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BNHA CHARACTER BIO ANALYSIS MASTER POST

This was originally supposed to be the second thing on the list of things for me to write but thinking about it, the other thing would take longer to finish. Since my other analysis was meant to be an analysis to help design your OC physically, this entire analysis is here to help flesh out your OC mentally.

You see character bios a lot in anime and manga. The variety of a character’s likes and dislikes are meant to tell us something interesting about the characters. Horikoshi utilizes his bios to explain the character’s mental states: to explain something about the character’s design, personality, quirks, and roles in the story. The bios aren’t for fun facts, but to learn more about the mentality of the characters.

I am going to analyze BNHA’s characters’ bios to help you get a better idea of how to write your bio for your OC.

Alright, let’s get started.

Name and Age:

The details of real names and ages are at that spot on the top right corner of the page. The age is located on the right next to the name of the character. A hero's true real name and age are revealed on this very spot with the real name below the hero name.

That’s the location you need to know when you’re doing an OC bio for name and age.

Birthday:

One thing I noticed when I looked at the character birthdays is that It references their quirk and overall design.

For example, Manami's birthday is on February 14th referencing her quirk “love,” since Valentine’s Day is a day of love. Gentle’s birthday is August 29, a reference to Michael Jackson, who was born on this date and sung “Smooth Criminal,” a song which is a reference to Gentle’s role and quirk. While it may seem to be reaching, Horikoshi often uses pop culture references in his work.

Additionally, Horikoshi uses Japanese wordplay, or Goroawase. Goroawase uses Japanese words that can be read with several different meanings, and pronunciation associated with a series of letters, numbers, or symbols.

For example, let’s look at Seiji Shishikura’s birthday, February 9th. When split it goes like this: 2 = Ni 9 = Ku In Japanese, 29 can be read as “niku” meaning “meat.” On the 29th of every month, restaurants and groceries give special offers on a discount on meat. This is all a clever reference to Seiji’s quirk: “meatball.”

Another example is Fat Gum. His birthday is August 8th, or when initiated, 8/8. When spoken, it sounds like the word “ate” which is related to his character always being seen eating food. The two circles inside 8 look like a silhouette of a heavy person, noting Fat Gum’s design.

Also, Rumi’s early March birthday is a reference to the march hare in Alice in Wonderland, which correlates to her rabbit motif.

There’s also Kigo used in character birthdays, Kigo are words and phrases associated with a particular season. An example of Kigo is Tsuyu, whose birthday is around February. In Kigo, frogs are associated with February through May, and are known for their loud singing during that time of year. Hence, Tsuyu’s entire frog-themed motif in her design.

Another example of the use of Kigo is with Mineta and his birthday, October 8th. The Kigo associated with Autumn are grapes (fruit that is typically harvested in autumn). This part correlates to Mineta, whose character design is shaped around grapes.

Another I want to point out is Mirio’s birthday. He has the same birthday as Izuku’s: July 15th. This may seem like a coincidence, but if you look closely it isn’t. Mirio’s birthday reinforces that he is Izuku’s foil, with them bearing the same background dealing with a troublesome quirk and working towards being a hero despite problems with their quirks. In the story, Mirio was supposed to be the successor of All Might and was originally meant to inherit OFA instead of Izuku. There’s a clever use of this foiling to the main character in Mirio and Izuku sharing a birthday.

This is interesting to add when you're working on your OC’s birthdays.

Star Sign:

Next up: what if a birthdate doesn’t have a Kigo, Goroawase, or national holiday associated with it? Well, you can just use star signs to tell an OC’s personality.

As I explained in the Dabi bio, his Star sign matches his personality, and Himiko’s Zodiac references both her cat-like features and her personality. Horikoshi knew what he was doing when writing his characters. He assigned the zodiacs deliberately.

I will help you in choosing a star sign for your character by analyzing these characters and elaborating on these star signs below.

Izuku Midoriya: Izuku’s star sign is a Cancer, Like Cancers, Izuku is a kind and caring person that doesn’t hesitate to help those in need, with this being his natural trademark.

Izuku is a very emotional person. His actions are fueled by his own emotions in any given situation; this is seen in how he said “my body moved before I thought” when he jumped in to save Bakugo from the sludge villain, and Uraraka from the giant robot in the exams, and trying to take action in saving Eri when he confronts Overhaul. One of the hilarious things to note is his trademark in that he overreacts in any given situation and displays a variety of exaggerated emotions to the point of being oversensitive.

Izuku is intuitive to the feelings of others and is highly empathetic to the pain and suffering of other people. Cancers are natural nurturers, as seen in how he is very supportive of his friends and prone to motivate them and boost their confidence. For example, he attempts to try to help Todoroki overcome his emotional issues in the sports tournament and to save Uraraka in the entrance exams. Izuku doesn't stop until he makes sure that the people around him are happy and safe. However, this also causes him to endanger himself and his well being to help other people.

Izuku’s dream of being the world's greatest hero sounds vague since it is not clearly defined, but it is a very emotional goal. Izuku loves heroes. It's no secret. He keeps track of them in a notebook analysis that he carries around. He loves learning about heroes’ history and quirk he even a large fanboy of All Might since he has all his collectibles and his room is decorated with merchandise. Cancers are known to be stubbornly fixated on something, which fits Izuku.

Much like Cancers, who love home life, Izuku loves being around the comfort of his hero action merchandise in his room as well as happy and content when surrounded by the presence of heroes.

Izuku enjoys being in good company such as his friends and family. Izuku scores are high in cooperation as his stats in the databook show, which fits with traits of cancers such as being dependable and being a good team leader. He’s a good team player working together with his classmates in helping them to fully utilize their quirks to their fullest potential. He’s observant and intelligent as well as adaptable, being able to grasp the machinists to quirks and notice the ins and outs to someone’s quirk to use them to his advantage.

Cancers tend to daydream, which goes with Izuku. He’s a dreamer who dreams to be a hero and is known to be a little too in his own head, as Cancers often are. Izuku can be a little too self-absorbed to notice what’s going on around him; this manifests in his muttering habit when he gets lost in his track thoughts to know what’s going on around him. This is seen when Izuku loses himself in fighting Shigaraki and loses a feral side when he faces strong dangerous villains.

Izuku’s sentimental side is referenced again in his star sign since Cancers are soft creatures underneath their shell: they can get easily hurt by the slightest criticism. Despite Izuku’s newfound confidence within himself in the series, he still suffers from a lack of self-worth. Much of his insecurities stem from his initial quirklessness, that he feels useless with no quirk and that he can’t be a hero. He’s so internalized that he can’t be a hero without a strong quirk that even after he was given one by All Might he doesn’t believe that he’s worthy of wielding the quirk. Izuku feels the need to get stronger, to not make mistakes, to prove to someone that he isn’t useless. He wants to feel needed by others when he feels that he didn’t meet their expectations. It crushes him. This line of thinking causes him to be very reckless to the point he neglects his well being. As Bakugo points out, he doesn’t take himself into account which is seen in his battle with Shigaraki.

Izuku is timid and quiet but one of his most notable strengths is that he never gives up. Like Cancers who are tenacious and possess strong perseverance, Izuku’s determination is one of the greatest strengths of his character. Izuku's bravery, courage, determination, and kindness make up his heroic qualities.

Katsuki Bakugo: Bakugo’s star sign is an Aries. You could argue that Bakugo is a Taurus because he was born on a cusp but closer inspection a lot of Aries traits match Bakugo. Aries is a fire sign, which is seen in his personality. Bakugo harbors both the positive and negative traits of Aries.

Like the traits of Aries, Bakugou’s confident, passionate, impatient, and short-tempered. Bakugos prefers to do things his way; he hates being told what to do by other people and be pushed around. Bakugo is competitive and will put everything he has to win striving for a perfect victory. Bakugo won’t settle for just winning: he's very thorough and wants the task to be 100 percent complete. Bakugo is hardworking and serious in wanting to be the top hero; he's ambitious in surpassing All Might.

Bakugo is impetuous; in a fight he charges forward to victory without a single thought. Bakugos is competitive in everything, whether in training or arguments he always will fight to have the last word. Bakugo is obsessed with perfectionism and expects everything to be perfect if he isn’t looking for the perfect victory. Bakugo doesn’t like accepting help, and has trouble doing so and can be argumentative. Bakugo’s constantly pointing out the faults in other people around himself comes from wanting to be seen as the strongest, but manifests as him demanding things from others and bossing them around.

Bakugo is intelligent. He was ranked the highest in class for his written exams good at coming up with strategies in battles. Bakugo is straightforward, something you wouldn’t suspect from him but he hates any form of deceit and won’t resort to any low means to win. He's perceptive and hates liars and gets angry when he perceives someone is lying to them.

Bakugo can be petty but this is large can be at fault for his perfectionism and competitiveness which is the source of all his problems. Bakugo had trouble managing his feelings; he never knew how to deal with his anger, so he came out in explosive outbursts. He vents his anger at Izuku because of his perceived notion of weakness Izuku emits and the need to feel better to not let that weakness come over him. He wants to be strong and doesn’t want to show weakness in front of others. Bakugo’s pride prevents him from doing so. When he isn’t on top of everything it causes him great distress and cannot take the stress and pressure; you best see this exemplified when he breaks down to Izuku over All Might’s retirement.

After his battle with Izuku, Bakugo gets better. He comes to accept his mistakes and becomes a little more aware of his shortcomings. When he puts his good qualities to use he’s a great leader you see this when he leads his group in the sports festival and the joint training arc showcasing his leadership qualities. Bakugo is now willing to work together with others as long as it guarantees victory. He may be a humongous jerk but has great character development.

Shoto Todoroki and Ochaco Uraraka: Shoto and Ochaco are both born under the star sign Capricorn. They share many similarities.

Todoroki has all the cold traits relating to the Capricorn.

Shoto is hardworking in his hero studies and very serious when it comes to training it could be said that he’s the more serious and focused out of all of class 1-A. Todoroki’s the most cool-headed out of class 1-Al when it comes to a crisis he still retains a cool head often calm in parlous situations. Shoto’s reserved qualities border on airheadedness, or even slow on the uptake, like him correctly deducing Izuku’s connection to All Might only to fall short when he asked if he was his love child. Yet Todoroki is smart, being scored 5th in the midterms. He’s a high achiever and he's good at keeping everything on top when it comes to everything such as school work and training.

Todoroki is distant with his peers but in contrast to the loner image, he socializes when he partakes in group activities with his classmates but more as a wallflower.

Capricorns are often unforgiving, which fits this with Todoroki who is a serious grudge holder. He’s spiteful towards his father for what he’s done to his mother whom he abused to the point of having a mental breakdown. Todoroki is willing to hold a grudge against those he cares about; this aspect of his shows just how loyal he is to his loved ones.

Todoroki is very doubtful in himself; he tends to criticize himself so much that he feels he is not enough. He harbors doubts about becoming his father and is traumatized by the abuse. Todoroki has a lot of inner demons because of the abuse of his father he uses an exterior as a defense mechanism to defend against them only makes things worse for himself this is apparent in his interaction with Inasa.

So, that’s Todoroki. How is Ochaco similar to a Capricorn? On the surface, it may not seem that Ochaco embodies the traits typical to Capricorns, but if you take an in-depth analysis of her character it turns out she has more in common with the Capricorns than we thought. Ochaco is devoted to her studies and loyal to her family and friends, She has a steel grit and incredible determination. She is willing to do anything to achieve her goal. This side of her personality, her great determination, and stubbornness are shown at the sports festival in her match with Katsuki. The Capricorn matches Ochaco more serious, determined traits. Ochaco is practical: she’s aware of her limits and she takes an internship in combat training from Gunhead to increase her mobility.

Both Ochaco and Shoto are strongly resolute in their desire to become heroes. Both of them show these sides at the sports festival.

Another thing two that they have in common is that they both don’t hesitate to say what’s on their mind there, honest in their own opinions which can be off-putting to some people. This can stem from the aspects in Capricorns to be realistic, to throw cold hard facts in others’ faces. For example, during the hideout arc, Ochaco points out that Bakugo would find it disgraceful to be saved by Izuku, showing that she has an understanding in their relationship Todoroki notes that their actions in wanting to rescue Katsuki are very selfish since it wouldn’t be accepted by Bakugo or anyone else. This aspect references both of them being real.

Capricorns are family-oriented signs. They are loyal to their own family and willing to do anything for them. This trait says a lot to do with both Todoroki and Ochaco in the way their motives in becoming heroes came from them. Todoroki’s desire to be a hero was inspired by an All Might interview he watched with his mother when he was young, Ochaco’s motives to be a hero was to get her parents out of poverty to have an easy life. Both of them are loyal to the people they love.

Capricorns have two sides of them they won’t show until you befriend them. This holds for both Ochaco and Shoto, Ochaco doesn’t tell her classmates about her family situation; only her close friends Izuku and Iida know about it. Izuku is the only one who knows Todoroki’s family situation. Todoroki only told Izuku his abusive family background by choice because he felt a strange familiarity from him other than his connection to All Might.

The Capricorns have two sides that both contradict and work side by side: the goat’s torso and fishtail. Ochaco and Todoroki poses two sides of their personality Ochaco who is energetic and a huge chatterbox yet can be serious and determined when she sets her mind on her goal. On the outside, Todoroki came off as cold and unemotional but deep down he’s passionate and driven, his cold exterior masks his much warmer gentler traits that were close off in the abuse. Todoroki’s quirk “half hot and half cold” may have been inspired by his star sign. Thanks to their friendship in Izuku, Todoroki opens up his more warm traits and Ochaco with her serious and more practical traits.

Both Ochaco and Todoroki are greatly reliable and trustworthy friends as seen in the way in their friendship with Izuku. Ochaco is kind and supportive of Izuku giving positive encouragement to a derogatory name Deku; Shoto worries about Izuku being the only one to sense what was wrong when Izuku was in trouble. They both care about Izuku and rush in to help him when he’s in danger. Todoroki rushed in time to save Ida and Izuku from Stain, and Ochaco latches onto Izuku when his quirk goes out of control, while she calls out to Shinso. Both Todoroki and Ochaco were inspired by izuku by bringing out the best in them in their friendship. Because of their friendship with Izuku, they brought out the more positive traits they kept hidden.

