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peace-coast-island · 2 months

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Diary of a Junebug

Snowflakes and berries at the Nightingale Nebula

It’s winter berry season at the Nightingale Nebula, so us campers are meeting up with the Epiphany to try their seasonal berries as well as enjoy the snowy season. Maybe it seems kinda weird that we’re eating ice cream in the cold, but it’s surprisingly fitting. There’s a reason why these berries are a well known local specialty after all!

The berries that are in season right now are limboberries, clamshells, ameplums, and milky citrus. Limboberries are the most common and can be used in a lot of different things. There’s seasonal specialties like limboberry jam and limboberry milk tea, and it’s often used in pastries. The taste is sort of like a cross between a raspberry and sweet grape. When you freeze the berries, the flavor improves by a lot as it really brings out the sweetness. Seriously, there is such a huge difference between frozen and not frozen.

Clamshells are the second most popular and it’s named that because they’re literally shaped like that. I have seen a lot of people take pictures with them because they do look so unusual, like it’s unreal. Seriously, they look kinda like those plastic beads that sometimes comes in fun shapes like seashells. As for the taste, it’s sweet with hints of a citrusy tartness to balance things out. You can eat it fresh or as ice cream, which is often served in a brioche bun.

Ameplums is basically amethyst and plum because of its pretty purple color. They really do kinda look like gems, especially when chilled as they become super shiny, almost like sparkly. These berries are really sweet - like candy sweet - so unless you like that, you need to freeze them. Basically the opposite of limboberries. They’re used exclusively for desserts and sweet wine.

Finally, there’s milky citrus, which is an unusual berry that’s citrusy and milky. I don’t know why, but I find the flavor kinda weird. I mean, creamsicles are a thing, though I don’t think this tasted anything like that, more like someone poured milk into a glass of orange juice. Maybe that’s not the best way of describing it. Anyway, I don’t exactly dislike it, especially in ice cream where the milkiness shines, but I wouldn’t gravitate towards it for anything else.

As for the Epiphany Crew, quite a bit has happened since I last saw them. The main thing is that Jewel’s recovered and chose to stick with the crew, which Laufey and Landry are happy about. I was worried about her after we just barely saved her from sinking to the bottom of the Mosaic. In terms of physical recovery, she’s not quite out of the woods yet, though it’s nothing too serious that would leave lasting complications. As for the mental and emotional, it’s safe to say that she’s doing a lot better, but it’s also complicated. Just gotta take it one day at a time.

Jewel revealed a bit about what had happened that led to her walking into the river. She said her sense of time after serving her prison sentence has become a bit hazy, most likely because she stopped caring about pretty much everything by that point. From what she can remember, she ended up blowing almost her entire fortune for various reasons, the legal stuff basically being the final nail in the coffin. I recall Laufey mentioning that as a debt collector she was pretty loaded and took pride in that, so to find out that Jewel later became destitute was a shock for her.

Although Jewel had some emergency savings stashed away by the time she was released, she either gambled it all away, or it just wasn’t enough to keep her afloat. Either way, she just aimlessly wandered to various places until she completely ran out of money and began living out on the streets. Sometime later, she started feeling sick and instead of getting better, she realized that she was getting worse. And since she couldn’t afford to get medicine, Jewel felt that her death was inevitable and decided to speed things up.

It’s a good thing we saw her when we did, or else Jewel wouldn’t be here today. She had been hoping to see me again so she can thank me in person and apologize for the trouble, which she didn’t have to, but she insisted. I mean, she was a low point and we saw her falling. Maybe some people would rather turn away when someone’s sinking, even if they’re right next to them, but I don’t think I can do that. If I saw someone falling and they’re within my reach, I would try to help them, do whatever I can within reason to stop them from falling to the void. That’s the least I can do.

After she got pulled out of the water, Jewel spent about 8 days in the ICU because of pneumonia. Since she had been ill for a while and being submerged exacerbated things, the doctors were worried about potential complications. Her lungs and heart are okay, thankfully, but she said there’s apparently some issues with her kidneys that should hopefully resolve itself. So she’s been going in for regular checkups and she’s slowly regaining her strength.

As for how things are for her emotionally and mentally, Jewel summed up her ordeal by saying she fucked up big time. Just as Landry suspected, Jewel began going through an existential crisis after the Acapella incident, which led to her demotion. Back then, she was a ruthless debt collector who was willing to play dirty to get the job done, even if it means ruining other people’s livelihoods over matters that have absolutely nothing to do with the present. The way she and her former colleagues saw it, being a debt collector was a necessary job to keep the economy going, which allowed them to sort of detach themselves and see people as numbers rather than actual people. Not really a nice way of viewing the world in my opinion.

Jewel herself had a reputation for being two faced and admits to being good at backstabbing to the point that it scares her. The incident at Acapella and her subsequent demotion made her realize what she was becoming and she hated herself for it. That’s why she went down the path of self sabotage. Even if she didn’t get fired, the Interstellar Factions debt collector department shut down anyway because it was inherently a corrupt system - and according to Jewel, they probably went bankrupt with all their legal troubles they’ve built up over the centuries.

Having been a debt collector for pretty much her whole life, which she explained as predetermined fate, and revolving her whole life around that, Jewel didn’t know what else to do after getting fired. She can’t go into detail for legal reasons, but she basically joined some sort of gang/cult and got into even more trouble. Then things escalated to the point where she finally got arrested and imprisoned.

When she woke up in the hospital, Jewel admitted that she was disappointed. Laufey said she was listless, kind of like a robot on autopilot. Fionna said it was the same for her when she woke up from her coma. You expect the sweet release of death only to find yourself pinned rock bottom and forced to live with the fact that you’re alive - meaning, you have no choice but to face the consequences of your decisions.

They say that dying is considered an easy way out, but is it really?

The crew held a meeting and it was pretty much unanimous that they wanted to take in Jewel if she had nowhere to go. While Jewel didn’t refuse, she questioned why they cared about what happened to her. The way she saw it, she didn’t deserve to be alive, though she also didn’t want to come across as ungrateful to those who risked their lives to save hers. Landry made it pretty clear that the offer wasn’t a transactional thing and that she should only accept because it’s what she wants, not because she felt that she owed them. In other words, she has to decide for herself, not what she thinks will make others happy.

Having been in the same position herself, it makes sense that Fionna would be able to reach out to Jewel. Although she wasn’t actively suicidal, Fionna was at such a low point where she didn’t care whether she lived or died because her troubles were piling on and she didn’t know what to do. Instead of dealing with their problems, they ignore them, preferring to run away rather than admit their mistakes. It’s a dangerous downwards spiral that’s difficult to get yourself out of, especially because you don’t realize that you’re in trouble until you’re in too deep. To some, they fall into this trap that they’re always doomed to fail because it seems like there’s no way out of this mess.

That said, even if it seems endless, and even when you yourself caused your own misfortune, your troubles will eventually pass. To quote a certain fortune teller, “Bad times are just times that are bad.” Sure, your problems won’t go away overnight, but no matter how bad a situation is, there will always be some sort of solution. Of course, depending on the situation, you have to work at it, and that’s often easier said than done. Some people just don’t want to work at it, preferring an easy way out so they probably don’t have to think too much about the consequences of their actions.

Fionna was given two choices when she woke up, which were, to put simply, live or die. At the time, she reluctantly chose to live, not just by breathing, but also by rebuilding her life from the ground up. She’s emphasized that she got lucky with things like a reduced sentence in a prison that’s actually more like a rehabilitation center, along with a good support system that really wanted her to pick herself up again. It became clear to her later on why they chose to send her there rather than some actual prison, and she’s grateful to them for that.

Even after serving her sentence, Fionna chose to stay as a staff member because she found meaning in her life over there and wanted to help others like they did for her. She might have overstayed her time there, but that’s another story. She mentioned that she was a flighty person back then, which contributed to her inability to put much effort into things because she just didn’t see the point. In other words, when the going gets rough, she gets going in the opposite direction.

It seems like Fionna’s heart to heart did Jewel a lot of good. She admits that she’s still on the fence about whether or not she wants to live, so she’s taking Fionna’s advice and playing it by ear. Laufey noted that after that talk, Jewel began acting more like her old - real - self and her recovery drastically improved. Her reasoning was along the lines of “I’m tired of fucking things up, I just want to do something right for once.”, which I think is a good reason to keep on going. Take control of your life rather than have it control you.

Along with the berries, there was another reason why the Epiphany’s visiting the Nightingale Nebula. A couple years ago, one of Della’s friends was murdered and her case had been unresolved until now. However, there’s been speculations that have been going around for a while that one of Della’s former superiors from the Eagle Stellarons is responsible. It wasn’t until during a recent fight with her old man that he accidentally revealed some things about the former captain that could potentially open up a can of worms, so to speak.

Della’s friend was basically killed for criticizing the Eagle Stellarons. As for how she met Della, it started out as an online friendship, then they found out that they weren’t too far from each other, so started hanging out in person. Marina was the one who opened Della’s eyes to her faction’s glaring faults and it was clear that her colleagues did not like that.

According to Yang and Della, it wasn’t like Marina was strongly opposed to the Eagle Stellarons, nor was she trying to be an activist, she just had some opinions and wasn’t afraid to voice them online. She didn’t have any ties to certain organizations or higher ups, she was just an ordinary person from an ordinary family, so the chances of her murder being a random occurrence was highly likely.

Since Marina was her only friend outside of the Eagle Stellarons, it makes sense why Della wanted to get to the bottom of this. She had a nagging feeling that she might have been responsible, though she couldn’t figure out why. She tried to reach out to Marina’s family, but aside from her mother, the other family members didn’t see the point in trying to get closure, which she doesn’t blame them for.

And not surprisingly, her colleagues were saying things along the lines of, “Why do you care about some nobody?” I think the appropriate response would be along the lines of, “Because they are somebody, someone who was once living and breathing just like we were.” Believe it or not, we do mean something to at least one person - it’s not like we exist in a vacuum.

So it turns out that Della’s former captain is a fucking creep for various reasons, and he apparently might be a serial killer. Damn. Della said he could never take criticism well, but she didn’t think he would resort to silencing those who he didn’t see eye to eye with. Out of all his known victims, only two aren’t affiliated with the Eagle Stellarons in any way - he only found out Marina and the other person through stalking his subordinates on social media.

There’s obviously a lot more to it, but Della has no interest in finding out more. She never saw eye to eye with him on pretty much anything, not to mention that he was often bullying and harassing her. Whatever happens to him, she doesn’t care as long as he rots in hell while his victims get the justice they deserve.

Now with that out of the way, Della’s been working up the courage to visit Marina’s mother again, preferably with the two of them alone. She was understandably hesitant because of her ties with the Eagle Stellarons, which is understandable. After all, around these parts the view of the Eagle Stellarons were somewhere between neutral and somewhat critical.

While we got a head start on picking berries, she went off on her own. A couple hours later around lunchtime she returned in much better spirits. Marina’s mother was alone and she was understanding of the whole situation, as well as grateful that Della came all this way to see her. As it turns out, she had been following the news of the Stellarons downfall and was aware that Della played a role in that. Now that’s one less thing weighing on her shoulders.

The berry picking was a lot of fun! Since they grow on really tall trees, we have to ride towering snowbeasts to reach the branches! Just as the name implies, they are massive! You have to get on a super tall platform into order to get on, and for a shorty like me, I needed a small ladder to get a bit of a boost. Along with being tall, they’re also wide enough to seat two people as well as small baskets for us to collect the berries.

As for the view up above, it was amazing! I was afraid that since we were on an animal it was gonna be wobbly, but it’s surprisingly steady. Obviously you can feel the platform move when it walks, and even then it’s not too terrifying. Plus, we have to stop to pick berries. It was a little scary being so close to the branches because you’re basically screwed if we move and something gets caught. Fortunately, nothing of that sort happened and it didn’t take long for me to get used to it.

Overall, it’s a totally unique experience that I would highly recommend if you’re comfortable with heights, as well as getting up close and personal with a bunch of trees, which I think is worth it for the berries they have to offer!

Read on AO3

#animal crossing pocket camp #animal crossing #headcanon ramble #diary of a junebug

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faerie-hoard · 1 year

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Actually blogging on Tumblr.com

I was trying to think about what I wanted to do for my first post, you know? I could have jumped straight into screaming at the void, post about books or rp or fanfic, and just pretended this blog was here the whole time. Or I could do an introduction post. Hello, I'm Fae, This is what I decided to do instead of ranting to my friends about things, I'm 26 going on 27 this year, etc., etc.

