#and as someone who was figuring out my sexuality while trying to be a good ally
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🧚🏾♀️Messages From Your Queer Ancestors✨
I'm backkkkk, check Patreon for my extended general version of this reading!
AHHHH I'm so excited to launch my Patreon, you guys don't even know about all the ideas I have lined up and I'm sure there's more to come as this month goes on! Anyway these photos are all from pinterest buttt see if you can guess who's a very important figure and whyy 😽
1. So a few of you in this pile are trying to force yourself to forgive qhen you don't actually want to (or need to) and for the rest you're almost bulldozing over your identity and how it's affected you. I have a feeling you hang around people who don't know about your identities and would outright make fun of you or disrespect you in some way because of it. Your ancestors are way more sad than angry; if anything they're sad that these people are around you and they're sad that you don't honor or place importance on those aspects of your identity enough to walk away from them. Some of you might believe you'll never find people who truly accept and understand all these aspects of you so you've completely given up on it. Your environment might now is definitely very homophobic/transphobic or just xenophobic in general. While you might've been born in these environment or have had to stay in it, your queer ancestors want you to believe in yourself and in your queer identities; those aspects matter just as much as other parts of yourself. They want you to focus on creating an exit/escape plan out of this situation and to find the strength and hope in you to believe you will be able to find the right people one day instead of just completely shutting this idea out.
2. Things are going to change for you very, very soon. Some of you may be doubting a partner or a close friend in terms of loyalty or how much they love/respect you, but you'll soon realize these are just fears with no real basis. You will hit the jackpot somehow or you'll realize you have already in some area of your life. If you're financially broke right now, there's an idea or action you take that'll be the jackpot literally in terms of money and its something you didn't expect to happen, or at least to such a large degree. Keep doing what you're doing and the truth will be revealed to you soon.
3. I feel like me and your queer ancestors would've been good buddies and they've been so nice to me since the beginning of this reading. You're blessed spirituality in terms of family even if your immediate family right now is dog shit. You all however are really tired. I'm getting for most of you this isn't necessarily physically but more tired of people trying to fuck you over or fuck with you in general. You might've had to cut a lot of people out and seek justice or revenge in some way; ways that might be very tedious or draining like filing paperwork, legal battles, etc. I'm sincerely sorry if you have experienced some form of assault especially sexual assault please rest assured you will get justice whether through the system or not. You feel really tired pile 3 and this might sound infantilizing but I mean it in the sweetest way, you need a hug. You need someone to be understanding of you and you might wish you had someone physical to rant to. This might not bring you much comfort but your ancestors are watching your struggles and they wish they could coddle and baby you. A few of them see you as a baby and it breaks their heart that their baby is so stressed out 🥹 they are still proud of you and are rooting for you ad wish to send you lots of money so you can focus on self-care. Don't be afraid to ask for help if you need it pile 3!
4. Some of you feel very stagnant or just stuck in a situation especially financially. You might've realized something was a scam or actually wasn't going to lead to anything more; this could be about staying at a toxic workplace in hopes of getting a promotion or being transferred to a better team. I'm also having a hard time focusing on your reading so you might just be feeling overwhelmed or scattered. You realized a situation would never get better but now you don't know what to do or you've convinced yourself you have no other options left that are any better. However, I'm getting this really isn't true and it might take a drastic change in your mindset in order to see the potential of other possibilities. This could be realizing going back to school or learning a trade might not be so bad or that maybe relying on online income (influencing, youtube, etc.) Could actually be a real plan. These are just examples but your queer ancestors are really begging you to try and think outside of the box and realize "standard" job opportunities might not be as reliable as they seem and that options that seem very flaky, can be very stable if you put in the work.
#pick a card#pick a pile#pac#queer tarot#tarot reading#tarot#love tarot reading#lgbtq#two spirit#vodou#transgender#queer#pride month#pride
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Hiiiii I don't typically write for Oli Sykes however Kool aid has adjusted my brain chemistry and I have to put these thoughts out there lmao
I offer: cult leader Oli x a gullible, malleable reader who doesn't know any better than to follow him <3
*NSFW below the cut, MDNI*
cw: triggering themes possibly, cult ideology, toxic Oli, manipulation, corruption, dubcon, spanking, general torment lmao, edging, oral, raw sex, dacryphilia, hair pulling, throat fucking, coercion, guilt tripping, thigh riding, nipple play, light bondage, there may be more but this is already rlly long.
♡ he's fucking horrible, and he knows it. But you don't.
♡ he couldn't help himself but to drag you in, you were just so fucking easy. All you needed to hear was someone was "there for you" and you were in. Oli had hundreds if not thousands of followers by now as well but he never treated any of them like he treats you.
♡ you'll follow everything he says on a whim and if you question him, he'll pull you close, hold your hands, run his fingers through your hair, say "when have I ever been wrong?", kiss your forehead and send you on your way. When it comes to the more toxic sexual side of the "favors" you perform for him, he defends himself saying you're supposed to follow his order without question, he's always right, do you not trust him?
♡ everyone's used to seeing you at his side by now and you always get the most pitiful looks from people. They see someone being manipulated that's too dumb to realize and fight it but you're confused, Oli would never hurt you, why do people keep saying be careful? When you bring this up to him, he just tugs you in his lap and trails kisses up your neck and jaw while stroking your hair and telling you not to worry about it.
"They're just jealous I spend so much time with you, love. Stop thinking."
♡ he's a massive sadist, and loves seeing you cry. He'll achieve it one way or another. Either fucking your throat until you're gagging around him and crying for him to be more gentle or fucking you to tears while he's pulling your hair to add to the sting. He fucking loves seeing his mark on you too, whether it's the hundreds of dark hickeys he drowns your soft skin in or the endless handprints littered over your body be it from spanking, slapping, choking, it doesn't matter. He wants to brand you.
♡ he's a cunt, and will humiliate you to tears then wipe them away while you're sitting on his cock. He knows if he breaks you down enough, he can build himself up as your savior. The only one you can trust, the only one you can crawl back to. You're so pliant for him it's almost funny to watch.
"Bad day, princess? C'mere. I'll make it better."
"You know I love you, right? I'm only harsh when I have to be."
"You always follow directions so well, love. I wanna reward you for that."
♡ at first you were really against anything sexual but he's coerced you. He'd plead for hours, claiming you must not trust him if you won't do what he wants. Do you not love him? He's done so much for you, given you a place to stay, given you affection, you're not gonna pay him back? Eventually you felt guilty and ended up folded in half under him nearly in tears while he fucked into you like he was trying to split you in half. He praises you so fucking heavily in the moment you can't help but enjoy it now. You crave that attention and affection so much it has you needy for him. He's trained you well.
♡ you're constantly crawling into his lap, kissing all over his neck and begging him to touch you nowadays. Of course, he "gives in". His big tattooed hands running all over your body, tugging your shirt off to play with your nipples while you grind yourself against his thigh and get all teary for him cause you wish he'd just stop teasing.
"So impatient. Haven't I taught you better? Or do you just need me that bad."
♡ he figured that'd be a good chance to teach you some extra manners and by teach you he means tying you up and leaving you on his bed with a vibrator pressed right against your clit indefinitely. No squirming is gonna help, if anything it'll make it worse. He'll sit on the edge of the bed near you and coo about how if you weren't so needy and impatient you would've gotten what you wanted without being overstimulated for hours. And he does in fact mean hours.
"I'll touch you when I feel like it, you don't need to be a whiny slut to get what you want. Could've just waited and you wouldn't be here right now."
"Aw, want it to stop? I'm not sure. I think you still haven't learned your lesson."
"Maybe if you keep begging in that pretty little voice, I'll turn it down."
♡ if you're being needy and he's in a mood. He'll give you what you're whining for, just not how you wanted. He'll fuck you with one of the seemingly endless toys he has for you and drag you through what feels like endless orgasms until you're pleading for a break.
"What? Wanna stop? You were so fucking needy before, where'd that attitude go?"
"So needy you don't even need my cock, you'll get off on whatever fills this pussy up. Right?"
♡ he has the biggest breeding kink as well. Loves the idea of carrying on his whole lineage and it's a bonus you'd look pretty all round with his babies. He never let's you off without pumping you completely full of his cum. Even then, once he pulls out he's gathering excess with his long fingers and fucking it back into your sensitive pussy so you don't waste any. If you do get pregnant, he's still planning on enjoying you, just maybe a tad more gently.
♡ god forbid one of the other cultists finds some interest in you. He'd notice eyes lingering on you just a little too long for his taste and it'd end with said cultist tied to a chair across the room while Oli plays with your pussy in front of him. He's shit talking and reminding the man you're spoken for, property of your leader, no one could possibly make you feel as good as he does. Oli makes sure you're moaning his name and whimpering about how good he feels and how much you love him just to get the point across. He'll make sure no other name sends a swarm of butterflies to your stomach like his ever again.
♡ he'd be lying if he said he didn't have *some* feelings for you, but he'd never show anything other than his prior torment. On rare occasions, when you're tucked against his chest dead asleep after he's fucked you in every position imaginable, he'll press kisses to your forehead and trace circles on your back while almost admiring you. He'd never let anyone else see him so unguarded but you're just so soft and malleable, so cute. He feels lucky to have found someone who's too soft to say anything out of line against him.
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Okay, I’ve been enjoying all the “Buck is an Ally” jokes but, especially after the scene with Maddie, I feel like there’s an element there that’s not being discussed but that rings really true of a lot of people’s queer experiences.
I’m pretty sure Buck knows that being a man and going on a date with a man makes him some flavor of queer. He’s not that dumb, he can do that math.
But he’s nervous! There’s something exposed and uncomfortable about going on this date, telling his friends and family, being seen to be something other than straight. And he feels like he shouldn’t feel that way. He thinks being queer is great! It’s totally normal! No one should feel uncomfortable about being visibly queer!
So if he’s uncomfortable, if he feels exposed, if he doesn’t want to tell his friends or family right away, if he lies about it? Was he never as okay with all of this as he thought he was? Was he not actually an ally?
I feel like allyship can come with this sort of expectation that you’d transition gracefully into being queer. That it would be comfortable and easy. And that expectation can actually make it a lot more uncomfortable. Because being comfortable with queerness and being comfortable with self-discovery are two very different things but when the self-discovery you’re dealing with is your own queerness they don’t seem separate.
It can really feel like “if you were a good ally you’d be totally comfortable being perceived as queer” sometimes. And obviously that’s not true. Coming out can be extremely vulnerable and it can be really uncomfortable to do any kind of self-discovery but especially figuring out your sexuality. And especially later in life. And I think it really makes a lot of sense that Buck, who is definitely feeling unsure and exposed, feels like he shouldn’t feel that way because he’s been an ally. So he feels like he needs to validate that past experience of being an ally. He’s seeking validation that being unsure in this self-discovery doesn’t negate his past acceptance of and comfort with queerness. And I think he does get that validation from Maddie.
And I think there’s an interesting conversation (and maybe some interesting fanfiction) there if we just dig a little deeper past the jokes.
#evan buckley#911#possibly slightly nonsensical rambling#but the fact that he said it more than once really stuck out to me#and as someone who was figuring out my sexuality while trying to be a good ally#there’s something so particular about the way that the pressure to be a good ally can make realizing you’re gay feel weirdly homophobic#like if you’re not ready to dance down the street with a flag then you must secretly hate gay people#never mind that you’re maybe not even totally sure of your labels yet
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The first time I saw a trans woman was in porn. I was pretty young then, in early middle school I think. My first thoughts about trans women only existed in a sexual context, since that was the only place I saw us mentioned
The next time I saw trans people mentioned was a TV show presumably about trans people and transitioning. I didn't watch it, only saw the description because even as a kid I had already internalized the idea that it was taboo and I would get in trouble if my parents walked in and I was watching it
Eventually I saw enough TV and cop shows to see an episode with the dead trans hooker trope. It further reinforced the building idea that trans women were something else, separate from "normal" people and always on the outskirts of society
And then Caitlyn Jenner came out. At my Catholic middle school there were few kind things said about her and plenty of nasty comments, but this was the first time I saw trans people being publicly talked about
In high school my views on trans people started to fracture. On one hand, I was being pushed the idea that gender was about what's in your pants, that if you've got a dick your a man and there's nothing that can be done about it. On the other hand, early high school me had stumbled across some gender change erotica and quickly became obsessed with it. While it wasn't great representation, it was still pretty positive about transitioning. The people in those stories were always happier afterwards
I struggled to reconcile what parts of society were saying about trans people with my daydreaming about what I'd do if I woke up the next morning as a girl. Eventually I decided that it was just a fetish. I just thought it was hot, there was no way I could be trans because I was just a normal person. I wasn't weird or a spectacle for others to gawk at, I was just a person
Around that time I also met a trans person in passing for the first time. One of the trans guys at my high school was in one of the musicals that I went to because some of my friends were also in them. When I was talking to my friends about it after someone mentioned the trans guy and that he was trans. I wasn't really sure what to think so I kinda just didn't think about it. Thinking back, there were a few trans guys at my high school but I don't think there was a single out trans woman
Eventually in college I actually met some trans and nonbinary people. In some classes we introduced ourselves on the first day with names and pronouns which was my first exposure to people using pronouns other than just he/him and she/her. I had a few classes with trans and nonbinary people, including a survey of transgender studies class I took in my last semester. I had plenty of excuses for why I was taking it (I needed a few more credits to graduate. It still had room open. It fit with my other classes. It seemed interesting. I'm trying to be a good ally.)
Around this time as well I found some trans creators online like ContraPoints and Philosophy Tube (whom I had watched before she came out as trans). I was weirdly excited and interested when Odyssey Eurobeat came out as trans and I went to go listen to some of her music right after I heard. I was starting to have examples of trans people just being people. Not just porn stars or public spectacles, but people
Later I met and befriended a few trans women, one of whom was extremely open about her transness and happened to share a video which started the initial steps of my egg cracking and figuring out who I am now
If I had actually known any trans women, if the world had been kinder to trans people, if representation of trans women as people existed and was well known, I might have been able to realize who I was sooner. I would have been able to exist as myself for more than a tiny fragment of my life so far
Representation matters, both in media and in daily life. Trans people being out and open about who they are made it possible for me to realize that about myself. Please never stop being who you are
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Periodic reminder that you are not immune to reactionary radicalization through fandom.
We all know the "jokes" about how old bronies either came out as queer or became fascists - except they're not really jokes, and a lot of the queer ones admit to having been in the pipeline before they came out (some in a way that implies they never totally got out of said pipeline and don't understand the gravity of it),
GamerGate was an entire right-wing reactionary movement that was - and this is not hyperbole - partially responsible for turning fascism into a "legitimate" position by the American Overton window, composed entirely of people who feared losing their fan spaces,
We've had terfs right here on tumblr dot com BRAGGING about how useful fandom is as a recruiting space,
TJLC was a big pipeline for acephobia on this hellsite in particular, when people argued that headcanoning Sherlock as ace was inherently homophobic because it was denying a TOTALLY GONNA BE CANON (while the creators were promising that it wasn't going to be canon) gay pairing, and puritanical, and just HAVING that headcanon was saying that people COULDN'T ship Johnlock, all in the interest of a "fake" sexuality and "pretending to be oppressed" and oh whoops there you went,
We see people who all but center their fandom activity and identities around figuring out which people in predominantly queer fandom spaces are SECRETLY PEDOPHILES AND GROOMERS, acting consciously or otherwise under the assumption that predominantly queer fandom spaces are just massively infested with them in a way that other spaces are not for SOME reason, who twist the definition of "pedophilia" in these spaces until it covers shipping a 17-year old fictional character with an 18-year old fictional character, or a 30-year old with a 45-year old, or including an autistic character in a ship, and drawing two 17-year old characters kissing constitutes "child porn", and who unironically say we should bring back the Hays Code and Censorship Is Good Actually And Our Problem Is We Don't Do It Enough and this often becomes a pipeline to "sex ed is child abuse; people shouldn't even know what sex is until they turn 18; you need my consent to wear certain outfits in public if I see them as sexually charged, and Pride SHOULD be an assimilationist sideshow for our corporate overlords family-friendly party with no sadness or anger or ESPECIALLY acknowledgement of sex allowed",
We've seen otherwise progressive people defend literal hate symbols in fanart when pushback against the above brand of reactionaries gets corrupted into zero-nuance "it's us vs. them so anything they don't like is Good",
Even outside of those examples some of the most vicious, unapologetic, blatant queerphobic abuse I've seen in recent years hasn't come from right-wingers but from LGBT+ people, dressing their deep, violent, seething hatred for queer people who aren't exactly like them in a thin veneer of progressive language, who have become so convinced that they're the main character of the fucking universe that they think writing or enjoying a queer story that doesn't resonate with them is more queerphobic than sending a queer person who writes or enjoys such a story countless rape and death threats and denying their identity,
We've seen these examples again and again and again, and we keep seeing it again and again and again, so I am once again on my knees BEGGING people to recognize that this is not Something That Happens To Other, BAD People, or Something That Happens To People In BAD Fandoms, or Something That Happens To People On The OTHER Side Of Perennial Drama; this is something that CAN happen to you.
These things are the result of the fact that fandom is, by nature, a place of heightened emotion and if you don't know what to look out for that is very exploitable; you need to know the methods people use to do this, simply Being In The Right Fandoms or Liking The Right Ships is not enough.
So, if you see someone trying to convince you that you have the ONLY valid approach to any specific character, or ship, or show, or whatever, that your ship is activism and your fanfics are praxis, and liking something else or liking the same thing differently is Only For Bad People, that is the single biggest red flag that YOU NEED TO RUN, THEY'RE TRYING TO SELL YOU SOMETHING THAT YOU DO NOT WANT
#fandom#radicalization by fandom#serious tag#keeping the property values down#<- aka my tag for 'i doubt this will circulate but i dont want people who will get involved in this shit on my blog'#though i wont be mad if it does circulate because people need to realize this
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I imagine Vees pet would see how Val treats Angel and try to help him when she can, like calming Val down from his tantrums or playing something to help Angel himself if he is going through a panic attack.
