#and i am trying to fix it and there's not much i can do and im not venting about it to friends rn bc there's nothing they can do either
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A Cinderella Story
Charles Leclerc x Hispanic/Latina! Reader
Summary: Y/N, a McLaren mechanic, dances with the prince of Ferrari, at a Rolex masquerade charity ball. Charles has no clue who he danced with and is trying to find the girl of his dreams.
Warning: bad writing I guess, spelling and grammatical errors, inaccurate events
A/N: like i said before, I’m new to F1 so I don’t really know what kind of events go on so bear with me, please. Also, thank you so much for liking my other Charles Leclerc one shots, you have no idea how much it means to me that you like them. Y/N’s relationship with the Lando and Oscar is very much like brother and sister. Y/N is younger, mainly because I’m 21, hope all of y’all are okay with that.
Y/N was talking to Lando about his car after the Monaco Free Practice 1. (As a mechanic, she has her hair up)
“I am almost finished fixing your car, I think there’s something missing but it could be that I’m overthinking. You think you can test it out before FP2? That’s allowed, right?” Y/N asked, fishing her bracelet out of her pocket and putting it back on.
“Yeah I can drive it, 10 laps should be enough, yeah?” Lando asked, putting on his race suit and helmet.
“You’re the best, Lando!” Y/N exclaimed.
“I know.” Lando teased as he got in the car.
After the 10 laps, Lando got out of the car, took his helmet off, tied the suit around his waist, and walked to Y/N.
“The car is good, you worry too much, there is a reason why Zak hired you as a mechanic. Listen, I’m going out with the guys from Quadrant, want to come? I’ll invite Oscar too.” Lando said.
“Yeah sure I’ll come, when?” Y/N asked.
“I was thinking after the second practice, we can hit the showers, change, and go straight to the club.” Lando said.
“Okay, sounds good, I’ll go ask Oscar if he wants to come.” Y/N said, she was clearing her stuff and was on her way to talk to Oscar when she bumped into someone. “Que torpe soy, I'm so sorry.” Y/N apologized without looking.
“My fault, chéri, you alright?” Charles asked, looking at Y/N for signs of discomfort.
“Nah I'm good, thank you.” Y/N said flustered, unbeknownst to her, Oscar saw the whole thing go down and he was holding in his laughter. “Don’t you dare, Australia.” Y/N warned.
“Your crush on Leclerc is so obvious, America, it hurts to watch.” Oscar said between laughs.
“Ha ha, like you weren't like this around Lily?" Y/N asked.
"Yeah, I was nervous, but I definitely wasn't as bad as you." Oscar said.
"Anyway, Lando invited us to go out after FP2 with the quadrant gang, you coming? Please say yes, Lando is probably going to spend all night talking to Max anyway, I can’t be alone.” Y/N practically begged.
“Yeah sure, I’ll go, you need a few drinks to erase what happened with Leclerc.” Oscar said.
“Awesome! So Zak sent an email saying that he has a surprise for us tomorrow, do you have any idea what that might be?" Y/N asked, showing Oscar the email on her phone, Oscar took her phone to read it better.
"I don't know what it could be about. Anything that needs to be fixed in my car or is it good?" Oscar asked.
"it should be fine, i checked everything with Henry and Bryan (other mechanics), nothings wrong. It’s ready for the second free practice." Y/N said.
“Great. You'll be watching, right?" Oscar asked.
"Of course! Need to make sure my papaya boys get fastest lap." Y/N said.
"And your monegasque too." Oscar teased.
"Don't make me hurt you, Australia." Y/N said.
"You love me too much to do that, America." Oscar said, walking.
"Whatever." Y/N replied.
Two hours later, FP2 started, Y/N was watching everything with the rest of the team, eating chips.
“Is that necessary?” Andrea asked.
“You have no idea how much.” Y/N commented.
FP2 went well, Charles Leclerc got fastest lap. Lando and Oscar took off the helmets and balaclavas, tying their suits around their waists.
“Great free practice, sorry you didn’t get fastest lap though.” Y/N said.
“No your not.” Lando commented.
“Bet you were happy when Leclerc got it.” Oscar said.
“Well I can’t say I wasn’t happy.” Y/N said.
“Alright so let’s start getting ready. Will you drive or am I driving you?” Lando asked.
“I carpooled with Henry, drive me?” Y/N asked.
“Yeah sure. Shit, i can’t, gotta pick up Max.” Lando said.
“I’ll drive you.” Oscar offered.
“Thanks, Australia.” Y/N said. “Now both of you hit the showers, y’all are sweaty.” Y/N said.
After the boys showered, they changed, Y/N changed into something more club appropriate and let her hair down.
Y/N walked to Oscar’s car.
“What took you so long?” Oscar asked.
“Im a girl, guys can wear a shirt and jeans and everyone will freak out, if I wear the same thing, I get told I look crusty.” Y/N said.
“But you just had that outfit with you?” Oscar asked.
“If I learned anything from watching Crazy Rich Asians, you should always have a clubbing outfit and a cocktail outfit with you at all time.” Y/N said, getting into the passenger seat of Oscar’s car. “Lando sent you the address right?”
“Yeah, let’s go.” Oscar said. He started the car, they listened to music and talked until they got to the club. They got in, Y/N said hello to everyone with a kiss on the cheek because that’s how her mom raised her. She sat at their booth and Y/N spotted Charles at the bar.
“Bro, Charles is here.” Y/N said, patting Oscar’s arm.
“And? You gonna do something or observe from afar like you always do?” Oscar asked.
“Well…” Y/N started but she saw a woman approach Charles. “I don’t want to interrupt his scintillating conversation.”
“I Don’t understand, you talk to Lando and I just fine.” Oscar commented.
“I was nervous around you guys too, don’t lie. I just got used to y’all, but I never had a crush this huge before, I’ve never been in a relationship, had a first date, or even a first kiss, I’m very inexperienced, okay?” Y/N admitted (guilty).
“So you’re just going to be pining away for him?” Oscar asked,
“Yep.” Y/N said.
The table ordered drinks, designated drivers get 2 drinks max. The night was fun, Lando got to deejay again, Carlos was also there so he joined their group. Since they had free practice 3 tomorrow, they needed to rest up. Oscar dropped Y/N off at her apartment, she changed, washed her face, put on a silk bonnet to protect her hair, and went to sleep.
The next morning, Y/N had her hair in two French braids and wearing her favorite bracelet. She drove to the the track and walked to the Lando’s garage.
“Are you as tired as I look?” Y/N asked.
“No, I feel fine, really.” Lando said,
“Lucky, i had trouble sleeping.” Y/N said. Lando was going to say something else when Zak came into the garage.
“Alright, I have an announcement to make. As you know, F1 is partners with Rolex, so we are invited to Rolex’s masquerade charity ball. It will be on Sunday after the Grand Prix. It starts at 8, it gives you plenty of time to get ready after the race and podium interviews.” Zak said. Everyone was excited.
“Would you give me money to buy a dress? And shoes?” Y/N whispered to Lando.
“I’ll tell you what, I’ll go shopping with you.” Lando whispered back.
“This is why I love you.” Y/N teased. Zak walked towards Y/N and Lando went to talk to Oscar.
"Y/N, I need you in the McLaren Technology Centre on Monday." Zak said.
"Really? For what?" Y/N asked.
“For mechanical stuff. We’re planning on creating a new McLaren, you like the creative process, and I still need Henry and Bryan here if we have anything major to fix after the Grand Prix. I already got your ticket, first class too. Don’t miss your flight.” Zak said.
“Of course, I won’t.” Y/N said. Zak gave Y/N her ticket and she started checking the information. Her flight leaves at 3am. “Wait, isn’t this flight a little soon?”
“I know, but I need as many people working on the new McLaren as possible. You’ll only be there for 4 days, then you can relax in Monaco before we go to Canada.” Zak said and he walked away. Lands came back with Oscar and saw Y/N’s worried face.
“Whats wrong, America?” Oscar asked.
“If i go to the Rolex ball thing, I would have to leave before midnight so I have time to change and go to airport in Nice. Oh shit, I have to pack my luggage.” Y/N said.
“Can’t you just skip the ball?” Landon asked.
“Dude, when am I ever going to get invited to theses kind of events? I’m going and you’re taking me shopping.” Y/N said, pointing at Lando.
“Fine, but we’re getting food after. You think we can do it after qualifying?” Lando asked.
“I guess, but you’re calling the store, they know you.” Y/N said. “How do y’all feel about this race?” Y/N asked the boys.
“Max is definitely winning, but hopefully we’ll get on the podium.” Oscar said.
“I believe in you guys, really.” Y/N said before hugging them.
“But you also want Leclerc on the podium.” Oscar said.
“I’m just a girl, leave me alone.” Y/N said,
FP3 and Quali went by fast, no accidents. Max got pole, Charles P2, Oscar P3. During the break between FP3 and Quali, Y/N tried fixing up her Jeep Wrangler Sahara, with Zak’s okay so, of course. Lando texted Y/N the address to the shop and she drove there, parking right next to Lando.
“Alright, love, let’s get you that dress.” Lands said, guiding Y/N into the store with his hand on her lower back. “Hello, we’re looking for an evening dress for her.” Lando told the sales associate.
“Of course, all these dresses right here should be in your size, we have a selection of heels that would go well with these dresses as well.” The sales associate, Ana, said.
“Do you have any dresses in pastel blue?” Y/N asked. Ana started looking through the rack and pulled out a dress that she thought Y/N might like.
“Here you go. Because this dress has a slit, I recommend some tall high heels to elongate your legs. I prefer the platform ones like these.” Ana said, showing Y/N the heels. “Here is a dressing room, I’ll be right outside if you need help zipping it up, okay?” Ana said, handing Y/N the dress and heels.
“Thank you so much.” Y/N said, stepping into the dressing room and getting changed. She got the dress on and sat in the chair to put on the heels. After she strapped on the heels, she tries zipping up the dress, but can’t make it to the top. “Ana, I need help.” Y/N said. Ana pulled the curtain and helped Y/N zip the dress.
“You look beautiful.” Ana said. Y/N walked out of the dressing room, and she looked at Lando, who was on his phone, he looked up and his jaw dropped.
“Wow Y/N, you look great. You’ll be the most beautiful girl there.” Lando said, getting up to get a closer look. He made the motion to have Y/N twirl and she did.
“Not bad for a mechanic, right?” Y/N joked.
“Not bad at all. We’ll take it.” Lando said.
“I’ll change and we’ll be on our way.” Y/N said. Lando unzipped the dress, stopping right above her waist and Y/N unzipped the rest already in the dressing room. She changed, putting the dress on the hanger and the heels in its box, she got out and gave the things to Lando so he could pay.
After paying Lando handed Y/N her things and they walked outside to their cars.
“Thanks again for buy it.” Y/N said.
“Yeah of course. Where do you want to eat though? I’m starving.” Lands said.
“You pick.” Y/N said.
“If you say so.” Lando said. “Just follow me.” Lando got into his car, Y/N got in hers, and she followed Lando to Graziella, an Italian restaurant.
They were seated, Lando had beef tagliata with Gorgonzola sauce and French fries, Y/N had penne alla carbonara (I looked up the restaurant menu to be as accurate as possible). When they finished eating, they went to the parking lot to get their cars.
