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powerovernothing · 4 years

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And now for something entirely different to help breathe a bit of life back into my blog! After having a dry spell in terms of content around my three favorite boys, I thought I would add a touch of variety to the many numerous things that I have written in regards to the Knight, the Emperor, and the Assassin!

It should be no surprise that I oftentimes find inspiration in the strangest of places, but one thing that is always a constant source of inspiration for me is music. Or rather, certain songs that remind me so much of the boys that I cannot help but fit the lyrics to different parts of Korbin and his brother’s lives, or some scenario that they have went through – or will go through with time.

I very rarely post lyrical write ups on my blog, as they are what you would consider – by using an ancient term from fan fiction’s past – song fics, or even animatic scripts if you want to get a bit more clever, but since I was quite fond of the work I did for this song in particular… I thought that it may not hurt to upload it and see what the reactions may be!

So sit back, relax, and buckle down for almost nine thousand words worth of an emotional rollercoaster with the boys and their story that was born from the wonderful song Found/Tonight by Ben Platt, and Lin-Manuel Miranda! Thanks so much for reading~! ♥

We may not yet have reached our glory But I will gladly join the fight - The entire premise of this write up starts with the opening line, and the opening scene. And that, of course, begins right before the Battle of the Great Gate. Before the brothers, the Blades, and members of the Cheydinhal Family walk down to that field, and face off against the worst that Oblivion has to offer, all in the hopes of turning the tide back in their favor, and getting the last thing needed for the Portal to Paradise.

Martin, already in his Dragon Armor, stands in the main hall of Cloud Ruler Temple, and speaks to those before him. He tells them that they may be in an unspeakable position, that lives may be lost, they everything could go wrong... but even so, he will not stand around and simply watch. He will join such a battle and will fight for their freedom against Oblivion itself.

And when our children tell their story They'll tell the story of tonight - Lucien, in his Legends style of armor, comes to stand at Martin's side, and speaks to the crowd just as well. He explains that everything is against them, that so much could go wrong, and he is not certain how this battle will play out... but he has faith.

He has faith that whatever happens, whatever will come to pass, when those who remember this battle -- the children who are here in said battle, such as Ocheeva and Teinaava, and those that will come years afterwards -- will think back to this moment, be it glory or ruin, and know what they risked to put an end to the Crisis once and for all.

They will stand together, or they will fall together, and it all depends on how much they are willing to give to push back the forces of Oblivion.

They'll tell the story of tonight Tonight - Korbin stands away from the crowd, watching from the shadows as his brothers speak to the crowd before them. The army that is before them. And he feels himself uncomfortable with the entire situation. He looks down at his feet, listening to what his brothers say, and how confident they are in their abilities, and he feels... uneasy.

He has been here before, in another time, in another life, and yet he knows that there is so much more that is placed on the line. Not only do they have more people to stand with them, but Korbin knows that they have far more to lose because of it. Friends that he has made over the half year, family members that he loves and cares about... he knows that he could lose it all, once again, if he is not careful enough.

A bitter smile touches his lips, and his shuts his eyes to the memories that flood in his mind. The story of tonight? He's already lived this story, and he will do anything to make absolute certain that it does lead him down the same path as it did in the previous timeline. He refuses for such a thing to happen, and yet...

He doesn't realize that his brothers are feeling the same worry, the same discomfort, the same paranoia of what will happen in this battle, and yet keep a careful mask in place for the sake of their loved ones. For the sake of being strong. Of encouraging them, believing in them, and hoping it will be enough to help them fight.

Have you ever felt like nobody was there? - Lucien looks up from the crowd, and notices Korbin in the distance, and frowns softly. He thinks back to his childhood -- if you could even consider it such a thing -- and the time he spent with his family, and how he often fought, struggled, and desired to have affection, and love from them, and yet never received it. It made him feel as though he was alone.

And then into his adulthood where he feels as though he is being left behind. He was shunned by his parents, he was cared for by the previous Speaker of the Cheydinhal Sanctuary, and she perished. He loved his previous Silencer, and yet she died trying to prove to him that she was more than capable. He was betrayed by the Brotherhood's traitor, and nearly lost his entire family because of his own paranoia.

And, worse of all, he feels next to useless during the course of the Oblivion Crisis compared to Korbin, and Martin. Korbin is the Hero of Kvatch, and Martin is the future Emperor. And what is he? A taker of life? An Assassin? They do so much good, so many amazing feats, and he... feels himself being forgotten, and he loathes such a feeling.

Have you ever felt forgotten in the middle of nowhere? - Korbin isn't aware that Lucien is looking at him, and dealing with his own concerns, his own worries. He is so lost within his own mind, and it is clouding his judgement, and silencing everything else around him.

He too, thinks back to his childhood -- and like his brother, although unaware of the similarities, wonders if he could consider it such a thing -- and how he was suddenly abandoned by his parents in the Waterfront District. Never truly understanding why they would simply leave him, and then walk away as he cried and reached out for them. The memory of them faded over the years, and became something repressed, and as he grew... he adapted to the cruel world around him.

He took his first life over his blanket and continued to kill to survive. He was brought into the Brotherhood, and he wound up losing the members of his family because he was following Lucien's commands to the letter. And then... he lost Lucien because of the very same mistakes.

And, just when he assumed that the world hadn't taken enough from him, hadn't tormented him, or laughed at his misery... then he lost Martin, and suddenly... he was alone again. Alone just as he had always been. And he just continued to walk, passing by everyone as he sought out a desperate source of comfort, and knowing all too well that no one cared for his pain, and that he had been forgotten by the world yet again.

Have you ever felt like you could disappear? - Martin doesn't look from the Blades, from the members of the Brotherhood, he holds his gaze, and yet his eyes slowly show an incredible amount of pain hidden within blue eyes that normally held such love, such comfort. He thinks of what he is doing, where he is, and what he has done throughout his life.

He thinks back to his childhood with Darius -- and although he took it for granted, especially compared to his brother's and their past, he did value it, he did treasure it, just not as much as he should have if he had known -- and he remembers his mistakes. His terrible, awful cycle of mistake that seemed to grow, and grow, and nearly consume him entirely.

He never realized that his dear adoptive father was sick until it was far too late. He wished to try and go to his farm, to say goodbye, to beg forgiveness after he had passed for never being there, for never seeing the signs, but he couldn't. He was too afraid.

So, he turned his back on what used to be his home and ran back to the shelter of the Mage's Guild. And when he returned, his friends did what they thought would be best for his guilt... by taking him to Sanguine. He let his past mistakes fall off of his shoulders for a time, he shed himself of the life he used to lead, he disappeared into something that he thought would help him -- the drink, the parties, the temptations --and then he made another mistake, and lost his friends because of it.

And what did he do? What did he do when he realized what he had done? He ran once more. Disappearing into Cyrodiil for a time and hoping that no one would piece together what had happened, what he had done. What he had continued doing, and how much of a foolish coward he truly was.

Like you could fall, and no one would hear? - During this lyric, there is a gentle piano beat that occurs three times whilst these words are sung in an equal amount of gentleness.

Thus, from this sort of thing, you can imagine that for a moment Korbin would clutch a hand over his chest. Wondering if he is doing what he needed, wondering if he will be able to protect his brothers from their fate, protect his family from suffering in a worse way than in the Original Timeline, and if he will, truly, be able to fix everything that he believed that he ruined the first time around.

The second beat is Lucien placing a trembling hand over the dagger that is sheathed in his belt. He wonders if he will be strong enough, protective enough, just simply enough for those he cares about in this upcoming battle. If he will be able to stand, next to his family, as well as the Blades, and not be assumed that he would turn against them and bring about their death because an Assassin never changes his shadows.

He wonders if he will be able to stand next to the Hero of Kvatch and the Future Emperor and keep them safe. Show them that he is strong, that he is capable. He wonders if they would believe him. He wonders if he believes himself.

The third and final beat would be Martin finally looking away from the Blades, from the Brotherhood, away from his brothers that linger beside him, and just in the distance, and he sighs deeply to himself. The feeling of self-doubt, and self-hate is beginning to creep upon himself, and he feels almost smothered in his armor.

In Tiber Septim's armor.

And questions if he is truly doing the right thing. If he is truly being what these people -- his people -- need out of a future Emperor. He wonders if he can march into battle and do what is needed to spare Cyrodiil from it's terrible fate at Mehrunes Dagon, and the Mythic Dawn's hands. Is this right? Is this who he is? Can a Bastard son of a dead Emperor truly lead this people to glory itself? To freedom? Or is he... simply going to run away the moment that the battle becomes too much? He isn't certain, and the thought terrifies him.

Well, let that lonely feeling wash away All we see is light - The sound of the crowd around him slowly pulls Lucien out of his thoughts, out of the darkness of his own mind, and he looks out towards both the Blades, as well as the members of the Cheydinhal family, and he feels a wave of relief come over him.

Perhaps, he is merely worrying about nothing. Perhaps he is more than capable of proving himself in the coming battle. Perhaps he will be able to prove himself to Martin, as well as Korbin.

And, when he thinks of his brothers, of those who remain at his side -- despite everything, despite all of his paranoia, worries, and everything else that darkens his thoughts -- he instantly sees Korbin smiling at him in the distance, and the feeling of Martin's hand suddenly coming to rest upon his shoulder. He sighs and returns their smile with one of his own. (These two lyrics are Martin and Korbin to Lucien)

'Cause maybe there's a reason to believe you'll be okay For forever - Lucien senses the feeling of Martin beginning to doubt himself, even despite the fact that he went out of his way to try and soothe his own worries. He feels as though his Light Brother is beginning to doubt that he deserves to be in this battle, that he does not belong in such a battle, and so many other things that he cannot even understand.

But what he does know, however, is that he absolutely despises seeing Martin doubt himself when he has been so strong for so long. Perhaps even Korbin senses that as well. The shine of their Light Brother has dulled slightly, and they know that should not be.

Lucien turns, takes Martin's hand in his own, and carefully pulls him into a half embrace -- or rather, as much of an embrace that he can manage, considering that the latter is in heavy armor -- and Martin relaxes slightly.

As they embrace, Martin looks over Lucien's shoulder, and sees Korbin smiling at him genuinely. And that is enough to cause Martin to feel as though the armor that he wears... is not nearly as heavy as it was only moments ago. (These two lyrics are Lucien and Korbin to Martin)

'Cause when you don't feel strong enough to stand You can reach, reach out your hand - Martin and Lucien eventually break from their embrace, and Martin continues to hold Korbin's gaze as he does so. Whatever that he may have felt in his moment of self-doubt, whatever he may have questioned about his place, and his strength... he sees it flickering in Korbin's own golden eyes, and he does not believe that such a thing should be allowed to continue.

He cannot simply reassure his siblings, and then take none of that reassurance for himself. Martin shares a secret look with Lucien -- one in which the Assassin understands all too well the meaning, and why he is giving it to him at all -- and the two of them move away from their place in front of the fire of the main hall, and over to where Korbin lingers in the distance.

If he does not believe in himself, then Lucien and Martin will do whatever they possible can to help him believe. They will stand at his side, as they always have done, and they will reassure him with their presence. If Korbin is reaching out, seeking comfort, seeking reassurance, then they will take his hand, and they will give that to him willingly.

That is what brothers are meant to do. Care for each other, and Korbin is going to help them, then by both Sithis and Akatosh, they are going to do the very same for him! (These two lyrics are Martin and Lucien to Korbin)

And oh - Korbin looks up from where his eyes had fallen back upon the hardwood floor in front of him and is instantly taken aback when he sees the familiar boots -- despite one of them paved in gold -- of his siblings standing before him. He finally looks up, meets their eyes, and is shocked to see them standing before him, and so willingly.

Did they... somehow know? Was it truly so obvious what he was feeling at the moment? They both seemed to be in much better spirits, and he was thankful for it, and yet... they were here? In front of him? To try and help him as well? He doesn't know what to say. He genuinely doesn't, and simply remains in stunned silence for a moment.

Raise a glass to freedom Something they can never take away - Martin and Lucien come to stand at Korbin's side, each of their hands coming to rest upon each of his shoulders, and they turn to face the crowds that had seen them move away from their prior place in the main hall, and walk over to where the Hero of Kvatch was waiting.

They had not even been aware of his presence, they had no idea, would have had no idea that he was even presence in such a crowd, if it was not for the fact that Lucien and Martin all but forced them to be aware of him. They speak up, keeping their -- almost protective -- grip on Korbin, and reassure the crowds -- and Korbin just as well -- that they will face the hordes of Oblivion, and they will conquer!

Because as long as they stand together, as long as they hold onto the connections that they have made in knowing one another, then that is their greatest source of power, and even the cruelest Daedra cannot dare to stand against them!

No matter what they tell you - Even as Lucien and Martin stand at his side, and speak to the crowds -- intentionally including him in such a speech, and reassuring them that they will stand against the forces of Oblivion with the Hero of Kvatch, the Future Emperor, and The Great Assassin protecting them -- Korbin still feels somewhat unsure.

It isn't as though he does not trust his brother's words, it is not as though he believes them to be lying, but he feels himself being pulled. Almost as though he's being pulled back away from his siblings, away from those that he loves, and would protect with his life.

His vision begins to darken, the sounds of his brother's words begin to fade, and he feels chains slowly beginning to wrap around his body. And a laugh, a terrible, truly horrible laugh ringing in his ears.

He's felt this feeling before; he knows very well what it is, and he wishes that it wouldn't happen right now. That he wouldn't interfere right before a battle that could either turn the tides in their favor, or drown them completely, and cause Korbin to lose his chance.

But he knows that is exactly what he would want. Mayhem. Mischief. If he could make his Little Raven squirm and doubt himself. It is what he lives for, after all. Anything to pull his future vessel closer to his side. Anything to remind him of what he will gain, and Korbin will lose, the moment the Crisis is over with.

Someone will come running To take you home - And yet, even though Korbin feels the pull of the Mad God in the back of his mind, even though he feels himself being yanked back, away from his loved ones, and the allure of drowning underneath layers, upon layers, upon years, and an entire lifetime of guilt seems oh-so tempting, especially when he believes himself to fail once again... he feels the pull, the allure, the waves beginning to fade.

He doesn't understand at first, he doesn't know why such a feeling is happening -- when he knows that Sheogorath wishes to play, wishes to torment -- but when he looks up; focusing his gaze upon what is in front of him... he sees Martin and Lucien smiling at him. Genuinely smiling at him with as much love as two men could feel towards their adoptive little brother.

That is the reason why he feels Sheogorath fading in his mind for a time. That is the reason why he growls under his breath, swears a line of insults in regard to his brothers -- the helpless, pitiful Assassin, and the worthless, blinding Priest, as he would surely say -- and then finally lets the chains fall for a time.

Because he knows that if he did not, their sheer presence alone would cause the game to lose it's fun for a time. There would always be other opportunities, other ways for him to remind Korbin of what is at risk, how that he will undoubtedly fail, and that there is no such thing as a third chance. But until that time came, until Sheogorath tormented his mind once more... he holds onto his brothers.

He holds onto their presence and knows that -- even in the darkest of moments -- they will be beside him to quiet the madness for a time.

Raise a glass to all of us - Finally believing that he knows his place in this battle, in this timeline, and believing that there is indeed a chance -- no matter how slim it may be -- that they will claim victory in the coming battle, Korbin moves forward and holds up a fist and speaks to the crowd.

He smiles; a real, genuine smile, and tells the Blades, as well as his fellow members of the Dark Brotherhood that they will surely win against the Daedra. He will rush into the Great Gate himself, destroy whatever creature is there lurking within, and then come back with the Great Sigil Stone in hand, and do whatever is possible to retrieve the Amulet of Kings, and end this Crisis once and for all!

And for a single moment, he looks less like the self-doubting man that was tormented by his actions in the previous timeline, and more like the leader he had become at Lucien's side in the Cheydinhal Sanctuary. More like an actual hero that Martin sees him as. And in such a moment... the two elder brothers smile with pride.

Perhaps they did very little to dissuade the worst of Korbin's thoughts, and fears... but at this single moment; they share in Korbin's glory. They share in his renewed strength. And they carry it upon their shoulders and allow such a sight before them to strengthen them, and quiet their own doubts, just as well.

Tomorrow they'll be more of us Telling the story of tonight - Korbin turns away from the crowds and flashes a more playful grin at his siblings after he is finished speaking. Before they have a chance to match his smile with one of their own, or even begin to question what he is so very happy about, he quickly pulls them into a tight embrace.

One arm over each of his brothers, and he shows his appreciation, and his affection towards them, towards what they are doing, and where they are, by doing what he does best. Hugging them and smiling as though the weight that he carries -- that they know he carries daily -- has now somewhat faded. They accept the embrace, and their own smiles grow.

Perhaps the battle will end up changing things. Perhaps there will be some of them within this temple that will not walk away unscathed, and perhaps some of them will not even come back at all... but Korbin believes in them. He believes in his brothers, his friends, his dark family, and -- for whatever possible reason -- they believe in him as well.

So, he holds onto such a hope, just as he holds his brothers in his actual embrace, and he keeps smiling. Hoping that the result of such a battle will be okay, that they will walk away from it with their heads held high, and not collapsed into a bloody pile somewhere.

Whatever may come, whatever happens, they will face it together, and they know that they will have a story to tell.

Or, there will be a story that is told. Somehow, somewhat, Korbin will make sure that his brother's actions, their strength, their journey -- as well as their survival -- is not forgotten. And secretly -- just to themselves, as they share another knowing look towards one another -- Martin and Lucien promises each other that they will do the very same on Korbin's behalf.

No matter what comes, no matter how the Crisis ends, no one will be forgotten. They will make absolute certain of it.

