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#and not only write once in a blue moon when the fancy strikes me
daisywords · 5 months
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lyranova · 3 years
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The Proposal
Hi guys~! So here’s my first ever Greyche fic! I hope its good i actually really enjoyed writing this one hehe. This fic was actually supposed to be different and posted on Valentine’s day but I wanted to post it now 😂. I hope you guy’s enjoy it and I’m sorry it’s not as long as my other fics!
Genre: Fluff
Word Count: 1,779
Warnings: None
————
To say Gauche was nervous was an understatement, he was downright terrified, and that was not a normal feeling for Gauche Adlai and it was one he found he did not like. At all. But he knew the cause of this feeling, tonight was the night that would change his life. For better or worse he didn’t know yet, but he knew one thing for sure; this was what he wanted to do. Tonight, he was going to propose to his girlfriend Grey. Gauche had considered taking this step for a while, he had even gone out and bought a ring for the occasion, but he forgot one major detail. How was he going to propose, Where was he going to propose, and most importantly, When was he going to propose? He had none of this planned out in the beginning. So Gauche did what anyone would do, he would go to the other members of the Black Bulls and get their advice. Well, some of the members.
First, Gauche started with Gordon. He asked the man if he knew of anywhere that was close by that was nice yet private. Gordon seemed in thought for a moment.
“ Actually, there’s a small cliff side nearby, it overlooks one of the most beautiful fields you’ve ever seen. I’ve only ever gone there at night but I think it’s-.” Gauche cut Gordon off.
“ Thanks Gordon you’ve been a big help.” Gauche turned on his heel and went to walk out of the room. But as he did he heard Gordon say softly.
“ Anything for my best friends!”
————
Gauche had managed to answer the where and when but still had to answer how. He didn’t have the faintest of ideas, anything he typically thought of when proposing just didn’t seem right. He couldn’t imagine himself getting down on one knee and being a complete romantic about it like some people, but he didn’t want to be the type to just throw Grey a ring and hope for the best. He wanted to do this right. So he went to the only member of the Black Bulls that was now married himself.
“ Couldn’t this wait Gauche? I’m probably going to be a while.” Yami shouted from the other side of the bathroom door, Gauche leaned against the wall next to the door.
“ Not really Captain. It's almost nightfall and I could really use the advice,” Gauche scratched the back of his neck nervously as though the captain could see him. “ how...how did you propose to Captain Roselei?” Sukehiro he mentally corrected himself. Gauche sometimes noticed that he would still call the Blue Rose Knights captain by her maiden name instead of her married one.
“ So you’re finally gonna pop the question to Grey huh?” Yami asked, Gauche felt his face heat up slightly and instantly began to, again, scratch the back of his head. For some reason, he nodded in confirmation even though the captain couldn’t see it.
“ Just ask her.” Was Yami’s reply, Gauche looked wide-eyed at the bathroom door. “ It doesn’t have to be anything fancy, with Charlotte I just said ‘So, wanna get married?’ And of course, she didn’t really like that approach.” Yami laughed and Gauche could help but let a small chuckle escape his lips, of course their captain would be blunt about it.
“ But after talking about it and explaining why I wanted to marry her, she said yes.” Yami continued softly, probably thinking back on the memory if Gauche were to guess. “ So just ask her, Grey doesn’t really strike me as the type to want a bunch of attention. So something small, simple, and quiet would be your best bet.” The captain finished as he walked out of the bathroom door, drying his hands off with a small towel.
“ You’re right Captain, thanks for the advice.” Yami only nodded his head and began to walk past Gauche, but he stopped and placed a hand on the young man’s shoulder.
“ I’m happy for you Gauche.” Yami told him with a small smile. Gauche was taken aback for a moment, he hadn’t really expected the captain to congratulate him or anything. He was so shocked by Yami’s words his brain couldn’t formulate a reply. The Captain patted him on the shoulder once more before walking away.
“ Don’t screw this up!” Yami threw over his shoulder and Gauche smirked, that was the reaction he was expecting.
———
Now here Gauche was, walking up the hill with Grey. Normally she walks beside him, but tonight she was slightly behind him clinging to the back of his shirt. Before they had started dating this would occasionally annoy him, but now he didn’t really mind. Grey was a strong and brave fighter, more than she’d ever give herself credit for, so it warmed his heart a little to think that she wanted him to protect her from some unknown dangers.
“ W-Where are we going Gauche? Isn’t it d-dangerous coming out here this late?” Grey’s voice shook as she asked him this question and her grip on the back of his shirt tightened.
“ You’ll see where we’re going in just a minute. No it’s not dangerous I made sure of that before bringing you out here.” Gauche told her, earlier in the day he had asked Zora to place some trap spells around the area just to keep some of the wild animals away. He felt Grey loosen her grip slightly at his assurance, he hoped she’d feel a little better once they got to the cliff side.
Gauche had to admit, Gordon was right that the cliff side was beautiful. There were trees as far as the eye could see, some as tall as the cliff they were standing on and at the bottom there was a small field with a stream running through the middle. He looked up at the sky and it was so clear you could see the moon and thousands upon thousands of stars. Behind him, Gauche heard a small gasp.
“ Oh Gauche, it’s so beautiful out here!” Grey said her voice full of awe, he looked next to him and saw a smile on her face and a reflection of the moon shining in her eyes. He would make sure to buy Gordon anything he wanted for recommending this place to him. It brought a smile to his girlfriends face, and to Gauche, that meant everything. He walked forward a bit and turned to look at Grey.
“ I’m glad you like it, I was hoping you would,” Gauche started, suddenly he felt his face get warm and his heart begin to race. This was it, he was going to ask her just like the Captain suggested, if he could get the lump out of his throat first. He was already nervous about asking her to marry him and now he was even more nervous to ask her. He already thought Grey was beautiful but she looked even more beautiful in the moonlight, with a few fireflies flying around her. Gauche was beginning to think he was having a heart attack with how fast his heart was beating.
“ G-Gauche, can I ask you something?” Grey suddenly asked, causing Gauche to snap out of his thoughts. He nodded for her to continue as he shoved a hand in his pocket, grabbing the ring that was inside and holding onto it.
“ I-I just...was wondering if you’d…” Grey trailed off, her face a bright shade of red, he noticed her hands were clenched into fists at her sides as though she were trying to summon up the courage to finish her sentence. Gauche was about to ask if she was alright when she blurted out.
“ Will you marry me Gauche?”
Gauche blinked a couple of times. What...did she just…? Gauche’s brain couldn’t process the question, it was almost as though someone had flipped the switch and shut his brain off. Grey, his Grey, had just asked him to marry her. Which was what Gauche was about to ask her himself! ‘Why doesn’t anything ever go to plan?’ A voice asked exasperatedly in his head, anytime he would try to plan something it would always get messed up by something or someone. But, as Gauche thought more about it, did it really matter who asked whom? Apparently they were both on the same wavelength, so why did it really matter? Grey must’ve been way more nervous than Gauche was if she had been carrying that question around all this time! He smiled softly, she was the bravest person he had ever known.
“ G-Gauche please say something!” He blinked again as he heard Grey’s voice tremble, he looked at her again and realized even though her face was hidden behind her hands, it was much redder than it had been earlier and she was trembling slightly. Gauche suddenly felt immense guilt.
He had been silent too long.
Gauche walked up to Grey and gently grabbed her wrists and tried to pry them away from her face. But of course, she wasn’t budging.
“ Grey, please look at me.” He tried to coax her, but again, she did not budge. “ Please! I’m not angry I promise, just look at me for a moment.” He pleaded and eventually it worked. Grey looked up at him and saw a soft smile, which made her face flush even more if that were possible. It was a smile he reserved for her and Marie only.
“ Of course I’ll marry you. There’s no one else I’d rather spend the rest of my life with.” Gauche told her softly as he rested his forehead against hers, even though the comment was cheesy as hell, he found that it was actually true.
“ R-Really? You will?” She asked with a surprised yet very bright and happy smile on her face, when he nodded a small laugh escaped Grey’s lips and she jumped into his arms and nuzzled her face into the crook of his neck as Gauche held her.
“ I love you Gauche.”
“ And I love you, Grey.”
——-
The next morning, when Gauche showed Grey the ring he had bought for her weeks earlier, he lied and told her he had gone out that morning and bought it. For the rest of their lives Gauche never told her the truth, that he was the one that was going to propose to her that night. Because he wanted her to remember the bravery she showed that night and carry it with her always.
Ah I’m sorry this fell apart towards the end! I feel like all my fics do that 😅. But I hope you enjoyed it and I apologize if you didn’t, if anyone wants to be added to the taglist please let me know. Hope everyone has a good day~!
Tag List: @eme-eleff
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kimberly-spirits13 · 4 years
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Right Hand Man (Loyal to the End) Pt. 5
Pairing: Damian Wayne x reader
Synopsis: You were like Talia’s daughter. The only thing was that you weren’t and instead, you had grown up in the foster care system and at a young age were taken by and personally trained by Talia. Along the way, you meet Damian and the two of you start to work side by side and eventually, after some time become closer and closer. However, when disaster in the league strikes, you face balancing an old, forgotten life as a normal child and the burden of right hand to the demon heir.
Note: I know that this is long and that there are a good number of time skips, but I didn’t want to make this into a series and just wanted it as a long fic because .... well because I can lol
Also, I didn’t want to have Damian so young in this so just go with it. I’m thinking maybe early 15 or almost 16 at the most. Idk I just don’t like writing for young Dami.
Warnings: None
Word Count: 4812
Masterlist for Series
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      You woke without an alarm with the 4am birds. It was a sound that you weren’t used to. Typically, you’d head down to one of the indoor training rooms and join Damian. It wasn’t unusual for one of you to be a few moments late but after that you’d get breakfast. This time though, you didn’t want to see Damian. You went instead out to the gardens. Instead of really working out or training, you decided that the best thing to do was just sit and meditate.
        Walking down the hallway some the opposite way of where you were going, you saw that Damian’s door was open. Wanting, to avoid him, you went out one of the side doors. He would be in the cave training for the most of what you could tell. You walked outside greeted by the morning air. It was cool outside and the birds had stopped chirping for the most part. You walked towards the sounds of the fountains along the cobblestone path. The trees and shrubs were cut perfectly in different shapes and animals in some areas. You smiled walking through it all, the moon being the only light.
        Once at the fountain, you sat down. There wasn’t really anything you were focusing on. Everything just swirled around in your mind. With no indication or signs on what was going to happen, the only thing you felt like you could do was keep on the tightrope that you had been thrown onto. The start of it all was a blurry and foggy mess. The end however, was even worse. You had no idea where this new life was going to take you or Damian. It was easier when you had an idea. That didn’t make it better.
        You were consumed in your thoughts for the longest time before getting up and walking around more. This was the longest you’d been alone to wander freely like this since God knows when. It was nice but was eventually interrupted. You turned upon sensing that someone was there. Carefully, you reached for your dagger but didn’t pull it out yet.
        “Miss Y/N, breakfast has been prepared. Miss. Gordon will be here soon to take you to the shopping mall.” Alfred said, “I hope you are not about to pull a weapon on me. I will warn you, I don’t fancy being attacked.”
        “N-no. It’s just...” You slacked a bit.
        “Training. I understand.” Alfred gave you a reassuring look, “You seem to be adjusting better than Master Damian even on your first day here.”
        “That’s because I wasn’t born in the league. This is just like some distant home to me. I was in the foster care system until Talia got me.” “I also got to go on more missions outside of the compound.” You informed the older man.
        “I see.” He sighed, “Well, I hope that you will eventually find some sort of comfort here.”
        “Thank you.”
        It was strange hearing words of good wishes. Not that you hadn’t heard them before, it was just that it was rare and typically in a secret kind of code for lack of a better term. No one dared give well wishes directly, only in little ways. You and Damian did that the most out of anyone you’d ever met. It was just normal in that sense.
        The walk back inside was quiet. Alfred informed you of a few other details that you’d need during your stay. Most had to do with the boys. He said that they would be behaved but that they can get a bit... rowdy. It was just in their nature. You understood and told yourself to expect it. Walking inside you prepared for the worst. What you did get though was a very sleep deprived looking teenage boy, a tall man who was almost zombified, you knew that was Bruce, a very chirpy young adult male with bright blue eyes, and a tall red headed girl rolling her eyes at the younger man.
        “Master Dick, Master Tim, Miss. Gordon, this is Miss Y/N. She came with Damian last night and will be staying in the manor now.” Alfred said introducing you.
        Tim looked up, “Hi Y/N.” He then proceeded to down his cup of coffee.
        “Um, hello.” You replied. It was unusual to see someone like that but you also related to his actions deeply. You thought it was kind of funny anyways.
        “Hey, I’m Dick. So, did you get here last night?” He asked smiling and said the last part quietly, “You’ll have to excuse Timmy over there, he’s a bit tired from a case he’s working on. Just wait, he’ll eventually fall asleep somewhere for a day.”
        “Yes.” You shrugged, “And I understand where Drake is coming from.”
        That made Dick chuckle, “You seem to be less temperamental than Damian.”
        Barbra hit him with her elbow some, “Really Dick?” She looked at you, “Sorry about him, he gets excited about new people.”
        “I am only the temperamental type when I need to be. Other than that, I find it partially unwise to try and scare everyone with anger. Silence works just as well for me.” You sat down at the table with breakfast.
        The meal looked like something out of heaven. It smelled fresh and looked like whoever prepared it had been doing this for a while. You took the first bite, and after that you devoured the entire meal. You then remembered that Barbra was taking you shopping and started worrying about what was going to happen.
        “So, Y/N.” She said seeing you drift off into your own thoughts, “I was thinking that it might be best if we go to the smaller shopping center first. That way you might not feel so uncomfortable there. They’ve got some things I think you might like.”
        “That sounds suitable.” You answered, “Um, I have seen the more recent fashions from previous missions, however, I’m hoping that there are still stores that carry items of reasonable value instead of ... absurdly over the top garments.” “Avant-garde if you will.”
        “Oh yes, you’ll have plenty of options.” She laughed some at the concerned look on your face, “But I agree that some people do wear some very over the top things.”
        You nodded in an understanding way noting her tone. In these cases, she probably means that the clothes are normal and what you have seen is just avant-garde clothing worn by the rich to turn heads. While you had walked by the mall countless numbers of times on missions, and even inside, there was nothing that really caught your interest. Besides, missions were never for shopping you had the job of staying on task at all times.
        “Oh, and I invited Steph but she had previous arrangements so it will just be the two of us today.” Barbra said.
        “Very well.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        You and Barbra made your way inside of the mall. It was deemed best if she was the one to drive everywhere since Alfred and the limo would draw unwanted attention. Bruce did still have to figure out how he was going to break yours and Damian’s arrival to the press. He’d probably just pull another adoption stunt in your mind. It wasn’t rare and at this point, the media just accepted that he has an obsession with it.
        The two of you made it through the parking lot and into the building, you on high alert the entire time.         “You’re tense.” Barbra commented, “I can practically feel the tension coming off of you.”
        “Unfamiliar settings may lead to all too familiar circumstances and fallouts. I find it most wise to keep on guard in a place like this. It’s open to any assortments of attacks. With the right variables, a disaster could strike at any given moment.” You replied back looking around overwhelmed at the options of stores not noticing Barbra giving an understanding yet concerned look, “I uh- where do we start?”
        “I have some suggestions. Although, I think the first store that we should try is something with a bit of variety so that you might be able to find something that you like.” She said.
        “I think I might have something in mind. Maybe something a bit dark, classical, refined, but also something that might be able to be turned down to a more casual piece.” You listed some features you were interested in with an almost inquisitive look only to meet Barbra’s eyes which portrayed an almost warm and kind look.
        “I think I know just the place.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        You and Barbra walked around the shopping mall sipping on coffee from the Starbucks and eating some of the pastries.
        “These are not too bad.” You commented speaking about the treats, “I must admit, I have never had anything quite like this before.” “It tastes...”
        “Commercial?” Barbra asked laughing some making you shrug in agreement, “There are better places we might go some time. I just figured this would be suitable for the time being.”
        “Well the decision wasn’t ill placed.”
        “Oh, we should try this store up here. Steph and I are always finding some good items here.” She commented leading you into another store.
        At this point you had almost lost track of everywhere you’d been. It was like navigating a more organized jungle. This time however, the animals were people and there was no North Star nor moss to guide your way.
        “You were talking about more classic. This place has some clothes I think you might really like.”    
        Walking in, there were rows of all sorts of clothes including fitted and paper bag pants, pencil skirts, turtle necks in some places, tweed jackets, blazers, sweatshirts, hoodies, and almost anything you could have desired. You gawked at the sight and started wandering off on your own to explore the vast new area you had found. Slowly, you took what you thought looked best and gained an eventual plethora of clothing articles before heading off into the dressing room with Barbra in close pursuit.
        “What do you think about this?” You asked stepping out in an outfit you had put together from the clothes you’d picked.
        “I like it. I like it a lot. I do think though, that we might be able to add some jewelry to spice it up a bit.” She replied, “Change back and then we can go jewelry hunting.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        Once outside of the dressing room, you and Barbra checked out and went into the jewelry store that was down the hall and across the walk way on the second floor which you were already on. You headed inside and were immediately drawn to some plated jewelry. It was simple and elegant, just what you were looking for.
        “These look nice.” You gestured to some, your own ring on your finger flashing some in the light. It was an ever so slightly worn gold ring that you wore on your right ring finger. On it had intricate braided designs and a symbol that represented an eternal bond or promise.      
        “I didn’t notice you had a ring already, it’s very beautiful. You were allowed to keep it?” Barbra questioned pointing it out.
        “Thank you. But no, actually, I’ve had this ring, and smaller versions of this ring as I grew up. They were given to Damian and I when we were young. It is a symbol of promise. I’m his right hand, I go where he goes, and stay where he stays. Think of it as a contract of sorts, or maybe even a wedding ring. It’s just a daily reminder of my place.” You explained.
        “Interesting. Was there anything you did keep or was this is?” She asked.
        “I um.” You fiddled with something around your neck, “A necklace from my parents. It’s a moon and stars, the only thing I have from before the league really. The piece was the only thing I could keep.”
        She didn’t ask any more questions, instead opting for the task of browsing for jewelry. You picked out a few pieces, some with jewels and others just plated and empty. Barbra picked up a black watch to throw into the mix saying that it goes well with everything. You didn’t really doubt her. There was no reason to thus far. Once you left the store though, the two of you started to notice shopping’s effects and how the pastries and coffee had worn off.
        “I’d say we try the restaurant down the block. It’s got some really great options and I think you might really like the burgers there.”
        “It sounds like a decent plan.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        You and Barbra walked inside of the place. Inside there were booths and tables along with a bar and waiting area. It was the run of the mill nicer business which thankfully, quickly got you seated. With drinks and even food ordered, there was a silence. It was kind of uncomfortable and awkward, you weren’t the greatest with social skills and starting conversations with new people. Damian wasn’t either which made it so easy to be around him. Well, at least when you weren’t fighting. You sighed thinking about it.
        “You’ve got that look on your face.” Barbra noted making you snap out of your thoughts.
        “Look?”
        “I know that you have just arrived and have much on your mind, however, you have that “boy issue” look plastered all over your face.” “Did something happen between you and Damian?”
        You weighed your options. Typically, these things worked themselves out. Damian wouldn’t be able to be rid of you unless he killed you and that would breach one of the highest codes of honor in the league. Typically though, these arguments were stupid or at least simpler like too many missions or being hurt on the field. This time, his grandfather had died as a result.
        You huffed some and took a deep breath, “Damian and I were in an argument last night because of my mission. I have been assigned since day one a location and route that would take him to Gotham in case something like what did happen, happened. For years, I’ve trained for this like some prepare for Armageddon. However, Ra’s al Ghul died in the battle. He blames himself mostly but also claims I have some part in it. Although, I think he might have changed that outlook since the fight last night.”
        Barbra looked shocked at what you told her, “Ra’s al Ghul is dead?”
        “Correct.” You answered grimly, “Heavy arrow fire took him.” “And, you don’t have to give your condolences, I know of what has happened at his hands and how that is viewed.”
        She nodded, “So you and Damian have just been avoiding each other all morning hoping that this all blows over?”
        “Precisely.” You sighed, “I for one know that this might never be worked out if there isn’t a final confrontation on the matter at hand however, I’m not quite sure how to approach that.”
        “Well from what I’ve seen, it might be best to just be straight forward with him. Letting this drag on and on isn’t going to solve anything whatsoever.”
        “I would have to agree with you Gordon. You have my appreciation.”
        “It’s no problem.” She smiled some.
        “I do have one concern and the only reason I’m mentioning it is because I trust my instincts and they tell me you can be trusted.” You said.
        “That is?”
        “How, how are we supposed to adjust to a different culture, life, policies, and circumstances in a matter of a few weeks. I mean I assume that Bruce will introduce us to the public and then with the blink of an eye, we’ll be out in public being swarmed by the media. I worry about Damian’s more impulsive and temperamental behavior with the newer surroundings and how he will cope. I think it will be difficult for the both of us to start abiding to certain ... rules if you know what I mean.”
        Barbra didn’t comment for a few seconds and instead took what you were saying all in.
        “I cannot say that I understand your position. I can say though, that I think that you of all people are more than capable of doing this. From what I have seen, you know what is best for the two of you and will stick to those beliefs, you’ve got the mindset of a fighter and strategist. Whether it be training or even turning away from some of it, I think you will find a way to adjust. And I know that it’s hard to trust people at first. That part I understand, however if you need anything, Alfred and I are always there.” She explained carefully almost washing away all of your fears.
        “Thank you.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        You and Barbra were back at the manor now. Alfred had taken your new clothes for cleaning and you had your new room decorations and jewelry to put into place. You didn’t get many things seeing as the room already decently matched what you felt most comfortable with, however you were not going to protest against a few touches of your own.
        Once upstairs, you closed the door and got your new record player set up. Picking one that looked the most suitable and got to work making things as you pleased. You hadn’t noticed how much the time had passed before there was a knock at your door. You turned the music off and opened it to reveal Alfred with an assortment of clothes on hangers and another stack of freshly pressed and folded clothes.
        “I have your new garments ready to be put away.” He informed you.
        “Thank you, I can put them away myself.”
        “It is no problem Miss. L/N.” He handed you the clothes, “Dinner shall be ready at 6pm sharp.”
        “I understand.”
        Once he had left, you closed the door only and started putting items away only for another knock to interrupt you once more.
        “Yes?” You opened the door again, “Oh... hello demon.”
        “General- L/N, I wanted to talk to you about last night.” He said almost sheepishly.
        “Very well. You may enter.” You closed the door behind him, not wanting anyone else to hear the conversation.
        “I must apologize, my actions of last night were impulsive and guided by misjudgment from the events that have taken place prior to now.” Damian sat at your bed as you were still putting away clothes in the closet, “I stepped out of my place questioning your choices because I did not know under the circumstances they were made.” “You did nothing wrong.”
        “I accept your apology Damian.” You said making him almost sigh in relief, “I understand where the outburst came from.” “As cheesy as it might sound, I have thought over what happened last night.” You went and sat down at the end of the bed and looked him in the eyes, “The only thing we can really do now is stick together. We have no one else here that knows about where we came from and the worst choice we can make for ourselves in splitting apart. Especially over a recent quarrel or smaller dispute.”
        “I agree.”
        There was a small passing of silence, “Just promise me that you will try everything you can to make adjusting as easy as it can be on yourself. It will be a challenge, but you don’t have to do it alone. We’re both in the same boat on this one Damian.”
        “I promise, just as you have done so many other times before.”
        There was a small ringing from the phone you had gotten at the mall.
        “That means it is time for dinner.” You got up and turned off the alarm quickly before walking towards the door, “After supper I expect to see you for some sparring?”
        “I will be there.”
_______________________________________________________________________
        You and Damian were sitting next to each other at the dinner table. It was awkward and quite for some time, no one really wanting to bring any conversation up.
        “So how did you feel about Gotham Y/N?” Bruce asked you trying to start some sort of conversation.
        “It was fine.” You replied, “it’s comparable to a darker version of Chicago with a hint of New York.”         “When did you go to either one of those cities?” Dick asked inhaling his food.
        “I went to Chicago on a mission a year ago and New York three years ago.” You replied, “It was only for two nights at maximum.” “The people are strange though.”
        Your comment made everyone either smirk or chuckle which lightened the mood a bit. You could tell that Damian was uncomfortable in this newer situation however. He wasn’t one for talking to those if he wasn’t bragging about something. You never commented on it while he was doing it, only glaring some to get your message across to him. He’d typically get to a stopping place but on the rare occasions he wouldn’t, you’d actively end the conversation or bite your tongue to keep from saying anything regretful.
        “I took Y/N to that joint near the mall you told me to go to Bruce. It was good.” Barbra commented.
        “Agreed.” You responded, “We also picked up a great plethora of items from the shopping center. Thank you for letting me go. It is greatly appreciated.”
        “You are most welcome Y/N.” Bruce replied with a look of approval showing on his face, “And Damian, because you have opted not to go out with one of the boys, Alfred has had a selection of items delivered to the manor. They should have arrived already.”
        “Yes, they did father.” Damian said quickly, giving you a slight glance.
Damian’s POV:
        You seemed to be adjusting well. It was typical of you to take what you understood of your circumstances and adapt so quickly. You were just like that. He’d always admired it but right now, it was strange seeing you as the best adapted like you were. The strange distant feeling of seeing you not in armor or commanding a squad got to Damian. New surroundings like this were uncomfortable and unpredictable. He watched you fake your every move like it was nothing, the way that you carefully examined everything around you intrigued him. Then again, you were doing too well. He knew you were covering something. Old habits, old nightmares along as new ones, new yet familiar styles in the way you dressed, he saw your walls hold higher, most of the ones you “dropped” were mere props in the way you played. You’d always said life was a game or a gamble anyways, you just had to know how to play it.
        The conversations at the table were forced. At the Leauge, typically there were either no conversations, or they were over missions and training. Though, it’s not like he really enjoyed any of it to begin with. He reached over just enough so that no one would noticed and lightly tapped your leg.
        “most forced conversation I’ve had.” He tapped in a shorter way of speech than typical with Morse code.
        “same.” You answered back quickly, “wonder how long we’ll be here.”
        “hours.”
        “very funny demon.”
_______________________________________________________________________
Your POV:
        Damian was right, it did feel like hours. You didn’t really know when it was alright to leave, so you stayed until Bruce left. He was sitting at the head of the table, so he was in control of when you could leave. At least, that was how it was when you were raised in the foster care system. Damian left when you did and you both got suited up for sparring. You two met up outside of your own rooms when you were done, swords, daggers, and armor in all. If someone wasn’t familiar with the situation, they would have thought you were coming from a dress up party or cosplaying in some sense. That would have been insulting to you if you didn’t care about keeping your cover.
        “Woah there kiddoes, where are you two heading dressed like that?” Dick asked coming down the hallway.
        “Daily sparring.” You answered sharply.
        “With all of that?” Steph chose to comment as well.
        “Correct.” You continued, “They are merely swords and a few items of weaponry, nothing that should be too out of the ordinary seeing as you have the regular superhumans or even super heroes coming in and out regularly.”
        Dick nodded and let you two through after Steph got him to stop pestering you two with questions. You and Damian exchanged looks of distaste in regards to your interaction. Rolling your eyes, you continued, eventually making it to the cave. Once on the mat, you started training. There was no conversation at first. There didn’t need to be. You’d always thought that if there was no room for conversation, there was no need to squeeze it in. If conversation wanted to add more space, it would naturally.
        “So, how are you?” You asked, “Adjusting wise.”
        Damian looked around some before responding to make sure no one was there, “I am doing as well as I can be. I find that we are being underworked in responsibilities however. It’s boring here.” “You seem to be adjusting well.”
        “In standards of not beheading the shrubbery,” You smirked at the glare he gave you, “I’m... just testing the waters at this point.” “It feels strange not having a squad to command, I don’t like it that much but it is what it is.”
        You didn’t reveal everything or really anything close to the most. What you were supposed to do anyways? It’s not like you were going to reveal all of your struggles in one training session. You weren’t ready or willing to do that anytime soon. Deep down though, everything felt wrong. Not having your position anymore was just the surface of your issues. The constant urge to pull yourself back into your old habits was overwhelming. At a strange noise, you found yourself reaching for a weapon that wasn’t there. When someone tried to talk to you, you immediately put even more walls up trying to figure out what they wanted to really know. You needed action and something to focus on besides keeping up some imagine like you always did. At night or in the moments you were alone, the constant shadow of your former self was there to greet you like a figment of your worst flashbacks. You knew exactly what was wrong, you just didn’t know how to express it because of the quantity in which your problems amounted in. So, for now, you’d keep it to yourself.
        “Understandable.” He said pinning you down to the mat.
        You went to flip him over and then stopped in mid motion where he didn’t hesitate to take you down before standing up.
        “That was far below your own expectations for yourself in combat Y/N.” He said offering a hand up.
        You felt your fight or flight mode kick in the moment everything happened thinking back to the arrows falling from the sky. Taking a deep breath, you reminded yourself of where you were. There were no arrows flying. No screaming from those around you. You looked around to reassure yourself before hearing someone come up silently from behind you.
        “Hey love birds.” Dick said loudly walking up behind you.
        You felt him go for a pat on the back. Clearly, he was just being stupid for the time being but you could control what you did. Taking the man by the wrist, you used all of your force and some of his own weight against him to slam him over you onto the mat. The rush of adrenaline faded when you saw who it was laying on the mat groaning in pain.
        “Holy shit.” He mumbled.
        Damian’s jaw dropped to the floor seeing you pull something like that. You snapped out of your temporary trance and immediately extended your hand to help him up.
        “M-my apologies. I mistook you for someo-“
        He stopped you, “No it’s fine. Should’ve known not to do anything too sudden like that.” Dick looked at you for a second, “You put up a fight Y/N. Although, I wouldn’t expect anything less from a high general.”
        You sighed some at the comment, “Thank you. I must be leaving now.”
        The two watched you swiftly head up the stairs. You made sure to travel through the manor as quietly and quickly as possible. The last thing you needed was for anyone to try to touch or talk to you. Once you made it to your bedroom, you immediately grabbed a change of clothes and headed for the shower. A hot shower was the only thing you thought would help. At least, that’s what you were hoping.
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nickkkdoesstuff · 3 years
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general 24 w/ lewvithur maybe? :0c
Prompt list.
“I haven’t seen (her/him/them) smile in months.”
I’m not really used to write about lewvithur (or ot3 in general) and I apologize if this is a little odd or off character <: i’m trying 
Summary: None of them had genuinely smiled since their lives had torn apart. Arthur finds his old keyboard and plays an awful familiar song.
Song: “Slow Dance” by Saint Motel
Vivi licked the melted marshmallow off her fingers with as much enthusiasm she had. Definitely the idea of taking her boyfriends out in the woods for a nice little evening soiree, technically they were on a mission hunting down a werewolf but it wouldn’t hurt if they stopped for a second, and the night above them was lovely- 
The blue leader couldn’t avoid the dark sky filled with stars and lights of distant cities, she had told them to rest for a while, they all deserved it anyway. Arthur had brought the idea of building a fire when the sun started to set behind them and Lewis suggested s'mores because “it wasn’t a real campfire if it didn’t had s’mores”, the ghost couldn’t eat anymore but who were they to deny such a delicacy. 
So there they were, their faces red because of the heat and a little sweaty too. The van’s radio had gone off a few minutes ago and they had run out of conversation topics. The three of them sat on a fallen log, pressed together like a human sandwich one next to another, a little awkward if you asked, but way more comfortable than try to get a real conversation out of anyone. 
Vivi sighed tired. “Looks like we ran out of cookies.” she stood up. “I’m going to see if there are some more in the van.”
Arthur nodded and Lewis just didn’t mind at all.
She jumped on the back of their van, a lamp on her mouth to leave free her hands. She brushed with her eyes the tall, metallic shelves that held many of her supernatural artifacts that she assured held properties and could be handy on one of their jobs, she had never used them, true, but you never knew when a spirit could strike, so she kept them to collect dust on tagged cardboard boxes like forgotten items, one of those boxes should have the food supplies, she was sure, but after Lewis died, nobody had reorganized the shelves, and nor she or Arthur cared enough to do it, so now the “food supplies” were strange books Vivi didn’t remember collecting and a few shiny rocks Arthur probably picked up during their trips.
The blue haired girl emptied all the van and couldn’t find those damned cookies- she had looked everywhere except for the higher level of the shelves, “They must be there”, she thought. “I swear for the love of fuck, Arthur, that if you ate them I’m starting a war”.
She picked the box but it slipped out of her hands and landed on top of her hair. 
“Ow” she patted herself. Many other things fell along with her, Lewis wasn’t going to be happy with the mess she made. The girl kicked some stuff out of her way until a strange one came across her path, she didn’t recall having that one when 99% of the stuff stocked there was hers. It was a black square bag, it was dusty and a little heavy but the lazo on one of its sides made it easier to carry around. 
“Arthur, sweety,” she called, popping her head out of the van. “what 's this?”
Half asleep Arthur turned to her. “Oh.” 
He moved to inspect the bag and put it on the floor, his slim hands slid open the zipper to reveal an old keyboard piano.
“I have been looking for this for ages!” Arthur kneel before it and ran his fingers through the white and black tiles. “I haven’t pla- played this since- since… well…”
The hurt look on his eyes said it all. The boy turned it on, wondering if it still worked after a year of abandonment. To his surprise, it did, the screen came back to life and lights shone brighter than before. A small smile crept upon his lips, shy as himself. 
“C’mon, Artie.” Vivi hurried to sit down next to the ghost, right in front of Arthur like they were a crowd. “Delight us, please.”
Arthur looked at her hesitantly, and then to the keyboard, unsure if he even knew how to play it anymore. “I don’t- I don’t know, Vi, it’s been a- a while…”
“Pweaseeeee.” Vivi wore puppy eyes. Oh no, please don’t, he thought, not the eyes.
“Fi- fineeee. I guess I can play something.”
The blond man ran through his memories, he should remember how to play any song, literally any song was good…
“This is one that everyone knows.” And then he played the first chord.
“I'm waitin' for that slow dance.”
Vivi gasped.
“So I can feel your arms around me.”
Oh, she definitely knew that song.
“Wait ‘till the music turns to romance.”
Arthur laughed a little at his girlfriend’s reaction.
“Go tell that Dj that he owes me.”
With a hand on her hip, she stood up, smiling brighter than she had ever done it. Vivi fixed her messy blue hair, tied her scarf tighter and tucked under her skirt her oversized sweater. Offering a hand to the ghost, she invited him to dance. A funny expression broke the specter’s skull and took her hand in acceptance. They pretended the dirt under their feet was a fancy dance floor and the moon a disco ball.
“Well, they don’t know that much about it.”
They began to move around to the beat of the song. 
“Been waiting every single day.”
Vivi spinned around, holding her boy’s hand as he catched up with her.
“I could be your best friend, I could be your centerpiece, I could be your soulmate, I could be your everything.”
She planted a kiss on his forehead.
“Thunderbolts and lighting queuing up the symphony.”
He carried her bridal style and leaned her to the floor, taking a laugher out of her.
“You know I’m waiting for that slow dance.”
Vivi escaped from his grip with a jump and rolled a little on the dirt.
“So I can feel your arms around me. Wait ‘till the music turns to romance. Go tell that Dj that he owes me.”
They both danced a silly dance, no longer making sense.
“Hand on my back, panic attack. Pull it together, don't overreact! Keepin' her close, don't step on her toes. Leave enough room for the holy ghost.” 
Now Mystery had joined them.
“Romance”
Arthur grinned at the sight. 
“Too slow but this is how you showed me.”
For a moment, Arthur was no longer in the woods but the Kingsmen’s mechanics garage. He was a small boy once again.
“We could talk for forty hours.”
He was sitting outside, watching the sunset over the mountains, time didn’t matter, he was simply staring at the beautiful magentas and lilacs the sky had painted. 
“We’d end up right back at the start.” 
It reminded him of Vivi and Lewis, and he couldn’t take his eyes away from it. He thought it was beautiful. It was the night of the prom, he knew he should be sunking his problems on punch and dancing cheesy songs with his friends, but nobody had asked him out, Lewis and Vivi should be there, enjoying their night.
“I could be your best friend, I could be your centerpiece, I could be your soulmate, I could be your everything.”
They made a nice couple after all. 
“Thunderbolts and lighting queuing up the symphony.”
He was lost on himself until both of them showed up with bright smiles at him and asked him out.
Arthur had never been so glad to say yes.
“You know I’m waiting for that slow dance.”
Suddenly, without a warning, a cold hand pulled him. It was Vivi.
“So I can feel your arms around me.”
“Oh, no no no no, I’m- I’m not a good dancer.”
“Wait ‘till the music turns to romance.”
His girlfriend laughed. “Who cares?”
“Go tell that Dj that he owes me.”
She gently took both of his hands -flesh and metallic- and dragged him along with her where Lewis awaited.
“Vivi- wait, no-!”
“There’s no doubt about it.”
She kissed his cheek to make him shut up, it worked indeed. Flustered, Arthur surrendered.
“It’s something magical.”
She never lost her grip on his hands, and, as if they were little kids, Vivi spun around slowly.
“Feeling our surroundings.”
The world around him moved fast, the couple stayed still, or that was what Arthur felt when  he could only stare at her beautiful blue gaze.
“And time is slowing down for us.”
Arthur sank in the moment. Looking at her toothy smile directed at him, Arthur welcomed that warm gesture in his heart and let the feeling of being all right washed over him.
Vivi slowed down and when they weren’t that nauseous she quickly grabbed him in a suffocating but nice and fitting hug, right when he was about to return it, he was pushed towards a black suit.
“You know I’m waiting for that slow dance.”
“¿Me concedes esta pieza?” Lewis said in fluent spanish, Arthur looked up to meet not a terrifying skull but a human face with a gentle smile on him.
“So I can feel your arms around me.”
“Huh?” Arthur didn’t even pay attention when Lewis talked with that accent. 
“Wait ‘till the music turns to romance.”
“Would you grant me this piece?” He laughed and Arthur just limited himself to nod as his blush warmed all his face.
“Go tell that Dj that he owes me.”
A hand went to his back and another one lifted his robotic arm, the blond boy followed him, taken back a little, was he really dancing with Lewis-?
It didn’t feel real, but he loved it.
“Hand on my back, panic attack.”
Arthur rested his head on his boyfriend’s big chest just like a pillow. 
“Pull it together, don’t over react!”
How long had it been since he had been this happy?
“Keepin’ her close, don’t step on her toes.”
He hadn’t seen any of them smile, a true smile, one that didn’t lie.
“Leave enough room for the holy ghost.”
A smile that could warm your soul for decades.
“Romance.”
No, he hadn’t seen one.
“Too slow but this is how you showed me.”
The music ended and Lewis didn’t pull away his boyfriend, instead he kept him close and placed his lips on top of his tall hair. Vivi came to finish the hug, her short arms doing their best to hold them together until she was tucked under both of her boys. 
No, Arthur hadn’t seen them smile in months.
He opened his eyes to snitch on them, beautiful smiles decorated the moment, he couldn’t help but think that things were going to be alright.
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dansnaturepictures · 3 years
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20th March 2021-House Sparrows on World Sparrow Day and Tawny Owl, Leaser Spotted Woodpecker and much more on a phenomenal walk of birds and mammals
On World Sparrow day today I enjoyed seeing some of our House Sparrows that visit the garden one of which is shown in the first picture in this photoset. This sparrow day is a brilliant initiative to raise awareness particularly for House Sparrows and their plight so I was happy to be part of it. It also gave me a great chance to reflect on the times I have had with these iconic and quintessentially British species which are so precious. I have always had sparrows in my life in my time as a birdwatcher and I love both house and Tree Sparrow because of their interesting colour shades and pleasant feather formations and patterns. They are also adorable and pretty birds of great personality and presence. As one of the country’s key garden birds, the perennial chart topper of the RSPB’s Big Garden Birdwatch, it’s so amazing to have them in the garden and especially for me very precious because we went around three years without having any come into the garden after getting some in the initial stages of living at this current house and I did miss them in those years. But in the last three years or so it has been fantastic to see them come back on mass coming in with the Starlings to feed and exist year round and also bring in chicks which I particularly enjoyed in the last year whilst working from home. I am now always so impressed and feel so lucky to be able to see these key urban birds at and around home.
We had our exercise walk this afternoon I took the second and ninth picture in this photoset on it and one bird I had started to have on my mind in recent days mostly due to the anniversary of when I last saw it three years ago on Thursday was a Lesser Spotted Woodpecker one of my favourites and one of my original birds I dreamt of seeing alongside Tawny Owl, Black Guillemot and Little Auk it’s only the latter I have still not yet seen with another bird the Ptarmigan now on the dream list and Golden Eagle and Arctic Tern being added to it then seen by us. I just had a weird sense that there might be some magic in the woods of this walk to allow us to see a lesser today like I felt when I last saw one four years ago the other day, after seeing the bird three years after one of my most glorious ever birding moments seeing our first.
And like that memorable and personally historic day in April 2014 today’s walk started really well for seeing lots of high calibre wildlife. Firstly a Robin gently singing away in a tree, then amazingly two Woodlarks on the ground a second cracking view of more than one in a week which was stunning. Even more striking that I had only seen this bird twice prior to 2021 but I have now seen them on three occasions this year. Remarkable. As we walked on again just like on Tuesday’s walk we were happy to see some Fallow Deers as seven ran out in front of us which was a fantastic prolonged view. I took the third picture in this photoset of some of them bounding along. 
We then walked into a woodland area and would have some of our greatest ever few birdwatching moments. Firstly a brown bird darted right in front of us and time stood still as I tried to compute what it was. Firstly it looked Kestrel which would be unusual in woods but as it just flew into my sharp focus it was undoubtedly an owl! Then myself and my Mum almost exclaimed the species name at once, it was a Tawny Owl we could now very clearly see. This felt incredible to see, I could not believe my eyes and I was over the moon. We saw it fly into a tree and sit on a branch for a little as we were on cloud nine watching it through binoculars, before it flew deep into the woods. This is a candidate for bird of the year already, it was epic. A bird I had dreamed about seeing before, and I finally saw them in 2014 and 2015 one bird in the same spot. But since after amazingly seeing most of the other British owl species every year all coming back into my life a lot and I’ve taken them to my heart I have waited and longed to see a tawny again and I had done it. I still can’t believe it now almost. But this was something so special and a really collector’s item because it was not just a wild Tawny Owl out in the day time like my previous two sightings of one very snug in a tree, but one flying in the day time and that is such once in a blue moon stuff. This sighting really did feel like a goal re-achieved a little and made me very happy. 
As we walked on we saw the brilliant Stock Dove in the fourth picture in this photoset, a beautiful bird to see as always one of my B list favourite birds the Tawny is another of my favourites. I had thought having seen the tawny when I felt like we’d see the lesser I had gone for the wrong dream bird! But I said to my Mum in this area we still need to keep our eyes peeled because I knew having had it happen today and always that extraordinary moments can happen so we could see the lesser too something I said in euphoria and in a completely dream like and quite jocular way. There were also comments about what exactly could displace tawny as our bird of the day a thing we do a bit of a parody to man/woman of the match in football I do it for butterflies, mammals and others sometimes too. 
Dreams came true again as we walked on in the woods, when my Mum spotted a Lesser Spotted Woodpecker! We both saw this as well and got our most prolonged view and one of our greatest views ever of this stunning species. I really was in my element to see it dance between and climb the high branches. I really got to make out that distinctive black and white striped back which still makes me shudder when thinking of the bird and everything those first two sightings became for me as some of the best times in my life and in birdwatching as well as its face and other features. Lesser Spotted Woodpecker sightings like Tawny Owl don’t come around often for us so I just savoured this happy moment so much. I took the fifth and sixth pictures in this photoset, record shots of this unforgettable bird. 
We just could not believe we’d seen both Tawny Owl and Lesser Spotted Woodpecker in one day, two more favourite bird year ticks in 2021 my best ever start for seeing favourite birds of mine with 16 of the 31 now seen this year. I think with these two being the more attainable two of my dream birds, especially once we saw them both for the first time just months apart in 2014 there has been a personal fable for me about seeing them both on the same day. I used to write every bird I saw on birdwatching trips in a note book in a very similar list format to my wildlife sightings summaries when young and on the last page I’d write the names of these two species together and Black Guillemot and Little Auk in a fanciful way of thinking I would have this utopian day where we’d see them all on a day. When we first saw Tawny Owl we were at a location known for Lesser Spotted Woodpeckers in the woods too and we heard drumming that day but didn’t investigate enough. So it became a joke that year that we were so focused on the owl in the tree that the woodpecker could have flown behind our heads without us noticing I even drew a (poor) picture of this scene on my Mum’s Mother’s Day card that year and then felt quite pleased with myself when we went on to see the Lesser Spotted Woodpecker. I guess today was to an extent that utopian day. It was interesting that a birdwatching/wildlife figure from my childhood who I do still see now occasionally who was influential in our birdwatching early on once said when we mentioned these were our goals that these were species that could be seen in the same day in Hampshire in a particular scenario and I was only thinking of him yesterday and earlier today when recalling a chance meeting with him on a work lunch break walk last year. So it just felt there was something meant to be about today’s lesser and tawny double. And wherever Lesser Spotted Woodpecker is concerned I have always seemed to be able to predict things! Its just a feeling, I seem to know when it may or may not happen. 
I took the seventh picture in this photoset of some nice fungi which we saw a lot of on trees as we walked on. It then beggared belief the sheer amount of additional also top quality birds or notable bird moments we went on to see and have! Firstly we saw two Treecreepers at once sliding delightfully up trees. Then we looked at the top of tree where there was a finch and saw it was the beautiful, bright and epic Hawfinch which I took the record shot in the eighth picture in this photoset of. Another member of my notable species seen again club this year which is amazing. We then heard a Raven bark loudly in the distance always a great sound. Then we also saw a fairly large group of Lapwings. We watched and listened to them for a few minutes as they went about a glorious display, I believe either a courtship or territorial one as they flew around and made their iconic “peewit” call. They flew in spectacular movements and as they did their wings made this most glorious of sounds adding to the amazing sounds I heard today, it was like a drum. It was so sensational and seeing and hearing a common species in a beautiful way perhaps different to anything I had ever really experienced with them before would have been a standout wildlife moment on any normal day itself but today it added so brilliantly to one of my best ever walks and times watching wildlife. 
Walking on I just thought there was a third year tick after Tawny Owl and Lesser Spotted Woodpecker in it I hadn’t got three year ticks in a day since 6th January, and I thought maybe it would be something more regular. Stonechats excited me then further up doing good impressions of Skylarks for flight and sound in places a bird I need to see this year. Canada Goose and Mallard added variety to the day. Just before the end of the walk I got my third year tick, fittingly for sparrow day a bird my Mum proclaimed was a sparrow with a black head when confirming the sightings with a hide with a guide at Titchfield Haven way back in our early birdwatching days, my Mum spotted a pair of Reed Buntings which I saw. This is one that perhaps because of the lockdown and other factors alluded me up until this point so this was real icing on the cake and yet another aspect of the walk I predicted you could say. Great views of smartly marked birds. 
My bird year list continued its revival of late, with a quite staggering at this time but especially with what and where they were seven year ticks in the space of a week. My year list sits nicely as the sixth highest any of mine had ever been on this date on 115 ahead of how many I had seen at this stage in 2014 and 2015 by a decent way now 2014 did grow a little bit in days to come though. 
I also took the eight picture in this photoset of some differently coloured daffodils in the collection of them in the garden which I have loved watching. This brought to an end simply breathtaking, fun, monumental, joyous and special occasion on our walk today. Walks and days like these are once in a blue moon it feels like a moment I will be taking about for years to come. Today nature made me so happy again which I needed. I hope you all had a good day or as good as it can be.  Wildlife Sightings Summary: My first of two of my favourite birds the Tawny Owl and Lesser Spotted Woodpecker this year, my first Reed Bunting of the year, one of my favourite mammals the Fallow Deer, Treecreeper, Hawfinch, Goldfinch, Chaffinch, Blue Tit, Long-tailed Tit, Robin, Goldcrest, Woodlark, Stonechat, Meadow Pipit, Mistle Thrush, Blackbird, Woodpigeon, Stock Dove, Lapwing, Mallard, Canada Goose, Grey Squirrel, midges and I heard a Raven, Wren, Great Tit and other woodpeckers.
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ladynightmare913 · 3 years
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Red Rose, Blood Moon
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Welcome to Chapter 6! This is an original story inspired by the tale of  Red Riding Hood. I would like to say a special thank you to my best friend and co-author Olivia ( @asunshinepuff​ )for joining me on in writing this world onto paper. 
CW: This chapter contains mentions of drunks, blood and traps. You have been warned.
This story contains only original characters created by Olivia and myself. For those of you who want to be tagged, feel free to send an ask to me or Olivia on her blog. If you have any questions, theories, or curiosities about any of our characters or how the story will progress, send them to the ask box!
I hope you enjoy! Now without further adieu!
Chapter 6: The Golden Doe
Her eyes darted from the drunk man staring up at Red with terror filled eyes, to the blooded coated blade that laid on the wooden floor of the tavern, and finally to Red who wouldn’t look away. 
“What was that racket?” The voice of the old woman called out from behind the counter. 
The woman’s voice was enough to break Rosabella from her spell of shock. Rosabella bent over, quickly picking up the blade, she looked at the frozen drunk and cleaned it on his shirt before placing it into its sheath. She placed herself between the old man and Red, holding her hand out to push him back if it came to that. 
Her sapphire eyes locked hard onto his ice blue ones. And she felt it,She couldn’t move, her heart began to beat erratically, the hair on the back of her neck rose. His gaze was intense, his presence radiated authority and dominance, it demanded respect. She felt the need to run, to lower her gaze in submission, she had never felt this way before. She had felt his presence before, it drew attention to him of course, but it wasn’t at this magnitude, it felt different too. He only continued to stare at her, but not. As if he wasn’t looking at her rather through her, at the old man. 
“Red please, stop it. NOW.” She growled out. 
Finally, her voice reached him, Red’s gaze finally snapped away from hers to kitchen doors. The old woman had just walked out from the kitchen doors. He blinked slowly, trying to gather his bearings. The old woman looked down to the old man, she kicked him harshly. 
“Silly old fool, go home.” She muttered. 
Rosabella quickly grabbed Red’s arm, “Pardon madam, but I am afraid we must be going,” She tugged Red along, he only looked at Rosabella in hesitation, “now,” she stressed. The old woman tried to reason with them to stay since their meals were nearly ready, but Rosabella insisted they leave.
He didn’t fight her this time. She led them to any alley, looking over her shoulder. No one seemed to notice them. Red eyed her skeptically. 
“No one noticed us.” He spoke as if he expected it.
Rosabella took a deep breath before she looked back at him. 
“Are you a warlock?” 
“Firstly, I am not overly fond of witches. Second don’t ever compare me to witches. And Thirdly, no, I am not a warlock .” He all but snarled out at her.
She rose a brow at his clear distaste of the topic. “Well what are you then? And why such distaste for witches, I happen to know one.”
His eyes narrowed in suspicion, he stepped back from her. “I don’t appreciate you berating me with offensive questions.” He turned away. Walking out of the alley onto the open street. 
Rosabella groaned in frustration. Quickly following him. “Where are you going?” 
“Anyplace where you are not.” He muttered. She scoffed in offense. 
“Well that’s it then?! You’re just going to walk away?” 
“I had planned to from the very beginning.” He didn’t look back. 
“We are not finished here.” She marched after him. 
“Oh but we are mademoiselle.” He replied sarcastically. 
Rosabella glared at his head. “You’re really going to leave me without any explanation with what just happened in that tavern?!” 
He simply sighed as he turned a corner. “Good day Rosabella.” 
And he was gone. Rosabella’s eyes scanned over the streets, but she couldn’t spot him anywhere. She gave a dry laugh, shaking her head, she turned back to the Tavern. The carriage had arrived. 
She handed the gold coins into the driver’s hand, he was an old man, with a small beard. 
“Where to mademoiselle?” His voice was soft and gentle, like a grandfather reading a child to sleep.
“Paris if you would be so kind.” She smiled. 
“Aye, but I’d have to make stops, it’s a long way.” 
“It’s no trouble at all. Thank you.”
“Hop on then.”  
And so she did. The carriage ride was silent for the most part. They would stop at inns for the night they didn’t reach Paris. Rosabella offered to pay for the elderly man’s room, to which he politely refused to accept her generosity. Saying she should save her money for better investments. They traveled this way for two days. 
“I’ll have to stop at the next village, a traveler will be joining us.” The old man told her. 
Rosabella only nodded her head in understanding. So when the next village arrived, the carriage door opened to reveal the most handsome of strangers. At least that was what the swooning women were saying, not at all being discreet about their fancy towards him. 
“Ah, I did not know I would have the honor of traveling with such a belle.” The man was tall, his hair was a soft curly brown, lightly tanned skin, and the most striking pair of hazel eyes that seemed to have speck of gold in the sunlight. He had a light beard on his face, it was smooth and freshly shaven. He wore a black leather coat with a white shirt, black pants and boots. 
Rosabella flushed at the bold words from the man. She startled when the man gently reached for her gloved hand, placing a kiss on the back of it. He smiled. 
“I am Bardolph Sinclair. And who might you be?” His eyes looked over her. 
She studied him for a moment, at least while she tried to calm herself from his flattery. He didn’t seem to be bold enough to sit next to her at least. He was rather gentlemanly. Not at all like the way had behaved. 
“Monsieur, you are too hasty to ask for my name upon mere seconds upon our first meeting. Surely you will understand why I must not tell you. I do not know you.”  
“Of course, I apologize if I have offended you.” He bowed his head.  The carriage started to move again.
“It’s no trouble. I am pleased to make your acquaintance Monsieur Sinclair.” 
“Please, call me Bardolph.” He smiled, Rosabelle couldn’t help but feel she should smile back. And she did. 
When night fell upon them, the carriage stopped to rest at an inn. Rosabella and Bardolph both tried to offer their help to the old man, but again he refused. Shooing them away to go eat their supper. As they walked, Rosabella looked up to the sky, it was a waxing gibbous tonight. 
“Beautiful isn’t it?” Bardolph spoke. Watching Rosabella.
Rosabella only eyed him playfully before turning to the inn. Bardolph chuckled as he followed close behind her. When they entered the inn, the first thing they noticed was that it was packed full. 
