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heyidkyay · 2 months

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And I'm petrified of being alone, now |

Part Fourteen

Matty Healy x reader

Summary: She’s just trying to get by, really. What with being a single parent to her four year old son whilst simultaneously trying to kick start a successful career as a radio presenter. She’s got everything she’s ever wanted though, friends close by, a mum who’s merely a phone call away, and of course her baby boy. What else is there to wish for? But then, it’s not long before her relatively normal life gets upended and turned on its head, and she’s suddenly forced to deal with situations she’s never even thought to imagine.

What happens when one mention of a certain controversial singer on her show sends a flood of unexpected challenges her way?

Authors Note: First bit is a lil messy! BUT it's just a way of moving through time whilst letting you know what's going on. Apologising anyway, tried to make it as simple as possible! Idk how I’m really feeling about this series atm ngl, hopefully I’ll find some more inspiration soon x

> Just a reminder! We left the last update with Mouse and her mum talking about Matty:) You can look back here if you'd like!

Masterlist

Mirror

14:04, 26 Dec 2023

For Christmas Denise Welch reunites with..

LOOSE Women star Denise Welch had a fun-filled Christmas this year with her two sons and...

*picture: family gathering featuring Matty Healy in red beanie*

comments:

@/user1 Glasses and beanie combo>>> @/user2 He was wearing that yesterday too @/user3 I wish my family was chill enough to take a xmas pic😭

[HOMESCREEN] 11:12

Facetime now Matty:)!! Incoming Call

Messages 4m Finnleyyy So will I be seeing my best mate this nye??

Instagram 11m Trumanblack mentioned you in a private story

TWITTER: ‘75 updates @/75updateacc Matty spotted out in Manchester! *picture: long trench and red beanie*

Ugh! @/user1 Matty on new years! *with old friends // red beanie tucked into a jacket pocket* > Loveme @/user2 The beanie is spotted again.. >> Saidhello @/user3 @/user2 Been all over his ig stories too 👀 friends? @/user4 I'm sort of obsessed w it and the fact it's stirring up so many questions💀 ppl, @/user5 it's so nice to see him actually happy!! lemmebepartoftheband @/user6 WAITING ON THE NEXT ALBUMMMM

Instagram

Trumanblack Story today

The Sun

23:47, 31 Dec 2023

MATTY HEALY SPOTTED OUT FOR NEW YEARS CELEBRATIONS AFTER 'SUPPOSED' SOBRIETY

The 1975 frontman was seen out in London this evening with friends and other members of the band celebrating a...

*picture: Matty Healy all dressed up and sporting a red beanie*

comments:

@/user1 shit like this ruins people @/user2 That hat again! Was it a Christmas present? @/user3 another celeb trying at sobriety, another bullshit article @/user4 Where in London even was this?

TWITTER: ‘75 updates @/75updateacc Band's interview with Variety today, click here for the video! Will be updating later on today:) *boys all pictured: George/shades, Matty/beanie&longtee, Ross/hairdown, Adam/leatherjacket*

[HOMESCREEN] 13:52

Messages 3m Matty:)!! Just wrapping up now, should be able to call in 10 x

Youtube 9m Recommended: The 1975 - Talks of tour? | VM Radio Uk

Instagram 21m Trumanblack just added to his story

AdelineWells sent you a direct message

23 New Notifications click to open

TWITTER: Partoftheband @/user1 Talks of tour??? Are they trying to kill me? Gotabf @/user2 The beanie!! It's back!! Milk @/user3 You reckon he's washed it? People! @/user4 He wears so much designer shit, why's he wearing a hat that looks like it was knitted by my nan??

With January, came sleet and heavy rain. Forcing us all indoors and making quick regrets over arduous New Year’s resolutions.

I had half a dozen interviews lined up in the first month alone, which was a promising start to the year but also incredibly nerve wracking. I’d spent the majority of the wavering days between Christmas and the 31st fretting over each and every detail, beyond thankful that my mum had stuck around a little longer after the festivities to help keep Teddy preoccupied.

Adi, thankfully, was stuck in the exact same boat, which meant that we could both bear the burden together. Leading to a whole lot of time being spent on the phone, making plans, or down at the studio, where Teddy could roam free. We were moving up in the world, as Matty now liked to claim, and so that meant more of our time being taken up by mundane tasks such as asking Hozier’s PA what kind of drink he preferred and avoiding a couple of Podcaster's sudden opinions on us.

Still, we were forever grateful.

Though it wasn’t just the radio show getting shafted with a shit ton of toil either, it appeared that work had Finn headed off to the States for a few gallery openings, and Matty pulled in all sorts of directions whilst the band sorted out their upcoming album.

I hadn’t heard a word of it, although the singer kept on endlessly chattering away about how much he loved the songs they were now producing, suddenly leased with a newfound life. Which always left me feeling happy, even if I did have to wait alongside the rest of the world to listen in. It was nice knowing that he was enjoying it all once more. Seeing as, music made Matty and Matty made music. And all that.

So anyway, what I’d been getting at there was that the last few weeks had been all too trying. Enough so that Matty and I had hardly seen hide nor hair of each other, and our Facetime calls had been fair and few. Which was something that didn’t just sadden me, but Teddy too it seemed, who’d come to quite like the musician and all of his odd quirks.

That fact in itself had almost sent me running, in truth.

And maybe that was silly of me, but Teddy was my everything and it killed me to see him upset over someone he barely even knew. But then again, I supposed he did know Matty in a way. Whenever Matty called, Teddy was there to tell the man about his day, whenever Matty texted he never failed to ask after Teds, whenever he sent pictures and videos of the studio and whatever else he was doing they were usually for Teddy to see.

I didn’t think Teddy had ever attached himself to a person so quickly. Which really did surprise me. Though oddly enough, what surprised me much more was the fact that Matty had just soldiered on and stuck with it, instead of running for the hills the first chance he’d gotten, like I’d expected.

Which was perhaps a bit of an unfair assumption on my part, but it was something I didn’t feel too guilty over- I’d made that clear to Matty the very first day the two of them had met after all.

Saying that though, I was left to eat my words as I watched that same man galavant his way around a London Zoo with a four year old plopped atop his shoulders. Doing so without complaint, and thoroughly enjoying it too.

“There! There, Matty! You see?” I heard Teddy call out in loud excitement as I trailed my way on after them, his little fingers holding onto the red beanie Matty now often favoured. Something I relentlessly teased him about but which left me feeling all warm every time I saw it.

“Oh yeah! I do now. Wow monster, how’d you even spot him over there?” Matty replied, feigning obvious awe and grinning madly when Teddy leaned over the top of his head to poke his face into view.

“I eat carrots.”

I snorted at the simple answer Teddy gave and Matty, forever charmed by my toddler’s antics, nodded around a low chuckle of his own. “I’ll make sure to buy a couple on my way home then.”

Stepping closer, I found it strange to be in a zoo so lifeless. Which probably sounded even more peculiar, but then again, it hadn’t been my idea to go ahead and rent the entire place out just so that we could have a nose around at all the wildlife without Matty getting mobbed. What a diva, hey?

“I still can’t believe you did all this.” I murmured to him once Matty had set Teddy back down on the ground, leaving my son to run on over towards one of the caged fences, calling out to the languid lions that laid beyond it.

“It’s sick.”

That had been Matty’s only defence since having arrived and me figuring this all out, it was as endearing as it was bewildering.

“It’s mental is what it is, you idiot.”

He glanced over at me, hands tucked up in his pockets, a smug grin now painted on his face. I crossed my arms over my chest, refusing to be charmed by him and his inane antics.

“Admit it, you’re loving this. Not having to worry about losing the kid and actually being able to get a look in at this lot.” Matty argued, and if he were anyone else he’d be swaying back and forth in utter delight- Wilmslow’s very own Willy Wonka- but all he did was simply look back at Teddy with a prideful grin, who was now currently trying to lure a lioness in closer.

Thing is, he wasn’t wrong. And Matty was enough of a git to know it too.

I didn’t grant him a reply though and instead wandered over to drag my son away from the ever nearing lion. “Did you see, mama? She likes me!”

I had to grin and bite back my sudden hysteria, although Matty snorted from his place now back beside us. “I did see, lovely! How about we go look at the snakes though now, hey?” And with that, Teddy was eager to part from us (and thankfully the lion) , sprinting ahead in the direction of a lizard sign that stood not too far away, leaving Matty and I to trail behind.

“Where all the animals are locked behind glass, yeah?” Matty piped up after and I narrowed my eyes at him in return, refraining from giving him a right good shove.

“Shut it.”

He merely cackled and looped an arm around my shoulders.

–

“They should just get back together. I mean- the money alone!”

I chuckled quietly to myself, moving about the tiny kitchenette at the studio and rolling my eyes at the man propped up between a Guinness World Records book we had and the sugar tin.

“I’m not saying that they shouldn’t! I’m just saying that they won’t.” I argued back, still rifling my way through a drawer in search of a sharp enough knife. “Those are two completely different things.”

“So what?” Matty scoffed, his displeasure with the whole debate managing to seep its way through the phone. “Fucking pair of pillocks, can’t even imagine how the world would react, the industry alone!”

I smiled, all too familiar with the daily rants of one Matthew Healy. This particular tirade of his had been spurred on by a comment I’d made on today’s show, it seemed he’d been listening in.

“Oo, is there a brew going for me?”

I glanced behind me just in time to spot Adi making her way into the studio, a large duffle bag for tomorrow's shoot thrown over her left shoulder.

“Who else?” I quipped back, grinning victoriously when I finally found the trusty blade I’d brought over from mine so many years ago now that laid between a wooden spoon and a jar opener.

“What are you even doing?” She asked me next, having already tossed the bag down onto the sofa and made her way over. She waved when she spotted Matty’s familiar face upon opening the fridge, used to his presence cropping up here and there by now, “Alright, Healy? Thought you had big meetings today.”

“We do. I’m currently hiding out in a bin.”

Adi paused to blink at the absurd reply and then shrugged, not seeing the point in questioning it any further. “And you?” She prompted me, plucking a pint of milk from the fridge and slamming it closed.

“So full of questions today, high inquisitor.” I sang, already moving to slice into the whole watermelon I’d brought on my way in, having right fancied it when I’d passed by the fruit & veg stall up on the high street. “And what do you think, Ads? Exactly what it looks like.”

“Yeah, but why?”

I just shook my head in answer and Adi seemed to take that for what it was, a blatant dismissal. Matty though, ever so sweet, must’ve felt a bit bad because I heard him pipe up again, “She’s gone and brought a whole watermelon. Paid five quid for the thing, you believe that?”

“Five quid! Did he ask if he could spit in your face too?” Adi all but exclaimed, eyes as wide as saucers as she looked over at me.