I hate introductions, though; I think they can be put into other things very easily, and they don't need to be their own post to reference constantly. If I wanted to do that, There's a bio right there, right?

Instead, I want to talk about the process of trying to find a good blogging spot, because it's really, Horribly corporate out there.

The thought of making this blog hit me at 2am working the night shift. I was loading up orders and boom, hey, let's start a blog! to ramble about things. Let's do book reviews. Let's review fanfiction. Let's talk about the online roleplay scene. Now, you know and I know that 2am is a terrible time to start a new project-- It's perfect for thinking it up, but the execution will always be a little messy. I'm a little messy on a good day, you know? so to avoid jumping in I went looking for resources.

You know, the sort of things that follow "Let's start a blog", which are "where do I put it?" and "how do I want it to look?" and "Is this going to cost me money at all". So I put on a youtube video, something to listen to while I worked. Something to, frankly, stop my impulses from popping my phone out on the sales floor like a cretin and trying to make a blogger account.

Have you ever looked up something innocuous, just to find yourself on The Grind side of the internet? I'm a squishy person, and I like relaxing, so I don't touch it very often. When I do run into it, it's a little bit like watching a parallel universe pop into existence fully formed. like Athena from Zeus' forehead. Maybe it was the 2am speaking, but at no point had the follow-up question "Can I make money off of this" popped into my head. In fact, when you're talking about fanfiction specifically it's dodgy to have that thought at all.

I think maybe I just got too comfy with the algorithm, honestly? Because youtube handed me so many videos, and none of them were remotely what I wanted. Just tons of advice from middle-aged men talking about blogging making you big money in almost no time at all! and...eugh?? Eugh. Nothing like fumbling for your phone in the back room because this is a 30-minute pitch for an online seminar and not actually a helpful video.

Like I said, I don't run into this side of the internet very often; I'm a proud tumblrite trash fire just like the rest of you, and I want ads on my things about as much as I want to look at ads on things I look up. Anyway, I chalked this up to the popular search being geared toward these grind-for-money, beat-capitalism-by-giving-me-money types. It sure wasn't though!

I mean, it was, but only because every single cursed thing I went to listen to was about how to make money on your blog and what things got you the most money and SEO and exclusive domains and you get the idea. Use WordPress! .org and not .com, though, so you can mess around with things and own everything yourself. Pay for hosting and a domain name. Use blogger! but only because it monetizes ads with google. Use Wix! the free version still lets you earn some money. I'm already at work! I don't need to be sold shit on the off chance my blog gets popular. Maybe one day I'll want WordPress and want a custom domain and all that, but I'm fine being a .website sort of blog.

I spent the rest of the night listening to WTNV and podfic, just to wash the taste out of my mouth, and when I woke up the next day sometime in the late afternoon I went to the source-- Reddit. And wouldn't you know it, I was getting answers, albeit still stuck in "Idk man don't you want to make money?" mode. Still, It was a relief seeing other people like me, who just had a lot to say and like to talk about it. Fellow void-screamers, if you will, and They were just as disgruntled!

This was where someone suggested Blogger as a useful tool for a free and new blog. It's in the name, right? I thought "Is it still ok to use though? will I be gently mocked for being a .blogger.com sort of blog?" (I hadn't actually gotten a lot of sleep, this is the only explanation I have for this thought). Then, on the winds of change itself, "I might as well just use tumblr if I'd go on blogger."

And... yea? Yeah, why hadn't I thought of that in the first place! It's free! it's anticapitalist! it's full of people like me that I like, and I know how to use it already! Anyway, that's how I ended up realizing I'd never considered Tumblr as a blogging site. It's probably outdated to use it like one now, but that never stopped tumblr before.

So that was my journey, with a side of salt tossed over at grindtube for making me sift through some absolute bullshit. I'm here, now, and I hope I get some enjoyment out of posting my thoughts here. At the very least I won't be ranting incoherently at my friends anymore.

probably.

#First blog #I cannot believe I forgot tumblr existed

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survey--s · 2 years

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300.

If money wasn't an issue, how would you redecorate/renovate your house? I would finish renovating the bathroom and expand the kitchen like we keep meaning to do, and install a breakfast bar type thing to divide the downstairs a little bit. Then I’d finish the garden, sort the patio and get some garden furniture and a hot tub installed. I’d also clear out the spare room and get some decent storage put in.

What's one style of fashion that you can't stand? High-waisted “mom” jeans.

If you drink coffee, how did you take your last cup? If you don't drink coffee, what was the last caffeinated drink you had? I had two mugs of coffee this morning - both with milk and two sugars.

What was the last really funny thing someone said to you or told you? I honestly don’t know - probably something stupid that would have no meaning to anyone else.

If you have a dog, do you pay to get it groomed, or do you do it yourself? If you don't have a dog, would you rather pay to have it groomed or do it yourself? Archie is short-haired so he doesn’t go to the groomers really, but I do take him to get his nails trimmed sometimes. Sally does it for free though as I work with her clients to take their dogs to/from the groomers.

When it comes to surveys, do you prefer a long detailed survey that makes you think, or something that you can do in 5 minutes and be done? I like longer surveys (like 30-40 questions) but generally I don’t like questions that are overly detailed or long, though.

What was the first really big/expensive thing you bought for yourself? (For example, a computer, iPod, car, etc.) Probably my first car, which cost 3k but I spent my inheritance on that.

Have you ever re-listened to a band that you hadn't listened to for years? Did you get back into them or just enjoy reminiscing over the songs? Sure, that happens a lot, but generally I just enjoy reminiscing.

If you could automatically learn how to knit, crochet or sew, which one would you choose? Crochet.

What is a skill other people have that you are really impressed by? Singing in tune.

Do you listen to any foreign bands? If so, which? Do you generally enjoy music from other countries other than music from your own? I mean loads of the music I like is Australia or American, so yeah, I guess. I don’t feel like listing a whole load of bands, though.

Do you think that Facebook is slowly getting less and less popular? Do you think we will see that trend die off in the next 5 or so years, like MySpace, or do you think there'll always be activity on Facebook? I mean, I doubt Facebook will be around forever, but who knows. It’s still popular around here and most people use it regularly, anyway.

Has the weather where you live generally been the same all week? Yeah, for once it’s been pretty same-y. Rainy overnight and early morning, then sunshine and blue skies, then showers mid-afternoon again.

What's one thing that helps you get through a really cold day? How about a really hot day? On cold days I layer up and snuggle up under my blankets - hot drinks are good too, or I’ll light the fire. On hot days, I wear as little as possible, use the fan and eat a ton of ice-cream.

Do your parents make you teach them how to use new technology? Would you say this is a pain, or are you a pretty patient teacher? They did when I lived at home - it was frustrating at times, sure.

When something goes wrong with your computer, do you try to figure out on your own or find someone to fix the problem for you? Would you say that you're generally pretty technology-literate? I generally figure it out on my own and yeah, I’m pretty good at it - at least at doing the basics, anyway.

What's one problem in today's world which you think is ridiculous that we haven't found a way to solve it yet? PROVIDING FOOD AND CLEAN WATER TO EVERYONE <--- yepp, this.

What's one animal that you can't stand or find cute at all? What's an animal that absolutely terrifies you? I can’t stand cockroaches.

If you go to the library, what was the last book you checked out? If you don't, what was the last book you purchased? I don’t use the library and I don’t remember what book I bought last either.

#survey #surveys

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ao3commentoftheday · 3 years

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Hello! I'm hoping you or some of your community can help me understand something? I keep seeing people talk about needing permission to make a fanwork of someone else's fanwork and that there are people who don't give permission for that, but I can't understand why that's necessary honestly? The entire concept of creating fanworks revolves around using other people's content to make your own, often even against the express wishes of the original creator. (The infamous Anne Rice comes to mind lol) I don't get why anyone that makes fanworks would have a problem with other people doing the same thing with their own works, it feels kinda hypocritical to me? I've seen some people try to argue that it's different when the person that made the original content got paid for it, but I've seen fandoms pop up around original content the creator didn't make any money on as well, like some podcasts or webcomics that were totally free and unmonitized, and no one seems to care about that. Plus some fan creators do make money off their fanworks, even if that's kinda iffy legally. Idk I just remember the days when entire fandoms used to crop up around certain popular fics, loads of other fanfic and fanart would get made based on them. Whether the creators chose to engage with any of that was their decision, some did while some didn't, and that's totally fair either way. Anyway, this is turning into a very long winded way of asking, why do people even need to ask permission to make content based on other content that was also in turn based on other content (usually without permission), as long as they give credit for any ideas they got from it? I guess it's a nice gesture, but I don't see why it should be a requirement or why anyone would ever refuse to give permission when it seems to clash with the very concept of what we all do?

This is a thorny ask, anon, and it comes down to different interpretations of etiquette, rudeness, and expectations.

Anyone can make a transformative fanwork of anything else, yes. But the difference to me isn't about whether anyone (the originator or the fan creator) is making money. It's about the relationships and relative power dynamics, as well as ease of communication.

If I want to write a fanfic about Shang Chi, I'm not going to ask Marvel or Disney for permission first. Even if I sent them an email or something asking, my request would at best be ignored. At worst, they'd end up threatening me with legal action and I'd have to get a lawyer to help me tell them what a transformative work is and how I'm not breaking their copyright (according to the legal stance that AO3 takes).

If I want to write a fanfic of someone else's fanfic, I can leave a comment on their fic and they can reply with a yes or no. Some authors also provide other means of contacting them, such as an email address or a social media account. If that author says no, they won't do it with a lawyer at their back, either.

Permissions statements come into play for fanworks like translations and podfics. Those kinds of fanworks could be argued to break copyright because they are a direct reproduction of the original work (albeit in another language or medium). Permissions around fanfic of fic or fanart of fic are just the author's personal preference - but that doesn't make them any less valid.

Some stories are too personal for an author to feel comfortable letting someone else write them. Some stories are the first step to a bigger idea that an author might want to develop themselves and they don't want someone to beat them to it. This is true for original works and it's true for fic, but the big difference to me comes down to community.

Fan creators (of all kinds) are in a community together. Published creators (of all kinds) are in a different community. Fan creators asking permission of other fan creators is the polite thing to do. Whether it makes sense to you or not, that's just how it is. 🤷‍♀️

#asks and answers

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everafterkeiji · 3 years

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well, I've been following you for a few months and I really adore your hcs, tokrev x reader stories, and I know that you are currently with requests closed but I had to write it down before I forgot lmao, I wanted to know how the characters of tokyo revengers would react (preference in mikey, chifuyu, baji maybe mitsuya) having a s / o fem that is very popular among boys AND GIRLS, I mean that girls confess to her, some prepare bentos for them or on Valentine's Day he has many letters and chocolates / cookies, sometimes even more than them, and as it would be if they ever hear when a girl is confessing to her or find letters in her bag from girls, obviously the reader is a bit used to it but they do not know if reader would agree to go out with a person of the same gender and they are worried , you can ignore this request is just ago that has appeared in my mind and I think you have similar jobs but they are just boys and the truth is I WANT TO DRAMA WITH A BISEXUAL FEM READER LMAO, I needed to write it and ask u! have a nice day / night <33

oh to be yn😔 i liked this request a lot so thank u so much for sending it in!! sorry if this took long but have a lovely day too ♪ヽ(･ˇ∀ˇ･ゞ) ♡ thank u so much for loving my work!! (づ￣ ³￣)づ also it was mentioned that reader could be bi so( ´◡‿ゝ◡`) also ily babe thanks for decluttering my head again @strawberiya

𝐑𝐄𝐀𝐂𝐓𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐓𝐎 𝐒/𝐎 𝐖𝐇𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐏𝐎𝐏𝐔𝐋𝐀𝐑 𝐖𝐈𝐓𝐇 𝐆𝐈𝐑𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒

PAIRINGS: Mikey, Baji, Chifuyu, & Mitsuya x fem! reader

GENRE: fluff, humor

♡ 𝐌𝐈𝐊𝐄𝐘 has his head slanted when a shy group of girls were murmuring with pink tinted cheeks on his way with Valentine decorated bags and before he can confidently stand to reject them, those same girls walked pass him, letting out a few squeals when they meet the one they've been waiting for which leads the blonde to blink, as well as Draken.

