#and sad for him and mad at everyone else in the fandom
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I just spent about 2 hours looking through my posts from early 2017 and, it really struck me how far we've come. If you had told me Louis would be on a truly massive world tour for his second album and he'd be so confident and happy I would have been in total disbelief and so, so relieved. Sometimes I forget how truly desolate and bleak things were. I think about the pure joy this tour brought me this summer and I think some of the true emotional release of it is knowing how long we had to wait for this and how absolutely deserved it is for him (of course), but also for us.
#idk why i'm just rambling#but i read all of my pre-BTY posts from 2017#and i was miserable#and so fucking angry#and sad for him and mad at everyone else in the fandom#and i'm so so proud and happy for him it like makes my stomach flip#anyway i love you guys#and i'm so happy to have found true louies and not have to go to war on my dashboard every day#idk i should be working BUT this is what happened instead#all because i was just trying to find commentary on that tomlinshaw BTY interview lmfaooo
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someone replied to that that post you rb'ed about "if you can forgive steve for his past actions, you can forgive jonathan" with "this is why i forgive steve, jonathan, and billy" and then OP starting going off on them about how billy is irredeemable compared to them so it's fucked up to like him and they are glad he died 💀 bro
reaching my limit with stranger things fans truly
#like i don’t have the energy anymore#always a byler at the scene of the crime#crazy innit#asks#fandom wank#doing all that while solely referring to lucas as ‘the black kid’ rather than .. you know .. his actual name#like it’s something i see antis do constantly#idk seems kinda insidious#esp when you’re using everyone else’s names#it’s giving using lucas as a gotcha#rather than actually caring about caleb or his character or actual racism#also#the double standards are crazy considering billy was the one who lived with his abusive bigoted father his whole life#vs steve who literally had no reason to act like he did except for being a shitty teenager#who got mad his girlfriend didn’t want him because she was sad her friend died#anyway#cw suicide ment#i guess
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me defending katara: write an entire essay on why fandom treating her as an adult is missing the point of her character when she wants to be able to act like a kid. she wants to be playful and join in on the fun. she's barely the long-suffering "mom" who sighs at everyone else's shenanigans and ignoring her playful side is a huge disservice to her character. she isn't actually that mean to toph and honestly tried to extend her friendship to toph multiple times, it was toph who was being bullheaded and unhelpful towards katara. her being mad at zuko the longest was actually completely justified and it doesn't matter if sokka forgave him faster because katara isn't sokka and she isn't obligated to forgive someone just because her brother did. she actually didn't "talk non-stop" about her mom you guys just hate to see a female character focus on her trauma while writing a million essays on why zuko is the saddest boy to ever sad boy.
me defending aang: if you hate him you will die and go to hell.
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Hi, I just wanted to ask your opinion on this rant, because you’re the only one who I can think of who can understand.
I am literally tired of people holding it against percy/rachel/annabeth for the love triangle, and demonising them even though they’re just teenagers in the middle of a war??
Annabeth was mean, yes, but she was justified! She had fallen in love with someone who (she thought) was meant to die! Then Percy blows up in a volcano and comes back , and avoids the VERY OBVIOUS feelings for her over the next year, which would make anybody mad. And she never yelled at him at tlo because of rachel, its because HE WAS RUNNING AWAY! It was never about rachel, it was about percy!
RACHEL!! She was nothing else other than a friend to percy who just wanted to help him get his mind off the war that was obviously troubling him! She was a kid who hated her own life and wanted an escape! She just misinterpreted her feelings for a crush! Alexa play ‘all because i liked a boy’ by sabrina carpenter cuz the amount of hate this girl got in the fandom is INSANE. (Thankfully, people grew up)
Percy ran away from his feelings, yes he hanged out with rachel instead of annabeth and whatnot but i think people forget what he was going through. Its literally talked about at the end of botl that annabeth was distancing herself from percy cuz she was sad about luke. People rlly expected percy to walk up to her in this crazy time and be like “hey…so about that kiss-“ and its not a crime that he hanged out with rachel. He was preparing for a war where he didnt even know what would happen because everyone was hiding the prophecy from him! He says in tlo that he needs a breather so he was with rachel?? If anyone was preparing for a war, the last thing they would think about is starting a relationship. HE NEVER LED ON ANNABETH AND RACHEL LIKE SOME PPL SAY
TLDR; All three of them had their mistakes, but treating them like they’re not scared teenagers just trying to breathe in a terrifying situation of war is not it
I completely agree with you and couldn't have said it better myself.
#pjo asks#pjo answered#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo text post#pjo#percy jackson#annabeth chase#rachel elizabeth dare
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Hey guess what? Some of us were here back when this show first started. Meaning back when it was just Sun and Moon, and Eclipse was only hinted at. That means that some of us were big fans of Sun. I know, shocker. Which means we were heavily invested in his story and his journey as a character. Which in turn means that we're disappointed, maybe even angry, at how he's always side-lined for other characters. And here's something even more shocking. We're allowed to be mad about it! We're allowed to talk about it! And...we're even allowed to make theories about Sun! I know, how cringey, right? I'm so sick and tired of seeing new fans come here and sneer down their noses at Sun fans. I've been seeing it more and more this past year especially. Just because you started watching this show because you like Solar or Blood Moon or whatever the fuck, doesn't mean everyone else feels the same. How is it that I see constant theory posts and vent posts and such about all the other characters, but any time someone talks about Sun then there's at least one stupid little comment in return. We get it, you don't like Sun, or you like him as a background character. You unironically call it the "Solar and Moon Show" with your whole damn chest. But we've been here long before you, and we have loved Sun for two goddamn years, and we're allowed to be angry or sad about how his story has been left unsaid and forgotten. Stop being sarcastic and condescending to us, because we do see you. We're entitled to our opinions and rants about our "fave" just as much as you are. This is a damn confession blog, where we all confess things and give our opinions. Stop calling out toxicity in the fandom and then being toxic yourself.
.
#sun and moon show#the sun and moon show#tsams#sams#tsams confession#< block this if you dont want to see these#mod 1blood
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PROPAGANDA
Dimitri Alexendre Blaiddyd
PLEASE NOTE: THE MOD OF THIS TOURNAMENT HATES THIS PROPAGANDA! THEY BELIEVE THAT IT'S ACTIVELY LYING ABOUT THE CHARACTER AND COMING FROM A PLACE OF HATE FOR SAID CHARACTER INSTEAD OF THE FANDOM CULTURE SURROUNDING HIM. You have been warned
Why is this man so woobified. The literal whole point of him is that he's meant to be a bait and switch for the typical perfect fire emblem lord hero. He's a sadistic killer without a hint of mercy for a huge part of the story, he works with the dictator church without considering whether or not there's something wrong with it, and his route ends in him being just as much of an imperialist as the others (taking over the whole continent and being crowned its ruler), just by a different name. He's SO interesting and SO conflicted and yet it feels like 99% of the fandom can't look past "uwu emo sad boy :((( so damaged :((((" and completely disregards that he's just as brutal as the other main characters from any other route's perspective, that's the whole point of the game!
Yuno Kashiki
Yuno Kashiki is an 18 year old rental girlfriend and sexworker in Japan. She was incarcerated in Milgram for murder at the start of the series in 2020. Since then she has been repeatedly dehumanized by the fandom. Having her agency and statements on her own life overwhelmingly ignored in order to give her a sob story she has consistently rebuked at every turn. Stating from the beginning even if she had to beg for forgiveness like her life depended on it she would. However, it's simply been handed to her as the audience continually goes she was too young and stupid to actually be held accountable for her actions. The same audience that later tries to vote a 12 year old child abuse victim guilty because she has to learn her lesson and she knew what she was doing. Yes the fandom interprets the eighteen year old who chose to work in the profession they did simply because they wanted to something they have no qualms admitting as having less agency than the twelve year old. They treat her like a stupid baby who's only error was not knowing how a condom worked as a sexworker. They say her only crime is an abortion despite her overtly getting upset at other individuals alluded to be clients throughout her songs. Having the literal lyrics of her second song go, ""Poor naive little girl"? So off the mark, what's it to you? It's absurd. Like really who do you think you are? Don't weigh me meassure me against your morality. Just shut it, will you? You know it all." And "Carrssing me with your "good girl". Who needs your self-righteous pardon?" They're so committed to the abortion equating to the murder she's in here for idea that fans got mad at the writer for even writing it that way when at least several other very not fetuses are alluded to throughout her songs and at points literally shown. Her first song even highlighting her clients belongings throughout it with inverted coloring. But instead of thinking she may have just killed a client who was bothering her they've convinced themselves that she's just a silly little outlier who's not meant to be here because abortion isn't murder her body her choice which fair if it wasn't for the fact the only people putting it on the table to compare to murder is the audience themselves. Despite everyone else in here very literally killing actual people with lives, professions, etc as they frame her case as a feminism issue and say if you vote her guilty you just hate women or are anti-abortion. In response to the framing of her situation as she can hear the audiences thoughts on her she's only gotten more depressed and closed off as tge series has progressed blatantly stating to hurry all this up so she can go home. Because it doesn't matter what she says about her situation the audience and the guard by proxy will just end up creating whatever story they want about her so it doesn't matter she's over it. Which in all honesty fucking fair- Wouldn't anyone be after getting treated like that for going on four years.
She's far more morally grey than folks want to admit. She's not evil, not by a long shot, but she's not exactly innocent either. She's innocent of her (perceived) crime in her media, but in terms of her attitude and outlook on life, I feel people downplay her incredibly grey actions. She uses / used compensated dating as a way to feel "warm" without forming emotional attachments. She hasn't killed anyone, nor has she manipulated anyone into killing for her, but that's why she's a good representative of a more everyday morally grey person. Her actions aren't outlandish or extreme, and if anything she can fade into the background with relative ease, yet I still firmly believe she's morally grey. tldr; Yuno has far more depth than the (general) fandom sees her as having. She gets misrepresented and her voice as a character is often unheard.
#misrepresented morally grey#bracket a#did nothing wrong bracket#fire emblem#fire emblem three houses#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd#milgram#milgram project#yuno kashiki#kashiki yuno#edit: i hate the dimitri propaganda and am so glad everyone else does too
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Pretty gifts
Joker X GN!Reader
TW/CW: reader is androgynous, murders, talking about kys, work in catering (it needs its own warning), reader curses a lot, mention of vomit, stalker, reader throws up, racism, Gotham is hell and fuck capitalism, blood, violence
tbh i'm a little sad bc nobody ever give their opinion on my works. I put another divider (like the red heart below) in the middle of the story, not really to separate as it's following directly but bc some people find my stories too long so it's like a checkpoint. So when you leave, you know where you were. (It's really long)
also the end is a little weird bc I have no idea if this fandom is still alive so, yeah :) if people are reading, I might continue it. Thing is some ppl find this Joker ugly so...
I hope you'll enjoy this. (19/02/2024) (17k)
You weren't weird by any mean, okay ? Life in Gotham is just really hard. You got harassed, robbed and assaulted more times than you can count. And each time by a new profile type ! Old, young or teen, it doesn't matter, everyone is desperate.
Some of your colleagues at work are prostituting themselves and you for sure considerate selling feet pictures.
That's how life is in Gotham.
But weird ? You stare at the angry man before you, unimpressed. You can't believe he called you weird as well as an incestuous result. You're neither of these. Fuck, how is weird and incestuous his first thought when insulting someone ? Like, he could've called you a fucker, a bitch... Anything !
Your aggressor, if you can even call him that after this, shows you his middle finger while walking background. Quickly though, he loses his balance and fall on the ground. Well, at least he didn't beat you up !
You already got assaulted for your money, which you don't even have, you got two jobs and barely reach the minimal wage. But at the end of the day they, well, stole the few you have, you know ? When you think about it, he strongly smelled like alcohol. That's probably why he failed his attempt.
Even stealing is death here. You never know who you're facing. Hell, just yesterday a guy was killed because he tried to assault some big chief of a mob. Someone with a clown face. TV says the man's limbs were still not all found.
Shit, getting killed by a clown must be mad humiliating too.
You sigh, trying to ease your tired traits by passing your hand on your face. At least the day is over, right ? Another day closer to death. You drag your suddenly much more heavier body on some few meters/yards more, silently praying that no one else will bother you.
Thankfully, your cries were heard. Pushing the old creaking door of the building, you rush to the mailbox. Never have you been comfortable staying long here. The door is only behind you and you don't know if someone is able to enter with bad intention.
Speaking of the devil...
No mail except for this weird card yet again. It's cardboard displaying a drawing of a joker, withdrawn from a poker package. It's certainly not the first time someone pull this kind of joke on you. Though, you have no idea who this is and it creeps you out a little. You turn the card to see if a message was left and sadly, (or not) you were right.
You've been trying to understand who this was for a long time now but in a big city like yours, with god knows who or what ? It's just impossible.
As always, you hate to think this because you don't want this creepy card to become part of your habit, a messy handwriting greets you in black ink.
"I'm everywhere in this city, no one can touch me yet some are fond of me."
You stopped school kind of early so your IQ is probably not high enough for you to understand that. Plus, you don't fucking want to.
You grab the card with you in order to throw it once at home and rush to the stairs (some says someone got killed in the elevator plus it's not working since months so you're not taking it anymore). Finally home. Your hallway still smells like piss and a deadly cold reign here (Nobody knows why). Two of the four bulb of the ceiling has burnt out and a faint static noise is resonating in the whole property.
This building is not even in a neighborhood that bad. But in Gotham, not that bad is still bad. Because bad is sleeping to the sound of gunshot and broken windows. While here, there's still these but not as often as in bad neighborhood. But you can add the moans hearable in the night in it as well.
Your building is really old though, which explains (partially) the bad state it's in.
Taking out the key off your pocket, you start to unlock the door. Unconsciously, your mind goes back to the card of the day. "I'm everywhere"... What's everywhere? There's air. But they specified 'in this city' so air might be too simple.
No one can touch me yet some are fond of me.
You can't touch air and you're not sure people are fond of it particularly. Like, air's fine. It's cool as fuck but are you fond of it ? No. Then what is it ?
You didn't even realize you were looking at the card again, your door wide open while standing in the middle of the hallway ridiculously. Slapping yourself mentally for being so careless, you enter and close the door and all your locks shut.
Some are fond of me, huh ?
In Gotham, what are people even fond of ? Misfortune you'd say. These fuckers love to see others suffer and even make sure they do by engaging in others people life.
But you don't know if that's really the answer. Damn, can't they just give you simple question? Or even better: stop giving you any ?
You drop your bag on the floor, slouching your shoulders and throwing yourself on the couch. Fuck, you hate your life. Why are you even here? You don't deserve this life. Nobody does !
Haphazardly moving your hand, you end up successfully grabbing the remote. You need to empty your mind, or have a background noise at least.
The screen lights up displaying you the newest information girl. The last man disappeared after he made the mistake of letting show his politic side. It's obvious everyone is corrupted here but the mystery in this story is ; who erased him ? It could be mob, politics themselves, everyone.
This city is lost.
The woman is talking about the incessant inflation and how numerous factories and business saw themselves forced to close for good. You just hope your business won't shut down, you need money. What if it does close, though ? You were already sweating trying to live with two jobs, but what if you end up jobless ?
It'll be impossible for you to pay anything. To keep your apartment. To eat. What are you supposed to do if this happens ? You already thought about that and all of your long reflection session always end up on one conclusion: kill yourself.
Because there's no way you're living without job in Gotham while being in the streets. You would have left the city if you had money or even family out there but it's not the case. So yeah, killing yourself that is.
Sure it looks a little extreme but isn't earth overpopulated anyway ?
It's better than being killed. At least, you choose your death ! But you're gonna hope this still won't happen. Up to now, your job is yours so taking such drastic measures won't be necessary. And you hope it'll stay this way.
Damn, you're depressed again. You drown out your worries by hiding your face in your couch's pillow. Man, what capitalism is doing to one.
You switch the channel without looking where your fingers pressed, this time a man is talking. He's saying something about a criminal and quoting every one of his crime. It was going crescendo, at first robbery, assault and burglary but just next to all of that was terrorism and mass murder.
You want to turn your head and watch the profile of this man but are too weak to move. So you simply listen closely to the man voice to get answers.
"Yes, he's a dangerous criminal and he's in town. He already break free from Arkham asylum twice now. If one of you see this man; do not engage, hide and call the police immediately. He is incredibly unstable and may not be alone. If you think you can win against him, you're wrong. He's a manipulative man and a mastermind. If you're seen by him, you better start to pray. Ends the man on a serious tone. Man, this guy knows how to reassure people...
-Indeed, a true monster. But please do not scare our audience. Batman was able to capture him twice, we'll be fine. The man chuckles but does not sound really honest. To answer all the questions you've been a lot to send us, we'll have the pleasure of meeting mister Harvey Dent here, chief of the police department to answer your worries. Harvey Dent ?"
And the voice switched to the other man. You like Harvey Dent. You like to think he's the only man in Gotham who's not corrupted. He's helping the citizens. Unlike that Wayne man. This guy could single-handedly resolve the poverty problem, but does he do it ? Of course not. He's rich after all, why should he care for bum like you ?
Harvey Dent is talking but you're not listening. All you know is that he's trying to ease the population. The men on TV are always saying the same things: empty promises. How the police is already taking care of the problem, that it'll be better soon. Like the police isn't already too fucking busy harassing the wrong people.
Harvey Dent is your last hope. The only man who can change things.
You deeply hope his promises aren't as empty as the other man before him. You turn off the TV and relax in the silence of your flat for a moment, breathing in the perfume impregnated in your couch.
There's screams outside. You can't tell if it's the neighbors or someone outside. Either way, you stand up feeling your eyelids getting heavier by each passing second.
But before leaving to your room, you stop in front of your window and stare outside for a moment. It's nighttime now. The city won't go to sleep, oh no, it's just waking up. The police can already be heard in the distance with its loud sirens. This city really is chaotic. It's just everywhere, you can't escape it. Touching it isn't even possible, you can't grasp it, nor resolve it completely; it's in the air. You can't fight against it. Nobody fights against it.
Fuck, it's like they're fond of it, here.
Chaos, it's scary when you think about it. Because you can't guess what's going to happen. There was a time when you thought that anarchists could be right but if anarchy looks like this, you don't want it anymore. You just want some peace and respect. But it seems too much to ask for Gotham.
