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#and im really scared that i wouldnt be able to take it
traaanskimkitsuragi · 2 years
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should i get a tattoo this year
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silverislander · 4 months
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rereading a book i loved in high school to annotate a copy. remembering why it connected w me so much
#its the miseducation of cameron post btw#i read it literally 3 times in the space of 2mos almost back to back#i brought it on two trips- that was the year we went to austria and the year i went to national music camp#and like. yeah. yeah i guess that was why#smth abt that book just really cuts to the heart of what it was like for me growing up in the church#my church wasnt the wbc or anything ofc but like. they also werent/arent queer affirming and its hard to explain how it hurt me#bc everyone expects a story where someone sits me down and like. threatens to beat me if im gay or whatever#that didnt happen. its just that i figured out by osmosis from this environment that i was wrong and that i should be ashamed#and nobody ever challenged that assertion so it stuck for years afterwards#its like growing up in a house w mold in it youll never really know that its there until youre told but you know smth is hurting you#and by the time you realize what it is its gonna take fucking forever to remove#and thats how it is w cameron! she knows long before shes sent to the camp#i just keep coming back to how everyone who went to nationals w me came back talking abt this amazing spiritual experience they had#and how much it meant to them to be able to go#and all i was thinking was that i didnt make even 1 friend and everyone treated me like i was fucking diseased the entire time#the guys didnt want me around bc i was a girl and the girls didnt want me around bc i wasnt a girl to them#my roommate acted scared of me from day fucking one and i still dont really know why. wouldnt stay in the room w me#i would sit down somewhere in the common area and people physically turned away from me to have their own conversations#i think they knew. i wasnt out at camp ofc but im p sure they knew smth was up w me#levi.txt#idk. i dont have a Trauma to point to but i feel like calling the effects of what the church did to me religious trauma is appropriate#it fucked me up so so bad. i had to work through so much shit and im still not out of it#today im not ashamed of being queer but im still discovering new issues that living like that gave me all the time#ultimately. im ok rn dw just thinking a lot. its a great book im glad to reread it and really analyze it! its fun
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saintqueer · 1 year
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thotfool · 2 years
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Like my head is fucking spinning with rage Im straight up dizzy
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fairykazu · 5 months
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my doors always open ft. dan heng⋆˚☆˖°
cw: pinning, best friends
masterlist
although it is late at night, dan heng is aware of your antics of accidentally scaring yourself at night, scrolling through your apps at night, and then crawling into someone else’s room out of shame.
usually that someone is him.
it’s around the time you scrolled on tiktok for way too long, you knocked on his door like a stray cat begging for food, “dan heng?”
dan heng was already up, waiting for you, or studying the archives and updating the contents. “come in, name. you know that my door is always open for you.”
the door slid open as you trudged in with your blankets dragging on the floor. he adjusted his glasses as he asked, “what kind of video were you watching this time?”
flopping onto his bed, dragging your blankets with you. “some guy owning haunted dolls and he was speaking to them.” you said with a shiver. dan heng hid a laugh,
“fun?” he noticed from the corner of his eye, your face changed before replying,
“terrifying! i dont understand how stelle was able to handle them.”
dan heng rolled his eyes, rolling back his chair towards the bed, “im pretty sure they’re different creatures. one being a mythical being and the other possibly faked.”
you rolled yourself into a ball, “still scary either way!”
“okay, sure.” dan heng rolled back to his desk, placing his red glasses down. “show me the video. now i want to see how scary this being is.”
“but i dont wanna see it again!” despite your words, you opened the app again, favorited in the collection called “show dan heng.” though he wouldnt able ever see the name of the collection, he does feel special that you exclusively show him.
he walked to his bed, tucking you in with your and his own blankets just before sitting on the edge. the video was someone adopting a shipped order of dolls from one of his fans, saying that the fan didnt want the dolls anymore.
“the dolls seem not haunted but spirits are tethered to the doll.”
“so?”
“it was not their choice staying there. does that make you feel better?”
“not really, now i feel bad for them. also a little still scared of the dolls they live in.”
“that’s fair. now do you want to watch your favorite sitcom to get over it or sleep right now?”
“…hmmm.” you hummed, deciding a choice even though the both of you went through this routine before. “i choose-”
“let’s sleep. we can watch your favorite show tomorrow.”
“promise? you said that yesterday and we didnt get to watch it today.”
“yes, i promise.” dan heng said with a quiet snort. you nodded just before you drifted off to sleep.
bonus:
dan heng sneaked onto your phone just to watch the videos himself, laughing a little out of giddiness from seeing that he had a collection just for him.
clicking through the videos, he watched about ten of them, mumbling and taking notes.
“huh, seems kind of scary. i need someone to make a debunking channel.”
in the morning, dan heng kept his promise to watch the show with you as long you see this new and viral account on tiktok, it being a debunking story for videos you just saw.
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eclipse-rain · 6 months
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Jjk - Big Brother Yuji + Choso Headcanons;
☆☆☆
Warning: Mentions of attempted suicide in first part + manga spoilers obvi
Masterlist~
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☆☆☆
|Backstory|
•You and yuji are twins (sry i love them being twins soo much)
•you grew up together with him and your grandfather
•but the thing is, when dealing with jujutsu sorcerers being a twin is considered bad
•this ment you could see cursed spirits while yuji could not
•your grandfather tried to console you by saying they werent real and to try and ignore them for fear of people thinking you were crazy and trying to put you in a hospital
•you tried your best to think that way and you learned not to freak out in front of other people about what you were seeing
•but you were a kid and they looked scary, why were you the only one seeing these monsters?
