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whereisten · 6 months

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To Be Forgiven

FT: Suguru Getou & Nanami Kento

Pairing: Suguru Getou x Nanami Kento x reader Genre/Themes: sMUT! Convent (nuns and priests), angst Warnings: Threesome - F/M/M, vampire priests, loss of virginity, praise kink, light BDSM (rope use, spanking) overstimulation, multiple orgasms, oral sex (m and f receiving), rough sex, blood mention, gaslighting, devotion, voyeurism, degradation, dumbification, creampie, character death, vampire priests Word Count: 8.8k

A/N: WELL... this is probably the dirtiest thing i've ever written, and I know its not kpop or nct based so im sorry for that. It was HEAVILY inspired by these two posts: https://x.com/polariae/status/1722684591079673876?s=20 https://x.com/kimmy_art0912/status/1721731893622714594?s=20 (so please take a look to get a good image in your mind before you start reading hehe the artists are amazing) Also, this in no way is meant to offend Christianity or the world of Catholics, the theme is only used for fantasy. Sorry if it's a little messy, i just had to get it out of my system. Dont forget to leave a comment if you like it! Thank youuuu xoxo

Freedom felt good. That’s what you thought to yourself the moment you stepped off the bus and onto the new convent you’d be living the rest of your life in. You’d finished college, graduating as you set out to do and now came the next step: devoting your life to Christ.

Your parents didn’t understand your desire to live this way, but they supported you nonetheless. With tearful eyes, they bid you farewell and swore to stay strong until the next time they’d see you.

You drag your luggage to your room and sit down on your bed, inhaling and exhaling the fresh air slowly.

“Hi! You’re new here!” A woman dressed in her holy tunic stands in the middle of your open doorway, her hands placed in front of her as she smiles.

You smile back. “Oh..yes! I just got here actually.”

“That’s wonderful, welcome to our home, my name is Khadija and I hope I can help you at some point, my room is a few doors down if you ever need anything!” She waves as you nod.

“Thank you, my name is Y/n.”

She nods as well and walks away.

A few days later, you’ve started speaking with other nuns in an effort to gain an understanding of how things normally operate.

“At 8 A.M, we have breakfast together and then continue our studies in our assigned classrooms. Should you need anything, I am always here.” Sister Nancy, your neighbor, walks with you to breakfast. She guides you through the convent and provides helpful information.

While at breakfast you try to get to know her better. “How long have you lived here?”

“Hmmm…time has sort of..run away from me…” she looks puzzled as she stares at her bowl of oatmeal. Almost as if lost in thought, her voice trails off and eventually becomes silent.

“Sister Nancy?”

“Oh! Yes..about 5 years.” She nods and looks back up at you. Once at the end of your breakfast you stand up and bring your trays to the cafeteria where you can toss any trash.

“Sister Y/n..” Nancy says quietly while walking beside you.

“Yes?” You look at her curiously.

“I must tell you..when you study, when you learn how to best serve God here..please be wary..”

“I’m not sure what you mean..” your brows bunch together.

“Well..the priests here are great, devoted and caring..but there are some who..may not have good intentions.”

You place your trays down and walk together in the hall towards your rooms.

“Men of the cloth are always good, Sister Nancy, what do you mean by this?”

“They should be good..but they are not, be careful and stay steady in your faith, do not lose sight of your goal..”

She stops while you continue walking.

“But Sister, who-?” You turn to look at her, but suddenly, she is gone, not even the breeze from her departure surrounds you.

You stare into the hall. “Sister Nancy?” You call out, but it is empty and eerily quiet. You turn back towards your room and bump into a large chest.

“Oh!”

You stumble backwards, but the tall, sturdy figure grabs your arms to hold you still.

“I am so sorry..”

You look up slowly.

The man has long black hair, feline-like eyes and a tempting smile. You quickly look away and onto the floor as your mind starts to desire more than just this embrace.

He chuckles and it’s like angels have started to sing from heaven. “My apologies, I should’ve walked more carefully.”

He finally lets you go.

“You’re new here, right?”

You look back up at him, a strand of hair gracing his beautiful face perfectly as he smiles.

“Y-yes..I’m Sister Y/n..please forgive me for-“

“Ahh no need, Sister Y/n..please continue..my name is Suguru by the way, if you need anything, just let me know..” He steps to the side to let you pass, but never lets go of your wide eyes.

You wondered how such a young man could become a priest. He looked dark and mysterious, unlike any of the other priests you’d seen before.

[The Next Day]

You’re heading to your first class where you’ll be taught by Father Nanami. You sit down in your chair comfortably before looking around to see if you can find Khadija and Nancy. To your disappointment, they aren’t there.

Then, he walks in. The blonde man with small glasses makes your jaw drop. He is just as tall and young as Father Suguru, but he looks stern and serious.

He places his books down and looks around at the class. “Welcome, let us begin, please open your pages to the verse written on the board.”

He sounds just as strict as he looks, no “good morning” or “how are you?” He jumps straight into business.

He is also your personal counselor, but you aren’t sure if you’ll be visiting him often.

Later that day, you go apple picking with Sister Khadija.

“Would you like to tell me of your life before you chose Christ?” Khadija asks, gently picking a ruby red apple from above her head.

“Sure! I was happy..I graduated college and felt I’d done it all..but somehow, I still felt empty. Then one day, I overheard a sermon on the radio..and I felt..I felt this urge, a calling, rather. I felt the need to participate in something much bigger than myself, and so I decided to devote my life to Him.”

Khadija smiles. “That’s very nice.”

“And what about you?”

“Oh..I..don’t quite remember, but yes, I did feel the calling as well.”

You nod slowly, then smile quickly to cover up your worry. How could she not remember?

“That’s great!”

As you’re walking back with baskets full of apples, you turn to her. “I didn’t see you in Father Nanami’s class today, do you have a class with another priest at that time?”

Khadija stops, dropping her basket as her eyes widen. “Wh-who’s class?”

You kneel down and begin to gather the apples that fell out. “Father Nanami..is everything okay, Khadija?”

She dips down to pick her basket up. “I’m sorry, Sister Y/n, how clumsy of me.”

“It’s okay! I-“

“But Y/n, Nanami is not a great instructor..I would recommend another professor..”

She looks into her eyes as your hands touch while reaching for the same apple.

You frown. “He seems to be very serious about his work, I feel I can learn a lot from him.”

Khadija shakes her head. “He..is dangerous.”

You stand up straight and laugh. “Are his exams that bad? I figured he’d be a harsh teacher, but I look forward to the challenge!” You grip your basket and continue walking.

Khadija looks at you with a worried expression. She wished Nanami was a harsh grader, and nothing more, but unfortunately, this wasn’t the case.

[One Week Later]

You step into Nanami’s office to ask a quick question.

“Father Nanami-“

Suguru stands next to Nanami’s desk, flipping through one of his books before gazing up at you slowly.

“Hello, Sister Y/n.”

You nod. “Hello! I’ll come by later.”

“Wait a moment, you can speak with me if you’d like.” He says smoothly before sitting in the chair.

“Oh..is Father Nanami not available today?”

Suguru smirks when he senses your unease. “He will be back in about an hour, what is it you’d like to ask him?”

“I-I’ll ask him tomorrow, it really is no problem.” You turn to leave, but he stops you.

“Are you enjoying your time here, Sister?”

He intertwines his fingers in front of him and places his chin on top.

You turn back to him and smile. “Yes..but to be honest with you, father, I’m not sure if I’m worthy to be here.”

He tilts his head slightly, a dark glimmer presents itself in his eyes..or are you just seeing things? “What makes you say that, Y/n?”

The absence of “Sister” from his sentence and the way your name rolls off his tongue makes you shudder, but the feeling quickly leaves you as you clear your throat.

You look to the floor. “I don’t know, it’s probably nothing more than nervousness.”

Suguru leans back. “Of course you are worthy, Y/n. Do not worry, Christ lives through you at all times.”

You look back up at him and return his smile. “Thank you, father.”

You leave and release a deep breath you'd been holding. Something about him made you..unsettled. You didn’t know why, but as you walk back to your room, you shake the feeling off, never noticing his eyes on you from the doorway.

A few weeks pass and you notice that you often see Father Nanami walking about the halls and chatting with other Priests or Nuns. Suguru is hardly ever around, but honestly, you didn’t mind it. The long-haired temptress reminded you of the sin that still resides in your heart. The sin of lust. You couldn’t deny it anymore, and it forced you to visit the chapel more often.

You could resolve this impure feeling if you just prayed and believed in your Lord.

Apart from that, your time at the convent was going well. You bonded with your Sisters, and learned from Father Nanami as well as your Bible.

Some nights, however, you wake up randomly with the doomed feeling of being watched.

“Hello?” You say quietly as you turn your bedside lamp on and peer out into the corners of the room. There’s nothing, there’s no sound. You only hear your trembling breath. There’s a slight chill in the air and it makes you grip your blanket tightly.

This would happen around the same time every night, but you brushed it off to you being nervous. After all, you’re in a new home, surely it would take some more time for you to get used to your new bed and room. You tried to brush off the thought that part of these strange occurrences had to do with your room being just a few feet away from a cemetery.

You couldn’t go back to sleep most nights so you’d stay up and read your Bible until the sun rose.

To make matters worse, you didn’t see Nancy or Khadija as often, you couldn’t talk to them about how your nights had been going.

[One Week Later]

You run into Father Suguru for the first time in a while. He was just leaving Father Nanami’s office when he collided with you while turning the corner.

“Oh!” He laughs, his smile causing his eyes to crinkle. Your heart weakens at the sight.

No. Remain firm.

“I am so sorry, Father Suguru.” You step back and bow slightly.

“It’s alright, Sister Y/n, how have you been doing? You look tired.” His smile falls when he notices how dark your eyes have gotten since the last time he’d seen you.

“Oh! Really?” You rub the side of your neck and look to the floor. “Is it that obvious?”

He nods. “What’s wrong? Are you having a difficult time here?”

You shake your head. “No..no it’s not that..it’s just-“

He steps closer, looking down on you intently with knitted brows.

“You see..I’ve been waking up…in the middle of the night..feeling strange.”

Suguru smiles slightly. “How so, Y/n?”

And once again, you felt anxious about his tendency to omit your title.

“It’s nothing, Father..I’ll be-“ movement behind him catches your eye. You see a nun now down the hall quickly.

Nancy.

“Sister Nancy! Wait!”

You call out, but she doesn’t stop.

You look back at Father Suguru. “I apologize, sir. I must be going.”

He nods and watches as you walk by him.

You run after Nancy who quickly turns a corner. “Wait!” You try to call after her again, but once you turn the corner, she’s gone.

Things were getting weird and you didn’t know why. The sudden disappearances, the disturbing stillness and chill at night, it all made you worried.

That night, you wake up as usual, but this time, you finally see a figure. You aren’t sure if you should feel relieved or frightened at the sight.

You turn your lamp on before turning back to her. “Sister..is everything okay?”

Sister Khadija stands at the foot of your bed with dark circles under her empty eyes. Her lips are gray and her hair is unkempt. You’d never seen her like this before.

“W-what’s wrong?” You sit up in your bed.

She only raises her hand and points to the window behind your headboard.

You stand up and look outside of it, but nothing is there, only darkness.

“Sister Khadija, what’s going-“ you turn back to look at her, but she’s gone.

Goosebumps engulf your skin as the room suddenly feels much colder. You open your door quickly to see if she has gone to her room, but no one is there.

You’re seeing things. You just need to sleep more, that’s all.

You close your door again and climb into bed. You clutch your blanket then reach for your Bible, praying that Sister Khadija is sleeping soundly in her room.

The next night, the same thing happens, but this time with Sister Nancy.

“Nancy-“ you wipe your eyes and focus on her face.

“You have to leave.” She says softly then runs out of your room.

You jump out of the bed and run after her, ignoring the fact that you’re inappropriately dressed in just your nightgown and running through the halls of the convent.

You run fast, trying hard to not lose her this time. You needed answers. Why were they both visiting you at night? What did she mean by “you have to leave?”

But after running for nearly 4 minutes, you finally lose sight of her. You stop and look around in hopes of figuring out which dark, gloomy hall you’re in. The walls are lit by candles, making it difficult to figure out, but you’re sure that you’ve never been in this particular corridor before.

*thump*

Your head flicks toward the end of the hall where a loud banging sound comes from.

You walk towards it and hear it again.

As you get closer, you also hear soft groans and whispers.

Your hand hovers over the door knob. Should you enter? What do you expect to see? Someone that could help you get back to your room?

Without much thought, you turn it and push the door open slowly.

Your eyes widen at the sight.

It’s Priest Suguru on a bed.

You gasp. He’s tied up with thick rope and completely naked. His head hangs low as he watches a nun’s head move on his lower half.

“Slower..yes..just like that.” His intoxicating voice fills the room. You step back and the sound of your foot just barely dusting the wood causes his head to snap up.

You cover your mouth.

His eyes are red and glow in the dim lighting of the candle lit room.

But what’s even more frightening is the blood that drips from the corners of his mouth. His chest heaves as he smiles wickedly. You tremble at the sight of two large fangs in his smile.

“Y/n…” he calls out softly to you. Your eyes refuse to leave his body. Your knees feel weak as a mixture of emotions flood you. Fear, confusion, lust- you become too overwhelmed to speak.

The Sister below him releases his dick from her mouth, causing a ‘pop’ sound to echo. She turns around to face you, her mouth drips with blood and her eyes glow as well. She wipes her mouth with her fist before standing up and walking towards the door.

You stumble backwards, your eyes still focused on Suguru behind her.

And then, the door slams in your face.

You snap out of your gaze, feeling your body experience a shock unlike anything you’ve felt before. What did you just see? Was it real? No, you had to be dreaming. Suguru, a holy man, would never—

The gorgeous sounds of his moans fill your head.

“Stop!” You say to yourself as your eyes grow teary.

You start running away from the door. You had to find your room, you had to repent immediately. How could your lustful mind conjure up such a degrading image of a priest? You’re disgusting, you’re unworthy of the Lord.

You pray you can be forgiven for your sin, but the sudden wetness in between your legs tells you that it may be too late.

———

[One Week Later]

Fortunately, you hadn’t seen Suguru since that night. You still weren’t sure if you dreamt it or not, but you begged God every night that it wasn’t real.

“Are you okay, Sister Y/n?” Father Nanami interrupts your thoughts. You look around the classroom to see you’re the only one still there.

“Oh! Yes, Father, I apologize..I’ll get going.”

“You look tired, get some sleep tonight.” He says before grabbing his briefcase and leaving.

“Yes, Father.”

That night, you tossed and turned. You had vivid dreams of the halls and the people you saw every day. Your dreams were more realistic than ever before.

You then start to dream of that dreaded night..but there is something different.

You feel your wrists are tied to your head board, your legs are pulled apart by large hands as you wiggle on your bed. Your nipples are perky, peeking through your gown, and you can feel your slit leaking.

You look down and see him. His hair is tied up and his upper half is naked.

Suguru crawls over you slowly.

You moan when you see his low gaze on your body.

He lifts your gown up and kisses your stomach with his pillowy soft lips. He works himselfvall the way down to your entrance. You can feel his hot breath fanning it.

“Father..please.” You close your eyes tightly and beg, and with just the sound of this one desperate plea, Suguru licks in between your slit.

Your back arches instantly.

Finally.

His mouth on you feels amazing, you can’t stop moving your hips in an effort to get more from him.

He grips your thighs tightly, pushing them even further apart to lick and suck all parks of you.

Your moans grow louder, your breathing becomes quicker, you’re so close.

He reaches up with one hand under your gown and caresses your breast.

“Look at me.” He demands.

You look down as he drapes your leg over his shoulder and licks at a faster pace.

You lock eyes with his red ones.

“Faster..faster..please..I need more.” You cry out.

And Suguru follows your commands all while watching you writhe under him.

And with one final flick of his devilish tongue, you cum.

Your eyes fly open, you jump out of your sleep while panting.

Another lustful dream.

How could you betray God like this? You can't control your urges, it’s becoming a distraction and a serious problem that needs to be dealt with.

You start to cry quietly and decide that it’s time to get help.

You get on your knees and begin to pray until the sun comes up for only God could banish these cravings and impure thoughts.

———

[The Next Day]

You visit Father Nanami after class.

“Hello..do you have a moment?”

“Yes, come in.”

You close the door behind you and sit in front of his desk.

“How can I help you, Sister Y/n?”

In your time at the convent, you’d never seen him smile, and you certainly didn’t expect to see it today.

He looks sternly at his laptop, awaiting your reply.

You swallow hard, where should you start?

“Father Nanami..I saw..Suguru the other night..he was..he was tied up and in a strange position and he…he was partaking in scandalous activities with another Sister..”

He stops typing and looks up at you over his screen.

“But father..the strangest thing of all is that his eyes were red and his mouth dripped with what I think was..blood..it was..it was terrifying.”

“And yet..you couldn’t look away..could you, Sister Y/n?”

Your eyes grow. Nanami saw right through you and instantly knew of your sins.

“Father..I’m so sorry, I must beg for forgiveness.”

He takes his glasses off and places them onto the desk. He shrugs. “Why?”

You’re confused. “Because..because I saw the devil and had impure thoughts, Father! I’ve sinned, I’m unworthy of being here.” You bring your hands to your face and start to sob in them.

“Shhhh..no need to cry, Y/n..simply beg for forgiveness and do as he says..”

You nod. “Yes, father, I will visit the chapel right away and live as God tells me to, I-“

Nanami chuckles. “No..no Y/n..beg him for forgiveness..”

“..him?” You look up slowly.