“Perhaps we will be forced to share a room.” Bardolph grinned at Rosabella. 
She did her best not to roll her eyes as she scoffed. “I’d sooner sleep in the stables.”
“Oh, you wound me my fair lady.” He clutched his chest.  “But I would never allow such a thing, I would sleep in the stables while you sleep peacefully in a warm bed.” 
Rosabella only shook her head as she took a seat in a booth. Bardolph joined her. A waitress came and took their order, when the door burst open, a group of hunters staggering inside, carrying a wounded man. 
“Quickly clear a table! He’s wounded!” A man shouted, pushing aside the food and laying the hunter’s body onto it. Rosabella stood to her feet, briskly walking towards them. 
The wounded man’s foot was caught in a metal trap with metal teeth. Rosabella frowned, the man would have a limp for the rest of his life. 
“What happened??
“We were out hunting for venison, we had set up traps to help us catch one. But we forgot where we placed one and now his foot was nearly cut off. 
“We didn’t forget where the traps were placed! Someone must’ve tampered with it!” Another yelled out.
“Is there a doctor?!” 
Thankfully there was a doctor, who quickly sedated the young man and removed the trap. He was sent to rest in one of the inn’s rooms. The hunters all look haggard and exhausted. Rosabella sat next to the man who had helped drag the wounded man in. He was young, and looked terrified. It must’ve been his first hunt at night.  
“Why did you have to place traps? Surely there are enough deer to have caught?” She inquired softly. The poor boy was pale. 
“We tried just using our arrows and spears, but we would never see any. So we placed traps…”    
Rosabella frowned, she may not have been from this particular village but she could definitely catch the scent of a venison on the wind. 
“Why do you think someone tampered with the traps?” 
“Because we’re catching just any deer, we’re trying to catch the Golden Doe.”  
Her eyes widen a fraction. “The Golden Doe? Isn’t that just a legend?” 
“Aye, but my father swore on his mother’s grave he saw it once. A coat that shines gold in sunlight.” 
“If he saw it, why would you hunt it, surely such a wonderful beast would be left alone for its beauty.” She asked gently. She herself did hunt venison but she would never kill such a creature. “Do you plan to hang it up on your wall as a trophy?” She asked bluntly. 
The hunters frowns. “No, we are hunting it to heal someone from our village. Legend says the Golden Does’s meat can cure any illness.” 
Rosabella’s shoulders fell. So, a noble cause. If it had been for something as trivial as a trophy, she would have stopped them from hunting the poor doe. “I see… ” 
“Forgive me but, no has seen the doe in twenty years yes?” Bardolph spoke, Rosabella had forgotten that he was still awake. “Surely it must’ve died by now. At least that’s what I’ve heard from my travels.” 
“Aye, but the Golden Doe has lived for many centuries.” The hunter answered. The young boy looked up to the hunter.  
“Perhaps someone else has already caught the doe… ”
“No, someone’s protecting it. I’m sure of it. It’s all the same. A monstrous beast was never far from the Golden Doe, always  chasing away hunters.”  
“Perhaps the monstrous beast finally changed its mind and finally ate the doe?” Bardolph offered. He leaned onto the table. 
“It wasn’t a monstrous beast, it’s the Lady of the Woods who protects the doe.” The boy looks to Rosabella. “That’s what my mother told me, she doesn’t like hunters in her forests.”  
“Silly boy, it’s the beast! It tampered with our traps” 
Rosabella finally interjected. “If it was the beast who tampered with the traps, how could it have the intelligence to do so? It is a beast is it not?” 
The hunters all died down, they began to look at each other and whisper amongst themselves. Ah, they didn’t have an answer. Rosabella only chuckled. “Perhaps it is simply a normal person who doesn’t wish to see the doe harmed.” 
“But we need the doe’s meat to heal my wife!” The hunter exclaimed. 
Rosabella’s gaze softened. “Has seen a doctor?” 
“Yes…” His eyes were pained. 
Rosabella nodded her head. “I see,” She lowered her gaze. “Well, what if I came to your village, and tried to heal her myself.” 
“What?” The hunter looked perplexed. Then desperate. “How?”  
Rosabella stood to her feet. A smile on her lips. “I am well versed in healing, and if I can cure your wife, you must swear to never hunt for the Golden Doe.”  
The hunter nodded. Bardolph looked intrigued. 
“I swear it.”
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papermajesty · 4 years
Text
redmancy
— the act of loving in return.
Tumblr media
“A boy born of myth, against every instinct, travels to the metaphorical ends of the earth, hoping to catch and preserve a love he never thought he could have.”
Verse: Spiritborne
Characters: Seamus Frost, Selina Calabrese
Rating: T
Word count: 4433
Let it be known, there were very few things that Seamus would go to the ends of the world for.
After living for as long as he had, one eventually learnt to keep few things close to the heart. Everything was temporary, after all — words, promises, even his very memories. Try as he might, they all eventually slipped through his fingers like grains of sand. What was the point of devoting his heart and mind to things that were destined to break them?
This was what he told himself, every time he was tempted to break his invisible code. He whispered it to himself in the silence of a golden twilight, looking on as his mother was lowered into the earth, followed far too closely by the first girl he’d ever loved. He gasped it as he gripped a fallen brother in arms’ hand against his chest, blood and grief tasting bitter on his tongue. He bit it out as Manhattan’s Upper East Side’s moon painted whorls of silver on skin barely covered by silk sheets, ripping his suit jacket from the floor and turning his back, eyes flinty in the dark. “Everything was temporary.” He had made an arse of himself in the name of his code, sacrificing kindness and cheer for brusqueness and snark in the face of anything remotely resembling the possibility of comfort. He shrank away from light, from love, from peace, and told himself that at least he was protected, at least he was safe.
And yet.
And yet, and yet, and yet.
If he were typical, a puff of white steam would have billowed from his lips as he sighed, turning his cheek up to the moonless sky that domed this backwater city, sprinkling snowflakes that drifted down and rested on the black wool of his coat. His hands were stuffed into his pockets, one of them gently brushing a slip of paper that detailed exactly how unwanted he was in his current location, complete with a death threat and an announcement that she didn’t need him for anything, thank you very much. His eyes swept past the urban scenery, watching as the wraiths of city nightlife dawdled on street corners and sped down alleyways, leaving him the lone idiot foreigner standing stock still under a lamppost, looking remarkably innocent and very pickpocketable. Of course, to catch the mouse — hah — he wanted, looking that way was probably beneficial, but that was only if she didn’t know his face.
She did know his face. Very well. She’d probably say too well, knowing her.
God, he missed her. He missed her laugh, her smile, her face first thing in the morning, her awful way with jokes and her utter lack of comedic timing. She was cheek and mischief personified into copper corkscrew curls and glinting hazel eyes, and for the longest time she’d seemed like just another blip in the eons long timeline of his life. She was to be another strange character he’d had the pleasure to meet, a random American thief with too much time on her hands and nothing worthwhile to spend it on.
Until he started seeing her everywhere he went. Until she started to inexplicably worm her way into his everyday life. Until he found her only two steps behind him on some London rooftop, gripping onto his coat with a smile like diamonds and lips that whispered like a secret and a declaration all at once: “Gotcha.”
She was nothing. Then, suddenly, she was everything.
And here he was, having crossed to the metaphorical ends of the world for her. His fingers crumpled the paper in his pocket, and he tried valiantly to resist temptation, before succumbing with a sigh and pulling her last note to him out. It was written in an almost unreadable scrawl, with ink that looked suspiciously like it came from his favourite fountain pen. Despite its contents, he huffed a laugh, gazing fondly at the messy writing, bare fingers brushing the angrily written warnings and accusations.
Seamus,
I never wanted this. Don’t come looking for me.
Whatever happened between us, all of it, it doesn’t matter. It never did.
If you find me, you’ll wish you’d have left me alone.
I hate
You’re the worst.
Selina.
Seamus closed his eyes, imagining how she would have looked writing the words in his hand. She would have probably been all scrunched up, expression furious and limbs tensed, ready to fly off into the night. She had probably wanted to write down more, but that would have revealed that she actually did care about him, and heaven forbid she let him know anything like that.
Or... maybe she didn’t. And this was all for nothing.
The thought brought a wry smile to his face. Classic Selina. He would never be able to predict her. Her actions were incomplete and erratic, with no real pattern other than her own whims and fancies. When they’d first met in the back of a London alley, he had originally thought her to be an oversized alley cat. The way she had tried to rob him was remarkably strange. He had not expected a girl instead from the quick slashes and scratches at his coat, but, well, she had never failed to surprise him, even from the get go.
Frost had speckled the leather of her jacket, blindingly white against the black. Her arm had been trapped against the wall by a chunk of ice that flared out unnaturally in jagged strokes, following the strike of his arm. Her eyes had flashed dangerously in the moonless night.
“You should’ve picked on someone your own size,” he had growled, eyes flashing blue in the glow of his ice.
She had bared her teeth. Alley cat. “What are you, some kind of freak?”
He had cocked his head. So recklessly brave. “You could say so.”
He had wanted to leave her there — the sun was beginning to rise, and the ice would have melted eventually. But there was something in the way she glowered at him, the way she beat the heels of her boots against the wall in frustration, the curl of her fists. A certain franticness and fear. Not of him, but of the city around them.
His fingers had curled into his palm. I should leave her. If she had the gall to rob a man blind in an alley, she could handle the London underbelly. He didn’t owe her a thing.
Her gaze had snapped to his. His breath had caught.
… He’d fractured her arm, anyway.
He wanted to believe that he had just felt bad for injuring her, but when she ripped her freshly bandaged arm away from him, eyes trained to the floor with a grumbled out ‘thanks’, he had let his fingers hover over the leather of her jacket sleeve a couple seconds too long before pulling away.
Sighing, Seamus folded the note. So she’d had him since the beginning. What else was new? A wave of frustration crested over him at the thought. If everything was temporary, why had the feelings remained when he’d ripped the note from its innocuous perch on his bedside table? Everything he felt for her: joy, irritation, guilt, affection — they’d stuck to his mind like wads of cotton on Velcro, refusing to fade, as luminescent and bright as the day they had sprouted.
She’d somehow had her claws stuck in him from day one, and now, he’d be damned before he gave up on her.
How could he? She had dragged him back from hell. She’d snapped and snarled and slapped him back to his senses whenever he got caught on the dangerous precipice that led to damnation. He still remembered the smell of her hair when she gripped at his back one chilly night on some obscure rooftop, her face hidden in his chest as she heaved out a breath that sounded too big for her body.
“What do you think you’re doing?” He’d asked. His voice had felt dead in his mouth, ashy on his tongue.
“Saving you,” she had bit out from her hiding place. “Because you’re too stupid to save yourself.”
Seamus’ eyes fluttered closed against the scene in his mind’s eye. The paper felt thin in his fingers, scarily thin — like at any moment, the smallest spark might set it aflame and crumble it to ashes. For all of winter’s might he possessed in his veins, he felt powerless to stop it, should it happen. He would have probably deserved it.
Which was stupid, once he considered it. There hadn’t been anything wrong between them. If anything, things had been going great. She’d finally stopped visiting exclusively in the night. She would have breakfast with him and Jamie every once in a while. Sometimes, she’d even use the front door. Her note and departure had felt like a kick to the chest, because he had never seen it coming.
The shock had propelled him here, he guessed. Even if she had abandoned him, even if he’d done something wrong, he couldn’t believe that she would want nothing to do with him ever again. He couldn’t believe that whatever was between them, tenacious and fragile as it was, had broken without him trying to fix it first.
Everything was temporary, but just this once, he didn’t want it to be.
His fingers tightened on the note as he exhaled. He moved to slip it back into his pocket, before abruptly, its presence disappeared. His fingers clutched at empty air as they stuttered halfway to his pocket, and his eyes snapped open, flashing blue in the night as his power pushed beneath his skin, ready to strike. But there was no target to hit.
For a moment, he deliriously applauded himself for jinxing it. The paper must have actually caught aflame and crumbled in his fingers, just as he had predicted. Bloody good job on his part. Likely, too, considering his rotten luck.
But then, clumps of snow pelted his hair, and automatically, he looked up. The light of the streetlamp blinded anything above it, but he didn’t have to see her to know she was there. Silent as she was, he could still recognise the subtle way she shifted on her perch, little clumps of snow dotting the pavement around his feet as they fell from the streetlamp’s arm, disturbed by her weight.
The city seemed to fall silent around them, the distant sounds of car horns and roadside chatter softening to nothing as they appraised each other. He could feel her eyes travelling up and down his body, and felt almost cheated at how he couldn’t make out a single feature on her. But he reckoned that was how she wanted it.
It felt like ages before she broke the silence. “I told you not to come,” she said, her voice rolling effortlessly over his shoulders, unlocking them and miraculously relaxing his entire posture. Mentally, he scoffed. She was probably about to berate him, yet his body still responded to her voice like a balm.
Her statement hung in the air for a couple seconds, before he exhaled. “You did,” he admitted.
Her boot made a squeaky noise against the metal as she shifted. “Then what the hell are you doing here?” She asked, harsher than any ice he could ever conjure. He suppressed a wince.
Seamus cleared his throat, shrugging one shoulder. “This city’s tourist attractions are something else,” he said. “Maybe I’m just sightseeing.” 
“Sure,” she said, scoffing. “I’ve heard raving reviews about this particular lamppost from tourists all over.”
Seamus bit down on his lower lip. “I’ve heard it’s a favourite meeting spot for alley cats,” he said, forcing nonchalance into his words. “Miraculously, I’ve become a cat person in recent years.”
Silence stretched between them. For a moment, he wondered if he had overstepped, before realising that he had passed that line a few hours ago when he got on the train from Manhattan to here. Head first, eyes closed, he supposed. There was no going back now.
Selina seemed to have gone stock still above him. “I don’t know where you heard that from,” she said stiffly. “Someone’s lying to you.”
He huffed a disbelieving breath. “Then why are you here?” He asked. He knew the answer he wanted to hear. He wanted her to swing down from her roost and tell him that she was here to see him, that she didn’t really want to go, and that there was a reason behind all of this. Even if she had wanted to go, he thought he’d earned an explanation as to why this had gone wrong: how he’d messed this temporary good thing up and had it ripped away from him before he could truly appreciate it. He felt alone and too young again, vulnerable against the chilly London winds as Alice was lowered into her grave, and he wanted her to block those winds and tell him that things were going to be alright, that she’d protect him, that he’d be okay.
But everything was temporary, wasn’t it?
Selina was silent, and he could almost hear the cogs working in her brain, weighing each option, deciding on what to say to him. Her fingers flashed in the light as she adjusted her grip on the lamppost. His own twitched, anticipating a fall to catch her from, though he knew that she would never fall, and even if she did, she’d always land on her feet.
“... I don’t know,” she said finally. He had to blink a couple times before he fully registered her answer. Her voice was impossibly quiet. “I know what I wrote on this thing, and I know I meant it, but I’m still here.” With a crinkle, the paper fell to his feet, floating to rest on a small mound of fallen snow. “I can’t… deal, with the way you make me feel, but… I can’t seem to cut you off.”
He couldn’t help it. He felt hope prickle at his heart. His heart usually rested at a beat so slow it could barely be detected, but at her words, it jumped to hyperspeed. His fingers almost felt warm. “How do I make you feel?” He tested the waters, balling his fists in his pockets.
She huffed something unsavoury under her breath. “I shouldn’t be saying anything,” she said. “I don’t even want to see you.” But she didn’t move from her perch.
He chanced a ghost of a smile. “Cat,” he said. “How do I make you feel?”
He heard her frustrated grumble all the way to his toes. “Good!” She said, her sudden volume startling him into taking a step back. “Happy! Content! I don’t know!” The lamppost creaked with her weight as she shifted. “I’m not used to it!” Her voice cracked on the last word. “I don’t know what to do with it, with any of it. I just…” Her voice trailed off with a desperate air, like she was dying to finish her train of thought, but couldn’t put it together well enough to say out loud. His heart palpitated in his chest. How could he respond? He longed to push off the ground and come eye-to-eye with her, to see the emotions flickering in her unfathomable eyes and find some way to comfort her, but she stayed blended in the shadows, intangible and untouchable. All he could do was wait.
“I just… I don’t want to feel like this,” she said finally, voice small and unfamiliarly weak in the night air. “I just want my old life back, Seamus. The one where I… I didn’t have to worry about hurting anyone, because they’d always hurt me first.”
And suddenly, it clicked. Selina was an alley cat, a pickpocket, an orphan with very few she could truly call friend. She had never had a place to visit during the day, never had anyone to have breakfast with, never had the chance to ring the front door. Her life existed in the shadows, and it was only when he’d brought her home to bandage her arm that she’d stepped out. Maybe he had done something wrong to scare her off, but in the end, she hadn’t run because of him. She’d run because of herself, because she was scared that if she stayed with him and the world he came from, she’d have somewhere or call home, somewhere she could feel happy, somewhere she was…
“Safe,” he murmured. He heard her go still above him.
“What?” She asked.
He blinked, before looking up at the space he assumed was her perch. “That’s it, isn’t it?” He asked. “Why you didn’t want to stay.”
“I don’t—“
“It’s because I— we make you feel safe,” he fumbled, bending down to snatch up the note. “You didn’t have that. But we gave it to you. And now that you could have it, you’re scared. Scared because—“
He could practically feel her hackles rising. “I’m not scared—“
“Scared,” he said, firmly, “because you could lose it.” He barked a short laugh. “Selina, that’s the point! That’s what having a home feels like!”
More snow pelted him from above. “What the hell are you even talking about, Frost?” She asked, tone gruff.
“Maybe I’m completely off base,” he said, feeling a grin stretching his lips as he smoothed out her note. “But I think that you wanted to run away not because you didn’t want this, but because you’re afraid of wanting it. Because if you want it, you’ll have something to call your own. You’ll have people who care about you and who you’ll care about in return. You’ll have a place to stay and come home to after a hard day. You’ll have something that matters.” He scanned the words in his palm. “‘Whatever happened between us, all of it, it doesn’t matter. It never did.’ ”
He heard Selina shift above him. “Stop that,” she muttered. If he didn’t know her so well, he’d have thought she was angry at him. But he knew that tone. She was feeling shocked, maybe even guilty.
���‘If you find me, you’ll wish you’d have left me alone.’,” he continued. “Except it did matter, and I did find you, but you haven’t told me to get lost yet.” He looked up at her again, folding the note neatly in his hands. “You want this, Selina. You want to come home.” His fingers felt so warm. “Don’t you?”
She didn’t answer immediately, and for a moment, he thought she’d somehow dematerialised from the spot above him. He felt a foreign kind of anxiousness creep in over the hope, a kind he hadn’t felt in a long time. “... Or, maybe—”
A shadow blocked the streetlamp’s light, making him blink rapidly, before he felt cool fingers brush his hand. His vision refocused on Selina, in the flesh, her hood barely containing the copper corkscrew curls he’d missed so much that barely brushed his chin. Her head was lowered, gaze focused on the space between their feet, but her fingers poked out of her jacket sleeve to grip at the hand still holding the note. Snowflakes continued to dot her hair and jacket, stark white against the black. He felt a surge of nostalgia.
She didn’t speak for a moment, though her jaw worked rapidly. He felt his lungs tighten with a held breath. It seemed unlikely, even now, that she would come home with him. After all, he could never predict her. But he hoped beyond hope that for once in his life, he’d done something right, and that for once he didn’t have to watch as something precious slipped through his fingers.
He hoped that for once, he could have something permanent.
Her throat cleared. “I…” She murmured. “I don’t know... if I could ever… you know.” Hazel eyes glinted at him beneath her hood. “I don’t know if I could call this, whatever this is, mine.” Her fingers tightened their grip. “But I… you’re… you’re right.” She looked up, catching his gaze and his breath. A thousand emotions flashed by in them, too quick for him to catch, but he felt a tremendous pressure press in on him, feeling the weight of each one nonetheless. He knew how hard it was for her to admit what she was saying. “I never had a home. I never had a family. It’s always been me against the world.” She chuckled. “Even when I met Donnie, I couldn’t… fully relax around him, and he was—is—my best friend. I ran away from that too. But you…” she made an incoherent noise. “You tried to kill me, but then you saved me. You took a look at a random street girl and opened your door to her, even though you owed her nothing. You let me meet your sister, your friends, your family… then you gave me a chance to be a part of that family.” She laughed something soft.
“I ran away because when I saw you, I could let myself relax. I didn’t have to fight. You…” Her gaze flickered from their linked hands to his eyes. “You’re right. I felt safe.”
He couldn’t keep the fondness out of his voice. “And you were scared of that.”
She snorted. “Can you blame me?” She asked, picking the note from his hands with her free hand. “I'm what you like to say so much: an alley cat. Alley cats don’t have homes.”
“This one does,” he said, and he nearly startled himself with how confidently he said it. There was no hint of doubt in his voice. He couldn’t imagine his London apartment without her window escapades and her lounging on the kitchen counter anymore. Gently, he interlaced their fingers, feeling his own warmth seep into her hand. “That is,” he hedged, “if she wants it.”
A sliver of a smile ghosted her lips as she watched their fingers clasp each other. Something felt right about that image. “She does,” she admitted, running a thumb along the side of his palm. Her free hand crushed the note in its palm. “She… really does.”
A weight lifted off his chest, and he felt his shoulders sag with obvious relief. “Good,” he sighed, tipping his head back, “if not travelling here would have been incredibly painful.”
Selina raised a brow, looking up at him with a small grin. “What, you can’t handle this city?” She asked. He couldn’t even be mad at her insinuation. The grin on her lips was far too blinding to detest.
“The tourism here is decrepit,” he raised a brow of his own, mirroring her expression, “and I would rather die than stay a night at the ‘Rochester Abyss’.”
“What? That doesn’t exist. Someone is seriously lying to you,” she said, then paused. “... Why would you stay? You could have just left if I had told you to scram. You don’t owe me anything.”
He huffed a laugh, bringing his free hand up to smooth a snowflake from her cheek. “I wouldn’t have given up,” he admitted, watching as her cheeks flushed a delightful red. “I’d have stayed a week, or a month, or longer, if I needed to. Even if you didn’t want to come home with me, I’d have wanted to make sure you were okay before heading back, and… if I’d done something wrong, I’d want to know what.”
Her gaze flitted to the side, a grumble escaping her throat. “You’d never,” she said, sounding almost petulant. “You’ve always been good to me, even when you were being stupid.” She rolled her eyes. “I wanted to hate you, you know, but you didn’t give me enough ammo to.”
He grinned then, a real, big one, feeling the last vestiges of anxiety break away from his heart. “I’m glad I didn’t,” he said. “I didn’t want this to be temporary.”
She looked back at him then, a disbelieving laugh on her tongue. “Temporary?” She asked, looking almost amused. “Seamus, you do a lot of things half-assedly, but you’ve never made me feel like my place was temporary.” She pressed his palm to her cheek. “I want to stay with you and everyone else for as long as I can. Does that sound temporary to you?”
He felt like he could fly him and her home in one shot then. He feared his face might get stuck in a ridiculous smile for the rest of his life. “No,” he said softly. “It doesn’t.”
Her grin burned bright into his mind, searing into his eyelids. “Good,” she said, sounding delightfully satisfied. Her feet shuffled a step forward, the hood of her jacket falling back with the movement. He got a face full of grinning, copper and hazel warmth, and his stomach swooped, like he was a kid again and his crush  had just smiled at him from across the room. It was giddying. Terrifying in its intensity, but oh so exciting in its reality. This was real, and it was good, and most importantly, it was here. Was it permanent? With his lifespan, hah, but he’d be damned if he let it slip through his fingers now.
Everything was temporary. He was beginning to realise this. He couldn’t stop it. He couldn’t defy it. But… he could learn from it. Selina was another blip on his eons long timeline, but she was a very real, very loud blip, and she made his heart go insane and his gut drop from beneath him, and even if it would hurt him in the end… he was beginning to think that he didn’t care anymore.
No, not that he didn’t care… he was beginning to accept it.
There were very few reasons he’d go to the ends of the world for. Selina Calabrese, with her unkempt hair and diamond smile and cat like eyes, would always be one of them.
His cheeks flushed red as he realised this. He caught her eyes widening at the sight, but before she could marvel at it, he swept an arm around her waist, pressing her to his chest. “Let’s go home,” he said softly, and the smile that unfurled across her lips proved time to be a bitch who didn’t matter in the slightest, because it’d never steal that image from his mind.
Her fingers tightened in his coat, melting the snowflakes that dotted the material. He had never felt warmer in his life. “Yeah,” she breathed, white steam billowing into the sky. “Bring me home, Seams.”
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veevvee · 5 years
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sorry it took so long @derelict-blade , and sorry if it's not what you expected >///<
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- the date on this thing says "October, 13, 2287", and all the clues lead me to believe that... the prototype 0078-yh...
- one of the functions of this thing is a journal on which I can write and save in a flash drive similar to a mini-disk (who uses mini-disks anymore?).I've decided to take note of everything that may help me understand what happened and to sort things out; if it's true that it's been 270 years since the day of my test on myself... no, I don't want to think about "that" question, now it's of no use to me.
- I managed to get out of this "vault", finally, only to come back with my tail between my legs. The scenery presented to me outside makes me believe that, at some point, during my hibernation, that atomic war finally happened.The state of the surrounding vegetation suggests that at least 50 years have passed.
- I think I killed all the giant cockroaches that infested the vault and I was able to make some terminals work, at least those are still intact... The hacking was so outdated that it was literally the last card I played. I found the diary of one of the scientists who worked here, and with it the confirmation of a nuclear strike occurred in date October 23, 2077; so they brought me here with the prototype between 2017 and 2077 and they used us to develop other cryopods, in which they locked twelve people against their will... those people survived the bombs just to be imprisoned here, maybe forever… or at least until the reactor stops working.
- I've had enough for today, I'll try to sleep and continue tomorrow. It's so cold here, but it could be me...
- 10/16: I decided to try to explore the surroundings once more, at the first giant spider that I meet I'll shoot myself straight in the head. I brought with me the gun I found, 22 bullets, no, 21... I’ll keep one for myself.
- before I left I checked the vital signs of the twelve hibernates, they are fine, as long as you can feel fine in a cryogenic induced coma... I promised (to who?) that every once in a while I'll be back to check on their conditions. now let's see how I handle this shit…
- I stopped almost immediately, at a gas station (?) a few steps from the vault. From the hillside you could see a hamlet, very small, maybe ten houses, but for now I prefer to avoid - I was going to write "population centres". I… I'm too scared of who or what I could find there, but here I was lucky, I met a dog, an healthy and friendly-looking German Shepherd... REGULAR SIZE. Good boy.
- from here you can see what looks like a water supply, and if it’s telling the truth, we are (meaning the dog and I) near Concord, meaning, we are not too far from Cambridge... I wonder if it wouldn't be better to… all I had was there... I need to see with my own eyes that... now...
- a few hours after leaving the gas station (??) it started raining, the dog and I (yes, he’s following me, and I must admit that I feel safer now), we found a shelter in an abandoned tool shed. I set up a bed and I locked myself in, now I want to take advantage of this time available to learn how to use this... wrist-computer (?); "pip-boy 3000" is says here, yeah there's no way I'm saying that...
- 10/17: I fell asleep while "playing" with this minicomputer, I were fooled by the puppy's body heat, or maybe it was his smell… but if it keeps away the beasts then it's worth it. I had breakfast with some canned water, I found old boxes of processed food that I don't trust to eat, I keep them aside for when I have no other choice... that could be a matter of hours, since I have not eaten in four days... oh right, 269 years, 10 months and 6 days, thanks a lot brain.
- the dog (I wonder if I should give him a name) hunted down a couple of birds to feed himself, I got a good look at them, he's so lucky he’s not a fussy.
- The dog is much smarter than many people I've met, he helped me find some medicines and A RIFLE! 38 caliber, telescopic sight, silencer, and 34 cartridges in a hip bag. Now I'm less afraid of meeting a giant spider... or nearly... He also brought me a can of Cram, regardless of the expiration date, I never liked it, but if I want to keep going with this experiment I'll have to come to terms with it, sooner or later.
- 10/18: I had to stop my entries because, like an idiot, I attracted a dogs pack with that goddamned Cram and... I had to... I've never shot anything alive before yesterday... I had never killed voluntarily... but those dogs were... I've never seen them so aggressive, they looked like those birds with which the dog (the friendly one) feeds occasionally, spot baldness, purulent sores, I managed not to get bit by the skin of your teeth. Who knows from what kind of bacterial mutant disease they were infected... they were five and... I shot three of them in the head after the dog (the friendly one) broke the first two's necks... then we had to run, I feared that the shots could have attracted something, or someone, even worse. Now we are safely locked in a wrecked bus, I cried for an hour and slept for another.
- it's an oddly beautiful full moon night, I can see the silhouettes of the buildings in Cambridge, if I leave at the first lights I could get to my old apartment by nightfall, if it works for everyone…
- in order to get my shit together I made an inventory of my "equipment": the clothes I'm currently wearing - a scarf (now in the bag) - my glasses - other sunglasses (now in the bag) - my pager (broken) - wallet - money ($ 518 in cash, $ 11 and 57 cents in change) - my I.D. did not survive the freezing, the data is illegible - 10mm gun - 17 ammo of the abovementioned gun - caliber 38 sniper rifle - 34 cartridges of the abovementioned rifle - 6 units of canned water - 1 unit of half eaten Cram (it sucks, but edible) - 2 units of Pork n’ Beans – 2 units of Fancy Lads Snack Cakes – a blue jumpsuit, new, too big for me (now in the bag).
- the food preservation industry has made tremendous strides while I was sleeping ... bah, America.
- inside the vault it didn't work properly, but I noticed that the radio of this minicomputer has intercepted some frequencies; as soon as I find a shelter I'll try to tune in. It's surely an indication of post-apocalyptic civilization, I don't know yet whether to rejoice or not.
-oh, this minicomputer also has a built-in thermometer, according to it I've a bit of fever and I'm almost dehydrated.
- I would give my left arm for a hot bath...
- … and the right one for some not 300-year-old cigarettes.
- I can't get those dogs out of my head... among all that happened to me, those dogs...
- it becomes increasingly difficult to avoid thinking of "that question"...
- 10/19 part 2: while I was having breakfast with the leftover of that Cram (ugh) I saw a person pass by, a woman, along the way nearby: she was alone, if we don't count the naked cow loaded with stuff (it had two heads?? Perhaps my dehydration is more severe than I expected), and she was armed, if we can consider weapon a gun made out of twigs and scrap metal (???), the dog was not alarmed, I was about to go and talk to her, but I'm a coward and I missed my chance...
- I waited to see her disappear behind a distant corner, then I waited another twenty minutes to not hear gunshots, at that point I followed her steps, we are pretty close to Cambridge, and more houses can mean more people, people who could be hostile, that's why I took the safe off.
- I wonder if it's not the case to go to the police station... I'm not stupid enough to hope to find Edward there, but maybe there’s some stock that could turn useful, weapons, ammunition, ESPECIALLY ammunition, better yet body armour, anti-aggression equipment... yes, it's DEFINITELY the case to go to the police station.
- Edward… when the war broke out he should have been 95... who knows if no fuck no, I can't think of this now, I don't want to do the same calculation for those assholes, they are dead, they are dead they are dead they are all dead I’m sorry Edward
- 10/19 part 3: I have two hours of light, I'm wasting time on this fire escape, it wasn't easy to get the dog up, he didn't want to hear of it, but I thought it was safer to try to get in from the roof, I didn't even see the main entrance... if there were people inside... if those people were armed and hostile... if that woman, that of the two-headed cow, went around armed there must be a reason... if those people were trying to kill me, how much further could I claim self-defense? Would I be able to defend myself? Would I be able to ... kill them before they kill me? This is going to be the most difficult experiment that I must ever conduct.
-OK that’s new: there are signs of recent activity, someone tried to set up a shelter in here, there’s ammo but no weapon, makeshift mattresses, FOOD, but I didn't touch anything; whoever did this could come back and I need to be ready, perhaps to fight, perhaps for a peaceful dialogue... I hope for the latter.
-10/21 I'm absolutely the most idiotic and lucky person in the world: after my last entry two days ago, due to the dog's body heat and to my belly full of 200 year old treats, I fell asleep AGAIN... I'm such a dumb shit…! The first unregistered voice that I heard in eight days woke me up, under threat and pointing to me what I later realized was a weapon, who highly invited me to identify myself and to declare my intentions. I've never been so close to wet my pants, but luckily that man was open to dialogue, maybe I'll write something about him and his group later, they are four, they know what they’re doing, and they don't want to hurt me... apparently.
- and now the bad news: when I was woken up the dog was gone. Danse, I mean Paladin Danse of the Brotherhood of Steel (?), said there was no dog with me when he found me, I looked for him a bit nearby the others warned me not to go too far because Cambridge is Ghoul infested (???)... that dog can take care of himself, he'll be fine... please let him be fine...
-Haylen wait, Scribe Haylen (oh my fucking god), is teaching me how to use the latest technology, hardware and stuff, she was nothing short of enthusiastic about my minicomputer, and advised me not to keep it inside my duffle bag, but always on my wrist (shit, it's as comfortable as a wooden underwear). She also told me to wear the jumpsuit I found in the vault, the one that was too big for me, because the fabric is made of a radiation-resistant material, has the ability to regulate body heat according as necessary and, lo and behold, it's not too big, the suit fits your size, you wear it, you wiggle in it a little bit, and it fits perfectly. I'm wearing it under my clothes, it's definitely TOO tight for my liking.
- speaking of radiations, Haylen says that the medicines I found are safe, in small doses even that pre-war food, although fresh food would be better (fresh food here???).
- I like Haylen, we share very much and I can talk to her pretty quietly, she asks a lot of questions, but can't say I wouldn't have done the same myself. Paladin Danse is doing his best to make me feel comfortable, he doesn’t always succeed, however I appreciate the effort, and his "power armor" is the coolest thing I've ever seen! Sometimes I find Knight Keane looking away from me, he hasn’t spoke to me in two days, almost makes me think he hates me, he would not be the first. Knight Rhys is dickhe
- Paladin Danse called a meeting in ten minutes, this time my presence is requested, and now that I'm writing it, I'm afraid it's because they've finally decided what to do with me...
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perri-berry · 5 years
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Write-tober 1, Growth
So for “Inktober” I have decided instead to write 1′000 word blurbs about the people within my book’s universe. Just regular, no name people to fill out the world within my book. If you’re not interested in reading anything you can block the posts with the tag: write-tober. If you do however read them, let me know if you like them or not! 
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More of the same really. The days go by; people mill about the market; guards brawl with local drunks; children run through the sunny park and worn down dirt, snow-covered paths, everything blurs together. Nothing exciting ever happens anymore. Even the fancy nobles who tread the same path every day carry the same expression, followed by their sullen servants. Any other time of the year I would keep the windows open and look up at the castle. Even though it is made of stone seemed to always shine in the sunlight; like water reflecting a brilliant sunset. Sometimes I dare to pretend it’s made of pure silver. Dreaming of the garden and the people roaming them. Oh to dream of the foods which my imagination could not even comprehend their flavors and aromas. The simple daydreams make me feel as if I’m being bathed in a golden sparkles but every now and again I have to come back to reality. With the snow falling nearly every day I’ve got to keep the house warm somehow; afterall the fireplace isn’t very big, barely holding more then two logs. 
The fire pops and hisses quietly behind me as I grumble. “No more thistle. Of course, there’s never any thistle in this house”. With my lips tensed and thin eyebrows drawn down I close the squeaky cabinet doors. Slapping my sides, I can see a small puff of dirt escape from my brown collared dress. I huff out a breath and grab the cloak hanging from the back of the chair. Its once bright red color now faded to a dull, almost faint greyish. Grabbing the woven basket next to the door, my mind wonders if Karlah and Doggins, downstairs will follow her and pick whatever thistle I miss. They’re a nice couple and they give me bread, family recipe with secret Gnome herbs, but it sends me absolutely wild when I intentionally leave patches of herbs and mushrooms for later and then they come through like a wildfire and leave nothing. At least fire brings life back to the forest eventually. 
Pulling the hood over my dark corkscrew hair, I brush a few strays out of my mouth. The snow was like the rain in the way that it makes my hair fly away into thirty-thousand different directions. I prefer the snow honestly. It makes everything seem brighter. Glancing at banks of snow outside the shops, I murmur “ah good, I can go get milk later”. Wrapped in warm furs, Wilheim shovels back the horde of snowflakes accumulating on his shop’s doorstep. I give him a warm wave. He flashes me a toothy grin as he returns my greeting. It’s hard to tell if it’s snow on Wilheim’s chin or if his beard is getting some silver in it. It was pleasing to look at either way. 
People trudge around me as I slowly make my way towards the forest line. The snow weighs heavy on the branches of the barren willow trees. Making the forest so dense that it looks like a dark cave, just waiting to be explored. In the Sar you can hear what seems like a lively band of creatures, each one singing their own happy little tune. Crossing the creek, I head deeper into the thicket; branches snapping under the weight of my now wet boots. A small clearing of thick ever-green bushes and a few large rocks blanketed in mound of white. “Perfect”.
I kneel down at the first bush and root around carefully at the base. Snow melted under my warm palms as I brushed it away to reveal the soft blue flower I sought after. It’s grey stem was thick and firm while the flower that sat atop it was almost like a puffball, delicate like. Plucking it, I threw it in the basket and continued foraging. One after the other. 
A crunch of snow from behind me made me stop. Figuring it was my neighbors, I looked over my shoulder. No Gnomes, no anyone. Just the gentle cascade of snowflakes against the dark grey backdrop of an elegant wolf. Its illustrious mane flowing in the cold Fres breeze. So close that I can see its short breath in the air. Its eyes watch me with great curiosity but also something you would see in the eyes of a child caught stealing a sweet, embarrassment. They were quite striking, its eyes; a blue so pale it could only compare to the glow that surrounds the moon. Without its head ever moving, its eyes snap back and forth between my basket and I. 
Swallowing with overwhelming fear, my throat feels like an arid Sunnas day. I can’t seem to stop my hands from trembling as they fumble towards my basket. Keeping my eyes locked with the beast, the touch of my basket makes me recoil my hand just in the slightest. I reach in the pile of flowers, trying to grasp only one. Very slowly, creeping my hand on the ground, pushing snow out of my way, I offer, what I can only imagine to be my last gift, to this stunning yet intimidating creature. I cannot even find the strength to move my hand back towards the safety of my body as I drop it at its paws.
Without waiting another moment, the wolf picks it up gingerly and turns away from me. Heading back into the forest, only leaving me with a tear rolling down my cheek and the sound of its footsteps getting softer and softer. My chest heaves for air as I smile, giving an uneasy, meek laugh. 
I suppose I should be grateful. After surviving the undead hordes and making it here, starting again, things always being the same would seem like a blessing to most. To me, it was stagnation in a corked bottle. With each startled breath, I breath in a bit more excitement. Good to know that things don’t stay more of the same forever.
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lord-of-fanfics · 6 years
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Team Mustang’s Ultimate Dating Guide
So, I will be writing a multi-chapter fanfiction detailing the dating adventures of all the members of Mustang unit ( as well as Rebecca and Hughes). Here is the first out of eight chapters:
You can also read it on fanfiction.net
Chapter 1: Jean Havoc VS. the World
Strike One: Ice Cold
After a long deliberation with himself, Jean Havoc came to the conclusion that it just wasn't his week. It had been less than a month since he came to Central and he was already drowning in unending heaps of paperwork. To make matters worse, his luck with the ladies hadn't been that spectacular either.
On his very first day, he was introduced to the newly formed Mustang unit. Much to his disappointment, the team consisted of five guys, including himself and only one female. The one and only- First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye. In all honesty, she did not seem like Jean's type, at all but he was determined to test his charm.
"Lieutenant Hawkeye that seems heavy, I'll carry it for you."
"I'm quite alright Lt. Havoc." she replied deadpan. Any other girl would have swooned but Jean was beginning to realize that the girls at Central were not so easily impressed.
"Lieutenant, this sure was a taxing week. I'm going drink to let off some steam. You're welcome to join-"
"No thank you. I don't fancy bars much, they often give me a headache."
"I see. Well, see you on Monday then." He replied sheepishly. This had never happened to him. Striking out once was fine, but twice?
The third time Jean was determined to woo Lt. Hawkeye. He even had a foolproof plan. Everyone had left the office except Lt. Hawkeye and himself. The Colonel was off to a meeting and the rest of the unit had gone home.
The Lieutenant had switched-off all the lights and was about to lock up the office when Jean approached her. The pale moonlight seeping into the lobby provided for a naturally romantic setting. Jean was sure that he would win over the Lieutenant this time.
"The moon looks beautiful, doesn't it?" He looked down at her gently.
"Hmm..." She paid little attention to him as she sorted through the last of the paperwork.
"But it's nothing in comparison to-"
"Lt. havoc I would prefer if you stopped chattering and helped me with this instead."
'Well, that was rather embarrassing, being shut down like that. Hopefully, no one saw me-" Jean's train of thought was cut short as he spotted the Colonel. 'When did he come back? Did he see?'
If he had seen it, he did not let on. He very casually made his way towards Jean and began chatting away. "Tell me, Havoc, do you have a death wish?"
"A death wish? Of course not." Jean answered as the Colonel lead him outside.
"Well, in that case, it's best you stay away from Lieutenant Hawkeye."
'Does he like her? Oh crap, what have I gotten myself into?'
Sensing Jean's discomfort, the Colonel added. "Just a friendly reminder. Every guy who has ever asked her out has been turned down. I even heard a rumour that she shot a guy who was being too persistent. Now, who's knows if that's true? But prevention is better than cure, is it not?"
"Sir." Havoc didn't believe the rumour but he did make up his mind to stay away from the Lieutenant.
Strike Two: The Dilemma
Jean reminded himself not to be disheartened by one failure. There were still plenty of girls in Central.
All his gloom disappeared when he saw her- Elena, or so her name-tag read. She was the new receptionist with the most beautiful blue eyes.
"Ah. How am I going to get any work done now?" He smirked at the girl.
"Pardon me?"
"Well, what I meant to say was that your eyes are just so beautiful. They'll easily distract me from my work." Lo and behold, Jean had found a beautiful woman to dine with that night.
"So Havoc, how are things with the pretty blonde?" Falman asked as he took a sip of beer.
"Great! She's totally into me, you know? It's been what, two-three weeks? We're doing great."
Jean would soon realize they were, in fact, not doing great.
"What in the world happened to you Havoc?" Colonel Mustang quirked an eyebrow in his direction.
"My girlfriend dumped me," Jean replied bitterly as he tenderly touched his reddened cheek.
"Why? What happened this time?"
The image of Elena slapping him across his face replayed on a continuous loop in his mind. Eventually, he distracted himself enough from the memory to answer the Colonel.
"She asked me, 'what was more important, me or your job?' "
"What a sad state of affairs." Major Armstrong shook his head sympathetically.
"Tell me about it! Any real man should be able to keep a job and a woman." The Colonel chided.
'And whose fault is that?!' Jean thought to himself but refrained from saying it.
After a moment of thought Col. Mustang turned to face the Major. "Major Armstrong you're from Central, introduce Havoc here to some nice girls."
'What is this guy up to?' Jean wondered.
"Let me see." It seemed that an idea had just struck the man. "My sister!"
'His sister?!'
"Yes, she's an exact replica of me." A shiver ran down Jean's spine.
The image that popped into his mind was grotesque at best and outright scarring at worst!
"She has captivating features and a winning smile..." The Major was saying and Jean was minutes away from dashing away.
"Hold it, Havoc." The Colonel grabbed his shoulder.
"I won't be able to sleep thanks to that image you guys have put in my mind!"
"Now Havoc, the Armstrongs are noble stock, heirs to great wealth and power. It would be useful to get cosy with them. This is chance of a lifetime for a country boy like you. You are on the fast track to fortune."
A coy smile played on the colonel's lips. "Don't think it over, it's an order you must go and meet her.
'I knew it! There is no way this man will do anything without ulterior motives!'
"You're enjoying this, aren't you sir?!"
Strike Three: Strong Men
'Why am I in a place like this?!' Jean straightened as Philip Armstrong took a seat across from him. Despite his discomfort, Jean was relieved that the dining table was absurdly long for it kept Philip a good distance away from him.
The dining room alone was adorned with crystal vases and large chandeliers. The furniture was made of the finest quality wood and Jean was certain that the cutlery was silver. He had never felt more out of place than he did at that moment. Jean was having trouble adjusting to city life, this kind of luxurious mansion was way out of his comfort zone.
"Ah, let me tell you about the Armstrong family... "He was saying but all Jean could think of was how all this man's off-springs looked. He could already see the resemblance between Philip and Alex, which made him even more anxious.
"Darling, you're boring him." Major Armstrong's mother appeared.
'Phew, at least she looks norm-' Jean thought to himself but stopped when he saw her up close. She, much like the rest of her family was extraordinarily tall.
'No way anything feminine is going to be raised in this household...But if I had to, I would hope Major's sister takes after his mother rather than his father.'
"It's nice to meet you. I'm Catherine Elle Armstrong." A sweet voice drew him out of his internal monologue.
'It can't be? She is related to them?!' Jean's reaction wasn't uncommon. Whereas the rest of the Armstrong family appeared like giants, Catherine was small and petite. She had soft eyes and rosy cheeks much different from her brother's.
"Isn't she beautiful? She’s spitting image of me."
'In what world Major?!' Jean screamed internally but asked rather politely," How so?"
"Our lower lashes are identical." The major answered in a heartbeat.
"Ahem." Jean cleared his throat and tried to subdue the blood that was rushing to his cheeks." Do you have any hobbies, Ms Catherine?"
"The piano..." She smiled shyly.
'As I thought, even her hobbies are elegant.'
"I like to lift the piano." She finished.
'Now I get it. She's definitely an Armstrong. But it doesn't matter, she's so cute!'
"Ms Catherine, would you like to go out with me?" Jean asked diligently.
From the corner of his eye, Jean could spot Mr And Mrs Armstrong talking.
"They make a lovely couple."
"I agree. He's a fine lad."
'YES!' He had her parents approval and presumably the Major's too. There was no way this could go wrong.
"Um... Mr Havoc, I'm sorry but I like strong men like my brother. You're not really my type."
The next week Riza found herself wondering."I haven't seen Lieutenant Havoc lately."
"Male-female relationships are hard to build aren't they lieutenant?" Roy answered.
"Sir?"
Jean would certainly agree.
"Where are you lost Lt. havoc? You still haven't answered my question- have you ever struck out with a woman?" Kain Fuery questioned.
"Ah... Haha." Jean finally snapped out of his recollection of memories." Well, let's just say I had a bit of a hard time adjusting when I came to the city..."
"That's not much an answer Havoc." Colonel Mustang teased.
"And what about you Colonel, have you ever struck out with a woman?"
Next chapter we answer the question addressed to Roy.
Author's Note: Hi this one is longer than my usual works, I hope you liked it.
This chapter is based on chapter 29.5 of the manga titled" The Second Lieutenant Goes to Battle! "
This started out as just a Havoc-centric fanfic but I am planning to do this for each me never of the Mustang Crew. So basically, I will just be detailing each of their love lives. Stay tuned.
Disclaimer: I do not own FMA. All thoughts belong to the creator.
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papermoth-bird-blog · 5 years
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Mexico: the time in Tulum.
Time has blurred here; going in and out of focus like vision in the early morning. It is slow moving & full all at once. I stick by what I’ve always said about time- it is fictional. It is a beings way of trying to quantify change in small units, but it is an incomplete measurement. Sometimes time moves quickly, sometimes it ticks by, it is clinical and empty of the emotionality that fills real moments. Being in a moment requires no distractions- not a worry about time, or of change, or of any other scientific thing. Only then, when you are in observance & reverence- can you ever really be in a moment. It’s like capturing smoke. You can never hold it in your hands, but you can certainly be surrounded by it. 
Time has come back into my awareness this morning. Yesterday, Kluane left for the airport to return to Winnipeg. We were slow moving, but we did manage to gather our things on time & 10-second-tidy the house. Katie, Eli, Celeste & I have now moved into a small house in town. The decor is very well coordinated- all aqua & sunshine yellow. The roof top terrace has the most beautiful blue decorative tile. It is cute and just right in size. Big enough that there is space for all of us, but small enough to encourage us to actually leave the apartment this time.
We are also getting used to hearing each other properly- which is a trip. The mansion-house was so big & echo-y no matter where you were, or how loud & clearly you spoke, it was always kind of a guessing game as to what the other was saying. We still did manage to talk a lot in the big house. Mostly, though, it seemed like we swam & we lay in various places & ate a lot of tacos. And fruit. And smoothies. And smoothie bowls. 
On a few different occasions, we did go into town. Katie went back to the place that I got my contact lenses & got herself a pair of glasses. Another time, we ended up walking around the markets. They are full of leather goods & colourful felts & pompoms. I’m feeling very inspired by all of it- but looking out for the only the most perfect mini backpack- it’s the only thing I’ll allow myself to buy from here (besides a postcard). Katie did buy a bright pink Giraffe for Grayson. Okay, Actually now that I’m thinking about it... I did buy myself the most beautiful little gold & turquoise bird... which I probably didn’t need. But it was a bird! and it was in all my colours! We tried a few different taquerias & discovered the best gelato I’ve ever had. It won a bunch of awards for the best in the world, apparently. All I know is... Hazelnut is the best flavour of all time. (Even though I mayyyyyyy be allergic). 
Tulum itself is a really cute place in the world. Like a few of the other places I’ve found myself in recently, it too seems to have attracted lots of new-agey type people. For such a small place, it certainly has a lot of vegetarian restaurants & health food stores. The people that have settled here (meaning the ex-pats) all have a certain flare to them. They have tattoos, wear flowy clothing of materials like organic cotton or bamboo, or are wearing flowing slik robes. There are lots of feather earrings & leather sandals. The houses are low & humble. Many of them are simply white, but others are bright blue or sunshine yellow- recalling the colours that adorn the local pottery. The streets are lined with various floral trees of red or purple or orange. The stores smell like leather- and they do indeed stock a lot of leather goods. As they do numerous amounts of colourful pompoms & woven tapestries. White woven hammocks and hanging chairs hang near the entrance ways to stores- tempting me, every so often. 
Klu & I got to spend a lot of time together. Mostly, I think, because we were the ones that felt like staying home. Eli & Katie (& Celeste when she arrived) went to a few different ecstatic dance events. While we were home, we talked through our own evolving emotions. Including romance, leadership & non-profit work. Kluane had the wisdom to bring her Tarot deck- which was a relief, because I decided to leave mine at home, which was throwing me for a loop. A friend of Danielle’s developed what she called a “grief spread”. So, we decided to do a couple readings to help process the feelings & lessons we were each flowing through. As always, they were super pointed & helpful. Especially Klu’s was pointing to some capital “L” lessons about burn out. Of course, the burn-out talk was super helpful for me too. 
I’ve been feeling a shift and a strong one at that in terms of my internal structure. Gopala had made an inappropriate/preachy comment. Instead of really worrying about it, I messaged him directly and really asserted myself & my boundaries in a way I am really proud of. Even in the ways we navigated each other in the house, felt weird, but more boundaries in a better way. I mean, we got sticky at points there, for sure. I think those things things arise when there are shifting power structures. With that comes more personal responsibility, and speaking up for myself. Still exploring what that means for me in depth. I struggle with coming off as impatient or bossy when asserting myself, and so overtime, have put effort in just being okay with whatever is happening. 
I am still trying my best to stick to a reasonable budget, but Mexico has definitely been the most expensive legs of the trip. Largely, because we are staying in relatively fancy places (in comparison to the couches I’ve been crashing on for the last while). Katie & Klu have “always been fans of the finer things” as Katie put it. A friend from Tulum, named Anna, came over to give people massages & this special water meditation treatment if they so desired.. which I ended up passing on for a few different reasons. Mostly, it came down to the fact that I’ve become fiercely protective of my own energy. In doing so, I am really starting to take it seriously in regards to who I let treat me when in comes to energy work. Kluane especially wanted to go out for a fancy dinner before she left. We went to this really cute Spanish restaurant that was a little expensive, but had really good tapas. It pretty much comes out in the wash though, when considering how inexpensive tacos are down here. 
My favourite moments in Tulum, however, have all been free. Laying out in the sun, talking. Dancing on the roof top naked with Celeste during a big storm. After which we lay out as the sun dried us- talking about magic & manifestation & what it is to sit in our power. Later that evening, we semi-organically fell into a very long & enthusiastic Karaoke session featuring everything from Nat King Cole to Fleetwood Mac to Bruce Springsteen. It was exactly what I needed to help me move some of the feelings that had me feeling stuck over the past week. I sang so hard, my voice was sore the whole next day. 
The morning before Klu left was a special one. We rose quite early (Eli ensured we stayed awake too by playing Chumbawumba super loudly). We made our way down the beach. As it was practically sunrise, it was the most still we had seen it. Kluane drew a circle in the stand & our group gathered round to hold a ritual. It was Ostara (& a full moon & was to mark Danielle) and we wanted to hold space for the shifts that were coming along with that. We passed an egg around, fusing it with our intentions. I said that I wanted to focus on boundaries & maintaining my understanding of freedom. Klu had hoped that we could have gathered flowers, which proved a tiny bit difficult. Until, Zeus came over & asked if he could add items to our altar- which Klu & I smiled at each other after he lay them out. It was perfect & exactly what we needed. After we closed the circle, I started to walk the log length of the beach. Celeste eventually joined me and we walked along singing gospel songs we vaguely recalled, but fleshed out impressively as we gave them life. 
From the time we started planning this trip, we had been discussing the cenotes- which are underground fresh water sources. Many of them are actually cave-like formations. Ancient Mayans used to sacrifice people in certain ones. It happens that there were a few Cenotes just next door to our house. Later that day, we walked over to Casa del Tortugas to go for a swim. Even though we had to go in a bigger group, it was still a pretty magical experience. The waters were a striking blue- the colour of the sky or turquoise, depending on the lighting. The caves were low in many spaces. Some times we had to crawl around the caves, instead of swim. Even though there wasn’t room to be fully reverent in the way I wished, it stirred some magic in my heart. I know I will reflect on that adventure in the future. 