Vs pet trying to help angel
Warnings: Valentino, SA mentions, panic attacks, abusive relationships
You’ve seen how Val treats his workers, and while you hate seeing it you know there is nothing you can do to stop it
You know your place as the assistant, you may receive nicer treatment from the Vs than any other demon but that doesn’t change who’s in charge
But there’s something about the way that angel is treated that really makes your stomach turn
The obsession that Val carries for angel, and the excessive cruelty towards him makes you feel physically ill
You do your best to distract Val from angel, but you have to be subtle or else your entire plan fails
You’ll respond to vals affection despite your uncomfortably feelings when he touches you, you know he doesn’t want to touch you in a sexual way but he’s not been platonically affection with anyone in so long that he’s forgotten how to touch someone without a sexual undertone
You’ll use your calming tricks on Val whenever you see him becoming irritated with angel dust, but sometimes even that doesn’t work
Sometimes there is no stopping Valentino’s rage from coming out, no matter how happy your affection makes him or how calm your ability is
So he will eventually blow up if the circumstances are too bad to fix, and angel will be caught in the crossfires
After Valentino is finished with his abuse, he usually leaves to get a drink and expects you to join him
But sometimes you don’t, you’ll look down as the bruised and battered angel dust and you can’t find yourself cruel enough to ignore him
You’ll treat his wounds and you’ll use you ability to create the same humming and heartbeat sound you use on Val to calm him on angel
You think that angel is too out of it or too panicked to remember who is doing this for him, but he remembers
You figured it out after you had a particularly stressful day with the Vs controlling behaviour and you hid out in a dressing room
You crumpled to the floor and cried your heart out as panic and anxiety filled your chest
You gripped your own hair painfully as your rocked back and forth to try and soothe yourself, but all you could focus on was how much you despised what you did
You despised vox’s commands of cruelty to others, you despised velvette’s infantilising and insulting words she spat in your direction because you weren’t being a ‘good pet’ and you despised that you could still feel vals touch on you and all you wanted to do was scrub your skin clean
As you cried and hurt yourself by yanking on your hair, you felt yourself being pulled into someone’s chest fluff and four arms wrapping around you
Angel shushed you as you cried and he rocked you back and forth in an attempt to soothe you the same way you had soothed him
You cried for hours into his chest as he shushed you and rubbed your back in a sympathetic manner
When you finally looked up at him, he mustered up a small smile as he wiped the tears from your eyes
“You remind me of my sister” he said quietly as he laid your head back onto his chest “too kind in a world that’s got cruelty in every corner, too naive for your own good”
After that night, there was a mutual understanding between you and angel dust
He looked out for you, and you looked out for him
But subtly of course
You don’t even want to imagine what the Vs would do if they found out you had formed a friendship outside of them
But you knew that them knowing would only endanger angel dust and gain you a punishment
Let me know what you think :)
#hazbin velvette#hazbin hotel vees#hazbin valentino#hazbin hotel valentino#hazbin hotel vox#hazbin spoilers#yandere hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin alastor#hazbin hotel x reader#hazbin hotel#hazbin vox#yandere vox x reader#vox x reader#yandere valentino#valentino x reader#velvette x reader#yandere velvette x reader#yandere alastor x reader#alastor x reader
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I've got those requests almost at the same time jsrfwwxewe also I fucked up big time and accidentally deleted them but thanks god I've made the screenshots
I've been looking forward to writing something nsfw for him lmao
nsfw headcanons w/Aventurine
characters - Aventurine
notes - gn!reader, nsfw, subby!Aven. Somehow turned into a character study. Somewhat angsty but with a turn for hurt/comfort. No beta.
Okay, first of all, he's no virgin. But he's NOT a manwhore either. Like for some reason when it comes to the cunning characters it's always either he's a dickrider-pussydestroyer-900 or he's actually a fragile innocent virgin baby. Not the case with Aventurine, not on my watch at least.
I mean it's pretty much canon that the only moment he feels truly alive is when he's gambling so he won't seek sex for the purpose of filling up the hole in his heart. And I don't see him as a lustful person in general.
He has one-night stands from time to time though. Not particularly often but once in a while he feels a certain level of frustration and stress budling up in him so in order to distress without losing his cool he seeks sexual relief. For him it's a safe way to relax a bit without actually taking off the mask of a frivolous and confident man.
Also. He's very touch starved. Not even in a lustful way, he just wants to feel someone's touch. Someone on twitter pointed out that he's practically hugging himself on his e6 and I haven't been the same ever since.
And now look at his body language in almost every cutscene. He has his arms crossed and is generally pretty reversed. I think he doesn't trust people around enough to be in his personal space but when it's a part of the sexual act, it's just natural. He doesn't have to feel exposed. So yeah. This is another reason why he seeks sex.
Now do you remember what Sparkle said to him? About stripping himself naked for Sunday and all that? Yeah I feel like he gets comments like that a lot due to people's prejudice against Avgins. People are usually not this straightforward butttt the idea behind their comments is the same.
He may act unaffected as long as he wants to but I do think it messed him up quite a bit.
Due to his fucked up views on his own value and his sexuality he doesn't have a healthy set of boundaries with his partners, allowing them to be as mean and rough as they want. And I don't mean just kinky stuff, I mean genuinely uncaring partners who really don't give a shit about Aven's comfort. I think subconsciously he seeks people like this. In his eyes, it's better this way, otherwise he may crumble from a gently and caring touch.
So yeah. His sexual encounters usually leave him sore and exhausted. The initial feeling of relief washes away in the morning, leaving him more empty than before.
Okay now to the happier part because we are 466 words in and I still didn't say anything good or sexy.
If the two of you started your relationship as a fling then initially he would be surprised because of how observant and attentive you are.
"My, my, how caring you are. But don't worry about me, you're free to use me as you wish" he says in the same flirty tone as usual. And you just. Stare.
He acts like he's bored while you literally pry the information out of him and, well, he doesn't give you anything specific anyway so you have to ask questions during the whole prosses to make sure he's doing fine. Orrr you just set for something very vanilla just in case.
In reality he's a bit confused. Has mixed feeling about this. Being treated with such care makes it harder for him to hide behind his mask but it feels so nice.
And when he realizes that he has actual feelings for you he just. Stops sleeping with you lmao. If you have questions about this he'll find 2134144 excuses but in reality he just tries to figure out his own feelings.
If you started off as friends then he would not try to sleep with you until you start dating. At first he just doesn't want to mix up this dynamics. And when he catches feelings, he just tries to make sense of it. Plus since sex is not something entirely positive for him, he's just kind of... unsure how it may affect your relationship even if it's obvious that the two of you want each other.
Okay now the real talk. When the two of you are officially lovers be prepared to face his messed up views on his own sexuality. Will probably need a lot of reassurance, attention and aftercare to realize the importance of his own safety and comfort. Learns to value himself through you.
A very good lover, knows how to please you and wants to please you. His previous sex partners weren't important to him so he didn't go out of his way to make them feel good but with you it's a different story. Literally worships your body, pressing kisses everywhere. Especially likes your thighs. Kisses them, bites them, leaves marks all over them. Loooooves teasing them while keeping eye contact with you right before giving you oral.
I feel like he's a switch but leans towards being a sub. May dom if you want him to or, rarely, if he feels like it.
May look like a brat but is not actually a brat. Well, most of the time. He's a tease but still does pretty much everything you want without making you work for it. However, if he's in a playful mood, may get all cheeky with you. Says stuff like: "Oh, that's all? I know you can do better" or "My dearest, don't disappoint me, okay? You know I don't make deals that don't pay off" just to rile you up. He loves being tamed okay. He knows you won't hurt him so him being all cheeky and disobedient is actually a huge sign that he's comfortable with you and trusts you fully.
Worship his body and he'll melt. Like. He'll genuinely crumble.
Goes all worked up and needy and soft and completely submissive in your arms.
Loves loves loves edging you. And fucking hate being edged. And by "hates" I mean he will whine and sulk and beg you to let him cum already. Secretly loves it but won't admit. You know it anyway since he never tries to stop you, obeying your every command, like a good boy he is. If you tell him that you'll stop doing that if he actually wants you to he'll huff and admit that he's not actually against you being a meanie.
Loves marking your body and loves when you mark his. HOWEVER would prefer to leave/have hickeys on the parts of your bodies that are usually covered. Doesn't want to create any rumors and doesn't want to make you uncomfortable. However, if you're into this, he'll gladly cover your entire neck with hickeys.
Is actually very sensitive pretty much everywhere so it's quite easy to overstimulate him. Once again, he'll whine but would never be against it.
Has the pretties moans and is very loud as well.
Doesn't have a lot of stamina so if he tops and you're still not satisfied after he cums, he'll use toys to entertain you up until he is ready for another round. If he bottoms then please give him some time to rest. Andddd kiss all over his body so he would get worked up again as soon as possible.
Has a praise kink. And a bit of a degradation kink too actually. Don't just insult him, mix it up with a praise and boom he's ready to cum.
Loves aftercare. Both giving and receiving it. He feels extremely vulnerable after a sensual lovemaking session so please just hold him and tell him he did great.
#hsr#aventurine#aventurine x reader#hsr aventurine#honkai star rail#sub aventurine#reader insert#walp's writing
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PUT IT INTO SPEED DRIVE
pairings: charles leclerc x driver!reader // lando norris x driver!reader // george russell x driver!reader // alex albon x driver!reader
warnings: theft. swearing. talks about sexuality and a sexual reference. cops.
author’s note: the idea comes from this ask that someone send my lovely wife! 🥹 I changed it from a car to a camera, because I don’t want my poor baby to have her car stolen :((
masterlist
•••••••
“Now that you’ve won Monaco two times in a row, you’re too good to play with us?” Alex teased the younger one as she stood on the side of the public padel court.
Y/N stuck out her tongue at him. “Not the guy in a Williams trying to come for me.”
“Auwch.” Lando said to Alex, impressed by his friend’s comeback.
“We can only play with 4 people, and I’m sure Miss Monaco would love to be umpire.” George argued, giving the young woman an expectant look.
She quickly nodded at the tall Brit, holding her hand up to her head as if she were a soldier. “Yes, sir!”
“No! She can’t be umpire! She’s gonna call all my shots out.” Lando complained, pointing at her.
“She’s not, Lando.” Charles defended her, although there was a doubtful tone to his voice.
Y/N smirked at the McLaren driver. “Well, now I will.”
“See, Charles? We’re gonna lose now.” He told his doubles partner.
“I mean- you were gonna lose anyway.” George started the healthy competitive trash talk.
“OH!” Charles and Lando loudly chorused, pretending to be hurt by his words.
“Warm-up first, or do we just get straight into it?” Alex asked the three guys after everyone calmed down.
Charles, George and Lando glanced at one another. “Just get straight into it? It’s not like we’re gonna take this too seriously anyway.” George suggested, already knowing it would turn into a shit show soon.
Everyone agreed with a small chuckle, and started taking their own respective places on the court.
“Alright, who’s gonna serve?” Charles loudly asked.
“Wait! We should do it like they do in tennis! Deciding with a coin toss!” Y/N suggested.
“You have a coin?”
“I think I have one in my bag! Oh, I also have my camera with me, should we do like a before and after picture?” She snickered.
“That sounds good.” Alex stemmed in, the others nodding as well. “Yeah, I like it when I’m all sweaty and people take pictures of me.” Lando sarcastically joked.
“Basically our job.” Charles grinned.
“They should calm down on all the can-“
“HEY! THAT’S MY CAMERA!” Y/N’s shouting interrupted their small talk, their heads swiftly turning to where she was standing.
They were just about to ask for a clarification when they saw the young woman run after, what seemed, an unrecognizable man that was holding her camera.
“Y/N don’t do that!” George yelled to no avail, not wanting her to get hurt by the thief.
The quartet didn’t hesitate in grabbing their own stuff before running after their unhinged colleague- Lando also quickly took Y/N’s bag in his hands, figuring none of her other stuff should be stolen too.
The five of them watched in frustration as the mysterious man climbed into a car that drove away at high speed.
“We have to go after him!” Y/N yelled, agony on her face at the potential loss of the device. “Did someone come by car?”
Alex, Charles and George shook their heads, while Lando nervously glanced at his friend. “Uh, I did.”
“Norris, please?” She begged, growing more impatient by the second.
“Can’t you just by a new one? It’s really dang-“
“It’s the camera that you bought for me!” Y/N admitted, hoping it would convince the Brit to chase them down.
Fortunately, it worked. “Alright, let’s go.”
“Do all of us go or…?” Alex hesitated following the two youngest ones.
“Yes, Albono! The more, the better! We can ambush them!” Y/N loudly answered, resulting in the whole group following Lando to his car.
There was a collective disappointment as they made it to his car, not expecting his blue Jolly Fiat to be parked there.
Lando spoke up before anyone else could. “Look, if I had known we would be doing a Fast & The Furious, I would have come with another car. Get the fuck in.”
Lando got in the driver’s seat with Y/N taking taking the seat next to him as she knew where they had sped off to.
The three others were about to step in, but quickly found out that there were only 2 seats in the back. “Uh, someone is gonna have to stay behind.” George noted.
“Oh, no, someone can just sit on someone else, it’s fine, I’ve done it before.” Lando assured them.
Alex, Charles and George gave each other a nervous glance. “Uh, so who-“
“Come on, ladies! Get it before those assholes see all the ugly pictures I’ve taken of you guys.” Y/N’s words shut them up and they cramped into the backseats, Alex somehow ending on George’s lap.
“Let’s catch some thieves!” Lando shouted out, although the speed of his Jolly made the moment anti-climactic.
Meanwhile Y/N instructed Lando on where to go, Alex suggested someone call the police- which Charles decided to do since he had the best knowledge of the French language amongst the three of them.
“Why does this thing go so slow?” George criticized the car, a judging look on his face.
“They took inspiration from the Mercedes.” Lando bit back, not appreciating the slander of his car.
Alex, and Y/N snickered at the comment. “More like from Williams.” The youngest corrected.
“Hey, that’s enough!” Alex defended his team.
The attention went from Alex to Charles as he hung up the phone. “They’re gonna dispatch a team, and advised us to respect the rules of the road.”
“Fuck the rules, I want my camera back.” Y/N said, yelling at Lando as he almost went the wrong way.
“You’re not being a good navigator right now!” He screamed back.
She groaned at him. “I’m literally pointing at where you’re supposed to go!”
“You’re not pointing good enough!” The two 23 year-olds start bickering back-and-forth with one another, much to the dismay of the other three men in the small car.
“Why are they always like this?” Alex whispered to George and Charles.
The both of them shrugged their shoulders. “Unresolved sexual frustrations is my guess,” he mumbled, “at least on Lando’s part, I’m still not sure what Y/N is.”
The Williams and Ferrari driver snickered at George’s answer, somehow understanding what he was referring to.
“Are you gossiping about me, Russell?” Y/N suddenly turned around in her seat, catching the Brit off-guard.
He merely shook his head, his eyes widened.
“Good, you wouldn’t want the others to know what you’ve been up to.” Despite the sweet smile on her face, the threatening tone to her words made the Mercedes driver feel uneasy.
“THERE!” Y/N’s loud voice made the entire car flinch, Lando momentarily letting go of his steering wheel.
“Y/N ARE YOU CRAZY? WE COULD HAVE CRASHED!” Alex scolded the young woman, almost falling out of the car as he was still seated on George’s lap.
“I’m sorry, Albono,” she smiled sheepishly, “but look, the police stopped them.”
The four men in the car let out a collective sigh of relief, glad their adventure was over.
Lando parked the car on the side of the road, behind the thieves’ getaway car. They could see a cop walking over to them.
“You called?” He asked in French, glancing at the five of them.
The drivers shamelessly looked at Charles, the man internally rolled his eyes at them, but he answered his questions.
After some questions back-and-forth, Charles pointed at the woman in the passenger’s seat.
“Y-your camera?” The cop asked in a heavy French accent.
Y/N nodded her head, a polite smile present. “Yes.”
“Would you, uh, mind filling out a little paperwork in the combi? You’ll get your camera back as well and can check if there’s any damage.”
“Sure, no problem.” She gave her colleagues a smile, and made her way towards the large cop car.
The four drivers remained quiet as the cop didn’t follow Y/N, instead lingering around Lando’s car. “It’s a Jolly?” He asked.
“Yes!” Lando answered, cringing at his over-polite voice.
“Aren’t those for just four people…” The man gave the four of them a stern glance, raising an eyebrow.
They awkwardly chuckled, not knowing what to properly answer. “Uh, well, you know, our friend, she, uh-“
“I’ll let it slide, this one time only!” The cop raised his index finger, indicating this would be the one and only time he’ll let them get away with it. “And don’t speed around. I know you guys are Formula One drivers, but you also have to respect the rules.”
“Yeah, we will. Thank you so much.” George thanked him in name of everyone.
Y/N came walking back to the car, a happy look on her face as she had her camera back. “It’s not damaged!” She excitedly told them.
“That’s great, Y/N.” Lando was relieved his present for her hadn’t been broken.
“You guys are free to leave, but next time I’ll have to give you a fine, alright?” The cop reminded them one more time.
“It won’t happen again, thank you so much.” The group of five chorused several sayings of gratitude, before driving back to the sports center.
“Well, that’s going to be a fun story.” Charles snickered, dimples on display.
The others laughed, only then realizing how bizarre this whole situation was. “I don’t think people are even going to believe this.” George noted.
“Oh my god…” Y/N mumbled.
The heads of her four friends turned towards her. “What is it? Is something wrong with the camera?” Lando asked, concerned about the device.
“Those fuckers took a selfie with it!” She exclaimed, disbelief written all over her face.
“What?!”
