#and god damn it I want to find one more title in that album somewhere
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on naming the third fic: i just think, a room full of coral. A sky full of honey. ...a sea full of seamen u_u
that sounds exactly like a Kate Bush lyric so honestly, I’ll take it at this point
#asks#anon#a room full of coral#Kate bush#keen observers will note that all titles in the series are from the album Aerial#and god damn it I want to find one more title in that album somewhere#Kate bush why did you have to make bird noises for half that album#I need WORDS
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Ranting and Raving: "Say You Love Me" by Fleetwood Mac
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If Fleetwood Mac had a secret weapon, it was Christine McVie.
Naturally, I'm writing this just after hearing the devastating news that she has passed away at seventy-nine. It was sad news to hear and she was the last Fleetwood Mac member I ever wanted to see leave this Earth. So it goes.
When people think of the women in Fleetwood Mac, their minds normally turn to Stevie Nicks, which makes sense. She was the superstar between the two. She was the cool one. She was the one who went on to have a very successful solo career in the eighties. She was the one with the gravely rock voice that made songs like "Edge of Seventeen" and "Stand Back" such enduring classics. She was the one who captured lightning-in-a-bottle poetry with "Landslide." And, depending on who you ask, she was the more conventionally attractive of the two. She carried that cool, ethereal, witchy vibe that the girlies are still trying to imitate and pull off to this day. There's a reason Stevie ended up being the superstar while Christine sat in the shadows at her piano and keyboards.
And yet, of all the Fleetwood Mac music that endures, it's Christine's contributions I always find myself returning to. Fleetwood Mac started as a blues band with nothing but a small cult following in the late sixties, but by the mid-seventies it was Christine's songs that landed the classic lineup their first major hits. It was "Over My Head" that finally broke them through in 1975 when the classic lineup put out their self-titled white album, but "Say You Love Me" represents the best of what Christine's songwriting could do for this band.
Christine McVie was the perfect compliment to Stevie and guitarist Lindsey Buckingham, both in terms of being a songwriter and a musician. Stevie's songs tended to lean more on the folksier side of things. Lindsey was into rock, blues, and any other weird idea that came into his head (see every song he wrote for the Tusk album in 1979.) Christine fell somewhere in between and mostly stayed in the realm of pop-rock, taking cues from a bunch of the California rock bands and artists that were big at the time like the Eagles, Jackson Browne, and the Doobie Brothers. It helps that the band had relocated to that area to make the Fleetwood Mac album and they just hired two Californians (Stevie and Lindsey) into a band that currently had three British players (Christine, bassist John McVie, and drummer Mick Fleetwood.) That 1975 album saw the three Brits wanting to re-invent themselves, and Christine finally had what she needed to make her best stuff really shine.
Christine had written poppy rock songs before Nicks and Buckingham joined. "Spare Me a Little of Your Love" is the closest thing to compare to. The issue before 1975 was that guitarist Bob Welch (who Buckingham replaced) didn't always harmonize with her super well and Christine hadn't mastered the art of writing a hook that really sinks in. The vocal chemistry she had with Nicks and Buckingham worked right out of the gate. "Say You Love Me" has one of the best hooks that Christine ever put to tape. There's a vocal harmony on this that earlier Mac records couldn't capture. The other iterations of the band have great highlights, but none of them were ever going to score major hits. This band did. Stevie and Lindsey do a great job of adding their voices in with Christine's, but never taking away from her. It's like adding spices into your chili. You want just enough to really bring out the flavor, but not enough that it becomes overbearing. This is how you do it right.
Speaking of Christine's lead, this song showcases all of her talents and then some. Unlike Stevie, Christine had a more limited range. She couldn't do as much as Stevie could. She was never gonna belt something out like "Rhiannon" or "Stop Draggin' My Heart Around," but she had a perfect voice for bouncy pop songs and god damn does this bounce.
The combination of Christine's piano and Mick's steady driving drum beat is superb and creates a fantastic foundation for the song. It's bouncy and fun, reflecting the lyrical theme of a woman being swept off her feet for a good time (if you know what I mean). In a time where big and loud guitars where ruling the airwaves, she lets Ol' John the bassist drive most of the first half of the song and he gets a lot of great little moments in there. Lindsey Buckingham gets his time to shine in this song, but for the first half, it's all John, Mick, and Christine.
Speaking of Lindsey, her musical chemistry with Buckingham is one of the best things about the classic lineup in my eyes. She seemed to figure out really early how best to use Buckingham's talents and I think that alone is what makes songs like "Say You Love Me," "Think About Me," and "Hold Me" so damn good. The two of them play each other so well and if you want more evidence of the two of them being great together, Tango in the Night and the Lindsey Buckingham Christine McVie album they did together is worth checking out.
The second half of the song is where Lindsey and Christine shine together. Lindsey gets two pretty good little guitar solos in there that show off his signature finger picking style before Christine comes back in with a final verse. She has a back and forth between her vocals and Lindsey's guitar playing that just gives the song a depth that I think is easily understated and almost ignored if you're not really looking for it. Listen to that final verse. She sings "Baby, baby hope, / You're gonna stay away" and then Lindsey adds in a few notes in the empty space she leaves. Same thing happens after the next lines: "'Cause I'm getting weaker, / Weaker every day" and then Lindsey fills the space. You can hear this same thing with the first half of the song because she does it with John's basslines too. It's admittedly simple, but satisfying and it makes for something infectious that you want to listen to again and again and again. The combination of these musical ideas, Christine's lead and the vocal harmonies on the chorus, Lindsey's quick but wonderful guitar solos midway through, it all combines together into something that's just so fucking great. There's a reason this lineup became the classic lineup. There's just a magic that these five found and and figured out how to lock into.
If you're someone who is saddened by the news and you're looking to really examine Christine's work with Fleetwood Mac now that she's no longer with us, I think this is a great song to start with. All of her hallmarks and everything that made her both a great player and great songwriter are evident here. There's a lot of Classic Mac that you may not have realized was her and there are a number of deep cuts that are worthy of your time. Speaking of, every song she contributed to the forgotten 1995 Mac album Time is fantastic. "Hollywood (Some Other Kind of Town)" is my favorite from that. As I said before, everything she wrote for the Tango in the Night album has some of her best stuff. "Mystified" and "Little Lies" (played at every Bethesda presentation from now until forever) are two of my favorites on there.
Oh! And obviously "Songbird" is one of the most beautiful songs of the entire seventies and one of the best songs she ever wrote.
You don't cry because someone is gone, you smile because they were here. We're all better for her being here. Christine McVie was one of the best to ever do it and fans can sleep well knowing that her work will outlast her and the songbirds will keep singing her songs and filling the air with them. That's the beauty of being an artist that makes great art: it sticks with people and it gets to carry on and live on in your place when you're no longer around.
Sleep easy, Christine. We'll miss you. <3
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MASTERLIST Updated 03/20/2021
COMPLETED AO3 FICS [Kim Taehyung/Park Jimin]
1. The Sound of Your Heart
Summary: There was something so easy about it, it was almost scary. Taehyung didn’t want to feel this way, didn’t want to feel this overwhelming fondness; but not unlike his head, his heart was hard to persuade once it had decided a path. And Taehyung was scared that it had decided on the mute new boy with pretty features and a warm smile.
Words: 144,014
2. All the King's Men
Summary: Castle servants Jimin and Taehyung find themselves involved in a game with the Crown Prince.
Words: 52,531
3. golden haze
Summary: Taehyung watches Jimin’s mouth twist into a pout, forming the word ‘fucking’ with his thick lips before he’s whipping out his translation device again. Taehyung doesn’t have time to stop him when various pornographic images pop up on his holographic screen, Jimin’s eyes widening with intrigue, his mouth falling open at the suggestive images in front of him.
(or: lonely college student taehyung harbors an alien fugitive in his apartment. nothing goes as planned.)
Words: 34,850
4. Drag'on Together (Love Is Its Own Magic)
Summary: “I swear to God, Taehyung if you stop to pick up one more rock because you think it might be some sort of rare stone, I’m leaving you here,” Jimin huffs as he tries to sound intimidating.
“Jiminnie, we both know you wouldn’t survive a minute without me, so stop with the empty threats, okay?” Taehyung replies, happily ignoring his dark-haired friend.
Jimin would argue, he would, if it wasn’t for the fact that Taehyung was right.
or
The time Taehyung and Jimin finds a blue rock and it turns out to be so much more.
Words: 30,554
5. even the weariest river
Summary: It's moments like this that make Taehyung panic. The open derision on each courtier's face, the scorn of his brother as he turns from his prey. The slit of Park Jimin's eyes, just barely open and dark and hateful, as Taehyung swallows and squares his shoulders and says—
"I want to claim him."
The tides of war change, and sweep Taehyung and Jimin along with them.
Words: 152,979
6. i fell in love with the pizza delivery guy (and then i blew him in the bathroom)
Summary: Send your best delivery guy. Preferably cute, preferably packing.
“You're the one who ordered me,” Taehyung says. Not exactly a question; more of a statement.
“Well, I ordered pizza; you just happen to be a delightful bonus,” Jimin clarifies, lips drawn up in a smirk that sets Taehuyung’s blood on fire in a most delectable way. “Although, had I known a pretty face like yours was working there...maybe I would have been more specific with my instructions. At least I know for next time.”
(or, Jimin orders pizza and a little something extra, and Taehyung delivers without really knowing what he's signing up for)
Words: 18,438
7. Grand Jeté
Summary: Refusing to spend another night alone, Taehyung surprises his perfectionist of a boyfriend Jimin at his dance studio with the intent of dragging him home. But their pent-up emotions from spending time apart has the visit ending with a lot of kissing and a little experimenting.
Words: 8,200
8. Already Midnight
Summary: On New Year's Eve, Taehyung is drunk. So drunk that he doesn't recognize Jimin as his boyfriend. When Jimin kisses him at midnight, Taehyung threatens to call his man- aka Jimin.
Words: 3,951
9. Worth The Risk
Summary: The rules are simple: no kissing on the lips, no petnames, no cuddling after sex, no sleepovers, no labels, and no catching feelings.
It should be simple. In fact, it would be simple, if it weren’t for one tiny thing...Taehyung is pretty sure he’s in love with Jimin. And that’s absolutely against the rules.
Words: 23,645
10. Common Ground
Summary: Taehyung is rich, a little bit bratty, a lot a bit spoiled, and failing calculus. Jimin works full time, tutors, and is a straight-A student. There's a rulebook somewhere that states very clearly that people like Jimin should never associate with people like Taehyung. But rules are meant to be broken. And opposites always, always attract.
Words: 44,136
11. This is not a dream
Summary: He would think they were ships in the night if not for the fact that every night, Jimin lays his head in Taehyung’s lap and Taehyung runs fingers without nerve endings through his hair. If they didn't have this false, teasing closeness long enough to learn every detail of each other's lives, long enough that Jimin is the person Taehyung spends the most time with by a mile.
(Jimin leaves. Two months later, he falls in love with Taehyung.)
Words: 12,370
12. Shooting Stars and Silver Moons
Summary: Yoongi and Jimin make a bet, Taehyung makes bad decisions.
(Or: "I'm kind of pissed you didn't choose me to fake date, I'm your best friend")
Words: 20,206
13. the whole world is blue
Summary: Taehyung is not going to confess. That kind of thing never ends well. The movies are wrong. It doesn't always turn out to be mutual. Real life isn't so romantic like that.
Words: 10,829
14. Swipe Right
Summary: As a best friend, Jimin will do anything for Taehyung. This includes being his fake boyfriend to ward off the unwanted attention Taehyung is receiving after using a dating app and agreeing to meet someone.
Words: 26,085
15. Define Me in Terms of You
Summary: This is either Taehyung's greatest idea, or his worst.
“So, let me get this straight. You want me to teach you how to play guitar, join a fake band and enter a competition just so that you can impress a guy you like?"
Words: 9,808
16. i just adore you asking for more
Summary: Taehyung is a successful model looking for a discreet release. Jimin is a professional dom who won’t judge his browsing history.
Words: 90,201
17. Sirius
Summary: "Dude, our entire relationship could be an Ed Sheeran album."
Words: 16,955
18. it's your heart i wanna live (& sleep) in
Summary: The first time Jimin sleeps over at Taehyung's, it's an emergency. The other times after? That's a different story.
Words: 22,658
19. kissing up on fences (and up on walls, i don't want to fall)
Summary: They’ve always been close, Taehyung and Jimin. Where one went, it would be rare to see them without the other. This is a fact Namjoon knows better than most, having coexisted with them in close quarters for such a long time.
Namjoon had not, however, for all his proclaimed wisdom and prudence, had the foresight to see that they’d become this close.
(or: the five times the other members thought they were dating, and the one time jimin starts to wonder if they really are)
Words: 8,738
20. The Usual
Summary: Alternatively titled: The Regular
Jimin will date anyone, except for boys who serve coffee.
Words: 27,935
21. i'm so sorry but it's fake love (tbh, not really)
Summary: when chaebol/commitment anti-fan park jimin learns he's being married off, he does the smartest thing in the world: hire a fake boyfriend he found on the internet (aka Craigslist's personal ads)
all he needs is just three months with said fake boyfriend to convince his parents to leave him alone. after that, he'll get back to his regular programming.
except, not really.
Words: 209,565
22. Gravity//Oxygen
Summary: He already lost his parents.
He'll be damned if he loses Jimin's smile too.
We stay together.
Always.
Taehyung is out for revenge. And he'll do anything to get it.
Words: 180,321
23. A Screenshot of Youth
Summary: There’s a sharp intake of breath, Taehyung’s grip tightening over Jimin’s with a gentle squeeze. “Jimin,” his voice is serious, and Jimin watches him, strangely endeared. “Let’s be friends.”
And it’s like this, that they begin as friends in the heat of a sweltering summer, twelve years old and too young to think much of it, hands twined together under the blanket of a setting sun.
(In which Jimin and Taehyung grow up together.)
Words: 18,496
24. i'll take the desert, you take the coast
Summary: “Everyone I know is a candlestick nearing its demise. They’re afraid of bringing meaning into their lives, of cultivating that glow. But you, prince Park Jimin, you are different. You glow with the passion of more than a thousand suns.”
Words: 30,973
25. just to get a taste
Summary: The one where Jeongguk dares Jimin and Taehyung to kiss and it unravels a lot of feelings. But mostly more kisses.
Or the one where Jimin's heart is stupid and Jimin's best friend is actually irresistible. Who'd've thunk, huh?
Words: 24,375
26. tell them it's the end
Summary: Five months after Taehyung suddenly walked out on him, Jimin finds out that Taehyung has yet to inform his family, who absolutely loved Jimin, about their split.
Jimin tries to swallow his feelings as he once again “dates” Taehyung.
Words: 13,802
27. stay with you
Summary: Taehyung wondered why he always see this blonde man, getting wasted every night. Its such a shame seeing his pretty face wasting every single night of his life in this bar.
Until he saw his eyes, and he understood why.
(Or Jimin is broken and he wanted his happiness back.)
Words: 12,875
28. ring the changes
Summary: That's the nature of one-sided confessions. Things change.
Words: 45,248
29. summer, winter, spring (i'm falling for you)
Summary: The school starts to take notice of Jimin.
Taehyung has always noticed.
Words: 41,786
30. Make Me-al
Summary: In which Jimin starts to work at Jin's restaurant and there he meets Taehyung, the new rookie waiter that kinda gets him off his nerves (the feeling is mutual). Yet, the tension between them is hotter than the ovens from the kitchen...
Words: 26,886
31. such stuff as dreams are made on
Summary: "sir no one, may i have this dance?"
or: kim taehyung, a kitchen boy, sneaks into a royal masquerade. park jimin is the prince he never expected.
Words: 38,753
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Child Saniwa: Tsurumaru Kuninaga, Kasen Kanesada, Hachisuka Kotetsu
It’s meme time
Warnings: None???
Tsurumaru Kuninaga:
“Yo, I’m Tsurumaru Kuninaga. Are you surpr- what?”
“......”
“Why is there a child here?”
The minute Tsurumaru finds out that you, his saniwa, is a literal baby, he immediately begins to sign the adoption papers. Damn it all, he failed to protect a child int he past and there’s no damn way is he going to fuck this up this time!
A part of him was ready to fucking kick down the doors of the government though, ready to scream at them for sending a child into battle. Yes during times of war, such a thing can happen, but the modern world is different? Besides, what is ever wrong with the idea of letting a kid be a kid?
Tsurumaru is a bad influence, spoils the lil tiny kid saniwa rotten. THey ask something from him? Of course he’ll give it to them. Candy? Always has it in his long sleeves somewhere. A hug? Immediately will carry the lil tiny child around without hesitation.
If aNYONE looks at his charge the wrong way, expect a sword to their throat immediately and a very miffed off crane, “Oh ho, do you have something to say to them? Why don’t you say it to me?” yes he will threaten the president or some other government big wig. Don’t fucking test him.
Seeing them smile is what makes Tsurumaru beam more than anything. it almost reaffirms his vow to protect them as long as he still lives and breathes. In battle, Tsurumaru is focused yes, but most of all he wants to return to them. Gods forbid anyone getting hurt and the little one is in tears. No way will he ever let them fall.
It warms his heart when the lil Saniwa gets along with the rest of the swords, especially the Dategumi. It’s like having permanent baby sitters working around the clock for the lil one. He’ll probably cry if he sees Sada-chan and the lil saniwa cuddling together just napping.
Will also start sobbing if the said saniwa calls Tsurumaru their big bro/dad. Tells them to always call him that from now on.
Expect Tsurumaru to always be causing little tickle fights with the saniwa! He wants to see them smile, to hear them laugh! He will surprise them, appearing out of nowhere to scare them and maybe with a lil batch of treats to smooth it over. He’s not trying to scare them to death! No! He adores them!
Tsurumaru can and will be found cuddling with the little kid during nappy time, holding them oh so close to his chest, almost hissing at anyone who tries to take them away from him.
Tsurumaru cannot help but thank the gods, and fate for this second chance of protecting a little one. He was only a sword back then, unable to do anything. But now? Oh, every time the little saniwa smiles at him and clings on to his big white coat, the crane swears it to the spirits and his own lifeforce that he will protect them better this time.
Kasen Kanesada
“It is quite the pleasure to meet you, maste- oh?”
“....”
“.....What have I gotten myself into?”
Now Kasen is pretty decent with kids, he isn’t terrible as he can deal with Sayo, but dealing with a lil saniwa like this causes him to pause. What had he gotten himself into this time? How would this affect their relationship? If Kasen is the starter sword of the little one, then Kasen would obviously feel a much stronger need to protect them.
If Tsurumaru is the enabler, then Kasen is the responsible parent. He ensures they go to bed on time, eating the right meals, dressed properly for the occasion, so on and so forth! Yes he will melt under their puppy eyes and eventually give in to their whims, but Kasen does have his limits. Ever so gently will he scold them, wiping away any tears they shed.
Like Tsurumaru, Kasen will also hold little snacks in his pockets for them. Probably fruit compared to like candy but if the little one is a good kid he’ll slip them something sweet from Azuki. Has to stop the other swords from spoiling the little one rotten as well, even if he has to drag Tsurumaru away from them.