•yuji was the main reason you were able to look past it, past them
•he was always in front of you so all you had to do was look towards him and then everything was alright
•his smile was always such a reassuring sight, it could put you at ease almost instantly, wash all your troubles away in the blink of an eye
•you really loved your older twin brother, and he loved you just as much
•it would have been good if things had stayed that way, but i guess then we wouldnt have this story
•there was a time where you couldnt take it anymore, the constantly being scared and looking over your shoulder, it was during a short period of time when yuji wasnt around
•you were nine years old by this point and in the bath, suddenly the bubbly water looked more reassuring than staying in a world full of monsters being the only one who could see them
•you let yourself sink into the warmth and the next thing you knew, yuji was above you, holding you in a fresh fluffy towel but instead of smiling like he always did, he was crying
•for the next year yuji and your grandfather had you sing everytime you bathed or showered for fear of it happening again
•but you had realised from that day on that if you had yuji in your life, wheather he was far away or right next to you, as long as he was alive you could push past what you saw and focus on him, you could stay alive too
•you were born together so you both had an unspoken promise that you would live together and when the time came, die together
•thats not the only thing that went wrong though
《Yeah im about to change the whole plot and spice it up real good, cue the trauma✨》
•when you were ten kenjaku came to retrieve one of you, either yuji or you, it didnt matter which
•your grandfather knew this would happen some time in the future as kenjaku made it known after you both were born
•but your grandfather kept it from both of you and raised you the same way, without difference, same clothes, same hair, same treatment so that he could try and feel less attachment when the time came to give one of you away
•what he would get in return would be the guaranteed safety of the other twin, not a hair on their head would be touched and they would have a normal life as a human unless they themself chose otherwise
•your grandfather had been stuck between a rock and a hardplace
•and thats how you got separated from your twin and your grandfather
•your grandfather didnt even know which one of you kenjaku took, he raised you both without any difference, including gender
•that didnt mean it didnt impact him any less though, he turned away from yuji, became more distant and contemplative of his life and yujis future
•he regretted and agonised over what happened every single day he lived until his death and made sure to make yuji promise not to end up alone at his own death bed
•yuji always kept you in mind, he never forgot a single thing about you, your hair, your eyes, your smell, the feeling of your small hand in his as he led you to your next class in school
•you were the first loss he faced in his life, your grandfather didnt have the heart to tell yuji where you had actually gone, not that he knew
•And kenjaku with his connections or powers god knows what, made it seem, to your school, all the people in the community, as if you had died and with what happened last year that didnt come as much of a shock
•otherwise people would start to ask questions if you suddenly werent around, like you had dissapeared into thin air, even though by all accounts your grandfather knew...you had
•he wasnt even allowed to know where you were going or what you would be doing, if you would have a normal life or whatever the alternative to that was
•Or even worse you were actually dead and kenjaku hadnt just made people believe that so yuji and him could live a normal peaceful life
•but in reality and unbeknownst to your grandfather kenjaku had plans for you, those which were never revealed to you and that you couldnt figure out because you could never for the life of you read the person who was suposed to be your so called "mother"
•of course you didnt know that kenjaku was technically your birth mother, you only figured it out years later, five years later to be exact, when you were fifteen, a little while before yuji also found out
•kenjaku didnt know which one of you he had taken either at the time but it didnt matter to him, it was all the same regardless
• he hadnt even planned on either of your births, with all the rest of the cursed wombs being failures he didnt have much hope left for either of you to work out in his master plan, just like the nine death painting brothers you both were far too normal (though his and your versions of normal didnt seem to align)
•but now you just seemed to give him more options, more paths he could take, more fun, a variable in his master plan if you will
•wheather you both would be a catalysts or not was up to you two but you yourself had made it your lifes mission so that your brother could continue living safely without the need of ever knowing that you werent crazy after all and what you saw was real
•let him be ignorant, let you carry all this burden by yourself, if he can be the light, your light and give you hope then you can be the darkness, carry his burdens, his share of darkness aswell as yours
•it would have probably stayed that way if he hadnt gotten himself entangmed with the king of curses after - of all the ones he could have eaten
~~~
|Choso|
•being one of kenjakus kids means your the only girl amongst all your siblings which definitely sucked a bit in your eyes
•like what do you mean you have ten siblings and not even a single one is a girl
•you'd have to put up with yuki as your big sister since that was the closest to the real thing you would get
•you werent there when yuji and nobara killed Eso and Kechizu and you didnt even know that they were your brothers yet anyway
•you first met choso when (of all times) kenjaku, mahito and he were playing a board game while waiting for the outcome of the fight between yuji, nobara, megumi, Eso and Kechizu
•well you didnt talk or even make eye contact but you both knew each other was there (you're probably in a badass looking cloke or something idk babe)
•kenjaku tried to coax you into playing with them, fed up you just ended up 'standing guard' so you could get some peace and quiet or so you thought because they (*ahem* mahito *ahem*) wouldnt stfu
•You were colder now that you were older and not showered in your big brothers light which he directed completely at you when you were younger
•you didnt say a word the whole time, you rarely did since you had been with kenjaku and his lackies
•you wondered everyday, since you had learned what cursed spirits were, why he still kept you alive and with him, you couldnt read him at all and it gave you a horrible pit in your stomach
•of course how were you to even guess what really was your realtion to him, even if cursed spirits and jujutsu sorcerers were real kenjaku technically being your mother still seemed a bit far fetch when you first learned about it
•as you listened to their conversation you noted that a person called itadori yuji was one of the jujutsu sorcerers fighting against chosos younger brothers along with a girl named kugisaki nobara
•you had come here now for this exact reason, (after learning yuji was now a jujutsu sorcerer) just in case something happened you would protect your brother, even if you didnt see him in person, even if you did and he didnt remember you, or recognise you
•after they split off to see who could find him first so did you, you had to find him before they did
•you didnt ... (well done)
•choso and yuji still fought and he almost killed yuji successfully but for some reason when you found choso he was alone, no yuji in sight and he was huddled in a ball on the ground looking like he was having a mental breakdown (whatever that was about)
•though when you questioned him about if he found yuji yet or not he suddenly got wierdly defensive, you decided you werent gonna try and reason with a cursed spirit who was obviously crazed since he was working with kenjaku (even if he was doing it for family which was the exact same reason as you had for doing the same thing)
•kenjaku ; the man who basically kidnapped you from your home five years ago for god knows what reason, telling you that you were special since you could see cursed spirits
•the man who made you feel special and useful and like you had a purpose in life, the man that put you on a pedestal above all those who couldnt see cursed spirits like you could
•his manipulative methods could have worked on your young mind, they had somewhat, but never fully because of one key thing
•this was because you always remembered yuji, your kind older brother who couldnt see cursed spirits, unlike you, but just the same as the people (humans) who would call you wierd or crazy for being able to
•but he wasnt one of those people, by all accounts in your mind and heart, to this day you still believe he is the kindest person in the whole world and it was because of this that you never saw yourself above non-sorcorers because your precious big brother was one of those people
•And it should have stayed that way
•but it didnt
•and you cant help but blame yourself everyday for it (even tho its literally not ur fault babes chill out a bit)
•for not being more prepaired, for not being more aware, for not keeping better tabs on your brother for fear kenjaku might break his promise to your grandfather now that he was dead
•you had asked kenjaku to tell you about what yuji was up to after you left when you were small
•as you got older you didnt want kenjaku being near yuji and his information on him could be unreliable, just lies he fed to you
•so you stopped asking to know about yuji and for a while stayed away completely before you started keeping your own tabs on him when you were older and more able, stronger
•you had learned alot in your time with kenjaku and his lackies, even if it was unwillingly and even if it was perhaps ruining you, or who you used to be
•the small, kind and scared girl was no more, instead a shell of that girl remained, who would only come out of hiding when she was face to face with her brother again finally
•instead now you were cold and unspeaking, as you were unwavering in the face of the same monsters you once ran from
•you had only found out that your grandfather had even died after you finally dug into what yujis life was like after you got older
•you also learned yuji had eaten a curse and enrolled in Jujutsu high school, now under so called "protection" by some of the most fearsome jujutsu sorcorers who ever lived
•*back to the present ig* both you and choso went looking for yuji again, since you had no luck finding him by yourself last time you chose to stick with choso this time as he found him first last time
•Choso however was less than pleased at having you stick to him, as he now for some reason seemed even more determined to find Yuji if that was even possible
