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#and even though we dont talk much anymore i still love you lots
lemonykleonella · 4 months
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Thank you For making me feel alive again For making me believe in myself again For making me have passion again For saving me There's no words out there that can describe how I feel without me sounding cheesy and corny, but you have no idea how much you helped me rediscover myself. I wish there were more times when I could see you. Maybe one day.. we could do it all again Thank you so much for that day of January 8th, 2023 @jampreserves @banyanas
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fyodorloveclub · 6 months
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DONT YOU UNDERSTAND?
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★ pairing: husband!fyodor x reader
★ cw: DARK CONTENT AHEAD!! 18+, MINORS DNI. noncon, drugging, forced breeding, lots of breeding/pregnancy talk, vaginal sex, not enough foreplay, fyodor is evil!!
★ notes: breedtober fic #?? sorry the fics have been coming out so late, thank u for ur patience ily all <3
want more of breedtober?
DISCLAIMER: i do not condone noncon in any way, shape, or form. this is just fiction with no reflection of real life. please refrain from leaving hate comments, and just unfollow/block. or simply scroll away. thank u!
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Dizzy – you’re so fucking dizzy. The room is spinning, your vision is dark and fuzzy around the edges, and you have no clue if you’re sitting or standing up currently. Because, worst of all, every part of your body is numb. You can’t move.  
All you can see is the normally gentle, sweet face of your lover that’s now marred with an expression one can only describe as evil.
You want to reach out, ask him what’s wrong, what’s happening, but you can’t. All movement and speech have been rendered impossible, due to the teacup that lay shattered on the ground, bathed in the liquid that made you like this.
It was completely normal, a routine at this point, to sit in the living room with Fyodor in front of the lit fireplace sipping tea out of teacups from his beloved collection of fine china. The tea varied – chamomile, earl gray, mint, oolong, just plain green. And the activities often varied as well. Sometimes teasing and laughing over a card game, sometimes long, difficult discussions about the future with stoic faces, and sometimes just comfortable silence. The night before you had been discussing marriage and children. But it was always just you and Fyodor with cups of tea.
This had been a night like every other, though conversation remained at a minimum. Jasmine tea as the fire roared a little hotter than usual. What differed was how the tea started to make you feel. It was slow enough that you wouldn’t push away the cup or become unable to drink the whole serving, but fast enough that once it came on, you couldn’t stop it – it was too late.
And now you lay limp in Fyodor’s arms as he laid you down on the chaise lounge you had been resting on with your cup of tea – the one had fallen to the ground once your strength had started to fade.
“W-wha-” you manage to get out, your vocal cords and lips fighting against whatever was paralyzing them.
“Shhh,” Fyodor soothes, petting your hair as he hovers over you. “This is for the good of our family, my love.”
Your slack face slightly contorts into a look of confusion as your fuzzy mind tries to make sense of his words, barely noticing the way he tugged down your pants until his fingertips circled around your clit lightly. Somehow you could feel that. You attempted to jerk away from the touch, but your body once again failed you.
“Oh, my love, don’t you remember?” he tuts before spitting on his fingers and prodding at your hole. He had little interest in foreplay right now. “Don’t you understand? How you saying you ‘didn’t want kids anymore’ was completely unacceptable.”
It suddenly starts to click, even in your fucked mind. The way Fyodor’s jaw tightened, and smile faded during your discussion last night when you admitted that you didn’t see kids in your future. You had paid little mind to his disappointed “oh”. But clearly, he hadn’t let go.
One finger pushes past your still tight ring of muscle, making you grunt. “In case you don’t, in case the drug has addled your conscience too much, I shall explain.” Another finger sinks in. “We will be having children. At least three, to be exact. You will be getting pregnant, and hopefully tonight.” His fingers pump in and out of you, faster and faster, scissoring apart to stretch you open. “Even if that means rendering you useless and unable to resist me."
Tugging his own pants down, he spits in the palm of his hand before gripping his half-hard cock, pumping it a few times. “I considered just pulling you ass up for easiest access, but I want you to see me – to watch what happens when you disobey my wishes so severely.”
Since you’re completely dead weight, Fyodor has to manually spread your legs wide in order to slot himself between them, his grip tight underneath your knees. Then his lips are on your as he leans over you, the kiss forceful since you’re unable to reciprocate – not that you would’ve anyway.
The leaky tip of his cock as he revels in your inability to fight back is proof that he’s enjoying this immensely, the sick bastard. You want to scream out, thrash against him as his length slides into your cunt in protest of how unfair this is, how he can’t just decide to get you pregnant, but you can’t. You’re completely stuck just… taking it. Until his balls are pressed all the way against your ass, the puff of hair at the base of his cock tickling against your clit.
And somehow, you can feel it on the inside. You can feel the sting and burn as he pushes in and stretches you out, but can also feel… the pleasure. Maybe it’s the way your slack jaw falls open further at his first thrust, your body twitching, but Fyodor can tell. The way your body is forcing you to feel good against your wishes.
You grunt pathetically with every single thrust, legs hanging loosely around his waist and tongue lolling out of your mouth with drool pooling out of the corner. Fyodor is going mad with how much he loves this, how quickly he’s getting off from just using you without your permission. His violet eyes shine fiercely and the sick smirk on his face only grows as he fucks you harder and harder.
"Going to look so pretty pregnant, my beautiful doll,” he coos, massaging the soft fat of your tits. “So round and so full of my babies, so swollen you can barely walk, can’t even see your feet. You’ll need your darling husband’s help to even walk down the stairs,” he babbles, clearly just talking to himself.
“Do you like it, pretty? The way I’m just using you? It turns you on, doesn’t it? You and your body are mine, you know. I own you. And I own the right to use you however I please, to make you whatever I please.”
Of course, Fyodor had always been a bit possessive, always liked to call you his, but never to this caliber. Never to the point where you thought he’d do something like this.
His thrusts get faster and faster with every sick and twisted sentence, and though your hearing was fuzzy too, the wet sounds of skin on skin echoed through the room. Too wet to only just be his precum… were you wet? From what he was doing to you?
The orange light from the roaring fireplace illuminated Fyodor’s face in the most terrifying way, highlighting his sharp features, and igniting his eyes and sweat that had begun dripping down the sides of his face.
He leans in close, whispering into your ear. “Are you ready for my seed, doll? Ready for me to cum so deep inside you your womb is forced to take all of it?”
You’re able to shake your head a bit, and Fyodor clicks his tongue.
“You’re ready because I say so.”
You can’t feel it, but by the way his eyes roll back and his hips stutter, cock throbbing inside you, you can tell he’s cumming. Filling you up with the seed he promised to get you pregnant with.
After pulling out, he kisses you deeply.
“Before we go again, I will fetch you some more tea, my love. It seems you’ve regained some ability to move, and I can’t have that.”
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nyx-is-missing · 4 months
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Hi! Can I request a Clarissa × Fem!reader, where reader is spending a lot of time talking to someone from Athena's cabin and she gets jealous. you can decide what cabin reader is in :)
Jealous jealous girl
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Clarisse la rue x fem!reader (apollo's kid)
Summary: when the girl she likes is being friendly to someone, Clarisse might see red.
Warnings: no major fights actually, fluff (a bit) kissing (yes today no clickbait) medíocre writting and im sorry.
(I didn't review it, don't sue me, English isn't my native language, that's probably why it's mediocre, love ya
"Have you actually read that book? Oh my gods really? I felt like i was the only one who knew it"
Clarisse watched with red eyes as (Y/n) got excited and laughed togheter with some kid from Athena's cabin.
They werent exactly...togheter yet, but they WERE something, everyone was sure of that.
Clarisse mind couldnt comprehend then, how even though EVERYONE knew they had something, that particular girl would not back off of her.
(Y/n) laughed togheter with the girl at some book reference she had made, and the final straw for Clarisse was when the girl had the courage to touch her girl's knee.
Her sunshine?
The disrespect, was she not seeing Clarrise looking at them? Like 10 steps behind?
The.disrespect.
Oh that will end right now.
Walking over to the girls with a fake smile who people would perceive of normal happiness, however, if you did knew her, her eyes had a hint of red rage in them.
"Love? Would you come with me for a second yes?"
She took (Y/n) by the hands but before she could even get up the Athena kid made herself seen.
"Excuse me? Cant you see we're talking? So rude."
"Oh yes, excuse you really, i dont think a need a cue to talk to my girlfriend, now shut up before I make you eat that book for dinner."
Not waiting for any more words Clarisse took reader by the hand again.
"Clarisse that was not nice, she was my friend- dont even start to speak right now, we'll talk in my cabin, it must be empity right now, we dont need the camp seeing something they dont need"
Letting (Y/n) guide her, still holding her hand, Clarisse had a confused look on her face.
"But we are not going to fight, not today"
"Says who?"
They got inside the cabin and bingo, empity empity, all the Apollo kids must be doing its activities, or getting ready for dinner, as always.
"Me, Love. We wont fight, we'll talk."
Clarisse sat down at the bed she knew it was (y/n)'s waiting for her to do the same.
Choosing to stand, she had a blank look on her face.
"You said we would talk, talk to me, why be mean to my friend clari?"
