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princeescaluswords · 1 year

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Idk if this is appropriate but you're like the most promiment blog calling out racist scott mccall hate I know of and I just need to talk to someone about how weird it is that certain parts of the fandom loves the idea of Derek speaking Spanish (often in conjunction with Stiles speaking Polish) but blatantly ignores or disregards the fact Scott is literally Latino

Also, is Derek speaking Spanish just a headcanon or have I forgotten part of the show?

Derek absolutely spoke Spanish in More Bad Than Good (3x14). He responded to Araya Calavera's interrogation in the language she used. She acknowledges that he speaks many languages. He does it again in 117 (4x02) with Rafael McCall.

One of the things that the production didn't shy away from in Teen Wolf is showing Derek Hale's privilege as a rich white man. Did you notice that? He purchases an entire building and he has his own accounts. He replaces the window on his car that Chris ordered smashed in Pack Mentality (1x03) by Heart Monitor (1x06) while the busted side-view mirror on the McCall family car remains that way throughout Season 1. He never has to work. He speaks many languages, can quote Shakespeare back at Gerard, and can recognize kitsune. His family has status and influence extending from California alphas to South American packs.

It's why I'm always a little bit annoyed and a little bit confused by the tag "Derek Deserves Nice Things." How many more nice things did they want him to have? He has all this privilege already, he survives his terrible decisions, he doesn't face any consequences for ruining Boyd's, Erica's, and Jackson's lives, he gets a smoking-hot bad-ass girlfriend, and he reclaims his mother's legacy of the full shift before he does a heroic walk-off in Smoke & Mirrors (4x12). He has a nice house, a business, a working relationship with the police department, and a charming son in the movie.

There is one thing he didn't get, of course, and that is the source of fandom's discontent: he wasn't the heroic lead protagonist. In different seasons, he was an antagonist, he was a villain, he was the lead protagonist's foil, the lead protagonist's mentor, and he was the lead protagonist's close friend. But Teen Wolf is a bildungsroman and that means it's a story of a child becoming an adult, and that child is Scott McCall.

It reminds me of this quote:

“With fandom the kind of racism that you most commonly see isn’t things like racial slurs and hate speech and white hoods. What you really see is a constant communal prioritization of white people and white characters, even when there are non-white characters in major roles. This is a trend across almost all fandoms.”

— Holly Quinn in Episode 22A of Fansplaining

And Teen Wolf is one of the most blatant examples of this. From an objective viewpoint, Scott McCall is the lead character. Scott is involved in every single plot line from Season 1 to Season 6 -- even when he gets almost completely turned into a plot device, as in 6A, he is involved in the resolution of both major stories. There is no Teen Wolf without Scott.

To the fandom, this cannot be borne. So this is why they dwell on Scott's mistakes like he's Heinrich Himmler. That's why he's stupid, immature, obsessive, stubborn, and a tyrant. That's why "Bad Friend Scott" stories are so damn popular, because the punishment he gets in those stories is the punishment for daring to be the focus of the show. Why the fandom can't seem to separate Scott McCall from his actor until it's convenient for them to do so.

Scott can't be smart even though he does smart things and outwits the villains. Scott irrationally hates Derek or Jackson -- even though Canon Scott hated Derek and Jackson far less than Stiles did -- because that undermines his primary heroic traits. That's why he's sexually obsessed with Allison, even though he repeatedly puts other things ahead of his relationship with Allison. (The fact that these are stereotypes of Latinos escapes their notice.) That's why, to them, the True Alpha story line is either ridiculous, came out of nowhere, or the sinister machinations of another character of color who didn't prioritize white male characters enough.

In Teen Wolf's case, though, the amount of evidence that the show is about Scott as a heroic protagonist is so insurmountable that even they have to be confronted with the racism inherent in their position. That's an uncomfortable position to be in, so they had only one recourse in the end. They turn Scott McCall white. They insist upon it. They'll go so far as to ignore real-world actions and the history of the United States in order to insist upon it. It's neither ignorance nor simple disregard -- it's defensiveness.

#teen wolf fandom racism #fandom racism #derek hale #scott mccall #scott mccall defense squad

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secretsolarsystem · 10 months

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A SADIE POST ??? ON MY DASH ???? how about drunk au or pen pal au or anything u fuckin want cus i will read it 🫶🫶🫶😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

HEHEHEHE HIIIIII MADISON <3 ILYSM FR U STAY ON MY MIND EVEN THOUGH I'VE BEEN GONE FOR 8 MILLION YEARS FR 🫶

the way I haven't been able to write a single word in MONTHS without immediately deleting it. and I just cranked this out. the power of Madison fr.

nooooo spoilers but I have a pen pal au outlined that I wanna write for the holidaysssssss AHHH so pls enjoy this drunk au <3

1.9k, modern au, changed their ages so Anakin’s 18 and Obi-Wan’s 21, under-age drunkeness, I’ll say dub-con just incase since Anakin isn’t sober but not much happens really everyone's okay, kindaaaa mature but again. not much happens really, Obi-Wan’s going through it typical college student style. it gets a little moree angsty than I intended at the end??? but this story has a happy ending in MY mind but do with it what you will <3

—

Can I Chrom ove

Shit

Can I come coer

Over. Pbi

Obi waaaaann

Obiiiiii wannnn can I comdvr PLEAEE

The string of texts gave the sense that Obi-Wan was taking hours, even minutes to respond. But checking the time stamps, they’d all been sent in the span of a minute. All of them had been sent at 1:38 in the morning.

Obi-Wan had already been awake, working on a grueling essay that he’d finally had a flow on and didn’t want to lose, sleep be damned, so he had the honor of watching these texts as they came in. The first one made him frown, not so much thrown off by the misspelling, but more so by the capitalization. Anakin never capitalized properly when he texted. (It was a point of contention for them that Obi-Wan did, and that he used proper punctuation.

“Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong? What’s wrong? You can just tell me, you know. I thought we were closer than that.”

“Anakin, what in the world are you talking about?”

“Your text. Do you not want to go anymore? Is it because you’re mad at me?”

“I’m so confused, Anakin. Did I not say that meeting at the theater at three sounded, and I quote, ‘good’?”

“Obi-Wan, you said, and I fucking quote, smart ass, ‘Sounds good.’ You wrote ‘sounds good’ with a capital S and a period at the end.”

“…Right. Yes.”

“Obi-Wan, you see why I thought you hated me, right? You see it? Right?”

The conversation went on for a few more minutes, and during the trailers, and during dinner after the movie…)

So, once he saw ‘Can I come coer,’ Obi-Wan knew Anakin was drunk. He watched all the other texts come in, and his smile grew as they did. He didn’t know if his name – at least what he was assuming was supposed to be his name – spelled as ‘Pbi’ or the desperate ‘PLEAEE’ was his favorite, but just to be sure they were forever preserved, Obi-Wan took a quick screenshot.

Just as he was about to respond, Obi-Wan saw the typing bubble pop up from Anakin and waited to see what he would add, when a loud thud came from his window. Obi-Wan’s head whipped around so fast that if adrenaline hadn’t immediately spiked through his body he would probably feel a fierce twinge in his neck.

A moment later, though, he slumped back into his desk chair with a heavy sigh and an annoyed shake of his head when he saw Anakin on the other side of the window, head pressed against the glass and dark blue eyes looking in, searching for Obi-Wan. Since Obi-Wan still had lights on, Anakin was probably looking mostly at his own reflection, but his drunken mind didn’t care.

Obi-Wan walked over and tapped the window, feeling slightly bad about having to scare Anakin, but Anakin had just scared the shit out of him and it got him to take his head off the window, so he only felt slightly kind of sort of bad about it.

He opened the window, and greeted Anakin’s slurred, “Obi-Waaaaaan!” with a shush and out-stretched hands. “Come on, come inside,” he said, helping Anakin’s long limbs climb in through the window. When Anakin finally made it in, despite Obi-Wan’s help, he fell into a heap on Obi-Wan’s floor, squealing while Obi-Wan cursed. “Why didn’t you just knock on the door, Anakin?”

“B’cus,” Anakin said, accepting Obi-Wan’s help to right himself, sitting on the floor now with his back against the wall under the window. “Gotta sneak. Mom’ll kill me.”

Obi-Wan sighed, shaking his head, though now he wore a fond smile. He could never be mad at Anakin for long. They’d known each other for four years now, ever since Anakin was a high school freshman and Obi-Wan had been a junior, and they’d surely fought during all those years, but the anger never lasted for long – if it was ever there to begin with. If he took the time to really consider it, Obi-Wan couldn’t remember a time that he was actually mad at Anakin.

(Maybe that one time he dated that girl from their school’s student government, but Obi-Wan never took the time to really consider that. That was over and done, anyways.)

“Your mom’s not here though. Were you trying to go home?” Obi-Wan asked. His essay flow left the second Anakin thunked his head against his window, so Obi-Wan figured he could take Anakin home and just go to bed.

“No,” Anakin said emphatically, looking at Obi-Wan as though he’d just asked Anakin if wanted to go sky diving into an active volcano. “She’ll kill me, Obi. I gotta stay here. Can I stay here? Please, Obi, she’ll kill me, kill me ’til I’m, like…dead.”

Obi-Wan smiled again, both at Anakin’s rambling and the memory of his ‘PLEAEE’ text. “Of course you can. Let’s get you up on the bed.”

Anakin sighed with unfathomable relief, even as he groaned at Obi-Wan moving him up and off the floor. Once he sat heavily onto the mattress, Anakin immediately fell back onto the pillows with another happy sigh.

“Thank you, Obi. The best. Obi the best, you’re the best. M’sorry I woke you up,” Anakin said, sinking into Obi-Wan’s pillows.

Obi-Wan walked over to his desk, saving and closing his essay and shutting his laptop. “I was already up, don’t worry about it,” Obi-Wan assured, turning off his desk lamp and walking back over to sit on the edge of his bed.

Although it was a struggle, Anakin propped himself up, frowning at Obi-Wan. “Why? S’late. You talkin’ to someone, Obi? Someone pretty?” he interrogated, though it was hard to take seriously, considering how he struggled not to sway back into the pillows and to keep his face looking serious.

Obi-Wan laughed. “Oh yeah, talking to all the hot authorities on the history of banned literature,” Obi-Wan said, wiggling his eyebrows. He knew in Anakin’s drunken state he’d miss the fact that Obi-Wan was referring his research paper, so he moved on. “Why are you here right now, Anakin? Have you been drinking with someone pretty?” He ignored the ugly feeling he got in his stomach at his own joke, and maintained his smile.

Anakin huffed out a breath of air and stopped himself from falling back again. “Graduation,” was the explanation Anakin gave. Obi-Wan understood, though, of course. While Obi-Wan was scrambling to finish his assignments and be done with his junior year of college, Anakin and his friends were getting ready for their high school graduation coming up. Obi-Wan couldn’t wait to watch Anakin walk across that stage, his bright smile beaming and surely putting on a show for his friends in the crowd. At Obi-Wan’s own high school graduation, Anakin whooped and hollered so loud during Obi-Wan’s entire walk Obi-Wan couldn’t help but smile and shake his head at him in the stands. Obi-Wan probably wouldn’t be quite as loud, but he couldn’t wait to cheer on Anakin.

It was bittersweet, though, because Anakin was going out of state for college. Even if he’d gone to Obi-Wan’s university, they’d only have a year together, but even then they could hang out after Obi-Wan graduated. Now, it was going to be at least four years until they’d see each other again outside of holidays – that is, if Anakin decided to come back home after he graduated, and that was anything but guaranteed.

Obi-Wan didn’t know how Shmi was handling it; Obi-Wan was a wreck. But he only let his genuine pride and excitement show, because he’d never forgive himself if Anakin let such an amazing opportunity slip away because his friend Obi-Wan was sad.

“Are all of you excited?” Obi-Wan asked, and was surprised when Anakin struggled to push himself up and forward to press into Obi-Wan’s side, his head dropping heavily to Obi-Wan’s shoulder. “Anakin?”

“M’nervous,” Anakin mumbled into Obi-Wan’s shirt. “Gonna be so far. From home. Mom. You.” Anakin lifted his head to say the last word, so it was breathed right onto Obi-Wan’s neck. “Gonna miss you, Obi. Came here ‘cause I knew you’d take care of me. Always take care of me,” Anakin rambled on, running a hand across Obi-Wan’s stomach to hold him in a loose hug.

“You’re gonna be fine, Anakin,” Obi-Wan made himself say, heart and mind racing at Anakin’s words and touch. Of course Obi-Wan had always felt so strongly for Anakin – of course he did. Anakin was smart and funny and brave and beautiful. Of course Obi-Wan loved him, but they were best friends. Always just Anakin and Obi-Wan. And Obi-Wan told himself he was content with that, because it let him keep Anakin and let let him be kept by Anakin, in some sense.

“But who’s gonna take care of me, Obi-Wan?” Anakin breathed against Obi-Wan’s skin. He was somehow closer now, so each word brushed his lips against the skin of Obi-Wan’s neck. He trailed his hand down before Obi-Wan’s brain could comprehend what was going on, and was suddenly palming Obi-Wan’s cock, which Obi-Wan realized just in that moment that he was half hard. Obi-Wan sucked in a breath, and Anakin’s movements continued, rubbing Obi-Wan’s cock, both of them feeling it get harder and harder in his jeans.

“Who’s gonna take care of you?” Anakin panted, craning his neck to press a sloppy kiss to the corner of Obi-Wan’s mouth. Obi-Wan turned his head towards him without thinking, just acting purely though shock, turning to look at him with big eyes and question on his lips, but Anakin was quick to lick it away and try to kiss him again.

“Anakin, you’re drunk,” Obi-Wan said, breathless, every single nerve alight and every single muscle tense.

“Mhm,” Anakin agreed, his kiss doing nothing but making Obi-Wan’s face wet.

“So we have to stop,” Obi-Wan tried.

“Nooooo,” Anakin whined, not stoping any of his actions, speaking right up against Obi-Wan’s face. “Just…Oh! Get drunk! Yeah, get drunk, Obi, so you can kiss me.”

Anakin’s fingers moved to the button of Obi-Wan’s jeans, fumbling there as he continued to press his lips to Obi-Wan’s in an attempt of a kiss. Obi-Wan’s hand finally came up to grab Anakin’s to stop him; he’d been dying for this to happen, but this was all wrong. It wasn’t anything like Obi-Wan had hoped, like he’d imagined, and he didn’t want this to be ruined for either of them.

He grabbed Anakin’s hand, and it stopped, easily. He turned his head away, and Anakin let him, easily. And Obi-Wan waited for Anakin to sit back and do something – laugh, cry, yell, ramble, shrug, vomit, anything – but Anakin simply slumped his entire weight into Obi-Wan. A ball of pure anxiety now, Obi-Wan waited without even breathing, and heard as soft snores started coming from Anakin.

Obi-Wan couldn’t even help it; he laughed. Anakin had just – just, what, confessed? And then kissed Obi-Wan and groped Obi-Wan’s hard dick, and then proceeded to fall asleep on top of Obi-Wan, his head on his shoulder and his hand still on his crotch.

Shaking his head out of fondness and incredulity, Obi-Wan moved Anakin to lay down on the bed, and he went, easily. He fell back onto the pillows and kept snoring, his sleep anything but disturbed. Obi-Wan took a moment to look at Anakin, to appreciate the way his lashes laid on his alcohol-flushed cheeks and the part of his lips and his curls falling around him like a halo.

Obi-Wan took this in, smiled, and went back to his desk. He opened up his laptop, opening his essay. His flow was still gone, but he needed to do something, anything except think about what the fuck had just happened.

from this prompt list prompted fic collection on ao3

#me: writer's block so severe I cannot write literally a single word #madison: hiiiii :3 #me: TWO THOUSAND WORDS JUST FOR YOOOU <33 #ilysm fr <33 #sorry for the ending fr #obikin #ask #prompt #my writing

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pale-silver-comb · 4 years

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So I know absolutely nothing about Leverage except what I've been seeing you post lately and I have to admit you're making it look tempting to watch! Can I ask what are some of your favorite things about the show/reasons you would suggest people watch it? And is there really a poly relationship that is canon?

Okay. Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I am going to do my best not to just “asdfghkjl” at you and answer coherently.

In a nutshell, Leverage is about 5 people. 4 are criminals (Parker, Hardison, Eliot and Sophie) with different and unique skill-sets and 1 is an ex-insurance investigator (Nate) who, at one point or another in his career, has tracked down (or at least attempted to) the other 4. The whole show is essentially: man reluctantly reforms 4 criminals to use their criminal powers for good and 4 criminals move into man’s life and stubbornly refuse to leave because, goddammit, now they have morals.