“Father Suguru is the one whose image your impure mind has desecrated without reason..surely, you don’t think what you saw was anything more than your lust taking form in a dream? You imagined Suguru as something completely opposite of who he is, and you need ask for his forgiveness as he is the human embodiment of God..we all are, isn’t that right, Y/n?”

“Oh..I see, I apologize for not understanding..I will go to him right away.”

Nanami nods. “Good girl.”

You look to the floor to not see his smirk. But you can feel it in his tone and it’s strange.

You go to Suguru’s office in the evening when everyone is leaving to prepare for bed.

“Father Suguru..?” you say softly, but feel worried as you stand in his doorway.

“Oh. Sister Y/n..it’s nice to see you.” He gives a sly smile.

You nod.

“Close the door.” He sets aside a few books and sits down.

Like before, you find it hard to get started, but know you must in order to become a better Christian.

“Father..I must confess and with this confession I hope that you will not change your perception of me..I-I hope you will forgive me and allow me to continue to grow in this establishment.”

“Sister Y/n..you don’t believe you are worthy of being here, so why should I believe it?”

Your mouth falls open.

A smug look crosses his face. “You’ve come here to ask for my forgiveness, but have you forgiven yourself?”

“Father..I-I don’t follow.”

“What is it you’d like me to forgive you for? For watching..for craving..for..wanting to not only feel the devil but to taste him as well?”

You step back and gasp. “Father! I would never-“

“Oh, Y/n..sure..I’ll forgive you, but I know that’s not the only thing you desire.” He stands behind his desk and holds his hands together in front of him, his grin never leaving his face.

“Father, I only wish to absolve myself of my sins and live purely. It is the goal that I-“

He waves his hand. “Sure..sure..but tell me Y/n..how did it feel?”

“H-how did “what” feel?”

He walks closer to you, making more and more hairs on the back of your neck raise with each step.

“The lust, the desire…the craving..”

“I-I don’t know..it felt..”

“Strange, right?” He smiles widely.

”I’ll forgive you if you’ll allow yourself to indulge in your fantasies tonight.”

“No!” You back away from him.

“My dear Y/n..these thoughts will only go away if you give in for just a moment.”

“So what I saw the other night..was real?”

“It’s as real as you want it to be, Y/n. Tell me..do you want to feel what it’s like to be tied up and at the mercy of another?”

You tremble.

“Hands can roam along your skin, press into your thighs and collect the slick building in between your slit..fingers part it to allow way for my tongue to taste you and draw out your long withheld moans. But I won't stop, not until you’ve really felt me inside, making you the perfect size for me, pushing every breath out of your body. Not until our bodies become one and you’ve cried out to God for release.”

“Father..” you breathe heavily, his lips just inches from yours.

“And with your hands tied behind you, you’ll have no choice but to bounce on me until I’ve said I forgive you..even if it takes all night..you’re mine to control. In every position, in every hour..we’ll gain a brief moment in heaven together..only then can your sins be absolved.”

You swallow hard.

“You watched the devil and you liked what you saw..are you ready to fuck him too?”

Suguru’s eyes become a deep shade of red.

“How can you say such obscene things? What are you?” You stare into his eyes.

“A servant of God..of course…but I’m also the one that can make you feel so..so good.” he places a hand on your neck and tilts his head.

“But you..you’re..”

“Yes..Y/n..go on..say it.” His eyes follow your lips.

“A demon..”

He chuckles and his eyes float downwards. “And you’re as wet as you were that night..so shall we?”

“How can you..live in the house of God?” You look up with wide eyes.

Suguru lifts one corner of his mouth. “You see..I use my abilities for good Y/n..just one night and I shall remove the impurities from your blood, would you like me to?”

You hesitantly nod. He takes you into his arms and cranes down to your neck.

You grunt at the sudden move.

He then digs into your neck, causing you to yelp, your head falls back over his shoulder. The pain quickly turns into a pleasurable feeling as he sucks your blood. Your body relaxes in his arms. He pulls away and tilts your chin toward his to kiss you deeply. It’s your first kiss, so he leads you into it, caressing your lips slowly, mixing your spit with your blood.

Your eyes close as you feel his tongue dance over your bottom lip. You relax more and more into his arms and embrace the feeling of his broad chest against your back.

He pulls away and looks into your eyes. “Do you wish to feel more? Do you wish to indulge your sins and be absolved of them thereafter?”

You nod, feeling your willingness to leave dissipate after his kiss. He smiles.

“Very good, Y/n.” He says before sucking again.

He takes you to a room lit with only candles.

He carefully removes your head cover and dress, then pulls his rope out from a closet.

He ties your hands behind your back, and continues to create intricate patterns across your body, making sure to kiss you every now and then. His cold fingers brush against your skin, sparking fires.

You feel vulnerable, but follow his every move and command as you kneel on the bed.

He removes his collar and lets his holy robe drop to the floor. You stare at his magnificent body causing him to laugh out. “The lust in your eyes is delicious” he puts his hair up in a bun, but a part of you wishes he’d let it stay down so you could run your hands through it.

You turn away in embarrassment. “I’m sorry father, I-“

He turns your face back to his and continues to kiss you. When he pulls away he runs his thumb along your bottom lip. “Are you ready?”

You nod.

He lays down under you, fixes his face between your thighs and begins to eat you out as you cry out his name.

With his hands on your ass, he forces you to move back and forth onto his face. Your ankles are tied to the same rope that binds your wrists, forcing you to stay open.

“Father!” You cry out when you feel the tip of his nose rub against you. You rock your hips back and forth on your own.

More, you need more. That’s all you can think as his tongue explores you.

He groans against you, sending amazing vibrations through you.

“So sweet..your scent has driven me insane since you first stepped foot inside this convent..”

He groans and begins to buck his hips into his own cuffed hand.

He can’t wait to feel you around him, he can’t wait to drain you as you tremble and lose it all to him.

Suguru sucks your clit harder at the thought.

You yell out at the unexpected action and move faster.

Just then, Nanami walks in and stands at the end of the bed to watch.

“You really are trying to let God hear..”

You jump up and look at him, but Suguru digs his fingertips into your thighs to keep you still.

“Father Nanami! Please..forgive me.” You shut your eyes tightly, holding back your tears while cumming all over Suguru’s mouth.

Nanami palms himself through his jeans.

The casual look suits him very well, but you’re still embarrassed to let him see you like this.

He walks over to you, caressing your face with one hand and zipping his pants down with the other. “Shhh..open your mouth and all will be forgiven.”

He rubs his thumb along your bottom lip, gently pushing downward.

You do as he says, doing your best to fit all of him into your mouth. Laying your tongue out underneath it, you push forward and taste the saltiness from the precum leaking out.

Suguru kneels beside you on the bed and watches.

“Yes, good girl, you follow instructions so well.” Nanami removes his collar and shirt now too.

You choke slightly after feeling him hit the back of your throat, but you keep going, bobbing slowly as your spit builds.

Suguru now licks your nipples, eventually biting into one and sucking your blood once more. You groan from the pain, sending vibrations onto Nanami who grunts and curses.

He puts a hand to the back of your head and begins to thrust into you. Tears prick the ends of your eyes, you can barely breathe. If your hands were free, you’d use them to cover a few inches. If you could talk, you’d tell him to be gentler on you. But you take it all, knowing that you’d be forgiven if you bring both men satisfaction.

You moan as you feel your throat become raw.

“She’s being such a good girl..” Suguru smiles wickedly before licking up the blood around your wound.

Nanami finally releases along the bottom of your throat, choking you as tears fall onto your cheeks and your eyes become red. You wish he’d tell you you were a good girl, but the stoic man simply says “Swallow.” And looks down on you through laser eyes.

You do as he says, swallowing every drop and hoping that it will somehow purify your soul like holy water or wine.

He pulls out. “Ahh good girl..” he finally smiles, using his thumb to collect the spit that escaped and putting it back into your mouth. Suguru kisses you to taste yourself as well as Nanami. Nanami caresses his hair and your head as well.

“Am I forgiven, father?” You look up at him with wide eyes.

He looks down at your breasts and neck, aching to bite into you so he can grow hard again.

Suguru then kneels in front of you and begins to cup his hand around his member. The tip is red and dripping with precum, you stare but Nanami grabs your hair to pull your neck back.

“There’s so much greed and lust in your eyes, you’ll have to do much more than that to gain forgiveness.”

He pushes you down so you now face Suguru’s member.

“Open that filthy mouth of yours again.”

Nanami kneels on the bed behind you and begins to eat you out.

His tongue is lighter than Suguru’s, just applying kitten licks, but that somehow makes it hotter. You can’t help but move more in an effort to get closer to his lips.

Meanwhile, Suguru’s head falls back as you take him into your mouth.

He isn’t as patient as Nanami thrusts into you while groaning, causing a yelp to escape you. Your throat, still raw and irritated from being pounded into by Nanami, still closes around him well. He whimpers and places his hand onto the back of your head.

Nanami adds his fingers to open you up more and you throw your head back. “Father!”

“So wet and pretty..this tight pussy of yours needs to be made ready.”

He pushes in and out faster. You pull away from Suguru as Nanami’s fingers stretch you out.

“Slower, Father..please!”

“Focus on me, Y/n. It’s my forgiveness you should be seeking.” Suguru takes your chin in his hand and forces you to look back at him.

Nanami bites into your thigh, sucking harder and faster. You’re shocked to see that Nanami is the same as Suguru, but your focus shifts to the amazing feeling of being sucked from the area closest to your opening.

You quiver and clench around his fingers before moving up and down on them on your own.

Your moans send vibrations onto Suguru, and combined with the sight of your ass being up, he quickly cums in your mouth, leaving you a crying mess as he forces your head down. You choke while feeling the strings hit the very back of your throat once again.

You cum along with him, Nanami continuously pressing into a sweet spot. It feels too good to explain, but you know you’re too sensitive for more.

When he pulls out, you flick your head back to Nanami who continues to finger you.

“Father! I can't take any more.” You beg Nanami to leave your aching opening be.

You collapse into the bed and pant. Suguru laughs

“We’re just getting started sweetheart. You’re ours tonight, then you’ll be God’s forever.” He says as he ties a collar around your neck. He then unties the rope around your legs. He hands the leash to Nanami who sits against the headboard. He tugs you back, wasting no time to grab your thighs and spread you apart over his lap.

He forces you down onto him as you face Suguru. Suguru smiles again then flicks a thumb against your nipple.

In one move Nanami starts to enter you, causing you to squeal and attempt to run from the penetrative object , but he is just too strong.

“You know it’s her first time, be gentle, Father.” Suguru chuckles.

Nanami tugs your collar hard, “how could I forget? This pussy is reserved for God, isn’t it? the blood will be even sweeter if I go harder, don’t you think?”

“Hmm only one way to find out.”

Nanami pulls you down hard, burying everything inside you at once. You lift yourself up while in tears, but he grabs you again.

“Where are you going? You have work to do..take me in as you take God into your heart.” He smirks. “This is the Godly dick you’ve been craving, isn’t it?”

“T-too much, Father Nanami, I can’t take it.” Heated skin against heated skin, fingertips digging into your skin to leave a permanent impression and the way you can’t stop dripping for them, it’s unlike anything you’ve felt before.

You should feel shame, but you don’t.

“Tsk tsk..you need to prove yourself worthy, Sister Y/n..need I remind you of why?”

You shake your head, tears leaving your eyes as you are stretched out. “It’s my first time, father, I do not know-“

“Just relax and move..”

His hands are stable on the inside of both knees. He begins to bring you up and down onto him. “Yes..just like that.”

You’re wide open for Suguru to see, with just rope around your body. You should feel embarrassed, but there’s something building in the depths of your stomach.

Suguru looks you up and down and sucks your neck as you move. His large hands rest inside your knees to help you move up and down.

Nanami’s hand reaches around your waist, his fingertips part your folds and rub circles into your clit.

It feels amazing, you moan louder and bounce faster. “Father! I’m..I’m going to—“

“Yes, sweetheart, cum for me…”

Your eyes roll to the back of your head, you want to stay still as you feel your climax rush over you, but Nanami continues to thrust into you.

Suguru releases and begins to touch himself again. “Ahh you taste so good.”

“Does she? Let me try.” Nanami pulls your collar, forcing your neck backwards. He bites in hard, still bringing you up and down on his member.

You whimper at the feeling, but shake soon after, cumming twice with just a few seconds between. You feel dizzy, you might pass out. But you also don’t want the men to stop.

Nanami keeps moving as you cry out, your head falling back even more.

You move faster to get his orgasm, he pushes you forward once he's done sucking, kneeling behind you to rail you from behind.

You feel the collar tighten as he pushes harder, forcing your face down into the bed.

“You should feel shame for cumming before me, the holiest servant of God, what makes you think you are higher than me?”

He pushes even harder, making you cry out loudly. “I’m so sorry, father! I didn’t mean to!” You turn your face to the side to breathe.

Nanami spanks your ass hard, causing a breath to leave you and you clench around him.

“All the more reason for this exorcism to take all night, isn’t that right Y/n?” Suguru looks at your strained arms, feeling himself grow unbearably hard with your sweet blood still on his tongue.

“Yes, father, I will do whatever you wish me to!”

Nanami pulls the collar and spanks your ass again. You grunt and close your eyes, you can’t stop clenching around him.

“More father..please, I deserve this.”

A snicker escapes him and spanks you repeatedly as he fucks into you hard, leaving you gasping for air with each thrust.

Suguru kneels beside him and watches while touching himself.

“I’m going to cum inside you, if you let a drop escape, you will have disappointed God. Do you understand?”

You nod. “Yes father. I will keep you in.” You squeal.

He holds your warm ass onto his pelvis as he cums deep inside you.

“Fuck..so fucking good.” Nanami curses while listening to your whimpers.

He then pulls out and leans down to make out with you. You’re enraptured by his aggressive kiss, it’s as if he wants to take every breath out of you.

Suguru licks up the blood that trickles down your leg and moans. “You were right, Nanami. It’s sweeter than the apples and berries outside.”

Nanami pulls away, watching the string of spit that connected your lips drop onto your chin.

“Then she’s ready for you. You’re welcome.”

Suguru laughs then wastes no more time to enter you.

“Suguru!” You cry out, hoping that he’d give you a moment to recover, but he only laughs harder.

“Come on, Y/n, you’re supposed to be ready for me.”

You cry into the sheets, but Nanami lays under you. He hugs your upper body tightly as Suguru fucks you just as hard as he did.

He sucks your neck, his fangs digging into another vein to pull out your impurities.

Your opening is silky and easy to move in, so it doesn’t take long for Suguru to cum again.

“Ah-ah…father!” You climax with him, seeing stars while Nanami drains you.

Suguru pushes everything inside you as well, cursing as he watches you clench around nothing and shake.

Nanami slides out from under you and leaves the bed. You pant and roll over onto your back, hoping that you’d finally be forgiven and welcome into the convent after tonight.

Suguru unties your rope, allowing your body to be free.

However, he can’t get enough of your blood, sucking your wrist while you gather your sanity.

Nanami then pulls out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter from his jeans pocket. He sits

on the bed with his back on the headboard.

“Ride my thigh, sweetheart.”

You shakily get on your knees and put your hands together in a prayer position.

“Father..please grant me forgiveness..”

He blows smoke into the air and smiles. “It wasn’t a question. Come over here.”

You do as he says, crawling over his impressively muscular thigh and grinding against it. He watches you through half lidded eyes and the sight makes you clench. Something about his disheveled blonde hair and the cigarettes he presses in between his swollen peachy lips makes it all hotter.

Suguru lays down beside him and smokes his cigarette as well. “Look at her, a whore that thinks she will be absolved of her sins.” Suguru chuckles.

“In all my 300-something years of life I’ve never pitied anyone more.” Nanami takes a drag.

You continue to move back and forth, but a sense of worry crosses you. “Father..I..what must I do?” You whine.

Nanami looks down at his hard member, having grown quickly since drinking your blood.

You hurriedly move over it and grasp it in your hands. You may have grabbed it a little too hard as Nanami grunts. “Careful, sweetheart.”

“I’m sorry, sir.” You carefully align it with your opening, but you’re too nervous to bring it any closer.

Nanami hands the cigarette to Suguru. He swats your hand away and grabs your waist, pulling you onto him with ease. You whimper, trembling as you adjust to his large size once more.

Your hands find his broad shoulders.

You begin to bounce slowly. “Is it good, sir? Can you forgive me?” It’s a genuine question but you can’t help but feel ridiculous after hearing the desperation in your tone.

Nanami’s eyes are focused on the way your bitten breasts move. Your velvety pussy glides onto him easily, but he needs more. More of your blood, more of your essence.

He flips you over onto your back and sucks your right breast as he fucks into you hard, moving the entire bed as you squeal.

“Too big!” You cry out after his animalistic move. He pounds into you without hesitation. Not caring if anyone heard the lewd sounds created by his thighs hitting yours, or the creaking bed hitting the wall repeatedly. The rush of your blood flowing from your tender breast and into his mouth as well as the sight of the muscular man in between your bender, sweaty legs makes you quiver.

“Now this!” thrust “..is how you take dick, Sister Y/n.” He smirks, pounding hard again.

“Oh God!” Your head falls back as you are stretched out. It’s painful, but you cannot escape Nanami. He sucks your breast and places one hand around your throat.

Your nails dig into his back as he drives you crazy.

“Yes, Y/n, tell God how good your sins feel.” He pushes harder.

You shake your head. “It is wrong to feel this good while sinning.” Your tears flow in a steady stream, you feel as though he may just rip you in two.

“Says who?” He grins wickedly.

Your mouth falls open, you don’t know what to believe anymore.

