#and the music video finally sparked something in me | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

malice-ov-mercy · 3 months

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Music, Love, and Sex

Summary: Lillian is filming a music video for a new single. Only problem is, it’s the duet, which means Will is also present for filming. Having him in the track was already horrible enough, now he has to be in the video too?

Song & Video: The Promise - In This Moment

Playlist for further vibes

Pairing: Will Ramos x OFC (Lillian)

Content Warnings: 18+!, smut, unprotected (p in v) sex, fingering, oral (female receiving), alcohol consumption, angst

A/N: Remember when I said something about a Will hatefuck fic??? Well…… here. The “hate” part of the hatefuck kinda got lost I think, but that’s okay I guess???? This shit fought me so hard. I want this to be a series, but with how fucking much I struggled with just this, I don’t know if I can manage. also totally unrelated, but y’all don’t know how BADLY I want a version of that song with Will. And Noah. AND Corey Taylor.

Word Count: 6.7k

Tag list: @circle-with-me @xxrainstorm @foliosriot @nyxthedestroyerofworlds @reader13000 @sammyjoeee @cookiesupplier @concretenoah @witchyweeb34 @agravemisstake @an-insane-day @lyschko666 @calisto-thoughts @agravemisstake @emzandthevoid @shroomfairy24

If you would like to be added, please let me know for who! If you tell me everyone/everything, just know that includes anything I may write for Bad Omens AND/OR Lorna Shore.

Will Ramos Masterlist

Warmth filled my mouth then throat, the hot tea and honey soothing the soreness and scratchiness I’d been dealing with for the past few days. Admittedly, I’d not been taking the best care of my voice lately, and it was starting to show. I’d been pushing myself far beyond my limits, blatantly ignoring my body telling me to stop. The strain every time I screamed or forced myself to hit notes I knew I struggled with came to a head this morning during my warm ups.

A million tiny little needles poked and scraped along my esophagus every time I spoke. My voice was all rasp and sounded like I’d been chain smoking for thirty years. Everyone asked if I was sick, but I wasn’t. Filming was almost done and I didn’t want to drag it out any longer. I could power through the final day and worry about the repercussions of pushing myself later.

“You know,”

I heaved a sigh and reluctantly looked at the man whose voice grated against my ears.

I leered at Will, pure disdain plastered on my face. His smug fucking smile sparked a fire under my skin. He hadn’t even bothered to try with his appearance, sporting his usual incredibly distressed and torn jeans and black hoodie. The director thought it was a nice contrast to my dress, stating that it further enhanced the story the video and song were trying to convey. I disagreed, but my protesting fell on deaf ears.

“I could offer you some tips to take care of your voice so you don’t ruin it.” He finished, stopping directly in front of me.

Overconfidence and prideful spite coursed in my blood, festering throughout my body. I had nothing to prove to anyone, I knew my ability and talent. The audacity of this man to think I needed his help with anything was insulting. I’d gotten this far on my own, and I damn sure wasn’t going to take advice from someone whose crowning moment was making dumb animal noises.

“If I wanted your help, I would’ve asked.” I spat.

The light chuckle he let out only angered me more.

“What’s with the hostility, Lilli?” Will said.

He placed both of his hands on the arm rests of my chair, effectively caging me in. I narrowed my eyes as he leaned down. His face was much too close to mine. The soothing, comforting spiced warmth of his cologne invaded my nostrils, casting a cloud around my head and enveloping me.

Will’s eyes deliberately landed on my lips.

“You should wear red lipstick.” His voice was low, a touch of seduction behind his tone. “I think it’d look good smeared on my face.”

He parted his lips and leaned in ever so slightly, fixing his eyes on mine. A smirk spread on his face as I stiffened.

“Try not to catch feelings.” Will whispered.

His warm breath fanned over my lips. An overwhelming urge to spit in his face came over me, but I was a grown ass adult. I couldn’t resort to that—as much as I would have loved to see the look on his face.

“I’d rather eat my own shit.”

Neither of us moved. We stayed locked in our stare down. I refused to give him the satisfaction of letting him win. The shit eating grin on his face boiled my blood. A deep scowl embedded itself on my face.

Will shifted, slotting himself even closer to me. I had to angle my neck to keep eye contact with him.

“I’d hate to see that pretty face of yours get stuck like that, petal.”

As I was about to reach up and slap the taste from his mouth, Austin’s voice cut through the tension.

“What’s going on here? You two getting in some practice?” He joked, either ignoring or not picking up the clear and utter rage seeping from me.

“Get him away from me Austin, before you guys have to find another vocalist.” The threat tumbled from my mouth. It didn’t sound as dangerous as I intended.

Will licked his lips, tongue dangerously close to grazing mine. He studied me a moment longer then scoffed, stealing a portion of my breath as he stepped back. He turned on his heel and walked away, keeping his focus in front of him.

My head pounded in time with my heart. I kept my eyes on him until he disappeared somewhere on set.

“That was a little fucked up Lillian.” Austin scolded me.

He handed me a bag of throat lozenges, a disapproving expression on his face.

“I’ll apologize to you, but he can kiss my ass.” I rolled my eyes and tossed a lozenge in my mouth. “He’s done nothing but get under my skin since meeting him. He shouldn’t even be here anyway. He wasn’t my choice for the song.”

I could feel the annoyance and irritation radiating off of Austin. He pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed heavily. I knew it bothered him how much I disliked Will, but their bond wasn’t important to me. I only cared about mine and Austin’s. Will was nothing but a thorn in my side.

“It’s not Will’s fault the shit with Noah fell through.” He reminded me.

“I know that.”

Austin fixed his eyes on me. His scrutinizing stare made me squirm.

“I’m gonna tell you this again,” he raised his brows, wagging his finger at me while he spoke. “It was a blessing in disguise. Will fits the song better, whether you want to admit it or not Lillian.”

If I rolled my eyes any harder, they’d be stuck in the back of my head—but Austin was right.

What little I managed to work on with Noah sounded good, it just didn’t have the vibe I was hoping for. After that first session together, he and the rest of his band unexpectedly became incredibly busy. We couldn’t make the time to finish the song and eventually it fell apart, leaving me panicked and scrambling to find a replacement.

Austin being the wonderful, supportive, best friend he is, suggested Will. On paper, it looked great. His band and myself were gaining traction like crazy. It would give everyone exposure to our differing fanbases. I would’ve been an idiot to decline, but I still tried to find someone else before eventually agreeing.

Everything started off great and promising. We were polite and friendly, excited to be working together. However, Will and I quickly began to butt heads, resulting in heated arguments and having to stand my ground more than I would’ve liked. It’s a miracle we managed to work together at all, let alone actually finish the song.

“I don’t appreciate the lecture you’re trying to give me.” I turned my attention back to my now lukewarm tea. “Thank you for the lozenges, though.”

Austin heaved a sigh. “I’m not trying to lecture you Lilli. Honest.”

I ignored him, focusing intensely on my cup and the lingering flavor of the honey lemon lozenge. He waited a few beats before giving up and scrubbing his hands over his face.

“Okay. Well, we’re going out after wrapping up. You should come.”

“I have things I need to do.” I lied. Literally anything else sounded better than spending even more time with Will.

Austin wrapped an arm above my chest and hugged me. I gave his arm a few quick pats.

“Adam’s gonna be there.”

My heart jumped.

“I’ll see what I can do.”

I felt the smirk on his lips as he pressed a quick kiss to the side of my head.

“I’ll shoot a text with the details. Have fun with Will.”

Austin squeezed me one last time before disappearing in the same direction after Will.

I did everything in my power to wear anything but red lipstick. Various different shades of pink, nudes—even black, but unfortunately for me, the director insisted on the red.

“It looks better with the dress and it’ll make the pay off for the kiss even better.” I quietly mocked.

The kiss. The big scene. The thing I’ve been dreading all morning. I thought about eating copious amounts of garlic and onion beforehand, but Austin scolded the hell outta me. He knew I’d flip my lid if Will did that to me. Instead, I made sure to pop a mint before taking my place. I just hoped he didn’t like spearmint.

Pins and needles pricked my hands and fingers. I rubbed them together hoping to ease the tingling, only to be met with more stinging pain. I grimaced and shook out my hands.

Deep breaths, Lillian. You’re almost done.

I closed my eyes and focused on my breathing.

It’s just a stupid kiss. It’s part of the job. Just… Think of anyone else.

Hands settled themselves on my shoulders, startling me out of my head.

“Relax, petal, it’s just me.” Will whispered in my ear.

The warmth of his touch and the gentleness of his hands caressing my arms soothed my anxiety and nerves a smidge—not that I would ever let him know that. Or how soft his hands were. Or that the infuriatingly sweet sound of the pet name made me blush.

“Okay! Last scene! Let’s make it a good one!” The director yelled out. “Will, Lillian, make it believable!”

He pressed his forehead to the back of my head as the track kicked on again. I instantly threw out the creeping thoughts of Will.

“My promise is I will hurt you.”

Will’s breath was light and warm on my neck as he sang. He slid his hand down and up my arm. I turned around in his embrace, his hand slipping to my waist. He pulled me closer and I clutched his side. I tried to ignore the deafening thud of my heart in my ears.

“My promise is I will hurt you.”

His other hand caressed the back of my neck. My lips parted slightly as he tipped my head back. He softly tugged my bottom lip with his thumb. Lust billowed from his eyes, like smoke from a raging fire, surrounding me and making it difficult to breathe. I found myself being dragged under his spell and I couldn’t stop it.

“My promise is I will hurt you.”

Our voices blended together, the sound hauntingly beautiful.

As the last few notes of the song played, Will’s eyes flicked to my crimson painted lips, his own parting in anticipation. I leaned in. My tongue delicately licked his bottom lip, capturing it in a sensual, hot kiss. Will’s hand at my neck flexed, gently tightening his grasp and pulling me closer. His tongue slipped in my mouth, a small, content sigh escaping him as ours met and tangled together.

His lips were soft and slotted perfectly with mine. Every breath I took, he stole. I felt detached from myself, lost in the moment and sensation of him. Will teasingly nipped my bottom lip. A tiny smirk tugged the corners of his mouth at the quiet, involuntary moan I made.

Will slipped his hand from my neck, trailing it slowly down to the top of my chest, thumb resting at my pulse. My heart pounded behind my rib cage like it was trying to escape its confines. There was no way he didn’t feel it.

Delicately, he pressed his fingers into my neck, not enough to choke, but enough to make me short circuit and cling to him. My head felt empty, but so full of air. He moved to cradle the back of my skull, his fingers gripping strands of my hair with a gentle roughness. His arm wrapped entirely around my waist.

With a barely there breath, I broke our passionate kiss. My lungs burned from the lack of oxygen. Will nuzzled his nose to my cheek. He kissed the corner of my mouth. His hand slipped from my hair, moving it back to my neck. He pressed his thumb firmly to my pulse.

“Your heart’s racing, Lilli.” He whispered, low and sultry.

I dared a glance at him. Bright crimson was smeared all over his mouth and kiss swollen lips. Will’s eyes burned fiercely with a deep carnal desire so intense, it my stomach flip. He looked at me as if he wanted to devour me whole, like he hadn’t had a meal in days and I was the only thing that could satisfy his voracious appetite. A wave of goosebumps prickled over my skin. The fervency in his gaze stirred something inside me. I craved more.

A chorus of applause and whistling erupted, popping the bubble around me and Will. I quickly pushed myself out of his grasp and hurried off set. I needed out of here and away from this place—especially Will. Without even looking back, I knew he was watching me. I coud feel his scorching eyes on my back.

My face burned like hot coals and the thoughts clambering in my head were giving me a headache. His uncanny ability to claw his way under my skin and twist me around was infuriating.

How could I have let him trap me like that? How could I have let myself enjoy kissing him?