Height:

For character heights, they can be whatever you want it to be. When comparing the heights of the characters look at other animes for reference and look up height to tell what is short and tall a tip for advice when measuring the height of a character is line them up with the other characters.

Heights call back to the motifs in character design, for example, Tsuyu is 150 cm, Mirko 159 cm, and Mineta 108 cm with rabbits, frogs, grapes in their design the common thing about them is that Frogs, grapes, and rabbits are all relatively small.

Favorite Things:

The most important thing about the bio is the Favorite things about the character. Do you want to write a BNHA Oc Bio? That’s what you need to look at when writing one. In character bios, the person's likes and dislikes say something about the character’s mentality This is no different for BNHA likes.

Horikoshi uses the likes to explain something about the personality, quirk, and role of the character in the story. Unlike how the birthday says something about the design of the character, the likes are used to describe the character’s mentality saying something about the character and quirk. This couldn’t be any more true for the main characters.

(It’s perfectly okay to put your personal preferences in the likes if you want to do that’s fine too.)

What do the characters like have to say about them you may ask? Well, I am going to explain.

Izuku Midoriya:

Let’s start with Izuku, the main character of the series. His favorite thing is listed as katsudon.

Katsudon is made with deep-fried pork, rice, and some other ingredients, and it’s a popular dish in Japan. There’s a common tradition for students to have to eat katsudon the night before a major test or school exam. It's good luck to do well on the test and eating katsudon is supposed to make them victorious when passing the test. The reason why they believe that is because when the kanji of katsudon is split apart it contains the kanji “katsu” which means “to win” and is a homophone of the verb “katsu” meaning “to win” or “to be victorious”.

One other thing about Katsudon is how it ties into Izuku’s relationship to Katsuki Katsudon shares the same kanji as Katsuki and is both related to winning and victory like with Katsuki when it comes to the perfect victory. Katsudon referenced Izuku’s admiration towards Katsuki since to him, Katsuki is the symbol of victory someone he admired for always does whatever it takes to win no matter what which is one of the reasons he looked up to him despite how Katsuki treated Izuku in their relationship.

Izuku’s personality is referenced in this gag, In Japanese police films where suspects, when interrogated, will speak the truth with tears in their eyes while they eat katsudon when asked: “did you ever think how your mother feels about this?” This part in the gag reminds of Izuku’s constant waterworks he sheds plenty of times in the manga and relates to his anxious expression and how he always looked nervous like a suspect being under interrogation in which the gag notes.

The line, “did you ever think how your mother feels about this?” notes Izuku’s relationship with his mother for whom he cares about and shares a close relationship with. The line reminds us of how much Izuku cares about his mother and feels guilty for constantly making her worry when he injures himself when using OFA.

I believe what it means for Izuku to like what it says about his character itself. Izuku is slowly learning to get stronger and win throughout the series and that every small moment in the series is his victory of getting closer to becoming the greatest hero.

Katsuki Bakugo:

Next is Bakugo’s favorite things, spicy food, and mountain climbing.

Spicy food is a reference to Bakugo’s indigestible character and unpleasant personality as well as his quirk explosion being all hot and spicy.

Japanese people believe that preferences in food say a lot about a person’s personality. They say that people who like spicy food are supposed to be short-tempered, daring, and competitive. That isn’t much of a surprise since it matches Bakougo’s short-tempered and competitive character but what was surprising was finding out mountain climbing was listed down in his likes.

In Japanese symbolism, mountains are sacred places between heaven and earth. The birds flying over the mountains symbolize overcoming life challenges. This is seen in Bakugo on how he likes to overcome difficult obstacles and does whatever it takes to win until he overcomes his challenge.

Ochaco Uraraka:

For Ochaco her favorite things are Japanese cuisine and starry skies,

Although Japanese cuisine sounded confusing when I narrowed down, I found out that Ochaco likes mochi. Mochi is a traditional Japanese food made from rice cakes and ice cream. Mochi, when used as a term, is there to describe someone who is soft round, and cute like Ochaco herself with her entire round motif. As well as used to say one has round cheeks referring to Ochaco’s round blushy cheeks in her design. A fact on Japanese foodstuffs is that people who like sweets are considered sweet people, being kind, relaxed, easy to get along with what she is.

Eating mochi on the first day of a new year provides warmth and nourishment and imparts strength, endurance, and good health for the cold winter ahead. Noted at their first meeting as being like a breath of fresh hair to the nervous Izuku, she goes on to empower Izuku by changing a derogatory nickname Deku from something that he hated into something positive. Ochaco’s entire character serves as refreshing to the people around her.

Mochi being eaten is a prayer for health and good fortune: good health signifies her upbeat chatterbox personality as someone who is always in good health.Mochi is eaten all year round and is very affordable.

Mochi symbolized material and financial wellbeing. People eat this food boosting their economic vitality. References to Ochaco’s poor financial background, the symbolism in mochi has a lot to do with family and Ochaco’s motives in wanting to be a hero (to get her parents out of poverty).

There's a legend in the Bungooku Fudoki that there was once a wealthy family who used their rice cakes as archery targets instead of eating them. This is a wasteful and disrespectful act that laid the family fields bare and fell into financial ruin. The legend references Ochaco being adamant in wasting money and being stingy in spending money not wanting to be wastefully seen in the legend notes Ochaco and her frugal lifestyle.

There’s a new year event called Mochizuki. Mochizuki is a traditional event that is held on 25-27 of December a reference to Ochaco’s birthday being held on the 27th of December. Mochi is used in the word Mochizuki which means full moon in Japanese the moon largely references her quirk zero gravity since the moon relates to space. This is called Mochizuki because of the round shape calling back to her entire design, the round motif.

Ochaco’s second favorite thing is starry skies, starry skies refer to space references her quirk zero gravity with it relating to space.

Shoto Todoroki:

Now on to Shoto, his favorite things are Soba.

Soba being a Japanese food also correlates to Shoto’s oriental design. Soba is a Japanese food that can be eaten in both hot and cold, which refers to his quirk (half hot and half cold). Shoto preferring to eat his soba cold is an important detail heavily applying to how he favors using his ice side over his fireside in combat.

According to Japanese foodstuff, people who like soba are considered cool in appearance and personality-wise. Soba gives the impression that people who choose soba are more determined and cool as well as uncompromising and determined. This matches with Shoto’s entire character.

All Might: I wanted to talk about one thing I noticed in All Might’s likes on his favorites things that are listed,

It may not seem to mean something about him all that much on the surface but when I researched I found that it has a deep meaning in both All Might’s entire character and role.

Cedars are large trees that grow up to 100 feet tall and live over 300 years. In Yakushima the great cedar tree is estimated to be 200 to 7200 years old, the oldest tree in Japan. This fact alludes to All Might’s unknown age and incredible height.

Japanese ciders are extremely important in ancient Japanese as a source of building material. In Japanese culture, cedars are used for building materials used in building floors and pillars in traditional architecture because cedars grow straight with a certain hardness used for building industrial products. This refers to All Mights status as the symbol of peace that upholds society, putting people at ease with his calming smile to inspire others to be safe and hopeful. All Might be a symbol of peace that keeps society stable with his presence.

Sugi or Japanese Cedars is a national tree of Japan and prized for its fragrant wood in Japanese culture. This could note All Might, who grew up in Japan despite his American influences, is Japan’s most popular hero.

In Japanese mythology, cedars are the closest to Japanese gods since these trees are planted around shrines and temples and grow straight to the sky showing their connection to the Japanese gods. This notes All Might’s god-like powers from his quirk and idol worship of others of hero society. All Might is god-like and inspired people’s unattainable goal to surpass him in strength, which is impossible since he is close to a god.

Japanese symbolism for cedars is grandeur, majestic and strength and “I live for you.” This symbolism has a lot to do with All Might in character: grandeur and majestic both note the immense charisma that he radiates in his dramatic flair and his giant smile which inspires others to feel safe. Strength in the cedar symbolism is related to him being the world’s strongest hero and immense strength of his quirk in being the number one hero of BNHA.

Lastly, the cedar symbolism “I live for you” calls back to his character, how All Might being told of his prophesied death by Nighteye accepts this until Izuku comes along pushed to live. Inko requests him to live for Izuku since he needs him not as a hero but as a mentor. In a way, all these means is that All Might is living for Izuku like the symbolism states.

Supplement and Behind the Scenes:

These are thoughts about the characters on the bio frankly they can be whatever you want to add the titles supplement and behind the scenes are different from each other in the way that they are used in bios.

Supplement are facts about a character’s background and details on their personality history that hasn’t been covered in the main story. Horikoshi adds tidbits of info and facts about the character in his suppliants whenever he was going to clarify something to the audience.

Behind the scenes are talking about the design and concept of the characters in BNHA. Horikoshi interviews about his inspiration when he’s creating characters and his thoughts that he implanted on their designs.

Its usual called behind the scenes in bios but the title can change depending on the character your bio is referring to much like this,

The title can be whatever you like it to be when writing for your OC.

Ultra Archive Extra Details:

Blood types:

You might be confused about this and ask why are Blood types important? Well in Japan they look at blood types the same way we look at Zodiacs: they can tell a person’s personality. You see this is used many times with anime and manga in the character profiles where the character’s blood types are displayed. The BNHA characters have their blood type displayed in the datebook of the characters. You don’t have to add this to your character’s bio; this is only there to be a fun fact insight on their personality. I will talk about how the blood types go with the characters in personality.

Izuku and Shouto are both blood type O. O is the average and best blood type. A character with this blood type is considered deeply determined and easy going. Izuku is much like the O in his blood type being generous, pleasant, kind, and optimistic. He is very peaceful as he tries to pacify arguments in his friend group. He’s easy to get along with and is very intuitive when it comes to the feelings of other people. He looks out for others and rushes in to save them.

Shouto and Izuku show deep determination in wanting to become heroes. They both take care of others and are cautious and careful. Shoto is logical and always looks at the big picture like Izuku he thinks before he acts. Like the O blood type, Todoroki and Izuku embody leader-like qualities in their groups.

However, Todoroki embodies the much more negative aspects associated with O, such as being spiteful and ruthless especially concerning his father. Shoto refuses to use his fireside out of spite when he focused on rejecting his father; it causes him to ignore the feelings of the people around him. You see this ruthless side of him when he freezes villains from the USJ he is doing for interrogation. Todoroki is ill-mannered and rude seen in his comments on others. Todoroki tends to be a loner rarely if ever interacting when he does he comes off as very quiet. Shoto can be a bit of a workaholic when it comes to training and studies. Izuku and Shouto are both insecure and doubtful about themselves with the feeling that they can never be good enough due to their problems. Izuku can be self-absorbed manifesting in his muttering habit and Todoroki be a little too into himself and not realizing other people’s suggestions until it is pointed out.

Both Izuku and Todoroki have O blood; however what makes them different is their star signs, Izuku with the nurturing and sensitive Cancer and Todoroki with the cold serious yet caring Capricorn.

Ochaco’s blood type is B. She has a lot of positive traits of B: Ochaco is cheerful, outgoing, optimistic, and can be strong and passionate about the stuff she holds dear. She’s practical and open, not pretentious, and pragmatic; she's very frank in vocalizing her opinions and always wears her heart on her sleeve. Ochaco is insightful picking up on Bakugo and Izuku’s relationship and good at reading signals others give off. Ochaco provides support to the people she cares about, goal-oriented, and determined she will do whatever it takes to reach a goal no matter what. That is a reference to her goal of getting her parents out of poverty. This makes her hardworking and determined and strong to reach that goal to provide for her parents. all these matches Ochaco perfectly.

People who possess A blood type are honor student types. Iida and Momo are textbook examples of people with blood type A: both of them are presidents of their class. Iida proved to be trustworthy in leading the class and being a good friend. He is honest, serious, he can be too honest at times he can be uptight when it comes to inconsistencies with Mineta or keeping the class in line. Iida is well organized. You can see this in his room how everything is lined up. Iida is a stickler to the rules; he won’t tolerate anyone who breaks them. Iida wants to be the ideal hero like his brother who inspired him to be one Iida wants to be the perfect ideal of a hero. Iida wanting to be a perfect idea of the hero he idolizes causes him to be selfish. You see this in the entrance exams and when he went after Stain, neglecting to rescue a hero both times neglect to rescue the people around him and charged straight ahead with his desires. Luckily Iida admits when he’s in the wrong and is willing to improve.

Blood type is known to be the perfectionist of the blood group; this is seen very well with both Iida and Momo. Momos being a perfectionist is seen when she sees the inconsistencies of her classmates in the battle trail; she does this because she wants her classmates to improve. She only can excel in thinking and careful planning not on one battle after she lost to Tokoyami in the sports festival she became insecure about her abilities and compares herself critically with Todoroki.

When you look at Bakugo you wouldn’t think of an A automatically. However, taking a deep analysis of his character reveals that it matched him in more ways than you think. There’s no chill with Bakugo: he's a huge ball of nerves. He’s always yelling in explosive outbursts. But while he may seem impulsive, he’s hard-working and wants to make sure that everything is perfect. Bakugo is obsessed with cleanliness and wouldn’t tolerate the single dirt. In contrast to his attitude with his peers, he keeps to the rules and is well behaved in front of authority figures

Bakugo’s fastidiousness with being the best can be very stubborn with what he wants and easily frustrated when things don’t go his way. He’s a perfectionist after all so he has ridiculously high standards. He wants everything to be perfect that comes down to the perfect victory that is seen best in the victory in the sports festival. Bakugo can be nagging when he points out their inconsistencies in other people he honest to the point of rudeness makes him inconsiderate of other people

Like blood type As, Bakugo is terrible at dealing with his emotions and can’t bottle up his stress Bakugo was in deep turmoil on All Might’s retirement and has insecurities if he’s not being strong enough his insecurity when it comes to his weakness causes him to bully Izuku.

You may be wondering if Iida and Bakugo both have A-type blood, then why are they different? As I said before with Izuku and Shoto it’s because of the star sign.

