#and then you go and call yourself alphy's assistant
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POV your new painter and his assistant have finally arrived
#ffxiv#final fantasy xiv#alphinaud leveilleur#ffxiv wol#warrior of light#shadowbringers spoilers#i think it's hilarious eulmore just lets you walk right in with a weapon either on ur back or hip#and then you go and call yourself alphy's assistant#i guess they just assume you're his bodyguard or smth
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Uh random prompt: of your favorite brothers, what’s your interpretation on how they would react to someone they care about (Romantic or platonic writers choice) getting turned into an amalgam?
ohhh, this is hard! I have too many favourites!
UT Sans:
when he first finds you he's horrified.
he was suspocious at first when Alphys kept putting off your arrival home. Eventually he decided to go looking. Finding you and the rest of the amalgrams horrified him. He despretly tries to figure out a way to fix you and the other amalgrams
He spends months locking himself away in his own lab trying to help you. He pushes everyone away, even you, as he works himself to death for a cure.
It's only when Papyrus drags him upstairs and lectures him for pushing him and yourself away.
Once Sans gets it through his head that this isn't the route to go, he takes breaks and spends more time with you. Helping you get used to your new body.
he and Alphys decide to keep you and the other amalgrams in her lab, as it has the best equipment, and if something goes wrong they have access to some of the most advanced tech in all of the Underground immediantly.
While he and Alphys trie to figure out a cure, you remain in Alphys lab, though you are allowed to leave whenever you want
He treats you as he normally would. Making the same dumb puns and pranks that would make you laugh.
Sometimes he treats you more delicatly then he needs to.
UT Papyrus:
Like Sans, he grows worried about your sudden disapreance from the Underground. He frequently calls you and messages you, asking you how you are, where you are and if your okay.
Soon after he tracks you down in the hidden lab. Unlike Sans, who sorta just sneaks in without Alphys knowing until he's already seen everything.
Papyrus just bursts in, greeting Alphys like an old friend while looking for you. He's friendly, but serious in his mission to look for you. This is where you were last seen after all.
When he finds you, his soul is crushed. The pain your in, the fear you must feel. It hurts him so bad.
He envolps you in a tight hug, not letting go. Even when he hears and sees the other Amalgrams and Alphys.
He immediantly tells Undyne everything, who then tells Asgore everything.
Asgore informs the other amalgrams families and orders Alphys to immediantly start looking for a cure. All other projects put on hold, or handed off to other scientists.
He takes you back to his home. Papyrus is optimistic that you'll eventually get better.
He drags you out for patrols and puzzles and for training. Anything that can get you out of your head, and push the memorys of recent happenings away. Even if its only for a little while.
Regardless of whether a cure is found or not, I believe that Papyrus would still take care of you. He wouldn't mind, he loves you after all.
UF Sans (red):
Initially he dismisses your lack of communiction with him.
You'd gotten into an arguement and you'd stormed off. Just needed a few days to cool down, that's all.
Though when you don't turn back up after a few days, no calls, no messages. He gets worried.
Red teleports into your home. He tears the place a part looking for you. When he doesn't find you and instead finds an e-mail from Alphys offering a job as a lab assistent.
Reds not stupid, he knows Alphys and her fucked up games. He immediantly teleports to the lab, ripping the place a part looking for you. Red ignores Alphys furious screeches and questions.
When he finds you he lashes out. Throwing as many attacks at Alphys as he can, he doesn't give up until Undyne and Edge have arrived.
He drags you back to your home. Trying to patch you up as best as he can, holding your melting body with bandages and monster candy.
Like UT Sans, he throws himself into his work, trying to find a way to cure you. This time though, he doesn't work with Alphys.
He feels terrible. Red feels as though he could have prevented this whole thing from happening if he just wasn't so lazy. Red works to combat his lazyness, in order to prevent something like this from ever happening again.
He keeps you in his home. Hiding you from the rest of the Underground.
If people knew what you were, well, too many people would get the wrong idea. So he keeps you in his home.
He tries to keep you as happy as possible for the meanwhile.
UF Papyrus (Edge):
Edge immediantly notices something is amiss when you don't respond to one of his many Undernet messages.
He embarks on a patrol for you as soon as possible, finding all the clues to your whereabouts, one after the other.
Edge is one of the quickest skeletons to find you after you've turned into a amalgram. Only a few hours afterwords.
Unlike Red he does not attack Alphys and instead pins her to the wall. Demanding an explanation. Once she explains that she was ordered to find a way to make Monsters stronger, he releases her.
He takes you back to his home immdiantly. He places you in the shed. It sounds harsh, but if Alphys is to be believed then people could be looking for you.
Like UT Papyrus, he tries to keep your spirits up with training and puzzles.
Even if that training is just you two figuring out how to cook lasgana and not burn down the kitchen.
#undertale headcanons#sans x reader#papyrus x reader#undertale#underfell#my writing#voidimagines#void askes
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GLITZ AND GLAMOR [CHAPTER 11]
The Cooking Show
Before you left Alphys's lab, she gave you a new phone.
Because the one Toriel gave you was "too ancient".
And now you were on the underground's 1# social network.
The Undernet.
After you left her lab, you were constantly getting notified whenever Alphys posted something.
Everytime she posted, it was about how she's supposed to be guiding you.
Maybe she forgot she put you on.
After completing some minor puzzles and fighting a few monsters, you wound up in a dark room.
Then Alphys called you.
"H-Hey...it's pretty dark in there, isn't it? D-Don't worry! I'll hack into the system a-and turn on the lights!"
The lights turned on a few seconds later and you appeared to be in a kitchen.
"Oh no." Alphys said.
Soon, Mettaton wheeled into veiw wearing a chef hat on top of his..."head".
"OHHHHH YES! WELCOME, BEAUTIES, TO THE UNDERGROUND'S PREMIERE COOKING SHOW!!!"
A sparkley pink text appeared on the screen above the makeshift kitchen, reading: "Cooking with a killer robot".
"PRE-HEAT YOUR OVENS, BECAUSE WE'VE GOT A VERY SPECIAL RECIPE FOR YOU TODAY! WE'RE GOING TO BE MAKING..."
"A CAKE!"
"How...special." You mumbled quietly to yourself.
Mettaton seemed to have heard what you said and wheeled closer to you.
"MY LOVELY ASSISTANT HERE WILL GATHER THE INGREDIENTS. GIVE HER A BIG ROUND OF APPLAUSE!"
Mettaton clapped as more confetti rained down on you.
"WE'LL NEED SUGAR, MILK, AND EGGS. GO FOR IT, SWEETHEART."
You gave Mettaton a side eye as you moved to the fridge.
You were about to open it until Mettaton said something.
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? THE INGREDIENTS AREN'T IN THERE, THEY WOULD GET COLD!"
You decided it would be best to not argue with a robot, especially if that robot was like Mettaton.
You turned your head and saw all the ingredients waiting for you on the counter.
You picked them all up and set them on the counter Mettaton was standing in front of.
"PERFECT! GREAT JOB, BEAUTIFUL! WE'VE GOT ALL THE INGREDIENTS WE NEED TO BAKE THE CAKE!"
"MILK...SUGAR...EGGS...OH MY! WAIT A MAGNIFICENT MOMENT! HOW COULD I FORGET!!! WE'RE MISSING THE MOST IMPORTANT INGREDIENT!"
Mettaton then whipped out a chainsaw.
You stared at him horrified, but you were too scared to even move.
"A HUMAN SOUL!!!!"
Mettaton then wheeled towards you and raised the saw above his head.
You cowered up into a little ball on the floor.
But a phone call, from your phone, interrupted Mettaton before he could strike you.
He pulled the phone out of your pocket and answered it.
Why?
No one knows.
"HELLO...? I'M KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE OF SOMETHING HERE."
You couldn't hear who was on the other end of the receiver, but you assumed it was Alphys.
"A SUBSTITUTION? YOU MEAN, USE A DIFFERNT, NON-HUMAN, INGREDIENT?"
Mettaton gave you a quick "glance" before turning away again.
"...WHY?"
As the other person (who was probably Alphys) was talking on the phone, Mettaton was playing with the little cord on the chainsaw that starts it up.
But he stopped, suddenly.
"...VEGAN."
He stood still for a few seconds before then suddenly tossed the phone back to you.
"THAT'S A BRILLIANT IDEA DOCTOR ALPHYS!! ACTUALLY, I HAPPEN TO HAVE AN OPTION RIGHT HERE!!! MTT-BRAND ALWAYS-CONVENIENT HUMAN-SOUL-FLAVOR-SUBSTITUTE!"
Mettaton gestured to a can with a red heart on it nearby.
"A CAN OF WHICH...IS JUST OVER ON THE COUNTER!"
He then put the chainsaw away under the counter and turned to you.
"WELL, DARLING? WHY DON'T YOU GO GET IT?"
You side eyed Mettaton again as you walked over to the counter.
But before you grabbed it, the counter shot up into the air and raised at remarkable speed.
"BY THE WAY." Mettaton said directly behind you, which caused you to jump and snap towards him.
"OUR SHOW RUNS ON A STRICT SCHEDULE. IF YOU CAN'T GET THE CAN IN THE NEXT ONE MINUTE... WE'LL JUST HAVE TO GO BACK TO THE ORIGINAL PLAN!!!"
"SO...BETTER START CLIMBING, BEAUTIFUL!" Mettaton said before rolling back over to the ingredients.
"Oh no!!!" Alphys said, who was still on the phone for some reason. "There's not enough time to climb up! F-F-Fortunately, I might have a plan!"
"When I was upgrading your phone, I added a few...features. See that large button that says: JETPACK? Watch this!"
You pressed the jetpack button on your phone and your phone then turned into a jetpack using all sorts of weird mechanical bits.
"Woah, transformer style!" You said as you put the jetpack on.
"There!" Alphys said, her voice coming out of a speaker from the jetpack. "You should have just enough fuel to reach the top! Now, get up there!!!"
The jetpack started to fly and you starting flying to the top.
However, Mettaton was flying as well, and carried the ingredients with him.
As you flew up, Mettaton threw the ingredients at you, trying to slow you down.
However, he failed, and you reached the top within the time limit regardless.
"MY, MY..." Mettaton said as you reached the top. "IT SEEMS YOU'VE BESTED ME. BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU HAD THE HELP OF THE BRILLIANT DOCTOR ALPHYS!"
Mettaton put his hand on his forehead dramatically. "OH, I LOATHE TO THINK ABOUT WHAT WOULD HAVE HAPPENED TO YOU WITHOUT HER!!!"
"WELL, TOODLES!"
Mettaton flew away again as the cameras cut and you were lowered to the ground by the jetpack.
After you landed, you pressed the jetpack button again and it detransformed back into a cell phone.
"What about the substitution?" You asked.
Mettaton flew in again. "HAVEN'T YOU SEEN A COOKING SHOW BEFORE? THE CAKE IS ALREADY MADE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT!"
Then he flew away, again.
"We...we did it!" Alphys said. "Wow! We really did it!"
"That was actually pretty cool how the phone turned into a jetpack, Alphys. That's insanely cool!"
You heard Alphys let out a nerdy giggle. "Aww thank you."
"Let's keep heading forward, okay?" She said before she hung up.
[Hope you enjoyed. Stay tuned for more and have a good day]
<-Chapter 10
Chapter 12->
#undertale#undertale fanfiction#undertale mettaton#mettaton#mettaton x reader#x reader#self insert#female reader
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Fairytale Complex - [Undertale | Sans x Reader]
[Gender Neutral, Frisk's Parent Reader | Slow Burn]
Chapter Twenty Two | Another Medium (Part 2 of 4)
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"Hurry, ren. We're gonna be late!"
You smile down at Frisk and watch as they tug at the edge of your shirt to try pulling you along with them.
The door's left open, and even though those meant to pick you up for the event aren't here yet, they still urge you to go outside and wait.
"It's only seven, honey." Your thoughts drift back to your video call and Sans's most recent text message, letting you know half an hour later that he'd be here soon. "We've got a few minutes left." You grab their hand and put a stop to their energy, facing their eyes. "Are you that excited about starting school?"
They nod and grin wide. "Even more, if you're gonna be working there, too!"
Your smile falls as you remember the folder Sans had given you. It had been thrown into the farthest corner of your bookshelf that same day, and you'd been too reluctant to look at it any more ever since. You didn't want to take their kindness and help for granted, just as much as you didn't want to forget about your reasons for learning more about monsters. Your godmother was right in terms of you needing to understand them more, so you've established it upon yourself to bring that up during your first, official date night with the skeleton. Understanding the changes being made to the Underground could aid you with the slim chance of finding a way to either halt or delay it from becoming a big tourist attraction, and you could finally be more clear and upfront about your feelings related to the dream -- even if all of that was easier said than done. Not only had you crossed far too many boundaries with him already, but you were still keeping your dubious relationship with him, all while continuing to be wary of him and everyone else for their past. The subtle but no less irate light to his gaze when having your aunt bring up the the Judgement Hall had been more than sufficient for you to try something -- or at least, assist him and every other monster with that process.
In short, hypocrisy's absorbing you bit by bit, and today's your very first attempt at trying to break free from that. Whether you succeed or not doesn't matter. Giving it a shot, on the contrary, does. Even the slightest amount of closure achieved with your research could help in setting your thoughts straight, and -- perhaps -- to finally stop yourself from comparing monsterkind with Jerry.
To put it this way: you couldn't allow yourself one thing if you were allowing the other to continue happening.
After all, why were you willing to engage in a relationship with someone like Sans, when you were still far from forgiving and much less forgetting Jerry over abandoning Frisk for so many years?
Why were you willing to befriend someone like Alphys, who'd been close to ending up in jail due to the failed experiments made on those of her own kind?
Why were you willing to book a night at Mettaton's hotel, knowing he'd once set Frisk into danger greater than any other monster you knew had -- Undyne being a close second?
Even someone like Papyrus brought harm to them once!
"Ren," Frisk calls out, tugging your hand. "You look angry. Are... Are you okay?"
You nod and let out a breath, composing yourself. "I'm fine, honey."
"Are you still thinking about avenging me?"
Your eyes shoot wide open at that, and you can't avoid suspecting they might have the capability of reading your mind.
Regardless of their word choice, you were -- in a sense -- wanting to avenge them from anyone who'd once caused them harm, be it Jerry, the monsters, or the loud and nosy neighbour from next door wondering why Frisk enjoyed playing with action figures just as much as they did playing with princesses.
"Ren!"
Hearing their whine of concern, you snap out of it and look down to see they've let go of your hand, both their arms now outstretched and in wait for your embrace.
"Do you want a hug?"
Your smile returns at that, albeit a bit more melancholic compared to the first time. You get down to their height and pull them in for a hug, sighing when you have them safe in your hold; it feels right to have them close and in your care, no matter how much your mind insists otherwise. The question you brought up back at the Judgement Hall still feels like the most subconscious part of your mind had possessed you, insisting you turn back to how you used to be after Frisk's fall.
"You don't need to protect me that much!" they say, letting go. "I... I know all the monsters well, so I'd tell you if any one of them's bugging me. You don't need to hate them for my sake, and you don't have to compare them to dad, either." Without a doubt, if humans still had the capability of using magic and spells, you would label them a mind reader. "You should get to know them on your own first, and not just based on who they are to me. Because if that's really all up to me, then the only one I don't really like much is..."
At that, they stop; they bring a finger to their chin and tap it twice, delving deep in their thoughts along the way.
"Huh..." Frisk taps their chin again and their gaze turns furrowed, scrunching up the more they think about it. "I mean, I don't really know if I dislike any of them... I just know I wanna have friends!"
You're compelled -- if not, urged -- to argue against that, though your heart stops you from spilling any of those thoughts out. Still, your mind attempts to push through it. Personal feelings couldn't cloud your judgement, if that meant it could bring harm to your child.
"Even if they-"
Hearing the engine rumbling as Papyrus parks close by the sidewalk is a blessing in and of itself; the aforementioned date night with his brother can't get here any sooner. You need to sort your thoughts out once and for all. Almost half a year of waltzing with the seemingly never-ending issue of Frisk's journey and the bonds they made through it was far too much. If you were slowly making friends with those same people too, then you needed to stop this at once. No matter how much you wanted to avoid said confrontation, that had to be done -- for both CPS and reasons beyond.
"You're right." You huff, bring a hand to your forehead, and go lower to massage the brim of your nose. Not a moment after, you fix your glasses, look back to their side, and form a smile. "Thank you, dear."
• • •
You close your eyes just before the monster presses a damp cotton ball to your wound.
Isopropyl makes it sting immediately, yet you're too busy with your thoughts to care about it that much.
"You okay?" Sans asks, meeting your eyes when you open them. "You've been quiet since we got 'ere."
"I'm okay, but..." You think back to how you greeted him with a wave, right as you did with his brother. While the monster before you didn't seem to mind it, you can't avoid the thought of how you used to be with Jerry. It was easier to be more affectionate back then, and it was easier still greeting him with a kiss -- be it a simple one on the cheek or a quick one on the lips. Now, you can't so much as imagine the prospect of doing that with your new partner without overthinking or feeling stressed about it. "I was wondering if we... if we should maybe keep our relationship private -- f- for now?"
He finishes wrapping the bandages and fixes them tight before replying with, "That's fine with me. Did you watch the video?"
"No, I'm..." You grow short of breath at the thought of how many people have likely seen it by now -- how many times it's been shared, and how many more discussions and heated arguments have revolved around it. "I'm too scared to."
You can't bring yourself to look at him any longer, so his expression falls unknown as he suggests watching it together, a question you answer to with a quiet and mumbled 'sure'.
Sans proceeds with a nod and stores all the items used back into the first aid kit before taking out his phone, settling down in bed, and holding your hand with his free one. "Really sure?" he asks, squeezing it once. You reply with an even quieter 'yes' and watch in silence as he clicks on the link sent by what you assume is several people, based on how Undyne, Brenda, and even the man from the train station -- now his friend and your co-worker -- have messaged him the same information, all three left unread. The one he chooses is farther back and dated with yesterday, this one sent by Jerry.
It plays in an instant and the first thing to appear is Asgore's garden, while murmurs are what compose the audio as the one filming shows himself around a field of trampled flowers, these now a mess of broken pots, thrashed earth, and missing rocks. A few others make him company and engage in small talk, though it ends quickly when one of them shouts for everyone to 'get over here quick'. The group does as told, leading for the cameraman to rush along with them out of the garden and into the Judgement Hall. The audio grows quiet as he ventures further, steps and voices now discreet as he films a fuzzy image of two people sitting at one of the benches laid around, with the exception that one sits on top and has their arms wrapped firm and tight around the other. Multiple people urge the cameraman to approach the scene more, making him show you and Sans kissing, albeit of a blurry quality with how much he has to zoom in so as to not be caught. Even the noise is recorded with how silent everything else is, this one mostly composed of hitched breaths and clothing shuffling against each other as you hug him closer. Thankfully, no kissing noises are recorded, something you assume is due to him having a shapeable skull rather than lips, along with how slow and careful your actions are.
The video ends when the kiss does, and it leaves you in the same silence created right before clicking on it.
Regardless, Sans opens up the page it was posted on to reveal more information about the creator.
'Am I the only one who sees something wrong with this stuff? This is the future that awaits us, if we continue to act as if we can live peacefully with these people. Opposing these changes is necessary, if we wish to keep our normalcy. Casual make outs with a being so far from human shouldn't be the norm of our world', reads the caption.
Below, some of the replies read from ones saying the poster isn't the only one who shares those thoughts, to ones who've taken the time to write an entire paragraph about the situation.
'🤢🤮'
'Absolutely not.'
'No, you're not. This is outright hideous.'
'Click here to see my 👄 HOT 🔥 noods 🍝: www.uhohspaghettios.xd'
'Wow, this is just like 1984.'
'Next thing you know, we'll be the ones living in the Underground.'
'I need eye bleach ASAP!!! 😱'
'Yeah, no. Hard pass on whatever the hell I just watched. Why did you even film this?'
'That skeleman is nothing but a closeted cradle-robber. Anyone who's met (Y/N) knows how naïve and childish they are, and them dating someone like that screams bad news. Forget that he's a monster, people! What's more important here's how he's got a liking for them despite that gap -- both mentally AND physically. He should be ashamed for bringing their reputation even further down with this video. At this point, I have trouble believing they'll ever recover from all this.'
'...Ok, but...... Am I the only one who finds this kinda.................. Hot? 👀💦'
'Of course, even a monster would try to have his way with someone like them. Look at how they're dressed!'
'To be fair, you have to have a very high IQ to understand how wrong this stuff is. The degeneracy infesting the Surface nowadays is extremely subtle, and without a solid knowledge of social sciences, most of the immorality will go over a typical person's head. There's also the skeleton's nihilistic outlook, which is deftly woven into his characterisation -- his personal philosophy draws heavily from George Orwell literature, for instance. People like us understand this stuff; we have the intellectual capacity to truly appreciate the depths of these social rejects, to realise that they're not just ridiculous -- they say something deep about LIFE and SOCIETY. As a consequence, people who see nothing wrong with this truly ARE idiots -- of course they wouldn't appreciate, for instance, the humour in the skeleton's existential catchphrase "Genocide is wrong", which itself is a cryptic reference to Er*n Yeag*r from Att*ck on Tit*n. I'm smirking right now, just imagining one of those addlepated simpletons scratching their heads in confusion as our fight against this backwards evolution unfolds itself on their phone screens. What fools... How I pity anyone who disagrees with you and tries to defend this behaviour. 😂'
At the bottom of it all, a neglected comment reads:
'Not only are you and your companions trespassing in an unsafe location, but your recording shows clear evidence you were damaging former King Asgore Dreemurr's property. You have also chosen to film these people without their knowledge despite them being in a private area, and uploaded the footage to a massive social media platform, as well. This is punishable by law, and I will not hesitate to stand for these people, if they decide to file a lawsuit against you.'
What stands out the most goes beyond the commenter's name, as his profile picture is what captures your attention first, regardless of how well-dressed he appears in the image and how small it is without clicking on it. Sans seems to share the same thought as you, as he clicks on the man's account without thinking twice. It takes some time to load, but when it does, your mouth gapes and you find yourself at a complete loss for words.
'Gerardo "Jerry" Gonzalez Gutierrez del Valle. Family practice lawyer since 20XX. Co-founder of the first Alcohol and Smoking Helpline for monsters. Former quarterback for Ebott U's Football League,' his bio reads.
You're overcome by what feels like an hour of silence before you can process what you've read. The age-old experience of reviewing material from your textbook at three thirty in the morning arrives when you try to read through his profile a second time, then a third. Even his pictures are difficult to process, these a variety of him posing with his co-workers at the newly-opened helpline building, screenshots of his progress with quitting alcohol and his strike of days and months sober, images of him in different suits, and -- last but not least -- a couple of Throwback Thursdays from his glory days, featuring both high school and college memories. It's hard to decide which feeling out of multiple is stronger than the rest, as jealousy combines with the slightest thing you expect out of this discovery: being reminded of the good ol' days. Guilt arrives next when growing aware of your current relationship with the one sitting next to you, even if it's only the thought of how happy you used to be with the man in those pictures before everything went haywire.
"You're... You're seeing this too, right?"
You hear him chuckle and see him agree with a nod, though you can't exactly fall back down to Earth again; were this a dream, you would accept it as such.
"Yeah." The monster looks you over once before adding, "And am I imagining it, or did I catch you smilin' at 'im just now?" He winks.
"So you're telling me you're really not surprised by this, at all?"
"...Touché."
You stand up and give your back to him, irked by his assumption despite him being nothing close to serious about it. "But, please don't think I still like him." Your hands turn into fists at the thought of going back with someone like him, no matter his current intentions. "I still haven't forgiven him, and I still..." Bile rises to your throat as your stomach churns wildly. "I still hate him." Then, you take a pause to gather strength. "And maybe that's a strong word, b- but... It's hard for me to forget that's the same man who once accused me for every little thing that wasn't 'normal' with Frisk, from them running away the first time, to them refusing to call him dad -- even when I never prevented them from visiting him, and e- even when he stopped visiting them first." Your chest shakes as you huff. "I... I still dislike him, and I really hate that I remembered good things about him just now."
Your mouth refuses to shut up and makes you continue on with, "So if I still can't forgive him, how can I make a decision for CPS with so many of you and in so short of a time? I still can't decide what to do, no... no matter how much I've learnt about everyone else." Your throat turns dry, and you find it difficult to swallow. "Hell, it was only yesterday I finally gave into one of my doubts. I thought it twice before asking if you wanted to kiss, but it'd been in my mind for a long while before that."
"You're sayin' the kiss was you decidin' to trust me?"
"Yes."
He scoots closer to your side and furrows his gaze.
"Even after that dream, and even though I started it?"
"Y... Yes." You do the same as him and smile. "I trust you, and... And I know the dream's likely just me overthinking this. One thing's spilling the truth when you're drunk, and one thing's getting... too caught up in your fears -- to the point where you have these warped dreams about someone else, no matter how much they mean to you."
His irises soften in their light, and a hint of culpability seems to fall on him. "Then I'm sorry for bringin' your ex into this." You sit back down with him and hold his hand again. "It wasn't right."
"It's okay."
"Doesn't look that way."
Before you know it, you're held by your lower back, pulled close, and brought down in bed.
He stays on top, gaze focused on yours rather than on your lips or anywhere else suggesting something more.
"Have you found that help yet? Counseling, I mean." His gaze remains the same despite having changed topics so abruptly. "How're ya doin', puddin'?"
"Bubbles and Brenda suggested two recently, but I... I still haven't gotten around to calling either one of them."
"Want me to make you company while you try that now? We've got time."
"...Kiss me first, please?"
He lowers more and presses his teeth to your neck.
"Gladly."
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#sans x reader#undertale x reader#lgbt#lgbt themes#gender neutral reader#male reader#female reader#mother reader#father reader#parent reader#chubby reader#long fic#romcom#adventure#mystery#platonic relationships#slow burn
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Gorgeously Glamorous Gargalesis (Chapter 10)
Feet! Mettaton has feet! :D And no, I’m not talking about his pink boots! I’m talking about what’s inside his boots! A gray pair of metallic human-like feet! :D Ten toes and everything! And as a bonus, they have pink hearts on their arches! X3 Cute, right? Well, don’t you think it’s about time they get what’s coming to them? That being, an extremely thorough tickling. I know I do! Along with two pairs of extremely ticklish lizard monster feet! That’s right. The only way Mettaton will let Asriel, MK, and Rex tickle him and his feet is if Rocco and Lydia get the same exact treatment alongside him. Well, no complaints there! Lol XD So I guess the only thing left to say is, give the Mettaton, Rocco, and Lydia’s tootsies hell, boys! And maybe their upper bodies too, just for good measure! ;)
Undertale© Toby Fox.
******************************************
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
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GORGEOUSLY GLAMOROUS GARGALESIS
Chapter 10: The Grand Finale
A few minutes later… outside the closet...
Mettaton: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *laughed Mettaton once more before stopping entirely* Ohohohoh my gohohod! Finally! Hahahahahahaha! Thahahahank you! Hahahahahahaha! Oh, thahahank you sohohoho much! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha! Eeeeeeeeeee! Hahahahahahahahahahahaha… Hahahahahahahahahaha… Hahahahahahaha… Hahaha… Haha… Haha… Ha… Ha… Ha...
Mettaton has just stopped laughing, which can only mean one thing. Rex is no longer tickling his feet! And with Rex no longer tickling his feet, Mettaton himself can now show the boys how to operate his contraptions while the lizard parents roll the extra one in and retract the wheels when it's placed where Mettaton wants it so it doesn't roll anywhere on them. But before any of that can happen, Mettaton would like to first reattach his legs.
Rocco: Here you go, Mettaton. *said Rocco with a chuckle, placing Mettaton's legs by his torso without his boots* Consider this a peace offering.
Mettaton: Oh, Lizard Dad, thank you so much! *effeminate laugh* Hello, beauties! *said Mettaton while reattaching his legs* Did you miss… wait, my… my boots! MY BOOTS! *he then freaked out once he noticed his boots were missing*
Lydia: Heeheeheeheeheehee! Yes? What about them, young man? *asked Lydia cheekily*
Mettaton: They're… They're gone! W-w-where are they?! Where are they?! What did you do with them?! *asked Mettaton worriedly, wondering where his boots are and why the lizard parents didn't give them back along with his entire lower body*
Rocco: Hahahahahaha! We hid them. Oh, but don't you worry, Johnny 5. Hahahaha! They're in a safe place. *claimed Rocco with a mischievous smile* (In the crawlspace in the closet. Hahahahaha!)
Mettaton: What… what the… Why the hell would you hide my boots?!
Lydia: Heeheeheehee! Why, to be sure that you fulfill your end of our deal, of course!