“Yes, five quid.” I stressed, having already heard enough of it from Matty, who didn’t have a leg to stand on here. “Now leave off, or I won't share.” I wielded the knife between the pair of them jokingly and Adi relented easily enough, already moving to skim a piece I’d just cut from off the counter. I cast a shrewd glance towards my phone, “And besides you can’t talk, Mr. Millionaire.”

Matty snorted.

“Is it really that much?” Adi wondered out loud, sweeping over to get a better glimpse at my screen and the man hidden within it.

I rolled my eyes and smirked, already figuring that she’d try her luck with just that thought alone.

“Piss off, Wells.” Matty laughed, amused by the ever so sweet smile Adi had suddenly conjured up for him and the way she was now batting her lashes, “How the fuck did we go from watermelon to my networth anyway?”

“Extortion.”

“Nepotism.”

I stopped slicing to taste test a chunk of watermelon and heard Matty heave a heavy sigh.

Adi, though, just moved to ask, “Did you threaten the fruit & veg man then?”

“Fucking should’ve.” I muttered, but couldn't quite bring myself to regret the wasted fiver then, not when the fruit was almost heavenly.

“Can you stop eating? I’m in a crisis you know, and fucking starving.” I heard Matty complain, his voice practically petulant.

“Actually, you’re in a bin.” I corrected, taking another chunk, “So don’t be a drama queen. If you’re hungry, order a Deliveroo or fuck off home.”

Matty was almost pouting when I slid on over to join Adi by the phone, a plate overwhelmed with watermelon now towering between us. His frown deepened. “You’re proper evil, you know that?”

I simply grinned, “You love it.”

Only Adi noticed the faint hue that bloomed across the singer’s cheeks then. Seeing as I was already rambling away once again, talking about the weekend get-together we’d planned now we all had some time to spare.

“You’re still coming, right?” I then asked Adi, who was now smirking for some reason. I raised a brow.

She merely hummed around her next slice and dipped her head at me, “Wouldn’t miss it for the world, babe.”

Matty’s eyes narrowed at that but I deemed it better to ignore whatever the two of them had going on, I found life to be much simpler that way.

–

It was almost gone nine and still no sign of her.

She had texted almost half an hour ago now, saying she was headed out, but Matty still kept his phone in hand, spinning it this way and that, just in case she tried messaging again.

“You’re driving me mad with that, man.” George suddenly announced, drawing Matty’s attention back to the table at the overcrowded club they’d picked out. “Stop it.” He added, swatting at Matty’s forearm when he’d barely acknowledged him the first time round.

Matty’s brow pinched but he let the mobile go with a clatter to the tabletop, “Happy?”

George exaggerated his smile in the same sense Matty just had whilst he clasped his hands in mock prayer before him, “Incredibly.” Then he relaxed back in his chair once more, face softening as Matty’s eyes shot out across the floor for the umpteenth time, “God, you’re really fucking strung up on this one.”

“Eh?” Matty immediately asked him, his head spinning back around to spare a glance at his mate.

“Just,” George began with a slow shrug, his chin dipped against his chest now in the way that he’d leaned back making his eyes appear all the more solemn. “It’s been a while since I’ve seen you so invested, is all.”

“Invested, fuck’s that meant to mean?”

Goerge just huffed. “I don’t know, Matty. Just, you’re not usually the type to get so caught up on a girl you’re chasing.”

“I’m not chasing her. We’re mates.” Matty hastily defended and could feel the way his face had instantly scrunched up with the force of it.

He was gifted a short snort in return, “Yeah man, sure, and I can fly a shitting plane.” At Matty’s ever darkening expression, George sighed once more and moved to prop himself up on his knees, “Look yeah? I didn’t mean nothing by it, only curious. It’s weird seeing you all moody and pent up about somebody. Been a while.”

It had been a while since he’d last seen someone properly, but that didn’t suddenly mean that he and Mouse currently had anything going on. He’d been too focused on staying clean, working on the album, and trying to forget the last year and a half had ever happened. And Mouse… well, she had a kid and didn’t seem the type to take to anyone so easily. They were mates. Just, mates.

Matty must’ve been quiet a little too long though because when George spoke again his voice had softened, as had his face. It almost looked pitiful now, enough that Matty wanted to force him away from his line of sight. But he didn’t, only glanced back out towards the floor.

“Matty, mate. I really didn’t mean to piss you off, you know that. I’m just saying it how I see it.” Matty rolled his eyes but George only continued to talk, “It’s obvious that you like her, man. Whether it’s just as friends or something more. But do me a favour and just have a long think about it, yeah? She’s nice and all, but I don’t wanna see you hurt.”

Matty bit back the scoff that lodged itself in his throat, “If anything, G, it’d be me hurting her. Wouldn’t be that unexpected though, would it?”

George’s hand came to grasp his shoulder at that and with a firm but gentle grip he forced Matty to better face him, he leaned in so his voice would carry over the music, his forehead now furrowed. “You’re not a bad person, man. Not everyone’s expecting you to fuck up all the time.”

Didn’t that feel like a fucking lie.

The hand pressed further and George shook Matty a tad, wanting him to comprehend his words. Take them in. “You’re doing good, mate. Really good. And we’re proud, alright? We are. All I’m saying is, have a think about what you want. Make sure you’re happier for it, make sure… that you can deal with everything that comes along with it. Understand?”

Matty’s mouth felt a little dry as he stared up into George’s eyes, seeing the genuine care held within them. Almost immediately Matty felt his walls crumble down around him and he struggled to find the right words to respond with. They were proud. So instead, he just nodded and George’s hand clapped the back of his neck with a winning grin.

“Good. Now, go get her, yeah?”

Matty frowned at the words but before he could think to question it the table was moving to welcome in a couple of newcomers and he turned in his seat to meet the eyes of a smiling Squeaks.

“Hey you.”

“You made it!”

She grinned back at him, beamed actually, and Matty felt his eyes flicker down to her lips for a second, then down further to the lovely little dress she’d decided on. He hastily stood up to greet her, wrapping her up in a hug- something that had come more and more naturally to them in the last few weeks- and rocked slightly. “Get all dressed up for me, did you?”

Mouse pulled away with a laugh, her head thrown back a tad before her glistening eyes set themselves back on him, she squeezed his arm, “You wish.”

He did wish. But he didn’t voice that passing thought out loud, filing it away to stress about later, and instead shuffled nearer to whisper, “You do look gorgeous though.”

The skin by her ear prickled with goosebumps and Matty pulled away before he could get too caught up in what that might have meant. He graced her with a slow smile, “Drinks?”

She let go of a breath, then smiled brightly back at him with a dip of her chin, “Drinks.”

–

“I haven't heard a word of it!” I said, pushing my drink down onto the table. I was currently on my fifth of the night, but the guys were forever getting new rounds in and so I knew it wouldn’t take me long before I was handed another.

“You said you didn’t like our stuff!” Matty immediately answered back, his voice a tad bit higher now.

I gaped at the claim, “I did not!”

“Yes, you fuckin’ did!”

The rest of the table was watching on in ever growing amusement, Ross’s eyes were dancing back and forth between Matty and I, whilst Adi wore a grin that could probably help power Blackpool Tower.

“I said I loved your earlier work. I didn’t say I hated the newer stuff!” I rebuked, desperately trying to think back to that first show I’d mentioned Matty in. Had I really said that?

Matty went to speak but Hann cut in before he could, “You two are mental. All I asked was whether she’d heard anything we’d been working on.”

George snorted, managing to drag his eyes away from his fiance to smirk at the pair of us. “Remember she claimed the band looked spent.”

Matty jumped to point in George’s direction, pleased, whilst my eyes widened, “I wouldn’t!”

“You did, love.” George laughed, looking more amused than hurt which was the only thing keeping me from being physically sick. “It’s alright, no harm done.”

I fish-mouthed, but even with that having been said, Matty was still grinning victoriously. “Fucking told you.”

Wrinkling my nose, I turned to neck the rest of my drink. “Yeah, well. I do love your songs, alright?”

Matty’s brows upturned, as if he was about to deny the claim and accuse me of lying, but Adi cut in, “No it’s true, she's been listening to your shit nonstop since you two met. Like it’s grating at this point.”

“Harsh.” Ross dragged out and Adi gave him a coy smile when she went to pat his chest, “You try listening to his gob on repeat and then we’ll talk, yeah?” She retorted easily, dipping her head towards Matty, whose face scrunched up unhappily.

“Careful, Wells. Starting to sound like you might not like me.”

Adi flashed him a toothy smile, “Who claimed I ever did?”

I was quick to reach out and grab Matty’s wrist when he frowned, ready to open his mouth once more. The motion seemed to grab most, if not all, of his attention because he wavered in his stance before letting himself be pulled over.

“He’s fragile, Ads.” I chuckled to her, hand cradling the back of Matty’s head when he leaned in to press his face against my shoulder. “All the big rockstars have delicate egos.”

Adi snorted and I watched as she let Ross drape an arm over her shoulders, her hand finding his.

“Not fucking fragile.” Matty said, but the heat of it was lost in the mumble against my skin, I laughed.

“Sure, babe.” I murmured fondly, smiling when I felt the curve of his grin against my neck. I started to run my hand through his hair almost unconsciously, letting the alcohol dim the anxious worries that would typically cloud my mind. “You’re a real man.”

“A real fuckin’ man.”

I rolled my eyes with a shake of my head that must've disrupted Matty’s newfound peace because he pulled away slightly, hands falling to rest on my hips, keeping us close.

“You’re proper nice, you know?” He mumbled in contradiction to our previous argument, his head falling forward to press his forehead to mine. His eyes appeared so much darker in this light, the little space between us had me holding my breath. “So nice.”

Instantly I was reminded of one of the first conversations I’d had with Adi about Matty, he’d been nice then too. “Thanks.” I chuckled before swallowing, eyes trailing between his before I voiced the thought. “You’re nice too.”

He smiled, one of those lazy ones where his eyelids drooped and the skin around his mouth wrinkled. His stare dropped ever so slightly and my mouth parted on instinct.

Matty licked at his lower lip, teeth grazing it ever so slightly. “I’m glad I met you.”

My heart stuttered in my chest, squeezing in on itself so tightly that I thought it might just give out, before it finally let go. “I don’t think I’ve ever been told that before.”

Matty tilted his head at me causing the tip of his nose to brush against mine, I struggled to remember to keep breathing. “I’m glad I met you, Squeaks.” He repeated with an air of finality, either unaware or uncaring for the reaction it drew from me as he raised a hand to drag his thumb across my jaw.

I looked up into his eyes, unblinking. Aware that I’d never felt quite like anything this before.

“I’m glad I met you too.”

–

Metro News

Feb 2024 06:21

SETTLING DOWN? | ‘75 SINGER CAUGHT IN CLUB WITH SINGLE MUM

Last night it seems our local heartthrob was back out on the town again after a few weeks of silence, only this time he wasn't alone! Read more...

[HOMESCREEN] 07:59

Facetime now Finnleyyy Incoming Call

Messages 7m Adi x Babe wake up, shits going down over on twitter!! Also (very much related) did you shag Healy last night???