I’ve got a lot of favourite things about the show but the main ones are as follows:

1. Found family. And I’m not talking about loners who come together to fight crime and happen to co-exist to the point where they realise they happen to have found themselves a family. I mean, Nate and Sophie are the Drunk Uncle and Wine Aunt who somehow become Mom and Dad to 3 beautiful criminal children. Mom and Dad love their criminal babies and the kids love them (as well as each other, but we’ll come to that in a moment). You get amazing family moments such as: Mom and Dad packing the kids lunch before sending them out to kick corporate greed’s ass; Mom and Dad giving the kids ridiculously expensive and personal Christmas presents causing their most Grumpy Kid to go very very quiet and soft as he runs off to gleefully play with his new murder toy; the kids interrupting Mom and Dad’s big Movie Style Kiss to ask if they can please keep their new underground layer and huffing and puffing when Dad tells them no.

2. Found family: the OT3 edition. To answer your question, the OT3 is indeed canon, confirmed by the creator. Now, usually, “confirmed by the creator” infuriates me because most of the time it’s a way for a creator to be seen as “progressive” without doing anything to actually be progressive. That isn’t the case here. The OT3 are built up carefully and while it is obvious the creators didn’t originally intend for all 3 of them to become a relationship in the romantic sense, by mid-season 5 we are given a very clear picture of where Parker, Hardison and Eliot are heading in their relationship. There aren’t any kisses at the end to signal this but there are solid marriage vows in not only one but two episodes. (And by marriage vows I mean literal equivalents of marriage vows: “for better or worse” and “’til death do us part”. I’m not even exaggerating). The OT3 also doesn’t need explicit romantic narratives to convey how much they love each other. Their love is laced through the whole show, from the way they teach each other things to the way they respond to each other and work as a unit. The way they fiercely protect and admire each other. Like someone once said, if you need characters to kiss or say I love you to let the audience know they love each other, you are writing them wrong.

Aside from that, each of the parings in the OT3 are just. Gah. They are so well done, with friendship being the solid basis for them all. The creators never expect the audience to assume anything about them or fill in the gaps. They give us their relationships on screen and reference many things off-screen to show us how these relationships continue to build in between episodes.

Hardison and Parker are a canon couple and date in the show: it’s approached slowly and they are so goddamned sweet. They are basically every fluffy slow-burn trope with a healthy dash of mutual pining in the mix. They are basically that quote “love is patient, love is kind”. (I would like to add their romance never becomes the focus of the show or overrides the importance of any other relationship they have with the other characters, especially Eliot.)

Hardison and Eliot are the Old Married Couple and from day one are already bickering and looking at each other/making comments that are found in every UST fic ever (not to mention Hardison has a very good knack for making Eliot grin like a little kid, when usually he’s basically an Angry Little Chef Man). They argue, they play, and love each other plain as day.

Parker and Eliot are more subtle but every bit as wonderful. They have an unspoken connection and understand each other on a level no-one else can. Parker and Eliot are not good with giving themselves over to affection for different reasons (and Hardison plays a central role in helping them realise it’s okay to want it and have it- that boy has endless patience) but there is something so beautiful in the way the two of them come together on their own and develop their own special bond that works for them. Parker and Eliot are that trope where the characters don’t need to speak to understand each other perfectly. They just do. Their love language is a lot of the time non-verbal but speaks volumes. (Parker also likes to annoy the hell out of Eliot and Eliot....just.....lets...her. Because he’s soft. The softest, grumpiest boy.)

I could go into so much depth for each pairing and their dynamics as a 3 but that's for another post.

3. Subverting stereotypes. There is the occasional hiccup in the show regarding stereotypes but ultimately, Leverage gets an A+ when it comes to writing characters and making them 3 dimensional people who are not defined by certain characteristics or events. Nate could so easily fall into the White Man Pain trope where he uses the trauma of losing his kid as a reason as to why he is entitled to act like a dick. Nate is a dick but he doesn’t use his pain to excuse it and I appreciate that. Hardison is a black man who is soft and nurturing. Easily the most empathetic and patient of the group. He’s nerdy, an actual genius, and has the biggest heart of all the characters. Nate is maybe the glue but Hardison is definitely the heart. Media’s usual aggressive, amongst other, racist stereotypes can fuck right off. Parker is canonically autistic (I am sure this was confirmed by one of the creators) and she is not defined by it. It’s not written as some kind of singular personality trait. It’s part of what makes up Parker but it’s only one facet of who she is and not once is her actions, thoughts or feelings treated like a joke. Sometimes people don’t understand why she does and says the things she does but it’s met with patience and fondness over the course of the show. Equally, it’s not met with over-caution. Parker is just Parker. No-one tries to change her. The other nice thing is Hardison, who always makes sure Parker knows she’s amazing because of who she is and not in spite of it. Finally, Sophie is in her 40s. She’s not treated like she’s past her prime. Ever. She’s sexy, smart and never is she pitted against or compared to Parker (who is younger) for anything. Sophie is amazing and there’s never even a conversation of “I may be older but I am still *insert adjective typically associated with younger women here*”. Sophie is possibly the first female character I’ve ever seen who isn’t just unapologetic about her age but has never had to apologise for her age. It’s a non-issue and that’s that. The women on the show are written so well, right down to secondary characters and it’s beyond refreshing.

4.) It’s just fun. The show has a “monster of the week” type format. Except instead of a ghoul or a ghost, the monster is some corrupt wealthy and powerful individual or organisation. The show draws on real-life individuals to do this and therefore closely parallels real-life people and events. It addresses important political, economical, social and environmental issues while at the same time remaining fun and light-hearted. The characters constantly get the chance to play dress up and by GOD do they have fun with it. You get to watch Eliot beat up bad guys in the most delightful of ways, usually after a witty non-sequitur and with a weapon you’d never think could be a weapon. The dialogue and back and forth between the characters is everything. And finally - my favourite thing- the team can never resist striking a dramatic pose after they’ve taken down the bad guy, making sure the bad guy sees them. I mean, they COULD just walk away, satisfied they’ve taken the person down, but nope. They gotta be dramatic bitches 24/7 and pose like they are models for every single month of this year’s Criminal Calendar.

5.) Competence Porn. So. Much. Competence Porn.

Honestly, I could list a thousand reasons for why Leverage is amazing but to list them would to be spoiling so many amazing moments you’d get to discover for the first time on your own if you do choose to watch it. It’s the kind of show you can watch with an eagle-eye and sink your teeth into. But it’s also the kind of show if, you would prefer, put on in the background for something entertaining while you do something else. Each episode is about the job at hand but it’s made up of so many moments between the characters that show how much the creators and writers care about them. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, you’ll do whatever it is you do when something Soft and Wonderful happens that makes your heart melt. I am so beyond grateful for Leverage. It’s everything I always wanted in a show. Nearly every show I’ve watched in the past 10 years has disappointed me in some way, usually either because the writers run out of steam or characters who I love are treated poorly or given some kind of unnecessary “shock value” arc. Leverage doesn’t do that. Leverage is what it says on the bottle. Fandom isn’t something I joined because I needed canon fix-its. Fandom only enhances and celebrates an already excellent canon.

#leverage #leverage ot3 #parker #alec hardison #eliot spencer #sophie devereaux #nate ford #talk leverage to me

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dickspeightjrs · 4 years

Text

Dean still thanked Bobby every day for giving him a job at his store. Bobby would only respond with ‘shut up and stop thanking me ya idjit!’

But still, Dean was grateful. With Sam in his first year of college (Stanford Smart-Ass), even with a hefty scholarship, affording to live is still a bitch – especially in one of the most expensive states in the country.

So, on top of his job during the week as a TA at the local university, Dean picks up a couple shifts over the weekend at his Uncle Bobby’s vintage antique store.

Now, while Dean was extremely grateful, the gratefulness didn’t stop the fact that the job was boring as hell.

If you asked Dean, half the stuff in the store looked like it should be donated to Goodwill not be in a vintage store on sale for hundreds of dollars.

(It’s not that Dean didn’t understand the appeal of vintage items. He could appreciate a vintage beauty. His car was a prime example of that. However, despite what the price tags may say, none of this junk held a candle to his beautiful 67 Chevy Impala.)

The place was hardly heaving, even on weekends. And when customers did come in each interaction went one of two ways:

People brought in their old junk in an attempt to pass it off as some rare artefact. Trying to convince those people that what they thought was a valuable medal, passed down through generations may as well have come out of a Happy Meal was not Dean’s favourite way to spend his Saturday.

The second, and perhaps the worst, type of customer would be the rich, entitled people who come into the shop wanting to expand their collection of antiques (which Dean knew without having to visit their homes that they only purchase to show off their wealth and don’t particularly care where they come from). They could be buying a Victorian butt plug to display on their mantelpiece but wouldn’t care as long as it’s as old and expensive as possible.

Dean had a customer just last week who took hours trying to haggle on the price of an antique brooch, despite clearly being about to afford it at full price. If Dean didn’t need the job to support Sam he would have told the woman exactly what he thought of her. (Even Bobby had rules when it came to professionalism). Regardless, she was a total –

“I need a ring!”

Dean was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of a man entering the store looking pretty flustered – emphasis on the pretty.

The man made quick strides of the distance between the door and the counter where Dean was still stood – transfixed by the frankly beautiful man coming towards him.

The man stopped and let out a deep and calming sigh.

“I need a ring.” He repeated more smoothly.

Regardless of how he feels about the customers, no one could say Dean wasn’t awesome at his job. So he put on his best customer service smile, tried to ignore the things this man was making his body feel and silently thanked Bobby once again for this.

“Of course, Sir. Was there anything in particular you had in mind?”

The man frowned.

“Please. There’s no need to call me ‘Sir’. Just call me Castiel.”

Castiel. Angelic

Go figure.

“Okay, Castiel. Are you looking for any kind of ring in particular?”

As he spoke, Dean started to move towards the key box that held the key to unlock the glass cabinet, which housed all of their rings.

“Your most expensive if possible, please.”

Dean stopped in his tracks and looked momentarily at Castiel with wide eyes.

Not only is this dude hot as fuck, he’s rich as fuck too?

Dean was used to asshole rich people throwing their money around but even they had a limit. Coming in and asking for the most expensive ring before even seeing it? Dean didn’t care how gorgeous this guy was, or how blue his eyes were, or how rough his voice sounded, or how sharp his jawbone looked, or –

Anyway! This dude was clearly a douchebag so Dean wasn’t interested.

He opened the glass case and lifted out the most expensive ring, placing it delicately on a black cloth for Castiel to look at.

Castiel picked it up between his finger and thumb – inspecting carefully.

He seemed so quiet and unassuming – nothing like the normal wealthy douchebags Dean encountered. Maybe he got him wrong. Maybe he wasn’t so bad.

“Yes, I think she’ll like that one.”

Ah. So not a douchebag but definitely not single.

Dean sighed internally. That put an end to that before it even began.

Castiel dropped the ring back onto the surface and reached into his pocket for his wallet. Dean picked up the ring and carefully placed it inside the matching box. He was painfully aware that ring was worth more than he could earn in almost a year. Even if Castiel was single, Dean would never keep up with that amount of wealth.

He tried not to let the disappointment of Castiel’s impending engagement affect him – he was still just a stranger after all (a beautiful one at that his brain unhelpfully supplied). Dean plastered on his customer service smile.

“Would you like our complimentary cleaning cloth to help maintain its colour? We recommend cleaning it properly every week or so with this cloth as it is one of the older items in our collection.”

Castiel thought for barely a moment, “Sure.”

Gee, for a guy about to spend the rest of his life with the love of his life, he sure seemed uninterested in a pretty essential part of the process. This was just getting more and more depressing – and confusing.

Dean rushed to finish the transaction so he could get back to the normal status quo of the regular two types of customers and not a third who comes barreling in and turns his system upside down.

He finished the payment – Castiel barely flinched when Dean told him the price – and packed the ring carefully with the cleaning cloth into a gift bag.

“Thank you and I hope you and your soon-to-be fiancée have a wonderful life together.”

It pained Dean to say as he looked into Castiel’s eyes. Bobby should give him a raise just for the smile he was fighting to keep on his face.

As if Dean couldn’t take anymore, Castiel tilted his head and squinted his eyes making himself look adorable as hell.

“I’m not getting engaged.”

What?!

“What?”

“I’m not getting engaged.”

“B-but you just bought a really fucking expensive engagement ring!”

The confused part of Dean’s brain was overpowering the other part screaming ‘He’s not getting engaged – he might be single!’

“It’s for my mother.”

“Okay dude, you’re gonna have to walk me through this one. I mean, I love my mom but who drops that much on a ring for their mom?”

“My mother loves material things and good reputations – perhaps more than her own children. She has been rather angry with me for a few days so in order to ‘get back in her good books’ I needed to get the most expensive and oldest piece of jewellery I could. I see her tonight, hence why I was so flustered when I came in.”

Dean chose to ignore how adorable Castiel looked doing air quotes – his bran was about to explode.

“Ouch. What did you do to make her angry enough to need something as pricey as this?” Dean indicated to the bag he realised he was still holding out.

“My brother accidentally told her I’m gay.”

At this point, the other side of Dean’s brain finally took over.

DUDE HE’S NOT GETTING ENGAGED. HE’S PROBABLY SINGLE. AND HE’S INTO DUDES! ASK! HIM! OUT!

After a few prolonged seconds of Dean having an internal breakdown, Castiel started to look uneasy. Dean immediately recognised that uneasiness and managed to spit out a sentence that actually made sense.

“She’s angry at you for being gay? Sounds like a complete bitch to me.”

Dean realised what he’d said and instantly went to take it back but was stopped by the smirk on Castiel’s face.

“Oh don’t worry. She is. But as I said, she puts good reputations before her children and that means she’s paying for my law school. Well, what she thinks is law school.” There was that smirk again. Dean might just die. “I’m actually getting a degree in Education and Psychology. But I’ve got a year left so I need her to keep paying for my tuition. The day I graduate is the day I walk away from that family for good.”

Castiel held his head a little higher at that and Dean couldn’t help but admire the guy. Sucking up to a homophobic mom while tricking her into paying for the degree he wants? Frickin’ badass!

“Dude, I don’t know you from Adam, but, going on that ring alone, are you sure you could give up all that money?”

Castiel shrugged. “I’ve never been interested in it. I suppose that made me a bit of a black sheep. Add in the fact I’m gay, it pushed my mother over the edge. Hence the much too expensive ring.”

Wow. Was this guy for real?

Dean stood up from where he’d been leaning on the counter, listening with rapt attention. He put his hands in his pockets, looked down at a scratch in the counter top and looked up again slowly meeting Castiel’s eyes.

“So you’re not getting engaged?”

“Nope. Far from it, in fact.”

“You’re giving up the family money to live your own independent life?”

“Yes.”

“And you’re definitely into guys?”

Castiel smirked. “Yes. Very much so.”

“So… would you wanna go out some time? I promise it’ll probably be the cheapest date you’ve ever been on – I’m not exactly loaded myself.”

Dean avoided Castiel’s gaze, picking at the scratch on the counter.

A finger came out and lifted his chin, forcing him to meet Castiel’s eyes again.

“That sounds perfect. I’d love to go out with you but I do have one condition.”

Dean’s heart soared. He was starting to wonder where this guy had been all his life.

“Yeah?”

“Tell me your name.”

Dean threw his head back as a sharp, loud laugh burst through him.

The one day he forgot to wear his name tag. (He could hear Bobby’s ‘idjit’ ringing in his head.)

“It’s Dean.”

“Okay Dean, I’ll be out of town for a few days – to deliver the ring and reassure my mother that my brother was wrong, that her law school son is just looking for the right woman to settle down with.” Castiel rolled his eyes. “But when I get back I’d love to get burgers and see a movie or something?”

Dean’s smile could outshine the sun.

“Sounds awesome.”

* * *

A year later, they were all gathered in Dean’s garden celebrating Castiel’s graduation.

Since they met, Dean’s family had slowly started becoming Castiel’s too.

Now, Castiel was free from his biological family and was surrounded by his found family.

Dean was telling his Aunt Ellen the story of how they’d met but Castiel had zoned it out, focused only on looking at the beautiful man he got to call his.

“What a bitch!”

Castiel was drawn back into the conversation by Dean’s ‘cousin’ Jo’s outburst. Ah. They’re up to that point in the story.

Everyone in the group was looking at Castiel with sympathy and anger in their eyes.

Castiel shrugged.

“It’s fine. I used the family credit card to pay for the ring anyway. Plus I left with the most priceless item in that store anyway.”

The small crowd aww’d as Dean rolled his eyes and pulled Castiel in for a kiss.

This was my first fic since 2016 so please forgive if it’s a bit naff! I’m still re-finding my feet.