"Because im jealous. Im not made of steel, love, i cant see a girl from a rival cabin flirting with my sunshine and go around skipping like a kid, you know me"
"We were not flirting clari, she is my friend!"
"YOU were not flirting, she wants to be more than that"
Clarisse corrected
"And you have a right to do something about it since when? Everytime you talk about me to your friends im a friend too, but suddently when its convenient i turn into your girlfriend? Oh please"
Clarisse looked at her, and extended her hands to grab (y/n) hands, when they finally touched Clarisse got (y/n) to get closer and closer to her, now she was standing in between Clarisse's legs and had to look down to see her.
"I never said i was right love, im sorry for hurting you, i swear.....i was insecure about that, im so sorry really..."
"Clari you dont needed to-"
"Date me"
Clarisse interrupted her mid speech.
"What?"
"Date me, let me introduce you to everyone as my girlfriend, i wont make you hurt anymore, date me....-"
Please
That was the word missing, would it make clarisse apear as desperate if she used it?
Fuck it, she was inside the Apollo cabin, that gave her enough poetic justice to be as luvestruck as she could
She found herself resting her hands on (y/n) hips, looking up to her with heart eyes.
"Please... date me"
.
.
.
"Say something, please"
Whoever first said that acts spoke words was very much right, because the kiss Clarisse received was nothing short of a love letter.
Clarisse felt hands on her cheek and neck, caressing her.
The kiss was slow and carefull at first, like the first time they kissed, so very sweet, until it wasn't.
When the kiss deepened, Clarisse's hands sunk more onto (y/n) hips, and then started to pull her down, to sit on her lap.
It was the very first time both felt like this, the absolute need to just become a fusion, hug so tightly a loved one that they would just morph into one.
"Thank you, thank you, thank you"
Clarisse said, breathing in her girlfriend's neck when they separated to breath.
When (y/n) was going to speak, she felt a small bite on her lower neck.
"Clarisse- ah"
"Sorry.."
Clarissed giggled before she went back kissing her mouth, when did she became one of the girls that giggled?
They heard the cabin door opening and then a
"Oh fuck sorry i just...ill come back later, and you (y/n) will tell me everything about later or ill change my name, bye lovebirds"
They looked at each other resisting the urge to laugh.
"Well i guess we wont need to introduce ourselfs to anybody, by tomorrow morning they'll know"
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liveontelevision · 2 months
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Okay, this started as a rant about Lucifer lore and turned into an argumentative essay on why Lucifer is a bottom. My b.
18+ Smut ahead, lots of angst
•••
Here's the thing about Lucifer. He was an awesome dreamer, fell in love with Lillith, and was banished to Hell. Literally forced to see what the gift of good will can do at its worse. Unless he's made some personal contact with a sinner to get like updates about what the gift of good will did right, he had to be stuck in a depression for centuries, at least until Charlie was born. And while that would've definitely given him a new passion, he'll never feel confident in dreaming again.
With how much he dislikes sinners and what they represent, i wonder if there had to be some strain on their relationship when it came to Lillith taking control? They never really talk about if they had a fallout or if she just disappeared, but i dont think they really got divorced either.
When Lucifer looks at that family picture and winces, does he feel bad about not contacting charlie? About something he did to make lillith leave? Or maybe he feels bad about being upset at lillith for leaving in the first place? There's so much to umpack there i live for the lore.
Love Interests:
But when that comes to potential love interests in the future, Lucifer hasnt had to court anyone before like ever. Not in the circumstances that they live in a big city like Hell. So when he finally ends up catching feelings, he has no idea. People around the hotel literally need to pick up on context clues for him and have an intervention to tell him he's in love again.
Even if he hasnt seen lillith in 7 years, their relationship had to be a drastic change compared to new love. I think that his love interest would also pick it up before he does, and you would let him work at his own pace. Fuck, it is so important that he goes through this process at his own pace.
With so much strain on his past relationships with loved ones, he fully gaslights himself into thinking he doesnt deserves and isnt allowed to feel affection anymore. I hate making characters i love suffer. But i feel like in his state of mind he'd go through depressive episodes and panic attacks, maybe some night terrors. Theyed be about his past and his subconscious would essentially tell him he has feelings again, and he shouldn't act them in case he scares you away and abandons you, like heaven. Or drives you away like lillith. Or purposely blocks you out like charlie. Mans is struggling i swear. He needs some comfort.
After finally coming to terms, hes a nervous wreck about every decision he makes. He'll constantly stare in the mirror in the mornings, making sure he looks his best, would plan mental scripts before even having a conversation with you, and would become a bumbling mess just trying to make jokes out of the situation, some base level actions, like how we saw in the show. He'll manage to finally ask you out, but all he really knows how to do is profess an undying love (i feel like his confession to lillith was hella dramatic) so it was a little awkward, but still cute. And of course you said yes.
So let's say its been 5+ years since he moved into the hotel, met you and finally managed to confess his feelings. When it comes to the actual relationship? You give him reassurance and support him through his mental episodes, and laugh at his jokes and praise him for everything he does. He has such intense imposture syndrome though, that even other demons have to reassure that theres no way you dont love him with all your being. Because it is literally obvious to everyone but him.
He's pretty good at doing the romantic fluff stuff in public, he loves to make a big show out of treating you like royalty and even trying to embarrass you when you become close enough. He's always more charasmatic in public, it seems easier than doing that alone.
Not in a negative way, but Lucifer is so never to be alone with you. You take the lead a bit more in those scenarios, suggesting ideas like movies or just coming up with small talk yourself. He needs someone who'll be patient with him. Being alive for millions of years AND being left or shamed by all your loved ones during that time is literally the definition of Truama.
Of course he's been bottling all that shit up, he has no one to confide with. There's no one who's been alive and witnessed it all the way he has. So bless you for loving and caring for him even without understanding all hes been through.
You'll have some rough patches, where this emotional side locks him away from you and everyone else. It might be a few days before you see him. He'll lock himself in his office, pumping out ducks by the dozen just to keep himself from sleeping, because he's scared he'll have night terrors if he feels asleep. He's in a constant loop;
"what if i fucked up?"
"what if i try to talk about it and then they realize how bad i fucked up?"
"what if that's enough of a reason for them to leave me?"
"what if i scare them away?"
"what if that fucks this up?"
"what if i fucked up.. Again..?"
After he leaves his office, youre excited to see him out and about, but you cant make a big deal out of it. You have to speak to him calmly, make sure he's physically okay before talking to him about his thought process. It might take awhile, but he'll eventually trust you enough to open up. And of course it'll never be bad enough for you to leave him, he's just struggling.
Physical Contact:
It takes him an even longer time to become physical with you. He hasnt been intimate for over a decade at this point, but as soon as he becomes comfortable with little affections like hand holding, cuddling, wrapping his arms around your waist, and kissing? Hoo boy, he melts after your first kiss. It couldve been even a small peck and he would still become a nervous wreck just trying to ask for more.
He'll ask for physical touch more than provide it at first. You'll give him a quick kiss and he'll look up at you super eager just like, "another?" He'll grow into tastful pda's, linking arms, quick hugs and smooches, holding hands all that.
He becomes putty in your hand when you're alone though. You'll nudge him to lean against your shoulder or even lay his head in your lap while youre lounging or watching movies. He becomes so relaxed in your presence, that you'll want to suddenly peck him just to see his suddenly flustered reaction.
You'd give him massages that he would always be hesistant over. He was always a little nervous that he wasnt giving enough to you, but you were quick to assure him that wasnt the case. You'd straddle his hips while giving him a slowww massage. It starts with light touches, tracing your fingers over his shoulder blades and spine. You'd trace your fingers over his chest when you would cuddle too, depending on the position. Or stroke his back sweetly. It was enough of a distraction to keep his mind occupied, away from any spiraling thoughts he might be having.
He purrs. Convince me that he doesnt purr. (You cant)
Being secluded for so long probably means that he doesnt fly as much as he used to. It was probably a passion of his, and he was especially delighted to share it with lillith and charlie.
So during those 7 years he barely flew, he also didnt take care of his wings. I feel like theyre something to be summoned, so they arent constantly tucked into his back. You'd basically scold him sometimes to just let you clean his wings.
You'd do it in like a spring-type bathhouse that Lucifer would have in his castle somehow. It was one of the first intimate moments he's experienced in years, so he was generally going insane. Feeling your hands and a little comb rake through the feathers on his giant wings? You'd have to tap his shoulder sometimes to keep him from falling asleep to the relaxation alone. After the first time, the water you used was pretty dirty and he had a lot of loose feathets that were combed out. Damn, he needed this.
Intimacy:
After awhile, you sit down and would have a discussion about being intimate in bed. Lucifer would be absolutely nervous about overstepping by asking this, (even though you've been together for about a year at this point). He would use his mental scripts and basically practice what he wanted to say.
It would mainly be him saying he wants to do this because he loves you and youve done so much for him that he wants to give back to you in this way. It would consist of him saying its okay if you dont want to, or if you ever want to stop to just say so. But of course you want to, how could you not?
It would start slow, he actually tries taking the lead in this specific situation. He would kiss you first, his lips trembling at the thought that this is actually happening. Feeling his nerves, you'd cup his face and stroke his cheeks with your thumbs lightly. That will help him ease up enough to start letting the passion take over more.
