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absolutebl · 9 months

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This Week In BL - These Are the Days of Our BLs

Aug 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Laws of Attraction (Sat iQIYI) 5 of 8 - They cute making heart eyes at each other, but could we get back to punching & slutty silk shirts? OMG the poor rich kid & the bodyguard who wants to hug him SO BAD are KILLING me. I did giggle & yell “punchy punchies” during the fight scene before the fire. But Charn is a diamond-encrusted evil-gorgeous gremlin beastie, isn’t he?

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 1 of 10 - NO SINGING, but also.. wristbands! Sand is great = smart, snappy & over this shit. (Tired Gay 2.0) Neo & Mark are a revelation, where’d that chemistry come from? Force playing a douchenozzle is damn delight. Plus a counter lift in the first ep? Boys, you’re spoiling me. Mew is the least interesting, but Book is still adorable. Ray is the least likable character, but since it’s Khao, he’s the most likable screen presence. In fact, I’m enjoying all the messy messy gays & I know all their types IRL. I wish we had some femme & swish rep tho. Is this Thailand’s Queer as Folk? Seems like. Is it good? Not sure. But it is FUN as hell. Still, I gotta say it… they all dance like straight boys.

Hidden Agenda that isn’t hidden (Sun GMMTV YouTube) ep 5 of 10 - Zo just wants to turtle & avoid but Joke is not gonna allow that. GMMTV keeps having sub issues (usually fixed within a few days).

Low Frequency (Sat iQIYI) ep 6 of 8 - I do like the psychic gay detective trope. It makes this show more interesting and enjoyable. But they solved the mystery awful fast. I guess different drama spins the final 2 eps?

Be My Favorite (Fri YouTube) ep 12fin - It was fine. I was fine with it. A kind of Vice Versa situation. The usual with Jittirain, as it turns out, is pretty simple: one of her main characters is going to be a manipulative liar or extremely unlikeable or both. It got an 8/10 from me, but probably should get a 7/10 just because I’m so exhausted by this. But I have to be fair and judge each BL on its own & not in light of repeat author mistakes. Not much of a trash watch here. Final full review here.

Dinosaur Love (Sun iQIYI) ep 7 of 10 eps - Boyfriend trip together. Terrible overalls. What the fuck? No. Meanwhile, perfect choice for college star. (Could Ton please lead out a new BL? I know I’m 0 for 2 with him but I’m willing to try again if he is.) I actually enjoyed this installment for a change. Perhaps “enjoy” is too strong a word. Not much happened, dog days of BL, perhaps that’s a good thing with Dino?

Be Mine Super Star (Mon Viki) ep 6 of 12 - Mostly I was excited to watch this week because of Ben but there wasn’t much of him. Sadness. OK, I know it has STIFF competition but does this show have the worst music in BL, or is it just me? I still like Big Daddy & Hot Doc as characters but I am despairing over their arc (would we call it an arc?). All in all this week... Whatever.

Wedding Plan (Weds YT & iQIYI) ep 4 of 7 - I am officially being driven to drink. Trash watch is happening!

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Jun & Jun (Korea Thurs Viki) 4 of 8 - This show makes me laugh so much. It is so damn cute. And there’s so much language play going on. THEN . . . JUST ADD SIMON. I love a good Simon. Who doesn’t love a good Simon? I know SO MANY Simons. Now 3 boys are circling the ingénue (who I suspect is less innocent than he appears). So much delightful competition, postering & flirting. “My Jun,” is he, Simon? You are a precious angular stalk man, aren’t you? Pacing is great with this show. Every week I can’t wait for the next installment, that’s a hallmark of the best KBLs. If the language stuff confused you as much as it did me here is an EXCELLENT post on the subject that will help.

Stay By My Side (Taiwan Fri Gaga) 7 of 10 eps - Sweetest seme. He’s hurt & mad at his boy but still can’t help taking care of him. I do like the courting with snacks & sweet little notes. (It’d work on me.) YAY! Reunion kisses & nuzzles!!! Snuggling!!!! Gah! Taiwan, I love you. These 2 aren’t your best kissers but their cuddling is off the charts. I guess we are just gonna be plotless messy gay bfs for the final 3 eps? That’s cool with me.

Sing My Crush (Korea Weds iQIYI) 3-4 of 8 eps - it’s adorable, they’re adorable, I’m enjoying it a whole lot. It’s like a very soft, low-stakes Addicted.

Love Class Season 2 (Korea Fri Viki) 10 eps - I liked Love Class 1 (more than most on Tumblr) & I normally don’t want 2nd seasons. But this has an entirely new cast (in the “Replay” model). I’m fine with a 2nd season that has little or nothing to do with the first. J-min is an interesting choice of idols but he’s doing an unexpectedly good job. (He is a truly great rapper, by the way.) Trigger warnings out the gate... also this is complicated. Ready? We got 3 queer besties: artist gay Hyun (J-min), shy cafe gay Minwoo (in love with), sunshine gym bunny bi slut Maru (represent, my brother). Then we got Mr Put-upon-TA (+ boy who saw him nekid). And the twist = all black otaku Kim An (used to tutor artist gay in high school = exes ghosting DRAMA). This last reads as a hyung romance. Which you know I love. But it also feels v dark. All of which is to say, I am intrigued but a little nervous over the tone.

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 1 of 8 - Classic JBL is back! This one is My Beautiful Man + Tokyo in April/Oh My Assistant. It’s odd and warped af but I like it. Very much has a the feel of old live action yaoi + VERY D/s. BRING IT JAPAN.

Minato's Laundromat Season 2 AKA Minato Shouji Coin Laundry Season 2 (Japan Thu Gaga) 6 of 12 eps - Shin is my sweet bean sprout and Minato should just boink him. Why all this waffling? I love the doctor. But mostly I’m as frustrated with this show as Shin must be in general. Minato 2- the season of blue balls.

Stay Still (Hong Kong Tues YouTube) 2 of 5 eps - I re-watched the first 2 eps & now find it a bit more comprehensible (yes 2: there is an ep 0). I don’t think we can expect this to end happy for either couple. It’s kinda sticky & grungy (in a way I’ve come to expect from the Philippines, although this is not as cluttered visually nor as brightly colored as the Pinoy stuff). I do kind of like that lived-in feeling, it reminds me of Taiwanese shorts. There is something very honestly queer about the primary leads (tattoo & babyface) in particular the way they dance queer? around each other: verbally, emotionally & physically - laying down breadcrumbs of gay for the other to follow. The secondary couple (reunion, cheating) is very sad. Although I do love a counter lift make-out sesh. (Occasionally Cantonese sounds like Vietnamese to me. Apparently I am not alone in this.)

Gossip - AKA P’ABL is Disappointed

I was gonna put a statement here but I just did it separately, earlier this week, since my ask box was overflowing regarding actor gossip and other stuff.

Meanwhile, Stay With Me ended exactly as expected. Can’t say I didn’t warn ya. You watched this anyway? You got what was coming to you. I am entirely unsympathetic.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Look at that PACKED week. NIIICEEEE.

Starting:

8/18 Dangerous Romance (Thai Fri GMMTC YT) 12 eps - Perth returns to lead out a BL, odds on that ever happening were slim. (Let alone Chimon.) Still here we are. Interesting times. Chimon plays a poor studious kid who hates the school bully but is forced to become his private tutor. Lurv results.

8/19 Love in Translation (Thai Sat One31) 10 eps - Two strangers start working in a cafe together. Looks very pulp. No idea on international distribution.

8/19 I Feel You Linger in the Air (Thai Sat Gaga) 12 eps - The time travel historical romance many of us have been waiting for. Adaption of y-novel by Violet Rain. Heartbroken architect is transported to the 1930s. From the producers of Lovely Writer.

8/20 My Universe series (Thai Sun iQIYI) 24 eps - This is sampler pack BL, 12 pairs, each pair gets 2 eps, not sure on the order they’ll drop. Known couples include EarthBank from Destiny Seeker and KaownahTurbo from Love Stage!!!, fresh faces otherwise. Jane to direct.

Still Coming in August 2023

8/22 Kisseki: Dear to Me formerly known as Miracle (Taiwan Tues ????) 13 eps - From screenwriter Lin Pei Yu (We Best Love, H3: Trapped) features a student doctor forced to take care of a gangster. I love the premise and like the writer, Viki or Gaga will get this one.

8/23 Why R U? (Korean remake iQIYI) is supposed to be out this month, filming started in sept 22. I find everything about this hilarious. I mean if Korea remakes it, we lose all the sexy and then... would we have a story at all? No we would not. Not even for six short eps. It’d be like one of those mesh shopping bags.

8/24 Man Suang (Thailand movie, domestic cinema release) - historical drama about Thai burlesque with KP’s MileApo.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

Talking grandkids. Made me snicker. (Low Frequency.)

The waist grab that launched a thousand gifs (Laws of Attraction). Okay it was last week but I gotta chronicle it here in the weeklies. For science.

Sing My Crush. They are so damn cute.

Thank you for the counter action GMMTV, please Sirs, may I have another?

Captain snark in the house. Of course they handed the best and most complex pairing to these two. Well done GMMTV. (Only Friends)

I really did not expect J-Min to be this good. (Love Class 2)

(Last week)

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zahmbie · 10 months

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Do you have any Toby x reader headcanons 👉👈

Boy do I!

General Ticci Toby x Reader headcanons

I don’t think there’s any warnings needed here? Let me know if I missed them!

He’s not even going to try to hide the fact that he’s a serial killer when you start dating him. It’s just a part of him you’ll need to accept if you wanna be with him long term. Plus, unless you two meet at a costume party or something it’d be kind of hard to hide it in the first place, he never takes the mask off outside the house.

He’s kind of proud of his status as a proxy, he feels strong because of it, but he honestly treats the whole thing like a day job.

Like yeah he’s a killer, he has his issues, and he shouldn’t be woobified, but there’s more to him than just killing people. He likes making art- though he doesn’t think he’s good at it, he likes to listen to music and garden, and he watches the birds out in the forest.

Speaking of art, normally when he gets you a gift it’s something stolen, unless it’s a romantic gift. If he needs something for your birthday, a holiday, or a just for fun gift he’ll steal something, for valentine’s day or an anniversary he’ll make something. Even though he’s shy about his art he’s really good at wood carving, and makes you little carvings of the wildlife he sees.

Having a partner is a level of domesticity he hasn’t had in a long time and he craves it. He comes home tired from a long day of killing people and he just wants to eat and cuddle you until he falls asleep.

Out of any mask wearing creep he’s the easiest to get to take it off. It’s never gonna happen outside of the house, maybe not even outside his bedroom, and It’s still gonna be a while before he does it, a couple weeks, maybe a few months on the high end. But in his mind if you haven’t made fun of him for his tics you probably aren’t going to make fun of him for his scars.

Very much a hype man for his partner. Everything you do he’s cheering you on, even if it’s stupid he’s behind you all the way.

I’ve seen some people say he playfully insults his partner and I agree but it’s got a hard limit. You guys might call each other bitch playfully but he can’t do actual insults, even as a joke he can’t take insulting someone he cares about or hearing them insult him.

Also a guard dog type partner. If anyone says anything even a little mean to you you’ll have to hold him back from killing them.

He does give compliments frequently, words of affirmation (and giving gifts) is his love language for giving and receiving.

Toby’s autistic (on top of his other neurodivergencies) and would prefer a partner who’s got disorders like him. It’s not a dealbreaker if you don’t have any, he just likes the connection there.

#creepypasta x reader #ticci toby x reader #toby rogers x reader #creepypasta headcanon #zombie writes #for reference his other art is mostly emo ball point pen drawings in old notebooks #Love this animal the Tiby #I have more but i wanna get a request out today #i brought it up as a joke but i really like the idea of the creeps going to a Halloween party

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alwaysahiccupandastrid · 1 year

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Peter Pan & Wendy (2023) - Thoughts

A little bit of brief background here; I’m a huge Peter Pan fan. I grew up loving the Disney animated film but the 2003 live action has always been the superior Peter Pan adaptation to me; Peter Pan holds a special place in my heart as my late nan who I was close with used to take me to the panto every Christmas, and my favourite ones were always Peter Pan.

So without further ado: I watched the new Disney’s Peter Pan & Wendy that came out on Disney+ this weekend!

First, some live watching thoughts:

This movie is literally carried by Ever Anderson as Wendy, like no disrespect to the other cast but she literally carried this film in my opinion

By the way, anyone complaining about it being Wendy’s story is an idiot because the story has ALWAYS been Wendy’s story, ever since Barrie wrote the play and novels. Regardless of which version you watch, it always starts with her lamenting about not wanting to grow up and ends with her acceptance of the fact she must grow up - it’s HER journey, her development.

I have no idea why Disney/Lowery chose to cast two separate actors as Mr Darling and Captain Hook but I’m NOT a fan of that choice. Even in the animated film, they’re voiced by the same actor - it’s a part of Peter Pan tradition to have the actor play both roles, so it’s baffling that it’s not the case here.

I really wish this film had spent a little bit more time BEFORE Peter arrived to show us more of each of the children and also the relationship between the children and their parents. The film opens with a nice little scene of John and Michael sword-fighting whilst Wendy prepares to head off to boarding school, and then she joins them and their father scolds her for “this is how you choose to spend your last night in the nursery” and “you’re too old for this sort of fun”, which definitely works… but it’s very quick paced and it rushed by so quickly, like the film kind of just spends only a few minutes establishing “Wendy is being sent to boarding school the next morning; she doesn’t want to grow up; her parents want her to be a better role model to her brothers” and that’s it.

