Tumgik
#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place
megumi-fm · 16 days
Text
.
#okay random story time i don't know why im narrating this or how i even stumbled upon this memory rn#but i generally do sad vents in the tags and for a change this is a funny one#so back in highschool (i say highschool but i mean junior college) i used to visit this park near my house a lot#i was an sg kid back then and the thing about parks there is that they're kinda beach-parks and they have the best cycling/running tracks#they're also really massive parks so i used to go often. sometimes bicycling. other times walking. yeah. the park was like my sanctuary#anyway. there are quite a few bike rental areas in the park and there was a cute lil shop next to this one particular rental place#and they sold like biscuits and water and icecreams and stuff and i went there a lot#and on one particular day i went there and there was this guy around my age part timing at that shop#now again this might be culture specific bc i dont see it in india but part timing in uni/pre-uni is pretty common is sg#a lot of shops and restaurants employ teenagers to twenty something ppl for part time jobs... anyway im just adding context#point is that i had walked to the park with my mum that day and she told me to go buy a couple icecreams so i went to the shop#and i saw this guy around my age and like. not to be a simp but this dude was so pretty?#like he saw someone had come to the counter so he looked up and shot a smile and i thought i got slapped by sunlight#i could spend the next several lines going on about his pretty tan skin and his glowing raven eyes but this is pathetic enough so ill stop#anyway he saw me and smiled really wide (customer service smile- i thought to myself) and i smiled back and asked for icecreams or whatever#and then this guy started getting chatty right. so he was all 'you come here (to the park) often right? ive seen you with your bike a lot'#see now. the problem with me is that i always think im bothering people. this poor dude was attempting to make conversation#and i was replying with one word answers#and i wasn't even realizing that he didnt want that. bc he kept asking more questions and i. kept. shutting them down.#then when he gave me the icecream he was all 'are you here alone? icecream alone is no fun... i could keep you company if you want..?'#which. he was being really cute about right. but because im so fucking dense i was all 'oh no i came with my mom actually'#and he went 'aw man' in this really cute but faux sad way which i didnt understand at the time and i left and then#after three full fucking days. i realized this man was tryna hit on me?#and then i went to the park like a week later and he was gone. poof. i even thought of asking the uncle in charge of that place#then i got too embarrassed and chickened out#yeah so turns out my neurodivergence neutralizes any sort of rizz that comes my way#i could've been chilling with a cute boyf rn but no😩 this is my destiny#megumi in the tags
26 notes · View notes
stevebabey · 10 months
Text
totally didn’t expect the other part to do well at all but 😳 apparently i don’t know steddie fans. as such, have a part two <3 part one is here again, look out for the borrowed hunger games lines
“You’ve ruined your life, you know that, right?”
The kitchen had been basking in the lull of the quiet morning before Eddie had spoken up, breaking the silence. Steve blinks, realising he’s been zoned out staring at the swirling bubbles atop his mug of coffee and look up at Eddie across the table.
“Doing what you did.” Eddie continues. There’s this slight in his voice. Steve figures it’s not really aimed at him.
Chief Powell had agreed to not release the details of the case to the public for obvious reason. However, it went without saying that of the cops working the case, not all would be so free-thinking. There were plenty who deemed leaking the alibi and letting the town devour Steve’s reputation a more than fair consequence.
And, well, Eddie didn’t have any reputation left to tarnish or save.
Steve takes a sip of his coffee and lets the warm flavour coat his tastebuds as he tries to puts his thoughts in the right order.
He knows how Eddie sees this— sees it as this burden that he’s imposed on Steve’s life. That he had been able to accept it at first, the whispers of freedom tempting enough that he could be selfish enough to gasp them.
Then yesterday afternoon, Steve had come back from Bradley’s Big Buy with dried yolks splattered across the windscreen and regret howled through Eddie like a hurricane, fierce and wild. Realisation of what Steve had condemned himself to— no- what Eddie had condemned him to finally sunk in.
Steve can tell he’s been stewing on it all night. In the couple weeks he’s been here, staying in under the Harrington roof just down the hall from Steve, he’s surprised by how easily his brain has tacked on to Eddie’s habits. His little Eddie-ism’s. That’s what Steve calls them.
Like how Eddie’s nose will twitch if there’s something on his plate he doesn’t like, but he’s too polite to say it.
How he thumbs up and down the edge of a book when he’s reading, completely entranced. Doesn’t even notice his moving, twittering fingers.
How he’s always so much twitchier the morning after a sleep laced with terror after terror. It gives him away before Steve even see the bags under his eyes, the hollowness of his face.
Steve recognises that one from himself, from back when he’d gone through it all for the first time. The flinch is unshakeable when you’re convinced it’s all going to come back— that the world is going to tear itself up and spit out monsters you haven’t even dreamed of.
Today, Eddie isn’t twitchy like that. He’s tired, a sunken in face that comes from a bone-deep aching tiredness. He picks at his breakfast, bitterly avoiding the eggs on his plate.
And Steve can’t pretend to understand how Eddie grew up — can take his guesses but ultimately won’t get near the experiences he knows Eddie has lived through. Steve has only ever been on the other side. Stayed silent while someone else through snide comments and used the word fag like a jagged blade, to cut someone down.
So, he doesn’t know. Not even a year with Robin as his best friend and all her knowledge could’ve prepared Steve for the startling fear he’d felt when coming out of the store to the sight of a group of boys around his car, cartons of eggs in hand. One with a crowbar.
They would’ve smashed his windows if he had come out a minute later, he’s sure of it.
It had been like getting doused in icy water — the Letterman jackets on all of them, the sneers, still jeering taunts as they’d scattered across the parking lot. Steve had felt the bile rise in his throat as he got in the car and sat, staring at the steering wheel, his slimy fear melting and mixing with his anger.
Eddie’s point of view suddenly resounded within Steve in a way he hadn’t known before. Standing on tables, hollering about conformity, leaning in to every foul rumour about him— like a person drawing to full height, making himself as big as possible, to scare off a bear.
Steve gets that a little more now.
So, when Eddie tells him you’ve ruined your life he knows what he’s trying to tell him. Except, Steve doesn’t know how to say lightly that he’d gladly ruin his life to save Eddie’s. It’s too much — but Steve always is. Always loves in these big heavy ways that are too hard to handle.
So instead, he shrugs and says, “Consider it a trade.”
Eddie cocks his head, like a dog, just an inch.
“For following me into the lake and saving my life.”
Eddie scoffs and his head lolls back dramatically like what Steve’s said is ridiculous. “Jesus H Christ, dude, you saved yourself. I told you that I would’ve been too cowardly to come after you if Birdie and Wheeler hadn’t gone in first.”
He mutters the word cowardly with a hiss.
“Well then, a trade for drawing the bats away.”
“You mean the time I nearly became hamburger helper for the bats?”
“Christ, Eddie,” Steve scoffs. “I didn’t take you as someone who fished for compliments so hard.”
Eddie frowns, dropping his fork with a clatter on his plate. “I— what? I’m not- I don’t even—”
Steve cuts in. “You helped us and you saved my life, whether your horrible little brain can admit that or not. So,” He sits back in his chair with another little shrug and sips his coffee. “Equal trade.”
Eddie frowns, a crease forming between his brows. “No, not equal, Steve. You don’t get what you’ve done you— ugh, you just don’t—”
He huffs, cutting himself off, clearly unsure of how to voice his frustrations. He slumps back in his chair and eyes the eggs on his plate again with a glare this time.
Steve waits a moment and hopes he isn’t overstepping when he says, voice quiet, “I know, Eddie.”
Across the table, Eddie’s eyes raise to meet Steve’s and he doesn’t sound smug, he doesn’t sound angry, he just sounds defeated when he speaks.
“Do you?”
“Maybe not quite the extent of it until yesterday but, yes… I know.”
His words sink it and Eddie looks… affronted. His eyes get a little wide and a tremble finds his lips. Like the whole time he’d been convinced Steve wasn’t sure what he’d been getting into, that the reality hadn’t set in— that any moment he would rescind his alibi and throw Eddie to the cops and let them snap the cuffs back on him.
Steve hates that expression. Loathes that Eddie is so surprised that anyone would do this for him — something as important as keeping him alive and out of prison. Steve hates it because he knows it means that somewhere along the way, somebody had convinced Eddie that nobody would.
So, if he’s got to be the one to convince Eddie that someone will— that he will make the effort, will put his neck on the line because… well, isn’t that what Steve does best?
He’ll do it gladly.
Eddie picks up his fork and stabs his fork into the egg, the buttery yolk spilling onto the plate. Steve takes it as a truce, as him meeting him in the middle.
"So,” Steve swirls the mug in his hand and swills another sip back. Swallows it and takes a page out of Eddie’s book and goes the joke, leaning forward, forearms on the table. “If I’m gonna be your boyfriend for the foreseeable future I should probably know more stuff about you. Y’know, like, uh, the deep stuff.”
Eddie’s sunk back down in his seats but at Steve’s final sentence, he perks up. A smirking sort of grin crossing his face and Eddie twists a piece of his hair in front of his mouth. He hasn’t kept eating yet, too focused on the conversation.
"Uh-oh, the deep stuff.” He’s got that teasing tone in his voice. “Like what?"
"Like...” Steve scrambles to pull something from his brain. “Um, what’s your favourite colour?"
“Oh well, now you've stepped over the line."
Eddie’s sarcasm melts into a chuckle as Steve laughs, ducking his head instinctively. When he lifts his gaze, he’s relieved that Eddie looks a little lighter. Not much but a smidge of difference — Steve can see it if he squints. He’s sure it won’t be the last conversation they’ll have about this but for now, it’s settled.
Curiosity piques in Steve and he tries to sound casual when he says, “No, really, what is it?”
Eddie blinks and curls his hair around his finger once more, tugging it lightly. He seems to be considering his answer, eyes dropping to the sweater Steve’s donning.
“Yellow.” He finally says. “Not mustard but, y’know, lighter. Colour of the moon on Halloween or…”
“Cheese?” Steve suggests.
Eddie laughs. “Yeah, the right kind of cheese, sure. What about you? Favourite colour?”
Steve considers it — for the longest time, it had been red because Tommy had told him that red or blue were the coolest colours to like, way back in third grade. No one has asked him since then.
“Pink, actually.” Steve admits, hand coming up to brush across his nose, trying to hide behind the motion. He envies Eddie’s long curls suddenly. He feels the need to explain, more words rolling off his tongue. “Like, y’know, when the sun starts to set, like all dusky, it’s just… nice.”
Eddie’s staring at him peculiarly, his lips parted yet quirked up in this faint smile. If Steve didn’t know any better, he’d call it awe. Breaking his stare, Eddie chuckles again, finally properly picking his fork up to finish his meal.
“Steve Harrington.” He murmurs warmly, more to himself. His lips twitch with a smile. “You just keep surprising me.”
some people wanted more 🤲 uh get tagged idiot - normally i don’t do taglists but u were all so kind as to reply to the post & i didn’t get a chance to say thank u for ur lovely words! this is my thank u! have sum more!
@friendlyorange @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @lostinadmiration @life-love-musicaltheatre @oldlovershippiemusic5 @phoeniceae @catateme9 @lolawonsstuff @justagaypanda @pluto-pepsi @whoopstie @scenesofobx @justforthedead89 @musical-theatre-gay @theperksofbeingstjimmy @ikilledabuginthewall @imauselessartist @fridgebaby @lingeringmirth and uhhh @corrodedcoughin cos i still do a little squeal when u rb my tings even tho we’re mewchies :D
2K notes · View notes
roosterforme · 2 months
Text
The Younger Kind Part 55 | Rooster x Reader
Summary: Bradley can't get enough of the adrenaline rush that is accompanying his special mission, but he has reached the point where the excitement doesn't outweigh his desire to return home. Every day feels the same for you, until one of them starts to feel much worse.
Warnings: mentions of blood, pregnancy topics, potential pregnancy complications, swearing, angst, fluff, and age gap (18+)
Length: 4300 words
Pairing: Single dad!Bradley "Rooster" Bradshaw x babysitter!female reader
Check out my masterlist for more! The Younger Kind masterlist.
Tumblr media
Every day was the same now. Every morning started out with a hopeful feeling in your chest. Your engagement ring was still noticeable on your finger, although you figured that would fade with time as it became a permanent fixture. At first, you woke up to the delicious feeling of being pregnant and engaged to Bradley, but when you rolled over to reach for him, the rest of the bed was cold. The covers were untouched. His pillow was still in the exact same place you left it when you made the bed yesterday.
Tears stung at your eyes. You knew exactly how many days he had been gone, because the updated number was practically all you could think about. The days had become a week. Then two. And now that hopeful feeling was starting to vanish only to be replaced by dread almost immediately after you cracked your eyes open.
You whispered, "I miss you," and climbed out of bed without even looking at the vacant side now. You started to dress in your scrubs without a smile on your face, and then you went into the bathroom which was completely silent. You thought that if you just had an inkling, the barest idea of when Bradley might be returning, you'd feel much better, but you had no clue.
You and Noah had only had one brief conversation with him over the phone. The connection had been pretty bad, and you knew someone was sitting right there with him monitoring every single word. He'd told you that much before his personal phone had been taken away from him the day he arrived. You had to pause as you put toothpaste on your toothbrush, because the tears were going to start if you didn't get yourself under control. 
Bradley had hung up a few post-it notes around the house for you and Noah to find. Most of them were reminders of how much he loved you, but the one on the bathroom mirror took your breath away every time you saw it. It said April 25th with a heart around it. And above that'd, he'd drawn a crown. The fact that you had no idea how much of your pregnancy he was going to miss threw you off every single time. You ran your fingers over the note, but you didn't move it.
"Mommy?" Noah called out, and you heard him jump down from his bed. It was so obvious how much he missed his dad; he was extra clingy with you right now, even shedding a few tears now when you tried to drop him off before you went to work each day.
"I'm in the bathroom," you called out as best you could with your toothbrush still in your mouth. You opened the door so he could come in with you, and he immediately wrapped his arms around your thigh.
"Is it daycare today?"
You spit out the toothpaste and rinsed your mouth. "Yes, Sweet Noah. You have daycare today."
"I want to go to the park with you and Daddy."
That sounded so perfect, you wanted to scream. "As soon as Daddy comes home, we can all spend a whole day at the park. But not today." You didn't even want to tell him that you had to work an extra hour and a half and as a result would be picking him up later than usual. You agreed to cover some extra shifts all week long even though you were tired enough that you'd been passing out in bed right after Noah went to sleep each night. 
When he sniffed and looked up at you with watery eyes, you could barely handle it. Bradley had been gone for less than three weeks, but you were already getting a little desperate. You knew you would feel like a failure if you reached out for help at this point, even though Natasha and Penny had both been texting with you to check in. Bradley even had Tracy emailing you in case you needed anything, and you couldn't decide whether you had to make more friends to get him off your back or simply be appreciative that he cared enough to set things up.
"I know," you whispered to Noah, running your fingers through his soft curls. "But we can make ants on logs later. And we can take Skittles for a nice walk." When you said her name, the pup appeared in the bathroom doorway, her brown eyes also a little sad without her favorite person at home.
"I'm hungry," Noah murmured against your scrub pants. You bent to scoop him up into your arms and carried him to the kitchen where you got breakfast ready for everyone. It was going to be a long day for you, and you'd been so wrapped up in your feelings, you almost forgot you were going to have to see Casey. 
You groaned at the thought of her, and you immediately lost your appetite and scraped your eggs into the dish on the floor for Skittles to enjoy. After you packed yourself a lunch and got Noah ready, you realized you were kind of running late. Everything felt ten times harder when you had to do it all yourself. 
"I don't know how Bradley managed," you whispered as you zipped down the block in your car. A soft smile played at your lips as you thought back to how adorably hopeless he had been when you first met him. He hadn't eaten a good meal in probably months before you started babysitting Noah for him. At least he could cook a little bit now, even if he still couldn't figure out how to use his phone. 
When you took Noah inside his daycare, Casey's eyes were immediately glued to your ring as it shone in the sunlight. She slid the clipboard to you and watched you sign Noah in while you held his hand. Then you knelt down and kissed his cheek and whispered, "I'll pick you up later. I love you."
He smiled, and then you let Casey walk him inside. You stood there long enough to make sure he started to hang up his bag like you always did, and when she walked back out into the lobby, she was smirking. "Did Bradley leave you? He hasn't been here in weeks."
You rolled your eyes as you said, "He's deployed. We've been over this before."
She held up her hands in mock surrender. "I'm just saying, it kind of looks like he left you and Noah in the dust."
"In what world would that man leave Noah?" you practically shouted. 
"That's true," she replied with a smile. "Bradley would never leave his adorable son, but I could see him ditching you and your make believe baby."
You rubbed your temples and took your phone out of your pocket to check the time. You'd barely make it to work before the first patient if you didn't leave right now, but you couldn't help yourself. "I'm done, Casey. I've had enough. Which of the owners is here today? Because I'm not going to listen to you talk to me like this for one more minute."
Her face went ghostly white and she muttered something that you couldn't quite make out. "Speak up," you snapped. "Or apologize to me and don't bother talking to me again unless it's completely necessary."
"Sorry."
"Great," you told her loudly. "Have a great day, and when I pick Noah up later, just keep your mouth shut."
You took in the stupid looking expression on her face before you turned to leave, storming out the door and across the parking lot to your car.
---------------------------
It didn't take Bradley long to get used to the sleek controls and seductive design of the sixth-generation fighter jet that everyone appropriately referred to as Shadowhawk. By the second morning on base in Yokosuka, Admiral Palmer was singing Bradley's praises. He showed up early and did as he was told, hoping to spend as much time in the air as he could each day.
It was an adrenaline rush every single time. He was going substantially faster than he ever did in a Super Hornet, and all of his readouts were being recorded. He had to pass a quick physical and stress test every morning before he was allowed to fly, and then he was hooked up to monitoring equipment and let loose. He and Shadowhawk were flying the same loop far out over the pacific ocean at insanely high altitudes, and each time he fell a little bit more in love with being in the air. He could maneuver through rolls and dive into an attack formation faster than he could even imagine. 
When he was flying, it was easy enough to focus on the task at hand. He knew if he wasn't one hundred percent focused, it would be dangerous. He might not snuff out the launched missile in time with his flares or his guns. He might lose sight of his targets. But as soon as he had any sort of mental reprieve, he was thinking about you and Noah and Skittles and his bungalow tucked away on a side street in Coronado.
"Fuck," he muttered as he unloaded from Shadowhawk one day just as the sun was setting. He was drenched in sweat and exhausted, and all he could think about was taking a shower with you before dragging himself off to his king size bed that always smelled like wildflowers and falling asleep in your arms. He let the peripheral staff detach all of the cables and heart monitor from his flight suit before he found an officer who spoke English. "Is there time for me to make a phone call tonight?" he asked. 
It was about three o'clock in the morning in California, and he knew he wouldn't be able to talk to Noah, but he was dying to hear your voice. He knew he'd wake you up, but the ache was so strong, he absolutely needed to if he could. He'd been allowed to make exactly one call so far, and that was already more than two weeks ago.
All he got in response to his question was a quick shake of his head. "Tomorrow," she responded. That's what they told him every day. The lack of communication felt like a prison sentence at times, but there wasn't much he could do but accept it. All of the data they were collecting as well as Shadowhawk itself were considered proprietary and top secret. He practically had to sign his life away every day before he was allowed to touch the thing.
"Tomorrow," he repeated. "But will it actually be tomorrow? Or does that mean a week from now?"
"Tomorrow," she said more firmly, and he thanked her quietly before heading up to the tower to debrief with the admirals. There wasn't much else he could do.
The next day was a lot more of the same, and the routine was starting to grate on his nerves now. The aircraft still felt incredible, beyond his wildest dreams. He was still happy to be here, but at the same time, he was ready to go home now. They weren't giving him any updates on the progress of this assignment or when it might end, so he just decided to approach Admiral Palmer directly.
"Sir, I'd really appreciate a ten minute phone call, if that can be arranged." Once again, it was the middle of the night for you, but Bradley needed it.
The older man eyed him closely and cleared his throat. "It's a liability, Lieutenant. I'm sure you can understand that."
Bradley felt his fingers flex into fists at his sides. "Sir, someone would be monitoring me the entire time. And I'm just asking to talk to my fiancée and my son. That's it. Any time of any day."
The answer of, "There's no guarantee," did not sit well with Bradley. He had to bite his lip until he was tasting blood to keep himself from talking out of order, but he was sure the other man could read the frustration on his face and in his posture. "Maybe a very brief call, but we could be wrapping up our preliminary testing on Shadowhawk any day now. Either way, I'm sure you'll be able to finish out this temporary assignment like a professional."
Bradley swallowed down every retort that came to his mind, saluted Admiral Palmer, and left for his tiny room in the barracks. But another week passed, and Bradley knew there was no end in sight. And perhaps no phone call either. 
-------------------------
"Is this normal though?" you asked Natasha over the phone one night after Noah was in bed. You'd thought about taking a long bath, but you were so tired from working late almost every day, you could barely hold yourself up. You were already in bed at 8:45 with your phone pressed to your ear. "I haven't heard from Bradley in almost a month."
The words made a lump form in your throat. It was actually twenty-two and a half days since he'd called. You needed to hear his voice. Noah was asking for him nonstop, and he had missed your most recent checkup with your obstetrician. The whole thing had been such a blur during your lunch break without him there, and you wanted to show him the new ultrasounds.
"Well, I don't think this assignment is exactly normal, you know?" she replied. "On a regular deployment, you'd be able to talk to him almost weekly. But this is something else altogether."
You made a soft sound. There had to be a way to make the time pass faster. If you didn't have to get Noah by six o'clock every day, you would try to pick up more hours at work. Maybe this weekend you could start cleaning up the extra bedroom that you and Bradley decided would become the nursery. You already promised Noah that you'd take him shopping for a Halloween costume, so at least that would entertain him for a little while. 
"Thanks, Natasha," you murmured to Bradley's best friend.
"Hey, if you need a little break this weekend, I'd be more than happy to come over and play with Noah on Saturday or Sunday," she said, and you sighed in relief.
"That actually sounds fantastic. I'll call you."
You ended the call a minute later, curling up in a ball of exhaustion as you tried to imagine where Bradley was and what he was doing. You were tired now as you tried to do the math to determine what time it was in Japan. Was he sixteen hours ahead of you? Something like that? You yawned and fell asleep with your phone on the pillow next to your head.
Then you heard your ringtone blaring in your ear, and you almost fell out of the bed as you realized your phone was so close to you. RESTRICTED CALLER. "Oh my god," you gasped, trying to answer the call while you saw that your battery was down to four percent because you never plugged it in. "Bradley?!"
"Princess."
"Bradley!" You climbed out of bed, your body immediately shivering as you were exposed to the cool air. Your nerves were frayed as you plugged your phone in and asked, "Are you okay?"
"I'm fine, Baby. I'm so sorry I woke you up."