You fucking hate chaos.
The next morning, your limbs were so sore you almost didn't make it on time to work. Your boss reprimanded you about your delay, pressuring you by recalling you the time one of your colleagues got fired for it. You were only late of something like one or two minutes but it didn't matter to him.
He only wanted to feel superior. He didn't even need real reasons to yell at you.
The restaurant wasn't packed. Only the usual rich families wanting to spend a pleasant day. They were here to eat breakfast. You try not to think too much about the fact that one single of their jewelry is equal to your salary.
The streets were alive; people running, cars honking. Your colleague hitting your shoulder to bring you back to earth, everything is normal.
"You think you can ask Mike to make another one ? she asks you with a sweet voice. The kid threw a tantrum. It's not salted enough and he hates sausages.
You lift up your eyes towards the crying kid in the back. Cold eyes stuck to his face. You're sure he specifically asked for sausage. You're the one who wrote down his order. And the salt ? Can't he just fucking put some himself?
-Don't question it. They're regulars. Plus, I don't think having beef with a kid is good for our reputation." Tells you your friend after seeing the death look you were giving him.
So you take the plate that looked absolutely perfect and delectable to bring it to Mike. Mike is an old man once passionate about cooking. Now he's forty three and stuck cooking eggs and toast to some crying kids.
"No fucking sausage and more salt please. you say, throwing the plate on the counter in a loud clatter. The man laughs at your anger and don't even need to ask to understand. 'Got it boss !' is your answer.
You lay your weight on the counter, back meeting the freezing temperature of it. Different smells invade your senses; fresh bread, warm oil and eggs. Well, lot of different smells were here as well but they're the one that really stuck out to you.
"You were late this morning right ? Did the client touched their plate ? You can eat it otherwise, it looks fine.
-Because it is, it was made by the best cook of Gotham after all.
The man laughs, mimicking someone blushing by putting his hands on his cheeks. He tells you that you're lying and that you're saying that to flatter him only. Mike had buzzed his hair a few months ago but they were back already; small rough curls mocking him.
You sigh and look back at the plate, it did look really fine. The kid hadn't even touched it ! The eggs and the bread were intact, left in the same state it was neatly put in earlier.
You spend your sweet time talking with Mike before your boss comes in infuriated, ordering you to come back at the front. And you're forced to do so. Grabbing a water jug on your way and putting on a fake smile, you walk towards a new family sitting so straight your back hurts just looking at them.
All of them laid down their menu and are waiting. You arrive, apologizing for the wait. 'Have you decided ?' you ask while putting the water on the table. The man takes the menu and start listing his orders without a smile nor even a look in your direction. The woman is busy keeping her children calm and asking them to calm down. The other tables are side-eyeing her while the husband doesn't even acknowledge his wife.
"Noted, you smile and turn your head to stare at the woman for her to start ordering.
She smiles awkwardly, and tells you her kids orders before ordering for herself. You thank them, "I'll be right back." and you leave to the kitchen. You sigh, scotch the orders on the wall, grabs the plate left for you to take and head back to the crying kid from earlier. The demon who ordered fucking sausage before saying he hated them.
But as soon as you place the plate before him with a smile, the kid slams his fists on the table resulting in his glass of water to splash on you and break on the floor. The mother gasps while the dad gives a slap in his son's head without even you registering the whole situation. Your clothes are completely soaked, you want to say something but his mother is sending daggers at you with her eyes and you know not to mess with this stupid fucking family.
Did he did it on purpose ? Yes. Are you gonna say something ? No.
"It's okay, I love children." you don't.
And you leave. Deeply humiliated. But you can't do anything. Because you're no one compared to them, they're gonna win. Always. Your friend asks if you're okay, you shrug. She's unable to question you further as she has to continue working. You head to the back in search of a broom.
The small closet is all the way behind the kitchen and you're already tired just thinking about it. Once you're in, you frenetically search for your item only for a shelf to fall apart behind you and destroy itself on the ground. You bite your lower lip with all your strength to retain you from crying and cursing the whole world.
It's okay, it's just a shelf. It's okay, you try to think but it's hard when it's not even noon and too much shit already happened to you.
You crouch down and start gathering everything you can when your eyes falls upon another one of these poker card. You frown and take it in your hands, examining it deeply. Uh, wow, okay. It's a little weird. You just happen to receive these daily in your mailbox and suddenly there's one here. Okay, totally normal.
You stand up, looking around you for an answer, trying to see if a camera is here somewhere. But nothing. So you turn the card to read the new message: You need one to live, I often rip it apart and yours is mine to steal. A heart ? you immediately think. You definitely need one to live and the sentence 'steal your heart' is kinda famous. But rip it apart ? Is it, like, a metaphor ? Glancing back quickly, you notice a small note left in the bottom right corner of the card. It reads: what a shitty shelf.
You laugh nervously, your breath getting stuck in your throat. What the actual fuck ? it's not even funny, what the hell ? Sorry for the fucking shelf ? They knew this was going to happen ? You definitely have to talk to someone.
You pass your hand on your face, rubbing it strongly as if to wake you up from a bad dream. Then you take the broom and head back.
Rushing to the kitchen, you accidentally pushes someone in your haste. You see Mike from afar and don't even need to approach him that you yell your question for everyone to hear:
"Mike, do you happen to play poker ?" the man faces you, his confused expression told it all, he didn't. And from the other's cook faces, they probably all thought that you were crazy. None of them looking guilty. But you'll investigate that later.
Not wasting any seconds, you almost run to the main room to find your friend. Luckily for you, she's cleaning glasses at the bar.
"Hey, is it yours ?" you're a little out of breath when showing her the joker card. Your friend simply shakes her head. When you asked her if she knew if one of your colleagues was playing poker, she shrugged and told you she didn't know with an apologetic smile.
"Why ? she asks.
-It's complicated." you say.
It can't be from the same person, right ? If it is anyway, that probably means one of your colleagues is the one putting these at your place. Which is a terrifying idea because you sure never gave your address to anyone here. Trying to see the bright side of it all, that means that you may know your 'joker'. And if that's the case, there's a way for you to stop them. It's better than the cards coming from a total stranger, because you can't act against them. You'll probably leave some clues at work to see and trap your joker.
The rest of the day was terribly hard. You were dying from the inside. Your tummy was growling like a beast; you did not have the time to eat. As you're juggling between two jobs, your boss thought that he had to exploit you as much as he could before you left. Because you're joining the bar, your second working place, at two pm.
"You're gonna leave in the middle of the day, when most people are coming. I'm losing money here, you see ?" he had said to you that day. Yeah, he does not give you any breaks because to him, you don't need one as you leave earlier. Of course you tried to negotiate and he was agreeing with you, on the condition that he pays you less.
"Mike, I'm leaving. you tell him, taking off your apron. Have a nice day, say hi to your kids for me." he smiles warmly to you, wave and you're out of the room in a quarter of seconds. You already bid goodbye to your friend so all you had to do now was to leave.
Putting on your jacket, your thoughts can't stop but think back about this other card you found. Yours is mine to steal. In what sense ? You could've thought it was some creepy flirting but it's just too much. You found these at home, at work. Everywhere. Are they going to rip your heart apart, too ? Are these threats ?
Hopping in the bus, you try to stay away from Gotham's crackhead as much as possible but it's hard when they're drunk and staring at you like they want to beat the shit out of you.
Fortunately, your stop arrives and you hurry to get out. It's 2:36 PM (14:36), the bar is not open yet but cleaning and organizing everything is part of your contract.
It's at five pm (17h) that you open the bar, standing behind your counter and waiting patiently for clients to arrive. You're happy Sean is here. He's a big man of 2m3 (~6'8), practices combat sport and knows how to handle different weapons. In a neighborhood like this, you're more than grateful to have him.
He's also the son of the owner. So it's really just the two of you here. The first persons starts entering the place and it quickly fills up entirely. It's quite a famous area, cops never comes here as mobs are doing their own laws. Sean puts on some background music you can't even hear anymore over the loud voices of the men laughing cavernously.
You're busy serving people's drinks. Moving as fast as you could but it being hard when your thoughts are plagued by cards and your mind is not here. Who's this joker man ?
The street lamp are all finally on, meaning it was past seven already. You didn't even see time pass, the incessant flirting and bickering of the men here enough to keep you from being alone with your thoughts.
"Thanks baby." says a young man when you give him his beer. He has a really bad scar going from his forehead to his lower lip. It's no surprise, you saw men with less limbs, other talking unknowns languages, some with sight or hearing completely lost. Sometimes normal people like you would come, women even but more rarely as the men here were true animals.
You wonder what type of people there is with you tonight. You're not naive enough to think all of them are innocent, in fact, you're sure 85% of your client here are criminals. This bar is situated apart from the city, in a corner more secluded with abandoned looking buildings and scary dark alleys you certainly don't want to visit at night, or even at day for that matter.
This place sucks.
Honestly, with your cards problem, you even considered engaging a spy to see who put these creepy notes in your mailbox. But two things prevented you to do so; first, you do not want to do business with criminals, second; there was a chance that your joker was one of your client.
Some of your clients here probably have mental illness as well, worsening their state. And maybe someone fixated on you and decided to follow you home. It'd be really awkward to engage a man to scare your joker away, only for him to be the same person you're trying to avoid.
But now this idea starts to disappear. You found a card at work after all, your boss is not stupid enough to let anyone break in. So the criminal track wasn't the one. It's one of your colleagues. There's just no way one of the bar's client could have followed you home and at the restaurant.
But on the other hand, it's difficult to see one of your colleagues following you home too. Because after working at the restaurant, you're not heading home right away. You're working here. Is it possible they waited outside until you finished ?
"A whisky for me." is what tears you away from your misery.
You do not look up, instead turning your back to him and reaching the shelves to search for the bottle. You grab a glass, throwing ice cubes in it and pouring the harsh liquid in. You then slide it to him, he nods and drink a first long gulp.
You follow his arm to his face before blocking on it. It's a man with a skin so pale it's getting worrying. His eye bag are terribly dark that you thought he had put black eye-shadow on them. And for a second, you truly thought it was the case. He had really bad scars going from each corner of his lips up to his cheeks, like a badly drawn smile. In the small crevices of his scarred skin, there was faint white and red paint, or make-up that did not left during shower. Is he like, a mime or a clown ? He looks like he haven't showered for a while, no judgements or anything, but his green hair are greasy.
He continues to savor his drink quietly while you're here, astonished by such weird scars. You saw scars, a lot of them. But they all looked accidental, caused by self defense or anything. But his clearly looked volunteer. You could clearly see that the goal was to create some sick form of smile, whether it is successful or not. What the hell happened to this guy ? Has he been tortured ? Did he make these to himself ?
'You got some nasty scars' you want to say. But the wicked grin he gives you is enough to make you gulp and smile awkwardly. Of course he saw you looking at him, you did not move an inch/millimeters. And he does not look like the type of guy to be nice.
"D'you like them ?
-Sorry ? you blinked.
-My scars. Do you like them ?
-Uh, yeah, yeah.
Fucking creepy. What the hell ? What did he do to have those ? Why is he even asking you this ? Why is he looking at you like that ?
-Do you want to know how I got them ?
-No." you answer at the mere second he ended his question, by pure fear he was going to destroy you. Or try to recreate those scars on you. Hey, you never know.
The man grins and chuckles at the quickness of your answer and stops talking for a while. Did you just escape death ? You think so.
He stopped drinking, though. You try to look busy but you're just organizing and disorganizing things on loop. Sean is having the time of his life chatting with the clients towards the tables area. But you, you're stuck behind the counter. You can't even count the times you got your ass slapped or got whistled. Plus, some of these guys often try to threaten you with knifes to make you give them free drinks.
It could've work if Sean wasn't here.
But it's comical in a sense. The morning, you're busy being the little dog, the little slave of these stuck rich people crying when their plate arrives one minute late, with prices on the menu so high it's clearly a scam for some eggs and bacon. With a ground so perfectly clean you could lick it.
And at night, you're here. Surrounded by criminals, drunkards and God knows who. With bad music taste rumbling in the background and place so dirty you could throw up and not even see it through the trash lingering on the ground. Well, in your defense, because you're the one cleaning, it was clean before. But everyone arrives with their disgusting shoes or bleeding and then they spill their drinks, and they fight and, yeah. At the end of the day, this place is a mess.
Your back is still facing the mime guy but you know he's staring at you. You know it because you can't stop shuddering. Your works are sure keeping you in touch with reality at least, you've seen both extreme.
"What's your name ?" You face him, afraid to offend this weirdo.
Telling him your name out of all the people ? Never. Smiling the best you can, you tell him your coworker name from the restaurant. He grins like a Cheshire cat, his smile accentuated by his prominent scars, nodding. You know better than to ask him back his name, he's probably, surely, a criminal. You don't have a death wish at the moment. You usually don't like to lie but this job at the bar taught you better.
-You know, he starts again and you pray he does not start to harass you with questions, he licks his lower lip before continuing. There's one thing I truly hate in this world. He pauses. You wanna know what ?
-Tell me. You say reluctantly, not wanting to anger him.
He lays one of his elbows on the counter, raising a brow and looking around him as if going to tell you a secret he wants no one else but you to know. Then, he looks at you again, a mysterious glint in his eyes.
-Liars.
Oh.
-They're such... he squints his eyes, moving his hand in the air to the flow of his thoughts. Vicious, little bitch, you know ? If we want to change things, he licks his lips, they're the first people that have to go. Don't you think ?
-Yes, I'm with you on that. you hurry to answer, nodding frenetically, feeling your blood run cold and a sweat cross your spine. Myself I really can't stand lying, you know ? Liars are really bad, they're manipulative and all. you were just trying to save your ass at this point. You received a lot of threats in your life, but this man right here ? There was something deeply wrong with him. He was fucking traumatizing you. You did not want to mess with him.
The only thing plaguing your thoughts is; does he know ? Does he know you lied about your name ? Because he specifically asked this question right after you presented yourself. Does he know ? No, no he doesn't. How is he supposed to know you ? You don't even have any name tag on.
The man chuckles deeply before you, licking very briefly his lips again; is that a tic ?
-What's his name ? he asks, looking straight to Sean, as if judging his soul. Does he have to stare at people like he wants to kill them all the time ?
Now you understand. He scared the shit out of you to ensure you wouldn't be lying to him. And now he's testing you. Why, you don't know. But you answer honestly this time. He smiles mischievously. Maybe that wasn't even his plan, maybe he's just deeply weird and unsettling. Maybe he doesn't even know you ever lied to him. Maybe you see things where there's none.
If there's one thing Gotham has taught you, it's to be wary of everyone.
-Are you fucking him ? he asks again, still looking at Sean laughing with the others.
-Why ? this thought never even crossed your mind before. Why would you fuck Sean ? He's nice, he's good looking but, you don't know, you wouldn't fuck him. You just, don't want to ? He's a friend.
-He's quite the tall guy. Are you fucking him ? he insists, ignoring completely your question.
Wow, that is getting incredibly uncomfortable and personal. You know you're supposed to entertain them and all but damn, this guy is killing you. You throw a glance in Sean's direction, hoping to catch his attention so he could help you but he's busy laughing with other clients.
-Why're looking at him ? I'm the one talking.
-I don't think this is appropriate, Sir. It's quite the personal questions you're asking me here. you laugh nervously, hoping to relax the mood but the man before you doesn't even react. Can I maybe offer you another drink ? It'll help...
-You got something to hide ? he licks his lips.
What. The. Fuck.
-I have to stay mysterious in order for you to come back, right ? you do not want this weirdo to come back, but that's the default sentence you usually say to avoid answering intimate questions.
But the make-up man does not insist, he gives you a cheeky grin.
-You want me to come back ? How flattering.
Most of the time, what you implies when saying this is that you want them to come back to consume more, so you have more money because you're kinda the bartender of this place. But this guy just plainly wants to fuck you up. Where's Sean when you need him the most ?
It's like no one around you is seeing you. They're all drinking their sadness, trauma, day away, not caring that a creepy guy is keeping you in his weird conversation you clearly do not want to participate in.
-Do you want to play a game with me ?
-I'm... Quite busy, actually. So...
But he knows you, now. He knows you're a bad little liar. Listening to you is now optional to him; he clearly doesn't care. The man stands up and you start to get scared. What is he going to do ? Is he going to hurt you ? Your hand is holding firmly the bat under the counter, fingers shaking with adrenaline. You never used a weapon before, less against someone. You never hurt someone, intentionally at least.
Sean, move your ass over here, now.
The man grins, eyes trailing your arms. He knows you're hiding something under this counter, but can he blame you ? You're surrounded by criminals, he's one himself ! It's impossible to know what to expect. Honestly, you're ready to scream to get attention and get helped. Even if there's high possibilities for a general fighting to start resulting in this poor bar to be destroyed.
But the man does not try to hurt you, he smiles, put his hands in his pocket and you now realize how well he's dressed for someone like him. A nice and well maintained purple suit.
"It makes me live and follow you at dark, keeps me up at night and makes you fall apart."
No...
-Who am I ?" He ends slowly, torturing you.
Your shoulders slouched down, tension leaving your hand on the bat. Your body become a big, useless puddle. Eyes as big as owl ones.
"I-I don't want to play. Your stutter had gave away your uneasy feeling, you step back, eyeing this man from head to toe.
You've come to despise those damn riddles. You don't want to hear more of them.
-But this one's so simple sweetheart. He mocks you. It starts with a pretty little O and ends with a N. I'm sure you'll find out.
You shake your head slowly; no, it's not simple, no, you don't want to find out, no, you don't fucking want to listen to him. But he simply chuckles, relatively amused by such a big reaction. Well, with that kind of huge revelation, you can't quite control yourself.
He's rummaging through his pocket, heart almost leaving you. What is he searching for ? A weapon ? What is he thinking ? But against all odds, the joker man takes out something so small you can't even see it behind his palm. You know he's doing it on purpose, hiding it from you to destroy you more, to see the look of surprise, fear or shock, or... Whatever, on your face.
-That's my business card, as a little... Reminder." You deeply doubt someone like him own any business, less business card. So what is he going to give you ?
