𝐊𝐞𝐚𝐧𝐮 𝐑𝐞𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐬 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐟𝐨𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐝 𝐑𝐨𝐜𝐤 𝐇𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐥 𝐢𝐧 𝐀𝐭𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐜 𝐂𝐢𝐭𝐲, 𝐍𝐉 - 𝟏𝟎/𝟎𝟖/𝟐𝟑

The Very Hungry Caterpillar Picnic Playset !

May my dream, in which I found Japanese novels in Japanese in a second hand bookshop, come true

musing in the tags about the view two years out from my hysterectomy and the shifting nature of neuropathy. i asked my PT for recommendations/resources pertaining to pain science and that's been a very helpful lenses to have. i'm still not back to normal, will never be unmarked by this experience or return to my pre-op self, but my baseline has been gradually increasing over the last few months, and it feels good to look back on the last two years and say "i have no idea how i managed to function while living with that, but i did!"

nooo i broke my yellow claw clip 😭 i gotta buy a new one, i need to have one in yellow for when i'm in the mood to honor häärijä with my hair accessory choices 🌞💛

Winx Characters as Fake Poptart Flavors Part 2

I want to draw Chat Noir using spray paint, any ideas for what he might be vandalising? What he might write? Any backstory to it? Would love some ideas

So, okay, I made a post a bit about this yesterday, but I've had a lot of thoughts since then and a useful conversation with my therapist. So. Complaining about dyspraxia below

I haven't been formally diagnosed with dyspraxia. It's actually pretty much the only diagnosis I've given to myself without at least medical confirmation. But I've given it to myself based on both a lot of research and comments I have received from medical practitioners (e.g. my pediatrician commenting on my weak grip, not meeting developmental milestones on time, comments from teachers, etc). And today my therapist said she's pretty sure I have it based not just on what I've reported but what she's observed in the way I physically interact with the world over the years, so that was helpful and validating. And we contacted my doctor today to hopefully get a referral to an OT, who will be able to actually assess me, which would be very cool. Because I still doubt myself all the time and go "you don't really have this" except like...I do though lol.

Part of the reason I doubt myself about it is that it hasn't had that much impact for many years. But recently, that has changed, and I've realized that it's not that I got better, it's that I went on disability and stopped trying to do a lot of things I used to do and spent like all day on my computer and got assistance with most physical tasks. I'm doing much, much better mental health wise lately, which is amazing, and as a result I'm engaging more and more with the physical world around me, whether that's going on walks or to the grocery store or cooking or dressing nicely or eating in restaurants or trying art or whatever. Which is great!

But it's all. so. fucking. physically. difficult. Not in an exhausting way, in a coordination way. Pushing carts at the grocery store? I bump into things constantly and get really overwhelmed by it and a few weeks ago dropped a glass bottle of olive oil that shattered all over the aisle in the store. Cooking? I love to cook, but it takes me at least 2 to 3 times the time to make any given recipe because I know myself and know I can't multitask so I do all the prep all at once up front, and slowly at that bc cutting vegetables is hard. Putting on makeup? Better set aside 10 minutes just to try to put on lip gloss without going outside the lines. Going to a restaraunt? Often a mortifying experience where I a) bump into other tables and/or b) have food all over my shirt by the end of the meal, which is so embarrassing but I've struggled with it my whole life. And it's just. It's all really really difficult and often I feel so ashamed when I drop something or bump into something or get messy or whatever in public and it just...it just sucks. And I get so so so frustrated and flustered and overwhelmed when I'm trying to do basic tasks at home like hanging up clothes or whatever and it's just so difficult and frustrating for me.

And I had forgotten how hard it all was because for years I just spent all my time on my computer. But I'm not doing that now. Which is great! But I trip and stumble and knock into things and get lost outside and can't do the things I want to do and I'm just constantly reminded that the physical world is very challenging for me. My probable dyspraxia has really been interfering with my life lately in pretty significant ways that have surprised me, I had kind of forgotten how frickin hard it makes a lot of things. I consider myself able bodied for the most part but I'm remembering now that like...not exactly 100% actually. And it just kind of sucks. A lot.

The good news is that as I mentioned, we contacted my GP about it and hopefully I'll get an assessment and maybe even some OT and/or PT, which could hopefully really help me. Because I'm trying very hard to recover and regain some independence, and this is proving a more significant challenge towards those goals than I had expected.

Anyway do we think Siuan did all of Moiraine’s fancy braids

KEANU REEVES Dogstar Concert @ Brooklyn Bowl in Las Vegas 8/12/2023

how do people do makeup and hair every day like what in the world. I’m testing out things between packing and cleaning bc I will be going to a wedding in a week and it’s just. ????? I know you get faster if you do it a lot but I’m also just

So excited to white woman it up in the TJ Maxx

Yesterday was really fun (despite having to wake up early)! Went to the city w my partner to hang out w my big sister at a Japanese market.

There were quite a few stalls w stickers, charms, ceramics, and even a build-your-own terrarium! Had hojicha gelato and honestly I can see why my big sis likes hojicha more than matcha (I think I do too).

There was an area where you could write your wishes on paper and tape it to bamboo for Tanabata. There was one where someone drew a tall among us, and another where someone just wrote "Live, Laugh, Love" which I don't think is a wish, but whatever.

Bought a lot of stickers, an enamel pin and a couple of scrunchies from local artists which was really nice! I was so caught up w the stalls I forgot there was a second level and grocery, so I guess we'll have to go another time to see what's up there.

After the market we got some ramen and it was soooo good! It was my second time going there but the first time for my big sis. We all got black garlic ramen. She said it was really good and worth the money (she lived in Japan for years so I know she knows her stuff), so I'm glad we know at least ONE good authentic ramen place.

We split ways w my big sis and went to a billiard hall and played pool for an hour before heading home. Never been to a billiard hall before which was cool. We got there as soon as it opened so it was mostly empty. I had a lot of fun (even though I lost both rounds lol).

i dont think anyone I know would want to hear me gush like this but

i genuinely cry thinking about how much my cat loves me. shes my esa, and shes very good at her job! shes very very tolerant and i recently just get choked up thinking about how much she trusts me

she was on a very thin ledge in the window, and there wasnt a very clear way down but as i reached to grab her to help her down she jumped to me!!! she did even have her claws out!!! she just knew i wouldnt drop her!!! and that is so sweet and special from a cat i think

augh my only good claw clip just broke

are you kidding these claw clips are so adorable