He turns around to see what was the chaos about and that's where he saw his lover being smothered in praises and gifts while you were politely bowing to thank them which makes them even more flustered. To his side, Draken lets out a cackle at the misinterpreted situation as Mikey huffs.

"Well if that isn't funny." His best friend mocks.

- He doesn't mind at first because it's what you deserved anyway. With all that mounts of love, if he was in your place, he'd feel pretty good about it but he scratches that imagination off because he's too comfortable in trusting you.

- Though, he is pretty irritated when you're carrying bucket loads of gifts and it sucks that they weren't given to you by him. He wanted to be the one to be able to give that all to you—not some mere classmates he doesn't even know.

"I could buy you all of that." He huffs, crossing his arms to his chest while you kissed his cheek.

"And you know I'm fine with whatever, Mikey."

- He would sometimes think it's actually a good deal because he gets to eat almost all the chocolates, munching on it when class is ongoing, opening your backpack just to steal some. "Babe, I don't think I need to bring money for school again." He says, nudging you, still a chip in his mouth. "How come?" You asked.

"Your fans have us covered for breakfast and lunch."

- Speaking of your backpack, he can't help but notice how there were stacks of envelopes on a certain corner with different designs on each of them. He knew it wasn't his business to pay attention to but it sure makes him pout at how you were being admired by lots of people but it doesn't faze him for the mean time because whatever was written there, he can agree since he too was a fool for you.

- Back to food, you were a walking magnet for it. When you're out in PE, thirsty and panting, there's at least three people offering you their water bottles and Mikey was left with none of that. You decline their kindness because you had a bottle of your own and everyone else awes when you let the blonde drink from yours as he pokes his tongue out to the audience because he knew he won.

- Some girls would approach Mikey, handing him folded paper while he points to himself as they nod and he was sure that it felt like a fever dream. "Are you.. confessing to me?" He questions and when they began to shake their heads, he sarcastically smiles at them, gently grabbing the envelope now that he got the message. "Yeah yeah I'll take this to Y/N."

- On his way, he encounters a few shared words coming from a girl and your nervous chuckle makes known of your existence to him. He peaks through the corner, his ears growing at the sound of gossip but when he heard he nothing but compliments to you and the genuine feelings of the girl, he realizes how you get this on daily. "I'm gonna say no." You kindly answered her as she nods and gave you a bento instead.

"That looks so good." Mikey suddenly says, looking at the food in your hands and the two of you turn to him while he waves awkwardly.

- The next time someone confesses to you and said person was a male, he will jump into the situation when he spots you two. Slinging an arm over your shoulder, a subtle glare with a squint to his eyes as he uses it as an intimidation mechanism.

"Uh.. Mikey-san-"

"No continue." He urges him, while you pursed your lips to hold back that smile of yours when you felt how he was trying to prove a point. The classmate of yours clears his throat, actually obeying Mikey's words and continuing to shower you in compliments but abruptly stops when he hears a hum from your boyfriend. "Yes, I know Y/N is pretty." He adds, agreeing to the younger boy.

"Can we be friends, Y/N-san? I want to know you more!"

"No." Mikey answered for you before you could even say the same thing. Both eyes traveled to him while you can only bid a glance knowing it was the right answer. "But can we-"

"No. Y/N-" he points to you. " 'S Mine. So back off, bye bye."

- He feels like he's walking beside a superstar. You were greeted by everyone you passed by and Mikey wonders if his purpose was to be a bodyguard. "Y/N, come with me. They might rob us." It was similar to when he'd start a Toman meeting, walking in the middle as the others bow down to him.

- He adjusts himself to get used to it because it was a craze—something that wouldn't go away even if he existed and besides, you weren't interested in any of them, quickly turning them down and returning the letters with your response but it does make him wonder about the possibilities that if you two broke up, could you possibly date those same people who liked you?

"Oi." He calls out to you, a stubborn pout to his lips while you turned to him. "Yeah?"

"Would you.. date them if we..break up?"

"Date who, Mikey?"

"Those girls and those boys who confess to you." He mutters, as if he was ashamed to ever ask such a question. You let your hand rest on his shoulder while the other was to his hair, running it through since he removed his updo. "Mikey, I wouldn't date them even if we did separate. Although I don't prefer much, I'm always going to pick you." With your words, he does give in—relieved at the thought of your loyalty.

"So that's it huh? You're really gonna let me break up with you?" He argues, crossing his arms to his chest with a scowl, marching away from you while you laugh.

"Mikey come back!"

♡ 𝐁𝐀𝐉𝐈 didn't pay much attention to the stares that you'd get together but when you were just strutting down the hallways, skimming through your notes to get pass a quiz you fell asleep to study on, that's where he notices a shit ton of hearts forming in their pupils, pushing each other to greet you while you look up and smile at them in return.

But even if the halls were scattered in admirers, your path led right to Baji who was awestruck as you embraced him. "Morning, hun!" You brightly greet him and there were tense eyes drawn to him from the front, glowing in envy how he was the winner. He pulls away, a smirk, happily kissing your temple, letting his arm drop to your waist then he looks back to the audience, a grin to showcase how it sucks for their situation.

- He can see through their intention and that gives him an advantage and an angel on his shoulder to tell him he shouldn't beat them up. He can't even argue with himself—the knuckles weren't mean for silly crushes but again, the counterargument was that it was you being confessed to.

- He trusts you a shit lot but it doesn't mean he worries less. It wasn't that clear at first because he belittled just how these people were in terms of their admiration to you but when he sees how there's a line, resembling a fan event, just to talk to you—he silently loses his mind.

- He will make them jealous since that was his only tactic to give a response to what he thinks with all of this going on. "Look at me, please." Baji says, tapping ur head while you followed through as he uses his thumb to wipe away the smudge of food on the corner of your lips and like he expected, there's a chorus of groans and comments saying "I wish that was me."

Which makes him pull away with a smile. "Got it, babe!"

- He would definitely question why you're not eating from the food of the cafeteria. "Well—someone made this for me... I just didn't want to waste their efforts." You excused, biting on the onigiri that a girl cooked for you. Baji scoffs. "That's probably not even as good to my meal! Can I have a try?" You nodded, handing it to him while you and Chifuyu eye his reaction.

The minute he took a plunge in it, his eyes drop to the table at how it tasted, a smile threatening to paint his lips and you and the blonde let out a loud cackle before your boyfriend returns it to you, trying to look unimpressed. "So—was it that good, babe?" You teased him, holding onto his shoulders with a few chuckles slipping through you.

"Definitely not... but can I.. eat that when you don't like it anymore-"

- When somebody confeses to you, Chifuyu would hold him back sometimes. It would be at spontaneous moments where you're just on your desk, fresh from a nap while someone sits on his chair, trying to let their feelings be acknowledged by you but when they had the guts to reach for your hand since you were still trying to shake up your senses, that's where his best friend lets go of your boyfriend.

"Oi, oi! Y/N just woke up, quit making moves on my girl."

"Hm? Kei? Oh—sorry, I didn't hear you, what was it?" You yawned, rubbing your eyes at the person in front of you but from your blurry view, you can only picture out Baji being bowed at multiple times.

- Another instance is when he usually creeps up on you when you're being handed a letter along with a few hints that they wanted to initiate something. His head is peaking through the wall, making sure he hears every word being shared but he realizes he looked like a maniac so he comes out from where he stood.

"Y/N-san you're kindness is—is—"

"What about it? Is it cool? That's Y/N for you." Baji says, entering the scene with hands to his pockets while you smiled. "I appreciate you for being honest but I have a boyfriend." You answered the boy as he sighs out of disappointment but takes the answer.

"Y'know I can confess to you right here, right now—even better than he did." Baji taunts.

- Now, if someone stepped the fuck up and there's balloons, heart shaped chocolates, literally a galore just to tell you how they feel, the three of you are dumbfounded—mind flying to space at how he prepared it all for you. "Y/N! Please take the chocolates even if you reject me!" The boy begs, while the social pressure was surrounding you. Baji notices this and walks right up to the other person, taking the box from his hands, giving it to you before he's patting your back.

"I know you don't like those stuff so don't worry. "

-Due to how many of them are there, it can't be helped that their envy for your boyfriend was flooding their minds to the point they talk bad about him, more so when they tell it to you straight. "Baji-kun won't treat you right."

"Excuse me? You don't get to say shit about him when he's the best that there is." You defended him and an interested Baji shows up from behind you. "But-"

"If you think telling me you're gonna do better than Keisuke then you can leave. What good is a confession when you're disrespecting my boyfriend?" And without a word, he turns his heel, walking away to escape your gaze while you let out a sigh and you were faced with a grinning Baji.

"I'm the best? I think that's you, Y/N."

- Returning back to how much he trusts you, the worry does die down when each of their gifts were received with no feedback that you'd pick them over him but he'd still be curious when it comes to you dating someone else. "Babe? I have something to ask you."

"Sure, Kei."

"Do you ever think about dating other people?" You leaned your head to his shoulder, clinging to his arm as you hummed, thinking about your response. "I'm fine with dating anyone but it won't matter if I'm not gonna end up with you."

"And as if I'd let you go." Baji comments, pressing a kiss to your forehead with a smile.

♡ 𝐂𝐇𝐈𝐅𝐔𝐘𝐔 has always known about it but he tends to be caught in a mess between being proud of you or being cautious because he's seen it in action too many times. "It's Valentines and you're getting more letters than I do." He pouts while you held his hand. "Oh hush, y'know your letter to me back then is still the superior one here but I gotta go to the bathroom first." You teased, remembering the day you said yes to him before letting go of him to leave as he chuckled until there's a tap to his shoulder.

".. yes?" He lets out when he sees a shy girl handing him a letter with flustered cheeks. He's looking left and right just to make sure this was reality. "I-well-I have Y/N." He stutters, new to the whole gesture while the girl nods, raising an eyebrow. "I know you have Y/N-san, that's the point." She answered which gave off a very bad impression to him so he reaches for his tie, using it to to clear his nervousness at how serious she was.

"Please—Y/N! Please accept this letter of my confession!" She suddenly shouted when you came out of the bathroom while both pairs of eyes widen. You shyly take it in your hand while Chifuyu is amazed and at shock so he mutters,

"... Huh?"

- Since then, he's keeping a scoreboard. He only has one point because you were the only one that was giving him sweet gifts for the day but when it came to you, you're up to 15—give or take.

- He feels intimidated. How come you're so... Bright? You were like a light that was attracting all sorts of people and even as you walk by, you're being stared or greeted by lower and upper classmen combined. Though, when he looks at you, you're not bothered and it adds to his curiosity.

- He tries to be comfortable with it but when he goes through the hallways, he can sense that there are hands waiting to grab you but what surprises him is that you'd always walk with him, hands intertwined and a smile to your lips because you were with him and nobody else so that eases him for the mean time.

- On the other half of what he thinks, he does find it cute. While the others were struggling to catch your attention, he was merely sitting down and you're already beside him in a snap. He won't lie and say he doesn't claim some sort of power from it. It was also the fact that they were throwing compliments to you here and there—that's the part where he agrees the most knowing you deserved everything.

- Occasionally, he will show off his privileges. When it's raining and some people were waiting for the opportunity to offer you their umbrellas, Chifuyu is already smirking at how perfect it is. "Crap, I forgot mine." You cussed after looking into your bag. Your boyfriend has a coy smile on as he grabs his own umbrella before a group could even step up to talk.

Pulling you by the waist as he opens it, just by the sight of your smile—he knew no one else could do it like him. You sling your arm to wrap around his stomach. "Thanks, Chifuyu." You bid him while he looks at all the slumped faces of the others. "You wish that was you, huh?"

"What was that, Chi?"

"Nothing, babe!"

- He'd even get Baji to join in, which was miraculous that he even agreed. These two were up to no good anyway so when their walking to their classrooms, they're going by a script. "I heard you were gonna take Y/N to a picnic today." Baji says, emphasizing on the picnic while Chifuyu has on a smug smile.

"Yes, yes, indeed. We're gonna have soo much fun."

- He will steal your food but he's sending a tiny glare to the people at the cafeteria when he finds an exact favorite chocolate of yours. "How come they got all of them? Hmp." He huffs but he still threw one into his mouth while you chuckled.

