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bultaoreunheyyy · 13 days

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Honey Bunny

Title: Honey Bunny

Word Count: 4221

Summary: It happens to him every year like clockwork, for just a few days around the beginning of spring when his pollen allergies start to act up and he decides to do some spring cleaning, forgetting that between all of the dust he inevitably kicks up inside of the house coupled with the blooming flowers and trees outside of the house will send him into a week of allergic misery.

Sickie: Taehyung (snz/allergies)

Caretakers: Jimin (platonic), Jungkook (romantic)

A/N: There is some slight sadness in this one (Jungkook is sad but he gets comfort and cuddles) and idk man, I was gonna do only a little drabble for this poll but then it turned out a bit longer and it turned into this this sooo. yeah. enjoy?

The late afternoon sun is shining brightly outside.

Taehyung knows this, despite the fact that he’s inside and curled up in his bed suffering miserably, because he can see it; from the small space between his window curtains, where they’re open just a little, there’s a bright beam of light shining through that’s aimed directly at the foot of his bed.

More notably, Taehyung can see all of the teeny tiny little dust particles that are illuminated by said sunshine-beam of light, swirling in the air as they dance around his bed and tease him mercilessly, infiltrating his sinuses and torturing him–

hh–!

–torturing him endlessly with their irritating–

hhhHH!

–ticklish existence, and–

“HHHHRESH!”

Oh, the sneezing. Taehyung is so tired of sneezing. Taehyung is so, so tired of his nose tickling. Taehyung is so, so, so very tired of how awful his poor nose feels no matter how gently he tries to tend to it. It doesn’t matter if he uses the soft, silken handkerchief his beautiful boyfriend had bought for him or if he scrubs harshly at his nose with a fist, because both do nothing to alleviate the tickle and both only make his nose feel sore and raw.

It happens to him every year like clockwork, for just a few days around the beginning of spring when his pollen allergies start to act up and he decides to do some spring cleaning, forgetting that between all of the dust he inevitably kicks up inside of the house coupled with the blooming flowers and trees outside of the house will send him into a week of allergic misery. Really, he brought this on himself, but that doesn’t mean he’s not gonna lie in bed sulking as he sneezes his head off, feeling sorry for himself.

“hhhhAAASHCH!”

He’s just very ready to be done with the sneezing part.

If he has any luck, the allergy medicine he took thirty minutes ago will kick in soon and knock him out for a few hours. Taking his handkerchief and dabbing at his tender nostrils, Taehyung rolls onto his back and tries to take in as deep of a breath as his congested airways will allow. He closes his eyes and lets his mouth fall open, breathing noisily through his mouth in an attempt to avoid taking in any air through his nose knowing that it will only trigger another sneeze.

He hears the apartment door open, and he opens his eyes in confusion– had he fallen asleep just now? It seems far too early for Jungkook to be home already, although wouldn’t complain about getting to see his boyfriend sooner than expected.

“Kookie?” He croaks out hopefully. “Is that you?”

But it isn’t Jungkook who appears in the doorway of his bedroom.

It’s his best friend Jimin, and the man frowns instantly when he sees Taehyung sniffling pathetically in bed.

“Oh, you poor thing,” he cries, rushing over to Taehyung. “You look just awful, Tae.”

“I know,” Taehyung agrees. He doesn’t even have it in him to be offended by Jimin’s observation. He knows that he looks like complete shit right now. He scrambles to sweep all of the crumpled up tissues that litter his bedspread off to the side or onto the floor.

Jimin, not even batting an eye at the mess, climbs into the bed and sits with his back against the headboard, and Taehyung scoots over to allow him more room.

“If I had not spent the past ten spring seasons with you, I would think you have the flu right now,” Jimin continues, listening to Taehyung’s congested breathing and taking in the redness of his eyes and nose. He reaches out and brushes the tip of his thumb beneath Taehyung’s eyes, where there are dark circles, the skin puffy and swollen.

When he moves the tips of his fingers down to Taehyung’s nose, however, Taehyung’s face screws up, and he shakes his head frantically, jerking away.

“Ohh– oh no– watch m-my nose, Jimin-hhh! hnghUHH! uhhh-HHHAAHH’SHUH!”

The first thunderous sneeze is quickly followed by a second, and then a third, each one preceded by a desperate, gasping breath.

“iehh– HAASHCH! ehh-hhhHHH– hhh-AASH’TCH!”

“Bless you!” Jimin locates the tissue box, which is nearly empty, and plucks out a tissue for his friend.

While Taehyung wipes his streaming eyes and blows his nose, Jimin pets his hair soothingly. “Jungkook had to stay late. He wanted me to come check on you because he said you weren’t feeling well.”

Taehyung sniffles. “What? Why does he have to stay late? Did he pick up another shift? Ugh, who called in?” He frowns and rubs a finger under his nose. “He said he wasn’t gonna pick up doubles anymore.”

Jimin hesitates, looking down at the bedspread and tracing the pattern with his thumb. “He didn’t pick up an extra shift, but he’ll be at the hospital for a couple of hours after he’s supposed to be off. He stayed with someone while they…They didn’t have any family members there with them, so…”

“Oh, no.” Tears spring to Taehyung’s eyes when he understands what Jimin is telling him. “Oh, no. Poor Jungkookie. My bunny is going to need me! Oh, why did I take the medication that makes me drowsy?”

“He’s gonna be fine, Tae,” Jimin rushes to reassure him. “He’s gonna need some extra hugs, yes. But he said he’s exhausted and he just wants to sleep when he gets home. It’s you he’s worried about.”

Taehyung shakes his head. “I’m fine. All I’ve been doing today is lying in bed and– a-and…”

Jimin passes him another tissue.

“hh-HHHRESH!”

Jimin raises an eyebrow. “Yes, you are completely fine.” He sighs. “Jungkook told me you decided to vacuum and dust on the same day. What on earth were you thinking, Tae?”

Taehyung pouts through a trumpeting nose blow. “I was thinking that my bunny deserves to come home to a nice clean house after he works a twelve hour shift,” he replies.

“Oh, your voice is starting to go,” Jimin tuts. “You need to rest some more. What can I get you before you take a nap?”

“Wait.” Taehyung sniffs, dragging the heel up his hand against his nostrils in an upward motion. “So you’re really not here to kick my ass out of bed?”

“No, love, absolutely not. You’re clearly not feeling well!”

Jimin stands and cleans up the new pile of used tissues that’s been created since he arrived, gathering them up with the others on the floor before tossing the entire armful into the trash. Taehyung yawns while he cleans, finally feeling the effects of his medicine working.

“Wish I could give my poor bun hugs and kisses right now,” he murmurs sleepily, sniffling.

“He’ll be home soon enough,” Jimin assures him. “Scoot over a bit more. I’ll cuddle with you until you fall asleep.”

As soon as Jimin has him wrapped up in his arms, Taehyung starts to squirm. His nose hates him. It’s torturing him, trying to disrupt his best friend cuddle time and he tries to fight it as long as he can, tries to rub the tickle away from his sinuses, scrunches up his face and shakes his head back and forth and–

Jimin suddenly lifts his head and looks down at him. “Go on and sneeze, already,” he snaps. Then, more gently, handing him a tissue with a sigh, “Get it all out.”

And Taehyung does.

“AAAASHH!”

He sneezes.

“hhh-AHHHHSCH! HAAASSH-uh! UHHDSH-ehh!”

He sneezes some more, eyes and nose streaming, nostrils itching and twitching with every inhale.

“uh-HDCHSH! HRESHSH! hhhhhSHCHUH!”

Taehyung sneezes and sneezes, and Jimin holds him, until the fit dies down and he’s left sniffling miserably into a wad of tissues that are barely hanging on.

“Have you considered seeing an allergist?” Jimin asks him, after Taehyung has caught his breath and is pouting against Jimin’s chest.

“hh? hhhHH–! HSCHshoo!”

