weight of your emotions. You had loved and trusted both Earl and Jhenicca, and their betrayal and death had shattered your world.

As you hung up the phone, you closed your eyes, trying to push away the painful memories and focus on the tasks ahead. The investigation couldn’t wait, and justice needed to be served.

And suddenly, out of nowhere, you felt a wave of tension wash over you, it felt as if someone is watching you right now.

Now that you weren’t bawling your eyes out and not having a breakdown anymore, you noticed this strangeness.

Your brows creased as you opened your eyes and scanned your surroundings, checking left and right for any signs of an intruder.

But there was no one in sight. It had been three long months since you first sensed the eerie feeling of being watched, but the demands of work and the constant presence of either Earl or Jhenicca by your side had distracted you from paying it much attention. However, now that you found yourself alone, the unsettling sensation began to gnaw at your thoughts.

And then, out of the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of your window slightly ajar. Your brow furrowed in confusion as you struggled to recall if you had ever opened it. Opening the window was not a regular occurrence for you; in fact, you rarely ever did.

“I don’t recall opening my window,” you muttered to yourself, as you stood up, wobbling a bit as you walked towards the window to investigate.

but before you could investigate further, a sharp pain shot through your foot. You looked down to find the cause, only to see an assortment of glass shards scattered across the floor—probably from the vases and other things you had threw on the ground. You must have accidentally stepped on the broken glass, and warm blood began to trickle from the wound.

This really is such a bad day.

Suppressing a curse, you quickly hobbled over to your bathroom to tend to the injury, As you made your way towards the bathroom, an overpowering stench assaulted your senses. It was an amalgamation of metallic notes, mingled with a sickeningly familiar odor reminiscent of raw flesh, like the scent that lingers at a butcher shop. It was a scent you had encountered many times before, while investigating crime scenes. But the difference is, it wasn’t a crime scene. It was your own bathroom.

Your brow furrowed in confusion as you cautiously pushed open the door, the repulsive smell growing even stronger.

At first glance, everything appeared normal. But when your eyes traveled upwards, a blood-curdling scream escaped your lips.

Multiple human fingers were nailed and plastered in the walls like some sort of furniture, both fingers from the hands and toes, you can see the bones under them as blood dripped from them.

they were forming a word, three fingers were on a shape of the letter ‘W’, one for the letter ‘I’, five for the letter ‘S’, Three for the letter ‘H’, five for the letter ‘G’, five for the letter ‘R’, six for the letter ‘A’ and ‘N’ Two for ‘T’, four for ‘E’, and with the last letter being ‘D’, which had three fingers on them. 37 fingers, were nailed in your walls, with the words being....

𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃.

...

You were utterly shocked, repulsed, scared, evident from the way your eyes were protruding out of their sockets.

You instinctively recoiled by taking a swift step backwards while simultaneously covering your mouth with your hand in disbelief. The intensity of the sight before you was so overwhelming that your stomach twisted and turned, disturbed by both the visual and olfactory aspects of the situation.

Your gaze shifted anxiously from each finger that protruded from the walls, their bloodied presence revealing the exposed phalangeal bones, their hues tainted by the crimson fluid. Overwhelmed with revulsion, your head whirled in a nauseating manner, unable to tolerate the repugnance before you.

As the sensation of vomit surged uncontrollably, you swiftly clasped your abdomen, succumbing to its intensity and disgorging the contents of your stomach.

As you expelled the contents of your stomach, the regurgitated food landed repulsively on the ground. Simultaneously, you struggled to catch your breath, your throat and esophagus ablaze from the corrosive stomach acid that accompanied the vomiting. Overwhelmed by a burning sensation, you instinctively clutched at your chest in despair, desperately gasping for air.

This reaction was unprecedented, as these circumstances were nothing compared to the gruesome crime scenes you had encountered before. However, the sight that now haunted you was beyond horrifying—The scenes on the crime scene might be more brutal and horrifying in the perspective of others, but fuck, this was more horrifying in your point of view.

Fingers were grotesquely displayed upon your walls, gruesomely nailed in place. Both severed fingers from hands and feet were arranged in this macabre exhibit, leaving you utterly revolted.

As you breathed heavily, your lungs felt burdened and your chest throbbed painfully. Gradually lifting your gaze, saliva slowly trickled from your mouth, intermingled with traces of vomit that had inadvertently stained your clothes. The previous cut on your foot, which once caused you considerable discomfort, seemed inconsequential compared to the searing pain originating from your bruised esophagus.

As you carefully observed the fingers, There was a significant change in the size of your pupils—It shrunk down in shock. Some of the fingers had an unmistakable feminine appearance, while others displayed a more masculine quality. The sight of these fingers caused a sharp, involuntary reflex as you instinctively averted your eyes, overwhelmed by a sensation that made you cringe in discomfort—You felt as if you were going to vomit once again.

“Come on, breathe, [Name]...”

You told yourself.

The offensive stench of severed fingers combined with the repugnant odor of your vomit further intensified your disgust, while your chest continued to burn fiercely.

“Calm the fuck down, [Name].. calm down... breathe..”

You urged yourself to regain composure, but despite your efforts, you couldn’t manage to achieve it. The intensity of your emotions caused an overwhelming surge of hot tears that pooled in your mouth, leaving you surprised that you still had the capacity to cry given the torrent of tears you had shed upon discovering your boyfriend’s infidelity.

The bitter taste of regurgitated stomach acid lingered in your throat, a distressing reminder of the moment when you couldn’t contain the contents of your stomach any longer, resulting in a forceful expulsion and a fiery sensation in your esophagus.

Overwhelmed by despair, you found yourself clutching at your hair, desperately digging your nails into your scalp as you pulled at your [H/c] colored tresses, hoping that this agonizing reality would dissolve into a mere figment of your imagination or a horrendous nightmare.

Already enduring a dreadful day, this traumatic scene shattered your fragile emotional state, sending waves of anguish through every fiber of your being, making you fear that you might lose consciousness.

With each successive backward step, your cheeks were drenched in a seemingly endless stream of briny tears, as if the act of retreating physically symbolized your desire to distance yourself from the emotional turmoil consuming you.

With trembling and unsteady hands, you hastily reached into your pockets and frantically retrieved your phone.

It almost slipped from your shaky fingers, but you managed to tighten your grip on it. Filled with fear, you immediately dialed the number for your department, desperate to share the terrifying news that had just unfolded before your eyes. The sheer terror coursing through your veins made it difficult to steady your voice as you trembled with every word you spoke.

“Please, please, pick up!”

You couldn’t comprehend how these gruesome objects could have appeared in your fucking bathroom without your knowledge. Fingers, bloodied and gruesome, were inexplicably plastered on your wall, mocking you with a message that sent shivers down your spine. “Wish granted” it read, like a sick joke or a cruel twist of fate—What kind of sick psycho would do that?

You are in danger.

Deep down, you desperately hoped that it was all just an elaborate prank, but the harsh reality crept in as you realized the horrifying truth. This was real. The sight of the bones protruding from the severed fingers, the nauseating smell that permeated the air; it was all too real to fucking deny. You were in danger. Someone broke into your house and placed those nasty things, you will probably be the next victim— no, no, you shouldn’t think like that, you needed to fucking calm down. But you couldn’t bring yourself to.

“Pick the fuck up, come on, come on, please, please!!”Your voice cracked with desperation as you urged the recipient of the call to answer. After what felt like an eternity, they finally picked up on the other end.

“Fuck, fuck...”

You breathed out, the relief that washed over you was drowned out by the urgency in your voice as you struggled to convey the gravity of the situation.

“I need help, fuck, fuck, please... i need it asap!” Your words were slurred and rushed, with your fear causing you to stumble over your sentences, barely able to articulate your pleas.

“lieutenant? What’s wrong? You seemed to be panicking.”

“Come here, please, please, come here as soon as possible! I’m begging you!” Your voice quivered with a mix of terror and desperation as you practically wailed into the phone. The overwhelming sense of danger that loomed over you threatened to consume your every thought, leaving you trembling in its wake.

“Lieutenant [Name], calm down please, i cannot understand you, breathe lieutenant.”

The person on the other end of the line tried to calm you down, struggling to understand your panicked state.

“No! P-please! I beg you! I-I’m in danger! I need help, ASAP!” You cried out, your voice cracking under the weight of the fear that gripped you. Gathering whatever courage you had left, you knew you had to escape the horrors that surrounded you. Without hesitation, you dashed towards the door, paying no mind to the disarray of your appearance. Your hair was wild and disheveled from the frantic tugging and pulling, while your clothes were stained with the remnants of your own vomit. You didn’t even bother to slip on your shoes, desperate to flee as fast as possible, clutching onto your phone as if it were your only lifeline.

“I-i’m in danger, s-someone just fucking— blood, blood everywhere!”

You shouted frantically, your words tumbling out in a rush. The sight of disembodied fingers had sent you into a state of panic and fear. As you hurriedly fled the scene, your foot unintentionally landed on the broken shards of the road, causing searing pain to shoot through your body. Despite the agony, you dared not glance back towards your dwelling, consumed by the urgency of escape. Each breath you took was labored and heavy while physical exertion and emotional turmoil that coursed within your veins.

“Lieutenant, please take a moment to catch your breath,” the concerned voice from the other end of the line implored—you were talking too fast after all and your breaths came in ragged gasps.

The person on the call was genuinely worried about your well-being, but the sheer intensity and speed of your words made it challenging for them to grasp the full extent of your distress. What did you truly mean by ‘fingers’? The mention of that word stirred memories within them, reminiscent of the horrifying ordeal your boyfriend and best friend had endured just hours before. Both of them had suffered the gruesome fate of having their fingers, hands, and feet forcibly severed. And now, here you were, frantically babbling about fingers and succumbing to panic. Your rapid-fire speech only served to further hinder comprehension.

“Lieutenant, please try to compose yourself,” the voice urged, attempting to soothe your frenzied state once more. This behavior was uncharacteristic of you, as you were never one to succumb to panic easily, unless something truly devastating had befallen you.

Between sobs, you managed to utter,

“Fingers on my walls, blood... blood was everywhere.” The words trembled with anguish and terror as you continued to run, tears streaming down your face. The sight that had confronted you was undoubtedly traumatizing, imprinted in your mind like a horrifying image that refused to fade.

“And i fucking know who those fucking fingers belong to!” you suddenly declared,

“They’re from Earl and Jhenicca!”

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

𝐖𝐈𝐒𝐇 𝐆𝐑𝐀𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐃

━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━

Chuckling quietly to himself, Jack discreetly pressed the play button on his phone once again, the soft melody of the recorder filling his ears through the earphones he wore. The recording, which captured your horrified scream upon discovering his little surprise gift for you, played on repeat as he leaned against the walls of your bedroom.