“I’ll see you tomorrow.” Lando said goodbye, they hugged before driving off to their apartments.
When arriving to her apartment, Y/N started playing music as she packed for a four day trip. She hung her dress right in front of her closet. She finished packing, had a late night snack, and went to bed.
Tonight’s the night, after the Grand Prix with Max P1, Charles P2, and Lando P3, Y/N was getting ready, putting on her dress, her shoes, styling her hair down, and putting on her bracelet. Everything looked good, her luggage was already in her car. She drove to the venue where the ball was taking place, gave her name to the people in charge, and Y/N was given a masquerade mask.
(Choose whichever dress you like better)
Y/N walked in and all eyes were on her. She began fiddling with her bracelet until two guys approached her.
“America, you look great.” Oscar said.
“Thanks, Australia, Lando showed you the picture he took yesterday huh?” Y/N asked.
“He did.” Oscar said.
“I had to show you off. I don’t see you with your hair down that often, you know.” Lando said.
“I’m a mechanic, can’t have my hair in my face.” Y/N commented. “I’m gonna get a drink, okay, I’ll be right back,” Y/N said, she walked to the drink table to get herself some champagne and another guy walked up to her.
“You made quite the entrance, you know. You Commanded the attention of everyone in the room.” The guy spoke, his voice seemed familiar to Y/N but almost everyone in Monaco has a similar voice.
“Why thank you, kind sir.” Y/N feigned an English accent as she curtsied.
“Do you go to these events often?” The guy asked, also sipping champagne,
“Not really, it’s technically a work thing, but this is my first time going to a charity ball.” Y/N replied to the mask stranger. His eyes a beautiful shade of blue-green, his eyes feel so familiar to her, why the hell can’t she figure out who this guy is.
“I’m here for work as well.” The guy replied. They kept talking until a slow song started playing. “Care to dance, chéri?” The guy extended his hand to Y/N
“I’d love to.” Y/N said, taking his hand to dance.
“Baby blue is actually one of my favorite colors.” The guys admitted.
“It’s mine too. I love all shades of blue, but pastel blue is just beautiful.” Y/N said. “So since you’re here for work, what do you do? I’m a mechanic.”
“You’re definitely the prettiest mechanic I ever saw. I’m a driver.” The guys replied. What’s going on in Y/N’s mind is that he’s a driver and has a French accent, it could be Pierre, but he’s with Kika. She’s hoping it’s Charles but she doesn’t want to get disappointed either.
“Thank you, that’s cool that you’re a driver.” Y/N said.
They talked and danced some more, it was all going well until the clock chimed, saying it was 11:55pm.
“Listen, Frenchy, it’s been fun, but I gotta go,” Y/N said, pulling away from him.
“I’m not French, I’m monegasque.” The guy said, the confirmed Y/N’s suspicions. He took off the mask.
“Charles.” Y/N said.
“Yes, I’m Charles Leclerc, what’s your name?” Charles asked, Y/N heard the clock chime again.
“I’m sorry, I really have to go.” Y/N said, she exits the hall and puts the mask on the table before running out the the parking lot to get into her car to drive to her apartment. Charles chased after her but she saw her car leaving. He looked on the ground and he saw the bracelet that she was wearing on the floor.
“I will find out who you are.” Charles said, placing the bracelet in his suit pocket.
Y/N made it to her apartment, parked her car, went upstairs, got changed, and went downstairs to her car but it won’t start.
“Hijo de la chingada, this can’t be happening to me.” Y/N said. She got her luggage out of her car and order an Uber to nice airport,
The car arrived and dropped her off at the airport, she was on time for her flight, everything was good, but Y/N noticed her bracelet was missing.
“Ah, for fucks sake.” Y/N exclaimed as she waited in the terminal for them to call her flight.
Meanwhile Charles got into his Ferrari and drove back to his apartment. When he was home with his dog Leo, he was looking at Instagram to see if anyone posting from the event was the girl he danced with.
"What do you think, Leo? Am i going crazy?" Charles asked the blonde dachshund on his lap. He gets no answer. "Okay, maybe a little, but I had a wonderful time with her."
Charles decided to do the reasonable thing and posted a photo of the charm bracelet he found with the caption "Does this belong to you? Found on the floor of (venue) on May 26th. Contact me if this bracelet is yours." Charles turned off his phone and decided to go to sleep.
The next day, Y/N got off the plane, she turned off the airplane mode on her phone, and that's when she started recieving calls from Lando, she answered.
"Dude, what is wrong with you? I just got off the plane, who died?" Y/N asked, confused why she had so many texts and missed calls from Lando and Oscar.
"Charles posted a photo of your charm bracelet last night. You fucking danced with Charles and you didn't tell me or Oscar? We're happy for you." Lando said. "You should tell him its yours."
"No way, I know i told him i was a mechanic last night, but he is definitely expecting someone as beautiful as Kika, he would totally be disappointed if he finds out it was me." Y/N said, getting an Uber to drive her to the hotel Zak also booked for her.
"You are beautiful, Y/N, honestly, if we weren't friends, i would have flirted with you everyday until you gave me a chance." Lando said.
"Thank you but i can't help but feel how i feel. I gott go, I'm heading to my hotel then i'll go to McLaren, talk to you later." Y/N said.
The four days Y/N was in Woking, Charles was answering DMs of women claiming it was their bracelet. He would follow up with the questions "What do you do for work?" and "What color was your dress?" No one has answered those two questions correctly. Charles was starting to think it was a lost cause and he would never find her. He decided to go out with Pierre and Kika and he brought Leo with him.
"Still haven't found her, Charlie?" Pierre asked.
"No! It has been four days, everyone in my DMs who is claiming the bracelet is not her." Charles said.
"Charles, do you even know this girl's name?" Kika asked.
"I don't, i just have her bracelet and there is no indication of a name or anything that could be useful." Charles said.
"I'm sorry, Charles." Kika said, rubbing his arm.
"I felt we had a connection, even if she did call me frenchy." Charles said.
"Well there isn't a way to shorten 'monegasque' you know." Pierre said.
"Yes, I am aware." Charles said.
It was now the Canadian Grand Prix, Y/N flew with Lando and Oscar obviously. When they landed, they went to their hotel rooms, to leave their stuff and went to the hotel restaurant to order some food. Y/N had her hair down becasue she was not risking a ponytail headache. She was sitting with Oscar while Lando was talking to Carlos. Charles came downstairs and he spotted Y/N with her hair down. It looked remarkably similar to the girl he danced with. She saw Lando with Carlos so he sat right next to Lando.
"Hey Lando, quick question, did Y/N attend the Rolex thing?" Charles asked.
"She did, yeah, why?" Lando asked the monegasque.
"Does this happen to be her bracelet?" Charles asked, pulling out the bracelet from his pants pocket.
"Okay, why are you carrying that around?" Lando asked curiously.
"Just answer the question, Lando." Charles said.
"yes, yes, thats her bracelet." Lando admitted.
It all made sense, Charles started thinking about the first time he met Y/N and she called him 'Frenchy'.
It was Y/N's first day in the paddock and she walked into Charles's garage by accident. She was looking around and she bumped into him, Charles exclaimed something in French.
"Oh my god, I am so sorry, frenchy, I'm just a little lost." Y/N said.
"First, I am not French, i am monegasque." Charles said.
"Oh my god, you're Charles Leclerc! Sorry, I'm Y/N, I'm looking for the McLaren garage." Y/N said, holding her hand out for Charles to shake, which he did.
"Its on the other side actually. So why are you here?" Charles asked.
"Oh, I am McLaren's new mechanic." Y/N said.
"Nice to meet you, I'll walk you to McLaren." Charles said.
Charles had a tiny crush on her since that day but Y/N hardly spoke to him so he thought she didn't like him. He wlaked over to the table where Y/N was with Oscar.
"Y/N, can i talk to you for a second?" Charles asked. Y/N looked at Oscar.
"I'm gonna sit with Logan." Oscar said, getting up. Charles took his seat.
"I think this is yours." Charles said, showing Y/n the bracelet.
"Are you disappointed to find out that i was the girl you danced with?" Y/N asked, too shy to look at him. Charles lift her chin with his finger so she could look in his eyes.
"Why would i be disappointed? I don't know if you noticed, amour, but I've like you since you came into my garage by accident." Charles admitted. "Were you disappointed to find out you danced with me? Is that why you rushed out so quickly?"
"No, of course not! I had to go to Woking for some McLaren business and my flight was at 3am so I had to leave to change and have time to go to the airport in Nice. I was so shocked that it was you though, like i was dancing with my celebrity crush the whole night." Y/N said.
"Good to hear I'm your celebrity crush. Let's get this bracelet on." Charles said, opening the bracelet, Y/N held out her wrist, and Charles successfully secured the bracelet on her wrist. "That's better."
"It is. Thank you for finding it, I would have died if i lost it." Y/N said.
"It's no problem. So i was wondering if you would like to go on a date with me, we could go after FP2." Charles suggests.
"I would like that a lot." Y/N said.
"Perfect. Is it alright if i kissed you? I've been imagining this moment for months." Charles said.
"Go ahead." Y/N said. Charles moved her hair behind he ear and kissed her softly. They pulled away. "That was way better than my dreams."
"You dream about kissing me, mon ange?" Charles teasingly asked.
"You imagined kissing me too." Y/N said.
"True, I'm glad i don't have to imagine it anymore though." Charles said, wrapping his arm around Y/N's shoulders as they looked over the menu.
The End
Hope y’all liked it! Was it too long? I thought it was okay
#hispanic reader#latina#hispanic#charles leclerc fluff#charles leclerc imagine#charles leclerc fanfic#charles leclerc x you#charles leclerc#charles leclerc x reader#formula one#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#formula 1#f1 fanfic
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One nerd's musing about Chinese religion and "respect"
-I try to stay away from fandom discourse, but, much like how you can smell the stench from a dumpster fire without walking into said dumpster fire, I've noticed something that seemed to come up a lot in western JTTW + adjacent fandoms: "respect Chinese religion".
-Usually as a reason for why you shouldn't ship a character, because of fucking course it's shipping discourse too.
-And my first reaction is "Man, you are taking Chinese religion too darn seriously, more than people who are born and raised in China."
-My second reaction is "I mean, most of us are atheist/agnostic by default anyways, with a good number of what I'd call 'atheist/agnostics with superstitions': people who said they were not religious, yet believed in Fengshui or divinations and burnt incense at temples for good luck."
-My third reaction: "But why do I get the feeling that when you mention 'Respect', you are thinking about something completely different?"
-Then I reread an essay from Anthony C. Yu, "Religion and Literature in China: The "Obscure Way" of Journey to the West", and the metaphorical lightbulb just lit up over my head.
(Everything below applies more to Daoism + associated folk religions, but by the time when most classic Chinese vernacular novels were written, the blending of the three religions had become well and truly mainstream.)
(The conception of gods differs from dynasty to dynasty. What I'm describing here is mostly based on Ming and Qing ones; if you went back to Han or pre-Qin times, most of these would not apply.)
(I am one of the "atheist/agnostic by default" people. I just have an interest in this kind of stuff. I am also just one Chinese person, and an actual Daoist/Buddhist/Religion Studies researcher would probably have a lot more valuable information and perspective to offer when it comes to contemporary practices and worship. Like any people on the internet: take my words with a grain of salt.)