Rocco: Hahahaha! That's right. When we made our deal, you told us that the boys could tickle your feet. Those boots… are not your feet. Get the picture?
Mettaton: Uh… *robot cough* Well… Um… Hmm… Well...
Lydia: Yes, do you get the picture, young man? We don’t care if those boots are your equivalent of socks; they were never your real feet to begin with and they never will be either. *Lydia pointed out, announcing to everyone that Mettaton’s feet, ankles, and calves can feel tickles even when they’re protected by his boots*
Mettaton: Um……… (Damn you, you adorable lizard parents! You found another loophole in our agreement! It’s my job to find loopholes in agreements and/or contracts; not yours!)
Rocco and Lydia: ………
Mettaton: ………*sigh* Fine, yes. Yes, I get the picture. …God damn it! Why did Alphys have to design those scanners to work with any lizard tail?! *asked Mettaton in disbelief, prompting Rocco, Lydia, MK, and Asriel to look at him with confused expressions on their faces*
Asriel: Um… wow… ok, you're gonna have to explain that one to us, Mettaton.
Mettaton: (Oh crap! Not again!) *thought Mettaton to himself while bringing himself to his feet, disappointedly due to failing to keep yet another secret from Asriel and the lizards* Woooaaaah! *he then shouted, losing his balance briefly but regaining it just before he could fall (he lost his balance because he's used to the heels on his boots)* Scanners in the backs of my knees. I can remove my boots by sticking my index fingers in these holes for a few seconds. Or… *sigh* Alphys can remove them… instantly by inserting the tip of her tail in the holes.
In response to Mettaton's claim, everyone with the exception of Rex took a closer look at the backs of Mettaton's knees and what they saw left them all in shock.
Lydia: *gasp* Oh my goodness! They look just like Rex's tail scanner on his toy box!
MK: Holy moly! Holy moly, I knew those things looked familiar! Gosh darn it, Mettaton! Frisk, Chara, Blooky, and I could've tickled your feet last Wednesday?! And all I had to do to get your boots off was poke the backs of your knees with my tail?!
Mettaton: Yep. *answered Mettaton awkwardly, embarrassed that MK mentioned something about him being tickle tortured last Wednesday at Toriel's house; despite already telling the lizard parents about that incident himself*
MK: Oh man! Why did I have to tickle your knees with my fingers instead of my tail?! I considered using my tail! Why didn't I use my tail?!
Asriel: Because you needed something strong to hold his legs together. You said it yourself, MK. If you had let go of Mettaton's legs, he surely would've escaped!
MK: Heh. Oh yeah, good point.
Asriel: You're very talented with your tail, MK. *Asriel complimented* Why you couldn't hold umbrellas with it at one point is beyond me. Speaking of which, why couldn't you hold any of those Waterfall umbrellas with your tail, MK? You've got a strong tail, and umbrellas aren't that heavy. Why did you have so much trouble trying to hold one of those umbrellas?
MK: Um……...
Asriel struck a nerve there with MK. There's a good reason why the young lizard boy had problems holding umbrellas around the time he met Frisk but he doesn't want to tell Asriel what that reason is until the following Saturday when he demonstrates his magic to him and his sisters. So, to help MK keep his secret, Rocco and Lydia chimed in; and told Asriel that the umbrellas were simply too awkward to hold with a tail alone. That and they pointed out how much time the boys have until Frisk, Chara, GK, Izzy, and Patty call to video chat with the two of them. Two hours from now, the five girls all have something they'd like to show the two monster boys and Chara let them know in advance via text messages. The boys found it unusual of Chara to text them so early in advance. "Why not just show us right now?" the boys wondered after reading Chara's message. Well, whatever it is the girls want to show them, they're certain that it will be worth the wait. And while they're waiting, they can tickle Rocco, Lydia, and Mettaton! For a very, very long time! :D
Asriel and MK: *gasp* Oh yeah, that's right.
Lydia: Mm-hmm. And one of the things you can do while you're waiting is tickle the three of us. *said Lydia cheekily, wagging her tail and wiggling her six toes against the floor*
Rocco: *gasp* Oooooh. Yeah, it's getting to be around that time, isn't it? Hahahaha! Well then let's get started! Mettaton, show the boys how to operate those thingamabobbers of yours while this armless cutie and I roll the third one out here, will you? *instructed Rocco, making Lydia blush and Mettaton look at him with a "Don't tell me what to do!" look on his face XD*
Despite looking a bit annoyed, Mettaton did as he was told and while teaching the boys, he was pleased to see them quickly catch on to his instructions. The boys know a thing or two about engineering and robotics thanks to Gaster and Alphys; mostly by watching the two scientists themselves work but also by assisting them when given the opportunity to do so. And Sans too! But mostly Gaster and Alphys; Asriel learning more from the former and MK learning more from the latter. Meanwhile, Rocco and Lydia rolled out the third contraption; one with colors that represent the two of them! It had a chair that was two shades of yellow; the left half Rocco's skin color and the right half Lydia's skin color; and a set of stocks that were their favorite colors; the left half navy blue (Rocco's favorite color) and the right half burgundy (Lydia's favorite color). "Heh. Interesting color choices, Mettaton." the two lizard parents wondered to themselves while rolling it out into the open. But there's a reason why he made them those colors and a damn good reason too! He built his third tickling contraption as a present for Rocco and Lydia! :D Mettaton's no dummy! He knows that Rocco and Lydia enjoy tickling each other as much as they enjoy tickling their kids. X3
A few minutes later… after the third contraption was all set up…
Rocco: Ok, we're all set here! Haha!
Mettaton: *effeminate laugh* Beautiful, darling! Only question now is: who’s going to sit where?
Three tickling contraptions; the Mettaton EX-colored one on the left, the Rectangle Mettaton-colored one in the middle, and the Lizard parents-colored one on the right; who's going to sit where? Well, after thinking about it for at least 30 seconds, the three adults ultimately settled on lining up in order oldest to youngest; 41-year-old Rocco in the left pink chair with his large scaly 3-toed feet locked in black, light gray, and white stocks, 36-year-old Lydia in the middle gray chair with her scaly 3-toed feet locked in white, red, black, and yellow stocks, and 26-year-old Mettaton in the right yellow chair with his metal 5-toed feet locked in navy blue and burgundy stocks.
Lydia: Heeheeheehee! Well alrighty then! Heeheeheeheehee! Lock us in, boys. Ooh, but first… here you go, Rex! *said Lydia, handing her burgundy feather to Rex with her tail* Use this, my little hero… in addition to your fingers, toes, and tail. Heeheeheeheehee!
Rex: Ooooooooooooo… *cooed Rex happily, smiling big while grabbing his mother's feather with his tail*
Mettaton: Ooh, that reminds me. Here, darlings. These are for you. *said Mettaton to Asriel and MK, handing the former a black feather and the latter a pink feather after retrieving them from a compartment in his left thigh* Use them well. *he cooed, positioning himself in the yellow chair*
Rocco: Hahaha! And these too, boys! *Rocco chimed in, surprising everyone in the room when he handed Asriel a green toothbrush, MK a yellow toothbrush, and Rex a red toothbrush; due to how effective toothbrushes are on his big sensitive feet, even if the ones he just handed the boys were non-electric ones*
After locking the three adults in the contraptions, the boys took a few seconds of their time to decide who should tickle who first. Three boys, three adults; one boy for each adult locked in the stocks. Just like when they tickled Rocco’s feet earlier today, the three boys will tickle the adults on a rotating basis. Two full rotations to be exact; plus two set periods of time (one in between the two rotations and one after the second rotation) where they’ll let the contraptions tickle the adults on their own. But to start, Asriel will tickle Rocco (oldest child, oldest adult), MK will tickle Lydia (middle child, middle adult), and Rex will tickle Mettaton (youngest child, youngest adult) and during the first phase, they are planning to focus entirely on their feet without any assistance from the contraptions. With Rocco, Lydia, and Mettaton’s feet trapped in stocks, it’s hard to pass up an opportunity to tickle their feet with their fingers, toes, tails, and feathers and toothbrushes as well. Especially with their soles all taut and each of their individual toes tied to the stocks to render their feet nearly immobile during the next 40-60 minutes! :D
Moments later…
Asriel: Hahaha! Ok, dude, we ready to start?
MK: Not quite! We gotta get a chair for Rex first! *MK pointed out, noticing that Rex is too short to reach the Mettaton’s feet from the floor*
Asriel: Oh, right! Say, that red one over there should do nicely, don’t you think? *asked Asriel, pointing at a red chair that can be lifted by two strong pre-teen boys if they work together*
MK: Really? That one? Kinda heavy, don’t you think?
Asriel: Pfft. Not if we carry it together! Come on, you want Rex to be safe and comfortable at the same time, don’t you?
MK: Well, yeah, of course I do! He’s my baby brother!
Asriel: Then help me move that chair over here, please!
With that said, the boys moved the somewhat heavy red chair over to the contraption all the way on the right and when they slid it up tight against the stocks, it was a perfect fit! Mettaton’s heels were just above the edge of the seat cushion and Rex had enough room to maneuver with armrests serving as guard rails.
Rex: *coos* Gagabooboodidaba! Heeheeheeheehee!
MK: Heeheeheeheehee! You’re very welcome, Rex! *said MK, even if he couldn’t understand what Rex was saying*
After Rex was all situated, he, Asriel, and MK began tickling the three adults’ feet and they continued doing so for the next 15 minutes on a rotating basis in three 5-minute intervals; the only breaks being the moments when Asriel and MK moved the red chair from one contraption to another for Rex. During the first five-minute interval, Asriel tickled Rocco’s feet, MK tickled Lydia’s feet, and Rex tickled Mettaton’s feet.
Mettaton: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! *shrieked Mettaton the moment he felt the tip of a long tail and tiny claws scribble against his metal soles* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHA! NOHOHOHOHOHHO, REHEHEHEX, NOHOHOHOHOHO! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHA! NOHOHOHOHHOHOHOHOHOHOT AGAIN! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!
Rocco and Lydia: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP/EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *SQUEAK* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *laughed the lizard parents hysterically the moment they felt the older boys’ tails and fingers tickle their soles*
Then during the second five-minute interval, Asriel tickled Mettaton’s feet, MK tickled Rocco’s feet, and Rex tickled Lydia’s feet.
Lydia: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!! *shrieked Lydia the moment she felt a feather twiddle in between her toes* GYAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHHAHAAHAHA!! OHOHOHOH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, STAHAHAHAHARTING OUT WITH MOHOHOHOHOMMY’S FEHEHEHEATHER, ARE WE?! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA! BOHOHOHOHOLD CHOICE, REX! *SQUEAK* HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!
Rocco and Mettaton: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!! *laughed Rocco and Mettaton frantically, clawed toes wiggling up and down the former soles and furry toes wiggling up and down the latter’s soles*
Then during the third and final five-minute interval of the first rotation, Asriel tickled Lydia’s feet, MK tickled Mettaton’s feet, and Rex tickled Rocco’s feet.
Rocco: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!! HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! OHOHOHOHOHO NOHOHOHOHOHO, NOHOHOHOHOT THAHAHAHAHAHAT!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! UUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! *Rocco “sang” in a hilarious way, Rex scrubbing the balls of his big feet and in between his toes with a red toothbrush* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Lydia and Mettaton: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! *Lydia and Mettaton laughed maniacally, Asriel and MK doing the same to their feet with their green (Asriel) and yellow (MK) toothbrushes*
After tickling the adults’ feet with their fingers, toes, and tails as well as feathers and toothbrushes, Asriel and MK moved the red chair away from Rocco’s stocks and prepared the contraptions’ tickle modes. In a few seconds, the boys will let the contraptions tickle the adults on their own but how they will tickle them is up to the boys. There are two options. 1. They can do what Mettaton did; deploy one or a few feather rollers at a time and then spin the fuzzy wires around their toes; or 2. They can just deploy and activate everything all at once. …They chose the latter. They took a vote and it was unanimous. XD
Rocco, Lydia, and Mettaton: EEEEEEEEEEP/EEEEEEEEEEK/EEEEEEEEEEEK!!! HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHHAHAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAHA!!!
At the press of a button on each of the contraptions' control panels, the boys deployed every single feather roller they could and more. Poor Rocco, Lydia, and Mettaton! 12 feather rollers rolling up and down their taut soles (4 for each adult), 22 mini feather rollers rolling up and down the pads of each of their toes (6 for each lizard parent, 10 for Mettaton), 16 mini feather rollers rolling against every individual space in between their toes (4 for each lizard parent, 8 for Mettaton), and 22 fuzzy wires spinning rapidly around the bases and stems of each of their toes (6 for each lizard parent, 10 for Mettaton); the moment every single one of those things began tickling their soles and toes, they screamed with hearty laughter that echoed throughout the entire basement and involuntarily begged for mercy after just two seconds of outlandish tickle torture. Well, Rocco and Lydia did. Mettaton on the other hand commented on the boys' decision to activate everything all at once, criticizing and praising them at the same time.
Lydia: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! OHOHOHOH MY GOOHOOHOOHOODNESS!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! MEHEHEHERCY, BOHOHOHOYS!!! HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAAHA!!! MEHEHEHEHERCY!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAAHAHAHA!!!
Rocco: HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SHUT IT OFF, BOHOHOHOYS!!! HAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SHUHUHUHUHUHUT IT OFF!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII EEEEEEEEEEEEEEE IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Mettaton: HAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OHOHOHOHOH MY GOHOHOHOD, HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, YOU BOHOHOHOYS ACTIVATED, EHEHEHEHEHEHEVERYTHING AHAHAHHALL AT ONCE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! SHAHAHHAHAME ON YOU!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! ALSO, WEHEHEHELL DOHOHOHONE!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
For five minutes, the boys let the contraptions tickle the adults' feet on their own and while this was happening, the boys just kicked back and watched them work; Asriel sitting on the couch with his bare feet up on a footrest and Rex sitting on his lap and MK sitting next to them with his bare feet up as well. It was quite the joy seeing Rocco, Lydia, and Mettaton's priceless reactions to the tickle torture and hearing their hearty laughter. And there will surely be more of it once some upper body tickling is thrown into the mix. But before deploying the hands out of the chairs, the boys would like to do some upper body tickling themselves; with their fingers, toes, tails, feathers, and toothbrushes on a rotating basis once again while the feather rollers and fuzzy wires continue tickling their feet. The only problem with that plan is that Rocco and Mettaton can still move their arms whenever they please. Or so they thought. After playing around with the contraptions' control panels for a few seconds, they found out that they can use the contraptions' arms to hold Rocco and Mettaton's arms above their heads, giving them easy access to their armpits and sides, and also grab arms if someone were to deploy/grow a second pair. XD None for Lydia since she doesn't have a physical pair of arms and has difficulty summoning her magic ones while she's being tickled. Especially on her feet!
Mettaton: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! OHOHOHOH NOHOHOHO!!! HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! YOU FOHOHOHOUND OUT, HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, ABOUT, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA, THE AHAHAHAHARMS' SECOND FUHUHUHUNCTION!!! *shouted Mettaton through his laughter, both him and Rocco struggling to move their arms* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Rocco and Lydia: HAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA HAAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!
Now that Rocco and Mettaton can't move their arms, the boys can begin the upper body tickling phase. For fifteen minutes, in three five-minute intervals, the boys will tickle the adults' upper bodies (armpits, sides, necks, ribs, bellies, and hips) on a rotating basis and while rotating, one of the older boys will have to move Rex over from one adults' lap to another since the chairs are too tall for him to climb on or off of without any assistance. Due to Rex's small size, he will need to sit or stand in the chair with at least one of his victims at all times. But as for the two older boys themselves, they can either stand next to their victims as they tickle them or sit on their victims' legs or laps in the chairs. They'll have to do the latter if they plan on tickling them with all of their toes at once. But for the most part, they can just stand beside them.
Rocco, Lydia, and Mettaton: EEEEEEEEEEEEP/EEEEEEEEEEEEK/EEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! HAHAHAAHAAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA HAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!
During the first five-minute interval, Asriel tickled Rocco, lifting his shirt when necessary to effectively tickle him with his fluffy tail, MK tickled Lydia, and Rex tickled Mettaton.
Rocco: YAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!! *yelled Rocco the moment he felt fluffy tail fur brush against his belly after Asriel lifted his shirt up a little* HAHAHAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! FUHUHUHUHUR!!! HAHHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHA!!! NOHOHOT THE FUHUHUHUR, NOHOHOHOT THE FUHUHUHUR!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA EEEEEEEEEEEEEUUUUUUUUUUUUUU!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Lydia and Mettaton: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!!
Then during the second-minute interval, Asriel tickled Mettaton, MK tickled Rocco, and Rex tickled Lydia and at one point during this interval, Asriel leaned over Mettaton in a crab walk position to effectively brush tail against his core. XD He had no choice due to how short it is compared to the lizards’ tails.
Rocco and Lydia: EEEEEEEEEEP/EEEEEEEEEEK!!! *the lizard parents squealed and shrieked the moment they felt the tips of their sons' tails swirling inside their bellybuttons; MK's tail swirling inside Rocco's bellybutton underneath his Henley shirt and Rex's tail swirling inside Lydia's bellybutton on the outside of her silk dress* HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA!!! NOHOHO, BOYS, NOHOHOHOT THEHEHERE!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEP/EEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!!
Mettaton: BWAAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHA!!! SIRE, NOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!! *pleaded Mettaton the moment he felt Asriel's fluffy tail brush against his heart-shaped core, his most ticklish spot* HAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA!!! NOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO!!! HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHA!!! SOHOHOHOHOHO FLUHUHUHUFFY!!! HAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! WHY DOHOHO YOU HAHAHAHAVE TO BE SOHOHOHOHO FLHUHUHUHUHUFFY?!?! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Then last but not least, during the third five-minute interval, Asriel tickled Lydia (with everything but his tail since he had no access to any bare spots on her torso), MK tickled Mettaton, and Rex tickled Rocco.
Lydia: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK! *shrieked Lydia the moment she felt Asriel's furry toes wiggling against her neck* HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! AZZY, YOU FIEEHEEHEEHEEHEEND!!! *she then shouted without any actual spite, shaking her head as much as she could* HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA!!! OHOHOHOH MY GOOHOOHOODNESS, THAHAHAHAHAT TICKLES SOHOHOHO MUCH!!! *she claimed, making Asriel giggle in response* HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! *SQUEAK* HEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEEHEE!!!
Rocco and Mettaton: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAHAHAHA!!! SOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO DOHOHOHOHOES THIS!!! *claimed Rocco and Mettaton at the same time through their hearty laughter, Rex and MK wiggling their clawed toes up and down their bellies* HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
Rocco: HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA UUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!
Mettaton: EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! HAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAA!!! MK, DAHAHAHHARLING, STOHOHOHOP!!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! STOHOHOHOHOP!!! HAHAHAAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! YOHOHOHOUR TOHOHOHOES ARE GOHOHOHOHING TO MAKE ME BLOHOHOHOW A FUHUHUHUSE!!! *claimed Mettaton while continuing to laugh, making MK proud to know that his toes are super effective against the glamorous robot himself* EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEK!!! HAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHA!!!
After the third and final rotation, Asriel and MK, after removing Rex from Rocco's lap, stopped tickling the adults and moved over to the contraptions' control panels. Tickling the adults' upper bodies with their fingers, toes, tails, feathers, and toothbrushes while the contraptions tickle their feet with feather rollers and fuzzy wires was fun and after fulfilling that objective, they deployed all of the other hands out of the chairs and made them, along with the ones that were already out, tickle the adults' upper bodies for the rest of the session while they sit back on the couch and watch; both boys sitting next to each other with their feet up on a footrest and Rex sitting either next to them or on one of their laps. For the rest of the session, each of the three adults had 8 hands tickling their upper bodies; 2 hands kneading their sides and hips, 2 hands wiggling their fingers in the hollows of their armpits (or in Lydia's case, where her armpits would be if she had arms like Rocco), 2 hands kneading their ribs, and 2 hands scribbling their fingers against their bellies. Plus feather rollers tickling their soles, the pads of their toes, and the spaces in between their toes AND fuzzy wires spinning around the bases and stems of their toes! They were in hell! At least 15 minutes of pure unholy ticklish hell as what was essentially the most maniacal laughter heard today poured from their mouths and echoed throughout the entire basement and first floor of the house! And they enjoyed every second of it! Even Mettaton, the least ticklish of the three adults! Speaking of Mettaton, he is planning to visit Muffet again this upcoming Friday; to tickle her a second time with help from Blooky, who will be at Muffet's house by the time he shows up there. And next time, he'll be sure to tickle her with his contraptions and mini Mettatons; even if he has to do so before or after participating in an epic tickle battle with Muffet and Blooky against a certain powerful individual. But what are the chances of something like that happening? XD
Rocco, Lydia, and Mettaton: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!!
After the tickle session was over, Asriel and MK turned off the contraptions and asked the adults if they were ok; and fortunately, they were. Then during the remainder of their waiting period, Mettaton told everyone a story about the first time he ever tickled Alphys. It was a cute story from start to finish and it explained why he enjoys tickling feet more than every other part of the body. Then shortly after Mettaton finished telling his story, Asriel and MK hugged him goodbye and went upstairs to MK's room to video chat with their sisters as well as Izzy and Patty. Just as the boys predicted, Frisk and Chara were right on schedule to not only chat with them but also to show them something very special. Their hands with painted fingernails and their feet in brand new pairs of flip flops with painted toenails! :D Frisk and Chara did it! They finally caved and let Izzy and Patty paint their nails! Being the tomboyish girls that they are, they've never once had their nails painted and have never had any desire to have them painted. Same goes for flip flops. All their lives, they've never had any desire to wear flip flops. But after basically being worn down by Izzy and Patty, two girls that almost always have their nails painted and regularly wear flip flops during 3 of the 4 seasons, however, they changed their minds and what the boys saw was a beautiful sight; Frisk in blue flip flops with magenta nail polish and Chara in brown flip flops with red nail polish. Both boys couldn't stop blushing to save their own lives! And that was just the beginning! After Frisk and Chara finished showing off their hands and feet, Izzy and Patty showed off their new fresh coats of nail polish on their fingers and toes as well. They even put on their flip flops; just for Asriel and MK. The two boys probably would've enjoyed seeing their feet more without any footwear whatsoever but it was still a nice gesture nonetheless. XD And as usual, Izzy had blue nail polish and pink flip flops and Patty had cyan nail polish and white flip flops. But that wasn't all! After Izzy and Patty finished showing off their nails to the boys, GK, stepped in and propped her feet up to show off her claws! Yes, even GK had her claws painted; dark gray to match her dark gray pants as well as the dark gray sections on her checker-patterned shirt. Yes, GK is wearing dark gray pants and a checker-patterned shirt today. She doesn't always wear dark gray leggings and a checker-patterned mini dress. Overall, what the girls did for the boys was pretty dang cute. And to top it all off, all five of them texted the boys pictures of their hands and feet shortly after they finished video chatting with them. Sure, it was mostly pics of their painted nails/claws but they included some pics of their soles as well just for good measure, which made MK especially happy. X3 Then after looking at the girls' pictures, the two boys spent the rest of the night playing in a blanket fort they made. Rex even joined them for a little while but left when he started to get heavy eyes. He had a big day! He, Asriel, and MK all did! And playing in a blanket fort together was quite possibly the most enjoyable way to end such a wonderful night of hijinks. Everything was perfect… except for one thing. No plate of s'mores to snack on. Not to worry though, they can always go downstairs and make some, which is exactly what MK did after playing with Asriel and Rex in their blanket fort for about 20 minutes.
Later that night… when MK went down to make s'mores…
Rocco: Oh hey, champ. Did you come down to make some s'mores? *asked Rocco curiously with a smile, just seconds after he and Lydia set some graham crackers, chocolate, and marshmallows on the kitchen counter*
MK: Oh! Hehe. Well, look at you, Dad! If I had known you were going to make s'mores for us, I would've stayed upstairs!
Rocco: Haha! Now just what makes you think I'm making these for you? *joked Rocco*
MK: W-well, because, you know…
Rocco: Hahahaha! I'd be happy to, champ! And while you're here, you can help me roast the marshmallows.
MK: Hehe. Sure, Dad. *said MK, agreeing to help his father but was rendered confused when he stood still and did absolutely nothing*
Rocco: ……...
MK: ...Uh, Dad?
Rocco: Hmm? What is it, MK?
MK: Y-you're supposed to create green fire in the palm of one of your hands.
Rocco: Hmm… yes, I suppose I could do that. Or, we could roast them with your fire magic… *said Rocco after noticing that Asriel didn't follow MK downstairs*
MK: What? Really? W-w-w-what if Az comes down downstairs? *MK stammered, worried that Asriel might see his fire magic in action* You know I don't want him to see this until Saturday!
Lydia: Heeheeheehee. Not to worry, honey puff. I'll be your lookout. *said Lydia with a blissful smile, seconds before keeping an eye on the staircase*
MK: *gasp* Oh my gosh! Thank you, Mom! Thank you
Lydia: Heeheeheehee! Any time, my dear.
After Lydia moved into position, MK did his thing. But instead of just lighting fire in the palm of one of his robotic hands, he also did something that his father and Alphys are incapable of. That being, LIGHTING HIS ENTIRE TAIL ON FIRE!!! Every inch from its base all the way to its tip! :O And as for its color, it was orange.
Rocco: Hahahahaha! Yeah! That's my boy! Tail fire is best fire! *said Rocco, proud of MK and a little jealous since he can't light his own tail on fire*
MK: Hahahaha! You got that right, Dad! Hahahaha! (Hehehe. Can't wait to show this to you, Frisk, and Chara this Saturday, Az… along with a few… other surprises. Hehehehe.)
THE END.
#undertale tickle#undertale tickling#tickle story#mettaton#mettaton ex#lizard dad#lizard mom#feet tickling#upperbody tickling
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A Sansationally Bad Liar
“Sans...Sans. You can’t hide from Papyrus in here forever.”
Stepping away from the complicated looking engine he was putting together on his worktable, Gaster had made his way over to where Sans was sitting, watching the video feeds Alphys had set up so that Gaster could open or close the cave using FUN values without having to physically open the door to check if someone was outside. Sans had claimed the position of lookout, saying it was already a job he was good at, not that they really needed much of a lookout anyway.
Waving his hand distractedly at Gaster, Sans shushed him. “Listen! Listen. They’re talking. I got an audio feed from that tunnel.”
Frowning. Gaster leaned in to peer at the pair of Monsters making their way down the Waterfall tunnel, an umbrella held by one was enough to shield both from the rain. “And you’re telling me that not only did it take you all this time to actually realize I was flirting, but then you waited even longer to talk to me because you got freaked out and tried to find a casual way to bring it up for an entire year?” asked one of the pair, a Rabbit type monster with thick blue fur and a pair of red overalls over a yellow shirt.
The other monster, a cat like one that Gaster felt sure he’d seen before, looked embarrassed, or possibly in pain, and nodded weakly. “Y-yeah. It was Papyrus who said you were flirting though. And I wasn’t sure if you were actually serious, because who would ever actually want to flirt with me? I’m not actually worth-”
“Seamus,” Interrupted the rabbit. “You’re an idiot. An adorable, incredibly fuzzy, and absolutely hopeless idiot. Now are you going to kiss me or not?”
Looking deeply flustered, Seamus began to say something, but Sans didn’t catch it because Gaster leaned over and flipped the machine off, both audio and video image died.
“Hey,” Sans protested.
“Is this really what you’re going to do with your time, Sans? Spy on the private moments of Monsters like you’re watching some MTT drama or whatever else it is they watch out there? Are there not enough good movies or television programs to fill your time?” Gaster frowned down at the skeleton.
Sans smiled disarmingly and shook his head. “What are you talking about, Doc? I’m just doing my job. I can’t help it if folks are talking about all the deep and mushy stuff where the camera’s can-”
“What job? Sentry? Lookout? We don’t need one. There’s nothing to guard against. Nothing to watch out for. Or did you mean Royal Judge? Are you telling me you need to spy on everyone and know every secret of their lives in order to do a job you’ve been called to do officially maybe three times?”
Looking less like a grin and more like a grimace, San’s smile had dimmed a little bit and he couldn’t quite meet Gaster’s eyes. “Five times. Asgore had me show up after he killed the third fallen human, the guilt was getting to him and he wanted judgement and punishment.”
Oh, that wasn’t quite what he’d expected to hear. Poor Asgore, poor child. It wasn’t the first time Gaster wished he hadn’t nearly destroyed himself. If only he could have been there, maybe he could have helped Asgore to find another way? Or maybe he wouldn’t. Things didn’t always work out the way you intended.
Gaster shook his head clear of these worrisome thoughts. “The point is, you’re here because spying on people and pretending to have a job because you don’t want to think about the consequences of your true job. And any time you’re not occupying yourself with some trivial pursuit is when you start thinking about it again.”