Out of the shadows The morning is breaking (they'll tell the story of tonight) - And then this is where the scene would fade away from the Battle of the Great Gate. From where the Emperor and the Assassin, as well as the Blades and the Dark Brotherhood fight for their very lives and hope and pray that their Hero of Kvatch will return back with the Sigil Stone, and close the Great Gate before the Deadra somehow manage to overthrow them.

The scene would fade, away from Korbin returning, Martin rushing over and embracing him, and Lucien smiling in the distance, and it would cut to a scene of Korbin, Martin, and Lucien walking away from the destroyed Temple of the One.

Lucien and Martin would be helping -- a newly revived -- Korbin walk away from the Temple District, and back towards the Imperial Palace, and then suddenly... they stop. Because Korbin is looking up, Korbin is smiling up at the clouds above him, and both Martin and Lucien are confused.

They do not know what he is staring at, they do not understand why he is smiling -- after just being brought back from death's cruel hand -- but when they follow his gaze, and see that the dawn of a new day is peeking out over the walls of the Imperial City... they smile just as well.

Because it is the start of a new day. It is the start of a new Era. The Oblivion Crisis is over, they are all three alive, and well, and they won. It's finally done.

This is the story that they wish to tell. The story of three brothers who, when faced with the worst that life had to offer, the very worst that all of Oblivion itself tried to throw at them -- to separate them, to break them apart, to destroy them -- they still stood at each other's sides.

They still relied on each other, protected each other, and now... now nothing is in their way. Now they can live their lives, and they can continue to write whatever story they wish to continue telling.

And all is new All is new All is new - And then the scene shifts away from the brothers walking away from the destruction of the Temple of the One, away from the memories of what happened just before Martin tapped into the power of the Amulet of Kings, as well as his own blessing, and Lucien followed suit in a desperate attempt to keep Martin from using too much power.

Instead, the scene would fade, and then you would see Martin's coronation in the chamber of the Ruby Throne. Once more, as there is three different lyrics, it would show three different scenes accompanying each.

For the first one, Martin would be walking out of the crowd, coming up to Ocato with a look of nervousness upon his face, but steeling himself for his future. Knowing that he is to be Emperor, and that Lucien told him that he was ready. That he was more than ready, and perhaps... he believes it himself.

Then, the next one would be Korbin coming next to Martin one he is finally crowned, and appointed Emperor officially, and bowing respectfully before him... before being pulled into a tight embrace by his brother. He may still be Emperor, but that doesn't change how he feels about his little brother.

And then finally, the last would have Lucien coming up to his pair of -- incredibly sappy -- siblings with a shake of his head, and a look of amusement over how they are acting in the middle of a crowded room, and then being pulled into the embrace by Martin and Korbin just as well.

It's only a matter of Time - One of the reasons why I genuinely love this song so much, and why I believe that it fits my Oblivion Verse -- outside of the lyrical obvious, of course -- is how often the lyrics play up the aspect of threes. I've done it twice now, and yet this lyric here is sung three times, and then finally a fourth to crescendo to an emotional climax before carrying on the rest of the song.

And because of such a thing, you know that I am going to take complete and utter advantage of it each and every time that the opportunity presents itself. Thus, carrying on from the above with the boys at Martin's coronation... the scene would continue with them being brought into a tight, overly emotional embrace with one another.

Lucien would be pulled in suddenly, a look of genuine surprise on his face, and then the boys would look at one another -- each of them accompanied with one time for each -- Korbin, then Martin, then Lucien, and they would simply laugh emotionally; tearfully, and not at all care what Ocato, or the other royalists or higher ups believe of such a show.

Right now, all that truly matters to them, is one another. They endured the Crisis, and they came out on top of everything. They endured the worst that Oblivion had to offer, and they survived. And whenever when it seemed that everything was against them, even when everything attempted to take away what it was that they cherished most... they still managed to turn the tides of fate itself and keep their family together.

And then the scene would fade, and much like the instance of the three brothers within the main hall of Cloud Ruler Temple, they would each endure some sort of thought, some sort of fear, and reach their lowest possible points.

Doubting themselves; doubting who they are. Being afraid of something coming to pass; or something that had indeed came to pass without realizing. Carrying the guilt of mistakes that were not theirs in the first place; and feeling as though the weight of the world has crashed around them.

Even when the dark comes crashing through - Lucien feeling absolutely consumed with the suffocating darkness of where he is in life. Normally such a darkness would be a comfort, a reassurance. It should be a means of showing that he is cloaked in the shadows of the Dread Father, and the Night Mother, and yet. He still feels himself at a loss for everything that happened over the course of his life.

Such as the loss of his previous Silencer, and how he believed that Lara resented him in her final moments for never being able to grant her what she desired most out of her beloved Speaker. The traitor's betrayal that had been lurking just out of view for so many years, and how such a thing nearly cost him everything because of his own mistakes, his remaining family included.

How he believes that he is still stuck underneath the terrible memories of his parents, almost looming over him when he believes himself to be healing, to be in a better place, with actual people that love him, and how he worries about becoming exactly like them, and never providing those, who he genuine cares for more than anything else in this bloodstained world, the trust and love that they so willingly deserve.

When you need a friend to carry you - Lucien's worries fade, and then the scene turns to Martin. Martin who feels himself stuck underneath the genuine terror of everything that he endured throughout his life that led up to the events of Kvatch.

He thinks back to when he was younger, and how he had so many dreams, so many things that he wished to accomplish, and then... before he knew what was happening, before he realized anything was wrong whatsoever -- swimming about in the waves of his own ignorance -- he lost his adoptive father Darius.

The man who raised him, the man who taught him everything, the man who loved him, even if Martin was not truly his flesh and blood child.

And in the aftermath of his guilt, he wound up underneath the foot of the Daedric Prince of Debauchery Sanguine, and how such a choice in his life ended up causing the deaths of his friends, those that he cared for, just as much as Darius... it only made the waves of what was once ignorance, turn into overwhelming guilt.

And then, making matters far worse, and foolishly believing that he could find something better if he kept his focus on those who needed his so-called caring healing hand.

But it was not enough, it was never enough, for then the invasion of Kvatch happened -- all in a means of finding him -- and he struggled to understand. He struggled to understand the Gods, and their plans, and struggled to make sense of knowing that so many people -- so many good people -- died because the forces of Oblivion wished to bring about the end to the Septim Dynasty once and for all.

He was unable to continue on by himself. He needed someone to be there for him, and to give him the strength that he desperately lacked.

When you're broken on the ground - And then, much like how Lucien faded to Martin, then Martin would fade to Korbin. Korbin who is deeply overwhelmed with the guilt of everything that took place throughout the course of the Original Timeline.

Feeling as though his knees can carry him no longer, and that every step forward is a step that causes the death of someone that he loves, someone that he cared about, and for some reason that he cannot even begin to understand, the death of someone who cared about him in turn.

What good would it be to keep walking? To rush out of the ruined Temple of the One, away from Ocato, away from Baurus, and Jauffre, and everyone that he deemed to be allies, when the two people that he loved the most... were now gone, and gone because of him?

Because of his naive, foolish, and awful choices that took away the only family he ever had. The only ones who ever truly saw him as something more. Someone far more than simply the shamefully abandoned child left upon the filthy streets to fumble about in his own ignorance that he so often saw within himself whenever he looked into the nearest mirror.

He crumbles to the ground in the harsh rain that followed in the aftermath of the events of the Temple of the One in the Original Timeline; overwhelmed with knowing that he is alone again, that there is nothing that can be done, and he simply cries.

You will be found - The boys have now reached their lowest possible point in their lives. Lucien is overwhelmed with doubt, Martin can no longer carry on with the weight of his past mistakes, and Korbin is broken because of his own actions, and yet; even despite the fact that they have crumbled, they have fractured, broken down, and are past the point of even trying to hold their own against the countless amount of numerous, unspeakable, terrible enemies... suddenly something finally changes.

Something that they never would have thought possible. Something that they would have never expected. Not in their lives, not in this world, and yet...

Suddenly Lucien no longer is drowning from the concepts of what ifs and what could bes, fueled by the worst aspects of his own paranoia because of what he could lose, and what he has lost.

Martin no longer believes that he has to force himself -- past his breaking point, and even past that just as well -- to use some sort of strength that he no longer has, that he never believed he had in the first place, and doesn't have to carry it all on his own.

And Korbin doesn't have to remain broken, forgotten, and suffocating underneath layers and layers of guilt of something that wasn't his fault; no matter what his own mind, what his own madness tells him otherwise.

Because, even in their darkest moments, even when they can no longer stand against it all... they have each other. They found each other. They no longer have to be alone and endure the torment of what terrifies them most in their most shielded, private moments, because now they have someone beside them.

Someone there to pull them up, brush them off, smile at them, and reassure them that everything will be okay. And, if it isn't -- not at first -- then they will continue to be beside them until it finally is. They don't have to be alone anymore, because they are wanted, they are cared for, they are finally found.

So let the sun come streaming in - As the darkness attempts to suffocate everything that Lucien ever knew, everyone that Lucien ever loved...a sudden light cuts through the terrible darkness -- not born of the Dread Father, not gifted by the Night Mother, something worse, something far worse, and frightening -- that is surrounding him; clouding his thoughts, and causing him to worry about every single action that he makes going forward.

The once infinite darkness then slowly turn to a soft grey, and even though he strains to see through the rays that appear, almost out of nowhere -- and he tries to see through his fingers that shield his eyes -- he doesn't turn away from such a sight. He doesn't reject it as he would have other such things.

This light is somehow warm, somehow almost inviting, and because of this feeling, this comfort, he actively moves forward to try and seek out the source.

'Cause you'll reach up and you'll rise again - In the destruction of Kvatch, when everything that Martin thought he knew -- everything that he thought he followed willingly, and hardly without question -- suddenly made no sense, and he began to doubt... only then does the door to the half ruined Chapel of Akatosh open up. Martin assumes it to be Daedra, that fate has finally come to bestow whatever he believes is proper to one such as him, and yet... suddenly there are two saviors rushing in instead.

They're terribly dirty, covered in blood, soot, and Divines only know what else. They're both tired, angry, and even despite their emotions during such a horrible situation, they call out for him specifically. One even calls him brother -- despite the fact that he is indeed referred to by such a name, by such a title -- and he does not quite understand why he feels drawn to such strange men.

Everything else is telling him to heal those who are injured, who are dying, and then finally get back upon the road, and put it all behind him once again. And yet these men will not allow him to do such a thing. He is told of his lineage, of who he really is, and they explain how they are there to protect him, to rescue him, to take him to safety... and, despite everything telling him otherwise, he believes them. He follows them. He trusts them.

If you only look around - Korbin still remains in the rainfall, crumbled upon the ground as he did in the aftermath of the events of the Temple of the One in the first timeline. He does not know how long he has stayed in such a position; he does not know how long the rain has fell around him, and he does not care.

But even despite the pain and the agony that he feels, two gentle hands come to touch his shoulder. He looks up in shock -- no one had ever thought to do such a thing to him before, not when he was broken, fractured, in his most venerable, and weakest state of mind -- and there are both of his brother's standing in front of him.

They smile gently down at him -- despite how he looks, despite how he cries, despite how much weakness he is showing -- and they pull him up. As they do, they instantly begin to soothe his cries, and comfort him. They embrace him tightly and tell him that it will be all right. That he doesn't have to face such emotion, such darkness alone. That he is never alone.

For even though he is often overwhelmed with his emotions, his guilt, his pain that lingers from the previous timeline, and it causes him to often second guess himself... his brothers are always there to hush those fears. Because they are with him, they'll always be with him.

You will be found - And at last, Lucien finds the source of the light that cut through his darkness. The light that followed, willingly, and without question, and at the end of the light, he finds Martin and Korbin waiting for him with open arms.

Martin goes with the strange men that he met in the destruction of Kvatch, as the Oblivion Crisis first began, and he follows them upon their path, upon their shared journey, until he finally moves forward as the Emperor with Korbin and Lucien at his side as his Knight and Adviser.

Korbin finally stands from where he had fallen, the storm that was raging behind him beginning to slow to a light trickle, and he allows Martin and Lucien to hold him close. To soothe him. To comfort him, and he embraces them just as tightly in return.

They may endure hardships upon hardships, they may suffer underneath the weight of their own fears and their past choices, they may second guess themselves if they are truly doing what is needed, and what will make the others around them proud... but they have each other throughout every doubt, every worry.

They're never truly alone, because they will be found by the other, and have be found, because they found each other and became a family.

And when our children tell their story - And then the scene suddenly fades away from the brothers being found by one another, and it cuts to a shot of three children.

Three children -- a young boy holding a large book, with dark skin, shining eyes, and a golden circlet around his forehead, a young girl who is nestled close to the boy, with two toned hair of shades of brown and grey, and golden eyes, and then another that sits on the opposite side of the two with shining black hair in a braid, and piercing eyes -- excitedly reading about the many numerous adventures, and journeys that have come before them.

The journeys that had happened before they were even born. Those of which they had heard about in passing and were eager to know more of the time in which Shadow and Flame clashed, and what exactly brought about the End to Madness at last.

You will be found - The shot of the children reading begins to close in on the words within the book, and the scene slowly fades away to a nearly empty chamber. A chamber that is filled with nothing but darkness, and the most unbearable, unimaginable pain.

Two men stand together, side by side, and their blessings begin to appear to the eyes of the one who dares to defy them. Who dares to come between them, and the one that they would face off against the very depths of Madness itself to protect.

They'll tell the story of tonight - A pair of sharp golden wings appear upon the shoulders of the one who stares up at the Mad God with protective fury in his eyes; the wings coming to drape around his shadowy companion, and the one who had fallen behind them.

A thick smoke of red tinted mist falls off of the one who carries the artifact that would bring about even a Daedra's doom, and they block his attempts of getting to his Little Raven with as much power as they are able to wield.

In the distance, floating in the height of his supposed victory, floats the spectral form of Sheogorath himself, and he looks down at them with a cheerful smile. Taunting them, encouraging them, seeing if they are capable of coming between what is rightfully his for one final time.

Would they defy fate itself for the sake of keeping The Mad God away from their little brother? Without a doubt. They had done so before, without even realizing it, and now that they knew. Now they understood their own powers, and what their brother had given up, what he had sacrificed... they would do so again a second time.

No matter what they tell you - The children turn the page, and sudden the scene changes as well.

Martin and Lucien face off against The Mad God, and finally defeat him. They strike him down with their combined strength, their combined rages of what he has done to their brother over the course of so many years, and how close -- how often -- he came to ripping him away.

And that was Sheogorath's first mistake. He may have seen his Little Raven as nothing more than a broken bird, and yet... Lucien and Martin still wanted him. Still loved him. They saw his faults, his flaws, and accepted them all the same. And when it came time for the Mad God to come for his due, to get what he was owed, they stood in his way... and he did not expect such a thing.

And when it is done; when it is finally finished, and Sheogorath's spectral form fades away with a bitter, ironic, defeated chuckle... they rush back over to Korbin and heal him of the injury that he sustained in such a risk.

They had one shot. One small shot to free their brother from the pain, and the agony, and now that the one who had hurt him for so long was finally gone... they are desperate to bring him back from the brink of death itself. They had come so far, too far, and would not let him go so easily.

Tomorrow they'll be more of us - The children are hanging on the edge of their seats; their eyes widened, and desperate to know how it all ends. They continue to flip the page -- excited, overjoyed stars shining in their eyes -- and then the scene fades once again.

It fades to Korbin being brought back from the brink. To him waking up, much to the relief of his two terrified older brothers, and genuinely smiling for the first time in months. He looks towards Martin -- who laughs with gentle tears in his eyes at such a sight before him -- and then he turns towards Lucien. He speaks a clever quip, hoping to invoke some sort of emotion from Lucien, hoping that, in doing so, he would force his brother to speak... and when such playful words leave his lips, Lucien grabs him in a sudden, overwhelming tight embrace.

The two Assassins fall backwards into a collective heap, laughing as they go, and rest their foreheads against the other as they weep openly in knowing what they actually managed to achieve. In what they saved, despite everything saying that they would fail. That they would lose. That they would remain incomplete and be fractured in such unimaginable ways. In whom they saved from a Mad God's cruel hand.

Lucien pulls Korbin into a sit after a moment, they turn to Martin, and hold out their arms for him to come into the tearful embrace as well. It feels familiar, as though they did this so long ago, within similar chambers, and yet with a far greater audience.

They laugh to themselves; they hold each other close, and they allow themselves to breathe, and savor their hard-earned victory against the wrath of Oblivion a second time.

Telling the story of tonight - The scene slowly fades away from the brothers and their tearful embrace, and the young children close the book with large smiles on their faces.

They had heard the tales in passing, they had heard of such a remarkable feat from those that they cared for, and those they loved, and yet... now they have actually read it thoroughly. They actually had their chance to know it all in the most in-depth, gloriously detailed way possible. And knowing all that three great heroes had managed to accomplish -- against Oblivion, against the Mad God -- simply causes them to latch onto one another as well.

They laugh happily, albeit with far less tears, and suddenly familiar stars twinkle brightly in their eyes, and they want to know more.

They want to hear more adventures. They want to know everything that happened before their time. They want to grasp onto the strength and inspiration that such tales give to them, and possibly form their own story in turn. To follow in their footsteps, place down the roadwork to their own wonderful tales, and amazing adventures, and somehow make those that they admire most of all proud of their hard-earned accomplishments.

The story of tonight - As they break away from their emotional embrace after an extended moment, they look out to the distance, and see three men standing there in waiting. And it was somehow possible, the stars in their eyes twinkle all the more, and they instantly are up on their feet.

Running forward, smiling widely, and asking so many questions in breathless gasps. Did they know what they just read, did it really happen in such a way, did they really face off against Mehrunes Dagon himself, and The Mad God as well?

How did they find the courage of being able to keep going when everything around them seemed impossible? What sort of strength did they truly have when they were together? What new adventures are they going to have, and can they come along as well?

The children want to know everything; every possible thing about what they read, what they just learned, and they refuse to take no for an answer.

