#and the rhyme is much much funnier | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

idyllic-affections · 1 year

Text

to keep the wind at bay.

summary. to block the wind out is to block venti out, but they supposed they couldn't hide forever. trigger & content warnings. heavily implied family issues, parental arguing/screaming. tropes, pairings, word count, & other notes. hurt/comfort. venti & teen!reader. 1.2k words. they/them pronouns for reader. author's thoughts. do you like venti? i love venti! /ref. ANYWAYS i really like him a lot and its a shame that hes so often mischaracterized in the fandom, like it genuinely makes me sad. on a funnier note, i cannot rhyme to save my life yet i love writing venti. help me /lh

It wasn't uncommon for the Anemo Archon to appear on their balcony, tapping on their window until they'd let him in—not that their window was ever shut entirely; like most children born and raised in Mondstadt, they'd fostered a characteristic fondness for the wind. They hated how stuffy their room got when their windows were shut tight. Him knocking was simply an act of courtesy.

What concerned Venti was that, for the first time, their window was locked, as if to keep the wind out. As if to keep him out.

He knew they were in there, awake, albeit faced away from the window. Surely they were aware of his presence? The bard's tapping was gentle, but certainly not so much so that it couldn't be noticed.

Their shoulders shook when he tapped again. They slightly turned their head towards the window, lower lip trembling. To little avail, they tried to compose themselves before greeting the poet at their window.

Oh. Oh. They were crying—well, almost. It was clear that they were holding back tears, and that was enough for his concern to be blatantly put on display.

They stood up, shuffling reluctantly to the window and flicking the lock before pushing it open. To block the wind out is to block Venti out, but they supposed they couldn't hide forever.

"Hi," they greeted weakly, voice strained and wavering. Their gaze was locked off somewhere to the side, hands clenched at their sides.

He was silent, and over the silence came the source of their distress from the first floor of their home. Ah. Now he understood why the window was so tightly shut; they knew very well that, had the wind heard such foul, bitter exchanges, he would have been there to whisk them away in an instant.

"...Oh, beloved," he whispered gently. It was cruel, he thought, that they were prisoner to their own home in the City of Freedom itself. As much as he wanted to resolve this issue and free them from their fear, this problem was one not so easily solved. His divine status was of no use in such a situation. "Again?"

They gnawed on their lower lip. "Yeah."

"Can I touch you?"

"Yeah."

With so much tenderness that it should've been impossible, the Archon took one of their hands in his, gingerly easing their hand from its clenched state and intertwining their fingers, even if it was only for a brief moment. He led them over to their bed. He situated himself first, then motioning for them to sit beside him. Their head fell onto his shoulder when they did, body curling against his side. Subconsciously, their fingers twirled around the tips of his braid, busying themselves with admiring the gentle glow his hair emitted.

"Can you tell me about your day?" they requested softly, the tears silently running down their face as they did. It was hard not to cry in the situation that they were in. Venti didn't blame them in the slightest.

He smiled endearingly, carding a hand soothingly through their hair. "Anything for you, dearest."

— flower of the universe !! 🌸

They supposed that, as a bard, Venti had his ways of skillfully animating even his most mundane tales. It was an impressive talent that they knew must have taken decades to cultivate, for he was born not as anything even remotely human; this was a fact they were very aware of.

Still, it wasn't enough to put them at ease.

That much was extremely clear, for when the resonating slam of a door echoed through the house, they nearly jumped out of their skin. Their heart stuttered uncomfortably in their chest, a shallow breath leaving their throat. They clung to the God of Freedom's side, as if trying to burrow into him. As if they were trying to hide. His lips twitched down into a frown as he held them, rubbing soothing circles on their upper arm, drawing them closer into a shielding embrace.

"Let's... let's go to Windrise, shall we?"

"Please."

— flower of the universe !! 🌸

The gentle breezes that constantly flowed under the Windrise tree immediately seemed to take some of their stress away, brushing tenderly over their cheeks and drying whatever tears remained.

Just being away from the toxic environment was enough—at least, for now.

"I think," they began from their place in the bard's embrace. "I think you aren't the only one who heals here. I always feel more at ease here than anywhere else."

He hummed softly in reply. "You always have."

The anemo crystalflies glowed brilliantly at night. They always did. It never failed to make their eyes brighten immeasurably in wonder.

Now that they thought about it, they'd known Venti for quite some time. He... never seemed to leave, actually. He was always there when they needed him, even when they were much younger. They had vague memories of being little and chasing the crystalfies around, constantly tripping over themsleves, only for the bard to catch them with a burst of anemo energy and a laugh. His fondness for them never seemed to dwindle and sometimes they couldn't help but wonder how they garnered the personal attention of a deity—one of the Seven, no less. Those thoughts were always brief and fleeting, though. It wasn't something they needed to linger on because really, to them, Venti was just... Venti. Him being the Anemo Archon was of little importance to them.

They wished they could return to being as free-spirited as they once had been. It was a feeling they missed dearly.

"Mora for your thoughts?"

"You don't have mora," they teased weakly, tone dry and void of humor. Their voice was soft as they continued, as if it would crack and shatter if they spoke any louder. "...That would've been funnier under different circumstances. Just thinking about how I used to run around here, chasing the crystalflies. Things were different back then."

"They were," he agreed with equal gentleness, fingers brushing through their hair comfortingly. "You may be visionless right now, but I assure you, the God of Anemo looks upon you favorably. In my completely speculative and third-party opinion, it seems he is quite fond of you."

They smiled against the fabric of his clothes. "Oh? What a bold statement. You shouldn't go around saying things like that, lest he rescind his supposed favor."

"Ehe, something tells me Lord Barbatos wouldn't be so easily swayed."

"Hmm, I can't help but wonder, is that simply your so-called bard's intuition talking?"

