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honesthammie · 3 years

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Thought I'd start doing some prompts, im gonna do them all eventually but I'd thought I'd share some I've seen or thought of on my own with other writers that may need inspiration.

Look in the tabs for fandoms and characters i will do, hopefully.

1)"Look, I'm glad you've saved everyone and all that, but it's time someone told you to take care of you."

"I'm fine."

"No you're not, and furthermore, if you don't take care of you, think of all the people who need you in the future who won't have you!"

2) Reader accidently get sent to Hell instead of Heaven. The King of Hell tells you to make yourself at home while he sorts it out with God. Little did you realise how much you liked it there

3)"On a scale from one to ten, how bad do you think it would be if-“

"At least a twenty."

4) After reaching your 16th birthday you gain the ability to see everyone's red strings of fate and on your 18th you finally get to see yours, except yours dissappears into the ground/sky.

5) "What do you see when you look at me?"

6) Everyone is born with 2 tattoos that has a symbol on each wrist. One for their soulmate and another for their biggest enemy. The reader only has 1.

7)"Why are you still here?"

"Because I care about you, you asshole."

8)"Your hair is so soft.."

9) "It's too cold! Come back!"

10) "No, I'm not letting you go. It's too early to get out of bed."

11) "C'mere, you can sit in my lap until i'm done working."

12)"I'm not going to stop poking you until you

give me some attention."

13) "Shh, you're safe. I won't let you go."

14) "What? does that feel good?"

15)"Just pretend to be my date."

16)"He/She did it." "No he/she did."

17) "I think I'm in love with you and I'm terrified."

18)“No no-it's alright, come here."

19)"I'm not going to leave you. You're never going to have to suffer by yourself again, I promise."

20) Everyone has a guardian angel. Except the reader. Something went wrong in system and now you're stuck with a guardian Demon. Fortunately, they seem more effective at helping you succeed.

21)"I love you from the bottom of my heart, but I don't trust your cooking. Stay out of my kitchen."

22)"I am way too sober for this."

23)"If I go through with this, I die. If I don't go through with this, we all die."

24)"Why are you doing that?"

"Doing what?"

"Treating me like a person."

25)"What the heck is that?!"

"My cat."

"Cats don't have eight legs!"

26)"Hey, I didn't kill anyone today!"

"What do you want? A gold star?"

27)His voice brought back memories of dark rooms and broken bones.

28)"Why do people keep trying to put this blanket on me?"

"Because you're in shock."

"That doesn't mean I need a blanket. It means I need booze."

29)"I can't believe you haven't killed each other yet."

"We shared a room together in (enter what type of school here). If we could survive that, we could survive anything."

30)"Sometimes memories are the worst form of torture"

31)"How do you destroy a monster without becoming one?"

32)"Why aren't you afraid of me?"

"Seriously? I have worse nightmares about failing my exams"

33)"What is that THING in your backpack?"

"It's my new pet dragon."

"Dragons aren't real!"

"Then why is there one in my backpack?"

34)"I had a thought."

"Oh no."

"I swear it's a good one this time!"

35)"Are you there?"

"Physically, yes. Mentally is debatable."

36)"Are you clinically insane or incredibly annoying?"

"I don't know, I probably both."

37)“Are you SURE I can't punch him in the face?"

"Yes."

"What if I just break his nose a little?"

38)"It's a long story."

"You conned me into thinking you were dead for eleven months. I have time."

39)"Death wants you to be terrified, but the scariest thing is wanting death."

40)"What's our exit strategy?"

"Our what?"

"Oh my god, we're all I going to die."

41)"How's the meeting?"

"I want to stab everyone."

"Don't get blood on your dress. We have dinner reservations at seven."

"Love you for enabling me."

"Love you too."

42)"What can I do to make you feel beautiful as as you look to me?"

43)"Once hope becomes a symbol, you cannot kill it. Give it a name, and it will never truly die. You have to dismantle it and let the world watch on as it crumbles in on itself."

44)"Don't you have a country to run?"

"My favorite person is in the hospital, the people can wait."

"I don't think it works like that."

"I rule over them, so it does."

45)"Are you really still a princess if your kingdom is in ruins? If there is no one left to rule over but corpses?"

46) Reader stealing lovers clothes

47)"How did you do that?"

"Maybe if you spent less time rambling you'd have figured it out"

48)"You-you are-"

"Beautiful, a genius, immensely talented"

"Dangerous."

49)"And if the world thinks it can keep us apart, then it hasn't been paying attention because there is nothing, nothing! wouldn't do just to I stay by your side."

50)Take apart every word I've ever said, strip me of every action I've ever taken. Then know, for certain, that mean it when I tell you I love you."

51)"Do you trust her?"

"No. but I ... trust her anger."

52)"I'm trying to have a serious conversation with you!"

"And I'm trying to subtly avoid it!"

53)"Where's your shoe?"

"The giant mud puddle demanded a sacrifice"

54)"People can do can worse things than kill you."

55)"Give my regards to the Devil."

"I will."

"And remind him that he still owes me fifty bucks for helping him out that one time."

56)"Hate to break it to you, but we're both someone else's science experiment."

57)"Timing is key"

"Says the one thats always late"

58)"Right now, I don't know if I want to kiss you or shove you off a bridge."

"Can I pick?"

59)"This? These tears? They are not a weakness. They show how strong you are and how strong you've been. And when you're done, look back and know that you were strong enough to overcome what you once thought to be impossible."

60)"Act natural."

"For this kind of situation, the most natural thing would be to panic, so technically I can panic."

"NO, that's not what I meant! Act like it's a normal day!"

"My 'normal' days of late, consist of a lot of panic."

"Will you just cooperate?"

"When a person is panicking, they are not apt to cooperate very well!"

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waywardnajsepticeye · 3 years

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Wings Around Nightmares

Ranboo woke up in a cold sweat. Hyperventilating, he looked around.

He wasn’t in the prison.

He was in his room.

Then....why did he see his save point?

Why did the prison collapse around him?

What happened?

With his head pounding, he crawled out of bed. He was just dreaming, but it felt so real. Too real.

Hesitantly, he walked through the door of his shack. Ranboo squinted his red and green eyes at Techno’s house. The enderman took a deep breath and made a quick journey over there.

He opened the door, scrunching up his face as it creaked rather loudly. Ranboo didn’t hear anyone wake up, so he was in the clear. He stood there for a second, just looking around. A shiver went down his spine. That nightmare continued to haunt him. It’ll haunt him for a while, he hated that. He shook himself back into reality.

Ranboo tiptoed out of the main area and into the hallway. He crept up to the second door of the hallway. He gripped onto the doorknob, turned it and opened it. It was Phil’s room. The bedroom was filled of snoring.

“M-Mr. Minecraft? Phil?”

With the call of his name woke the hardcore man. Phil rubbed his eyes and got a good look at Ranboo, with his eyes looking scared and upset. “Ranboo? What are you doing up so late, mate?” Phil asked tiredly.

The enderman folded his hands nervously.

“I had a nightmare.”

“A nightmare? Oh god. Are you....okay?”

“Nope. Not at all.”

“Alright, mate. Let’s get you some tea.”

“O-Okay!”

Phil rolled out of bed and told Ranboo to follow him to the main area. “Stay quiet. We don’t wanna wake Techno up.”

Techno likes to have his peaceful sleep. You can’t do anarchy while you’re tired as fuck.

