#and i don’t think ive ever had a genuine crush | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

whatawonderfulexistence--blog · 2 months

Text

Fall For Me (Poly! Sleep Token x Fem! Reader) - Part VII

*inhales aggressively* VESSEL CHAPTER!!!!!! FINALLY!!!! Reader has a talk with the boys about what exactly happened with the night's kissing incident, after so much time of him being a bit distant towards reader Vessel decides to let his softer side show, plus more moments with III because I'm in love with him and I can't help myself sorry not sorry hehe I can't wait to know what you all think of this chapter thank you all so much for all the wonderful comments. If you would like to be added to the tag list please let me know!!

WARNINGS: discussion of boundaries, proposals of a polyamorous relationship (I tried my best to make it realistic but I, myself, am not polyamorous), fluffy stuff per usual. NOT PROOFREAD

My Masterlist! ~ AO3 Link!

Part VI - Part VIII (TBA)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The sight before you almost made you want to laugh. The four grown men that sat in various seats around your living room almost resembled a group of school kids waiting anxiously outside the principal's office. “I’m sorry.” III was the first of them to speak up.

“No, if anything I should be the one apologizing.” II quickly follows, both of them unable to even look in your direction.

“I’m not upset at either of you, I’m just… confused.” You respond softly.

“It started off as simple crushes; me, IV, III, Ves.” You noticed Vessel’s shoulder tense as he was dragged into this conversation as well. “We all think you’re beautiful-”

“And very sweet.” III adds on. You can’t help the subtle smile that finds its way to your lips at their compliments.

“We could tell things had gotten a little more serious between you and III so we all decided to back off. But, I can’t lie to you,” II chuckled, “I’m a very jealous man. So when someone tries to keep me from what I want I don’t typically respond the best.”

“And I don’t feel right asking you to commit solely to me when you clearly have feelings for II, as well.” III adds his piece. You found it odd, there was no anger in his voice at the thought of you with his friend. “I guess what we’re trying to say is, um…” he trails off, looking to II as he searches for the right words to say.

“How would you feel about dating all of us?” Vessel breaks the thick tension with his blunt question. You felt like all of the air had been punched from your lungs, your heart jumping into your throat as your head snapped in his direction.

“Vessel, you can’t phrase it like that!” IV groans from his spot on your couch, dropping his head into his hand.

“What? She's a big girl, you don't need to beat around the bush.”

“Dating… dating all of you?” You finally mutter after a few moments of shocked silence.

“Obviously only if you're comfortable with that.” III stands from his seat, slowly stepping closer to you. “You don't have to say yes to any of this. It doesn't matter if you want to date only me, or if you would be okay dating all of us. Hell, after dropping this on you, there's a chance you might not want to see any of us ever again.” You didn't miss the nervousness that laced its way into his laughter. III was genuinely scared that this was going to fully push you away. “But, it's about what you want, that's the important part.”

“And you're all okay with this?” You would be lying if you tried to say you didn't find the offer very appealing. Every member of the group that sat before you drew you to them in one way or another, they were definitely an attractive bunch to put it lightly; III with his subtle intensity, who was always making you laugh, II who would turn you into a flustered mess with his sweet words, IV who’s easily excitable nature and blind confidence when it came to complimenting you made your heart thrum in your chest, Vessel who lets his hand linger on your waist as he maneuvers around you doing restock days, who holds your gaze for perhaps a little longer than necessary when wishing you goodbye at night. But, could you really handle four relationships?

“The way we see it, we’d rather share you with others who we know are going to take good care of you than to be forced to hold our tongues about how we feel about you.” II explains.

“I…” you trail off as you look between the four of them. “I need some time to think.” Your voice shook slightly as you spoke.

“Of course.” Vessel responds. Without another word II, III, and IV stood, quietly said their goodbyes to you and left your apartment. Vessel hung back for a moment, waiting for III to fully shut the door behind him before breathing out a sigh. “I'm sorry that all of this happened the way it did. I kept telling them to wait to bring it up.” His gaze drops to you, who was silently fidgeting with your fingers as you leaned against the wall.

“I can always tell them to back off, love.”

“No, you don't have to do that.” You brush him off. “It's nothing to do with any of you, you're all incredible. It's just- it's me, that's what the problem is.” You tried to force a laugh to prove to Vessel that you were fine, his unchanging expression let you know immediately that he saw right through you. “You're all so wonderful, and the fact that you would be willing to make such a huge compromise.” You stare through the slits of his mask, believing you were meeting his eyes. “What if it's not worth it?”

You didn't have time to register what was happening before Vessel was in front of you, pulling you into a warm embrace.

“I know I might not be as… prominent with my acts of affection as the others.” He pulls back slightly, one large hand coming up to cradle the back of your head as your eyes instinctively rise to look at him. “But, considering II put things out in the open, I need you to know that I care for you viscerally.” The soft growl that found its way into his voice made your cheeks grow warm. “I don't want you to feel pressured into anything you don't want, but I need you to understand that there has not been a single moment since I met you that would make me think any of this wasn't worth it.” You blink slowly as a hand comes to rest on the top of your head, comfortingly patting the spot. “Would it be alright if I came and checked in tomorrow?” You nod, reluctantly letting your hands fall away from their position pressed against his chest as he stepped back, his warmth fading away with it.

“Goodnight, Ves.” Your voice cracked slightly as you tried to keep your overwhelming emotions in check.

“Goodnight love, rest well.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You watched the second hand on the clock tick, bringing you closer to when Vessel would usually make his nightly supply runs. You hadn’t managed to sleep at all the night prior, tossing and turning as you played through every scenario you could think of as you made your decision. At the sight of the familiar pick up truck rumbling into the lot you felt your heart race. “This is it.” You muttered out loud to the empty store. “No going back now.” He poked his head through the door before fully entering.

“You still open?” He offers you a playful smile.

“No, but for you I'll make an exception.” You giggle in response. He slowly steps inside and approaches the counter.

“How’d thinking on things go?” He rests his elbows on the counter, bringing him closer to face level with you.

You set a hand down on the counter, Vessel cautiously reaching out to take it in his own. He hesitates for a moment, his hand drawing back slightly as if he was preparing to pull away. His fingers were rough against the soft skin of your hand when he finally decided to take his, his thumb running languidly across the peaks and valleys of your knuckles as he waited patiently for your response. “I want to take things slow… but the thought of having all of you to myself is a little too good to pass up.” He breathes out a chuckle, flashing you a sharp smirk that makes your breath catch in your throat.

“Is that so?” He mulls over how to respond to your statement for a moment. “How about I make us dinner and we can sit down and talk about how slow you want to take things, just so we can make sure everyone is on the same page.”

“You want to cook me dinner?” You shoot him a playful smile. “Is it going to be edible?” He bellows out a laugh in response.

“You're funny, you know I've been told I'm a wonderful cook.” He points an accusatory finger at you, standing up to collect what ingredients he needed from around the store. “Just you wait and see, this is going to be the best damn meal you've ever eaten.”

The whole thing was a bit strange in the best way. If he hasn't told you so directly you would've sworn that Vessel thought of you as little more than an acquaintance. But now, you were sitting on your kitchen counter, a glass of white wine swirling around in your hand, rolling your eyes playfully at all of Vessel’s terrible jokes as he made the two of you dinner. He asks you where you keep your plates, you easily reach into the cabinet behind you and produce a pair, holding them out to him with a soft smile. He carefully plates the pasta he made, penne with bacon and spinach and some type of cream sauce he had pulled together with odds and ends from your pantry. “It smells incredible.” He saunters in front of you, trapping you on the counter by placing a hand on either side of your waist.

“And here you were questioning my culinary skills.” He feigns a hurt tone before a soft chuckle rumbles from his chest. “Come on beautiful, let's go eat.” He pulls away from you, your body trailing after his warmth. You pad your way into the living room, Vessel close behind as he carries your plate for you. You sat close together on the couch, angling yourself to better face him. “So, define slow.” He jumps in immediately.

“Let me at least get a couple bites in.” Vessel can't help but smile at your teasing tone. “I just… I don’t know. This is all so different I don't think I can really tell you what going slow even means.”

“Well, I can assure you that all of us care a lot about how you feel during all of this.”

“And I know that.”

“I think you're worried about more than just taking things slow, love. What's on your mind?” The softness to his tone immediately lulled your anxious mind into a sense of safety.

“I'm worried about things developing quicker in certain relationships than others, I just don't want that to cause any of you to fight.” You absentmindedly twisted your fork around in your fingers, studying it as you tried to put into words what was racing through your mind.

“That might happen, but if it does it's alright. Unfortunately that's just something we have to deal with.” He chuckles. “There's no doubt in my mind that you would be more comfortable moving a bit quicker with III than you would with me, he started flirting with you from the start. We all know that you're in various stages of getting to know us, we're more than willing to give you time to figure all of that out.” Hearing him being so reassuring made the heaviness weighing in your chest lighten considerably. “Is there anything else I can do to ease that pretty little head of yours?” You slowly shake your head no before pausing. You looked at the man before you, swallowing thickly as you mulled over an idea. Vessel was an enigma to you even after months of knowing him. He was aloof, quiet, but the few rare instances he let part of his personality break through you could tell just how wonderful he could really be.

“Dance with me?” The question hung in the air for a moment before Vessel wordlessly rose to his feet.

“I will warn you, I'm not much of a dancer.” He chuckles, outstretching his hand for you to take. His palm was warm against your fingertips; the smudged edges of his paint were a stark contrast to the pale skin underneath.

“What a shame, neither am I.” You giggle in response before he pulls you to your feet. He looks around the room, making a small sound of affirmation to himself before pushing your coffee table out of the way to open up the space. You walked over to a bookshelf in the corner of the room, clicking on your radio and letting the soft tune crackle to life. Vessel stood in the center of the room, hands shoved into his pockets as he waited for your return, a soft smile settling onto his lips.

“You look really beautiful today.” He says softly, one strong arm reaching out for you and wrapping around your waist when you were within reach. Your fingers intertwine with his, Vessel watching carefully as each delicate digit slotted between his own. Your cheeks grow warm as you timidly accept the compliment. You had never been this close to Vessel before, feeling the way his muscles tensed and shifted under the hand that rested on his shoulder sent a shiver down your spine. You were unable to tear your eyes away from him, the intricate detailing along the edge of his mask highlighting how wide and bright his smile was as he gazed down at your flustered form. The music you had turned on was non existent at this point, the only thing mattering at this point in time was Vessel finally allowing you the briefest glimpse inside his walls. You managed to trip over your own feet, yelping slightly as you stumbled into him. “Easy now, I got you.” He chuckles, helping to steady you on your feet. “If you're going to faint at least wait until I kiss you for the first time.” He jokes

“Already thinking about kissing me, huh?” You smile coyly

“It'd be hard not to with a pretty face like that.” You let out a flustered laugh, your eyes dropping to the floor. You jumped when there was a sudden knock on the door. You reluctantly pull out of Vessel’s grasp, his fingers trailing across your waist as he tries to remain connected to you until the last possible moment. You slowly open the door, not knowing who to expect on the other side so late. You froze when your eyes landed on III, who was nervously swaying his heels on the creaky wooden landing outside. The moment he realized you had answered he immediately began to ramble.