- He, along with Baji, would scout the corners of the school when you're out to get something because he knew someone would be hot on your trail so when the two of them find you with a boy, standing oddly calm, they feel like they nailed their search. "I've been admiring you for a while and I'd really like to know you more." The boy said, which still was a bit surprising to you knowing he was also popular.

"I have a boyfriend so I will say no." You answered. He lets out a defeated sigh but before he could leave, you know those butterflies made from paper that can fly around and shit, he gives you one of those which unfortunately made you smile at how cool it was. Chifuyu scoffs in the background, even Baji was amazed, which leads your boyfriend to come out.

"Unoriginal." He argued just for you to hear. "Y/N likes it simple." He added while you held onto his shoulder.

"That is true."

- He would question if he should step up his own game. Everyone who likes you seems to outdo him and its weirdly pressuring him so the next time you have a date after school, he's switching from his uniform to a way fancier get up than his usual taste. So when you walk out of the stall from changing your own clothes, your eyes went straight to him.

"Chi, you look so good. Are we going to a restaurant?"

"No, just to movies, cutie."

"Hm, you sure you're comfortable in that?" You asked him, noticing how awkward his arms fit into the tight turtleneck and how fidgety he was at the neck, adjusting it so he doesn't choke. You shake your head, coming his way, handing him a jacket you used earlier. "Just wear this. Don't get me wrong—you're as handsome as always but I know you wouldn't want to sit two hours in that."

"You're right. Thanks, babe." Chifuyu says giving in with a kiss to your cheek.

- He wouldn't ask you if you were willing to date other people—that's gonna make him overthink the entire day so he settles for subtle signs of your possible answer. He also doesn't want to make you uncomfortable by how he thought of such a question so he'll stay low for now.

- Somehow, he does get the answer he's looking for when you're looking at the letters in your room, sighing at how many they are. "They sure are nice with all of these." You ranted but you leaned your head on his chest, smiling when he wraps his arms around you.

"But you're always the one, Chifuyu."

♡ 𝐌𝐈𝐓𝐒𝐔𝐘𝐀 finds it adorable but he belittles just how your beauty was impacting onto his classmates. One time, he was simply leading the sewing club, checking everything they asked him to do, observing like usual but that was until a certain row of seats were lightly nudging each other when he walked pass them, endless chorus of mutters he can't comprehend since he was focused on helping someone. Much to their anxiousness, they actually stand behind him, tapping him on the shoulder.

He turns around, eyeing the envelope decorated in hearts in their hands as he sighs, realizing what was it about. "That's cute but-"

"Can you please give to this Y/N-san! We admire her so much!" They shout, bowing at him, shyness coming through their systems at how they asked your boyfriend. He stood frozen for three seconds, trying to register what happened but in the end, he smiles when he sees you open the door to their room, eyes intent on searching for his.

"Why don't you tell her yourself?" Mitsuya suddenly suggested, pointing to the door where you stood, waving at him as he ushers the two girls to go to you.

- He doesn't find it annoying or worth spending his jealousy on it. He finds himself in some of your admirers, looking like an absolute tool to be that in love with you and he definitely understands why they're all flustered to approach because he was the same.

- Because of the girls that were in his class that'd talk about you when he's with them, he feels like the sewing club began to be a fandom just for some of the members there. He's chuckling at every question they ask about you as if he was the president of your simp group. "Really? I bet Y/N-san looked amazing on your first date, Mitsuya-kun!"

"She was more than amazing. I even had my first kiss with her." He boasts while there was a mix of awes and envious sighs.

- He's going to encourage them to speak up to you. He finds it funny how they were hesitant to be around you so before you could leave him to go to your own club, he insists that you stay for some fan service. "Love, come here, I wanna show you something." Mitsuya says pulling you in the room as they take notice of your appearance, they're ushering to surround you two which makes him chuckle.

"This is so well done, Mitsu! Did you do this?" You asked, feeling through the fabric of the dress. He shakes his head, grabbing Kai from the audience to introduce you to her. "She's the designer."

"Oh I know you! Your work is amazing." You said, smiling at her while there are stars in her eyes as she holds your hand. "T-thank you!"

And no you didn't get to go to your club because you were caught up in the room with them.

- He's used to it by now. The girls weren't a problem to him seeing how they look up to you and all that but it even seems that his on their side. "Y/N's favorites? You wanna know?" He teases while they nod. "Fine fine, I'll tell but don't go stealing her and leaving me out."

- When it comes to guys confessing to you, he doesn't find it troublesome unless they're really pushy. He's spotted many letters in your locker, in your bag, even on your desk so if they settle for something like that, he won't have a problem with it.

- That is when someone gets too cocky to the point they're making too many moves and your uncomfortableness is invisible to their eye but it could never be like that for Mitsuya. When he sees you walking away but they insist that you pay attention to them, he's already pulling the guy off of you.

"I get that you like my girlfriend but pay some respect while you're at it." He comments with you behind him. "You okay, darling?" He whispers, turning to you when the boy left.

"Thank you, Takashi."

- He'd be the type to edge the boys that'd confess in front of you. He's in a corner, arms crossed while he eats a snack and it looks as if he was judging the boys performance. "You told her she looked beautiful twice. Don't you have any other compliment? Talk about her eyes then." He comments, pointing out a mistake while the other boy was dumbfounded.

- Everyone does take note of you having a boyfriend so it does shock him when suddenly they're giving him gifts too, especially when he thought they were meant to be given to you but was actually for him. You're just leaning on the door with a smile while he carries a paper bag from one of them. "Well aren't you famous?" You joked as he kisses your nose.

"You're one to talk, princess."

- He doesn't worry about you two breaking up or will he ever think about it because if he did, he can already feel the heartache that would consume him so he doesn't need to ask you for your preference from the number of possible suitors but he will make sure you're his regardless of what happens.

"Y/N, love, you dropped a letter. That's the last of your mail from your locker, you should give it a read." He says, pointing to the envelope to the floor so you pick it up, familiar at the handwriting as you read it, and every now and then—a smile tugs on your lips while he watches.

"Well, some guy named Mitsuya Takashi from TLE asked me to be his girlfriend." You commented, slinging your arms to his neck while he looks over the empty classroom. In return, he wraps his own to your waist, pulling you closer. "So what's your answer, Y/N?"

"I think he'd be an amazing boyfriend. Don't you think?"

"Oh absolutely."

TOKYO REV : @strawberrieas @kwrg @raya-sano @kimrena-stuff @heavensbeloved @rosewood1999 @beezebub @l-luci @bekky06 @keiisukebaji @manjiroarchiviste @smileysmileysmiley @tendo-shairdye @toshiswifey @thispenguinrocks @kleesboom

OVERALL: @stesphy @itsmeaudrieee @crapimahuman @meguroshi @floydenai @dai-tsukki-desu

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thegeminisage · 3 years

Text

john abused both dean AND sam, just differently. in this essay i will

prove that the abuse manifested in different ways for each of them because that’s how abuse works in real life. this is based on the fact that john saw dean as mary’s surrogate but once he found out about the deal and sam having demon blood he blamed sam for her death. ok let’s fucking go

dean as mary’s surrogate

there are loads of parallels made between dean and mary in early season spn and late season spn. in season 12 dean directly calls himself sam’s mother, but even earlier than that we see him doing the cooking and child rearing. compare that to all the parallels made between sam and john (both of them losing their blonde woman significant others in a ceiling fire) and it’s clear that dean was meant to more resemble mary. it’s not a stretch to say that if we can see it as viewers this is how john saw it in his actual life. i do think john loves dean for being dean but he loves him more for being mary.

sam as the reason behind mary’s death

i think once john learned that sam had demon blood, some part of him must have always been waiting for the other shoe to drop with sam, not ever fully believing this kid was human, and maybe not even knowing if this kid was HIS. a popular theory back in the day was that YED fathered sam (something they had to actually address in season 4 to stop the speculation), and if WE speculated that hard, surely john must have too. i’m sure he loves sam as an extension of mary, and keeps and raises and protects him BECAUSE he’s mary’s, but similarly (or maybe inverse) to dean, i don’t know if he ever fully gave himself permission to love sam for being sam. in fact, i imagine john harbors a lot of self-loathing for failing to save mary. if we directly parallel john and sam, that means by some extent he would also hate sam.

john trusted dean with far too much, and sam with far too little

dean knew about monsters; sam didn’t. dean had memories of their mother and the night she died, and shared that trauma of watching her die with john; sam didn’t. dean knew when john was supposed to be home and who to call if he wasn’t; sam didn’t. dean was given the money and the guns and the CAR ITSELF; sam wasn’t. dean was taught to drive; SAM WASN’T.

dean was expected to do everything john was supposed to have been doing in his absence - he was to be a mother and father to sam, he was supposed to protect sam from evil, he was supposed to see to sam’s meals and homework and getting to school on time. and he was put under an EXTRAORDINARY amount of pressure not to screw this up even a little bit, despite the fact that he was only a kid. sam on the other hand was kept on a strict need-to-know basis for his entire life, right up until season 1 when they reunite at last. john didn’t trust sam with ANYTHING, and sam knew it. this contributed to his lifelong anger issues because he didn’t DO anything to warrant that kind of mistrust and probably got gaslit about it a lot of times either by john himself or dean (unknowingly, by parroting/believing the things john said). even in the pilot sam says very casually of his mother “she’s gone,” because her memory doesn’t hold the same place of reverence for him - best guess is that john didn’t talk about her much to sam because he didn’t trust sam with emotional stuff either. in s14 we learn that dean was the one who told sam stories about mary, including her terrible casserole - and their attempt at recreating it infuriated john to the point of him throwing the entire concoction in the trash.

john relied on dean for everything, and refused to rely on sam for anything

canonically dean was the one who comforted john after a bad hunt, looked after and fed his brother when john wasn’t around. dean knew how to use a shotgun; sam didn’t. dean knew who to call in an emergency; sam didn’t. dean knew about monsters; sam didn’t. this was done under the guise of “protection for sammy” but turn it around and it’s also protection FROM sammy. think of how angry john gets when he learns sam has been having psychic visions. he’s not just angry that dean didn’t report it to him, he’s angry that the demon’s plans for sam are coming to pass, and that sam is becoming less human. again, he can’t TRUST sam if sam’s not human, and it proves to john that he was right all along to keep sam in the dark as much as possible.

john gave dean too much freedom, and sam no freedom at all

“watch out for sammy.” sam was under constant supervision by either dean or john; john made sure of it. again, it’s protection FOR sam but also protection FROM him, in case he did something inhuman or evil. dean on the other hand was left alone without any supervision at all for days or even weeks at a time - he resorts to stealing bread and peanut butter and (according to jackles) turning tricks for money. he had to make it work and got up to whatever the fuck he wanted when john wasn’t looking. sam had to LITERALLY run away from home before he got the simple pleasure of eating pizza and having a dog by himself, independently. dean was given too much independence and freedom but sam was kept on such a short leash he had none at all.

john made dean feel unworthy, and he made sam feel unclean

when dean fails to protect sam from the shtriga in the season 1 flashbacks, he says his dad looked at him differently after. he also implies that john physically beat him when sam ran away in flagstaff. whether he meant to or not, john made it abundantly clear that his love for dean was not unconditional; it depended very much on how well dean performed the multitude of tasks john assigned him. dean grew up believing that his only worth was in what he could do for other people. he demonstrates this an an adult over and over and over, from letting his possessed family members beat him up to refusing to take care of his own needs, emotional and otherwise, and snapping at people who try to talk to him about his own feelings.

on the other hand, sam talks in season 8 about how even at a very young age he felt impure and unclean, even before he knew that he had demon blood, even before he knew that there was any such thing as monsters. kids aren’t stupid, and sam picked up on the vibes john was putting off - that john didn’t trust him, might not have loved him, and might not have considered him human or even his own child. without even knowing why, he spent his entire life feeling unclean and inhuman, not worth of being loved by his own family. even dean, who we all know loves sam unconditionally, admits in season 14 that he often took dad’s side on arguments because he had “his own stuff,” further leading to the alienation that was sam’s constant companion growing up.

AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY:

JOHN’S ABUSE PITTED SAM AND DEAN AGAINST EACH OTHER

john saved dean after their shared trauma of mary’s death. dean says in season 1 that the reason he stopped talking was that he was scared. iirc john’s journal implies he was mute for over a year, and dean in season 2 says that when he was 6 or 7 his dad took him shooting for the first time. if mary died just before dean’s fifth birthday, the timeline works out to dean talking again because john took him shooting. i believe that dean hero worships his father because after mary’s death, and dealing with the terror that something like that could come in and take his family away by killing them horribly at any time without any warning, john learning to fight back against the darkness - and teaching dean to do the same - is what gave dean his voice again. BOTH of them saw and carried the memory of mary burning on the ceiling for the rest of their lives. “watch out for sammy” and “get the thing that killed mom” were dean’s reasons to get up in the morning, because they were john’s reasons to get up in the morning. these things were LITERALLY his reasons for living. john gave dean a way to fight back against fear and gave him a cause to keep him going. abuse or not, dean never stopped being grateful for that, and he was the only other person in the whole world who understood the unique horror of what john went through that night. even all the way into season 10, he tells other people that john did right by him. it’s borderline brainwashing. part of dean’s self-worth will always be based on how good of a son he was to john.

on the other hand, knowingly or not, john did everything possible to alienate sam. he kept him on a short leash while also keeping him at arm’s distance. he didn’t trust sam with emotional things like the memory of mary, he didn’t trust sam with the truth about monsters and what they did for a living, he didn’t trust sam with his plans, he didn’t trust sam with the truth about demon blood. canon STRONGLY suggests john knew YED bled in sam’s mouth as a baby, but instead of telling sam or even dean about that, sam had to learn about it in a horrible flashback recreated by YED himself. when sam wanted to go to school, john told him no, and when he left anyway, john told him not to come back.

this is an equal but opposite kind of abuse. john totally fucked up BOTH his kids in complete inversions to each other.

which means that, no matter what john did, it caused sam and dean to fight. this isn’t an interpretation. this is straight up canon.

again, dean says in s14 that he frequently took dad’s side in arguments because he had his own stuff to deal with, and he was trying to keep the peace. dean, a victim of emotional (and implied sometimes physical) abuse himself, was not able to shield sam from all of john’s bullshit. he could stop sam from getting hit and having to see john during the worst of his drunken rages, but he couldn’t trick sam into thinking john loved him unconditionally, because john didn’t love either of his kids unconditionally.

when john acted in a way that was not befitting of a parent, sam rightfully took exception, which forced dean (who was ALSO BEING ABUSED, almost brainwashed) to jump to his defense. that led to john getting to do whatever the hell he wanted and sam and dean arguing about the effects. when sam ran away in flagstaff, DEAN was punished, leading dean to resenting sam for that incursion, even though sam was perfectly right to want to get away from an abusive household. when sam did a normal thing wanting to leave for college at age 18, he left, and dean resented him for that because that meant he was alone to bear the brunt of john’s anger.

sam repeatedly made logical, emotionally healthy choices in attempting to break the family dynamic, but because of JOHN’S BEHAVIOR, not sam’s, those choices wound up causing dean harm. JOHN HIMSELF was the ultimate wedge between sam and dean growing up and beyond.

and let’s not forget the biggest sin - john spent 22 years impressing upon dean that taking care of sammy was EVERYTHING, and then without any explanation at all, he asked dean to kill him, and then he DIED, which meant dean had to carry that weight by himself (because again, he’s been trained not to trust sam with things). like of COURSE sam got angry when he found out - that’s fucking fucked up! once again sam is being treated like a ticking time bomb for absolutely no reason - he didn’t ask to have demon blood or psychic visions or a dead mom or an abusive father. nor did dean ask to be saddled with the upbringing of an entire human at four years old who he then might have to kill. because dean will always feel gratitude towards john, and sam will always feel resentment, and because based on john’s treatment of them BOTH OF THESE FEELINGS ARE JUSTIFIED, john continues to cause fights between sam and dean long after he’s dead and gone, and that will never change.

on a final note: i’d like to bring this around to season 13.

after cas, mary, kelly, and crowley all die (or are presumed dead in mary’s case) in the season 12 finale, season 13 opens with nobody but sam and dean and jack. dean directly blames jack for these deaths. he says so multiple times. he says where jack can hear him that he knows jack is evil and impure and cannot be saved and calls jack a freak. when jack tries repeatedly to kill himself dean says to jack’s face not to bother, because WHEN jack does go bad, dean will be the one to kill him. dean does NOT see jack as castiel’s child - he sees jack as someone who brainwashed cas and kelly both and got them killed. dean does not even see jack as a human person worthy of life. from the get-go, all he wants is to put jack down. jack is born into a world shaped by pain and grief and anger, where people hate him simply for what he is and who died to get him here.

and again, sam identifies hard with jack. he justifiably protests dean’s treatment of him. jack is a kid and didn’t ask for any of this. jack is terrified of dean. sam reminds dean that john said all these things about sam that dean is saying about jack. john is still causing a rift between his sons over a decade after his death.

eventually, after jack uses his powers and brings back cas from the empty, dean pulls his head out of his ass and admits that he was wrong. he calls jack his kid more than once, and jack refers to dean as one of his dads. but the damage has already been done. jack struggles multiple times with his powers, accidentally hurting people and then wishing himself dead after. he also struggles without them; even when using his powers means using up pieces of his soul, he does it, because dean taught him that he’s only worthy of being loved and trusted if he’s “good.” even when he has NO SOUL, when jack does something bad he panics about it and seeks to undo it at any cost. that’s how deep the damage runs.

i see a lot of people remarking that in the arc of 13.01-13.05, dean became john, and i agree that he did. but dean didn’t do to jack what john did to him. dean did to jack what john did to SAM.

[spn masterpost]

#supernatural #dean winchester #sam winchester #john winchester #jack kline #liz watches spn #liz's meta #liz's spn stuff #YES YOU CAN REBLOG THIS PLS DO I WORKED HARD ON IT.#WHEW. glad i got that off my chest #this is why u can't call it the widow arc #sam revisited a WHOLE childhood of trauma here #the arc is about all of them!!!!!#backtagging to add #broken road #brcu

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astaroth1357 · 3 years

Note

Okay, but like could you imagine how the demon bros would react if MC had a fanclub, because I feel like that would be wild lol

The Brothers v. The MC’s Fanclub

Surely, the italics blurb was meant for more than this! Any old letters in any order could have been strung together for the purpose of wasting space and yet here it is, a being brought forth with intent! With substance! The blurb has a need for greater purpose, but what is it to do when its sole function is to only exist?? How can it ever hope to fulfill its ambition when it's no more than a proto-intro to a fuller, more engaging story?! Surely… Surely there is a way...

Lucifer

He had expected a human in the Devildom would have been eaten… not popular!

The MC’s rise to the social hierarchy sidelined him hard. When he had assigned Mammon to guard their human, it was with the expectation of keeping hungry demons at bay… not ushering them through crowds of followers like a security detail.

Honestly, it’s more inconvenient than anything… The MC’s fans are actually worse than his own at taking a hint and he had to give the human a map of school just to find ways to avoid them in the halls!

They usually know better than to crash any dates that the two are on (this is Lucifer we’re talking about), but they get no privacy at RAD anymore… If he tries to meet up with the MC for anything, he has to go round up all their crazed stalkers groupies before he can actually say anything.

He’d expel them all if he could, but since Diavolo holds onto that power, he just gives any of them that get in his way an eternal detention… Can’t bother MC if you’re sealed in a closet, now can you?

Mammon

His possessiveness and his need to make money are at real odds with themselves…

On the one hand, it’d be so easy to milk these fools like no tomorrow! He could sell them practically anything the MC’s touched from old shirts to toothbrushes. Pictures could go for twice as much and if he could get the MC to give out hugs…? They’d be loaded!! Loaded, baby!!!

… But then one of them tries to get too close to MC and he feels the urge to sock him in the jaw… Like, they’re suckers, obviously, but the MC is still HIS MC. The idea of a bunch of groupies following them around… it gets under his skin something fierce.

He pretty much won’t leave their side at all at RAD just so he can swat away their fans whenever he gets the chance. He may as well be their personal bodyguard, the second a guy gets too close, Mammon will have him by the back of the neck and toss him out on his ass.

It doesn’t stop him from making money off them completely (this is Mammon we’re talking about) but he makes sure they stick to whatever worthless cast-offs he pawns on them. The real deal is his and his alone, ya hear?

Levi

Jealous boi is jealous and he doesn’t want to talk about it.

The second he found out the MC had their own fanclub he knew he hated them. He’s an otaku and a huge ass simp for people in both 2 and 3 dimensions. That means he knows what fans like this do to the people they idolize…

Just the thought of the MC’s groupies trying to get candid shots of them or going after everything from their pencils to their bathwater… Nope. No. Not allowed. Not with his MC anyway.

He starts going out to RAD more often just to stake his claim when those losers are around (yes, even he considers them to be losers… not that he has much leg to stand on but hey).

Normally stuttery and blushy Levi suddenly upgrades to a confident snek boy literally any time he sees their fans around. He’s gotta be touching them somehow and he’ll smile in their direction like a smug asshole the entire time. Yeah that’s right… be jealous of him for a change, you simps.

Satan

Dear lord are they an annoying bunch…

Satan isn’t opposed to the MC having fans in principle, on some level he even understands it. They’re a human in a world full of demons and that’s going to turn some heads on its own, but that doesn’t mean they have to be SO IRRITATING about it...

Satan will just be walking with the MC out in the courtyard and they’ll have fans practically nipping their heels for attention… He’d be much more patient with them if they didn’t insist on following the MC everywhere, even when they clearly don’t want them around!

Satan ends up becoming a second bodyguard for the MC when Mammon’s not around. Most of the club will keep their distance from him after just a glare but he’ll start breaking arms if pushed. Satan doesn’t play.

One unfortunate soul made the mistake of trying to take a bit of the MC’s hair for a spell and Satan caught him, scissors at ready and everything… No one talks about where those scissors ended up afterward…

Asmo

Actually isn’t as irritated with their fanclub as everybody else because, like, have you seen his? It’s just one of the joys (and challenges) of being so popular! Slay it, MC!!

Asmo is the only one who tries to encourage the MC to interact with their fans more because he’s experienced the benefits for himself.

Having a loyal fanclub can be so heartwarming at times! It’s like having a group of people always willing to pump to you up all the time - and who doesn’t need that?

Often invites their fanclub to join his fanclub to make “crossover” parties where they all can mingle together and enjoy heaps of praise! (The MC’s actual enjoyment of these “parties” is entirely up to their tolerance of sycophantic idol worship…)

Asmo does have his limits though. The MC’s lips really only belong to him and any fan who thinks otherwise will have to deal with the full verbal fury of the fifthborn… He has made several of them dropout completely…

Beel

Thought their club was maybe a little weird at first but tried to keep an open mind…

They certainly aren’t like HIS fanclub (who are just the sweetest people) but they liked the MC and he liked the MC. They couldn’t have been that different, right?

Wrong. Very, very wrong. They are nothing alike.

This fact became abundantly clear to Beel after he watched a few of them steal the MC’s gym shoes from their locker… Yeah, he’s not about these guys much after that.

Mammon refused to let Beel take over as the MC’s 24/7 bodyguard, but he did become the primary muscle of the “MC Security Squad.” If a fan gets a little too crazy, then Beel straightens them out with a fist and a smile.

Belphie

Heeeey, good job MC, you got some minions! Now you just got to learn how to use them.

At least, that’s what he says but he’s not actually going to teach them or anything. Does he look like a tutor to you? Too much work...

Whether or not the MC learned how to exploit their popularity properly, he doesn’t like it when they’re around anyway. Belphie’s a very, “Me Time means Just ME” sort of guy and having a bunch of losers following the MC around gets in the way of their lunchtime cuddle…

Unlike everyone else, though, Belphie has his own minions to do his bidding so now Belphie’s fanclub and the MC fanclub are having all-out wars between class periods. We’re talking fistfights, blackmail, and firecrackers. Shit gets wild.

Not that Belphie really cares or even looks as involved in any of it as he actually is. Little does the MC know that every time they pull him in for a snuggle, he’s probably just ordered someone to slash some poor groupie’s tires… Don’t fuck with the Sleep King.

#obey me #obey me shall we date #shall-we-date-obey-me #obey me lucifer #obey me mammon #obey me leviathan #obey me satan #obey me asmodeus #obey me beelzebub #obey me belphegor #obey me headcanons #obey me asks #obey me scenarios

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gimyeongbestboy · 3 years

Text

Tiktok couple pranks with Lookism boys

You doing the prank on them, or them doing the prank on you based on this youtube compilation of couples pranking each other on tiktok. Time stamps specific to the character is specified beside their names.