The rest of my day was spent trying to forget the video shoot. No amount of scrubbing or cold water helped me shake the lingering sensation of Will’s lips. It spread like a poison through my body. Every time my eyes closed, the scene replayed on the back of my lids. His soft touch, the warmth and glossed over look in his eyes. My lungs still felt empty.

BZZT! BZZT!

My phone lit up with a text from Austin. I gave the message a quick read, happy to see that the bar was within walking distance of my apartment and one that I frequented often enough to have become a regular. They were all already there and waiting for me. I hadn’t told Austin if I planned to join them because truthfully I was still deciding. It wouldn’t take me long to get ready. I really just did not want to be near Will again.

Another message came through and I sighed, making my way to my closet to find the little black dress that hugged my curves in all the right ways.

“Just an hour,” I muttered to myself, stripping out of the sweats I was wearing. “I’m only staying for an hour. That’s all I have.”

I stared at the dress on the hanger, deciding to forego wearing underwear. Panty lines were something I didn’t want to subconsciously worry about tonight.

Damn Adam and my schoolgirl crush.

Loud music and a barrage of voices greeted me as I entered the bar. Glancing around, I spotted a small group of people far in the back laughing, instantly recognizing Austin’s figure. As if he felt me staring, he looked my direction. His brows raised as he took in my appearance and smirked. I saw him subtly nudge Adam’s foot with his own. Quickly, I turned away and walked towards the bar, taking the first seat I saw.

I gestured to the bartender who nodded in my direction. A searing gaze heated my skin. I glanced over my shoulder, immediately catching Will’s eyes boring into me. He stared a moment longer before hastily excusing himself and disappearing somewhere. I shifted in my seat to try and shake the lingering warmth.

A body blocked my view. I glanced up, a big smile spreading across my face.

“Is this seat taken?” He asked.

Standing up, I wrapped my arms around Adam’s neck, hugging him closely. His arms wrapped low around my waist.

“Of course not.” I sat down. “I’d be more offended if you didn’t sit.”

His chuckle and bright grin made my heart flutter.

“What’re you drinking?”

I brushed my hair away from my neck, gathering it all on my shoulder opposite of Adam. His eyes followed my movements like a hawk, not caring at all for subtly. Smoothing my hands over my thighs, I smiled coyly and pretended I didn’t notice his lingering gaze on my chest.

“I haven’t started yet.” I answered. Adam fixed his pretty blue eyes on mine.

The bartender came around and placed two lemon drop shots on the counter. I handed them my card then slid one of the shots to Adam.

“I can’t stay for long, so make it worth my while?”

Adam smiled again, a flirty glint in his eye. Grabbing the shot, he tipped it towards me.

“I can do that.”

We clinked our glasses together, tapping them on the counter before tossing them back. The sour sweetness of lemon hit harder than I expected. My whole body shivered. Adam grimaced slightly.

“So, tell me about the album.”

My evening with Adam would have been more enjoyable if Will didn’t spend his blatantly staring at me from across the bar. Every time I glanced up, his eyes were burning into me. Each look was more heated than the last. My body felt red hot, either from the alcohol or Will practically eye fucking me, I couldn’t tell. I definitely stayed longer than intended. The hour I allotted turned into three.

“I think I’ve hit my limit.” Adam said with a slur.

I pouted, batting my lashes. “One more shot? For me?”

Adam squinted. “Are you trying to get me drunk?”

“Maybe.”

His scrunched face cracked into a smile. “You’ve convinced me, but this is the last one.”

He signaled for the bartender again while I sensed a familiar gaze on me. Despite the annoyance and anger bubbling in my stomach, I ignored it. I looked Will’s way every time, but I’ve had it with him. If he was trying to get under my skin, it worked.

The bartender returned with our shots. Before Adam could toss it back, I stopped him by hooking my arm around his. He looked stunned by our sudden closeness. In my periphery, I noticed Will stiffen.

“Last one. Might as well make it count, right?” I said, low and sultry.

Adam’s eyes flicked to my lips then back to me.

“Absolutely.”

I felt the rumble in his voice deep in my bones—and pussy. Our eyes and arms stayed locked together as we struggled to take our shots through our giggles. We spilled more than half of them on ourselves, but neither of us cared. Being so close to Adam was far more intoxicating than the booze flowing in my blood. His lips were so close I could almost taste them.

“You have really pretty eyes.” Adam leaned in closer. “They’re like sapphires.”

My cheeks flushed. Our faces were mere inches apart. It wouldn’t take much to close the distance. Adam’s large hand delicately landed on my knee. A set of brown daggers bore into the side of my face.

“Your card, Lillian.” The bartender’s voice broke through mine and Adam’s atmosphere.

Adam retracted his hand. Coldness quickly replaced the warmth he left. All the alcohol I consumed rushed to my head. I thanked them and shoved the card back in my purse.

“I, uh, should probably head home.” I forced a polite smile. “I stayed way too late.”

He mimicked my smile though it didn’t reach his eyes. “Sure. You have a ride home?”

I nodded. “Yeah.”

I wanted to tell him I was walking home, ask him if he’d walk me there, but that felt juvenile. Instead, I hugged him as tightly as I could and left him alone at the bar.

The temperature dropped quite a bit since I arrived. I shivered as I sat down on the bench, silently cursing myself for wearing such a short dress. It may have been black and long sleeved, but it damn near exposed my entire ass and certainly didn’t leave much to the imagination.

I ran my hands over my thighs in a poor attempt to warm them. The sound of the bar door opening caught my attention. I looked towards the sound, hoping to see Adam, only to be severely let down by Will’s unwelcome presence.

I didn’t even try to make the irritated groan I let out.

“Lilli—“

“Go away, Will.”

He walked over towards me and stopped. I refused to look at him. My head was already fuzzy and jumbled enough. I didn’t need his warm eyes or gentle expression fucking me up further.

Running a hand over his face, he sighed heavily.

“I’m not letting you sit out here drunk and alone.” Will said, sitting on the opposite side of the bench. “I was raised better than that.”

He draped an arm across the top of the bench and crossed his legs. There was a hint of malice behind that ‘I’, and it seemed like he was trying to imply something.

I scoffed. “I don’t need you to babysit me.”

Stifling tension grew between us. Even out here, his damn eyes warmed my skin. It infuriated me. I was sick of him staring at me.

I jumped off the bench and stormed off in the direction of my apartment.

“Lilli? Lilli!” He called after me. I hurried my pace when I heard him get up.

“Where are you going?! Lillian!”

The use of my full name stopped me dead in my tracks. I reeled around, momentarily startled by how close he was.

“Home!” My body trembled with the volume I shouted. “And more importantly: away from you!”

Will looked stunned at my sudden outburst. I hoped he felt the anger radiating from me.

Huffing another frustrated breath, I turned and continued stomping along the pavement. A shiver spread through my body. My blood was boiling but not enough to keep me warm. I hastily rummaged through my purse in search of my keys. A second set of footsteps started following a few paces behind me. Any fight or argument I had in me died when I felt something pleasantly warm settle on my shoulders

I turned my head just enough to see Will’s jacket draped over my shoulders, his spiced cologne swarming my nose.

“You’re shivering.” He said flatly.

Deciding it would be a waste of breath to argue, I let Will follow me home. He left plenty of space between us. His jacket was as close as I wanted him. The rest of the walk was uncomfortably quiet. Drunken exhaustion tugged heavily at my bones with every step. My bed had never been so enticing before. I was beyond ready to sleep this day away.

My building came into view and I sighed, feeling relieved. Will hurried to stand by my side. I punched in the code and the door unlocked.

“You can leave now, you annoying prick.” I yanked the door open.

“Not until I know you’re in your apartment.”

I pinched the bridge of my nose. “Jesus fucking Christ, you’re literally worse than a stray fucking puppy.”

My words seemed to have struck a nerve. He grabbed my wrist as I stepped through the door.

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

He tried pulling me back to him, but I ripped out of his grasp. Ignoring his angry yells after me, I took the steps two at a time. All the rage festering in my blood was on the verge of bursting open my skin. I don’t know how much more clear I could be with Will.

My fingers trembled as I desperately tried to unlock my door before Will followed.

“Sonuvabitch!” I spat, dropping my keys.

“LILLIAN!”

Will emerged from the stairwell. The neighbors were about to be very rudely awoken.

“FUCK OFF WILL!”

Finally, I got the door unlocked. Unfortunately, I couldn’t close it fast enough. Will snaked his way through, narrowly avoiding being crushed between the door frame and door.

“What the fuck is your problem, Lillian?!”

“YOU!” I shoved him against the door, causing it to slam shut. “You’ve done nothing but piss me off and get under my skin all day!”

I kicked off my shoes and forcefully shrugged off Will’s jacket, no longer finding the gesture kind or nice. He took a step towards me as I threw my purse down. I was seething. If looks could kill, Will would be dead where he stood. I closed the short distance between us and glared up defiantly at him. His own anger was evident on his face.

“You weren’t even my first choice for the song to begin with! You were hardly my second! I was too fucking nice to tell Austin no when he suggested you!”

Will scoffed. “You should be thanking him and me! If it wasn’t for me, you’re fucking song wouldn’t have taken off the way it did!”

Skin on skin echoed off the walls of my small apartment. My hand stung from the smack, but the red mark on Will’s face certainly helped ease the pain. Will licked his lips. His jaw tensed as he glared at me.

“How fucking dare you?” My voice shook with rage.

I raised my hand to slap him again, but he caught my wrist mid swing. He looked like he wanted to say something else. Will yanked me close to him, leaving whatever he wanted to say unspoken as he crashed our lips together. My tongue instantly slipped between his teeth, desperately seeking to tangle with his. His hands grabbed at my waist, needy and rough.

There was no tenderness in the kiss. Could it be passionate if it was fueled by hate and rage?

Will walked us backwards, pushing me against the nearest wall he could. He broke the kiss with a loud gasp, then kissed every millimeter of my jaw, trailing them down to my neck.

“You’re so hot when you act like you hate me.” Will husked, his breath searing my neck and covering the sensitive skin in playful, quick nips.

“It’s not an act.” My voice was breathless, almost needy.

His lips curved into a small smirk. “If you hated me, you wouldn’t be letting me kiss you.”

I muttered a quiet swear. He teasingly brushed his lips across my throat to get to the other side of my neck, taking great care to cover it just as thoroughly with soft bites.

Will inhaled deeply, pressing his body closer to mine. “You smell so good.”

His mouth attached to my neck again, licking a trail of hot, open mouthed kisses everywhere he could reach. I clutched his sides with a breathless sigh. Will softly rutted his hips into me. My head spun feeling the erection confined in his jeans. I arched my back in a silent plea, one he was more than happy to answer.

Will detached from me briefly and wrapped his arms around me, lifting me off the ground. I threaded my fingers in his hair, panting heavily.

“Where?” He asked in between a series of kisses.

I hooked my legs behind him as he walked over to my sofa. “Couch.”

Gently, Will set me on the plush cushions. My dress slid up, fully exposing my pussy. He planted a hand on the back of the couch and straddled my lap, caging me in.

His lustful eyes sliced into me. For the second time today, I found myself under his spell. I was frozen, hypnotized. My heart pounded against my ribs, the thudding deafening my ears. Will dipped his head and parted his lips, his warm breath fanning over mine. His free hand slipped between our bodies.

“I’d ask why you’re not wearing panties, but I don’t care.” His voice was low, drenched in desire. “Easier for me to get to.”

“Sure you don’t wanna make a snide remark? Don’t wanna call me me slut? Maybe a whore?”

He chuckled lightly against my neck. “Only if you’re into that, petal.”

Long, slender fingers delicately caressed my center. My eyes fluttered shut and my head fell back, giving Will total and complete access to my neck.

The urgency he had earlier waned. He explored the canvas of my throat, softly painting my skin with his tongue. A breathless moan ghosted past my lips as he nipped just above my collarbone. His middle fingers teasingly ran along my slit, then dipped into my wetness.