“I'm sorry, I know you said you needed time to think and I absolutely respect that. I just, I know we kissed, and if you decide you don't want to go through with this I don't want it to make things weird-”

“III.” His mouth snaps shut as you softly say his name. You look back into your living room, Vessel’s head rested in his hand, he seemed mildly annoyed to be interrupted. Not knowing how to respond, you simply pushed the door wide open, III’s attention immediately drawn to Vessel. “We were actually just talking about that.” His eyes widen slightly, his gaze switching between you and his friend.

“Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt-”

“I was just leaving, actually.” Your brows furrowed in confusion. You turn to face him as he walks up to you. He cradles your face in his hand, “tonight was wonderful, I hope we get to do this again soon.” He swipes his thumb across your cheek, leaving a thin black streak in its wake. “Goodnight, love.”

“Goodnight, Ves.” You respond breathlessly. You turn to face III, pulling your bottom lip between your teeth before reaching out and taking his hand, tugging him inside your apartment. His eyes stay locked on you as he follows you through the door, shutting it quietly behind him. “I really enjoyed, um… kissing you last night was really nice.” You let out a flustered laugh. “I don’t want you to worry that you made things weird.”

He chuckles, “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it.” He stuffs his hand in his pockets, shifting his weight awkwardly. “I hope that talk you guys were having was a good one.”

“I think you’ll be very satisfied with the outcome.” You giggle. He gazes at you curiously, the usual playful sparkle back in his eyes when he realized he hadn’t scared you off.

“Is that so?” He saunters closer to you, his towering height and intense gaze threatening to make your knees buckle. “You let me know if any of this is moving too fast, okay?” He says sweetly, gently cupping your jaw.

“Okay.” You smile up at him. He trails his thumb over your bottom lip, his bright blue eyes darting around your features as he drank in the sight of you.

“You are simply gorgeous, love.” He whispers after a moment of silence.

“You flatter me too much.” Both hands slide around your waist, gently pulling you flush against him.

“I'm only telling my girl the truth.” He smiles. Your eyes flash up to meet his, the declaration of being his girl making your heart flutter in your chest. “Well, it seems like we have the night to ourselves. What would you like to do?” Wordlessly you take one of the hands that had settled against the curve of your hip, guiding him towards your couch. You threw on a movie, something mindless that you didn't need to pay attention to. Tonight was about spending time with III. No distractions, no hidden feelings, just you and someone who made you feel like a girl experiencing her first crush all over again. III takes you in his arms, laying back and pulling you on top of him in the process. One arm resting comfortably behind his head, the other slung over your waist as the two of you cuddled in a comfortable silence. “You know, I was really worried all of this would make you never speak to me again.” He speaks up after a while through a quiet chuckle.

“I was definitely a bit nervous about the idea, still kind of am if I'm being honest.” You laugh softly, absentmindedly tracing shapes against the soft material of his sweatshirt on his chest. “But, none of you have given me any reason not to trust you, so despite being nervous I feel like this is the right choice.”

“How you feel about this is very important to me, okay? If there's ever anything I can do for you love, just let me know.” He rubs his hand soothingly up and down your back, keeping you pressed close to him almost as if he was scared if he let you go you'd disappear. The two of you stayed up talking late into the night; you learned that III is more of a cat person than a dog person, his favorite color is red, and he would willingly disappear into the woods without a trace if it meant never folding laundry again. “It's such a dumb concept, I'm going to put the damn clothes on anyways. Why do they have to be folded and put away?” You hid your face against his shoulder, trying to hide the fact you had tears forming in your eyes from laughing so hard. You look up at him with a bright smile, the tangent dying in his throat as his eyes meet yours. He slowly sits himself up on his elbows, your body responding as it gradually slid into his lap. One of his hands pressed into the small of your back, keeping you held as close to him as possible, the other moving to cup your cheek.

“I haven't been able to stop thinking about kissing you since last night.” You admit in a tone barely above a whisper.

“Trust me, I wasn't doing much better.” He chuckles, his gaze briefly flashing down to your lips. “Everything about you… everything about you is just so perfect, and for the life of me I can't figure out why you give me the time of day.”

“Because you make me feel like I'm the only girl in the world.” Your voice shook as you spoke, you could hear your heartbeat thundering in your ears and you were nearly positive that III could hear it too.

“Because you are the only girl in the world for me.” He admits without a second thought. “I haven't been able to get last night out of my head. Of course I want to kiss you again, but this time I want to kiss you and mean it.” Trembling fingers rose to the edge of his mask, glancing up at him through your lashes asking for silent permission to raise his mask enough to kiss him. He nods, studying your nervous expression as you gently took the edge of the fabric and raised it to just below his nose. Your breath was snatched from your lungs as III crushed his lips against yours, your mind immediately swimming in the overwhelming sensation that was him. His lips subtly sweet as he eased your mouth open, his tongue carefully caressing yours, making sure to take things at a bear agonizing pace in order for you to be able to back away at any time. Your hands slid up his torso, III shivered under your delicate touch. You felt lightheaded as the kiss took over your senses; the euphoric feeling of his warm lips against yours, the deep, earthy smell of his cologne, his massive hand kneading at the softness of your hip. You both pulled away equally breathless, your hands coming up to his mask in order to readjust it into place before he had a chance to.

“I think you definitely meant it this time.” You giggle, your forehead falling to rest against his.

“There's going to be plenty more where that came from.” He winks playfully at you.

III decided to leave you for the night when you could barely keep your head up anymore. He scoops you up in his arms. You grumble in annoyance despite the fact you immediately begin to nuzzle your face against his chest. “Where are we going?” You ask through a yawn.

“I’m taking you to bed sweetheart, you need to rest.” He chuckles.

“-’m not tired.” You try to protest, your actions only make him laugh again before he presses a kiss to your forehead.

“Says the woman who can’t keep her eyes open.” You could hear his smile in his voice.

“I don’t want you to leave.” You admit softly.

“I know love, but you have a store to run, I’m afraid I’ve kept you up more than I already meant to.” He carefully maneuvers himself so he’s holding you in one arm, pulling back your blankets with his now free hand. He lays you gently into bed, his knuckles trailing across your cheek. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” His head dips down, allowing you to share one more chaste kiss before he left you to fall into a dreamless sleep.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Tag List: @spookyghostjelly @herripinkle @xdarkcreaturex @crexpy34 @thepoisonedchalice @saturnhas82moons @wingsofeternitysstuff @creamwhxre @itsyagirl-snowflake @themultiverseofmars @bookishpenguino @m0cha-bunny @madsthenightowl @dangerkittenclaws @rainy-darling @shad0wcast @amara-among-the-stars @v3nu5 @dontpercieve-me-pls @ripleyswife @thepityscene @lipstick-and-lycanthropes @vmpireskiss @savaneafricaine @sanekiii @ajordan2020 @diditgirl13 @sodomizerrrrr @mishaglass @thisbicc @chewbrry @backwards-readings @popppylove @lovelyan @asianchic-44 @littlemiss-sakura @sleepy-time-dreamy @deltottoro @miss-multi45 @bloodyquillink-blog @moni-cah @feralfuckingcat @itslolitasworld @mysteriesof1995

#sleep token #vessel sleep token #sleep token vessel #iii sleep token #iv sleep token #sleep token iii #sleep token iv #sleep token worship #sleep token ii #ii sleep token #sleep token x reader #poly! sleep token #fan fiction #x reader #x yn #x y/n #sleep token band #sleep token fanfiction

297 notes · View notes

frenchfrywrites · 1 year

Text

Buying a Bottle of Lube at the Convenience Store.

MINORS DNI

Warnings: amab masc top dom reader, trans sub bottom Ukai Keishin, character smokes cigarettes, unprotected sex, safe sane and consensual tho, perceived unrequited love, love confession, brief cunnilingus, Keishin is a pillow princess

Terms used for Keishin: pussy, cunt, chest, cock, tits, hole, He’s wearing a binder during a bit of the fic.

I had a dream about haikyuu characters and somehow popped this fic out within a day. Apologies if ukai is ooc, ive been in and out of the haikyuu fandom lol

The sound of the bell ringing, signifying someone has entered the store, does not make Ukai Keishin look up. He's far into his night shift, and he’s entirely preoccupied looking over a strategy sheet for Karasuno’s next game, but he manages to mumble a half-assed greeting to whoever is shopping around regardless.

“Hello Keishin,” it’s only at the sound of your voice minutes later, suddenly so close to him, that he looks up. His lit cigarette nearly drops from his mouth, and he knows he looks like a deer caught in the headlights. He’d almost forgotten someone else was in the store with him, with how quietly you were walking around. You’re smirking, because of course you are, and it makes Keishin blush because of course it does.

He mumbles out your name as a greeting, his heart hammering in his chest. He’s annoyed that he’s this flustered just from seeing you. You’ve got him acting like a high schooler with a crush. You don’t seem bothered at all by his reaction. Instead, you set down a few items on his counter like there’s not an unbearable amount of tension between the two of you.

Keishin takes a shaky inhale of smoke from his cigarette, trying to calm his nerves and do his job like the grown ass man that he is. You wait patiently for him to collect himself, and finally he sucks in a sharp breath and blindly grabs at the first item.

Keishin scans a few drinks and snacks, dropping them carelessly in a plastic bag for you. The last item makes his heart jump.

Lube.

He glaces up at you, and you’re smiling at him expectantly. He thinks this is as much of an invitation as he’ll get.

“Um,” he clears his throat, “fuck do ya need this for?” the question was supposed to come off as aloof and playful, but with the way his voice cracks, it sounds more genuine and raw than he’d ever intended.

“Was hoping to use it on you, baby boy,” you purr. Keishin immediately feels heat explode between his legs. He chokes on his spit, and fumbles with the bottle.

“Okay,” he squeaks, and passes the lubricant to you. Within the next few seconds, he puts out his cigarette, and goes to flip the sign on the door so that it reads “closed.” Keishin then hurries to the back room of the store, with you close on his heels.

He has his hands on you as soon as you’re alone, clutching your shirt with his sweaty palms and hauling you forward to kiss him. Keishin can feel you smiling into the kiss, and his heart melts. He’s so in love with you it hurts.