Three brothers look down at their children and laugh warmly at such intense curiosity. They hold out their hands to them and promise to tell them everything with time. But for now, for the rest of the day, all they wish to do is walk alongside their children and see where the road takes them.

And if, by some chance, they stumble upon a new journey that was ten times more amazing than what their children just read... well, then they would surely greet such a thing with open arms, and an ever-playful smile.

Not only because the thought of something new, something exciting, made them eager for new opportunities, and a brand-new adventure, but because whatever was out there, whatever was waiting... they would face it together. Just as they had always done, and just how they always will.

The children smile up at their fathers, and back towards each other upon hearing such wonderful words, and they nod their heads. It sounded amazing, absolutely amazing, and they couldn't wait to see where such a road would take them together.

After all, it was only a matter of time~

#hero of kvatch #martin septim #lucien lachance #the elder scrolls oblivion #tes oblivion #The Knight The Emperor And The Assassin~#My Fan Fiction~

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animegirl431 · 5 years

Text

Trifiesta June 14th (2019)- Home/ Family

Arms full of shopping bags, Yokozawa looked down at the still energetic fifteen years old girl. A beaming smile stretched across her face as she scanned the mall for her next target. The teens light brown hair had been carefully put in a pony tail using the worn out pink scrunchie that Yokozawa gave her shortly after they first met. When Yokozawa suggested to Hiyori that the scrunchie has fulfilled its role as a hair accessory and should be thrown out, Hiyori determinedly held the scrunchie out to him.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Yokozawa had said taking the scrunchie out of the teen’s hand.

Nodding her head in confirmation, Hiyori had turned around so Yokozawa could fix her hair. Closing her eyes, she enjoyed the feel of the his gentle fingers moving with utmost care to make sure that he didn’t hurt her. While Hiyori typically said all that was on her mind, she held back from telling Yokozawa that she imagined this is what it would be like if he mother was still around.

A lot of what Yokozawa did made her feel as if she had a mother around. Yokozawa had that certain nurturing personality that she associated with mothers. He put in extra effort into helping Hiyori with everything she asked of him which reminded her of how her friends’ mothers acted. In addition, her father had continued to teasingly address the salesman as a mother never failing to elicit a blush from Yokozawa.

She found it secretly adorable how Yokozawa got all flustered. Though Hiyori made sure to defend Yokozawa when her father started going to far. This interaction brought amusement to her as it showed how close a relationship the two men had. Lately, something had changed. Hiyori didn’t know when it started, but watching this common display had left a strange ache in her heart. However, she couldn’t quite place what exactly the cause of it was.

Ignoring the mysterious ache, Hiyori focused back on listening to the multiple apologies and the repeated asking of if she was alright whenever the dark haired man assumed he had been to rough. She smiled at this cute side of the man that people missed out on due to being thrown off by his intimidating mien.

Hiyori made sure to deny being hurt each time. She could her relief in his voice each time he said to make she spoke up if he did or told her okay just making sure. It didn’t take long for him to complete the task as the salesman had plenty of experience.

“All done,” Yokozawa had announced when Hiyori had not moved for five minutes after he finished styling her hair.

“Okay,” Hiyori responded, spinning around to check how it looked in the hand mirror Yokozawa was holding.

“All good?” Yokozawa had asked, prepared to do it all over if she wasn’t satisfied with how her hair turned out.

“Yep it’s great. Thank you, Onii-chan,” Hiyori said throwing her arms around him in a hug.

To his credit, Yokozawa only slightly flinched at the action. He would never fully get used to how affectionate the Kirishimas were. Pulling away, the brown haired teen reached up the run her fingers over the pink scrunchie. This simple hair accessory had been around for a lot of events of her life. More importantly, it had been given to her by someone who irreplaceably important to her.

In someway this scrunchie became a symbol of their friendship and a connection between the two in Hiyori’s eyes. Getting rid of it almost felt like breaking an unspoken promise that they would continue to be a part of each other’s life. It is an extremely childish way to view it, she knew, but when she placed that significance to it there was no way she could toss it out.

“I’m sorry if I upset you,” Yokozawa had apologized sincerely.

“No, it’s okay. You are right. This scrunchie should have been tossed in the trash a long time ago,” Hiyori said dismissing his apology. “It’s probably stupid to keep it at this point, but it’s special to me.”

Ruffling her hair gently, Yokozawa smiled softly as he was able to relate to wanting to hold on to the important things in life. “In that case, I look forward using this scrunchie in the future.”

Spacing out, Yokozawa heard his name being called. Glancing around the mall, he noticed Hiyori standing there concern shining in her brown eyes. He must have been distracted for longer than he thought. The teen stood there examining him worried that she might have missed signs that he needed a break. From previous experiences, she knew Yokozawa would follow her lead even if he got overly exhausted.

“Do you want to go rest for a little?” Hiyori asks, guilty that she had let the thrill of going to the mall with Yokozawa make her ignorant to the state of her companion.

“I’m fine,” Yokozawa responds dismissing her offer. “Where to next?”

Observing Yokozawa for a few seconds, Hiyori decides to believe him. Although she made a note in the back of her mind to pay more attention to him. She wanted to both of them to enjoy the time spent together. Even though she is sure that Yokozawa has grown to hate going to anywhere that Hiyori could buy clothes from. Hiyori liked to look cute, so she could easily spend hours finding all the items required to make coordinated outfits.

Yokozawa is too polite to actually tell her this. It’s one of the things that she both loved about him and caused her to worry. People could easily take advantage of this trait of his. Of course, Hiyori had no intention of this happening as Yokozawa didn’t deserve to have people trample over him and his nurturing personality. She took pride in her self assigned role of being his protector.

Amused at the thought of how flustered Yokozawa would be if he found out about this, Hiyori held back laughter as she replies, “You choose where we go next.”

“Me? This trip is a way to for me to spoil you. I don’t have anywhere...,” Yokozawa said, until he saw the sweet girl’s lips form a pout as her face displayed the tell tale signs of disappointment.

“At least pick one shop to go to. For me,” Hiyori pleaded, while Yokozawa instantly recognized this behavior as being similar to what he would expect from her father.

Yokozawa felt conflicted between being impressed that she had learned an efficient way to get her way and wanting to yell at Kirishima for corrupting their innocent daughter. Silently, Yokozawa prepared a lecture to give his lover for teaching Hiyori to be manipulative. Of course, this little assault tactic wasn’t any less effective when Hiyori did it than when Kirishima did.

Giving in, Yokozawa scanned the area. Also, he searched his brain for anything he might need. Nothing came to mind. There was honestly nowhere he wanted to go. It occurred to him that to do something immature like to close his eyes and randomly point to a store. If not for Hiyori watching him, Yokozawa might have actually performed that action.

Suddenly, an idea come to him. It had been inspired by looking at Hiyori and recalling his conversation while helping put Hiyori’s hair up earlier today. Going over to a map, Yokozawa searched under the section of stores relating to beauty and hair supplies. Sliding his finger down the list, he stopped as one store stood out. Walking back towards Hiyori, Yokozawa bowed respectfully as one might expect a servant of royalty to do.

Offering an arm, Yokozawa requests, “Would you do me the honor of allowing me to guide you to our next destination, princess?”

Giggling, Hiyori composed herself and did her best to imitate the princesses she has seen in movies or read about in books. Placing her hand on his arm, Hiyori replies, “I grant you permission to do so.”

Both of them laugh unable to hold a straight face. Moments like these made hanging out with Yokozawa so fun. She always looked forward to their next adventure. Hiyori wondered when it was that she had started expecting Yokozawa to be there by her side no matter what. And when it was that saying goodbye when chose to go back to his apartment for the night had become so painful.

Yokozawa had fit into their home like the missing puzzle piece required to bring the color and sound into their world they didn’t know they had lost. At this point Hiyori couldn’t imagine not having him in her life. Yet, there was always that thought that someone could catch Yokozawa’s interest. That someone would cause the salesman to fall in love. That someone would steal Yokozawa from them.

Frowning at this, Hiyori couldn’t distinguish what the different unpleasant feelings that bubbled up inside her were. What Hiyori was sure of is that she didn’t want to share Yokozawa with anyone. She rejected the idea of Yokozawa showing his special smile to anyone else, of Yokozawa cooking with anyone else, and most importantly of Yokozawa giving his attention to anyone else.

It was selfish and maybe even cruel to desire that Yokozawa only focus on her father and herself. Yet, Hiyori believed that they understood the salesman better than anyone else. That they could make him happy. That Yokozawa was the only one that would ever fill the hole that would be created

if he left them for somebody else. The three of them were a family. And she would never give that up without a fight.

Shaking her head, Hiyori tightens her grip on Yokozawa’s arm. Yokozawa who had been walking along, stopped worried at the tension in the girl’s face. It confused Yokozawa that her mood had shifted so unexpectedly. The care taker side of him brought up that she might not be feeling well. Yokozawa was well aware of how reluctant she could be to speak up when she assumed it would ruin the good time they were having.

Placing a hand on her forehead, Yokozawa found that she didn’t have the signature warmth that came with running a fever. The teen jolted at his touch and gazed at him. She forced herself to stay near him, even though she was ashamed the thoughts that had crossed her mind.

“Are you okay?” Yokozawa inquires worriedly his eyes meeting hers.

Forcing a smile, Hiyori nods. “I’m great! I have been spending the day with you. How could I not be okay?”

Yokozawa could tell that something was off, but he didn’t press her for further details. He trusted that Hiyori would confess what was bothering her when it was necessary. Returning a smile, Yokozawa continued on to the shop.

Arriving in front of the shop, Hiyori quirked an eyebrow at the beauty shop. Admittedly, this hadn’t even made the list of possible places Yokozawa would choose. At first Hiyori had thought he made a mistake, however the salesman made no move to leave or gave any indication that this shop wasn’t the right place.

“I told you to pick somewhere you wanted to go, not somewhere you think I would want to go,” Hiyori complained sounding annoyed, once again showing the familiar resemblance to her father.

“And I did. I have a special reason for picking this store. You will see,” Yokozawa vaguely explains heading inside.

Intrigued, Hiyori followed Yokozawa as he made his way over to the area that had all the hair products a person would ever need for exploring what style hair they want. Specifically, Yokozawa made his way over to the area that displayed an army of colorful hair ties, bandanas, and hair scrunchies. Her eyes were drawn to row of scrunchies in particular.

“You see something that you recognize?” Yokozawa asked, as the teen took a closer look. “This is the store I got your pink scrunchie from.”

“Really?” Hiyori chuckled, her cheerful nature coming back. “Most people aren’t able to remember where a gift comes from.”

“I probably wouldn’t have if you hadn’t taken such a liking to the scrunchie. However, when you started treating it as a precious item and using it nonstop for years, I figured that it would be important to know where the scrunchie came from, so I could get you a new one when it wore out,” Yokozawa explained, an amused smile on his face that turned a bit sheepish as he spoke further. “It’s late, but I hoped that it would be okay for me to get a new one.”

Yokozawa finished speaking relishing in the beaming, sweet smile that was turned his way. Honestly, he was a bit nervous that Hiyori might get mad at him for doing this. Her reaction said she felt the opposite which was a relief. She searched the countless scrunchies for less than a minute. Looking over her shoulder, she grinned at him.

“You have to be the one to pick one out,” Hiyori ordered, grabbing his arm to usher him forward.

“Huh? Wouldn’t it be better for you to get one that would match one of you outfits or something?” Yokozawa asks caught off guard. He was hyper aware of his lack distinction and knowledge when it came to what was fashionable or “in” trend wise when it came to clothes or accessories.

“No it has to be the one you choose,” Hiyori said, a blush on her face as she continues. “That’s what made this scrunchie so meaningful.”

Tenderly smiling at the endearing girl, Yokozawa felt loved and flattered when he heard the reasoning behind her holding onto the scrunchie. Searching thoroughly along the row of scrunchies, Yokozawa picked up a light blue one, a pink one, a red one with white polka dots, and a black one with white stripes.

“Are you planning to get all of those?” Hiyori asks looking at the small handful of scrunchies Yokozawa had.

“I am. This way you can switch them up and they will last longer,” Yokozawa reasoned and then grinned at her. “Also, I mentioned earlier didn’t I about how I planned to spoil you today.”

“Thank you,” Hiyori replies with bright eyes, enjoying the special treatment.

Yokozawa ruffles her hair. Hiyori blushes and pushes the hand away. She does her best to give him a displeased look at his action with her cheeks puffed out. Yokozawa found this to be cute as they both knew that Hiyori actually liked when he ruffles her hair. In her opinion, it seemed like something you did to show affection to a younger child, so Hiyori was embarrassed to admit that it was comforting to her.

“You two make such a charming father and daughter pair. I hope I can achieve that strong of a relationship with my daughter when she gets older,” a man comments holding a baby in his arms.

A silence ensues as Hiyori doesn’t meet Yokozawa’s eyes or release her normal giggle as is typical when they receive this type of commentary. The reason being that this time the words finally sunk into the brown haired girl’s mind. It had been a slap in the face as things finally fell into place. She finally understood why she had an ache in her heart. The fog that had prevented her from truly putting together what she desired had lifted.

It all made sense. The reason why she had felt an ache when comparing how Yokozawa acted to a mother’s, why she panicked when people mentioned how she should get a new mother, why she disliked Yokozawa leaving to go to his apartment instead of staying the night and why she couldn’t stand the thought of Yokozawa treating someone else the way her father and herself were treated. The answer was so simple, yet it took four years for her to acknowledge this.

Hiyori didn’t want a new mother, she wanted a new father. She wanted Yokozawa to fill the role of being her dad. She wanted her father and Yokozawa be in love with each other. She wanted Yokozawa to step into the spot that had been left vacant after her mother had passed away. She wanted Yokozawa to be truly accepted and acknowledged as their family, as belonging to and with her father and herself.

Now the tricky part was how did she go about telling her father and Yokozawa about this. If she wasn’t careful she could end up destroying the perfectly stable and comfortable relationship they have developed. She wasn’t sure the best way to bring up the situation, but she did know that she was going to bring it up tonight. All Hiyori could do is hope everything worked out.

Blinking, Hiyori realized that Yokozawa had been staring at her. Nervous about what she had planned, Hiyori avoided looking Yokozawa in the eyes. Yokozawa frowned, for the second time that day Hiyori had been acting strange. Wariness made Yokozawa start to question whether it was the best idea to ignore these signs of something being wrong for much longer.

“Hey, I’m feeling tired. Can we go home?” Hiyori inquires in a soft voice.

Surprise flashed in Yokozawa’s eyes as she had been bursting with energy a short bit ago. Frowning, Yokozawa felt his anxiety and worry increase. The teen continued to evade his gaze as she shifted from foot to foot. While Yokozawa was originally going to wait for Hiyori to open up to him when she was ready, this he had definitely changed his mind. Her behavior concerned him and that warranted him questioning her when they got home.

“Okay. I will pay for these and then we can head back,” Yokozawa said, heading to the register.

As soon as he paid for the scrunchies, Yokozawa handed the bag to Hiyori. The teenage girl clutched the bag to her chest before walking ahead of him.

___________________

Entering the apartment, Yokozawa slipped off his shoes as did Hiyori. The pair walked down the hall towards Hiyori’s room. There was silence during the short travel. Both Yokozawa and Hiyori had different ideas on what they planned to have happen when they reached the room. Opening the door, Hiyori moved to the side to let Yokozawa in. The salesman put the bags of clothes and all sorts of jewelry they picked up from the mall on the floor near the closet.

Hiyori sat on the bed unable to freely speak due to the anxiety. The teen had already came to the decision that she should wait until her father got home to get what she needed to say off her chest. For now, she just wanted to be alone to prepare how to approach the important topic of their relationship dynamics.

“Hiyo,” Yokozawa began trying to inquire about what was bothering the teenage girl.

“I had a lot of fun today. Thanks for hanging out with me. I’m feeling worn out after all the shopping we did,” Hiyori interrupted while crumpling the bag containing the hair scrunchies. “Would it be okay if I laid down to rest?”

“Yes. Go ahead and rest up for as long as necessary. Call for me if need anything,” Yokozawa replies, disappointed and concerned at being cut off from talking to her.

“Of course. Talk to you in a few,” Hiyori said as she flopped on her side facing the wall.

Lips twitching, Yokozawa sighed as he closed the door softly behind him. Going to the living room, he pressed the power button on the television. The salesman sank into the couch. He was too worried about the Hiyori’s abnormal behavior to calm down. He racked his brain for anything he might have said or done to upset or offend her, but he couldn’t pin point anything.

Yokozawa really wished Kirishima was here. He was sure his handsome, smooth talking, lover would have been able to easily deal with Hiyori. They were partners in crime and amazing at reading each other. The father-daughter duo could tell when the other was feeling down or distracted by something even when to any outsider it appeared that Kirishima and Hiyori were fine.

Yokozawa worked hard to improve his skills on recognizing and interpreting the masks and little actions that father and daughter used when they were attempting to obscure their true feelings and opinions on subjects. Obviously, he still had a long way to go to reach their level of being able to read the two. So, it is frustrating when something like this happens where he gets shut out because he couldn’t read the signs of what had caused Hiyori to become distanced from him as she had.

Pulling out his phone, Yokozawa noticed that the time was 5 o’clock meaning that Kirishima wouldn’t be home for at least another hour or two. It occurred to Yokozawa that calling Kirishima would help alleviate some of the stress that built over Hiyori and his travel back to the apartment. Also, it might quiet the nagging voice in his head that demanded he be more authoritative with the teenage girl and tell her that they needed to talk.

Refusing to be a burden to his lover, Yokozawa dismissed the tempting idea. It would be bad to distract Kirishima at work over what could be Yokozawa overthinking things. Blankly, Yokozawa stares at the television screen hoping that Kirishima would be done sooner rather than later.