Will groaned quietly, becoming more aggressive with his bites as he collected my arousal. He teased my entrance, barely slipping inside, but enough to make me whine softly. The noise I made prompted him to insert his finger. I rewarded him with another moan, louder and more needy this time. The gentleness of his intimate touch and his roughness of teeth overwhelmed me. Every movement was purposeful and deliberate, working to figure out what made me tick. It didn’t take him long to find perfection.

“Shit,” I gasped, feeling a second finger slip inside.

“Lilli,” the sound of my name in Will’s sultry tone nearly broke me.

All I offered was a “hm?”

“I can’t help but wonder,” he curled his fingers, finding my sweet spot with such ease, it’s like he’d done it a thousand and one times, “Do you taste as good as you feel?”

Will smirked devilishly in the crook of my neck when he felt me throb.

“I’m pretty good with my tongue.”

“Put your money where your mouth is then.” I challenged him.

His lips curved then he harshly bit my neck.

“With fucking pleasure, petal.”

Will pulled his fingers from me and quickly sank to his knees. He spread my thighs open, eyes fixed on the dripping mess he helped make.

“What a pretty pussy.” He whispered to himself.

His lips connected to my thigh, warm breath fanning over the sensitive skin. He split his time, making sure to give each thigh adequate attention. Will followed the trail of bite marks, kissing every one of them so softly, I would have missed it if I wasn’t watching him.

I gasped quietly when his mouth ghosted over my outer lips. My eyes fluttered shut. He blessed my pussy with light, gentle kisses before licking a long stripe and spreading me open.

“God I fucking hate you,” I moaned, arching my back.

Will groaned between my legs, licking my pussy like a man starved. His experienced tongue worked in ways I don’t think even sober me could comprehend. The noises he pulled from me were loud and shameful. Every whimper I made fueled him. He pushed my thighs further open and back. I glanced down at him, instantly finding his lustful stare. I ignored the fluttering in my chest.

An inhuman grunt sounded from Will, almost resembling a snarl. The noise vibrated through me, causing me to buck my hips and toss my head back.

“Fuck.”

His nose brushed my clit as he lapped desperately. The obscene, feral snarling was insanely hot and arousing. The starving man was gone and had been replaced with a rabid, unhinged animal. He couldn’t devour me fast enough. I grabbed a fistful of his wild curls, tugging the locks roughly at the root. Will grunted as I guided his head where I wanted him. He sucked my clit between his lips, and flattened his tongue, firmly pressing his tongue against the sensitive bud.

My eyes rolled back, a tense knot forming in my gut. I gripped his hair tighter. Will noticed the change in my breathing. His fingers dug into my thighs. He submissively let me grind his face against me, going where I moved him.

His name set heavily on the tip of my tongue, but I managed to swallow it down before the knot loosened, giving way to my climax. Stars plastered the back of my eyelids. An erotic, depraved cacophony filled my apartment. My chest heaved with a blend of loud and whisper quiet moans. Will didn’t stop until my wailing did.

He softly brought my legs down, peppering my pussy and inner thighs with more kisses peered up at me. The tip of his nose to the bottom of his chin glistening. He looked great down on his knees.

Something overcame me. In a quick motion, I reached for Will’s face, bringing his lips back to mine. I’d tasted myself plenty, but something about Will made the taste better. Carnal desire buzzed under my skin. I never needed anyone as badly as I needed Will right now

I broke the kiss and leaned away from Will so I could look in his eyes. He followed after me trying to chase my lips. The absolute pure, unadulterated lust in his eyes washed over me, saturating me entirely. An unfamiliar emotion swelled in my chest.

“I need you.” I whispered, scared I would break through the world we created.

“You can have me, Lillian.” Will breathed against my lips then connected them once more.

My hands left Will’s face and went for his jeans. I palmed his bulge, relishing in the small noise he made. He rutted into my hand, his own desperation giving way. I unbuttoned and unzipped him then tugged at the waistbands of his pants and underwear, freeing him slightly.

With a gentle touch, I wrapped my hand around his hard cock. We both moaned, me at his size and Will at my firm grip. I swiped my thumb over his leaking tip. Will gasped softly, gripping the back of the couch. His quiet whimpers as I touched him, jerking slow and methodical, greatly turned me on. I brought my other hand to my pussy, not at all surprised to find myself soaked.

Will’s eyes were scrunched tight. I ran my slick covered fingers over the head of his cock, and he whined. The needy, outright pathetic sound shot straight to my core. He started thrusting as I continued to stroke him. Seeing him melt into a mess at just my hands almost made me forget how desperately I needed him inside me.

“Lillian,” he whined, lost in his own pleasure.

“What is it, pretty boy?” I brushed our lips together, a small smirk on my face. His dick twitched ever so slightly.

Without warning, Will ripped my hands away from him. Momentarily confused, I watched as he hastily removed his shoes and shoved his bottoms down past his knees, his cock springing free. I hurriedly shifted so I was laying on my back. I spread my legs as wide as could, giving him plenty of access. Will came back to me, hovering over my body and staring deep into the depths of my being.

He grabbed his dick and slid the tip up and down my slit.

“For someone who says they hate me, you sure are wet.”

I squirmed under him as he rubbed my clit with his tip.

“Believe me, I do fucking hate you.”

Will huffed a laugh. He leaned down, pressing his lips to my ear and cock to my entrance.

“I’m gonna enjoy fucking that attitude out of you.”

His voice was dark and seedy, a complete and utter contrast to everything else I’ve known from him. The words sent a delightful shudder through my bones.

My retort died in my throat as Will slammed into me, making me cry out. He pulled out, leaving just his tip inside, then pounded me again, bottoming out. His cock stretched me, filling me entirely. My walls clenched, molding around his size. His thrusts were deep and long. It didn’t take me long to be rendered speechless.

“Fuck, you feel so. Fucking. Good,” Will grunted, accentuating his words with powerful thrusts.

One of his hands roughly grabbed my breast. His teeth grazed along my jaw. My hands slipped under his shirt and I pressed my fingertips into his taut abs. His skin was so warm and soft.

“I wish I could feel more of your skin.” He husked.

A shrill moan erupted from me. I dug my nails into his waist. The tip of Will’s cock hit the sensitive spongy spot inside. My mouth fell open, a string of incoherent babbling and salacious moans escaping me with every strained breath I took, unable to think of anything but the immense pleasure as he kept his pace.

“You sound so fucking pretty falling apart, petal,” Will rasped into my neck. “I need you to sing louder for me.”

And I did. I cried out every sound he wanted to hear, his own pleasure filled sounds drowned out by mine.

“That’s it,” his breath was blindingly hot on my mouth, “Sing for me, my little songbird.”

A second orgasm barreled through me. I clutched shamelessly and desperately to Will. I pulled his chest flush to mine and wrapped my legs around him, keeping him buried inside as my walls clenched around his dick. He murmured something, but I was lost to ecstasy.

Will licked my bottom lip into his mouth then unloaded, his strained whimper getting caught in our sloppy, desperate mashing of lips and tongues. He thrust with each spasm of his cock, fucking his cum inside me slow and deep, making sure my cunt received every last drop.

The fire between us dwindled as exhaustion pulled at our muscles. Our kiss became lazy, turning to simple soft pecks then to merely ghosting together. He tenderly pressed his forehead to mine, breath heavy on my lips. Gently, I placed my hand on his cheek. Will lifted his head enough to look me in my eyes. The heat I felt all night from his stare washed over me once again, only this time it was calmer, more like a comforting warmth of a fireplace on a snowy winter’s night.

Will kept his intense gaze fixed on mine and kissed the inside of my wrist. My heart skipped and I wondered if he felt it. I craned my neck and brought our lips together again, overcome with the desire for him to steal every breath I had remaining in my lungs.

For that moment, I forgot all about how much I despised Will.

WILL’S POV

I could have left her to sleep on the couch. I didn’t need to carry her to bed, but she looked so uncomfortable curled up on the couch. Soft snores fluttered past her lips. She looked ethereal in the moonlight, a soft silver glow illuminating her figure. Her chest and neck was littered in tiny little bruises from my teeth. She would be furious when she saw them, I’m sure of it. I brushed strands of her onyx colored hair from her angelic face. My heart lurched. Fuck she was gorgeous.

I leaned down and softly kissed her plump lips. A small whine left her. I chuckled lightly and kissed her again, this time her lips curved in a tiny smile, one I would have missed if I wasn’t already focused on her mouth. Lillian shifted in her sleep and turned her body away from me.

With a defeated sigh, I pulled myself away from her. I doubt she would want me here in the morning, so I decided I should probably leave. I exited her room and walked towards the kitchen. Quietly, I looked through her cabinets for cups. Once I found them, I grabbed one and filled it with water. Next I went to her bathroom in search of ibuprofen. It felt like an invasion of privacy to rummage through her medicine cabinet, but leaving her water and medication was the least I could do.

My reflection grabbed my attention. Faintly, I could see color on my cheek from her smack. It still stung—and stirred something inside me that I would need to unpacked later—but it was rightfully deserved. Her song was great with or without me. She had immense talent. I don’t know why I said such a cruel thing.

I set the water and meds on her bedside table. I allowed myself to admire her one last time before placing one final kiss on her cheek.

Shutting the bedroom door behind me, I glanced around the living room for my jacket. It laid in a crumpled pile at the front door. I stared at it, internally debating if I should leave it or not.

If I take it, I have no reason to come back, but if I leave it, there’s a chance I do.

I scoffed at myself.

“‘I fucking hate you.’” I repeated her words. “Yeah, I wish that was a mutual feeling.”

I turned the handle, leaving my jacket on the floor as I left her apartment.

The irony of me telling her to not catch feelings only to fall victim to my own warning.

#will ramos x ofc #will ramos fanfiction #will ramos fanfic #will ramos fic #lorna shore fanfiction #lorna shore fanfic #lorna shore fic

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lovesickheize · 2 years

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mr insanity. ,˖ 𓆟 𓆝 𓆟

dpr ian (christian yu) x gn!reader

when two mentally unstable strangers find comfort in each other's presence.

⊱ ─────────ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ───────── ⊰

wc: 970

tw! this fic might be triggering for some people. it's not extreme, but it is based on the two characters' mental instability. this is pure fiction.

this fic is inspired by dpr ian's music, especially his first album. my main inspiration was the music video and the lyrics of "nerves", so i'd recommend listening to it, while reading this.

▔ྀ̥̊͝ཾ▔ྀ̥̊͝ཾ▔ྀ̥̊͝ཾ▔༺ ᨦ♡ᨩ༻▔ྀ̥̊͝ཾ▔ྀ̥̊͝ཾ▔ྀ̥̊͝ཾ▔

and i'm sorry i was hurting too much to know that you were standing right there.

it was a moment of spark in the aeonian darkness.

you were sitting on the cold surface of a tunnel's pavement. it was raining hard outside, but you were too invested in your cigarette, diet coke and music to get scared by the thunder.

there was noone around, people locking themselves in their houses to save themselves from the undying storm. you couldn't care less about the cold. you couldn't care less about anything to be frank.

you were just sitting there, body too dehydrated to shed a tear, in a white t-shirt and sweatpants. life had been such a pain in the ass that month.

you chuckled suddenly, the sound leaving your mouth too sad for a laugh. it was ironic, how a song playing on your 'nostalgia' spotify playlist could describe your life so accurately.

you felt a presence approaching your body. head never turning to acknowledge the person that had just sat right next to you. the mysterious person took off their jacket and placed it on your shoulders. you hadn't noticed you were trembling under the ice cold air up until then.

"thanks." you mumbled, still not looking at the person.

they didn't reply, instead pulling something that sounded like a lighter. you caught a cigarette between their tattoo-filled hands with the corner of your eyes.

"i'm ian." they said.

you finally turned your head, the man in front you looking as dead as you did. "i'm y/n."

a comfortable silence took over once again, joining the sound of the storm. a couple of cigarettes later, you looked at him.