The sound of your screams, like a symphony to his ears, resonated deeply within him. As he listened intently, tapping his gloved hand against his masked face, he couldn’t help but feel slightly disappointed that you wouldn’t get the chance to witness the ‘gift’ he had carefully prepared for you in your bedroom.

Unbeknownst to you, while you were having your break down, he had been concealed within your closet all this time, meticulously recording each moment of your suffering.

Every cry and retching sound had become music to his ears, fueling his sadistic pleasure. As was his usual routine when stalking you, he overheard your emotional breakdown while you were alone in your car, expressing a fervent wish for your unfaithful boyfriend and treacherous best friend to suffer a painful demise. And so, he decided to grant your fucking wish!

In his twisted mind, he saw himself as doing you a favor by eliminating the people who had caused you pain— They deserved nothing but torture and pain upon hurting you and he couldn’t help but wonder how that pathetic excuse of a man managed to pull someone like you.

Fuck, you were just so cute when you were wailing that he couldn’t help but want to hear that pretty cries of yours more, and so he killed your boyfriend and bestfriend to add more pain and make you more vulnerable, break you apart. And he killed your beloved bestfriend and boyfriend for you, after all, that’s what you wanted, right? right? right? You wanted this. You wished for this.

He deserves to be praised for doing such a great job in making you mentally unstable.

You provided him great amusement. as always in the past, you would display intense effort in attempting to identify the perpetrator and obtain even the slightest hint. Your unwavering determination, firm resolve, and intellectual capabilities were captivating, drawing him towards you.

For him, it was particularly enjoyable to unravel the complexities of someone as resilient as yourself, and break that fucking adamant nature of you, unlike certain shy timid schoolgirls who become frightened merely at the sight of blood.

He sought amusement and you were the sole individual capable of providing it to him without inducing him in boredom.

Your breakdown both surprised and amused him greatly, providing him with a sense of power over your vulnerable state. The scent of your blood, when your feet were cut on broken glass, wafted into his nostrils, providing an intoxicating allure that seemed almost heavenly to him.

And it made him wonder about how you tastes like.

#ᯓ★Aerah’s Works!#dark yandere #yandere x reader #yandere creepypasta #yandere #yandere eyeless jack #eyeless jack x you #eyeless jack x reader #eyeless jack #eyeless jack smut #yandere EJ #yandere creepypasta x reader #creepypasta x reader #creepypasta #EJ creepypasta

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chirpsythismorning · 1 year

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There’s something sort of patronizing and damn near infantilizing about the way stans (specifically stan twitter), will take something that isn’t that serious, or even is very serious, and will twist it as much as they possibly can, for pity and engagements.

I remember when that lie detector interview with Millie came out last year, and toxic stans of hers made it their mission to accuse the guy in the video of disrespecting Millie, when really it was all a bit? They were rushing to make posts saying, “this is so messed up! she doesn’t deserve this!!” And it’s like?? Are u guys serious rn??

And then there’s all that fucked up shit that happened with that grown ass man who groomed Millie and how a lot of hardcore stans of hers were making plot-twist edits with that horrid ig live he did??? All of that shit blew up and went beyond what it ever should have, and part of it was because a lot of those same toxic fans were out there low-key promoting a very private matter, for clicks???

Right after this happened, she deleted all of her old instagram posts (I think she’s returned recently), and still doesn't allow herself to be tagged in anything (again mostly hardcore fans there), and it’s pretty obvious to me that it's because at this point, not only does she have to watch out for people that hate her for no fucking reason and who actually mean to harm her, but she ALSO has to avoid so-called fans constantly acknowledging all the negativity surrounding her, for attention, with the guise that they support her.

Because like, do we seriously think she deleted all those sentimental posts from her past, to spite people that hate her?? No she did it to punish the so-called fans. That's the place where they could connect with her and she made a boundary that she couldn't let them into her life like that anymore.

Fans took something very serious, like as serious as it can fucking get, and were making it about stan wars. Anyone and everyone who makes one joke or one comment needs to be called out and brought down. Like it's just so obsessive and unhealthy and I get that a lot of these kinds of fans are children, and so there isn't much anyone can do. But still, it's ridiculous.

I support the notion that we should be calling out harmful behavior/language. But it eventually gets to point where it's like, what even is the point? Is there a point anymore? Or are we just speaking to speak, when no ones even saying anything? Are we seeing one negative comment and blowing it out of proportion as if everyone is saying that, to gain pity? Because it starts to get ridiculous.

In reality, people are gonna say what they want. Everyone with access to internet has the affordance of posting shit anonymously without any repercussions. That’s unavoidable. And these same people aren’t going to just be enlightened by someone calling them out. More often than not people like this want to upset others in the first place. They want a reaction. And so by constantly acknowledging their existence, and fixating on it, we're giving it to them.

And now ever since Noah has come out, we're sort of seeing something similar happening with him.

While he is getting unwavering support from a lot of people in his comments, there's undeniably a disgusting amount of homophobia being thrown at him as well.

And then somewhere in the middle of that spectrum, we have people making jokes, INCLUDING Noah.

And yet, the tag has suddenly went from unwavering support (as it should), to obsessing over any and every post/comment/joke that can be interpreted as somewhere between sarcastic, uninformed, mildly offensive and downright offensive, and we're acting like it's the end of the world.

There's no denying that all of this is overwhelming. It's a lot. And I don't blame people for speaking up when they truly feel that it's necessary. It's only natural to get defensive when you think someone is being wronged/harmed and you want to do what's right.

But again, to what point is it truly necessary to keep bringing attention to every single thing we come across that falls somewhere on that spectrum near negative?

Right now this space is filled with the negatives, even if it's coming from a good place. Do we think that Noah or Millie or any of the cast want to have to be confronted with negativity from all directions, even from the people that claim to just be fans trying to do the right thing?

It gets exhausting.

And now we're just seeing this stan twitter behavior create one big mess of delusion, with toxic Millie stans calling Noah a white sexist misogynist because he liked a TikTok referencing his coming out and the homophobic Millie meme?...

Is Noah only allowed to be open to unwavering support right now? Can he not make light of the situation, or are we just imagining that he's sitting there victimizing himself because of any and all of the negatives being thrown at him, that are never going to go away, no matter what he says or does? Because I honestly think that's the opposite of what he's doing or would even want to be doing.

And same with Millie, I don't think she sees anything and everything happening to her, and everything anyone is saying, and allows it to bother her anymore. Because how could she?? That kind of shit drains a person of their sanity.

Noah is out here not only liking TikToks joking about his coming out, he's still liking byler edits, still commenting on fans posts with a lighthearted positive attitude. He even mentioned Will in his post, so obviously he doesn't mind people making some comparisons between him and his character.

And yet here we are dwelling on everything negative we can get our hands on.

It's important to realize that the cast has seen the worst of the worst. And you can see that it's affected them. You can see they went from fairly public public figures to almost entirely private public figures, only interacting with fans when they have to, because they know a good portion of the trauma they experience comes from the fans themselves who just don't understand boundaries and common sense.

The most delusional aspect of all of this is that toxic stans are 100% convinced Millie and Noah hate each other... like they fully believe this lie they've told themself based on videos they've seen of them? Like they genuinely think they know her better than she knows herself I guess???

Now, I do want to say that I understand partly where these fans are coming from. Millie has went through absolute shit with this fandom. And it's mostly because she herself is known for saying stuff that causes people outrage. Whether it's a joke or a comment, that clearly just came off the top of her head, they'll flip it to something negative and use it as ammo to hate her. She doesn't deserve that. And I know a lot of her fans are coming from a protective place because they're so used to people hating Millie for no reason.

But even still, I don't think they realize they are a part of the problem themselves. And we are too whenever we allow ourselves to focus on the negatives, letting it practically consume us.

That sort of shit can make a person feel hopeless. 1 negative comment can outweigh 100 positive ones. And so imagine that by a scale of about a billion?

Again, I know a lot of fans mean well, but if you just take a moment to think about it, like really think about it, you'll realize that your energy would be much better directed elsewhere.

Instead of making dramatic intense posts that focus on all the negativity, BE THE POSITIVITY! Be someone that actually makes our community redeemable. Because again, we're no better than the worst of the worst if we're giving them all the attention, making the very people we're claiming to be supporting and defending, even more miserable.

And don't be surprised when s5 promo rolls around or any other event involves Millie and Noah interacting in a public forum, where they'll inevitably make jokes about all of this, arguably just as offensive as the ones we're getting worked up over right now

#stranger things #noah schnapp #millie bobby brown #tiktok #byler #i feel like this is controversial but it really shouldn't be #dude i remember when people were joking about mike looking at angelas boyfriend during the rink o mania scene #and milkvan stans on twitter were full serious #you’re shipping Mike with El’s abuser #who is shipping who? what?? like can we not just exist and talk about things without it being the most serious take on the planet??#or during noah's live recently he kept getting questions asking if he was friends with millie/the other cast or if they hated each other #and it got to a point where he was like #what is this? millie is my friend i'm friends with all my castmates #you guys are jut always trying to find the tea or stir the pot when there's nothing there #it's all just drama for the sake of drama and it's no wonder they don't interact with fans anymore #don't even get me started on bylers who get really condescending at random comments millie makes in interviews #it's not that serious i promise you #not to mention a lot of this stuff happened when they were kids so kids saying whats on their mind and being ripped apart for it is so?#gross #remember your online experience is whatever you want it to be #set boundaries with yourself if you have to #lord knows the cast is

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nearlyrae · 2 years

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Ur Near is so good I love him so much! Drabble/headcanon whatever works with yandere long hair near with a darling who’s like so chill about, just happy to be here near and not have to have a job! I’ll braid ur hair for u

Ok bet anon, *sits* My hair is ready 😋

You'd known what Near was.

It was obvious in the way he looked at you, obvious in the way he'd touched you, and glaring in the way he'd react to your words.

There was no doubt about it.

Near was sick.

Monday morning when you'd roll into work, he'd said to you, "Y/N, it would be best if you'd move in."

You nearly scoffed at the statement. He obviously wasn't asking you.

Nevertheless, you moved in. Saved money and time, what could possibly go wrong?

Of course, you didn't exactly expect to have grown so close to him. Lucky for him though, that's exactly where he wanted you.

"Y/N, you don't have to work for me anymore," he'd said out of the blue.

"What? Are you firing me?" Your voice cracked.

"No," he quickly reassured you, gently caressing his hand through your hair. "Of course not."

"Then...?"

Near hesitated a bit, his lower lip pursed.

"Unless you'd like to keep your job, it isn't necessary. I'm able to give you whatever you need financially."

"Why would you want to do that?" His hand just barely grazed your cheek, returning by his own face to twirl his long snow white strands.

"I care about you, that is all."

He truly did. Ever since that conversation, he had spoiled you with the limit of only your imagination. You wanted a studio? You got it. You wanted a pet? Take three. If you even looked at flowers and made a certain face, they were at your door the next day.