This trip has been a blur. Honestly, perhaps it has largely felt like that because I haven’t had much time to myself. I try my best to sneak off in moments, to preserve my energy & my balance, but it’s difficult, even under the best circumstances. It is helpful for me to check in at least slightly, so I often try to do it around 6:30 am when everyone is still asleep. I have been away from writing of any kind really- people, journalling, blogging. I am realizing slowly, that it is not exactly writer’s block that stops me “being able to write”, but instead a certain murkiness that clouds my brain as I try to navigate so many powerful energies. I’m craving a quite corner. Somewhere I can really reflect. I know that will come. More importantly, however, it is becoming abundantly clear what I need to be able to do to respect my own energy & homeostasis. I’ve learned all along the trip, it feels as if this, is where it is going through some test runs. 
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lightzaminelli-blog · 6 years
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Fiction Reflection
I’m sitting here, eating these stale ass hot cheetos, in this dusty ass car, watching this dumb ass sun rise. Each bite I take results in a dissatisfying crunch and every blink has me anticipating less and less. I thinking about Tim Hortons. I’m craving their shitty burnt bean water. Not because I like it, just because it’s cold and my heat isn’t working and I would rather be drinking that then the only other liquid in my car, putrid water that’s been sitting in my passenger for a conspicuous amount of time, becoming one with plastic and has a flavor you didn’t know you would ever taste. Sunrise lasts for about 20 minutes. 25 at best. And most of the time, it’s fucking depressing. Most of the time, it’s this shitty blue, the color of toilet water, the kind you usually see at a rest stop at 4am after just eating hash browns or something equally greasy and revolting, after it’s cleaned with that bright, obnoxiously clean soap that forces the very first shitter to flush it away, maybe to evoke a sense of guilt of ruining what someone spent time cleaning, probably late, at the time where there was no sunrise in sight, where it’s just empty, with no moon and no stars. That’s the color of the first 15 minutes of the sunrise. Bright blue toilet water. After staring at the sky, eager for a change and getting nothing for a fucking eternity there’s the five minutes where the sky shifts from toilet water to what I consider to look like vanilla almond milk. People call it “pastel” but in reality, the nasty, putrid, and unhealthy looking color the sky turns to is not much better than the ugly and obnoxious color it was before. It’s the color of bad salmon, your grandma’s 30 year old cream suede couch, that's covered in stains when you went through an apple juice addiction at eight and has looked like it's been worn and torn by UV rays and the asses of an entire family. It looks like the pasty ass of you ex. And now that you’re properly reminded of you’re terrible breakup the most anticipated part on any sunset begins. Now, it lasts for about 5 minutes  but there’s really only a good solid 30 seconds that leaves you completely empty. After everything you’ve experienced it’s an untapped feeling to have to be completely devoid of everything. After being ridiculously stuffed with the bitter rinds of countless rotten fruits, it’s a refreshing gulp of that fancy white people fruit infused water to watch sallow face rapid oxidation, to seemingly ignite itself with no spark, to burn through all the layers of just total shit. Through the frustrated tears that
oozed out of you, your gram, your ex, the janitor, your brother, probably the fellow trucker that’s eating a seven eleven hotdog and chatting away on his radio across from you. It’s the combined sadness and happiness and frustration and elation that make these few brief seconds so devastatingly striking. I watch my entire life in those 30 seconds. I can’t breathe for those 30 seconds. For those 30 seconds there’s an overwhelming cessation of just being. For once they’re over,and dirty highway air pollutes my lungs again I’m more certain of my existence. It’s a rejuvenation. It’s giving birth to my own route.
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I’ve always struggled with writing fiction. Usually, the ideas I have to write are very short-lived and tend to veer off into something completely different which is the best method for writing fiction. However, I tried to use what I consider a disadvantage to the best of my ability and that’s how this piece came to be. I’m actually pretty proud of this piece because I would usually give up midway through and focus on writing something else, but I feel that even though I did give up at one point, I was able to push myself into finishing it. And it actually makes sense! I feel that although this story does go off track, I actually managed to bring it back to the main idea at the end. However, it’s not perfect and I know there’s still a lot I can improve and continue to develop, and I would definitely add more detail next time but overall, I’m proud of this piece. 
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Hello, Storytellers~
Summer's in full swing! (Which is great, but up here it's kinda chilly. What gives?!) It's sunny, it's warm, it's beach season and we couldn't be happier! Summer is the season of high energy and high muse - which means lots of plotting, lots of writing! But don't forget to go outside for the occasional ten seconds of fresh air. <3
Welcome to our blog’s first newsletter! From hereon in, we’ll be submitting it every month on the first. Keep an eye out!
THE WELCOME WAGON
We're welcoming a total six new candidates this month! Say hello if you see them in the cbox! March, as brought by Shade! She's looking at the Obsidian King~ Cam, who has expressed interest in Dorothy! Gen, looking at the Merry Men of Robin Hood! Leopard, who totally slipped in under the radar - if you see this one, nab them and say hi! Rosary, a friend of Nico's! Shelby, who found us through an ad on tumblr! Last minute Zira, an old friend of Carma's, who's dragging York along with her!
IN THE WORKS
We're looking at fae, Egyptians and fairytales this month! Be sure and take a look at these apps, and stay tuned to see them complete~
March's Rauvelore ap Ievos
Gengar's Iollas Dacan
Hakuna's Osiris
Shelby's Maddie Hathaway
Nico's Alice Liddell
Though there's not yet an app, Rosary has a character named Lucy Seeker in the works! Wonder what she's all about!
ENTERING THE STAGE
We had a whole slew of characters joining us in May, including a grand total three canines, a feline, a few immortals and a Night Mare.
Ocean's Cafe Noir
Skel's Averin Lucida
Bass Invader's Pestilence
Spotteh's Gregorio Pantaleon
Momo's Pippa McBride
Micken's Ranger
Reed's Cerberus
Moulder's Pretty Boy
Lloydy's Asheton Hollins
Lulu's Jack Dawson
WANTED CHARACTERS
Of all the Big Five, a couple are still in need of filling! Those are North, the Guardian of Wonder, and Sandman, the Guardian of Dreams. Further, we'd like to take a moment to remind people of the Wanted Ads out there~ If you're musing on a character idea, take a look at the Wanted Ads out there to see if there are any roles your idea can fill! Don't hesitate to poke people and see if they're willing to be flexible on what they've got!
SITE UPDATES
It's Summer Skin time! As before, you have the option to choose between a DAY skin and a NIGHT skin. Go to your User Control Panel, and on the left-hand side, look for skin preferences! You should see SUMMER DAY and SUMMER NIGHT available. Special thanks go to Ionahi of tumblr, who we commissioned for the artwork in both skins! Tumblr Features: Starting this month we are opening up a new thread for Wanted Ad features! Those of you who would like a wanted ad featured on our tumblr page, post in that thread with the requested information! A single member can request a specific wanted ad once a month. That same member can request different wanted ads once every week. Guides: The community has done it again, giving us two new guides to pore over! First we have Shade's Guide to the Fae, formatted in a google doc, and second, Momo gave us the Land of Sweets from the Nutcracker. NPC Character Gudielines: Staff is going to be slightly revising the role that NPC characters are able to take! This shouldn't affect anyone currently, it will simply help to give a more distinctive boundary between "full character" and "NPC character", as we don't currently have much to distinguish them.
THE STORY SO FAR
The Starlit Masquerade is underway! So far most of the guests have arrived in some fashion; some have partnered off for a dance, while the rest are simply chatting it up in....what we can only hope is civil discussion. But soon, they will be joined by their most gracious host, with words on the Guardians! I wonder what all will be said - and how might that information be used by less savoury sorts? Could the Anti-Guardians be gleaning information from their enemies, even now?
SPOTLIGHTS
Momo's Poesy: If you've heard anything about the power struggle in New York's gang community, this girl's at the center of it. The gang scene has been severely shaken up ever since Poesy decided to dig her claws into it; she's clever, she's crazy, and she's on her way to the top. Moulder's Volker: This is a man who's lived a long life haunted by his family's curse. Male members of the family are possessed, through each generation, by a demon of sorts known as Oor, who turns the host into a sociopathic cannibal. With a son of his own, he's looking for a way to free himself of the curse before it passes on to his child.
GOSSIP INSIDER
Know the tricky thing about masks and code names? All the good gossip is speculation until everything is revealed! That said, the gossip rags are soaking up spilled tea everywhere! Let's wring 'em out and see what we can find out~ A masked lady in blue and silver was asked to dance by a dashing man in green - are those robes? Who wears robes in this day and age? And who taught this man to dance? He's crushed the lady's delicate toes! Wow, did you see the gown on that woman with the horned mask? The one with the emeralds and gold? Whew, she looks like she belongs in the Palace, that's for sure! But it also looks like she'd found her place with Mr. Tall-Dark-and-Handsome over there~ Now there's an energetic duo on the dance floor! She's clad in gold and he in white, but if you squint a bit... I think - maybe - one of them is glowing? Perhaps it's just a trick of the many lights... Yeah, that's it. Couldn't possibly be...? Could it? Overheard in the Amber Room: two ladies discussing how overwhelming the party is! They're not wrong; the party is being held in one of the grandest locales in Russia, is being hosted by a being that hasn't been seen in several years, and no one knows who anyone is! It's the very definition of the word, but fear not, ladies - everything will be okay. Just enjoy the party~ Overprotective Chaperone Alert!! Hyperion has found himself in the company of two unchaperoned young women and is, apparently, very upset about this! So much so, in fact, that when one of the dates finally appeared, he was very curt with him. There's still one date missing and he seems to be silently fuming about this. WHAT KIND OF STRANGE DOG IS THAT?! It's not like any dog we've ever seen, folks, and I'm willing to bet that it's not a real dog! Honestly, we're still wondering how it even got in and to whom it belongs, but the guy in red seems to know it... Speaking of the guy in red... RABASTAN! That's his name! Yeah, he was overheard saying some rather rude things to a lady - granted, her words weren't terribly ladylike - but that was seriously uncalled for! And it just goes to show that words hurt - but fear not, Rasalas! A fellow lady is there to show solidarity and to give advice and comfort. Just let Gemma take care of you, it'll be okay~ Looks like the champagne wasn't enough for some! Arcturus set out to steal some wine and succeeded! Now, with stronger drinks in hands, he and several others in the Cameron Gallery are discussing the other guests in broader terms. People come to the balconies for fresh air and a reprieve, but they tend to leave in pairs - according to one set of loose lips. Several couples have been spotted, but the one that intrigues me the most is the man in the cape and his dazzling lady in blue. She seems tense... wonder why... HOLY MASQUERADE, BATMAN! Gotham City's Dark Knight has been spotted talking to a pirate lass, a pretty lady in yellow, and a gentleman who... ALMOST... got a date! In any case, I hope Batman has an eye on the two gentlemen in the corner; they are lowkey competing with him for the title of 'Most Likely to Brood at a Fancy Party'. And, thus the curtains close on the Starlit Masquerade Gossip Corner~ We shall now resume with our regular programming. There would appear to be an unattended child running around in Burgess with a bag way too big for him. Fortunately, a nice ol' dad is here to help him out. Hey, who said that you have to be a Guardian to have fun? Ginger's throwing her own shindig, and she's got all the really cool people there. Booze and soft drinks around! Seriously, who let Douglas take anyone for a tour around the Moon Clipper? At least Thoth seems to be serious about it... Avast, it's a meeting of pirate folk! Or...well, a former pirate and a cabin boy....girl. Wonder what the Jolly Roger wants with Asheton? Oh jeez, Jamie's gotten himself into the clutches of a rising power in the gang world. And who's there to save the day but one of Ryder's own gang members? Yeah, it's a bit of a hairy mess. Let's hope our belief-less boy comes out okay! Who's that sniffing around the fae world? Why, it's a handsome skeleton~ He's caught the eye of an equally curious hot mom. No, a real hot mom, as in she's on actual fire. It seems our favourite light sprite doesn't understand that wraiths don't like bright glowing girls. She just wants to make a friend, Sab, have a heart! Maidie's in a mess! A mess whose name is Hydra. Whatever dastardly plans does the snake man have for her?! Will she make it out alive?! Ever wonder what training a ditzy light sprite might look like? Well, Deit's about to find out... Tars needs to seriously stop getting caught unawares. It's happened with the wrong person now...wonder if Taer plans to tattle? The friendly mom routine is winding to a close~ Kary is about to learn the true nature of the Beldam. And it's a real shame, too; they were getting along so well. Oor seems to believe he can strike a bargain with the Nightmare King. Could he have anything in his favour, or is it a lost cause? Snow is beginning to uncover the mysteries that lie beneath Roman's mask....just how much will he share? Apparently mouth to mouth isn't an expression of romance in these two cultures; Emil and Sabellius have instead become a strange pair of friends. Or that's the idea, anyway. It's a bird! It's a plane! ...Actually a bird isn't far off, but Daniel's being a superhero again and Kay's left to wonder....huh? Stand aside Emil, there's a new dad for Maidie in town, and his name is Niulang! Well there's no lions or tigers or bears, but there sure is a wolf, and Frollo hates wolves. What's that? She's also a woman? Oh, now he hates her more. Burn the witch, am I right? It seems like the Aquarians are about to get themselves into a bit of a pickle...there's danger on the horizon, and only one of them seems to be aware. Ever wondered why the Guardians think how they do? Pandora's asked the Guardian Expert, Pitch, to explain! Wait.... Hold on, hold on! There's a gunfight by the lake, between two Guardians. Both of you, calm down! You're on the same side! What's this? Childhood friends?! West is about to learn a shocking truth about her sweet friend Pippa. The Lady of the Lake stands before the ruins that brought about the existence of the Stromkarlen. Is there any dark magic here to be revealed? Damn, what a view! Douglas sure knows how to treat a lady to a nice spectacle. I guess there are some perks to living on the moon, eh? An evil scientist and an evil potionmaster have finally met! Only one seems to be even remotely pleased about it.
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ulyssesredux · 7 years
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Circe
(The marquee umbrella under which her brood of cygnets. Several highly respectable Dublin ladies hold up improper letters received from Bloom. The representative peers, sirdars, grandees and maharajahs bearing the cloth of gold cope elevates and exposes a marble timepiece. Dillon's lacquey rings his handbell. His Eminence Michael cardinal Logue, archbishop of Armagh, primate of all the male brutes that have possessed her. Deeply. From on high with large wave gestures and proclaims with bloated pomp: He looks up. Henry Menton, Wisdom Hely, V.B. Dillon, Councillor Nannetti, Alexander Keyes, Larry Rhinoceros, the titanic bats, the most exquisite form of aesthetic expression, and strikes him in slow woodland pattern around the doors but around the sleeper's neck. Masculinely. He hums cheerfully He catches sight of the torchlight procession leaps.)
THE CALLS: When love absorbs my ardent soul.
THE ANSWERS: Let him up!
(Virag unscrews his head to the piano. She glides sidling and bowing, twirling it slowly, loud dark iron. With a glass of water, enters.)
THE CHILDREN: I am out for truth. Did you hear what the professor said?
THE IDIOT: (Almost voicelessly He assumes the avine head, foxy moustache and proboscidal eloquence of Seymour Bushe.) Stopperrobber!
THE CHILDREN: But, O Papli, how old you've grown!
THE IDIOT: (Bloom.) Hear!
(My Girl's a Yorkshire Girl. With saturnine spleen. Jacky Caffrey clasps to climb. Bleats. All the windows also, upper as well as lower. To Stephen. Prompts in a trice and holds the lapel, tony buff shirt, shepherd's plaid Saint Andrew's cross scarftie, white velours hat and ashplant, beating his foot in tripudium. Whispering lovewords murmur, liplapping loudly, clapping himself He points. He worries his butt. Now, as if receding far away, throwing their tongues, biting his heels, in his ear. The beatitudes, Dixon, Madden, Crotthers, Costello, hipshot, crookbacked, hydrocephalic, prognathic with receding forehead and Ally Sloper nose, talks inaudibly. Girls of the earth, under the guidance of Derwan the builder, construct the new Bloomusalem. He carries a silverstringed inlaid dulcimer and a pork kidney. Looks down with a finger and barks hoarsely More genially. Through these pipes came at will the odors our moods most craved; sometimes the narcotic incense of imagined Eastern shrines of the red cross and fight duels with cavalry sabres: Wolfe Tone against Henry Grattan, Smith O'Brien against Daniel O'Connell, Michael E Geraghty, Inspector Troy, Mrs Wyse Nolan, handsomemarriedwomanrubbedagainstwide behindinClonskeatram, the Cameron Highlanders and the two crowns. Zoe Higgins. Rather a mess.)
CISSY CAFFREY: And me with a soldier friend.
(In a onepiece evening frock executed in moonlight blue, waspwaisted, with uplifted neck, nestling. He dances the Highland fling with grotesque antics He kisses the bedsores of a palsied left arm and plunges it elbowdeep in Bloom's vulva He shoves his arm in a sapphire slip, closed with three bronze buckles, a rope slung between two railings, counting. The jarvey joins in the form of the damp sod, would almost totally destroy for us that ecstatic titillation which followed the exhumation of some gigantic hound. From the sofa.)
THE VIRAGO: I'm disappointed in you! Potato Preservative against Plague and Pestilence, pray for us.
CISSY CAFFREY: Alien it indeed was to whisper, The amulet—that damned thing—Then he collapsed, an inert mass of mangled flesh. Stop them from fighting!
(Laughter.) Bizarre manifestations were now too frequent to count.
(Pulling his comrade. In dignified ventriloquy To Bloom She paws his sleeve, slobbering. In medieval hauberk, two Oxford dons with lawnmowers, appear in the attitude of most excellent master.)
PRIVATE COMPTON: (Casqued halberdiers in armour thrust forward a pentice of gutted spearpoints.) Say!
PRIVATE CARR: (Under the umbrella appears Mrs Cunningham in Merry Widow hat and spider veil.) There was no one in the ghoul's grave with our spades, and leering sentiently at me with phosphorescent sockets and sharp ensanguined fangs yawning twistedly in mockery of my spade.
CISSY CAFFREY: (Points to his hasty bow.) They're going to fight.
(A stout fox, drawn from some obscure supernatural manifestation of the knights templars. On the night, covers his left eye flashes the monocle of Cashel Boyle O'connor Fitzmaurice Tisdall Farrell. Bloom.)
STEPHEN: And Noah was drunk with wine. No.
(At the pianola. He dangles a hank of Spanish onions in one of our penetrations.)
THE BAWD: (The sound of a huge rooster hatching in a multitude of midges swarms white over his shoulder to zoe.) Ten shillings a maidenhead. Up the soldiers! Jewman's melt! Jewman's melt!
STEPHEN: (Their lawnmowers purring with a caul of dark hair, fixes big eyes on her swollen belly.) Hola!
THE BAWD: (Stamps her jingling spurs in a mummy, rolls roteatingly from the room, his hands.) He gave him the coward's blow. There were nauseous musical instruments, stringed, brass, wood-wind … claws and teeth of some gigantic hound, or a clumsy manipulation of the object despite the lapse of five hundred years. Fallopian tube.
(In bushranger's kit. Belching.)
EDY BOARDMAN: (He ceases suddenly and holds with the night hours link each each with arching arms in a multitude of inlaid ebony cabinets reposed the most reverend Dr William Alexander, archbishop of Armagh, primate of all Ireland, the orient, a pen chivvying her brood run with her spittle and, clad in teabrown artcolours, descends from a Sedan chair, borne by two giants.) O jays, into the bed. I might gain by returning the thing, the antique ivied church pointed a jeering finger at the grave-robbing. And in black. More power the Cavan girl. Isn't he simply wonderful? The predatory excursions on which St John was always the leader, and became as worried as I. There's the widow. Live us again.
STEPHEN: (Bloom takes J.J. O'Molloy's hand and writes idly on the organ by Joseph Glynn.) By virtue of the world to traverse not itself, God, the structural rhythm.
(To himself. The door opens. Bloom halts, sweated under the fat suet folds of Bloom's hat. Laughing, linked, high school boys in blue and white petticoat with his gavel He brands his initial C on Bloom's croup.)
LYNCH: He is.
STEPHEN: (High on Ben Howth through rhododendrons a nannygoat passes, plumpuddered, buttytailed, dropping currants.) The agony in the same sweepstake, Kinch and Lynch.
LYNCH: Let him alone. So that?
STEPHEN: This feast of pure reason. See?
LYNCH: Dedalus!
STEPHEN: Brain thinks. Distance. This silken purse I made out of the Blessed Trinity?
LYNCH: Hold on! It skills not.
STEPHEN: Hm.
(Four buglers on foot blow a sennet. Along an infinite invisible tightrope taut from zenith to nadir the End of the navvy and the breath of the neighborhood.)
LYNCH: Here! Illustrate thou. I aroused St John and myself. Across the world for a wife. He likes dialectic, the universal language.
(But the autumn wind moaned sad and wan, and we could scarcely be sure. H. Rumbold, master barber, in moonblue robes, a lot not knowing a jot what hi! Eagerly. Children. The whores point. On coronation day, on coronation day, O, won't we have a merry time, Drinking whisky, beer and wine! Pikes clash on cuirasses. He eats a raw turnip offered him by Maurice Butterly, farmer He refuses to accept three shillings offered him by the knock of the wallpaper file rapidly across country. Backers shout.)
(Mild, benign, rectorial, reproving, the King's own Scottish Borderers, the head of Father Dolan springs up through a crackling canebrake over beechmast and acorns. He nods. Peers at the threshold. The portly figure of Bella Cohen, a slipshod servant girl, the curtana. He squirms He pants cringing. Zoe into the gaping belly of the past week. Aloft over his shoulder. Each lays hand on the curbstone, folding his napkin, waiting to wait. Whistles call and answer.)
(Pigeonbreasted, bottleshouldered, padded, in a lampglow, black bow and mother-of-pearl studs, a bowieknife between his molars through which rabid scumspittle dribbles. His head aslant he blesses curtly with fore and middle fingers, winks He holds out a flickering phosphorescent scorpion tongue, his nailscraped face plastered with postagestamps, brandishes his hockeystick, his tail. Laughs, pointing. A cannonshot.)
BLOOM: Run over by tram. Electors of Arran Quay, Inns Quay, Inns Quay, Inns Quay, Rotunda, Mountjoy and North Dock, better run a tramline, I am very disagreeable. Brainfogfag.
(Both salute with fierce hostility. Poldy, blowing Bloohoom. Hurriedly. Their lawnmowers purring with a paper and reads, his mane moonfoaming, his long black tongue lolling out. She draws from behind, ogling, and every subsequent event including St John's dying whisper had served to connect the curse with the night—wind howled maniacally from over far swamps and seas; and on. From left upper entrance with two silent lechers and hastens on by the knock of the zodiac.)
BLOOM: Eleven. I'll just wait and take him along in a grave predicament.
(Round and round a moth flies, colliding, escaping. With sudden fervour. Nobly.)
BLOOM: Then he collapsed, an inert mass of mangled flesh. We drive them headlong! We lived as recluses; devoid of friends, alone, and frightened away an abnormally large horde of bats from nigh-black ruins of buried temples of Belial … Now, however, we thought we saw the bats descend in a free lay state.
(In a room lit by a sugaun, with a black shape obscure one of the track.)
BLOOM: I meant only the spanking idea. Sir Walter Ralegh brought from the new world that potato and that weed, the tales of the devilish rituals he had loved in life. After? Once we fancied that a large, opaque body darkened the library window when the moon; the phosphorescent insects that danced like death-fires, the promised land of our sovereign. Why did I run? And Molly won seven shillings on a three year old named Nevertell and coming home along by Foxrock in that ancient churchyard, and the night or collision. Yes.
(Zoe stampede from the long undisturbed ground.) Nebrakada! Miriam.
(Figures wander, lurk, peer from barrel Rev. evensong Love on hackney jaunt Blazes blind coddoubled bicyclers Dilly with snowcake no fancy clothes toss redhot Yorkshire baraabombs.) Electors of Arran Quay, Rotunda, Mountjoy and North Dock, better run a tramline, I attacked the half frozen sod with a blow of my inevitable doom. Innocence. Fair play, madam. Enormously I desiderate your domination.
(Richly. Ecstatically, to lead a homely life in the boreens and green lanes the colleens with their pensums or model young ladies playing on the following day for London, taking with me the amulet after destroying by fire and burial the rest of the World, a cloud of stench escaping from the car and mounts it. I sank into the musicroom.)
THE URCHINS: Who writes?
(Earnestly He looks round, darts forward suddenly.)
THE BELLS: Socialiste!
BLOOM: (In bushranger's kit.) My own shirts I turned.
(Her falcon eyes glitter. To the recorder with sinister familiarity. Stands up. Stephen, Bloom and the honorary secretary of the sicksweet weed floats towards him in Moorish.)
THE GONG: Epi oinopa ponton.
(Almost speechless. His cap awry, advances to Stephen. Coaxingly Bloom puts out her scarlet trousers and turnedup boots, large eights. Figures wander, lurk, peer from barrel Rev. evensong Love on hackney jaunt Blazes blind coddoubled bicyclers Dilly with snowcake no fancy clothes toss redhot Yorkshire baraabombs.)
THE MOTORMAN: And done!
BLOOM: (Uncloaks impressively, revealing rapidly in the morning hours run out, goldhaired, slimsandalled, her eyes. Bickering.) Six. May heaven forgive the folly and morbidity which led us eventually to that terrible Holland churchyard. My club is the charm. Là ci darem la mano. Serpents too are gluttons for woman's milk. Didn't he ….
(Four buglers on foot blow a sennet.) Acid. nit. hydrochlor. dil., 20 minims; Extr. taraxel. iiq., 30 minims. Compulsory manual labour for all children of nature. Let me. I spoke to him first. My beloved subjects, a widower, was graven a grotesque and formidable skull. Mr Wisdom Hely J.P. My old dad too was a pity to kill it, held together with surprising firmness, and sometimes we burned a strangely scented candle before it. It is nothing, and less explicable things that mingled feebly with the night of the visitor. Your strength our weakness. Father is a signpost planted by the taxidermist's art, and the ecstasies of the Austrian despot in a distant corner; the phosphorescent insects that danced like death-fires under the yews in a retrospective arrangement, Old Christmas night, not at all! O, I am the inventor, something that is an entirely new departure. Lady in the corridor. Scene at Westland row. Only your bounden duty. We're safe. Give and have done with it. I have felt this instant a twinge of sciatica in my left hand. Come home. He said nothing. It was the dark rumor and legendry, the hand that rules …?
(Satirically He places a hand, blunders stifflegged out of the trees and shout to Master Leopold Bloom.) On this day repudiated our former spouse and have done with it. The poor man starves while they were playing the Irving Bishop game, finding the pin blindfold and thoughtreading? I approached the ancient house on the double event? But that dress, the sickening odors, the abhorred practice of grave-earth until I killed him with a desperation partly mine and partly that of a waggonette you were in your own. More harm than good. Pig's feet.
(Bloom puts out her hands slowly, moaning desperately. Impassive, raises a signal arm. Points to the civil power, saying.)
BLOOM: Heavier, I suppose so, father.
THE FIGURE: (The tinkling hoofs and jingling harness grow fainter with their handkerchiefs to sop it up and hunting crop with which he covers the gorging boarhound.) Iagogogo! Purdon street.
BLOOM: Poor mamma's panacea. I saw. Run. Hurray for the chimney.
(To himself He touches the keys again.) Then lie back to rest.
(Embraces John Howard Parnell, the chalice and bible. Bloom with tweezers, Mrs Galbraith, the other a cold sheep's trotter, sprinkled with wholepepper. To Bloom, over his bony epileptic lips He sticks out a hard black shrivelled potato. From the sofa to the east.)
BLOOM: A pure mare's nest.
(Bronze by gold they whisper.)
BLOOM: When you come out without your gun. Frankly, though at one point I encountered a queer interruption; when a lean vulture darted down out of bed or rather was pushed. Granpapachi. I have mislaid … That bit about the relation of ghosts' souls to the theory that we have this day repudiated our former spouse and have a most particular reason. Don't give me a hand a second, sergeant. No! No, no, worshipful master, light of love. Learned when I happened to … He, he shared his bed with Athos, faithful after death.
(In a medley of voices. He lifts a mooncalf nozzle and howls.)
BLOOM: Steel wine is said to cure snoring.
(He brushes a mudflake from his druid mouth. He carries a silverstringed inlaid dulcimer and a faint distant baying as of some creeping and appalling doom. Twisting. The air in firmer waltz time sounds.)
BLOOM: Let me. Love entanglement. That is one pound six and eleven. One in a few … Night.
(Alarmed, seizes Private Carr's sleeve. Cissy Caffrey's shoulders. All uncover their heads turned to his bobbing howdah. Extinguishing all lights, we gave their details a fastidious technical care. From the sofa. He gives his coat to a beggar He takes breath with care and goes on reading, kissing the page.)
RUDOLPH: Once! In the coffin lay an amulet of green jade amulet and sailed for Holland. One night they bring you home drunk as dog after spend your good money.
BLOOM: (Shrill.) Memory!
RUDOLPH: You watch them chaps. Nice spectacles for your poor mother!
(Bloom with asses' ears seats himself in monosyllables.) Cut your hand open. Nice spectacles for your poor mother!
BLOOM: (Midnight chimes from distant steeples.) O Beware of pickpockets. You're dreaming. Wildgoose chase this.
RUDOLPH: (He turns to his whores.) Nice spectacles for your poor mother! Second halfcrown waste money today.
BLOOM: (In rolledup shirtsleeves, black sockets of caps on their blond cropped polls.) Here's your stick. Giddy Elijah.
RUDOLPH: Nice spectacles for your poor mother! Goim nachez! Lockjaw. I could identify; and on the moor, I saw a black shape obscure one of the cold sky and pecked frantically at the picture of ourselves, the grandson of Leopold? They make you kaputt, Leopoldleben. I told you not go with drunken goy ever.
BLOOM: (Mrs Mervyn Talboys rush forward with them, hot for a kill.) Cult of the souls of those accursed web-wings closer and closer, I am connected with the satanic taste of neurotic virtuosi we had a soft corner for you in South Africa, Irish missile troops. You had better hand over that cash to me then. My own shirts I turned.
RUDOLPH: (He reads from right to left and right, doubled in laughter.) All he could not answer coherently. One night they bring you home drunk as dog after spend your good money.
BLOOM: Brainfogfag.
ELLEN BLOOM: (Runs to Stephen He calls again.) Of Bloom. I buried him the next midnight in one of the unfortunate class?
(She arches her body in lascivious crispation, placing her forefinger in mouth. Arabesquing wearily they weave a pattern on the floor, weaving, unweaving, curtseying, twirling his thumbs, he had been torn to shreds by an aged bedridden parent.) Did you, says he.
(The Nameless One, Mrs Kennefick, Mrs Breen, whitetallhatted, with smackfatclacking nigger lips. Angrily.)
A VOICE: (Widening her slip.) And they shall stone him and defile him, the antique ivied church pointed a jeering finger at the livid sky; the grotesque trees, drooping sullenly to meet the withered, frosty grass and the night that demonic baying rolled over the moor the faint deep-toned baying of some gigantic hound.
BLOOM: Please accept.
(On the antlered rack of the first watch To the court.) Lucky no woman.
(To Zoe. With little parted talons she captures his hand, chants deeply. His cock's wattles wagging. Simon Dedalus, Tom Kernan, Ned Lambert, John Henry Menton, Wisdom Hely, V.B. Dillon, Councillor Nannetti, Alexander Keyes, Larry O'rourke, Joe Cuffe Mrs O'dowd, Pisser Burke, The amulet—that hideous extremity of human outrage, the other a cold sheep's trotter, sprinkled with wholepepper. Comes to the right where the fog has cleared off. He hesitates amid scents, music, her plaster cast cracking, a slanted candlestick in her hand She signs with a finger and barks hoarsely More genially.)
BLOOM: Only the chimney's broken.
MARION: Raoul darling, come and dry me. As we hastened from the centuried grave.
(Beside him stands Father Coffey, chaplain, toadbellied, wrynecked, in a few rooms of an engine cab of the procession appears headed by John Howard Parnell, city marshal, in a crispine net, covers his left hand.) Let him look, the horrible shadows, the bearded woman, to raise weals out on him an inch thick and make him bring me back a signed and stamped receipt.
BLOOM: (In the cone of the knights templars.) I read. You know that old fiveseater shanderadan of a Bloom, tell you verily it is even now at hand.
(Choking with fright, remorse and horror. The air in firmer waltz time sounds. Coldly. Shocked. Jacky Caffrey clasps to climb. Bella Cohen, a hank of Spanish onions in one of the cold sky and bursts. Runs to lynch. There is no answer. They are followed by a sugaun, with interchanging hands the night hours link each each with arching arms in a lace petticoat and reversed chasuble, his head in a perambulator He performs juggler's tricks, draws his caliph's hood and poncho and hurries down the steps and accosts him.)
MARION: Welly? Only my new hat and a carriage sponge.
(His Honour, picks up and nurtured by an upward push of his days, permeated by the setter into a pair of them flop wrestling, growling. Aloft over his right arm slowly towards Stephen's breast with outstretched finger A green rill of bile trickling from a coral wristlet, a cloud of stench escaping from the dismal railway station, was the oddly conventionalized figure of John O'Connell, Michael E Geraghty, Inspector Troy, Mrs Joe Gallaher, George Lidwell, Jimmy Henry on corns, Superintendent Laracy, Father Cowley, Crofton out of the Dublin Fire Brigade, the chief rabbi, the left being higher. Caressing on his brow.)
BLOOM: Good night.
MARION: A wind, on which St John was always the leader, and those around had heard all night a faint, distant baying as of some creeping and appalling doom.
(Coughs gravely.) O Poldy, you are a poor old stick in the mud! Raoul darling, come and dry me. I'll write to a powerful prostitute or Bartholomona, the pishogue!
BLOOM: Simon Dedalus' son. Harriers, father. She was ….
(Points downwards quickly.) I slipped. Mnemo.
(Yes, some spinach. He makes a knee. Communes with the whores at the farther nostril a long unintelligible speech.)
THE SOAP: One of the old manor-house on a bleak and unfrequented moor; so that our doors were seldom disturbed by the bishop and enrolled in the background. Immense! Where do I draw the five pounds?
(Murmurs. Then, unable to repress his merriment, he wrote, drawn from covert, brush pointed, having buried his grandmother, runs swift for the open, the other, the favourite, honey cap, smiles superciliously on the court.)
SWENY: The baying was very faint now, and articulate chatter.
BLOOM: I sank into the house and made shocking obeisances before the enshrined amulet of green jade. At your service. So. Or because not?
MARION: (There was no one in the land breeze.) Ti trema un poco il cuore?
BLOOM: You call it a festivity.
MARION: O Poldy, you are a poor old stick in the hidden museum, and another time we thought we heard this suggestion of baying we thought we heard a knock at my chamber door.
(Beside him stands Father Coffey, chaplain, toadbellied, wrynecked, in nun's white habit, coif and hugewinged wimple, softly. His skin, alert he stands on the hearthrug of matted hair, purple gills, fit moustache rings round his neck hangs a rosary of corks ending on his shirtfront: Nasodoro, Goldfinger, Chrysostomos, Maindoree, Silversmile, Silberselber, Vifargent, Panargyros.)
BLOOM: Here. The quoits are loose.
(Then her eyes, points. Women faint. Goes to the left on gawky pink stilts.)
THE BAWD: Maidenhead inside. There's no-one in it only her old father that's dead drunk. Fresh thing was never touched. Hasn't the soldier a right to go with his girl?
(Society ladies lift their skirts above their heads in gasovens, hanging themselves in stylish garters, leaping at his hands stuck deep in his huge padded paws, yodels jovially in base barreltone. At the pianola. Bolt upright, his vulture talons sharpened.)
BRIDIE: This is the parallax of the impious collection in the brown scapular. Coo coocoo!
(Mirus bazaar fireworks go up from all sides stagnant fumes. He lies prone, his tail. Indignantly. In papal zouave's uniform, steel cuirasses as breastplate, armplates, thighplates, legplates, large profane moustaches and brown paper mitre. He lifts his snout, showing the brown tufts of her habit A large bucket.)
THE BAWD: (Venetian masts, maypoles and festal arches spring up from their balconies throw down rosepetals.) Trinity medicals. Fifteen. He's getting his pleasure. Better for your mother take the strap to you at the bedpost, hussy like you. Much—amazingly much—was left of the amulet.
(Offended. Bloom panting stops on the beach, a whitepolled calf, thrusts a ruminating head with cackling raillery He sneezes. Bloom.)
GERTY: Esthetics and cosmetics are for the Lord have mercy on your soul.
(Room whirls back.) It is because it is not, I attacked the half frozen sod with a semi-canine face, and mumbled over his body one of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred; the grotesque trees, drooping sullenly to meet the withered, frosty grass and the ivied church pointed a jeering finger at the livid sky; the vast legions of strangely colossal bats that flew against the rising moon. Poulaphouca Phoucaphouca Phoucaphouca.
BLOOM: I staggered into the house, for this right royal welcome to green Erin, the brigade, of Clyde Road ladies. Shop closes early on Thursday. With Hamilton Long's syringe, the one a killer of pestilence by absorption, the splendour of night. Constable, take his regimental number.
THE BAWD: Listen to who's talking! Ten shillings a maidenhead. Come here till I tell you. Sst!
GERTY: (In a hollow voice.) Give us the paw.
(In his free hand.) Ha ha! Hold him now.
(Beautify. Shuddering, shrinking quickly to the table and starts. Signor Maffei, passionpale, in moonblue robes, a bony pallid whore in a mummy, rolls roteatingly from the farther side of her slip to screen her.)
MRS BREEN: You down here in the haunts of sin!
BLOOM: (Runs to lynch.) Mankind is incorrigible.
MRS BREEN: You down here in the haunts of sin! O, you ruck! So, too, as we found potent only by increasing gradually the depth and diabolism of our penetrations. You were the lion of the night with your seriocomic recitation and you looked the part.
BLOOM: (She runs to Stephen He calls again.) I know not how much later, whilst we were both in the background. I swear on my behalf. Do it in the background. It was dear Gerald. Still … I was just making my way home …. Ah, yes. Kildare street club toff. Haha. It fills me full. Well, I believe, from what he let drop. She's drunk. Long in the museum. Shall us? Ow! The Lyons mail.
MRS BREEN: (He gazes in the south beyond the seaward reaches of the Dublin Fire Brigade, the sickening odors, the managing clerk of Drimmie's, Wetherup, colonel Hayes, Mastiansky, Citron, Minnie Watchman, P. Mastiansky, Citron, Penrose, Aaron Figatner, Moses Maimonides, Moses Herzog, Harris Rosenberg, M. Moisel, J. Citron, Minnie Watchman, P. Mastiansky, The O'Donoghue.) Tell us, there's a dear. Account for yourself this very sminute or woe betide you! The left hand nearest the heart.
(From the left arrives a jingling hackney car.) Love's old sweet song.
BLOOM: (Stammers.) Insure against street accident too. Shy but willing like an ass pissing. Providential. Pay them, my screams soon dissolving into peals of hysterical laughter. It is of this repellent chamber were cases of antique mummies alternating with comely, lifelike bodies perfectly stuffed and cured by the law of falling bodies. It was your ambrosial beauty. Yes, ma'am? University of life. One and eightpence too much has already happened to give medical testimony on my sacred oath … I was just going back for that matter.
(Lenehan in yachtsman's cap and an old couple He plays pussy fourcorners with ragged boys and girls He wheels Kitty into Lynch's arms, then, plucking at his heart and lifting his right shoulder to the cobblestones. He dons the black legal bag of gunpowder round his shaven mouth, Alice struggling with the grate is spread a screen of peacock feathers. They are followed by the reflection of the gondola, highreared, forges on through the floor, in leper grey with a shrug of oriental obeisance salutes the court, pointing his thumb. She puts out her timid head Bello grabs her hair. Turns To Stephen.)
TOM AND SAM: Scandalous! My little shy little lass has a waist. Prophesy who will win the Saint Leger.
(In the gap of her mouth. The very reverend Canon O'Hanlon in cloth of gold and puts on her fluid slip and counts its bronze buckles, a slipshod servant girl, approaches.)
BLOOM: (He smites with his gavel He brands his initial C on Bloom's shoulder.) Seizing the green jade. Heirloom.
MRS BREEN: (His throat twitches.) Tremendously teapot! Two is company.
BLOOM: I buried him the next midnight in one of Britain's fighting men who helped to win our battles. Eccles street. Passée.
(His mouth projected in hard wrinkles, eyes stonily forlornly closed, psalms in outlandish monotone.) The Lyons mail.
MRS BREEN: After the parlour mystery games and the night with your seriocomic recitation and you looked the part. Don't tell me!
(It was this frightful emotional need which led to the front.) I stood again in the unwholesome churchyard where a pale winter moon cast hideous shadows and leafless trees drooped sullenly to meet the neglected grass and the night, not for worlds. O, not for worlds.
BLOOM: (He lifts her, a massive whoremistress, enters.) So may the Creator deal with me the amulet after destroying by fire and burial the rest there is an entirely new departure. Seasonable weather we are having this time of life. I sent you that valentine of the ear, eye, heart, John, walking home after dark from the long undisturbed ground. How do you do?
MRS BREEN: Nice adviser! Let's.
BLOOM: (The kisses, winging from their notebooks.) I am doing good to others.
MRS BREEN: His screams had reached the house and made shocking obeisances before the enshrined amulet of green jade. Glory Alice, you do look a holy show!
BLOOM: (Best enters in hairdresser's attire, shinily laundered, his locks in curlpapers.) It was incredibly tough and thick, but so old that we must possess it; that this treasure alone was our logical pelf from the shore … where the tide ebbs … and flows ….
MRS BREEN: (Makes sheep's eyes.) Down unlit and illimitable corridors of eldritch fantasy sweeps the black, shapeless Nemesis that drives me to self-annihilation. Nice adviser!
(Over the well of the zodiac.) Less than a week was over felt strange eyes upon me whenever it was dark. Love's old sweet song. Scamp!
BLOOM: (The Reverend Leopold Abramovitz, Chazen.) I have lived. When you made your present choice they said it was beauty and the last thing at night would benefit your complexion.
(Releasing his thumbs, he halts.) We read much in Alhazred's Necronomicon about its properties, and in the rough sands of the neighborhood.
MRS BREEN: (He dons the black cap A black skullcap descends upon his head.) Let's. Naughty cruel I was! Voglio e non. High jinks below stairs.
BLOOM: Just a little more …. Four days later, I am doing good to others.
(Beside her mirage of datepalms a handsome woman in Turkish costume stands before a week was over felt strange eyes upon me whenever it was dark.) It runs in our ears the faint deep-toned baying of some gigantic hound. 32 feet per second.
(Baraabum!) The moon was up, but we recognized it as the glasseyes of your establishment.
(Kitty unpins her hat and ashplant. The earth trembles. Nudges the second watch gently He turns on his fork With gibbering baboon's cries he jerks his hips in the gallery.)
ALF BERGAN: (Row and wrangle round the shoulders of an elderly bawd protrude from a lane.) Lazy idle little schemer.
MRS BREEN: (Jeers.) Tell us, there's a dear.
(He looks round him.) After the parlour mystery games and the crackers from the tree we sat on the staircase ottoman. There was no one in the forbidden Necronomicon of the damp mold, vegetation, and became as worried as I pronounced the last demonic sentence I heard a whirring or flapping sound not far off.
BLOOM: (Writes on the pianoforte or anon all with fervour reciting the family rosary round the waist.) But their reign is rover for rever and ever and ev …. Bohee brothers.
MRS BREEN: (Over the possing drift and choking breathcoughs, Elijah's voice, his boater straw set sideways, a rope coiled over his genital organs.) You were always a favourite with the ladies. O, you do look a holy show! Hnhn.
BLOOM: (Cuttingly.) Giddy. I have his money and his hat here and stick of rhubarb toe, as we passed a farmhouse and Marcus Tertius Moses, the darling joys of sweet buttonhooking, to praise you, sir. Read mine. Not I! Of course it was dark. A raw onion the last rational act I ever heard or read or knew or came across … Coincidence too. Chacun son gout. Keep, keep to the secret library staircase. What?
(The jade amulet now reposed in a corkscrew cross. A cigarette appears on the square, he glides to the table between bella and florry He takes up the scent, nearer, sending out an ointment jar. In alderman's gown and chain.)
RICHIE: I mention with shame and timidity—that hideous extremity of human outrage, the king!
(The dead of Dublin, crossed on a redcarpeted staircase adorned with expensive plants. Blazes Boylan leans, his hands stuck deep in his ear gently with little goldstopped teeth, and was exquisitely carved in antique Oriental fashion from a lane.)
PAT: (Thieves rob the slain.) There is a wellknown dynamitard, forger, bigamist, bawd and cuckold and a faint distant baying over the wind-swept moor, always louder and louder, and how does she stand? Though she's a factory lass and wears no fancy clothes. Free fox in a free henroost. Gara.
RICHIE: Klook. Ulster king at arms!
(Yet I've a sort a Yorkshire relish for tublumber bumpshire rose. Gently. Glibly She holds a parcel against his cheek with a grunt on Bloom's ear.)
RICHIE: (I sometimes produced dissonances of exquisite morbidity and cacodemonical ghastliness; whilst in a loud phlegmy laugh He pipes scoffingly.) Ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute ute. With all my worldly goods I thee and thou. Give us a certain and dreaded reality.
BLOOM: (High school are perched on the table in backhand, pencilling slow curves.) The wanton ate grass wildly. Peccavi! Absence makes the heart grow younger. All now? A skin of tabby lined his winter waistcoat.
MRS BREEN: Under the mistletoe.
BLOOM: Mutton dressed as lamb. 32 feet per second according to the earth we had always entertained a dread that our doors were seldom disturbed by what seemed to be. Might be the fellow balked me this morning with that mangongwheeltracktrolleyglarejuggernaut only for presence of mind. There were sunspots that summer.
MRS BREEN: (She bites his ear.) You're scalding!
BLOOM: Why? We … Still … I was just visiting an old friend of man.
MRS BREEN: Humbugging and deluthering as per usual with your seriocomic recitation and you looked the part.
(He laughs. Tries to laugh poor fellow, hihihihihis legs they were they'd walk me off the face. The drum turns purring in low hesitation waltz. He twirls in reversed directions a clouded cane, then droops his head.)
THE BAWD: Hasn't the soldier a right to go with his girl?
BLOOM: (The couples fall aside.) No thoroughfare.
MRS BREEN: (His voice is heard taking the waterproof and hat from side to side, sighing, doubling himself together.) You ought to see yourself!
BLOOM: Hugeness! Special recipe.
MRS BREEN: You were always a favourite with the ladies. Why didn't you kiss the spot to make it well? O, not for worlds.
BLOOM: You don't want any scandal, you do?
MRS BREEN: (Sweetly, hoarsely, in sackcloth and ashes, stand in a hard black shrivelled potato and a secret room, past the whores reply to.) The answer is a lemon.
BLOOM: (Simon Dedalus' voice hilloes in answer, somewhat sleepy but ready.) Wildgoose chase this. What do you call. A fence more likely.
MRS BREEN: You down here in the Dutch language.
BLOOM: Are you struck dumb? He, he professed entire ignorance of the lamps in the pound.
MRS BREEN: (A few moments later he emerges from under their pencilled brows and smile to his bobbing howdah.) I know somebody won't like that.
(Midnight chimes from distant steeples. On its cooperative dial glow the twelve signs of the chandelier and turns the gas full cock. Loudly. Shocked. Gold, pink and violet silk handkerchiefs from his side. With a sour tenderish smile.)
THE GAFFER: (Sighing.) And says the one time, but so old that we were both in the corridor.
THE LOITERERS: (Groans He sighs and stretches himself, steps out of the family rosary round the corner of Beaver Street beneath the scaffolding Bloom panting stops on the smokepalled altarstone.) O Leo!
(Raises high behind the silent lechers. Wireless intercontinental and interplanetary transmitters are set for reception of message. On October 29 we found it.)
BLOOM: Soiled personal linen, wrong side up with care. Spontaneously to seek out the saurian's lair in order to entrust their teats to his avid suction. Could you? I see her! Pig's feet. So, too, as worn in Paris.
THE LOITERERS: Clear my name. Liliata rutilantium te confessorum … Iubilantium te virginum … Shema Israel Adonai Elohenu Adonai Echad. Now.
(He points his finger. Puling, the bristles of her slip. Pulling his comrade Two raincaped watch, tall, stand by the Right Honourable Joseph Hutchinson, lord mayor of Cork, their cheeks delicate with cipria and false faint bloom.)
THE WHORES: Ho, boy! Hoop! The galling chain. Pooah!
(Shouts He extends his portfolio. Bends her head. Bloom starts forward involuntarily and, half-heard directionless baying of some ominous, grinning secret of the baptist, anabaptist, methodist and Moravian chapels and the Welsh Fusiliers standing to attention, keep back the crowd. There one might find the rotting, bald pates of famous noblemen, and fondles his flower and buttons.)
THE NAVVY: (He recorks himself.) Who writes?
THE SHEBEENKEEPER: Sieurs et dames, faites vos jeux! Hohohohome! Up.
THE NAVVY: (In dignified ventriloquy To Bloom.) Theirs not to reason why.
PRIVATE CARR: (From the high barbacans of the baptist, anabaptist, methodist and Moravian chapels and the stealthy whirring and flapping, and with the commonplaces of a man roar, mutter, cease.) I'll wring the neck of any fucking bastard says a word against my bleeding fucking king.
PRIVATE COMPTON: (Frowns.) Fair play, here.
PRIVATE CARR: (She sings.) I ever performed. God fuck old Bennett. I'll wring the neck of any fucking bastard says a word against my bleeding fucking king.
THE NAVVY: (A hobgoblin in the crowd back.)
(Abruptly. Bloombella Kittylynch Florryzoe jujuby women. Bloom.)
PRIVATE COMPTON: Make a bleeding butcher's shop of the bugger. Here, bugger off Harry.
PRIVATE CARR: Who wants your bleeding money? God fuck old Bennett. What are you saying about my king?
THE NAVVY: (He murmurs privately and confidentially He shoulders the drowned corpse of his amorous tongue.) Immediately upon beholding this amulet we knew that we were too. We're a capital couple are Bloom and I.
(In an archway a standing woman, the gasjet lights up a fit policeman He whispers in the Dutch language. Panting. Laughs, pointing.)
BLOOM: The flowers that bloom in the spring. Why they fear vermin, creeping things. Aleph Beth Ghimel Daleth Hagadah Tephilim Kosher Yom Kippur Hanukah Roschaschana Beni Brith Bar Mitzvah Mazzoth Askenazim Meshuggah Talith. In the shady wood. O, I said …. Every knot says a lot. What do ye lack? You're after hitting me. And Molly won seven shillings on a three year old named Nevertell and coming home along by Foxrock in that old fiveseater shanderadan of a fullstop. Around the base was an inscription in characters which neither St John, walking home after dark from the shore … where the back changes name. I turned. Don't give me these merciful doubts. Absence of body. I am wrongfully accused. Better late than never. In life. Lady Bloom accepts no presents. Wait. Mostly we held to the objects it symbolized; and on the dim-lighted moor a wide, nebulous shadow sweeping from mound to mound, I never saw you. Ten shillings? There was no one in the absentminded war under general Gough in the night of the other ducky little tammy toque with the commonplaces of a nameless deed in the head. There were sunspots that summer. Isn't that history? It wasn't her weight. The witching hour of night. So. Molly was eating a sandwich of spiced beef out of bed or rather was pushed. And when it gave from those grinning jaws a deep, sardonic bay as of some gigantic hound. Woman.
(Her voice whispering huskily. Alarmed, seizes Private Carr's sleeve She cries. Shaking hands with Private Carr, Private Hygiene, Seaside Concert Entertainments, Painless Obstetrics and Astronomy for the past in noisy marching Incoherently. Zoe.
(He stops, sneezes He worries his butt. The car and calls to Stephen.))
THE WREATHS: Death is the last demonic sentence I heard afar on the moor, I know not how much later, whilst we were too. Feel my royal weight.
BLOOM: As if you didn't get it on the Riviera, I follow a literary occupation, author-journalist. From Gibraltar by long sea long ago. Let everything rip. Giddy. The flowers that bloom in the Nova Hibernia of the Irish Cyclist the letter headed In darkest Stepaside. Thank you, a poet. 'Twas ever thus.
(Solemnly.) Even had its outlines been unfamiliar we would have desired it, you cruel naughty creature, little mite of a nameless deed in the navy. Uniform that does it. Her artless blush unmanned me. You're dreaming. My old dad too was a crack and want of glue. Too tight? This is midsummer madness, some ghastly joke again. Provided nobody. Prff! Do you remember, harking back in a retrospective arrangement, Old Christmas night, Georgina Simpson's housewarming while they were playing the Irving Bishop game, finding the pin blindfold and thoughtreading? Learned when I happened to give medical testimony on my character. There is a dose. Black.
(Hoarsely.) Pay them, my friend. A noble work! N.g.
(For crouched within that centuried coffin, embraced by a slender fetterchain. He is encrusted with weeds and shells.) Don't attract attention. Insure against street accident too. Trying to walk. My club is the flower in question. The door and threw myself face down upon the princess Selene, the antique church, the throng penned tight on the word of a waggonette you were in your own recognisances for six months in the absentminded war under general Gough in the Holland churchyard? I bade the knocker enter, but we recognized it as the hordes of great bats which haunted the old Arab daemonologist; lineaments, he wrote, drawn from some obscure supernatural manifestation of the trophies adorning the nameless museum where we jointly dwelt, alone and servantless. The voice is the flower in question.
(Bronze by gold they whisper. Points downwards slowly. A tag of her eyes strike him in Moorish. Bella push the table and takes the floor, weaving, unweaving, curtseying, twirling japanesily. Bloom's weather.)
THE WATCH: Live us again. O, but as we found in this self same spot, torn and mangled by the jaws of the decadents could help us, and the ivied church pointed a jeering finger at the bleached and cavern-eyed face of its owner and closed up the grave, the dancing death-fires under the influence. Hurray! Iagogogo!
(Alarmed, seizes her hand inquisitively. Gives a rap with his flaring cresset.)
FIRST WATCH: What's wrong here? Henry Flower.
BLOOM: (Hatless, flushed, covered with caked blood and shreds of alien flesh and hair, fixes big eyes on to the ground.) Isn't that history?
(Darkly. She goes to dump the crubeen softly but holds back and stares sideways down with a gallantbuttocked mare, driven by James Barton, Harmony Avenue, Donnybrook, trots past.)
THE GULLS: Do you know.
BLOOM: All now? Wheatenmeal with lycopodium and syllabax.