“Look at this,” she handed it to the three guys in the back, the small screen showing the two men in their getaway car, “who fucking does that?”
“Well, at least we have proof now…”
#f1 fic#f1 fics#f1 x reader#charles leclerc x reader#lando norris x reader#george russell x reader#alex albon x reader#f1 fanfic#f1 fiction
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oh, baby (c.bg)
wc. 1149
genre. smut
request. trying to get pregnant w beomgyu so y'all have been having sex nonstop everytime you're ovulating
tags. husband!beomgyu x fem!reader, breeding kink, pet names (baby), implied kitchen sex, implied shower sex, unprotected sex (lol duh), impreg kink, pussy drunk beomgyu, (slight) marking, manhandling (if you turn your head to the side and squint), mommy used twice non-sexually
a/n. repost; i was thinking about this nonstop since i saw the request anon i need to kiss your brain. you sent this over almost two month ago i'm sorry it took so long but i hope you enjoy <;333 thank you to @sunnylovespickles and @huenation for helping me read this and organize my thoughts
more of my work
you and beomgyu had been married for a year and a half when he finally brought up the idea of having kids with you. you were scrolling through your feed in bed one night when you stumbled upon a post from an old classmate at her baby shower. beomgyu absentmindedly responded, i bet our kids would look cuter, prompting the very serious and incredibly long overdue conversation about one day growing your little family. and after that night and some doctor’s appointments, he was determined to get you all pretty and round before the end of the year.
one thing about beomgyu is that he genuinely cannot keep his hands off of you. so on a sunday morning, when he wakes up to an empty space in the bed beside him, he searches for you all over the house before stumbling into you in the kitchen. he sees you making pancakes and can’t help but think about your kids one day running around, helping you cook, and setting the table. he wraps his hands around your waist from behind, his hard cock prodding your ass. nuzzling his head into your neck, he mumbles, good morning, baby. you hum in response, melting into his touch. he takes this as an opportunity to slyly turn off the stove. you whine his name, protesting for him to let you finish cooking. but that doesn’t stop him from pulling you towards the island and hoisting you up on the counter. he looks up at you with a smirk. you’re the only thing i wanna eat this morning, baby.
a few days later you find beomgyu sitting at his desk when you come home from the gym, he glances up at you but his eyes can’t help but stop at your chest glistening with sweat, your boobs spilling out of your tight sports bra. and of course that naturally leads him to fantasize about what your boobs would look like when you’re pregnant, so swollen and so so beautiful. going to take a shower, then we can figure dinner out. you tell him as you retreat to the bathroom. it’s not up to five minutes later when you hear the shower curtain open, your husband slides in behind you. if we’re gonna have a baby, we should start saving on our water bill, don’t you think?
but beomgyu wasn’t the only one who was entirely insatiable. some days, like today for instance, when you spend the entire work day thinking about your husband and how much you need him to fuck you, the last thing you want to see when you come home are his friends sitting around your living room. internally groaning, you wave to them while signaling to beomgyu to follow you into the bedroom.
“your friends.” you state one the two of you are in the privacy of your room.
“what about them?” he asks, his face marked with confusion. you give him a look that conveyed frustration and yearning and the realization dawns on him.
“aww,” he coos. “does someone need me?”
“please can you just tell them to go home?” you whine and without hesitation he leaves the room. you sink into the bed for what feels like an eternity until beomgyu saunters back into the room towards you.
“took you long enough.” you mumble as you pull him closer to you.
“i was gone for five minutes.” he chuckles in response.
“felt like twenty.” you reach up to kiss him passionately, your hands trailing up his torso, taking his t-shirt up with it.
“can we–” he tries to break away from this kiss. “can we slow down?”
“need you so bad.” you mumble against his lips.
“yeah?” he asks coyly.
“yeah,” your hands race to unbutton your work pants. “need you to fuck a baby in me.” beomgyu’s eyes widened. sure, you had both agreed to try for a baby but to hear you say this so explicitly just confirmed for him that his desires to start a family with you weren’t one sided. beomgyu joins you in taking off your clothes, his hands swiftly unbuttoning your shirt, nearly ripping the buttons off.
you’re laying in bed clad in nothing, with beomgyu hovering above you. his gaze falls upon you, tracing your form, as if you were the most alluring thing he’d ever seen.
“you’re so beautiful,” he breathes out before leaning down to kiss you. “i know i joke a lot,” he confesses between kisses. “but i want this so bad. you, us, our family. everything.”
he slips his throbbing cock between your warm folds causing you to let out a soft gasp. “me too. i want you. everything.” you parrot his words. he steadily grinds his hip against yours as he stares into your eyes and for a moment it seems like it’s only the two of you in the world.
loosely wrapping your arms around his neck, you pull him down into a kiss. your hands explore the contours of his body trying to find the best way to keep him in your grasp, to make sure that this was not an eerily realistic dream and he was actually here with you, in you. “i love you.” you moan out clenching around him.
his eyes close shut and a groan erupts from his throat when he feels your walls tighten around him. “fuck, your so… so tight baby.”
beomgyu accelerates his thrusts, his movements becoming sloppier and messier by the second. your hands find themselves resting on the nape of his neck, playing with his hair. he hides his face in the crook of your neck, taking this as an opportunity to paint your skin with marks in between the sloppy kisses he was leaving.
as he inches closer to his climax, you feel his movements slow down as he fucks deeper into you. he’s trying to prolong his orgasm, trying to feel you around him for longer. “m’gonna cum, baby. gonna get you all pretty and pregnant for me. gonna make you a mommy tonight.”
his eyes clouded over as his movements became weaker and hips began to stutter. you let out a loud moan, your eyes fluttering closed when you felt him pumping his load deep inside you, filling you up with his seed.
still inside of you, beomgyu rolls over so you are laying on top of him. he caresses your hair, whispering i love yous between kisses on your forehead. you rest like that, tangled in each others’ arms, for a moment before you convince him to take a shower with you.
when you actually get pregnant, you make it a routine to look at your baby bump in the mirror every morning. beomgyu sitting in front of you, tenderly caressing your round belly before pressing a loving kiss and murmuring something about you being the prettiest mommy in the world.
taglist: @atinyniki @boba-beom @dearlyjun @wiisoob @isabellah29
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#fay's works#txt smut#tomorrow x together#beomgyu#beomgyu smut#choi beomgyu#txt x reader#beomgyu x reader
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Puppy Needs Her Attention
June Note: I’m going on vacation with my girlfriend for the next week so I thought I’d drop another fic before I left!
G!P Puppy Winter x F! Reader
TW: Aggressive behaviors, breeding, and swearing.
With an exhausted sigh you walk into the house, groceries in hand, and head to the kitchen. As you flick the light on you can hear a faint whimpering sound.
Minutes pass as you place the groceries in their respective places and start readying dinner. But you cannot help but feel as if someone is watching you, and as you turn to face the stairwell you see Winter.
She whines and topples over the stairs and into the kitchen, slamming into you, knocking the empty pan off of the stovetop.
“You said you wouldn’t be gone long. Why did you leave me?!”
She nuzzles her face into the crook of your neck, her heavy pants loud in your ear as she whines.
Before you can even utter a response she starts humping you desperately, her penis growing larger and pushing the fabric of her shorts upward.
“It was only for a few hours baby, please calm yourself,” you try and coax her but it only stirs poor Winter up even more.
“When I called you weren’t there! I even waited like a good girl and you didn’t come for me soon enough!”
Her incessant cries did not seem like they would stop anytime soon, not with the way she was holding you so close from behind.
“I’m sorry it won’t happen again!”
But reassuring her is far beyond helpful with how much the situation has escalated.
She digs her nails into your back and tries to forcefully stuff her bulge in between your thighs. The friction of your clothes rubbing together is enough to make your clit throb with anticipation.
Noticing your sudden excitement she rubs her finger in a figure eight motion to stimulate your clit. While her hands are busy with your cunt, her mouth is leaving bright red marks on your neck and jawline.
The red marks left on your skin feel good yet somewhat painful. However, you’re more focused on her fingers that are fixated on taking your pants off.
The poor puppy can only focus on so many things at a time though. All she wants right now is to drop her warm load into you, and give you her pups.
“Winter baby it’s okay!”
Yet the tears streaming down her face indicate that it is indeed, not okay. You’ve never seen her so sexually frustrated before, but the way she whines as she strips you of your clothing was such a pitiful sight.
She forces your hand onto her shorts, moving your hand in a palming motion until the mound in her shorts is too big to contain.
Her cock creeps out from over her boxers, the fat tip dripping with salty precum. She pulls your legs apart and stares at your juiced up pussy.
“Mine. Mine. It’s mine.”
Winter drops her head down between your thighs and begins greedily eating at your pussy as if it’s her last meal. Her tongue swirls from your clit down to your wet hole. Her hands grip your inner thighs, almost ripping the skin with her nails as she eats away at your pussy.
The way she looks up at you it’s clear that she’s so pussy drunk. Just the taste of you makes her more possessive of you.
She finishes licking up the rest of your juices and in between your folds, leaving you in ruins. Her cock is now revealed completely to you, the sheer size and girth of it is almost frightening each time you see it.
Winter positions her cock in place with your hole and thrusts in suddenly at full force.
“Haah.. wanna breed you.. ‘n give you my pups!”
Her pace is anything but slow as she smashes into you, her cock covered in ample amounts of your slick.
“Fuck Winter.. who’s a good puppy?”
You praise her and call her name in a sing-song voice, whispering sweet nothings into her ear.
She pushes herself on top of you until you are in the mating press position, as she thrusts you can feel the tip hitting deep inside you, filling you up all the way.
Her cock hits each sensitive spot in such a precise way that each thrust makes you twitch in pleasure. The sound of your moans only encourages her to ruin your hole with her thick cock even more.
Winter has almost folded you onto yourself as she grows closer to filling you with her seed. You can feel her balls pulsing and tightening against your ass as she groans out loud, her mouth open as she drools and begins to come.
“Breed you.. you’re mine.. gonna fuck you n’ come in you!”
You cannot count how many times she shoots thick ropes of come into you, but on the final shot you feel wasted and full. You can’t even find it in yourself to speak a coherent sentence.
Embarrassed at her actions she buries her face in your breasts and whines. “I ‘needa come again,” despite her words, Winter stays resting on you as your pussy warms her cock.
June Note: This one was quite short but I really do have to get going, so I won’t be as active this week! I love you all so much!
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Torture and Trust // S. Riley x f!reader
warnings: waterboarding, reader is physically hit and tortured, reader is threatened with sexual assault in one (1) line, canon-typical violence, swearing
A part two to this but also doesn't need to be read before this. I'm kind of making a little universe in my head but idk. We vibin'.
It was the shock of cold water smashing against your face that woke you up. To be honest, you weren’t really asleep. You had been drifting between the space between consciousness and sleep, lured there from a few nasty hits to the head and exhaustion.
It was supposed to be a simple recon mission before the rest of the team came in to aid the retrieval of an asset. It was a warehouse tucked away in the streets of Tokyo that was apparently the hub of a human trafficking ring. MI5 had tasked the military to dispatch a SpecOps team since British citizens were targeted, something that had you grumbling under your breath because it shouldn’t take someone’s fucking citizenship to determine if they needed help. Explosives would be a bad idea considering how metropolitan the area was, even if it wasn’t very busy in this area. So you and Lieutenant Riley were tasked with figuring out a solid entry point and a tally of guards.
Simon had agreed to split up so he could canvass the west side of the building and see how many guards were stationed while you took the east side. It just so happened that the second-in-command to shithead in charge himself spotted the flash of your rifle scope and the next thing you know, you were strapped to a chair in the middle of the warehouse.
Your chest heaved as you caught your breath and you let out a small laugh as you regarded the two men in front of you. Being in the SAS, you were no secret to torture. Everyone knew that one step of the training was to go through seventy-two hours of pure hell and sleep deprivation to see who broke and who didn’t. This was child’s play compared to that.
“Your swing is getting better,” you said through bloodied teeth. “But that follow through is what we need to work on.”
A hand fisted in the back of your head and shoved your forward, directly into the trough of water they had placed in front of you. Waterboarding was always an interesting exercise. You knew it was coming and had inhaled sharply, focusing your attention on anything but the air slowly leaking from your lungs as he held you in there for maybe a minute. Your thoughts drifted to other things, like the ramen you and Simon split in the safehouse the night before. It had been a few months since he grew comfortable enough with taking the mask off in front of you so now you savored the few moments you saw of his face. He seemed almost tentative without his mask, as though he was aware of how beastly his scars made him look.
You pondered over if he knew just how beautiful he was.
They yanked you back out of the water and you didn’t know what time it was. It was certainly darker than it had been when you were first nabbed from your lookout point. Certainly long enough that Simon was aware of your predicament. So that meant you were running out of time. Two in front of you, three guards behind. Your hands strained against the rope and duct tape mixture that bound your wrists and ankles to the sides of the chairs.
“Who do you work for?” the boss hissed. You blinked up at him innocently through the water that clung to your lashes and shrugged.
“Can’t a girl just chill around here? God forbid women do anything.” You braced yourself for a hit that never came. Instead, he grabbed your jaw and squeezed, forcing your teeth to clack together with a sharp jolt and a bite to your tongue, adding more blood to mix with the cuts already present from the lackluster punches delivered earlier.
“Not with that level of weaponry. Try again.”
“You got me. I’m one of Santa’s elves and he wanted to make sure you were being a good boy this year. I’d hate to let him know that-” Your words were cut off as you were shoved back into the water. Ramen. How many meals had you two shared at this point? He had even started bringing you dinner to your office since he could take his mask off there rather than in the chow hall. You wouldn’t lie, you were starting to get tired. Your lungs burned from the fight to breathe and inhale the water, but you tried to shut off the small part of your brain that sent up signals of panic.
You didn’t need to worry, you reminded yourself. Just hold on a little longer.
“If you don’t start giving me real answers, maybe I’ll let some of our clients get it out of you. They’d love that,” the boss snarled when you were let up for air. Your gut tugged uncomfortably at the implication. It was always something that you had to keep in the back of your mind. Being a woman, military or not, always meant that it was a threat held over your head, simply for existing. It was why you were so eager to destroy their whole operation.
“How about you go fuck yourself?” Gathering up the blood and spit in your mouth, you forced your tongue back and then spat the putrid mix all over his face and the pristine white collar of his shirt. Rage flickered across his face and he stood up straight.
“Get me the pliers. If she won’t talk, we’ll make sure she screams.”
Well, you mused, what was a few less nails and teeth except less maintenance?
As his little goon walked off to whatever evil lair table of doom they had set up, your ears tuned into the silence around you. The typical sounds of the city met your ears, along with…there.
“I’m afraid, boys, that you’re out of time,” you said softly. A smile tugged painfully at your swollen and cut lips but you pushed past the pain. “This has been fun, truly, but I can’t lie and say I’ll miss you.”
The boss’ hand was heavy on the back of your neck as he held you down into the water. Even through the distorted splashes and fuzziness in your mind, you could hear five audible pops. You knew what they saw in their last moments. You knew that the Ghost emerged from the shadows, steps silent despite the fact that he was more muscle than man, and you knew that these men felt fear seconds before a bullet silenced their cruel minds.
He tugged you up out of the water and you inhaled deeply, the sound harsh and grating on your sensitive ears. Blinking the water out of your eyes, you came face to face with a mask that most said elicited a bone deep terror in them.
But not you.
“Right on time,” you panted. He said nothing as he cut the bindings holding you down and inspected the way that they had rubbed some of your skin away, leaving it tender and bleeding. Simon turned to look at the leader of all of this and you realized that he didn’t kill him. The man was dragging himself towards his discarded gun on the ground, blood oozing from his ruined kneecap. Ghost stalked towards him and lifted him up and away from his weapon. He regarded the little weasel coolly and then glanced back at you. You tried to push yourself up and out of the chair but your legs shook under you and instead, you collapsed back against the metal.
“Warehouse is clear,” Soap announced as he, Gaz, and Price entered. “Christ, bonnie, you look like shite.”
“You charmer,” you muttered. Gaz rushed to your side to help you up and you were grateful for your team. Your friends.
“This him?” Price asked as he joined Simon.
“Yeah.” It was the first time he’d spoken since he entered the building. “Keep him alive. I want to be the one to interrogate him.”
If it were anyone else, Price would agree. But seeing the slight tremor in Simon’s hands where he gripped the man’s suit jacket and then looking over to where Gaz was supporting your half-conscious form, he knew that putting Simon alone in a room with the man would result in a very messy clean up.
“We’ll worry about that when we get them back to base,” Price said. “We need to get her to medical.”
Four days into your medical leave and you were growing antsy. Soap and Gaz tried to keep you entertained and Price offered you an opportunity to yell at some cadets, but you were bored. You missed moving your body more than just the walk from your room to your office to the chow hall and back. But the doctor had threatened to strap you to a bed for a week while you let your body get back to normal after, and her words were, “you got your shit rocked. I know you SpecOps bastards think you’re invincible but anyone would need to take a fucking break after being tortured.” So, here you were, sitting in your office and writing up a mission plan for another team because Price knew you were getting twitchy without anything to do.
Two knocks, sharp and perfunctory, caught your attention. You called for whoever it was to enter, but you already knew who it would be. How many times had he laid that same knock upon your door? You once said that he might as well move into your office and he had regarded it for a moment thoughtfully, as if he was genuinely considering it.
“Four days of silence from you. Thought I did something wrong,” you commented lightly as Ghost entered and shut the door behind him. He didn’t take his usual seat, the plush wheelie chair you invested in when you joined the team and realized that he wasn’t leaving anytime soon. Simon dropped a tray onto your desk and then stalked away, his shoulders tense and bristling like a scared cat.
A quick glance at the time confirmed that your trap had worked. He always noticed if you missed a meal, usually because you were invested in something you were working on. Everyone had their own quirk or vice and that was yours.