If you’d like to be tagged any of my future stuff just drop me a message and let me know. :)

#destiel #deancas #destiel fic #supernatural #myfic #fluff #misunderstandings #au #2k #jealous!dean #slightly

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icecreamkink · 3 years

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so i watched cobra kai all in two days and i have so many -

this show has so many cool and smart angles to it, but the same time.... its so stupid oh my god everyone is so dumb literally mr miyagi held all of the braincells in this whole universe

like i am but at the same time i am not surprised it was made like this, bc in hindsight of course there were hordes of ppl simping over johnny lawrence .... but it still amuses me that this is like... an Actual Official Thing

ok this will get long so cut it is

how much fun this cast has is super visible and i love it

i rly enjoy how the world was expanded ! i did grow up watching the karate kid movies, so watching how they progressed the world of the movies so organically was pretty cool. it rly feels like its the same universe

i fucking LOVE stories that are largely about a Thing. dancing ,skating, sports its just so thrilling to experience this all consuming relationship people can have with this type of activity? and martial arts are just that much more intense, so yeah, grown ass men kicking each other around at the lightest provocation and a war veteran caring so much abt teen karate is Ridiculous.... but i love it all because thats the intensity i find so thrilling

was kinda surprised with how much im missing mr. miyagi. first because, like everyone is so unhinged jesus christo, it just really throws into relief how much his character grounded the narrative of the movies. but also hes just a really great character

and on that note it rly Gets Me that the show itself aknowledges that and plays that into daniels angst and all the little ways they sorta weave myiagisms into the whole show........ im not getting emotional over this dumb karate dads show OK

related - i really miss hearing ‘daniel-san’ 🥺🥺

ACE DEGENERATE oh god oh no

they really went down the down and out johnny lawrence route huh. like i was always kinda bummed we see kreese choking him and then we never see him again in the movies, and while i love dumpster fire problematic trash himbo ck johnny, its like......................... actually really sad that his life turned out like this fjngn

everytime i hear ‘babes’ and ‘pussy’ i die a little inside. i know thats the point but i am a v cringe easy person, have mercy (ehe)

loved the way they are constantly drawing parallels between johnny and mr. myiagi of all people. hes the handy man of his building that has a bullied kid asking for help and eventually steps up to teach them karate, beats up a bunch of bullies for him, creates a friendship with said kid, estranged from family, drinks his sorrows away, surprisingly one of the least quick to anger characters (which says more about everyone else really but.... Well.), no schemes or ulterior motives hes just tryna vibe here.... oh and ofc magically heals miguel of is asthma apparently. the true disciple.. meanwhile daniel is his usual messy petty self even tho he wants to be mr myiagi so bad

also interesting about that is how miguels character is a parallel of both johnny and daniel at the same time

overall the parallels in ck are done really well, drawing comparisons and also subverting them constantly. theyre well thought out

THE PARALELOGRAMS

fr tho, the angle being explicitly the cycle of trauma and its effects and how trumatized adults in turn traumatize kids, maliciously or not, is so interesting

but! on the flip side of that, it feels like the writers are getting in their own way @ letting the characters grow. especially this last season. theres only so many times you can do "johnny and daniel are getting along but 5mins later they are (literally) fighting over some dumbass random issue" or "johnny puts in 20% of effort with robby and then gives up" before it gets on your nerves yknow?

i see daniel no longer talks like macchio ingested 15 shots of espresso before every take and idk how to feel about that tbh

interesting tension in daniel, as in, in tkk mr miyagi was there and daniel was frankly, kind of a lil shit, this messy petty spitfire hot tempered sassy kid,(johnny lawrence voice: just... stop being so annoying) but now hes the adult, and he wants to be mr. miyagi... but hes just not, and never will be to his very core and it shakes him and in a way hes trying to find who he is now that he sees himself in a position to be a not! cobra kai figure. i kinda really like that

plus how that relates to his cobra kai trauma. idk if the writers thought abt it Like That, i think so, but in any case, its interesting bc it seems like daniel has told everyone whod listen about johnny lawrence his Pretty Boy Karate Rival and high school and 84 cobra kai... But. no one seems to know what went on in 85 (or 86? idk) which was just so much worse

like ye og cobras were shitheads, but tkk iii is just two hours of daniel being emotionally and physically tortured.

like, the third movie is.............chaotic, to put it nicely, and many people ignore it, but the writers clearly didnt. daniels actions are, in a way, responding so much more to the events of tkk iii than to the first movie ie. johnny himself, AND. daniel doesnt rly seem to have dealt with that trauma? he never told sam? doesnt feel like hes ever told amanda? he doesnt even say terrys name out loud? freaks Out over kreese ? the way he reacts to robbys deceit? his FACE when he walks past the new "fear does not exist in this dojo" paint or kreeses photo? hmMm i sense Pain

his fashion tho........... disappointing. where are the flower shirts daniel huh we had one (1) shirt what a tragedy STOP WEARING SUITS ALL THE TIME . also the band ts/grunge bi are a look for johnny but part of me longs for the preppy lovable 80s bully chic johnny lawrence getups

weird that they never used that last moment of karate kid where johnny kinda... snaps out of his anger and hands daniel the trophy almost in tears. like “youre alright larusso, good match” “thanks a lot” that being their last direct interection seems like itd be perfect fruit for cobra kai but... they just dont. weird.

especially when, the FIRST SCENE they see each other, suposedly in 30+ years, the first thing to come out of daniels mouth is QUOTE "u still got those golden locks huh?" WHO SAYS SHIT LIKE THAT DANIEL FUCKING SAN

also amandas immediate reaction "your pretty boy rival?" like. can we talk about the fact that daniel had to have imparted to his wife the very important information that his high school bully/karate rival was like Really Cute and Fucking Hot Actually

the writers Knew exactly what they were doing and honestly.............. power to them

tkk director voice: and billy was just so cute

also I was thinking that daniel sounded strangely fond in that first scene, and i wonder if he developed a weird affection for johnny on the grounds that of all of his Karate Rivals johnny was actually the only one who didn’t actively tried to literally kill him

i was actually delightedly surprised with how great the chemistry between them is, like from the get go i am Invested. their rl friendship totally bleeds through and its fantastic

. granted, idiots enemies to lovers friends is my Thing so i am biased

johnny lawrence: i am down in the dumps, i fucked up my whole life and my sons probably, largely in light of the trauma that the father figure sensei and the philosophy of my karate inflicted on me and all my friends. u know what i should do, as a traumatized, unreliable mess of an adult? teach that same philosophy to some other kids! what could go wrong!

but really i enjoy the setup of it. i kinda like that i watched it late because, season 1 was johnny setting himself up for failure in a way and it was exciting to watch it all go to shit sjfn

Like. his heart might be in the right place, but theres just.... not a way to teach something like ‘strike hard, no mercy’ and not have it fuck up a kid

case and point: aisha, miguel and hawk become annoying as all hell over that bullshit in the end of s1, even before shit gets truly fucked up

billys subtle panicked eyes when he sees hawk and miguel fighting dirty in the all valley was SO GOOD especially in parallel with the panic that is so visible in his face in the movie when kreese tells bobby to injure daniel and in the sweep the leg scene

seen people question wether kreese should have returned and i absolutely think he needed to. johnny needed to realize that cobra kais fundamentals are flawed, at the root, beyond kreese himself being a toxic piece of shit

also who are we kidding? we are here to see the tkk characters play on new playgrounds!

i get what they're doing abt kreeses backstory, ( also. cobra kai. pq eles caem nas cobras djjs sorry) but did it need to take up that much time? feels like they couldve done it in half the run time and developed some other stories better

martin kove has such an evil eye. i love it

love that we get a good follow up to kreese breaks johnnys trophy and tries to CHOKE HIM in the parking lot, which happened in the movie and then....................... was never mentioned again

“the gang is all back together again” aaaa u piece of SHIT

also. terry silver is definetely appearing ha ha ha PAIN i cant wait

seen ppl say kreese was too much of a cartoon villain like..........................oh......... sweetie........... u dont even Know

interested how johnny will fit into that bc kreese was simping rly hard for johnny here. like i did not expect him to be so adamant to have him with cobra kai ... under his control, sure, but he really wants johnny by his side despite already having control of the dojo and how will terry silver self appointed jon kreeses forever simp going to feel abt that?

like bitchs dropping by every episode like ‘joooooohnny ..... come bacc to me joooonny......... this ur last warning! for real this time johnny! i wont say it again! watch me ! im leaving johnny! im rly leaving ! im dragging a chair” and johnny is just like. dont let the door hit ya bitch it was so funny pls

and on that subject oof, johnny! doesnt! Know! he doesnt get that side of daniels cobra kai trauma. and i kind of.............. cannot wait for ck 2021 johnny lawrence to meet terry silver like. what a shit show i need a front row seat and popcorn (imagine terry tries some greasy charm and johnny just roundhouse kicks him in the teeth bc he just doest Not Have the Patience for This. glorious)

feels like we, as a society, should acknowledge that cobra kai will never die................ bc their sense of design is just chefs kiss. their name is COBRA KAI. they have sexie sleeveless black gis. theyve sneks. colorful leather jackets with embroided naja insignia, the get ppl thru the aesthetics. evil geniuses

the flashback cuts : masterpiece behavior

the other takes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the movie!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the differente angles!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! of the FIGHT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THE CLOSE UP ON JOHNNYS FACE AT THE KICK

that scene of daniel and johnny vibing to 80s music in the car. just. oh my god. the fan wish fullfilment. no thoughts head empty.

the new characters! theyre .... good. but. idk. i really like miguel (save for the annoying phase mid s1 - end s2) and amanda, who is a damn riot and has some functioning braincells, but everyone else is

like dont get me wrong, i dont hate anyone,its not a jane and rafael from jtv situation, and i am interested and invested in their arcs, but i wouldnt say i like Like them, as in, personality wise

like, sams grappling with ptsd was rly gutting and i enjoyed that plus her slight rage issues,

which nicely parallel torys rage issues. torys background is all over the place tho so im pretty on the fence abt her so far

robby deserves better in every way, and i like how smart and cunning and surprisingly sweet he is

hawk............... is there i guess,

demetri is annoying in the best way possible,

carmen is sweet but. i just feel like her character is blunted to make the johnny relationship easier. like when shes furious with him after miguels injury but then forgives him like an episode later? and then convinces him to fight for the tournament bc she had a karate epiphany off screen even tho she was always against it? meh. feels like with the plot thiccening she was swallowed and now shes like a crutch for johnny mora than anything, which is disappointing.

aisha was cool and im kinda mad she wasnt in s3, especially bc a storyline with her tory and sam was like RIGHT THERE , but also... cant say i was super super fond of her... doesnt feel like we ever spent enough time on her

moon the bi icon,

overall its a good cast but the main draw for me remains the og cast

the tory/sam miguel/robby Thing. enjoy how theyre Narrative Foils and i like how their stories were so dramatically entangled but oh god give me a break with the teenage love square for the love of god. if u gonna put us through that at least have the decency to not make it so straight

and honestly some sam/tory miguel/robby romantic tension would even make more sense. just saying!

also im not sure how i feel abt the cobra kai: red miyagi do: blue theyre going with since some of daniels most iconic looks in tkk are also red. like it was a color they (johnny and him) sorta shared. i get it, opposite but complementary but idk... a little too fire nation and water tribe for me .

and like the cobra kai kids are so funny abt it bc their outifts grow progressively more ridiculously coordinated. its like do they group chat every morning before leaving their houses?

robby still sticks out like that tho. he went thru an athleisure/daniel san tsleeves phase and now hes back in the bandts grunge, but his color scheme doesnt fully blend with the other cobra kais. hmmmm.

LOVED LOVED LOVED both the okinawa episode and the cobra kais easy rider episode just such good good heart aching fun

bobby is an icon. he was in tkk and he is now ck hope appears more and more

tommy is like the most iconic background character. all his lines, freaking gold then and now. sigh :(

the framing in the okinawa trip was so good everything was so good

i stand by the fact that kumiko was the love interest daniel had the most chemistry with and shes is overall such a joy to watch, loved to see her again, idola, fashion icon

also tkk ii is good u guys are just mean

also really enjoyed chozens role in the episode, his evolution; i love that they introduced the pressure points (ty lee the blueprint) and! the honk + karate! cousins! absolutely iconic

when kumiko reads mr miyagis letters........ oh my god, my eyes FILLED with tears, it was so heart wrenching :(( tamlyns delivery was so emotional and lovely and its so obvious everyone involved in ck has so much love and respect for pat morita and mr miyagi as character, and i adore that it exists like this electric current through the show

when we were watching i told my sister i thought that ali would be miguels big shot surgeon and ngl i am so disappointed that didnt happen. hire me cobra kai writers

also the johnny ali daniel amanda chemistry? off the charts

AND the sassy retconning of daniel and alis breakup! LMAO ‘I HOPE U DIDNT TELL MR MIYAGI IT WAS MY FAULT’ HFDJJGNKFKSD

i am preeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeetty sure back injuries dont work like that but oke

daniel and johnny are so good together whenever, like they never actually help the kids or get shit done and end up fighting anyway but its just so much fun when theyre hanging

JOHNNY LAWRENCE AND DANIEL LARUSSO FIGHTING TOGETHER

daniels “plan” on how to get robby to juvie was so stupid. literally were u TRYING to make him hate you. dumbass

parents at those hearing rly brave for ppl that did not do ANYTHING as their kids got involved in a karate gang war until now

“bullshit i heard u were the real bully!” i mightve screeched

this s3 ending was SO DRAMATIC omg

everyone is such a MESS go to THERAPY u unhinged motherfckers

also im sorry but uh. a richass neighborhood in california doesnt have some type of neighborhood watch? the larussos rly dont have any security at all? neighbors wont hear the sound of a damn karate brawl happening next door??? also wasnt tory all like ooo i cant go to juvie, my mom yada yada yet shes always running around town getting into fights even at the rich girls house she was kicked out of school for fighting?? ? ?? ?? ? ? ? ?? ? ? girl??

stop destroying the larussos house, its so pretty :((((

sam finding her center looking at mr miyagis picture... uwu maybe

robby yelling ‘U ARE WEAAK’@ johnny \as he is easily blocking him is like.... so funny and so sad to me. sweetheart.

also i know it was meant as ‘oh johnny pushes him and HURTS HIM’ but it just looks like robby runs himself into the lockers and IM SO SORRY I FEEL SO BAD BUT IT WAS SO FUNNY

i like that he and tory are the cobra kai kids now. we need ppl we care abt there to not revert to a good vs evil schtick, and this is the most engaging it could be... tho it hurts that these kids cant catch a break

ah yes "lets bet some real shit on the result of this teen karate tournament bc that is always a great idea" is BACK

so daniel saves johnny from kreese..... maybe johnny will save him from terry 🧐

and dojos unite ohohoho. lets SEE how that’ll work out

miguels face of Despair when the ck defectors and the md kids are bickering like 'this is never gonna work' : gold

also. Johnny Lawrence is gonna learn some myiagi-do karate AHAAHSJAKDFH

ive been waiting for this moment all my lifeeee oh lawrd

final thoughts! there are def things i hope the writers will improve on the next season, but i am very excited for it either way AND i feel like it has made me enjoy the movies even more and that is a win for a reboot/sequel to me!!

#m.#did i procrastinate watching this since it came out and only watched it now bc my sister nagged me to when i said we should #watch karate kid over the holidays?#and then binged the whole thing in two days??#mayhaps and what abt it #cobra kai #the karate kid #its funn #y bc like karate kid is a Childhood movie but i wouldnt say #it was like particularly special for me?#like i wasnt in a fandom or anything #but now.#i might be invested #maybe #talvez

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moneymingyu · 4 years

Text

Like in The Movies

summary: in which hoshi watches way too many romance movies and has too many friends who like to watch him suffer.

word count: 2.7k words

pairing: nonidol!hoshi x reader

genre: fluff, comedy

a/n: not very proof read bc i’m super exhausted and my eyes are barely opened atm.

master list

Hoshi has always had this romanticized version of himself playing in the back of his mind.

The cool dude next to the jukebox with a leather jacket who flips a coin then plays the soundtrack to his life. The guy who you spill coffee all over in a Seattle coffee shop then exchange numbers as a form of an apology. The best friend you ask to fake date before realizing he’s been the one for you since day one. The enemy to lover, the boy next door, the childhood best friend you reunite with after years of separation. He partly blames it on all of the movies he watched growing up. A guilty pleasure of his has always been romance movies that he’d watch deep into the night when everything was still and calm. His favorites were the kinds that had him struggling to keep his hiccup at bay, the kinds that made him cry so hard that he’d wake up the next day with swollen eyes and a headache.

“Aren’t you tired of these movies?” Jihoon, his long time best friend and roommate, would ask.

“Never,” Hoshi would reply, unashamed.

He’s seen them all. The Notebook, More Than Blue, The Names of Love, Love Actually. Hoshi can quote them line by line with the same blocking. His friends think it’s impressive but Jihoon is tired of walking into the kitchen at 2AM just to see a Broadway musical in place.

So you’d think that somebody who is basically a book smart Romeo would have a better dating history but...Not Hoshi.

Look. It’s not Hoshi’s fault he’s so awkward. He didn’t ask for the lonely life! The lonely life chose him! So what if romance movies are the only way that he can feel butterflies in his stomach. Whose business is it other than his own?

“Hey Hosh! Remember that time freshman year your crush asked you to the spring fling and you responded by doing a tiger growl at them?”

“Oh my god, I almost forgot about that!” Jun covers his face, bursting into giggles at Jihoon’s trip down memory lane. “He got called a furry for the rest of the year!”