"Yep, exactly!"

A comfortable silence befell the two. A slight chill, one which didn't go unnoticed by the bard, ran up their spine in response to the cool night air. Mondstadt did have a tendency to get slightly chilly at such late hours, especially in the later seasons.

After a gentle glow of light accompanied by an equally soft burst of wind, the coldness was replaced with a soothing warmth. Here, held securely in the arms of the Anemo Archon with his snow-white wings encasing them, they were at their absolute safest. It was hard to imagine anything in Teyvat being able to bring them harm while they were here.

Despite snuggling further into the god, content with the warmth his feathered wings provided, they chided him. "What if someone sees you?" they huffed, fending off their tiredness in favor of scolding Venti. "I cannot believe I have to reprimand you. Aren't you, like... I don't know, two millenia old?"

He chuckled at that. "Don't worry about that. You've fought so, so hard today, so rest for now. I'll be here when you wake."

please consider reblogging, it helps me out quite a lot!

#aphelion writes 🌸#platonic #venti x gender neutral reader #platonic venti x reader #genshin x reader #venti imagines #genshin imagines #venti x you #venti x y/n #platonic genshin impact #platonic genshin x reader #venti x reader

238 notes · View notes

earhartsease · 1 month

Text

"doing it for the bit" is much funnier in a french accent because "bite" (rhymes with beet) is french slang for dick

20 notes · View notes

mrs-toohot · 9 months

Text

Ryder, decoded

So the THTH writers apparently googled “Australian slang” and went copy/paste into his dialogue with absolutely no concept of what any of it means or how commonly it’s used.

So, as your resident Australian, I’m going to translate for you.

Below, you’ll find the examples I found so far, a translation, and a rating out of ten for how commonly it’s used / how accurate the slang is.

Disclaimer: I am born and raised Aussie. My ancestors were convicts. And while I do live in a major city, I grew up in the most country of country towns; population 847. So I am fluent in Aussie.

So without further ado:

Buggers.

If you look up the word buggers you’ll find it’s short for buggery which is the act of engaging in anal sex. But it’s not really used that way any more. I would never use “sexy buggers” that’s kinda weird. It’s only ever used these days as a light-hearted term, such as “cheeky bugger”(usually said with a hair ruffle). Alternatively, you can say someone’s “playing silly buggers” which means they’re messing around/being silly.

Accuracy of usage: 6/10

True-blue.

I see this and I think of this song which I believe they may have played at Steve Irwin’s funeral. It’s basically the same as “proper” or “right” for the Brits. Interchange with “verifiable”. Is entirely a stereotype and wouldn’t even be used ironically these days. In its place, we would use “fuckin’”. The only time this word is used is when you’re describing someone as “he’s a true-blue Aussie battler” (he’s very Australian)

Accuracy of usage: 1/10

Sheilas & blokes.

No. Absolutely not. Sheilas 🤢 is a way of describing a group of girls, but it’s very outdated. You could still call a guy a bloke, but it’s not interchangeable with “guy”. A bloke is specifically very traditionally Aussie & masculine, and you’d almost be more likely to use it as an adjective (I.e. “he’s a bit blokey”). I’ll be honest, you want someone who’s “blokey”, think “Gary from LITG”.

Accuracy of usage: 1/10 and 4/10 respectively

Ripper

Means ‘great’. And unless it’s in relation to specifically calling someone else a ‘ripper legend’ (shortened to ‘ripper ledge’) it’s not used commonly whatsoever.

Accuracy of usage: 2/10

Bonzer

No. Absolutely not. Never in a million years would bonzer be used today. It also means ‘great’ but this can’t even be used ironically. Even in the deep dark depths of country western NSW, using this word will get you looked at weird.

Accuracy of usage: -10/10

Crikey

Sorry to disappoint, but this one’s also a no. It means essentially “wow”. The only time we’d use this is to amuse internationals. We associate this word with ol’ mate Steve as much as you do.

RIP buddy 🪦

Accuracy of usage: 2/10

Fair dinkum & arvo

You’d ask if something was ‘fair dinkum’ if you were questioning if the aforementioned statement was true, or you were trying to figure out if someone was for real. “I’m Spider-Man”, “oh, fair dinkum?” It is… not common. Very outdated and only your countriest of the country boys would use it (and only if they’re 60+)

Now- ARVO- this is a different story. I use arvo EVERY DAY. It is short for afternoon and I don’t remember the last time I used the full word. “What’re you doin s’arvo?” Absolutely used every single day.

Accuracy of usage: 3/10 and 10/10

Have a squiz and take a gander

Both mean the same thing: take a look. Do not ask me where they come from but welcome to Australia. I have definitely said “give us a squiz” or “I’ll take a squiz” lol. The latter is still said but only by much older people. A funnier version ( only said ironically) is ‘have a captain cook’ (rhyming slang for ‘have a look’)

Accuracy of usage: 9/10 and 7/10

Have a yarn

Means ‘have a chat’, ‘talk’, or ‘shooting the shit’. This is actually really commonly used by indigenous Australians, and ‘yarning’ culture is really crucial and involves a cuppa tea 😁 I liked seeing this one pop up.

Accuracy of usage: 10/10

Possible upcoming slang:

Yeah, nah: No

Nah, yeah: Yes

Have a root: Sex

Pull your head in: Calm down, get it together, wisen up

Ta: thank you

Sweet as: sounds good

Righto/Righteo: alright

No worries: not a problem, that’s okay. Often said in conjunction with ‘she’ll be right’

No wukkas: no worries, short for “no wukkin furries” which is an intentional mispronunciation of “no fuckin’ worries”.

Bloody oath: bloody hell/Fuckin’ hell

Ocker/yobbo: super Aussie guy, see “bloke”. Specifically very country.