You lick your tongue against his lips, one of your hands holding his hip as the other holds the lube. Keishin opens his mouth, even though he’s a bit insecure about the fact that he knows he’ll taste like cigarettes. You don’t seem to mind one bit, eagerly pressing your tongue into his mouth and sucking on his tongue.

Keishin groans, his grip on your shirt tightening, and the wetness between his legs steadily growing. He wants to feel your mouth on his pussy, and he wants your fingers- then cock- inside of him, and he doesn’t know which thing he wants more.

You push yourself right up against him, so he can feel your hard cock press against his aching pussy, and that gives him his answer. He needs you inside of him. Now.

Keishin pulls away from you, panting heavily, “fuck me,” he demands. You tut, leaning in and biting his lower lip, Keishin yelps, “sorry, god- ouch! Please fuck me?” he tries, sucking on his now swollen lip.

“That’s better,” you coo, pulling on the hem of his shirt. Keishin lends a helping hand, pulling off his shirt, and tossing it elsewhere. “Binder on or off?” you ask, and he tugs on your shirt while he thinks about it.

“Off,” he finally decides. You moan, and now it’s Keishin’s turn to smirk, because he loves how turned on you get from seeing his chest.

The next couple of minutes are full of readjusting: Keishin yanks off his binder, you pull off your shirt, and the two of you maneuver to the small futon that Keishin keeps back here for your little trysts.

With you on top of him, Keishin feels like caught prey. Your eyes scan his body hungrily, and then you dig in.

First you kiss and suck at his neck, to which Keishin whines about, for he’ll have to cover them before practice unless he wants to answer or evade a myriad of invasive questions.

You laugh, then move lower, burying yourself in his tits. Now Keishin whines for an entirely different reason. When you take on of his nipples into your mouth, he moans and arches his chest.

“Fuck yeah,” he groans breathlessly, holding onto your head, keeping you there. He lets you play with his chest for a bit, but it’s not enough, and only adds to the dull ache between his legs.

He groans your name, pushing your head lower, “c’mon, fuck me, please,” this time he remembers his manners.

You make your way down his abdomen, kissing his skin tenderly as you do. It makes Keishin flush more when you’re sweet and soft with him compared to when you’re nasty and rough. He doesn’t want to get his hopes up, but you’ve been a lot more sweet with him these days.

When you reach his pants, there’s some readjusting again as you get him out of them and his boxers. With the remaining fabric gone, Keishin is fully exposed to you, but the tingling sensation he feels isn’t nerves- it’s excitement.

Your hands immediately fly to his pussy, collecting his wetness on your fingers, then rubbing at his erect clit. Keishin moans, then wails when he feels you kiss the piercing he has directly above his clit.

“So noisy,” you muse teasingly, licking and sucking his clit into your mouth. Keishin resists the urge to sandwich your head between his thighs.

“Fuckin’ please man,” he begs as best as he can, “I’m dying, please, fill me up,” you pull off his cunt with a pop, and lick your lips.

“Noisy and needy,” you hum, going to pull off your pants. Keishin drools when you reveal your cock to him, and if he weren’t so wildly desperate, he’d demand (or beg, really) to suck you off first. You toss your pants elsewhere and grab the lube.

“Ah, should I have bought condoms too?” you ask. Keishin shakes his head, as it’s not like he’s messed around with anyone else since you entered his life, and he’s been tested.

“You clean?” he checks, sounding much too hopeful for his own liking. You smile fondly,

“Yeah, I’m not fucking anyone but you, baby boy,” and Keishin’s heart swells.

“Well I’m on the pill, so…” he trails off, shrugging. Letting out a pleased hum, you pop open the bottle of lube.

“I’m gonna creampie your pussy then,” you promise, coating your fingers. Keishin clenches around nothing, his lips parting at your dirty talk.

“Yeah,” he says dumbly, because he didn’t even know he wanted that as badly as he does. “Yeahhh,” he moans next, when two of your fingers slip inside of him. Keishin yanks off his headband and closes his eyes, bathing in the sensations of your fingers stretching and fucking him open.

“You’re opening up so well for me baby,” you praise, curling and spreading your fingers. There’s an obscene squelching sound coming from his pussy from how wet he is, and how much lube you used. Keishin is panting, and then moaning when your thumb plays with his clit. The symphony of noise echos in the back room.

“Fuck- Fuck!” he gasps when you add a third finger, “ooh ya better fuck me soon, or I’ll-”

“So noisy,” you tell him again, cutting him off, “we’re lucky no one’s in the shop,” and that image makes Keishin clench hard around your fingers. “Oh? Does my pretty baby boy want that? You want everyone to hear you begging for my cock?” He shakes his head, but lets out a long drawn out moan- effectively sending you a completely mixed message.

“Please,” he then practically sobs, and luckily for him, you take pity on him. Or maybe you’re just as wound up as he is.

You lather your cock in the lube, and hover over Keishin, placing your hands on either side of his head for stability. He wraps his legs around your waist, and when the tip of your dick brushes against his hole he lets out a choked moan.

Pressing your hips forward, you easily slip inside of him. Keishin’s mouth drops open as you push yourself inside of him.

“Oooh,” he exhales, sinking into the futon beneath him, looking entirely blissed out. You lean in, kissing his jaw when your hips meet.

“Taking me so well,” you murmur, kissing him again. Keishin flutters around you, babbling incoherently.

You start with a slow pace, letting him adjust to you, but Keishin’s been filling his hole with a dildo (that doesn't even begin to compare to you, but it gets the job done) every night that you’re apart, and it’s sooner than later that you can pick up the pace.

Keishin lets out staccato moans in time with each thrust, pawing at your chest, until his hands find their way behind your back. He claws at your skin when you reangle your hips and your cock slides deeper into him.

“Ah, fuck,” he cries, clenching like a vice around you, “gonna cum.”

“Already?” you tease, slowing down. Keishin lets out a frustrated grunt, using his legs to pull you further into him,

“Yes, now please, please make me cum,” he huffs, frustration evident already. You let out a soft moan, and speed up again, per his request. Keishin sighs happily, feeling his orgasm begin to peak once again.

“Want you,” he huffs, “want ya-ah t’cum in me, fuck me full’ve it please, wanna feel it drip-”

“Okay,” you cut him off, your thrusts becoming erratic and sloppy simultaneously. “I’m gonna cum too, god Keishin,” you whine, bringing a hand down to play with his clit.

That’s what sends him over the edge, and how could it not? His cock twitches under your touch as he clenches and pulses around you. Keishin cries out your name, digging his nails into your back so hard that you’re sure you’ll have marks later.

You follow him soon after, pumping his womb full of your cum as you’d promised, and Keishin lets out a weak groan at the feeling. “Kei-” is all you can manage to mumble before capturing his lips as you ride out your orgasm.

When you pull away, both of you are gasping for breath. You’re slow and gentle with pulling out, listening for any signs of pain or discomfort. You fall next to him, then fumble around for the blanket next to the futon. You cover the two of you with it, and snuggle up next to him as it always takes a bit for the two of you to recover before you can start cleaning him up.

“Damn,” Keishin covers his blushing face with his hands, “I love you,” he whispers, too caught up in the moment to realize what he’s said.

“What?” you don’t let it slide, tugging at his arms gently, “what’d you say?” you sound excited, and that’s the only reason Keishin repeats what he’d confessed.

“Said I love you,” he avoids eye contact, blushing furiously.

“Keishin,” you coo lovingly, hauling him into your arms, “I love you too!”

He lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding, and returns your embrace.

The two of you hold each other for a moment, until Keishin breaks the comfortable silence.

“Ya have to pay me for the lube, y’know,” he mumbles sleepily. You bark out a laugh,

“Sure, I’ll give you 400 yen,” you ruffle his two toned hair, “tomorrow.”

#hiiiiii this is literally so random but idk something possessed me #sub haikyuu #sub ukai keishin #spice #lmk if this needs cw but idk its p tame?

258 notes · View notes

albaqae · 8 months

Text

OH MY GOD I FINALLY WATCHED MUTANT MAYHEM AND DJJSAJJSNSNFHXJDJ

queue the ramble :) (also yes spoilers)

I’m so so happy being able to take off mutant mayhem filters NOW I CAN BASK IN THE FANART YES YESBEYYEYSYSYSYSA

Ok so like I pulled up right and I knew it was gon be GOOD, but IT WAS GOODER THAT GOOD???? After I watched rise I was like mkmk yea there’s NO WAY they can make them more teenager-y But they Did.

My friend my love told me that they told the VA to change the script if they wanted to and if they thought it was more relevant and honestly? BEST DECISION EVER

U can feel however u want abt the movie but I will Fight You about the relevancy of it so bad, like something that media tends to focus on capturing is the Present, the feeling of the very moment “insert thing” happens, and the relevancy of certain situations in certain times. It’s the very reason why nostalgia hits so hard, because it is capturing the feeling of being right there in that moment, and so effortlessly

That’s what I felt watching the movie, THEY LITERALLT SAID RIZZ AND SUS, and I never in my LIFE thought I’d hear that in an ACTUAL OFFICIAL MOVIE, I just KNOW history scholars are gonna psycho analyze every reference they make

ALSO I ADORE SPLINTER SO SO SO MUCHANJAJASJKEKNX, I love seeing just-became-a-father splinter it’s AKJSNDNX. I really really love the angle they took with him, and him seeing himself reflected in superfly and how being so strict hurts his kids because it doesn’t let them explore options or themselves fully, even if he really does think he’s right

ALSO HIM AND SCUMBAG AKAJNSNSNX IT WAS SO CUTEEEE IT KILLED MEEE

AND OH GOD near the end when superfly had the turtles and was abt to like snap them and I saw the broken shells I, no kidding, screamed. THE AMOUNT OF ANGST IVE CONSUMED THAT HAS HAD BROKEN SHELLS AS ONE OF ITS MAIN PLOTS AOQJJWNSNX, it was WILDDD having it canon ngl

Overall all the characters, like every single one, felt so fleshed out and real, it was genuinely so refreshing. I love how media now focuses on capturing raw human states instead of the heavily filtered beauty standard that our societies have for so long clung to. I think future generations being able to see that will really heal some of the damage being “chronically online” can cause

April had SUCH GOOD STYLE and I loved her :) because the plot was so heavy I almost expected a lot of the characters to not have an arc at all, so I was real surprised when splinter and April realized what they did was hurting ppl. The writers were REAL good at keep the plot semi-un-crowded despite how much was going on

Again, THE HUMOR WAS SO SO PRESENT DAY AKAJWJENNX

I loved Raph LIKE ALWAYS and how they made him an angry mf w/o making it against his brothers, and just making it as just how he is, I thought it was so nice to have an iteration where he keeps his spark without making it harmful to those he cares abt (his outfit at the end was so very fire it was my fav)

Mikey was so so sweet, I love whenever he’s both a goofy goober but also one of the most empathetic ones, the hope and kindness in his eyes <33

DONNIE WAS SO RADDDD, the VA did SUCH a good job, he has my fav voice and overall he was so cool in character too, freaking out abt the attack on titan doodle was so me and I love seeing a representation of what non-toxic fandom looks like that wasn’t seen as a problem or as meant to be looked down on, bro just loves k-pop and anime!!!