Philza searched through the chests looking for bottles of tea. He found two bottles and gave Ranboo a bottle. He sat down beside the enderman and wrapped the wing that was not broken around him. Ranboo realized this, but didn’t say anything. He didn’t want to be much of a burden. He liked that Phil was gentle with him, treating him like his own child.

“Soooo, you don’t mind telling me about your nightmare?”

“Uh, mhm. So, I want to the prison that Sam built. You know, Awsamdude? He’s the warden there. Sam was really nice to me, but he had some strange agreements I had to sign. A-Anyways, he did some exams and he let me through. I was going to finally visit Dream.”

Phil almost choked on his tea and stared at Ranboo with shocked. He would to say something but he held it back. He continued to listen to Ranboo.

“-and then everything....everything collapse. I didn’t what happened. I tried to save but-but I couldn’t and then I woke up. It felt too real. It was too real, i-it was terrifying. I-”

“Ranboo, it’s okay. That nightmare you had wasn’t real. You’re here. Y’know, I’ve had a lot of nightmares too.”

The enderman’s hears perked up. Philza Minecraft? Having nightmares? It was more likely than you’d think.

“I had a lot of nightmares about killing my son. You know....Wilbur?”

“Y-Yeah. That sucks though.”

“Yes, it does. After the 16th of November, I’ve had nightmares ever since. They’ve stopped now, but I still fear that they might come back.”

Ranboo felt a little bit reassured about his nightmare. He sipped his tea while listening to Phil tell stories of SMPEarth. Eventually, Ranboo felt asleep in the crevice of Phil’s wing. Philza smiled and patted the enderman’s head.

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katekyo-hitman-aus · 3 years

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Guided Sky (?)

Au where Tsuna accidentally meets Skull and ends up traveling all across the world while doing schooling with Skull. The baby just accidentally got lost in Japan while he was on break for a while after he went to Disneyland.

Lucky baby, the boy thought while burying his face in homework he never understood.

To add more salt to his wounds, Nana actually hired him in order to be a tutor! And oh he was smart. Everytime Tsuna tried to outsmart him, Skull would just point out the plot holes and make Tsuna question everything he did.

The baby had the mind of an adult and it freaked him out and only him since babies could become this smart at the age of 1! Everyone ignored the fact that Skull could also do things not even adults could do like flip off of a rooftop without breaking his little baby ankles.

The baby was exhausting as hell and gave him heart attacks everytime he did something for his “job” in the first 2 weeks even in school. It would nearly kill the kid every time Skull followed a teacher or peer classmate without any problem. Including his bullies!

Tsuna went along with Skull’s antics only because Skull’s presence made it less likely for Tsuna to get in trouble or bullied. It started happening the day after he got sick, due to his bullies dumping toilet water on him. Skull was very calm that day and left him to his own devices for once.

But Tsuna’s tutor was 90% a wild kid despite his IQ. And to make things even more bizarre, Tsuna’s grades were gradually climbing up which was a miracle. Skull gave him a box of treats on golden week for passing all of his exams with a 70 or higher. He used to get 20’s and 10’s as a reference….

Skull shuddered at his previous scores before he dragged the young kid and Nana to some nice places in Japan that even Nana never knew about.

They all got to wind down and have fun in all the attractions, even Nana started acting like a kid. It was a common occurrence to see the son and mother running around in some other city for an hour or two before actually shopping around. As usual, nobody noticed the purple baby or thought the baby was a creepy doll in every city they went to.

It was the best week ever. Skull got a cat ear umbrella set with pastel raincoats for the 3 of them (Skull used it as a robe). And the food was amazing! Skull even hooked Nana up with some cooking professionals and Tsuna got a 80.5% discount on most of the things he bought related to anime or other types of books. In fact, he ended up discussing anime in an internet cafe with 3 adults who lowkey looked very familiar.

It was actually Skull’s friends who were equally intelligent as him and actually created their own big companies. Sadly, the week of fun had to end but they did end up getting a bunch of stuff which filled up 7 giant suitcases of stuff. Half of it was a bunch of stationery and a few questionable things in Skull’s bags along with a few key chains/kimonos. Nana and Tsuna bought out half of a bakery and a few other things they kept separate from each other.

After the initial bliss of golden week, he successfully did his work without any late homework and smiled at the teachers for once.

Now that he actually did his homework everyday, the teachers got bitter at the fact that he seemed to do way better, and the students left him alone.

Tsuna frowned at the hostility the teachers had and told Skull and his mother about the events after a week of the same treatment..

It was only a month later that all the teachers his class was assigned had been illegitimate student teachers who barely helped their professors or couldn’t even get into a basic college…. Namimori middle school had separated since basically almost all of the teachers didn’t even gain a degree…unsurprisingly, the terrifying demon expanded school territory. He shivered.

The demon of Namimori had terrorized Kokuyo afterwards. It was only a few miles away from the outskirts of Namimori Middle.

“Tsu-kun?”

“Mhm?” said son nodded up, his lap covered in wrinkled papers and documents. Nana bit her lip nervously.

“Well, I know Namimori isn’t the best so me and Skull think it would be better if you studied in another place….” She looked at Tsuna for confirmation.

He nodded slowly, putting away the school files and recommendations.

“I think you should be studying somewhere with Skull. I don’t know why but after we both met Skull, I feel a lot more wary for you, honey.” Her forehead crinkled in displeasure as she hugged Tsuna.

“Are you going with me?” Tsuna inquired, his eyes sharpening at her hunched pose.

“Sadly, no. I have no place anywhere outside of Namimori…. and if Iemitsu hears about me disappearing, he will search for me. Your father is a very… focused person. I would let him go but I’m scared of what he’d do to you or anyone else…. it’s not that hard to realize how tenacious Iemitsu is if you knew him dear.” She chuckled mirthlessly, her eyes darkening but prideful at the same time.

He protested but nothing could pass out of mouth, he shut his mouth after 5 minutes of silence.

“…what do you say?” his tutor stood at the door, having been there for the whole conversation. Skull’s eyes pierced through his soul. Tsuna froze in some unknown emotion and turned towards his mother. She tearfully smiled at him, getting up to make dinner.

He shook in disbelief…. Skull or his mother.

Tsuna frowned, grasping his mother’s hand. After a week of not doing anything, he reluctantly greeted his mother farewell which broke his heart. Skull gave them closure for the next 3 hours.

While they were going to the airport, Nana had texted her son and so forth, both sides missing their family member like crazy.

After 3 years, Tsunayoshi visited Japan for the first time alone and a Hitman entered Japan. Both people could feel a pit in their guts, unsure of what it was.

As for Skull, he had abandoned Tsunayoshi with a plane ticket and 3 checks that could buy out a small town on his 16th birthday, though Tsunayoshi had understood. It wasn’t Skull’s place to help the Vongola no matter how much Skull loved his pupil.

It was very obvious to Tsuna that the Vongola or it’s allies had done something devastating to Skull’s life since the cloud was so understanding. Tsuna’s palms turned clammy for the first time in a long time, gripping the cloud flame fused crystal in his hand. It was the only thing Skull truly gave that indicated his bond with the 16 yr old.

His sky flames braced him for the worst as he stepped onto Japanese ground, sharply inhaling as observant sun flames doused the airport, the hitman’s eyes scanning for the Japanese heir he needed to train.

Then they made eye contact. Reborn did not like this brat, Leon tensed and curled up on his shoulder away from the Sky’s stare. A snarky grin makes it out of the teenager as well as anger from his Cloud’s experience with the hitman.