Drongo: forbidden phrase. Never used ever. Means an idiot/dork. If they use this I quit.

Flamin’ galah: said ironically, very funny. Said seriously, no.

Dropkick: super common. Similar to derro or deadshit. A loser, someone who is going nowhere in life.

Derro/deadshit: derro is short for derelict. Someone who bums cigarettes at the train station. Wears thongs (flipflops) everywhere even in winter.

Bum: (verb) to bum sth: to beg for/ ask for / grift for. “Can I bum a smoke off ya” (often followed by “I’ll pay you back”)

Let’s see what gems they come out with this week, shall we?

#I hope this was somewhat enjoyable #ththg2 #too hot to handle game #ththg #ththgame #thth #Australian #australian slang #translation

69 notes · View notes

magicalrocketships · 1 year

Note

do you have ideas of things you'd like to see in buddie fics? I love your writing sm and I'd love to see your take on buddie

YES. I have had a LOT of thoughts about fucked up boys sorting themselves out, and also one where Eddie cries a lot about figuring out he's not straight, but I ALSO had this one fic idea that kept me company in the middle of night for a LONG TIME, which was basically WHAT IF BUCK AND EDDIE GOT JEALOUS MARRIED

Like, they go to Vegas for... something. Chim's birthday. IT DOES NOT MATTER. They're in Vegas. People are joking about other people coming to Vegas and getting drunk and getting married, idk, it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Buck and Eddie react entirely appropriately to this joking suggestion, and think... huh. What if we got married? That would fix everything!

It is important to note that there is nothing to fix

They are just two best friends occasionally and with some legal back up co-parenting a child, what needs fixing about THAT

So! They slip away. Why are they doing that? Who knows. And then they're like, "So, getting married, huh? What a joke."

They are not joking, and there is nothing to fix, but they are both thinking, in their special screwed up kind of a way, if they are married to EACH OTHER then it is IMPOSSIBLE* that the other person could marry SOMEONE ELSE and it is very important that even though there is NOTHING to acknowledge about how jealously they guard each other, that there be ZERO permanence about anyone else in their lives

*it is absolutely possible, they are just stupid

(for each other)

Buck and Eddie get married in Las Vegas because what is MORE NORMAL than two best friends who are not queer for each other getting married on a drunken weekend in Vegas while almost entirely sober

They hug after getting married because W O W what a relief, now everything is fixed!!!! Amazing how much of a relief it is to know that everything is fixed now, everyone is going to be better off!!!

They don't tell a single person

They go back to their lives secure in the knowledge that everything is fixed now and continue to do everything EXACTLY THE SAME as they did before they went to Vegas and got secret jealous married

Except maybe IDK Eddie updates his will or something

And then says to Buck that he should do the same but HEN OVERHEARS

and later on has to say, what the fuck, Buck (even funnier because it rhymes) and Buck has to be, like, "Yeah so Eddie and I are MARRIED now, isn't it great, it fixes EVERYTHING!!!"

Hen: "..."

And then Hen has to go out of her mind for the next eight months because literally NOBODY knows that Buck and Eddie are very happily married whilst living entirely single* lives and never actually kissing or living together

*they are very clearly not single because they are, at this point, a) married and b) not in the least bit interested in anything with anyone else

Also they have a KID to bring up which they are doing TOGETHER and have only sort of realised this

So they go BACK to Vegas a year after getting married, who knows what for, it very clearly DOES NOT MATTER, and Buck says something erudite and well adjusted about how it must be nice to get the right number of hugs every day

He has read that article about the number of hugs required for emotional wellbeing

He has shared that article about the number of hugs required for emotional wellbeing

Eddie, who is very well adjusted, says, "huh, maybe we can be that for each other?"

Hen at this point is melting into the concrete, willing herself to become at one with the universe rather than put up with the secret that she cannot tell anyone, which is that Buck and Eddie are so stupid they need STUDYING, in a LAB

Buck and Eddie begin The Year of The Hugs which is Hen's least favourite year because it turns out Buck and Eddie are both TOUCH STARVED and also still OBLIVIOUS about how in love they are

Buck and Eddie like to go to each other's places just to hug, which is Normal

God, they're so normal

Getting married really HAS fixed everything, they're so good at this

Meanwhile no one else has noticed anything because this is mostly going on at home and no one else really thinks too deeply about anything, which Hen maintains was her first mistake. She has given up thinking. It's safer.

Buck and Eddie start having hugging sleepovers rather than Buck sleeping on the sofa when he stays over

Christopher, who, despite having Eddie for a father, has some critical thinking skills (this is unfair to Eddie, who is very good at critical thinking when it comes to work, but who has the emotional capability of a boiled egg when it comes to understanding who he is and what he wants and what he is feeling)

Christopher gives up trying to explain that Buck is his dad's best friend and just calls him his other dad when he has to tell his friends' parents who's picking him up and dropping off at things

Everyone deals with this like it's entirely normal, which it is, because they've never had to deal with the flat expression of two men dealing with having a functioning family relationship for the first time in their lives by not realising they have one

Christopher assumes that his dads are dating but not telling him, so he makes them a card that says CONGRATULATIONS and then they all have to have a conversation where each sentence is stupider than the last one where Buck and Eddie explain that they LOVE each other and they SLEEP together but only because they like to HUG and that is NORMAL

Christopher considers giving his parents up for adoption

Particularly when they explain that they are MARRIED but that is just because it FIXED EVERYTHING

still nothing to fix

Christopher suggests, quite gently, that maybe his dads should just try BEING MARRIED because they ARE MARRIED and nobody is talking about DIVORCE, right?