He lays gently his hand on the counter right before you, not letting you see what he was hiding until he removed completely his hand, confirming your theory of him hiding it on purpose. You'd recognize them anytime. Your heart is beating faster, so fast you're scared it might explode. Nothing is written on the side you're staring at, you grab the cardboard, praying that it's just a crazy coincidence even if the drawing of the joker smiling stupidly on the card is taunting you.
But when you turn the card, the answer is given to you. For the first time since you've started to receive these.
-Obsession." you sigh, breath getting stuck in your throat. You were petrified. "You're... You're the joker man." you say in a shaky voice. Was it finally him ? Answers, you needed answers. But when you looked up, the man had disappeared. Leaving you with nothing but deep fear.
Silent tears slide on your cheeks, you bring your hand to your mouth in order to hide your muffles. Looking back at the card, you feel your legs give up under you when your real name is written in bold black letters in a bottom corner. Bile is rushing to your throat.
It's him. He's the one sending you these.
But you don't know him. You don't fucking know this man. And he's a criminal. You're fucked. Smiling like a madman, you start to laugh nervously, not realizing the situation. It's a joke, right ? You cough, progressively choking on your saliva. You bite your lower lip so hard it starts bleeding. You pray, you pray so hard this man isn't your stalker but you're lying to yourself. It's literally the worst case scenario that could happen.
You've never seen this man in your entire fucking life. Where does he even come from ? Why you ? Why him ? With his fucking creepy scars and fucking riddles. He knows your address ! Your name ! What else does he know ?
"You okay there ?" You nod without even looking at the person talking to you. You choke out a quick answer before rushing to the back towards the private toilet.
Immediately collapsing to the ground, you throw up everything you had in you, which wasn't a lot to begin with. You barely even ate anything. But you can't stop. You empty yourself, only vomiting water.
Sean finally comes get you, he rubs your back and help you get up. "What happened ?" He asks you.
"I don't fucking know." Is the only thing you can muster.
What you do know however, is that you're scared to go home.
"Are you heading home tonight ?" You ask him, voice hoarse. "Well, yeah" is his answer. So you asked him, begged him to come with you. Because you were horrified by the mere idea of going home alone. Maybe he would be here.
"You can come to mine if ya want." he offers. And you think that the guy from yesterday probably was right, you were weird. Why aren't you going to the cops, after all ? Probably because they'll think you're lying, that you're insane. A joker ? Harassing you with riddles ? You'll end up in a asylum in no time.
But wouldn't you be safer in a asylum ?
When Sean and you closed the bar, it was already well past one am. You didn't had the strength to redo this all over again tomorrow. But Sean was of good company, cheering you up and trying to ease your mind. Multiples times he tried to ask what was wrong, but he guessed it alone. "Was it that weird customer in purple ? The one with the suit ? I saw him lingering a really long time at the counter." You shrugged when he said that, completely worn out. What could he even do against him anyway ? The Joker man wasn't known to any of you. It was a lost cause.
Chatting with your friends wasn't even crossing your mind, you were terrified. The long walk to his apartment was as quiet as a church. What the fuck were you going to do now ? You were dead, yes, you were just dead at this point. What can you even do against some psycho following you around ? Fight back ? Yeah, if you have a death wish. You have to get out of this city, there's no other plan. But how ? And to go where ?
"We're here." says Sean. You've never been to his apartment's before, and to be honest, you would have preferred for it to happen in other circumstances. Trying to escape a criminal wasn't in this year plan.
Before you stood a tumbledown grey building, not much different from yours in reality. After all, Sean's not that rich, he's payed like you and live with his dad's payment. Though, you're pleasantly surprised to see the coziness of his place.
Warm lights were turned on, his sofa looked quite mellow and the general smell of the apartment was lovely. Not that you're judging him, but you wouldn't have thought he was such a clean guy. Because he's like, well, some kind of mafia man. So, yeah, he often smells like sweat and dirt himself, it's a surprise his place is so neat. Sure, it's damaged by humidity then and there, there's cracks in the walls but so do yours. The paint is peeling in some areas as well, you're used to it enough to not notice it. You take off your shoes, but keep your jacket. Probably in search of a safe feeling, maybe by fear of being vulnerable.
"You can sit on the couch, I'll order something.
You don't even have the will to eat right now, the ugly feeling everything entering your body might be threw back out instantly bothering you too much. However, you did sit on the couch. It smelt like him; you hated it. You were violating his property, his intimacy. You shouldn't be here.
But do you really have a choice ?
Sean is talking in the background, on the phone, yet, not a single word is understood by you. It's like he's speaking a whole new language. The red flowers on his TV stand keeps reminding you of the joker's card and his damn hat.
He hung up, that you heard, and left for another room. You hate to bother him, he probably only wanted to go home and sleep after a hard day but you messed up his plans. Grabbing the remote, you turn on the TV to empty your mind. You search for series, documentary or cartoons, only to be disappointed at the sight of obnoxious ads.
You end up watching the news, it being the sole channel not drowned in ads. A woman is speaking in a professional neutral voice, wearing a white shirt. She talks about the inflation killing our country before going onto her next subject; the outgrowing insecurity. The two preoccupation of the government, or at least, what they want you all to think about.
From what she says, a hold-up happened in a bank yesterday, in plain sight. (Why do they talk about it now, you don't now.) The building stank laughing gas. Only one man declares having seen the main suspect. Her chair slides to the side, leaving space for the video to appear and for the victim to testify; "Green disgusting hair and some fucked up clown make-up. That's the only thing I saw. He has no value, I'm telling you, criminals used to believe in things ! He has no respect for anyone, he killed his own team ! He's gonna come back for me, I'm sure of..." and he's erased from the screen at his outburst, for everyone to forget his trauma.
Did he say clown ?
"Indeed, the woman vigorously resumes, a faint smile on, was she laughing at the victim ? green hair and clown make-up is on brand today as everyone only talks about this mysterious criminal. After disappearing for months, the troublemaker is back in town and seems unstoppable. But has he truly ever gone away ?
It's not the same man, right ? No, no of course not. If he's a famous criminal, he has better things to do than harass insignificant useless civilians like you with stupid riddles. He robbed a bank ! Why would he even look in your direction? Fuck, what if he thinks you have some kind information? What if he think you're related to a criminal ? What if you are ?
-He calls himself Joker, always wears his clown make up and has a habit of wandering at night." The woman straightens her posture and clasps her hands together. "After yesterday's fiasco, the famous criminal already perpetrated his next attack. Earlier, at noon, the biggest hospital of the city was targeted. Cops were able to evacuate everyone urgently. Gotham is in shamble, people are afraid and angry. The police is trying to calm the crowds, in vain." Images are shown behind her of people running, yelling, stretchers evacuating and flashing cops car during her speech.
She continues talking but you stopped listening when finally a picture of the Joker was displayed on the screen, his face horrifyingly reminding you something. Too many information are going to your brain in so little time. You try to rationalize everything but it's hard when your mind is too tired to cooperate.
He's called the Joker. And you happen to receive joker cards. He wears make up. The man at the bar looked like he did. Hyperventilating is the only thing seemingly still possible from your body. You stand up, inking, sinking, learning, engraving his face to memory.
Two big scars, both going from each corner of his mouth to his cheeks.
Like a badly drawn smile.
"Sean !" you call. Your friend runs out of the bathroom, disheveled, shirt loose and no pants, only in underwear. He rushed out, scared something had happened. Your shaking pointer aim at the TV screen, at the face of the man on it. "It's him. He was at the bar."
When Sean looks at the man, a chill runs down his spine. He understands what might have happened earlier. He could see the purple suit the man had on on the picture, which was the exact same one he saw at the bar. Fuck, it is the same man. He knows the Joker, hell, everyone knows him here.
And that's bad news.
He's everywhere in everyone business. He has no sense of loyalty whatsoever, killing even his best allies and no one has the slightest clue what he wants. At the bar, he probably scared the shit out of you, he probably threatened you, too. Why, it's impossible to know. He's quite the unpredictable.
-Don't worry, he says, he probably forgot about you already. He's a scary man, likes to shock people a little. He always attack for a reason and you're not a criminal, so you're good."
But you couldn't believe it. He does not have all the information. He doesn't know about the tons of cards you received until now. Eyes completely stuck to the screen, you observe the face before you, knowing you probably wouldn't be able to escape him.
Somehow, this emission confirmed to you that he was real, that you weren't dreaming. And that you really were in it deeply.
Sean insists you shower to relax a little bit, you're holding onto the remote for dear life, nails digging in your palm. When in the bathroom, your eyes automatically gravitates towards the mirror, discovering your new face scarred by sleepless nights and cries. You're almost scared of your reflection. Sighing, your hands find themselves in your pockets alone but you're startled by the coldness they are greeted with. What have you in your pocket that is freezing like that ?
Your unease comes back in a rush when you take out another one of these cards from your jacket. Are you for real going crazy ? What is going on ? When did this get here ? How did it get here ? It's your damn jacket ! You had it in the work closet all day !
You're tired and doing this little fucked up game is not doing any good. A greasy almost wiped red is the first thing you see, his lips, you guess. He wears some kind of paint as lip stick, he fucking kissed the card, creepy bastard.
Turning the stiff paper, your eyes meet once again one of these painful riddle.
"I'm everywhere, you can't escape me and I'm coming for you. Who am I ?" tears slide quietly on your cheeks, the only sane reaction your emotionless state can give. You're not even moving, eyes staying fixated on the card; the tears are just physical. Body exhausted from it all. What is this now ? You know he's not talking about an object anymore, he's talking about himself. It's not riddles, it's threats. He's coming for you, what is he going to do ? Kill you ? Torture you, or worse ?
The shower did nothing to ease your nerves, you've never been so tensed in your life. What could you even do against this man ?
When Sean called you to eat, you let him know you weren't feeling the slightest hunger. He said nothing, simply keeping a plate for you on the kitchen counter.
You did not even blink an eye that night, paranoid at the slightest noise, a knife slept cautiously under your cushion. The windows and doors were completely shut and you would have loved to do the very same thing to your brain. You fell asleep, eventually, when you should have been up.
Sean was still asleep when you awoke the next day. You were late, and terribly so, the clicking clock on the wall warning you. It was already way past nine. You don't like to leave his house without even thanking him for his hospitality once again. But you'll see him tonight, at the bar. You'll probably have to quit, though. Not yet, as you have to secure another job. You can't risk being here without money, after all. Joker knows where you work at, no way you're staying more than necessary. But... he has to know about your restaurant job too, somehow.
You had a card in the closet, with his stupid shelf trap, after all.
You're safer there, maybe. It's quite the chic area. There's camera, people. Socialites are here, nobody attacks socialites. Usually, at least. Doubts subsists, the journalist on the TV affirmed the Joker attacked in the middle of the day, in plain sight. Would he attack the rich ? They're untouchable, their lawyer always know what to do and they know everyone. You can't kill a famous advocate, right ? It's like attacking the mayor. Remembering his face, you keep the unsettling impression he could kill anyone.
Fuck.
You take a piece of paper, write a few words on it, scotch it on the fridge and leave, dashing outside to not worsen your lateness. You were dead, oh you were so dead. Late couldn't even describe your situation by now. You boss was going to kill you, de-materialize you and send you in another world.
You ran until your legs couldn't support you anymore, people were side-eyeing you in the streets. Certainly thinking of you as some kind of thief or at the very least a criminal of some sort.
Jumping in the nearest bus, your legs being too weak to support you anymore, you finally arrive at your workplace ten minutes later. It was quarter to ten.
You're breathless, rushing once again to the rear of the restaurant. You push the back door open but to your surprise, it won't budge. What ? The guys never lock the door that early in the morning, they know you'll arrive, eventually. You knock a few times, knowing you had the key anyway but if someone was passing by inside, it would be quicker.
You don't have to wait that long as your boss himself is the one opening it for you, as if waiting beside it until your entry. He probably was. He crosses his arms on his chest, eyes glaring holes in you. Damn, you'll have to fight with him, again. You promised him you wouldn't be late anymore, he will never trust you again.
Well, it's not like he trusted you much before to begin with.
"Listen, I'm terribly sorry I'm late but... he scoffs.
-As If that was the only problem ! The man tightens his jaw, talking between his teeth. He approaches his head to yours, almost colliding your forehead together; he talks lowly, scared to be heard. You know damn well what's wrong.
Wow, okay. You were not expecting his reaction to be that dramatic. You're just (incredibly) late. It's not new. What's gotten into him ? You squint your eyes, at a loss of words.
-I was just... You start, ready to recite him once again your preposterous apologies.
-I don't give a fuck about you being late, he cracks, get out of here now ! You are not to put a single of your foot in this restaurant anymore ! You're gonna scare my customers ! In the process, a postilion left its house to attack your cheek. You cringe, immediately wiping it with your sleeve, shuddering in disgust.
-What ?
-What, what, he mimics you with a grimace and a weird voice, Get out of here ! He articulates each words slowly as if you were a foreigner, except his tone was harsh and firm. Haven't you seen the news ? If they hear a criminal is working here, I'm screwed.
-A criminal ? But I'm not... I'm, what the hell ? I'm not a criminal Tony.
-Yeah, yeah, and I'm rich ! Get the fuck out of here or at least, do me a favor and let me turn you in to the police." his face changes to disdain, suddenly thoroughly repelled by your being. "Man, you have to be some dirty criminal to have 600 000$ put on your face. What kind of shit have you done, huh ?
Six fucking what ?
-Uh, listen, I think there's some kind of misunderstanding here. I'm no criminal and I'm definitely not worth that much money.
Hell, in all your life, you did not even earn that much money !
-Hey, his tone changed to deviously adopt one sweeter. I don't want any problems okay ? With you, the cops or whoever is fucking wanting you dead. I'm an honest citizen.
What a hypocrite, he was literally yelling at you seconds ago.
You frown, trying to even understand what he's implying. You scratch your cheek, eyeing him from head to toe. He's in a tux, like always. He never do shit here, settling for bossing everyone around while trying to make you believe he's an irreplaceable element in the team.
Judging by his eyes, he is not kidding.
Is he for real firing you ? Just like that ? For some imaginary story he just made up ? Jobless, you will be jobless. He is firing you. A nervous chuckles escapes you, earning you a raise of the brow from Tony. No, oh no no ! You have this job, you did nothing wrong ! Life is already more shitty than it ever been ! Stalker, debts, fucking serial killer wanting your ass and now you lost your main job ? No, that won't do.
You were already planning to leave the bar, how are you supposed to find back two jobs ? One already was an ordeal.
-Honest citizen ? Are you blind ? You were more so than him at the moment. You don't even have an ounce of honesty in your fucking body ! Are you even aware of everything I did for this shitty place ? You can't fire me and you won't because no one else want to be your fucking slave ! Your job is slavery ! I don't want to be some kind of toy you throw away after you've had enough fun with it !
Tony was outraged you could talk to him like that. He was similar to a bourgeois in the eighteenth century, acting shocked after being the most gruesome person alive, putting his hand displayed on his chest and playing innocent.
-Me ? You should be honored to even be working ! You never understand, do you ? You are wanted, that's it ! There's nothing more, nothing less. You are fired. I am not hiring trash.
You hope the worst criminal of this town gets you, right here, for his fucking ugly disgusting restaurant to be destroyed to the very last crumbs. You'll use his body as a human shield while you're at it, after all, what else can he be useful for ?
Your body is boiling like lava. Hitting, jumping, crying, you don't know what you want, need, to do to externalize all of these toxic feelings. Never in your life have you felt more used, humiliated.
You knew he was an asshole, of course. Everyone does, but hell he fired you ! After years of being his toy !
You understand why people in Gotham are crazy. You understand why they suddenly breakdown and fall into crime. Their life, just like yours, was wasted by some self centered prick like him. Some self centered prick who are not even much richer than you, but think they will be when disrespecting you.
Your face isn't even warm, it's seething.
Your life is flashing before you, old friend, family, home, Mike. You won't even be able to pay your rent ! Of course chaos would be loved in a city where trash rules. Why the manifestation are so violent, why insecurity and banditry are prominent ? Because everyone is tired but nobody is listening. Because nobody wants to talk, they think they're at the top of the food chain.
And he won't change his mind. You're fired, that's all. Nothing can alters his decision. It's too late. He probably just created some poor excuses to get you out, you know it. Because you're not a criminal, and no one is giving away 600 000$ for your ass; he's lying. It's too farfetched.
You muster the calmest voice you can get while in such a boiling state, and God knows how hard it is. Wasting more time here is useless, he'll pay but not now, and not by you. You have a new problem: you need to find a job.
-Why don't you kill yourself, Tony ? Right now ? your eyes were empty against his outraged ones. That's why your wife left you, by the way. That's why she left you and took your damn kids. You don't even deserve to live, really, kill yourself, jump, it'll be better for everyone."
You shrug and turn away to never come back. You really hope he disappears forever.
And without anything else to do with your day, you went back home, body functioning by its own. With no diploma and no driving license, how were you supposed to find a job ? You had little experience, mostly having worked in little jobs everywhere. Cashiers, cleaner, babysitting, gardener (you really just cut bushes and mowed the lawn), security guard, fuck, you did it all. Plus, you have a second job and companies hate to arrange their schedules according to yours, in their point of view, you're the desperate one, you should manage your life.
It was safer to wander in Gotham now, the sun was bright in the sky. It was a clear day, really pretty. A shame you couldn't enjoy it.
You open the always creaking door of the building, feeling the freezing temperature inside. Truly a mystery, though a benediction in the hottest summer. A night out and it's like you already don't know this place anymore. You stand in the middle of the hall, staring at each crack in the walls, each suspicious stains, inhaling the disgusting smell emanating from it all.
Yeah, you hate this place.
Sighing and rubbing your tensed shoulders, you approach your mailbox. Opening it, you're pleasantly surprised when no cards is in sight. Maybe he finally got bored ? Your reaction back at the bar probably wasn't what he expected, not satisfying enough so he gave up. You hope so.
What's inside however is a A4 white sheet folded in two. Thinking a neighbor might have wanted to contact you, you open the paper. Yet, on it, the photo of your identity card in huge format, above it, your whole legal name with just below a price, written 'wanted' for treason. A chill run down your spine.
