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#and i dont want to do that after everyone told me what their favourites are
horizonandstar · 2 years
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i say for the pokemon thing to keep it locked.
i understand that you usually get to pick in the games but with what you're doing i say keep it locked.
huh! ngl i didnt expect this. i thought people would prefer team options at the slight expense of the plot, of which i can patch it pretty easily but regardless won't work as well as the intended team
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maplesyrupsainz · 5 months
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˖⁺。˚⋆˙ur good for my heart | DR3˖⁺。˚⋆˙
pairing: daniel ricciardo x faceless y/n reader (she/her)
genre: social media au, established relationship
warnings: like 1 single sexual joke lol it's all jus fluff some mean tweets perhaps sorryy hope u like it
summary: in which f1's favourite couple has news to spite their doubters
a/n: making these is the most fun i've had in my whole life who else should i write for tehe
song
my masterlist
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instagram ->
yourusername
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liked by landonorris, maxverstappen1 and 77,978 others
yourusername jus checking in yes me & ricardo are alive
tagged: yourbff
view all 8,437 comments
user1 y/n having a hamster called ricardo is my roman empire
user2 no daniel?
user3 ikr & max is always in her likes it's weird
user4 they r obviously friends?
landonorris wtf is that
yourusername i know ur not talking about my gay hamster
landonorris get a life
yourusername homophobe
yourbff next time i drown u
landonorris y/n taking L after L in this comment section
yourusername i literally dont like either of u
yourbff
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liked by yourusername, landonorris and 3,547 others
yourbff no one is doing it like us happy birthday to the love of my life y/n/n
tagged: yourusername
view all 245 comments
landonorris haps baps yourusername
yourusername thank u babygirl
yourusername i love u so much omg
yourusername im jus a shell without u😭
yourbff i will always love u till my dying days & beyond xo
user5 has anyone else noticed y/n hasnt been seen with daniel lately
yourbff why the hell u saying this shit on my post get a job
liked by yourusername
whatsapp ->
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twitter ->
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instagram ->
danielricciardo
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liked by yourusername, maxverstappen1 and 203,574 others
danielricciardo happy birthday to the love of my life
tagged: yourusername
view all 23,658 comments
user10 i knew they were still together
yourusername waiting for a hamster joke tbh
landonorris the gag is this post is not about u it's about ricardo
yourusername well i am not surprised if i was a gay hamster i too would want danny
danielricciardo do u want me even tho ur a regular girl?
landonorris no she doesnt
maxverstappen1 she does not
yourusername didnt want u to find out this way
yourusername tysm i love u forever & a day
liked by danielricciardo
user11 she is so annoying
comment deleted by danielricciardo
twitter ->
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whatsapp ->
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instagram ->
danielynlover
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liked by yourusername, yourbff, and 3,023 others
danielynlover some of our favourite dan & y/n moments to remind everyone why they have been & will continue to be everyone's favourite f1 couple 🫶
tagged: danielricciardo, yourusername
view all 373 comments
user17 omg my actual parents
user18 i love how y/n always supports & shows up for danny no matter what team he's on
liked by yourusername
danielynlover exactly she is the most genuine wag imo
yourusername 😭🩷
danielynlover OMG HI Y/N
yourusername forever grateful for all of ur love for me & dan
user19 daniel ricciardo y/n y/l/n you will always be famous
whatsapp ->
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instagram ->
danielricciardo
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liked by yourusername, landonorris, and 547,372 others
danielricciardo baby on board
tagged: yourusername
view all 102,483 comments
landonorris couldn't even think of a joke for this one congratulations to my favourite couple
yourusername only took us getting pregnant to be freed from the horrendous jokes of lando norizz
landonorris i'll be back on form when i've had times to process the news
danielricciardo i told u 2 months ago
landonorris yes and?
maxverstappen1 congratulations 🎂
liked by danielricciardo and yourusername
yourbff i've never screamed so loud. im going to be an auntie
yourusername my baby is so lucky 🥹
user20 IS THIS REAL
user21 omg my parents are becoming parents
yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1, and 75,382 others
yourusername bun in the oven
tagged: danielricciardo
danielricciardo of course you snuck that hamster into your pregnancy announcement
yourusername he is nothing if not a stickler for a party
yourbff i love u
liked by yourusername
user22 the girls are gonna love this one
user23 running straight to twitter
lewishamilton congratulations ❤️
yourusername tysm uncle lewis 😛
yoursister y/n mama hasnt stopped crying since u told her 🥹🥹🥹
yourusername sending all our love to u all 👨‍👩‍👧
twitter ->
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time skip: many months later
instagram ->
yourusername
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liked by danielricciardo, maxverstappen1, and 124,593 others
yourusername she's here 🥹 grace evelyn ricciardo born at 6am 7lb 2oz with her father's eyes
tagged: danielricciardo
view all 12,294 comments
yourbff i cannot wait to meet her🥹
yourusername 🥹🥹🥹
landonorris noo hahaaa im not crying... you are..
danielricciardo embrace it
maxverstappen1 when can we get her behind the wheel
yourusername what the hell is wrong with u
landonorris this is too far even for you
danielricciardo stay away from my daughter
danielricciardo and my wife whilst ur at it
user24 WIFE???
user25 WIFE?? WHEN DID THIS HAPPEN
danielricciardo i love you i am so proud of you i am so lucky to have met you and to be loved by you my wife 💍
yourusername i love you u r my entire universe 😊
user26 who else will never recover from this
liked by yourusername
THE END 🤍
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sharkboywrites · 1 month
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Hello! May I ask for the BG3 gang with an autistic gn Tav who is. Very Very Large but also quite young (think like... Older teen.) who just decides that Astarion/Wyll/Halsin/Gale etc is their new favourite person and WILL NOT leave them alone.
It would be very funny if they just... didn't realise Tav was actually A Kid™ and thought they were just a weirdly clingy grownup. Except Halsin. Halsin would know Immediately.
Inspired by my dumb ass being enormous and this having happened to me irl many times.
Bg3 Characters With a Young Older Looking Autistic Tav
A/n: This idea is so silly I love it. This is obviously written as platonic because reader is younger and baulder's gate characters are older and I don't write weird stuff like that lol although I'm sure that's expected. Also also i did all of them together because I do not have the energy to write sperate headcannons for each of them, dont worry they all get their moment
Gn Reader, Child/teen Reader
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This was an... interesting situation
Everyone on the team assumed you were just assumed you were a bit childish for an adult
I mean could you blame them? You were massive, anyone would assume you were an adult
Except for Halsin
He could easily tell your age, but it's something he kept between the two of you, mainly for safety
Halsin takes more of a dad approach if you cling to him
He's very protective of you and teaches you new skills
He also keeps anyone else on the team from hitting on you, for obvious reasons, but wouldn't say why
He's also the most attentive when it comes to your autism, he's always keeping an eye out for you and helping when he can
It took the others longer to find, though
Wyll was the second to put two and two together
Once he realized, he grilled you about why you didn't tell anyone about it
He isn't too harsh though, and takes a more "fun uncle" role
He always makes sure to entertain you, he's the guy who's got fidgets on him just for you incase you need them
He also decides not to tell anyone for your safety after consulting with Halsin, but he does wish you said something sooner
Gale is the second to last to find out, after trying to teach you something about magic
He had questioned why you didn't know any of this, it was supposed to be common knowledge for someone your age
Or someone he thought was your age
He just stared at you blankly for a good minute after you told him how old you actually were
He's more upset at himself for not noticing to be honest
He realizes how that actually makes a lot of sense
Gale, like Halsin, also takes a more fatherly approach
he teaches you things you may have not known before, and is one of the most helpful when it comes to working through your autism
He's a knowledgeable man and can tell what you need, probably before you do
He's very protective, often insisting that you stay out of battles, but it's not like you listen to him in that department
For comedy's sake, Astarion is the last to find out, and he is pissed
He's mad that no one told him, even if it wasn't too long Gale found out and most of the party knew
He looked so dumbfounded when he found out and like Gale, was more mad that he didn't realize sooner
He's upset, but he gets over it quickly after a day or two of snarky comments and like Wyll, takes on a cool uncle postion
The whole party suddenly wants to protect you and it's suddenly become one of their top goals to return you to your parent/guardian if you have one, next to y'know, getting the worms out of your head
If you don't have somewhere to go they may or may not argue on who takes you once it's all over
Generally, you're taken good care of from then on, much better than you were before
Everyone's very attentive to you and tries to be aware of what you may need at any given point
Since they all have some type of trauma, they want to make sure the same doesn't happen to you, especially so young
Being in this situation is stressful for anyone, let alone a child, and a child with a disability
They do their best to make you happy and keep you safe
They may struggle, but they do their best, and now you have people to call family
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savannahsdeath · 9 months
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TEACHER!ELLIE WILLIAMS X STUDENT!READER
PART 1ONE
part 2two
mdni please<3
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summary: you stay with your teacher - ellie because youre sure she didnt grade your exam correctly. she turns out to be easy to spend time with, even though youre her student
warnings: 18+ please!!
writers note: calling ellie 'miss williams' kinda cringes me but ig thats how it is.. before yall attack me or smthn reader is not a minor so its all legal also i imagine this is like the last grade of highschool?? i dont know what age it is in usa since im polish and yeah it would be legal for us but maybe not in america so idk😭😭
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Ellie Williams was a teacher in your college, most students' favourite. She wasn't boring or too strict although she was serious about her lessons and she always made sure everyone listens. The point is, everyone wanted to listen.
You loved how passionate she is about her job. You could tell sharing her knowledge with next generations makes her proud. The rest of the students mostly liked her for her looks. She was attractive, even for you, especially when she was looking at you from under her glasses. Oh, god, her glasses... And the way she adjusts them with her slim fingers... Yes, she was definitely attractive. And pretty young, as for a teacher. But the way all of those stupid frat boys made clearly sexual comments about her was making you want to throw up.
You never missed her lessons and you were her best student. You could tell she appreciates the way you look honestly interested in her lessons. That's why you were surprised when you suddenly got a D from an assignment.