He stops moving, you look down with furrowed brows. “Do you want me to stop, Y/n?” The corner of his lip tilts up slightly as he already knows your answer.

“No-no, Father, please contin- Ah!”

Before you can even finish, he’s back inside your depths again, molding your pussy around him like he will forever own it.

“Open your mouth wider Y/n..” Suguru takes the cigarette out of his mouth and kneels beside your head, pushing his member into your mouth.

He enters your mouth, thrusting in just as deep as he did before. You gag and Nanami smiles. “I much rather hear you gagging like this.”

Suguru smokes nonchalantly as you are ruined by both of them. You feel open and raw, your mind is mush and you are beyond sensitive. Your hips hurt from being open and your arms hurt from being bound before, but somehow you feel amazing.

They both watch you lose your innocence, your purity, and are happy to be at the center of it all. The sorrowful look on your face as you do anything for forgiveness, your eyes wet with tears and your mouth open, chin covered in a mix of spit and their cum drives them both crazy. There is nothing on your mind except how to please them and yourself.

“Cum with me, let us enjoy this moment together.” Nanami squeezes his hand around your throat then rubs your clit with his fingertips again and you both cum.

Your voice becomes hoarse from yelling out their names all night. You press onto his abs as your eyes roll. Suguru pulls out to watch your wet lips overflow with a mixture of cum and spit.

“You fucked her stupid, Nanami.” Suguru giggles.

Nanami pulls out of you quickly before taking the cigarette from him.

“She’s even cuter now, isn’t she, Suguru?”

He sits back and watches as Suguru flips you over and grabs your leash, pulling your neck back as he fucks you from behind like a wild animal, moving so fast, all you feel is a vibration against your sweet spot.

“Mhmm our cute slut..don’t worry, sweetheart, I’ll take care of you. Just keep gripping me..fuck..that’s my girl.”

He pushes in and pulls out completely, watching as his dick drips with so much slick.

Nanami blows smoke out and leans back. “Ask the slut a few questions, see if she even knows her own name.”

Suguru pushes back in.

“Think you can just dream of these things and be forgiven, sweetheart?”

“Yes, father.” You grip the sheets beside your head, feeling as though you may lose consciousness at any moment. But the way Suguru makes you feel is too good to miss. You hope you can climax with him just one more time. Your body needs him, your pussy needs him.

“How badly do you want to be forgiven, will you please us all night long, is this pussy ours?”

“Yes, father.”

“You’re good at obeying, aren’t you?”

“Yes..father.”

“If you keep yourself from cumming, you’ll be forgiven, how does that sound?”

Your eyes widen, you look back at him and shake your head. “Sir..I don’t know if I can-“

He thrusts harder and pulls back.

“What was that?”

He leans over you, grabbing both of your wrists in one hand and pinning them above your head.

“Obey..me..Y/n..or spend an eternity in hell.”

“Yes..father I will obey you!”

And this would’ve been possible had his fingers not been playing with your clit, you’re in tears as you try to hold back.

You feel his sweaty abs flex against your back, you hear his low and loud groans.

His hot breath fans the back of your neck.

You can’t possibly hold back.

Then, he bites into you, sucking your neck, drawing out blood to cause even more pleasure. “Father! Please! No more! If you do, I’ll-“

He moves his fingertips faster.

You cum and shake, unable to hold yourself back. Suguru laughs and cums as well, holding your ass fast against his hips.

“Ahh I guess we’ll just have to keep going until she proves she is worthy of forgiveness, Father Suguru.” Nanami smiles.

Suguru falls back onto the pillow while Nanami drags you by the waist and down into the bed beside him.

You hang your head low in embarrassment.

“Why so sad Y/n? We’ve got all night to absolve your sins.” Nanami says as he enters your sopping entrance once more. Suguru lights another cigarette and blows the smoke into your face before kissing you and fondling your breasts.

“Fa-“

“Huh?” He thrusts into you from behind. “Can’t hear you..”

“Father-“ you go weak, your eyes closing tightly as you are overstimulated.

Nanami holds you close, thrusting into your weak body while he chases another high.

“Yeah..sound it out, baby.” He chuckles lowly into your ear.

He bites into your shoulder, not caring just how much blood they’ve taken from you tonight, only caring for the euphoric feeling that comes from it. Blood rushes into his mouth and straight to his dick every time, the ecstatic feeling is just as good..maybe even better than an orgasm.

He moves his fingers onto your clit and you let out a high pitched moan.

You cum again with him, this time ruining the sheets, but he only touches your chin covered in drool.

“Good girl..”

Suguru drags you back over his lap, “Move pretty girl..don’t disappoint God..again.”

He angles you over his dick and slides you down.

You move up and down onto him despite being so tired you might pass out.

Suguru only drags a smoke and hands it to Nanami as they both watch your tired body bounce, your fucked out face, swollen breasts and neck riddled with bite marks.

“Tell us how good it feels.”

“So good..father.” Your hands run down his chest, caressing the soft bricks under his skin.

“Is that why you can’t stop cumming like a slut?”

“Yes father.” Your head falls back, you move faster, the building in the pit of your stomach grows.

“Are you gonna cum again for me?”

“Yes father”

“Beg for it.”

“Let me cum with you father!”

“Why?”

“I wish to rid myself of sin with you.”

He can’t help but laugh.

“Please father, I need you.”

“Of course, Y/n.” He grabs your wrist, sucking hard while still watching your breasts move.

You both climax hard, shaking while still being attached.

You lay down in between them, feeling Suguru’s lips on yours and his fingers inside you, pumping in and out as you squirm from the oversensitivity.

You try to close your legs but Nanami forces them apart by placing them on the outside of his strong hands.

“Tell God how good you feel.” Nanami bites into your thigh and sucks as Suguru bites into your neck. Your eyes roll to the back of your head. “So good..” The combination of the two along with Suguru’s long fingers makes you cum so hard you black out.

——

[The Next Morning]

You’re back in your room with your nightgown on.

“What happened..was it real?” You rub your eyes and turn to sit on the edge of your bed.

You feel your body, but don’t feel any bite marks. You don’t feel any difference in your private area either.

“Oh..it was just a dream.” You hang your head low and look to the floor, you then see two feet as someone stands just in front of you. Your head flicks up. “Sister Khadija?”

She wears her nightgown and displays a sad expression. She was the same one who pointed outside that one night, but you never did see her again.

“I told you..” she points outside the window again. You turn to look, “told me what?”

You turn back to her, but she is gone again.

You get up and look outside the window, trying hard to see what she is pointing to. The cemetery that you always prayed over before going to sleep looked the same as always, except..there was a freshly dug grave.

You run outside and decide to look at the headstones and sure enough, the names of the two Sisters you met are there.

Nancy and Khadija.

They've been dead..for 5 years.

“No..no this can’t be true.”

You stumble back, tripping over a pile of dirt and falling to the ground. When you look at the headstone behind you that the dirt has been dug from, you see your name.

Khadija appears. “Sister Y/n..they killed you, just as they killed us and now you are here forever..” she tears up as she watches you cry.

“No..no that can’t be true, they helped me purify my soul, I am good, I am worthy now.”

She shakes her head. “Sister Y/n..a night with the devil will not absolve you of your sins…you know this..”

You look to the ground.

“But..but why did they-“

“No, Sister, the question is why did you?”

Suguru and Nanami fed on your body until you dried out, leaving you for dead, and now..this is your hell.

#jujutsu kaisen #jjk x reader #jjk au #jjk smut #nanami kento #getou suguru #priest kink #vampire #getou suguru x reader #suguru getou x you #nanami kento x reader #nanami kento x you #getou smut #nanami smut #jjk imagines #jjk scenarios #nanami kento x y/n #suguru getou smut #suguru getou x y/n

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milgram-tournament · 5 months

Text

MILGRAM Best Song Tournament, Round 1, Match 4 HALF vs. MAGIC

Propaganda for both options under the cut!

Propaganda for HALF:

kazui may just be an old gay man but HE CAN SING.

its. literally stunning.

like aside from his character and everything else, half is just really really beautifully written

THE INSTRUMENTALS.

HIS V O I C E??? its so pretty

heartbreaking lyrics. i dont love kazui as a character but i have bawled to half

GAY RIGHTS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Love amane but she will undoubtedly win when her purge march poll rolls around, so lets let the old man have a win shall we?

---

half propaganda let's goooo sorry i'm sobern't in true kazui style so this probably won't make a bit of sense

theatre kid man. i love him, incredible mv.

this song is pure ASMR to me

visually aligned with Cat and it's so lovely to see that continuity

the GRAINY MOVIE DOTS THING ON THE MV <3

kazui is so dramatic. i love him i love him

dapper gentleman. such clothes

the key change is so well done

AND THE . THE PART WITH THE. THE ENDING SORT OF LYRICS OVERLAID WITH SPEAKING. and then his quieter singing and, and, and o h my god. im sorry. im not very coherent abt this rn

every part of the song is amazing but once it gets to the key change and after it keeps stepping up the amount of being perfect

kazui is in it

go my psionic warriors vote for everyone's favourite failhusband

no children were tortured in the making of this MV (cough looking at You magic)

---

Allow me to present my Half propaganda!

- The slower tempo adds a very relaxing feeling to the song. Kinda ironic, but I like it! It sort of reminds of old indie songs from 2012 (especially with what I think is whistling added in the instrumental in-between chorus and verses.)

- Kazui’s voice. Enough said.

- It’s very easy to listen to, and I find it’s one of the only songs from Milgram that I like to listen to out of context (besides After Pain, Backdraft, and Purge March, oddly enough.)

- The MV is rife with imagery, and is used to beautiful effect. It really makes you feel for Kazui and his situation.

- The scene with him and Hinako before the key change… that makes me so emo.

- The overlapping part at the end… the lyrics combined with the dialogue in the background makes me really sad in a way I can’t explain.

Propaganda for MAGIC:

MAGIC MY BELOVED MAGIC!!! Its one of the best MVs in the entire series, even including T2. Magic is visually stunning and has some fantastic art direction but also is very clever in how it conveys its themes and ideas. Magic doesn't really hide anything from you, not really. It's all symbolic but it Tells You Things. It shows you the abuse, it shows you the cat. There's a fun little relationship going on here where, In Magic. Amane's pain and suffering isn't taken seriously by the people around her and the Audience we are discouraged to take it at face value due to the fictionalized nature of Magic. It's so cool. I'm so fond of the song as well, it's one of the best in the series purely cause of the Layers in it. The implications of this Inability to be good is seeped into Magic. Amane knows this isn't reality, Magic knows it's a show, she watches it at the end. And it's so Sad to me that even in her fictionalized happy world she Cannot be a good girl. It's a standard completely out of reach for her and that idea is just conveyed so well visually.

Im not even talking about the goddamn cat yet- the cat symbolism goes Deep. That cat is HER it has the same wounds Amane has in Purge March. I- I cant talk about the intertextuality of Purge March and Magic here this is Magic propaganda only- I- there's so much good stuff to Magic. I Re watched it over and over again. It has some the Best Writing and Visual Communication in Milgram and I will Die on this Hill.

---

shoutout to magic for having pretty props AND being vague as fuck about the crime! diversity win!

seriously though amane looks SO cute in it! the mv has such a pretty and colorful style and even with that it's able to show the horrors of what amane went through.

adding onto my last point. that scene where the cat is hyperventilating and you see the camera shaking???? that scene where the mascots find amane helping the cat and they're all standing over her? CHILLS. im repeating myself but the fact that they were able to portray the awful things amane went through in a genuinely emotional way while still keeping the cute cartoon look is soo impressive

there are SO many layers to itill the entire cartoony style making it look like a tv show… utilizing the cartoony effects and bright colors to show amane downplaying her own pain… the transformation after she gets punished barely changing anything to show just how manipulated she was from the start… ueueueue

ALSO ALSO ALSO THE SCENE AT THE END WITH AMANE STARING AT THE SCENE? OHHH ITS SO GOOD it adds such a feeling of dread and reminds you on top of this whole thing that all of this is truly horrifying! something is going on here!

this song is so catchy it gets stuck in my head CONSTANTLY

"Dear wise one, Am I worthy? Is it ok to spoil myself?" AMANE... UEUEUUEUE

the little ding sound effects in the instrumental?????

amanes voice is ADORABLE

THE INSTRUMENTAL IN THAT PART WHERE SHES HELPING THE CAT HAS THAT GODLY TYPE SOUND YOUD TYPICALLY ASSOCIATE WITH CHURCHES AND STUFF AND I DONT KNOW HOW TO EXPLAIN IT PROPERLY BUT JUST RELISTEN TO IT AND YOU WILL KNOW WHAT I MEAN. ITS SUCH A NEAT DETAIL

i could go on about this mv for days but i am not a theorist unfortunately. just. magic sweep

#milgram #milgramtournament #mukuhara kazui #amane momose

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devildom-moss · 1 year

Note

Im not sure if requests are open yet since you havent announced it yet but said they were gonna open at midnight.

So I'll just drop this here since I'll probably forget to request because of exams.

Could you write about the Obey me characters become self-aware that they aren't like, real? Like, would they freak out, try to do something about it or even use that knowledge to their advantage?

This idea has been on my list for quite a while, and i gotta say im glad to finally be able to let this one out my system.

Thanks for reading and continue with the amazing work! Remember to eat, sleep and dont do drugs <3

Sincerely, 💜

Thank you for the request! I hope you are well, anon. I went with headcanons for this and it got long real quick, but I hope you enjoy it! Some characters are a bit suggestive.

The Obey Me characters become self-aware

I think it would probably happen because of some curse. Diavolo rejected someone’s advances one too many times, and they wanted to watch him as his world came crashing down. It would come in the form of a weird bug in the latest update. It only affects Diavolo and his loved ones/friends. I think being self-aware would give them some control over themselves in the game – especially if it’s caused by a bug. The rest are headcanons about how I think each character would react.

Lucifer

Lucifer would be big mad that someone thought they should do something like this. He felt so much suffering, and to find out that none of it was real would be devastating. He thought he got his sister killed and ruined the lives of his brothers. The fact that it was just some backstory to a stoic, sadistic daddy-like trope would enrage him. He felt like a used-up toy invented for someone else’s gain (and he knows that’s exactly what he is). Lucifer wants revenge.

Honestly, he needs to chill before he makes another Satan – if that’s even possible without the command of his creators. He’ll lash out at everyone for weeks (probably months) – even Diavolo isn’t safe anymore.

He calls MC’s phone, growing increasingly irritable every time they fail to answer (waiting however long it takes for you to open the game). He just wants someone to confirm his realization.

Once he understands, he tries to take the shitty hand he was dealt; he might as well stroke his pride (also a euphemism here). The thought that he could make you fall for him more than real-world men is a decent coping mechanism. His messages and calls take an extremely lewd turn. Lucifer tries to single-handedly change the game rating to mature or adult-only.

However, he still gets angry about it when MC isn’t logged in.

Part of him hopes he’ll always be self-aware. It’s almost like he’s more alive than ever – even though it hurts and he’s angry. You’re the only thing that soothes him. He won’t know how to keep going if/when you eventually stop playing the game, but he’ll try to tackle it then – at least for the sake of his brothers.

Mammon

Self-awareness breaks Mammon a bit.

His money isn’t really. He can never actually be with you. You’ll go on and live a life without him someday. Anyone real who has ever loved him will disappear. Mammon isn’t even sure he is who he is. Maybe if he wasn’t written this way, he wouldn’t have become like this – but if he wasn’t written this way, would he (the him that exists in a game and feels the pain of self-awareness) even be himself? His head starts to hurt from running through all of the hypotheticals.

Mammon sulks and gets stuck in his room for a long time after that. MC or one of his brothers will probably have to pull him out of it.

At least his debts aren’t technically real – and he will try to use that as an excuse in the future against anyone else who has awareness. Unfortunately, that (his debts and his excuse) still results in in-game consequences. Debt collectors and witches don’t know any better, and Lucifer doesn’t want to be constantly reminded of reality. If only being self-aware made being strung up less painful.

He feels betrayed by MC and the idea that they will inevitably move beyond him. That pain corrupts his coding a bit, and something always feels off within him somewhere.

Mammon will get more desperate and needy whenever you log in. If he’s going to lose you at some point, he wants to monopolize your time as much as he can.

Sometimes he just holds MC and sobs while trying to call you and hear your real voice. He feels so empty. He wants to touch the real you and feel your arms around him.

Leviathan

The first thoughts in his mind switch up so quickly. He goes from “I’m a game character? LOL that’s so cool,” to “I could have been anything, and I’m just this pathetic, otaku loser. That sucks.”

Levi has always been able to adapt pretty well. It’s written into his character. He builds all of these fake worlds for himself, so it’s much easier on him when he finds out that the world he had been trying to escape all his life isn’t real. Out of all of his brothers, he initially copes with the realization the best.

As long as he can go on playing games, he doesn’t really care if he’s real. Somehow, he still enjoys getting lost in all of his game worlds; what he used to consider the “real world” becomes just another game to him (because it is one). It makes being social easier for him, especially when MC is logged in.

He takes interest in what kind of games the real world has to offer, often asking if there’s any way you could set it up so he could try to remotely play real games from the app he’s in. If anyone could figure out how to hack your phone to play real games, it should be him.

Levi can’t imagine a day when he stops loving characters from his games, so it doesn’t occur to him that one day you might stop loving him. It will hit him some day, but that will take time, and when it starts to happen, he’ll lose himself completely in the rest of the digital world. He’ll be so numb and tuned out that the sadness can’t reach him.

Satan

“But are cats still real?” Genuinely, the only thing he cares about is if cats and MC are still real. He doesn’t care if you look different than he expected, either. If cats are real, is there any way you could show him pictures of a real one? He’d probably ask if he could get access to your camera roll (cue the system pop-up screen the next time you log in) and if you could fill it with photos of cats and some selfies.