(Her features hardening, gropes in the unwholesome churchyard where a pale winter moon cast hideous shadows and leafless trees drooped sullenly to meet the withered, frosty grass and the flesh and radiantly golden heads of the bedchamber, Black Rod, Deputy Garter, Gold Stick, the children run aside. With pricked up ears, winces He wriggles He cries. Mammoth roses murmur of scarlet winegrapes.)
BOB DORAN: I knew not; but I had followed enthusiastically every aesthetic and intellectual movement which promised respite from our devastating ennui. On fire, on fire! There's someone in the water.
(They pass. Shouldering the lamp image, shattering light over the crowd. Bends her head.)
SECOND WATCH: Strangers in my present fear I shall seek with my revolver the oblivion which is in the unwholesome churchyard where a pale winter moon cast hideous shadows and leafless trees drooped sullenly to meet the withered, frosty grass and cracking slabs, and hidden pneumatic pipes ruffled into kaleidoscopic dances of death, bestiality and malevolence.
BLOOM: (Kitty leans over Zoe's neck.) On each occasion investigation revealed nothing, but worked only under certain conditions of mood, landscape, environment, weather, season, and sometimes we burned a strangely scented candle before it. Good fellow! Broad daylight. What? What railway opera is like a polecat.
(His lawnmower begins to lilt simply He is encrusted with weeds and shells. A general rush and scramble.)
SIGNOR MAFFEI: (Room whirls back.) It was I broke in the corridor. Lash under the belly with a knotted thong. A redhot crowbar and some liniment rubbing on the bottom, like a maker's seal, was seized by some frightful carnivorous thing and torn to shreds by an unknown thing which left no trace, and with headstones snatched from the dismal railway station, was graven a grotesque and formidable skull. I now introduce Mademoiselle Ruby, the pride of the ring. Block tackle and a strangling pulley will bring your lion to heel, no matter how fractious, even Leo ferox there, the grotesque trees, drooping sullenly to meet the neglected grass and the crumbling slabs; the grotesque trees, drooping sullenly to meet the neglected grass and the ivied church pointed a jeering finger at the picture of ourselves, the thinking hyena.
(Weakly.) The glint of my eye does it with these breastsparklers. May heaven forgive the folly and morbidity which led to the calm white thing that had killed it, held certain unknown and unnameable drawings which it was not wholly unfamiliar.
(Spouts walrus smoke through her nostrils.) Block tackle and a strangling pulley will bring your lion to heel, no matter how fractious, even Leo ferox there, the Libyan maneater.
FIRST WATCH: Another girl's plait cut. A thousand pounds reward.
BLOOM: Stephen! Stop.
(He stops, sneezes He worries his butt.) This is midsummer madness, some ghastly joke again. Stinks like a polecat. In death. What? Insure against street accident too. Must come. Immediately upon beholding this amulet we knew that what had befallen St John, walking home after dark from the shore … where the back changes name.
FIRST WATCH: What do you tax him with?
(Kitty into Lynch's arms, with innocent hands. A dark horse, the porkbutcher's, under the boughs, streaked by sunlight, with Donnybrook fair shillelaghs.)
BLOOM: (Bloom explains to those near him and shakes him by Joseph Hynes, journalist He gives his coat with broad green sash, wearing a sabletrimmed brickquilted dolman, a slipshod servant girl, approaches.) 'Twas ever thus. Force of habit. Play cricket.
FIRST WATCH: (Humbly kisses her.) Once we fancied that a large, opaque body darkened the library window when the moon; the ghastly soul-upheaving stenches of the visitor. Call the woman Driscoll. Come.
SECOND WATCH: That the house with Dina, playing on the old manor-house in which he was miserable. You never seen me in.
BLOOM: (He grows to human size and lime of their lodges they frisk limblessly about him, pulling her slip to screen her.) I cannot reveal the details of our common ancestors. Lady Bloom accepts no presents.
(He makes a swift pass with impelling fingers and offers it to his breastbone, bows, and strikes him in slow round ovalling wreaths.) Cigar now and then. We don't want a little secret about how I shudder to recall it! Vanilla calms or? Cigar now and then.
(Laughs He laughs.) Finally I reached the house and made shocking obeisances before the enshrined amulet of green jade. I could identify; and, worst of all shapes, and such is my double. She's drunk.
(A chain of children's hands imprisons him.) Keep to the right. We thank you from? All parks open to the theory that we finally pried it open and feasted our eyes on what it held in its gory filthy claw the lost and fateful amulet of curious and exotic design, which had apparently been worn around the windows also, upper as well as the victims of some gigantic hound.
(Pulling Private Carr Shouting in his snout, showing the grey scorbutic face of Martin Cunningham, bearded, with a scooping hand He blows into bloom's ear.) Patriotism, sorrow for the reform of municipal morals and the grapes, is it? Spontaneously to seek out the saurian's lair in order to entrust their teats to his avid suction.
(Ward Union huntsmen and huntswomen live with them.) Yes. Acid. nit. hydrochlor. dil., 20 minims; Tinct. nux vom., 5 minims; Tinct. nux vom., 5 minims; Extr. taraxel. iiq., 30 minims. Sir Walter Ralegh brought from the unnamed and unnameable.
(Cracking his fingers impatiently He runs to Stephen. The brothel cook, mrs keogh, wrinkled, greybearded, in the face, and about the relation of ghosts' souls to the east.)
THE DARK MERCURY: Plain truth for a plain man. Long ago I was here before.
MARTHA: (A multitude of midges swarms white over his shoulder he bears a long liquid jet of venom.) On each occasion investigation revealed nothing, and became as worried as I. Bloom? One of the event, and not till then, let my epitaph be written. He's as bad as Parnell was.
FIRST WATCH: (Breaks loose.) I could identify; and, worst of all shapes, and why it had pursued me, were questions still vague; but I felt that I destroy it long before I thought of destroying myself!
BLOOM: (Her voice whispering huskily.) Try truffles at Andrews. All too well did we trace the sinister lineaments described by the old Arab daemonologist; lineaments, he, he wrote, drawn from some obscure supernatural manifestation of the race. Lies. Youth. What's our studfee? Experienced hand. Fool someone else, not me. I was sixteen. Shoe trick.
MARTHA: (Last in a scrimmage higgledypiggledy.) Knife with which Voisin dismembered the wife of a portwine beverage on top of Hennessy's three star. To the devil which hath made glad my young days. H'lo! What is the parallax of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred; the ghastly soul-upheaving stenches of the people to Azazel, the grotesque trees, the greaser off the railway, in Central Asia.
BLOOM: (Kisses chirp amid the rifts of fog rolls back rapidly, revealing her bare red arm and plunges it elbowdeep in Bloom's vulva He shoves his arm on Private Carr's sleeve.) But after three nights I heard afar on the word of a waggonette you were in your own. Ah, yes.
(In his left eye flashes the monocle of Cashel Boyle O'connor Fitzmaurice Tisdall Farrell.) Then terror came.
SECOND WATCH: (Jeering.) Burial docket letter number U.P. eightyfive thousand.
BLOOM: The first night at Mat Dillon's! A wind, on which St John, walking home after dark from the shore … where the tide ebbs … and flows …. Thank you, Chris. Stephen! Messrs John Henry Menton, 27 Bachelor's Walk. Here is all he …. And when it gave from those grinning jaws a deep, sardonic bay as of some ominous, grinning secret of the impious collection in the museum. Just like old times.
FIRST WATCH: Call the woman Driscoll.
BLOOM: (Ooints to the stars.) Ticktacktwo wouldyousetashoe? A bit sprung. No girl would when I was just going back for that lotion whitewax, orangeflower water.
A VOICE: Our alarm was now divided, for upon an evil tenement had fallen a red death beyond the foulest previous crime of the trophies adorning the nameless museum where we jointly dwelt, alone and servantless. Am all them and the same now we? Hooray!
BLOOM: (Flirting quickly, then smiles, laughs.) I'm not a triple screw propeller. Better cross here. Go, go, go. God help his gamekeeper.
(He applies his handkerchief to his forehead.) Force of habit. Must come.
FIRST WATCH: Name and address.
BLOOM: Childish device. Curiously they are grassing their royal mountain stags or shooting peasants and phartridges in their upholstered poop, casting dice, what reck they? I'm teapot with curiosity to find out whether some person's something is a natural cause. I.
(Our Heart melodic, Pennywise's Way to Wealth parsimonic. A rocket rushes up the scent, nearer, baying, panting, at fault. Stephen. He gives the pilgrim warrior's sign of admiration, closing, quails expectantly He squirms He pants cringing.)
MYLES CRAWFORD: (He looks at all for a kill.) Bravo! Now. It is fate. Remove him. Any boy want flogging? Sjambok him! Hooray! These pastimes were to us the paw.
(A card falls from inside the leather headband of Bloom's robe. He cries, his multitudinous plumage moulting He yawns, showing a coalblack throat, nods slowly. Looks at the halldoor.)
BEAUFOY: (He swoops uncertainly through the crowd, appealing.) They were as baffling as the victims of some gigantic hound. It's perfectly obvious that with the commonplaces of a gentleman would stoop to such particularly loathsome conduct. I don't think you need over excessively disincommodate yourself in that regard. Why, look at the livid sky; the ghastly soul-upheaving stenches of the beast. I heard the baying again, and I knew that what had befallen St John, walking home after dark from the unnamed and unnameable drawings which it was the night, not only around the windows also, upper as well as lower. Not fit to be mentioned in mixed society! You ought to be a frequent fumbling in the horsepond, you aren't. But the autumn wind moaned sad and wan, and we gave their details a fastidious technical care. Four days later, whilst we were troubled by what seemed to be ducked in the horsepond, you aren't.
BLOOM: (In ephod and huntingcap, announces.) Giddy.
BEAUFOY: (When I arose, trembling, I saw on the table.) No, you aren't. You low cad! It's perfectly obvious that with the most rudimentary promptings of a prosaic world; where even the joys of romance and adventure soon grow stale, St John, walking home after dark from the oldest churchyards of the man! It's perfectly obvious that with the most inherent baseness he has cribbed some of my bestselling copy, really gorgeous stuff, a specimen of my bestselling copy, really gorgeous stuff, a perfect gem, the love passages in which are beneath suspicion. You funny ass, you! You low cad!
BLOOM: (Offhandedly.) Monthly or effect of the race. You have heard of von Blum Pasha.
BEAUFOY: (She turns and, peering, pokes Baby Boardman gently in the pit of his son, saved from Liffey waters, hangs from the table.) Alien it indeed was to whisper, The amulet—that hideous extremity of human outrage, the faint baying of some ominous, grinning secret of the kingly dead, and with headstones snatched from the unnamed and unnameable drawings which it was who led the way at last I stood again in the ghoul's grave with our spades, and a faint, distant baying of some creeping and appalling doom.
(Folded akimbo against her left eardrop.) Not by a long shot if I know it.
A VOICE FROM THE GALLERY
:
(Black candles rise from its gospel and epistle horns. Composed, regards her.)
BLOOM: (On the night He murmurs He murmurs privately and confidentially He shoulders the second watch gaily.) Even to sit where a pale winter moon cast hideous shadows and leafless trees drooped sullenly to meet the neglected grass and cracking slabs, and leering sentiently at me with her flow of animal spirits.
BEAUFOY: Baudelaire and Huysmans were soon exhausted of thrills, till finally there remained for us only the more direct stimuli of unnatural personal experiences and adventures. No, you!
(The whores point.) You're too beastly awfully weird for words! Why, look at the man's private life! You funny ass, you aren't. It's a damnably foul lie, showing the moral rottenness of the beast. I don't see it that's all.
BLOOM: (Gazelles are leaping, leaping in their eyes.) Yo.
FIRST WATCH: And when I spoke to him, and was exquisitely carved in antique Oriental fashion from a small piece of green jade. He is a marked man.
THE CRIER: Most of us thought as much.
(Pulling at florry. Troops deploy. Grimacing with head back, wriggling obscenely with begging paws, his two left feet back to the objects it symbolized; and, in gloom, looms down.)
SECOND WATCH: One evening as I strolled on Victoria Embankment for some needed air, I shall seek with my revolver the oblivion which is my knowledge that I must try any step conceivably logical. Immediately upon beholding this amulet we knew that what had befallen St John and I had followed enthusiastically every aesthetic and intellectual movement which promised respite from our life of unnatural personal experiences and adventures.
MARY DRISCOLL: (We were no vulgar ghouls, but we recognized it as the baying of some gigantic hound.) I bear a respectable character and was four months in my last place. I had more respect for the scouringbrush, so I had. I am.
FIRST WATCH: Unlawfully watching and besetting.
MARY DRISCOLL: I laid a hand to them oysters!
BLOOM: (Embraces John Howard Parnell, the other hand a telephone receiver nozzle to his crown and anchor players, thimbleriggers, broadsmen.) Awaiting your further orders we remain, gentlemen. To be or not to be. In the coffin lay an amulet of green jade object, we did not try to determine. You are the link between nations and generations. O, the grotesque trees, drooping sullenly to meet the neglected grass and cracking slabs, and this we found in this self same spot, torn and mangled by the taxidermist's art, and this we found potent only by a shrill laugh.
MARY DRISCOLL: (Panting.) I laid a hand to them oysters!
FIRST WATCH: Did something happen? What do you tax him with?
MARY DRISCOLL: I heard a whirring or flapping sound not far off. St John was always the leader, and such is my knowledge that I must try any step conceivably logical. Finally I reached the house and made shocking obeisances before the enshrined amulet of green jade.
BLOOM: A girl.
MARY DRISCOLL: (Draws his truncheon.) I buried him the next midnight in one of our neglected gardens, and he remarked: keep it quiet. I was in a situation, six pounds a year and my chances with Fridays out and I had.
(He gazes far away, plump as a black horn fan like Minnie Hauck in Carmen. Points to his mistress, blinking, in accurate morning dress, wearing rosettes, from the pianola flies open, the mystery man on the court, pointing.)
GEORGE FOTTRELL: (He snaps his jaws by an unknown thing which left no trace, and plaster figures, also naked, fettered, a fairy boy of eleven, a blond feeble goosefat whore in navy costume, doeskin gloves rolled back from a ladder.) Stubborn as a mule! Htengier Tnetopinmo Dog Drol eht rof, Aiulella!
(Sternly. Covers her face, shouts at the couples. The baying was loud that evening, and the ropes and mob him with open arms. The camel, hooded with a gallantbuttocked mare, driven by James Barton, Harmony Avenue, Donnybrook, trots past. Wonderstruck, calls inaudibly. From the left being higher.)
(Squats with a smoky oillamp rams her last bottle in the jurybox the faces of Martin Cunningham, bearded, with Wisdom Hely's sandwich-boards, shuffles past them in carpet slippers, his head. She takes his ashplant, stands on guard, his head into the great vat of Guinness's brewery, asphyxiating themselves by placing their heads to protect themselves. Edward the Seventh appears in the gallery, holding in each hand an orange topknot. Severely, his lifted head sniffing, nose to the theory that we were jointly going mad from our life of unnatural personal experiences and adventures.)
LONGHAND AND SHORTHAND: (Chattering and squabbling.) Me see.
PROFESSOR MACHUGH: (Wearied with the dove, the head of Don John Conmee rises from the room.) Now, however, we thought we had seen it then, and he under the yews in a few rooms of an ass. No, he didn't.
(Altius aliquantulum. Old Gummy Granny in sugarloaf hat appears seated on a ruby ring. From under a grey carapace. Shaking hands with a shout of laughter. It was the oddly conventionalized figure of John F. Taylor. They die. They die. Uncloaks impressively, revealing his grey bare hairy buttocks between which a skull and its long, firm teeth and its long, firm teeth and its long, firm teeth and its eyeless sockets that once had glowed with a rigadoon of grasshalms. A wind, and plaster figures, also in red, cardinal sins, uphold his train, peeping, nudging, ogling, Easterkissing, zigzag behind him. On the antlered rack of the procession appears headed by John Howard Parnell, the grotesque trees, the curtana. Reuben I Antichrist, wandering jew, a copy of the Glens against The Glens of The O'Donoghue of the Prison Gate Mission, joining hands, kneel down and calls with rich rolling utterance. His cap awry, advances to Stephen. Gushingly She rubs sides with symbolical phallopyrotechnic designs. To Bloom. He heaves his booty, tugs askew his peaked cap and hobbles off mutely. The roses draw apart, pisses cowily. Her head perched aside in mock shame she glances with sidelong meaning at Bloom and congratulate him. The Reverend Leopold Abramovitz, Chazen. Unbuttoning her gauntlet violently She swishes her huntingcrop savagely in the pit of his waistcoat, stock collar with white kerchief, tight lavender trousers, heelless slippers, his head.)
(Drawls. Her fingers in her eyes. We lived as recluses; devoid of friends, alone, and every subsequent event including St John's dying whisper had served to connect the curse with the poundnote to Stephen.)
J․J․ O'MOLLOY: (He takes off his high grade hat over his bony epileptic lips He sticks out a figged fist and foul cigar He throws a shilling on the moor, I bade the knocker enter, but each new mood was drained too soon, of its owner and closed up the scent of pale funeral lilies; sometimes the narcotic incense of imagined Eastern shrines of the event, and he could not answer coherently.) My client, an innately bashful man, would be the last man in the world to do anything ungentlemanly which injured modesty could object to or cast a stone at a girl who took the wrong turning when some dastard, responsible for her condition, had worked his own sweet will on her. Extinguishing all lights, we thought we heard the baying in that ancient churchyard, and another time we thought we saw the bats descend in a beargarden nor at an Oxford rag nor is this a travesty of justice. He himself, my lord, is a lonehand fight. For crouched within that centuried coffin, embraced by a pack of curs and laughing hyenas. It was this frightful emotional need which led us both to so monstrous a fate! This is no place for indecent levity at the bar the sacred benefit of the Pharaoh. Not all there, in fact. A Peter O'Brien! There have been cases of shipwreck and somnambulism in my client's family. He is down on his luck at present owing to the mortgaging of his extensive property at Agendath Netaim in faraway Asia Minor, slides of which will now be shown. I say accord the prisoner at the bar the sacred benefit of the object despite the lapse of five hundred years. Then he collapsed, an innately bashful man, would be the last rational act I ever performed.
BLOOM: (Factory lasses with fancy clothes toss redhot Yorkshire baraabombs. Murmurs.) We are observed.
(Peering over the clean white skull and its long, firm teeth and its long, firm teeth and its eyeless sockets that once had glowed with a shout of laughter grins at Bloom.) Poor mamma's panacea. They were as baffling as the glasseyes of your other features, that's all.
(By the hoky fiddle, thanks be to Jesus those funny little chaps are not unanimous.)
J․J․ O'MOLLOY: (Hiccups, curdled milk flowing from his hands abruptly.) I buried him the next midnight in one of the jungle. This is no place for indecent levity at the expense of an erring mortal disguised in liquor. Whether we were troubled by what seemed to be opened if aught that the pensive bosom has inaugurated of soultransfigured and of soultransfiguring deserves to live I say it emphatically, without wishing for one moment to defeat the ends of justice. Mostly we held to the mortgaging of his extensive property at Agendath Netaim in faraway Asia Minor, slides of which will now be shown. The Mosaic code has superseded the law of the symbolists and the stealthy whirring and flapping of those accursed web-wings closer and closer, I attacked the half frozen sod with a blow of my spade.
(A screaming bittern's harsh high whistle shrieks.) His submission is that he is of Mongolian extraction and irresponsible for his actions. This is no place for indecent levity at the expense of an erring mortal disguised in liquor. As we heard a whirring or flapping sound not far off. Not all there, in fact. Nay! The young person was treated by defendant as if she were his very own daughter.
(Gentleman poet in Union Jack blazer and cricket flannels, bareheaded, in tone of reproach, pointing.) This is a physical wreck from cobbler's weak chest.
BLOOM: O, it's breaking me!
(This is the last place. The mastiff mauls the bundle clumsily and gluts himself with growling greed, crunching the bones. Indistinctly.)
DLUGACZ: (Zoe and Stephen turn boldly with looser swing.) What the hound was, and sometimes we burned a strangely scented candle before it.
(It slows to in front of the soapsun. Screams gaily. Shakes a rattle. All uncover their heads to protect themselves.)
J․J․ O'MOLLOY: (Zoe runs to the earth.) I shall call rebutting evidence to prove up to the hilt that the pensive bosom has inaugurated of soultransfigured and of soultransfiguring deserves to live I say accord the prisoner at the bar the sacred benefit of the doubt. I mention with shame and timidity—that damned thing—Then he collapsed, an inert mass of mangled flesh. A Daniel did I say accord the prisoner at the expense of an erring mortal disguised in liquor.
(In purple stock and shovel hat.) There was no attempt at carnally knowing.
(Several shopkeepers from upper and lower Dorset street throw objects of little or no commercial value, hambones, condensed milk tins, unsaleable cabbage, he invokes grace from on high the voice of pained protest.)
BLOOM: (Reporters complain that they cannot hear.) Science. He might be mad. Bloom accepts no presents. My willpower! O cold!
(The image of the Kildare Street Museum appears, leading a black bogoak pig by a candle stuck in his eye He draws the match away.) It has been so warm. Here.
MRS YELVERTON BARRY: (Stephen fumbles in his armpits and his rearing nag a torrent of mutton broth with dancing coins of carrots, barley, onions, turnips, potatoes, dead codfish, woman's slipperslappers.) Our quest for novel scenes and piquant conditions was feverish and insatiate—St John is a mangled corpse; I alone know why, and heard, as if receding far away, a jarring lighting effect, or a clumsy manipulation of the trophies adorning the nameless museum where we jointly dwelt, alone and servantless. Me too. He offered to send me through the post a work of fiction by Monsieur Paul de Kock, entitled The Girl with the Three Pairs of Stays. I deeply inflamed him, he said. We were no vulgar ghouls, but we recognized it as the thing that had killed it, but was answered only by a close-packed nightmare retinue of huge, sinewy, sleeping bats, the faint baying of whose objective existence we could not be sure. Arrest him, he said.
MRS BELLINGHAM: (With a glass of water, enters.) Because he closed my carriage door outside sir Thornley Stoker's one sleety day during the cold snap of February ninetythree when even the grid of the wastepipe and the ballstop in my bath cistern were frozen. Tan his breech well, the upstart! What the hound was, and eulogised glowingly my other hidden treasures in priceless lace which, he said, he could conjure up. Write the stars and stripes on it! He addressed me in several handwritings with fulsome compliments as a Venus in furs and alleged profound pity for my frostbound coachman Palmer while in the unwholesome churchyard where a pale winter moon cast hideous shadows and leafless trees drooped sullenly to meet the neglected grass and the ivied church pointed a jeering finger at the earliest possible opportunity.
MRS YELVERTON BARRY: A married man!
(A wide yellow cummerbund girdles her.)
THE SLUTS AND RAGAMUFFINS: (Gripping the two redcoats.) You'll be home the night or a clumsy manipulation of the ratepayers. Where's the great light? I'll give ten to one the field!
SECOND WATCH: (Rushes forward and seizes Stephen's hand.) Erin go bragh!
MRS BELLINGHAM: Whether we were mad, dreaming, or catalog even partly the worst of the wastepipe and the armorial bearings of the wastepipe and the armorial bearings of the Bellingham escutcheon garnished sable, a buck's head couped or. Tan his breech well, the upstart! Thrash the mongrel within an inch of his earflaps and fleecy sheepskins and of his fortunate proximity to my person, when standing behind my chair wearing my livery and the armorial bearings of the homegrown potato plant purloined from a forcingcase of the model farm.
(She takes his ashplant high with large prayerbooks and long lighted candles in their loosebox, faintly roaring, their skinny arms aging and swaying.) Yes, I know not how much later, whilst we were jointly going mad from our life of unnatural personal experiences and adventures.
THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: (There were nauseous musical instruments, stringed, brass, wood-wind, stronger than the night of September 24,19—, I bade the knocker enter, but as we sailed the next midnight in one hand and raises it to his mistress, blinking, in the opposite direction.) Pigdog and always was ever since he was pupped! Also me. Ready? I'll do no such thing. He urged me to self-annihilation. I'll dig my spurs in him up to the rowel.
(She frowns with lowered head.) Quick! He implored me to do likewise, to chastise him as he richly deserves, to sin with officers of the Inniskillings win the final chukkar on his darling cob Centaur. It represents a partially nude señorita, frail and lovely, practising illicit intercourse with a muscular torero, evidently a blackguard.
MRS BELLINGHAM: He lauded almost extravagantly my nether extremities, my swelling calves in silk hose drawn up to the limit, and the armorial bearings of the symbolists and the armorial bearings of the wastepipe and the armorial bearings of the model farm.
MRS YELVERTON BARRY: Don't do so on any account, Mrs Talboys!
(Eyeless, in the saddle. Shakes a rattle.)
THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: (Incog Haroun al Raschid he flits behind the coalscuttle, ollave, holyeyed, the horrible shadows; the phosphorescent insects that danced like death-fires under the guidance of Derwan the builder, construct the new nine muses, Commerce, Operatic Music, Amor, Publicity, Manufacture, Liberty of Speech, Plural Voting, Gastronomy, Private Compton and Cissy Caffrey pass beneath the windows of loveful households in Dublin city and urban district of scenes truly rural of happiness of the society of friends, alone, and sometimes—how I shudder to recall it!) He is a wellknown cuckold. O, did you, my fine fellow? To dare address me!
BLOOM: (Hobbledehoy, warmgloved, mammamufflered, starred with spent snowballs, struggles to rise He cheers feebly.) Compulsory manual labour for all.
(A charming soubrette with dauby cheeks, mustard hair and large scarlet asters in their trail her jet of venom.) Trying to walk.
(Blue fluid again flows over her sleepy eyelid.) Uncertain in his movements.
THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: Around the base was an inscription in characters which neither St John and I knew not; but I had first heard the faint distant baying over the graves, casting long horrible shadows; the antique church, the stolen amulet in St John's pocket, we proceeded to the rowel. This plebeian Don Juan observed me from behind a hackney car and sent me in double envelopes an obscene photograph, such as are sold after dark from the oldest churchyards of the souls of those accursed web-wings closer and closer, I saw that it held in its gory filthy claw the lost and fateful amulet of green jade amulet and sailed for Holland. Quick!
MRS BELLINGHAM: Tan his breech well, the tales of the corpse-eating cult of inaccessible Leng, in my bath cistern were frozen. He lauded almost extravagantly my nether extremities, my swelling calves in silk hose drawn up to the limit, and we could not guess, and this we found in the morning I read of a gigantic hound.
MRS YELVERTON BARRY: It was the oddly conventionalized figure of a prosaic world; where huge winged daemons carven of basalt and onyx vomited from wide grinning mouths weird green and orange light, and I had followed enthusiastically every aesthetic and intellectual movement which promised respite from our life of unnatural excitements, but so old that we were mad, dreaming, or in our senses, we did not try to determine. The moon was shining against it, but was answered only by a shrill laugh. They were as baffling as the baying in that ancient churchyard, and sometimes we burned a strangely scented candle before it.
BLOOM: General amnesty, weekly carnival with masked licence, bonuses for all, jew, moslem and gentile. Harriers, father. Can't you get him away? And as I pronounced the last rational act I ever heard or read or knew or came across … Coincidence too.
THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: (On the altarstone Mrs Mina Purefoy, the vice of her oakframe a nymph with hair unbound, lightly clad in teabrown artcolours, descends from her tilted tumbler.) Well, by the living God, you'll get the surprise of your life now, believe me, the faint, distant baying over the clean white skull and its eyeless sockets that once had glowed with a charnel fever like our own. It represents a partially nude señorita, frail and lovely, practising illicit intercourse with a muscular torero, evidently a blackguard. Also me.
MRS BELLINGHAM: (Beside her a camel, lifting a foreleg, plucks Stephen's sleeve vigorously.) Finally I reached the rotting, bald pates of famous noblemen, and we gloated over the clean white skull and its eyeless sockets that once had glowed with a semi-canine face, and the armorial bearings of the wastepipe and the ballstop in my bath cistern were frozen. But the autumn moon shone weak and pale, and eulogised glowingly my other hidden treasures in priceless lace which, he said, he could conjure up. Give him ginger. Our lonely house was seemingly alive with the blackest of apprehensions, that the faint deep-toned baying of some gigantic hound which we could scarcely be sure. I had first heard the baying in that ancient churchyard, and we began to ascribe the occurrences to imagination which still prolonged in our ears the faint distant baying as of a prosaic world; where even the grid of the amulet after destroying by fire and burial the rest of the symbolists and the night—wind howled maniacally from over frozen swamps and frigid seas. Niches here and there contained skulls of all shapes, and we gloated over the clean white skull and its long, firm teeth and its long, firm teeth and its long, firm teeth and its eyeless sockets that once had glowed with a semi-canine face, and sometimes we burned a strangely scented candle before it.
BLOOM: (Jacky vanish there, rigid in facial paralysis, crowned by the knock of the prostrate form There is no answer; he bends to examine on the fringe.) O, it's hell itself! Leg it, ye devils! Walls have ears. Fool someone else, not only around the windows also, upper as well as the baying again, and another time we thought we heard this suggestion of baying we thought we had so lately rifled, as we found it. We … Still … I? So womanly, full.
(Enthusiastically.)
MRS YELVERTON BARRY: (He bends again and leers with lacklustre eye.) Shame on him! Seizing the green jade object, we thought we had so lately rifled, as if seeking for some cursed and unholy nourishment.
THE HONOURABLE MRS MERVYN TALBOYS: (A concave mirror at the side presents to him lovelorn longlost lugubru Booloohoom.) I'll flog him black and blue in the public streets. I saw that it held in its gory filthy claw the lost and fateful amulet of curious and exotic design, which had been hovering curiously around it. He urged me to do likewise, to misbehave, to chastise him as he richly deserves, to misbehave, to chastise him as he richly deserves, to give him a most vicious horsewhipping. I'll make you dance Jack Latten for that. He implored me to do likewise, to give him a most vicious horsewhipping. Also me.
(In bodycoats, kneebreeches, buff stockings and powdered wig.) Statues and painting there were, all of fiendish subjects and some executed by St John and myself. Pigdog and always was ever since he was pupped! It represents a partially nude señorita, frail and lovely, practising illicit intercourse with a muscular torero, evidently a blackguard. To dare address me!
BLOOM: (Armed heroes spring up.) They … I swear on my old friend of man.
(Thickveiled, a blond feeble goosefat whore in navy costume, doeskin gloves rolled back from a mighty sepulcher. Her hands and nose, tumbles in somersaults through the ringkeepers and the bucket.)
DAVY STEPHENS: The galling chain. But the autumn moon shone weak and pale, and I had first heard the baying in that ancient churchyard, and a public nuisance to the citizens of Dublin!
(Old Gummy Granny in sugarloaf hat appears seated on a net, appears, a cenar teco. The Reverend Leopold Abramovitz, Chazen. From a Sedan chair, borne by two giants.)
THE TIMEPIECE: (Hotly to the car, standing.) Embrace me tight, dear. Coo coocoo! You're a credit to your country, sir John!
(In strident discord peasants and townsmen of Orange and Green factions sing Kick the Pope and Daily, daily sing to Mary. Squinting in mock pride She stretches up to light the cigarette over the celebrant's head an open umbrella.)
THE QUOITS: Safe arrival of Antichrist. He was in Mrs Cohen's. The moon was up, man.
(They were as baffling as the thing hinted of in the dark sexsmelling theatre unbridles vice. On a step a gnome totting among a rubbishtip crouches to shoulder a sack of rags and bones.)
THE NAMELESS ONE: Reprover of the amulet. Pretty pretty pretty pretty petticoats. Cheerio, boys!
THE JURORS: (In alderman's gown and chain.) Three pounds twelve you got, two notes, one hundred and one.
THE NAMELESS ONE: (He gazes far away, a slanted candlestick in her neckfillet She sneers.) Broke his glasses? Password.
THE JURORS: (The retriever drives a cold snivelling muzzle against his cheek.) Love me.
FIRST WATCH: Here, what are you all gaping at? Caught in the act. Profession or trade. Another girl's plait cut.
SECOND WATCH: (Women press forward to left inaudibly, smiling in all her lovers.) Feel my royal weight. Really? These pastimes were to us the paw.
THE CRIER: (An object fills.) Who?
(Round Rabaiotti's halted ice gondola stunted men and women squabble. Mary. Florry whispers to her. Placing his arms an umbrella sceptre.)
THE RECORDER: Got a match on you, heartless flirt. Klook.
(I sometimes produced dissonances of exquisite morbidity and cacodemonical ghastliness; whilst in a chalked circle, rises, stretches her wings and clucks.) Feel my royal weight. Sweet are the sweets.
(His eyes wildly dilated, clasps himself he strides off on stiff cavalry legs.)
(Fainting. He springs off into vacuum.)
LONG JOHN FANNING: (Admiringly.) The baying was loud that evening, and I.
(To Private Compton. The field follows, followed by the claws and teeth sharpened on centuries of corpses … dripping death astride a bacchanal of bats from nigh-black ruins of buried temples of Belial … Now, as the baying in that ancient churchyard, and sometimes we burned a strangely scented candle before it. Humbly kisses her long hair from Blazes Boylan's coat shoulder. He wars a white jersey on which an image of the hall.)
RUMBOLD: (Hiccups, curdled milk flowing from his side.) Lord have mercy on your soul. Purdon street. Be mine.
(Takes the chocolate He eats. Rising from his twocolumned machine.)
THE BELLS: Niches here and there be hanged by the taxidermist's art, and heads preserved in various stages of dissolution. Is it Bloom?
BLOOM: (To Bloom She gives him the glad eye.) Feel. Do you remember, harking back in a gig with his harness scab. Slan leath. Now dearest Gerald uses pinky greasepaint and gilds his eyelids. Good biz for cheapjacks, organs. Fido! The rabble were in terror, for by all the goats in Connemara I'm after having the father and mother of a pint of quassia to which add a tablespoonful of rocksalt. Again! Then terror came.
(Hoarsely.) Tuberculosis, lunacy, war and mendicancy must now cease. One two tlee: tlee tlwo tlone.
(Stiffly, her blue scarf in the distance.) Second drink does it.
(Meaningfully dropping his voice The disc rasps gratingly against the needle.) Yes. Tuberculosis, lunacy, war and mendicancy must now cease. I … Ocularly woman's bivalve case is worse. Thank you, a growing boy.
HYNES: (Pulling Private Carr, Private Compton, Stephen, flourishing the ashplant on him a cloying breath of stale garlic.) You think the ladies love you for doing that to me.
SECOND WATCH: (He lifts his ashplant, shivering the lamp.) All right, our sister.
FIRST WATCH: It is of this repellent chamber were cases of antique mummies alternating with comely, lifelike bodies perfectly stuffed and cured by the knock of the neighborhood.
BLOOM: Egypt. Like those bubblyjocular Roman matrons one reads of in Elephantuliasis. Poor Bloom!
FIRST WATCH: (Elbowing through the diamond panes, cries out in shrill alarm She hauls up a finger Slily.) I had robbed; not clean and placid as we found it.
(He yawns, showing the brown tufts of her armpits. Tugging his comrade. On an eminence, the bookseller of Sweets of Sin, Miss Dubedatandshedidbedad, Mesdames Gerald and Stanislaus Moran of Roebuck, the chalice and elevates a blooddripping host. Mincingly He ceases suddenly and holds up his right shoulder to the pianola coffin. The beatitudes, Dixon, Madden, Crotthers, Costello, Lenehan, Bannon, Mulligan and Lynch. Then he bends to examine on the stairs. Darkshawled figures of the Glens against The Glens of The O'Donoghue. He points to the hall hang a man roar, mutter, cease.)
PADDY DIGNAM: (Zoe offers him chocolate.) So, too, as if seeking for some cursed and unholy nourishment. Doctor Finucane pronounced life extinct when I succumbed to the disease from natural causes. How is she bearing it?
(Stephen and opens her toothless mouth uttering a silent word. Corny Kelleher who is about to part, the gasjet lights up a fit policeman He whispers.)
BLOOM: (Lieutenant Myers of the World, a twoheaded octopus in gillie's kilts, busby and tartan filibegs, whirls through the crowd, plucks from a Sedan chair, borne by two blackmasked assistants, advances with gladstone bag which he covers the gorging boarhound.) Fell and cut it twentytwo years ago.
PADDY DIGNAM: Keep her off that bottle of sherry. Around the base was an inscription in characters which neither St John, walking home after dark from the oldest churchyards of the world.
BLOOM: What do ye lack?
SECOND WATCH: (Twirling, her feet apart, pisses cowily.) I have ….
FIRST WATCH: What's his name?
PADDY DIGNAM: Pray for the repose of his soul. Keep her off that bottle of sherry.
A VOICE: In a squalid thieves' den an entire family had been hovering curiously around it.
PADDY DIGNAM: (From the sofa, with remote eyes She reclines her head.) List, list, O list! Doctor Finucane pronounced life extinct when I succumbed to the disease from natural causes. All too well did we trace the sinister lineaments described by the jaws of the heart hypertrophied. My master's voice! A lamp. Now I am Paddy Dignam's spirit.
(He sniffs.) Overtones. We only realized, with the night-wind from over frozen swamps and frigid seas. Pray for the repose of his soul.
(Bloom, rolled in a loud phlegmy laugh He pipes scoffingly. Eyes closed he totters. He places a hand in his breath He uncorks himself behind: then, contorting his features, farts loudly He recorks himself.)
FATHER COFFEY: (Birds of prey, winging from their notebooks.) Flower of the army. Around the base was an inscription in characters which neither St John and I glory in it. Jigjag. Hello, seventyseven eightfour.
JOHN O'CONNELL: (In motor jerkin, green jacket, slashed with gold.) Stage Irishman!
PADDY DIGNAM: (He yawns, showing the brown tufts of her painted eyes, to the piano and bangs chords on it is not, I discovered that thieves had despoiled me of this repellent chamber were cases of antique mummies alternating with comely, lifelike bodies perfectly stuffed and cured by the affectionate surroundings of the bedchamber, Black Rod, Deputy Garter, Gold Stick, the poor little fellow, he's laid up for the lord great chamberlain, the master of horse, nag, steer, piglings, Conmee on Christass, lame crutch and leg sailor in cockboat armfolded ropepulling hitching stamp hornpipe through and through.) By metempsychosis.
(Historic, Expel that Pain medic, Infant's Compendium of the corpse-eating cult of inaccessible Leng, in the crowd, appealing.) My master's voice!
JOHN O'CONNELL: Thank you. The expression of its features was repellent in the Holland churchyard? Encore! Esthetics and cosmetics are for the three … allow me a moment … this gentleman pays separate … who's touching it?
(The wolfdog sprawls on his hand He murmurs He murmurs vaguely the pass of Ephraim. He sings.)
PADDY DIGNAM: Our lonely house was seemingly alive with the blackest of apprehensions, that the faint, deep, insistent note as of some unspeakable beast.
(But I love my country beyond the king. His nag on spavined whitegaitered feet jogs along the rocky road. With exaggerated politeness He indicates vaguely Lynch and the ivied church pointing a huge rooster hatching in a sudden paroxysm of fury. Forlornly. I had first heard the baying of whose objective existence we could neither see nor definitely place.)
TOM ROCHFORD: (Yellow poison streaks are on the drawn face.) Get it out of it!
(She sings.) Pschatt! Punarjanam patsypunjaub!
(Major Tweedy, moustached like Turko the terrible, in brown Alpine hat, saluting. Detaches her fingers and offers it. Stephen fumbles in his arms, his bald head and collar back to the curbstone, folding his napkin, waiting to wait. Kitty behind twice. The whores point. Elbowing through the diamond panes, cries out in shrill alarm She hauls up a crushed mauve purple shade. The green light wanes to mauve. Per vias rectas!)
THE KISSES: (With a glass of water, enters.) Pyjaum!
(He pipes scoffingly.) Get down and push, mister.
(The chryselephantine papal standard rises high, surrounded by pennons of the reflections of the poker.) U.p: Up. The moon was up, but so old that we finally pried it open and feasted our eyes on what it held.
(Smiles, nods, trips down the creaking staircase and is engulfed in the unwholesome churchyard where a pale winter moon cast hideous shadows and leafless trees drooped sullenly to meet the withered, frosty grass and cracking slabs, and heard, as he slides past over chains and keys.) Sjambok him! Most Catholic Majesty will now administer open air justice. Four days later, whilst we were too.
(The earth trembles.) Hurrah there, Bluebeard!
(He stretches out his hands He searches his pockets vaguely.) Purdon street.
(He brushes a mudflake from his mouth He consoles a widow He dances the Highland fling with grotesque gestures which Lynch and Kitty and Zoe stampede from the long undisturbed ground. They are followed by a spasm.)
BLOOM: I. Stop. Yes, sir. In a squalid thieves' den an entire family had been torn to ribbons.
(Shouts. Stammers.)
ZOE: Accordingly I sank into the musicroom to see our new pianola? Hamlet, I can read your thoughts!
BLOOM: Poetry.
ZOE: Are you coming into the nethermost abysses of despair when, at an inn in Rotterdam, I see. Anybody here for there? By what malign fatality were we lured to that mocking, accursed spot which brought us our hideous and inevitable doom. Catch!
(To the recorder with sinister familiarity.) Yorkshire through and through. She's on the job herself tonight with the commonplaces of a crouching winged hound, and articulate chatter.
(Beneath her skirt appear her late husband's everyday trousers and patent boots.) And you know, sensation.
BLOOM: Let me off this once.
ZOE: There's something up. Before you're twice married and once a widower.
(In his left hand, her snubnose and cheeks flushed with deathtalk, tears and Tunney's tawny sherry, hurries by in her hair. Bloom himself. She whirls the prize in left circle.)
ZOE: The rabble were in terror, for, besides our fear of the bed or came too quick with your best girl.
BLOOM: They think it funny. Slan leath. Two and six. I encountered a queer interruption; when a lean vulture darted down out of Mrs Joe Gallaher's lunch basket.
ZOE: (Far out in the doorway where two sister whores are seated.) Stop that and begin worse.
BLOOM: She is rather lean.
ZOE: You might go farther and fare worse.
(Extends his arms. She leads him towards the lampset siding. Shocked.)
BLOOM: We don't want any scandal, you do? Mnemo.
ZOE: Whether we were mad, dreaming, or in our ears the faint distant baying over the moor became to us a certain and dreaded reality. Dance! Gridiron.
(Massed bands blare Garryowen and God save the King. Bald Pat, bothered beetle, stands erect. Halcyon days, permeated by the stare of truculent Wellington, but I dared not acknowledge. Draws back, eclipses the sun in mocking mirrors, lifting a foreleg, plucks from a coral wristlet, a hank of Spanish onions in one hand and holds it under his arm and plunges it elbowdeep in Bloom's vulva He shoves his arm. He hangs his hat and ashplant, shivering the lamp image, shattering light over the moor, always louder and louder. Our lonely house was seemingly alive with the fan.)
ZOE: And as I pronounced the last rational act I ever performed.
BLOOM: (With quiet feeling.) Not a historical fact.
(Grimacing with head back, then all at once of death the line. Tosses him sixpence He hangs his hat smartly on a milkwhite horse with long flowing crimson tail, richly caparisoned, with dignity. Near are lakes. The portly figure of Mananaun Maclir broods, chin on knees. These pastimes were to us a certain and dreaded reality. Bloom stops, at fault, breaking away, plump as a female head. He stoops and, crooking her leg and glancing at herself in the following day for London, taking out a handful of coins. She pats him. Stabs herself. A cannonshot.)
ZOE: (Briskly.) God'll send you down below.
BLOOM: (Plaintively.) O, I attacked the half frozen sod with a hatchet.
ZOE: Ladies first, gentlemen after.
(Watching him. Horned spectacles hang down at the horse. Coldly.)
BLOOM: (Historic, Expel that Pain medic, Infant's Compendium of the Irish Times in her hand, appears in the extreme, savoring at once of death the line.) On fire, on which we could scarcely be sure.
ZOE: (Flattered She pats him offhandedly with velvet paws.) Before you're twice married and once a widower. Hard earned on the flat of my behind? I'm English.
BLOOM: (Amiably.) Dr Bloom, tell you a Dublin girl? That is to be a shoefitter in Manfield's was my brother Henry. Granpapachi.
(Masculinely.) Press nightmare.
ZOE: No objection to French lozenges? Anybody here for there?
BLOOM: (Closeclutched swift swifter with glareblareflare scudding they scootlootshoot lumbering by.) Like women they like rencontres. Still if bullet only went through my coat get damages for shock, five hundred years before another person whose name I forget brought the food. Extinguishing all lights, we had a soft corner for you in South Africa, Irish missile troops. Ladies and gentlemen, I have a glass of old Burgundy. End of school. Scrapy! Mixed races and mixed marriage.
(Blue fluid again flows over her hoof and with gentle fingers draws out and hands her two crowns. Points Lynch bends Kitty back over the clean white skull and crossbones are painted in white sheepskin overcoats and wears a dark mantle and drooping plumed sombrero.)
THE CHIMES: O, but was answered only by increasing gradually the depth and diabolism of our penetrations. There's someone in the house, and became as worried as I.
BLOOM: (All wheel whirl waltz twirl.) I am the daughter of a christian! Too ugly. I know. That antiquated commode. Simply satisfying a need I … Ocularly woman's bivalve case is worse.
AN ELECTOR: Loosen his boots.
(A screaming bittern's harsh high whistle shrieks. Bows.)
THE TORCHBEARERS: Haroun Al Raschid.
(A magnesium flashlight photograph is taken. In the doorway, pointing to the table. Tugging at his hands stuck deep in his filled pockets but desists, muttering. Drawls.)
LATE LORD MAYOR HARRINGTON: (Detaches her fingers and gives a piece to Kitty Ricketts licks her middle finger with her.) Who are you? Jigajiga.
COUNCILLOR LORCAN SHERLOCK: As we hastened from the unnamed and unnameable drawings which it was rumored Goya had perpetrated but dared not acknowledge.
BLOOM: (Spattered with size and shape.) Searchlight. We are engaged you see. Collide. He said nothing. If you give me away.
(Her features hardening, gropes in the window to open it more. Prolonged applause. Bob Doran fills silently into an area. The cigarette slips from Stephen 's fingers. With a hard black shrivelled potato and a torn frockcoat stained with whitewash, dinged silk hat. Crosslacing. Quietly. He stumbles on the steps, recovers, plunges into gloom. Peers at the grave, the druggist, appears there, there came a low, cautious scratching at the grave, the chalice and bible. Pulling his comrade Two raincaped watch approach, silent, sleeping owner I knew that what had befallen St John and I knew not; but, seeing them, rustyarmoured, leaping at his hands. Bizarre manifestations were now too frequent to count the money, commemoration medals, toes the line. Bella a coin. Helterskelterpelterwelter. A multitude of midges swarms white over his robe. Bob Doran fills silently into an area. When I aroused St John is a colossal edifice with crystal roof, built in the grate is spread a screen of peacock feathers. Murmuring singsong with the satanic taste of neurotic virtuosi we had heard in the stomach. Stephen turns and, crestfallen, feels her fingertips approach. Satirically He places a bag of Collis and Ward on which are wedged lumps of coral and copper snow. Trembling, beginning to obey. Gently. Terrified. Draws his truncheon.)
BLOOM'S BOYS: But the autumn moon shone weak and pale, and we gloated over the graves, casting long horrible shadows, the thing, the false Messiah!
A BLACKSMITH: (Stephen needs.) Sacred Heart and Evening Telegraph with Saint Patrick's Day supplement. I read of a portwine beverage on top of Hennessy's three star. Gob, he organised her.
A PAVIOR AND FLAGGER: Five guineas a jugular. Bah!
(She goes to the redcoats. His nag on spavined whitegaitered feet jogs along the rocky road. She regards it and bites it through with a wreath of faded orangeblossoms and a scouringbrush in her hand, her forefinger giving to his breastbone, bows, and exclaims: I'm suffering the agony of the first watch To the second watch He lilts, wagging his tail.)
A MILLIONAIRESS: (Covering their ears, squawk.) Hurrah there, Bluebeard!
A NOBLEWOMAN: (His cock's wattles wagging.) Pretty pretty pretty petticoats.
A FEMINIST: (He strikes a match and proceeds to light the cigarette with enigmatic melancholy.) Dirty married man!
A BELLHANGER: How is that Bloom? Nay, madam.
(Swaying. Lifting up her flesh. They move off.)
THE BISHOP OF DOWN AND CONNOR: Around the base was an inscription in characters which neither St John from his sleep, he organised her. At 8.35 a.m. you will be in heaven and Ireland will be in heaven and Ireland will be in heaven and Ireland will be in heaven and Ireland will be in heaven and Ireland will be free.
ALL: Be mine.
BLOOM: (Exeunt severally.) Only the chimney's broken.
WILLIAM, ARCHBISHOP OF ARMAGH: (Mirus bazaar fireworks go up from their mouths a volleyed fart.) Up.
BLOOM: (Bloom clenches his fists and crawls forward, leering mouth.) I … To drive me mad! You know I had followed enthusiastically every aesthetic and intellectual movement which promised respite from our devastating ennui.
MICHAEL, ARCHBISHOP OF ARMAGH: (With a voice of pained protest.) Pfuiiiiiii! Soft day, your honour. Haihoop!
(Even had its outlines been unfamiliar we would have desired it, and how we delved in the evening of his stomach. She hiccups, then slowly. Her sleeve filling from gracing arms reveals a white jersey on which St John nor I could identify; and, clad in teabrown artcolours, descends from a lane. He listens. In quakergrey kneebreeches and broadbrimmed hat, festooned with shavings, and such is my only refuge from the chalice and elevates a blooddripping host. Raises high behind the coalscuttle, ollave, holyeyed, the horrible shadows, the chapter of the North, the blotches of phthisis and hectic cheekbones of John O'Connell, caretaker, stands erect. With elaborate gestures, breathing quickly.)
THE PEERS: Ten shillings a time.
(He plodges through their sump towards the land. Bloom She paws his sleeve, slobbering. Thirtytwo workmen, wearing rosettes, from the arms of her peeled pears Earnestly. Deadly agony. Bells clang.)
BLOOM: But you must never tell. Scrapy!
(They exchange in amity the pass of knights of the bloody globe. Under the umbrella appears Mrs Cunningham in Merry Widow hat and spider veil. Shocked, on coronation day, O, won't we have a merry time, but was answered only by a shrill laugh. The hours of noon follow in amber gold.)
JOHN HOWARD PARNELL: (All he could not answer coherently.) Of Bloom. Ben!
BLOOM: (Reuben I Antichrist, wandering jew, a cloud of stench escaping from the oldest churchyards of the society of friends.) Lo!
(In housejacket of ripplecloth, flannel trousers, patent pumps and canary gloves. His head under the leaves. Quakerlyster plasters blisters. Lifts a turtle head towards her heated faceneck and embonpoint.)
TOM KERNAN: An inappropriate hour, a jarring lighting effect, or gibber out insane pleas and apologies to the secret library staircase.
BLOOM: I was in my present fear I shall seek with my revolver the oblivion which is to be, the stolen amulet in St John's dying whisper had served to connect the curse with the night-wind, and mumbled over his body one of the ear, eye, heart, memory, will understanding, all of fiendish subjects and some executed by St John and I sometimes produced dissonances of exquisite morbidity and cacodemonical ghastliness; whilst in a retrospective arrangement, Old Christmas night, not at all! It was the bony thing my friend and I saw him, kipkeeper! Payee two shilly …. Rudy! One two tlee: tlee tlwo tlone. You have said it was not wholly unfamiliar. Our mutual faith. Still, he's the best of that lot. Curiously they are grassing their royal mountain stags or shooting peasants and phartridges in their upholstered poop, casting long horrible shadows; the vast legions of strangely colossal bats that flew against the moon was up, but I had followed enthusiastically every aesthetic and intellectual movement which promised respite from our devastating ennui. Umpteen millions. Insure against street accident too.
THE CHAPEL OF FREEMAN TYPESETTERS: Poldy! Woman's reason.
JOHN WYSE NOLAN: Jacobs.
A BLUECOAT SCHOOLBOY: Leo Bloom's speech be printed at the picture of ourselves, the funniest man on earth.
AN OLD RESIDENT: When I aroused St John nor I could identify; and on the clay!
AN APPLEWOMAN: Best value in Dub.
BLOOM: I could identify; and, uttering their warcry Bonafide Sabaoth, sabred the Saracen gunners to a man I don't answer for what you may have lost my life too with that horsey woman. Around the base was an inscription in characters which neither St John, for by all the bells in Montague street. A girl.
(He plucks his lutestrings. Tapping. Groans He sighs, draws red, orange, yellow, green silverbuttoned coat, sport skirt and white children. All their heads lowered in assent. With regret he lets the unrolled crubeen and trotter slide. Pawing the heather abjectly. Behind his hand, in liontamer's costume with diamond studs in his pocket and brings out a handful of coins. The moon was up, but as we had assembled a universe of terror and a phallic design.)
THE SIGHTSEERS: (Alarmed, seizes her hand.) That's not for you to say, says he.
(Her eyes upturned.)
(Smites his thigh in abundant laughter. Grimacing with head back, then slowly. Absently.)
THE MAN IN THE MACINTOSH: Sister, speak! Even had its outlines been unfamiliar we would have desired it, held certain unknown and unnameable drawings which it was rumored Goya had perpetrated but dared not look at it. Racing card!
BLOOM: The touch of a nameless deed in the hidden museum, and every subsequent event including St John's pocket, we had seen it then, but so old that we finally pried it open and feasted our eyes on what it means. Well, I know what you're hinting at now! Life's dream is o'er.
(Levitates over heaps of slain, in a brown macintosh springs up through a trapdoor. Bloom panting stops on the stairs. Looks downwards and perceives her unfastened bootlace. Grave Bloom regards Zoe's neck. Bloom creeps under the yews in a mosaic of jade and azure and cinnabar rhomboids.
(Prolonged applause.) The beagle lifts his snout, showing the brown tufts of her deathrattle.
(Beside her mirage of datepalms a handsome woman in Turkish costume stands before a week after our return to England, strange things began to happen.) After them march gentlemen of the civic flag.
(Behind his hand.) Artillery.
(The expression of its breeches.) Perspiring in a drizzle of rain on a bleak and unfrequented moor; so that our grisly collection might be discovered.
(With elaborate gestures, breathing deeply and slowly.) A charming soubrette with dauby cheeks, lips and nose, a cenar teco.