Buck literally cries at the mention of divorce, Eddie looks like he's swallowed a boiled egg whole

Christopher googles my dads need therapy

Buck and Eddie add holding hands to their repertoire of married tricks

Hen considers emigrating to the moon

Buck and Eddie have been married eighteen months and have yet to kiss or admit that they want to

they want to

this is the end of part one because I am tired

#fic i wish i was writing #911 #buddie #buck and eddie fix everything by getting married #(they fix nothing because nothing needing fixing)#except them

35 notes · View notes

beevean · 3 months

Note

You’re watching Hazbin Hotel? How is it?

Flawed but enjoyable!

I watched the pilot when it came out, then Addict, then I kind of stayed away from the fandom to avoid hyping myself up. (that, and I noticed how it became the Internet Target Du Jour, and I am sick of that lol) I also am not following Helluva Boss because the first episode didn't interest me, so I can't compare.

I agree with most of the criticism I've read - the pacing is rushed (which is sadly a common issue with series nowadays), too many characters introduced in little time, the humor is immaturely edgy with a plethora of badly-placed swearwords (good god every time Adam opens his ugly mouth I can feel my soul cringing out of my body eugh), the first four episodes made the titular Hotel seem much less important than the bigger conflict with Heaven (glad this seems to have been course corrected), you're required to watch the pilot on another platform... but I'm invested!

I like the main characters, I find them funny and I want to know more about them - if you couldn't tell, Angel is my fave lol, but I was pleasantly surprised by Husk and Alastor has been rewritten to be much funnier IMO, petty bastard with a hidden agenda. Charlie and Vaggie are also very cute as girlfriends, and while I don't actively ship Huskerdust I'm rooting for them to grow closer. The songs are neat, with catchy bases and elaborate rhymes - again, Poison has me in a chokehold because holy shit that is raw, but Stayed Gone, Respectless, Loser Baby and now Hell's Greatest Dad are worming their way inside my head lol. And the emotional moments hit way harder than I expected. Yeah yeah Angel's abuse being surprisingly nuanced in its tragedy, but now I'm here teary eyed after a goofy snake dad sang a song to his cutesy daughter he hadn't called in five months.

So yeah, it's no Bojack Horseman lmao, but I'm liking what I'm seeing and I would say it stands out over other adult cartoons :) it's like... yes, it's stupidly edgy, and not even in that goofy way that makes me love ShTH, but it's also not pretentious. I really feel it's a genuine passion project that went far beyond the creators' expectations.

#hazbin hotel

11 notes · View notes

giggly-squiggily · 1 year

Text

Grusha Headcanons (Pokemon Scarlet and Violet)

So guess who got to Grusha? This girl! To absolutely no one’s surprise, this is my favorite gym leader. He’s so freaking cute akjaerjaejajker. Naturally I have to make headcanons for Pokemon Langa and here we are!

Tickly headcanons below the cut (Also light spoilers for Grusha’s backstory- kinda)

- Where to begin with this snowman? First things first: His worst spot is his armpits. Like- even the threat of tickles there will make him squirm. You know how in his losing animation he puts his arms up behind his head unbothered? If you run up to him with wiggling fingers he’ll squeak and flail backwards- sometimes falling flat on his ass in the snow.

- Also really ticklish belly; It’s kinda hard to get to it with all his layers, but if you get him when he’s not wearing his coat or use enough pressure, he’s a goner. He’s also got a tickly neck that if you were to press a cold hand against, he’d make “distressed Grusha noises” (AKA High pitched giggles)

- Only his left knee is ticklish- the right has too much nerve damage from his injury Pre-Gymleadership. It’s healed up enough that it doesn’t hurt to touch, but it’s the knee people always go for when they’re trying to tickle him there- making him seem immune. It wasn’t until Iono squeezed his left knee that she realized just how effective of a tickle spot it was on him.

- Is super embarrassed about his smile and will cover his mouth with his scarf even when tickled. (shoutout to @/helloitsghost for this one!) This opens himself up for all kinds of tickle attacks, so you get this rather adorable sight of Grusha holding his scarf up with one hand while the other swats at whomever’s tickling him. If you find a good spot to tickle and make him drop his arms, you’re in for a sight; his smile is absolutely radiant.

- An absolute giggle feast! It contrasts greatly with his cool, unaffected personality and he lowkey hates it, even when everyone tells him it’s adorable. (This actually makes it worse- he cannot handle compliments at all when tickled. Really- he can’t handle them period- he always hides in his scarf). It warms even the frostiest of Frosslasses and never fails to put a smile on his Ler’s face.

- Curls up on himself like a Donphan- it’s his main defense against tickles. Rhyme likes to jokingly call it “Grusha used Defense Curl” whenever he does, much to his embarrassment. This works for the most part until someone goes for his tickly knee or the back of his neck. He kinda momentarily flaps before retreating to curling up, but that brief flap gives an opening for more tickles.

- Much like his passion for battling, you have to prod at it through tickles to get him to take revenge. If so, be prepared- Grusha isn’t taking any prisoners. He’ll tickle you in all the worst spots right off the bat (and if your outside, he’ll make his gloves extra cold by coating them in snow, adding to the whole ordeal). He doesn’t really tease or coo- it’s more a deadpanned “Does it tickle? Does it tickle? I bet it tickles huh? Tickle tickle, hehe.” It’s even funnier to listen to when your getting wrecked, so prepare to be laughing for a long time.

-Despite being such a sour ler, he’s rather sweet post-tickles (like a sour patch kid lols) He’ll bring you a hot drink and a warm blanket, sitting with you by the fireplace while you warm up side by side. He won’t tease you too much about your red cheeks or how you snort-squealed after he shoved snow down your shirt (mainly because he’s now de-coated and more tickle spots are accessible.) He’ll even offer a good portion of his famous scarf to wrap around your neck, keeping you both warm. He’s just a good soul, I tell ya!

Thanks for reading!