He'd become more confident in slipping his tongue into your mouth and placing his hands on your hips to pull you closer to him. Lucifer would get lost in the moment, pulling you to straddle his lap as he kissed and licked and bit his way across both your shoulders and down to the softeness of your breast. After leaning back to look at the damage his eyes would become increasingly wide, looking up at you with a flustered expression. Seeing you losing it as much as he was, gave him enough courage to keep up at it.
He would almost hesistantly take a hold of your breasts and would massage them softly, running his thumbs across your nipples and becoming absolutely delighted at the reaction you gave. The adrenaline from the pleasure would make you start grinding against his lap, which would make lucifer's hands on your hips pull away for a moment and make his breath stutter. Lucifer would look you up and down as if he didnt know what to do next, studying your body with darting eyes. You'd press a small kiss on his forehead before guiding his hands back onto your hips with yours, keeping your eyes on him the entire time.
"Are you okay, Luci?" He would gulp before nodding his head and turning ridiculously red across his face, maybe from the idea of what was to come, maybe just from your voice alone. You'd keep your hands ontop of his at your hips as you'd keep moving, letting out breathy moans. He would be holding his breath without realizing, an absolute nervous wreck just from the view.
He would already be hard just from the previous make out session, so this would cause him to lean his back against the bed, his strength giving out. You'd keep up at it, feeling his hips jolt up to meet yours at times.
He was a sweaty, twitching mess in front of you and you hated to admit how much that excited you.
His scripted plan was immediately forgotten, but he was quick to remember that he wanted to please you.
He'd snap out of his state of intense pleasure, to carefully switch positions, him looking over you with your back against the bed.
You both discuss it, of course, attempting to set boundaries before hand. Even just the tender discussion would get him riled up. So he'd lean foward and kiss you again, showing off his forked tongue before peppering kisses down your entire body, until he was close enough to let his hot breath heat up your folds.
You'd feel his nervous breath on you before delving in. He would be hesistant of course, but would be quick to get used to your entrance after running his tongue across your entirety multiple times. Lucifer loves providing pleasure this way, so his brain immediately knew what to do once the nerves past. He was quick to take a tight hold onto your thighs to keep you in place as he entered you with his demonic lengthy tongue. He would look up at you as he sort of aimlessly dug around at first, waiting for a reaction. Once he'd see you dip your head back with a muffled moan, he would close his eyes to focus all his attention to that one spot. He'd reach his thumb around to circle and massage your clit that he would find far too quickly. You'd arch your back and try to get more friction against his tongue, but it's easy to forget that he is quite literally the strongest being in Hell. You weren't going anywhere.
He'd love feeling your hands in his hair and would absolutely lose it feeling you pull hard when he'd hit just the right spot. As soon as he set a steady thythm and was hearing your voice become more unhinged, he'd speed up to an extent that you didn't realize was possible after going for so long. You discussed cumming before and he made it very clear that he was okay with you finishing on his face. Fuck, he wanted it. You still warned him, moaning out his name to get his attention, "I-I'm almost there- K-Keep doing that.. like that..! Luci-" you'd almost direct him though the whole process, but were quick to become a moaning mess unable to communicate with words. You'd reach your limit and he would let you buck up into his face this time, loosening his grip on your thighs. He'd pull away after licking you clean, sending overstimulated pleasure across your entire body, with a line of your juices following his tongue as he lifted his head. He would pant with his tongue still sticking out of his mouth, and even through hazy eyes you loved seeing his demonic tongue and thinking about how it just drove you to climax.
Things would switch up again, and you'd sit him against the back of the bedframe. you'd have another quick discussion before seating yourself slowly on his length, which had been throbbing for any contact since the night started. The first few times, he'd do his best not to cum immediately. He hadn't been touched like this in a while, after all. You'd only begin to move once you made sure he was okay since his struggle was written all over his face.
The moment you began to keep a steady space, he would jut his hips upwards, becoming needy to feel this sensation he hadn't felt in over a decade. The first time didn't last long. It was sweet, and he would constantly moan out your name and babble on about how much he loves you. The entire time, you'd be praising him through every move until he was going too fast for you to get a sentence out.
He'd cum inside of you, another previously discussed topic. You essentially had to beg to convince him it was okay. You'd collapse onto his chest, a position he didnt see often. While the two of you always cuddled, you were so focused on making sure he was comfortable, Lucifer realized you didnt often get the chance to just relax on top of him. So after realizing that? Aftercare was amazing.
He'd let you sit with him inside you for a while, before pulling you off and immediately cleaning you up. Some nights, when he felt especially dominant, he would lap up his own cum from your incredibly sensitive cunt. He would swallow some of it, but was mainly pushing anything that dripped out back into your entrance.
After cleaning you up, he would wiggle his way back underneath you and pull you onto his chest, enjoying taking care of you the way you took care of him.
After the first night, lucifer would be much more confident. He'd have that healthy glow, but would be more assertive during meetings, more communicative and wouldnt shut others out as often. It really helped him realize how much you gave to him, and he was determined to give all that and more back to you.
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chrissturnsgirlll222 · 3 months
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second, never first
part one | part two | part three | part four
chris x fem!reader
summary - you grew up hating one guy all of high school but suddenly become close friends, but as time goes on feelings develop, only its one sided.
warnings - underage drinking, throwing up, use of y/n, BOYS (no smut… for now lol and yes i am 18) currently not proofread or written with pristine punctuation
word count - 2500+?? (i know its long but i had a bunch of ideas for the beginning)
this is also my first story so pls be kind :) also just wanted to mention that i wouldn’t have the courage to write and post if it werent for other writers on this app so i would just like to tag and thank a few accounts who inspired me to write<3
@lovingmattysposts @flowerxbunnie @strniohoeee @lacysturniolo @strawberrysturniolo @flynnriderishot @stuniolobbg 
~
for as long as i could remember, being the second option was all i knew. just always being the backup, never the go to.
this constant course of events led to my passion of reading and writing, pretty much consuming myself with content or sources that provided me with a sense of belonging, or just putting myself into a different reality.
i always had been drawn to romance. its a un-comforting comfort for me, if that makes sense. i love reading about it and watching movies about it but love just seemed so out of reach. im sure many people feel this way but i just believe there are certain people in the world that just go through life without any sort of romantic experiences. now while that may be true i also think thats just something i made up in my head to comfort myself from the fact that i have never had a single romantic experience, ever. i mean im 17 years old and havent even had my first kiss. hell i havent even held hands with a boy.
that of course all changed during my senior year.
-
“oh my god look at what cody sent me” anna says.
anna is my best friend, though at times she felt like my biggest competition. she is everything im not. constantly talking to boys, what people consider ‘boy pretty’, very out going and popular. the fun one.
i look over at her phone to see a text from one of the many boys shes talked to in the past year “i thought you guys were done?” i say
“yeah were not talking like that anymore but i still talk to him here and there” she says
“i dont know if thats the best idea, i mean if you guys keep talking hes probably going to get the wrong impression”
“your such a buzz kill sometimes” she says slightly annoyed. i stay silent. I might sound like a complete bitch here but when your friend is constantly talking or complaining about guy, a, b and c you eventually get bored and exhausted of hearing about it, I try my hardest to be understanding when she brings up guys, but I’m apparently never supportive enough to her standards. I suppose she wants me to be there and give her advice but what do I have to offer to that conversation?
we were driving through the school parking lot to park in our usual spot next to chris.
chris is, well complicated. ive known him since 7th grade and hated him up until about 3 months ago when senior year started. the friendship started off with him just parking next to my car everyday and him just pestering me all the time but the longer we kept parking together, the more we grew to enjoy our casual conversations.
we both roll down our windows.
“morning” i say waving at him, anna does the same “hey, i wanna skip first block if you guys are down” he says “you know i would never say to to that” anna says “ehh i dont know about today i have a bio project i need to work on and didnt getting the planning sheet so i should probably head in” i say
“alright, anna come on i wanna get mcdonalds” chris says tapping on his passenger seat.
“looks like its just us this morning! y/n me and chris can just go get food and ill bring you back something for lunch” anna says turning to me.
“ill see you guys at lunch” i say grabbing my bag and locking my car doors as anna gets in to chris’ car and they drive off.
if you havent caught the weird passive tone from anna, thats how she was. no matter how much i tried she always had to be the centre of attention . i honestly dont even think she does it on purpose. i love her and she is my best friend but i just find her insufferable at times, its just who she is. chris is a great friend to me but i always caught the vibe that chris liked anna or at least thought she was hot. which is also why i think he treats her with more respect than me.
now when i said we grew to like eachother i left out a slight detail.
even though i hated chris for most of high school for the way he treated me and constantly teased me, i couldnt help myself from starring at him from time to time as he talked or even looking at his hands. not only was he visually pleasing he could be really sweet and the conversations we shared were really meaningful at times. was he attractive, yes. was he a complete asshole to me for years and still hasnt apologized, yes. did i completely fall head over heels for him when he began to show me his nice side, sadly yes.
its so cliche but i fell for my “bully” so to speak. i hated myself for it but what i hated even more was how much i let my feelings for him effect how i saw myself even more as the second option. if it came down to it and me anna and him were the only people in the world he would still fuck anna before he even though about kissing me.
i know that i might only feel this way towards him simply because hes the only male thats shown me any attention at all. though it hasnt always been positive or romantic it was still something that i had never experienced from a male before.
like i said, second option.