You really did enjoy this attention, but mostly you enjoyed Near himself. Without the weight of responsibilities, you would drape yourself onto him and play with his hair. Often times he'd lay on his back and allow you to lay your head on his chest, hearing the song of his heartbeat. If you wanted him to, he'd wrap his arms around you and hug you tightly, making you feel secure and warm.

If there was anything wrong with him, it's that he had a secret room where he kept cameras of everywhere you were and photos taken without you knowing, plus a detailed list of everything you did while he wasn't with you.

But that, you would never discover. It was on the basement floor of the SPK, and it was under multiple scans which only he could access.

Could you blame him? You were his treasure. He had to make sure you were safe and accounted for. If you ever went missing or some sicko tried to kidnap you, he could easily capture them and bring you home safely.

Capture them... He's not a killer, he's only the bringer of justice. He could never kill anyone.

But he seriously questioned it when even the thought of someone doing something bad to you crossed his mind.

"Near?" Your sweet melodious voice snapped him out of his thoughts. "What're you thinking about?"

"Nothing, love," he smirked at you, before wrapping his arms around you tightly and rolling on the floor, making you burst into a fit of giggles.

"Y/N," at the tone of his voice your giggles quieted down and your attention focused to him. "You know that I love you, and will do whatever I can to protect you?"

You smiled, wondering what this was about. "Yes, of course."

"Good. Try to remember that."

Left the ending kinda ominous because even though reader is happy with him, it's important to remember Yandere's are generally not people with your best interests at heart. With that being said, hope you enjoyed!

#death note #nate river #near headcanons #near x reader #death note headcanons #death note near

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traumasurvivorshelpingsurvivors · 11 months

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Tw: child abuse mention

Looking for advice and some confident boost if possible (I'd appreciate it if u answer this quicker if possible, as school holidays are coming and I'll have a lesser chance to do this by then. If not, its totally alright)

So lately I've come to terms that I was abused by my parents, and it hurts to accept that fact. My parents really did a triple and said let's abuse our child physically,mentally and sexually. I bottle it all up and it eats inside me, it makes me feel so alone. I've heard some people saying that I should open up to my friends about it. And I want to do it, but everytime I try to do it the words just don't get out of my mouth and I don't know how to even start it. Also, I'm afraid that they might undermine it and say that it's not actually abuse and that everyone's parents do this, or that many people have it worse. I know these aren't the case, i know that it actually is abuse, and I know that just because people have it worse doesn't mean I don't need help. But I'm scared that they might think otherwise. I also feel so much shame and embarrassment with this, especially the sexual assualt part. I don't know how to do this, but I really want to open up my feelings instead of bottling it all up. How can I do this? Is there any way I can make it easier? Or is there any way I can make sure they won't undermine it? Or am I wrong and should just not tell them about this?

- 🦆

Hi 🦆,

I'm so sorry about what you've been through. Please know that you don't have to tell your friends anything you don't feel comfortable sharing. It's okay to not tell them about these experiences and you have some understandable reasons why. That being said, it can be relieving to confide in people you trust about personal experiences like these, and it's valid to want that connection and support.

Firstly, healing takes time and there are other ways to express your experiences other than telling your friends (like journaling, for example). It's okay if you're not at a place in your healing journey where you feel comfortable sharing your experiences with your friends, especially if you find it hard to verbalize. If you can access or afford it, a mental health professional such as a therapist could work with you to develop some self-empowerment to feel confident in telling your truth, and cope with the possibility that people may perpetuate victim blaming rhetoric.

It's important to remember that you know your truth, you know what happened to you, and it's not anyone's place to tell you that what you experienced wasn't abuse or trauma. Even if these were things every parent did, that doesn't make it okay. Saying that it could be worse (it could be better too!) only minimizes your experiences, instead of acknowledging the impact and validating what happened. If someone tries to imply otherwise, it's their problem. You are still a valid trauma survivor.

It may help put your mind at ease to first assess your relationships to your friends, and identify which friends you are closest to. Reflecting on how supportive and intimate your friendships are can help you identify which friends would be safest to tell. If you recognize that some friends would make you feel unsafe to tell them, you may want to evaluate whether or not that friendship is truly worthwhile.

It may be best to approach the conversation by first asking if it's the right time or a good headspace for them to talk about something personal. It's a good idea to find time when you are mutually available to give undivided attention and listen actively. This article discusses how to come out, which can also apply to talking about personal experiences like trauma and abuse.

Ultimately it's up to you which friends to tell, as well as whether or not you tell your friends to begin with. You deserve full autonomy in making the choice that feels most right to you, especially at your current point in your healing journey. It can be intimidating to open up to friends, but it can also be quite rewarding and freeing.

If anyone has any comments or suggestions, feel free to add on. Otherwise, I hope I could help, and please let us know if you need anything.

-Bun

#🦆#mod bun #trauma talks #tw abuse #tw child abuse #tw sa #tw csa #tw incest #tw emotional abuse

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ratrap · 1 year

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I don't know how much help this'll be but if you don't have anywhere safe to stay have you considered making a donation post? You're an adult and you need some money that's your own, him handling all your finances is just another huge red flag and way to keep you under his control. If you explain your situation (it doesn't have to be in detail or give out anything personally identifying) I'm sure there are a lot of people willing to help you get back on your feet, we're mutuals so I for one can vouch for you not being a scammer. Also if you aren't already you need to tell your therapist the truth just like you have on here, if they're any good they should be able to help someone who's clearly in an incredibly toxic relationship. Please stay safe, my heart breaks just reading all this stuff. You don't owe him SHIT and I truly hope you find a way to escape all this.

thank you.. I don't even know what to say, no I've never even considered doing that. I dont really know anything about doing that either. You're so right about the money thing I never gave it a second thought but that is pretty weird. If I ever want anything for myself I have to say to him and then he takes everything to do with it. I dont know how to set up anything or how I would even access it if I did. He can be nice like what I imagine a normal boyfriend is like but he does make me uncomfortable and it shouldn't be like that for anyone. You're really sweet and I cant thank u enough for taking the time to be so kind to me and try to help me. I know I should tell my therapist about it and I know she knows theres something up with me. I dont really know why I dont tell her. She is good and she is nice, she's helped me with a lot of things, but I don't know if I can say the things I say on here out loud to anyone nevermind her. And I would probably have to say even more to her. Im embarrassed. I don't know how long we've been mutuals obviously but things were reaaallly shitty for me maybe like four five years ago I guess I also get worried about being hospitalised as a result because that wasn't fun. Also in some kind of way I don't want to get him in trouble. Not because we have been in a relationship for a while but I dont know what would happen if I said I wanted to move out like I dont know if it would be possible for me to say that bc he is legally registered as my carer because of my disability and mental health problems. Thats why he takes control of any money i get too because apparently it's too much for me to deal with. I guess to sum up in one sentence I'm just scared. And I had been talking to him since the pandemic and had been seeing him in person since 2021. I didnt think things were that uncomfortable until I moved in with him around a year ago. He knows all about my trauma inside and out from my whole life so he knows how to manipulate me and I just dont like upsetting him. but also I am an adult and I did get involved with him on my own accord so I sometimes feel like maybe people would think I made my bed and should lie in it… literally.which is dark and disturbing but I dont want that.

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anarimamoved · 6 years

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who wants to make one of tolkien's most important works more accessible to interested movie fans who aren't really up to reading the silm but have genuine interest in lotr's backstory when inSTEAD we could make a white cis male narrative that absolutely NO ONE asked for

#i just don't fucking get it like genuinely #tolkien's MASSIVE amounts of published material and you are generating.....? new content .....?#listen i love aragorn as much as y'all i truly do but i really feel no desire or need for his back story #also just like??????? WHY MAKE NEW CONTENT WHEN THERES TONS OF TOLKIEN'S CONTENT EXISTING #IF YOU WANT TO DO LOTR CHARS BC U THINK THSTS WHAT PPL ARE INTERESTED IN LIKE ????? GALADRIEL!!!! FUCKING GALADRIEL!!!#ELROND!!!!#CHARS WHO'S BACKSTORIES ARE ACTUALLY IMPORTANT AND ALREADY EXIST #BEREN AND LUTHIEN!!!!!! WHICH IS ARGUABLY THE MSOT IMPORTANT MIDDLE EARTH BACK STORY EVERYTHING TIES BACK TO THEM AND THEYRE DISCUSSED IN LO #also i know ppl feel a big kind of way about the silmarillion not being adapted but i think it IS possible for it to be done well and like #there are so many ppl who love the movies and have no idea it exists or don't have it in them to read it bc it's dense and i just #want the silm to be accessible to them #like it's five season #give the music of the ainur and the valaquenta a season #3 seasons for the quenta silm #1 season for the akallabeth and the rings of power/third age #i have it all figured out okay #i feel so strongly about this #tolkien #yeet

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yeojagroup · 2 years

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i had a hellish day yesterday from near beginning to end with v brief respites in between to laugh at stupid things,, but it started with someone i don't rly keep in contact with anymore messaging me a voiceclip of me as a minor saying something Completely innocuous like "[redacted], i love you!" and it. flipped me the fuck out because the day before that happened, i was talking to my friends abt sexual predators / groomers lurking around in the online communities we grew up in as unsupervised children with access to the internet... i told this person why even though im sure they meant no harm that it frightened the fuck out me and asked them to delete it + blocked them after. no correlation to what im about to vent about except the fact that i feel like i'm ........ outrunning scooby doo villains and people who dont understand boundaries

and after that i had to drag my ass to another urgent care / doc in the box place to get a steroid shot + more antibiotics because this sinus infection has been taking it's SWEET ass time to clear out and i've been getting so frustrated with myself + my body for not healing as fast as i need or want it to that i've been. very snappy and irritable as a result of the frustration, apologizing for the snappiness, as well as apologizing for not being able to keep up with housework and thanking my parents profusely for helping me certain things. anyway uh ,, i got my dad to take me to the urgent care and bc my mom didn't go with us, i told her what happened during the office visit and. the doctor listened to me breathe, asked if i was a smoker and i was like.. "no..." and then automatically filled in the blanks for me with, "but you live with ppl that do?" so i was like.

yeah ........ and was then told that can make a person more prone to sinus infections. which, like yeah, definitely but the fact that i have an autoimmune disease doesn't help. fast forward to me repeating this, because it's what i was told and im . communicating how i could get better and my mom is immediately like, "oh, so because ur brother and i smoke, that's why ur not better?" so i was immediately like. uhm. no! not what i said. but it sure is an irritant and if you want to take my words wildly out of context that's fine. it could be guilt manifesting itself v inappropriately but as soon as that happened my blood ran cold and i was like .. haha ...... oh Fuck.

like i felt like i had dug myself a hole bigger than the one i'm trying to pull myself out of because. yea ...... i don't , even have the energy to repeat myself when u cut me off much less fucking reason with you. i was told, "you aren't the only person whose sick" and was like. yes . i get that. that's why the fact that i'm not better is feeding into my stress!!! and the fact that i can't get u to do anything for me or put effort into understanding that my body functions differently than yours even tho u gave me one half of my immune system makes me feel even Sicker and even more unable to rest. it's like ... truly the most exasperating feeling when *you're* feeling this frustrated with yourself and body, u can feel ur own patience running out so the possibility of someone outside of yourself having more understanding with you or inconvenience themselves to help you just feels like. a fucking impossible feat to accomplish.

it's rly been that way since the pandemic started, just this feeling of people not willing to make what seems like a minuscule sacrifice to help increase ur quality of life. i know this will all pass but it's been 2 weeks + just me reaching my boiling point after feeling so Physically terrible, and after that convo with my mom i just cried... and i told my friend, it's not like she never acknowledges what she does or says to me isn't fucked up or never shows remorse. she does, it's just such a disproportionate response that i have No fucking idea what to do with it........ i.e "i did x so you don't have to" and i'm just like. huh... and you know instinctively know, oh, this is all i'm gonna get, so i've gotta move on.