Characters include (in order of time stamps): Jake Kim, Samuel Seo, Jong Gun, Vin Jin, Goo Kim, Vasco

—————

Jake Kim (0:47-1:01)

You just came home from wherever you came from (school, work, meeting with a friend, etc.)

During your travel, you let Jake know that you were about 10 mins away

Within that time, Jake saw the video while scrolling through his phone

He thought it’d be funny to try it on you

When he heard the front door open, he made sure to open you guys’ bedroom door. He then proceeded to make hushing noises loud enough for you to hear while pretending there’s someone else

He heard your footsteps getting closer and he whisper yells to “someone” to hide in the closet

When you reached the door of the bedroom, you see Jake frantically trying to close the closet door

“Hi sweetheart.” Jake leaned on the closet door and tapped it as if he’s letting someone know to stay quiet.

“Hi honey. What do you have there?” Crossing your arms you asked him.

“Oh here? Nothing” Jake taps the closet door again pretending.

“Well, I got take out for the both of us. Also, I don’t know what you took earlier, but I don’t want it. Do tell that non-existent person in the closet to join us. I’ll wait for you in the kitchen.” You told him with a smile on your face and kissed his cheek.

“Whatever do you mean?” Jake asked you playing dumb.

“We both know we’re too loyal to each other to cheat.” You tapped his cheek twice and made your way to the kitchen leaving a dumb founded Jake Kim still leaning on the closet door.

Needless to say, mans was shook. If he ever want to prank you, then he’s going to have to stay away from those cheating pranks if he wants it to work.

Samuel Seo (1:02-1:18)

You got a message from an unknown number saying “I better not see you with Samuel again. Back off my mans.”

Curious to who it was you asked the person who they are. That person pretended to be Samuel’s new woman. She said that they had just met last week.

Samuel was sitting beside you reading over your shoulder with an eyebrow raised.

Humouring the person that texted you, you replied to them with, “I didn’t know Samuel had a nEw WoMan.”

Samuel scoffed reading your reply having an idea who it might be. There was a new and upcoming streamer who has been all over him that recently signed with One MCN.

Fortunately for her, she has enough popularity for her to be not locked up. Unfortunately for her though, you have enough power in One MCN to remove her contract if you wish to.

Anyways, you decided to block that person’s number, but before you did, you told them, “If you’re trying to get with my mans to get a promotion, then don’t bother. I’ll have you out of this company before you can even try. President be damned.”

You turned your head to look at Samuel only to see him looking at you. You smirked at him, and he mirrored your action. You grabbed his jaw to pull him closer and kissed his lips.

You have only gotten back from a trip in Jeju island a few hours ago. How can she have met him last week, when he spent every second of his week with you in Jeju island?

Park Jong Gun (1:58-2:27)

We all know that mans is mf loaded

He’s a walking bank himself, and his sclerae are not the only things that are black— his cards too.

He doesn’t really give you his card per se. Despite his lavish lifestyle, I feel like he doesn’t blow off his money recklessly. He gives off good financing vibes.

He shops WITH YOU. If you ever so glance at something for a second longer, he’s going to assume that you want it. You best believe whatever that item is, will be bought.

Did I mention he spoils you? Well, in his own way he does, and that includes getting you materialistic things.

You guys ever see those couples in malls or outlets where the bf is carrying his gf’s shopping bags? Yeah, that’s you guys. He carries all your bags, and he’s carrying quite a lot of them.

Though to be fair, most of the bags are probably his— 60% his and 40% yours. You told him you can carry your own bag, but he’s like “no ✋🏼”

He follows you to whichever shop you want to go to. He kind of look like your bodyguard.

When I said he follows you, I don’t mean walk beside you. I mean literally tail after you.

Mall associates thinks you’re his boss because not only does he carry all the bags, he also walks one step behind you.

At the end of the day, you kind of feel guilty about him spending so much money for you. That is, until you remembered the amount of stuff he bought for himself.

While you guys were at the mall, you sneaked off somewhere to buy him something. You got him a pair of Louboutin loafers.

All in all, if he’s your mans, he WILL double as your sugar daddy.

Vin Jin (11:37-12:09)

He thought it would be funny to follow you around while rapping

I guess it would be fine if you like hearing him rap all the time? I mean you’re dating him, so you probably do.

And ig it would’ve been fine too if it was just you, and a couple other people that can hear him. Unfortunately, that’s not the case.

He followed you around while rapping on one of those karaoke mic. Like the one that has a tiny box speaker installed? Yeah that one. Everyone in the area can hear.

Some of his lines are about your body and can be a little suggestive. You tried to get him to shut up, but he won’t stop.

You’d tell him that his flow isn’t even good and his lyrics are trash, but that would get him down bad. Plus, it would be lowkey roasting yourself if the lyrics are about you.

So you did the most logical thing you can think of. You grabbed his mic, smashed into pieces, picked up the pieces and threw it out of the window. You also duck tapped his mouth as a cherry on top.

Kim Joon Goo (13:10-13:32)

For the first time, and most likely the last, you were driving Joon Goo home

You thought it would be funny to park in front of a random big house

Well, Joon Goo thought otherwise

“Whose house is this?”

“Yours babe! You don’t know where you live?”

“What are you talking about? I don’t live here!”

“Of course you do!”

“BABE I LIVE IN A PENTHOUSE! YOU’VE BEEN THERE MANY TIMES.”

“Oh, you right.”

You tried to drive away, but Joon Goo was insistent that you stay parked.

“Wait! WHO LIVES HERE? WHO LIVES IN THAT HOUSE? STOP. THE. CAR.”

Well, you started driving away from the house anyway. You tried to tell him it was just a prank, but mans wasn’t listening.

He pulled out some kind of weapon out of nowhere and got off the moving car

You stopped the car in the middle of the road and tried to get him back in the car

Keyword: tried

“KIM JOON GOO WHERE DID YOU GET THAT?! GET BACK HERE!”

“FROM THE CAR!” He stopped and turned back for a second to yell back.

If you think you’re funny, he thinks he’s funnier.

Vasco (23:35-23:58)

At first, it was just a joke

You guys were on the bus making your way to the theme park for the school field trip

He was telling you that he thinks he might’ve shit his pants and was trying to hold in his giggles

Needless to say, it ended up being true

Jace had once again slipped in that laxatives he always gives Vasco

Unfortunately, Vasco felt the urge to shit during the bus ride

He thought it was just a harmless fart, but it wasn’t

He had to change, but the only clothing left is his winter uniform

Now you know why he was wearing his winter uniform in the middle of the heat 😂

#lookism #lookism x reader #manwha #jong gun #samuel seo #jake kim #joon goo #vasco lookism #jake kim x reader #jong gun x reader #goo lookism #goo kim x reader #samuel seo x reader

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mewberii · 3 years

Text

Streamer!Scaramouche [2]

thanks for all the support in the first part! i wrote a second part where scaramouche plays genshin + the reader comes in (i tried to make it as gender neutral as possible, so let me know if there’s something off!). you’re a close friend of scaramouche and also a voice actor!

i had been planning this since i wrote the first part, but because i was busy and uninspired i couldn’t finish it. but here it is and it’s actually pretty long (over 5k words...)! i hope you guys will like this!! obviously he’s a little nicer than he is in game but,,, for the sake of the plot + it being a modern au, it had to be done sjnfdskjf

He was selected to play the beta for genshin because of his popularity and tbh he really wanted to play it

The game hadn’t really caught his eye all that much when he first heard about it but he saw how everyone online went crazy over it (plus other streamers who also were selected to play it in early access kept talking about it) and he became more curious to know what it would be like and if it’d live to everyone’s expectations

However he couldn’t really play it until it was officially released because he had a very busy schedule, and when he saw other streams of people playing it he was,,, lowkey jealous because it did look fun

When it was finally released and the game finished downloading and installing, he went live right away

And since so many people were looking forward to seeing him play plus the game was getting so popular so fast, that stream of when he first played hit his biggest milestone of live viewers ever

ANYWAYS skip forward to further into the game

when it comes to the gacha,,,

we’ve established that this boy is loaded. he won’t hesitate to throw some big amounts of money at the game to get every single character and weapon he wants and get their constellations to the max

i feel like he’d make little bets (and it works as a way to thank the chat for the support) like “if i get (insert newest character) in the first 50 pulls, i will gift 50 subs”

he’d be SOOOOOOO LUCKY it’d make everyone who doesn’t play think that it must be very easy to get the 5 stars or that the drop rate must be very high,,,

so in the end he’d have to gift the subs and it’d be funny to see the chat go absolutely crazy because everyone is commenting at the same time trying to see if they got lucky too and got the sub

but the chat goes so fast that they can’t even see their own comment after they send it sNDJGDJSK

he’d end up turning subs mode on for a while because it goes crazy

and that’s when he’d see people going “I GOT THE SUB-” all excited and he can’t help but chuckle and congratulate them for being one of the lucky ones

probably another game he can use to play with some subs once in a while! they could play co-op and when he’s a very high level he’d go to the worlds of some of his subs with lower level to help them with whatever they need

SO, LITTLE SKIP HERE

this is where i want the reader to slide into the picture

you’d be a voice actor, and also you have been a friend of his for a very long time

he met you even before he started streaming and you were always so supportive of him, as he was of every and each of your dreams

in fact, he would have invited you over more than once to stream with him

people don’t say anything bc they’re afraid of scaramouche banning them (it’s happened before) + they understand it can be disrespectful... but…

some people lowkey ship you two a little bit,,,,,, you didn’t hear it from me. scaramouche don’t ban me----

so one day he’s making another livestream playing genshin (sponsored by mihoyo to promote the newest update and event) and they’re going to release a new character

AND he has told everyone that you are the voice actor of the new character, who will be introduced in the event and is also getting their own banner

so everyone is very curious of what they’ll be like, if scaramouche will try to get them (obviously he will, he has every single character…. the amount of money he has put into the game…. just thinking of it gives me the heebie-jeebies)

could he even,,, main them,,,,

spoiler: he won’t because he’ll stay honest till the end (and no hard feelings) but there are other characters that he has built up to the max just like them and still work better with the way he plays but he’ll still find a chance to use them often

he didn’t know anything of what the character you voiced would be like because you wanted to keep it a surprise and he knew his audience would enjoy seeing his first reactions

I think the character you voice in the game would have the role that Scaramouche has in the actual game, and their design would be fairly similar (maybe similar color palette) to the design fans made for him as a genshin character (the one i mentioned that he uses for popup notifs of subscriptions and all!)

needless to say he’d absolutely love their personality and the charisma you showed in their lines

of course when he finally gets them he shows everything about them including all their voice lines and he compliments y/n’s voice acting… that was the first time people suspected that....

mayhaps… scaramouche….

has feelings for you....

it’s in the soft gaze in his eyes,,, the gentle smile on his lips,,, his soft voice when saying “I think this one is my favorite line of theirs”

and just how BRIGHT AND BEAUTIFUL his laugh sounds when someone comments he should invite you and ask you to do that voiceline live for him and everyone else

he’d jokingly reach for his phone and be like “should i call them? i could”

(but he wouldn’t because he doesn’t want to disturb you, you may be busy, considering you still hadn’t replied to the messages he sent to you before he started the stream a few hours ago)

if anyone dares be mean to you saying you got the chance to voice act for genshin just bc of scaramouche

or implies that he did something to get you there he’ll get quite mad even tho he won’t speak up about it (he might if enough people say it)

people can see something shift in his gaze,,,, and he bans them permanently right away

it’d be kinda funny when he does those “reading unban requests” streams and he goes past immediately rejecting people who said those kind of stuff, not even reading the apologies JSNKJFNDSJKGNSDK

some people say he’s too strict about it but literally his stream his rules. people who don’t like him should just not watch him

and people who like him should NOT speak badly about you or doubt your talent and effort, which is what brought you that opportunity in the first place

one day he’d be streaming playing the game, he had been using your character and gathering materials to get their last ascension

and at one point he’d grab his phone and look at the screen for a second before putting it back down and saying he had planned something else for tonight besides playing genshin for a while

then, the doorbell would ring (before he could even close the game-) and it’d be heard from his setup room so people in the chat heard it and they’re all like???