"It's okay!" you said, your voice sounding more like a sob as you sat on the floor. "I've been so worried about you."
His voice was a deep, familiar rumble as he said, "I've got five minutes. Tell me everything."
"We miss you, Daddy," you said, rubbing your hand low on your belly which was starting to feel a little tender as you got closer to thirteen weeks along. "Noah asks for you all the time. The baby looked good at the last appointment. But your best friend, Skittles, is barely holding it together."
"I missed your appointment," he said, his voice strained with emotion. "I should have been there."
"It's okay," you whispered. "We're doing okay." But you weren't. You and Noah thrived when you had his attention. You felt loved when he was home to hold you and whisper plans about the future until you fell asleep each night. "I just thought you'd be able to call more often."
"Me too," he said in a tone that sounded both annoyed and resigned.
"Do you know when you'll be home?" you asked in as hopeful a voice as you could manage.
"Soon, Princess. Soon. Now tell me everything about your appointment."
You gave him more details as you shifted around on the floor, and you told him that Noah painted a picture for him. Then you heard someone on his end of the call telling him that it was time to go, and you wanted to scream that it wasn't enough. But instead you let the tears fall down your cheeks, thankful that you at least knew he was safe. 
"I love you, Bradley."
"I love you too, Princess. I'll be home before you know it."
You dried your tears and climbed back into bed, and even though you weren't able to fall asleep again, you felt so much better. Your imagination drifted to thoughts of the baby in the nursery, all of you curled up on the floor for story time together. You would start getting the room ready this weekend.
On Saturday, you took Noah to the Halloween warehouse store that seemed to pop up overnight. "You have to hold my hand," you reminded him as he reached for every single display in the crowded store. There were so many aisles, this would probably take up your entire morning with him. He was keeping a running list of options that he liked for trick-or-treating, and you had to keep reminding yourself not to check the price tags. You'd put whatever he wanted on your princess credit card and call it a day.
"Mommy, let's all be dinosaurs," he said, pointing to a costume in his size. 
You glanced around the area and said, "They don't have any in my size. Can we pick something else?"
"I want you and Daddy to dress up, too," he whined, and you didn't want to have to tell him that you weren't sure if Bradley would be home in the next week and a half to accommodate that wish. 
"Well, I will definitely dress up with you, okay? Let's pick something out where you and I can match."
But he wasn't going to be deterred. He was demanding that all three of you match along with Skittles. You walked around the entire store twice before you found an option that he agreed upon, and you were smiling as you gathered the costumes in all of the necessary sizes. "This is perfect, Sweet Noah," you said as you looked at the costume for Bradley and laughed. You just hoped he would be back in time to wear it. If not, maybe you could ask Maverick. 
The sky was starting to look overcast, so you took Noah home for lunch and didn't feel too bad about keeping him inside for the afternoon, especially when it started raining. You set him up with his array of coloring books at the kitchen table and then went to investigate the extra bedroom. Nobody ever slept in there, so it was a bit dusty. There was basically no furniture besides the bed and an old desk, but it was cozy and perfect for what you had planned. 
Your muscles were sore from standing at work, and you were so tired, but you started moving the bed anyway. You'd have to tell Dr. Kelly and the others that you were pregnant soon. It was time now, but you kept putting it off, enjoying the secret that only you and Bradley really knew about. Plus it still got under your skin a little bit when you considered that other people would have a knee jerk reaction to the timeframe of when you got engaged compared to when you got pregnant. 
"It's none of their business," you whispered to yourself as you walked to the kitchen to check on Noah every few minutes. Then you went back to the bedroom and cleaned, moved things around and took measurements. "How big are cribs, anyway?" you mused before looking up some dimensions online. "Pretty big." 
It took some creativity, but you thought you'd finally sorted out where everything should go. Then you moved Bradley's random junk from the closet to the attic, wiping the sweat from your face with each trip. You kicked your way through the boxes where you'd found the USB drive with the video he made with Meredith. At first you grimaced and thought you might cry, but then you remembered the way he had smashed the stupid thing to bits in the backyard. You wanted him to come home. You needed him to. 
"Mommy?" Noah called out, luring you back into the kitchen. You were a mess, and when you noticed how much he was yawning, you silently rejoiced. 
"It looks like you could use a nap," you said as you kissed the curls on top of his head. He scrambled up into your arms and hugged you, such a tiny reminder of his dad, and you carried him off to his room. After a few stories, he was asleep as the rain picked up a little bit, and you knew this would be the perfect time to take a shower.
You moved Skittles' bed into Noah's room temporarily, and coaxed her in with a treat. "Keep him company in case he wakes up," you whispered, and she walked around in a circle on the plush cushion before settling in. Her crooked, purple bow made you smile. Everything in this house made you smile and think about Bradley. You knew he'd have even more ideas about a theme for the nursery, but you started to scroll through some inspiration online as the shower warmed up for you.
The water ended up feeling better than you anticipated. Your shoulders were sore. Your hips were sore. Every part of your body was aching. It seemed it didn't matter how much you were sleeping, you were still exhausted all day long. Maybe Dr. Kelly would reduce your hours and give you a break. You thought about sneaking home one afternoon a week to take a long nap before going back out to pick Noah up. Then you thought about how Casey hadn't said a single word to you since you told her you were going to her boss. Then you smiled. 
You were squeaky clean when you got dressed again in some old sweats and headed to the kitchen. Your stomach was growling, and you desperately wanted some coffee. "One cup is okay," you whispered, turning on Bradley's fancy machine while you made yourself a snack. You'd been meticulous about how much caffeine you were drinking, and Bradley helped by bringing home only decaf from the coffee shop. You downed the cup, and it was hot and delicious, and almost immediately you had to pee again. 
Your doctor told you that was normal as the baby grew and started to stretch things out. You passed Noah's bedroom door where both he and Skittles were still sound asleep as the rain splattered against his window, and then you went to the bathroom. When you wiped, the toilet paper caught your eye, and your hand started to shake. Pink. Blood. Just a little bit, but there was blood. 
"Oh no," you gasped, a dizzy spell overtaking your body. You'd read about this in your textbooks, and you knew it could happen, but you'd blocked it out of your mind when it came to yourself right now. You didn't want to be an example. You had to grip the toilet seat with one hand to keep steady as you wiped yourself again. There was more blood, a little bit less pink and more red this time. 
Your own breathing was too loud. It was echoing through your mind and through the bathroom, and you wanted to throw up. You eased yourself onto the floor and started to panic. The baby. What if something was happening to the baby? "No," you whispered, trying to ground yourself. Using the edge of the tub, you pulled yourself slowly to your feet, your head spinning more with every inch you moved. "No," you said louder. 
When you were standing on your own, you had yourself almost convinced you'd imagined it. You didn't feel bad. You were just a little sore. There couldn't be anything wrong. You reached for another piece of toilet paper and wiped, but the result was the same. 
Where was your phone? Who were you supposed to call? You walked around in circles around the house while your heart thudded a sickening rhythm in your chest. You paused, unable to locate your phone and convinced you were going to throw up. After you backtracked to the extra bedroom, you found it and unlocked it.
Natasha's name was right there in your recent calls, and you tapped on it before you could even fathom what you were going to tell her. 
"Hi," she said brightly when she eventually answered. "Want me to come over and play with Noah so you can take a break for a little bit?"
"Please," you gasped. "Please come over. Right now."
She must have sensed something in your voice, because hers turned serious as she assured you she was on her way. While you waited for her, you wiped yourself again and again before you made yourself wait in the living room instead of the bathroom. When she walked inside with dripping wet hair and concern on her face, you said, "Noah is still napping. I need to take myself to the emergency room."
----------------------------
Get to the hospital, Princess. This kind of scenario is very real and has happened to me. I will tread as carefully as I can. Please don't scream at me. We will hear from a doctor in the next chapter. Thanks @mak-32 and @beyondthesefourwalls
PART 56
@hotch-meeeeeuppppp
@chassy21
@solacestyles
@daisyhollyxox
@wintercap89
@blog-name6996
@bcon24
@chaoticassidy
@avada-kedavra-bitch-187
@katiebby04
@marantha
@averyhotchner
@abaker74
@heli991113
@k-k0129
@noz4a2
@shanimallina87
@little-wiseone
@ccbb2222
@xoxabs88xox
@thedroneranger
@cherrycola27
@fanboyswhore9
@xomrsalliej4787xo
@desert-fern
@sylviebell
@wkndwlff
@horseslovers2016
@gennyanydots
@mattyskies
@hookslove1592
@blahehblah
@sadpetalsstuff
@local-spidey
@schoollover
@lex-winchester
@magicalmorg
@nicole01-23
@jessicab1991
@happyrebelruins
@samsgoddess
@ughthisisntright
@bellaireland1981
@sagittarius-flowerchild
@mygyn
@yuckosworld
683 notes · View notes
r1nstaaa · 26 days
Text
Mingyu x fem!reader
Tumblr media
MDNI!!! this ones for u, maya <3
warnings: uh idk sex? raw sex yes. angst if u squint. smut mostly. childhood bsfs to lovers. happy ending bc im too soft sorry. it's my first time writing smth like this pls be nice
should mingyu feel ashamed? ashamed for thinking about how good those tiny hands of yours would feel around his thick cock, pumping him and stroking him while you’re on your knees looking up at him through those oh so innocent eyes of yours? should he feel ashamed for not focusing on a word you’ve been saying for the past 15 minutes, his eyes being glued only to your chest and lips?
it started when you were in high school. you and mingyu had been inseparable, almost as if your souls were created from the same one. he lived next door to you and you would go to his place every time you wanted to do something together. your mom treated him like her own son and his mother had practically accepted you as family.  you could never have imagined a life without him. and frankly, you’re not even sure if you’d want to.
it wasn’t until the day that mingyu broke the news to you that you realised it was time to let go. it was time to let go of all the big warm hugs, or the ‘bear hugs’ as your mingyu liked to call them. it was time to let go of all the cheek kisses, all the lingering gazes that you were both too scared to act on. you wished you could have said it. you wished you were brave enough. but you weren’t. and neither was he. 
he was leaving for korea in a week and there was nothing for you to do except let go of him.
you wished you could have gone about your life casually after his leave, but it would be a lie if you said you didn’t miss him everywhere. you missed him when you went to the restaurant where you bought him his favourite spicy ramen. you missed him at the park where he made you laugh so hard you almost choked on your soda. you missed the smile on his face every time you told him you hated him for making fun of you. the smile that made you wonder if the stars envied him for the way he could brighten up darkness so effortlessly.
it wasn’t until 6 years later that you finally caught a glimpse of him again. 
you were at the airport in korea. you’d managed to fulfill your dream of becoming an architect and had finally gotten a project outside of your country. you saw flashing cameras, paparazzi, and a huge crowd of people surrounding a 6’ something guy wearing a mask and some sweats. you never got the idea of surrounding people as if they’re some god. they’re just people too after all. 
you had managed to get through some of the crowd when you reached for your phone in the back pocket of your jeans. you pat it several times just to make sure until you realised something. shit. it was missing.
it was right when the realisation hit you that you felt a tap on your shoulder. you turned around and were face to…chest? god, this man was freakishly tall. you looked up to meet his eyes with yours and it was as if the breath had been knocked out of your damn lungs.
mingyu.
it was YOUR mingyu. 
“y/n?” he questioned, almost to himself. he couldn’t believe it. it was you. there were so many thoughts trying to rush their way out of his heart into his mouth that they seemed to all get clogged up in his throat. your name was the only thing that felt right on his tongue.
“gyu?” you questioned back, the look of surprise on your face quite evident.
“you dropped your phone.” he said, his eyes not leaving yours for even a second. almost as if he was afraid you’d disappear the second you left his eyesight.
“i- oh yeah. thank you” you managed to sputter out as you took the phone from his hand. “what are you- what are you doing here?” you ask him. oh god. this was such a dumb question. what was he doing? you knew what he was doing. you stalked his account like a thousand times. you knew he was an idol.
he flashed a smile when he heard this question. the smile that you hadn’t seen in at least 6 years. it was almost as if it was reserved only for you. he was about to answer you when his bodyguards notified him about something that made his smile drop. 
“i’ll reach out to you later. i promise.” he said as his bodyguards seemed to rush him out of the airport. you were left there alone with your countless thoughts and overflowing emotions, unable to decipher which one was tugging at you more.  
and so, here you were, in your new and surprisingly well furnished flat, all thanks to your sister. you had changed into your tank top and shorts while emptying your bags and setting up your closet. your room was fairly clean by now, even though you were only about halfway done. you had never been a fan of messy surroundings anyways. 
right as you were about to put the last pile of your shorts into your closet, you heard your phone ring. 
“oh. an unknown number? at 9 pm? isn’t it a bit too late for that? or maybe it isn’t?” you thought to yourself. you figured the culture here at korea must be different. 
“hello?” you said, hoping for some sort of an explanation as to who it was.
“hi.” the voice on the other side greeted you. it was almost embarrassing how quick you were to realise who it was.
“mingyu… oh, hi. um, wow. hi.” your voice was shaking already. oh god. way to go, y/n.
“yes,  hello.” you could hear his honey laced laughter from the other side. it made your heart melt. “how have you been?”
“i- okay. first of all, how the hell did you get my number?” you asked, a hint of bewilderment in your voice.
“i had it memorised.” you could HEAR the love in his voice. this was so bad. you were doomed. 
you didn’t really have anything to say, nor did you trust your words at the moment. you were afraid if you said something now, everything else would spill out uncontrollably. 
“why didn’t you call earlier?” your voice was getting shaky. oh no. you knew this was a bad idea. “it’s been 6 years gyu. 6 fucking years.”
‘“i know, i know” mingyu cut you off before you could continue, your words shooting daggers at his heart. he’d always hated seeing you cry. but the pain was different when he was the one making you cry. “i’m so, so sorry. god, i have so much to make up for. please trust me when I tell you there hasn’t been a single day when you haven’t crossed my mind. i know 6 years isn’t nothing. ghosting you was a dick move. i- please. don’t cry. no. god, can i come over?” he asked, picking up on your silent sobs just as well as he did back then.
and just like he used to be back then, he was here at your doorstep to make you forget about everything that ever made you sad. except that this time, he was the one making you cry. he couldn’t ever forgive himself for this, but he could try to atone for his sins, as he’d like to call it.
you weren’t exactly crying anymore, since you’d always been pretty good at regaining your composure. but there was a certain emptiness in your heart, one that you knew only gyu could fill.
you were standing face to face, him panting slightly because of the 7 flights of stairs he’d just conquered. 
“hey.” you said. 
“hi.” he looked down at you. the longing in his eyes too evident for you to ignore.
“no security this time?” you questioned with a smile on your face.
“ah, no. that was airport security. kind of a formality.”
you nodded. “you’ve gotten so big. i can’t even hug you now.” you said while giving him a faint smile, referring to the dozens of fangirls he was surrounded by and not to mention, the security.
“oh bullshit.” he said as he pulled you into the tightest hug you could have ever imagined. his arms fully caging you in as if he never intended to let you go. and you wouldn’t admit it, but you never wanted him to either. 
“i missed you.” he whispered into your hair. “god, i missed you so much. i’m so sorry.” 
he spent 3 hours explaining why he couldn’t contact you and what he had been upto without you. after a while, you couldn’t find it in yourself to care about anything besides the fact that one, he did not have a girlfriend. and two, he had changed a lot. appearance wise, that is. he wasn’t the mingyu who had left for korea anymore. he was taller, stronger and undeniably hotter. little did you know, mingyu had been thinking about the same things as you were. when did you get so fucking irresistible? i mean, sure he did have a thing for you back in high school. hell, he hasn’t even been able to get over it for the past 6 years, but seeing you like this, with barely anything on and a newfound confidence which you certainly did not have back then ignited something in him. he didn't know how long it would be until he finally gave in.
and so, here you were. facing him on your bed, talking about some degree of yours, when all he could focus on was the way you licked your lips before continuing, or the way your tits were almost fully out on display for him due to that sad excuse for a clothing item you were wearing. you noticed too. he wasn’t exactly being subtle. the way his knees were touching yours and the way he kept playing with his fingers was driving you insane.
“well, then yeah. here i am now, i guess.” you finished telling him about your life. you were almost completely caught up on each others’ stories now, or so you’d like to believe.
his stare hadn’t once left your lips. you hadn’t really noticed how close his face was to yours until you had finished talking.  “gyu” you questioned, your voice almost a whisper. the space between you could be easily closed with just a lean forward from either of you. it had come down to self control now. and lucky for you, mingyu barely had any when it came to you.
“can i?” he questioned, his lips almost on yours. almost. 
you responded by putting your lips on his, and his hands immediately snaked around your waist, pulling you onto his lap. his grip on you was so strong, it made you whimper against his lips. you didn’t bother pulling away to breathe, the action seeming a bit too unimportant at the moment. you had other things to do right now. “gyu..” you moaned out as his lips made their way down to your neck. “so sweet. so good. been thinking bout this for so long.” he whispered against your skin, punctuating each sentence with a kiss on different parts of your neck. his hands made their way up your top, making direct contact with your skin. the warmth radiating off of his hands made you melt under his touch. 
his hands came up to grasp the hook of your bra as his mouth worked wonders on your sensitive spot. “can i? please?” he asked before unclasping the hooks and discarding the small material of clothing into a small corner of your room. his hands snaked further up your body as he guided your top over your head. he had your tits right in his face now. “fuck… so pretty.  shit, all for me?” he asked as he latched onto your right nipple, sucking and licking at the sensitive bud while his hand worked wonders on the left one, pinching at it, making you squirm. “yes.. gyu please. need more. need you.” 
“patience baby. been wanting this for so long. gonna make it worth it.” he said as he took his shirt off. god, it was a sight to see. he was gorgeous. the toned abs, the huge biceps, and not to mention, that beautiful face, he was going to be the death of you. “like what you see?” he questioned teasingly, but your brain was too focused on the way his hands were squeezing your tits while he used his mouth to suck and nibble at your collarbones. he stopped all of it to grab your attention, and you whined at the loss of contact. “gonna need answers baby. be a good girl and use your words, hmm?” you moaned out a weak ‘yes’ as a response, but he accepted it out of mercy.
“lie down for me, pretty girl. on your back, thats it” he said as he helped you get off his lap and onto the mattress. his lips travelled all the way from your neck to your breasts, down to your tummy. he placed several wet, sloppy kisses all over your tummy, making sure to mark you as his on any part of your skin that was visible. your neck had already served its purpose as his canvas, his art on full display for any man who’d even dare to look at you. he wouldn’t admit it, but he was completely obsessed with the idea of making you his. god, he wanted you so bad. 
his hands found their way to the waistband of your shorts, which he tugged at as a way of asking for your permission yet again. you pulled them off yourself making him let out a groan at your compliance. he was facing your clothed cunt, the wet spot on it embarrassingly evident. he kissed it once, looking up to see your reaction. “does that feel good, love?” he asked as his hand made its way to your core, rubbing light circles on it through your underwear. he was such a tease. 
you couldn’t find it in yourself so speak, so you just nodded. this made him stop again. “please baby, i’m gonna need you to use your words, yeah? tell me how good i’m making you feel.” he said as he spat on that damp spot on your underwear, teasing you even further. “mingyu… feels so good.” you managed to moan out, earning a chuckle from him. “see, it wasn’t that hard baby.” 
he pulled your panties off, spreading your legs even further and getting down on his knees on the floor as he pulled you towards the edge of the bed. “such a pretty pussy. can’t wait to taste you baby.” 
his fingers danced against your clit, tapping slightly in an attempt to tease you. this made you let out a whine. “shh baby. i’m gonna take my time with you.” he said, as he tapped his fingers against your lips, signalling you to take them in. you wasted no time in sucking on his fingers and coating them with your saliva. “such a good girl.” 
his hands slid against your folds, the coldness of your saliva mixed with your slick making you shiver. he rubbed on your clit while his other hand was busy playing with your tits. he inserted one finger into your hole, making you gasp. 
“shit, you’re so fucking tight. need you wrapped around me.” you felt his tongue lapping against your cunt, the feeling sending you into overdrive. you had your hands in his air, tugging at it for some sort of control. “ah- gyu, please. fuck.” he groaned against your pussy, the vibrations reaching straight to your core. just as you felt your high approaching, he gave your clit one last kiss before pulling away. you felt tears well up in your eyes as you let out a whine at the loss of contact.
“aww baby. ‘m sorry. but if you’re gonna cum, it’ll be around my cock.” such a fucking tease.
he pulled his pants off, revealing his deliciously prominent bulge in his boxers. he was palming his cock while staring at your cunt. fuck. 
“shit baby. you’re so beautiful. you want me to fuck you?” he knew the answer. of course he did. he could see you how you clenched around the nothing at the sight of his cock being freed from his boxers. lord have mercy. “yes min. please fuck me.” you managed to choke out. that was all he needed.
he stood between your legs, teasing your entrance with his cock. he slowly rubbed against it, gathering your wetness before slipping it in. the stretch you felt made you moan out loud. the sound was music to his ears. once he was buried inside fully, he waited for you to let him know it was okay to move. 
“shit, you feel so good baby.” he groaned, holding back the urge to thrust hard into you and absolutely ruin you for anyone else. but he knew it was too soon. he wanted to savour this moment, feeling your warmth surrounding his cock. he leaned down to kiss you as he began to move steadily, swallowing up all the sounds you were making. “f-fuck gyu, feels so good” you whined against his lips. his hips rocked into you, building up a rhythm. each powerful stroke made your breath hitch, as your nails were busy creating their own masterpiece on his back. he was proud of it too. 
his hands were on your waist, gripping it tightly as he thrust into you. he was picking up his pace. he pressed down on your abdomen, making you gasp loudly. “you feel that baby? feel my cock against your tummy? does that feel good?” he asked, his voice hoarse and laced with ecstasy. “y-yes min. i’m close, fuck.” he knew from the way your pussy clenched around his cock that you were close. his rhythm was starting to falter as he approached his own high.
“where’d you want it baby? want me to come on your pussy? gonna look so pretty.” you nodded, barely registering his words. you were so close. “please.” was all you could let out. your breathless plea was enough to convince him. 
your eyes squeezed shut as you felt yourself come undone around his cock. a few more thrusts and he pulled out, spilling his seed all over your pussy. he collapsed onto you, placing feather light kisses all over your neck and collarbones.
“i’m never letting you go again, you know?”
“i know.”
“i love you, y/n.” 
720 notes · View notes
biteofcherry · 4 months
Text
Echo that thunders
Tumblr media
Bucky Barnes x female reader
summary: The life you and Bucky built has crumbled. Or so you think. But maybe some ruins can be reconstructed, if true love is given a chance?
warnings: angst; lots of feels; hurt/comfort; divorced couple; mention of past infidelity; marital problems; both Reader and Bucky are self-blaming and self-punishing idiots; and obviously are still deeply in love; they need therapy and I encourage that; reconciling intimacy (yes, I mean sex with feelings and tears); Alpine is almost squeezed to death with love (truly affectionately);
word count: 6k
Author's Note: This is my entry for Eight Types of Love challenge from @the-slumberparty. I took a twist on pragma: exes with feelings.