#txt #this is probably the most vulnerable ive been in a while but #already had my psych app this month and i cannot . process this level of fuckery ..#vent /

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ihatebnha · 2 years

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hiii sorry to bother you!! I was just wondering how you grew your acc and got traction on ur posts when u first made ur account? <3

Aww, you're not a bother at all! I always love getting asks, so this is nothing.

I know I'm not supposed to be on here, but... I've always wanted someone to ask me this so I got a little excited LOL. I really hope this helps, and feel free to send in any specific questions if I'm unclear about anything because I know for a FACT that I've probably missed some stuff.

Disclaimer: this is just how I did it during an interest boom as someone who doesn't write long fics... obviously, it's different for everyone and there's no wrong way to have or run a writing blog esp. since viewership has changed <3

I think I should start off with saying... one of the main ways I gained traction was by writing and posting my own prompts. Daily.

I actually wanted to start a blog specifically because I'm bad at coming up with my own ideas... but when I was just starting out, I figured it would be really difficult to get anon requests (and especially those that were in tune with what I wanted to write) if I didn't actually have any content out... so I personally worked SUPER hard at just posting a handful of my own drabbles every couple days in order to get the material flowing and the repertoire established with or without any interaction/response.

I think... this and this were two of my first posts? Nothing too complex obviously, but both being unrelated to requests.

It's also important to note that posting pieces specifically is what I did and DO believe keeps the influx of followers steady. Sure, you can be the funniest person on earth and have banger reblogs, but as someone very picky about the blogs I follow and the content I see on my dash, I have found there always needs to be some flow of writing and/or serious content discussion... even if it's just a think piece... for people to really, truly care about talking to you.

It's very likely that you'll have less people following you specifically to interact if all your posts are non-writing related reblogs of things. It is possible to get followers by just supporting authors that way, but you'll never have people banging on your door to chat unless you make stuff of your own and post it somewhat consistently.

For me, I had a couple of regular anons at less numbers, but I wasn't getting all that many consistently til I had about 800-1000+.

I also... worked really hard at ONLY posting writing related things... even if it was hard or I hated the prompt LOL... and I even kept personal posts kept to a minimum for the longest time. I'm still recovering from that LOL.

But... I think it really helped that I started out writing smut first? People LOVE smut... and it doesn't even have to be that long (or good) to get attention, so that definitely helped me.

...Let's see. Another thing that I think I was benefitted by was having a good URL and an easy to navigate, DISTINCT theme (my theme was a meme for like four months LOL).

I've always refused to lean on those fancy, term-coded ones because I find them rather..................... access-unfriendly, but being recognizable is SO important as I ALWAYS notice people in my inbox when their urls are cool or their themes standout, even if they don't actually write.

And though it's not required, I also think it's easier to find moots that way, too (esp if it's your main).

(And if someone you like follows you, make sure to say hi or send an ask off anon!!)

ALSO, I think it's super important to set up a masterlist the second you have content out and to either put it either as or on your pinned post. Back when there were more blogs and I read content more regularly, I literally wouldn't go through blogs if it wasn't easy to find ALL of their work... and I'm sure theres a few people who remember this, but for the longest time, my pinned post was literally just "masterlist."

A masterlist is what proves to people that you have work you want to share and that it's worth looking at!!!

But to continue, and I say this not just as an author, but as someone who's been on tumblr since 2011.... all that shit about tagging posts with 5 billion things? That's mumbo jumbo tbh. Your posts may end up more places... but no where that important because tumblr only tracks the first five tags.

"____ x reader" is really the MAIN thing I worried about... and I always made sure it was the FIRST tag I put. I kept all my personal thoughts TIL AFTER I established where I wanted the post to be found.

As an example, when I first started, I would tags pieces: "bakugo x reader, bakugou x reader, bakugo, katsuki bakugo x reader, katsuki bakugou x reader" and that's IT.

These days, you can probably get away with even less than that as the tags are a fucking mess and no one important really looks at them.

And mainly... I think I was just patient. I definitely got asks at first but... it took me MONTHS to get anywhere close to where I'm at now... and even then, I think I've lost a lot of regulars due to inconsistent posting.

The thing about this all though, is that... running a blog is a different experience for everyone, and frankly, SHOULD REMAIN DIFFERENT. I know my views are very biased based on how I interact on tumblr... but that's what makes the community stronger, you know? Coming together.

SO, TL;DR: post content DAILY, be identifiable, tag well, and HAVE PATIENCE... and you should be fine. I'm sure there will come a day when you reflect back and miss being a smaller blog.

Good luck❤️

#just do whatever u want tho it doesnt matter as long as ur posting #once u get to a certain stage it stops mattering lol #but eeeeee #gotta go now before i panic and delete everything #ask #caitie chats #caitie thoughts #anon

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paversandplatters · 3 years

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||𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙱𝚎𝚑𝚊𝚟𝚒𝚘𝚛 𝚘𝚏 𝚂𝚑𝚎𝚎𝚙|| (2/20)

Apocalypse! Au (TW! Minor gore and cussing)

Reader x multiple

Chapter 2: The church

Y/n puts the vehicle in gear carefully making a U turn and starts down the road in a westerly direction. Her original plan was find refuge in one of the larger towns along North Florida’s citrus belt such as Lake City or Gainesville- still seems viable despite the fact that the engine continues to ping and complain- something has come loose during the plunge to the woods and she doesn't like the sound of it. They need to find a place to stop soon look under the hood, get their wounds looked at- rest maybe, maybe find some provisions and fuel.

“Hey look!” Nick speaks up from the shadows of the rear seats pointing off to the Southwest at the end of the lot.

Y/n drives another 100 yards or so and then brings the Escalade to a stop at the gravel shoulder. She kills the engine and silence crashes down on the car’s interior, it’s almost deafening. Nobody says anything at first- they just stare at the road sign in the middle of the distance. It's one of those cheap translucent white fiberglass ones, set on wheels with the big removal plastic letters still bearing the words “Calvary Baptist Church all welcome Sunday 9 -&- 11.”

Through the spindly Cypress trees and columns of pine that line the road, she can see the luminous white gravel of a deserted parking lot. The long narrow lot leads to the front of a building, it's broken stained glass windows partially boarded up. Its steeple caved in on one side and scorched as if its seen a bombing raid. She stares at the huge steel cross at the top of the steeple- which is covered with a patina of rust- has come loose from its moorings.

It now lays upside down dangling by the remains of its rotted hardware. She can't help but get very still while gazing up at the ruin upended cross, the symbolism isn't lost on her but it may only be the beginning. She never been one for religion but realizes that this may very well be a sign that they've been left behind and this is the rapture and the world is a purgatory now. They’ll have to deal with what remains like junkyard dogs or vermin stuck in a sinking ship.

“Remind me”she says almost under her breath not taking her eyes off the building in the distance one of the windows in the rear has a dull yellow incandescent glow, behind it the chimney is spewing a thin wisp of smoke into the lightning sky.

“how much ammunition did y'all manage to scavenge before we left Calhoun?” the two young men give each other a quick look

Nick speaks up “I have one of the 33 round mags for the Glock and a box of two dozen .380s for the other pistol and that's it..”

“That's more than I managed.” George grimaces “all I managed to grab ammunition wise is what was in the office which I think it's like 6 rounds, maybe 8?”She picks up her Glock from the seat counting the number of times she's fired since they left Calhoun she's got six rounds left.

“All right gentlemen ... I want you to bring all of it, all the hardware locked and loaded.” she opens the door “and look alive…”

The two men get out of the vehicle and join her in the Golden light of the dawn. Something is wrong, Nick notices His hand are shaking as he injects a fresh magazine into the hilt of his pistol

“Y/n, I don't understand” he says finally.

“what are we loading up for? I doubt there's anything in there but scared church people. What are we doing?”

But she's already started down towards the church- her Glock is gripped tightly in her hands, arms dangling at her side like a calling card.

“It's the end of the world boys there's no such thing as church anymore it's all up for grabs…”

The two young men glanced at each other for a moment before hurrying up to catch up with her. They approached the property from the rear, through the grove of sickly eucalyptus trees that mark the outer edges of the churches lot. She can smell the stench of menthol and ammonia in the air as she creeps across the weed whiskered gravel, careful not to make too much noise when her boots crunch under the stones. The light in the chapel's rear window has dwindled with the morning sun and the roaring of crickets fade now, the silence returns over making her heart throb in her ears.

She pauses behind a tree about 20 feet away from the lighted window ... With a few quick hand signals she rouses the two who are hiding behind a nearby oak. Nick moves out from behind cover carrying the pistol against his solar plexus like a vestigial appendage. George moves behind his friend wide eyed and jumpy flinching at the twinges of pain. These two are not exactly the crème de la crème in the world's new survivor class she realizes but perhaps she should see these young men as they truly are. Loyal partners, and friends- surviving all the same.

She issues another signal stabbing a finger at the rear of the building. One by one the three of them move toward the small woodside annex off the rear of the Chapel- she’s in the lead her pistol now gripped in both hands, now pointed downward. The closer they get the more the sun rises over the horizon the more they realize something isn't right. The windows of the building and rectory of the deacons quarters are lined with aluminum foil. The screen door has been ripped off its hinge and the inner door is nailed shut and crisscrossed with lumber. The stench of the dead permeates the air and gets stronger as they approach. She reaches the building first and she gently stands with her back against the boarded door signaling the others with a the tip of her finger to her lips.

They approach as quietly as possible, stepping lightly over the trash and dead leaves that are skidding across the back of the deck in the morning breeze. George stands just behind her, while Nick keeps to her side, both keeping weapons at the ready. She reaches down to her scuffed boot and pulls out a 12 inch Randall knife from the interlining. She carefully wedges the point under one of the boards near the door latch and Yanks.