-Even in the past, when society was far less secularized, Chinese gods are not omniscient, perfect beings whose worship is a solemn, humorless affair. Some's worship are Serious Business, but that has more to do with the sort of gods they are and the patronage they enjoy, not godhood in and of itself.
-And even the ones that you are supposed to "treat seriously" are still very human. To use an analogy I've used plenty of times before: you respect and fear them in the same way you'd respect and fear an emperor's official, or the emperor himself, because if you don't, you are not gonna like the consequences.
-However, unlike Jesus, the emperor & his officials were capable of being temperamental, flawed, or an outright asshole, divine or not. Ideally, they wouldn't be, and if you were one of the "serious" believers——people who actually got an official permit, became ordained clergy, and went to live in a temple, you were unlikely to think of your gods in that manner.
-But it wasn't a complete, utter impossibility. The lower you go in the pantheon, the closer you get to popular religion, the less "serious" the gods and their worship become. By that, I mean general attitude, not sincerity of faith. You still shouldn't be rude to them, but, well, they are more likely to take a joke in stride, or participate in the "vulgar" pleasures of commoners because they weren't as bound to Confucian moral standards or religious disciplines.
-To stretch the same analogy further: you should still respect your village head, they could still give your ass a good spanking for being a disrespectful brat, but you were not obligated to get on your knees and kowtow to them like you would do in front of a provincial magistrate, the emperor's minister, or the emperor himself, nor did they have the power to chop your head off just because you were rude.
-On the other hand, the emperor would never visit a random peasant just to help them fix their broken plow or treat them to a nice meal, but your village head could, and your relationship would probably be warmer and a lot more personal as a result.
-Your respect for them was more likely to stem from the things they actually did for you and the village as a whole, instead of something owed to this distant, powerful authority you might never get to see in your lifetime, but could change its course with a single stroke of a brush.
-Now exchange "village head" for your run-of-the-mill Tudis and Chenghuangs and friendly neighborhood spirits (because yes, people worshipped yaoguais for the exact same reasons), emperor + his officials for the Celestial Bureaucracy, and you'd have a basic idea of how Chinese religions worked on the ground level.
-This is far from absolute: maybe your village head was a spiteful old bastard who loved bullying his juniors, maybe your regional magistrate was an honest, upright man who could enjoy a good drink and a good laugh, maybe the emperor was a lenient one and wouldn't chop your head off for petty offenses. But their general degree of power over you and the closeness of your relationships still apply.
-Complicating the matter further, some folk gods (like Wutong) were worshipped not because they brought blessings, but because they were the divine equivalent of gangsters running a protection racket: you basically bribed them with offerings so they'd leave you alone and not wreck your shit. Famous people who died violently and were posthumously deified often fell into this category——shockingly enough, Guan Yu used to be one such god!
-Yeah, kinda like how your average guy could become an official through the imperial examinations, so could humans become gods through posthumous worship, or cultivate themselves into immortals and Enlightened beings.
-Some immortals aren't qualified for, or interested in a position in the Celestial Bureaucracy——they are the equivalent of your hermits, your cloistered Daoist priests, your common literati who kept trying and failing the exams. But some do get a job offer and gladly take it.
-Anyways, back to my original point: that's why it's so absurd when people pull the "Respect Chinese Religion1!!1!" card and immediately follow up with "Would you do X to Jesus?"
-Um, there are a lot of things you can do with Chinese gods that I'm pretty sure you can't do with Jesus. Like worshipping him side by side with Buddha and Confucius (Lao Tzu). Or inviting him to possess you and drink copious amount of alcohol (Tang-ki mediums in SEA). Or genderbend him into a woman over the course of several centuries because folks just like that version of Jesus better (Guan Yin/Avalokitesvara).
-But most importantly, Chinese religions are kinda a "free market" where you could pick and choose between gods, based on their vicinity to you and how efficient they were at answering prayers. You respect them because they'll help you out, you aren't an asshole and know your manners, and pissing them off is a bad idea in general, not because they are some omnipotent, perfect beings who demand exclusive and total reverence.
-A lot of the worship was also, well, very "practical" and almost transactional in nature: leave offerings to Great Immortal Hu, and he doesn't steal your imperial seal while you aren't looking. Perform the rites right and meditate on a Thunder General's visage, and you can temporarily channel said deity's power. Get this talisman for your kids at Bixia Yuanjun's temple, and they'll be protected from smallpox.
-"Faith alone" or "Scripture alone" is seldom the reason people worship popular deities. Even the obsession with afterlife wasn't about the eternal destination of your soul, and more about reducing the potential duration of the prison sentence for you and your loved ones so you can move on faster and reincarnate into a better life.
-Also, there isn't a single "canon" of scriptures. Many popular gods don't show up in Daoist literature until much later. Daoist scriptures often came up with their own gigantic pantheons, full of gods no one had heard of prior to said book, or enjoyed no worship in temples whatsoever.
-In the same way famous dead people could become gods via worship, famous fictional characters could, too, become gods of folk religion——FSYY's pantheon was very influential on popular worship, but that doesn't mean you should take the novels as actual scriptures.
-Like, God-Demon novels are to orthodox Daoism/Buddhism what the Divine Comedy is to medieval Christian doctrines, except no priests had actually built a Church of Saint Beatrice, while Daoists did put FSYY characters into their temples. By their very nature, the worship that stemmed from these books is not on the same level of "seriousness" as, say, the Tiantai school of Buddhism and their veneration of the Lotus Sutra.
-At the risk of being guilty of the same insertion of Abrahamic religion where it doesn't belong: You don't cite Dante's Inferno in a theological debate, nor would any self-respecting pastor preach it to churchgoers on a Sunday.
-Similarly, you don't use JTTW or FSYY as your sole evidence for why something is "disrespectful to Chinese religion/tradition" when many practitioners of said religions won't treat them as anything more than fantasy novels.
-In fact, let's use Tripitaka as an example. The historical Xuanzang was an extraordinarily talented, faithful, and determined monk. In JTTW, he was a caricature of a Confucian scholar in a Buddhist kasaya and served the same narrative function as Princess Peach in a Mario game.
-Does the presence of satire alone make JTTW anti-Buddhist, or its religious allegories less poignant? I'd say no. Should you take it as seriously as actual Buddhist sutras, when the book didn't even take itself 100% seriously? Also no.
-To expand further on the idea of "seriousness": even outside of vernacular novels, practitioners are not beholden to a universal set of strict religious laws and taboos.
-Both Daoism and Buddhism had what we called "cloistered" and "non-cloistered" adherents; only the former needed to follow their religious laws and (usually) took a vow of celibacy.
-Certain paths of Daoist cultivation allow for alcohol and sexual activities (thanks @ruibaozha for the info), and some immortals, like Lv Dongbin, had a well-established "playboy" reputation in folklore.
-Though it was rarer for Buddhism and very misunderstood, esoteric variants of it did utilize sexual imageries and sex. And, again, most of the above would not apply if you weren't among the cloistered and ordained clergy.
-Furthermore, not even the worship of gods is mandatory! You could just be a Daoist who was really into internal alchemy, cultivating your body and mind in order to prolong your lifespan and, ideally, attain immortality.
-This idea of "respect" as…for a lack of better words, No Fun & R18 Stuff Allowed, you must treat all divinity with fearful reverence and put yourself completely at their mercy, is NOT the norm in Chinese religious traditions.
-There are different degrees and types of respect, and not every god is supposed to be treated like the Supreme Heavenly Emperor himself during an imperial ceremony; the gods are capable of cracking a joke, and so are we!
TL;DR: Religions are complicated, and you aren't respecting Chinese religions by acting like a stereotypical Puritan over popular Chinese deities and their fictional portrayals.
#chinese religion#chinese mythology#chinese folklore#fandom discourse#journey to the west#xiyouji#investiture of the gods#fengshen yanyi
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I Will be Here, Don't You Cry - 4,971 Words
Two fics in one day?! She must have written this instead of doing any work...
Set after the reunion in A Different Approach. This is a Hunter and Omega father-daughter fluff/hurt/comfort fest!
This is pretty much canon compliant, however there is an AU time-hop to the end of Season 3 at the end.
As always, the link to my AO3 is here and the link to my masterlist on tumblr is here.
Thank you so much for reading and for your support! I really appreciate it!
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In hindsight, Hunter should have checked her over before she went to sleep; that had been his first mistake.
Omega had clung to Hunter’s side, still sniffling as they walked back towards the Marauder. Hunter had wanted to bask in the warmth of having her back for longer, but realistically he knew that they needed to leave before the Empire managed to track the ship Crosshair and Omega had arrived in.
Speaking of Crosshair…
The clone had been silent since disembarking the cargo shuttle. He had walked back over to his siblings, trying not to break his cold expression on his approach. Hunter had looked him up and down, nodding his thanks.
After all, despite their differences, he had brought Omega home.
Once on board the ship, it dawned on Hunter that Crosshair hadn’t seen it since they had converted the gunner’s mount to Omega’s room… and they had kept her room almost exactly as it had been left.
This was mostly down to the fact that Hunter hadn’t been able to stomach going anywhere the gunner’s mount during the little girl’s absence. It held too many memories of laughter and smiles and bedtime stories. Even when they had needed the ship’s canons, it had been Wrecker who’d had to enter the turret.
Glancing down to where Omega still had her arms wrapped around one of his, he couldn’t help but smile at the overwhelmingly warm feeling that filled him. Despite it all, she had made it back to them. Back to him.
He choked back his emotion, clearing his throat before asking Wrecker to start up the engines. Crosshair glanced silently around the cabin before his eyes fixed on something. He inhaled sharply, his face pinching in pain. Hunter followed his brother’s gaze and his heart ached when he saw Tech’s smashed goggles still sat on the shelf. Another thing he hadn’t been able to go near. The pain the goggles held still egged down on the sergeant, and he made a point of crouching down in front of Omega.
“You hungry, kid?” he asked as the ship began to power up. Almost on cue, Omega’s stomach grumbled and she laughed shyly before nodding.
“I guess I am,” she admitted. “It’s been a while since we’ve eaten… we just wanted to get back to you.”
Hunter nodded, sending Crosshair a questioning glance. The sniper frowned, but his face softened slightly when Omega turned to him with one of her disarming smiles.
“Batcher needs something too,” he commented, not unkindly. Hunter looked down at the hound, nodding at his brother’s comment.
“We might have something she can eat,” he replied. The conversation was short. Sharp. Tense.
Hunter supposed he should count himself lucky that Crosshair had spoken to him at all… though had he really been speaking to Omega? Who knew… hopefully that would clear up with time.
Wrecker guided the ship into hyperspace before setting the controls to autopilot and spinning around in his chair. The cockpit was still empty apart from him and his heart sank slightly at that; he was happy to have Omega back, thrilled even. The little girl lit up every room she entered and he couldn’t wait for things to go back to how they were… or sort of how they were. Wrecker supposed things would never be the same now that Tech was gone.
Maybe Crosshair would re-join them? He wouldn’t go back to the Empire, not after spending time imprisoned there. Wrecker had missed his brother. He was the only one who would admit it, but he was secretly glad that the sniper was back with them. Hunter was suspicious, Wrecker could tell, but then Hunter had been going crazy ever since Omega had disappeared.