it’s definitely not takeout because scaramouche never orders takeout when he’s on his own, he usually cooks for himself and just orders it when he’s with friends and they all feel like eating something different

actually, offtopic, but i have a feeling he’d be very responsible when it comes to food and like he’d cook himself proper meals all perfectly balanced and all- he could afford having someone cook for him but his house = his privacy and personal space so he’d rather do it himself

it’s like, past 10pm, so no way it would be a package or mail at that time

and then he says “we have a visitor tonight”

and then the chat goes crazy saying “CHILDE” “HARBINGERS” but mostly “Y/N!??!?/PLEASE LET IT BE Y/N”

AND IT WAS YOU!!!!

and omg you brought takeout--------

it had been a while since they had seen you in scaramouche’s stream and you didn’t have your own channel (even though there were many people who encouraged you to open one)

SO everyone was very excited

i feel like scaramouche wouldn’t be the biggest fan of eating on camera so you guys would put the food away so that you can eat it later on your own without an audience

and you two would just spend a while talking to the chat, watching videos

AND reviewing fanart and fanmade content together!! it’d be so cute especially fanarts of the two of you together, little animatics or comics of funny clips or memes from his streams of you two,,,

someone made a little felt plushie of the genshin character you voiced and the way you COOED because it was SO cute

only those who were truly paying attention were able to notice the soft smile on scaramouche’s lips and the way he looked at you as you gushed over how cute the little plushie is and how talented the person who made it is!!

also you’d tell him you saw signora make a stream where she talked to some of her fans on discord individually to give them advice on their life/problems (nothing too serious) and it was very funny and you wanted to do that with him someday

and he’s like “that… could be a huge mess. people could say some crazy stuff” and you’re like “NO but i talked to her about it and she said she got her mods to talk to them first and approve them before they moved them up to the channel where she was to talk to her”

and he’s like “still…….. what if people lie and then when they get to talk to us they say something-”

and you’re like “BOY!!!! DO YOU NOT TRUST YOUR FANS *GASP*” and everyone in the chat is also going “GASP” “HE DOESN’T TRUST US…” “IS THIS YOUR IDOL…..?” “SAY SORRY” (all good fun, obviously he’d love to talk to everyone if he could make sure there won’t be anything disrespectful said)

SO!!!!! you two say you’ll plan to do something like that soon and everyone is very excited, they can already tell it’ll be both super cute and hilarious

before he ends the stream, you two watch some videos together

some are about some upcoming videogames and he talks about them and what he knows and explaining things to you... he is.. so knowledgeable…

the way you look at him as he goes into a little rant about it… cinematic parallels with the way he looked at you before

ONCE AGAIN, people aren’t blind. they notice. but they keep it to themselves bc scary scara (the way i had to resist overusing this one joke with his name-)

so the stream ends and you two walk out of the setup room to go to his living room and eat the takeout you brought while watching something on tv

he apologises because the food is cold now, but you brush it off saying it’s ok, you had missed being on his streams and you two can just heat up the food again

he doesn’t look at you in the eyes as he mutters that you know you can join his streams whenever, and instead just says it as he makes his way to the kitchen to heat the food

you join him in the kitchen soon after and tell him you also bought something for dessert and put it in the fridge already before

and honestly he didn’t know how much he wanted to eat that dessert until it was in his fridge, so he can’t stop himself from sighing and saying “god, i love you”

there’s silence for a second, right as the microwave beeps as it finished heating the food

it feels eternal to him, but you immediately started laughing and said jokingly “of course you do! you’re welcome!”

he’s happy you took it as a joke because that’s not how he planned to confess (he didn’t plan to confess anytime soon in the first place) but at the same time ?? he’s lowkey offended inside because? you took it as a joke?? is it so unrealistic that you wouldn’t even think that he meant it romantically?

it’s at that moment that he realises that if he didn’t want to confess before, now he does.

he wouldn’t want anyone to know about how he let that slip because he’s sure no one in you two’s friend group even knows he likes you

but you,,, actually,,,,, were actually caught off guard too because scaramouche wasn’t precisely one for words of affection and he showed his care for everyone with his actions

in fact, you had never heard him say those words before but well- it was kinda nice- if only he meant it as you feel it- but he couldn’t, right? who’d confess their feelings so casually while looking at a dessert in the fridge with desire-------

that night, it gets pretty late and to be honest he’s a little too tired to drive you home as he usually would, so he asks if you’d like to sleep over

it wouldn’t be your first time doing so, not even the first time you stayed unplanned, and he had a couple guest rooms that you could use so you accepted

also, staying for longer meant you could keep watching some more of that series with him without worrying about it getting late

or,,,

“actually” you said in a low voice, almost a whisper, since it was getting late and you two had been in complete silence while watching the series “i lowkey still wanted to stream some more”

he scoffs but then lets out a short chuckle, replying in the same volume

“it’s past 2am, who’s going to watch me stream now?”

“i would” have mercy for his poor heart- “but i’d be the streamer too this time so it doesn’t count”

“what even would we do”

“can we play that co-op game you played with childe? it was so much fun”

had you not brought it up, he wouldn’t have offered that ever because? if he had recently played it with childe he didn’t want to stream it again and make it feel repetitive for his audience

(jokes on him because when genshin came out they put up with it being the only thing he streamed for over a week. they’d rewatch any game if it’s you two playing it)

but to be honest, he didn’t really want to stream anymore that day and just wanted to be with you, just you and no one else

he got up from the couch and walked towards the hallway, making you look up to him in confusion for a second, but then started getting excited knowing this meant he was going to let you play it with him

“i don’t really feel like streaming anymore today, but we can still play it. let’s go”

the next day, you two wake up around the same time and make breakfast together

scaramouche i feel is not very talkative in the mornings

in fact, i feel like he’s just not the most talkative in general. he’s more the type to listen, but it’s different during his streams because he’s doing what he loves and talking about what he loves

and when it comes to you and he talks more it’s because he’s talking to who he loves----

before you’re going to leave and you’re standing at the door about to say goodbye to him, he suddenly speaks up before you can

“do you want to go somewhere tomorrow?”

you raise your eyebrows in curiosity from the sudden request, but then smile at him and nod

“yeah sure! what do you have in min-”

“it’s a date” he said, interrupting you, which was weird enough of him (since he would never interrupt you), but his words were even weirder-

“h-huh?” you felt the heat rising to your cheeks, and scaramouche just repeated his words

on the outside, he looked so casual and just, confident- bUT INSIDE he was actually panicking a little bit

but just a little bit.

After a moment, you smiled at him again, this time somewhat more shily but also excited for your date!

“I look forward to it”

Just with that, you two knew you had made the first step

You weren’t just friends anymore

You two had hung out on your own many times before, in fact and as it was mentioned before, you two had even slept over at his house or yours many times before

but it had all always been purely platonic, and you guys had never even questioned that aspect of it even after realising you had romantic feelings for each other

he’d spend the rest of the day thinking of what you could do the next day, as if he hadn’t been brainstorming for ideas all night either

i feel like he hasn’t gone in many (if not any--) dates before

solely because he has never been interested in romance plus he had never liked someone or at least, not as much as he liked you

and even when he found out he felt something for you, he just always told himself he was okay with how things were, because he’d never experienced anything beyond friendship and didn’t feel the need to try and maybe ruin the friendship

SO he didn’t have many ideas of what a good date could be

he definitely didn’t want a cliché corny date, but he really didn’t have any idea of what was good enough for a date

(and if for future dates you want something he’d consider a “”cliché corny date”” he’d do it for you and actually enjoy it)

the last thing he wanted was to have to ask you what you could do for your date

1- because he didn’t want to show you any side of him that didn’t look like he always has everything under control and he’s always composed (as if you wouldn’t want to see every side of him, even his most vulnerable sides- you’d have to work on that with him when you two become official)

2- he… kind of wanted to surprise you…..

but it really got to the point where he really didn’t know what you’d like the most (or what he’d like the most too) and what he wanted most over anything else is to not disappoint you in you two’s first date

SO he finally texted you asking if there was anything special you wanted to do (and therefore indirectly admitting he……….. just really wanted to ask you out. so much he did it without thinking of what he’d do if you said yes--)

you didn’t seem to mind, and in fact you were happy he asked for your opinion

overall, scaramouche was very independent so he wasn’t one to ask others for advice, opinions or anything, much less for help regarding anything

“how long has it been since we last went to the arcade? we could go there! i heard from childe that they added new games!”

and he’s like !?!?!?? THAT…. is…….. the perfect idea

“that actually sounds perfect” he admitted, and the message brought a big smile to your face

“just don’t get mad at me when you lose at all of them” he sent right after, teasing you, and you couldn’t help but let out a laugh out loud

“the last time i won in your favorite game” you reminded him, and even after he read your message, he took a little bit to reply

(he needed a second to put the pieces of his pride together SJNFKJDS)

“don’t get used to it, it won’t happen again”

“we will see about that” the more you two joked like this, the more excited you got thinking about tomorrow

scaramouche was sure now that it’d be a great first date that you’d both remember forever

the next day, it was almost the time for the date and scaramouche was going to pick you up at your house

i feel like scaramouche would be very fashionable and even in his style he doesn’t try to hide that he’s loaded…

not that he cares about buying cheap clothes, literally he’d say if he likes it and it’s good (aka it’s not cheap because it’s made of something that won’t make it last longer than 3 weeks) he’ll get it

but it just so happens that many times… the clothes he likes most are from famous brands…

AND THIS DAY!!!!!! he’s putting together one of his favorite outfits because it’s a special day

it almost hurts me just how nonchalant he’d look on the outside, making it a little hard to know exactly just how much this date meant to him (because as i said he’s not one to be very vocal about his feelings or even his thoughts)

BUT i trust that you… since you know him well…. can see past all that and you know that this is not just anything casual to him. this is special.

STILL!!!! he’d try his best to not let the blush rise to his cheeks and show, as well as to not let his voice shake when he complimented that you looked very good

ANYWAYS i think i think Scaramouche wouldn’t be one for big pda

the most he’d do where anyone can see is hold your hand or put his arm around your waist

WHICH IS WHY he’d try to be all smooth (and he would manage) reaching for your hand and lacing his fingers with yours

he wouldn’t make eye contact because then he’s sure it’ll show on his face that he’s getting somewhat flustered, but he’d still ask if you’re okay with it, to which you said yes

the area where the arcade was is always somewhat crowded so when you two were getting there, scaramouche would tighten the grip on your hand a little bit to make sure you wouldn’t let go and you’d be pulled apart by people trying to walk past however they can

you know that if you two got serious about your relationship, he would want to be the first person to share the news with his fans

BUT since he was so popular now, you two lived in a pretty big city and now were at a popular area (+ scaramouche wouldn’t be the type to try and hide his identity because he’s never had people make a fuss when they recognise him)

you were a little worried someone would see you two and maybe take a picture and post it online and it’d go viral before he can admit it himself

because of that, you end up throwing back to him the question he had asked when he held your hand

“are you sure this is okay?”

your question confused him because he didn’t know what you mean, so he finally looked you in the eyes and waited for you to explain further

“it’s just- what if somebody sees us and recognises you?”

he looked away from you and back at where he was going, taking a few seconds to answer before he just shrugged

“i don’t care”

you softly let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding as you waited for him to say something, and almost missed the way he whispered

“as long as it doesn’t affect you”

for someone who seemed and actually tried to seem to self-sufficient, who appreciated his friends but was also okay on his own because he was absolutely comfortable with himself, he was actually…

more selfless than people would ever know, especially when it came to you

you two would have SO much fun in the arcade, trying every single game many times

this time though, scaramouche won in his favorite game so he lived up to his words

you two won so many tickets you literally didn’t even know what to do with them once you got the couple prizes you were interested in

you bumped into a couple fans of his, so you talked for a while

once again, you were met with suggestions of opening your own streaming channel, and even scaramouche said “i’ve told them that many times too, but they always say they think their streams won’t be fun enough”

and the fans are like “NO!! literally everyone thinks you’re super nice and fun!! of course you don’t have to if you don’t want to, but we’d love it!!”

one of the fans (exaggerating a little as a joke) said “i’ll be your number 1 fan i swear” and the three of you laughed, except scaramouche who just scoffed and smirked

“i am ALREADY their number one fan. but good try” <- scaramouche in his head. say it outloud u coward.