Okay, that is not funny. What the hell ? Did Tony did that ? If yes, how and why ? You pass your hand on your face, harshly rubbing your eyelids to wake you up. This is a joke, everything's a joke.
An echo brings you back on earth when someone goes down the stairs, upon seeing you, your neighbor halts. You offer him a tight lip smile out of pure politeness, which is a an act he does not even try to imitates as he eyes you as if seeing an animal. Do you look that bad ?
Awkwardly, you shift your weight on your feet to ease the tension growing in you. Why is he still looking at you ? The man, even though you were already well far away from him, distances himself and instead of going straight to the door to leave, bothers to make a detour in order to skirt you completely, without daring to approach a millimeter. Does he think you're going to bite, or what ? You two have talked in the past, briefly sure, but still. Fuck, his behaviour does not comfort you one bit.
When the door shut, you're left standing alone once again.
Things are definitely going in a direction you don't appreciate, you may need to hurry up before something really bad happens. Your hand fetches your phone in your back pocket, calling Sean. When he answers, he does not even bother to greet you.
"You okay? You left really early. You're at work ?
-I got fired, long story. I really need your help, again. I'm truly sorry I myself don't quite understand what's going on and... you stop your ranting, breathless and a lump in throat.
-It's okay, really. I don't mind. Tell me everything, how did you get fired ? Why ?
You called him for several reasons. The first being that he's kind of the only friend you have. The second being that Sean's family know people. They're all criminal at different degrees, whether it is gang leader, small thief or hitman. He's the only one actively trying to live an honest life.
-It's complicated and I'm still pissed about it. you tell him seriously, walking in circles in the hall. I have a question and I really need your answer.
-Not stressing at all. He tries to ease the mood, in vain.
-Am I wanted ?
Sean doesn't answer for twenty seconds too much. His silence is starting to worry you, why isn't he saying anything ? Is he confused ? Does he know ? Please, may he not hide something from you. Wanting to distract yourself, you take the stairs to join your flat. Your fingers were creasing the paper sheet in your hand so hard you could have ripped it.
-In like, he finally starts with a strained voice, a personality kind of way ? Relationship ? He chuckles awkwardly while you frown. Well, no offense but uh, I don't think I am attracted to you, I like you but I wouldn't say I want you, you know ? But you shouldn't be insecure, you're a really great person you know, and I mean, you're not ugly so...
-Sean, what the fuck ? You finally cut him when it hit you that he wasn't answering. You were on the floor just below yours, wanting to walk and not quite go home for the moment.
-I'm sorry, was that mean ? That was definitely mean. He clears his throat. Listen, what I meant was...
-No Sean I'm not insecure, everything's fine. I did not mean... Argh ! You're in this kind of environment, you should know !
-What environment ...?
You want to pull at his hair and shake his head back and forth to punish him for being so stupid. Or maybe you were just not being clear, it was surely that. You were incredibly stressed. Traveling between the different floors or the building to stretch your legs.
-Like, criminals, mafia, I don't know. It's... You sigh, your anger dissipating when you realized you were being a little harsh to him. Weird things keep happening to me and I think I'm going crazy for thinking I may have a price on my head.
-Oh, wanted wanted. No because I thought... He coughs. Never mind. I can definitely tell you that. But honestly, odds are low. No offense but you have nothing to give to anyone. You don't have a lot of money. So I don't think anyone wants you.
Damn.
-Why do you think that anyway ? he asks.
Very briefly, you explain to him why Tony had fired you, still using the stairs and floors as a distraction. Of course, you then told him about the paper you found in your mailbox and the weird encounter with your neighbor.
-I'm just really fucking lost, Sean. I'm sorry, you've been nothing but nice to me and I keep snapping at you, I-I don't know what's going on.
-You're freaked out, it's normal. I don't blame you. I'll help you, send me the wanted poster you got. Maybe it's fake."
Of course, you tell him. You'd do pretty much anything to get out of this situation. You want it to be fake, but there's just an accumulation of bad things that tend to make you believe it's true. Looking around you, you notice to be on the last floor of the building. Flattening the paper sheet back, trying to erase all the creases, you lay it on the dirty floor of the hallways. You tear your phone away from your ear for a simple moment to take the picture. You press send.
You wait impatiently for him to say something, anything. But his reaction is clearly not the one you were waiting for:
-Oh fuck.
-What ? you panic, feeling your heart rises in your throat. What do you mean 'oh fuck' ? Sean ?" But the nauseating ringing of the call being cut short echoes in your ear.
He hung up.
You bite your lip, shutting your eyes as hard as you can. Your fingers find your closed lid, pressing on it as if calming an upcoming headache. What the fuck is going on exactly ? Why did he hang up ? Did you say something ? Did he see something ? You can't keep doing that, nobody answered any of your questions since this morning. You are tired.
You give up. You'll go back home, sleep a little. Research a job in the newspaper and hope for things to get better. Sighing, you walk the stairs once again, only this time to really move on.
Has everyone given up on you ? It feels like it, no one seems akin to want to help you. You never did any wrong to anyone. You always hold the door open to people, you give the few you have to homeless people in the streets. You payed what an old woman lacked in money for her groceries. You work everyday of the damn week, with no holidays.
What have you done ?
Sure, you're starting to break down, you told Tony to kill himself, you yelled at Sean. What the hell ? Never would you have done that in your life. What's happening ? It's getting scary out there, yet, no one's here for you to confide in.
You never should have left your hometown, you punished yourself.
The first thing you do once inside your home is falling head first on the couch. Feeling tears filling up your eyes. You don't fight them, letting them slide freely along your cheeks. After all, it's the good part of having a place to yourself, you get to cry alone in the safety of it.
You'll have to give it up, though. Without necessary money, you'll eventually need to move. Probably find a roommate and live in a red light district.
You spent the next hours trying to read classified ads, key word being 'trying' as your watery eyes didn't allow you to see much. And you ended up watching TV, like you always do. You couldn't fathom the idea of being that alone. When did it all go wrong ? Are you a horrible person ?
The news-woman kept talking and talking without stopping, saying the same things as yesterday and probably tomorrow as well. Inflation, criminality, inflation, criminality. Where were you in all of this ? What about the population ? Where were the solutions ? Is this city really stuck in a loop of chaos ?
The screen now displays a cop in a police station, sharing his feeling and impression about the improvement of the city. You don't listen to him, more struck by what's behind him: a poster on a cork board. Yours. It's your face, with the price, 'treason' shit and everything. The exact same poster you had in your mailbox. The situation is that bad, huh ? Your wanted poster is right next to The Joker one. Is there a link ? Are they hoping to find him after finding you ? They're wrong, then.
You wait, impatiently trying to decipher whether the policeman will talk about you or not. But he does not, so you lay back down on the couch. How does wanted people live freely ? You've been researched for a few hours and you're already going crazy with the feeling everyone's watching you.
Do you even know a criminal in this town ? Well, the only one you do know is Sean. You briefly meet them at the bar, as part of your job. Befriending them is not for you though, so you have no useful information to give the Joker. Then what does he want ?
The doorbell rings through the flat, screaming at you to get up and do something with your life. A chill run through your body, breath stopping for a second out of fear to be heard. For a while, you don't move. Who could it be anyway ? Surely bad news. Now that you're wanted, it could be anyone. But the rings echoes again, forcing you to get up. Slowly and as quietly as possible, you slide to the door. Eye staring through the peephole, you're surprised to discover Sean standing anxiously outside.
How did he get your address ?
Opening the different locks on your door, you however keep the small chain closing it. It wasn't much of a protection to be honest, but you needed to lie to yourself a little bit.
"You hung up on me. Is the only thing you say when your eyes meet.
-I know, I'm really sorry. Are you okay ?
-How did you get my address ? It's weird.
He explains to you how your information are given on your work file. You stand inside, judging him from head to toe. He welcomed you at his place, you have to be polite or you'll really look like an opportunistic. But it's hard when you don't know his exact thoughts.
-Why did you hang up ?
-I talked to my uncle, he has a bar in the center of Gotham. Every criminal goes there, he knows everything.
-And ?
-You're safe, it's false. You're not wanted. He... He didn't see your poster. So it was a bad joke. Silence, you don't believe him. I promise. You're not in danger.
Then why is your face plastered in all Gotham ? Is he completely sure about that information ? You hate to act this way but, it's too late for him to tell you that anyway. False or not, the poster of your head is everywhere. People will try to find you. The veracity of it all doesn't matter anymore.
Though you can't shake that uneasy feeling inside you alerting you of his lie. You saw your face on TV, in a police station. It's not nothing !
-How are you so sure ?
-I told you, you have nothing that could interest such a dangerous man as the Joker.
He's right, on the other hand, something's definitely wrong.
-What do we do, now ?
-You could let me in ? I want to help you but we can't talk if I stay outside.
Halfheartedly, you let him in. He thanks you, admires a few seconds his surroundings before plopping down on the couch. You stay standing even after closing the door shut, crossing your arms on your chest and awaiting his arguments.
Should you tell him you saw your face in a police station ? No, you need to know what he's going to tell you. He's lying, you know it now. But why ?
You thought he could be a friend, turn out you can't trust him that much. Or are you losing it ? Policemen are quite dumb here, they are completely capable of believing everything they see and considering they're desperate to catch the Joker; they could have took your poster as a track.
-What's your plan ? you ask.
-It depends on what you want.
Well, you want a lot of different things. Money, happiness, freedom, family, equality, peace. Right now though, one will be enough.
-I need a job, I can't pay my rent this month otherwise.
-That one's easy. He crosses his arms on his chest, sinking into the sofa cushions. Try ask your bank, they'll lend you some.
-No they won't Sean, I'm indebted. Seriously, did he really think life was this easy ? Did he really think you haven't thought of doing just that ?
He sighs and shrug, crossing his legs, he put his feet on the table. Your eyes are enough to tell him to put them back on the ground. He's a little bit too comfortable for your liking.
-It's these immigrants my friend. We lack money because of them.
What ?
-No, it's just poor distribution of resources. With the ongoing inflation and such, it has literally nothing to do with immigration. You frown, confusion lacing your tone, answering him as if asking a question, because what ? That was so out of pocket ? It's stupid to think like that, it's too easy to accuse others. They're as fucked as we are, you know ? Don't say that.
That's what Gotham thinks ? That each one of their problem is caused by others ? Industries, Government, Politics, they're the one causing all of this. How does someone get to this conclusion ? You thought Sean was good, hell, his family was poor. They survived thanks to drugs and banditry. He's bold to think immigrants are the problem: His family literally embezzles money.
-Jeez, calm down.
Well, it's difficult to be calm towards this kind of stupidity. But at least it keeps you in check, you know who he's voting for. Never trust anyone. It's true you don't know him that well, after all.
-You want my help or not ?
It's harder to see him in the same light as before after this, but if he's the only one willing to help, you can't waste this chance.
-Yeah. You sigh, ashamed with yourself. I need people to forget about me.
-Good, meet me at the back of the bar at the end of our shift. He's not waiting for an answer as he gets up to leave.
-Wow. No ?
He stops in his tracks as you block his way.
-What do you mean, 'no' ?
Is he serious ? With everything you risk ? Criminals at the bar know you, hell, some of them see you every night. No, you are not joining him in the dark in a creepy alley late at night when people want you dead. Also, you need to think a little before jumping straight back to work, it's dangerous.
-Because I don't want to die ?" You need to tell him. "Okay, Sean, I may not understand everything but I know you're lying to me. Am I wanted or not ?
He already lost every ounce of respect you had for him. First with the lying, then with the whole immigrants things.
-You don't believe me ? Is he trying to make you feel guilty ?
-I saw my fucking head on the TV. I believe that's enough proof for me. You cut the conversation straight, not wanting him to keep lengthening things uselessly.
Sean doesn't answer, seemingly hesitating. What is he thinking ? He has to respond. He's constantly trying to avoid the subject and it's getting frustrating.
-That means I'm in danger, right ?
-Yes." he finally answers. Thank God, you think, God why, you also think. "But not because of the Joker. He's not responsible for what's happening to you. All the cards and riddles are from him, yes, but someone saw you two talking at the bar and thought they could get to him by killing you.
You entirely stopped trusting him after he mentioned the cards and the riddles. Because never, in all your discussions, have you mentioned receiving these. He knows too much.
You don't bring it up, of course.
-Explain.
Who could have told him about the riddles, if not you ? The one sending them ? Yes, but Sean's terrified of him. Plus, he couldn't talk to him, even if he had the courage to. It's the Joker, from what you understand, you don't approach him easily. He's not the small local criminal. He's something more.
-The Joker's well known. Everyone wants to defy him. And someone saw you.
-Who ? you ask, finally getting some well deserved qualitative answers.
-His name was, uh, Korej I believe.
-Ko...Rej... you repeat, unimpressed, frowning.
Is it you or does it sound vaguely similar to Joker, but with the letters all mixed up ?
-It's his pseudonym." He hastily answers. "But his real name is John, he lives in the richest part of Gotham. He's a mob leader. He fucking despises the Joker, that's why his name is Kojer.
-Korej, you corrected.
-Yeah, it's difficult to remember. It's quite the shitty name.
He really think you're dumb, right ? You clasp your hands together, catching his drifting attention.
-Okay, well, thank you for everything Sean. It was a pleasure, truly. But now I'm gonna ask you to leave.
-You don't believe me ?
No, no you don't. Everything he ever said to you since he first came here was either weird or false. And sometimes weirdly false.
-Please, leave my house.
You'll go to the nearest police station, ask for help. And if nobody helps you, you'll find a way out of here. This city is dead anyway, there's nothing for you anymore. It's too late.
-Don't you want to talk about it ? he asks hurriedly, displaying his open hands in the air as if ready to grab your shoulders.
-If you want us to talk, okay, you yield. But choose somewhere safe, with a lot of people. I am not joining you at the back of the bar at night where everyone could kill me.
You're going crazy. Why are you even accepting this ? It's not a dream, nor a joke, you really are wanted. People want to kill you. There is money on your head. Sean is deep in thoughts before getting the enlightenment he needed, suddenly vigorously saying:
-Shopping center.
-What ?
-Let's meet at the shopping center, in two hours. I have things to prepare, people to call. You have my number, I'll call you. Is it good for you ?
His behaviour is screaming danger, on the other hand, a rendez-vous in a crowded shopping center at 3PM is not as risky as the bar. And if things turn bad, you still have a chance to run away, hidden in the mass. You hope the things he'll prepare will help you, and not worsen everything.
"Okay. You yield, once again.
-Thank you so much, he exclaimed." Why is he thanking you ? "You're a real sweetheart. It will be worth it."
And with these last words, he left.
You won't go. Of course you won't go damn, you don't want to die. He's so suspicious ! Why so much relief ? He's the one supposed to help you, you're not doing anything for him. You absolutely changed your mind. Yesterday, he was that nice man who saved your life, welcoming you home warmly. Today, he's, well, you don't know who he is anymore. You want to understand, discover what's wrong, but at the same time, it's not yours to do.
Fuck, you need to empty your mind. It's tiring, to be suspicious of everyone, to always have to thoroughly think about everything you do. You plop down on your couch, grabbing the remote and turning the TV on. There's a cartoon going on. Tom and Jerry, a cat chasing, or at least trying to, a mouse. But the mouse's well smarter than the cat.
Each time he thinks he'll catch it, the mouse finds a way to turn the situation to his advantage. Because in fact, the cat will never win. He has the illusion of strength because of his height, when the mouse is vicious, malign.
Also, if the cat caught the mouse, well, the show wouldn't have any interest anymore.
On the screen, the mouse finds a way to slam the door in the cat face, who's dizzy. To illustrate it, stars and birds are rotating around his head.
You don't know why the mouse does all this, maybe to survive. The small animal found the comfort of a warm house with good cheese and doesn't want to leave. The cat, however, is forced to chase it all day. As his owners force him to. It's his role, as the house guard, to chase rodents. Otherwise, he'll be replaced.
You have to be really damn fucked for you to start analyzing a stupid cartoon.
Jeez, it's a cat chasing a mouse, it's silly, it's fun to watch. You don't think, just turn off your brain and have fun. Why can't you do just that ?
Sighing, you change channel, trying to find something worth watching. You end up watching the news, it keeping you grounded. It helps you think you're not the worst case, that there's always worse somewhere. It's deeply selfish, but hey, you can't do much about it. Your life is pretty much ruined at the moment.
What's today's problem? Well this time, the subject is centered around climate change and its catastrophes.
"Global warming. Today, in Spain, alarming news. The national temperature has increased considerably by 46°F (5°C) since last year. The Spanish are revolted, the world is encountering a record in warmth. Their main claim, she reads her notes, "It's summer's weather when we're in autumn." She briefly gulps her saliva. "Indeed, the local heat reached 86°F (30°C) while 73°F (23°C) at night. IPCC's report is alarming, something has to change. Is the world government going to act ?" She quits her serious tone and changes the subject. "Local news; what's happening in Gotham today ?"
Ah, here you go. You turn up the volume.
"Earlier in the main avenue today, several store signs were vandalized by a group of masked men, it is thought to be perpetrated by an illegal organization. It's a real raid that happened, terrorizing the passers-by and owners. The identity of the delinquent stays unfounded. We know that the police department is currently working on..."
You mute the TV. Vandalizing stores, now ? They didn't even steal anything, who does that ? On the screen, a replay of surveillance cameras showing masked men running, pushing people and only stopping to draw weird shapes on a few of the stores. It's bad, but not quite as bad as your case. Putting the sound back, you're perfectly timed with the conclusion of the event.
"Where is Batman ? Has the vigilante abandoned our city ? We hope for his prompt return in time for him to apprehend the Joker."
Batman, right. You forgot that man was even existing. While some wonder who is hiding behind the mask, you're left questioning yourself on which side is he. If he's with the cops, is he a good or bad man ? Police is part of the problem, certainly. But Batman sometimes helps people, although you never encountered him yourself. But is he really with the police ?
Who is he working with ? And why is he what he is ?
"Whatever... You rub your eyes."
Why do you even keep thinking about that, it's not your problem anymore. You're leaving. Gotham has nothing left for you. Batman can do whatever he wants, for all you care. He doesn't know about your insignificant existence, why waste it thinking of him ?
But are you really leaving this place, though ?