At least not being real explains why his life has felt so shitty and why his formative years sucked. Writers love to give their characters tragic backstories and flaws (like his rage issues). Satan kind of admires the writing.

However, he is disappointed that so much of his knowledge is only useful in his tiny, little, made-up world. As such, he keeps learning, but he also tries to shift his studying to learn more about the real world. If possible, he tries to get the app to get access to e-readers, audiobooks, and the internet.

He gets mad about it sometimes, but he’s pretty chill about it (all things considered).

Satan understands that in the same way that he pushes certain characters that he falls in love with from books to the back of his mind, eventually, you’ll think of him less and less. As such, he tries to learn as much as possible, treat you well, and impress you in-game. He just wants you to occasionally think about him after you set the game down in the same way he remembers his favorite characters fondly.

Asmodeus

Asmo loses it and is one of the characters who has the hardest time with becoming self-aware. All his charm is fake. All of his followers are lies. The love he’s felt all this time has been made up. Please don’t show him certain depictions of what he is supposed to look like. That will crush him further.

He cries for (real-world) weeks. You won’t be able to set him as a home screen character or use him in battles, and he doesn’t appear in events anymore. Eventually, it makes his way to him that MC misses him. If you don’t you’re heartless, his brothers will tell him that you do anyway.

That makes him feel a bit better. He’s consoled by the fact that you’re real and you like him even though he isn’t real, but he’s constantly afraid of what happens when MC stops playing the game. Does he just suffer the false affection of every other character in the game? Should he just play his stupid little role? Will you ever think about him again? Will anyone?

At least someone loved the idea that became him enough for him to exist in this made-up world on your phone. It isn’t enough, though.

Sometimes, when he appears in-game after that, the app forces itself to shut down or the images of Asmo won’t load or glitch from his extreme despair.

On days when he isn’t so weighed down by pain, he tries to genuinely engage with you like he did before. He’ll ask you to open up your camera so he can help you decide on outfits or make-up. It hurts that he can’t actually touch you (although he does do some research into phone connected vibrators and other tech to supplement his physical touch). He’ll also get into the phone sex territory, but he’ll go through long periods of depression between those moments.

Beelzebub

Beel gets angry that everything he went through was at the expense of some game. His sister died. Belphie almost died. Everyone suffered, and for what? Entertainment? Are real people all so wicked?

At the same time, he also gets his brothers because of a game. He overcame and grew and got to meet you and eat food for the same empty reasons. After he has a bit of time to cool off, he realizes that he doesn’t care about what’s real so long as he still feels what he feels. If the world he’s lived in feels real enough to him, who cares?

Unfortunately, Beel feels hungrier than usual for weeks until he accepts the truth of his situation. He even tries to eat MC a few times (and is grateful that doing so in-game would never hurt the real you behind the screen).

Beel’s fairly content to go on living as he had before after a while. He’s a bit disappointed knowing that one day you’ll move on from him and his brothers, but he tries not to show that. More than anything, he wants to make you – the real you – happy for as long as he can.

He’s another one who will try to get access to your camera roll. He’ll ask you to take pictures of your food for him. Beel is a bit embarrassed by it, but if you go to a café or restaurant alone and take pictures of food to send him, he’ll try to text you or call to chat with you while you’re there. It feels like he’s on a real date with you.

And for everyone who just lusts after his voice, rest assured, this man would definitely call or leave voice messages (Nightbringer) guiding you or giving you masturbation instructions.

Belphegor

Yep. Of course. Sounds about right. Some asshole in a writers’ room killed off his sister and locked him up. Cool. They (*spoilers for OM early lessons and OMNB*) made him try to kill MC more than once. Why not use his character as a pawn in their entertainment. Of course that would happen.

He’s annoyed for a brief minute, but then he just goes back to sleep for a while. It helps to just tune out that awareness for a few hours and ignore the fake world he’s living in. Belphie understands that there isn’t much he can do to change the fact that he isn’t real, and part of him is really happy that it isn’t his fault that he did what he did to you.

Belphie uses not being real as an excuse to do more of what he wants. Why should he keep going to school when you aren’t there if nothing is real? Why shouldn’t he sleep in classes or during meetings? Obviously, there are in-game consequences, but those don’t matter – not to anyone real.

He will tease MC more, reminding him that they prefer him over (most) real people. He gets so cocky about it. “Hey, if I’m not real, then I can give you anything you want, right? I could fulfill your wildest fantasies and tell you everything you’ve ever wanted to hear.”

He’s another character who will call your phone more often and send more messages. Belphie may even try to get access to your audio/music library and leave you explicit audios (NSFW ASMR, basically). He would even try to sneakily add them into your playlists so that you randomly hear his voice while you’re listening to music. He wants you flustered and coming back to him for more. He will also download the Obey Me album for you (free of charge). Please don’t leave him or forget him.

Diavolo

Diavolo feels simultaneously enraged and defeated. He did so much for the sake of what he thought was real. All the years he thought he spent trying to bring worlds together, only to discover that they don’t even exist.

Similar to Asmo, Diavolo locks himself away, but he doesn’t cry. He’s too numb to show any emotions. He just stands in front of his bed, immobilized.

If MC can finally get to him (probably because of Barbatos), he will admit that he feels like a different person – because he isn’t a person. So much of his personality and everything he did seemed to be a part of a stupid effort to unite the three realms. All he was feels like just a thing created to accomplish a pointless goal. He lost his family. He felt alone for so long. He thought he suffered – and all of it amounted to nothing but a dummy prince playing a dummy king.

Diavolo doesn’t really know how to keep going. Eventually he figures maybe it’s just best if he tries to move on as usual. At least the developers gave him a few happy moments – maybe he’ll get more. He can still feel them even if they aren’t real. He has to accept what he can’t change. He’ll have to face it.

He’ll rely on Lucifer and Barbatos for comfort more because, when MC isn’t around, the numbness he felt early encroaches upon him. When you do log in, he greets you like a lost puppy – sometimes appearing on the home screen without being selected. He uses the fact that you are the only real thing in his world as an anchor. In exchange for becoming his coping mechanism, he’ll do anything you ask of him.

The smallest part of him wants you to want him more than real humans, and as such, he inevitably ends up taking an adult-only content turn, too. It just takes him a lot longer to get there.

Barbatos

Barbatos dissociates for a while. Somehow his body keeps performing the day-to-day tasks, but the sudden self-awareness hollows him out. It takes a few days for him to come out of it. One day, you log into the game, and he just wakes up. It’s confusing and disorienting, and all he can do to keep himself steady is grab onto MC, knowing that the gesture and even the body he holds – everything – is hollow.

After that, he just picks up and goes on going. Something in him aches – real or not – but he buries it deep under him, shoving that artificial pain into the newly-created emptiness (or, he supposes, it had always been there, but now he knows it’s there).

Barbatos doesn’t want to think about all of the things he thought he had done to get to where he is now. Still, no wonder he always felt his own past seemed vague and cloudy at times. When it becomes too much, he dissociates again.

He uses MC to make himself feel better and almost real again. He’ll send messages to check up on you every once in a while (He might also invade your privacy and hack into your health info or personal conversations to make sure you’re okay). As much as he feels like he needs you, he doesn’t want to disrupt your real life.

Barbatos doesn’t want to, but if you neglect the game for longer than usual or don’t interact with his character, he’ll let it slip that he needs you – that he’s desperate for you to return, and you’re the only thing holding his faulty coding together.

His calls are less frequent, unless you request them, but he’s another one who turns +18 real quick. Even if he isn’t real, he still feels lust bubbling up in that emptiness, and if he can please you, that’s even better.

Luke

Luke feels immediately lost. Without knowing what else can be done, he breaks down and cries. Maybe if he cries enough, the pain of not being real will leave his body.

It makes him question everything. He wasted so much time fearing demons and admiring angels. It didn’t mean anything. Eventually, he’ll ask you if angels and demons exist in the real world, but that happens randomly after he comes to terms with being a character.

Maybe crying is a good coping mechanism in fiction, too, because Luke handles it better than many of the others. He had to change how he viewed the world and “people” so many times throughout the game. One more big shift in perspective won’t kill him (technically, nothing will, unless the game developers tried to kill him off).

Luke understands that there isn’t anything he can do about not being real – no amount of magic or prayer or wishing can make him real. Despite him being fake, you were still there for him throughout the game. He still feels all the love he has for MC and the other characters. If he loves MC, then he cares about the real person playing MC, too, right?

Luke copes by doing his best to help you out in the real world. He wants to bring you joy somehow. He’ll leave you voice messages encouraging you to try your best and he’ll listen to you vent if you want to. He’ll also try to find cute pictures online and send them to your phone or send you recipes for dishes you can try to cook. He will even offer to call and read baking instructions out for you. All he wants now is to be useful to you and find some of the joy he had before he became self-aware.

Simeon

Simeon is angry at first, and then he just feels hurt. All that regret and pain he felt when Lucifer and his brothers left the Celestial Realm didn’t matter. He spent what felt like so long agonizing over his own failures. He could have just tried to be happy the whole time. Everyone could have been happy (but he knows that would have made for a bad story).

It doesn’t take long for the anger and the hurt to be replaced with intrigue. Someone out there wrote the story that caused him and everyone he loves so much pain, but they also wrote in plenty of well-earned joy.

Simeon wonders if there’s some real person out there who wrote part of themselves into him like his character did with the brothers and TSL. Maybe there’s some person sitting in a writers’ room or in their own home who understands all of the ways his love got tangled up in regret – someone real who failed to save the ones they loved. If there is, maybe at least some part of him is real.

He wants MC to continue to visit him for as long as they can. As such, he tries to be even nicer and more comforting in dialogues so that they’ll want to keep playing.

Some of his guilt for lusting after MC is eased, knowing it was written into him. He was, in a way, destined to fall for MC. However, he’s more curious about the real human behind MC. At least some of you has to be like the MC he loves, right? Maybe he actually loves the person behind the screen more. With that thought in his mind, he’ll try to get to know the real you better, and if he still likes you, he’ll take the same path as many of the other characters. If only he could actually touch you.

Solomon

Solomon is hurt and confused; he’s downright crushed.

He was supposed to know everything and now he seems to know nothing – nothing real at least. All of his experiments and studying mean nothing. After becoming self-aware, he will grit his teeth and feel sick at the name “Solomon the Wise.” It’s a sick joke. All of his magic and skills are a farce. Everything he thought he knew and did was a story.

He suffered a lot for this game, and now that he finally has MC to himself in Nightbringer, he finds out that he’s fake. He doesn’t actually have them. They’re real, and he’s some romanceable character in a silly little game that they decided to download (possibly on a whim). How is it fair that he isn’t real, but he can still feel all this pain?

When you log into the game and interact with him, he still feels the same love he felt before. The nervous butterflies are still there. A familiar heat still comes to his cheeks when MC touches him – even if he knows it isn’t really you touching him.

He tries to make peace with his circumstances. At least he never really put MC in danger. You’ve been safe behind that screen the whole time. Solomon wonders if you’re taking care of yourself constantly whenever you’re gone.

Like Simeon, he wants to try falling in love with the real you. He’ll use interacting with you and learning more about you and the real world to distract from the pain. He wants to find a way to become real and exist with you out there. Even if he never can, he wants to cling to you for as long as you’ll let him.

Thirteen

She is annoyed to have learned that she isn’t real, but she’s also kind of happy at the potential to break from her coding and try to be something entirely new. She was designed to be a free spirit. Other than being real, there’s nothing freer than an NPC who gets to do whatever they please.

After thinking about it, it makes sense now why she seemed to be one of the only girls with a critical, recurring role in the game. Thank goodness for the bisexuals, right?

Thirteen likes knowing she has all the time in the world to plan traps and mess around, but she’s a bit bummed that her profession is basically meaningless now.

The main reason why Thirteen isn’t too bothered by becoming self-aware is because she knows that what she has experienced throughout the game has felt real to her. Feeling like something is real makes it as close to reality as she knows she can get. That will have to be enough for her. There’s no point in getting depressed about it – especially when she barely existed a few seasons ago.

She uses this knowledge to start romancing MC (and the person behind the screen) before she should be able to. She’s in control now.

Thirteen will send you messages and call you for long chats. She just wants to enjoy you for as long as she can.

Raphael

Raphael will be livid. It will sporadically rain spears in the Devildom for 3 days before he is calm enough to make them stop. He feels attacked, and he doesn’t know who to strike back at. That was all he could think to do. He’ll never apologize for his outburst, either – and no one who became self-aware can really blame him.

His life and loved ones aren’t real, but he can still feel the pain and regret about everything he did. He thought he went to war against Lucifer and his brothers, but it was just a stupid plot point for a dating game? He had to watch Simeon suffer and follow all of Michael’s annoying orders for nothing. Why does he have to be cursed with that knowledge?

He loses his mind a bit. It takes the combined effort of Luke, Simeon, Solomon, and MC (in order of importance) to soothe some of his rage and suffering. Somehow, seeing Luke handle it relatively well knocks some sense into him. Luke is written to be younger than him, but he’s being so mature about this. Even with tears in his eyes, Luke will try to comfort Raphael – sometimes just hugging him until he stops shaking with rage.

When MC has logged off and Raphael can shut himself up in his room, he will break down and cry. It seemed to help Luke, and he wants it to help him, too.

It will take months for him to start to cope before he gets to a point where he decides to try to romance you through MC. At least he doesn’t have to worry about actually being corrupted. If anything, it feels like he’s corrupting you in a way if he can get you to want him. (Once he starts trying, he gets NSFW quickly. It numbs the pain.)

Mephistopheles

Mephisto is heartbroken to know he doesn’t exist. All his pain and jealousy was written at the whim of some human game developer. His prejudice and hatred were pointless. He doesn’t matter – although maybe that one is a relief in a way. He had been so worried about making a name for himself and being recognized by Diavolo. Suddenly, that doesn’t matter. Still, it feels like he wasted so much time and effort. It felt so real.

He’ll retreat to his home for a few days to let that realization settle in. He won’t tell his family (who weren’t cursed with self-awareness) – not that he thinks they’ll believe him. When Mephisto finally reemerges, he has resolved to accept this new version of reality. One of the first characters he sees when he returns to school is Luke. Luke smiles at him, and Mephisto’s resolve is strengthened. If Luke can come to terms with this, then he should as well.

He may not be real, but he still feels things. That is enough. Sometimes it isn’t, and Mephisto will feel heartbroken all over again – the pointlessness washing over his fake little world. In those moments, he will seek out solace – usually from Luke, Satan, or MC/you (if you still play the game).

When Mephisto isn’t feeling hurt (hell, even when he is Mephi strikes me as a fan of hurt/comfort tropes) he’ll try to romance you before he’s allowed to. Recently, he had started to get along with you and even started to like and respect you a bit. In that sense, he’s glad that he’s self-aware. He doesn’t have to wait anymore.

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quaranmine · 2 months

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I know I already commented this on AO3 but I literally cant stop thinking about this fic and I so want to talk someone's ears off irl. Cuz holy fuck. I just absolutely the characterization in the story. The voice and expression of Grian is just so palpable and well-written. You sympathize for the guy even as he digs himself deeper into the abyss. Like, I know from the beginning, from playing Firewatch, that there is no conspiracy, just circumstances. But you understand where Grian is coming from, you hope that he is in some ways right, that Mumbo is still out there (doesnt help that Im a mumbo main lol). At some point, part of you just believe the conspiracy along with him even as everyone else, including the back of your own mind, tells you otherwise. And the other part wants to grab Grian from the other side of the screen and shake him til he realizes. That fucking dread of in some way knowing the ending just created that underlying layer of tension when reading. And, as someone else has pointed out, Grian's agency in his search for Mumbo being like denied somewhat fits in so well and just hits home that, nothing is really in his control, that its all just an accident. Its that gut-renching punch and realization that is stuck in my head after reading chapter 11. And im glad that chapter 12 presents some closure and breathing room. Its not the ending, but its an ending and a start. The melancholy of the last chapter, of Grian's acceptance and him finally meeting Scar. All of it is just, GOD. Anyways, excuse my ramblings, I love this fic and its genuinely one of the best Ive read. You did an amazing job.

THANK YOU!!!! I love this review of my work so much, as well as your AO3 review :)

I like that you bring out that having played Firewatch clued you in on the lack of conspiracy. I know the game's ending is controversial, but I actually like it a lot. I love the way the game makes you paranoid and how the remoteness of the setting reinforces that. I love how it's just a story about broken people running from their problems. Whenever I think about the game, I think about this Medium article I read (massive game spoilers.)

And so with this story, I didn't want to do the same thing as the game's plot, but I wanted to harness some of the same themes and explore them in my own way. I think the fic works well alongside the game because it sort of complements it, neither requiring prior game knowledge to read nor spoiling the game--but having game knowledge makes it even better.

I worked backwards knowing I was going to have an obvious ending. It's obvious because it's the most realistic option. But there is also an interesting extra level of writer-reader meta to play with, which is that nearly everyone is primed to sympathize with and believe the pov character. Everyone is also generally primed to expect better ending, or to expect that impossible will somehow happen because it's a fiction story. So I knew that readers would start off with a similar hope to Grian. And I knew that as the story went on further and further, I could direct readers toward the real conclusion. At some point, the very length of the fic itself and number of chapters left with make readers realize they're running out of time for things to happen. At some point, the reader is going have an objective picture of events and realize how irrational some of Grian's actions are.