-
i finish up my final class and head out to my car and wait for anna who is doing god knows what considering i drive her home everyday after school. while waiting for anna, chris gets into his car and starts it to heat up as it is the beginning of winter. i watch what hes doing through his car window as he scrolls on his phone for a sec and then storms into the backseat of my car, always the backseat.
my head whips around to look at him and he looks annoyed. “why do you look mad” i say. “look at what this bitch said to me” he says leaning up to the middle console shoving his phone in my face and i read texts from a girl hes talking to.
friday 3:14pm
alice: chris i cant keep talking to you
chris: what do you mean
alice: i mean that i cant keep talking to you what were doing is messing with my head and i dont want to be a victim of one of your fuck and dumps
chris: im sure i have many other girls who would kill to be in your position
alice: then go have them i dont want to be apart of your sick and twisted hookups
“ok wow” i say my eyes wide “i didnt even know you were talking to alice”
“well now you do, and im not anymore apparently” he says throwing his arms up as he sinks in to the middle seat. “we have been fucking since the halloween party, remember when i kissed her infront of you?” he says in a duh tone.
ah yes halloween. the night i went home crying after said kiss was shared infront of my face.
“yes i remember” i say blankly.
“we were supposed to hangout tonight but she decided to blow me off, i was ready to get my dick wet but i guess ill just have to be fucking boring alone” he says as i make a disgusted face.
“well i dont know what to te-“ i was cut off by anna coming into the car.
“ok sorry i took so long but i was just getting the details for a party tonight!” she says out of breath. chris sits up at the news, “maybe i will get my dick wet then.” he says smirking and jokingly raising his eyebrows.
“what? alice blew you off already.” anna says turning to chris. i dont bother questioning why anna knew and i didnt because im sure i know answer.
“yep and im scoring tonight.” he says fake punching the air as me and anna giggle.
-
anna and i finished getting ready at her place, her wearing jeans and a hot pink tank top and me in black jeans and a white long sleeve crop top. i stare at myself in the mirror when i hear annas phone go off with a text from chris.
friday 10:27pm
chris: here
“anna! chris is here!” i yell grabbing my phone and my drinks for the night from my bag and start making my way downstairs as i hear her close behind me. i tie up my shoes as i hear her grab her drinks from her fridge and say bye her parents. i wave goodbye to her parents as well and we make our way out to chris’ car.
upon entering were greeted by matt, chris’ brother in the passenger seat.
“hey matt i didnt know you were coming out tonight!” i say smiling at him as loud music blasts from chris’ speakers.
“yeah nicks also going so i just tagged along, plus i need to drive you guys home since chris is drinking tonight.” he says lightly punching chris in the arm. “oh yeah, speaking of nick where is he?” i say. “nicks already there he came with his friends.” i nod in response and sit back starting to chug down one of my drinks. i may be a buzz kill in annas eyes but i knew how to party and loved drinking with my friends.
matt is chris’ triplet brother along with nick. i never really got to know his brothers all that well, i just know that matt has become a lot more comfortable around me and anna as we have started to spend more time with chris.
once we arrive to the party me and anna walk around to see whos there and we meet up with some of our other friends. i can see chris from across the room laughing and talking to nick and matt.
the night goes on and i finish my fourth cooler of the night and head out to the car to grab another. when i step outside the cool air hits me and i instantly regret the 2 shots of tequila i had on top of the fruity coolers i had throughout the night. shivering and rubbing my arms i continue walking to chris’ car to sit down for a sec and when i reach the backseat i see chris’ naked back and steamy windows. i take a step back once i realize whats happening.
i knew he was going to end up fucking someone tonight since thats what he said his plan was but i did not need to fucking see it. hes not mine for the taking obviously, but seeing him constantly with girls just hurt.
i turn around to walk back into the house but suddenly feel sick to my stomach. i hunch over and throw up in the middle of the road. i cough and collapse to my knees continuing to gag as strings of spit come out of my mouth. i hear a car door shut behind me as i try to stand up wiping my mouth. i feel arms grab my waist and pick me up bridal style and thats the last thing i remember before everything went black.
-
i wake up in a car with the same clothes on from the party, still drunk, my hair crispy and the smell of cologne. i look around me and realize its chris’ backseat im laying in but its still pitch black out.
i hear faint voices outside and the door my head is resting on swings open and my head flys back.
“holy shit chris are you trying to kill her” i hear matts voice. “shut up, i didn’t know you put her head there.” chris says as he starts pulling me out of the car.
“chris” i say quietly. “holy shit your awake” he says leaving me to sit up. “yeah i am, what happened. i think i- blacked out.” i say slurring my words.
“well i was in the middle of getting with summer-“ he says getting on his knees to talk to me better “and i just heard gagging outside the car and it was bothering me and i looked outside the car and you were bent over on the middle of the road throwing up. i just grabbed you and told summer to fuck off and put you in the car while i grabbed matt and anna.”
“oh my god” i say as i nod off.
“woah woah stay with us here, chris lets get her inside now” matt says placing my head back up.
“where is anna?” i question.
“we had to drop her home and bring you to our house since she said her parents couldn’t see you like this.”
“of course” i say
classic anna.
“what time is it?” i ask rubbing my eyes.
“2:44am” chris grunts taking me out of the car.
“ok lets get you inside” chris says pulling me up to stand. “you think you can walk inside?” he says still holding me up. “ill try.”
he lets go of me and i slowly make it up to the front of their house but start wobbling once i reach the steps and feel both matt and chris grab either side of me and help me up to the front door. matt holds on to my arm as he uses the house key to get inside and i walk in.
they walk me over to the living room couch and i slump over resting my head on the arm rest of the couch.
“where is she going to sleep?” matt says. “my room obviously.” chris says as i smile to myself.
“come on y/n” he says picking me up again and bringing me to his room to lay on his bed. “im gonna give you clothes to change into since yours are covered in vomit.” he says opening drawers. i nod my head as my eyes close.
he tosses me a big white shirt with some graphic designing on it “can you dress yourself or-“ i cut him off “yea- yeah i got it” i say sitting up right and hiccup.
he turns around so i can change into the shirt. i begin taking my long sleeve off and i get one arm off before i get stuck. “chris, help” i say quietly and he turns around to see me with my arms slouched and my eyes closed. he rushes over “lift up your arms” he says pulling my hands up. i hold them up as he grabs the hem of my shirt and slowly pulls up. i admire chris as he pulls off the shirt completely throwing my shirt across the room all while being careful not to look at me.
he grabs his shirt and places it gently over my head and then threading my arms through the shirt. “wait” he says walking over to his closet, grabbing a pair of his sweatpants and walking over to me with them. i sit there with my eyes closed smiling as i had thought about the scenario of him taking my clothes off many times, just not the me being so drunk i cant dress myself part.
he takes my jeans off and helps me in to his sweatpants still being respectful and not starring at my body. “ill be right back just sit here im going to get you water and an advil.” he say as he walks out of the room. i just sit there, my eyes still closed, still smiling and nod at his sentence.
i lay back down on his bed and wait as i hear him rushing upstairs talking to matt and nick before walking back in to the room sitting down at the end of his bed. “sit snd open up.” i obliged to his words before he places two advils on my tongue.
“im going to fill up your mouth with water so don’t breathe.” he says opening up a water bottle and slowly pouring some in to my mouth while my head tilts upwards slightly. he watches me with concern as i swallow the water.
“please never get drunk like this ever again, you really freaked everyone out kid.” he says. i don’t respond and nod at his words.
kid, the all too familiar nickname chris gave me. it always made me feel weird when he called me this as if he was an authority figure or something.
i lay back down on his bed and close my eyes and quickly drift off to sleep. the last thing i remember from that night is him crawling in to his bed next to me and turning off his light.
“goodnight kid”
-
thank you for reading!!!