Bucky Barnes Masterlist
Main Masterlist
Tumblr media
Every week the hollow in your chest would ache and you’d try to cram it with sweetness of fleeting moments: catching the pure joy and love on your little boy’s face, mulling your sorrow with pastries that you’d eat alone, then quiet your longing with laughter and shouts of your friends. 
You made it look like it was easy, like you didn’t die a little every damn Friday when you drove your son to his father’s place. 
Maybe you’d feel better if it was the mother missing her baby boy for the weekend, but the wounds opened not for the few days of empty nest, but because seeing Bucky ripped you to pieces. 
You wouldn’t avoid it, though. He loved your son so much, was so happy to spend every possible day with him and you would never take that away from either of them. 
Even if it hurt. 
Truth be told, you wouldn’t let anyone take that away from you, either. Because the pain of seeing Bucky was also sprinkled with that fluttering, bittersweet feeling. Love that you still harbored. 
You didn’t think it was possible to ever stop loving Bucky. 
As you proved, it was possible to divorce him, but it didn’t sever the hold he had on your heart and soul. 
So you welcomed the ache in your chest as an invisible iron fist clenched its cold claws around your heart, when Bucky smiled and waved at you from the sidewalk in front of his building. You knew he waved at your little boy, who was already bouncing in his seat, but you couldn’t help the smile spreading on your lips in return.
“Hi, rascals!” Bucky greeted you, the same way he’s been greeting the both of you ever since your son was born. 
He waited for you to round the car after you parked it, loosely wrapping an arm around your middle and giving you that awkward half-hug. 
You assumed it was as awkward for him as it was for you, though for different reasons.
Bucky was simply nice, trying his hardest to maintain a good rapport with you for the sake of your son, while he had to be repulsed by you inwardly. For you, the hug was difficult, because you always craved to bury yourself within his arms and feel that protective, loving hold. 
“Hi,” you smiled and ducked under his arm, before he noticed that pathetic longing shining in your eyes. 
You went to retrieve a small bag and backpack with Stevie’s clothes and belongings, while Bucky unbuckled your son from the car seat and scooped the boy up in his arms. Joyous squeal “Daddy!” melted you all over again, reminding you how ecstatic the boy was every time Bucky returned home - no matter if he’s been gone a few days on a mission, or just an hour running errands. 
When you turned to them, the sight of them grinning at each other froze you on the spot. You were aware that Stevie shared some of Bucky’s mimics, but it was that moment when your boy pressed his cheek to Bucky’s and they both looked your way with lopsided grins that shattered your heart into pieces. 
You squashed the flare of sorrow inside, saving it for later when you’re alone with a pint of ice cream. 
Bucky had suggested a couple of times that he could come pick Stevie up from your place, but you were too scared of seeing Bucky back in the apartment where you all used to live together. Where the love and happiness were supposed to be forever. 
You were scared he’d come inside and see that you still had a few photographs of him on the shelves. 
You reasoned that it was for the sake of your son, so that he felt his dad’s presence at all times, but you couldn’t fully let go of Bucky yourself. 
“Hey,” Bucky took the bag from your hands, but left you holding Stevie’s backpack. “Can you come upstairs for a second? I wanted to talk something over.”
He always invited you under the pretext of talking over some details regarding Stevie, but ended up dealing with it in two sentences and then coaxing you into a neutral small talk that left you all the more missing him. 
Yet you couldn’t force yourself to say no. 
“Sure.” You nodded, squeezing the strap of the small, red backpack in your trembling fingers. 
Bucky’s apartment, which he got after you filed for divorce, was small, but clean and spacious enough for a four year old and a cat.   
Alpine stuck her head from behind a wall when you entered. She made a tiny meowing sound and walked forward, but the second Bucky put your son on his feet the cat bolted away. Stevie of course followed, running after the furball with glee.
“So I know there’s still plenty of time to plan summer vacation-” Bucky started, leading you toward the counter separating the kitchen from the living room- “but Sam invited us to Louisiana, to spend a few weeks at his sister’s place.”
“Oh.” It was instinctive, that very first thought about your baby boy being away for weeks. In a different state, nonetheless. 
However, you promised yourself to not be an overprotective, controlling mother. And you trusted Bucky with your son at all times. 
“That sounds fun.” You relaxed your shoulders and smiled. “I’m sure Stevie will love it. Especially if you take him on a boat.”
He was in a marine fascination phase. At least once every few weeks you had to go to the aquarium and turn on Discovery channel instead of morning cartoons. 
“Maybe I’ll manage to re-do his bedroom, while he’s away with you,” cogs in your brain started turning. “It’d be a fun surprise when he gets back.�� 
“Won’t you need help with that?” Bucky asked, perking up. “We could do that on the weekend when he’s with your parents? You know I’d be happy to help. We can rope Sam into it, too.”
He sounded so eager. For a fleeting moment you enjoyed the warmth at the thought of the two of you doing something for your son together, but you quickly reminded yourself that Bucky would do absolutely anything for Stevie, including dealing with your presence.    
“Umm, sure,” you swallowed nervously, “if you’re not on a mission.”
You regretted saying it, seeing a flash of guilt on Bucky’s face. 
It was a sore subject and bringing it up hurt you both. 
You always admired Bucky for what he did, how much he risked to save others. It didn’t change the fact, however, that saving the world meant neglecting you at times. He tried his best, you knew he did. Still, it hurt when you spent some nights and celebrations alone. 
“We’ve made some changes on the rooster.” Bucky didn’t look at you as he talked, instead focusing on taking out ingredients from the fridge. “It’s doable to book some dates as non-active.”
“That’s good!” You tried to sound genuinely happy for him, while inside you felt a wave of rage that the accommodation wasn’t made when you needed it in the past. “All of you deserve rest and to, you know, live your private lives, too.” 
“Yeah.” Bucky’s shoulders drove up in tension even as he nodded. 
You stayed quiet for a long moment, the sound of your son’s giggles coming from the bedroom where he chased Alpine filled the space, but didn’t ease the sudden heaviness. 
“I better-” you started at the same time that Bucky began:
“Do you want to-”
Both of you paused, but before either motioned at the other to finish, you were interrupted by a pitiful meow and soft paddle of your four year old’s feet.
You both turned and watched your son wobble as he carried Alpine. Though carried was a bit of a stretch to describe two tiny arms tightly wrapped around the upper half of the cat’s body, with its head barely sticking out and two front legs sticking upwards while the rest of the furry body dangled down. 
You quickly covered your mouth to stifle the burst of laughter, but Bucky behind you couldn’t help the snort. 
“Buddy.” He moved around the counter and crouched in front of Stevie. “Alpine knows you love her lots and want to play with her, but this is a bit uncomfortable for her.”
You thought the cat is an actual saint for not having yet scratched Stevie for all the love she was getting from him. 
“Hey!” You chimed in, reaching for the small backpack. “You forgot about the present you have for Alpine.”
“Mousey!” Stevie dropped the cat almost instantly and ran towards you. 
“A present, huh?” Bucky placated Alpine, scratching her behind the ear while she rubbed against his leg. 
“Made it with mommy!” Your son beamed proudly after you fished out the small toy from his backpack. “For artses-” which was his version of saying art classes. “But mommy said it’s perfect for Apine.”
It was a bright blue, slightly askew, crocheted mouse. With a very, very long tail. You thought it would be perfect for Stevie to hold the end of the tail and slide the mouse across the floor, so Alpine could chase it.
“It really is,” Bucky nodded, noticing that the soft toy had caught Alpine’s attention. “Why don’t you run around with it, play nicely with Alpine, while I make us spaghetti?”
Stevie didn’t have to be told twice. Alpine seemed eager for this kind of play, as well. Chasing a new toy surely was more preferable than being squeezed to death. 
Bucky straightened. His tall, broad figure filled your vision. He was much closer now, with no counter separating you. He looked after your son fondly, then his soft gaze switched to you. Not for a second did the affection fade in his eyes as he looked at you. 
“Thank you,” he almost whispered, touching your shoulder gently.
You wanted to blurt out that there was nothing to thank for, but you understood what he meant. The same way you were grateful for his concern whenever you had a cold and he took Stevie so you could rest (bringing you some chicken broth on his way), or that he picked you up when your car died. The small gestures each of you displayed, that betrayed care neither of you seemed to be able to lose. 
Bucky’s hand slowly slid down your arm and because you were so lost in the blue of his eyes and the tenderness of the moment, you forgot to brace yourself for the small sting that his touch brought when he passed your forearm.
You winced. 
Unfortunately, Bucky noticed.
Instantly, he stilled. His hand remained on your forearm, but his touch eased. His gaze flicked from your face to the spot covered by your sleeve and up to your face again. 
“What is it?” Worry pinched his features. “Are you injured?”
He moved even closer, angling his head so he could maintain eye contact with you, even though he towered over you. He gently took your wrist into his metal hand and carefully rolled your sleeve up. 
“It’s nothing. It’s-” 
Words died on your tongue when Bucky’s gaze hardened, a muscle in his jaw twitching, as his gaze landed on the injured spot. 
There were no visible bruises. Not to you, anyway. You mostly felt the tenderness of that area than saw any marks. But Bucky’s senses were enhanced and he definitely could see the difference in the smallest changes of your skin, the barest hint of different pigmentation. 
And, much to your dismay, you could never lie to him. 
“Who did that?” Bucky kept calm, but you sensed the concern bursting into protective rage inside of him. 
“Someone, who is no longer in the picture.” You replied, tilting your chin up. “I may have not expected it happening, but once it did, I wouldn’t chance it repeating.”
The whole attempt at dating was so uncomfortable for you, but seeing some pap pictures of Bucky with an unknown female had made you impulsively agree to the fifth invite from a guy from accountants. 
It was irrational and irresponsible - as some of your past mistakes. There was nothing that suggested Bucky and that woman were connected in any way beside the work area. They weren’t even alone in that place. It’s just that he had his hand on her back and she was giving him a flirtatious smile. 
Well, your jealous brain told you it’s flirtatious. The same brain that forgot to remind you that it was no longer your business if and whom Bucky was dating.
So you went on the stupid date yourself, feeling all kinds of wrong during it. Then got a glimpse of what shit you almost got yourself into, when you wanted to end your date short and the guy called you a tease. His hold on your forearm when you tried to leave was forceful enough to leave a painful reminder. 
“I’d still like to know the name.” Bucky’s gaze shone a dark glint; plates in his metal arm moved in a reflection of muscles tensing. 
“No need.” Placing your free hand on his chest to soothe him was a habit, you didn’t even realize you were doing it. “I promise you, he won’t ever find himself near Stevie.”      
Bucky frowned at that. Suddenly, he was letting go of your arm and cupping the side of your face instead.
“Baby,” it slipped out of his mouth as mindlessly and naturally as you touched him. 
“I know you’d never let anyone hurt our son. But no harm should come your way, either. The guy deserves having his fingers dislocated.”
Bucky wasn’t a violent person. His past, which was beyond his control, painted a certain picture that some people still believed in. But you knew how soft-hearted and kind he really was. He used force and combat in missions, but his teammates knew he would be the first one to show mercy and pull back his punches. 
However, he was protective. And when he entered that mode, he could be very scary. 
Your fingers on his chest clenched slightly, gripping the fabric of his soft, blue henley; as if you were trying to stop him from marching away and finding whoever posed as a threat.
You felt the steady thud of Bucky’s heartbeat beneath your palm, the rhythm of his breath. You sensed the moment his muscles slightly relaxed.
“How about-” hands cupping your face slowly slid down and away, but Bucky didn’t put any distance between you- “you stay for dinner and we’ll talk more about it later?” 
There was nothing to talk about, really. Or maybe there was, but it shouldn’t be Bucky giving you the talk. His concern only messed with your head and your heart, leaving you with incomparable longing and aching solitude when you went back home. 
You opened your mouth to refuse his proposal, but your son suddenly found himself nearby and torpedoed your resilience.
“You gonna stay mommy?” He looked up at you with big, hopeful eyes. 
Bucky and you made sure to be together for important events like Stevie’s birthday, or kindergarten recitals, or even for the 4th of July. But day to day everything happened separately. You didn’t share meals, or walks, or trips the way you used to when you were married. 
You were aware of the impact it had on your son, but one can’t be divorced and still spend every day with each other. 
However, you couldn’t find the strength at the moment to crush your son’s unexpected spark of joy at the prospect of something so simple like spending the afternoon with both of his parents. 
You couldn’t deny your deep, wallowing desire to spend some more time in Bucky’s presence, either. As self-harming as it could be. 
“Um-” you swallowed nervously as you looked down at your little boy. “Yeah- yes, I’ll stay. You know I always liked your daddy’s cooking.” 
Your heart nearly burst when Stevie launched himself forward, wrapping his small arms around yours and Bucky’s legs. Then he was running away, with even more bounce to his skip than before. 
To your relief, Bucky easily switched the topic to casual conversation as you joined him in the kitchen to help prepare dinner. He told you a few latest, funny stories; gushed about a new book series he started reading; asked about your dad’s knee surgery. 
Falling into this comfortable pattern of domesticity with him was too easy. Like you haven’t been living separately for the past year, nursing deeply hidden resentment (which you expected from Bucky) and heartbreak. You knew it would hit you harder when you got back home, step into that silent, empty bedroom, which once upon a time was your nest of safety, laughter and love. 
All of which you blew up. 
You didn’t protest too strongly when Bucky fed your son an extra portion of ice cream after dinner, you were too distracted with your own ache that was spreading its nasty vines over you. 
You played with the melting scoops in your own bowl as Bucky picked up a half-asleep Stevie and carried him to the bedroom. Alpine trotter right after them. From the occasional pictures that Bucky sent you when Stevie was staying at his place, you knew that the cat would jump onto the bed next to your boy and fall asleep with him. 
When Bucky returned and sat beside you on the couch, his presence almost toppled you into a sobbing fit. 
Once upon a time, you’d cuddle on the sofa in your living room and talk for hours, or watch shows, or make out. Even sitting in silence, while Bucky read a book and you browsed social media, was comforting and easy. 
There was nothing easy about it now. Because that desperate need to crawl into his arms and have him chase the sorrows away couldn’t be sated.  
“I’m sorry about earlier.” Bucky’s quiet voice surprised you.
You blinked as you looked at him, slightly confused with what he was talking about.
“I know you’re responsible and very strong. You’re more than capable of looking after yourself and don’t need my meddling in your intimate life.” He said, staring down at some spot and not meeting your eyes. 
The words intimate life sounded as if he almost choked on them.
“I know it’s too late to mend what I fucked up.” He sighed, bowing his head even lower.
Your heart ached, seeing him so resigned.
“James Buchanan Barnes, what the hell are you talking about?!” Instinct to rush to his aid kicked you from your stupor. 
The anger at yourself heightened as once again you saw first hand how much you hurt him. Bucky wasn’t flawless, but he didn’t deserve what you’ve put him through. To know that your actions added to his tendency to self-blame, only made you hate yourself more.
“It was me who fucked everything up.” You countered, setting the bowl on the coffee table with a loud thud. You shifted on the couch, turning your body so that you could face Bucky directly. 
“I broke what we had. I- I broke your heart and you never deserved such awful treatment!”
Neither of you deserved all that pain, but it was on you to take the responsibility for it.  
“I’m not gonna lie, the divorce hurt more than falling off that damn train…” Bucky’s voice quivered with emotion; his fingers shook slightly as he wiped his palms on his thighs.
“Divorce?” You paused, slightly stunned. “I mean, I know it was hard. For both of us. But I knew I needed to set you free after what I’ve done.” 
It was Bucky’s turn to frown, his muscles pinching in a quizzical look as if he didn't understand what you were aiming at, at all. 
“Bucky, I cheated on you!” You hissed loudly, but minding your voice enough to not wake your son.
There it was. The heaviest of truths which triggered the whole domino effect and which both of you avoided naming directly.
But Bucky deserved it - you admitting your faults. There was enough on his shoulders and you couldn’t stand the thought of him taking this burden onto him as well, when it was yours to pay for.
Bucky’s face cleared of confusion, however his frown deepened. 
“What I know is that you were hurt, alone and inebriated. A state some douchebag took advantage of.” There was an undertone of anger in his tone, but not directed at you.
You shook your head in exasperation. 
Leave it to Bucky Barnes to be an understanding, chivalrous knight. It was a wonderful trait, but shouldn’t apply on all occasions, to all people. It definitely should be directed at you. As much as you’d love to follow that reasoning, you had enough self-awareness and responsibility to not go easy on yourself.  
“Being drunk doesn’t excuse what I did.” You stated.
“It wouldn’t, if that was your aim.” Bucky argued. “But tell me, did you go to that bar because you were looking for a hookup? To get back at me?” He rushed with his counter arguments. 
When you tried to turn your head slightly to avoid his gaze, he squeezed your chin between his fingers and gently guided you to look back at him. 
It was hard. To face him when the memories of that awful evening replayed in your head, bringing back a wave of shame and regret. You vomited three days in a row after that night; and only the first half of the first day was due to the alcohol. All the rest was stress and guilt. 
“No, you didn’t.” Bucky continued when you remained silent. 
“You went there, because it was our anniversary and I wasn’t home. I was on a mission. Again,” he sighed regretfully, aware of how his absence weighed down on you. “You went to the bar which we often went to on our dates, before we got married. Probably cursing my ass for absence on another important day and drinking the pain away.”
That was true. Your parents took Stevie for the whole weekend, starting Friday. It was supposed to be a carefree, romantic time for you and Bucky. Even if he would need to just be lazy in bed for an entire day, to recharge after a mission, you still would be together. 
While Bucky returned from one mission, he jumped onto another one right away. He called you to say that he’d be later than he first anticipated, but in the craze of it forgot what date exactly was it. 
You were understanding. Or, well, you tried to be. There was a whole monologue you gave yourself as you paced the floor of your apartment, convincing yourself that your husband was saving someone. So that someone else could return to their family. 
But you still felt bitter and angry that your husband didn’t return to you for something that was supposed to be important to the both of you.
When you went out to that bar, which wasn’t that far from your place, your plan was to have a drink or two and wallow in self-pity. Perhaps to be passive-aggressive, take a picture of yourself all dolled up and send it to Bucky with happy anniversary wishes.
That was it.
Then that man joined you. For a conversation, at first. Two drinks turned into four. Then five. To be honest, at some point his face got a little blurry. He had dark hair, like Bucky. Had his arm wrapped around your middle the way Bucky often did. 
At some point your drunk brain was certain it was Bucky fucking you, not some stranger you just met at the bar.
“I could’ve chosen to stay at home.” You argued, clenching your fingers into fists so hard that your fingernails needled your skin. 
“I could have drunk a bottle or two of wine alone in the safety of our home and sent you angry, slurred messages. Or wait for your return and throw something heavy at your head.” There were so many choices to be made that night. 
“Instead, I made a mess of our lives…” the words fell out of your lips in a broken whisper, your eyes filling with tears.
“And I forgave you.” Bucky said softly as he released your chin. 
“Hell, I don’t even think I was angry with you.” He huffed, running a hand through his hair in a nervous manner. “Oh, I was pissed and hurt!” He gave you a pointed look when you opened your mouth to protest. “I even tracked that man and… well, let’s not talk about things that thankfully didn’t happen once I saw him.” 
“Most of all, I was angry with myself,” Bucky suddenly deflated.
“Why?” You frowned, barely stopping yourself from reaching out to caress his cheek.
“Because I let it happen.” Bucky sighed and leaned forward, bracing his elbows on his thighs. “It was my constant absence that started those clouds over our heads. I was so focused on redeeming myself that I took on more missions than I should.”
A part of you wanted to contradict him, to convince him that he wasn’t doing anything wrong. But there was also a part of you that was still resenting him for doing that, for constantly choosing others over you.
“I think I also wanted to feel needed, which is why I joined teams even though they could’ve handled things without my presence.” He shifted again, sitting across the couch with one leg bent, so he could face you fully. 
He was more hesitant as he reached out for you again. Though you didn’t flinch away, he still dropped his hand as he revealed his own guilt:
“I forgot that you needed me, too.”
You still did. But you wouldn’t dare to tell him that.
“What you do is important. You save lives.” You said quietly, but there wasn’t as much heat to it as you’d like to present.
“I didn’t save us.” Bucky’s words opened the gate to the feelings you tried to stifle for many months.
You almost lifted your fist to angrily rub away the tears threatening to spill, but Bucky reached for you faster. His warm palms rested on your fists; he squeezed them gently.
“Baby, I remember when you mentioned therapy.” He admitted, wincing at the memory of signals which he ignored. “You tried to say it so casually, I know you were afraid of telling me directly that you needed me to save our marriage. I dismissed it.” 
“You hate therapy. I didn’t want to force you into it.” There wouldn’t be any point in attending any sessions, if Bucky would stay guarded.
You understood his hesitance, too. The mandatory therapy he went to a few years back was hard for him, not only because of the topics he had to deal with, but he didn’t feel emotionally safe or comfortable with the appointed professional.
“I disliked my assigned therapist.” Bucky pointed out, with a slight eye roll. “There are hundreds of therapists in this city. I’m sure there’s at least one that I could connect with.” Suddenly, he shook his head. “Or hell with how much I like a therapist, it should be about me connecting with you!”  
He let go of your hands and cupped your face instead.
“I wonder-” he leaned forward, closing the distance between you. “I’ve been wondering, if I didn’t fuck up by signing those divorce papers so easily.”
He did it without much questioning. Which only strengthened your notion that he was repulsed by you and couldn’t wait to be as far from you as possible. You didn’t blame him.
“I understood that. After what I’ve done.” You whispered. 
A single tear rolled down your cheek, stopping on Bucky’s thumb. 
“I couldn’t look you in the eye, because I was so ashamed. I wanted to give you a chance to find someone worthy of you.” More tears flowed.
Bucky tenderly wiped them away.
“I don’t think I’m worth a single hair on your pretty head.” He said, resting his forehead against yours. “I signed those papers, because I thought you were going to find happiness with someone else. That you wanted to build a life with someone else.”
“I don’t think that’s possible.” You would shake your head, if Bucky wasn’t holding you in place.
If his hold didn’t feel so overwhelmingly wonderful.
“Why not?” Bucky asked, incredulously. “You’re the most amazing, kind, smart, beautiful-” 
“Because I’m in love with you.” You blurted out.
Your eyes widened when you realized what you said. Scorching shame mixed with a sudden wave of cold fear as Bucky slowly pulled away and stared at you in shock. 
He was still cupping your face, though.
“Say that again, baby?” Bucky’s tone was a whisper, like he was afraid he’d burst some magical bubble if he moved or spoke louder. “Please,” he squeezed your cheeks slightly.
Maybe the best choice would be to take those words back. Or to start listing all the arguments to why it didn’t matter. But you couldn’t lie to Bucky. You never could. Especially not when he was looking at you with those beautiful blue eyes, filled with hope.