Leo was AMAZINFGGGT, they kept his leader persona and his want to take responsibility and decency without making him an ass !!! And for someone who grew up with 2012 Leo that’s something I was REALLY at awe at

It’s also the first turtle x human ship i don’t hate, they didn’t make Leo be CREEPY ASF LIKE W 2012 DONNIE, but he was still a hormonal teenager having a real crush and they were still friends

I also loved lizard dude

Superfly character was so rad too, the way he spoke and carried himself was really interesting to look at and I thought it was so cool, I love villains that have actual stories, AND BABY HIM WAS SO CUTEEEEE, wish we got more sibling content on him and his crew tho, but that’s very me nitpicking

Splinter cracking his back remind me of “BUMBUMBUM BUM BUM BUM!”

I love when tmnt doesn’t do orientalism :))) it’s very hard to avoid in iterations cause of the very foundation of tmnt, but I take it as a major W whenever we get a decent story(USUALLY AMAZING STORIES) that doesn’t rely on “oooohhhh mystery ninja stuff ooooooo” to make a compelling “aesthetic”

I also loved how Baxter stockman looked, and the turtle tots, the animation was OUT OF THIS WORLDDD, I rlly love how, as artists, we accept more diverse styles rather than just sticking to realism being the standard, because it allows for stuff like this to happen!!! And the scribbles added so much to the world ownqnnsndndjxjx I’ll rewatch it over and over again just for the art style

And also when Leo call himself leon IT MADE ME SO HAPPY BC LIKE LEO IN RISE LIKES LEON TOO IT FELT LIKE A WINK WINK SKSNSNWNMSND not sure if it was tho but it was me giggling and kicking my feet

The plot itself was so good too in the way that it applies to more than mutants, the seeking of acceptance is something really really relatable in so many contexts: neurodivergence, queerness, immigration, and so so so much more????? It’s one of my fav things of most tmnt iterations, its themes carry on to other contexts, not just to the specific story being told. This is what leads it to being so attractive to so many audiences

The music was very atsv and I thought it was so rad, it’s always nice to watch a movie that has that kinda soundtrack, especially in urban settings it’s a lot more fitting than an orchestra (sometimes, or at least I think)

By the time me movie was over with the BADASS SHREDDER APPEARANCE I lost control of my body and was just happy stimming violently and my friends just kinda 🧍‍♂️ at me, and they got the same rant u just read but even more messy, if that’s possible

I’m proud to have mutant mayhem as an official tmnt iteration, and I’m proud of the work that’s been done, and I hope to in the future maybe somehow contribute to a version too!!

I didn’t revise this, and it’s very messy, and I doubt I’ll go back and fix it, but it’s just beginning thoughts :D if you actually read this far thank you and I love you

#mm spoilers #tmnt #rottmnt #save rottmnt #tmnt analysis #mm! tmnt analysis #mutant mayhem #mm tmnt #mutant mayhem spoilers #mm raph #mm Donnie #mm leo #mm Mikey #mm splinter

36 notes · View notes

friendlyengie · 8 months

Note

Heyo thought I’d drop some random tf2 hcs and stuff cause of ur post :D

- scout and Pyro get along really well and scout will draw for pyro. Scout likes them cause he seems to actually listen to scout talk

- Engineer is pretty oblivious when it comes to people having feelings for him and hes (kinda accidentally) decent at flirting tho

- Engineer is like a father figure to scout and it makes spy really jealous lol

- Demo is really good at karaoke

- Since spy is good at finding this out about people based on body language etc. he knows exactly who has crushes on who in the base and he thinks it’s SO OBVIOUS but it’s not to the rest of them and he’s really close to just screaming at everyone that they’re blind and to just kiss already. He’s just forced to watch all these pining idiots dance around each other and he hates it

- Heavy and Medic have a book club that is just the two of them

- Scout would be a good dad later in life if he had a kid

ohohhoho interesting. Cracks my knuckles.

-scout and pyro friendship truther until I DIE. I find the idea of scout going from being terrified of this weird “thing” to just being besties with Pyro kind of hilarious. I think they can both do art pretty well actually! I like to think they run around towns and do graffiti together.

-Nodding at this. I also think it helps that (to me) hes naturally very friendly and polite because of how he was raised and like half of the people on his team havent heard anything nice from another human being since they were actual children (if that.) Is he good at flirting or are your standards dangerously low? Is it both? Great question!

-Ive always seen engineer as more of a low-maintenance uncle figure to scout If That. They’re just kind of a pretty standard close older dude with a lot of life experience and younger dude with fuck all going on friendship to me. and tbh ive never. Really been able to get behind the idea of spy being “jealous” of any sort of relationship Scout has with other mercs. Whether it’s him being weirded out by father standins or judgemental of potential partners. I don’t think he doesn’t have a weird relationship with seeing scout bond with the other mercs but i feel like it’s just sort of. Idk. A little more of a unique issue for him.

-Accepted. Though i think “good” for him ranges from “genuinely good singing” to “loud, overconfident, and having a great time getting half of the lyrics wrong.”

-As much as I think it would be fun if spy was surprisingly emotionally dense, i cant deny his canonical skills in that sort of field. That’s like. His whole game. I think his approach to trying to help anyone with romance is “he wont unless youre prepared to basically just inflate his ego for the sake of a few tips.” A la expiration date.

-no doubt in my mind that heavy and medic dont agree with a single thing that the other gleams from reading books. Said with love. They will argue about meanings and subtext and the value of interpretation until it sounds like someone’s about to file for divorce and then end with “so same time next week ^_^?”

-I will be so honest with you. I do not know if i could ever see scout being a father, much less a good one NDGSKHJDKNJJ.

Actually . Hm. Thinking about it. I could. SEE it in a sense. I think he would have some good steps to go off of because of his Mom. Unsure of how good his ma’s parenting was but she at least was very caring toward her kids. He’d have that. But i think he’d have to be a lot more emotionally mature to be able to process how his own current issues with dads and fatherhood would healthily translate into being a dad himself. I could see him being really laid back and maybe a little too “im not just your parent, im your friend,” and any hypothetical kid he has would Not take his ass seriously. I think having to parent a teenager would kill him.

#tf2 #asks #The Clown Speaks

44 notes · View notes

borderline-culture-is · 2 months

Note

Hi, this is a long ask. I am not diagnosed with anything, but Ive been thinking that I might have bpd. I started self harming at 9 yo, and was given ssri and antipsychotics to treat the symptoms, because i was too young to be diagnosed. Three years ago I moved countries, and I was so stressed that I literally ragequit talking all my medications, because I couldn’t sustain importing it from my country. Follow two horrible years of withdrawal, where I kept having derealization episodes, panic attacks, delusions followed by crying spells that lasted for hours, inability to maintain any relationships at all, I was incredibly angry and abusive to my mother, all that fun stuff. For the first year I refused to get any therapy because I thought they didn’t care about me and didn't want to settle for that, and the second year I was so crushed that if a fucking rock would listen (metaphorically), I would break down to it. Still not getting much support atm because being underage in an unfamiliar system makes it really hard to know what to do.

I only shook out of this state in the beginning of this school year, when my teacher called the cops on me for self-harming. I started working on regulating my emotions, meditating, and just accepting that I am the weird one for feeling this way and learning not to blame or burden other people. I also started noticing that my whole live ive only had FPs, and not a lot of genuine close relationships (I feel like I depend on them for my satisfaction, always feel betrayed for not being closer, but also feeling hesitant to even call them a friend). Before I kinda just assumed that everyone felt the same way, and that I was pathetic for feeling dependent and lonely. I also noticed that I have horrible episodic memory loss, I have to exclusively rely on other people or recorded evidence to shape any perception of my past.

I think, to an extent, my other traits have cancelled out some of my symptoms: I never lashed out or argued with my classmates because I was too scared that they would leave me, so instead I forced myself to act in the most mild way possible; I do have black and white thinking towards new people, but I make myself ignore it because I understand that it is my fault and I am being unreasonable; I never acted impulsively because I was too depressed or too scared to be proactive in any way at all.

My biggest issue with self-diagnosing is that I have never had any traumatic experiences. I come from a caring family, and, although I still blame my mom for feeling unfulfilled and neglected, there isn’t anything my parents really did wrong. She did as much as she could and I feel guilty for resenting her. I don’t remember any of my childhood, but it is completely reasonable to assume that nothing ever happened that would count as traumatic.

My point is, I have already either developed some coping mechanisms, or have come to accept that I will always feel misunderstood and unhappy. Even if I do have some kind of a disorder, I am unsure whether I should even try to get diagnosed in the first place. If I do, this would mean that my whole life is thrown out of the window with a diagnosis like that on my medical chart. It would negatively impact my human rights, my employability, my independence, all those things I really can’t afford to compromise, being an immigrant and trans. But at the same time, I just really want to find out what the hell is wrong with me, to feel understood and to have some support on how to live a normal life.

Yeah I guess the main purpose of this ask is to vent to someone who understands, and to ask for your opinion and advice on whether you think I have a disorder and if I should attempt to get it diagnosed.

--☀️🎣anon

okay. even if you dont think you have any trauma, theres still a lot of factors that could contribute to it. i think its also worth mentioning that you said you cant really remember your childhood, so it does leave some room for trauma that you either may not remember or just might not see as traumatic. and i also think that feeling neglected as a kid could do some damage, even if its unintentional. sometimes parents hurt their kids without realizing, and it doesnt invalidate the way that you feel about it!!

as for diagnosis, i think its okay for you to self-diagnose, as there are a lot of difficulties and struggles that comes with being diagnosed. i think it really depends on whether or not you personally see it as worth all of the potential trouble that it can bring. i do think that your symptoms are valid, and i can see a lot of hem as lining up with BPD. if you're really doubting, i dont think downloading a copy of the DSM-5 would be a bad idea, since it's what professionals usually reference from anyway.

regardless of whether or not you choose to get diagnosed, you and your struggles are valid!!! as someone who has also experienced BPD symptoms since we were young, we definitely feel for you. if you definitely think you are borderline, then i believe you are valid as long as you dont mean any harm, and i am pretty sure that you dont :]. we genuninely wish for the best for you, and we hope that your situation and overall well-being gets better soon 🫶 (/p)

- oliver

#not culture #advice #bpd questions #vent #- ☀️🎣

11 notes · View notes

dappledpaintbrush · 3 months

Note

wow, looks like you can do an essay about Dimentio.