Two hours passed, before his lover returned from work. The light brown haired man drops his work items on the floor. He had been jealous that he got called in to work while Yokozawa and Hiyori got to spend have a fun filled day together. Kirishima figures that tomorrow all three of them could go to the park and have a picnic or go to the aquarium.

Honestly, Kirishima could care less about where they went, he just wanted to be around the two people that his world revolves around. In a jolly mood, Kirishima went to go playfully tell Yokozawa and Hiyori about how they better get some rest tonight because they were going to have a busy day entertaining him starting early in the morning the next day. The editor figured he would find the two out in the living room watching a movie.

He was mildly shocked to only see Yokozawa slumped on the couch. His lover looked tense and exhausted. Not at all the attitude he expected to see. Frowning, Kirishima stepped in front of Yokozawa’s sight. Gray eyes blinked rapidly as Yokozawa sat up straighter.

“When did you...welcome back,” Yokozawa said running a hand thru his hair.

Skipping the greetings, Kirishima went over to his distressed looking partner. “What’s wrong?”

Flinching, Yokozawa gave a bitter smile. “I don’t know. The day started off great. Then, Hiyo grew a bit distant. And when we got back she chose to avoid me by telling me she needed to rest. I have gone over all the details of the day, but I can’t figure out what I did that made her close herself off from me.”

Placing his arm behind Yokozawa, Kirishima rubbed circles in his back to soothe his lover. Yokozawa leaned against Kirishima’s shoulder, allowing himself to calm down and to break up the whirling thoughts in his head. It was a bit disorienting how all it took was Kirishima being near him to make him feel like everything would be okay. Kirishima places a kiss on his forehead giving a few minutes for his lover to destress.

“I’m okay,” Yokozawa breathes out, feeling foolish for being this worked up without having heard any of Hiyori’s side.

Removing his arm from Yokozawa’s back Kirishima takes in the sight of the tint of pink on Yokozawa’s indicating his embarrassment. Smiling, Yokozawa ruffles Yokozawa’s hair, pleased to see Yokozawa’s typically feisty reaction of swatting his hand away. The salesman sits up missing the warmth and smell that surrounded from being that close to his lover.

“How about we have a chat with our precious girl?” Kirishima says lacing his fingers with Yokozawa’s.

Nodding, Yokozawa has more confidence about investigating Hiyori’s strange behavior with Kirishima by his side. He squeezes Kirishima’s hand as he says, “I’m ready.”

Reluctantly, Kirishima unlaced their fingers as yells, “Hiyo, come here!”

Hurrying down the hall, Hiyori half heartedly smiles at the the two men sitting on the couch. “Welcome back.”

“I’m back,” Kirishima says as he motions towards the chair. “Take a seat.”

Plopping down in the chair, Hiyori begins to uneasily twirl a strand of her hair. Folding her hands together to keep them from shaking, Hiyori takes a deep breath. It was ridiculous to be this unsettled when in front of her father and Yokozawa. They were the people she trusted to listen to her, to protect her, and to find solutions to any problems appeared.

It just goes to show how desperately she wanted this conversation to go over well. The logical part of her said that she was overthinking things. To take the leap and get off her chest everything she figured out. Another part of her kept rolling out all the possible ways this could go horribly awry. Squeezing her hands together, Hiyori gathers her courage.

“My angel, I came home assuming to you two out here being adorable as you the two of you are. So, it threw me off when I came home seeing Yokozawa having a mini break down due to panicking that he had upset you in some way. I figured that Yokozawa probably just read to much into things, but you are sitting here looking as stressed as Yokozawa was when he came home,” Kirishima spoke up having decided that they would get to the main issue faster this way.

Guilt crossed Hiyori’s face at hearing about Yokozawa’s state. The last thing she had been trying to do was cause the man to worry unnecessarily. However, when she recalled how she had acted it isn’t hard to see why he would be. Her lips twitched. She dipped her head as she bit her lip.

“Are you upset with Yokozawa? Did he offend you in some way? Do you need to speak to me privately?”

Yokozawa winced when Kirishima said this. While Yokozawa knew that Kirishima doubted that this was the reason behind Hiyori’s mood, it didn’t prevent him from feeling attacked by the implication of those words.Worse, it caused a sharp pain in him That’s he might actually confirm this. Hiyori might actually ask him to leave while they talked. He would though if that’s what the situation called for.

This got no reaction from the unusually quite girl. Kirishima tilted his head at Yokozawa and gave a him a look that said ‘sorry, but can you leave so I can take care of this.’ Nodding, the couch creaked as Yokozawa got up.

Clearing his throat, Yokozawa fought to hide the sadness he felt at having to be dismissed from the conversation. He never imagined that it would happen, but even more surprising is how it felt like a punch in a gut that made catching his breath difficult.

“I’m going to head back home. Call me when...if I can come back,” Yokozawa said his voice rough as there seemed to be a certain finality that would accompany him walking out the door.

His body seemed to weigh thousands of pounds. Taking even one step brought the possibility of shattering the salesman. Kirishima could see his lover slowly breaking. As much as he loved his daughter, he couldn’t do this. He couldn’t let Yokozawa leave like this. Kirishima prepared to reach out when Hiyori suddenly sprang into action.

Head whipping up, Hiyori’s eyes widened as she processed what he said. The only thing that her brain focused in on was that Yokozawa was going to leave. That he said he was going home. It irritated her to hear him use that word to describe his practically empty apartment with that word. She felt as if she had been insulted in the one of the worse possible ways.

Sinking to the floor, Hiyori wrapped her arms around Yokozawa’s legs. She had a strong hold that one wouldn’t have guessed such a delicate looking body would be capable of producing.Effectively, the girl had immobilized Yokozawa’s legs.

“No! You can’t leave! I don’t want you to!” Hiyori yelled causing both of the men to jolt.

Shocked, Yokozawa froze at the teenage girl’s action. Blinking, Yokozawa didn’t dare attempt to move his legs for fear that he would lose balance and end up crushing Hiyori. Glancing at Kirishima, Yokozawa could see the exact same shock along with concern reflected in his expression. The silent question of ‘where did this come from’ passed between the two men. Meanwhile, Hiyori had buried her head against Yokozawa’s leg shielding her face from them.

“Why do you go back there? Why do you have to leave?” A muffled sorrowful voice came from the the girl drawing both men’s attention.

“I don’t have to leave...I-I....,”Yokozawa began, stuttering as he switched gears to adapt to topic brought on following Hiyori’s outburst.

“Then you shouldn’t go. You should just live here. Stay here”

“Hiyo....it’s not a good idea.”

“Why? I don’t understand.”

Conflicted, Yokozawa debates on how best to answer this. All kinds of possible things to say came to mind. Hit occurred to him that Kirishima had been silent so far. When he shifted his eyes over to Kirishima, the man looked at him shaking his head. It made sense, after all Kirishima had wanted an answer to this same question for years. So, Yokozawa couldn’t count on Kirishima to take care of this. It was his responsibility.

“People wouldn’t be suspicious if I moved in,” Yokozawa weakly explained. “They might treat you cruelly if they...”

Faltering, Yokozawa didn’t finish the sentence out loud. He look down as he felt the brown haired girl’s head shift. She met his gaze those big, beautiful brown eyes shimmered due to unshed tears. Yokozawa had to close his eyes for a moment as he despised being the reason for Hiyori’s sadness. What Yokozawa missed in this few seconds was the recognition that lite those brown eyes at his words.

“If they found out you were dating my father,” Hiyori completes his sentence.

Yokozawa stared dumbfounded briefly. His instinct had been to blame Kirishima for telling her even though he had promised to wait until she was sixteen. However, a quick peek at his lover revealed that Kirishima had also been blindsided by this. Kirishima remained composed, however Yokozawa could tell that now the man was rest to step in to do damage control.

“Yeah,” Yokozawa quietly confirmed realizing that no lies would fool Hiyori as she wasn’t asking if they were dating she was stating that she knew.

Releasing her grip on Yokozawa’s legs, Hiyori stood up. Her face was blank. Yokozawa stiffened not sure what to expect. Anger, disappointment or maybe even disgust. His heart was thumping so loud that he wouldn’t be surprised if all of them could hear. The couch creaked as Kirishima moved closer towards the two. It may sound bad, but Yokozawa couldn’t entirely be sure that Kirishima would be on his side if Hiyori began to hate him. To be fair though Kirishima has had Hiyori in his life longer than Yokozawa. And she is his child.

Breathing out in relief, Hiyori glared at them accusingly. “You should have told me. It would have saved us from all the trouble and stress today!”

“What are you talking about?” Yokozawa asked as soon as he could get his mouth working.

“The reason that I had avoided you is because I was afraid that of how you would react when I brought up the fact that you two should date among other things,” Hiyori explained shaking her head. “As it would turn out you two already one or probably ten steps ahead of me.”

“Y-you were going to ask us to date?” Yokozawa stuttered out.

“Yes,” Hiyori said. “I was so worried that you would be against the idea. Most importantly, I was afraid we might lose our close relationship. I didn’t want you to hate me.”

Yokozawa felt as if he was talking to himself. Those were the exact thoughts that kept him from telling Hiyori about their relationship in the first place. Or well at least it was the main one. Yokozawa felt as if the biggest of the weights dragging him down had been lifted. Kirishima had been right as always: Hiyori didn’t have a bigoted bone her body.

It made him ashamed for ever believing this precious girl would ever turn on him. “It was the same for me. I didn’t want you to hate me. The thought terrified me.”

“Never! I would never hate you,” Hiyori firmly stated.

Yokozawa smiled at Hiyori who had a grin of her own. Kirishima watched with his own tender smile. Reaching forward Kirishima went to pat them both in the back, but ended up using to much force.

“Ow.” “Ouch.” Yokozawa and Hiyori groaned as they turned narrowed eyes to Kirishima.

Raising his hands, Kirishima quickly says, “My bad. To be honest though you both deserved that for being idiots.”

Both Yokozawa and Hiyori went to deny that. Instead, they exchanged a glance and ended up chuckling. It had been stupid of them to keep get so worked up over something they both knew in the deepest parts of their heart was never going to be an issue.A peaceful silence occurred as all three of them sat on the couch. Yet, Hiyori hadn’t finished saying all that she had on her mind. Turning towards the two men, their was an excited sparkle in her eyes.

“When are you moving in?” Hiyori questions.

“I can’t,”Yokozawa quietly refused again.

“Eh? How come?” Hiyori badgered bit about to let this go.

“If I move in with you people will get suspicious. It could make life difficult. I don’t want to do that to you two,” Yokozawa answers aware that his resolve to not live with them was slipping away.

“And?” Hiyori asks as if Yokozawa hadn’t replied at all. “Is that all you got?”

Flustered, Yokozawa grasped for something else to say. In his mind this had been all the reason he needed. It had been enough to fend Kirishima off from pushing to much. Yet, Hiyori didn’t appear to be phased at all.

“Go ahead. Let people say what they want. I’m not some delicate flower that is going to wither up just because some people get off on putting other people down. As long as the three of us have each other’s backs we can handle anything,” Hiyori challenged, her hands balled into fists.

“I second this notion,” Kirishima pitches in, approval in his voice and eyes.

When faced with their confidence, Yokozawa has no choice but to be swept along in their pace. Although this time is a bit different. Instead of being dragged along by their pace Yokozawa finds himself wanting to dive in head first. All his insecurities and doubts be damned! There was still a bit of hesitation though that made him remain quiet.

Hiyori grabbed Yokozawa’s hand. “Many people have told or asked my father and me about having a new mother. And it always made me feel uneasy or angry. Some part of me never wanted another person be a part of the life my father and I had.”

Yokozawa had his full attention in the adorable girl. Kirishima also had a rare intensity in the way he watched his daughter and had his complete focus on her. Both of them were curious about where this was going to go. Hiyori squeezes Yokozawa’s hand and smiles so sweetly and lovingly.

“At least until you came around Yokozawa. You were always like a parent to me. And it took me way to long to realize this, but I do want a new parent in my life. Not a mother, but a father, more specifically you as my father as well,” Hiyori said, exhilarated to be able to put all the pieces together at last.

“Are you absolutely sure you are okay with me?” Yokozawa blurted out showing his lack of confidence and insecurities. “Do I deserve to take the place beside your father as his partner and fill the place a mother should be?”

“It has to be you. Only you,” Hiyori confirmed, making Yokozawa’s lips twitch in amusement at words he had been told before by her father.

“You are our family and it’s time for you to come to where you belong. Come home,” Kirishima and Hiyori said in unison with their typical cheery smiles. Both of them held out their hands. Their faces fully expressing the love they had for Yokozawa.

Yokozawa’s heart swelled. If he was being honest, he couldn’t dispel the feeling of beings a stranger here. Even though he practically came over everyday. It had been five years and that feeling had followed him for all that time. Now he was truly family. And now he truly belonged their.

Grabbing their hands, Yokozawa was pulled into a hug. And from the bottom of his heart, truly and sincerely, Yokozawa could say, “I’m home.”

@trifiesta

#trifiesta #yokozawa takafumi #kirishima zen #kirishima x yokozawa #hiyori #fluff #home #family #miscommunication #belonging #day 3

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judgement-free-sideblog · 5 years

Text

The enemy of love is the truth

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x reader

Summary: They were happy just as friends, but one morning the call from an old trauma may change everything.

Warnings: Alcohol consumption, history of drug use, mental health issues, cursing, angst. Also I tend to give terribly long explanations, so I'm sorry in advance if it seems like this takes too long.

■ Part I ■ Part II ■Part III ■ Part IV ■ Part V ■Part VI ■ Part VII ■ Part VIII | Final ■

Part II

The rest of her morning occurred without remarkable events, her general practice office in the small london hospital she worked at was the perfect place to hide from her feelings. Nobody could blame her for not checking her e-mail. And February usually was a busy month with many people getting colds and the flu.

Then the sound of a text interrupted her thoughts, it was from Tom, "Are you ready to negotiate?" and it had the infamous picture he had taken that morning attached.

"The daily mail is offering me a trip to Paris for yours, can you top that?" She responded immediately.

"That would be hard to pass, but What about dinner? And my eternal gratitude of course" He responded after a few minutes, she could almost see the smile in his face, knowing he had won, "asking her out" like that always made her back off, but since he was not physically there she send one last text "I'll think about it" even when she regretted at te same moment.

How we end up here? Y/N asked herself after 30 minutes with no response. Being honest it all have started little over 3 years back, one day before her 30th birthday when the idea of spending that day far from her friends and family was about to break her resistance and forced to call a certain person.

She was coming out of her shift at the hospital, it was 4 p.m. walking from the tube to her apartment, it was in the middle of some nasty and loud bars but it was cheap and quite empty at the time; when she saw her, a beautiful blonde girl not a day older than 19, she seemed disoriented and she was sweating profusely.

Before she could think of a reason to keep walking and let it go she was already holding her still before she collapsed to the ground, the girl looked back at her confused but grateful, Y/N took her pulse, almost 40 per minute, too slow.

People start gathering around to see, so she asked someone close to her to call an ambulance while desperately looking for something with sugar. One of the bar tenders offered her a simple syrup he used to make cocktails and looked surprised when she put it straight in the girl's mouth.

She recovered some color, looked at Y/N and quietly said "Please call my mom". The ambulance arrived and drove them both back to the hospital.

Her name was Bethany Edwards, and the worried woman that appeared 15 minutes after they were at the hospital was Caroline Edwards her mom, as she told Y/N she was the manager of the Harold Printer theater. Going trough a nasty divorce, as she told her while both waited for Bethany to wake up.

"When did she start using?" Y/N said once the woman was calmed enough. It taker by surprise the bluntness of the question but it was truly no reason to sugarcoating it.

"About a year ago" when her father and I separated. "He once said to me that he had already be enough in her life while she was little and sick... I guess this was her way to prove him we still needed him"

"Well I guess doctors don't usually tell you Type 1 diabetes and cocaine don't mix, but she will be fine" and out of sympathy she add "Don't be so hard on yourself for other people mistakes"

And so they became friends, and she became a constant presence in the theater unspokenly taking care of Bethany, every now and then she took care of Caroline's staff too, a bloody nose, a small burn for a shortcut, and, to the dismay of the understudies, of the actors too. And she end up in the payroll, with a schedule of 5 to 9 with an office and a new family.

And then the Betrayal production started, and she met Tom, as perfect and as beautiful as she had seen him in movies, she had, as discreetly as she could, watch him rehearse, completely overwhelmed by the way he got into character, and she had just smiled at him and pointed to her right when he had ask her where could he find one of the makeup artist.

Until Caroline, tired of looking her helpless crush on him, introduced them at Bethany's birthday party and him, being the perfect gentleman he always was, completely ignored their previous awkward encounter.

They talked, and they drink, maybe a little more than she should, and they even share a group song in the Karaoke. But then she ruined everything. The little spark, and the little maybe were stumped to death by her big mouth and emotional baggage. After a terrible first date they chose to be justfriends, and the years passed proving it was the right call, she cared about him deeply, and even when she could not believe it, she knew he did too.

The hours passed, and she got out, and soon she find herself on her way to the theater. A new text appeared in her screen. "Dinner is ready, it's your favorite" with a picture of a take out bag from her favorite sushi place, waiting for her in her office and two pairs of chopsticks. She couldn't help but smile, she loved him, there was no other way to describe it, even when it was impossible she truly loved him.

"Here's your bloody photo" she said when she finally entered her office. "But you are gonna have to take me to Paris some day"

"You can keep it love" He said opening the bag and taking out the food "And I would keep yours, you never know when it may be useful" He showed her the picture proudly displayed in his wallet and she had to hold herself from her desk to not swoon at the thought of him carrying her picture all day in his pocket. So she opened her laptop and pretend to check her email in order to avoid is obviously amused look.