You stayed after class to talk with her about it. Something was off. You stayed the whole night to do it, with blood, sweat and tears.
You found her in her office, reading some papers. After saying simple 'good afternoon' you sat in a chair in front of her desk. She dropped the papers that turned out to be your assignment.
"I was just about to talk to you." She sternly said, not looking in your direction. "Why are you helping him?"
You had no idea what she's talking about, so you stayed quiet, letting her talk.
"You've always been so responsible - straight A's, making the presentations in time. Did he pay you? Be honest, I won't report it anywhere. Luke wouldn't do that himself."
You frowned. "I'm sorry, I don't understand. What does Luke has to do with this?"
Luke was your talking stage. You weren't interested in him but he was in you and that's it. Your opinion didn't matter. He was popular and you wanted to have good reputation so you allowed him to do... whatever.
Miss Williams showed you two papers. One was yours, the other... based on the handwriting - Luke's.
"Look at the signatures." She ordered. "How did it happen? No bullshit."
They were swapped. Luke's work, graded for a D, had your name on it.
"That's an interesting word to use for a teacher. Umm... Yeah, I don't..." You started stuttering, not knowing what to say. You often helped him out but not this time.
"Just admit you helped him and I'll give you your A. Easy as that." She finally looked up at you. Her glasses reflected the light in a way that made it hard to look her in the eyes, so you wasn't able to tell what she's thinking. Was she judging you or are you just paranoid?
"I told him to give you my assignment since he was staying in your class longer, I swear, I didn't-" You sighed. "He had to... How could he..." You continued mumbling.
"Sh, shh... I can tell it's your handwriting. I just thought you did it on purpose." She said in a reassuring voice.
"Will he have any problems? It's not a big deal, so if we could just..." You looked at her with your doe eyes, nervously biting your bottom lip. The way she was looking at you made you understand why were the other students all over her. You took a deep breath, trying to gather your mind, embarrased you even thought about her in a... romantic... way.
"Okay, my dear. Here's your well earned A." She showed you a new copy of the assignment with an A grade written at the top. You also notice her fingers slightly grazing your hand as she does so. the same fingers you used to imagine touching you in such an intimate way "Now, if it's not a big secret, why are you even worried about Luke? For him, a better grade is more important than you. But if you really like him, I may group you both together in the next presentation."
"No, I don't, it's not that..." You quickly explained. "It's just... I don't even know. He's just everywhere I go."
You could tell something was off when Miss Williams mentioned Luke. She never did speak poorly about any of your classmates, not even once - it's simply unprofessional. But, this time, she seemed irritated, perhaps even annoyed.
"I'm glad to hear that, he's no good for you. He obviously wants more than an assignment swap." She put all of the papers back into her file. Suddenly, she leaned in towards you. Not too close, but way closer than she was before. "You look nervous."
"I am." You admitted quietly. Your heart starts beating fast. She's never been this close before. You both met after classes before and she was friendly, sure, but never this... interested. She made it to the point you didn't saw her as a professor anymore, just a woman, maybe even potential... girlfriend.
"I can help you with that stress if you'd like." She says, her voice barely above a whisper.
You couldn't resist her. She leans in closer, until your faces are so close together that your breaths become one and if it wasn't for the desk, your bodies would be pressed together. The moment she touches your cheek, you can't resist anymore and kiss her back. She takes your hands and presses them against the back of her head, pulling you closer as she deepen the kiss.
You never felt this way before. This doesn't feel wrong, it's... exciting. She's exciting.
You hear a faint sound from outside. Someone trying to open the door.
Miss Williams quickly straightens up: she straightens her clothes, fixes her hair, and picks up her papers. Then, with a deep breath, she answers the knock.
"Hello... Can I help you?" She opens the door.
It's Luke, standing there with a wide smile on his face.
"Luke? What are you doing here?" Your eyes flicked from Luke to the teacher and back again, not understanding what's happening.
"I just realized I forgot my bag at class today, so I dropped by to pick it up. But I see you have company." He looks at you and gives you a subtle wink.
"Oh, don't worry. I was just giving her assignment back an A. The A she deserves." She says with a nervous laugh.
"Yeah, exactly, Luke. I know you swapped our assignments." Your eyes lingered at him for longer this time, as you saw he knows something so you tried changing the topic to more formal one.
"I... uhh... no, I didn't do that." He replies nervously, his tone and body language giving him away.
Miss Williams looks at you with an expression that conveys "I can't believe this is happening."
You continue; "Look, Miss Williams found our assignments mixed up. Mine... with your D grade on it... and yours, with my A on it."
Luke shifts uncomfortably, realizing he's been found out. "Oh... well... I guess I'll just be on my way then." He says awkwardly.
"Just take your bag and go before I change my mind and not be so nice." Your teacher said, making eye contact with you instead of him.
Luke quickly grabs his bag and scurries away.
Miss Williams sighs and closes the door. "What a little... trouble maker." She says with a smile. She walks towards you and stands in front of you, facing you directly. "I hope he didn't bother you too much." She says softly, her tone carrying a slight flirty vibe.
You smile and shake your head, even though the truth is he did.
"You should go now, I don't want your parents worrying. Visit me here from time to time though, 'kay?" She smirks, stroking your hair.
"Yes, ma'am." You reply, trying to be playful but failing in your nervousness. "I will... umm... see you at class tomorrow."
"I'll be looking forward to it." She replies, a grin on her face as she stares deep into your eyes.
As you leave, you try to remain composed, but you're melting inside.
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princessbrunette · 3 months
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i'm thinkin heavily on our rival jayj n rafe au where the kook has dragged you to some rager of a party at another sprawling mansion n just maybe you drank a little more than used to - or even pressured into a few pills you don't know the name of n rafe is coked out somewhere. obvi gonna call jayj to the rescue, havin him search the grounds of this place n dodging random chicks til he finds you hazy eyed n confused in some corner - 🍓
✧˖°.🩷✧˖°.
you don’t remember having texted jj, because it’s a pleasant surprise when you see him — somewhere in the back of your mind questioning why on earth he’d be at a party like this.
rafe had dragged you here, and briskly disappeared into the night as business called to him, surrounded at a coffee table by rich folks with the urge to vacuum powder up their noses. rafe needed the money, even having complained about this ‘barry’ character on the way to the party — hence why he was just so eager to ditch you to make some. you clutch your arms in the corner, feeling simultaneously cold and boiling hot. you don’t remember what you’ve ingested, if anything at all — maybe you just took a red solo cup of alcohol to the head too many — but you were certainly feeling it, whatever it was.
your vision of jj prying a drunk girl who had thrown herself towards him off his torso with a wince, distorts suddenly to the blonde squatting right infront of you, and you blink a few times before you realise you’re not just watching him through a lens, and that he was infact looking right back at you.
“jayj, what are you doin’ here?” you smile, eyes soft and full of fondness — that’s how you feel anyway, to him you look totally out of it as you shiver in an abandoned corner.
“i’m uh— i’m here for you cupcake. texted me, remember?” his eyes dart up and down you, trying to suss out what sort of state you were in. your glossy pout presses together in a blissed out smile and you shake your head slowly, displaying zero recollection. “alright well, i’m gettin’ your lil ass out of here.”
you’re walking suddenly, no — not quite, being guided with a firm hand on your waist. jj is driving you through crowds of people, his voice is clear, the blonde in the cap confidently barking out commands to make way.
“kook princess comin’ through. valuable cargo. beep beep, thank you.”
his familiar goofiness sends you into a spell of giggles as you arrived on the lawn, jj allowing you to drop to sit on the step on the quiet porch. he’s wearing a zip up hoodie, but it quickly ends up around your shoulders as you sniffle happily at the night sky, turning your cheek to gaze your hazy eyes into his own.
“you look after me, jayj.” you observe obviously and he blinks, shrugging a shoulder and shuffling on his ass as he gets situated beside you.
“think i’m just gonna leave a lady in distress when she texts me to come get her? hell nah. kie told me that’s like, fuckin’… bad karma or whatever.” he chats, looking you over once more as he watches your body rise and fall with slow breaths. “what’d you take?”
“dont remember. jus’ remember rafe leavin’.” you hum, detached.
“babe, he’s — he is a total asshole. why the hell do you hang with him? enlighten me. i’m beggin’ for some clarity here.”
you turn and look at him again, really look at him this time like it’s the first time you’re seeing him. your voice is detached and yet totally present at the same time, the harrowing realisation of your evening weighing down on you.
“i… dont know, jj.” after a pause he breaks the silence, not wanting to throw you into a bad mindset— he was everyone’s favourite trip-sitter after all.
“s’alright, sunshine. you were lead astray tonight. it happens. lucky for you, your ol’ pal jj is here to save the day.” he chuckles uneasily, craning his neck round to look back at the house party in motion. where could he find a bottle of water to feed you?
“you’re more than a pal, jj.” you sigh and his head snaps towards you.
“y— say uh— say that again, sugar?” he frowns, needing to be sure he heard that correctly. in an instant, you’re distracted by a stain on your skirt and you tsk, tugging at the material.
“ohh, what happened?” you whine, rubbing at the muddy splatter on your clothes. he’ll pocket that comment for another time.
✧˖°.🩷✧˖°.