Also interesting to note that Wendy is not in a nightgown in this version but some kind of pyjama-ish undergarment outfit, plus a dressing gown

Wendy aggressively reading a book in her bed… same though

Nana appears but only in brief moments 😭 WE DESERVED MORE NANA! In this version she’s kind of more just a pet - they never mention that she’s the Darling family’s nursemaid and looks after the children, and there’s a brief flash where (I think) you see a young Wendy cuddling her as a puppy… like??? She’s not just a dog, she is not just a pet, she is the finest nursemaid on four paws because the Darlings can’t afford to hire one.

“I want things to stay the way they are.” “Perhaps I don’t want to grow up.” — same, Wendy, same

“Just imagine all of the things you would miss out on if you didn’t see where it took you… and all the things the world would miss if you weren’t there to do them.”

Mrs Darling’s lullaby was lovely by the way

Yara Shahidi as Tinkerbell is BEAUTIFUL. I love her facial expressions, and even though there’s less attitude and she’s not jealous in this version, I still love her

I know that the film was supposed to film in 2020 but Covid shut things down so they didn’t film until a whole year later, and obviously children grow very quickly… but Peter’s voice is so deep in this version, you can tell Alexander Molony hit puberty during lockdown. I feel bad for criticizing a kid about it because it’s not his fault, but it can’t be denied that he’s older than Peter is supposed to be. Ever Anderson was also 13-14 when filming actually happened, and while it’s slightly less glaringly obvious with her, she’s definitely a tiny bit older than most versions of Wendy. I think it’s more obvious with Alexander though because of the deep voice.

This version makes it seem like Mrs Darling is the storyteller and Wendy isn’t, which kind of bugs me to be honest but oh well

Let’s be honest, no adaptation will ever top the “Flying” scene from the 2003 version - that was a whole masterpiece in itself. This version does do a nice enough job though, all things considered, even if the CGI doesn’t always look quite right

I don’t want to slam how Neverland looks because I’m aware it was filmed in Newfoundland in Canada, which I don’t doubt is a beautiful place - what I will say is that I don’t know if there was some kind of ultra real gritty filter added on it if it’s something else, but to me it just wasn’t colourful enough. Neverland is supposed to be magical and vibrant and like a dream, not 100% rigidly realistic. They could have made Skull Rock shaped at least somewhat like a skull for God’s sake, just as an example

“Smee, make a note my cabin needs a new door.” “Yes… might I say, captain, that’ll be your third door this month-“ “and it won’t be the last.” — okay, I had a little giggle here, I won’t lie

Jude Law’s version of Hook has heterochromia which is definitely interesting - I wonder why it was included though, like what purpose does it serve the story

Wendy meeting the Lost Boys changed from Tink telling the boys to shoot her out of the sky and them nearly murdering her, to her washing up alone and running into them and Tiger Lily, which is definitely a choice

AHHHHH TIGER LILY SPEAKING CREE, SHE IS ALSO LITERALLY A PRINCESS IN EVERY SINGLE WAY LIKE HOW SHE SPEAKS AND CARRIES HERSELF

I am genuinely still on the fence about the Lost Boys including girls but at the end of the day… whatever. It’s not that big a deal in the grand scheme of things. I still find the “but you’re not all boys” “SO?!?” exchange cringey though, not gonna lie

Wendy’s response to the above being “well I guess it doesn’t really matter”, so true

I think it’s a good thing that the Lost Boys include non white and disabled kids (Slightly has Down syndrome) but also I really hope those kids stay off social media for a while because the absolute nastiness being flung around about them (especially Slightly) is disgusting

The Lost Boys being like “she’s too old” “she’s too grown up” 💀 that and Mrs Darling’s “darling, you barely fit in your bed” comment feel oddly meta and about the actors growing while filming was delayed

Wendy Moira Angela Darling realising her brothers have been captured by pirates: “…oh dear” 💀 the timing of it was perfect though lmao

Tell me that Smee did not just use the phrase “compatriots of you-know-who” in front of a man who played Dumbledore 💀

John: We don’t care about your rules, we came with Peter Pan! // the entire pirate crew eavesdropping outside: *groaning/gasping*

PIRATE SEA SHANTIES FTW

Peter Pan really disappears from this movie at about 20 minutes in (after appearing for the first time only 10 minutes beforehand) and doesn’t reappear until a whole 15 minutes later?!?

“I’ve found you guilty of being a child - and we can’t have children in Neverland” — IS HE FUCKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!?!? (Hook was in fact deadly serious)

NOT TEDDY LOSING AN ARM 😭

Who the hell did Peter think he was tricking with that absolutely terrible disguise, it looks like stuck a mop on his chin for god’s sake?!?

Wendy being shocked that Peter is showing off as if that isn’t his whole personality summed up 😶

“Oh brother, Hook’s singing again” - I CACKLED IM SORRY

“Proud and insolent youth, have at me!” — I GASPED I TELL YOU, GASPED

PETER AND HOOK’S SHADOWS HAVING THEIR OWN SWORD FIGHT OH MY GOOOOODDDDDD

“Oh, Wendy… you’re still alive!” ASDFGHJKL

OH HOOK PLAYED DIRTY AND HE SAID HE LEARNED HIS BAD FORM FROM PETER DIXNDMALZPZOZL WHAT IS GOING ON

“For to die would be an awfully big adventure” - THAT’S THE MONEY LINE RIGHT THERE

“SHE’S A WENDY!!!”, and all that ran through my mind was the Barbie meme:

Wendy finishing Hook’s sentences and cutting him off each time ASDFGHJKL we love a know it all

AHHHH ITS TICK TOCK THE CROC, I was so scared they’d forget about the crocodile so I’m happy he’s here

THE SEQUENCE WITH THE MUSIC AS HOOK IS RUNNING AWAY FROM THE CROC ASDFGHJKL COMEDY GOLD

WENDY FUCKING SLAPPED PETER ACROSS THE FACE AND IT DID A MOVIE MAKER CIRCLE FADE OUT ARE YOU SERIOUS RIGHT NOW WTAF-

“It was an adventure, wasn’t that what you wanted?” “Yes but I didn’t think it meant being shot out of the sky by pirates” — yeah, that’s a valid point I guess

Poor Tinkerbell just twinkling and getting absolutely ignored :/

“You have a magical fairy that makes you fly! And a gaggle of children that do your bidding with a princess that cleans up your messes while you’re off gallivanting with pirates” — OOF, also Tinkerbell and Tiger Lily both smiling and nodding their agreement of Wendy’s words asdfghkl love to see girls supporting girls

Wendy throughout this whole movie is pretty much just the “I came out to have a good time and I’m honestly feeling so attacked right now” meme

You’re telling me the Lost Boys hideout is no longer hidden in a tree but a GIANT tower?!? Not exactly hidden now, is it?!?

Wendy and Tiger Lily together having one of the best scenes in this movie, you love to see it ❤️

So what I’m getting from this adaptation is that instead of the Lost Boys actually getting “lost” and not claimed, Peter waits for them to say “I don’t want to grow up” then whooshes in and brings them to Neverland…

Okay so Wendy is still kind of seen as the storyteller in this version…? The kids ask her for stories so…?

“Wendy can be our mother” “goodness no! I don’t even know if I want to be a mother!” — I have thoughts about this??? On the one hand, I’m a book purist and for me I’m like “she does agree to be their mother tho??? That’s why she was brought to Neverland???” (And also she canonically has a daughter called Jane) but on the other I’m like “fair enough” because a) she’s a child and b) you can’t force people to have children if they don’t want them. Idk

Im 90% sure Wendy’s hair changed from a side parting to a middle parting at some point but I don’t know where or when it happened

Wendy singing a lullaby, which is actually a nice callback to her singing “Your Mother and Mine” in the animated film

You’re telling me Hook and the pirates have never found their huge ass tower hideout and that Wendy’s gentle singing was loud enough to reach the pirates and alert them of their location?!?

JAMES?!? As in Hook?!?

“It’s a kiss - I made it for you” — ITS AN ACORN NECKLACE IM-

Peter and Hook used to be best friends?!? Hook was the first lost boy in this version?!? Lowery doing his own canon at this point, oh my god

This film really missed a trick, like it could have really heavily leaned into the dark side of Peter Pan with the whole “you must never leave” stuff he says 👀

This film really wanted to be the 2003 version so bad, like the moment where Peter walks away after their conversation about Neverland not being what she expected and Wendy calls “Peter!”… it wanted to be the Fairy Dance scene WAY too bad

Imagine walking down their stairs into a room, turning around and seeing your brothers/the whole gang of lost boys tied up and gagged 😳

Hook saying Wendy’s full name and later dragging his hook over the door was creepy ngl

HE JUST SLASHED PETER ACROSS THE CHEST

“Captain Hook… I don’t think I like this adventure” *falls down 20 feet* — EXCUSE ME???

You’re telling me Peter survived a) a slash to the chest and b) a 20 foot drop?!? I mean I know he’s magical and all but…?!?

Eyyy Tiger Lily to the rescue, the women truly run this film

“Then listen… *hums awkwardly*” - I genuinely can’t tell if this film is supposed to be this weirdly hilarious or not

Mr Smee was the one who found Hook and rescued him, I’m-

“This is what growing up looks like.” “No. This is what it looks like when you grow up wrong.” - OOF

HOOK SNAPPING WHEN SMEE CALLED HIM JAMES 😭

“Execute every last one of them” sounds so much worse than “become a pirate or walk the plank” like sir all they did was be kids who haven’t managed to hit puberty yet and you’ve got them all screaming like they’re about to be mass murdered (which they are) 💀

Wendy offering herself instead, “they’re only children, let them live!” - ma’am you are also a child?!?

“Let them live, they’ll be good pirates - especially those two” (meaning John and Michael)… I love Wendy stepping up and looking out for her brothers, especially given at the beginning of the film she full on blamed them for the whole mirror situation

Peter being super injured and unable to fly so Tiger Lily has to help him 🥹

Why does this pirate shanty as Wendy walks the plank actually slap hard though?!?

Tinkerbell lifting her little prison up and smashing Smee on the head so she can help Wendy, we love to see it

The fact that Wendy thinks happy thoughts stepping off the plank and it’s not just her childhood memories anymore (like in the flying to Neverland scene)??? She imagines growing up and the things she could do if allowing herself to grow up?!? 😭

The utter silence after she steps off the plank followed by Hook being like “… hang on, there was no splash?!?”

Tinkerbell damn near used every single bit of fairy dust in existence just to lift up the ship and play what is essentially a huge joke on the pirates is such legend behaviour lmao

“You have the boy’s magic.” “No, this magic belongs to no boy!” — HELL YEAH WENDY YOU ARE ALWAYS THE MAIN CHARACTER

I’ll be honest, for a film where Peter is billed first he has done VERY little besides a small duel, get stabbed and nearly die twice

The depressed pirate who goes “well wake me up before one of them kills the other… again” is such a mood lmfao same

It’s interesting that it’s Wendy with the flight skills as she fights and Peter without the flying I guess??

Wendy and Tiger Lily are literally saving every single other character’s asses at this point, like they’re the only reason anything has happened in this film

Rotating the entire ship was not something I thought I’d ever see and yet here we are

Peter falling off the upside down ship and Wendy catching him?!? And the fairy dust rubbing off onto him??? (Literally what even has Peter done in this film I feel bad for saying it but…)

I kind of like the idea that Peter and Hook intentionally don’t kill each other because both of them live for their battles and it’s almost like a game, a cycle, that Neverland lives off of? Idk if that makes sense lol

“Oh captain… Grow up.” - I CHOKED SHE GAGGED HIM

Peter grabbing Hook by the hook so he won’t fall and saying “I’ve got you James, just think happy thoughts”…???

“Peter… I haven’t got any…” AND THEN HE FALLS, DETATCHED FROM HIS HOOK?!? I KNEW HE DIDNT ASDFGHJKL BUT LIKE THIS?!?

I’ve literally only just realised that the Teddy has a fork as a prosthetic arm 💀

“It’s time to get these lost boys home” - what she REALLY means is “let’s take them back to my place and I’ll tell my parents I’ve adopted ten children on their behalf” 💀😂 that part always makes me laugh in any adaptation/version of the story, I won’t lie

So basically no time has passed in the real world while they’ve been in Neverland? No Mr and Mrs Darling keeping the window open for when their children return???

“Boy… why are you crying?” - IM SHAKING, CRYING, SCREAMING, THROWING UP I HAVE CHILLS

You’re telling me Peter lived in the exact same house as Wendy as her brothers???? That’s why he kept returning to that house, not because Wendy believed strongly in him or he liked her stories but because it was his old home?? 😶

“I’m just a story, told to any child who’ll listen” - oof true. Kids today don’t really know Peter Pan anymore, which is super sad - they know Tink but they’re not as familiar with Peter Pan these days

“You know, Peter… after all this… I think that to grow up… why, it might just be the biggest adventure of all. Just think of all of the things that could be right around the corner that you’re missing out on. Think of what the world is missing out on with you not being there to do them.” 👏👏👏

THE SHIP LITERALLY RIPPED THE CHIMNEY OFF GOOD LUCK PAYING FOR THAT GEORGE

Wendy crying as she says goodbye to Tink 😭 “and please don’t forget about me”

WENDY BEING ABLE TO HEAR TINKERBELL SPEAK ASDFGHJKL BEAUTIFUL… “thank you for hearing me” - I DONT CARE, THATS SO POETIC???