Wrecker had been forced to sedate him once just to get him to rest. Hunter had taken a hint after that.
Sighing, Wrecker stood from his seat and exited the cockpit. He was met by an almost surreal sight upon entering the cabin.
Hunter was sat at the navi-computer, a ration bar in his hand; that filled Wrecker with relief. He hadn’t failed to notice the weight his brother had lost in the past six months (another thing he had constantly nagged him about). As it turned out, Omega had noticed too. She nibbled on her own ration bar, tear tracks clear on her face, glancing up at Hunter every now and then to make sure that her brother (father?) was in fact eating.
Crosshair was slumped in a chair further back and it became clear quite quickly that Hunter had given him two ration bars. Wrecker didn’t blame him, Crosshair looked as though he hadn’t eaten in weeks… maybe he hadn’t. Who were they to know?
The hound… Batcher, sat curled up at Crosshair’s feet and occasionally the sniper would reach down and scratch her ears. He always had been soft when it came to animals (not that he would ever admit it).
The group sat in silence, and it weighed heavily on all of them. Ration bars eaten, Hunter turned to Omega once more.
“Fancy the ‘fresher?” he asked, taking in her mud-stained face and dirty hair. She nodded, hissing as she stood and stretched. As she headed to the ‘fresher, she paused suddenly.
“I won’t have any clean clothes that fit,” she muttered, almost embarrassed. Hunter cringed. How could he have forgotten? Standing as well, he went to his bunk before rummaging around in his crate. Before long he fond what he was looking for and pulled it out.
“These’ll be on the big side, but they’re clean and warm,” he offered out a pair of his old blacks from when he was a cadet. Omega’s face lit up at the sight of them and she grabbed them before thanking him quickly and rushing into the ‘fresher. Before long the sound of water hissing through the pipes could be heard.
The silence that enveloped the three brothers now that Omega was gone felt even worse than before. Wrecker glanced as Hunter busied himself once more with the navi-computer; Crosshair made a point of looking around the ship, taking every tiny change since he had last been on board.
Their silence went on this way until the ‘fresher door hissed open once more and Omega bounded out.
She looked exhausted to put it lightly. Now that the dirt was gone from her face you could make out the dark circles under her eyes. When was the last time she had slept? Hunter mused to himself. He pushed that thought to one side as he glanced over at Crosshair.
“Your turn, if you want,” he said shortly. The sniper nodded curtly before standing and making his own way into the ‘fresher. He swooped by his old crate on the way and grabbed a set of blacks. He had no armour to wear with them currently, but anything would be better than the prison uniform and stolen clothes from Lau.
All of a sudden, Omega let out a loud yawn, making both Hunter and Wrecker chuckle.
“Bed time?” the sergeant suggested with a fond smile that he only ever reserved for her. She nodded, though their was an air of reluctance about her as she padded over to the gunner’s mount and started to climb the ladder. She turned froze in her tracks before scuttling back down and running over to Wrecker. She wrapped him in a quick hug, which he returned, before making her way to Hunter. Wrapping her arms around him as well, she mumbled something into his middle that only he could hear.
“Of course,” he replied, following her as she made her way back to the tower. Omega seemed more relaxed this time, scaling the ladder and clambering into her bedroll. Hunter climbed after her, perching on the edge of the gunner’s mount and reaching over to turn on the string of lights. Wrecker couldn’t help the smile that spread across his face as he shifted out of his seat and back into the cockpit. He could give the pair a little bit of privacy he supposed.
Hunter pulled Omega’s blanket up to her chin like he had done six months ago, before before everything had gone so horribly wrong. She smiled like she had done then, shuffling further into the blankets and holding Lula and Trooper close.
“Glad to have you back, kid,” Hunter eventually said, cursing internally as he heard his voice croak. Omega’s eyes filled with tears once more, but she smiled a watery smile.
“I don’t want to wake up and this all be a dream,” she whispered, a hint of fear in her voice; it broke Hunter’s heart that even though she was far away from wherever she was held captive, it was still haunting her.
“You don’t need to worry about going back there,” he soothed. “You’re back and we’re going home. That’s all we need to think about right now.” The sergeant stifled a yawn of his own, making Omega giggle.
“Maybe you should be getting sleep too,” she commented slyly. So her sense of humour had returned… that was a relief.
“Maybe I will,” Hunter replied, pulling face that made Omega giggle even more. She yawned all of a sudden, her eyes drooping as exhaustion took over again.
In a moment of bravery, Hunter swooped down and pressed a gentle kiss against Omega’s forehead.
“Missed ya, kid,” he said quietly as he began to climb back down the ladder. “Sleep well.”
Once he reached the bottom of the ladder, he reached up and turned the string of lights off before shutting the curtain to the gunner’s mount. Omega shuffled quietly before all movement stopped and her breathing began to even out. Within minutes she was sound asleep.
Hunter perched on his bunk, pondering over his own exhaustion; he wasn’t entirely sure when he last slept. Even though Wrecker was constantly nagging him and he tried his best to rest, sleeping had not come easily during Omega’s absence. Perhaps knowing that she was back and safe would help him relax, he pondered as he felt his eyes grow heavy.
Maybe he should stay awake just in case she needed him, he absently thought as his head began to feel warm and fuzzy, sleep inviting him in.
He wasn’t sure how long it took for him to fall asleep, but he was out cold and enjoying a dreamless sleep before too long.
——
Shuffling was the sound that woke him, and he shouldn’t have been surprised really. The Marauder had gone from having only two people on it to having five occupants, of course noise was going to be the thing that woke him up.
Hunter’s head felt foggy and if he didn’t know better, he’d think that he was hungover; realistically he knew that he only felt this way because he had been in a deep sleep after not resting for too long. He had every intention of rolling over and going back to sleep when another sound entered his consciousness.
A sniffle.
Who was crying? Now alert, the clone sat up as quietly as possible. If someone was upset he didn’t want to startle them. Hunter glanced around the dark cabin, glad for his enhanced sight as he did so. Crosshair was the first person he thought of, always one to hide his emotions until he was out from everyone’s watchful gaze. He glanced across at the sniper and was surprised to see him out cold, snoring lightly. He imagined this was the comfiest he had been in a long time, the safest he had felt in a long time… he was probably making the most of it.
Batcher was curled up underneath Crosshair’s bunk, also breathing heavily; of course Omega had managed to gain a put dog during her time imprisoned. Hunter didn’t really know why he was surprised.
He could also hear Wrecker’s familiar snores, which ruled out his other brother as the source of the crying sounds… which only left one person.
“Omega?” he whispered as he quietly climbed out of his bunk and padded across the cabin. He paused before pulling back the curtain, not wanting to intrude on her privacy. Another sniffle, frustrated and desperate made him forget privacy and he pulled the curtain to one side.
The little girl in question was indeed the one crying; she had fresh tear tracks on her face and a scowl across her features. Hunter glanced down at what she was holding, raising an eyebrow when he spotted her hair tie and… her hairbrush. Only her hairbrush was broken, a couple of the teeth missing.
Omega almost looked a little betrayed when she spotted Hunter, but that look left her quickly as her shoulders sagged and a small sob left her. He had been quick to react, taking in the whole situation quickly. Hunter lay two gentle hands over hers, prying the brush and the hair tie out of them.
“Having problems with your hair?” he asked, keeping his voice as neutral as possible. Judging from the broken brush and the scraggly dead hair still attached to the hair tie, she was having more than just ‘problems’ with he hair. She nodded, the offending hair falling around her face as she did so.
“It hurts to brush…” she trailed off in an ashamed whisper. “I thought I could just deal with it but the brush got stuck and I pulled it too hard.” Reaching back into her hair, Hunter could tell she was trying to find the missing teeth from the brush. “And then it broke,” she finished, her eyes filling with tears once more as she began to sniffle again.
Anger coarse through Hunter. He had spent time training Omega on how to look after he hair when she had been with them before, and it seemed as though she had just been neglected and handed a hair tie when she was dumped on Tantiss.
He didn’t let his anger show though, as he offered his arms out she she barrelled into them; he took a small step back to steady himself but caught her and gently pulled her down from the gunner’s mount. With her still in his arms, he carried her quietly through to the cockpit.
Once there, he set her down on one of the chairs. Crouching in front of her like he had when he promised she was never going back to Kamino, he held the sides of the chair and smiled reassuringly at her.
“Want my help?” he asked gently; he wasn’t going to push her into it, but he wanted to help her if he could… and hair was sort of one of his areas of expertise.
Thankfully, Omega nodded, and Hunter nodded before standing and setting to work find what he needed.
He could feel Omega’s eyes on him as he moved around the cockpit, looking for various things that would help him. Eventually he sat down in the chair opposite hers, comb, brush and spray bottle in hand. He gestured for her to turn around in her seat, and eventually she was sat facing the back of the chair. The sergeant examined the back of her head without touching it at first, not wanting to cause her more discomfort than he had to…
… he quickly realised that he had a long job ahead of him.
The top layer of Omega’s hair looked relatively well brushed, even if it had only been with her fingers, but when that was moved to one side, a clump about the size of his fist rested at the nape of her neck where her ponytail had been.
Hunter breathed in slowly, trying not to let on how angry he was at her captors. Taking the clump in his hand, he examined it; it was made up of matted knots, dead hair, dead skin, what looked like leaves and twigs and… the missing teeth of the hairbrush.
“Who did your hair on Tantiss?” he asked gently as he set down his tools and picked up the spray bottle.
“No one,” came the meek reply. “I tried to brush it with my fingers… but that only worked for so long. When it started getting too long, Emerie gave me a hair tie.”
Hunter made a mental note to ask about this Emerie later, but for now he turned his focus back to the task at hand. Once her hair was suitably wet, he put the spray bottle down and picked up the comb. As gently as possible he started to tease the knots out of the bottom of the clump, hoping that he didn’t pull out too much of her hair in the process.
Occasionally Omega would hiss in pain and Hunter would mutter an apology and offer her a break, but other than that the pair sat in comfortable silence as the night wore on. It wasn’t until it was nearly the third hour of Hunter working on her hair that she quietly piped up.
“You look tired,” she commented softly, playing with her hands as they lay in her lap. Hunter froze for a fraction of a second, but it was long enough for the little girl to notice. “You’ve been sleeping, right?”
Kriff, how was this kid so perceptive? Hunter considered how to respond before he realised that he’d left it too long and needed to think of something to say that wouldn’t worry her…
“It was… difficult to relax properly when we were trying to figure out where you were,” he eventually admitted, and Omega’s shoulders tensed.
That was an understatement, really. The truth was that Hunter had driven himself to the brink of exhaustion more times than he was comfortable with and Wrecker had been forced to sedate him at one point. He hadn’t been proud of that moment.
Now that he thought about it, he’d been acting like a mad man over the past six months, driven to crazy, risky actions by his grief and guilt. He really needed to apologise to Wrecker, who had bore the brunt of his pain-riddled temper. He could think of countless moments where he had dragged them into crazy plans that would have almost certainly ended in death had it not been for Wrecker’s sensible thinking.
Omega didn’t say anything for a while, almost seeming to sense his guilt. Just when Hunter thought that she wasn’t going to say anything else at all, she suddenly spoke again.