Are you really about to leave your life and flee like a coward ? Yes, is the obvious answer. You could think about it, is the less obvious answer.
Yes, your life is at stake. On the other hand, Sean could really be useful as you're still in danger as long as you stay in Gotham, he's a considerable ally in this story. And not only Sean but his family as well could help you.
You know about his aunt. That woman is quite well known. A powerful gang chief. You could pay her to get escorted outside of Gotham. You're already indebted anyway, you have nothing to lose anymore. Moreover, nothing guarantees your safety once outside of Gotham. If the Joker is as feared as shown in the media, changing city won't be enough. Which is why you need to clear the problem directly from the root.
Okay, you won't lose anything in going, right ? Maybe your life, but it's worth a try. You'll join Sean. Yes, you'll join him.
When the time arrived, you couldn't shake that uneasy feeling taunting you all while preparing yourself. What if someone chases after you ? What if you get kidnapped ? You won't, of course you won't. Sean will be there when you arrive. He's dissuading enough. He's a big man.
You found yourself before the gigantic mall before even being able to process it. It was crowded, people entering and getting out every second. For a moment, your eyes search for Sean in the rabble only to find no one. He's probably inside, it's safer.
Tightly holding the hood stuck on your head, you stare intensely at whoever crosses your path, trying to gain enough courage to finally enter the building.
It's scary to be wanted, the displeasing impression everyone's looking at you is suffocating. You could get killed, right now. Abducted, even.
When the automated doors open, you're greeted by the cold air conditioning. It's autumn, why the hell would someone want to freeze to death ?
Checking your phone, there's still no sign of Sean. He couldn't possibly stand you up, right ? He's the one who insisted for you to come. It wouldn't be logical. He's just late.
You can't really afford to be waiting in your situation, every second matters. You don't know what will happen. And, yeah, you're kind of starting to freak out. You don’t know where your wanted poster ended up. Maybe you’re already dead, and, shit, you're alone in such a vulnerable position. Fuck, why did you come ?
You’re trying to stay rational, thinking of every possibility as to why he’s not here. You nod your head to yourself, trying to ease your nerves. He'll come. You just need a little patience. He said he needed to prepare things beforehand, that's why he's late. He's late because he'll help you.
You miss the mall, it's been long since you last came here, too preoccupied with your two jobs. You used to like watching people but quickly stopped. First, you once or twice made an awkwardly long eye contact with a man who then wanted to beat you up for provoking him, "like a pussy". Then, the second reason is that people are just... Mean. You'd look at a pretty woman only for her to spit on the ground. In the street is already disgusting enough, but the mall ! You'll look at a man hugging a woman, just to realize that they both don't know each other and that he's drunk out of his mind.
Maybe you do need to get out of here, actually.
Your phone still hasn't buzzed, you need to do something with your body or you’ll go crazy. It’s obvious staring daggers at your device every second won’t help. He's not here yet, you need to accept it and wait. You'll walk a little to not get noticed, your tensed and motionless body language is screaming suspicious and people are starting to side eye you.
It’s only natural of your legs to start bringing you to the places you used to go to, only to realize that one of your favorite stores closed permanently. Of course, with the crisis. It’s not surprising.
"Fucking morons..." Mutters a man to your left. Upon looking in his direction, you meet the owner of the voice standing on a stepladder, trying to energetically scrub with a sponge his store's sign. Key word being 'trying' as it's not successful.
Right, earlier's vandals.
He's cursing to himself, scrubbing progressively more aggressively the almost intact big black 'O' tagged on the sign mocking him.
"Can I know who did that? asked your curiosity.
-Fucking assholes, he answers without even looking your way, that's who did that.
-What do they looked like ?
-No idea, he grumbles. They all had that stupid mask on. All white with some blue and red. No idea what that was supposed to be. Ask the other owners if you're so interested, but you're late. Journalists already left.
Oh, right. He thinks you’re a journalist.
-Thank you, have a nice day sir.
-Yeah yeah…”
You heard several stores were vandalized, where are the others ? Letting your legs wander, you get your answer a few meters/feet away. A sign is hanging by an electric thread.
It’s a shoe store, but its signboard was now displaying a big black 'O'. You lift a brow, confused about its meaning. Usually, tag either insults or convey a message. Anyhow, there's a sense. Now though, you can't quite pinpoint it. O, what starts with an O. Optimism, oppression, obedient omelette ? It can be anything. Maybe it's not a letter, but a signature?
Two stores away (you see it out of the corner of your eye) another of these is vandalized, this time, a bold 'B' was written. What word could this correspond to? B for Batman ? It's not a word, mostly a name. Baby, maybe. Bomb, bag, anything. Hell, it could even be badminton for all you know.
Next letter is directly after the previous one, a 'S' hiding the dress logo the sign was exhibiting prior. The paint is dripping a little and one or two drops can be seen on the ground.
"Those damn scum." a man grumbles, who you think might be the owner of the poor store. He crosses his arms on his chest, looking up disapprovingly.
You ignore him, now thrilled by all of this. You want to discover all the tags. It's not like you have much better to do anyway. Sean still hasn't answered you. You know what to do to wait: find words for each letter. S makes you think of sabotage, skull and soup.
You see the next letter from afar, this time, an "E" welcomes you. Though, this one was partially erased. You guess the owner found the right product. It's now possible to read the sign and enjoy the sweet sight of what seems to be a sex shop sign. Is it even legal ? There's kids coming into this mall. Anyway, a lot of words start with E; Electric, Ebola, education, eagle.
You don't find the next letter right away, needing to walk a little to find it. But when you do, you're weirdly excited. It's just a bunch of words on some signboards, yet, it's fun. Like an orienteering race. But mostly because you don't get to have much fun today, and this being out of your quotidian, it's easy to be ecstatic.
Further away, it's not one but two letters that greets you; two "S", entwined like snakes. Shit, is it a nazi kind of tag ? It looks like the police's symbol there was back then. If that’s the case, you don’t find this as exciting as before. Not a good thing to write. There's already so much chaos here, you pray nazis are not going to be added to it. You think of the word 'Swiss' for this letter.
Next letter is an 'I'. Investigation, investment, ice. A woman bypasses you, hitting your shoulder with her. You squeal out of surprise, the woman doesn't even notice you. What a shitty town. You check your phone again, making sure Sean didn't try to contact you. No reply.
Walking ahead, the next vandalized store needs you to turn to the left to be seen, it's an 'O', again. But you don’t have the time to think of words that you already see the next letter. It’s a ‘N’. Night, Nemo (as in the movie) and nuisance. You already found words starting with ‘O’ anyway. It seems to be the last one as you walk and turn but no others appear. Disappointment lingers, sad it ended so soon.
What is it, does it form a word at the end ? Like street art ? Maybe, a shame you already forgot all the previous letters. It was fun, though. You'd do it again, it's entertaining. Like a track game where you follow a path. Vibrations are bringing you back to reality, rushing to take it, you rotate to leave the place in order to find somewhere calmer. In your haste, you bump straight into someone. You freeze for a second, phone in hand.
They’re wearing a mask, a clown mask on their black hair. And a really ugly one. It’s shiny, like plastic and it surely is. Their eyes are the only thing you see through the holes. Whoever that is is staring right into your damn soul. Their eyes are empty, so empty you might think they’re on some kind of drug. The big red nose in the middle of their face is mocking you, laughing at you to be scared of something so ridiculous. Two small tufts of green hair are standing on each side of his head, the false bloody teeth drawn on the mask is the final touch that tells you to leave.
“Sorry.” you mumble, avoiding eye contact.
Your hands are holding your phone so tightly that fear strikes you that you could actually break the screen. The clown does not move when you walk past him, and you realize right then and there that they were well too close to you for it to be normal. You hate clowns, you hate them so much. All of this because of that stupid Joker. That person probably wasn’t even related to him, maybe he was one of the vandals. You don’t know, you don’t want to.
When you pick up Sean’s call, he apologizes for being late and plans an area for you to meet. You’re before the sex shope tagged by the “E” by the time Sean joins you. You’re not as convinced as before to destroy the problem from its root after the clown encounter. You’re not a hero, not a criminal. You’re nothing, you don’t have anything to prove to anybody. You should leave.
“You okay ? You look like you saw a ghost ? He laughs, but he’s not your friend so you don’t.
-So ? Got out much more coldly than you intended it to be.
-Jeez, you’re impatient. I’ll help you, I told you I would, right ?
You did, doesn’t mean you really will. You cross your arms on your chest, approaching him for him to hear you more clearly.
-Do you have any information ? Ways to get me out of here ? To resolve this ? Anything ?
He sighs, stepping back as if you’re the plague and looking elsewhere in the crowd. He seems conflicted, forehead creased by his worry.
-I can’t tell you now, walls have ears.
-Then why the fuck would you tell me to join you here ? If you’re so scared to be spied on, we could have continued this discussion at my place.
Your tension is building up. It’s fucking frustrating to talk with him. He starts teasing you with interesting information, then, he retreats and acts as if nothing happened and you’re just impatient. He told you to come here, he told you he’d help you.
-At least answer my questions, you plead, I don’t even know who… Who is the Joker ? Who is he exactly ? He physically tensed, his shoulders literally hunched forwards. What the hell ?
-Well, uh, it's complicated.
Damn, even that couldn’t be answered. Why are you still here ?
-What do you mean it's complicated ? Is he a terrorist ? A thief ? A gang leader ? A serial killer ? It's a simple question.
-He's a little bit of everything, truly.
Why does he always seem so nervous talking about him ?
-Sean for the love of God, he’s not here ! people are starting to look in your direction, but you couldn’t care less. You can calm down, he won’t kill you ! You gotta breathe a little, man. Aren’t you the one who literally told me he wasn’t after me ? It’s not the first time you’re lying to me and I’m starting to lose it. Why am I here ? Tell me, why are we fucking here if you’re not gonna help me ! Who is this man and what does he want ? Why does he want to kill me ! It’s…” a gunshot whistles in the air, cutting you in your sentence straight away, screams erupting from all sides.
Your body acts before you can think, throwing yourself on the ground. It’s hard to understand what’s going on, but in a way, you don’t try to. You get up quickly and lose yourself in the running and yelling crowd. Your paranoia is not helping, was this gunshot aimed at you ? Sean is somewhere in the mall, but it’s too late. You gave him a chance, he wasted it.
Another gunshot echoes, followed closely by the sound of a glass breaking. Your senses are overwhelmed; names, insults, orders are being yelled. Is the Joker here ? You need to get out of here, now. Bodies are pushed against yours, your clothes are being tugged on. But when you were about to reach the exit, someone harshly grabs you out of the crowd, pulling you aside. It’s panic in your head, survival instinct kicking in. You yank your arm out of the person’s hold but freeze upon seeing Sean threaten you with a gun.
“Sean, you start with a shaky voice, what the fuck ? his eyes are cold, you don’t recognize him. He looks at you as if you're nothing, as if you're no one.
-He’s here, he states, looking paranoidly to the sides. He’s… He’s going to kill me if I don’t bring you to him.
-Bring me to who, Sean ? But you fear you might already know.
-The Joker.
Of course he’d betray you. Who are you kidding ? You knew, you knew he would trap you. Your eyes can’t leave the sight of the gun barrel, following each of its movements. He’s shaking, you realize. Is he scared, hesitating ? Or motivated by a hatred so pure he can’t even control his own feelings ?
-Sean, you try nonetheless, he’ll kill you either way okay ? He’s a sadist, we can… you gulp, throat suddenly burning dry. We can leave together, we’ll leave the city and…
-You don’t understand, do you ? He’ll track you, he’ll track us down. And then, he’ll slaughter us like pigs. You hear me ? He’ll slaught…
-I get it ! I get it ! you scream, shutting your eyes in order to erase those images from your head.
How can you even change his mind ? You doubt he’d fold with some speech about your friendship. It’s not like you two were that close to be honest. Sure, you liked him but that changed since the beginning of the Joker catastrophe.
-He promised me money, he explained himself. As if you’d forgive him after hearing his justification. A lot of money. You can’t understand what it’s like to… when you see him lower his weapon, you interrupt him, drived by your anger.
-How can you be so stupid ? He was, he truly was an idiot for believing the Joker. You haven’t known that beast for long, but each time someone defined him, it was always along the lines of wicked, treacherous, vicious and ruthless. So yeah, he was stupid. Was your life worth something as insignificant as money ? Has he ever liked you ?
-Shut up ! I’m done living like a fucking tramp !
Tramp is a big word coming from him, daddy pays him everything ! You’re tired of his tantrums, he is a grown man, ten or fifteen years older than you and he’s acting like a child. Suffering is your quotidian as well, but you would’ve never betrayed him. In fact, that is your problem. You’re not a scumbag like him, that’s why you can’t stand him. You have no value similar to his, if he even has some. By what right does he think he can use you to get, what, a few dirty money ?
If you're going to die, at least you'll die telling him every resentment you had towards him.
-You think I am happy ?! Your life’s better than mine ! Fuck you Sean, you’re an asshole ! You’re a fucking asshole ! You’re the one that should die !
-Shut the fuck up you whore !
A burning pain sliced through you along a sharp sound, legs losing all strength and making you fall on the ground. Your ears are ringing and your breath is cut for a few long seconds. What happened ? Is the first question popping in your head, but the atrocious pain coursing through your leg answers you. Your hand touches your hurting limb, but retreats it instantly at the pain. So you look down.
Blood, there’s blood everywhere.
It’s yours. It’s… It’s your damn blood, you’re bleeding. You have a hole in your leg and it’s gushing out blood. He shot you. Fuck, oh God, oh God, you’re bleeding. You’re fucking bleeding and it hurt like hell. It hurt so damn bad, why, why did he do that ? Your eyes are stinging and soon, tears fall down your cheeks. Are you going to die ? Here ? With nothing accomplished ? Alone ? Shot by the only man you thought was your friend ?
-I believe alive was written on the contract.
You recognize that voice, you hear it in your nightmares.
-Joker ! I… She tried to run away, I had to immobilize her !
It’s weird, your body is exhausted, yet, the pain is keeping you well awake. Your head is heavy when you lay it on the dirty ground of the mall. Eyes trailing slowly to the two men talking. Finally, he’s here before you. He’s shown himself. Even if it’s only the second time you see him, you talked and heard about him so much these past hours it feels like you’ve been with him for months. And maybe you were, in a way. Sean walks past you, not glancing towards your drained body on the ground. He’s scared of him. He plays the big man with you, but he’s a little bitch.
How is Sean, a man built like a fridge, so terrified of someone so ridiculous as the Joker ?
Who is he ?
The pain in your leg makes it feel numb and at the same as alive as it never been. The Joker sighs exaggeratedly, he tilts his head to the side to look at you. Shivers shake your whole body. Is that it ? This is the man who’ll abduct you ? You’d rather get killed instantly.
-And right on Valentine’s day...” mumbles the Joker.
It’s not, it’s autumn. Valentine’s day is in February, in winter. From your position, police sirens are heard and red and blue lights are flashing, reflecting on the windows. The Joker takes out a gun out of his long purple jacket and aims it towards Sean.
“Please ! He yells. I-I did what you wanted ! She’s here, please don’t kill me ! I’m a hitman, I’ll work for you !
Is he, now ? He's barely a barman.
-Do I look like I'm searching for employees ? He asks, opening his arms and bending his hands for his palms to face the ceiling before looking around him for confirmation. Because I’m not.”
You're torn between relief and horror at the sight of Sean falling to the ground after another gunshot, bathing in his own blood. He did betray you, he brought you here, he brought this upon you, upon himself. But he’s dead. You wished him to, but now that he is you’re horrified.
It’s then that you realize that The Joker is surrounded by his masked goons. Probably the one who vandalized the store, now that you think about it. You walked right into his trap.
“Well ? What are you waiting for ? he asks almost comically. Bring the package to the car !
When several men surrounds you, you're left yelling and fighting to get out of their holds, in vain, of course. The blood gushing out of your hurting limb isn't helping much, anyway. You feel your strength slowly evaporate from you.
Shotguns echoes, but your ringing ears prevent you to precisely locate it. Soon, they throw you in the back of a car and close the door, leaving you in the dark.
Gotham killed you.
#heath ledger joker#Joker#ledger joker x reader#ledger joker#heath ledger joker x reader#the dark knight#vitzi9writings#i am losing it
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You were bigger than the whole sky
Summary: Medusa and her WSO Clover were supposed to win Top Gun but an incident with Phoenix and then Hangman causes one of them to lose each other.
Warnings: angst, Phoenix isn't the nicest in this one (I'm sorry I do love her!) - Callsign: Medusa
Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 (taglist is open for every fandom)
Top Gun, it was supposed to be the greatest time of your life and yet here you were, shock shelled in your F-18.
Clover, your WSO seemed to be as much in shock as you were as neither of you spoke, the only thing you were feeling was anger and betrayal and it was slowly coming up.
���Lieutenant Clover and Medusa you need to come back.”, the voice repeats and this time you feel Clover’s hand on your shoulder, trying to give you some support.
Flying back to the base was like a haze, the anger coming up and it was like it was taking you over as you landed the F-18 and got out, trying to find Phoenix in blind fury.
“You!”, you screamed over the deck, and you could see Phoenix turning around a frightened look in her eyes as she saw you coming towards her.
“Medusa lets calm down.”, she says cautiously, and you let out a scoff.
“Calm down?! You somehow managed to make a certain maneuver that you have never done or seen in your life before, one that I have done one time and you weren’t there.”, you can’t help but yell, your Captain arrives and you see your father following him, the flyboys behind him.
“Lieutenants what is happening here?”, you hear your Captain ask and you raise your eyebrows at Phoenix, wanting her to explain herself.
“Medusa seems to be mad at the maneuver that I did in the air.”, you scoff in answer and your Captain turns towards you.
“It was one that Clover and I invented at the Academy, and we have never done it since then, but by some chance we were going to do it today. Who ended up doing it? Phoenix!”, you say, and your Captain looks conflicted.
“I’m sure this is all a misunderstanding.”, you hear your father say and you turn around to see Maverick coming in front of Phoenix like he is trying to shield her.
You can’t help the feeling of betrayal coming up at the sight of him protecting her, and not coming to back you up, after all he had helped you with the technicalities of the move.