At some point, Taehyung falls asleep, because when he awakens he’s flat on his back and he has such a fierce tickle in his nose that he can’t even open his eyes.

“nnngghh’HNGSH!”

The sneeze comes out groggy and congested, and Taehyung sniffles miserably in the aftermath, still trying to wake up completely. When he finally gets his eyes open, he can see that it’s late, dark inside his room except for the glow from the small night light next to his nightstand. He’s so congested that his face feels heavy, and there’s something icy cold against his legs that makes him shiver.

“Jimbi’d?”

But it’s not Jimin lying next to him, unless Jimin dyed his hair in the past few hours, and the person hasn’t moved an inch despite the disruption.

“Ju’gkookie?”

Jungkook stirs slightly when Taehyung says his name, but he only lets out a quiet sound, an exhale that puffs out across Taehyung’s skin. His arms are wrapped around Taehyung’s waist and his cheek is resting on his chest, and in the dim lighting he can see that the skin around his eyes is puffy.

With a sad frown, Taehyung realizes Jungkook probably cried his poor heart out as soon as he stepped foot in the shower when he got home– even after years of working at the hospital, his boyfriend’s caring heart is still affected by every single loss.

He cranes his neck so he can press a kiss to the top of Jungkook’s head. “Oh, Bun.”

Jungkook tightens his arms around him but still doesn’t wake.

The icy cold thing pressing against his legs turns out to be Jungkook’s feet, and Taehyung frowns with a new wave of concern when he realizes this. He lifts the blanket just enough to check if Jungkook is even wearing clothes, and is relieved to see that he’s wearing pajama pants at least. Apparently, all he did when he got home was take a shower before crawling into bed, not even bothering to put on socks or dry his hair properly.

He runs his fingers through Jungkook’s still damp hair with a sigh, which triggers a fierce tickle in his sinuses that he tries to squash down by pressing his palm against his nostrils. Moving as slowly as he can, he pulls the blanket higher until it’s over Jungkook’s shoulders, and then quickly searches for the box of tissues, finding it above his pillow where Jimin thankfully left it within his reach.

Continuing to card his hand slowly and soothingly through Jungkook’s hair, Taehyung clamps the tissues over his nose and breathes solely through his mouth– not a difficult feat considering how stuffed up he already is– and rolls them both over slightly so they’re more on their sides. When he feels his sinuses are in control for the time being, he switches the tissue to his other hand and wraps an arm around Jungkook.

Jungkook snuggles into the warmth and Taehyung smiles. His face is buried in Taehyung’s chest, nose right between his pecs, which is why only a moment Taehyung suddenly regrets it– the tickle in his nose returns and his breath hitches suddenly, chest quaking as the sneeze builds rapidly.

“hh-HH! hihh…hh-h-h–!”

The movement of his chest jostles Jungkook’s head, and he moans softly and begins to stir awake.

“hhh…”

Taehyung scrunches up his entire face.

“hhHH! h! hh-ihh–!”

He presses his tongue firmly against the roof of his mouth.

“nhh…uh-hehhh! hh-hh-hHH–!”

Breath hitching erratically, Taehyung brings his hand up to cup the back of Jungkook’s head, holding him against his chest so he’s not jostled around any further. He lifts the hand holding the tissue to his face as slowly as he can, as if any sudden movement will set the sneeze off, and rubs it against his nose with determination.

Rubbing his nose with the tissue only seems to make the tickle spread more. His breath catches sharply and he lets the tissue fall from his grip, jamming a finger under his nose instead to try to stop the sneeze.

It does not work.

“HDXCHT!”

He sneezes once, a booming sound despite trying to stifle it, and Jungkook doesn’t even react. A soft, amused chuckle falls from Taehyung’s lips when he realizes that his boyfriend is still sound asleep.

But there’s another sneeze building, and Taehyung knows it will bring its friends with it, and as much as he’d like to think he’s able to hold them back he knows that realistically he can’t.

“AAAASHH!” Sure enough, another sneeze bursts out of him not ten seconds later, followed soon by several more. “hhh-AHHHHSCH! UHHDSH-ehh! hhhSHCHUH! Ugh, ohh–hh’ERSHSH!”

He’s sniffling against the aftermath of the fit when he feels a kiss pressed to the base of his throat.

“Bless you,” comes Jungkook’s sleepy, raspy voice. “Love you.”

“Oh,” Taehyung giggles congestedly when Jungkook’s breath puffs out against his neck, ticklish. “Hey, you. I love you too.” With a slightly dramatic and quite unproductive sniffle, Taehyung wraps his arms around Jungkook, protective. “Love you so much. And I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to wake you up. I tried reeeally hard not to sneeze, baby.”

Jungkook yawns. “’S okay,” he murmurs. “If I minded I would have slept in my own bed.” He presses his nose under Taehyung’s jaw and breathes in deeply.

“You should have slept in your own bed. You would have slept so much better.” Taehyung reaches out to swipe his thumb under the dark circles under his eyes.

Jungkook yawns again. “Mm. You needed cuddles. You’ve been miserable all day and I wasn’t here to cuddle you.” Yawning a third time, he brings a fist to his face to rub at his eye and then tucks his arms back under the blankets, pulling them tighter around himself.

“Are you cold, baby?”

Jungkook nuzzles into his pillow. His eyes are closed again and he doesn’t respond.

Taehyung starts to untangle himself so he can go grab another blanket, but Jungkook whimpers as soon as he sits up, snaking an arm around his waist and holding on tightly.

“Don’t go,” he whispers, so quietly that Taehyung almost doesn’t hear him. “Please.”

“I’m not going anywhere,” Taehyung quickly reassures him, lying back down and wrapping his arms around the younger man with a frown. “I’m right here, baby.”

“Don’t go,” Jungkook repeats.

“Oh, baby,” Taehyung cood. “My bunny. I love you so much. I’m right here, I’m not going anywhere. I’m staying right here, okay?”

Jungkook nods against him and then stills in Taehyung’s arms. Taehyung thinks he might be crying, but he’s not sure, and Jungkook’s breathing is quiet and even for several minutes.

Once Jungkook has fallen asleep, Taehyung closes his eyes and tries to fall asleep himself, sniffling against a now runny nose and then feeling his heart drop when it causes him to sneeze again.

“HHDSH-ehh!”

The sneeze makes Jungkook jump. “Bless you,” he murmurs, but then he’s asleep again a minute later.

Eventually, after a few hours of restless sleep, Taehyung has to get out of bed because he needs to blow his nose and he’s out of tissues, and he can’t find his handkerchief from earlier anywhere. He also needs his next dose of allergy medicine. But mostly, he gets out of bed because he needs to sneeze again and he doesn’t want to risk waking Jungkook up at all.

It’s easy to extract himself from Jungkook’s embrace this time. He makes his way out to the kitchen, sitting at the counter and resting his head on his arms. As soon as he does, he’s sneezing, not bothering to cover his face because he’s a bit too tired for that.

“uh-HDCHSH! HRESHSH! hhhhhSHCHUH!”

Taehyung checks the time on the oven and sees that it’s only 3 in the morning. Unsure if he’ll be able to fall back asleep, Taehyung decided to take his medicine and eat breakfast instead– he had accidentally skipped dinner the night before, so now both his sleep schedule and his meal schedule are thrown off.

Jungkook pads out to the kitchen an hour later to find Taehyung finishing up a bowl of cereal that he’s been very slowly munching on, struggling to eat with how congested he is.

“You sound like you have a cold,” he worried, sliding onto the stool next to Taehyung with a loud yawn. “I could hear your stuffy breathing from down the hall.” He pauses, resting his head on one hand and staring at Taehyung’s profile. “Are you sure you don’t have a cold?”

Taehyung pushes his nearly empty bowl away and turns to face Jungkook. “It’s you I’m worried about catching a cold. What are you doing without socks or a shirt on?” He frowns. “And you went to sleep with damp hair.”

Jungkook yawns and drags a hand over his face. “You’re overreacting.”