One last thing if you can struggle to understand the blood types and they appear too similar look at B and O, B might seem similar to O but if you look more closely B comes off as more individualistic and hardworking towards a goal and will do anything to achieve it and O are much more group-oriented and self-absorbed. As are fussy about appearances need to be on top and in order due to their perfectionist tendencies.

Though you don’t half add this it’s here to help you gain a better understanding of blood types and how they are used in Japanese culture. When you're doing blood types for your OC look up which blood types and find one that better matches your OC.

Place Of Origin:

Place of origins that are listed in the character’s data book its where the characters live, Izuku, Todoroki, and Bakugo all live in the Shizuoka Prefecture since they are the ones that had their origins in the series.

The place of Origins has something to do with characters like Ochaco for example, She has a Kansai dialect she grew up in the Mie prefecture which is located within the Kansai region of Japan where this dialect is frequently used. Kansai dialect is stereotyped as passionate and honest which matches Ochaco’s personality because she displays these traits. Mie Prefecture is known for its break taking scenery and clear starry skies nothing Ochaco’s presence is refreshing and calming to others around her and her quirk zero gravity.

Mirko grew up in Hiroshima where most of her fighting style is influenced by Filippino foot fighting. Hiroshima is a city that experienced firsthand the horrors of war but decided to pick themselves up and become the city of peace. Hiroshima has many peace-themed monuments created by international organizations called “mayors for peace” which reach out across the globe to bring the world peace. This is similar to how Mirko's hero works on who she travels endlessly across her country in hopes of bringing peace to the world as well when defeating villains and coming to the aid in the town she’s in to see news of breaking out. She’s a rabbit fighting for peace.

I am not an expert on Japan geography and state this is just what I found out when I was researching. Like the blood types you don’t have to add this If you want to add a place of origin for your OC; do your research on the Japanese geography.

Rooms:

As the saying goes, a room says a lot about a person. You can tell a lot about someone just by looking at their room. Since it would say a lot about someone’s personality. Personal and distinctive details the dorm rooms illustrate are the visible reflection of a character’s identity. Horikoshi took creative liberties to his character’s personality and identity just by drawing their rooms.

Izuku’s room is very self explainable, the wave of All Might collectibles in his room tells that Izuku always idolized All Might when he was young. He's the reason he wanted to be a hero. He centered his whole life revolving around All Might. The collectibles show the aspects of his character.

Ochaco’s room reflects her frugal lifestyle and that she came from a poor household.

The constellation chart is about her Zero Gravity quirk. The cactus in the small area symbolizes endurance and determination, one of her personality traits’ tea and mochi because she is a great host and because her name came from tea and her love of mochi!

Todoroki’s room is a traditional style Japanese room. He’s been raised in a traditional Japanese household and despite the abuse that Shoto has been through he simply can’t get comfortable living in a place unlike home. His room and upbringing references his Japanese character design.

This is less of a writing thing but more of a designing concept when you’re doing with the character’s rooms. Mostly this a design thing to show the character’s personality. This was only here for people to know how to design a room your OC would sleep in but you don’t have to do the entire room thing for your OC.

Just take a blank room for reference then work your way around it.

Villain Bios:

At first, when I thought about villains not getting bios I was relieved because I wouldn’t have to spend so much time and energy working on them. But when vol 23 rolled around, they started to get bios.

Horikoshi once stated in the complaint corner that there supposed to be terrifying in that were not supposed to relate to them in any way. The main reason he didn’t give them bios was that we wouldn’t relate to them and humanize with the villains as people. Villains are not supposed to be sympathetic.

It’s refreshing to know that there aren’t any big changes to villain bios and they aren’t any different from the other characters’ bio. If you want to do a bio for your villain one look at the directions again I already addressed with the characters bios look over the directions I said previously. This might help you whenever you do a villain bio.

Examples:

Here are examples of how I utilize this for my OCs, Hozuki Kizuki, and Keiko Uchihara. Their likes to reflect their motifs and overall character designs

Hozuki’s birthdays fall on February 2nd. Her birthday’s initials are 02/02, a katakanization of the English numbers. “o” from “0” written with the kanji “○ ” and the Japanese for two is ni together can be read as “Oni” repeated twice correlating her Oni motif.

Her birthday is a reference to Setsubun an event held on February 2nd through 3rd in which people wear masks and have others throw sow beans at them to drive out misfortune and evil to bring good luck. This is a reference to Hozuki’s role as someone who chases after villains to keep others safe from evil.

Also, her birthdate makes her an Aquarius, which showcases her standoffish and independent personality.

For her likes, they are list as roasted soybeans, baseball, Oni related items

For Soybeans I explained already up above with Setsubun. For baseball, when I look at the players holding bats it resembles clubs that Oni use in Japanese folklore.

Keiko’s birthdate is September 25th which is a cusp, meaning she has two zodiac signs in her birthdate. She is both the logical and pragmatic Virgo and fair and honest Libra. This matches kitsunes’ benevolent and malevolent natures in mythology.

Keiko’s favorite things are Rice, sake, kitsune udon, and inarizushi roll. Sake is a wine that is made ground up from rice. Both sake and rice are a reference to Inari the goddess of foxes, rice, sake, and agriculture. Another called back to the god Inari is inarizushi,a pouch of fried tofu typically filled with sushi rice. It is believed that the fox messages of Inari have a fondness for tofu as the Inarizushi has pointed corners that resemble foxes’ ears. Kitsune udon or fox udon is topped with aburaage and is similar to inarizushi.

All this in her bio goes with her fox motif in her design the Japanese mythology for fox references Keiko traditional Japanese character design.

For blood types, Hozuki is a blood type B and Keiko is a blood type O It is said that people with B blood possess a unique character. Hozuki’s standoffish personality comes to mind when I read this. Hozuki is unapproachable at first glance due to her curt attitude but she’s acutely easy to talk to when you get to know her. Hozuki is practical and serious and has an objective that she is working towards. She is passionate and driven. She would stop at nothing until she reaches her goal. B highlights her serious individualistic traits.

Keiko is friendly and open. She reaches out with kindness and unconditional acceptance. She is empathetic to the plight and suffering of others. Her blood type notes her personality which has many of these traits associated with Os.

Epilogue:

This is what you do when you are writing your OC bios. I hope it at least gives you a better understanding of writing bios for your OCs. I am not an expert when I explain their likes. I did research when writing this post so If I missed anything feels free to add I am open to people’s suggestions. I don’t take any credit for the images I used in this post, all credit goes to the original owners of the chosen said images.

Lastly, have fun writing about your OCs!

References:

METI ON THE BAD GUY Class 1-A Dorm Rooms EXPLORED | My Hero Academia Discussion

#bnha spoilers #bnha oc #boku no hero oc #boku nohero academia oc #my hero academia oc #oc masterpost #masterpost #izuku midoriya #katsuki bakugo #ochaco uraraka #shoto todoroki #Thank you Hamliet~

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hs-devote · 4 years

Text

7. H O U R G L A S S

Moodboard // Content // Masterlist

Disclaimer:

All characters and situation in this story are fictitious. Resemblance to any person living or dead is only God knows.

Previous chapter :

“I'm close, H! I'm close.”

“Cum with me, baby. Cum with me.”

Y/N cried out when she releases, arching her back made her breast went up in the air. Harry moaned when he spurted his load inside her, filling up her warm cunt. Yet they were riding out their high together, Harry's length still hard and stiff inside her. He rested his forehead against her, giving her small peck on the swollen lips. Harry collapsed next to her, Y/N snuggled to him – hugging his body. They were silent for a moment, letting their lungs gasping for oxygen.

7. HOURGLASS

Her eyes fluttered open, looking at the empty side next to her. She sat up right away, averted her gaze around to find Harry. Y/N wrapped the comforter around her naked body before lowering her feet to the floor. She smiled seeing at small note latched on the nightstand.

I'm on the kitchen if you wake up and find this note. You can wear my shirt if you want to. I hung it in the closet. H x

She put down the paper. When she was about to go to his closet, she was shocked to see how messy his room was. The sheet was sprawled open, her panties were thrown away from the bed whilst her bra was nowhere to be found. The cushions was laying far in the corner. Were they that wild last night?

No, last night was nothing wild. They didn’t damage the bed nor the linen. She was pretty sure Harry could go wild anytime more than last night if he wanted. Her stomach growled from hunger, the sound made her laugh. She had to get out and meet Harry in the kitchen once she finished dress up.

Her legs were a bit sore when she walked, yet she brushed it off. This wasn't her first time wandering around his massive walk-in closet, she remembered the first time she was in there, her jaw hung open due to the large and luxurious his closet. That day, Harry asked her to get his tie. She got confused since there were so many drawers and wardrobes he had. Well, she would laugh if she remembered that.

Y/N instantly spotted his plain white shirt which was too big for her. Nonetheless, she still wore it. She liked it more than her own shirt since she didn't keep her baggy shirts here.

She did keep spare her clothes in Harry’s wardrobe. Of course, it was Harry idea. Y/N often spent her free time at Harry’s house, and most of them ended with her stayed a night or two. He thought that it would be better if his girlfriend kept some spare clothes.

Screw the bra. There were a few of them in the top drawer but I want freedom this morning.

Y/N didn’t want to snoop around, but seeing Harry's clothes hung neatly was such a sight for herself. Her nose smelt Harry's familiar perfume around the closet – made her want to stay a little bit longer.

Her boyfriend was such a neat freak. Harry arranged his clothes according to the brands, the purpose, and colour. He had two wardrobes dedicated to his favourite designer. Yves Saint Laurent and Gucci. He really loved those two brands, and had a good relationship with their designers. It wasn’t a surprise there was plenty of custom outfit from them that Y/N had never seen before.

Then, her eyes caught a shabby leather journal laid on top of his tie drawer, written an H 1994 in front of it with a picture a child embedded. That must be Harry.

Her curiosity about Harry's childhood pictures made her grabbed the journal. Y/N giggled over his photograph; little Harry was so cute with his brown hair. In the picture he wore a blue shirt underneath the cream coloured overalls, his smile was so big showing his bunny teeth. Sitting at the velvet chair, she opened the journal – hoping to find his childhood pictures. But all she found was writings. At first, she wanted to return it back, but the dates were written made her curious. All of them.

January 11th 2003 I didn't know where is my fault. They keep to hate me

January 15th 2003 Friends are horrible

This wasn’t a photo book. This was his childhood diary. She shouldn’t have opened Harry’s diary, surely it was a secret.

There was no way photo album is in a journal, you stupid girl! Her inner goddess scowled.

Her mind told her to return the journal to its previous place, but her inquisitiveness was too high. She gathered her determination before continuing to read.

February 1st 2003 My birthday and no one knows, except mum

February 9th 2003 Everyone hates me

March 12th 2013 Why he hates me and mum so much?

March 29th 2013 He hurt mum

April 3rd 2013 He hurt me

May 1st 2013 I don't like him

August 18th 2013 Football is nice

August 25th 2013 They love my football

September 1st 2013 Dale was awful. I was crying. Everyone was laughing. Mum was sad.

September 12th 2003 Who was the abusive one? Dale? Father?

September 13th 2003 He kicked me

September 14th 2003 He punched my tummy. It's hurts

September 20th 2003 Dale hit me everywhere. But why I couldn't feel it?

October 1st 2003 That feels nice

October 9th 2003 I can't feel my face

October 25th 2003 Poor little pigeon

November 6th 2003 He's stronger than ever

December 1st 2003 What happened?

Y/N closed the journal harshly, too many conclusions was spinning in her brain. The more she thinking about it, the more theories that emerge. Y/N couldn't just draw a conclusion, her brain urged her to ask Harry about that, but her heart holding it back. She didn’t want herself to fall deeper into his confide, she had to stop before curiosity killed her. With various questions raging inside her head, Y/N returned the journal to its original place and immediately went out to meet her boyfriend.

She could see Harry was cooking from the way he held a pan. His upper body bare due to lack of clothes, his fern tattoos visible due to sweatpants hanging low in his hips. Her eyes went down to his happy trail, reminded her of how good he pounded into her last night. Just imagined it made her shudder.

Y/N smiled of how focused he was when he made breakfast, forehead wrinkled while his tip tongue was sticking out. She was busy adoring him with her body leaned to the door frame. Felt like someone was watching him, Harry averted his gaze. He found his girlfriend watched him with a smile on her face, standing cutely in his shirt that way too baggy for her –exposing her delicate legs. Harry was sure she only wore underwear beneath since the shirt fell on her thighs and she was wearing no pants. Harry saw her semi hard nipples through the fabric. He shook his head instantly, if he glanced at it longer than intended, he might have Y/N as his breakfast.

“Good morning, love. I'm making pancake, should be ready in ten minutes. Do you want anything else?” He asked while flipping the pan.

“Pancake is good.” She hummed, walking towards him. “Be careful, we don't want the pancake to fall, do we?”

“Don't underestimate my ability, baby. Go take a seat, and sit there beautifully.”

Y/N shrugged, pulling a seat near her. A moment after, Harry turned off the stove and put the pancake on her plate. She gave him a quick thanks then laughing when she realised her pancake had a shape of a bear's head. She took a quick glance of Harry's plate, finding one with a shape of frog's head.

“What do you want to put on top of it? I have… berries, honey, maple syrup, powdered sugar, err... jam?” Harry asked with his head dug into his massive fridge.

“Berries will be fine.”

Harry pulled out his head with a bowl of berries and a maple syrup in each hand. His foot closed the fridge door. Y/N thanked him for the berries. She looked at Harry who was pouring maple syrup to his pancake and slice the banana on top of it.

“I didn't know you have this cute pancake mould.” She giggled, “This is too cute to eat! I can't even bear to cut it.”

“I found them when I was opening the top drawer. I forgot that I had it because I never used it.” He shrugged, cutting the pancakes. But, her shrieking made him jump and dropping the knife.

“What's wrong?” He asked while taking the knife, put it on the end and took a new one.

“You destroyed the frog's face!” Y/N gasped then laughing softly. Harry stunned in his seat, then looking at his frog pancake which has been split in two.

“Don't shock me like that, baby. Just eat them. I can make more if you want to keep it as a collection.” He laughed, scooping a piece into his mouth.