Wendy carving her name under Peter’s so now it says “Peter Pan + Wendy” 😭

Hook is still alive?!? I don’t know why I’m so shocked at this point lol

The way Hook and Pan smiled at each other when Peter returned, oh boy here we go again

The end credit animations are so pretty omg

So, overall… it’s not the worst Disney remake. It’s truly not that bad, at least not enough to warrant racist morons bombing it with one star reviews. It’s definitely not a patch on the 2003 version, at least not in my opinion - that one will always reign superior, at least to me.

Some things:

I definitely feel like this film was carried by Ever Anderson as Wendy, she literally did the most and seemed the most well suited for her part overall

Jude Law was actually better than I thought he would be as Hook, Jason Isaacs is still my favourite but Jude is alright

I think Alexander Molony had the right spirit, I just think that he wasn’t given all that much to do and also it was very noticeable that he was on the cusp of adulthood already. Had the film been filmed when intended and not delayed, I think his performance would have come across better

The other kids and the pirates were super fun too, but not really given a lot to do either, which is sad. Would have loved to see more of Jim Gaffigan as Smee though

Yara Shahidi as Tinkerbell and Alyssa Wapanatahk as Tiger Lily were also amazing and big standouts, shoutout to them both!

Mentioned this above but will mention it again: I don’t understand what the point of casting a separate actor to play Mr Darling was. Yes, as I mentioned, there’s the dual casting thing - but also Mr Darling was in this film so little that there was zero sense in hiring a whole other actor to do the part??? He’s literally got a total of like one and a half minutes screentime?!?

Putting the crocodile in just the one single time was a fucking crime, I tell you! Why was he only in one single scene?!? 🐊

The CGI wasn’t the worst I’ve seen but it definitely could have been a bit better

Here’s the thing: the original animation was 1h21 and this one is 1h46… and yet this one felt way more rushed for some reason? It’s like the film hits the basic plots, like ticking them off, but doesn’t actually embellish or explore them properly. It’s just so rushed and the film suffers for it

I truly think this film would have benefited from letting us get to know the Darling children even better at the beginning before Peter arrived, because the most developed of the three is Wendy and all we know about her is she’s going to boarding school and her parents want her to be a better role model/set a better example for her brothers. All we know about John and Michael is that they’re Wendy’s brothers and they like to play fight - they don’t really feel like proper characters, they’re literally just there

I’m still waiting for a Peter Pan adaptation to just bite the bullet and give us that flash forward of Peter visiting an older Wendy, meeting Jane and taking Jane to Neverland - the 2003 version did film it but it’s deleted and the special effects aren’t done on it (you can watch it online but still)

I want to know where in Barrie’s text it says Wendy wanted to become an airplane pilot or that she actually fulfilled that ambition… ?!?!

The soundtrack was good - not the masterpiece that James Newton Howard’s is but still pretty good

Overall, I’d give it a 6/10 maybe. It wasn’t the worst Pan movie or adaptation out there but it’s not the best either, at least in my opinion. It IS one of the better Disney remakes though, and if it had been a bit longer and had a better budget then I’d say it should have had a theatrical release because the cinematography is STUNNING. It’s just that it very much feels like they rushed the story and had a smaller budget than hoped for.

#peter pan #peter pan and wendy #disney #peter pan remake #wendy darling #captain hook #james hook #alexander molony #ever anderson #jude law

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sl33py-day · 1 year

Text

A good title

Tw: Stalking and talks about what to do with a dead body.

Teyvat university, a very popular college that is hard to get into. Luckily for you your aunt goes there and got you in somehow. Don’t know how but she did. You’ve been in Teyvat Uni for a week or two and noticed a few things.

The Mondstadt building was the green colored one. That was also surrounded by many flowers. But had many short people and a dorm leader who drinks……weed wine. The Liyue building was a gold like color that many others thought only the richest people could be there. But alas they had a dorm leader who doesn’t want to be dorm leader. The Inazuma building was purple but was know to be the strictest building of all the dorms. It always seems like they’re at war with the dorm leader. Sometimes people would walk in the building just to see people behind cardboard walls with nerf guns. The Sumeru one was really pretty it was green also but the only difference was the Sumeru building had more flowers then Mondstadt. They were known to have the smartest people in all of Teyvat University.

That’s what you noticed about the buildings the students however. All you can say about them is there’s a verity of different personalities. Like a short purple haired dog and a pair of twins that were separated but found each other on a bus.

The twins were your friends along with a few others. You walked out of your dorm to see a very smiley Aether. As soon as you opened the door he jumped on you to hug you.

“Good morning Aether. How are you doing?” You ask as he got off so you could grab you bag. He started to say how Lumine was getting on him about eating her donuts. You nodded as you walk down the dorm hallway.

“When I told her it was probably Paimon she said Paimon doesn’t eat that kind of donuts!” He slightly yelled in annoyance about his adoptive sister paimon who’s 5 years old. You know paimon goes to the Teyvat daycare across the street and visits the twins every so often. Which is cute to you because she’s all happy when she sees you.

As you two talked your phone went off with a loud sound. Taking the loud device out of your bag you saw that the caller ID has been the same one that has called you for sometime. You know you should’ve blocked the number but you kept forgetting. The weird thing about the calls is it happens every month.

“Hm? Who’s that?” Aether asks as he tries to see who it was. Quickly putting the phone back away so you could face Aether. You smiled softly at him which caused a small blush to appear on his face.

“It’s nothing, just a spam call.” He just nodded. The two of you were getting close to the main building where the classes took place. While you two were walking someone called out to you.

“Hey! Aether! Y/n!” A loud feminine voice called out causing you both to turn around. You saw your three friends. Venti, the dorm leader of Mondstadt, Kazuha, one of the people who doesn’t go to war in Inazuma, and albedo, who is another person from mondstadt.

“Hello! You two ready for class?” You ask not noticing that Aether went deadly quiet. He stood behind you so you wouldn’t see his glare at Kazuha. After all of you were done talking it was class time.

It was now lunch time and you had an hour to spar. Deciding that you were gonna go talk with Kazuha. Fun Fact! You had developed a crush on him. It’s a sad thing that you didn’t realize a few other peoples crush on you though.

So you called Kazuha an told him if he wanted to hang out with you. He said yes and you were really happy.

During the hangout with the quiet boy a few others joined in. Those being Venti, Aether, Xiao and Amber. While you were talking with the five you got a call from the same number from this morning. Suddenly you got an idea.

“Hey guys,” you called out causing everyone to be quiet. “Do you want to traumatize a random scammer?” Everyone’s eyes sparkled with that idea but Xiao quickly asked “How are we going to do that?”

“Pretend where in a cult! The Demonic core cult! Imma call the scammer who’s been calling me while you guys pretend to have killed somebody.” After you said that they all agreed and with that you began to start the call.

“Hello, thank you for calling the Demon core cult. Sadly you called at the wrong time.” You spoke with a gentle voice while the phone was on speaker.

“Did you hide the body?” Aether asked Venti who was drinking some apple juice. “No, I thought Sam did.” He said while looking at Xiao. The teal haired man looked at him in shock.

“Of course I didn’t hid the body! The corpse is still here!” Xiao yelled at Venti who shrugged in response.

“We can ask Milly to do it.” Aether spoke up and every one looked at amber who was trying not to laugh.

“Nah, Milly is taking a break for a while.” Venti spoke up still drink apple juice.

“SO WHOS GONNA HIDE THE BODY! I KNEW SACRIFICING SOMEONE RIGHT NOW WAS A BAD IDEA!” Aether yelled out in fake anger. Kazuha decided to talk with a quiet voice.

“Hey boss, what should we do with the dead body?” Kazuha asked you while everyone was screaming in the background about what to do with the fake dead body.

“Get Jermey he’s the one that does it anyways. So sorry but you called at the wrong time Good Bye!” With that you ended the call then the group became silent. Only to burst in laughter seconds later. Even Xiao was smiling a little.

The caller though? He’s not one bit surprised he knew that would be something you would do. He’s been following you for a while now only getting the idea to call you after he got your number.

He’s happy that you answered and not ignored the call. But very annoyed that there were other people with you and not you alone.

Maybe he would get the courage to finally talk to you. You guys do have the same math class.

#yandere genshin impact #genshin impact modern au #Yandere Aether #Yandere venti #Yandere Xiao #Yandere Amber #yandere kazuha #Male reader #gender neutral reader #yandere genshin x reader

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fromriches-tosin · 2 months

Note

Fun fact: It's-40°F where I live rn. I'm dying inside haha. Can I get some warm fluffy Reijean from you perhaps? Haha

-40?!?!

My dear friend, the newest chapter of Battle Tendency has some fluff, but it will not suffice, I'm afraid.

Today I was thinking about the ReiJean Cowboy AU, naturally, since we had been blessed with that gorgeous art this week. And hear me out:

Outlaw!Jean and Sheriff!Reiner go a long way back. Their history is one of violence, and blood spilled both fairly and unfairly. Of deception and mutual distrust. Of hatred and... fascination.

Jean might be a criminal, but he's not the worst guy out there. He has a code of sorts, a few simple rules he follows in order to make a living and don't overexert himself too much. He's not too fond of killing but also isn't afraid to get his hands dirty when the job calls for it. He's usually flying solo now that Reiner has caught his best buddy and sent him to a prison far, far away, but that’s okay. He will have Braun's balls for it one day.

And Sheriff Braun himself isn't really that bad, either. He could have had Jean's friend hanged but decided to spare him for reasons unknown. Perhaps Jean even feels a little bit indebted to him because of that. Reiner could have shot Jean a few times, too, but let him off with just a warning instead. And perhaps Jean warned him when some gang was about to raid Reiner's town or when an especially dangerous individual was around. Perhaps he eventually became Reiner's main informant.

It's not that Jean is afraid of competition, you see, he just... enjoys the status quo. He and Reiner have an unspoken deal, a partnership of sorts thanks to which Reiner can protect his town, and Jean can be free. But nothing ever lasts forever, right?

Having learned about what he was up to, Jean’s bandit community turns on him and decides to have him killed. Jean is ambushed at night, somewhere on the plains, and shot three times. Two of the bullets just graze him, but the third one gets stuck in his thigh. He narrowly escapes with his life but he’s in need of urgent medical attention; one he cannot afford both for financial and practical reasons. If he walked into a hospital, he would get arrested.

So, if the law is to come for him anyway, why not meet it half-way? Jean turns up on Reiner’s farm. The Sheriff is living just outside of the town, in the company of three large dogs that start barking and howling as soon as Jean falls off his horse several meters away from Braun’s property. Reiner walks out of the house with a rifle, and for a brief moment Jean thinks that perhaps he’ll just finish what the others started, but Reiner clearly has other ideas.

He helps Jean up and gets him inside the house.

“What happened?” he asks in a gruff voice, putting Jean’s beloved hat aside and taking a closer look at his injured leg.

Here’s a funny thing. Jean and Reiner met many times before. But they never really… talked. Sure, they exchanged some insults, short sentences and playful jabs, but mostly they just stared at each other.

Jean tells Reiner the truth, hoping the intel on the other outlaws will secure him a comfortable prison cell, but Reiner just glares at him in a way that makes Jean shut up mid-sentence. No one has managed that before.

“You’re not going back there,” Braun informs him after he has already destroyed Jean’s pants, cleaned his wound and dug out the bullet from his trembling thigh.

“What?” Jean hisses, trying to drown the pain in the same alcohol Reiner bathed his leg in.

“You’re not going back to where you came from.”

“Here’s to hoping you’ll at least send me to the same prison my friend is in,” Jean grumbles and drinks some more.

(Still there? We’re getting to fluff, I swear)

Reiner glares at him again. He doesn’t cauterize Jean’s wound like Jean expected him to, but instead he carefully sews it shut – making Jean moan and bitch in the process but leaving his leg in a pretty decent shape, all things considered.

Jean gets new clothes and almost a piggyback ride up the stairs. The Sheriff’s bedroom smells and looks surprisingly clean. When he helps Jean lie down, Jean has an impression Reiner himself doesn’t really sleep here. It all seems so… untouched.

“Stay?” he asks in a drunken stupor, holding onto Braun’s sleeve and hoping to turn it into a joke in the morning. “The nights are cold out here.”

The mattress makes a squeaking sound when Reiner gets into the bed – it’s large enough for both of them to lie comfortably and without any physical contact, but Jean is drunk and wants physical contact. There are photos on the bedside table, photos of a lady with blonde hair and a stern look on her face. She seems familiar enough, so Jean decides it must be Reiner’s mother. Perhaps the bedroom belonged to her.

It seems Reiner craves physical contact as much as Jean because he moves closer to him, close enough to be able to brush the hair out of his eyes.

“You need a bath,” he says, and Jean snorts.

“I need a lawyer.”

“I’m not sending you to prison.”

“No?”

“The nights are cold out here, you said so yourself.” Reiner wraps his arms around him, and Jean hums in response. “You’ve come to me of your own volition, so you’re staying.”

The moonlight is getting inside through the big window, falling on the star badge Reiner left on the table. Braun’s nose is buried in Jean’s longish hair, his heavy hand resting just below the bandages on his thigh.

“They’ll kill you if you go back.”

Jean knows that. He didn’t help his case by escaping into the arms of the same man he had been accused of conspiring with.

“I’ll keep you safe.”