"do your tattoos have a meaning?" you asked the person who you now knew was named ian.

"some of them do, some of them don't. this is my favourite." he lifted his t-shirt's sleeve a little to show you the bald man on his left shoulder. "it's a man who looks at his own brain and realises it is limitless." his voice was deep and raspy, probably because of smoking.

"does it symbolize something?" you asked.

"it's just... you know, overthinking. if our brains weren't limitless, we wouldn't think so much, intrusive thoughts wouldn't dominate our already repetitive grey lives..." he said.

"agreed." you replied, tracing the lined man with your fingertips. "it's really pretty."

"do you have any tattoos?" ian asked.

the hand that was tracing his tattoo was now traveling up your body, reaching your hair and moving it to the side. "i got this crescent moon under my hairline a couple of years ago."

"what does it mean?" ian looked at it, eyes admiring the black lines.

"i just love the moon. ever since i was a child, i liked staying up late and looking at it in silence. it comforted me. still does."

"so beautiful." he murmured.

"you know, the moon usually symbolizes illusions and deception, but i view it as a lonely star. it reminds me of myself when i was a teen. a bright positive person in the middle of darkness and evil. but i never was as strong as the moon, i couldn't bear the malevolent nature of our society, i ended up breaking. that's why i look up to the moon. it's strong and confident. just what i wished i was."

you hadn't noticed how his eyes were stuck on you. "wow." was all he could say. "i'm sorry, i probably talk too m-"

you were interrupted by his lips on yours. you responded to the kiss, letting his tongue enter your mouth. the kiss was passionate, you felt hungry for the feeling he was offering you. his hands made their way to the back of your neck, one of his fingers caressing the moon on it, the other holding your hand. your free hand was intertwined in his soft hair, holding him close.

how a stranger could make you feel so much stuff after such a long feelingless period of your life you couldn't understand. it had been years since the last time you genuinely felt something so intense.

he pulled away, both of you catching your breath. "wanna go for a walk?" he asked.

your hand was still being held by his, you nodding positively. the two of you walked past the tunnel, cigarettes, diet coke, headphones, everything long forgotten behind. you were walking in the rain, knowing damn well it was just the two of you and the water-filled clouds.

you danced in the rain. it had been such a long time since the last time you flashed a smile that was so real. he looked at you being happy, almost dead, but still happy. he turned you around, you held his hands so tightly, he also seemed fine for a moment.

after some time, exhausted as you were, you moved closer to him, leaning your head on his wet by the rain chest. his arms wrapped around you, holding you as warm as they could, soaked as he was.

the rain was still heavy, but you didn't care. he didn't care.

that's all you could remember from that night moments before you left everything behind. the only night you felt genuinely happy, forgetting how cruel life is.

"thank you for making me feel." he whispered

the car's wheels were forced to turn, leading the car towards the hill.

welcome to the show. so, can you stay a little longer, just until i know you see me standing here?

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archangeldyke-all · 3 months

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im 100% gonna assume tumblr ate this ask, or maybe you didn't wanna do it, if not then obvi that's your choice but! i went skating on the 6th- yes I'm still thinking about this- for my baby cousin's birthday and I could not stop thinking about sev with a skating reader

maybe sev has never rollerskated a day in her life, maybe she's already good at it, but ik for sure that once she was good at it she and reader would be that skating couple that be at the rink basically slow grinding around the floor (idk if that happens like... outside of the hood??? but yk like the old heads that be line dancing but in skate, there's the younger or like new adults that be skating all sexy like and shit)

maybe reader works at the skating rink or something and sev comes there regularly on her off days idfk but I need a rollerskating couple reader/sev omggggggg

THIS IS SO .... mARS THIS IS SO CUTE

men and minors dni

sevika can't skate for SHIT

the first time you take her to a rink, she's all cocky. she's seen the videos of couples dancing around the rink, and you took her to a nighttime session-- no kids allowed-- she knows what's coming.

what she doesn't know is that skating's not just something she can pick up like that.

so you're circling her, twirling around in excitement as she laces up, and she stands, thrilled to finally get to grind on you.

and she abruptly eats major shit.

like, legs flailing in the air, ass hitting the ground, completely wipes out.

of course, you start cracking up. she's fine, she's not bleeding or anything, so you have nothing to be worried about (except maybe dying from oxygen deprivation from how hard you're laughing.)

and sevika's on the ground like :O

like she had no idea that skates would be so... slidey.

eventually, you catch your breath, and sevika gets on all fours, slowly pulling herself to standing.

you help her to the rink, and she's literally shaking the entire time. she's got one hand on the wall, one hand on your shoulder, gripping onto you like her life depends on it.

and people and couples are gliding past you as you help sevika slowly slowly circle the ring, and she gets so fucking pissed off and embarrassed because "they make it look so fucking easy!"

if you try to let go of her to do a little lap, she'll freak out, grabbing onto you with both hands and screaming while you pull her away from the wall. she's so dramatic.

anyways, the night is full of sevika pouting as you slowly try to teach her how to move. she's stubborn and clumsy and stiff as shit, and she keeps on falling onto her ass.

you have to keep pressing kisses to her face, pinning her against the tiny half wall and kissing away her pout until she's ready to go for another round.

"this is no fucking fun." she mumbles, pouting.

"this is the best date we've had in months!" you say, giggling against her mouth. she groans.

"that's just 'cause you like seeing me eat shit." she complains. you giggle.

"it's just funny sev! my big tough muscly girlfriend can't skate!" you say. she huffs, and you lean forward to kiss her again. "you know, there's a bar here... and we can always just grind on the carpet." you say. sevika's pout lessens, a little interest sparking in her eye, and you giggle. "but!" you say, and she groans. "you have to promise to come back with me for a few more weeks." you say.

"no fuckin' way!" she cries. you laugh.

"you'll get better if you keep practicing!" you say. she rolls her eyes. "plus, then we can grind like they are." you say, nodding to an old couple who've been running laps around the two of you all night. the old man's got his hands on his lady's hips, and she's got a grin on her face as they skate to the rhythm of the music, occasionally twirling around to press kisses to each other's lips. sevika sighs, admiring the sweet couple, before she looks back at you.

"are there butt pads or somethin' i can wear next time?" she asks. you grin.

"we'll put you in four pairs of boxers-- it'll pad your falls." you say. sevika sighs and then smiles.

"fine. take me to the fuckin' bar." she says. you grin and start slowly skating sevika toward the exit of the rink.

taglist!

@lesbeaniegreenie @fyeahnix @sapphicsgirl @half-of-a-gay @ellabslut @thesevi0lentdelights @sexysapphicshopowner @shimtarofstupidity @love-sugarr @chuucanchuucan @222danielaa @badbye666 @femme-historian @lia-winther @gr0ssz0mbi3 @ellsss @sevikaspillowprincess @leomatsuzaki

#this is SO CUTE she'd be like a newborn deer #i'm actually teaching myself how to skate-- i haven't gotten on my skates in months with all the cold and ice but still i'm trying #it's SO cool that you can skate well enough to dance mars omg that's my goal #someday...#sevika #sevika imagine #sevika arcane #sevika x reader #sevika x you #soft sevika

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joonggphilia · 7 months

Text

💛🖤Chasing That Feeling🖤💛

———————————————————————

Pairing: Soft dom! Huening Kai x Bttm male reader Genre: Fluff, Smut. CW: Praise kink, Cheating, semi-public sex, ass eating A/N: The high school boyfriend bit may be a little cheesy, but I like it! Huening Kai is the best person on this planet. Hands down.

———————————————————————

You lazily sat on the couch, scrolling through your phone. Your roommate, who also happened to be your boyfriend, sat next to you, doing the same. If you were gonna be honest, you didn’t like him. He was rude, boring, and so terribly lazy. “Hey, I want to do something together. Let’s go get lunch or walk in the park. I know it’s a big ask, but TXT is coming to our city and I wanna see them. With you.” You stated, trying to get your boyfriend to except using your pleading eyes. “Fuck no. Are you for real? Babe, I just went grocery shopping, I’m comfy here on the couch, and I don’t know what you see in those guys!” He said, not even looking up from his screen. “Then I’ll go on my own.” You stood up, stretching out your legs. “You’re not going to have a good time without me. We can have a nice time being here, it’s your turn to do chores anyway.” He protested, finally looking at you. “It’s always my turn to do the fucking chores. I’m seriously going out.” You snapped, throwing a pillow in his face, then storming off to get ready. You quickly bought tickets online, not wanting them to sell out and somehow, some way, you managed stall seats! You loved TXT, they were your favorite idol group, and best in your opinion. Your bias was Huening Kai. One thing that was special about him, that no one would ever know, was that he was your secret high school boyfriend. The two of you grew apart once he got into the industry, but you still had strong feelings. Tonight, you were chasing those feelings.

———————————————————————

Your seats were amazing, right front and center. Sure, they were a lot of money, but you have been saving for a while and you deserved something special. You tried to snap a picture of the stage to send to your asshole boyfriend, but lights began to dim, immediately catching your attention. The music began, the group appeared on stage, the choreography was spot on, you were in bliss. The song ended, but the fan service started. You were ready to catch Huening’s attention. As soon as he passed, you two made eye contact, and sparks flew. You had your phone out and he quickly grabbed it and began talking into it. You had no clue what he was saying, but you were excited. Maybe he still loves you, maybe he can make time for you, maybe he can get you out of your shit relationship. He came back to the side of the stage and handed you back your phone, but not without his fingers lightly grazing against yours. And the show went on.

———————————————————————

You made your way to out of the stadium while checking the videos and pictures you took. You made it to the video of your ex boyfriend, and your stomach immediately began to burst with butterflies as you hit play on the recording. “You still a fan? I’m sorry for just up and leaving you, but I couldn’t have my phone on me a ton when I was a trainee. Wow. I can’t believe you’re a fan! Come to the dressing rooms after the show, I’ve still got feelings. M/n….your all I know.” Say no more. You were on your way.

———————————————————————

You made your way down dark, deep, winding halls, finally turning a corner to see a certain blonde haired someone. You ran at him, hugging him. “Woah! I’ve missed you too.” He said calmly. You quickly realized what you were doing and let go. “Sorry, too pushy? You’re an idol and all now.” Huening Kai laughed at your comment, confusing you. “It’s fine, we’re close. I may be an idol, but your moa.” The taller male reassured, patting your shoulder. “Come one back, I want you to meet everyone!” He said playfully, breaking his cool idol character.

———————————————————————

You sat in Huening Kai’s private dressing room, catching up with him, laughing together. It felt so right being with him. “Kai. I need advice. My roommate is a complete, and total asshole. I want him to move out, but I need him to pay rent. He doesn’t do his chores and he has friends over to party all the time.” You suddenly became serious, but this didn’t bother the other male. “I’ve never had a roommate like that before. I think the best thing you could do is be honest with him, confront him. Sorry I don’t know much about roommate stuff.” Huening Kai muttered, scratching the back of his neck. “Oh, and he happens to be my boyfriend. I’m in a little bit of a situationship.” You half joked. The taller male suddenly got up from his seat and crouched in front of you. “I don’t know much about roommates, but I do know a thing or two about boyfriends.” You blushed at the amount of space that was left between you and him. The space closed. Your lips molded perfectly with his. “M/n, let’s keep chasing this feeling.”