"What is today, by the way??" He finally asked, she clearly was upset in the morning, and the idea of something causing her displeasure didn't suit well with him. "Earlier today you said 'It's today after all' What is today?"

And she clearly didn't want to answer because se pretend to ignore the question while a shadow of sadness appeared in her eyes. So he asked again.

"February 08? Monday? ... winter I don't know" she answered, ignoring the question and looking deeply in her screen.

"I think after three years we are past this kind of nonsense" He said even more concerned "But you clearly are upset about something" And that kills me, so fucking answer, he wanted to say but he didn't and after and awkward silence he only add "It's okay if you dont want to talk about it... But I'm here for you"

Then she took her eyes off the screen, clearly trying not to cry, and finally said: "It's my wedding anniversary"

Here it is!!! Part II, I hope you enjoy it, again I'm sorry for my grammar, this is so much fun even when I have not done it in years.

#tom hiddleston x reader #tom hiddleston imagine #tom hiddleston #tom hiddleston x you #medical drama #tom hiddleston fanfiction #drama #romance #friendship #betrayal #theater #angst #unrequited love

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fiction-queen-blog · 5 years

Text

(Naruto) Hogwarts AU

Genre:Magical, supernatural, comedy, action Main-pairing: Narusasu Read previous chapters on: Fanfiction.net or AO3 Note: There will be less/slower (if none at all) updates in January due to exams

Chapter 18 Jiraiya

It was the middle of the night when Sasuke Uchiha crawled out of his bed and checked if everybody inside the dormitory was still fast asleep. He was already fully dressed and only had to put his boots and black cloak on. He grabbed his rucksack and lastly picked up his wand from the nightstand. He took one last look around the room before putting his hoody on and sneaky outside of the dormitory, outside of the common room and outside of the castle. He hid in the shadows, making sure the Hogwarts' care-taker wouldn't spot him. So he had snugged inside an open classroom on the second floor and climb on a thick tree branch before climbing slowly down. From there it was easier to just stay in the dark until he made it outside of Hogwarts and into Hogsmeade. Most of the shops, if not all, were closed. Naturally nothing was open at this time of the night. Sasuke walked past Honeydukes and peeked inside through the window. They have redecorated since the day of the attack.

"Sometimes, things seem so long ago and yet are so fresh in our memory."

Sasuke jumped up from the familiar voice behind him. He turned himself around and saw Hashirama Senju, standing behind him.

"Headmaster Hashirama" Sasuke tried to hide the wand in his hand, but of course the headmaster of Hogwarts had already noticed him holding it. "I…Uhm…This is not what it looks like…"

"You are not traumatized and scared and trying to leave everything behind and walk away from your fears?" Hashirama asked, he didn't even try to sugar coat it.

"I am not scared and I am not walking away from any fears" Sasuke said determined.

"Then what are you walking away from?" Hashirama asked. He was direct, but perhaps that was what Sasuke needed right now, although he didn't appreciate it much right now.

"Nothing…Hogwarts is not for me, that's all."

"Because we teach magic, we are not forming a child army." Hashirama confirmed in a strict yet friendly voice, "Sasuke, take a walk with me."

He wrapped his arm around the Uchiha's shoulder as he guided him to the streets.

"I heard what happened during your lessons, and nobody is blaming you…" He began, "what you have been through is not some childish matter and dismissing like one is not the way to go about it. Your friends, that have fought besides you, took weeks to even be able to talk about what happened. You might have noticed Mr Hyuuga is still not quite present yet." Hashirama squeezed Sasuke's shoulder slightly.

"Headmaster…What are you getting at?" Sasuke asked. The vague way Hashirama talked was annoying him.

"Right now, things seem dark and unreasonable. Only time will allow you to accept what happened and you will be able to face-"

"For Merlin's sake!" Sasuke pulled away from Hashirama. "Every adult keeps telling me this. The darkness this, time that, healing blah blah blah!" Sasuke said annoyed, and stopped walking.

"I have seen what Itachi is capable of doing and I won't get on his level if I spend my time learning how to turn my hawk into a mug! I need to learn more powerful magic, I have to get stronger now! I can't wait to be a hundred years old before I get to be as powerful as you!" Sasuke folded his arms and stared at the ground. He felt a sudden wave of guilt for losing his temper at the headmaster. He seemed to be the only person who was trying to understand him and yet…It felt like he didn't.

"I can't whip my wand out and randomly stop a Sea Serpent without breaking a sweat. I am not like you…I actually need to work hard." Sasuke added in a whisper.

"You think I was born holding my wand and a book of powerful spells?" Hashirama asked. He didn't sound angry, but certainly the image the Uchiha had of him was disturbing to Hashirama. Sasuke didn't answer him. He felt rather mocked by the comment.

"Shall I tell you a secret? Between us?" Hashirama whispered, Sasuke gave him a rather strange look, but nodded.

"When I was your age, I was terrible at every subject but one….Herbology." Hashirama said. "Now, I didn't fight The Wizarding War with a Mandrake in my hands. It took me years to master the basics of magic before I was capable of creating my own spells and finding out the kind of wizard I wanted to be."

Sasuke looked up by the piece of new information. He couldn't imagine Hashirama, the most powerful wizard of his time, ever being bad at anything. Yet, he didn't seem like the person to lie, something must have triggered him to become stronger.

"What motivated you? To stop slacking off," Sasuke asked, looking rather interested at the headmaster.

"The only reason I even past any of my classes was because of my best friend…Who was an Uchiha." He smiled down at Sasuke," He helped me out in everything. He wouldn't let me sleep until I managed to do a summoning charm. And…When that friend was lost…I tried to get him back, and that's what made me stronger."

"Did you?" Sasuke asked after letting Hashirama's story sink in, "Did you find your friend?"

Hashirama's didn't break eye-contact when he looked at Sasuke with a sad but peaceful expression. He didn't give an answer, not right away at least.

"No…" He sighed deeply, "I wasn't strong enough."

"You ,the hero of a Wizarding War, weren't strong enough? Not even now?" Sasuke asked. "I don't know what you are getting at, but this story made me a whole lot more depressed." Sasuke sat down at a wooden bench and looked down at his feet.

"It means strength isn't everything. There is more to a powerful sorcerer than his or her spells. You, for example, outsmarted your brother by redirecting his flames. You managed to escape to Honeydukes by outsmarting him." Hashirama sat down next to Sasuke.

"So… I have to get smarter?" Sasuke questioned, looking at Hashirama. "I have to…Learn the basics before I can do more advanced spells…Before I can learn complex spells and actually get the upper hand of him. That will take forever."

"Why the rush?"

"I don't know, he killed Haku about four months ago. Who is next Naruto? Karin? Or Suigetsu?" Sasuke sighed and thought about the day he duelled his brother.

"But…I did manage to survive…Barley…with just three years of magical schooling…Itachi was about my age when he became rogue. Maybe…Maybe continuing school gives me an advantage over him. I did learn a lot in three years, nothing I ever imagined…" Sasuke voiced his thoughts.

"It is not like he would come near me again. The ministry is all over the place and Hogwarts is about the safest place there is…Because you are there." Sasuke looked at Hashirama. The headmaster gave him a fascinated look. It seemed hearing Sasuke think out loud was quite amusing to him.

"But who am I kidding? I am far behind in everything. I'll never catch up." At this Hashirama seemed surprised.

"Hasn't my brother contacted you in making certain arrangements?" He asked. "That's his department."

"No…Yes…No he did.." Sasuke said recalling Tobirama walking past the Slytherin table.

"I thought…I could do it without his help. I didn't think he wanted to see me after I flipped the cauldron in his class." Sasuke scratched his cheek, breaking eye contact with the headmaster.

"I'm sure if you apologise, he understands," Hashirama said.

"I always have the feeling that he hates me." Sasuke sighed, hugging his legs and resting his chin on his knee.

"If he had, he would have let you died, wouldn't he?" Hashirama chuckled, "My brother has just never been very affectionate. I'm his closest family and he has only hugged me about a hand full of times in our lives."

Sasuke frowned.

"Wait…Go back." Sasuke asked, "what do you mean he could have let me die?"

Hashirama's eyes widened and he realised his mistake. He shouldn't have overshared. However, it didn't seem like a big deal now that I was out there.

"Well Sasuke, you were in critical conditions. If it weren't for Tobirama you would have been dead. I would say you were legally dead for about ten seconds before he stabbed you back to life with a injection of a self-made potion. He made it on the spot. I always admired my younger brother for his brains."

Sasuke frowned, putting his hand on his chest, he remembered the stabbing sensation. He had no clue it was professor Senju who had saved him from death. That did change his perspective of his potion teachers….A little.

"Maybe…Karin is right." Sasuke said, "I should focus on my recovery if I ever want to get stronger."

"That is a wise choice."

Sasuke could feel Hashirama pat his head. "Look at that. The sun is about to rise. Isn't it beautiful? I guess time does fly when you are having a good conversation." He got up.

"I suggest you spend some time surrounding yourself with the people you love. Talk about what happened. Don't allow it to take over your life." Hashirama said.

"That is a good idea…" Sasuke looked at the sky, watching the sun rise. It was indeed beauty.

Sasuke walked back inside the dormitory and was immediately met with both Karin and Suigetsu jumping on him and hugging him tightly. Sasuke looked surprised at the both of them and they finally pulled away after a few minutes.

"We thought you walked away!" Suigetsu said, "we were about to write the aurors!"

"Never scare us like that again!" Karin said, wiping away some escaped tears from her face.

"I didn't…" Sasuke took his cloak off and threw it on his bed before sitting down. "Well, it was my original plan, but I came across Hashirama and we had a long talk. So, I am not walking away."

Karin and Suigetsu seemed both relieved at this.

"But I am going home…For a while at least. Karin, you were right. I need to take it slow and focus on my recovery. I talked to Tobirama this morning. He will arrange that I can do some home-schooling until I feel fit to come back. He said I could return at any point before the last day of the semester, but he told me not to force it and that it was alright to come back next school-year."

"How?" Karin asked, "You can't use magic in the muggle world."

"You can't use magic outside of Hogwarts." Suigetsu corrected her.

"I know, but I don't have to take all the subjects. Tobirama arranged that I wouldn't have to do D.A.D.A since I am ahead of it anyway and showed great promise during the battle of Hogsmeade. Same for Transfiguration and Charms. He suggested to drop my Arithmancy, Divination and Ancient Runes and just catch up on that during my summer breaks. No tests needed since they are extra subjects and I can drop them in the fourth year if it turns out they are too hard. Herbology, Astronomy, History of Magic and Potions are the subjects I will be taking home. Tobirama arranged for me to get some extra tutoring next school-year in the more practical matters of those subjects."

"How…How long will you be gone then?" Karin asked.

"Until I feel like a 80% again. I guess…I am not sure, I will have to talk to Obito about this. I sometimes feel he knows me better than I do myself…" Sasuke sighed and laid down on his bed.

"At least…I can get some rest.." Sasuke closed his eyes.

"When are you going to leave?" Suigetsu asked.

"Today…I have my stuff packed anyway." Sasuke said, "I am just waiting for the Headmaster. He is obligated to inform the minister of education. When that is done I can travel through the flew network."

There was a silence in the dormitory and neither one of the three said anything. Suigetsu awkwardly looking around the room while Sasuke was just lying down and Karin was just standing between their beds.

"You will write us, right?" Karin asked in a soft, doubtful voice. Sasuke sat up to look at his friend's sad expression.

"I'll try."

"We will write you every day!" Karin shouted wrapping her arms around her friend and hugging him tightly. "I am going to miss you so much!" She started crying.

"You still have Suigetsu," Sasuke tried to cheer her up but she cried harder now. It took about ten minutes to calm Karin down enough for her to wash her face in the girl's bathroom and go to her fist class. Suigetsu, who didn't have any classes the first period, stayed behind in the dormitory.

"Shouldn't you be saying goodbye to everyone?" Suigetsu asked, sitting on the edge of Sasuke's bed.

"Who is everyone?" Sasuke said, "There is only you and Karin."

"Naruto to begin with?" Suigetsu looked confused.

"Yeah…Nah…" Sasuke sighed, running a hand down his hair before looking at the sheets. "We broke-up. It was just not meant to be."

"That sucks…Do you need a hug?" Suigetsu asked. His responds caused Sasuke to throw a pillow at him. "We were together for two weeks before my crazy brother started hunting him down."

Suigetsu put the pillow away and sat back down, a tense silence filled the air.

"I asked him to run away with me…" Sasuke broke the silence, "He didn't want to. So…that was that."

"Maybe it is for the better," Suigetsu tried to cheer Sasuke up, but it wasn't really working.

"I should tell him…That I am going home, shouldn't I?" The Uchiha sighed confused.

"Do you really owe him a goodbye?"

"I don't know…Does two weeks of making out behind the potion section mean I owe him a goodbye?" Sasuke asked, "You think there is a book with laws written in them that determine what is good manners and what is looking desperate?"

"You could write one? Maybe confessing your feeling in a tunnel while facing three Akatsuki members counts as good manners?" Suigetsu nodded. Sasuke's hawk flew through the window with a little note tied to her. Sasuke quickly opened it and saw the confirming words of Hashirama. That was his cue to leave.

"I hate you, Suigetsu. I really do." Sasuke got up and grabbed his rucksack. "I will miss you, bro." He gave Suigetsu a fist bump.

"Take care, alright!" Suigetsu called after him. Sasuke stuck his thumb in the air before walking outside of the Slytherin dungeons and into the hall. He was on his way to Hashirama's office. He was staring at the ground when he could hear footsteps quickly approaching him. Sasuke looked up, but he was too late. Naruto, who was running down the halls while looking over his shoulder bumped right into him.

The Uchiha hissed in pain feeling Naruto's weight push the air out of his lungs.

"Sasuke!" Naruto quickly got back on his feet. His voice sounded surprised and somehow…He seemed to be panicking.

"We gotta run. We gotta run!" He grabbed Sasuke's arm and pulled him up with one hand.

"Naruto!" Sasuke couldn't process what was happening, Naruto was dragging him along while he was running in the opposite direction of where Sasuke was heading. A thousand thoughts went through his head. Did the Akatsuki manage to get in the castle? Was Itachi down the hall?

Sasuke looked over his shoulder and his eyes widened seeing a huge spider that was covering the entire hallway running on his eight legs right at towards.

"Naruto Uzumaki, what did you do?!" Sasuke shouted, pulling his arm back as he ran right next to him. "What is that monster! What have you done!?"

"Not a monster!" Naruto panted, pulling Sasuke inside the girl's bathroom on the second floor. They hid behind the door and both of them tried to catch their breaths. Sasuke grabbed his chest, it started to hurt again. He could feel a stabbing sensation going through it.

"We need to kill it…Or knock it out!"

Naruto covered Sasuke's mouth with his hand, pushing him slightly harder against the door. He sushed him. Sasuke slapped Naruto's hand away and gave him an angry look.

"What did you do?" He asked for the third time.

"That's a student," Naruto said, he had a little apologetic smile on his face. It seemed he found this entire situation funny. "Do you know Dokan?"

"Dokan, the sixth year?" Sasuke whispered.

"Yes, that's him now."

"Why is he a giant spider!" Sasuke hissed.

"There is a logical explanation here…" Naruto looked a bit scared. Sasuke grabbed Naruto by his collar and gave him by far the most angriest look Naruto had yet seen on Sasuke's face.

"You better say it now."

"So, it was breakfast and when Sakura and Ino passed the Slytherin table he stuck his leg out so Sakura would trip and then they he started laughing and called a mudblood."

"So you justified it by turning him into a spider?" Sasuke didn't seem pleased. "A Godzilla of a spider!"

"Well…Not entirely. I…I knew he had potions so I covered the potion door with scotch tape and when he walked in he freaked and he bumped against the a cupboard full of bottles and few fell on him and he turned into a giant spider."

Sasuke looked cluelessly at Naruto. He had no idea how to respond now. He ended up shaking his head.

"Stand back." Sasuke said, his hand reaching for the door.

"Wait, what are you going to do?" Naruto grabbed Sasuke by his arm to prevent him from walking away.

"I am cleaning up your mess." Sasuke pulled his arm back from Naruto.

"I don't think you understand; He is a giant poisonous spider." There was strangely enough a smile on Naruto's face. It felt like he thought of this as one big joke.

"And right now you turned a teenager with anger management problems into a death trap! One person has to give him a funny look and they are gone and he is in prison and you are suspended."

The smile in Naruto's face faded as it seemed the reality hit him.

"This is what you do, Naruto. You are impulsive and you don't think twice about the consequences of your actions. This. " Sasuke pointed at the door, indicating what was looking for them behind it, "is what I was talking about."

"I don't need you to clean up my messes. I can do it myself." Naruto defended himself.

"You were running away! Your solution was running away!" Sasuke raised his voice.

"Which is part one of my master plan, dattebayo!" Naruto argued back.

"Why don't you tell me step two?" Sasuke folded his arms.

"Hide in girl's bathroom." Naruto walked backwards, indicating around him.

"And what was step three?" Sasuke asked he still had a pissed off expression on his face. He let go of the door and walked towards Naruto who kept walking backwards away from the door. At this point Sasuke noted he was trying to make a lot of distance between them.

"Hide." Naruto softly said. "And wait for the problem to solve itself and hoping nobody knows it was me."

Sasuke opened his mouth to say something. To scold him, to scream at him to lecture him. However, he closed his mouth and turned away from the Uzumaki. Somehow this responds felt worse to Naruto than an hour long scolding for his actions. It felt like that on that particular moment, Sasuke Uchiha gave up on him.

"Wait!" Naruto could see the Uchiha look over his shoulder at him. His eyes were empty, trying to hide his emotions, but Naruto could tell he was disappointed. He felt his throat get numb and his conscious was shouting a hundred things to him, things he was suppose to say. However, none felt good enough, none of the words were actually coming out of his mouth.