Sun and Sky flames set each other off, creating humidity in the air conditioned airport.

(Somewhere in a quiet place, Skull woke up with orange and purple eyes, instinctively reaching for a silver shortblade behind his pillow. Sensing the irritating sun flames through his sky, he pushed out the sun to balance the powers of a grown man with developed flames in comparison to a teenager with a weakening seal that was slowly disintegrating his muscles and organs..

He hoped nothing too bad would happen to what was his. Or there would be hell to pay. He went back to sleep with restlessness in his body.)

#Guided Sky (?) Au #khr #katekyo hitman reborn #katekyo hitman aus #sawada tsunayoshi #khr skull #submission

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illogicallyinclined · 4 years

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i just got my license!!!! can i have some hockey au car experiences, with focus on ocs? 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

congrats 🎉 🎉 🎉 have some driving boys

tws: intrusive thoughts mention, car accident mention, seizure mention

Core 8, brief rundown

D does not drive. 0/10 absolutely won’t do it. he does not have his official driver’s license, and he has no intentions of trying to get one any time soon

Logan, as mentioned before, is not a big fan of driving, but he got his license per his father’s insistence, and he generally knows what he’s doing behind the wheel; he hates driving in Florida -- because yikes -- but he usually ends up signing on to be a designated driver when needed anyway

Virgil is stressed out by Many Things and, for the longest time, driving was no exception; however, he got his license as soon as he was able to because he knew that being able to drive would help his mom out a lot, and to his surprise, he’s actually kind of come to enjoy it now that everything’s down to muscle memory. he, however, still cannot stand roundabouts.

Roman got his license at 16 after being tutored by one of the strictest driving instructors this world has ever seen; having said that, he’s an impeccable driver, much to the team’s surprise. he cannot, however, parallel park. (the fact that he managed to do it for his driving exam still astonishes him to this day)

Remus, despite having the same instructor, speeds like nobody that you have Ever Met. he’s also prone to intrusive thoughts while he’s driving, so. (he’s not usually someone you’ll find behind a wheel, but it doesn’t bother him all that much. bus interactions are so much more fun anyway)

Remy’s dad bought him a Lexus for his 16th birthday, so Remy treats that car with the utmost respect. he’ll occasionally speed on long, empty stretches of road with the windows down for the Aesthetic -- which has got him caught in a couple of speed traps -- but he’s a pretty careful driver everywhere else, all things considered

Emile didn’t get his license until he was 18 because he genuinely didn’t feel the need to until he was heading off to college. Remy was usually more than willing to drive him places up until that point, but Emile had a lot of stuff to move from California to Florida, so he crash-course learn how to drive over the span of a couple of months and tested out for his license a few weeks before leaving for college

Patton’s older sister taught him to drive when he was 17, and although he failed his first exam because parallel parking is a Nightmare, he passed his second time with flying colors.

OCs

as explained by @ephemeral-afterlight in the hockey AU server: Callen likes to believe he's some insanely talented race car driver but in reality he can barely reach the pedal and he drives like he's always in a golf cart

as explained by @ilovepeter3000: Alex Jones a great driver, though he has some serious road rage when he’s in the car on his own; he grew up in Montana, so he’s always on the lookout for wildlife

speaking of road rage, Holly’s is terrifying and epic. use your blinker, or die by his sword

Julian didn’t get his license until he was 20 because driving,,, scary. even now, he doesn’t drive all that often or all that far.

Jared is from Texas, and he drives like it; catch him going 90 in a 70, or 45 in a 30

Payton is, surprisingly enough, the least destructive of the No Brain Cell Squad drivers? (well, save for Bo, who is more-or-less an honorary member. One Brain Cell Squad). whereas Jared failed his drivers exam three times and Remus failed it five, Payton only failed it once, and he did so because he was instructed to take a left, forgot which way that was, and took a right instead

Bo follows the law, and when Jared clowns him for it, he brake-checks Jared So Fast that Jared can’t even see it coming

Myles had to leave his car behind when he transferred from the UK to America, which is,,, probably for the best. unlearning what side of the road to drive on would be hard as hell, though he’s ready to cross that bridge when he comes to it later down the line

Peter drives,,, so badly. like. hands-the-wheel-over-to-his-friend-for-a-second kind of driving. horrible with directions. someone help this man.

David, in contrast, is somehow a directional wizard. if he’s seen a route once, he’ll remember it for the rest of his life.

Jamie’s with D in the “no license squad,” though his lack of license is because he never really had anyone available to teach him. he figures it’ll be fine, though; if he ends up working in a big city like he wants to, public transit would be more than adequate for getting around

Teddy lowkey drives like a stereotypical grandmother; very cautious, very slow. however, unlike over half of these heathens, he hasn’t gotten a single ticket, so.

Alex R had a seizure while he was driving back in high school, so he’s a much more cautious driver now. he mostly sticks to local areas, relying on friends or public transit if he needs to go anywhere further.

Extra

Remus failed his driving exam five times, four because he was speeding, one because he offended the instructor by telling her that her skirt looked like moldy moss (which was a compliment, geeze, what crawled up her butt and died?)

despite having his license, Virgil doesn’t actually have a car. he just drove the same one as his mother when she needed him to run errands or drop her off/pick her up from places

also, Virgil’s not necessarily all that afraid of driving anymore, but he once saw an alligator chilling on the street while he was driving with Logan one night, and he didn’t care for that shit At All

Julian is like. deathly afraid of encountering wildlife on the roads. he’d sooner crash than hit something, so squirrels have lowkey become his worst nightmare

Payton’s got an old, beat-up truck, so he’s the go-to guy on the team if someone needs to buy and move new furniture

Jared once put off paying a ticket for So Long that there he actually got a warrant for it. he eventually ended up paying it off, but the few weeks that he spent saving up money were the safest he’s ever driven in his life

aside from Alex R, other players who have been involved in car accidents include D (when he was a child), Roman (who was in a mild fender-bender that decidedly wasn’t his fault at 17), Emile (whose older brother hit a fence), and Bo (whose dad went off the road during an ice storm)

#keys-memes #hockey au #hockey hcs #full cast #ocs #long post #cursing #seizure mention #car accident tw #tag urself im julian

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ggukcangetit · 4 years

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Dreamcatchers 5

Pairing: jungkook x oc

Summary: DI Jeon didn’t need a new partner. Unfortunately, his superiors felt otherwise; especially considering the extremely high-profile murder that had just taken place in the port city. Recent transfer, DI Choi Yuri finds herself confronted with a new cityscape, unfamiliar people, a hostile partner, and a homicide that is certain to bring back unpleasant memories.

Genre/AU: fluff/action/mystery | detective! au | police!jungkook, police!oc

Word Count: 3.7k

Rating: NC-17

Warnings: mentions of violence, alcohol, blood, drugs, death. basically stuff you’d associate with a murder mystery/crime drama.

Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | A/N: found a lovely group of people at bsh and their enthusiasm is infectious enough to get me to write a lot more than i had originally planned. reminding everyone that this story features a named oc because i’m still very unfamiliar with writing second person reader inserts. i’m not aiming for strict accuracy in this story, and all criminal investigation/forensics knowledge i have has been gathered by watching crime drama/procedural dramas! my knowledge of geography is also not totally accurate so apologies for that. once again, one thing right by @hobios prompted me to write a police inspector! jungkook story. would highly recommend reading that because it’s probably one of my most favorite pieces of writing! additional note: the timeline at the end of the post is what i imagine yuri and jeongguk were constructing on the station’s white board in the last scene.