Whenever Kasen has to leave for a mission and has to leave the little one’s side, he leaves behind a poem and a note for them to cheer them up. In fact, his notes/poems are almost a frequent occurrence!
While Tsurumaru will full on bear hug his little saniwa, Kasen will mostly give little head pats. If they are desperate however, then he will give them a hug. It’s gentle, not at all suffocating. He would rub their back and maybe ruffle their hair a lil bit.
While Kasen is indeed protective, he won’t suddenly press a blade to the throat of the enemy...yet. His anger simmers before exploding, snidely making a quip about their lack of intelligence before threatening to kill them with his bare hands. He won’t lie and say that he isn’t angry at the government for having such a young one in the face of danger. They remind him of Sayo and how the tantou never got to be...well, himself.
Kasen is stern and strict yes, but he is not without method to his madness. He wants his lil saniwa to grow and become an elegant, proud, and move forward. He knows that he may not always be by their side and he worries of that day when he leaves them. He wants to spend much more time with them in his own way. It doesn’t have to be with words, it can just be existing together in the same space.
Kasen works a lot, and when the little saniwa asks him to relax, it’s very obvious that he is reluctant to do so. He has so much to do! The citadel needs him! But he will cave under their lil pouty face and sighs, agreeing to a nap with them in his arms. Expect the others to take pictures of this.
Kasen can and will cry if they refer to him as a big brother/father, compared to the outright crying of Tsurumaru, Kasen’s tears and sniffles can be seen but he won’t start bawling just yet. Pride does bloom within his chest and while Tsurumaru will ask them to always refer to him with the title of big bro/dad, Kasen will want to be referred to by his name or the big brother title. It will take some getting used to but he’ll fall into that routine.
Kasen fusses over the lil one over the smallest things. IF they trip and fall and hurt themselves? Kasen is by their side with a band-aid and ready to fight God. Can and will fight the time government by sending them letters to utterly burn them to the point they could never hope to recover from his words. Or just straight up kick down the door to an office and demand to see whoever the fuck is in charge.
Hachisuka Kotetsu
“I am Hachisuka Kotetsu, the true authentic-”
“....”
“??????????’
Hachisuka takes one good luck at this lil kid of a saniwa and he is confused. Why? How? What? Where? When? Though as he has experience of being a big brother, he will gently bend down to their height, questioning them oh so gently. Yes he is just as confused as they are, but Hachisuka will take it in stride. If Hachisuka is the saniwa’s starter sword, he will feel an immediate urge to protect them of course!
Sure he can handle Urashima but a whole ass child? Is there a manual for this???? Urashima, help! When he does have advice from other swords on how to take care of a kid, Hachisuka will dedicate himself to them.
Found taking pictures of the saniwa and Urashima getting along, no Hachisuka is not crying. What are you taLKING ABOUT
Compared to Kasen and Tsuru who are found crying when the saniwa refers to them as dad/big brother, Hachisuka is almost proud of it. “Of course, there is nothing I can’t do after all! If I will become family to my master, then so be it!” inwardly sobbing though.
If Tsurumaru is the enabler, and Kasen is the strict parent, then Hachisuka is the big brother who is trying his damn best. He is strict like Kasen but will submit to their will and ultimately spoil them in the end.
Can and will keep his lil saniwa away from Nagasone, but will relent if the saniwa adores his brother too. That won’t mean he’ll keep a close eye on them whenever they are together, worried about them. Maybe he’s worried about Nagasone too? He won’t admit it though.
If anyone threatens this tiny lil child of a saniwa, he immediately hands them over to Nagasone and Urashima, rolling up his damn sleeves and is ready to beat some ass. Nagasone has to hold him back though. It does mean Hachisuka can and will get into a shouting match with the fucker though.
Is that one father who does nothing but brag about the achievements of their child, proudly displaying their awards and adorable pictures of them for all to see! Has an entire photo album of the lil saniwa and their achievements, full of their smiles and they make him sob.
His affection isn’t as physical as Kasen or Tsurumaru. It’s soft headpats, sometimes awkward. But Hachisuka does care for them, tucking a lock of their hair behind their ear, telling them that he is proud of them, and bringing them into a gentle hug.
Hachisuka will carry the lil saniwa to bed and it’s during those times of quiet and peace where Hachisuka will think. Like Kasen, both purple haired warriors will appreciate these silent moments. As he strokes their head to sleep, Hachisuka knows that their time is limited. None the less, to be the best parental/familial figure this lil saniwa has ever had, he will do his best!
#touken ranbu#touken danshi#touken ranbu x reader#touken ranbu imagine#tkrb#tkrb x reader#tkrb imagine#my writing#tsurumaru kuninaga#tsurumaru kuninaga x reader#tsurumaru kuninaga imagine#kasen kanesada#kasen kanesada x reader#kasen kanesada imagine#hachisuka kotetsu#hachisuka kotetsu x reader#hachisuka kotetsu imagine#https://toukenramblings.tumblr.com/tagged/Chaotic%20Citadel%20Correspondences#Chaotic Citadel Correspondences
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toffee!
ah yeah, i think quarentine has given people some opportunity to actually just sit with the person they are, rather than be rushing around for the person they want to become. its good you got smth good out of isolation! ah thats great! hope you had fun and ur partner in crime speeds back home so you can get out more hehe.
ah yeah ty, good suggestions.
hmm good point, i was sort of putting it separate to the whole not-sexualising thing, but yeah. mmm yeah i totally agree, some of the enhypen fics/imagines *shudder* and even reading innie stuff is just a bit *icky* cos everyone still thinks of him as our agi ppang. yeah def would be good but sadly this just seems to be the world we live in. :(
ah yes the holy masterlist (not sarc) i have actually read in the rain and gladius maximus before, but ill go look for in class! oooh thats good! character development lol. hmmmm yes champagne problems was the angst to end all angst, that shit hurt. it was actually one of the first of your fics i read and i recall almost crying over the whole thing, it was so heartbreaking, i can see how it almost made you want to drop angst. good that youve allowed yourself some lee-way tho :)
hehe thats so cool. okay here we go, ill try not to be mortally offended (/hj)
cheese - yes same, i liked it but that was all there was, it wasnt a super standout track. it was rlly underwhelming for me but some of the hook is super catchy so there is Redemption (tm) in store for cheese maybe
thunderous - mmm, yeah at first i totally agreed, i think they suffer from too much good music syndrome, that all their other tracks are such fucking bops its hard to stay at that level of perfection. the choreo was beautiful tho and tbh, the track has grown on me since ive been watching all the vids abt it. its my brothers favourite track
domino - YES GODAMMIT IT SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE TITLE TRACK. the raps, the vocals, the vibes, the fucking domino sound in the back? i would have streamed that shit on repeat. but tbh, as good as it is, it doesnt have that sort of grandness/oomph that skz seems to like in their title tracks so i can see why they chose thunderous (tho domino would have been so good) *sigh*
ssick - yeah same, not my fave track by a long mile, the crowd cheering was a ?strange? choice and the chorus was a bit bare/empty, plus like i mentioned earlier, it was kinda funny to me for some reason but ill still play it if im playing thru the whole album
the view - ahh one of those not like other girls (/j) i honestly think its just a good party song, just a bop to play in the background when nobodys rlly paying much attention. its pretty generic pop music but catchy
sorry, i love you - hehe yeah i thought it was going to be sadder as well, but i rlly loved the fact that they all just got to sing, which almost never happens, i dont think ive heard felix sing for a long time, so i enjoyed it. wasnt rlly a standout track but i just casually like it. looking forward to the fic haha
silent cry - this song i swear, some bits are rlly good and then others are just? why?? it does sound like a dance song tho idk. definitely not one of my faves either
secret secret - YES its so good! its such a chill song and i love their vocals in it. the combination of lo-fi/fake strings backup stuff and their heavenly vocals just makes it *chefs kiss* im listening to it rn and just... its so beautiful. it gives me pumped up another day vibes ya know? like my pace is edgy get cool, this one is energetic another day i feel like. overall i love it
STAR LOST - ah thats so cool! i didnt know that! on first listen this song had a similar vibe to secret secret but then the beat came in and ahh its such a good song. i can totally imagine them putting this song to a concert footage vid, this song is so sweet.
red lights - LMAO YES ITS SO AWKWARD WHY DOES IT GO ON FOR SO LONG ah thats good! yeah good point, its quite intense hehe. but that is my fave trope and this is lowkey my favourite track on the album so ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ just the combination of hyunjins and chans voices, the backing music, the lyrics ahh red lights my beloved
surfin’ - yes lmao its always a shock, i feel like they should have put gone away in between them, but its such a fun cute song, i cant get rlly mad. yeah, as an aussie i think im contractually obligated to like beaches lol. sand im not such a fan of, but my familys rlly into fishing and my brother loves bodyboarding so we stay at a beach house at least twice a year and we live like 5 mins from 3 different beaches (hehe all aussie cities are on the coast lol) so thats cool. do you like beaches?
gone away - ah gone away my beloved, i love this song sm, its just so pure and showcases their vocals and lyrics so well. yes the pitch change is very out of the blue, i feel liek they went directly from seungmins soft vocals to hans powerful ones which was an interesting choice, but hey, im not complaining
wolfgang - YES IKR ah im so happy he got to be included in that era and song. yeah its such a full on song i cant rlly listen to it if im in a quiet mood but its very motivating :)
hehe mood, i hope they do! ahhh no rest, but at least you wont have to pull a blink and wait a year for any word from the group lol. im not rlly into nct but im excited for them! ah hopefully youll be able to sneak some rest into that chaotic schedule, with enhypen (idk if u stan but yeah) squeezed into it haha
<3 w.a. 🐺
i wheezed at partner in crime, it reminded me of smth. i have a lee know fic in the drafts that i wrote 'in honor' of him (and his departure-ish). i'll tag you when i finish it, if you want. it's a rather hilarious one.
oh my god. based on my experience on the collabs i've joined before, writing explicit shit for '01 & '02 is not accepted (nct's maknaes) but with enha's hyung line '01 & '02 somehow it's okay? i do a double take every time i see fics like those i mean, technically, it's legal but still what the fuck. maybe it's just not for me at the moment. not at us venting our frustration about this. it's just something that's so accepted here that i am (in all honesty) slightly uncomfortable about. but oh well. that's kpop writerblr for you.
man i could've linked all the fics in the ask instead so you wouldn't have to go looking for them! i think i saw you like in class the other day (the fic i renamed into sharp-tongued, god it took me a while to remember the new title). describing champagne problems as an angst to end all angst is one way to put what i was feeling back in december. it just hurt to write and admit?? if that ever happened to me i would prolly cry :d
okay back to the album talk! i love how you answered with more thoughts. i love exchanges like these! i am a victim of the cheese hook and it's now one of my favorite tracks in the album. PLS, TOO MUCH GOOD MUSIC SYNDROME. that's on our self-producing kings 😌💅 also, your brother has taste! as i am typing this, domino's currently playing in my head and i realized that too, that it doesn't have that 'vibe' of a skz title track. honestly, this could be a title track of another group. ssick is starting to grown on me because i found the beats cool kdjsk not the not like other girls 😭 the view is the generic pop that i don't like but i get why a lot of people enjoy it. sorry i love you scratches a certain itch that i find myself singing the first few lines every time i remember it. i too would want to hear felix sing more!
> a mini junction on the album talk bc i got side tracked. on that topic, i want skz to switch positions at some point like i know those allrounders are capable of doing so. specifically, i want to hear seungmin rap!!!! (yk in the recent weekly idol he talked faster than changbin in a challenge and changbin is like the fastest rapper in kpop that's active atm if im not mistaken. my dandy boy has some potential and i want it UNLEASHED.)
back to album talk. silent cry is basically sad music to twerk to. secret secret is definitely one of my favorite tracks :( i loved how you compared the tracks HAJSAH i burst out laughing bc yk what, you're right! i want to make a star lost edit of skz but i simply do not have the time i want to cry. i love the song so much. ok, my dreaded track, red lights. idt i have played the track since we last talked. my friend sent me the lyrics tho and i'm itching to write a twisted au out of it. idk if you're comfortable with yandere but somewhere along those themes. the obsessive type of love that's sweet at first but turns rotten. IMAGINE IF THEY PUT GONE AWAY BETWEEN ASHJA it's like going from 50 shades to the notebook.
i was about to ask if you lived near the coast and you literally mentions it here god im so stupid. yes i LOOOOOOOOOVE beaches so much. living in an archipelago is fun :( i live in a part of the country that's more island than city so every time i want some vitamin sea it's accessible. i heard the waves in australia are great :( anYWHOOO gone away :(( every time it plays im compelled to skip it because it makes me sAD AND NOWADAYS I DONT HAVE THE TIME TO BE SAD. contrary to you, i dislike my quiet moods because i tend to overthink a lot.
i have this little analogy about how there are stays that enjoy songs the generic pop + mellow songs and then there are other stays that enjoy the noisy tracks. in my mind, it's like a perfect balance that makes me feel like all the tracks are loved in the end. just by different people.
PULL A BLINK. bro i fucking hate yg entertainment. they have the biggest kpop girl group LOCKED in their basement when they could be (and i mean this in the most business-like way not morally) milking money of the quad. they're yg's biggest hope at not being bankrupt atm so it's a damn fucking mystery to me as to how they aren't doing anything. (jk i just realized lisa solo album soon, but i still need a ot4 cb hELLO)
i stopped looking forward to the teasers. rest > kpop boys. i don't want to sound like a cult member but have you tried checking out nct? are they just not your thing? (i get it tho, that's one hard group to get into). and yes i do stan enhypen!
wow i love how long these asks are! they're like online penpals. but i also want to ask about you! how have you been lately? are you feeling okay both mentally and physically? how's the weather there? do you have anything that you want to talk about? maybe an interesting book you read? feel free to bring up anything you want to share! i'm getting conscious about talking about myself HAJHSJ
and yet another long answer B) i am sooo sorry T___T should these ask exchanges feel draining to you, feel free to stop sending them in AAAA
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Radiohead Retrospective Part 6: I try to sing along but I get it all wrong (‘CAUSE I’M NOT)
I don’t have as much to say about the lead-in to Hail to the Thief, much like I didn’t have much to say about that for Amnesiac. There isn’t as earth-shattering a shift as Kid A, and there isn’t a big story like with The Bends or OK Computer.
Hail to the Thief was (probably) the first batch of music Radiohead recorded after the sessions that produced Kid A/Amnesiac, meaning they had the full breadth of that experience to work with. What we received as a result was somewhat of a fusion of the electronic/jazz-influences of those albums and the rockier stuff of the band’s past.
Now I’ve heard a fair few complaints that this album is too long. That’s probably fair, it’s their longest album, with a total of 14 tracks, meaning it does kinda drag on a bit. Thom Yorke apparently agrees, seeing as he put out an alternative tracklist in ’08 (link) missing four songs. At the same time, I’m going to pull Death of the Author on this one, because as much as I’ve seen people complain that there’s too many songs on this, nobody ever seems to get along with which ones they’d cut- let alone people wanting to pull B-sides in the mix.
But we’re getting ahead of ourselves there, aren’t we? Suppose I should just talk about the fucking album.
We begin this record, like all Radiohead records, with studio chatter. Wait, what the fuck? Yeah, it’s quiet but it’s there. Why not, right?
2+2=5 is a lovely little banger to open on. Unquestionably a rock song, it features a very slow and quiet (and heavily panned) first half before just fucking exploding in the latter half. It genuinely might be the most aggressive track the band has put out, a manic cascade of energy and breathy falsetto that’s genuinely headbangable. It’s also a fun thing to try and read the lyrics for, since the booklet the album comes with gives up for this bit and just goes “eezeepeezee NOT” or something along that line.
Oh yeah, that’s actually something worth bringing up. Neither Kid A nor Amnesiac had lyric booklets, deliberately obscuring the actual words to the songs, to the point where people had pretty wide interpretations of what they actually were. Considering the incompleteness of 2+2=5’s entry in it’s booklet, perhaps similar occurred with that. I’m still unsure if the subtitle of this post is actually the real lyrics.
Most people, I think, read the name of this track and just kind of assume it’s about 1984, the book boomers bring up whenever their freedumbs are impinged upon. And it’s not not about 1984, but there are extremely specific political references as well- Hail to the Thief, title of the album and line in the track, is a quote regarding the U.S. President of the time, George W Bush, who lost the popular vote but won the electoral college- something that sounds awfully familiar to those of us living in 2021. “January has April Showers” similarly refers to the unseasonable weather of Bush’s inauguration.
The last thing I’d like to bring up before we finally move onto the second track is that every single song in this album has a subtitle- for 2+2=5, it’s (The Lukewarm). According to Yorke, it’s a reference to Dante’s Inferno- the Lukewarm being the people around the edge of hell, damned due to their passive indifference- the kind of people the song’s lyric, “you have not been paying attention”, is referring to. I’m literally learning these meanings now, so we’ll see how many are worth bringing up.
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Perhaps fortunately for my word count, Sit Down. Stand Up (yes the full stop/period is part of the title) (that’s not the subtitle) doesn’t have quite as much going on. Though it does have a video, for some reason. It’s a sort of repetitive trance of lyrics set to an electronic percussion, distant piano, and….I don’t know what other instrument is making those light dings. A xylophone? Interestingly, much like 2+2=5, it’s one that builds slowly into a chaotic finish, the raving of that track reflected in the almost cold mania of the raindrops the raindrops the raindrops the raindrops the raindrops……. It’s a decent enough song, but I legitimately cannot imagine listening to it ever outside the context of this album. Which is weird, because I definitely remember doing so when I was younger.
Track 3 is Sail To The Moon, a lullaby or ballad or sorts, a calm after the storm that is the previous track. Quite literally, considering it’s repeated lyric. And also literally, in that it was actually written for Thom’s son at the time. The subtitle, (Brush the Cobwebs Out of the Sky) evokes a very literal interpretation of the song’s title, which doesn’t actually reflect the lyrics.
Sail To The Moon is, as any good lullaby should be, utterly soothing. It’s calm, with Thom’s vocals just drifting across the piano, loose guitar, and percussion like a low tide. This is one of those songs I’ve come around to much more with time, because I distinctly remember skipping this a lot. You’ll find I’ve listened to this album a fair few times, though the section between 2+2=5 and Go To Sleep is one I skipped a fair bit, I think.
Backdrifts is a heavily electronic song that apparently in part predates Kid A and Amnesiac, which is kind of interesting- we’ll see a bit more of that later. As a track, it’s kind of spacy- the synth instrumental feels like something out of an eerie sci-fi film, if you notched the tempo up a bit.
Backdrifts is also the first song where I can see the “too long” argument come in. Not for the album (though I believe it’s one of the ones the alternate tracklist leaves out), but the song itself- I’m not sure this is a song that needs to be the second longest on the album (and only by a second). It’s fine, but considering what it comes off and what follows it, it’s in a bit of an awkward spot.