He brought you beef stew over rice, a quintessential British meal that was surprisingly appetizing despite the cook’s minimal care. A shiny red apple sat beside it and, as if he read your thoughts, Simon whirled around and yanked it off of the tray. He extracted a knife from his pocket and started to carve the apple into slices that he dropped onto the tray and then turned around and began to stare at the wall once more. You simply grabbed one of the slices and chewed on it while waiting for him to speak.
“That was stupid,” his rough voice broke the silence. You scoffed and stopped chewing.
“What, getting captured? I didn’t fucking plan on it.”
“No. For not trying to escape.”
A dry, startled laugh escaped you and you scrubbed the heel of your hand over your forehead. “Five men with guns and me with nothing, tied to a chair. Yeah, fair chance of running without a bullet in the back.”
“You didn’t even try.”
“I didn’t have to. I knew you were coming.”
He turned to glare at you from behind that infamous mask and you cocked your head to the side. “That doesn’t scare me, Simon, and you know it. Take the mask off.”
He hesitated and then reached up and yanked it off, revealing the sharp line of his jaw, the scars around his mouth, and those freckles that speckled across his nose and cheeks. You could see him better and, therefore, read him better. His eyes told you he was angry. His tight jaw told you he was scared.
“You can’t just sit there and fucking die because you’re waiting for me, you can’t do that.”
“Why? You’re my teammate. I trust that you would come for me.”
“What if I hadn’t?” You shook your head at his question, at the absurdity of it. Was he hearing himself? Was he that consumed by whatever foolish notion that had somehow worked its way into his head? You pushed away from your desk and stood up so you could cross the floor to stand toe to toe with him.
“What if what if what if, fuck the what ifs, Simon. You. Wouldn’t. Leave. Me. Behind.” Each word was punctuated with a jab to his chest.
“And what if I had been injured, yeah? What then?” God, he was insufferable.
“You really mean to tell me that you wouldn’t crawl through broken glass to get to one of us.”
“That’s not the point!”
“Would you have this conversation with Soap or Gaz or Price? Then why are you so insistent about it with me? I was doing my job. Are you saying I can’t trust you? Trust my team? Because I can. I do. Don’t start telling me I shouldn’t.”
“You can. For fuck’s sake, you can.”
“You said it yourself, Simon, this job is dangerous and I knew the risks going in so I don’t know why you’re so insistent on thi-“
He tasted like nicotine and mint gum with maybe a hint of gunpowder, something so uniquely him. His lips pressed against yours with surprising gentleness and he cradled your face between his hands like you were the most precious glass figure he’d ever held. You fisted your hands in the lapels of his uniform jacket and sank into his touch. His fingers traced the skin of your cheeks, careful to not irritate the cuts you sustained days prior, and down to cup the back of your neck to draw you closer. A soft whimper escaped you at the sensation of his strong body pressing against yours.
You could easily hold your own in a fight, but the knowledge that this Adonis of a man was by your side through the hell of war was a comfort.
You needed to breathe but it wasn’t the painful reminder like it was when being tortured. His hands slid from your neck to cradling your jaw as you pulled away, settling back down on your heels.
“Don’t make me bury you,” he whispered, his forehead still pressed against yours.
You nodded, too dazed to say anything noteworthy. His thumbs stroked over your jaw and you blinked up at him.
“Was that a one time thing to shut me up or…”
“Fuckin’ insufferable, you are,” he grunted but leaned down to kiss you sweetly. There wasn’t much you could associate with Simon Riley and being sweet, but the tenderness in his touch made you want to hold him and keep him away from the world that had hurt him.
You felt his fingers brush against a nasty bruise on your jaw from a well aimed hit and saw his eyes darken.
“Did you question him already?”
“We’ve got a list of buyers that MI6 and Laswell are confirming right now,” he affirmed. Good. The mission was a success then.
“And how did you get this information?” you asked.
You met the gaze of the Ghost and didn’t flinch. He chuckled low and deep in his chest and tilted your chin up so he could see one of the cuts better.
“I did everything he did to you,” he said fiercely. "But I made sure it was permanent."
You moved your hand up to tangle with the short hair at the base of his neck and pressed your lips against his. Pulling back so just a small gap separated you, you murmured out a single sentence.
"I trusted you would."
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You know how cats seem to have an innate sense of when you’re about to get up, and they choose that exact moment to sit down on your lap? And no sooner have they made themselves comfortable than you realize that you have to go to the bathroom, or someone calls you over, or the phone starts ringing, and you have to shove the poor cat off your lap?
That’s basically Eddie’s sex life right now.
Well alright, no, not entirely, but – it’s a component that’s certainly starting to become an irritation.
It’s just that Steve has a wonderful lap.
At least, Eddie assumes it’s wonderful. It’s wonderfully inviting, at the very least; it’s wide enough to offer Eddie (who is not quite as generously endowed in the whole… thighs-ass department, he’ll admit) a good seat, and he’s had his hands on the area often enough to know it’s firm but with just the right amount of give to be very comfortable.
But Eddie’s never actually gotten to spend much time on it.
He doesn’t even mean that in a sexual way (although that much is also true). Every time he’s so much as tried to plop himself down on Steve’s lap to do something as innocent as watch a movie, Steve seems to remember something he needs to get up and do within just a few minutes.
For a little while, Eddie had been worried about what that meant. Did Steve not want to spend time with him? Did Steve not want Eddie near him? Did Steve not find him attractive? Did Steve just find him annoying?
But further time spent together has given Eddie more confidence. Clearly Steve enjoys spending time with him—submits to it willingly and often—and does find Eddie annoying but in a way he enjoys. Steve also most definitely finds Eddie attractive (and, in fact, has no trouble at all spending extended time on Eddie’s lap). So at this point, it’s more of a puzzle. A frustration.
It can’t be that Eddie’s too heavy for him; Eddie isn’t a small guy, really, but he isn’t huge, either. He’s seen Steve push and pull bigger people around – hell, he’s seen Steve carry Mike a good ways through the woods and back to the car after the kid had slipped and twisted his ankle when they’d been out walking (an incident which none of them are allowed to speak of ever, for varying reasons of blackmail and dignity), and he’s not too much smaller than Eddie.
Eddie is nothing if not a direct sort of guy, though – if he’s thinking something, he’s going to say it. This is mostly because he has very little brain-to-mouth filter, but he’s learned to make it part of his image. He’s pretty sure it works for him.
All of this to say that one afternoon, as they make out on Steve’s couch, Eddie freshly settled on Steve’s lap, Eddie decides to just… ask.
He waits until he can feel Steve’s hands sliding down around his thighs—not groping, but with the intent to move him—before he pulls back to say anything.
“Hey,” he says—gasps, really, still a little breathless with his attempt to seize the opportunity, “question.”
Steve blinks up at him, startled. “Uh. Shoot.”
“Do you not like it, when I sit on your lap? Because it kinda seems like you find other places to be when I try to make that happen.”
If Steve had been startled before, that’s nothing on how he looks now. He covers it in an instant, but Eddie’s seen it; Steve’s good, he’s very good, but Eddie is literally right in his face.
“What?” Steve pulls back, brows drawn in confusion. “No. Why would I have a problem with you being in my lap?”
Eddie shrugs. “Not a damn clue. That’s why I figured I’d ask. It’s just that whenever I get myself settled here, you suddenly remember you have to get up.”
“I don’t do that,” Steve scoffs, throwing in a good-natured eye roll.
“You kinda do, babe,” Eddie says, keeping it light; this isn’t an argument, nor an accusation – it’s literally just a question, and he doesn’t want to scare Steve off.
“So you’re saying, that every time I have my boyfriend on my lap – a guy I find insanely hot, by the way,” Steve’s hand slide back up Eddie’s thighs, edging towards his ass, and this time he’s groping, “you’re saying I don’t want him there, is that right?”
Eddie’s resolve almost breaks as Steve stares up at him with his ridiculous, pretty eyes (he’s good, he’s very good, Eddie will give him that) and tugs him closer with his ridiculous, strong hands, but he knows Steve is lying. He knows it.
He just doesn’t know why.
And isn’t that interesting? Eddie wouldn’t exactly call Steve an open book, but they know each other pretty well by now; Eddie can usually read Steve, but he has no idea what he’s thinking just at the moment.
So he decides to allow it.
He’ll see where it goes.
“Hm,” Eddie hums, as if he’s thinking. “That does sound a little silly, if you put it like that.”
“Completely silly.” Steve grins up at him, but there’s a thread of very genuine sincerity in what he says next. “Of course I want you here.”
And Eddie’s not sure what to say to that, so he leans back in to kiss Steve again.
And for a while, it’s fine. Great, even. Steve is a very good kisser, after all, and Eddie likes to think he’s no slouch himself, and a good time is being had by all, except before too long Eddie can feel Steve starting to tense up under him.
Once again, Eddie doesn’t mean this in a sexual way.
It’s not the fun, anticipatory kind of tensing, but the ready to run or punch something kind of tensing. The kind of tension that comes from a threat, not from having your boyfriend on your lap.
Eddie waits to see if Steve will do anything, say anything, but he does nothing. His kisses grow more distracted, quicker and shallower, but he doesn’t pull away. He doesn’t push Eddie away.
It’s when Steve starts shaking that Eddie gives up.
“Okay,” Eddie pulls away, shifting himself to the side so he doesn’t have more than an ankle draped over Steve’s legs, “what’s wrong?”
“What do you mean, what’s wrong? You’re the one who pulled away,” Steve snaps.
“Yeah, because it feels like you don’t want me up there,” Eddie shoots back.
Steve rolls his eyes again, irritated this time. “What, you don’t like it if I don’t let you sit on my lap, you don’t like it if I do let you sit on my lap– What the fuck do you want from me?”
“Maybe just the goddamn truth.”
Whatever Eddie expects, it isn’t for Steve to just… stare at him.
He stares at Eddie for a good five seconds in full silence before shaking his head. “No,” he says quietly, “you don’t want that.”
His sudden reticence only sparks Eddie’s irritation. “Don’t tell me what I do or don’t want, Steve. You don’t want to tell me, that’s on you, but don’t decide for me what I don’t want to know.”
“Well what do you think you’re going to hear, Eddie, huh?” Steve barks. “What do you want to hear? You wanna hear how Billy Hargrove sat on me – pinned me down while he beat me unconscious? Or you wanna hear how it felt to be handcuffed to a fucking chair while some Russians– while they– how it felt to be held down and not be able to stop them from doing anything?”
Steve has stood up now, pacing in front of Eddie, and Eddie wishes he could do anything other than fucking stare while his boyfriend has some kind of breakdown that he started.
“Or – or how about how I ruined multiple dates, or hookups, or whatevers when someone tried to sit themselves down on top of me and I damn near shoved them off onto the floor and then had to make up some dumb fucking excuse and run out on them before I had some kind of fucking panic attack? You wanna hear all that?” Steve demands, rounding back on Eddie. “No! You don’t… you don’t want to hear that.”
“Steve… no, I don’t wanna hear all that,” Eddie says, and hurries on when he can see Steve practically crumple in on himself, “I don’t want to hear that all that horrible shit has happened to you, but I need to.”
“Wh– what?”
“You don’t… I mean, you don’t have to give me specifics if you don’t want, but I need to know what might set you off so I don’t accidentally do it, okay?” Eddie says. “It fucking terrifies me that you went through all that, and I know I can’t do anything about it, but I’m at least not going to be one more thing that makes you hurt. I’m gonna make damn sure of that.”
“…Oh.”
It’s clearly not what Steve was expecting to hear, and for a moment he shifts uncertainly in front of Eddie. He wraps his arms around himself before seeming to think better of it and crossing them over his chest instead. Eddie wants nothing more than to draw him close and hold him, but Steve’s not quite ready yet.
“I’m not… I didn’t want to say anything. I don’t want it to be an issue,” Steve finally says.
I don’t want you to treat me differently, he doesn’t say.
“Then we won’t make it an issue.” Eddie shrugs. “You got some kind of trauma associated with sitting on other people, or can you come back over here to me?”
Steve blinks at Eddie, startled, before he gives in to a little huff of laughter, slowly crossing back over to the couch.
“You’re an ass,” he says, all fondness.
“Mm, so I’ve been told,” Eddie says, aiming a smug smile up at Steve as Steve settles himself right over Eddie’s lap. “And yet, here you are.”
“Yeah…” Steve leans in, pressing a quick kiss to the corner of Eddie’s mouth, quirking a little smile as he pulls away. “Here I am.”
#This week on Steve's Got Trauma: whatever this is#steddie#eddie munson#steve harrington#stranger things#this got a bit sappier than intended but here we are I guess#solar wrote#eddiesteve
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bet.
steddie | 2.8k
read on ao3
Happy Birthday @wynnyfryd 🥰🥰🥰 I've had this idea floating around in my brain for a while now and seeing it was your birthday prompted me to finish it 💕
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It's his first time in Indianapolis as an out bisexual, so of course Robin takes him to a gay club - to experience the drag queens and to see other queer people having fun, she says.
It's a little overwhelming, the bright lights and the music and the people. But he's having a great time, people watching and drinking virgin daiquiris and talking with Robin.
She's been here before - she came with Vickie when they were still together one weekend and they had a blast. So when Steve figured his sexuality shit out and came out to her, this was the first place she wanted to take him.
Now, he can see why. It's a haven of sorts. Gay men dancing together and kissing each other, gay women getting cozy in the booths, drag queen and drag kings about. He hasn't felt like he's belonged somewhere in a long time, but it kind of feels like he belongs here. The atmosphere is welcoming and kind.
They dance a little before everything gets overwhelming and then they find an empty booth to sit down and sip at their drinks in.
Robin keeps trying to encourage him to find someone to kiss so that they can call this night a success, but he keeps telling her that no one has caught his eye. And it's kind of true. He's seen some men that he thinks might be his type, but they're all paired up with men who look nothing like Steve. Even then, the few people that have caught his eye weren't right, somehow.
He keeps holding out, hoping to find someone that makes his heart skip a beat, or whatever the appropriate cliche for a gay club is.
And it. It happens.
He glances over at the bar as he's taking the last few sips of his drink, thinking about if he wants to brave the crowd at the bar, when he sees him.
His heart doesn't skip a beat, but he knows as soon as he lays eyes on him that he wants him. He's beautiful - and intimidating.
He's sitting facing away from the bar with his legs splayed open, ripped jeans revealing what looks like fishnet stockings underneath them. He's wearing a tank top that's showing off his many tattoos and Steve is struck with the urge to know what they taste like. His combat boots are clunky and could seriously kick someone's ass if they messed with him. His wavy hair is half tied up, a messy ponytail holding his hair out of his face, but the bottom half is freely falling past his shoulders.
He kind of feels like he's been bit by the love bug - he can't take his eyes off him.
He knows Robin is saying something to him, but he can't even hear it. It's all just background noise. He doesn't think he's ever been so captivated by someone before. He wants to put his mouth on him.
"Steve? Oh my god, stop ignoring me!" Robin says and snaps her fingers in front of his face, pulling him from his reverie. He looks over at her sheepishly.
"Sorry, Robbie," he says, looking back over at the guy briefly and yep, he's still just as hot as the first time he looked.
"What was that? Did you see someone you like? You looked like you blacked out for a minute there," she says, a smirk pulling at her lips.
He rolls his eyes. Of course she already knows - his type is people that look like they could stomp on him and he'd say thanks. "Black tank top, ripped jeans, at the bar. I think I'm in love," he says with a sigh. He's way too intimidated to go over there.
She squeals in his ear and says, "This is so exciting! You have to go kiss him now."
"Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa. I'm not just gonna go up to a stranger and ask if he'll be my first gay kiss."
"And why not?" she asks, stirring her drink.
"Because that's insane," he says. "He's probably already got someone. He's, he's gorgeous. There's no way he's here alone." It's a shame, but it's probably true - he's way too good looking to be here alone.
"There's only one way to find out," Robin says. She leans forward and whispers in his ear, a challenge of sorts.
"You can't be serious," he says to her, questioning his own sanity for even entertaining her for one second.
She leans back in and whispers more into his ear and he groans.
"You're diabolical," he tells her, pulling back to smack a kiss on her forehead. He stands up and takes a deep breath before marching over to the bar. He can't believe he's doing this.
He marches right up to the guy and immediately every word in his vocabulary is gone. He's so fucking pretty.
"Um. Uh, hi," he says, stupidly.
The guy bites his lip and grins at him. He says, "Hi," back to him and Steve is literally going to die, he thinks. He couldn't see it from across the club before, but this guy has a lip piercing, and Steve wants to know what it feels like against his mouth so fucking bad.
"I need you to kiss me," he blurts out, trying not to cringe.
"You need me to, to kiss you?" the guy asks, and this was a bad idea, the worst idea Robin's ever had. There's no way he's going to agree to this.
"So, my friend-" he stops, looking back at Robin - she waves at them. He's trying so hard not to blush as he turns back to the guy and says, "She bet me that I couldn't get a guy to kiss me since it's my first time here. So I was wondering if you would kiss me, so I can win the bet." He's steeling himself for rejection, for this guy to tell him to fuck off or maybe have mercy and let him down gently by telling him he's taken.
But he just smiles, tilting his head at Steve. "Why me?"
"Hmm?" Steve asks.
"Why me?" the guy asks again. "Out of all the guys here, you picked me. Why?"
Steve sputters for a second. "You, I mean. You have to know how you look, right? Like, you're gorgeous."
He grins again, tonguing at his lip ring and Steve is so down bad for him, it's actually insane. "Okay," he says. "I'll accept that answer. Now, if you get your kiss, you win your bet, but what's in it for me?"
Steve is hoping that if he's still talking to him, that means he actually has a shot. He's feeling dizzy with how much he wants to kiss him. He really fucking hopes he can kiss him.
He says, "A kiss?" with what he hopes is a charming - and not at all maniacal - grin.