The door probes stubborn. She pries at it repeatedly with the knife making more racket than she cares to but she has no choice they would make even more noise if they had tried to break through one of the windows. The nails give slightly the creaking sound amplified and the hushed daylight. She has no idea of what they're about to find inside this building but she fairly certain now that both humans as well as the dead inhabit this place.

Zombies don't build fires and the average survivor with the access to soap and water doesn't usually smell like death. The door finally gives and the two men moving closer to her, guns up now as they enter at the same time. They find themselves in an empty room illuminated by dim yellow light and the smell of stale smoke and Bo smacks them in the face. She crosses the floor, her boots making the floorboards creak. She makes note of the small potbelly stove still radiating the heat of the dying embers, the braided rug stained with blood, a desk littered with teabags, dishes, candy wrappers gossip magazines, a few empty 44 bottles and crumpled cigarette packs…

She goes over to the desk and looks down at the display of playing cards arranged in the classic poker pattern it looks like somebody, likely a hand full of people, were here only a moments ago and left in a hurry. A noise from behind the inner doors suddenly takes her attention. she whips her head around to the source, both men stand across the room gazing sheepishly back at their leader.

Again she puts a four finger to her lips giving them the signal to hush. The two mens eyes are aglow with nervous tension, on the other side of the door shuffling noises build, the telltale sound of dragging feet. There's also the reek of mortified flesh almost as pungent as the methane and it's getting stronger. She recognizes that a number of undead are trapped in an enclosed space. She turns and points to George’s shotgun.

Nick understands that he's supposed to blow the lock off the door and George is supposed to back them both up. Neither young man is very happy about this plan. Nick looks pale and George is drenched in sweat both of them nursing wounds and perhaps even internal bleeding. Neither seem gung ho about fighting off and undetermined number of biters. But she is an irresistible leader and the mere look in her eyes is enough to kill any dissension in the ranks. She holds three fingers up. She begins to countdown. 3, 2-

A loud crack sounds as a rotten hand covered with mold burst through the weak spot in the lumber.

Nothing in reality ever seems to play out the way George imagines it should. He trips on his backward shuffling feet and falls on to the floor. The pain in his ribs explode the injury jostled by the impact and at the same time another pair of hands thrust their way through the busted slats of the door. Looking up he sees she has pulled something from her boot. He watches as a dull gleam of a Buck knife strikes through the air. She drives the blade through the tissue and cartilage sawing through the bone it’s hands flopping to the floor as neatly as tree limbs being pruned.

George watches as he tries to sit up, the back of his throat burns and his body threatens to upchuck the paltry contents of a stomach. Things are moving quickly now, hands are flopping around him like fish on a boat’s deck, slowly growing still as the electrical impulses from the reanimated central nervous system drains out. George’s vision blurs his mind swimming dizziness gripping him as his wounded lungs labor to get air.

She's already scooped the fallen shotgun from the floor pumping shells into its breach with a single jerk of her arms as she turns back to the door George manage to get himself back up into a standing position kicking the ghastly hands out of the way . She slims a boot into the door and it implodes revealing the interior of a dark Chapel. Nick gets a fleeting glimpse of the sanctuary before the 1st blast shatters the tableau.

What was once a quaint little church with stain glass and pine pews now resembles an arbiter from the 9th circle of hell. The dead number in dozens maybe as many as 40 or 50 most of them chained to the pews with heavy chains. They react to the light of the outer room as if she had just turned over her oktan exposed a colony of vermin.

Insensate faces jerk towards the noise, some are decorated with spiked collars and others have large makeshift cage like muzzles. The scene gives a a sense of some sort of demented zoo or kennel for these reanimated cadavers. Stranger still, in that terrible instant before the first flash of the 12 gauge, it seems like somebody apparently tried to administer these beings after they were reanimated.

In front of each are dead birds morsels, pieces of roadkill or unidentified human remains are scattered in the pews next to each being. The candles still burn in the same sanctuary on the advert stands in the front room on the modest little altar. Somewhere the buzz of a live microphone drones. The air smells of modified sewage perfumed with rancid flesh and disinfected.

Nick gets one final glance at her before the air lights up- the look on her face is a mixture of sorrow, rage, loss and regret. It's the look of someone confronting the merciless abyss. Then the shooting starts.

The first blast flashes and takes the closest cadaver down in a puff of carnal tissue, the shell ripping through the skull and taking a chunk out of the wood above the door. Three subsequent shots happen, making their ears ring. Already covered with blowback her anguished face stippled and splattered, she now moves deeper into the Chapel and starts in on the others.

It only takes a few minutes, the air flashing like a fireworks display as she goes from pew to pew, either vaporizing skulls or thrusting her Randall knife through petrified nasal cavities before the things even get a chance to bite at the air. George staggers towards the open door to get a better view and he notices Nick just in the side Chapel entrance.

She has the strangest look on her face now as she finished off the last of the monsters with a hard quick slashes of the knife the gun has been emptied, 8 shells peppering the wall behind the heaps of moldering flesh. Completely slick with blood, her eyes burning with inscrutable emotions, she almost looks beatific as she dispatches with the last re animated corpse .

For one terrible moment watching this all from the doorway Nick thinks of a woman having an orgasm. She lets out a voluptuous sigh of relief as she impales the skull of what seems to be an elderly woman. The Crone sacks against the back of her Pew, she was once somebody's mother, somebody's neighbor. She may have once baked cookies for her grandchildren search for famous bread pudding add ice cream socials and laid to rest her beloved husbands of 47 years in the Cemetery out behind the rectory .

Y/n pauses to catch her breath staring down at the woman, head bowed for a moment, when all at once she abruptly stops and looks up narrowing her eyes. She cocks her head to one side and listens closely to something in another part of the building at last she fixes her gaze on George and so softly whispers

“do you hear that ?”

@the-wandering-pan-ace

#dmsp #dsmp x reader #dream smp x reader #techno x reader #georgenotfound x y/n #sapnap x reader #philza x reader #tommyinnit #tubbo #ranboo #the behavior of sheep

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trans-axolotl · 1 year

Text

for anon

Hi, Anon 💜I’m going to reply in this post so I can answer both your asks at once. Do want to give a quick note to any followers reading that this post will discuss OCD, intrusive thoughts, and compulsions, and any followers who feels like these topics might be activating, please follow your best judgement.

First off, thank you for sharing and trusting me with your experience. I want to validate that what you’re going through truly does sound so exhausting, terrifying, and laborious to deal with day after day. It makes a lot of sense that you’ve gotten to what feels like a breaking point, and I want to hold space to acknowledge the depths of your pain and crisis right now. And I also want to recognize all the work you’re already doing to survive and get your basic needs met even through the agony you have been experiencing in the past 14 months. I know how hard it is when you’re dealing with this stuff literally 24/7, and how the cycles of intrusive thoughts and compulsions can make it feel impossible to even think about reaching out for support or letting someone know what’s going on. The things you’re already doing--writing to me about your experiences, finding a few possible options for help, being able to admit that you do love life--all of those are important + worth appreciating.

Your vivid and poetic descriptions of your experience really resonated with me. I don't want to detract from your experiences, but I do want to share that for a few years of my life, my experience was very, very similar in terms of how I experienced my intrusive thoughts, obsessions, and compulsions, and I felt a similar level of distress. It really was around two years of complete hell for me and although it absolutely wasn’t easy or something that happened overnight, my OCD is now considered in remission and is no longer something that brings me that level of distress. I don’t want to invalidate your current experience at all, but rather just make room for this complexity that was true for me: that things became completely awful and felt like my life had been destroyed, and at the same time, there was the possibility that this level of distress would not last forever, and that I would be able to get to a point where I would feel able to engage with my life in a way that felt meaningful again.

Right now, it might be worth thinking through what feels like the most important short term goal. Maybe one goal might be to try to stabilize the thoughts just enough so that you feel capable of reaching out to a friend or community member in your real life who would be able to help you navigate accessing support. Or maybe a goal is to lessen the distress associated with your thoughts by 5% so that you feel better capable of creating a crisis plan, making sure that your home is as safe as possible in the moments where everything starts to feel very urgent. Or maybe you might want to focus on stabilizing the thoughts enough to reach out to some of the options for help you’ve identified, whether that’s looking into therapy + psychiatry in your area, or whatever other healing options make sense to you. Whatever feels like a priority right now to you.

I’m going to share a few strategies that have helped me and some other people I know with OCD. These might not work for you right away, or just not resonate with you at all, and that’s completely okay if some of these things don’t feel like they will be helpful for your situation right now. I will say for a lot of these strategies, they did not feel like they helped at all the first dozen times I tried them, and it was only through repetition and practice that they started to feel like they were making a little bit of a difference.

For me, a really meaningful strategy was working towards radical acceptance. Radical acceptance can seem super counterintuitive, especially when we’ve been living in thought cycles for months, and when our brains seem to be telling us that the only thing that will help us feel better is the compulsions, and but then usually the compulsions just make us feel worse or our thoughts more intense. And especially when the content of our intrusive thoughts doesn't feel in line with our values, I know it can really heighten the distress we experience. Radical acceptance doesn’t mean that we have to like our thoughts, that we have to agree with our thoughts, or that we have to feel positive about our thoughts. Instead, it’s a skill that can help us get a certain level of distance from our thoughts and not feel as completely fused to them. One metaphor that a lot of people use to describe it is thinking about your mind like the sky. Thoughts come into the your mind in the same way that weather can come into the sky--whether it’s thunderstorms, tornados, rain, or a sunny day, the sky is always there, the same way your mind is always there regardless of the thoughts passing through it. The metaphor I use for myself is to think about my mind like a door. To me, my obsessive cycles of intrusive thoughts and mental compulsions made me feel like I was continually opening and shutting a door. Instead of fusing with my thoughts, trying to continually reassure myself, say the right words or do the right compulsions, obsess over morals, trying to just metaphorically force the door to stay open or stay shut, it helped to think about my mind as the door frame that the door, my thoughts, were moving in. This really helped me just get a tiny bit of separation from the obsessive cycles and actually ended up starting to lessen the intensity of the obsessions and compulsions, a tiny bit at a time.

The practical things that helped me do that were a skill called observe and describe from Dialetical Behavioral Therapy, and a skill called thought defusion from Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. I’m also going to link some worksheets for some distress tolerance coping skills that work by changing your physical experience in the moment to try to ground you and pause your brain for a moment, as well as a crisis plan template. Here’s a google drive folder with copies of those therapy worksheets.