“Oh yeah? And who sat and ate lunch with said furry for the rest of the year?” Hoshi crosses his arms. “Till the day, you’re still eating lunch with the said furry!” A few head turn their way, giving the table an incredulous look. Hoshi sinks in his chair, silently wishing that the floor open and swallow him hole.

“Well maybe that’s because said furry is paying today,” Wonwoo smirks, swiping a fry from Hoshi’s plate.

“Aw, not you too!” Hoshi pouts. “Wonwoo, I put all my faith into you and this is what I get? Slander like a salamander?”

“I’m sorry, what?” Jun (who, in Hoshi’s opinion, has said way more questionable things) asks with raised eyebrows.

“Nevermind. It sounded better in my head.” Hoshi sighs, pressing his fingers to his temples.

“C’mon Hoshi,” Wonwoo leans his head on his shoulder. “You know I was kidding. I would sit with you even if you were a real furry.”

“Can we stop talking about furries?!”

“Yo. What do you got against furries? We don’t kink shame around here.”

“Jun, if you say one more thing, I’m going to do an eagle screech right here.”

“That’s not really helping with the furry situation,” Jun mumbles under his breath.

Hoshi decides right then and there that he needs to invest in new friends for the sake of his sanity.

“I’m sure somebody likes you, Soon!” Seungkwan offers. “What about the dance studio? Lots of potential there,” he shimmies his shoulders while Dokyeom nudged him from the other side of the couch.

These are his people, he thinks as they watch My Sassy Girl for the tenth time this week.

“He’s right! You’re always a ball of confidence there! Why not try to pick somebody up? Oh!” Dokyeom looks like a lightbulb has gone off inside his head. “What about the receptionist? They’re cute! I heard they’re single too and with Valentine’s Day coming up-“

“Dokyeom! Don’t talk about the V word!”

“Virginity?”

“The other V-word!”

“V-vagi-“

“VALENTINES DAY!” Seungkwan smacks his hand over his mouth like the saying had seared his tongue.

“Oh my god, Valentine’s Day is coming up!” Hoshi whines, pulling his knees up to his chest and burying his face in them. “I’m going to be alone again!”

“Hey! You always spend Valentine’s Day with us!” Dokyeom frowns.

“We’re going to be alone again!” he moans out.

Seungkwan scoffs. “Speak for yourself. I have a date.”

This causes Soonyoung’s head to snap up. “Huh? A date?” Seungkwan nods, crossing his arms and turning his nose up. “Ah, c’mon! Who is it! You know you wanna tell us!”

“I would tell you if I knew who it was,” Seungkwan sighs, falling back into the couch. “Vernon and Dino set me up on a blind date. Wait? Should I ask them to set you up on one too? You know, Dino’s really good at using Tinder. He made me a profile and then swiped with matches for me and now I’m going on a blind date! Wait, should me and Dokyeom make you one? Quick Dokyeom, what would be the anthem to Hoshi’s life?”

Hoshi gawks at how quick his friends are to move. Seungkwan already has the dating app open while Dokyeom searches up the Les Misérable soundtrack. “Can you guys not?” Hoshi frowns.

But it’s too late. His words are unheard as Dokyeom starts to belt out the words to “Do You Hear the People Sing?” all while Seungkwan is editing pictures of Hoshi for his profile picture.

Hoshi decides right then and there that he needs to invest in new friends for the sake of his sanity.

“Thanks for inviting me out, Joshua! I needed some new shoes.”

Joshua is one of the sanest people Hoshi knows. Hoshi thinks it’s because he’s from LA and the people from LA in all the movies he’s watched are super carefree and accepting.

“Don’t mention it,” Joshua smiles while shoving his feet into a pair of slides. “Jeonghan broke my slides yesterday while taking out the trash and tried to pin it on Kkuma. Seungcheol then lectured us for two hours about how we shouldn’t blame things on his daughter then made Jeonghan transfer me the money.”

“Isn’t Kkuma a dog?..” Hoshi smiles from the bench across from him.

“You know Cheol,” Joshua chuckles. “Actually, I also invited you out because I have to ask you a favor! You can object, of course, and I won’t be mad.” Hoshi nods, signaling the older to go on. “Well, actually...The three of us are going away for the weekend. And we usually ask Mingyu and Myungho to watch Kkuma when we’re gone but Myungho has this giant art exhibition and Mingyu’s working double shifts at his bakery so-“ he shrugs. “I think you know where I’m going with this. Could you dog sit Kkuma for us? I’m sure Jihoon will be fine with it. But if you have plans for the Valentine’s Day weekend-“

“No!” Hoshi sighs in relief. “Please give me Kkuma. I’m begging at this point!” Joshua laughs, nodding his head. “You really saved my ass, hyung. The guys are trying to set me up on a blind date but I checked out Seungkwan’s phone while he was in the bathroom and none of them were my type.”

“Consider it a deal,” Joshua smiles, reaching across and ruffling his hair. “Knew I could count on you, Soonie.” Hoshi smiles. He’s so glad to have a friend like Joshua. He really keeps his sanity in tact.

Hoshi decides right then and there that he needs to invest new friends for the sake of his sanity.

Kkuma has been barking nonstop all night, whining and crying and even peed in Hoshi’s brand new pair of shoes.

Hoshi doesn’t even know why Kkuma hates him so much but the dog’s antics are enough to have Jihoon packing up and telling him he’ll be back Monday afternoon before leaving to Jun and Wonwoo’s apartment. To make matters worse, Joshua told Hoshi that their trip was technology free so that they could “become spiritually woke.” So any hopes of calling for advice is hopeless.

Hoshi doesn’t understand why Kkuma hates him. He’s a very likeable guy, in his opinion. Bobpul (Mingyu’s dog) would never treat him like this.

“Kkuma, please!” he whines. “I’m standing up a date for this! Please spare me some mercy!” he cries out. The dog jumps up and barks repeatedly. He rubs his eyes over his face. “I don’t understand how something so tiny can make so much noise!”

He rubs his temples. “Okay. If I were Seungcheol, what would I do? Think like Seungcheol. What would Seungcheol do?” Hoshi pouts his lips, puffs out his chest and lowers his voice. “Yah! Kim Mingyu! Watch where you’re walking!” he imitates him from the thousands of times the group has hung out.

He holds the position for a couple of seconds before deflating. “I can’t even hear myself think!” he groans over the barking. “You haven’t even slept yet! Aren’t you tired?” Suddenly an idea pops into his mind.

“I know! Let’s go to the park! Maybe that’ll tire you out! Would you like that? Let’s go!” And they’re off within ten minutes.

It’s a nice day out, thankfully. Warm but not too hot. And though Kkuma is jumping with joy to be at the park, Hoshi thinks he’d rather be at home listening to the dog’s endless whining when he sees the grassy area is packed with couples having a picnic.

He can’t hate, honestly. Picnics are cliché and Hoshi is all for clichés. But it does remind him that today is Valentine’s day and he’s the only one here without somebody to hold hands with.

“Kkuma, you’ll be my Valentine. Right?” he asks as he unclips her leash. But sadly, the dog has other plans as she runs off to play with another dog.

He sighs, plopping down in the grass and picking at the blades. He can’t believe that Kkuma ditched him. After Hoshi bought a new frisbee just for them to play with! He’s deeply offended and will not let Seungcheol live it down when he comes back.

He gives up trying to braid the grass and leans back on his hands, watching the other couples and making up stories about them in their head. He guesses how they met, what their plans are for the day and almost plays it out like a movie in his head.

He’s contemplating becoming a director but then decides that’s too hard and decides maybe he should try writing fanfiction on Archive of Our Own. He’s already picking out his favorite ships from Monsta X when he suddenly hears a shriek from behind him.

“Oh no!” the person whines. “I can’t believe I stepped in dog-“

“Shit!” Hoshi pops up as he sees Kkuma standing at the sidewalk. He sees the disgruntled look on your face then looks down at Kkmua, who looks the happiest she’s been since Hoshi got her. “Hi!” he says rather worriedly. “I’m so sorry! This is my fault! I wasn’t watching Kkuma and to be honest, this dog kind of hates me but here!” He shoves a packet of tissues he had in his back pocket into your hands. “You can have these! Wait I think I have wet wipes in my bag. Just give me a second and,” he drops to his knees, fumbling with his backpack, “Kkuma is just a baby but I promise she’s not usually like this! She’s so well behaved but I think she has some kind of hidden agenda against me because her dad took me out to eat pork belly the other week. Oh! Here they are! Here, do you want me to wipe it off for you? I don’t mind! It’s my fault and plus, I’ve been picking up Kkuma’s dog poop all day. For somebody so small, she sure does poop a lot! And-“ Hoshi suddenly freezes, a heat rising up from the back of his neck onto his cheeks and into his ears.

Seriously?! he thinks. You seriously went on a rant about dog poop! Just when I thought I had some hope in you, Soonyoung, you prove me wrong again! You’re gonna die alone! You hear me? ALONE!

Hoshi slowly brings himself up from his kneeling position. “I mean...” he awkwardly laughs. And to his surprise, you laugh back. But not in a mocking way like people usually do. You seem genuinely amused by his rant.

“Hey, it’s fine. I’m over it,” you giggle. “I just have to be dramatic about it first.” Hoshi nods slowly, too scared to say anything else. “My names YN.”

“Soonyoung,” he bows slightly. “But my friends call me Hoshi.”

“Oh! Like tiger gaze?” you ask, making claws at him for emphasis.

“Oh! Uh! Exactly, actually!” he grins.

You nod. “I think I’ve heard of you actually,” you explain. “My friend works at Seventeen Dance Company and he’s always talking about his funny friend Hoshi.”

“Oh? Who’s your friend? I must know them!”

“It’s Minghao,” you reply. “I was actually on my way to his art exhibition.” Hoshi nods his head, understanding. “Were you not going to go?”

“Myungho doesn’t like when our friend group goes to his art exhibitions. We got fired after Mingyu had one too many drinks and started to strip talking about some ‘life imitates art’ while standing next to a bust.” His face flushes an even deeper red. “I’m sorry! I don’t know when to shut up sometimes. I’m not good at this.”

You shrug, “I’m having fun.”

“Really?” Hoshi gasps.

You nod. “Yeah. Now c’mon, give me those wet wipes. You’re gonna come with me to Hao’s event. He told me I can bring a plus one and the venue is pet friendly!”

“And that’d how I met YN!” Hoshi grins at the round table of his friends.

“I can’t believe romance movie enthusiast met the person of his dreams over dog poop,” Jeonghan scoffs. “I’m taking full credit for this relationship, by the way. I call best man at the wedding.”

“What? Why do you get credit?!” Seungkwan rebuttals.

“Because the weekend get away was my idea,” he smirks.

“Yeah well Kkuma is my dog so I should be the best man!” Seungcheol argues.

“Hold up. If it weren’t for me and Seungkwan making Hoshi a tinder, who knows what would’ve happened this weekend while he was avoiding us,” Dokyeom points outs out, crossing his arms.

“But Vernon and I were the ones who taught Seungkwan how to even use tinder!” Dino retorts.

Jun scoffs, “You guys wouldn’t even know what tinder was if it weren’t for me and Wonwoo.”

“But I’m his roommate so I get automatic best man rights,” Jihoon says.

“Yeah but YN is my friend and she was heading to my exhibition so by default, I’m going to be the best man because I didn’t even kick Hoshi out when he showed up.”

“Yeah, still offended,” Mingyu rolls his eyes. “How many times do I have to say sorry until you accept my apology?!”

“Until I’m not known as the artist who had a quote unquote ‘model’ take his clothes off in the middle of my show so that I could prove that life can imitate art!”

Hoshi shakes his head and laughs as the argument wages on with you tucked under his chin.

“Are they always like that?” you whisper, looking up at him through your lashes.

“Yeah but...I don’t think I’d trade them for the world,” Hoshi replies, smiling.

It’s right then and there that Hoshi decides that he has all the friends that he needs and for the sake of his sanity, he will have to keep them. They did, after all, lead them to you.

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misssophiachase · 4 years

Photo

For KC Bingo @klaroline-events - “Throne”

He’s a Prince hiding out from a pending arranged engagement in downtown NYC and she’s a school teacher minding her own business. On FF and AO3

Art Imitating Life

St John Atelier: Soho (Manhattan) New York City, NY

“Please tell me Rebekah doesn’t know your whereabouts?”

“That’s really the first thing you’re going to say after I’ve travelled 3,500 miles to visit. I know my younger sister scares you but...”

“She doesn’t scare me, well not that much,” he mumbled. “Did I mention how good it is to see you, Niklaus?”

Klaus had barely stopped to think before hastily packing his belongings, offering a feeble excuse and boarding a private flight to the United States. First stop, Enzo St John’s Atelier in downtown Manhattan.

Klaus had met Enzo in Paris where they both studied art at the Sorbonne ten years earlier. They had immediately hit it off and formed a solid friendship that transcended many different time zones over the years.

Enzo moved to New York three earlier to start his own art school and gallery. He wanted to support and promote local and upcoming artists who couldn’t afford to do so themselves. Klaus had championed his friend’s endeavours over the years and wished he had the freedom to pursue something similar.

Unfortunately, the Prince of England had other more pressing priorities.

“Better late than never I suppose,” he muttered. “I hope you don’t mind putting me up for a few weeks?”

“How about I stay in the Royal Suite at the Waldorf Astoria, that your aides have no doubt already booked, and you can stay at my lowly loft in Tribeca?”

“Always about you, isn’t it, Lorenzo?”

“Well, when you’re the best friend to a Prince it seems fair,” he teased. “So, can I ask why you’ve decided to show up unannounced at my atelier? And might I also add, where is your usually extensive entourage? I may be fit but not enough to protect you from out of control females throwing their panties at you on the street.”

“You really love the sound of your own voice, don’t you?” He joked before answering one question at a time. “Vacation to avoid my upcoming, arranged engagement. They are in England but I have two bodyguards Scotland Yard insisted upon and my life isn’t a Tom Jones concert, there is absolutely no throwing of undergarments just FYI.”

“Damn, I always hoped there’d be panties.”

“Nice to see nothing ever changes with you,” he chuckled. “And if I didn’t mention it earlier, Rebekah sends her kindest regards.”

“I’ll bet she does,” he smirked knowingly. “Your sister really can’t get enough of me. Now, how about we get a drink and discuss this engagement? I’m assuming I'm the best man and have approval over all bridesmaids?”

“How about we drink here?”

“Worried about those panties, hey?”

“You know me too well. Let’s just say I’m keeping a low profile,” he murmured, tapping his New York Yankees hat. “Also, I seem to recall a bloody expensive bottle of single malt, top shelf whiskey I sent over for your birthday.”

“Do you really think I’d save that? Although, I do have a less expensive bottle of middle shelf whiskey, Your Highness.”

“I suppose that will have to do.”

2 seconds later

“I don’t understand why you can’t tell Esther and Mikael that it’s the twenty-first century and you’re far too old to be beholden to such an outdated practice like an arranged marriage.”

“You’ve met my parents,” Klaus growled. “Their greatest joy in life is to make me do something I don’t want to do and after Finn decided to elope with a questionable commoner and Elijah entered the priesthood, they’re worried I’m going to do something similar.”

“So, what you’re really telling me is that they’re more worried that, if you go rogue, Kol will be the only hope of carrying on the family tradition and it scares the bejeezus out of them?”

“Exactly.” Enzo didn’t respond immediately, just let out a knowing laugh. “So, you see my eternal dilemma.”

“Tell me with the impending nuptials you’ve at least met your bride-to-be for more than five minutes?”

“It’s rather difficult when she lives in Bulgaria,” he replied. “Tatia Petrova is beautiful, that much I know, but other than that we have nothing in common.”

“Now I know what this is about,” Enzo grinned. “You sly dog, you’ve come to the states to find yourself an alternative wife.”

“An alternative wife? Someone has clearly been watching too many of those romantic comedy movies.”

“It’s called a rom-com, Your Royal Highness, and one of the most popular movie genres.”

“Well, whatever they are, I am doing no such thing. Also, never call me that, it always seems so tawdry when you utter it. If you must know I needed a break from all the pressure, some time to unwind and pretend I’m not a Prince and have a life of my own.”

“Sounds just like the plot from a rom-com” he teased. “All we need is a strong, intelligent, independent, beautiful and slightly feisty woman to come into the atelier and sweep an unhappy Prince off his feet.”

“Do you ever think you’re working in the wrong industry?”

“So, what exactly did you tell Esther and Mikael you were doing?” He asked, choosing not to respond to his smart comeback. “They know from experience that I’m an incredibly bad influence over you, Niklaus.”

“Exactly why they have no idea I’m with you.”

“You lied to the Queen? Wow, I don’t want to be around when she catches you out and she will because, if you hadn’t noticed, everyone knows who and what you are.”

“I said I was going to a world-class meditation retreat in Sedona to relax before the big announcement.”

“So, not only does she think you’ve taken up meditation, she thinks you’re in Arizona and not with yours truly in New York?”