“Wait.”, you say barely audibly, and you feel Clover putting a hand on your shoulder.
“The only two persons who knew about this were Clover and you. And I know that Clover wouldn’t have told Phoenix so it can only be you, right?”, your father takes a deep breath, and you shake your head in disbelief.
“Let’s not make assumptions when we don’t know what happened. I’m sure that Lieutenant Trace did the move and didn’t intend to make it look like yours.”, you scoff in answer a cold laugh following it. You look around and see your boyfriend, Rooster who is looking at you with sad eyes, and he slowly shakes his head making the feeling of betrayal sting even more.
“Lieutenant what you are accusing her of is something quite serious, and we don’t have proof that you are the one to have founded that move.”, the captain says carefully, and you feel frustration coming up at the words.
“Respectfully sir, why would we lie?”, Clover asks, her voice hard and you feel her hand squeezing you shoulder, she is the only one behind you, everyone else seemingly siding with Phoenix.
“Just think this through, I wouldn’t want this to just be a petty fight for the trophy.”, he says, and you feel sick at the words, like you would do this just to get some stupid points.
“It could make sense after all you are the two at the top, maybe you are trying to get Phoenix down as she is now first place.”, Hangman says cockily and you want to punch him in his face and as you expect your boyfriend or your father to defend you, there is only Clover talking.
“Shut up dickhead.”, the captain quickly tells her to be respectful, but you ignore all of it to look at Phoenix.
“Look me into the eyes and tell me this is worth it.”, you tell her, and he looks at you with sadness in her eyes.
“Please don’t Medusa.”, she whispers and shakes her head, looking fragile and you scoff as Bradley looks at her conflicted.
“I hope you enjoy it, the trophy.”, you tell her, your voice as cold as your uncle Ice’s.
“Now, there is still a hop left, nothing is done.”, the captain tries to say but you look at Phoenix with disgust.
“I’m done, enjoy it.”, you say as you throw your helmet on the ground, you hear another helmet fall on the ground before Clover is by your side, tense as she follows you.
--
“Can we talk?”, you hear Bradley ask, Clover is glaring at him in front of you and you turn around to see him looking slightly uncomfortable.
“About what?”, you ask him, and he sighs before quickly looking at Clover and sitting down, ignoring her full-on glaring.
“About what happened this afternoon.”, he says slowly, and you scoff in answer.
“What do you want to talk about? The fact that Phoenix acted like a victim when she knew what she did, the fact that my father chose a girl he met seven weeks ago or the fact that my boyfriend didn’t defend me?”, Bradley sighs and rubs his hand over his face, looking tired.
“Phoenix isn’t someone that would do this.”, he whispers softly, like he is talking to a scared animal and Clover scoffs.
“You should get to know your friends more Bradshaw.”, she says coldly and Bradley glares at her.
“And what? I would be the person to lie about something like that?”, you ask him harshly and Bradley closes his eyes, like he is trying to think this through.
“I just mean that these past few weeks have been emotional, your father talking with Phoenix and being close to her could have been too much after all of that.”, you shake your head in disbelief at his answer.
“So you don’t believe me, at all?”, you ask him and Bradley lets out a sigh at your question.
“I’m just saying that there isn’t a right or wrong here, you could’ve talked to her in private instead of going at her.”, you just look at him in the eyes you used to love so much.
“Do you believe me?”, you ask again, and Bradley looks at you with sadness.
“There is no way to prove that move was yours.”, he whispers, and you nod slowly, before turning back to your food.
“Medusa.”, Bradley tries to say but you shake your head.
“Why don’t you go see Phoenix? I’m sure she needs some support.”, you say sarcastically, and Bradley sighs and he tries to come closer to you, but you flinch away, making him look at you with sad brown eyes but you can only look at him with cold eyes.
“We’re done.”, you tell him, and he looks at you like you had just slapped him.
“Common, you can’t just-”, he tries to say, and you shake your head silencing him.
“You could’ve defended me, take my side even if you weren’t sure, instead you stayed there doing nothing. You’ve been defending her since we came here, I haven’t seen you in the last weeks because you were too busy making friends with her. So, go be with her and I hope you will be happy Bradley.”, you tell him, Bradley is looking at your eyes full of hurt but you ignore them as you take your plate and leave, Clover following you behind with a raised middle finger towards Bradley.
“Clover!”, the captain yells through the room.
“Sorry sir.”, she says unapologetic.
--
“I can’t believe we still have to do this; we have enough points to graduate.”, Clover mutters as you go towards your plane for the last hop, and you hum in agreement.
You hear someone yelling your name, but you ignore it, instead trying to step faster and Clover follows your pace.
“Lieutenant Mitchell.”, your father says, and you let out a frustrated sigh because you couldn’t ignore this.
“Sir?”, you ask, trying to mask your emotions. Your father looks tired, and his hair is as wild as it had always been.
“Could we talk?”, he asks softly, and you look at Clover who seems to be trying to look at anything else.
“We haven’t done our pre-flight check-up and we need to go into the air in twenty minutes.”, you explain simply, and he nods, looking slightly frustrated but you don’t let him see anything of your emotions.
“We’ll talk when you come back.”, he tells you and you nod before saluting and leaving to your F-18.
“That went well.”, Clover says sarcastically, and you push her while rolling your eyes, her laugh making you smile.
“Medusa and Clover asking for permission to fly?”, you ask and immediately someone gives you the approval, and before you know it you are back into the air.
“Last dog fight let’s do this without any outbursts this time.”, Hangman snorts at the words and you roll your eyes when your Captain isn’t looking.
The first part of the fight goes well until Hangman leaves you hanging making you curse him.
“Hangman what the hell!”, you yell and after managing to escape your Captain, you find yourself in a position to shoot him down, but Hangman comes between you.
“Hangman! Warn us.”, you hear Clover yell, and you are ready to give him a piece of your mind when you feel your F-18 shudder.
“Shit, we got caught in his jet wash.”, you say, feeling scared as you try to move the joystick but there is no movement.
“Everything is going down.”, you hear Clover say and you feel sick as you start spinning own to the floor.
“Eject Clover!”, you yell, and you don’t have to repeat yourself as she ejects and you wait ten seconds more to make sure she is safely out, hearing your captain yelling to get out and you finally do, feeling a sharp pain in your chest as you do.
The water is by some miracles calm as you come back to the surface, trying to get your breathing back to normal but you aren’t able to, the pain in your stomach making you breathless. You try to feel it and feel a large piece of glass in your chest, you hesitate what to do when you see Clover lying in the water and you take it out to be able to swim easily towards her.
The pain makes you nearly faint, but you bite on your lip and start swimming towards her. She is still breathing but she looks out of it. You try to keep her above water but you feel scared as you see the water turning red, thinking that she had a wound that was bleeding out.
The helicopter arrives and they take her first and as you arrive after her its hell in there, everyone is screaming, you see Clover still lying on the ground looking pale.
“Do you need any help? Because otherwise we are helping her first.”, the nurse says straight to the point and you shake your head and point to your WSO, ignoring the sharp pain in your stomach and the fuzzy feeling that was taking over.
By some miracle Clover wakes up but you don’t have the time to say anything as you arrive on base, they get her out first on shaky legs before turning back to you, but you shake your head. Your hand is still putting pressure on the wound, and you get out of the helicopter, your legs shaking, and the world seems to be turning.
Someone takes you into their arms and you recognize Clover’s perfume that is left, you hold her just as tight with your one arm.
“Are you okay?”, you ask her slowly, black spots appearing in front of you, and she nods slowly.
“I am, thanks to you.”, she says, and you shake your head.
“I’m sorry.”, you tell her, and she looks at you pained, and smiles softly.
“You didn’t do anything, you saved us by thinking quickly.”, she tells you and you nod slowly, you feel your hand on your stomach, it feels like it’s wet and warm and suddenly you realize that the blood in the water was yours.
“I’m sorry.”, you whisper, this time for another reason as before, sorry that you would be leaving her without a pilot, sorry that you would be leaving her.
She looks at you with worried eyes before darkness takes over and you fall to the ground.
--
Medusa is on the ground, she luckily had her in her arms, but now she is lying there looking even paler than she ever did.
“Medical!”, she screams, she screams it until her voice is hoarse. The hand furthest away from her is covered in blood and she sees the tear in her fly suit.
Bradley is by her side as he tries to talk to Medusa, but she knows deep down it isn’t going to change anything.
“Common, you can’t leave right now.”, he says, his voice breaking over the words and she closes her eyes.
“We still need to talk; I was going to beg you on my knees to take me back. I know you deserved better and I’m sorry for how I acted, I’m sorry.”, Bradley says over and over again as he holds her close. Clover moves away as medical arrives, knowing that they wouldn’t be able to take Bradley away as he was getting hysteric.
“Please don’t leave me, I can’t lose you too.”, he whispers, his voice quiet and broken as he cradles her face in his hands, willing her to open her eyes.
“Common sweetheart, wake up.”, she hears Maverick say softly over Bradley’s shoulder and she sees the unshed tears in his eyes and the way he grips his helmet tightly.
She knows deep down that she isn’t coming back, she just lost her pilot and what was like her sister.
“Time of death, 1100.”, the doctor says quietly, and she covers her mouth with her hand, letting out a sob at the words.
“Please, don’t leave me.”, Bradley is still whispering, and Maverick has stumbled back into the arms of the Commander of the Pacific Fleet’s arms, sobbing.
Bradley is still holding her to his chest, and she can see that there is blood on his flight suit, just like there is on hers and she has to try and pull herself together.
“Bradshaw, there is nothing you can do.”, she tells him, and he lets out a sob that seems to wreck his whole body and she feels tears falling down.
“I’m sorry I couldn’t be there for you, and that you felt like I didn’t believe in you. I-I’m sorry that I didn’t show you how much I love you.”, Bradley says, and Clover puts her hand on his shoulder, telling him that the medics are here to take her away.
“I’ll tell everyone about you. Your stories, your life. You will live forever, even when you’re gone. I’ll see you again.”, he whispers softly, tears still rolling down his cheeks as Clover helps him get up and she holds his arm tightly while they put a white cloth on her and salute.
“I’m sorry, it was my fault.”, Hangman says, and Clover turn around to see him shaking, tears falling down as they take her pilot away and Clover can only look at him with tears falling down your eyes.
“You really lived up to the callsign hang-man.”, she whispers viciously, and she sees him flinch at her words, but she doesn’t let him talk before taking a shaking Bradley to the medics, to get him cleaned up.
--
The service is beautiful, of course it is, and she tries to forget the stupid fate of what seems to be the Mitchell fate. Maverick had lost his WSO and now she had lost her pilot, the man himself had given up his wings, left the Navy and now he was standing in tears next to Iceman looking at the casket.
The wings were on the woods, she knows she needs to hit them into the wood, but she just looks at the picture of her pilot, her best friend. After a moment she hits her fist against the wings and closes her eyes.
She had asked Bradley if he wanted to do it, but the man had just shaken his head and continued to look at the picture of her and him. He was now standing with the flag in his hand and Clover knows the man will never be able to forget this.
Everyone leaves and she continues looking at the ground where she is now, someone joins her, and she sees Bradley looking pale.
“She’s really gone.”, he whispers, and she can only nod in response, not able to say something.
“I don’t know how I’m going to go forward now, live without her.”, he whispers, and she looks at him, he is looking at her portrait with teary eyes.
“Day by day, she wouldn’t want us to stay here and cry.”, she tells him, and he nods slowly before taking a deep breath and brushing his tears away.
“Coming for the reception?”, Clover snorts at his words, knowing that it was going to be hell.
“She would’ve hated it, huh?”, they turn around to see Maverick looking at them with sadness in his eyes and Clover nods shily.
“Let’s go get some ice cream and sit on the beach, she would’ve loved that.”, he says softly and Clover nods slowly, looking for the last time at the portrait of her pilot and the sun starts shining at that moment. She can’t help but smile, feeling tears in her eyes but she blinks them away, her pilot was never far away.
--
Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye
You were bigger than the whole sky
You were more than just a short time
And I've got a lot to pine about
I've got a lot to live without
I'm never gonna meet
What could've been, would've been
What should've been you
#top gun x reader#top gun imagine#top gun fanfiction#tom iceman kazansky#rooster fanfic#rooster fanfiction#pete maverick mitchell#natasha phoenix trace#bradley bradshaw x y/n#bradley bradshaw fanfiction#bradley rooster bradshaw#bradley bradshaw#bradley bradshaw x reader
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Adam Taurus was an horrible person.
Might as well say this: I am an cis man and I did not like Adam as an person. At all.
I honestly don’t give a damn about his ‘wasted potential’ as a villain.
He was both an spiteful, arrogant, manipulative leader of an group that turned extremist, thanks to him, and an horrible lover/boyfriend for Blake.
I don’t think he really knew what love is supposed to be either.
And that he let all of his ego, sadism, and racism go to his head as he ‘fights’ for the cause.
Aka, wanting to grab power for his own mission of killing every human and faunus who does not believe in his methods and ulterior motive.
And no.
Just because he had an sad backstory with being oppressed and literally branded with SDC on his eye, it doesn’t excuse everything that he did.
It just does not excuse it.
It is similar to even with the good that Ironwood did, the path of him snapping and was there. And even with that it looked like that he could grasp the whole situation and fully realize the error of his treatment towards Mantle, declaring martial law, training an school full of teens for war basically, all that.
All it took was him caving in by the sight of an Wisp Grimm’s visage of Salem and him getting more and more tunnel vision, trying to fight through Salem, not around it, for him to turn on the very heroes that want to him, even with the sensitive info about why Salem is doing what she does, the Relics, and such.
And that the heroes did not want to sprinkle in some lies to keep Ironwood from having an unpredictable reaction and plan of if he found out.
Also, you want to know why Blake did not end up with Sun?
3 main reasons: Blake wants to face the current state of the White Fang more than falling in love with an man that she sees far more like an brother from another mother than anything.
She made her choice to run to keep Adam away from everyone that she cared about in Beacon, even with that she knew that she made an bad choice.
& lastly, she had Yang in her mind ever since Beacon fell, until she reunited with her team in Haven and tried to mend the team relationship.
And did not run away again.
Back to Adam though.
Adam was not an ‘Beast’ to Blake as an Belle.
He was an god damn Gaston. : P
He was beaten by the 2 people that he tormented.
Especially the one that got her right arm cut off and struggled, but ultimately got up, trained with her dad, went to find her team, including her sister, find her biological mother with her bandit tribe, and realized something while fighting Adam with Blake in Argus.
It might have been like this in her head:
‘...Why was I so afraid of this guy? He is *pathetic*. Yes, he cut off my arm. But... He is just so shitty as a person. And so cheap with his Semblance too.’
Keyword: Might.
So yeah.
Good riddance.
I am glad Adam is dead. : P
And I don’t care for his ‘wasted potential’. He ran his course and ruined himself.
No one else to blame but himself.
-Also, can a big portion of RWBY haters realize that not every villain needs to be 3-4 or more layers deep. As long as they do their role right.
Like an villain making you hate them. If they can do that, they have done their job.
Adam Taurus is one of those.
Though, I am not saying you should hate Adam or like him. More power to you.
I am just explaining my stance on him as an person. Even with that he is fictional.
I know this.
But don’t hate on people who like him or hate him.
This applies to EVERY single RWBY character in the show.
Especially Blake & Yang.
They are together-together now, since V9.
Please get over that, people who are pissed at their very existence.
The RWBY fandom has enough people throwing insults over trivial shit and opinions. While others are just trying to enjoy the franchise.
We don’t need more of that.
And I am not mad at those people as of right now.
I am just disappointed in them.
Moving on to the last point of this post. And then I am done-
To emphasize: He was an true piece of shit. : P Like *God.*
--------------
~The Bat~
#Adam Taurus#Adam is a piece of shit as a person.#RWBY#explaining my stance#blue-scorpion-king#ooc#the bat speaks
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Loser Round 6: Damian Wayne (DC) vs. Mabel Pines (Gravity Falls)
Propaganda below the cut
Damian Wayne (9-14):
Damian is a kid who was raised as an assassin and because of that when he first appears he has some really messed up ideas of how to prove himself to his father by being aggressive with the criminals they capture and attacking his brother. Because of this people act like he is the most evil character ever and refuse to give him any grace. They make him out to be this awful irredeemable monster who just wants to kill his brother and hurt people. If the fandom isn’t making his out to be The Worst(tm) then they are ignoring his existence all-together. He is a really interesting character who has done some not so great things but he’s grown and learned a lot through various character arcs (as much of an arc as a comic book character can have) and he deserves to be acknowledged for himself and not just as a villain so that people can woobify his brother.
——
HES JUST A LITTLE BABY GUY!!!!! Little baby man raised as an assassin and learning how to be a real person <3. But because he was kind of a dick and also a little stabby early-on, especially to the fandom's main "so sad uwu depressed baby" blorbo (and also he's not white), people treat him like he's satan incarnate
Mabel Pines (12):
I literally saw a tiktok today about how Mabel is a bad person. She’s 12! Like yes, she has made some mistakes and bad choices, but so has everyone else. And I never see any of the other characters in the show criticized the way she is. Everyone in the show has made mistakes (Grunkle Stan commits crimes practically every episode ffs) but because Mabel is a 12 year old girl and acts like it, she gets the most hate. Mabel deserves to be loved 🩷
----
girl gets so much flack for being... immature and kind of selfish at age 12? like she had whole video essays made on why she is a horrible person who deserves punishment. god forbid girls be silly
----
!!! Spoilers for Gravity Falls last 5 episodes !!!
This has gone down a lot but when the Weirdmaggedon arc was happening, the finale of the series, a big part of the fandom started hating Mabel because she accidentally caused the Weirdmaggedon (basically an apocalypse + bizarre shit like the water tower becoming an eight-legged monster with a giant mouth).
For context, in the episode that starts this arc, "Dipper and Mabel vs The Future", Mabel is really excited to the end of their summer vacation at Grunkle Stan's house, since it will be her and Dipper's 13th birthday and they will enter high school (her idea of high school of course coming from teen movies). But then this whole idea starts to shatter when Wendy tells her that high school isn't like a Disney musical, but it's okay, she will get through this since she will be with Dipper, her twin brother...