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Go To Sleep is another one that kinda took me a while to get. I always heard it as being one of the top tracks on the thing, but it never really clicked with me for a while. I suppose I’ve never been massive on purely acoustic-guitar-led affairs? With age, though, I’ve better appreciated the depth the song has. Possibly the folkiest song the band has, it might have taken me getting into R.E.M. to recognize what the song is.
And the song is good!
But unfortunately for Go To Sleep, Where I End and You Begin is my favourite Radiohead track.
Holy shit, this song sounds so fucking sick. That percussion, that bassline, those fucking Ondes Martenot babyyyy. The song is spacey and ethereal, but tied down by the more traditional elements of the instrumentation. The fantastical lyricism tying into very real themes of personal boundaries, how they define how people interact, and how when they fail, things tend to go badly- “There’ll be no more lies, I will eat you alive”. It’s just an absolute fucking track.
I don’t think I can possibly explain why I like this song so much. Opinions and favourites are kind of like that. But it just speaks to me. The hyper-fuzzed out guitar soloing in the bridge, the loneliness of the second verse, it’s just incredible.
Also it possibly references Optimistic with the lyrics which is cool! I also like that song a lot.
The subtitle, (The Sky Is Falling In), is something I’ve not been able to find a reference for regarding it’s meaning, but since I like the song so much, I’m going to do some interpreting. If we assume the song is about boundaries in a relationship, it’s clear that the final lyrics are the utter devastation after those boundaries are breached. But “The Sky Is Falling In” fits better with the third verse, what with the house falling into the sea- the tipping point has broken, the household (or, the house) is in freefall, the sky is falling with it. But that’s just my opinion, man.
Still with me? We’re not even halfway.
We Suck Young Blood can best be described as off-kilter, perhaps even deliberately out of tempo. A very pointed use of handclaps, typically a part of substantially more energetic tracks than the dirge this song presents. I’m sure this isn’t what the song is about, but at face value the lyrics read like some sort of social service run by vampires- give us your young blood, and we’ll make things better for you. In a way, it’s kind of fun, silly even. I suppose the claps help with that. The track is otherwise just, melancholic- slow, piano-y, even the sudden pickup barely lasts- though I always forget it’s there, making it kind of a surprise every time. Like, oh shit, we’re going somewhere for a bit, I need to put my seatbelt back on- ah never mind it’s over (and then the song keeps going for a while).
We come now to The Gloaming, the song that was originally going to be the title track for the album. They changed it, apparently, because it got rejected- too gloomy, apparently. According to Wikipedia, a fair few of the subtitles from the album’s tracks also came from proposed names for the album proper.
The song itself is also pretty gloomy, as it happens. Apparently, it’s literally about the rise of fascism, so fair enough. An electronic track, with many a repetition, feeling uneasy and cold the whole way through (making the subtitle, Softly Open our Mouths in the Cold, pretty apt). It feels almost minimalistic at times, without especially many lines running through it- and without a big crescendo like many to most of these songs have, it feels somewhat lifeless- a deliberate choice, no doubt.
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Oh shit, are we up to There There? We are! God this song fucks. Those opening drums are iconic, not to mention the way it layers onto itself. And the video! Eerie horror at its finest.
Like, I know Where I End and You Begin is my favourite song on this album unquestionably. But there is no doubt in my mind that There There is the best song on the album.
Good enough that I don’t have anything really interesting to say about it? Like many songs on this album, it’s got a big old crescendo, but the build is just so smooth, and the climax is just such a swelling. “We are accidents waiting to happen” is such a powerful lyric, and it’s hardly the only one on the song. A comment I’ve seen about the song describes the guitar as akin to laughter, a mood I can definitely see in the track itself.
Anyway the song ended so I guess I gotta move on.
I Will is kind of an interesting case. It’s unquestionably one of the most emotional songs on the album, considering it was written about a U.S. bombing of a shelter that wiped out 408 innocent people, and that’s fucking horrifying (S.O.P. for the Army it seems). It’s short, and…well it’s not sweet, but it is tragic and haunting.
It’s also a song that went through variation on variation before finally appearing on this album. Early live performances date to 5 whole years before Hail to the Thief, and considering the bombing was in 1991, it was probably written well before then. Versions of this track are kind of everywhere as a result- one early version was eventually chopped up and reproduced into Like Spinning Plates on Amnesiac- reconstructions of the process are available on citizeninsane.eu- or they were, at least, because apparently that site’s embeds relied on Flash.
I do particularly want to highlight the Los Angeles version of the song, which was a b-side on 2+2=5 (and also was on the Com Lag EP), because it’s a fuller version of the track- not necessarily better, but the full band is involved, making it a much different experience.
Track 11, A Punchup At A Wedding, has become somewhat of a meme on the Radiohead subreddit. Mostly it’s a result of the opening lyric, literally “No” 42 times over. The subtitle, for reference, is also all “No”s. On a similarly lighter note, the track is apparently a result of the band stumbling upon just a needlessly scathing review of one of their live shows, making it one of the few Radiohead tracks I could confidently say is about one person in particular. With all the second person, the lyrics probably wouldn’t be out of place on an early Linkin Park track (whether that’s an insult or not, I’ll leave as an exercise to the reader).
The slow, almost marchlike rhythm of the song well suits the tone of the lyrics, and to be clear, the tone is pretty much “Man, what the fuck is wrong with you?” and the emotions that come with being torn down by someone who doesn’t know you or really recognise what they’re doing. I suppose it’s refreshing for the metaphor to be this obvious for once. It’s a pretty decent song, piano-driven like many a song on the album, which means theoretically if I ever relearn the instrument I could play it. Maybe.
Myxomatosis, while a pretty fucked up disease, is an absolutely excellent song. If 2+2=5 is the heaviest rock song on the album, Myxomatosis is the heaviest electronic song on it. The lyricism is incredibly dark, unsettling and violent, suiting the harsh buzzing synth line. They say fuck in this one! And the way the entire song save percussion drops for the key line (I don’t know why I feel so tongue-tied/skinned alive) is so excellent. Interestingly, said line also appears word-for-word in Cuttooth, a B-side from Amnesiac, though the mood is profoundly different.
I suspect the song being named Myxomatosis and being pretty clearly about public perception and fame should give you a hint as to how the band views the media and the world of the rich and famous- the subtitle, (Judge, Jury, & Executioner), certainly adds to that. Thom sounds a mix of hesitant, confused, disgusted, and frustrated on the track, and it works incredibly well.
We’re finally on to the penultimate track, Scatterbrain. And I’m going to be honest, I don’t know what this one’s about. I’m out of patience to figure out what Genius is going on about, though it’s fairly incomplete for this track anyway. It’s relatively simple, for a Radiohead track, and pretty enough, but I can see why people don’t tend to like this one as much. I distinctly remember it being bottom of the list or close to it on a subreddit poll at some point (might have been above We Suck Young Blood, which I don’t agree with).
Scatterbrain kind of just has the problem of being a pretty decent album track, right between two of my favourite songs on the album. Which is awkward as always.
Our final song is A Wolf at the Door, and talk about a closer. Thom has described it as like waking up from a nightmare and finding out reality is worse, which is both relatable and upsetting. The song is grim, with confusing imagery in the verses leading to a desperately emotional chorus about someone’s children being fucking ransomed. Also, a bridge with more Nos than A Punchup at a Wedding, where are your No (x105) memes Reddit, get it fucking together!
The lyrics of the verses in A Wolf at the Door have a swaying flow to them that’s almost rap-like, especially since the falsetto that Thom usually sings in around this time is completely absent from them. This makes it one of the few rap-ish songs I’ve actually tried to perform, and I’d probably be pretty okay if I didn’t keep forgetting bits.
The song is just, frustration (verse 1), desperation (chorus), anger/frustration (verse 2), and back to desperation (chorus) again, which doesn’t quite fit the stages of grief cleanly, but that’s probably fine. The final vocalisation of the song (and thereby the album) feels almost like a sorrowful howl, which makes less sense the more I think about the imagery and intent of the lyrics, so maybe just ignore that actually. There is just so much imagery packed into this track, especially in the second verse, that listing it out is pointless- but it all just clicks so well, into this deluge of frustration and madness carried along by that instrumental that just seems to get lower and lower forever.
Anyway that’s the whole album, isn’t it? I’m going to keep this outro brief, because we’re approaching 3000 words at this point, but I think that fact says it all. There’s a lot of Hail to the Thief, but it never really misses per se. It has less great songs, but no bad ones. I’d argue my own biases probably cloud my judgement, but even if some of the tracks are more forgettable, the highs are so high for me that it easily stands among the band’s best.
Unfortunately, not everyone agrees with me. But that’s fine, this is my opinion, the rest of the world is allowed to be wrong.
A lot of things would happen between Hail to the Thief’s release in 2003 and the followup, In Rainbows, in 2007. But that’s ultimately a story for another day. A week from today, to be precise.
See you then?
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mutuals (pjmxreader) [bonus:celibacy]
~mutuals~ [youtuber!reader x idol!jimin] social media AU
synopsis: park jimin is a (slightly problematic) idol singer, and he becomes completely smitten with a youtuber after stumbling upon her dance cover to his own song.
genre: fluff, a good dosing of cracK, literally two seconds of angst blink and u miss it
word count: 2.3k
[A/N]: thank you for all the love you’ve given mutuals! can’t believe it’s only been like one week since this blog has been up hehE enjoy this drabble of thirsty!jimin after he found your video. if you have no idea what i’m talking about gO READ THE FIRST CHAPTER
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When JinHit first hit record sales with the success of Jimin’s mini album, and RAPLINE’s first title single a couple years ago, Jin finally gave in to Jimin’s begging and gave all the artists their own personalised studio in the JinHit building. It’s where all the greatest hits on the charts are written. It’s practically the modern eighth wonder of the world, considering the names and talent that have graced the walls.
Jimin, Yoongi, and Namjoon all have their separate studios to write, produce, and record in, and all three of the small rooms are located next to each other. Partially because of design and common sense, but also so all three friends can conveniently annoy each other when needed. Jin’s office isn’t too far away either, just across the floor. Usually, if they’re all working in the studio, they’ll walk over to Jin’s office during lunch hour and leech off his amazing personal pantry in his office. The office is much, much bigger than their studios, and Jimin never fails to remind Jin that.
All three artists have grown a little attached to their studios. It’s where they do what they all love most, after all. Yoongi barely lets anyone into his ‘Genius Lab’, and ever since a staff member accidentally messed with his coffee machine, he hasn’t let anyone step foot in. Nobody’s even allowed to come inside Namjoon’s studio during what he calls his ‘namjoon talent time’ which is basically just a period of time before comeback season where he locks himself in the studio, writing music 24/7.
He occasionally asks Jimin to listen to his unreleased files for suggestions, but other than that, noone except Yoongi goes inside his studio during ‘namjoon talent time’, and Namjoon only reluctantly lets him in as his bandmate. Not that Jimin minds, he hasn’t been let inside since he accidentally mistook Joon’s studio for his own and brought one of his one-night-stands over. Joonie was horrified, and made Jimin sanitise, wash and clean every part of the room, all while he cried about how his ‘baby was molested’. It was traumatising for both parties.
Out of the three, Jimin’s the least protective over his studio, even though he’s the one who put the most effort into it. He’s spent years perfecting it, making it the best place for inspiration and writing music. Everything in the studio has been personally chosen and thought out by him. The snacks and custom mini fridge, the wall of his entire discography, trophies, music awards, and his personal favourite, the official JIMIN logo sign above the couch.
It lights up in purple.
Despite being a pretty stereotypical assholey partying douche idol, Jimin’s likes to think he’s actually quite talented. He’s been named ‘Most professional idol’ on every single online survey he can find (He’s also always voted for ‘Most handsome’, but that’s besides the point), and it’s true. Jimin never sells himself short. He is a professional musician, singer, and producer. He writes his own music, choreographs his own dancing, and uses his platform to spread positive, meaningful messages. There’s a reason he’s so internationally successful, and it’s because he’s talented.
Maybe right now isn’t a great example of his talent. Jimin was in his studio, holding his head in his hands. Sure, he’s a globally recognised and accomplished songwriter, but to be honest, he hadn’t written a single piece of original JIMIN music since he wrote ‘Filter’ with Namjoon months ago. He was in the biggest creative slump in his entire career. He had tried almost everything, co-writing, exercise, music samples, playing around on instruments. Hell he even tried music therapy. Whatever melody he tried to create, whatever lyrics he tried to write, it all came out sounding like garbage.
Yesterday was a little bit of a blow to Jimin’s ego. It was three in the morning, and he’d been in the studio for seven hours, with only one verse written.
I love to let loose,
Have you ever tried eating moose?
It’s all so bananas,
Tony fucking Montana.
Yeah, it’s pretty embarrassing. It’s not even a verse, it looks more like a kindergartener’s attempt to write poetry. For the first time in his life, he doesn’t really feel like writing music or putting his thoughts in a song. Jimin is just plain out of ideas. He has nothing to write about. And if he doesn’t have good content to put out, he’d rather not put anything out at all.
But he still hates it. All his life, he’s coped by writing, singing and dancing. This writer’s block has been too frustrating. Too many sleepless nights and crumpled papers have been wasted over it, with no progress or music in result. Plus, Jin might be one of his closest friends, but Jin was also a boss, and he still needed more tracks for Jimin’s big comeback, happening end of the year.
He can’t help it. Jimin has nothing left to write about. He opened one eye when he heard the distant ding of his phone coming from somewhere in the studio. Grumbling incoherently, he opened the notification, to find… you.
Jimin’s mouth was hanging open the entire video. His eyes twitched the tiniest bit and he almost dropped the phone when you said his face was “decent”, but he had to watch it again, because the first time around, he didn’t hear a word that came out your damn mouth. He was otherwise… preoccupied. No matter how much he tried, he just couldn’t tear his damn eyes off the screen. Curse Min Yoongi for sending him this.
He even cringed when he had to bring his sleeve up to wipe the tiniest bit of drool off his face. Practically salivating. What the fuck? How old was he? He was Park Jimin, why was he popping a boner from watching some stranger on the internet dance to his songs? He’s been in the industry for way too long now, he was practically immune to scantily clad women prancing around him. So why he completed concentrated on your stupid little crop top? Not to mention, you were practically insulting him at this point. What was so special?
For one moment, Jimin forced his eyes off the screen, wondering if the sleep deprivation had really affected him that much, or if this was another side effect of the writer’s block he’s been having. It’s the partying ‘clean act’ ban Jin’s been forcing me to go on, he thought, even though Jimin wasn’t totally convinced of that. (Despite swearing not to, he looked straight back to down at his phone afterwards to reply the video.)
He was so fixated on the screen, he didn’t even notice when Yoongi flung the door open and walked inside. Jimin only lifted his head when he heard Yoongi’s obnoxiously loud groan.
“What- When did you get here?” Yoongi recently went back to a fan-favourite hair colour of his, and Jimin was still not used to seeing him with bright mint coloured hair. In his opinion, he looked like a highlighter, but Yoongi seemed to not mind it.
“I’ve been standing here for the past two minutes, drinking my coffee. The fuck you watching on your phone that’s got you drooling?”
“NOTHING.” Yoongi narrowed his eyes, and before Jimin could even move away, he managed to snatch the phone away from Jimin’s hands.
“What the fuck- how? You know, this is why your fanbase thinks you’re a cat.” Yoongi ignored his words with ease. “Oh my god,” He said. “Are you watching the video I sent you? I didn’t expect you to actually watch it.”
“I always watch my fan’s videos after a comeback!” Jimin insisted, clawing upwards to steal his own phone back, but Yoongi kept slapping his hands away.
“Yeah, but this isn’t a fan. This is just like, one of your fanboys and a girl roasting you.” Yoongi stared back at Jimin suspiciously when he tried to defend himself. “Why were you watching this girl dance like a starving man, Chim?”
“Just, because- what- I was nOT watching her like a starving man. Don’t look at me like I’m some kind of a pervert!” Jimin finally managed to grab ahold of his phone again, and he threw it behind him on the couch, away from Yoongi.
“Hyung,” He sighed. “I think maybe it’s Jin’s new ‘clean, good boy’ rule. Along with this stupid fucking slump I’ve been having these days, I just don’t feel great, okay? So don’t be so fussy with me. I can’t write, I can’t party… If I want to ogle over some random girl on the internet, I will.” Jimin cringed once the words came out of his mouth, but Yoongi slowly nodded, sitting down on the couch.
Min Yoongi may be a little too gay to understand Jimin’s womaniser ways, but the frustration behind not being able to write music, that, he understood. “You’re trying to justify being a perv by using your mental problems, but I’ll talk to you about that later on.”
“Chim, we all have our slumps. It’s honestly a wonder that this is your first serious creative block. Me and Joon, and every single artist in the world, is bound to go through that at some point. It’s not the end. You’ll still be able to write good music soon, you’re a good writer.” Jimin refused to meet Yoongi’s eyes, even if what he was saying did make a little sense. He just chose to stay silent.
“You just have nothing left to write about. You can’t keep living like this though, Chimmy. It’s unhealthy.”
“What do you mean, unhealthy? I’m perfectly fine, thank you.”
Yoongi stared at him deadpan, gesturing to the entire state of his studio. “It’s a complete mess in here,” He said. “Plus, I don’t think you’ve left this studio for days. The others may not want to say it to your face, but we’re all a bit worried about you. Stop forcing yourself to ingest all these redbulls to try to keep writing.”
“When inspiration comes, it’ll come. You can’t force it, it doesn’t work that way. What you need, is a break. Go back home for once, maybe visit your mom. And for god’s sakes, take a shower please. Trust me, okay?”
Yoongi doesn’t like admitting it, but he’s the most caring one out of their friend group. Anyone can tell from the look in his eyes right now, that he’s genuinely concerned about his friend. He’s also the one with most sense, but Jimin will never tell him that, because his advice, no matter how sensible, is useless.
All he’s known is singing, writing, and throwing himself in work. To just stop? Even if it’s to take a short break, it doesn’t feel right to Jimin. Instead of telling Yoongi his problems, he just poked his tongue in his cheek. If lightbulbs actually popped up above people’s heads when they had a good idea, a massive one would’ve appeared on top of Jimin’s.
“I’ve got it!” He said, excitedly. Yoongi sat up straight. “You’re going to take my advice for once?”
“No, of course not, Hyung. Don’t be silly.” Yoongi slouched his back again, closing his eyes.
“I’ll just hit this girl up!” Yoongi’s eyes snapped open.
“What.”
“Yeah! Who knows, y’know? Maybe I’ve been keeping myself to Jin’s rules a little too well. It won’t hurt the company if I let myself go just once. Blow off some steam, come back fresh and recharged.” Jimin rubbed his hands together like a bad Disney villain.
“It’s too early for this.” Yoongi whispered, pinching the bridge of his nose.
“It’s three in the afternoon.” Yoongi ignored him.
“You really aren’t going to take my advice, huh.”
“Nope!” Jimin said, popping the ‘p’ annoyingly.
“You promised Jin you’d go celibate.”
“I said I’d clean up the partying act. I don’t recall taking a vow of celibacy.” Yoongi just sighed, and fell back down on the sofa, mindlessly sipping at his coffee.