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simplydnp · 21 days
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idk why this matters to me but in the last few months they've been acknowledging so many things I never ever thought they would. pinof and the touching. the phude multiple times. dapc slime (ok they had merch to sell for that one but still)
no but actually. phil literally said 'i thought we weren't acknowledging it' about the phude and now they just bring it up all the time.
pinof reacts... i still can't believe we're in a post pinof-reacts universe. how did that happen. i was changed permanently--like something shuffled in my dna when i got the notif for pinof reacts 1. this is not a physical reaction but a chemical one that cannot be undone. for something that was so... sacred. and integral. to their existence and history. pinof wasn't generally talked about unless it was pinof time. and even then it was 'it'll be up soon' or 'we just posted it' and then Never talked about outside of that. especially not the first one! we freak out about the We Know You Know in the newsletter but it's Always been like that with pinof 1. so to see them--new (& natural 🥺) hair for them both, in a house they bought and built together, in the first few months of giving the gaming channel a second chance--reflect on how it all began? absolutely devastating. and to lean into moments and discuss them in new ways. in territory previously not breached! the 'they're toUching'?!?!? the '11 hour fuck session'!?!? the '£9000 champagne'?!?!? like hey we're not supposed to talk about that, dan and phil might see!! shhh!! but they're the ones saying it!! absolutely wild.
in a way, it had to happen. especially with where we're at now (them literally selling merch of them holding hands). in order for them to move beyond that... mindset? i guess? that a lot of fans had, they had to defang it. i really see it as one of the biggest walls they've broken down in the way they communicate with us. the 'hey. it's okay. we've seen it. it's not a big deal. we will absolutely make fun of you for it though. but we're good.'
i'm just really curious whose idea it was. (lbr it was probably phil given dans not a react kinda guy. but i'd be lying if i said i didn't want to be in the room where it happened when they talked about actually doing it or not, and what it would mean) (big ad revenue thats for sure 🤣 get it kings)
i will never be able to get phil's 'they touched' out of my head and at this point i wouldn't want to. it's absolutely earned. and i guess it makes me a masochist to enjoy the psychic damage it inflicts on me, but such is life i suppose.
the crafts mention really surprised me! i had contemplated a few different scenarios in how they'd go about it, and i'll be honest i feel like they could've committed to the bit a little more but they're forgiven. like what about glitchy interstitials! cuts to the merch website. found footage inserted between sections! i recognize they don't want to 'scare' their usual audience wirh sudden cuts to intense/graphic content but my immersionnn. absolutely shattered by 'oh we have new merch now btw'. cmon boys you love to lie to us. say theres merch up but you dont know where it came from. just that we should buy it 👀 or idk, something clever. and i recognize i may sound like a spoilt brat bc i just got a 14 minute long masterpiece of an unexpected dapc revival, but my immersion. i mean i already bought the merch before they shilled it anyways so it didn't influence me regardless 🤣
ultimately we really are in a new era. even beyond just the revival. i think they're really finding their stride--not only in their content (evidenced by a semi-regular schedule) but also creatively, in doing what they want to do, how they want to do it, and truly not giving that much of a fuck anymore. and i'm really happy for them. phil talked a bit about this in his 'rating my icons' video, where he's kind of decided he doesn't care what people on twitter think, and how it's been good for him, and i think we're seeing that reflected in not only his content, but also the gaming channel. they play what they want. they say what they want. and it's just fun. dan going on the record to say he's really enjoying it makes me so happy to hear, because literally december 2022 he believed he'd disappear after WAD. and now, instead, he gets to play games and make stupid jokes and smile and laugh multiple times a week, and he's really happy about it. he gets to be silly and goofy and crude without having to Stress about it. i keep saying it but they're so settled now. and as someone who's followed them through big changes and turbulent times, getting to see them happy after everything... it brings a lot of hope. and i know theyre millionaires. but there's something to looking at someone you fell in love with 15 years ago the same then as you do now. but instead of it being something scary, something you have to hide, something that feels like it can consume you and everything you have--it gets to be something beautiful. and regular. and embraced. you've read this far you get to listen to me wax poetic about them.
we've been thoroughly boiled and maybe, just maybe, it's warming our hearts too.
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burntb4bydoll · 11 months
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I love your writing soo much it hurts. 🥲
Can you please write like a 2000s bill smut or fluff ( whatever you feel comfortable with), where they build a pillows and blankets fort together and they end up falling asleep cuddled. And the rest of the band takes photos and mocks them the next day.
At this point I need fics to breathe. Thanks ✌
Thank you so much beautiful<3
This is such a cute idea! Im gonna do fluff for the people that dont like smut, cuz i feel like i dont post a lot of only fluff fics!
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Bill Kaulitz x reader
Warnings: friends to loverssss🤭, nothing else really just a lot of cute stuff
When Bill had invited you to come over, you didn’t think this is what you guys would end up doing. You’re currently helping Bill set up a massive blanket fort in his living room. He originally invited you over to watch a movie, but after you arrived he decided that he wanted to make it more fun by making a fort. Even though you didn’t expect it, you were having so much fun hanging out alone with him. After you guys finished setting up the fort, Bill let you pick out a movie and you laid next to each other to watch it.
“This is fun. We should hangout alone more often. I feel like we only ever spend time with the band, I like having this type of one on one time together.” Bills attention left the tv screen to look over at you as you started talking. “I mean don’t get me wrong, I love hanging out with them too but you know…”
“I know. I like this too. I’ve actually been trying to hangout with you alone for a while now, but uhh things never really go as planned…” he trailed off, his eyes moving down to break your intense eye contact. He awkwardly shifted for a minute before turning to fully face you. His head still laid on the pillow, but now he was looking at you. “Um..I actually invited you here to tell you something. Its kinda important to me…” you turned to face him too. Now you were only a few inches away from one another, you could practically feel his uneven breath hitting you.
“Whats up? You seem nervous. You know I won’t judge you, Bill.” Your hand comes up to hold his hand comfortingly. He takes a shaky breath in and stares into your eyes,
“Y/n, I really like you. And not as a friend. I wanna be your boyfriend so bad. Not a day goes by where I don’t dream about being with you.” Your eyes go wide, inhaling sharply.
“Bill..I like you too. I was literally going to tell you tonight.” He looks at you with a blank expression for a moment before giggling loudly. His adorable laugh made you giggle too. Once you two calm down a little he starts talking again,
“Oh my god I was so nervous! I can’t believe I was so stressed for nothing!” He laughs softly, leaning closer to you. You smile and shake your head, just happy that you don’t have to hide your feelings anymore. “Can I…can I kiss you?” You nod eagerly as his hands cup your face gently. He slowly leans in, placing a experimental kiss on your lips. Once you both relax a bit, the kiss turns passionate and intimate. He pulls away and gives one last peck on your lips before tucking his head underneath yours and holding your waist tightly. Before you knew it, both of you fell asleep in each others arms.
You woke up the next morning to hearing some snickers and giggles. Sitting up slightly, you groggily rubbed your eyes and looked around the room. When your eyes finally focused you realized what was happening. Bill was curled up against your side with his head laying on your shoulder. His hair was messy and he was drooling a little. The rest of the band was standing above you guys, taking pictures and laughing. Bill stirred and sat up, groaning at his brothers loud laughter.
“What are you guys doing here? You’re so annoying!” Bill grumbles, swatting away the camera that Gustav had shoved in his face.
“What are we doing here?” Tom exclaimed, “What are you guys doing here? We’re not the ones all cuddled up and being all lovey-dovey!” Georg and Gustav bursted into another fit of giggles, looking at the pictures they had took of you.
“Hey! You better delete those! I did not agree to have my picture taken, especially while I’m sleeping!” Bill jumped up and started to chase Georg around, trying to retrieve his camera. You giggled a little and laid back down.
“Its too damn early for this. Fuck you guys I’m going back to sleep.”
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firesnap · 2 months
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this might sounds stupid, but i guess its one of the ways im trying to handle the situation.
i dont want to support W, i don't want it to affect me so badly, and i also don't want to try and make myelf more comfortable and do nothing
but at the same time, the music he and the band have made mean So Much to me. they helped me get thoughts lines up that were jumbled in my head, they made me feel heard and seen and like i wasnt alone. and the community that came with it, the creativity, the joy. it hurts that that stuff is tainted now
what would you reccomend in the area of continuing/discontinuing to listen to their music? like i said, i feel so guilty that im even asking this, but it still means so much to me, more than i wish it did
i hope everyone going through this too is doing alright, we'll be okay
There's two camps on this -- that once the music is out in the world it's the worlds. You divorce it from the artist and you do with it what you like.
The other is that the artist is tied to the music regardless and that listening to it is a tacit acceptance of the behaviors of the creator.
I think the answer is somewhere in the middle, because I don't think we should financially support the band anymore (and I say this as someone who has given them. a lot. of money), but I do agree that once a song is in the world it is no longer the artist's. People talk about death of the author with stories, but I think that applies to songwriters tenfold more than stories. Lyrics are often vague pieces of poetry and music itself doesn't have an agenda..
Some of my best friends absolutely love The Beatles. John Lennon was a pretty horrible guy. I don't think everything John Lennon touched is ruined. Same with. Well. So many musicians. A ton of 80's bands, David Bowie, Led Zeppelin, The 1979, The Beach Boys, Oasis... I could go on and on.
Personally, I don't think I can ever hear a song from MSR ever again. It already bordered far too intimate and revealing his relationship with Shelby and now, knowing what we know, I just can't do it.
The band's songs. I mean, what can we do. I heard one of their songs on the radio yesterday. I don't see myself going back to listening to them even casually, but I think as long as you aren't financially supporting them it's no different than having 100's other musicians on a playlist that have done bad things.
Give yourself a break for now though. Take a break from it and clear your head and see if, with some distance, it's even still something you want to hear. You'd be surprised how with some distance you realize that you're clinging more to memories than the songs.
And if you find that's not the case, it's songs. You download them on your phone and they're not his anymore.
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abilouwrites · 7 months
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GYM
Jamie Drysdale
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I don’t know why, or how Jamie manages to do it but every morning at 5:30 he wakes up and goes to the gym. Not practice but just the gym.
“Babes, you want to come to the gym with me, I think we can get coffee on the way back” He whispers in my ear; sweeping the hair back and kissing just above my temple.
“Mmm.. I guess” I usually whine and complain but today I feel like going. Usually because I don’t get to spend a lot of time with him.