Except, that Dipper receives an invitation by Grunkle Stan's scientist brother Ford to become his apprentice after summer ends, staying in Gravity Falls, without Mabel. When she discovers it, she gets really mad at him and in a fit of rage, she accidentally picks Dipper's bag instead of hers and runs off to the woods.
When she gets there, Blendin, a time-travelling friend of theirs finds her and tells her that he has a way of making her brother stay with her, and make the summer take a little more to end, and that he just needed a little thing that Dipper has in his bag. That thing is a dimensional rift that Dipper and Ford contained to not cause the Weirdmaggedon, but Mabel didn't knew about that and gives it to Blendin. Blendin then breaks it and it's revealed that Bill Cipher was controlling Blendin to get the rift and release the Weirdmaggedon. He then traps Mabel in a bubble, starting the final arc of the series.
So, a few episodes later, that bubble she's in is revealed to be a world of fantasy that she controls, and that she didn't want to leave that world, as she was scared of growing up etc.
Context given, A LOT OF PEOPLE HATED HER FOR THIS. Suddenly people started seeing Mabel as just a selfish girl who wanted things only her way, when she was only a 12-year-old scared of growing up without her twin brother (they do end up going back together at the end but still).
The worst part is that apparently the people behind it took note of this, and on the comics that where released after the finale, she is a selfish spoiled brat. I haven't read the comics though so I'm going off what some people said about it.
#yall hate kids tourney#loser round 6#dc#dc comics#batman#batfamily#dc robin#batman comics#batman and robin#damian wayne#gravity falls#mabel pines
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For the ask game: ❤️💚💙
YAYY thank u sm for the ask! these questions r so fun. I’m going off of the book fandom btw
❤: Which character do you think is the most egregiously mischaracterized by the fandom?
Louis <3 I think this is an affect of how likable and overtly sympathetic he is in the amc show but I've seen people getting genuinely offended over Louis being described in fandom (and by Anne rice herself) as a manipulative cold hearted ass who uses his perceived vulnerability and gentleness to distract from the fact that he is just as cruel if not crueler then the other vampires. Like Louis does nottt have strong morals or high empathy lmao. Book Louis weaponizes his privilege like a white woman crying to self victimize into making the other vampires look worse them him 😭 . He refuses to kill humans for a while not bcus it hurts him to take life (he actually takes more pleasure in it then most), he refuses bcus he has catholic brain the way a christians who say "how do atheists have morals without god?" do, misunderstanding that most people actually care about other people and dont need an existential threat to encourage them not to hurt others.
His moral compass is self centered and based in up keeping the appearance of self restraint and monk style lack of enjoying himself, not empathy. If a vampire killed u would u feel better if u knew he cried over how much he got off on it then flaunted his suffering over how little he indulged so that everyone knew how piosis he was 😭.
He is way worse when it comes to how he treats his victims then Armand who intentionally seeks out victims who r asking to die or Lestat who tries the vigilante approach. Louis kills innocents and he thinks it makes him better cuz he only does it sometimes and he feels really really bad about himself afterwards. As akasha said (paraphrased) he's the most predatory of them all.
To specify I love book Louis SOOOO much I love how shitty he is that's why it makes me sad when people mischaracterize him as sincere and get gen mad when ppl characterize him how he is in canon (a lying selfish bitch bless his heart). Like ik amc Louis at this point in canon is unambiguously in the right but he isn't like an accurate reflection of how he is in the books 😭 it's not like amc did what anne rice was trying to do more successfully, they just nulled what anne rice was doing in favor of a more likable protagonist. Which is fine, but like, there's no crime in preferring evil to the core horrible asshole Louis of the books.
💚: What does everyone else get wrong about your favorite character?
I think the common fandom perception of Armand as the crazy unhinged "omg I can't believe he actually did that in the books??" sadistic maniac villain guy is funny but not really accurate. Armand explicitly not only tries to avoid violence but dislikes it and finds it hard to comprehend why someone would seek out violence and conflict.
The reason he is always doing fucked up shit isn't out of a lestat-esc desire to cause chaos, it's bcus his highly strung ptsd brain has him convinced that the world is a battle ground and he must always be defending himself and acting out in violence.
Since acting out in violence is a reaction hes been taught throughout his life to be standard and necessary, as violence is something so normalized to him he considers it more of a tedious chore then a last resort measure, he usually reacts to conflict in ways that are objectively extreme to anyone who isn't thinking from his perspective. In qotd he even asks Daniel why men choose to fight in wars, explaining that he doesn't understand the draw of violence (bcus he's not a man) and he can't comprehend the supposed thrill of it.
Then he says this in pl to Gregory
💙: Which character is not as hot as everyone else seems to think they are?
i was going to say Marius but I figure that's too obvious since everyone at this point knows I don't like Marius 😭 so here's an even hotter take,,,,, Lestat ‼️
Only to a degree, I think Lestat is hot and deserves the hype, but i also think he's hot in a different way then a chunk of the fandom does. Based on his book description he's kind of wonky looking, mouth too big for his face, vaguely unnerving shallow pale skin, starved 1700s peasant build but also kind of buff in the unhealthy "i dont eat regularly but I'm strong enough to carry a wolf for miles on my back" sense, weirdly small fucking feet. He def has creepy ass florescent blue doll eyes too. my point is I think when drooling over Lestat the fandom tends to forget this wonkiness in favor of blonde bombshell, Sam Reid chizzled jawline and abs, or conventionally beautiful anime twink, when they should be appreciating lestat in all his weird as shit glory.
#Ask game#tvc#the vampire chronicles#vampire chronicles#vc#armand#lestat de lioncourt#iwtv#interview with the vampire#the vampire armand#Prince Lestat#the vampire lestat#louis de pointe du lac
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I'm getting way too much enjoyment watching how some of Helluva Boss fandom is raving over the popular current theory that stolas is going to die in the series.
Because of the Oops episode and how the skull and cross bones in the smoke clock landed on Stolas and other stuff
I.e.
Having imp assasins in LooLoo Land
Stella
Striker
His lullaby saying that when he’s gone Octavia will be ok and that today could be his last (I could go on a whole tangent about that lullaby it's so good)
Western Energy (that's it)
I'm not saying I want stolas to die but am I also saying it would be funny to watch the fandom go up in flames about it?
Well call me Phineas and Ferb because
Yes
yes I am
You can stop reading here if you want. Under the cut I'm just rambling justifying why I think what I think. there are some jokes and lighthearted critiques, but you know... you have the option to look and give your own opinions :)
I mean I have my grievances with him like I've said in my other post (shameless plug Warning I'm very illiterate in case you haven't noticed) but like I don’t wish death upon him I still like Stolas believe it or not
lol.
In fact I hope stolas doesn’t die and mostly I don’t think stolas is going to die at all frankly. I highly dout the writers/viv/whoever is going to actually kill off stolas mostly because like any time stolas is in danger its so underminded like- ok LooLoo land is mostly a joke (good joke too I like the end where Stolas turns the imp guy into stone good pay off), Stella played for laughs beacues shes making the hit right in front stolas and it doesn’t get paid off till the next season which is fine the seasons are short, Western Energy he was fine like an episode later.
If home boy cant be hospitalized for more than one episode he isn't dying
Granted I will allow some leeway as we don’t know how much time has passed since Western Energy to Oops but it- I don’t think stab wounds and broken arms heal that fast regardless of that :/ if I'm being honest especially if it was a holy weapon just saying.
Even if he did die that brings up a lot of questions like what happens to demons when they die? Are all demons immortal and can only die due to physical damage? are Asmodeus and Beelzebub going to outlive Fizz and Vortex if imps and hellhounds/other demons aren't immortal. Were the 7 deathly sins ever babies like everyone else? If demons are immortal and can live forever and the Ars Goitias can only be killed by angelic weapons that are hard to get, I'm assuming, why do, they need to have children or heirs? Why even have children at all? If angelic weapons can kill demons do demonic weapons exist and can they kill angels or other holy beings?
All this and more on You Can't Answer These Questions at 8
Lol
anyways
but in all seriousness
Here’s the real question
If they did actually kill Stolas, will they bring him back?
Riddle me this batman
there's a very the very real outcome of them bringing stolas back through some magical demonic bs anyway so like it really won't matter. They're not going to have Stolas bite the dust permanently and if they are... respect honestly (the balls frankly).
People will cry, I'll laugh because I'm heartless, he’ll be like resurrected or something, and everyone will be happy or mad idk.
Like it's one thing for Millie to get hurt in the other episodes because there wasn’t a major plot point you know? (and she’s not important) There was no lingering scene on it with sad music. In when stolas got hurt it was this big thing and for him to just be like fine an episode later is like what? How are you going to have this big emotional climax with no emotional orgasm (sorry) afterwards. And like no I'm not letting this go what the heck? You had the whole fandom screeching about Blizto going to sloth just to do nothing with it and put a twist about Barbie and then also have stolas be perfectly fine and dandy the next episode afterwards. Are there no stakes in this show? Like I get that Helluva Boss wasn’t planned in the beginning but like come on... When Viv approves of the episodes does she look back at the other episodes? Is she even there? Is she ok? Is she and everyone else seeing a bigger picture that I'm not? Has she sat down and watched Helluva Boss from the very beginning and watched them from episode one to now? I mean really not just a once over to send it off to youtube I mean really took a good and hard look at the episodes? The way they mix episodic, and story is really messing with me I'm going to go back and watch all the episodes from the beginning just to make sure it’s not me.
I like how I said in my tangent about Hell fire (shameless plug part 2) I said I liked the new episode over all give or take some extremally small nitpicks yet here I am complaining :) guess I'm a liar
soo yeah, I really don’t think they're going kill off their golden child, their best boy, their little botanist boo, their dopamine deficient dandy, their booboo bear, their uwu baby boi, their uke wukey cinnamon roll, their twinky little baby owl, their Boo thang, their stary eyed savant, their sad beige gay, their smoopy woopy do, their snoogum-boogums, their skidamarink a dink a dink skidamarink a doo, their-
ok
I'm done
I'm so sorry
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Spider-Band With a S/o Who Hyperfixates on Things Hard
Miles Morales, Hobie Brown, Gwen Stacy, and Pavitr Prabhakar (separate) x Gn!Reader
Warnings: None! (Except my attempt at British talking—)
Summary: Really what the title says—
A/n: This is actually an idea i had when i first fell into the spider verse fandom but didn’t have anyone to talk to about it. Glad ya’ll picked this one! Enjoy!! Also lmk if any of ya’ll wanna be on a tag list!! I know i don’t write all that much but still—
Miles Morales 🌻🎧🌻
Bby is here for it
Always listening to what you have to say and never complaining
I have a feeling he’d be just as excited as you even if he’s got no clue what you’re talking about
He’d try to get into your interests with you no matter how outlandish they may seem
(I mean he’s basically a spider what’s so weird about fnaf lore—)
Definitely draws you things based off of the subject
“You said they were your favorite, right?”
Is always sending you memes and funny videos about your interest
Asks you for updates on your interest if it’s a series
Holds you when something bad happens and you’re sad
“Shh, shh…Hey, at least they existed, right?—Oh, no that made it worse—“
Going back to rambles, he’s always listening but maybe not always looking at you
But trust me
That boy could recite what you say perfectly
He just likes to listen while he works or draws
Has definitely made a mural of you and him in the world together (used it as a date spot. It’s true, he told me)
Overall
20/10 boyfriend
(I mean they all are but like—)
Hobie Brown 🎸⚡️🎸
Will spend hours learning songs related to your interest
But then he’s like
“What? Oh, i been knowin’ this song, luv. What’re ya on about?”
Say for instance, you dive deep into an artist or band
Obviously, Hobie’s gonna ask you about them
But would never ask you for your favorite songs because he’s “Too busy writing his own”
So he just pays really close attention to the songs you talk the most about
(As i previously stated, he learns them all and plays it off)
When you figure it out he’s just like:
“Took ya long enough, luv”
He also listens to your rants about whatever it is (much like Miles and everyone else here but shhh)
But here’s why he stands out
This man can keep up
He can and will remember all about it, and basically know about much as you do
Steals things from stores that are from the series or whatever it is
“Hobie, how’d you get this?” “It was on display and i knew you’d love it.” “Wow! I thought you didn’t buy things from brands..” “…” “You stole it…”
You’re too busy loving whatever it is to stay mad
(But we all knew you weren’t mad)
If you think your interest is cringey then you’re WRONG
“But it’s for kids—“ “And? So what?” “Well…uhm….hm.” “Yeah. Thought so. Now keep goin’, I’m invested.”
(But also in general, bby. Love what you love and come to me if anyone says it “weird” or “cringey”. I’ll beat them up bestie<33)
All in all, a king<33
Gwen Stacy 🩰🥁🩰
I’m gonna be honest
She is lost
Even if you go over things twenty times she still won’t get it
And that’s okay!
She takes notes and tries to keep up
Definitely proud of herself when she gets a detail right
“And then—“ “Wait, wait. Let me guess…He…he burned the pizzeria down, right” “Uhm—yeah, actually!” “*insert proud face*”
(Woah look at the trans flag colors^^^)
Definitely binge watches or reads your interest and learns as much as she can
She keeps a notebook full of her notes that she refers back to whenever you two are on call
She played it off as writing down some notes for school
But one day, she asked you to grab her suit from inside her drum set, and you found the notebook
It caught your eye because it had the name of your interest on it and you were like:
“Hey, Gwen? What’s this?” You showed her the notebook
I wish you could see my vision
When i tell you Gwen stood there for a good minute
I mean she stood there for several
Anywho
She just admitted to it and was all red and fidgety
Since this is her world, she was cast in mostly pink and red hues and the space around her fluttered yellow
You end up going through it with her, and talk about your favorite bits
Overall? She deserves several gold stars and cookies
Pavitr Prabhakar 🍵☀️🍵
Bby is here for it
Whenever you get excited he’s excited
When you’re on the verge of tears he’s already crying
He is your favorite character’s number one supporter
He’s always going on and on with you about your interests
Because unlike the others, he manages to actually get into whatever it is you’re talking about and not just keep up
It’s honestly a skill of his
I feel like Pav also has special interests that he dives deep into
Like
Deep deep
Same as you so you two get along well :D
He’s always looking for the newest content and sending it to you always
“Hey! They said the next episode would be released next Tuesday!! :DDD” “There’s a new theory for the last volume!”
It’d be cute if that’s how you met and became friends
You spend sleepovers diving into your shared and separate interests with eachother
You know what’d be funny?
If he also info dumps onto the villains he fights
Like
Hear me out
Pav tying up a villain who tried to rob a place and just going
“Yeah, so me and my partner have a theory for why—“
And the villain is just like
Stfu??????
But they’d never say that because it’s Spider-Man
All in all, your number one hype man and best friend :]
———————————-
YA’LL I DID IT :DD
#i literally just sat down#opened tumblr#and boom#ya’ll#spider man: across the spider verse#miles morales#hobie brown#across the spiderverse#headcanon#pavitr prabhakar#gwen stacy#gn reader#Love ya’ll<333#spider-man across the spiderverse x reader#miles morales x reader#hobie brown x reader#pavitr prabhakar x reader#gwen stacy x reader
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First thoughts TTPD:
What a lana x folklore girlie win this issss!
1.Fortnight is about matty?? HAHAHAHA also why did this make me think of when holt was going running with the ladies when he was in witness protection??? Crying. Fav line has to be they were supposed to take me away but they forgot to come and get me. So sad but also so cool in relation to her cancellation/return. 10/10
2. TTPD- not so hahahaha anymore IS THIS ACTUALLY A FUCKING MATTY HEALY ALBUM??? There was a typewriter at the 1975 show she performed anti-hero at? Unless its somehow about harry? Who else is tattooed on her roster??? Or is this about herself? Kinda feel like modern idiots/who’s going to decode is directed at us lol😂 9/10?
3.My boy only breaks his favourite toys- went in expecting mad woman rage. Pleasantly surprised. king of my heart to queen of sandcastles he destroys….DESTROYED ME. Are you fucking kidding me rn? Im caling it. Best song. Im crying at 7.30 am this is not funny anymore. Also THANK YOU FOR NOT SLANDERING DAD. I knew you wouldnt let us down like that. Also the chorus sounds like long story short😭 oh this is so sad. Once i fix me hes going to miss me? He was my best friend?😭 he runs because he loves me? Stopp😭😭 1000000/10
4.Down bad- ….aaaand we’re back to MATTY AGAIN? He does not deserve this spotlight but why are all the song so goood😭😭😭 is this why artists love to date problematic men? It unlocks some extraordinary potential? Crazy crazy girl😭 also stay down (bad) 🤌🏾 shes done it again 10/10 also for personal reasons i will be believing this is about joe in that Tom/Joe/met gala overlap period when she was photographed going to the gym a lot and that this is about all that yearning please let it be about that plesplesplesplesplesples also down bad waking up in blood staring at the sky…like i lost a twin is giving bigger than the whole sky🥺
5. So long, london- so so long long, lon-don DONE? ok miss girl😭 the hoax parallels😭 dont be undoing the song i was going to play at my weddddding what is wrong with you😭 my only one my smoking gun to two graves one gun youll find someone??? Also reminds me of la la land :/ how much sad did you think I had in me? You wrote hoax so a lot ok leave us alone. crying again. 10000000000000000/10 oh lol its a track 5 ofc it is😂
6. But daddy I love him- she really said if you ever liked, shared or even LOOKED at the ‘vivaa las vegas’ memes you cant come to the wedding and shes so real for it. Lfgggg. Ubothered unhinged uhmazing. Growing up precocious sometimes means you still hold on to that princess/quarterback wattpad fantasy AS IS YOUR RIGHT QUEEN GO THE FUCK OFF🥳 100000/10 calling out toxic fandom for the first time and we love to see it🫡 this is suchhhh a happy songggg you deserve ALL the chaos and revelry.
7. Fresh out the slammer- god she gets it. Like sure he was great and he is still my biological father and everything but as a decidedly melancholy person myself who has constantly had atleast one close friend in a deep depression I can see how all that heavy lifting can just get heavy at some point especially when youre a partner and their sole lighthouse in wtv storms be out there buffeting their mental health. Its not for everyone and thats so fair and so valid but so sad as well. 10/10 for the honesty.