“You’ve been talking to Papyrus,” Sans accused him, looking irritated but still not quite meeting Gaster’s eyes. Oh drat him, stubbornness would be the end of him.
Turning away, Gaster strode back to his worktable and picked up the bit he had been working on, a section of unflawed crystal he was using to make a sort of holding shell for the engine. “Of course I have,” he said. “He thinks you should go to therapy, and I think he’s right. You need it.” Saying this, Gaster glanced behind him and caught Sans cradling his right arm. “What are you doing?”
“Nothing. I don’t need help, and I don’t need therapy. Can’t a guy just get a break somewhere?”
“Not here,” Gaster retorted. “Go home and talk to your brother. You’re worrying him. Please, Sans.” There was a silence, and Gaster looked away, glancing over to the other part of the cave where Alphys’s two younger assistants were going through a pile of reference books on Monster Biology and occasionally pausing to scribble down notes on another piece of paper. When he looked back, Sans had vanished. Sighing, Gaster went back to his work.
#sans the skeleton#the great papyrus#gaster#w.d. gaster#doctor gaster#wing ding gaster#waterfall undertale#undertale#undertale au#aeontale#alphys#asgore dreemurr#burgerpants#nice cream guy
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FIC: The Royal We ch.2 (baon)
Summary: Family helps family. Sometimes right into the path of an oncoming car.
Tags: Spicyhoney, Kustard, Established Relationships, Angst, Hurt/Comfort
Part of the ‘by any other name’ series.
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Read it here!
Note: Just remember as you're reading this that all endings are eventually happy ones in 'By Any Other Name'!
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One of the first things Red set up for the newly created security department in New New Home was a phone tree for calling out in case of an emergency. The first contact called their contacts, those contacts called theirs, and so on. Slightly archaic, perhaps, but Red had his reasons, bluntly explained, “if you actually talk to ‘em, you know they got the message and it don’t get jumbled up in a buncha chat replies. no one ever has ta call more’n three people, so it don’t take long and we got a better idea of whose gonna show up.”
In this case, it worked perfectly. It hardly took more than a couple of minutes for Edge to call his contacts and within ten, Monsters were already showing up at the house.
Edge spread out a map of New New Home on the hood of his car, using a felt-tipped pen to mark off grids. Next to it was a picture of Jude taken from their own refrigerator, proudly holding up the lumpy volcano he made one weekend in one of Stretch’s impromptu science classes. So young, only six years old, still an infant when they came to the surface; he would have no memories of living underground, nothing but his entire life on the surface to look forward to.
He glanced back at the porch where Stretch was sitting with Janice, talking to her in a low, soothing murmur, her other son sitting at their feet. She’d tried to rush off again to search, but in her panicked state, Edge was more concerned that she’d end up hurting herself than finding her son. He didn’t know what Stretch told her that convinced her to stay, but then, Stretch was always good at finding the right thing to say. If she couldn’t be coaxed to sit inside, then the porch was a reasonable alternative.
The Dog family was unsurprisingly the first to arrive, their oversized SUV pulling up next to the curb. Their protective nature towards children extended far beyond their own and every member of their family was present, even the youngest pup tucked sleeping into a carrier strapped to Dogamy’s back.
Without a word, Edge held up a small jacket, one of Jude’s, brought to them by his older brother, Oscar. If he weren’t already heavily invested in finding this child, Oscar’s expression would have cemented it, his fears hidden beneath brave determination to help protect his little brother in any way he could. It stirred old memories, ones that Edge rudely shoved away as the Dogs passed the jacket around, each of them sniffing intently.
“Dogamy, you and Dogaressa start in grid one,” Edge ordered, tapping the square on the map with a gloved fingertip. “That’s the last place he was seen, see if you can pick up a scent. Greater Dog and Doggo, grid two. If you find anything, call my cell phone before you come back, all right?”
“Got it,” Dogamy growled out. His wife nodded and the two of them loped off, their kin at their heels even as more cars began arriving, other Monsters walking up to get their own search grid.
Not long after, Undyne pulled up and came to a screeching stop at the curb, struggling to get from behind the wheel of her jeep. For most of her pregnancy, she’d hardly showed, but in the past couple weeks, she’d…blossomed, was the word Alphys used, her eyes glowing with adoration behind the lenses of her glasses. Privately, Edge thought ballooned might be more fitting considering the waddle she’d recently gained as she made her way towards him.
“Whatcha got left,” Undyne pushed in next to him to examine the map. With her belly leading the way, she very nearly bounced him into the yard.
Edge recovered and returned, leaning back in. “There’s a few grids left,” Edge said. He pointed out a sector. “We started closest to where he was last seen and spiraled out.”
“Good plan,” Undyne murmured.
“If you’re thinking of taking a grid for yourself, I’d like to invite you to think again.” Edge let his gaze drop meaningfully to her swollen belly. Her t-shirt could no longer contain it and from beneath the hem an expanse of taut, deep blue skin was peeking out, paler stretch marks striping along the sides, battle scars, according to her and Edge did not doubt it.
She graced him with a shameless, needle-sharp grin and gave her exposed belly a scratch, “Like you could stop me? Nah, Al already gave me a fin-full, I’m here for support purposes only.” She leaned in again, bracing a clawed hand on the hood as she studied the marked off grids with a nod, “Looks like you’ve got it mostly covered, anyway. Kid couldn’t have gotten too far, Dogs’ll sniff him out.”
Edge glanced up at the porch again where Janice was sitting, holding a coffee mug in clenched hands. Next to her on the table was a pile of crumpled tissues, the box close by. His competent assistant was nowhere in sight, lost in her worries for her son. Edge pitched his voice low as he said, “Let’s hope so.”
At that moment, there came a burst of sound from behind them reminiscent of the false flatulence from San’s whoopy cushion. To Edge, it was annoyingly familiar, the sound of his brother’s teleportation caused by the displaced air. Stretch’s sounded more like the sharp pop from a bubble of chewing gum, and Edge did not assume that the shortcutters in their family had control of the sound it made past the fact that it made sound at all, but he couldn’t help noting sourly that it suited their personalities nonetheless.
Undyne was less accustomed to having short skeletons popping in and out around her, and she jumped, her unsteady balance almost sending her sprawling on the car hood as she swore, “Fuck me, Red, give a little warning!”
Red snorted loudly, “ya look like someone beat me to it.”
He ignored her renewed curses, crawling up on the bumper to get a view of the map, sneakers squeaking against the fiberglass while Edge grit his teeth. He still hadn’t forgiven Red for his earlier cruelty, but this wasn’t the time. “Where is Sans?”
Red shrugged, his eye lights intent on the map, “checking a few things.”
Casually said and Edge left it at that. As this world’s Judge, Sans might have some insight into possible scenarios, he always knew more than he should. Like his brother. Like Stretch.
Edge knew little about Judging, by design. He hadn’t even known his brother was one until he became Captain of the Guard and it was Asgore who advised him of what it might entail, a discussion best forgotten. Stretch never brought it up, even on the very rare occasions when he spoke of Chara. It was easy to forget the unpleasant role he was forced to play in his own world.
“this area here is clear,” Red tapped a finger on grid seven, the one near the school. Edge didn’t question him, only crossed out the square and a low, distant howl made them all look up to see Dogaressa loping towards them, her long pink tongue lolling out as she ran.
“Report,” Edge said crisply even as she panted, catching her breath.
*Scent was strong, leaving his yard, went two streets, south,* she pointed at the map and Edge circled where she indicated. *then gone.*
“Gone? How could it be gone?” Edge demanded.
Dogaressa shook her head sadly, *Bike, car, vehicle of some sort, maybe. Not enough trace to follow. We’ll keep scouting, see if we can’t pick up the trail again.*
“Thank you,” Edge said, heavily. He chose not to look at Janice; seeing the crumbling hope on her face wouldn’t help find her son any faster.
Dogaressa nodded and loped off again.
Red hopped down from the bumper. “gonna head off, too, bro, got some cameras i can check, see if we can get a bead on him.” He reached up and pointed with a sharp-tipped finger. “get someone out to grid eight.”
“That’s very far for him to have traveled.”
“not with a bike or somethin’ and there’s a kinda treehouse out there that the kiddos use.” Red lowered his voice, “if it was a car, we got other problems than a simple lost kid.”
“I know,” Edge murmured. He spared a glance at Undyne who was listening silently with her hands folded over her belly. Her expression was a thundercloud; none of them wanted to voice their suspicions aloud. Much as he wished otherwise, Monsters were not exempt from criminals in their ranks, even where children were concerned. That was one of the few areas that Edge left in the control of others. He couldn’t trust himself to face anyone who would deliberately hurt a child, his soul burned even to consider it, a coal set inside his ribcage as he struggled to rid himself of the very thought. Janice needed his cool competence, not undefined rage at someone who might very well not exist.
Next to him, Undyne visibly struggled with her own anger, cradling her belly in both hands. “Go see if you can figure out what happened to the kid, Red,” she said low, “we’re depending on you, boss.”
Red grimaced, teeth gnashing, “don’t go giving me titles now, i’m more the take-ya-to-my-leader type.” He stepped back, vanishing into the void.
There was nothing to do but continue the search until Red reported back. Edge returned to the map, considering who to send to the next grid when a tug at his elbow made him jerk, very nearly lashing out. He stifled the reaction back, forcibly tamping down the agitated LV in his soul; his frustrations and anger were not serving him well here, blast it all.
At his side, Oscar looked up at Edge without the slightest clue to his inner turmoil. He was entirely too invested in his own, twisting his hands together with bright tears glimmering his eyes. Edge crouched down, close to his height, and asked with as much gentleness as he could muster, “Oscar? What is it?”
The child mumbled something too low to be heard.
Edge glanced at Undyne and handed over the pen in a silent ask for her to take over. She nodded, already grabbing her phone, as Edge said, coaxingly, “It’s all right, Oscar, whatever it is, you can tell me.”
“It’s my fault,” Oscar said, low. The tears standing out in his eyes finally shed, dripping down to wet the short fur on his face. “It’s all my fault.”
Edge exhaled slowly. “How is it your fault?”
“I yelled at him,” Oscar burst out, his voice breaking on a sob, “We were tryin’ to set up a fort and he kept knocking things over, ‘n getting in the way. I yelled at him to go away and now—”
Of course. Children were alike no matter where they were from, it seemed, so often taking on a disproportional amount of blame that no one expected them to carry. Edge slid a careful arm around his quivering shoulders and gave him a gentle little shake, “Oscar, I need you to listen to me. Are you listening?”
He nodded, sopping at his wet face with his sleeve.
“It’s not your fault.”
“It is--!”
“No,” Edge said firmly. “Sometimes brothers fight, sometimes they say things they don’t mean.”
That caught Oscar’s attention. He frowned, reluctantly intrigued, or perhaps hopeful to think an adult like Edge still squabbled with his brother. “You and your brother fight?”
“Constantly,” Edge said dryly, “and as recently as today. But that doesn’t mean I don’t love him or that I wish any hurt on him. It doesn’t mean I don’t care. You didn’t mean for Jude to wander off, it is not your fault. All right? Now, go sit with your mother. She loves you both very much and she needs you right now.”
He nodded, a little less miserably and headed back to the porch where Stretch and Janice were still sitting. Janice enfolded her son into her arms the moment he was in reach and the two of them clung to each other. Stretch leaned in to say something and Janice nodded. He stood and headed towards Edge, quick strides that were nothing like his usual lazy saunter.
“babe,” Stretch said, low, “i'm gonna head off and help look.”
Edge resisted the initial, ridiculous urge to deny him. Stretch was an adult, older than him as Stretch so often liked to point out, and Edge could hardly forbid him the right to join the search groups. They were in New New Home, not out in Ebott amongst the Humans, he couldn’t play at the protector by keeping his husband under lock and key. “All right,” Edge agreed, softly. “What grid do you want?”
“none,” Stretch said. He reached over and waved a hand loosely over the map. “babe, this is the right direction for everyone else, but i'm not about to stick myself to one spot when i can be halfway across town in two steps. you,” he pointed at Edge, “stay put, rally the troops or whatever, you do not need to be tromping around on that leg.”
“I hadn't planned on it.” He did not say he’d already mentally calculated the damages vs what assistance he could provide. The possible benefits did not outweigh the costs, it was not worth losing searchers if they were forced to assist him. Before Stretch could vanish, Edge blurted out, “I love you.”
It earned him a lopsided smile in return, “love you, too.” And with a single step Stretch was gone, shortcutting away nearly silently while Edge turned back to the map and Undyne, readying the next wave of searchers.
Hours went by, various groups checking in as they finished searching their grid. As soon as their section was cleared, a person was assigned in it to stay while the others moved on.
A text came from his brother, terse information that Jude climbed on a scooter where the Dogs lost his scent, and he’d been traveling north when he disappeared from camera view. The relief that he hadn’t gotten into a car was brief and the search was redirected, grids marked off. Jeff and Antwan reported nothing, as did the Bun family, who paused only briefly to comfort their kin before heading back out in search of hers. Doggo returned, tail between his legs, to report that the scent hadn’t been found again.
The day was dragging on, the weather cooling as the sun dipped lower, but they weren’t giving up, not with a child out there lost in it.
Undyne went inside to use the bathroom twice, muttering about her abused bladder and pausing to talk with Janice and Oscar each time. On her last trip, she brought out the blanket that was usually draped over the back of the sofa, bundling the two of them in its warm folds. Her earnestly encouraging expression fell when she began walking back to Edge, replaced with more grimness with every minute that ticked past.
“There was nothing in grid twenty-five,” Papyrus said. His normal exuberance was dulled, his earlier confidence that Jude would quickly be found wavering into disbelief.
Undyne gave him a punch on the arm that nearly sent him to the ground, “Don’t you even give a hint that you’re giving up, nerd,” Undyne hissed. She jerked her head towards the house. “And sure as fuck not in front of moms back there.”
“Of course not!” Papyrus lifted his chin and straightened his shoulders, “Now I need a new grid to search!”
It was starting to get dark, the sun cresting the horizon and sending the neighborhood into dim twilight. Edge went into the garage and flipped on the outside lights, illuminating his car and the map on it.
“Edge,” Undyne leaned in, her voice pitched low, “Look, I know none of us want to think it, but we might need to look into contacting the Human Authorities.”
“Noted,” Edge said tersely.
“Humans have gotten in here before, and if one did and snatched the kid, the longer we wait, the—”
She broke off, grimacing, her shoulders hunching as her hand hovered over her belly.
Edge could only stand with his own hands hovering uncertainly even as he said, sharply, "Are you all right?"
A long moment passed, then she managed, "Yeah, I'm fine."
"Don't you bullshit me, if you make me deliver your child, I will never forgive you."
Undyne gave a rough laugh, "Pal, giving you a front row seat to my shrimp salad is nowhere on my menu. Braxton Hicks contractions, been having ‘em for weeks." She took a couple of long, slow breaths, then straightened, “Now, about the Humans.”
“I have no issue with Humans, I have plenty of issues with the Human authorities,” Edge snapped. Behind him, he heard a small, alarmed sound from Janice and lowered his voice, “even if a Human somehow managed to get into New Home without being seen, snatch Jude, again without witnesses, and miraculously leave with him the same way they came in, I’m not convinced the Ebott Police would actually assist us.” Edge paused, his mouth twisting, “That said, Asgore contacted the mayor’s office already, they are aware of the situation.”
Undyne made a rude sound, “Should’ve known you were a step ahead of me.” She glanced at the porch. “I’m gonna sit with mama up there for a few, it’s getting dark, she’s worried out of her mind, and my dogs are barking the moonlight sonata.”
“Go sit,” Edge told her, softly. He watched her waddle up the sidewalk, that encouraging expression already pasted into place, then he looked out into the neighborhood. The streetlights were coming on, bright puddles of light spaced out along the road that left dark patches between them.
Flashlights were on their way, but what were the odds of their search parties finding the child in the dark when they couldn’t find him in the daylight? Edge shook the thought away, despair had no place here, they would keep searching until the child was found. No matter what.
Even as he thought it, he heard the sudden pop of teleportation, bubblegum sweet, and he turned to see Stretch tumbling out into the middle of their front yard with Jude in his arms. Both of them were filthy, their clothing stained and soiled with dried leaves clinging. One was tangled stubbornly into one of Jude’s floppy ears. Jude’s small face was awash with tears and Stretch’s pale and sweaty, as if perhaps he’d teleported them some distance and was at the end of his endurance.
Before Edge could demand answers or even move, Janice was stumbling from the porch, tripping into the grass and crawling towards her son, laughing and crying in the same breath.
Stretch handed him awkwardly over, "he's okay, mama, little cold and tired, maybe."
"Thank you," she sobbed out, clinging to her child. Jude was holding on just as tight and both of them slung an arm around Oscar when he joined them. Janice managed to pull away long enough to ask, laughing around her tears, “Where? Where was he?”
“out in old new home,” Stretch slumped back into the grass, sockets tiredly closed. “there’s some paths out there that the kids like, leftover from when they were putting up those first houses. looks like when they stopped construction, they tossed some boards over a pit and didn’t fill it in. kiddo was lucky enough to find it, huh, champ?”
Jude only clung to his mother, his sobs muffled into her shoulder. Headlights were already coming down the street, groups returning from the search. Chances were Red alerted them the child was found, and as they poured from their cars, all their expressions were ones of purest relief.
“I’ll get a team out first thing in the morning to fill it in,” Edge began, “Stretch, can you show me on the map where—”
Undyne’s voice interrupted him, soaring over the growing crowd. “Now that we found the kid, can, uh, someone take me to the hospital? Think it’s time for me to meet my rugrat in person.”
The brief silence was almost as deafening as the sudden chorus that rose up of Monsters volunteering. In the end Papyrus took her, loudly claiming his right as Best Bud. Edge only stood back, grateful that it wasn’t him, and watched as Undyne nearly punched him for trying to help her into the car. The crowd began to thin, Jeff and Antwan heading off to retrieve Alphys and the Bun family claiming Janice and her children in between profuse thank yous.
Janice paused as she walked past him, Jude in her arms and Oscar at her side. “Thank you,” she said. Her voice was hoarse from crying, brimming with gratitude.
“You’re welcome,” Edge told her with quiet sincerity, and when he awkwardly held his arms out, she immediately leaned into the brief embrace. As she headed towards her brother’s car, Edge called out impulsively, “You can pay me back by handling all the press briefings tomorrow!”
Her sudden laughter was a relief from the previous onslaught of tears, “That’s a deal, boss!”
The other searchers had already headed for home, happy ending achieved, and Edge turned back to their house…and saw that Stretch hadn’t stood up yet. He was still sitting in the damp grass with his skull cradled in his hands.
“Love?” Edge knelt and saw with some alarm that his sockets were tightly closed. He was trembling, his hands rattling against his skull as they shook, and the bones were bleached nearly white, the soft orange glow of magic that usually lit his joints was dim. “Rus? Are you all right?”
“help me inside?” Stretch asked, tightly.
He very nearly scooped Stretch into his arms, injured leg be damned, and right into the car to head in for a room next to Undyne’s in the hospital. Instead, Edge tamped that impulse down and did as Stretch asked. Carefully helped him to his feet and guided him to the door, pausing only to snatch up the blanket from the chair Janice had been sitting in before leading him inside.
tbc
#spicyhoney#papcest#keelywolfe#underfell#underswap#underfell papyrus#underswap papyrus#by any other name
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Chapter 15 took forever ergh
Man, this was a thing. In this thing, Sans cannot do poker face, and Undyne is half bro and half troll. Chapter can be found here.
Frisk wiped the sweat from her forehead and clutched the envelope tighter as she crept over the last "bridge." The monsters in Hotland were supposed to have disarmed all the traps and puzzles for the humans’ visit, but they had replaced them with a bunch of regular wooden planks, not bothering with supports or railings to keep people from falling into the lava.
There! She was across. Puffing a little in the heat, Frisk trotted up the ramp and saw the doctor’s laboratory – helpfully labeled “LAB” – right where they’d said it would be.
But no one had said there would be a crowd blocking it. “…your very eyes!” someone was shouting from a stage in the main area.
It wasn’t very impressive, just a rickety platform with one corner curtained off and a few musicians standing around. The only thing on it was a giant metal rectangle that rocked back and forth on a single wheel, with no human features except for strange, floppy arms ending in white gloves. Yellow and red lights twinkled in elaborate patterns on its front as it raised an arm and twirled in place. “No, you say? It’s not enough?” asked a tinny voice.
Frisk had no idea what it was supposed to be – some kind of loud statue? – and neither did the rest of the audience. The rectangle spun itself impatiently. “Well, then, behold!”
Just like that, the thing froze in place, and there was nervous laughter as it began to look like it was broken—until something darted out from behind the curtain and whacked it in the back. There came a POP and a grinding sound, and the rectangle exploded in a plume of smoke!
But before the audience could work up to a proper state of panic, they heard a silvery laugh. Out of the smoke stepped a dazzling figure; it was shaped like a human, but as the air cleared, the stagelights shone on a monster made entirely of bronze and steel, its features delineated in ivory. Sleek black lacquer served as hair, and it winked an opalescent eye at the gawking crowd. When they didn't get the hint, it raised its hands and tapped them together, then bowed graciously as the applause started in earnest.
This must be the automaton she’d been sent to find! Somehow, Frisk doubted she was supposed to get up on stage to give him the note; if she was, the answer was—
“Yes!” At that cue, the musicians broke into a swift-paced dance tune. Mettaton bowed again, then launched himself into a series of amazing leaps and twirls, hopping around the little stage like an agile, attention-fueled clockwork toy. The audience cheered and clapped along, which seemed to put an extra spring in his step, as Sans would say.
Frisk had crept closer and spotted a set of steps beside the stage. She started up them on all fours, hoping to catch Mettaton after this song. A Royal Guard moved to stop her; Frisk showed her the fancy seal on the note she was carrying under her armpit, and the cat-woman directed her to go up and wait behind the curtain.
The human did so, and immediately bumped into someone. “E-excuse me,” another monster said apologetically. Frisk turned to see a stocky lizard monster with bright yellow scales, wearing glasses and a doctor’s coat; she offered a sheepish smile as the human child backed up. “I’m just here to m-make sure M-M-Mettaton doesn’t s-squeak too much,” the doctor said, holding up an oil can. "I hope he s-stops after this number so I can—"
The audience was applauding again, and the lizard gulped as Mettaton launched right into another routine, the musicians scrambling to keep up. Frisk couldn't help poking her head out from the curtain; she had never seen anything like the automaton, especially not this close.
"I'm so g-g-glad that I finished him on time," the yellow monster said quietly, as if to herself.
"You made him?" the child whispered back in astonishment.
The monster looked a little frightened, as if she'd been caught doing something wrong. "Um...just his b-b-body." She shuffled her feet. "It w-was nothing."
Frisk watched the automaton do a series of backflips ending in perfect splits. "That looks like a lot. It's incredible," she said honestly.
"Really?" The lizard squinted at her to see if she meant it. "W-Well, if you think so..."
Out of nowhere, Frisk felt a cold sensation sliding down her back. The same way one has to sniff at something that looks rotten, the child had to peek out at the audience: sure enough, there was Chara at the back of the crowd, frowning up at the stage.
As Frisk stared, the woman's gaze shifted until her eyes met Frisk's. Chara smiled thinly, and the child's gut knotted. How did—
Another grinding sound pulled Frisk's attention back to the stage. Mettaton’s ankles were starting to smoke as he moved faster and faster; to Frisk's horror, one of the joints locked up, and the automaton's heeled boot skidded across the stage, lurching him off balance. The little human had a panicky mental image of the poor monster lying in a heap, people trying not to laugh too loud, Chara rushing up to help because everyone was watching...
Maybe that was what gave Frisk the courage to drop the envelope and dash onto the stage as Mettaton came careening toward her. She grabbed the nearest pearly-gloved hand and swung him around with all her might, nearly wrenching her shoulder out of its socket.
But it was enough: the automaton slammed his knee and his other hand into the stage and used the momentum to twirl back onto his feet...all in time with the music. The child didn’t have time to catch her breath; Mettaton winked at her with a little clicking sound and then caught her up to dance in place with him, setting her down long enough to let her pose dramatically.
The first time she did it was just freezing up as she faced the audience, but they cheered so loudly that she tried it again the next time she came down, and the next. To her amazement, she wasn’t embarrassed anymore. This was fun!
All too soon, the song ended with a crashing flourish, and she panted happily as Mettaton held her arm up, prompting the now-huge crowd to applaud both of them. The automaton turned to address everyone, but Frisk was glad to stagger back to the side of the stage, where the lizard monster was waiting behind the curtain. “Th-thank you so much,” she said. Despite her scales, she appeared to be sweating, beady eyes fixed on Mettaton. "He's g-going to be s-so upset with me..."
Frisk hated how miserable the doctor looked, as if she expected the automaton to blame her for the mishap because it was her fault. The human tried to think of something to say, and spotted the note in the monster's hand. “Oh, you found it! Thank you!” Frisk cried, as if her life had been saved, and was rewarded with a shy smile as the lizard handed her the envelope. “Here, sir. This is for you,” said Frisk, turning to Mettaton as he came over.
Sure enough, he was scowling. "I was just telling the doctor how amazing you were," the child said as gushily as possible. "But, um, you're so amazing that we're worried about you pushing yourself too hard. Please take more care so you can keep performing for us," Frisk finished.
The automaton blinked, his attention diverted. “Why, thank you, darling,” he said, ruffling her hair fairly gently, “and thank you for your assistance! That was marvelous! Any time you’d like to come back for another performance, my little beauty, you are absolutely welcome.” He gave Alphys a brief glare, then allowed her to creep forward and begin re-oiling his joints as he tore the note open, eyes flicking over the words with inhuman speed. “Ah, duty calls.” The metal monster smiled at Frisk again, working his ankles to spread the oil evenly. “I’m heading to meet His Majesty now. Would you like to come back with me, darling?”
“Thank you, sir, but I promised the Queen I’d stay and meet more people in Hotland,” Frisk lied. She turned to the other monster and gave a half-bow. “My name is, um, Kris. What’s yours?”
“Uh…m-my n-name?” The lizard pushed up her glasses. “I-I’m Dr. Alphys, the r-royal s-s-scientist. It’s n-nice to m-meet you, Kris.”
“I’ll see you later, then, Kris!” Without further ado, Mettaton stepped out of the curtain and leapt off the stage, sailing clear over the astonished humans’ heads and pirouetting once more before he pranced out of sight.
“Um…” Alphys was fidgeting with her claws. “So, d-do you like…stories? Novels or p-p-plays?”
“I don’t know,” said Frisk, rubbing her sore shoulder. “I’ve never read any.”
Alphys’ eyes got wide, and wider. “C-c-c’mon!” she nearly shrieked. “Do I have s-some things to sh-show you!” And she was off, racing down the steps and tearing the doors to her laboratory open as though her tail had caught fire.
Frisk started to follow, but another bad feeling crept up on her, and she had to turn to look at the audience, praying she wouldn’t see—
Chara was still there, still staring at Frisk. But this time, she wasn't smiling. She looked...thoughtful.
Why did that seem so much worse?
~
Sans lay on the floor in his room, flat on his back, his head spinning. For a long moment, he had no idea what'd just happened. He'd woken up and had to get away in a hurry—from Undyne? Because he'd been chewing on Frisk? That was a dream...right?
But if it was a dream, what was he smelling? The boss monster glanced this way and that. All he saw was his pile of long-outgrown socks, his too-small treadmill shoved against the wall, and the wadded-up sheets on the kiddy-sized bed. Sans grunted and turned onto his side, curling up with one arm under his head.
Then he blinked, grabbed a handful of his shirt, and jammed it into his nasal bone, inhaling so deeply that he almost sucked the material up into his skull. Ha! Frisk's scent was all over him! It wasn't a dream after all. Heh, as if he could've imagined her saying those things, making those little noises and tasting like—
Sans tried to leap to his feet, but he made it about a third of the way before he staggered and fell back with a butt-rattling thump. No good; he'd done too much yesterday and gotten too little sleep. That last shortcut had completely drained him.
It was just as well, when Sans gave it any thought whatsoever. He'd gotten out of Frisk's room fast enough that she had a decent chance of convincing Undyne he hadn't been there. It'd be about eight flavors of stupid to go back to her now, no matter how badly he wanted to.
And boy howdy, did he ever want to. The giant skeleton stared at the ceiling, fighting the urge to rub his face in his shirt like a damn cat. His tongue came up and ran slowly across the back of his teeth, remembering the taste of apples—she must've had some before she went to bed. He'd never be able to eat one again without getting twitchy.
In fact, he had a feeling that life was going to be trickier in general from now on. Being around her had been distracting enough before he knew exactly how soft she was, what it smelled like snuggled into her neck...