The guy snorts. Rude. He snorts at Steve and says, "I think I'll need a little more that that, don't you think, sweetheart?"
Steve nods dumbly, says, "I'll split my winnings with you. Would that work?"
He's not expecting it to work, is the thing. He doesn't expect him to say yes.
Which is why he's so surprised when he reaches out and tugs Steve closer by the collar of his shirt. He did not know being yanked around was his thing, but apparently it is because good god.
"That works for me," the guy says, eyes going molten as he looks at Steve.
He can't believe that worked. Holy shit.
He's. He's nervous, he realizes. He's had a lot of first kisses, been on many first dates that ended in him kissing someone unfamiliar. But this is nerve-wracking for him in a way it hasn't been before.
He lets the guy pull him in further by his collar, lets him control when the kiss happens.
The first press of their lips has Steve sighing and opening his mouth slightly, wanting more, wanting to taste him. He kisses him, lets himself be kissed really. He opens his mouth more when a tongue snakes out and presses into his mouth.
Steve's hands come up to pull him closer, to pull - fuck, he doesn't even know his name, yet. He's doing this all wrong. He meant to get his name before shoving his tongue down his throat.
But it's good, the feeling of soft lips pressed against his, the cold metal of his piercing pressing against his mouth, his tongue stroking over Steve's in a way that makes him wish they were alone, wish they weren't here surrounding by all these people. He wants to kiss him and keep kissing him until the breath runs out of his lungs. He wants to put his hands on him, to dip his fingers into the rips in his jeans and feel the rough fishnets against his fingertips.
He pulls his mouth away to gasp out, "What's your name?" because he needs to know, needs to have some connection, some thread to hold onto, to grasp as they're kissing.
"Eddie," he whispers against Steve's mouth. "What's yours?" Eddie asks. Eddie, Eddie, Eddie.
"Steve," he says before pressing his mouth against Eddie's again. He wants to kiss him forever. He never wants to stop. He wants Eddie to keep licking into his mouth like he owns it until the bartender yells out that it's last call. He wants Eddie to keep holding him like this until Robin drags him away as they turn the lights on in the club to kick everyone out. He wants, he wants, he wants.
He gets a hand tangled in Eddie's hair and gets their heads tilted right so that they can lick deeper into each other's mouths. It's burning him up inside, the way their tongues are sliding together, the way Eddie's licking behind his teeth and sucking on his tongue like he's trying to taste the daiquiri he was drinking earlier.
Eddie tastes like tobacco and something sweet, like he was drinking something sweet before Steve came up to him too. God, Steve wants to know everything about him - what's his go-to drink order, does he smoke, does he prefer beer over mixed drinks, is he seeing anyone, please don't be seeing anyone, god.
He feels desperate, he feels out of control. He wants Eddie to take him apart like he's never wanted anything else in his life. He wants those hands on him, wants to feel the rings on his fingers pressing marks into his skin. He want his hands gripping his hips, sliding down and touching him. He doesn't think he's ever wanted like this.
The only reason they break apart is because someone's elbow ends up in Steve's back and he ends up pushed further into the crease of Eddie's thigh. He feels him hard against him and he knows Eddie can feel how hard he is too. Fuck, it's like everything else faded away when Eddie's mouth was on his, but now that they're not kissing, he's suddenly achingly aware that he's hard in his incredibly tight pants after making out with Eddie for god knows how long.
His face is probably red and sweaty, but Eddie's still looking at him like he wants him and god, does he want him back.
But he pulls back a little, puts some space between their hips because he quite literally can't ditch Robin here go hook up with Eddie, no matter how much he wants to.
He bites his lip and pulls his hand back, the one that was tangled in Eddie's long hair. He puts it on Eddie's chest and asks, "Was that okay?" because he thinks he knows the answer, but it never hurts to hear it.
Eddie huffs out a laugh and says, "Was that okay, he asks. Sweetheart, I think you and I both know that was something on a completely different realm from just okay."
If Steve wasn't blushing before, he definitely is now. He says, "Good, good. I'm glad we're on the same page."
Eddie leans close like he's going to kiss him again. He brushes his lips against Steve's in a dry press - barely a kiss, but it has Steve aching all the same anyway. He drags his mouth along his jaw, just mouthing at it, and it's the hottest thing Steve's ever felt.
He whispers in Steve's ear, "Your friend is trying really hard to get your attention right now," and that pulls Steve right back down to earth.
He pulls away again and turns around to see Robin waving her arms at him. He puts his hands on his hips and raises his eyebrows at her. She waves her hand at him, beckoning him back to their table so he holds up a finger to tell her to hold the fuck on.
He turns back around and says, "I think I'm being summoned. As much as I want to stay and as much as I, like, desperately want to keep kissing you, I should get back to my friend."
Eddie crosses his arms over his chest and leans back against the bar and Steve can't help the way his eyes sweep over him again. Eddie's smirking when he looks back up at him.
"That's fair," Eddie says. "So, what did we win?"
Steve makes a questioning sound, before he remembers what Eddie's talking about. He sheepishly brings a hand up to swipe his hair out of his face where its begun to stick to his forehead. "Oh, uh, about that. There never really was a bet."
"Really?" Eddie asks, leaning forward again into Steve space, like that's the most interesting thing he's heard all night.
Steve shakes his head. "I promised half of the winnings, but the winnings are zero, so half of zero is still zero, you know?"
Eddie grins at him and says, "You're kind of devious, you know that? Here I was, thinking I'd get a prize at the end of that kiss."
"Sorry for getting your hopes up, but I mean, it was a good kiss, right?" Steve asks, boldly leaning forward to press his mouth against Eddie's again. Eddie lets him, lets Steve kiss him, softer than before. Before it was all new and exciting and hot, and it still is, but this kiss is tender, pulling a gasp from Steve's lips when they separate.
"It was a good kiss," Eddie agrees, pecking him on the lips again, soft and sweet.
"Can I have your number?" Steve asks, trying to be brave for once. He got Eddie to kiss him, even if it was under less than truthful circumstances, but he hopes it was good enough to warrant a call back.
"Your friend, is she seeing anyone?" Eddie asks, and Steve's head is kind of spinning at the redirection there.
"She and her girlfriend broke up a couple months ago. Why?" he asks, wondering where this is going. If this guy is actually somehow straight and only kissed him to get with Robin, Steve's gonna lose it.
"I'll tell you what, if you can convince your friend to kiss my friend, you can have my number," Eddie says, gesturing to the girl that's been sitting next to him at the bar this entire time.
And- oh. Oh god, he's embarrassed.
Has she just been awkwardly sitting there while Eddie made out with him? He was half a second away from dry humping Eddie and his friend was sitting there patiently waiting for them to stop. That's embarrassing.
She's cute - she's got this whole cheery, bubblegum vibe to her that didn't make Steve glance twice at her once he had his eyes set on Eddie because the two of them are kind of polar opposites. He didn't think they were here together.
His eyes shift back and forth between them and she waggles her fingers at him in a wave, smirking at his caught out look.
"Chrissy," she says, sticking out her hand to shake Steve's. He's kind of intimidated by her too, but he's got to hand it to her - he doesn't think even Robin would sit through him making out with someone right next to her. He guesses he does kind of owe it to both her and Robin. He and Eddie were making out for a while.
"Steve," he says, lamely. "Sorry for making out with your friend right next to you. Um, I'm gonna go grab Robin now."
They both watch him as he leaves, which makes his skin prickle and his heartbeat speed up. He makes a beeline back to Robin and lets her coo at him for a minute about having his first gay kiss.
She's talking a mile a minute asking about how it was, if he got his number, when Steve interrupts her.
"Bobbin, you are not gonna believe this," he says, and when he's got her attention, he continues, "I think I just found you a girlfriend?"
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i hope this isn't too personal of a question (and if it is that's totally cool, i was literally just curious as a fellow aspec person), but i was wondering what some of your thoughts were about being aspec, like it's totally cool if your thoughts were just the post you reblogged!!! that's honestly still putting into words a bit a similar way i figured out i was aspec, but i know you seem to have really interesting takes on things/conclusions you've realized about things a lot of the time and so i was just curious what thoughts were turning around your head about being aspec
I don't mind talking about it at all!
So for me sex is like this perfunctory, borderline tedious thing. I almost want to call it a chore, but that has negative connotations that don't exactly match up with how I feel about it. It's like something on a to do list, or like running an errand.
Think of it this way: For me, having sex is akin to going to the pharmacy. Actually, it's more like being asked to go for someone else. It's not on my list of things I enjoy doing and there are other things I would rather do, but I don't mind going if someone asks me to. But once in a blue moon I do actually want to go because I want candy or a Juneberry Red Bull or some shit like that and Walgreens happens to be nearby.
Media builds up sex to be this incredible and awesome and amazing thing that everyone wants to have, which is at odds with the widely held societal belief that it's uncouth to discuss sex openly with others. So if media says "yes you should want this" and society says "but you shouldn't talk about it with others because it's an incredibly private act" it makes it kinda difficult when you don't feel the way you're "supposed to." And then when you do talk about how you don't feel that way, people say there's something wrong with you or that you haven't found the right person or that maybe you need to change things up in the bedroom or that you need to go to a doctor because it's gotta be a hormonal imbalance or something. The list really does go on and on.
And so many of my expectations surrounding sex were informed by fanfic where I read, in detail, about how good it was supposed to feel. About all the different ways it could feel good.
I wanted it to be like that for me, for it to be as good as I had read and seen and heard others talk about, so I kept on trying. And sometimes I enjoyed it. Not E rated fanfic enjoyed it, but it was nice. Nice in the same way a cup of tea is nice, but nice nonetheless.
But most of the time it was like, clinical? Like I was acutely aware of what was happening, if that makes sense. I was thinking about the mechanics of it, what was going in where. I was thinking about how it was "supposed to feel" versus how it actually felt. I would wonder how much longer it would take because I was getting bored. Sometimes I would think about how rude it would be if I checked my phone. And probably the most upsetting (retrospectively) thing I would think about was if my act of enjoyment was convincing enough. And I didn't ever want to tell a partner that I wasn't enjoying it because I didn't want to hurt their feelings. Because I thought it was a me problem. That there was something wrong with me. And there being something wrong with me wasn't fair to whoever I was with. I just needed to grin and bear it, so to speak.
At one point I had a bit of a gay panic where I thought wasn't bisexual and actually a lesbian. The panic was over the confusion, not over the potential lesbianism. Lesbians are awesome. But I learned that while sexual intimacy with women was a bit easier, my feelings (or lack thereof) about sex were still the same. And that meant there was something wrong with me in particular.
I know now that my perspective was warped and my thoughts about myself were both unkind and untrue, but that was a lot to try and reconcile as a 19 year old who already thought she was undesirable. Constantly being called a "late bloomer" and not having your first relationship until you're a sophomore in college sure does a number on your self esteem. Which in turn does a number on your perception of yourself.
Then as I got older, I got more queer friends. And I talked to those queer friends. And they talked about sex differently than my straight friends did. More openly and honestly. With less fanfare. And it was during those discussions that I heard about experiences similar to mine. And it helped me realize I wasn't broken. Well, that and google.
And now I stand before you today, an aspec bisexual able to joke about being horny in theory but not in application. It's nice not feeling broken anymore. But I think it's even nicer now knowing that I was never broken in the first place.
Sometimes sex is nice, but most of the time, it's just going to the pharmacy. And both of those things are okay.
#asks#if 20 year old Berklie could see me talking so frankly about my sex life she'd probably implode#but if you never talk about this kinda stuff it makes it awful hard for folks to know they're not the only ones#that they're not alone#and most importantly: that they're not broken like she had always been led to believe
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Mutual Help | #51
↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 10.6k+
⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢
Never in a million years would you think you and Jungkook will go to work together. To the same workplace as if you were colleagues. In some way, you kind of are colleagues at the moment, even though you won't be exactly working together.
It definitely has some perks.
For example – you don't have to drive since Jungkook suggested you should go together in one car which makes sense and it is something you were planning to offer anyway. Jungkook's car is more comfortable of course, how can it not be for the money he spent on it, right?
You enjoy the freedom of not having to drive through busy Seoul to get to work. However, you still offer to drive once you see Jungkook yawning as soon as he sits down on the driver seat.
He even has the audacity to snort at your offer. "You driving my car? Nah, I'll pass."
You do feel offended, though you would never purposely try to drive his expensive ass car – too scared to get into an accident or scratch the perfect shiny exterior.
"Asshole," you grumble, "Didn't you offer your car when I got into the accident?" you point out, noticing Jungkook's grin which slightly falters at the mention of your accident. You know he's just teasing you, despite his morning tired state.
"It was a matter of life and death," he remarks, causing you to flick him off. "Sorry, angel. Hate to break it to you but you're not that good of a driver."
Angel... that's new. Even if it's his way of teasing you again, you can't help but feel the little fluttering in the pit of your stomach. It doesn't help that Jungkook has cleaned and dressed up nicely. His outfit is quite simple but knocked the breath out of you as soon as he stepped out of the bathroom, fully ready despite his tired puffy eyes. White button-up with black casual slacks – a total threat to your sanity.
"I am a good driver!" you argue.
Okay, maybe you're not a complete Michael Knight when it comes to driving but you're pretty decent. It took you a while to improve but experience helped a lot.
"You can't compare me to you!"
"I know, I know. I'm just teasing you." Jungkook adds teasingly, met with your annoyed huff as your back meets the car seat frustratedly.
For the rest of the drive, Jungkook takes it as his mission to make you laugh and he blasts old Justin Bieber songs, dramatically singing as you try to keep your laugh at bay.
"You're who I'm thinking of, girl you ain't my runner-up,"
He quickly shoots you a playful wink as you roll your eyes, nudging gently his shoulder as he keeps his eyes on the road.
"Just shut up and drive."
"Oh, that's a good song!"
"Oh god..." you mutter, staring from the window as your facade finally cracks.
Though as Jungkook glances at you, he sees your grin in the reflection and he knows his job is done.
Junho snatches Jungkook from you as soon as the elevator door opens, his nervous figure pacing around the place. His usual self nervous and on the edge now seems to be under control and you think it has something to do with Jungkook. Only because once he spots you and Jungkook, his eyes widening slightly before a welcoming smile stretches on his thin lips as he gives your friend a warm welcome. Not just you, but half of the staff witnessing this moment just gape at him.
Junho likes to kiss ass to everyone who works above him, especially any partners but you would never expect him to be so warm towards a photographer. It only proves he really loves Jungkook's work and is more than happy to have him on this project. So much, that he trusted Jungkook's offer of involving someone whose work he hasn't seen at all. Which reminds you Ester should be here soon, so she and Jungkook can get to work.
You assume once Junho is done kissing Jungkook's ass, he is leading him to the studio where they should go over the work once again before the models are prepared to have photoshoots.
There are many people, strangers who work for other companies, most of them make-up artists, agents. You've been here for three minutes and it's already looking hectic.
"Well, fuck me."
Turning sideways, you spot Yoongi glancing at retrieving figures of your boss and your best friend, similarly looking taken aback.
"Yeah, I know." you mutter, seeing him holding a stack of papers, wearing a gray suit.
"Asshole, we work for him for years and do most of the job and he never treats us like that."
You snort, not surprised by Yoongi's annoyance and irritation showing because in a way, you understand him. Junho can be very hard on all of you and he doesn't exactly treat you friendly, but he's not a bad boss. You're sure there are far worse bosses out there than just a simple man who's too greedy and ambitious for his own good.
"Shh, somebody is going to hear you." you scold him, mouth opening as soon as he thrusts the papers into your arms causing you to almost drop them. You glare at him but he's not even looking at you, sighing as Junho's figure disappears before he glances back at you.
"Like I give a fuck. Junho needs me, he's not gonna do a shit."
"You're too confident. Junho might need all of us," Yoongi rolls his eyes, "But he's got a temper."
"It would be his loss."
He's right about that but you don't tell him that.
"Why did you give me these papers?"
"Wake up, sunshine. You're at your work right now, chop chop."
And he simply walks away with no looking back which leaves your mouth hanging open, and you choke on the fit of curses that want to leave your mouth but you already hear your name being called, one of your colleagues rushing to you as they need your help.
Great. You haven't even got the chance to put your bag away. Fucking Min Yoongi and fucking Mondays.
Ester arrives a few minutes after Jungkook. He had to laugh at her petrified face when he politely excused himself to Junho, so he can help her get into the building since she doesn't know her way. It's enough she has to be nervous which only confirms once Junho so eagerly excuses him, leaving a few coworkers that are around completely speechless.
"Am I late? You said eight, right?" she asks him as soon as Jungkook holds the door for her to come in, chuckling at her anxious state.
"No, you're good and I did. I came a little early," he assures her and sees the sigh of relief she lets out, "Besides everything is just getting ready, well the final preparations but Junho, the boss I was talking you about," he says, momentarily stopping to make a space for people leaving the elevator before they both make their way in.
He pushes the button, turning to her as he gives her a comforting smile which she tries to return.
"He is gonna go over the things again with us and then we should get to work. We have a long day ahead of us."
She nods, not giving any sort of other reaction – her nerves getting the best of her.
Meanwhile you spot Ester and Jungkook coming in, getting to work right after – you're already swallowed by your own responsibilities and not having time for anything else.
Despite the day's business, it feels as if it's dragging painfully slowly. You don't get to see Jungkook in action, somehow he's always just a blur in the background and you're not phased even in the slightest when you catch a glimpse of him, doing a great work with models. He's a true leader, involved just as much as he can be as he naturally communicates with the models and Ester on the side, who seems to be in her natural habitat.
You don't know any other photographer besides your best friend but seeing how two of them work well together, both of them understanding each other right away makes you think they have a lot in common when it comes to photography. They joke a little, Jungkook helps her with her camera once it seems as if there's a little problem in the setting as he sorts it out for her – all of this you experience in a span of five minutes watching from the distance, some of your coworkers beside you as you wait for the shoot to end. Well, a part of the shoot anyway.