Jimin hesitated. “You’re not going to… tell me not to? Or give me another one of your eco-feminist speeches again?” Yoongi shrugged.
“You���ve heard it too many times. Plus, I have a feeling this is going to be funny.”
“Funny? Hyung, what part of this could possible be funny to you?” There was a brief pause filled with awkward silence, before Yoongi blinked slowly.
“When she rejects you, of course.” Jimin threw his jacket, aimed straight for Yoongi’s head. His stupidly fast cat-like reflexes managed to dodge it, but Jimin scowled at him nonetheless.
“She’s not going to reject me.” Jimin walked over, picking up the very same jacket he threw at Yoongi, before plopping his sunglasses back on his face. “No woman has ever managed to reject me before, and I intend on adding her to that list.” He pursed his lips.
“Plus, she’s super hot. Great ass. Attractive people attract attractive people.” Jimin turned his phone back on once more to sneak one last peek at you in the thumbnail of the video, before stuffing his phone into his back pocket. “I just need to get it out of my system. This might be what I need to get me out of this creative rut!”
He could’ve sworn Yoongi muttered something under his breath, something along the lines of ‘fucking asshole’, but he chose to ignore it.
“Alright, well, see you, Yoons!” Jimin practically skipped out of the studio, startling the producer’s assistant outside with his slightly disturbing enlarged grin.
“Don’t come crying to me when she refuses to get in your pants, you fucking diva!”
Jimin continued walking towards the elevator, but he threw up his middle finger behind him.
“DON’T RUIN MY EXIT, BITCH!”
[taglist:] @notmontae97 @lucedelsole97
#bts#bangtan#bangtanboys#bangtan soyeondan#kim namjoon#kim seokjin#min yoongi#jung hoseok#park jimin#kim taehyung#jeon jungkook#bts fanfiction#bts sm#bts fake texts#bts sm au#bts au#idol!au#park jimin fanfiction#park jimin fic#jimin fic#jimin drabble#jimin fluff#bts crack#jimin x reader#taekook#vkook#taekook au#jimin au#mutuals#jimin hcs
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If I Can Be So Bold: Chapter 5 (Jack White x OC)
Summary: Shes back in Nashville and Ben finally drags Lee out to a Third Man show. To Lee’s surprise, she runs into an old friend...
WC: 3k
Warnings: Cigarettes, maybe cursing (?), and death by Jack White.
Notes: Damn y’all its my best chapter to date. Honestly im pretty damn proud of this. Also why is jack white so damn hard to write. Is he a hard ass with a heart of gold, or a dad who happens to play guitar. When i figure it out ill let you know. PS. If you find my fic reference (or fic rec for anyone who hasn’t read it) shoutout to you. If youre anything like me you read the whole series in two days and couldn’t think about anything else. You probably also looked up Rosaries for sale.
This was 14 years in the making. We were bound to run into each other again. I was expecting it in a weird way. It always works out that way; you get over old turmoil, and the moment it’s gone, they show up. Your breath is sucked from your lungs, and you’re practically drowning on the spot even though you’re not even near water. Every single emotion in your being is trying to cram through your mouth, and you end up choking on it. Who knew it’d be today I die a death by Jack White. Guess I ran that risk when I entered his stomping grounds.
“Lee, I swear I didn’t know he’d be here. I wouldn’t have brought you if I’d known. I’m gonna buy you any record in the store, whatever you want. Oh god, how am I going to fix this? Guess I could do emergency distraction plan #6. Though id need a knife-” I subtly flicked the back of his arm to shut him up. His panicked ramblings were only making me more nervous. He was here, actually here. I guess I just thought I'd have a couple more years of peace.
He was staring so intensely at me, but not in anger or guilt. He was nervous. He was frozen and rigid. He was always so loose and eased into a room. Even when he was anxious, it never showed. As soon as I gained something from the absolute shock of it, all my body went against my brain. I felt my legs start to make their way over to him shakily, and there was no stopping them. Fuck I didn’t will this happen. Panic was bubbling up in my chest again. It didn’t help that he wasn’t reacting other than his eyes growing larger with each step I took. Finally, I reached him, and my arms tightly wrapped around him. This was better than the alternative that I thought would happen, which would end with a shiner and some bruised knuckles. He hadn’t grown length, but as I finally felt it all, I realized he'd grown into a man, out of his boyish figure from all those years ago. I sank into it, warm feelings bubbling up in my chest. I could finally breathe for a moment. He didn’t reciprocate my hug, but I met his eyes when I looked up at him, and all I could see was pure shock. I don’t think he would’ve moved if someone yelled fire.
He mumbled, “Why don’t we find somewhere a little more private to talk, Rosie.” I quickly nodded my head, and all that anxiety came back as soon as it was gone. I did not appreciate this little roller coaster I was on. He put his hand on my back to softly guide me to wherever we were going. It was a painfully silent walk as we weaved through Third Man. My brain kept flashing back to all the moments of our short end, mixing with all the good memories it made for a weird emotional cocktail. The more I thought about how little time we’d actually known each other, I got even more panicked. A year. That’s it, and I still acted like we were childhood friends who wronged each other. I shouldn’t be feeling all of this over a man who had such little time in my life. Still, that doesn’t change that he was at the forefront of my mind for all those years after. God, his hand was burning me where it lay.
I hadn’t realized we’d made it to the spot until his words broke my thoughts. “Welcome to the Third Man roof, my secret spot, if you will.” I looked up to see a couple of lawn chairs and a crate between them, acting as a makeshift table. Cigarette butts strewed around the chair farthest from the edge. Jack was already walking towards what I assumed to be his chair. In tow, I followed, pulling my pack out of my pocket and lighting a cig. If this was going to happen, I was going to need a goddamn cigarette. He grimaced at the sight of Marlboros, pulling out his pack. Red Camels, still the same all these years later. Somethings just don’t change. Guess that’s comforting.
“I thought you were a camels girl. What happened there?” He was already reaching for another to hand to me.
“Oh, just had to settle when on tour for whatever others had. It just stuck, I guess…” A lie. I put mine out on the ground when I sat down and grabbed the nostalgic camel out of his hand, our fingers barely touching.
We sat in silence, smoking a piece of our past. I sure as hell didn’t know where to start, and I don’t think he did either. My body took over just as it had before and did what I couldn’t manage. I was blurting out words before I knew what was happening.
I stumbled out, “I bought all your records over the years.” Smooth.
A small smile fell onto his face, and he took another drag. “I did the same thing.” He looked over at me, quickly looked me over, then took a quick drag and put it on on the ground. “Have a favorite?”
I pretended to think like I hadn’t thought of having a favorite. “I guess I’d have to say Consolers of the Lonely, but if we’re talking The Stripes, I’d have to say De Stijl. Though I always feel like I should say your first, since you know, I’m on it.” I sent a small smile his way and started to ease into my seat more. Not sitting up so straight, ready to bolt at any moment. “What about you, Jack? Hm? Have a Rosalie Wright favorite?”
He answered without hesitation, “Surrender. I really liked that sound you had in 2004, where you got dirty and loud. It was a big change from your old blues tone. Someone told me it was because you moved to New Jersey, which honestly makes sense.” He stopped for a second and looked off. “That band, Leathermouth. When that album dropped, I played it when I was working in the upholstery shop, and Karen walked in. She turned right around after hearing, I think... My love has gone flat? I don’t know, but she asked me if I was doing okay at dinner that night.” He quietly laughed to himself, thinking over the memory.
“Anyone who wasn’t in the band asks me the same thing! They all said, “Hey, your new albums great! How are you doing? You need someone to talk to?” My smile fell. “Too bad all the guys found god. Nothing against that, of course! Just sucks they had to quit the band. Not Frankie, though. He wouldn’t find god even if he came to him on a piece of toast. I’d probably take some freak case of Stigmata for him even to consider it… Why am I still talking?” I blushed, realizing I'd been rambling too long about nothing that probably interested him
Jack waved his hand in the air to dismiss my worries. “We’ve got years to catch up on, Rosie. Besides, I’ve missed your ramblings.” He lit two more cigs, handing one over to me. His stare lingered on me, and his eyes softened from his stoic face. “I really have missed you, Rosie… All these years and I’m still not quite sure what you’ve been up to. I’ve only heard things here and there from Ben.” He took a long drag. “Where have you been all this time?”
I took a deep breath in, knowing the answer wouldn’t be the best. I spent a fair amount of drinking myself into oblivion over something he caused, so I kept my answer brief, “Oh, you know, toured, drank, slept in fans and friends basements. You know, a typical musician’s life. Oh! Got put on the FBI watchlist over a Leathermouth song. That was a fun night for Frankie and me.”
He chuckled, put out his cig, and turned his body towards me. The same warm smile was adorning him. As I said, some things just don’t change. “I mean, I don’t know what you expected when you play a song with that title. It’s one of the only things you legally can’t say.”
“Punk is punk, Jack. Too bad I was only playing guitar. I would’ve loved to scream that.” I put my cig out and put all my attention towards him. I hadn’t thoroughly looked at him the whole time we were up there. “It was hard not to stay caught up with you, Jack. You were everywhere. I tried not to pry, though. I never trusted the press. Though I heard about the divorce last year… I’m sorry you had to go through that again.”
His smile faltered, and he stared down at his hands for a second. “It was inevitable. We were too different for it to last. I guess this shit always happens for a reason, huh? We just fell out of love, and that was that. I had a party to commemorate new friendships and everything. At least she can’t hide my Billie Holiday records now…” He trailed off on that last sentence. I could barely hear it, but I caught the small comment. He still thought about me. I didn’t mention it though. I could barely think back to the old memories. Me making him dance with me to Billie Holiday's self titled album. I guess I just wanted to feel like we were really together back then, creating that fantasy. I felt like I had to wave my imaginary hands around in my head to clear out the memories that had risen to the surface. He was making it so hard to have a clear head.
We stayed quiet for a moment. He seemed lost in his thoughts. We were always good at comfortable silences. I think we just liked being in each other’s presence, having that person next to you. It was weird to think that I only had these old images of him to think back to. He looked so different. He was built, his face filled out, his height would make him look skinnier than he was back then. He’s muscular, probably from years of touring with heavy equipment. He looked his age. His eyes hadn’t changed though. His face was almost menacing for how serious it naturally rested. His eyes stayed bright, excited for everything ahead of him. He always hid that, and he probably still does.
“I’m sorry, Rosie. For everything that happened. It was selfish of me to -” I cut him off. This was for another day. I don’t think I could handle drudging up the past tonight.
“Make it up to me some other time. I just want to enjoy you tonight.” I sent a smile his way and went to stand up. “Better make it good though.” I went to lean against the wall to take in the Nashville skyline I missed so much.
I heard the gravel crunch underneath his shoes as he made his way next to me. His lighter clicked, and the sweet smell of tobacco filled the air. Moments later, he appeared next to me, cigarette in hand, ready for me to take. He clicked his lighter on and offered it out for me to light. I leaned in close and took a heavy drag. My eyes caught his left hand, cupping around the flame. No ring. It really was done, no lingering feelings. I moved back to lean against the small wall, leaning my head against my hand. I tried not to focus on the emotions that stirred in me when I noticed the absent metal on his finger.
“I really did miss this. Detroit was beautiful, but it never could beat the Nashville skyline. Maybe I was just missing home.” I finally got to take in the scenery around us. September in Nashville has never really been cold. I feel like I should be worried about that, but if I can avoid a sweater, I will. It was a comfortable kind of warm. You could sit out on your porch and not think about a thing. The small breeze was nice, taking away from the constant humidity. Then there was that constant. It never felt like Nashville’s downtown ever changed from far away. It was just stuck in time. The deeper you go, the more you realize the magic of music city is being taken over by honky tonks and drunk bachelorettes. Though the farther you drift away, the more you can feel like you're in the good ole days of classic Nashville. Back when the Ernest Tubb Record Shop didn't have a constant flow of Lynyrd Skynyrd cover bands but had undiscovereds like Loretta. Now you just have to settle for the sights and the small music scene curated by The End.
“Is it bad I feel the same way? Even if it’s not home home, it still feels like it. I think the skyline reminded me of coming home after long tours. It’s always the first thing you see. It’s a comfort.”
We weren’t touching technically, but our shoulders were so close I could feel it. I think he was deliberately keeping his space. I should be mad or angry. Something. But the feeling of him next to me was just as calming as the views. That same feeling of home lulling you in. He always felt like that to me. That dumb warm feeling in your chest that makes heavier days just a little lighter. It’s a bit shameful that I feel it all now, just as strong as back then.
“You know the only reason I came tonight is because Ben told me you wouldn’t be here. Something about your kids,” I took a drag. “Not that I regret coming! I just- Kids. How fucking weird is that? Never pictured you with kids. I always saw you as the same lanky kid from before.”
He snorted and bumped my shoulder with his own. “You know I found it odd you never had any. I mean, you were always weirdly maternal with Ben back when he was a teenager. You about took my head off when I told you I gave him a couple of beers. Oh, and those times I practically had to rip Jasper out of your arms after we got home from one of our first tours.”
“He was 16! His brain wasn’t fully formed yet, plus your mom would’ve murdered you.” I gave his arm a small playful hit and took another drag. “And I just haven’t had the time. Or the means to. I mean, I dated like two guys? Both were shit bag roadies who lasted all of two weeks. I kissed Frankie once, but the moment it ended, we about threw up. He’s a different kind of family. His kids call me Auntie Lee if that says anything.”
The conversation ended at that, and we fell back into our silence. I looked over and saw a small, content smile on his face that I was so used to seeing. Some things just don’t change.
It feels weird sitting here with him. We both were so happy to see each other. We just wanted to enjoy this time. At least, I think he’s the same way. He seems guarded, it’s subtle, but that wall is there. He used to be like this, but for different reasons. Secret wife reasons. I can only assume that now it’s the fame he’s been showered with. You can't show all your feelings with recognition like that. Out of the corner of my eye, I caught him checking his watch. He muttered out shit when seeing the time.
Exasperatingly he said, “Speaking of kids, I’ve got to get home. I didn’t realize how late it had gotten. I promised Scarlett I'd be home to say goodnight.”
My smile faltered a little, but my heart grew at the comment about scarlet. He’s always loved so hard. It was only natural that he would be a good father.
We both put out our cigs and silently made our way out to where his car parked. I just mindlessly followed along, definitely not thinking about him and how wonderful he probably was with his kids.
When we got there, we just kind of stood there. Neither of us knew how to say goodbye. It was never something we did.
“I’m really glad I got to see you tonight, Rosie. Seriously.”
My body betrayed me, just like it had in the recording room. I quickly moved forward and hugged him tightly, except this time, I could enjoy it a little more. His frame was so warm compared to the chilly September night. He finally wrapped his arms around me and practically threw himself into the embrace. He had no hesitation whatsoever. I nuzzled my face into his chest, a bit too shamelessly, but this was 14 years in the making.
When we finally (and hesitantly) pulled away, he asked, “ Listen, I don’t think I can just walk around town knowing you’re here and not see you. Can we get coffee or something? I don’t care what we do as long as it’s with you.”
I felt a giant smile fall onto my face. I was afraid this whole time we would just kind of say goodbye and not talk again. It was dumb to feel so happy over a small gesture, but it was just what I was looking for. He was infectious back then, and he is. Once you fall back into his circle, you never wanted to leave. “I’ll agree to coffee only if,” I gave him a playful poke in the side, “you help me fix my amp. I can usually do it, but I really did a number on her this time.” I held out my hand for him to shake. It’s not a deal if you don’t shake on it.
“It’s a date then.” A small smile appeared on his face, and he grabbed my hand to shake it.
“It’s a date.” We stood their just shaking hands and smiling at each other. We probably looked insane from far away, but who cares. Me and Jack were on the road to reasonable terms.
Tag list: @shamoane @elinyaes
#jack white#the white stripes#nosferatyou writes#if i can be so bold fic#if i can be so bold#the raconteurs#leathermouth#frank iero#UHV reference#can you tell that ive hyper fixated on frank as well#its obvious i know#gotta slide him into my works somehow#also they really got to cut down on the cigs#the bastards#also ben whats the distraction plan number 6#im curious#and as i always say#bet Jack is a bottom#bet you like 5 bucks and the little clay mushroom house i made
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Atlas: Space, Moon
TITLE: Atlas: Space
CHAPTER NO./ONE-SHOT: 5/12
AUTHOR: fanfictrashdump
ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine narrating episodes of Loki’s life with the Avengers based on the songs from Sleeping At Last’s “Atlas: Space” album.
RATING: T-M
NOTES/WARNINGS: Welcome to my Sleeping At Last’s Atlas: Space challenge, aka Another writing project I do not have time for, but my brain insisted on doing.
This series will be less like a multichapter fic and more of a one-shot compendium, but that they all interconnect in one way or another. It will revolve around Loki and Becca’s relationship (Taking Turns, Glow, Helmet Heists–don’t worry, more Loki-Charlie stuff will be along) and I will use those one-shots as reference to the timeline. Each chapter will be one song, used as inspiration for the story.
Chapter 5: Moon
Summary: Hell hath no wrath like an out-of-the-loop Tony. Are you ready for this to get kinda soft? Because it gets kinda soft. (Happens previous to Taking Turns.)
Warnings include: Language. Loki wishing heat-stroke had taken him, soft and vulnerable frost giant fluff, and two idiots who just need to fucking kiss already.
=
[Instrumental track-really good reading music, btw]
Loki groaned pitifully as he awoke. His whole body felt like it had been dipped in lead and tossed to the bottom of the deepest ocean where he fell into an ever-deepening trench. Except he wasn’t dipped in anything. He wasn’t in the ocean. He was in the Med Bay, after, most likely, being pulled out of the mission, and, after the humiliation of passing out, he just wished he was drowning.
He tried moving his fingers first, opening and closing his fists tentatively to gauge the ache. He found the dull throb a reminder that he was, indeed, an idiot. His skin looked pale–well, paler than usual–and several lines seemed to have been placed directly into his veins with fluids. He wondered how Banner had even managed to get the needles to pierce his skin, but that was neither here nor there.
A noise of pages turning beside him, rustled. Loki bargained with the universe to end his miserable existence now, rather than have to face the person he knew was occupying the chair beside his bed. The universe denied his plea, as it always did. He wondered why he even bothered asking, anymore.
Becca looked about as tired as he felt. Though her hair was tied up in a sleek braid that was draped over her shoulder, and her clothes looked fresh and kempt, her eyes had dark bags beneath them. They were also rimmed in red. She had been crying. Surely it had not been over him, had it? With a groan, he sat up.
“Welcome back.” Her voice was soft, though hoarse and her face was littered in small, half-healed cuts. He must not have been asleep for too long. He was almost hesitant to break the calm quietness of the moment, though that was quickly solved.
The sound of Bruce repeating Tony’s name in a plea echoed in the empty medical facility. A second later Tony, red in the face, was in front of Loki’s cot, pointer finger gesturing the Prince.