Shit. No wonder humans were such obsessive morons about this whole thing. Magic was already tingling throughout his bones, especially his pelvis, a helpful reminder that it was there in case he wanted to have his way with anyone; Sans had to bring his fist up and clonk himself square in the forehead to snap out of it.
...And it didn't even work. The harder he tried not to think of Frisk, the more irritated he got, and he also had a headache.
It was a profound relief to feel the house shake as the front door was thrown open. Undyne shouted something, and Pap's door also banged open; Sans had to smile as his brother loudly rejoiced at seeing Frisk. Footsteps pounded down the stairs, and a moment later, Frisk shrieked with laughter—probably because Pap had picked her up and swung her around, just as he had swung Kris around all those years ago.
Sans sighed. The stairs were too small for him, and he wasn't sure he could manage a shortcut to the living room. Maybe it was just as well: he was tired and cranky, and he hadn't calmed down enough to trust himself yet; better give her some time to get reacquainted with Pap first, before they started handing out everyone's gifts.
Oh, crap. She'd asked him to do something last night with the wagons, but he'd been too distracted by the other stuff she'd said, and too intent on proving that he could do stuff, too. He had spent the past couple days thinking it over while he was pulling the stupid wagon, theorizing that he could cram some of his accumulated magic back down and revert to a lesser height for short periods; listening to Frisk whistle, he'd wondered if he could do that, too, and then gone off a long mental tangent about lips.
Maybe those self-adjustments had worked so readily because he'd had so much practice manipulating his other body parts, or maybe he'd just wanted it to happen badly enough. Maintaining his crammed-down form was something he'd have to work on, and he didn't know if he'd be able to do it at all outside the Underground and its ambient magic, but...
He closed his eyes, letting his body relax, ignoring Undyne's stupid loud voice through the floor. He was home, his brother was happy, they had Frisk here...
Some time later – a few minutes, or an hour – he jumped as the door banged shut downstairs. The boss monster wondered irritably if someone else had come in, or if they'd left, or what. Then, picking up at a random point where his mind had left off, he wondered whether his body felt as awful to Frisk as hers felt good to him. Was it like making out with a coat rack?
The only thing that saved him from another five or six hours of tortured introspection was the smell of pancakes. Sans shook himself, sat up, thought of the living room, and took himself downstairs, where he was met with...no one. To his disappointment, the house was now empty, save for a single plate and a note on the table:
SANS! YOUR GREAT BROTHER (ME) HAS KINDLY AGREED TO ALLOW YOU TO SLEEP IN LIKE THE SLOTHFUL SACK OF BONES YOU ARE WHILE WE ESCORT OUR DEAR
Another set of handwriting, much less elegant and more emphatic, had scribbled out KRIS so hard that the paper was almost torn through, replacing it neatly with Frisk.
FINE THEN OUR DEAR FRISK TO GRILLBY'S AS A CONVENIENT PLACE FROM WHICH TO FURTHER DISTRIBUTE PANCAKES. PLEASE PARTAKE OF THE DELICIOUS BREAKFAST PREPARED WITH LOVE BY YOUR BROTHER, THE GREAT PAPYRUS, AND CONSIDER JOINING U
There was a trailed-off line where the S should have began, and a smear of ink as testament to a struggle for the pen before the other handwriting victoriously resumed,
We're at Grillby's!!! (Much smaller:) see was that so hard
NO ONE SAID IT WAS HARD, NYEH!! I WAS MERELY TRYING TO CONVE (smear)
Why are you actually writing NYEH you damn goober
WHY ARE YOU NOT
oh my god (Much bigger:) SANS EAT YOUR PANCAKES
Sigh. Sans obediently picked up a fork, then realized no one was around, folded the stack in half, and shoved it down his throat. He remembered another time with a fork and breakfast being crammed in his face; little did he know then...
With his mouth still full, Sans abruptly stood up and gathered himself for to a shortcut to Grillby's—only for his magic to sputter and fizzle out. Dammit! Had he only gotten enough back to teleport into the living room?
Well, Grillby's might not be very far, but after the past couple days, he was completely sick of walking. He could just wait a few more minutes for his magic to regenerate. It wasn't like he'd die if he didn't see her right this second. Right?
He glanced at the fork again.
A moment later, he was closing the front door behind him, shuffling through the snow with his hands in his pockets.
To his surprise, one of the wagons was parked outside the house, most of its contents sitting on the ground. Aaron and Ice Wolf were busy moving packages into the shed; the only things left in the wagon were the crates of vials, seedlings, and other items for Alphys. Sans caught Aaron's eye, and the merhorse flexed nervously at him before returning to work.
Hm. Toriel must've told them to bring the wagons to Frisk in Snowdin, and then Undyne had gotten Pap to unlock the shed and made these guys unload all the gifts. Nice! That was one less thing to worry about.
Ice Wolf was setting down one of the last packages and climbing back into the wagon. Sans watched in sudden apprehension as the wolf pulled out a crate and trotted down toward the river, raising it over his head to—
It really wasn't Ice Wolf's fault. Apparently, he'd heard Frisk tell Undyne that the crates were all accounted for, and now they needed to go to Hotland; it was already his job to send things there by throwing them into the water, so he figured he might as well help with these, too. One flying tackle and a heated discussion later about the difference between chunks of ice and irreplaceable scientific materials, the wolf monster was directed to the Royal Guards' ferry, which could transport the crates without anything getting waterlogged or melted.
Okay. That was one wagon safely disposed of. Time to follow the other one's tracks in the snow past the deserted librarby – heh, he'd never get tired of that – to Grillby's.
Sure enough, the other wagon stood empty right outside the bar, which was absolutely packed. Sans could smell why: for the first time in months, Grillby was serving hot food. If Sans knew Frisk, no one would have to pay for it, either.
Free pancakes or not, things were quite orderly. The monsters were waiting in a line stretching out the door and along the side of the building; the Royal Guard Captain could be heard directing traffic inside, and those without were politely ignoring Papyrus as he strode back and forth, instructing them to keep waiting. "SANS! THERE YOU ARE!" he said, cheerful as always. "IT'S GOOD TO SEE YOU, NYEHH! I WASN'T SURE IF THE HUMAN IN MY HEAD WAS ENTIRELY TRUSTWORTHY, BUT IT SEEMS SHE WAS CORRECT AFTER ALL! I'M SO GLAD THAT YOU ARE BACK SAFELY!"
"Yeah, I'm here," answered Sans, giving his brother a friendly nudge in passing. "An' speakin' of the human—"
"AH-AH, BROTHER!" Papyrus flung his hands out to block the doorway. "YOU MUST WAIT WITH EVERYONE ELSE."
Sans stared down at him. "What the crap, bro? I already ate. I just wanna get in ta—"
"IT IS A DIRECT ORDER FROM UNDYNE! NO EXCEPTIONS!"
"Well, you're bein' exceptionally dumb!" He tried to stoop to see in the door, but to no avail: there was no room between the monsters in line and those leaving. "Come on, Pap! All I want is—"
A red-gloved finger stabbed up at him. "BACK IN LINE, SANS! NYEH-HEH-HEH!"
And just like that, for one second, Sans was so irritated that he wanted to pick his brother up by the spine and toss him aside. It took far too long to remind himself that he loved Papyrus more than life itself, his brother was just being himself, and Sans shouldn't pick him up by the friggin' spine! What was wrong with him today?
Sans shook himself, pulled a face, and started ambling toward the end of the line. The moment Pap's attention was elsewhere, though, the boss monster turned on his heel, speed-sneaked up to the doorway, tapped on a couple of shoulders, and said, "'Scuse me."
Somehow, no one else seemed concerned that he was cutting in line. A duck, a wriggle and a side-shuffle later, Sans was in the bar, ignoring his brother's orders to come back that instant!
There were so many monsters inside that they'd had to shove the rectangular tables against the wall. Undyne was seated at the high table near the back door, keeping her eye on the line as it moved toward the bar; Grillby had set up a griddle and was silently dispensing one pancake and one blob of hash browns to each monster—not much, but it was still human food, equivalent to a couple of good-sized meals. The stools at the end of the bar were laden with plates, forks, and napkins, but almost everyone was ignoring them and devouring their food on the spot.
Where the hell was Frisk? Even at Sans' height, it took him a moment to locate her. But someone finally moved aside, and his SOUL leapt like an excited little dog at the sight of its favorite human. She was perched on a corner of the bar, tiny feet swinging, wearing her black cloak and a high-necked gown; an intrepid kid had wormed his way into her lap, and Frisk was petting his seahorse-shaped head as she listened to old Gerson. She said something that made the elderly tortoise chortle and whap the bar with his stick, and Sans tried to edge forward.
"Hey!" barked Undyne. The entire place fell quiet as the Captain got down from her chair and stalked over to Sans. "You shouldn't be in here," she scolded him. "Does this look like a good place to just hang out right now? Huh?"
The boss monster ignored her and glared at Gerson, who was occupying both barstools at that corner. Then he looked at Frisk, who was smiling at him, and he immediately forgot what he was mad about. He tried to think of something witty: "Uh." Shuffle. "Hi."
"Ugh! I know the note said we'd be here, but I didn't mean for you to come right in and—are you listening?!" The fish monster had to sock him in the radius to get his attention. "Look, doofus, if you're gonna take up space, do it over there!" She pointed at the gramophone in the corner.
Sans obediently trudged through the press of monsters and stationed himself near Frisk. Undyne followed him, nodding respectfully to Gerson. "So, boss. How was it, living in the lair of the enemy?" the Captain inquired, leaning against the bar. When he looked blank, she prompted, "How'd the humans treat you?"
Why was she asking this now, and what was that look she was giving him? ...Oh, fuck, that was right. She might have seen him on the floor in Frisk's room before he shortcut away, and was fishing for information. Ha. He didn't know whether Frisk had successfully denied it or not; better err on the side of being dickish about humans. "It sucked. They're dumb, they smell weird, an' they all stared at me like a friggin' zoo animal," he complained.
Frisk shifted to look at him, and he quailed at her expression. "Excuse me," she said coldly. "Are you going to mention that you had your own room with a bed even bigger than you are, or how much food you had brought straight to you every single day? All you had to do in return was read and put things in bottles!"
"Seriously?" Undyne punched one fist into her other hand. "Didn't you have to fight for your life against terrible odds, or steel your resolve and withstand all kinds of torture, or something?"
"It was a feather bed with silk sheets," said Frisk, and Undyne made a retching sound.
"Wah ha ha!" Gerson thumped the bar again. "If you ever need another apprentice, girlie, sign me up! Won't hear me complainin'!"
"Me neither," said the kid on Frisk's lap. To Sans' absolute disgust, the seahorse's curved head was snugged up under her bosom, the cloak tucked in like a blanket. Her hood was down, and in the bar's overhead lights, he was reminded of that fateful moment where he'd seen her clearly for the first time, the delicate symmetry of her features and the beautiful red tones in her eyes...
Sans didn't realize he was staring until Undyne coughed. "So all humans are gross and dumb, huh?" She scratched behind her right fin. "Well, if you had to get stuck with one, at least you wound up with Frisk. I mean, she's not that bad, right?"
"Uh..." Fuckin' Undyne! Was she being sarcastic, or actually trying to figure out how he felt? If so, should he try to convince her that he wasn't interested in Frisk, or at least that he wasn't completely batshit in love with her?
...Crap. They were waiting for the next batch of pancakes to finish cooking, so the line had stalled, and now a bunch of other monsters were listening. All it would take was one idiot gossiping about Sans' interspecies love affair for it to get back to Asgore, who would lose what was left of his big dumb mind. Sans had to throw them off...but what could he even say?
Double crap. He made the mistake of looking at Frisk, who had picked up a fork from the bar and—god damn it, she was looking back at him and tapping it against her lips! As if he needed a reminder that she was still stunningly beautiful, or to think more about kissing her. The seahorse was now asleep on her lap, completing the picture of a woman he couldn't hate any less.
Sans gave himself a mental kick in the nuts: he had to say something before someone noticed him ogling her. "Well...it...coulda been worse," he said, turning his head dismissively, "but you should see what she does t'books. She folds the pages up like a damn kid!"
"Oh, yes, I just loved having a ten-foot mother-in-law telling me what I could do with my own things," the human shot back. She turned to address the snickering monsters: "Not only did he get literally one hundred eighty square feet of bed to himself while I slept on the couch like a vagrant, he spent an hour in the tub every single night. I kept having to bang on the door and wake him up! And he has the nerve to complain about how I treated my books?"
The snickering increased as Sans' skull grew warm. Was she playing along, or was she actually mad? Why didn't anything make sense anymore?! "Yeah, well, you snore" was all he could think to say.
With unnerving speed, Gerson swung his stick up and around till it was pointing at Sans' sternum. "And how do you know that, sonny boy?" he demanded.
That was a good question, and the others were eagerly awaiting his response. Sans didn't have the guts – ha – to look at Frisk, so he just shrugged. "I could hear it through two closed doors," he said casually.
Their listeners chuckled, clearly buying it, but Undyne grinned wider. "Good thing he doesn't like humans. You never had to worry about him trying anything weird," she said loudly to Frisk, who was covering her face with one hand. The Captain glanced back at Sans. "Right? 'Cause you don't like humans?"
"Right," said the boss monster. Just in case, he added, "'m not interested. They're too...uh...lumpy."
"Lumpy?" Undyne repeated, voice cracking.
"Lumpy," Frisk mumbled into her hand, and Sans bade a silent farewell to his chances of making it through the day alive.
Gerson snorted. "Never you mind him, girl. I remember when you were even smaller, and you flirted with every monster you met—why doncha try it again? Promise I won't laugh this time!"
The human raised her head long enough to say, "No, sir, but I think you'd fall asleep before we got anywhere interesting," and the monsters roared with laughter, all except Sans.
"That's a fair point," Gerson admitted, once he'd recovered. "A doll like you shouldn't be stuck with a stinky old thing like me. Maybe one of these other fine specimens of monsterhood would suit ya better?"
"Yeah, I'm a fine specimen!" someone called out, prompting more laughter, and cries of "Me too!" and "I'm not, but I'll learn!"
"I don't think so," Undyne said flatly, to Sans' eternal gratitude. "Frisk has a lot of work to do, and she's not gonna be here that long. Anyone who messes with her on my watch is gonna be my new training dummy. Got it?"
"Agreed," the giant skeleton muttered. "Don't want anybody interruptin' her bein' a perfect princess an' fixin' all the world's pr—"
Tng went Frisk's palm on the bar, slamming the fork down and nearly startling Gerson onto the floor. "Don't call me that!"
A moment of apprehensive silence, and then the line began moving again, the monsters whispering to each other and glancing over their shoulders. Well, it'd definitely worked, Sans thought, trying to get his SOUL moving again. No one would think anything was going on between them now. ...How was that little shit still asleep on her?
"Okay, okay," said Undyne, chagrined. "Geez. You're one to talk, boss."
"What's that supposed to mean?" Frisk asked suspiciously, saving him the trouble.
Gerson gave three rapid thumps on the floor. "Very true, Miss Undyne! Very true. Here's an interesting fact for ya," he said to the priestess. "When it comes to sowin' their oats, your average monster's not in any hurry, but bosses? They're almost as determined as humans! Wah ha ha!"
Frisk smiled weakly. "Ahh, I'm just funnin' with you. Don't worry about Sans," Gerson assured her. "Most folks don't know this, but romantically speaking, boss monsters ain't much of a threat to anyone. Sure, they've got that drive to have offspring, but they're too picky to do much about it." He waggled his stick in Sans' direction. "This fella's SOUL ain't interested in anybody weaker than he is. If he can't find another boss monster, he won't fix on anyone at all."
Sans' mouth fell open, and clicked shut. "Wait. What?"
The old tortoise cackled again. "Haven't you noticed, sonny?" he asked. "You're not interested in the ladies – or gents – 'cause none of 'em have enough magic to handle ya. Your SOUL can tell when you meet someone who might work out, and it ignores everybody else. It's instinct—keeps you from hurting a lesser monster by mistake. 'Course, the royals have each other, or at least they did, but..." His shrug was eloquent, almost pitying. "Not sure what to tell you, young skeleton. Hope you find a way to scratch that itch someday."
"Are you serious? How do you know that? Why the hell didn't I know that?!" Sans was too angry to notice how red Frisk was, or how wide Undyne's eye had gotten. "D'ya know how much I've been worryin' about what'd happen if I—" He caught himself just in time. "—got really interested in someone? Yer tellin' me that just bein' interested means it's safe ta go for it?"
"Wah ha! It sure would!" Thump thump. "Ya really didn’t know that? Didn't you get 'the talk' from Asgore or Toriel?"
Sans shook his head. He'd never talked to the King about personal stuff, and Toriel knew how much he hated being a boss monster, so she hadn't brought it up. She certainly never told him what to expect if he did find a potential mate. Sans couldn't really blame her; how was she supposed to know he'd meet someone like Frisk?
Gerson harrumphed at him. "Well, some of us remember how the King and Queen were before the Prince was born—couldn't keep their hands off each other! I had to have a talk with 'em about corrupting our youth with their bad example, and Asgore went on and on about how their SOULs couldn't help it! Poor Toriel wouldn't look me in the eye for a month afterwards!" He cackled yet again. "Not the sort of thing I'd go around repeating to just anyone, is it?"
"Yeah, well, I wish you'd repeated it to me!"
"How fascinating," said Frisk, tilting her head to feign curiosity. That wasn't fair: he knew she was faking, and it was still the cutest damn thing he'd ever seen. "So I don't have to worry about Sans bothering me?" she asked innocently.
"Not unless you're a boss monster, too!" The tortoise had a hearty chuckle at that idea.
No one really joined in, especially not Sans, who was remembering his own words to Alphys. "If humans had anythin' like boss monsters, she'd be one fer sure"...
Suddenly, the little seahorse on Frisk's lap jerked awake, sitting up and rubbing his eyes with one long, hand-like fin. "Good morning," the priestess said kindly.
He yawned a weird little yawn, and mumbled, "Good morning, Princess."
Frisk stiffened. Sans resisted the urge to tie the kid in a knot as the human said, "No, dear. When Sans called me that, he was being sarcastic," with an inflection that made the skeleton wince. "I'm not actually a princess."
Blink. "Oh." Blink. "I don't get it. Aren't you Chara? You were here before, and Lady Toriel said—oww!"
Gerson had rapped the seahorse between the ears with his stick. "Pay attention, sprout," he said severely. "Chara died before you were even hatched. This here is Miss Frisk, you got that?"
The little monster mumbled an apology, ears drooping. Grillby saved them all from further awkwardness by moving over and crackling something at Gerson, who nodded and leaned over to whisper to Undyne, who stood up in turn and stomped the floor for everyone's attention. "Two dozen pancakes left, and we're out of hash browns!" she called out. "Everyone who hasn't gotten theirs yet, count off! One! Two! Three—"
Groaning arose as "Four," "Five," "Six" came down from the head of the line, ending in a triumphant "Twenty-four!" near the door.
"What the hell," complained the twenty-fifth monster. "I didn't come all the way from Waterfall to get screwed again!"
"You shouldn't have come to eat our food in the first place," Dogamy snapped.
"Everyone was already lining up, and I was all the way at the back! So I came to get something for the kids—"
"Well, you should've thought of that before you went and had another one," Faun cut in. "It's people like you who're the problem, making more mouths to feed instead of helping the rest of us!"
"Oh, like you ever get your lazy carcass out to work the fields! I'm trying to keep our race from dying out, and you—"
"No, you—"
Someone shoved someone else, and in a flash, Undyne interposed herself between them. "Take it outside!" she ordered, addressing the angry latecomers as a whole. "Or, don't fight each other over something we can't control! Put some of that energy where it counts!"
"Like where? Going out to look for food and getting captured by humans like her?"
It was no use: more squabbles and counter-squabbles started breaking out, and within seconds, the place was in chaos. Sans moved in front of Frisk, knowing he couldn't trust himself to join the fray—he was already agitated, and it’d be too easy to kill someone by mistake. Undyne had no such qualms, and was dragging a couple of miscreants around in headlocks when an ear-splitting whistle brought everyone to their knees.
The only exception was the child on Frisk's lap. The priestess had shielded his ears with one hand, and was lowering the other from her mouth. "There's more coming," she said into the pained silence, voice clear and steady. "Sans has arranged to pick up several hundred pounds of food, two days from now. We'll bring it straight back here, and every last one of you will have some, including your families." Frisk gave the room a slight smile. "If I'm lying, feel free to eat me instead."
Before anyone else could speak, Gerson tapped the bar next to her. "Is it true that you're in talks to buy us that place on the river?" he asked.
"Yes, and we can improve your existing farmland in the meantime," replied Frisk.
Murmurs arose throughout the room, hope warring with skepticism. "Well," Gerson said slowly, "on behalf of the entire Underground, I've got to say—"
"OH MY GOD!" Sans and Frisk both sighed as Papyrus waved from the doorway. "CAPTAIN UNDYNE! THE QUEEN IS HERE! SHE WANTS TO SEE KRIS RIGHT AWAY!"
The crowd gasped, monsters hurrying to stand aside for Frisk; she waved away Sans' proffered hand, set the kid on the bar, and hopped down. "I'll be right there," she called to Papyrus, and walked out through the aisle, smiling at each monster in passing.
That was what did the trick, Sans thought, along with Pap getting her name wrong—good reminders of the warm-hearted human they'd known and loved. The murmuring started right back up again, but now the thoughtful or hopeful voices were much louder, the pissy ones silent.
The seahorse had floated down to the floor and was bobbing his way through the crowd. Watching him go, Sans wondered about Frisk's reaction to being called a princess. Not only should she be one, as far as he was concerned, she should be in line to rule the whole damn kingdom. Judging from her performance as High Priestess, she'd be damn good at it, much better than her scrawny little half-brother...
Undyne had left right after Frisk, and the other monsters were filing out. When the place was nearly empty, Gerson muttered, "You've got to do better than that, son."
The giant skeleton shook himself and scowled at the old man. "Whaddya mean? I didn't attack anyone. I was just makin' sure nobody went after Frisk."
Another laugh, shorter and more cynical. "You're about three hundred years too young to play dumb with me, boy!" Gerson brandished the stick at him. "What I mean is, I don't blame you for bein' sweet on her, but you can't keep looking at her like that. For one thing, it's embarrassing! Wah ha ha!" Thu-thump. "More importantly," he said, sobering in an instant, "people 'round here have nothing to do but talk. No one's forgotten the whole mess with Chara, 'specially not His Majesty. Better not give him a reason to think history's gonna repeat itself."
Sans tried to formulate a denial, and also several questions, but then the old tortoise banged his stick on the floor again, this time to assist himself in sliding off the barstools. "I'd tell you to leave her be," he grumbled, "but if your SOUL's made up its mind, I suppose there's no helping it." A gross, multi-part sniffle. "That little lady, strong enough to match a boss monster? Ha! Will wonders never cease?" He adjusted his pith helmet. "Well, feel free to come see me in Waterfall, the both of you—but not till tomorrow! This was plenty of excitement for one day! Wah ha!"
"Hold up!" Sans protested as the tortoise started shambling toward the door. "What do you mean, 'the whole mess with'—"
Right on cue, there was a cry of "BROTHER!" as Papyrus popped his head in. "BROTHER, COME AND SEE! KRISK HAS BROUGHT PUZZLES! THERE'S ONE FOR YOU, TOO!"
Ah, the gifting had begun. Sans waved him away. "Tell 'er ta get started without me."
"REALLY? IF YOU SAY SO... OH! HELLO, SIR GERSON! THE HUMAN SAID TO TELL YOU THAT SHE HAS PEANUT BRITTLE, NYEH-HEH!"
"Ooooh," the elderly monster said, perking up. The moment Papyrus was gone, Gerson turned and rapped his stick on Sans' patella. "There you have it, boy! It's like my old mam always said: 'Gerson, if you ever find a girl who remembers how much an old fart like you loves his peanut brittle, you hang on to her, human or not!'"
Sans highly doubted that Gerson's old mam had ever said that, but he wasn't in the mood to argue. In fact, he wasn't in the mood for much of anything. Instead, he turned to the bartender as Gerson gradually left. "Hey, Grillbs. I’ve got a few minutes—what's on tap today?"
It was disgusting, he knew, but the simple fact was that Grillby had to stay in business somehow. When there was no food to serve, he could always sell drinks, and when there were no drinks, he had gotten creative—for example, the "mudslide" he slid down the bar to Sans was named for its primary ingredient and sprinkled with enough magic to…still taste like mud. But it was a drink!
The bartender wandered over as Sans downed the whole thing at once, remembering too late that he could have just put his tongue away and avoided tasting it at all. Clearly, he needed to drink a little more and get his head on straight. The skeleton gestured for another, and when Grillby crackled at him, Sans just said, "Don't worry, Frisk'll pay my tab."
The flames on Grillby's eyebrows rose higher, but he produced another mudslide and watched Sans gulp it down. "So," said the boss monster, "I kinda remember what happened with Chara, but my memory ain't what it used to be since everythin’ blew up in my face." He held his mug out. "Wanna tell me a little more 'bout ‘er?"
~
"...and this is for you, too," said Frisk, placing another box in front of Toriel.
The goat monster shook her head. "Goodness, child, you shouldn't have! How am I supposed to carry all this back with me?"
"Make Sans do it," Undyne suggested, to general approval.
They had decided to tackle the gift distribution in stages, starting with Papyrus, Undyne, and Toriel, and were opening them in the skeleton brothers' living room. Papyrus was happily occupied with his first gift, an interlocking ring puzzle; he'd declined to open anything else yet, ostensibly to wait for his brother, but mostly out of impatience to get the rings apart.
"Speaking of which, where is Sans?" asked Toriel. Papyrus was already muttering to himself, the rings clicking as he began tugging harder.
"Who knows, Your Majesty?" Undyne had only a few boxes by her feet, and was doing her best not to look at them too hard until everything had been doled out. She brightened as Frisk set two more down for her. "Is that all of 'em?"
"That's all for everyone here." Frisk picked up the very last package, straining a little to lift it, and took it to the back room. When she returned, she said, "You can open them now, Lady Toriel, or wait until you get home. Since we're staying so close by, Undyne, I think you can go ahea—"
The Captain had already ripped open her first box and tossed the lid aside. She paused and squinted at an array of bottles nestled in white cotton. "What's all this?"
"There's regular moisturizer, waterproof moisturizer, burn ointment, treatment for scale rot, an antiseptic for small cuts, and armor polish," Frisk explained, pointing to each in turn. "I infused everything myself, except the polish."
"Thanks! I hope you don't expect me to remember all that," Undyne commented, bending to grab the next box and catching herself mid-rip. "Oh. Uh, sorry, Your Majesty. Your turn."
Toriel smiled. "Please go ahead, Captain. I—"
The box was already wide open. "Whoa!" It was a set of the "history books" Undyne had admired on the humans' last visit—the most action-filled comics Frisk could find, much more violent than the story-driven ones Alphys liked. She grabbed the top one and flipped through it gleefully. "Ha ha! I can't believe it! Are those his guts?"
"NYEHHH!" Meanwhile, Papyrus was now reduced to banging the rings on the arm of the couch. "HUMAN! I DO NOT WISH TO ALARM YOU, BUT IT SEEMS THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SOLD A DEFECTIVE PUZZLE!" He gave the rings a final shake and threw them on the floor, then plunked himself down on the couch, arms grumpily folded.
Undyne glanced up from her comic and snickered. Papyrus looked very hurt until his friend bent to pick up the separated rings, holding them over her head like spoils of war. "See, Pap? You gave it your all, and look what happened!" She threw the rings back on the floor and caught his arms to pull him up for a triumphant noogie. "I knew you had it in you!"
"Y-YES, OF COURSE! THE GREAT PAPYRUS CAN CONQUER ANY PUZZLE! N-NYEH-HEH-HEH! ...PLEASE STOP CELEBRATING MY GREAT VICTORY!"
"I believe I'll open something now," Toriel murmured, leaving Papyrus to extricate himself. She unwrapped the paper on the top box, peeked inside, and immediately gave a squeal of joy. "Oh, my goodness! My child, how did you—" She clasped her hands. "Are those real vanilla beans?! And—"
"I didn't know the exact recipe, so I got every pie ingredient I could think of," Frisk said, grinning at Toriel's excitement. She slid out the bottom box in the stack. "Check these next, please. I couldn't remember if you needed salted and unsalted butter, so I got both."
"Yes, I do! But..." The boss monster pulled out tall jars of milk, buttermilk, and heavy cream, then looked at her narrowly. "I don't wish to be rude, but how long have you been transporting these? I know the weather is cold, but won't they have spoiled by now?"
"Not on my watch," declared Frisk. "I used a few preservatives—if you put a little in the jar beforehand, it keeps the contents fresh for up to a week without affecting the flavor."