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bbunivxrse · 4 months
Note
AHHH I LOVED UR "HATED HIM" GOJO FIC ITS SO CUTEE🥹 I WANNA SEE A PART 2!! im curious will the reader date gojo or js continue to hate him lmao
❥ IMPROVEMENTS - SATORU GOJO
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pairing: gojo x f!reader contents: pt 2 to this fic although you dont need to read it to understand this one. no warnings js fluff here !!! word count: 2.5k on the DOT a/n: HII NONNIE IM SSOOO HAPPY U LIKED IT!!! im sorry this took so long ive been busy with work and exams coming up :( hopefully i can post more often soon :((( ANYWAZ ENJOY
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so maybe you don’t hate Satoru Gojo. not anymore. since that moment you shared with him, you thought everything would go back to normal, and for the most part it did. well, you think it did, but everyone else saw the changes clear as day.
as time passed, from an outside perspective it seemed like the two of you suddenly had a… “stable” friendship. both “stable” and “friendship” being used very very loosely. although gojo prefered “happy relationship” and “loving marriage”. the yelling matches (you yelling at gojo while he just sits there and smiles like an idiot) that used to occur multiple times daily went down to only once a day, if at all. you didn’t seem to shoo him away as much or rant about how annoying he is. it was almost like you were warming up to him.
if nobody knew what had happened between the two of you it would’ve seemed like a random switch that went off one day, except everyone did know what happened, cuz gojo’s big mouth went and told everyone the next fucking day. to escape being made fun of to no end, you told everyone you only kissed him so he’d shut up and there was no feelings beyond that, which was half true. the other half of you knew that being all bandaged up by him after a mission gone wrong, sitting in his bed while he tells you how much he cares about you, a man who’d usually piss you off and act all goofy. to see him like that was like a breath of really fresh air and kinda changed the way you saw him.
obviously he was still super annoying and pissed you off, but he seemed to finally get the memo and tuned it down so that it was actually manageable. his laugh was suddenly cuter, his face was less punchable and his flirting was almost starting to fluster you. almost. he still made those stupid comments and monologues for waaayy too long but he got a lot sweeter in his teasing and actions. he somehow found out what your favourite foods and places to eat were and bought you food after long days of school, training sessions and missions and took you to places around tokyo on outings “dates”. your friendship with him was finally tolerable. 
waking up on a sunday morning, you hear the sound of buzzing from your phone on your bedside table. 
incoming call from gojo.
its way too early for him to be bothering you already, but you know very well that if you don’t pick up now he’ll keep calling til you do. you silently curse shoko for giving him your number when he asked her, since he already knew you’d say no to him. “what do you want?” you answer his call, putting the phone to your ear as you sit up in bed. “good morning to you too i guess..” you can hear the pouting in his voice. “what are you up to today??” 
“i’m training a bit with nanami and haibara later.” you check the clock on the table, mentally starting to plan when you’re gonna start getting ready to meet the two of them. “nanami!? why would you train with him!? he doesn’t know anything.” he seemed to completely tune out the second name you mentioned
“he knows more than you.” you laugh at his dramatic gasp over the phone, picturing the look on his face. “whateverrrr. you should train with me instead!” 
“no.” 
“what!? why not?? im soooo much better than him!” you can hear the passion in his voice and you begin to wonder how he can have so much energy so early in the morning, especially on a sunday. “please humble yourself, and i already told nanami i’d train with them anyway.” you glance back at your clock, continuing to consider how long you can stay in bed for. “fiiineee. we can train together next time. what’re you doing after that?” 
“after training i’m gonna…” your voice trails off as you think back to earlier this week, trying to recall if you had made any other plans with anyone for today. “not doing anything later. i’m probably gonna go back to my dorm.” you confessed, forgetting exactly who you were on the phone with. “oh so you’re free later? perfect! we sh-“ 
“no, i’m not free. i’m going back to my dorm gojo. and i’m staying there. all day.” you make sure to give him the details of your plan to stay in your room so he doesn’t have any wiggle room to plan anything. “hmmmm.. okay! ill just come over then!” 
“what?? n-“ 
“cyalaterbye!!” you hear the phone beep as he hangs up, now looking down at your lock screen. 'god he’s sooo annoying.'
getting out of bed after looking down at your clock again, you decide you have more than enough time to watch a bit of the show you’ve been catching up on. maybe about two and a half episodes?
checking the time halfway through the first episode, you decide you’re not in the mood to continue watching and you’ll watch a movie instead after training. you get up and begin getting ready for the scheduled training session you had, lightly fixing up your hair so you looked presentable and throwing on your uniform before heading out. 
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training with nanami and haibara went well, and you were all surprised gojo didn’t show up to bother you but you figured he was busy with his own thing. coming home you immediately threw your uniform onto the floor and went to take a shower, feeling all gross and sweaty. ‘ill pick it up later.’
you turn the water on, allowing it to get hot before stepping into the shower. you decided to use your favourite body wash that smelled like heaven in a bottle, the scent filling up the entire bathroom and making all the air around you smell like your favourite fragrance. you linger in the shower for a bit, the hot water feeling therapeutic against your skin. once you were done you headed back to your room, throwing on some comfy flared sweats and a random tank top from your wardrobe. looking in the mirror, the outfit was surprisingly cute, and really comfortable.
in a good mood from the nice shower and already feeling pretty after only putting on some  random clothes, you decided to have fun and do some light makeup. maybe you’ll run a few errands later? you were a bit low on snacks at the moment.
finishing off your makeup with a pretty lipgloss, you look in your little snack drawer to see what you had left. some gum, a few candies and one bag of your favourite chips you’re planning to save. maybe it was time to restock. 
you throw on a light jacket and grab your bag, gathering your essentials and getting your shoes on before leaving your dorm. you decided to go to the little convenience store only a few minutes away since they had all the snacks you like. 
within a few minutes you made it to the store, picking out a bunch of snacks and candies you liked. as you were looking at the new flavours of candy they had, the bell by the door jingled as someone entered the store. “y/n!!” you heard a familiar voice behind you. “why are you here?? you said you were staying in your dorm. all day.” gojo mocks the tone you used with him on the phone earlier. “i changed my mind. why are you here?” 
“satoru wanted to get some candy on the way home.” suguru appears from behind him, giving you a smile and a polite wave. “hmm.. they have a nice selection here, what do you think i should get?” gojo puts a hand to his chin as he looks through all the candies. “the sour green apple candy from this brand is really good. and the lemon flavour too, they’re my favourites.” you say as you point to the candies. “then they’re my favourites too,” gojo immediately picks up two of each flavour you recommended, before picking a few other candies he knows you like.
“you do not need all that sweetness. think about your health.” suguru grimaces at the amount of sweets in gojos hands. “i’m not gonna eat all of it! do you really think that low of me? i’m sharing with my girlfriend.” he plops his purchase on the counter for the cashier, smiling down at you “and i’m still coming over,” 
“i didnt agree to that, nor do you have girlfriend.” 
“don’t care,” gojo shrugs as he takes his bag full of your favourite candies, cheerfully skipping out the door followed by you and suguru. the two of you followed as he happily pranced down the street and back to school. 
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“you’re really not gonna leave me alone?” 
“nope!” you and gojo stand outside your dorm as he waits for you to unlock the door. you sign at his persistence, grabbing your keys from your bag and opening the door. he had never actually been in your dorm before so this was like a new world to him. “kinda messy in here. you needa clean up a bit y/n” gojo steps inside as if it were his own house, yet looks around at your space as if he were at a museum. “do you ever shut up? and take your shoes off. don’t step on my nice carpet. if it gets dirty i will kill you.” 
“yes ma’am.” he obeyed as if his life was truly in danger. you take off your own shoes, putting your jacket and bag away before plopping yourself on your bed. you watch gojo pace around your small dorm room, picking up random objects to inspect before humming and placing it back down. you know he should be monitored carefully while in proximity of your stuff but you really can’t be bothered to babysit right now and just allow him to stimulate himself.
after a few minutes of replying to missed texts from a few of your friends, you hear gojo sigh, dropping the bag of candy on the floor and placing his glasses alongside the makeup you put on earlier. you realize he hadn’t said a word for those few minutes. “you’re being too silent, what are yo-“ gojo fully drops himself on top of you, his hard head hitting your chest so hard you swear you heard a rib crack. “holy fucking shit you fatass, get off me!! you’re heavy.” you try to push him off you but he doesn’t budge. “but ‘m tired baby,” he whines as he made himself more comfortable on top of you. “i will kill you.” 
“m‘kay..” gojo yawns, wrapping his arms around you. now you’re stuck, great. you honestly didn’t think the word ‘tired’ existed in gojo’s vocabulary since he somehow always has energy. you had never seen him sleep before, which sounds somewhat normal until you remember the overnight trips and missions you and your classmates went on frequently, where gojo never slept. or he never let anyone see him sleep. you didn’t really realize it until now, with him on your chest already seeming close to knocking out.
as much as it annoyed you that you couldn’t get up to eat the candy he’d bought for the two of you to have, you figured if you woke him up he’d just bother the shit out of you until you let him sleep again, and you honestly realize how cute he is when he’s quiet. sighing in defeat, you open up your laptop that you had left on your bed earlier and throw on a movie you had already wanted to watch today. “hm..? what’s that?” gojo mumbles as he’s half asleep. “the movie suguru recommended me the other day. the one about the samurai?” 
“ohhh.” gojo turns his head away from the screen to rest on the other side of his head “that one sucks. and the main character dies.” 
“ugh, spoiler warning next time??” you flick the top of his head as he laughs. you scroll through the selection of movies on the site, humming occasionally while adding interesting movies to your watch later list. eventually you find a random movie that you had never heard of but it looks interesting enough and decide to watch it. the large boy laying on top of you turns his head back to the screen once he hears the new film playing. this time he doesn’t say anything, but you notice his eyes struggling to stay open as he yawns literally every waking minute.
“gojo why don’t you go back to your dorm to sleep? you can barely keep your eyes open,” you giggle at him as he tries to look offended but clearly doesn’t have to energy to. “mn-mm. ‘m watchin… with my wife.” he yawns mid sentence. “well i’m not your wife, soooo…” 
“you are my wife… we’re married… you remember.”  you know he normally only says stuff like that to get under your skin, but sometimes it sounds like he truly believes it, which is a bit scary. you can’t even pay attention to the movie with how hard you’re contemplating to get him off you and in his own bed, but it seems there’s truly no solution. he’s a freakishly tall and muscular man with 100% of his body weight on top of you, so you obviously can’t push him off. and he clearly wont willingly get up, and you know you can’t convince him to get up, so you begin to accept that you might actually be stuck here. 