Observe and describe essentially is jut taking a step back from your internal experience, and paying attention to what’s going on in your head using a neutral framework. When I’m using this skill, I’ll say things to myself like “I’m noticing I’m having a thought about (example distressing topic). I’m noticing that this thought is making me feel really anxious. I’m aware that right now I’m getting more anxious the longer I go without doing my compulsion. I’m noticing that this thought feels like it's getting louder.” This can seem super basic, but really helped me turn down my distress like 5%. The describe part of observe and describe is about describing the way you’re interacting with your reality at the moment, again with neutral statements. If you’re doing something like washing the dishes or preparing food, for example, you could say things like “I’m observing that the water is cold. I’m noticing that this food tastes spicy. I can feel that my leg is bouncing against the ground.” This started to help me feel more in touch with my body and reality, and made me feel a little bit more able to engage with the daily tasks I needed to do. And you can adapt in whatever way makes sense to you--I have some friends who write out their observations, some other people who doodle them, or otherwise conceptualize it with images.

The other skill I’m recommending is thought defusion. This is from Acceptance and Commitment therapy, and the worksheets I linked above have a bunch of different mental techniques for visualizing how to do this. Essentially, it’s a bunch of skills that use metaphorical thinking, silly or novel behavior, or visualization techniques to try to add some separation between you and your thoughts. It’s not focused on changing the thoughts or getting rid of them, but changing your relationship with your thoughts.

For all these skills, I would recommend practicing them for a short period of time at first + using self soothing techniques or preferred distractions afterwards if possible. For example, I set a goal just to practice for 1-5 minutes, and then seeing how I felt afterwards, maybe journaling about it, and continually just practicing it for short periods of time everyday. I would just tell myself that this was something I could do every day--I didn’t have to do it or make it an obligation, but it was something I could try out and be curious about. I know that all of this can seem really trivalizing when the thoughts are this intense, and I know I felt really patronized and frustrated when people told me to try out these techniques. But for me, with enough time, these techniques helped stabilize me enough to do even more in depth work and got me to a point where intrusive thoughts are now an occasional moment rather than my continual experience.

I don’t have all the answers and I wish there was some coping skill or strategy I could share that could instantly make your distress more bearable. I’m here to listen and my inbox will always be open to you, even if you just want to come to give an update, vent, or express how things still feel terrible. I’m sorry that things have gotten so incredibly hard and that you’ve had to deal with this mostly by yourself for so long, and at the same time I’m holding hope here for you that there is a way out of this and that there is the possibility for transformation, even if the way forward doesn’t look the exact same way your life looked before your mind starting moving in this way.

Sending all the solidarity + best wishes your way, anon 💜💜💜

#asks #ocd #intrusive thoughts tw #to be clear anon im not trigger warning because anything you sent was bad or unacceptable or shameful #but just because ik a lot of people with obsessive experiences who are easily triggered by reading anything about #others experiences #that's not the case for me and you don't need to censor yourself or change anythiing about the way you've been interacting #suicide tw

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cherrykamado · 2 years

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i think you blog looks so nice

i want to make my blog pretty but i dont know where to start :( do you have any tips cause this is so daunting omg

OMG ty nonnie!! im so glad u like my blog 🥺💚

soooo they might not be the best best tips ever but here's what i do! long as fuck post ahead lol

CODES — i use desktop a lot like,, what even is mobile lmfao (lies i use mobile but nothing compared to the amount of time im on desktop hehe). if you like to use desktop too, this can be a good start! some of the codes can be customized more easily than others, whereas some others you'll have to edit from the very same html.

here are some of my fav theme makers! glenthemes, demontimes, taesz, seyche, moo, felinum, userbru, ricecodes.

AESTHETIC — most blogs have an aesthetic and basically anything can be an aesthetic, for instance garden, café, space, music, your fav character... luckily you got a world of possibilities hehe.

now this is another possibility! mash all the things you like into a theme, why not? with aesthetics what you do is make your littol corner at this hellsite about you. idk, like decorating your room? but yea, aesthetics are supposed to help you create a space that you like and are happy with, so go all out if that's what you want!

▷ navigation: if you're setting up your blog to post your writing, having a navigation will make it easier for your readers to find their way around your blog. Rules are a must. A masterlist is a must. An about me is optional, but highly recommendable (if not, you can add a bit about you on your pinned post such as your alias, age and such.)

▷ layouts: my layouts are different throughout the posts, i tend to change my format in ways i think they can catch the attention of whoever reads, if it makes sense? i don't have a specific one, you could say, i like to experiment hehe. in my case, i use tons of visuals, cute fonts and all that.

if it helps, this is what i use: tumblr fonts, emojis, symbols. (another trick to access to some symbols is that, if you're on windows, you can hit the windows key + .

▷ visuals: you don't need to, of course this is optional, but most content creators like to add their personal touch to their posts (fics, and navigation posts) by using visuals (gifs, videos or just images.) and dividers as well. there are a looot of softwares you can use, free and paid. i know most people use canva (sometimes when i'm lazy i use it too!), because it's suuper user friendly, and quick. i know there are other softwares such as superimpose x, picsart, and more!

if you need dividers, you can always search on tumblr! lots of people make cool ones and they're usually free to use so that may come in handy!

personally i like to make videos and gifs, but i'm complicated as hell so i like to make my own designs. i use vegas pro to make the layout, using the effects i want, and even play sum music if i feel like making a video. If I wanna make a gif, i render the video at vegas and then gif it at photoshop.

if you don't have photoshop but have some knowledge on it, you can use the alternative online version which looks a looot like it, it's photopea!

▷ tags: most people like to make their tags fit their theme, so that's an option. i made tags for my asks, for my moots, for my navigation, reading list, recommendations, references and collabs. now since my theme is messy and disorganized, i don't make the tags fit the theme (just because i'm lazy to change them lol).

lies, what truly happened is that when i first started my blog i made super cringey tags. sometimes i even come across them and feel embarrassed lmaoaoaoa. now everything's tagged as 🍒 — cherry's something. i keep it neutral in that sense because i also don't like that much when tags are not intuitive (at least for my writing blog hehe.), and also because i want them to fit any theme so i don't really worry about making them fit the aesthetic. besides, as i said before, my theme is like a frankestein lmao.

⇒ important: if you use someone's text /blog as a reference make sure to let them know first, ask for their permission! credit them too. what's made easier for you might've taken a lot of time for others so be mindful of that!

the important thing here's that you make your blog a space on your own, a happy place for you, a place you wanna return to. personalizing it as you deem the best is a great idea to do so, so yeah! creativity is key here. go all out! experiment with different colors, different themes, and such!

hope this was somehow easy to understand! i tried to explain everything from the top of my head, and as easy as i could, but i know sometimes i might not be clear so if you need anything else lmk!

xoxo, cherry<3

#🍒— cherry's mail #anon<3 #🍒 — the refs #sorry i took so long to answer this LMFAO the beta editor ate half of my response n i was too mad to work on it again asdngk

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onf-headcanons · 4 years

Text

First time

A Hyojin x reader fic

A/N: warning really long post , smut, fingering, soft dom hinting (?)

• A/N: actually i was writing with Korean dialogue in my head and i got stuck on the English word for 알았어/Arasso (understood, I get it but you can use it when empathising or agreeing with people in conversation) because the nuance is stiff if I used "understood" so I altered to "ok". But "ok" I worry it might sound like brush off even though it currently has the best nuance fit. So just heads up before you read. OK = Arasso in korean

• Again English is not my mother tongue even tho its my second language. So please bear with me if my English or my writing is horrible and weird

• OK story time let's go

• Knowing that you are inexperienced and it is your first time having a relationship, he never bring it up about having sex with you because he does not want to burden you and he does not want you to feel obligated

• He does have his needs but he just settle it himself so you also felt weird about him keeping quiet about the issue

• Maybe slightly triggered your uneasiness if he actually has another person but you do not dare to confront him because deep down you know you are just overthinking. So you try to bring it up sound non chalantly as possible on a Friday night, (which you failed to sound non chalant).

• You two are sitting at couch and Hyojin noticed your focus was not on the TV. His instincts kick in and he switched off the TV before he turns to you.

• "Anything bugging you?" The boy in red hair asks while looking into your eyes with concerned look. You pursued your lips and averted his gaze before replying him.

• Hyojin is surprised at your reply because he did not expect it. He truly thought you will be talking about concerns that has been stressing you out.

His signature "Uh-Oh??" sound comes out due to confusion

• He kinda lost his composure a bit. He is clearing his throat and he eyes are wavering. But you also noticed the corner of his lips rises upwards.

• "You sure?" He confirms with you.

• This time you look into his eyes and nods. His smile widens as he pats your head and ruffles you hair while at it.

• Hyojin speaks with a gentle tone: "Thank you for letting me know. Let's choose a day or date maybe? There is preparation-"

• You dropped another bomb before he could finish mentioning everything is prepared. Even condoms as well when you does not even know his size. Cues in flustered Hyojin.

• "Now this is awkward.. As your boyfriend, I am the one who supposed to prepare all of it. But you have done it all..."

• You expected him to say thank you but he went i to prankster mode and goes

• "*fake coughs* You are not the pure little baby I know anymore..."

• You quickly grasp his sarcastic tone and you could feel heat gushed from you chest and then to your ears. You lightly smack him on his shoulder as punishment for teasing you. He just laughs and apologies while loosely gripping your wrist.

• Both of your eyes meet again and you jolted a bit at the moment his other hand cups your cheek. He smirks a bit at how cute you reacted.

• "Y/N-ah, are you really sure now its fine?" He reconfirms while his thumb is caressing you cheekbone.

• "You are hesitating." You know when he is and you are not afraid to point it out.

• "Of course I am ! "Hyojin's tone suddenly goes higher and his eyes got bigger when he exclaims. You know him well that this is not an angry comment.

• "I tried my best not to bring this topic up since I truly afraid it will bring changes to our relationship. Bad changes I mean. I don't want to lose you by scarring you or make you feel burdened. " He elaborates his point and you nod at his words while listening.

• You smiled back at him and say: "I don't think I am that fragile. Thank you and sorry for making you endure so that you could protect our relationship. "

• Hyojin looking at you with a weird face while asking for the one last time, "You do know what does it mean right? Its not going to be just kisses and hugs like how we normally do it."

• You giggles at his weird Taurus energy that is insecure to sudden changes and reply him, "Yes I do."

• Hyojin pursed his lip for a short moment then he shortens his distance with you. He lands a peck on your lips like how he did usually. His hand that was gripping in your wrist shifts to holding your hand tightly with fingers interlocking. The other hand slides from your face to your chin.

• "Tell me if you want me to stop ok?" He says before pressing his lips on yours again. It was a different way of him kissing you than usual. He nibbles your lips a bit while still leaving light kisses in your forehead and jawline.

• You squeezed your eyes tightly shut and let him takes the lead. He saw you doing it and giggles.

• You open your eyes again when you heard him. Hyojin with smiley eyes pulls you towards him and kisses you again . You can totally tell he is trying things out with you as his advances.

• You responds back by copying how he did previously. You tense up a little when his tongue slightly swept your lips. He asks if you hated it and you shake your head.