•choso can sense the transformations of his younger brothers through their blood connections no matter how far away they are
•choso could see yuji in his fake memory because yuji was going through the final transformation, which is death
•choso during his mental breakdown had figured out yuji was his youngest brother, but he also found out something else
•see yuji was a twin and that ment he shared his soul with his other half, his own twin, you
•that ment if he died a piece of the other twin would die along with him
•this ment he could also see yujis twin there too, you
•though since he wasnt dealing with your soul (death/transformation) directly, but just a link between you and yujis as twins, you were very blurry and he couldnt properly make out your face in his paniced state of mind
•so he didnt recognise you as the person who kenjaku brought along (you could have had ur face covered by like a hood or mask when with kenjaku as well)
•he could see the other cursed wombs properly only because they were all already dead
•choso and you end up getting confronted by a curse and with him now being even more hell bent on finding yuji he leaves you to deal with it (he ran without saying a word to you, leaving you by yourself, he did not care lmao, he's off to protect his new baby bro)(tbf he didnt no you were his sister yet and feels bad about it in the future)
•so you two got separated
(Skipping to when he finds out cuz im lazy)
•choso when he finds out he also has a younger sister, which is you, would be very shocked at first, and a little unbelieveing of it, since all the other cursed wombs had been male
•honestly he didnt think it was even possible for them to be female at this point (not that it was a big deal) 1/11 those are wierd odds tho
•there had to be a reason for this, perhaps thats why kenjaku/noritoshi kamo was so interested in you (so maybe it was a big deal?? He wasnt so sure but he hoped that wasnt the case, kenjaku had seemed pretty interested in yuji also and he wasnt female)
•he didnt know if he should treat you any differently than he did for his brothers for a while when he first found out
•he was the same amount of pushy about wanting you to call him big brother as he was with yuji though, possibly even more so
•he has a little sister now, thats crazy, he wants to hear what being called big brother is like coming from you
•when you finally called him big brother the first time he started bawling like a baby
•after the shibuya incident the three of you are all living normal human lives together after everything was over
•yuji cooking in the kitchen like he had done so many times for you before in your childhood, choso and you both sat at oposite ends of the kitchen table
•A warm light from the window shone across it, signaling the first signs of it setting and nights approach, it would feel warm and cozy, the atmosphere light hearted and safe
•choso would be taking in the sight of it all, slightly melancholic, thinking of how your other brothers never got to experience this
•you would be reading a book, possibly even studying now that your back at school, a hot cup of steaming tea a little to your right, a basket of fruits in the center, a cat lay on your lap barely visible, only so by an ear twitch or the slight swish of a fluffy tail
•butterflys landed on the plants by the back door, the one that lead to the back gardens, where cherry blossom flowers bloomed on the trees in spring but in autumn they were bare and the air was cold and crisp
•farther down a trail of cherry blossom trees, the chickens roamed and slept inside their coops snuggled up to one another for warmth, you would go down to collect the eggs tomorrow morning as you had done this morning, those ones now being used by yuji prepairing omurice for your evening meal
•yuji and you were happy once again and choso could safely say he was the most happy now than he had ever been since he had been born, he just wished his brothers could have felt this way too
•the three of you had buried the remaining cursed wombs and mementos of Eso and Kechizu in the back garden next to your grandfathers grave
•you three visited them everyday and told them about everything that happened, from exciting things to those that were rather boring or simple
•it was a nice way to live
☆☆☆
Im backkk bitchesss📣, dont get ur hopes up tho, im here for a good time not a long time sry
I love writing nonsense about my silly little scenarios✊
Idk how i haven't written for jjk yet because its literally one of my favorite anime/mangas rn (I've also been waiting for choso to get animated and get more attention since i first saw his fine ass in the manga)
If there are plot holes pretend your ✨blind✨👩‍🦯
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aziraphales-library · 23 days
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Lost Fic #180
1. Good morrow dearest Mods Firstly thank you for all the good work that you all do for the fandom because this was really impressive when i first stumbled upon it and easy to sieve through. Really Wowwww I'm not much of a fanfic reader myself, but there was the monologue that stuck with me from a tiktok edit and I really want to find which fanfiction was it from (since i couldn't find the edit anymore :"") (Im regurgitating whatever i can remember so please bare with me, i hope it wouldnt be so painful.) It was from the POV of God but the narrator refers to God as "She". She talks about making Crowley and Aziraphale. Being the first to break Crowley's heart. And then she invents Creativity for Crowley because She owes him that at least. She gives Aziraphale a sword but then will give it away on his own will. She did not give Aziraphale a heart but he invented it himself. From what I remember there was no dialogue in this part of the piece. (But I wouldn't know for sure since I've never read it before...) I tried tagging From POV of God Good Omens in AO3, but I couldn't find it either If it happens to not have existed, that's alright, however are there some fanfictions that are similar to this? With the kind of emo yet touching written by God feel narration about the husbands with not much much dialogue, like as if She was just watching from above. The kind of outsider feel with the insider knowledge AHAHAHA I'm not sure how to describe it. Emotionally like bittersweet tea with a dash of honey. Thank you, and I wish you lovely days to come mods <3 - @whiskedawaybythewind
2. I'm sorry, but I'm looking for a Fic it was a Muriel & Crowley, and there was this scene where Crowley finds out that Aziraphale regrets his decision because a Pen that he (Aziraphale) stole, and send with muriel so he can understand the message. I don't remember much more, :( - anon
3. Hi! I’m looking for a relatively new fic I read a while back. It featured Azi and Crowley living in the South Downs and Crowley is snatched while out grocery shopping by a gang of mafia guys, and they ransom him to Azi, who shows up and calmly scares the shit out of them by telling them he’s “The Bookseller.” I can’t find it to save my life and I want to reread it! - @doodlegirll
4. Hello dears! First off, thank you so much for all the work you do for the fandom. I was wondering if you could help me find a fic. Aziraphale is discorporated during WW1 and Crowley was sleeping and didn't know. During the church scene in 1941, when Crowley comes aziraphale has a flashback and is barely able to save them. They talk about it after. Thanks again! - @candysunset27
5. Hi!! I’ve been going through this account for a while and it’s been so so great finding tons of fics with all the tropes I love!! There’s this one fic I saw that I can’t remember and I was really hoping you could help me find it! From what I do remember in the fic, Aziraphale is suicidal, and keeps on discorporating himself. If it’s too much of an ask I totally understand- Take all the time you need !!! 💖💖💖💖💖 - anon
If you know any of these fics please include the number in your reply! Thank you :)
- Mod D
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jisvno · 1 year
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tokyo revengers characters when they see you cry and they comfort you
ft; mikey, kazutora, rindou
genre; partly angst?? with very comfort fluff
tw; mention of abusive parents (kazu), period one (is tw needed? idk but in rindou part)
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♡ manjiro 'mikey' sano
it was another hard day. school, people, emotions, everything was overwhelming you today. you thought that at least you would meet your boyfriend in the afternoon, but he already had plans with ken, so you were left alone. comfort series and sweets did nothing good, but they caused you to get a mental breakdown. you started to cry, overloaded with the day and the lack of any happiness today. manjiro finished meeting with the draken, and he promised you that you would meet today, so he came to your place. he knocked on your door a few times but you wouldnt open it for him, being too tearful, so manjiros got a bit confused and he used the spare key you once gave him and went inside. he immediately heard the sound of crying coming from your room, and after a while he appeared there, seeing you all tearful, tears streaming down your face, red cheeks and shaking body. He immediately came over, sitting next to you and lightly stroking your back with his hand. 'what happened, honey?' he whispered, wrapping his arm lightly around your waist and hugging you. 'tell me, ill listen and try to help you..' he said softly, all the while stroking your back and shoulders. you finally calmed down enough to tell him about what a hard and overwhelming day you've had. manjiro listened to you the whole time, wondering how he could help you. when you finished speaking, he cupped your cheeks and wiped away the tears with his thumbs, looking into your eyes. 'i love you so much, you know? You are really strong and i believe that youll be able to overcome this and tomorrow will be better. remember, im here for you' he said, leaning back slightly and laying on the bed on his back, pulling you in and hugging you tightly. you felt his body heat, the smell of his perfume and just closeness and comfort, so after a while you stopped crying completely. manjiro said sweet things to you all the time, complimented you and talked about how much he loves you and how important you are to him. he decided to stay here for the night so you can rest in his arms. he lightly stroked your hair, which made you feel safe and after a tiring day you fall asleep in the arms of your most wonderful boyfriend
♡ kazutora hanemiya