“You know how easily you catch a ch-chill– ohh–! hhh-AASH’TCH!”

Jungkook raises an eyebrow, unamused.

With an irritated sniffle, Taehyung frowns again. “Okay, that was bad timing,” he mutters. “But, you really are more susceptible to catching colds, bun.”

“Mmhmm. And you’re more susceptible to pollen and dust particles?” Jungkook teases. Then, his face softens. “How are you feeling, by the way? When I left for work yesterday you sounded so bad. I knew you were gonna have a rough day.”

Taehyung nods and swipes a finger under his nose. “I’ve mostly just been really sneezy. Jimin came over– oh, you already knew that,” he chuckles. “You sent him to check on me.”

Jungkook nods and yawns again into a fist.

Clearing his throat, Taehyung rests his head on Jungkook’s shoulder. “He told me about what…he told me why you had to stay late for work.”

Jungkook hums and Taehyung can feel the vibrations against his cheek.

“You work tomorrow too, right? Or– today?”

Looking at his phone, Jungkook nods. “Yep. I have to be at work in three hours.”

“Do you have to?” Taehyung whines.

Jungkook stiffens, looking worried. “Why? Do you think you’ll be okay here on your own? Or does it feel like it’s going to be another bad day?”

Taehyung lifts his head and shakes it. “No, I just mean–”

“Have you been taking your medication? And using the handkerchief I bought?”

Jungkook stands and makes his way to the front door, returning shortly with a small black bag that has Taehyung rolling his eyes.

“You’re not seriously gonna give me a check up right now?” He asks, but Jungkook only continues.

He pulls out a penlight and a stethoscope from his bag. “Is your throat sore? You’re so congested, babe. Are you sure it's just allergies?”

Taehyung glares, but opens his mouth obediently when Jungkook asks him to. “Yes, I’m sure!”

Jungkook taps underneath Taehyung’s chin and holds up his penlight. “Tilt your head up for me?”

“Jungkook,” Taehyung warns. He can feel his nose tickling again already. “I swear, if you shine that light up my nose, I’m gonna sneeze on you.”

Jungkook shines the light up his nose anyway. “I work in healthcare, babe. Do you really think I’m worried about something like that?”

“Kook,” Taehyung whimpers. “N-no, really, I’m gonna– hhh-AASH’TCH!”

“Everything is so swollen,” Jungkook murmurs, still trying to get a look up Taehyung’s nose as he snorts and snuffles. “But, your throat isn’t inflamed, so I think it’s just allergies.”

“hhdh’ISHSHCH! HIIIHXSH! Ugh. I already know it’s just allergies!”

Biting his lower lip, Jungkook tucks everything back into his bag. “I can send Jimin over to check on you again.”

Taehyung shakes his head, but he’s still not done with his own line of questions. “Do you have to go in to work?” He repeats. Before Jungkook can respond, he holds a hand up. “Not because of me. You’re exhausted. You’ve barely slept, and you had to stay late, and you had a hellish time at work yesterday.”

A long moment passes before Jungkook responds.

“It’s part of the job, Taehyung.” His voice is soft, almost far-away sounding. His shoulder slump and he clears his throat. “One that I knew about when I went to med school. I will be fine.”

He suddenly shivers visibly and wraps his arms around himself, and Taehyung frowns.

“Not if you catch a chill, you won’t be fine.” Taehyung clicks his tongue. “You probably wouldn’t even stay home from work for that either, though,” he grumbles as an afterthought.

“Why do you sound so old fashioned?” Jungkook laughs. “What exactly do you consider to be “a chill”, hm?” He shakes his head. “If I come down with a cold, it will have nothing to do with the fact that you’re keeping the temperature in here so low.”

He shivers again, and Taehyung points an accusing finger at him. “So you are cold!” He marches over to the thermostat, grinning triumphantly when he sees the number. “The temperature is exactly where you set it, bun. It’s not cold in here.”

Jungkook pouts, then, his stubbornness giving way to the exhaustion that’s trying so desperately to cling to him.

“Stop teasing me,” he whines. “I’m just cold because I’m sleepy.”

Taehyung is immediately back in front of Jungkook, wrapping his arms around him. “I know, bunny.”

He leans forward and kisses the tip of Jungkook’s nose. When he pulls away, Jungkook blinks sleepily at him, a small smile on his face. Taehyung lifts his hand to caress Jungkook’s cheek and the younger man closes his eyes at the touch.

“My poor, sleepy bunny,” he coos before kissing his nose once more.

“Now,” Taehyung continues, voice firmer. “Here’s the plan. I’m going to order us food because we need to eat properly. And then you are going right to bed and sleeping until your alarm goes off for work. I will sleep in my own bed so I don’t disturb you.” He pauses, rubbing at his nose and sniffling as if to demonstrate the potential ways Jungkook might be disturbed. “When you get off work tomorrow– or, tonight, technically– we will cuddle the fuck out of each other. Sound good?”

“Did you say cuddle each other and fuck each other?” Jungkook smirks. “Yeah. Sounds so good.”

Taehyung raises an eyebrow and looks down at his phone screen, placing an order for food delivery from a place that’s open 24/7. “Okay, sure. Let’s see how tired you are when you get off work.” He wrenches to the side with a sudden sneeze. “AHH’SHUH! Ugh. Or, how sneezy I still am.”

After they eat, Jungkook gives Taehyung a dose of allergy medicine and then produces two clean handkerchiefs plus an unopened box of tissues. He makes him drink a full glass of water and then sets him up with another glass on his nightstand.

“I really hope you’re feeling better later today,” he tells Taehyung, kissing the tip of his reddened nose fondly.

Taehyung leads Jungkook to his bedroom and tucks him into bed with a kiss to his forehead. Sometimes, he thinks it’s silly that they each have their own room, since they sleep in the same bed more often than not, but it’s times like this when he’s thankful Jungkook will have a quiet place to rest, even if it’s just for a couple more hours.

He falls asleep quickly once he returns to his own bed, stomach full of food and dosed with more medication. He’s confused when he wakes up about two hours later to a shuffling sound and then a quiet whisper.

“Tae?”

Jungkook’s voice is hoarse– like he’s been crying, Taehyung realizes with a pang of sadness.

He sniffles, rubbing at his nose, and then bobs forward with a tired, congested sneeze that feels more like a reflex than a response to any irritation. “hgshh-ahh!”

“Bless you.”

“Jungkookie?” Taehyung rubs at his eyes. “What time is it?”

Jungkook just wordlessly climbs into Taehyung’s bed, pulls the covers nearly all the way up over his head, and wraps his arms around Taehyung’s waist. He tucks his face under Taehyung’s chin, nosing along his jaw and sniffing, breathing in his scent for a minute, and Taehyung smiles.

“Sweet bunny, why are you awake?”

Still silent, Jungkook buries his head in Taehyung’s chest. He doesn’t move after that, his breathing evening out into a quiet, rhythmic pattern.

“I called in to work,” Jungkook whispers just as Taehyung is sure he’s fallen back asleep.

“What? Why? Are you feeling okay?” Taehyung pulls back so he can peer down at Jungkook, but Jungkook follows him, keeping his face pressed against his chest like he’s hiding.

“Oh, Jungkookie,” Taehyung whispers, burying his face in Jungkook’s hair.

And then immediately jerks away when Jungkook’s hair tickles his overly sensitive nose.

“Nnn-no– hhh! Shit, s-sorryhhh– ihhhh’HIIIXSH! HHHRESH! uh-HIIISHSH! uh-hhhHHH-HIIISHSH!”

The four enormous sneezes leave him with a pounding headache and a runny nose and he immediately starts to apologize until he hears a strange noise- and it takes him a moment of sniffling and catching his breath before he realizes that it’s the sound of Jungkook chuckling very softly into his chest, mouth open and hot puffs of air coming out with each breath that Taehyung can feel through his shirt.

“Bless you,’ Jungkook murmurs after a moment. He snuggles even closer. “Love you.”