• You noticed he paused a bit due to hesitation so you initiated another kiss by wrapping your arms around his neck and pulls him closer. His other hand which was interlocking fingers with you comes loose and shifted to your waist. You lost your balance and your back lands on the couch and cushions pillows. Hyojin did not land his full weight on you, he has his other arm supporting himself against the couch.

• He breaks off the kiss the moment your back landed on the couch and he is nagging at you to slow down while giving off the smug grin.

• (Might says phrase like cheon cheon hi haja chagiya / Slow down honey)

• You do not know how to respond but only look at him. Your hands which were on his shoulders moves to cup his cheeks while looking a bit pouty.

• Hyojin reads your intention immediately and replies with "OK i got it."

• He reach out to place his thumb underneath your lips. With a bit of pressure and your co-operation, you open up your mouth. He moves a bit to gain a better access before landing another kiss on you again.

• With a bit tongue involved, your body tense up and you hear yourself making noises responding to him unconsciously. Due to embarrassment, you clenches your fist. By doing that your grip on his shirt tightens to the point that he could not help noticing

• He pries in further with his tongue to explore more of your reactions. He is not forceful and still occasionally nibbling your lips. The aura and mood between you two changes and you could feel it. You whimpers when his hand which was at your back slides your waist. You felt somewhat ticklish so you push him away while breathing heavily.

• "Ticklish?" He asked.

• "I will be touching you for a bit." Before you answer, he continues his sentence while moving his hand underneath your shirt. The heat of his palm comes in contact with your bare skin. He caresses and drawing circles on your stomach which makes you jolts and squirms. His palm are not scorching hot but warm. You let out more soft noises in response to his touch.

• He moves his hand upwards to your chest and you let out a gasp as he slowly traces your body line while watching you. You turn your head side to avoid his gaze. It did not help much as you still can feel his gaze scanning your facial expressions. With his hands still touching all over your upperbody, Hyojin starts to kiss the side of your neck and move towards your collarbone and shoulder. He nibbles and sucks your skin lightly until the area turns pink.

• He bites your earlobe lightly and you felt it was funny as if he is hungry. Maybe you felt you should say something because the silence, the sensation and the mood are overwhelming as well as driving you insane

• "I don't think I am tasty though." You chuckles while caressing the back of his nape.

• "Stop it you pabo, I am trying hard not to lose my cool here." He retorts as he pushes himself up.

• Only now you notices Hyojin's ears are red and he is panting too.

• "You don't have to." You retorts his statement.

• Hyojin pauses. He distances himself and look at you. He licks his upper lip before he goes, "Look, I am happy that you trust me but I seriously don't want you to get hurt or had a bad experience because of my recklessness."

• "I know." You reply him with a firm tone. "It's fine not to be perfect, it just has to be you."

• With your reply, Hyojin swallows saliva and he glances his surroundings and then stands up from the couch. He pulls you up while he moving away from the couch. While sitting up, your gaze follow his movement. He leans towards you and kisses your forehead. Still holding your hands, he says"It's not going to be comfortable here, let's head to bedroom shall we?"

• You nods and follow him

• Maybe he would say something like "sorry that I am not Jaeyoung. I can't bridal carry you." You just laughs at him while he leads you towards the bedroom door.

• In bedroom he lets you bring up all the stuff you prepared and he picks out condoms which fit his size and a bottle of lubricant while you sit on bed waiting.

• Seeing him pouting while scanning the lubricant label to double check the ingredients. You could not help but chuckled due to his cuteness. Hyojin heard you and asks "What is it?"

• "I am just relieved that my first time is with you." You smiles at him. And he grins in agreement while lightly toss the bottle up to the air once before approaching the bed. He drops all the stuffs on bed and he undresses himself but still leaving his underwear on.

• Seeing him doing it, you reaches out to the hem of your shirt too but Hyojin stops you, "Let me." He sits beside you kissing your neck while he shoves his hand underneath your shirt.

• With your shirt off, you could not help feeling awkward and your arms raised up in attempt to cover yourself

• (You have bra still on you if you are a fem reader. He reaches towards your back and unclasp it to make it come off. It suddenly felt like you final protection goes off and you slightly raised your arms awkwardly trying to cover yourself. He knows your emotion by your body language but he did not call you off nor grabs your wrists to pull your arms apart revealing yourself.)

• You two shift to the center of the bed and sit facing each other. You finally let your arms down because of uncomfortable due to awkwardness. Hyojin reaches out to cup your cheeks and kisses you on your forehead praising you. "That's it, no need to hide." He then kisses the area under your ear then moves around a bit following the curve of your neck and shoulder.

• You reach out to one of his hand and place your hand on top. He slips his hand off and hold yours tightly before lowering down both of your hands to rest them on bed. His thumb is rubbing the back of you hand, while his other hand that was cupping your cheek moves to your shoulder.

• With a slight push, you are now on your back while Hyojin adjusts his posture and hovers over you. He leans to kiss you on your lips with his hand moving downwards to your chest. His caress and touch got even more sensual than before when both of you are at the couch. It make you increase the frequency of your jolts and your soft cries. Your hand kept wandering between the sheets and his skin due to the unfamiliar overwhelming sensation

• The kiss was longer and passionate than you expected. You pat his shoulder and he back away for a bit for you to breathe. He want to have another kiss but you push him back and he halts.

• "Ummm, is there anything you want me to do for you as well? " you ask timidly.

• He just shakes his head while smiling, "Nah not now. Let's focus on you learning what does it mean to feel good."

• You nods and he continues, "Just stay still and feel me." Once he finishes you could feel your cheeks got hotter. The way he said it took a toll on your heart. How the hell he can deliver such lines non chalantly?

• And without warning he is now landing kisses on your upper chest area. Once you are more comfortable for him to progress even more, he starts using his tongue to trace your skin occasionally with some sucking and nibbling. His other hand reach out and fondle the other side of your chest area.

• You let out moans and whimpers in repsonse to his actions. Once in a while exhaling his name as he advances to your stomach area. Out of embarrassment you covered your mouth with your hand in attempt to muffle down the noise you make.

• "Don't cover your mouth unless you want me to be bad." says Hyojin once he found out you have been trying to silence your voice. His tone sends you chills and you move the hands around your face

• He is moving downwards and his hands are now at the side of you hips touching the cloth of your underwear. As his fingers dig into the space between your underwear and your skin, you quickly reach out by instinct and sink your fingers into his hairs while calling out his name. Hyojin stops and raises his head to check on you for a moment.

• Panting, you apologises for the sudden movement. And you give him the permission to continue. He slides his hand to your private part area and slowly traces you through the cloth of your underwear. You try hard to compose yourself because every touch tingle your nerves. You even end up tearing up a bit.

• "Feeling good?" His voice was lower than usual as he speaks. You nod with your eyes closed in response. With your eyes shut, you can tell that Hyojin is now stripping your underwear. You co-operated.

• Hyojin then backs away a bit to grab the lubricant nearby. You open your eyes out of curiosity since you could not feel his hands. The view of Hyojin pouring some lubricant to his palm appeared before you. Your breathing get heavier as you grasp the situation. You fully understood what is coming up.

• "This might be a little cold." He mentions while he also pour some on you. You squirms a bit when the liquid comes contact to your skin. Hyojin hovers over you again before notifying that he will be help you loosen up. He tears one condom and slip it over his finger.

• As he slowly inserts his finger into you slight pain follows. Your moans got sharper and your hands grasp the sheets tightly. Hyojin noticed your motions and asks if you want him to stop but you decline his offer. He helps you to relax by kissing your forehead, cheeks and lips. His other hand was on your head, giving you light pats.

• He slowly works on loosing you up and attentively inquiring if you are feeling OK. You try your best to respond to him with words so that you can convey your experience properly but what comes out from you mostly are just heavy breathes and whimpers. He lands kisses on your forehead praising you when you are able to take in more of his fingers. Then he starts to thrust and lightly pressing around slowly until he finds your sweet spot.

• You never experienced that excitement before and it engulfs you completely. You hand reach out to his unconsciously while letting out loud moans. Little that you know, was Hyojin has his smug smirk on while observing your reactions. "That's it. Remember the sensation you are experiencing. " He increase the pace of his movements while sharing a deep kiss with you.

• You felt a weird urge so you pushes him back and tell him about it. He remains silent and did not slow down his thrusting fingers at all. In fact, he slightly increases his speed. You are at the point unsure if you should beg him to continue or stop, you endup repeating his name with tears rolling down your cheeks instead.

• "Yah, why are you so cute?" Hyojin murmurs in soft voice, he did not expect this reaction of yours. He crawls up on you kissing and nibbling you on the side of your neck.

• "It's OK, let it out." He whispers into your ears. Succumbed by the sensation, you wraps your arms around his neck and buries you head into the curve of his shoulder. Finally the weird urge gushes out from inner of you. That whole moment was new to you. Your body felt weak and one of your leg twitching. Your chest moving up and down as your are catching you breath. Hyojin disposes the condom while giving you some space to breathe.

• Hyojin returns and wipes away the tears on your cheeks while smiling. He kisses your cheek while at it and praises you. He notifies you that he will be continuing and you nods. Once gotten your approval, he backs away to shift his position. He grabs your leg at the inner thigh with one hand and lifts up. Then he adjusts himself to be kneeling between your legs.

• He pulls you towards him making your legs are now spread open and resting at the side of his thighs. And your hips are slightly raised. You could feel his hard bulge pressing against you through his underwear. You tense up as you feel his warmth.

• Hyojin asks for a pillow and place it under the back of your waist for support. He finally expose his private part in front of you when he puts on a condom. You could not help placing your gaze to his body part but your view is quickly block by his face as he leans closer to you. "Look up here." Hyojin lifts your chin up while he whispers to you before sharing another passionate kiss with you. You let out moans as his body part directly rubbing on yours. The heat from him is scorching.

• "I will go slowly ok?" Hyojin breaks off the kiss and guides himself to your entrance. He gives a slight push while pursuing his lips and his brows frowning. You can tell he is focusing on not to add too much force so that you don't get hurt.

• But it still hurts slightly and you tried to endure it as possible as you can. Stopping him from advancing his length into you when needed. Once he has all of him inside you, he did not move immediately and let you get used to his shape. Hyojin kisses you without warning hoping to help you relax by distracting from the pain but it somehow backfires.

• "Hey don't tense up." He groans as he breaks the kiss. Few drops of his sweat drops on your chest. You whine at him that you did not mean to.

• "Sorry." He chuckles and coos you while stroking his thumb at the center your forehead to ease off the frown you are making. You then reach out to ruffle his red hair. He look at you quietly with a light grin on his face before resting his forehead on yours.

• You kind off get the gist that Hyojin is having a hard time as he is being restless. He is making small movements here and there as if he cannot focus and distracting himself by interacting with you. You cup his face and give him the permission to move.