“Do you have any idea how fucked we could have been because of your little stunt?” Loki had the good sense to look down in shame, hair forming a dark curtain around his face to hide the flush creeping up his neck. “If Becca hadn’t been in position to get to you, we’d be retrieving your corpse right around now. Do you understand that, Loki? Dead! You would survived every other fucking thing the Universe had thrown at you and you would’ve bowed out because of fucking heat stroke!”
He growled, seemingly no longer capable of speech and knocked over a tray, making both Becca and Loki start.
“I had to pull Thor from his assignment because I had no idea if he was going to pass out, too. We had to scramble the whole roster to finish the mission because you weren’t bothered to tap out when you reached your limit! We nearly fucked this whole op because of you. You are in such deep shit, Mischief. I swear to God!”
With that sentiment hanging in the air, Tony turned tail and stomped his way out of the hospital room.
Loki turned to Becca, his eyes looked pained as he took her in. “I’m so–” She raised a finger, wordlessly telling him to hold his thought before she pointed back at the Med Bay entrance where Tony was rushing back in. She seemed almost amused by the man’s predictability. In reality, she was just used to seeing this song and dance routine being done with Peter.
“A frost giant in 110 plus degree heat? Really? You should have told us, Loki!” He roared and Loki stilled as his blood ran as cold as his species name. “You should have told us the second you started working here. Let me be clear. I don’t give a shit what the hell you are. You can be an ice giant, a fae princess or a goddamn opossum–you don’t keep that from us!” He raked his hair frustratedly, trying to swallow the rest of his yelling and barely succeeding. “I would have given you a different beat on mission. I would have given you both a different beat.” Loki opened his mouth to protest, but was promptly cut off. “Do you think I don’t know you went on that mission because of Becks? What kind of a moron do you take me for?”
“Not a damn word, Loki,” Becca warned, smirking. “This is not the moment to be clever.” Loki pressed his mouth to a thin line, glaring shortly at the woman for denying him his only defense mechanism at present.
Tony rolled right through the joke, too keyed up to be amused. “You are grounded, do you hear me? Grounded! No more missions until I decide that you’ve learned your damn lesson. No more leaving the compound for pizza in the city. No special passes to Asgard. Completely grounded. Am I understood?”
Loki surprised himself by nodding effusively to the demands, back pressed against the headboard as though he intended to meld into the wall behind him. Tony stomped back out, muttering out loud about idiots who were going to give him a heart attack. Loki glanced back at Becca, who was sitting crisscross, book abandoned on the portion of her thighs left bare by her shorts. In the scratchy paper gown Loki felt entirely out-of-place in her presence. Still, he couldn’t find it in himself to want to leave.
Despite her neutral expression, he could see something akin to hurt lurking behind her eyes. “I didn’t tell–”
“It’s fine,” Becca cut in, waving him off. “It was none of my business. I get it.” She sniffed delicately, her eyes dropping to the checkered floor of the hospital as if it help some great secret.
“Rebecca…”
She glanced up and unwound her legs, reaching forward to ruffle his hair. “I’m glad you’re OK.”
When she made to leave, Loki wrapped his fingers around her wrist and held her still. “It wasn’t because of you or because I didn’t trust you.”
The woman looked like she debated not arguing but thought better of it at the last moment, letting the frustration pour out of her every pore. “That doesn’t change the fact that I was the one who watched you almost die without knowing the reason.”
“I didn’t want it to change how you saw me,” he explained for reasons he could not comprehend.
Becca scoffed, leaning down to get eye level with him. He could feel her breath on his face and at any other point in time, he would have celebrated being in this position. Something in the back of his head told him he shouldn’t cheer this time around. “Literally no one gave a shit what you looked like as we dragged your giant-ass, blue body onto the jet. We only prayed you wouldn’t die before we hit ally airspace, you fucking moron,” she explained slowly, voice trembling and eyes watering. “We work with a bioengineered, sentient gem–you’re not that fucking special.”
Loki swallowed thickly, suddenly terrified of the burning rage reflected in her warm eyes. It was bright, beaming, smoldering fear that fueled it. Fear that she would lose him before they managed to land somewhere that might have been safe to intervene on him. Fear that she would lose a colleague, a friend. Fear that she would never make him pay for keeping her in the dark for so long. Loki felt every last bit of that fear, magnified tenfold to become his own.
He leaned his forehead onto her clasped hand. “I didn’t want you to know who I really was and chance scaring you off.”
“Are you dumb or what?” She snapped, gritting her teeth in an effort to contain her tears. “Why would I judge you over something you have no control over? After all we’ve done? All we’ve lived? I thought I showed you who I was a little better than that.”
“It wasn’t about you–”
“Evidently it was or you wouldn’t care if I saw!” She snapped before sighing, brushing his tangled hair back with her free hand. “You worried me a hell of a lot.” There was so much held back in her voice, he could tell, but he was not about to try his luck and pressure her into revealing her secrets.
“I’m sorry, Rebecca.” Loki had never apologized for a damn thing in his life, but he couldn’t help but let the words slip now, as she watched him with worry in her eyes and hurt in her soul.
“Scoot over, Evil Smurf,” she teased softly, and the words landed as painfully as if she had called him my love. He wanted this. He wanted this playful pain, but he couldn’t reason to himself why.
Swallowing a groan, he shifted over in the hospital cot. Becca clambered in easily and draped her arm around his shoulders, feeling him tense momentarily. After a second, the warmth of her digits seeped into his skin, and he melted into her side. When he let out a small sad whine, she pressed a kiss to his temple and allowed him to hide his face into the crook of her neck. Whether their silent agreement to shelve their discussion was due to shock of their mutual vulnerability or pure exhaustion, it was unsure. They merely accepted the conditions and sat tangled up, with only the sound of their breathing.
That’s how Bruce found them, asleep, an hour later when he went in to change Loki’s IV bag.
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TITLE: Let’s Talk About Love
SUMMARY: Ji and Kane answer questions about idols dating life on their podcast “Vice After Dark”. They almost let some information slip about one of the members having a relationship with their photographer...
GENRE: comedy(?), friendship.
PAIRING: Platonic! Kane + Ji
WORD COUNT: 1.7k
WARNINGS: none
FEBRUARY, 2014
"Honey, I’m home!” Ji cheered into the air, reclining his chair back so his body angled towards the ceiling. He snapped himself forward, adjusting his headphones. “It’s been too long since our last Vice After Dark episode.”
“I’ve missed our Virtues and listeners. I felt so disconnected from them during After Dark’s hiatus.” Kane added, adjusting his microphone stand.
“But we’ve been connecting with them a lot lately, huh?” Ji grinned. “Because of our promotions, we see Virtues nearly everyday. When do you think they’ll get sick of us?”
Kane pretended to think the question over. “Hm... I give it two more days. Once they’ve seen Minho’s abs once, they’ve seen them a thousand times.”
“Yeah... I feel that...” Ji sighed, looking down at his less-chiseled abdomen. Kane laughed, clapping his hands together.
“Anyways, I’m Ji,” Ji introduced himself to the camera.
“And I’m Kane.” Kane waved.
“And this is episode 31 of Vice After Dark!” Ji cheered, pressing a firecracker sound affect on his soundboard, following by clapping, a car revving, and a clip of Minho yelling ‘booyah’.
“I forgot you had that soundboard.” Kane frowned, shaking his head slightly in disapproval.
“Oh you did? Does this setting jog your memory?” Ji smirked before pressing a button, prompting a clip of Kane saying “oh my god” with a major voice crack at the word “god”.
Kane shook his head with a small smile on his face all while, giving Ji an seething look.
“No? Let me try again.” Ji pressed the button one more time. Then he pressed it again. And again. And again until Kane finally kicked his group mate under the table.
“Ouch!” Ji scooted his chair back. While Ji was distracted, Kane took over the direction of the episode.
“Anyways, Virtues better want to hang out for a little more, because tonight's topics are...” Kane inhaled through his teeth. “Well they’re pretty saucy.”
“Oooh, tell ‘em how saucy, Kangdae.” Ji played along.
“Let’s just say... We are very lucky that this is a night-time airing, otherwise this whole episode would be censored.” Kane grinned mischievously.
“Woah, woah,” Ji put his hands up as he laughed. “It’s not that vulgar, don’t be a tease.”
“Alright, alright, it’s not that saucy, but maybe one day, who knows.” Kane shrugged. Ji shook his head and rolled his eyes.
“The day we have a saucy podcast episode, you’re getting replaced with Geonwu.” Ji said. Kane’s jaw dropped in offense.
“What? Why?” The younger demanded.
“Because what stories are you gonna tell? You’re gonna tell the audience about all the times you’ve made accidental eye contact with people at the airport?” Ji taunted.
Kane glanced at the clock. “We’ve been recording for ten minutes and you already are causing problems...”
Ji laughed, amused at how annoyed Kane looked.
“You know, I could say some really exposing things about you and your personal life.” Kane threatened, pointing a finger at Ji accusingly. “I have seen some things, Joongji.”
“Nah, man, save those stories for another time. I’m not ready to be kicked out of Vice just yet.” Ji shook his head. Kane’s smile widened as he shook his head, returning to his notes.
“Anyways, I have done some research and I managed to find a collection of questions that fans have about idols dating. I thought it would be interesting if the two of us answered them. At least, to the best of our abilities.” Kane suggested.
“In other words, I’ll be the one answering the questions and you’ll pretend like you have experiences to reflect on.” Ji said.
Kane pushed back his seat and stood up quickly, pretending like he was going to attack Ji. Unfortunately, Kane’s headphones were still plugged in, and his cord yanked him back towards the microphone, causing Kane’s whole set up to skew. Ji started laughing hysterically as Kane struggled to adjust his equipment. When the idol was finally settled, he sighed heavily into the microphone.
“Let’s just start the segment already.”
“Question 1: Is it hard to plan dates when you’re an idol?” Kane posed.
“Yes and no.” Ji answered. Kane nodded in agreement.
“Like... If the two of us want to go out to eat somewhere, you have to be really careful. I’ve actually heard of some idols like... Renting out a part of the restaurant so they could have some privacy.”
“By ‘some idols’, do you mean yourself?” Kane teased.
Ji chuckled. “Nah, I’d never dropped that much money on a date unless if she was like... my wife or something.”
“’Your wife or something’. Lovely wording.” Kane teased. “Who knew you were such a romantic?”
“Shut up, you know what I meant. Like a long-term girlfriend. Someone special.” Ji defended himself.
“Can I ask how much you have spent on a date?” Kane asked.
“Uh...” Ji pivoted his chair back and forth, thinking deeply. “Probably almost 900,000 won?”
“Jesus.” Kane blinked in shock. “I think I’ve spent probably like... almost 300,000 won on a date.”
“Wasn’t that what our bill came out to for dinner the other night?” Ji teased. Kane threw his head back and chuckled.
“How many times do I have to tell you, Kangdae? Taking the group out for a meal doesn’t count as a date!” Ji slammed his fist onto the table, followed by him pressing a button that signaled a sound affect of someone yelling “Loser!”, which sent Kane into a fit of laughter.
“We didn’t even fully answer the question,” Kane reeled the conversation back in.
“My answer is it’s only hard if you want to go somewhere popular.” Ji finalized. “You have to do a little extra planning if you go that route. Otherwise, at-home dates or dates to unpopular places are pretty easy and can be really fun.”
“I think going to places like the beach or hiking is really simple and easy to plan.” Kane offered.
“Ooh, how sentimental.” Ji said in a high-pitched, teasing voice.
“Question 2: Do idols actually use Inkigayo sandwiches to flirt?” Ji read the question.
“Yes.” Kane nodded. “They do.”
“Gotten any sandwiches this promotional period, Kangdae?” Ji teased. Kane shook his head.
“Unfortunately not.” Kane sighed in disappointment.
“There’s always next comeback. You know,” Ji smirked. “When your trims not so clapped.”
“I hate you.” Kane laughed, smoothing down his bangs. “I really do.”
“Maybe you should be the sandwich giver.” Ji suggested. “You can be like-” He pressed a button and the sound board, which played a slow, sensual instrumental track.
“Hey girl...” Ji dropped his voice into a greasy drawl, getting close to the microphone. Kane pressed a hand over his eyes in embarrassment, letting out a whiny laugh.
“It’s me...” Ji continued. “Bowlcut Boy. Just give me a chance girl, I know level 1 English, and you are, how you say.. Beautiful.”
“Okay, enough, enough! We’re moving on!” Kane said, miming closing a directors slate.
“Question 3: Have you ever made a move on an idol that you’ve labeled as your ideal type?” Kane read.
“See,” Ji shifted in his seat. “Idols have celebrity crushes in the way that everyone else has celebrity crushes. I think Tiffany Young is beautiful and talented, but I probably would never ask her out.”
“You’d be lucky if Tiffany even looked at you, let alone talk to you.” Kane teased, looking satisfied that he was able to drag his friend after all the heat he’s endured this episode.
Ji’s tongue poked his cheek as he nodded and leaned back from the microphone, feigning offense.
“But, no, I think it’s important to highlight to fans that when an idol has an ‘ideal type’, it doesn’t mean that the person or the attributes that they list aren’t like... The be-all-end-all.” Kane stated seriously. Ji nodded in agreement, dropping his act.
“Right. Ideal types are garbage and don’t mean jack-” Ji used a censor sound effect to punctuate his statement, looking quite pleased with himself.
“Yes, thank you for that, Joongji.” Kane shook his head, reaching for another question.
“Question 4: How hard is it to meet people as an idol?” Kane asked.
Ji shrugged. “I mean like... Idols meet people everywhere. ISAC is usually the time people start exchanging contact information. Or at like music shows and award ceremonies. Anywhere. Even in our own company. Like makeup artists, stylists, stage crew...” Ji gave Kane a quick, knowing glance. “Photographers-”
“Oop.” Kane’s eyes went wide.
The two of them stared at each other, their lips pressed together in thin lines to prevent themselves from laughing out loud.
“Uh, anyway...” Ji tried to carry on, but Kane was laughing too hard. Across from him, the maknae removed his headphones and turned down his microphone volume so he could laugh without ruining the audio.
When Kane came back, he immediately started doing some damage control.
“Sorry, sorry, it’s an inside joke. We’re not attracted to any of our staff members,”
Now it was Ji’s turn to laugh loudly. He started flailing his feet at the huge hint that Kane just gave, knowing damn well that it would soar over their listeners heads. Woodam was going to kill the both of them if he ever played this episode back.
“Not that we don’t think our staff members aren’t desirable!” Kane joked. “HBH has the best looking staff ever.”
“Alright, this is just getting weird.” Ji shook his hand under his chin, indicating that it was time to wrap things up. “I say we sign off for now.”
“Vice After Dark will go back to normal airing schedule this week, so be sure to tune in next week when we invite our friend Sunmi on to talk about her upcoming album.” Kane said the usual outro, smiling at the camera.
“Until next week,” Ji raised his hand in farewell. “I’m Ji,”
“And I’m Kane,”
“And this has been another episode of Vice After Dark.” Ji concluded the episode. Ji pressed play on his soundboard and their title track played through the speakers as the episode closed out.
Once they finished recording, Kane gave Ji an anxious look.
“Do you think I should tell Woodam that I almost exposed his relationship or...?” Kane asked.
Ji shook his head. “Nah dude. We covered ourselves up decently. No one’s gonna suspect a thing.”
#kumokocnet#peachykocnet#aeskocnet#kocsociety#kpop oc#kpop addition#oc addition#oc group#oc kpop group#fictional idol#fictional kpop#fake kpop group#fake kpop idol#fake kpop#kpop scenario#kpop scenarios#kpop reactions#kpop imagines#kpop fanfic#oc kpop#oc idol#oc kpop idol#kane.dev#ji.dev
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Hey boo! Here's a bunch of numbers for that music meme: 1, 5, 6, 15, 20, 26, 28, 35, 38, and 50 🥳❤️ Looking forward to your answers, I love your music taste!
OOOoh this is so exciting!!! @kenzthepea...I adore you and I haven’t told you that enough lately. ❤❤❤
OK..Here goes:
1. Current Favorite Song: This is hard...Because I love so many songs. But the one I kept repeating today was Cardigan by Taylor Swift. I like the melody, and the lyrics that are so intricate. I especially love the bridge and I think my brain is formulating a fic with this song...but I have to wait and see what percolates. But it feels like that’s about to happen.
5. A Song That Reminds You Of Another Time In Your Life: I’m going to with It’s Been Awhile by Staind. I don’t know why...but every time I hear this song I think back to the first guy I fell in love with. It literally never played while we were together, or featured in our relationship at all, and has nothing to do with either of us...but it makes me think of him because I feel him in it. I think it’s maybe that during the time I met him, and fell in love with him and was held by him...I was dealing with some serious things in my home life. My mother was abusive, and I felt worthless and like a complete fuck up...but all of that didn’t matter when he hugged me. None of it mattered when we were talking. It makes me feel the way he made me feel and I love that. Because I still love him. Just differently, though 15 year old me is still deeply in love with him...But I am happily married to a man who adores me, who listens to me, and who makes me feel seen...which is exactly what Daniel did for me all those years ago. We’re still very good friends and we sing karaoke together (not currently obviously) and he still gives the best hugs and he’s still as sweet and dreamy and magnetic as he was the day I met him. And I feel grateful, so damn grateful that the first man I ever loved, taught me that I was worthy of that love, so that I could recognize when my husband felt the same way. That was long...but worth it. And you knew I’d be wordy. 🤣
6. A Song That Reminds You of A Place You’ve Been: I cannot hear the Hawaiian version of I’m Yours by Jason Mraz without instantly being transported to the beach house my husband and I were married out of a little over 11 years ago. That song was played multiple times during our stay, and the Hawaiian version is so much more lovely than the radio version. It wasn’t our wedding song...but it is our unofficial wedding song. So much so that it’s the song my husband set as my ring tone when I call him. 🥰🥰🥰 I can’t seem to find the Hawaiian version but the version I linked is very damn close.
15. A Song That Makes You Want To Fall In Love: This one was really hard...Because I’m already very much in love with my husband...But I’m going to give you two...by the same artist, on the same album, because both give off some serious sex appeal to me and both would make me ache to have someone to feel that way about if I didn’t already have my Husband-Man. Wolf Like Me by Lera Lynn ft. Shovels and Rope, and Lose Myself by Lera Lynn, ft. John Paul White (you knew he had to be in here somewhere). Both are on her Plays Well With Others album, which was co-produced by John Paul and Ben Tanner (of the Alabama Shakes) at their Sun Drop Sound recording studio in Florence, Alabama and is on their label Single Lock Records (I’m a huge fan of pretty much every artist on Single Lock’s label) and these two songs are just straight up magic. Wolf Like Me is like...a werewolf love song. It’s literally her begging someone to be a wolf like her, and understand her, and I believe its a cover...but I choose to ignore that because I don’t ever want to hear anyone but Lera and S&R singing it. It’s haunting and sexy and just...ooof. So good. Lose Myself is sexy AF as well because it’s a duet with John and they’re basically singing about being in love with someone who they know is bad for them...and it’s just so painfully sexily delicious. I dare you to listen to their voices melding and not melt into a puddle. It’s almost impossible.