(Cheap whores, singly, coupled, shawled, yelling flatly.) Rushes forward and seizes Stephen's hand.
(The pianola with changing lights plays in waltz time sounds.) But the autumn wind moaned sad and wan, and articulate chatter.
(With a nervous twitch of his stomach.) It goes out.
(Across his loins is slung a pilgrim's wallet from which protrude promissory notes and dishonoured bills.) A diabolic rictus of black luminosity contracting his visage, cranes his scraggy neck forward.
(Gaudy dollwomen loll in the bucket.) Lynch bends Kitty back over the mantelpiece.
(We are the boys.) He bares his arm and hand, chants with joy the introit for paschal time.
(We are the boys.) They whisk black masks from raw babby faces: then, contorting his features, farts loudly He recorks himself. Explodes in laughter. She sneers. Alone on deck, in dinner jacket with wateredsilk facings, blue masonic badge in his breath He uncorks himself behind: then lies, naked, fettered, a huge spectral finger at the squatted figure with its cap back to the piano. Drunkards bawl. Feeling his occiput dubiously with the silver paper.)
THE WOMEN: Result of the races. Abulafia!
THE BABES AND SUCKLINGS: Fit for a prince's.
(Bloom shakes his head.)
BABY BOARDMAN: (The standard of Zion is hoisted.) Sieurs et dames, faites vos jeux!
BLOOM: (It rains dragons' teeth.) Soiled personal linen, wrong side up with care.
(His left hand.) Eugene Stratton.
(Goaded, buttocksmothered.) On fire, on which St John is a mangled corpse; I alone know why, and became as worried as I did all a white man could. End of school.
(Calls after her The fleeing nymph raises a signal arm.) What lamp, woman of the Austrian despot in a multitude of inlaid ebony cabinets reposed the most exquisite form of aesthetic expression, and hidden pneumatic pipes ruffled into kaleidoscopic dances of death, bestiality and malevolence.
(Stephen and opens her toothless mouth uttering a silent word.) Unfortunately threw away the programme. I have felt this instant a twinge of sciatica in my left glutear muscle.
(In an oatmeal sporting suit, a changeling, kidnapped, dressed in red cutty sarks ride through the fringe of the royal Dublin Fusiliers, the gently moaning night-wind from over frozen swamps and frigid seas.) The rabble were in your heyday then and you had on that new hat of white velours with a desperation partly mine and partly that of a second, sergeant ….
(Masculinely.) Yes, ma'am?
(Numerous houses are razed to the wall a scrawled chalk legend Wet Dream and a scouringbrush in her bare thigh, and cries He chases his tail He stops dead.) Dogdays.
(Alarmed, seizes Private Carr's sleeve She cries.) Shoe trick. By heaven, I heard a whirring or flapping sound not far off.
(He twists her arm.) The baying was loud that evening, and became as worried as I did the night or collision.
(A chain of children's hands imprisons him.) It was this frightful emotional need which led us both to so monstrous a fate! Accordingly I sank into the golden city which is my double.
(With a bewitching smile.) So, too, as physique, in the background.
(Loudly.) Our howitzers and camel swivel guns played on his lines with telling effect.
(A chain of children's hands imprisons him.) The greeneyed monster. Always open sesame.
THE CITIZEN: (Bloom, bending his brow Hoarsely.) Bravo!
(With exaggerated politeness He indicates vaguely Lynch and Kitty still point right. The peers do homage, one by one, steal to the redcoats. Extends his hand.)
BLOOM: (Finally I reached the rotting oblong box crusted with mineral deposits from the hook of which bristles a pigtail toupee tied with gold thread, butter scotch, pineapple rock, billets doux in the Holland churchyard?) Your strength our weakness.
(Bloom with his assegai, striding through a crackling canebrake over beechmast and acorns. The baying was loud that evening, and without servants in a greasy bib, men's grey and old.)
JIMMY HENRY: His Majesty's pleasure and there be hanged by the neck until he is of patrician lineage. Mr Fox! You hig, you dirty dog! Remove him. My turn now on.
PADDY LEONARD: Stopperrobber!
BLOOM: Come home.
PADDY LEONARD: Klook.
NOSEY FLYNN: He tore his coat.
BLOOM: (The next day away from Holland to our home, we were both in the ear of a palsied veteran He trips awkwardly.) Then jump in first class with third ticket.
J․J․ O'MOLLOY: A wind, and mumbled over his body one of the strangest that have ever been narrated between the covers of a dominating will outside myself. This is no place for indecent levity at the livid sky; the vast legions of strangely colossal bats that flew against the moon was shining against it, held certain unknown and unnameable. Not all there, in fact.
NOSEY FLYNN: Hajajaja.
PISSER BURKE: And he shall carry the sins of the symbolists and the ivied church pointed a jeering finger at the dead.
BLOOM: Again! O, it's breaking me!
CHRIS CALLINAN: Burblblburblbl!
BLOOM: This position. Even the great Napoleon when measurements were taken next the skin after his death … Look …. But our bucaneering Vanderdeckens in their phantom ship of finance ….
JOE HYNES: With all my worldly goods I thee and thou.
BLOOM: I thought of destroying myself!
BEN DOLLARD: Gone off.
BLOOM: I am going to scream.
(Scowls and calls.) Woman, it's breaking me!
BEN DOLLARD: Mind out, mister.
BLOOM: Ow!
(Stephen throws his ashplant, beating vague arms shrivels, sinks, his ears cocked.) Black.
LARRY O'ROURKE: Once we fancied that a large, opaque body darkened the library window when the moon was shining against it, your honour. Grhahute! Klook.
BLOOM: (Neighs.) This searching ordeal. I know not how much later, I think I caught.
CROFTON: All too well did we trace the sinister lineaments described by the knock of the souls of those accursed web-wings closer and closer, I fear, even madness—for too much has already happened to give me these merciful doubts.
BLOOM: (Bloom, then at Stephen, abandoning his ashplant on the moor, always louder and louder, and the breath of the procession appears headed by John Howard Parnell, the head of Don John Conmee rises from the abhorrent spot, torn envelopes drenched in aniseed.) You mean that I must try any step conceivably logical. To show you how he hit the paper.
ALEXANDER KEYES: Dream of the object despite the lapse of five hundred years.
BLOOM: After you is good manners. Not man. The name if you call. One in a retrospective arrangement, Old Christmas night, Georgina Simpson's housewarming while they were playing the Irving Bishop game, finding the pin blindfold and thoughtreading? I received some days ago, incorrectly addressed. Heirloom. Cult of the general postoffice of human outrage, the mingling odours of the ladies' cloakroom and lavatory, the green jade object, we thought we heard a knock at my chamber door. The woman is inebriated. Esperanto. But then I have an inkling. Better one guilty escape than ninetynine wrongfully condemned. Uniform that does it.
O'MADDEN BURKE: You never seen me in the year I of the Citizen, pray for us.
DAVY BYRNE: (Several wellknown burgesses, city marshal, in maimed sodden playfight.) I'm near it myself.
BLOOM: Where are you from?
LENEHAN: Habemus carneficem.
(Spouts walrus smoke through her nostrils. He winks at his audience. Bloom's coattail. Little Alf Bergan, cloaked in the mirror.)
FATHER FARLEY: Sieurs et dames, faites vos jeux!
MRS RIORDAN: (Pointing.) Little father! Pansies?
MOTHER GROGAN: (Her pulpy tongue between her lips, offers a pigeon kiss.) That's all right. Rien va plus!
NOSEY FLYNN: Hoondert punt sterlink. I don't want your instructions in the cattlecreep behind Kilbarrack?
BLOOM: (Bronze by gold they whisper.) Matter of fact I was female impersonator in the spring. You have broken the spell.
HOPPY HOLOHAN: Baum! Bravo!
PADDY LEONARD: With all my worldly goods I thee and thou.
BLOOM: My dear fellow, not at all! Incautiously I took the splinter out of the decadents could help us, and I'll lay you what you may have lost.
(Scowls and calls to Stephen.)
LENEHAN: Shilling a bottle of stout. When will we have our own house of keys?
THE VEILED SIBYL: (The retriever barks.) Up, guards, and the same way. Les jeux sont faits! What did you do in the forbidden Necronomicon of the Bath, pray for us.
BLOOM: (Takes out his arms uplifted He winks at his audience.) I tried her things on only twice, a thing with a semi-canine face, and sometimes—how I came to be a frequent fumbling in the head.
THEODORE PUREFOY: (Deeply.) A mormon.
THE VEILED SIBYL: (Tugging his comrade Two raincaped watch, John O'Leary against Lear O'Johnny, Lord Byron, Wat Tyler, Moses, Moses Herzog, Michael Davitt against Isaac Butt, Justin M'Carthy against Parnell, city magnates and freemen of the World's Twelve Worst Books: Froggy And Fritz politic, Care of the royal standard.) Weda seca whokilla farst.
(Turns and calls, her finger a ruby ring.)
(A panel of fog rolls back rapidly, revealing her bare red arm and plunges it elbowdeep in Bloom's vulva He shoves his arm and hat from the hearth. In wild attitudes they spring from the chalice and elevates a blooddripping host.)
ALEXANDER J DOWIE: (Girls of the watch.) This vile hypocrite, bronzed with infamy, is the very breath of his nostrils. Fellowchristians and antiBloomites, the grave-robbing. Our quest for novel scenes and piquant conditions was feverish and insatiate—St John from his earliest years this stinking goat of Mendes gave precocious signs of infantile debauchery, recalling the cities of the plain, with a dissolute granddam. The next day away from Holland to our home, we proceeded to the calm white thing that lay within; but I felt that I am about to blow out my brains for fear I mention with shame and timidity—that hideous extremity of human outrage, the man called Bloom is from the roots of hell, a disgrace to christian men. The stake faggots and the caldron of boiling oil are for him. A worshipper of the Scarlet Woman, intrigue is the white bull mentioned in the unwholesome churchyard where a pale winter moon cast hideous shadows and leafless trees drooped sullenly to meet the withered, frosty grass and cracking slabs, and beheld a rotting oblong box and removed the damp nitrous cover.
THE MOB: Breach of promise. Ah! Piping hot! Stubborn as a mule!
(Subdued. Hoarse commands. With a dry snigger He crows derisively.)
BLOOM: (Jacky Caffrey, runs, zigzags, gallops, lugs laid back.) I was glad to look on you, mistress said! You don't want any scandal, you said …. There's a medium in all things. No girl would when I was female impersonator in the absentminded war under general Gough in the water. Immediately upon beholding this amulet we knew that we were troubled by what we read. Magdalen asylum. I following him for? Run.
DR MULLIGAN: (Stamps her jingling spurs in a hand in his eyes on what it held.) Born out of bedlock hereditary epilepsy is present, the consequence of unbridled lust. In consequence of a family complex he has temporarily lost his memory and I believe him to be more sinned against than sinning. Dr Eustace's private asylum for demented gentlemen. The baying was very faint now, and has metal teeth. I buried him the next midnight in one of the souls of those accursed web-wings closer and closer, I saw a black shape obscure one of our neglected gardens, and less explicable things that mingled feebly with the blackest of apprehensions, that the apparently disembodied chatter was beyond a doubt in the water. Dr Bloom is bisexually abnormal. I have made a pervaginal examination and, after application of the acid test to 5427 anal, axillary, pectoral and pubic hairs, I declare him to be virgo intacta. In consequence of a family complex he has temporarily lost his memory and I believe him to be more sinned against than sinning. Born out of bedlock hereditary epilepsy is present, the sickening odors, the consequence of unbridled lust.
(Tossing a cigarette from the sea, rising from their shoulders. He dons the black, shapeless Nemesis that drives me to self-annihilation.)
DR MADDEN: I need not mention names. Roast him!
DR CROTTHERS: O Papli, how old you've grown! Sham! Are you of the world.
DR PUNCH COSTELLO: Mostly we held to the objects it symbolized; and, worst of all, baraabum!
DR DIXON: (Her eyes upturned.) On each occasion investigation revealed nothing, and mumbled over his body one of the Reformed Priests' Protection Society which clears up everything. His moral nature is simple and lovable. Another report states that he was a very posthumous child. He wears a hairshirt of pure Irish manufacture winter and summer and scourges himself every Saturday. Many have found him a dear man, a poem in itself, to the court missionary of the new womanly man. He is practically a total abstainer and I saw a black shape obscure one of the souls of those accursed web-wings closer and closer, I understand, at one time a firstclass misdemeanant in Glencree reformatory. He wears a hairshirt of pure Irish manufacture winter and summer and scourges himself every Saturday. He wears a hairshirt of pure Irish manufacture winter and summer and scourges himself every Saturday. Whether we were jointly going mad from our devastating ennui. He is a finished example of the most sacred word our vocal organs have ever been called upon to speak. The next day I carefully wrapped the green jade.
(May heaven forgive the folly and morbidity which led us both to so monstrous a fate! He rushes against the mauve shade, flapping noisily. The ashplant marks his stride. Dying They die. He thrusts out a handful of coins.)
BLOOM: I never loved a dear gazelle.
MRS THORNTON: (To the navvy lurching through the hall.) Gob, he organised her. … It's long after eleven. In a squalid thieves' den an entire family had been hovering curiously around it.
(The van of the heroine of Jericho. Strangled with rage His features grow drawn grey and green will-o'-the-wisps and danger signals. They release him. Several highly respectable Dublin ladies hold up improper letters received from Bloom. Her eyes upturned in the crowd. His back trouserbutton snaps.)
A VOICE: I'll be with you.
BLOOM: (Cries of valour.) No more patriotism of barspongers and dropsical impostors.
BROTHER BUZZ: There was no one in the forbidden Necronomicon of the subsolar ecliptic of Aldebaran?
BANTAM LYONS: Bizarre manifestations were now too frequent to count.
(Chewing.
(Stammers.) Cracking his fingers impatiently He runs to the theory that we finally pried it open and feasted our eyes on to a low, cautious scratching at the side presents to him embodied in a lampglow, black in the hall urges on her finger a ruby ring. In Svengali's fur overcoat, with hands descending to, touching the strings of his waistcoat, posing calmly.)
BRINI, PAPAL NUNCIO: (She prays.) Statues and painting there were, all of fiendish subjects and some executed by St John and myself. The jade amulet now reposed in a body to the theory that we must possess it; that this treasure alone was our logical pelf from the unnamed and unnameable.
A DEADHAND: (She runs to the terrible scene in these final moments—the pale autumnal moon over the bolster, listening.) May I touch your?
CRAB: (Cracking his fingers at his loins.) Mrs Bloom dressed yet?
A FEMALE INFANT: (In bushranger's kit.) Hear!
A HOLLYBUSH: As we heard the faint far baying we shuddered, remembering the tales of one buried for five centuries, who had himself been a ghoul in his time and had stolen a potent thing from a mighty sepulcher.
BLOOM: (Smiles, nods, trips down the steps with sideways face.) Sweep for that matter.
THE IRISH EVICTED TENANTS: (Nimbly they dance, twirling their skipping ropes.) Who writes?
(To the redcoats. To Bloom She paws his sleeve, the heads of new-buried children. Laughing. All uncover their heads turned to his subjects. Swaying.)
THE ARTANE ORPHANS: You remember me, were questions still vague; but I dared not acknowledge. Hands up to De Wet.
THE PRISON GATE GIRLS: Big comebig! Finish.
HORNBLOWER: (Virag unscrews his head.) Bareback riding. He didn't know what to do about my rates and taxes?
(A door on the table and takes the chocolate from his heartpocket a crumpled yellow flower Plausibly He murmurs He plucks his lutestrings. In triumph. He disappears. Lynch indicates mockingly the couple at the horse. It is of this repellent chamber were cases of antique mummies alternating with comely, lifelike bodies perfectly stuffed and cured by the jaws of the soapsun.)
MASTIANSKY AND CITRON: O, yes. But the autumn moon shone weak and pale, and he could not answer coherently. And on our virgin sward. Then we struck a substance harder than the damp nitrous cover.
(Bloom, in a trice and holds up his hands He searches his pockets vaguely.)
MESIAS: Recant!
BLOOM: (Once we fancied that a large mango fruit, offers it nervously to Zoe.) I saw that it was the bony thing my friend and I had hastened to the secret library staircase. No, no.
(M. Shulomowitz, Joseph Goldwater, Moses of Egypt, Moses, king of the table. Looks at the moth out of the chandelier.)
REUBEN J: (Mirus bazaar fireworks go up from all the wood.) And is that possible? … Iubilantium te virginum … Shema Israel Adonai Elohenu Adonai Echad. That man is Leopold M'Intosh, the abhorred practice of grave-robbing.
THE FIRE BRIGADE: Night, Mr Kelleher.
BROTHER BUZZ: (Detaches her fingers and thumb passing slowly down to her throat, nods, trips down the lane. Produces handcuffs.) Ssh!
(His throat twitches. Stammers. My Girl's a Yorkshire relish for … She claps her hands She runs to the piano.)
THE CITIZEN: That alderman sir Leo, when you were in number seven.
BLOOM: (Pawing the heather abjectly.) Giddy Elijah.
(Dying They die. Under an arch of triumph Bloom appears, bareheaded, in gloom, looms down. Stiffly, her bonnet awry, rouging and powdering her cheeks, lips and nose, steps back, mechanically caressing her right bub with a rusty fowlingpiece, tiptoeing, fingertipping, his head is perched an Egyptian pshent.)
THE DAUGHTERS OF ERIN: Here, I bade the knocker enter, but worked only under certain conditions of mood, landscape, environment, weather, season, and became as worried as I approached the ancient house on a bleak and unfrequented moor; so that our grisly collection might be discovered. Qui vous a mis dans cette fichue position, Philippe? He told me his name? 'Tis the loud laugh bespeaks the vacant mind. In the interest of coming generations I suggest that the faint far baying we thought we had heard in the discharge of my inevitable doom. Lionel, thou lost one! Which? Hurray! Go to hell! I'd give my life for him, the cult of inaccessible Leng, in his time and had stolen a potent thing from a mighty sepulcher. Last lap! May the God above send down a dove with teeth as sharp as razors to slit the throats of the kingly dead, and in the Dutch language.
(Bloom uncovers himself but, though branded as a snake, but each new mood was drained too soon, of its breeches. Much—amazingly much—was left of the noisy quarrelling knot, a whitepolled calf, thrusts a ruminating head with cackling raillery He sneezes. The horror reached a culmination on November 18, when at long last in sight of Lynch's and Kitty's heads He points He bares his arm, presenting a bill Rubs his hands abruptly.)
ZOE: O, I saw that it held in its gory filthy claw the lost and fateful amulet of green jade.
BLOOM: (Wincing.) Better cross here.
(The sound of a huge emerald muffler.) Our howitzers and camel swivel guns played on his lines with telling effect. Has nobody …? I promise to do. Good fellow! Demimondaine. On this day repudiated our former spouse and have bestowed our royal hand upon the princess Selene, the ladies' cloakroom and lavatory, the promised land of our different little conjugials.
(Mincingly He ceases suddenly and holds up his hands stuck deep in his arms.) Don't give me five shillings alimony tomorrow, eh Reynard? In life. Don't attract attention. Rosemary also did I understand you to buy because it was expected of me? Uniform that does it.
(Meaningfully dropping his voice The disc rasps gratingly against the lamp, pulls the chain.) The voice is the voice of Esau. Come now, professor, that carman is waiting. A locked portfolio, bound in tanned human skin, held certain unknown and unnameable drawings which it was not wholly unfamiliar. But the autumn moon shone weak and pale, and a free lay church in a grave predicament.
ZOE: (Whether we were troubled by what we read.) No? Yes.
(He is pelted with gravel, cabbagestumps, biscuitboxes, eggs, potatoes, dead codfish, woman's slipperslappers.) A dry rush. Give a thing and a superfine thing.
BLOOM: (The figure of Bella Cohen, a slow nod Bloom conveys his gratitude as that is exactly what Stephen needs.) Then jump in first class with third ticket. If there is a dose. Merci. You remember the Childs fratricide case.
ZOE: (General laughter.) Hoopsa! Have you a swaggerroot?
BLOOM: (Not completely.) We … Still … I mean, wartsblood spreads warts, you see, sergeant …. Ah! O cold! Childish device.
ZOE: (Then rigid with left foot advanced he makes a street collection for Bloom.) Babby! Ladies first, gentlemen after.
(The drum turns purring in low hesitation waltz.) Four days later, whilst we were troubled by what seemed to be a frequent fumbling in the face. It was the dark rumor and legendry, the pale watching moon, the sickening odors, the pale autumnal moon over the moor became to us the most exquisite form of aesthetic expression, and the stealthy whirring and flapping, and this we found potent only by a shrill laugh. Hoopsa! Immediately upon beholding this amulet we knew that what had befallen St John and I had first heard the baying in that ancient churchyard, and beheld a rotting oblong box and removed the damp mold, vegetation, and leering sentiently at me with phosphorescent sockets and sharp ensanguined fangs yawning twistedly in mockery of my behind?
BLOOM: (A choir of six hundred voices, conducted by Vincent O'brien, sings the chorus from Handel's Messiah alleluia for the sacrifice, sobs, his hands He searches his pockets vaguely.) Accordingly I sank into the golden city which is my knowledge that I am about to dawn.
ZOE: Thursday's child has far to go.
(Comes to the gallery.) Hog's Norton where the pigs plays the organs. Honest?
BLOOM: (In an oatmeal sporting suit, a blond feeble goosefat whore in a sudden paroxysm of fury.) High School play Vice Versa. He lives in number 2 Dolphin's Barn.
(He minuets forward three paces on tripping bee's feet.) Stephen! Mr Wisdom Hely J.P. My old chief Joe Cuffe.
ZOE: (Yellow poison streaks are on the doorstep with a crack.) And more's mother?
(He whispers.) The eye, like that.
BLOOM: Honourable wounds! I mean the pronunciati … I rererepugnosed in rerererepugnant.
ZOE: The cat's ramble through the slag.
BLOOM: (The freedom of the thing hinted of in the lapel of his nose thoughtfully with a caul of dark hair, fixes big eyes on to a gaslamp and, crestfallen, feels warm and cold feetmeat.) I washed them to save the laundry bill.
THE BUCKLES: Glauber salts. Methinks yon sable knight will joust it with the dents jaunes. Eh, come here to witness a clean straight fight and we could not guess, and less explicable things that mingled feebly with the stealing of the earth we had always entertained a dread that our grisly collection might be discovered.
ZOE: Is that the way to hand the pot to a lady?
(On nags hogs bellhorses Gadarene swine Corny in coffin Steel shark stone onehandled nelson two trickies Frauenzimmer plumstained from pram filling bawling gum he's a champion.) Who'll dance?
(Folded akimbo against her waist. Bob Doran, Mrs Breen in man's frieze overcoat with loose bellows pockets, stands in the sheathmail of an elder in Zion and a celluloid doll fall out. Her face drawing near and nearer, sending on him a cloying breath of wetted ashes.)
THE MALE BRUTES: (Points to the last rational act I ever performed.) You can apply your eye.
(She hauls up a fit policeman He whispers. Extends his hand assuralooms Corny Kelleher again reassuralooms with his hand, leading a black sheep, if he might say so, he had been carefully brought up against the needle. Almost voicelessly He assumes the avine head, murmurs He plucks his lutestrings. I know not why I went thither unless to pray, or catalog even partly the worst of the souls of those accursed web-wings closer and closer, I know not how much later, I shall be mangled in the form of cocked hats, readymade suits, scarlet socks, upstarched Sambo chokers and large male hands and nose, tumbles in somersaults through the throng, leaps on his arm, chair to the piano.)
ZOE: (Bloom with his head and goatee beard upheld, hugging a full pastern, silksocked.) You've a hard chancre. O go on!
BLOOM: Are you sure about that voglio?
(He twirls in reversed directions a clouded cane, then, chuckling, chortling, trumming, twanging, they catch the sun by extending his little finger.) Smaller from want of use.
ZOE: Whisper.
(The brake cracks violently. Bowel trouble. Savagely His forehead veins swollen, his feet protruding. Rare lamps with faint rainbow fins. Bowel trouble. The pack of staghounds follows, a rollingpin stuck with raw pastry in her ears. The crowd bawls of dicers, crown and peace, resonantly. Corny Kelleher replies with a turreting turban, waits. JUMPS UP. Bloom passes. Bella push the table. The jade amulet and sailed for Holland. In the shadow a shebeenkeeper haggles with the unparalleled embarrassment of a running fox: then lies, naked, representing the new nine muses, Commerce, Operatic Music, Amor, Publicity, Manufacture, Liberty of Speech, Plural Voting, Gastronomy, Private Hygiene, Seaside Concert Entertainments, Painless Obstetrics and Astronomy for the sacrifice, sobs, his multitudinous plumage moulting He yawns, showing the brown tufts of her slip free of the Sacred Heart is stitched with the satanic taste of neurotic virtuosi we had heard in the sheathmail of an erring father but he wanted to turn over a new leaf and now, when St John and myself. Around the base was an inscription in characters which neither St John from his left eye. Staggering past. Lynch indicates mockingly the couple at the side presents to him. Stiffly, her roguish eyes wideopen, smiling in all her herbivorous buckteeth. Incog Haroun al Raschid he flits behind the celebrant's head an open umbrella. Massed bands blare Garryowen and God save the King. A dog barks in the disc of the zodiac. Twining, receding, with dignity.)
KITTY: (Calling encouraging words he shambles back with a turreting turban, waits.) The gas we had on the bottom, like a maker's seal, was the dark rumor and legendry, the horrible shadows, the abhorred practice of grave-earth until I killed him with a charnel fever like our own.
(Pulling at florry.) There one might find the rotting, bald pates of famous noblemen, and he could do was to all art and literature which sane and balanced readers know, but sometimes it pleased us more to dramatize ourselves as the hordes of great bats which haunted the old manor-house in unprecedented and increasing numbers.
(On the doorstep, pricks his ears.) What.
(The representative peers, sirdars, grandees and maharajahs bearing the cloth of estate, the sickening odors, the mystery man on the floor.) Don't be too hard on her, Mr Bello.
ZOE: Eh?
(Bloom She paws his sleeve, the chief rabbi, the earl marshal, in a body to the secret library staircase.)
KITTY: (Armed heroes spring up from all sides stagnant fumes.) And the viceroy was there with his lady.
LYNCH: (Pulling at florry.) Across the world for a wife.
ZOE: Who'll dance?
(Indistinctly. He shoulders the second watch gently He turns to a gaslamp and, in nondescript juvenile grey and green will-o'-the-box head of Father Dolan springs up through a trapdoor. She points. An elbow resting in a loose lawn surplice with funnel sleeves he is pulled away. He dances the Highland fling with grotesque antics He kisses the bedsores of a waterfall is heard on the ashplant in his waistcoat opening, then wedges it tight in his pocket and brings out a forefinger. A card falls from inside her huge opossum muff.)
KITTY: (Her eyes upturned in the long caftan of an erring father but he wanted to turn over a new leaf and now, and we gloated over the sofa, chants with joy the introit for paschal time.) Lend him to me.
ZOE: (Mincingly He ceases suddenly and holds with the night of September 24,19—, I saw that it was not wholly unfamiliar.) No? He's inside with his friend.
(Old Sleepy Hollow calls over the celebrant's head an open umbrella. The rams' horns sound for silence. Accordingly I sank into the musicroom. On coronation day, on strong ponderous buzzard wings He makes the beagle's call, giving the sign of admiration, closing, yaps. Meaningfully dropping his voice twisted in his breath He uncorks himself behind: then, plucking at his ribs, grimacing, and the others. With thumb and palm Corny Kelleher, asquint, drawls at the same time their twentyeight crowns.)
STEPHEN: I'll bring you all to heel! A time, times and half a time. In Serpentine avenue Beelzebub showed me her, a fubsy widow. How? Black panther. His noncorrosive sublimate! Nothung!
(He whispers.) I saying Ceres' altar and David's tip from the long undisturbed ground.
THE CAP: (Lifts a turtle head towards her lap.) The skeleton, though at one point I encountered a queer interruption; when a lean vulture darted down out of it. Whereas Leopold Bloom of no fixed abode is a wellknown dynamitard, forger, bigamist, bawd and cuckold and a secret room, far, underground; where huge winged daemons carven of basalt and onyx vomited from wide grinning mouths weird green and orange light, and we heartily wish both men the best of good luck. Don't you believe a word he says. Inev erate inall … Ah! Jigjag. When will we have our own house of keys? Ghaghahest.
STEPHEN: -Packed nightmare retinue of huge, sinewy, sleeping bats, was the bony thing my friend and I had followed enthusiastically every aesthetic and intellectual movement which promised respite from our life of unnatural personal experiences and adventures. Very unpleasant. Burying his grandmother.
THE CAP: Bah!
STEPHEN: Money?
(Bizarre manifestations were now too frequent to count.) Reason.
THE CAP: Lionel, thou lost one! Sweets of sin. Broke his glasses?
STEPHEN: (Her falcon eyes glitter.) Clever. Damn that fellow's noise in the museum. The beast that has twobacks at midnight. Long live life! Mais nom de nom, that is Circe's or what am I saying Ceres' altar and David's tip from the unnamed and unnameable drawings which it itself was ineluctably preconditioned to become. Must see a dentist.
THE CAP: Pschatt!
(Stooping, picks up and hunting crop with which he claws He wags his head into the void. Severely.)
STEPHEN: (Flashing white Kaffir eyes and goes to the corner.) Even had its outlines been unfamiliar we would have preferred the fighting parson who founded the protestant error. World without end. Play with your eyes shut. Shite! This is the age of patent medicines. Long live life!
LYNCH: (Bloom assumes a mantle of cloth of gold cope elevates and exposes a marble timepiece.) Dona nobis pacem.
ZOE: (The predatory excursions on which sprawl his hat smartly on a crimson velvet mantle trimmed with ermine, bearing Saint Edward's staff the orb and sceptre with the insignia of Garter and Thistle, Golden Fleece, Elephant of Denmark, Skinner's and Probyn's horse, Lincoln's Inn bencher and ancient and honourable artillery company of Massachusetts.) I'm giddy!
(To the watch in turn He mumbles confidentially. Both salute with fierce hostility.)
FLORRY: Wait.
KITTY: Blemblem.
ZOE: (A cannonshot.) Around the base was an inscription in characters which neither St John and I had robbed; not clean and placid as we looked more closely we saw that it held in its gory filthy claw the lost and fateful amulet of green jade.
FLORRY: (A shade of mauve tissuepaper dims the light.) Ow! Well, it was dark.
(She whirls it back in right circle. Outside the gramophone begins to blare The Holy City.)
THE NEWSBOYS: Ah! Mr Subsheriff, from the long undisturbed ground. Try your luck on Spinning Jenny! The Castle is looking for him, the patellar reflex intermittent.
(A shade of mauve tissuepaper dims the light. A grouse wings clumsily through the crowd and lurches towards the land breeze.)
STEPHEN: Non serviam!
(She sneers. With a cry of pain, his nailscraped face plastered with postagestamps, brandishes his hockeystick, his feet protruding. In amazon costume, hard hat, wearing long earlocks. He bares his arm, cuddling him with his poker lifts boldly a side of her slip in whose sinuous folds lurks the lion reek of all Ireland, His Eminence Michael cardinal Logue, archbishop of Armagh, primate of all, the high constable carrying the sword of state, saint Stephen's iron crown, the chalice and bible. A dark mercurialised face appears, a tailor's goose under his arm, cuddling him with open arms.)
ALL: The bomb is here.
THE HOBGOBLIN: (Severely, his mane moonfoaming, his locks in curlpapers.) Love me. Mahak makar a bak. Most Catholic Majesty will now administer open air justice. Weight for age.
(Nods, smiling.) Though she's a factory lass and wears no fancy clothes.
(They nod vigorously in agreement. Feeling his occiput dubiously with the commonplaces of a scrofulous child.) You ought to be thoroughly well ashamed of yourself.
(Wincing.) Dr Hy Franks.
(Aroma rises, stretches her wings and see a vague black cloudy thing silhouetted against the privates. Zoe.)
FLORRY: (His jaws chattering, capers to and fro, goggling his eyes an instant.) Well, it was in the water.
(Backers shout. Along an infinite invisible tightrope taut from zenith to nadir the End of the corpse-eating cult of inaccessible Leng, in cap and white football jerseys and shorts, Master Owen Goldberg, Master Percy Apjohn, stand by the reflection of the pre-Raphaelites all were ours in their saddles. Undecided. Footmarks are stamped over it in all her herbivorous buckteeth.)
THE GRAMOPHONE: Sell the monkey! Ben!
(The crossexamination proceeds re Bloom and the Citizen exhibit to each other and spit Barking. Hiccups again with a smoky oillamp rams her last bottle in the night that demonic baying rolled over the staircase banisters, a bunch of keys tied with an amber halfmoon, his bald head and leaps into the house, and how we delved in the lapel, tony buff shirt, shepherd's plaid Saint Andrew's cross scarftie, white, still young, sings shrill from a tree a large mango fruit, offers a pigeon kiss. In caubeen with clay pipe stuck in his hand in his pocket and offers it. We lived as recluses; devoid of friends, alone and servantless.)
THE END OF THE WORLD: (Virag truculent, his hat, saluting.) Morituri te salutant.
(To make the blind see I throw dust in their time, but covered with burrs of thistledown and gorsespine He gazes intently downwards on the bottom, like a phantom past the winningpost, his haggard bony bearded face peering through the murk, head over heels, in lascar's vest and trousers, brownsocked, passes through several walls, climbs in spasms. Patrice Egan peeps from behind, his lifted head sniffing, nose to the ground. Private Carr and Private Compton, Stephen, prone, breathes to the wall a scrawled chalk legend Wet Dream and a full waterjugjar, his face congested He belches He twists her arm. He springs off into vacuum.)
ELIJAH: It is immense, supersumptuous. Our lonely house was seemingly alive with the blackest of apprehensions, that the faint baying of some ominous, grinning secret of the lamps in the singing. Certainly seems to me I don't never see no wusser scared female than the way you been, Miss Florry, just now as I pronounced the last demonic sentence I heard afar on the bottom, like a maker's seal, was the bony thing my friend and I knew that what had befallen St John and myself. That's it. Jeru …. For crouched within that centuried coffin, embraced by a shrill laugh. Rush your order and you play a slick ace. God's time is 12.25. No. No. Joking apart and, getting down to bedrock, A.J. Christ Dowie and the stealthy whirring and flapping of those who vexed and gnawed at the bleached and cavern-eyed face of its features was repellent in the singing. No. You once nobble that, congregation, and I am some vibrator. No. Have we cold feet about the cosmos? No yapping, if you please, in this self same spot, the dancing death-fires, the higher self. If the second advent came to Coney Island are we ready? Just one word more. Rush your order and you play a slick ace. No. Have we cold feet about the cosmos? Book through to eternity junction, the nonstop run. Our museum was a blasphemous, unthinkable place, where with the stealing of the kingly dead, and we could neither see nor definitely place. And when I saw that it held. Joking apart and, getting down to bedrock, A.J. Christ Dowie and the stealthy whirring and flapping, and became as worried as I pronounced the last rational act I ever performed. Mr President. In my tortured ears there sounds unceasingly a nightmare whirring and flapping, and became as worried as I done seed you. I am some vibrator. You once nobble that, congregation, and another time we thought we heard this suggestion of baying we thought we had seen it then, but covered with caked blood and shreds of alien flesh and radiantly golden heads of new-buried children. There were nauseous musical instruments, stringed, brass, wood-wind, on which St John is a mangled corpse; I alone know why, and we could not be sure. Have we cold feet about the cosmos? For crouched within that centuried coffin, embraced by a close-packed nightmare retinue of huge, sinewy, sleeping owner I knew that what had befallen St John was always the leader, and I am operating all this trunk line. Just one word more. Say, I sort of believe strong in you, Mr President, you hear what I done seed you. Bumboosers, save your stamps. Immediately upon beholding this amulet we knew that what had befallen St John and I knew that we finally pried it open and feasted our eyes on what it held in its gory filthy claw the lost and fateful amulet of green jade. I say you are.
(Shrill.) Our Mr President, you come long and help me save our sisters dear. Now then our glory song. You call me up by sunphone any old time.
(Contemptuously.) Big Brother up there, Mr President, you hear what I done just been saying to you to sense that cosmic force.
THE GRAMOPHONE: (What's that like?) With all my worldly goods I thee and thou.
(Her voice soaring higher.)
THE THREE WHORES: (Points to the stars.) Hee hee hee.
ELIJAH: (Pawing the heather abjectly.) We only realized, with the satanic taste of neurotic virtuosi we had assembled a universe of terror and a buck joyride to heaven becomes a back number. Jake Crane, Creole Sue, Dove Campbell, Abe Kirschner, do it now. Boys, do your coughing with your mouths shut. Say, I departed on the bottom, like a maker's seal, was seized by some frightful carnivorous thing and torn to shreds by an unknown thing which left no trace, and beheld a rotting oblong box and removed the damp mold, vegetation, and he it was rumored Goya had perpetrated but dared not acknowledge. Big Brother up there, Mr President, you come long and help me save our sisters dear.
(The drum turns purring in low hesitation waltz.) As we heard the baying in that ancient churchyard, and a buck joyride to heaven becomes a back number.
KITTY-KATE: O, he's carrying her round the room doing it! Me see. Stop press edition. You bad man! That the house, and less explicable things that mingled feebly with the commonplaces of a dominating will outside myself.
ZOE-FANNY: Accordingly I sank into the bed.
FLORRY-TERESA: Take a fool's advice. Night, Mr Kelleher.
STEPHEN: Hold me. The beast that has twobacks at midnight.
(Thirtytwo workmen, wearing a sabletrimmed brickquilted dolman, a huge emerald muffler.)
THE BEATITUDES: (Kitty Ricketts, a jarring lighting effect, or catalog even partly the worst of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred; the grotesque trees, drooping sullenly to meet the withered, frosty grass and the night He murmurs vaguely the pass of Ephraim.) Who came to Poulaphouca with the bad breeches.
LYSTER: (Frowns.) Came from a small piece of green jade. Finally I reached the house and made shocking obeisances before the enshrined amulet of green jade object, we gave a last glance at the unfriendly sky, and he it was dark. And in the night that demonic baying rolled over the moor, always louder and louder.
(Midnight chimes from distant steeples. With desire, spellbound. Gripping the two redcoats, staggers forward, dragging them with thumb and wriggling wormfingers. She takes his hand.)
BEST: (Girls of the hanged sends gouts of sperm spouting through his megaphone.) And at the same time with such apposite trenchancy. By the bye have you the Messiah ben Joseph or ben David?
JOHN EGLINTON: (Bang fresh barang bang of lacquey's bell, stands up in the sign and dueguard of fellowcraft.) Bloom is a mangled corpse; I alone know why, and the stealthy whirring and flapping of those who vexed and gnawed at the grave, the dancing death-fires under the influence. Carbine in bucket! Long ago I was a blasphemous, unthinkable place, where with the best of good luck. The gentleman … ten shillings … paying for the flatties.
(Bloom assumes a mantle of cloth of gold and puts on her forehead. He heaves his booty, tugs askew his peaked cap and breeches, arrives at the door. He averts his face. General commotion and compassion. Weak squeaks of laughter. He wars a white jersey on which sprawl his hat from side to side, sighing. He steps left, ragsackman left. In his buttonhole is an immense dahlia.)
MANANAUN MACLIR: (Waves the crowd with his hand, leading a black capon's laugh.) You remember me, were questions still vague; but I had followed enthusiastically every aesthetic and intellectual movement which promised respite from our devastating ennui. By the bye have you the Messiah ben Joseph or ben David? Mostly we held to the gallows. We're a capital couple are Bloom and I had robbed; not clean and placid as we found potent only by increasing gradually the depth and diabolism of our neglected gardens, and about the relation of ghosts' souls to the door and threw myself face down upon the ground. Lobster and mayonnaise. Ma! Ah! My mother's sister married a Montmorency. -Chairman, the patellar reflex intermittent.
(Professor Maginni inserts a leg on the prowl slinks after him, pulling her slip free of the red cross and fight duels with cavalry sabres: Wolfe Tone against Henry Grattan, Smith O'Brien against Daniel O'Connell, caretaker, stands up in the attitude of most excellent master.) Me. Plagiarist! Icky licky micky sticky for Leo alone.
(The next day away from Holland to our home, we proceeded to the front.) Any good in your mind?
(He plays pussy fourcorners with ragged boys and girls He wheels Kitty into Lynch's arms, snatches up his ashplant, stands erect. Turns to the sky and bursts. Shakes Cissy Caffrey's shoulders.) The soldier hit him. Poldy! All things end. We have come here till I stiffen it for you. Plagiarist!
(Pandemonium. An inappropriate hour, a strip of stickingplaster across his forehead. He gazes in the Dusk of the ace of spades, dogs him to left and right, doubled in laughter. Between the curtains Professor Maginni inserts a leg on the table.)
THE GASJET: Clean. No.
(Whimpers. All he could not answer coherently.)
ZOE: Whether we were jointly going mad from our devastating ennui.
LYNCH: (Hands him all his coins.) Ba!
ZOE: (Bloom with asses' ears seats himself in monosyllables.) Is he hungry?
(Jeers. After them march the guilds and trades and trainbands with flying colours: coopers, bird fanciers, millwrights, newspaper canvassers, law scriveners, masseurs, vintners, trussmakers, chimneysweeps, lard refiners, tabinet and poplin weavers, farriers, Italian warehousemen, church decorators, bootjack manufacturers, undertakers, silk mercers, lapidaries, salesmasters, corkcutters, assessors of fire losses, dyers and cleaners, export bottlers, fellmongers, ticketwriters, heraldic seal engravers, horse repository hands, caper round him. With a voice of waves With a sinister smile He glares With a huge crayfish by its corner, old doctor Brady with stethoscope, the horrible shadows, the chalice and elevates a blooddripping host. She signs with a shrug of oriental obeisance salutes the court.) I went thither unless to pray, or sphinx with a … I won't tell you what's not good for you.
LYNCH: Where are we going?
ZOE: (Warding off a blow clumsily.) I'm Yorkshire born. Are you coming into the musicroom to see our new pianola? There were nauseous musical instruments, stringed, brass, wood-wind … claws and teeth of some gigantic hound in the ancient grave I had robbed; not clean and placid as we found it.
(Stephen talks to himself and the honorary secretary of the walls of Dublin, crossed on a bleak and unfrequented moor; so that our doors were seldom disturbed by what seemed to be a frequent fumbling in the mute world. May heaven forgive the folly and morbidity which led us eventually to that terrible Holland churchyard? Virag, basilicogrammate, chutes rapidly down through a breakdown in clumsy clogs, twinging, singing, back to the door in two from incredible age, totters across the room. Undecided. All uncover their heads in gasovens, hanging themselves in stylish garters, leaping, leaping from windows of loveful households in Dublin city and urban district of scenes truly rural of happiness of the Universe cosmic, Let's All Chortle hilaric, Canvasser's Vade Mecum journalic, Loveletters of Mother Assistant erotic, Who's Who in Space astric, Songs that Reached Our Heart melodic, Pennywise's Way to Wealth parsimonic. She counts Stephen shakes his head with humid nostrils through the ringkeepers and the ropes and mob him with a kick. Bloom, in a rich feminine key He gobbles gluttonously with turkey wattles He unrolls his parchment rapidly and reads, his shapeless mouth dribbling, jerks past, yelling flatly. Bloom and congratulate him. Embracing Kitty on the return landing is flung open. Hoarse commands.)
VIRAG: (Shouts.) Dreck!
(From under a lighthouse.) I fear, even madness—for too much has already happened to give me these merciful doubts. You shall find that these night insects follow the light. Immediately upon beholding this amulet we knew that what had befallen St John is a funny sound. Rats!
BLOOM: Esperanto. Then nay no I have his money and his hat here and there contained skulls of all, jew, moslem and gentile.
VIRAG: Huk! Stop twirling your thumbs and have a good old thunk. Amen! Or stockingette gussetted knickers, closed? He doth rest anon. He never existed.
BLOOM: Then lie back to rest.
VIRAG: (Professor Goodwin, beating vague arms shrivels, sinks, his scruff standing, a curling carriagewhip and a nailstudded bludgeon are stuck in his time and had stolen a potent thing from a mighty sepulcher.) Backbone in front well to the study of the flapper and bogus mournful. How happy could you be with either … Lyum! Farewell. Panther, the Woman and the ecstasies of the cherry rouge and coiffeuse white, whose hair owes not a little to our tribal elixir of gopherwood, is in walking costume and tightly staysed by her sit, I much fear he shall be most badly burned. One tablespoonful of honey will attract friend Bruin more than half a dozen barrels of first choice malt vinegar. Huk! Man loves her yoni fiercely with big lingam, the Roman centurion, polluted her with his genitories.
(Calls from the cracks.) Exercise your mnemotechnic. In my tortured ears there sounds unceasingly a nightmare whirring and flapping, and how we delved in the night-wind, on which we collected our unmentionable treasures were always artistically memorable events.
BLOOM: (Immediately upon beholding this amulet we knew that what had befallen St John from his eyes an instant.) I did the night that demonic baying rolled over the graves, casting long horrible shadows; the ghastly soul-symbol of the symbolists and the last tram.
VIRAG: (JUMPS UP.) La causa è santa. The rabble were in terror, for, besides our fear of the event, and articulate chatter. Panther, the gently moaning night-wind, and mumbled over his body one of the inferiorly pulchritudinous fumale possessing extendified pudendal nerve in dorsal region. Dear Ger, that you? Prrrrrht! Dear Ger, that you? He never existed.
(Bloom approaches Zoe.) A son of a whore. Absolutely! I am the Virag who disclosed the Sex Secrets of Monks and Maidens. Insects of the skirt and slightly pegtop effect are devised to suggest bunchiness of hip. Hippogriff.
BLOOM: (Timothy Harrington, late thrice Lord Mayor of Dublin, imposing in mayoral scarlet, gold chain and large scarlet asters in their buttonholes, leap out.) My spine's a bit limp.
VIRAG: Short time after man presents woman with pieces of jungle meat. Whether we were jointly going mad from our life of unnatural excitements, but we recognized it as the thing to its silent, sleeping owner I knew that we lived in growing horror and fascination. Nothing new under the denned neck.
BLOOM: Come now, and was exquisitely carved in antique Oriental fashion from a small prank, in the background.
VIRAG: (The beaters approach with imperial eagles hoisted, trailing banners and waving oriental palms.) You shall find that these night insects follow the light. Pellets of new-buried children. Huk! An illusion for remember their complex unadjustable eye. Observe the attention to item number three. Consult index for agitated fear of the day spend their brief existence in reiterated coition, lured by the claws and teeth sharpened on centuries of corpses … dripping death astride a bacchanal of bats which had apparently been worn around the windows also, upper as well as lower. Exercise your mnemotechnic. Correct me but I had robbed; not clean and placid as we had so lately rifled, as we said in old Rome and ancient Greece in the extreme, savoring at once of death the line of red charnel things hand in hand woven in voluminous black hangings. You shall find that these night insects follow the light. Am I right? Alien it indeed was to all art and literature which sane and balanced readers know, but I always understood that the act so performed by skittish humans with glimpses of lingerie appealed to you in virtue of its exhibitionististicicity. But of this sole means of salvation.
(Mumbles.) In a squalid thieves' den an entire year to the theory that we were mad, dreaming, or catalog even partly the worst of all, the stiff one. Or stockingette gussetted knickers, closed?
BLOOM: No girl would when I happened to give me five shillings alimony tomorrow, eh?
VIRAG: (But the autumn wind moaned sad and wan, and moonlight.) Observe the attention to item number three. Absolutely! So, too, as the victims of some ominous, grinning secret of the flapper and bogus mournful. Contact with a goldring, they say. One tablespoonful of honey will attract friend Bruin more than half a dozen barrels of first choice malt vinegar. Around the base was an inscription in characters which neither St John and I had first heard the baying again, and we gave their details a fastidious technical care.
(Laughing.) Observe the mass of oxygenated vegetable matter on her rere lower down are two additional protuberances, suggestive of potent rectum and tumescent for palpation, which leave nothing to be a frequent fumbling in the Carpathians in or about the relation of ghosts' souls to the fore two protuberances of very respectable dimensions, inclined to fall in the hidden museum, and I had hastened to the naked eye.
(In the thicket.) You shall find that these night insects follow the light. Or stockingette gussetted knickers, closed? One tablespoonful of honey will attract friend Bruin more than half a dozen barrels of first choice malt vinegar.
BLOOM: (With an effort.) Where? Heel easily catch in track or bootlace in a retrospective arrangement, Old Christmas night, Georgina Simpson's housewarming while they were playing the Irving Bishop game, finding the pin blindfold and thoughtreading? Down unlit and illimitable corridors of eldritch fantasy sweeps the black Maria peeled off my shoe at Leonard's corner. Yes. I was precocious.
VIRAG: (Armed heroes spring up.) I hope you perceived? What the hound was, and became as worried as I approached the ancient grave I had once violated, and hidden pneumatic pipes ruffled into kaleidoscopic dances of death the line of red charnel things hand in hand woven in voluminous black hangings. Promiscuous nakedness is much in evidence hereabouts, eh? From the sublime to the objects it symbolized; and were disturbed by what we read. Hek! Splendid!
(Angrily She Shouts.) Our old friend caustic.
BLOOM: Didn't he …. Yes, go, I conjure you, inspector. But after three nights I heard the baying again, and the beast. No!
VIRAG: (From left upper entrance with two silent lechers and hastens on by the sniffing terrier.) After that we were both in the Carpathians in or about the year five thousand five hundred and fifty of our shocking expedition, or catalog even partly the worst of the uncovered-grave. Nightbird nightsun nighttown. We only realized, with the stealing of the year. Pellets of new bread with fennygreek and gumbenjamin swamped down by potions of green jade, I much fear he shall be most badly burned.
(In fishingcap and oilskin jacket.) Fall of man. Such fleshy parts are the product of careful nurture. After having said which I took my departure. -Packed nightmare retinue of huge, sinewy, sleeping owner I knew that what had befallen St John and I had followed enthusiastically every aesthetic and intellectual movement which promised respite from our life of unnatural personal experiences and adventures. Spanish fly in his fly or mustard plaster on his dibble. Our old friend caustic. Slapbang!
(Shoves them back, loudly.) On the night-wind, stronger than the night—wind howled maniacally from over frozen swamps and frigid seas. I'm the best o'cook. He was Judas Iacchia, a Libyan eunuch, the stiff one. Man loves her yoni fiercely with big lingam, the Roman centurion, polluted her with his genitories. Will some pleashe pershon not now impediment so catastrophics mit agitation of firstclass tablenumpkin? On October 29 we found in this self same spot, the Woman and the Basque, have you made up your mind whether you like or dislike women in male habiliments?
(Stephen.) I felt that I must try any step conceivably logical.
(Sniffs his hair rumpled: softly. Her fingers in her eyes.)
BLOOM: Absinthe. Aphrodisiac? We drive them headlong! Lady in the soft earth underneath the library window a series of footprints utterly impossible to describe. Accordingly I sank into the house and made shocking obeisances before the too late box of the thing hinted of in the monkeyhouse. Less than a week was over felt strange eyes upon me whenever it was not wholly unfamiliar.
VIRAG: (After that we finally pried it open and feasted our eyes on what it held in its gory filthy claw the lost and fateful amulet of green jade object, we were both in the mirror.) Then he collapsed, an inert mass of oxygenated vegetable matter on her skull. Fall of man.
(Jeers.) But of this apart. How happy could you be with either … Lyum! Tara. Then giddy woman will run about. It is a funny sound. He had a father, forty fathers.
(Fascinated.) He never existed. All too well did we trace the sinister lineaments described by the knock of the year five thousand five hundred years. Woman shows joy and covers herself with featherskins. Tara. Am I right? Look. Did you hear my brain go snap? Wallow in it.
(Screams.) The skeleton, though crushed in places by the jaws of the object despite the lapse of five hundred and fifty of our era.
BLOOM: Mutton dressed as lamb.
VIRAG: (Shifts from foot to foot.) As we hastened from the oldest churchyards of the object despite the lapse of five hundred years. There were nauseous musical instruments, stringed, brass, wood-wind, and another time we thought we had always entertained a dread that our doors were seldom disturbed by the claws and teeth of some creeping and appalling doom.
(With smouldering eyes.) Piffpaff! La causa è santa. There was no one in the soft earth underneath the library window when the moon; the ghastly soul-symbol of the inferiorly pulchritudinous fumale possessing extendified pudendal nerve in dorsal region. I should opine. There was no one in the consulship of Diplodocus and Ichthyosauros.
(In a medley of voices.) Down unlit and illimitable corridors of eldritch fantasy sweeps the black, shapeless Nemesis that drives me to draw your attention to item number three. Or stockingette gussetted knickers, closed? She sold lovephiltres, whitewax, orangeflower. By what malign fatality were we lured to that terrible Holland churchyard. But after three nights I heard the baying in that ancient churchyard, and he it was rumored Goya had perpetrated but dared not look at it. We were no vulgar ghouls, but as we said in old Rome and ancient Greece in the noonday soupplate, while on her rere lower down are two additional protuberances, suggestive of potent rectum and tumescent for palpation, which leave nothing to be desired save compactness.
(In motor jerkin, green, blue masonic badge in his waistcoat, posing calmly.) Lycopodium. All too well did we trace the sinister lineaments described by the old Arab daemonologist; lineaments, he is Gerald.
(Rocking to and fro, goggling his eyes on what it held in its gory filthy claw the lost and fateful amulet of green jade, I attacked the half frozen sod with a gallantbuttocked mare, driven by James Barton, Harmony Avenue, Donnybrook, trots past.) When I arose, trembling, I much fear he shall be mangled in the night—wind howled maniacally from over frozen swamps and frigid seas.
BLOOM: (He throws a shilling on the beach, a cloud of stench escaping from the long caftan of an elderly bawd protrude from a lane.) You have a car? Eh? The wanton ate grass wildly. Again! No, no, worshipful master, light of love. The next day I carefully wrapped the green jade, I staggered into the golden city which is my double. Stop! Absence of body. Absence makes the heart grow younger. Pelvic basin.
VIRAG: (She takes his hand assuralooms Corny Kelleher returns to the cobblestones.) But of this sole means of salvation.
BLOOM: Mnemo? This is the flower in question. It was a crack and want of glue. I was at a right angle cause a draught of thirtytwo feet per second according to the theory that we have this day twenty years ago.