• "Let's wait a bit until you get used to it -" before Hyojin could finish you cut him off telling him its perfectly fine for him to continue. He acknowledges your intention and adjusts himself to a position he is comfortable. He lands a few kisses in your abdomen while mentioning you are the best.

• He starts his movements slow while observing your reactions. He tries to find your sweet spot and once he hit the jackpot, it made you weak against the ecstasy. Seeing you feeling the pleasure he starts increasing his speed. Your moans increases in repsonse to his rhythm. Hyojin also let out soft noises and groans while praising how your voice riles him up.

• He closes in to you and hovers on top of you while thrusting into you. It goes even deeper and you could not stop jolting your legs as he goes in and out. While at it he keep letting out noises that bless your ears.

• You loosen up your fist clutching on the sheets and move your hands to his forearms occasionally calling out his name and murmurs "I love you." to him. He leans and kisses you without slowing down his pace.

• After a long kiss Hyojin breaks it off and both of you gasping heavily for air. You feel that urge again and you inform him about it. He tells you he is close too and buries his head to the curve of your neck to your chest as he let out more vocal groans.

• With several more thrusts you both climaxed. Hyojin gotten wear out and he rest his full weight on you for some while as he catches his breathe. You wipe his sweat on his forehead with the back of your hand and comb his bangs backwards before asking him if he feels good.

• With half of his face still buried at your chest area Hyojin mentions that he had an amazing experience with you. He pushes himself up and kisses you on your cheek. "How about you though?" he asks

• You answer his concern and thank him for being considerate. "Now I know why people would wanna do this with their partner." You look at him in the eyes with your finger stroking his cheek.

• Hyojin only smiles and kisses your forehead. He pushes himself up and away from you. His warmth inside you leaves your body but it is still looking energetic.

• Before you could say anything, your partner hurried himself out of the room to pantry and returns with a glass of water. He helps you as you push yourself up. Once you finished replenishing yourself "Let's get you cleaned up." He says as he grabs your arm.

• You pulls him back and carefully ask if his desire was not fully satisfied. He ruffles your hair and mentions he will settle it his own because he does not want to burden your body. You somehow feel obligated that Hyojin endured himself just because you are inexperienced. How long have he endured until today? Did he held back because of consideration?

• "Hyojin, " you call out. You bite your lower lip before you continues, " I want to do it again."

• "No need to rush, we have plenty of time to come." He responds while giving you another pull hinting you to get up. But you did not budge. Your eyes meet and he calls out your name because he could not resist your gaze.

• "I told you I am not fragile as you think, so don't hold back." You counter at his proposal.

• "Aish," as he curses he warns you before he pushes and pins you back to bed, "Don't blame me if you can't feel your legs tomorrow ok?."

A/N: thank you for those who made it until here. This is my first smut fic attempt so I again apologise if I did not meet your expectations . I tried to keep it gender neutral as possible.

-end-

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sheerioswifties · 4 years

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I only have another like 5 seconds to post right now but so I've not been able to securely set up a PayPal or venmo etc yet, we're still trying to figure that out (again it's really hard bc it could prevent us from getting housing help we need DESPERATELY like TODAY and then like ugh so many possible traps it's just hard we gotta do it the right way and can't think of someone we'd trust enough to do it for us so I really don't know yet) but so many of you have offered help and as much as I want to say that it's okay don't worry about it, I honestly really, really need help very badly

and so for the time being, one thing we can do, is if you/people want to get me digital gift cards like from amazon or other places that we can get basic needs like water, tp, food from etc, that helps a ton and I have found that you can DM me a gift card number/info / a screen shot of it and I can use it- that's worked in the past at least for Amazon and target... so if that's possible, please go for it.

Also, gas and hotel are up at the top as what we need most right away, and so idk if gas gift cards are possible; or also hotel chains maybe, or (and again I freaking HATE to doxx myself so much this way but) one of my favorite local hotel chains who've like I have a whole story with them and it's just a really special PNW thing, it's called McMenamins (hopefully my fellow pnw swifties know? @pnwswiftie @1989s @- crap you've all changed your urls I'll have to come back and add you but) and they have a website and I believe they sell gift cards there or if you wanted you could call and ask how to reserve a hotel room for somebody, idk. Sorry I'm really, really inarticulate right now so I'm hoping maybe those who wanna help this gives you some ideas. But yeah even DMing me amazon gift cards helps a ton. Idfififksltstlslts I gotta figure out paying this month's health insurance premium too bc we had to spend the little money we had on a uhaul and gas fotkfkfststostksotskst I'm honestly so screwed okay um

I gotta go but I love you alll so much seriously now that my story can be told you'll know just how much this online community has helped get me through these years of abuse and living under duress like you all have no idea how many moments there have been where I didn't think I'd make it but the smallest things, an encouraging quote a friendly ask funny fandom clownery following the rep tour virtually w you all... these things gave me hope gave me strength gave me reasons to keep surviving and fighting to get out of here, because I want so badly to get to a position where I can truly thank you each and pay forward all your kindness and everything and just. And yes @taylorswift @taylornation it's all because of you that I came here in the first place and your music has sustained me and your fandom has encouraged me and your fights and words and advice gave me the courage to speak out about my abuse and everything so I just. Again if I dont get the chance to I just needed to tell you all thank you, I love you, and I honestly am going to do everything I possibly can, with whatever life I have left after all this, to help as many others as I can in every way possible. Thank you♡

P.S. if for some reason I lose access to the Internet or this account, Catherine (was @imhereonthekitchenfloor ugh I don't know anyone's urls, C @sparksflymp3 knows her) has my phone # (obvs I don't want that given out but like u could tell her things to tell me or something idk) and Ash @tayloristhecontent has contact info too, both of you I've been out of touch with lately which I'm so sorry for and hopefully you understand why, it's been a nonstop crazy nightmare over here, but I love you and hope you're doing good and really hope to hug you and so many others here some day soon ♡ SO much love and thanks to @warmthebedonwednesday ♡♡♡♡♡♡♡

EDIT/Adding tags as I find them: @lovedyouthreesummers @shininglikefireworkssss @everybodyfallsapart @blacklistedswiftie @tellmewhy @ileftanote @genxtraordinaire @saraswift96 @bisexualstilllearning @beautiful-ghosts @proudtobeaswiftie @a-reluctant-witch @hopeinflowers @loveisbraveandwild13 @bleachellataylor @seattleswiftie @ivebeenthearcher @justwatchmebloom @the-swiftie-scientist @swiftful-thinking13 (idk maybe u know California resources??? Or can signal boost???) kfjfsksf @markruffalo @britneyspears @troyesivan @hayleykiyoko @tree-paine

#I'm going to come back and tag this when i can #and I'm also gonna maybe tag a whole bunch of you so yeah #fkkffkzfzkkfzlfz #update #personal #July 4 #helpbrynn

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petekaos · 4 years

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hey bro! how r u? am here today to ask ur thoughts on wyel. i might have set the bar high and now i expect a lot haha from what i've seen - and given the fact it's korean - i wouldn't erase the possibility of a bromance. but bro am i going to kill someone if they don't gimme development,, at this point i can even deal w bromance only, but i hope they won't villainize the woman and make everyone jealous. we only got 80min, give us fluffy and a well written woman character :'( - emo sis

bro, btw, there's something on my mind recently. i remember some time ago u said it would be nice to brightwin to step back from being sarawatine (smth along those lines). at that time i wasn't sure i knew why, so i just kept the info. now, after seeing brightwin and bright only 2gether reaction w jennie i am thinking bout how much they love their characters and also how close they are. i feel like win drew a clear line; he often said "tine, not win" to reinforce THAT was his character.+

on the other hand, when bright was alone he didn't seem to mind about drawing lines. he would say he was sad for wat, then he would explain what wat's feeling. if someone asked "why did u [wat] do smth" he would not draw a line as to say "i'm not him". maybe bc he doesn't care bout how others perceive this, maybe bc this is clear enough for him. nway this got me thinking, what was it that made u say they needed to step back? what details did u observe? /emo sis

hiiii my friend! i’m doing okay, how about you? so first off, where your eyes linger. i really think it’s a good show so far with the limited amount of screentime, the characters are all likable and well-written, the chemistry between the boys is off the charts, and the scenes are all well shot! honestly, it wouldn’t really bother me if it was “just a bromance” because as you said, all i want is some character development and a well written woman character. so far i’ve been liking her and i think this could go in a good direction, i don’t have too many expectations or anything, but i do think this show is very well done so far in terms of production and acting alone. we shall see how it goes, however!

and yeah, i did say that! i think i mentioned that i hoped bright specifically could take a break from being sarawat, although i definitely do think win could also benefit from trying out other roles generally. i think the big difference is in the fact that you already pointed out--win tends to separate himself and tine a bit more than bright separates himself from sarawat, leading to win being a bit more detached from tine when he’s not actively playing him, which can lessen the emotional toll it takes on someone once they need to bid farewell to their role. the thing about win and bright is that their characters are very similar to them, and these roles are their first breakthrough roles. i don’t think anyone could have predicted 2gether’s fame and success, no matter the polarised opinions on the finale.

so, it makes sense that they get attached to their characters, and i think win is a bit more clear about the separation of himself and tine, which is why he always refers to tine as “he” and not “i” as bright does sometimes and as many other actors do. however, the reason i said that is because of the fact that win and bright are just so... similar to their characters. it can be good, because it’s easier to access and portray certain emotions, but especially in bright’s case, it can take a huge toll on the person. bright, for example, always gets into sarawat’s character really quickly, and you remember that one breakup scene where he almost cried at the thought of sarawat and tine breaking up? yeah. it affects you deeply and it becomes hard to separate yourself from the character, especially when they’ve changed your life in such a pivotal way. he’s also mentioned in jennie’s reaction video to the finale that sarawat taught him how to love a man, essentially, and that both sarawat and tine led him to the realisation that he couldn’t necessarily call himself straight. he also truly knows sarawat down to the bone, thinking about aspects of his character as well as his emotions pertaining to specific tine-centric scenes. these are all signs of an outstanding and empathetic actor, but when a character you play gets so much international recognition and has changed your life in exceedingly personal ways, the lines start blurring. win has realised this in some way or another, i think, and i believe he’s also taking a step away from tine. i just would like for them to spend some time away from their characters, because they just are so similar and it’s too easy to lose yourself in that, take it from personal experience. this is not to say that sarawat and tine have been bad for them in any way, or that they should never play them again. i think the boys could benefit from a good break before settling back into their roles if necessary.

those are just some of my baseline thoughts on that, generally! i hope this could provide some kind of insight into why i think that. i hope you’re doing well! <3

#i'm sorry if this is a bit all over the place fsnfh i can't seem to be able to focus #rahul answers #emo sis anon #always so nice to hear from you!!! love sharing more of my Analytical Thoughts w you and getting to read your opinions! <3

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