(This damn post is going to be really long...I hope you don’t mind. 🤣)
20. A Song You’ve Listened To On Repeat Recently: Rattle by Penny and Sparrow (I think you already know this one) has been on repeat for me lately. This song has been many things to me...But It’s become my worship song. When I REALLY need to talk to God (I’m spiritual...I hope this isn’t something that bothers you. Apologies if it is...I won’t preach...I promise) I turn this song on and I always feel closer to Him. When I first heard it I heard it as a romantic song. But the more I listened to it, the more I felt Him in it and the lyrics really called to me. “Because I’m not proud, I’m not proud, I’m not proud of me...so how could you, how could you ever be?” really nails me on the head. I feel like I fall down on being a light for God quite a bit. I try, always, to be a beacon of love and acceptance and grace to everyone. I want to understand my fellow humans...and love them despite their flaws and foibles...but it’s hard. And so this song reminds me that I’m not alone, and that I’m not the only one who occasionally feels that I’m not making Him proud...but the last lines, “I'm gonna work on waiting, If it's true you wanna say you love me every day. And I'm sorry (that it took me so long to realize) you've always felt that way”, are a beautiful reminder that God’s love for me is something he wants to give me everyday, no matter how much I’ve failed at being His beacon on Earth. So it’s my worship song, because I don’t go to church, but hearing this song is feeling a wash of his love over me and that helps me on really hard days. (I hope that wasn’t too preachy)
26. A Song That Reminds You Of Your Favorite Fictional Character: GOD SO MANY!!! Like...everyone I’ve ever written a fic about...and there are MANY. I guess the best way to find this one is to go to my AO3 series The Music Made Me Do It
28. A Song That Represents Your “Aesthetic”: I don’t really know what my “Aesthetic” is...maybe uptight, bohemian, plant loving, boy and dog mom, who over thinks everything constantly? Is that an aesthetic? LOL. So i’m not sure how to answer this one. But if “aesthetic” means what I would have playing in the house all the time, no matter what, no matter who comes over...It would be THIS entire playlist. It’s called Relaxed Jams (which is the EPITOME of an original title...I’m not good with titles...leave me alone 😂) and it’s pretty much playing nonstop in my house and car...Unless I’m listening to Hamilton...which is also constantly playing. So...there you go...My “Aesthetic”...Hope that works for you. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
35. A Song That Sends Chills Down Your Spine: In the fall of 2018 I was dealing with the knowledge that my oldest son was planning to move to Florida. And I was NOT handling it well. To be honest...I still am not handling it well. I don’t like my baby being so far away and I miss seeing his face, hearing his voice, yelling at him to clean up after himself...I just miss him like I’d miss a limb. We’ve been together since I was 18 and he’s going to be 20 in a few weeks and so, I’m sure you can imagine, over half of my life has been spent loving him. My two boys are the air in my lungs and the blood in my veins. They are EVERYTHING to me and that’s not hyperbole. It’s FACT. So, the idea of him moving away from me made me feel like I’d done something wrong, something to chase him away. And I was listening to a random Jason Mraz playlist on Spotify when I heard a song of his that I’d never heard before (which, in itself was a fucking miracle). That song is God Rests In Reason (yes...another God song...sorry) and it’s lyrics were so utterly perfect for the way I was feeling that I had to literally pull over on the side of the road because I couldn’t see where I was going for the tears in my eyes. Those lyrics were:
“Well your children will not be your children
They are the daughters and the sons a beginning
They'll come through your womb but not be coming from you
They will be with you, but they do not belong to you
You can give them your love but not your thoughts
'Cause they'll arrive with their own hearts
They're the coming of angels this blessed season
Undone they’ll sing, Oh how God rests in reason
God rests in reason
Isn’t reason enough to prove how God moves through you
God rests in reason
And thank God you can direct the course of love itself of love itself
Directs the course of life
Believe not God is your heart child
But rather you’re in the Heart of God”
And it just SPOKE to everything I felt. I’d been asking myself why my child, who I love beyond everything else, who I’d lay down and die for if he asked me to, would want to leave me. Why would he want to go so far away...and God answered with this song. Because Michael has his own heart...and his heart is pulling him to Florida. And in those moments I started to feel a measure of peace. And I started to cope a little better. I stopped crying and feeling like he was telling me I’d done something wrong, and I started being proud that I’d raised my son to feel strongly enough about his own intuition to follow his dreams and reach for the things he wanted in life. I still miss him. I still hate that he’s gone. But it’s eased. And when it threatens to suffocate me, I go to this song. I realize it isn’t spine tingling in the manner that this question probably meant...but it tingled my spine that a song I’d never heard, by an artist I adore and thought I’d heard everything from, shuffled through my phone at a time that I really needed the message in it. I hope that makes sense...and fills the request.
38. A Song That You Think Is Underrated: I really think pretty much everything Penny & Sparrow has done is horribly underrated. These two men deserve at least the same amount of accolades that Hozier has. And I’m sure Hozier would agree with me if he’d listened to their catalog. I’m never NOT going to promote these guys and I know y’all are tired of it but they mean a literal shit ton to me and I NEED everyone to know their music and recognize their brilliance. They’re better than Ryan Adams, and all the other sad bastards of folk...and they’re complete and total sweethearts who really give a damn about their fans. I will not rest until I’ve told the entire world about Andy Baxter and Kyle Jahnke and that’s that about that. You can find a playlist of their entire catalog of music songs here. I listed them in order of release...and I recommend listening to them that way. At least for the first listen. But be prepared to be hooked because they’re addictive.
50. Free Slot! Any Song You Want To Share: I feel like you just had me create a playlist for you...And I’m totally OK with it. But I can tell you that...the song Green Eyes by Joseph will be featured in a forthcoming work of mine...The chapter has already been written...I just need time to finish the chapters before it. I guess this is a spoiler for the fic...but it isn’t really because if you know anything about my #1 ship...you know where I want it to go...and this song, is perfect for it.
Goodness Kenz...I hope this was what you were expecting because I feel like I wrote you a book.
Thanks for asking me for all of these songs...You know I love talking about my favorite musics. And I hope there are some songs that you just fall in love with here. I’d love to hear about it if you do. Hope you’re well.
Love you!
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Album Analysis: Best of Crush 40
Halfway through the 90s, everything changed. The PlayStation came out in 94, allowing games with 3D graphics and high-fidelity (for the time, that is) audio. Big Red came hopping onto the scene with Super Mario 64 in 96, and Sonic Adventure came onto the scene at the very end of 98. As a latecomer to the 3D party, arriving over 2 years after Mario had such a successful romp, they needed something special. They needed…
Children’s media! I’m of the opinion that there are two main categories that children’s media can fall into: there’s media that is specifically made for children, like Blue’s Clues or Peppa Pig or those licensed Sesame Street games. Then there’s kid-friendly media that, while made for and marketed towards children, can still appeal to adults. This would be most Pixar movies, shows like Phineas and Ferb, and the object of today’s article, the Sonic franchise.
While there’s some pretty huge differences between children’s media and kid-friendly media, one thing they both have in common is the goal of teaching children a moral lesson. With varying degrees of success. This can be something simple like “stealing is bad”, but oftentimes there’s some greater nuance, like how the protagonist of Inside Out learns to value sadness and other “negative” emotions. But when working with hardware that has some intense limitations, like the NES or Sega Genesis, telling a complex story isn’t easy, which is why Save the Princess plots (Super Mario Bros., The Legend of Zelda, the opening to Final Fantasy) were so common: it allowed for a moral hero without requiring any deeper discussion. Sonic the Hedgehog went with a bit more of an environmentalist message- saving animals from an evil scientist- which was easy enough to portray in only 16 bits.
Halfway through the 90s, everything changed. The PlayStation came out in 94, allowing games with 3D graphics and high-fidelity (for the time, that is) audio. Big Red came hopping onto the scene with Super Mario 64 in 96, and Sonic Adventure came onto the scene at the very end of 98. As a latecomer to the 3D party, arriving over 2 years after Mario had such a successful romp, they needed something special. They needed…
youtube
I’m going to review this album out of order. This is a “Best of” album, so rather than being a picture of the band’s musical vision at any given time, it contains some of their best work from over a decade-long span. What I’m especially interested in is how the music interacts with its respective game and how it evolves with the franchise, so let’s take a look at song #15 first.
Open Your Heart kicks off Sonic Adventure with a bang. It’s the first thing you hear when you boot the game up and it accompanies the final battle. Well, most of it, anyway- part 1 of the battle gets Open Your Heart and part 2 gets generic “tense orchestral music”, which is a flat-out awful decision, but I digress. Tonally, it’s perfect- it starts out tense, preparing you for the fight ahead, and then the guitars kick in to pull you forward. But more importantly… this is why I brought up the moral conflict earlier. The story is simple, so the game leans on the song to deliver its message.
Much of the lyrics are as relevant today as they probably were for most of human history: the quieter intro bit describes various catastrophes, and describes the fear and confusion that follows (much like the one we’ve been living in for the past few months). The song’s chorus is built around a dialectic: Can’t hold on much longer/but I will never let go, but then ends with Open your heart, it’s gonna be alright. Together, these components combine the fear of catastrophe with the innate desire to make things better. It instills the idea that it’s okay to have conflicting feelings about a course of action, then promises that your heart will make the right choice.
Live and Learn is the main theme of the direct sequel, Sonic Adventure 2, and fills the same roles as Open Your Heart. The opening riff plays when the game is launched, the full song plays over the final battle, and it delivers the moral lesson of the game. If Open Your Heart introduces a lesson about conflict, then Live and Learn teaches you what to do when you’ve made the wrong choice. What happens if you trust the wrong people, stay when you should’ve run or run when you should’ve stayed, let something important fall into the wrong hands?
The very title of the song hints at its message- you learn from your mistakes and do better- but to me the line that really hits comes in the second verse. But you can’t save your sorrows/you’ve paid in trade. It recontextualizes all the regret someone feels from a mistake as a sort of currency: it’s not to be saved, kept in your mind and dwelled on- you’ve exchanged it, traded it for valuable life experience. If you focus on the mistake instead of the lesson, you’ll never grow, and it’ll all have been a waste. Not only is it a natural progression from the last song, it’s an absolute banger of a track.
Next up is Sonic Heroes, the intro track to… Sonic Heroes. That won’t be confusing. I don’t have a whole lot to say about this one, it’s not the big moral apex of the game and it’s much more of a title theme than the song the game wants you to walk away from. It’s goofy as hell to listen to, but it always puts a smile on my face.
What I’m Made of is the final battle theme to Sonic Heroes and is, in my opinion, the finale of the Open Your Heart trilogy. Looking at the three songs is a sort of rudimentary 3-act structure: you have the introduction and first conflict, the dark part at the end of act 2, and the triumphant closer. The protagonist takes the lesson they learned through the story and uses it to defeat their opponent. What I have in my two hands is enough to set me free. Use the lessons you’ve learned through hardship to better yourself. The songs form a very nice trilogy when viewed like this that parallels the games quite nicely, and I’m confused as to why they’re all out of order on the album.
That finishes off the Adventure and Heroes saga, and now onto… Shadow the Hedgehog… god. I Am… All of Me is the opening track to the game and also the first song on the album, and it’s so goofy. It tries to be all dark and intimidating because Shadow is the dark and edgy character, who has guns and says “damn” because he has a tragic backstory, and the character isn’t edgy because he’s a cartoon hedgehog and and the song isn’t edgy because it’s a song about a cartoon hedgehog.
That doesn’t mean it’s bad, mind you. I enjoy it, and in a way it’s a perfect fit for the game. It’s like a kid wearing a vampire costume on halloween: they can try to scare you all they want, but the worst they can do is make you smile.
All Hail Shadow is the next Shadow the Hedgehog piece. This one was originally by a group called Magna-Fi, and was covered by Crush 40 for use in later games when the band broke up. Shadow the Hedgehog features multiple paths and multiple endings, and this is the “true hero” ending when the player makes all the heroic choices. This song does a good job painting Shadow as Sonic’s foil: both of them are heroes from this point forward, but while Sonic is more of a classical hero, Shadow is an anti-hero. Somewhere in chaos we all find ourselves/this destruction is the only tale we tell. The game features Shadow trying to recover his memories and find his true self, figure out who he really is, and this is the song that has him rediscover himself as a hero.
Finally, Never Turn Back is the true ending theme for the game, and the last Shadow the Hedgehog song in the album. This is the “moral lesson” song I’ve been on about so much, and it’s a damn good one. It starts with a slow cover that samples I am… All of Me, then it gets a powerful kick that rings in the rest of the song. The message in the song is similar to Live and Learn about not repeating mistakes, but Never Turn Back gives a sense of a much more arduous period in one’s life. If Live and Learn is about recovering from a mistake, Never Turn Back is about recovering from a long series of them. It’s been a long rough road but I’m finally here/Move an inch forward, feels like a year. It’s very much about cutting yourself free of a bad period in your life and how difficult it can be to even stay put, but the positive vibe of the song reminds us to celebrate the small victories. It’s a bit more mature of a message for a game that… at least tried to be more mature.
I haven’t talked a whole lot about how the music interacts with the events of the game partially because this is a music review, but partially because it’s gone perfectly hand and hand with the music so far. There hasn’t been much dissonance between “rock music that gives life advice” and “young-ish hedgehog learning how to live life”. That’s about to change, though, because it’s time for Sonic 06. At the end of Sonic Adventure 2, Sonic declared that he was no one special, “just a guy who loves adventure”. This is when that ceased to be true.
The first three songs we discussed weren’t about Sonic. The singer was a nameless narrator occasionally fighting a nameless opponent. They were relevant to the series, but they could be about anyone. That’s what made them so versatile. His World is the main theme of Sonic 06, and where the other 2 versions of the song existed more to hype up Sonic as a character, the Crush 40 cover was more about the events of the game. As a song, it’s pretty good: it’s a more intense version of the original song, and it’s got a slower but steadier pace to it. But here’s what sets it apart from the other main themes: it’s about Sonic. It’s not a lesson about facing conflict and overcoming adversity wrapped up in an upbeat rock song, it’s about the events of the game and how awesome Sonic is. He isn’t the everyman anymore, he’s an important figure, a chosen one to save the world from this point forward. The music reflects that.
To really drive home this new direction they were going, Sega released two games for the Wii called “Sonic Storybook” games, where Sonic would become the main character of two classic stories: Arabian Nights and the legend of King Arthur. They’re both terrible in… just about every aspect, but the first entry Sonic and the Secret Rings is godawful. The main theme Seven Rings in Hand wasn’t written or originally performed by Crush 40, but for some reason they decided to cover it for their album, so I have to talk about it: it’s trash. It’s a bunch of empty lyrics about nothing with some pretty subpar mixing.
While Sonic and the Black Knight isn’t much better, it at least has a killer main theme. Knight of the Wind as a song is pretty badass, but it suffers the same issues as His World. There’s no more important meaning, it’s just about Sonic being a knight and saving people. It has a few familiar “never give up” themes, but it doesn’t do anything as well as Open Your Heart or Live and Learn. It falls into the Sonic Heroes mold where it’s fun to listen to and less fun to really take apart and analyze. The ending theme (which strangely precedes Knight of the Wind) Live Life samples Knight of the Wind, but that’s pretty much the coolest thing it does. It’s slow and pensive, making a sense of faux-thoughtfulness to cover mostly shallow lyrics.
With Me (Massive Power Mix) is the last Sonic and the Black Knight theme here, and was originally written by Crush 40 and performed by singers from the band “All Ends”. The album features a version performed by the band itself, and the song is unique in that it’s sung from the POV of the game’s villain. As a result, it features a look into a character who walked a “dark path”, weighed down by the mistakes they made. Don’t blame [me] for what I have become. It’s an ideological clash against the values in the other songs, arguing that anyone can be tempted to become evil. It’s deeper than anything in the game, but it’s shockingly good considering its source material.
That does it for the main series themes, but there’s a few others on here- a couple tracks for the racing games, an oddly placed cover of Fire Woman, and a too-slow ballad-sounding original song called Is It You. However, I think I’ve gone on long enough, and I’ve discussed everything I wanted to: how the songs showcased on this album elevate the messages given in the games.
Ultimately, all these songs are mirrors of the game they’re in, for better or worse. For that, I have to applaud the band’s versatility- even if most of the songs are the same genre, they cover a wide range of moods and messages depending on what the game demands. They can write a kick-ass guide to getting over failure or a fun little romp to introduce a game. Even divorced from their source material, many of the songs stand well on their own, and there’s a very good reason why fans of the franchise want Crush 40 to return for future installments.
Videos cited:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJYxYzxFyZw Peppa Pig - Caddicarus (warning: weird shit)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4JWYDUYqhlc&list=PL5F29F0909BF08B56&index=15 - Best of Crush 40 Playlist
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=voI-9TdS0Jw - Seven Rings in Hand (Crush 40 Ver)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-HrOjyltyEM - With Me (Massive Power Mix)
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cape god - allie x
album review
being young has its ups and downs. on one hand, the real pressures of life have not presented themselves quite yet. you are expected to be simply enjoy living and being a kid before true the hardship (ironically put considering the subject matter of this album) and horrors of being a human step into the light, as they inevitably do. On the other, they are the most confusing years we navigate. Identity, emotions, puberty, what it takes to find and hold onto one’s own sense of self. This often easier said than done. We experiment, sex, drugs, rock and roll (fuck yea) and do what it takes for not only others to like who we present ourselves to be, but for us to like ourselves as well. speaking from experience, as well as the shared experiences of many, the ages of 16-25 are an entirely much too confusing whirl. the soul searching cuts deep, whether we are aware of it or not, for better or for worse. this is incredibly evident in the mystery-shrouded land of cape god.
the second, full length studio album, cape god, from canadian songstress allie x (alexandra hughes) is a wildly original and both beautiful and terrifyingly all too real account of a mix of self-preservation AND self-exploration, that takes place within liminal space (named by allie as cape god). Released under twin music, hughes’ label that she holds most of her career under, this record is a 12 track account of the young human and fairly self-reflective experience(s). according to allie x, this is her most personal and proud body of work yet, and boy does it show. NOT to say this record is superior to her other releases (her debut ep collxtion I from 2015 is a pop masterpiece, sorry i am letting my stan show), but this is a standout work among hughes’ discography not only in the sense that she embraces a slightly new (for her, which is still debatable) and highly conceptualized sound of alternative dark-pop, but her ability to tell a story that doesn’t feel superficial or simply trying to appease the commercial world of top 40 radio, cookie cutter pop. it shows now her ability to come and go from cape god as necessary, being more comfortable with who she ism enough to release an entire work based on this confusing time-chunk in her life.
i’ve got to say, one of my favorite cuts from this record is the opening track, fresh laundry. produced by oscar görres and james ghaleb, allie sings of nostalgia and a sense of longing for a time that no longer exists via the scent of freshly cleaned laundry, over rhythmic and crow-calling synths. when this initially was released as the first promotional single for cape god, it took me a while to accept the sudden change in sound and aesthetic choice by allie towards a grungier and more alternative vision. but one day, it clicked. and i was hooked. it makes so much sense for her, looking back at her previous works, her post-ceding (not a word, now it is) ep titled super sunset is unrecognizable in a sense (still very good, check that one out too), and almost feels as though something was holding allie x back from who she wanted to be. and damn i am so happy shes finding her niche. some other great cuts from this record are the (probably pop-iest cut) sarah come home, love me wrong (queer kids unite), featuring my boy troye sivan, and the AMAZING susie save your love, featuring the very talented mitski. also super duper party people is a banger (that bass line are you kidding me??). the tail end of this record really flaunts the emotion of miss x, and she does not hold back, as is hard to do in cape god i could only imagine. In life of the party, almost as a compliment to super duper party people, allie recounts of using substances to be herself around people who unfortunately are not her real friends, and use and abuse the f out of her, but she cannot bring herself to mind, because this attention gives her a purpose and sense of life, regardless of whether she knows it is truly wrong to accept the way she is being treated. while this track isn’t my favorite sonically, it is important. the repetition of the chorus meant to burn into the listeners ear, emphasizing the important to allie of feeling accepted by these equally hurt people projecting their insecurities on this girl who is still finding herself. (allie, i hope you don’t vibe with those people anymore :/ ). In madame x, i am taking a shot in the dark when i say i ~believe~ it is about drugs, and the comfort they bring, NOT the madonna album of the same title (hehe, a gorgeous track nonetheless).
i think we all have our own cape god, somewhere in our brains, and this record is an interesting look into how one individual (miss allie x) is still dealing with and tweaking the psyche we control a meat suit with, in the dreamscape liminal world we all possess (at least, I know i do). This record is very smart. is it commercial? not in the slightest. but it is beautiful and raw and for me, does exactly what music is suppose to do, be that vessel. allie once said in a promotional video for this album that these this is the music she could never quite find the words for, AND IM SO HAPPY SHE DID. personal biases aside as an admitted allie x fan of a hot ass second, this is a crazy original work that scares, delights, and intrigues me. she also released some SICK visuals for this era, check it the fuck out, you will not be disappointed.
cape god - allie x 4/5 stars
-bormst
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Top 10 Personal Favorite Hit Songs from 2015
This is the last list that was kind of difficult to do and where some cuts had to be made. The next four ones weren’t very good years music-wise and generally speaking.