—————————NSFW———————————

Huening Kai was the innocent, sweet type, but damn did he have you undressed fast. He sat down on the couch, then put you on his lap and kissed up and down your neck. “I wish we did this more in high school. I wish we didn’t grow apart. You’re so perfect.” Huening persistently praised you. Just the words that spilled from his lips made you moan. “You’re an angel. Keep making those sounds, I like to know when I’m doing good.” Huening continued. “You don’t know how much I’ve missed you.” You shakily breathed. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders and pulled him back into a kiss. The kiss was hot and mouthy, but it felt so sweet. “M/n, will you trust me?” Huening didn’t even have to explain before you barked a quick “Yes” And at that, he got to work. He quickly flipped you onto your knees and elbows, ass up. “I’ll make you feel good, I promise.” He said gently rubbing hearts into your thighs. You suddenly felt a hot sensation by your lower half. Huening’s tongue was circling your rim, causing you to emit lewd noises that became louder as he began eating you out. Your length dripped with precum, as Huening Kai began to give it some much needed attention. “Please, please….Kai, I-I need you more than ever.” You begged. “How could I deny such a polite request” he hummed flipping you over onto your back. “I wanna see your face, I wanna hear you, ok?” He said spreading your legs apart and aligning his dick with your entrance. “Anything for you.” You gasped out as Huening Kai slowly entered into your welcoming walls. “You feel so good for me, M/n.” He loved saying your name, it felt good on his tongue. You could only hum as a thank you, your mind fuzzy. You couldn’t think straight while being praised, stuffed, and loved by your biggest idol. The taller only sped up, and each time he thrusted in, he hit that spot. Never missing. Before you knew it your thighs were shaking, palms were sweating, and your mind was going even more blank. “Huening! I’m cumming!” At this point, everyone heard you, you felt too good to be quiet, and neither of you cared. Huening came inside of you, riding out his high. “M/n, come back to the hotel with me. Travel with us, don’t go back to that so called boyfriend, just stay with me. I love you.” Huening pleaded, holding you to his chest. “Of course. I’ll go with you. I love you too.”

#hueningkai #txt #huening kai x male reader #smut

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mushies-stories · 4 months

Text

TV Yule log- drabble

Eddie X GN!Reader

Summary: it's your first Christmas in your own Trailor home. Eddie isn't sure if it's the best home, if you wished there was more to your new life with him and it sparks a conversation about the future.

Authors note: I wrote this real fast, but the idea came to me because google has a cute little Yule long and then I wanted to know when the first tv video was aired and here we are. my one and only holiday themed writing from this year... aha. I'll do better next year!

Warnings: none? Christmas? XD no use of Y/N.

“Did you know the first year they broadcasted the Yule log was in 1966?” you said. You sat in front of the big box TV while flipping through the channels.

Eddie chuckled and shook his head. “I didn't.”

Finally finding the station your face lit up as soon as you heard the crackling of the wood and the classical christmas tunes playing. “There we go!” you say with excitement and jump up, giddy and excited. You cross the room and flop down next to Eddie on the couch. “Now we can have the best first Christmas in our new home.” you proclaim with a wide smile.

“Yeah, well it is the closest thing this hunk of junk is ever going to get to a real fire.” He jokes, gesturing to the trailer home you two have recently moved into. It wasn't a bad home, a little small but for two it wasn't all that bad. And it was a first home, close to home and his uncle. It was a nice home to give you both time to figure the future out.

“Maybe, but this is still a wonderful home Eddie.” you knew how bad he was bullied in school for living in the trailer park. Even if he knew deep down there was nothing wrong with it, he still carried that weight of that dumb stereotype in the back of his head. “It's cozy and warm. It fits me and you perfectly and I like it here.” you tell him and hook your arm around his and rest your head on his shoulder. You want to reassure him that you truly love it there, with him, that it only matters that you have each other.

There's a moment of silence. It's not awkward or weird, just a pause as your words take up all the space in his head. You watch the fire dance and let the Yule log and soft music fill in the silence.

Then Eddie spoke. Voice quieter and a little unsure. “Really? This place is enough… you don't wish we could afford to leave hawkins?” he asked. Body testing a little as the words come out.

You peaked up at him through your lashes, he wasn't looking at you, but at the TV. he looked like he was contemplating something, thinking about how things could be, or how he wants them to be maybe.

“Yes.” you said simply.

His eyes slide down to your own. You looked at him with pure truth in your eyes. He didn’t know how to respond, you were so sure about everything, like nothing scared you. Nothing seemed bothered you but how could that be true, How were you so perfect?

You smile softly and nuzzle your cheek into him and laced your fingers in his. “I love you Eddie, we have a whole future ahead of us and if you want to stay here, then I am more than happy to be by your side.” you say and give his shoulder a quick kiss. “And, if you want to leave, travel and find a better home then I will still be by your side. Forever and always Eddie.” You say everything with such a sweet and caring voice Eddie can't help but believe every word you say the moment they reach his ears.

“I love you so much.” he says, a grin growing across his face. “As long as every Christmas and every other holiday is spent with you, I'll be the luckiest man in the world.” he kisses the top of your head and leans into your warmth. “We have time right? Time to grow and plan a good future, right?” he asks again, needing one last bit of reassurance from you.

You smile, so big and bright that his heart aches and melts all at the same time. “We have time Eddie.”

It was the first Christmas spent together in your new home. A night spent by the Yule log and long talks about what the future could hold for you both.

Followed by a morning of back and shoulder pain from falling asleep on the couch with tangled in each other's limbs.

Thank you for reading and happy holidays!

#Stranger things #stranger things x reader #stranger things imagine #eddie munson #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson imagine

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notafraidofredyellowandblue · 4 months

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Puts out a new nice poem and then releases music video with assault scene in it during thia not so good for him times... Till really is something else.

what follows is my personal opinion, so feel free to disagree entirely:

With regards to the video i'm withholding judgment until i've seen the entire thing in context. Ofcourse the one scene they put in the teaser is there to provoke, and i'd say he succeeded. But remember Rammstein's Deutschland video when the one bit that was used as teaser was of the WWII prisoners and loads of people were ready to critique them of being insensitive (at best) (and i'm sure some still do), but in the context of the complete video i would say it was actually a real honest depiction of German history and showed a vital part of that (and even more interesting, it showed that people were inprisoned or killed for various reasons, which is the raw truth, although a truth that Germany has had a difficult time to come to terms with, and Rammstein hit the sore spot).

We know the dreadlock hairdo from photos Till's friend accidently (?) leaked at the time, and that was before the allegations stuff, but in theory it is possible that a video was shot at the time, but that it was reshot more recently to change the narrative (maybe as a reaction to the allegations), and unless we see the whole thing, we don't know the message it wants to convey.

The poem is interesting to me, because, apart from art being open to interpretation, and we don't have (and probably won't get) Till's own comment on what he intended with it. But at some points during the last months i may have had the feeling that Till wasn't bothered or had a 'FU' attitude to what happened. At the very least during the few bits i had seen from his tour (but as you may know, Till's imagery in his solowork is not my thing) he seemed to continue in the same vein as before and possibly provocatively announcing holding after-parties etc; again, it could be interpreted as a FU...

Well the poem, to me, shows that it does bother him, and that it gets to him. Maybe the fact that people again painted slogans somewhere in his neighbourhood recently, still not letting go of the allegations and now he got back to Berlin after the tour and saw it with his own eyes, was the proverbial 'final straw' that prompted him to write the poem... maybe he already made the poem months ago...don't know.

What is interesting to me too, is that the allegations stuff is often attributed to politically speaking 'left-wing' inclined people; and slogans that are used are usually targetted at 'right-wing' others. But we know for a fact that Rammstein as a whole and Till too are, well, officially political, but if we would *have* to 'label' them, it would be decidedly 'left-wing'. I've felt more than once, that actually the phrases used and actions done by the accusers (and their hangers-on) are going to extremes that actually tend to loop back towards the other end of the political spectrum. The accusations without proof, the cancel culture...isn't it really the same as silencing people because of their beliefs or way of life that happens in Right-wing society? If everything in life is a circle, if you go to the extreme left, don't you run the risk of unintentionally becoming extreme right yourself?

The phrase in the poem"Rot wird braun" (Red becomes brown) reminds me a lot of Left-wing (often represented with color red) turning into Right-wing (especially in 1930/1940's Germany the color of Right wing politics)...and although it is just my interpretation, i wouldn't be surprised if Till made that connection too.

Of all of Till's solowork, i appreciate his poetry the most, and this is no exception.

And the poem sparked my interest in the video more than before i read it, so it will be interesting to see the whole 🌺

#till's poem #till's solo work #a long reply #till lindemann

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shuhwaa · 2 years

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Ryujin | Hard Work [M]

Itzy Ryujin x fem!reader words: ~1.9k genre: idol AU, smut (dom!Ryujin, oral (reader receiving), reader has a praise kink, Ryujin is a bit of a tease) warnings: none

Desc.: You’ve just finished your first recording while promoting your new album, and your girlfriend surprises you in the waiting room to give you flowers and a little present.

It’s officially the first day of promoting your new album and you just finished pre-recording your first music show stage. Ever since the music video dropped yesterday, you have received dozens of text messages from your friends and family, congratulating you on your new release, among them also a sweet voice message by your girlfriend Ryujin. You have listened to it right then and there, smiling as you could hear her congratulating you and telling you that she’s sure you will do just fine during the next few weeks to come, and then you listened to it again in the evening, when you were too excited to go to bed but knew that her soothing voice would put you to sleep so that you could at least rest for a few hours before you had to get up early in the morning.

Maybe it’s because she already congratulated you, or maybe because your head is full of other things and schedules that you’re so taken aback when you find her leaning against a wall in your waiting room. It’s the first time that you get to use a room by yourself and don’t have to share it with other artists, but you would’ve at least expected your stylists and manager to be there as well. But nothing - it’s only you, Ryujin, and the bouquet of flowers she’s holding out to you with that sweet smile only you get to see.

“Congratulations again,” she says, and when you’re still frozen up and unable to respond, she chuckles. “What’s with that face? Are you that shocked to see me?”

“Shocked? I mean… I didn’t expect you here,” you stutter, and then you finally receive the flowers from her and add, “Thank you. You didn’t have to.” She wraps her arms around you in a congratulatory hug that only lasts a few seconds, and when she steps back to get a proper look at your face, her hands remain resting on your waist.

“You really worked hard on everything,” she praises you, and you can feel happiness spark in your chest. “Your efforts really show.”

“You think so?” you ask shyly, blushing a little but you don’t turn your face away. Instead, you allow her to take in your flushed expression, and she gives you an adoring smile.

“Yes. Your dancing especially. You improved a lot since last time,” Ryujin states. “I’m very proud of you.” Then, she draws closer, but you dodge her advances.

“What if someone sees us?” you whisper anxiously and your girlfriend shoots you a reassuring smile.

“Don’t worry. I made sure that we’ll have some time alone,” she explains, and you wonder how she pulled that off but you decide to trust her. You always trust in everything she says, because you know she would never let you down - especially when it’s about something that could risk both of your careers. “So relax, baby,” she continues. “I want to give you a little present.” She leans in again, and this time you let her. You feel yourself melting under her touch the second she kisses you, and she only parts from you to take the flowers and place them on the table in the middle of the room where some of the staff had previously put their bags. Then, she spins you in her arms so that she can back you up against the table while still kissing you. You gasp when the back of your thighs hit the edge, but she’s quick to connect her lips to yours again.

“You’re really doing so well,” she mumbles against your skin as she kisses her way from the corner of your mouth to your jaw, and she continues to whisper praises when her lips wander to your throat.

“Thank you,” you sigh and your hand finds the back of her head to hold her close. You’re still a bit worried that you might get caught after all, but the desire to feel her lips on your skin is quickly growing, overshadowing any anxiety you might feel.

“I’m so proud to get to see my baby standing on stage all by herself, doing so well.” You take in her words like honey, sweet and sticky as you keep repeating them in your head while she quickly gets on her knees in front of you. “Sit on the table for me, baby?” she asks, and you do as told without thinking. She pulls up your dress a bit and tugs at the protective pants all female idols tend to wear under short skirts. And no matter how useful they are on stage, right now they’re nothing but in the way. Ryujin sends you a demanding gaze, and without having to use words, you understand. You slip out of them, and when she isn’t satisfied you pull off your panties as well, spreading your legs so she can settle comfortably between them. Now she smiles at you, it’s a sugary sweet smile, and with a hum of appreciation, she kisses her way up your inner thigh.