I love the car rides with him; they remind me so much of the airport drives I grew up on. While he drinks preworkout I stick to water.
While Jamie doesn’t take long with his stretches while I take a little longer. I watch him as he does his squat warmups and eventually I join him asking how much he wants to add onto his set, “just give me a ten and I think I’ll be good and I can watch you do yours” he tells me as he sets his tack and I move to grab the weights off and then add it to his set.
“Cute I love this pookie” I Tell him; swiftly kissing his cheek before continuing a stretch as I keep an eye on him.
“I still don’t understand why you call me pookie all the time” He says tucking his head and racking the weights.
“Because, you are my pookie” I tell him; I take the weights off and slowly warm up before adding some simple 25s.
He deadlifts, I squat. Obviously he lifts more than me but that’s simply because I’m not an athlete anymore. I’m enjoying my life, studying to become a doctor. Watching my pretty boyfriend play hockey.
I don’t like working out for too long, and neither does he on the days I join him and even now I sometimes still feel guilty that he’d cut part of his workout short but he says he just likes spending all the time with me as he can before a roadie
I drive on the ride home as Jamie does some work stuff that I don’t ever really understand even though he’s tried to explain it a million times.
I always shower first when we get home because while Jamie showers I do my skincare and make breakfast.
Eggs with toast and avocado, I brew coffee for us and he steps out with sweats on and his hair all damp in the way that makes me want kiss his face all over.
He’ll kiss my cheek and take a plate.
It’s strange usually we don’t talk during breakfast, not because our lives are uninteresting but because it’s hard to decide what to talk about first.
(I dont know how to end this)
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thewertsearch · 11 months
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AC: :33 < sorry to bother you again! AC: :33 < is AC: :33 < um [...] AC: :33 < he available? [...] TT: What is the name of this mystery fellow you seek? AC: :33 < aaaaa youre just teasing me now! AC: :33 < i f33l bad about bugging you about it [...] AC: :33 < i miss pounce a lot :(( AC: :33 < and talking to him reminds me of her
Aw, Nepeta. :(
Still, there are ways to solve this. Maybe Rose could give her the code for Jaspersprite's pendant - or just give him his own computer, like Davesprite's iShades.
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You won't need it anymore. It served you well. You suppose there are a lot of things you've outgrown, now that you think about it.
...his own computer, Rose! I said his own computer!
Rose is abandoning her primary communication device. Obviously she has others, but her attitude here is still making me nervous - especially considering how heavy-handed her phrasing is.
Who or what do you think you've outgrown, Rose?
JASPERSPRITE: Did you learn to play the rain rose? ROSE: Not yet, Jaspers. ROSE: It's a little complicated, but I believe I've embarked on another quest, one which surpasses the scope of the objectives local to this planet.
I'm on record as being fully on board with Rose's skepticism about her Quest - but she should be equally skeptical about her new quest. Both are sponsored by suspicious entities with unclear motives, and I'm not sold on either of them.
ROSE: I'm saying there's something more important to accomplish now. Something more important than creating a universe. JASPERSPRITE: Oh thats ok rose i wouldnt want you to feel obligated to do that.
That's a strange sentiment, coming from Jaspers. Sprites generally echo the game's expectations for its Players, so it's odd that a game centered around fate, destiny and temporal obligation would tell Rose that her ultimate goal is optional. After all, she was made to create a universe.
Maybe Jaspers just loves Rose so much that he's on board with her rebellion, even though he doesn't understand it.
JASPERSPRITE: I think that winning this game and getting the prize is up to you and your friends. JASPERSPRITE: You get to decide whether or not you feel its right to do that and what kind of prize you want to make!
Is Jaspers implying that Sburb's prize doesn't have to be a universe? That winning the game can mean something else, instead?
Rose thinks her only options are to submit to the game's whims, or fight it tooth and nail. Perhaps that's a false dichotomy, and it's possible to fall somewhere in the middle of the spectrum - some sort of alternate win condition that saves their doomed session.
Perhaps the game has recognized that Rose is a renegade, and it's trying to show her that things aren't so black and white. Maybe Sburb is signaling that it's willing to negotiate.
JASPERSPRITE: Its part of becoming who youre supposed to become i think.
Damn it! Just as I'm starting to wonder if Sburb is more flexible than we thought, it tosses this line at us.
I don't like this sentiment. It stinks of Alpha, and it's exactly the kind of thing that will piss Rose off. She's rebelling against what she perceives to be her destiny - the last thing she wants to hear is that there's someone she's 'supposed' to become.
JASPERSPRITE: I dont know i hope im not being too pushy rose its not my place to be im just your cat! JASPERSPRITE: But the thing that made me how i am now seems to really want me to say this to you. JASPERSPRITE: Your quest is really important for you to do. JASPERSPRITE: Not really because thats how to get the prize. JASPERSPRITE: But because its what you need to do for yourself!
This isn't about the universe, says Sburb.
This is totally bizarre. I thought it was all about the universe, and the game's Players were just the mechanism for creating them. Even the Quests are just extended tutorials on how to terraform planets.
Do the Players have another role to play?
JASPERSPRITE: I love you rose! I always have even when you were a little girl and i was an alive cat. ROSE: Thanks, Jaspers, that's nice to hear. ROSE: It's hard to remember, but I'm pretty sure I felt the same way back then. JASPERSPRITE: It was fun getting to be your cat again rose even if it was just for a little while and also while being a princess ghost. JASPERSPRITE: Bye rose! ROSE: See you, Jaspers! ROSE: If you see my mother in the course of your travels, tell her I said hello.
Alright, let's hit the pause button on the lore speculation. I need to grab some tissues :'(
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melancholysway · 1 year
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TMNT Headcanons: Japanese
For every installment of TMNT I’m providing why each turtle would speak/practice/appreciate Japanese, enjoy!
TMNT 2003
Leonardo
- speaking in Japanese strictly to speak formally to Splinter
- doesn’t curse
- nothing informal, iykyk
- I honestly think he would be great at writing kanji, I headcanon that Leonardo has the neatest handwriting out of his brothers
Raphael
- definetely uses that shit to degrade EVERYONE and EVERYTHING that pisses him off.
- You know that man gets mad at everything, even BUGS.
-Expect it to be very informal, likes to use it around Casey to confuse him
-can’t write it as good as Leo, but it’s legible & that’s what matters y’all
Donatello
- uses it to curse…but a little for the sake of speaking it just to speak it.
- Still working on informalities and formalities, but whatever
- not the best at writing it
-chicken scratch fr fr
- don’t ask him to write anything for you
-secretly uses duolingo, emotionally attached to the duo bird xoxo
Michelangelo
- uses it to curse
- can translate (when nobody asked,)
- also to joke around, observe:
Raph: *incoherent cursing in Japanese*
Mikey: so what he means to say is-
Leo: I know what he said!
TMNT 2007
Leonardo
-loves to describe different things using Japanese. Like, he'll compliment the weather or the way something looks
-liked to use it in South America to scare people into thinking it was a ghost
- sort of kind of writes it, not all the time, I think 2007!Leo would fuck up some Japanese poetry though <3
Raphael
-you guys remember his police radio right? Sometimes he'll go on there and talk in Japanese just to fuck with them.
-they dont know what he's saying
-observe the phrase Raph loves the most:
"クソ制服からゼリーを舐め続けろ、ろくでなし!"
-ill let you guys search that.
- uses it around Mikey to confuse him, but only for short phrases
-doesn’t write it as much, I headcanon he has the second best handwriting in this one since he’s canonically left handed, (I’m ambidextrous) but I speak for all left handed people that we dislike the lead stain on the side of our hands A LOT.
Donatello
-like raph, he uses it someitmes to fuck with the customers on the other line of his IT Tech Support job. If they're giving him a hard time, or being plain stupid, he'll start describing what to do to fix their problem in a different language.
-uses it freely, except one time he was helping a guy who was fluent in it.
-all it took was a "yokai" in response and Donnie was bamboozled.
-he doesn't use it as much on there anymore after that.
-definitely had one of those learn kanji books where you trace the symbols so he can better learn the linework
Michelangelo
-i like to think in this universe of tmnt, Mikey and Splinter watch J-dramas together
-its already mentioned that Splinter is into soaps, imagine him and Mikey watching a good old J-Drama from the 90s.
-Without english subtitles
-Splinter likes it that way, it's more dramatic
-has definitely taught some kids from the parties he hosted how to write pizza in Japanese
TMNT 2012
Leonardo
-okay, he definetely has watched Space Heroes in the Japanese Dub
-A1 voice acting, he loves it
-He sometimes like to say the orders in his head he says to his brothers in Japanese, to see if he still got his translating skills yk?