Reiner’s deep voice is slowly lulling him to sleep, the weight of the old feather duvet holding him down. There’s a combined smell of soap and wax in the air, and Jean can’t stop himself – he reaches for Braun’s face and runs his fingertips over the stubble on his cheeks.

“Okay,” he says.

He’s drunk. And in pain. And not that young anymore. Maybe he can settle down on a nice little farm in the middle of nowhere and try to befriend Reiner’s dogs.

“Okay. Sleep.”

Braun’s lips brush against his fingers.

Jean feels naked without his gloves, even more so than without his pants. But he also feels good and comfortable, hidden under the covers and additional blankets, and with Reiner’s large frame as an extra source of warmth.

He almost purrs, pressing his forehead against Braun's and smiling at him sleepily. Reiner smiles back.

“That’s it. I’ve always wanted to tame a stray cat.”

#thanks for the ask ✨#reijean #reiner x jean #veecanons #jean kirstein #jean kirschtein #reiner braun

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3d-wifey · 5 months

Note

can i get a list of your favorite lines you've written for And they'd find us in a week?" (posted or otherwise)

You added in my dms that you meant my fav lines in each chapter and sure!!!! but it's gonna be longggg and it'll only get longer. I'll stick to posted chapters so I can avoid spoiling anything and add to this post as I post more chapters! Feel free to send in your own fav lines, I'd love to know!!!!

Chapter 1

A few of these flowers are shipped to the Capitol to be used aesthetically, you’re sure. Such an odd thought knowing the rest are used here only for funerals.

Something neither of you had any real hope of happening, but you understood the gesture for what it was. He wanted you to bring him back to his family. So you protected it with your life, literally. And now he’s home.

A breeze comes through, shaking the leaves in the tree and cooling you from the humid heat. You like to think that it’s Cane’s way of thanking you for not forgetting him.

They mock your voice, clapping like you’re a dog that did a trick. You smile around the embarrassment. Maybe for your next act, you’ll play dead.

You remind yourself to make a conscious effort to bury the accent, sound a little more like them. The old you wouldn’t give a damn about how a Capitol perceives you, but the old you didn’t get pawed at nearly as much as you have tonight.

As a warning, you swung your scythe in wide arches, but he ran at you and the blade slit his stomach open. You think he did it on purpose, knowing how it would end for him. You put him out of his misery with his own knife.

“Have you been having fun?” He picks, certainly nonexistent, lint off the shoulder of your dress. Is your eye twitching? It has to be. You want to place a hand on it to tamp down the spasms, but, instead, your nails dig into his shoulder through his suit jacket.

“What? Are you not enjoying your time in our great nation's capitol?” He deadpans. Your mouth tries to twitch into a smirk and you smother it down.

You suppose no amount of muscle can combat an axe to the back of the spine.

“Touché.” He concedes with a nod, his smile still in place. Or at least you think he does. You aren’t entirely sure what touché means.

"So, you do know who I am." His lips shift into a shit-eating grin, preening as if he caught you in a lie. He’s probably used to people fawning over him, and that’s something you’d never do. Be that as it may, you can acknowledge that there might be something worth fawning over.

He tilts his head with contemplatively narrowed eyes. You narrow your eyes right back simply based on the fact that he did it first.

This, being with Finnick, is a breath of fresh air in comparison. He may not be Eleven or from any other district that’s similar to yours, but he is District. That’s gotta be worth something—some kind of kinship.

Chapter 2

You had tried to listen closely when he first started talking, but—well, okay, that’s a lie. Everything these Capitols say goes in one ear and out the other. Actually, it doesn’t even make it as far as the first ear.

“Finn!” Thank god. “I’ve been looking all over for you.” You exclaim in the most sickeningly saccharine Capitol voice you can muster. He stares with wide blue-green eyes, bemusedly mouthing ‘Finn?’ at you.

You only have a few seconds to wonder what the hell an eel is before Finnick takes your glass out of your hand and hands it over to the sputtering man.

That is a good question. One with an answer Finnick doesn’t want to look too closely at, though it might—scratch that, it definitely has something to do with your big watery eyes staring up at him ingenuously.

So maybe, he lets himself think, maybe you’re safe.

There's a small, prideful grin on your face that he doubts you even know is there. But he does. He is very aware of it.

You tilt your head, smiling up at him and his ears go warm. This is probably the fifth time he's talked to you and you've never smiled at him like that before.

You pout up at him and it’s the most unfair shit Finnick’s ever seen. Made even worse by the fact that you’re defending him. To himself.

Someone unburdened with the fact that Snow was right, they are more similar than he'd like to admit. Because Seeder may have a family that relies on her, but Finnick can't find it in himself to care. He'd put her in the arena himself if it meant your safety.

Chapter 3

As you sit in front of President Snow, you can't help but be reminded of that coyote.

There are dozens of white roses around you, tucked inside vases on any available surface. Almost innocent if not for their cloying scent. It gives you a headache. You’ve never seen so many roses outside of a funeral.

“I want to explain something to you, my dear, in a way you’ll understand. Imagine a wolf wanders onto your farm—you know what a wolf is, yes? This wolf hasn’t killed any of your cattle, but it has the potential to. Now, you could always get rid of the wolf, kill it, but that’s only a temporary solution. There will always be other wolves.” He scolds you as if you were the one to suggest it and not him. “Why go through the effort of killing it, when you can tame it—give the wolf a bone, so to speak. You earn its loyalty and it protects the cattle from other predators.” You aren’t sure you really follow what he’s trying to say. Are you the wolf? The cattle? You certainly don’t own the farm.

“I am in the business of making wolves happy. And something that'll make them very happy is you.”

You’d rather take your chances with the predators in the woods than the ones in the Capitol.

“Wolf, meet bone."

He's going to whore you out to the highest bidder. No, he's giving your body away like a party favor.

But they're just objects. The only thing that can hurt you here is Snow.

What more does he want from you? He’s practically squeezing a stone, expecting blood, but can’t he see you have nothing left for him to take? But there’s something Snow knows that you haven’t considered. If you squeeze a rock hard enough, you get diamonds.

"What's got you pouting, beautiful?" He teases, approaching you with a good-natured smile.

You’re so far from your natural habitat and there’s safety in numbers. Though, you guess you’ve never really left the forest, have you? The same rules apply in the Capitol as they do in the wilderness: blend into your surroundings and if a predator spots you, pray to God they lose interest.

You want to confide in him more than anything, but you need to be sure that Finnick won't trade your secret for another.

You've talked to Finnick a handful of times and only had two meaningful conversations that didn't involve either of you flirting. By all means, you shouldn't trust him. But you do. You really do.

There are too many ears out there and the only people that walk down this hall are Avoxes. And it's not like they can tell anyone what they hear.

“Snow…” You trail off, losing steam fast. Finnick stiffens, his grip on your shoulder as tight as a corpse’s.

“What did Snow do?”

"Finnick, are you...?" Your voice peters out lamely, unable to put words to what Snow is making you do, what you suspect he's been making Finnick do.

"Only a select few in Snow's private circle could indulge in my services at first. But once I hit sixteen," he shrugs with a mean smile, "I was fair game." Of course. You had thought Finnick was handsome when he first won, in that passing way thirteen-year-olds often thought of others. Obviously, it was a shared consensus.

"Who else is he forcing to do this?" … "You, me, and any other attractive victor with something to lose."

You reach forward, using your thumb to pull his lip away from his teeth. He looks between your eyes for a second and you drop your hand. "Hoped what, Finnick?"

He clenches and unclenches his jaw. "I hoped you were safe."

“Advice,” he laughs, short and brittle, “Yeah. Just…breathe and endure. It’s all any of us can really do.” His voice is angry, but his eyes are mournful. That’s definitely not the kind of advice you wanted to hear and you can tell it’s obviously not the kind he wants to give. But what were you expecting, some kind of miracle cure? That’s not the way this works.

It's different now. He's older and wiser, and he does still hate her, but no more than he hates every other Capitol. He tunes her out and tries to remember if he's had sex with her.

Finnick is a good actor. Maybe not the best, but he's certainly up there. Not many people could see through his veneer. It's fragile, cracks and instability on display to anyone who truly knows him—and even then, that's only three people.

It's an odd dichotomy to see something you love on something you hate.

Your mother lets out a shrill, throat-shredding scream, her voice only elevated by the silence surrounding it. This will be the last thing you hear from her.

But—you don't have to win. No one expects you to win and that...that thought is relieving. You aren't planning on rolling over in the arena and letting someone get a free kill, but this is something Snow won't be able to work around. No matter how hard he tries, he can't manipulate the outcome of the games. And he'll have no one to blame but himself, no one to punish. It's cowardice, in a way, but you're tired. And you think you've been tired for a long time now. You'd be stupid not to take this ticket out.

Most eyes pity you. You're essentially volunteering yourself to put your head under the executioner's sword. However, some eyes envy you. You're leaving Eleven. For good. For many of the citizens, death is a small price to pay for freedom. But there’s something else, something everyone in the crowd shares. There’s anger, a righteous fury in every face you see.

Is this the view your dad had? Are these the faces he saw before he was lynched?

There'll be many victors facing the guillotine, many of your friends forced into a death march.

You look to the sky, a quick glance before you're ushered to the train. It's a sunny day with plump white clouds on a baby blue backdrop. It might be the last time you see the real sky as a free woman. Calm and beautiful despite the carnage happening under it.

Chapter 4

That Avox is taking a piece of you, red smeared on white, and it'll be washed away. Absently, as if through water, you hear the door shut and you're scared that you'll never be whole again.

Your first instinct is to find somewhere to curl up, but the bed is out of the question. Logically, you know it's clean, you saw it happen. But it feels like a crime scene, like something died there.

The door doesn't look much different from your own. You don't know what else you were expecting.

You don't know if you've ever made a choice that wasn't out of necessity and you find that you want Finnick to comfort you.

It slides open to reveal Finnick with his sweatpants hanging low on his waist, his hair a mess, and his face painted in exhaustion. You can't help but think he looks awfully soft. Softer than you ever thought you'd see him.

"I don't know why I thought you'd be awake. I guess I just assumed...," You shake your head, having no excuse other than wanting to be near him, "I don't know what I assumed. I should get back to my room. I'm really sorry for waking—" "Wait," he calls out as you start to back away, "You can come in, we can–I don't know, we can talk." He generously offers, sounding almost nervous. But what about you would ever make him nervous?

Sleeping in Finnick's bed after everything somehow feels worse than sleeping on your own. Because it may be a crime scene, but at least it's your crime. It feels almost disrespectful to sleep where something of Finnick's died too.

If you were a star, burning bright miles and miles away, nothing could touch you. Not the memories that haunt you, not Snow, not your clients. Nothing.

Your eyes widen and you don't know what to say. There's a certain level of repulsive irony with the person who guaranteed your survival being the first person to treat you as something less than human. If this is how you feel now, you can't even imagine how Finnick must have felt. Fourteen and alone. At least you have someone to lean on, someone who's going through the same thing you are. All he had was himself. But he has you now.

"Don't downplay what you've gone through, Finnick. You don't have to put yourself down for me," You face him head-on so he knows you mean it, "You shouldn't put yourself down for anyone." He looks up at you again, but this time he doesn't look away. There's no point in playing a game of 'who has it worse'. That's not what you came here for.

How can he be expected to save you when he never saved himself? You're sure he knows there's no magic fix to this. But that's an answer you know he won't accept. Because…because he cares about you, he said so himself. He wants to take your pain, but it’s not transactional. Besides, even if it was, you wouldn’t want him to take it all upon himself. This pain is not transferable, this pain is yours to share. You’ll keep a hand on his wound if he keeps a hand on yours.

Maybe you can staunch the bleeding together.

"I'm sorry...I know me saying that doesn't make much of a difference, but I am." He's wrong. He has nothing to be sorry for, but the apology softens you. You scoot closer to him and rest your head on his shoulder. "Me too," you whisper. He hesitates before laying his head on yours, "I'm sorry, too." You hear a sniff above you, but you don't comment on it. You just let go of his pinky and lace your fingers together instead. His palm is rough against your own and it grounds you. When you're down here, pressed against Finnick's side, you're okay with not being a star.

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe someone about yay high," he raises his hand about an inch above his head. Then, flips his hair over his shoulder dramatically, "Blond, built like a Greek god."

He's what you imagine having an older, older brother might be like. As such, it feels more than a little awkward whining about your pitiful love life, or lack thereof, to him. "Me and Finnick," you say, and, like the gossip he is, he hangs on to your every word, "There is no me and Finnick." Anymore.

"I'd imagine it's the same reason Peeta volunteered for you." He exhales through his nose like he doesn't want a reminder of what happened only a handful of hours earlier.

You aren't surprised, in all honesty. Looking back on it now, it’s odd to think Snow was right when he said he did you a favor. Because you’ve gathered secrets of your own. Morsels of information that you've coveted like rubies, plucked from the mouths of your high society clientele.

That entire inner monologue in 4 where you think about Rue and Thresh. Honestly makes me tear up everytime AND I WROTE IT.

And maybe, just maybe, it would mean they didn’t die in vain. All of your kids that you watched march to their deaths—their deaths that would mean something. Leading you all to this very moment. "Alright." You decide, as if there was ever any other option for you. Insurgency is in your veins. Your father was a part of the Movement like his father before him and his father before him. It’s what got him killed. And it seems like it’ll do the same for you.