“This is delicious but I can't stop thinking about a bear head inside my mouth.” Y/N spoke while chewing her pancakes. Harry just shook his head over the silliness of his girlfriend.

They ate in silence, only the sound of the television and soft noises of cutlery clashing with plates were audible. Their attention was directed on the TV that was broadcasting the graphic of company shares in U.K. Y/N was stunned when she saw Machtig's stock chart that went quite far, almost balance with Erskine at the moment. Both of them are in the top five. She looked at Harry who seems unbothered.

“Polygram did that.” Is all he said, nothing more, like answering the look from Y/N. “It's common in the business world.” He added. Then her mind rolling to a few days back, when Harry told her something about Dale bullied him. And, his writings on that journal about him that made her sad.

“Harry, darling.”

Harry smirked at the way Y/N called him with pet names. He knew very well that his lover wanted to ask something that possible worrying her, because that was starting to become her habit.

“Go on, love.”

“I remember the day when you told me that Dale Jespersen was bullying you when you were a child. Is that... is that true?” She asked softly, “I understand if you don't want to talk about it.”

Harry just stared at her, his face was flat with no emotion. She didn’t know if this is a good or bad sign. She cursed her foolishness deep inside her heart when Harry said nothing.

“Dale Jespersen was my school friend when we went to same primary school in Birmingham – before I moved to Manchester. I used to be the nerd one in my class.” He said, “I never really come play with them. Since one thing I knew that time was... I have to get good grades so my mum would be happy. Apparently, some kids think otherwise. He and his friends always said I was arrogant. Until one day, I thought it was never hurt to try... play with them. I began to open up, sparing my time to play football after school ended – before coming home, even though it just a quick play.”

Y/N silently heard Harry's explanation, want nothing than be a good listener. Harry paused for a while before continuing. His head, which had been looking down, slowly looked her up. His eyes became dull, seemed like he just told her something sad.

“It's okay if you don't want to go forward, darling. I don't have to know the whole story if you feel uncomfortable.” She said with concern. Her hand stretching out to rub his hand. But he just shook his head, ready to continue.

“I became an idol in the field because I could show them my skills in football. He didn't like his attention was taken by me. He made up a story that I beat my mum because according to him, he saw my mother was crying in our yard when he passed by. I confront him, and long story short, he made me his punching bag.”

Y/N gasped, her palm covering her mouth in disbelief. “You didn't do that, did you?”

Harry chuckled, “Who do you believe? Me or him?”

“Of course, i believe you, Harry. I just... didn't expect something like that.” She murmured, “But you're okay now, no grudges yeah?”

Harry leaned back, looking at her with a subtle smirk on his lips. Laughing silently at how clueless this girl in front of him. If only she knew.

Y/N didn't realise that the person who had been talking about Dale's cruelty, have different eyes to someone who made her breakfast this morning. Little did she know, every single word that came out from his mouth, the eyes getting darker than usual.

. . . .

Harry only could curl up, hugging his knees every time his back received a whipped from someone who should protect him. His mother was out, so clearly he couldn't ask anyone for help. He really wanted to cry, but he couldn't. If he cried, the whipped would get stronger.

“You fucking little bullshit!”

Deep inside his heart, he prayed his mother come home soon.

God listened to his prayer when he heard the front door being open. He immediately ran to his bedroom upstairs when the whipped stopped. Harry was breathing rapidly, he must quick search a safe spot in his room. Although he wasn't sure that would protect him well. He locked the door, moving his whatever in his room that he thought was heavy enough to hold the door.

He looked at himself in the mirror, slowly lifted up his shirt. He whimpered when he saw the scar on his back, still fresh and red. He blinked his eyes to let the tears rolling down his cheek. Harry wanted to tell his mother, but he didn't have any bravery.

How could a father do that to a nine year old child?

Harry didn't understand.

Sunday morning was supposedly being fun because you could have quality time with your family. Apparently not for Harry. He woke up when he heard her mother screaming, his feet quickly take him downstair to only find his father was grabbing his mother hair until her head tilted. She looked in pain, his knuckles grip tightly to her roots. Harry was frozen in the stairs, eyes widened to a sight in front of him.

Whatever would happen, he must help his mother.

Then, he ran and yelled. Kicking his father in the legs, made the older man stumbled a bit. Harry hurried to his mother, asking if she was okay, and hug her. But, the father didn't like it. He grabbed Harry's collar and dragging him to the floor. His breath choked up when he felt the father's hand circling around his neck, putting pressure in it.

Her mother was screaming in tears, watching her husband strangled her son. She tried to let go of him, but he shoved her back and slapped her head.

She must be able to protect her child, and herself. Ignoring the burning sensation on her face, she pulled her husband and took him out of the house.

“You fucking whore! Your little bastard must be taught a lesson!”

She crinkled her face when the scent of alcohol and cigarettes wafted from his mouth. “Get out! Don't come to me and my son again!”

The father looked at her and the small boy next to her in disgust. He spitted to the asphalt and went away. Harry was silent, but not with his mother. He could hear her sad cry. The only thing he could do now is; hug her. As he did now. Didn't care if they look pathetic in their front yard.

Two weeks was nice without his father. He didn't come home, and Harry prayed he wouldn't be. Until the nightmare paid them a visit as his father show up in their door, looking for his mother. The pathetic man was asking for some money to his wife. But of course she wouldn't give him. She was struggling enough to work and get a nice pay job, how the hell she gave him money from her hard work for free?

Everything went fast. Harry defended his mother, but end up his father beating him up in their yard. His mother was laying unconscious in the living room due to punched she got. Harry accepted every hit, every jab, every punch. He wanted to fight. But he didn't want his mother to be next his target if he did that. He could only surrender.

What could a small child like him do? He didn't know.

Every kick, every smack, every pain. He absorbed well. Until he only could feel anger, hate, hurt. No, he wouldn't let this pathetic old man beat him again. Not him. Not his mother. He smiled through the pain. No, he couldn't feel the pain. He didn't feel any pain. He felt numb. It was like a tickle to him. He rose, holding his father's hands.

How came?

He endured effortlessly. The last thing he remembers was, he gave the man in front of him – who was confused, a flat smile before pinning his father's hand to the opposite direction. A small crack made him screaming in pain, but made Harry smile in satisfied.

Harry felt strange, his father still tried to make his mother and his life miserable. Yes, he was abusive. But a few days back, he only threw things when he mad, didn't do anything physically. He should have be relieved a little, but his little head had some questions.

Harry didn't know why his mother did not leave him already. If they were hurt, why they should stay?

Once abusive, would still abusive.

His father was acting up again. Harry was in his room, doing his homework when his father broke down his door and rummaged the room – like was looking for something.

“Where is it?” Voice hoarse, hands opening every single drawer in the room.

“What are you looking for?” Harry asked.

“You should be keeping some money from Anne, right? Where?”

“I won't tell you. I need them to buy some books.”

Hearing what his son just said, it did something in him. He didn't like the answer. Then, he stomped to Harry, pulling his shirt. Harry was scared, his body trembled so badly.

“I need them more than you! Fuck that stupid books, I want the money!”

Harry shook his head, his mother was working her ass off to be able to provide what he needs. An education, for a better future. There was no way he would give up the money for his father's unnecessary wants. He cried in pain when his father hit his head, throwing him to the corner, and kick his legs. Over and over again.

In the blink of an eye, his father was shocked when he felt pain in his head. He looked at Harry in disbelief, his palm felt wet – and realise it was blood dripping from his back head. Harry in front of him was panting hard, his face was showing no emotion, with the hand gripping a brick. How come he had a brick in his bedroom?

Both of them heard a gasp from the door, finding Anne standing right there. Harry could see his father ran to her, and yelling about what he did to him.

“He hit my head with a brick! Your fucking son keep bricks in his room to attack me!”

Anne averted his gaze towards Harry, looking for evidence. “Is that true, Harry?” Her voice quivered. Harry shook his head, his expression was flat, no guilt at all. “No, I'm not holding anything in my hands. See?”

He stretched out his bare hand, no bricks were seen. His father yelled again, accused him of being a liar because he was sure that Harry hit him with bricks. Anne sighed and led her husband out. Leaving Harry alone. She didn't know who to believe. But clearly, Harry never lied to her.

Little did they know, Harry was laughing right after them both gone. His eyes glanced at the corner of his bed, where the brick was laid.

After that accident, his parents never talk about it. Either Anne did believe him, or his father really thought he was hallucinating. Harry really didn't care.

Christmas was only a few days. When other families worked together to decorate their house, it wasn't for Harry. His father's drunken face was somewhere they didn't know, only Harry and his mother were ecstatic about the eve. His favourite moment was when its snows in the morning and at night. If people sometimes complain about the thickness of the snow, Harry liked it instead. He liked that white – soft thing.

He ran outside when realising the snow was showering that morning, his thick clothes protected him from the cold weather outside. He sat on the snow in his yard, looking at the empty streets. Then, he saw a white pigeon sheltering under a tree from the snow. It was alone, without a friend. Harry barely recognised it if only he wasn't under a tree, its colour was almost like snow.

Without him knowing, his feet brought him close to it. He squatted in front of the pigeon, and strangely the bird was not afraid. It let itself be lifted by Harry, feeling the warmth from the hands of the human who was holding it.

“Why are you alone? Where's your family?” Harry hummed, stroking its feathers. “You must feel sad because you're alone.. in this cold morning.”

Harry kept stroking its feathers, patted the small head. “You're with no family, are you?”

Then, his hand stopped – but still holding the pigeon, as aware of something. He lifted the pigeon so its parallel with his eyes. “You better be with your other friends and family up there, not here. In here.. is cruel. Too cruel for small things like you.”

Harry didn't remember anything until his flustered face looking at the pigeon in horror. It was laying stiff with blood almost covering its small body. The blood staining the white feathers. He gasped when he found a bloody knife not far from his feet. Both of his hands also were covered by the pigeon's blood.

What did he do?

His heart was racing, hands trembling, tears were falling down to his face. He was so scared.

Harry could hear his mother screaming from his behind. He glanced back, saw his mother standing there with a shocked face, scared.. he couldn't even describe it. Then he saw the lifeless pigeon again in his hand. He did kill it.

. . . .

“See! Your fucking son is a murderer!”

Harry whimpered in the corner, his father was back and now having an argument with his mother. They didn't even have proper Christmas celebration since his father step his foot in the Christmas morning. He heard Anne confronted Harry about killing the poor pigeon. That was the worst morning for Harry, how could his mother bring it up in the Christmas morning!? They should gather around to open the presents instead of accusing him of something like... that.

“I was asking Harry, not you.”

“Now you believe me. Once, he hit me with brick. Second, he killed an animal. What's next? Burning this fucking house on fire?! This psychopath's little shit must be taken away before he harms others!”

Harry just shook his head, palms covering his ears. He didn't want to hear it.

No.

“How could you call your son a psychopath's?! He's just a child. He did know nothing!”

He couldn't take it anymore. He didn't want his Christmas turned into a nightmare. He got up, running to his room, slamming the door and locked it. He cried and cried. He didn't know why he killed the pigeon. The last thing he remembered was.. patting its head.

Christmas walked so the new year eve could come closer. He didn't have anything to celebrate. After the Christmas incident, his mother was keeping a distance from him and talked to him as needed. It broke his heart. Every night before he went sleep, he always wondering.. why his mother didn't believe him. Why he did that. Why God always makes him sad.

It was the morning after the new year, last night he spent the count down with sitting on the roof. Waiting for fireworks to appear in the night sky even he didn't like the sound of it. It was better than the sound of silence.

He bet his father was out last night, probably went to a local bar and downing for alcoholic drinks there. He didn't care. Yet, then he heard screaming from the kitchen, he saw her mother try to shove away from his father.

“Give me that money, Anne! I need them!”

“No! I don't have any. Go away!”

“You fucking liar!” He saw his father hit his mother with cutting board to her head. Harry scared, really scared. Didn't what to do. But, the time he saw blood dripping to her face, he felt anger burned into him. He ran to them, taking the vegetable knife from the counter and stab his father's arm.

His father was screaming in agony, while his mother stared at him with utter shock – still gripping her bloody head. Harry was standing there with a knife in his hand, watching his father grimacing in pain. His mother could see the flat emotion in Harry's face. No scared look. No anger look. Nothing.

Harry was locked up in his room after that. He didn't know what his parents would do with their bloody wounds. He did care about his mother, but no with his father. He just sleeps, waiting for whatever would happen tomorrow.

It felt like he had only slept for a few hours when he woke up forcefully, he was dragged from his bed by someone.

Who else was if it wasn't his father?

Harry tried to run away, but he felt weak because he cried all night in his sleep.

Where was his mother?

He was forced into the car, both of his hands were tied together. His body was held by the safety belt in the back seat. His eyes were covered with cloth, so he didn't know where he was going.

He felt the car stopped after one hour drive, he thought. He heard the door opened, following by harsh tug of the cloth covering his eyes. His father untied his hand and pulled his out from the car.

Harry was looking around. There were lots of little kids here, but where it is?

He really wanted to run away, but he didn't dare because he didn't want his mother to get hit again because of him. His priority now was his mother safety.

“His name is Harry. I found him was crying in front of his parents grave. So I think it's best to take him here, so someone can take care of him.”

His head lifted up, looking at his father in disbelief. What did he mean?

“Of course. Did you relate to him?”

“No, I was asking him if he has a family. But he's alone himself.”

The lady who was speaking with his father, crouching down to his level. She seemed nice, smiling at him. But his smile faltered when he heard those words that crashing down his life.

“Hi, I'm Elis. We will take good care of you. Don't worry, Harry. You will get a new family in this orphanage.”

. . . .

“What are you planning for Christmas?”

Last night, Abbie called Y/N if she could get breakfast together this morning since both of them wasn't so busy at the moment. Of course Y/N glad to hear that, it had been a while since she met her friend. Now here they were, having meals in the little breakfast cafe near the Battersea Square. Harry drove her here since she was staying at his house for the weekend.