#pokemon #scarlet and violet #grusha #tickle #tickle headcanons #headcanons #fluff #I love him can't you tell?#By far my favorite gym leader #He's just so cute ahhh!

84 notes · View notes

peterlorres21stcentury · 11 months

Note

Do you know whether Gustaf Gründgens and Peter Lorre were still in contact after "M" or whether one of them commented on the other? Would be exciting because both have built completely different but great careers.

That is a great question! I had no idea, so this gave me an excuse to search The Lost One: A Life of Peter Lorre again (as if I needed an excuse).

Gustaf Gründgens is seldom mentioned in Lorre's biography, and it does not seem like they had very much personal contact after filming M. There was, however, this little anecdote:

Milan Dubrovic, the doyen of Austrian journalism, remembered László “as an unmasked blitz parodist notorious and famous for his mischievous sayings, puns and bawdy rhymes, which he produced on an assembly line.” Most famously, after the homosexual actor Gustaf Gründgens wed actress Marianne Hoppe [my note: they married in 1936], he devised the popular chant:

Hoppe, Hoppe Gründgens they don’t have children. And if they do have children, they are not by Gründgens

eh, perhaps it was funnier in German.

#I did smirk a bit however #gustaf gründgens #peter lorre #thanks anon!#asks

14 notes · View notes

poisonouswritings · 2 years

Note

modern au... Where.. sage is in a band... With Lucan, Balsam, Tulsi and elowen...

SAGE WRITING SONGS FOR MC<333 MC GOING TO ALL OF HIS SHOWS T-T.

making out back stage😼

Sage teaching MC how to play guitar, carefully guiding your hands to the proper frets and chords.. kissing their cheek when they do a good job.

If his band is somewhat popular...

HandiesInHisDressingRoom

SORDY I HAVE SI MUCH BRAIN ROT LOSLOL

CRYINGSCREAMINGTHROWINGUPILOVEBANDAUS

GN!Reader, I think it's so much funnier if their band is popular but you have no idea who they are, mix of scenario/HCs, NSFW under the cut

It's a normal day in the café when the bell above the door chimes and- hey that rhymes

Anyways, normal day. Guy walks in. He's cute. You get the vague sense that you've seen his face around before but don't dwell on it. It's a café after all. Lot of repeat customers.

You can hear him humming.

He comes up to the counter to order and flashes you a pretty smile. You smile politely back and ask how you can help him today.

It's a standard response but then why does he seem surprised? His fluffy ears give a twitch and the tip of his tail flicks like you caught him off-guard. But he seems... A little pleased, too.

He orders some stuff - a latte, a sandwich, a cookie - and when you ask him for his name he seems a little amused.

'C'mon. Really? You don't know me?'

Shit, are you supposed to? You're about to say that it's just standard procedure or something, hoping to spare yourself the awkwardness of having forgotten someone, when something crashes behind you. You whip around to see your coworker having just dropped a plate of danishes that were gonna refill the display case. You rush over to check if they're alright but then they let out this very fangirl-ish (gender neutral) squeal and go 'Omg! You're Sage Lesath!'

And the guy does not seem surprised. He laughs a little. Your coworker rushes over to start pestering him with questions and compliments and more noises while you're stuck cleaning up the damn danishes.

You hear the bell chime again and more incomprehensible-excitement-noises so presumably your coworker can at least distract them for a moment while you finish cleaning up. There's only one cook in the kitchen back there, but luckily they don't seem to have any interest in whatever's going on so more danishes can get made.

When you come back, there's a whole ass group of people now and your coworker looks like they're about to faint. You go to get everyone else's orders and find out (mostly through breathless squeals) that the newcomers names are Lucan, Balsam, Tulsi, and Elowen.

It's only at this point when you're clearly (colloquially) nonplussed that your coworker finally asks why you aren't more excited. And you kinda shrug and say that everyone seems lovely but you're not entirely sure why you would be excited over your coworker's friends that you don't know?

You have never seen your coworker look this exasperated. Have they really failed you this badly? Do you not remember them practically tying you down to a chair and making you listen to that new album like, two weeks ago?? You admit that you'd started reading fanfics and totally zoned out.

Yes I'm plugging my own shit don't judge me

And the others are laughing at this whole scenario. Another customer is coming in so you finally shoo everyone away from the counter. You have a job to do y'know! And as your coworker finally scurries back to the kitchen, you take the new or-

...

Sage is lingering by the counter, ears perked and tail swishing in amusement. Once you take the order and the new customer moves off to the side, Sage settles his elbows on the counter and watches as you move around.

Normally you might be a little weirded out but... he looks like a cat. Well, more of a cat than before anyways. You're almost tempted to pet him. But instead you make some conversation. While Sage is certainly flirtatious and a little cocky, you can't help but notice something genuine underneath. When you casually ask if all the flirting is some kind of rocker persona... Well, he gets a little flustered.

When all the food and drinks are ready, you load it up on two serving trays and haul it over. Sage trots along after you like a lovestruck puppy.

The others ask you to sit with them for a little bit. You point out you're still on the clock but your coworker encourages you to do it, whispering (not all that quietly) that if you get free tickets then you have to give them one. You promptly shoo them away while they laugh.

Through a mix of Google, Spotify, and laughter, you find out they're a punk/rock/indie/whatever band (everyone keeps arguing about it. Google lists them as alternative) called The Griefers. Elowen is the lead singer, Tulsi is the drummer, Balsam is the keyboard/pianist, Lucan plays the bass, and Sage does guitar (though he sings once in a while as well).

R,,,rau,,,,,raunchy photoshoots,,,,,,,, hehehehehe,,,,,,,,,

When you scroll across a particularly suggestive pic of Sage (as in naked with his guitar - Zenith - covering his crotch) you immediately exit out of that.