20th December

Seokjin was inside his bakery, getting ready to open in a little bit, when frantic knocking interrupted him. Checking his watch, he saw that it was 6.52 am, which meant that he had 8 minutes until opening. While people in this town were known to wake up at the crack of dawn, he had never had anyone knocking at his door before opening time. A second set of knocks - much louder this time - made him rush over to the front door.

"They've arrested Jimin on suspicion of murder."

Taehyung stood there looking more lost than he had ever seen him. Even more than when he had found Seokjin months after the latter had left home. Even more than when he had been given the responsibility of taking over the company. Taehyung, who struggled to wake up in time for 10 am meetings, was wide awake before the clock struck 7 and looked like he hadn't slept a wink the previous night.

"Did you run all the way here?" Seokjin asked. Taehyung's hair looked windswept and beads of perspiration lined his forehead despite it being the middle of winter.

"Why've they arrested him? He would never do something like that!"

"Come inside first. You'll catch a cold if you stay outside like this."

Once inside, Taehyung didn't look any less perturbed - his expressive eyes glistening with many different emotions. Seokjin brought out a cup of hot chocolate and a red bean bun, sitting down opposite his younger brother.

"Now, tell me what's going on."

"Jimin was arrested last night on suspicion of murder."

"Murder? You mean Eunwoo? They think Jimin had something to do with Eunwoo's death?"

Taehyung nodded his head, the initial rush of adrenaline having worn off, leaving him looking significantly more worn out.

"Do you know why? How did you even find out? Did Jimin tell you?"

"No. Ahreum did." Taehyung rubbed his face with his hands, trying to rid himself of the terrifying thoughts rushing through his mind. "She was there when Yuri - that's her friend who's also Jeongguk's new partner - made the call. There must be some mistake!"

Seokjin bit his lip worriedly. While Jimin had been Taehyung's best friend since they were little, there was no doubt that the former led a very wild life involving many questionable escapades. He didn't know much about Yuri, but there was no doubt in his mind that Jeongguk was a very competent detective who knew what he was doing.

"I don't know what I should do." Taehyung's voice, jolted him out of his thoughts. "I should go down to the station, shouldn't I? Jimin probably needs someone there with him. What about getting a lawyer? Should we ask Namjoon? I-"

"Slow down, Taehyung," Seokjin said, patting his brother's shoulder reassuringly. "I'm sure Jimin's gotten a lawyer himself. His family has a lot of resources. But if you want, you can drop by the station in case he needs something."

"Y-yeah, I should do that. I'll go right now. I- Shit!" Taehyung patted his coat pockets frantically. "I can't find my car keys!"

"You didn't drive here," reminded Seokjin, gently. "Do you want me to drive you there?"

The bell hanging above the front door jingled softly at that moment, signalling Seokjin's first customer of the day.

"No, you shouldn’t leave your bakery. It would be bad for business." Taehyung shook his head, the helpless look in his eyes not leaving him despite his conviction to leave his brother out of this.

"Why don't you ask Ahreum if she can give you a lift? Isn't she usually up by this time?"

"You're right! I'll do that!"

Seokjin busied himself with the customer who had just come in, his eyes wandering towards his brother ever so often. Ahreum picked him up 15 minutes later, but Seokjin couldn't shake off the worried feeling he had gotten after seeing Taehyung so frantic and helpless.

...

Yuri had reached the station at 6 that morning. She hadn't slept last night, going through every inch of evidence and every statement they had taken related to Kang Eunwoo's murder. Her stomach had dropped when she had read the email from Seulgi last night. It wasn't that she was convinced that Jimin was a saint who had nothing to do with this, but the fact that he had finally decided to give a blood sample suggested either that he was innocent, or that he was guilty but somehow knew that he would be able to escape the charges. Both options did not bode well with her.

Jeon arrived around half past 6, the bags under his eyes suggesting that he had also had a sleepless night. He didn't say anything, just heading straight for his desk and pouring over a set of files like he had a final exam he was cramming for.

Chief Inspector Goh had spoken to both of them on a conference call last night once news of Jimin's arrest had been confirmed.

"Are we completely sure about this?" His voice hoarse, indicating that the call had disturbed his slumber.

"Yes, sir," Yuri replied, not waiting for her partner to chip in. She was the one who had received the email from Seulgi, she had been the one to convince Jimin for a blood sample - this was her line of inquiry. Which made her all the more nervous.

"I'm sure I don't need to remind either of you that the Parks are difficult customers. Young Mr. Park does not have a criminal record despite his many infractions over the years."

"We are aware, sir." Jeon answered this time, being more familiar with the social landscape than Yuri. "Everything will be carried out according to proper procedure."

"Good. Be prepared to deal with lawyers as well. I have a suspicion that that bastard Song will be representing the Park boy tomorrow. Jeongguk, I'm sure you're aware of his reputation and the kinds of clients he usually represents."

Yuri did not know about this particular lawyer, but made a note to look up his previous cases to get an understanding of what they were up against. She had no doubt that Jeon would be as unhelpful as he had been since she had first arrived.

"You can't start the interview before 8 am, but given that he was arrested just before midnight, we will have lost 8 precious hours out of the total 48 before we have to either charge him or release him on bail. Be clear, be smart, and do not allow anyone to string you along."

"Yes, sir." They both replied, before ending the call.

"Do you want to go over the interview strategy?"

Jeon's words took Yuri by surprise. She had been expecting a cold shoulder at best, and unfiltered hostility at worst.

"Y-yeah sure," she replied, turning her chair around to find that he had moved over to her side of the cubicle already.

"I think we should lead with the blood match," he continued, frowning at a sheet of paper. "What do you think?"

"While that is the most efficient way to approach it," said Yuri, pausing to organize her thoughts. "We could also press him to provide us with an alibi."

"Why'd you think that?"

Yuri tapped her fingers on the table, wondering how far she should try and explain her idea to Jeon. "I just... He was very uncooperative about providing an alibi last time. But then he came down and voluntarily gave a blood sample, which has put him in a much worse position than not providing an alibi. I don't know why he would refuse the low risk option in favor of the high risk one."

Jeon scoffed. "Well you clearly don't know Jimin then."

"Well obviously not like you lot do," she frowned, folding her arms across her chest.

"Don't get me wrong," he continued, leaning against the divider. "Your confusion is completely valid, but this behavior is very much in character for Jimin."

"How'd you mean?"

"He's a loose canon. He has no regard for authority - half of what he does is to piss off people in power or positions of authority. Jimin's always been like that as far as I can remember. But-" he paused and rubbed the back of his neck tiredly - "this is much more serious. This is murder."

Yuri pressed her lips together, wondering how difficult the interview was going to be.

8 am

"You are aware that you have been arrested on suspicion of the murder of Kang Eunwoo on 16th December."

Park Jimin looked very different from the previous few times Yuri had met him. His silver hair was devoid of any gel, making him look drastically younger. He was not wearing expensive lounge wear like he had been during the previous interview. The only thing that remained unchanged was the emotionless look in his cold grey eyes.

His lawyer, on the other hand, looked quite cheerful - smug even. As if he knew in advance that his client would get off without any charges no matter how serious the offense.

"When you were here a couple of days ago, we asked you where you were on the night of December 15th. And you did not provide us with an answer." Yuri paused, trying in vain to discern something from Jimin's expression. "So let me ask you again - where were you on the night of December 15th?"