you were just at school, coming out of your math class. you couldnt believe that despite studying for so long, you got another F. you were disappointed in yourself, fact, but the most stressed thing was what your parents would do after discovering your another bad grade. they were strict and always yelled at you for bad grades, they also hit you sometimes, you were afraid of them and thats why you spent so much time studying, which didnt always work. you were stressed that once again they could raise a hand on you for another F, so tears came to your eyes. you saw kazutora, who was walking towards you with a smile, wanting to show you something after the end of the lesson. but you were in bad shape now, so you ran away from him, ran upstairs to an empty auditorium, where you sat in the corner of the room and cried. you curled up, burying your head in your knees and crying silently, stressed out by the grades. kazutora ran after you, and when he saw you, his heart broke. he sat next to you, he didnt touch you, just looked at you. 'hey, what.. what happened?' he said quietly so as not to scare you. all you could whisper was that you got another F. kazutora knew what your parents were like, you told him that, and he saw how stressed and scared you were. he didnt quite know what to do, but he got up, taking your hand and gently pulling it to get you up. he walked out of school with you and put you on his bike, he sat in front of you and off you went. after a while you and him came to an empty place by the river, full of grass and flowers, you could see most of the city from here, it was really quiet and peaceful here. kazutora got off the bike, giving you his hand, and you sat down on the grass together. still not saying anything, he started picking the flowers, making a wreath out of them, and put it on your head, smiling slightly at the sight. 'you look beautiful, darling' he said, placing his hand on your cheek and stroking it with his thumb. 'i cant help people, but remember that im always here, ill always find time for you to sit with you and take your mind off the bad' he said softly, looking into your eyes. you were thankful to him for not continuing the topic. you two sat on the grass for a while, and then he took you on a bike ride around the city, and finally he took you to his house, where he made you stay the night, where you watched cartoons and laughed all night. you were very happy that you have such a great boyfriend who will always help you take your mind off the bad things
♡ rindou haitani
you were just at your boyfriends house when you felt you had to go to the bathroom. you just got your period, so you use your pad and went back to his room. rindou was sitting at his desk, looking on the computer for something he wanted to show you, and you sat on the bed. suddenly you felt very painful cramps, that you lay down, slightly cringing from the pain. it was so strong that after a while tears flowed from your eyes and you cried silently, unable to bear the pain. when rindou heard your cry, he immediately turned to look at you. 'baby, why are you crying?' he asked softly, and when you told him that you had just gotten your period and were having terrible cramps, he got up, took some painkillers from the cupboard and gave you along with water, then lay down next to you, hugging you tight from behind and stroking your belly with his warm hands. it helped you so much, just his warmness and closeness. he started telling you a story about another 'dumb' thing that ran did, and how stupid he is, because we all know that rins favourite thing to do is teasing ran. after a while the medicine kicked in and you felt a little better and rindou kissed your hair. 'i dont like it when you cry, it makes you look ugly. you look prettier when you smile or laugh,' he said, and immediately had an idea of ​​how to make you feel better. yes, you spent the rest of the evening teasing and arguing with poor ran, who tried to defend himself, but it was 2vs1 battle so he was loosing, which of course kept a smile on your face, you were really grateful to your boyfriend for being there for you and rindou was pleased with himself that his favorite activity gives you a lot of pleasure too
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~ vani's note
first writing here! im not very proud of it, but i guess its not that bad, hope that youll like it! you can request your things, and please tell me if something was bad or just tell me your thought about it!
see you next time!
~vani ♡
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baby-xemnas · 5 months
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i love captains-first mates dynamics so much because they are so different and luzo NOT being childhood friends to lovers and instead being love at first sight/only cremate luffy sought out/all that instead of 2 different kinds of growth together that kidkiller and lawbepo had is really so fun
luzo are not a slow burn they are an explosion, luffy waits for nothing, he isnt scared to lose this new and precious friendship he found. idk if theres a fic but there should be where luzo first time is post mihawk. luffy getting a clear confirmation that zoro is his and since he is His why wouldnt he tear into him. yes grave injury may be a turn off but seeing a weakened and vulnerable zoro makes luffy insane (hes alive that placated some of his protective instincts, his worry is settling down) he hates that zoro is hurt but his weak voice makes him hard and zoros proclamation of loyalty is vivid in luffy's mind. that's his right there he doesnt want to wait ..they can be careful right it's fine (zoro is crazy enough to go along you know this)
the way the power balance is so different where luzo are most equal and lawbepo is the least lol
personally i love thinking that out of aaaaalll of them killer is the most mature and savvy when it comes to relationships (because while law got more seriousness in him than the remaining five combined - he is very able to hurt bepo) killer got his cute level headed moments i adore. i love that he can hold kid on a short leash and make him think it was his idea But also just allow kid to do whatever because he adores him
⬆️ being true for all vices but in different ways. killer is indulgence, idk if im overfocusing on their age gap but imo killer somewhat still feels like taking care of kid as a younger brother so that "sure babe" is laced with care, adoration, acute awareness that he is letting a wild horse run free and it will surely break something and hurt itself and "i have a firm hand on your arm so you dont trip, i love you"
bepo sees law as godlike of course captain can do whatever, his word is absolute and he is never wrong. "you are the best thing around and the best thing in my life i love you"
zoro is so hard when luffy is wilding out it stops his brain function. "i will lose all my limbs for you i love you"
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kijosakka · 3 months
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Thoughts. okay so the total drama drama drama drama island special is interesting mainly bc of team e-scope but im going to take a moment here to ramble about his dynamic with other people here,,
(oh and i didn't have anywhere really to slot it into the other post or segue into it here but dodgebrawl as a Moment demonstrates how [this AU] noah can play the social game, just in a very very different way than how it's normally seen.
he knows what he's doing is going to bother his team and incentivize them to vote, i'd say in this au he even plays up the cockiness and makes veiled personal slights against specific people
(mainly those who would be annoyed enough to vote him off, see: heather, justin, leshawna, cody/trent to some extent if he said smth about gwen? < and gwen herself in that scenario. and to another extent beth, since hes playing up his outright mean traits, which would make lindsay vote with her. i dont think he would do anything specific to/with owen or izzy, since he may see izzy as too volatile and owen too genuine)
in the opposite way of whats expected, sure, but it is a social play. he can pick apart what these people are and what they show and push at it to achieve his own ends (and maybe its even some sort of way for him to regain control in this fundamentally uncontrollable situation he's found himself in; he can be the punishment in foucalt's imagining, to a much smaller degree))
so his teammates,,, do not like him tbh. his flagrant display during dodgeball and everyone being pissed at him after the fact is true in this AU, just coming with different motivations. even after the fact when the frustration of everyone fizzles out, hes still majorly offputting because of his detachedness, and deliberately makes his shown traits very unpalatable to experience in person combined with that.
the only two exceptions are izzy and owen respectively: owens mostly coming from a place of genuineness and im going to say while he wouldnt be able to verbalize it, in some manner owen would clock noahs behavior as a defense mechanism. maybe in the sense of 'hes just scared to open up to people!!' or something similar, but he definitely has a lot more faith that noah really isnt that cold and flat.
[*]izzy feels much the same -- except maybe it comes off more to her as strategic. izzy can act, and might recognize that in noah. if you wanted to you could write this in as to why she was eager to swap teams in the first episode, but it wouldnt change that he does get eliminated and thats all she sees of him until the special -- which, her intrigue in his lacking and the fact that it apparently wasnt strategic to get him further in the game, could help explain why she picks him in the team-up.
[*i have soooo much to say about izzy in this au actually. but ill save it for a diff post]
and speaking of the team-up: team e-scope!!!! :0
my au my rules eva and izzy became really good friends on the playa; izzy isn't afraid of eva (and curbing her anger before it reaches a boiling point) and eva is physically adept enough to restrain izzy from Shenanigans that might be a little Much. but eva doesnt really?? know anything about noah?? but izzy insists on teaming with him for the special (and unbeknownst to her noah wasnt even planning to participate initially) so he must be some level of Not Too Bad if izzy wants anything to do with him that doesnt seem to be related to tormenting the guy
and she thinks hes Fine. apathetic and detached and unpalatable (but then again, everyone in their little trio really is to some degree), but can kind of understand izzys intrigue: hes still A Guy, hes just hidden behind 20 layers of non-substance that are so offputting from the first meeting it makes people steer clear of him.
now with tddddi comes two other pertinent details: the justin line, and the Thing With Duncan.
i personally thing noahs 'he's the anti-me' line is really funny in the context of canon but if you squint it kinda works here? wherein justin is non-speaking yet flaunts himself to be the center of attention and clearly shows intent and capacity to scheme (underdeveloped or no, see: awakeathon), whereas noah speaks a lot yet lets himself fade into the background, showing vague hints of the capacity to scheme but no intention or palpable ambition behind it.