“I'll go home as well as Harry. We'll spend the time with our own family before heading to Sorrento for New Year together.” Y/N answered before taking a sip of her hot chocolate. It was an early day in December, and London weather was getting colder every day. So, she needed something to warm her body.

“Italy? How nice! But I prefer to go there in Summer, you know? Warm sun, warm air..” Abbie squealed.

“Harry was the one who had the idea. It was more than enough for me. I can't complain anything to him.” She shrugged, “How about you?”

Abbie just laughed, “My mum wanted to come here, so I guess I'll spend Christmas and New Year in here.”

The rest of the time they just walked about the time together when they were at school, playing back memories that memorable for them. The clock was ticking at past eleven when they decided to go. Besides, Y/N really didn't want to lave Harry for too long. Abbie offered her a ride since she would be passing Lots Road, so she would dropping Y/N off there.

When Y/N arrived at Harry's penthouse, Suzanne was in the kitchen. She bid a quick hello to her before heading to Harry's bedroom. She let out a small shriek when her eyes found Harry sprawled out in his bed just in his briefs, laid out like a starfish.

“What are you doing?” Y/N giggled, crawling to his side. Harry tilted his head towards her, “I was running while you were meeting Abbie, now I'm exhausted.”

“Why you don't take a shower?” She asked, her finger brushing off his baby hair on his forehead. She gasped when Harry flipped her body so she was on top him, hands gripping her bum.

“I was waiting for you. Maybe we can take a shower together?” He wiggled his eyebrow. Y/N snuggled to him, smothering his neck with some kisses. “I already taking the shower. Now, take your ass to the shower. And wash the sticky sweats off your body.”

“Didn't you realise you get the sticky sweat from the way you plopped down on me, darling?”

Harry let out a humoured laugh when his girlfriend whined after she had just realised. He shoved her body away gently, and walking to his bathroom. “I will be happy to waiting for you under the shower.”

And after that, he vanished into the bathroom. Y/N then sat up, looking at her both arms that now wet from Harry's sweat. In fact, she didn't want to complain because his sweat smells good. And yeah, she should take another shower because how sticky her body from his sweat.

When she walked into the bathroom, Harry's naked figure clearly visible. Although the hot steam covered the glass wall, she could see Harry's standing under the shower with his back facing her. Y/N closed the door slowly, not making any noise. She stripped down her clothes until she's naked, and join him in the shower. The way her sneaking arms hugged his torso made Harry didn't flinch at all. Like he's already expecting it.

Y/N peppering kisses on his neck, shoulder, all around his back with her fingers rubbing his stomach. She gave him kitten licks to his earlobe before sucked it, made Harry whimpered. His hands pumping his length slowly. Y/N brushed her wet hair from her face, so it wouldn't block her eyes. She bit her boyfriend's shoulder to expect leaving marks on there. She loved to claim what she had.

Her hand went down to his V-line, before grabbing his length and help him to pump it while her other hand slid up and down his nipple in teasing way.

That's it. That's the last strike. Harry couldn't let her.

Y/N squealed when Harry flipped them both, pushing her body against the wall and grab her legs so they wrapped around him. She quickly put her hands around his neck. Luckily, her back was against the glass and Harry holding her bum, keeping her legs around his waist. If not, she could slip on the slippery tile. Both of them panting quickly, she could feel her hard nipple pressed onto his toned chest. Meanwhile, his length resting it limb between her thighs.

“Thought you would come, darling.” He whispered, booping her nose with his. “What was that behaviour?”

“I just want to help my boyfriend.” She shrugged, fingers curling his back hair. Since the shower was no longer right above their head, Y/N could see Harry clearly. His soaked wet face made her fantasy went wild. She gulped as Harry pressed down his length to her centre, rubbing his tip up and down.

“Do you feel that? This is what you've done, baby.” He mumbled in her ear, “Hard and ready, only for you.”

“Only for me?” Y/N asked for recognition, her fingertips digging to his shoulder. She looked down to find Harry's length was ready. Hard, erect on its glory. Harry nodded, licking her earlobe. “Only for my baby.”

She brought his head to her, so she could crashing her lips on his. It didn't take long for their tongues to wrestle with each other. The only sound they heard was their lips ravishing each other, even the sound of the shower only sounded faint to their ears. Their body was hot, burning in flame. The hot steam made everything getting more intense.

He ran his finger over her centre, only found her sticky wetness. Harry smirked, his ego was getting high.

“You're so wet, bet it taste sweet too.” He mumbled in her lips.

Harry detached his lips from her, so he could suck her nipple while the other one being rubbed and pinched by his finger. His grip was strong enough to keep her only in one his arm. Y/N felt her centre aching, shaking... need someone to take care of it. Her moan was Harry favourite sound in the world, nothing else. She whimpered, arching her back when Harry blew air to her hard and stiffened nipples – making her grip on his hair tightened.

Without her knowing, Harry pushed his index finger inside her centre. Rolling out slowly, yet slammed hard into her. His index fingers curled up inside of her, with his middle finger joined afterwards.

“Oh, Harry. Oh!”

Harry groaned, moving his fingers in and out faster. He smashed his lips again to her, to muffled her loud moan. He could feel his length getting harder than before. His girl was trembling under his touch. He kissed her cheek before pulled his fingers out. But, her pleasure still going strong.

“Harry..”

“Not finish, baby.”

She cried when Harry teased her, rubbing her entrance with his tip. Her legs shook terribly. She wanted him so bad.

“Harry, please... please I can't– ”

“Please what, baby?” He hummed on her neck, leaving marks on his favourite spots.

Every whimper, every moans...

Harry left his marks on her neck, throat, shoulder, chest, breast...

“Beg for me, and I'll give you what you want.”

“I need you, please. I need you inside of me, right now, baby.”

“Uh-huh, you forget something.” He shook his head, smirking.

“I need you to fuck me, ravish me, do whatever your heart desire.” She whined.

“Oh, fuck!”

Y/N choked when Harry slid in his length in only one move. Sometimes it surprised her; the way her body quickly adjusted to his size inside of her, he was huge and thick, it was never enough for her to feel him. Harry paused for a moment before moving his precious length.

“Tell me if you want to stop.” He hissed, placing his forehead on her with hands gripping her bum.

“Move, H.”

Her words always being his command. It was what always Harry said to her.

He slowly rolled in and out, palms still gripping her bum. They both moaned wildly. Y/N clutched Harry's shoulder while he dropped his head to hers. She cried every time Harry was pulling out then slammed into her, pushed his length deeper as he could.

Y/N felt she was getting close, her full cunt trembled from the way Harry rolled his length. She squinted her eyes, breath panting wildly.

“I'm close, H. Oh my god.. Oh!”

“You wanna cum? Cum for me, baby. Cum on me, please.”

Harry still rocking wildly into her, meanwhile, the girl in front of him was shuddering. From the way Y/N arched her back, he knew she was about to come. In just a few seconds, he felt she came on him. He could feel her wetness smeared on his length.

“Harry...”

He groaned, hearing her soft yet exhausted voice whispering into his ear. His brows furrowed, mouth parting. He shut his eyes closed, feeling himself getting close. Y/N cried out of the how fast he rocked her, the way he slammed back and forth made her wanted to pass out anytime. Before Harry got the chance, he slid out of her on time – seeing his thick cum squirted from his tip all over her and him. Slowly, he lowered Y/N legs, quickly support her body because he knew how weak her legs were.

“Thank you, baby.” He smiled, kissing her cheek. “That was amazing.”

“It was.. better than the one we had in the bathtub.” She sighed, “My back was sore due to clashing down the bathtub tile.”

“So, looks like bathtub sex is the last on the list?” Harry just laughing, “C'mon, let's clean our body.”

“I can't even stand properly, H.” Y/N pouted, hand still on his shoulder. Harry looked down her trembling legs, “All right, just hold onto me.”

. .

Please excuse some errors.

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valentinepills · 3 years

Text

The Timeline

A year ago in March 2020, I was newly returning back to work after recovering from a severe skin infection. I was on painkillers and several rounds of antibiotics throughout January and February 2020. It was a hard time recovering and for a second there, I thought I was going to die. My blood sugar was through the roof, inflammation and infection were forming a lethal combination. Emergency doctor was grateful I came in when I did because if I had waited any longer I would have lost the battle. My vitals and condition were so unstable that the surgeon did not feel safe operating on me. I had to heal with medicine, quarantine and bed rest.

That took a hard hit to my finances. Behind in rent and bills. In late November in to December 2019 I was just out of work for 2 weeks with an unexplained condition with my lungs. My lungs were inflamed, I had a dry cough but no fluid being brought up. I had terrible night sweats and difficulty breathing. I was given antibiotics, anti-inflammatory medicine and steroids in addition to my daily inhaler and Ventolin inhaler for emergencies. So that's a timeline for ya.

NOV - DEC 2019 Lung Problems

JAN - FEB 2020 Skin Infection

FEB - MAR 2020 Return to Work

MAR 16, 2020 The World Shuts Down.

April comes and I'm hopeful. I begin cutting back on smoking cigarettes. I wasn't a heavy smoker to begin with, but I was definitely smoking 10-15 cigarettes on a bad day; 8-10 on a regular day. I remember saying to Martina and DJ,

"When I take my last puff, that's all it will be. I won't remember the day. I won't say to anyone that I've quit because they will remember. It'll be all they talk about but I don't want to hear any of it. Talking about smoking all the time doesn't help me."

Sometime in late May I took my last puff of a cigarette. I no longer desired to smoke and no longer craved the taste. I told no one and I have successfully overcome my addiction to cigarettes. I enjoyed a quiet birthday on May 29th and was hopeful that Summer would bring some more joy!

Start of Summer in to July 2020... Becoming pregnant should have been a happy occasion for an engaged couple. It wasn't for us. When I learned I was pregnant, my body was in distress. I didn't know what was happening, but my body was in pain. Everyday it got a little bit worse. At this point I had been cigarette free for about 2 months and I had no cycle for 2 months. Extreme Sciatica and Arthritis pain crippled me and suddenly I began seeing spots of blood. I was rushed to the emergency room and learned that I was 14 weeks pregnant. I was ordered to bed rest and limit my movement. We were thrilled but terrified. DJ's hours were cut, but I was working from home. We exhausted our funds to make bed rest as comfortable as possible. Mid July comes and at 16.5 weeks of pregnancy, I miscarried. My sac ripped. I was in so much pain. DJ's heart broke and my heart crumbled. I was looking at a 4 to 6 week recovery but in fact, it took 8 weeks for my body to return to normal. That's a timeline for ya.

APR - MAY 2020 Transition from Moderate to Non Smoker.

JUN - JUL 2020 Becomes Ill, Learns Shes Pregnant!

MID JULY 2020 Suffers Miscarriage

JULY - AUG 2020 Recovery from Miscarriage

SEP 2020 - DEC 2020 I'm recovered and preparing for the next obstacle in my way. My father became ill and was hospitalized. No one could visit him, but suddenly one day, they allowed my mother to go to his room. Nearly two weeks later, my mother tested positive for COVID-19. She battled that for weeks and while all of that was going on Martina had a health scare too in September. Things were going crazy everywhere. As we battled through Autumn, I dealt with my hearing becoming significantly worse. Wisdom Tooth, Jaw Joint and Ear Pain-Infection-Inflammation. Trying to visit a doctor in person was a struggle. I kept being denied an in-person appointment because of my symptoms. I call with symptoms, they make me do a test, I test negative but they would make me quarantine for 14 days and then I call again to make an in-person appointment because my symptoms have worsened... the cycle repeats. I ended up being rushed to the emergency room because I had chills, shakes, sweats and I couldn't hold my head up anymore. 14 days of antibiotics and drops. Finally got some relief.

JANUARY 2021 - CURRENT I was done with 2020. I didn't think things could get any worse until January 30th. My best friend unexpectedly died. Martina and I talked so much about our lives, our goals and our hardships. I always thought that because of my many illnesses that I would leave here first. She hated when we got on that subject but we talked about it in depth many times throughout our friendship. After the miscarriage, I told her I wasn't sure if I would ever become a mother. When Martina passed away after talking with our mutual mentor, confidant and former co-worker Mrs. McCreary, it occurred to me that my life may have an entirely different purpose than how I may have envisioned it to be.

I've spend these days and nights in mourning. The day Martina died, I wasn't aware that she had passed on that day but when I woke in the morning, I felt heavy and full of sorrow. I said to DJ, "Something is wrong but I don't know what it is. I feel it all in my body." At that time, I had no idea my friend had departed but my spirit knew. I spent that entire day focusing on improving what I thought was a mood. I woke up earlier than usual on Monday, preparing to log in for work. I wanted to talk to Martina but I learned she had died. Suddenly everything I felt that Saturday and Sunday made sense.

I talk to Martina out loud every morning, every day now. I know she can't respond but I believe that she can hear me. She always believed in me, even when I didn't believe in myself. The future brings more sorrow for me but also more clarity. Everyday I'm attuning to my goals. I know that I want to live for as long as possible. I want to be available and able; for me, for DJ and for all of our loved ones including Martina. Her children meant the world to her and if any one of them ever needed me for anything... I want to be available and able to be there for them.

I have a timeline for my future but I'm going to take my time, not waste time.

#sad #sad thoughts #depression #grieving #miscarriage #womenshealth #mental health #ripbestfriend #friendship #infection #quitting smoking #cigarettes

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museaway · 4 years

Text

Back in college, I remember one of my writing professors talking about our overall themes: not the theme of any particular story, but the ones present across a body of work. She said something like, “you don’t choose your theme; your theme will choose you,” which at the time sounded profound and mysterious and a lot bullshit, but I was twenty and respected this professor for her brutal honesty and good advice, so I filed it away even though I was doubtful.

For years, I would try to look for hints of it emerging, combing my own stuff for signs. I settled on a few possibilities. Faith showed up a lot when I was early 20s. Not surprisingly, so did struggles with sexuality. As a consumer of stuff, I latched onto any character struggling to find their place in the world. I‌ wrote about love. I wrote about death. I wrote stuff so sickeningly sweet, I cringe thinking about it. I wrote god-awful depressing stuff and stuff that was just god awful. I‌ lost confidence that I could write anything good. I‌ put my notebooks away. I deleted my files and decided I’d focus on work. I stopped writing completely for two years.