“That’s about the gist of it,” he replied simply. “So, I was thinking it might be best to stay indoors, order copious amounts of Uber Eats and paint so I don’t draw attention to myself. I’ll only burden you for a couple of weeks, Lorenzo.”

“Do you even know how to order UberEats?” Klaus rolled his eyes by way of response. “Wow, that’s my idea of a wild vacation, Niklaus,” he sighed. “Fine, I’ll keep your secret if you insist. But if the Queen finds out and tries to behead me, I am counting on you to organise a speedy pardon.”

2 days later

Klaus rolled out of bed trying to block out the invading sunlight peeking through the crack in the curtains.

Enzo had kindly offered Klaus his large loft on the top story of the atelier he used to store paintings. A passionate art fan, Klaus couldn’t think of a better place to spend his next two weeks.

He stumbled down the stairs and toward the small kitchenette on the floor below. Being half asleep and struggling with jet lag he didn’t bother to dress. The area was completely off limits to the public and Klaus figured his fitted, grey boxers would suffice in order to get his much-needed caffeine fix.

“Don’t come any closer, I have mace,” a voice warned. Klaus looked up, not expecting an extremely attractive blonde to be there rifling through her handbag. No doubt attempting to find said mace but, by the looks of it, failing miserably. Klaus was tempted to lecture her about carrying around so much junk, as Rebekah tended to do, but thought better of it.

“Hold on,” he murmured, finally finding his voice. “Why are you trying to attack me, last time I checked you’re the one breaking and entering.”

“And last time I checked, you’re not Enzo.” Her expressive, blue eyes ventured lower and Klaus was fairly certain she liked what she saw.

“What gave it away, love?”

“That arrogant self-assurance for starters.”

“Are we talking about the same guy?”

“I know what you’re doing,” she growled wearily.

“And what exactly am I doing, well you know besides trying to fulfil my caffeine fix to ward off this horrible case of jet lag.”

“You forgot to add barely dressed,” she shot back, as a slight blush crossed her cheeks. “No, you are trying to distract me so I don’t mace your ass.”

“And here I thought mace was meant for the face, you Americans are funny creatures. I’m staying here, love, no need to attack me, especially this early in the day.”

“It’s lunchtime,” she huffed.

“Really? It feels so much earlier. Now, maybe I should be the one asking the questions since you are encroaching on my space.”

“Glad to see you’re making friends,” Enzo interrupted. “As the welcoming committee you could have at least thrown on a shirt.”

“I wasn’t expecting anyone,” he hissed. “In fact, she broke in here and threatened to, and I quote, ‘mace my ass.’”

“Why do you have a conceited, half dressed, smart ass in your attic, Enzo?”

“Tell me what you really think, sweetheart,” he chuckled. Klaus thought she was beautiful but her feisty and unapologetic charm was an unexpected and not wholly unwelcome surprise.

“Okay, children,” he chided. “Kl..” Klaus gave him a knowing look, he was supposed to be undercover after all.

“Caroline Forbes this is an old friend from England, although I use the word friend sparingly, uh James.”

“What? Just James? Like Madonna or Cher?”

“Has anyone ever told you that you ask too many questions, Caroline?”

“Says the guy half dressed.”

“You seem incredibly distracted by that fact, love.”

“I have no idea what’s going on here and to be honest don’t really want to know,” Enzo groaned. “But Caroline is one of my students and does a few errands around the place, hence why she has a key.”

“Oh, so you two are...” Klaus trailed off, gesturing between them.

“No!”

“Ew, yuck.”

“Gee thanks, darling, give a guy a complex. We’re friends, well except when she says things like that, it has been since Care Bear demanded I share my artistic gifts with her and I was kind enough to oblige.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly how it went,” she drawled, rolling her eyes for extra effect. Klaus couldn’t stop thinking just how adorable she looked doing it. “I teach at the local public school and given the complete lack of funding for an art program Enzo offered his atelier for weekly classes. Turns out it wasn’t just the children interested in learning.”

“Who knew you had a heart, Lorenzo?”

“And who knew you had a freckle right above…”

“How about I go get dressed? Will that make you both happy?”

“Well, I’m bringing kids here in two hours so I think that might be a good idea,” she replied, a slight smile tugging at the edges of those pink lips. Klaus didn’t respond just shook his head as he took the stairs one-by-one, his caffeine fix a long and distant memory.

2 hours later

Caroline Forbes wasn’t the kind of person to get distracted, in fact she liked to think that her ability to focus was second-to-none. Well, that was until two hours earlier when a shirt-less, English Adonis decided to interrupt her daily routine.

He was clearly a big fan of himself. overly opinionated and frustratingly cocky but Caroline couldn’t stop imagining what it would be like to do more than look at his partially naked body.

Yes, maybe it had been too long, as Katherine would say, but those crimson lips curved into a knowing smile, those disarming dimples and those messy, blonde curls she wanted to run her hands through were flashing through her mind with no sign of stopping.

“Miss Forbes,” she was broken from her thoughts by someone tugging on her dress. “I need to go bathroom.”

They’d arrived at the atelier not long ago. Her class, excited to see Enzo, were milling around the room but her attention was on something else. Or someone else.

Caroline figured he probably had better things to do like sight see but she really didn’t know much about him at the end of the day. She didn’t even know his last name.

There was something else she couldn’t quite put her finger on either, he seemed so familiar, like she knew him from somewhere, which was crazy. Well, she kept telling herself that.

“Okay, Hudson,” she said, “let’s go to the bathroom.” Hudson always needed to go to the bathroom so Caroline wasn’t altogether surprised. As they made their way down the long corridor, she took in the walls filled with art not paying much attention to where she was going and running straight into something. Or someone.

“Oh, I’m so sorry…” Before she could finish her apology she saw his smirk. It was the kind of smirk that screamed you ran into me on purpose.

Bastard.

“Well, that tends to happen when you’re not looking where you’re going.” His smirk only grew wider at that point.

“I’d say it was a pleasure but I’d be lying,” she shot back, that same feeling of familiarity returning. “Has anyone ever told you that you look like someone?”

“Well, we all look like someone,” he answered, his awkward pause not lost on Caroline. “And who is this? A friend of yours?”

“I’m Hudson and I really need to pee.” Caroline watched the discomfort cross his face and couldn’t help but gloat inwardly. That would teach him for smirking at her like that.

She sent him her best counter smirk and ushered her mini companion to the nearby bathroom. At least he was clothed this time but why did he have to smell so damn good?

What she wasn’t expecting was for him to be taking part in the class when she returned with Hudson in tow. It was like he was doing it to frustrate her and it was working.

“I set you up here,” he smiled, gesturing to the easel.

“Oh, I don’t paint during this class,” she stumbled. Caroline loved to draw but only when she was alone and not surrounded by seventeen sets of prying eyes. As a teacher, Caroline knew full well that kids could be the worst critics.

“You should, I can help out with your class if you like?” His blue eyes were gazing into hers now, imploring, pleading almost. What was this guy doing to her? “Or we can share?”

“You don’t want to share with him, Miss, he’s got boy germs,” Lucy cried out from across the room. Trust her children to make an awkward moment more awkward.

“I wouldn’t want you to be subjected to my boy germs, love,” he smiled, his mouth dipping low so he could murmur it in her ear.

“Am I interrupting you two?” Enzo asked, clearly amused by the situation. “Do I need to punish you both because I will.”

“Not at all, Mister St John,” he mimicked, placing a paintbrush in her hand gently. Caroline was struggling to breathe now and not just because of his close proximity but the way his hand grazed hers.

“Miss Forbes and the teacher sitting in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G.” Chanting broke out from the corner of the room and she knew it had to be Claudia, Sienna and Scarlett leading the chorus.

“Ew, gross! Girl germs!” That was Liam, Cory and Jack attempting to drown them out.

“You are unbelievable,” she muttered under her breath, just loud enough for him to hear.

“You really need to stop complimenting me so much, Caroline.” She was trying to ignore just how good her name sounded rolling off his tongue but was struggling to say the least.

“For embarrassing me in front of my students you will pay, mark my words.” He didn’t respond just laughed.

Class passed relatively quickly with only a few more interesting observations from her kids. Caroline found herself enjoying his company, not that she’d admit it.

It was after she’d left the atelier and finished classes for the day that Caroline began to revisit those niggling thoughts at the back of her mind. The ones that kept reminding her just how familiar he looked.

Then it came to her.

2 hours later

“I really should have suspected something, given that pathetic introduction. I mean besides celebrities who really goes by one name?”

“Excuse me?” He asked. Klaus had been minding his business, sitting by the window and nursing a cup of tea. He hadn’t stopped thinking about her since she left with her class and now here she was. “Does Lorenzo know just how much you use his key?”

“Stop changing the subject, Your Highness.”

“Oh, I see,” he murmured knowingly. Klaus would be lying if he wasn’t a little disappointed his cover had been blown. He was enjoying being around her and conversing like two normal people and then she had to throw in those two dreaded words. “You don’t need to call me that. Between you and me I actually preferred conceited, half dressed, smart ass.”

“So do I,” she grinned.

“Please tell me this isn’t going to change things between us because I happen to like those adorable eye rolls and steady stream of choice insults.”

“As long as the fact that I threatened the Prince of England doesn’t come with any kind of serious punishment.”

“Well to be honest, Caroline, I don’t think anyone would believe me if I said you threatened to ‘mace my ass’ between you and me.”

“You’re being awfully cocky for someone who finds himself in a precarious position.”

“And what position might that be?”

“Well, I could blow your cover, tell everyone the Prince of England is hiding out in an atelier in downtown Manhattan.”

“Well, you could but I don’t think you will,” he murmured.

“Well, you did embarrass me in a room full of my students, they may be young but that doesn’t mean they are not going to hold this over me for some time given their extremely long memories.”

“I’ll admit, I could have been less embarrassing i suppose. So, how exactly can I acquit myself?”

“Well, I am behind on my life drawing assignment.”

“So, what exactly are you suggesting?”

He was standing now, his gaze trained on Caroline. She looked beautiful in jeans, ballet flats and a sweater that matched the colour of her eyes perfectly. Klaus had to admit, his mind was going to places they probably shouldn’t be but he decided to blame it on another part of his body that was threatening to betray him.

“You could pose for me, I mean it’s not like I haven’t seen it before.”

“If you liked me all you needed to do is admit it, sweetheart.”

“We’ll arrange some fruit for your nether regions don’t worry, I wouldn’t want to inflate that already sizeable ego any further.”

“So, let me get this straight. I pose for your assignment and you keep my secret?”

“And you also tell me why you’re here hiding out in Enzo’s atelier.”

“Wow, you drive a hard bargain, love, but I’m up for the challenge.”

Turns out one complicated story about an impending engagement and life drawing later, school teacher Caroline Forbes and Prince of England Klaus Mikaelson took commoner/royalty relations to the next level.

In fact, they were both fairly certain they fell in love then and there.

Although his parents fought his wishes initially they came to love Caroline just like he did. Not only that but her grace, kindness and passion for humanitarian causes made her one of the most admired and beloved members of the British Royal Family.

Meanwhile, Tatia Petrova who was also against the arranged marriage, married her bodyguard whom she’d secretly been in love with for years.

And they all lived happily ever after.

#kcbingo2020 #klaroline fanfic #klaroline fanfiction #klaroline drabbles #klaroline #my writing #misssophiachase #art imitating life

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beautyinthediss0nance · 3 years

Text

Tales From the Ex-Crypt Vol. 9

Wow.. volume 9.. I'm going to wrap it up with this one because I really don't want to live in the past or think about any of these people any more. I'm happy, even if Mr HTG is still not officially mine, I only want to look forward and these crypts will be closed. There are definitely more stories than the ones I've written here.. but this is the one that people are like "NO.. that only happens in movies!"

So, I was minding my own business at work when one of my regular customers walked in with a friend. They had been at a dinner party, and started talking about winter tires, and my customer said that the friend had to come see me for tires, and proceeded to bring him in. His friend wasn't someone who really stood out to me, there was nothing remarkable to me about him. He was nice enough, mild mannered, tall, blue eyes, great smile (I'm a sucker for eyes and smiles) and we went over some tire options. I sent them on their way with the friend having his quotes in hand.

I didn't really think anything more of it, it was busy (snow) season and I was plenty busy. A week or so later, the friend comes back, he had decided on some tires and steel wheels and put his deposit down on the order. I wrote up the order, and handed him his copy, when he asked "so when do I get to see you again?" and my smart ass responded with something to the effect of when he got his tires on.

I hadn't really paid any attention to him prior to that moment, and he wasn't my "type" at all. I went home, and something kept nagging at me about him, so I sent him a text after getting his number off his order slip. This is not something I generally do, but since he'd already asked me out, I didn't feel like I was overstepping. This was also 10 years ago.

I didn't hear anything back until the Monday, when I got a profuse apology for the delay, and the excuse that he had had his phone stolen while having lunch on a patio over the weekend in a busy tourist town.

We started talking regularly, he came in and got his snow tires in the meantime, and we hung out for our first "date". He told me he was on a joint task force for terrorist threats between the FBI and CSIS and had to travel often as the supervisor of his unit. He said he would try to see me as often as possible but that it wasn't always a lot of time. I didn't mind, as I was busy and we facetimed and talked by text and phone. I never felt neglected.

We dated for a year, our relationship was amazing, we got along so well, and he made me strive to be my best self. I lost a ton of weight, was eating well, and made an appointment with my doctor to get my mental health in check.

We never had sex, we just had incredibly hot makeout sessions. I always thought it was odd that he didn't want to go any further, but he said he had had a bad experience and wanted to wait until we were married. As he was on the smaller side, I figured that had something to do with it, but I was so absolutely in love by that point it didn't really matter.

He had all sorts of pics of him in his flack in his suits, in the cars, with the guns, or just in offices. I'd get a text or call saying he was flying in and was driving to see me, but would only have about an hour or two to spend with me before he had to get back to his team and back on the road. It kept things exciting, and I loved surprise visits when he'd text me at work that he was outside.

I wanted to see him more, of course, especially as things got more intense between us. But it was always a matter of time for him. No matter how awful other things in my life were going, whenever asked how things with him were, I would immediately brighten and say they were amazing.

My anxiety was getting to a very dysfunctional level, and I was struggling hardcore to manage it. I went to the doctor, he arranged for me to begin therapy. He was supportive when I told him. This was around our 1 year together. But the next time I got to see him, I got doused with ice water, when I gifted him with an expensive watch and he told me he wanted to take our relationship back a step because of his schedule. His reason was that I was amazing and I deserved to be able to pursue someone who could give me everything he wasn't able to due to his job. I was blindsided and devastated. Because I loved him so much, and was dumb, I agreed to try. I'm an absolutely all-in or all-out type of personality, there is no grey middle ground for me. It is why I do struggle with FWB and casual arrangements, unless I have mentally steeled myself to be all-out and just enjoy the moment without feelings.

My first year of therapy and into my second was almost fully dedicated to dealing with this trauma. I have never had a break up so devastating. I am pretty sure most of the damage came from the shock, but also from the "trying" to move forward with him flitting in and out of my life instead of just cutting clean ties.

I cried a lot.. I was so stressed my cortisol levels caused my body to produce more than double the healthy level of reverse T3, completely messing up my thyroid and metabolism, I gained weight, lost energy and all the other fall out. It took me years to recover, and moving to NS and stumbling upon a doctor who treated the thyroid issues (which seem to be back in working order now after some thyroid hormone therapy).

I have never ever let someone have so much impact on my life, and the only reason I can ever explain it with was just the depth of love I had for this man. I don't even know why or what sucked me in, beyond his confidence and charm. He was one of the many devil Aquarius that I dated, always trying to prove the zodiac/astrology stuff was absolutely wrong (because I am generally SO drawn to Aquarius and have dated that sign more than any other). The zodiac definitely kicked my ass with Aquarius to show me that I fucked around and found out the hard way for sure.

We did the on and off/casual thing for 6 months before it was too toxic and messed me up too badly and I cut him off. It was about 6 months later he crawled back, and we tried it again for about another 6 months before I broke again and cut him off permanently.

I tried to not think of him, and started trying to move on with dating. My longterm ex and I had become gaming friends again by this point, in a mostly healthy and functional way. He had asked me to get an app called Voxter so he could send me voice messages (pre-imsg) and I had. You have to make an account to use Voxter though, and then the app itself didn't pick up my soft voice so I deleted it. But the account remained.

One day, I get an email that I have a new suggested contact/friend on Voxter. I open the email, and low and behold, it is Mr Aquarius Devil... and I'm like "hmm.. I don't have any of his new contact information in my phone" so I go to my computer and open my gmail.. start typing in his name and up pops this picture:

The fucker was MARRIED... and had a KID.

I will say, that was the BEST closure ever.. I was INSTANTLY over his ass instead of lamenting WHY it hadn't worked and what I had possibly done wrong. What I had done wrong, was fall for a fucking dirtbag.