Taehyung, pulling Jungkook as close as he possibly can, closes his eyes and smiles so wide his face hurts. “I love you too, honey bunny.”

#bts sickfic #bts snz #allergy fic #allergic taehyung #taehyung snz #sick taehyung #caretaker jungkook #taekook au #bts au #mild angst #jungkook is sad #bts hurt/comfort #hurt/comfort

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gimmethatagustd · 1 year

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keep singing this lie (2) | kth + jjk

Black Swan, an up-and-coming alternative metal rock band, is going on their first official tour. Jungkook looks forward to proving himself in a cutthroat industry; Taehyung looks forward to the groupies. Neither of them expects to find the comfort their hearts truly desire in one another.

↳ pairing: drummer!taehyung x singer!jungkook

↳ wc/date: 7.5k | may 2023

↳ notes: i hope you enjoy tonight's episode of Taehyung Does Mental Gymnastics To Deny That He's Experiencing Bisexual Panic. i didn't thoroughly edit this so if you see anything that doesn't make sense, no you didn't

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↳ what was jai listening to? the series playlist

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On their second travel day, Seokjin announces that he has a surprise for the band. Rather inconveniently, he does so while half the band is asleep.

Jimin is curled up on the elevated cot bed in the back of the van, his lips puckered into the beak Jungkook loves to tease him over. The music Taehyung is playing is loud enough to drown out any sound Jimin might be making, but Taehyung is sure his bandmate is lightly snoring.

To his right, Jungkook is slumped in his seat. Yet, even in such an uncomfortable position, the man’s face is smooth and serene as he slumbers.

Taehyung fights the urge to run his knuckles along the curve of his cheekbone and tries not to think about why he wanted to do it in the first place.

“What’s the surprise?”

He peers at Seokjin through the rearview mirror. He has one hand gripping the steering wheel, and the other is hanging out of the open window. The wind fluffs up his hair, and the midday heat feels good on his tan skin.

“It’s a surprise. How could I tell you?” Seokjin rests on his stomach beside the still-sleeping Jimin on the cot.

“With your words.”

The eldest lets out a snort. “Smartass.”

“Hyungggg!”

He doesn’t mean for the whine to be so loud that it wakes Jungkook up. With furrowed eyebrows and a mean pout, Jungkook blinks his eyes open enough to squint at the highway blurring past them.

“Tae?” Jungkook turns his head to the side and gives Taehyung an adorably-grumpy face.

“‘M sorry, Koo,” Taehyung apologizes. The look he gives him is soft, the feeling in his chest when he watches Jungkook stretch his arms rivaling the heat from the sun on his skin.

Nothing, however, can rival the brilliance of the smile Jungkook gifts to Taehyung. The younger man opens his mouth to speak, but Seokjin cuts in.

“I have a surprise!” He announces for the second time. The enthusiasm makes Jimin stir, though Taehyung knows it’ll take much longer for Jimin to become fully cognizant of what’s going on.

Like Taehyung, Jimin and Jungkook eventually perk up with curiosity, begging Seokjin to reveal the secret.

“It won’t be a surprise if I tell you,” Seokjin points out with a roll of his eyes, but Taehyung catches through the rearview mirror how the corners of Seokjin’s mouth twitch upward.

The van fills with cries for Seokjin to relent as Taehyung turns off the highway to eventually stop at a lone gas station. He always gets a bit nervous stopping in the middle of nowhere, even though they’re all healthy adult men who have their wits about them and can take care of themselves. The protectiveness Taehyung has over the other men is something he can’t shake.

Jimin and Seokjin continue bickering in the back while Taehyung and Jungkook step out of the van.

His feeling of being on edge may make Taehyung overanalyze the way Jungkook fidgets as he stands beside Taehyung. His big eyes flit from the gas pump to the store. At his sides, his fingers twitch, and he clenches his fists before shoving them into his pockets.

“I’m gonna go to the bathroom,” he announces suddenly. He doesn’t look at Taehyung and keeps his eyes on the store.

“Yeah, sure.”

“Cool, cool.”

Taehyung chews his bottom lip and watches Jungkook disappear into the convenience store. There’s literally nothing weird about Jungkook needing to go to the bathroom after sitting in a van for hours, so why does Taehyung feel like his throat is being squeezed shut?

With a sigh, Taehyung turns towards the gas pump.

It isn’t that he’s not excited; he’s sure whatever their leader has planned will be entertaining for all of them. However, Taehyung isn’t the type to show enthusiasm and appreciation like Jimin and Jungkook. They all know this about him. They understand that banter and elbows to the ribs are his way of expressing affection.

Seokjin is a bit more like him, Taehyung thinks as he slides his credit card into the gas pump. Their leader is the oldest, in his late twenties, and the most mature despite the goofiness Jimin and Jungkook tend to coax out of him.

Jimin and Jungkook, though… They’re soft. Sure, Jimin is the same age as him, and Jungkook is a few years younger — turning twenty-three this year. But, even though he’s not much older, Taehyung worries about the two of them. In their industry, soft men get eaten alive.

Sometimes, Taehyung feels like talent can only get you so far.

Shaking his head, Taehyung selects the cheapest gas option and lets his eyes wander the station while he waits for the tank to fill up.

There’s a Spine Breaker Festival flyer taped to the gas pump. The headliners’ names are big and bold, but Taehyung’s eyes skip down about midway to find “Black Swan” listed among the other smaller bands. He knows where to look to find their name; he has a stack of the same flyer on his coffee table at home. There’s no telling how often his eyes skimmed the glossy print, rereading the band’s name repeatedly. It’s different to see one out in public, though, hundreds of miles from his apartment. The ones at home are as crisp as when they were first printed. This one is sunbleached, and the corners are curling from the wind’s violent attempts to rip it down.

Taehyung leans his butt on the van and crosses his arms against his chest. He wonders who put up the sign. It has clearly been there for a long time.

The gas nozzle clicks a few times, and the numbers on the screen still. Gas is cheaper out here, away from the big city. The rest of the guys complain about the farmland and small towns they pass through on their tour route to each city. Taehyung likes the simplicity of it all, though. It reminds him of his childhood. If he sifts through the memories of vicious insults and bruised skin, he can remember tumbling down grassy hills and going strawberry picking with a certain boy with puffy cheeks and crescent eyes.

The same boy throws himself onto Taehyung’s back, his arms wrapping around his neck so tightly that he starts to choke.

“Ji-”

Taehyung gasps when his friend’s hold tightens. He tries to pull Jimin’s forearm away from his throat, but the smaller man leans further into him, nearly forcing Taehyung wholly bent over.

“TaeTae, tell Seokjinnie hyung that I deserve a snack for driving so much today.”

Seokjin makes a noise that sounds like a cat hissing. He’s got half his body hanging out of the side of the van while he searches for something in the back.

“Good God, Jimin, you’re choking the man to death.”

Jimin releases Taehyung to pull the gas nozzle from the van and return it to the pump. The receipt nearly blows away before Jimin’s fingers snatch it up. Seokjin should be grateful that Jimin finished pumping gas; Taehyung typically forgets receipts. Seokjin would have skinned him alive for fucking up the detailed expense reports the older man has planned. As the band leader, Seokjin acts as their manager and accountant, in addition to being the bassist. Missing receipts are justification for execution.

“What kinda snack do you want?” Taehyung twists around to protect himself from a potential second attack. There aren’t any cars at the other gas pumps and no people to see him, but Taehyung feels tense regardless.

“Chocolate, please,” Jimin says while fluttering his eyelashes. As if he actually needs to charm Taehyung into doing anything for him. Not to be dramatic, but Taehyung would die for all three of them. No hesitation. “And can you get Jungkookie? He’s been in there way too long.”

“Probably spending our entire budget on energy drinks. Those things are gonna make his heart give out one of these days…” Seokjin grumbles.

Surprisingly, Jungkook isn’t perusing the gas station’s energy drink offerings. Instead, Taehyung finds him with the cashier, pointing at the disposable vapes behind the counter.