Twitter 11m You now have 378 notifications

TWITTER: ‘75 updates @/75updateacc The Band spotted out in London last night with the MouseOnAMic girls! *picture: a story from Adelinewells instagram//blurred group photo*

backofmyvan @/user1 Is this real?? *picture: blurred Matty and Mouse in a dark club* Funnyface @/user2 Is that the radio host? she has a kid?? Saidhello! @/user3 I woke up to chaos. On another note, how are my matty girlies doing today?

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outisgivingpac · 9 months

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PAC: Little things you can do to improve your everyday life

Because there are days when simply existing feels like an extreme sport, this PAC shall give you some mundane advice to make your day a little bit easier 🌱☔✨

Check out my pinned post for my masterlist and personal readings ❤️

🐸Pick a pile/image you feel most drawn to🐸

Pile 1. Pile 2. Pile 3.

Pile 1: Queen of Pentacles reversed, the Empress reversed, The High Priestess

Dear Pile 1, there're a lot to unpack here so I hope you would stay with me till the end. Firstly, I can feel your fatigue streaming through, as it seems like you're buried under all kind of house chores and errands. What you can really use right now is a helping hand, not just someone who would nod sympathically to your struggle. Many of you could just be living alone, but some might share the place with someone who have different living standards as yourself. Either case, you could cut yourself some slack by asking for help, or simply letting others help you. On a side note, you might not have been eating properly as of late. Either you eat too little, or only fuel yourself with the kind of food that has little nutritional value. Though, it appears you're fully aware of all these problems, and just have to listen to your body more. You know better than anyone when you need to take a break, when to take a sip of water, or what you crave. So, yes, you should trust yourself on that as often as possible, rather than deeming it evil whisper your inner goblin lol

Pile 2: 6 of Cups, 7 of Pentacles, 9 of Wands

As it seems, people of this pile need a lot of activities and/or stimulations during a day to feel good in general. At the same time, idleness will weight you down like a plague. Without busying yourself with something that can be considered productive throughout the day, you tend to spiral hard in your head and become restless at night. This is often the case on those days when you don't have to go out for school or work. Aren't you a workaholic high-achiever with reasonable expectations for anyone but yourself? You're much encouraged to not take your day-off for granted, spending it worrying about work. Maybe you can pick up a hobby like handcraft (f.e. knitting, origami ect.), playing an instrument or engaging in certain outdoor sports. I know it could be much when you're low on energy, so it's important to find out something you truly enjoy to keep you (or your mind) active (maybe something you can do even when lying on bed?). The progress you make with your personal project will keep you in a more positive mindset. Lastly, some of you totally should keep your daily caffeine intake in check 👀

Pile 3: 7 of Pentacles reversed, 2 of Cups, Temperance

For Pile 3, I can tell you guys are goal-oriented people, who could get impatient when your effort are not met with immediate results. The lack of progress or productivity, whether it comes from your side or other party, could frustrate you greatly and taint your day in a sullen mood. To make your life a little bit easier, it's important to turn a mental switch when you're off work. Set your priority and boundary clear, knowing that you have tried to do the most you can with the cards you're served. There's always another day to continue or try again. Besides, if you have the "all or nothing" mentality, having compromises and taking the middle road will cut you some slack. As the world is not black or white, and it's completely normal to have inconsistency in your energy level. If you have a significant other, a close friend or family member, spending quality time with them is like swallowing a health potion. Oftentimes, they act like your personally cheerleader, hyping you up and helping you feel like your effort is seen, waaayyy before it is recognized by practical results. But hey, you can start giving it to yourself, too! Start to talk about/to yourself more kindly, like you would for someone you love.

#tarot #tarot community #tarot reading #intuitive readings #pac #pick a card #pick a card reading

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butmakeitgayblog · 3 months

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How is my favorite ball of floof, Sal?

I was just writing him today while waiting in the doctor's office 👀 he's good, he's good. Living his best life. Meeting one of his soon to be bestest friends ever

//////////////

The door swung up open before she could even finish her third knock.

Clarke felt all the air escape right out of her lungs.

Because framed in the picturesque doorway was - possibly, potentially, easily debatable once her brain would start working again - one of the most beautiful women Clarke had ever seen in her thirty nine years of life.

Just… not the one she'd expected.

“Can I help you?”

Clarke blinked back at the rounded, deep amber eyes that stared at her in gentle questioning. Blinked at the sight of a messy curled bob of black hair that fell carelessly across the elegant line of petite shoulders. Dark brown skin looked almost velvety in the shadowed threshold between inside and out, and Clarke physically swayed foward on her toes just to catch a stronger whiff of her floral perfume.

Mentally rolling her tongue back up into her skull, Clarke recovered enough to lean a sharp hook at the waist toward the left, just far enough to take another glance at the house number tacked on the side.

‘Hm… Yep, I can still read…’

“I uh...” Clarke managed to right herself and actually stammer out loud when whatever celestial being she was gawking at only continued to look at her with serene patience, “Does, uh… Does Lexa live here?”

“Yes?”

Clarke frowned when nothing else came. “O-kay… Is she… Is she here right now?”

“Well I certainly hope so. Otherwise I'm breaking and entering.” White teeth shined in a perfectly aligned row when this riddle-baring goddess's lips bent into a teasing smile. But rather than feeling like the punchline of some joke she was being left out of, the effect of this sweet angel faced woman's charm only made Clarke smile in return.

Before she could reconfigure the slog of words bumping around in her brain, a clatter of lazy tip-tap tip-taps grew loud enough to jerk Clarke's attention toward a rather large and decidedly hairy nose wedging its way into the exchange. A nose became a muzzle, became a panting white, black, and brown face. One with droopy eyes and even droopier jowls that nudged the door-guardian out of its way.

“Dude, c'mon.” Those ridiculously white teeth flashed in another soul brightening smile as the woman pushed herself away from where she'd been hip-checked into the door, and gave the beast-sized brute of a Saint Bernard a few scratches on the head. “Manners, my guy. What would your mother say about this kind of violence?”

Doleful eyes slid shut in a look of ecstasy at the rake of fingernails through his coat of cowlick laden fur.

A distant echo of muddled footsteps had the beautiful stranger turning, craning around to look behind her into the shadows of the house, which seemed entirely like an open invitation for Clarke to lift up on her toes and chance a peek into the darkeness beyond as well. Nothing gave itself away even as the padding of steps drew closer. Clarke rocked back onto the flat of her feet just before the door widened enough for another face to fit into the bizarre tableau, though it was the one single face that helped Clarke stop feeling like she needed to have an evaluation done of her own sanity.

“What is the hold up out here— Clarke,” Lexa breathed as a smile lit up her blessedly familiar face. Glasses propped on top of her head and normal school attire button down exchanged for a tight knit Henley, the sudden vision of this entirely different version of Lexa added itself to Clarke's mental catalog of the woman. Lexa slipped past the mountain of a dog, giving it an absent command of ‘Back it up, big man,’ along with a snap and a point at the floor beside her that seemed sufficient enough to have him reversing several feet out of her way. She elbowed past the woman in the doorway to beckon Clarke inward with a wave of her hand. “Sorry, I didn't know it was you. Come in. You're early.”

“Uh, yeah. I hope that's not a problem.” Clarke floundered as she stepped in at the urging, eyes darting between Lexa and the dog who'd sat itself in a flop of limbs at her side, and the stranger now silently watching it all.

“Not even a little.” The easy cadence of Lexa's words only helped to ease a fraction of Clarke's nerves. “You just said you couldn't make it for another couple hours.”

Clarke tugged upward at the collar of her sweater that suddenly felt a touch too revealing. “I dropped Madi off with her dad a little early. Much to her numerous complaints.”

The soft tilt of Lexa's lips dipped into a frown. “Everything okay?”

“Of course. Just, getting her to understand that I actually had plans was met with great disdain. It's a theme we've developed, she and I. Ever since she's gotten her license, she doesn't seem to understand the concept that my car is not somehow now her car.”

Lexa's face relaxed into a kind of relieved understanding. “Ah, I see. A driving teenager. I don't envy you.”

“We're braver than the marines,” Clarke said amidst a roll of her eyes.

In the quiet and fondness of Lexa's smile, Clarke let herself uncoil another fraction of an inch. She returned the soft sweetness of that green-eyed gaze with a herculean effort to not be the first to reach out. She'd pictured this moment more than a few times on the drive over - a few hundred more the previous evening, if she were being honest - but where'd she'd fantasized about just grabbing the woman and kissing her very pretty face off, possibly backing her into a hazy and ill-defined wall to have her way with her the second she would walk in, Clarke found herself rather perplexingly stuck to the spot. Unmoving in the relief of being in Lexa's space again. Unrushed and content to keep sharing smiles like a couple of idiots.

It was only an inelegant ruffle of fur and flapping jowls that broke the moment, followed immediately by a rather wet sounding sneeze prompting Clarke to finally drag her gaze away.

“You have a dog.”

Lexa glanced down at the mountain of black and tan fur at her side and back up. “I told you that I have a dog.”

“Uh, no,” Clarke laughed at that wild understatement and gestured to the device in her hand as though proof enough. “You text me an hour ago, ‘You're not allergic to dogs, right?’ And when I said no, you marked it with a thumbs up.”

Lexa seemed to pause in thought as her teeth worried at the plumped corner of her bottom lip. “... I did do that.”

“You did.”

“Okay, I think I might see where the breakdown in communication happened.”

“Solid work, Professor,” said a voice that drifted from over Lexa's shoulder.

“Your input isn't appreciated,” Lexa said to the startlingly still present but unidentified goddess hovering near the door. Forcing down a rather painful looking swallow as she nudged the glasses more securely up the slope of her nose, Lexa buried the obvious lede in the room and instead gestured to the hulking pile of dog sitting patiently where Lexa had left him. “Right, so I suppose introductions are in order then. Sal. This is Clarke. Clarke, this is my dog Sal. Sal, say hello.”

As if on cue, a giant paw went up in a clumsy mimic of a wave.

Clarke let out a surprised chuckle at the display, waving back on instinct before realizing that she was, in fact, waving at a dog. She let her hand drop. Idiot. “Hey, Sal. He's a… big guy, huh?”

“I'm convinced he's part moose,” Lexa sighed with an affectionate ruffle of Sal's ear. “In my defense, he was not this imposing when I got him.”

////////////

#anon #prof/stu au #teach me #lil sneaky sneak nothing special just a lil big guy Sal

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the-darklings · 2 years

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Hi, I absolutely adore tibyim I know lots of people have said it but you really capture dream so perfectly and I am loving reading the whole story and all of your drabbles. I also love your additional things like your playlist and Pinterest boards. The whole picture you paint is beautiful and I just wanted to let you know that. I know you are accepting some requests for drabbles but if you could possibly do one for dream saying “I don’t think you understand the… effect you have on me.” (From the Pinterest text posts for dream/wanderer 👀). Please don’t worry if not I just love all of your content for this fic, thank you for all you are doing and this whole story is helping me deal with a lot of personal stuff I have going on atm and I just wanted to thank you for adding some rays of sunshine into the world. ✨

pea-sized because i'm about to head off and shower. I've been a bit :/// these last few days, so apologies for the slower replies/interactions. not proofread. We die like Corinthian's lovers.