"Seriously?" Even Undyne was interested. "That's pretty neat. Is this the kind of stuff you've been teaching Sans?"
"Yes, it is. He knows how to make preservatives, medicine, fertilizer—I brought the recipes and ingredients for those, too. You'll be able to save a huge amount of magic using them."
"I see," Toriel said slowly. She smiled, almost a grimace, as she put the jars away. "It may not have been under the best circumstances, but I am very thankful that he met you again, my child. His life has very hard since...since the accident, and I have not been as supportive as I could have. Spending time with a wonderful friend like you must have been such a relief to him."
"Don't be so hard on yourself, Majesty. You had a lot of problems, too," protested Undyne.
"Yes, but I..." Toriel was definitely grimacing now. "I suppose you're right, Captain. Still, I am very glad to know that he has been in Frisk's care."
Frisk was fighting another blush. Her neck still itched from the healing spell the innkeeper had given her for the “crick” in her neck before they checked out that morning. "I hope I’ve helped. I know what it's like to lose someone, and to feel alone. I've missed you all so much," she said truthfully. "I just wish it was safe for some of you to come back with us for a visit."
Toriel's golden gaze sharpened. "With 'us,' my child? What do you mean?"
"Sans is gonna escort her home," Undyne said quickly. "Also, she wants bring some of our stuff back with her to show off, but she doesn't know how it all works. The humans are kinda used to Sans by now, so we figured he might as well tag along."
"That does sound like a good idea," Toriel agreed, and Frisk caught Undyne's eye for a grateful moment. "Would you like to open something else now, Papyrus?"
"HM?" The skeleton was playing with the rings again, figuring out how to lock them back together. "NO, THANK YOU, LADY TORIEL. I'LL WAIT FOR SANS. WHERE IS HE?"
Undyne was already tearing open another box, unasked. "Oh, no way! Are these targets?!"
"Of course! They look like wood, but it's actually metal." Frisk got up to look out the window. Where was Sans?
"Who knows? Maybe he found a lady friend," Undyne said absently, flicking the metal discs to test their sturdiness.
"That's not a nice thing to say, Undyne," Toriel reproved her.
For half an irate second, Frisk thought Toriel was angry on her behalf. Then her brain caught up, and she turned to ask, "Why? Because there aren't any other boss monsters?"
"Exactly," said the former Queen, "and a lesser monster would not suit him. It's honestly a bit cruel to suggest that he—"
"WHAT ABOUT A HUMAN?" Papyrus asked without looking up.
Pause. "A human?" Toriel repeated as Undyne and Frisk glanced at each other in alarm.
"YES. HUMANS ARE PLENTIFUL, AND SOME OF THEM HAVE MAGIC! COULDN'T SANS BORROW ONE? FOR EXAMPLE, FRISK IS VERY—"
"No."
Everyone froze at the vehemence in Toriel's voice. The boss monster breathed in, and out, almost baring her teeth. "I...excuse me. I need to check that this is everything necessary for a pie."
Undyne let the targets slide off her lap as Toriel took her boxes to the kitchen. "What's the matter with you, Papyrus?" the Captain hissed. "Why’d you have to go and bring up humans? Don't you remember what happened with Chara?"
The skeleton's brow creased. "JUST THAT THE HUMAN PRINCESS WENT TO LIVE WITH OTHER HUMANS...WHEN WAS IT AGAIN?"
"A little over…what, twenty years ago? I guess you were probably just a kid, but still…" Undyne saw how intently Frisk was listening, and sighed. The Captain checked the kitchen, where Toriel was occupied with moving things around and muttering to herself, then beckoned them closer. "Okay, here’s the short version. A bunch of humans came to see the King," she said quietly. "They were here for a couple weeks, and Chara got really depressed after they left. The King wound up sending her off to marry one of the guys she'd met—didn’t you learn this in history class, Pap?"
Papyrus still looked blank, and the fish monster sighed in exasperation. "Anyway, she came right back here 'cause the marriage didn't work out, not sure why. Asgore had a huge fight with Asriel and the Queen about whether Chara should stay here or go marry another human. He made her leave again, but she never got married to anyone, and she didn't come back until the visit where everyone blew up."
"OH." Papyrus looked at the reconnected rings in his hand. "WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH SANS MARRYING A HUMAN?"
There went Frisk's face again. "Because," mumbled Undyne, "as far as everyone is concerned, it all happened because a human got too involved with monsters—an adult human,” she clarified, nodding at Frisk. “The whole problem with Chara was that there was no one here for her to pair off with. Monsters can always figure out a way to combine their magic if they really want to have kids, but she didn't have any magic at all, so it wouldn’t have worked. Besides, humans barely even live sixty years. Asgore thought it'd cause too much heartache if she stayed."
Papyrus digested this information for a moment, then said at least part of what Frisk was thinking: "DIDN'T IT CAUSE A LOT MORE HEARTACHE TO SEND HER AWAY? THIS WAS HER HOME, AND THEY WERE HER FAMILY, EVEN IF SHE COULDN’T GET MARRIED."
"That's exactly what Asriel and Toriel thought, and they never forgave him for it. Then both Chara and Asriel wound up dead, and Asgore blamed every single thing on the humans. Then Toriel stood up in front of everyone and said it was his own damn fault for throwing their child out like a dog, twice, and here we are now."
Frisk shivered. Those were Chara's words from the day Frisk hid in the living room and overheard those terrible things. As a child, she hadn't understood why Chara seemed to hate her kind, loving parents so much. Poor Princess, Frisk thought bitterly, digging her nails into her leg. "Papyrus," she said aloud, "check your gray box. It's not a puzzle."
A moment later, Toriel looked up at a strange sound, like air hissing out of a broken pipe. She finished re-packing the pie ingredients and turned to see Papyrus holding up a bundle of dry pasta, some ground beef, various herbs, and a bag of fresh tomatoes. His sockets were the size of salad plates, and he was making a noise that could best be described as a pre-scream.
"Hey, would you look at that, Pap! You haven't made spaghetti in years! What have you done?" Undyne said through gritted teeth, ending with a glare at Frisk.
As expected, Papyrus paid no attention. He had just enough presence of mind to set the box down gently before he exploded into a rapturous, unbroken "THANK YOOOOU" that lasted at least two straight minutes, starting with a huge hug-and-twirl for Frisk, then Undyne as she rescued the human, and finally ending in the kitchen with "LADY TORIEL!!! LOOK!!!!"
"That is wonderful, Papyrus, but…oh, dear! Look at the time," Toriel exclaimed. "Ladies, may I expect you at my house tonight, around eight o’clock? I'll have a pie waiting!"
Frisk bit back her reflexive protest about Sans. "What about the rest of your gifts?" she asked instead.
Toriel smiled at her. "We can come back here tomorrow, of course! After all, I missed seeing Sans today. We don't need to stay cooped up in the Ruins for your entire visit!"
"AND IT MAY BE POSSIBLE THAT I WILL HAVE LEFTOVER SPAGHETTI FOR YOU, LADY TORIEL!" added Papyrus. "NOT THAT I EXPECT IT TO GO UNEATEN, NYEH! I WILL MERELY BE SURE TO MAKE ENOUGH FOR EVERYONE. I WOULD HATE FOR YOU TO MISS THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF CULINARY PERFECTION!"
"Yes, of course," the former Queen said kindly, eye twitching only a little.
The priestess hesitated, and Undyne stepped in again: "We'll see what happens this afternoon, Your Majesty. We've got a lot more stuff to give out, and Alphys wants to see Frisk, too. I don't know how late we'll be back here tonight, and it's a long walk to the Ruins—"
"That's what Sans is for!" Toriel said gaily, and Frisk felt a twinge of irritation. "If I come across him," the boss monster continued, gathering up the boxes of ingredients, "I will be sure to send him straight here. Until then, my child, please enjoy your stay. I'll see you this evening!"
There was no way out of it, so Frisk smiled and nodded and waited for the door to close before she said, "Dammit."
Undyne shrugged sympathetically. "It's a mom thing. Mine was the same way."
Frisk bent to pick up handfuls of packing paper. "So was mine," she muttered.
The Captain waited for more, but Frisk went on grabbing and folding up paper until it became apparent that that was all. Undyne shrugged, glanced at her unopened boxes, and shrugged again, reaching for the comics. "Just put it outside," she advised as Frisk looked around for a larger trashcan. The human sighed, draping her cloak over her shoulders as she opened the door.
Papyrus was puttering around the kitchen in sheer bliss. Out of habit, Undyne got up to supervise, and they were soon embroiled in a deathmatch against the tomatoes and noodles. "Higher! HIGHER!" the Captain yelled. "Remember! You have to break your foes' fighting spirit! Hear their cries of defeat and smell their agony!"
The skeleton clanged the wooden spoon harder against the sides of the pot. "Yes! I hear it!" he exclaimed.
"Yes! Good! You—" Undyne stopped. "Wait. I hear it, too." She went to the door, through which came a distinctive, high-pitched sound. "Oh," she said in disgust. "What the hell is he doing here?" The fish monster reached for the doorknob. "Close your ears, Pap."
Papyrus blinked, spoon still poised for a mortal blow. "But I don't have—"
Undyne opened the door, and the skeleton dropped the spoon into the sauce mixture as a shrill mechanical voice cut through the air: "I simply can't believe it! My little beauty grew into such a real beauty! What a sight for sore eyes amidst all these...these monsters!"
"Shut up, tin man," snapped the Royal Guard Captain, coming onto the porch. "I—oh! Hey, Alphys! Where did you guys come from?"
"From a place with manners." Mettaton adjusted his fur stole and swept back his fringe of real black hair. "That awful skeleton said my little beauty was here, so I came all this way—"
"Do you know where Sans is?" demanded Frisk, who was still recovering from the shock of going to take out the garbage and encountering Mettaton instead.
"Y-yes," said the scientist, coming up behind the automaton. "He came to see me in a p-panic because he forgot how to teleport home. I hope he's still sleeping back in the l-lab."
Frisk stood stock-still. “He forgot…?”
“Pffffahahahaha!" The fish monster slammed her fist into the side of the house. "Oh my God! I knew I should have dragged him out of Grillby's when I had the chance! He was drunk, wasn't he?"
Alphys just sighed. Frisk growled under her breath, which made Undyne laugh even harder. "He..." She choked back a sob. "He was right here, and he walked all the way to...to..."
Pause. "I think he t-took the ferry," Alphys said, and moved back as the Captain collapsed into a snorting heap.
Oh, for God's sake, Sans! "Never mind. It's wonderful to see you again, Mettaton!" she said with unfeigned enthusiasm, shaking the automaton's still-pearly-gloved hand. His arms were much less floppy now, his body more streamlined, face smoothly outlined with tiny gemstones. Before he could launch into any further praise, the human moved aside and took Alphys' clawed hand. "And thank you so much for coming all the way here, Doctor. It means a lot to me."
There was that shy, scaly smile. "Th-thank you, um, Frisk. I'm r-really glad you're here." She chuckled nervously. "This is going to t-take some getting used to. But...you are v-very p-pretty."
Frisk smiled wider, and bent to give the scientist a hug. “Thank you,” she said in Alphys’ ear. “I’ve really missed you.”
The scientist mumbled something, then yelped as Undyne suddenly scooped them both up. "You know what else? This lady brought a buttload of presents for everyone,” she announced, setting them down on the porch. “Go on in while I grab your stuff!"
"I..." It was no use pointing out that the living room was about a third of the size required to open all the additional gifts, especially Mettaton's: Undyne was already charging toward the shed. "Yes, please, come in," said Frisk, leading the way inside. It would pass the time till Sans got back, she thought ruefully.
~
It wasn't his fault. Grillby had talked, and Sans had drank mudslides, and then Sans didn't know where he was anymore.
Everything was a blur for a while after that. He had no explanation for why he kept walking back and forth past his house, or how he wound up on the ferry, or how long he'd been lying outside the lab when Mettaton's rib-prodding woke him up. Sans had made it inside and found some nice cool floor to collapse on, and nothing else happened for a while.
Then a horrible, oozing feeling of dread crept over him, starting at the top of his cranium and trickling down till it hit his SOUL. He twisted to look upward at a familiar little pair of feet. The demon-child was suddenly peering down into his face, waving merrily, whispering, “Good to be back.”
And then it was gone. It stayed gone, too—no more fear, no nightmares, nothing. That was a relief, but a really weird one. The thing probably hadn’t even been there; it was just the mudslide talking…
The next time Sans awoke, he was alone, and any lingering apprehensions vanished as he looked at the clock. It was already late afternoon, heading into the evening. Shit! Where was Alphys? Where was Frisk?!
...Right. She was in Snowdin. Okay.
Where was Snowdin?!
Think, think. Snowdin: he lived there. It had his house. Sans took stock of his magic, which was doing well, and his mental capabilities, which could probably direct his teleportation now without getting him encased in solid rock or dropping him hundreds of feet from the cavern ceiling. The giant skeleton concentrated, and a moment later, he was back on the floor in his own room.
An odd smell was drifting up from the kitchen almost directly below. Dammit, he'd told Frisk not to actually get any spaghetti stuff! Oh, well, Pap sounded pretty happy. Where was everyone else?
A faint thud on the side of the house answered that question; Undyne was outside, laughing her ass off. Not long after, the front door crashed open and more voices flooded the house. To his surprise, he heard Mettaton and maybe a little of Alphys before Undyne and Papyrus drowned her out. There was Frisk, too, directing things—how the hell were they going to fit everyone inside?
The answer seemed to be a combination of Papyrus sitting on the stairs and Undyne smushing up against Alphys on the couch. Sans wished Undyne would hurry up and ask her out already; Al could use some non-fictional companionship, and the house could use a little less time with Undyne in it.
Should he at least come out and say hi, even if he had to stay upstairs and lean over the railing? But he didn't feel like talking to everyone, or making them feel like they had to find room for him. Besides, for all he knew, Frisk was still mad at him, just because he'd been a stupid jerk in front of people and then disappeared without warning for half the day...
No, better stay where he was for now, safe in his room, listening to them have fun as Undyne brought the presents in, and not feeling jealous or lonely at all.
Mettaton went first, because he was Mettaton. He also had the bulkiest set of gifts, including several bolts of very expensive silk; the automaton was so overjoyed that he promised to have his tailors make a couple of things for Frisk, too, and loan her some of his new hair accessories. Sans just hoped he wasn't going to make her wear the literal paint she'd bought for his face!
Did she even own any makeup? He'd never seen her wear more than a tiny bit. Come to think of it, he'd never seen her wear anything fancier than that dumb, sexy purple dress for All Souls Day.
There was more mechanical jubilation from downstairs, this time over the sets of dance steps and sheet music. Now MTT was proposing a grand fete after the next shipment of food arrived and Frisk's measurements had been taken, perhaps toward the end of her visit. After all, she still couldn’t be sure that Asgore was willing to make peace between the two kingdoms, and whether the dance would be a celebration or a permanent send-off; more importantly, they couldn’t start planning till the caterers knew exactly what they'd be working with.
Sans smirked into the darkness. A party, huh? As long as it didn't remind anyone of the farewell gala thirteen-ish years ago, then whatever, Frisk would love it; he'd be careful not to stare too hard if she got dressed up. He'd seen plenty of fancy ladies at the castle, and he was sure he could handle the sight of any—
Cries of dismay came through the floorboards. The boss monster was ready to zip downstairs and start busting heads, but the furor died right down, and he soon pieced together what'd happened: Papyrus had come over to admire something with a plate of spaghetti in his hand, only to trip over...probably nothing, and Frisk had thrown herself between the silk on Mettaton’s lap and the flying arc of tomato sauce.
The good news was that Mettaton was offering to take her laundry back with him, including a stain treatment for her sacrificed dress; the bad news was that she didn't have anything clean to wear in the meantime. There was a moment of silence as they tried to figure out what to do, with Mettaton's entourage all the way off in Hotland and the shops already closed for the day.
Alphys spoke, and after another quiet moment, Papyrus yelled something, his footsteps tramping excitedly up the stairs, Frish right behind him. They clattered around for a minute in Pap’s room, probably the closet; then she headed to the bathroom at the end of the hall, Sans trying not to tense up as she walked by.
He must have made some kind of noise, because now Papyrus was knocking on his door. "BROTHER? IS THAT YOU? IF THAT IS YOU, COME OUT THIS INSTANT! WE HAVE ALL BEEN CONCERNED ABOUT YOU AND YOUR TENDENCY TO DISAPPEAR FOR LONG PERIODS WITHOUT BEING HERE!"
Sans cringed. Of course Pap would be worried about him not coming back! Feeling like a complete ass, the boss monster got up slowly, yawning wide and rubbing his sockets as he opened the door. "Hey, bro," he mumbled. "Sorry 'bout that. I just thought I'd get some rest, didn't know I was gonna fall asleep."
"HMPH." Papyrus didn't just make the sound; he always had to say "hummff." "COME DOWNSTAIRS AND SAY HELLO TO OUR GUESTS. AND SPAGHETTI!! THE GREATEST GUEST OF ALL!!"
Oh, for God's sake, Frisk! Why had she—no, there was no use crying about it now. He couldn’t count on giving it away to anyone, either: even the starvingest monster remembered what Pap’s cooking was like. "Whoa, really? Lemme see," Sans said with enough enthusiasm to make Papyrus race downstairs to the kitchen.
The boss monster came out and paused at the head of the stairs. There was a small table in the corner at the foot of the staircase; he lifted it up and set it down next to him in the hallway, then zipped himself down to sit in the now-free space. God, he hated being huge. "Hey, guys," he said, pulling his legs up to his ribcage.
"What do you mean, 'hey, guys'?!" Undyne was glad for the excuse to put down her spaghetti, though it was difficult to find room for it on the floor. "What the hell have you been doing, besides being drunk and stupid?" She tried to stay angry, but a smirk kept showing through. "Did you seriously go all the way to the lab because you couldn't find your house?"
A beat of silence. "Yes?" hazarded Sans.
The only thing that saved Undyne from another attack of the giggles was the bathroom door opening upstairs. "Is that you, Sans?" called Frisk.
His SOUL went pitter-patter again. "Yeah, I'm back. Couldn't stay away from Pap's spaghetti," he replied, earning a soft “NYEHH” from the kitchen.
"I dunno, this might not be the right batch for you," Undyne said, loud enough for Frisk to hear. "The sauce is, uh, good, but it’s..." Snort. "It's..." Cough. "It's really lumpy."
More silence. It took Sans a second to remember why he wanted to punch her for saying that, and then fucking Papyrus had to add, “LUMPS ARE ESSENTIAL FOR PROPER FLAVOR!”
It was quiet upstairs; then Undyne snickered, and Frisk burst out laughing, the sound echoing down the stairwell and setting Undyne off again until both women were near tears.
"Private jokes are for children, darling," Mettaton informed Undyne, nudging his own plate away with his foot.
"You're for children," she mumbled, and Mettaton rolled his crystalline eyes.
“WELL?” A moment of crisis united them again: Papyrus was in the kitchen doorway, looking expectant. Alphys bravely twirled up an entire forkful and crammed it in her mouth, moving her cheeks to fake a smile.
They all fell respectfully silent as Papyrus went back to the kitchen, Undyne grabbing a glass of water for Alphys to help wash it down. "Oh, d-dear. Well, getting back to your idea, M-Mettaton," the scientist wheezed, "we should r-really ask His Majesty b-before we have any big events like that."
Mettaton clicked at her. "Oh, Alphys, it won't be anything excessive! Just a band, a few tables, every single monster in the Underground dressed in their absolute best—"
"Like this?" Frisk asked wryly, coming down the last step.
Sans had angled himself to face the others, and he stayed that way long enough to see their reactions first. For some reason, Mettaton looked as if he’d swallowed a bug. “Really, darling?” the automaton asked distastefully. “It’s like wrapping a star sapphire in toilet paper.”
Papyrus, on the other hand, was absolutely delighted: "AH HA! I KNEW IT WOULD FIT YOU, HUMAN! SANS, LOOK AT WHAT I'VE HAD IN MY CLOSET ALL THESE YEARS, JUST IN CASE, NYEH-HEH!"
"I l-like it. If w-we ever had a costume party, that w-would be perfect," Alphys remarked, adjusting her glasses.
Undyne snorted. "Yeah, except he didn’t look like that up top!"
Sans had no idea what to expect when he turned his head. He’d just been imagining Frisk in a ruffly ballgown, and it occurred to him much later that if she’d come downstairs wearing something really fancy or weird, he’d have been fine. But she wasn’t, and he wasn’t.
Frisk was wearing his old clothes. The blue hooded jacket, the white shirt, the black pants with white stripes—there they were, wrenchingly familiar and yet very different. For one thing, they were a bit too small on her; the pants reached the tops of her knees, while the shirt just barely covered her midsection. She wasn’t a lot taller now than he’d been before the accident, but as Undyne had immediately noticed, Frisk was filling it out far better than Sans ever had.
Her perfect figure notwithstanding, it also hit him that she was wearing the most shoddy, unfashionable, lazily masculine clothes possible – hence Mettaton’s distress – and she still looked like a princess.
"SPEECHLESS AT MY FORETHOUGHT, EH, BROTHER?" Papyrus had puffed his own chest out. "THE CLOTHING YOU WORE TO THE GALA MAY HAVE BEEN DESTROYED, BUT I HAD A SECOND, SECRET SET HIDDEN AWAY! DID YOU NEVER WONDER HOW I ALWAYS WASHED YOUR CLOTHES SO QUICKLY WHEN YOU WERE IN THE SHOWER?"
Sans tried to say "Sort of," or literally anything else, but too many things were crowding his mind, starting with nostalgia, and amazement that he'd ever been that small, with some bemusement that she was still so tiny. But that outfit also represented everything he used to be, everything he wanted back and couldn't have...and Frisk, who he was supposed to pretend he didn't want.
That was plenty of emotional crap to work through, and it wasn’t even his biggest problem. When Sans tried looking down to get ahold of himself, he found himself staring at the one thing that fit her perfectly.
“YES, I EVEN PRESERVED YOUR SOCKS FOR POSTERITY!” boasted Papyrus. “I HAVE ALLOWED YOU TO KEEP THAT GIANT PILE IN YOUR ROOM, EXCEPT OF COURSE FOR THE ONES I MADE INTO SOCK PUPPETS. BUT THOSE THAT I SAVED AS REGULAR SOCKS HAVE BEEN AWAITING THE DAY WHEN SOMEONE COULD WEAR THEM AGAIN!”
Sans made a noise. It could have been a disagreeable noise, or a polite one, or anything in between. He didn’t know, or care, because her feet were right there, and his dumb old socks had somehow become the most erotic thing imaginable—and he could imagine a lot of things. Sure, her feet had always been cute to look at because they were so small, but so was the rest of her. Those stupid goddamn socks were…more cute. A lot more.
Not for the first time, he thought of last night, smelling and hearing and touching, and wondered what’d happen if they ever got around to that stuff again with more lights on. He could handle seeing her, or everything else at once, and literally no combination thereof.
Frisk was looking at him, wine-colored eyes wide with puzzlement. “Sans?” She raised one foot to scratch her other calf. “Are you—”
Noooope nope— The only thing Sans could do to keep from tackling her in front of everyone was yell, “Be right back!” and take a shortcut to the first place he could think of.
~
There was stunned silence in his aftermath. Alphys gave a faint, heartbroken moan of “Oh, c-c-c’mon, he was right at the best part!”
“My, my,” Mettaton said slowly. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say he was being…amorous.”
“Nope, no way, he’s just weird,” Undyne muttered. “He probably doesn’t have a thing for feet at all. …Geez, did you guys see the way he was staring?! What’s wrong with him?”
Frisk was beet-red. “Well, dinner was absolutely delicious!” she chirped. “Thank you, Papyrus! So, Alphys! Why don’t you open your gifts now?!”
By unspoken consent, they turned to watch Alphys pick up her first box, passing their plates back for Frisk to discreetly scrape back into the pot and shove back into the refrigerator. Luckily, Papyrus wasn’t paying much attention; he was still staring at the foot of the stairs where his brother had been. “HOW STRANGE,” he muttered. “I REALLY THOUGHT HE’D LIKE THE SOCKS.”
~
One hour later, the clock struck eight, and Asgore jerked upright, staring blearily into the semi-darkness. Only the kitchen light was on; the fireplace was down to the last embers. The King of monsters retrieved his cold tea, threw it into the grate, and got up to put the mug in the sink.
A sound at the front door made him look up; a heavy knock made him scowl and raise his voice a little more than necessary. “Yes? Can it wait till morning?” he asked brusquely.
“I don’t think ya should, Yer Majesty,” said a familiar voice.
Asgore’s scowl deepened until he was nearly snarling. With great effort, he said, “One moment, Sans,” and tossed the mug into the kitchen, ignoring the sound of ceramic breaking. He took his time crossing the living room, and was in no hurry to unlock or open the door. “Good evening,” he eventually greeted the other boss monster.
Sans was a couple of steps down, putting him and the King on eye level. “Evenin’,” he replied. “Sorry ta be here so close to bedtime, but I owe someone a favor.”
Asgore raised an eyebrow. “A favor? What do y—”
“Dreemurr.”
The King stood as though he’d been changed to stone: not even his eyes moved as Toriel emerged from behind the leafless black tree in the courtyard. She nodded grimly, folding her hands. “I am here to say something to you about Frisk. Anything you say in return will be a waste of breath.”
No reaction. She nodded again and took another step forward, voice flat, eyes cold and hard. “You’ve allowed Frisk to be here, but I know you, Your Majesty. You’ll let the rest of her visit pass without so much as a word to her, and you will let her go home empty-handed, hoping Stephin will forbid her to come again and save you further discomfort. Never mind the possibility of procuring food for your people and freeing our kindred from slavery, unless you—”
“Tori,” grunted Sans. “Leave ‘im alone. Get to the point.”
Asgore glanced at him in surprise. Toriel ground her teeth, but after a moment, she said calmly, “You are right, my friend. I will be brief: I wish to inform His Majesty that if any harm befalls Frisk for any reason while she is here, there will be consequences…and that if His Majesty does not meet with her in a diplomatic capacity before she returns to the humans, I will do so.”
Both men started. “You can’t do that,” the King protested. “When you left here—”
Sans braced himself, and sure enough, Tori drew herself up till she seemed about thirty feet tall. “Do not tell me what I cannot do, Dreemurr!” she thundered. “When I left here, I ceased to be Queen, but I have not ceased to be me! You will not take another child from me, and I will not allow you to deprive our people of their last hope because you are too proud to admit your own incompetence! Do you understand?”
One more long, frozen instant. Asgore took a deep breath…
He slammed the door shut.
Sans coughed theatrically. “So. That…that happened.”
Toriel’s eyes closed. “Take us to Snowdin, please” was all she said.
Sans complied, letting her come up and lay a furry hand on his arm before he whisked them through space and onto the porch of his house.
“Thank you, my friend,” said Toriel. She gave him a tired smile. “I am so sorry. You wanted someone to talk to, and I made you take me straight to that close-minded, selfish—” The former Queen shook herself. “I…don’t suppose that whatever you wanted to talk about can be discussed in a minute or so? I’d like to collect the girls and head home now. If you want to stop by tomorrow—”
“Nah, the timing’s my fault. Don’t worry, it’s a short thing,” Sans said absently. He glanced at the door, wondering if everyone was still there, then ceasing to wonder as he heard several different voices at once and also some clanking. It sounded like they were playing charades. “It’s more of a thing I’d like ya to think over so we can talk about it later. And don’t tell anyone. Please.”
Toriel nodded pleasantly. “Of course, Sans. What is troubling you?”
Sans grabbed the doorknob, said, “I’m in love with a human,” and opened the door to boisterous greetings of “Sans!” “Where have you been, punk?!” and “SANS! THANK GOODNESS! QUICK, HELP ME EXPRESS THE CONCEPT OF ‘SUMMER RAINDROPS’!”
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Hi! I've got another Mettaton×reader request for you, if you don't mind. The setting is that Mettaton gets badly damaged, and of course his crush is worried sick. They insist on helping Alphys with the repairs, even if it's small things like handing her the right tool or something. The repairs take a week or two, and the crush just camps over at Alphys' lab the whole time. But anyway! The scenario I want you to actually write is when Mettaton is finally rebooted and wakes up. (cont.)
(cont.) So when Mettaton comes to, his crush is sitting next to whatever table/bed/thing he’s laying on. They go “Thank god!” and probably tear up a bit, smiling like a fool. Mettaton is like, touched that they’ve waited for him like that. When he asks about it, the crush gets all flustered. Mettaton ofc teases them, and as the conversation/banter goes on they accidentally mention at some point that they helped Alphys with the repairs… Que more flustering and eventually (cont. IM SORRY)
(cont.) eventually they end up telling him how much he means to them. In their nervousness, they get a bit rambly and end up confessing their romantic feelings to him. Then they hang their head and don’t look up again until Mettaton tells that he feels the same. Then they’re both awkward and happy and they smooch and stuff. // Sorry if this long, 3-ask explanation is unclear and sorry this is so dramatic. Thank you for considering this.