'Aw, you don't like what you see? ;)'

He's all snuggled up next to you, so you flick his nose. He leans away but laughs, and his cheeks are a warm pink.

It doesn't take long after that for you to be invited to their practices. It's a little weird with all these stagehands and sound techs and whatever running around behind you, but over time you get used to it.

You get your own dedicated little loveseat and everything.

It doesn't take long for you to start seeing through everyone's professional personas. Lucan is an over-excited fluffball that loves animals, Balsam is a total sci-fi nerd, Elowen gets startled by jump scares and Tulsi likes anime.

And Sage? Sage is an absolute dork who gets flustered when you cheer for his playing or bring him a coffee or tell him he looks nice today.

One day, it's Elowen that invites you over to the soundstage. And so you clean yourself up, pack some snacks for everyone (they prefer danishes and cookies from the café over the stuff from the craft table. That's what they say anyways, but you're pretty sure they just like getting to have a friend bring them something personal), and head over.

You come in through the back like usual, stopping to chat with one of the stagehands you're friendly with, when the sounds of an argument catch your attention. Sounds like it's between Sage and Elowen. That's definitely not new. Especially when you hear Balsam laughing.

'-and it hardly seems fair,' Elowen is saying. You can't decide whether she sounds more annoyed or amused. 'Not to us, and certainly not to them.'

'Gods, why don't you just mind your own business?!' there's Sage, sounding as frustrated as ever. Elowen has a way of getting under his skin that makes his fur absolutely bristle.

'It becomes my business when they're all you talk about. If you cannot admit it to them, then you should at least be able to tell us.'

'Fine!' Sage snaps. You come around the corner to see the cat all fired up, tail lashing around and ears pinned flat. 'You want me to say it, I'll say it! I'm in love with MC!'

.... *Badum-tiss!*

That would be Tulsi - who just noticed you - hitting a rimshot.

Balsam, who notices you, starts wheezing.

'Don't laugh!' Sage is more exasperated than anything now. 'This is why I didn't wanna tell you guys, because you were gonna be assholes about it-'

Lucan beams brightly and waves to you. 'Hi MC! Did you bring those snake pastries I like? :)'

Sage pauses. His ears perk and twitch as he turns to look at you. His face goes bright red.

'.... Night take me.'

Balsam is wheezing so hard that he's gone completely silent. Help him.

You and Sage start dating after that.

Obviously you get backstage passes to all his shows. He loves getting to see you before and after a performance, especially since he's usually buzzing with so much energy and he needs a way to get it out.

On that note he's very touchy-feely when you're backstage. Sometimes it's making out and squeezing your butt a little, other times it's nuzzling and purring and getting his fur all over you.

It's inevitable that pictures of you two together get out. You get,, mixed reactions. On the one hand, a lot of people think you two are an absolutely adorable couple, and Sage is clearly happy with you. On the other hand, a lot of people are jealous and shit-talk you as a result.

So obviously Sage gushes about you every chance he gets. If you're comfortable being on his Instagram then he posts selfies of the both of you and always captions it with something about how sweet/kind/adorable/lovely etc. you are and how lucky he is to have you.

He also likes leaving those 'sugar daddy hmu' type comments on your page because he thinks it's really funny

If you don't really wanna be on social media then he respects that, and he saves all his gushing for interviews.

Teaches you how to play the guitar,, stands behind you so he can guide your fingers along the fret board,,, his palms are so warm and his fingertips are all calloused,,,,, kissing your cheek when you do it right,,,,,, humming along,,,,,, tells you that with a little practice you'll be the best player ever. Maybe you can replace him when he wants to take a break? Oh but if you need more lessons then he's happy to keep his arms around you ;)

You play with the band sometimes! Just during practice or when you guys are goofing around. Everyone teaches you a little bit about their instruments. You find out Balsam's keyboard can record things and he recorded Sage's impromptu love confession, so Sage will be in the middle of practicing a solo and Balsam will start playing it on full volume to fuck with him.

Sage does write songs for you and he's always so shy about it. He only ever sings it when you guys are alone though. Usually at his or your apartment/house/whatever.

You get free merch so that's cool

I think Sage used to kinda overdo it at the after parties, but now that you're there to keep him in check he's a lot calmer. Obviously still drinks and possibly gets a little high but he's definitely not blacking out like he used to. It's after one of those parties, when Sage is curled up in your lap taking a cat nap and you're stroking his hair, that Tulsi points it out.

He gets hit on a lot. He always has, of course, but now it almost seems to happen more often. It always kind of annoyed him before but now it downright pisses him off. Everyone knows he's in a very happy relationship, thank you very much, so can't they just fuck off or something? He always tells you about it when it happens, and it makes him sulk a fair bit. Do people think he's a cheater or something? That he's so sex-crazed that he would betray you like that?

You always hug him extra tight and kiss the top of his head and remind him that he's all yours, and that makes him feel better.

It's a little silly (at least, that's what Sage says) but he still gets anxious about performing sometimes. It depends on the crowd size.

And tonight's performance has a lot of people.

He's got about twenty, twenty-five minutes before he needs to be on stage for final checks.

His tail won't stop flicking around and his ears are flattened and he keeps rubbing the back of his neck.

You ask him if there's anything you can do to help. He looks over at you, amber eyes full of sincerity, and softly asks if you can just,,, let him forget about everything for a minute?

I think that's one of the things he loves about you. You see through the music and the rock persona and whatever to who he really is, and he just... Really needs to be reminded that he deserves love and affection. Not as the lead guitarist for the Griefers but as Sage Lesath, a dorky cat man who chases laser pointers and is spooked by ghosts and once walked into a door because he was too busy texting you to pay attention to his surroundings.

You :) tell him :) to sit down on the :) on the table :)

He's a little flustered but agrees, sitting on the edge of the little table. It creaks ominously but holds fine, so that's good.