“I do not think you understand the… effect you have on me, Wanderer.”

Your mouth wobbles, resting agape while you process his words. It's rare for Dream to cut you off mid-speech—rarer, still, for him to do so with sudden, quietly fierce declarations.

"I was just talking," you mumble, your brows knitting at once.

"Yes, quite so," he agrees quietly, still peering at you intently.

Your mouth presses together this time, reading the small tells. Details you've come to decipher in him the way one may solve a puzzle. Dream of the Endless is near impossible individual to read. A tall, severe, often sullen paradox, unmoved in his iron-like convictions and stubborn ways.

Nearly, but not entirely.

Balancing on your heels, you prowl closer, your hands falling to rest behind your back. You stop right before him, gazing at him from beneath your lashes. A small, playful smile plays across your mouth, and Dream's chest expands with a silent, rather telling breath.

"And what effect may that be, Dream Lord?" you ask.

Your faux-innocent, coy question is met with a dry: "A highly vexing and a deeply distracting one."

Your mouth shapes a small 'o'. "Then I'll speak no words, offer you no smiles, and bestow no kisses upon you. It would be rather disastrous if I distracted one of the Endless so terribly. How selfish of me."

Dream's features ease slightly at your teasing, the tiniest of smiles edging across his mouth. "Most selfish indeed. But I'm afraid I will have to renegotiate."

"Oh?" you prompt with a raised brow. "Which part?"

Dream takes a step closer, and the space around you fills with him. The Dreaming, as always, moves with its Lord and cold night, dry books, and daydreams in their sweet, velvety softness wrap around you. An arm around your waist, a steadying body pressing into yours. Endless. With power, few could ever match.

"All parts," he replies.

Your smile widens, your fingers knotting in the lapels of his midnight coat. "Rather selfish of you. If Dream King wants a kiss, he needs only ask for one."

"Nicely, I presume?"

A small hmm vibrates in your throat, implication laid bare, and Dream's silvery, glowing gaze darkens. "Stardust..."

You slant closer, holding him by the lapels, and Dream's soft exhales kiss over your mouth. He leans into you as you did, his grip around you constricting, fingers knotting tighter around you though his features betray little of his internal struggle. You veer left at the last moment, just when heat grazes near your parted mouth, instead skimming your lips across his cool, hollowed cheek. You linger there, imprinting love and devotion there.

This close, Dream's exhale is shuddering, near pained, but it's hard to judge if it's frustration or elation or a wicked mix of both.

"Yes," you hum happily as you pull away, releasing your hold on him. "It would seem I do have quite the effect. I'll be sure to abuse it in the future. You can never escape my evil wiles now."

A deep, rumbling sound builds in Dream's throat. He sweeps his coat around you abruptly, and your delighted, knowing laugh is lost in the pockets of the universe.

You don't make it to bed. Not any tactile version of it anyway.

#the sandman #dream x reader #dream of the endless #morpheus x reader #morpheus imagines #sandman x reader #the sandman netflix #sandman dream #morpheus x fem!reader #dream x fem!reader #sandman imagine #tom sturridge #fic: today i bury you in me #they're being like this and we're just letting them huh?

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inhuman-obey-me · 9 months

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I wonder…… would it be actually possible for an angel and a demon to have offspring? And even then what it would be like? I don’t remember if there’s anything like that mentioned in the game, and considering they’re like, mortal enemies maybe in the bible lore I doubt that realistically there would be any answer apart from “no” but like……… imagine an angel/devil child in om and what it could mean for the three realms👀

Interesting question, since theoretically angel/demon physiology should be some kind of similar/compatible, but our answer is pretty definitively no, they could not have offspring together.

We have talked a bit previously about where we think angels and demons respectively come from in our Three Realms Headcanons post many moons ago, but here's a quick recap of the relevant parts:

All angels are created by their "Father" aka God; there is no concept of pregnancy or fertility amongst angels because God personally creates each of them.

Unlike angels, who are each created by God, some demons -- especially minor/lower ones -- are born through the manifestation of humans’ sins and negative energy.

Mid-tier and high level demons can be created through various means, including but not limited to sex. However, sex and pregnancy do not work the same way for demons as they do for humans. All demons involved have to consciously imbue themselves with magic that will make them fertile and guarantee conception; otherwise they are sterile by default.

This process also isn’t limited to a pair of male/female demons - multiple demons of whatever gender can contribute to the conception of a demon baby, and the child will take traits from every parent involved.

Other mid- and high-tier demon births can come from ceremonies, rituals, magic, etc.

We know that, canonically, the angels all call each other Brother and Sister, and all of them refer to God as Father as it is implied he is the one who created each of them. We also know that, as Simeon himself describes, "Lucifer and his brothers" were always a more close-knit group than how other angels interacted and they as a unit were their own separate thing. Additionally, it has been implied that angels do not necessarily get created as babies; although there are many "when you're older" comments made towards Luke, Asmodeus talks about the first Asmo Night being something like 1 week after his creation. Together, this all implies that none of them otherwise have "biological" families that that gave birth to them, and none of them can be parents either, as only God can create angels. Though to be clear, this isn't an "angels can't have sex" statement, only "angels can't have babies"!

Now, arguably since our headcanons for the demon side of births do include magical ceremonies and angels do have magic, there could perhaps be angel magic contributed into the birth of a demon. However, we also know that Mammon has suggested that angel blessings could kill a demon like him. Therefore, it would seem like rather than helping to create a new demon, it would hurt the potential demon baby or cancel out the demon magic in that process.

As for what a demon/angel child would mean for the OM world if one could be born, well, that's basically answered by MC's existence! Season 2 basically revolves all around the idea that MC has both angel magic from Lilith and demon magic from the pacts. And, well, Season 2 treats it as a deeply unstable combination that in fact threatens the safety of all three realms. So, maybe it's a good thing if there can't be any children born between angels and demons!

#once again us at every opportunity: god's an asshole #that three realms headcanons post is a primer for how we approach OM stuff haha #obey me #obey me!#obey me swd #obey me shall we date #omswd #obey me nightbringer #obey me worldbuilding #obey me celestial realm #obey me devildom #obey me headcanons #ask and ye shall be answered

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bungiri · 15 days

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Oh! My mind is a little mixed at the moment, but what is Wren's relationship with her parents now that they are revamped? 👀✨️

wren has a surprisingly good relationship with her family this time around HDJSKSJJK there are some ups and downs, but they're a close-knit family and both marisol and alejandro are supportive, protective, and loving parents.

here's a doodle of little bb wren and marisol before i start rambling

i hope y’all like my writing i rly tried my best with it i even edited it this time LMAO

wren & alejandro

the hero and fatherhood’s labyrinth

as soon as wren arrived, wrapped in soft pink blankets like a surprise gift, alejandro's heart swelled with joy and wonder. it was as if a new world of possibilities had opened up before his very eyes. he cradled her, marveling at the tiny fingers that mirrored his own. the sight of her little face looking up at his with adoration ignited a fierce determination to be a hero of legend in her eyes.

yet, the responsibilities as a public figure and a protector of his village were relentless, pulling him away to distant lands and leaving echoes of his absence at home. alejandro juggled interviews, autographs, and monster hunts, while marisol tended to their daughter’s scraped knees and told bedtime stories about the junimos. his nights were filled with whispered apologies, and longing looks into wren’s crib as she slept without hearing so much as a “goodnight” from him.

one of alejandro’s biggest turning points happened when he returned home at nightfall after a group mission had taken the day away from him. standing at the doorstep with boots caked in sand from the crimson badlands, marisol greeted him with a kiss before she quietly informed him that wren had uttered her first word that day as she gazed at the sunflowers in the morning light.

when he realized he had missed that crucial moment—the first time his daughter's small voice echoed—he felt his heart drop. the image of wren’s bright eyes seeking his haunted his thoughts. the same blade that felled monsters now carved distance between him and his family. alejandro wiped tears from his eyes as he came to the realization that he wanted nothing more than for his daughter to see him not as the hero that he portrayed himself as in interviews and professionally photographed posters, but as her father first and foremost.

that night, under the stars, alejandro made a silent vow to bridge the chasm his absences had created.

stepping up as a father

alejandro began to carve out moments, however small, to be there for wren. he would return from his travels with stories and trinkets, hoping to spark wonder in her world. he taught her to wield a sword, not just as a weapon, but as a symbol of courage and protection. he shared tales of his adventures, instilling in her the values of bravery and kindness.

he recognized that the truest form of heroism lay in the everyday acts of love and presence. he listened more, spoke less, and cherished the quiet moments they shared.

in the end, alejandro realized that being a father was the greatest adventure of all. as she grew up into an adult, wren saw him as not just the hero of the people, but her loving father.

wren & marisol

in the quiet corners of suncove farm, where the whispers of nature spoke volumes, marisol cradled her newborn daughter, wren. to marisol, was not just a child but a promise— a promise of a future where the misunderstood creatures of the world would find an ally, a caretaker, and a voice. just as they had in her.

through marisol’s eyes, wren was a beacon of hope. each giggle and curious gaze upon the blooming world around her was a testament to the potential within. marisol saw in wren the continuation of a legacy that transcended the written word and rooted itself in the very essence of life.

to baby wren, marisol was a figure of warmth and safety. her mother's voice was a lullaby that intertwined with the rustling leaves, and her touch was as gentle as the evening breeze. as wren grew, marisol became a symbol of wisdom— a guide through the enchanting, yet often misunderstood, tapestry of nature.

now an adult, wren’s understanding of her mother is like a puzzle with missing pieces. she pours over marisol’s worn-down journals and textbooks, tracing the inked lines of her mother's thoughts. she seeks to know the woman who is both a mystery and a muse. her memories are faint, but they hold the power of an unbreakable bond. wren walks the paths her mother once tread, the air heavy with unspoken stories. the journals hint at a depth of knowledge and connection that wren yearns to grasp fully.

in the quiet moments, when the sun dips below the horizon and the stars begin their nightly vigil, wren feels the closest to marisol. it’s in these moments that the whispers of the past seem to speak the loudest, promising that the mysteries of yesterday will someday illuminate the truths of tomorrow.

#farmer wren #farmer wren lore #caretaker marisol #adventurer alejandro #ocs #original character #my art 𓈒˚⭒#bunnymail ⸝⸝ 💌 ★

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prettyboyeddiemunson · 2 years

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14. Tell me how it feels. It doesn't hurt does it ?

Steveddie

Dom eddie? 👀

from (x) / still accepting!