but at the same time it was a joke scaramouche chill pretty much everyone knows you’re their number one fan……. even though you think you’re so smooth………. they just don’t say anything

they were very nice and fun to talk to and you knew scaramouche and you didn’t really want anything else from the prizes, so you offered you two’s tickets to them

“we don’t really need these anymore so maybe you’ll have more use for them!!”

they got SO excited, the way their eyes lit up :( scaramouche is convinced you’re an angel but he’s also very happy to see how joyful his fans got because those were more than enough for the prize they really wanted-

so after that cute little interaction and having used up your energy for competition, you two leave and think of buying some ice cream or a milkshake or something to end the date nicely and to enjoy while you walk back home

the arcade was not exactly very close to where you two lived (it was far from your house, but even farther from his-) so he asked if you were okay with walking back or if you two should get an uber or something, to which you said you were okay

walking back with him meant!! a little more time you could spend with him

and he was happy you said that because he was feeling the same way and still didn’t want the day to end

we’ll see more about the kind of things he likes and dislikes if he’s released as a playing character BUT FOR NOW i really get this vibe that he’d LOVE boba tea

i even think he’d?? enjoy tea in general??? classy boy…

SO you two would end up going to get some boba

it was very touching how, when reading the flavors they had that day, he suddenly and casually went “oh, they have your favorite” and you looked at the one he was pointing at and !!! indeed it was your favorite!!!!!!!

he remembers this kind of details very well

you take the chance to talk some more as you’re walking home

scaramouche asks about your job with voice acting and you tell him that you actually have been recording some new lines for your genshin character lately because in the next update there’ll be an event involving them

he’s looking forward to it but he teases you a little asking if it’s okay for you to spoil him with such information

but it’s okay because it’s not like he’d tell anyone, especially knowing it could get you in trouble

when he drops you off at your house, he has a hard time saying goodbye

literally you’re standing at your door and he’s in front of you, a couple steps away, looking away from you

you don’t say goodbye either, mainly because you know scaramouche is working the courage to say something, and you can also sort of guess what he wants to say

you think of saying it first, but then think that it would make scaramouche proud to be honest about his feelings and confess first

“i’ve liked you for a long time”

you can’t help the smile that makes its way onto your face, unconsciously reaching a hand up to slightly cover it

“i feel the same way” you replied to him in a soft voice

he took a deep breath and exhaled it softly, finally lifting up his gaze and making eye contact with you

it was already dark outside, so you couldn’t appreciate the faint rosy blush on his cheeks well

“can i kiss you?”

your eyes widened for a second, not expecting him to ask and if anything, thinking he’d just step forward and do it

so you were a little embarrassed and caught off-guard to reply properly, so you just nodded and put your hand down as he took the last couple steps and his face was right in front of yours

he’d cup your cheek in one of his hands, feeling the warmth of your skin

you closed your eyes, and he looked at you for a second longer before he finally leaned in and closed the short distance that separated your lips

at that moment you both knew that you had been missing on so much more when you two just settled and were content with your friendship

but!! that was about to change now, so it was all worth it

after that, scaramouche would make clear that this would be the first day of your relationship!! and even if he didn’t say it with words, you could just feel his happiness!!

so!! after that, because of work you two got a little busy the next couple months so dates weren’t very frequent

or at least, they weren’t dates like the one you first had

but still whenever you two were free he’d go over to your house, or you’d come over to his to play, stream together, or literally just spend time together doing anything

he wouldn’t let people know you two had started dating straight away (if anything, only his other streamer friends -aka you two’s friends in common- knew)

but the day he said it, he wanted you to be there

SO one day you two were streaming and you were currently reacting to one fanart of you two together

so he looked at you and you made eye contact and it was like you two spoke with your eyes like

“do we tell them now”

“let’s tell them.”

so scaramouche would clear his throat and without closing the fanart, he’d say he has something he wanted to announce

everyone was excited thinking it’d be some new project, maybe involving you

maybe some merch??? and the fanarts had reminded him of it???????

BUT THEN he straightforwardly said

“y/n and i are dating”

and everyone goes aBSOLUTELY CRAZY

amidst the chaos, you two catch a comment saying “will you unban the people who shipped you two” and you laugh

and you look at each other like “did you read that one?” “yeah”

and scaramouche is like “yeah, i guess i will have to unban some people”

and when some get unbanned they’re like “fREEDOM!!!!”

and jokingly they’re all like “APOLOGISE!!!!!!!! SAY SORRY!!!” so he just laughs and you join them being like “!!! apologise!!! you banned them for it and!! look at you now!!”

so he ends up trying to hold in another laugh as he mutters a halfassed ‘sorry’ and everyone starts commenting claps and hearts and celebrating that he apologised. now justice has been made.

the rest of that stream suddenly feels livelier and brighter!! you two are laughing a lot and so is everyone in the chat!!

and also the new genshin event would’ve already just been released that same day so you can talk about some of your experiences with recording or what you thought of it

and scaramouche would let you play it yourself!! (he still hadn’t played it) and it was also the first time you played genshin live!! you’d show people the characters you have and everything and tell them some anecdotes

people would be SHOCKED because you!? don’t have the character you voiced!? D:

and you’re like “yeah… i pulled for them and used up all my primogems and… didn’t get them”

and your banner is back because of the event, so scaramouche won’t let this slide!!!!!!!!!! YOU WILL GET YOUR CHARACTER.

your luck is terrible compared to his so at one point you’ll literally feel bad for how much he’s spending for you to get it

but he doesn’t mind at all and everyone is having fun so!!

and once you finally get them you’re sO HAPPY and everyone in the chat is celebrating

and you think it’s over but scaramouche is like ???? what are you doing?? open the wish page again. you’re going to get them c6.

and you’re like oh my gOD PLEASE NO DON’T SPEND MORE MONEY ON ME FOR THIS

but he won’t listen and he’ll do it

so!!! he’ll always do his best to be the best boyfriend he can be for you!! so you better give him your heart!!!!

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact x reader #scaramouche #scaramouche x reader #genshin impact scenarios #genshin impact imagines #genshim impact headcanons #genshin impact fluff #genshin impact scaramouche #scaramouche scenarios #scaramouche headcanons

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strosmkai-rum · 3 years

Text

writing resources masterlist.

i have to admit. my first reason for doing this was to spite my brain because it wouldn’t write. so, instead, i made this.

so here. 160+ links. gathered from a million questionable google searches, and some more crawling through mobile chrome tabs for 11 hours. anyways, enjoy!

where to write!

some popular platforms:

google docs is my choice for writing. it’s free, auto saves, you can access your stuff on mobile, pc, tablet, etc., and great for multi person collabs + link sharing. but, you need internet to use it, and for big documents (upwards of 55k words) it takes a while to load on pc, and editing on mobile is damn near impossible.

scrivener is great too, and has the binder, which is great for organizing stuff. however, the mac version is way, way ahead of the pc in terms of updated versions. i mean, the pc version is still useable. and, it’s pretty expensive at $45 usd.

microsoft word is really popular, and used pretty much everywhere. there’s templates and you can save documents in different formats, and compatible with other microsoft office programs too. it’s also a bit complicated at the start, but tbh most software is gonna be like that. sort of in the same boat as scrivener, as in, it costs money. usually a subscription, but if you decide to buy it flat out, it’s even more pricy, but def worth it imo.

other writing platforms:

zenwriter 3 for windows and mac - $17.50 usd

focuswriter - free

libreoffice - free

credit to @scribeofred for help with this. she has an amazing writing blog that’s super helpful, so definitely check it out! and she’s a professional editor, so it’s coming from someone who knows what they’re doing.

writing by hand is great too. some people can focus better that way, or, if you have a drawing tablet, you can write get the feeling of writing, and have it digitally too.

of course, you could just type into your notes app, or ao3, or a tumblr draft post, but let’s not-

focusing!

spotify, youtube premium, and tidal are all great for listening to music. all of them, except for the free version of spotify, have a subscription.

but maybe music isn’t your thing! here’s some more stuff:

rainforme is a rain/thunder player with adjustable volume

coffitivity for café ambience

ambient mixer has a ton of different ambience, and even lets you create your own.

noisli has playlists for different situations and has a built in timer and editor.

asoftmurmur lets you make your own mixes with their own, generally nature-focused sounds.

tabletopaudio with a focus on fantasy/noir ambience

mynoise has a lot of variety in sounds, including a...black hole

forest is an app/extension that grows a forest, for however long you manage to stay off of blacklisted sites, and dies when you revisit them. good for studying or a distraction-free writing experience (if you’ve got the restraint for it), but if you need resources on hand to write, this might not be good for you.

moodboards!

wanna make a moodboard? lit! here’s some ways to get your images.

unsplash (my journalism teacher, out of all the people recommended it to us. regardless, it’s a great way to source copyright free and not-stolen images.)

canva is much the same with no copyright issues, and actually lets you design the board on the site.

adobe spark is also good and free.

now. pinterest. don’t get me wrong, it’s great for finding images. but it’s full of stolen images and all. so, maybe don’t source your stuff from there.

character development!

behind the name name generator for different ethnicities, includes other character info like physical stats, language, age, blood type, cause of death, etc.

16personalities personality test

character flaws

how to create a character profile + worksheet below

big-ass character sheet (that’s the name) for making a wildly detailed overview of your character.

the most epic character chart ever (again, the name), a 12 page chart for your character.

character archetypes

character questionnaire

a super in-depth questionnaire for all stages of your character’s life

character development

creating a look for your character!

so maybe you’re not great at drawing. that’s okay!

first off, there’s a ton of amazing, talented artists here, that you can commission to get a picture of your character done. i’d definitely point you towards them first, because you help support them, and you also get some gorgeous art too!

but if you don’t have the funds for that right now, here’s some generators, to have one regardless.

picrew’s really popular, so here’s some generators i found, with social media linked for credit:

sky: children of light character maker (i didn’t see any social media, just a link to the game’s terms of service) aka the one i use in my tumblr prof pic

among us character creator (@NetherHeartz on twitter)

icon maker (@lullindo on twitter/instagram)

another icon maker (tumblr)

character maker (tumblr, twitter, instagram)

girl maker (tumblr)

fantasy girl maker (twitter)

aesthetic girl maker (@rileydixondesign on instagram)

boy maker (@hellomadjackass on twitter/instagram)

another boy maker (tumblr, @GigiliJiggly on twitter, @gigili_jiggly on instagram)

western boys (@mosssygator on twitter)

and toyhou.se is great for storing your character.

prompt generators!

a list of different generators depending on what you need

pretty much the same as above

pretty much the same as above again

same again-

127 prompts if you’re writing about yourself

science fiction plot generator

random generators

map making!

cartographer’s guild is a website dedicated to map making, so a TON of resources on geography and landscape and whatnot.

inkarnate is for making your own fantasy maps, they have a free and a pro version but the free one is def enough to get going!

worldanvil is awesome for worldbuilding in general.

nat geo has an awesome interactive world map, with options to see a ton more info like population density, animal populations, language diversity, and just a lot of stuff in general for irl maps.

mapchart is great for irl custom maps.

this one is also good, a bit laggy and auto-generates a map, but def useable. here’s a how-to for it.

geoguesser lets you pick somewhere on the world map, and it’ll show you that location on google maps.

and of course, there’s the classic ‘spill uncooked rice/macaroni on paper, trace the outline, and go from there’ technique.

medication/wounds!

drug index to find specific medication and side effects

medicine name generator to make your own!

how drugs are named!

writing realistic injuries

writing realistic injuries 2

wound term definitions

wound documentation

interactive 3d human body with viewable layers

broken bones

bruise colors

entrance + exit wounds

gunshot injuries

stab wounds

blood clotting and bleeding disorders

blood clotting and bleeding disorders 2 electric boogaloo

general info on bleeding to death

deathreference aka the encyclopedia of death and dying, alphabetized

how to write gore and examples

crime writing!

poisons

the human body after death

body changes after death

corpse decomposition

killing someone (not as easy as it seems)

three essays on political corruption

criminal law

usa state laws

an fairly simple overview of uk law

legal system in the uk

more guides to uk law

used + abused drugs

a-z list of illicit substances

paper on drug use, trade, and prices

64-page long paper on economic and social consequences of drug abuse + trafficking

70 page crime scene checklist

illustrated guide on kitchen knives

history of combat knives

firearms