“I love you, Bucky,” you confessed. “I never stopped loving you.”
Tears streaming down your face were warm, but they felt much colder when compared to the warmth of Bucky’s lips on yours. 
He kissed you with reverence and despair, like the first gulp of breath after drowning in murky waters for much too long. There was nothing but his closeness, beckoning you like a flare in the darkness. You followed the coaxing of his lips, the unspoken vows he sealed with his mouth. 
You weren’t even fully aware of your body moving, yielding to Bucky’s smooth maneuvers. Until the full weight of him rested on top of you. 
He provided both that shield of safety and heavy temptation that had your legs spreading to accommodate him.
“I never stopped, either.” Bucky croaked out as he broke the kiss; his lips still brushed against yours as he spoke.
“I love you so much. So much, baby.” It crushed your heart to see his own cheeks glistening with tears. “Please, can we try again? Let me mend it. Please.” He begged.
Bucky sounded so helpless and so hopeful at the same time. If your heart was set in cold stone, it would still shatter for him like a fragile glass. 
“I should be the one mending it,” you pressed your fingertips to his cheek.
“Us. We’re going to do this together,” he briefly closed his eyes, leaning into your touch. 
“Always together,” you agreed and tipped your lips upwards, tempting Bucky into another kiss. 
Months of distance surely added fuel to the fire of need, but Bucky’s touch always had the power to ignite your desire. Him being on top of you, the kiss deepening, his hand traveling down your side - your body responded instantly. 
You wrapped your arms around him; one hand combing through his hair, the other mapping his broad back. Your legs were already spread to accommodate his hips between yours, but as Bucky continued to kiss and touch you, your knees drew up higher and your hips rolled against him.
Bucky’s responding grinding was most welcome, but he suddenly froze. 
“Baby,” he groaned, almost in pain. “I don’t want to ruin the moment, but if you keep doing that I’m going to lose it.”
“Need you,” you whined. 
You grabbed a fistful of his hair and slipped your other hand beneath his blue henley. You bit your bottom lip as you looked at him and rocked your hips into his once again.
“Need to feel you!” 
For months you were deprived of any intimate touch, somehow not in the mood to even give yourself a release with your pitiful toys. To even think of anyone beside Bucky ever touching you like that made you nauseous. And you missed it so much!
Missed the way Bucky played your body. The way he felt inside of you. 
“Bucky, please!” There was urgency in your tone that made Bucky snap to attention.
His gaze held yours for a moment longer, as if assessing that you were as sure as you sounded. A glint brightened his steel blue eyes and he swiped his tongue over his bottom lip in the most sensual way. That had your clit pulsing wildly. 
“You always beg so prettily,” he murmured against your skin as began chaining kisses along your jawline. “I’ve got you, baby.”
Bucky braced his weight on his metal arm as he used his other hand to pull up the layers of your tulle skirt. You shivered, nipples pebbling, as his touch shifted to the inside of your thigh and wandered upwards. 
He pressed the pads of his fingers against your throbbing clit, finding your panties already damp. It wasn’t a novelty how quickly your body responded to Bucky’s ministrations, but it seemed that longing for him sped up the process. 
Bucky swallowed your moan in a messy kiss as he pressed harder on your nub. While you loved the way he sometimes drew this pleasure out, how long he could spend just fingering and licking you, it wasn’t what you needed at the moment. 
You dropped both of your hands to his hips then slid them between your bodies to fumble with Bucky’s zipper.
“Fuck!” He cursed, dropping more of his weight onto you when you freed his cock out and wrapped your fingers around him. 
“I’m afraid I won’t last long this time,” he groaned, tugging the fabric of your panties aside. “I’ll make it up to you, baby, I promise. But, fuck, it’s been so long since I felt you-”
“Uh-huh,” you nodded fervently, not really listening to him. 
All your focus was on that throbbing need that spiked even higher as you guided the tip of Bucky’s cock inside you. 
It was everything - the stretch of his girth spearing through your neglected pussy, his scent and warmth, his mouth sucking on your neck, his moan at the feel of your tight walls gripping him - that had your body seizing in the most rushed climax. Already, while he was barely halfway in. 
You dug your fingernails into Bucky’s hips as your legs shook; your upper half curling up, face buried in the crook of Bucky’s neck to muffle your cries of pleasure. Your walls clenched so hard it was almost painful, then fluttered in a crescendo of aftershocks. 
“Sorry, sorry,” you babbled, falling onto your back and squirming as the orgasm continued to tingle in every part of your body.
“Sorry?” Bucky choked on breath. “My girl cumming for me so fast is an ego boost beyond any other,” he chuckled. 
He always had the ability to make you fall apart rather quickly, but that was a new record. Provided by suppressed sexual tension and emotional connection you were deprived of for so long. 
“Don’t worry, baby,” Bucky cooed as he continued to slide into your fluttering cunt, “I’ll give you more.” 
He shifted his hand, so that his thumb brushed over your swollen clit. He moved with no rush, but each of his thrusts was deep, nearly painfully so. As if Bucky sought more of that connection; needed it as fiercely as you. 
As promised, he made you cum again. Then shuddered within your embrace as he followed you over the edge. And though your heart was thundering in your chest from the exertion, it was the first time you felt complete and at peace since a very long time. 
You welcomed Bucky’s full weight as you laid spent, your hands drawing soothing patterns on his back. His cock was still nestled inside of you; neither of you wanted to lose that intimate connection too soon. You rested, listening to each other’s breathing and soaking in the comfort of being together. 
When Bucky fucked you again a while later, it was more languid and sensual. He made breathless vows of love, curling his metal fingers around your throat and squeezing just enough to spill more of your warm tears. He confessed his need for you in his life as he increased his pace, tilting your ass with his other hand, so he could spill deeper inside of you. 
In the morning, as he woke up early with the intention of going to the bakery and getting fresh treats for your family breakfast, there was so much brightness in Bucky’s eyes. So much love and happiness, like on the day your son was born.
As you looked at your own reflection in the mirror in his bathroom, you saw the same spark in your own eyes. 
544 notes · View notes
fxrmuladaydreams · 3 months
Text
missing oscar (ls2 + op81)
Tumblr media
switch!logan x sub!reader x dom!oscar (poly relationship)
request: Phone/Facetime sex with Logan and Oscar- I have two different ideas for this so you can choose which you like best: you’re with one of them in person and decide to phone the other and give them a show- or the boy you’re not with in person phones to tell you what to do with the other, he’s guiding you through everything as he watches and pretends it’s him you’re touching
wc: 1760
notes: alrighty, this was originally a request for logan weekend (yes all the way back in december) but i had saved the request with the intent of making it a full one shot, and months later i have, so i hope you enjoy. i also deviated a bit from the request, i’m sorry 😅
warnings: !! INCLUDES SMUT, MINORS DNI !! phone sex, dom/sub dynamics, oral (fem receiving), unprotected sex, brief videochat sex, talk of punishment
punishments (the sequel)
It was expected for the Australian Grand Prix to be a big deal for Oscar. It was his home race. Of course his face was plastered on billboards for weeks leading up to the race. But none of you had expected it to be this big.
He’d gone back to Australia early, to take some time to spend with his family, while also working on some of the other promotional stuff for the race. He was modeling for the Australian Esquire digital cover for March, and he had somehow ended up recording messages for the train up to Albert Park? It was all a bit much for the poor Australian driver.
You’d opted to stay with Logan, the two of you choosing to meet your boyfriend in Australia closer to the race, giving him time to settle in. Though you loved having one boyfriend with you, it was impossible to hide the fact that you missed the other, and frankly so did Logan. You both longed to have Oscar back with you, and cursed the fact that he’d had to go early.
You spent Logan’s brief time off in the US, visiting his family. You loved being able to see him open up more in his home, seeing him let the stress from his job roll off his shoulders while he let himself relax.
You spent the days with his family, accompanying them on different outings, sailing on their boat, dining at all their favorite restaurants. You went with Logan to the gym, he insisted he needed to keep his exercise routine up, and frankly you enjoyed admiring him as he worked out.
The evenings were spent cuddled up together in a hotel room. You’d asked him if he’d rather stay with his family, but he simply grinned and shook his head.
“If we’re with my family we wouldn’t be able to have our own fun.” He winks.
You lay on the bed together, letting the television play some show neither of you are really paying attention to. His hands trail up and down your back as yours draw random patterns on his chest. You glance up at him to see he’s already looking down at you. You laugh softly when his cheeks flame up and he moves his gaze back to the television.
You tilt his chin so that he’s looking back down at you.
“What are you thinking about Lo?” You ask.
He shrugs. “How lucky I am to have you. Both of you.”
You give him a soft smile and move up to kiss him. It starts off soft and sweet, as per usual with Logan. His hands rest on your hips, squeezing slightly when you straddle him. As the minutes tick by, the kisses grow in intensity, what was soft pecks has turned into a full on make out session. You tangle your hands in the blonde hair at the back of his head, grinding against his lap. He groans into your mouth, keeping a firm grip on your body against his.
“I need you Logan.” You moan against his lips. You let your hands travel down the expanse of his bare chest. You whine, pulling away from him. “I need both of you.” You pout.
“Let's give Os a call then, huh? It should be the morning for him.” Logan suggests, reaching for his phone.
You roll off of him, laying by his side as Logan finds Oscar’s contact. He quickly calls Oscar, holding the phone to his ear, waiting for an answer.
“Hey Os, how are you doing?” Logan asks. There’s silence for a minute, then Logan speaks again. “Yeah, we miss you too.”
You smile and reach out for Logan’s phone. He leans away from you, standing up and walking to the foot of the bed.
“In fact, we really miss you. Someone’s getting needy without you.” He teases as he smirks at the small pout that graces your features.
“I wanna talk to him Lo.” You tell him.
Logan places the phone between his ear and his shoulder and reaches down to grab your ankles. He pulls you down to the end of the bed, causing a squeal to escape from your mouth.
There’s another few moments of silence on Logan’s end as his hands wander up your legs, pushing the shirt, Oscar’s shirt, you’re wearing up to reveal your panties.
Oscar had always been the more dominant of the three of you in your relationship, with Logan falling into the switch category, and you the sub. You knew Oscar had to be unhappy with what Logan was about to do. Sure he was okay with the two of you having sex while he was away, he’d told you that himself, but to be made to listen as Logan got the both of you off while he was on an entirely different continent? There was no way this was going to end well for the two of you.
All thoughts of stopping this melt away when you feel Logan’s fingers prod at you through your panties, brushing against the damp patch that’s started to form.
“She’s so wet Os.” Logan says into the phone, talking as if you’re not even there. “Wish you were here to feel her?” He laughs into the phone. “Here, I’ll let her tell you how needy she is.” He pulls the phone from his ear, and presses the speaker button before setting it down on the bed next to you.
“Tell Oscar how much you need him.” Logan instructs you as he slowly pulls your panties down.
“Y/n. Behave.” Oscar says firmly through the phone.
“I- I don’t- oh!” You yelp when you feel Logan’s tongue against you. A hand quickly falls to tangle itself in his hair. He continues licking at your folds, occasionally letting his nose brush against your clit. His eyes are full of mischief as he looks up at you from between your thighs.
“Feel’s so good Lo…” you whine, lifting your hips up to meet his mouth.
“What’s he doing to you Y/n?” Oscar asks. You know he knows, he has to. He’s spent countless nights with you leaning against his chest, his hands holding your legs open as Logan devours you like his last meal.
“He’s- he’s eating me out.” You moan softly.
“Tell Oscar how good it feels baby.” Logan says before taking your clit in his mouth.
“It feels so good Os, so good.” You grind against his face. “I wish you were here Os, I wish you could play with us.”
“Y/n, you’re not being a very good girl.” Oscar practically groans.
You can picture him in your mind, his boxers pushed down just far enough to free his cock from them, his hand stroking himself slowly.
“You’d better not cum for him.”
Oscar’s warning strikes something in the both of you. For you it’s the want to please Oscar, to keep him happy, to be his good girl. For Logan it’s a challenge, the need to see if he can make you fall apart for him while you’re being told not to bubbles up inside him.
Logan’s tongue makes quick work of you, slipping into you as his arms lock themselves around your legs, using his strength to male sure you can’t pull away.
“Logan! Logan!” You tug harshly at his hair, but to no avail.
He rolls his eyes back as you pull at his hair, as if you’re just encouraging him to keep going.
“Logan, you’re not going to like what happens when I see the two of you again.” Oscar says, his voice breathy.
He pulls himself away from you to stand up and look down at you. “Maybe. But why not have some fun while you’re away, huh Y/n?” Logan grins down at you.
He tugs his sweatpants and boxers down, kicking them away. He wraps a hand around his cock and pumps himself a few times. “If you want me to stop we will. I won’t do something you don’t want me to.” Logan tells you. You know he’s being sincere, that your sweet boy would never want to do anything to upset you, but you don’t miss the glint in his eyes that returns. “Or, tell me you want it. Tell Oscar you want it. That you need it and that you don’t care what he says.” He slowly pulls you down the bed even further. He lifts your legs so that your ankles rest on his shoulders. He softly taps against your clit with the head of his cock. “So tell us what you want, baby.” Logan coos down at you.
“I want…”
“Be a good girl Y/n.” Oscar reminds you.
You look up at Logan, a smirk on his face.
“I want you Lo, I need you.” You tell him.
He’s quick to push himself inside you, making you gasp as you take his deep thrusts. The stretch is intense, it usually was with both men, but the clear desperation in both you and Logan sent you both into a foggy haze, filled only with the desire to be as close to the other as possible.
“Logan!” You moan out, your head rolling back against the pillows.
“No, I want you to moan for him.” Logan grunts. “Moan for Oscar.”
You yelp when you feel him hit deep inside you, repeatedly hitting your g-spot.
“Oscar, Os, fuck! It feels so good!” You moan as you feel yourself getting closer to your orgasm. “I need to cum Oscar. I have to cum.” You tell him.
“Don’t cum for him Y/n.” Oscar’s warning is drowned out by a cry from your throat, quickly followed by a series of deep groans from Logan. He slowly pulls himself out of you, sighing at the feeling. He drops one of your legs from his shoulder and reaches out for his phone.
“Let’s show Oscar what a mess you are baby.” Logan says. He switches the call to FaceTime and holds the phone in front of your pussy, giving the camera a view of his and your cum dripping out of you. He then pans the camera up to your face. You’re still trying to catch your breath as your eyes slowly blink at the camera.
“Apologize to Oscar baby.” Logan tells you.
“I’m sorry Oscar.” You whimper. “I’m sorry I was a bad girl.”
“You’re both in for it when you get here.” Oscar says, already planning out your punishments.
“We can’t wait.” Logan grins, ending the call.
890 notes · View notes
asteroshearts · 5 months
Text
Date Night
Tumblr media
Itadori tags along for one of your date nights and wonders how you have a completely different Nanami Kento than the rest of the world.
Nanami x Reader
Tags: she/her pronouns, public nudity?, third wheel itadori
Tumblr media
"Good evening, we apologize for the wait. Thank you for calling Gyomei's Ginza branch. How may I help you today?"
"Hello." You could never get sick of his voice. "I have a reservation for Nanami at 19:00. I know it's last minute, but can we add another person?"
"That can be done: we can add another chair to the table you selected," the hostess responded. Grinning wildly, you turned in the passenger seat and met your fist with Itadori's. "Do you have any special requests for this party member?"
"Don't include the drink course for him," your husband stated. Broken beams of white light from the street lamps came and went across his glasses as he drove by. "He's a child."
"Of course, will this extra person need a high chair?"
A gasp rang in the car.
"That won't be necessary." Quickly shutting off the call, Nanami huffed as you burst out into giggles at Itadori's sputtering.
"Aw, he's our son, Kennie."
"Nanamin!" his pink-haired student cried from the back seat. "Why did you say that?! Now they're going to think I'm seven or something!"
"You are a child." The man didn't even bother to glance at the rearview mirror.
"Maybe we should've gone with the long con," you teased. "Do you think they would've given us a discount if we said that Yuji-kun was twelve? That could save us a bit of money at a place like this!"
"Do you think I'm broke?" Nanami scoffed before pressing down on the accelerator, taking off in Tokyo.
Tumblr media
Itadori hadn't initially planned to crash your date night.
Although they had finished the assignment efficiently, Nanami noticed something was up with the teen despite how quickly they exorcised the curse. From the boy's slouched posture and tucked shoulders, Nanami easily got the boy to confess what was on his mind.
"Oh…it's my grandpa's birthday today…" Eyes facing the ground, his voice suddenly grew quieter. "It's the first time I've ever had it without him."
It would've been so simple to say his monotone condolences, take a step away, and move on with his day. However, one call to you later, you had no problem with inviting Itadori along your night with your husband. In fact, you were even more certain you had married the right man when he asked permission to bring his student and help take Itadori's mind off his late grandfather's birthday.
But, Itadori didn't want to third-wheel at his pseudo-teacher's date, wouldn't that be kinda weird?
Nanamin seemed just, so – well – cold. Don't get him wrong, he enjoyed the man as a mentor, but to tag along for a date? He wasn't sure how the blond managed to score a pretty girl like you as his wife, but he didn't want to spend a night with you while Nanami silently ate at his side.
However, when he brought it up to the group chat that Nanami might be paying for his meal at this place called "Gyomei", Nobara yelled at him loud enough that he could hear it through text. A Michelin-starred and free meal was something a teen boy like him couldn't pass up.
"Um!" Itadori called out to you after Nanami had parked in the underground garage of the high-rise you were going to. "Thank you again for inviting me!" Pink coloring his cheeks, you had mentioned earlier when Nanami picked you up that if they didn't allow reservation modifications, you would just let the deposit go and find another spot to have date night at. Not only were they in the most expensive area of Tokyo, but he knew from Gojo's blabbing that Nanami's coveted date nights were never a spontaneous event. They were planned weeks, even months in advance, to get you to the best venues, restaurants, and events. To think that you had just easily let him drag along…touched him more than you realized.
You chuckled at his attempt to bow in the backseat, folding your legs so you could turn in your seat. "It's no problem at all! It's always so fun to talk with you, Yuji-kun! Good thing they let us add another chair though, I've been wanting to try this place forever."
Although, he wondered why you weren't making an effort to get out of the car. Nanamin had parked a while ago, and you still haven't opened your door. Were you waiting for him to pay for your parking spot?
"Yeah! Gojo-sensei tells me these places usually don't allow modifications for reservations."
"Oh. That." Your shoulders fell before a large smile broke out on your face, laughing at your own joke. "Let me tell you a little secret, Yuji-kun." Leaning in closer and lowering your voice, you confessed, "We lie to Gojo."
Huh?
"He wants to crash our date nights all the time, but Ken would rather eat rocks than invite him," you said with a laugh. "So we lie and tell him it can't be done."
Door opening on your side, you perked up as light flooded your car and you turned you head up to gaze at your husband holding the door.
"What are you laughing about?" your grumpy husband asked. Although his voice was dull and drab, Itadori wondered how you managed to brighten up so much just at the mere sight of the blond man. He was even more confused at how you only stepped out of the car after Nanami had opened it, so much more different than the blond he knew who was strict and hated doing anything beyond the required effort.
To the Nanami who told everyone to drag their own baggage, this seemed like night and day, yet here you were, not even lifting a finger.
Where was the real Nanamin?
"Not at you," you reassured, slipping out as Nanami stepped back slightly. "At Gojo."
Face souring as if he had eaten a lemon, he quickly told you that he didn't even want to think of the white-haired man tonight, not when it was your night. "If you wanted to laugh at clowns, I should've taken you to the circus instead."
Holding on to his arm, you looked up at your husband. "Well then, good thing we have Yuji-kun with us, right? At least someone will laugh at my jokes today."
Exhaling tiredly, Nanami pushed up his glasses to hide the small quirk of his lips.
"Itadori-kun, what are you waiting for? Get out of the car."
Eyes widening, he jolted in his spot, clumsily opening the door and trying not the hit the car next to you. "R-Right!"
"Aww, maybe you should be the gentleman and open the door for him."
Rolling his eyes beneath his round glasses, he placed his hand over your hold on his bicep. "Do you think I open the door for everyone?"
In the background, Itadori watched as you were eye-to-eye with your husband.
Oh, he realized. It's still Nanamin. It was just that you got special treatment.
Tumblr media
"You were a sorcerer too?!" Yuji shouted in the restaurant, far too loud for your comfort.
"Itadori-kun!" Nanami snapped from beside you, wine glass held up to his lips. Gasping at his mistake, he quickly scanned the restaurant, eyes skimming across lavish tables draped with silky white cloth, dainty lighting up above, and flower bouquets scattered across the room, but thankfully no wandering or surprised eyes from other patrons that were caught up in what he had yelled out.
"Sorry…" he said, dropping his eyes to look at the first few courses in front of him. Sighing, now Nanami was even more glad that he selected the most secluded table in the restaurant, far away from the other booked tables where everyone got an obstructed view of you three, but where he could see everything in the room.
You waved off your husband's irritation and squeezed his hand underneath the table. You waited until his knitted eyebrows relaxed a bit before you even thought of looking away.
"That's alright, Yuji-kun." You had met him before this, but you were sure that you had given off the impression of someone who was pampered and privileged as you opened up the door for Nanami and Itadori that one day in nothing but a simple chemise (that Nanami covered up before the teen's eyes) and your face mask on with your hair up. Certainly not battle-ready. Not to mention, you had introduced yourself as another office worker, leading Itadori to believe that was where you two met.
"You didn't know," you said understandingly before your eyes softened. "That's actually how Ken and I met — Oh, he was so different back then. He actually gave me a whole box of poetry inspired by our favorite emo bands back in — "
"Darling," he said sharply, rather than affectionately.
Laughing off the intense aura Nanami was giving off, you continued. "You know, I come from a pretty old sorcerer family. We were a big deal back in the Meiji period, but we all died off since then." With a shrug, you added, "My mom never wanted me to be a sorcerer anyway, so I guess it all worked out that I ended up quitting after graduation."
"Huh?" Itadori tilted his head in confusion. "If your mom didn't let you, how were you able to join Jujutsu Tech?" With those old coots around every corner, it was harder to get into JJ Tech than leave.
Barking out a laugh, you grinned at the pink-haired teen. "Cause I thought I was sooo edgy back then. I thought I was being so cool." Then, suddenly — you grew pacified as the onslaught of memories hit you. When you spoke up next, your voice was a lot quieter. "I was obsessed with being different and finding myself, I thought…" When your memories conjured up a certain brown-haired boy you had lost once upon a time, you faltered. "At graduation, I realized I ended up losing a lot more than I had discovered."
A large hand landed on your thigh, and you were only called back to earth after Nanami had given your leg a quick squeeze. Nothing suggestive or intense, but as you focused on the warmth of his palm and the feather-like touch of his fingers brushing across your skin, you focused again on the present.