You set your hands on his hips,, tuck yourself between his legs,,, cup your cheeks in his hands and kiss him all soft and gentle and sweet. He purrs into your mouth and gradually relaxes, tail winding around your thigh as he pulls you closer so your chests are flushed. You trail your fingers through his hair,, scritch behind his ears,,, give him a lil tug so his head falls back,,,, you kiss his cheek, the underside of his jaw, gently press your lips against the spot where you can feel his pulse jump. His breath comes out as a broken sigh, and his words become a little whimper.

You give his ears one last affectionate scratch before dropping your hand back down to his waist. Give his sides a little squeeze. Then start trailing your hands slowly up his sides, sneaking under his jacket. He's practically trembling under your touch.

As you gradually trail your kisses and bites down his neck and to his shoulders, you coo to him. Tell him he's such a good kitty cat, your good kitty cat, so cute and so sweet and so lovely,,,

And it doesn't take much for you to feel his cock getting hard in his pants.

He's panting softly, all flushed and lovely and eyes dark with need. You carefully unbutton his pants (after undoing the various belts and straps that are part of his costume) and roll them down to his knees to let his dick spring out. There's already some pre leaking out of the tip, and that makes it easy for you to take him in your hand and pump his shaft. His head falls back and bumps against the wall, purring and moaning and bucking his hips a little. You use your free hand to peel back the collar of his jacket and leave a hickey on his shoulder, where it'll be hidden.

Then you leave one on the crook of his neck, where it probably won't be hidden. The makeup artist will totally have your ass for that but it's worth it.

Oh, he looks so cute, all blushy and panting and drooling like that... You love him so much.... And tomorrow morning, you're gonna wake up wearing his jacket and make some breakfast in bed, and you guys can spend the whole day cuddling on the couch and binging movies and laughing. And in the evening, maybe you guys can go on a date? Just something simple, like ice cream and a walk in the park or something like that. And then you'll go home and ride him until he passes out :D

Sage whines that he's getting close. You could already guess from the way the tip of his tail is flicking around like crazy.

You quickly squat down and take the tip into your mouth, bobbing your head up and down a few times until he lets out a warning cry. Then you pull back, opening your mouth wide and letting the tip sit on your tongue and looking up at him. He's watching you.

And you wink.

And he cums in your mouth.

You wait until you're sure he's done - and it takes a second, kitty cat cums a lot - to suck the last of it off his tip and then swallow. Then open your mouth to show him you swallowed it all.

And even though he literally just came, his cock gives an interested twitch.

You quickly tuck him back in and stand up before he can get any ideas. Fix his jacket. Smooth his hair. Cup his cheeks and smooch his forehead.

He wraps his arms around your waist and pulls you close and for a few minutes you guys just,, hold each other. He mumbles a soft 'thank you' into your shoulder.

One of the stagehands slaps on the door and tells Sage to hurry up. Sage growls lowly and squeezes you tighter. He'll be there in a second!

He just needs you close for a little longer.

#last legacy #fictif last legacy #sage lesath #sage lesath x reader #fictif sage #last legacy sage #sage lesath x mc #tulsi ain #lucan de bhaldraithe #elowen de bhaldraithe #balsam #anon asks #ozzy answers #ozzy daydreams

102 notes · View notes

pansexual-lilychen · 8 months

Text

i just realised that my url would be so much funnier if it was pan lily chen instead of pansexual lily chen because than it would rhyme ://

#personal

11 notes · View notes

feyhunter78 · 9 months

Note

MEG SWEET FUCKING JESUS

An ex for an ex....

[George Lucas voice] It's like poetry, it rhymes

(From @fandom-ash 💙)

THANK YOUUUUUU🥰🥰

also no one ever uses my nickname in these and I love that you did it makes it so much funnier😂💗💗

#meg talks #mail time #miguel’s pastels #meg talks with ash

12 notes · View notes

heroes-villains-side-blog · 2 years

Text

Here's a gift for @world-of-fire-and-flight based on something that I'm not gonna spoil for them 😈

Ice cream and kitty cats, part 1 🍦😸

Part 2 Part 3

It was cold and windy, leaves and scraps of litter flying about.

Villain absolutely hated it. They couldn't wait to get back to the warmth of their car.

But something stopped them.

A soft meow.

Panicked, they looked around, observing the storm again. No way were they going to let a kitty go through this.

They waited for another meow. This time they pinpointed it to an alley. How cliche. They stepped into the dark alley and could barely make out the outline of a cat. They stepped forward, palm raised. "Here, kitty, kitty."

The cat didn't move.

Villain took a concerned step forward. The cat wasn't moving at all. They started to panic and had just touched the cat's soft fur when they felt a light pat on their head and back.

Then darkness.

Well, not exactly. They were still standing, they just needed to glance under an edge to see the streetlight lit world.

They took off the object that had fallen on top of them.

It was a box.

A box had fallen on top of them.

"What on earth?"

"Hello, Villain. I see you fell right into my trap."

Villain turned around to see Hero standing proudly just a few feet away.

"Hero? What trap?"

Hero tutted. "I captured you fair and square. My trap was a success!"

They indicated to the cat in Villain's arms. It was a fake.

Villain threw the faker to the side. "You trapped me?"

"Yup!"

"You used a box trap to trap me? Are you serious?"

"Hey, it was all I had around, I don't make a living building traps and trapping innocents, unlike some people."

Villain gave them a look then leaned to walk away but Hero opened their arms and blocked them.

"Hero. Let me go."

"Nope! You're going to prison, Villain. Haha, that rhymes."

"Oh, c'mon! Today? When I've got ice cream in my car? Really? Won't you please let me go? For ice cream's sake? It'll melt if you take me to prison now."