- would try and speak it around Karai to impress her no doubt
- called inanimate objects by their name in Japanese- couch: ソファー table: テーブル mutagen: 変異原, you get the gist yall
-while splinter was teaching them all how to read and write, Leo got his hands on some post-its and stuck them on every piece of furniture and machinery around the lair and wrote their name in kanji
-convinced that it works and don’t tell him otherwise
Donatello
-would 100% teach April a thing or two
-Master Splinter offered to teach April
-cue Donnie coming into the cut saying he could do it instead
-one on one study sessions with him and April, she enjoys it a lot
-donnie is actually a great teacher
-until he gets into the phonetic and semantics- ie; the science on why in the Japanese language they pronounce certain things the way they do
-she doesn't remember much about that part
- talks to himself while he’s working on an invention, sometimes to Timothy
-Timothy definitely doesn’t understand what the fuck he’s saying
Bayverse TMNT
Leonardo
-most likely uses it while on missions and fighting and in stealth mode, but mainly uses sign language during said stealth mode
-he practices his writing all the time, is really into line work and origins of the language/the evolution of it from ancient to modern Japanese
- enjoys reading it in his downtime, that man definitely has a stack of old Japanese literature that he likes to read!
Donatello
-Reddit man for the win
- anything about Japanese culture/aesthetics, he can answer!
-doesn’t speak it much, but he enjoys learning about the culture a lot!
-REALLY loves Japanese City Pop, probably bayverse Donnie’s favorite genre of music no doubt
-Donnie passes notes under the door of his lab to whoever’s passing by when he needs something, not a full sentence at all, just one word notes.
Observe:
After some loud knocking coming from the other side of the lab door, Leonardo comes to it as if it’s a habit at this point. He’s so used to Donnie not coming out his lab for hours, and he’s come accustomed to retrieving any item he needs from the “outside world.”
So when he sees the neatly placed slip of paper of “food!” written in chicken scratch kanji, he’s trudging his feet to the cupboard where Donnie’s secret stash of lab snacks are. Yes, a whole bin that’s labeled “lab snacks.” He reaches for the usual packet of strawberry frosted Pop-Tarts, noticing that there’s only one box left. He would have to ask April to get some again soon.
Leonardo wonders if he should attempt to toast them for Donnie, but as he glances at the silver toaster that Donnie fixed (again) a few nights ago, he thinks about how badly it would end and how pissed Donnie would get for having to fix it the 4th time this week. He picks out the aluminum wrapped strawberry Pop Tarts as is, placing the bin back in its secret place to where Mikey can’t see it.
Raphael
-likes the art aspect of Japanese culture, has the kanji for “family” etched on his shell
-since he knits in his past time, he makes small things that reflect the language or art in some way, whether it be making a cherry blossom rug for Splinter’s room, or making Mikey his requested mits for the winter time patrols with his name written in kanji
- like Donnie, he doesn’t verbally speak it, but incorporates it into his life in some way
-will engrave anything if his that he can with kanji
-since he can’t exactly get a tattoo, he reverts to engraving, hence his shell
Michelangelo
- 100% calls the pizza shop and orders in Japanese
-they don’t understand what he’s saying
-when the Hamato family is feeling some Japanese food, he hits them up and orders in Japanese, he gets all giddy when they respond back
Rise!TMNT
Leonardo
-him and Donnie argue in Japanese 110%
-he’s struggling with memorizing certain kanji symbols, so he’s using Rosetta Stone
-doesn’t like the Duo bird
-has a conspiracy theory that the Duo bird tracks his every move???
-will switch the TV to a J-Drama or put Splinter’s TV to the Japanese Dub version of whatever he’s watching just to fuck with him
-secretly enjoys said J-Dramas
-pretends to be leader and barks orders in Japanese
-yeah nobody listens to him
Donatello
-using his “platinum library card,” he loves those Japanese picture books of modern art
-DOES NOT lend them to Mikey, since he’s missing some now
-overdue library books because of this
-really enjoys those learn kanji trace workbooks, will trace the symbols with a purple colored pencil
-also, everything he writes will be in purple
-he doesn’t care what you think about that
Raphael
-calls animals by their name in Japanese
-cats, dogs, whatever! He’s naming them out loud
-had a pet parrot once that he got to speak back to him in Japanese
-he loved that
-until Leo got his parrot to curse in Japanese
-didn’t know how to make him stop, so he had to deal with that for a while
Michelangelo
-participates in changing the TV around to the Japanese Dub with Leo to mess with Splinter
-the cause of Donnie’s overdue books
-he really likes the art! Preferably the modern art
-100% prank calls people with Leo pretending to be foreign realtors & telling people they’re overdue on their car insurance
Masterlist
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rrat-king · 4 months
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walk with me bird,,, thinking about kristen's lack of self preservation especially in sophmore year- she does crazy shit again and again and it is funny but like. when you actually look at it, its like this elaborate performance. so much going on in kristen's brain, losing her family, (we know she's clearly still thinking about it with the start of sy being her returning to her brothers) losing her religion and then recreating it and still feeling lost.
all her life being full and told that this is the thing- that will protect you as long as you are good so kristen is good and then realizes oh. i was meant for something terrible actually, my church who vowed to protect me is actually trying to make me a hellmouth. like oh. great well i dont feel safe in that anymore, im always arguing with my parents because even they are still polluted with their religion but she lets it go she tries to find something else. and then she ends fy with her new religion and immediately doesnt like it, over the summer it still doesnt click and she changes it again, she puts her faith or even lack of it at the forefront as she does these insane choices, like a leap of faith. like oh someone has got to save me if i do this- surely someone will. (also pushing my agenda of kristen's faith eventually forming into believing in her friends bc they are the ones who always save her not the gods even though i do love cass)
like ally talking about chaos not being cute anymore really makes me think of all this- because it's like kristen being like oh well if it goes wrong than at least it's some sort of relief from this pressure of being something and at least im not plagued with thinking about not being good enough for my own parents. like her being so not aggressive but trying to counter sandralynn too- like not wanting to view her as a parental figure but as a person. kristen like almost tries to parent her in a way which sounds weird but its very like she can't turn it off in her head because she's been raised with expectation so she does feel on the same level as adults when in reality she is not but kristen believes like oh i can solve this here maybe u shouldnt be doing this thing in her relationship. i think part of it is kristen not wanting to see a parent become better and then have to wonder why her's didn't. like was she not enough for them to want to me better. it's so complex i adore kristen's character and it kinda surprises me how often she becomes very 2d in the fandom but alas, many thoughts about her
i am absolutely walking with you. i love what your talking about with her dynamic with sandra lynn (which. i will always be crazy about her and sandra lynn they are just both so intersting in thier relationships) but yeah it makes a lot of sense that she doesn't know how to properly interact with her if you think about the amount of pressure she has been given to be a spiritual leader through church or if you hc her as a parentified older sister to her little brothers (which i do personally) so she's not thinking about her interaction with sandra lynn as like, a regular adult cuz she hasn't really had those interactions before, especially when it comes to an adult not trusting her.
and i think that's why she just feels so insane in sophmore year, jsut like, she's going from something super rigid to something where it feels like she can do anything and that's fucking scary. like she has a place to stay but she doesn't really have any parents to answer to, she has a god but she has so much doubt it doesn't feel reliable, all she really has as stability is her friends and her girlfriend, and i feel like she is just incredibly reckless cuz like, she's doing better but its almost like she has nothing to lose? but she does. and she did, and i think that was what beardsley was saying about the chaos not being cute anymore, like kristen was acting like she was invinvible at times and that not only got her hurt, but also those around her, and im excited to see how she grows from that.
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themore12 · 2 years
Text
The 10 reasons you have my heart now.
Idia Shroud.
The first time we met face to face you took your time to talk to me, you didn’t even care when i stuttered or randomly rambled.
Despite my shyness you took your time to let me have space and respect my personal bubble.
You play with me a lot. Not the 2-3 games the 10-15 games. You take my trash talk like a champ :).
Despite me being gloomy most of the times you still stick through? I don’t know why but you make me gloomy less? Yeah like that….i’m not sure….
I don’t have anymore reasons D: i just feel better around you!!! I don’t have a correction tape god damn it. Thats so cringe :(
Even though im a shut in and a nerd you still boast me around your friends. It was Ace. Ace was the one that snitched he kept complaining that you always boast about me :D.
I feel safer around you. It feels like rook, kalim, and cater won’t look for me :). I feel like you’re a shield that dowsnt doesn’t allow any extraverts around me at all lol
I always feel a bit more confident around you. It feels like with you are around i could make a fool of myself and you would be there to comfort me lolz.
I don’t have any more i think? I just can’t figure out why i love you so much, i just realized that while making this lol. NOT SAYING THAT I DONT LOVE YOU, I DO ITS JUST THAT I CAN PINPOINT THE REASON.
I just love you like that bb grill. Please stop ignoring me :(.
I love you so much you dork. But i feel like im the dork in this situation?
Feels poggers in the relationship but not poggers as a gamer. Who cares about gamer poggers when i have you ❤️ /heart eyes emoji. I CANT PRINT SHIT AND DRAWING SMTH SO SMALL IS HARD OK?? ATLEAST I DID THE HEARTTT
DONT JUDGE ME :(. I WROTE THIS LATE AT NIGHT ITS 1 AM.
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llvmos · 8 months
Note
Hi! I have a request. Would you be alright writing some realtionship headcanons for Dalton [like “dating him would include..”]
HI! Thank you so much for the request, I had a lot of fun writing these!
Warnings: slight jealous!Dalton, NSFW content, mentions of blood and knives for NSFW section
a/n: im working on another one shot so here is thing until i finish it! i added a NSFW section under the cut for the people who are interested in that. i do write NSFW content for headcannons and maybe blurbs but not for oneshots. if you have anymore headcannons or requests you can request on my blog!