“I really wish I could take my time with you right now,” she mumbles, and you flinch from the ticklish sensation of her soft lips lightly grazing your skin as she talks. “I want to praise you properly for how pretty you looked out there. And how sexy.” She leaves a tiny bite on your skin, then she continues her journey to where you anticipate her to touch you most. You almost startle again from the way she suddenly bats her eyelashes at you when she gives you a piercing gaze, seeing right through you. “You need me, don’t you?” You can’t do anything but nod.

“Yes… please,” you whine, and Ryujin quickly shushes you.

“Then try to be good for me and stay silent, okay? Or else someone might hear us.” You nod again, and once you feel her warm tongue pressed against your pussy, you have to bite down on your lip in order not to immediately make a noise.

“We haven’t done this in too long, baby,” you hear your girlfriend mumble, and the way her lips move lightly against your folds as she speaks almost makes you explode in anticipation. You haven’t had much time to spend together during your comeback preparations, and right in this moment you can undoubtedly feel the effects of being deprived of her touch for so long.

“Please,” you breathe, staying as quiet as possible, but another glance of hers shuts you up completely.

“Don’t even whisper,” she mutters. “Or you might get too loud later on.” So you go back to biting your bottom lip and nodding, giving her a wordless promise to be good. You let out a deep breath through only your nose when you finally feel her tongue on you again. Meanwhile your fingers are clenching around the edge of the table, and for a moment you have to think about how dirty it is to be eaten out at the exact spot where one of you stylists had her breakfast a few hours prior.

“You taste so good, baby,” Ryujin whispers in between drawing circles around your clit with the tip of her tongue, and the longer she makes you wait, the more desperate you get to just open your mouth and beg. But you remain silent. You want her to praise you more.

She too seems to notice your struggle, and you find a wicked grin on her lips one second, that turns into an adoring smile the next.

“You want my fingers too, baby?” she asks, voice silent. You nod, eyebrows furrowed and knuckles white from holding onto the table so hard. Lust reflects in her eyes, and you wonder if she’s already imagining the way you will squirm under her touch as you desperately try to stay silent while she fucks you. “But can you take it?” she follows up. “Without making a sound?” You nod again as you relish her teasing, feeling your core heating up more with every word of hers. “Then be a good girl for me.” With those words, she slowly pushes in not one, but two fingers at once, and you throw your head back, squeezing your eyes tightly shut, and pressing your lips together even tighter. She lazily starts pumping her fingers in and out of you while taking care of your clit with her mouth, licking and sucking on it in a way that always drives you crazy the fastest.

“So wet for me…” she hums in between, looking up at you as you look down, eyes already drunk on your strained expressions. You eventually bring a hand up to your mouth, deciding it would be safer to attach your teeth to the back of it, so you could bite down instead of moan at any time you needed it. And that time comes fast, as she reaches deeper inside you and starts curling her fingers up against that sweet spot. You arch your back and buck your hips a little to fuck yourself on her fingers, while pain courses through your body everytime you sink your teeth into your skin. Very small muffled moans eventually escape you as she works her fingers and tongue on you like only she knows how to. But she doesn’t stop, and this time she doesn’t shush you either.

“Baby can’t keep quiet even when I tell her to… is that how good I make you feel?” Again, you nod strongly, tears welling up in your eyes from biting down on your hand hard. Ryujin hums in appreciation again, and you almost cry out when you feel the vibrations of her voice against your dripping pussy. “Cum in my face baby,” she mumbles, and you buck your hips into her hand and tongue faster, letting her watch you as you eventually come undone, managing not to make a single noise as you hold your breath and bite the back of your hand through your whole orgasm. She helps you ride out your high, and when she removes her fingers she licks you clean, making you flinch with every touching of your now overly sensitive core.

“You did so well, baby,” she praises you as she comes back and presses another kiss against your lips. “Keeping quiet even when I made you cum. Makes me want to reward you by doing it all over again.”

“Yeah…” you simply say, your brain not yet functioning enough to come up with anything more eloquent. She chuckles at that, and gives your lips another peck.

“But I have to go now, or someone will suspect something,” she reasons, and unfortunately you know that she’s right. “Round two when you’re home?” she suggests, raising an eyebrow at you while helping you put your pants back on, and you nod eagerly. Ryujin takes your hands in hers and gives them a gentle squeeze, before making her way towards the door. “Then I’ll be waiting,” she promises you, throwing you another loving look over her shoulder, before you hop off the table. You put on your best poker face, and you’re already starting to think about what to tell your staff if any of them would ask what you’ve been doing in here for so long.

#itzy smut #ryujin smut #ryujin x reader #itzy scenarios #itzy imagines #itzy drabbles #itzy x reader #itzy x female reader #female reader #itzy drabble #itzy scenario #shin ryujin smut #itzy ryujin #itzy ryujin scenarios #smut

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jayshawnsjawline · 11 months

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Homie Hopper!

reader x LH x SJ

WARNING ⚠️ smut, 18+, swear words, cheating, consent, pet names, anal, orgasms, grinding, degradation, and praising

Word count : 1926

You and your loving boyfriend Jay have been dating for three years. Over time you feel the spark in the bedroom has started to die. While Jay is out on a family business trip you take the time to experiment.

As the sunlight peeks into my eyes through my curtains I’m greeted by my boyfriend getting ready for his trip.

He looks over at me with a smile “Morning sleeping beauty, did I wake you?” he says teasingly.

“No not at all hun, you're leaving already?” you say rubbing the sleep from your eyes.

“Awe you miss me already I haven't even left yet.” he pats your head smiling. “You know I wouldn't leave without a kiss,” he says before leaving a small peck on your lips.

You kiss back and he smiles into the kiss. You love him you couldn't dare think of a world without him. After breakfast, Jay packs his car soon after he heads off to meet his parents at the airport. Finally, some time to yourself to go out for some errands. You take a small trip to Victoria's Secret to buy something that'll hopefully spice things up when jay gets back. You do a bit of self-spoiling with Jay's card that he left with you.

*text from “my superstar 💫”*

Jay: doing a little bit of spoiling huh? Without me 😔?

Y/n: mmm maybe 😉.

Y/n: how's the trip?

Jay: meh? mainly just business talk I haven't gotten to explore yet.

Jay: Just a heads up Hee’s coming to get the video games he let me borrow. Hee and Jake are having some game night or something.

Y/n: okay! Well, I hope you get to enjoy your travels! 💕

After being out all day you head back to your apartment. You tidy up a bit then cook yourself some dinner well you're eating you check your phone.

“It's 8:45 I wonder if the boys came already it's getting kinda late,” you say to yourself concerned. “Mmm I'm not tired yet maybe a nice bath will relax me.” you head to your shared bedroom

You made the most self-care bubble bath you've had in a while with candles, roses, and a bit of wine. Some time passed while you were in the tub once your fingers started to prune you got out. You took your time drying off and lathered your skin with all kinds of shae butter and coconut oils. Then once you've finished your skincare and hair care you turn on some music and try on the lingerie you bought.

First was a white bralette with matching panties. It was cute and innocent not really giving the super sexy goddess you were looking for. Moving on to the next set, a lovely deep red that made you look almost devilish.

“It was a bit much I need something more me.” You say to the mirror a little disappointed

Lastly, a wine purple set that complimented your skin tone and hugged your curves in all the right places.

“Now this is giving everything and more,” you say to yourself while lip-syncing to the music playing.

You start to pose and take pictures to send to Jay as you are interrupted by the sudden noise of a whistle coming from the direction of the door.

“Woow all this hotness just for me,” he says with a smirk and another whistle. You turn to greet Jay.

“Heesung!” Your jaw dropped surprised. In shock scurry around to find something to cover yourself.

“Aaanndd Jake.” as a second tall figures stands in your doorway. Their gaze not missing movement from your figure.

It's Jay's best friend yes your boyfriend was handsome but his friends were just as fine. THE DUO Lee Heeseung and Jake Sim any girl would jump to have a chance with.

“Jay’s not here so you can just take your things it should be in the office room,” you say flushed with embarrassment from their gaze

“Awe you don't wanna hang out with us ma?” Jake says after biting his lips.

“Yeah, wouldn't wanna waste this scenery you got going on” Heesung smirks tilting his head at you and both of them stepping into the room.

Before you could say anything you were backed into a corner. It's too hard to speak with this rising tension you never felt like this before. Overcome with lustful thoughts of the two you give in. Heeseung looks over at Jake and they smile at the same time.

“So what do you say, spend the night alone or have a little fun?” Jake taunts me by running his through my hair.

As much as you didn't want to betray Jay you were getting bored with him in bed maybe after this you'll realize how much you miss his touch.

“Fine but Jay can never hear about this,” giving into your weakness against their lust.

Heesung makes his way to your bed and signals Jake to follow. Once seated Hee grabs the remote to turn up the value of the music.

“Make use of that gorgeous body and strip for us princess” Clam yet so demanding Hee says not moving his eyes from your curves

“The better the show the better the punishment,” Jake implies for what's yet to come tonight.

At first, you were a bit nervous Jay never asked you to do something like this. So very unsure of what would please them you did what you’re body left was right.

The boys and their members eagerly watched as you swayed every curve. With the intent of pure subduction. You teased them a bit by getting closer. Then you got up on the bed and straddled Jake grinding against him to the beat of the music. You could feel him getting harder and harder under you. Jake groaned in distress not knowing how much he could take of your teasing. You tried to keep your attention on Jake but you got distracted.

The hungry gaze Heeseung was giving you was because he wasn’t getting any attention. To frustrate him more you gave Jake extra attention kissing his neck and meeting Heeseung’s gaze. Jake gripped tightly onto your clothes nearly ripping them off. Before he nearly died of jealousy Heeseung grabbed you from Jake and put you on top of himself.

Watching you grind against his body Heeseung nearly drooled at the heavenly view of you taking your top off in front of him. Jake couldn’t stand watching him have all the fun but he needed to relieve himself a bit. While you were busy tending to Heeseung’s needs Jake took it upon himself to relive his member. Not wanting to lose your attention Heeseung pulled you closer. Making you lean forward almost arching.

Not missing a beat the two decided they had enough of your teasing. Jake behind you with his dick slapping against your almost bare ass circling your hole with his thumb. Heeseung under you with one tit in his hand and the other in his mouth. They both began to overwhelm you with an aments amount of pleasure.

You cry out in pleasure letting out such whiny moans begging for more. Jake fingers your ass making you arch against Heeseung while he's trying to undress. Never feeling like this your cry out again

“P..please be gentle Jake” stammering over your words.

Surprised by your request he slowly takes his fingers out. Not caring as much Heeseung starts to finger you while gently rubbing your clit. Growing impatient Jake slowly starts to enter himself inside of your ass. Again you start to moan and cry out. Before you could get loud Heeseung shushed you by putting his thumb covered in your juices into your mouth.

“You can take it, princess just for a little while longer” Jake growled tugging on your hair a bit.

Jake creates a rhythm going in and out of you, it took a bit for you to get used to his length. But Heeseung talking you trough it helped.

“Shh it's okay princess it'll soon only be a pleasure you'll feel,” he says while funding your tiddies with one hand.

Once you claimed down a bit, Heeseung took his hand from your mouth and stroked himself against your clit. He also couldn't stand not being inside of you. After he felt you relax he entered your warmth. Heeseung and Jake both entering your holes at the same time. Both guys let out breathless groans. Heeseung grabbing on your neck and Jake pulling on your. You became a moaning mess under them.

“Keep moaning for me princess let Heeseung know how good I fuck you” make demands slamming into you

Heeseung started losing himself and so did Jake. Overcome with lust Jake slaps your ass leaving a giant mark. You can take it anymore you need something to distract you. Out of bliss, you bite heeseungs neck leaving marks on him. Marking it hard from him to not lose himself completely he slams into your hole making you bite harder.