What do you think of the other characters?

For me in "short"

Tippi: The protagonist of the story and got her happy ending, I came to miss her presence after the end.

Count Bleck: Definitely one of Mario's best written villains. I cry.

Nastasia: I was in her place, I empathized a lot with her and sometimes I wish she would return in other stories.

O'chunks: I was surprised by her story, I didn't expect that background, for me he is a himbo in a good way. A good guy.

Mimi: I can't say the same with Mimi, a little disappointed, but at least there are headcanons.

Mr. L: Definitely wasted potential, I would have liked to see more with the other minions. It's weird if I got a penny for every time Luigi is hypnotized into being an enemy I'd have two cents, which isn't much but it's weird that it happens twice.

Dimentio: It's thanks to him that I have an obsession with Jesters, he managed to do what Bowser couldn't with just a snap of his fingers. Terrifying, I hope one day we see it again.

OMG YAYAYAYAYAY IVE BEEN WANTING THIS ASK

Okay so. I’ll try not to make this unbearably long. But this game is my special interest so. I apologize in advance. (I turned off reblogs bc reblogging asks removes the read more) (and it’s gonna clog people’s feed) (this IS unbearably long) (I Failed)

Tippi:

Omg I miss Tippi too :( it feels so weird playing the game without her.

Tippi is so . so interesting. All of the characters are interesting, but I especially love the way she’s written. I love how they were able to nail that she’s gentle and caring, but also firm and not about to put up with anybody’s bullshit. To me, that’s hard to write without it feeling disengenuine, and they pulled it off with Tippi VERY well. A particular line of hers I really like is, “Perhaps...my life would have been more carefree without you, that is true,” in response to Blumiere’s, “But I have caused you so much suffering..." She didn’t immediately console him. She told him the truth, as harsh as it was. Idk, that scene had just always stuck out to me. It’s not a line I expected to be written.

I wish her unexplained teleportation powers were. Explained. But that doesn’t really mess up her character so it’s okay. However. I hate how she developed a crush on Mario. I’ve always hated it. I like to pretend it’s not real LMAO. But then again, it can be interpreted in a deeper way- that she didn’t actually have a crush on Mario and she was merely projecting onto him. Her memory was flooding back to her and she was in a very vulnerable situation after all. Projecting those feelings for an, at the time, unknown individual onto Mario makes sense.

I love Tippi dude she rocks she’s my favorite forever and ever and ever

Count Bleck:

where do I even begin on Count Bleck good lord. One of Nintendo’s best villains even outside of the Mario franchise. God he’s so fucking good.

I wish it was more clear whether or not he was planning on erasing Team Bleck from existence as well. Whether or not he was going to do that that impacts his character HEAVILY. Him wanting all worlds to end but sparing the people who cared about him really helps his “redemption” and helps us have more sympathy for him. Unfortunately it’s not directly touched on outside of that one thing Dimentio said, but. It’s Dimentio LMFAOOO we can’t trust him. I personally lean more towards Bleck was going to betray the team just given the evidence about it. I yapped a lot about my reasoning IN A POST I CANT FIND. It had a bunch of screenshots and stuff and I can’t. Fucking. Find it. Oh well I guess that’s just GONE ❤️

Despite this I feel like it’s important to address Bleck with nuance. I don’t think he intentionally planned on betraying his team. I think he genuinely loved them. But he was so caught up in the Dark Prognosticus and the Void and Timpani and ultimately BEING this Count Bleck character the book spoke of that he felt like there was no way out of it anymore. This is supported by the fact he tried to fight Mario in the final battle despite knowing Timpani was still alive. It’s clear Blumiere had completely lost himself, as if he forgot why he was doing this in the first place and let Count Bleck take over (note: I mean this in a symbolic/psychological sense; I don’t believe the book was controlling him). It’s only when he’s on his death bed that he realizes he does not have to do this.

I put redemption in quotation marks because. I don’t think he was redeemed. Granted he didn’t have enough time to do anything, but to be honest, I don’t think he or any other member of Team Bleck is redeemable (before anybody comes at me with the lament au/ajl, THE POINT IS THAT DIMENTIO IS NOT REDEEMABLE NO MATTER HOW HARD HE TRIES!! YOU CANNOT REDEEM THE EXTERMINATION OF LIFE ITSELF!!!)

Also he’s a goofy guy. He’s just a dad

Thoughts thoughts THOUGHTS THOUGHTS THOUGHTS

Nastasia:

NASTASIA COME BACK TO ME. God I wish they kept her emo hair strand.

Her character is so. so sad (I feel like I’ve said that sentence forty seven times, this game is MISERABLE). I love her so much. I love her confidence, I love how she doesn’t take bullshit from anyone, I love how much she loves. It makes me so fucking sad how depressed she remains long after Blumiere’s sacrifice. Like, we don’t know how much time passed between the ending of the game and Mario returning (when you boot up the save file again, Merlon states that it has been a while since he’s seen Mario). It explains why Mimi and O’Chunks seem fine (I’m sure they’re not fine, but I mean it explains why they were able to have a “normal” conversation with Mario and co.), but Nastasia is still so heartbroken.

Of course that is to be expected, and I’m glad Nintendo didn’t make everything all sunshine and rainbows ooo we’re all happy now etc, even IF a long time has passed. It makes total sense that there are repercussions to experiencing a traumatic event and Nastasia portrays it well (for a Mario game). In her epilogue dialogue, her hope for better days is shallow. It’s fake. She shows how she truly feels and immediately backtracks (“I guess I should be happy... I mean, I am, but, um...”). She still wants to put on that confident and secure exterior, but it’s not working. She will always love Blumiere, and she will always miss him. I hope she finds happiness one day, too. She deserves to live her own life.

O’Chunks:

O’CHUNKS IS SO UNDERRATED. FUCK

I know I’m contributing to this I barely post about him but lord he’s so interesting. I know the Japanese and English translation tell different versions of his backstory, but I really like the English version where Blumiere manipulated him in his extremely depressed state to join him. It gives more layers to Blumiere’s character- the lengths he was willing to go to get this job done, lengths that he would have never gone to before losing Timpani (and himself).

O’Chunks has one of the most unforgiving backstories in the whole games and it’s rarely talked about. He was a fucking COMMANDER OF AN ARMY and the whole game he’s just played off as some dumb brute/comic relief. I actually believe he suffered some kind of brain damage from that final battle, explaining his eyes, his struggle to speak properly, and his overall behavior. Also, the fact one of his most trusted advisors betrayed him mirrors his relationship with Dimentio. JUST. GOD . RIPS HAIR OUT. I wouldn’t blame him if he never trusted anybody again after the events of the game. But he clearly has a heart of gold beneath that rough exterior, so I doubt that mindset would come to pass

Also I know it’s not this deep like at All but . Regarding O’Chunks and his backstory, the last war fought in Scotland was the Battle of Culloden in 1746. The Scots lost that battle too, so it fits O’Chunks backstory. It’s funny to imagine he’s hundreds of years old and he just Stopped Aging once he joined the “Mario Dimension” for lack of a better term LMAO. Side note, I also believe Blumiere lost Timpani centuries ago- especially considering the Ancients are extinct by the time the game takes place (although I’ve heard it’s possible Blumiere murdered the entire Tribe of Darkness? but that’s ambiguous) (and my feelings on it would be another yapping session so I’ll shut up for now). It just took THAT long to get the criteria for the Void met. So it’s interesting to think of the concept that O’Chunks and Blumiere have known each other for THAT long. Probably why he sent O’Chunks out to fight the heroes first. He trusted him the most. But then again, I know the game did not intend for O’Chunks to be born in the 1700s lol. Like I said it’s just interesting for me :3

Mimi:

MIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMIMI!!!! MY GIRL!!!!

I agree with you- her backstory is disappointing compared to characters like O’Chunks and Dimentio. But at the same time I enjoy the unknown. After all, she is the embodiment of mystery. Her whole shtick is mimicking. You never know if a character is truly themselves or it’s a copy (I mean, you do- her mannerisms are obvious- but still lmao)- hell, even SHE canonically loses herself sometimes in her mimics. But even then, I wish we knew more about her. AND I WISH THE CONCEPT OF HER BEING A FAILED PIXL WAS TALKED ABOUT MORE? WHAT??????? HELLO????? REMINDERRRR that you can’t just go about making Pixls. That was a practice for the Ancients, and the ONLY reason Merlon could do it is because he is a descendant of the Ancients with a shit ton of their books. How old is Mimi? How much has she seen? If she’s centuries or even thousands of years old- depending on how long ago you think the Ancients died out- what was she doing this whole time??? LIKE HELLO!!! MIMI!! SPEAK TO ME!!!!

I love love LOVE LOVE LOVE how she can be used as a parallel to the Pixl Queen in regards to Dimentio. Dimentio and Mimi have a sibling dynamic to me, and the story potential considering Dimentio’s biological sister got turned into a Pixl and. Yk. Mimi could possibly be a failed Pixl. Is INSANE and I WISH it was used more because holy shit it has so much potential.