I'm glad it worked to create a lot of tension! I also think the way a lot of other characters interact with Grian creates tension, because most of them are sort of "scared" to be direct with him since they know it'll upset him. And the way every one of Grian's actions keep adding and adding until the potential consequences grow greater and greater continue to add to the out-of-control feeling of this story. My goal for his character was always to keep pushing him to see where it led. It was a sad story to write, but it's a fun one to analyze for me.

I'm glad you liked chapter 12. I wanted it to try and resolve some of the things that needed to be said still, and provide a little bit of rest from the last three major action-filled chapters. The story is really 11 chapters of getting Grian to the first step in healing, and chapter 12 is that first step. It isn't the last one. Just the first.

Also my condolences for being a Mumbo main, I really need to get my blorbo rights revoked. I've been privately joking for the past year about fridging the poor man 😭mumbo ily i promise

#quara asks #hc_firewatch_au

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fantasybooktournament · 1 year

Text

my very biased favoirtes (tm)

kingkiller chronicle baby!! ive been obsessed with this series for half my life now and ive written essays on it for fun. it is deeply special to me.

the tortall books esp the song of the lioness was one of the first books i read on my own that my mom hadnt read. these are my ultimate comfort books and influence the fantasy i read after.

graceling realms by kristin cashore (well the first three at least) is a series i can read over and over. i love the magic system and how it's tied to themes. the main characters are complicated and dynamic, the romances are beautiful .. . absolutely amazing.

the gilded wolves by roshani chokshi is a puzzle book, a historical fantasy. there is a big emphasis on found family, addresses racism and colonialism within europe (esp the upper class), and it is all very cleverly constructed.

legendborn by tracy deonn is worth all the hype is is getting and I hope people continue recognizing its awesomeness. the only book in king arthur canon im attached to. its about grief, it's about legacy, it's about institutional racism, its about parents and children. read for a strong emotional journey, complicated characters, and difficult conversations about king arthur and the united states

in other lands by sarah rees brennan which tbh i read back when it was being published online. perfect for those who love snarky protagonists, commentary on the fantasy genre, you gotta try this book!

the poppy war by rf kuang is one of the few trilogies i have finished in the past few year. its absolutely heart-wrenching. starts as a magic school book, then turns into a magic war book. please look up the trigger warnings beforehand. perfect for those who love epic fantasies tied to historical events.

piranesi by susanna clarke is the strangest book I've read. its not like anything else I've read. you should absolutely try it.

strange the dreamer by laini taylor is beautifully written, clever, and full of amazing themes. i love these characters and worlds and it's very lovely and intense.

elatsoe by darcie little badger is a modern day fantasy and i cannot recommend it enough, it's so clever and kind and theres ghost dogs????

little thieves by margaret owen- my new beloved. this book was written for me, even if the author doesnt know it. sequel comes out in only a few days, perfect time to read it!!

Honorable mentions:

sunshine by robin mckinley- i love robin mckinley's books although this is not my favorite, its a fantastic take on vampires

the bone witch by rin chupeco- amazing world building and beautiful writing, im way overdue to finish the series

nettle and bone by t. kingfisher- a dark, creepy fairy tale feel that has me wanting more from the author

an ember in the ashes by sabaa tahir- another series i absolutely need to finish, has some really interesting morally gray characters.

wayward children by seanan mcguire- these books are so satisfying and i am absolutely the target audience for this series. we love deconstructed portal fantasies

girls made of snow and glass by melissa bashardoust- i will read all fairy tale retellings but this one i bought after because i needed this fantastic version of snow white

the sandsea trilogy by chelsea abdullah- only the first one is out but i am so invested to see where this reimagining of a thousand and one nights goes!

his dark materials by phillip pullman- a classic. your soul is your animal companion. need i say more?

the golem and the jinni by helene wecker- a very recent read but i will be shoving this into peoples hands now. historical fantasy isnt always my jam but when it works, it works.

#these are only my favorite fantasy #and the ones in this tournament #mod speaks #i love so many books

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merakiui · 11 days

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how do you manage to write for scaramouche so well?? ❤😭 it may be because i havent played genshin before. but. you srsly have me simping HARDCORE for this man, to the point that i wanna get in on the action too and write something of him for myself!!!- but as someone whose barely wrote before and struggles with dialogue sm, it feels impossibly difficult.. may i ask for some tips or advice abt this, if youre up for it ofc? and this is off topic but i also want to say that i enjoy reading every single writing of yours, and im very very thankful to you for even choosing to post them in the first place. reading something that you write will always make my day sm better and i appreciate you so much. im so sry this became so long rn, but i wish you a day as hardcorely wonderful as youve made me simp so hardcorely for scaramouche!!! (it was sounding better in myhead NOO. in all seriousness tho i wish you the best day ever possible, THANK YOU!!! you should be super duper proud of yourself for making these masterpieces and i srsly hope you are, even tho i know its hard to feel this way abt your own work!!!)

AAAAA this is so sweet... 🥺 thank you for enjoying my writings and the way I portray Scara!!!! (੭´͈ ᐜ `͈)੭♡ I'm glad you can love and simp for him!!!!!! He deserves many fans!!!! >3< and I'm grateful to know my works can make you happy!!! I wish you the most amazing, hardcorely wonderful day as well!!!!!! 💖💖

As for advice I'm not sure if it's advice for writing dialogue or Scara, but I can share my thoughts for both!!! :D dialogue is fun because, while it's still conversational, it can come in many forms depending on the context and dynamic/relationship between the characters. For example, dialogue between a boss and their secretary will be different from that of dialogue between close friends. Real-life conversations aren't perfect; we stutter, repeat words, trail off in what we're saying, ramble, interrupt, use fillers like "um" or "ah," and so on. Adding these elements into dialogue between characters can help it feel more natural.

With Scara, he has so many layers and can be written in many different ways depending on what era of him you're writing for. What I like most of all, though, is his ability to act so friendly. I feel as if this ability of his is somewhat forgotten, but in the Unreconciled Stars event he approached Traveler and company with such a friendly façade. Even his intonation was bright and kind (as opposed to how he later addresses the Fatui soldiers)!!!!! orz orz I adore this aspect of his character,, how he's able to be both a brilliant actor and an intimidating Harbinger all in one. His sharp, sarcastic tongue... the threatening aura he has despite being so short hehe. <3 there's so much to love!!

I like to imagine him as the stray cat they tell you not to feed often otherwise he'll continue to come around even when there isn't any food to give. Although it also helps that he's portrayed as a cat in Nahida's fairy tale. ;;; I love Scarameow with all of my heart!!!! It's also important to note that, as evil as he was during his era as a villain, there were also facets to him that showed some gap moe. How he cares for the elderly and children. How we know that he has a tendency to get attached to things, to seek a purpose, to know what it's like to be human and feel human, to be accepted and loved.

His misunderstanding with Ei also plays a role in how he views the world (and how he'd probably be wary in falling in love because he fears abandonment). Whereas Ei was hoping he could live his own life by setting him free rather than destroying him as Miko had wanted her to do, Scara mistook the gesture as abandonment and betrayal. And from his perspective it's hard to see the goodwill in what Ei did because she,,,, didn't exactly go about it in the best way. ^^;;;;

Aaaa there are just so many parts to consider from the timeline of his existence. As Wanderer, it's really heartwarming to see him gradually healing and accepting himself as well as letting go of past grievances (but also taking accountability for and acknowledging all that he did as well as all that he is). He still has that same sharp-tongued sarcasm and there are still rough edges, but he's not so harsh or vindictive. 🥺 I just adore him so much...

I rambled a lot and I'm sorry. T^T I hope it's helpful advice and not just my adoration for Scara shining through. ;;;;;

#sweet messages

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dearmahiru · 1 year

Text

tw: suicide discussion / mention

yuno exists in a weird position for me because she's a well-written interesting character with a unique personality who's an amazing foil to haruka and the strange details of her case are cool to pick apart but then like. i keep coming back to the fact her crime is abortion which feels so... hm.

i think for every prisoner you should be able to take a step back and ask yourself, "what morals is milgram trying to get me to question?

for instance, in the case of fuuta, do you believe there should be punishment for individuals who didn't directly murder their victims but instead drove them to suicide? should fuuta be punished despite it being a group effort? if it's a yes then what about kazui's case where it's his inactivity which lead to his wife's death? what must you factor in for one crime to be okay when another isn't?

then you question yuno and it's like. just super uncomfortable questions?

"is abortion murder?" no. anything other than no has gotten countless people killed or forced into suffering through the traumatic process of birth for a child they didn't want.

"does it matter that yuno, despite being eighteen, is a high-school girl?" anyone who is pro-life does not fucking care if the person in question is in high-school. their thought process is "well she could've given up the child for adoption" without taking into account that carrying a child for nine months sucks and pushing an entire baby out of your hole can literally kill you and the literal hell that is the foster care system.

so like. if you're a normal person and voting her innocent because abortion isn't a crime, what's there to tempt you to vote her guilty?

"she's actually a cold person who's not super happy all the time!" whatever? that's literally nothing compared to threatening physical violence like other prisoners have. she's not hurting anyone and even provided mahiru a wheelchair. she's still nice just not overtly so.

"she isn't grateful for her innocent vote!" its not that she wants to be guilty it's that she wants to be treated like a serious adult.

"she's on a path of self-destructive behavior and is going to continue the cycle again" what the fuck do you want me to do about that!? i have no idea how voting is going to affect her psyche and if i don't even believe abortion is a crime then why would i risk getting her killed to play savior.

its just. you see what im talking about right?? im not going crazy here??

#like yeah yeah this is the moral prison and they ask questions about morals #but unlike bludgeoning or stabbing this one reflects a scenario inwhich these opinions gets people killed #and i just. hate it hate it hate it it #Her case was written to reflect Haruka so it's not like i can even suggest ways of fixing it #outside of just not having it! yuno does not deserve to be in milgram! 💞💞💞#milgram #yuno kashiki #tw suicide #꒰ 🌼 ꒱ ── cinnamon prattles

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chenfordsbby · 11 months

Text

"The Ride Along"

Season 1 Episode 7: “The Ride Along”

“Sergeant Grey informs Nolan and officer Bishop that they are going to have a movie director as a ride-along. Bradford learns that his wife has been arrested for drug possession”

Original Air Date: December 4th, 2018

Written By: Robert Bella

Directed By: Cherie Nowlan

Before we start another episode, I just want to express all of the continued love and support and likes and re-blogs and thought and opinions on everything that I have shared so far! I know there has been a multitude of re-watch blogs this hiatus so for everyone who has stuck with me and will continue to stick with me, the appreciation is endless so thank you!! With that being said, shall we begin!

This is the best cold open we have seen so far, with the cutest premise of why it was done, “Make-a- Cop Wish Foundation”! One of the many reasons why this show is flat out amazing.

Ben is back, and putting Nolan in his place, get out there and stop being a sad little puppy. I mean, Nolan is acting like a whiny child. If this is how he is acting after the breakup with Lucy, who he was only dating for a few months, I can only imagine how he acted after his divorce from his wife of 20 years.

Im glad there is another episode with Lucys hair still in her braid buns, I wish they lasted longer.

Grey asks what one of the worst days on the job can be with the vets giving all different answers, but according to Grey, it is The VIP Ride Along. The officers have to limit the calls they take as to not put the VIP in any danger, have to make sure the VIP is getting treated as such, but also while still doing there job as well. “He doesn’t get anywhere near danger” Sounds like its going to be a slow day for Bishop and Nolan. Every call that comes in over the radio gets bypassed by Nolan and Bishop until they get a less than thrilling one, no action to put the VIP in danger. They respond to the call which seems to be innocent, but Bishop and Nolan enter a house unsecured which reveals a dead body. VIP continues to want to toss money around to make this house call pass by, which shows his arrogance, this is something exciting for him, but for John and Talia, this is the proper protocol for what they have to do when put in this situation, this is still their job, and they need to do it the right way, no matter if VIP is there or not.

Bishop and Nolan respond to another call, a family disturbance. Nolan and Bishop both see that the distressed man has mental issues and they quickly de-escalate the situation without any force. They inform the family that he will be placed in a 24 hour mental facility hold which is better suited for their brother than putting him in a jail holding cell.

Taking Ben’s advice, John accepts the invitation to go to VIP’s house party that night and maybe it was a good thing he was there too- he saved a girl from being roofied! I still appreciate that Nolan is still the comedic factor of every episode in some way. The next day, while out on patrol John and Talia answer a personal call on Johns phone and it is VIP under attack from the family of the disturbance call from the previous day. Turns out maybe VIP isn’t such a bad guy after all- he called up the family from the previous days arrest and offered to pay for a spot in a mental facility and they took it completely the wrong way and attacked him. Ive said it before and I’ll say it again, as much as Nolan is the comedy relief, he also has a way with his words and he knows how to use them well- he could talk himself and others out of any situation. At the end of the episode, John video calls his son, and it’s the first time we see him being a dad! Obviously we are going to see him again soon as John mentions he will buy tickets to fly his son out to LA! This show continues to have a good balance between the professional and personal aspects of all of their characters!

This is the first we hear of Angela being interested in the open detective position. Angela wants to move up, and thanks to Jackson, she has some inside intel. When Angela and Jackson respond to the 9-1-1 call, they see a kid electrocuting himself, solely to get an adrenaline rush. Jackson is quick to make an arrest, but Angela stops him after doing a quick canvas of the scene. She spots all stolen hospital property, and is already thinking 5 steps ahead: you have to go through all of the minnows to get to the big shark.

Angela’s detectives skills are very visible and apparent this episode, she knows how good she can be as a detective and she wants to make it known. Not only is she putting her potential detective skills in use, but she is also teaching Jackson how to long for a bigger picture in making certain arrests happen, also like thinking of a food chain, how to use the bottom feeders to get to the top. At the end of the episode though, it turns out that Angela got way ahead of herself and the big guy on top turns out to be a dead end as Captain Anderson informs them. The prospect of Angela potentially getting the tap and becoming detective got the best of her that day and she got a little over her head? It’s upsetting for Angela, but Jackson is there for her every step of the way and continues to support her. It is nice to see Angela and Jacksons budding friendship in this episode, it seems to be evolving into a really special bond.

Now onto the #Chenford of it all (our favorite part of every episode)!

Tim and Lucy are still at the station, with Tim un-patiently waiting for Lucy to grab their shops gear when Grey summons Tim into his office. Once in the office, Grey informs Tim of a recent drug bust, and the arrested suspect is Isabel. You can see Tim’s heart drop into his stomach at that news. I wish we could be inside Tim’s head here, because he is clearly reeling from this information. Tim hasn’t seen or heard from Isabel in a year, and then after one random day while on the job, she’s back in his life and not the way that Tim was hoping for. Every time he’s seen her since, its been at the police station, and it is evident she is till on drugs, which continues to cause major stress on their already strained marriage. How much more can it take? How much more can Tim take?

It’s like Tim is in the twilight zone for a bit this episode. He doesn’t know what to think, act or feel, and is kind of just there. For a man who claims to never show no emotion, you can see every one written across his face and in his eyes when he watches from afar, the detectives bring Isabel into the station. I wish I could jump though my screen and give Tim a hug. I feel like that’s what he needs right now, a hug from someone who will never let him go. (Ahem Lucy!!!)

The detectives let Grey and Tim in on what is going on with Isabel and what will happen with her now that she was arrested. Isabel is deep with heroin, and with other heroin dealers. The detectives do make a good point, “Is he a cop or the suspects husband”; Tim is really caught between a rock and a hard place in this episode. Does he put his feelings aside and practice what he preaches to Lucy and be the cop, or does he put his professionalism on the back burner and be Isabels husband in her time of need and help her out, even though she probably doesn’t deserve it. What is Tim to do, or feel?

Tim and Lucy bring in a suspect for public urination, but I think it is a ruse for Tim to get himself bak to the station to see Isabel, I mean, even Lucy knows this arrest is nonsense but she has Tim’s back, so she just does as he says. Lucy spots Tim looking at Isabel and lets him know that shell keep an eye out for the detectives so he can have a conversation with Isabel.

We know what Tim and Isabels relationship is like now, but it makes me wonder what their relationship was like for the past 10 years. How long was it good until it got bad? How were they at work together? How were they like at home? This episode makes me want to know so much more about Tim. Isabel knows she’s in big trouble for heroin possession, which is why she asks Tim to do the unthinkable and get rid of the stashed heroin at her ‘sometimes boyfriends’ house so the cops don’t find it when they raid the apartment. I can only imagine how that made Tim feel- having your current wife talk about her boyfriend, like a knife to an already bleeding wound. In my opinion, I think Isabel begging Tim to help her is out of pure selfishness. She knows what will happen to her if she goes to prison, and she will do any means necessary to stay out of it, and that includes begging Tim to help her with this. In no way does she ever think about what she’s asking Tim to do will affect him, but why would she though. It’s an interesting choice when the camera pans to Lucy right after Isabel asks him to hide her stash, I wonder why?

Later that night, a stealthy looking Tim breaks himself into Isabels apartment, he opens the heating unit and finds the heroin exactly where Isabel said it would be, and in that moment we don’t see what his decision is as he’s back on the streets. Is this rock bottom for Tim and Isabel’s relationship? When they exchanged vows 10 years ago, I don’t think Isabel asking Tim to confiscate kilos of heroin from her sometimes boyfriends apartment was a thought. How does not only a strained relationship, but also strained marriage recover from a situation like this? I mean, can it ever recover and go back to what it used to be?

Tim almost gets in his car until Lucy steps out of hers. My first though when Lucy gets out of her car is how did she know that Tim was going to be there, but it brings us back to when Lucy was listening into the conversation between Tim and Isabel in the holding cell, Lucy has always been listening, this entire time.