Maybe you're a little dense, but you don't see how that proves that District Thirteen wasn't nuked to hell and back. Some of that skepticism must show on your face because he sighs and sets his glass back down.

You ask. You already have in mind who you hope will be on your side. You think of callused hands and soft green eyes and wonder if you could ever raise a weapon against him in the name of the rebellion.

Friends isn't the word you'd use, but it's hard not to form a sense of solidarity with the person you often get requested to have threesomes with.

"With love, huh." He whispers to himself and smiles.

And you gave them freely, even after Finnick ran out of ones to trade. It’s odd. You wanted nothing in return. Sometimes, he gets a little ahead of himself and wonders if it’s because you like him.

It isn’t too far-fetched to assume that, right? Right.

To just call you a friend feels like calling an ocean a pond. It's almost disrespectful to condense it into something so lacking. He can’t force you, and everything you make him feel—into such a small box, it would only overflow and drown him. You are much, much more than a pond.

Best friend, then? While true, it feels too juvenile. He considers it and he doesn't particularly like the idea of just being your friend anyway. He imagines you introducing him as such.

“Oh, and this is Finnick. My friend. Only my friend.”

No. No, he doesn’t like that at all.

"Do you think she'll like it?" He asks her. He wants to bite at his nails as she looks over what he made, but refrains.

'She'll love it. :)" She writes and he hopes she’s right.

He can't help but find joy in the fact that he still knows you well enough to predict what you'll do. And he'll get to see you again. Really see you. He shouldn't be happy about that under these circumstances, but Finnick is under no illusion of being a good person.

"Kid, I don't wanna say this is sad, but it's not, not sad." Finnick rolls his eyes at Haymitch's unwelcome opinion. Should he be embarrassed to be caught in this position? Maybe. Probably. Yeah, he definitely should be. But he gave up his shame a long time ago.

"You sure?" He leans his head on the hand that's propped up on the arm of the chair, "Not even a certain someone from Eleven? What was that nickname you gave her—Star, right?" He asks with that same tone he always used to take on when teasing Finnick about you.

When he started turning away his clients' money, they were desperate to pay him atonement so their consciences wouldn't be weighed down by their sins. You came up with the idea. Money wasn't worth its salt to a victor. But secrets? Secrets were cashed in gold.

"You can't have fire without air, right?" He asks rhetorically. "Well, we won't have Katniss without Peeta. She won't help us without him."

And just like that, whatever illusion of choice Finnick thought he had is stripped away with the mention of you. Every path he takes leads back to you. What a heartening thought.

Abruptly, he gets a faint whiff of your scent caught in his head like a flashback. Hovering in his nostrils as faint as a memory. It is a memory. But if he goes through with this, maybe it doesn't have to stay one.

Freedom looks like being by your side, loving you fearlessly. Finnick's never felt true freedom before—the closest he's ever gotten to it was when you touched him. He doubts it can feel much better than that.

Chapter 6

You squeeze his hand. He squeezes back.

You say nothing to him as you edge out of the crowd and he supposes you don’t owe him an explanation, but it leaves a pit in his stomach to watch you walk away.

“Oh. Hey?” It comes out as more of a question than a statement, the letters curling and drawing out at the end like he’s just discovered the human language.

“Ah, there’s the blushing bride!” Haymitch half shouts—half cackles, halfway into a bottle of expensive Capitol wine. He ignores them, which only makes them crack up harder. Finnick is nineteen years old, and as they laugh behind him, he actually feels his age for once.

You take a step back from him. He didn’t even notice when he got so close and gravitated to you, he never does.

“I don’t understand. Wh–what’s wrong?” Because there’s definitely something wrong. Your body language is closed off. You’re never closed off around him.

“Do you feel like you’re settling?” He asks, doing, in his opinion, a pretty good job of acting like his heart isn’t hinging on your answer.

“What?! What, of course not.” You look at him like he grew a second head. As if his question isn't completely reasonable given how you're behaving.

The big green chair is the backdrop behind you, and it really is an enormous chair.

There’s nothing quite like being paraded before crowds of adoring fans while dressed in a caricature of your district.

You joke, but you really wish you were at least given some kind of underwear. It’s not exactly warm in here and that draft is reaching places it shouldn’t.

If you make any sharp movements, you’ll be flashing your ass to all of Panem.

He makes to lean against the horse but thinks better of it when she scuffs one of her hooves on the ground rather threateningly.

Your and Katniss’s whole convo by the chariots

There’s a fishnet draped across his torso and knotted low around his hips similar to how your skirt is tied. It’s very thin, with very spacious holes.

Your tongue will always remember the shape of his name, but you’ve forgotten the taste of it. It’s bittersweet.

Chapter 7

He nods over your shoulder to Caesar, who’s looking especially orange today.

They have him in the closest thing to a suit that he’ll tolerate and his blond hair is artfully coiffed. You miss how it falls naturally, and you’re sure he feels the same. The makeup they put on you makes you feel like a mannequin. Stiff and shiny, just the way they like you.

You and Finnick smile and greet the masses like you were trained to. You wave your hand open and closed, and Finnick doesn’t wave at all, instead nodding to the crowd.

He doesn’t ask a question outright, but you understand what he wants you to answer. What a pitiful beast you are. What else about you can we feel sorry for?

“Very sad, very sad indeed,” the room fills with sympathetic murmurs that make your eye twitch. You don’t need their pity, pity won’t bring him back. Pity won’t stop it from happening to someone else. If they used that same pity to stop injustices before they happened, then maybe these people would actually be worth something, “Alright, let’s get into some games, huh? Yeah!”

A clock ticks ominously behind you, probably a new fixture. It bluntly cuts the silence. You would have noticed that before. You think.

“My colleagues speak very highly of you.” He pulls a white handkerchief up to his mouth and coughs into it. It’s a wet, violent cough that rocks him in his seat. It must hurt and you know without a doubt that the white of the fabric is blood red now. Good. Hopefully, he’ll cough up a lung soon enough. He dabs at his mouth before pulling it back to his lap, almost like he’s hiding it. “You should be proud of yourself. I certainly am.”

“Come now.” His smile stretches across his face like a coyote’s, though it’s twice as sharp. You bite at the skin of your peeling bottom lip. “You’re a smart girl. You should be able to infer what’s happening without my telling you.” You do. You had just hoped you misunderstood, that you were being overly paranoid. After all, you have an intimate relationship with hunger, and not just your own. You’ve seen that look before, more times than you can count. On the faces of particularly crooked Peacekeepers, handsy landowners, and ‘well-meaning’ teachers. And now you see it again on the face of your President.

They all have something in common: they thought they were above you and your savagery. They thought you were some animal, that you should feel lucky that they even looked your way.

So distinguished, so self-important, and, yet, they lust after an animal like you? And you’re supposed to be the savage one? You wish you could enjoy the irony.

There’s a smell emitting from him. A smell you’ve only smelt in rotting animals: decay. The rose in his pocket and the roses around the room can only cover so much. It’s the poison, it has to be. All the poison he drank while getting rid of his political rivals has finally come back to reap its judgment. He’s decomposing from the inside out. The consequence of having so much power, it seems.

It doesn’t matter how much makeup or what kind of dress you put on a pig. At the end of the day, it’s still a dirty, stinking pig. You just hope, when the day comes, you’ll be around to see this pig get gutted.

From this high up you can hardly hear yourself think, finally. But barely, just barely, you can make out Finnick’s voice. You’ll always be able to recognize that voice. The sound is almost as much of a part of you as it is of him.

You’re whole and solid in his grip. You’re safe. God, you’re safe.

Neither of you speaks. Which is fine. There’s no space for words between your bodies anyway.

You barely duck in time to avoid the staff from hitting your head and Finnick’s grip on the trident tightens.

For as long as Johanna has known him, she’s known him in conjunction with you. There’s no point in acting like that’s changed.

“Good luck.” She pats him on the back with far more force than necessary and walks off with an axe in hand. Probably on her way to traumatize a trainer.

“Besides, if they’re listening in on anyone, it’s Princess and the Baker over there.”

Dear Finn,

If you ever fear the weight of my absence—close your eyes, take a breath, and feel me beside you. I’m still here.

-Faithfully,

Your Star.

Chapter 8

Actually, just all of 8 and 9. From beginning to end.

Chapter 10

They make sure to teach all about it in school, making sure students know just how far their district fell. Once a powerhouse worthy of rubbing shoulders with the best of them stands one of the most ‘primitive’ and militarized districts in the nation.

You remember what it feels like to be hungry. To be forced into the orchards to harvest pears, apricots, and Mandarin oranges—some of the only crops that can weather the cold, small hands stiff and your stomach numb with pain as you endured the freezing winds. You had friends when you were younger, other children that worked alongside you. Very few of them survived through the winter.

You have a system in place. You’ve been doing these deliveries for a long time. You trust them to distribute the goods to those who need them the most. Everyone here looks out for each other. Even if the kids aren’t theirs, an adult won’t let them go hungry if they can help it. It truly takes a village. You would know. After all, you used to live here.

What use is a horse with a broken leg?

“And you,” you lean back as she wags her finger in your face, “inherited that mouth from your daddy. It’s gonna get you in trouble one day.”

“Just start looking out for yourself more, alright?” She asks and you agree with a scowl, you refuse to call it a pout though Finnick definitely would.

You try to picture a world where the two of you ended up together, running the bakery until you’re old and gray—maybe if you hadn’t been reaped. But you can’t imagine a universe where you aren’t in love with Finnick Odair.

Seeing him sitting behind your big mahogany desk is akin to seeing a fox in a chicken coop. It’s dangerous—foreboding. Nothing good can come from it. And for him to be so comfortable in the spot where you write your letters to Finnick makes your skin crawl. It’s wrong. He shouldn’t be here, in the one place that's truly yours.

Under the weight of his unrelenting stare, you eventually shake your head no and it feels like admitting defeat. Like you’re not smart enough to catch on to his train of thought and you both know it.

“Of course, you don’t.” He tsks, disappointed. You lower your gaze, embarrassed. He stands and takes poised, measured steps to where your feet are rooted to the floor. He towers over you, literally and figuratively.

"You have mail." He smiles again, sharp and cruel in its kindness. It's still sealed, held between his middle and pointer finger, but you're certain he knows what the letter says already.

I got the picture you sent me. I worry I’ll wear it thin with how often I touch it. In the absence of having you near me, I trace the slope of your nose, the curve of your lips, the slant of your eyes. I carry you everywhere I go.

My hands should be in yours, fingers laced together. Instead, I use them to write to you now.

He glances behind him and spots the biggest fishing boat in the district. The Cod Be Ever in Your Favor. He scoffs.

He’s crossing his fingers that the old relic capsizes one day. He’s not hoping anyone gets hurt or anything, but he will be celebrating the day that hunk of junk gets turned into scrap metal.

He pauses, taking a few steps back to see…President Snow sitting on his couch?

“No, Sir, I don’t.” He lies, but he’s sure Snow will give him his own twisted, convoluted reason. Finnick is well aware that Snow enforces this rule because it keeps the citizens ignorant. Ensuring they only really know about their district means there can be no real unionizing.

Snow releases a raspy breath that might have been a laugh once upon a time and the water is getting hotter.

"Don't act daft, Mr. Odair. It doesn't suit you."

He's twenty-two years old—a grown man, but, suddenly, he’s fourteen again—sitting in that chair, backed against a wall as Snow forces him to sign his soul away. He’s still that scared kid. He’s never outgrown him, because he never got the chance to grow up. Not if Snow had any say in the matter.

“As I said, this can only end in pain. It’s up to you to decide who will end up bloody. The lives of thousands over the life of one. Surely, you understand that.” He doesn’t. Finnick doesn’t understand it at all. It doesn’t matter what the other option is, he’s picking you every time without fail. He can’t imagine doing otherwise, he doesn’t want to.

To love is to be human. To be human is to be flawed. And there’s no one more flawed than Finnick Odair.

“You’ve been around longer.” He shrugs as if it’s all so simple. “It only seems fair.” Fair. When the hell did he start caring about what’s fair? He didn’t even think that word was in Snow’s vocabulary, and, honestly, it still might not be because he isn’t using it right. There is nothing fair about this situation.

Snow uncrosses his legs and leans forward, a glint in his ghastly eyes. He looks worse every time he sees him and Finnick wishes he could get any satisfaction from it but he just feels as sick as Snow looks.

The words are out of his mouth before he can even comprehend them, mouth moving faster than his brain and by the time it catches up, it’s too late to snatch the words out of the air. They float between them and they are terrifying.

Snow nods at the idea and…and he realizes it’s over. It’s all over. It was over as soon as Finnick sat down across from him, maybe even before that.

“And Finnick?” He pulls away before Finnick can take it from him, playing with him even now. “Go easy on the poor girl. I imagine she’ll be quite torn up over this.” The water is boiling. The water is boiling and it’s too late to get out.

Chapter 11

I miss you, more than I was prepared to—and I was prepared to miss you considerably.

Tears are blurring his vision before he can read how you close the letter and he has to sit back as the full weight of what he’s about to do hits him all at once. Your words are like a balm to his soul, but they burn him just as much as they soothe him. A reminder of what he’s losing just as much as a reminder of what he’s fighting for. There was never a need to put a label on what you two had, what you were to each other, because it would never be replicated. It had always just been ‘yours’. Now, with a flick of his pen, it’ll be nothing.

Finnick’s letter

This doesn't make any sense. It doesn't line up with the Finnick you know.