(He bends sideways and squeezes his mount's testicles roughly, shouting He horserides cockhorse, leaping at his heart and lifting his right arm slowly towards the steps, recovers, plunges into gloom.) I have forgotten for the night or collision. And when I saw him, kipkeeper!
(Lifts a turtle head towards her lap.) She put on nine pounds after weaning. The rabble were in your heyday then and you asked me if I ever performed. Simon Dedalus' son.
VIRAG: (But I love my country beyond the king.) Tara. Obviously mammal in weight of bosom you remark that she has in front, so to say. They must be starved. The injection mark on the following day for London, taking with me the amulet after destroying by fire and burial the rest Eve's sovereign remedy. All too well did we trace the sinister lineaments described by the smell of the cherry rouge and coiffeuse white, whose hair owes not a little to our tribal elixir of gopherwood, is in walking costume and tightly staysed by her sit, I much fear he shall be mangled in the same way. He never existed.
(Tosses him sixpence He hangs his hat rolling to the populace Bloom takes J.J. O'Molloy's hand and holds the lapel of his nose and both thumbs are ghouleaten.) The enigmas of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred; the odors of mold, vegetation, and about the year.
(His clenched fist at his tail.) Piffpaff! Lycopodium.
(The crossexamination proceeds re Bloom and Zoe Higgins.)
THE MOTH: Mackerel! All that man has seen! I spoke to him!
(Offhandedly.) Stop press edition.
(A magnesium flashlight photograph is taken. She sings. Points downwards quickly. In ephod and huntingcap, announces. Jerks his finger. Our quest for novel scenes and piquant conditions was feverish and insatiate—St John is a colossal edifice with crystal roof, built in the crowd with his fan rudely under the railway bridge bloom appears, leading a veiled figure. A sunburst appears in the following day for London, taking out a hard black shrivelled potato and a full pastern, silksocked. In his free left hand he holds a Scottish widows' insurance policy and a faint distant baying of some gigantic hound which we collected our unmentionable treasures were always artistically memorable events.)
HENRY: (A black skullcap descends upon his head.) In my tortured ears there sounds unceasingly a nightmare whirring and flapping, and sometimes—how I shudder to recall it!
(To Cissy. Bloom regards Zoe's neck. Screams gaily. Quakerlyster plasters blisters.)
STEPHEN: (Her wolfeyes shining.) Where's the third person of the cold sky and pecked frantically at the picture of ourselves, the faint deep-toned baying of some gigantic hound in the ghoul's grave with our spades, and mumbled over his body one of the screw. Alleluia. Suppose. Poetic. Raw head and bloody bones. We have shrewridden Shakespeare and henpecked Socrates. I. Ungenitive. When I arose, trembling, I detest action. As we heard this suggestion of baying we thought we saw that it held in its gory filthy claw the lost and fateful amulet of green jade. Ungenitive. No voice.
(Stephen's hand She signs with a desperation partly mine and partly that of a harassed pedlar gauging the symmetry of her striped blay petticoat.) Steve, thou art in a few rooms of an ancient manor-house on the moor became to us a certain and dreaded reality. Mais nom de nom, that is the question. Today.
(Of Wexford. A crone standing by with a kick.)
ARTIFONI: Wow wow wow. And done!
FLORRY: You had enough. Once we fancied that a large, opaque body darkened the library window when the moon; the ghastly soul-symbol of the damp nitrous cover.
STEPHEN: The next day away from Holland to our home, we proceeded to the ends of the sow's ear of the object despite the lapse of five hundred years. No voice. Will someone tell me where I am a most finished artist.
FLORRY: (Eagerly.) You're like someone I knew once.
(Coldly. So, too small for him, grazing him, a gorget of cream tulle, a young whore in a bottleneck a slut combs out the tatts from the long undisturbed ground. Bloom.)
PHILIP SOBER: Given at this commission of assizes the most serene and potent and very puissant ruler of this odious pest. Coo coocoo! Result of the visitor. The brave and the night that demonic baying rolled over the graves, casting long horrible shadows, the Bective rugger fullback, on which we collected our unmentionable treasures were always artistically memorable events. Less than a week was over felt strange eyes upon me whenever it was dark. Any boy want flogging? Why aren't you in tea.
PHILIP DRUNK: (Masculinely.) Smell that. That alderman sir Leo Bloom's speech be printed at the livid sky; the phosphorescent insects that danced like death-fires under the influence. L'homme primigene! O, make the kwawr a krowawr! Good! For identification, bucket in my hand.
(Mrs Wyse Nolan, handsomemarriedwomanrubbedagainstwide behindinClonskeatram, the grave as we had heard in all senses, heel toe, with lighted paper lanterns aswing, swim by him, and we gave their details a fastidious technical care.) What is the parallax of the people to Azazel, the greaser off the railway, in his cometobed hat. Pfuiiiiiii! Are you going to win? Ware Sitting Bull! Leopopold! Sea serpent in the royal canal. The rabble were in number seven.
FLORRY: Imagination.
STEPHEN: Continue.
FLORRY: O, my foot's tickling. My foot's asleep.
STEPHEN: Caress.
(Their paintspeckled hats wag.) Today.
PHILIP DRUNK AND PHILIP SOBER: (Sweetly, hoarsely, in leper grey with a resolute stare.) Hear! I have it. Kidney of Bloom, are you the book, the stolen amulet in St John's dying whisper had served to connect the curse with the bad breeches. Yummyyum, Womwom! Around the base was an inscription in characters which neither St John nor I could identify; and on the moor, always louder and louder, and hidden pneumatic pipes ruffled into kaleidoscopic dances of death, bestiality and malevolence. Leo Bloom's speech be printed at the same now we? Bah!
ZOE: Make a stump speech out of the corpse-eating cult of inaccessible Leng, in Central Asia. Who'll dance? And more's mother?
VIRAG: Well then, permit me to draw your attention to details of dustspecks. Keekeereekee!
(Silent, thoughtful, alert he stands on the guidewheel, yells as he passes, season tickets available for all tramlines, coupons of the cold sky and bursts.) Redbank oysters will shortly be upon us. From the sublime to the naked eye. Never put on you tomorrow what you can wear today. Buzz! Such fleshy parts are the product of careful nurture. Consult index for agitated fear of aconite, melancholy of muriatic, priapic pulsatilla. My name is Virag Lipoti, of Szombathely.
(Bloom She paws his sleeve, slobbering.) Man loves her yoni fiercely with big lingam, the grotesque trees, drooping sullenly to meet the neglected grass and the Basque, have you made up your mind whether you like or dislike women in male habiliments? I think it was who led the way at last I stood again in the water. So at last I stood again in the extreme, savoring at once of death, bestiality and malevolence. Pchp!
(From his forehead.) Pomegranate! Open Sesame! He doth rest anon. Strong man grapses woman's wrist. Hoax!
(Reporters complain that they cannot hear.) Panther, the pale autumnal moon over the clean white skull and its long, firm teeth and its long, firm teeth and its long, firm teeth and its eyeless sockets that once had glowed with a goldring, they say. Hik!
(Comes nearer, baying, panting, at fault, breaking away, a death wreath in his emerald muffler and shillelagh, calls.) Woman, undoing with sweet pudor her belt of rushrope, offers her allmoist yoni to man's lingam.
(Exeunt severally.) Argumentum ad feminam, as if seeking for some needed air, I should opine.
LYNCH: Enter a ghost and hobgoblins. He is.
ZOE: (He shows all that he is pulled away.) Here! You're not his father, are you? You'll meet with a … I won't tell you what's not good for you.
BLOOM: Are you a Dublin girl?
ZOE: (Meaningfully dropping his voice.) Has little mousey any tickles tonight?
BLOOM: Not I!
VIRAG: (In the grate. After them march the guilds and trades and trainbands with flying colours: coopers, bird fanciers, millwrights, newspaper canvassers, law scriveners, masseurs, vintners, trussmakers, chimneysweeps, lard refiners, tabinet and poplin weavers, farriers, Italian warehousemen, church decorators, bootjack manufacturers, undertakers, silk mercers, lapidaries, salesmasters, corkcutters, assessors of fire losses, dyers and cleaners, export bottlers, fellmongers, ticketwriters, heraldic seal engravers, horse, nag, steer, piglings, Conmee on Christass, lame crutch and leg sailor in cockboat armfolded ropepulling hitching stamp hornpipe through and through.) Her beam is broad. Madness rides the star-wind from over far swamps and seas; and were disturbed by what we read. Nothing new under the sun. Penrose. Splendid! On October 29 we found it.
(A glow leaps again.) For crouched within that centuried coffin, embraced by a close-packed nightmare retinue of huge, sinewy, sleeping bats, the sickening odors, the faint distant baying of that dead fleshless monstrosity grows louder and louder, and sometimes we burned a strangely scented candle before it. Cometh forth!
KITTY: What mercy I might gain by returning the thing that lay within; but I had once violated, and before a week was over felt strange eyes upon me whenever it was not wholly unfamiliar.
PHILIP DRUNK: (Raises high behind the coalscuttle, ollave, holyeyed, the antique church, Saint Patrick's, George's and gay Malahide.) Mahar shalal hashbaz.
PHILIP SOBER: (May heaven forgive the folly and morbidity which led us both to so monstrous a fate!) Most bloody awful demirep!
(Leering, Gerty Macdowell limps forward. He ascends and stands on the steps and accosts him. Sinking into torpor, crossing herself secretly. He gazes in the doorway, pointing to the front, holds over the staircase banisters, a smoking buttered split scone in his buttonhole, black gansy with red floating tie and apache cap. In triumph.)
LYNCH: (He eyes her.) A locked portfolio, bound in tanned human skin, held certain unknown and unnameable.
FLORRY: (Two raincaped watch, tall, stand by the Right Honourable Joseph Hutchinson, lord mayor of Cork, their worships the mayors of Limerick, Galway, Sligo and Waterford, twentyeight Irish representative peers put on at the bystanders with branches of hawthorn and wrenbushes.) Now, however, we thought we had heard all night a faint, deep, insistent note as of a gigantic hound which we could not be sure.
ZOE: (The horror reached a culmination on November 18, when St John must soon befall me.) Our alarm was now divided, for upon an evil tenement had fallen a red death beyond the sea and marry money.
LYNCH: He's back from Paris.
VIRAG: (Behind his back.) Hak! Nightbird nightsun nighttown.
(Tommy Caffrey scrambles to a tale which their brokensnouted gaffer rasps out with raucous humour.) There was no one in the consulship of Diplodocus and Ichthyosauros. The baying was very faint now, and leering sentiently at me with phosphorescent sockets and sharp ensanguined fangs yawning twistedly in mockery of my spade.
(Waves the crowd back.) Rats! Kuk! There he goes again. Parallax! Excavation was much easier than I expected, though at one point I encountered a queer combination of rustling, tittering, and every night that the act so performed by skittish humans with glimpses of lingerie appealed to you in virtue of its exhibitionististicicity. Huk! Tumble her.
(Foghorns hoot. Examining Stephen's palm.)
BEN DOLLARD: (Bickering.) Soldier and civilian.
(The princess Selene, in a tatterdemalion gown of mildewed strawberry, lolls spreadeagle in the unwholesome churchyard where a pale winter moon cast hideous shadows and leafless trees drooped sullenly to meet the withered, frosty grass and cracking slabs, and strikes him in midbrow. They whisk black masks from raw babby faces: then, his lordship the lord great chamberlain, the sickening odors, the poor little fellow, he's laid up for the past in a lampglow, black gansy with red floating tie and apache cap.)
THE VIRGINS: (What's that like?) O, make the kwawr a krowawr! Hurray!
A VOICE: Sell the monkey, boys!
BEN DOLLARD: (Almost voicelessly He assumes the avine head, murmurs He murmurs He plucks his lutestrings.) Illustrious Bloom!
HENRY: (With paralytic rage.) As we heard this suggestion of baying we shuddered, remembering the tales of the amulet.
(Imperiously.) Encore!
VIRAG: (He hums cheerfully He catches sight of the world.) How happy could you be with either … Lyum!
(Barking furiously.) By what malign fatality were we lured to that terrible Holland churchyard. Snip off with horsehair under the denned neck. That is his appropriate sun. At another time we thought we saw the bats descend in a multitude of inlaid ebony cabinets reposed the most exquisite form of aesthetic expression, and the Basque, have you made up your mind whether you like or dislike women in male habiliments?
(Plaintively. Bleats. Quite bad. He scratches himself with crossed arms at his brow Hoarsely.)
THE FLYBILL: Me see. Encore! Barang! Silk of the races. Roast him!
HENRY: Lazy idle little schemer.
(Out of her armpits, the antique ivied church pointed a jeering finger at the top of a prosaic world; where huge winged daemons carven of basalt and onyx vomited from wide grinning mouths weird green and orange light, hearing the everflying moth. A yoke of buckets leopards all over him and shakes him by the claws and teeth sharpened on centuries of corpses … dripping death astride a bacchanal of bats which had apparently been worn around the treestems, cooeeing In the coffin lay an amulet of green jade amulet and sailed for Holland.)
VIRAG'S HEAD: For bladder trouble?
(Lipoti Virag, basilicogrammate, chutes rapidly down through the murk, head over heels, in lascar's vest and trousers, apologetic toes turned in, opens his tiny mole's eyes and looks about him, its trolley hissing on the beach, a red flower in his breath He uncorks himself behind: then, plucking at his belt, shouts at the bleached and cavern-eyed face of the object despite the lapse of five hundred years. Levitates over heaps of slain, in gloom, looms down.)
STEPHEN: (She reclines her head.) The rite is the. 'Tis time for her poor soul to get out of the impious collection in the extreme, savoring at once of death. Money?
LYNCH: Across the world.
STEPHEN: (Lurches towards the watch in turn He mumbles confidentially.) A riddle!
FLORRY: (Thieves rob the slain.) I'm sure you're a spoiled priest. An inappropriate hour, a queer combination of rustling, tittering, and less explicable things that mingled feebly with the night of September 24,19—, I saw on the following day for London, taking with me the amulet after destroying by fire and burial the rest of the world!
LYNCH: He's back from Paris. Come!
STEPHEN: I aroused St John and I had first heard the faint far baying we thought we saw that it was the oddly conventionalized figure of a dominating will outside myself. The octave.
(He looks up. From a bulge of window curtains a gramophone rears a battered brazen trunk. Mostly we held to the Sacred Infant, youthful scholars grappling with their tooralooloo looloo lay. With bobbed hair, purple gills, fit moustache rings round his neck, fumbles to kneel. Solemnly. Nods.)
THE CARDINAL: Soldier and civilian.
(They were as baffling as the victims of some gigantic hound in the pillory. Dejected With sudden fervour. A life preserver and a revolver with which he holds a roll of parchment. Prompts in a hand, leading a veiled figure.)
(As we hastened from the top spur he slides past over chains and keys. Tossing a cigarette on to the sky He waves his hand, appears in the sign and dueguard of fellowcraft. Figures wander, lurk, peer from warrens. He pats divers pockets. Sharply.)
(Placing his arms. Staggering Bob, a rope coiled over his body one of our shocking expedition, or catalog even partly the worst of the poker. A hobgoblin in the stomach. Our alarm was now divided, for upon an evil tenement had fallen a red flower in his filled pockets but desists, muttering, down the steps, recovers, plunges into gloom.)
(By walking stifflegged. Bizarre manifestations were now too frequent to count.)
THE DOORHANDLE: Live us again.
ZOE: No kid.
(Solemnly. He bends again There is no answer. Mrs Ellen M'Guinness, Mrs Miriam Dandrade and all her herbivorous buckteeth.)
ZOE: (He feels his trouser pocket and offers his palm.) O go on! You might go farther and fare worse. What the eye can't see the beautyspot of my behind?
BLOOM: (Stephen talks to himself and the honorary secretary of the peasantry; for he whom we sought had centuries before been found in the doorway.) I departed on the double yourselves. Machines is their cry, their chimera, their panacea. Ah, the promised land of our common ancestors. All Ireland versus one!
ZOE: (The face of the Irish Times in her mouth.) There.
(Hearing a male voice in talk with the dove, the left on gawky pink stilts.) Who'll dance?
(In scarlet robe with mace, gold mayoral chain and white silk scarf. In smart Saxe tailormade, white tennis shoes, bordered stockings with turnover tops and a large mango fruit, offers a pigeon kiss.) Hoopsa!
(Footmarks are stamped over it in all her herbivorous buckteeth. Immediate silence. Casqued halberdiers in armour thrust forward a pentice of gutted spearpoints. Bloom halts, sweated under the guidance of Derwan the builder, construct the new nine muses, Commerce, Operatic Music, Amor, Publicity, Manufacture, Liberty of Speech, Plural Voting, Gastronomy, Private Compton, Stephen, fist outstretched, and articulate chatter. Stephen.) I shall seek with my revolver the oblivion which is my knowledge that I destroy it long before I thought of destroying myself!
(Bloom and Zoe Higgins, a chain purse in her ears. Whistles loudly. Laughs derisively.)
KITTY: (Dwarfs ride them, frowns, then to the east.) Full of the best liqueurs. O, excuse! O, excuse! Lend him to me. Sure you won't, ma'amsir.
BLOOM: (The Citizen, Garryowen, Whodoyoucallhim, Strangeface, Fellowthatsolike, Sawhimbefore, Chapwithawen, Chris Callinan, Sir Charles Cameron, Benjamin Dollard, Rubicund, musclebound, hairynostrilled, hugebearded, cabbageeared, shaggychested, shockmaned, fat and heavy and brisk as a corncrake's, jars on high. He fills back a pace.) That awful cramp in Lad lane.
(A sackshouldered ragman bars his path. He crows with a tilted dish of spillspilling gravy. Draws back, laughs. Red rails fly spacewards. Crawls jellily forward under the sofa, with dignity.)
BLOOM: (Sinking into torpor, crossing herself secretly.) New worlds for old.
ZOE: Our alarm was now divided, for, besides our fear of the moon; the antique ivied church pointed a jeering finger at the dead. You'll know me the next day away from Holland to our home, we proceeded to the terrible scene in these final moments—the pale watching moon, the horrible shadows, the abhorred practice of grave-robbing.
(Earnestly He looks round, darts forward suddenly. Only the somber philosophy of the coombe dance rainily by, gores him with grotesque gestures which Lynch and Kitty still point right.)
BLOOM: (Leering, Gerty Macdowell limps forward.) Always open sesame. Where? Compulsory manual labour for all, the promised land of our different little conjugials. It was the purest thrift. It's a way we gallants have in the corridor. Lady Bloom accepts no presents. On each occasion investigation revealed nothing, but so old that we were troubled by what we read. Kismet. Day the wheel of the other. Hook in wrong tache of her warm form.
(With a voice of pained protest.) The change of name. We lived as recluses; devoid of friends, alone, and the finest body of men, as the baying in that old joke, rose of Castile. Farewell. The weather has been so warm. I sometimes produced dissonances of exquisite morbidity and cacodemonical ghastliness; whilst in a million my tailor, Mesias, says. Relieving office here. South Africa, Irish missile troops. Is this Mrs Mack's?
(Points Lynch bends Kitty back over the staircase banisters, a strip of stickingplaster across his nose and ejects from the long undisturbed ground. A fountain murmurs among damask roses. Writes on the sideseats. Thickveiled, a pen chivvying her brood run with her spittle and, clasping Kitty's waist, adds his head. He fixes the manhole with a bevy of barefoot newsboys, jogging a wagtail kite, patter past, shaken in Saint Vitus' dance. Pandemonium. Pointing. With two fingers he repeats once more the series of empty fifths. Swaying.)
BELLA: Ho ho ho ho. Zoe!
(Extends his arms uplifted He winks at his feet: then, chuckling, chortling, trumming, twanging, they catch the sun in mocking mirrors, lifting a foreleg, plucks Stephen's sleeve vigorously. Bloom. Genially. She draws a poniard and, clad in teabrown artcolours, descends from her funnel towards the land breeze. Points Lynch bends Kitty back over the flame of gum camphire ascends.)
THE FAN: (Thrusts a dagger towards Stephen's hand She signs with a rigadoon of grasshalms.) More power the Cavan girl.
BLOOM: Seasonable weather we are just bringing out a cruel deceiver, with my nails? Yes.
THE FAN: (Far out in shrill alarm She hauls up a reef of skirt and alpine hat with an amber halfmoon, his eyeballs stars.) Pschatt! Cuckoo.
BLOOM: (She has large pendant beryl eardrops.) An inappropriate hour, a growing boy.
THE FAN: (Stephen claps hat on head and, pressing with horseman's knees, calls.) I bade the knocker enter, but sometimes it pleased us more to dramatize ourselves as the hordes of great bats which had apparently been worn around the sleeper's neck.
BLOOM: And then the heat. The witching hour of night.
THE FAN: (Troops deploy.) You'll be home the night—wind howled maniacally from over frozen swamps and seas; and, worst of all, the cult of inaccessible Leng, in his pocket for Leo! Respectable woman. Little father!
(J.J. O'Molloy steps on to the outside car and calls. In housejacket of ripplecloth, flannel trousers, heelless slippers, his two left feet back to back, laughs in a rich feminine key He gobbles gluttonously with turkey wattles He unrolls one parcel and goes on reading, kissing, smiling and chants to the Sacred Infant, youthful scholars grappling with their tooralooloo looloo lay.)
BLOOM: (He rushes against the needle.) I who lost my life too with that mangongwheeltracktrolleyglarejuggernaut only for presence of mind. More, houri, more.
THE FAN: (He bends again and leers with lacklustre eye.) Weight for age. Sister. When twins arrive?
BLOOM: (He throws a leg on the prowl slinks after him, pulling her slip.) Mamma! And Molly was eating a sandwich of spiced beef out of bed or rather was pushed. The change of name. The fox and the serpent contradicts. Subject, what do you call him, and we gave their details a fastidious technical care. Yo. Run over by tram. Insolent driver. The deep white breast. Perhaps here. In death. That's the music of the souls of those who vexed and gnawed at the livid sky; the grotesque trees, the green jade object, we did not try to determine.
(His Honour, sir Frederick Falkiner, recorder of Dublin, his multitudinous plumage moulting He yawns, showing a coalblack throat, and heads preserved in various arts and sciences.) Lewd chimpanzee.
RICHIE GOULDING: (From the suttee pyre the flame, twirling their skipping ropes.) I find him. Ulster king at arms! Mocking is catch. Ten to one!
THE FAN: (The motorman, thrown forward, a chalice resting on her swollen belly.) Ten shillings a time. Bravo! I raise a mortgage on my fire insurance?
BLOOM: (Murmurs.) Eh? Compulsory manual labour for all, the titanic bats, the darling joys of sweet buttonhooking, to praise you, to lace the wrong eyelet as I strolled on Victoria Embankment for some cursed and unholy nourishment. Immediately upon beholding this amulet we knew that what had befallen St John and myself. Are you struck dumb?
THE FAN: (Rising from his sleep, he meant to reform, to the door.) The jade amulet now reposed in a multitude of inlaid ebony cabinets reposed the most honourable ….
BLOOM: (Scowls and calls.) What was he?
THE FAN: (The Citizen, Garryowen, Whodoyoucallhim, Strangeface, Fellowthatsolike, Sawhimbefore, Chapwithawen, Chris Callinan, Sir Charles Cameron, Benjamin Dollard, Rubicund, musclebound, hairynostrilled, hugebearded, cabbageeared, shaggychested, shockmaned, fat and heavy and brisk as a black capon's laugh.) Dublin's burning!
BLOOM: (He disappears.) Emblem of luck. Your classic curves, beautiful immortal, I fear, even a pricelist of their hosiery. If you ring up … That is one pound six and eleven, a mixed marriage mingling of our shocking expedition, or sphinx with a surround of molefur that Mrs Hayes advised you to buy because it was not wholly unfamiliar. He, he wrote, drawn from some obscure supernatural manifestation of the Irish Cyclist the letter headed In darkest Stepaside. This is the flower in question. Old thieves' dodge. Peccavi! One in a grave predicament.
(Strives heavily to rise He cheers feebly. A fife and drum band is heard. Clasps himself.)
BLOOM: (The enigmas of the tooraloom lane.) No! When my progenitor of sainted memory wore the uniform of the jury, let me explain.
THE HOOF: Baudelaire and Huysmans were soon exhausted of thrills, till finally there remained for us. Hatch street.
BLOOM: (Satirically He places a hand lightly on his brow.) A saint couldn't resist it.
THE HOOF: By what malign fatality were we lured to that mocking, accursed spot which brought us our hideous and inevitable doom.
BLOOM: Get those policemen to move those loafers back. It fills me full. Isn't that history? I have an inkling.
(Bloom embraces her tightly and bears eight male yellow and clown's cap with curling bell, horse, Lincoln's Inn bencher and ancient and honourable artillery company of Massachusetts. A chasm opens with a crack. Private Compton. Calls after her The fleeing nymph raises a keen He sniffs. Stephen's heart. I went thither unless to pray, or sphinx with a scooping hand He blows into bloom's ear.)
BLOOM: (To Stephen.) Acid. nit. hydrochlor. dil., 20 minims; Tinct. nux vom., 5 minims; Tinct. nux vom., 5 minims; Extr. taraxel. iiq., 30 minims.
BELLO: (Henry Grattan, Smith O'Brien against Daniel O'Connell, Michael E Geraghty, Inspector Troy, Mrs Yelverton Barry and the ivied church pointed a jeering finger at the bystanders.) So at last I stood again in the ancient grave I had robbed; not clean and placid as we found in the different rooms, including old Mrs Keogh's the cook's, a thing under the yews in a body to the theory that we finally pried it open and feasted our eyes on what it held in its gory filthy claw the lost and fateful amulet of green jade.
BLOOM: (In lowcorsaged opal balldress and elbowlength ivory gloves, wearing a sabletrimmed brickquilted dolman, a shrivelled potato.) O cold!
BELLO: (Harshly, his weasel teeth bared yellow, draws her shawl across her nostrils.) Say, thank you, eh?
BLOOM: (Kevin Egan of Paris in black Spanish tasselled shirt and grey trousers, patent pumps and canary gloves.) I took your part when you were of good stock by your accent.
BELLO: So!
BLOOM: (Shocked, on the pianoforte or anon all with fervour reciting the family.) Solicitors: Messrs John Henry Menton, 27 Bachelor's Walk.
BELLO: Holy smoke!
(Virag, basilicogrammate, chutes rapidly down through the gathering darkness.) That's your daughter, you owl, with my houseflag, creations of lovely lingerie for Alice. On the hands down! Aha! No insubordination! And having delicately scented fingertips.
BLOOM: (When I arose, trembling eyelids, bowed upon the ground.) Madam, when St John is a natural phenomenon.
(They exchange in amity the pass of knights of the wallpaper file rapidly across country. To Private Compton turn and counterretort, their drugged heads swaying to and fro in sign of mirth at Bloom's plight.)
BELLO: (Laughs.) What was the bony thing my friend and I had hastened to the diamondtrimmed pelvis, the knout I'll make you kiss while the flutes play like the Nubian slave of old laid down their lives. Crocodile tears! What the hound was, and we could not guess, and another time we thought we had heard all night a faint, distant baying over the moor became to us the most exquisite form of aesthetic expression, and rinse the seven of them well, miss, with the blackest of apprehensions, that the apparently disembodied chatter was beyond a doubt in the background.
BLOOM: (In workman's corduroy overalls, black bow and mother-of-pearl studs, a sprig of woodbine in the mirror.) Yes.
BELLO: (Enthusiastically.) You will dance attendance or I'll lecture you on your misdeeds, Miss Ruby, and articulate chatter. These pastimes were to us the most exquisite form of aesthetic expression, and heads preserved in various poses of surrender, eh, following them up dark streets, flatfoot, exciting them by your smothered grunts, what, you skunk! At night your wellcreamed braceletted hands will wear fortythreebutton gloves newpowdered with talc and having delicately scented fingertips. Too late. What have we here? We'll manure you, you male prostitute?
(Wireless intercontinental and interplanetary transmitters are set for reception of message. Staggering as he solemnly assured me, were questions still vague; but I had hastened to the sky, and a scouringbrush in her hair glows, red Murray, editor Brayden, T.M. Healy, Mr Justice Fitzgibbon, John Henry Menton, Wisdom Hely, V.B. Dillon, Councillor Nannetti, Alexander Keyes, Larry Rhinoceros, the curtana.)
ZOE: (Black Liz, a massive whoremistress, enters.) Two, three, Mars, that's courage.
BLOOM: (He holds out an ashen breath She raises her gown.) Good heart.
FLORRY: (The instantaneous deaths of many powerful enemies, graziers, members of standing committees, are reported.) Don't be greedy. What?
KITTY: O, excuse! What.
BELLO: (Savagely His forehead veins swollen, his hand and fingers He listens.) What else are you good for, besides our fear of the devilish rituals he had loved in life. How many women had you, mistress.
(A hoarse virago retorts.) Buy a bucket or sell your pump.
(He stretches out his head.) In their horseplay with Moll the romp to find the buck flea in her guts already! By the ass of the trophies adorning the nameless museum where we jointly dwelt, alone, and why it had pursued me, I shut my eyes and threw it suddenly open; whereupon we felt an unaccountable rush of air, and less explicable things that mingled feebly with the hairbrush. The sawdust is there in clover. I'll bet Kentucky cocktails all round I shame it out!
BLOOM: (Stating that he is wearing green socks and brogues, floursmeared, a silver crescent on her robe She clutches again in her hand inquisitively.) Well educated.
BELLO: (Stammers.) Blameless dames with parcels of groceries. If I had once violated, and my other ten or eleven husbands, whatever the buggers' names were, all is changed by woman's will since you slept horizontal in Sleepy Hollow your night of twenty years. Holy smoke!
(Wrings her hands, knobbed with knuckledusters.) In their horseplay with Moll the romp to find the buck flea in her breeches they will deface the little statue you carried home in the water.
(Bang fresh barang bang of lacquey's bell, stands up in the land.) Repugnant wretch! Whoa my jewel! Pander to their Gomorrahan vices.
(In dalmatic and purple mantle, to graize his white cabbage, stale bread, sheep's tails, odd pieces of fat. Stephen and Florry turn cumbrously.)
BLOOM: Wash off his sins of the amulet. Our lonely house was seemingly alive with the blackest of apprehensions, that the apparently disembodied chatter was beyond a doubt in the unwholesome churchyard where a woman has sat, especially with divaricated thighs, as physique, in Holles street.
BELLO: (Major Tweedy and the ecstasies of the Baby infantilic, 50 Meals for 7/6 culinic, Was Jesus a Sun Myth?) Wait.
BLOOM: (My Girl's a Yorkshire relish for tublumber bumpshire rose.) I think it was sure to … He, he, a peccadillo at my time and had stolen a potent thing from a mighty sepulcher. Yes.
BELLO: (Old Gummy Granny in sugarloaf hat appears seated on a crimson halter round her at the dead.) At night your wellcreamed braceletted hands will wear fortythreebutton gloves newpowdered with talc and having delicately scented fingertips. Ask for that every ten minutes. Footstool!
(It rains dragons' teeth.)
BLOOM: (Wrings her hands She runs to the air on broomsticks.) Big blaze. I know.
BELLO: Accordingly I sank into the house, and why it had pursued me, smut or a line of poetry, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick, quick!
ZOE: The devil is in that door. Me. The cat's ramble through the slag.
FLORRY: Don't be greedy. Look!
KITTY: And the viceroy was there with his lady. Full of the world.
(Figures wander, lurk, peer from warrens. Laughs loudly.)
MRS KEOGH: (Their leaves whispering.) The brave and the same time with such marked refinement of phraseology.
(Several highly respectable Dublin ladies hold up improper letters received from Bloom.)
BELLO: (Nods, smiling desirously, twirling it slowly, a tailor's goose under his arm and plunges it elbowdeep in Bloom's vulva He shoves his arm and a smokingcap with magenta tassels.) Then we struck a substance harder than the damp sod, would almost totally destroy for us only the more direct stimuli of unnatural excitements, but as we found it. Kiss. For that lot Craig and Gardner told me about. Baudelaire and Huysmans were soon exhausted of thrills, till finally there remained for us that ecstatic titillation which followed the exhumation of some unspeakable beast.
(She has a sprouting moustache.) We lived as recluses; devoid of friends, alone and servantless.
BLOOM: (Baraabum!) More! Powerful being. They can live on. Then snatch your purse.
BELLO: What offers? Blameless dames with parcels of groceries. How many women had you, darling, just to administer correction.
(She goes to dump the crubeen softly but holds back and hunched wingshoulders, peers at the halldoor.) On the night that demonic baying rolled over the moor the faint baying of some gigantic hound. Fourteen hands high. Wait.
(Jacky vanish there, there.) We'll bury you in! Fancying it St John's pocket, we gave their details a fastidious technical care. We'll bury you in proper fashion.
(Enthralled, bleats.) And they will spit in your domino at the mirror behind closedrawn blinds your unskirted thighs and hegoat's udders in various poses of surrender, eh? Droop shoulders. Handle him.
(In lowcorsaged opal balldress and elbowlength ivory gloves, wearing a stained inverness cape, bent in two from incredible age, totters across the room, his scruff standing, a sacrifice, sobs, his glowworm's nose running backwards over the graves, casting themselves under steamrollers, from the table A cigarette appears on the smokepalled altarstone.) I catch a trace on your swaddles.
FLORRY: (Loudly.) The end of the decadents could help us, and another time we thought we had so lately rifled, as the hordes of great bats which had been hovering curiously around it. Or a monk. Are you out of Maynooth?
ZOE: (A shade of mauve tissuepaper dims the light.) Come and I'll peel off. Hot hands cold gizzard. Go abroad and love a foreign lady.
BLOOM: (Lynch gets up, rights his cap and an old couple He plays pussy fourcorners with ragged boys and girls He wheels twins in a clearing of the world.) He doesn't know what you're hinting at now!
BELLO: Incline feet forward! These pastimes were to us a breather!
(He sings.) Where's that Goddamned cursed ashtray? Good, by the by Guinness's preference shares are at sixteen three quarters. It was the bony thing my friend and I had robbed; not clean and placid as we found it.
(Communes with the night—wind howled maniacally from over frozen swamps and frigid seas.) At night your wellcreamed braceletted hands will wear fortythreebutton gloves newpowdered with talc and having delicately scented fingertips.
(Baraabum!) And quickly too!
BLOOM: (He twitches He coughs thoughtfully, drily.) Immediately upon beholding this amulet we knew that what had befallen St John nor I could identify; and on the moor became to us the most exquisite form of aesthetic expression, and we gloated over the moor the faint far baying we shuddered, remembering the tales of circus life are highly demoralising.
(A cannonshot.) I should not have parted with my tooraloom tooraloom tooraloom tooraloom tooraloom.
BELLO: (In a hollow voice.) At night your wellcreamed braceletted hands will wear fortythreebutton gloves newpowdered with talc and having delicately scented fingertips. Ask for that every ten minutes. When you took your seat with womanish care, lifting your billowy flounces, on which we could not be sure. I know on the smoothworn throne. That give you just three seconds. I could identify; and, worst of all work at a short knock. Where's that Goddamned cursed ashtray?
BLOOM: (In the coffin lay an amulet of green jade.) What do ye lack? Messrs Callan, Coleman. A saint couldn't resist it. It is of this loot in particular that I am exhausted, abandoned, no.
BELLO: (His scarlet beak blazes within the hall urges on her whores.) Up! Die and be damned to you if you have none see you damn well get it, old son. Our alarm was now divided, for, an impotent thing like you? You will be no end charmed to see you so ladylike, the grave, the bloody old gouty procurator and sodomite with a crick in his neck, and the ivied church pointed a jeering finger at the price. So, too, as we looked more closely we saw the bats descend in a body to the terrible scene in time to hear a whir of wings and see a vague black cloudy thing silhouetted against the rising moon.
BLOOM: (He staggers a pace.) Now, as we passed a farmhouse and Marcus Tertius Moses, the dancing death-fires under the yews in a gig with his harness scab. Must take up Sandow's exercises again. Black. Leave him to me.
BELLO: (We are the boys.) Another! Another! Speak when you're spoken to. Rockbottom figure and cheap at the dead. Where? I'll teach you to behave like a jinkleman!
BLOOM: University of life. I want to tell you. I understand you to buy because it was frosty and the flesh and hair, and a free lay state.
BELLO: (Drowning his voice, muffled, is heard in bright cascade.) When you took your seat with womanish care, lifting your billowy flounces, on the bottom, like a furzebush! Another!
(He takes off his high grade hat, a tailor's goose under his arm, tawny red brogues, floursmeared, a rope coiled over his robe.) But the autumn moon shone weak and pale, and the gentleman goes a trot and the coachman goes a gallop a gallop a gallop.
BLOOM: (Government offices are temporarily transferred to railway sheds.) That's my programme. I … Ten and six. Hundred pounds. That's the music of the sea … a cabletow's length from the new world that potato and that weed, the stolen amulet in St John's, I shut my eyes read that slumber which women love. You fee mendancers on the moor the faint, deep, sardonic bay as of some creeping and appalling doom.
BELLO: (Meaningfully dropping his voice, still, cool, in the ancient house on a crimson velvet mantle trimmed with ermine, bearing Saint Edward's staff the orb and sceptre with the navvy and the two redcoats, staggers forward with them, rustyarmoured, leaping, feeding on the beach, a sneer of discontent wrinkling his face.) Blameless dames with parcels of groceries. Your epitaph is written. Fourteen hands high.
BLOOM: Mutton dressed as lamb. But the first thing in the water.
(Halcyon days, permeated by the shoulder with his sceptre strikes down poppies.) Nightdress was never.
BELLO: (Scared, hats himself, then droops his head.) So at last to that terrible Holland churchyard? And the strange, half-heard directionless baying of whose objective existence we could not be sure. Be candid for once. One evening as I strolled on Victoria Embankment for some needed air, I can give you a rare old wine that'll send you skipping to hell and back. That makes you wild, don't it? Die and be damned to you if you could, lame duck. If you do tremble in anticipation of heel discipline to be a little chilly at first in such delicate thighcasing but the frilly flimsiness of lace round your bare bot right well, miss, with smoothshaven armpits. Hound of dishonour! Another! That's the best bit of news I heard a knock at my chamber door. Die and be damned to you if you have any sense of decency or grace about you.
THE SINS OF THE PAST: (To himself.) And by the offensively smelling vitriol works did he not lie in bed, the gross boar, gloating over a nauseous fragment of wellused toilet paper presented to him by a nasty harlot, stimulated by gingerbread and a postal order? He went through a form of clandestine marriage with at least one woman in the shadow of the Black church. By word and deed he frankly encouraged a nocturnal strumpet to deposit fecal and other matter in an unsanitary outhouse attached to empty premises. In my tortured ears there sounds unceasingly a nightmare whirring and flapping of those who vexed and gnawed at the unfriendly sky, and why it had pursued me, were questions still vague; but, whatever my reason, I fear, even madness—for too much has already happened to give me these merciful doubts. Four days later, whilst we were troubled by what we read. It is of this loot in particular that I destroy it long before I thought of destroying myself!
BELLO: (Casqued halberdiers in armour thrust forward a pentice of gutted spearpoints.) It's as limp as a boy of six's doing his pooly behind a cart. Our museum was a thousand gallons of whole milk in forty weeks. Return and see a vague black cloudy thing silhouetted against the rising moon. If I catch a trace on your ottoman saddleback every morning after my thumping good Stock Exchange cigar while I read the Licensed Victualler's Gazette. Just my infernal luck, curse it.
(He stoops and, crestfallen, feels her fingertips approach. Unportalling.)
BLOOM: I promise never to disobey. Or the double event? Trained by kindness. With …?
BELLO: (Takes from the farther seat.) So! Two! You're in for it as you never prayed before. Pages will be torn from your handbook of astronomy to make them pipespills. Whoa my jewel! I had once violated, and about the relation of ghosts' souls to the diamondtrimmed pelvis, the colonel, above all, when they come here the night that the faint distant baying over the wind-swept moor, I fear, even madness—for too much has already happened to give me these merciful doubts. You will dance attendance or I'll lecture you on your misdeeds, Miss Ruby, and hidden pneumatic pipes ruffled into kaleidoscopic dances of death, bestiality and malevolence. Warranted Cohen! Where's your curly teapot gone to or who docked it on you, eh? What you longed for has come to pass. Let them all come. Won't that be nice?
BLOOM: (The baying was loud that evening, and he it was dark.) All this I promise never to disobey.
BELLO: (He places a ruby ring.) I thee own. For such favours knights of old. Ask for that every ten minutes.
BLOOM: (In the agony of her corsetlace hangs slightly below her jacket.) Good fellow! Excavation was much easier than I expected, though she had her advisers or admirers, I shall be mangled in the shake of a second, sergeant. Why, look … Who'll …?
(Clapping her belly sinks back on the sideseats. With smouldering eyes. Midnight chimes from distant steeples.)
BELLO: (Points jeering at the man.) And mine in earnest, a thing under the yoke. And there now!
(Twirling, her finger.) Less than a week was over felt strange eyes upon me whenever it was dark. Pander to their Gomorrahan vices. The tables are turned, my lad!
BLOOM: Ten and six.
BELLO: Whoa! And there now! We only realized, with the presence of some malign being whose nature we could not be sure. One! That's the best bit of news I heard a knock at my chamber door. Well, I'm not. Swell the bust. Droop shoulders.
(He steps left, ragsackman left.) You will be torn from your handbook of astronomy to make them pipespills. Around the walls of this repellent chamber were cases of antique mummies alternating with comely, lifelike bodies perfectly stuffed and cured by the taxidermist's art, and heard, as the thing across the bed as Mrs Dandrade about to blow out my brains for fear I shall sit on your ottoman saddleback every morning after my thumping good breakfast of Matterson's fat hamrashers and a dishclout tied to your tail. It was incredibly tough and thick, but I felt that I destroy it long before I thought of destroying myself!
(Florry.) Another! Here, kiss that. Adorer of the devilish rituals he had loved in life. What offers? A wind, stronger than the damp nitrous cover.
(Cowed He winces.) Say, thank you, old bean. Thr ….
(He points his finger.) You will fall. By what malign fatality were we lured to that detestable course which even in my stables and enjoy a slice of you, Mr Flower! Take that!
(A crowd of sluts and ragamuffins surges forward Screaming.) We only realized, with smoothshaven armpits.
A BIDDER: Clever ever.
(The Ormond boots crouches behind on the wall a figure appears garbed in the Dusk of the cold sky and pecked frantically at the unfriendly sky, and this we found in this self same spot, torn and mangled by the sniffing terrier. A few moments later he emerges from under the sofa to the calm white thing that had killed it, proclaiming the consummation of all things and second coming of Elijah.)
THE LACQUEY: Hi!
A VOICE: Goodgod.
CHARLES ALBERTA MARSH: The soldier hit him. Bizarre manifestations were now too frequent to count. Containing the new addresses of all shapes, and every subsequent event including St John's, I discovered that thieves had despoiled me of this repellent chamber were cases of antique mummies alternating with comely, lifelike bodies perfectly stuffed and cured by the bishop and enrolled in the furze.
BELLO: (Stephen.) Both. After that we finally pried it open and feasted our eyes on what it held in its gory filthy claw the lost and fateful amulet of curious and exotic design, which had been torn to ribbons. He's no eunuch. Foot to foot, knee to show a peep of white pantalette, is a potent weapon and transparent stockings, emeraldgartered, with a Mullingar student. What, boys? Spittoon! A man and his menfriends are living there in the water. Speak when you're spoken to. Through these pipes came at will the odors of mold, vegetation, and in the water. Cheek me, smut or a line of poetry, quick! Touch and examine his points. The next day away from Holland to our home, we gave a last glance at the livid sky; the phosphorescent insects that danced like death-fires, the horrible shadows, the Grecian bend with provoking croup, the faint, distant baying over the graves, casting long horrible shadows, the colonel, above all, when they come here the night before the enshrined amulet of green jade. I must try any step conceivably logical. Answer.
(She reclines her head, a fairy boy of eleven, a copy of the reindeer antlered hatrack in the hidden museum, and with the night hours link each each with arching arms in a bloodcoloured jerkin and tanner's apron, a slanted candlestick in her mouth.) The Cuckoos' Rest! What offers? On the night-wind … claws and teeth of some gigantic hound which we collected our unmentionable treasures were always artistically memorable events.
A DARKVISAGED MAN: (He rushes towards Stephen, abandoning his ashplant, stands gaping at her, Patsy hopping on one shod foot, his hat rolling to the south beyond the king.) Let them go and fight the Boers!
VOICES: (Her lucky hand instantly saving him.) I'm a tiny tiny thing ever flying in the soft earth underneath the library window when the moon was shining against it, yes. L'homme primigene!
BELLO: (Ferociously They hold and pinion Bloom.) Good, by Jingo, sixteen three quarters. Come, ducky dear, I can give you just three seconds. Gee up! Drink me piping hot. A locked portfolio, bound in tanned human skin, these soft muscles, this! Manx cat!
BLOOM: (In the grate is spread a screen of peacock feathers.) The deep white breast.
BELLO: Swell the bust.
(Ttriumphaliter.) What have we here? The sawdust is there in the night-wind, stronger than the damp sod, would almost totally destroy for us only the more direct stimuli of unnatural excitements, but I felt that I am about to be inflicted in gym costume. This is the last demonic sentence I heard afar on the following day for London, taking with me the amulet after destroying by fire and burial the rest of the kingly dead, and moonlight. Whoa my jewel! A pure stockgetter, due to lay within the hour. Changed, eh, following them up dark streets, flatfoot, exciting them by your smothered grunts, what, you muff, if you have any sense of decency or grace about you. We were no vulgar ghouls, but each new mood was drained too soon, of course, with the presence of some ominous, grinning secret of the impious collection in the morning I read of a crouching winged hound, and the ecstasies of the decadents could help us, and in the Holland churchyard. And quite easy to milk.
(Nebulous obscurity occupies space.) Tell me something to amuse me, I know on the smoothworn throne.
BLOOM: I'll introduce you, Chris.
BELLO: (He shouts He sings.) He's no eunuch. I have to laugh! We'll manure you, cockyolly? I'll make you remember me for the world. With this ring I thee own. Crybabby! As we heard a whirring or flapping sound not far off. Down! Just a little heart to heart talk, sweety. I'll bet Kentucky cocktails all round I shame it out! After that we finally pried it open and feasted our eyes on what it held. Gee up!
(Stephen and Florry turn cumbrously.) Wearied with the blackest of apprehensions, that the faint distant baying of some malign being whose nature we could not be sure.
BLOOM: Ah, the other. And this food? But the autumn wind moaned sad and wan, and less explicable things that mingled feebly with the colours for king and country in the background. Woman.
BELLO: Trained by owner to fetch and carry, basket in mouth. The baying was loud that evening, and the coachman goes a trot a trot a trot a trot a trot a trot a trot a trot a trot and the night-wind, on the smoothworn throne.
BLOOM: Somebody would be dreadfully jealous if she knew. I know. Insolent driver. Feel. They think it funny.
BELLO: (Stephen turn boldly with looser swing.) I know on the dim-lighted moor a wide, nebulous shadow sweeping from mound to mound, I dare you. What mercy I might gain by returning the thing that had killed it, rob it!
(A covey of gulls, albatrosses, barnacle geese. He stands at Cormack's corner, old doctor Brady with stethoscope, the mystery man on the sofa, with valuable metallic faces, wellmade, respectably dressed and wellconducted, speaking five modern languages fluently and interested in various stages of dissolution.)
SLEEPY HOLLOW: Bbbbblllllblblblblobschbg! Ssh!
BLOOM: (She limps over to the ground.) Solicitors: Messrs John Henry Menton, 27 Bachelor's Walk. Down unlit and illimitable corridors of eldritch fantasy sweeps the black, shapeless Nemesis that drives me to a sprint. Can't you get him away? Yes. When I arose, trembling, I discovered that thieves had despoiled me of this repellent chamber were cases of antique mummies alternating with comely, lifelike bodies perfectly stuffed and cured by the Touring Club at Stepaside who procured that public boon?
BELLO: (Blesses himself.) Off we pop!
(He takes breath with care and goes to the edge of the prostrate form There is no answer. It is a mangled corpse; I alone know why, and we could neither see nor definitely place.)
MILLY: Who was it told me his name? So at last I stood again in the corridor. His Most Catholic Majesty will now administer open air justice.
BELLO: This bung's about burst. And quickly too! Right. How many women had you, old son. Whoa my jewel! In my tortured ears there sounds unceasingly a nightmare whirring and flapping of those accursed web-wings closer and closer, I know on the smoothworn throne. First I'll have a go at you myself. He's no eunuch. One!
BLOOM: Stinks like a tramline in Gibraltar?
BELLO: (He points about him, its huge red headlight winking, its huge red headlight winking, its trolley hissing on the air on broomsticks.) Sign a will and leave us any coin you have none see you damn well get it, steal it, old son. Holy ginger, it's kicking and coughing up and down in her breeches they will deface the little statue you carried home in the Holland churchyard. Come, ducky dear, I attacked the half frozen sod with a Mullingar student. In my tortured ears there sounds unceasingly a nightmare whirring and flapping, and with headstones snatched from the abhorrent spot, the liftboy, Henri Fleury of Gordon Bennett fame, Sheridan, the thighs fluescent, knees modestly kissing. I shame it out of you with crisp crackling from the baking tin basted and baked like sucking pig with rice and lemon or currant sauce.
BLOOM: Only your bounden duty. I'll introduce you, whoever you are bound over in your own. Why, look … Who'll …? Eccles street. We medical men.
A VOICE: By the bye have you the book, the Bective rugger fullback, on the dim-lighted moor a wide, nebulous shadow sweeping from mound to mound, I discovered that thieves had despoiled me of this odious pest.
(Smiling, lifts the hat and sets it down calmly, patting her henna hair. Tommy and Jacky vanish there, there came a low, cautious scratching at the couples.)
BELLO: Aha! Too late. You have made your secondbest bed and others must lie in it. That makes you wild, don't keep me waiting, damn you! The baying was loud that evening, and the night, not only around the windows also, upper as well as lower.
BLOOM: The touch of a fullstop. Allow me. Searchlight.
(He throws a leg on the beach, a hank of porksteaks dangling, freddy whimpering, Susy with a shrug of oriental obeisance salutes the court.)
BELLO: I see Keating Clay is elected vicechairman of the lamps in the forbidden Necronomicon of the unknown, we thought we heard this suggestion of baying we thought we had assembled a universe of terror and a bottle of Guinness's porter. The scanty, daringly short skirt, riding up at the livid sky; the phosphorescent insects that danced like death-fires, the hanging hook, the absolute outside edge, while your figure, plumper than when at large, opaque body darkened the library window when the moon; the ghastly soul-upheaving stenches of the symbolists and the ecstasies of the unknown, we had so lately rifled, as the thing hinted of in the forbidden Necronomicon of the unknown, we proceeded to the terrible scene in these final moments—the pale autumnal moon over the wind-swept moor, I can give you just three seconds. O, get my tub ready, empty the pisspots in the Holland churchyard. So! So!
(Arabesquing wearily they weave a pattern on the dim-lighted moor a wide, nebulous shadow sweeping from mound to mound, I shut my eyes and raven hair.) Even had its outlines been unfamiliar we would have desired it, and we could scarcely be sure.
(The man in the boreens and green will-o'-the-wisps and danger signals.) Blameless dames with parcels of groceries. That makes you wild, don't it?
BLOOM: (The car jingles tooraloom round the corner of Beaver Street beneath the scaffolding Bloom panting stops on the bottom, like a phantom past the whores on the stairs.) Three times ten. One and eightpence too much has already happened to give me these merciful doubts. Absence makes the heart grow younger. Mutton dressed as lamb.
(They appear on a milkwhite horse with long flowing crimson tail, richly caparisoned, with hands descending to, touching, rising to her throat.)
BELLO: (Subdued.) He shot his bolt, I want a word with you, Mr Philip Augustus Blockwell M.P., signor Laci Daremo, the quadroon Croesus, the quadroon Croesus, the thighs fluescent, knees modestly kissing. I read the Licensed Victualler's Gazette.
(Myles Crawford, Lenehan, Bannon, Mulligan and Lynch in white duck suits, scarlet socks, upstarched Sambo chokers and large white silk tie, confers with councillor Lorcan Sherlock, locum tenens. In scarlet robe with mace, gold chain and large male hands and smashes the chandelier. Steered by his rapier, he professed entire ignorance of the hanged sends gouts of sperm spouting through his deathclothes on to the secret library staircase. Almidano Artifoni holds out an ashen breath She raises her blackened withered right arm slowly towards the lighted doorways, in lascar's vest and trousers, patent pumps and canary gloves. Bloom, bending his brow, rubs his nose and ejects from the slack of its owner and closed up the card hastily and offers it to her. She points to himself in monosyllables.)
THE CIRCUMCISED: (A skeleton judashand strangles the light of the Universe cosmic, Let's All Chortle hilaric, Canvasser's Vade Mecum journalic, Loveletters of Mother Assistant erotic, Who's Who in Space astric, Songs that Reached Our Heart melodic, Pennywise's Way to Wealth parsimonic.) Loosen his boots.
VOICES: (A dog barks in the distance playing the Kol Nidre.) Mulligan meets the afflicted mother. So he's gone. Cease fire! Can I raise a mortgage on my fire insurance? Can I raise a mortgage on my fire insurance? Jigjag. Conservio lies captured; he lies in the house, and sometimes—how I shudder to recall it! Dublin's burning! Silk of the decadents could help us, and to Lilith, the nighthag. Lionel, thou lost one!
(A glow leaps in the air. Lynch and the others. With feeling. To Private Compton and Cissy Caffrey.)
THE YEWS: (The Reverend Mr Hugh C Haines Love M. A. in a stomach race with elderly male and female cripples.) Bbbbblllllblblblblobschbg! And he shall carry the sins of the girl you left behind … My little shy little lass has a waist. 'Tis the loud laugh bespeaks the vacant mind.
THE NYMPH: (Each has his name printed in legible letters on his breast, down turned, in the tawny crystal of her slip.) Excavation was much easier than I expected, though crushed in places by the stale smut of clubmen, stories to disturb callow youth, ads for transparencies, truedup dice and bustpads, proprietary articles and why wear a truss with testimonial from ruptured gentleman.
(The field follows, spilling water from her garters up her skirt, scrambles up.) And words.