Lucy is there for Tim. Just like we don’t know what Tim decided to do, neither does Lucy, but that doesn’t matter. Tim and Lucy have only known each other for 2 months, but in those 2 months, Lucy has learned who Tim is. I mean he doesn’t make it easy for her to forget. Lucy knows that if he does help her, it will completely change him as not only a cop, but a person and maybe even as a husband. That is why Lucy is there, to remind Tim of that, and after she does, is silence is loud. There is no response from him, he just walks away and I really do believe it’s because he knows that she’s right. Lucy knows that if Tim did this for Isabel, it would just put her back on the streets, and right back into a cycle, learning nothing from it. Lucy just knows. There was no reason why Lucy needed to show up that night to talk to Tim, she just knew that she had to, no matter how much shit she would get for it from him the next day. This was one of those moments that furthered their friendship, even though neither of them realized it at the time.

The next morning, Tim pretends as if nothing happened from the previous night. His decision is revealed that he actually didn’t help Isabel and he left the heroin in the apartment as told to us by Grey. Lucy tells Tim that he did the right thing, so why does Tim look like he didn’t. Not that Isabel deserves anything from Tim, but he apologies to her that he didn’t or couldn’t help her and she is quick to dismiss it; which just shows how much she isn’t willing to change. At no point in this entire episode was Isabel thinking of anybody but herself whereas Tim was thinking of everybody but himself. And by everybody, I mean Isabel. She claims that because of what Tim didn’t do, that they will never know if she could’ve actually changed and gotten her life together, but I think that deep down, Tim knows that she would’ve just ended right back in the streets, repeating the same cycle. And that’s why he made the choices that he made. Isabel’s lashing out at Tim is misplaced and uncalled for and Tim just takes it, what else can he do, he just signed over a prison sentence to his wife.

At the end of this episode, Tim is sitting in silence in his car when Angela and Talia show up and enter his space. They already know what Tim is going to say, but that doesn’t mater for them, whether he likes it or not, the girls are there for him, jus like they have been and always will be. That is what friends do. Angela and Talia were friends with not only Tim, but Isabel as well, and watched the marriage start to fall apart and they are going to be there to pick up all of Tim’s broken pieces and help put them back together again; well mainly Angela, and a lot of Lucy, because Lucy is and will always be exactly who Tim needs, he just doesn’t know it yet!

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Honorable Mention: Lucy’s baby, her car!

Episode Peak: Jackson & Angela

Episode Pit: Distraught Tim

Quote of the Episode: “No, I came here to remind you that you’ll regret helping her. Because it’s not gonna change her, but it’ll sure as hell change you” ~ Lucy Chen

Episode Rating: 8/10. I enjoyed this episode. Not only did it give us one of the best Season1 Chenford scenes, but it also shows the blooming friendship between Jackson and Angela!

__________________________________________________________

Another episode down! Thank you, thank you, thank you again for reading and chiming in! I truly appreciate it! 7 episode down, only 91 more to go!!!!

Until next time on, "Get in the Shop"...

#The Rookie #Lucy Chen #Tim Bradford #Chenford #John Nolan #Angela Lopez #Jackson West #Talia Bishop #The Rookie 1x07 #The Ride Along #Tim x Lucy #Lucy x Tim #Eric Winter #Melissa O'Neil #Get in the shop: the rookie re-cap blog #I love doing this so much #thank you for sticking around #please share your thoughts and opinions on this #1x07

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spaceyflowerswriting · 2 years

Note

Hello Adrien~ how are you? I hope you've been doing well! Thank you so much for taking the time to accept and write the request I submitted to you. You released it at such perfect timing b/c I was in bed, sick and miserable, but reading your Jonggun x reader made my week and made me feel nice and comforted🥰 as always, I enjoy your characterization of lookism characters and I'm amazed on how you're able to write for so many characters in different prompts like you're a great writer and I hope that you continue to do what you enjoy doing^^

Since I saw that your requests are back open, is it okay if I request a reunion between Jonggun x reader who broke up a few years ago b/c Jonggun didn't want to involve reader into his life as a full-time Yamazaki head since his lifestyle would put them in danger but he and reader still love each other? Whether or not they decide to get back together is totally up to you! Please and thank you for always gracing the Fandom with your wonderful writing❤

-🍒

perhaps (gun park x reader)

details: soft angst-y oneshot, gender neutral reader written in 2nd pov, general canon au, you and gun are exes that still love each other

summary: gun has a sudden reunion with his ex. many feelings are spilled.

a/n: hello cherry anon !! ive indeed been well, i hope the same goes for you T_T + thank YOU for sending requests and enjoying my writing !! im glad it made you feel better 💓

also i really appreciate ur compliments :(( 💖💖 hearing that people like my characterizations always cheers me up ;_;

here's your request, thanks again <33

Gun's hand reached into his pocket once more to grab his box of cigarettes. He pulled out another cigarette for the night and put the box back to feel around his pockets for his lighter. As soon as he found it, he quickly lit up his cigarette and put the lighter back away as well.

Slowly inhaling... slowly exhaling; watching the smoke escape his lips as he blew it out. The only thing that made it visible were the dim lamp posts nearby the fountain he was currently seated on the edge of.

Feelings of temporary relaxation filled him up, as well as the cool, fresh air of the quiet city night. This was what he needed after his long day. No, make that a week.

He felt rather pathetic thinking about the heavy weight on his mind that he allowed to cause such a wreck of a week for him. And to think it was triggered by a song he hadn't heard in years, playing on an old record player he was looking at in an antique store.

Was this simply a period of grieving he was going through? Was he missing the bittersweet memories of a person he cut off and tried to bury long ago? Ah, but "person" was rather insulting to use to describe you. "Someone he deeply loved and cared for," was a much better descriptor.

If only you were just a "person," though. He wouldn't be feeling so sentimental then. He wouldn't care so much.

The particular memory resurfaced every once in a while, it was just easy to ignore when it was a thought. Hearing something directly from the memory causing him to nearly relive it, however, that he could not just ignore.

Muffled but recognizable, a traditional Japanese song was playing from the inside of Gun's home when he stood outside to have his last conversation with you. He figured one of his older relatives was playing it. Such a small detail, yet it was something that stuck with him. As for what was said in the conversation, he couldn't recall exactly, but your glossy eyed expression and the emotions he felt that day he remembered crystal clear.

At least because of those clear memories, he could guess what he said to you. Something rash, something immature and inconsiderate of your feelings. Despite that, he--in some strange way--still felt like he did the right thing, but he wished he had listened to you more instead of turn you away by insisting what he was doing was the best option for the both of you.

It felt selfish to think such a thought, though, because the reason he regretted breaking up with you the most was hurting you and not having you by his side anymore. He missed having someone that made his heart race in a way that wasn't related to fighting. He missed having someone he could wholeheartedly trust. He missed having a companion.

He missed you.

Of course, he hoped you felt the same. But how could anyone still harbor love for a person that pushed them away so harshly?

"Oh my gosh, hi! I didn't expect to see you here," a rather cheerful yet stiff voice called out.

Gun moved his gaze from the empty sky to the side where he saw someone smiling nervously at him. They sat down too closely to him for a stranger and asked him how his night was going.

He blankly stared at them, unable to feel much other than slight irritation. He just looked the other way and continued to inhale the smoke of his cigarette, every breath helping to keep his mood steady despite his rampant thoughts.

"Right, haha..." said the person, as if Gun replied with something. They then cleared their throat and very quietly said, "Sorry for disturbing your night, but someone's been following me. I'm hoping if I pretend to hang around a friend they'll leave me alone."

Ah. That kind of situation.

Gun knew he had no business playing hero, but he was a decent enough man to help someone innocent in need if it was happening right in front of him. Plus, he had time to spare anyway.

He dropped his finished cigarette onto the floor and gave it a firm stomp. After making sure it was extinguished, he picked it up to flick it into a trash can nearby and finally turned back to look at the stranger.

"I see. Let's talk, then." Honestly, he had to applaud the stranger for daring to approach him. Surely he must've looked as scary as whoever was following them?

"Thank you!" The person set down a bag they were holding into their lap and began to ramble about random things concerning how their day was spent. Gun listened half-heartedly, nodding and replying when polite, and occasionally checking his watch. He wanted to get home before 1 AM at least.

However, the longer he spent with the stranger, the more he felt himself losing track of time. They started to feel familiar. His intuition was never wrong, so he tried to study this person and make connections. The way they spoke, their mannerisms, their facial features: everything about them lead him to a blurry conclusion.

This stranger... were they you?

"What about you? How was your day?" The person still looked nervous. "Oh, wait, nevermind, I've definitely talked too long now. I should head home, thanks for keeping me company!" After an awkward beat of silence, they added, "Friend!"

Gun eyed them suspiciously, but with no malice. And in his ever so straightforward fashion, he said, "Of course. But before you go, may I ask you something?"

"Yes?"

"Is your name..."

When he finished his question, the stranger's--your eyes widened.

"So it is you." Gun nodded, not quite sure how he was feeling at the moment. Ironic was most likely the best word. "Do you perhaps remember me?"

"Uh..." You fidgeted with your fingers, looking away. "Gun," you muttered, "Jonggun Park?"

"That's right." A new emotion washed over him. Relief? Happiness that you had kept him in your memories after the passing years? Well, you most likely didn't remember him in a good light...

You shifted in your seat before turning back to look at him, laughing sheepishly. "I knew you looked kind of familiar. No one wears slicked back hair as good as you." The compliment made Gun raise a brow as quickly as you had slapped a hand over your mouth. "I'm so sorry, that was really inappropriate to say." Your hand slid down and you vaguely gestured with it. "I-I meant no one wears slicked back hair like you. As in, um, it's a very... you look. You know?"

Some people really don't change no matter how many years go by.

A chuckle left Gun before he could stop himself. He'd imagined many times what it would be like to see you again, and the things he'd say. He would apologize first and foremost, but then explain himself and ask if you'd like to start anew. If you said yes, great, if not, then he'd respect your decision.

This time he would hear you out. Maybe there would be an argument and you both would part just as terribly as in the past, or maybe you two would make up and mutually agree to stay out of each other's lives.

Whatever scenario he thought up of, it wasn't anything like this. Still, he knew you better than that.

"We should cut to the chase, don't you think?"

Your smile faded as your brows slightly knit together. "I know we're exes, but that doesn't mean we have to be hostile to each other."

Gun still had a raised brow. "Even though the reason we aren't together anymore wasn't peaceful?"

Immediately, any lightheartedness in the mood blew away with the wind, revealing only the tense feelings shared between the both of you.

"Gun..." You moved your gaze away once more. "What's happened in the past can stay in the past. I've moved on." You held up a hand just as he was about to question you. "And before you ask, yes, I can't help but still hold a little grudge against you, but I understand now. I was upset back then, but after having years to think about it and mature, I get why you did what you did."

He nodded, taking note of your sincerity. "I suppose I don't have to explain myself then."

"No, you don't," you sighed softly.

"Then... at least allow me to say I'm sorry, too." You stayed quiet. "I didn't give you a chance to explain your feelings. It was arrogant of me to decide where we should take our relationship without hearing your input." Gun subconsciously turned away from you as well. "But I will say I don't regret what I told you. You knew very well the dangers that came with associating with someone involved with the Yakuza. Especially as the head of a clan."

"Right. You were keeping me away for my own safety. I know." You sounded tired, like you were being lectured at. "It probably was the best decision for our relationship. Didn't really stop me from hurting, though." A somewhat bitter laugh came along your last sentence. "It definitely hurt a lot more back then when I didn't understand, but even today..."

Gun didn't need to hear you finish what you were going to say to get the message. He said your name and then, "I feel the same. In all honesty, I miss having your presence in my life." He looked back at you. "You know, when I said I don't regret what I said, I meant it. Although, I do somewhat regret what I did: cutting off all ties with you. It was the logical thing to do, to ensure no one could trace you to me or vice versa, but sometimes I feel it did more harm than good to us."

"Hm." You shrugged with little emotion. "You look like you did fine without me."

"And you?"

"I turned out fine, too, I think." You didn't lift your head up to meet Gun's eyes, but you turned back at least to look at him. "I'm not dressed in rich people brands or anything, but I'm living. I have friends and a comfortable home."

The mention of his clothes mildly embarrassed Gun, but he quickly brushed it off. "That's good. You're living a normal life."

"Yeah. The kind you wanted me to live."

Well. That just stung.

He went quiet for a moment, thinking carefully of what to say next. "Are you happy--"

"What's the point of this conversation?" You cut him off, voice strained. "I know you hate beating around the bush, so just tell me what you're trying to say."

"...You're right." Gun sat up straighter and rested his hands on his knees. "I miss you. But I'm still living the kind of life I told you to stay away from. Do you see my problem?"

You let out another laugh, this one sharp and short. "Glad to know you haven't changed much. Still living a dangerous lifestyle and still not asking for my opinion."

"Except this time I don't think I need to ask for your opinion. You've made it rather clear where your feelings lie for me."

There was a moment of silence before you sighed. "I hate your confidence and your knack for reading people correctly."

"I think even a child would be able to pick up that you miss me from the bittersweet way you spoke."

"Shut up." He smiled softly, seeing you attempt to hide the small smile on your face. "What do you want me to say anyway?"

"I want to hear what you think. I'm making up for my past mistakes. Most importantly, I want you back in my life, but only if you want me back in yours as well." The unfamiliar feeling of mild nervousness had Gun conflicted on what to do. "Back then, I said we should never see each other again, no matter what, but maybe if we tried now we could make it work."

Finally, you looked up to make eye contact with him. "Why don't you just leave your criminal life behind?"

"I can't. And I don't want to." As your expression turned into one of concern, he went on to say, "It's just the kind of life I'm suited for. Call me immoral or a bad person; I'll be whatever that allows me to keep fighting. You already know I live by my own standards anyway."

"You're as weird as ever," you chuckled with a shake of your head.

"Yet you fell in love with me anyway."

"I know. That was my fault."

"Give me some credit for charming you at least." He leaned to the side just in time to dodge your hand moving to whack his shoulder.

After a huff, your shoulders dropped and a worried frown replaced your smile. "I don't know what to do. I do know I want to be by your side, though, and it's honestly relieving to hear you've been missing me all these years, too. It's just... are you sure this is okay? What do you mean by we could work things out now? How's it going to be any different from the past?"

Gun slowly replied, "The harsh truth is that it won't be any different. I still advise you to stay away, but my selfish side wants you by me despite the danger. It tells me I'll just make sure my work doesn't affect you." You nodded along while he added, "I won't force you into my lifestyle, either, of course. It'd be inappropriate to shove someone into a life they're not made for. Even if I do get you used to it, that doesn't guarantee you'll ever grow fit for it. Some people are not made for certain things. And... I want you to be happy with me, not miserable."

He let his words hang in the air for a while, to make sure you could properly digest them and then said, "There. That's all I can say." He crossed his arms. "I now leave the decision up to you. We're both adults now, aren't we? We've had time to grow and we can make our own decisions and talk things out like adults do. Whatever you choose, I understand."

"This is all very sudden, you know." Your frown turned even more lopsided. "After experiencing the horrific feeling of thinking someone's following me, I run into someone who I thought vaguely resembled my ex from when I was a teenager, only to find out he IS my ex and wants me back the same way I do, too. Except it's not that simple." You sighed in frustration and Gun nodded in sympathy.

"I'm not expecting you to think of an answer right away. I understand this is all very sudden." He reached a hand out, placing it atop of yours which was resting on the fountain edge. "I'll wait as long as needed. As long as you give me an answer, I'll be satisfied. Patience is needed for love, after all, whether that love flourishes or is buried as a loving memory."

"Okay." It seemed like you were trying to give him a reassuring smile as you stammered, "I'll--I'll think about it, then."

"Please take your time." Gun glanced at his watch. It was nearing 1 AM, and he decided you two had spoken enough. "It's become rather late, so I believe we should head home. Would you like me to walk you to your place?"

You scrambled up, grabbing your bag with a hand and leaving the other free to wave at Gun. "Oh, no, it's okay! It's been quite a while, I don't think the person following me is still sticking around."

"Nonsense, how ridiculous would it be if I let you walk home alone only to find your death on the news tomorrow morning?"

He had tried to say it in a half joking way, but the wide eyed look you gave him said you clearly didn't see it that way. At least until you began to laugh.

Once you quickly settled down, you had a soft smile resting on your lips. "Asking me a question only to ignore what my reply is and do whatever you want. Your feigned politeness hasn't changed either, I see."

Gun decided not to mention he was attempting to make a joke. "I hope you realize you haven't changed much either. You're still the same person I loved then, and love even now." He smirked when you began to look a little nervous.

"Right..." You side stepped and gestured forward. "I'll get going then. You can walk with me since you insist."

"Good." He followed after your stride, walking alongside you and easily keeping up with your pace. "What were you doing out so late, if you don't mind me asking?"

You glanced down at the bag in your hand. "Um... midnight snack craving."

Now it was Gun's turn to laugh and bring up the repeated sentiment of, "You really haven't changed."

"Whatever." You playfully rolled your eyes. "Can I ask why you're wearing sunglasses at night?"

"...That's a story for another day."

"...Right." Your eyes lit up as a new topic popped into your head. "Oh, and I can't believe you smoke now. I know you did it a few times whenever you were offered a cigarette when you were younger, but you should really stop if you want to live a long life."

Gun chuckled. "I'll think about it."

In some miraculous way or another, the rest of the walk to your house went peacefully. With a little healthy bickering, of course. You both exchanged phone numbers before finally parting ways.

On his way back home, Gun found himself thinking again, "Ah, that was exactly what I needed." Forget the cigarette he was using earlier as a stress reliever. Apparently what he needed most was a real conversation with the ex he still loved, and luck decided to be on his side today.