I like to believe the Pixl Creator (aka Dimentio’s father imo) created Mimi even if there’s no evidence JUST LET ME HAVE THIS but I also made a post maybe a year ago that theorized Francis’ ancestors created Mimi. I don’t think it’s really recognized that Francis CREATED A PIXL WITHOUT MAGIC. Yk that spell that requires the magic of the Dark Prognosticus? Yeah just forget that shit I said earlier about Non-Ancients not being able to just go out and make a Pixl, because apparently this fuckass Redditor did it. Anyways. Tipton is a robot. Mimi is a robot. I rest my case (loud applause) (people throw roses at me)

I already made posts about Mr. L and Dimentio, so I won’t ramble anymore here :3 But in regards to what you said YEAH . Mr. L could’ve been so much more it’s genuinely painful. And Dimentio is fucking terrifying. I honestly like to believe he did genuinely nuke the protagonists and the game only said he merely teleported them because saying “Mario’s dead like for real” is probably something Nintendo didn’t want to put in their game. I mean come on- he used the explosion attack that causes actual damage in battle. They died LMOAOOAOA. I hope we see both of them again. I was hoping so BADLY for even a glimmer of Mr. L in the Mario movie-like a mask/bandana hanging out of a drawer cameo or something. BUT ITS OKAY GUYS 😁😁😁😁😁😁 (visibly shaking) (teeth chattering) (is missing patches of hair on my head) (rocking back and forth)

#spm #super paper mario

11 notes · View notes

stxrshxpxd · 5 months

Text

okay real talk i feel like im forgetting what it’s like to have friends. and im losing the urge/need to have them(if i ever had the urge). i have friends but only in places far away so i don’t hang out with people in person and it’s been like that for years, with like one exception. and even people ive met through work and school the past few years it’s like ??ok i dont necessarily have the urge to go out of my way and hang out with you?? i just feel like with everyone i meet and get to know im just polite and nice and funny enough but i don’t get anything out of it and i don’t feel particularly joyful from the exchange. im just like meh. (except ex crush guy but i cant be friends with him anymore. its a whole thing.) and its also a habitual thing like im so used to not hanging out with friends these days i kind of wouldn’t even know what to do or whatever and im so used to this life it’s like🤷🏻‍♀️. and the thing is i’ve always been introverted and preferred being on my own but idk… i think back to like different schools when i had my different irl friend groups and i think i genuinely felt joy and whatever from those friendships, but that’s so out of reach for me now. and maybe i should rekindle those friendships but then again i feel like ive gotten nowhere and done nothing since we grew apart and i keep waiting for my life to like pick up before i can associate with old friends again or even new friends. and that’s probably so fucking stupid but. i do envy people with real close irl friends and i wish i could be that person with friends who are like family idk

#hello void

8 notes · View notes

ginnsbaker · 9 months

Note

Ginny baby I’m having a mini-crisis

I think I like my best friend and I don’t know how to go about getting rid of this. I’ve known her for 7 years and throughout that time I’ve had two separate occasions where I developed feelings for her, first time not that serious but I can’t say that about the second time. Admittedly the second time I surely panicked briefly but the feelings faded both times, what always followed after was that I’d feel insane for even believing I could feel that way about her in the first place.

BUT now it’s back and I’m in a sort of denial about it? I talked about it with another author here before but we ultimately chalked it down to it just being attraction. Now I’m scared that’s not the case?

Last night I went clubbing with some close friends but I ran into (let’s call her Wanda I guess?) while waiting in the line to get in. Wanda looked so damn good, I’m already shorter than her normally but she’d was in all black wearing her platform shoes along with a skirt and a blouse. Wanda and I are touchy drunks(with other friends too) but the way that we’d been last night had me feeling something. Whenever Wanda and I would talk, we’d lean our bodies closer together and start talking directly into each others ears, her hands finding mine after the start of every sentence- one would assume we were doing that because we couldn’t hear one another but it wasn’t loud and when we’d talk to the people around us we’d stay firmly in place. Wanda went out with three friends and one of them was this guy who I knew liked her, I thoroughly enjoyed the fact that he saw me holding her and talking to her in a way that looked intimate.

I didn’t really think much of it last night cause I’d been focused on having a great time, but now that it’s day I’ve realized all of that really put a different angle to the perspective I once had about what I was feeling and why. I hate it, i want it to go away because I’ll always prioritize maintaining our friendship above anything else, this is not something I’ll ever admit to anybody I know but I guess I’m saying all this because I wanted to ask if you’ve ever been in a similar situation and how did you cope? How did it play out for you?

Somebody once told me it might only be attraction and a gauge that I could use to see if it was is imagining a future with them and I wish they hadn’t said that. I’d genuinely believed it was just attraction but I’ve been thinking about that question all day today, the answer to that question has my heart racing at the imagination of it all, but I swear I’d been indifferent to it when I’d first been asked.

The less I think about it, the more I ignore it, the less it feels real so thanks for letting me rant to you gonna go back to gaslighting myself out of this(SI SE PUEDE). Needed to get all this off my chest. 😮‍💨

omg sorry I was already asleep when this went in.

*wears calliope's hat* before we proceed i have a couple of questions:

how long have you known you're attracted to your bestfriend? was it even before you were friends?

have you been in relationships with other women?

(disclaimer: im not a therapist of any sort im just experienced when it comes to being gay cause ive been gay since i was 2 and now im almost thirty lol)

I'm assuming she's straight? so here's my #1 piece of advice is: NEVER FALL FOR STRAIGHT GIRLS

fine, there might be few instances where falling for straight girls will eventually shake their sexuality and give us a shot, but dude, that very rarely happens. Fics, movies, tv series love to portray them often but in reality.... NO.

Feelings for bestfriends WILL pass. I assure you that. Cause yea, I've been in your shoes. I met my best friend in college during sophomore year, and we were from different groups of friends and I intentionally got to know her because I had a crush on her (turns out later on, she also has a crush on me, but it's the type of crush where she finds me pretty so it's basically straight people crush). She had a boyfriend when we became close/bestfriends and I was hang up on her for two years before the feelings finally went away.

Now she's married, and she's still my bestfriend and everytime I think about the past where I was very attracted to her, I'd laugh.

I coped by just letting it run its course. And definitely being interested in someone else helps. Go out there, meet new people, get to know new people. You have the luxury of using a dating app without being judged for it (in the 2010s that's not the case).

Again, whenever possible: DO NOT FALL FOR STRAIGHT GIRLS

The less I think about it, the more I ignore it, the less it feels real so thanks for letting me rant to you gonna go back to gaslighting myself out of this(SI SE PUEDE). - Dude, keep thinking about it. exhaust yourself. go through the drama and the wonderful feeling of being attracted to somebody. it's all part of life. accept that you have feelings for her and then decide: 1- if you want to pursue it 2- if you want to let it pass.

I decided not to pursue it because she's really straight despite the fact that she's touchy and back in college, i'm the only one she'd ever sleep in her apartment and we kissed like 1-2 times on the lips (yes straight girls dont mind)

But in the future, lemme repeat: DO NOT FALL FOR STRAIGHT GIRLS

#asks #anon #ginn's advice column #lol not really

7 notes · View notes

strawberryfaced · 4 months

Text

i don’t know about u but i relate to each and every one of the owl house characters so much. and they make me feel safe on a different level. and it’s not like id ever type a 15 page long essay about it what do you mea

thinking about when Amity stopped herself from watching Luz’s video without her permission despite being immensely worried. thinking about when she confronted Luz and made sure to communicate first and comforted her instead of accusing her of stuff and how Healing it was for me to watch that. thinking of Lumity’s enemies to lovers and how obsessed i was and how completed i felt. this ship meant so much to me no one will ever know. forever the kiss scene the animation the dialogue everything i will cry thinking about it Every Time

thinking about Willow and Gus’s friendship. thinking about them so hard. i personally relate to both Willow and Gus soooo strongly. Willow is me in so many aspects: the therapist friend, kind of underestimated, sort of the mom but also cradled as the child and Gus is just a silly guy as well as the smallest one in the friend group which i highly relate to. strangers tell me and my twin sister apart by me being smaller than her and my friends call me short and small on a daily basis. okay and them together is Crazy. i loved the way they met and Willow’s tactic to calm down ive been using for a few months now whenever i have a really bad day. and it genuinely helps so Fucking much so i will forever owe that to TOH. i think my dream will always be to have friends like the two of them

don’t Even fucking get me started on King and Eda and Hooty and Luz and the actual owl house. my home actually. they mean the absolute most to me out of the whole show. when they reunited in s3 i cried for a good hour. im shedding a tear writing this. oh my fucking god i don’t know what it is about them but their found family thing they have going on is insane. they will honestly forever mean more to me than the hexsquad. no words will explain how much like home they feel to me. on my worst days i imagine being there. oh MY GOSH OH MY GOD AND WHEN EDA SAID “alright, kid. listen to me. im going away, and i don't know if i can bounce back this time. watch over King, remember to feed Hooty. and Luz, thank you for being in my life”. top 10 hardest times i cried. I sobbed so hard my chest hurt.

ok next Hunter. to be honest i was never the biggest fan of him merely because of how over hyped he was by the fandom just because they all had crushes on him but he’s genuinely such a cool guy. he was such fucking good representation and idk but the way we got to watch him form relationships with everyone. it was beautiful. and i heavily relate to him despite him being a sort of grouchy dude and me being an overexcited puppy. he’s got this gifted kid burnout and obsession with validation vibe that is identical to mine and it means a lot to me to see my weirdest most annoying toxic traits seen in him

okay as you can tell im unhealthily attached to this show. these paragraphs are kind of silly but i don’t think anyone will Ever Ever understand no matter how many words i write . i remember starting the show in quarantine and being so obsessed with it and staying in bed all day. i had to hold in my smiles all the time it was exhausting. one time i tried to explain the show to my sister and i cried and couldn’t stop. it’s been a while since it’s ended but i still think about it on a weekly basis.

#the owl house #TOH #forever my soul. forever my love

5 notes · View notes

beth-march · 2 years

Note

respectfully when was byl*r EVER going to happen. like yes will is gay and I do think he has had a little thing for mike for a while (which is believable and fine! and he’s allowed to feel put out by it) but when was byler ever happening. like be serious… and yes even though every season has been mike-and-el love-each-other-and-have-a-special-bond its cool to have these ships (like I can’t say im above elmax) but from what im seeing byler was this like expectation people had from the show. like they were owed will and mike to end up together when there had been no promises to that at all? like zero. there bad been some hints and nudges at will’s homosexuality like that scene in the van is probably the most obvious one this season and I WISH they’d stop pussying out and allow him his queerness in canon but ive never gotten the idea that it was reciprocated from mike. I don’t think will even thinks that either? he has a thing for a BOY and the boy is is best friend. it’s why it’s so complicated for him. mike’s a good friend to will and understands him a little differently than their other friends. but mike can be a good friend without liking will back romantically. in the nicest way possible stranger things is not therapy stranger things is not your father

It was never going to happen. I genuinely have no idea how people could have deluded themselves into thinking By*ler would become canon. Will being gay, yes, Will having a crush on Mike, sure, but there was never going to be canon reciprocation from Mike. Will knows this, that’s why he talks about wanting the loss to occur quickly, like a ripped off Band-Aid, and why he spoke around it. They have a special bond, a friendship that can survive a misguided crush. Expecting your personal interpretation of their bond to become canon is just setting yourself up for disappointment.

Their reaction has been… telling. It’s been very hateful and ugly. And like if you’re going to be this hostile, misogynistic and dramatic over fiction, there’s definitely a problem to be addressed there. I’m overly invested too, I get it, but how could that energy become something mean spirited? It’s just crazy to me.