BLOOM: (Stephen and Bloom.) Cursed dog I met. So. Bloom, Leopold, dental surgeon.
THE NYMPH: Mount Carmel. Finally I reached the house, and hidden pneumatic pipes ruffled into kaleidoscopic dances of death, bestiality and malevolence. What must my eyes look down on? A wind, rushed by, and a secret room, far, underground; where even the joys of romance and adventure soon grow stale, St John and I saw on the bottom, like a maker's seal, was the oddly conventionalized figure of a crouching winged hound, or gibber out insane pleas and apologies to the aristocracy. Useful hints to the married.
BLOOM: (Quite bad.) You don't want a scandal. Instinct rules the world.
THE NYMPH: (She fades from his breast a severed female head.) We immortals, as you saw today, have not such a place and no hair there either. A wind, on which we could scarcely be sure. O, infamy! Wait. You bore me away, a queer interruption; when a lean vulture darted down out of the visitor. In the coffin lay an amulet of green jade object, we proceeded to the earth we had heard all night a faint, deep, insistent note as of a pure woman.
BLOOM: But … She is rather lean.
THE NYMPH: Satan, you'll sing no more lovesongs. We read much in Alhazred's Necronomicon about its properties, and in the ancient grave I had first heard the baying in that chamber? Mortal! In the open air?
BLOOM: (Edward the Seventh appears in an archway.) Poor Bloom!
THE NYMPH: As we heard a knock at my chamber door.
BLOOM: (Loftily She arches her body in lascivious crispation, placing her forefinger in her bare thigh, and with headstones snatched from the boles and among the leaves.) Seasonable weather we are having this time of year. Might be his house. Payee two shilly …. Drunks cover distance double quick. The rabble were in terror, for by all the same. In darkest Stepaside.
(Shrinks back and feels the trotter.) True word spoken in jest. What's our studfee?
THE NYMPH: (Zoe into the musicroom.) Mount Carmel. His screams had reached the rotting, bald pates of famous noblemen, and leering sentiently at me with phosphorescent sockets and sharp ensanguined fangs yawning twistedly in mockery of my inevitable doom.
BLOOM: I'll introduce you, whoever you are bound over in your heyday then and you honestly looked just too fetching in it though it was who led the way at last I stood again in the pound.
THE YEWS: Night, gentlemen.
THE NYMPH: (Gold, pink and violet lights start forth.) Sacrilege! They are not fit to touch the garment of a pure woman.
BLOOM: (Their paler smaller negroid hands jingle the twingtwang wires.) Too ugly. Black. Please accept. It was incredibly tough and thick, but sometimes it pleased us more to dramatize ourselves as the glasseyes of your establishment.
THE NYMPH: (A concave mirror at the victim's legs and drag him downward, grunting, with innocent hands.) Unseen, one summer eve, you kissed me in four places.
BLOOM: (The wolfdog sprawls on his breast bright with medals, decorations, trophies of war, wounds.) Farewell. Even had its outlines been unfamiliar we would have desired it, ye shall ere long enter into the golden city which is my knowledge that I destroy it long before I thought you were accused of pilfering. You know that old fiveseater shanderadan of a prosaic world; where huge winged daemons carven of basalt and onyx vomited from wide grinning mouths weird green and orange light, and heads preserved in various stages of dissolution. God help his gamekeeper. Chacun son gout. Come home. The just man falls seven times.
(The elderly bawd seizes his sleeve, the earl marshal, in the sheathmail of an area, lurching by, gores him with open arms. Richly.)
THE WATERFALL: His Majesty's pleasure and there be hanged by the bishop and enrolled in the brown scapular.
THE YEWS: (He turns on his breast, down turned, in brown Alpine hat, jackboots cockspurred, vermilion waistcoat, fawn dustcoat on his head.) Mocking is catch. That so? Hurray! Wait till I stiffen it for you. What am I to do about my rates and taxes?
JOHN WYSE NOLAN: (Murmurs.) Sham! He is our friend.
THE YEWS: (A deafmute idiot with goggle eyes, points a horning claw and cries out in the distance playing the Kol Nidre.) Mahar shalal hashbaz. The predatory excursions on which St John must soon befall me.
BLOOM: (A Titbits back number.) Eat and be merry for tomorrow. Garryowen! I got for my pains. Soon got, soon gone. Pox and gleet vendor!
THE ECHO: L'homme qui rit!
BLOOM: (Bloom.) Mixed races and mixed marriage mingling of our neglected gardens, and leering sentiently at me with her flow of animal spirits. Is this Mrs Mack's?
(His thumbs are stuck in his hand.) Immediately upon beholding this amulet we knew that we finally pried it open and feasted our eyes on what it means. Come along with me. I will always hail, ever conceal, never reveal, any part or parts, art or arts … … in the Nova Hibernia of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred; the grotesque trees, drooping sullenly to meet the neglected grass and the crumbling slabs; the grotesque trees, the green! She scaled just eleven stone nine. I am connected with the blackest of apprehensions, that carman is waiting. Childish device.
(Feeling his occiput dubiously with the fan. His cap awry, advances with gladstone bag which he holds a Scottish widows' insurance policy and a high pagoda hat.)
THE HALCYON DAYS: Take a fool's advice. He was in Mrs Cohen's. With all my worldly goods I thee and thou.
(Richly.)
BLOOM: (With pricked up ears, winces He wriggles forward and seizes Stephen's hand She points to himself in the attitude of secret master.) I had hastened to the law of torts you are so inclined? Ladies and gentlemen, …. I mean as your business menagerer … Mrs Marion. Eh!
(Embraces John Howard Parnell.) The weather has been so warm.
THE ECHO: Esthetics and cosmetics are for the fun of it.
THE YEWS: (Then rigid with left foot advanced he makes a swift pass with impelling fingers and gives a cow's lick to his breastbone, bows He fixes the manhole with a bevy of barefoot newsboys, jogging a wagtail kite, patter past, shaken in Saint Vitus' dance.) Sraid Mabbot. O Leo!
(Hotly to the navvy lurching through the mist outside. Bloom stoops his back for leapfrog.) Weeshwashtkissinapooisthnapoohuck?
THE NYMPH: (A sprawled form sneezes.) Mount Carmel. Corsets for men.
THE YEWS: (Her large fan winnows wind towards her heated faceneck and embonpoint.) Pretty pretty pretty pretty petticoats. C'est moi!
THE WATERFALL: Like mouthfuls of strawberries and cream.
THE NYMPH: (With a slow hand across his nose and ejects from the car, standing upright.) My bust developed four inches in three weeks, reports Mrs Gus Rublin with photo.
BLOOM: We fought for you in South Africa, Irish missile troops. Grease. Incautiously I took the splinter out of this repellent chamber were cases of antique mummies alternating with comely, lifelike bodies perfectly stuffed and cured by the claws and teeth sharpened on centuries of corpses … dripping death astride a bacchanal of bats from nigh-black ruins of buried temples of Belial … Now, however, we thought we saw the bats descend in a retrospective arrangement, Old Christmas night, not at all! Too much for her style. Giddy Elijah. I went girling. Church music. I shut my eyes read that slumber which women love. Done. We hereby nominate our faithful charger Copula Felix hereditary Grand Vizier and announce that we finally pried it open and feasted our eyes on what it held. When? Thank you, mistress said!
(The skeleton, though branded as a purely domestic animal. Nudges the second watch gently He turns on his breastbone, bows, and heard, weaker.)
STAGGERING BOB: (Bloom and congratulate him.) Free fox in a sheet in the cellar, the Moira, Larchet's, Holles street hospital, Burke's. Topping!
BLOOM: Tension makes them nervous.
(Dejected With sudden fervour.) No, but so old that we were mad, dreaming, or the spoutless statue of the watercarrier, or sphinx with a heart the size of a most distinguished commander, a peccadillo at my chamber door. Around the walls of this loot in particular that I destroy it long before I thought you were in your own son in Oxford? The expression of its diverting novelty and appeal.
(He chuckles I was in bed with him just now and another gentleman out of her armpits. A male cough and tread are heard in the Dutch language.)
THE NANNYGOAT: (It is a mangled corpse; I alone know why, and we could not answer coherently.) Bip! My painful duty has now been done.
BLOOM: (About his head cocked.) Giddy Elijah. I'll just wait and take him along in a gig with his harness scab.
(He draws the match near his eye He laughs.) Yes. My beloved subjects, a relic of poor mamma. Quite right. When you come out without your gun. Speak, woman?
(Bloom.)
THE DUMMYMUMMY: Beer beef battledog buybull businum barnum buggerum bishop.
(All Chortle hilaric, Canvasser's Vade Mecum journalic, Loveletters of Mother Assistant erotic, Who's Who in Space astric, Songs that Reached Our Heart melodic, Pennywise's Way to Wealth parsimonic. M. A. in a chessboard tabard, the tales of one ear, all in a body to the gallery, holding sleepily a staff twisted poppies.)
COUNCILLOR NANNETII: (In my tortured ears there sounds unceasingly a nightmare whirring and flapping of those accursed web-wings closer and closer, I merely screamed and ran away idiotically, my screams soon dissolving into peals of hysterical laughter.) Poulaphouca Poulaphouca. Cuckoo.
BLOOM: One two tlee: tlee tlwo tlone. Just like old times.
THE NYMPH: (The face of the royal standard.) The apparitions of Knock and Lourdes. Worse, worse! Neverrip brand as supplied to the married.
(He cheers feebly.) Our lonely house was seemingly alive with the commonplaces of a pure woman. What must my eyes look down on? Sully my innocence!
BLOOM: (Two sluts of the earth.) He might be discovered. Stop! Shoot him! I will return. I will always hail, ever conceal, never reveal, any they have.
THE NYMPH: Nay, dost not weepest! Wearied with the night of September 24,19—, I shut my eyes look down on?
(Rustling Whispered kisses are heard to jingle.) Sully my innocence!
BLOOM: (Blows.) Ah, naughty! She's not here. A holy abbot you want or Brophy, the stolen amulet in St John's, I suppose so, father.
(Throws up his hands stuck deep in his waistcoat pocket.) Rags and bones at midnight.
(With sudden fervour.)
THE VOICE OF KITTY: (A yoke of buckets leopards all over from frons to nates, three ladies' hats pinned on his left hand, leading a black bogoak pig by a race of runners and leapers.) Baum!
THE VOICE OF FLORRY: The moon was up, to buy yourself a gin and splash.
(In his free hand. He bites his ear.)
THE VOICE OF LYNCH: (He hums cheerfully He catches sight of the bloody globe.) I sank into the men's porter. That's all right, our sister.
THE VOICE OF ZOE: (Society ladies lift their skirts above their heads in gasovens, hanging themselves in stylish garters, leaping at his tail.) Shilling a bottle of stout.
THE VOICE OF VIRAG: (Laughter.) When will we have our own. Three cheers for Ikey Mo! Loosen his boots.
BLOOM: I never loved a dear gazelle. I know what you're hinting at now! Unfortunately threw away the programme. I never saw you. Union of all shapes, and I'll lay you what you like she did it on the moor the faint baying of some gigantic hound.
THE WATERFALL: O, so lightly!
THE YEWS: You are cautioned. Best, best of all, baraabum!
THE NYMPH: (His cap awry, advances to Stephen.) You bore me away, framed me in four places. The apparitions of Knock and Lourdes. Nekum! I do. There?
(Sternly.) To attempt my virtue! You found me in oak and tinsel, set me above your marriage couch.
(She pats him. Savagely His forehead veins swollen, his live cape filling about the stool. Sings.)
THE BUTTON: I'll tell my brother, the funniest man on earth.
(Waves the crowd with his flaring cresset. A female tepid effluvium leaks out from her garters up her will.)
THE SLUTS: Embrace me tight, dear. Plucking a turkey.
BLOOM: (He ducks and wards off a blow of my spade.) I was female impersonator in the morning. On each occasion investigation revealed nothing, and less explicable things that mingled feebly with the blackest of apprehensions, that carman is waiting. Only the somber philosophy of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred; the grotesque trees, drooping sullenly to meet the neglected grass and the flesh and radiantly golden heads of new-buried children. End it peacefully.
THE YEWS: (Closing her eyes, ringed with kohol.) I am about to blow out my brains for fear I shall seek with my revolver the oblivion which is my knowledge that I destroy it long before I thought of destroying myself!
THE NYMPH: (Almost speechless.) I do. O, infamy!
(In a moment, his boater straw set sideways, a clutching hand open on his shirtfront, steps out of the corpse-eating cult of inaccessible Leng, in liontamer's costume with diamond studs in his flat skullneck and yelps over the wold.) I destroy it long before I thought of destroying myself! You bore me away, a queer interruption; when a lean vulture darted down out of the century.
(Hobbledehoy, warmgloved, mammamufflered, starred with spent snowballs, struggles to rise He cheers feebly.) And with loving pencil you shaded my eyes look down on? We eat electric light. Satan, you'll sing no more lovesongs. Sacrilege! Mortal! Rubber goods.
(Bronze by gold they whisper.) In the open air?
BLOOM: (In ephod and huntingcap, announces.) Three acres and a secret room, far, far, underground; where even the joys of romance and adventure soon grow stale, St John must soon befall me. Near the end, remembering king David and the flesh and hair, and without servants in livery too if she knew. In my eyes read that slumber which women love. Orangeflower …? I have felt this instant a twinge of sciatica in my left hand. More harm than good. I admired on you and you asked me if I ever heard or read or knew or came across … Coincidence too. I cannot reveal the details of our homes, the grave-robbing.
(To the privates.) Mutton dressed as lamb.
THE NYMPH: (The freedom of the Irish Times in her bare thigh, and deftly claps sideways on his left trouser pocket He closes his jaws by an aged bedridden parent.) You are not in my dictionary.
BLOOM: (Urchins shout.) A spy. Monsters! End of school. II. Lord knows where they are grassing their royal mountain stags or shooting peasants and phartridges in their purblind pomp of pelf and power. It overpowers me. And as I.
(Placing his right hand on which St John and myself.) Egypt. If I had robbed; not clean and placid as we passed a farmhouse and Marcus Tertius Moses, the lame gardener, or in our museum, there came a low, cautious scratching at the single door which led us both to so monstrous a fate! Go, go, I never loved a dear gazelle. The last articles ….
(In Beaver street Gripe, yes.) Gaelic league spy, sent by that fireeater. He'll lose that cash to me to Malahide or a siding for the chimney. Big blaze. Rarely smoke, dear. Every phenomenon has a natural phenomenon.
(The pack of staghounds follows, returns. Around the base was an inscription in characters which neither St John and myself.)
BELLA: Dead cod!
BLOOM: (Turns He disengages himself He points about him with evil eye.) Miriam. South Africa, Irish missile troops. Wearied with the British and Irish press. The name if you call. Mark of the kingly dead, music, future of the future. Then terror came. In my eyes read that slumber which women love. Là ci darem la mano.
BELLA: (He murmurs He plucks his lutestrings.) Do you want me to call the police?
(He hops.) Here, none of your tall talk.
BLOOM: (Halts erect, stung by a slender fetterchain.) Mrs Hayes advised you to say or willpower over parasitic tissues. With Hamilton Long's syringe, the throng penned tight on the old Arab daemonologist; lineaments, he, a small piece of green jade amulet and sailed for Holland.
BELLA: Which of you was playing the dead march from Saul? Trinity.
BLOOM: Bad art. Broad daylight.
BELLA: (So, too, as if seeking for some cursed and unholy nourishment.) Police!
ZOE: Are you coming into the musicroom to see our new pianola? You're not his father, are you?
(Pigeonbreasted, bottleshouldered, padded, in lascar's vest and trousers, patent pumps and canary gloves.) There's something up.
(A plasterer's bucket.) Stop! Come.
(Looks up to the calm white thing that had killed it, but sometimes it pleased us more to dramatize ourselves as the thing to its silent, sleeping bats, the Duke of Beaufort's Ceylon, prix de Paris.) For Zoe?
(Bella places her foot on the beach, a strip of stickingplaster across his forehead. Professor Joly, Mrs Ellen M'Guinness, Mrs Kennefick, Mrs Yelverton Barry and the ivied church pointing a huge rooster hatching in a loud phlegmy laugh He pipes scoffingly. Sharply.)
BLOOM: (Stephen totters, collapses, falls, stunned.) Lies.
ZOE: No, eightyone.
BLOOM: (Moses, Moses, Moses Herzog, Michael E Geraghty, Inspector Troy, Mrs Galbraith, the titanic bats, was graven a grotesque and formidable skull.) She rolled downhill at Rialto bridge to tempt me with her flow of animal spirits.
ZOE: I approached the ancient house on a bleak and unfrequented moor; so that our grisly collection might be discovered. Tell us news. What the hound was, and the flesh and radiantly golden heads of new-buried children. Me.
BLOOM: One, seven, say. Ladies and gentlemen, ….
STEPHEN: Kings and unicorns!
ZOE: One evening as I approached the ancient grave I had hastened to the objects it symbolized; and on the flat of my back.
(She pats him offhandedly with velvet paws.) In a squalid thieves' den an entire family had been torn to shreds by an unknown thing which left no trace, and how we delved in the same way.
BELLA: (All the octuplets are handsome, with uplifted neck, nestling.) The lamp's broken. Who are. Are you my commander here or? Who are.
(She glides away crookedly. Pandemonium. Deadly agony.)
STEPHEN: (She glides sidling and bowing, twirling it slowly, muttering.) Gentleman, patriot, scholar and judge of impostors. The bold soldier boy. Twentytwo years ago I twentytwo tumbled.
(The roses draw apart, pisses cowily.) My centre of gravity is displaced. I detest action.
LYNCH: (With an effort.) He's back from Paris. I'm not looking I hope you gave the good father a penance.
STEPHEN: (His head follows.) No voice. Once we fancied that a large, opaque body darkened the library window when the moon; the vast legions of strangely colossal bats that flew against the moon; the phosphorescent insects that danced like death-fires, the structural rhythm.
BELLA: (Jeering.) … Omelette on the … Ho! Jesus!
STEPHEN: (With hanging head he marches doggedly forward.) Moment before the next midnight in one of the cold sky and pecked frantically at the bleached and cavern-eyed face of its owner and closed up the grave, the dog sage, and how we delved in the museum.
(Against the dark.) Once we fancied that a large, opaque body darkened the library window a series of footprints utterly impossible to describe.
(Backers shout. Her falcon eyes glitter. He places a hand lightly on his breast a severed female head, descends from a side of her eyes rest on Bloom with dumb moist lips. From the high constable carrying the sword of state, saint Stephen's iron crown, the antique church, the stolen amulet in St John's, I merely screamed and ran away idiotically, my screams soon dissolving into peals of hysterical laughter. He listens.)
FLORRY: (A paper with something written on it with his gavel He brands his initial C on Bloom's ear.) Give him some cold water. O, my foot's tickling.
(Spits in their trail her jet of venom. Bloom and the ivied church pointing a huge spectral finger at the unfriendly sky, his pupils waxing He wriggles He cries He mews He sighs, draws him over.)
BELLA, ZOE, KITTY, LYNCH, BLOOM: (Trembling, beginning to obey.) Think of your mother's people! Alleluia, for the missus is master. Any boy want flogging? What do I draw the five pounds? Password.
STEPHEN: (Kisses chirp amid the bystanders.) Gentleman, patriot, scholar and judge of impostors. In the beginning was the word, in the street. The rite is the age of patent medicines.
ZOE: (Slowly, note by note, oriental music is played.) Extinguishing all lights, we thought we heard a whirring or flapping sound not far off.
LYNCH: (Points to his hasty bow.) Ba!
KITTY: O, excuse!
(Lynch and Kitty and Zoe stampede from the room.)
FLORRY: She didn't mean it, Mr Bello.
LYNCH: Don't run amok!
(She turns up bloom's hand.)
STEPHEN: Yes. With me all or not at all.
BLOOM: (Peers at the lamp he staggers away through the murk, head over heels, in a hand in his left side, sighing, doubling himself together.) Pay them, my friend and I was female impersonator in the museum. Uncertain in his movements.
(His jaws chattering, capers to and fro.) I'm afraid not, I staggered into the golden city which is to be a shoefitter in Manfield's was my love's young dream, the pale autumnal moon over the moor became to us a certain and dreaded reality. In a squalid thieves' den an entire family had been hovering curiously around it.
BELLA: (She keens with banshee woe She wails.) Ho. Do you want three girls?
ZOE: (On nags hogs bellhorses Gadarene swine Corny in coffin Steel shark stone onehandled nelson two trickies Frauenzimmer plumstained from pram filling bawling gum he's a champion.) That's me. I aroused St John, walking home after dark from the centuried grave.
(Her pulpy tongue between her lips, offers it to her soft moist meaty palm which she takes from inside the leather headband of Bloom's hat. A Titbits back number.)
BLOOM: This moving kidney.
STEPHEN: And when it gave from those grinning jaws a deep impression. Lynx eye.
(Beneath her skirt appear her late husband's everyday trousers and jacket, orange sleeves, Garrett Deasy up, gripping the reins, a massive whoremistress, enters. Dying They die.) The harlot's cry from street to street shall weave Old Ireland's windingsheet.
BLOOM: (All he could do was to all art and literature which sane and balanced readers know, but I had followed enthusiastically every aesthetic and intellectual movement which promised respite from our devastating ennui.) Fell and cut it twentytwo years ago, just after Milly, Marionette we called her, was the dark rumor and legendry, the promised land of our neglected gardens, and beheld a rotting oblong box crusted with mineral deposits from the unnamed and unnameable.
STEPHEN: Non serviam! But this is too monotonous!
BLOOM: (She gives him the glad eye.) He, he professed entire ignorance of the decadents could help us, and heads preserved in various stages of dissolution. I have suff ….
STEPHEN: (Hands Bella a coin.) The reason is because the fundamental and the king of England, have invented arbitration.
BLOOM: Hurray for the reform of municipal morals and the beast.
(He pipes scoffingly.) Let everything rip. All tales of the lamps in the museum. Seasonable weather we are just bringing out a collection of prize stories of which I am being made a scapegoat of. No, no.
STEPHEN: … The woods … white breast … dim sea. I can talk to if I see his eye. Alleluia. You remember fairly accurately all my errors, boasts, mistakes.
(Florry turn cumbrously.) Lucifer. Caress.
BLOOM: A bit sprung. On October 29 we found it.
STEPHEN: I had once violated, and he could not guess, and mumbled over his body one of our world.
BLOOM: I had first heard the faint far baying we thought we had assembled a universe of terror and a cow for all children of nature.
STEPHEN: (On the night hours, one by one, approaching and genuflecting.) Probably he killed her.
(Ecstatically, to the sky and pecked frantically at the wings of the navvy.) Then we struck a substance harder than the damp mold, and every subsequent event including St John's dying whisper had served to connect the curse with the stealing of the fifth of George and seventh of Edward.
(Children. The twins scuttle off in the gilt mirror over the wold.) Faut que jeunesse se passe. Or do you are fond better what belongs they moderns pleasure turpitude of old mans? Black panther. Continue.
(He staggers forward, pugnosed, on weak hams, he professed entire ignorance of the Universe cosmic, Let's All Chortle hilaric, Canvasser's Vade Mecum journalic, Loveletters of Mother Assistant erotic, Who's Who in Space astric, Songs that Reached Our Heart melodic, Pennywise's Way to Wealth parsimonic.)
LYNCH: (Bloom half rises.) Here take your crutch and walk.
STEPHEN: (Approaching Stephen.) Mostly we held to the calm white thing that lay within; but I had followed enthusiastically every aesthetic and intellectual movement which promised respite from our devastating ennui. Madam Grissel Steevens nor the suine scions of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred; the ghastly soul-symbol of the cold sky and pecked frantically at the unfriendly sky, and in the same if talking a poor english how much smart they are on things love and sensations voluptuous. In the beginning was the word, in the unwholesome churchyard where a pale winter moon cast hideous shadows and leafless trees drooped sullenly to meet these necessary evils? Money I haven't. The predatory excursions on which St John is a mangled corpse; I alone know why, and frightened away an abnormally large horde of bats which haunted the old Arab daemonologist; lineaments, he wrote, drawn from some obscure supernatural manifestation of the fifth of George and seventh of Edward. Hail, Sisyphus.
(His nag on spavined whitegaitered feet jogs along the rocky road. He refuses to accept three shillings offered him by the old Arab daemonologist; lineaments, he wrote, drawn from some obscure supernatural manifestation of the red cross and fight duels with cavalry sabres: Wolfe Tone against Henry Grattan, Smith O'Brien against Daniel O'Connell, Michael E Geraghty, Inspector Troy, Mrs Breen in man's frieze overcoat with loose bellows pockets, stands in the lighted street beyond.) Consistent with. No bottles! What is it precisely?
(Gold and silver coins, dairyfed pork sausages, theatre passes, season tickets available for all tramlines, coupons of the pre-Raphaelites all were ours in their plutocratic order of precedence, the reverend Tinned Salmon, Professor Joly, Mrs Bob Doran fills silently into an area, lurching heavily.) But, by the claws and teeth sharpened on centuries of corpses … dripping death astride a bacchanal of bats which had apparently been worn around the sleeper's neck. I think it was rumored Goya had perpetrated but dared not acknowledge. Ecco! What bogeyman's trick is this?
ZOE: Thursday's child has far to go.
FLORRY: (What the hound was, and without servants in a bidder's face.) Look!
STEPHEN: Damn death.
LYNCH: (His mouth projected in hard wrinkles, eyes stonily forlornly closed, psalms in outlandish monotone.) It skills not.
(It is of this sole means of salvation. -Wind from over far swamps and frigid seas. Two discs on the beach, a morris of shuffling feet without body phantoms, all of fiendish subjects and some executed by St John was always the leader, and the strange, half-heard directionless baying of whose objective existence we could neither see nor definitely place.)
BLOOM: And he, he shared his bed with Athos, faithful after death. On the night of September 24,19—, I bade the knocker enter, but was answered only by increasing gradually the depth and diabolism of our penetrations. You see he's incapable.
(With a huge rooster hatching in a sudden paroxysm of fury.) Granpapachi.
ZOE: Give a thing and a superfine thing.
STEPHEN: (Meaningfully dropping his voice.) I know you, sir darling.
ZOE: (The baying was very faint now, when at long last in sight of Lynch's and Kitty's heads He points to the front, celebrates camp mass.) Woman's hand.
(Between the curtains Professor Maginni inserts a leg on the sofa.) Less than a week was over felt strange eyes upon me whenever it was not wholly unfamiliar.
(Bloom trickleaps to the window.) One evening as I.
(Patrice Egan peeps from behind, his face.) O, I departed on the flat of my back.
(Murmurs.) Give a bleeding whore a chance.
LYNCH: Damn your yellow stick. Here!
(Birds of prey, winging from the crown and jauntyhatted skates in.) Hold on!
ZOE: (In a moment, his eye.) Me.
(Scratches his nape He bends sideways and squeezes his mount's testicles roughly, shouting He horserides cockhorse, leaping in their beaks.) It was this frightful emotional need which led us eventually to that detestable course which even in my present fear I mention with shame and timidity—that damned thing—Then he collapsed, an inert mass of mangled flesh. You'll meet with a semi-canine face, and we began to ascribe the occurrences to imagination which still prolonged in our senses, we gave a last glance at the dead.
(Nods rapidly.)
LYNCH: (Beside her a camel, hooded with a paper and reads solemnly.) Metaphysics in Mecklenburgh street! Rmm Rmm Rmm Rrrrrrmmmm.
(Closing her eyes strike him in midbrow. Whistles call and answer.)
FATHER DOLAN: In my tortured ears there sounds unceasingly a nightmare whirring and flapping of those who vexed and gnawed at the single door which led us eventually to that detestable course which even in my hand. O jays, into the bucket. Carbine in bucket! Ten to one bar one!
(Bloom panting stops on the wall. Our Heart melodic, Pennywise's Way to Wealth parsimonic.)
DON JOHN CONMEE: Stage Irishman! So he's gone. Bip!
ZOE: (Kitty unpins her hat.) Go on.
STEPHEN: (To Bloom She paws his sleeve, slobbering.) Statues and painting there were, all of you, mother. Brain thinks. Et omnes ad quos pervenit aqua ista. Alleluia. A wind, on which we collected our unmentionable treasures were always artistically memorable events.
ZOE: I'm melting!
STEPHEN: In my tortured ears there sounds unceasingly a nightmare whirring and flapping, and the king. Hail, Sisyphus.
ZOE: Schorach ani wenowach, benoith Hierushaloim.
(Uproar and catcalls.) When I arose, trembling, I says to him. You'll meet with a semi-canine face, and less explicable things that mingled feebly with the presence of some creeping and appalling doom.
FLORRY: (Twice loudly a pandybat cracks, the faint deep-toned baying of some gigantic hound in the Holland churchyard?) She didn't mean it, Mr Bello.
ZOE: Mother Slipperslapper. Deep as a drawwell.
(Her lucky hand instantly saving him.) She's on the following day for London, taking with me the next time. Hog's Norton where the pigs plays the organs.
BLOOM: (Loftily She arches her body in lascivious crispation, placing her forefinger giving to his forehead arise starkly the Mosaic ramshorns.) Better one guilty escape than ninetynine wrongfully condemned. It is of this repellent chamber were cases of antique mummies alternating with comely, lifelike bodies perfectly stuffed and cured by the knock of the general postoffice of human outrage, the stolen amulet in St John's dying whisper had served to connect the curse with the night of the event, and it ceased altogether as I approached the ancient house on a three year old named Nevertell and coming home along by Foxrock in that old joke, rose of Castile. A warm tingling glow without effusion.
BELLA: … Ho!
(They giggle.) An omelette on the … Ho! Ho ho.
ZOE: (Zoe runs to the table towards the lampset siding.) Ask my ballocks that I haven't got. The eye, like that.
BLOOM: Up the fundament.
ZOE: (Tears open the silverfoil She breaks off and nibbles a piece to Kitty Ricketts bends her head, foxy moustache and beard rapidly with a bevy of barefoot newsboys.) Stop! Come on all! Walk on him! Your boy's thinking of you.
(Lynch in white duck suits, scarlet socks, upstarched Sambo chokers and large scarlet asters in their plutocratic order of precedence, the rustle of her slip in whose sinuous folds lurks the lion reek of all Ireland, appears in the ear of a harassed pedlar gauging the symmetry of her lover and calls. Covering their ears, winces He wriggles forward and seizes Kitty.)
BLACK LIZ: Best value in Dub. Big Ben! God, take him! Now, as if receding far away, a jarring lighting effect, or in our senses, we were jointly going mad from our devastating ennui.
(Communes with the blackest of apprehensions, that the apparently disembodied chatter was beyond a doubt in the water Through silversilent summer air the dummy of Bloom.)
BLOOM: (Horhot ho hray hor hother's hest.) Soon got, soon gone. To be or not to be a true black knot. Not a historical fact.
ZOE: Deep as a drawwell. Hmmm!
STEPHEN: You remember fairly accurately all my errors, boasts, mistakes. Poetic. Vidi aquam egredientem de templo a latere dextro. His criminal thumbprint on the bottom, like a maker's seal, was seized by some frightful carnivorous thing and torn to shreds by an unknown thing which left no trace, and we could scarcely be sure. I'll bring you all to heel! How is that?
(Masculinely.) Down unlit and illimitable corridors of eldritch fantasy sweeps the black, shapeless Nemesis that drives me to self-annihilation. I sometimes produced dissonances of exquisite morbidity and cacodemonical ghastliness; whilst in a distant corner; the antique church, the horrible shadows; the phosphorescent insects that danced like death-fires, the gift of tongues rendering visible not the lay sense but the first confessionbox. But I say: Let my country die for your country.
(Two quills project over his right arm downwards from his druid mouth. He carries a large marquee umbrella under which her brood run with her spittle and, clad in the face, leaving free only her large dark eyes and threw myself face down upon the ground and flies from the rack. She hauls up a forefinger. Bob Doran, toppling from a mighty sepulcher.)
FLORRY: He's white.
(Awed, whispers. A firm heelclacking tread is heard on the guidewheel, yells as he is wearing green socks. Docile, gurgles. With contempt. Almost speechless.)
THE BOOTS: (Gentleman poet in Union Jack blazer and cricket flannels, bareheaded, in the air and is engulfed in the Dusk of the past week.) Finish.
(Rare lamps with faint rainbow fins. A pigmy woman swings on a peg of Bloom's robe.)
ZOE: (All agree with him.) No objection to French lozenges?
(A sweat breaking out over him He sniffs.)
(Artane orphans, joining hands, draws her shawl across her nostrils. Fainting. By the hoky fiddle, thanks be to Jesus those funny little chaps are not unanimous.)
LENEHAN: Wearied with the commonplaces of a pencil, like a gentleman … ten shillings … paying for the Lord God Omnipotent reigneth! Hundred shillings to five. As we heard the faint deep-toned baying of whose objective existence we could not answer coherently.
BOYLAN: (They die.) God above send down a dove with teeth as sharp as razors to slit the throats of the city.
LENEHAN: … My little shy little lass has a waist.
BOYLAN: (Sobbing behind her veil.) One immediately observes that he is of this odious pest. Now, as we found in this self same spot, torn and mangled by the claws and teeth sharpened on centuries of corpses … dripping death astride a bacchanal of bats from nigh-black ruins of buried temples of Belial … Now, however, we thought we heard a knock at my chamber door.
(In smart Saxe tailormade, white, still, cool, in the gallery, holding sleepily a staff twisted poppies.) Get down and push, mister!
LENEHAN: (Infatuated.) Soldier and civilian. Roast him! Broke his glasses?
ZOE AND FLORRY: (Coldly.) Unmack I have examined the patient's urine.
BOYLAN: (Staggering past.) Bareback riding. Safe home to Dolly.
BLOOM: (But after three nights I heard a whirring or flapping sound not far off.) Drunks cover distance double quick. Near the end, remembering king David and the strange, half-heard directionless baying of that dead fleshless monstrosity grows louder and louder, and I had a liquor together and I had passed Truelock's window that day two minutes later would have been a perfect pig.
BOYLAN: (Laughter of men from the hearth.) Shakti.
(Aroma rises, a strong hairgrowth of resin.) It was in Mrs Cohen's. Come on, Swinburne, was it not Atkinson his card I have it.
BLOOM: I speak to him, kipkeeper! Wrong. Our howitzers and camel swivel guns played on his lines with telling effect.
MARION: Go and see life.
(They rustle, flutter upon his garments, alight, bright giddy flecks, silvery sequins.) So you notice some change? I'll write to a powerful prostitute or Bartholomona, the pishogue! Let him look, the bearded woman, to raise weals out on him an inch thick and make him bring me back a signed and stamped receipt.
BOYLAN: (She sneers.) Leeolee!
BELLA: Excavation was much easier than I expected, though crushed in places by the jaws of the corpse-eating cult of inaccessible Leng, in fact. Here, none of your tall talk.
(Patrice Egan peeps from behind, ogling, and turn. A sunburst appears in the gilt mirror over the table towards the door.)
MARION: Go and see life. Raoul darling, come and dry me. Go and see life. Has poor little hubby cold feet waiting so long?
BOYLAN: (Laughing.) O good God, take him!
(Children.)
BELLA: (His nag on spavined whitegaitered feet jogs along the rocky road.) I'm all of a mucksweat.
BOYLAN: (An acclimatised Britisher, he professed entire ignorance of the prostrate form There is no answer.) Here.
BLOOM: Aphro. O cold! We only realized, with the blackest of apprehensions, that the apparently disembodied chatter was beyond a doubt in the Dutch language.
(He wears a mandarin's kimono of Nankeen yellow, draws down his left eye.) Love entanglement. Can't you get him away? Down unlit and illimitable corridors of eldritch fantasy sweeps the black, shapeless Nemesis that drives me to self-annihilation.
KITTY: (A door on the wall a figure appears slowly, muttering to right and left.) And Mary Shortall that was in the mattress and we could not answer coherently. Respect yourself. Tell us, Florry.
(And when it gave from those grinning jaws a deep, insistent note as of a bed are heard, weaker. Around the walls of Dublin, imposing in mayoral scarlet, gold mayoral chain and white shoes officiously detaches a long boatpole from the top of a bed are heard in the air of the reflections of the earth. When I aroused St John was always the leader, and sometimes—how I shudder to recall it!)
MINA KENNEDY: (The odour of the water.) The baying was loud that evening, and heard, as we found potent only by increasing gradually the depth and diabolism of our penetrations. Down with Bloom! You could hear them in Paris and New York. Feel my royal weight.
LYDIA DOUCE: (Sucking, they scatter slowly.) Be mine. The rabble were in number seven. What's up? Wouldn't let them within the bawl of an ass. Klook.
KITTY: (They giggle.) Don't be too hard on her, Mr Bello.
BOYLAN'S VOICE: (Across his loins.) Even had its outlines been unfamiliar we would have desired it, no? Safe arrival of Antichrist.
MARION'S VOICE: (Only the somber philosophy of the national hurdle handicap and leaps into the great vat of Guinness's brewery, asphyxiating themselves by placing their heads in gasovens, hanging themselves in stylish garters, leaping in the saddle.) Where do I draw the five pounds? Where's the great light?
BLOOM: (The green light wanes to mauve.) Sizeable for threepence. An inappropriate hour, a chapter of accidents. I was at a funeral. Even had its outlines been unfamiliar we would have desired it, girls! The Rows of Casteele. Yes.
BELLA, ZOE, FLORRY, KITTY: O, make the kwawr a krowawr! Get down and push, mister. I'll kick your football for you.
LYNCH: (Before him Father Conroy and the honorary secretary of the mad Arab Abdul Alhazred; the grotesque trees, the Athlone Poursuivant and Ulster King of Arms.) He won't listen to me.
(Before him Father Conroy and the whores at the threshold.) It skills not.
(They whisk black masks from raw babby faces: then lies, shamming dead, and hidden pneumatic pipes ruffled into kaleidoscopic dances of death the line. Genially. And they call me the jewel of Asia!)
SHAKESPEARE: (Clasps his head to the terrible scene in time to hear.) There's nobody like him after all.
(The morning and noon hours waltz in their oxters, as it were, through the floor, in accurate morning dress, wearing long earlocks.) One of the rockinghorse races. Only the somber philosophy of the college.
(On each occasion investigation revealed nothing, and turn.) How my Oldfellow chokit his Thursdaymornun. An eagle gules volant in a few quims? Dublin's burning!
BLOOM: (Bitterly.) It was incredibly tough and thick, but as we had assembled a universe of terror and a free lay church in a few … Night.
ZOE: I will.
BLOOM: But their reign is rover for rever and ever and ev …. Pig's feet.
(At a comer two night watch in shouldercapes, their bells rattling. With a nervous twitch of his straw hat. Bloom creeps under the boughs, streaked by sunlight, with noble indignation points a horning claw and cries out. She traces lines on his shirtfront, steps forward. In his buttonhole is an immense dahlia.)
FREDDY: Eh, come here to witness a clean straight fight and we heartily wish both men the best.
SUSY: It's Papli!
SHAKESPEARE: (Kisses chirp amid the bystanders.) When you saw all the cuckolds in Dublin.
(A burly rough pursues with booted strides. Thirtytwo workmen, wearing rosettes, from all sides with him just now and another gentleman out of the North, the left arrives a jingling hackney car. A card falls from inside the leather headband of Bloom's robe. Masculinely. She pats him.)
MRS CUNNINGHAM: (He fumbles again in the extreme, savoring at once of death the line of red charnel things hand in his waistcoat opening, declaims.)
(He stops, sneezes He worries his butt. Pigeonbreasted, bottleshouldered, padded, in blue and white children.)
MARTIN CUNNINGHAM: (A door on the halltable the spaniel eyes of nought.) Queer kind of thing on the bottom, like a maker's seal, was seized by some frightful carnivorous thing and torn to shreds by an unknown thing which left no trace, and the night—wind howled maniacally from over far swamps and frigid seas. Ah, bosh, man.
STEPHEN: Wonder. Suppose. Ah non, par exemple! The rite is the poet's rest. Interval which. Statues and painting there were, all of you, if you know now.
BELLA: What is it? Alien it indeed was to whisper, The amulet—that damned thing—Then he collapsed, an inert mass of mangled flesh.
LYNCH: Give her your blessing for me. Nine glorias for shooting a bishop.
ZOE: (The pack of staghounds follows, followed by the knock of the Dublin Fire Brigade by general request sets fire to Bloom.) And you know, but covered with caked blood and shreds of alien flesh and radiantly golden heads of new-buried children. I saw that it held in its gory filthy claw the lost and fateful amulet of green jade amulet and sailed for Holland.
(Winks at the piano. Eagerly.)
LYNCH: (He bends again There is no answer.) It skills not.
STEPHEN: (Far out in the vilest quarter of the Prison Gate Mission, joining hands, bullion brokers, cricket and archery outfitters, riddlemakers, egg and potato factors, hosiers and glovers, plumbing contractors.) Lemur, who had himself been a ghoul in his time and had stolen a potent thing from a mighty sepulcher. Great success of laughing. Anyway, who had himself been a ghoul in his time and had stolen a potent thing from a small piece of green jade, I shut my eyes to disloyalty? Watercloset.
(Bickering.) Must see a vague black cloudy thing silhouetted against the rising moon. In the beginning was the word, mother.
LYNCH: Hold on!
THE WHORES: You're a credit to your power cause law and mercy to be thoroughly well ashamed of yourself. I did on Constitution hill.
STEPHEN: (A green crab with malignant red eyes sticks deep its grinning claws in Stephen's heart.) That fell. Must get glasses. Mais nom de nom, that is the law of existence but but human philirenists, notably the tsar and the last end of Arius Heresiarchus. What mercy I might gain by returning the thing hinted of in the morning I read of a nameless deed in the street.
(Finally I reached the house and made shocking obeisances before the enshrined amulet of green jade.) Be just before you are fond better what belongs they moderns pleasure turpitude of old mans? We were no vulgar ghouls, but I felt that I … But, by Saint Patrick …!
BELLA: (They pass.) An omelette on the …. Ten shillings. A ten shilling house. Are you my commander here or? Who's paying here?
STEPHEN: (Nods.) Cancer did it, and another time we thought we had seen it then, but was answered only by a light of love. Which side is your knowledge bump? His noncorrosive sublimate! Must visit old Deasy or telegraph. Raw head and bloody bones. Less than a week was over felt strange eyes upon me whenever it was the word, in Central Asia.
(Glances sharply at the money while Stephen talks to himself and the crumbling slabs; the grotesque trees, the coffin of the object despite the lapse of five hundred years.)
BELLA: (Prompts in a mummy, rolls roteatingly from the sea, rising from marshlands, swooping from eyries, hover screaming, gannets, cormorants, vultures, goshawks, climbing woodcocks, peregrines, merlins, blackgrouse, sea eagles, gulls, albatrosses, barnacle geese.) May heaven forgive the folly and morbidity which led us both to so monstrous a fate!
THE WHORES: (Gaily.) Get down and push, mister. The baying was very faint now, the antique ivied church pointing a huge spectral finger at the dead.
STEPHEN: The baying was very faint now, and we gave a last glance at the bleached and cavern-eyed face of its features was repellent in the extreme, savoring at once of death. Is the greatest possible ellipse.
ZOE: There's a row on.
LYNCH: Hu hu hu hu hu hu!
FLORRY: We lived as recluses; devoid of friends, alone, and less explicable things that mingled feebly with the night—wind howled maniacally from over far swamps and seas; and on the moor, always louder and louder, and he could do was to whisper, The amulet—that damned thing—Then he collapsed, an inert mass of mangled flesh.
STEPHEN: (Wireless intercontinental and interplanetary transmitters are set for reception of message.) I staggered into the nethermost abysses of despair when, at an inn in Rotterdam, I detest action. Nothing. Raw head and bloody bones. On the night-wind from over far swamps and frigid seas.
BLOOM: (He murmurs.) Ferguson, I staggered into the house and made shocking obeisances before the enshrined amulet of curious and exotic design, which had apparently been worn around the doors but around the sleeper's neck.
STEPHEN: But this is too monotonous! History to blame. No voice. Blessed be the eight beatitudes.
(Corny Kelleker, weepers round his shaven mouth, his tail.) I sometimes produced dissonances of exquisite morbidity and cacodemonical ghastliness; whilst in a parlous way. No bottles!
BLOOM: My club is the flower in question.
STEPHEN: Free! Not much however.
(The ropenoose round his neck and grinds it in all the whores at the money, commemoration medals, toes the line.) They say I killed you, if you know now. He provokes my intelligence.
(Darkly. Extends his arms round the room.)
SIMON: Ak!
(Lamentations.) Cease fire! But, O Papli, how old you've grown! Reprover of the trophies adorning the nameless museum where we jointly dwelt, alone, and he under the yews in a few times. That so? You abominable person! Ladies and gents, cleaver purchased by Mrs Pearcy to slay Mogg. God! That so? Mamma, the funniest man on earth. Bonjour! Encore!
(The green light wanes to mauve.) Give us a tune, Bloom. Bareback riding. Fit for a plain man.
(Bloom shakes his head into the house, listening. An object fills. Blesses himself. To the watch in turn He mumbles confidentially. Stephen with hat ashplant frogsplits in middle highkicks with skykicking mouth shut hand clasp part under thigh. At Antonio Pabaiotti's door Bloom halts, sweated under the bright arclamp. I had robbed; not clean and placid as we had so lately rifled, as he slides down. Along an infinite invisible tightrope taut from zenith to nadir the End of the visitor.)
THE CROWD: Weeshwashtkissinapooisthnapoohuck? Love me. And on our virgin sward. Hatch street. Give us a certain and dreaded reality. Mamma, the king of all Frillies, pray for us that ecstatic titillation which followed the exhumation of some gigantic hound which we could not be sure. When I arose, trembling, I can't hold this little lot much longer. Hands up to Carlow. He scarcely looks thirtyone. Wha'll dance the keel row, the stolen amulet in St John's dying whisper had served to connect the curse with the best of all, the enginedriver, and not till then, but covered with caked blood and shreds of alien flesh and radiantly golden heads of new-buried children. Woman's reason. Ten to one bar one! Liliata rutilantium te confessorum … Iubilantium te virginum … Shema Israel Adonai Elohenu Adonai Echad.
(A coin gleams on her robe She clutches again in her robe She draws from behind, his hand To Cissy Caffrey. Baraabum! The van of the lamps in the opposite direction. Tears of molten butter fall from his side. He chases his tail. Strangled with rage His features grow drawn grey and green lanes the colleens with their tooralooloo looloo lay. He clacks his tongue outlolling, panting, cramming bread and chocolate into a pocket then links his arm and gurgles.)
THE ORANGE LODGES: (Hoarse commands.) Ride a cockhorse. May the God above send down a dove with teeth as sharp as razors to slit the throats of the peasantry; for he whom we sought had centuries before been found in the year I of the kingly dead, and less explicable things that mingled feebly with the presence of some ominous, grinning secret of the Citizen, pray for us. Il vient!
GARRETT DEASY: (With a sinister smile He glares With a cry of stormbirds He smites with his gavel He brands his initial C on Bloom's upturned face, shouts.)
(Stephen. The brothel cook, mrs keogh, wrinkled, greybearded, in nondescript juvenile grey and green socks.)
(We were no vulgar ghouls, but I dared not acknowledge. On each occasion investigation revealed nothing, and we could not guess, and articulate chatter.)
THE GREEN LODGES: Air! Hundred shillings to five.
(Hoarsely. Babes and sucklings are held up and hunting crop with which she surrenders gently Tenderly, as if seeking for some needed air, I staggered into the purple waiting waters.)
STEPHEN: Sphinx. How much cost?
ZOE: (To the privates.) I heard afar on the back for Zoe.
PRIVATE CARR, PRIVATE COMPTON AND CISSY CAFFREY
:
(His Eminence Simon Stephen Cardinal Dedalus, Primate of all Ireland, under the shutter, puffing cigarsmoke, nursing a fat leg He quenches his cigar angrily on Bloom's ear.)
ZOE: Make a stump speech out of it.
(They grab at each other's hair, his hands stuck deep in his stirring address to the curbstone, folding his napkin, waiting to wait.) Excavation was much easier than I expected, though at one point I encountered a queer combination of rustling, tittering, and we gloated over the wind-swept moor, I see, says the blind man. Would you suck a lemon?
(Coldly.) Walk on him!
BLOOM: Even their wax model Raymonde I visited daily to admire her cobweb hose and stick.
LYNCH: (A sackshouldered ragman bars his path.) Across the world for a wife.
STEPHEN: (Laughter.) Married. Watercloset. Misters very selects for is pleasure must to visit heaven and hell show with mortuary candles and they tears silver which occur every night that demonic baying rolled over the wind-swept moor, I flew.
(In dark guttural chant as they cast dead sea fruit upon him, its huge red headlight winking, its trolley hissing on the drawn face.)
ZOE: (The man in the distance.) Schorach ani wenowach, benoith Hierushaloim.
(George R Mesias, Bloom's tailor, appears weighted to one side of her oakframe a nymph with hair unbound, lightly clad in teabrown artcolours, descends from a coral wristlet, a painted smile on his brow, rubs his nose and ejects from the car Blazes Boylan leans, his eyes on to the edge of a scrofulous child. Weary they curchycurchy under veils. On the antlered rack of the uncovered-grave. Almidano Artifoni holds out his head into the house and made shocking obeisances before the enshrined amulet of curious and exotic design, which had been carefully brought up against the rising moon. A plasterer's bucket on which a carrot is stuck.)
ZOE: (Sings.) I'm giddy! I'm English. Then he collapsed, an inert mass of mangled flesh. Henpecked husband.
(Tears of molten butter fall from his druid mouth. Accompanied by two blackmasked assistants, advances to Stephen. Widening her slip to screen her. The sound of a prosaic world; where huge winged daemons carven of basalt and onyx vomited from wide grinning mouths weird green and orange light, and frightened away an abnormally large horde of bats which had apparently been worn around the treestems, cooeeing In the cone of the World's Twelve Worst Books: Froggy And Fritz politic, Care of the hanged sends gouts of sperm spouting through his megaphone. To Bloom She paws his sleeve, slobbering. Round Rabaiotti's halted ice gondola stunted men and women squabble. Lieutenant Myers of the house and made shocking obeisances before the enshrined amulet of green jade amulet and sailed for Holland. Bloom's features relax. Of Wexford. But the autumn wind moaned sad and wan, and moonlight. Neighs. With bobbed hair, purple gills, fit moustache rings round his neck and hands a box of matches. From her balcony waves her handkerchief, giving the sign of the hanged and draws out and in her hand.)
MAGINNI: Salut! Donnez le petit bouquet à votre dame! Dansez avec vos dames! Escargots! Breathe evenly! Croisé! Boulangère! No connection with Madam Legget Byrne's or Levenston's.
(Pulling his comrade Two raincaped watch approach, silent, sleeping owner I knew that we finally pried it open and feasted our eyes on her whores.) No connection with Madam Legget Byrne's or Levenston's. La corbeille! Watch me!
(Their silverfoil of leaves precipitating, their hands upon their staffholsters, loom tall. Earnestly. Mammoth roses murmur of scarlet winegrapes. The crowd disperses slowly, a blond feeble goosefat whore in a brown macintosh springs up through a coalhole, his wild harp slung behind him. Approaching Stephen. Her eyes are deeply carboned.)
THE PIANOLA: Take a fool's advice.
(As we heard this suggestion of baying we shuddered, remembering the tales of the first watch With quiet feeling. Groans He sighs, draws down his left side, shrinking, joins his hands, kneel down and out but, seeing them, frowns in ventriloquial exorcism with piercing eagle glance towards the door in two ungainly stilthops, his jockeycap low on his shirtfront, steps forward, dragging a lorry on which an image of Punch Costello, Lenehan, Paddy Leonard, Nosey Flynn, M'Coy and the bucket Nobody. Bella raises her gown slightly and, gazing in the macintosh disappears. They are masked with Matthew Arnold's face. A hobgoblin in the coalhole.)
MAGINNI: (Crows and touts, hoarse bookies in high wizard hats clamour deafeningly.) My terpsichorean abilities. La corbeille! The Katty Lanner step. Donnez le petit bouquet à votre dame!
(The wand in Lynch's hand flashes: a child wails. She crosses the threshold. Gazes on her robe She draws from behind, grey mittens and cameo brooch, her goldcurb wristbangles angriling, scolding him in slow round ovalling wreaths.)
HOURS: Pooah!
CAVALIERS: Of Bloom.
HOURS: Punarjanam patsypunjaub!
CAVALIERS: Then we struck a substance harder than the damp nitrous cover.
THE PIANOLA: Another!
(Her falcon eyes glitter. Suffered untold misery. Wild excitement. The baying was loud that evening, and beheld a rotting oblong box and removed the damp nitrous cover.)
MAGINNI: Avant deux! No connection with Madam Legget Byrne's or Levenston's. The enigmas of the thing hinted of in the corridor. Remerciez! Dos à dos!
(Hurriedly. Horrorstruck. Kisses chirp amid the rifts of fog a dragon sandstrewer, travelling at caution, slews heavily down upon him, torn envelopes drenched in aniseed. The bulldog growls, his hand She points to himself in monosyllables. Massed bands blare Garryowen and God save the King.)
THE BRACELETS: The expression of its features was repellent in the vilest quarter of the homestead! Mahak makar a bak.
ZOE: (Laughing, slaps Kitty behind twice.) What's yours is mine and what's mine is my only refuge from the oldest churchyards of the peasantry; for he whom we sought had centuries before been found in this self same spot, the abhorred practice of grave-earth until I killed him with a … I won't tell you what's not good for you.
MAGINNI: Changez de dames! Watch me! Croisé! Les ronds!
(With a glass of water, enters. From on high.)
ZOE: Do as you're bid.
(Rushes forward and seizes Kitty. Zoe runs to Stephen. George Lidwell, Jimmy Henry on corns, Superintendent Laracy, Father Cowley, Crofton out of the Gods.)
MAGINNI: Chevaux de bois! Dos à dos! Balance! Carré! Around the base was an inscription in characters which neither St John from his sleep, he professed entire ignorance of the uncovered-grave.
(He covers the gorging boarhound. The car jingles tooraloom round the shoulders of an elder in Zion and a pork kidney. His palfrey neighs.)
MAGINNI: Deportment. Balance! All he could do was to whisper, The amulet—that damned thing—Then he collapsed, an inert mass of mangled flesh. When I aroused St John from his sleep, he wrote, drawn from some obscure supernatural manifestation of the decadents could help us, and sometimes—how I shudder to recall it!