You know what it feels like for your body to break. What it feels like to be drained down to your skin, nerves, muscles, and bones. You've come eerily close to knowing what it feels like to have your mind broken.

But this is new. This is what it feels like to have your heart broken. It's sudden, and it rips you apart on its way in. Not an arrow, but a knife. Quicker than you thought it'd be, but it hurts just the same.

You press your forehead into the desk, your body shaking with the sobs you’re holding back. It hurts so bad. Pain sitting rooted in your chest, sharp and rigid like a peach pit. Your heart doesn’t beat, it throbs. Throbs like a festering wound, irritated and infected.

You pull at your shirt and dig your nails into your chest. Maybe if you press hard enough through the skin and fascia and muscles you could pull out the problem.

But that’s impossible. There’s nothing there. It’s the absence that hurts, that gaping Finnick-shaped hole. You wanted to give him your heart, but not like this.

Here you sit in your study in your home that isn’t really yours, far away from any ocean, but you're drowning anyway.

You drown and you drown and you drown and you do it alone.

"My love, my star. My heart is yours. And…and if I had to pick a place to die, it would be in the warmth of your arms. Your smile, the last thing I see and your lips, the last thing I taste. Everything I have ever done, I have done for you.”

Caesar pouts at the audience as they coo at his love letter and he wishes they never heard it. He wishes he could have said it to you directly. Those words, they’re yours and they should have been for your ears only. And, yet, here he is, relaying his heart to you through a screen. Look how far we’ve fallen, Star.

You blow kisses to the crowd and they, understandably, go wild. You turn to Caesar with a smile and the overhead lights shine on you, painting your skin in soft lighting like a blanket. He takes a breath. And another, until he notices he’s breathing in sync with you.

"Oh, we all know just how shy you are." Caesar smiles, holding his laugh behind clenched teeth in that way of his that reminds Finnick of an overachieving beaver.

"Now, the last time we talked, you said you were composing a new piece." Caesar pulls a violin out from…somewhere behind him and presents it to you like a gift.

But every once in a while, you would compose a song for Finnick. And when it was just the two of you, you'd share it with him. He'd sit in front of you in awe as you played. He doesn't have a musical bone in his body, but he can hum every piece from memory.

He looks down, squeezing his eyes shut, nose scrunching as he fights back tears. Because as much as you may hate the instrument, you play it as if it's an extension of your body. And you've always been better at showing how you feel than saying it.

It sounds like a goodbye.

When you finish, it’s quiet before Caesar clears his throat and gives you a small smile that almost looks genuine.

Caesar pats your lower back and Finnick’s eyes narrow. “And you played beautifully.”

You hand the violin back with a watery smile and, fake or not, Finnick hates to see you cry.

Katniss spins and her wedding dress transforms in a flurry of fire before their eyes.

“Again with the fire.” He mutters under his breath.

The crowd is in awe as she spreads her wings, but he isn’t so easily cowed. Though, he might not be the target audience. Finnick’s never been particularly fond of birds, even if they are mockingjays.

He purses his lips around a growing smile, but he can’t hide it for long when the crowd starts shouting. That’s…that’s certainly one way to get the audience riled up. He catches the slight smirk on Peeta’s face as he watches the commotion he caused and Finnick’s a little jealous.

He hides the vindictive glee he feels at the riot breaking out in the name of the victors, but only barely. He would kill to see Snow's face right now.

How does it feel, he wonders, to see your people rebel in support of the savages you tried to paint us out to be?

“Stubborn.” He mutters as some of his fellow victors let him pass, glancing at him before continuing their conversations. But, as he’s said before, he’s just as stubborn as you. He racks his brain for something that’ll catch your attention before he loses what might be his last chance with you. “The message was for you!”

You pause at the entrance of the elevator at Finnick's shout. You're so close to getting away, so close. Your escape is a hair's breadth and a footstep away, but you remember how you felt sitting in your dressing room watching Finnick's interview. Was there a pang of jealousy over the possibility of the message being for someone else? God, it couldn't even be categorized as jealousy.

You look over your shoulder and his lungs stop constricting. He’s got you. Now, for the hardest part: keeping you.

Peeta dropped a baby bomb, and, somehow, this is the most dramatic thing to happen tonight.

“Finnick, this isn’t the time.” You glance between him and the floor, tracing the threading in his boots instead of the desperation in his eyes.

The entire elevator scene

Your dress flutters around your legs as you settle into a big green chair. That same giant green chair you sat in three years prior. You’ve both grown considerably since then. Just in two completely different directions. What a juxtaposition.

He nods, frantic and eager. He’s making headway. He honestly didn’t think you’d let him get this far. Your eyes widen when he drops down into a kneel before you smooth your face into a blank mask. “They’re all yours. And they’ll keep being yours even if you still hate me when I leave this room. Everything I’ve written since I met you has been for you.’’ He confesses, hands moving to grip the arms of your chair, but is it really a confession? The Capitols love his poetry because they adore the idea of Finnick Odair being devoted to them, longing for them and, for that, you’ve always been his inspiration.

“What did he want? What did he say to make you…” He watches you try to articulate your confusion. What led to this? What could have possibly been worth giving you up?

He doesn’t know what to do. Speechless doesn’t even cover it. His anger is there, and he doesn’t see that ever leaving him...but he’s been angry for so long and he’s been tired for even longer.

Of course. It all seems so fucking obvious now.

He shouldn’t be surprised by that. He shouldn’t be hurt by something he explicitly told you to do in his letter. Finnick shouldn’t be a lot of things that he is.

Your face twists like you’ve tasted something sour, something rotten.

And he's sorry, he's sorry, he's so sorry. He doesn't think there's enough air on the planet for him to tell you just how sorry he is.

I’d take that hurt from you if I could, he thinks. I’d grit my teeth through the pain and wear it proudly if it meant you’d have a moment of relief. He doesn’t say any of that. Instead, he says, "I'm sorry, Star." Because, really, what else is there to say? There’s no way to describe everything he’s sorry for.

“The song I played onstage. I wrote it after it all happened. Honestly, I couldn’t touch the violin without thinking of you, Finn. You were the only person I ever wanted to play for.” You whisper and it feels like he’s been punched in the stomach. Finnick’s taken by the sudden need to look in your eyes more than anything, to see and know you and be seen and known in return. He pulls back enough to look down at you.

#3d wifey talks #3d wifey answers #finnick odair #finnick odair x reader #hunger games catching fire #and they'd find us in a week #finnick odair fanfic #finnick fanfic #finnick #finnick x reader

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someuncreativity · 10 months

Text

Fuck it here’s part two of

My Ranking of How Quickly I’d Let These Fictional Men Rearrange My Organs

Still BotW/TotK edition because look at these men

You get the point, it’s gonna be hella NSFW because read the title

Oh but also this time I’m formatting the prompts like Stanzi Potenza’s “Animated Men I Would Sell My Body To At a Discount Price, The Discount Being Free Because I Would Never Make These Fine Gentlemen Pay For a Whore Like Me” series on YouTube

Cuz why not

But also this is just me thirsting after the most atrocious and/or attractive men in the Zelda universe

6. Master Kogha

This man may not be a fine dining experience, but he’s definitely worth your time for a banana or two.

A solid six-out-of-ten, the only thing that rivals your hatred for his superhero alter ego is his dad bod that puts furry artists on Twitter to shame.

They say that everything’s better with friends, and this man has a couple that would sweeten the deal, and as it happens, red spandex is absolutely up my alley.

A dork playing glorified dress-up doesn’t sound fun until his devotion to a demon king threatens an entire nation, and I am 100% here for it.

5. Revali

Fun fact, my favorite bird to eat is chicken, partially because I’m basic, but also because I could see myself sinking my canines into that cock.

His aim is im-peck-able, pun intended and unashamed, and he’s certain to get a bullseye into my heart.

I know he’s an egomaniac, but in the deep, dark, crevices of my mind, I know he’s mentally ruined. It’s the lifelong trauma and the “I can fix him” for me.

I love Rito clothing, especially since this man’s version of is the sluttiest thing on earth. After looking at him, I’m certain I’m not getting cold anytime soon.

He could treat me like the scum of the earth and I’d still be on all fours polishing his arrow free of charge. He’s like if a Disney prince realized he was a Disney prince.

4. Daruk

The only Goron I’d let pound me like a quarry, this man has warmed my heart like the fiery maw of his hometown’s tourist trap.

I could write a fifty-page essay about how this man’s kindness makes My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic look like more of a joke than it already is.

I know what I’ve said about Gorons literally crushing me to death, but as long as his words of encouragement are the last thing I hear as he erupts inside of me like Death Mountain, that’s all that really matters.

That loincloth isn’t doing much in the way of covering up his Boulder Breaker, and for that, I thank the weak fabric for its service to our nation. On the plus side, it’s white, so if he ever walks in the rain, that cloth’s purpose in life will have been fulfilled.

The fact that he has a grandson makes him not just a DILF but a GILF. In my opinion, fathers age like wine, so this is a win-win for me.

Combined with his white beard which resembles a mane more than facial hair, he’s like Santa if Santa was somehow both more and less cuddly at the same time.

And I know he’s afraid of dogs, but personally, that’s fine. I’m more of a cat person anyway.

3. Teba

Take everything I said about Revali and multiply it by the “white hair equals sexy” principle, and you have the new Rito chief.

I didn’t think it was possible to find anyone edgier than the spirit inside of the Master Sword, but here we are.

It is taking every ounce of my soul not to say “I can fix him” because clearly, I can’t and he doesn’t want me to.

. I would let him cry his heart out after nearly losing everything near and dear to him. There’s no shame, sweetie.

His wings are long, and I know of a few things that are longer. Given that he has procreated, it’s clear that the hot springs aren’t the only things that’ll be hot and steamy after a night with him.

Speaking of which, he’s a loving parent and a loving husband, which makes him a DILF, and let me tell you, the second that word becomes an adjective, the snow isn’t the only white thing covering the Hebra mountains.

If he could fly me into the skies, I would watch the sunset with him in silence as we realized the real magic was inside us all along or something like that. Whatever makes him happy, and yes, if he asks for it, that includes me swallowing a few of his bird eggs.

2. Tauro

Finally, a himbo the people can rely on.

We love seeing strong, partially-head-empty men being strong, partially-head-empty men.

Only I’m pretty sure this himbo is actually smart.

Idk I haven’t played enough or focused enough in Kakariko to find out lol

This man is investigating the ring ruins but he forgot about the ring he he to put on my finger.

He is giving “I’m going to save the world” and we love that. If you don’t, I see why- I did just say I liked villains- but I’m a double-sided coin.

Speaking of coins, flip one: head or tails? Which part of me is going to need to be replaced by Rauru? I don’t know, and quite frankly, I don’t care.

I personally have some depths for him to explore, and let me tell you, it’s gonna be the cave feeling his gloom infiltrate every orifice instead, and the cave will thank him.

His hair is giving the Hot Topic version of Melanie Martinez, and let me tell you, if I wasn’t a Crybaby, this man would have turned me.

I just love that every single Hylian around is taller than Link. I also love, however, that this man also towers over them too. Honestly, that makes things even better for me personally.

As long as Miss Papaya over there doesn’t realize that Link isn’t half the hero her grandma made him out to be, we won’t have problems. No worries here, chief, just doing some Zonai excavating.

1. King Dorephan

It’s known that this man singlehandedly defeated a Guardian, but judging by his measurements, all of which make the Empire State Building look like a stack of building blocks, it’s not hard to see how.

The leader of the Zora, this man is guaranteed to make any traveler feel right at home- hopefully, between the two logs he calls legs and the other two which he uses for other less savory deeds.

Not that I would mind, he could stretch my throat out to a time when the community will stop complaining about how the company keeps retconning the story with one and turn me into a make seahorse during conception with the other and I’d still have room. I have no shame.

If his son is a ten, he would have still been a ten before inflation.

You have to love a rich man with anatomically-correct shark organs. Jaws was really just my wake-up call after all, but not really because I like my men to talk dirty.

All I ask for in life is for this DILF to stretch me like taffy and squash me like a grape. Once that is achieved, I don’t care what Ganon does to Hyrule- I found my own sacred realm, thank you very much.

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zecretsanta · 4 months

Photo

to: @goggles-girl

from: @mortellanarts

prompt: Junpei and Akane decide to adopt a pet together (and it doesn’t come as naturally as they would like at first)

I also made a fic for this one! I feel like the first thing that would go wrong is that Akane wouldn’t be comfortable taking care of animals again at all, the second would be that Junpei’s canonically an impulse adopter. So this ended up being more about getting Akane to come around about the idea in the first place (also many catgirl jokes at her expense lmao) Also about the drawing I imagine she quickly comes around to enjoying the little head boops while reading :3

Hope you enjoy!

——————

Junpei and Akane had gone through hell to be by each other’s sides. That was true, sure, but a few years into their ‘happy ending’ and the picture perfect act has begun to feel rather unsustainable. Not to mention it should have long since stopped being an act to begin with.

The I love you’s are very real… when they are apart.

It’s not as bad as when they first reunited at least, it wasn’t a very fun sort of tension like she vicariously lived through a little by playing June all that time ago. No, it was more comparable to the tension between a bleeding wound and the injured hand applying pressure to it. They both knew it, felt it, then let the matter join the many subjects which they don’t talk about. Ever. Despite the fact that they probably should.

As counterintuitive as it sounds, their counter to all of that was wanting to be with each other as much as possible. Maybe that’d make the pain fade. To get to know each other better like any normal couple, maybe a bit to prove to themselves they still liked each other’s company and that they hadn’t changed completely from what brought them together as kids.