"I was just lucky and landed myself a good job. My brother-in-law was one of the co-founders of a well-to-do startup, and they got me a cushy position, so I'm more than happy with what I have now." Placing one of your hands on top of Nanami's you made sure to point those last words at him, just to assure him. Righting yourself up to push these memories behind you, "And besides, I'm sure Ken has the short end of the — "
Slam!
When you blinked the splatters from your eyes, you realized what had happened around you. A tripped-over waitress was hands and knees on the ground, three dishes of your lamb roast had scattered across the polished wooden floors amongst shattered plates, and furthermore, your pristine button-up shirt was warm and drenched in dark red wine sauce.
"Shit," you muttered into the quiet air, and that was all you needed for chaos to descend from every corner. Itadori was yelling something in your ear, your husband was quickly trying to pat your shirt dry, the tearful waitress was extremely apologetic on her knees, and all while the owner of the establishment came rushing forward to see what the commotion was all about.
"What is the meaning of this!" the man roared, red in the face before whirling in on the girl. "Hima — !"
"M-Ma'am, I-I'm extremely sorry," she said with her head bowed while she was still on the ground. "I hope that you can please forgive me — "
"Hey," you said easily. The last thing you wanted was for a young girl to cry. "It's alright," you tried to speak up against the overlapping voices.
"Please forgive us," the owner said, head bowed as well while he gave her a nasty glare from the side. "She's new here. I assure you that this behavior is unacceptable here, and I'll be sure to — "
"Hey," you sternly spoke through. "It's fine. Really. Everyone makes mistakes," you said gently, keeping your eye carefully on the young girl. "And it's just a shirt. This will come off." Tilting your head up toward the blond man who was worriedly hovering around you. This was something that he gifted you. "This stain will come off, right?"
Giving you a quick nod, Nanami carefully pulled out the strands of hair attached to the side of your neck from the spill. "If it doesn't, I'll buy you a new one," he said immediately.
Quirking up your lip at him, you said, "That's unnecessary. Like I said, it's just a shirt." Catching the girl's eye contact, you said calmly, "Everything's fine. Please go patch your knee up." You excused her.
The boss seemingly wanted to argue, opening his mouth to argue as the girl thankfully nodded, hidden behind a curtain of her hair before she rushed away, but the sight of your husband's dark stare from over your shoulder, as he stood large, muscled, and broad, shut him up.
"Where's your bathroom?" you asked. Your shirt was becoming transparent and sticking uncomfortably.
The owner looked extremely apologetic again. "It's currently closed for cleaning, but I'll let my employees know — no more than five minutes — !"
"That's alright," you repeated shortly.
"Go get my wife a laundry bag and a towel." The owner certainly wasn't going to argue when your husband stood like a pillar behind you. Holding his clean hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, he breathed carefully. "As fast as possible."
"R-Right away." With a bow, the owner made another uneasy promise of covering your dry cleaning, restaurant bill, and that he would send someone to clean this up immediately.
"Kennie," you called. As the spill cooled, the sauce stuck to your skin and was starting to become oily and coagulated, overall unpleasant the longer it lingered. Cringing, you said, "I don't want to wear this shirt any longer, can you help me?"
No further words were needed. With a quick flash of movement, almost as fast as how he took down curses with his ratio, Itadori watched as the older man pulled his blazer off his body and stood to hold it up around you like a curtain.
The man's large arms were nearly encircling you, muscles flexing as he tilted his body and blazer to give you all the privacy you needed to change. Facing the ceiling-to-floor windows that gave you the grand view of the Tokyo skyline, you began unbuttoning your shirt.
Although Itadori caught a peek of the top of your lacy black bra, he quickly averted his eyes with pink cheeks, both out of shame, and with how Nanami's gaze could've set him on fire.
"You can put your shirt here," Nanami gestured, nodding toward the back of his chair. Nodding, you quickly dropped your wet shirt out of your hands, allowing Itadori to see the LEMAIRE tag poking out from the folds.
You patted yourself clean with the cloth napkins you had around the table, and you thanked Itadori as he handed you his. Once you cleaned off as much of the spill as possible, your bare shoulders finally met with the sleek silk lining of your husband's jacket. As you slipped your arms around the oversized jacket sleeves, Nanami finished helping you button up his jacket.
Taking a knee, the blond man cleaned up your chair before he let you sit down. The blazer was comically oversized on you, giving you broad shoulders from the sturdy padding, and the lapels gave you a low cut where your bra could still be seen, but it was better than nothing.
The blond man let out a deep sigh. If he wasn't in public, no — if you two were the only people at the table, he wouldn't waste any time to tuck his face in your shoulder or rest his head on your lap even.
"Darling," Nanami started, and immediately Itadori was shocked at how the stern and reserved Nanami seemed so soft. "This date's been a mess, I'm sorry — " Weak even, against your presence.
"Why are you apologizing?" you said with a chuckle. "The date has barely even started yet! And now we get free food!"
Giving you a frown he added, "What's the point if you had to be embarrassed like this?" Beautiful brown eyes peered up at you, and you swore you could never get sick of the sight, not even to this day.
"Embarrassed? I've done a lot more humiliating things as a high schooler — willingly too." With a grin, you reached over to pinch his high cheekbone. "And I love wearing your clothes anyway."
"I — "
"Nothing a shower won't fix," you interrupted him by grabbing his face and leaning over to give him an Inuit kiss. "And what's the matter with one 'ruined' date?" Holding up your hand, you showed off your grand wedding and engagement ring. "You locked me down anyway," you said cheekily. "I'm not going anywhere."
Yet the blond man looked regretful anyway. Ashamed that he made your night anything less than wonderful.
You wondered where it all came from, this insane pressure to give you what he deemed as a perfect life — the perfect adulthood, rather. Perhaps it was from how you constantly repeated how much you valued and appreciated him when he was being bogged down by competitive coworkers who walked all over him.
Or perhaps it was from the look on your face as you sat next to Haibara's body in the morgue, as the light slowly dimmed from your eyes.
Heart swelling with true love, you couldn't resist pulling the man forward for a real kiss. One deep and hearty, skin against skin, until space had never existed, and you could get your atoms to touch.
"Um..." Itadori squirmed uncomfortably in his seat.
Did you forget he was here?
903 notes · View notes
sonderessence · 8 months
Note
What abt a
e42 miles x spiteful blk fem spider reader
so what if miles (1610) cheated on reader with gwen (😒..) and to get revenge on him for cheating on reader with.. gwendolyn.., we get with his earth 42 self!
(if you could make this a series i would literally cry of joy.)
Angst for 1610 Miles (IM SORRY I LOVE YOU POOKIE😭☹️☹️🩷)
Fluff and Romance for 42 Miles (🤭🩷)
DONT HIT MY LINE! ...
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
1610!MILES & 42!MILES X READER!
WARNINGS: vulgar laguage (cursing), ✦ CONTAINS: 1610!miles being a bitch!!
a/n: imma be honest, i am such a gwen slander after the movie (still love her tho) 😒 but i so love this idea !!
layout inspo/creds: @hiimayee the best miles fic writer!! :3
NOW PLAYING: I HATE U - SZA
part one. ✦ part two ✦ part three
Tumblr media
your boyfriend 1610!miles had been acting strange since he saw gwen after all these years, but you just shrugged it off as him being happy his friend was back in his dimension.
you never thought that your suspensions were true when you found your now ex with his "friend" behind your back.
you looked around the predominantly empty library in search of your boyfriend miles, who was nowhere to be seen. it was highly unlikely for him to be late to anything.
maybe something was last-minute? you would go ask his mother, rio, since you go to her for everything in the more frequent months since miles had been acting — odd — but you doubt she would know since her and her husband were out of town.
grabbing the pile of books you and miles you used to study for the test you knew you were going to fail, you scurried your way you the hushed library.
the sky was temperate, the perfect temperature for the park you thought, smelling the fresh, cool air — but focus! miles has to be somewhere around campus. you stuffed your books it your bag and made your way to his dorm, maybe he was still asleep?
you made your way to his dorm and softly knocked on his door, careful not to wake him. there was no answer. "miles?" you called to the door. again, no answer.
you pulled out your phone from your bag and went to his contacts. maybe he was sick or just skipped school? you had fussed at him the week prior to get more sleep, since he always came knocking at your window to late at night.
wait, should you call him? he's probably busy. and with that thought, you put your phone back in your bag and made your way to the morales house. it wasn't far from the school you two attended, so getting there wasn't a problem.
you knocked on the front door, once, twice. where is he? "miles!! you home??" you heard footsteps from the other side and the door opened to see miles who looked like he was in a rush. his hair everywhere and shirt backwards.
"hey! you okay?" you asked, your voice laced with concern for the boy.
"yeah." he said, his voice coming out hoarse. he cleared his throught. "m'fine, wassup?"
"you were s'posed to meet up with me at the library." you meant to sound playful, but your words came out more of a scoff. "look," he started. "i just forgot."
"forgot?? miles, you could have texted me! i was fuckin' worried about you!" you were furious, crossing your arms with a frown. "you done?" he asked with an eyebrow raised — you could see the twinge on annoyance in his eyes and you could hear it in his tone. "am i done?" you scoffed "are you done running off and not checking up on people??"
he didnt know how to answer that. "look, i'm hella busy right now, we can do the study thing or whateva later." he pinched the bridge of his nose. "fine." you muttered as you walked out the door.
Tumblr media
a/n: how we feelin' about the first chapter?? i might have gone all out but part two is otw!
TAGS: @kazustqrzz, @kxllanxtdoor ( the tags are being annoying 😒)
©bachirasegoist, 2023 — do not steal or copy works
922 notes · View notes
w2soneshots · 2 months
Text
Toddler -W2S
Words: 0.7k+
Warnings: none.
In which you and Harry enjoy a holiday in Dubai with your toddler.
a/n: Currently got major baby fever so here's some dad bog content🤭. Enjoy!💓
Tumblr media
Liked by wroetoshaw and 1,017,349 others
y/username: living the dream☀️🌊 @wroetoshaw
-comments-
gkbarry_: you look incredible get in my bed
-> y/username: 🛏️🏃‍♀️
faithloisak: enjoy my lovelys🫶🏼
taliamar: cutest family ever!🥹💗
y/nfanpage21: I love this sm
user2104853: the third photo is adorable🩵
Over a year and a half ago me and Harry welcomed our little boy into the world. So far it's been incredible and I've enjoyed every minute of being his mum, even through the tough parts his little smile would make the hardships completely disappear in an instant. Harry is also an amazing dad, it's like he was born for the role. A few months ago Harry surprised me with a week long trip to Dubai, and what is our first holiday as a family of three. I was extremely excited and almost immediately called Faith to get advice on what I should pack for Ollie, which is what we ended up naming him.
We arrived two days ago and are already having the best time. Yesterday we spent all day at the beach then went for a nice dinner, in which Ollie slept in his buggy the entire time. Today we're going to the Dubai aquarium, getting some lunch and going shopping. I woke up to the sound of giggling, I pried myself from Harry's grasp and reached forward to grab the smiling baby from his travel cot. I placed him between me and Harry in the bed then drifted back off to sleep. I woke up an hour later, reached over to the nightstand and grabbed my phone to see a message from Harry saying he'd gone out to grab some breakfast from downstairs. I got up and took a picture of Ollie surrounded by the white fluffy bed sheets.
Tumblr media
y/username just posted a new story!
I quickly got dressed while Ollie slept and Harry soon came back with breakfast. When we were all ready we left the hotel to head to the aquarium. We rented a car the first day we arrived, since Ollie has to sit in a car seat plus we'll be spending much less on Ubers. I drove (since Harry despises driving) and we were soon parked outside.
Harry pulled the exited toddler from his seat, and we headed inside. Ollie seemed to be absolutely mesmerised by the sea creatures (especially the 'big scary sharks'). When we'd walked around the entire aquarium we left to go get some lunch since we were all hungry and Ollie was getting quite restless and in desperate need of a nap. We went back to the car to grab the buggy from the boot then walked to one of the nearby restaurants.
We sat down to eat our lunch as Ollie soundly slept. As me and Harry finished up our food Ollie woke up, now full of energy and hungry. We'd ordered him some plain chips so he ate them along with some fresh fruit. Which they seem to have lots of here, probably because of the hot weather.
Then we paid and made our way to Dubai mall, which thankfully has air conditioning. I happily looked through some shops while Harry followed me with the buggy. "Almost done?" Harry asked, very clearly bored. I turned around and shook my head jokingly "almost." I said with a smile. "M- mummy?" Ollie babbled. "Yes baby?" I replied squatting down in front of him. "I wanna go- the pool." He smiled. Harry chuckled and I glanced up at him "ok, let's go." I said and a look of pure excitement spread across his face.
Tumblr media
Liked by wroetoshaw and 719,238 others
y/username: my toddlers new fixation: sharks😂🤍
-comments-
tobjizzle: looks like so much fun! Hope you're having a great time guys❤️
-> y/username: we are ty uncle jizzle💞
faithloisak: so stinking cute🥺
y/nfanpage21: the mum fits are👌🏼
user50172932: those burgers omfg
When we arrived back at the hotel we got straight into our swimming costumes and headed down to the pool. We found some deck chairs and put our things down, then (after smothering Ollie in suncream) all three of us got into the pool.
Tumblr media
y/username just posted a new story!
Later... "I'm so lucky." Harry whispered, as we lay in bed and Ollie lightly snored in his cot. I smiled "you're so cute." He pulled me into a sweet kiss "I mean it, I'm so lucky to have you and Ol, I love you both so much." "And we’re so lucky to have you Haz."
214 notes · View notes
lunajay33 · 27 days
Text
Lost
•🗝️🕊️🩶•
Summary: Carl Grimes was your best friend since birth, when he died the world turns grey, he was your partner in crime so you shut yourself off from the world, no one could get through, until one day you’re wondering Alexandria seeing Negan in his cell, maybe he could be the one to break you out of this hell
Pairing: Negan Smith x f!reader
Content: Age gap, Depressing themes, Consoling, Spicy themes later on, breeding kink, character development
•Masterlist•
Tumblr media
I’ve been working around Hilltop helping out Maggie with what I could just for the week, Carl convinced me to come even though I really wanted to stay with in back in Alexandria, I just have this gut feeling for some reason, I work on cleaning up the garden thinking about the memories Carl and I shared, the first day of kindergarten when we were terrified of meeting other kids but he assured me he wouldn’t leave my side, or in grade 3 when boys would pick on me and he’d come to my rescue just like I did for him, then the world went to hell and everything happened so fast, I was out at the park with my parents, Carl and his mom and uncle Shane when crowds of walkers entered the park, screams erupted and blood went everywhere, Carl grabbed my hand and brought me back to his mom and Shane, I looked for my parents seeing them limp and covered in blood on the ground, I couldn’t mover until Carl snapped me out of it, Shane got us out of town, from then on Carl and I made sure to be eachothers safety net, partner in crime
We looked out for eachother after the farm fell, cuddling together on the road during cold nights, bunking together when we found the prison, I cared for him when his mother passed and did everything I could to help out with Judith, then the prison fell and I thought I’d never see him again, I found Carol, Tyrese and Judith on the road after a few days of being alone, everything happened at terminus and when I came out of the cabin and saw him again everything felt whole again like I had been missing a piece of me, on the road he kept me sane and grounded and I loved him for everything he’s given me, he’s my best friend, my brother even and no matter what this crazy screwed up world threw at us, we are there for eachother to support and love and comfort
I’m broken out of my thoughts when Maggie crouches beside me, plucking some berries that have ripened
“What’re you thinking about sweetie?” She asked nudging my arm
“Just all the moments I’ve shared with Carl, I guess I’ve just been feeling nostalgic today” I hear the gates open behind us, I turn excited to see if it might be Carl, he said he’d come pick me up at the end of this week here at Hilltop
I rush over to see Daryl enter first on his bike, I keep searching looking around for any sign of Carl, I look at Daryl confused when I find no sign of him
“Daryl, where’s Carl? He said he’d come”
He got off his bike clutching the strap of his crossbow, what he usually did when he was anxious
“Daryl?” My stomach feel sick somethings happened
“He tried…..tried to save some guy, nobody knew, not until he got worse” he grumbled out
“What…..what do you mean he got worse? Daryl? Daryl please tell me he didn’t……” I could feel my throat tighten my chest aches
“He got bit, he’s gone kid, I’m so sorry” he pulled me into his chest when I felt my knees weaken
I don’t know what to do, this pain is all consuming, that part of me that felt whole and complete with him just got ripped away in seconds, I feel so hollow and angry
“No no no no, he can’t be gone, please Daryl say you’re lying, just say this is a nightmare and I just need to wake up” I scream pushing back but seeing that defeated look on his face made it all real, he’s really gone, my best friend is dead
Tumblr media
The drive on the back of Daryl’s motorcycle on the way back to Alexandria passed in a blur, there was no thoughts except Carl, nothing else just him and the way I loved him and the way he loved me, and I hate that I have to think “loved” and not “love” everything about him will be in the past now and it hurt, it hurts so damn bad, I don’t even know how to process this
The gates of Alexandria opened and Daryl drove in parking his bike infront of our house, it was just me Daryl, Rick Michonne, Judith and…….Carl
“Come on, get ya something to eat” Daryl said guiding me up the stairs, Daryl and Maggie always felt like more than just members of the group to me, they were more involved in my life than the others, they cared and noticed when I needed something, anything, but usually Carl would be the one to help me out
We got inside nothing has changed but it feels empty and lifeless, Daryl tried to get me to eat something but I just can’t, I go into my room downstairs across from Daryl’s and change into some sweats and one of Carls hoodies he gave me, it still smells like him, I can feel the tears run down my face all over again, when others died it still hurt but this is completely different, I’ve never felt like this before
I walk upstairs past everyone and go straight to Carls room, old comic books on his nightstand, some mess clothes strung over his floor, I laid on his bed when I feel something under his pillow, pulling it out it’s a letter with my name on it, I suck in a deep breath not feeling ready yet, I’m not sure when I’ll be able to read this, I tuck it into my hoodie pocket wishing I never had to get a letter
Tumblr media
2 months have past and it’s been complete hell, I thought it was bad when I first found out, that maybe with some time I’d be able to grieve and try and find another hope to live, that’s what everyone tried to say at least, Daryl and Maggie kept checking on me every so often, telling me about what’s been happening trying to obviously distract me, Maggie was happy that they took down the saviours but livid that Rick let Negan live who now supposedly was a prisoner in a cell somewhere in Alexandria, Daryl would sit with me in silence sometimes just his presence sometimes helped, but only for a moment until Carl entered my thoughts again
I haven’t been able to eat, only if Daryl forced me to eat but I’ve only been able to keep down a little bit at a time, an apple, some water, but that feeling of hunger just never came, and I haven’t been able to sleep right either, I stay up all night just watching the stars thinking of all the times Carl and I would star gaze, he’d point out every constellation making me feel like an idiot but it was fun……..was
I get up from Carls bed changing into a fresh hoodie scared I’ll forget his smell, I walk to the mirror noticing the deep dark circles under my eyes and how my cheeks have sunken, my eyes blood shot, the hoodie is completely baggy on me now, freshening my hair into a less ratty ponytail and left the house, it’s late at night and the only people out are the people guarding the wall
I wander around until I’m sick of walking sitting on some steps that led down to some underground basement but it feels more private than just sitting on the street, feeling the cool night air it helps calm me down a bit, I push my hands into my pocket feeling the letter, I’ve kept it with me this whole time just waiting for the moment I get enough courage to read it, it’s time
I pull it out and unfold it looking at his familiar handwriting
“Y/n, my dearest friend, my best friend, the girl I’ve loved my whole life, I’m sorry have to write this, I’m gonna miss you and everything we could’ve done, but i don’t want you to wallow because I know if I lost you I’d be a wreck so please, don’t waste your life of precious moments on thinking about me, about reminiscing on every single detail of this pain, I love you more than anything so please for me…….live, find someone who will love you, find peace in the fact that I’m somewhere watching over you, because if anyone deserves the best in this screwed up world it’s you, I’ll always be there y/n just be happy”
But I don’t know how to be happy anymore, I’m glad it’s night time because I’m crying so hard I can’t breath, I feel sick, I feel like I need Carl
“Hey, you okay?” I hiccup and wipe my tears looking down the steps to the barred whole in the bricks where Negan stood looking up at me
“Sorry, I thought I was alone” I fold back up the letter and place it back in my pocket, I know the things Negan has done, but when I first met him when he visited Alexandria I felt oddly calm around him, un like everyone else
“You look like shit honey” usually when he said remarks like that he’d laugh in the persons face but he sounded genuine, if that was possible for Negan
“Thanks”
“This about Carl?” I go stiff hating enough that it plagued my mind but when others talked about it it just makes everything worse
“I don’t know what to do, how to live without him” I say feeling my lip tremble as I lean back against the brick wall next to the stair case
“I know how you feel, lost my wife at the start, the pain doesn’t go away, you just gotta learn to live with it” this side of Negan was really shocking me
“Carl was my best friend, he was there since day 1, I don’t know how to move on, how to deal with the pain, I feel like I’m dying, I look like I’m dying…..apparently” I look at him at the last comment
“Damn, I always thought you were his girl, he was pretty protective of you”
“He always did that, another thing I’ll miss…….how did you move on, after your wife, how do I sleep again, how do I eat, how do I not wanna die and be with Carl again, how do I…..be whole again” I wrap my arms around myself as if it would fix this feeling
“Don’t stop, Carl was a good kid and if you’re anything like him he’d want you to smile again, no one can fix how you feel, you have to find a reason to live, live for his memory”
“I’m scared” I whine sitting right infront of the bars of the “window”
“Of what?”
“That I’ll forget what he sounds like, that I’ll eventually forget what he looks like”
“You’ll be okay darlin, I promise you that”
I wipe more tears letting out a little embarrassed laugh
“Prisons really changed you”
“It’s given me plenty time to think, gets boring in here”
“I can……I can come visit you sometimes if you’d like?”
“Anytime darling I’m not going anywhere soon”
“Thanks for talking to me, I know I’ve been pretty much a mess”
“You’ve always been easy talking to you, only one to not seem scared”
“You don’t scare me Negan”
“Good, now go back home, take a shower and sleep” I nod before getting up to head home, when I get through the door about to head upstairs to Carls room but stop thinking about the letter, about what Negan said, I turn to go downstairs back to my room I haven’t slept in for 2 months, I shower and change into my own clothes, and for the first time in a long time I actually was able to sleep through the night
Tumblr media
The sun shines through my window waking me up, I groan feeling my stomach grumble, after my talk with Negan last night it actual helped a bit, maybe its because he’s not family like everyone else that’s been trying to help me but he’s given me some umph to work on myself
I freshen up before going upstairs and grab some toast to eat
“Hey kid yer up early” Daryl says as he leans against the counter across from me
“Yeah, I finally got to sleep last night” I mumble
“Well good, I’m going out on a run today ya need anything?”
“Ummm….if you come across any foundation or something my color could you pick it up?”