…this has been sitting in my inbox for over a year hasn’t it
dishonor on me, dishonor on my miltank, etc. etc. etc.
But I guess it’s better late than never…?
Below the cut: A Storm Leads to a Rainbow
(TW: Discussions and descriptions of a car accident, and the emotional and physical injuries resulting from it; brief mention of alcohol)
Two synthetic eyes open, and their owner groans, clutching his forehead. “Ugh… what happened?”
He looks in his immediate line of sight. The space-printed sheets on the bed he currently occupies, the posters displaying different franchises he likes (his own included), the star-shaped stickers on the ceiling… yep, this is definitely his guest room in Alphys’ place.
“But why–?” He reaches down and touches his hip. Just as he suspected, his charging cable is plugged securely into there. He barely has enough time to register this before he hears a familiar voice.
“Mettaton? Thank god!”
He sits up and looks over towards the source of the voice…
…and he promptly sees you sitting in one of his pink beanbag chairs, smiling like a weight had just been lifted away. And was he seeing things, or were those tears in your eyes?
“[Y/N]? I wasn’t expecting to see you here, sweetheart.” He smirks a bit. “Have you appointed yourself the president of my fan club? I’ll have you know that you’re competing with me for that position.”
“Heh…” To you, the sound of his voice is exactly what you need right now. You pull out your phone and open your text message program. “Just gonna let Alphys know you’re awake. She’s off jogging with Papyrus.”
After a few chuckles at his own joke, his smile soon becomes more genuine. “Thank you for thinking of me, though.”
“Of course.” You put your phone away after sending a message, and your smile becomes a little more sad as you try to ward off the rock forming in your throat. “When I heard about what had happened to you, I was so worried, and I couldn’t just…” You take a few deep breaths to keep the dam from bursting.
At this point, he can’t help but frown. “If you don’t mind me asking… what did happen to me, anyway? The last thing I remember was Bryan and I driving home, and before I knew it, our car tipped sideways. My whole body was in pain, I heard Bryan calling Alphys… and then I blacked out.” His hand clenches the mattress. “Is Bryan okay, by the way?”
“Yes. He had to visit the ER, but he wasn’t hurt too badly, and they let him go home after a few days. Anyway…”
After swallowing your nerves, you begin to explain the full story.
A little over a week ago, you had been visiting Alphys and Undyne and watching a movie with them. At one point in the movie, Alphys received a panicked phone call from Bryan, an orange mammal monster who seemed to be Mettaton’s frenemy of sorts. The two had been driving together to their respective homes after a production at the local theater when a drunk driver veered into their lane and crashed into Bryan’s car. When Alphys headed out to help, the scene indeed looked grisly, with roadside assistance having to help put the car upright again - and it was clear that at least half of the car would need repairs. Paramedics were helping Bryan into an ambulance…
“…and when she brought you back, I almost couldn’t look.” You shudder. “You looked like something chewed you up and spit you back out again!”
With a sneer, Mettaton folds his arms. “Oh, come on. I don’t taste that bad! Ask anyone who’s ever had one of my world-famous face steaks!” He taps his chin in thought. “Although, maybe I shouldn’t have made them so expensive at first…”
You chuckle nervously; at the time, you definitely wouldn’t have laughed if someone had made that joke, but now that Mettaton’s awake, the whole thing feels a little easier to put in the past.
“Honestly, though…” His expression softens into concern. “…my body looked that bad when Alphys brought me in?” He holds his hands in front of his face and wiggles his fingers, before peeking under the blankets and presumably checking his feet in a similar way. Next, he grabs a handheld mirror from the nightstand and studies his face, brushing his hair out of one of his eyes.
“Yeah…” You wipe away a few tears forming near your eyes. “If Alphys and I hadn’t fixed you up right away…” A shudder takes over your spine; you’re still not entirely sure how all the intricacies of his body work, and this was one situation where experimenting was not an option.
For a moment, Mettaton is silent…
…only to give you an odd look.
“Wait a minute… you helped Alphys with the repairs?”
“Uh–! Well!” Oh god, does he already know what you think of him? “She did most of the big work! I was just there to help hold you still, or to get her the right tools, or to keep an eye on you to make sure you were still stable while she was out getting more supplies and stuff. Undyne helped, too, when she wasn’t at work. Alphys and I took turns watching over you the first couple of nights, while you were still in somewhat critical condition…”
Mettaton blinks. “You even stayed over?”
“Y-yeah… I haven’t actually been home since I heard about the crash.”
By now, you can feel the floodgates open, tears rolling down your face as you explain yourself.
“I wanted to help Alphys as much as I could… I was so scared. You could have died if we hadn’t done enough in time, and if I hadn’t helped and you ended up dying… I don’t know if I could ever forgive myself if that happened. Especially because you’re my friend, and, well…”
Despite the more reasonable side of your mind not feeling ready to say it, your emotions are in full force right now, and you just blurt it out before you can stop yourself.
“I don’t know when it started, but I really wanted to tell you I love you.”
And with that, you lower your head and finally allow yourself to let out some quiet sobs as the many emotions of the past several days swamp over you: relief from knowing that Mettaton is most likely okay now, fear and sadness from the fact that he probably wouldn’t have made it if Alphys hadn’t gotten there in time, and that hard-to-describe sensation of knowing that, in the heat of the moment, you just confessed your romantic feelings towards your longtime crush. Your body and mind are just frozen like a slow computer as you try to quell this maelstrom of emotions.
It gets to the point where you can barely register it as Mettaton whispers your name and gently takes hold of your hand.
“Shh… everything’s going to be okay, darling. It was horrifying, and I was scared, too… but I feel so much better now.” A smooth thumb strokes the top of your hand as he continues. “In fact… as of late, I’ve realized that I’m in love with you, too.”
“R-really…?” You finally look up; despite your likely looking like an emotional wreck right now, Mettaton doesn’t seem to judge you for it, instead smiling.
“Absolutely, sweetheart. I’ve wanted to tell you for a little while; you’ve been such a wonderful friend to me. And knowing that you would go this far to help save my life… honestly, I’d do the same for you.”
A cheerful laugh escapes your throat; you’re not sure what to say, but you still manage a “Thank you…”
“And thank you, beautiful.”
For a few moments, neither of you are sure of what else to say amidst the glow of relief and new love, but eventually, Mettaton has a thought.
“Darling, when all of this has blown over a little more… would you, perhaps, like to go on a date with me? I can show you a few of my favorite places in town, and you can show me your favorites, if you’d like.”
“Sure.” There are still a few tears, but they come from a much happier place now. It’ll probably take a little while for everyone’s fears to disappear completely, but what’s important is that everyone is safe right now, and a potential tragedy has been averted.
Before you know it, you wrap your arms around Mettaton in a big hug, which he soon returns in kind before leaning in close to your face. He stops himself and looks into your eyes as if asking for permission, and when you smile and nod, he presses his lips to yours. It’s not the smoothest of kisses, but most first kisses typically aren’t.
Either way, you’re definitely not complaining.
You’re so lost in the kiss that you don’t hear the sound of the front door opening and closing in the other room, nor do you hear the sound of footsteps. Shortly afterwards, though, a small eep does get your attention.
The two of you break off the kiss and look towards the doorway, where Alphys is standing, still in her jogging outfit, with wide eyes.
“Oh! Uh… am I interrupting something?”
As you wave hello to Alphys, Mettaton gently smiles. “Alphys, darling, I’m so glad to see you. And don’t worry; I think everything’s going to be just fine.”
Alphys returns the smile. “Yeah… I’m so glad you’re awake. I’ll probably want to keep an eye on you for the next day or two, though. Just to make sure I didn’t miss anything.”
“That’s all right. As long as I have everyone cheering for me, I can absolutely manage this!”
You gently squeeze his hand, and he smiles at you.
After a second or two, Alphys pulls out her phone. “So, uh, want to order some pizza or something? I can shower while we wait for it to get here.”
Mettaton rests a hand on his soul casing. “Darling, I haven’t eaten in days, so that sounds absolutely perfect right now.”
“That sounds good to me too,” you say with a nod.
“Great! Let me open the app…”
As you all begin to figure out what you want, you can already picture the delicious taste of the food in your mind. Not only that, you can also picture some of the exciting, lovely things in your and Mettaton’s future… a future that you helped to secure for him.
Sometimes, even a harsh rainstorm can leave behind a beautiful rainbow.
#Thanks for asking!#anonymous#undertale#mettaton#mettaton x reader#x reader#car accident tw //#alcohol tw //
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Emergent Splendour - Not-so-little Shop of Horrors
When Granye returned to the Grand Dame’s Parlour, Alphinaud was busy putting the finishing touches on his outline. She was well aware of his talents – for the longest time she had kept one of his sketches of Thancred in her pack as a keepsake, and after a while, the one of Yugiri and Gosetsu had joined it in its safe place under their bed in the Roost. But to see him really at work, doing his best under the guise of a commission really made her realise how talented he was at portraits.
It was only once he lowered his hand and seemed to be finished that she leaned over. “Looks brilliant, Alphie.”
He jumped and craned his neck up, flashing a smile. “Ah, please, you flatter me. ‘Tis merely an sketch at this stage.” He glanced at the Chais before asking in a quieter tone. “What of your investigations?”
She shrugged. “They all seem to have ‘eir head in the clouds if ye ask me. Couldnae get a whole lot out o’ anyone, ‘cept that Vauthry ‘as some kind o’ way with the sin eaters.”
“That may explain why he’s held in such reverence by the citizenry…”
“One more thing – there’s some kind o’…rite? Ceremony? They call it Ascension. Somethin’ of a reward fer Free and Bonded alike fer a job well done.”
At that, he frowned. “…I cannot help but be reminded of that apothecary and his ominous remarks. If so many people have entered the city over the years, then where do they go? Perhaps this ‘Ascension’ has something to-”
“Hmph. I take my eye off you for one moment and you’re chattering away with that assistant of yours. Am I to assume the outline is done, then?”
They both started at Chai-Nuzz’s voice, the Mystel staring at them from behind the easel with a flat, unamused stare. Before Alphinaud could speak, he walked around it and stared at the canvas. Granye expected some praise, not for the fellow to literally step back, aghast.
“Wh-What in the blazes…!?”
“Wha’s wrong?”
Chai-Nuzz stared at her like she was an imbecile. “What do you mean ‘What’s wrong’!? It’s so…so…unflattering!” He turned his head sharply to Alphinaud. “Where is your artistic interpretation!? It should evoke images of affluence and nobility, and overwhelm the viewer with its boundless beauty! Explain yourself, Alphinaud!”
“Lord Chai – you stated that the portrait was to commemorate your anniversary. Yours being a joyous union, it seemed to me that a realistic portrayal–”
“Realistic!? I don’t want realism! I want perfection! A spectacle to slacken jaws and weaken knees! To make people cry out in amazement!” he hissed, struggling to scold the boy without drawing his wife’s attention. Dulia still remained at the table, enthralled in the layers of the slice of cake her spoon was carving through; how the gelatin glaze cut cleanly under the silverware, and the fresh cream splurged out of the shape of the slice just a little under the pressure.
Alphinaud bowed his head, fighting not to let his frown show as Chai-Nuzz shook his head.
“Now, fetch a blank canvas and–“
A shrill scream of pain tore through the Canopy, halting all its citizens and drawing heads to look up to the ceiling where it had come from.
Alphinaud and Granye shared a startled look, yet before either could ask their patron Lord and Lady what that was – and why they looked so undisturbed by it – a great trumpet blast sounded. It announced the twin red and blue jongleurs as they gaily skipped into the plaza, waving in front of the parlour to gain everyone’s attention.
“Ladies and gentlemen, your attention pleeeeease: a tale to make you quiver and your noble blood freeze! There was a villain on the loose, set to ruin our fair city –”
“-But our lord has got him now, and his fate will not be pretty! Yes, the hammer of justice is poised to come crrrashing down! And one and all who’d watch it fall are invited to join his lordship in the Offer!”
The jongleurs continued broadcast the invitation, dancing and flexing their lithe forms in synchronised gymnastic routines.
“A malcontent? How dreadful…” Dulia said dolefully, shaking her head, ears drooped slightly and she poked her cake with sudden dissatisfaction.
“This villain is to face sentencing?” Alphinaud questioned Chai-Nuzz.
The man seemed to forget the apparently distasteful outline he had been so upset over mere moments ago. “That’s right. In fact…if you’re curious, it might be worth you going along for the experience. The Offer they mentioned is part of the Emergent – the level above us where Lord Vauthry resides. Ordinarily, you would be barred from entering, but it seems they’ll be opening its doors for the next little while.” He pointed at the nearby corridor. “The Crown Lift will take you up there.”
“…We had better not dawdle then.”
He bowed to Chai-Nuzz, and Granye and Alphinaud shared another look. Though his face held a polite smile, his eyes belied the anxiety her truly felt. After what he had learned of Eulmore and its ways…what could he expect from their justice system?
“Oh, do be careful around that malcontent!” Dulia called out before they could get a step away. “I should hate to see you come to any harm.”
“We shall take the utmost of care, Lady Chai.” Alphinaud assured. His words seemed to settle her, and she happily returned to her cake, while Chai-Nuzz returned his scrutinous gaze back to the outline.
--
The Offer continued the theme that had started in the preceding downstairs hallway that led to the Crown Lift. Lush red carpet carried on, even into the lift itself. All the fixtures were gold, the flooring continuing the green marble tiles. Granye wondered where in Norvrandt such a ridiculous quantity of rare-looking stone had been quarried from.
Enormous, thick double doors greeted them, already open and packed with a throng of Eulmoran onlookers.
Granye halted, then and there, forcing the people who exited the lift behind them to skirt around her.
“Granye?” Alphinaud whispered, pushing his way back to her with a few quick apologies to those he passed between. He looked up at her urgently. “What is it?”
Her insides felt cold, and her eyes were full of fear.
“We shouldnae be here.” she whispered.
“What?”
He jumped as she grabbed one of his shoulders firmly. “We need to leave.”
He glanced toward the awaiting chamber with a tense frown, torn between heeding her panic and finally seeing Vauthry with his own eyes. “This is the first chance I’ve had to some this far, Granye. I must press on if I am to learn more of Eulmore.” He whispered urgently, imploring her.
Granye’s gut sank. Slowly, her hand slid off him. “…All right. But…seven hells, stay close, Alphie.” She begged.
He nodded and they moved forward together. Her reaction had thrown him off and raised his guard as they sidestepped and wriggled through the crowd to get a view.
When he finally saw what lay ahead – the view Granye’s height had afford here – he suddenly understood, and he had never been gladder that it had taken him so long to enter Eulmore. He wouldn’t know how to feel without Granye, mere inches away from him – without knowing he could rely upon her dauntless strength if something happened.
There were sin eaters everywhere. Some half dozen Venerys lay sprawled about the room upon fine pieces of furniture and luxurious cushions. One more powerful looking eater sat with another – a great winged and crowned white lion – stroking its nose in a languid fashion. They were calm and subdued, and he struggled to understand how.
“That’s him. That’s Vauthry!” Alphinaud whispered.
For Granye, everything about Vauthry – his room, his sin eaters – made her skin crawl. She didn’t know what she was expecting, but somehow the view…fit.
Lavish golden furnishings surrounded this man, this monument to the decadence of Eulmore. His body, swollen and rotund to excess, was garbed in fine purple silks that cascaded off his belly where he lay. Huge golden rings, each adorned with enormous sparkling gems, encircled each of his puffy fingers, with golden bracers that matched around his wrists. She noticed, however, that the rings did not constrict, and the clothes did not cling unflatteringly. Vauthry was completely at ease. Comfortable. He was not playing any games or pretending to be something he was not. She could not help but think that his head was too small for his body. The portions were all wrong, even for his size. His large blue eyes were sunken and surrounded by dark circles. Despite his evident life of ease, Granye thought they looked tired. All too big – like a baby’s eyes – but also marred heavily by a scowl. Thus far, everyone she had seen in Eulmore had looked happy, the faces unwrinkled by stress or ire.
“Mercy… Mercy…!”
Terrible pained begging pulled her from thought. As one, without checking, she and Alphinaud pushed through to the front of the crowd.
“By the Twelve!”
Alphinaud’s words failed to capture her horror at the sight. A young man – a Mystel with a blue tail – was hunched over on his knees before Eulmore’s lord. Bright crimson stained the white and gold marble floor, and not far from his right side lay a dropped bloody knife, still gleaming with fresh blood.
They both rushed forward, kneeling at the man’s side. It was only then that she recognised the Mystel as the very same Alphinaud had surrendered his pearl trading idea to.
“Kai-Shirr! What happened to you!?”
“Who are these impudent louts? I do not recall requesting their presence.”
Granye was already reaching for a bandage roll in one of her pouches as Alphinaud took to his feet and confronted Vauthry, voicing his outrage. She lifted Kai-Shirr’s head with her free hand. “Chin up, kitten, come on.” She whispered, pulling out a bandage roll. He shook all over as he struggled to meet her gaze, biting down his pain. She firmly grabbed his arm, bringing forth a scream that he tried desperately to keep clamped behind his gritted teeth. Vauthry’s thunderous voice ensured his whimpering was lost on the ears of others in the room.
“Easy, easy. I ken it hurts, but ye cannae bleed out.” She soothed. Granye quickly began to wrap the gash, pulling the wound closed tight. Small mercies the blade he had been forced to use looked clean, and not rusted. “Hold it tight, kitten.” She urged after tying the wrapping off. Her voice was almost lost under Vauthry’s mocking whine.
“’Another way’ meaning what exactly!?” Alphinaud challenged.
“Sin eaters are part of Eulmore’s society. But they must be fed with aether – living aether. So – I demanded an offering of flesh! Carved by his own hand, from his own hide.”
Granye’s head jerked up sharply. All at once shivers rolled over her, as though the shaking in Kai-Shirr’s shoulders had transferred to her as she held him up.
What?
“And still! Still! He could not do as I asked!” Vauthry furiously waved his arms, bellowing, enraged. “Wholly unsatisfactory performance!”
“Performance!?” Granye breathed, aghast.
The blood that stained the floor, her hands, Kai-Shirr’s wounds- a performance!? Surely, surely no being alive could think such a thing so much a game!? Surely-!
Kai-Shirr seemed pinned to the floor, even though his wound was bound, even though she kept trying to urge him to sit up a little. It was then that she realised what brought such an unease to her.
Alphinaud…was the only one talking back.
Granye turned slowly, horrified to see the Eulmoran citizens, in all their finery, gathered behind them and staring blankly ahead, their faces dispassionate and empty.
Where was the horror? The outrage? The fear!? They had nothing.
“The guarantee of safety and stability. The knowledge that if one only abides by the rules, one has naught to fear. I alone can offer these things, for I alone can command the sin eaters. And thus am I alone the voice of justice – and any who oppose me, villains to be punished!”
Granye felt like she was standing in a house where the furniture was all nailed to the ceiling when applause lifted from the motionless crowd, their faces suddenly aglow with praise and adoration for their twisted Lord’s speech. Vauthry thrived on the approval of his people, a smug, satisfied sneer settling on his face, pushing the fat of his cheek into a rounded lump.
“You were granted a place in my city for a particular skill. What was it?”
“…Painting.” Alphinaud responded reluctantly, almost spitting the word.
“Oho! An artiste! Then you shall paint a picture for me! Of Eulmore! If I find your art pleasing, then I may excuse this display of insolence!”
Alphinaud wordlessly turned his back and knelt on the other side of Kai-Shirr, renewing Granye’s effort to raise him up. Vauthry flailed again, incensed by the disobedience, when he finally looked down to notice the bandages on Kai-Shirr.
“Who gave you permission to tend to that criminal’s wounds!? I told you to PAINT. ME. A PICTURE!”
They lifted up the young Mystel together, getting him to his feet carefully. Granye held her arm around him still, gently asking if he could walk. Kai-Shirr nodded meekly, rattled from the ordeal. But Alphinaud did not leave in silence. He turned back to Vauthry, disgust plain on his features.
“What you need is a mirror, not a painting. It will capture the horror I see before me far better than I ever could.”
They could hear the strangled screams of fury even as they entered the lift, Kai-Shirr between them. The thunderous pounding of meaty fists on plush carpet chased them, echoing in Granye’s head all the way back down to the Derelicts themselves.
--
“Thank you… Again.”
“I’s nae trouble, kitten.” Granye gestured to Kai-Shirr’s arm. “Just make sure ye get that cleaned out an’ treated right quick.”
He glanced at it, grimacing, his ears still lowered in shame, but nodded.
“…I’ve seen enough of the world’s self-proclaimed ‘capital city’ to convince me that our battle against the sin ears will find few allies in Kholusia.” Granye looked at Alphinaud with a bitter twist upon her lips and he met her stare. “Let us return to the Crystarium. We need to regroup and think on our strategy anew.”
He turned to Kai-Shirr, apologising, and while Alphinaud exchanged words with the Mystel, Granye’s eyes fell upon the ramshackle residences that surrounded them, upon the begrimed faces of those who dwelled within.
Did they have any idea what kind of a place it was that they were so desperate to get into? Did they understand the fickle nature of the man who ruled Eulmore; he who could throw them from the balcony on a whim, or demand they carve out their very own flesh? A man who kept the company of more eaters, it seemed, than his own citizens? Surely, if they knew…surely they would seek elsewhere… Surely…
She had to hope.
No sooner had they said farewell to Kai-Shirr did a breathless, exhausted call made them look up toward the stairs, and Granye’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Alph…Alphinaud!”
The portly Lady Chai was fairly sprinting toward them, her brows arched in concern, worry on her painted face even as she huffed and puffed upon halting before them. Her husband followed skittishly in her wake, staying close but keeping his keen eyes on the shacks and their poor inhabitants that surrounded them.
“Lord and Lady Chai?”
“What in the blazes did you do!? They have the entire city looking for you!” Chai-Nuzz blurted, pointing up at Eulmore. But before anyone could get another word out, Dulia pushed forward.
“I took a peek at your unfinished portrait, Alphinaud.”
He braced for much of the same sort of critique Chai-Nuzz had given.
“I’ve had many a beautiful and striking picture painted for me, but there was something about your work… It was as if you have caught the very essence of our love, and rendered it naked upon the canvas. It was bold, unflinching…and I adored it!”
Alphinaud lifted his head, surprise plain on his face as Dulia reached forward and fervently held his hands in hers. “Please, you must come back with is and finish what you began! I will speak with Lord Vauthry, and vouch for your character! I’m sure we can smooth over any hard feelings!”
He looked at a loss for a few seconds, caught off guard by the praise, and the fact that Lady Chai looked to be on the cusp of bursting into tears, her eyes glossy and pleading.
“I…I am sorry, Lady Chai.” Alphinaud shook his head slowly. “There are more important matters to which I must attend.”
“More important? What could be more important than enjoying the days we have left to use to the fullest?” she protested earnestly.
Granye had thought the Chais a decadent, self-servient couple when she met them – Tristol’s tale had done them no favours. But in that moment, when she looked down upon the sight of Dulia clutching Alphinaud’s hands like tender eggshell, she felt as though she glimpsed the truth of them. Of Dulia, at least. She wanted them to be safe; to live the rest of their lives wanting for nothing. It was a sad, misguided display affection…but perhaps, in their positions of blissful idleness at the end of the world, it was the most she could do…
“Pray press me no further.” Alphinaud responded, his voice firm but not harsh. “We are leaving. But I would not presume to take the garments you were so kind as to procure for me. One mome-”
Dulia gasped, aghast at the words, holding his hands a little tighter as if to hug him. “I won’t hear of it! Keep the clothes, you silly boy – I insist!”
Once again, he was genuinely thrown off his guard. Granye coughed. “Sir,” she began, playing her part of assistant. “Maybe once our important work is completed…we could return to finish Lord an’ Lady Chai’s portrait? It might take some time, mind you, ma’am!” she added quickly once Dulia flashed her big, hopeful eyes up at her. “But…well, isnae completely off the table, aye?”
Alphinaud looked up at her as well, seemingly shocked by her offer. Granye shrugged slightly when Dulia looked away from her, back down to him. “Oh, nothing would make me happier! I shall keep the sketch safe, and make arrangements that you may pass through the gate without causing a stir! You simply must come and visit!”
Alphinaud could do little but offer a faint smile. “Truly, Lady Chai, your generosity knows no bounds. …You may rest assured, I will return to Eulmore.”
Dulia seemed positively delighted at his words, but the underlying tone of a far more severe promise did not escape the ears of Chai-Nuzz, and though he regarded the young man with suspicion, he was far too shackled by his timid nature to voice – let alone act upon – such thoughts.
Once she relinquished his hands, Alphinaud stepped back, and they began their walk back to Stilltide. It was only once they were well beyond Gatetown and Eulmore was once more a distant, ugly monument that blighted the skyline that Alphinaud looked back. The expression on his face was hard, but pained.
“That such corruption should be masked by such a glittering facade…and in turn, mask the genuine kindness of its people…” Alphinaud shook his head and turned from the city.
-------------
Lahabrea found himself longing – for the umpteenth time – that he had a book with him to occupy the time. Even with the currency Alphinaud had given him, nothing the Leaky Keel had on offer appealed to him – or his unsettled stomach after the amaro flight – so he settled for another mug of dirt-flavoured water and some bread.
The bread was rock hard.
He fancied he could kill someone if he threw it at their head with the right force. At least when he dipped it in the water it softened a little, and the earth taste became absorbed by the bread, turning it into a slightly more tolerable grainy flavour.
He had taken to spinning the crust – a truly inedible part of the bread he had attempted to gnaw on, and failed upon fearing for the integrity of his teeth – on the tabletop as he waited, when the doors swung open, and he looked up to finally, finally, see them once more. The boy’s face was set into a hard, determined frown, and Granye seemed slightly worried.
“Well, you two look as though you have caused sufficient enough of a ruckus.”
She smiled brightly as she set eyes on him while Alphinaud offered Theva his thanks for keeping an eye on him. “Aye! So much so that we’re leavin’. Pack up, darlin’, we’re headed back to the Crystarium.”
He nearly bolted to his feet, following her back out of the tavern, jogging down the steps in his eagerness to be free of the sun-stripped wooden walls. Granye took point as they made their way back to the beach. It was only when they were on the pebbles that Lahabrea realised he was still holding the crust of bread. He shook his head and turned around to discard it. But he was waylaid upon spying a hobgoblin in the distance.
He looked down at the crust, then back up at the distant creature. Then, pulled his arm right back, aimed, ran forward a couple of steps and flung. Lahabrea held his hand up to shield from the Light as he tried to track the projectile.
A startled, angry shriek reached his ears as the hobgoblin staggered, and Lahabrea jumped back and dropped his arms by his side, turning on his heel and sprinting to catch up with them.
“What was that?” Alphinaud asked as he reached them, the cry having caught his attention. Granye, however, was staring out over the water, away from Alphinaud’s view, biting her lip and desperately holding back a laugh.
Lahabrea cleared his throat and shook his head, expression neutral. “No idea.” He pulled his hood up quickly and pushed on toward the waiting amaro. Granye let out a loud cough, dipping her head before nodding and following. Alphinaud regarded them oddly, but didn’t press for a reason for their strangeness.
Granye mounted up first, then pulled Lahabrea up into the saddle behind her. But, as Lahabrea gripped onto her waist in preparation for the flight, he could feel her trembling from the withheld giggles.
“Look, at least now we know, if it comes down to it, bread from the Leaky Keel can, in fact, be used as a weapon.”
Granye snorted, a burst of a raspberry slipping out as she tried to keep any fits of full blown laughter at bay. She glanced over at Alphinaud and the Zun on the other amaro, nodding to them to assure that they were ready, before she answered in a hushed whisper.
“I thought it was a stick or somethin’!”
“Oh, that creature wishes it was a stick.” He muttered.
It was only once they were airborne that the pleased, dark smirk on his face faded and he fell silent in favour of holding onto Granye and pressing his face against her back, shutting his eyes.
The giggles took time to fade from her system, but it didn’t take long for her to find something else to focus on in this alien world. This time, it was the Light that pervaded every aspect of the sky around them. At first, it had been a marvel – an oddity. A creamy, glittering carpet, radiant and shining.
But now, it only irritated her. Its permanent brightness hurt her eyes, and flying high made her feel like a great pressure was bearing down on her. The motes of light that drifted past her were an unwanted distraction.
Granye decided, then and there, as Lahabrea’s grip shifted from the sides of her waist to wrapping around her middle completely, that she hated it.