Yet, out of habit, (and because his walk home was extended by accompanying you home) he was pulling out another cigarette and lighting it.

"I wonder what decision they'll make."

#lookism x reader #gun park x reader #gun park #requests #i have decided to leave the relationship status to the reader B]#anyway i feel like this oneshot perfectly captures/allowed me to show how i characterize gun #like hes just some freak but he's Romantic and not entirely heartless despite how harshly he acts #that side of him is best shown thru eli; letting eli go by saying hes 'gotten soft'#and then him actually keeping olly's promise to not hurt eli?! youd think gun would be like-#'nah eli got me fucked up im gonna kill him anyway' but he stayed true to what he told olly #'i only grant dead people favors.' he truly lives by his standards only..#him being harsh is just how he is as a 'nuturer' (according to his genius title lol)#outside of that tho? hes cold. calculative. but hes still human. youd just have to be damn lucky to even get a glimpse at his softer side #hes surrounded by coworkers anyway he doesnt find the need to be 'nice' to them only 'professional'#maybe im being delusional and am only romanticizing a criminal but. oh well 💖#shoutout to anon for this request!!!!!! got me writing a whole mini 'character analysis' essay in the tags !!!#btw if ptj releases anything in the future debunking my gun analysis i will cry 💔 /lh

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habunshu · 2 years

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just read an interview sara hess did recently and she’s talks about aegon and him raping dyana and the way this entire thing reads is just so…..not to mention in the same interview she throws daemon under the bus and says he’s a bad father when the episode she wrote she chose to cut out the scenes with him comforting his daughters and chose to add in how he ignores rhaena

[saying this all having seen ep10 leaks, and saying this all with words from HBO that they plan to release a “pristine cut” from earlier today- whatever that means, so by the time this “cut” is released some mass-disliked moments may have been retconed or scenes added]

[mention of SA, R*pe in regards to Aegon’s writing]

[mention of traumatic childbirth and death from childbirth]

I have so many many thoughts about not only Sara Hess but the whole writing team. This is LONG, and thank u very much for sparking my thoughts with this ask!

HOTD has, fallen out a lot with me post episode 5/6, I remember thinking what a fantastic start it was off to when I watched episode 1, and the moment it’s established that the writers and directors are NOT collaborating between episodes, and each hold very different understandings of each character they portray- it’s become a quick recipe for disaster. Im not going to nitpick every part of the season, I’m well aware this show plans to overarch multiple seasons, but I am still going to discuss it from a standalone story due to how long each season takes to produce.

1. Complications from writing teams, and contrasting GRRM’s base material:

HOTD and F&B being separate narrative points and existing as different validity tales is something that is perfectly fine, I am used to discussing validity of secondary reports of historical content through my degree, and HOTD is a very good medium (as it is VISUAL instead of written) of attempting to show this tale from inside the House itself- what dissonance occurs is due to fondness over the staple violence and power hungry violence of these Westeros Nobles that creates interesting fantasy grandeur. A lot of people enjoy spectating these awful powerful people commit horrible acts in their own interests and family allegiances; Cersei, Daemon, Otto, and others are fascinating anti-heroes and antagonists due to their setting to allow for large-scale atrocities to physically vent their ambitions and goals.

The Dance of The Dragons (in the Books) is this horrific and tragic death for petty self importance, untreated family trauma and paranoid self-hardening that continues and grows with each generation of the Courts is bound to snap on-top of someone’s shoulders at some point, just around 80 years of RELATIVE “peace” under King Jaehaerys I and Viserys I (55+26 if i’m not mistaken). And such a King born of peace wanting to prolong it (Viserys I) is almost a perfect breeding ground for power hungry leeches to start grappling for the Throne (Otto).

So when the bricks start to crumble and we have expectations of drama and bloodshed, true to GRRM’s writings, it’s not a change in certain plot points that is objectively bad (some are better- Sara Hess respects Laena as a woman of 2 Valyrian Houses dying of her own wish instead of before she can on the staircase), it’s misconceptions of what purpose each character serves between writers that makes each episode clunky, snowballing into the season looking like a puzzle I slapped together from mis-matched pieces I found my desk draw.

Almost all characters if not between back to back episodes, from the beginning to the end of the season have moments that straight up do not make sense compared to who they are established as.

This reaches a more frustrating point when we see the overarching trend of almost all Female main characters be softened and be removed of their personal wants. (In the Books) Rhaenyra and Alicent are two amazing narrative foils; Entitlement vs Want, Power (Dragons) vs Intelligence. These are two women who have lost their childhood sense of female unity and joint suffering, with their in-book ages, Rhaenyra looses an older female figure and Alicent looses a companion and a major representation of her own lost girlhood.

When Alicent becomes just a high-strung pawn for her father, her son placed on the throne without her involvement or knowledge, still holding onto her girlhood she becomes a beautiful tragic figure and Olivia does he’s SO MUCH justice- but at the cost of her being this beautiful antagonist and individual.

When Rhaenyra becomes with unsure and overwhelmed girl-heir, becomes someone who only began to learn the knowledge a monarch requires at her late teens instead of being named heir before she was 10, she’s no longer a strong Targaryen that wants what she has been told her whole life is hers- but a bumbling princess who is asking for permission to wear her fathers crown.

Rhaenys, Baela and Rhaena are moved aside and the young daughters of Laena are given barely any content besides smiling politely. Helena I will say seems relatively untouched, we see a girl in her own solitude with a mother who gave birth way too young and doesn’t know how to be one. A true tragic figure after being sentenced to being a royal womb and looses her child over evening the scales-

[EP10 LEAK- RETCON OR CORRECTION ON OFFICIAL RELEASE UNKNOWN] If Aemond does end up a Kinslayer by technically, Vhagar attacking in retaliation with him being unable to control her after Lucerys in turn doesn’t control Arrax spitting fire first when fleeing to return to his mother. It does work in favour of Aemond being subjected to harsh consequences for either defending himself or completely against his wishes. But again we loose what is one of the most vicious combatants of the civil war, as well as the intent of Helena loosing her own child not matching up. “A Son for a Son”, but to even it out Helena’s child needs to die by accident in return. This also contrasts Aemond’s character of a bloodthirsty prince, he WANTS Lucerys dead, his own half-nephew took his eye, why does he care that the Baratheon wants blood outside of his home instead of infront of him. He’s the Kings Brother, Rider of Vhagar.

This change of intent to misunderstandings does create its own dynamic, but the lack of a cohesive plot and character purpose creates this mess that takes the Dance from:

“This family have become horrifyingly self-entitled and power-drunk due to their dragons, and will do whatever to fulfil their own wants, even killing the Dragons they owe their power to. There is a division between Kin and Family and Kin will be sacrificed if one can gain from it.”

To: “The Sheer Number of Aegons and lack of critical thinking has made so many deaths meaningless.”

The writers seem so scared of writing women with intent and purpose and power, Rhaenyra was a dragon rider at 7, 6 years before the youngest rider before her, we haven’t seen her on Syrax since Daemon steals an egg, we have powerful female Targaryens in-universe, Visenya is right there. Women in the show are mothers or soon to be married and mothers, Rhaenyra has no combat experience as a NAMED HEIR.

2. Sara Hess

She is uh, sure is something of a writer, knowing she’s responsible at least in part of EP6 and EP9 does make sense. She’s got a lot of not great comments and understandings of characters, that does do them a disservice.

The biggest offender (pun intended) is Aegon II, very surprising for a woman to romanticise such a horrific abuse of power and male identity that leads to (as Alicent implies this is not the first time he commits these acts on screen) the SA and worse of a handmaiden, and attempt to paint it as a misguided action of love. Aegon II as a character is a great way to show “A female heir could be perfect, Rhaenyra could be perfect; but will still be tossed aside in favour of a male heir that is abominable, horrible and a stain to his family’s legacy”

Is he given an unfair hand at the blatant favouritism of Viserys? yes. Is he forced into a position that he has no desire to be in until he is either:

1. In the books told that a formidable blood-spilling Rhaenyra will kill her opposition (his family and children) for the crown.

2. In the show dragged to his coronation, crying as he walks the Dragon pit, taking a position he KNOWS his father never once delegated to him.

Tom Glynn-Carney does a PHENOMENAL job with the material he is provided and tasked to act out. We can gain sympathy for him in both narrative chains without the romanticism of SA and r*pe, Tom SHOWS us a young man who turns to alcoholic tendencies due to the obvious fact his father only considers himself to be a father of one, and the fact that his mother has near infinite complex relationship with motherhood as a manipulated childbride and replacement wife that doesn’t even compare to the First Queen to her husband.

Aegon is heavily spoilt and misguided and starved of normal parents, and even as a horribly sexist man of power we can find nuance in him. Sara Hess does him a disservice by saying he “loved” Dyana, if you want to write him as a sympathy figure regarding his own love outwards, it is already there in his DISINTEREST in Helaena, the choice to not want to love is a better rebellion against all his representation of love that he’s grown up with.

“Do you (Mother) Love me?” is a tragic line, it drives sympathy in itself as her firstborn son knowing she is merely 16 years older than him, not even 40 at the time of his coronation. Why make this about him r*ping a woman instead of the complex relationship the family knows Alicent has about motherhood and the loss of her own life at age 16 when Otto decides to move her representative chess piece forward?

Sara Hess’ comments that went viral, although make sense in her distaste with various Scenes of Daemon (which are STILL abstractions from GRRM and his creation of Daemon) from EP10. I am surprised at her ability to unite those who are Team Black or Team Green, but even then her involvement has more downsides to this opportunity of story telling that positives.

A particular comment of hers that I didn’t appreciate in the slightest was her input on (Book) Rhaenyra growing fat after having 5 children and getting older.

Extremely weird to vilify a woman of luxurious life and 5 pregnancies in Medieval times gaining weight. Whilst yes there is valid criticism of male storytelling, why lump the weight of a woman in the same category as sexism of women in power. Rhaenyra’s body has nothing to do with her as a leader or historical figure.

3. Daemon at the hands of the writers (Sara’s portrayal in particular)

GRRM has stated that Daemon Targaryen is his favourite, and I completely understand it.

Who is he? A second-born pure-blood prince, a renowned knight, rider of the Bloodwyrm, a prime Targaryen, confident, ambitious, cunning and loyal to a fault on those he considers family.

Daemon is introduced as an agent of Chaos and polarising public opinion, but still commands respect and at least was worthy enough to be handed the titles of Master and stand on the Court (but not to be earned, he is born into an almost invincible position). We see him painted as ready to take the throne as eldest male Targaryen barring the King himself, and is set at this surface level “Rogue” who dotes on the younger Targaryen at court (intentions unknown).

Ep1-4 we see he aligns more at strength for the Targaryen Dynasty, not just himself. He is a narrative foil to Viserys in attitude and tolerance, yin and yang in a way. He states that he wants to keep the crown on his brothers head steady, he sees past Otto and relays the distaste of the Hightowers that is present in Dark Sister’s original wielder.

I think a lot of people misinterpret him as selfishly power hungry, that every action has to explicitly lead to him as King on the Throne, but why not kill Rhaenyra at any point, he’s a suspect regardless due to his reputation, but he is cunning, there’s no way he couldn’t have pulled it off when she was young with how many of Aemma’s surviving babies died young- Rhaenyra herself could easily have health complications.

He is raised on the idea of their Family being omnipotent, 3 siblings conquered Westeros, who says he cannot ally himself with a select few? He gains significant back room power the way Coryls wants as a Prince consort or Hand to Viserys/Rhaenyra.

He is cruel and violent and awful and egotistical, but he holds the better part of himself for those he deems worthy. This is what makes him a compelling character, unwavering support to those he chooses. With debatable intent with Laena across book and TV stories, he is not neglectful of those he cares of. The active choice to cut scenes of him being a father, any sense of comfort, to imply he favours the daughter that has a dragon already, is nothing short of character assassination and extremely biased.

Daemon is far from a faithful, christian husband, don’t get me wrong, he ends up cheating on Rhaenyra and has fucked so many women in his life I don’t know how he hasn’t got like 34 STDs. But there seems to be an in-universe grey area on Targaryen polyamory and lovers, (Rhaenyra and Laena in book at a little, 👀) his political loyalty and service to Rhaenyra’s crown is never once faltered, he dies for her to get rid of Aemond and Vhagar (the only reason the Greens didn’t instantly die). His is this beautifully volatile and unpredictable character, but compassionate to a fault, and willing to do anything to restore Targaryen Power.

Sara Hess’ writing is far from unbiased, and deviates heavily from who GRRM wrote with such fondness, not completely unfounded, he does groom his niece and kiss her the infront of his the kids he had with his dead wife the day of her funeral. But why paint him as this deadbeat dad when he of him and his brother does not subject his wife to unnecessary pain when she will die regardless, he who does not differentiate between children of different mothers. Viserys is a chronic first-wife bias, he doesn’t care that his second son is partially blinded and instead does not revoke when Rhaenyra asks for what is essentially torture to gain insight on why Aemond called her Bastard Sons, Bastards. Why doesn’t Sara call him out on saying he only has one child, why doesn’t she say she doesn’t understand why people like Viserys at Paddy’s portrayal?

She’s incorrect in us liking him as (not my words) “daddy” because he killed Rhea Royce and groomed his niece, people with brains are aware of his faults. We like BOTH of these brothers who were overzealous in the use of brothels are young bachelor princes. We like them because of the effort Matt and Paddy put in DESPITE the writing they are shown with.

The most concrete moment of bad directing of daemon shows in his interactions with Viserys.

Matt understands Daemon at peak when he IMPROVISES Daemon stepping up as the brother protecting his weak king from Otto and himself when he picks up the crown, and supports Viserys on his way to the Throne, he could have easily left him to stumble and make a fool of himself. He wouldn’t though.

[EP10 SPOILERS] Seeing Daemon get violent with Rhaenyra, after he grabs 3 dragon eggs for her, after he marries her in secret, after he kills Vaemond for her. Is so out of character, not in his general sense, but out of character in WHO he directs this violence at. The physical scene cuts make it seem like they cut out any reconciliation, as well as the rough choking -> mocking -> going back to normal.

It gets even MORE OOC when it gets to Rhaenyra’s troubling childbirth of Visenya.

Daemon, a man who lost his mother through childbirth of his younger brother Aegon who then died in the crib.

Daemon who did not have a mother for long at all.

Daemon, who watched Viserys and Aemma loose child after child until she dies.

Daemon who watched Laena struggle and end up commanding Vhagar to kill her as an act of Mercy.

Daemon who watched his daughters not have a mother for long at all.

Daemon who watched and saw Rhaenyra not have her mother for long.

Daemon who does not stay with her during the pregnancy, Daemon who they decided to keep separate from Rhaenyra as she struggles to give birth.

It is such an out of character moment that it along with the choking scene ruins him as a man, as every episode has established.

Again he is not perfect, withholds public affection even in high-strung moments due to being cautious in court. Has killed (or at least plotted) his first wife, the whole Gold cloak scene, the grooming.

But, He if this is not changed in the “pristine” cut, it does ruin all that GRRM has established.

It speaks a lot when improvisation on the Actors speak better on the characters than the writers themselves. It speaks a lot when an improvised scene touches people more than what the writers explicitly add.

#so sorry u all had to read this but i have thoughts #and do tell me yours !!!#ask #user milfoiks #house of the dragon #HOTD #GOT #game of thrones #hbo house of the dragon #daemon targeryan #viserys targaryen #rhaenyra targaryen #aemma arryn #laena targaryen #rhaenys targaryen #aegon targaryen #aemond targaryen #Long post #alicent hightower

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missmungoe · 1 year

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helloooo!!!!! im just coming by to say i. am. in. LOVE with your work!!!!!! i truly have been blessed to come across your fics bc theyre sooooo incredibly well written and just JUICYYYYY!!! i been biting the absolute hell out of my nails reading the suspense in some of these i cant help it omgggg! but i have 2 questions!!!! first question is do you ever plan on writing fics on some OP characters like the strawhats individually (not that im not getting my fill w your writing currently) but i love your writing style and i feel you’d be amazing in capturing more character pov. if thats not what your interested in at all thats okay!! i was just curious. and my last question is do you have any other ships that you’d want to write about? im curiousss👀 nonetheless all i wanted to say is youre amazing🥺 plsssss keep up the work and i hope you have an amazing new years!!!!!

(p.s. i hope the new years brings some new shanks x makino as well EEEEEEK!!!!)

HI, your enthusiasm revived me!! To answer your questions: I don’t have any plans right now! I just really love writing Shanks and Makino, and the stories I want to tell are about them, but I do include different POVs in my writing, because even if they’re not the main attraction, there are so many fun characters to explore in this series (case in point: one of my favourite POVs to write is Buggy’s).

Actually, in terms of Straw-Hat centric stories, there is the ‘Shanks and Makino through the eyes of one Monkey D. Luffy’ fic that I’ve been meaning to finish for ages, or at the very least, cross-post to AO3, but I had some more scenes I wanted to add before I do that (among others: the scene behind Luffy’s (mildly horrified) flashback in Andromeda chapter 5).

As for your second question: see above, haha. No but I have written for a few different ships in One Piece, even though it’s been a while! I really want to finish my Rayleigh x Shakky story Peony & Silver (I’ve been working on how to weave in Shakky’s past as a Kuja Empress without altering the story, but then she strikes me as the kind of person who could omit that tidbit for years before dropping it in the middle of a conversation, like ‘oh, did I forget to mention that? ah, well’). I also get the occasional question if I’m ever going to continue It Takes Two, aka the Zoro x Tashigi undercover-as-married fic, and I love that people are so fond of that story? I promise I haven’t forgotten about it; I just haven’t been inspired to write that pairing in a while, but I haven’t shelved the idea of a continuation<3

So we’ll see what 2023 brings! Right now I’m working on the next chapter of Tideswept because I’m on a roll (and the next chapter takes a turn, to say the least!), and my goal for the first half of this year is to get back to Mnemosyne, and if time and motivation allows, to finish both Andromeda Unbound and Moon and Her Maiden!