I‌ crawled out of that bad place a few years ago. Until this year, I was still crawling out. Getting back into writing was a struggle at first. I’d forgotten how to put words together. I‌ didn’t know how to get the concepts out of my head and onto the page in a way that wasn’t clumsy. I‌ wrote endlessly that first year and again became obsessed with theme, wondering if mine was ever going to show up.

That year closed. Another few went by. Eventually, I stopped trying to pinpoint it. I‌ studied a new religion, studied a new language, read a lot of manga, consumed massive amounts of media, made new friends, focused on better relationships, and wrote anything I wanted. The words started to come out the way I wanted. The things I wanted to say, I could. I wrote things that were a mix of sad and sweet. My style emerged.

Just a bit ago, one of those nebulous themes sat up and tapped me on the shoulder.

“Hi,” it said. “You’re obsessed with identity. Have you noticed it shows up in everything you write?”

After I finished being surprised, I thought about it. In the last few years, I’ve written about…

A character in an alternate reality of his world who falls in love with the alternate version of the person he’d once loved, while struggling to keep them separate.

A man who believes he’s lost his memories forging a new relationship with the person he thinks is his husband, while trying to recover the last decade of his life.

A creature’s lifelong struggle between wanting to love and kill.

A person battling societal expectations and attraction to a close friend.

A man who has given up a promising career as a lawyer and is trying to find purpose in life again.

A man who cannot handle losing his brother and lives in the delusion of him being alive.

A reincarnated teenager whose memories from a past life are returned, and how he reconciles having lived two completely different lives.

An artist who can’t find his subject and has stopped painting.

A swimmer who grows so close to his rival through shared dreams, he worries his feelings have stripped his ability to compete against him.

A pilot whose license has been revoked, trying to accept he won’t be able to fly anymore.

A man born on February 29th having a drunken out-of-place moment on his birthday.

A man who realized he married the wrong person and has become someone he doesn’t recognize.

A clone with memories of the human he was cloned from, refusing to give up the identity he believes is his, and pursuing the man who loves the human.

An engineer who became disillusioned with the organization he’d worked for and is trying to regain his passion.

A man whose memory has been reset and may never return, afraid he’s no longer the person he was and never can be.

“Do you get it now?”‌ said the theme.

“Ohhhh,” I said. “So that’s what she meant.”

Apologies to my professor for thinking you might be full of it. It just took a couple decades.

#my writing tag #idk how to tag this #personal #I guess #:-P

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into-control · 4 years

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Hi, guys 👋. To make things less confusing, I'll sign my asks off with a 🕊️ emoji from now on.

Below are most of the hints that I've sent so far so that you can see which ones were from me. (I may have missed a couple out as it was difficult to find them all again.) I also included any explanations of hints that I've given so far.

———

— A tip: I don't think that this has been announced anywhere yet, but Camila will be appearing as a musical guest on "Michael McIntyre's Big Show". — (I know this wasn't a hint, but I'll include it in here anyway. I sent this in because I thought it made sense to start off with something more direct and clear first to gain some kind of credibility.)

— (I also sent in another ask after this with the date that Camila's episode of "Michael McIntyre's Big Show" was most likely be aired. I can't find the ask now... Again, it was more of a direct statement than a hint. The 👍 in that ask was a minor hint for something though. I'll explain after the episode airs.)

— Something's coming very soon 📝. E 22 ... 26

EXTRA INFO:

— Quick clarification on this hint: After I sent in this ask, I sent in another ask separately that said "III". Looking back on it, the "III" should have been included at the end of the above ask as it's very relevant for one of the events that this was a hint for. (It's a double hint that refers to 2 different events, but the "E", the numbers, and the "III" mean slightly different things for each of the 2 events. The first one is happening soon.)

— 242 ➡️ 296 ➡️ 1511 ➡️ 2511

EXPLANATION:

— I can finally explain what this hint was referring to now. I saw that some of you guys guessed correctly that these numbers were dates. February 24th — (Living Proof was first mentioned in a tweet) ➡️ June 29th — (Camila posted a clip of Living Proof on her story) ➡️ November 15th — (Living Proof was released) ➡️ November 24th — (Camila's AMAs performance of Living Proof, and the release date of the Living Proof music video)

I hope I didn't confuse anyone with the slight mistake I made. (Typing "2511" instead of "2411"). I checked the dates of the first 3 events in that hint, but I didn't double-check the date of the AMAs as I was (mistakenly) confident that the upcoming Sunday was the *25th* November...

— "I want someone with a slow hand, I want a lover with an effortless touch" 💭 🔎

EXPLANATION:

— I guess I can explain one of my hints earlier than I expected! (I was expecting Camila's song choice for the Michael McIntyre show to be kept a surprise until closer to the episode's air date.) Ok, so I sent in this ask: "I want someone with a slow hand, I want a lover with an effortless touch". It was meant as a response to an anon who said they were wondering what song was chosen for Camila's performance, and whether it might be Liar or Living Proof.

The original lyric is "I want a lover with an *easy* touch", but I changed it to "I want a lover with an *effortless* touch". I was trying to draw attention to the fact that I replaced the word "easy". That was intended to be the main clue towards the song choice. I also chose that particular lyric because I think it ties in well with another lyric from Easy: "Touch me till I find myself in a feeling, tell me with your hands that you're never leaving".

After I sent in another ask saying that I'd explain in a few weeks, and I said something like, "I think it's pretty *easy* to figure out", which was supposed to be another subtle hint towards the song choice. Curious to know whether any of you guys figured it out? :)

— "Fool them once…"

— "Preventative measure is better than curative measure."

— (I answered a question about whether it's true that there's a song named "Tequila" on the album, and about what my favorite unreleased tracks from Romance are.)

— (I sent in a submission that I asked people not to reblog.)

— (I sent in an ask about how I'm going to be extremely busy in December, so I might not be able to come back and give any new hints.)

UPDATE:

— Long story short, a major decision was made which means I now only have two important deadlines to meet by late December instead of the original four I was given. So, although I'll still be busy, I should have enough time to drop in here once or twice a week throughout December.

— Endings often tie back to beginnings 1️⃣

— "Have you ever had a dream so heartbreakingly beautiful that it felt like agony to stay awake? I went to sleep, thinking about you, and I woke up just the same."

— In this world of lies, Truth is forced to fly like a scared white doe in the woodlands; **and only by cunning glimpses will she reveal herself**, as in Shakespeare and other masters of the great Art of Telling the Truth, **even though it be covertly, and by snatches** — Herman Melville.

———

— NOTE: I know that some of these hints may seem like random quotes, but every quote I've sent has been carefully chosen for a specific reason, e.g., for particular word choices in them.

The emojis I use almost always have specific meanings behind them too, and are a part of the hints.

Again, I would really appreciate it if nobody reblogged this!! (I'd rather keep everything on this blog instead of risking it ending up on Twitter or Instagram or certain other types of Tumblr blogs.)

#dove #submission

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novitafm · 4 years

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* 𝓈𝒽𝒶𝓃𝑒 𝒹𝒶𝓌𝓈𝑜𝓃 𝓋𝒸 * 𝖍𝖊𝖞 𝖜𝖍𝖆𝖙’𝖘 𝖚𝖕 𝖚 𝖌𝖚𝖞𝖘 ! i’m late to the party but i was tryna be ~aesthetic~ & get my tags nice ! which is kinda . . . lame but oh well ! i’m ready to plot up in this bitch ! i just love the concept of this plot , like i’m the biggest reality tv show hoe ! i’m lit binging too hot to handle rn cause how can u not ? anywayth , this here is my baby love novita aka nova ur rags to riches storyline ! i want all the plots i can get & if u wanna plot smash that lil 🖤 button ! i can hit u up on tumblr ims . . . but in all honesty tumblr ims suck so hit ya girl up on dickcord @ 𝑑𝑜𝑛'𝑡 𝑏𝑒 𝖘𝖚𝖘𝖕𝖎𝖈𝖎𝖔𝖚𝖘#4904 that way i can constantly annoy u !

there’s 𝔫𝔬𝔳𝔦𝔱𝔞 𝔰𝔢𝔯𝔯𝔞𝔫𝔬 ! though on their socials they go by @supernova . i heard she is originally from 𝒑𝒍𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒐𝒏 𝒎𝒐𝒃𝒊𝒍𝒆 𝒉𝒐𝒎𝒆 𝒑𝒂𝒓𝒌 , 𝒇𝒍𝒐𝒓𝒊𝒅𝒂 , but made the big move to los angeles to join TWENTIES . you haven’t heard about it ? well , apparently their dream is to 𝒂𝒄𝒕 𝒊𝒏 𝒂 𝒎𝒐𝒗𝒊𝒆 𝒅𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒄𝒕𝒆𝒅 𝒃𝒚 𝒒𝒖𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏 𝒕𝒂𝒓𝒂𝒏𝒕𝒊𝒏𝒐 , but they have no chance unless they quit being so 𝔢𝔤𝔬𝔱𝔦𝔰𝔱𝔦𝔠 & 𝔰𝔶𝔟𝔞𝔯𝔦𝔱𝔦𝔠 . that said , those behind the scenes have said they can be 𝔣𝔢𝔯𝔳𝔢𝔫𝔱 & 𝔡𝔯𝔦𝔳𝔢𝔫 too . guess we’ll have to watch and find out ! ━ & pink highlighted scripts scattered on the kitchen table , lacy lingerie peeking out of clothing & love letters tucked away in a hat box on a closet shelf .

TW : drugs

* ･. ∘ 𝒔𝒕𝒂𝒕𝒊𝒔𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 . ◞

𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢 › novita grace serrano 𝔫𝔦𝔠𝔨𝔫𝔞𝔪𝔢 › nova , novs & serrano 𝔞𝔤𝔢 › twenty one years old 𝔡𝔞𝔱𝔢 𝔬𝔣 𝔟𝔦𝔯𝔱𝔥 › february 29th , 1999 𝔷𝔬𝔡𝔦𝔞𝔠 𝔰𝔦𝔤𝔫 › aquarius sun , moon & rising 𝔠𝔲𝔯𝔯𝔢𝔫𝔱 𝔯𝔢𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔠𝔢 › los angeles , california 𝔥𝔬𝔪𝔢𝔱𝔬𝔴𝔫 › plantation mobile home park , florida 𝔫𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫𝔞𝔩𝔦𝔱𝔶 › american 𝔬𝔠𝔠𝔲𝔭𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 › actress & model 𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔠𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔪 › zoey deutch 𝔪𝔬𝔡𝔢𝔩𝔦𝔫𝔤 𝔠𝔩𝔞𝔦𝔪 › kaia gerber 𝔤𝔢𝔫𝔡𝔢𝔯 & 𝔭𝔯𝔬𝔫𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔰 › cisfemale & she / her 𝔬𝔯𝔦𝔢𝔫𝔱𝔞𝔱𝔦𝔬𝔫 › pansexual & panromantic 𝔩𝔞𝔟𝔢𝔩𝔰 › the coquette , the babydoll & the sybarite

* ･. ∘ 𝒂𝒆𝒔𝒕𝒉𝒆𝒕𝒊𝒄𝒔 . ◞

pink highlighted scripts scattered on the kitchen table , an intense coffee addiction , lacy lingerie peeking out of clothing , strappy high heels , floral perfumes with sweet notes , love letters tucked away in a hat box tucked on a closet shelf , black lingerie for special occasions , glossy lips constantly , pink champagne , sweet breakfast foods , freshly manicured nails

* ･. ∘ 𝒃𝒂𝒄𝒌𝒈𝒓𝒐𝒖𝒏𝒅 . ◞

valentina & matteo met at a typical high school party , valentina the girl from a strict & religious household , matteo the dirtbag left to his own devices

the two had a whirlwind romance , getting high off each other & off of crack , the drug of choice that matteo introduced valentina to

after only six months , valentina & matteo were addicted , not only to their toxic relationship but to the crack , all at the mere age of 15 & 18

their highs & carelessness led to valentina getting pregnant , when the two found out that she was pregnant they ran away

they both came from very strict households & this was their way out , something they always talked about in bed

they only went about four hours away from home , landing in plantation mobile home park florida

soon after getting the cheapest & most run down trailer matteo fled

he left to find the next needle to stick in his arm without the financial & emotional burden of being a father

thus , novita was born to an addict teenaged single mom in a trailer park

so valentina was left without her family , alone to raise a baby at the age of sixteen all the while trying to stay sober for the baby that changed her life , thankfully she was able to get a job but there were a few times where she almost lost it because she slipped

her mother , valentina , was a waitress at a diner making minimum wage

since valentina was a single parent that would work as much as she could nova had to be taken care of by someone else , she was watched by a older woman who she called kitty who had lived in the trailer park since she was born

when she did slip kitty watched nova , she actually had a small room just for the girl when valentina was either working late or disappeared for a little bit

because of her mother’s job & her craving for a high there wasn’t a whole lot of money for the two of them

nova grew up fairly poor life & she always fantasized about her mother getting swept off her feet by a rich , handsome doctor or lawyer , a fantasy that valentina shared but never voiced

when nova was seven she was at the mall with kitty , while her mom was at work , they were approached by a talent company who thought nova would make a great child actress or model

kitty knowing that valentina & nova needed the money , signed nova up

at first valentina was less than happy about her child being an actress or model because of how it would interfere with her job & nova’s schooling

but when she heard how much nova could make in just one day & with kitty offering to help by taking her to auditions & jobs she allowed nova to start her career

nova’s first job was a commercial for barbies , something that nova will always remember

the beginning of her career was a slow start , making valentina reconsider having nova being in the business a handful of times , but each time valentina had doubts , kitty helped reassure her

when nova turned twelve she got her biggest role , a reoccurring role in a soap opera as a daughter of a main character

she continued that role up until she was fifteen , by the time she hit fifteen school was really put on the back burner in nova’s eyes

instead of being concerned with pep rallies & dances , she was more bothered with finding what her next role or photoshoot would be

finally at sixteen , after a lot of pestering on nova’s part , valentina let nova quit school & instead get her ged

once she had her ged & didn’t need to attend school she had a lot more time on her hands , giving her more opportunities to work jobs

this is when her career really started taking off , she was booking more modeling gigs , which had her traveling & living the model lifestyle

the traveling made her long for a better life , seeing where elite models & talented actresses could go if they worked hard enough

this is what drove nova , she saved & saved & saved , instead of telling valentina she was making more money she tucked away the difference so that she would be able to make her way to la when she turned eighteen

the summer that her high school friends graduated & nova was about to turn eighteen , she moved across the country to la with a high school friend ( wanted connection mayhaps ) they got a run down apartment with all of the money they both had saved up

thanks to nova moving to la she was able to get better roles & more impressive gigs

i’m using zoey deutch as her acting claim so i’m gonna say that her first big role was as shadia in dirty grandpa when she was eighteen

then she slowly began getting more movie roles like everybody wants some !! , good kids , why him , & before i fall

she’s still not nearly where she would like to be career wise , but she’s making her way towards stardom

when her agent told her about the casting call for twenties , nova was apprehensive , she didn’t want to be seen as a reality tv star like paris hilton or lauren conrad , she wanted to make a name for herself as an actress

but nova’s agent convinced her that twenties would get her more recognition & show how hard she’s working on her craft & that was all it took for nova to say yes to the audition

she didn’t have high hopes for the show & didn’t even plan on being cast , but when she got the call she realized how eager she actually was to be apart of twenties