Now, I work with the public.. and I had lots of regular customers that would ask me how I was and what was going on with me, and share what was going on with them. I was angry, and I showed a few of them this pic and was like "look at this fucker, he has a WIFE and KID" and I think it got back to him.

Two weeks after I stumbled upon this picture on his gmail, I got a full confessional email from him.

Turns out, he had been married for 12 years, and his son was 7 at the time I found out. Not only that, but he wasn't in law enforcement, HE WAS A PASTOR.. He had also gotten busted for sleeping with two women in his congregation, and fooling around with two others. He had lost his congregation and his church was sending him out west to some rehab. His wife was staying with him, and moving out there with him. He basically said it was all a lie (everything) and that his therapist said he had to write apology letters and explain himself to his victims (like myself). He said it was an ego trip to compensate for low self esteem. So basically, I was just an ego boosting toy for him.

A year later, I received a random text message from a southern Alberta phone number. I am guessing it was his wife, as all it said was "Have you been in contact with J***?" and I was like "J*** who?" and never heard anything ever again. But I am sure he was already back to his old tricks.

#talesfromtheexcrypts #vol 9 #the last one I'm writing #Aquarius Devil

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finalgirlagatha · 4 years

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the coven✨

I HAD A LONG ASS POST BUT I ACCIDENTALLY LEFT THE PAGE I’M SO SORRY DIVY IT’S LATE I gotta type the whole thing over again so it’s gonna hit differently 😔

Anadil: starting off with her because i was so excited, Anadil is prominently Hester’s lancer. In case you don’t know, a lancer is the leader’s equal, although less bound to the cause the leader’s fighting for. They’re more bound to the leader (hehe hestadil), and their usually uncaring/ indifferent nature cause the two to clash.

TVTropes says “If the hero is charismatic, they may be a mastermind. If the hero is levelheaded, they may be headstrong. If the hero is rash, they may be a calming influence.” The latter is a very good deecription of Hester and Anadil, with Anadil being more composed then Hester and Dot. I love the idea of Anadil as Hester’s lancer, it really gives them a nice dynamic, even though I understand how Agatha could be Hesters lancer too. Both are good!

Anadil, personality wise, I’ve always aligned her with Mai from Avatar. Specifically, this monologue from the episode the beach (slight spoilers for season three) Mai- What do you want from me? You want a teary confession about how hard my childhood was? Well, it wasn't. I was a rich only child who got anything I wanted ... as long as I behaved and sat still, and didn't speak unless spoken to. My mother said I had to keep out of trouble. We had my dad's political career to think about.

Mai is explaining why she never got to express herself as a child, and even know she repressed her emotions. This resulted in her being called dingy and dull, to which she responds with that monologue. I draw a lot of inspiration from Mai when writing Anadil. I hate the “Her personality is that she has no personality-” no, fuck that. anadil has so much personality buried under the weight of her descendants reputation. the coven knows her, her friends know her. Anadil is the calm to the storm, the levelheaded, smart attacker.

Hester: Hm. Hester. Blunt, rash, tomboy. Eager to pick a fight. Invites conflict. These are all surface level ideas, but using the TVTropes ideas again- Hester is the personification of the Red Oni. (anadil also applies as the blue oni too) “The Red Oni is associated with passion, wildness, and defiance. A Red Oni character is often more brawny than brainy, extroverted, enthusiastic, determined, and filled with a zest for life.“ This is what I think when I write Hester.

I’ve talked about agaster as the red/blue ships, but any hester ship applies to this. Hester is hard to write, but simple if you root yourself in that one concept. It’s fun to write Hester as soman does, blunt and rather- mean, but when you’re writing a oneshot circled around her, you’re really left with nothing. what does hester what? what does she need? What does she stand for?

I don’t even know. This is why writing a Hester- centric story is so hard, because she’s not just this quirky 2000s movie antagist, Hester is so much more then all that surface level stuff- it’s up to how I’m writing her. The objective is always something else.

Dot: I love writing Dot! Whenever I write Dot, I keep in mind her cheerful nature and her optimism, just to oppose her counterparts. While Hester and Dot can match regarding enthusiasm, they oppose on morals. While her and Anadil are alike with their cool headedness, Anadil does it as a choice. Dot is just naturally chill.

But what sets her apart from fitting in with the Evers too is the way she’s grown up, being the daughter of big Never. She has the Never mentality about herself. For example, this quote from day six “Dot can find beauty in them, so why can’t she find it in herself?”

Dot has a relatively nice opinion about other Nevers, she can see the beauty in them, but she can’t see it in herself because the voice of her dad in her head (i know he died but he called dot a bunch of mean words so i don’t stan). She feels inadequate on the inside. I don’t like using this phrase in a serious subject, but yes, Dot has daddy issues. Many of the sge characters do, incidentally.

Her arc is a lot like Agatha’s in the regard to internal beauty and external beauty.

Pick a character I’ve written and I will explain the top ~three to five ideas/concepts/etc I keep in mind while writing that character that I believe are essential to accurately depicting them.

#hhh my first one was better man #thank you for the ask!!#ask game #ren rambles #✨divy ✨#my post

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shirtlesssammy · 4 years

Text

5x05: Fallen Idols

Hey all! Welcome to Hate Watch Week! We’ve picked the best of the worst and are recapping them all week. These are our personal choices, and I’m sure they all (*but one*) have redeeming qualities, we just see the bad more than the good. Enjoy our snark --and join in if you want :) (And if you’re still trying to guess our hiatus theme, this episode doesn’t count.)

Then:

Angst-a-thon!

Now:

We meet Jimmy and his pal, Cal, both race car enthusiasts. Well, enthusiasts for one sports car: James Dean’s Porsche 550 Spyder. While Jimmy runs to get the camera, Cal sits in the car, ready to start the “Little Bastard”. Only, the air gets frosty and the car radio flickers on. We hear a crash and Jimmy heads back to the garage to find Cal’s head smashed into the jagged edge of the convertible’s windshield.

Sam and Dean are on the case! Sam wants to know why this case is so important --what with the devil and apocalypse and all. “This is what we’re doing, okay?” Dean insists. Dean highlights that they’ve been away from each other for a while (*Ahem* maybe I don’t like this episode as much because the last two episodes were just Dean and Cas having fun times together? IDK. 5x03 and 5x04 were a wild ride that I watch over and over again.)

THE HORROR:

They arrive at the local cop shop as FBI agents Bonham and Copeland. The local sheriff shows them the video “evidence” that Cal’s good buddy Jim killed him. The brothers are less than convinced.

The sheriff applied Occam's Razor, and done and done.

The brothers want to interview Jim anyway. He tells them what he heard from the house: tires squealing, glass breaking. The car killed Cal. It’s cursed. Jim mentions that it was “Little Bastard” that did it, and Dean’s eyes light up like a little boy at Christmas. OoooohhhHHHHooo. Dean and cars and, well, don’t tell me he never had a crush on James Dean. We all have had a crush on James Dean. Sam “I can’t be any more straight” Winchester has no flippin’ clue what’s going on. Dean insists they check out the car. Bby boy.

They head to the car, and Dean takes a moment. Sam asks for some exposition. Dean explains that after James Dean died, the mechanic bought the wreckage and fixed the car.

The car fell on him, and death continues to follow the car wherever it goes (Ugh, I just went down a rabbit hole of what happened to the car and am now in a weird spiral of remembering how much I loved James Dean as a teen and how much Rebel Without A Cause meant to me. I’m not 90 years old. What a weird flex for a 1990’s kid to experience. But also not, since Dean’s right there with me, right?)

Anyway, to really confirm if the car was James Dean’s, they’ve got to match the engine number. Dean heads under the car to confirm, begging the car to not hurt him first. Dean takes his sweet ass time being nervous and writing down the engine number, but he makes it out alive. He tasks Sam with tracking down all the owners.

While Dean hangs at a bar, Sam discovers the car is a fake.

Meanwhile, a nerdy man reflects on his day at his desk when the air gets frosty and he hears a creaking behind him. He turns and utters, “Oh my god, it’s you. You’re dead. You’re supposed to be dead.” Is it a long lost wife? An old rival? Nope. It’s a growling Abraham Lincoln. He chokes the nerd man until he becomes a victim of the blood cannon. Better angels of our nature, my ass.

The agents meet the sheriff at the crime scene. They remark that there’s nothing strange about the victim dying of a gunshot wound where there’s no gun, no gunpowder, no bullet. Awkward. The brothers demand a reasonable explanation from the sheriff. He hunkers down and whispers, “Professional killer.” He’s thinking this is a Michael Clayton-type thing. And I love it because that’s the limit of his imagination. Sam and Dean know better but only because they live in the fringe of this world where monsters are real.

Sam and Dean head to interview the victim’s maid, Consuela Alvarez. She’s very distressed, and can only speak Spanish.

Sam pulls out his freshman Spanish to save the day. I only remember “Donde esta el baño?” Good job, Sam! The killer was a tall man with a long black coat and a beard. And he wore a hat. A tall hat. Dean cracks the code: A stovepipe hat like Abraham Lincoln. DEAN BEAN, so street smart he doesn’t even realize how book smart he is. Sigh. “Abraham Lincoln killed Mr. Hill,” Consuela confirms.

The brothers continue to research. Dean watches the car video frame by frame until he finds one frame of a blurred red coated figure ---and INSTANTLY guesses that it’s James Dean ---but like Jim Stark James Dean. It’s not like James Dean wore the damn red coat outside of that movie role, lol. (Sidenote: Fun fact: Fry from Futurama’s coat is modeled after that red coat.)

Sam realizes that they’re dealing with famous ghosts that are killing their fans. (Sidenote: I hope Misha Collins never dies.) The brothers wonder why these ghosts are haunting Canton, Ohio. They do more research.

The brothers head to the Canton Wax Museum. They marvel at all the random wax figurines (and Sam is taller than Lincoln? Hmmm. They’re the same height. #Borisisanerd) Dean makes fun of Gandhi and Sam defends him, but uh, nope, Sam, nope.

The museum curator shows up and the brothers introduce themselves as reporters for Travel Magazine. They’re writing an article on “how totally non-sucky wax museums are.” The curator points out that this place is unique. He points to Lincoln and tells the boys that’s actually Lincoln’s hat. Yep, he’s got real items from all the dead guys.

He’s going to make wax museums hip again. And OMG Sam’s little thumbs up in response. STOP.

Later, Sam loads up on salt rounds and walks in on Dean talking to Bobby about him. Dean gets off the phone fast and dismisses Sam’s questioning about the call. Dean’s not 100% with Sam yet. They head out to finish the case.

At the wax museum Dean starts poking around. Let the tomfoolery begin!

Sam hauls out a metal trash can which they can use to torch all the priceless, one of a kind objects. (History-fan me cringes.) While he’s doing an ultra-close-up examination of Lincoln, the doors slam shut. Suddenly, Gandhi is on him! Gandhi is strong, he’s fast, and he’s out to kill. Dean torches Gandhi's watch and Sam’s attacker winks out.

The next day, Sam mulls over the case in the motel room. Ghost Gandhi's quick disappearance has him troubled. He didn’t flame out like most ghosts, and he seemed almost zombie hungry. Sam thinks the hunger is uncharacteristic given Gandhi's tendency towards fruitarianism. (WWMGD? What would monster Gandhi do?) Dean dismisses Sam’s concerns, and Sam tells him that hunting together isn’t working. Dean doesn’t trust him. More than that, Dean’s trying to stick to their old patterns with the older brother telling the younger brother what to do.

“Before didn’t work,” Sam tells him. That old dynamic chased Sam off into Ruby’s arms. “You’re gonna have to let me grow up.”

Dean’s phone rings. It’s the local cops, calling about another terrible incident.

The Sheriff is…utterly at a loss with this next one. Dean and Sam head into the station to interview two teen girls. They tearfully recount the “horrible” “way horrible” disappearance of their friend who was kidnapped earlier by…Paris Hilton.

Dean and Sam tick the obvious boxes. Paris Hilton isn’t dead, so they’re not after a ghost. Sam suits up in scrubs to do a detailed autopsy of one of the prior corpses. He pulls out two strange seeds from one of the victim’s stomachs.

Sam fills Dean in on the excessive blood loss he discovered (something was feeding) and the seeds. The seeds are unusual, and he takes them back to the motel. There, he discovers that the seeds were indigenous to a forest in Europe, and the forest was ruled over by a god, Leshi. Leshi can take on any form and feeds on his followers. Dean hand waves the shapeshifting explanation for the audience by asking, “So how's he doing it? What, he touches James Dean's keychain and then morphs into James Dean?” Thank you, Exposition Dean!

The Winchesters arrive back at the Wax Museum, this time bearing a nice sharp axe. In a creepy closed exhibit they find the victim and…Paris Hilton. She (He?) takes out Dean and Sam quickly. When they wake a little while later, they’re tied to the fake trees in the exhibit.

Leshi sharpens a blade slowly, excited to do the sacrificial ritual correctly this time. He explains that he’s settled in this town to stuff his face full of worshippers arriving at the wax museum. With the apocalypse nigh, there’s no reason to diet!

Leshi grouses about the poor quality of worshippers these days. Dean fights whining with snark, and Leshi tells him that he worships somebody - his dad. “Poor little Dean. All you ever wanted was to be loved by your idol.” They fight and Sam breaks free and hacks off Leshi’s head.

The next day, we learn that the victim they rescued is going to recover. And even better? The bumbling Sheriff is putting out an APB on Paris Hilton.

At the car, Dean admits his own culpability in bringing about the apocalypse, when he broke the first seal. He apologizes for being preoccupied with the wrong things. Sam responds with the hero speech with which we’re so familiar. “We gotta just grab onto whatever's in front of us, kick its ass, and go down fighting.” Dean’s on board. Hell, he’s more than ready to move forward. He hands Sam the keys to Baby and they roll off to the sweet sounds of Jeff Beck's “Superstition." D’awwww.

These Quotes are Hot:

We’re not your typical cops

Death follows this car around like exhaust

Christine is fiction, this is real

I'm gonna make wax museums hip again

Four score and seven years ago, I had a funny hat

You’re not the first god we've met, but you are the nuttiest

Want to read more? Check out our Recap Archive!

#spn recp #spn rewatch #spn 5x05 #fallen idols #dean winchester #sam winchester #hate watch week #supernatural season 5

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dogbearinggifts · 5 years

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“Dad Sent Me to the Moon” vs. “Because Dad Made Me”

How Luther and Vanya Talk About Trauma, Part One

In this fandom, I’ve heard a lot about Luther and Vanya.

Most of the things I’ve heard about Luther are negative. He constantly whines about his time on the Moon. He won’t shut up about how he had it worse than everyone else. He invalidates his siblings’ trauma. Meanwhile, Vanya is spoken of as if she’s his polar opposite: a kind, timid woman who genuinely did have it worse than everyone else but suffers nobly in silence while quietly ensuring her siblings are okay. I wanted to see if these perceptions were accurate, so I decided to take an empirical approach. During my sixth rewatch, I noted every time Luther mentions the Moon or Vanya mentions her exclusion, as well as how each of them responds to hearing of someone else’s trauma.

I want to stress that I am not out to throw one character under the bus. I’m not out to prove that Vanya is the actual worst and that Luther is the literal best, or that Vanya is amazing and Luther is awful. I’ve just heard a lot about both characters from within the fandom and I want to see how strongly the show itself supports the fandom’s perceptions. I won’t be examining every quote they have, and I won’t be looking at every scene they’re in. A deep study of both characters would certainly be fun, but for now, I’m only interested in how they address their own trauma and how they respond to the trauma of others.

Note: I’ve chosen not to include Vanya’s book as a mention of her trauma. While her book does indeed bring it up and examine it in detail, I wasn’t sure how to quantify it for my own purposes. Do I count it as a single mention, because she only wrote it down once, and thus risk underestimating its impact? Do I count each sale as a separate mention, guesstimate the number based on how many copies sold it takes to reach bestseller status, and therefore grossly inflate her numbers? Because the book is impossible to quantify with any sort of accuracy, I’ve chosen to leave it aside. Rather, I will keep my trauma counts limited to what Luther and Vanya say to friends or family members. This also means I won’t include her voice-over while we see her writing her book, or the moments where she reads excerpts aloud.

I’ve also chosen to write down the exact quote each time Luther or Vanya mentions their respective trauma or respond to someone else’s trauma. I’ll share my analysis, but I also want to give you all the chance to see each quote for yourselves and make your own judgments. You’re welcome to disagree with my conclusions and take or leave them as you see fit. However, because these analyses will become lengthy in places, I plan to do only a few episodes at a time.

Episode 1: We Only See Each Other at Weddings and Funerals

No explicit mentions of trauma from either Luther or Vanya. It’s established that Luther lived on the Moon for a while and that Vanya was raised to believe she had no powers and excluded from the family dynamic as a result, but neither one addresses what they went through.