^ am i reaching? maybe. the other option here is noah somehow has seen him in-person before on a modeling or red carpet kind of gig and dislikes him on principle because of it/its a jab at it (smth smth they are both opposite ends of the same industry? justin is the face of it in a manner where noah stays behind the scenes and out of sight)
and the thing with duncan,, hear me out here okay noah does his whole song and dance, goes up to him and patronizes him, and duncan retaliates. however, he curses like a sailor and in noah's head has ruined the footage, therefore instead of further retaliating and potentially invoking actual physical harm he just. doesnt react. at all. duncan looks up at him and hes just dead-eyed staring down at him -- and then he leaves.
^ the scene has been ruined, and everyone else is doing so much that theres no reason to play it up any more. duncan and him arent plot important like how heather and lindsay were, theres no reason for the crew to painstakingly edit his swearing out. they just wont let it reach the final cut. duncan is understandably very confused by this, but at that point noah was already gone to find eva and izzy again (< this is when the cast having a running bet that noahs and android becomes Not a Joke)
but life goes on!!! and in the worlds worst comedy of errors (for noah), izzy ends up dragging him along into the lake, thereby leaving him as a confirmed member of the next season.
^ noah is so angry at this. popping blood vessels. he argues with chris endlessly, straight frothing at the mouth at only having two days of real reprieve before he has to deal with the Same Shit again. and chris gets this, to some degree, but also knows that if theres no explanation for noahs non-appearance to hand the producers, theyll be pissed (since all things considered, noahs pretty damn popular among the fans)
luckily for him, courtney just filed a lawsuit against the show!! and since chris is busy running said show, the producers do not want to deal with it and are willing to hand off the case to anyone else -- hence, chris officially signs noah on as his PA, and noah takes over the court settlements and whatnot.
< though i do imagine the producers would see it as a 'get out of the show' scheme, and thereby push way harder for his involvement in WT as a result
but noah does get a break!!! for now, at least.
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txtistheloml · 6 months
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hi hehe i just feel like attacking everyone who i can tn.. if you’re open for anons can i be 💌 >.< (someone i follow recommended ur blog and your writing is actually DELECTABLE STOP)
anyways.. bring best friends with tyun who offers to take your v card after he makes fun of you for staring at his muscles (do we blame reader? NO) … idk it’d play out something like this hold on
just him being so rough and soft at the same time, letting you tenderly kiss down his chest and abs, laughing softly at the way you’re still in awe of how your best friend is actually so built.. and when you notice him getting all worked up along with you, you ask if, and “only because i trust you so much, tyun..” he could take your virginity, and he accepts gladly, laying you down on the bed and pulling your waistband down, and just fingering you but like in a soft way.. like in a way that won’t scare you but will just hit everything that you’ll need.. you’re just so glad you trusted him and only him <3
sigh best friend taehyun will kill me
hjkeqbdskj?!($%%?>($% oh my... the way i dont even have anyth to add on... YOU COULD BE A WRITER NONNIE OMG ahem anyways is it really obvious im fangirling rn...
we all love bsf!tyun dont we... tyun's muscles r so yummy who wouldnt stare at them!!! n to be able to kiss THE taehyun's chest n abs n biceps oh the dream... when he offers to take ur v card menrfhkjdbsa 😖 im broken.
lets not even talk about my writing im in love with YOUR writing 😭
ofc im open for anons HEHEHEHE welcome 💌 nonnie! i look forward to fangirling even more over your writing soon hehe~~
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kichikichiko · 1 year
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Not in my eyes
Self indulgent writing, not proofread, made this in 30 minutes, Im tired.
Wanderer x fem reader, comfort, fluff, called wanderer Kuni, not proofreads, soft wanderer
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♡♡♡♡
Its late, the moon is shining brightly
You were standing in front of your house, frozen and looking at the doorknob
You took a deep breath and unlocked the door, you knew Wanderer would be home and with how youre feeling at the moment, you really didnt wanna worry him.
"Kuni! Im home!" You said, taking off your shoes and placing your duffle bag on the floor and walking to the living room, smiling a bit when you saw him sitting on the couch reading a book.
"Hey you" he replied half heartedly, focused on his book. "How was it?" He continued, finally facing you with his signature resting bitch face, only... softer.
You froze in place for a while, before quickly responding "It was great, just tiring. You know, the usual" you nodded,
"Reading a book Kuni? How amusing!" You peeked from beside his face, resting your hands on the head of the sofa. You liked teasing him, and truly, you wanted to shift the conversation away from how youre doing.
"Lesser lord Kusanali kept on bugging me to try and read a book. To make her stop babbling on about everytime we meet, I'll do it just this once." He scoffed before fixing his eyes on the book he was reading. "At least she got me a mildly interesting book."
You giggled softly and read one of the pages to get a drift of the plot, smiling softly
Wanderer glanced at you, and noticed how your smile didnt reach your eyes. One usually wouldnt be able to tell the differences, as youre always smiling. But he can. He always knows.
"Youre not okay." He stated, finally facing you, his brows furrowed.
Your eyes widen and looked at him.
"What do you mean?" Scoffing, as if you were offended. But you werent, you were scared he saw right through you
And he did.
"Youre acting weird. Whats wrong? What happened?"
"Kuni its nothing seriously. Im just tired, you know what? Im gonna go take a shower I stink anyway-" you frowned and started to walk away, avoiding the convo from escalating.
"(Name)" he said sternly making you stop walking, your back facing him
Silence ensued before you took a deep breath and looked at him, smiling. That damn fake smile always making him unsettled and worried for you "Im fine love. I'm going to take a shower. It was a long day training today."
He was about to retaliate but you beat him to it by walking to the bathroom.
He was gonna ask you later. Wanderer promised himself.
By the time you finished showering wanderer was already in the bedroom waiting for you.
You knew if you walked out he'd come complaining. Sighing in defeat, you walked to your shared bed and went to lay down.
Befire you could, wanderer held your shoulder gently to stop you.
He hesitated to start talking but got the courage after a while.
"(Name)... please tell me whats wrong. I want to help you.. please..?" He started, being gentle as possible as to not make you scared or alarmed.
You stared at him and teard swelled up in your eyes.
You cant hide it no longer.
As soon as he saw tears in your eyes, he pulled you in for a hug and sat in silence.
Whether or not you wanted to talk it was your choice and whichever choice you decided to take he will support it no matter what.
"I... its just... im.." you started, pausing after every word. Mainly because if you started pouring out on how you feel you'd start bawling your eyes out and on the other hand it's because you don't know how to express your own emotions as you've been suppressing it for all these years it's hard to be able to figure out how you truly feel.
"I felt uh.. like.. uhm.. useless? Weak? I dunno. Im just." Another pause
"Coach asked me "oh youre not back yet are you?"
I was confused because I was there. Then I realised.. he was talking about old me. The me who was trying to do her best when sparring. The kne who was burnt out but not on the verge if breaking...."
"It just got me thinking i suppose. Im not good at what I do. And either way... I hate what I do. But I cant quit." You chuckled, although it wasnt a genuine one, more like a tired and defeated one.
Want to listen to every single word you said before kissing your forehead gently and reply to what you said in a hushed manner. "Dont listen to them. He shouldnt have said a thing. If I could punt him I would, but it's late now" (and I wouldnt get the joy of beating him up if hes asleeo and unable to scream fir help) he didnt add that last part as that could have made you feel worse.
"Its hard.... and Im still useless.. and weak. I cant seem to be able to gain back my strength at all" you said as you closed your eyes and laid your head in his chest.