“Why would ya need that?” He asked obviously confused since I never wear makeup
“Never mind it’s nothing, be safe on the run” I say quickly picking up an apple and leaving the house
In all honestly after finally looking in the mirror and seeing the damage I’ve done to myself, seeing how sickly and sunken my features have become it’s gotten under my skin and made me feel a bit self conscious
I walk down the streets seeing Michonne walking towards Negan cell, I catch up with her before she gets there
“Hey”
“Hey sweetie it’s nice to see you out” we were stopped right before the stairs down to Negans cell
“Yeah I needed some air, what’re you doing?”
“My turn to watch over Negan, worst part of my day” she groaned
“Ummm I can take your watch, I’m not doing anything else”
“You sure?”
I nod feeling my social battery already dwindle from this conversation, nothing against Michonne, I love her it’s just all new again still, everything didn’t get fixed over night
“Okay but if you get sick of him come get me” she said before she left back to the direction of our house, I walk down the stairs and actual get into the basement this time, seeing him laid on his little bed in his cell, I pull a chair up closer to his cell and he finally noticed me
“Back for more darlin?” He asks sitting up
“Is it a crime to come visit you?”
“Nah, I’d rather have you sit and talk then some guard glare daggers at me all day”
“You can’t blame them but……but someone should give you a chance” I say as I keep my eyes focused on the apple I brought
“You eat today?” He asks changing the subject
“Yeah…….here I brought this for you” I say holding the apple through the cell bars
“You eat it, you need it”
“Don’t push me, I already ate and I know they probably feed you crappy food so please take it” he looked me over and it feels like my skin is on fire like there’s a thousand eyes on me
He stood up coming over to take it, his fingers graze my hands sending little shivers up my arms
“So how’d you become the “all terrifying” Negan?”
“Told you last night about my wife, after she passed I couldn’t take it I became angry at everything and took my rage out on everyone, hell I was a gym teacher before now look at me, I had everything when I ran the saviours, still hard to let go of this anger sometimes” he groaned as he bite the apple
“I understand that anger, my parents died right at the start and Carl was there for me through everything, he never left my side, I told him I’d stay here with him that I didn’t wanna leave him just even for a week but he said…..he said he’d be fine and he’d come pick me up, now I regret I couldn’t even get to see him in his last moments, just to be there to comfort him”
“Oh kid, have you spoken to anyone about this? Someone you’re more close to than a prisoner?”
“I can’t, they’re already worried enough and Maggie has her son and Daryl had the town to deal with, and I don’t know it’s easier to talk to you” I bit my lip trying to keep the tears at bay
“When does it stop hurting?” I ask looking at him for some guidance
“I don’t know darlin, might be awhile”
“I wish I could be angry, take out all this pain and turn it into rage so I could deal with it some how instead of wasting away”
“Damn hun you need some comfort from someone” I sighed looking at the keys dangling on the hook on the wall for his cell
“Will you?”
“You’re not worried about me holding you hostage so they let me out of this damn hellhole”
“Well are you going to?” I ask pushing the key into the lock waiting for his answer
“I’m not that much of a prick” I unlocked the door and entered as he patted the bed next to him, I sit next to him feeling his arm wrap around my shoulders
“Left the door open and everything” he laughed as I rest my head against his chest
“If you wanna go I won’t stop you, you did awful things but I don’t think you should be locked up like some wild animal”
“You’re too sweet for this world, probably haven’t been able to even experience anything you should have by now, what are you 20?”
“22, and no I haven’t experienced anything really, not like there was any time or opportunities”
“You didn’t even experiment with Carl even if he was your friend?”
“We had little pecks but that’s all we wanted, he’s like…….he was like my brother” I say sitting up to look at him, his hand slides from my shoulders down to my thigh
“Haven’t even tested the waters with yourself?” He asks as his voice gets deeper my heart racing
“A little but…..” his hand slid higher up my thigh
“But what darling?” His gaze was intimidating but I also can’t look away
“But I don’t know what to do” I feel extremely turned on but also really embarrassed, either way it feels better than a shell of who I am
“Tell me what you’ve tried” I go to tell him how I touch myself when the door to the basement slams open and there stands Michonne, she comes in squeezing my arm tight and drags me out of the cell locking it behind her
“Michonne you’re hurting me” I whine from her grip
“What the hell were you thinking he could’ve hurt you” she yelled, she’s never yelled at me before and it’s terrifying
“I…….he wasn’t going to hurt me” I have to look away, her gaze was intimidate too but not in the way I like, her stare makes me feel small and weak bringing me back to this empty feeling again
“You’re an idiot if you think he wouldn’t use you, let’s go” she pushes me out the door and up the stairs, I see Negan through the window, he looked almost defeated as me, but what shon in his eyes ignited a little fire in the pit of my stomach
I’m definitely coming back here to finish that conversation
Tumblr media
Part 2
Taglist: @lanadelnegan @lvrgirl6999 @aubiewabie33 @negandevotee @mordilwen-of-mirkwood @sweetbutpsychobutsweet @heidiland05 @sadgenderfluidmaniac
228 notes · View notes
imtryingbuck · 8 months
Text
I'm sorry
Tumblr media
~ gif not mine credit to owner ~
I’m sorry.
Summary: Readers the daughter of Tony Stark.
Word count: 1091
Warning: Angst, I’m sorry. Tony’s not a good dad – again im sorry. Death.
Masterlist
Tumblr media
Being the product of a one night stand was something I was always embarrassed about. It was one night, one night he spent with a woman he barely knew or remembered the name of and nine months later I was born. When I was 6 my mum married a man who after a year gave her the ultimatum, me or him. She chose him so I had to go and live with a man I met a couple of times. I loved it at first but slowly became numb to living with him. Being the daughter of Tony Starks greatest mistake was bittersweet.
~~~
“For God sake Y/N stop asking! You know I won’t be able to. I’m busy”
“I-Im sor-“
“Get out!”
“Tony don’t shout please I’ve got a headache”
“Sorry Pep”
I ran back to my room with tears rolling down my cheeks. All I wanted was him to come to my school to watch the play I was in.
~~~
“Dad can-“ 
“Not now pumpkin I’m busy with Pepper”
“Bu-“
“No Y/N this is important. Go and bother Nat or Wanda”
Dejected I went back to my room to blow out the candles neatly placed on my own birthday cake I had made.
~~~
“H-hi dad I was wondering if you could come to my class to tal-?”
“I can’t pumpkin I’m going to be busy”
“O-oh okay”
~~~
“Dad can you come to my lacrosse game next week? I’ll be starting”
“Of course pumpkin, wouldn’t miss it”
“R-r-really?”
“Umhuh”
The night of the game I was ecstatic, at the start of the game he hadn’t arrived but put it down to him finding somewhere to park. I’d won the final goal, I wasn’t even bothered by my teams’ reactions, I just wanted to see my dad’s. Turns out he was busy having dinner with the team.
I gave up trying to get my dads attention after that.
~~~
Pacing the hallway of his office I gathered all the courage I could muster to raise my hand and knock on the door. 
“Come in”
“Hi dad I was just wondering if me and you could go to this new restaurant in town, and well you see I need to talk to you about something important” I rushed out before he could interrupt which is something he loves to do with me.
“Slow down pumpkin, when?” He chuckles.
“Tonight, if possible?”
“Of course darling”
“O-oh okay meet you outside common room at 6?”
“I’ll be there”
For the rest of the day I couldn’t wipe the smile off my face. I cleaned my room, showed and got dressed. I made my way to the common room where I came to a halt.
“Going out with the family to have a lovely dinner at the new restaurant in town” Tony’s face was bright as he looked at Pepper, Peter and Morgan. 
I was standing there watching them go into the elevator, frozen. I could feel eyes on me and that’s when I looked to see the Avengers looking at me with pity in their eyes. Before anyone could say anything, I turned on my heels and walked back to my room. I’m ashamed to admit I cried.
Months had gone by with little to no interaction with my father, the times we did talk it was awkward and uncomfortable for the both of us.
~~~
“-I’m really sorry Miss Stark-“ the doctors lips continued to move but it felt like I was under water and his words were muffled, I simply nodded along. Scrambling out of the chair I made a beeline towards the entrance of the hospital desperately needing fresh air. I tried ringing my dad but to no surprise he didn’t answer.
Numbly walking back to the tower, the realisation of how alone I truly was hit hard. And with the truth swarming around my head, I just couldn’t hold the tears at bay anymore. Maybe an hour had past when I finally wiped my tears and continued the walk back home.
There were screams of joy and excitement when I arrived, ‘happy birthday’ banners and balloons surrounded every corner of the place. Since I hasn’t even been invited to Morgan’s birthday party I headed straight to my room as soon as I hit the bed I was out like a light.
The following week past in a blur but for everyone around me they didn’t see anything different about me. Surprisingly it was Tony that realised something wasn’t quite right.
“What’s going on with you Y/N? You’ve been walking around this place like a zombie” 
“Why do you care?”
“What do you mean? I’m your dad”
I couldn’t help the roll my eyes did. “Sure”
“Don’t talk to me like tha-“
“I’m dying dad, got a few weeks left in me so just please continue to leave me alone.” The whole room had fallen silence at my confession. I couldn’t stand looking at my dad opening and closing his mouth like a goddam fish, so I turned around and walked straight out.
~~~
“Tony, Tony we found her! Hurry up” Steve was panting whilst trying to get Tony off the floor. 
The jet hovered just inches off the moss-covered ground when Tony opened the door and leapt out. He ran straight to the cabin that once belonged to his father. Knocking the door down he searched the small home for his daughter, when he came to the closed bedroom door his heart hammering in his chest, his hands trembled with every breath. The team stood behind slightly to the right of him all wearing the same expression. Nervous with a slight look of hope.
The creak of the hinges revealed his oldest daughter laying in the bed. Tony was never a religious man but in that moment, he was begging to God that his baby girl was just asleep as he took tiny steps towards the bed. 
The team waited with bated breath for Tony and you to emerge from the room. That was until they heard the heartbreaking cries and pleading from a broken man. They bowed their heads and wept.
It had been hours since Tony had found you, he held you close to his chest crying and begging you to wake up. “I’m so sorry I f-failed you my pump-pkin, please come back! I’m sorry. Please. I love you. I’m sorry I let you down time and time again my pumpkin”
Tony’s life was never the same after the loss of his greatest accomplishment.
Tumblr media
~ banners credit goes to @sweetpeapod ~
719 notes · View notes
the-froschamethyst4 · 9 months
Text
Teething baby
𖤐Pairing: Husband! Ghost x Wife! Reader
𖤐Pronouns: She/Her
𖤐Warnings: Pure tooth rotting fluff, child, married couple, crying, daddy Ghost, flirting, teething child
Ghost was taking care of the baby while Y/n was away for a Girls Trip
He hasn’t been able to do much on the father experience because of him working
But he does his best to take care of her while she is starting to teeth
—————
Tumblr media
——————
7:30AM
"So, you have everything? Food, milk and my number in case something happens?"
"Love, don't worry everything will be okay. I have everything under control."
"But I'm just worried, I'll be gone for a week."
"I know and you'll have a blast, you'll honestly probably forget we even exist...you'll run off with a Supermodel and start a new life."
"I would never, don't say that," Y/n hits his chest.
"I know, but everything will be okay, and I'll call if anything happens, okay?"
"Okay."
"Good, now, go enjoy the sun in Bora Bore," Ghost said, while he had his hands placed on his wife's waist.
"Okay..." she looked at the playmat that was in the middle of the living room. She walks over and bends down to her baby girl, Luna. "Ohh my baby," she says as she picks up her 3-month-old daughter.
Y/n kissed her daughters' puffy cheeks. "I'll be back Saturday," she told her daughter like she could understand her.
Y/n placed her daughter back on the playmat. She grabbed her bag and stood on her tippy toes to kiss Ghost's lips.
"Bye."
"Bye-bye, love," he kissed her again.
She walked outside and saw her best friend's car sitting in the driveway waiting on her.
"Sorry." Y/n apologized.
"Girl, don't come on, this is going to be EXCITING!! Hi, Simon," she greets Simon.
"Hi, Lydia," Ghost waved bye to both girls.
He back stepped inside the house and looked at his daughter on her stomach hitting the playmat. He rubbed his temple wondering what to do first then he caught a whiff of something.
"Guess my first thing to do is change that bomb of a diaper you have," he said, picking her up and giving her another whiff to make sure it was her, "Ohhhh! Yeah, that's you," he said as he went upstairs to her nursey to change her.
---------
A few minutes later
Ghost sat on the couch with Luna on his bare chest, she was trying to put her fist in her mouth, but Ghost kept moving it from her mouth. She whined anytime he moved it.
"Stop," he grumbles. He was looking down at his phone trying to get advice from Price. Price is a father for 5 and took care of his children when his wife is gone.
Luna is Ghosts and Y/n's first child and sometimes still need help. Ghost was wondering what he did with his kids when his wife was gone?
Price: *We usually have fun like park, waterpark, shopping and sometimes playdate, but since she's still a baby, you probably can't do much*
"Great," he said to himself. "I'll think of something for us to do, while mama is gone."
Ghost looked down at his child and smiled at her. He kissed the top of her head and picked her up. He robbed his nose on hers and kissed her forehead.
"Maybe we can go...to grandmas and grandpas house? Actually, maybe not...they weren't happy when your mama started dating me and married me...maybe not. I do need groceries though," he said to her.
Ghost took her to her nursery and got a small dress on her and placed her in her baby carrier and he got his shirt on, jeans and grabbed some shoes.
He grabbed his keys and drove them to the store. He made sure she was strapped in the car as he drives. Every now and then looked in the rearview mirror to make sure she was okay.
She was asleep, she needed it, she kept Y/n and him up all night, so she needed it along with him. If she stays asleep for a while, he could probably get a nap in as well.
He pulled into a parking spot and got her out of the car. He placed her carrier in the cart and walked in, she was still asleep as they walked through the aisles.
"Mmmm~" Luna stirred in her sleep, he stopped the cart and looked down at her waiting for her eyes to open.
"Hi, baby," he coos.
*WAAAAAAAAAAAA*
Ghost jumps and looks down at her crying face. "Hey, hey, it's okay," he picks her up from the carrier. "You have some strong lungs on you, pretty girl."
"Oh, is everything okay?" A girl came walking around the corner seeing Ghost comforting his daughter.
"Yeah, she's...probably hungry..." he digs through the bag getting a bottle. He brings it to her mouth, but she pushes it away.
"Come on, baby," he says.
"Are you sure maybe, she needs her diaper change?"
"No, she's got a bomb on her, I would know."
Ghost looks at and saw something in her mouth, a peak of something white, he started to worry. "What is that?"
"Oh, maybe I can help, I can help a single father with his child," she pushed herself against him, but Ghost moved away from her.
"I'm married, I'll just call me wife and ask," he put her back down in the carrier and walk out of the store heading back to his car.
He placed her in the car and sat in the backseat with her as he called his wife.
"Ghost? Is everything okay?" She asks, worried about her husband and child.
"I don't know, I went to the store, and she was asleep, but she woke up screaming and crying. She wasn't hungry or needed a change, but I saw in her mouth something white. I couldn't get a good look at it, so I don't know what it is." Ghost panics.
"Simon, check her mouth again," poor Luna was still crying and somewhat hard to hear her. He pulls down her bottom lip and saw the white thing again.
"I think...it's a tooth."
"MY BABY HAS HER FIRST TOOTH AND I'M NOT THERE!!" Y/n yells.
"It's okay, little mamas, I'll take care of everything, I'll get her-"
"Teething supplies are at home, Lydia bought some when I was pregnant with her. She gave them to me at the baby shower."
"Okay..." he looks at her crying face as Y/n hung up and Ghost gave Luna a stuffed baby toy to chew on till they can get home.
---------
"Y/n? What's going on?" Lydia asked.
"Simon, called...Luna has her first tooth coming in."
"OH, THAT'S EXCITING!!" Their other friend Zoe came sitting next to them. "I remember when Xander got his first tooth."
"Simon was a little nervous..." she said as the girls laughed.
"Ladies...I'm-"
"Jack Oscar, the famous Supermodel."
"Oh...Supermodel..." Y/n said, while looking at Jack who was very toned. She put her sunglasses back on her face.
"You...look beautiful," Jack said.
"I'm married," Y/n said, crossing her legs and leaned back in her chair.
---------
Ghost got a teething toy for Luna, it was light pink with different textures on it, she snatched it from him started to teeth it.
He chuckled when she looked satisfied chewing on it. Ghost opened the drawer and saw the different chewing toys for her, some were purple and blue with different textures on them, others were circular and had ridges in them to scratch her gums.
"Wow, that's a lot."
*WAAAAA* Luna threw the pink one and made grabby hands for a new one, Ghost dug around and picked another random one, but she threw that one, she wanted to be picked up.
He picked her up and showed her the drawer filled with teething toys. She made grabby hands to a blue one, he let her get it and she started to chew on it.
He took her back to the playmat and laid her back on it. She smiled rolled back on her stomach. Ghost sat on the couch turning the TV on and watched his daughter to make sure she wouldn't do anything.
Luna stopped chewing and looked back at Ghost, she cried for her daddy's attention. He smiled and crawled to his daughter getting down to her level, he laid on his back as she got up top of his chest and she playfully hit his chest.
"Oh ah, ow, you got me," he jokes with her. She smiles and falls on his chest. Ghost chuckled and then he heard soft snores come from her, he looked at his chest and saw her asleep.
"Well, if you're going to sleep...I am too..." he said, putting his arm behind his head and his hand rested on his daughters back.
--------
10:45PM
Ghost woke to the TV still playing and Luna was still asleep on his chest, he smiles and picked her up gently and slowly so he wouldn't wake her up.
He placed her in her crib draping a blanket on her, he turned on the baby monitor and he was about to close the door and he left the lamp on letting her sleep.
"Good night, little baby," he whispers before shutting the door. He rubbed his temple and heard his phone ping. He looked down and saw some pictures Y/n sent.
Ones where she was at the beach, her legs in the photo of the clear blue scene, her drinking from a coconut, her friends in the back having fun and then one with Jack Oscar in the back holding Lydias waist.
"Is that Jack Oscar?" He asks. "A Supermodel..."
Y/n sent another one, she was in a fishnet dress with a black two piece underneath the fishnet dress, she looked incredibly sexy in it. Ghost smirked knowing he has this beautiful, lady as his wife.
Simon: *You look beautiful*
Wife: *Thank you...is everything okay there?*
Simon: *Just perfect...she's in bed asleep...I gave her a few teething toys and she's been calm since we've been home. I saw Jack Oscar was there*
Wife: *Yeah, he's apparently there for a photoshoot, him and Lydia seemed to be getting along*
Simon: *Supermodel...has he said anything?*
Wife: *He said I was hot...*
Simon: *P.O.S. don't worry love...I got hit it on today by some woman, she called me a 'single father'*
Wife: *Bitch*
Ghost laughed. He got in the middle of the bed and looked down at his phone.
Wife: *Did you get groceries?*
Simon: *No...I'll go back tomorrow. This time I'll be more prepared*
Wife: *Yeah and avoid any thirsty and hungry women*
Simon: *I'll try, love...good night*
Wife: *Good night, Simon*
Ghost turned his phone off and placed it on his charger and looked at the baby monitor seeing Luna was on her back instead of her stomach.
He smiled and closed his eyes finally going to sleep.
---------
1:00AM
*WAAAAAAA* Ghost's eyes shot open, and he looked at the baby monitor seeing Luna was awake, she sat up grabbing the bars of her crib with a blood curdling scream.
"I'm coming, baby," Ghost rubbed his forehead and started to make his way out of his bedroom to her nursery.
He pushed opened the bedroom door and saw her teary eyes.
"Alright, come on, baby girl," he picked her up and took her to the changing table, changing her diaper. Her cries soon stopped when he picked her up. He kissed her forehead and picked her back up and took her downstairs to heat up a bottle for her.
He had her in his arms, he grabbed a milk pouch and poured it in a bottle, he set it in the bottle warmer and looked down at his little girl.
"It'll be ready in a minute, baby," he said, kissing her puffy, tear stained cheeks.
The machine beeped, letting him know the bottle was warmed up. He tested the milk on his skin seeing if it was hot or just right, and it was perfectly fine.
He sat down on the couch, leaning back and propping her up so he could feed her. She suckled on the bottle as she looked up at him.
The bottle was done, and he placed the bottle next to him on the couch and put a towel under Luna's chin to catch her spit up. He patted her back and she spit up on the towel.
"That's why I did that, you spit up every time and half of the time we never catch it," he said, wiping her face with the clean end of the towel and tossed the towel in the laundry room.
He took her back upstairs but to his bed, he let her stay on Y/n's side of the bed. She rolled on her back and Ghost smiled down at her. He placed his hand on her stomach and closed his eyes.
--------
Friday 7:10AM
Luna was in Ghost's arms, he tossed her in the air and caught her, he wanted to hear her giggles.
"I'M HOME!!" Y/n announces into the house. Luna giggled and Ghost stood up quickly.
"Welcome home," he said, kissing her lips and kissing Luna's forehead.
"Thank you, handsome."
"Wow...your skin...it's beautiful." He chuckles.
"Thank you, now...I want my baby girl," she turns to Luna with a big smile and taking her from Ghost's grasp. Luna giggled when she was being held by her mama.
"How was it?" He asked.
"I should be asking you that...it was amazing."
"Same, I need to spend some more time with my lovely baby girl," he said, kissing Y/n's lips and his daughter temple.
"You understand how hard it is?"
"I never doubt you, love. I know how hard it is and I try to be there for the both of you but-"
"Work...I know..." She smiles and kisses his lips.
"I'm sorry, love."
"For what?"
"For not always helping you."
"It's okay, Ghost, I know and understand..."
"Anyways, come on let me tell you everything that happened on the trip."
"Okay," he smiles
457 notes · View notes
lialacleaf · 10 months
Text
To Care For A Woman
Chapter 4
Simon Riley x Reader
Tumblr media
Summary: You join the army as a last-ditch effort to avoid destitution, but when you sustain an injury protecting Lieutenant Ghost and earn yourself a medical discharge, you're stuck all over again. Or maybe not...
Warnings: Tension, Simon wants to care for you, small reader, a little bit spicy but not NSFW, man worrying about a woman's safety, typical cannon violence, deception, I'm sorry it's unedited...
Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4
Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8
You were beginning to feel like Simon was hiding something. When he went out on missions he was insistent that you didn’t contact him. At all.
You never once wondered if there was another woman involved, Simon was too good to you for it to be that.
He was just so closed off when it came to the topic of work, and you weren’t sure why. Maybe he was battling PTSD, and trying not to let it color your relationship.
It had been six months since you had married Simon, two of which he’d spent deployed somewhere. Your parents had asked if you were coming home for the holidays, and you told them you would be working.
They still believed you had a job. In a way you did. When Simon wasn’t home you did light house chores, now that Dr. Radcliffe had cleared you for more movement.
Your leg was still weak, and running was out of the question. You’d begged Simon to let you get a dog but he’d bit his lip, given you a pained look, and explained that it wasn’t fair to the animal if you couldn’t care for it properly.