#asks #stranger things spoilers

45 notes · View notes

demadogs · 2 years

Note

There’s this one blog on here that kinda weirds me out because they are so hyper deadest on shipping Foah together. Like whenever they write normal Byler posts, it’s so beautiful! But then, everything else idk. And I know a lot of us joke about Noah wanting to kiss Finn or vice versa but this blog gives off weird vibes because they seem to genuinely want Finn and Noah to date in real life. They also seem to make a lot of assumptions about their feelings for each other just because of their chemistry. And I don’t know how serious this blog is about it but it gives me Larry shipper vibes. Or like the Fack conspiracy all over again, which hurt Finn and Jack’s friendship at the time

oh my god im glad you brought this up i know exactly who youre talking about. every time i make a post telling people not to ship real people it was bc of that blog in particular. i have them blocked so im not afraid to talk about them. we’ve made jokes and memes about noah being the biggest byler shipper and wanting to kiss finn for byler and theyre mostly pretty harmless but this blog is just something else.

youre right, they make so many assumptions. it pisses me off and it does completely give me larry vibes. they talk as if they know finn and noah personally and theyre friends with them and have seen them interact. or like theyre an out couple like natalia and charlie. they usually respond to anons who call them out on it with something like “i dont ship foah, i just observe their interactions and anyone can see that they are crushing on each other”. that bothers me so much. like observe what the 5 minute press interviews?? you dont fucking know them. save your analyses for things that have been intentionally written and mapped out for FICTIONAL media, not two kid actors just being themselves. and then they’ll try to call the anons homophobic by being like “whys it such a big deal for noah to have a little crush on him??”, still fully talking as if its public knowledge and we’re the bad guy like oh my god how are you not understanding the issue here.

ive also noticed that they ignore anybody who tells them that finn has a gf. they just wont answer the anon (i know bc i have sent one) or ignore any replies about it. they live in this weird bubble where they choose to believe these real people are dating. and like ok i cant stop you from thinking theyd be cute together, theres nothing wrong with that, what makes it problematic is trying to read into their interactions and expressions and publicly suspect their relationship and sexualities on the internet. and again, they always try to be like “theres no harm in it im not directly @ ing finn or noah” but this is the internet. anybody can screenshot anything and put it anywhere. there is always a chance that either of them could see their posts and it could be so bad if they did. i dont think theyve ever once considered what it could be like to be finn or noah and see this.

like yes, there is a chance they’d just laugh about how ridiculous it is and move on but what if one of them actually was questioning their sexuality and then they saw some random person on the internet reading into it like this??? that would be so fucking hard. jack came out as bi after people were shipping him and finn so much. i cant imagine how anxiety provoking it would be to see what people were saying about him and finn while being in the closet. it gives ME anxiety on their behalf!! i hope so bad theyre blissfully unaware of this.

one anon told them that theyre using foah as a coping mechanism after byler didnt work out how they wanted in s4 and theyre so right. before vol 2 came out i saw maybe two posts from them in the byler tag about it that kinda weirded me out but after volume two they just turned into a foah blog instead of byler. they literally had byler in their url before and then they changed it to foah for fucks sake. and they still have the nerve to claim they dont ship them and what theyre doing is completely fine and just “observation”.

also i was looking at their blog once and they mentioned that they were 31 years old…. look it is not weird to ship byler at any age. i have personally as a 22 year old been told that its weird for me to ship byler and analyze these fictional characters and i completely disagree with that. theres nothing weird about shipping characters at any age even if the characters are kids (as long as youre not nasty about it) but real people??? god i would have been SO relieved if this person was like 15. i would not have gone as hard on them as i am right now if they were a kid because i would assume they would grow and eventually realize that its weird and invasive. i mean i remember reading stupid fanfics about youtubers when i was 14 but i grew and matured and realized how insane that is and no longer had any interest in reading into real peoples love lives. but i cannot excuse any adult shipping them like this.

god this ended up being so long i just had a lot to say. moral of the story: if actors have great chemistry on screen together it just means theyre good at their job, it doesnt mean theyre dating or crushing on each other in real life.

#this is one of the reasons i rarely am as invested in theorizing and analyzing a ship from a movie or show #theres always someone whos weird about it and wants the actors to get together #shipping book characters is so much more peacful they just exist in my head #byler #stranger things #man i really went off didnt i this is long as hell #eden answers

41 notes · View notes

rinhaler · 7 months

Note

friendship breakups is the worst imaginable pain, i completely understand if u need a hiatus. ive had a best friend who i knew from primary to secondary school who left me for my ex bf who she only knew for a year. i still think about that friendship till this day, like it rlly hurts like a mf

Thank you for this. This is genuinely the worst pain I’ve ever felt in my life I’m just fully crushed and can’t believe it’s even come to this for seemingly no reason. I’m sorry you went through that also that’s really shitty. I’m always here if you wanna vent in my ask box. I feel like I’m going through the stages of grief and I’m in denial right now hoping things might change but I’m probably wrong. I don’t know, I’m trying to be optimistic but maybe it’ll only end up hurting more. I’ve just referred myself for therapy too so hopefully that’ll help, it’s a long wait list and I might feel better by the time it can actually begin but if I’m still feeling like this hopefully it can help me start to get better. Anyway sorry for rambling, thank you for sharing with me and being supportive with what I’m going through there really lovely of you. I know you didn’t have to send this so the fact that you did is really kind. Take care nonnie 💕

#💌 — luxe mail

4 notes · View notes

cannedcrow · 11 months

Text

Arbitrary Darkness (Hermitcraft monster hunter AU) : Part IV

Part III

A/N: enjoy some angst and grit! I’m pleased with this chapter.

TW for blood and violence

~ please rb if you enjoy! ….〆(･ω･。) ~

Grian went still, his thoughts charging wildly as he processed the situation. His gun was pressed against the small of his back, but in this crowd it’d do about as much good as a peashooter. He decided it was best to employ the time-honoured tactic of weaselling.

“What?” He tried for casual amusement, but Scar leant towards him with an air of conspiracy.

“I can hear your heart beating, A~drien,” he said in a sing-songy tone, his friendly temperament not shifting a beat. This, Grian reflected with horror, was probably true - to make up for their poor sense of smell, phantoms had superb hearing and sight. His right arm still rested on the bar, and he began ever so slowly to slide it back towards his gun.

His movement did not go unnoticed. With barely a moment to spare, Doc slammed a heavy hand on Grian’s wrist and pinned it to the bar. Occupants were starting to take notice now, the thud drawing curious gazes to them. As Grian surveyed the onlookers warily, a horribly familiar face slid through the tables and Tango approached. He wasn’t wearing his glasses or gloves, and his eyes - that deep, hateful red - were still a shock to Grian. His shoulder was bandaged, judging by gauze that just peeked out of his shirt collar. His hands were blackened at his fingertips, ending in short, thornlike claws, and like Grian, he had a tail, long, dark and thin, with a tuft of fur at the end that twitched with interest.

“Hi, Tango!” Scar greeted him brightly, “A friend of yours dropped by to say hello.”

This new blow pushed Grian’s shock over the edge. He struggled to wrench free his right hand to no avail, and instead grabbed for his gun with his left - But it wasn’t there. A noise made him crane his head to see Etho absently spinning his gun on the bar and giving him an apologetic look, as though he were merely informing Grian that a hotel was full.

“Now now, play nice,” Scar scolded, anchoring Grian’s other wrist.

Tango cackled, a raucous sound like a cracking fire, an expression of wicked delight on his face.

“Hi buddy! Aw, you don’t seem pleased to see me. Maybe you were expecting -“ he raised his voice to a comical, posh falsetto, “Miss Tabitha Crawley, who’s so terribly worried about those monsters in the alley!”

He laughed again as a new wave of fury washed over Grian, burning in his cheeks.

“Lookit you, all dressed up!” He approached Grian, pulling the glove off the hand still being crushed by Doc to reveal the birdlike appendage beneath.

“Now that’s commitment,” Tango remarked with the same oily snideness. But as he examined Grian’s hand, he frowned just slightly, his derisive attitude faltering for the first time. Without warning, he dug his claws in hard, and Grian cried out in surprise.

“No way!” Tango exclaimed with genuine shock.

“No way what?” Grian spat, wanting nothing more than to kill Tango and get it done with.

“The term ‘race-traitor’ seems appropriate here,” Etho submitted mildly.

“Man, I can’t decide which of us should be more embarrassed. It never crossed my mind you were a nonhuman!”

Doc, who it seemed barely needed to exert any force to keep Grian pinned and was calmly sipping his drink, added, “and here we were thinking you were undercover. What an upset.”

Grian gritted his teeth. “What the hell is this?” He demanded with the frightened anger of one falsely accused, “whatever it is, you’ve got the wrong person. I haven’t done anything!”

He let his gaze flit pleadingly about the room and noticed some onlookers exchanging unsure glances.

“Uh, you sure you’re not manhandling a guest, Doc?”

The speaker was a stocky man a little shorter than Doc, whose dark brown hair was tied loosely back, almost hiding his pricked canine ears. He was dressed somewhat casually, his shirt half unbuttoned and his sleeves rolled up to to expose bluntly clawed hands covered in wiry dark fur that faded up his forearms. He had a sparse, neat beard surrounding a roguish, fanged grin that was oddly charming.

“Ren,” Doc greeted warmly, as if welcoming a guest to tea.

Paying no mind to the exchange, Tango’s eyes narrowed. “Save yourself some embarrassment and don’t try that bullshit with me, Grian,” he hissed, his breath hot on Grian’s face, “We had a perfectly civil thing going, but you were too much of a sanctimonious, nosy fuck to let a good thing be.”

“Civil?” Grian snarled, “You call yourself civil? You’re a murderous, conniving demon. If I had any sense I’d’ve rid the world of you the moment we met, monster or not.”

Anger rippled through the room at this. Grian realised he’d given up any pretence of ignorance, but that plan had long since withered. Anyway, it felt good to express his fury, however unwise his compromising position might make it.

“An imp, actually,” Doc corrected coolly, “no horns.”

Ren cocked his head, a gesture so doglike that if it weren’t for the gravity of the current situation, Grian would’ve laughed. “Hate to interrupt … but aren’t harpies carnivores?”

“Yeah Grian, aren’t they?” Scar pressed with mock-curiosity, clearly enjoying himself.

“I don’t kill people,” he gritted tersely.

Doc snorted. “So that’s why you are so … small. I thought you were a bird of prey, only I’d never seen one with such little wings.”

Grian flushed, irritated at the jab. He was sick of this, humiliated at being toyed with publicly and furious - at Scar, at Doc, at Tango and at his own naïveté.

“Whatever the hell it is you want, get it over with.” He had no intention of pleading, even if he’d thought it’d do any good.