Also there’s something that embarrasses me even more than Blue (Eiffel 65) somewhere on this top ten. Oops.
Disclaimers:
Keep in mind I’m using both the year-end top 100 lists from the US and from France while making these top 10 things. There’s songs in English that charted in my country way higher than they did in their home countries, or even earlier or later, so that might get surprising at times.
Of course there will be stuff in French. We suck. I know. It’s my list. Deal with it.
My musical tastes have always been terrible and I’m not a critic, just a listener and an idiot.
I have sound to color synesthesia which justifies nothing but might explain why I have trouble describing some songs in other terms than visual ones.
2015 was a bit calmer, apart from the fact I moved out of the appartment and bought one instead of renting one. This is still where I’m living nowadays, it’s not big but having no landlord is a LOT less stressful even if it will take a long time to pay the loan (one time the lock broke and I couldn’t get out and the landlord refused to fix it OR pay for a new lock if I decided to call someone to fix it ; another time someone who had a spare key opened the door while I was wearing a bathrobe and was like “oh. You’re here” and I was like “...I mean..... yeah.... 'cause I live here”). I also made new friends online that year and felt less isolated.
Sidenote, my first “flat” mp3 player’s battery died today but after a quick emergency operation I was able to save the data on it. I used that mp3 player from roughly 2008 to 2013 so that’s a relief, it kinda has sentimental value and I was still using it to listen to DW audios nowadays from time to time.
As you can see in the first picture, my super old portable cd player, which still works fine, by the way, is judging this little amateur so hard right now.
So! This is the year Faithless dropped Faithless 2.0, 21 Pilots dropped Blurryface, Mylène Farmer dropped the surprisingly quite good (for this point in her career) Interstellaires, and Carly Rae Jepsen dropped E MO TION, which would have been my favorite album of the year... if Nightwish hadn’t made the absolutely jawdropping Endless Forms Most Beautiful. A symphonic metal concept album about Earth and evolution and the place of humanity in the universe?? Excuse me? Who’s read my christmas list? My favorite songs on it are Alpenglow, Shudder Before The Beautiful, the title track, Edema Ruh which has the best intro, and of course The Greatest Show On Earth, which is an incredibly ambitious, kinda bloated and quite pretentious (in a good way) song about the history of Earth, looking back from a future where mankind is extinct and concluding “we were here”, and holy shit I get emotional every time, and it’s 24 minutes long, and I still never get bored when I relisten to it. Just amazing.
As far as unelligible songs that piss me off go, it’s all Carly Rae Jepsen: I Really Like You, and especially Run Away With Me. If they had been elligible, that last one would be my #1, definitely.
Here’s some... uh, a lot of honorable mentions, actually.
Budapest (George Ezra) and Chandelier (Sia) - Still elligible, still not on the list.
Cheerleader (OMI) - I have no idea why people dislike this song.
Ex’s and Oh’s (Elle King) - This is one of these songs that would be higher on the list if I had better taste. I still like it a lot though.
FourFiveSeconds (Rihanna, Kanye West, Paul McCartney) - Ditto.
You Know You Like It (DJ Snake) - Great drop. The rest is meh.
Miracle (Julian Perretta) - The opposite of the previous one ; a fantastic song let down by its drop.
Uma Thurman (Fall Out Boy) - This song makes absolutely no sense but it’s a lot of fun nonetheless.
Lean On (Major Lazer) - Super overplayed but holy shit this is incredibly catchy. The bridge is especially great.
Want to want me (Jason Derulo) - If this guy had that kind of song in him why does he suck most of the time. What happened.
Hundred Miles (Yazz) - Nice earworm that never got annoying.
Are you with me (Lost frequencies) - Basically a less good version of Waves from the previous year. This is a compliment.
Ain’t Nobody (Felix Jaehn) - And this is the less good version of Rather Be from the previous year. This is also a compliment.
Laissez Passer (Maître Gims) - When I started to check French hit songs from years where I basically wasn’t listening to the general local radio anymore, some friends told me they were grabbing popcorn and waiting for me to start hating some specific acts. Maître Gims was one of them. To their disappointment, I love just about every non-love, non-breakup hit song he’s ever made. Oops.
Love Me Harder (Ariana Grande & The Weeknd) - It took me ages to like The Weeknd but this song helped a lot. This just sounds fantastic regardless of the content (just saying this because I have a tendency to dislike stuff like that). He isn’t even the best singer of the two on this track, wow.
Millionnaire (Soprano) - In a worse year, this would make the list without question. The lyrics aren’t that original but still very good (love the line “remplis-moi les poches d’espoir” (fill my pockets with hope)) and the melody is just beautiful.
On écrit sur les murs (Kids United) - If you recall I put the original version of this on my 1990 list because I liked the Kids United version a lot and also had nothing else to put at the 10th spot on the 1990 list. The fact that I don’t even have enough space for the better version on this list says a lot about how abysmal 1990 was, music-wise.
And now, the actual list!
10 - Centuries (Fall Out Boy)
US: #43 / FR: Not on the list
Why are these guys still on my lists.
No, seriously. Why. This is yet another song that would be better if it was faster. And the sample is badly used. So I have no idea why it works. One of these days I’ll have to reevaluate Fall Out Boy’s entire discography, take a good look at myself, and admit I possibly like this band and that I’ve been lying to myself for like 15 years... but today is not that day.
9 - Sapés Comme Jamais (Maître Gims)
US: Not on the list / FR: #10
Told you I liked Maître Gims!
Listen. It’s not my place to comment on the ethics of the whole La Sape movement (which can be summarised as “modern black dandies trying to get the most expensive & beautiful clothes possible”) but you have to admit it’s super cool to have a more energetic and fun version of Suit And Tie. God, that beat. And it’s a ton of fun to sing along with the chorus! And it’s such a convincing song when it’s combined with the music video, you kinda want to look as cool and confident as these guys.
Also quick shoutout to the Sapeuses. Absolute legends & queens, every last one of them.
8 - Style (Taylor Swift)
US: #29 / FR: Not on the list
That year my s.o went to a party I didn’t want to go to and came back home completely drunk & way too late, crashed on the couch and started to ramble about how “Style” by Taylor Swift had a better sound mixing than the entirety of Epica’s latest album at the time and how amazing it was. For like half an hour.
I completely agree, just to clarify.
7 - Cool For The Summer (Demi Lovato)
US: #53 / FR: Not on the list
In what is possibly the least controversial opinion on this entire list: I love Cool For The Summer, the melody is great, the lyrics are good, the singing is the best, and you all know that and you all love this song, so yeah. Moving on to-
Oh god here comes #6. Oh shit. Oh no.
Can’t we just skip it and pretend-
6 - Animals (Maroon 5)
US: #46 / FR: Not on the list
So. I.
Uuuuuuuuuuuuuh.
How can I justify this bullshit.
The truth is: I can’t. Not really. I’m not even entirely sure what happened here. I hate this band and have always hated them, from the start. The lyrics are painfully stupid. The singing is as atrocious as ever. The “AWOOOOO” bit on the bridge is absolutely ridiculous. None of Levine’s “oh look at me I’m so dangerous” act remotely works. There isn’t a single thing I find competent here apart from the melody. I mean it. I’m not saying any of this to look cool. If I wanted to look cool, this certainly wouldn’t be on the list.
But you know what, the sheer incompetence on display here may be exactly why I like it. If it was a credible serial killer song written like an upbeat pop song, it would be disturbing and unlistenable. But the way it’s made, it simply sounds stupid, so you keep imagining some sort of inoffensive nerd pretending he’s a horrible monster (and failing) whenever you hear it. And that, I think, is what pushes it squarely into the “so bad it’s f█cking fantastic” territory, where it joins Butterfly from my 2001 list.
That sounds about right.
5 - Adventure of a Lifetime (Coldplay)
US: Not on the list / FR: #29
I haven’t mentioned A Head Full of Dreams in that year’s albums, because it came out at the very end of 2015 so I mostly consider it to be a 2016 album. It’s not as good as Mylo Xyloto, and not as consistant as Ghost Stories, but it contains some real gems. Adventure of a Lifetime isn’t nearly my favorite song on it, and I still put it super high here. I love the lyrics in particular (”under this pressure, under this weight, we are diamonds taking shape” oh damn) but the song itself just makes you want to move. I literally can’t listen to it without at least moving my head in rhythm a little bit. It’s nearly as colorful as the album cover. And it’s a joy to sing along the “woooohooooo”s!
4 - Stolen Car (Mylène Farmer & Sting)
US: Not on the list / FR: #61
This is Stolen Car (Take Me Dancing), from Sting (2004), rewritten as a half English half French duet where it’s unclear if the female singer is the imaginary lover or the car in the story. You might want to re-read that sentence.
What did I say on a previous list? Ah yes, “I see a duet between two singers I like and I die instantly”. This is also the last time Mylène Farmer is going to appear on one of my lists. I could say “self care”, but I genuinely don’t like any of her more recent hits, at all. Whatever. She’s been on these lists since the very first one (1988) anyway.
It’s been a wild ride, to say the least.
3 - Shut Up And Dance (Walk the Moon)
US: #6 / FR: Not on the list
And for the second least controversial opinion on this list: despite the massive overplay, I never EVER got tired of this, it’s colorful, energetic, super fun, and it’s still on my mp3 player to this day. Just a fantastic song. And a great band! I wish One Foot had been elligible for a future list, it’s super good. Aw.
2 - Ego (Willy Williams)
US: Not on the list / FR: #69
This is a song about a guy who imagines himself as this super cool elegant dude, but when he looks at himself in the mirror he hates everything he’s seeing.
I know this isn’t supposed to be a song about gender dysphoria but my god is this shit relatable.
To make things even better, it’s served by creepy music box sounds ala The Birthday Massacre and by an untouchable, strange beat. It’s a dark, weird song, but it’s all kinds of wonderful and catchy as hell, and apparently I’m not the only one to think that considering the mindboggling number of views on the youtube music video. Watch it if you haven’t seen it, it’s hypnotic and makes the song even better.
I only discovered this song last year but I’ve listened to it so much since then I really debated if this should be at the #1 spot. It’s just... so horribly relatable.
But you know what’s even more relatable?
Being broke and sad and still trying to have the time of your life.
1 - Downtown (Macklemore & Ryan Lewis)
US: #84 / FR: Not on the list
Some people call this Thriftshop 2.0 but I think it’s even better than Thriftshop, which was, if you recall one of my previous lists, already pretty damn good in my opinion.
As you probably already know, it’s a song about a guy buying a moped and bragging about him and his friends, and their mopeds, and how cool they look when they ride downtown on their mopeds. I never owned a moped in my life. But I have a super small & shitty car which I love very much and so it’s very relatable. Also I’ve never written the word ‘moped’ so often in a single paragraph before in my life.
I love every single person who sings on this track. I love the music video. I’ve been trying to match the flow of the second verse ever since it came out and I still can’t do it with my shitty accent. It’s full of weird and corny lines, but that’s also why I love it so much. The dialogue at the beginning! “Dope, my crew is ill, and all we need is two good wheels”! “Head into the dealership and drop a stack and cop a Kawasaki, I'm stunting on everybody, hella raw, pass the wasabi”! “My seat is leather, alright, I'm lying, it's pleather / But girl, we could still ride together / You don't need an Uber, you don't need a cab / F█ck a bus pass, you got a moped man”!! “Cut the bullshit / Get off my mullet / Stone washed, so raw / Moped like a bullet - NYAOOOOOO”!! “Running around the whole town / Neighbors yelling at me like, "You need to slow down." / Going thirty-eight, Dan, chill the f█ck out / Mow your damn lawn and sit the hell down”!!! Oh shit, I basically quoted one third of the song. I just. Ugh. I love it so much, okay?
Cringe culture is dead and we peed on its grave. We spend enough time in our lives feeling miserable. Like what you like. Even if it’s super ridiculous. No: especially if it’s super ridiculous. Live a little, damn it.
Next up: The Year Everything Went Wrong Except Pop Music
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Picture Perfect: The Hike
Picture Perfect: The Album
Summary: Your best friend, Dean, plans the perfect day for the two of you
Word Count: 920
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
“Alright, next surprise,” Dean said. The last few notes on the tape ended and it stopped, signaling the end of the tape. Had he planned everything down to the minute? After all, he was starting to slow down and pull off onto a mountain road.
“We’re going to get murdered by some rabid mountain men?” You guessed.
“You are. I’m not. I have to live to tell the tale.”
“Why can’t I tell the tale?”
“Because you’ll be dead.”
“How about they murder you and I live to tell the tale?”
“Or neither of us could get murdered.”
“Maybe we murder them?”
“Sounds like a plan,” Dean agreed with a decisive nod. “Or we could stick with my original plan and go hiking somewhere that I promise you’ll get the best pictures for your senior project.”
“I haven’t found any inspiration for my project in weeks and you really think a hike is going to help? Exercise?”
Apparently, he’d expected this from you because he just laughed and pulled off the road, turning off the car. “Ever hear of endorphins?”
“From Legally Blonde, yes.”
“Then do you trust me?”
With narrow eyes, you pretended to consider your answer very carefully. “Fine. But I think I’d rather be murdered by rabid mountain men than exercise.”
The two of you donned your gear and bags and headed for a barely visible trail through the woods. For the first little bit, it wasn’t so bad. Being outside was a nice change of pace from your secretary job where you sat inside all day. However, when the trail got steeper, your complaints became more eloquent.
“I’m feeling very violent and want to rip every single bush out of the ground right now.”
Dean just pushed ahead with a chuckle. “That sure sounds like a lot more exercise than we’re doing now.”
“Where are those rabid mountain men? I want to feed you to them.”
“That’d be a shame. I’m pretty sure you’d get lost without me.”
“Stop being so logical. I’m trying to be dramatic.”
Needless to say, it was a long three years. Or, according to Dean, a long hour and a half.
The sound of trickling water hit you just before the trees cleared and gave way to a gorgeous, lush grove surrounding a small waterfall feeding into a large pond. “Oh my god.”
“You like it?” Dean asked, as if there was any question. You could already see the best angles for photos as titles flew through your mind.
But you couldn’t let him off that easy. “You brought me up here so I could drown you for making me hike for three years? You’re the best!”
“Just take out your damn camera and take some pictures.”
As soon as your camera was in your hand, your entire mood shifted to photography. This grove was the closest you’d ever come to paradise. Small, budding flowers drew your attention first. Soft pink globes against the bright green grasses created the perfect background to play around with the focus. Soon, you had several pictures with various levels of focus. For more than an hour, you wandered around, finding new angles and subjects. At one point, you sat still for half an hour and the wildlife started wandering back in.
A mischievous squirrel slowly leapt towards you, coming within three feet of you before scurrying away. You, of course, captured the entire journey of that brave squirrel.
After an hour, you remembered that you weren’t alone and looked around for Dean, smiling when you saw him on the other side of the pond, a book laid on a rock as he wandered around, looking at the ground. Unable to help yourself, you snapped a picture of him as he picked up a rock, turned it over in his hand, then replaced it on the ground again. This happened a few more times before he found what he was looking for and he walked to the edge of the pond. Camera at the ready, you caught his process as he focused on skipping the rock. Four rippling circles later, the rock sunk into the middle of the pond.
“You can do better than that!” You raised your voice to be heard across the clearing.
“Why don’t you come over here and show me how it’s done?”
With a confident shrug, you stood and wandered over to him. Sure, you weren’t big on exercising, but you did grow up with brothers and always felt the need to show them up. You could sure as hell skip a rock more than Dean could.
As carefully as you could, you set your camera on Dean’s book and went in search of the perfect skipping rock. Certain you found it, you nudged Dean aside to stand exactly where he had. You knew him all too well to anticipate any sort of cheating discourse.
“This is how you do it,” you stated, practicing your throw a few times before flicking your wrist perfectly and watching the rock skip once… twice… three times… and a fourth before sinking. “Fuck.”
Dean’s loud, unrestrained laughter rang out into the sky, soothing your disappointment at meeting Dean’s record, but not beating it. “What was that again, sweetheart? Looks like we’re tied.”
“Oh, you are so on.”
It seemed like forever that the two of you competed to throw the most skips. Finally you gave up when both of you hit seven skips and the rocks ended up on the other side of the pond.
*~*~*~*~*~*~*
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As Long As It Takes (“The End.” -Part 25) (Sebastian Stan x reader)
Description: “I’ll wait for as long as it takes, as long as I get you at the end" You meet Sebastian Stan on the street in New York. What starts off as a fan encounter stretches to an unexpected coffee date and before long you’re caught up in a whirlwind and left with an internal struggle of what to choose.
Word Count: 4108
Warnings: Language.
Authors Note: As noted in the title, this is the final part to this story. Thank you for sticking with me through all of this. It has meant more than you’ll ever know. ALSO, in the process of moving my computer screen was destroyed so I’m trying to post all of this via the mobile app and we all know what a bitch that can be. Therefore, I apologize for the formatting issues that are found here. If it’s too annoying, you can find the story on Wattpad and AO3.