“ill let you stay if you grab the bag of candy for me,” gojo seems to be too tired to remember that there’s nothing you can do to force him to leave and he easily could’ve refused. he lazily throws the bag onto the bed beside you before plopping himself right back where he was before. “now lemme stay.” you roll your eyes instinctively, grabbing the bag and picking out one of the candies gojo had picked for you. he lets out one last yawn before allowing his tiredness to consume him.
as you open up the sweets and start eating, you look down at gojo. you never really took a moment to actually realize how pretty he really is, and especially how cute he looks while he sleeps. as creepy as that sounds. you think it’s because his mouth is finally shut and he’s not saying the most annoying sentences he can come up with, or constantly blabbering to you about stuff you never asked him about and have no interest in. you honestly didn’t mind this heavy man peacefully asleep on top of you as you eat candy and watch a movie. it was quite nice, actually. maybe you’ll start to allow gojo to do things like this more often. 
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i really had no idea how to end this :SOB: but it turned out well i hope. pls send requests btw i have ZERO idea what to write neext
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so much happened this episode but I'm only gonna focus on the buck eddie and tommy of it all.
my thoughts are still all over the place but we've gotten a lot of hints on buddie and oh man do I hope that's endgame
I am really liking buck and tommy right now though
the date was so sad. buck really put his foot in it but eddie talking him through it at the end and getting him to call him was wonderful
I love these two so much and ohmygod do I hope beyond hope that they actually get together. the buddie hug had me soaring
theyre so fucking supportive of each other and its lovely to see
i loved buck's convo with maddie and eddie's with bobby
at this point I think bobby and maddie both suspect that they have feelings for each other, and i imagine hen, chimney, and athena also suspect. the boys have been so obvious and oblivious that i imagine everyone thinks theyre gonna get together
and both convos have got me really thinking that this season might end with buddie confession at the very least but maybe even buddie established for an episode or two
there are a few interviews that have been going around that have really changed my views/hopes for this season. i at first wanted bucktommy to last the whole season but after Lou's interview I'm okay with a few episodes and then them amicably ending things.
i want tommy and bucky's time together to really help buck become more comfortable with himself and for him to learn more about who is. this side of him that he wasnt entirely aware of
mr evan "I can't stop thinking about him" buck buckley
mr evan "checking out a hot guys ass is normal" buck buckley
this man is fucking adorable
I really want Marisol and Eddie to end. The nun thing was hilarious but her moving in so fast just confirmed how much I don't like them.
mr eddie "overprotective papa bear" diaz would never let someone move in that quickly. you cannot get me to believe he would cuz buck hasnt moved in. besides buck the only other person i could see moving in kinda fast woulda been shannon if they had the chance to reconcile and rekindle their relationship
I honestly miss Shannon. I think besides Buck she really is the only one that seemed to click with Eddie. i think their reconciliation and rekindling couldve been a really beautiful story.
also im fully jumping on the ship that buddie is gonna be a thing by the end of season 7. the interview with lou plus the one with ryan are really making me think this will happen.
i thought they might wait for season 8 but the rollercoaster that was this episode is making me think that we'll end with buddie being official
which would be fucking amazing
what does this mean for bucktommy? i think tommy knows that buck is in love with eddie. the surprise he felt when buck told him he wanted his attention really shows that plus everything that happened this episode. tommy telling buck he wasnt ready had so many layers to it and i think eddie is one of them.
lou saying that tommy could been with either buck or eddie and they just went with buck also tells me that this will never be a serious relationship. im expecting them to be over two thirds the way through the season based on this interview and some kind of end of the buddie slowburn we've been going through
buddie slowburn is my favourite kind of 911 fanfic so im not even mad if the pay off actually pays off
i never thought we would get here with buddie seemingly being endgame in canon
man im so glad abc picked up this show
only complaint, need more ravi, josh, and may. i need the nash-grant plus buck family to have some serious family time.
thoughts are still all over the place. sorry for this long ass mess of a post. im not a coherent writer, cant journal for shit tbh. im gonna go read some buddie fics to settle down and i hope/pray that this actually happens
(low-key though if all three get together i dont think my heart could take it but id be very very very happy. but like it needs to be done well. no one feeling left out. the chemistry between all three of them is off the charts. i can totally see why tommy and eddie were a possible route.)
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noctilucous-sunni · 2 years
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more reversed sagau brainrot!! | a lot more under the cut
- when scara sorta just ✨materializes✨ in your apartment and you’re like excuse me wtf is happening, so u pinch yourself to see if its a dream and its not apparently so you must be going insane BECAUSE WHAT OTHER EXPLANATION WOULD THERE BE FOR ONE OF YOUR FAVOURITE CHARACTERS EXISTING IN YOUR APARTMENT
- i’d feel like in the sagau or reversed sagau he wouldn’t be too fond of the all-creator bc if thats the all-creator wouldn’t that mean that you’re the one responsible for his existence and his suffering?? but when he just sees you being so genuinely nice and caring and yet strong and doesn’t take his shit he kinda lets down the guard a little
- plus he literally has nowhere else to stay so when you threatened to kick him out he realized it was either live with you or out on the streets. and he kinda hated the streets, so he ended up trying to find your place all dirty and stuff from tripping in way too many godforsaken random holes in the ground. poor gremlin.
- he is just super bratty and still has that air of “i think im better than you” but it never works on you bc you dont take his shit and you make him do half of your chores when your pissed at him (and you make sure there are no complaints)
- he wouldn't call you your grace after a while and just uses your name, you however come up with a million nicknames for him and you think its funny that it annoys him on occasion
- you argue. A lot. like so much that your neighbour and the apartment below you complained several times and also kinda tried to make the landlord kick u out so you made scara apologize to them bc hes mainly the reason its so noisy
- he will actually follow you everywhere, sorta like a guard dog. everyone around you is pretty intimidated by him but they are even more scared of you when they see that you basically keep him in check
- he can’t fucking cook dear lord. you told him to stay in the fucking apartment bc you had an important meeting today and he couldnt come with you and he was like “i didnt want to come anyway” and you just said “fuck you” (affectionate) in return (note: wrote this before his signature dish came out and he’s actually a really good cook don’t judge me ahaha)
- but when you come back your apartment and kitchen especially is a mess. you forgot to teach him how to use online delivery. and hes just like chilling out watching tv with mild interest, acting like half of your apartment isnt covered in eggs and flour and who knows what else
“scara what the fuck happened here”
“the stupid stove of yours doesnt work and neither does that beeping machine”
“clean it up”
“no”
“well i guess we wont have any food today or tomorrow, until you clean. it. UP." *glare*
he then leaves it but by the next afternoon he's actually getting hungry and grumpy and eventually starts cleaning it up the next day when he can't take it anymore and you finally come home to a clean kitchen bc thank god, you didn't know how much longer you could live on your co-worker's lunches
- you're both just so stubborn. he's stubborn and so are you and that leaves the apartment just with a tense silence AND when someone sees u at that time they feel so uncomfortable bc the atmosphere is just so tense between the two of you since neither of you agree
- silent treatment happens a lot and its really fucking stupid bc you both wanna talk to each other after like a few days but neither of you want to be the first one to admit that
- omg you absolutely hate having guests now BECAUSE HOW ARE YOU MEANT TO EXPLAIN HIM??? also he has to have normal clothes now and he looked at all your clothing choices in disgust
- everyone thinks he's just a friend until they realize he actually lives with you and then they're like "oohhhh are you together??" and think that he's your boyfriend/partner. and honestly you dont even deny it bc there is no feasible way to explain who he really is (without sounding crazy) + you get your parents off your back abt getting a boyfriend bc they kept trying to make you go on blind dates and now you're free from that phew
- but some of your friends/co-workers are all like "really? this lil guy? and they often say this around him and it just annoys and offends him to no end. but also you're surprisingly defensive of him, like yes he's a bitchy emo gremlin but he's your bitchy emo gremlin
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thecynthh · 4 months
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smart ass - M.S pt 5
synopsis - matt’s not doing to well with his schooling but is determined to get his degree and pass his classes. one essay which is a huge part of their grade haunts him with a bad mark, luckily y/n is willing to help him
notes - NOT PROOF READ, lowercase intention smut near the end, aftercare cus thats what matt specializes in, cuddles
a/n - uhm idk if yalls could tell, or if u knew but i’m a virgin and have never kissed anyone so 🫣
leave some suggestions for chris or matt fics for me to write pls as well :3
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present day a few days after their second study session
y/n pov
matt s 🐼
hey message me when ur leaving ur house. 8:46
btw we r ordering food to the house cus i dont wanna get gas. 8:47
text me what u want from CFA. 8:47
you
what in the flying fuck is CFA? 8:49
matt s 🐼
uhm hello? kid, how do u not know what CFA is???? 8:49
you
abbreviations like this is what's wrong with our generation… 8:50
matt s 🐼
kay ur so weird omfg. 5:50
CFA clearly means chick-fil-a smartass 🙄. 8:51
you
oh well then 😋. nuggets and waffle fries please 🛐🛐. 8:52
and sunjoy btww. 8:52
matt s 🐼
ew u like sunjoy? 8:53
you
u like rootbear don’t talk to me ✋. 8:52
and let me in pls im already outside :). 8:52
read at 8:52
i sling my bag over my shoulder and leave my car, waiting outside the large house with thrilling anticipation as i wait for matt to open the door. I see the fluff of his brown locks and a sweater similar to the one i’ve seen him wear before at school. i dont know why i get giddy when i see him, i dont know how we went to only speaking when madi was around too greeting each other whenever we see each other in the halls or cafe or even in our shared classes.
matt and his brothers were some of my closest friends now, after madi introduced me to them at a party, both of us got insanely drunk and made me call off crazy drinking ever since. all i remember from that night was the way matt took care of me while i was in a very vulnerable state and didn’t take advantage of me. i haven’t told anyone but madi about what happened to me when i was younger, and i’m glad she’s still taken her promise to heart, the only thing that telling her about my past shit did was make her and i closer.
i see matt in full view after he opens the door, “hey!” i say with a cheery expression despite how late it was for me.