"He's doing a great job, isn't he?"
You almost flinch at the sudden presence of another body next to you, looking at Benjamin who hands you a cup of coffee. You see Lauren holding one of those as well, shooting him a last appreciative smile before she focuses on the tablet in her hands.
"Thank you,"
You thank him, not having the heart to decline his attentive gesture. You don't like to get through the day drinking coffee, it bites you back in the night as it follows with the hassle of not being able to fall asleep. But it's soon lunchtime and you haven't had the time to just sit down, even if it's for five minutes so you gladly take the cup from the coffee machine and take a cautious sip.
"You're like the fifth person who told that in a span of ten minutes." you chuckle causing him to do the same as he lightly shrugs.
"It's true, I had to be there for a few minutes and seriously, he's amazing. You must be proud of him."
There's nothing but sweetness and tenderness in his raspy voice and soft expression and you have to look away to try and shoo away the approaching guilt, still feeling like an idiot for lying to him. To be fair, he hasn't tried anything since then but still remained sweet and friendly. Jungkook is not your real boyfriend but he doesn't know that and ever since he heard the revelation, it's obvious he backed away. You're glad he's still the sweet guy you met – unfortunately, it makes it even worse for your guilt and the little white lie.
"I am," you respond, cutting your thoughts off before you can feel like a total loser.
No lies need to be told, not when it comes to Jungkook's talent and you being proud of him. You remember the beginning of his photography career. He has always been doing good, but it took a lot of courage to get a freelancer career right after college, praying he will have enough clients to pay his bills. In the end, it wasn't the smoothest start but he's nifty and ambitious which helped a lot in this journey.
Despite his parents voicing out their concern for his son, not that they didn't believe in him but their concerns weren't helping him to smooth his own concerns of the future, he has managed to pull it off.
"Photography is his passion." you add softly, not really sure why you just shared that because you're not sure if Benjamin even cares but he responds with one of his charming smiles.
You continue to watch the scene happening in the distance, noticing the tall model you remember from the company's party standing now alone, exposing her skin and legs to everyone's eyes. She's not phased about it, how can she? This is her job and she's used to it, having done a good amount of photoshoots in her lifetime. You know you couldn't just stand there in a bikini, revealing the curve of your ass and most of your ass-cheeks exposed to dozens of men. Nobody in your company is disrespectful and just as she's used to the eyes, you all are used to seeing models. It doesn't matter what gender.
Her blond hair is curled into big beachy waves, breasts pushed up in the bikini bra as she professionally poses for Jungkook's camera. He chats with her throughout it, both of them trying to figure out the new positions and concepts together as they share a laugh together before returning back to work.
There are other models watching them, both female and male as the women seem equally attracted to Jungkook, despite there being male models right next to them.
All the men models are handsome, looking almost unreal even from the distance where you are standing. All of them are captivating and interesting looking in their own way, which makes them special and you know your company has done a good job at picking them up. You're not sure you've seen so many abs in your life like you're experiencing right now – even though most of them have thin robes draped over their shoulders.
Despite it all, you stare back at Jungkook and it's like no one competes with him. It's not even about him having an equally amazing body than the male models here. It's just him and for a split second you panic. You know you're attracted to him, that much is clear because you wouldn't be able to let your new deal keep going on for this long. But you're scared. So you hide your distress behind the plastic cup as you take a few sips of the coffee, letting more caffeine into your body.
"Don't do that."
Turning to Benjamin, you're met with his soft gaze once again and for a moment you think you see an amused grin spreading on his plump lips.
"Do what?"
"Well, at least I hope you're not comparing yourself to them." he says, pointing his head towards the models direction as you glance at them, met with the perfect skinny bodies and shiny skin while his eyes stay on your face, watching you attentively.
"I--no, I'm not." you assure him, but it comes out unsurely and way less honest than you intended.
Working here, you think almost every woman gets through the whole insecurity process at least once. Especially if you're met with gorgeous women on a daily basis but it comes out of inner insecurities in the first place. Eventually, if you're in a happy place with yourself, embracing your own beauty, it's not something you beat yourself over or getting on a radical diet, so you can even come close to them.
You're not envious and jealous, not at all. There are times when a woman can get insecure, or compare herself with literal models and by "a woman" you include yourself too. You think it's only natural in an environment like this but you're happy with yourself and you hope every single coworker of yours is too.
"Good, because you're pretty," he says, a serious tone laced with softness as you stare at him with wide eyes, not expecting the compliment but honesty too. "Ah, sorry have I crossed a line? I didn't mean it--I wasn't meant to be disrespectful towards your boyfriend. I just saw you looking at them and I thought--Ahhh, I'm sorry." he rambles as you watch him with your mouth agape before you let out a chuckle and shake your head.
"You aren't disrespectful," you assure him, still seeing the panic in his light eyes. "Thanks for the compliment."
He lets out a breathy laugh, "I hope I didn't come off as if I'm coming onto you or something. I know you're in a relationship,"
Your features turn guilt for a second and you know he catches the change, though he most likely mistakes it for sadness rather than guilt.
"I'm not like that!" he quickly adds and you laugh, shaking your head.
"Benjamin, please breathe," you continue to laugh silently, "I know. You're very sweet, thank you."
"Good, I don't want to be on bad terms with your boyfriend. He seems like he can throw a punch or two." he jokes, but there's a little fear and seriousness in his voice which makes you giggle.
"He can," you muse but quickly add, "But don't worry about him. He wouldn't punch you for calling me pretty, not that he has to know."
You give him an assurance that you won't snitch on him to "your boyfriend", even though it's not a big deal at all. Even if you had a boyfriend and someone else called you pretty, it doesn't mean they're coming onto you. And you appreciate Benjamin's concern, knowing he really didn't mean to come off as pushy or invading in any way.
"Good, good..." Benjamin sighs in relief, giving you a grin. "Who's the other photographer? Is she from our company?" He changes the topic.
"No, actually. She is Jungkook's friend."
Benjamin opens his mouth, an audible "Oh" leaving his mouth before another voice reaches your ears.
"Admiring your boyfriend, I see?"
And just like that, your own grin drops and you turn around finding Yoongi making his way to you. Can he be any more suspicious? He looks amused as fuck, finding his little joke (which is unknown to Benjamin) a little bit too funny and your expression of annoyance even more.
"No. I'm doing my job which can't be said about you." you remark back, watching his grin stretch even more which annoys you to the core while Benjamin stares confusingly at you and him, sensing the tension.
It's not like he is new to it but he's probably confused why you still bicker at almost every chance.
"Oh, admiring your boyfriend is your job?" he teases, or more like annoys the shit out of you as you bite your tongue. "Besides, I've been doing my and your job."
"What do you mean?"
"They're looking for you in the office. You're supposed to sort out finances with the team."
"No, I am not. I'm supposed to be here for a while until--"
"Doesn't matter," You're rudely cut off by him as he waves you off. "Get your ass there. You're lucky Junho isn't there and is busy admiring your boyfriend."
"Careful, you sound jealous, Min." you sing out, gulping down the rest of the cold coffee now before you bin it.
Brushing past Yoongi, you pat his shoulder just for the right measure to piss him off and seeing him narrowing his eyes at you annoyingly, you know you've succeeded. Throwing a wave to Benjamin, you leave the two of them there as you're on your way to find the fuck out what you have to do with finances.
The next time you see Jungkook is after lunchtime, he's joined with Junho and a few other people including Natalie, the main star of today's project and Ester. You heard Junho invited some of them to lunch outside, which threw you off a little considering he's been a nervous wreck about this project and you pictured him showing his usual temper. But at the same time, it makes sense he's suddenly a different man, trying to impress everyone he invited to lunch.
He never did that with any of his employees – not that most of you would go anyway, maybe strictly out of politeness and a fear of possibly pissing him off.
You've around five minutes to get back to work, meeting Jungkook's gaze across the room as he makes his way over to you, leaving the partners and agents alone as everyone is going their own way.
There has been barely any time to chat with him, or just make sure everything's good even though you know Jungkook can take care of himself and everyone is swooning over him. So once you're met with a gentle smile of his, you reciprocate it.
"Hey, where were you? I thought you'd join us for lunch." he says, stopping right in front of you.
"I couldn't, besides Junho didn't invite us and we still had some work to do." you explain.
By work you don't mean anything too important, just to make sure everything's ready on the next set so you can go home on time.
Jungkook's eyes narrow for a moment, an unpleasant look making its way on his face as he licks his lips. "Have you eaten?"
"Uhh, yeah. There is a buffet prepared for all of you but Benjamin actually ordered us a delivery."
You'd be completely fine eating toast or something light for lunch, as long as you get to eat something and won't stay hungry. Luckily Benjamin was kind enough to take it upon himself to prepare food for all of you, the people that were left behind in the company. Though, to be completely fair you were free to go eat out too, it's not like you have forbidden to do so, but all of you know it wouldn't be convenient today.
"You could've just told me." Jungkook says, sound tilting close to the actual scolding which makes you let out a breathy chuckle.
"Told you what?"
"Well, I could've taken you for lunch. I thought you guys would join us, I didn't know.... If I knew you weren't invited I'd just eat with you."
You smile at his concern, shaking your head lightly while Jungkook frowns even more. "It's fine," you laugh a little, "You can't exactly decline their invitation. It's only polite for you to go. It's no big deal."
"No, it's not... If I just knew..." he mumbles, "I'd decline them anyway."
Now that makes you laugh and Jungkook's lips twitch as he tries to hide a grin.
"What? I don't care if I'm invited or not, or what's polite or not."
"You're lucky Junho seems to like you a lot."
Jungkook shrugs, a cocky expression taking over his handsome face. "What can I say..."
"Don't say anything," you joke, "How's Ester doing?"
"She's actually very good. I knew she'd do a good job." he answers.
Nothing else can be said because Junho ushers everyone to get back to work. Jungkook sighs and gives you one last dreadful look which makes you giggle as he walks away.
The rest of the week goes exactly the same. You and Jungkook go to work together but you separate as soon as you enter the building, this time around Jungkook makes sure to take you out for lunch and Ester joins you, since she doesn't know many people and you wouldn't want her to be left alone when Jungkook is the only person who she knows the most. She actually comes out of her shell and gushes over this opportunity, thanking your friend a few times.
She's sweet, kind and friendly. In a way she reminds you of someone, she's very much similar to her – personality wise and you wonder if Jungkook sees it the same way.
After lunch, you both go doing your job and don't interact with each other (besides the soft smiles whenever your eyes meet) until it's time to go home. You catch up on the way to Jungkook's apartment, get ready to go to bed before you repeat the same process every day.
It's Friday now and you successfully finished this week with a great outcome that's seen for now. After working ten hours of being constantly on your feet and handling stuff, you miss the softness of your bed and Jungkook's huge expensive shower and you have to control yourself not to look grumpy in this nice bar Junho invited some of you to. Just the close circle of his employees and agents from the other company, to apparently celebrate this week.
You weren't as lucky as Yoongi who slipped away through the doors before another word could be uttered. The idiot is probably at home by now, or doing whatever you want while you're stuck in this bar, listening to Junho bragging about useless things.
Most people that were invited you don't know personally, nor you've a close relationship with or any at this point. Excluding Jungkook who couldn't say no because your boss insisted. Even Natalie has been invited, which doesn't surprise you as she charms everyone with her own charms around the table.
She's taking most of Jungkook's attention, the man having a casual conversation with her while you sit next to him like a grumpy cat, swirling your drink. Non-alcoholic drink to be precise and you already regret your decision not to drink tonight.
It's boring and not even when Jungkook tries to keep you entertained whenever he can, it doesn't help much.
You spend the time going through the entire week, lucky there was no drama happening regarding Yoongi or Benjamin. The last time Yoongi and Jungkook interacted with each other, your friend was ready to punch your coworker. Luckily, they never bumped into each other. And Benjamin? He has never questioned you about your relationship with Jungkook, probably thinking you're keeping it professional in the work which you would do either way – with or without a boyfriend. It ultimately made it easier with Ester as well, since she knows you and Jungkook are friends and you're glad it hasn't reached her eyes that you're "dating" Jungkook all of a sudden.
"You wanna go home?" Jungkook asks once he leans in your direction, close to almost brushing his lips against your ear as his scent fills your nostrils.
You've been here for only an hour but if anyone even talks to you, it's just boring conversation that leads nowhere. Damn, you really feel antisocial right now.
"Not if you don't want to," you tell him, knowing you both came here by his car. "I can just take a cab." You change your mind as Jungkook gives you a look.
"Don't be ridiculous," he scoffs gently, "I'll finish the drink and we can go. It's boring anyway." he says the last sentence with a whisper, so nobody else can hear him which makes you bite back a laugh.
Is he lying? He looked like he's having a good time. He talked the most amongst the group which can't be said about you.
"Junho has offered me a job in the company."
Your brows lift up in surprise, Jungkook driving you both home as he lowers the volume of the music that's been pleasantly playing in the background.
"Oh."
"Yeah..."
You had a photographer that used to be employed in the company, but Junho decided to fire him because he "wasn't good enough". Of course you're no professional but you think he had the job done, so him getting fired surprised everyone at that time. That's why your boss stuck to finding a different photographer for each project, instead of employing someone.
"What did you tell him?" you ask.
"That I'd think about it."
"And will you?"
"I don't know," Jungkook chuckles, "It'd be less work for me. It's simpler than being a freelancer and having to sort everything out by myself. But I don't think it'd be a good idea regardless."
"Why not?" you frown.
As much as you complain sometimes about your job, you do like it and you'd be bummed out if you were fired for some reason.
"First of all, I like the fact I'm my own boss. I choose what I want to work on. Besides, I don't think it'd be a good idea if we worked together," he explains, briefly glancing at you to notice your curious gaze but before you can open your mouth, he jumps to explain further. "Friends working together is never a good idea."
"Well, technically we wouldn't work together. I don't really interact with photographers a lot, somebody else does."
"Well yeah, but I wouldn't want to come into your own workplace. That's your place."
"I'm pretty sure it doesn't work like that," you chuckle, "But I understand what you mean."
You find it sweet that he puts you first, even though you don't see a problem with him working at your company. If that's what he wants.
"Me and Jimin worked together."
"Yeah but you met there. You weren't already best friends. That's different. And you only did an internship there."
"Hm, I guess you're right." you hum.
"Anyway, I don't think I'm gonna take it. I didn't want to tell him straight away to look impolite or inappreciative."
"Just so you know, I wouldn't mind whatever you decide on." you assure him and the corner of his lips lifts up.
A minute of silence follows until Jungkook stops at the red light, drumming his tattooed fingers against the steering wheel.
"I'm gonna meet up with Hoseok."
Jungkook manages to shock you a second time within the past ten minutes but this time, your head snaps to his direction as he glances at you, a serious expression on his face.
You know he mentioned talking to him recently, but to be honest you completely forgot about that conversation and you'd never thought of bringing it up to him. That's completely his decision if he wants to talk to Hoseok. You know Jungkook deals with a lot of stuff that's eating him alive, no matter how better he seems to be and assures you he is fine. The betrayal he still feels from Hoseok's action is very fresh but there's at least the slightest amount of understanding, at least you hope so judging from your last conversation you had with him about this topic.
"That's great, Kook," you say, not really sure what to say – due to your shock and wondering what's the right thing to say. You don't want him to doubt his decision and you're glad he is at least moving on. "Did you wait the entire evening to drop all this information on me?" you joke and actually make him laugh as he drives off once the light turns green.
"Wanted to have you all to myself before I do," he jokes and you ignore the set of butterflies his words cause you. "I was thinking about it a lot... I can't promise how our conversation will turn out because I'm still hurt, and I don't think it's gonna go away any time soon... but, I'm willing to talk to him. So I texted him today before I could chicken out because I know I would."
"It's not gonna be easy to hear him out, you're still hurt. But just try to see his perspective a little," you advise him carefully while he stays silent, "However your conversation goes, remember you tried your best."
"Yeah." he exhales a sigh, nibbling on his bottom lip as he brushes his thumb across it.
He knows he has to talk to Hoseok either way before it's too late. He needs to deal with this while it's fresh.
The place they agreed to meet is Hoseok's apartment. At first, Jungkook was thinking about meeting him in a public place because the last time Hoseok was in his apartment, it didn't end well. So many things were left shattered that day. He is more calm now but regardless of that, a public place is not suitable for such a conversation they're about to have.
When Hoseok offered to meet at his place, he agreed. The conversation simple and blunt, straight to the point and it's ridiculous how awkward and tense it seemed even through the stupid texts.
For fuck sake, he even woke up early to have a morning jog just to come back and find you already preparing for your day with Maya. He has barely eaten, too distracted to properly function and with each mile he gets to the final destination, he feels his stomach in knots.
However, he walks to his door with utter confidence knowing he has an upper hand in this. And meeting Hoseok's brown soft eyes full of sadness and regret makes him actually soften. But then he is reminded of what he has done to him and if it weren't enough, the pictures that fill his apartment – pictures of his friends and among them Kiko – he is reminded he is in this position because of her.
Not only she ruined their relationship and possible future, she has also managed to ruin his friendship with Hoseok. A friend he has had for years.
But is he selfish to put all the blame onto her? Clearly, it wasn't his fault what happened. It does feel bitter to know she got involved with more people and he wants to be so mad at her. A part of him still is. But then he looks at her wide smile he fell in love with and tries to think what pain she went through alone. Even though she has done it voluntarily, it still doesn't feel better to know she was in pain. Still is.
"Do you want something to drink? Water, juice or I can make you a drink?" Hoseok asks once the awkward greeting is over, motioning Jungkook to sit down on his couch as he listens and peels away his eyes from the memories in a form of framed pictures.
"Water is fine."