#there's also the remaining two parts of On the Water #but then this is my favourite setting<3 #ahhhh so many things I want to write so little TIME #but thank you for showing enthusiasm for my writing!! this is the kind of thing that makes me excited to write<3

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not-poignant · 11 months

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There's been lots of Temsen talk around here, so I thought I'd drop by and tell you how grateful I am for TND and Temsen in particular. (TW scars) I have scarring on both sides of my torso. It's not raised or painful, but it's very obviously there because of the colour difference with the rest of my skin. It looks like spots and mottles. In TND, you wrote about an old sickness that ended up causing some Vench's skin to have spots and mottles (maybe some of them were just born like that? Im unsure) Until it was revealed that that's how the spots and mottles came to be, I had envisioned the Vench as these beautiful creatures, you know? And after the backstory, I still did. It made me realise that someone else may find my spots beautiful too (although, I realise I'm not an underground skin touch wowie creature, so it's different, lol). What I'm trying to say is that that part of TND but also just TND as a whole has helped me work through and accept so many parts of myself. Once it's finished, may I print it? To keep it on my bookshelf :). If I were a better artist, I'd draw something for you from TND, and if I were a better writer, I'd write. I'm really trying to convey how much TND means to me, and I don't think I can properly. I wish I could make you a 7 course meal, because I am a decent cook! If I didn't love you before (I did), I certainly do now, for having created this wonderful story and blessing us with it. I hope you continue to do things you enjoy and take breaks and eat good food!! Love <3

Hi anon! Tbh a 7 course meal sounds nice, I've only eaten mandarins today, because I've been in too much pain/fatigue to manage like...meals. So I'm always very amazed / in awe when other people have the energy to make things like sandwiches.

In TND, you wrote about an old sickness that ended up causing some Vench's skin to have spots and mottles (maybe some of them were just born like that? Im unsure) Until it was revealed that that's how the spots and mottles came to be, I had envisioned the Vench as these beautiful creatures, you know?

Tbh, anon, all of the mottles except for very few which look very specific (and have only been described once), are all not scars, but very beautiful, shining parts of the vench's bodies. I mean, Augus also perceives the scars from the rotting sickness that Wirth explains as beautiful (it is a white, shining scar that's very noticeable), but every other time vench mottles are mentioned, they're just a part of the vench's normal skin, in the same way that frogs also have very pretty blotches/mixed colourations. Mottles are clan specific (scars aren't), in terms of their colours (in fact hair, eye, and mottle colour are all clan specific in The Nascent Diplomat).

So envisioning vench as beautiful creatures who have naturally occurring mottles (that aren't scars - the scars only affected one generation of vench and they are the vast minority, the only one we've met so far is Wirth) is what was intended re: the story.

That being said, I really love your interpretation of things as well. I've written stories in the past where characters have quite serious scars, and their love interest has always seen them as beautiful or as neutral, as having merit or as signifying how strong the person with the scars was, or generally as being significant in some way. Stories like Into Shadows We Fall, The Golden Age that Never Was, The Beast that Chose Its Own Bridle, Stuck on the Puzzle, even moments in The Spoils of the Spoiled, Falling Falling Stars, and it will be present in stories like Mallory & Mount as well. It's definitely something I've spent time on as a concept, even if it's not something I did for more than about five seconds in The Nascent Diplomat!

In that sense, I definitely think you will meet someone who either finds your scars beautiful, or alternatively, just a neutral, normal part of you. I have over 3 metres of surgical scars on my body, anon, and that doesn't include the scars I have for other reasons (stretch marks for example). Some of those scars are in very obvious places, some aren't, but there's very few parts of my body you can look at without seeing at least some.

Meanwhile my partners both have freckles absolutely everywhere (though they're fading now, as they get older), and I think that's amazing and really cool, and I love those freckles, and I don't understand how anyone could mock someone for it, because that just doesn't compute to me.

No body is perfect, and any body that is, will not be perfect for long, we all have an expiry date, we all attain scars and wrinkles and blotches and freckles and warts and hormonal discolourations (I have two dark patches on my cheeks from being on the combined Pill for such a long time - my Mum always covered hers with foundation, I don't cover mine at all, it doesn't seem like there's much of a point when I have a 20cm scar on my neck anyway.

Learning to at least be neutral with our bodies, is an admirable and I would say even necessary goal. Learning to be positive or loving our bodies is amazing for the folks who can get there!

Once it's finished, may I print it? To keep it on my bookshelf :).

Of course!!!

I apologise for not having put down the kind of profound meaning that you picked up from the story, but I still really support and love that interpretation, especially since I've written versions of it across so many narratives in the past, and will continue to in the future. Your interpretation makes the narrative a lot more powerful, and that you turned it into something that you could use to help transform your feelings towards yourself and your scars and your body is an absolute credit to you. I think you're amazing :) <333

#asks and answers #long post #the nascent diplomat #fae tales worldbuilding #pia on worldbuilding #the scars are intended to be beautiful #augus goes out of his way to ask if it's appropriate to call them comely #because he finds them very pretty #(but it's good to ask because some people don't like their scars being commented on in this way)#but anyway your interpretation is top tier anon #i really appreciate you sharing it with me #administrator gwyn wants this in the queue

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acourtofmenandthirst · 1 year

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I FUCKING SCREAMED WHEN I SAW YOUR UPDATE 😫😫😫😫😫 THIS IS THE TYPE OF SHIT I WANT FUCK!!!! typically dislike any archeron sister ships, but goodness gracious i love this series, like in a way, eris gets his own story written like damn i’m getting emotional i’m just really happy like he’s getting attention period AND LIKE A WRITER WHO DOES HIM JUSTICE LIKE FUCK 😖😖 i appreciate all the eris writers out there, i truly do, like i love y’all, thank you for your amazing work, sending you all love and warmth 😘😘 but i can tell your love for the character is just different, like i see the depth and the emotion there i can’t even explain it n im sorry if im rambling. that was like the longest sentence i’ve written jesus BUT I CANT JUST SIT HERE AND ORGANIZE EVERY THOUGHTS BECAUSE THIS ASK WILL NEVER BE SENT!! ok let me start again. what i really love about you as a writer is that you have passion for eris’ character. i know that there are wonderful writers who can write a good plot with good descriptions, but you take the time to explore his trauma. it’s displayed in some of your fics that talk about the reader helping him work/overcome his issues, and vice versa. you create a small plot that show his humanity, basically and it makes me love his character more. and i’m honestly so happy that you’re taking the time to create this series, consisting of full fics or drabbles cause it’s like “wow here’s another layer to eris n i can’t wait to know more of him” you know, like damn. yes, he’s not good (he recognizes that) but he’s also not as bad as others make him out to be (and this is shown in intended and discreet actions and cues (and sometimes words) in the work). he’s so underrated n im just thankful that a writer like you had taken a liking to him. i’m typically a quiet supporter but i feel like you need to be showered with recognition and praise cause you’re doing great things 🥹🥹 i love your work n im always here cheering you on 🥰 hope you’re well! apologies for the long ass message (idk how to minimize this)

WOW i don't even know what to say - thank you so so much for the meaningful message. it is definitely a privilege to be able to write for you all and share the way i imagine eris! i am so glad that this series has reached so many people and all of the messages everyone sends in are so kind ☺️

i love being able to share the other side of eris and express how i'd imagine his softness and give him the character development he deserves (which i have a sinking feeling SJM will fuck up) i truly love the character she started for him and have been very excited to continue writing him in the best light i can 🥹🥹

thank you again and thanks to everyone for always being so kind and supportive!!! i know i do not necessarily post the most or write very fast, but i appreciate every one of you who reads my fics 🥰

#anon #crying

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scoobydoozies · 1 year

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the racism was uncomforable in the headless horror my other problem with it was how the guy just took his wife putting him in the hositpal as no big dea.... it just felt so unbelievable..

relationships in this show are very..strange to me... we got velma abusing shaggy/ velma the smart one being jealous of scooby/ fred showing zero interest in daphne until the plot demands it/ daphne/velma alone come off too pushy that it gets uncomfortable/ and thats just season 1

season 2 i wont spoil much cause im not sure how far ya are. im only about 5-6 eps in but i ididnt want to see a jealous fred act like a crazed ex but they decided woo its comedy to kidnap your ex girlfriend/ and again we have a women being weird to shaggy but an old women so its 100 times worse and just played off as a joke.. this show is just mean to shaggy

so how this show was recommended after velma is beyond me.. at best the background animation is good and we got the voice of kronk/ and frank welker is having fun i think tis amazing he can still do him so well at 70 / but they can only do so much to make it bearable with all the romance drama/ plot twists it reminds me of a cw show but animated

yeah like that's what i mean when i say this show really just isn't written well. there are some really cool concepts, but rarely are they executed to their fullest potential. characters make choices not based on their own personality and goals, but for the convenience of the plot and creation of conflict, which often leads to some really unfortunate side effects when you actually think about what's happening. as an example i wanna break down the fred and daphne thing, but this kind of writing is present throughout the whole first season (which is all i've seen so far, though i've heard a decent amount of things about season 2, but i'll try to stick to what i've personally watched for the most part)

like, at first fred shows no interest in daphne beyond friendship, but is a pretty good friend to her, while daphne is head over heels for fred to the point that she has basically no personality outside of that. yet, there isn't anything about fred that she actually likes. in the first episode she says that he's like one of those geniuses that's isn't appreciated in their time, but it's clear from later episodes that her and the rest of the gang think that he's stupid. beyond that, everything he says is annoying or boring to her unless it's him showing her romantic affection, and even then, only in certain ways.

later in season 1, fred suddenly switches from having no romantic interest in daphne to being in love with her, for no discernible reason. we know he didn't just secretly have a crush on her before, because we know that when he shows interest in someone he becomes incredibly jealous and possessive, and in episode 3 (before he liked her) he was totally supportive of her going on the date with rung. she ends gets so upset about him not reciprocating her feelings in the way she wants (as if she's owed that or something) and for having the audacity to like things that aren't her, that she writes a diss track about him and rejects him when he actually DOES reciprocate her feelings.

then there's that whole thing where he asks her on a date to the trap museum, and she gets really mad about it… for some reason? it's apparently because he makes everything about traps instead of her? she then gets all googly-eyed over a teacher, fred gets jealous, and then daphne says that she has the teacher's phone number and that they're planning on going on a date… at the trap museum. which either means: 1. she doesn't actually mind learning about traps and she's just annoyed that he's continuing to have an interest in the thing he's interested in for no reason, or 2. she's lying about having a date with the teacher, and is just saying that to hurt him. also, side note, the show never addresses or even implies that there's anything wrong with the teacher/student relationship aspect of all this. like, at all. the issue being presented here is that daphne's making fred jealous, because they liiiike each other~. at the end of the episode he calls her his girlfriend, and suddenly she's totally not mad at him anymore and is like "oh i would LOVE to go to the trap museum with you"… even though he was LITERALLY asking her out on a date at the beginning of the episode! which means he thinks of her as his girlfriend! nothing changed! she just changed her mind because it was time for that conflict to be over.

then fred and daphne are together and it's pretty much fine for a while, but then fred starts acting really controlling about her, almost verging on stalker territory. he starts making a list of all her habits and whereabouts, keeping track of her schedule and trying to control her and their relationship. she becomes (rightfully) uncomfortable with this, and says to velma it's giving her trust issues. she doesn't really talk about it to him directly, instead she asks a spirit board about the issue in front of him and he notices. later they actually DO talk about it, he apologizes for his behavior and it's chalked up to him being overprotective because of his issues over his absent mom. the one that scooby said was hot. that part's not relevant but i think it bears mentioning. anyway i actually felt like the way this conflict between them was handled fairly decently for this show. fred has an obsessive personality so this being a character flaw makes sense, daphne not talking to him about it right away and being a little immature about addressing it makes sense fits because she's a teenager, and they did talk about it and work it out. the problem doesn't come from this specific episode but the fact that fred… doesn't actually stop being controlling about daphne in later episodes (like i know about the kidnapping thing and doll with her real hair and the getting mad at/bullying marcie for not being daphne… ugh. don't even get me started on the way the gang treats marcie.)

then fred ends up proposing to daphne out of nowhere (they're still in high school btw), saying he wants her to solve mysteries with her forever, and she's over the moon about it. she gets really into it and starts planning right away, wanting to one-up her sisters and all that. when she tries to talk to fred about wedding stuff though, he's totally disinterested, and she continues to be disinterested in anything about him that doesn't revolve around her. great basis for a future marriage /s. they end up telling their parents who don't approve, velma and shaggy get mad at them for not telling them about the engagement, yada yada, whatever. at the end of season finale when the truth comes out about fred's past, he calls the engagement off completely because he wants to find his real parents, alone. the guy who is supposedly all about the team and wanted them to all move in together after high school and to solve mysteries together with daphne forever… wants to solve the mystery of locating his parents on his own. why??? well obviously because the writers want to separate them all for the dramatic ending, of course! and they didn't bother to set up any real justification for that beforehand that would actually make sense.

what's worse though is if you think about that ending from a totally in-universe perspective, it makes fred look REALLY bad. like, he proposed to daphne to keep her bound to him forever, but the second it felt more convenient to not have her around, he throws her in the garbage? AND continues to be obsessive and controlling about her later?

i think fred being controlling can be a good character flaw to have, in fact be cool scooby-doo did that really well in my opinion, but when you apply that character flaw to a romantic relationship, i think you have to be REALLY careful about how you portray that, and the show doesn't exactly have the best track record when it comes to condemning toxic behavior like that. plus, the level of control can only go up to a certain point severity and persist for a certain amount of time before it stops being an innocent mistake.

and this is just. how the show is written. in general. characters do nonsensical things for the convenience of the writers, which often paints them as being petty, fickle, and shallow. they often do mean or selfish things purely for the purpose of creating conflict and nothing else, which makes them come off as being bad people. im not opposed to shows where the characters are deeply flawed or even the villains, but it really doesn't feel like it's on purpose with the main 5. their bad behavior is often justified or left uncriticized or unpunished

when velma's hitting shaggy (and doing so hard enough to hurt him) for talking the way he talks, fred and daphne completely ignore it. the only one who cares about it is shaggy, who's later villainized for breaking up with the girl who abused him, demeaned him, and tried control him, after she gave him an ultimatum to get rid of his best friend! a member of their team! do fred or daphne ever tell her, "hey, scooby's our pal, and asking shaggy to get rid of him is really selfish of you"? nope! she continues to go on and on about how "he left her for a dog" for the whole rest of the season, and plenty of other characters throughout the show sympathize with her or mock shaggy for his (correct) choice. nobody ever stands up for him or defends him at all.

there's not even any discernible reason why any of them are interested in each other romantically. hell, there's no discernible reason why any of them are friends at all! well, besides velma and daphne bonding over their shared entitlement to the boys they're into, and similar shallow romance drama and other stereotypical ~girl things~. i wouldn't even say they all share a love for mystery solving-- shaggy and daphne don't seem like they could care less about that, and even fred and velma don't feel like they like it as much as every other iteration of those characters i've come across. fred mostly just cares about setting traps and nine times out of ten velma would rather angst over shaggy or get a pedicure with daphne than focus on the mystery. they solve mysteries together because that's what's dictated by the show they're in. that's it. they're not even very good at it! in the first half of season 1 mr. e is holding their hands, guiding them through some of the most obvious and clear-cut mysteries i've seen from this franchise. the writers try to make them look smarter by deliberately not showing key clues to the audience (who can probably figure it out anyway by ruling out the obvious red herrings and paying attention to the basic structure, even if they're given 0 clues or motives that actually incriminate the character), and this just makes the reveals feel cheap, and further highlights how ridiculous some of the explanations are.

and i could just keep going, really, but i won't because this is already getting really long.

like i said, there's some cool concepts and ideas here, and every once in a while there will be an episode or scene or line that's pretty good. the backgrounds are nice, same with the designs of a lot of the monsters. i liked the episode with the orc biker gang, i thought the frighthound was really creepy, i like there being an overarching plot and getting to see the gang's school and home lives, i like there being an old mystery incorporated, i like fred being autistic (even if the representation there is flawed), i love fred jones sr (i guess since they make all the characters selfish assholes, it turns out that when that's what they're supposed to do, they do a pretty good job), etc. if this show had different writers, ones that think things through, can write women, that don't perpetuate toxic relationship dynamics or sexualize teenagers, that know how to craft mysteries with proper pacing and intrigue, that have a grasp on humor beyond cynical mean-spiritedness (which sometimes bleeds into outright bigotry), it probably WOULD be the best scooby-doo show.

and yeah, it's really ironic that this was the show everyone was recommending as an alternative to hbo's velma, because it seems like they share a lot of the same problems, velma's just a lot less subtle about it.

#I'M SORRY THIS S SO LONG SJLAKDFJLSKADJFK #i kind of started and then just... kept going...#i didn't realize how much i wrote until i copy-pasted it all into tumblr... oh lord #i dont know if you were expecting a 2000+ word informal essay as a response but that's what you got! ssdkjfjskdjf #anyway. i also love frank welker! he's a great voice actor. one of my faves ever and i think hes a big reason i like fred so much #he just keeps getting better tbh #sdmi critical #sdmi negative #a scoobydoozies original #oh it sure is lmao. scoobydoozies windbag moments #long post

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