* ･. ∘ 𝒑𝒆𝒓𝒔𝒐𝒏𝒂𝒍𝒊𝒕𝒚 . ◞

𝔣𝔞𝔳𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔟𝔩𝔢 › fervent , driven , confident , charismatic & independent 𝔲𝔫𝔣𝔞𝔳𝔬𝔯𝔞𝔟𝔩𝔢 › egotistic , sybaritic , guileful , critical & histrionic 𝔪𝔲𝔰𝔢 𝔦𝔫𝔰𝔭𝔬 › buffy summers , jennifer check , lorelai gilmore , robin scherbatsky , lucille bluth , margaery tyrell , jackie burkhart & kathryn merteuil

given her history , nova has grown up to be a very driven & motivated girl

she takes her work very seriously because she never wants to end up like her mother or back in a trailer park

nova learned from a young age that being charismatic & flirtatious made you stand out in a crowd of girls the look the same as you & want the same things as you

she uses her sexuality to her advantage & she’s a huge feminist that promotes women making choices about their bodies for themselves

novs is all about the girl friendships & is loyal to a fault , if her best friend told her that her boyfriend broke up with her nova would be on his ass in an instant

despite her loyalty i don’t really see nova making lots of close friends easily , once they are close she’s extremely open but opening up is hard for her to do

she also likes to party she’s very much into the lavish lifestyle , wanting to milk it for all it’s work while it’s still available to her

she’s incredibly independent , very confident & extremely adventurous

though nova can be quite self absorbed & self obsessed in the sense that her career & herself are the only priorities in her life

* ･. ∘ 𝒅𝒆𝒔𝒊𝒓𝒆𝒅 . ◞

ride or die , girl squad , best guy friend , brother like relationship , good influence , party friends , drinking buddies , shopping friends , gossip squad , only like each other when they’re both drunk , on & off hookups , friends with benefits , one night stand , ex boyfriend , ex girlfriend , will they / won’t they , costar , producer , fellow model on a job , enemies , rivals , annoyance , angel on her shoulder , tagalong & so many more !!

#twenties:intro #drugs tw #tw drugs #this is kinda trash i'm sry just love me pls !!

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creatingnikki · 4 years

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Dearest O.,

You have absolutely no idea how much restraint it took me to call you ‘O.’ and not ‘Just O.’ since you answered for your name - Just O. is fine. Lame, isn’t it? But recently I have been realising why the older people get the lamer they seem – it’s because life is hard and if you don’t find tiny, silly, goofy ways to make yourself laugh and smile, you’d forget how to not be miserable. Damn it, Nikki. That’s such a sad note to start this letter on. To change that up, shall we talk about the colour blue?

Thank gender roles (not) but until I was in college I never quite paid attention to the colour blue. Pink, of course, was my favourite and I loved black, gold, silver, yellow, red, purple and even orange! But I never once considered blue because very early on as a child I had rejected that colour since it was for boys. Yes, societal conditioning can fuck you up in ways hard to fathom. But thankfully, I grew up and started to take notice and once I did I couldn’t stop. So, I totally understand when you say that you adore blue everything. It is such a beautiful range of colours – sky blue, teal blue, aqua blue, cobalt blue, Prussian blue and so many more soothing and gorgeous shades! That’s also why the Starry Night by Van Gogh is my favourite painting. Never have I seen multiple shades of blue used together so brilliantly!

(Classic) Blue is also the Pantone colour of 2020 and they say:

Instilling calm, confidence, and connection, this enduring blue hue highlights our desire for a dependable and stable foundation on which to build as we cross the threshold into a new era.

Irrespective of who says what I do believe that shades of blue, like the sea and the sky, are glorious things we humans are blessed with! And yes, I did want to dye my hair electric blue at one point. Did you?

The kind of love you described… Love is when you look at someone and you want to smile and you feel better just being around them…I felt that as a young teen and then never again. Is it possible? I cried last night after watching one of my favourite spoken word performances - When Love Arrives - which I highly recommend you to watch if you haven’t before. It made me cry at the end because I thought – is it possible to lose our ability to love and be loved in a romantic and pure way after we have had our heart broken so brutally? Of course, rationally I know it is and I have seen that happen with other people. But emotionally I feel like that won’t be the case for me. Yet, reading your answer made me smile and also thinking that you have felt that or have the ability to feel that – it makes me so happy.

And that brings me to the night you spoke about…I have been having quite a few of those lately. So I know exactly what you mean. I think about the boy I dated 5 years ago. Of the man who sexually abused me 9 years ago. Of the girl who called herself ‘my person’ but ghosted me when I needed the most. And then I break my heart further because still being affected by these things makes me feel like I’m beyond redemption? Like no matter how much time passes by these things will always matter and these people’s memories will always hurt. But I’ve learned this thing last year that I keep reminding myself – don’t have feelings about your feelings. Feel the way you want – it’s not really in your control in moments like these – but for god’s sake don’t feel shitty, or hopeless, or guilty or embarrassed of whatever it is that you’re feeling. Another thing I would like to tell you regarding this is that healing is not linear. And this quote to help give perspective:

“I’ve learned that this world is not linear, and neither are you. You could move back and forth and circle back to the same place you started but that doesn’t mean you failed. You could come back to the same place hundreds of times but you’re not the same person, are you? Sometimes you go back to the same person or the same place but everything looks different. It looks wiser and smarter and more careful. It looks clearer than before and you see things you never saw the first time. And who knows, perhaps that’s what it was all about in the first place.”

You know reading about the last time you felt absolutely loved warmed my heart and made me think of this thing my friend and I do. Ever since we graduated college in 2018, adulting has hit us hard. We are busy and dealing with a lot of shit. Whenever we do manage to meet or talk on call, we usually start by talking about the happy things and literally just sharing moments that made us feel good/loved. Thank you for sharing yours. Shall I share one in return?

It was 29th December and my school friends and I had gone on a mini road trip to a tiny beach town. We reached there in the afternoon, checked in, freshened up and left for the beach – a ten minute walk. The moment we entered it felt like we entered a magical realm where nothing worldly can bother us. The distance from the sandy shore to the sea was about a 3-minute run and one of my friends just began running towards the sea. And then so did we. We were in the water for about thirty minutes. Falling when the waves knocked us down but giggling anyway. Not seeing it as the waves vs us but as though the waves were playing with us, accepting us. We saw the sun set and knew that this was the right way to end the year, the decade.

Life is just that right – the happy and the sad interwoven in a way that it becomes hard for us to know what to expect what when. Or to cut off the sad because in the process we may just cut out the happy too. It’s kind of like a braid. The only way to get rid of it without unbraiding is to cut it off. I mean sure, you could try to sit and unbraid the happy from the sad but life is short and this pursuit seems wasteful. As long as we have some people who love us and who we love, I think we can take it. We can take the good with the bad.

Love,

Nikki

PS I think the person I have said the most ‘I love you’ to is my mom.

Guys, February is 29 days of love letters. I’m writing love letters, as part of The Love Project, and if you’d like me to write one to you, drop me an email at [email protected]

There are 7 more spots left, and you can still be a part of it if you’d like :D

There are 8 more spots left, and you can still be a part of it if you’d like :D I wrote this letter for O. based on some questions they answered. You can read the questions and their answers here.

#the love project #29 days of love letters #letter 9 #blue is a happy colour #blue is the warmest color #happy moments #happy days #life #happy valentines day #valentine's day #valentines day #valentine #writing love letters #love letter #love letters #let me write you love letters #let me write to you #creatingnikki

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msjackierose · 4 years

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MASQUERADE REVEAL | ST. ANDERSON

Tagging: Jackie & @hollywoodcooper

When: Saturday, February 29th

Where: St.James School of Performing Arts/Cooper Andersons Home

Warnings: small hints of nsfw

Notes: Cooper is bolded, Jackie is italic

Being able to dress up had to be one of Jackie's favorite things next to dancing. So this night was the perfect combination. And although having Cooper there would make everything perfect she was just as excited to get to facetime him today. He would still get to experience it with her. She wanted to make sure he could get a glimpse of the outfit before she would make any posts. Finding a quiet place to sneak away to from the party before pulling out her phone and calling Cooper.

Even though he’d not been able to fly back to attend the ball, Cooper has sent Jackie a dozen red roses and a red mask, banking into the fact that she’d go with her favourite colour. He’d found a mask for himself that complimented without matching exactly and had donned a black suit and the red tie and tie clip she’d given him for Valentine’s Day. When his phone rang with an incoming FaceTime call he knew it was Jackie and picked up eager. “Hey Beautiful!” He smiled into the phone.

The moment she saw Cooper and heard his voice her smile instantly grew. "Hello, Handsome!" Taking a moment to take in his outfit. "My gosh even over the phone you can still look amazing in a suit." She complimented, the fact that he still dressed up for her made her heart skip a beat. It made experiencing this together even more special. Even if he wasn't right next to her she still felt that same warmth and security that she always felt around him.

The moment Cooper saw Jackie come onto the screen he smiled. She was wearing the mask he sent and a red dress of course. Immediately his eyes zoned in on her bare neck, shoulders, and arms; a sigh escaping him. "You're wearing red. And you look beautiful, not that I doubted it." Cooper walked over to a full length mirror and turned the camera around so Jackie could see the full effect. "Okay your turn. Get someone to take the phone if you have to I want to see the full effect. Even if it means no doubt a racing pulse."

Jackie felt her confidence soar once she saw his eyes start to wander over her dress. A small smirk turned at the corners of her lips, but still couldn't hide the blush that grew on her cheeks. "Thank you, darling. I had a feeling you would like the color choice...and especially the bare neck." The last part she teased, giving him a wink. Gladly taking her turn to let her eyes wander over him when he stepped in front of a mirror. "The tie and clip." She said softly, before nodding. "Yes, yes of course!" Jackie made sure to pick a spot where she set down her phone and step back. Taking a few steps before she did a little turn to show off the whole dress.

"I should have sent something for your neck," Cooper grinned. "Or be there to mark it all up." His fingers went to the tie and the clip as she mentioned them. "Of course. I couldn't think of a a more perfect time to wear them both." He waited while she set her phone down and stepped back, into the frame and did a little turn, the skirt of her dress billowing out around her. Cooper whistled. "Wow. So you're undoubtedly the most beautiful woman in the room tonight. I'd probably have to fight people to dance with you."

The red shade on her cheeks got darker when he talked about marking up her neck. It totally made her mind wander. "They look amazing on you." She said softly before focusing on showing off the dress. After her spin she took a few steps towards her phone leaning forward slightly, knowing very well that the action would show off her chest. "I don't know I think I might have been distracted by having the most handsome date. If we weren't dancing I'd be hoping he'd would be leaving a mark or two." She moved some hair from her face, letting her fingers run along her neck. Jackie couldn't help but tease, it was too fun. "We would wow them on the dance floor though, I just know it."March 1, 2020

"Thank you beautiful," Cooper smiled. He groaned as Jackie leaned over, showing off her chest. "Please, please be careful doing that tonight. While your boyfriend very much appreciates that view, he'd prefer to be the only one appreciating it. And I'm sure if he was there, and you were not dancing with him he'd still be holding your hand, or in his arms, and enjoying kisses." He laughed. "You would wow them. I'd just be trying my hardest to keep up with you."

"What an amazing sound to hear." A hint of teasing still in her voice, her eyes locked on him. Jackie sat up after a moment, her proud smile still on her face. "Of course, my darling. That sight is reserved just for you. Part of why I made sure I could be alone for this little reveal." She teased before picking up her phone again. "All of that just sounds amazing. Almost like our early Valentines Day, if were werent dancing just being in each other arms." Just thinking about it made a bright smile grow on her face. "You did an amazing job though during our private lessons, you were catching on rather quickly. If I remember correctly"

“You drive me wild; you know that right?” Cooper laughed. Being with Jackie, especially now in this honeymoon phase, the NRE it tested all of Cooper’s will power. “Thank you for that,” he said softly. “You’re beautiful. And I can’t help myself around you. I want to be as close as we can. I don’t want you to ever doubt me being there for you.” He pointed a finger at the phone. “Because you’re an amazing teacher and I was trying to keep up and make you proud.”

“I hope I do, darling.” She couldnt help but let a laugh escape her too. Her eyes softening at what he said. “Even with the distance...it still always feels like you’re here. Your doing a great job of it and I just hope I’m doing just as well for you.” Jackie ducked her head down for a moment, “Well you did, you made me so proud. It made me wonder how one person can have so many talents.” She complimented. “And on top of all of that be so incredibly attractive.”

“Oh you do,” Cooper replied. “And I feel it a little more maybe because you were only here for a couple of days and it feels like our things, our places, are all Doveport related. Not something that can be helped just yet. And I miss you, obviously but you’re here when I need you. Setting aside special time and certain routines helps a lot with the distance too. Plus being busy and excited about new work.” He shook his heads. “Look at you being biased again.”