Wanderer wasn't the best with comforting people but for you he would try if he had to go fight Celestia themselves to be able to make you smile once again then he would he would go above and beyond to see you smile and be happy forever. But for now he knew that simple words of reassurance would help
"Youre not weak and youre not useless
Not in my eyes."
♡♡♡♡
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b0rderbunny · 4 months
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☼MISSING YOU☼
A/N: i know i just disappeared but I'm back I've just been really busy and i've been helping my sister with the writing part of her comic but i thought id come back with some angst/no comfort. after this ill post some fluff promise!
Anyways here's a bandaid to help with the wounds this'll inflict.
(:̲̅:̲̅:[̲̅:★:]̲̅:̲̅:̲̅:̲̅ )
Fiance Tanjiro X Gender Neutral Reader
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"My life is incomplete,
its missing you" -missing you (btob)
it was a beautiful day when he met you, it was sunny and a rainstorm had just passed the day before leaving a clear sky. it was nearing the end of october and winter was right around the corner maki9ng this the perfect day to sell charcoal before it got to cold.
tanjiro hiked down the mountain with his basket filled to the brim with charcoal ready to be sold. he was busy trying not to trip when heading down the creek until a overwhelming sweet scent entered his nose and he felt himself being toppled over into the water.
"oh crap i'm sososorry!" you said standing from the deep water to offer him a hand.
"are you hurt?" you asked as he just stared up at you in a daze.
to tanjiro it felt like a angel had fallen out of the sky rather than a clumsy teen who got lost in a forest, got scared, and accidentaly ran into a poor helpless boy.
"uh, are you good?" you asked again as he realized he was staring and snapped out of it. "i apologize i not hurt, thank you!" he said as he took your hand to stand. "don't apologize this is 100% my fault, i should've been watching where i was going" you said bowing at a perfect 50 degree angle as he sweat dropped.
"really its fine im not hurt at all" he said letting out a reassuring laugh as the tips of your ears turned red. "if there's anything i can do to apologize please let me know!" you yelled in embarrassment your entire face red.
"then can you tell me your name?" he asked offering his hand.
"huh? thats it? youre not gonna sell me to the cartel or anything right" you said exclaiming with your hands as he let out a laugh. "no i wouldnt" he said giving you a bright beaming smile.
"okay! ____ ______, im pleased to meet you!" you said taking his hand in yours. "tanjiro kamado, its nice to meet you too" he said a small blush spreading to his cheeks.
from that day forward a relationship like no other had blossomed.
tanjiro couldn't explain it but every time he was around you he got this fuzzy feeling in his stomach, he felt as if he was in complete and utter safety around you.
from the way you smiled, to the way you joked. he loved everything, he loved how your ears turned red when you were embarrassed. or how when you were angry you would turn a light shade of pink, the jokes you told.
he couldn't understand most of them but the way you would mutter them again to yourself and laugh had him smiling in pure joy.
he almost felt free around you.
sure he loved his family, but sometimes the pressure of being the oldest and breadwinner really put a lot on his shoulders. yet up until this point, he couldn't do much.
but when you came into his life you would pat him on the head, tell him good job when he completed something, always asking him how his day was going. tanjiro was so used to just bottling everything down that when he had someone who was constantly think of him, and only him he began to cry.
"tan tan, i don't know you get this alot but im really proud of you" you said as you played with his hair as you two sat on a tree trunk on the edge of the creek you two first met.
you continued even as you felt his shoulders stiffen a bit. "the way you're always there for your siblings and how you're always so kind is something i don't think i'd be able to do." you giggled. "sometimes i wonder if people ever let you know how much you mean to them, so i'm letting you know right now" you smiled as you wrapped your arms around his waist and placed your chin on his shoulder.
your eyes softened as the small tears trailed down his cheeks as you brought a hand to wipe them away.
"tanjiro kamado thank you for being such a bright star in this cruel world"
that was the night he confessed, where he told you how much he loved you, and to his shock, you loved him too.
the two of you were official, he had spent a small fortune on finding you the perfect ring, the best ring. and that's what he confessed with.
and finally it was the day for you to meet his family.
he had told you stories. on how takeo would get angry when he wasn't included in things. how shigeru and hanako would get into fights but forget about them within a minute. how rokuta was just now taking his first few steps and how his speech was increasing. and how nezuko was always helping out but also being a sense of comfort to all. and how even tho she was all alone his mother took care of most of the household even while sick.
from everything you had heard his family was absolutely lovely. and you hoped they would find you the same way.
and luckily, they adored you.
as soon as you walked through the door shigeru and hanako ran up to you and grabbed you by the legs excitedly asking if you were the person tanjiro was going to marry.
the entire day had gone by smoothly up until dinner time.
you sat next to tanjiro with baby rokuta in your lap after he refused to be let go, he weirdly grew fond of you quickly; not that you were complaining he was absolutely adorable. his mother was at your other side and nezuko, takeo, shigeru, and hanako where infront of you four.
"so ____" kie called out causing you to look up from baby rokuta who was babbling words you were trying to understand. "yes okasan?" you asked as she turned to face you. "do you like kids?" she asked with a smile as rokuta continued to play with your un occupied hand.
"uh huh! in the village i was from before i came here i helped out at a nursery so i gained a bit of experience in caring and bonding with children" you said as baby rokuta looked up to you with a innocent baby look before breaking out into a fit of giggles.
a chorus of 'aww's went around the room as the baby happily babbled away.
"i hope you and tanjiro give me some grandbabies soon seeing as this one is already growing to fast" kei said out loud causing a angry red blush to spread to both you and tanjiros cheeks as both kei and nezuko laughed leaving the other two children confused.
"m-mom!" tanjiro stuttered the blush deepening as she continued laughing.
oh such happy memories.
sadly, you and tanjiro wouldn't be able to make more.
that night you had stayed over and were going to leave 3 days from then, sadly that would never happen.
the day after returning home from selling charcoal tanjiro sped up at the smell of blood.
the smell of blood, coming from his home.
a massacre had happened.
kei and hanako laid against the door frame to the kitchen eyes closed, pale faces covered in blood.
shigeru and takeo lying motionless on the floor eyes stuck open in terror. and in the entrance door frame layed nezuko, rokuta, and you.
all presumably dead.
the only one who lived was nezuko, yet his sister became a demon. the very thing that had killed his family and the love of his life.
"Muzan Kibutsuji! No matter where you go, you're not getting away! I'll follow you to the ends of Hell, and I swear I'll slice your head with my blade! I'll never forgive you no matter what!"
and he never will.
muzan kibutsujii will pay, for taking his past and present. but also for taking his future.
that night before he left he remembered the conversation you two had.
"hey tantan" you said sitting on the futon beside his, his mother had provided you with as you ran the brush through your hair.
"yes ____?" he asked with that sweet and kind voice looking up at you with his soft red eyes full of love and adoration.
"have you ever heard of demons?" you asked pressing your finger against your lips as if you were telling a secret. "demons?" he was confused why were you bringing this up?
"yeah like scary man eaters" you said emphasizing your point by putting your fingers against your head like devil horns,
with a laugh he grabbed your hands and pulled them down to hold them in his.
"no i haven't, why?" he asked curious as to why you would ask.
"no reason, i just heard they're sUper scary" you said emphasizing on the u in super.
"well you don't have to worry because demons arent real, and even if they were..." he trailed off a small blush covering his cheeks as he looked up into your eyes. "..i would make sure to protect you and make sure you didn't get hurt.: he mumbled shyly as you stared at him in awa before you smiled.
"i know!"
"god ____, i'm so sorry" he whispered small tears falling, yet this time there was no one to wipe them.
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A/N Am i sorry? idk anyways goodnight i have classes in 3 hours and i have been procrastinating school work so until next week! Bye Bye!