"No comment."

"I must impress upon you the importance of this matter. You are the prime suspect in the murder of a rival family's heir. If you do not provide an alibi, we will be forced to assume that you do not have one."

Silence.

"Your blood was found on the victim's clothes." Jeon took over, moving along to the main line of inquiry. "What can you tell us about that?"

"No comment."

"The victim's father says that you visited their house on the night that the victim was murdered. What do you have to say about that?"

"No comment."

This was not going any better than the previous interview. In fact, Yuri thought this one was much worse. Even though they should have had the upper hand, Jimin's unperturbed, stoic expression indicated otherwise. The blood on the sleeve was enough to charge him, but with the Park family's resources there was always a chance that Jimin would be able to get off in court. Which was why they needed to build a stronger case against him.

Jeon continued persisting with the questions, receiving an emotionless "no comment" every time. The lawyer looked rather relaxed, and Yuri tried her best to avoid looking at him. Instead, she focused on Jimin. Everything about him was unreadable - his eyes, his body language, his face, his tone of voice. Despite his more casual appearance this time around, his fingers were still adorned with multiple rings. Her eyes lingered briefly on his hands, absentmindedly counting the number of rings when something struck her.

Jeon had paused to look through his notes, and Yuri took this opportunity to dive in.

"Mr. Park," she began, placing a hand on Jeon's knee to stop him from interrupting her. "I noticed that you always wear a lot of rings on your fingers."

"As far as I can remember, DI Choi," said Jimin's lawyer. "Wearing a lot of rings is not a criminal offense."

"And I commend you on your immaculate memory," she replied, dryly. "Getting back to what I was saying, you wear a lot of rings. Are they supposed to be a fashion statement? Or do they have some greater significance?"

Jimin's expression flickered for the briefest of moments.

"For example," she continued, indicating the ring on the little finger of his left hand. "That's an unusual design - quite old-fashioned compared to the rest of your rings. Is there anything special about that ring?"

"I don't understand how this is relev-"

"Then why don't you let your client answer himself."

For the first time since the interview had begun, Jimin's posture changed slightly. "That ring belonged to my mother."

"I see... that must hold a lot of emotions for you." Yuri removed her hand from Jeon's thigh, indicating that he could continue. He didn't say anything to her, preferring to hold eye-contact for a few meaningful seconds

"I'm going to ask you one last time," he said, taking over once again. "Where were you on the night of December 15th?"

"No comment."

...

"What was that about?" asked Jeon, once they were out of the interview room.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean," he sighed in exasperation. "The ring, Choi."

"Just wanted to bring down his guard a bit," she shrugged.

He looked unconvinced, but dropped it seeing as they had more pressing things to deal with at the moment. Shaking his head, he went into Goh's room to update him on the outcome of the interview.

Making sure that the door to the Chief Inspector's room had been shut completely, Yuri switched on her laptop and pulled up every bit of information she had on Jimin. Even though she had gone over it less than 2 days ago, there were some things she needed to confirm. If what she thought was even remotely possible, they had been looking at things wrong the entire time.

"Hello? Telecoms Division? This DI Choi Yuri, badge number XXXX. I wanted to check whether this phone number is currently being used in Korea. Yes, I'll hold."

She tapped her fingers on the desk nervously, hoping she could get the information before Jeon came back. While it was true that he hadn't been openly hostile with her over the past 24 hours or so, she didn't want to risk pissing him off without something concrete.

"Yes, I'm still here," she breathed a sigh of relief when the person on the other end of the line took her off hold. "Really? Okay. And can you tell me if the number was being used overseas at any point in the past 2 months? I see... Would it be possible to send this to my official email? Great! Thank you very much for your help."

A couple of minutes later, Yuri's laptop pinged, indicating a new email. She read through everything carefully- once, twice, making sure she had gotten everything down accurately.

Fuck...

"Going somewhere?" Chief Inspector Goh walked out of his office to see Yuri putting on her coat and packing her bag.

"I- uh- yes."

"There's a lot of paperwork that has to be done, I'm afraid," he continued, checking messages on his phone. "You and Jeongguk will probably need to be here well past usual hours."

"Of course, sir." Yuri shrugged off her coat and sat down with a sigh.

6 pm

Seven hours. It had been seven hours since Yuri and Jeon had begun working their way through the piles of paperwork Goh had instructed them to finish.

"I'm hungry." Jeon stretched his arms above his head, yawning with his entire being. "Do you wanna get some takeout?"

"What?" Yuri looked up from the page she had been trying to read for the past fifteen minutes. Her eyes were glazing over with exhaustion.

"Food. Dinner. Sustenance."

"Y-yeah," Yuri blinked her eyes rapidly. "Sorry what were you saying?"

"You know what? Never mind. I'm just ordering a bunch of things- " He unlocked his phone and began typing away furiously. "Eat whatever you like from there."

Yuri gazed at him for a few moments, trying to reorient herself with the three dimensional world. She noticed that he was sitting on the swivel chair with his feet tucked beneath him - something oddly endearing which didn't really fit her image of him.

"I like dumplings," she said, more to herself than anyone else.

Jeon smirked but didn't say anything.

Half an hour later, a dozen or so takeout containers lay open in front of them - occupying more of Yuri's desk than Jeon's, much to her annoyance. He had rolled up the sleeves of his black shirt, slurping the hot noodles rather noisily.

Yuri threw him a quick glare and reached over to pick up a couple of fried chicken pieces.

"So why'd you ask Jimin about the ring?"

"I see you haven't forgotten about that," Yuri rolled her eyes, biting into the juicy meat.

"It was too specific to be a random thought," he shrugged. "So, are you gonna tell me or...?"

"I don't know if I can trust you, Jeon," she replied, simply.

"W-what?" he spluttered on the noodles, gulping some water to stop choking. "I'm your partner! Why can't you trust me?"

"I don't know..." Yuri tapped her chin thoughtfully. "Is it because you only glared at me on my first day? Or is it because you haven't greeted me civilly even once since I joined? Ooh, I know! Maybe its all of these combined with the fact that you've been an uncooperative bastard since I got here."

Jeon stared at her guiltily, his eyes widening considerably - giving him an expression akin to a deer caught in the headlights. "You're right. I apologize for that."

"Against my better judgment, I'll accept your apology. But you have Yoongi to thank for that."

Jeon smiled into his noodles at the mention of Yoongi.

"You also have Yoongi to thank for what I did yesterday," she continued, setting down the empty container. "I nicked your 2nd Nov case file and went through it."

"You what? When?!"

Yuri waved her hand dismissively. "Details. Unimportant. Yoongi suggested I should and I did. But that's not what I wanted to talk about."

"Anything else of mine you've nicked in the 5 days that you've been here?" grumbled Jeon, but there was no real bitterness in his tone.

Ignoring his comment, she pulled out her phone from the charging socket. "The reason I asked Jimin about his rings, is this -" she scrolled up to a particular picture and passed the phone over to him - "The ring found at the 2nd Nov crime scene is identical to the one Jimin wears on his left little finger."

"Are you sure...?" Jeon asked, raising an eyebrow uncertainly. "Even if it is, what's to say there aren't hundreds of other identical rings belonging to people across the country?"

"I did think that initially," Yuri took her phone back, and pulled up another image. "Which is why I asked Jimin about it during the interview. He said that it belonged to his mother. I'm sure you know this much better than I do but the late Mrs. Park came from a very old, distinguished family. That ring that Jimin was wearing is a family heirloom - from his mother's side. Here's an article that covered heirlooms of famous families in Korea, and it mentions the Park family."