8. Florida- she really said girlrot summer🫡 this is the lanaest song ever. So lucky one/nothing new coded. This will be the First song I repeat and then so long london. Aaaghhh how i love a self aware melancholic anxious little superstar. 90283749292/10 thank you for giving florence an entire verse whew. Little did you know your home’s really only a town you’re just a guest in is soooo going on my body forever
9. Guilty as sin?- honestly just fuck if it means we dont have to hear about how desirable ratty healy is man ffs. IThe only reason he looks so hot is bc hes forbidden. You have to trust me on this. He’s sooo mid JESUS. U cant be writing hozier lyrics about a man that hasn’t met a shower😭 1000000/10 writing. -16392992/10 content. Unrequited love/lust truly is the greatest weapon in a poets arsenal bc where is this energy in the joe songs binch?😭 this is such a teen in love with a 26 yo creep who called me so mature for my age mom you just dont get ittt anthem😂😂
10. Who’s afraid of little old me?- is a warning 😂 im so here for it. Like yes I still hate matty with all my heart and soul but yes I agree fans should not be allowed so much of an opinion on another persons life and yes I should be afraid (I am). She said aight love letter era over I AM WRITING YOU ALL HATE MAIL AND I’M HAND DELIVERING IT. Shes sooo done pretending to be the relatable girl next door when she’s anything but and is now reminding us of it and yes yes yessss girl OWN ITTTTTTTT. I’ve been saying for agesssss that there is a darkness under all that sunshine from where she clawed her way to the top and this is sooo vindicating. 10000000000000/10 favourite song ever. Mad woman wishes she was who’s afraid of little old me. I am unwell. I am in love. This is the Taylor Swift i stan. The marketing genius the calculating business woman the puppet master with narcotics in her songs thats why we sing along🫡 she so can handle a dangerous man
11. I can fix him (no really I can)- you cant.
12. loml- ofc. OFC. Its the saddest song of all time. OFC. Fuck offf ughhhh. 😭😭😭😭😭 its giving happiness. Its giving divorce. i am a child of a broken home now and my parents still love each other and hold so much regret still. What do i do with thissss? Im just a little girl taylorrr! 1002380292011010101/10 soo so gooood.
13. I can do it with a broken heart- first of all track 13. Love it. Second of all the upbeat barbieness of it all. Third of all I FINALLY PLACED IT. Shes in her unrelatable era. She is not your girl next door. You will never understand her life. She is as much a phenomenon as a person and we literally only see as much as she allows us to and honestly if i have to get put in my place theres noooo better way to have it done. Im having such a great time actually. 10 BILLION TRILLION OUT OF 10 you tellll em girl you FUCKING TELL EM.
14. Smallest man who ever lived- not going to speculate on who it is bc they clearly had a serious problem and its not a joke but damn :/ thats so sad :/ hope they get help? Didnt expect this to be what the song was about at all?
15. The alchemy- she said TRAVIS IS MY BOY WITH HER WHOLE CHEST😌 10/10
16. Clara bow- did she just name drop herself ? I was so right about unrelatable era. Also the Subtle nod to olivia/sabrina noted and appreciated. Lucky one/castles crumbling (mature version) fr fr. Solid legacy song.
17. The black dog- shared your secrets with and location is the same whiplash as a red rose grew up out of ice frozen ground with no one around to tweet it🤌🏾 joe songs hit so so different 😭😭😭 1000000000/10
18. imgonnagetyouback- the valiant roar was not so valiant and more of a mew i guess. 7/10
19. The albatross- oh this is the ONE. The album defining song for sureeee. Mad woman on coke. A rose by any other name is a scandal???? Thats my religion right there. Little last great American dynasty twist there at the end! Fuck yea. She does reallly try to warn the men in her life have to give her that. One gazillion/10
20. Clearly god has favourites and they are the ppl called chloe or sam or sophia or marcus😭 ALSO this song is about joe for sure. The internet starlet hasss to be delaney rowe!!!! It HAS TO BE. 10/10
21. How did it end?- shes back for the fans😂 plot twist the breakup is with yall🤌🏾 but yesss say it louder! One gasp and then how did it end. So good. 100/10
22. So high school- lmao aristotle grand theft auto ONLYY taylor swift man😭😂 you know what you want and boy you got her🫡🫡 11/10
23. I hate it here- mother’s having a mental breakdown kids yk the drill🤌🏾 10/10
24. ThanK you aIMiee- what better way to say fuck you to a hater than to thank her for jumpstarting your legacy my god!!! She is insane for this. The capitalisation is a bit petty tho ngl. 8/10
25. I look in peoples windows- once again I thank you for the kindness and respect shown to joe. Never doubted you but thank you nevertheless. 10/10 short as nice to have a friend but it didnt need to be longer.
26. The prophecy- its so sad and humbling to see even a woman at where she is having to beg for love bc that literally is the nature of love. Something humiliating, to have to beg for 🤷♀️ cards playing out like fools in a fable cursed like eve got bitten. No one writes like her damn. 10/10
27. Cassandra- very madeline miller on this one. Love love loveee modern takes on tragic greek women. 100/10
28. Peter- ah fuck. This one is going to hurt (it did). 1000000/10 my ribs get the feeling she did😭 all her joe related aches are so bone deeeep ugh. Promises oceans deep but never to keep😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 oh god it hurtsss it hurts it hurtss
29. The bolter- curious child ever reviled except by her father wow.
30. Robin- OMG! I needed this song growing up sooo bad. That way to go tiger felt so so warm like running into a kitchen after a day of being in the mud and u tell ur mum the silly things u did and shes genuinely interested and impressed by your smol victories. A bajillion/10
31. The manuscript- postmortem of every ex ever🤌🏾 love it.
#taylor swift#anatrik#ttpd#fortnight#clara bow#but daddy i love him#the smallest man who ever lived#loml#my boy only breaks his favourite toys#down bad#so long london#fresh out the slammer#florida#guilty as sin?#who’s afraid of little old me#the alchemy#i can do it with a broken heart#first thoughts#the tortured poets department#my writing#the black dog#the albatross#chloe or sam or sophia or marcus#how did it end?#i hate it here#thanK you aIMee#i look in people's windows#peter#cassandra#robin
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i think there's still a few hours left for your gala, right?? 👁 if so, id like to request 💻 the angst prompt "no, im actually not ok," w austin.. maybe some h/c after the oscars? 🥺🙏
i don't know what i'm feeling
fandom: austin butler | elvis ( 2022 )
rating: g, t if you really squint.
pairing: austin butler x gender neutral reader
word count: 802
warnings: austin being sad post oscars. talk about the oscars. talk about the whale.
author’s note: thank you anon and you were right i did have a few more hours when you sent this to me and was hoping someone would allow me the chance to do a hurt and comfort with this. full disclosure to everyone, i said it once before, if austin was going to lose to anyone, i did want it to be brendan because i was iffy on colin. however, i despise of the whale as a movie- and truly wish brendan had won for literally anything else. so do not take anything i have austin say as my own opinion on the movie itself. i hate it.
this is for my 1k gala with the angst prompt of “no, i’m actually not ok.” and saints preserve me i'll live in my universe where i made this boy drunkenly say to his girl some nasty sexy things post oscar. also i'm not the biggest fan of this but i can't tell if that's purely because i'm in my own head about it or not. still hope you enjoy. also i didn't mess up my word count for the third time in all my gala pieces, what are you talking about.
It's an honor to be nominated. It's an honor to be put in the same league as actors who've been in the business for decades. It's an honor to be nominated along someone who's going to grow with him in their crafts. If he was going to lose to anyone everyone had said it was going to be him or Brendan and damn if he didn't think the man deserved it. The Whale was tough to watch but it was good- it was the sort of thing that earned an actor their Oscar. He shouldn't be- He shouldn't be feeling the way he does. Bill didn't get a single award all season and Colin went from a frontrunner with him to the afterthought along with Paul.
He can't even talk about this with Barry because it was always Ke's one to lose and he wasn't going to. Maybe Angela- but hadn't hers been wrapped in the grief from losing Chadwick. He still can't believe he heard Samuel L Jackson make a noise for him of all people behind him. He should be happy, this is the start of him finally making a difference. Making his fans proud and happy for him like Elvis. Making his mom proud that all her work wasn't for nothing. Making Lisa and Priscilla proud wasn't for nothing but why does he feel as if it was in this moment. Why is his brain just telling him this is how it starts? He'll have this whirlwind of three years and then three projects back to back to back only to have nothing afterward. Angela feels him tense a little- she must have because she looks at him and squeezes his hand once again before nodding over to you.
You- you can help ease his mind, once you're in the car he'll talk to you, whisper in your ear how this was not how he thought this night would go. His eyes meet yours and you smile gently before shrugging a little. He watches your lips mouth "love you" before he focuses on the last of the awards. It's a bit of organized chaos leaving the theater and it almost seems as if there's just an Elvis line of people walking around hand in hand like a bunch of kindergarteners before Austin and you finally get into a car and you squeeze his hand. "You okay?"
If it was anyone else, if it was Baz or Liv or Catherine or Kelvin or Luke- if it was anyone he'd lie. But you deserve the truth in a way that very few people do in this circumstance. "No, I'm actually not. I- I don't even know what I'm feeling. I'm mad but I shouldn't. I was nominated for an Oscar. I used to dream about this. I almost won an Oscar!"
"You have a Golden Globe! And a BAFTA!" You remind him, your voice matching his in volume before your hand moves to cup his cheek. There's a wet bit that you brush away with your thumb. "You're allowed to feel something, Austin. It doesn't make you a bad person or take away from Brendan's win because I know you, I know we're going to go the party and you're gonna see him and he's gonna give you a big dad hug and you're gonna gush. And you're gonna bounce up and down with Ke and make sure Baz doesn't drink too much because Catherine asked you too."
The laugh that bubbles up from him is wet sounding, covered in unshed tears as he sniffles. "Forgot how I'm gonna tell Luke about Polly making me do some moves for party tricks. And how Kelvin is going to remind me to-"
"Chill out?" You finish like that's actually what Austin was going to say before he shakes his head, allowing himself to just rest his head in your hand.
"Something like that. I just thought- I let my hopes get up." Austin whispers and you frown.
"No one blames you for that, you know. I don't. Tell you what. When we get to the party, how about we just sit in the car for a little bit until you calm down. And then when we get there, we just relax. Just for a little bit until you stop hurting so much. I'll shoo away the cameras with my charm." Austin raises an eyebrow knowing that isn't always how things go with you and him.
"Yeah? No fighting that'll get us both in trouble?"
"Pinky swear." You hold out your pinky as you move to kiss Austin. "Now, how about we focus on our plans for after tonight. I believe someone promised me a vacation?"
Austin's answer is a hum before he gives you another kiss. "How do you feel about the mountains?"
#austin butler#austin butler angst#austin butler x you#austin butler x reader#austin butler x y/n#austin butler fanfic#austin butler fluff#austin butler fanfiction#ally's 1k gala#ally writes
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Threatened Reader 2 (HC)
Fandom: Blackstar Theater Starless
Pairing: Sotetsu, Qu, Akira, Heath, Menou with fem!Reader
Warning: Death, suicide, mental spiraling/depression, blood, self-harm.
Requested by: Potato
Prompt: I think I've finally recovered enough to ask for another Threatened Reader if you're up for it? Nothing huge cast member wise, maybe Sotetsu, Qu, Akira, Heath, Menou? - P
Original prompt: A reader ignoring their lover because a random fangirl said so or They will Kill her? The leader gets sad and keep forcing them to talk to them but when she yelled at them for the reason she ignored them she gets a bullet shot on her head?….I just want to know how they would react to that can you do a headcannon?
A/N: I FINALLY finished it, and it only took me ages. 😭 Please take the warning seriously. There is some VERY heavy stuff under the cut. Kids, not meant for your eyes!
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Prologue:
“Why are you ignoring me? Did I do something wrong?” The anxiety and desperation in his voice were evident.
“Just leave me alone!” It pained you to say those words, but you had no choice. You chose to keep your back to him, no wanting to see his distressed expressions.
You wish that you had never met the insane fangirl on that accursed day. Her words kept ringing in your ears over and over. Stay away from him, or else I will kill you.
You would’ve taken her threat with a grain of salt had it not been for the crazed look in her eyes. She meant every word.
While you were busy with your thoughts, you failed to notice your lover behind you. He quickly wrapped his arms tightly around you.
“Don’t do this to me.”
No matter how hard you struggled, you couldn’t get out of his iron grip. As you continue your attempt to get out of his hold, your eyes rapidly scanned the area. You prayed that she was not around.
“Enough! At least tell me why you’re doing this!?”
The anger in his voice snapped something inside you. “Because I don’t want to die!”
“What?” His grasp around you loosened as he stared in shock.
“One of your fans threatened me! She said to stay away from you if I don’t want to die.” You sighed, “Please, j-just leave-”
Before you could finish your sentence, a loud bang rang through the empty street.
----
Your body slammed on the concrete, limp and lifeless. Sotetsu’s hand trembled uncontrollably as he wiped your blood from his face. The smell of iron had filled every inch of his nose.
His hands grasped at the thin air as if searching for an anchor, as everything around him began to spin. His eyes blurred with tears as his laughter echoed through the area.
Sotetsu’s laugh was tinged with madness and despair - the laugh of a man who knew the universe was once again being sadistic and taking his happiness from him.
He searched high and low for the fangirl, determined to make her pay, slowly and painfully. He toyed with her, playing a deadly game of cat and mouse. A game that had her fearful to even step out of her house, so he forced her out of her home and continued the game until she could no longer take it and ended her life.
He pretended to be normal after that, but there was always a mad glint in his eyes. But everyone in Starless noticed and was worried about him, but Sotetsu refused to let any of them through.
The memories of the moment you died haunted him - always had him on edge, always watching, waiting for something to go wrong.
Akira's face turned pallid. He backed away, eyes wide with shock, until his back was pressed against a surface. The singer gasped for air, feeling like someone had a tight grip on his throat.
Though he managed to pry his eyes away from your body, the loud thud of your body colliding with the hard ground echoed repeatedly in his ears. Akira pressed his palms against his ears in an attempt to get the sound to stop, but it refused to go away.
Hours, days, and weeks passed, but he couldn't get that sound out of his head.
He started to flirt with every woman who crossed his path, but his heart remained empty. Every girl fell flat. They were just meaningless, nothing more than objects of momentary distraction.
Akira felt lost and empty. Nothing brought him satisfaction, not even singing.
His life turned into a blur of hedonistic pleasures. He slept with multiple women daily, sometimes several at once, at home, in Starless, in random places, at parties, everywhere.
Even then, he couldn't feel anything. Everyone in Starless was concerned, including Kokuyou. At times, Kokuyou slapped Akira to get him to snap out of it, but nothing worked.
It was like Akira was hoping to destroy himself physically and mentally. Then, maybe just then, he would be able to join you...wherever you were.
His heart froze in his chest. Qu's hand reached out to you, but it was too late. You were already on the ground. His hand remained in the air, trembling violently. Qu's mouth felt like a desert, and he could barely breathe. A crushing pressure pushed down on his chest, and Qu fainted.
He refused to leave his room and stayed curled in a corner. He remained there like a statue, crying nonstop. Neither Team C nor Maica were able to convince him to come out, eat, or care for himself.
His once beautiful, spotless skin was covered in breakouts, his well-groomed hair was growing out of control, and his physique had shivered to skin and bones.
Maica worked with Hari to find the fangirl who was responsible for your death. Maybe if they made her pay, Qu would slowly gather himself, but she was nowhere to be found.
He was a ghost among the living. No amount of doctors, medicines, or therapy helped. Even the medical professionals had given up on him.
It was his fault that you died, so Qu was repenting by tormenting himself in any way he could. His team members and friends watch helplessly as Qu's life painfully withered away.
As you lay motionless, your expression one of shock and horror, blood oozed through the hole in your skull. Menou stood in place, his eyes cold and devoid of empathy or remorse.
He walked away, going where his feet carried him. He thought about nothing, and his lifeless eyes stared straight ahead. Menou felt like a shell walking through the world without a purpose.
Every time he closed his eyes, he saw your terror-filled expression and could smell the coopery stench of your blood pouring out of the bullet hole. You were there, mocking him, making him remember over and over that he was responsible for your death.
Menou thought that if he found the woman responsible, you would finally leave him alone. So, he hunted her down. He covered her mouth and tore her to pieces, limb by limb, devoid of expression. But that was still not enough. You continued to mock him.
Team P tried to get him to sleep or visit a doctor and suggested anything and everything that could possibly help him, but Menou ignored them all.
Progressively, the image of your limp body was engraved in his vision. No matter where he looked, he saw you. Unable to take it, he dug his nails around his eyes and didn't stop until he clawed his eyes out. The entire time, he laughed, thinking he was mocking you now because he would no longer be able to see you.
His vision grew darker and darker. It eventually turned pitch black, and that was the last memory Menou's mind retrained before it, too, gave into the permanent darkness.
Heath dropped to his knees, with a look of horror and despair on his face, and cradled your head in his arms. He tried to wipe the blood away from the bullet wound. But why didn't the blood stop?
In a desperate attempt, he collected your blood in his palm and tried to pour it back into your wound. Why was your body getting cold?
"(Y/n), stop acting. It's not funny. Wake up. Wake...up. WAKE UP!"
Those were the last words Heath ever said as the trauma of losing you attacked his voice. He couldn't speak or rap. Even his uncontrollable sobs were muted.
His team members were breaking down with him. Mizuki would scream at him to snap out of it. Rico and Kongou couldn't bear to see Heath's state and developed trauma of their own. Hinata didn't show it but was severely disturbed by everything. Ran hunted down the fangirl and threw her lifeless body in front of Heath, hoping it would help the rapper recover, but the rapper stared at the body expressionless.
All he did was stare into space, not reacting to anything or anyone unless someone said your name.
One day, Heath saw you. His dull eyes sparkled, and his lips curled into a smile. He called out your name and followed you through the hallways, up the stairs, and to the rooftop.
The cast members heard screams outside the restaurant and ran out to see what was happening. And there was Heath in a pool of his own blood, his limbs sprawled in unnatural positions. But there was a smile on pale, cracked lips. He was finally with you.
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