______

“You’re taking me so well, Steve. Look at you.”

Steve’s head was thrown back, relentless, desperate moans falling from his lips as Eddie pushed inside of him. Steve felt so overwhelmed, but in the best possible way. He was dizzy, his fingertips finding purchase in the skin on Eddie’s back as he roughly dug in. He worried about bruising him, but Eddie didn’t seem to mind; in fact, the pain it brought only caused him to groan pleasurably, his big brown eyes peering into Steve’s. Steve reached up to push some hair out of Eddie’s face so that he could see him properly, a lazy smile on his own face as he admired his boyfriend.

“Holy shit, dude,” Steve said breathlessly. “Just when I thought you couldn’t be any hotter, you surprise me.”

“Turning sappy now, are we?” Eddie joked, leaning down to press a hot kiss to Steve’s lips as he pushed in further. He waited until he was bottomed out and Steve was moaning again to pull back, caressing the skin by the corner of his mouth. “Are you okay?”

“Oh, I’m wonderful,” Steve said, chuckling as he clung to Eddie, bringing his body impossibly closer to his. “Just wonderful.”

“I can’t tell if you’re being a smart ass or not, man,” Eddie said, his brows slightly knitted. He wasn’t thrusting yet, wanting to assure, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Steve was alright. “Tell me how it feels. It doesn’t hurt, does it?”

“No, it feels good,” Steve said, his lust-blown eyes finding Eddie’s again. “It feels really damn good, actually.”

“I’m glad to hear it,” Eddie said, leaning down to press a kiss to Steve’s collarbone before giving a gentle, experimental thrust. “How about that? Still good?”

Steve nodded quickly, his cock achingly hard between them. Eddie began to move, slowly at first and increasing speed every time he asked Steve if he was still doing alright. Eddie found a good rhythm after a little bit of trial & error—too hard seemed to be painful for Steve, too slow wasn’t enough—and Eddie’s hips began to snap back and forth at a medium pace. Steve’s head tipped again, beautiful moans leaving his lips as Eddie found the perfect angle to hit his prostate. His lips left open-mouthed kisses all along Steve’s neck and throat, one hand wrapping around his cock as he started stroking him. Steve felt so overwhelmed again, his ecstasy threatening to drown him as wave upon wave of pleasure rained down.

“You’re so fuckin’ pretty like this,” Eddie remarked, smiling as he railed into Steve’s prostate. The pace was hard and fast, but Steve no longer felt pain. He just looked up at Eddie, completely lost in lust as Eddie pounded into him. “You’re so dumb for my cock, aren’t you? Look at you, Steve; you’re practically drooling right now.”

“Jesus Christ,” Steve breathed, clawing at Eddie’s back as Eddie moaned hotly in response. He leaned down to suck one of Steve’s nipples, pulling out almost completely before slamming back inside. Steve arched his back, bucking into Eddie’s fist as Eddie jerked him off swiftly. “Eddie…Shit, that’s…that’s…”

“That’s what?” Eddie asked, moving up to look at Steve through his messed hair. “Use your words, pretty baby.”

“That’s…it feels so…” Steve said, and Eddie slowed his thrusts as he waited for Steve to finish. Steve whined impatiently, and said the first word that came to mind so that Eddie could start again. “Amazing. It feels amazing.”

“Why, thank you,” Eddie said with a smirk, resuming once he was satisfied.

He hovered over Steve, one hand supporting his weight while the other continued to pump Steve’s leaking erection. Steve looped his fingers through the necklace dangling from Eddie’s neck, drawing him in for a sloppy, heated kiss. Eddie moaned against Steve’s lips as Steve pulled roughly at Eddie’s hair, licking the roof of Steve’s mouth before he drew back. He rammed into Steve’s prostate at his swiftest speed yet, and when Steve began twitching in Eddie’s fist, Eddie withdrew and lay back on the bed. Steve was caught off guard, wondering what Eddie was doing and why he suddenly stopped. But the smug grin on Eddie’s face told him that nothing was wrong, and that Eddie had something else up his sleeve.

Sure enough, he was right.

“Come here,” Eddie said, tugging Steve into his lap until Steve was straddling him. He ran his hands up Steve’s toned chest, whistling at the sight of his naked body on top of his own. “I want you to do something for me.”

“What?” Steve asked, feeling breathless and still confused by the change. “What is it you want me to do?”

Eddie gently coaxed Steve onto his cock, causing both of them to cry out at the sensation. Steve felt full again, and he began to rock his hips on impulse as Eddie admired him. “You’re doing it,” he said to Steve, tracing one of his V-lines with his finger. “Just like that, Steve. Just like that.”

He didn’t touch Steve again yet, and swatted his hand away when he tried doing it himself. Two fingers pinched one of Steve’s nipples, rolling it and swiping his thumb over the hard bud as Steve’s head lolled. Eddie licked his lips, watching Steve glide along his cock at a slow pace. Eddie thrust upward, hitting Steve’s prostate as Steve cried out in response. He moved desperately, riding Eddie with his guidance as Eddie helped set him on a faster pace. Eddie smiled at him, finally taking Steve’s cock into his fist again as he stroked him quickly. His thumb rubbed the slit, circling it before his brown eyes settled on Steve’s face.

“You’re so beautiful when you’re desperate,” Eddie said, groaning as Steve’s nails raked down his tattooed chest. “Who would have ever believed that Steve Harrington, ladies’ man extraordinaire, would be so needy for the town freak?”

“I guess I’m just full of surprises,” Steve panted, his eyes rolling back for a moment as he slammed his hips repeatedly on Eddie’s throbbing erection.

“That you are,” Eddie remarked, giving his hip a squeeze. “I want you to do one more thing.”

“What now?” Steve asked, his voice nearly a whine.

Eddie removed his hand from Steve’s cock, and tucked his arms behind his head as he smirked up at his boyfriend. “Touch yourself for me. I want you to get yourself off to me, and I’m going to do nothing to help you. All I’m going to do is sit back and enjoy the show.”

———————————-

itty bitty tags: @littledemondani @rriverrgrace @korescomaactually

ask to be tagged if you want on the taglist!

#steddie #steveddie #steve x eddie #stranger things #stranger things imagine #stranger things 4 #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things blurb #steddie smut #steveddie smut

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hey-august · 5 days

Text

@soupsprout, you wanted the sad ending to this angst and here it is! I'm gonna go curl up and feel both accomplished and bad for a while. 🥲

Also, @rorywritesjunk, I put the answer to the riddle in this ending, if you're still curious. 👀

➜ First part here WC: ~600 Warnings: buggy x GN!reader, mentions of death (off-screen reader and others), mentions of blood, just overall sad and angsty, no comfort

˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗ ✩ ˗ˏˋ ★ ˎˊ˗

Things were bad and then they got worse. It took too long to find help, not that it would have mattered. Mohji tried to tell Buggy, but he wasn’t sure if the captain really heard him.

Buggy was sitting on the ground next to you, holding your limp hand in his, and staring at nothing. Your body was slumped against his, as if you were resting. Your face was covered in red - smeared handprints from someone trying to wake you up, and face paint from someone apologizing and begging for something to change.

“Captain, what should we do? We can’t just stay here.”

No response.

“Captain? We have to do somethin-”

Buggy grabbed Mohji by the neck. The anger that flashed on his face was briefly preceded by a more painful and haunting expression.

“Go after them. Chase those fuckers down, anyone who got away,” Buggy said through gritted teeth.

Mohji nodded and coughed when Buggy let go. “And…” The next question trailed off as the lion tamer struggled not to see you, but a body that needed to be disposed of.

“That’s all. Those are the orders. Go!”

Buggy knew exactly what Mohji was going to ask, but he wasn’t ready yet. Besides seeking vengeance, he didn’t know what to do. He didn’t know how to feel. He was full of anger and blame, which fueled the wrath that he used to lash out indiscriminately.

Of course he blamed the raiders who ambushed his ship, and Buggy made sure they felt regret until their last breath. The sounds of screaming and begging for mercy went on far longer than anyone Buggy’s crew expected.

Unfortunately, Buggy’s anger turned on them next. They shouldn’t have let this happen. Rather than exploding with violence, Buggy began to withdraw. Part of him knew it wasn’t their fault, the crew always had each other’s backs, but he had trouble looking at anyone that was in the same room as you.

For a brief moment, Buggy also blamed you. It was your fault. You shouldn’t have gotten hurt. You should have known better. As soon as that thought formed, all the guilt fell onto Buggy’s shoulders. How could he think that of you? How could he have let this happen? He put you in danger. He didn’t protect you. He didn’t save you. He just let you die.

Buggy couldn’t bring himself to give you a burial at sea. He was afraid of sending you somewhere he couldn’t follow. You said it didn’t matter during one of those late night talks that knitted you two closer together. He remembered how bright the stars were then.

Instead of giving your body to the sea, Buggy chose a small island. One where you could always see the stars, even if they don’t shine as bright anymore.

Eventually, Buggy started eating with the crew again. Laughing with them. Drinking with them. But some days, he would withdraw. He’d sit down on the bloodstained floor, after forbidding anyone from cleaning or replacing the boards, and spend time with you.

At first he would just sit there in silence, full of pain and heartache. Then he started talking. Buggy would tell you about life on the ship, what happened that day, any little story that popped into his mind.

Sometimes, Buggy would tell you jokes and riddles. He always made sure to tell you the punchline as soon as possible, pushed by remorse and fear of leaving you without the answer again. He’d indulge in the humor until his laugh turned into sobs that he couldn’t hold in any longer.

Wiping away his tears with the back of his hands, he'd sit there with a single stinging thought. After losing you, Buggy felt like a lion at the South Pole. He felt lost.

#buggy angst #buggy x reader #buggy the clown x reader #buggy x you #buggy the clown #x reader #buggy op #opla buggy #one piece buggy

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taintedcigs · 1 year

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Hi queen <3 if you’re taking requests rn can I some Eddie x female!reader, where he helps reader got over their motivational slump… in whatever way possible 👀

Xoxoxo!