——————————
<- Previous TBW | Next TBW ->
#muse; insufferable lover#muse; mister lahee#granye x lahabrea#granye#LOOK AT ME GO!! SHB STORY FOR ALL!#RIP that poor hobgoblin
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Help Wanted
Alphys was very excited about her new royal position. (The one she’d gained by lying and cheating and-) She was absolutely ecstatic to have attained her goal, even if her means had been just a bit questionable.
It was fine, right? People lied all the time. Everyone did it. Bending the truth a little to get what she wanted was nothing compared to what some people would have done. (Liar, liar, liar. Everything you have is stolen from the more deserving, if they knew they would all hate you-)
So it was fine. She was fine. No moral crises were occurring here, thank you.
Anyway.
Alphys was very excited about her new position, but with it having gone unfilled so long, she was absolutely drowning in work. While she was able to complete engineering related requests relatively easily, she was having difficulty with the ones related to magical science, especially the more theoretical ones.
She’d always found that her genius focused most easily on the practical disciplines, the ones she could visualize in her mind’s eye. She had a unique advantage in that area, in that she was easily able to imagine the schematics in her mind, rotating and adjusting them as her will dictated.
Things that relied purely on theoretical equations and ideas, though, tended to give her difficulty. She often ended up tripping over things with them, and it was hurting her performance.
So Alphys decided to hire an assistant. Someone knowledgeable in quantum physics, preferably.
--
Sans wouldn’t admit it, but he was regretting moving out of his parents’ house. He’d had all sorts of reasons for it, of course. Wanting more alone time, wanting to escape his family’s nagging, wanting to get away from his brother… (He loved Papyrus, really, he did, but his sibling was overbearing at the best of times)
His biggest reason, though, was that he wanted to prove he could make it on his own. He’d always had poor health, as a consequence of his miniscule HP, and while his family had never outright said it, he could tell that they saw him as a bit of a burden.
It was perfectly reasonable, really. He was always in and out of doctor’s offices and hospitals, trying to either heal his latest minor injury or “fix” him all together. His parents had been forced to spend large sums of money just to keep him alive, and he knew it wore on them, even if they did their best to hide it.
So he’d started working odd jobs when he was fourteen, and had amassed enough savings to get his own place by his seventeenth birthday. Not too shabby, if he did say so himself.
His apartment kinda sucked, though. It was tiny and dingy and had bedbugs by the dozen. (As a skeleton, they thankfully couldn’t hurt him) So while he was proud of being able to provide for himself, he couldn’t help but wish he’d waited until he could afford a better place. Plus, Hotland friggin’ sucked. If it weren’t for his ability to conveniently bypass the (awful, terrible, horrible) vent system, he’d have come running back home with his tail between his legs within the space of a week.
...He wasn’t really certain, whether he was happy about that or not. At least the heat didn’t bother him, since he was bereft of any internal organs that might react poorly to it. As far as climate adaptability went, he was pretty lucky to be a skeleton.
So he wasn’t really doing much with his life, in the end. Not accomplishing any lofty goals or fulfilling his personal aspirations. He was just kind of… Existing. In limbo. He had a couple jobs to pay the rent, of course, but he’d pretty much just taken what positions were available, without much regard for his own personal interests. (Which he did actually have, contrary to common belief)
When he saw the ad for a personal assistant to the new royal scientist, he found himself intrigued. He doubted he’d get the position even if he did apply, of course, since there would be so many other applicants, but the ad said that she was looking for people who were good with quantum physics especially, and, well…
Quantum physics had been Sans’ special interest for a full decade, now. The equations had always fascinated him, along with the things they could accomplish. He’d read just about every textbook and journal he’d been able to get his hands on, and written a few things himself. (Nothing published, of course. He’d just wanted to better understand the material he was working with)
If the royal scientist was looking for a quantum physicist, he might actually have half a chance at this. According to the flyer, prospective applicants could take an aptitude test a week from then. Couldn’t hurt to make the attempt, right?
Sans spent the week reviewing the scattered information he’d been able to gather on the discipline from trips to the dump and various libraries throughout the underground. He also did his best to brush up on the math involved as well. He really hoped that this test would be entirely focused on theoretical physics, because Sans couldn’t engineer his way out of a wet paper bag with a gun to his head.
When the time came, his nervousness betrayed his excitement. He really wanted this. He could barely focus on anything the whole morning, to the point where he ended up locking his keys inside his house by accident on the way out. (Thank the angel for teleportation, right?)
As Sans entered the testing venue, he spared a glance for the other hopefuls. Some looked excited, a few looked like they’d been forced to attend, but most just looked pants-wettingly terrified. Jerry was there too, for some reason. He hated that guy.
“You look a lot calmer than most of the monsters here, hon. Feeling sure of yourself?” The clerk asked him politely. Sans shook his head, saying
“nah. i’m just better at hiding it,”
“Well, I’m sure you’ll do fine, dear,” They said, smiling at him. He returned it, and went to sit down until it was time for the testing to start, feeling more jittery than Paps on caffeine.
He hoped the clerk was right.
--
Alphys was swiftly becoming aware of a problem with her plan. With each test she reviewed, it became more and more glaringly obvious that this probably wasn’t going to work as well as she’d hoped, because, apparently, there was not a single freaking monster down here who could do basic math.
Everyone had their addition and subtraction down pat, of course, the education system underground wasn’t that bad, but algebra and calculus? Complex geometry?
She might actually have to bring this up with Asgore. She’d realized, of course, that education in the underground was a bit lacking, but she’d never quite put together the equation of how few monsters were able to teach those subjects and how even fewer wanted to learn them. Not to mention the difficulty in accessing textbooks and scientific papers from the surface, which was just about the only way to get new information without having to rediscover the wheel for every little thing.
She was lucky that the royal scientist was a celebrity position, or it was possible that no one would have even applied. As it was, about a hundred monsters took the test, and she was beginning to think that if she wanted an assistant, she’d have to train them herself.
The point of this was to give her less work, not more! She had no time to play teacher for whatever kiss-up showed a bit of promise. Regardless, she was desperate, so she put the applications that showed at least a willingness to learn aside.
It was with this mindset that she opened the test from “comic sans serif font”. The lack of capitalization (on their name, of all things!) had her pessimistic from the start. She’d excuse the use of font, since she knew full well that if she was named after one, she’d never shut up about it either, but not capitalizing your own name? What possible reason could there be for something like that?
As she actually looked at what they’d answered on each question, though, she felt hope bloom in her chest. This person… actually really knew their stuff. She’d put some pretty difficult questions at various points throughout the application, and they’d answered each one thoroughly and creatively.
She put the test aside, suspecting that she had her winner.
--
Sans didn’t really expect to hear back from the royal scientist. A lot of people had applied, after all, so he doubted they could really afford the expense of sending a letter to every tester. Paper was pretty pricey underground, after all.
So when he got a letter in the mail with a return address of “the lab” he got a little excited. It didn’t mean he’d been selected, of course. It was entirely possible they’d decided to send letters to everyone who managed to clear some margin, or something.
...Or he’d done so badly they’d felt the need to ban him from ever doing science or math again, but that seemed just a bit unlikely. On that note, he sat on the edge of his mattress and opened the letter.
...
...Sans had been accepted for the position of assistant to the royal scientist, and was to go to the lab at his earliest convenience if he was still interested.
He wasn’t freaking out. He totally wasn’t. His hands were repeatedly running over the letter as if to ascertain its veracity and his grin was so wide it threatened to exit his skull entirely and run away to join the circus, but he wasn’t freaking out.
Sans grabbed his nicest outfit, which was coincidentally also the one he’d worn to testing, (a blue jacket over a miraculously unstained white shirt, and basketball shorts, let no one call him a fashionista) and set out.
--
Given that the monster Alphys had sent the letter to lived about twenty minutes from the lab, and the letter had to actually get to them before they could read it and come to accept the position, she was startled to hear a knock on the door only half an hour after the post had left.
She opened it to discover… a skeleton in a hoodie and basketball shorts, looking like they’d just won the lottery. She wasn’t sure what she’d expected from someone named after comic sans, really. Assuming that this was the applicant, of course, which she was slightly doubtful over, since, again, not enough time had elapsed since she’d sent the letter for them to arrive unless they could run at the speed of one of the cars from the surface.
“A-Are you Comic?” they visibly winced.
“yeah, but i go by sans. i find my first name’s a bit too…” they winked “comical,” Alphys narrowed her eyes. Puns? Absolutely unacceptable.
“Well, Comic, why don’t you come in?” Their eyes widened.
“please just call me sans, i’m begging you, i hate my first name so much,”
“I-If you p-promise not to make any p-puns,”
“i think i’d dust on the spot,” Alphys rolled her eyes.
“This is going to be just w-wonderful, I can tell,”
__
Part two here!
#undertale#undertale fanfiction#undertale fanfic#alphys#sans#alphys and sans#alternating pov#might write more of this at some point#edit: wrote more of this at some point#help wanted
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Wondrous Tails: Day Off (Replacement)
("Day Off" is a replacement for "Meeting the Parents." Because Alvaar's probably scared of that shit and frankly so am I.)
Time Frame: Post Canon (years after Shadowbringers(?)), No Spoilers
Notes: All characters are aged up. Mentioned poly relationship between my WoL and the twins, but nothing more.
It’s been over a month since Alvaar had last been in the Rising Stones, off on yet another Grand Adventure into who knows what that would likely end with him and a team of adventurers emerging triumphant over an enemy that was threatening the world. If Alisaie hadn’t kept meeting people corroborating his stories, she would have refused to believe the amount of ancient evils the Warrior of Light seemed to keep tripping over. It was almost as if he couldn’t go a week without kicking a rock that unleashed an ancient voidkin hellbent on genocide.
Granted, in all fairness she couldn’t fault him for his absence. Her own travels of Eorzea had only recently seen her back in Mor Dhona and was likely the only reason she wasn’t vocally irritated he hadn’t invited her along. Well, that and the obvious fatigue in his voice when she’d called him via link pearl to poke fun at him proper. He would be back soon, his exhausted voice had confirmed, and he looked forward to nothing more than sleeping in late sandwiched between his lovers in their shared room and catching up on what they’d been up to over breakfast and tea. And because he would be back on what was now tomorrow, it meant she would have her hands full today.
So she rose early per her usual, but instead of treading the worn path to her practice spot on the lake, she made straight for the kitchen long before the hired staff had arrived. Pulling a recipe tin down from one of the high shelves and flipping through numerous cards in varieties of penmanship until she found one featuring her own efficient script. Reading over the whole recipe once, and then a second time she sighed and glared at the oven and then the refrigerator before rolling up her sleeves and setting to work.
An hour later, with pastry sheets chilling in the kitchen, she made for the Aetheryte Plaza and took herself to Bentbranch Meadows before setting out South. The walk toward the Mirror was uneventful, the few monsters that wandered about freely were too docile to cause much trouble, but the weather was already comfortably warm and the skies were promising to be a beautiful day.
It was a shame her quarry would be less than agreeable it seemed, she mused as she eyed the blackberry bushes and their thorns sourly.
“... He failed to mention needing gloves for this,” she grumbled aloud before sighing and resolving to making the best of it. At least she could heal any scratches on her own she reasoned. Which was good, because over the course of the next few hours she earned herself plenty.
“Correct me if I am mistaken Alisaie but... I thought you hated blackberries?” Alphinaud asks from the side, watching her work in the kitchen of the Rising Stones late that afternoon with confused interest.
“I do,” she replies simply, continuing to spread the dark filling over cut squares of puff pastry.
“But you’re making blackberry turnovers? When you have repeatedly said you hate baking?” he continued, no less confused.
“I am.”
“... Were you perhaps going to clarify why you’ve taken a full day to make one of your least favorite baked goods, or should I just forget all about it?”
“I’ll lose track of time if you stand around gawping and asking silly questions. I’m making them because I am so if you’re not helping, don’t you have more important work to be doing?” she snipped flatly.
Raising his hands up in a placating gesture, the Scholar opted to take his leave. Even as her twin, some things his sister did he figured he would never understand.
“And the serving tower? You’re spoiling me,” Alvaar teased, settling himself into a seat at their usual table in the Rising Stones.
“Hardly. Consider it payment for whatever undoubtably grand tale you’ll have to tell. I could use a good mystery for how this one sprung up,” Alisaie replied, setting the three tower snack tray on the table while her brother brought the tea.
“You know every time you bring that tower out, I always secretly panic about what order it’s supposed to be eaten in,” Alvaar remarked. “Then I notice it’s loaded with sweets and I remember you picked it out and it doesn’t matter.”
“Rude,” she sniffed, accepting the teacup Alphinaud offered to her. “It’s too late for breakfast and too early for lunch. Did you expect a full spread? Maybe even rolling out a red carpet for your arrival oh Grand Hero of the Realm?”
Chuckling, Alvaar waved it off and accepted his cup of tea as well. “Of course not. Just happy to see you and give you shit for a change. Short lived as it is… Thank you Alphi. How have you been?”
Giving a quiet smile as he curled his fingers about his teacup, the Scholar inclined his head. “Busy as ever. Offering advice and mediating with the beast tribes to help smooth over relations among the factions. Assisting in logistics for rebuilding efforts and writing letters of introduction...”
“Paperwork. He’s either been holed up in the study or away putting people to sleep with his speeches since you left,” Alisaie cut in flatly.
Alphinaud stared at his twin sourly for a moment before he lifted his cup and asked politely, “Alisaie, how are Ga Bu and the kobolds of U’Ghamaro by the way? Have trade relations with Limsa Lominsa been worked out? That was where your latest adventure went to yes? Some monster trouble in the mines?”
A soft snort left her before she flashed him a smile. “Yes, yes, brother I hear you loud and clear. Forgive my impatience, you know I wouldn’t dream of downplaying the importance of your diplomatic efforts. But given I skipped breakfast I would very much like it if our guest would make his choice of snacks so I can be one turn closer to my own given these silly rules of etiquette you both harp on me about.”
Biting down his laughter, Alvaar took a slow sip of his tea as the pair swung into fond bickering. Glancing over the trays he raised a brow before picking a few pieces with interest.
“From the sounds of it between the pair of you the Warrior of Light will be out of work. Excellent. I wouldn’t mind an early retirement from saving the world every other year or so,” he remarked once their spat slowed while Alphinaud selected his fare. Biting into his first pick and chewing thoughtfully for a moment, Alvaar went abruptly still, eyes wide as if in a moment of revelation.
“Alvaar?” Alphinaud asked hesitantly, glancing at his twin who was suddenly back to sipping her tea and studying the trays with shrewd assessment.
“Hm?” Blinking at him, the Bard offered an awkward smile and patted the air in a flash of rings for reassurance. Swallowing and taking a quick drink of his tea he chuckled softly. “Sorry. Just... had a moment I suppose. This just seems familiar is all,” he murmured, studying his plate as he reminisced. “Rosa used to make blackberry turnovers for me when she came back from long journeys. To make up for her absence I suppose. She’d always ask me about my studies and then tell me about wherever she had been and what adventures she’d been up to... Gods, wherever you got these must use the same recipe. They’ve got it almost down pat.”
Blinking in surprise, Alphinaud stared at his sister pointedly while she carefully selected a fruit tart off the tray.
“Alisaie you should try one of these,” Alvaar chirped happily, licking crumbs off his fingers. “It’s almost spot on for that recipe I told you about.”
“No thanks. I can’t stand blackberries,” she returned politely. “I’m afraid you’ll just have to enjoy them yourself. Now, how did you say that whole ‘accidentally unleashed an ancient evil’ business went again?”
A/N:
A very long time ago before my parents divorced, I remember finding out that my Mom hates Deviled Eggs. Which I found strange because I remember her making them for almost every family event and most holidays, mostly because my Dad loves them.
It seemed silly that you would learn a recipe you hate, but I’ve asked a number of women over the years if they know a recipe they can’t stand because their SO loves it and pretty unanimously got a yes.
Affection and how women show it is a weird thing. Teaching yourself to do something you hate for someone else, just because it makes them happy. I know it’s not unique to women, but it’s always stuck with me as a prime example of it anyway.
#alisae#alisaie leveilleur#alphinaud#alphinaud leveilleur#alvaar aldaviir#wol#f14#ffxiv#final fantasy 14#wondrous tails#wondrous tails of ffxiv#fluff#established relationship#writing#mywriting#sfw#oc
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The Tea Party.
Yet another short story I wrote in the Heart and SOUL Undertale AU! Once again, it isn’t necessary to read this to understand the story of the comic… but if you’re curious about Gaster, this story will reveal a little about him that won’t come up for a while in the comic.
This story takes place between page 35 and page 36, when Sarafina was four years old, and goes over just what happened during her first real conversation with her odd grandfather.
Sarafina looked over the tea party her mother Toriel had helped set up. It was a mix of a brightly colored child’s play tea set and real, grown-up china. Obnoxiously pink plastic plates held graham crackers and orange slices, and flower-print cups waited for tea from Toriel’s second-best teapot. Sarafina reached out and gingerly touched the teapot. Still warm. Well, lukewarm. She harrumphed to herself. Mama never let her drink really hot things.
Toriel had been rather surprised when Sarafina had begged to set up her own tea party right after Frisk brought her back from Asgore’s tea. Ordinarily, Sarafina would spend hours on those Friday afternoons either grumbling about Frisk getting to sleep over at Asgore’s every other weekend without her, or moping around the house, missing her older adopted sibling and whining about being bored while refusing to actually do anything other than complain. So Toriel had brewed the tea for Sarafina without comment, simply relieved that her young daughter hadn’t kicked up her usual fuss at being separated from Frisk over the weekend.
Sarafina stretched over the tiny table and rearranged the tea cups. Again. She wiggled her loose tooth. She squirmed on the floor cushion she sat cross-legged on, getting more comfortable. She sighed, and looked up at the cat-shaped clock on the wall of her room, tail swinging back and forth, ticking away the seconds.
Big hand on the 12, small hand on the 3. She’d only be waiting 20 minutes. The little girl huffed another sigh and slouched over the table, then grumbled to herself and sat up again. Patience. Frisk had been working with their baby sister on learning patience, and she was trying. It was hard.
It was especially hard today, because Sarafina knew she could be waiting for nothing. She couldn’t be sure the Boogieman would even show up, after all.
Sarafina had seen the strange monster all her life. Her earliest memory of him was him leaning over her cradle, smiling, when she was half asleep. She had turned to face him, grinning and reaching for this new friend, but he had jerked violently away and disappeared as soon as she moved.
Since then she usually saw him at a distance, and Sarafina thought he looked… sad. Lonely. He was never with anybody, he never talked to anyone, and if there was a crowd of people, at the mall or the park, everyone ignored him. She was half afraid he would be knocked over by the rude passersby, rushing past where he stood, never even glancing in his direction. She wondered if he was homeless; people tended to ignore the homeless, and he was always wearing the same thing, no matter the weather.
Sometimes though, he would appear closer by. Outside the kitchen or at the door of her playroom. A few times in the houses where she had a play date. She had gotten into trouble for scaring the other children at daycare with stories of a monster with heavy scarring on his face appearing in their homes.
The daycare assistant had scolded her for “telling tales” about a Boogieman. She went home in frustrated tears that day, but at least she had gained a name for him.
Everybody else kept calling him her imaginary friend. At four years old, she considered herself much too grown up for something like that. She wanted to prove Miss Annie wrong; she wasn’t making up stories! And… she wanted to do something nice for the sad looking monster. She knew what it was like to feel lonely. Sarafina unfolded and refolded the paper napkins set out by the teapot. Asgore always made her tea when she visited him with Frisk -- he said it was his way of welcoming them…
There was a small… “noise” was the wrong word. If the feeling of a cold breeze brushing along your back was something that was heard rather than felt, that would be the sensation Sarafina suddenly detected behind her. Her ears pricked up excitedly. He was here.
Sarafina took a deep breath, in and out, and put on her friendliest smile. Turning quickly, she gestured to the tea. “Hello! Would you like to join me?”
Standing in the doorway to Sarafina’s room was the skeleton-like monster. He was tall, as tall as her uncle Papyrus, even standing hunched up like he was. He wore the same shapeless white sweater and black robe as always. His hands, partially hidden by those robes, were horribly mangled by holes piercing the palms. Huge cracks running up the right side of his skull and down the left side made his eyes uneven and caused his smile to look crooked. Painful.
Or he had been smiling. As soon as Sarafina started speaking, his smile turned to an expression of shock, and his entire body seemed to ripple nauseatingly as he swung away and started to fade.
Sarafina jerked forward, upsetting the empty teacups, crying out frantically. “Wait! Don’t go!” Something in the child’s voice caused the specter to hesitate. With obvious effort, he re-solidified and turned back to her uncertainly. The tiny monster-girl held out a hand toward him, bright eyes pleading. “Please stay. I promise I won’t hurt you.”
He tilted his head slightly, as if he was trying to listen to her over a great distance. Slowly, he raised a hand to tap his chest. “…sEE me… hEAr… Me?”
Sarafina mirrored him, tilting her own head as she flicked her ears back and forth, trying to catch his halting, undulating voice. Once again, the noises he made were less like sounds and more like a physical sensation twisted into something else. It felt almost like she should be reading his voice, not hearing it. Like the rest of him, his words were asymmetrical… and seemingly painful.
The question confused Sarafina. “Uh-huh. But it’s kinda like… you’re talking over one of Auntie Alphys’ old radios, mister -- ,” She stopped abruptly, realizing that calling him “Boogieman” might be rude. She turned suddenly shy. “Um, what IS your name?”
The simple question seemed to surprise him. “nAmE..?” His eyes half closed, and he appeared to struggle with the answer, as though he were dredging up a memory nearly forgotten. “gA… Gaster.”
Sarafina sat up straight and tried to put on her best manners. “Pleased to meet you Mr. Gaster! I’m Sarafina.” Picking up the upset teacups, she again invited him to join her. “I made tea… or, well, Mama did, I’m not allowed to use the stove. Would you like some?”
She carefully poured them both cups of the now cold tea as Gaster folded himself awkwardly into a seated positon across from her. He moved oddly, as if his body no longer worked in ways he was familiar with. Watching him from the corner of her eye as she poured, Sarafina was reminded of how the amalgamates Alphys worked with moved when they were feeling weak. He wasn’t an amalgamate, though, she was sure of that… but he did remind her of someone…
Sarafina sipped her tea, but Gaster simply held a hand near his cup, tilting his head side to side as if examining a strange, foreign object he didn’t quite have the courage to touch.
Sarafina studied him for a moment, thinking. “You know, up close… you look kinda like Daddy.”
Gaster’s eyes shot up to her in astonishment. His eyes, an incorporeal mirror of her own, were just like her father’s; bright lights within dark sockets. The lights dimmed slightly as his expression turned sad. “sAnS…”
Sarafina blinked her own white-on-black eyes in surprise. “You know my Daddy?”
Gaster shrank into himself slightly, sagging as he struggled to answer. “SAns… paPYruS… sonS…”
Sarafina scrunched up her nose and frowned as she tried to puzzle out what Gaster meant. “You know Unca Papyrus too? Sons? What does… OH!” She looked up at Gaster in excitement. “Are they your sons? Are you Unca Papyrus’ and Daddy’s daddy?”
Gaster nodded jerkily, moving with more animation than she had ever seen in him before.
The child’s itching curiosity finally got the better of her. “But… if you’re their daddy, why don’t you talk to Daddy? Why are you always by yourself? Do you visit Unca Papyrus? Why do you run away? Or do you teleport like Daddy? Why didn’t Mama tell me about you? Why does everyone ignore you? Are those your only clothes? What happened to your hands? Why aren’t there any pictures of you? Does Frisk know you? Why – ”
The sudden barrage of questions startled Gaster. His body rippled again, and he opened and closed his mouth a few times, but was unable to actually respond to any of the questions in the rapid-fire interrogation suddenly flung at him. Sarafina finally noticed the dumbfounded look on Gaster’s crooked face, and closed her mouth over her last question with a small snap.
Sarafina felt her cheeks heating up, and she knew she was blushing hard enough that the strange blue hue of the blush could be seen under her fur. Embarrassed, she let her gaze drop to her hands on the table top. “I’m sorry… I’m just really happy to finally meet you.”
“…iNQuiSitiVE…” Sarafina looked back up to see Gaster smiling again. “SLoweR… pLeaSe?”
Encouraged, Sarafina perked up and tried to speak more slowly. “Okay, um… why doesn’t Daddy talk about you?”
Gaster’s smile faded and his eyes dimmed again as she spoke. “MaCHine faiLEd… SanS... sO tiRed… ”
Sarafina shook her head, frowning. She didn’t understand that at all. Machine? What machine? And Daddy was tired a lot, especially in the winter; she knew it worried Mama. But Sarafina was starting to realize that speaking was terribly difficult for Gaster. She sighed.
“There are lotsa things Daddy doesn’t like talking about...” She drooped a little and started picking at the edges of a paper napkin. She had seen Sans avoid or evade certain topics, sometimes abruptly leaving in the middle of a conversation to do so. He had even done it to her, once or twice. “I guess… you’re one of the things he doesn’t wanna talk about?”
Gaster looked at her solemnly, and then nodded, eye-lights faint.
“But, you’re family; I mean, if you’re Daddy’s daddy, then you’re my grampa, right?” Another, more enthusiastic nod to that. “How come you don’t visit us? Or, you know, not just kinda hang around. Does Daddy not want you to?”
Gaster hesitated a moment, but shook his head. “… do nOT wANt… uPsEt SAns… FeW anCHorS… ManiFEstATioN… difFicuLT… ” As if saying this reminded him of that difficulty, his entire body rippled and he faded slightly. With a grimace, he re-solidified. “cAnNot… stAY lOnG…”
Once again, Gaster’s faltering explanation made no sense to Sarafina, but she became alarmed when he started to fade. “Oh no! But… I finally got to talk to you! Can’t you stay a little longer?”
The idea that the small child wanted to stay in his company seemed to surprise Gaster. He blinked his lopsided eyes at her, nonplussed.
Sarafina misread his expression and thought she had pushed too far. Her ears flattened against her head, and she dropped her gaze to her hands again. “I mean… if you want to…” Her voice grew soft “I get lonely too, sometimes… I don’t… have a lotta friends… an’ Frisk is busy lots now…”
“…WiLl tRy…” Gaster tilted his head inquiringly. “cAn… reTUrN?” He seemed uncertain of his welcome, still, but Sarafina’s face instantly lit up at the idea of her new-found grandfather returning.
“You’ll come back? Really? Yay! Okay… how about…” She thought for a moment, trying to remember how her mother scheduled the week. “How about on Tuesdays and Thursdays?” She gestured to the little tea party. “They can be ‘T’ days!”
For a heartbeat, Gaster just stared at Sarafina, and then started making a strange choking sound. Sarafina grinned as she realized he was laughing. Within the odd laugh, she could just make out Gaster saying, “sANs’… ChilD…”
Sarafina bounced up and down on the cushion excitedly. “You know what? I’ve always wanted a grandparent! This human girl Angela from my preschool is always teasing me (she’s a mean poopyhead, but I’m not supposed to call her that), but now I can tell her that I have a grampa AND he’s taller’n HER grampa…”
Gaster smiled sadly as he listened to his granddaughter’s chatter; it had been years since he had been part of a conversation, even one that was mostly one-sided. He had forgotten the simple pleasure of the company of another. Of family.
With concentrated effort, Gaster reached for the teacup in front of him.
------------------
Toriel paused by Sarafina’s door, watching her tiny daughter through the gap left open to hear if Sarafina called for her while she was doing chores around the house. Toriel smiled softly as Sarafina spoke excitedly about her day to the empty place setting across from her.
So, she had wanted the tea party for her imaginary friend. What had Sarafina called him again? Some human word… ah, yes, “Mister Boogieman”, that was it. Sarafina had told Toriel that he was always running away; she must have decided he could stay for tea and graham crackers.
Sarafina had such an active imagination. She even stopped talking from time to time, face intent and little ears flicking forward, as if she were actually listening to a reply to her dialogue.
Toriel heard the front door open; Sans must have finished the grocery shopping. She hurried to the stairwell to greet him, and bring him upstairs to watch his daughter playing so creatively. He would love to see it.
As Toriel turned away, the teacup in front of Sarafina rose shakily upwards and tilted back, the tea inside disappearing before the cup fell back to the table with a small click.
Sarafina politely offered more tea to her grandfather.
#undertale#undertale oc#undertale au#undertale story#gaster#wd gaster#sarafina#soriel child#writing#heart and SOUL extras
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@someguywearingametalmask asked: Alphyne with 18? <3
18 - A Kiss for Encouragement
(tw for suicidal thoughts, depression/anxiety, impulsive actions, and general hard/sensitive topics.)