“You should get some sleep,” she replied lightly, but he could hear the worry in her voice. He almost laughed; he should be the one worrying about her, not the other way around.
“I will once we’re back on Pabu,” he responded, only for Omega’s shoulders to tense up again. She wiggled her head away from Hunter’s grasp and turned to face her brother.
“You need to sleep.” she had a frown on her face now, her arms crossed and an eyebrow raised. Hunter knew that face; that was the face he used to use to get her to go to bed.
“Omega…” he sighed, resting his arms down by his sides. Sure he had been dead to the world before her crying had woken him, but he had been due a power nap. Now he’d probably be able to stay awake all the way through the rest of their journey.
The little girl wasn’t having any of that, it seemed.
“You’re going to sleep as soon as we’re done here.” It was an order, not a suggestion and the child nodded before turning around once more and allowing him to resume his work.
“Sir, yes sir,” Hunter grumbled as he picked up the comb once more.
——
An hour or so later, and Hunter was working through the last of the knots. Omegas’ hair would need another wash and brush in the morning, but it shouldn’t be anywhere near as difficult or lengthy a process.
“You’re all good, kid,” he said; his voice croaked slightly with exhaustion and his eyes felt heavy again. Maybe a kip would do him some good…
… there was no response from Omega, and Hunter realised that she had dozed off in the chair as he’d been brushing her hair. He sighed and tried to gently manoeuvre her out of the position, only for her to suddenly yelp and start thrashing.
“NO!” she cried, eyes snapping open, but not focusing. “I won’t go back there! Hunter!” Omega collapsed in a heap as Hunter tried grasp her before she hit the floor. Taking a few shuddering breaths, she seemed to realise just where she was and glanced around the cockpit of the ship. Upon spotting Hunter, she lunged for him wrapping her trembling arms around him and refusing to let him go. He was forced to crouch down to her level, joining her on the floor of the cockpit as he held her close; she clambered into his lap allowing him to wrap his arms around her fully and whisper soothing words into her hair.
Eventually, when her breathing had evened out a little more, he glanced down at the child. She was clinging to his blacks, her head nestled into his chest in a way that he’d never really held her before. Sure, she’d given him hugs that he’d awkwardly tried to return in the past but this new sense of closeness was alien to him. Alien and yet it felt as though it should have been this way all along.
“I don’t want this to be fake,” she whispered hoarsely. “I don’t want to wake up and be back there and be faced with another day in that place.”
Hunter nodded before resting his chin on the top of her head.
“You’re safe, ad’ika,” he replied. He’d learned the term from Tech, who had teased him once about how Omega had seemed more like a daughter than a sister.
Omega froze in his embrace and glanced up at him. She knew what it meant, clearly, from the look in her eyes. They shone with yet more unshed tears but instead of a sad look on her face, the ghost of a smile crossed her features.
“You really mean that?” she asked. Hunter blanched, but nodded, trying to remain calm. People had always mistaken him for Omega’s father and he had spent so long denying that he was… it had only been since her disappearance that he had come to terms with the fact:
Omega was his kid.
There was no denying it now, the girl knew what he thought and now all he had to do was wait for her rejection. What was he thinking? He couldn’t be a father to her, he couldn’t promise to keep her safe when he’d lost her.
He was drawn out of his spiral by arms being thrown around his neck.
“I’m glad you do,” she whispered just loudly enough for him to hear, and Hunter found that he was having to blink back tears. Omega pulled away from the hug and smiled at him before a large yawn practically split her face in two. Hunter chuckled.
“Tired?” he asked, and she nodded, though a look of fear passed over her face. Hunter frowned; he never wanted to see his little girl look scared again if he could help it.
“Omega?” he asked, concern laving his voice. The child chewed her bottom lip nervously.
“I…” she trailed off, running her hand through he newly brushed hair. “I don’t want to be on my own,” she said quietly, looking a little embarrassed. Hunter nodded and briefly paused before scooping her up and carrying her back into the cabin. He set her down on his bunk gently before crouching down and putting the hairbrush and spray bottle away.
“You could always stay her tonight?” he suggested, glancing up at his kid. She nodded keenly before shuffling back on the bunk and pressing herself against the wall of the cabin. Hunter ditched the last of his armour before clambering into the bunk himself, pulling the blankets over them both.
The pair shuffled for a moment, adjusting to sharing a bunk designed for one person, but before long Omega was cuddled against her father figure, a handful of his blacks clutched tightly in her grip. Her breathing began to slow as she eased into a (hopefully) deep sleep, but before she did she whispered something just you enough for Hunter to hear.
“Night, buir.”
So Tech had been teaching Omega some Mando’a too, it seemed. Hunter’s breath caught in his throat as he heard the term, but smiled at the warmth that spread through him
“G’night, ad’ika.”
He knew in that moment, that as long as he had his little girl, he could face down anything else that happened to their family unit. Anything at all.
——
Weeks later, he was sore and exhausted as he searched the rubble of Tantiss, desperately searching for signs of Omega. The last thing any of them had been expecting was for the Zillo beast to break loose and collapse the mountain-base. It had made swift work of the labs before running off in search of more chaos to cause… leaving the survivors to search the rubble.
Echo had caught up with them not long ago, battered and bruised but very much alive. He had dragged a bedraggled scientist with him (Hunter learned that this was Emerie), claiming that the pair of them had been trying to free Omega and the other children (others?!) in the vault before the chaos had begun.
The squad were frantically pulling apart the rubble in search of any sign that the children were alive when Emerie let out a pained gasp. Hunter’s head shot up and he ran over to where the woman was standing.
In her hands she was holding what he could only describe as a straw version of Lula, dirty and coming apart…
“This belonged to Eva,” Emerie stammered as she looked around. Hunter realised that this must be one of the children’s names. If Eva was buried under this pile of rubble, maybe Omega could be too. The pair of them crouched and began to dig at the rubble that surrounded the area. Hunter could feel the tears filling his eyes as they got deeper. What if she wasn’t here? What if, after only just realising that he was in fact Omega’s father, he was going to have that ripped away from him?
“Buir!”
Hunter’s head shot up. He yanked his helmet off, looking around as he tried to place the voice. Suddenly, there she was. She was filthy, covered from head to toe in dust and dirt, but she was grinning as though she had just won a prize.
He wasted no time running towards her, vaguely registering the other children that she was stood with. They looked a little startled as Hunter swept Omega into his arms and held her close.
He burst into tears as he held her, gripping onto her like his life depended on it.
“Omega,” he uttered through ragged breaths, relishing in the fact that his little girl held him close.
“Buir,” she replied softly, her own voice thick with emotion. He set her down before holding her at arm’s length and checking her over.
“Are you okay?” he asked almost frantically, looking her up and down. “Are you hurt anywhere?”
She shook her head, tears still streaming down her cheeks. This reminded him so much of when she had found them the first time around.
“It’s over,” she choked out, and Hunter nodded, glancing at the rubble around them.
“It’s over,” he soothed as he pulled her back into a hug.
——
The Marauder was gone. A new ship had taken it’s place, provided by Rex and his men as they turned up to evacuate the Batch, Emerie, the children and any surviving clones. Hunter and Emerie had both agreed to help the children find their homes again, seeing as Eva and Sami couldn’t recall their home planets (they had been so young when they’d been taken) and Jax knew the planet name but couldn’t remember the town. Barryn had no way of communicating his home planet, which presented its own challenge.
The Firebird, their new ship, was… very full at the moment. It had two bunk rooms, unlike the Marauder, and one of those had been allocated to the kids whilst they were staying on board. The other was slept in by Hunter and his brothers. Emerie opted to sleep in the common room, still wary and unsure of her newfound freedom. No one questioned it.
That night, Wrecker was on watch when Hunter heard the soft patter of feet across the short hallway to the cabin he was currently sharing with Crosshair and Echo. He rolled his eyes fondly, knowing exactly who was coming in.
The door hissed open only to reveal Omega stood in Hunter’s blacks (still too big for her) and shivering in the cold night air. She crept across the room to Hunter’s bunk, where he rolled over and shifted, moving the blanket so that she could climb in. Omega still opted to wedge herself between Hunter and the wall of the room, holding not his blacks like they were a lifeline. He pulled her close, pressing a kiss to her forehead as the pair of them drifted into a light sleep.
“Love you, buir.”
“Love you too, ad’ika. Sweet dreams.”
Who knew how long their ship would be more like a boarding house for tiny Jedi, but Hunter couldn’t care less. He would offer to house and feed all of the kids in the universe as long as he got to see his little girl smiling and happy each day.
#the bad batch#sw tbb#tbb omega#tbb hunter#tbb wrecker#tbb tech#tbb echo#tbb crosshair#sw tbb spoilers#fluff#tbb fanfiction#tbb fic#hurt/comfort#emotional#good parent hunter#parental hunter#hunter is omega’s dad#hair brushing#tbb season 3#tbb season 3 spoilers#emerie karr#tbb emerie#tbb eva#tbb jax#tbb sami#tbb bayrn
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Argenti Fluff Alphabet!
Inspired by the NSFW Alphabet by @fairy-tail-babes.
Feel free to use for your own writing Blogs!
A ctivities - What do they like to do with their s/o? How do they spend their free time with them?
Argenti spends his free time to take care of you both physically and mentally. He loves to praise, cuddle and protect them. Always make sure that you feel happy when you are with him.
B eauty - What do they admire about their s/o? What do they think is beautiful about them?
He loves to admire everything about you. Your face, body and attitude. Everything about you is beautiful for him. Argenti never stop praising you.
C omfort - How would they help their s/o when they feel down/have a panic attack etc.?
He is good at comforting you.
“Shhh…My dear please let me comfort you.” Argenti pulls you closer to his chest. “What happened? Do you want to talk? If you don’t want to it’s alright. You can cry. Let it all out. I am here for you. I never leave you my love.” He rubs your head softly and kiss your forehead. “You will get better soon. My beautiful. Please be relax in my embrace” Argenti rubs your back softly.
D reams - How do they picture their future with their s/o?
He wants to travel space and finds Idrila with you. He will support and take care of you forever.
E qual - Are they the dominant one in the relationship, or rather passive?
He can be dominant one or passive. It depend on you want him to be. Even he is dominant, he never push you into anything. He also follow your wishes too. When he is passive he is a good follower.
F ight - Would they be easy to forgive their s/o? How are they fighting?
Be the first one to apologize whether he is wrong or not and always forgives you. He prefer to talk to fix the situation over fight.
G ratitude - How grateful are they in general? Are they aware of what their s/o is doing for them?
He always says “Thank you” or praises you a lot for do something for him. Even though the things that you did for him is just a little but he always remember and appreciate everything you did.
H onesty - Do they have secrets they hide from their s/o? Or do they share everything?
Argenti is straightforward person. He never keep his secrets from you. He trusts you and shares everything to you. He never lie.
I nspiration - Did their s/o change them somehow, or the other way around? Like trying out new things or helped them overcome personal problems?
He learned a lot about your planet. How he should live or behave on this planet with you. He appreciated that you help him solve the problems a lot and he will repay you with his kindness and treat you like a prince/princess.
J ealousy - Do they get jealous easily? How do they deal with it?