✦ MOTIVATION | e.m. ✦

pairing — dom!eddie munson x f!reader

warnings — SMUT! MINORS DNI!! 18+, degrading (name-calling mostly) and praising k*nk, cockwarming !!!, mean!dom!eddie, nicknames (bunny, pretty girl, etc.) but also kind of soft!dom!eddie, very very small aftercare, brat!reader, p in v, smut smut smut, NO MINORS!!, breeding k*nk, JUST VERY FILTHY!

a/n — i will take all of ur requests wyv! <33 this is such a good request bc im in a motivational slump rn omg. and i got a bit carried away w this but its not that long i hope u like it <33

first of all, i think it would start with eddie getting annoyed with you for not finishing your essay! bc he wants to spend time with you and he's waiting for you to finish your essay, but you're being a brat and whining and everything!!

so the next time you huff and complain about your work, he gets up hurrying over to you, and you look at him confused as he picks you up, situating you on his lap, you giggle because you're ready for him to finally pay some attention to you, but when you attempt to turn to face him, he tsks, 'stay like that.' he orders and you whine again, 'whiny little baby.' he spits as he slaps your thigh, you gasp. you rub your thighs together at his action, and his hands are quick to make their way up your dress and your thighs, you can feel your cunt getting soaked with just the way his calloused fingers graze your thighs, he takes notice of how you get worked up and he quickly wants to remove your panties, instead, his fingers brush against your soaked cunt, he curses under his breath. 'no panties?' he asks, and you shake your head, 'didn't feel like wearin' them' you murmur, moving against him in an attempt to tease him, but his other hand is quick to grip your waist, holding you tightly.

you whimper as he pinches your clit, 'such a little slut.' he spits, and when his fingers graze against your clit, you bite your lip, wanting nothing more than to have his fingers inside of you, and when he doesn't give you anything you start whining again, turning to face him as you pout, but he still doesn't budge as he turns you back towards your work again, and you cross your arms against your chest. 'stop being a brat or i won't touch you at all.' his voice is darker now, and you nod slowly. 'm sorry, i just need you' your voice is soft. 'now stay still, and i don't want any fuckin' word from you, you hear that you my bratty bunny?' he orders as you nod, excited to see what he's going to do. you hear him unbuckling his pants, and zipper, you feel the movement of him removing his pants and his boxers to his knees, and as you are about to turn to face him, he holds you in place once again, making you squeal. 'be still.' he grits through his teeth.

and without a warning, he picks you up, placing you on top of his hard, angry, cock. you gasp, squeal, and moan all at the same time at the feeling, he hasn't even filled you fully yet but you are whimpering, moaning on top of him, so cock drunk with just his tip inside of you. 's'big, eds. n-need more.' you stutter. he's happy to give you more as he sheathes his huge cock inside of your tight walls, loud groans slipping past his lips as he fills your tight cunt to the brim, the first thrust was so animalistic that you mewled under him, begging for more, but he was quick to hush you as his grip on your waist tightened. you knit your brows in confusion, not able to turn to look at him.

'nuh-uh, princess. you're going to stay like this. and you won't fuckin' move until you finished that damn essay, is that clear?' he demands and you huff, pouting as you started your whining again, but you are quickly shut up as he slams into you ruthlessly, your body shaking as you moan with the feeling of being stuffed with his cock, you love it, so so much that you don't even know how you will be able to make it through your whole essay without any movement.

'lil' whiny bratty bunny. don't worry, i'll give you something for every 100 words you write, do you understand, baby?' you nod quickly, picking up your pen to start writing your 1000 words essay, ready to be finished with it. but as you start writing it, you quickly start to get impatient, always attempting to grind against him, but being met with a slap on your thigh, as eddie's grip on your waist tighten, 'if you move again slut, i will make sure you won't get to cum at all.' you cross your arms against your chest, pouting again. 'p-please, eds.' you would always murmur, but he would pay you no mind. your eyes would almost well up in tears, and his plump lips would form into a smirk. 'aww, is my greedy lil' bunny such a slut that she's crying for my cock, hmm?' he would mock as you would nod, 'my pretty little crybaby...' he would mutter as he placed kisses all over your face, urging you to finish it or else you wouldn't cum.

and when you finally finished writing your essay, you would start your begging. 'pleasepleaseplease, eds. i need you to move.' you would whine as you were finally allowed to turn to him. he would pick you up, turning you to face him as you would gasp at the empty feeling. and with a quick movement, eddie would thrust his hard cock into you, you could feel every ridge and every bump of his cock as he brutally prodded his cock inside your soaked, tight walls. you gasped and whined at the feeling, and you moaned his name like a mantra, digging your nails into his skin, he fucked you till you saw the stars, not stopping until you were begging and pleading to cum, and when you finally released on his cock, the way your tight cunt hugged his cock was enough to send him over the edge, 'saved all my cum for you, my pretty lil' slut, gonna fill you up.' he hissed and with that he came with a groan of your name, calling you 'his lil' cock slut, his bunny, his pretty lil' baby' he spilled his load deep inside of you.

'f-fuck take it all, bunny' the amount of cum that spilled out of his cock was impressive, you could feel him deep inside of you, and you could feel his cock twitching inside of your tight walls. the two of you are breathless as you come down from your highs, you can feel his cock softening inside of you, but neither of you attempt to move, your cunt is still gripping him nicely as he places a kiss on your forehead. 'let's stay like this for a while, is that okay with you princess?' he murmurs as you eagerly nod, not wanting his huge cock to leave your insides empty.

✧ feel free to send me anything in my asks, requests, ask me anything, ask for advice or tell me about your life, i need nonnies!! ily all xo, em <3

#eddie munson imagine #eddie munson smut #eddie munson x reader #eddie munson fanfic #eddie munson x y/n #eddie munson drabbles #stranger things imagine #em’s mail💌

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sensei-venus · 1 year

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Can u do a Anthony larusso x fem reader just on a walk holding hands - who knows who they see 👀

(Unedited) (Teens being teens, Sneaking Out, Lying to parents, Kissing, Fondling, Sam being a busskill and kinda cockblocking?)

The two teens haven't been dating for long, a few weeks at most. Their relationship started in secret do to the fact Anthony was scared of his parents making it a big deal, or in his opinion the worse case, Sam finding out and making them into a joke. The thought of his sister possible making his relationship with the shy chubby girl made his blood boil but also his stomach turn. The two decided to try and act natural around each other when his family was around.

She still went over to his house to help him study for tests and classes or movie game nights. They still got moments together. But they still had to be extremely cautious when she came over. Sam liked to pop into his room ever now and then to mess with him a little about having his “friend” over. His mom and dad would occasionally stop in to say “hi” before disappearing. It was stressful for both teens.

That’s why they decided to sneak around when it came to dating.

When the idea of lying to his parents about going out with some of the kids from the dojo came around, he took it. Sam told Daniel and Amanda she was going to hang out with a group of the dojo students, they just assumed that Anthony was also going with them. They never actually asked him to be specific on who he was going with.

That’s what landed him and his girlfriend at golf-n-stuff for a nice little date. They meet up outside before going in and grabbing something to drink before heading out to the golf course.

Anthony just rolled his eyes as Reader beat him over and over again at the golf course. She was amazing at it while Anthony had to suck it up that he sucked compared to her. She laughed at the way his brow knitted up in frustration as she got another ball in the hole. She thought it was cute that she was finally able to beat him at something. He usually beat her at videos games much to her demise. At least she had this win up her sleeve.

After they finished a few rounds and their game, they laughed and kissed a bit. Not caring if anyone caught a eyeful of their touches and kisses. They where out of the LaRusso house and free to touch and kiss all they wanted without worrying about who saw them. Anthony couldn’t help but crack a grin at the smile Reader had on her lips and the way she giggled as they separated.

The two of them wonder off of the golf course and back into the arcade area. They walked hand in though the arcade area, Anthony pulling her closer as they walked though the small spaces of the arcade and around groups of people. They finally found a more quiet area between two arcade games in the back area.

They held each other as they took everything in. Small kisses where shared. Not a thought went though their heads.

———————————————————————

Sam laughed along with some of the other guys as they walked into Golf-n-stuff. The movie they all went to was shorter then they expected so they decided to head over to the arcade. Hoping to finish up the night with some games and half good pizza from concession stand. Hawk offered to buy everyone the first found of tokens for the arcade games.

Everyone huddled together as Hawk went to go get the first round of tokens. They chatted about the movie they watched.

Miguel was doing rapid hand movements as he said “I wasn’t expecting her to jump out like that! Total jump scare.” Robby snorted saying “No I wasn’t ready for when that dude went right though the door at the end.” They all laughed and continued talking.

A few minutes passed until Hawk came stumbling back over with a bucket full of tokens, a smirk on his face.

“Y’all are not going to believe who I just saw in the arcade area, making out with some chick.”

Everyone quirked a brow at his words.

“What are you talking about man?”

Hawk smirked saying, his arm coming out to poke at Sam’s elbow.

“You didn’t tell us your brother was total going for chicks now. Especially the fact that he’s into chubby chicks, that would have been a interesting talk I would have been down for.”

Sam’s face went hot, her cheeks felt hot and flushed. If this was some kind of joke then it seriously wasn’t all that funny. Miguel and Robby raised a eyebrow as they looked to same for some kind of explanation. Hawk just smirked and chuckled under his breath.

Sam huffed saying “Hawk stop that isn’t funny. No way my brother is out alone kissing some girl. He’s not even dating anyone. He’s supposed to be home-“ Sam’s face went completely pale. The color draining. Robby said “Uh are you ok? You don’t look to good-“

“Oh my god he said he was going out tonight right after I said I was going out with you guys- I bet our parents thought he was talking about going with US tonight. He fucked lied so he could go sneak off with some girl!”

Miguel grinned “I’ll give him props, he took the opportunity he had to sneak out.” Robby nodded.

Sam quickly said “You said the arcade? Show me where.” Hawk pouted a little “Oh man not you trying to cockblock your little brother, that’s kinda messed up.” Sam rolled her eyes and huffed, Hawk quickly turned around and started walking back from where he came from. The small group followed behind the taller teen. They passed a few arcade games and deeper into the darker part of the arcade’s.

Getting the the back it was more quiet and only a few people crowed around some games. Stopping mid way Hawk pointed to the back of the room, between two games. Sam’s eyes widened as she started to realize that Hawk really wasn’t messing with her.

In the very back of the room, a mop of dark curly hair was bobbing around as the person leaned down and kissed a very plump body. It was definitely a girl and she was shorter then the boy by a few good inches. A hand was laced though his curls and gently gripped at his roots, a arm was around his shoulder and neck as they kissed. The boys arms where snug around the girls thick waist, hands gripping and fondling her ass.

“A-Anthony…”

It was was quiet but she could still hear the girls whisper from halfway across the room.

That set Sam off.

“Anthony LaRusso what do you think your doing!!?!”

Anthony shot up in a instant, his head shooting up and backwards in pure fear. His head slammed back into the arcade behind him sending a loud bang though the room. He yelped before looking over to where Sam and the group stood.

“Shit”

(To be continued….? I’ll make another part of anyone asks.)

#cobra kai #cobra kai blog #cobra kai ask blog #cobra kai headcanons #cobra kai confessions #cobra kai imagine #cobra kai anthony #anthony larusso #anthony larusso x reader #anthony larusso x chubby!reader #cobra kai x plus size reader #plus size reader #cobra kai x chubby reader #cobra kai miguel #cobra kai robby #cobra kai hawk #cobra kai demetri #cobra kai fanfic

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mmalakite · 2 years

Text

I may be working on a couple of fics for our lovely Gaster... 👀

A little peep into one of them~

(click for better quality)

Excerpt under the cut!