The door of the girl's bathroom got kicked open. Sasuke had to bend down as the door flew right over his head on to the ground. The palps of the giant spider made their ways in the small door trying hard to grab on to somebody. Sasuke could feel the palps grab him and pull him right outside of the bathroom. He was dangling Sasuke upside down in front of his mouth. His eight eyes staring at him. His chelicera were moving and there was a screeching sound coming from his mouth. Sasuke's eyes widened by the sight of the fangs and he felt adrenaline pump through his veins. His eyes turned into the Sharingan as he looked right at the spider's eyes. There was a moment where the spider didn't move; as if he was petrified, but then he started running and screaming. He was jumping up and down, walking up and down on walls and dangling Sasuke around like he was a dog-toy. Sasuke tried to grab his wand, but due to the worst rollercoaster ride he was experiencing, his wand slipped right through his fingers and on to the ground.

Somehow, it felt better to have died in a tunnel than by a giant spider who used to be a student. The spider got attacked from behind and he jumped, turning around at the fourth-year Gryffindor who had his wand pulled out.

"LET HIM GO, DOKAN!" Naruto bellowed through the hallway. He swung his wand around and transfigured the spider's fangs into marshmallows. The spider ran towards him.

"Run, idiot!" Sasuke shouted, he felt his breakfast coming up by all the dangling he did. He covered his mouth with both his hands. It seemed the Space-Mountain Ride in Disneyland was a whole lot better than being held hostage by a student transformed into a spider.

Naruto didn't run, he just stood there, waiting. As the spider was close enough he swung his wand and shouted: "Petrificus totalus!" A big orange beam sprung out of Naruto's wand and powerful enough to cover the entire spider.

The eight legs sprang together and he froze on the floor. his palps instantly let go of Sasuke, throwing him in the air. Naruto ran backwards and held his arms out. Sasuke fell right in them; he looked up, trying to process everything that had happened. He turned his head to Naruto, their eyes met and Naruto smiled at him. The Uchiha's face looked pale.

"I got you," Naruto said. Sasuke suddenly turned his head away and barfed right on Naruto's shoes. Naruto looked ahead of him, not wanting to see the gruesome sight of his shoes being vomited under.

"I'm so sorry…" He could hear Sasuke softly whisper.

"I deserve it, don't worry about it." Naruto said, however he felt a little disgusted. He put Sasuke down on the floor and swung his wand, causing water to appear and wash the barf off his shoes. He turned to Sasuke who was leaning against the wall, he seemed very nauseous.

"Are you alright?" Naruto asked, approaching him.

"I haven't felt this sick since the day I ate too much fried food before riding the Pendulum." Sasuke sank through is knees to sit down on the floor.

"What is a Pendulum?" Naruto asked curiously, but he didn't get an answer. They looked at the spider that turned smaller and back into the student it once was.

"How did you do that?" Sasuke asked looking impressed at Naruto who was slowly shaking his head.

"That isn't me…" Naruto said, looking at the Slytherin Sixth year on the floor. He seemed to be able to move again. His eyes were shut and he rolled to his back. He seemed to be in a deep sleep.

Sasuke got up, standing next to Naruto while looking at Dokan. Maybe the combination of potions had worn off?

"It was I…"

Both Naruto and Sasuke turned around by the unfamiliar voice. Naruto pointed his wand at the strange man; he was tall and well-built with fair skin. He had a wart on the left side of his nose and waist-length, spiky white hair that was ties back into a pony tail while two shoulder-length bangs framed his face. There were red lines under his eyes which extended down his face. He was wearing a green short shirt kimono with matching pants and a red haori with two yellow circles on each side. He finished his outfit with a black belt and wooden sandals.

Naruto looked at Sasuke. The Uchiha shook his head slightly, indicating for Naruto to not let his guard down around the strange man that appeared out of nowhere.

"Who the heck are you…Or..What the heck are you?" Naruto looked suspiciously at the man.

"They know me as the Mountain Toad!" the man said with a big grin on his face. He whipped his hair back and stood in a pose he probably considered to be cool, "a spirit sage who acquires immortality, also commonly called the Toad Mountain Sage!" He struck a more dynamic pose now, showing his teeth in his smile.

Once again Naruto and Sasuke shared a look before looking at the weird man.

"And what…Exactly...Are you?" Naruto scratched his hair, narrowing his eyes. He didn't understand anything the man had just said.

"I am an author!" The man said, reaching in his pocket and grabbing a small travel sized book going by the name: "Make Out Paradise"

"'ve been there, dattebayo-" Naruto suddenly hissed in pain when Sasuke pushed his elbow in his guts. He quickly tried to compose himself.

"That's the book Professor Hatake keeps reading. The perverted one" Naruto recognised it before getting a better look at the cover," You're a pervert if you wrote that." Naruto commented, lowering his wand slightly.

The Mountain Toad Sage swung his fist around walking up to Naruto with an angry expression on his face.

"You fool! I'm not just a pervert!" He shouted, but stopped mid-way when he looked at the Uchiha's eyes. They were activated in the Sharingan. He lowered his fist, trying to compose himself.

"You are no Mountain Toad Sage… You are more a Pevert Sage." Naruto lowered his wand.

"Naruto, don't let your guard down." Sasuke told him.

"He is just some pervert. I don't think there is much special about him. Probably just passing by." Naruto whispered, covering his mouth from sight with his hand.

"I am one of the three legendary sanins! The defeater of Hanzo and the most legendary author in the world!" The man struck another pose again. Sasuke frowned by this. Somehow that description sounded semi-familiar

"Wait a second…" Naruto now put his wand away, causing Sasuke to give him an angry look.

"I know you! You are Jiraiya! I read about you on one of the chocolate frog cards!" Naruto pointed an accusing finger at him, "You didn't defeated Hanzo! You are just one out of three to have survived him in a duel."

"Well…" Jiraiya stood back straight, "You hadn't heard of him after we duelled him. So in a way…We defeated him."

"So you are an auror?" Sasuke asked.

"One of the best!" The man said, pointing his thumb at himself.

"Then you must know my dad Mi-" Sasuke covered Naruto's mouth before he could say anything.

"You are a perfect image of your father. If he is telling the truth he would know your father's name." Sasuke said looking back at Jiraiya.

"You are Fugaku's son, aren't you?" Jiraiya had a small smile on his face. Sasuke didn't answer. He only glared at the man. "Naruto, your father's name is Minato Namikaze. I actually trained him."

Naruto's eyes widened and he grabbed Sasuke's arm, squeezing it tightly. The Uchiha deactivated his Sharingan.

"Holy shit, you are master Jiraiya!" Naruto seemed to suddenly recall the man. "The master Jiraiya! My dad has me told all about you when I was a kid!"

"Oh," Jiraiya didn't even try to be humble, he had a proud look on his face, "Oh did the old man forget about his old teacher."

"No, I just stopped paying attention." At those words Jiraiya pride was hurt and it was clearly visible in his face. "Everybody thought you were dead. Nobody has heard of you in fourteen years! Dattebayo!" Naruto's eyes turned into mini-stars, shining brighter than the night sky as he looked at the men. He approached him and was talking so fast, Sasuke couldn't blame the men for wanting to shut him up. However, it seemed he liked getting the attention.

"What are you doing here?" Sasuke interrupted Naruto, causing a silence to fill the hall. "You did come out of nowhere."

"Sasuke.." Naruto indicated for him to stop interrogating the former Auror. Jiraiya didn't seem to mind.

"Kakashi Hataka left his post as Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. I have been asked by the headmaster to fill his position until he can find a replacement for the role." He had a serious tone in his voice.

"I was just heading to the headmaster." Sasuke said, seeing Jiraiya maintain a straight face. It seemed he wasn't lying.

"Don't forget this," Jiraiya held Sasuke's wand in his hand. "I found it down the hall, near the girl's bathroom. Not that you will be using it much, but I did learn over the years that it is saver to keep your wand close at all times."

Sasuke approached the man and took his wand back.

"Why wouldn't you be using it?" Naruto asked, turning his head around to Sasuke.

"Well," Sasuke felt a bit nervous. He was supposed to go to Hashirama's Office and used to flew network to go home. He hadn't told Naruto…He didn't even want to say goodbye to him. It all felt so awkward and uncomfortable and he wished he could just vanish from the spot.

"I'm going home for a while," Sasuke said.

Naruto frowned slightly.

"Wait…You were on your way?" He asked, "You didn't even come to tell me you were leaving." He had a sad expression on his face.

"And I was right not to. It wasn't even my intention to bump into you and yet I ended up almost being spider-food!" Sasuke snapped.

"I'm sorry, but it wasn't my fault he suddenly went mad! At first it seemed he was pretty conscious of what he was doing and the next second he wasn't."

Both boys glared at each other.

"Have you recently acquired your eye power?" Jiraiya asked curiously. Sasuke ignored the man, but Naruto answered: "during the battle of Hogsmeade, about four months ago...which would be one month for Sasuke because he was in a coma for like three."

"So you are not so familiar with the abilities of the Sharingan? I suspect you unconsciously put your opponent in an horrible illusion and he was reacting to it. That's why he went mental." Jiraiya explained. It seemed he wasn't so dumb as Sasuke thought he was. The man was thinking deeply, tapping his index finger on his chin.

"Could you put me in an illusion where I am on the beach surrounded by beautiful busty woman-"

"No!" Sasuke snapped, "and I don't need you teaching me about my own abilities! You're not my professor! I bet Hashirama has told you I won't be attending your classes very soon!" with these words Sasuke stormed off. He grabbed his rucksack and trunk which he had dropped on the way and finally arrived at Hashirama's office.

Note: There will be less/slower (if none at all) updates in January due to exams

#naruto #sasuke #hogwarts au #chapter 18 #slytherin #gryffindor #narusasu #sasunaru #Hogwarts #Fanfiction

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nclexexamination · 5 years

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Nurses Share 13 NCLEX Exam Tips That Helped Them on Exam Day

You’re at the point in your quest to become a nurse when passing the NCLEX is becoming a source of some anxiety. You’ve taken this long, intense journey to reach your nursing career and you definitely don’t want the NCLEX exam to throw a wrench into your plans.

So you’re researching everything you can on how to study for the NCLEX, gleaning advice from teachers and other students—and you’re going to bring your A-game when the exam arrives.

It’s a safe bet that most nurses have lost some sleep over how to pass the NCLEX. But those exact professionals have been there, conquered and are the perfect sources to give you the advice you need. We compiled NCLEX tips from seasoned nurses to help you pass the test with flying colors. Keep reading to hear their advice.

How to study for the NCLEX: Before exam day

As you know, passing the NCLEX has more to do with how you prepare before the exam itself. Our experts offer an array of ideas and habits that can help you gear up.

1. Study in a group

This may not be an option for everyone, but studying with other nursing students can do wonders for your discipline and retention. “A group of us studied together and asked one another questions which was the biggest help,” says registered nurse Penelope Carlevato.

Everyone’s mind works a little differently. If you study with other people, they might help you work through information in ways you never would have tried alone.

“As nervous as I was, I intentionally planned to take the NCLEX with several classmates so we could be together and encourage one another before we started the test,” says Lauren Mochizuki, RN and founder of Casa Mochi. Studying like this is also great practice for building and maintaining a supportive network of nursing friends—a valuable skill for your career.

2. Study while walking

“If there's an NCLEX podcast you like, listen to it while taking a walk,” says James Cobb, RN, MSN and blogger at the Dream Recovery System. Cobb goes on to say that walking is an underrated exercise, offering you fresh air, moderate activity and a chance to tie your mental focus to a simple activity.

“Just be sure to walk in a safe area with not too much traffic,” Cobb says. “That will enable you to listen to the podcast more clearly. Exercise is part of taking care of the NCLEX study machine.”

3. Set a sustainable schedule

After working through a nursing program for years, it’s understandable if test-focused studying for weeks or months beforehand doesn’t sound particularly appealing. But if you’re considering cramming for the NCLEX a few days before it goes down, think again.

Our experts explain that even the wording of the test questions requires some adjustment—you shouldn’t try to fly by without intentional study.“Set a studying schedule and stick to it,” Mochizuki says. “Whatever your schedule looks like, I would try to commit some time every day to studying.”

4. Study the exam itself

Check out the National Council of State Boards of Nursing (NCSBN) website to learn more about the NCLEX. You might be surprised by some of the information you gather. Knowing what to expect for the testing process and how questions will be formatted will help you utilize your nursing knowledge without extra barriers.

For instance, the NCLEX uses a method called computerized adaptive testing (CAT). With this method, every time you answer an item, the computer re-estimates your ability based on all the previous answers and the difficulty of those items. This means the sequence of questions will be different for everyone.

5. Take plenty of practice tests

While reading up on formats is a great idea, a practice test takes that principle to the next level.

“One of the most important things is to learn and understand how to take the test,” Mochizuki says. Standardized test formatting isn’t exactly intuitive. For example, questions might offer multiple answers that could be correct in a given scenario but penalize you unless you choose the most correct option.

Running practice questions can help you adjust to this. “The more questions I did, the more confident I became with the style of the test and how to interpret the questions appropriately,” Mochizuki says.

6. Cater toward your own learning style

Huge exams tend to make test-takers think rote memorization is the only way to succeed. But maybe you’ve learned a few things about your own learning style and habits through nursing school.

“Be aware of how you learn best,” Cobb says. “I had a book with a lot of bullet points that I’d visualize. Whatever your learning style is, incorporate some of your preparation using that learning style.”

7. Take care of your body

You might be thinking this is the NCLEX, not a marathon. But taking care to eat well, exercise and get enough sleep has an impact on your ability to learn, retain and recall information.

“Take care of yourself,” Cobb says. “Get plenty of rest. Eat healthfully. Until the exam is over, you’re an NCLEX study machine. Maintain the machine!”

8. Follow through on anything you’re hazy about

Maybe you’re studying with a friend or taking a practice test. Something pops up that you can’t quite remember or don’t really understand. Make a note somewhere so you can look it up later.

“At the end of every round of questions, I would go back and look up every single disease, medication, intervention, or anything else that I was unfamiliar with, and study it until I had a good handle on it,” Mochizuki says.

Passing the NCLEX: Tips for exam day

Whew! So you did the preparatory work, and now it’s time to face the music. Feeling nervous is probably inevitable. But here’s some advice on how to pass the NCLEX now that the day has arrived.

9. Carpool

If you are taking the NCLEX with friends, consider riding together to keep the camaraderie high and the panicking at a minimum. “We carpooled to the facility where we took the test and listened to uplifting music to get into a positive, mental headspace,” Carlevato says.

If you’ve been sharing this journey with other nursing students, going to the exam together can give you an extra boost of energy and good vibes—right when you need it most.

10. Come prepared

Plan to arrive early and dress comfortably. Bring an acceptable form of ID, such as a driver’s license. Don’t bother wearing any jingly jewelry and expect to leave your bag and electronics in a different room.

Make sure you’ve eaten, and drink plenty of water beforehand. It’s easy to reach for the largest coffee you can carry, but Carlevato says staying hydrated should also be a priority. You’ll feel much more alert and focused.

11. Don’t freak out

Everything has been going fine, but your brain is starting to feel frazzled. You keep checking the time. “I was near the end of the exam with minutes to go,” Cobb says. “I got nervous. It shouldn’t have taken as long as it was taking if I was going to pass, right?”

Cobb admits nerves got the best of him as he started picking random answers to hurry toward the end of the exam. “Somehow I ended up passing, but selecting answers at random is never the right approach.”

If you start to feel panicky, take a deep breath and ask yourself what’s the worst thing that could happen? Cobb suggests. “It’s that you fail, right? If you fail, you get to take it again.” You’ve likely mastered a few promising stress-reducing techniques during your time in nursing school. Employ those same methods while preparing for and taking the NCLEX exam.

There’s a lot riding on the NCLEX, but a failure isn’t the necessarily the end of the line for your nursing career. “Believe in yourself and believe in the quality of your preparation,” Cobb says.

12. Try to visualize each situation

Keep in mind that the NCLEX is testing your skills as a new nurse and not as a seasoned one. Envision each scenario in your head and think about what you’d do based on what you’ve learned.

“I had worked as a nurse’s aide for several years,” Carlevato says. “When I took the test, I used my experiences with real patients to work through problems.”

13. Trust yourself

You’ve come this far, and that’s no small achievement. Mochizuki says dwelling on positive thoughts makes it easier to think clearly. “When in doubt, go with your first instincts! This is what you went to school for, for the last several years. Go out and show the world what you were made to do!”

#NCLEX

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zukoscomet · 7 years

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The Thirty-Something Years of Half-Jobs

Find it here on AO3. Modernverse established Bellarke fic. Intended one shot. For now ;)

“Clarke, have we become that couple?”

“What couple? You’re going to have to be a little more specific.”

“The couple that gets engaged but never actually gets married.”

Clarke and Bellamy had had a normal little love affair, nothing to sing ballads or write books about. They’d met at high school. Clarke had always considered herself the smartest person in any class. That was until the Blakes came to town. Bellamy became her first deskmate since Wells had died the previous year.

In a typical love story, here’s the part with immediate connection and heart eyes.

Instead, there begun the infamous Griffin-Blake rivalry.

If Clarke got 38 out of 40 on a pop quiz, Bellamy would get 39. Clarke would deliberately trigger fiercely-whispered arguments with him, only for Bellamy to diffuse it with a slick quote he had up his sleeve. Clarke Griffin had met her match, the whole school would snigger when they walked past to their desks.

Clarke found the teasing merciless, especially when she did indeed find arch-frenemy somewhat attractive.

She thought she would be leaving Bellamy Blake behind when she got her acceptance letter to Harvard Med School. Only to find out the next day that Bellamy had received one to the Law School, too.

Two degrees, two graduations, a shared apartment, many semi-romantic dinner dates, and seven extra years later, Clarke found herself engaged to be a Blake herself with Bellamy next to her in bed, rather than at a desk.