Snatching a few chocolate bars from a shelf, Taehyung stands beside Jungkook at the counter.

“What are you doing?”

Jungkook nearly drops the pink device grasped in his tattooed hand. “Shit, hyung, where did you come from?”

“I thought you stopped vaping?”

Jungkook presses his tongue into the inside of his cheek. Taehyung doesn’t know why he wants to push him. He knows he should back off, but he can’t.

“I’m an adult, hyung. I can do what I want.”

“But you said—”

“You said you’d stop drinking so much, didn’t you?” The look in Jungkook’s eyes is deadly. His expression is sharp and unrelenting, different from his usual soft, starry eyes.

Taehyung did say that. He had to. It got real bad, that time, not quite a year ago. Honestly, he can barely remember anything from that night — except for how Jungkook looked with tears streaking his face and both fists twisted into the front of Taehyung’s shirt to hold him up in the bathroom of their hotel room. Taehyung can’t even remember which city they were in.

Jungkook hadn’t given him any details the following day, and Taehyung had refused to ask.

He’s not sure if Jungkook expects a response. Quite frankly, Taehyung doesn’t have one for him. So he swallows the lump in his throat and watches Jungkook pluck the chocolate bars from his hands. He buys them, along with two strawberry-flavored vapes.

Jungkook is tired, Taehyung tells himself as he follows the younger man to the van. They’re all tired. It’s fine.

Jungkook stuffs the vapes in his pockets before their bandmates can see and hands over the snacks to Jimin.

“Jungkookie!” Jimin squeals with the chocolate bars pressed against his chest as he clambers back onto the cot. “Thank youuuu.”

With a small smile, Jungkook slips into the passenger seat even though it’s his turn to lie down in the back with Taehyung.

Seokjin leans across Jungkook to call out from the van, “Taehyung? You coming?”

“Mhm.”

Jungkook refuses to meet Taehyung’s gaze as Taehyung climbs into the back of the van and perches on the edge of the cot beside Jimin. He leans back to rest his shoulders against the wall of the van.

He feels sick.

It’s fine.

“Taehyungie?”

Jimin crawls over to kneel on the cot beside him. Concern is hastily scribbled across his face, but Taehyung doesn’t know what he’s doing to make Jimin look like that. All he can do is stare at his best friend with as blank a face as he can muster because it’s too difficult to figure out what’s wrong.

“Jimin-ah…” Despite two days of travel, Taehyung’s throat is still sore, and his voice comes out raspier than usual. Suddenly, he feels so unbelievably exhausted.

His friend gives him a look, his expression softening as he lingers on Taehyung’s face. Then, with a small sigh, he opens his arms. “C’mere, baby.”

Jimin molds against his side with his arms wrapped around his waist and his legs thrown over Taehyung's. There’s no one here to judge him for cuddling with his best friend. No one to question or degrade his masculinity, his self-worth. Nothing to feel embarrassed about in front of others. No way to give the wrong impression if the only people here are those who understand him — better than Taehyung understands himself, he’s starting to realize.

Taehyung turns his head to the side to rub his cheek against Jimin’s messy blonde hair. The back of the van is shaded, and Jimin’s body is warm. He finds himself falling asleep rather quickly.

When Taehyung wakes up, he doesn’t remember what he thought he should say.

By now, dusk is approaching. The sky is a delicious swirl of creamsicle-orange and cotton candy-pink, acting as a backdrop for wispy white clouds smeared across the atmosphere. Taehyung peers at it through the window, only realizing he’s alone in the van when he spots his bandmates standing outside.

Ducking out of the van, Taehyung stretches his arms and blinks a few times to help his eyes adjust to the light. It is then that the scenery clicks inside his head.

“Surprise,” Seokjin murmurs against Taehyung’s ear. He digs his fingers into both of his shoulders, massaging away the tension Taehyung carries in the muscles there. “Hope you like it.”

For as far as Taehyung can see, there are sunflowers. Giant, stocky sunflowers stand taller than he does and gently sway in the light breeze that ruffles Taehyung’s wavy hair. Their yellow and gold faces are open and twisted toward the sun.

Turning from side to side, Taehyung sees that the sea of sunflowers travels down the length of the highway, where the van is parked off to the side.

“A sunflower farm?”

Seokjin flashes his younger friend a grin.

“Isn’t it beautiful?” Jimin practically buzzes beside Taehyung. He wiggles his lithe body as he retrieves his phone from his back pocket. “It reminds me of Daegu, Taehyungie!”

Taehyung sees Seokjin’s eyebrows raise, likely in confusion, but Jimin is already bounding toward the entrance of what appears to be a small trail that travels through the field of flowers. He doesn’t have the energy to explain what Jimin means; the memories of his hometown and country make his stomach twist into something grotesque enough that Taehyung prefers to avoid it.

So instead, he pulls out his phone, too, though he doesn’t follow Jimin toward the trail.

“It’s so pretty! Oh my god, we have to make a TikTok!”

Seokjin grins as Jimin sprints back, only to snatch his hand with a squeal and drag him toward the trail.

As the band’s social media guru, Jimin takes his responsibility of curating flawless content for their various social media platforms very seriously. It’s a blessing, considering the other three bandmates are shit at using their socials.

Lifting his phone, Taehyung captures a few photos of the flowers. The photos don’t do the farm justice, but taking a photo is less about creating something pretty and more about preserving the way Taehyung feels. Everyone knows you shouldn’t take pictures facing the sun, but Taehyung likes the warmth it captures. The same feeling bubbles up in his chest as he watches Jimin and Seokjin disappear into the flowers and listens to their laughter echo through the otherwise silent evening.

Moments like these make Taehyung feel like he’s someone other than himself, maybe a main character in a movie about self-discovery and adventure. It’s poetic and pretty and gentle — everything Taehyung isn’t.

The scrawny poor kid from the outskirts of Daegu, who barely knew any English when he followed Jimin to the United States, that kid would have never imagined that he’d one day stare into a field of sunflowers and feel like something important is happening to him. Like this moment means something. Like he needs to squeeze it in his fists and hold it against his chest for fear of letting it slip away.

It makes him feel nostalgic for some reason.

“The view is better from up here.”

Taehyung spins around and lifts his head to see Jungkook’s face peek out from the van's roof. The younger man nods upward, indicating that Taehyung should come up, too.

It feels like progress when Jungkook scoots out of the way to give Taehyung room to haul himself onto the roof. They sit with their legs crossed like pretzels and stare into the swaying sea of yellow and green. Silence doesn’t feel so scary when the sky is darkening, and nature’s soft lullaby calms the racing of Taehyung’s heart. He can almost ignore the unexplainable ache in his chest when Jungkook still doesn’t look at him.

“I’m sorry.”

Taehyung cocks his head to the side. “For?”

“Hyung.” Jungkook shoots Taehyung a glare. “You know.”

He does know. Part of him wants to hear Jungkook say it, though. Another part of him wants to pretend it never even happened.

“You’re good,” is what he chooses to say instead of the million other terrible things that he could.

“I’m sorry I keep having to say sorry.”

When Jungkook speaks, a stream of pale smoke rushes out of his nostrils. Taehyung hadn’t noticed the light pink vape clutched in his hand.

Taehyung knows it’s not the worst vice in the world. It’s Jungkook’s only vice, in reality. The boy doesn’t drink much or do drugs aside from smoking the occasional blunt when Taehyung feels like sharing his weed. Taehyung is pretty sure in the years he’s known Jungkook, he has never had a casual hookup — or even a serious relationship, for that matter.

So what does a little nicotine hurt?

A lot, in Taehyung’s opinion, especially the singer’s voice.

But Jungkook is right; Taehyung doesn’t have the right to judge him. If he really cared, he wouldn’t even smoke weed with the younger man. Taehyung refuses to even address his own… shotty relationship with alcohol, as Jungkook loves to point out. In the end, Taehyung is a giant fucking hypocrite. So what is his problem? Why does he give a shit about something so insignificant?