“Listen slut keep it down if you don't want me to stop slutting your little hole out” Heeseung growls into my ear holding onto your neck

Almost falling into complete bliss you were brought back by the vibrations of your phone. For a moment you all pause.

*Incoming call from “my superstar 💫”*

“Fuck it's Jay!” Jake grunts not wanting to stop

“Y/n I need you to slow your breath and try your hardest to answer this call” Heeseung begs not wanting to stop either

You nod grabbing your phone to answer.

Jay: y/n! Were you sleeping? Sorry if I woke you I just missed you.

Trying to hold yourself together you respond

Y/n: no..I wasn't sleeping j..just watching a movie.

Jay: are you okay you sound shaken up and out of breath.

Y/n: I..im fine it was a scary movie so in a bit shaken up..

He's starting laughing releaved of his worry

Jay: well as long as your okay. I'll call you in the morning on my way back. I love you good night!

Y/n: I..i love you too sleep well.

*call ends*

“Good girl,” Jake says starting to pick up his paste again.

“That's my girl you did so good” Heeseung praises Y/n kissing her on her chest.

They continue to plow into your holes filling them over and over again. You were sent overboard and already climaxed without realizing it.

“Fuck y/n in gonna cum” Jake grunts slowing down but still ramming into her until he climaxes on her lower back.

“Yeah I'm ‘bout tapped out too” Heeseung groans keeping his paste until right before he finishes he pulls out of y/n.

The boys gets up and clean themselves of and bring y/n her towel from earlier. Once they got dressed she tired to stand to walk them out but her legs were in so weak she couldn't walk.

“She got sea legs,” Jake whispers to Hee trying not to laugh.

“Shut up fool” Heeseung pushes him before he embarrasses her.

“Aye but if you ever want some more you know who to call” Jake bit his lip again before leaving the room and Heeseung follow behind him with a wink.

“Later y/n” Heeseung calls out before locking and shutting the front door.

After hearing them pull off you are too tired to even care about the mess you just fall asleep. It's not until the next morning do you realize the mess you've made. It's too late Jay is already home you can hear him downstairs. You stumble out of bed just to see the mess had already been cleaned up.

#enha headcanons #enha heeseung #enha jake #enha jay #enha smut #enha fanfic #enhypen #enha imagines #enha x reader #enha #enha fluff #SoundCloud

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schismusic · 16 days

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Joy Division, or: how I learned to stop worrying and love New Order, too

Spring is weird as hell because one time you have this glaring sun that powers you up like being plugged into a wall outlet, then not five minutes later clouds begin to gather and you feel like you're going to die if anything goes south. So the most obvious combination to represent two sides of this same coin, emotional and meteorological, is Joy Division and New Order.

Sometimes you need Transmission or Shadowplay for the sunny days — impassioned jolts, sparks flying everywhere. Sometimes The Perfect Kiss hits harder on a cloudy afternoon, coming back home and in need of that extra push to not fall asleep in the train. It's surprising to realize the versatility displayed by both bands, or the same band in two different iterations according to whomever you ask. Peter Hook says, as late as 1993, that the laziest member of New Order is Ian Curtis. Or again this other person, in the comments under the Atmosphere official video on YouTube, who went to see New Order (Hooky-less New Order, which might be a relevant distinction) at the O2 Arena a couple of years ago and they gave an encore, says "Those of us who stayed got the privilege of watching Joy Division perform three of their songs". Interesting outlook on the matter. I personally saw Peter Hook and the Light play both Joy Division records and, I'm pretty sure, an encore comprised of just Love Will Tear Us Apart at the Arti Vive Festival in Soliera, back when it was still free to attend some of the events. I remember being pretty mad that Hooky had stopped to take pics with basically everyone and then left exactly as I was approaching. In retrospect I don't exactly blame the man, it was like midnight anyway. I remember nothing of the back trip home.

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My first contact with Joy Division happened when I was thirteen and very much in my prog era. I was in Rome staying at an aunt of mine's place for my fourteenth birthday and she told me I could get a CD, since I had gotten some money saved up over time. Some Facebook page dedicated to Pink Floyd I'd liked (yeah, Facebook at age thirteen — I literally just wanted to play a fucking Flash game, back when Facebook allowed them, and I ended up getting to be terminally online. Crazy how things turn out) used to share a lot of memes and fanart relating to the Unknown Pleasures album cover, and me being a massive Pink Floyd head at the time I thought "I mean, if these guys are pushing this band so hard, that's gotta mean something". The album cover was pretty striking, admittedly: a far cry from the paisley ass paintings that I had grown to accept as the gold standard for the music I liked, but its simplicity struck a chord closer to The Dark Side of the Moon, or perhaps The Wall. Those were records I liked a lot, probably called them "the best records ever made" to more than one person, not like they aren't but that's a very bold statement to make when your listening experience consists exactly of

Madonna's Confessions on a Dance Floor when I was six;

Daft Punk's complete discography (minus Random Access Memories, which wasn't out yet) when I was twelve;

Pink Floyd's complete discography, courtesy of a CD collection coming out with some Italian newspaper, that same year;

a couple random classic rock records recommended to me by older friends and relatives usually well into their fifties or sixties at the time, random people on Internet forums — which, for clarification, I did not actively attend, preferring to just lurk from time to time — and the OndaRock "milestones" page.

So browsing through the surprisingly expansive CDs section of this electronics shop in Rome, and being mesmerized by a vinyl rack in the days when Music on Vinyl was the final frontier of pretending you could re-analogue the digital ("you mean to tell me these are like CDs, but bigger? Whoever designed these truly lived in the future"), I came across that very same album art that had stricken me so hard. I had listened to the first seconds of the album on YouTube, but that weird drum sound — so echoey, so distant, ultimately not particularly powerful, meaning it didn't really sound like Bonzo: it sounded more like my own band, which at the time didn't even exist yet — I didn't really know what to make of. This store I was in had one of those preview listening machines that would scan the barcode on the CDs and give you a small snippet of the song. I pull the CD up to the scanner, the scanner lights up green, I put on the headphones and the solo from this comes up:

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Clearly they had to be kidding me. I had come to know, sneaking into infinitely many rehearsals with the band from my mother's town, what it sounded like when someone tried to play lead without something else filling up the arrangement (even though I didn't really know all that, or at least lacked the vocabulary to properly express it) and, for Christ's sake, didn't these guys notice rehearsing? It sounded empty, weirdly so, and it wasn't my thing, I thought. I put that CD away and picked up a band I knew I'd like — Genesis, specifically. So Nursery Cryme became the first CD I've ever paid with my own money, the very day I turned fourteen. Not a bad pickup. I remember being very impressed with the fast blurring lead guitar on The Musical Box and digging the sweet pastoral atmospheres of For Absent Friends and Harlequin. I still think of that record more often than one would probably assume looking at this blog, or my most played on Spotify. At the time, that was the best move I could take, really: why beat my head against a record that, as your average prog nerd ballbreaker, simply wasn't speaking to me?

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Then all of a sudden in August of the same year my friend's dad hands me a 16 gigabyte USB drive, full of random music from all eras of rock. A lot of it remains inscrutable to me for a really long time, most notably Tom Waits (see related post), but I spent the whole month reading random folder names, seeing if something catches my eyes, and at one point I come across the Mars Volta. Open the folder up, read the names of their first three records, and my first thought is "Christ, these guys look incomprehensible. I'm about to have some fun". Long story short: I end up having a lot of fun, the Mars Volta turns into my favourite band at the time and finding out that they had previously been called At the Drive-In makes me gain some measure of respect for punk rockers: if they tried hard enough, I must've thought, they could prog as hard as anyone. In the meantime the ghost of Joy Division remains at the back of my head. I feel like I'm missing something, for the first time in my life: it's not them, it's me. Too bad that same realization didn't occur to me when it came to the people in my life until much, much later, but that's being fourteen for you I suppose. Early King Crimson and the Mars Volta were the pinnacle of violence to me, and not even the very few Metallica songs I'd downloaded just to see what would happen scratched that itch. It felt a bit too cauterized for some reason (I would later find out I had been looking in the wrong direction the whole time: the Black Album "sucked", according to my favourite metalhead of the time, who somehow catalyzed my interest from the very second I saw him in the school's courtyard. Hard to imagine why I would imprint on people like puppies do, but what the fuck, not like I've ever outgrown that anyway, I've just gotten better at managing it). But I felt there was more than violence to this, or different forms of violence. When Christmas came around and my relatives tried to get me presents, my mother asked if there was anything specific I was interested in, and I basically told her "look, if they can get me some CDs off of this list, I'm golden". It had some bangers on it, namely Noctourniquet by the Mars Volta — it's one of their best and I will die on this hill, be warned — and The Downward Spiral, which might as well warrant its own post in an ideal world. But the best of them all I think came from a random purchase, once again with the little money I had lying around at the time.

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Closer appears to be, right away, a bit more concrete, and if there's something inexperienced music fans like is a pretty packaging that conjures a strong emotional response before they've even played the record. Compare a color-inverted graph of pulsar emissions to a literal funerary monument. Opening up the booklet I was shocked to see that Genesis was used as a negative point of comparison (bad omen, I thought) by people close to the band, and I came across much more detailed information about Ian Curtis's untimely demise — at that time, something far too removed from my experience to be faced with the delicacy and attention it deserves. Atrocity Exhibition hits like a ten-ton truck, a reference which at the time I wouldn't have been able to make for obvious reasons, and Isolation exposes all the nerve tissue under the skin. Passover comes in and strips everything even barer, and then A Means to an End turns… danceable, for some reason? Big emotional moment with The Eternal and Decades, which I thought actually took them closer to my usual tastes. And yet at the same time I kept looking at Colony, Heart and Soul and Twenty Four Hours as the most compelling cuts. Geometric assault sounding like sheet metal if it were music; rhythmically driven emptiness that serves as a minimal backdrop for depressed poetry, and finally a rocking ebb-and-flow that would probably inform a lot of my interest in GY!BE-like post-rock in the coming years. Very interesting to think that the same guys who'd done Unknown Pleasures could think of this. To this day, when asked, I still do think that Closer is the best Joy Division record, but what does it even mean when the records are exactly two, compilations notwithstanding?

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It was around this time that it came to my attention that both Joy Division and another band called New Order had a record called Substance out, both published by the same recording company, both coming out within a year of each other. Looking it up, it turns out it's fully intentional, because New Order is simply Joy Division minus Ian Curtis. It would turn out to be a tad bit more complex than that. Anyway, I look New Order up and kind of have to do a double-take. Synthpop? In my Joy Division? More likely than you'd think, considering Isolation exists. But yeah, that sort of seals it — I wouldn't care about this New Order for a million years. Until all of a sudden a couple of years later David Sylvian bursts like a comet in my face, which of course leads me straight to Japan, the same year as I'd come across Berlin-era Bowie, and you can probably guess where this is going, right?