Big problem with that is, the farthest thing Akane wanted for any of those outings, especially the rare ones where she was somehow convinced into going outdoors, was for it to so closely remind her of any of the things that brought them closer together at that terrible tender age of twelve.

Wandering into an animal shelter wasn’t the intention behind this little stroll. Neither of them even knew it’d be here- really, it wasn’t even much of a proper shelter to begin with, it seems more like an adoption fair. One that was hopefully backed by an indisputably good-faith, locally known and reliable organization– and not by any other corporate entity with history that she’d be tempted to add to her criminal record over. Every time Junpei tells her that the ever-present instinct to suspect and look into every little thing she comes across is bad for her he also fumbles and asks what are the chances she’d just happen to bump into that kind of huge conspiracy so often in her life without actively looking. She answers it’s always a non-zero chance in the end, and they risk far more if unsuspecting. That’s always when he drops the subject.

Though at a certain awkward distance from the fences, she’d elected to just go along with it and follow him for as long as the detour entertains him. It’s not like she hates getting to see the little critters around the place, she’s not that messed up about it, of course not… There’s even a comfortable amount of people around too! Which is to say, far less than there are animals.

There would have been an attempt to just keep walking past where this was taking place, if not for the fact that it really hadn’t taken long for Junpei to start playing with one of the dogs. Not that the rest of the pack wasn’t jumping at trying to grab his attention too, of course, but he took a liking to a particular one.

Noticing she’d stayed behind, barely budging an inch, his voice turns into that clumsy but cute stammering, like it always does whenever he’s trying to sound sensible.

“Oh uh, do you- uh… do you have a fear of dogs?” It helps ease her into a grin just a little.

“No. ‘Afraid’ isn’t the word I’d use…” She just doesn’t know what to do with her hands at the moment other than hold onto Junpei’s, which wasn’t helped when he suddenly let go. And well, it’s not like she knows the temperament of the animals just by looking and it’s really a lot of sudden movements to keep track of in just one place, it’s also not like she would want to risk bothering them when she barely wants to be touched ever without initiating it either, not to mention the space they’re in seems quite small– she makes herself smile again and tilts her head squinting, realizing she’d forgotten to ask. “Is… that a Boston terrier?”

“…Got it. Well, you are more of a cat person I guess. And uh- I don’t know? If you say so, then it must be? I’m not really good at remembering the names for these.”

She steps closer and leans down next to him, who is just sitting on the floor without a care, palms on her knees for support.

"It’s not like I hate pups just because I get along better with the cats.”

"Of course not, just look at them. Aw… it’s hard to imagine anyone could hate these guys.”

Avoidant as she may be, after a solid half minute or so of her watching him have fun she also extends her hand out to pet the dog who, while not showing clear distaste for it or anything, only goes back to wagging its tail when circling back to Junpei. He quickly took over once more when she retracted her hand, vigorously pulling his hands along the fur around the collar and talking to it in a jumbled baby-talk that was apparently really enriching judging by how it earns enthusiastic barking back, as if in conversation. Exactly matching all that energy that Akane couldn’t imagine keeping up with even on a good day.

Between laughter, his voice starts being directed at her again, even if what he says is more of a musing to himself.

"Wait, I think I’m beginning to remember what this little guy reminds me of…”

Oh. Only now? Come on Jumpy, this one’s even black and white as well.

That’s it, she’s got to mess with him now.

"You mean like… a wrestler? The spots on its face already look like a mask but I’m sure a fun little costume would be a really cute look. Clover could DIY a big belt spelling out ‘winner’ for them as well! Unless- or was it a retired wrestler…?”

"No- what are you talking about?! Everything that you just said was absolutely bananas–” Even if his tone poorly feigns appalment there’s humor in it too. "I mean- what’s wrestling got to do with anything, what the hell–?”

"You mean you don’t know?”

It was just ‘bananas’ enough to pull his eyes away from the dog and, apparently, being met with her expression looking down at him while knowingly and visibly holding in laughter, was all it took for it to finally dawn on him.

"Ohh— ” She starts laughing before he facepalms and, from the sound of it, he hits far harder than intended too. Pulling her partner to his feet by hooking her arm under his, she speaks cheerily only once he seems to have recovered enough.

"You shouldn’t touch your face without washing your hands first.”

"Come on, give a guy a moment, okay? This is an overwhelming amount of emotion to feel all at once…” It’s endearing to see him engage in his own variety of theatrics, even if only for the sake of unfunny jokes that she can’t help but be fond of anyways.

"Dork.”

"But hey, you’re right. It would be pretty funny to give him a little wrestler costume… You sure there’s no place for him back home?”

Home as a single stationary place still sounds so foreign to her, and that’s just the part she doesn’t want to talk about.

"We’re here just looking.”

"You say that as if I were a stranger asking and not part of the we in question.”

"Very well. I did not intend on being here today and I won’t indulge in what’s essentially impulse buying a living being, Jumpy.”

"Come on Kanny, what could go wrong? I mean, we’ve got space, we’ve got more than enough funds, I think it would be–”

”What could go wrong?” Sometimes it’s hard to tell if he’s being dense on purpose. “Do you really need me to say it?”

"I… thought you liked animals?”

And with that, it’s finally safe to assume Junpei’s chances of getting his tact back are long gone. Not that she thinks he ever had any to lose.

Flat shoes walk away into the fair, but that’s only because the best way out is through. Akane gets pretty far in before Junpei decides to stop dancing around the subject and puts himself square in front of her, blocking the way.

"Look, I never heard of a single other person who had luck as shitty as we did that summer. Alright? It wasn’t a subject I looked into much but even hearing from people in law enforcement it was a freakish animal cruelty incident that doesn’t happen often. That whole area had issues with that sort of thing anyw–”

"I never heard of luck as poor as I was left with that whole entire year.”

"Y-yeah, there’s that-” When they do bring up a subject that should be buried, there’s not much to do except measure the reaction. That’s what’s between them, if they can’t look away then it better mean something at least. "And… I wasn’t there to help at first, but I came around eventually. I won’t let something like that happen again.”

It’s sweet, he even holds her hand in his… but it’s still a little conceited.

"What makes you think I would?”

"Perfect! Then, we’re both in agreement. There’s nothing bad that could possibly happen and we can totally bring one of these guys home uh… if you two click?”

"Excuse me? At which point did we agree?”

"It doesn’t have to be permanent, these kinds of places do all sorts of trial runs, foster–”

"That’s just cruel.”

"Well, but it doesn’t have to be. I’m sure the little fella will love us and we’ll end up keeping them.”

"What if I don’t want to get attached to a creature with hardly a sixth of a human lifespan?”

"Did you want to uh, take a look at the cats since that’s more comfortable for you?

"Junpei.” None of this is comfortable.

"Okay, okay.” He puts his hands up in a mock gesture of surrender… before plunging into his pocket and pulling out his phone for some reason. ”… Here goes a last ditch effort…”

“What are you doing now?”

"Hey man, can you help me convince your sister of something?”

Before she can even begin to reprimand him he’s clicking his tongue and dialing up again. When Aoi picks up again she can hear even from the arm’s length she’s being kept at.

"Whatever this is about, what makes you think I could possibly be on your side instead of hers?!”

"I don’t! Just hear me out, okay- gimme a second.” He opens the video option in the call and turns the phone in her direction. He has a mildly confused look urging her to explain the situation but it’s a few moments until she says anything, because Junpei has a stupid grin on his face and they both know he might win this.

”…Junpei wants a pet. And we happened to walk into a kennel. Cattery–”

“Adoption fair.”

"And he’s being really stubborn.”

Takes a second for her brother to process the absolute nonanswer he comes up with.

"Oh.”

"Oh?”

"There are worse arguments you could be having out there.” Though Junpei wouldn’t be the one pulling him into those. "Guessing that wasn’t on your itinerary?”

"You think? Why am I not hearing you antagonize him anymore?”

"I mean, I think it could be good for you? You used to beg me for one all the time- until I said Santa couldn’t send animals in boxes with little holes poked in them for air like in the movies.”

She yanks the phone out of Junpei’s hand and turns off the video before putting it up to her ear, looking almost embarrassed.

"Aoi.”

"You’re right, you’re right– it’s a ton of responsibility. Wouldn’t be trying to convince you sis, I’m just saying–”

"You think that’s the part I’d take issue with??”

Akane takes off, pacing away from Junpei, wanting some distance at least if not privacy to continue one of the silliest sibling squabbles in recent memory. Which is completely fine by him, there’s plenty to do while she talks herself into it just to prove a point.

After a few minutes, Akane’s standing next to Junpei again. Turns off the phone and extends her arm out for him to take it without looking at him, pouty like a child while Junpei’s looking smug. This is like the first marital dispute he’s won.

”…Only if we come across one I feel is a good fit.”

“I’ll take that.”

Aoi and Light had recently gotten a cat of their own, though insistently not as a couple, Akane doesn’t really understand what her brother’s love life is like (and she’s grateful to be spared of the details) but they have something going on, why else would he move in with them after she decided to move in together with Junpei? Actually, she might have heard him mention that one of Clover’s coworkers found the little calico abandoned and she offered to take it in, so really it wasn’t even like it was his responsibility any more than the Field’s by a long shot but still… he was so happy over it, which used to be such a rare sight, that Akane found it hard to be a buzzkill about it by voicing what came to her mind.

In truth, it wasn’t just the rabbit hutch thing giving her pause. Aside from the obvious glaring reason for her to be hesitant to hold such a tiny creature in her arms, despite her love for them, she just didn’t think she knew how anymore. At this point she’s more used to stuffed animals, not that she kept many of those around either.

While they visited recently, she sat very stiltedly holding the feline in her lap, her brother went from gushing about it to joking about already having experience looking after a weird ‘kit cat’ his whole life. After she complained Junpei followed up on it by sneakily referring to her as ‘kitten’, just that once, and even if by some metric seeing them getting along was cute she’d have kicked them both if not for the purring fluff ball snoozing on top of her thighs. This was far more anxiety inducing than a plush, she noted, and it only became more evident each fleeting second, each motion coiling for breath she felt against her skin. It was so precious and so easy to ruin and her hands were too singed to hold it. The fact her body deeply rejects such simple gentleness despite it having come so easily to her once is a mourning unto itself.

Most of the cats they see around are cozily lazing about, some snuggling together, staring back at them curiously at most. She could genuinely smile at that. It’s calmer with none of them seeming in the mood for interaction at the moment. They slow their pace now that Akane is actually participating, the unexpected unexpectedness of the situation no longer weighing her down as much.

Though it was still a bit much, so they sat together by a bench for her to rest a little. It wasn’t far at all, it’s right behind one of the cat houses in fact just where it starts leading away from the event.

She’s so completely lost in thought that she’s surprised to hear a small high pitched gasp before even realizing it was a sound she herself had made. Then looking down at her leg she understands why.

A little black cat scratched at her leg, accidentally, it looked more like the tiny little fuzz ball was attempting to climb her leg. Well, technically not black, she notices the fur is a dark grayish color with tons of off-color patches when she gets a better look and she only gets that better look because it succeeds at its task. At which point she has to attempt to scoop the very tiny cat with both hands so it’s not at risk from falling back down. Only stopping its determined meowing when he settles on her lap.

"Why do they always choose you?”

"Because I don’t try chasing after them like they’re dogs, Junpei.”

"Hey, that’s not something I’ve done since I’ve grown up, okay? Well- except–”

"If you say I’m the exception, I swear–”

"Okay! So, where did this little fella come from?”

"I didn’t see…” She leans in and rubs behind the cat’s ears, earning a soft little purr of gratitude. The fur really is weirdly patched when you look close, it doesn’t feel like the coloration should be that way, the texture’s also a bit different. Wait, are the eyes not open yet? Or is one–

It isn’t long before an employee? Volunteer? A lady in a friendly colored vest comes to gently whisk away the culprit, she seems young and a bit anxious to have to talk to them.

"Oogh, I’m so sorry ma'am, are you okay? These little nails didn’t do a number on you, right?”

Akane gets on her feet to more steadily help the kitten trade hands.

“Oh, oh no, I’m perfectly fine. Really, I could barely feel it. Thank you.”

“That’s good.”

And that’s where the interaction would have ended if Junpei didn’t also get up.

"Hi, I’m with her. So, how come he’s popped up all the way over here?”

"You see this guy’s a little escape artist– every time there’s people around he tries to hide away from visitors by sneaking out into the desk with us, so… then why today did he decide to bother such a nice couple instead? What’s up with you?”

The cat is still trying to climb out back to where it was a minute ago, which the volunteer seems to know how to handle, though it’s funny to see it go from her arm to her shoulder then back to the other arm. A lot of effort is going into making sure he doesn’t throw himself on the ground. Junpei waits for a moment where the pace’s slowed down a bit to also try to pet him, seems to like him too.

“Aww, I think that’s a really good fit, actually. What’s his name?”

“Oh we don’t know actually, this friend was found without a nameplate. He’s made a name for himself but it’s not been that long at all since he’s been with us, we haven’t agreed on a name yet since he’s been back from the vet. Wait, did you say you two were interested?”

He looks at Akane for her to answer. She looks back with what doesn’t seem to be a look of aggression to the general onlooker, but they know he’s putting her on the spot like this so she won’t be backhanded about agreeing.