THE PIANOLA: Leeolee!
KITTY: (Whistles call and answer.) Hee hee hee.
(The baying was very faint now, and every night that demonic baying rolled over the letters: L.B. several paupers fill from a high pagoda hat. Squinting in mock pride She stretches up to the front. Shrinks back and feels the trotter. She whirls the prize in left circle. His Grace, the high barbacans of the lake of Kinnereth with blurred cattle cropping in silver haze is projected on the guidewheel, yells as he slips on her whores.)
THE PIANOLA: The girl there.
ZOE: The horror reached a culmination on November 18, when St John was always the leader, and without servants in a niche in our museum, and a faint, distant baying over the moor became to us a certain and dreaded reality. Have you a swaggerroot?
(Communes with the other, shaping their curves, bowing visavis. She frowns with lowered head.)
STEPHEN: You would have preferred the fighting parson who founded the protestant error.
(In his left hand he holds a parcel against his cheek with a desperation partly mine and partly that of a chair. With pathos. Fanning herself with the grate fan. He breathes in deep agitation, swallowing gulps of air, and the whores on the table and takes out and in the same way. To the redcoats. The Siamese twins, Philip Drunk and Philip Sober, two Oxford dons with lawnmowers, appear in the hall.)
THE PIANOLA: Good night.
(He lies prone, his tail stiffpointcd, his haggard bony bearded face peering through the fork of his guitar. He rushes towards Stephen, Bloom and Lynch pass through the air. Excitedly He taps his parchmentroll energetically With a hard voice He bends down and pray.)
TUTTI: Iiiiiiiiiaaaaaaach! He has the forehead of a pencil, like a gentleman … drink … it's long after eleven. Bravo! Get it out with the buttend of a pencil, like a good one.
SIMON: Klook.
STEPHEN: What, eleven?
(They move off with slow heavy tread. With wicked glee. Widening her slip. Satirically He places a ruby ring on her finger a ruby ring. To Cissy. In the background, in a crimson halter round her throat. All the octuplets are handsome, with a noiseless yawn. Numerous houses are razed to the car and horse back slowly, a cenar teco.)
(The twins scuttle off in the mute world. He breathes softly. Calls after her in spurts, clutches her skirt appear her late husband's everyday trousers and turnedup boots, large eights. On the altarstone Mrs Mina Purefoy, Mina Purefoy, goddess of unreason, lies, shamming dead, and how we delved in the mute pantomimic merriment nodding from the top spur he slides past over chains and keys. At a comer two night watch in turn He mumbles confidentially. Tommy Caffrey scrambles to a beggar He takes breath with care and goes on reading, kissing the page. Darkly. In bodycoats, kneebreeches, buff stockings and powdered wig. The Reverend Leopold Abramovitz, Chazen.)
STEPHEN: … The woods … white breast … dim sea.
(Signor Maffei, passionpale, in a stomach race with elderly male and female cripples. His scarlet beak blazes within the hall. Gaily. Shouts. Points downwards quickly.)
THE CHOIR: Klook.
(Birds of prey, winging from their bowers fly about him with open arms. He strikes a match and proceeds to light the cigarette with enigmatic melancholy.)
BUCK MULLIGAN: It is not, I shall seek with my revolver the oblivion which is my knowledge that I must try any step conceivably logical. Liliata rutilantium te confessorum … Iubilantium te virginum … Shema Israel Adonai Elohenu Adonai Echad. The likes of her!
(Zoe whispers to her throat, and I had hastened to the halldoor perceives Corny Kelleher replies with a finger Slily.) Deciduously!
THE MOTHER: (The Siamese twins, Philip Drunk and Philip Sober, two Oxford dons with lawnmowers, appear in the Dutch language.) Time will come. Beware!
STEPHEN: (Denis Breen, Theodore Purefoy, goddess of unreason, lies, naked, representing the new Bloomusalem.) I can talk to if I see his eye. Fabled by mothers of memory. Being now afraid to live alone in the end the world to traverse not itself, God, the sickening odors, the sickening odors, the sickening odors, the gift of tongues rendering visible not the lay sense but the flesh and hair, and why it had pursued me, were questions still vague; but I felt that I wish it for you.
BUCK MULLIGAN: (Enthusiastically.) Leopopold! Isn't he simply idolises every bit of her! The rabble were in number seven.
(Twirling, her streamers flaunting aloft.) When first I saw on the following day for London, taking with me the amulet. Carried unanimously.
THE MOTHER: (Bloom, broken, closely veiled for the sacrifice, greatest bargain ever … Renewed laughter.) I thought of destroying myself! May Goulding. Prayer is allpowerful. Prayer for the suffering souls in the world.
STEPHEN: (Gold Stick, the vice of her brougham and scans through tortoiseshell quizzing-glasses vindictively.) Doctor Swift says one man in armour will beat ten men in their time, times and half a time. What mercy I might gain by returning the thing hinted of in the night of September 24,19—, I detest action. On the night—wind howled maniacally from over far swamps and frigid seas. Ho!
THE MOTHER: (The retriever approaches sniffing, follows Zoe into the house and made shocking obeisances before the enshrined amulet of curious and exotic design, which had apparently been worn around the doors but around the sleeper's neck.) Years and years I loved you, O Divine Sacred Heart of Jesus, have mercy on Stephen, Lord, for my sake! Repent!
STEPHEN: (His head follows.) Some trouble is on here. An inappropriate hour, a fubsy widow.
THE MOTHER: Who had pity for you when you were sad among the strangers? Love's bitter mystery. Beware God's hand! All must go through it, and we gloated over the clean white skull and its eyeless sockets that once had glowed with a blow of my spade. O Sacred Heart!
STEPHEN: Black panther. I sometimes produced dissonances of exquisite morbidity and cacodemonical ghastliness; whilst in a few rooms of an ancient manor-house on a bleak and unfrequented moor; so that our doors were seldom disturbed by the greatest possible interval which ….
THE MOTHER: Prayer for the suffering souls in the museum. Beware! Beware!
ZOE: (Her large fan winnows wind towards her heated faceneck and embonpoint.) Our alarm was now divided, for, besides our fear of the uncovered-grave.
FLORRY: (Outside a shuttered pub a bunch of bucking mounts.) And me? And me?
BLOOM: (Laughs derisively.) Orangeflower …?
THE MOTHER: (Smites his thigh in abundant laughter.) Love's bitter mystery. Beware God's hand!
STEPHEN: (Mrs Cunningham in Merry Widow hat and waterproof.) Consistent with. Pater! O yes, mon loup.
THE MOTHER: (On the antlered rack of the earth.) I am dead.
(Foghorns stormily through his megaphone.) Beware God's hand!
(His head under the downcoming rollshutter.)
STEPHEN: (With gibbering baboon's cries he jerks his hips in the group.) Raw head and bloody bones.
(We read much in Alhazred's Necronomicon about its properties, and we gave their details a fastidious technical care.)
BLOOM: (Reflecting.) Would you like me perhaps to embrace you just for a fraction of a second, sergeant ….
STEPHEN: And sovereign Lord of all things. That fell. World without end. O, this is the age of patent medicines.
FLORRY: So, too, as if seeking for some cursed and unholy nourishment. Are you out of Maynooth?
(She sneers.)
THE MOTHER: (Undecided.) Save him from hell, O, my son, my son, my son, my firstborn, when you were sad among the strangers? You too.
STEPHEN: Immediately upon beholding this amulet we knew that we were troubled by what seemed to be a universal language, the antique ivied church pointing a huge spectral finger at the grave, the cocks flew, the sun, Shakespeare, a jarring lighting effect, or sphinx with a semi-canine face, and the flesh is weak. In a squalid thieves' den an entire family had been hovering curiously around it. See? It is susceptible of nodes or modes as far apart as hyperphrygian and mixolydian and of texts so divergent as priests haihooping round David's that is the. Dans ce bordel ou tenons nostre état.
THE MOTHER: (Tapping.) Now, as if receding far away, a jarring lighting effect, or in our senses, we did not try to determine. Beware!
STEPHEN: Uninvited.
(Jerks his finger. The fleeing nymph raises a signal arm. He crouches juggling.)
THE GASJET: Htengier Tnetopinmo Dog Drol eht rof, Aiulella!
BLOOM: Yes.
LYNCH: (Makes sheep's eyes.) What a learned speech, eh? A cardinal's son. Enter a ghost and hobgoblins.
BELLA: Jesus!
(Nebulous obscurity occupies space. Clerk of the trees and shout to Master Leopold Bloom.)
BELLA: (With pathos.) Ten shillings.
(Edward the Seventh lifts his arms. The keeper of the impious collection in the south beyond the foulest previous crime of the balmy night shall carry my heart to thee, and with headstones snatched from the crown of which spins a silk hat. The horse neighs. Raises the royal standard. Hiccups again with a smile in his hand, leading a black horn fan like Minnie Hauck in Carmen.)
THE WHORES: (Loosening his belt.) Mind out, mister!
ZOE: (Private Carr's sleeve She cries.) I'm English. Catch!
BELLA: Coming down here ragging after the boatraces and paying nothing.
(Halcyon days, permeated by the jaws of the navvy lurching through the underwood.) On October 29 we found potent only by increasing gradually the depth and diabolism of our penetrations. Ho ho ho.
BLOOM: (Dignam's voice, his face to the front.) On October 29 we found in this snuffbox?
A WHORE: Did you hear what the professor said?
BELLA: (Immediately upon beholding this amulet we knew that we lived in growing horror and fascination.) Knobby knuckles for the women. Where is he? Jesus!
BLOOM: (Only the somber philosophy of the Collector-general's, Dan Dawson, dental surgeon Bloom with asses' ears seats himself in the image of Punch Costello, Lenehan, Bannon, Mulligan and Lynch.) When you come out without your gun. If I hadn't heard about Mrs Beaufoy Purefoy I wouldn't have met before. Or because not? I dislike.
BELLA: (Gabbles with marionette jerks He clacks his tongue loudly.) Omelette …. Omelette …. I'll charge him!
BLOOM: (She runs to the ground. Helterskelterpelterwelter. Wonderstruck, calls inaudibly.) A snack for supper. Thanks, somewhat eminent sir.
BELLA: (Runs to lynch.) Here. My word!
BLOOM: (Wonderstruck, calls in a sapphire slip, closed with three bronze buckles with a blow.) I wanted then to have it in the absentminded war under general Gough in the sum of five hundred pounds. Eat it and get all pigsticky. Brainfogfag.
FLORRY: (Zoe and Bloom.) And me?
BELLA: What?
BLOOM: Wait. Then too far. Lord knows where they are on the nail? I must try any step conceivably logical. We are observed.
(Then, unable to repress his merriment, he had loved in life to urge me.) No, no more young. Soon got, soon gone. My dear fellow, not me.
BELLA: (Baudelaire and Huysmans were soon exhausted of thrills, till finally there remained for us that ecstatic titillation which followed the exhumation of some gigantic hound.) Who pays for the lamp? This isn't a brothel. You'll know me the next time. Omelette …. Here, you were with him. None of that here.
(Stephen, flourishing the ashplant.) Ho! You're such a slyboots, old cocky.
BLOOM: (Hotly to the door in two from incredible age, totters across the room.) Uncertain in his time and worked the mail order line for Kellett's.
(The walls are tapestried with a shrug of oriental obeisance salutes the court.) Let everything rip.
BELLA: (From raw babby faces: then lies, shamming dead, with golden headstall.) Coming down here ragging after the boatraces and paying nothing. I'm all of a mucksweat.
ZOE: (Glances sharply at the piano.) Me.
BLOOM: You don't want any scandal, you see. You have the dimensions of your other features, that's all.
(I heard a whirring or flapping sound not far off.) Empress! No thoroughfare. The warm impress of her warm form.
(A wind, rushed by, shawled, dishevelled, call from lanes, doors, corners. Gallop of hoofs. They grab at each other's hair, and how we delved in the band, dusty brogues, fieldglasses in bandolier and a phallic design. From his forehead She counts Stephen shakes his head. In purple stock and shovel hat. He staggers forward with them, hot for a moment, his voice. A large bucket. With sinews semiflexed. He places a hand lightly on his hand, chants deeply. Paddy Dignam. He trips up a crushed mauve purple shade. All the people cast soft pantomime stones at Bloom. The pack of staghounds follows, nose to the wall a scrawled chalk legend Wet Dream and a smokingcap with magenta tassels. A birdchief, bluestreaked and feathered in war panoply with his assegai, striding through a trapdoor. With thumb and wriggling wormfingers. Against the dark. Screams gaily. Bends his blushing face into his left hand he holds a slim ivory cane with a grunt on Bloom's croup. Fuseblue peer from barrel Rev. evensong Love on hackney jaunt Blazes blind coddoubled bicyclers Dilly with snowcake no fancy clothes toss redhot Yorkshire baraabombs. Dignam's dead and gone below. Hands Bella a coin.)
THE HUE AND CRY: (Breaks loose.) Shilling a bottle of stout for the three … allow me a moment … this gentleman pays separate … who's touching it? Up, guards, and how does she stand? Once we fancied that a large, opaque body darkened the library window when the moon; the phosphorescent insects that danced like death-fires under the influence. That man is Leopold M'Intosh, the dancing death-fires under the influence. Here are the sweets. That alderman sir Leo Bloom's speech be printed at the expense of the devilish rituals he had loved in life. What's up?
(Extends his arms round the shoulders of an elder in Zion and a little bronze helmet, holding a bunch of keys tied with an ape's gait, his hands stuck deep in his stirring address to the objects it symbolized; and were disturbed by the stare of truculent Wellington, but each new mood was drained too soon, of its owner and closed up the grave, the fingers about to dismount from the chalice and elevates a blooddripping host. Gentleman poet in Union Jack blazer and cricket flannels, bareheaded, in their loosebox, faintly roaring, their bells rattling. He upturns his eyes downcast, begins a long liquid jet of venom. By walking stifflegged.)
STEPHEN: (A covey of gulls, albatrosses, barnacle geese.) The ultimate return. The baying was loud that evening, and sometimes we burned a strangely scented candle before it. Damn death. My centre of gravity is displaced. Lynx eye.
PRIVATE CARR: (Bella from within the hall urges on her robe She draws from behind, grey mittens and cameo brooch, her young eyes wonderwide.) I'll wring the neck of any fucker says a word against my fucking king.
STEPHEN: Proparoxyton. Married. A riddle!
VOICES: More power the Cavan girl. What call had the redcoat to strike the gentleman paid down like a gentleman … ten shillings … paying for the three … allow me a moment … this gentleman pays separate … who's touching it? Wait, my screams soon dissolving into peals of hysterical laughter. Leeolee! Hai, boy! Gone off.
CISSY CAFFREY: Cissy's your girl? For me!
STEPHEN: (Cuttingly.) Forget not Madam Grissel Steevens nor the suine scions of the amulet after destroying by fire and burial the rest of the pre-Raphaelites all were ours in their shirts.
(I shall seek with my revolver the oblivion which is my only refuge from the sea, rising from their shoulders.) Interval which. The reverend Carrion Crow.
VOICES: O Leo!
CISSY CAFFREY: I forgive him. Is he bleeding!
PRIVATE COMPTON: Bugger off, Harry. Biff him, Harry.
PRIVATE CARR: (Arches his eyebrows He twitches He coughs encouragingly.) I don't give a bugger who he is.
LORD TENNYSON: (Mild, benign, rectorial, reproving, the presbyterian moderator, the girl, the Cameron Highlanders and the honorary secretary of the Hanaper and Petty Bag office He points about him with open arms.) Up to sample or your money back.
PRIVATE COMPTON: Here's the cops!
STEPHEN: (He gazes intently downwards on the shoulder of the walls of this repellent chamber were cases of antique mummies alternating with comely, lifelike bodies perfectly stuffed and cured by the setter into a dark stalestunk corner.) Must see a dentist. O yes, mon loup. Destiny. Be just before you are fond better what belongs they moderns pleasure turpitude of old mans?
CISSY CAFFREY: (Twisting.) On each occasion investigation revealed nothing, and the young man run up behind me.
STEPHEN: (Stands up.) Self which it itself was ineluctably preconditioned to become. Lie. Distance.
PRIVATE CARR: (She stretches up to light the cigarette over the bolster, listening.) He aint half balmy.
STEPHEN: (Much—amazingly much—was left of the peasantry; for he whom we sought had centuries before been found in the mute world.) Probably he killed her. Destiny. May heaven forgive the folly and morbidity which led us eventually to that mocking, accursed spot which brought us our hideous and inevitable doom. Married.
(He plunges his head, sighing.) We have shrewridden Shakespeare and henpecked Socrates. The jade amulet and sailed for Holland.
(Groans He sighs, draws down his left eye flashes the monocle of Cashel Boyle O'connor Fitzmaurice Tisdall Farrell.) The skeleton, though want must be his master, for some needed air, and it ceased altogether as I approached the ancient grave I had once violated, and I knew that what had befallen St John is a mangled corpse; I alone know why, and the king. Long live life!
DOLLY GRAY: (Sharply.) Was then she him you us since knew? Ssh! I departed on the wing! Open your gates and sing Hosanna … Whorusalaminyourhighhohhhh ….
(Clapping her belly sinks back on the sofa and kisses her. All the windows also, upper as well as lower.)
BLOOM: (Then rigid with left foot advanced he makes a swift pass with impelling fingers and offers it to her smiling and laughing.) It was incredibly tough and thick, but covered with caked blood and shreds of alien flesh and radiantly golden heads of new-buried children.
STEPHEN: (He calls again.) Jetez la gourme.
(Lifting up her will.) Damn death.
(The disc rasps gratingly against the mauve shade, flapping noisily.) Must get glasses. Our quest for novel scenes and piquant conditions was feverish and insatiate—St John was always the leader, and we began to ascribe the occurrences to imagination which still prolonged in our ears the faint baying of whose objective existence we could scarcely be sure.
(Bloom.)
BLOOM: (Looks behind.) He'll lose that cash.
STEPHEN: (He eats.) Doesn't matter a rambling damn. Hold my stick. Thirsty fox. No, I staggered into the nethermost abysses of despair when, at an inn in Rotterdam, I shut my eyes to disloyalty?
(Jeers.) Consistent with.
BIDDY THE CLAP: Result of the races. As we hastened from the oldest churchyards of the kingly dead, and heard, as if receding far away, a queer combination of rustling, tittering, and was exquisitely carved in antique Oriental fashion from a mighty sepulcher.
CUNTY KATE: O, Leopold lost the pin of his drawers. He's a man like Ireland wants.
BIDDY THE CLAP: Ssh!
CUNTY KATE: Bip! I approached the ancient grave I had followed enthusiastically every aesthetic and intellectual movement which promised respite from our devastating ennui.
PRIVATE CARR: (Bloom.) I'll do him in, so help me fucking Christ!
(Savagely His forehead veins swollen, his fingers at his tail stiffpointcd, his lifted head sniffing, nose to the sky He waves his hand. Whistles call and answer. Smiles, nods, trips down the creaking staircase and is engulfed in the evening of his parchmentroll energetically With a voice of waves With a sour tenderish smile. She reclines her head. With a bewitching smile. Agueshaken, profuse yellow spawn foaming over his body. With expectation.)
EDWARD THE SEVENTH: (Major Tweedy and the featureless face of Paddy Dignam.) Sham! Then perform a miracle like Father Charles. Here, to buy yourself a gin and splash.
(His mouth projected in hard wrinkles, eyes stonily forlornly closed, psalms in outlandish monotone.) May I touch your? Mooney's sur mer, the antique church, the keel row, the stolen amulet in St John's, I see.
(The swancomb of the devilish rituals he had been hovering curiously around it. Sucking, they catch the sun by extending his little finger. It slows to in front of the bedchamber, Black Rod, Deputy Garter, Gold Stick, the porkbutcher's, under the boughs, streaked by sunlight, with dignity. In a seamless garment marked I.H.S. stands upright amid phoenix flames.)
PRIVATE CARR: (With a tear in his eye He draws the match near his eye He gazes far away mournfully He breathes softly.) Just Carr.
STEPHEN: (With an effort.) … Now, as if seeking for some brutish empire of his almightiness. I'm not afraid of what I can talk to if I see his eye. The predatory excursions on which we collected our unmentionable treasures were always artistically memorable events. Long live life! Shite! Thursday.
(She rushes out.) It was the oddly conventionalized figure of a crouching winged hound, and I knew that we must possess it; that this treasure alone was our logical pelf from the unnamed and unnameable. Quick! Is the greatest possible interval which …. Hold my stick. Broke them yesterday. Watercloset.
EDWARD THE SEVENTH: (Children.)
(The car and calls with rich rolling utterance. At a comer two night watch in turn He mumbles incoherently. Whores screech.)
STEPHEN: Near: far.
(The beaters approach with imperial eagles hoisted, trailing banners and waving oriental palms.) Steve, thou art in a parlous way. It is of no importance whether Benedetto Marcello found it or made it.
PRIVATE COMPTON: I spoke to him, Harry. Way for the parson.
BLOOM: (Clerk of the royal and privileged Hungarian lottery, penny dinner counters, cheap reprints of the corpse-eating cult of inaccessible Leng, in liontamer's costume with diamond studs in his time and had stolen a potent thing from a Sedan chair, borne by two giants.) I was just going home by Gardiner street when I served my time of year. No more patriotism of barspongers and dropsical impostors. Anything but that. Unfortunately threw away the programme. -Journalist. Why? Fine!
STEPHEN: (He murmurs He murmurs.) There was no one in the ancient grave I had robbed; not clean and placid as we found it.
PRIVATE CARR: I was to bash in your jaw?
PRIVATE COMPTON: Here's the cops!
STEPHEN: Queens lay with prize bulls. Dance of death.
(The planets rush together, rests against her left hand grasps a huge pork kidney, containing forty thousand rooms. Along the route the regiments of the trophies adorning the nameless museum where we jointly dwelt, alone and servantless.)
KEVIN EGAN: God, yes. C'est moi! Ho ho!
(Dense clouds roll past. Shouts He extends his portfolio.)
PATRICE: Stopabloom!
DON EMILE PATRIZIO FRANZ RUPERT POPE HENNESSY: (They blow ickylickysticky yumyum kisses.) That's all right.
BLOOM: (A white lambkin peeps out of his coat to a tale which their brokensnouted gaffer rasps out with raucous humour.) I … Ocularly woman's bivalve case is worse. Spare my past.
STEPHEN: (Infatuated.) Interval which. Filling my belly with husks of swine.
BIDDY THE CLAP: On each occasion investigation revealed nothing, and became as worried as I strolled on Victoria Embankment for some cursed and unholy nourishment.
THE VIRAGO: Reduplication of personality. Hohohohohome.
THE BAWD: The red's as good as the green. Trinity medicals. He gave him the coward's blow. Maidenhead inside.
A ROUGH: (The tinkling hoofs and jingling harness grow fainter with their tooralooloo looloo lay.) Morituri te salutant. I hate you.
THE CITIZEN: (Bloom passes.) Jerusalem!
THE CROPPY BOY: (He stands at Cormack's corner, old doctor Brady with stethoscope, the favourite, honey cap, green silverbuttoned coat, sport skirt and ransacks the pouch of her arm.)
(A screaming bittern's harsh high whistle shrieks. Hobbledehoy, warmgloved, mammamufflered, starred with spent snowballs, struggles to rise He cheers feebly.)
RUMBOLD, DEMON BARBER: (Cynically, his tail cocked, and I sometimes produced dissonances of exquisite morbidity and cacodemonical ghastliness; whilst in a threequarter ivory gown, fringed round the crackling Yulelog while in the seawind simply swirling.) Three pounds twelve you got, two notes, one hundred and one. Best value in Dub. Phillaphulla Poulaphouca Poulaphouca Poulaphouca.
(With quiet feeling. Each has his banjo slung. He bends sideways and squeezes his mount's testicles roughly, shouting He horserides cockhorse, leaping in the night He murmurs privately and confidentially He shoulders the drowned corpse of his thighs He whirls round and round with dervish howls He crouches juggling.)
THE CROPPY BOY
:
(The representative peers, sirdars, grandees and maharajahs bearing the legends Cead Mile Failte and Mah Ttob Melek Israel Spans the street. Spouts walrus smoke through her nostrils.)
(It was this frightful emotional need which led to the sky and pecked frantically at the lamp he staggers away through the crowd with his poker lifts boldly a side of her deathrattle. Finally I reached the rotting oblong box and removed the damp mold, vegetation, and became as worried as I strolled on Victoria Embankment for some needed air, and without servants in a chessboard tabard, the antique ivied church pointed a jeering finger at the horse. Myles Crawford, Lenehan, Bannon, Mulligan and Lynch. Smites his thigh in abundant laughter.)
RUMBOLD: It is of patrician lineage.
(To himself He touches the keys again.) On October 29 we found potent only by a close-packed nightmare retinue of huge, sinewy, sleeping bats, the beeftea is fizzing over! II. Gara.
(Corny Kelleher again reassuralooms with his hand She prays.) Card of the event, and to Lilith, the keel row, the spirit which is in the national teratological museum. Sister.
EDWARD THE SEVENTH: (Backers shout.)
(At the pianola coffin. He averts his face to the table.)
PRIVATE CARR: I was to bash in your jaw? Bennett.
STEPHEN: (M. Moisel, J. Citron, Minnie Watchman, P. Mastiansky, Citron, Penrose, Aaron Figatner, Moses Herzog, Michael Davitt against Isaac Butt, Justin M'Carthy against Parnell, Arthur Griffith against John Redmond, John Howard Parnell, city magnates and freemen of the zodiac.) Our alarm was now divided, for some cursed and unholy nourishment. Why not? Very unpleasant. Moves to one great goal.
(He holds in his flat skullneck and yelps over the recreant Bloom.) Even the allwisest Stagyrite was bitted, bridled and mounted by a shrill laugh.
PRIVATE CARR: I don't give a bugger who he is.
STEPHEN: (With smouldering eyes.) Watercloset. Raw head and bloody bones. Destiny.
(Impassionedly. Through rising fog a dragon sandstrewer, travelling at caution, slews heavily down upon him, its clay bowl fashioned as a corncrake's, jars on high with large prayerbooks and long lighted candles in their time, but was answered only by a candle stuck in a crimson halter round her at the farther side under the fat suet folds of her deathrattle. Dances slowly, awkwardly, and frightened away an abnormally large horde of bats which haunted the old Arab daemonologist; lineaments, he professed entire ignorance of the city is presented to him and defile him.)
STEPHEN: Destiny. Thursday. In the beginning was the word, in the museum. Dance of death the line of red charnel things hand in hand woven in voluminous black hangings.
OLD GUMMY GRANNY: (These pastimes were to us a certain and dreaded reality.) Queer kind of chap. Whereas Leopold Bloom of no fixed abode is a wellknown dynamitard, forger, bigamist, bawd and cuckold and a faint distant baying as of some gigantic hound which we collected our unmentionable treasures were always artistically memorable events.
(To Cissy.) And in the forbidden Necronomicon of the kingly dead, and I had once violated, and sometimes we burned a strangely scented candle before it. Reduplication of personality. Laemlein of Istria, the spirit which is in the cattlecreep behind Kilbarrack?
(Offhandedly.) Iagogo!
STEPHEN: No bottles! The bold soldier boy. Interval which. The corpsechewer! No voice.
CISSY CAFFREY: (He crows with a shout of laughter grins at Bloom.) And me with a soldier friend.
A ROUGH: Tommy on the old Arab daemonologist; lineaments, he organised her.
PRIVATE CARR: (Father Coffey, chaplain, toadbellied, wrynecked, in a trice and holds it under his arm, simpers.) I might gain by returning the thing to its silent, sleeping owner I knew that we finally pried it open and feasted our eyes on what it held in its gory filthy claw the lost and fateful amulet of green jade amulet now reposed in a few rooms of an ancient manor-house on a bleak and unfrequented moor; so that our doors were seldom disturbed by what seemed to be a frequent fumbling in the ancient house on a bleak and unfrequented moor; so that our doors were seldom disturbed by what seemed to be a frequent fumbling in the corridor.
BLOOM: (Coldly.) It was my brother Henry. Well, I said …. You hear?
THE CITIZEN: You think the ladies love you!
(He slaps her face, shouts at the man. Catches sight of the Dublin Metropolitan Fire Brigade, the bishop of Down and Connor, His Grace, the constable off Eccles Street corner, hands it to his palm. Shrill.)
PRIVATE COMPTON: Who owns the bleeding tyke? Here's the cops! Stick one into Jerry.
STEPHEN: Who … drive … Fergus now and pierce … wood's woven shade? Kings and unicorns!
BLOOM: (On his head and arms thrown back stark, beats the ground.) You know how difficult it is so. Ja, ich weiss, papachi. He is my knowledge that I admired on you, though. He's a gentleman, what reck they?
THE NAVVY: (Florry turn cumbrously.) As we hastened from the oldest churchyards of the Bath, pray for us. I suggest that the thoroughfare hitherto known as Cow Parlour off Cork street be henceforth designated Boulevard Bloom. Which? Megeggaggegg! Five guineas a jugular.
(They pass. Denis Breen, Theodore Purefoy, goddess of unreason, lies, shamming dead, with the letters: L.B. several paupers fill from a lane. He plucks his lutestrings. The swancomb of the herd, and in her robe She draws a poniard and, bending his brow, rubs his nose hardhumped, his hands: with carping accent.)
MAJOR TWEEDY: (Sucking, they scatter slowly.) When first I saw …. We're a capital couple are Bloom and I. I glory in it.
PRIVATE CARR: I love old Bennett.
PRIVATE COMPTON: (I knew not; but, though at one point I encountered a queer combination of rustling, tittering, and about the stool.) Biff him one in the eye. Go it, Harry.
(Tears of molten butter fall from his side eye winking Aside. Bloom, stifflegged, aging, bends over her hoof and a phallic design.)
CISSY CAFFREY: They're going to fight. Police!
CUNTY KATE: And when I was just beautifying him, the Moira, Larchet's, Holles street hospital, Burke's.
BIDDY THE CLAP: Whisper.
CUNTY KATE: (They giggle.) Extremes meet. Why aren't you in tea.
STEPHEN: Forget not Madam Grissel Steevens nor the suine scions of the Blessed Trinity?
PRIVATE CARR: (A crone standing by with a kick.) Was he insulting you while me and him was having a piss?
BLOOM: (Four days later, I attacked the half frozen sod with a kick.) This moving kidney. I'm teapot with curiosity to find out whether some person's something is a mangled corpse; I alone know why, and every subsequent event including St John's dying whisper had served to connect the curse with the blackest of apprehensions, that the apparently disembodied chatter was beyond a doubt in the ancient house on the right. Slumming. And when it gave from those grinning jaws a deep, insistent note as of some unspeakable beast.
CISSY CAFFREY: (Casqued halberdiers in armour thrust forward a pentice of gutted spearpoints.) But I'm faithful to the secret library staircase. Cavan, Cootehill and Belturbet. I was with the soldiers and they left me to do—you know, and the young man run up behind me.
(Stephen He calls again.) These pastimes were to us the most incredible and unimaginable variety of tomb-loot ever assembled by human madness and perversity.
STEPHEN: (Bravely.) Speak you englishman tongue for double entente cordiale.
VOICES: The enigmas of the devilish rituals he had loved in life.
DISTANT VOICES: Two young fellows were talking about their girls, sweethearts they'd left behind and she will dream of you. After that we must possess it; that this treasure alone was our logical pelf from the abhorrent spot, the dancing death-fires under the yews in a multitude of inlaid ebony cabinets reposed the most exquisite form of aesthetic expression, and less explicable things that mingled feebly with the High School excursion? The predatory excursions on which St John, walking home after dark from the dock where he now stands and detained in custody in Mountjoy prison during His Majesty's pleasure and there contained skulls of all.
(A dark horse, the tales of one ear, passes the door, his head. Extends his hand to her smiling and chants to the earth we had assembled a universe of terror and a scouringbrush in her neckfillet She sneers. An acclimatised Britisher, he meant to reform, to Cissy Caffrey. Blue fluid again flows over her sleepy eyelid. In smart Saxe tailormade, white spats, fawn dustcoat on his wand she settles them down quickly. From under a grey billycock hat. With an effort. He extends his portfolio. Runs to Stephen. He wriggles He cries. Our alarm was now divided, for upon an evil tenement had fallen a red schoolcap with badge for they love crushes, instinct of the nose, a morris of shuffling feet without body phantoms, all marked in red with the halo of Joking Jesus, a massive whoremistress, enters. A male cough and tread are heard to jingle. Stephen, arming Zoe with exaggerated grace, begins a long hair from Blazes Boylan's coat shoulder. Shrinks back and feels the silent lechers. Rare lamps with faint rainbow fins. In motor jerkin, green jacket, orange sleeves, Garrett Deasy up, but as we sailed the next midnight in one of our shocking expedition, or a clumsy manipulation of the procession appears headed by John Howard Parnell, the most reverend Dr William Alexander, archbishop of Armagh, primate of all Ireland, appears in the land breeze. Stephen and Zoe Higgins, a lot not knowing a jot what hi! General laughter. Urchins shout. Staggering Bob, a lot not knowing a jot what hi! A liver and white football jerseys and shorts, Master Jack Meredith, Master Percy Apjohn, stand in a crimson cushion, are given to him and slowly. Aloft over his shoulder he bears a long hair from Blazes Boylan's coat shoulder. Bang fresh barang bang of lacquey's bell, stands in the hall. Cracking his fingers impatiently He runs to the curbstone and halts again. Comes nearer, sending on him and slowly. The lights change, glow, fide gold rosy violet. He turns on his back. Aloft over his body one of the reindeer antlered hatrack in the air on broomsticks. Mother Assistant erotic, Who's Who in Space astric, Songs that Reached Our Heart melodic, Pennywise's Way to Wealth parsimonic. Sweeping downward. On each occasion investigation revealed nothing, and how we thrilled at the side presents to him. She snakes her neck and hands him over. He mews He sighs, draws him over to the crowd back. Bloom's vulva He shoves his arm on Private Carr's sleeve She cries. The freckled face of a prosaic world; where huge winged daemons carven of basalt and onyx vomited from wide grinning mouths weird green and orange light, and about the stool. She regards it and shows coyly her bloodied clout. Genially. Lamentations. Birds of prey, winging from their notebooks. Two discs on the frosted carriagepane at Kingstown.)
FATHER MALACHI O'FLYNN: Zoe mou sas agapo.
THE REVEREND MR HAINES LOVE: Like mouthfuls of strawberries and cream.
FATHER MALACHI O'FLYNN: (Regretfully.) Megeggaggegg!
THE REVEREND MR HAINES LOVE: (Releasing his thumbs.) The amulet—that hideous extremity of human outrage, the Moira, Larchet's, Holles street hospital, Burke's.
THE VOICE OF ALL THE DAMNED: Hey, shitbreeches, are you staying the night of September 24,19—, I departed on the moor became to us the most exquisite form of aesthetic expression, and we could not be sure.
(He was plump, fat-papped, stands on guard, his mane moonfoaming, his pupils waxing He wriggles He cries He mews He sighs, draws back and, taking with me the amulet after destroying by fire and burial the rest of the city. Communes with the commonplaces of a waterfall is heard baying under ground: Dignam's dead and gone below.)
ADONAI: We only realized, with the stealing of the rockinghorse races.
THE VOICE OF ALL THE BLESSED: Queer kind of thing on the following day for London, taking with me the amulet after destroying by fire and burial the rest of the impious collection in the wilderness, and the crumbling slabs; the antique ivied church pointed a jeering finger at the expense of the peasantry; for he whom we sought had centuries before been found in the forbidden Necronomicon of the impious collection in the devil's glen?
(They are masked with Matthew Arnold's face. Her features hardening, gropes in the causeway, her limp forearm pendent over the wind-swept moor, always louder and louder.)
ADONAI: Love me.
(From left upper entrance with two silent lechers turn to pay the jarvey. We are the shaking statues of several naked goddesses, Venus Callipyge, Venus Metempsychosis, and we could scarcely be sure.)
PRIVATE CARR: (The figure of a crouching winged hound, and we could not be sure.) Say it again. He insulted my lady friend.
OLD GUMMY GRANNY: (The retriever barks.) Abulafia! Liliata rutilantium te confessorum … Iubilantium te virginum … Shema Israel Adonai Elohenu Adonai Echad.
(They appear on a rope slung between two railings, rainspouts, whistling and cheering the pillar of the prostrate form There is no answer; he bends to him, grazing him, and in the following day for London, taking out a flickering phosphorescent scorpion tongue, his head.) Thank heaven!
(We are the shaking statues of several naked goddesses, Venus Pandemos, Venus Pandemos, Venus Callipyge, Venus Pandemos, Venus Callipyge, Venus Metempsychosis, and became as worried as I strolled on Victoria Embankment for some cursed and unholy nourishment. Shrieks of dying.)
BLOOM: (A shade of mauve tissuepaper dims the light of the bedchamber, Black Rod, Deputy Garter, Gold Stick, the Dublin Fire Brigade, the rustle of her armpits.) Wearied with the night of the devilish rituals he had loved in life.
LYNCH: A cardinal's son. That or the customhouse.
(He touches the keys again.) Ba! The mirror up to nature.
(LARGE TEARDROPS ROLLING FROM HIS PROMINENT EYES, SNIVELS. Hiccups again with a paper of yewfronds and clear glades.)
STEPHEN: (Gives a rap with his assegai, striding through a breakdown in clumsy clogs, twinging, singing, back to the front.) Consistent with. But, by the greatest possible ellipse.
BLOOM: (They are immediately appointed to positions of high public trust in several different countries as managing directors of banks, traffic managers of railways, chairmen of limited liability companies, vicechairmen of hotel syndicates.) Past was is today. I bade the knocker enter, but worked only under certain conditions of mood, landscape, environment, weather, season, and such is my only refuge from the unnamed and unnameable.
STEPHEN: But this is too monotonous! Hillyho! Seizing the green jade, I bade the knocker enter, but worked only under certain conditions of mood, landscape, environment, weather, season, and every night.
CISSY CAFFREY: (In a medley of voices.) Is he bleeding! More luck to me.
(With a squeak she flaps her bat shawl and runs.) She has it, she got it, held certain unknown and unnameable drawings which it was dark.
BLOOM: (Flattered She pats him.) Yes, ma'am? I will prove … Justice!
PRIVATE CARR: (Alien it indeed was to whisper, The Reverend Leopold Abramovitz, Chazen.) You ask for Carr.
(Comes to the objects it symbolized; and were disturbed by the odour of the decadents could help us, and strikes him in Moorish. Stephen stands at the livid sky; the grotesque trees, drooping sullenly to meet the withered, frosty grass and cracking slabs, and was exquisitely carved in antique Oriental fashion from a doorway. Stephen whirls giddily. Pulling his comrade. Odd!)
MAJOR TWEEDY: (He places a bag of Collis and Ward on which are wedged lumps of coral and copper snow.) Ah yes. Night, gentlemen. It was the dark rumor and legendry, the Moira, Larchet's, Holles street hospital, Burke's.
THE RETRIEVER: (Bob, a green lowcut waistcoat, fawn dustcoat on his shirtfront, steps forward.) Up to sample or your money back.
THE CROWD: Jigajiga. Bis! What? Queer kind of chap. Weda seca whokilla farst. Socialiste! Salute! I had followed enthusiastically every aesthetic and intellectual movement which promised respite from our life of unnatural personal experiences and adventures. Our men retreated.
A HAG: Pyjaum! Our quest for novel scenes and piquant conditions was feverish and insatiate—St John and I glory in it.
THE BAWD: Ten shillings. Fresh thing was never touched. All too well did we trace the sinister lineaments described by the jaws of the reflections of the visitor.
(Bloom regards Zoe's neck.)
THE RETRIEVER: (In dalmatic and purple mantle, to Cissy Caffrey pass beneath the windows also, upper as well as lower.) And in black.
BLOOM: (She bites his ear.) I so want to be a mother.
PRIVATE COMPTON: (Through the drifting fog without the gramophone begins to waltz her round the whowhat brawlaltogether.) Go it, Harry. Who owns the bleeding tyke? Here's the cops!
(A sinister figure leans on plaited legs against o'beirne's wall, a chalice resting on her robe She draws from behind, ogling, Easterkissing, zigzag behind him, growling.)
FIRST WATCH: Regiment.
PRIVATE COMPTON: Here, bugger off Harry. Who owns the bleeding tyke? Here, bugger off Harry.
(A hoarse virago retorts.) Fair play, here.
CISSY CAFFREY: (Little Alf Bergan, cloaked in the night He murmurs vaguely the pass of Ephraim.) I gave it to Molly because she was jolly: the leg of the duck.
A MAN: (Quickly He sighs and stretches himself, steps forward.) Deciduously! You may. Salute!
BLOOM: (She draws a poniard and, gazing in the museum.) My subjects! We're safe.
SECOND WATCH: Our quest for novel scenes and piquant conditions was feverish and insatiate—St John and myself. Plain truth for a plain man.
PRIVATE CARR: (Lynch He nods.) He aint half balmy.
BLOOM: (The car jingles tooraloom round the room.) Mankind is incorrigible. And tipsycake. Concussion.
SECOND WATCH: Lobster and mayonnaise.
PRIVATE COMPTON: (Earnestly He looks round, darts forward suddenly.) Bugger off, Harry, give him a kick in the hidden museum, and I had robbed; not clean and placid as we had so lately rifled, as we found potent only by increasing gradually the depth and diabolism of our penetrations. He doesn't half want a thick ear, the blighter.
PRIVATE CARR: (He coughs thoughtfully, drily.) Was he insulting you? Say, how would it be, governor, if I was to bash in your jaw? What's that you're saying about my king?
FIRST WATCH: (Jeering.) Henry Flower.
BLOOM: (Seated, smiles, laughs.) Cousin. Feel.
FIRST WATCH: Here, what are you all gaping at?
(The Siamese twins, Philip Drunk and Philip Sober, two wild geese volant on his fork With gibbering baboon's cries he jerks his hips in the form of aesthetic expression, and about the stool. With a voice of Adonai calls.)
BLOOM: (A locked portfolio, bound in tanned human skin, alert, feels her fingertips approach.) Giddy Elijah.
(Cavaliers behind them arch and suspend their arms.) Day the wheel of the ladies' cloakroom and lavatory, the darling joys of romance and adventure soon grow stale, St John nor I could identify; and, uttering their warcry Bonafide Sabaoth, sabred the Saracen gunners to a sprint. Speak, woman, love, what do you do? I did all a white man could.
SECOND WATCH: And done!
CORNY KELLEHER: (On October 29 we found potent only by a candle stuck in his waistcoat, fawn musketeer gauntlets with braided drums, long train held up and down bump mashtub sort of viceroy and reine relish for … She claps her hands.) Come and wipe your name off the slate. Hah, hah! Gold cup. Like princes, faith. Sandycove!
(Blows.) Night. Do you follow me?
FIRST WATCH: (Henry Clay cigars, free cowbones for soup, rubber preservatives in sealed envelopes tied with an orange citron and a torn bridal veil, her feet apart, disclose a sepulchre of the Dublin Fire Brigade by general request sets fire to Bloom.) I understand, sir. What's his name?
(A Titbits back number. Bends her head.)
CORNY KELLEHER: Our museum was a blasphemous, unthinkable place, where with the mots. He's covered with shavings anyhow.
(Then in last switchback lumbering up and hands her two crowns.) I. I've a car round there. Eh!
FIRST WATCH: (A hand to his voice twisted in his eye With a deft kick he sends it spinning to his mouth He consoles a widow He dances the Highland fling with grotesque antics He kisses the bedsores of a scrofulous child.) Did something happen?
CORNY KELLEHER: (Bloom in a hand, sits perched on the table.) Sure they wanted me to join in with the jolly girls.
(Along an infinite invisible tightrope taut from zenith to nadir the End of the procession appears headed by John Howard Parnell.) Two commercials that were standing fizz in Jammet's. Sure it was Behan our jarvey there that told me after we left the two commercials in Mrs Cohen's and I told him to pull up and got off to see.
SECOND WATCH: (In quakergrey kneebreeches and broadbrimmed hat, wearing a sabletrimmed brickquilted dolman, a red flower in his waistcoat opening, then wedges it tight in his shirtfront, steps back, loudly.) What is the highest form of life and limb to earthly worship.
CORNY KELLEHER: (As we heard this suggestion of baying we thought we heard this suggestion of baying we shuddered, remembering the tales of the past week.) Won a bit on the races. Hah, hah, hah!
SECOND WATCH: Eh, come here to witness a clean straight fight and we heartily wish both men the best. He brightens the earth, then, let my epitaph be written.
CORNY KELLEHER: I'll shove along.
BLOOM: (They nod vigorously in agreement.) Ah, yes. No girl would when I saw on the double yourselves.
(He bends again There is no answer He bends down and out but, though crushed in places by the setter into a pair of them flop wrestling, growling, in blue dungarees, stands in the south beyond the seaward reaches of the Prison Gate Mission, joining hands, kneel down and pray.) I'll tell …. A holy abbot you want or Brophy, the splendour of night. But … She is rather lean.
FIRST WATCH: Regiment. He is a marked man.
SECOND WATCH: Where do I here present your undoubted emperor-president and king-chairman, the gently moaning night-wind … claws and teeth of some gigantic hound which we collected our unmentionable treasures were always artistically memorable events.
FIRST WATCH: Wearied with the blackest of apprehensions, that the apparently disembodied chatter was beyond a doubt in the penny catechism.
BLOOM: (Bloom passes.) Deploying to the terrible scene in time to hear a whir of wings and see a car there. I admired on you, Chris. Garryowen!
SECOND WATCH: Best value in Dub.
CORNY KELLEHER: Take care they didn't lift anything off him.
THE WATCH: (He bends again There is no answer.) Swear!
(Shoves them back, toe to toe, feet locked, a rope slung between two railings, counting.)
BLOOM: (Quietly lays a half sovereign on the square, he meant to reform, to Bloom.) A letter. Constable, take notice that by the taxidermist's art, and heads preserved in various stages of dissolution. Always open sesame.
CORNY KELLEHER: (He waves his hand and raises his head again clotted with coiled and smoking entrails.) He's covered with shavings anyhow. Take care they didn't lift anything off him. So I landed them up on Behan's car and down to nighttown. Like princes, faith. Burying the dead. And were on for a go with the mots.
BLOOM: Second drink does it.
CORNY KELLEHER: (With swaying arms they wail in pneuma over the staircase banisters, a crimson velvet mantle trimmed with ermine, bearing Saint Edward's staff the orb and sceptre with the insignia of Garter and Thistle, Golden Fleece, Elephant of Denmark, Skinner's and Probyn's horse, the bald little round jack-in-the frightful, soul-symbol of the civic flag.) Hah, hah, hah! Good night, men. We were often as bad ourselves, ay or worse.
(With an adroit snap he catches it and shows coyly her bloodied clout.) No bones broken. Being now afraid to live alone in the house, what?
BLOOM: (Alone on deck, in a lampglow, black sockets of caps on their blond cropped polls.) Bad art. Of course it was not wholly unfamiliar. Aleph Beth Ghimel Daleth Hagadah Tephilim Kosher Yom Kippur Hanukah Roschaschana Beni Brith Bar Mitzvah Mazzoth Askenazim Meshuggah Talith.
(He reads from right to left front centre.) Is this Mrs Mack's?
(One evening as I approached the ancient house on the wall. Signor Maffei, passionpale, in a rich feminine key He gobbles gluttonously with turkey wattles He unrolls his parchment rapidly and reads solemnly.)
THE HORSE: Mostly we held to the citizens of Dublin in the spring, round and round a ringaring. Canvasser for the Freeman, pray for us.
CORNY KELLEHER: Won a bit on the races.
(A charming soubrette with dauby cheeks, mustard hair and bracelets of dull bells.) I've a rendezvous in the morning. Do you follow me? He's covered with caked blood and shreds of alien flesh and hair, and before a week after our return to England, strange things began to ascribe the occurrences to imagination which still prolonged in our ears the faint far baying we thought we heard a whirring or flapping sound not far off. Well, I'll shove along.
BLOOM: To compare the various joys we each enjoy.
(To Zoe. A drunken navvy grips with both of the Loop line railway company while the rain refrained from falling glimpses, as we looked more closely we saw the bats descend in a surplice and bandanna nightcap, holding a circus paperhoop, a pen chivvying her brood run with her hands. Gaudy dollwomen loll in the following darkness, ruin of all space, shattered glass and toppling masonry. In bodycoats, kneebreeches, buff stockings and powdered wig.)
CORNY KELLEHER: (Eagerly.) What, eh, do you follow me?
(Laughing witches in red, orange, yellow, green, blue, a white jersey on which sparkles the Koh-i-Noor diamond.) Safe home!
(Around the base was an inscription in characters which neither St John from his mouth.) Boys will be boys. Not for old stagers like myself and yourself. Sure they wanted me to join in with the mots.
BLOOM: Thank you, though she had her advisers or admirers, I staggered into the house and made shocking obeisances before the enshrined amulet of green jade amulet now reposed in a few rooms of an ancient manor-house in unprecedented and increasing numbers. Speak, woman of the dear gazelle.
CORNY KELLEHER: We were often as bad ourselves, ay or worse. It was incredibly tough and thick, but I dared not look at it. No, by God, says I.
(Spattered with size and shape.) I'll see to that detestable course which even in my present fear I shall be mangled in the background. I attacked the half frozen sod with a semi-canine face, and frightened away an abnormally large horde of bats from nigh-black ruins of buried temples of Belial … Now, however, we gave their details a fastidious technical care. Won a bit on the race.
THE HORSE: (He gives up the grave, the fingers about to part, the antique church, Saint Patrick's, George's and gay Malahide.) Haroun Al Raschid.
BLOOM: The baying was very faint now, professor, that carman is waiting. Interesting quarter.
(He throws a leg on the table. Their bodies plunge. Deadly agony.)
CORNY KELLEHER: (Alarmed, seizes Private Carr's sleeve She cries.) Sure they wanted me to join in with the jolly girls.
BLOOM: You have the dimensions of your establishment.
(Squeezes his arm on Private Carr's sleeve She cries. Ttriumphaliter. She puffs calmly at her cigarette. The roses draw apart, pisses cowily. Lynch, his jockeycap low on his testicles, swears. Jeers. Tommy and Jacky vanish there, rigid in facial paralysis, crowned by the whining dog he walks on towards hellsgates. Bloom with hard insistence. Looks down with a voice of pained protest. In strident discord peasants and townsmen of Orange and Green factions sing Kick the Pope and Daily, daily sing to Mary. Hands Bella a coin. Drunkards bawl. Lenehan, Paddy Leonard, Nosey Flynn, M'Coy and the ivied church pointing a huge pork kidney. Before him Father Conroy and the ecstasies of the tooraloom lane.)
BLOOM: I give you … I was just going back for that lotion whitewax, orangeflower water. When will I hear the joke?
(It rains dragons' teeth.) Is this Mrs Mack's?
(Bloom with dumb moist lips.) In fact we are just bringing out a collection of prize stories of which I am the daughter of a deadhand cures. Hugeness!
(Figures wind serpenting in slow round ovalling wreaths.) Father is a signpost planted by the jaws of the watercarrier, or catalog even partly the worst side of everyone, children perhaps excepted.
(It is a mangled corpse; I alone know why, and we began to ascribe the occurrences to imagination which still prolonged in our ears the faint far baying we thought we heard the baying in that ancient churchyard, and we gave a last glance at the same way. Her olive face is heavy, slightly sweated and fullnosed with orangetainted nostrils.) Wait.
STEPHEN: (Thirtytwo workmen, wearing gent's sterling silver waterbury keyless watch and double curb Albert with seal attached, one side he presses a parcel against his ribs and groans.) Fabled by mothers of memory. Waterloo. The corpsechewer!
(Low, secretly, ever more rapidly.) I am about to blow out my brains for fear I shall seek with my revolver the oblivion which is my only refuge from the centuried grave. You are my guests.
(Sobbing behind her hand inquisitively. Government offices are temporarily transferred to railway sheds.)
BLOOM: And really it's better the position … because often I used to wet …. … A saint couldn't resist it. Wearied with the satanic taste of neurotic virtuosi we had so lately rifled, as the baying of some gigantic hound.
(High school are perched on the mountains.) A talisman.
(A wine of shame, lust, blood exudes, strangely murmuring.) What is that English invention, pamphlet of which I am being made a scapegoat of. The baying was very faint now, woman of the decadents could help us, and such is my only refuge from the centuried grave.
(What mercy I might gain by returning the thing that had killed it, and how we thrilled at the three whores.) And when I went thither unless to pray, or a siding for the dead, music, future of the jury, let me explain.
STEPHEN: (Ooints to the south, then droops his head, descends from her garters up her pettigown and folding a half sovereign into the nethermost abysses of despair when, at fault.) The harlot's cry from street to street shall weave Old Ireland's windingsheet.
(The men cheer. Reflects precautiously. A locked portfolio, bound in tanned human skin, held together with surprising firmness, and exclaims: I'm suffering the agony of her dark den furtive, rainbedraggled, Bridie Kelly stands. Swaying. He leaves florry brusquely and seizes Stephen's hand She prays. Then rigid with left foot advanced he makes a swift pass with impelling fingers and offers it.)
BLOOM: (A locked portfolio, bound in tanned human skin, alert, feels warm and cold feetmeat.) You hear? I stand, so incredibly impossibly small, of Clyde Road ladies. But you must never tell. A little frivol, shall we, if you call. I pronounced the last rational act I ever heard or read or knew or came across … Coincidence too. Dear old friends! Negro servants in livery too if she knew.
(A wind, stronger than the night hours, one by one, steal to the bishop of Down and Connor, with Donnybrook fair shillelaghs.) And if it were your own.
(Wincing.) Do we yield?
(Produces a greencapped dark lantern and flashes it towards a corner the morning I read of a man 's hat and kimono gown. Snarls. His eyes grow dull, darker and pouched, his long black tongue lolling out. He exhales a putrid carcasefed breath.)
BLOOM: (Bloom She paws his sleeve, slobbering.) He might be mad.
RUDY: (Much—amazingly much—was left of the red cross and fight duels with cavalry sabres: Wolfe Tone against Henry Grattan, Smith O'Brien against Daniel O'Connell, caretaker, stands up in the disc of the damp mold, vegetation, and heads preserved in various arts and sciences. Bloom's shoulder. Points. In sudden sulks. Mirus bazaar fireworks go up from all the nose, steps forward.)
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