Argenti rarely feel jealous. He is always understanding you. If he feels jealous. He will just ignore it.
K iss - Are they a good kisser? What was the first kiss like?
He would ask your consent first. (What a gentleman) His kiss is loving, soft and passionate. He is a good kisser. Never too rough or making you feel uncomfortable.
L ove Confession - How would they confess to their s/o?
When he feels his heart beating so hard when he is with you. He will confess his feelings for you. How much he adores and love you. His feelings are genuine.
M arriage - Do they want to get married? How do they propose? What would the marriage be like?
He will dream of marrying you one day but if you don’t want to it’s alright. He always lives with you until his last breath anyway. Your marriage are full of roses and luxury decorations. He did it just to impress you.
N icknames - What do they call their s/o?
My rose, my love, my dear and Sweetheart.
O n Cloud Nine - What are they like when
they are in love? Is it obvious for others? How do they express their feelings?
He will express his feelings directly to you that he loves you so much. He always treat you well.
P DA - Are they upfront about their relationship? Do they brag with their s/o in front of others? Or are they rather shy to kiss etc. when others are watching?
Argenti will praise you in front of others but when you two show affection. He prefer to do in private. (He is a knight so he won’t do anything too affectionate in front of people)
Q uirk - Some random ability they have that’s beneficial in a relationship.
Argenti loves to do your hair. He is also a very clean person himself. He might clean your body too.
R omance - How romantic are they? What would they do to make their s/o happy? Cliché or rather creative?
Argenti is romantic lover. He can be both cliché and creative but he wants you to tell him how to make you happy. He likes to surprise you.
S upport - Are they helping their s/o achieve their goals? Do they believe in them?
Argenti is always support and believe in them 1000000% He also help them to achieve their goals and praises while they doing it.
T hrill - Do they need to try out new things to spice out your relationship? Or do they prefer a certain routine?
Argenti would like to spice out by taking you ride his spaceship and travel around the universes.
U nderstanding - How good do they know their partner? Are they empathetic?
He knows about you a lot. He always let you speak what’s in your mind without judging. He never being mean to you. Always empathetic and understanding.
V alue - How important is the relationship to them? What is it’s worth in comparison to other things in their life?
You are a beauty of his life. You always make him feel happy. He always feel grateful and lucky to have you in his life. You are everything to him
W ild Card - A random Fluff Headcanon.
He doesn’t mind when you tease him. He also likes it and laugh but he rarely teases you.
X OXO - Are they very affectionate? Do they love to kiss and cuddle?
Argenti is very affectionate and likes to touch you soft but firm. He loves to kiss, hug and cuddle for relief his or your stress. He would do everything you want him to do. Just say it.
Y earning - How will they cope when they’re missing their partner?
He will thinking about you all the times you left. Sometimes he messages you that he misses you a lot when you are on work.
Z eal - Are they willing to go to great lenghts for the relationship? If so, what kind of?
Argenti would dedicated his life for you just like his aeon. Would sacrifice his life for you. Never leave you. His loyalty is very strong. Argenti is a perfect lover.
#argenti x reader#argenti fluff#argenti x you#honkai star rail argenti#Honkai star rail#Honkai star rail x reader#Honkai star rail x you#hsr fluff#hsr x reader#hsr x you#Honkai star rail fluff#hsr argenti x reader#hsr argenti#I love him I wish he is real
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What do you think lupin needs in a romantic partner to have a functioning/healthy relationship (as healthy as this man can manage atleast)? What qualities would this person have to have to be able to deal with all the more challenging aspects of being in a relationship with him? But also what does he want in a partner? And what would he absolutely not want?
Me. I am perfect. Remus Lupin hmu
Remus Romantic Partner pt1: Remus is needy
Link to pt2: Remus is good (aint done it yet sorry)
In short:
Remus Lupin needs an ANCHOR POINT to harbor his ship.
1. Someone interesting he can pour his attention into.
2. Generally up-beat/optimistic, so he has warmth to lean on.
3. Bold enough to be themselves - even if they're different.
4. Kind and accepting of other people
5. A little 'cute'. 'Quirky'. Small 'issues' support. (just a bonus, really)
6. Independent. Can live without him just fine but still want him.
7. Emotionally strong. Immense maturity and stability.
8. Doesn't have much temper, doesn't start drama or fights.
Of course he doesn't need ALL of these boxes ticked - but the highlighted ones are the closest to a MUST for the relationship to even have a chance at being healthy.
In long:
Explanations (and example characters who I think fit) are below. B^)
Remus is an introverted man. He isn't shy (he can take charge of a room, he can speak publicly, he is good at getting people to like him) but when he isn't the focus he is a wall-flower. He doesn't talk much unless he has something to say.
He is deeply, irreparably self-conscious. He has trauma of unintentionally hurting those he loves, so he keeps his distance.
((His parents became sick with the stress of having to move house every few months, find new work every few months, keeping their bank account drained... socially isolated with a son they had to lock away every Full Moon - lest he killed them.
They loved him but that was a difficult thing for Remus to grow up witnessing, knowing he was the cause. Knowing him leaving for Hogwarts was the best thing to happen for their health since he was bitten... Of course he pushes people away.
He can't help being sick - but he can help them not suffer... if he stays away.))
He is always thinking inwardly. He is always anxious. He wonders how he can make himself smaller, friendlier, less scary… Trying to plan how he wants others to relate to him. He tries to control how others think of him, to steer them away from the bad things...
He is a wolf in wizards clothing. If he treats everyone as dolls to manipulate, and if they never know the real him... it will hurt everyone less when he leaves.
1. He needs someone who can bust him out of that toxic mindset. Someone that grabs his attention and pulls it away from himself.
Someone interesting, skilled, passionate - living a life he can't achieve. Someone with knowledge or stories he can listen to at length and live a little through them... or they can even include him.
More of a talker so he can be a listener, so he can focus on someone else's world - but they're also eager to hear whatever he has to say without prying. They aren't arrogant or loud: they can listen, too.
Remus needs good, witty conversation over a cup of tea.
2. They need to be generally up-beat, but not in a way that'll crush his down-beat. They invite him to join in if he wants - or else lean on them like they're a heater for his troubled soul while he feels down.
Sometimes he will feel bad, or flat, or tired - and they can't fix it.
I don't think he has any visual preferences. What he notices first about people are their mannerisms. He is always shaping himself to fit the room, so I think he admires people who act authentically: Boldness. Bravery. Honesty. Earnestness. Brashness.
So...
3. He would be more attracted to people of subcultures and/or strong interests - or are simply out-of-the-expected-norm.
I think he would be fascinated about these little nooks of belonging - alternate 'normal's' when the Wizarding world can be so rigid.
(Do I think he has a preference for LGBTQIA+? Yeah. General androgyny too.)
4. Kind. Accepting. They need to be kind to others in general.
Because he can't always be kind to others. He puts himself first and sometimes that hurts because he WANTS to be more kind.
A partner who can pick up the slack? Who he can trust to always be kind and accepting of him - because they are such a way with everyone...? That's just a requirement, really.
5. A small thing I think he likes in particular: A cute factor.
A little clumsy, A little slow, Enthusiastic, Awkward, Weak, A bit short/tall... something that isn't an issue but will pop up every now and then, distract him and make him go '...cute. That was cute.'
Something he can effortlessly support. Something he can be thoughtful about, thinking of their needs rather than his own.
- They struggle to read quickly? He can read out loud for them.
- They tend to act impulsively? He can hold them back just enough to let them to give it a second thought.
- They struggle in social situations? So he can talk on their behalf.
- They keep fumbling and tripping over? He can keep them steady.
It's nice to feel useful and kind in a simple, effortless way.
Something so obvious to proves he isn't bad at heart - even when he feels awful.
6. They need to be Independent. What he CAN'T have is someone who NEEDS him. Oh god, the pressure… He cant be trapped.
He requires a high level of independence... because he WILL FAIL.
He WILL leave and break their heart over nothing.
He WILL make promises he doesn't intend to keep - because he intends to run away and never look back.
If they NEED him, just to stay afloat…? It will break him.
He can't be the bread-winner, even if he could have a stable job.
He can't be a long-term emotional support, only short-term.
He needs to know that WHEN he breaks down and fucks off not 'if' - even if it's FOREVER… that they will be okay without him.
'Not being ok without him' won't make him stay.
He will not 'shape up under a bit of pressure'. It will only injure him.
7. He needs someone strong enough to be forgiving.
Not a self-harming, forcing yourself to forgive-and-forget either.
That is a very real danger with Remus: If he got with someone who was as much a people-pleasing self-depreciator as him…? He will tear them to shreds.
He is a toxic man and he requires tough gloves to handle:- Genuinely emotionally strong. Someone he can lean on, far more than they lean on him.
- Wise enough to see through his bullshit manipulations and lies - with enough tact to navigate them, understanding he struggles without judgement but holding him gently accountable.
- Empathetic enough to understand him even when he can't explain himself properly.
- Mature enough to hold him accountable. Can help him understand how he can do better. He is filled with shame - sometimes for very good reasons that need addressing.
He will go through periods of being unable to be contacted, periods of self-endangerment…
He needs somewhere, someone, he can crawl back to in shame.
Who WILL talk with him seriously about things… but is willing to just let him sleep quietly for the night in their arms, for now.
(Am I saying he needs to date a therapist? Yeah, basically. Dating Remus isn't easy.)
8. Doesn't start fights. Doesn't lash out. Doesn't live off of drama.
Remus fits himself into situations passively - he doesn't need someone making situations more difficult to feel comfortable in.
If they get angry and yell at him - he will yell one hurtful thing back and leave. He has a very limited ability withstand tension.
He tries to keep a level head and a level room - he needs a partner who will support those efforts, or at least not sabotage them.
Partners I think have good chemistry, for examples:
NYMPHADORA TONKS.
It is annoying how perfectly she has been made to fit Remus' needs, as she is so underutilized. I wouldn't find her as frustrating if she got more fleshing out in ways that weren't the specific things suited to being with Remus… ugh.
- She is a skilled Auror, especially for her age.
- She lightens the mood of any room by being playful.
- She is unapologetic in being herself, accepting people with ease.
- She is a bit clumsy - but capable and hugely independent.
- Her ability to roll with the punches is insane: every time Remus is hot-and-cold she has both the ability to hold him responsible for how much it hurts and the strength to still stand there for him.
- She is firey and doesn't back down, but she isn't trying to start fights. She's just stubborn and confident in what she has to say.
To make claims like 'Remus only likes her because she can shapeshift' or whatever is just... no, its because she is perfect for him.
LUNA LOVEGOOD.
Surprising, I know. Perhaps in different circumstances they could have hit it off.
- Strong interests, a subculture at the edge of Wizarding society yet she is always 'uniquely' and brazenly herself.
- Optimistic and up-beat... a little dreamy, air-headed, focus could use some steering sometimes.
- Helpful and kind to all, even those that have been mean to her.
- Very used to being alone. Independent in body and soul. Quite comfortable being alone - but friends are nice, too.
- Emotional strength is a specialty of hers. Even in the worst situations she keeps her head on her shoulders and, despite how aloof she appears, is intelligent, sharp and serious.
- Can make demands when she needs to - not a pushover.