Not that the rivalry had ever completely ended.

Clarke sat up against the headboard. Her clock said 07:53. “You want to get married?”

“I’m not in any rush,” His voice was muffled by the pillow he had pressed to his face. “I’m just saying. We’ve been together for eleven years now, engaged for six of those, and we’ve never even looked at a date.”

“Yeah well, we’ve never been exactly fast to do anything romantic, have we? Took you all of first year to ask me out.”

“Don’t bring up my awkward nineteen-year-old romantic ineptitudes. I had no father figure to teach me any moves for the ladies until your mom started dating Kane. Worry not, I’m smooth as cream cheese on a bagel now.”

Clarke couldn’t help but laugh. “You wish. I just came to find your nerdiness attractive by overexposure. You wore me down over the years, I think.”

Bellamy huffed, rolling from his stomach onto his back. “I think you’d make me a beautiful bride.”

He was distracted, groaning as he stretched his limbs and flipped his hair from his eyes but Clarke’s stomach fluttered still. It always did when he said anything even remotely intimate. In this aspect, Clarke was more a taker than a giver.

“You’d be an okay groom,” she winked, watching him push the covers away as he swung his legs out of bed.

“Thanks, babe. I’m flattered.”

Bellamy had grown even more appealing in his thirties. He was broader, more muscular. He didn’t gel his hair anymore, rather letting it grow out thicker, like the stubble on his face. More freckles had come in across his shoulders and at the top of his spine. He’d been working on his ass, too, if Clarke was anyone to judge by feeling.

Clarke yawned as she picked up her glass. “You’re the lawyer. Apply for a marriage license. We’ll go to the city clerk’s office. Get the license. Wait the twenty-four hours, then do the ceremony.”

Bellamy paused in clinching his belt. “You want to get married this week?”

“Well, why not?”

“Where are we going to get a priest for a wedding ceremony in a day?”

“This is New York, remember.”

“Right,” Bellamy snorted. “But what about everything else? Where are we going to do this? Who are we going to invite? Who’s actually going to make it? There’s tons of things to consider, Clarke. Weddings take years to plan. Look how hard we worked on Octavia and Lincoln’s gig. We have no rings, no dresses for you or any bridesmaids. What about the catering the cake, music, flowers, all that shit? A honeymoon-”

“We’ll just go to the cabin for a week or so. No big deal. We don’t need to have a big ceremony or anything. We’re just making what we’ve already got official, right?” Clarke shrugged, taking a sip of water.

When she turned to look at him, Clarke had never seen such a solemn look on her partner’s face. There was a look in his eyes that she didn’t quite like. Pity, maybe.

“It is a big deal, Clarke. I want it to be,” He knelt before and reached for her hands, entwining them in her lap. “I want you to have your big white wedding, with everyone we love there.”

“Bellamy, our whole life up till this point has been half-jobs. The whole wedding idea is just one of many, ” she squeezed his hand tightly. “Buying a house. Getting another pet. Going on holiday. Changing jobs. God, how many times have we seriously talked about having a baby, but never actually got me off the pill?

Something in Bellamy’s eyes flickered. He wanted that. Badly.

“For once, let’s see something through and get married. I don’t care whether it’s just you and me, or my whole fucking Facebook friends list and extended family. I just want to marry you, Bellamy.”

“I want to marry you, too.”

Clarke smirked, sticking her ring finger up at him. “Obviously.”

The next thing she knew, Bellamy was kissing her. His hands were on her shoulders, pushing her back down on the bed beneath him. His skin was so hot against hers, burning like a fire. Clarke pushed his unbuttoned shirt from his shoulders, as Bellamy did the rest for her.

Bellamy Blake, the ever-constant enabler of sexual encounters.

Octavia was going to have to settle in at the airport because her ride was sure as hell going to be late.

#bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #bellamy blake #clarke griffin #bellamy x clarke #engagement fic #wedding fic #the 100 #the 100 fanfiction #modern au #bellarke modern au

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climatenowornever · 7 years

Text

Back In The Ring

I had hoped last November 8 would be a night of vindication and triumph.

For much of the previous two years, I had devoted myself to electing a Democrat to succeed Barack Obama in the White House. I volunteered first for the Bernie campaign and then for Hillary’s. I attended several organizing meetings. I made dozens of phone calls, eventually memorizing my pitch. I made impassioned blog posts. I live-tweeted the convention. I made new friends on the trail. I canvassed in Dover, NH two days before the election.

My efforts were primarily motivated by the transformation of the Republican Party during Obama’s time in office. I saw a party that from day one had been consumed with sabotaging Obama’s presidency and retaking power at all costs. Before Obama even took office, GOP leaders decided they would fight him on every bill rather than work together to bring the country out of the worst recession in decades. And so they did. They mercilessly assailed Obama as a far-left socialist and his policies as radical. Never mind that his proposals were by and large centrist – like the Affordable Care Act’s individual mandate, which was based on a plan created by the conservative Heritage Foundation in 1993.

When the GOP took the House in 2011, they took obstructionism and cynicism to absurd heights and ground the government to a halt. Republicans in Congress refused to compromise on even the most benign of bills and were willing to default on the national debt and send the economy into a death spiral in order to deny Obama any victories. They wasted millions of taxpayer dollars on endless Benghazi investigations, a repugnant display of phony patriotism that was a naked effort to destroy Hillary Clinton’s 2016 campaign before it began. Then they took the Senate in 2014 and things got even worse. The GOP’s refusal to hold confirmation hearings on Merrick Garland was an outrageous dereliction of duty, one without precedent in our nation’s history.

Just as concerning as the GOP’s obstructionism, I saw a party that was actively creating an alternate universe of paranoia and conspiracies, much of it intertwined with ugly strains of bigotry. Look no further than the birther movement, which our current president spearheaded – a blatantly racist effort to delegitimize our first black president. Then there was the zombie lie that Obama, probably the most vetted candidate in history, was an unknowable enigma about whom we really knew nothing. During the 2008 campaign, Obama remarked that the Republicans couldn’t win on the issues, so their only option was to make him out to be a “scary guy.” How right he was. The right’s crusade to make Obama the boogeyman was despicable and smacked of xenophobia and racism.

The rise of faux-news sources like Fox News, Breitbart, and talk radio has enabled these crazy ideas to gain traction. Many Republican voters and Congressmen now get their “facts” from sources that are propaganda machines wholly divorced from reality. Doesn’t matter that thousands of educated scientists around the world agree that climate change is real – Sean Hannity and Matt Drudge and Hugh Hewitt call it a hoax, and that’s who many on the right trust. With millions of people being fed lies every night of Obama’s presidency, it’s little wonder that Obama found no takers in his efforts to build a governing coalition.

Against this backdrop, it wasn’t all that surprising to see Donald Trump rise from the swamp and become the face of the Republican Party. The GOP base had been hurtling rightward ever since Obama came on the national scene. Years of anti-Obama hysteria created a primary electorate that detested its own leadership almost as much as Obama. While Rubio and Bush and Cruz were just as fact-free as Trump, none of them told the base exactly what they wanted to hear. The very fact that they held office made them the enemy – even Cruz, whose sole mission in life is to take down the federal government from the inside. Not good enough. The base wanted a strongman free of Washington taint, one who would validate all of their conspiracy theories and promise to bring back the 1950’s America they so craved. They found their savior in Trump.

So, on every issues I cared about – climate change, voting rights, gun control, LGBT rights – I saw a party that was backwards, rigid, out of touch, and just plain wrong. And Trump embodied the very worst elements of it.

While I cast informed votes in 2008 and 2012, my level of involvement in these elections was fairly low. I followed both races closely, but I didn’t feel the need to volunteer and have any skin in the game. I was content to be a spectator, watching the action from afar before casting my vote on Election Day.

I knew from the start of the interminable 2016 cycle that I wouldn’t be on the sidelines for this one. On climate change alone, the stakes were too high. The fragile progress Obama had somehow made in the face of irrational GOP opposition hung in the balance. I wouldn’t let Congressional Republicans destroy it without putting up a fight.

It seemed 2016 might finally force the GOP to get with the program. They had lost the last two presidential elections. They were deeply unpopular with Latinos, Millennials, and other fast-growing demographics. And they kept shooting themselves in the foot. Efforts by moderate Republicans to make the party more inclusive, like the bipartisan 2013 Senate immigration bill, were consistently derailed by party hardliners. I believed a third consecutive Democratic victory would mean 1 of 2 things for the GOP: it would force them to stand up to their base and get with the times, or it would seal their demise as the country’s demographic shifts continued. Either outcome was fine by me.

After I cast my vote on Election Night, I went to a watch party hosted by the local Hillary chapter. I wasn’t exactly confident heading into Rockafellas restaurant that night. It had been too garish and gut-wrenching a campaign to be sure of anything. But I did believe, in the end, love and reason would win out over hatred, ignorance, and fear. I pictured the cheers that would erupt when Hillary was projected the winner. I saw myself shouting at the screen, “Love trumps hate! Love trumps hate!” I planned to blast Fitz and the Tantrums’ “Handclap” when I got home to celebrate.

Things went downhill in a hurry. At first nothing seemed amiss. Trump was winning the deep-red states as expected. But it soon became clear nothing was breaking Hillary’s way. Every swing state was neck-and-neck. The map was filling up with red. Then Trump started pulling away in Florida. I started to dread the sight of MSNBC’s vote-tally graphic imposed on a shot of 30 Rock Plaza, for each update just brought bad news. My fellow Hillary supporters became stone-faced and silent. The crowd started thinning out as the night wore on.

The moment I knew it was over was when I checked electoral-vote.com’s live blog. The Votemaster described the results to that point as “nothing short of stunning” and likened it to the blown Brexit polls. All the air went out of my balloon. I tried to keep my spirits up, but I could see it slipping away. If the results were this close this late in the evening, it wasn’t going to end well. My thoughts turned to Gore voters in 2000. Now I knew what they had felt on that fateful night 16 years prior.

The next morning, on 4 hours sleep, I turned on the TV and saw the headline that, 2 years earlier, no sane person would have believed possible: “Donald Trump Elected President.”

So began a long, painful healing process as I struggled to make sense of the senseless during the cold, dark Massachusetts winter. How could this have happened? How could a man who represented the worst of humanity have conned so many people? Why hadn’t Latino voters rallied to defeat a racist who had built his campaign on anti-immigrant bigotry? Why did swing state Democrats fall down on the job and hand Trump the victory? Was truth now dead? Could we ever trust polls again? What did it say about our country – about human nature in general? I’m not a naïve man, but I’ve always believed most people were basically good and rational. Now it seemed the cynics had been proven right. Trump had gone all-in on bigotry, fear mongering, and lies, and he had won.

For a while, I shut myself off from all of it. I didn’t want to think about all of the damage that Trump would do over the next four years. I didn’t want to know which idiot would be heading which department. I quit Facebook for several weeks, not wanting to be exposed to the outside world. I stopped watching the news and reading political blogs. I considered going off the grid until 2020, or at least the 2018 midterms. It seemed easier than watching an authoritarian lout wage war on everything I cared about.

Gradually, however, I started taking baby steps back into the world of politics. I snuck glances at the paper. I resumed watching Real Time With Bill Maher, which had been my favorite show for years. I ventured back onto Facebook and began the desensitization process. And I started looking for ways to get involved again and join the resistance.

The reason I got back in the game is simple: I care about my country and my planet. And since I care about them, I can’t stick my head in the sand for four or eight years. The world needs motivated people like me more than ever. I have found that, hard as it is to accept the horror and injustice of this world, it is generally better to be informed and take action than to turn away.

I’ve been heartened by the groundswell of opposition that has materialized since November 8 – the people standing up at town halls, the massive Women’s March, the grassroots campaigns springing up all over the country. It has restored some of my faith in humanity. In the words of Bill Maher, we’re still here. Those of us who defend the environment and civility and tolerance and truth will not roll over and let ugly, hateful people remake America in their image. We will fight. We’ll win some battles and lose others. But I believe the overall direction of this country will continue to move toward inclusion, love, and respect for the Earth.

Some may see this as an anti-Republican piece. That is not my intent. I have no ill will towards anyone. There are GOP lawmakers and pundits that I like and respect, even thought I disagree with them strongly on some issues. Most Republicans are good people who are often far ahead of their representatives on issues like climate change. And I will be the first to acknowledge there are bad ideas and intolerant people on the left. I’ve seen them firsthand. But I will call out bigotry and ignorance when I see it, and I refuse to promote false equivalencies to avoid offending anyone.

In closing, I don’t regret my leave of absence. I did what I had to do to come to terms with Trump’s election, which I believe will go down as one of our country’s worst moments. But I’m glad to be back in the ring. And I know that, even though that night at Rockafellas ended badly for me and millions of others, there will be election nights in the future that end joyfully. And you can bet I’ll have my rallying cries and victory songs at the ready.

#resist #election #trump #hillary #climate #climate change #national women's day #obama #latinos #millennials #environment #obamacare #affordable care act #nodapl #nokxl #bill maher #bernie #bernie sanders

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setoangel01-fanfiction · 7 years

Text

Allowance

Crazy - Chapter 21 (Previous Chapters)

Rated: T

Chapter Summary: Mikey confronts Raphael and the red banded turtle can't believe what he's hearing…

Fanfiction.net

A03

Raphael lumbered back into the lair; heart palpitating frantically in his chest and body a mass of nerves that was ready to implode any second. He wanted nothing more than to just go pound on his punching bag or lift weights until he felt absolutely nothing but the searing white pain enveloping every muscle in his arms and shoulders. He was still adamant he made the right decision not to kiss April but it still hurt like fuckin' hell to have ultimate euphoria so close and to just not take it.

He'd relished in always been the rebel, the risk-taker, the one who defied all logic and expectations to do whatever the hell he deemed fit…but with April, it was a whole different ballgame.

April made him want to curse, scream, cry, rage before ultimately kissing the very ground she walked on. To grovel at her feet for only the sheer opportunity to kiss the tips of her dainty fingers. Totally enamored with her very being and presence yet so hopelessly angry she could cause such an effect on him. The intense diversity of these overwhelming emotions were none he could possibly begin to understand. She was his muse, his obsession, his deepest desire for the sheer opportunity to just stay in her mere presence….he was certain she'd be the untimely death of him.

No one had ever made him feel this way; it was like he wasn't in control of his body or mind; everything about her just encapsulated his very being and he was merely the puppet to her pulling the invisible strings.

If only she knew the power she had over him…

Over the one turtle who rebelled against everything; was selfish and hotheaded, never letting anyone in and always pushing others away…yet she had him in the palm of her hand; turning him into muddy green turtle putty without any effort whatsoever. It was absolutely maddening how much of a hold she had over him…

Pathetic was what it was.

It was like he was helplessly cast underneath her spell; adrift in a tidal wave of intense, soul-crushing emotions without any chance of coming up for air. Lost in a sea of her every wanton desire; for an opportunity for her to notice him as more than a friend; a confidant…a mutated turtle freak. He wanted her to see him as more than just his scaly flesh and reptile blood. Raph wanted April to see into his heart; to allot her the knowledge of how much he really cared about her…loved her like he loved no one else before or could imagine loving since…yet every single fiber in his being knew it would never be the case.

Feet dragging slightly, he moved into the weight room adjacent the open living area.

Going about subconsciously, he moved over to the cabinet and pulled out a roll of white bandage tape. Wrapping up his knuckles and fingers before he lost his mind to his body. Mindlessly slamming the bag of sawdust and sand with raw knuckles and sore knees just to numb the sensation of her finger tips that still ghosted over his neck. To cloud over the scent of her minty breath, so wanton and close. Damn, he could still smell her; that mane of hair that always carried the aroma of spring flowers, aloe, and a scarce hint of coconut oil.

Even if his body was completely enamored with working out or otherwise, she still never was far from his thoughts; his internal musing of which she always played the key role. Never wandering far from his fleeting subconscious; her heart-shaped face, beautiful hourglass frame, breathy laughter, soft voice, cornflower blue eyes, and wave after wave of bouncy dark chocolate locks cascading over her thin shoulders.

April was all he could think about.

Yet it wasn't just physical; she was far more than just a pretty face and stellar body. Unconditional love, kindness and loyalty far outweighing her beauty and putting it to shame. Caring about them when she had nothing to gain; pushing past the world's standards to look past their physicality and still deeply care about them as no human dared to before or since. To see they were more than just freakish mutants. Raphael would be the first to admit that it may have been her beauty than tempted him initially, but it was her personality that completely sucked him in. She was like a drug, constantly invading at every opportune moment just to prove how weak he really was.

For all his fronting and badassery, he was just a mere puppet, a mere pawn to his obsession for April O'Neil.

It was pathetic, sickening, and convoluted but right now, he didn't give a flying fuck. He supposed he always would be cast adrift on the sea of her memories; her very being and presence so intoxicating. Breathing in nothing but her til his lungs gave out. The visions of her smile in his mind's eye; her voice and smell so potent. She wasn't just a want, it was more of a necessity; to never let go and to hopelessly surrender to the emotions she brought out in him. Everything inside of him screamed in rebellion over her vice grip she carried on his heart but he ignored those. Surrendering to this obsession was so easy yet when he found himself with her...it was so different.

If only he could…

"RAPH!" a scream shattered whatever hell reality he'd been thrust into.

All of a sudden, his eyes cleared up to see the very confused, bemused face of Michelangelo staring up at him from the other side of the punching bag. The shock of seeing his orange-banded brother there was nothing to a sudden a strange pain in his hands brought him fully out of whatever trance he was under.

Chancing a glance down, Raphael realized his knuckles had long ago been bleeding; the rust colored, sticky substance now permanently staining the battered gray bag and the once white bandages.

"Fuck!" Raphael growled in great annoyance; the sting from his hands numbing any embarrassment his little trance may have caused.