“Are you ready for tomorrow?” Jungkook asks, changing the subject before Taehyung can say anything else.

It’s a welcomed change, however. Taehyung leans back on his hands as he stares out at the sunflower farm. The van's roof is warm against his skin, but not uncomfortably so.

“I got a feeling this one’s gonna be real fucking hyped. The venue sold out. Did Jinnie hyung tell you?”

Jungkook nods, and when their gazes meet, Taehyung can see the golden sunset reflecting in his eyes.

“Our first sold-out show that’s just us, no big headliner,” he says with a wispy look that makes Taehyung’s heart constrict.

It doesn’t matter that the venue is small compared to the venues the guys dream of performing at one day. Taehyung wants to tell Jungkook that it’s all him. Sure, the rest of them fortify the band, but ultimately, Jungkook is the glue holding them together. Without Jungkook, there would be no Black Swan.

Without Black Swan, he isn’t sure if there would be a Taehyung, and there certainly wouldn’t be a V.

“Gonna wear your lucky underwear?”

Jungkook inhales sharply, loud enough for Taehyung to hear the air get caught in his throat. Then, the younger man lands a nearly fatal blow to Taehyung’s arm. Two lighter taps and the skin on his arm blooms bright pink.

“Shut the fuck up, hyung!” Jungkook complains. “I don’t have lucky underwear.”

“Maybe not anymore,” Taehyung points out with a wicked grin. Another slap has Taehyung scooting away from further danger.

“I’m going to kill you.”

Taehyung sticks his tongue out. “You love me.”

His eyes are squeezed shut once his expression morphs into a pout, so he misses how Jungkook’s face softens when he says, “You’re right, I do.”

“Please fuck me, please. Or at least let me suck your cock.”

The words send a shiver down Taehyung’s spine. Lips brush over his earlobe, and he feels the tip of a tongue flick his hoop piercing. When a hand cups his growing erection through his jeans, he automatically bucks his hips into the pressure.

“Can’t, shit, can’t bring you back,” Taehyung groans, but the girl doesn’t let up. Instead, she pops open the button on Taehyung’s jeans and swiftly unzips them. It’s a relief not to have so much pressure on his dick anymore, but they’re headed down a path Taehyung needs to avoid.

“Just let me suck it?” The girl whines.

Should he let her suck his dick?

Taehyung contemplates it while her hand slips beneath his briefs. Handjobs aren’t his favorite thing in the world, especially a rough, dry one like this, but he’s drunk enough that it feels better than it would if he was sober. They’re not in the most glamorous location, not that Taehyung is picky about where he gets his blowjobs. The alley behind the nightclub where their afterparty is being held isn’t as creepy or dirty as it could be.

But Taehyung is so fucking tired. His arms feel like jelly from their nearly two-hour-long performance. It doesn’t help that he has had very little water, going straight for hard liquor once they arrived at the nightclub.

He’s sure he smells like a gross mixture of sweat and alcohol, but the girl is running her tongue up the length of his throat as though he tastes like candy.

Eh, maybe a back alleyway blowjob wouldn’t be too bad. To be perfectly honest, Taehyung has had a boner for a painfully long time. Performing on stage often gets him riled up, especially if they’re drinking while they’re up there - which they usually are. At least, he and Jimin do. Intoxication, paired with the typical adrenaline and masculine aggression that comes with banging away at his drum set while fans scream their names, is enough to make Taehyung’s head foggy with a different kind of energy. It’s pent-up energy he only knows of one way to get rid of.

However, the blowjob decision is made for him when he hears someone call his name.

“Kim Taehyung, what the fuck are you doing?”

With a groan, Taehyung lets his head fall back against the brick wall of the nightclub and closes his eyes. The hand on his dick disappears, as does the warmth of the girl’s body as she takes a step away from him. He listens to Seokjin shoo the girl away and rolls his eyes despite them still being closed when he hears the girl whine and complain about being rejected.

“Put your dick away.”

Taehyung opens his eyes enough to squint at his friend before dropping his gaze down as he makes himself look presentable. Well, as presentable as he can look.

“What do you want?”

Seokjin grabs Taehyung by the bicep and drags him through the backdoor. “Apparently, I’m on babysitting duty tonight, and you haven’t had any water since before the show.”

Taehyung flinches, jerking his arm out of Seokjin’s grasp once they reach the bar. “I don’t gotta be babysat.”

“Yes, you do. Now sit the fuck down.” Seokjin calls the bartender over with a slam of his palm on the counter. “Do not let him order anything but water, got it?”

The bartender gives Seokjin a once-over before likely deciding that any argument isn’t worth it. She gives Seokjin a stiff nod before turning her attention to her less confrontational patrons. The older man knows how to be intimidating when he needs to be. Even if he’s wearing khakis and an acid-wash blue jean jacket.

Still, it’s not intimidating enough for Taehyung to stay put.

The moment Seokjin ventures back into the sea of dancing bodies to locate the rest of Black Swan, Taehyung decides to dip out. If he can’t drink alcohol and he can’t get his dick sucked, there’s no reason for him to be at the afterparty.

Jimin would disagree if he could hear Taehyung’s rather loud thoughts as the man takes an Uber back to their hotel. Jimin would argue that Taehyung could have spent the rest of the night dancing with his bandmates, his supposed best friends. Jimin would tell him that life isn’t all about falling into the bottom of a bottle and getting his dick wet.

Taehyung knows all of this because Jimin has scolded him about it before.

To: THE BOYS

fuck u guys. i'm giing back to the hotel

have fum withiut me

From: ChimChim

Fum 😌

From: Jungkookie

Fum 😌

From: Jinnie Hyung

Fum 😌

To: THE BOYS

FUCK YOU GUYS

He tells himself that he doesn’t give a fuck what the other guys think about him as he stomps his way through the hotel, practically kicking open his hotel room. He grumbles and complains to no one as he dramatically kicks his sneakers into the air and strips off his leather pants and muscle tee, sending them flying. He ends up leaving a trail of dirty clothes from the doorway into the bathroom. All of this is a problem for Sober Taehyung. Drunk Taehyung does not give a shit.

If frustration could be physically manifested, it would be as thick as the steam that fogs up the bathroom as Taehyung tries to burn himself alive in the shower. He’s frustrated enough that he can’t even jack off properly. It’s like the energy buzzing inside him is vibrating so intensely that he can’t force it to congregate in one area. He wants to fucking combust all at once, wants to let it all out with his entire body.

Taehyung had been right, though. The show had been hyped. A packed venue with fans who genuinely knew who they were, who sang along to all their songs, and who kept tabs on Jimin’s intentional hints on Twitter to figure out what nightclub they were going to after.

Taehyung walked away from the show feeling good. More than good. Maybe it was stupid, but he felt powerful having people there for him. For them.

So maybe that’s why he’s so fucking frustrated. Why is it that everyone else gets to have their fun, and Taehyung is restricted?

Freshly showered and clothed in a clean t-shirt and briefs, Taehyung flops onto the queen-sized bed and tries not to glare at the ceiling. He doesn’t even feel drunk anymore; he is just annoyed.

It takes him all but two seconds before he draws his laptop out of his backpack, tossing aside loose receipts and candy wrappers that fall out with it. He’s horny and has the hotel room alone for at least a few more hours judging by how early it was that Seokjin ruined all his fun. So Taehyung might as well fucking take advantage of the rare moment of privacy. That’s why he uses his laptop, rather than his phone, to pull up his favorite porn site. Bigger screen, and better speakers. He’s got the entire bed to himself so he can spread his legs and lean against the headboard with the laptop off to the side.

Is it better than a back alleyway blowjob? No, unless the girl was the type to use teeth. And even then, Taehyung likes a little bit of danger sometimes.

Still, this is better than nothing.

Just as he presses play on the perfect video and starts thumbing at the head of his cock, he hears the unmistakable beep of a keycard opening the hotel room.