Bonus: An interest in magical creatures, too. :)
Close, but I think have a large flaw (that might makes them spicy):
SEVERUS SNAPE
- Potions Master. Dark Arts specialist. Veteran teacher. All the steady employment and deep, fascinating interests Remus wishes he could have - along with ALSO having been a Spy... and being misunderstood. They have more in common than they don't.
- He isn't optimistic, but he is a problem solver, dedicated to making things better than they are. He faces problems head on while Remus would rather curl away.
- He understands feeling quiet and low. He might not be warm, but he is a softer place to rest than you'd expect.
- He has never changed himself for anyone. He is stubbornly himself, even when it makes him seem like an outcast weirdo.
- He has little patience. He isn't gentle or nice. But he cares enough to be kind, even to those he hates... and he is loyal.
It isn't ideal for Remus but it gives him a place to fit himself:
If Severus is cold, he is warm.
If Severus has the quirk of being a snarky, prickly bastard - Remus is skilled at the opposite.
- Independent. Accustomed to being alone. Expects to be alone.
Being with someone who understands him... a little daunting, really.
The main place I think Severus fails here is emotional strength.
He is quick to anger and lashes out. He holds grudges.
He starts shit and Remus can't handle shit.
Severus needs someone who can temper those anger flares, or at least weather them - and Remus can do neither.
But perhaps that is the place they can meet in the middle...?
LILY EVANS
- Everyone liked her. Talented, bright and strong-willed, She was a popular girl. I think Remus liked her too, but... James and Severus.
- She seems a bit cheeky, quick witted - she brightens a room when she walks in.
- She was best friends with Severus for years. Maybe she had other friends in her dorm - but if they were as close to her as Severus was, they would have been HIS friends, too.
She was willing to be with the outcast, even when popular.
- I know it's a movie quote, but I think it still fits from Remus' POV when he says Lily was an 'uncommonly kind woman' and 'had a way of seeing the beauty in others when that person cannot see it themselves.' I think she accepted him fast and firmly.
- She didn't need anyone else. She stood up to James by herself. She knew what she was worth.
- She seems to prefer ending fights rather than starting them. She hates a bully.
Lily doesn't have the 'grit' (for lack of a better word) to take toxicity.
She hated James' bullying. She dropped Severus. She has patience and an 'I can help fix him' desire - but they need to put in the effort, too. James cleaned up his act somewhat and she liked that.
Remus isn't going to fully succeed at 'fixing' himself. Not just by 'putting some effort in'. It is going to take so long, and be so slow...
Severus would be far easier to 'I can help fix him' - and she couldn't handle him.
!!!This isn't saying Lily is weak or something. It is incredibly HEALTHY to not being able to put up with toxic shit, to have the strength to say 'enough is enough'. That is a GOOD thing.!!!
A popular partner I DON'T think works out so easily:
SIRIUS BLACK
Sirius Black is a dog. He needs people.
He needs constant companionship - especially after Azkaban. He is a mess who needs support, company, loyalty... and Remus can't provide any of that with regularity!
Waking up in an empty bed, in a cold room, after Remus timidly promised to 'always be there' for him but was lying... it would shatter Sirius.
He doesn't have the strength or stability to lose anyone else.
Sirius is honest and sticks to his guns even when times get tough. He would rather DIE than turn his back on a loved one.
Remus lies unprovoked and runs away with his tail between his legs at the slightest sign of trouble.
Sirius, as a traumatized man, is not going to be able to understand why Remus can just throw away everything he has to run off.
How he could just leave him alone again...? Doesn't he love him?!
At his worst: he is more likely to try and emotionally trap Remus with him, force him to stay - and that just isn't going to work.
Remus is a Wolf. He can't be locked in.
I don't even think Sirius at his best, pre-Azkaban, would fit well:
- He is upbeat, but in a way that tries to break others out of their funks. It's abrasive for him to hang out with someone sad.
((I'm sure he could learn to do it but his instinct is to help.))
- He is kind - but he has a limit. When that limit is passed, his care is snapped. He holds grudges and he makes judgements.
- He is not and has never been independent. He is strong-willed and confident about himself, yes - but he thrives when he is at another's side. He has always been like this Azkaban just made it worse.
- He doesn't have what it takes to weather Remus' bullshit.
That's not a bad thing either, he know how to cut toxic people from his life when they are too heavy - but post-Azkaban he is even more scared of losing people, which makes him vulnerable.
- He starts shit. He jumps into arguments, he escalates, he enjoys the thrill and the drama of it. Remus wouldn't join in, even if he agrees with Sirius, and thus would leave him unsupported.
We see this very thing happen in OotP
#love you remus#remus lupin#remus my beloved#hp#severus snape#sirius black#lily evans#headcannons#nymphadora tonks
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day 30 - videogame (undertale, fnaf, etc)
somebody get this man some chapstick
#(voice of a guy who’s desperately trying to not give in and watch the movie for the third time in a row) So how’s everyone doing#i haven’t drawn mike in like 5 months this is simply unacceptable. unsustainable#he could fix everything that’s wrong with the world#i have once again changed his design but it’s ok#but yeah as you can see i am very interested with the concept of mike adjusting to living in human society as a weird alive corpse thing#fuuuuckkk AUEJGHHHH i seriously do like movie mike so much i think he and game mike can live in peace and harmony#something so awful is happening to me and it’s past midnight i should NOT be allowed to think aboht my favorite characters#myart#cringetober 2023#michael afton#mike schmidt#fnaf#five nights at freddy's#can anybody hear me. help. help. MICHAELLLL DONT LEAVE ME HERE UEHGH OUGH MICHAELLLLLLLLLLLLLLLL
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[Mii Maker Music]
!!Find the palette in this thread!!
#my art stuff#beetlejuice#cartoon#toonjuice#digital art#bugs#emoji#I made my own brush for the bugs so I can use them in the future#I’m trying to make art more enjoyable for myself and that means making it much less complicated and take less time#so I’m hoping to use this brush more in the future when drawing beej#or things in general#I’m getting better at lightning the weight I put on myself with my art#but it’s an upphills battle and I am STRUGGLING#I’ve been using this eene inker randomly for a while now and it’s making art so much easier to do for me somehow#but it looks so disgusting in my art. not cus it’s an ugly brush. I think it’s really nice-looking actually#but I have such a strong need for all my art to look clean and for every line to be intentionally put where it is#I have a tendancy to go in and fix singular pixels in EVERYTHING when I draw. even if just to make it intentionally look unintentional#but this brush does it on it’s own and I haven’t felt this relaxed while making digital art in MANY years and it’s STRESSING ME OUT#but it’s good that I can relax. That’s the goal. I want to be able to rnjoy drawing again.#The biggest hurdle is my autism hating change but once I’m past that I know I’ll be right as rain#in the meantime I hope people can still enjoy what little stuff I mannage to crank out randomly#also don’t ask me what the style is. my hand just went off with the “whatever just get it down real quick” mentality#I really need to draw the sweetheart more… I say when he is all I draw besides myself anymore-
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i know too fucking much about qsmp badboyhalo.
#and also. not enough#that one big summary of his Deal was like . 1k words.#and it brushed over so much shit#like his trust issues and the vacation arc and his criminal background (on qsmp) and the way he was the first to take protecting the#eggs seriously and i dont even KNOW enough about his relationship with maxo and the french that is a big blindspot for me but bad and max#(and foolish?) og founders of the theory bros the first people who started questioning cucurucho and then the french his family the people#who keep proving to be on his side over and over and i love it when he hangs out with pierre and talks create#and when he chills with antoine and helps fix the big spinning ring#and his WEIRD warrior's bond with etoiles (bad always gets along with the protectors have you noticed that#forever was the second big egg protector and baghera took care of pomme from the start and cellbit threw himself to the feds to try to help#the island and etoiles took the weight of the code attacks from bad's shoulders to his own in entirety. he respects them all a lot and i am#chewing him to pieces)#and his relationship with baghera!!!! she can read him so so well and he fucking trusts her enough to be dapper's mom#he may have felt weird about it and was jealous and :c because tahts HIS dapper but#he didn't kill her about it#or really do anything to discourage it#and he noticed her tear streaks and her leg and got Worried about the federation 'fixing' her and#genuinely he was so so happy when he realized she was back he went !!! mode#look. LOOK at these fucking tags. look back at the post. i can Keep Talking.#my point remains i know too fucking much about qsmp badboyhalo#shit and i didn't even TALK about his weird bullshit with foolish#i need a giant corkboard
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hey that's not supposed to be out there (uploaded wrong version at first haha whoops)
#not supposed to be that color either#i wonder who that belongs to#i had a very vague meaning for this in mind but saying it would spoil the fun#christ this took me forever#i wanted to do a quick project to give myself a break from my final#but accidentally made an entirely new kind of nightmare#BUT i can proudly say that i am very proud of this despite how long it took me#alrighty this blog is all about tracking progress so my thought on this;#it's not really as energetic as i had hoped to make it so i think that's the biggest technical issue i have with this#i'll try to get back to doing more gestures soon as a way to help with that#i think my shadows are a bit confusing too#i'm looking at it now and his glasses kinda taper off into the void of his fur bc i didnt mark the shadow along the left of his ear#but the thought of digging back through layers to fix it and blending that mess in is giving me a headache so i'm content with leaving it#i think i learned a lot about light and reflections though#my shadows aren't the greatest but i had so much fun rendering the glasses#and the glow of the soul pushed me to think about bounce light a lot more#figuring out how to make the colors look like they were glowing was a whole separate issue#i did it in the last big ralsei drawing i did but not nearly to this extent#i won't be doing something this large for a while after this but i'll keep trying to work on the things i didn't like about this#i think i'm gonna start putting my self-crit in the tags from now on#it really does bulk up the posts and it's hard to scroll past#i like reflecting on my work like this though#i've been able to draw a lot more since i've started doing it because it helps me create specific goals for myself#lets me keep pushing myself while still having fun with my art#ralsei#deltarune#deltarune fanart
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The thing about Crowley is that he already tried fighting* the system and the end result was his fellow rebels making a new system suspiciously similar to the old system with torture pits and demotivational posters in place of the aggressive hypocrisy and kardashiancore interior decorating. And then after that he decided to fight the apocalypse and the apocalypse thwarted itself with minimal involvement required from him. His biggest contribution was fucking up a simple handoff completely accidentally. His apparent belief that it'll all sort itself out without him or it won't and either way his involvement will be largely irrelevant to everyone but himself is pretty well founded. I'm sure by the end of season three he'll have learned a valuable lesson about how admitting that you want to make positive contributions to the world is something you can do on your own terms and not simply an exercise in opening yourself up to god's preordained judgement and hell's torture pits and but he's old and tired and has probably never been kissed let him have a very specific vision for his retirement.
*ok his version of fighting was probably just asking a lot of very annoying questions and then semi-accidentally joining a rebellion.