"Too bad. You should've thought of that before you became a criminal." They took out their handcuffs. "Now, since I can't let innocent ice cream go to waste," they gestured to the alley's exit.

Villain seceded and Hero followed them to their car.

"Where's the ice cream, ya criminal?"

Villain rolled their eyes. "The backseat, oh mighty hero."

Hero opened the left car door and spotted two tote bags on the other end.

They leaned in to reach them, one hand still holding a cuffed villain's arm. But they were suddenly shoved inside and the door slammed shut.

They turned around and frantically tried to get out but the child safety was on. They scowled and slammed their palms on the window.

Villain only smirked which then turned into an evil laugh.

Hero always laughed at Villain's evil laugh, and this time, without any audio to accompany it, it only made Hero want to laugh more.

It was even funnier to see them have their moment of realization when they sat in the driver's seat with their hands still cuffed.

"What's wrong, Villain? Why aren't ya driving off?"

"Shut up."

"Come now, is that any way to talk to the person you were trying kidnap?"

"Yes? And what do you mean 'were trying to kidnap'? I did kidnap you. You are kidnapped. This is you being kidnapped right now."

"Really? Coz you're the one the one who's handcuffed and I'm the one with the ice cream."

"You're also the one who's locked inside a car."

"I can get out any time."

"And yet you haven't yet. Someone's bluffing."

"You're right. I'll prove it then." They grabbed the two bags of ice cream and threw them into Villain's lap. Then they slithered their way into the passenger seat, making sure to inconvenience Villain as much as possible, all the while Villain tried to push them back.

Hero got into the passenger seat eventually, much to Villain's annoyance.

"There. See?" They grabbed the ice cream back. "So, ciao." They unlocked the passenger seat door but Villain locked the car from the driver's seat.

"Yeah, right. You're not getting out that easily." This went on for a couple of tries.

"Well, alrighty then. Your wish." Hero plopped their feet on to the car front and started checking out the ice cream flavors.

"Hey! Feet off! This is a new car!"

"Then unlock the door."

"No chance."

"Then say goodbye to your precious car," they deadpanned.

Villain grumbled.

"Hey! Where did you get this flavor? Dark white chocolate? It's so rare!"

"I have my sources."

"Then tell them I have business for them. I'd love to have a stock of this. It's my favorite!"

"Yeah, I know, that's why I got it," at Hero's confused expression they continued, "so that I could trap you, I mean."

"How'd you know it's my favorite?"

"I watched that interview of yours, the one you did for that charity."

"Oh yeah. You watch my interviews? I didn't know you were a fan."

"I'm not! It was for work. Purely professional."

Hero rolled their eyes and ate their first scoop. It was divine. They hadn't tasted this ice cream in what, a year? They were in heaven.

"How were you able to find a whole tub of this? Tell me your ways, oh great ice cream wizard."

It was the villain's turn to roll their eyes. "It wasn't easy finding your favorite flavor. But I did eventually find a guy who can get me as much ice cream as my heart desires." They turned to Hero who had already downed a quarter of the box, "or as much as your heart desires, apparently."

"Dude. That's awesome! What's this other flavor though? I've never seen it before."

"Oh, hey, hands off, that's mine! It was my favorite as a kid and then I couldn't get it anywhere anymore."

"Berry Flash Twist?"

"Yes."

"It's melting."

"Hero! Uncuff me right now! I haven't even tasted it yet, I just bought it today!"

"Unlock the door and we'll talk, Villain."

"No."

"Then that's a no from me too." Hero opened the box and carefully took out a spoonful while Villain tried to burn a hole through the smug Hero with their eyes.

"Here, you do the honors." They held out the the spoon to Villain's mouth.

"What, why?" They were not expecting that.

"Coz you haven't had it in years? I'm not a monster, I know the pain of losing something as a child."

"What did you lose?"

"Two of my favorite shows! They were discontinued on cliffhangers!" Hero sniffed.

They stuffed the spoon into Villain's mouth before they could react, and they would cherish that look for eternity.

"So, how is it?"

Villain didn't speak for a few seconds. Then, "It's just like I remember. The strawberry, the raspberry, the twist which is lemon I think, it's amazing."

"I'm glad! Now you can't say you haven't had it in years when I confiscate your ice cream."

"C'mon, Hero. Have a heart."

"Hmm," the tapped their chin, "I'll let you go if you unlock the door—"

"Done!"

"—and take my ice cream orders from now on."

"What the heck? I'm a villain, not the ice cream man."

"Fine, don't sell 'em then, give 'em to me for free."

"And why would I do that?"

"I dunno, the same reason you were trying to rescue a fake cat? Coz you have a heart?"

Villain groaned.

"C'mon. I'll let you play with my cat."

"You have a cat?"

"Affirmative." Hero knew Villain had a soft spot for cats.

"Fine. Whatever. Ice cream in exchange for hanging out with your cat. Deal."

"Deal. Now, here," Hero uncuffed them and entered an address in the car's GPS, "My house is closer than your lair, and your ice cream needs to be frozen like yesterday. And this way you can also get to know my cat. Two birds, one stone."

"...Fine."

"Aww, don't worry, grumpy pants. A little time with my cat and your ice cream and you'll be grateful I arrested you."

Villain rolled their eyes and started driving, but not before slapping Hero's legs off the car front.

Fin 🍦😸

Now, for the "something" I mentioned, here's one and here's the second

Bonus aka brainstorming notes which are too silly not to share:

V: Oh no! A kitty cat all alone!

H: Haha, you fell right for my trap.

V: Oh no! But I have ice cream in my car! It'll melt!

H: Hahaha, sucks to be you. I'll just rescue that poor ice cream from your evil grasp if you'll excuse me

V: My evil grasp? Oh no

68 notes · View notes