He drove here and even though he could easily drink and call a cab, it's better to stay away from alcohol. Not that he is scared to flip out or something because Jungkook isn't the type to turn aggressive if drinking, but it tends to strengthen emotions. He needs to have a clear mind for this.
"Sure, let me get that for you and then we can talk." he offers him a crooked smile and Jungkook knows it's just a mask to hide his own nervosity.
Hoseok has always been collected, the fun one in the group alongside Taehyung but he could still be stern and serious – definitely more than Taehyung. But he has never seen him like this but it only makes sense. Hoseok has never ruined a friendship with anyone. He is friends with anyone. Well, if he doesn't count the awkward interactions you had with him.
He comes back within a minute, placing the glass in front of Jungkook as he thanks him but doesn't reach for it just yet. Though his throat starts to feel dry, he feels it tightening as he's not sure how to start.
"I'm sorry," Hoseok blurts out suddenly, "I know I said it so many times by now but I can't look you in the eyes without saying it again. It feels awful to feel this tension and awkwardness between us, I know it's my fault..."
"No, it's not..." Jungkook mutters, ignoring the subtle surprise on Hoseok's face as he nervously brushes through his dark hair, staring at the younger. "At least not entirely,"
Hoseok's face drops but he nods in understatement.
"I was so mad at you. I felt betrayed by my own friend and having to come to terms with what happened--it's still hard and it's not easy but I think I'm getting better at understanding you and... her,"
Hoseok's features turn soft, not daring to say a word. Not yet at least.
"It sucks because I'm still mad, a part of me is and I don't think it's gonna go away any time soon," he repeats the words he said to you in his car yesterday, "But Y/N made me think about you more... well at least to try and see things from your perspective as she would say. She actually made us an example,"
He chuckles at the memory.
"And I understood if Y/N came up to me and asked me--asked me what Kiko asked you as her best friend. I would do it in a heartbeat. I would be there for her and keep it a secret because I respect her that much. I think it would be so fucking hard to keep such a heartbreaking secret, but I would do it for her. I guess I was selfish to see things from only my perspective. I was too consumed by the anger and heartbreak."
He hates how Hoseok gives him a pitiful look. He hates when people pity him and that's when he usually chooses not to be vulnerable in front of anyone. He deals with his stuff alone
"And it's totally understandable, Kook," Hoseok says slowly and softly, "I can't imagine what you had to go through and I hate myself for not telling you anything since I knew the truth from day one."
"I know it wasn't easy for you either," Jungkook tells him, finally having the courage to look back into his brown eyes. "I think it would be worse if you actually didn't feel bad." he tries to joke and it helps to soothe out the tension in the room, as Hoseok chuckles but it comes out dryly.
"Ever since I've known," Hoseok says hesitantly, eyes glancing at Jungkook as the younger slowly nods at him to silently tell him it's fine to be honest and open. Even if it might hurt him. "I told her to tell you. She even told me she regrets telling me and dragging me into this. But I'm glad she did, only because she was alone. I know she chose it and I know you're the best thing that happened to her, I encouraged her to tell you before it's too late. To talk to you before she–"
He sets his lips into a tight line as Jungkook gives him a saddened nod, knowing what he is referring to.
"I told her you'd take care of them. I told her even if she decided she doesn't--whatever she decided, you would be there for her every step of the way. But she was so stubborn, she wouldn't listen to me and she panicked. Before she knew, it was too late. When she broke up with you--I scolded her for not telling you the truth but she told me it will hurt you even more than the lie,"
He knows, she told him and it's still hurtful to hear this thing all over again.
"But she put your well-being first. And then you guys got together again and I still told her to tell you because one way or another, you will find out and then she will lose you. I think that intimidated her the most and she caught herself into this web of lies. She loved you so much that the thought of losing you again scared the shit out of her. She regretted her decision and--I know you probably don't want to hear about her or hear her side because what she did–-it was her decision and she had the right to do so. But she still hurt you... a lot."
"No, it's fine. I think I need to hear all of it to be able to fully move on." Jungkook swallows, hearing his heart cracking but something tells him he really needs to hear all of it.
"She started going to therapy shortly after..." he motions with his hands, still not able to say it out loud because it is too painful. For him as well. "She wasn't doing well, Kook. I know you probably don't care–"
"I do," he cuts him off gently, "I don't like the thought of her suffering, despite all."
"Because you have the biggest heart," Hoseok says immediately, cringing at his words which makes both men chuckle a little. "You really do."
"I just don't get it... we were doing so fine. We talked about our future. So what if it happened way sooner than we planned? She wasn't planning to break up with me. Does she think we couldn't be a family? Does she think we couldn't raise a child together? As a father of the child, I had the right to at least know that she is pregnant. Fuck, we had sex just a few days before she broke up with me. Knowing she was pregnant at that time--"
"Nobody would change her mind. Not even you, Jungkook," Hoseok reminds him softly, "I know you think you would... but she was too stubborn. She was depressed and sure of her decision. It backfired and she is gonna live it for the rest of her life. She lost you for good."
Jungkook swallows, wanting to reach for the stupid glass of water but he doesn't want to look weaker than he already is.
"How--How is she?" he asks carefully. Tone perfectly slow and wary, he's not sure if he wants to hear about her but a part of him wants to know.
He hasn't seen her and nobody talked to her in front of him, which is understandable and he knows it was better that way.
"She's in Japan at the moment," Hoseok smiles sadly, "She is with her family and needs to heal. It fucked her up a lot. I think even more because she blames herself knowing it's all on her."
"I...I'm sorry to hear that."
He really is. No matter what happened between them, it's not easy to hear how much she is suffering. He doesn't want her to suffer for the rest of her life. He's not that bitter and bad to actually wish that.
"She will be better," Hoseok says, though Jungkook is not sure if he means it or tries to persuade himself, or both of them. "At first she tried to hide her true emotions, she thought I couldn't see she's faking it... it always ended up with her losing it. It would take hours to calm her down."
"I'm... I'm glad she had you." he says, knowing he wouldn't be able to be that person to her.
Or maybe he could but he's not sure if he was capable, considering his own heartbreak and demons.
"You were the one she wanted," Hoseok admits softly, "But nobody would ask you of that. She really hates herself for hurting you."
"I know," Jungkook sighs, "I don't want her to hate herself."
"Maybe you could tell her that? Maybe in the future? I know it's a lot to ask and I don't want to make it seem as if I'm pressuring you. You've got every right not to see her anymore because I know how much that must hurt. I think you both aren't ready to see each other and most importantly, talk. But maybe the right way to heal is to heal each other?" he asks unsurely.
He definitely doesn't want to push Jungkook's buttons, he already appreciates him being here and this conversation going smoothly, even though it's sad and heartbreaking all over again.
"Maybe," he mumbles, "I'm healing slowly but I guess you're right. I'm not ready though. It still hurts. I can't help but think what if... and all that. I imagine what my life would look like if she didn't... but I guess it happened for a reason?"
"Yeah," he nods slowly and gives him a saddened smile, "Maybe you just weren't meant to be for each other."
"I'm not sure if I believe that," Jungkook frowns, "We loved each other. If she said the truth, things could be different. I wouldn't leave her no matter what."
"Of course, I don't doubt your love," Hoseok reminds him, "I'm sure if things were different, you'd still be together. But I'm glad you're healing. I'm really sorry for what you had to go through. I wish I could change it."
"Maybe it happened for a reason," Jungkook shrugs, though he is still not sure if this is his fate. "I'll have to live either way."
"You look well." Hoseok tells him, searching Jungkook's face. He doesn't look as broken as he once did.
The memory of Jungkook's indescribable face when they last talked together still haunts him to this day. It made his guilt even bigger each time he thought about it.
"Y/N helped me a lot. So did Taehyung and Jimin..." he explains silently. "She made me see things that would take me way longer to realize."
Hoseok smiles and a few moments of silence follows as Jungkook stares at his intertwined fingers.
"Hobi," Jungkook calls out softly to his friend, Hoseok's eyes sparkling at the nickname as a relief washes through him. "I'm sorry for almost punching you."
"No, please, it's alright. I get it."
"No, I was aggressive. If Y/N didn't get between us, I would have punched you. I really wanted to."
"Do you want to punch me now?" He jokes and makes Jungkook's mouth twitch as a playful gaze washes over his eyes before he slowly shakes his head.
"No."
"Good, it would definitely hurt like hell," he chuckles, "But yeah. It was crazy of her to get between us. I told her she shouldn't have done that when I was leaving."
"God, if I punched her accidentally I would've never forgiven myself,"
If that happened, he knows it would be technically your fault because who the fuck gets between two men that are about to fight? Well, between a man who's about to punch the other one.
"She saved the day, though. Didn't she?" Jungkook cracks a smile as Hoseok laughs.
"Yeah, and my face too. Remind me to thank her later."
"I will." he laughs and the air suddenly feels lighter than before. It's still a little awkward but as he stares at Hoseok's joyful face, or at least way more relaxed than he looked in the beginning, he feels relief.
"We are good, yeah?" Hoseok asks unsurely, suddenly turning nervous again as Jungkook stares at him for a second.
And then his lips stretch into the slightest smile, unspoken forgiveness lingering in Jungkook's big and dark eyes. "Yes. We will be."
Once Hoseok stretches his hand to him, Jungkook takes it and is surprised when Hoseok gives him a crushing hug.
"Don't overdo it." Jungkook jokes, slapping Hoseok on his back as he pulls away with no regrets.
Maya looks beautiful in every dress she tries. It does make you emotional to see her in her possible wedding dress, and you have a hard time not to tear up. It's definitely the champagne's fault the woman that works in the shop gives you.
You've lost count how many dresses she has tried so far, each of them unique and beautiful in their own pretty way. Maya has no idea what style to go for, so she picked various styles and has managed to look good in each of them.
You're enjoying this, not only the champagne with a strawberry in it, but it's something new and it's safe to say you've never been in a wedding salon to be a part of the process of picking a wedding dress with your friend. It does distract you from the thoughts of how Jungkook is doing. You do check your phone whenever Maya is in the fitting room.
You don't know what you expect. A message of Jungkook losing it again? A message that everything went well? You know meeting Hoseok is a big deal for him, regardless of how he tried to hide it this morning.
"Crap, there's not enough time. Can you try the dress for me?" Maya pulls you out of your thoughts, your eyes directed on the wedding dress she's wearing at the moment once the woman informs you there's another client coming soon.
It's the last piece Maya has to try, the sleek dress hanging on the hanger for her to try. Just getting out of each dress is taking a lot of time and you think you've got enough time. Apparently you don't and you can already see the stress on Maya's face. This is a big deal for her and this process does make her feel nervous, because she wants everything to be perfect. Even though she tries to look carefree and relaxed.
"Me?"
"Yeah, there's not enough time for me to try it." she whines, sending a glare to the door where the woman working in this salon disappeared. Well, it's not her fault Maya chose too many dresses to try in a span of two hours.
"But our bodies are different," you remind her, "It's gonna look different on me than on you."
"I just need to see how they look on the body. I don't really care whose body it is."
"Oh, okay." There's not enough time to think this through and you stand up, wiping your palms against your jeans as you walk towards the white dress.
The woman comes back from the door, seeing you grabbing the dress as she rushes to you and takes it from your hands to help you. "Let me help you," she smiles kindly, "Are you trying it for your friend?"
"Uhh, yes." you smile nervously and let her lead you to the fitting room.
She helps you to put them on and surprisingly, they fit amazingly. You'd still need a pair of heels because the dress is too long. You walk out of the fitting room, chuckling at yourself.
"Yah, I'm not sure."
Maya looks in your direction, hopping off the circled stair which is placed for brides to stand to see the dress more clearly, since the mirrors surround one side.
"Wow," she lets out, grinning ear to ear. "Don't do this to me girl. You'd be a prettier bride than me."
"Oh, please." you roll your eyes at Maya as she helps you to step on her previous spot.
It's the moment when you turn around to fully look at your reflection under the bright lights that your mouth falls open. Your hair is down, the soft waves you made yourself in the morning actually make you look less casual with this dress on. It's got blouson sleeves, the skirt thin but flowy. It looks like a dress for a princess. You feel like a princess and you can't stop looking at yourself.
"God, you're so beautiful," Maya whines next to you, "I love the dress. How you feelin'?"
"Weird?" you chuckle, "I've never tried a wedding dress before. Obviously." you snort at yourself.
"The dress suits you," the woman joins your conversation, complimenting you as well as your cheeks heat up at their compliments and eyes widened in awe. "You look like a princess."
"I want to look like a queen at my wedding." you joke as both of them giggle with you.
"Let me take a picture," Maya says and hands you your phone to unlock it for her since you've been taking her pictures on your phone, so she can decide on her choice later.
She said like ten times on each dress that "It's the one" and all of them are beautiful, so deciding will be hard for her.
You hand her the phone back and pose for her, even throwing a peace sign as a joke as you laugh together. The owner of the salon, whose name you unfortunately forgot when she introduced you, takes a picture of you two before you have to rush to get out of the dresses so the other client doesn't have to wait once she gets here.
Just as you thank the owner, grabbing your stuff, the other client arrives just in time as you get out of the salon.
"Fuck, it's gonna be so hard to choose." Maya complains but the happiness on her face is clear as the day. "This was so fun. Thank you for coming with me."
"Don't mention it, it was so much fun," you tell her, letting her intertwine your arms together. "Here, let's get an ice-cream and look at the pictures!"
She doesn't refuse, both of you stuffing your face. The entire dress is trying to make both of you hungry.
Once Maya goes to the bathroom later on, you check your phone to see no notifications. You open the chat with Jungkook and jokingly send him a picture of you trying on the dress. You'd show him later anyway but you do want to ask him how's it going.
You're about to lock your phone, thinking he's not going to respond right away and there's a chance he is still talking to Hoseok. Surprisingly, he replies right after you lock your phone.
Kook: 😳
You snort at the emoji, thumb hovering over the screen before another message pops up.
Kook: are you trying to tell me something?
"🙄 what?? No compliments?"
Kook: are you getting secretly married?
"Lol yes"
Kook: who's the lucky guy?
"Not you 😜"
Kook: ouch and here I thought we said we'll get married together if we are not married by the age of 40
"I guess you aren't that lucky then"
"They told me I look like a princess 😎"
Kook: you do
You unawarely bite your lower lip as you stare at his text, wondering what the tone of it is. Deciding that you're not sure what to reply next, because all of this is just a joke, you start typing.
"How's it going with Hoseok?"
Kook: great actually
Kook: I'll tell you at home
Kook: see you until then princess ;)
You send him an emoji of rolling eyes, knowing he must be cackling behind the screen. Putting away your phone, you smile at approaching Maya as you fall into another friendly conversation as soon as she sits down.
Jungkook is in the shower when you come back, the day with Maya dragging longer since you decided to go for a walk and then have a late lunch together before you parted ways. She still hasn't decided on her dress but she still has some time, a few weeks or months. Nobody expects her to choose one on the first day.
You change into more comfortable clothes, grabbing yourself a glass of lemonade when Jungkook joins you in the kitchen.
"What's up, princess?" he teases, greeting you once you turn around to spot him wearing his sweatpants only, hair wet from the shower. He is doing this on purpose, doesn't he?
Not letting yourself to look too affected for various reasons, you roll your eyes at his teasing. "Keep teasing."
"Or what?" he presses, a scent of shower gel and shaving cream filling the kitchen as he leans against the kitchen island, smirking at you.
You clench your jaw, stuffing your hands into the pockets of your sweatpants. "How did it go with Hoseok? Show me your hands."
He rolls his eyes, chuckling a little. "Good, actually," he responds, shaking himself out of the amused mood as he turns serious. "We talked a lot. I'm able to understand him more but... yeah, I think it's going in the right direction."
"That sounds great, I'm glad." you smile and Jungkook returns it.
"We hung out for a little longer and then I went to work out to process it. I feel... surprisingly lighter and more relaxed."
"He is your friend, I can imagine you want to have him in your life."
"Yeah..." he mumbles in thought before he glances up just as you drink the lemonade. "How was your day with Maya? What's with the wedding dress?"
You laugh, "We were running out of time, so Maya asked me to try the dress for her. All the dresses were so beautiful, Kook. So many various styles and materials."
"You had fun, I see."
"I did."
"Did she pick one?"
"No, there were too many and she still has time to decide. We took a picture of each dress, so she has the pictures to choose from. But the prices, oof."
"Isn't she renting the dress?"
"She is, but it's still expensive. We talked about her wedding plans and the money they're about to put in it, fuck. I mean I know organizing a wedding is expensive but the prices she told me--I'm not sure if I'll ever get married." you laugh and Jungkook amusingly rolls his eyes.
"You will." he assures you.
You know you will. You're just joking but the money you need for a single wedding is still a lot. Mind blowing.
"Oh," you suddenly remember, reaching for your phone on the counter as you unlock it. "I wanna show you something."
"What? Another wedding dress?" He jokes as you thrust your phone into his hands, eyes trailing your face amusingly for a moment before he looks at the screen and his features freeze before a slight frown makes it on his face. "What's this?"
"I found this on the internet." you explain, standing next to him as you peek at the screen, a familiar image and text on it.
"Are you moving out?" he asks, surprised.
"I told you I'm searching for apartments and I found this. Look at the pictures, the apartment is so cozy and the rent is actually very good. It's even closer than the building I lived in before. Look, look," you tell him as you swipe the pictures to show him how the building looks from the outside. "Doesn't it look western? It brings me back home. It even has a balcony!"
Jungkook looks at the pictures, reading the information that comes with the ad.
"I didn't contact the person yet, I wanted to show you first. But I think I'm gonna try it and have a look. What do you think?"
He hands you back the phone as he looks a little taken back, which you do notice and it makes your excited features fall down a little. He meets your gaze and suddenly relaxes as he gives you a smile.
"You should try at least."
"Would you come with me? I mean... if you're free that day."
"Yeah, sure. We can check it out together." he assures you and you sigh in relief.