"[...] He knew not to whom he owed the terror of having his Soul bared towards the suffocating void against his better will—the vast unknowable, an omnipotent hand of a curious other Soul? There must not be any answers other than such. For only one so powerful, overwhelming, captivating could pull at his so adamantly. He felt an urgency to the pull, none but pure, enshrouding, spine-shivering elation. Who was it? Why were they so eager? Had he not been isolated all this time? Had the echoes of his screams finally reached an invisible end in this terrifying, expansive void?

These questions now seemed to silence themselves to an utter reticence.

A human. A girl. She whined lowly, eyes screwed shut, trapping the tears at the edge of her lashes, with her mouth open as she breathed heavily as if impoverished of air itself. Sweat dewed across her face, quick and continuous as it encapsulated the thick ichor of blood trailing down her nose to her lips.

He shook heavily. His hands, mutated and yet lithe, held closely to his chest his disheveled Soul, which seemed to deny its own sanctuary at the presence of the other Soul before him... Fear was quick with capturing him as realization dawned on him. That Soul... His gaze flit between the girl and the estranged culmination of being floating an arm's length away from where he crouched. He could tell it had not always been as damaged as it looked, knowing well its nature dyed in deep, mesmerizing red... His brows knit together, uncertainty painting his face as all possible reason behind the clean fracture on the girl's Soul raced to take the forefront of his mind.

The swirling thoughts returned. Who was she? Why was she so eager? How had she found him from within his isolation?

The girl's eyes fluttered open as she, alarmingly to him, laughed softly. Her smile was lopsided and sluggish, her tongue swiping away the blood from her lips.

"Well I'll be damned," she mumbled, smile bordering to a pleased smirk, "doctor Wingdings Gaster."

.... Who in the stars was she?!"

#undertale #wd gaster #gaster #gaster x reader #my art #malakite-roses #W. D. Gaster #Wigndings Gaster

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sinnaminttoast · 4 months

Text

We got a balance update and I’m here to give you my nonsensical commentary/thoughts on it

Oh boy am I ready/nervous for what awaits me in this video.

Will I have a nervous breakdown about the possibilities of what this video will contain? Maybe, but you’ll never know.

Anyways…onto my thoughts

Oh??? So smartass is gonna be caught up on what’s going on. Alright…I mean I think we only ever had Geordi’s reaction to magic so this’ll be interesting.

SMARTASS REMEMBERING THE CARDS THING 😭😭 oh they are…let me date smartass plzzz

LMAOOO OH THEY REALLY GAGGED HIM 🤭

Smartass just already knowing magic exists “like yeah…I know people with cool powers exist. So what?”

Yo if I was smartass and someone told me “this involves kidnapping and conspiracy..”

I’M…I’m not mentally equipped for this one Aar bear 😁✌️

Elliot and Smartass are both of my brain cells theorizing about what the fuck is going on.

Someone strong enough to sneak in and sneak out you say??? 🤨

I think I know of a STRONG stealth who can SNEAK around…👀

Not Asher catching strays for no reason. PAPERWORK IS UGLY OKAY?? I understand him.

“Or maybe he just got better at hiding it.” OKAY! Alright! That line right there….WOW OKAY! Let’s not even open that one because as someone who is anxious…😬 oh it’s rough. Let’s just say that line hit a little too close to home.

Okay me and Elliott can be anxiety buddies…

I know I can be unserious but let’s be serious for a sec.

It’s actually so amazing how Erik makes sure we remember how awful the tragedy of the inversion was. Yeah sure we had the inversion videos to guide us through it but even now Erik makes sure we know that it still affected people outside of those characters.

That it left the department in disarray and with people feeling completely lost about what had happened.

Was not expecting to hear a southern accent but I’m not mad.

I want to know how the department has been dealing with Closeknit …CAUSE NO SERIOUSLY! They literally just kidnapped someone 😭

Oh wow…I didn’t know you…okay mysterious agent tell us your violent fantasies of what you’d like to do with Close Knit.

EMOTIONALLY COMPROMISED?! 😦

Oh wow!

Elliott is gonna be sick y’all.

“I can’t lose them Aaron.”

So does Erik want me to jump off the edge rn?? /J

“They were so scared… in the dream. I tried to tell them what they had to do to fight it. I tried to help…but I couldn’t. I couldn’t do anything. I’m supposed to be able to protect them. Dreams are the one thing I’m good at. The one thing I know better than anything else…and I couldn’t help them.”

Send the flood. I’m being so serious.

ELLIE AND SUNSHINE I’LL GET YOU OUTTA THERE 🏃‍♀️💨

WELL THE MISSION HASN’T HAPPENED! According to the summit…Closeknit is still up and running so 🫠

THAT HE’S GONNA WHAT AARON??

I imagine that even though it is killing him to think about Sunshine…he needs them like the air he breathes.

(Yes I stole that from a Conan gray song and yes it hurt me to write that.)

“They were a good balance for one another.”

CAN YOOU LET ME BREATHE FOR ONE FUCKING SECOND??

I’ll go get Sunshine myself if no one else will!

And we end with a kiss and uncertainty

So that was the end of that video….

I usually end with a meme but how do I end this without furiously sobbing???

I really tried to be light hearted with this one BUT IT WAS A STRUGGLE TO NOT CRY!

When I catch you Closeknit…oh it’s gonna go down…ESPECIALLY YOU BLAKE😺

I’ll make him eat my foot 🦶 and I’m so serious

#redacted asmr #redacted audio #redactedverse #redacted the balance #redacted elliott #redacted aaron #redacted smartass #redacted sunshine

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geralt-of-baevia · 26 days

Text

Call It What You Want: Chapter Seven

pairing: nobreakout!joel x f!ofc (Violet Fletcher)

rating: explicit, MDNI 18+

word count: 3.3k

summary: Seeking solace from a painful breakup, Violet relocates to a tranquil town, purchasing a neglected house to renovate. In her new neighborhood, she befriends Harlow, who introduces her to Joel, a gruff and seasoned contractor with a heart of gold. Despite Joel's initial grumpiness, Violet finds herself drawn to his expertise and hidden kindness.

As Violet immerses herself in home renovations alongside Joel, their dynamic begins to shift, with Joel unexpectedly opening himself up to the possibility of love. Their budding relationship faces challenges as shadows from their pasts emerge, testing their newfound connection.

warnings/tags: fluff, child loss, descriptions of a car wreck, friend loss, reproductive anatomy talk, more crying, maria being a cunt, and i think that's it

a/n: so, im not telling you the next chapter something finally happens between our two love birds...but I'm also not NOT telling you that 👀. this chapter is another kinda sappy, sad one. but man, I love these characters so much. 💕

The rest of the afternoon Harlow helped me make some biscuits to take to dinner. Apparently we were going to be having breakfast, and I wanted to contribute something.

“What’s this other dough that’s in the fridge?” Harlow asked. I looked over to see her pointing at a square slab of dough wrapped in seran wrap.

“Oh, that’s going to be croissants. The dough is chilling after laminating it,” I told her. I started to explain what that was, but she stopped me.

“I’ve watched enough Great British Bake Off, I know what that is,” she said proudly. I shook my head and laughed.

“Who are you making croissants for?”

“For Bill and Frank. I told them at the wedding I’d make them some as a wedding present,” I said happily. A huge grin spread across her face. She bit at her bottom lip to try and contain it. “What?”

“Okay, okay, you twisted my arm, I’ll tell you,” she said, rocking back and forth on her feet.

“Tell me what?”

“I think Frank is going to ask you to bake pies and things for their restaurant,” she said excitedly. My eyes widened and my jaw slacked.

“Wait-wait what?” I asked, not believing what I was hearing. “But, but why?”

“Because Frank really likes you. And Bill really likes your croissants. Oh and Joel wouldn’t shut up one day about an apple pie you made,” she said, knitting her brow together at the mention of the pie.

“Awh yes, the pie he was practically eye fucking,” I said with a giggle. Her face scrunched together in disgust.

“Okay first off, ew. Second off, I need you to make me a pie so I can try some,” she said. I shook my head.

“How about for next week’s dinner I’ll make a pie? I’ll take a vote on what flavor.”

She clapped her hands excitedly. “Yay! Oh my god, then everyone gets to try your food! Which, everyone should be. This town is going to fall in love with you.”

I rolled my eyes with a smirk. “If you say so.”

Once the biscuits were done and cooled enough, we drove in Harlow’s car to Joel’s. When we got there, everyone else had already arrived. The house was bustling with talking and music, it pouring out through the open windows. I could smell something cooking, and whatever it was smelled amazing. As we walked through the front door we were met with a cacophony of greetings and cheers.

“I didn’t know you were coming!” Ellie practically screamed, rushing over to hug me. She hit me with force, almost knocking me and the biscuits over.

“Hey, hey, hey! Be careful with the lady handling the precious cargo!” Harlow told her. Ellie rolled her eyes, taking the basket out of my hand before going over and putting them on the kitchen island. I scanned the room and saw Joel in the kitchen cooking, at the counter Tommy was sitting next to a woman I hadn’t met before, and Ellie made her way back out to the porch. Harlow followed Ellie outside as I made my way into the kitchen.

On the stovetop Joel was cooking what looked like a country fried steak. My eyes grew wide with excitement. Joel glanced at me.

“What? Surprised you’re not the only one who can make stuff like this, miss professional?” he jeered, giving me another glance. I scoffed.

“You’re such a shit. I’m just excited to have this, that’s all,” I told him. I turned to Tommy and gave him a smile and a small wave hello.

“It’s nice to see you again, Violet,” he said, he nodded his head to motion me closer. “I want to introduce you to my fiancée Maria. Maria, this is Violet.”

Maria smiled, but flatly. I tried to not take it to heart, so I just moved on.

“It’s nice to meet you, Violet,” she said, her smile still not fully genuine.

“You, too.”

The rest of the evening went well for the most part. I spent most of the night giggling and joking with Ellie and Harlow, Ellie being practically attached to my hip. But something felt weird because Joel hadn’t touched me once. The most was when he was handing me my plate of food and our fingers brushed.

Maybe coming tonight wasn’t the best idea after all.

After dinner we all ended up on the porch, enjoying the warm summer evening air. I kept catching glances from Joel, and every time I got flashes from the day before. I wish I knew what was going on in his head.

As the evening progressed further, somehow it ended up with just Maria and I outside together. My heart beat rapidly in my chest, nervous to be alone with her. I could tell she wasn’t my biggest fan, but I couldn’t figure out why. We had just met. What could I have done?

“You know Violet, you’re not what I expected,” she said, keeping her eyes out on the horizon of trees.

“Oh?” I asked cautiously, “how is that?”

“Well, for one you’re a lot younger than I would have thought,” she said. Her words hit me like a knife, and I could feel heat rising in my chest.

“Why would you think that?” I questioned, knowing full well why. She turned to face me, her expression cold.

“I was expecting Joel to be caught up with a woman, not a girl,” she stated. My eyes narrowed at her.