You’d nodded in agreement but it had hurt all the same. You were lonely when he was gone.
“So what are we doing for the holidays?” You asked as Simon washed the dinner dishes and handed them to you to be put away.
He shrugged as he scrubbed pasta sauce off one of the plates. “Haven’t celebrated in a while,” he admitted, handing you the next clean dish.
“Do you ever visit your family?” You asked.
“Have you ever been to Cambridge?” He went about scrubbing the cup your tea was in.
“I’ve never been to the UK, just the parts of Europe the 141 has taken me. Is that where you’re from?” You asked in excitement.
“No, I grew up in Manchester,” he said, passing you the cup.
“Is your family in Cambridge now?” You asked, feeling as if the conversation had gotten slightly off topic.
“No.”
You blinked in confusion. “Wouldn’t it make more sense to spend the holidays in Manchester with your family?”
“It doesn’t have to be Cambridge, London is nice too,” he added, drying his hands on the spare dish towel. “We’ve got a few weeks to decide anyhow.” He gave you a quick kiss on the forehead before disappearing into the bathroom.
You gaped slightly, blinking in confusion. What just happened? Had he really just swept your questions about his family under the rug with the distraction of a holiday vacation?
Maybe it was only fair. You’d made no effort to introduce Simon to your parents, but that was different. You were a daughter, not a son. If your parents found out their little baby girl had been injured, and married off to some strange man, your father would blow a fuse.
You knew very little about Simon though. The only thing you knew about him was his strange relationship with Ghost. Why was someone as sweet as Simon even mates with someone like Ghost?
~
Simon had started taking you into town once a week. He didn’t like to keep you cooped up, and Dr. Radcliffe had warned him you’d end up in trauma therapy if he kept you isolated during recovery.
Simon was relieved you didn’t display much interest in going to the mall. You were perfectly happy to go to the park and pet dogs, or go to the bookstore for hours on end.
You were begging to accumulate a small library, and sooner or later he’d need to build you a bookshelf.
“Out for the weekly book haul I see,” Jesse, the store owner said as you approached her counter, most of your books in Simon’s arms. You grinned at her as she scanned your latest finds. “You’re practically keeping me in business at this point.”
You shrugged and gave Jesse a bright smile. “You had new stuff in the gardening section, thought it might be helpful for the herbs we just planted,” you said, flashing Simon a grin.
He didn’t give you much of a reaction, but that was normal when he was in public. He wasn’t exactly fond of strangers, but he tolerated Jesse for the free cups of tea she bestowed on the two of you when you sat down to read in her cafe.
She’d never asked for the details of your relationship with Simon, but she always chuckled softly when he handed over his debit card without so much as a grumble for your somewhat expensive taste in books. A man that supported his partner's love of books was a good man in her opinion.
Jesse placed your books in a bag and handed them to Simon with a smile, unbothered by his flat expression and aversion to talking more than what was necessary.
“Have you decided where you want to go for Christmas yet?” He asked as he helped you load into his truck.
“Maybe we should stay home this year. I was just thinking it’d be harder to travel with my leg, and you already don’t like crowds, I can’t imagine how busy London must be this time of year…” you trailed off as Simon buckled into the driver’s seat. “But I would like to put up a tree!” You added.
Simon raised a brow at you as if he were amused by your declaration. “A tree?”
“Yeah! A Christmas tree! And we could have some of your teammates over-“
“They’ll be with their families,” he stated quickly.
Your smile fell. Oh. Right. “Maybe just the Captain then?”
Simon bit his lip but nodded. Price was aware of the situation, and the least likely to spill the beans. He supposed inviting his Captain over for a holiday meal would be alright.
“Speaking of family,” you began carefully, “Can we stop by the post office next week? I’d like to ship my parents' Christmas presents,” you requested softly.
Simon glanced at you out of the corner of his eye. “Would you like to see your family?” He asked, and you shook your head.
“No, I…” you trailed off, unsure of what to say.
“You haven’t told them.” It wasn’t a question. He’d heard your phone calls with them. They still thought you were working for Price.
“It’s…it’s not that I don’t want you to meet them. It’s just that I don’t want them to worry, and I know that they will.” Simon nodded, grasping your hand gently in his. “I’ll figure something out…eventually.”
“I have to go for a mission next week, but I’ll be back before Thanksgiving. We can put up the tree when I get back. I’ll…leave the truck with you, you can make it to town on your own?” He asked.
Your eyes widened in surprise. You hadn’t expected him to even offer, but now that you thought about it, it was a little ridiculous to expect you to stay put while he was gone. It was your left leg that was injured after all, you could still drive.
“Yeah, I know the way. Thanks, Simon,” you said, offering him a brilliant smile.
“Just be careful,” he reminded you. He’d leave a pistol with you just in case. The holidays were always more dangerous. He was starting to regret not getting you that dog. He would have to look into putting up a fence, but that was a long term project that he’d need a longer break from work to accomplish. Like hell he was gonna pay some stranger to come out to his home where his wife was to do the job.
Once the truck was parked and your books were unloaded, Simon went about doing his chores while you made lunch. At some point you heard the buzz of his saw outside. He seemed to always have some sort of project going.
You couldn’t stop thinking about the other night as you went about piling chicken salad on two croissants. Why was he so closed off concerning his family?
You eyed you bedroom door, wondering if you should just leave it alone, or put your detective skills to work.
You left your plates on the counter as you slipped into your bedroom. Simon didn’t keep many personal items, therefore your nightstand was always a little more cluttered than his between your laptop, medications, and other odds and ends.
You weren’t exactly sure what you were looking for. All you really knew about Simon was his name and that he’d grown up in Manchester. Your search would likely yield little result.
At least that was what you thought until you were starting at a death record. A death record for Simon Riley, bearing the same date of birth and identification information that was on your marriage certificate.
“Y/n?” You jumped, your head shooting up to see Simon in his sweaty work clothes standing in the doorway. “Gonna hop through the shower before lunch…everything alright?” He asked, noticing how pale you’d gone.
“I…um, yeah, yeah I’m fine.” You sputtered, closing your laptop screen. “I’ll go finish lunch,” you said, limping back into the kitchen.
Simon watched you, his head cocked to the side, before he shrugged, and stripped down to get a shower.
You tried to ignore the knots forming in your gut. Simon Riley was dead, and you had no unearthly clue who this man was. Did Ghost know? Had he unwittingly sent you right into the arms of someone dangerous, or was Ghost well aware of who Simon really was?
Your hands shook as you went about finishing the lunch preparations, and you quietly set the table, hyper aware of the other person in the house.
Simon was still in the shower, you had time to go back for your laptop. You quickly made your way into the bedroom, lifting the screen as you sat on the bed.
Your eyes scanned over the obituary with concern. Simon Riley…served in the royal army…died in a fire…no body…wait…no body?
You scrolled down a bit until you got to the photo at the bottom of the page. It was your Simon. You felt your throat tighten.
Why was your Simon supposedly dead? It made no sense. The man in the picture, albeit a little older, was currently showering in the bathroom.
You scanned through the rest of the obituary, noticing the mention of his family. Each name was highlighted, and you risked clicking on the name of the previous Mrs. Riley.
You felt like you were going to hurl when you were greeted with an even more morbid obituary. His entire family was gone. Murdered. Stolen right out from under him. It suddenly made sense. His overprotective nature was simply a trauma response. It still didn’t explain the falsified death certificate, but it was a start.
It wasn’t until you were staring into the photographed eyes of Tommy Riley that it clicked.
Tommy had brown eyes, practically identical to Simon’s. There was one other person you knew of with those eyes. One other person who’s voice sounded so similar to Simon’s, even if it was a little rougher.
Was Tommy…Ghost?
AN: OOOOOH Ya'll excited? We get spicy next chapter...
Tag List:
@warenai @livynicole @ghostlythots @hilowhiho @mrmountainman @miamia89 @shiraya92 @crocodilefeet2707
@zzariyahchan @gaida-511 @misshoneypaper @soldierlass @dazaiscum @mockerycrow @kaysav608 @classygardencroissantcolor @innerskylover @kristalhi @hotaruteba @tzutology @sushiumex @l3xiluve @immajustlikeok
@iplayghoul @linoskitten11 @zollaris @whore-for-anime @migeuloharaslxt @blog-luvdance @embermdk @buttercupmuffins
@corpsebridenightamare @15382663884 @discowizard88 @strawberryjambrrread @lieblinqs
@waves-against-a-cliff @saturnknows @elliesbabygirl @vynz0ne @teapartydreams @thesinsoflust @vantedaes @berryjuicyy @lovergyal @01trickster10 @coolcatyarb @nirvanaaaonly @innerskylover @thriving-n-jiving @whoisjazy @yeoldedumbslut @vinithechocolatevampire @starlettemoony @die-prophetin @1234ilikecowsthanyoumore @emily-roberts @mokyoenthusiast
@betelrus @shiftedvoid @beebeechaos @bitchoftoji @katbug37
@thatgirlboss1 @homeofthe-80s-90s-andnow
@illyanam1011 @hrchyysnz @chxosangxl @animarix @happy-mushrooms @pearlm00n @cathnoneofyourbusiness @ray-rook
@novausstuff @copiasratscheese @i-feel-violated @itsagrimm
739 notes · View notes
ray4hotchner · 10 months
Text
Reckless
Tumblr media
❀ 𝕡𝕒𝕚𝕣𝕚𝕟𝕘: aaron hotchner x reader
❀ 𝕤𝕦𝕞𝕞𝕒𝕣𝕪: Y/N, a team member of the BAU, faces her past during a challenging case. Struggling to cope, Y/N's impulsive actions strain her relationship with Hotch.
❀ 𝕨𝕠𝕣𝕕 𝕔𝕠𝕦𝕟𝕥: 5.5k
❀ 𝕒𝕦𝕥𝕙𝕠𝕣’𝕤 𝕟𝕠𝕥𝕖: Hi everyone, I finally caved in and wrote something on my own. This is my first fic, so let me know what you think
❀ 𝕞𝕒𝕚𝕟 𝕒𝕔𝕔: @iyv-ray24
On Ao3
Normally, Y/N was one of the last people to board the jet after a case. Not this time though. She didn't wait for the team and drove straight from the sheriff's station to the airport once the case was wrapping up. It had been a couple of stressful days, and everyone was exhausted. However, Y/N was not only exhausted but also very, very pissed – pissed at the team, pissed at herself, but most importantly, at Hotch.
This case was not easy for any of them. Three girls between the ages of 9 and 13 were abducted, horribly abused, and killed before their bodies were dumped in different local parks in the city. The BAU was called in when the third child was missing, but unfortunately, they arrived way too late. Now, the fourth girl, Casandra Johnson, an 11-year-old, was missing.
Most of the times, Y/N wouldn't have problems with distancing herself emotionally from cases, but this one just hit too close to home. Her little baby sister was abducted from their front porch when she was 9. Y/N herself was only a teenager at that time, and she was the one babysitting her sister. Just a couple of minutes of distraction, and her baby sister was gone forever. They found her body a week later, and the man who killed her luckily got caught, but Y/N never forgave herself and lived every day with the guilt of letting her sister down.
Yep, the team knew all about this stuff. They were familiar with each other's messed-up pasts and traumas; they were like a close-knit family, after all. So, when Penelope started laying out all the details about the case, she could feel her teammates' eyes on her. Sure, it wasn't easy to stare at pictures of innocent little girls and remember what happened to her own sister, but that wasn't going to stop her from getting her job done. She was a pro at this, and as far as she was concerned, this was just another case.
She found herself in the tiny kitchenette of the jet, pouring a cup of coffee, when Hotch walked over.
"Hey, want some coffee?" she offered, but he just shook his head.
"You doing okay?" he asked, standing close because the kitchenette was so darn small.
"Why wouldn't I be?" she replied, knowing exactly why, but she wasn't about to show her feelings to him.
"You could sit this one out, you know.”
"Hotch, no way! Please don't even suggest that! These girls deserve justice, and I've got to see it through."
"I get it, but if things start getting too heavy and overwhelming, promise me you'll give me a heads-up," he said gently.
"You bet," she nodded.
They hung there for a few more seconds. Hotch's presence always had a calming effect on her, and she felt more grounded when he was around. He saw the tension on her face and he probably wanted to reach out and offer comfort, but he held back. So, he turned around and went back to his seat. She watched Hotch walk away and caught eyes with Emily, who gave her a knowing look. She was the only one on the team who knew how Y/N felt about Hotch. To this day, she regretted telling Emily, on a drunken night, that she had a crush on their boss. Emily had persistently encouraged her on more than a few occasions to confess her feelings, but she had consistently declined, fearing the potential embarrassment and awkwardness it could create between them. Emily smirked at her, but she only mouthed "Don't" before also returning to her seat.
The case was progressing as usual – examining the crime scene, talking to victims' relatives and potential eyewitnesses, and creating the unsub profile. Throughout the investigation, the team noticed Y/N becoming increasingly agitated. However, things took a sharp downward turn after Casandra was kidnapped. Y/N grew moody, neglected sleep and food, and immersed herself in reexamining the same files and evidence over and over again.
Y/N and Spencer found themselves back at the last crime scene, as Y/N insisted on revisiting it, when new information arose. Penelope added them to the group call and informed everyone that her research had led her to a man fitting the unsub's profile. She sent over his last registered address.
"We're nearby. It's not far from the last crime scene," Y/N informed the team.
"We'll meet you guys there," Derek said before they ended the call. Y/N and Spencer then drove to the address.
They parked in front of the house and awaited the team's arrival when Y/N spotted movement inside. She immediately called Hotch.
"Hotch, there's someone in the house. Maybe he's holding the girl in there. We need to go in. Now!"
"We'll be there shortly. You can't go in there without backup," Hotch cautioned.
"Spencer is here too."
"Agent Y/L/N, I said wait. That's an order!" Hotch's tone was stern.
"I'm sorry, I have to," Y/N replied, and with that, she exited the car and headed toward the front door of the house. Hotch heard Spencer shouting after Y/N before the call ended. Cursing under his breath, he instructed Derek to speed up.
In under 5 minutes, the team reached the unsub's address. The front door had been kicked open, and the team could hear Y/N yelling at someone.
"Where is he? Tell me! Where is your brother?" She was shouting, pinning a young man facedown on the carpet. Y/N's knee was pressed into his back, immobilizing him as she held his hands behind his back.
"Agent Y/L/N, that's enough!" Hotch's order rang out, and he turned to Emily, gesturing for her to take over. Emily walked over, cuffed the man's hands, and assisted him to his feet. The officers and the team exited the house. As they were leaving, Hotch turned to Y/N and said, "We will discuss this later."
Upon arriving at the station, Hotch instructed Derek and Rossi to interrogate the suspect's brother regarding the unsub's whereabouts. He told the team, except for Y/N, to leave the room the sheriff assigned to the BAU upon their arrival. Facing her, Hotch clenched his jaw, in order to stay calm.
"You are off the case," he stated in an unwavering voice.
"Hotch, no, I'm—"
"You. Are. Off. The case. Agent Y/L/N."
"That's not fair. We have the guy's brother."
"That's not fair? That's not fair? Are you really talking back right now?" Hotch's anger escalated.
"I said I'm sorry! But what if we would have lost our chance? That guy had his things packed; he was leaving!"
"I don't care if he was leaving or not! You can't act on your own in situations like this! You put yourself and Spencer in danger."
"We're fine!"
"Yeah, luckily! But you didn't know what awaited you behind that door. Both of you could have been injured or worse. Your actions were selfish and unprofessional. I don't want you anywhere near anything related to this case until we're back in Quantico. Do you understand?"
Y/N didn't even respond; she simply stormed out of the room. She headed straight to the bathroom, seeking some privacy to calm down. Splashing her face with ice-cold water, she leaned over the sink, taking deep breaths while still seething with anger. Just then, JJ entered the restroom. Like everyone else at the station, she had heard the heated exchange between Hotch and Y/N and came to check on her.
"Hey, are you alright?"
"I'm off the case."
"Maybe it's for the best, don't you think?"
"Not you too, JJ," Y/N replied, releasing a heavy sigh as she dried her hands and face. She walked past JJ and left the restroom, unwilling to argue with her as well. Although she was banned from anything related to the case, Hotch hadn't instructed her to leave the station entirely or return to the hotel, so she remained. In the breakroom, she sat, observing and straining to catch any updates. She watched as Derek and Rossi emerged from the interrogation room, but they refused to share information due to Hotch's orders. Naturally, Spencer and Emily also followed Hotch's directives, all for Y/N's own well-being.
Suddenly, there was movement as the team geared up, putting on their vests. Clearly, they had a new lead. Y/N swiftly rose, walking toward the team to grab her own vest, but Hotch halted her immediately.
"I told you that you're not allowed anything related to the case."
"Hotch, come on! Punish me with paperwork or anything else, but not like this, please!"
"No."
"Hotch, maybe you should—" Derek attempted to intervene.
"I said no!" Hotch's tone was firm as he locked eyes with Y/N. He could see the anger in her eyes and how she was holding back tears of frustration. With Hotch's final words, the team exited the station and drove away. Unable to hold back, Y/N retreated to the bathroom, shedding a few tears of anger. She knew she had made a mistake and was in the wrong, but the frustration and sense of being left behind lingered. Hotch should have been the first to understand the weight of guilt from not saving a loved one. Yet, he treated her as the issue, disregarding the missing child who might require the help of every agent for her rescue.
She let out a deep breath, a release that felt like she had been holding it in for days, as the team returned to the station with the little girl in Emily's arms. Y/N's gaze remained fixed on the heartwarming scene of the girl reuniting with her parents, embraces and kisses shared all around.
Mistiness gathered in Y/N's eyes once more, her mind drifting to how it might have felt to get her own little sister back all those years ago. Lifting her eyes from the heartwarming family reunion, her gaze locked with Hotch's, and it was as if he could read her thoughts. He took a step towards her, but she promptly spun around and walked away.
Hotch was not surprised by her reaction; he didn't even know why he had attempted to approach her. He did know, deep down, but he wasn't ready to admit it to himself, especially not at this moment. A few minutes later, he noticed Y/N storming out of the station, her bag slung over her shoulder.
"She said she'll be waiting by the jet," JJ informed Hotch as they both watched Y/N leave.
That was why she found herself being the first to arrive at the jet, a rarity. Normally, she'd take the seat in front of Hotch, and they'd dive into their paperwork during the flight back home. It was an opportunity to talk and maybe even steal glances at his handsome face. But now, she didn’t even want to hear his voice.
Instead, she settled onto the broad couch, the same one where Spencer often napped, and attempted to drift into sleep. Exhaustion from the past days quickly pulled her into slumber. She faintly registered the team entering the jet and briefly woke at takeoff, but she promptly turned away and slipped back into sleep, determined to avoid everyone, especially Hotch.
The jet's interior was dimly lit, and most of the team dozed off in their seats. Hotch occupied a couple of seats away from the couch where Y/N was deeply asleep, while Rossi sat directly in front of him. He observed her for a moment, noticing her curling up into a ball – she must be cold. The realization prompted Hotch to stand up promptly. He opened one of the jet's cupboards and retrieved a blanket. Quietly, he approached Y/N and draped the blanket over her, observing as she snuggled into the soft fabric. With the exception of Rossi, everyone else was already asleep, so his actions would likely go unquestioned by the team. Besides, he was merely helping a colleague, right? He lingered by her side for longer than necessary; her relaxed face was undeniably beautiful, and he wanted – no, needed – to savour it for just a little while longer. He was painfully aware that the only expression he'd encounter in her eyes when she woke would be resentment toward him. He would give anything to reach out and caress her cheek at this very moment. Eventually, he returned to his seat, and Rossi's gaze immediately landed on him.
"You're hopeless, Aaron," Rossi chuckled.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Hotch replied, his gaze shifting to the files before him.
"You know, she kind of has the right to be angry at you."
"You can't seriously think that what she did was right."
"No, I do not. It was actually really fucking dumb, but you're sort of being a hypocrite here."
"How so?"
"Well, yes, she made a mistake barging into that house on her own, and she acted impulsively. But so did you. Every one of us has made stupid mistakes at some point, and hers at least helped us locate the unsub. If it were any other agent, you would have let them join the rescue and handed them a pile of paperwork as punishment later. But because you have an emotional attachment to her and feelings for her, you were afraid she'd act recklessly again. You couldn't risk her getting hurt, like, say, jumping in front of a bullet – which we both know she would have. So, you left her behind. Not to mention, you understood why she acted the way she did. This case was deeply personal to her. Needless to say, you both acted like idiots."
Hotch leans back in his seat and lets out a sigh. He knows Rossi's right, though sometimes he hates working with profilers.
"We all want to protect the people we love, Aaron. But remember, she's still an agent, and this is her job," Rossi adds before returning to his files.
Hotch glances over at her and ponders Rossi's words. He realizes he definitely overreacted because it was you who put yourself in danger. He knows she's a great agent and can take care of herself in these dangerous situations, but just the thought of something happening to her makes his stomach drops.
It had been a couple of days since the team had returned to Quantico, and as Hotch expected, Y/N was avoiding him at all costs. She submitted her reports well before the deadlines, left the office earlier than usual – a rarity for her, as she was typically one of the last agents to leave. Hotch even noticed her falling silent whenever he entered the break room or the bullpen, and she seemed to find excuses to distance herself from him. This avoidance was starting to irritate him more and more. He missed the late nights spent doing paperwork together in his office after everyone else had gone home. He longed to hear her laughter and engage in conversations with her. He just missed her. While she appeared to be getting along fine with the rest of the team, her anger toward Hotch still lingered. He knew he needed to talk to her and explain his actions; he hoped that she might understand once he did.
So, as soon as he arrived at the office the following day, he made it a priority. Upon entering his office, he noticed Y/N's completed report on his desk, finished once again before deadline. He was aware that she was completing her work ahead of time to avoid any interaction with Hotch about the report. Without even glancing at the report, he stepped back out of his office.
"Agent Y/L/N, a word, please," he said, his tone possibly more agitated than he had intended. The rest of the team exchanged questioning looks as Y/N ascended the few stairs to his office. She knocked on the door, even though it was already open, and announced herself before entering.
"Close the door," Hotch ordered, his voice firm as he removed his jacket.
He had initially only wanted to apologize and explain his decision on the case, but seeing that finished report again ignited a kind of anger within him. Particularly because he knew how much she despised working on it in the first place. Now, she stood in front of him, alone for the first time in days, yet she didn't even glance at his face.
"You finished your work early again, Agent Y/L/N?"
"Yes, sir." Sir... she never called him 'sir.' He really wanted to hear his name from her. He tried to catch her eyes, but she purposely looked away. There was a brief silence before she finally spoke up, "Is there something wrong with it, sir?"
His emotions were getting the better of him due to her distant tone, possibly amplified by the frustration that had built up over the past few days. So, he responded with unnecessary sharpness.