Jeon took the phone from her, a frown forming on his face. The article was dated around 3 years ago.

"According to the article, there were three rings in total. One that belonged to Mrs. Park - which was buried with her after her death - and two others belonging to Jimin and his older brother Minhyuk. Not just that, there's a picture of Jimin and Minhyuk in the article, where they're both wearing the rings."

"Shit... You're right." Jeon pinched the bridge of his nose, feeling a headache coming on. "During the investigation, we just assumed that the ring belonged to the victim and had slipped off her finger during the struggle."

"Three rings," said Yuri. "One that has presumably been buried in a grave for over 10 years. One that was definitely on Jimin's finger today. And one that was found at the 2nd Nov crime scene."

"Minhyuk? You think he had something to do with it?" asked Jeon, sharply. "It was pretty clear that the drunk and homeless father of her child had stabbed her."

"Hear me out," she continued, opening her laptop this time. The food lay forgotten at this point. "I went through what we know about the victim - paints a pretty tragic picture. Although it wasn't always like that for her. She worked for a few years, saved up enough money before enrolling into a professional degree program at Busan National University."

"Yeah, so what?"

"Her time at Busan National University coincided with Park Minhyuk's Masters program."

"What?"

"Yeah, but," she continued, finding the university website. "She dropped out after less than a year because her father passed away, leaving behind a huge pile of debt. We know that her mother had passed away when she was about 10. Now if you look at her daughter's birth certificate, it would appear that she got pregnant while she was still enrolled at the university."

"Are you saying the baby was his?! There's a pretty big stretch from attended university at the same time to father of her child."

"Let me finish, would you?" she groaned, throwing her hands up in frustration.

"Fine, go ahead."

"In order to see if they were acquainted with one another, I resorted to the most informative source available - social media. Our victim didn't have much of a social media presence, but I scrolled through anything and everything Park Minhyuk has been tagged in. And guess what I found?"

Jeon stopped eating, and moved closer to the screen to see a picture of a few university students having a picnic together. It was dated January 2016, and two of the people in the picture were recognizable immediately.

"Holy shit! They did know each other! And quite well apparently." Jeon wheeled his chair forward, bumping into her chair in the process. "Shit, sorry."

Yuri rolled her eyes and moved out of his way. She had no desire to get slammed into again.

"Since I'm not part of the original investigation, I thought of checking whether Park Minhyuk was in the country around the time of the stabbing with a different excuse. I called the company, asking if he was available to chat about Jimin. They said he's abroad at the moment. Has been since October, apparently. But- " she rummaged through the papers on her desk before finding the post-it she had hurriedly scribbled on a few hours ago - "Telecoms did an analysis and found that his cell phone has been operating in Korea for a while now. So...?"

"Either someone else has gotten a hold of Park Minhyuk's cell phone," said Jeon, frowning thoughtfully. "Or the Parks are knee-deep in murder and perjury."

XXX

a/n: sorry there was such a huge delay between chapters. i was writing out some of the chapters beforehand so that there wouldn’t be too many plot inconsistencies.

#c me write bangtan #jungkook fic #jungkook x oc #jungkook #hoseok #yoongi #namjoon #taehyung #seokjin #btsbookclub #bts fic

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anghraine · 4 years

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exam rambles

I looked over the suggestions from my committee member for 17th cent lit and he took a bunch of stuff off my list (mostly good, but he clearly didn’t think I need to read about John Ford ;_;), added a few, and halfway removed Lawrence Stone (‘you should know about him, but I don’t expect you to actually read most of what he wrote’ GOOD I’VE HATED HIM FROM UNDERGRAD).

I think it’s a net gain—most of the stuff he added looks more interesting than what I had (except on Ford!!), but even though it’s much shorter than my terrifying 16th-cent list, it’s still kind of ... aghhhhhhhh.

And that’s not considering the 18th-cent list :) :) :)

#i always procrastinate and i usually manage to make it work for me but ... yeah. we'll see.#at least i did the 18th for my ma exams so i've already read a bunch of that and it'll be my last exam anyway #and i've read a lot of the 16th bc it has early 17th cent drama on it #but if i survive 17th poetry and essays and secondary sources it'll be... something #anghraine babbles #ivory tower blogging #lol my bio father called and was like oh how are you doing?#me: *tries to come up with an answer that isn't a primal scream* oh... okay...

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alyssumaimatia · 4 years

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july 20, 2020

today i did some planning for two of my final reports and did some studying for the lsat, incl. some chapter readings and khan academy practice questions.

summer studying challenge

i just found this i answered the first 8 days :)

tldr: i’m studying for the august lsat & my original summer plans to study abroad and travel got completely thrown out the window twice but it’s okay

13th July - What are your plans for this summer?

i’m studying for the august lsat! that’s pretty much it since my semester ends this week.

14th July - Have your plans changed at all because of the pandemic?

yup. i was originally supposed to spend most of my summer in hong kong doing a semester abroad. that got cancelled late last year bc of the protests (i was devastated). i got to switch to a school in another country, but then that got moved online bc of the pandemic. i was also going to spend time in tokyo with my family for the summer olympics (i was going to meet them there after my term ended). obviously, none of these things happened! i ended up just staying home doing online classes at night bc of the time difference.

the silver lining is that being at home meant i didn’t have to go into lockdown all by myself in a foreign country like some people did (sounds terrifying) and that i have more time to study for the lsat. additional upside is that i saved the money that i otherwise would have spent in said foreign country.

downside is that i lost some abroad-related scholarships and that lockdown there lifted so i’ve been jealously watching students who made it there before borders closed travel around the country and take their online classes from different cities. other downside is the potential friendships i could have had with other students. i can travel in the future, but i can’t meet the same people.

overall, i’ve come to terms with it though. (after having one cancellation, the second didn’t seem so bad plus both were for completely valid reasons) (obviously)

15th July - Do you have a specific goal for this summer?

.. do well on the lsat :) i didn’t actually commit to doing it until a few weeks ago, despite casually studying for it for the last few months. (by casually, i mean i did some back in march but when all the pandemic stuff started and when online school started, i stopped). so yes. i’m preparing for the august lsat, having only started seriously studying 2 months before it???

16th July - Do you have a lot of work to do for school or university or your job this summer?

yes, for school. since the school doesn’t have the tech to do exams online, they’ve compensated by having a ton of reports. almost all of my classes have weekly readings and reports, in addition to regular group projects which is hard with the time differences. (i missed the final group meeting for one of my projects bc it was at 4am here)

17th July - What is the most important task that you need to complete this summer?

... lsat again. :) also maybe build some good habits.

18th July - What do you usually do during the summer?

i usually work and/or take a trip. no work this year bc i took time off to study abroad (rip) and also bc i worked at one of my uni libraries. which has been permanently closed bc of budget cuts so i couldn’t go back even if i wanted to (also rip)

19th July - What did you do during the summer when you were a young child?

back when there were a bunch of other kids my age on my street, we used to spend hours outside biking around and playing almost every day. i distinctly remember being proud of one time i was out for like 14 hours.

20th July - Do you usually go on vacation during the summer?

yes! when i was younger, my family would try to make one big trip each year. we haven’t been able to do that in a while, but i also went on a trip with my friends last year.

#summer studying challenge #lsat #study #studyblr #khan academy #study abroad #summer #alyssumaimatia #university #college

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ask-a-vetblr · 4 years

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Surprise birthday party? Is this a story that you’d be willing to share?