Jackie totally understood what he meant. “I’m hoping we can make that many more memories in California. We have a lot of time for that...like spring break, this summer. You can show me so many wonderful places just like how I showed you around here.” Jackie gave him a soft smile, “I could honestly spend all the time talking to you if we could.” She admitted, she certainly missed the days that they would just spend all day together. Making food, talking, and just enjoying each other’s company. “I mean I may be but look at you all dressed up. I could imagine so many people wanting to dance with you too.”

“Well I’ll also be back for some of that,” Cooper admitted. “But yes there is so much more out here I want to show you and share with you.” He nodded his head. “I know, I would too. Our lazy days I miss the most.” Cooper beamed at Jackie. “Speaking of; I’m sure there are lots of people waiting to dance with you. So I’ll talk to you later? But feel free to send me pictures or whatnot through the night. And most important, have fun.”

"I can't wait for all of it, so many wonderful things to do and memories to make." Just the thought of their lazy days made her heart flutter. Jackie did a playful pout when he said there were other people would want to dance with her. "Or I could stay and tease you some more." She joked before nodding, "Of course I will. I can't wait to get a dance with you and showing off my own surprise for you later." Jackie blew a kiss at the phone, "Talk to you later, handsome. Miss you." A sweet smile still on her face.

"If I know you, you'll tease me plenty later," Cooper laughed. He blew a kiss of his own at the phone. "See you later beautiful. Miss you too." He waggled his fingers and ended the call.

#para #para:006 #cooper

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thethornsweshare · 4 years

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A thorn

I have gone back and forth with starting a blog as a place for me to speak about my recovery.

I have gone back and forth for so long because my story is quite personal and deep. It makes me vulnerable to sit here and speak about my experiences. But, after coming to the realization that I can no longer afford proper treatment and therapy, I have decided a blog might actually benefit me. That being said, I feel obligated to put a trigger warning. My blog is an emotional dump for all the emotions that I feel on my path to recovery.

MY STORY

We can skip the dramatics and just layout this tragic series of events.

I was raised in a small town which means I grew up around people that over-analyzed my every move and made overly critical comments on things like my personality and my habits. It was normal to have your self-confidence stepped on, burned, and buried. Growing up, this would prove to take a toll on me and my mental health. By the time I was 11, I had already been put in a mental ward to receive treatment for “unspeakable behavior” when in reality I have an anxiety disorder and a family who doesn’t believe in anxiety. Do the math. Now, back when this happened, anxiety wasn’t really recognized and many doctors would slap “Bi-Polar” on anyone who showed any mix of emotions. So, naturally, I was diagnosed as Bi-Polar and sent home with a lovely concoction of medicine that would prove to be useless. It made me so numb that I looked insane. Face forward, a blank stare, no emotions to be found. My mother came to the conclusion after a year that I needed to be reevaluated because I would have outbursts.(anxiety. it’s called fucking anxiety) It took a dozen different psychiatrists and many years for us to find someone who would call my disorder by its name. High functioning generalized anxiety disorder. It was a split moment of relief. That split moment of relief was destroyed when she told us there isn’t a medication that could target all fronts of my disorder.

My anxiety would prove to be challenging and as I went through the years, I eventually learned how to cope with it. but that's a story for another time

Now flash forward to my Sophomore year of college. I was at my peak of “keeping my shit together” But, the fucking storm was brewing. Towards the end of my sophomore year of college, I began to feel this immense anxiety around food, around mirrors. My relationship with food has always sucked.

I would slowly begin avoiding food and decided in January, fuck new years resolutions, that I was going to eat better and “take care “of myself (ya, didn’t play in my favor). And for a while, that’s exactly what I did. Then February happened. Now, this is the part I throw one hell of a trigger warning.

I stopped eating. I formed an immense fear of food and gaining weight. I resorted to flavored waters to curb my cravings and an occasional cup of broth to keep me going. This carried on for months. Unfortunately, my body collapsed within five months and literally gave out. I had lost over half of my body weight in five months and began to suffer from the consequences. My heart literally shrunk in size (bro, the human body is weird) and my lung function was dropping.

I was so weak that I would randomly fall asleep with zero warning. Walking was literally painful. I couldn’t take a shower without passing out but, to me, it was worth it.

On July 29th, I was taken to the emergency room where my secret unfolded. (I had been bouncing back and forth with admitting myself to an eating disorder facility but my body had given out before I could make my mind up) Nurses called me a ghost because I was so dull and cold. I was having issues staying conscious which made it difficult for the doctors and nurses to fully understand what the issue was. The issue was that I was literally dying. They were shocked when they saw my BPM.. (the look on their face when she saw the monitor and said “fourty”, GOLD)

Anyways, July 29th was the start of my recovery. I was soon transferred to an inpatient residential hospital specializing in eating disorders. My projected treatment time was 6 months but I had to leave after only a few months due to not being able to afford treatment.

There are so many things I have learned and continue to learn on my journey. I will be sharing the good, the bad, and the ugly with you on this blog.

If you or anyone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please reach out for help

NEDA- (800) 931-2237 or https://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline

#warrior #recovery #blog #writter #recovery warrior #mental health

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hylukotranslations · 5 years

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B-PASS - June 1993 Album: Darker Than Darkness -Style 93- Text by Yasue Matsuura

All the members : For the rehearsals from January, we spent 50 days for 5 songs (Toll Yagami). For this album, the theme for making the songs was : "let's work being in a hurry and calming down" (Hisashi Imai).

If we follow the evolution of your work, since November of last year you should have started making songs. How about it in reality ? Were Imai-kun and Hide-kun really composing in November ?

(Imai and Hide looks at each other and grin)

What the hell are these smiles. What does it mean !?

Hisashi : At first, we had planned to start in November... But I was, how to say, working over and over on it, emm, so it wasn't yet...

Toll : And you went to the bars.

Hisashi : No, if I do that...

Atsushi : That won't arrange (laughs).

Hisashi : (laughs) I was drinking on the sly.

All : (burst out laughing)

Hidehiko : As for me I...

U-ta : You were drinking, right ?

Hidehiko : I left like that (laughs) (he takes a pose to show that he leaves 2 or 3 mm from the bottom of the bottle)

(Again all the members laugh)

Toll : After all you both were drinking.

And you hadn't made any song.

U-ta : You couldn't make songs but you were very drunk (note : play on words : "dekiru" = to make, "dekiagaru" = to be drunk)

(laughs) It was it in the beginning of this year that everyone really got the songs, right ?

Toll : Yes.

Then what were you doing in December ?

Hisashi : Preparing the party.

Gahahahaha.

Hisashi : Ah, but maybe I had finished one song. No, ah, I hadn't recorded it yet...

Toll : Were you still working over and over on it !?

Hisashi : That's what it means, if I say it differently.

You had ideas but you were at the stage where you were wondering how to combine them ?

Hisashi : Yes, if I say it in the good sense (laughs).

And you Hide-kun, in December ?

Hidehiko : Around the end of December, I had finished 2 songs.

At that stage, the others didn't listen to them yet ?

Hidehiko : I brought them to Acchan's place, then I went to my parents' and spent the last day of the year there. First of all, since Acchan writes the lyrics, I thought that he should listen to them first.

What did you think when you listened to them at first, Acchan ?

Atsushi : I thought that the 2 songs were different from what he has done so far. Also that they resembled Hide.

In January, you could start the rehearsals for 5 songs (3 songs of Imai, 2 of Hide).

Toll : We spent 50 days for 5 songs.

I heard that you spent too much time on them (laughs).

Toll : Thank to you (laughs).

Were you in hurry, thinking that you still had only 5 songs, and that you had to do much more ?

U-ta : For this album, the persons other than the members seemed really to lose patience, like if they were anxious.

Toll : Although we who were the ones to work didn't feel that at all.

In February they were already wondering : could we really finish for the release date !?

U-ta : Only the people around us were getting impatient, even the roadie Asami. When I told him : everything is ok, right ? he said : the members are the only ones to think that.

In February, you recorded the rhythm part of the 5 songs in a studio in the suburbs of Tokyo. When I went there, what I saw was a rotenburo (note : open air bath), a mah-jong table, games, and U-ta wearing only underpants (laughs).

U-ta : Stop that please...

You've just got out from the rotenburo, right ? But at that moment, Anii and Acchan weren't at the studio, so I interviewed only U-ta-kun and Hide-kun and left.

Hisashi : As for me, I was composing at home.

Toll : Personally I went back home since my recording was finished.

What about you Acchan ?

Atsushi : I wanted to write lyrics, so...

You were driving your beloved car.

Atsushi : (laughs)

U-ta told me that you went out to search subjects for your lyrics.

Atsushi : Well, I wanted to change of mood that way. Since when you stay for a long time at one place, you get bored.

What are the advantages and drawbacks of a recording lodging together like that ?

U-ta : The advantages is maybe that we can listen all together to what we recorded the day itself. And we can express immediately our impressions and opinions. Rather than recording and going back home and listen, and returning to the studio to discuss, it's more direct. As for the drawbacks, since we are all together, when we gather for a meeting, as we talk about this and that we start drinking and it could last for a long time (laughs).

It seems that Hide was playing good at mah-jong.

Hidehiko : This is about advantages (laughs).

And Imai-kun was addicted to Othello.

Hisashi : Yes.

You were saying, once more, once more, it was hard to finish when you had to go back.

Hisashi : Who told you that ?

Shimokawa-kun (manager). You went there to record the rhythm part, and yet all the five members gathered at the studio.

U-ta : You know, we've always been like that.

Hisashi : That's something normal for us...

U-ta : Since Imai-san had to compose the songs, he left before us, but it wasn't like he didn't participate at all from the beginning to the making of the songs. And if Imai-san didn't want to come, we probably wouldn't have cared if we didn't come.

The making of the three songs of Hide-kun progressed quickly, right ?

Hidehiko : We recorded the guitars also there, so I stayed there for a quite long time. And I also played mah-jong.

And Acchan was starting writing lyrics.

Atsushi : I was working discretely on a table which was at the corner of the lobby. But since it was a studio which was situated in a place like a resort, everyone was joyful, so I myself felt joyful (laughs). So it was difficult to concentrate.

U-ta : 10 days were good. If we have worked longer in a resort-like studio, it could have last for a long time.

Toll : If we had tried to do the whole work there, we would have felt saturated.

In March, you took around 10 days for Imai-kun's composition period, and you started rehearsing the songs that were made, and at the same time you carried on recording.

U-ta : Yes. We went back to the studio in Tokyo, and I and Anii were doing "guru guru rehearsals" (note : guru guru = turning round and round).

Toll : We were playing the same songs rotating them. We didn't want to get bored so we were playing the songs saying : next ! next ! and they were just turning round and round (laughs).

U-ta : So we two were saying that we were doing "guru guru rehearsals" (laughs).

Hisashi : Rather than saying with words that the next song will be of such kind, I thought that they would understand better if they heard it instantly from the demo-tapes, so until they were finished I practically didn't make them listen to them.

Atsushi : So, it's by listening to the demo-tapes that we could better understand the image of the songs, so we were patiently waiting until they were made.

Were you drinking ?

Hisashi : A little (laughs). Just a bit before going to bed. I just avoided drinking bourbon. Otherwise I would have died the next day.

Atsushi : Just beer I think. Just one small bottle of 350 ml.

Hidehiko : I too lightly. Maybe just some wine.

U-ta : We couldn't of course think of drinking until we were dead drunk, really.

In April you entered the second half. Your work was surprisingly progressing swimmingly.

Atsushi : Personally, I was worried. Even when I was drinking, there was a huge mound of things to do, so I was feeling guilty... Everyone was working well, so if I told them : I couldn't finish the lyrics in time, there was no excuse. Just that when I was unable to write, I could decide to abandon, I've become able to think : today I stop.

Hisashi : I too, when I think hard I lose discernment, so I say to myself that I have to end here for today, that I'll do it again tomorrow, and I drink. For this album, the theme for making the songs was : "let's work being in a hurry and calming down" (laughs).

U-ta : I think that it was hard for Imai-san to switch his mood. He was composing, at the same time he was coming to the studio, he also had to think about his guitar, to see the balance of the whole. It must have been hard also from the point of view of the time.

Moreover, he wrote the lyrics for 2 songs.

Hisashi : Concerning the lyrics, since there were themes that I wanted to write about, I could write quickly. I also told Acchan that I wanted to write for these songs.

Whatever the process was, let's say that all is well that ends well (laughs). The 29th of April, the take down was finished. So it can be released on the release date.

U-ta : That's why it was alright. Though everyone was in a hurry. Since everyone around us was getting nervous, we were also starting to get nervous... So I thought that this wasn't good.

Hisashi : Actually, tiredness was accumulated in me. To the point that I felt like this wasn't my body (laughs).

Atsushi : I feel like it's because we sometimes delayed the schedule that we could concentrate and naturally wanted to make something good. But well, that's something that we can say now that we could finish for the release date (laughs).

Your tour will start the 20th of May. To end, can I ask you about your enthusiasm ?

Hidehiko : I'll do my best.

That's all ?

Hidehiko : No... Emmm, let's say that I'll do my best from the bottom of my heart (laughs).

U-ta : I think that we are going to do a good tour, so please come to see us. I think that it's going to be offensive lives.

Toll : They are probably going to be wonderful lives !

Hisashi : I want the lives to be offensive, brutal, biting.

Atsushi : I will do the tour being self-confident, I'd like to show you dreams in my own special way, at least as an impostor.

--fin

translation: hyluko [livejournal] scans: tigerpal [livejournal]

NOTE: these translations are not mine also might not be very accurate. i took them from hyluko’s site using the wayback machine. thought they’re great to share. if the owner is around and wants me to take them down i will!

#バクチク #ヤガミトール #今井寿 #櫻井敦司 #星野英彦 #樋口豊 #Darker Than Darkness -Style 93-#Buck-Tick #Toll Yagami #Hisashi Imai #Atsushi Sakurai #Yutaka Higuchi #Hidehiko Hoshino #translation #b-pass

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