“heyyy, thanks for coming by the way, even though you had a shift earlier.” he says sheepishly, before i left for work he messaged me begging to have another study session because he had more questions about the essay part of the exam. “oh hey lemme put your stuff in my room, just chill on the couch before the food gets here.” i pass him my backpack and laptop as he begins to walk down a hallway to make it to his room.
i move through the small entryway and become more apparent in his brothers view, “heyy y/n” nick says moving up to me for a hug, i take in his embrace.
“hi nick!!” i say excitedly. other than matt, ive hung out with nick a lot too, madi always has him over at her apartment, and even the three of us have made it a plan to meet up at our favourite bakery and talk for however long we want too a couple times a week. out of the little over a month i’ve know the triplets, nick has made a huge impact on me, and i felt safe around him, as well as chris and matt.
he lets go of me while i walk over to a slumped over chris on the couch, when he realised i was here he sits up on the edge of the couch. “sup chris,” i dap him up doing a little bro half hug with him.
“always nice to see you y/n,” he says as our arms unfold from the middle of us. i take a seat next to him with a comfortable amount of distance between us. matt returns not too long after i greet everyone. He sits down between chris and i and nick returns from the kitchen with a pepsi, root beer, bottled water and a lemonade, passing out everyone's drink knowing what each of us would ask for. matt and i give nick a thank you as he nods his head after.
nick stationed himself on the elongated part of the couch settling in with his fluffy blanket, he puts on a stranger thing episode and we all sit watching the tv. it only takes another five minutes of the episode for the doorbell to ring through the house. nick gets up immediately scurrying to the door with his fluffy blanket wrapped around him as he talks to the delivery man, thanking him and making small steps to see the rest of us. he comes back with two large bags of food planting them on the coffee table in front of all of us, before grabbing a tray of drinks after going back to the entrance.
“thank you for paying matty,” chris says, rubbing up again his brother with his lips pursed and now shoulder to shoulder with his older brother. i giggle at the sight, copying chris.
“mmmmh thanks mattyyyy” i say resting my head on the peak of his shoulder, pursing my lips as well and copying chris’ weird voice.
“you’re a fucking weirdo chris,” matt says in a disgusted voice flicking the other head that was very close to his face. “and you're welcome y/n.”
i laugh at chris’ overly dramatic reaction to what matt did to him. still giggling a bit at the sight of matt completely ignoring his brothers reaction, I say “just tell me how much i own you.”
“eh, don’t worry about it, it’s on me, plus save up for that new laptop you were talking about. i know how much you want it,” i blush slightly.
“aww thank you then,” i wrap my arms around him and squeeze him, he hands me the food that i asked for and retract back onto the couch.
“by the way, what time are we planning to stay up till? i told madi that i’ll tell her when i was heading home.” i saw looking at matt.
“well its kinda late so if you wanna stay in the guest room, im fine with that.” matt says, moving his head towards me, then breaking eye contact with the tv screen.
“im ay okay with that if you wanna stay over! plus you know your way around the house,” nick says giving his approval to matts idea of staying over.
“mhm im chill with it,” chris simply says.
“uhh yeah then, i'm down, thanks!”
we eat then say goodnight to nick and chris before we go to matt's room for some studying.
i lay down onto his bed as he walks over to his bathroom to change into some comfier clothes. while hes in there i start to think about our first study session when i found out matt had a crush on me. i thought it was very cute, but it made matt awkward on our last study night. i’m glad that he's eased up now, i just acted like i didn’t know anything and didn’t want to push on how he was feeling because I knew it would make his anxiety worse.
i come back to my senses seeing matt reappear from the bathroom door. we stayed on track for studying for an hour and a half before we eventually put on brooklyn 99 on in the background and talked.
“so, the retake is in a couple days, you think you’re ready?” i was hopeful he would be good by then because tonight felt very productive. I quizzed him on a couple of important ideas while he was playing with a baseball, throwing it up and down in the air. i learnt that he understands stuff better when he is doing something with his hands, it keeps him focused.
“hm, i’m not too sure, maybe another study sesh the day after tomorrow so by friday i’ll have all the stuff we went over fresh in my mind.” the baseball still gets thrown up and falls down in front of his face, with his hand waiting to catch it before it smacks him right on his nose. “thanks again for this,” i hear him catch it one more time before he moves his hand away from his face and looks at me just to the right of him. i'm hovering over him slightly, his eyes glow the brightest in the slight illumination from the lamp we always use when we study.
“yeah of course matt, you're my friend anyways.” our faces mirror each other, his eyes roam my faces while his hand holds the side of my face.
i toss my hair to the side of my head to lean down to kiss matt, he immediately returns the kiss enveloping my bottom lip with his. i moan into his mouth feeling him push me down and dominate me. one of his hands rests on my hip keeping me down as i pull him down with my legs letting him top me. most of his body is pressed down to mine, i lift my hips to give myself some kind of sensation i desperately crave for.
“fuck, i’m sorry are you okay with this?” matt says when he disconnects us.
i cup his chin bringing him a little closer, “i really fucking like you matt, please don’t stop.”
a smirk grows onto his face, “i really fucking like you too, you’re lucky i do.” he becomes more unserious pecking little kisses amoungst my face making a very loud “mwah” sound with each of he presses into my skin.
“matttt” i say through my sour looking face while he shows his affection.
“okay, okay, i’m done. but uh, how about we kiss again, didn’t get a good feel of it the first time.” he says with a knowing smirk on his face. i use my hand to weave through his brunette hair pulling him towards me again, we share a more passionate kiss, with knowing and love rather than lust.
it doesn’t take us long till things got more serious, his lips attach to my neck instantly sucking multiple hickeys into visible spots on my neck, moving down to my collar bone and eventually to the full and plump part of my boob. this is where my dream stopped last week, ive been trying to ignore it for the longest time but being in the moment now after thinking about it in my head makes it feel even more surreal.
his hand sneaks to the bottom of my fresh love shirt that i took from matt’s drawers when i found out i was sleeping here his fingers feel the hem of it. “is it alright if i take your shirt off?” he says with a quiet voice, almost afraid of what i’ll say.
i quickly nod in reply but that doesn’t seem good enough for him.
“words smart ass, i need words.” he says with a little bit of a condescending tone to his love tainted words.
“yes matt, you can take my shirt off too.” i say with a small giggle following after it.
he lifts the fabric to uncover the same white lace bra i was wearing while i slept over at his house by accident. “mh, i’ve been dreaming about this for a while ever since i saw you in it that morning,” he kisses the lace that travels to the small connecting piece of fabric between the two cups of my bra.
“and i know you heard what chris said to me that morning, yet you still acted like nothing was wrong.” he moves his hand to my upper back placing his hand onto my bra strap, “hey, can i take this off?”
“mhm,” my lips sealed trying to conceal my response to the amazing feeling of his hands on my body, he undoes the clip on my back with skill and purpose. the touch of his fingertips grant goosebumps to my skin in a very arousing manner.
he pulls the dainty clothing article off my arms and throws it to the floor benign absolutely amazed by my tits, they weren’t much but it seemed like matt was under a spell, he latched his lips just above my nipple to give me more hickeys, he sucks and soothes repeating this multiple times before he eventually dips down to my nipple, i feel the rush of arousal arching slightly off the bed.
i moan in response to the new sensation, i’m not exactly a virgin, but i haven’t done anything like this in a while, let alone at all for god sake. he massages the other boob, playing with the nipple with his hand the opposite of the one his mouth is very focused on.
he finally comes up for air after a little bit teasing, my thighs rub together and sits up to rip his shirt off to match my level of revealing skin, off goes his sweats as well leaving him in just his boxers, “matt, oh my god” i'm out of breath and very needy.
he continues a trail of kisses down to my clothes pussy, he looks up at me while holding the stretchy waistband of my pants, i give him a vigorous nod knowing what he was asking for.
he slides them completely off leaving me in just my underwear. he plants another sweet kids over my clothed heat which milks another desperate moan from me. “matt wait-“ he immediately comes up from my bottom half and lays beside me listening to me.
“hey we don’t have too if you don’t want too, i’m down if you just wanna go to bed in the other room, or even if you just wanna stay here and cuddle for the rest of the night.” he says before i can go ahead with what i was thinking.
“no, no i really want too it’s just, i haven’t really… done this before.” i tell him, he seems almost fully unaffected by my words.
“that’s fine, i’m here to make you feel good,” he places his hand nearing my core again, he rubs my panties over my clit moving down to feel the very apparent wet spot. “wow i’ve barely touched you and your so worked up,” his voice was sultry with a hint of a condescending tone.
“m-matt please” i struggle to say feeling the pressure he's putting down onto my throbbing clit.
“i’m gonna take these off now, okay?” he says with his fingers wrapped around the thin string of my thong that’s barely covers anything.
he slips them off admiring the sight in front of him, i almost get self conscious wanting to cover myself up with his blankets. his head dips and his hands pant onto my hips and one on my inner thigh. his tongue makes very sudden contact with my clit, he sucks and swirls his tongue around it, feeling the very heavy pressure i arch my back slighting leaning forward into his face.
his finger creeps and teases my hole before he fully plunged it into me. i heavy moan escapes my lips, “quiet now princess, can’t let nick or chris hear you.”
he continues his movements stimulating both my clit and hole at the same time, “more, please” i say with a pleading tone. he removes his finger from inside of me and replaces it with his tongue and mouth. he absolutely devoured my pussy giving me as much pleasure as he could, his mouth moving back to my clip and he slid his finger back into me moving it at a moderate pace.
i don’t try very hard to conceal my very loud moans, as soon as matt enters a second finger into my dripping cunt, i release with a pornographic moan, squeezing his head between my legs. “holy shit matt,” he licks up all of my hot cum and comes back up to kiss me.