Episode 2: Run Boy Run

Following the episode opener—a flashback to the day Five time-traveled and accidentally got stuck in the apocalypse—we hear Five share the harrowing details of his time there. Eating cockroaches, subsisting on scavenged food, learning the hard way that Twinkies do in fact expire—it’s pretty awful stuff. After Vanya takes it in stunned silence, we have this exchange:

Five: You think I’m crazy. Vanya: No, it’s just…it’s a lot to take in. Five: Exactly what don’t you understand? Vanya: Why didn’t you just time-travel back? Five: Gee, wish I’d thought of that. Time-travel is a crapshoot. I went into the ice and never acorn-ed. You think I didn’t try everything to get back to my family? Vanya: If you grew old there, you know, in the apocalypse, then how come you still look like a kid? Five: I told you already. I must have got the equations wrong. Vanya: I mean, Dad always used to say that time-travel could mess up your mind. Maybe that’s what’s happening?

This is our first onscreen mention of trauma, and Vanya invalidates it. However, there are some factors to consider:

Five’s story is pretty bizarre. “Yeah, after I ran away from home and time-traveled, I got stuck in a post-apocalyptic wasteland, lived there for 40 years or so, ate cockroaches and bad Twinkies, and then I jumped right back here but because math failed me almost as much as Dad failed at parenting I still look just like I did the day I left. You got any booze?”

There is no evidence to corroborate his story. He looks exactly the way he did when he left, and he has no way to prove he visited the future at all. The most logical conclusion here is that he spent a year at most figuring out how to return and wound up jumping ahead to 17 years after his disappearance.

As we see in the flashback, Five has always been arrogant and headstrong, growing angry when corrected. His anger and impatience toward Vanya’s insinuations that he’s lost his mind are not a reliable indication that he’s telling the truth; if anything, Vanya is well within reason to assume she’s edging too close to a truth he’s not ready to face.

Reginald Hargreeves was a terrible parent. But he was also a very smart man who knew more about his children’s powers than they themselves did. When he said that time-travel could mess up one’s mind, Vanya had every reason to assume he knew what he was talking about.

Reginald often used “YOU CHILDREN MUST ONE DAY SAVE THE WORLD FROM AN IGNOMINIOUS END” to scare his kids into doing the dishes. Not only has Vanya probably had enough of that talk to make her decide the world is going to die a natural death billions of years after hers, but it wouldn’t be unreasonable for her to assume Five’s time-travel-addled mind latched onto those doomsday threats and twisted them into something truly strange.

So, yes, Vanya does invalidate Five’s trauma, suggesting it’s all in his head. But when your choices of explanation are “my brother time-traveled before he was ready and it messed up his mind” or “my brother time-traveled to an apocalypse that’s going to happen in 8 days, lived there for 40 years without ever trying to get back, and now looks like a 13-year-old kid because he got the math wrong,” the former is easier to believe than the latter.

Additionally, we see she genuinely cares for Five. His sudden reappearance, his talk of an impending apocalypse, his story that to her has holes large enough to drive a Volkswagen through—all of that has got to be terrifying. It’s clear she’s not invalidating his trauma out of any sense of malice, but rather concern. If he’s a victim of time-travel messing up his mind, she wants him to get the help he needs (as evidenced by her recommending a therapist later). Her invalidation of his trauma isn’t right, but it’s also a human response that comes from a place of genuine concern and good intentions.

It’s also worth noting that, the very next day, she returns to the Academy to apologize for how she responded to his story. She does recommend a therapist, but only when Five says “Maybe you were right, maybe it was all in my head.”

A few scenes later, we get Vanya’s first mention of her trauma.

Allison: No offense, Vanya, if I wanted advice, it wouldn’t be from you. Vanya: What’s that supposed to mean? Allison: You don’t have a child. You’ve never even been in a relationship. Vanya: That’s not true. Allison: So you know what it’s like to love someone like this? Like, when you’re apart from her, you can’t breathe? Like you would die—and I mean, actually die, to know she’s okay and happy? I mean, you separate yourself from everything and everyone, you always have. Vanya: Because Dad made me. Allison: Did Dad make you write that book about us, too? Pause You’re an adult now, Vanya. You don’t get to blame your problems on anyone but yourself.

The first thing to note about this exchange is that, although it’s Vanya’s first mention of her own trauma, it’s Allison who brings it up first. The second is that when she brings up her trauma, it’s as an explanation for her behavior: I separate myself from everything and everyone because Dad made me.

Vanya is definitely sympathetic here. I’m not going to argue she isn’t. She tries to be nice to her sister, catches her when she’s distressed, and gets reamed out for the attempt. That’s a shitty thing for Allison to do, which she later acknowledges.

However, there’s also their history to consider: Allison is a movie star. As I’m sure we all know by now, image is everything to the rich and famous. I don’t mean that as a jab at their vanity (although vanity is certainly involved, more often than not) but as a fact: They are the product, and their image is part of the advertising. Everything they do in public (and much of what they do in private) is pounced on by the paparazzi and spun into the next big story. And this isn’t always fair to them; a single misspoken word can set off rumors that come back to bite them in the ass.

And Vanya wrote a tell-all book about how Allison treated her as a child.

As we see from the intro sequence in Episode 1, it seems Vanya’s autobiography hasn’t kept Allison off the red carpet. But it would have certainly hurt her public image. While it’s true we don’t know everything Vanya put in her autobiography, we do know Vanya harbors a lot of bitterness and resentment toward her family. We know she sees her siblings as near-strangers who had an easier time of it than she did at best, superpowered copycats of their father at worst. From the reactions we see later on—Diego taping Vanya’s author photo to a punching bag, Ben saying “I can’t believe she said that!” as Klaus shushes him—it’s safe to assume she did not say kind things about her siblings in that book.

If the things Vanya said about Allison matched the things Allison later says about herself—that she used her power to get everything she wanted as a kid, that she grew up spoiled because of it—then that would not have done any favors for her public image. And the paparazzi would have gone apeshit for it. Yes, Allison is an incredibly popular actor, but that doesn’t mean the press wouldn’t have turned on her the second they got a juicy morsel about her past. I imagine her having to field many uncomfortable questions from trashy reporters while out for lunch with friends, having an interview about her upcoming film suddenly turn tense when the interviewer said “Now, Allison, your sister—who none of us even knew existed up to this point—wrote about you in her book, and I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say I want to know more about….” There’s even a chance Vanya’s autobiography contributed to Patrick’s continuing antagonism toward her, since reading a book detailing Allison’s childhood power abuse could have convinced him his wife had always been bad, right from the cradle. (Or it could have fostered suspicion toward his wife and led him to keep a closer eye on her and therefore is the reason why he was close to Claire’s bedroom the night he saw Allison Rumor her, but that’s another theory for another time.)

You might say she deserved it. You might say she’d set herself up to fall and that all Vanya did was push that first domino over. You could even say her house of cards needed to topple, since part of her perfect life involved running roughshod over her own daughter’s free will, and possibly even Rumoring her husband into falling in love with her. Those arguments are absolutely fair, but they’re not my point. My point is, Allison’s harsh words to Vanya in this scene don’t come on her out of the blue. There’s a painful history there—painful for the both of them—and Allison harbors a lot of unresolved anger toward her sister for what she wrote in her book. And I don’t think that anger is unfounded, just as I don’t think Vanya’s resentment toward Allison is unwarranted. What Allison does in this scene is shitty, but Vanya has already done something shitty to her, in retaliation for shit she went through as a kid, and on and on the chain of pain goes. Vanya is far from guiltless in their relationship, but that does not make Allison’s lashing out at her okay.

And this is getting pretty long, so I’ll cut things short here. I’m going to list the count for trauma mentions/reactions below—and since I’ve seen this show multiple times over, I know it’s going to change; so don’t take the fact Vanya’s count is higher than Luther’s as an indictment of her. It’s just where we are at the end of Episode 2.

Own Trauma: Vanya 1, Luther 0 Trauma of Others: Vanya 1, Luther 0

Enjoying this series? Read on to Part Two.

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popwasabi · 4 years

Text

“Do the Right Thing” and “the language of the unheard”

Two things tend to happen following the death of unarmed African American at the hands of law enforcement in this country.

The first are protests that often lead to heightened demonstrations of anger, which lead to police decked out in riot gear to come in and put a stop to it while property and storefronts often burn around them. The second is a condemnation of all that but less so of the brutality that led to the riots but of the riots themselves.

In America, there is a modern philosophy of “civility” at any costs, that even when angry, even when rightfully enraged by the injustices that befall a group of people, you are STILL expected to “behave” and it is YOUR responsibility to stay calm and do the right thing.

“I’m sorry, I agree with you, but I just can’t support you because of the way you demonstrated that belief” are often the words that follow.

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I’m not saying you should ignore all toxic behavior or that you can’t take issue with a movement’s methods, I’ll leave that up to you to decide, but I used to stringently believe this myself. In the wake of the Ferguson riots in 2014 where a Missouri police officer shot and killed unarmed African American Michael Brown for the crime of allegedly *check notes* stealing a box of swishers, I found myself participating in the same tone policing as much of the wider country.

“Yeah, the police were wrong to kill Michael Brown like that but also the protesters have no right to destroy their own city. That’s wrong, they should do it peacefully!” I proudly proclaimed at the time.

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Six years later my feelings on this have taken a complete 180, partially because the circumstances of our times have become exponentially more volatile but it really began with finally understanding an ending to a movie I got around to seeing in 2009; Spike Lee’s “Do the Right Thing.”

Back in the “halcyon” days of 2009 I used to be a part of a small Myspace (yea, I know…) movie club group where we all shared various movie reviews amongst each other upon individual recommendations. One day one of these members recommended watching 1989’s “Do the Right Thing.” Up until that day I really didn’t know much about Spike Lee beyond him being a rabid Knicks fan and opinionated Clint Eastwood agitator but I gave it a watch and I liked it quite a bit.

(Shade you can hear.)

“Do the Right Thing” details a day in the life of Mookie, played by Spike himself, as he navigates his rough Brooklyn neighborhood. Throughout his day, he and his mostly black neighbors, friends, and acquaintances encounter various micro aggressions in the form of gentrifiers, white and Asian store owners who disrespect them despite being their primary customers, widespread income inequality, and of course the police who monitor their every step. The movie examines the intersection of race and how it all comes colliding together when circumstances are less than perfect specifically to those that exist in African American neighborhoods.

I enjoyed this aspect of the film, it felt real and authentic to me, even humorous at times, critiquing the very real issues black Americans face every day while also examining how other groups of people interact with them.

Where I took issue with the film, at the time, was its aforementioned climax.

At the film’s end, tensions have boiled over as Radio Raheem, one of Mookie’s friends, is called the n-word by Sal, Mookie’s white pizza store owner boss, leading to a scuffle between the two of them. Police are then called, pulling Radio Raheem away, nevermind that it was Sal’s words that ignited the fight, and put him in a chokehold and well, you know this story already…

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Finally, the anger that has been rising throughout the film ignites with a growing mob agitated at Sal and his sons who they see as the main instigators. Mookie stands rubbing his face for a few moments before picking up a trashcan and tossing it at the window of the pizzeria, simply yelling “Hate!” as it crashes through.

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A riot of course ensues, as the largely African American neighborhood tear the store apart, looting it of all its material goods before it burns to the ground. The next day Mookie returns to the scene of the unrest to ask Sal directly for his paycheck who angrily tells him his stunt destroyed his business to which Mookie simply retorts “Radio Raheem is dead.” The two argue for a bit but somehow ends with the two quietly understanding each other before they go their separate ways.

For the longest time I couldn’t square exactly with the ending despite my enjoyment of the movie. I never outright condemned the entire film’s message, (some people within that group I spoke of did though…), but I did find myself saying I couldn’t condone how it ended. Afterall, what did Sal do to deserve that kind of backlash, why did his storefront deserve to be destroyed? It had “nothing” to do with Radio Raheem’s death, right?

Fast forward to today and well, my attitude has definitely changed.

At this point I’m not going to spend an entire paragraph describing our current events as you all should be smart enough to know by now what’s going on but an African American friend of mine summed up these past two weeks in the most concise way possible I feel; “the results of oppression, poverty, hopelessness, and frustration is destruction and violence.”

Throughout “Do the Right Thing” Spike Lee shows us a microcosm of the effects of societal neglect and institutionalized racism has on his community. He tells us exactly why Mookie did what he did and yet still largely white viewers, which included myself at one point, were confused by this. At a certain point a person, a group of people, an entire community can only take so much before they take actions into their own hands.

When our white dominated society tells African Americans it’s “inappropriate” to protest during the national anthem, that it’s inappropriate to “make everything about race,”, ask “What about black on black crime,” respond back “#BlueLivesMatter” or “#AlllivesMatter,” when largely white Americans, especially those in power, ignore and refuse to believe all evidence that says otherwise this is what happens. These are the results of the neglected, ignored, and unheard.

(Btw, Roger Goodell can fuck all the way off with his crocodile tears until he gives a formal apology to Colin Kaepernick on behalf of the league, AT MINIMUM.)

There is a rush to judgment when the looting and rioting starts following these tragedies around the country. Nevermind the fact that police are largely the aggressors in all these interactions and attack peaceful protesters who are “doing it the right way” anyways but the blame for the destruction is almost only squared on the rioters themselves.

Cries of “Martin Luther King would have never supported this” and “He would call for peace and #unity right now!” are typical when this happens. King was a far more nuanced and complicated man than the liberal hippie that both Republicans and Democrats liken him to be and when you invoke his name to condemn protesters before the cops who actually started this you, and I cannot emphasize this enough, ARE NOT HELPING.

(If you won’t listen to me, listen to his daughter, you assholes.)

People generally want to empathize with victims but for some reason only want the perfect victim in this country. A victim that is a Saint in real life, lays down, does all the right things, and still gets hurt for it because they are “doing it the right way.” Sometimes victims are imperfect, including people who have been murdered by cops and people who loot and riot, but they STILL deserve to be heard and most importantly they deserve JUSTICE.

Nevertheless, these people are villainized to their most extreme as people are disproportionately being harassed by the cops while it all happens. Again, I cannot emphasize this enough, when you spend more time talking about “good” vs “bad” protesters you are helping those who benefit from maintaining the status quo. They WANT you to make this about those “criminals” and “thugs” who would “destroy our communities.” Nevermind, that upping the militarization of our police force only INCREASES the chances of a protest turning violent anyways.

(Tell me who is this protecting? Who is this serving?)

By making this about the “bad protesters” they drive a wedge between you and the cause so that police brutality can be maintained, so that power structures are not changed, so that you can be “protected” from people who are actually fighting for your rights right now. When the media and politicians use this kind of language, they are giving cops free reign to justify all forms of heinous means of pacifying these demonstrations, including ones that are banned in war. They want you to miss the point, they want you to forget why this started, hell they want you to forget they looted your asses long before the “rioters” looted a multibillion dollar company’s store who has more than enough insurance to recoup their losses anyways.

Spike Lee is often asked about the ending to “Do the Right Thing,” a question I would’ve asked him myself even just a few years ago, and he’s quoted as saying “only white people ever ask me that question.”

MLK’s name is often invoked when shit hits the fan in these demonstrations and while I’ll admit that I don’t like seeing neighborhoods destroyed and certainly don’t like seeing small businesses torn down and looted it’s important that King wanted us to understand why they happen and to keep our eyes on the ball:

“A riot is the language of the unheard” is important in understanding “Do the Right Thing” and this current moment we are having in history. While I have been pleasantly surprised by the near unanimous support Black Lives Matter has had across the board by people I would never thought to become radicalized there are still pockets of people who make this about the “right way” to protest.

To quote Spike Lee even he says he is unsure if Mookie did the “right thing” or not in that situation but he also says, “I know who did the wrong thing.”

Some of you might be saying still that MLK would not have supported these riots and hell, that may be true but need I remind you, there’s a reason he's not here today to tell you himself.

I’ll leave you with the same two quotes Spike left his audience in 1989 from MLK and Malcom X. I want you to read them both thoroughly and see if you have done the right thing yourselves over these past two weeks.

I truly hope you have...

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Love and respect, y’all.

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thehouseofgrey · 5 years

Text

“One of the highest praises we’ve heard about this book, over and over, is how realistic the sibling interactions are. I know you said you grew up as an only child, so how did you capture the essence of life as a sibling in your new book?”

Magnus smiled at the interviewer and the audience beyond the cameras, finding Alec beaming back at him through the crowd. “My partner has siblings. I watched them interact, how they greet each other, embrace each other, speak to one another, as well as how they talk about each other when you get them alone. And what I found was no matter where you fall on the birth order, there’s this sort of fond exasperation that comes with having siblings. I love you, and I kinda want to hit you over the head with this plastic sword, but if anyone else tries to hit you with a plastic sword, I’m going to hit them in the face with a very big rock.”

He was quoting directly from a story his boyfriend had told him several months ago when he was in the editing stages and the editor's notes only said, “make them more like real siblings.”

“Make them more like real siblings?” He looked at Alec in frustration. “That’s the least helpful editing note I’ve ever received.”

Alec laughed at him. “She’s right though. I’ve read your manuscript. They sound like aliens pretending to be siblings. They don’t actually sound like they’ve ever met in their life, let alone lived together for all of it.”