Anonymous said to ask-drferox: Literally jumped the fence???

I kind of ran away from my 18th birthday party.

The prelude to that I had also run away from school on my 16th birthday. It was a Friday, and I just felt Bad TM about going to school that day, but my parents would not let me stay home. So when I arrived at school, and another student presented me with a cake and ‘Happy Birthday’ I immediately broke down, ran away and went home.

My 17th was Easter, so no school or social obligations other than eating chocolate - ideal.

I did not want an 18th birthday party. I wanted, specifically, to do nothing for my 18th birthday. This was apparently not a acceptable option.

So thinking I had successfully managed to have zero birthday that day, I volunteered to be a model for a friend’s first aid course. This basically meant you spent the day as either the conscious first aid model, who had to scream, cry or flinch when touched in the ‘injured’ area, or the unconscious model who simply had to lie there while placed in the recovery position or a stretcher for the first aid exams. A low stress day of community service.

This was, of course, a mistake as it meant I was out of the house for the entire day, leaving my parents unattended.

I was reasonably relaxed but knew something was wrong when i was being dropped home, and we were apparently going to my house first, not the person who’s house was closest. And that sinking feeling of dread had a good 20 minutes or so to solidify.

The car pulled down the driveway to the house, and there were all these people from school and extended family networks. I was tired, it had been a long day, and I didn’t want this.

So I screamed out that I hated them all and jumped the fence to get away.

I should specify that next door was a park, so not somebody’s private property, and I used to jump the fence all the time as a kid to go climb trees, but I just had to Exit the situation.

I know I came back after a little while, because the thought of people coming to look for me was mortifying, though I did consider just picking a direction and walking until I was exhausted. But other than returning to my room and knowing I would have to get changed into party clothes, I don’t remember any other detail about that night. I assume it was a stress response.

Subsequently I was involved in organizing my 21st, because I couldn’t bare the thought of that being a surprise as well, but I spent the entire month around my 30th avoiding family, terrified that if I went for a quiet family dinner it would actually turn out to be a surprise event. I even delete birthday reminders off the scheduler at work when someone remembers so I wont be surprised, and deactivated the info on Facebook.

I don’t do surprise fuss.

- Dr Ferox

#anxiety #social anxiety #maybe #I don't really know what it is #but I don't handle it well #Anonymous

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just-another-martian · 4 years

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i wish i could post a little more these days, but monday’s online exam drained me and i’m trying to stay off social medias as much as i can—the next exam is on friday (fluid mechanics) and i have so many things to do (apply for masters and come up with a study schedule for my two retakes among other things). life (read: academics) is becoming a little too overwhelming at the moment, but i’m glad i still get to see my friends a little, and have new books to read. i’m seriously looking forward the month of june—i’ll start my internship then (again, i’ll be working from home but at least it’ll be a lot different then just solving exercises and cramming for hours) and by june 16th, i won’t have to take any other exam as an undergraduate which is a) very exciting, b) terrifying because masters degree (if i ever get in??)

this also makes me realise that this tumblr has been up for quite a while now (ever since my first year as an undergraduate) and oh boy! time does fly by.

#blurp #léna is taking her exams

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baenxietydad · 4 years

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16th Anniversary Of The Best Day Ever || The Baes

Summary: Nemo’s 16th birthday!!!

Dated: October 9th, 2019

@justkeepdancing-nemo

MARLIN

Best day of the year, best day of the year! October 9th was Mu-yeol’s favorite holiday. Not because of Ecuadorian Independence Day, or Leif Erikson Day, but because it was the 16th Anniversary of the Best Day of His Life. Or, if you want to be boring, Nam-min’s 16th birthday.

He didn’t care for his own birthday, but his son’s was special. On October 9th, 2003, Nam-min came into the world a little over a month early, giving his parents a scare, but they both immediately adored him. He was the child they tried for three years just to conceive, and from his first breath was their entire world. Now with just himself, Mu-yeol had to love him enough for two people.

And he did. He sometimes got all choked up just thinking about how much he loved his son and how wonderful and beautiful his baby boy had become.

He loved him so damn much. That’s why he treated his birthday like a national holiday.

Like every year he got up early to make seaweed soup and to place his presents on the table. Once that was ready, he crept into Nemo’s room and slipped under his covers for the yearly birthday waking up ritual.

“Nam-min ah. Nam-miiiin, wake up,” he said gently as he pulled Nemo in for snuggles. He played with his hair as he kept coaxing him awake. “Wake up, you know what day it is. It’s the best day! It’s your birthday! My baby is sixteen already.”

“Wake up,” Mu-yeol said, kissing his forehead and snuggling him closer. “So I can annoy you with my love.”

NEMO:

Nemo had always loved his birthday. A whole day dedicated to him? Who wouldn’t love that? But he loved it not so much because he got presents, or because of yummy seaweed soup, or the nut-cake, or the fact he got to decide everything that happened on his birthday--

He loved it cuz Appa loved it. He loved it cuz Appa was always in such a good mood. No nightmares, no grouchiness, no extra paranoia. Just him, just Appa.

And this year, his birthday meant the end of Nemo’s grounding. So it was the best day ever.

Despite that, Nemo was solid as a rock in bed that morning, his covers pulled over his head. It’d started gettin’ chilly like it always did, and a little chill always made it harder to get up in the mornings, even for someone like Nemo who was gogogo. His toes curled under his blankets and he fisted the blanket too, holding it tighter at the creaking of his door. Oooo, there’s Appa, he thought to himself, barely stifling a smile, as he pretended to still be sleeping deeply.

Part of that was cuz….well-- no sixteen-year-old should want cuddles from his Appa.

But Nemo still did.

So he pretended. And when Appa dragged him close, he played at a groan and wiggled half-heartedly. “Appaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,” he groaned with sleepiness. “Wahhhhh, gerroff!” he wiggled more.

MARLIN

“Nope, not allowed. It’s the sixteenth anniversary of the best day of my life, so that’s forbidden.” Mu-yeol said to letting go of Nemo.

He carded his fingers through Nemo’s hair and smiled down at him all gross and affectionate as Nemo refused to open his eyes. Rude— how are they going to celebrate his birthday if he’s asleep? Ah, kids. Occasionally he’d press another soft kiss to the top of his head.

“Do you want to skip school for your birthday?” He asked quietly as he continued to play with Nemo’s hair. “Or do you want to be stuck hanging out with your dumb embarrassing dad one of your weekend days instead?”

Playfully, he poked Nemo’s side where he was ticklish.

NEMO:

Skip school? He could do that?!

Nemo’s eyes finally opened, blinking all the tired outta them as he looked up at his dad incredulously, like he was waitin’ for him to change his mind. Plus, didn’t his Appa have to work? It was Grow-day, not to mention still a couple of days before the Full Moon Dance, which meant the Hollow fluttered, flittered, twittered, and buzzed with all sorts of activity. Though Nemo didn’t have talent class this week cuz all the fast-flying talents were getting ready for the Windy Day Race on October 13.

So… he didn’t have talent class. And he didn’t have dance on Wednesdays either…

Unless!

“Wh-- this isn’t a test, is it?” he squinted at his Appa suspiciously. “I can actually skip school if I want?”