"Yeah, there's something wrong with it. Do it again," he snapped, tossing the file onto the desk closer to her. For the first time in days, she met his eyes, her brows furrowed in irritation, though her voice remained calm.
"May I ask what was wrong with it, sir?" she inquired, striving to sound neutral.
"You may not, Agent! Get back to your work," he replied, his voice unintentionally louder than he intended.
Y/N stormed out of the room, doing her best to restrain herself from slamming the door behind her. She settled back at her desk, aware of her colleagues' watchful eyes on her, though no one said a word. In his office, Hotch couldn't help but curse under his breath. "Why did I do that?" he wondered. This kind of pettiness was uncharacteristic of him, yet there was something about her that could evoke such strong emotions from him, both positive and negative.
He struggled throughout the remaining day to focus on his work, his mind repeatedly drifting to thoughts of her. Glancing at the clock, he realized that the workday was drawing to a close. He had planned to talk to her today, and he was determined to do it before she left, especially since she tended to head out before the others. Stepping out of his office and peering down into the bullpen, he noticed Spencer packing up while Y/N and Emily waited. Derek and Penelope were already on their way to the elevator, and Rossi had left hours ago due to personal matters.
"Y/L/N, to my office, please," he called out in his strong voice from the top of the stairs before returning back into his office. Spencer and Emily exchanged glances, and while Y/N was clearly displeased, it was inevitable that she had to have a conversation with Hotch.
"You guys go ahead. Don't wait for me. I'll see you tomorrow," she said, placing her bag back on her desk before making her way up to Hotch's office.
"Sit down," Hotch says as she enters his office, gesturing to the free chair in front of his desk.
"For how much longer do you plan to keep this up?" Hotch asks in a plain tone.
"I don't know what you're talking about, sir."
Hotch rubs his face and lets out a sigh before continuing. "Cut it out! This whole 'sir' thing. You haven't spoken to me in days. It's affecting the work environment."
"I don't think it's affecting anything. I've been working efficiently, and my reports are always on time."
"I don't give a damn about your reports, Y/N!" Hotch exclaims, standing up and slamming his hands on the table as he leans toward her.
She stands abruptly. "Then there's no reason for me to be here if this isn't work-related," she nearly yells, matching Hotch's intensity. She starts to turn around, indicating her intention to leave.
"You're not leaving before we talk about what happened and clear this up!", he said and walked around his desk to now stand infront of her.
"There's nothing to clear up!"
"How is there nothing to clear up? You've been avoiding me since we got back from the case. You won't talk to me, you won't look at me—hell, you leave the room when I walk in."
Hotch's frustration was palpable as he stepped closer to her. "You think you can just avoid me and everything will be fine? You think you can act like nothing happened?"
Y/N's voice trembled with anger. "I'm doing my job, just like I always have."
"Your job? This is more than just about your damn job. We're a team, and that means communication and trust."
Y/N shot back, her voice rising. "Trust? Is that what you call it? You completely shut me out during the case. You made me feel like I can't make decisions, like I'm incapable."
Hotch's eyes blazed with frustration. "I made a decision to protect you, to keep you safe!"
"By treating me like a child? By belittling me in front of the team?" Y/N's cheeks were flushed, her anger evident.
"You were reckless, Y/N! You put yourself and Spencer in danger!"
"I had a lead, I had a chance to save that girl!"
"By charging into a potentially dangerous situation without backup? You're lucky nothing worse happened."
Y/N's fists clenched at her sides. "You don't understand. You never understand."
"Oh, I understand more than you realize," Hotch retorted, his voice dripping with frustration.
The room seemed to crackle with tension as their argument escalated. Each word was a jab, a release of the pent-up emotions they had been harboring. The distance between them had grown from physical to emotional, and they were both struggling to bridge the gap.
Suddenly, a knock echoed through the room, and JJ's head appeared in the doorway. "Oh, sorry for disturbing. I just wanted to say goodbye before I leave. Don't let me interrupt," she said, sensing the tension in the room, and then closed the door behind her. Throughout JJ's brief interaction, Y/N and Hotch's eyes remained locked on each other.
JJ's interruption seemed to inject a moment of calm into the charged atmosphere, allowing a slight easing of the tension in the room.
Hotch's voice broke the silence once again, this time with a calmer and more composed tone. "Believe me, I understand why this case held such significance for you. The entire team recognised that. However, that doesn't justify putting yourself in harm's way."
Y/N's voice softened, her frustration mingling with a touch of vulnerability. "I know it was reckless to charge in without waiting, and I've already apologized for that—I'm still sorry. But what you did was unfair. You left me behind. Aren't we supposed to be a team? How could you make that decision, Hotch?" Her eyes misted over, a mixture of hurt and confusion in her gaze.
Hotch's gaze softened as he heard the hurt in her voice. He took a step closer, closing the physical distance between them, and rested his hands on his hips. "Y/N, it's not about whether you apologized or not. It's about the fact that you charged into a dangerous situation without considering the consequences. In this line of work, we can't afford to act on emotions alone. We have to think logically, strategically. Acting solely on emotion can get people killed."
Y/N's eyes welled up with tears as his words sank in. She looked down at her hands, her voice choked with emotion. "I know that, Hotch. I do. But in that moment, all I could think about was finding that girl, saving her. It was like... I couldn't control myself."
Hotch took another step forward, his presence a comforting presence in front of her. He reached out and gently lifted her chin, guiding her gaze to meet his. His touch was tender, his thumb caressing her cheek. "Y/N, I get it. I do. But I was scared. Scared of losing you, of seeing you hurt. I couldn't bear the thought of something happening to you."
She looked up at him, tears streaming down her cheeks. His touch was a lifeline, grounding her in this vulnerable moment. "I... I couldn't save my sister," she whispered, her voice trembling. "I was supposed to be watching her, and I let her down."
Hotch's grip on her chin tightened ever so slightly, his eyes locking onto hers. He leaned in closer, his voice tender. "Y/N, what happened to your sister wasn't your fault. You were just a child yourself. You couldn't have known."
A sob escaped Y/N's lips as she leaned into his touch, her tears falling freely now. Hotch gently wiped away her tears with his thumb, his touch soothing. "It's okay to feel the pain, Y/N. But you can't let it dictate your actions now. You have so much strength, so much potential. I just want to keep you safe."
She let out a shaky breath, her emotions raw and exposed. Hotch's presence and his words were a balm to her wounded heart. "I'm sorry," she whispered, her voice filled with remorse.
Hotch shook his head softly, his eyes never leaving hers. "There's no need to apologize. I should have handled things differently too. We both made mistakes."
They stood there for a moment, their gazes locked, and the air around them seemed to shift. Hotch took a step forward, his hand moving from her chin to her cheek, his touch gentle and caring.
"Y/N, we're a team. And I promise you, I'll always have your back. But I need you to promise me that you'll think before you act, that you'll prioritize your safety."
She nodded, her tears slowing as a small smile tugged at her lips. "I promise."
And in that moment, with their bodies close and their gazes intertwined, they found a connection that went beyond words—a connection forged in vulnerability, understanding, and the unspoken bond of a team that had weathered the storm together.
Y/N closes the distance between them and wraps her arms around Hotch in a tight embrace. Her face is buried in his chest, and he holds her close, his hand caressing her hair with utmost tenderness. In this vulnerable embrace, their walls begin to crumble, and the weight of unspoken emotions hangs heavily in the air.
Hotch's voice is barely above a whisper as he presses his lips to her ear, letting all the truths he had been holding back spill forth. "I was so scared, Y/N... scared to lose you. I can't bear the thought of ever losing you. Please, don't ever put yourself in that kind of danger again."
His words are a mixture of desperation and genuine concern, a heartfelt confession that had been weighing on him for far too long. He holds her tighter, his grip on her waist firm yet gentle. "I don't know what I would do without you. You've become such an important part of my life."
His voice quivers with emotion, each word carrying the weight of his feelings. "I missed talking to you, missed hearing your laugh. Even the complaints about paperwork, I missed those too. You mean so much to me, Y/N, more than you might realize."
Y/N's grip on him tightens, her tears soaking into his shirt as she listens to his heartfelt words. It's a moment of vulnerability, of raw honesty that they had both been avoiding. Hotch's whispers in her ear are like a soothing melody, erasing the tension that had been building between them.
Their embrace lingers, a silent acknowledgment of the unspoken bond that ties them together. Hotch continues to caress her hair, his touch a silent reassurance of his feelings. In this moment, surrounded by their shared emotions and the warmth of their connection, they find solace in each other's arms.
Y/N pulls away slightly, creating enough space to look up at him, her eyes glistening with sincerity. She takes a deep breath before speaking, her voice a mix of vulnerability and determination. "Hotch, Aaron... I became so upset about this situation because it was you who was disappointed in me. You mean the world to me. Your opinion, your feelings, they matter more than I can even express. Not just as my boss, but as a friend and... and maybe, just maybe, even more."
Her cheeks flush with a soft hue of pink as she admits her feelings, her gaze dropping to the floor as if overwhelmed by the weight of her confession. She's both relieved and terrified to have finally voiced her emotions, unsure of how he'll react despite his previous words of comfort.
Hotch's breath catches in his throat as he absorbs her words. His heart races, and a mixture of surprise, hope, and affection blooms in his chest. He reaches out to gently lift her chin, his thumb brushing against her skin as he tilts her face up to meet his gaze. His expression is a mixture of tenderness and warmth, his eyes reflecting the depth of his feelings.
"Y/N..." Hotch's voice is soft, carrying a mix of emotions that mirror her own. He searches her eyes, his thumb tracing over her cheekbone, his touch both soothing and electrifying. "I've been struggling with my own feelings, with the fear of crossing a line. But I want you to know... you're important to me too. More than I can put into words."
A gentle smile tugs at the corners of his lips, his gaze locked onto hers. "I never wanted to push you away or make you feel like your actions don't matter. They do, because you matter. And I'm sorry if I made you think otherwise."
Y/N's heart swells with his words, and the warmth of his touch resonates deep within her. Her eyes well up with tears, but this time they're tears of relief and joy. Her lips tremble into a soft smile as she meets his gaze with renewed hope.
"I'm glad we talked," she whispers, her voice filled with sincerity. "I don't want to avoid you, Aaron. I want us to be honest with each other, no matter what happens."
Hotch's thumb continues to caress her cheek, his touch grounding her in this moment of emotional intimacy. "I feel the same way," he admits, his voice a mere breath against her lips. "And I promise, from now on, we'll face things together."
Their proximity becomes charged with a newfound understanding, their unspoken connection now verbalized. And as they stand there, gazing into each other's eyes, they both know that this conversation is just the beginning of a deeper and more meaningful journey ahead.
As the weight of their emotions lingers in the air, Y/N takes a small step closer, her heart pounding with a mixture of anticipation and vulnerability. Hotch's gaze softens even further, and in that moment, they both feel the pull of an unspoken desire.
Without any more hesitation, Y/N tilts her head slightly, her lips brushing against his in a tentative yet gentle kiss. It's a kiss filled with the tenderness of their shared feelings, a silent promise of everything they've both been longing for.
Hotch's arms instinctively wrap around her, pulling her closer as he deepens the kiss with a mixture of longing and affection. His lips move against hers with a slow and deliberate rhythm, their connection intensifying as their bodies press against each other.
The air between them grows warmer, their shared emotions igniting a spark of passion. Y/N's fingers thread through his hair, holding him close as the kiss becomes more heated, a reflection of the desires they've kept hidden for so long.
Their breath mingles, the world around them fading as they lose themselves in the intoxicating sensation of their lips moving together. The kiss becomes a dance of emotions, each movement a declaration of their feelings.
Finally, they break apart, their lips still lingering just millimeters away. Their breaths come in ragged gasps, their eyes locked in a heated gaze filled with a mixture of surprise and bliss.
A soft, love-drunk smile tugs at Y/N's lips, and she brushes her thumb against his cheek, feeling the warmth of his skin beneath her touch. Hotch's fingers continue to caress her back, his touch a silent affirmation of his feelings.
"Wow," Y/N breathes, her voice barely above a whisper, her heart still racing from the intensity of their kiss.
Hotch chuckles softly, his forehead resting against hers. "Yeah, wow," he replies, his voice filled with a mixture of wonder and contentment.
Their smiles mirror each other's, and in that moment, they both realize that this is just the beginning of their journey together. The walls that once kept their feelings hidden have crumbled, replaced by a newfound connection that's deeper and more meaningful.
As they stand there, breathless and gazing into each other's eyes, they know that they're embarking on a path of honesty, vulnerability, and love. And with their lips still tingling from their kiss, they share a quiet understanding that whatever challenges lie ahead, they'll face them together.
628 notes · View notes
muzaktomyears · 2 months
Text
Tumblr media
George Harrison remained an enigma to many people, even those who were close to him. For a man who lectured passionately about karma and the meaning of existence, he seemed self-protective and closed off. Witty when called upon, there were also moments when he could be quite boorish. Perhaps it was because he was only twenty years old when the Beatles became a global sensation. That might not seem particularly young in today’s world of social media fame, but at the time, it was uncharted territory for the kind of adulation he was experiencing.
It was also difficult living in the shadow of Paul and John. In the beginning, they were openly dismissive of him. Paul said he always thought of George as a little brother. At first, John pretended not to know his name and sardonically referred to him as “that kid’’. Ironically, one of George’s compositions, Something, became the most covered song in the Beatles catalogue.
This interview was conducted at George Harrison’s palatial home, Friar Park, in Henley-on-Thames, on November 5, 1980. George was gracious but cool. He made a pot of tea in the drafty, vast kitchen of his 120-room estate, and spent two hours lecturing about Transcendental Meditation and the details of a limited edition of his autobiography, I Me Mine, which is certainly how he must have felt getting out on his own.
In 2000, George was diagnosed with oropharyngeal cancer. George died on November 29, 2001, in the company of his wife, Olivia; his son, Dhani; musician Ravi Shankar; and Hare Krishna devotees who chanted verses from the Bhagavad Gita. He was 58 years old and left nearly $100 million in his will. George told Olivia that he didn’t want to be remembered for being a Beatle, he wanted to be remembered for being a good gardener.
Tumblr media
‘It was a transcendental experience that was beyond the mind’
On taking LSD
LSD was just such a violent, big experience. Before it I was totally ignorant, and afterward I knew I was totally ignorant and I was now on my way to having some sort of knowledge. I related it to the childhood experience of Catholicism and going to church on a Sunday and seeing all that phoney baloney. The moment I’d taken LSD, it just made me laugh because I understood it inside, just in a flash. I understood what the whole concept of God or religion was just by seeing it. I could see it in the grass in the trees.
It was an absolute truth; like a light going ching. I took three very powerful trips — big, very important — and then it left me a bit unsure because I had to try and figure something out. By that time I had gotten into Indian music and spent time in India, [and] there was so much about it that felt like home to me. Not the surface that you see — all this poverty and the flies and the shit everywhere — [it] went beyond all that. Smells in the atmosphere and the people’s attitude and the music, the food, the religion, everything about it … home.
‘I’d hear his voice wailing at five in the morning’
On the death of Brian Jones of the Rolling Stones
I liked Brian a lot, and later on, I realised it was probably because we were both Pisces. We both had similar natures. He was also similar in that he had a Keith and a Mick, whereas I had a John and a Paul. We both had that problem of two mighty egos to deal with in order just to try and survive. I was very susceptible to dope, and Brian [Jones] was even more susceptible. He’d come [to my house], and I’d just hear his voice wailing at like five in the morning: “George, Geeooorrgggeeee.” So I’d wake up, see what was going on, and I’d look out the window, and he’d be all white and just shattered walking around the garden — just looking for somewhere to be.
I would always meet him at that time of day and just try to calm him down. And I saw him a lot before he died in that sort of circumstance. The last time I saw him, I think, was when I’d been in hospital to have my tonsils out and he came to see me in hospital and the next week he was gone. He was like all of them who kicked the bucket — it was sad because there were too many pressures, really. Not just the pressure of being famous and having the press hounding you day and night and young fans hounding you day and night. Plus the drugs hounding you day and night.
‘F*** it — I could do better than that’
On his childhood inspiration, Cliff Richard
I remember being a kid of about twelve, dreaming of big motorboats and tropical islands and things which had nothing to do with Liverpool, which was dark and cold. I remember going to see Cliff Richard and thinking, f*** it — I could do better than that.
‘I think being Elvis was lonelier than being one of the Fab Four’
On fame — and Elvis Presley
We kept realising we were getting bigger and bigger until we all realised we couldn’t go anywhere —you couldn’t pick up a paper or turn on a radio or TV without seeing yourself. I mean, it became too much. We became trapped, and that’s why it had to end, is what I think … We were like monkeys in a cage. I think it was helped a bit by the fact that it was four of us, who shared the experience. I mean, there was more than four of us, there was Peter Brown and Brian Epstein, but there was only four of us who were actually the Fab Four — whereas Elvis had an entourage and maybe 15 guys, friends of his, but there was only one man having that experience of what it was like to be Elvis Presley. I think that was far lonelier than being one of the Fab Four because at least we could keep each other laughing or crying or whatever we did to each other. It was definitely an asset being in a group.
(source)
126 notes · View notes
wooahaes · 10 days
Text
late night chats
Tumblr media Tumblr media
pairing: non-idol!bang chan x fem!reader
genre: fluff. silly lil fluff.
warnings: food. its just a silly lil fic abt making plans w chris. mentions of past panic attacks and a not great ex-best friend.
word count: ~1.2k
daisy's notes: oh to go see the tigers with someone i love......
Tumblr media
Chris turned over to wish you a happy birthday right at midnight, for once in bed… Only to find that you weren’t there.
He pushed the blankets off, stretching as he sat up before slipping into his house slippers. For once, he was half-asleep (the things he did for you), and pushed himself up. With a slight sway, he rubbed at his eyes before groping around for where he’d thrown his hoodie… Only to find that it was missing, too. No doubt your doing. Not that it bothered him: you liked stealing his hoodies. You told him once that you liked the smell of his cologne, and hugging or draping his hoodies around your shoulders often made you feel closer to him. Sure, sometimes you’d wear his larger ones, but you liked draping them over your shoulders the same way he would sometimes while you were working. 
Easily enough, he found you in the kitchen, standing over a pot of ramen, a pan sitting next to it with nothing in it at the moment. You had tied the sleeves of his hoodie so that it hung around your shoulders, some video essay playing off of your phone. The carton of eggs sat next to you, and you reached over to pop it open.
“Birthday ramen?” He said, trying to make a joke out of it. Except you jerked back, a sharp gasp escaping you as you turned to face Chris.
Instantly, you were relieved, even though you likely knew how silly it was to be startled by him. “You can go back to sleep, Chris,” you said after a moment, turning back to your ramen. “I’m just hungry.”
“Nah.” He made his way over, leaning against the counter. “I’m not tired.” He paused, glancing down at your ramen. “... Do you wanna share?”
With a sigh of relief, you bumped your shoulder against his. “I don’t think I could finish this alone. You want an egg?”
Chris then watched as you cracked a few eggs into the pan—one for him, one for yourself—before changing the topic. “So… Any plans for the day?”
You shrugged. “I dunno. Bare minimum was taking the day off, and since I did get it…” You chewed at the inside of your cheek for a moment. “Didn’t think ahead past a vague ‘enjoy freedom.’”
He nodded along, arms folded across his chest. “We could… go to the aquarium.” 
“We went a few weeks ago,” you said. “With Felix and Jeongin.”
Ah. Right. It’d been your idea to invite the two. Chris hummed to himself. “Amusement park?”
“Ehhh.” 
“Oh.” He looked at you again, “Right, you don’t like roller coasters.”
“It’s not that I don’t like them—”
He shook his head. “No, I remember the story you told me. High school best friend forced you onto a ride you didn’t want to go on, and you had a panic attack afterward.” Chris frowned at the thought. You’d laughed off the story when you first told it to him, but it was half-hearted. He’d held your hand and promised he’d never push you into anything you were completely sure you didn’t want to do (and he’d keep holding your hand if you decided you wanted to try something). “Still can’t believe she fucking laughed at you.”
You shrugged it off, not meeting his gaze as you pressed your lips together for a minute. A few seconds later, you forced a smile. “Eh. It is what it is.” 
Except you deserved better than that, he wanted to say. Sometimes Chris imagined how different certain situations in your life could have gone if he had been there to hold your hand and speak up where you were too afraid to. He would have told her that it wasn’t funny. He would have split a funnel cake with you and called you cute. Maybe next time some of his friends wanted to go, he’d get you to go with him and he’d split one with you there and keep you company when they wanted to go on rides you didn’t like. 
Something stuck out in his mind, though. “... Zoo?”
Immediately, your head jerked up. “Hm?” But he could see the look in your eyes, a new idea planted right then and there in your brain. 
He giggled. “You’re like Berry when I ask her if she wants to go for a walk.”
With a snort, you rolled your eyes and turned back to the ramen. “Still…”
“If you wanna go to the zoo, we can go to the zoo.” He smiled to himself, already planning out the trail the two of you could take. He knew one of them was called the tiger trail, and, well… If the tiger plushies that littered your bedroom weren’t proof enough of your love of the big cat, everything he knew about you did. He shimmied his shoulders playfully as he moved his way over to you, “We could see the tiiigers—”
In the tiniest voice, you spoke up shyly, “... Could we?”
He just pulled you into his arms with a laugh. “If that’s what you wanna do! It’s your birthday,” he kissed the side of your neck before nuzzling his nose against it. “If you wanna see the tigers, we’ll go see the tigers.” Chris could feel the way your skin warmed up, and he just giggled again at how flustered you’d become. “Baby?” He turned you around to face him, caging you in between himself and the oven. “Say it.”
You buried your face into your hands. “You’re embarrassing.”
“I’m not gonna make fun of you,” he said, poking your sides just to see you jolt. “I just wanna hear you say it.”
Even after dating him for this long, you were still so shy sometimes. “Chris?” You peeked at him from between your fingers. “I wanna go see the tigers.”
He pulled your hands away from your face all too easily, peppering your face with kisses. “Then we’ll go see the tigers!” He held your face in his hands. “You’re so cute.”
You averted your gaze, and then finally spoke up after a few seconds, “takes one to know one.”
Fine. He’d let you get that one for today. Other days, he’d deny it and try to paint you as the cutest one in this relationship (truly, there was no competition in his eyes), but for today? He’d let you win. He just kissed you, warm and sweet, before drawing back. “Happy birthday,” he said. And then he pinched your cheeks one last time. “Gonna go see the tigers with my baby…”
You finally let out a groan, yet it was clear how much you still loved him. He might be a dorky mess of a partner, but he was yours. “We can go see your family, too, y’know,” you turned back to the stovetop to make sure nothing had stuck over overcooked. “There’s kangaroos.”
He just laughed, wrapping his arms around you. “Whatever you wanna do,” he said. “I’ll be right there with you.”
Tumblr media
taglist: @twancingyunhao @weird-bookworm @bangchansbae @jinnie-ret @cheesemonky
96 notes · View notes