“Taehyungie hyun- oh.”

Jungkook stands frozen in the doorway. Only his eyes move, flitting up and down between Taehyung’s hand wrapped around his dick and his shocked expression.

They stay that way, ogling at each other for longer than either is comfortable with.

And then it’s like a flip is switched. Taehyung frantically rips his briefs back up his hips, stuffing his cock rather uncomfortably so it lies flat against his thigh, and springs forward to turn off the porn. At least he’s got his AirPods in.

“I am so sor-”

“Hyung, I-”

Taehyung slowly sits back down on the bed as Jungkook inches forward. His cheeks are flushed pink, likely from drinking, although Taehyung doubts he had that much. He has half of his hair tied up in a ponytail, and the rest hangs just above his shoulders in the shaggy wolfcut Taehyung hopes he keeps forever.

“You go first,” Taehyung says, exhaling a breath he didn’t know he was holding in.

Jungkook presses his knee into the bed and leans forward slightly. “Can I sit?” After a nod of approval from Taehyung, he sits beside him. Both men sit with their backs against the headboard.

“I didn’t want you to be alone,” Jungkook says after a moment. “It didn’t seem fair that hyung made you leave.”

Taehyung is too endeared to feel like correcting him. “It’s okay. I’m sorry you had to walk in on me beatin’ my meat.”

“Ugh,” Jungkook groans. “Don’t fucking say it like that, hyung, please.”

Jungkook brings his palm down to slap Taehyung. This time, rather than go for his arm, the position they’re sitting in makes it easier for Jungkook to smack the top of Taehyung’s thigh. It stings, but Jungkook has hit him with much more effort in the past. So it isn’t pain that makes Taehyung’s skin feel hot; instead, it’s that Jungkook doesn’t lift his hand.

For a few beats, he keeps it there, palm pressed fully against Taehyung’s bare skin. When he finally pulls away, Taehyung swears he squeezes the muscle just the slightest amount before fully lifting up.

“I’m still sorry,” Taehyung mutters, keeping his gaze on the warm spot on his leg. Out of the corner of his eye, he sees Jungkook shrug.

“I can just put my headphones in and turn on my side if you want.”

Taehyung practically breaks his neck by quickly whipping his head to the side. “Huh?”

“You know, if you wanted to keep going. I don’t want to ruin your night, but I can’t get in the other room, and I don’t really know where else I could go…”

Nothing about what Jungkook is saying makes any sense. It’s all words going through Taehyung’s ear and not being processed by the time they leave out the other side. A tiny voice inside his head tells him he can simply masturbate in the bathroom, but that voice feels lightyears away.

There’s another shrug from the younger man. “Or I could do it with you.”

Taehyung’s heart manages to claw its way up into his throat. It hurts to swallow, a heavy lump blocking his airway and making breathing difficult.

“You what?”

Jungkook’s tongue pokes at his lip piercing while he sits in silence for an excruciatingly long time. Probably only two seconds max, but Taehyung feels like he’s clinging to his deathbed the entire time.

“I could do it, too, if it makes you feel better. It’s not weird!” The words tumble out of Jungkook’s mouth so hurriedly that Taehyung almost can’t parcel them out into neat sentences.

He takes a deep breath and begins again. “Masturbating is normal.”

Taehyung snorts. “What is this? Are you about to give me ‘The Talk’ right now?”

“Shut the fuck up, hyung,” Jungkook whines and Taehyung tries to ignore the flip his stomach does when he hears it. “All I’m saying is that we all get a lot of pent-up energy from the shows, and it’s stupid if we try to act like we don’t.”

“Okay.”

Jungkook’s eyebrows shoot up as though he didn’t expect Taehyung to agree, but he quickly drops the surprised expression before Taehyung can linger on it for too long.

“Do you want some lube?” It feels all kinds of insane to hold the small bottle out like he’s asking Jungkook if he wants ketchup for his French fries.

When Jungkook does nothing but stare, Taehyung slowly retracts his arm. “It’s just, uh, I like it really… wet… so I thought I’d ask… yeah.”

“I’m okay. Thank you, though.”

Suddenly eager to get this over with, Taehyung hits the space bar on his laptop to resume the video.

“Is this what you normally watch?”

“I mean, I guess?” Taehyung dares to peek at Jungkook out of the corner of his eye.

The younger man leans his back against the headboard. He looks calm, fingers interlaced against his stomach that rises and falls at a steady pace. Of course. This really isn’t that big of a deal.

Taehyung has heard of circle jerks, although he always thought they were just a stupid thing guys joked about but didn’t actually do. Or maybe they did, but it was part of some college fraternity hazing tradition that Taehyung would never subject himself to. Even the idea of a threesome has always weirded him out. What is he supposed to do when the other guy nuts? Watch? No fucking way.

But this isn’t some random guy. It’s Jungkook. A man he has known for years, who he has spent literal months out of the year with on tour, all day, every day. He’s seen Jungkook cry to the point of having snot quite literally bubbling out of his nose. He has squatted in dingy nightclub bathroom stalls while Jungkook heaves into the toilet after one too many drinks.

Boogers and puke are worse than cum, right?

Taehyung runs a hand down his face and tries to breathe.

“Hey, I’m just fucking with you, hyung.” Jungkook elbows him in the arm, and Taehyung realizes he missed something.

“What?”

“I said it’s shit porn. Just listen to this guy; he’s groaning like a dying animal.”

“Sure? It’s not about the guy, though, so…”

Jungkook scrunches his nose. “I guess.”

“Are you gonna keep talking?”

Jungkook rolls his eyes but clamps his lips shut.

Taehyung places one AirPod into his ear and gives the other to Jungkook. It almost feels like they’re back in the van, sharing headphones to listen to music together. Except now, instead of listening to guitar riffs, it's high-pitch squeals and breathy moans.

The girl in the video is loud. Taehyung likes them loud, likes the way the screams shoot electricity right to his dick. With his eyes glued to the screen, it’s easy to get hard again (although he hadn’t ever entirely gone soft) as he watches how the girl’s pussy swallows the man’s cock and grips him tight every time he pulls back. She’s on her hands and knees, and it’s a POV video. Taehyung loves hitting it from the back.

The audio is pretty loud, but since it only filters through one ear, Taehyung picks up on a breathy voice that doesn’t belong to either person in the video.

Reaching behind his head, Jungkook rips off his t-shirt in one go, tossing it into a corner of the room.

“What are you doing?”

“Hyung,” Jungkook groans. “It will… you know… get everywhere. I don’t want to get it on my shirt.”

Taehyung’s cock visibly kicks up in his briefs, and he prays to the heavy-metal gods that Jungkook doesn’t notice.

“Right.”

Jungkook shimmies the waistband of his sweatpants down to his hips. It’s far enough for Taehyung to see the outline of his cock straining against his briefs. He watches Jungkook’s hand slip inside his briefs, and Taehyung stares again at the screen.

“Right.”

At first, it’s just the rustle of clothes and bedding that Taehyung hears from Jungkook’s side of the bed. He can see Jungkook from the corner of his eye, but he focuses so hard on the screen that he doesn’t see anything else. But then there is the unmistakable sound of skin rubbing against skin that makes Taehyung’s entire body grow hot. Even hotter when the sound of skin turns wet, and Taehyung can’t make his brain shut up when a little sing-song voice announces that curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back.

Taehyung draws his bottom lip into his teeth and internally screams that this is fucking weird. Yet he still slowly tilts his head to catch a glimpse.

Jungkook has a great cock. It’s perfectly straight compared to the slight bend of Taehyung’s. The veins are prominent, but there aren’t so many that it looks gross or intimidating. His skin looks velvety smooth, the slightly darker tip glistening with precum. Just the right girth and length to be proud of, in Taehyung’s opinion.

In short, it looks porn-worthy. The perfect cock for a rockstar.

Taehyung wants to slap himself for thinking so, but it’s true. It comes as no surprise; what isn’t perfect about their maknae?