“mmh you did so well for me, you ready for me now?” i say a needy yes while he goes back to sit back on the his headboard. he removes his boxers with such haste letting his cock spring out with a bead of pre-cum leaking out. “i wanna watch you ride me, you control the pace and how deep you wanna go.” he whispers into my ear.
he lifts me on top of him, kissing him passionately while i grind down onto his twitching cock. he lets out a guttered groan “okay, let’s do this cause i could bust just from looking at you.”
he lines himself up and holds my hips while i sink down onto him. his so thick and long, i feel him in ever existing crevasse in my cunt. “fuck yes” i say letting out a heavy breath.
“holy shit you’re so tight-“ he says between his monas and hard breathes. i begin to move myself up and down slowly, whatever pain that came at first quickly moved to pleasure as i speed up my movements.
my tits bounce every time i move up or down, my movements are set at a constant pace, “matt, i think- i think i’m gonna cum.” i say, feeling his dick twitch in my pussy again.
“come for me baby, give it to me,” he says, taking me by my love handles and moving me up and down a little faster. i came hearing his words letting out a couple of breathy moans, he follows soon after me. i feel his thick long ropes of cum fill me up and come back down dripping onto his cock.
matt does a couple of slower pumps in and out of me to ride both of us through our highs. he picks me up as if i weigh nothing and puts me down beside him laying down onto the bed.
he goes into the bathroom to retrieve a small cloth and comes back to wipe me down. he does a couple of strips to pick up as much extra cum he could. i feel him hit my clit and i whimper loudly, “oh god, i’m sorry, i know your still sensitive.” once he’s finished he goes into the bathroom and cleans himself up.
fishing his boxers from the ground he slides them on and grabs my underwear and a large t-shirt from his closet. he hops onto the bed putting on my underwear and pulling me up to put on the shirt.
“mh thank you,” i say tired and groggy.
he plants a kiss onto my forehead “anything for you smart ass.”
he comes under the covers and wraps his arms around me, intertwining our legs. we sleep peacefully until the morning
taglist - @westwiing @comet235
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just-sarah-xx · 25 days
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why do you hate me more than everyone else shouldnt you love all your kids equally why do you keep forcing me to do stuff why are you being weird i want to rip my skin off when i stand next to you i hate this feeling why do you hate me so much is it because im not as obsessed with you as my siblings are why are you so full of yourself why are you so mean you arent even here why are you walking and talking like you own this place why do you despise everyone why is everyone else your favourite what did i do to you you arent even here and shes stuck here doing everything and you dont contribute and you yell at everyone and everything and i just cant with you because you are not here you dont know my birthday you dont even know what year i'm in you dont know what piano grade i am you dont know anything about me and youre already judging me youve been here for one week and 3 days and youre leaving in 5 or something anyway why do you care its not like you will when you leave again for "work" and why does no one believe me why is everyone on your side youre so manipulative and i hate that i just realised that now why do you want me dead why dont you let me be normal why dont you let me have basic needs why do you prioritise me working or doing a chore over me drinking water and eating and sleeping why did you lock me out that night and why did you let me sleep outside that night why did you give me nothing but a piece of mouldy bread all day why do you have the power to do thay and why does no one believe me why is everyone so under the guise that youre such a good guy but youre not i can see it i can feel it and why did he not believe me when i told him that thing about you i swear im not lying why would i lie for attention when are you going away i wish you never came back am i such an asshole for thinking that after everything i dont get what i did wrong is it because im my own person is it because you just hate me is it because im not like you or her is it because i dont see you the way you want me to why do you hate me so much i see everytime and i want to die
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yamatologistt · 1 year
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im like, what, 10 years late to the whole walking dead game thing but i was way too young back then to understand the game. i hope people still enjoy it, its a really good game (and sad) but im only up to season 3 right now (i only really liked s1 and s2) but im not finished so i cant really make decisions rn
i just want to talk about ben rn and evaluate him cause im rewatching it and now that hes my favourite i notice more things about him now. (i literally look at him everytime hes in frame even if its just showing the back of his head oml)
but anyway i see a lot of ben hate and sure i get it but i dont at the same time ben is so silly how can u hate him
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- to start, when we first met ben in the woods, he’d already been through some stuff, like he saw his classmate off herself and turn into a walker, his camp got raided and he was left with 1 friend and his teacher (who both still die btw) so most of what he had left before the apocalypse was gone
- when lee is rationing out the food, if he gives ben food first, kenny comes and tells lee that there’s kids that need food too, and ben literally is like ‘sorry i didnt want any trouble’ like cmon, and he’s literally a kid too he deserves the food as much as anyone else
- on the train he is interested in the controls and being up there, so we can see that he generally enjoyed it. but once lee gets the engine going, kenny comes and ben immediately has to go babysit katjaa clem and duck (he is also visibly upset) AND THEN later on lee asks how ben was doing and he says ‘im watching the girls and not working on a mega cool train’ (let him on the train immediately 😠😠)
- ok, so maybe he did sneak supplies to the bandits and i think this is just me being biased but i feel like him giving the supplies held off the bandits a little. i mean think about it, they moved on from the st john’s farm and started taking from the motel, right? im not sure how the bandits asked ben (if they made it clear then i forgot) but if he refused wouldnt the bandits come attack even earlier? i mean they needed the supplies right, and if ben didnt give them anything to begin with they would have raided the motel anyway. i mean they knew where they were even before the st john incident. idk its just a thought
- i think it was cool how ben managed to confess to lee that he was the one who slipped the bandits supplies. like you can tell ben is a good guy cause the guilt was almost literally eating him from the inside. and even though ben isnt one of the bravest people, he still confessed knowing that lee’s reaction wouldnt be pretty. (also his stance when leaning on the train railing was so silly to me)
- after they meet christa and omid, ben tells lee that his biggest fear was to be eaten by the walkers. i mean he literally said that if he got bitten he would off himself 😢😢
- also ben was always referred to as a child but he was never treated like one, everyone excpected him to be brave and strong but in reality he was just some scrawny highschool student who was scared and couldnt live up to his impossible standards. man, i really just wanna give ben a big hug
- if you tell ben to “kill anything that gets in” he responds with “you know you’re talking to me, right?” poor ben
- even though his biggest fear is getting eaten by walkers, you still have the option to leave him behind, and let him go at the bell tower. i mean how could u do this to him hes already gone through enough
- lastly, the part where ben tells off kenny is literally iconic, that scene singlehandedly made ben one of my favourite characters of all time, i was like everyone else, i didnt care about ben because i thought he was a bad guy since i never really payed attention to him. but i swear when he was telling kenny off it felt like i was being told off too. i mean his point was valid too, kenny had his family to say goodbye to, and ben (and literally everyone else) never got to see their family, (or they saw them as walkers, lee and clem,, :( )
- i know the last point was meant to be the last one but cmon its ben i could type this for ages longer but yeah. he had the literal best character development in the game. at first he was some stupid kid who was always messing up and before he died he was an amazing character who deserved literally everything. omg i cried so hard when he died cause when he fell i was like, oh i think its ok the fall wasnt too far and he said he only hurt his leg, but bro once we saw what really happened my heart sank bro it was so sad i really hoped nothing bad happened to him ☹️☹️ but i think kenny did the right thing cause like we said, his worst fear was the walkers getting to him. gosh i feel like i watched his death for the first time ages ago and i still cant stop thinking about him man
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anyways, i would literally do anything to give ben a massive hug, he did his best and he was literally so funny too :((
(thanks if u read this far btw, i just wanted to rant about this man i love him so much and i will defend him with my life) 😠‼️
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engie-the-profit · 10 months
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worst popular infinite headcanon?
oh my. this one got long so im going to spare peoples dashes by putting this under a cut haha
anyways my answer is: making him out to be a little crybaby who is driven purely by revenge and sadness to make the world pay for shadow killing his squad mates, whom he loved in a normal way and saw them as family or whatever. it makes his character so goddamn flat and boring bc thats such a standard villain motivation, and it entirely strips away a lot of his personality even when theres already so little to work with LMAO
i know ive spoken about it at length in the dog&hog server but to me, infinites most notable trait is that hes selfish
in the prequel comic rise of infinite (yay, prequel comic talk. everyones favourite, i know) he deliberately ignores any protests from his gang against accepting eggmans deal of working with him, because eggy singles him out and offers him a place at his side to bring his fantasy of ruin into reality. not infinite and his crew, just infinite
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(image has two comic panels. in the first one, eggman is reaching a hand out to infinite as he says "now you are an interesting guy. i like you. how about i hire you to lead my forces? together we'll take over the world!" in the second panel, one of the jackal squad members says "boss! dont be tempted by him. we'll be fine!")
and infinite says yes after briefly talking about how he personally feels bored and tired of how the world is right now
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(image has two panels. in the first, infinite is mumbling to himself, first laughing and then saying "interesting. all this time ive been going through the motions. ive actually grown quite tired of the world as it is." in the second panel he stands and says "lets do it doctor! i'll help you change this world!")