Magnus sighed and threw the notes and the copy of his book he was editing down on the table. “What I’m saying is, there are no suggestions of things to make them seem more like siblings. Just telling me it’s bad doesn’t help me fix it.”

“Come to dinner with me on Friday,” Alec said in lieu of an answer.

“I thought Friday nights were family dinner at your mom’s.”

“They are,” he agreed. “Come. Everyone will be there.”

“Why would I come to the Lightwood family dinner, Alexander?”

“To observe.”

It had been the greatest gift Magnus had ever received. This chance to observe, in close quarters, a natural interaction between real siblings. They made a habit of it. Every Friday, Magnus came to dinner. He learned more about family in two months than he had ever known. When he sent the manuscript back to his editor, she was thrilled. “Now they sound like siblings.”

Alec was a different man around his siblings. Magnus expected his boyfriend to be the same affectionate but no nonsense person who ran his own start-up business. But that was not who Alec was at all on Friday nights. He was truly the big brother everyone wished they had.

“Hey dork,” he said to Max that first Friday evening, leaning against the doorframe of the boy’s room.

“I’m not a dork,” Max insisted even though he was visibly putting back together a computer he had taken apart.

“Yes you are,” Alec chuckled. “And mom wants to talk to you. She’s in the kitchen.”

Max sighed and rolled his eyes but he got up from his desk and gone, shouting “don’t touch any of the stuff on my desk” over his shoulder.

“So these characters are based on real people?” The interviewer asked.

“All the best characters are,” Magnus answered. “At least in part. But, if you’re asking if I based these characters interactions on my partner and his siblings, the answer is yes. Some of them I even lifted wholesale, changing little scenes in the book to match the dialogue. Just to get the authenticity.”

Once, after Izzy missed a brunch with them, Alec had taken Magnus straight to her apartment, pulling a spare key from beneath the potted plant by the door and letting them in. The apartment was dark, but there were clothes strewn all over the floor on their way back to Izzy’s room.

Alec opened the door with no hesitation, Magnus’ bid for her privacy dying on his lips. Izzy was lying in her bed, Clary on one side of her and Maia on the other. Magnus looked away but Alec just looked smug.

“Hey, Iz.”

She sat bolt upright, looking both alarmed and embarrassed. “Get out of my room!”

She threw a pillow at him which he caught easily.

“You didn’t show to brunch. I had to come check on you. Mom would kill me if something bad happened to you.” Then, almost as if it were an afterthought, “And I would miss you or whatever.”

The nonchalance has stuck with Magnus. Alec didn’t care what his sister was doing in her own apartment. He didn’t care that she was naked. He even pretended he didn’t care what happened to her, claiming his mother’s concern and not his own. But Magnus knew his boyfriend. He had seen the worry when she didn’t show and the relief when he saw her in bed. “And I would miss you or whatever” didn’t cover any of that. But there was Alexander with an easy trouble-maker smile, no trace of his earlier panic on him. Like he had just come over to ruin her late morning wake-up sex.

Another time they had gone to the gym where Jace worked as a physical trainer, after some bet between Magnus and Alec about who could bench press more.

“Who are you?” Jace greeted them.

Alec met his joke with a playful punch to the shoulder. “The guy who’s about to win this bet and choose where we’re going to dinner tonight.”

Jace laughed. “I don’t know, Alec; Magnus looks like he could take you.”

“Smart boy,” Magnus agreed.

Magnus had discovered it was common practice for the older siblings to gang up on the youngest. But, Max seemed unbothered by this.

“What’s up, buttholes?” He greeted them when coming to the table.

“Shut up, loser,” Jace replied.

Or another Friday:

“Hey nerd,” Izzy said from that same spot in the doorway where Alec had stood that first night.

“What do you want?” He snarked.

“Fine, I guess we’ll let Magnus eat all your pizza.”

Max lit up and pushed past them in his scramble to get to the dining table.

But it was just as common, Magnus found for them to namecall each other.

Sup bitch.” Alec said when Izzy answered the door.

“Fuck off.”

They entered the house to Max playing video games with Jace on the couch.

“Hey, shithead,” Alec said to his brother like it was a term of endearment.

Without looking up from his game or changing his tone at all, Max responded, “Hey dickface.”

Alec nodded at Jace who at least had the decency to glance their way. “Whaddup, slut?”

Jace just laughed and got back to mashing buttons and killing random baddies on his half of the split screen. “Eat my ass, little brother. I crushed you!”

That was the only time Magnus had heard any of them refer to any other as “brother” or “sister” and it was clearly meant to be a taunt.

The oddest of all was when they all stayed the night at Alec’s loft one night. Alec stood in the doorway of the living room and stared at his siblings who were watching a movie until Izzy noticed him. The silent staring continued for at least fifteen seconds, now mutual, before Jace finally broke it.

“What?”

“What do you guys want for dinner?”

“Bitch…” Izzy scoffed.

Alec left and ordered Chinese, somehow knowing exactly what they all wanted without asking them.

“I had a surprisingly easy time coming up with convincing dialogue for the scenes I couldn’t change,” Magnus continued to tell the interviewer, “once I had spent a couple months observing what it was like to have siblings. It was perhaps the most fun I have ever had researching for a novel. I recommend every only child spend as much time as they can around their friends with siblings, because it’s truly delightful to witness.”

“Well there you have it, ladies and gentlemen,” the interviewer said in conclusion. “Unfortunately we are out of time but you can buy Magnus Bane’s newest book…”

The rest of the promotion was drowned out by uproarious applause and Magnus had the feeling this one would be another best seller. And he had no one but Alexander to thank for that.

——

@kinkymagnus : ask and ye shall receive. Have 1400 words of... whatever this is. This thing I wrote at 3a instead of sleeping.

In reference to this post

#malec #shadowhunters #magnus bane #alec lightwood #malec fanfiction #malec crack fic #shadowhunters crack fic #writer!Magnus #i literally might delete this tomorrow night. im sure its terrible. its completely unedited and probably nonsense #edit: i realized after i posted this that the copy paste had gotten rid of all my italics so i went in and put them back

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swearronchanel · 5 years

Text

the durrells 4.03

relive that hilarious mess right here

Louisa working on her Greek, I’m proud

SPIROS WIFE HOLY SHIT LMAO

I KNEW SHE WAS COMING BUT I WASNT READY FOR HER IN THE FIRST DAMN SCENE

SHES PRETTY & STYLISH TOO DAMN IT

YOU KNOW NOTHING GOOD CAN COME FROM INVITING THEM LOUISA LMAO 🤦🏼‍♀️

Who are these new random boarders at Casa Durrell??

Aw this kid is so cute

Margo casually pulling up to Prue and Geoffrey’s LMAO they’re freaks too but I love it

“I’d like to learn to be more normal” me

Luga asking “me?” My heart wtf I love her

“I know, I hate shopping too” REALLY LES

Leslie just can’t be Larry 😂 Louisa needs Larry so he can say something ridiculous but still true

Louisa knows this is gonna go terribly, I can’t wait? It’ll be a train wreck but the kind you can’t look away from

I am so anxious ?? There’s too much tension already LMAO

AND LESLIE BEING OBVIOUSLY ANXIOUS LMAO

But also Dimitra is serving a look 🤷🏼‍♀️

“Then suddenly there she was by the hanging cheeses” 😂😂

“Why are you telling me that?” LMAO why is this hilarious but also making ME panic

They’re bringing Roger omg lol ofc

Theo IS perfect in every way, I agree

I’d be his mediocre trophy wife

His face tho omg he’s probably going throw up

“Either the clock is very loud or Dorset is very quiet” LMAO MARGO is funny Ok!

Pru angrily knitting is a mood

“I thought Basil was a homosexual” LMAO OK SO DID I TBH

“Don’t try to make me look like the weird one” omg there’s no reason for me to be CACKLING BUT I AM

Why is Basil so annoying? 😂

MORE TENSION ~ but in Greek

“DROWN ME” LMAO

I miss Larry too go get em

Oo a bop 🎙

LMAO POOR THEO OMG

I knew Leslie would take it too far pushing Gerry off the boat 🤦🏼‍♀️

“I will tell people” luga omg 😂

“I’ve been here since 1935” sis snapped

Wait Larry isn’t even there? Rude 🤦🏼‍♀️

“As you say in Greece, bloody rude” LMFAO

WAIT THIS MF IS IN PARIS WHAT LMAO!?! DAMN IT LARRY RUNING EVERY THING

Larry has a picture of Louisa on his desk I am crying bye

and he’s hitting me with a travel quote I’m emo rn 😂😭

“I didn’t hear” Theo is being smart to stay out of it Lmaoo

“It’s hard to stay the right thing” LMAO I FEEL

“Gerry where did you learn that language!?” “.. alright only asking” ME AS A MOM TBH

Where’d all these random goats come from? 😂

“One push and you and spiros could live happily ever after” OK I WAS *JOKINGLY* THINKING IT BUT DAMN LES REALLY SAID IT.. AND LOUISA DIDN’T RESPOND *insert the why would you say something controversial yet so brave gif* !!

But for real Dimitra already knows what’s up but she’ll prob never leave Spiros again just to be petty even tho she’s obviously unhappy

LMAO Basil is just the worst but it’s hilarious

CAPTAIN CREECH LIVES

Creech went to visit Larry and stayed, I love that 😂

HE READ THE LETTER LMAO

OMG DONT SAY ANYTHING OLD MAN AJJA

KSKSK OMG SPIROS CHOKED HIM

The tension is still increasing my blood pressure, I know it won’t happen but I keep feeling like Dimitra is going to bitch-slap Louisa

Poor Geoffrey aw lol no one cares

MARGO TAKING THE PEDESTAL 😂😭 I love her messy self

I know Dimtria is just flirting with Basil in poor attempt to anger Spiros bc it’s cringey to watch 😂

“The little shits” LMAO CREECH STOP

Lawrence get your ass back to Corfu right now

God imagine if Larry was witnessing all this tho omg? You know he’d say something inappropriately funny and I’d lose my shit

THOSE MEN ARE STEALING THE BOAT LMAO OH SHIT

THEY BLEW IT UP OH FUCK

“After all nobody teaches one how to make love” LMAO Margo has some of the best lines ok

Drink up Louisa or start praying LMAO this is a ROYAL ASS MESS

Oh my god Louisa just stop saying Spiros name for (1) second sjskksa

Take a shot every time Louisa says idiot/insults Basil

LEMURS, IT’S THE KING FROM MADAGASCAR ( THE MOVIE )😂

This is such a shit show but I am living for it 😭😂😂 but I’m waiting for (1) thing to go right in the last 10 mins lol PLSS

LMAO THEO ON BASIL’S LAP

I’ve been packed in a car like that so this is so funny to me 😂

This lady is drunk af LMAO

“The car or your wife” OOF LES GOOD ONE

“I’m always the victim” this is why Leslie is the worst LMAO

damn the bitch in Dimitra really popped out

I understand she’s upset like her husband is clearly in love with another woman but STILL she gotta chill

How is walking home proving any point? You’re just gonna get tired lol and be more upset

Maude looking like a devil child not gonna lie 😂 but governesses Margo shall be hilarious I can’t wait

“That’s the best thing about my husband dying young” LOUISA LMAO

THE BIRD ATE HER HAIR?? WHAT SJSJSJ

“Did she say she has syphilis ?”

The Durrells house IS a freak-show but it’s a GREAT one

LMAO I TOLD YOU DEVIL CHILD

“I was reminded why people stay at home” 😂

Don’t club them Margo😂

GOATS DO APPEAR FROM NO WHERE LMAO

“Think I’d do alright” DUEL FOR SPIROS LOVE THEN LOUISA SJSKS

She’s thinking about it isn’t she ..

GIVE ME EPISODE 4 NOW THIS WAS GREAT UGH

#the durrells #commentary #that was a mess and i loved it?!#the durrells in corfu #live blogging

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bruhnushka · 5 years

Text

what happened w the guy

so basically,,, *this is really Long btw

lets call the guy Sean.

so i followed Sean on insta a couple months ago bc I thought he was funny and he lived in the same area I did. He was kinda famous (had 33k followers so I mean) and I kind of assumed wed never interact past his posts. Then one day he goes on live. I’m super bored so I click on it. He tells everyone there to ask questions that they find interesting. All the comments were “how big is your dick” and “what color are your eyes really” type beat. I thought that was the vibe so I put in a question I knew he wouldn't answer. I commented “Do you think the US was justified in Hiroshima?” It took a few seconds but he saw my question and his eyes did this thing were they like widened and like creased??? but anyways I remember that look bc that kinda started everything. He started going into full depth about the USA and our excessive need for sticking our noses where they don't belong and how much resources and money we waste on foreign aid and we were having a discussion and he was ONLY looking for my comment. there was a girl named Leah who kept asking him to say her name by spamming the comments section and he literally said “Leah. there. im blocking you now.” and deadass blocked her. this whole live chat thing happened for the next few days until around the fourth time. After he finished his live on the discussion of our gun laws he followed me. I was so excited and happy and at this point I hidden FALLEN for him, but I had somewhat of a tiny crush. Seeing his dumbass posts made me smile and go all butterfly-y in my stomach. Anything with his name in it (which was a common white boy name) also made me smile and go all butterfly-y in my stomach. Exactly 2 days after he followed me I was watching his story where he posted one of his dumbass tik toks he made when he was high. I started laughing so hard so I slid up, forgetting it was him, and called him stupid. By the time I realized I slid up on HIS story it was too late and he'd already seen it. He started replying and although it was awkward at the beginning it started to became more bearable, until we exchanged numbers and would text for nights. It had been about 2-3 weeks after I first commented at this point. Sean had been texting me like nonstop and would tell me that he loved talking to me and he wanted to meet. I hadn't really discussed anything relationship wise with him but I could feel myself getting whipped. Around the 5th week of talking we met up at a movie theatre, took some edis, and got smacked. It was so fun and we talked forever about everything and I ended up sleeping in his car. He drove me home the next day and he told me that we should hang out again, but didn't kiss me or anything. And we did, like every single week. He’d come to my rooftop and smoke with me and we’d just talk and laugh and sleep. By then it had been about 2 months and I was gone. I was literally completely head over heels fallen for him. There reached a point when he was in Vegas so I couldn’t talk to him so I missed him. I went on his main insta, that had no posts. I got bored so I looked into his tagged, and scrolled around. Then I found two things. number one was a prom post, but a collection of photos w him and a girl who's head was on his shoulder. the second post was all the way at the bottom, and was a one month anniversary photo of him and the same girl from Aug of 2018. My heart literally dropped and I immediately called my friends and told them. I assumed the worst, that he was in a relationship and was just playing with me. I wanted so desperately to believe that he was the most perfect person for me- smart and intelligent about all these topics that interest me, funny with the same damn sense of crackhead humor as me, and he was so hot. And the fact that he WANTED to hang out with me, and showed interest in me, I really let myself fall. I didn't talk to him for a few weeks, and by the time he finally texted me it was about 4 months since I first commented. Looking back at it, everything happened so fast. He texted me asking if I was ok. When I didn't respond, he drove to my house with food and weed and I sent him out. He left me a voicemail and a paragraph hoping that I was ok and if he could do anything. That really hurt me because I realized that he didn't know what he did wrong. After he left the voicemail, I decided I would tell him how I feel about him. It took me days but I eventually wrote a massive paragraph explaining everything I felt from the moment I met him until now, and why I didn't want to talk to him, and why I felt the way I did. I sent it, he read it, and gave a paragraph in return. to summarize, he basically said “I never meant to lead you on, I loved you but as a friend, I would never date you, I wish we could still be friends because you are an amazing person.” I told him we could, but I needed a break from him. He asked if we could meet for one last time before the break and I was so fucking vulnerable and desperate to spend time with him I said yes. He picked me up and we went to Lake Elizabeth and thats where I asked him, like an idiot, why he wouldn't date me. He told me, and I quote, “I don't really... fuck with your type of girls.” obviously I was confused, so I asked him wym. he kinda said “you know...” and motioned towards my body. He basically said he didn't date fat girls. He saw my face when he said that and he knew he made a mistake but it was too late, I literally just got up and left. I called my friend and asked her to send me an uber and it was just a mess, I was crying and about to scream and Sean was like finally getting up to chase after me after sitting there for like fifteen minutes but by then I left. I went home. About 2 days ago, 3 days after that happened, I was shamelessly stalking his page using another one of my accounts. He posts a black screen with a broken heart emoji, and then the next one was a paragraph ass post about why they broke up. I didn't want to read it but I skimmed it and i think it was something about how they were “too different.” anyways almost three hours after reading the post he hits me with a “wyd” and some random ass worm emoji we use ironically. I haven't responded still and don't plan to, although theres a part of me literally begging to talk to him again bc I know he wants to either date me or just play with me again and that part of me isn't even mad at that

so yea. that on top of so much other tings w my personal life and friends has literally made me so numb rn. like I wanna cry,,, but I can't

#yumilicious

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