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The following eight months seemed to rush by, yet move as slowly as slime simultaneously. You worked on getting your things and your life, in many ways, packed up and ready to move into this new chapter of your life.
Sebastian had to assure you multiple times a week that everything would be okay. You knew it in your heart but starting over somewhere new brought you anxiety some days, not to mention that packing to move was the worst experience of your life. When Sebastian had free time, he came down to assist in packing. The majority of the time not much packing was done, but instead laying in bed binging television and just enjoying each other's company. There were some instances, however, when Sebastian did help. The two of you went through your things, things you had retained in your possession all the way back into middle and high school.
"I have hoarding tendencies if you couldn't tell by now," you told him one time after the two of you had spent the last three hours looking through one tub of letters and pictures from way back when. The memories had brought back happy tears to you and much laughter for both of you.
"I love you regardless and I will officially put into my vows that I'll never submit you for that hoarders show."
"Ha-ha," you said the words out stocatto-like, drenched in sarcasm. Soon enough, September was ending and Green Day was calling your name. You had just shipped the last few pieces of furniture to Sebastian's apartment, it still felt weird to say our apartment, when a honking horn was directed at you. You smiled when you saw your friends, Beth and Caroline driving up. As you hopped in, Beth addressed you first, "ready to go drop some dollar bills!!!" You couldn't help but roll your eyes.
"Please, please, don't tell me you're actually taking me to a strip club for my bachelorette."
"You'll just have to wait and see," Caroline peeped in. The three of you headed to the airport to board your awaiting plane. When you landed, your friend Talley was waiting for you at the gate. You embraced as you hadn't seen each other in a year or so. You all headed out and to your awaiting vehicle which Sebastian has lined up for you. The limo took you to the hotel where you met Olivia who had flown in from LA to be a part of your wedding party. The five of you decided to nap before heading out for the evening. Sebastian knew you were off limits until the wedding Sunday but you still planned to facetime.
"Hey, babe," Sebastian practically hollered at you once the call connected. You had to rip your headphones out of your ears to avoid hearing damage. "Oh, shit, I'm sorry," he attempted to apologize, not thinking about the headphone not being back in your ears yet. You got the headphones positioned back in your ears and smiled at the screen while talking small.
"You're feeling good, huh?" You chuckled lightly. It was obvious the boys had already gotten started. Seb's eyes were glassy and he had that dorky, albeit very tipsy, smile you loved so much plastered on his face.
"Yeah! We're about to head back out. These dudes, I swear, (y/n), I love them so much." His face quickly sobered. "Not as much as I love you, of course!" His face lightened again.
You busted out laughing as quietly as you could so not to wake anyone already napping.
"Thanks for that. Make sure you tell every one I said hello." The next thing you knew your ears were hurting again before you could remove the headphones.
"GUYS! HEY GUYS!! (Y/n) SAYS HELLO!!" You just barely heard a chorus of "Hey, (y/n)!" in response.
"Babe, you're going to end up marrying a deaf woman if you keep it up."
"Shit. I'm sorry...again."
"It's okay. Well look, I'll let you guys go so you ca-"
"(Y/n), Chris wants to talk to you. Here he is." You heard the phone drop to the floor and the pickup amidst of "Damn, Sebastian. Hey, man. Why don't you go sit down for a minute. I'll bring you the phone when I'm done talking to (y/n) so you can say goodbye." You heard Seb agree before you heard Chris' voice.
"Hey, (y/n), how are you?"
"Oh, I'm good. Not quite as good as y'all are, though, it seems."
"Not as good as Sebastian and some of the other guys, you mean. I'm good. I've only had a beer or two thus far. Someone's gotta keep an eye on these fellas."
"Honestly, Chris, why am I not surprised?"
"At what exactly?"
"That you're taking it easy so that you can keep an eye out."
"Yeah, well. It seemed like the thing to do."
"Well, I appreciate it, Chris. I mean. It's still early and if they're already that tipsy, there's no telling how crazy the night is going to get." You paused, mind swirling as an unsettling thought crept in. Before you could stop yourself you said it aloud. "Sebastian must be getting really nervous about getting married."
"Hey, hold on just a second." You heard a door open and shut and a few more seconds of little sound.
"I wanted to step out where it's a little quieter so we can chat without distractions. Why do you say that? That Sebastian is getting nervous?"
"Just forget it. I honestly didn't mean to. It just appeared in my mind and transitioned to my mouth."
"Well, it clearly bothers you so I think I shouldn't forget it until we talk about it or you talk about it with someone. I would put Sebastian on the phone but honestly, I don't know how much good it would be with his alcohol-filled headspace right now."
"Chris, I really don't think I want to talk about it," you replied even quieter than before.
"You may not want to, but I really think you need to."
"Look, the thought literally just came out of nowhere because of him being so wasted so early. It just seems like a lot of alcohol very early in the evening. I know sometimes he tends to drown out his concerns with alcohol, not always, but sometimes. God, I make him sound like an alcoholic. He's not, Chris, and that's not how I meant it."
"I know, (y/n), I know."
"Maybe I'm the one that's nervous about getting married."
"No, I don't think you are. I feel like you've never been more sure of anything." His response couldn't help but make you giggle.
"You're right, actually."
"I thought so."
"For what it's worth, I think Sebastian feels the same way. I know I've told you before but I've never seen him this happy in my years of knowing him. I think he just is happy to be back together with his buddies he hasn't seen in a while and they were wanting to drink so he joined can.” He paused. "Man, I make him sound like a peer pressured teen." He started laughing and you joined him.
"You really did to be honest. Awww, teenage Seb. I wish I had known him then."
"Has Georgeta shown you the photo albums yet?"
"We've made it through his second year. That's it, though." He guffawed at this info.
"Well, the good news is, after Sunday, you'll have the rest of your lives to look through them."
"It'll probably take that long too," you giggled. A moment passed. "Thanks for talking with me about the irrational fear that creeped in for a moment. Everyone here is napping so I'd have no one else to talk to about it."
"Of course, (y/n), you're one of my best friends. That means we're here for each other. If you need to chat at anytime all you have to do is pick up the phone. You know that, right?"
"Yeah, I suppose I do, despite that I never really think to do so, honestly. That goes both ways. You know that, don't you?"
"I do. Oh God, I hope Sebastian doesn't hear because you realize we just both said 'I do''s, don't you?"
"Oh hell, we did didn't we?"
"Yeah, but I'll keep it on the down low." You laughed.
"Thanks, Chris. I was so worried you were going to show up and try to move in with me," you said sarcastically. "Granted, I'm unsure where you'd move into since I currently an homeless." You could practically hear his eyes rolling in his head.
"You're not homeless, dramatic."
"Well, technically I am still in transition. I'm just saying."
"In transition my ass. All of your shit is here and unpacked."
"No, it's not."
"The stuff you have in your suitcase doesn't count."
"No, but the majority of my stuff is still in boxes spread throughout Sebastian's apartment." He took a moment before answering.
"(Y/n), it's not, I swear to you. I have yet to see a box and I've been here all afternoon." You began to think and wonder because you had literally FaceTimed Seb before the girls picked you up and the only things you had shipped were furniture pieces so all boxes had already made it up there. In fact, Sebastian had tripped over a box of your things while you had been on the call.
"I don't understand." How in the world would he have gotten rid of all of the boxes.
"Hold on a sec." You heard rusting on Chris' end of the line. "Oh shit," you heard him say quietly and you could almost see him looking down in frustration. "(Y/n), I'm so sorry. I think I just ruined a surprise."
"What the hell are you talking about?"
"I think Sebastian unpacked everything for you and had already put it around the apartment. I bet he wanted you to feel right at home and wanted to surprise you by having everything unpacked when you guys got back. He's already separated his closet and one side is all of your clothes. Shit, (y/n), I'm so sorry."
Your eyes began to tear up, touched by how thoughtful and time consuming this gesture had to have been. He must have only had a few boxes left when you had FaceTimed.
"Oh, Chris. It's okay." You sniffled.
"Oh, God, please don't cry. I feel like shit already."
"No!! No, it's not that. I'm not upset. I'm just touched by his gesture."
"Oh, thank God. I was worried for a minute there."
"Well, look, I need to get off of here and take a nap. Thank you for keeping an eye on him, all of them, tonight. I really appreciate it, Chris. You have no idea how much I do. I know we're not supposed to see each other before Sunday but will you please let me know if anything happens and I need to be there? Or if you need backup because I feel like it's gonna get pretty rowdy."
"Well, you may be right about that, but I can handle it."
"Chris. You have Seb, Mackie, Chase, and Chu. Just those alone are enough to cause concern. Let alone the other four.” Chris busted out laughing in response.
"That is very true. Okay, I'll call if I need backup, I promise."
"Thank you. Also, don't take this the wrong way because I love all of them, but for God's sake don't let Seb promise anyone another spot on the groomsmen team. Please promise me that."
"I got you, (y/n). I'll keep them in line and out of the groomsmen line," he said chuckling.
"Thank you, Chris. Seriously, all joking aside, thank you. I forever owe you for all of this."
"Don't mention it."
"Don't mention what?" You teased.
"Oh okay, smartass. Let me go tell Mackie you added him to the wedding party."
"Shit. I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." You both began to laugh again.
"Alright, well I'll let you go so you can nap and I can check on the boys. It's awful quiet out there."
"Yeah, you better go, then. I’ll talk to you later and thanks again."
"Anytime, see ya."
You quickly fell asleep. The next thing you knew, you were being awoken by Caroline and Beth jumping up and down on your bed.
"Damn, you guys." You tried to remain serious but couldn't stop yourself from grinning.
"Let's party!!!" They dragged you out of bed and quickly into an almost endless night of fun. After brunch you all finally headed back to the hotel to rest. Vegging out with plenty of laughs, catching up, and chick flicks were all in order on the night before you married the man of your dreams. Sunday came and the wedding went off without a hitch, surprisingly. You all danced the evening away before Sebastian and you headed out for your two-week honeymoon on a 2am flight.
Your honeymoon was spent traveling through Italy, Romania, and the Philippines. Before you both knew it, it was time to return to your home in NY. Sebastian still had a few weeks off of work so you two spent practically every moment together. Once he was down in Atlanta, you decided that you'd begin a job hunt, looking for something part-time. It worked out that Sasha happened to need some extra help around the shop so you stepped in. Since Sasha knew the inner-workings of you and Sebastian's relationship, the job at the shop gave you something to do and some income while he was away yet the freedom to visit him when it was convenient for the both of you. About a year and a half after you were married, you surprised Sebastian on set in Greece.
"Babe!!!" He exclaimed entering his trailer, running to you, picking you up, and spinning you.
"Sebastian," you squeezed his neck, "oh, I've missed you...so fucking much." You kissed him as he released you back to the floor.
"Oh, that goes both ways," he quietly replied after your lips parted. You both smiled softly but only for a moment. "So, babe! What are you doing here? Why didn't you tell me you were coming?"
"Ahm, Sebastian, babe. It's called a surprise," you responded sarcastically.
"Oh, thanks for the info. I had no clue." He rolled his eyes back at you.
"I just missed you!"
"Well, I'm so fucking psyched you're here. How long are you here for or is that a surprise too?" Now it was your turn to roll your eyes.
"No, that's not a surprise. I'm only here a couple of days. I have to be back to work on Monday." Seb's face dropped a little bit. "Sure I can't call Sasha and work something out?"
"Don't call her. She doesn't know I'm here."
"What?" His eyes grew in size. "You didn't tell Sasha something? Since when?"
"Oh, hush!"
"I'm serious!! You told her about that one night that I had to go to the doctor the next day after what we did. It was like you couldn't wait to laugh at me behind my back. Actually I take that back, you laughed in my face. It was like you couldn't wait to have other people laugh with you." You attempted not to bust out laughing in his face once again. "Go ahead, laugh. I can tell you want to. Your face is about to turn purple from you holding it in." You complied and had to bend over as you couldn't stop laughing. He took your arm to keep you from tumbling over. Once you caught your breath again, you leaned back up, thanking him for the laugh and for steadying you.
"Okay, so a little bird told me you get off around seven tonight?"
"Who've you been talking to?"
"A little bird. I just said that."
"Well, you're right so you must have been talking to someone important or at the least, correct," he laughed.
"So dinner tonight?"
"Of course. Then a little dessert?" He winked seductively. "Actually, how about a lot of dessert? Maybe a couple of dessert trips?" He waggled his eyebrows at you. You slapped his chest.
"Stop, Seb. I get it, okay."
"I mean, it's been a month."
"Seb, I get it!" He pulled you by the hips to him, your face flushing.
"Okay, I'll stop...talking about it. But is it a possibility?"
"Dessert is a possibility."
"Wait. Just to be clear...dessert or," his voice dropped to a gruff tone, "dessert?"
"It'll be a surprise." He smiled, reading your mind. No surprise would be had that night. The next morning, however, Sebastian had a big, slightly prankish, surprise waiting for him. He had left you asleep in the hotel suite and headed to work. He stepped up to his trailer on set to go in and get ready, or so he thought. When he opened the door, about 30 pink plastic bodies slid out of the trailer. He was shocked but then he realized what the pink plastic bodies were. He couldn't see anything but plastic bodies inside his trailer.
"Surprise!!!" You shouted behind him about 10 feet off. He spun around quickly, jaw dropped in shock.
"Wait. What??" He said as a ponderous smile began to spread across his face and his eyes ignited with joy. "Are you saying???"
You simply nodded with a painful cheeky grin. He ran to you, picking you up into a bear hug lifting you off the ground in the process.
"We're going to be parents!!!" He shouted for anyone in earshot to hear. Little did he know most everyone on set already knew as you had roped them into helping you with the surprise. Everyone came out of the woodwork, or rather, from behind trailers, props, and inside the building, clapping and cheering, passing on their congratulations.
Later that evening after Sebastian got off of work, he rushed back to the hotel but when he walked in you were asleep. He fixed himself some breakfast for dinner. As he turned around to plate the food, he saw you standing next to the island.
"Shit. Did I wake you up? I'm so sorry."
"Sebastian, it's okay. I didn't mean to fall asleep, it just happened. I wanted to be awake when you got back."
"Are you hungry?? I'll fix some food real quick...for both of you." You smiled and walked leisurely to him, putting your arms around his back and interlocking your fingers behind him.
"I think we're fine for now. We ate a lot earlier. Thank you, though. We both appreciate it."
Sebastian lowered himself to one knee and placed his hand on your stomach despite that no one could really tell you were pregnant yet.
"I can't believe you're here, little one," he said caressing your stomach. You ran your fingers through his hair as he continued to speak softly to the baby and sneaking butterfly kisses here and there.
"You're going to make a great dad, you know."
"You're going to make an even better mom."
"We shall see. I have said for about seven years now that the only way I'd have kids was if they were yours. I couldn't deprive the world of little Sebastians running around."
"I can't wait to meet her."
"You want a girl," you asked incredulously. He stood up to his full height and pulled you close.
"Yeah, I want the world to have a little you running around." You shook your head and chuckled lightly into his chest.
"I love you, Sebastian." After a moment, his hands moving to your arms and leaning you back quickly he exclaimed,
"Wait! So you're telling me, you knew you were pregnant...and we did ....what we did last night!?" You burst out laughing.
"Seb, you can have se-" his hand flew over your mouth stopping your sentence short.
"Shhh!! She doesn't need to know about," he whispered and then softened his whisper even more to finish, " s-e-x yet." You couldn't help but giggle at how silly he was being and he removed his hand.
"Seb. Babe. Stop." You continued laughing. "You're being ridiculous."
"How long have you known?"
"A couple of weeks."
"So...you mean the last time we...before last night, of course."
"A month and a day ago, yes." You grinned.
"I just can't believe this. I'm as happy as I've ever been."
"Me too, babe. Me too."
You went back home. After another couple of months, Seb was home and on hiatus from work for the following two years. In the meantime, he didn't miss a moment of your pregnancy, the child, Sophia Faye Stan coming into this world, or her first year of life. After Sophia had passed the age of three, Sebastian and you began trying again and it wasn't long before soon you were pregnant again. This time you got the little Sebastian you had been hoping for. Mihail Stan was born in May two months to the day before his sister's fourth birthday. Sebastian continued to work but it was less frequent typically only working a couple of months a year and limiting PR so that he could spend time with you and the kids. Your little family purchased two homes, both near enough to either side of the family so that the kids could know their grandparents better. Your family spent three-fourths of the year in NY as it had become your home since moving and the remainder of the time in NC with trips down in between visits. After Mihail had gotten to the age of two it worked out that a new child came into the family but by adoption this time. Rosamie Sampaguita Stan came into your lives on December 22nd. Adopted from an orphanage in the Philippines, Rosamie was dropped off at the orphanage and no one had been able to track down her parents for the past year of her life. She brought so much joy and a feeling of wholeness to your little family.
By the time the kids got to high school, Sebastian decided to limit his work even more. He stuck to jobs that would be local and didn't require travel. You continued your photography business you started after Rosamie turned six. Sophia pursued acting, like her father, but studied at Syracuse. Mihail grew up loving animals and became a veterinarian, moving to North Carolina to attend vet school at NC State. He graduated with honors and moved to Boone to open his own practice. Rosamie remained close to you. She loved to dance and after studying dance at Juilliard, she opened up her own studio downtown, purchasing a home just a few blocks from the quaint two bedroom home you and Seb downsized to after she graduated college.
The remainder of your days were spent with joy and love. You welcomed the sons-in law and daughter-in-law and adored the grandchildren you were blessed with. It was a beautiful 45 years of wedded bliss.
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I can't believe it's finally over. A part of me has died as I have enjoyed writing this story so much. Thank you to all of those who read and enjoyed. I'm eternally grateful for your kind words and eyes. I want to quote "Chuck Shurley/a prophet/ God" in Supernatural to finish everything out:
"Endings are hard. Any chapped-ass monkey with a keyboard can poop out a beginning but endings are impossible. You try to tie up every loose end, but you never can. The fans are always gonna bitch. There's always going to be holes. And since it's the ending, it's all supposed to add up to something. I'm telling you they're a raging pain in the ass...So what's it all add up to? It's hard to say...No doubt, endings are hard. But then again, nothing ever really ends, does it?"
@pari0924 @yesixoxo @a-d-v-e-n-t-u-r-e-s @verymuchso-youknow@moniquefitzgerald@chmereaustin@rayonship07@buckyband@wydari@parisispretty@mylexlife@ivoryfoxfigliadeifiori@pepperspraymeiwillpeppersprayyou @crownie-sr@sebstan01@awinterloveuniverse@linksforlaylor@layoutmellet@theliarone@rebekastan98@discophony@inthenameofrock@glitterintheairblog@millie-saurus-rex@celinejfong@camerica96@emilyinbuffalo@seargantbcky@sebbysebbastan@iamwarrenspeace@jeelicious78@valentinachr@badassbaker @sebbystanlover-vk@mummastace @ssweet-empowerment @void-imaginations @ilovebeingjoyful @superwholockian5ever @mashed-fandom-imagines @the-nonsenseblog
#as long as it takes#sebastian stan#fanfiction#sebastian stan fanfiction#sebastian stan x reader#my writing
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