again, its a decision based off an entirely personal and individualistic opinion that only takes his own feelings into account. you would think that if he valued his squad to the extent that they were "like family" to him, he would have listened when they said he shouldnt make a deal with eggman. if he actually cared about them as much as he cared about himself, he would have trusted them enough to say no. instead he only thinks about what he wants and what he can get, not about what will happen to the others
ive always been of the opinion that infinite used his squad and position of authority as their leader to prop himself up and viewed them more like underlings or subjects that he could order around and be superior to, rather than equals whose opinions and input he valued. maybe he started out having more camaraderie with the other jackals, but it certainly doesnt show by the time we get to the events of the prequel comic, and even less so when we get to episode shadow/the main game
the idea that he saw his squad more like tools to make himself look better than people also makes more sense because when in episode shadow, eggman calls infinites squad "useless" directly to him and all infinite says is "yeah, yeah" in a very uncaring fashion. even when he then spots shadow and says "you.. you destroyed my squad!" its entirely unconvincing to me that he said it out of sorrow or sadness; to me it was more like simple anger that it happened. because now without his little group of followers that looked up to him and did whatever he told them to, he had nobody to feel superior to. he couldnt go on any more power trips by being The Boss bc there was nobody left to indulge him, no one to stoke his ego, nobody to be the boss of. so thats why he felt slighted by shadow in the first place; how dare this hedgehog take away what made him feel special and important. and then of course the ensuing humiliation that came afterward was just the icing on the shit cake haha
it also explains why infinite never brings up his squad in any of his monologues (besides the prequel comics and episode shadow being obvious afterthoughts to the main game loool); he just doesnt care. if anything, their loss was his gain bc it pushed him towards acquiring the phantom ruby and getting to go on the ultimate power trip of world domination and near total subjugation of the population. i think that also ties into his mindset that friends make you weak and you cant rely on anyone but yourself; in his case, thats literally true. if he hadnt lost his squad, if he had initially listened to them, the chain of events we know well would not have come to pass and he would not have gotten to become the powerhouse he did. he would have still been leading his monotonous life and following the same old script. from his perspective they really did hold him back, and only once they were gone was he able to become stronger. he reiterates this by thanking shadow in the dlc for doing what he did in mystic jungle (killing the jackal squad and kicking infinites ass) bc otherwise he wouldnt have gotten the incentive he needed to take on the mantle of becoming a super powered weapon
and if you want some more evidence thats admittedly a lot more of a stretch, you could also interpret infinite creating a posse of past sonic foes as him filling the void of using the jackal squad that was created after shadow had taken them down. he gets to control people again (even if theyre clones that had no choice but to obey him but nyeh i told you it was a stretch), he gets to be a leader again
idk, i just think that having a sob story as a main motivation is (funny joke here) weak. i have never once thought that infinite needs to have some kind of sympathetic or tragic backstory. and maybe thats just my own personal bias coming through bc i prefer villains that are evil for reasons like their moral philosophies or have some kind of goal that makes the audience go "maybe they do have a point tbh" and villains that are just evil for the sake of it over villains that say "my mom died" as if that is any kind of justifiable explanation. imo it almost always comes off as them making an excuse, and its lame. just own it, yknow?
so yeah if i could block one thing from the minds of infinite fans it would be the hc that infinite was tightly knit with the jackals and wanted what was best for them. bc with all the evidence ive seen, its not supported at all, and hes actually the exact opposite; he does what he wants and uses who he wants for his own purposes and gain
also yes i do think shadow straight up killed the other jackals and i do think thats in character for him but thats a conversation for another day
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neverlearnedtoread · 4 months
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Uprooted
⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐; my favourite kind of fantasy - classic fairytale with a side of 'dont worry about the details' and 'you gotta believe in the heart of the cards!'
Oh?? 👌😉😏
a really sharp, quick-witted, and willful female protagonist going 'fuck it!' every few chapters or so and doing something crazy (crazy fun) to drive the plot forward, off a new exciting cliff
a soft magic system that really shows off in the best light what makes soft magic systems so valid. its all about the metaphors!! you have to measure the chocolate chips with your heart!!!
nature is so magical and beautiful and deadly. specifically if you treat trees bad they will form a sentient vengeful forest to raze your civilization to the ground and salt the earth with your bodies
kasia. i love an atomic blonde unkillable bad bitch with the strongest queerplatonic vibes with her best friend from birth
a CLASSIC grumpy 'beastly' male love interest. he seals himself away in a lonely tower, makes girls hang out with him for 10 years at a time, and unironically calls himself 'the Dragon'. he even has the audacity to be offended that everyone thinks he's creepy!!!!!!
No.. ❌🤢🤮
if you like having explanations for how magic works and any semblance of a hard magic system in your fantasy, put this book back. 'round here we operate on Vibes Only, babey!!
similarly, if your love language is words of affirmation and/or you think that fanfic-style romance plotlines should stay in fanfic, this romance is Not For You. this is not a judgment, only a warning
Summary: Agnieszka loves her home in her little village in the valley - you know, except for the evil forest simply known as the Wood that's been around as long as there have been people in the valley, with terrible creatures and sentient walking trees. And the century-old wizard known only as 'the Dragon' living in the tower overlooking their land, who takes a young woman every ten years to serve him. But what Agnieszka dreads the most is that her best friend, Kasia, will be chosen next, and that Agnieszka is helpless to save her. Until the day of the choosing, when the Dragon picks Agnieszka instead.
Concept: 💭💭💭💭 I've never gotten along that well with a book blurb, but this one does its damn job - gives me enough plot premise to get me interested without giving it all away, and doesn't make me feel like I've been lied to once I start the book! some stories really don't do what they say on the tin, or take ages to get there at all, but Uprooted starts off exactly at the spot the blurb said it would - with a girl, in a valley, scared of a terrible wizard, about to be whisked away to a tower.
Execution: 💥💥💥💥💥 This story is EXACTLY what it says it wants to be, down to the cadence of the prose - a Polish folklore-inspired fairytale. The rhythm of Novik's narration even fits right - one day I'll get the audiobook for this and get to hear it the way I read it in my head, like a grandmother's bedtime story with twists and eddies and crescendos at the all the right bits. I was in love with the aesthetic of every character, they fit perfectly into the backdrop of what this story was.
Personal Enjoyment: ❤❤❤❤❤ This book aligns to my tastes much the same way An Enchantment of Ravens does, and shares of lot of the same elements without ever feeling derivative - smart girl meets magic boy, causes all kinds of irreversible political upheaval, and lives happily ever after being just as they are - a Girl with The Audacity. its a tale as old as time, and i'll hear it told just as often
Favourite Moment: you know its a good book when you really can't choose a favourite moment - one that comes to mind is agniezska choosing to save sarkan from being grafted onto the heart-tree in the Wood instead of setting fire to it. the 'fuck it!' energy agniezska brings to her moments of crisis is SO good, plus the motif of her always reaching out to sarkan to cast magic together - 'hey real quick, cast a spell with me while you're being pulled into an evil magic tree trying to twist your magic and life force against us. couldn't hurt, eh?' and then it WORKS
Favourite Character: now yall know i love a sarkan-esque character - pathetic wet cat men who are so offended by their own squishy feelings are a great time! and kasia is SO bad bitch extraordinaire, her and agnieszka's love for each other literally makes the plot go - every time, every time without hesitation she puts herself as the last thing standing between agnieszka and the Wood. but agniezska herself is really Something. the way she uses magic, her connection with nature and her refusal to be anything else than what she is - a grubby young woman who wields kindness as her weapon against the world, who holds onto her humanity with both hands and teeth - she shapes this fairytale to be the story she wants it to be, one of connection and empathy. and im still thinking about her introducing the lord of the whole valley to her mother 🤣 power move!!
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sergeifyodorov · 10 months
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Hughes brothers for the character ask meme?
im going to be real my first impression of quinn was from noted quinn scholar tanya txstars talking abt him. i dont even know what the first little bit was about because i was like “yeah everyone i follow just has that one guy they’re obsessed with” and then i actually saw photos of quinn and then started to Get It.
jack was the more famous of the three from the getgo. I knew he was a devil but didn’t know which one was jack and which one was nico for a while so there is that
and i’m like 90% sure my first thoughts on luke were THERE’S A THIRD ONE???
IMPRESSION NOW
Quinn: he is my scrungly. More than the generic fact that i find him hot in a wetpathetic roadside cat kind of way and that i am impressed and delighted by his skating and his ice time, I do really genuinely like him. He comes across as somehow both an idiot well-meaning jock and as an honestly intelligent man; maybe he’s just an airhead stoner. He’s the eldest daughter of our dreams. He should absolutely be the next captain of the Canucks. He’s level-headed and stands up for his teammates off the ice (talking openly about how he thinks they mishandled an injury!?) and is just… an ideal man. He’s also definitely got ghosts after him.
Jack: NIGHTMARE CHILD. I probably first started to hear his name from all the xreader writers who wanted to take him to prom, but once you actually start looking at and seeing him beyond the Boy Band Fluff, he’s… kind of a greasy sharp-toothed demon child? I do like him -- quite a good deal, to be honest, but the instant he let sweat slick his hair back and the playoffs knocked a tooth out he immediately became Interesting to me, as opposed to just some mouse.
Luke: Luke’s relative lack of screentime means my impression is a lot less nuanced than the other two: he both terrifies and excites me. Terrifies because the Devils are in my conference so i’ll have to see him three times a year… and excites because Quinn, Ellen, and Jack all say that he’s the best of the three of them. Can you BELIEVE how good that would make him. Quinn’s one of the best offensive defencemen on the planet (and pretty good defensively, despite what you might think!) and still has a few years before his peak, Jack’s a hundred-point forward at 21, and Luke is BETTER THAN BOTH OF THEM. 
FAVOURITE MOMENT
Quinn: the “taking his ESL teammates out to the movies” is endlessly charming to me… even if he picked rather a terrible movie to show to his esl teammates. also pretending to be a really bad driver at petey. Older brother supreme
Jack: either aforementioned tooth loss or any of his comedic falling-overs. Third place goes to snarking to the media… that boy wants nothing to do w any of it. If he was in toronto they’d have ripped him jaw to tailbone
Luke: overtime gwg w jack assist!!!!!!