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Well, you'd be wrong. I still don't check out New Order. There's a whole new world open to me — vaporwave and therefore R Plus Seven come to my attention, which leads me to dissect that record like an alien tool of unclear purposes. This of course leads me onto an ambient tangent, taking me back to my Tim Hecker listens of that same year, which has the effect of renewing my interest in "pure" electronic music and the then-rising post-dubstep movement. The sheer experience of sound, the dazzling modernity and innovation, is what's in at the time. I have no time for nostalgia-pandering dimwits: the future awaits. Then all that jazz from the first Godflesh post hits, then God pulls the funniest gag in the history of viral infections to my memory, and I have some time to actually look back, a bit less prejudiced. As it turns out, synthpop is not the devil, as some of you might have surmised by now, and as I relisten to Blue Monday I realized I have never listened to either of the Substance record. I do know some, most perhaps?, of the tracks on the Joy Division one, and I do think the New Order one has the more striking cover art — not to mention I knew, by this time, that this was the one to give Metal Gear Solid 2: Substance its name, and that Your Silent Face soundtracked one of the most memorable moments in Nicolas Winding Refn's Bronson. As the ultimate Hideo Kojima stan, I couldn't let this slide, so I pop the record on and get hit with this:

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Way to go, guys. Holy shit. I knew that Ceremony was a Joy Division cut before they could record it, but what the hell — Bernard got it, too. It wasn't a matter of singing ability with songs like these, it's just getting it, finding the right energy. They had that right energy. And then it hit me just as many times these dudes have made Blue Monday over and over again before actually getting it right, and everytime I look into it it's funnier and funnier to realize just how many different attempts it took them to finally be Kraftwerk, but augmented — with the stellar results we all know. Everything's Gone Green, 5 8 6, Temptation potentially, all lead up to this one moment in the history of dance music where somehow three dudes and a girl hailing from Manchester managed to out-gay the Pet Shop Boys (by their own admission, apparently), to shake the whole world's collective booty, to do whatever it is they were supposed to do in this last comparison that would ideally make the previous one a bit less obnoxious but whatever, it's 3am as usual, you know how it goes by now don't you? But then after Blue Monday the record keeps going, and thank god it does, because it's banger after banger. How do these guys keep doing it?

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So I spend some time with that record, then it fades down, then it comes back up last month, when the weather calls for it and its parent company. Which is when I find myself watching the Control movie for the first time, surprisingly enough seeing as I already enjoyed the work of Anton Corbijn as a photographer. Looking at all that, it is revealed to me that Joy Division never really having died is not a bug, it's a feature. Everyone is gasping, I get it, but please pick your jaws up and check this out: the band has never learned how to play their respective instruments. One might go so far as to argue they play their own stuff their own way, and that's basically it. Nothing could be further from the truth. These guys jammed, a lot; that's how Joy Division wrote songs, that's how New Order wrote songs, even going as far as having Bernard Sumner fucked up on acid so he could find the chorus to Temptation or the whole band bombed out of their minds on X in Ibiza clubs to write, basically, the entirety of Technique — and even then, not really, there's a couple jangly tracks that the X would most likely render unlistenable but what do I really know? Point being: it might now have been sparked by a music teacher or instructor, it might not have been the product of a process comparable to that within Television, which led them to organically seek out better, more "by the book" musicianship, but New Order were incredibly familiar with their instruments, had formed an element of comfort and understanding that counterbalanced the alien-ness to music terminology.

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Peter Hook recently uploaded a Yamaha-sponsored video to his Instagram, which I am pretty sure has a say in running, where he jams on a Yamaha bass and, you know, it sounds like Hooky alright, but it's never a discernible bassline until he kicks into the A major strumming that opens Love Will Tear Us Apart. Before that, he just strolls around the neck, leisurely strumming away at power chords imbued with that thick chorus and reverb combo he became renowned for. I would never, in my wildest dreams, have imagined I'd find myself thinking "okay, awesome, stop talking — I want to hear you jam a bit more" referring to one of the musicians who were part of possibly two of the craziest storiest in the history of contemporary rock'n'roll, also notorious for playing the rockstar whilst carrying the minimum possible baggage of technical knowledge he could. Once again, this is nowhere near a knock to the man — quite the opposite. Ian Curtis asked "persistence, well, what does it matter?", and Hooky (and, of course, the other members of New Order) found a way to constructively answer that question. Moments before Coil, but a bit later than Israel Regardie, they said "persistence is all" and built a brand on finding a way to consistently sound like splendid, eternal, golden children: "like crystal", impassionate, tightly-knit performers with the purity of a child's heart. Ian Curtis had, in certain ways (at least artistically), the purity of a child in his heart, which some might even argue was a distinguishing feature of most of his literary idols — if you think about it, William Burroughs could be your dirty-minded classmate who walked in on his parents sharing an intimate moment in the bedroom (had his parents been gay men, the metaphor would probably fly better, but that most definitely wasn't the case). So the heart of Joy Division remains untouched, if a bit more naked. Heroes of post-punk, sons of the silent age, you can sleep soundly tonight.

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#schismusic #music #musica #long form content #schism writing #joy division #new order #post punk #new wave #Youtube

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yeeehwa · 1 year

Text

Turbulence (Part Two)

pairing: ot8 ateez x fem reader

genre: smut. fluff. angst.

warnings: n/a

word count: 1,586

summary: finally some information

a/n: sorry this chapter is so short. next one will be extra long and the plot will start coming into play more then! Please enjoy! also it wouldn't let me tag some people. not sure why, but i'll try to have it figured out by next update.

Turbulence has been put on permanent hiatus

tag list: @layzfeelit @marsattacks @dream-in-progress @mingkilovur @jenseok17 @camzpetite

previous | next

⋅•⋅⊰∙∘☽༓☾∘∙⊱⋅•⋅

It’s been a week and you haven’t heard anything back from Mina, or KQ. You sighed and slammed your laptop shut, the constant refreshing of your emails just making your headache worse. You had expected to hear from someone by now. The only light came from the small desk lamp that sat in the corner of your desk, illuminating the disappointment on your face.

You ran your hand through your hair and pushed your laptop to the side. You picked your phone up and reread the last text that Mina had sent you. Not that you need to. You’ve basically memorized it by this point.

Leaving for Korea. Will get you more information soon ❤️

Your response was left unopened, and a frustrated groan left you. You can’t believe you were more anxious for this than you were just waiting for an answer about the job.

You laid your head in your crossed your arms and closed your eyes. 1…2…3… you counted as you utilized your breathing exercise.

A ding rung through the silence of your apartment and your head snapped up. You quickly reached for your phone, only to sigh again in disappointment. You had hoped it was more information about your travels and stuff, but it was just a notification from YouTube. You had followed KQ Entertainment on all social media platforms. Just so you could watch the content and start learning more about the people you’ll be working for and with.

KQ Fellaz 2 had posted another video. You blinked, not realizing it was already 3am, but your infamous insomnia kept you up. You needed a distraction anyway, and opened the newest KQ Fellaz 2 video.

You smiled at the antics of the group of boys, and some creative spark came to you. You smiled, loving when you’re hit with inspiration. Nighttime was where your creativity flowed best anyway.

You reached down beside you and grabbed your sketchbook out of your bag, and paused on one of the members on screen. A huge smile spread across his face and eyes shining in laughter. You didn’t know his name yet, but you were almost positive it was Hunter.

Pulling the pencil out of the spiral that held your book together, you flipped to a blank page and got to work.

You started with a close up of his face, deciding to do the exact expression that was on your screen. A wide smile, eyes scrunched, you were able to almost match him and you were proud of yourself. Faces and expressions were never your strong suit. You added a small gold chain that ran across his face, over the bridge of his nose, with golden yellow sapphires hanging down.

Next to it, on the empty side of the page, you wrote detailed descriptions about each individual item. The chain links, the jewels, and why you chose the particular colors.

The gold on Hunter's naturally tan skin matched beautifully. The golden yellow sapphire is the national gem of Thailand, where Hunter is from, displaying his roots. The yellow sapphire represents divine grace, something that is required when dancing and portraying emotion through dance.

You sighed, resting your head on your arm as you wrote. Each piece to you has to have some sort of meaning or way of complimenting each other. It’s why you believe you’re so good with styling, and how you’ve gotten a few jobs on music video sets when artists were in New York for filming.

Gold compliments the yellow sapphire-

You yawned, your eyes slowly drifting shut as you finally let sleep take you.

***

Your phone started ringing, jerking you out of your slumber. You yawned, before fully processing that it was your phone that was ringing. Majors grumpy whines finally made you sigh and look for your phone.

You slowly grabbed at your phone, eyes still half closed, and saw that you were getting a video call from Mina.

“What?” You grumbled to her as you answered her call. The brightness of your phone hurt your eyes and you hissed, burrowing back into your arm.

“Well, that’s a nice greeting.” She sasses to you. She stared at your dark screen. “What time is it?”

You groaned out at her in response. Slowly lifting your head to peek at the brightness. “5:47 in the morning. Go to bed.” Your head fell back into your arm.

“I thought you’d be happy to hear from me. Considering I have info about when you start.” Mina set her phone down on her desk while unbuttoning her suit jacket and ungracefully plopped herself into her chair.

You heard her huff out and paper shuffling and your head perked up a bit at the thought of finally getting some information. “Oh yeah?”

Mina smirked, not looking at the phone. “There she is.” She organized a few of her papers, picked them up and straightened them by tapping the edges on the desk. “They want you here next week. So the sooner we can get you over here and acclimated to the time change, the better.”

You groaned and fully sat up now, trying your best to stretch out your stiff back and neck, with no luck. You quickly jerked your neck to the left, then right, cracking it and releasing some tension.

“Okay ew. Stop.” Mina cringed at the cracking of your neck. “You know I hate that.”

You sleepily blinked at her. “And you know that I hate having the little sleep I get interrupted, yet here we are.” You rolled your eyes at her. “I need coffee before anything else.”

Mina huffed in response and you laughed at her. “Don’t blame me. I’d still be happily asleep if you didn’t call me.”

“Girl. I-“

“Nu-uh.” You interrupted her. “Coffee first.” She crossed her arms and sat back in her chair, but let you go.

After trudging into your little kitchenette and making a decent cup of coffee, you sat back down in your desk chair and looked expectantly at Mina, more awake and able to focus.

She sat up in her chair and pushed some of her long hair into ut of her face. “As I was saying,” she started figiting with the papers again. “They want you here and starting next week. I’ll look into flights for you and Major. I can probably get you guys on a plane in 2 days. Is that enough time for you to pack? I’ll have Mark-“ she stopped at the look you gave her. “No not that Mark. I’m not an idiot. My brother Mark.” She rolled her eyes and made a sound of disgust. “I’ll have Mark and some of his friends come by and move your furniture to a storage unit. You can ship stuff that you’ll need as well.”

“I’m assuming we’re going back to our college days and we’ll be living together?”

“Yep!” She chirped. “I have an extra room I can clean out and more than enough space for Major in my apartment.”

“Is there room for my-“

Mina waved her hand at you, looking tired. “Yes Yee. There’s room for your sewing machine. And a little area where you can put your crafty stuff. Look. The main thing I need to tell you is that they want you here next week. You’ll be on a plane in two days, and when you get here, you’ll meet KQ Fellaz 2. They’re who you’re going to be starting with.” A voice off screen took her attention for a moment, before she looked back at you, then back at the voice.

“Hongjoong should still be in the dance studio. Do you need me to go babysit again?” She rolled her eyes and sent you a wink, sticking her tongue out a little bit.

You couldn’t hear what the voice was saying, but it was stern, with a slightly playful undertone. Mina nodded. “Let me finish up with our new stylists and I’ll go get them. Yeah yeah. So home Eden! Go be with your wife!” She giggled as she playfully shooed him away.

She turned back to you, a warm smile on her face. “I have to go play hide and seek with my boys. It’s never fun. But, before I go, make sure you pack warm right now. Box up summer things and ship them. It’s cold here. And don’t forget your paperwork!” She shrugged her jacket back on. “Oh. And before I forget. I plan on having you move up very soon. I know you have a lot going on in that brain, and I know you’ve already been looking into Ateez and KQ Fellaz 2. You already have plenty of stuff sketched out, and knowing you, half of it is made or in the process of being made.” She sent a wink and she picked up her phone. “You’ll do fine. Don’t overthink. I’ll send you an email with your flight information soon. I love you!” She gave you a cute finger heart and hung up the call.

You blinked, absorbing all the information she just threw at you. You smiled, finally having at least some idea of what’s going on. And you’ll be leaving soon. Your eyes widened. You’ll be leaving soon!

You decided to down your coffee and get to work. You needed to make a list of what you needed to take with you and what could wait and get shipped over. Major was grumpy as you made so much noise as you started to pack.

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