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spacedlexi · 4 months
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Wait, people think Carver is the best TWDG villain?? I always thought he was basic as hell, and the fact that he was beefing with an 11-years old girl... Now Stranger on the other hand was great, he was super intimidating and off-putting and I was genuinely so scared he would hurt Clementine. I also liked Minnie for the same reasons (she was so creepy/off-putting), but I still think Stranger is the best villain bc he had a great setup while Minnie was kind of a secondary villain. But going back to Lilly/Carver, I also definitely prefer Lilly over Carver even though neither are my favorite... And now I'm kind of curious how you would rank the rest of the TWDG villains? 🤔
carver being the best villain is a sentiment ive heard for years 😭 im sure its coming from the "S2 is the best season" crowd tho which i also dont agree with 💀
the stranger is an effective villain. hes not exactly the typical villain type people expect. but hes very unsettling and him stalking clementine for who even knows how long through the walkie talkie is 🤢 he really makes me feel sick. she was using that talkie to deal with the loss of her parents, and this fucking creep took advantage of that so hard he was able to convince her to trust him. ugh he makes me feel so gross. and think of all the guilt clem must have about that situation. trusting this freak to help her find her parents, when if she had just stayed then lee wouldnt have gotten bit looking for her, and her parents were already dead the entire time anyway. oof. theres no way that isnt one of the biggest regrets of her life
carver is fine. i definitely think his character wouldve made more sense if they put kenny in that role instead. that way theres less "i am a grown man beefing with an 11 year old" and more "this is a child i helped look out for once, and im gonna make sure shes raised Right". but i agree that carver as he is is just over the top. overly villainous to the point of it being a little comical. like when villains are all tough like that my reaction is usually "god i WISH youd fucking kill me already so i dont have to hear your bullshit anymore do you know how GOOFY you sound??". if it was kenny in that role i definitely think they wouldve been able to tone it back a bit, and him "having a good side" wouldve been way more believable. as he is carver is kind of one note
joan.... definitely the weakest of the bunch. i dont really have much to say about her. david isnt even technically a villain but i definitely saw him as the better antagonist for the season. i mean hes definitely a villain in clems eyes. and is a constant semi-antagonist towards javi throughout the whole season. joans just kinda.. there.. doing things behind the scenes to cause conflict until the final confrontation. and then she can just disappear... okay
i like the way the antagonists work in S4. theres more of a discussion around what actually makes someone a villain and the difference between a person who fucked up and made (very horrible) mistakes, and a person who is straight up a threat. and i like that it connects back to the idea of lee and his murder of that senator. did he do something horrible? yes. did he destroy his relationship to his family? yes. does he regret what he did? i think so. and he definitely has guilt about his fucked up relationship with his wife. in S1 they mention how non-guilty people got sent to prison all the time. while lee is Definitely a murderer, we get to see over the season that hes a good guy who just wanted a family and in a moment of rage and betrayal did something he can never take back. this is why i never hated marlon. did he fuck up and do horrible things? of course. but he was a scared fucked up teen leading a group of other scared fucked up teens. he knows he fucked up, and continued fucking up to cover for his previous fuck ups lol. but he can be talked down. its a shame it ends the way it does, but i really like being able to teach aj the difference between people like marlon and people like lilly
lilly takes that kenny/carver idea and applies it to a clementine that has grown up and has been looking out for herself (and baby aj) for years now, instead of the 11 year old trying to figure shit out she was in S2. shes too old for lilly to be able to sway her in a way she couldve been more susceptible to in S2, and when lilly finally realizes this she just turns her attention to aj instead, seeing the potential in him (a potential clem does NOT want aj to live up to, wanting him to get to be a kid and not just a survivor, let alone a killer). lilly is fun because you can see in her that she WANTS clementine on her side, and throughout the season progressively realizes that its just never going to happen. both lilly AND clem come to the realization that this person they once considered family is beyond reason, their views too different, and so the fighting begins. their fight at the end of EP3 really feels like a "so its finally come to this" moment for both of them, their final fight. i always shoot her.
whats interesting about minnie is seeing her evolve from secondary antagonist in EP3 to straight up primary villain in EP4. the things shes done, the way shes been broken. she becomes her own downfall, seeing herself as someone beyond redemption. that this is just who she is now, its how things have to be. because if they didnt have to be this way? well then theres a lot more guilt she'd have to deal with. yelling at her in EP4 to just STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YOU DONT HAVE TO DO THIS ANYMORE but she has been changed (in her eyes) so irreparably that she cant see any other option. and she progressively sees clem as the one who fucked everything up for her, instead of accepting that it could all finally be OVER. after killing sophie, the delta was all she had left. it cant have all been for nothing. and so she blames clem for taking it all away from her, even tho clem is just trying to protect her family. the family that used to be minnies. and so in her rage she gets bit. something else that she couldve avoided. but shes just too lost to her own downward spiral, unable to be reasoned with. by that point she just wants it all to be Over. and she wants to take tenn with her so she can finally pretend things can all go back to the way they used to be. her, sophie, tenn, and their parents all together again, where no more bad things have to happen to them. shes super tragic and i love her for that. and i love how she holds this dark mirror up to clem. clem struggles to let go of her past too, and the guilt she has over the things shes done and people shes hurt. and that if she cant learn to let go and move on she could get lost to it the same way minnie did. theres a reason clem is so quick to accept her fate, but shes finally able to leave that guilt holding her to her past behind in that barn. and she returns to ericson a much happier and lighter person, so much weight finally lifted from her shoulders. its finally over for her too
so yeah. my fave villains are definitely the S4 ones due to their nuance and layers. then the stranger, then carver, then joan. if i had to put david on this list he'd probably be above carver. but thats mainly because he has more nuance than carver ever did
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sieglinde-freud · 5 months
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feel like morgan/lucina is kinda underrated like i get why. but also like… duuude… take it from lucinas perspective: the kid of the fell god that betrayed your father turns against you despite years and years of friendship and most definitely knowing eachother since birth (do you honestly think chrom and robin wouldnt set their kids up on play dates immediately? really??) and despite how much you love them you know they’re beyond saving and you have to leave them behind to succumb to grima when you go back in time to save the world, accepting that youll never see them again! oh shit buts whats this… they show up in the past anyways? having forgotten all the time you spent together, the trouble they caused, everything you meant to them? but its them, its morgan and for the first time in years youre able to see them again happy, carefree, and in complete control! should you feel sad? scared? overjoyed? i dont know! but slap some yuri on that and you got a crazy ass little sideplot all im saying!!!
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melodyfsoul1 · 6 months
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LOKI S2 FINALE GLORIOUS PURPOSE
Just spent over an hour crying over the Loki S2 Finale, and still havent recovered, but here I go anyway with my Reaction/ Review
*Loki S2 E6 Spoilers ahead*
Okay so... before watching the episode I wrote down a couple things that I did NOT want to happen/ but knowing myself, and my luck with my characters, figured that was exactly what would happen....
and turns out... I was correct....
Back in Infinty War I feared/ predicted that Loki was gonna die in the first 10 min in a stupid way where he wouldnt be able to show off his powers... and we all know how that turned out...
For this season finale, all I hoped was that Loki, for once wouldnt play the self sacrifical lamb, and find a way where he didnt have to lose Mobius and his new found friends, where he would be not alone...
So.... yeah.... about that....
Now to the Review/ Reaction:
God I was so scared
"Glorious Purpose"
The title alone had me tearing up.... we really came full circle back to S1 E1 and the fact that they started the recap with 2012 Loki too...
1 min 30 in and I'm already pausing, THE INTRO IS BACKWARDS, thar was so cool
So we all knew Loki would have to go back and try to safe everyone
BUT MARVEL DIDNT HAVE TO SHOW US TIMELY DYING OVER AND OVER AGAIN (and in so many angles too....)
Then Loki trying to learn everything OB knows to be prepared to help, but it would take time, makes sense
"CENTURIES LATER"
WHAT?! They really did that, good thing Loki has that long Life span...