IDEA FOR STORY
Quinn: what if i told u im partway through a quinnfic as we speak… he is dealing with the horrors surprisingly well all things considered
Jack: i am not of the opinion that he should get like. romcom fluff. he is as of yet not that type of girl. Get his ass to the mobster movie/wizard maze/indiscriminate pwp. Send him to something violent and a little bit horny and way too complicated for his little brain full of titty magazine and bits of lint. Bamboozle him and cover him in blood and let him top badly. many people are saying this
Luke: until such time as we see Character Traits from him (im not a umich girly dont tell me anything you’ve seen from there) i am content to let him remain for now a background character. he’s big and he has jack’s nose and quinn’s eyebags and he’s the baby. That’s enough
UNPOPULAR OPINION
Quinn: i am a quinn will become a leaf eventually truther. not that every born leafsfan will become a leaf at some point in their career but he will. Not because he hates it in vancouver because im pretty sure he doesn’t… just that there’s destinies out there u can’t escape. Im also a quinn will become a devil eventually anti. he’s not going to do that he likes offseason brother time and offseason brother time only
Jack: the beard is a good look on him
Luke: tall people shouldn’t have older siblings it’s wrong
FAV RELATIONSHIP
Quinn: quinnpetey kissa time. petey’s cringe little gay romanticism is now going to lead him away from brock to A Person With A Sustainable Future As a Canuck… quinn is going to let petey infringe on his space and his feelings and his bedsheets. they will hold hands through the horrors (vancouver canuckdom)
Jack: now hear me out i want us to explore whatever freudian attraction he had to pk subban. nico is cool and all but there’s more out here
Luke: not in an incestfic way but i do love his relationships w his brothers… siblings i do not understand them
FAV HEADCANON
Quinn: there was once a canucks raffle, where you could win bags each of the canucks had chosen stuff for… most of it was kind of generic. wine, a trip somewhere nice in the city, sometimes you’d get a sweater or a record or something. quinn chose cast iron pans and a cookbook. he wants to know how to cook well, he drives a reasonable car instead of petey’s fancy sports cars, he gets esl teammates to repeat his meaning back to him so he knows they understand. he’s grounded in a way few hockeys are and this is part character analysis from what we know and part extrapolation but that’s SO fascinating to me. i think he also knows stuff like how to sew on a button and clean an oven and tie a tourniquet.
Jack: could do sweet tricks on the trampoline
Luke: i dont think he’s going to take after either of his brothers in the personality department… he cares too much he’s going to suck up to the media way more when they want him. He’s avoiding that for now by being shy but he very much did puke into that garbage can at the frozen four he CARES
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mrs-monaghan · 1 year
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Previous anon here again, I just wanted to clarify in response to your answer: I totally agree with the over exaggerated edits of supposedly Jungkook being jealous of the members, most of them are bs (maybe except for a very few instances with Namjoon?). I was thinking of a few moments that do seem legit to me and as you said especially the ones with people outside of the band. I was also thinking of the moments with Taemin, though I still wonder if Jungkook was jealous of him or if he just didn’t like him for whatever reason (which is a shame cause I love Taemin!!) I think in the past Jungkook had a tendency of being a bit possessive, which seems quite normal to me, he was really young and probably insecure, it happens. Ha anyway, he has grown a lot though.
Oh for sure JK had a huge issue with Taemin. Huge. Don't people believe the manilla fight may have had something to do with Taemin? My friends i think that Jimin may have had to practise on JK's birthday and the latter wasn't having it. Like its the only thing we can think of because, Jikook were fine during the day celebrating. So what happened overnight so that the next morning at the airport they couldn't even look at or be next to eo?? How can things go wrong in such a short amount of time? Jimin has been there for all of JK's birthdays. But this one night he couldn't so maybe JK felt some type of way?? Who knows. But it make sense. Either way you've seen the way Taemin looks at Jimin. He's definitely been hit by that Jimin effect and JK ain't blind 😂😂
So outside of BTS we have seen Sean Mendez, Taemin, and something was happening with Bogum during this.
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My friends and I believe JK watched Jikook compilations and saw himself doing the tongue in cheek thing and decided to rectify 😂😂 but as u can see he did that for the entire Jimin and Bogum interaction and stopped as soon as Jimin was next to him.
Then we also have JB and this has to be my favourite 🤣🤣🤣🤣 JB and Jimin kept looking at eo. Well, tbf, JB was blatantly staring at Jimin and so Jimin kept looking back at him.
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But this happened for too long and JK was like
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I swear to God this entertains me so much!!! And it happened for quite a while!! Jikookers Classroom always shows the whole picture and doesn't manipulate so check out the whole Kdrama here. And its the way Jimin smirks like....bro what are u doing??? This whole thing is fucking gold!!
Then of course we have Wonho. This one is quite popular but my favourite part has to be when after Jimin admiring Wonho's muscles for most of the night, when they were leaving, JK started to work out his arm with the trophy
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He was like "babe see? I'm strong too." 🤭🤭
Last but definitely not least we have this TXT moment.
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Its so subtle. A blink and u will miss it type of thing. The guy shakes Jimin's hand once. Okay, thats fine. But when he does it a second time JK taps him like "that's enough son." 🤣🤣🤣🤣
Just to name some few none bts moments. But back to RM and Suga. While I understand why JK would be anti Yoonmin, I dont get the Minimoni anti thing. 🤭 A friend told me it could be because JK admires RM so much. He's so smart and bla bla bla. And JK looks up to him. And maybe JK knows he is not like RM so it could stem from that? Idk why the issue because JK is super smart and has a million things going for him. But after being around for a while I found out something interesting about the Korean culture. About how men claim their women and let everyone know that, that woman is his. Apparently when JK got into that nasty scandal with the tattoo artist c*nt, Karmy were telling the boyfriend to claim her?? Or some shit like that? But the guy refused to because they were broken up or something. Apparently it was messed up that JK would hold another man's woman like that. Idk man. I'm not Korean and I don't fully understand it but I know it's a thing. Which explains why JK behaves the way he does. You said, he was possessive coz he was young and insecure. And maybe thats true. But I think there is also the issue of no one knowing they're together. JK would love for the world to know Jimin is "his" but he can't. And so people going around touching and feeling on his man well... I can see why he would have an issue with that. Especially since Jimin gets shipped with pretty much everyone.
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tojisun · 5 months
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Sorry it turned into a depressing rant
Anon who asked about your fav studio ghibli movie here!
I love howls moving castle so much, I love the part when Sophie starts cleaning the house, I love how comforting it is
I love the sass from everyone, I love how kind Sophie is
I love howls line “I see no point in living if I can’t be beautiful” as much as it sucks I agree with him. I’m not smart so the only thing I can offer is my looks and personality to people I meet. If I’m not beautiful, then what’s the point? Sorry if it sounds shallow but when you have nothing to offer in this world, the only thing I can work on is how good I look and present myself. I know I shouldn’t think like that, it’s damaging
Beauty IS in the eye of the beholder, there will be people who find you attractive and there will be people who won’t. People you find attractive, others won’t, so sometimes I try not to think too much about it since we never know.
All my life I’ve been slow academically. My siblings are all smarter than me so I’m always the dumb one. I’m not skinny but I’m working on it, even tho it’s so hard, but I have to be skinny, my life will definitely turn around when I’m not too self conscious about my body. I know I’ll still have those negative thoughts and even after I’m skinny I won’t be happy but, as of now, I never leave the house, my anxiety about how I look keeps me from taking in person classes. I never want to leave the house unless I look good, because I don’t want anyone seeing me at my worst, I want everyone to see me as the best version of myself. So I never leave, my social skills have tanked since 2020 since that was the last time I took a in person class, and that was in high school 😭😭
I feel so immature and stupid, and people my age (19) are doing better than me. I just give up before I even try, and I’m so behind since I’m in my third year of college and I still don’t have an official major, I’m so behind, and last semester I didn’t take any classes cuz I was so depressed and embarrassed, since I failed two classes. It’s an horrible cycle of pity and dread and I’m scared I’ll never get rid of it. And I’m scared of talking to men, but I’m supposed to get married and have a kid before I’m 30 since you’re more fertile and it’s better to have kids young, and I’d love that but I’m scared my kids will turn out like me, disappointments. And I won’t know how to fix them.
So yeah… we veered off of howls moving castle.. my bad💀
re:
!! this got long im so sorry
first of: pls dont apologize! u are welcome to vent here in my blog, im happy to just be a bouncing wall to u guys (if my usually long responses arent what u guys wanted to see). thank u for trusting me (us) with this and im truly sorry for how late im responding
i do love those parts of howls moving castle! i never understood why howl was lamenting about his looks when i thought he looked beautiful w orange hair. orange used to be my favourite colour ^v^ it isnt one rn but i am still fond of it.
i loved orange even when howl didnt – u are correct that beauty in the eye of the beholder. beauty also goes a long way. it’s a horrible reality but when u grew up fat, u get told so many times about how much better life would be if u could just lose weight. i truly cant tell u when i stopped thinking so little of myself.
honestly love, its just so recent when i felt good enough in my own skin – blemishes n all. i never thought itd get better tbh; i thought itd stay this way but it got better. and im scared to promise to you a range of when it will get better, but i do know that it will.
u feel immature bc u are still young! 19 is so young so pls dont punish urself for feeling young, for thinking young, for not knowing anything past being young yet. as a younger sibling, ik for a fact im still so immature. it took me getting a job (during the weekdays) n going to uni for me to mature up, n i was 20 when that happened. so recent!
i also completed my associates slowly bc i was struggling in college! i once took a sem where i only had one class bc i was so overwhelmed that i had to slowly pace myself so i can keep going. high school babies u n then boom, u get hit w juggling responsibilities in college that kinda makes u wanna quit – but u didnt. u took a break and then bounced back!! my love, if that isnt resilience, then what is?
ive never wanted to settle down. i think its bc i thought id be gone by now that i just dont see myself having a family of my own so i apologize for not knowing how to empathize about the ‘deadline’ but u are just 19. before age 30 is so far away! u have sm to live for in between those years. sm to experience and to meet and to love!
also, not having a major yet is also fine! i declared a minor just this year – and im a fourth year already. pls dont worry. u have time – that is something i wanna keep emphasizing. u have time. it feels like the world is collapsing rn bc of fear and anxiety which, my old therapist told me, is a sign that u (and i) wanna keep going. that u wanna keep living.
and from what i could see, especially coming from me who wanted to just give it all up, that is enough. i know that the reasons behind u working on urself isnt a sustainable mentality, but hopefully one day u will wake up and own ur hard work for urself. not for others.
aaaa this got too long im so sorry, im being emotional on my end but i just want u to know: u are not a disappointment. u arent.
ur alive and ur making connections and ur trying ur best (even though it doesnt feel like that on ur end but u are!!) so how could u be a disappointment? and even if u dont wanna do anything, ur also not a disappointment. not even then.
ur future kids will be so lucky and happy to have u as their mom. and they too will be beautiful; they wont need any fixing bc there isnt anything broken to fix.
i love you. i dont know who u are but i love you. i love all of you.
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