"Raph?!" Mikey asked again in a quieter tone but Raphael visibly jumped at it anyway.

"Mike. Ya scared the shit outta me! The fuck you want?" Raph growled low in his throat; internally punching himself for talking to Mikey like that when it probably wasn't warranted. Ignoring how his breath was choppy and his pupils partially dilated; likely looked like some mindless zombie. Internally, he wondered just how long he was out of it…

"Nothin'," he replied with a dramatic shrug, "Ya were just making a ruckus in here; thought I'd make sure ya weren't breaking anything like last time."

Raphael rolled his eyes at his answer; pushing back his shoulders before going back at toward the bag with gusto if only to drown out whatever other stupid thing Mikey would say next. He continued this for a few minutes as he waited for the youngest brother to speak, but he didn't; he also didn't leave.

As time went on, it became painfully obvious that Mikey didn't seem to have any desire to vacate the room anytime soon. So much for some damn peace and quiet…

Well aware that his youngest brother was not going to just go away without prompting, Raphael spoke up.

"What do you want, Mike?" Raph grunted, the words punctuated by each blow his fists dealt the saw dust bag. Mikey didn't immediately answer so he spoke again, "Where are Don and Leo? Go annoy them cause I sure as hell ain't in the mood for dis."

"Donnie's asleep and it's Leo turn for patrol." Mikey replied with a lazy shrug. From the corner of his eye, Raphael watched as he kicked at some invisible dirt around on the tattered concrete floor. "Splinter finally let me leave the Hashi just a few minutes ago cause he got tired of standing there watchin' me to make sure I wasn't goofin' off…"

The audible shift that took place in the youngest turtle's voice did not go unnoticed by Raphael. Fists slowing down only slightly, he grunted before replying, "Did ya come here just to squeeze an apology from me, or what? Ya gettin' sent to the Hashi wasn't my damn fault; dat shit was all you, so dontcha hold yer breath on that one, Mike."

"I don't want an apology." the youngest muttered under his breath.

That was enough to stop Raphael cold.

"...What?" he breathed out, hating how his voice took an octave shift with the clenching of his throat.

"I said, I don't want an apology."

"Then what do you want? I ain't exactly in the mood to entertain ya." Raph grumbled out, forcing his vision to study the nicks and grooves on the bag in front of him.

"I know, that. I'm just…I-I'm just wondering why you didn't even bother to tell me that you and April were…ya know - a 'thing'?" Mikey muttered under his breath but Raphael heard it perfectly and his body and mind had the reaction you would expect.

"WHAT!?" he nearly screeched; cheeks and heart aflame at the very accusation. His body was honed in fight or flight mode and it was leaning toward the latter with every painful second that ticked by. How dare Mikey assume even anything was going on, let alone THAT!? Heart a fiercely guarded secret that no one better damn near know nothing about…

"Yeah…It's kinda hard not to notice something is goin' on between ya."

"Heh," Raph couldn't help but chuckle if only because he had no other idea of how to react, "M-Mike, I think ya got the wrong idea. There is nothing going on." Denying it was always the easiest route after all.

"No use lying to me now, Raph. The least you could do for stealing my girl is be honest with me." Mikey flat out admitted and Raphael almost swallowed his tongue at the firmness of his youngest brother's voice.

"S-Steal yer girl?! What the actual fuck gave ya that idea? April is just a friend! I -" Raphael staunchly denied in a louder voice than probably necessary; hating and trying to ignore how hot his face had become and heart palpitating uncomfortably in his chest. Deplored how his body instantly reacted to Mikey calling April "his girl" bothered him more than usual.

"How do you know?" the youngest interrupted; angry blue eyes staring up defiantly at him. Quite a rare sight indeed…usually he was scared shit-less by his massive older brother and his domineering ways and rightly so.

"...What?" it seemed as if that was his only answer for most things tonight.

"Heh. It's so obvious. I mean, she spends a helluva lot of time with you considering she's just a 'friend'," Mikey reiterated with air-quotes, "Always inviting you over and you even spending the night sometimes. All the special treats she brings you and all the movies you guys watch together… I guess I just ignored it before, but... I dunno. She's different with you than she is with any of us." Mikey just seemed nonplussed now; averting his gaze and beginning to pace around the crowded space.

It reminded him far too much of too many moments prior.

How Mike usually sought him out and told him something he was afraid to tell anyone else. While he normally wore his heart on his sleeve, there were certain things Michelangelo only relayed to Raphael. A certain aspect of their relationship; a trusted bond that allowed Raph to hear things their other family members would be impervious to. It astonished him how much Mikey had trusted him with these secrets and he knew what Mike was relaying him wasn't easy for anyone; even him.

Yet another side of him refused his youngest brother's words. His own doubts and speculations about his own emotions bringing out his normal rebellion.

"Yer out of yer fuckin' mind!" Raph growled, eagerly returning to his beat-down on the punching bag even as his knuckles protested. Desperate to drown out his own thoughts as well as Mikey's continuing rant.

"Am I? Ya sure it's not you, bro? You typically got your head shoved so far up your ass that you barely notice anything around here! Let alone the way she looks at you!" Mikey interrupted, bravely pulling back on the punching back so Raphael couldn't reach it.

"Mike! Fuckin stop it! Ya don't know what the hell yer talking about!" Raphael bellowed, reaching back over to pull it back but Mikey dodged it. His cheeks were aflame and his heart was thundering against his rib-cage.

"MIKEY!" Raphael fired a warning shot in the form of a feral roar.

"Just fuckin' listen to me, Raph!" Mikey shouted; blue eyes defiant and angry for one of the first times Raphael could remember. His normally laid back clown of a brother had shifted and it was enough to give Mikey a chance to speak.

"What about tonight? You don't think I saw that!?"Mikey asked, gesturing loosely to the direction of the living room. "You landed right on her tonight but instead of flinchin' and demandin' you get off of her…she looked like she wanted ya to kiss her or somethin'…and for a second, I kinda thought you would."

Raphael froze like a deer in the headlights.

"You may think I'm stupid Raph, but you must be completely deaf, dumb, and blind if ya can't see the way she looks at you…How she always looked at you…" Mikey turned away, "…I-I just wished I noticed it sooner to save myself the heartbreak." the words were softly-spoken, melancholy almost, as Raphael's clenched fists released.

Raphael stood as if stuck in a loophole of time. Body tense and stiff as his eyes finally gravitated toward Michelangelo to really look at him. Back was turned and shell most of what he could see but the slightly trembling in his shoulders gave him away and Raphael felt his heart rupture. As hair-brained and empty-headed as Mikey was most of the time, there was no denying the truth of the words he spoke and the conviction of which he said them.

…Mikey wouldn't have said any of it if he didn't mean it…

Catching his breath, he allowed Mike's words to flush over his body. To register the truth of them. Yeah, April and him did spend an awful lot of time together…alone mostly. She always went out of her way to invite him over, buy him food. Brought over movies he liked and took time out of her hellish schedule to see him at least a once or twice a week…But that didn't mean anything…right? April spent time with his other brothers too. Yeah, she may have spent more time with him personally but he assumed it was just because they liked the same movies. It still didn't answer exactly why she called or texted him to see how he was daily…not his brothers, but him…

…why would she do that if she didn't…

"See?" Mikey suddenly spoke bringing the elder brother out of his thoughts; he saw Mikey now looking at him and the sadness lacing those blue eyes didn't belong there. "I think it's more than that, Raph…actually, I know there is. Take it for whatever that is but… I dunno."

Raphael's throat felt tight as his eyes rose to the face of his brother. An utter sadness that he hated lingered there. "Y-You think she…" he stuttered before his tongue completely gave out.

"Hell, I dunno. I'm just tellin' you what I see. I may not know a lot about humans but I think I've seen enough chick flicks to warrant a lot of it…" Mikey shrugged.

"Mike…" Raph growled.

"You have to admit she spend a lot of one-on-one time with you and I doubt it's 'cause of your sparkling personality."

Raph didn't know how to answer that.

"What about you? I know it's kind of a stupid question, but, do you like her that way?" Mikey asked, peering curiously at Raphael.

Raph's face felt like it was on fire; averting his amber eyes quickly before Mikey could see the shifting emotions in them.

"What the hell does it matter?" Raphael finally muttered out. What the fuckin' hell good would lying do now anyway?

"Whataya mean?"

"It ain't gonna happen, Mike." Raph replied with a dejected chuckle, loathing how his chest tightened painfully to verbally admit it. Yet, he supposed the sooner he came to terms with it, the better off he would be.

"How do you know?"

"Mike, I doubt April -"

"Look, Raph. You have an opportunity here that any of us would die for!" Mikey suddenly shouted and Raphael jumped at the pain lacing his voice. Amber eyes gravitated toward Mikey and he wished he didn't. Tears laced those sad blue eyes and it damn near broke his heart to see his little brother in that condition…

"Mike…" Raph breathed.

"Listen to me, Raph. It doesn't matter how little of a chance there is - it's still a chance! Why would you let it hold you back when this is a once in a lifetime opportunity! I mean, seriously, bro! There ain't too many girls knocking at our door. April is here and she really cares about you. I know she does…"

"...y-you think?"

Mikey shrugged, a sad smile lifting the corners of his mouth. "Heh. Well, you lucky bastard, if I were you, I wouldn't pass it up even if there was only a single chance in hell. I'd fuckin' hold on and never let go…but hey, that's just me."

Raphael grew silent.

Mind a torrent of emotions he could scarcely deal with but a sudden alarm sounding had anything he may or not have said fall to the wayside.

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byakushisakura-writing · 6 years

Text

Ying Yang

Alex is arrogant and selfish, he caused his brothers death and felt no remorse and even eternity as the incarnation of death hasn’t helped.

Ryan is dying and doesn’t ask for anything, he’s so young and yet his life is already being torn away, but he still puts everyone else first.

Alex sighed as he looked at the soul floating in front of him, unsure of which way to go. As soon as he took hold of it the machines started beeping, indicating that the man was dead. He took no notice of the noise as it was something that he had heard a million times before.

As he went to leave the hooded figure heard a small sound.

"Are you here to take me as well?" The boy asked.

Alex looked over and saw a boy who was no older than 16. "I do not take one's life, my job is merely to collect the souls of the already deceased who were neither purely good nor evil in life." He explained. "But why do you not fear me, child?"

The boy shrugged. "I'm not going to live long." He explained. "They don't think I know, but I hear the doctors talking to my parents."

The young man just remained silent, not too sure how to answer, seeing that the boy's life would indeed be quite short.

"Death…" He started before being interrupted.

"Please, my name is Alex, Death is just the office I hold."

The boy nodded. "Alex, can I feel your hand?" He asked, being amazed by the bones.

He nodded and reached out his hand, watching as the boy curiously touched it.

"But it feels normal." He said in amazement. Another nod from Alex. "It is a simple façade, A trick of the office to keep me safe from harm." He said before removing his hood to reveal the face of a boy who had just barely reached adulthood.

The boy smiled widely. "That’s cool! Will you visit me next time you come here?"

Alex raised an eyebrow slightly, it was a strange request, especially from one so young. "I will try." He told him in the end.

It was several days later when Alex was at the hospital again, he wasn’t really even thinking of the boy until he heard a familiar voice calling his name. He turned around and looked at him.

"Do you ever leave here, Child?" He asked

"My name is Ryan." He told him. "I don't leave very often. My parents can't afford home care." He explained sadly.

Alex frowned, he found himself feeling sorry for the boy. "Do they visit you?"

He nodded. "They try to visit as much as they can, but they're very busy."

Alex examined the other, trying to figure out why he was in the hospital in the first place. "What is wrong with you?" He finally asked. "You do not seem to have any physical ailments."

"There's something wrong with my heart." He told him. "I don't think even the doctors know, they just keep telling me it's sick."

"Can they not give you a new heart?"

Ryan shrugged. "I'm on a list to receive a transplant but it's unlikely I'll ever get one, I have a rare blood type."

Alex just nodded and looked at his watch. "I must be leaving now." He said before turning around to leave.

"Please visit me again, it gets lonely here." Ryan called after him as he disappeared.

Alex did visit again, several times over the next few months though he never stayed more than a few minutes.

"Alex? You never told me how you became death. Were you like me before?" Ryan asked during one of the visits.

Alex smiled at the boy's question. "Not necessarily, I was alive, but I wasn't like you. It was 500 years ago, but I wasn't happy."

"Why weren't you happy?"

"I was all alone."

"Is that why they made you death?"

He shrugged. "That might have been part of it, but this position was meant to be a punishment."

"Why? What did you do?"

Alex looked at the younger male, he smiled but his eyes showed sadness. "I caused my brothers death and showed no remorse."

"Oh…" Ryan said, he was surprised but there was no fear in his voice. "Why did you do it?"

He shrugged. "I thought it would be fun."

The younger male bit his lip, almost dreading his next question. "And was it?"

Alex sighed. "I'll admit that back then it was…"

"What about now?"

He thought for a second before shaking his head. "It haunts me, every day I think about it, wishing I could go back in time." He said before looking at him. "Does my past not scare you?"

Ryan smiled and shook his head. "No, I can tell that you're not like that anymore, you may be Death but you don't kill people."

Alex was becoming fond on the boy whom he had only known for a few short months and upon getting up to leave he turned to look at him. "Do not fear, I shall return." He told him.

The next time he came back it was of his own accord and not because of a death, this continued on for quite some time and began to become more frequent, soon he would visit nearly every day.

He started to notice changes in the child, he was paler and would sit up less often, and even had to pause to catch his breath or cough when speaking.

Alex watched the face of the friend who had become his first love, it had been almost a year since they met.

"Alex…?" The boy asked softly as he turned to face him, his eyes had become sunken over the last several days. "I've thought about this a-a lot… so please don’t try to stop me." He stopped to cough briefly. "I want you to take me away from here… "I-I don't want to die in a hospital."

Alex held the boy's hand and nodded slightly. "I understand…"

Ryan hugged the elder male and cried into his chest.

Alex wiped some of the other's tears, on the verge of crying himself.

He kissed the younger males forehead. "Don't worry, I'll take you away from this place." He said before picking up the other male in his arms and carrying him right through the wall, chuckling when Ryan gasped as they passed through what had previously been solid to him.

"B-but what about the doctors? And my parents, they'll be worried."

Alex smiled. "Do you really want them to be fussing over you as you die?"

The boy shook his head. "No, I don't want that."

"Then don't worry, I took care of it." He said as they started to move faster, so fast that the world itself seemed to be moving instead. After a minute they stopped and Ryan looked around, they were at the top of a hill that overlooked his town, they could see everything.

"It's so beautiful." He said softly as Alex helped him to sit, but even this soon became too much in his weakened state and he lay with his head on the elder males lap.

Alex knew for many months that this day was to come, but nothing could have prepared him for it. He sat there silently and watched the face of the only person he had ever loved.

Ryan opened his eyes and looked at the other. "What about work?" He asked weakly.

Alex smiled and ran his fingers through the other's hair. "I am at work."

"But my soul isn't balanced."

"To decide to die and do it away from your family is a selfish act, it was this which balanced your soul."

Ryan nodded and closed his eyes ones more. "Thank you, Alex." He spoke softly after a few minutes of silence slowly opening his eyes to meet the others. "This has been the best year of my life." He smiled widely.

Alex struggled to hold back the tears as he smiled as well. "I have lived a long life, and 500 years is indeed a very long time to be alone, but this last year has taught me more than all the ones previous. I have never before been able to care about another living thing, nor had I been able to say that I was happy, not until now." He leaned down to gently kiss the other.

Ryan kissed back. "I-It's getting harder to stay awake." He said as a single tear fell down his face.

"It's okay." Alex assured him. "I won't leave your side."

Ryan nodded and soon fell asleep, leaving his lover and best friend to watch as the gentle rise and fall of his chest got less frequent, and after a mere minute, it stopped. Though in reality, it had not taken long, to Alex that minute seemed to last longer than the rest of his life, dragging out seemingly forever, until finally, he spotted the translucent shape appear over the other's body. He tentatively took it, hesitating for the first time to receive a soul. Not even bothering to check it he sent it up into the sky, knowing that the other belonged there.

He brought Ryan back to the hospital and watched as the machines went off, notifying the doctors of his demise.

He was about to go and attend to his next client but his surroundings faded.

Alex looked around, but all he could see was white. “Where am I?” He asked.

“I have been watching you, child from the past.” A booming voice spoke. “As you know, this office was your punishment, and all punishments come to an end eventually.”

”Who are you?”

“I have watched you grow from an arrogant child into a kind and caring young man, and now you shall return home, to your own time.”

“NO!!” He yelled, I don’t want to go back there.

“But why?”

“There is nothing for me there, I had no family, no friends, and I lost the only person I ever loved.”

The voice paused as if considering his reason. "Very well then, is there anything you wish."

Alex thought before nodding. "I would like to be at his funeral."

His wish was granted, for when he returned to the world he found that a week had passed and he was in a graveyard, he watched the ceremony from a distance and had intended to leave when it was over but someone stopped him.

"Please, Death… Alex, don't go yet." The woman pleaded.

He looked back at her, immediately knowing who she was. "Your son was very precious to me, I have been in this office for a very long time and he was the first to see past it. Many people who are dying do not fear death for they had been expecting it, but no one ever saw me as someone other than the taker of life." He sighed and laid his hand on the new headstone. "I truly did love him, and never before had I struggled to take a soul, not even that of a small infant

"When will we see you again?" The man asked only to heave Alex shake his head.

"You shall not." He told them. "For your son was my final soul. I have been in the office 500 years and my time to depart this world is upon us. I am truly grateful, you have given me something which I had never known in my long life. This past year I felt loved, and for that, you have my gratitude. But the time has arrived when I must bid you farewell." He said with a smile and bowed solemnly to her before pulling up his hood as he walked away.

That was the last time anyone ever saw or heard from Alex.

#story #my writing

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