Not proofread!!
Word count: 669
!!NSFW warning under the cut!!
Dalton Lambert Headcannons
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SFW !
⭑ I think we had established this in the last oneshot but mans is so clingy. If you are gone for any more than 1 day, he will spam you with texts, calls, facetime, anything to talk to you.
⭑When you would first start dating, he wouldnt really be the biggest fan of physical touch until about a month or 2 into the relationship. After that, his hands will never leave your body.
⭑He is not a PDA person, but if he sees a guy looking at you in any way he doesnt deem as respectful, he will pull you closer to him and hold your hand.
⭑I feel he would be jealous if you were assigned a male partner in class, but he doesnt say or do anything because he doesnt want to be THAT type of boyfriend.
⭑He would draw quick sketches of you in his sketch book when hes bored. Of course he wouldnt realize he was drawing you at first but once he looks at the finished sketch, he realizes.
⭑If you guys are watching a movie or hes drawing or something, he will sit in between your legs in front of you on the floor while you sit on the bed and let you braid his hair :,)
⭑OK, so backtrack to before yall are dating, he would be so clueless.
⭑You could literally kiss him and he would say something stupid because hes just THAT clueless.
“What…You…Was that in a…friendly way?”
⭑If you wear shorts when youre at his dorm, he will grab a pen or a marker, and draw on your legs.
⭑You will walk back to your dorm with drawings going from the top of your thighs alllll the way down to your shins.
⭑He is quite literally an insomniac when hes by himself at night, but when you’re around, all he wants to do is sleep.
⭑He literally just gets so slumped and will fall asleep on your shoulder within the first 5 minutes of you being there.
⭑Even though he doesnt project frequently anymore, he still has nightmares quite a bit. When he does have these nightmares, he instantly facetimes you so he can fall back asleep.
⭑Hes a cat person. His reasoning being:
“They are just there, you know? They dont jump on you and slobber on you.”
NSFW !
⭑Ok, to get it out of the way, hes a munch.
⭑Now, when he does go down on you, his hair stays down.
⭑But if he decides to put it up, it’s half up half down like in the movie. (AHHH)
⭑He absolutely LOVES when you play with his hair when he does so.
⭑He also loves leaving hickeys but only in secret spots such as collarbones, chest, stomach, etc.,
⭑Hes definitely a switch.
⭑He cant always be in control. Sometimes he just wants to BE controlled.
⭑ This man will praise you like youre something of a higher power. (ofc you are to him, he thinks you are the most beautiful. loveliest thing hes ever seen)
⭑Sometimes he will hold your hand while you guys make love. (omg i hate that term)
⭑Then other times, his hand would be around your throat instead :)
⭑Ass or tits? Nah. THIGHS!!
⭑ Dude, i cant even express how in love this man is with your thighs. He will constantly being grabbing, touching, kissing, holding, or laying on your thighs.
⭑ He also loves finishing on them.
⭑ I dont think he would be a sadist because he wouldnt EVER want to hurt you in anyway.
⭑But….
⭑He is 100% a masochist.
⭑He wants to see scratch marks, bite marks, hickeys, red marks, blood, cuts, ANYTHING on his skin when you guys are done.
⭑Now stooping into the blood and cuts topic….
⭑Knives.
⭑He wouldnt want to cut you unless you guys talked about what your comfortable with before hand.
⭑ He probably wouldnt leave lots of cuts. He probably just use the knife to ‘scare’ you. Just because the way you look at him when he puts the cold knife against your face turns him on <3
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xanyiaz · 2 months
Text
vincent, william & sam audio spoilers:
ok in short:
i think sam is leaving the house of solaire, vincent and lovely will leave (although i kinda don't want them to for some reason ??) and I FUCKING HOPE PORTER LEAVES BUT I DONT THINK HE WILL >:((
my full thoughts:
firstly, ERIK PULLED OFF THE ACCENT SO WELL OMFJGKGJDJDJ AND THE THUMBNAIL ??? I KEPT GETTING SO DISTRACTED BC THE THUMBNAIL IS SO SEXY LIKE GOD DAMMNGJGM SO TASTY
i'm surprised vincent managed to stay so calm like considering everything, i thought he would snap honestly 💀 but yeah i'm still so shocked like DAMN- WAS NOT EXPECTING WILLIAM TO DROP THE BOMB OF LEAVING THE HOUSE OF SOLAIRE BUT OK 😭
to me, sam saying "that tells me what i need to know. goodbye william" is kind of him leaving ?? idk if i'm reading that right or not but that seems like a start at least, why else would he say goodbye if he didn't mean it yk 😭
for vincent and lovely it's a lot more complicated- i think they'll both make the same decision but we just don't know what that is yet- i feel like they'll leave bc they just can't trust will anymore and also they don't wanna be involved in his future semantics without a full rundown and being upfront about it- which he hasn't been in the past so 😭 yeah- although i sort of don't want them to leave bc like they've been in this clan a while yk, i'm sort of attached 😭😭 but i think they will in the end
idk if it's just me but the whole time i kept thinking of three things: the thumbnail, the ticking in the background and porter. he was mentioned a few times but i kept thinking like- was he also offered the option of leaving or not ?
porter rant bc i have free will lol:
we still barely know porter, but from his (sort of) sleep aid, we know that he regrets/is having trouble dealing with the assassination he carried out. he also is having many of the same thoughts as vincent, although he did a better job at hiding them - that he also struggles to trust william, that he doesn't know whether what he did was morally corrupt or not, that he doesn't know whether what he did was out of obligation, fear or cowardice. he also feels used, much like how he did in the past with his maker, though we still don't know the full story about that yet.
what i'm saying is- we know vincent and sam have been given the option (without judgment) of leaving the house of solaire, but we don't know if porter was graced with the same choice. was he also given the option? or did william just assume that he would stay in line and continue carrying out his favours/orders without question. even if he was given the option, would he take it? or would he hesitate/turn it down out of feeling an obligation to be loyal to his powerful king, and out of fear and cowardice that he doesn't want to "betray" or go against william.
if he did turn it down, where would he go? who would he go to? vincent and sam would be fine, they have support systems and other people to rely on, but who else can porter trust? his king, who has used power to order him around and do morally questionable acts, for the "greater good" of the house of solaire? his maker, who also used him to commit horrible acts that he hasn't dared to speak about to anyone? or treasure, a mere stranger that he sort of used, in a way, for a distraction and pleasure? if porter left, where else would he go?
anyway thanks for coming to my ted talk- the ticking in the background scared me for a second bc i was like- MORGAN ??? POOKIE IS THAT YOU ?? but i think (hope) that it was just for ✨️dramatic effect✨️ i hope we get more answers/conversations soon (vincent & lovely, sam & darlin' and porter). tata for now 💀‼️
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astroninaaa · 2 months
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when it comes to cellbit suing twitter and everything, having an existing defamation case he already won would be good to refer to if hes gonna sue sasa specifically for defamation in terms of evidencing, right? ill be honest i dont know a whole lot about legal strategy but i imagine taking her to court for both abuse and defamation is the goal and having a case in which its already been proven that the harassment has damaged his career could be really important because after that his team just has to draw a clear connection between the harassment and sasa. idk though im not a lawyer much less a brazilian lawyer lol, do you mind weighing in? what do you think the strategy is here?
this is SUCH a good question so like. yes but also no it depends on how they argue it and on the judge imo
if he wins the lawsuit against the twitter people and proves that the harassment was awful and everything that is suuuch a strong argument to use in a lawsuit against his ex. like see they’ve recognized that this harassment affected my life a lot and really negatively and you started it
however. she could argue that she never asked people to harass him, or that she only said his name a couple of times within all the accusations, and that’s,,,, true. like, she implied VERY HEAVILY that it was him and i think (hope) that that’s enough, buttt it can also depend on how good HER lawyer is.
there IS a very clear connection between her actions and the harassment, but there’s the matter of intent. she can say she was just venting online, that she never asked people to harass him, that she tried to keep from talking about it but people kept bringing it up etc etc.
i think he still has a very strong case of she implied VERY hard that it was him and even straight up said it was him (the SA accusation quoted a tweet that said his name directly), and how more than once she talked about how awful it was that people still supported him and how they should take her side (i was a cellbit follower back in 2017/2018 it was THE TRENCHES i remember it all). at the end of the day, any judge that actually looks at the entire situation would be able to tell that, well, her side of the story is kinda iffy. no proof, just words, bringing it up whenever he’s getting more traction than usual, coming up with new, worse accusations every time but never taking him to court. saying she doesn’t want to be related to it or to him anymore and yet bringing it up at every opportunity after seven years.
so yes i think winning the lawsuit against twitter/the twitter accounts is a VERY good precedent for when he sues sasa. there are good arguments she can make for herself, but i think, at the end of the day, that if he really shows up with all the proof of what she’s done and the damage it caused, the chances of her winning are less than likely.
unless, of course, she has a bunch of proof we don’t know about. but she’s “exposed” him thousands of times without ever showing any of it, so, personally, i sorta doubt it.
i hope this answered your question anon 🫶 GREAT question btw loved it that’s a very smart thing to point out
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