The fact that all the characters realizes sth was off with Loki but MOBIUS is the one to stop and talks to him, and Loki telling him to trust him.... my heart
OH MY GOD ITS WORKING?! And Timely survived too? Did not expect that
I have never seen Loki this relieved/ happy but at the same time sad and exhausted before...
But of course its never that "easy"
No matter what, the infinite amount of branches will always detroy the loom, so the moment a timeline branched everything was doomed from he start... Ah yes Marvel and their existential dread...
Loki going back to before Sylvie killed He Who Remains, trying to convince her not to kill him.... and of course she says he has to kill her if he wants to stop her...
God Loki's Emotional Damage....
Of course Loki cant
HWR COULD HAVE STOPPED TIME THAT THE WHOLE TIME!??!! The fact that he figured Loki has gone through this whole scene before and still just watched
He knows about time slipping...
He paved he road
He planned this
Him and Loki had this conversations before
"We die with the dying, we are born with the dead"
That is such a sick quote :0
Its basically Loki vs HWR forever, and Loki knows he will always lose... but still wants to try... kudos to his determination
And of course Loki cant bring himself to trade lives... not Sylvie's, not his friends and not the multiverses...
Loki goes back to the first time he talked to Mobius...NOOOOO not the Throne talk, why does this feel like a final good bye talk.... I HATE IT
Though S1 E1 Mobius having a chat with S2 E6 Loki is such an interesting concept
He wants to find out how they chose who lives and dies... ("Who lives, who dies, who tells your story" huh? Sorry but I had to make that Hamilton reference XD)
"You're not gonna find comfort in the TVA" - Mobius to Loki
BUT HE DID, LOKI DID FIND COMFORT, IN YOU MOBIUS, Im gonna cry ... the TVA was the first place where Loki could just be himself and he found friends there too
Also Mobius might be the only comfort character who actually gives comfort (and isnt just an angsty mess who hasnt had a happy day ever)
Mobius telling the story of a hunter who couldnt kill a kid, which caused more death, loosing sight of the bigger picture
So he is talking about himself right? And of course Renslayer was the Partner
Mobius telling Loki they have to chose a burden and live with it... that it leaves scars.
Theres this sinking feeling again
And the scene SPGAHETTIFIES?! I SWEAR TO GOD MARVEL, NOT AGAIN, STOP GIVING US FANS PTSD THROUGH VISUAL EFFECTS
I dont know what to think of Loki & Sylvie's final talk.... Loki has an idea?
Oh NoNONONONONONO
I FREAKING KNEW HE WAS GONNA GO THE SELF SACRFICE ROUTE BACK FROM EP 1 AND I FIGURED HE WOULD TAKE TIMELY'S PLACE IN EP 5 BUT THIS?!
Cant he ever be happy?! Is there any Loki, in any universe who actually gets to be happy?!
The fact that Mobius was the first to notice and that him and Sylvie immediately followed Loki, tried to talk him out of it
Loki looking back, saying he finally knows what he wants
MY HEART
LOKI WALKING THROUGH SPACE WITHSTANDING THE RADIATION JUST LIKE THOR WITHSTOOD THE DYING STAR IN INFINITY WAR, THE PARALLELS
THE NEW OUTFIT, THE CAPE, HIS HORNED HELMET, OH MY GOD
It looks like an End of Time Aesthetic Version of his Ragnarok Outfit wih the Cracked Kintsugi helmet
Ngl at first I had no idea if he was using his powers to manually destroy, change or preserve the branches.... or weave them together
Oh and to be clear I was crying during like the whole last 20 min of the episode because that was just too many emotions at once
Also can we talk about how freaking cool looking the shots of Loki with the new Helmet and the branches being his cape, were?!
The throne... Oh god the remains of HWR throne...
LOKI'S GLORIOUS PURPOSE WAS TAKING ON THE BURDEN OF THE THRONE HE NEVER WANTED
*starts violently sobbing*
Poetic, Ironic and Heartbreaking, all at the same time
Like, is it extremely cool to see him use his powers to his full potential? Yes definitely.
Were the cinematics beautiful? Yes of course, it was gorgeous, tho the moment I realized he was making Yggdrasil, I started bawling my eyes out, because "You go Loki, show us what you can do"
But I also felt my heart break because Loki is now at the end if time, chose to have to watch over & protect the multiverse, all alone, forever.... (can he leave that place?)
Like this is the very same Loki, who just, 1 episode ago, admitted that he is terrified of being alone, who just wants to be with his friends. L1130 is a Loki who was actually happy and had friends, a place where he felt safe because he could be himself. And he gave EVERYTHING up to give EVERYONE ELSE a chance at life, a life he might not be able to take part in... he can watch, but we dont know if he can interact with them....
I literally talked about that in my reaction/ review from last episode. Sylvie & Loki are both selfish, which is ironically a very human trait (them being gods and all), but unlike Sylvie, Loki would actually give up everything to safe others, which is exactly what he did.
And I know Comic Loki, God of Stories, wrote himself out if the Narrative as well, out of the Story, to look behind the curtain, have a talk with the beings behind everything, but that Loki also had Verity, he had a friend outside of everything, he had someome to talk to, a friend. Verity is one of my fav characters and I would have loved to see her Comic Version too in the MCU, but I saw B-15's Name was revealed to be Verity Willis, so thats is cool Easter Egg :D
Back to Loki, I honestly cant tell which Loki has it the worst... I always thought the main Loki dying to Thanos had it the worst, but he sth akin to a life and he got the chance to mend his relationship with Thor before he died his heroes' death...
Now L1130, in the worst case, is damned to spent eternity alone, the very thing he is scared of, being without his friends, forced to watch from afar as they live life without him, when all he wanted was to be with them... that is unless he can just leave the place whenever he wants to (if the branches allow it I guess?) But if it turns out that he cant leave that place/ or interact with anyone, without everything going down immediately, then I would argue that this Loki's life is worse than the other's death... and I cant believe Im describing Infinity War Loki's Death as a mercy...
Back to the ep...
AFTER?! Right theres an after
The TVA is still intact, with a new leader ship and everyone working together, B-15, OB, Casey and even Ms Minutes is helping?
Mobius looks so sad doing his job though...
Hes gonna LEAVE?! He wants to experience his own life on the timeline, huh... Loki did promise that to Don... and M is going for it, thats sweet actually
Renslayer got sent to the end of time, Alioth waiting for her, well then
Mobius seeing what his life used to be is so sweet, likes how perfectly imperfect is it
Sylvie visits too?
"Its weird Loki's not around" she says and I start bawling my eyes out again, now thats just salting the wound.... at least they remember him
NOOOOO THE SHOT OF LOKI IN HIS THRONE
He is smiling, but he's crying too
Is there ANY Marvel Movie, or Show where Loki doesnt cry?!?! My freaking heart...
Look I know this ending makes rational sense.... and it was defintely epic, and we finally got Loki at his full potential, and yes, Loki being finally recongnized as one of the most powerful MCU characters is cool.
But personally, on an emotional level, that ending is somewhere between bittersweet and absolutely heart breakingly dreadful, because Loki didnt want this, he didnt want the throne, he only did this to save his friends, he gave up his own happiness and I hate it... I know he is happier knowing his friends have a chance at life and that he chose this, but there wasnt much of an choice with HWR....
I just hope that Loki learning to control time means he can at least visit his friend, pop in from time to time, because if him leaving the throne/ the branches means everything could come crashing down, then thats just sad...
And what does that mean for the teased Loki & Thor Reunion?! WHAT HAPPENED TO THAT?! We didnt even get an end credit scene?!
Anyways, I'm gonna rewatch the season the next couple days and go through some theories and head canons and see whether that will change my opinion on the ending, but we'll see.
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