Taehyung is bigger, though, which makes him want to do something stupid, like puff out his chest like some kind of alpha male. And that knowledge makes him feel more comfortable shoving his briefs down to let his own cock free from its confines.

What the fuck is Taehyung’s brain going on about?

Realizing he’s been staring at his bandmate’s dick, Taehyung quickly shifts his gaze. However, the new view is worse because he meets Jungkook’s eyes and knows that Jungkook saw him watching.

As if seeking to level out the playing field, Taehyung watches as Jungkook’s eyes drop. His gaze is heavy as he watches Taehyung’s fist glide up and down his cock. He should probably stop moving, but he doesn’t. Instead, he takes his time, first squeezing the head of his cock and rolling his palm against it as he likes to do.

Jungkook’s tongue pulls his bottom lip into his mouth, and Taehyung’s cock twitches as more precum dribbles out of his slit.

The girl in the video starts to scream. Both men return their eyes to Taehyung’s laptop to see the man start pummeling her. His hand wraps around her throat and squeezes hard enough for her scream to turn into pathetic whimpers. Taehyung feels like he’s getting all the air squeezed out of him, too.

Jungkook comes first.

Taehyung has never wondered what Jungkook sounds like when he comes. Obviously. But if he had ever wondered, he wouldn’t have expected his friend to whimper. The little “ah, ah, ah’s” that Jungkook exhales are so soft that a really sick part of Taehyung would find it cute. He can’t look away as Jungkook arches his back to toss his head against the wall, and cum shoots onto his bare abdomen.

Taehyung gasps, his own orgasm hitting him so suddenly that he can’t react fast enough to lift up his shirt. He lets out a choked-out moan and can’t even be bothered to try to stay quiet because the orgasm rips through his body so violently he can’t open his eyes or regulate his breathing. His entire body goes rigid until his t-shirt is streaked white.

His brain is fuzzy and throbs with each beat of his heart as he collapses against the pillows, his arms thrown out on either side. The veins are popping out of his left arm from the physical exertion. He’s sure Jungkook’s limbs are tired, too.

“Fuck.” Jungkook reaches over with his clean hand to close out of the video.

Taehyung hums in agreement, eyes fluttering closed.

“That was…” Jungkook lets out a shaky breath. “That was good.”

Biting his bottom lip to hold in a grin, Taehyung cracks one eye open to peer at Jungkook. “Even though it was shit porn?”

He forces himself not to watch Jungkook tuck his softening cock back into his underwear — though he does allow himself one or two glimpses. He focuses instead on the twinkle in Jungkook’s big, brown eyes and the way they roll at Taehyung’s stupid teasing.

“Hyung,” Jungkook whines, and Taehyung is too tired to understand the way his stomach flutters. “Not the porn; it really is shit. I meant doing this with you.”

Everything inside of Taehyung feels like it short circuits. He opens his mouth, lets it hang for a few seconds, then closes it again because he’s afraid the sound that will come out will be embarrassing since there’s nothing but white noise buzzing around inside his head.

“With me?” He finally asks with a raspy voice.

“Mhm.” Jungkook uses his pinky finger to brush strands of hair from his eyes.

“Why?”

“I don’t know,” Jungkook admits after a few seconds of silence. He leans his head back and stares off into the room. “It’s hard pretending like I’m not lonely. Y’know?”

Taehyung nods slowly, even though he has no idea what Jungkook is talking about.

Jungkook lets out a long sigh. “I’m not like you… I can’t, just, fuck someone. But hiding to go jack off alone in the bathroom every time I crave intimacy is really pathetic.”

Taehyung’s gaze falls on Jungkook’s lip piercing. He watches the pink tip of his tongue wiggle it back and forth, watches him tongue the hole a few times. It’s hard to concentrate on what Jungkook is saying — even though Taehyung has a feeling this is something important that he really should be listening to — when all he can focus on is the way Jungkook’s bottom lip shines with spit.

After such an intense orgasm, Taehyung’s body is all melted and gooey, but he suddenly shoots up when he feels arousal begin to build in the pit of his stomach. He doesn’t have some kind of supernaturally-short refractory period, but he swears he’s already starting to get hard again.

“Hyung?” Jungkook’s eyebrows scrunch together.

Taehyung waves him off as he quickly pulls his underwear up. He can feel his cheeks heating up, but he tells himself it’s the alcohol.

“I get it. The bathroom thing,” Taehyung hurriedly admits, trying to put together a response that doesn’t give away the fact that he had been too focused on Jungkook’s face and not on his words. “I’m here for you, right? Whatever you need, whenever you need it. I got you, you know that. I got you.”

He means it, even if he isn’t sure what Jungkook wants from him exactly. It doesn’t matter. Taehyung would give Jungkook the world; any of the guys, he would.

When he finally meets Jungkook’s gaze again, the younger man wears a bright smirk on his face.

“What?” Taehyung questions with a suspicious glare. He doesn’t like the idea of being made fun of after admitting such sentimental shit. “What do you want?”

“It’s just, cute.” Jungkook giggles. The orange light of the bedside lamp makes his expression glow.

“‘m not cute.”

With a giggle that verges on a snort, Jungkook eases off the bed. “You’re saying these sweet things, and we’ve both got jizz all over us.”

“Oh, fuck off,” Taehyung groans, flopping back against the pillows.

Jungkook’s giggles ring through the room as he scours for his pajamas. Taehyung stares up at the ceiling and listens until the sound is muffled by the closing of the bathroom door. It isn’t until he hears the shower start that Taehyung finally pulls himself out of bed.

Taking off his t-shirt is delicate work to ensure that no cum gets on his face or in his hair as he lifts it over his head. He turns the shirt inside out and balls it up before throwing it on the floor near his overnight bag. They’ll have to find a laundromat soon.

Remaining shirtless, Taehyung flops onto his stomach on the bed. He keeps himself propped up on his elbows so he can scroll through the various social media apps that keep him glued to his phone out of boredom.

He tells himself he’s just killing time while Jungkook showers. Obviously, it makes more sense to go to bed at the same time; that way, Jungkook isn’t disturbing him while he tries to fall asleep. He’s totally not replaying in his mind the image of Jungkook throwing his head back with his lips parted in the neediest, breathiest whimper Taehyhung has ever heard.

Nah, he’s definitely not thinking about it. Nope. Not thinking about how Jungkook’s defined abs had looked painted white, shiny, and sticky. Nope.

He’s definitely not getting hard again. Why would he be? Taehyung isn’t even attracted to men. He’s sure his imagination is just getting away from him because this is something new, something he’s never experienced before. He’s never seen another man in a sexual act in real life before. It’s just new, and his brain is latching onto it because of that. That’s all.

It isn’t until Jungkook returns from his shower that Taehyung puts his phone away to charge. When Jungkook turns around to discard his dirty clothes, Taehyung adjusts his cock in his briefs and scrambles under the covers to hide the semi he’s sporting.

He gives Jungkook an innocent smile when the younger shuffles toward the bed.

“Time for bed?”

Jungkook nods, slipping under the covers as Taehyung turns off the lamp.

The bed creaks while Jungkook gets comfortable. Their arms brush against each other, and Jungkook purposefully — Taehyung thinks — tickles his fingers across his. It makes Taehyung turn onto his side to look at him, even though the darkness makes it difficult to see the details on his face.

Jungkook lets out a long breath. “It’s not weird, right?”

“Hmm?”

“What we just did. It’s not weird because we’re friends.”

“Ah.” Taehyung lets silence overpower them for a few seconds. “I don’t think it’s weird,” he eventually mumbles his way through the lie that he’s not sure he believes himself. But, fuck, does he want to. “We’re friends.”

“Yeah,” Jungkook says, though it’s more of a sigh than a real response. “We do everything together anyway.”

“We do.”

For the second time in three days, Taehyung falls asleep to the image of Jungkook’s pink lips. This time, the image is accompanied by sweet whimpers echoing in his ears.