[are u still up]
[Yea, just got home. You ok?]
[no]
[Gimme five mins and Ill be there. Lab right?]
[yea]
Alphys put her phone face-down on the work desk and wiped her eyes with the back of her trembling hand, skin cold and head throbbing. She forced out as slow a breath as she could manage, which was approximately as slow as a marathonist after a 5k run. Every part of her felt heavy, especially in her chest and in her limbs, as if they were all made of the same goopy material as the things living deep in the secret lab.
Which was where she was currently huddled, uncoincidentally. She knew things were difficult right now, as the Underground only needed collect only one more human soul before the barrier could be broken. Escape was within their grasp, a feasible goal and a foreseeable future, which under any other circumstances would have had Alphys motivated to continue her research through the many bumps in the road.
Unfortunately, though, Alphys had never been a very emotionally stable monster to begin with, let alone having to contain and manage somewhere between four and eight terrifying amalgamations she created out of the dying bodies of her kind. The weight of this secret was enough to force her to the garbage dump most days, away from her work and away from the heavy, heavy weight of her mistakes. Garbage was her element, after all. She felt like she belonged with it. Like she could be herself there.
Though after some thought, she was sure the garbage could at least manage not to accidentally kill, revive, liquefy, and congeal other monsters.
Perhaps the garbage was better off living there in Waterfall.
Alphys snapped her attention back to her lab after hearing pounding on the metal doors of her lab. She was a few floors under it at the moment, but the sheer force behind Undyne’s door knocking could be heard from anywhere. She knocked hard enough to send vibrations down the walls of the true lab, her voice almost entirely obscured, but not quite. Alphys heard Undyne scream her name twelve times or so before anything registered in her mind at all.
Wow, you’ve outdone yourself, Alphys, she thought. This is even more pathetic than usual, calling her over and then ignoring her completely.
What a worthless life you live.
Alphys couldn’t bring herself to rise out of the swiveling desk chair, not now. Her body was too heavy and her head hurt too much and everything was spinning out of control and she was stuck here like a chewed wad of gum on the underside of a school desk. Even just grasping for her phone felt like all the bones in her arm had been replaced with lead ones.
But she persisted, refusing to give up entirely just yet. Undyne didn’t deserve that. Undyne didn’t deserve to be led here for nothing, Undyne didn’t need to—
[go thru the bathroom door]
One more text…
[its an elevator]
Put down the phone. No more of that heaviness.
It’s time for a whole new heaviness, one named Guilt. Guilt likes to rear its hideous, disgusting head anytime anyone else got involved with these mistakes. These horrific failures that drove Alphys deeper and deeper into her lab and her isolation and her mind.
Because the only reason you even make mistakes in the first place is because you try too hard to make friends, isn’t it? You just want to be somebody else who lives a life where everybody loves them because they’re normal, and good, and they don’t even have to try to have lots of friends, or to fall in unconditional love, or to succeed at the one thing they’re even good at in the first place. And look at yourself now, you’re surrounded by garbage and taking care of zombies to avoid telling the truth.
You’re a failure.
Blink.
You shouldn’t have let her in.
Blink.
If you care about your future, then leave.
And don’t come back.
***
“Alphyyyyys!! Alphys, where are you!?” Undyne shouted frantically, cursing as the elevator slowly descended. She had no idea where she was going, but if Alphys wouldn’t answer her phone and this was the only lead she had, she would follow it to the other end of the entire Underground. Having known Alphys through times both thick and thin (mostly thin, she mentally noted, with a burst more anxiety), and having grown closer to her in all her dumb, nerdy glory, Undyne was extremely concerned receiving these vague and almost cryptically simple texts.
The last time she felt this worked up over Alphys was the first time they’d met, with Alphys standing on the very edge of the garbage dump waterfall, just staring into the endless abyss below, watching the trash cascade down with the dirty water. She’d never seen someone else look that hopeless before, and she’d watched humans die in front of her. It seemed…more intense in someone who wasn’t fighting for their life. It was almost like it was the opposite, really. A longing to end it, instead of a striving to protect it.
It was that thought that spurred Undyne to move a bit faster, determined to break her five-minute promise in exchange for a faster arrival.
She arrived in three and a half.
The elevator grinded noisily to a halt on the only other floor available, the basement that Undyne didn’t know existed. She supposed Alphys did need more room to do whatever sciencey stuff she did, but something this expansive (and dusty…) was unexpected. Undyne puffed out her chest and exited the elevator, filled with an intense determination to find Alphys, wherever she was in this eerie basement laboratory.
Undyne ran her hand along the wall to try and find a light switch, cursing when she couldn’t. She reluctantly decided to stick to the right-hand wall. It couldn’t lead her in circles that way, and though it would take longer, she knew it would be effective at getting her furthest into the lab. She wanted to say she wasn’t afraid of anything right now, she truly did, but she was afraid of being too late. So she kept moving, step by sticky step.
A few right turns in, her eyes only just adjusted to the dim light only assisted by the dull green glow of mounted screens, Undyne heard the unfamiliar crunch of glass under her boots. She attempted to step over it, but her efforts were in vain, as the glass continued to splinter for another few paces before Undyne could move forward a bit more stealthily. Everything save for the occasional metallic groan and her own footsteps was silent.
The floors only grew stickier, the walls too, and the bits of glass grew in quantity, along with something softer that stuck to the bottom of the soles of Undyne’s shoes. The rooms smelled of dust and something vaguely sweet, and mirrors appeared just as often as science supplies did this far in. As much as Undyne wanted to call out for Alphys, she felt it was too dangerous to do that – Alphys could get hurt if she was startled, right?
Upon removing another sticky something from the sole of her shoe – a flower petal, she discovered, how weird – Undyne took a step back to find whatever plant she’d just accidentally decimated. However, when her body shifted backwards again, it bumped into something.
Something solid.
Well, almost solid.
Undyne gasped and launched herself forwards, away from whatever’s path she’d inadvertently crossed, and summoned a magical spear. The blue light pierced through the hallway (Way to go, Undyne, she thought, you could’ve saved all this time using magic) and she was face-to-probably-face with something that was definitely not a monster. She took another quick few steps back, holding her spear out in front of her in defense, when she saw the thing shift – lurch – towards her, sputtering out a gurgled moan into the dark room.
Undyne did not hesitate to summon a circle of spears around the beast to contain it. Her reflexes victorious, the hulking being slammed into the spears, but stayed put. The noise was sure enough to alert Alphys, but if this thing was in the lab, it could also belong to her. Undyne decided running was a safer bet here, and continued following the righthand wall, spear lighting the way just enough to make out the cracked linoleum flooring. And as she ran, she began shouting again, shouting for Alphys, hoping to hear a shout back, a voice, a noise; anything at all would have relieved Undyne, but how she did find Alphys was somehow worse than anything she could have imagined.
“Alphys…” Undyne breathed out, spear slipping from her grip as she took a few careful steps forward, towards the lump in the old swivel chair, hunched over in front of five different computer screens. “Alphys, are you—”
“Stop,” Alphys responded tersely, nerves making even her strongest voice sound weak. “I-I’m sorry, but…I shouldn’t have—I shouldn’t have called you here.”
Undyne looked confused, and attempted to keep her rough voice low. “What’s that supposed to mean? There’s obviously something going on, your texts are—”
“Yeah, I-I know. My texts are a mess, I’m—nothing’s working out right now, and you don’t need to-to get involved, I’m sorry…” Alphys stumbled over her words as tears welled up in her eyes, her head resting in her folded arms upon her desk. She took a quick breath. “I freaked out, it’s just the same as always.”
Undyne walked a little closer, perhaps to try and soothe the heavy feeling in her limbs.
“Look, Alphys…if you were freaking out, then it’s gotta be coming from somewhere. And if you can’t tell me about it, then I can’t really do anything about it, right?”
“Nobody can do anything about it now,” Alphys mumbled glumly into the desk. Teardrops were balancing on the lenses of her glasses.
“Does it have to do with that thing in the lab?” Undyne asked, mentally cursing herself seconds after the question left her mouth.
Alphys nodded but said nothing. Embarrassment was radiating out like steam, eyes watering and face on fire; she was sitting here crying and wallowing in muddy self-hatred while Undyne was right there! Was this fishing for compliments? Or rather, fishing for company? Fishing for an escape from a problem that couldn’t be solved anymore? Alphys shook as she took in another breath and fought to steady herself, to make herself look anything like what one would expect from the Royal Scientist.
“This—hhhgk, this is…I’m sorry, sorry, Stars above, I—this is so bad, I-I messed up, but I can’t-I can’t do anything about it, and neither can you, and-and neither could the king, or anybody, okay…?”
Alphys swore aloud to herself and lifted herself up just enough to toss her glasses to the side of her desk and hide her face in her hands, holding her breath to try and refrain from scaring Undyne away by bursting into tears right as she walked inside. As soon as she began to spit out apologies again, though, she found herself being lifted under her arms from her desk chair and carried out of her study. Alphys didn’t move her hands from her face, didn’t move her body at all, hardly breathed until she was eventually put back down onto something soft. Even after that, she didn’t move. It was too hard to move, too hard to look, too hard to take in the world right now.
***
When Alphys awoke, she found herself in her bedroom, under the covers of her bed. She looked to her nightstand, put on her glasses, and sat slowly up. Her body ached, her face felt sticky, and it took a few moments for her to remember exactly what she was doing before she fell asleep. Though, her memory was soon jogged by the fact that Undyne’s boots were next to her door…
…attached to Undyne, who was leaning against the door, sleeping.
Alphys blinked twice before she put the pieces together and gasped sharply, quickly covering her mouth with both hands in hopes that she would not wake Undyne. However, Undyne rose almost immediately afterwards, her reflexes and instincts that of a true warrior. There was a brief moment where neither one said anything, and only stares served to convey any clarity to the other. Finally, Undyne got up, stretched both arms in the air like she was punching the sky, and walked over to Alphys’ bedside.
Still, Alphys said nothing. It was a moment where she felt immobilized in her own body, a rare moment where anxiety didn’t just mess her up, it froze her entirely. But she wasn’t afraid – she was just watching Undyne come over, sitting in her bed with a tearstained face and puffy eyes and crooked glasses, her mind perfectly still for once in her life. It felt almost freeing.
It felt especially freeing once Undyne leaned down, placed one hand on Alphys’ shoulder, and pressed her lips to Alphys’ forehead. That moment seemed to simultaneously a lifetime and a split second before Undyne pulled Alphys into a close hug, tight but gentle, and Alphys felt her hair draped over her arm, and everything suddenly came to a quietus from all stimuli. Everything disappeared, silenced, and dissipated, except for her. Except for Undyne.
Alphys felt her arms wrap around Undyne’s back and her claws dig into the fabric of Undyne’s top. Undyne whispered something she didn’t quite understand and Alphys closed her eyes. Not that it really mattered right now. Time stopped, life stopped, color stopped, stressors stopped, everything stopped. And it was perfect like that, frozen in the chronosystem, where nothing needed fixing and no one needed saving.
Alphys tightened the hug, and when she opened her eyes, they were full of hope.
#alphyne#undertale#ut alphys#ut undyne#alphys x undyne#someguywearingametalmask#maya writes stuff#this turned out a lot darker than I originally intended tbh#whoops
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Posting my extremely long youtube comment here. :)
Hey guys, lead dev Katie typing this up ! And this will be LONG but I'm going to tell you the story of this game's creation!!
Wow. WOW. What an amazing conclusion to this series and, in a way, to this whole journey we've been on since we started making the game. I actually teared up when it ended. Seeing how much this game meant to people is astounding. I'm so glad you liked it. I had so many doubts, was so worried people would hate it or think the end was too personal or something. But I'm glad that wasn't the case.
First off, round of applause for our amazing VAs:
CelestialSushi: GLaDOS, Billy, Undyne, Napstablook Citrus/David Z: Narrator/Employee #207, Papyrus
Emmykat Voices: Jenny, Mei
Jay Ikalima: Newscaster Steve, Bigby Wolf, Officer, Potato Man, Rhys
Amy: Bea
Amanda: Fran Bow
Cat: Alex
Melodiva: Baby
CasualSoul: Cliff
mr.blueandwhite: Phone Guy
KatieMarie999 (me): Newscaster Betty, the turrets, Alphys, Mae
By the way, the PAX group was Jessica, Oonagh, Cat, and me. :)
Now that there's enough in this comment to really go into detail, I can post spoilers. Well now, what did you guys think of it NOT being Anti? What's so funny is that I came up with the idea 6 days into the first Antipocalypse, so when I announced I was making a game in November of 2016, I'm sure a lot of people thought Anti would be a contributing factor. Don't worry, Sarcastic Pasta Games WILL cover his story. ;)
It all actually started with a bit of advice from my mom. She basically told me not to kick myself while I was down. See, I believed (and, in a lot of ways, still believe) that I was a failure with useless skills and talents that would never amount to anything. I thought I could never make a difference in the world. I have ADHD, so I was never a good student and had already dropped out of college once, constantly working dead end jobs that I hated and making pennies. I'm not especially organized and I struggled with the most basic tasks. The only thing I ever had going for me was creativity, which I'd always been told was pointless by general society. But I always wanted to use it to help people. To enrich their lives.
So it was that day, the day my mom gave me that advice, that I made a decision. Inspired by Toby Fox and Scott Cawthon, I wanted to make a game. And I made a promise to myself right then and there, standing in front of the house I was living in at the time, that I would make a game with a message about how everyone is valuable and not to bully yourself. Because we don't see that message enough. It's something we all need to hear. Of course, I had a grand total of zero ideas other than this vague image of someone fighting against their alternate self as the final boss.
About 2 weeks later, Jack posted his Fear of Failure One Year Later video. I'd been in the community since that January, so I hadn't seen the first video, but of course I watched it because by that point, I had come to love the channel silently (I wasn't active in the community at the time). And it hit me. Right then and there. It was perfect; Jack had self doubts about himself and I knew that, on some level, there are 2 sides to him: the one on the channel and the one in his personal life. So immediately, this game's ending sprang into my head. Jack vs. Sean.
Bear in mind, the community was on FIRE during this time. It was October 2016. Anti was making his first appearances on the channel. But while you were all freaking out, I was telling myself "well, this idea is nice and all but I'd never be able to actually do it. What do I know about game making? I could never make this game." I bombarded my sister and Jessica (assistant everything) with new ideas for it. Until finally, probably tired of me talking about it, they told me that if this game idea was really that stuck in my mind, I should actually DO it. I should take that first step and find some people willing to help.
So I did. November 11th, 2016. I posted a call for help in the Jacksepticeye tag. And Novmeber 12th, 2016 was the day we officially began development. It's worth noting that Jessica, Alina, and I are the only people who were there for the entire development process. But it was such an amazing process! I want to point out that it was Amy's polishing of my original idea that turned the whole Sean section into what it was. She helped me write it; we spent 4 or 5 hours one evening just coming up with every single aspect of the battle and writing the dialogue. I'm sorry if some of it wasn't accurate, but we didn't know exactly what you were going through, Sean, so we couldn't say for sure. I'm glad a lot of it was accurate though.
In one of the areas of the gallery, there's a place you can find all our production flubs. Some bugs we ran into while testing and goofy things we did to amuse ourselves. It's a shame Jack didn't see it because that was a lot of fun! We kept such a good sense of humor while making the game. 2017 turned into one of the most emotionally taxing years of my life. The community, and the team, was there for me. They kept me from going to a dark place. I always had this game, this beautiful project I had started and had come to love so much (Jack is right, this game absolutely was my baby; I've even said that a few times) to keep me going even as I was facing a lot of real life adversity. The first person ever to play the demo and eventually the real game was KittyCatThang, who volunteered and became one of my best friends. Her let's play is on theawkwardandthegraceful and it's a LOT of fun to watch because she actually knew a bunch of the people on the team but we wouldn't tell her any secrets so we got some awesome, very genuine reactions. She yells at me a few times, it's hilarious. Love you, Cat!
Jessica had been one of my best friends since March of 2016, when we met on an Undyrus DeviantArt group (we met Lundy Lawrence there too, she did some Cliff fan art at the end). Told you the Undyrus community was amazing. They all found out what we were doing and supported us, even though most of them had no idea who the heck Jacksepticeye was. And Lundy, the aforementioned Undyrus fan, actually started watching your videos as a result! Anyway, onto Jessica, she was so reluctant to help but once production had gone through, she had come to love this game. Jessica, I love you and words cannot express how thankful I am that you helped me so much with this game.
Honestly, the whole team is just... they are some of the best people you'll ever meet. They made my dream game come true. And the fact that you all love it is a testament to how encouraging this community really is. I never would have found them without it. And those words at the end, with Jack talking right to the player, it's your name in that section. If you play the game, Jack is saying all that to you. And I genuinely believe every word of it. You are amazing and you are capable of incredible things.
I'm not some professional writer or voice actor or game developer. I'm someone with a passion and a drive to make a game. I poured a lot of my personality into this project and it's better than I ever dreamed it'd be. I'm just a straight C student from Maryland with horrible ADHD who got inspired to make a game. And if I could do this, you can do anything. It just takes a really strong passion. Really, I'm not special at all. I just found the right group of people through the channel of an Irish dork. I'd never made a game before. And yes, I'd been writing stories since I could write, so naturally the writing aspect came a lot easier to me (as I'd been writing stories for 18 or 19 years by that point) but we all have gifts and talents.
I leave you all with this, a quote from The Lego Movie, which was a contributing factor in the inspiration for this game and one of my favorite movies of all time: "You are the most talented, most interesting, and most extraordinary person in the universe. And you are capable of amazing things. Because you are the Special. And so am I. And so is everyone."
That's what this game is about. No go and find your special gift, no matter what it is. I can't wait to see the incredible things you all do. Thank you for joining us on this journey and we hope to see you (Jack, that mean you too) in Glitch in the System and our other future games.
Our Twitter is @Sarcastic_Pasta and we're on Patreon. Our fan games will always be free to play and we're so excited for the next one. And subscribe to this youtube channel if you want to see our trailers, as we'll be posting them here (in addition to a pretty sweet Undertale musical). And keep an eye out for the demo for Glitch in the System!
Again, thank you so much. We really appreciate every single one of you.
~Katie
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A funny fic prompt, miss writer goddess: As the WoL finishes her bath in the inn at Ishgard, she notices a certain cantankerous cat running out of her inn room’s window and out into the streets of Foundation with not only her wallet, but her underwear. And as luck would have it, while she chases the cat, runs into her closest elezen friends.
Tah dah. Here we are! I hope you like this one! I was unsure what Elezen friends you meant, so I just did most of them. XD Another (almost) harem? Lucky WoL. Everybody wants her. ❤
- - -
You are too late to stop the cat. In the midst of drying off, a towel twisted around your head, when you happen to glance up.
Ah..! Aymeric’s cat?
What did it have in it’s mouth…?
Your eyes flick to the sink where you had left your effects, to dawning horror as you find your wallet and underwear to be missing from where you had last piled them on top.
You scrambled forward to stop it, but the cat only growls at you with a full mouth - eyes glinting devilishly in the warm light of the bath, and presses a paw against the window. The window swings open with a burst of freezing snowy air - and the cat jumps out.
You don’t waste time getting dressed. The more you dally the farther away the cat would get! So you throw your coat on over a towel to cover your body and stomp into your boots.
You don’t take the door. Just like the cat, you climb up and jump through the window. You land in a crouch, your knees protesting the sudden impact. You were already tired, and here you are chasing after a stealing cat!
You spot the cat after a brief look about. It turns to look at you in a startle as you call out to it, ears flattening with its answering growl.
“Hey, thieving cat! C'mere, kitty! Give the nice adventurer her stuff back, won’t you?” You try to keep your voice soothing and sweet, but holy shite! It was bloody freezing out here and you were still a little damp!
The cat snarls at you with an overfull mouth, tail flicking with agitation.
You step forward, so very slowy in the hopes that the cat will stay put. Gods, you’re thankful there’s no one around right now to see this shameful display!
The cat looks at you with wide eyes - and you know what it is about to do.
You extend your hand, pleading with wide, desperate eyes, “No, kitty! Don’t-!”
The cat bolts.
Your hand falls, a shiver racing through you from the chill of the air as the cat practically vanishes in thin air. “Ah….!”
You sit for a moment in the freezing cold. Feeling sorry for yourself. Could you not have a moment of peace? All you had wanted was a relaxing bath! To soothe your aches, pains, and stress away! Was this some form of punishment for crimes in a past life?
Then anger fills you. “Blast you, stupid cat! I’m telling Aymeric! You’re gonna be in *so* much *trouble*!”
You pull your coat tighter around you, hoping your towel doesn’t slip, and start forward to look for the cat again.
- - -
You’ve been looking for quite a while with no sign of the cat. You’re so very cold now that you’re skin feels almost hot. You can hardly feel your fingers.
Gods, could this get any worse?!
You turn a corner - and yes, it could - for there stood the four elezen men you had hoped not to run into looking like this. The stares from the city folk that spotted had been quite enough, thank you. There were sure to be unflattering rumors spread about you on the morrow. These Ishgardians *loved* their gossip.
Alphinaud spots you first. His eyes widening at the sight you must make, shivering and ill dressed for the cold.
“By the Twelve!” Alphinaud gasps, wrestling out of his coat as he runs up to you with the other three close behind.
“My dear friend!” Haurchefant exclaims with shock, struggling out of his own coat at the sight of your bare legs and thin coat. “What has happened?”
Aymeric is not far behind, frowning with concern as he questions you as well. “Yes, pray tell. Why are you dressed so in such weather?”
It all happens so fast, you hardly have time to answer their questions when suddenly you have three overcoats being shoved at you at once.
“It was your cat, Aymeric,” You try to explain, as three elezen swarm you at once in their protective need to shield you from the cold.
“Mine cat? Ah, not again! That thieving devil… Stole something of yours, did they?” Aymeric smiles apologetically.
You sigh, “Yes. Mine wallet, and,” You clear your throat, eyes flickering between their expectant faces. From Aymeric, to Haurchefant, and then Alphinaud. Must you really say it? Yes, yes. The cat stole mine underwear, will you handsome gentleman go and get them back for me?
Estinien snorts, “Stole your underwear, did it not? You needn’t feel embarrassed, that cat has a track record of this kind of thievery.”
You look to Estinien, who is not wearing a coat at all. Thankful that your cheeks are already flushed from the cold so that the other three need not know how embarrassed you are.
He shrugs and gestures to his finely tailored shirt, “I would offer mine shirt, but the last time I took it off in the cold - Aymeric scolded me like a disobedient child.”
Aymeric huffs, twisting his head to glance at Estinien with a disapproving frown, “I care not how much body heat you give off, Estinien! You do not walk around shiftless in the cold!”
Estinien folds his arms defensively, “I’ll do what I want with mine own body!”
Aymeric groans, “Enough, you stubborn Dragoon! Help our friend find mine cat, won’t you? Can you manage that without taking your shirt off?”
Estinien straightens up with a haughty sniff, “I will assist in this venture, but not because you command me, Lord Commander!” He unclips his polearm from his back, lowers into a crouch, and then jumps away to look for the cat who had stolen your wallet and underwear.
You share a look with Alphinaud, the both of you fighting an amused smile. Then a full body shiver overtakes you and you turn your head away in a loud, violent sneeze.
Haurchefant helps you into one coat after another. Three layers of warm fabric shielding you from the cold weather. You feel like a cold weather Apcallu with the way it forces your arms out. Your upper body begins to warm, but your legs are so very cold.
“You’ll catch your death out here,” Haurchefant says with a concerned frown, his hands massaging at your cold stiff fingers.
Alphinaud tugs his gloves off with his teeth, shooting Haurchefant a look. “Here, take mine gloves! They should fit you just fine!” He pulls one of your hands from Haurchefant’s grasp, tugging his glove over your fingers.
“Ah,” You murmur, curling your fingers in the sudden heat the gloves provided. “You’re so warm, Alphinaud!”
Alphinaud ducks his head with a smile and covers your other hand, his elegant fingers rubbing at your now gloved hands briskly.
You glance at Haurchefant as he squeezes your shoulders, smiling at you with his signature grin. “Estinien is an expert at finding Aymeric’s cat,” Haurchefant tells you.
Aymeric sighs, “Indeed. An excellent tracker besides, it seems Estinien and mine cat share a love for high places. I have no doubt you’ll be reunited with your missing, ah, items.. in no time at all!”
Alphinaud squeezes your hands, rolling his eyes with that brand of Leveilleur sass as he says, “All well and good, my lords. Yet what use will they be to mine Warrior of Light if she catches her death out here? Can we not move this conversation indoors?”
- - -
You end up in De Borel manor. Spread across the most comfortable couch with elzen men fretting over you. It was almost enough to make a lady swoon. Thankfully, you’re already practically laying down.
Aymeric had kindly provided a change of clothes for you. His cheeks flushing a delightful shade of pink as he informed you, to his deepest apologies, that he had no small clothes to offer you. He was not *that* prepared, after all.
You had thanked him anyway. The soft trousers he had given you more than enough to gift you some of your dignity back.
Alphinaud had produced an extra pair of warm, woolen socks from somewhere. Pulling your frozen feet into his lap to slide them on for you. You had expected him to get up after that - not for him curl an arm over your legs and to rub the feeling back into your toes!
Haurchefant had taken a seat just behind you, a pillow on his lap to place your head as he dries your hair with a towel and pulls a brush through the cold, tangled bits.
You stare up at the ceiling with an almost drunken blissful smile. It had started off rather horribly, but could your night get any better?
Aymeric enters the room with a trayful of steaming mugs. Smiling at you ever so sweetly as he sets the tray aside and places a warm mug in your hands.
“Just how you like it,” Aymeric says before you have the chance to ask.
Your answering smile must be truly goofy for the way Aymeric laughs in response.
“Feeling better, I hope?” Aymeric smiles.
You lean back into Haurchefant and wiggle your toes in Alphinaud’s grip.
“I feel positively pampered. You all are far to kind, I’m afraid. A lady could get used to this.”
Haurchefant hums, leaning forward to press a kiss to your head. You feel your face flush. Alphinaud’s hands tighten on your feet, his sharp eyes narrowing at the actions of the other lord.
He presses his thumb into the arch of your foot and you cannot withhold your answering moan.
“Ohh, Alphi!” You groan. “How many hidden talents do you have?”
Alphinaud is smug, rosy lips pulling up into a smirk. “Many, I assure you.”
Your toes curl as he does it again. “Ughh, your hands are magic.”
Alphinaud puffs up with such pride that you cannot help your tiny laugh in response. He was just so cute.
There’s a bang against the door and you all look up. Aymeric sets his own mug aside to answer it. “That would be Estinien, I imagine.”
It is Estinien, of course. He’s flushed red from the cold, hair mussed from activity and wind. His face covered in scratches from angry cat claws.
“Take your beast!” Estinien snarls, shoving a fluffed up, hissing and growling cat into into Aymeric’s arms.
Aymeric clucks his tongue, “Ah, my cantankerous kitty. Estinien caught you again, did he?”
Estinien makes his way to where you are spread across the couch. Eyeing the other two elezen as he bends over you with his findings.
“Here,” He grumbles, grasping your empty hand and placing your wallet and stolen underwear into the palm of your hand.
“Estinien!” You breathe with grateful delight, “You did it!”
Estinien huffs, his thumb stroking feather light over the veins of your wrist. “Of course I did.”
You tip the lost then found items into your lap, reaching up with a smile to grasp at the collar of Estinien’s shirt. You pull him down, Estinien letting you in his surprise, and press a kiss next to a scratch on his cheek. “Thank you, Estinien. You’re my hero.”
Estinien pulls away with a rough, embarrassed cough. “It was.. no bother,” he mumbles, touching his cheek where you had kissed him.
You look up at the sudden hush that falls over the room. Your eyes flickering between the odd smiles on Alphinaud and Aymeric’s faces, what with Haurchefant being behind you.
Estinien notices it as well, “Ah… Well then.” You startle as he jumps behind the couch, stepping over the back and onto the cushions. “Hold your legs up, will you? If I’m to be murderered later, I might as well enjoy myself.”
You blink at that, bending your knees so Estinien can slip under you on the couch. His lap another cushion for your legs. His hands moving to caress the soft fabric of the trousers Aymeric had lent you.
“Who would murder you, Estinien?” You ask, smiling at the overwhelming warmth he gave off. He had been right, he was so very warm that you felt almost toasty with all this borrowed body heat.
Estinien glances at you and smirks. “Your almost lovers, of course.”
And wasn’t that an odd statement.
You do not dwell on it for long. Eyes fluttering shut in bliss as Haurchefant continues to brush your hair. With Alphinaud’s magic hands massaging your feet. Cradling the warm mug Aymeric had given you between your fingers. The mindless stroking of Estinien’s hands on your legs.
You never want this night to end
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