Tango regarded him appraisingly, and it was clear from his utterly apathetic gaze that he hadn’t a shred of a reservation for Grian. There’d never been real friendship between them, and the polite mutual respect that existed had been shredded the moment Grian had drawn his gun in that alley.

“You think you’re different, do you?” Tango’s voice was venomous and twisted with derision. “You think you’re a hero? You’re just like the rest of us and you always will be. If you think you’re like them, then go - take off your cloak and gloves and wait for their gratitude. Go see how you like the people you think you’re saving; see how different they think you are.”

Tango took Grian’s hand again, holding it like a palm-reader would. Then he pressed the pad of his thumb hard into one of Grian’s talons, drawing a bright bead of blood that trickled down his hand, followed eagerly by another. He held his bleeding hand near Grian’s face as if letting a dog get acquainted with his scent.

“Come on, birdie,” he coaxed mockingly, a glint of gleeful cruelty in his eyes.

The scent of humanoid blood stirred the same deeply suppressed instinct in Grian as it always did. He felt his heartbeat rise just slightly and knew already his pupils would be dilating. He ran his tongue over his sharp canines.

I’ll kill you, he thought savagely as he unflinchingly returned Tango’s malevolent, ruby stare, I’ll rip you limb from fucking limb, you evil bastard.

Tango smiled even more widely and wiped his blood down Grian’s lips and chin, a horribly lascivious gesture that made him shudder involuntarily.

But Grian wasn’t the only one who’s interest had been captured by the fresh blood. Scar’s grip had slackened just slightly, his eyes fixed hungrily on the interaction before him. Now or never.

In a moment, he violently twisted his wrist free, grabbed the knife stowed in his waistband and used the arm anchored by Doc as leverage to plunge it into him - he didn’t know where, for in that split second, pain had exploded in his forearm, powerful jaws dragging him upwards before releasing him. He toppled backwards, falling hard with a spray of broken glass as his head cracked a shelf. His head spun wildly as he tried desperately to reorient himself, and when he looked up it was to meet the harlequin gaze of a massive, pale snow leopard, teeth freshly blooded and bared in a snarl.

The room had descended into chaos. He heard Doc shouting for order above the cacophony of inhuman anger and distress. His shoulder was badly wrenched and while the pain was distant, he felt blood pulsing from the deep wounds in his forearm, hot and angry and demanding that he take action. He scrabbled frantically in the broken glass around him, hoping for any sort of weapon, aid, anything. Etho padded closer, and among the bar’s detritus, his fist closed blessedly on what felt like a shrivelled, apricot-sized ball.

A thump came from behind him as Grian shoved the chorus fruit into his mouth, even as a huge paw attempted to swat it away.

Scar had evidently vaulted the bar, and without hesitation he sunk vicious fangs deep into Grian’s shoulder as though with enough force he could keep him there. Pain shot through him, acidic and hot. Etho leapt forward, teeth meeting in his wing, the weight of his forepaws crushing Grian’s torso as he extended his claws. He cried out, swiped blindly with his own talons and felt them find purchase in Etho’s furred cheek—

But Grian had already spat the chorus fruit pulp from his mouth, and he seemed to run through the teeth like water as space turned momentarily liquid.

The next thing he knew was the cool tile pressed against his cheek, shocking in competition with the sweat and blood like lava on his skin. Get up. Go! He’d been lucky to end up in the lobby, but he knew he still didn’t have enough time. He scrambled to his feet unsteadily, even as he heard Impulse’s concerned inquiry and accompanying hoofbeats. He fled through the corridor, slammed his aching shoulder against the concealed doorway, and stumbled through the maze of rusting slaughterhouse equipment, leaving smears of his own blood on metal that hadn’t tasted it for a long time.

Then he was in the alley again. The sky was an inky mass far above him, darker than usual thanks to the oppressive clouds. In his absence, the rain had returned in earnest, chilling him violently. There wasn’t any time to conceal his wings and tail, and Grian prayed the darkness and late hour would be enough to ensure silent streets.

Terror ran rampant throughout him as he dashed homeward, pain and rainfall distorting his sense of direction. More than the monsters he’d angered though, he was terrified of the bite on his shoulder. Phantoms had powerful paralytic venom developed to fell their prey without them having to latch onto them long. He had no idea how long he had before the venom started it’s work - depending on what percentage phantom blood was in Scar, it could be as little as 20 minutes. In his panic he fancied he could already feel venom creeping through his veins, turning them iron-wrought.

Thankfully, the streets were empty - no one sensible ventured into the rain on a night like this, not when any manner of crooks or monsters could be skulking in the shadows. He knew he was followed by an irregular trail of blood and hoped it would be enough to wash it away.

Seville Square was far behind him now, but as he navigated his way through the labyrinthine alleys of New Hermiton, his adrenaline took a backseat and his energy waned. He panted raggedly even as he shivered, soaked through with nothing but his undershirt on.

After what felt like hours, Grian recognised the stonework of the uniform apartments he knew as home. Undue relief washed over him like rain. It was as he made for the side door that he misstepped, slipping on the slick steps and tumbling helplessly to the base of the stairs a few feet below the street. As he curled tightly into himself, pain jolting through him, exhaustion saw it’s chance and swept in on heavy wings.

He couldn’t move anymore, too much of the adrenaline-wary pain and fear was pouring into him. The pavement was wet and slimy with moss, but at least it was partially sheltered by an overhang. He banged a fist weakly against the door, but either Mumbo wasn’t there, or simply couldn’t hear him.

He couldn’t bring himself even to stand. Pain lashing through his injured wing, he wrapped his wings tightly around himself, thankful for the camouflage of his dark plumage. He found himself sobbing, the kind that wracks one’s body entirely - though perhaps that was partially to the credit of his trembling. He wasn’t quite sure why he was crying - Anger, stress, fear, and pain were all valid contenders. His injuries ached dully, softly weeping blood onto the pavement. Scar’s bite burned with acidic fury, pain pulsing from it in steady waves. Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid.

The nights events replayed in his head over and over, snippets of conversation blurring together. ‘can’t drink on the job?’ … ‘..see how you like the people you think you’re saving…’ ‘I can hear your heart beating ….’

On a lullaby of disjointed memory, Grian was dragged beneath the black waves of fitful sleep.

5 notes · View notes

spushii · 2 years

Note

LITERALLY SO GLAD THAT THE FEELING INSANE OVER THIS SERIES IS MUTUAL FR ITS BEEN ABSOLUTELY TEARING ME APART id love to hear your thoughts!!!! *_* I have been itching to read more posts about it but also trying to avoid spoilers rbdbdbjf

I just started nona yesterday, I finished harrow few days ago but god that one fucked with me good I needed a bit to just let everything that happened sink in. like ITS SO GOOD it’s so much darker than the first book and I still don’t have the words to express how much I genuinely enjoyed the second one it’s literally so fucking great. I was almost tempted to reread harrow after I finished it but I wanted to read all three before any rereads lol but the attachment I have to these characters is insane I just fucking cling to them so badly I am so unwell. love gideon, my best friend gideon I miss her sm…

SQUEEEEEEEEEE IM SO HAPPY YOU LIKED HARROW!!! its such a phenomenal book its so. um. Harrowing. lol. im going to have a really hard time articulating just all of the Shit That I Think About with this book series because there really really is so much.

getting right into the meat of my thoughts i guess. i really love how Gideon's bit with Ianthe at the end of HtN recontextualizes the bit of the pool scene where Harrow talks about the first time she saw The Body. where it really does feel like in that moment Gideon simultaneously realized that she was in love with Harrowhark and that Harrow would never feel the same. And i think it allows you to glean some of the genuinely a little bit selfish motivation behind Gideon's suicide. There were a lot of things that motivated Gideon to kill herself so Harrow and Camilla could live, but i think a significant portion of it was her not wanting to live a life indebted to Harrow in a way she would never be content with (Connecting mostly to Harrow asking her to return to the ninth house and care for it ((and by extension, The Body)) in her stead, in the event of her death), which is to say in the grand scheme of things, the choice between Living for Harrow and Dying for Harrow was a very easy one to make for Gideon Nav.

I dont have as much analysis for this but god i think all the fucking time. About Gideon the First attacking Harrow in the bathroom. and the subsequent Everything. It's just so fucking. Bleak. Reading it is physically exhausting. It's so. oh my god. I don't even know what to say. Fucking "Harrow, do something normal." I'm Going To Kill Myself. Im Going To Kill John Gaius. The fact that she KILLS him and it doesnt even KEEP. THE FUCKING. THIS. HARROWWWWW

HARROWHARK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE NORMAL IN MY LIFE AFTER IVE READ THIS

I do love John. as much as i hate him i love him as well. He's such a fucking coward. such a worthless piece of shit. such a suffocatingly interesting character. I love when Harrow tries to ask him about Alecto and he goes on about fucking "You'd make a hell of a daughter, Harrowhark. I sometimes indulge in the wish that you'd been mine." LITERALLY FUCKING WHAT. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOTU WHERE AM I.what if you had a crush on a girl but you had an even bigger crush on her dad's dead ex-girlfriend and then her dad told you that he wished you were his daughter. i feel so fucking abnormal

EDITING THIS POST BECAUSE I FORGOT I WANTED TO TALK ABOUT WAKE. WHAT THE FUCK RIGHT???????????????? god i think forever about how much Gideon Nav loved her mother. how much she clung to the belief that she was loved. Has Gideon Nav ever been knowingly loved by anyone, in her life? Maybe Aiglemene loved her, in a way. But Gideon wouldn't have known that until it was far too late to treasure it. Harrow certainly loves her, but Gideon can't believe that. Not with The Body in the way. Not with Harrow, to Gideon, seeming so disgusted with her final act of devotion that she destroyed her own mind to be rid of the knowledge of it. Magnus treated her kindly, but kind is a far cry from love. But she loved her mother. Held the belief so desperately-yet-gently close to her chest, that her mother loved her too. Loved her enough to come crashing and burning through the Ninth planet's atmosphere and dying herself on the way down. Loved her enough to protect her life at the expense of her own. Imagine, then, for Gideon to learn that she was a tool. A key. Her destiny in life was to die within the first days of her birth; a blood sacrifice, as her mother willed it. Her mother hadn't brought her to the Ninth House in an attempt to save her, she'd brought her there on her way to kill her. Its So. God. Fuck this fucking book. Has Gideon ever been loved? Every truly been loved by anyone in this world? If she has, she doesn't know it.

#ask #there's so much more i could get into. i think so much about ianthe shes such a slimy bitch i love her to pieces #i kind of want her. girl can you emotionally manipulate me into having sex with you next ^_^<-JOKE #im so excited for you to get deeper into nona. for like the whole last third of the book i felt like i was going to start pulling hair out #<-GOOD THING

5 notes · View notes