“Excuse me?”

“Violet, you strike me as a nice enough person. You seem smart, funny, and obviously someone who is more than capable of taking care of herself at such a young age,” she started, “that it genuinely confuses me what you’re doing with a man like Joel.”

“Why does it matter to you?” I asked, my words like spitting fire, “What is it to you that I’m seeing someone older than I am?”

“Because it’s going to drag you down. Joel isn’t some young guy who can just go out on adventures with, have kids with, or even - what do you two talk about? You can’t have anything in common-”

I held a hand up to stop her from talking.

“Maria, I just need you to stop. You don’t know me. And obviously you don’t know Joel,” I told her. “And Joel is going to be your brother in law soon. How would he, or even Tommy, feel knowing you’re talking about Joel like this? Kindly Maria, fuck off.”

Without another word I made my way back into the house, my chest aching with anger. When I got inside I tried my best to shove all of that down, not wanting anyone knowing something was wrong.

“Violet! Settle a debate for us,” Ellie practically shouted at me once I was inside. “In the song, is the farmer’s dog named Bingo, or is the farmer’s name Bingo?”

A smile cracked on my lips, it defusing my rage a little.

“It’s definitely the dog. Why would he mention the dog if it wasn’t the dog’s name. He would have just said his name was Bingo.”

Ellie’s eyes lit up. “I TOLD YOU JOEL!”

Joel held his hands up in defeat. “I stand corrected.”

Soon after my talk with Maria’s, her and Tommy left. Thankfully. I felt like a weight had lifted off of my shoulders once I saw their truck drive away. I grabbed a beer from Joel’s fridge and headed back out to the porch to have a moment to collect myself.

I leaned against the railing and let out a heavy sigh, hot tears spilling over my cheeks. Maria’s word hit home more than I wanted to admit. Bringing up stuff I thought I had healed from, or thought that I had gotten over. I didn’t realize anyone was outside with me until I felt a familiar hand on my shoulder.

“Hey,” I heard in Joel’s gruff voice. I turned to see Joel standing behind me, a soft expression on his face.

“Are you okay?” he asked gently. I shook my head no, not wanting to to speak more and in turn cry more. Without another word Joel pulled me into an embrace and I broke down, my face nuzzling in his chest. I sighed a heavy sigh of relief, not realizing how badly I needed him to touch me until I was in his arms. He pet my hair and kissed the top of my head. My body just completely melted into him.

“I’m sorry,” I muttered out.

“No, no, you’re okay. Was it Maria?” he asked, his tone stern. I nodded against him. “Goddammit.”

I sniffed and pulled my head away to look up at him. “What?”

“I just- she keeps making comments to me about you, especially after the wedding and Tommy went home and told her about you. And how old you are. That’s why I didn’t personally invite you tonight and why I was kinda distant,” he told me. He had been trying to protect me from Maria. “I honestly never thought she’d have the gall to say anythin’ to your face. Once Harles takes Ellie home, I want you to tell me what she said, okay?”

I nodded up at him. He cracked a sweet smile at me. I felt him unwrap his arms from me and reach up to wipe the tears from my cheeks with the rough pads of his thumbs.

“Thank you,” I said softly. He cradled my face in his hands, grinning down at me.

Harlow and Ellie stayed for about an hour longer before they headed out. Ellie fell asleep on the couch, her head in my lap. I had been combing through her hair with my fingers. She snored softly, her body completely relaxing into the couch.

“I’ll get her,” Joel mumbled. He got up from his spot on his chair and came over to us on the couch. I watched as he leaned down and scooped up Ellie with ease. He gave me a small wink as he stood back up. My heart leapt a little.

“I’ll get the door,” I said, getting to my feet and rushing in front of them. I opened it and he passed through. Harlow came over and pulled me into a tight hug. When she was done, she held me by my shoulders at arm’s length.

“Are you okay?” she asked, scanning my face. I nodded.

“Yes, I’m okay.”

“You and Joel are okay-”

“Yes, Harlow. We’re okay,” I said reassuringly. She a gave me a smile before giving me another squeeze and left. I leaned against the doorframe and watched Harlow give Joel a hug. She swayed them back and forth for a moment before hopping into her car and driving away. I walked over to where Joel was standing and snaked my arm around his, leaning my cheek against his shoulder. We watched as Harlow’s car rounded the corner at disappear. With a squeeze from Joel’s hand headed back inside.

He closed the door behind us and I turned around to face him. He motioned with his head for me to follow him. I nodded, following him as we ascended the stairs up to his bedroom. I was confused, but followed anyway. When we got to the top, Joel kicked his shoes off. I titled my head quizically as he climbed onto his bed, laying down with his head propped up on a pillow. He patted the mattress next to him, laying his arm out for me.

I jokingly rolled my eyes as I hopped onto the bed, laying down next to him. He wrapped his arm around me and pulled me close. I snuggled into him, trying to get as close as possible. But nothing felt close enough. I wrapped my one of my arms around his sturdy torso and nuzzled my face into his pec.

“Okay now,” he started, wrapping his free arm around me as well, “what did Maria say?”

I let out a heavy sigh before telling him what she said, and my response in turn. He stayed silent other than a few hums of acknowledgement for my words. When I was done, I felt his chest began to rise and fall rapidly. He was pissed. I moved so that I was propping myself up on my elbow, finally getting a good view of his face.

His face was red and his jaw clenched, but there was something in his eyes that wasn’t anger - it was fear. I put a comforting hand on his chest.

“Joel, I don’t want you-”

“Don’t want me to what?”

“I-I don’t know. Be mad about this? This upset?” I said. My heart began to beat rapidly in my chest. He sighed, looking up and finally meeting my eyes. There it was again, fear.

“What are you afraid of, Joel?” I asked plainly. His eyes grew wide. He propped himself up so that he was face to face with me.

“How do you know I’m afraid of something?” he asked, his eyes deep brown eyes scanning my face.

“I don't know, I can just tell,” I said with a small shrug. He paused, scanning my face again, trying to get a read on me.

“Some of the things Maria said hit a little too close to home,” he said. My face quickly changed, my brow knitting together.

“What do you mean?” I asked. He sat the rest of the way up, leaning against the headboard. I also sat up, sitting with my legs criss crossed in front of him.

“I mean, she’s right in a sense. I can’t give you those things,” he stated, not making eye contact with me again.

“Like what?”

I heard him sniff, still not looking up at me. He didn’t say anything, just staying silent and looking at his lap. I got to my knees and knelt in front of him, reaching up to cradle his face in my hands. As I lifted his face to look at mine, tears fell down his cheeks.

“Like what?” I asked again, but gentler this time, my voice just a whisper. He closed his eyes and took in a deep breath before he spoke.

“Like a fun adventurous life,” he said, his voice getting more confident as he spoke, “and well, children.”

The word stung, and I could tell he knew. This wasn’t a conversation I wanted to have with him yet, but I guess I didn’t have a choice now.

We stared at each other for a beat. Neither of us wanted to be the first person to say something on the topic.

“I know about Sarah.”

Joel’s eyes got bigger at my statement.

“H-How?” he asked, searching my face for an answer.

“Harlow told me earlier today,” I mumbled out. Joel rubbed his face with his hands, hotly wiping away tears.

“So, you know about the accident?” he asked. I nodded with a hum.

“I-I don’t know what to say Joel,” I said, tears swelling behind my eyes.

He shook his head. “You don’t have to say anythin’. I mean, you were going to find out eventually. I just-I just don’t know how to bring it up to people. And I don’t really like to talk about it…”

I let out an uncomfortable laugh. “I mean, that’s understandable. I don’t love talking about how I can’t have children…”

Joel’s face went from sad to concern.

“Wait, what?”

“Um, yeah. I can’t have kids. I found out about three years ago,” I told him. His brow furrowed together more, my answer not what he was wanting.

“But - why? How?” he asked.

“Um, it wasn’t like a huge or traumatic thing. My menstrual cycle got weird like five years back, weirder than normal. I stopped having one regularly, only every couple of months. So I went to the doctor and they did ultrasounds and blood tests and CT scans and all that. They found that I had something wrong with the way my reproductive organs developed and its in a way that makes it so I can’t have kids. Like, even if I wanted to try and get pregnant, I couldn’t,” I told him, my eyes glossing over a little the more I spoke.

Joel reached out to take my hand in his, giving it a tight squeeze.

“Vi, that is traumatic. Your choice was taken away. I know what it’s like to have something taken away from you without you getting any say in the matter,” he said, giving me a half-hearted smile with tears in his eyes.

I felt like my heart was going to burst. I bit at my bottom lip, trying to contain whatever feelings were going on inside of me.

“Thank you,” I said softly. Joel reached forward and pulled me into his lap. I nuzzled my face into his neck as he enveloped me in his arms. We sat there in a comfortable silence for a bit and his hold on me never relaxed.

He held me tightly, and I could tell we both needed this. We needed someone to understand listen to and hear our traumas, that’s it. Not try to fix it, or feel sorry for the other person. Just to hold a place for each other’s baggage, taking the heavy load off of the other’s shoulder. Being vulnerable wasn’t something I was fond of, especially with someone like Joel.

“Joel?” I asked, my voice coming out in just a whimper.

“Hmm?”

“What happened with Sarah? And Lucas?” I asked as gently as I could. I heard him sigh.

“Um,” he started, his voice shaky, “we were headed to get a bite to eat after the girl’s had a soccer game, for my birthday. Everything was totally fine, until I drove through an intersection. Our light was green, the drunk fuck who hit us, did not. He hit the passenger side and flipped the car over. Thankfully Harlow got knocked out on impact, I’m so glad she didn’t have to see what I did.

“There was glass everywhere, blood. I won’t go into the details, but Sarah died on impact. Lucas tried to hold on, but he died on the way to the hospital. I still will never understand how Harlow and I made it out with a couple head injuries and broken bones.”

I looked up at him in awe. How someone could go through that, losing his best friend and his only child on his birthday no less, and still go on every day. I couldn’t imagine. He and Harlow were far stronger than I could have ever imagined.

I reached a hand up to Joel’s cheek, and he relaxed into my touch. He turned his head to look down at me, our eyes meeting. We held our gaze on each other for a moment, and before I knew it Joel’s lips were crashing down onto mine. At first, his mouth was just needy, but then it quickly turned heated. He began pulling me closer, but I stopped him. He rested his forehead against mine, both of us out of breath.

“Joel, as much as I want to do that more than anything-”

“Now is not the time, no I know,” he cut me off, finishing my sentence. I cradled his face in my hands, his face now masked with disappointment.

“I cannot wait to fuck you senseless, Joel,” I said in a matter of fact tone, “but right now after all of the emotions I’ve had over the last 24 hours, I want nothing more than for you to hold me until I fall asleep. Can you do that for me?”

A smile cracked in the corner of his mouth and he nodded.

“I can do that.”

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