"What's wrong?"
He frowns, shrugging. "What?"
"You look weird. Do you not want me to move out?"
"Do you think I want to?" he asks dumbfoundedly. "I told you you can stay as long as you want." he reminds you.
"No, no that's not what I meant. I know I can stay. But we both know I can't stay here forever."
"Why not?" Jungkook's lips curl as he sits down on the chair and pulls you between his spreaded legs. "I got used to having you here,"
And his hands roam down your lower back as you shiver, looking down at him and how soft his skin looks.
"It's gonna be sad not having you around."
You snort, "You make it seem as if I'm moving to another country," you joke, "I will still be around. Have you grown attached to me, hm?"
Jungkook rolls his eyes, "You know I enjoy your company."
"Mhm, company," you tease as he grins at you, eyes sparkling. "Or something else, don't you?"
"It's not just about sex." he frowns a little as you snort.
"Okay," you nod, knowing that's not what he meant. "But it does make things easier, doesn't it?"
"It does," he agrees, "How will I fuck you? Will we have to make sex apppoitments or something?" he whines and it causes a bubbly laugh rip out of your throat as your hands play with his hair at the back of his head.
"Oh, how awful." you tease and he groans, hiding his face into your stomach as you keep laughing.
He pinches your ass and you yelp, scolding him right after as you're interrupted by Jungkook's ringtone. He reaches for the device, staring at the screen as a low "Fuck" makes it out.
He groans and you look at the screen, seeing "Mom" written on it.
"I was supposed to call her but I forgot." he explains before he accepts the call.
"Yah, Jeon Jungkook! You don't know your mother's number?" Mrs. Jeon scolds him as soon as she realizes Jungkook has accepted her call, even before he can utter a single word.
You hold back a laugh, watching Jungkook pinching the bridge of his nose. "I'm so sorry, mom. This week has been busy and--"
"So busy you can't contact your parents?" Mrs. Jeon continues to scold him as Jungkook shoots you a glare, ready to slap your ass as you dodge it just in time. "Jungwon told me you'll call me and I've been waiting."
"Ah, I know. I'm sorry, mom," Jungkook sighs disappointedly at himself, "I'll make it up to you."
"You will!" she agrees, "I want you to come visit. The last time you were here was for Christmas. It's spring already, spring Jungkook!"
You can't hold it back and you laugh out loud, slapping your hand over your mouth as Jungkook's mouth twitches and he tries to hide a grin. His mom says something as Jungkook sighs.
"It's Y/N. She's here with me."
You hear something muffled, now that her voice isn't as loud as Jungkook sighs. "Wait a second,"
And then he turns on the speaker and places his phone on the counter.
"Okay, she hears you now."
"Y/N, my sweetest girl! Is my son annoying you? Is he cleaning after himself? I heard you live with him, I hope he takes care of you."
You giggle, Jungkook pursing his lips as he looks annoyed at his own mother.
"Hi, Mrs. Jeon!" you greet her cheerfully, stepping closer to the phone so she hears you more clearly. "Don't worry, Jungkook is the nicest roommate."
"I'm happy to hear that. I raised him well!" she praises herself and Jungkook snorts, causing you to elbow him as he shrugs.
"You did." you agree with her, smiling as she asks you how you are and how's your work. Simple and friendly questions you gladly answer.
In the middle of your conversation, Jungkook sneakily starts to caress your ass down your thighs, shooting you a grin as you turn around to glare at him.
"--you need to come to Busan too! Jungkook-ah, take her with you. We need more girls in this household."
Jungkook snorts, "I don't know if Y/N wants to, mom."
Mrs. Jeon stays silent, waiting for your answer. "I mean... if I'm free I'd love to see you and Mr. Jeon again." you reply politely.
"See, Jungkook? Even Y/N wants to see us."
"Mom," Jungkook groans, hand between your thighs as he caresses your inner thigh.
You hate to admit how wet you already are from his touches and he is not even touching your clothed heat.
"I said I'm sorry. You really gonna torture me?"
Mrs. Jeon snorts, "Yes."
"You women are something else."
"Y/N dear, slap him for me."
"Mom!"
You start laughing, Jungkook dropping his hand off your leg.
"Don't worry, Mrs. Jeon. I will punish him." you joke, not realizing how your words sound until it's too late but Mrs. Jeon doesn't put any thought to it as she laughs and supports you.
Jungkook glares at your amused expression that you give him, something flickering in his eyes. "Keep talking," he warns you with a low tone, so his mother doesn't hear him.
You stick your tongue out at him.
"Mom, I will try and come this weekend. I'm sorry for not calling sooner. Say hi to dad from me, okay?"
"You better come this weekend. We miss you and it's been a while. Haru has been talking about her uncle, I'm sure she will be happy to see you again."
"I was just babysitting her, mom." Jungkook reminds her dumbfoundedly.
"And? That's why she can't stop talking about you. Why do you sound so annoyed, Jeon Jungkook? I hope you're not because she is your niece, just wait–"
"Alright, mom. I love you and I will see you next weekend. Bye, love you." And he hangs up before she can say anything else.
He leaves you speechless and you laugh, slapping his shoulder. "That was mean!"
"She was mean too!"
"Genes." you shrug simply and walk away from him.
"Yah!" You hear behind you.
#jungkook x reader#jungkook fanfic#bts angst#bts smut#bts fluff#bts au#jungkook scenario#personasintro
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Masked men x f!reader//18+ (Scenario 2)
TW: 18+, Cnc, somnophila,toy play (vibrators), double penetration, creampie, degradation, name calling (slut,whore), mentions of breeding, minor praise (if you read into it), edging, multiple orgasms.
AN at the bottom!!
FYI:) these are not the same men from the elevator 😉
You were sleeping peacefully, your mind clear, for the most part. You laid on your bed, turning restlessly as you midnight stalked you. As you slowly yet surely drifted to sleep, a visitor decided to make an entry, peeking through your window.
“Yeah, she’s asleep. Out cold.” A man with a ski mask says, dressed in a skin tight black shirt and baggy jeans.
“What are we waiting for, let’s get in and out man.” Another one adds, opening your loose window. Without your knowledge these two men snuck into your room, one of them staring daggers at your sleeping form as it innocently tosses around to an unsourced sound.
“Don’t wake the little princess up, she’s a beauty when she’s sleeping.” The man watching you says, taking off his cheap Halloween mask he bought from Party City. He makes a small dent in your bed, overshadowing your figure, looking at your dolled resting face as his friend sacked through your room for valuables.
“Hah! Look at this. Our little sluts got a few toys.” The man slyly says, turning around to see his friend on top of you, kissing down your half exposed body. All the while you sleep soundly, not aware of anything. “Wanna put these to good use?” The man ask, taking a vibrator out from your “secret” box from under the bed. The man shrugs, pushing up your shirt to expose your naturally perked nipples, immediately taking to sucking them dry.
“Taste so fucking sweet. Her tits taste like pound cake.” The man adds, groaning on your breast, making your face scrunch at the sensation. Meanwhile, the man at the bottom of your bed works to take your panties off. “Someone’s enjoying this- our little slut’s getting wet for us.” He slides his fingers up and down your puffy slit, stopping to massage your sweet clit. He takes his fingers and sucks them clean, feeling a rush from your taste, forgetting all about looting your house. He doesn’t wait, turning on the naughty vibrator, tapping it on your pussy to see if you react.
You wince in your sleep, folding your position to your back as your legs curl then uncurl, trying to be rid the buzzing as it tickles your nerves. “She likes it. I can’t tell if she’s asleep or just faking it~” the man at your breast adds, kissing your face, closing into your ear where he licks it, whispering dirty words as his friend teases your pussy with your vibrator.
As the vibrator hits your clit, feeding a pattern of sexual tension, you stir awake, the first thing you saw was 2 men experimenting with your pussy. “Wha-“ before you could finish your sentence the man closest to you grabs your mouth, the vibrator falling to the ground as the other man comes around to manhandle you to the wall, forcing you off the bed. “Now listen, you scream you’re gonna regret it alright you little bitch?!” The masked man spits out, grabbing another vibrator from your box. Your stomach drops as you realize what they’ve been doing to your body for who knows how long. The man kisses your cheek, moving across your face as his buddy plays with your pussy. “Just a slut aren’t you?! Getting all wet in your sleep, waking up surprised. You were waiting for us!” The man aggressively spit, finding his hand roughly slapping your pussy, the other man still holding your mouth grinding his clear hard clothed cock on your ass. “No point in screaming if you’re not screaming my name baby…making me into a rut with yout slutty ass huh? Putting on a show for me baby? Like showing off?” The man teases, pulling your nipples as you groan, giving muffled pleas as your pussy sobs with slick. A tight slap comes to your ass and pussy as the men degrade you. You look at the man holding your mouth, your eyes lidded with fear, and bubbling desire. “Like what you see? What, my little slut getting horny from getting her little tight pussy destroyed?~” “you gonna cum? Fucking cum then, do it you little whore!” He roars uncovering your mouth only to replace it with his mouth as the masked man attending to your pussy stuffs his fingers inside, keeping the vibrator on your clit.
You muffle a moan as your tongue intertwines with the unmasked man while his friend looks up at you, the rest of his face covered, his eyes being shone through the lusty moonlight. “Cum on my finger baby girl, make my fuckin’ night and cum! Cum!” You roll your eyes back, squirting out your juices on the poor vibrator and the masked man’s fingers. Above, you two break the kiss, ending with you still orgasming as the men laugh, their hands extending your orgasm by torturing your cunt. “That’s my girl! A fucking fountain!” The unmasked man shouts, stuffing his fingers inside you to extract more, making your legs shake from how sensitive you were.
“P-please, no more…to much!” You beg, squinting your eyes shut as they assault your body. “We’ve just began princess!” He says, throwing on the bed, the masked man lifting you up like it’s nothing, sitting you on top of him. “Strip my pants baby…” he whispers, leaning into your ear and nibbling it. “I said STRIP MY FUCKING PANTS!” He booms, his friend across the room, already squeezing out of his clothes, his entire body exposed. You shakily grasped his pants, unbinding his cock from his boxers, watching as it sprinted up, slapping against your wet, twitching cunt, resting against your stomach. Your eyes widen seeing his length. “H-how do you even keep that in your pants?!” You found yourself saying, you look across the room to see his naked friend with the same, if not bigger length than him, stalking towards you with a devious smirk. “It’ll work baby. Just focus on taking our cocks, for now.” He motions to your mouth, slapping his twitching, leaking cock on your lips. You feel your pussy pooling similar slick onto the masked mans’ jeans. “My cock appreciates the compliment sweetheart~” the masked man grumbles out through his deep voice. You focus on the cock that now sits on your lips, kissing his tip as he groans, clearly sensitive. “Go on baby, suck it.” You do as your told, your eyes meeting his as you shive your throat down his length all the while the masked man under you drives his cock teasingly up and down your slick cunt. “Gonna be able to take both of us baby? Gonna be good and scream our fucking names?” You nod, muffling a content ‘yes’. “Good fucking girl…” the masked man grunts, pushing his cock inside your heat, you moan in squeezing pain and pleasure as he sinks inside you, you being busy focusing on the cock that ramming into your mouth.
“Gonna fuck this pretty cunt…ugh, real good honey…” The masked man immediately goes from settling you on his cock balls deep to fucking you balls deep. You moan and shiver under the pounding you were getting from this man, making the other man’s cock twitch inside your mouth, precum coating your tongue, slipping down your face. “G-gonna cum down that pretty little throat! Take a-all my fucking seed!” The man hisses, your pussy growing more wet as his friends cock demolishes your cunt. You suck the man’s cock harder, feeling your eyes roll back and your mind grow dumb. The man thrust into your mouth, your pussy getting plowed faster as the masked man reaches for your tits, his ski mask lifted just enough so he can access your nipples. You moan and close your eyes from being overstimulated, feeling as the man cums down your throat, you hungrily swallow it up, becoming a cock drunken slut. You open your mouth, still bobbing up and down on the grunting masked mans cock. “So good for me~ not a single drop wasted~ good job baby, I should reward you for being a good girl!” The masked man gruffly laughs, eyeing his friend and ultimately stopping, popping out of you. You look behind you, confused and needy.
“Aww don’t worry babygirl, we think you did so good you deserve more than one cock filling up your little body~” the masked man says, whispering in your ears, you flip your head down to your messy, oozing cunt to see the men lined up at both on your holes. Your eyes go wide, waiting for pure extacy to ensue. You grind on the cocks, groaning as you look into their eyes.
“You gotta beg us baby, beg us to plow your holes like no tomorrow, beg us to fuck you until you can’t remember your own name.” The man adds, rubbing his cock down your slit, popping it in and out, hissing at how your walls tried to clench around him.
You look up at him, your eyes teared and drool dripping down your face. “P-please fuck my tight little cunt~ please mark my pussy with your load until I can speak, please fuck me dumb!” You beg, taking the men’s cocks and stroking them while pleading. Both men hiss and slowly thrust into your palm, shaking out of it and laughing, aiming at your holes. “Since you asked so nicely~” the masked man said, lifting you up and settling you done on his cock, his dick entering your tight little asshole slowly. His size making you arch your back, screaming. The other man follows close behind, stuffing himself balls deep inside your juicy, raw cunt. You attempt to scream, the only thing coming out is broken moans as your holes fill, your stomach presenting a small bulge where you can see their cocks. “S-so damn tight!” The men say, thrusting inside you. The pace was rough and spontaneous. Your body jerked around, moans and the smell of sex filled the air quickly. “F-feels t-to good!” You add, rolling your hips, trying to rut them to go faster. They nod, going faster, their balls slapping against you.
“Baby, your getting tight, you gonna cum?! Dirty whore, cumming already?!” The masked man screams out, taking a hold of your waist and one hand moving to your clit, you feel electric sting through your body as he rubs your clit while pouring you harder. “Yes, right there! Right there! Yes- a-a-ah f-fuck!” You moan out, cumming on the men cock. The men laugh, your lewd juices mixing with their pounding, making noises. “Oh fuck, I’m cumming!” The unmasked man that’s taking your pussy announces, you reach for your clit, rubbing it with vigor, desperate for their cum. “Fuck baby, tell me to fill your hole up! Tell me to knock that sweet womb up!” You turn your head back, still in your orgasm, kissing the man revenging your ass. “Fuck me full of cum, fuck me, fuck me, fuck!-“ before you finish your pleas the men grunt in harmony, exploding inside of you. They thrust their hips, fucking the cum deeper before slowing their hips. A slow silence falls on you all, groans and moans filling the room. The men lift you up, switching positions.
“W-wait n-no!-“ before you could protest the men roughly insert themselves back inside you, the masked man on your pussy and the other taking your ass. You shake as they do one hard pound into you, feeling the leftover cum drip down your thigh. “You didn’t think we were done yet did you? I still need a taste of this sweet ass, plant my seed everywhere on your body.” The unmasked man says, chuckling in your ear, nibbling on it as he takes you, thrashing his cock inside your ass. The masked man kisses your pussy, licking up bits of cum and your juices while stroking his cock. “Your sweet little body tired already princess?” The gruffly masked man says, pushing on your puffy clit. You moan, tears flowing down your eyes as they pounce on you. The masked man finally plowing into your pussy, stuffing the fleating cum back inside your womb. “Gotta make sure your nice and full baby.” He gruffs out, grunting as he pounds you dumb. You squirm under them, your mouth singing beautiful moans, kissing the man destroying your ass as he grips your tits, squishing them in his palms. “So fucking good, damn girl, your so fucking good!” He moans out, letting his voice get the best of him as his sensitive cock dives deeper inside your ass, you arch further at the new length both of them reach, the masked man going to your cirvix.
You feel your stomach having the familiar coil from the past lovemaking minutes. “Gonna cum again? Naughty girl, tsk, tsk, tsk.” The man below you bellows as they slow their thrust, stopping. You whine, grinding trying to create friction. “You know what you need to do sweetheart~” The masked man says, rubbing sensually against you, your walls clinging to him.
“Please fuck me, I love your cocks ramming my holes~ I wanna spray your cocks with my cum~, I need your cocks to fill my stupid cunt and asshole up with your milk~ may I please have all of your delicious cum?~” you say, looking into the masked man’s eyes, your eyes glistening as they plead with neediness and pure rut. They laugh, looking at each other before slamming back into you the masked man lifting his ski mask up to suck your lips, you moan and grind as the bubbling feeling of your climax was close. “Fucking cum like a good girl!” You cum on command, exploding your hot squirt over their cocks, splashing your juices around as they pound you through your climax. The man under you groans, feeding you his hot load after 3 long thrust. “Fuck… not gonna-“ the masked man grunts, ramming his cum deep inside your pussy, his heavy load making your stomach full. Fuck…you’re intoxicating…” the masked man whispers as his head bumps against yours, his eyes penetrating into yours. You smile, kissing his lips some more before the man under forces your face into his, kissing his lips as you roll your hips into their cocks. They unload their cocks out of your holes, leaving them to instantly leak cum. You flop onto the center of your bed, the men falling beside you smirking as they rested their heads on their hands, admiring your fucked out body. “What do you say princess?” They ask, surrounding you as you lay between them.
“Thank you~”
And to think they were here to steal from a pretty slut like you.
———————————————————————
AN:) Hey guys, I wanted to say how happy I am we reached 200+ followers! I meant to make this post sooner but with school I find it hard to maintain a regular schedule. (I really wanted to do kinktober! (*´Д｀*), anyway, thank you sm for the support and I’m glad to be making content that you guys enjoy! If you have any suggestions on what you’d like the 200+ special to be, I’m open! (If not I’ll probably end up doing a 2-part post with 2 different characters.)
#yandere#yanderecore#fanfic#cybercl0ne#masked men#masked man#hornyposting#hornyaf#200 followers#tumblr milestone#smut#smut x reader#mask kink#face mask#mask#commission#female#female reader#fantasy
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