"Well, yes. If possible, I mean- isn’t the saying that the pet chooses the owner and not the other way around? We sure sound like we’ll get along, we both aren’t super sociable either–”

The awkward little laugh got to Junpei, who’s more comfortable with failing at humor in front of strangers than she is to even attempt it.

"He must have thought ‘oh these guys are off by themselves away from everyone too, we’ll get along great!’”

That’s just silly enough that she can look at him funny behind crossed arms and it’ll be an entirely appropriate reaction. She can only hope that’s the only thing that he sensed in them.

The kitten settled into a nap on the volunteer’s arms by now, tired himself out. Really is an adorable sight.

"That’s just great! One of you just has to come fill up a questionnaire at the table and a few more things, we can sort out real quick- uhm… I guess I should- oh right! So, like I was saying, this fella may come with extra expenses due to health complications, is that okay with you? Are you new pet owners?”

"The issue isn’t money…” “We are? New to it- kind of…”

“Oh, don’t worry too much. He’s all healthy now, neutered and the vaccinations all in order too, it’s just… it’s a little bit of a hard sell to some people since he needed stitches and lost an eye so he’s always going to be a bit wobblier than average when moving around.”

"A-ah… why is that?”

Akane’s hand suddenly has a vice grip on his. For once, the resolve in her voice is undeliberate, shaky.

"We don’t need to hear the story.” She turns away from the volunteer and her voice turns small so only her partner hears. “Can you go take care of all that? I’ll go get my brother to help get things in order before they go do a housecheck, if they’ll do one.”

"There’s not much there to cat proof I don’t think, but sure. Guess you’d- uh, have a better eye for that stuff… Also let me guess, you want me to tell you when that is happening so you can go to his place while there’s strangers over?” A smile confirms that. "Alright. But I’ll check in with Clover too to make sure you two aren’t skipping town instead.” Another smile, more mischievous this time.

"Oh no, my plan’s been found out.” First off, if she really intended on making an exit she wouldn’t bring it up to him first, duh, as if she were an amateur. Second, maybe this line of teasing can get far too draining, far too quick, so she changes the subject one last time. "Tell me your name ideas when I get back.”

She places a kiss on his cheek and saunters off. Does she wish she didn’t get shoved into bringing painful color back into a memory that had just barely grayed and numbed?

Yes.

But she wouldn’t have been convinced if she didn’t genuinely think they were capable of giving it a try. Maybe any place they stay at together will feel more like a home when there’s someone living there with them that isn’t walking on eggshells, that is just uncomplicatedly happy to have survived whatever it did before it ended up there. Maybe she’ll learn to do that as well. Things already are complicated enough.

#submission #junepei #999 #goggles-girl #mortellanarts #zecret santa 2023

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destinygoldenstar · 2 years

Text

I’d lie if I said I didn’t see some people say this before, but very few people have and it’s strange to me.

Owen’s story in Total Drama is kinda sad.

Think about it, he’s acts like a little kid all the time (ironic) and his bright energy and optimism helped him win Island. He just came on the show to have fun, as a contrast to every other character, but they were drawn to him at first because he was a ray of positive light. And for the first ten episodes of Action, that seems to stick, even after he stupidly gave up his winnings and (not intentionally) screwed his family over.

Then once his jaw gets busted, everything goes downhill.

It’s bad enough that the injury caused... quite a bit of stir craziness for him, but Courtney forced him out of the game because of that. His only hope with a broke family was to play the producers favorite and come back on the show in a forced ‘villain descent’ plotline. Even if it’s not in Owen’s nature to be mean and strategic and a drama inducer, the shift and him being thrown in everyone’s faces drove everyone away from him.

World Tour was essentially a fresh new start for him, a way to be himself once more, and what does he get? A team leader that constantly bullies him, where he can’t read the room that the new guy hates his guts? Everyone else is devoted to the nature of the show, and so they treat Owen’s good nature as something to use, and as something that’s worthless in the end. No one even considers that he has feelings and just sees him as some man child.

He loses Izzy from a plane crash, a very traumatizing experience for him. And instead of getting time to mourn, he’s forced to sing a goofy song about it.

He becomes close friends with Noah (His ONLY real friend at this point, mind you), and Noah gets booted next episode.

Alejandro and Duncan want to use Owen after the fact, and though he’s nice to Blaineley, she only fat shames him and uses him for her image, because ‘producers favorite’. He realizes they don’t like him far too late, and they abandon him in his elimination. Not a single person is shown feeling slightly bad about ditching Owen like this.

This good natured kid who brought everyone together at the start of the show, ends his time in the show single, disliked, and ALONE.

Really, the only person Owen had after the show was Noah, who as I mentioned earlier, was the only person who didn’t use or abandon Owen. In that sense, them staying together as Reality Pros makes so much sense. All they had was each other. (Before Emma and Kitty anyway) Noah is everything to Owen. If Noah isn’t in a good state, physically or mentally, Owen loses his mind. That’s why Owen plays the role of the sidekick. He doesn’t want Noah to abandon him. (”Maybe you should stop trying to be some girls hero, and be MY hero” -Ridonculous Race)

And another detail I noticed; In Action, he got carried away with his food obsession after the jaw incident that slowed his team down. Then in Ridonculous Race episode 3 with the cheese wheel, the similar thing happens and he cries and feels bad about it, as though he’s shaming himself for an inability to be what people want of him. (”I have no self control. I’m like a dog.”) To prove my point.

Now, I’m not gonna act like Owen is my favorite character or anything. He’s not. He’s more B and maybe a Low A tier character for me, and my tolerance for him depends on the season. (Island - Decently liked. Action - Disliked. World Tour - Really liked. Ridonculous Race - Mixed bag)

But I did want to bring this up for people who think Owen is some shallow comic relief with no feelings or character depth. There’s more to him than that. If anything, I blame the writers for oversaturating him as a joke. (Or maybe it was on purpose to sell what I said. I can’t tell.)

#Total Drama #Td Owen #loneliness #Td Noah #Nowen #Total Drama World Tour

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2btheanswertothequestion · 1 year

Text

“I’m not calling for El.”

Jonathan, just drawing breath to shout El’s name, pauses. Puts the receiver back to his ear with his brow furrowed.

“You’re not?” he asks.

“Nope,” Max says on the other end. There’s movement where she is, rustling and footsteps, and her television is playing what sounds like a car commercial. She lowers the volume before he can catch for which car. “I wanna talk to you. Will said you have a skateboard?”

“I do.”

“Do you know how to use it?”

Jonathan puts the pile of mail, and the butter knife he was opening it with, on the table and slouches against the wall. He does know how to use it, or at least he did. It’s been years since last. Once he started working, there’s wasn’t any time to squeeze in skating for fun between homework and chores. Once he got his driving license, there wasn’t any point in using it for transportation either. But before that, the skateboard saw more wear than the soles of his shoes did.

“Yeah, I do,” he says, because though it’s been years he still knows how, right? It’s like swimming or riding a bike. Once you know, you know.

“Great. Then I have a favor to ask.” She breathes deeply over the line. “Mom doesn't want me out on my own. Because of my eyes and my legs. So, could you, like, help me out?”

–– –– –– –– –– –– –– –– –– ––

The area by the Mayfield trailer isn’t great for skating, with the cracked pavement and the seemingly permanent layer of gravel, and every other area that isn’t actually designated for skating but so used anyway is bound to have other people there. It’s because of that, he guesses, Max tells him to meet her by a little cul-de-sac south of the park. He arrives thirty minutes early to test the road and his rusty skills. Perhaps simply skating there would have been enough to refresh his muscle memory, but why take the chance?

It’s a nice area. The asphalt is even and the lawns are mowed. A few houses have fruit trees in their yards, and every window has the kind of curtain retirees like. A dog, small by the sound of it, yaps from inside one of the houses at one point, but calms quickly. After that, the only noise is the wind and his squeaky wheels.

He was right – it is just like riding a bike. It’s not as smooth as once upon a time, and he can’t go as fast, but he never eats shit. He even nails a kickturn and a tic tac on his first try, and a basic ollie on his second. By the time the Beemer turns up, he’s back to 100% confident in his abilities.

Max jumps out of the car, and for a moment it’s like nothing happened. Her spine is straight and her head is level. Her bright hair is loose and she’s wearing a yellow T-shirt.

Then she looks toward him, and her eyes are just a little unfocused. She walks and her movements are a tad too stiff. It’s impossible to forget the fact that she turned her back on death twice.

While she retrieves her skateboard and crutches from the backseat, Steve rolls down his window and beckons for Jonathan to come closer. He doesn’t have much to say apart from “Hey, man” and “I’ll be back in two hours” and, after leaning in close to whisper, “she won’t admit it, but she gets tired after standing for twenty minutes, so make sure she takes breaks”.

Jonathan promises with a nod and then the BMW drives off.

The first thing she asks is if he brought his board. He replies “yes”. Then she wants to know if he still remembers how to skate. “Yes” again. She nods, pushes a long tress out of her face, and drops her own board onto the road. The crutches, just a precaution according to her, are left lying on the sidewalk as she steps on the board.

When he asks how she wants to do this, she admits she hasn’t ridden in months – only balanced in her room, by her bed – and needs to figure out the basics again. So they start with pushing and stopping.

He leaves his board behind for it, opting to run next to her as she rides. It’s slow-moving at first, with lots of stops and starts. She wobbles but never falls, the one close-call when she veers too close to the curb and almost crashes aborted by Jonathan grabbing and steadying her. After thanking him she points out it might be a good thing for her to fall, and that he should let her.

He says he’ll consider it if she wears a helmet. She rolls her eyes and makes sure to ride farther from the curb on her next try.

Twenty minutes in he suggests a break, which she manages to delay for an additional five minutes before sitting down to drink some water and eat a banana. Above, the sky turns a shade grayer. She’s unconcerned when he lets her know, instead throwing herself back on the board. The uncertainty from before has all but evaporated off her.

She attempts tricks. Riding switch is easy for her, as is the kickturn and manual. The nose stall is harder since she can’t see when it’s time to shift her weight and balance. They solve the issue by having Jonathan stand on the curb and talk, letting her hear how far away she is. A few dozen or so tries in, she’s memorized the distance and succeeds without him. Cackling, she raises her hand for a high-five; he obliges.

By their second break, Max is almost smiling too wide to drink from her water bottle. Buzzing with excitement, she wants to continue immediately, but he puts his foot down because, happy or not, she’s exhausted. The corners of her eyes droop and despite the high temperature she shivers, goosebumps erupting across her bare arms. She still waves him off when he offers her his jacket.

At least until it starts to rain.

It’s nothing major, just a late summer drizzle. But it might become more, so he’s grateful when she huddles underneath the dark denim, resting it on top of her head to keep her arms free. And then they simply listen.

The clouds keep rolling in, the sky growing darker each second. Both it and the wet pavement are slate gray now, but the leaves are vivid green and the air smells like warmth and earth. Max’s head drifts back and forth, seeking the sounds, zeroing in on the heaviest droplets as they hit the asphalt. His too-big jacket hangs like a curtain around her, shielding her from rain and darkness alike.

Actually, no. Just the rain. She wards off the darkness on her own. Her sunshine-yellow shirt, her flame-orange hair, her smoke-white skin, so pale it’s almost translucent, the veins running fluorescent on the insides of her wrists.

She’s glowing like a candle.

“Thanks,” she says. “For being my eyes today.”

“No problem. Thanks for making me finally use this again.” He kicks at his board, the wheels spinning slowly.

“I want to skate at the park or the lot later. When I’m ready.”

“Sure. I’ll be there.”

Max nods, a small smile on her face. Untangling her crossed legs, she pulls them to her chest to rest her chin on her knees.

“Have you heard what Dustin’s been researching?”

“No, what?”

“Well. He has a theory,” she says, and Jonathan actually snorts at her imitation, both expression and cadence a perfect copy of Dustin’s, “on human echolocation.”

Jonathan draws a breath. “Human… echolocation.”

“He thinks that, by studying echoes or whatever, I can learn where things are by snapping my fingers, or doing this,” she says and clicks her tongue. “So, I guess that’s a backup in case that doctor won’t make it work with the surgery.”

“How’s it going with that?”

“I dunno. They’re ‘figuring it out’.” Max makes a face that tells exactly what she thinks of that. “Guess, right now, Dustin Henderson is my best bet.”

She shrugs, her lips curving into a smile’s likeness. The lines around her mouth and shadows by her eyes make her appear both impossibly old and unbearably young. She sniffles, which might be due to the cold, might be something else.

Jonathan says, “His success-to-failure ratio is in your favor.”

“Yeah, I guess,” she says, now smiling for real again.

Anything else they might have to say is cut short by the appearance of Steve’s BMW. It hasn’t been two hours yet, not even one and a half, but the rain is starting to come down harder, so they stow away the items in the trunk to make space for Jonathan and drive off.

The Beemer smells like pine and expensive leather. Steve has the heat on high and the stereo low, and together with the rain smattering on the windows, it creates an ambiance one could fall asleep to. Jonathan sinks into the backseat, draping his jacket over his legs for the sake of the seats, although he’s pretty sure they’ve been through worse things than rainwater. In the front, Max’s pointer finger squeaks against the misted-over window, and as Freddie Mercury sings about losing his way in the darkness, she draws perfect flowers and suns despite not being able to see them.

#*throws this at you* HERE TAKE IT #stranger things #stranger things fanfiction #jonathan byers #max mayfield #my writing #editing isn't quite up to standard but whatever

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