#good omens#also while I am being a bit rude Aziraphale wasn't exactly like gosh how wonderful I can go back#and fix everything his response as a tea drinker was#there's no coffee in heaven I'm not going until the metatron told him there could be Crowley in heaven and then he got very exited#I don't think he was thinking about the apocalypse in anything but the most general terms until#the metatron mentioned the second coming to him#do not get it twisted he wants to make a difference he's very excited for systemic reform he believes that things can be better!#but like. he got giddy for standing in the light of god's love with his not-boyfriend he was picturing an eternity of Crowley and thinking#that he could live without sushi#and Sondheim if he could have that#he's down horrendous he's just also delusional about his favourite person's feelings and perspective#tbh I think this is interesting specifically because Aziraphale had very much not made his save the world with me pitch yet#Crowley did it in season one#Crowley also knows the angels are gunning hard for the apocalypse again during their big fight but doesn't bring it up#Aziraphale knows in general terms they'll probably try again but it's not really on his mind#come to heaven with me isn't save the world with me and I think that's what he'll be going for in Season three
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sasori @ the entire akatsuki:
(it’s what he wants for his birthday.)
based on this:
#just wanted to do something quick for the ultimate blorbo's bday#i am so sick rn i can;t see and i fell asleep twice while trying to draw this god help me#naruto#sasori#oh god and the election today help HELP#i considered posting other sasori art i already had but it's so rough and strange it probably woudn't make much sense#i dont even remember what my art tag is i'll fix it later i;m fallign asleep
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Case file #101: Adam Taurus
Race: Faunus
Nationality: Atlas
Ethnicity: Mantlecean
Weapon: Wilt & Blush (note: resembles a SDC weapon prototype that was stolen about 5 years ago. The blade stores kinetic energy that is then released in the form of harsh destruction rays.)
Gender: Man
Sexuality: Gynephiliac (This information was obtained from a double agent in Menagiere)
Current Age: 21
Aura Color: Red
Handedness: Right
Complexion: Pale
Eye Color: Pale blue
Faunus trait: Bull horns (Adam has both the strength and Endurance of a Bull, according to reports.)
Occupation: White Fang Vale branch leader
Previous Occuppation: White Fang Black ops commander (Classified)
13 years ago, Adam Taurus (note: last name constructed) became the subject of a world known, yet private court case against the SDC where a brand over his left eye was used as evidence of several claims of Faunus workplace abuse. The accusers in the court case were the two leaders of the White Fang, Ghira Bête & Sienna Khan. The White Fang won the court case and an anti neo-slavery bill was passed throughout Atlas-Mantle as a result. Adam, who had recently lost his mother at the time and was a still a minor, was adopted by Sienna Khan who took him to Menagiere.
... unfortunately, 5 years ago Ghira and his wife Kali Bête were assasinated at a Faunus rally somewhere in rural Sanus. They survive by their only daughter, Blake Bête. Since then, the White Fang has cultivated a [CLASSIFIED] organization under the leadership of Sienna Khan. The leaders of the White Fang under Sienna include Adam (Vale branch leader) and Fennec & Corsac Albain (Religous leaders). Attempts by the White Fang to establish an Atlas branch have been stopped by the council (note: countinue to stop them. watch all WF gatherings in Atlas).
WARNING: ONLY MEMBERS WITH LV.5 CLARENCE ARE ALLOWED TO READ BELOW
The White Fang has a Black Ops organization being used to carry out robberies and assasinations in all of Renment. The leader of the Black Ops is Adam Taurus, with Illia Amitola (note: needs a case file) and Blake Bête (has carried out 8 known assasinations on Faunus hate groups, currently missing, needs a case file) as sub commanders. All three serve as de-facto leaders of the White Fang in the event Sienna Khan is killed (note: Do NOT assasinate Sienna Khan, it will lead to race riots. Limit anti White Fang activity to covert operations).
Adam is wanted for the murders of 64 individuals in Atlas, all of whom are connected to the SDC (note: at least 20 were family members). If spotted, do NOT kill him, he is to be captured alive under all circumstances. Allow him to flee if he cannot be captured.
[The writing below is a transcript from a page recovered from a mansion attacked by the White Fang. It is believed to come from Adam Taurus, written by him and then stabbed to the wall.]
"...your father is a white demon. He told me he loved me and would take me to Atlas, but after I gave him what he wanted he left me down here in his mines. Adam, I need you to find your father. And when you do, I want you to kill him. And his wife. And their children. Kill every human on this earth so I can forgive giving birth to a half-"
"I WILL DO IT MOM"
[End of paper dialouge]
#rwby fix it fic#rwby rewrite#rwby au#rwby#rwde#adam taurus#ghira belladonna#sienna khan#omg I am totally doing something#illia amitola#blake belladonna#writers: Adam is a branded former slave#me: but how can I make his backstory more dramatic/traumatic?#devil on my shoulder#“Adam's mom got tricked by Jacques Schnee to give him a cookie from the nookie jar so she raised her son to eant to kill all white people#i mean faunus“#me: GOLD#I didn't get to touch on Adam's relationship with Blake tho#;_;#I wanted to touch on how Adam and Jacques are like yin & yang#where Jacques is abusive because he only loves himself#and Adam is abusive because he loves people too much and has a distorted view of the world around him#how Jacques keeps belitttling Weiss cuz he just dont like her#while Adam keeps belittling Blake cuz she reminds him of his dead mom that he wanted to “save”#when really Blake just had depression after her parents died and when she finnaly starts to feel like herself again she realizes that Adam#is batshit and crazy about her but in a bad way#and he keeps talking over her concerns about how the WF keeps getting more violent because he thinks he knows better than her#so when Blake leaves the White Fang Adam just thinks she lost it like his mom did before she died#when really she was overcome with guilt and wanted to try walking a different path#OMG I RAN OUT OF TAGS TO RANT IN!!!
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#urgh. i have been having a harder and harder time waking up in the mornings -- and really dizzy/lightheaded when i do#which has been making me consistently late to my morning shifts at work and today i just stayed home entirely#and i think i'm in a little bit of trouble at both my jobs now#part of it is that i am not always able to wake up enough to send an email much in advance but i don't know what to do about that#because obviously i am /trying/ to not call out!#something is definitely wrong though. and i don't know if it's something i can fix which makes me very stressed about work#both now and in the future especially#:(
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why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/
#honestly i understand that my parents care about me and they don't want me to be feeling bad#and that they ask me bc they just want to make sure i'm okay#but i've explained to them what i feel like and they just don't get and i get mad but i akso know it's not their fault and just... oughhhhh#like yeah i have a weird kind of social anxiety according to my therapist and even she doesn't know exactly how to help me yet#but there are just so many reasons behind why i don't like going out and it's not just bc it gives me anxiety#or why those situations give me anxiety in the forst place#1. i'm just a very introverted person that doesn't like going out#2. crowded places/closed spaces/places where there's not enough ventilation/loud places (be it people talking or just music) overwhelme me#3. all said in 2 + flashing lights give me huge migraines that can linger for over 3 days#4. i am very much a night owl and i'm forced to live in a society where that isn't fucking acceptable apparently and i'm called lazy for -#- not being productive in the morning when the only reason behind it is that i am a lot more productive at night#but no one ket's me do that bc 'why are you doing stuff when you're supposed to be asleep?'#i have been the same since i was little. literally nothing has changed#and people where always like 'oh she's just shy'#but idk wtf changed#maybe it was that i became and 'adult' or maybe the fact that i started therapy and they told my parents that i have social anxiety. idk#but suddenly every single person in my family is worried about it and they're genuinely making me feel like there's smth wrong about me#i mean. i have my problems i'm not gonna go telling you that i'm perfect bc i'm pretty much not#but is there really smth that wrong with me that i need to fix#or is society just a bitch that doesn't understand that there's different kinds of people and everyone is different & IT'S COMPLETELY OKAY#have they ever thought about the fact that maybe these situations cause me anxiety bc i've been forced all my life to do them#even if i don't like them#instead of thinking that i don't like them BC they cause me anxiety??#i mean. i know i have to go out more and that there's tons of things i can do ofc#but you can't just force me to do things i don't want to and put on a good face while doing it *every.fucking.day*#aaaaand i could add a lot more things but i'm once again reaching the tag limit so i shoukd just shut up#it's just driving me crazy bc i know they're trying to help but it really is not helping at all.............#ranting
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drops my OCs and runs away-
#just needed to remind yall that i can still hold a pen lmao#tumblr crunched the quality so much ??#this is zabeth and her flatmate kayden#they are friends :)#good friends :)#they've eaten my brain#i'm too shy to want to share much lore honestly but ik you guys are so lovely and will gladly recieve any more lore i do decide to drop💜💜#zabeth has a brother too and he's kayden's bestie#they're my queer punky babies#i've enjoyed torturing them through whumpril then fixing them by drawing them happy lmao#ANYWAY#yes i can still draw yes i am still learning yes i am having fun and trying to beat the depression one doodle at a time 💪
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'this is like wanting your kid to get better by yelling at them and hitting them… you know it won't change/fix anything.'
EXACTLY I have been saying this for so long!! it's not gonna work and it's just gonna make everything worse. it's not a form of activism to just bully people until they conform to what you want; humans are autonomous people capable of choosing good, and like. we could be in the fandom of another band that doesn't even try, whose fans have given up on them and are just there for the music and the drama, but it's like the minute they do try to do something good they have to do activism a certain way and it almost becomes a kind of purity culture and purity culture is famously about control and not good for anyone.
but it's also people trying to be funny in the comments with thinly veiled frustrations that come out as insults about their appearance (which especially gets to me bc like. does body positivity stop if you're famous? or are they just idealised figures/bodies/personalities for us to look at and pretend our bodies don't change over time and we don't like it when they remind us that they actually do?) or their partners or how they express themselves. and it's the aura of entitlement that erodes their right to autonomy and individuality that gets me, not only because the way we get the creative music they make is them expressing that.
anyway i do think we as a fandom can do better and i want to attempt to start a conversation about that rather than trying to call people out in the comments. still thinking of how. there's a lot of people in the fandom who are struggling and exasperated with life and relate to their songs and the pressure has to come out somewhere; it ends up being in comments they feel like won't ever be seen except for by people who agree with them, at people who seem to far away and too big to ever see getting hurt by their comments. at least that's what I assume happens. but yes, they were bullying a cat
I agree with everything...
Was it always like this? It can't be because this is too much, none of the hate was on me and I couldn't take it, I wonder how the guys (or any celebrity) feels, being judged about the tiniest move you do, it's crazy I would totally lose my mind.
That's not how life is... yes I would love to be a fan of good people but if the gf/partner of the artist you're a fan of is bad and their friends are bad what does that make them? Maybe it's on you, maybe YOU should pick better idk 😭.
#like you don't have to like everyone around the guys they're not your friends. You don't know them.#maybe I'm the worst person to agree to this because yes i look up the ''drama'' or whatever and I'm nosy but i never thought for a second-#-that I can tell them what or who to hang out with...#because it's stupid. like here I am from across the planet and I'm gonna fix 5sos and their friend group yes totally not mental...#please 😭😭#Also is it activism if you tell them how they should say it and do it? If they say something it's not enough-#-if they don't they're the worst to walk on this earth. If they apologize for a mistake it's not sincere and won't be accepted.#How will anyone change if you don't even let them?#this fandom can do better but will it ever try? Maybe when it's too late.#too late as in they stop interacting with us ever... and i wouldn't blame them..#call me bald everyday i will write a paragraph about how you ain't shit. you WILL see me in fan wars lmao... ashton is better than me.#are the tags too much? im sorry i feel more comfortable here lol 😭#ask#5sos
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