MARLIN

“아니 (ani). I wouldn’t set a trap. Mm, not on your birthday anyway. 그냥 (keunyang)...I just wanted to hangout with you on your birthday like we always do. And since you’re in school now that would take up your entire day.” And anyway, Mu-yeol knew he wouldn’t be in this good of a mood come the weekend. It was Nemo’s birthday not his birthweek that always (almost) restores him to him old self.

He smiled down at Nemo in his arms as he narrowed his eyes at him. “You can skip school. Only when I offer it though; if I get a call you’re absent without my permission you’re gonna die.”

Mu-yeol punctuated the death threat with his warmest smile.

“Aigoo, my baby’s growing up. You won’t need me anymore pretty soon.”

It was a bittersweet thought. Nam-min not needing him anymore meant he wouldn’t have anything left to silence the worst thoughts in the back of his brain; live to take care of Nam-min didn’t apply once his baby boy became an adult, and it was the only thing keeping him breathing most days. It was the only thing that was enough and that terrified him.

Most days, anyway, it terrified him. But on October 9th, nothing ever mattered but the fact that X number of years ago, his son was born on that day, and it was the one truly good day of the year.

“You were so small.” He sighed, patting the space between his shoulder blades. “You came earlier than we thought, you dramatic jerk.”

NEMO:

Wow, he really was gonna get to miss school.

Which meant-- his friends.

Nemo hadn’t expected the sharp, quick stab of yearning, nor what followed after: guilt. Cuz he obviously couldn’t tell Appa that maybe he did wanna go to school after all. First of all, that was stupid. What kid wanted to go to school on his birthday? Sure, he’d get to see his mates and they’d all tell him happy birthday, but he’d only get a couple of minutes before class, and then lunch, and then that was really all…and in between, he’d sit through awful French and confusing History and didn’t he have a quiz in English which he didn’t study for?

And wasn’t his birthday kinda his and Appa’s...thing?

Yeah.

Nemo swallowed down that feeling then, cuz goin’ to school just wasn’t a real option, and did what he did every year as Marlin started in on his tirade. He grooooooooaned and wiggled some more, finally pushing Marlin off and sitting up. “Heeeeere we go again, next you’ll tell me about Eomma counting all my fingers and toes and fighting the healing-talents to hold me just five more minutes--” and though he was acting annoyed at the Same Old Story, the one Marlin told Every Single Year, he was grinning.

Cuz he liked it. He wanted to hear it.

MARLIN

“And if I do?” Mu-yeol challenged, reaching up to poke Nemo’s forehead.

He hummed and sat up next to Nemo, wincing as sunlight got him right in the eyeballs. “She punched one of them, you know. Your mother was scary and always ready to...throw hands? Is that what it is? Especially when it was about you.”

He didn’t tell him how she had to take an exam at university the day after giving birth— and yes, she did go and ace that exam, and when her professor found out he scolded Mu-yeol for ‘letting your wife do that.’ But So-yeon did whatever the hell So-yeon wanted to do, Always. There was no allowing, forbidding, or talking her out of anything. She was determined to finish her masters’ on time to shut up all of the men in the program who talked about how STEM was no place for a wife and mother and said she should drop out and raise her child.

Not for the first time, he wanted to tell him.

“She always said having you was the best decision we ever made.” He said instead. “So the verdict on skipping school? If you really want to go we can do your birthday on Sunday.”

He hopped out of Nemo’s bed. “There’s seaweed soup ready, with pickled shriiiimps.”

NEMO:

He only really had a couple of birthdays left before he really would be too old to celebrate with Appa and let him baby Nemo like this. This could even be the last one. Nemo would be well into his apprenticeship when next October swung around, after all. Who knew what his life was gonna be like then? What he’d be training in, what kinda time he’d have?

Maybe he was already too old for this stuff now but…

He wanted at least one more.

So Nemo grinned. “Skipping, definitely!” he rolled out of bed too and then scampered past Appa. “SEAWEED SOOOOOOUP!” He called, giggling.

MARLIN

He felt tension he didn’t even know he was holding in his shoulders ease. What a relief it was that his baby hadn’t outgrown him just yet! Even if Nam-min was away from him more this year, he still wanted to hangout with his dad. That was enough.

“Eat as much as you want,” Mu-yeol said as a laddled out a bowl for Nemo. “You have to eat a lot if you hope to grow any taller.”

NEMO: Nemo plopped down in his chair, drawing up both his legs so he was criss-cross, then reached for his spoon. Course before he even got a spoonful, he shot a look at Appa, sour as elderberries. Because yeah, Nemo was small-- even for a pixie he was small, and especially for a fast-flying talent. Fast-flyers were usually some of the taller talents around actually, cept for maybe scout talents. Nemo was small the way a pollen-talent fairy was normally small-- or a bee-herding-talent was small.

“Aish,” he sucked his teeth at his Appa and shook his head. “I’m not that small! I mean, I got long legs y’know,” he added hotly. And that was true. Nemo was nearly all legs, which helped with his lines in dance. (It didn’t do much for fast-flying though.)

He scooped some soup into his mouth, and then grabbed the bowl and lifted the whole thing to his lips. “Here, I’ll eat the whole thing, so you can’t have any!”

And he slurped half his bowl down to prove it.

MARLIN

Mu-yeol playfully stuck his tongue out at Nam-min as he slid him a cup of elderflower juice. “It's not your fault, your mother’s human-size height was only 162 cm. She was the tiniest fast-flying fairy in both Hollows we’d lived in. Blame her for those genes.”

He barely stifled a snort as Nemo slurped his soup up like it was room temperature water and not hot soup.

“알았어, 알았어 (arasseo, arasseo). Go ahead, eo? I’m full watching you eat anyway.” He said, though he quickly ate a few spoonfuls himself in case Nemo swiped his bowl. Because he would.

“What’s on the birthday festivities agenda?” Mu-yeol asked, spooning some kimchi onto some rice. “We can do whatever you want except hard drugs. Cocaine might be negotiable-- no, wait. That’s the last thing you need.”

NEMO:

First, Nemo just gargled through his soup, still slurping it down. It really was kinda too hot to do so, but Nemo had already started so it meant he had to commit to it. And commit he did, until it was all done and he let out an “Ahhhhh,” plopping his bowl down and smirking at Appa. He said he’d do it. And Nemo could never resist a challenge.

He rolled his eyes next though. “Appa, you’re really not funny,” he told him, shaking his head. Appa and his dad jokes. “Mmmm can we…. Oooooh, Appa, can we go dragonfly racing? Please. Pleeeeeeeeeeease, it’s my birthday! I’m 16, that’s plenty old enough!”

Dragonfly racing was, of course, when fairies skittered across the Kohaku River on the back of dragonflies. Appa always forbid Nemo because dragonflies could be a bit, er, moody-- prone to 360-degree spins, or dipping real close to the water. He’d always been terrified Nemo would fall off and drown.

Why was Nemo even asking? Well! He asked at least once a year, and a 16th birthday felt like a good time when Appa might not be able to say no.

“We can go toooogetheer,” Nemo sing-songed.

MARLIN

“Watch your mouth before I glue it shut, you little brat,” Mu-yeol said in response to being told he wasn’t a comedic genius, of course while pinching Nemo’s cheek while calling him a little brat. “What’s the number one lesson of life? Always laugh when your dad, your employer, or father-in-law makes a joke.”

Another spoonful of soup had almost made it to his mouth when Nemo made his birthday proposal, and the spoon fell from his hand, landing in the bowl with a plonk! Dragonfly racing!? Let him repeat, DRAGONFLY RACING!?!?

Was he trying to make sure this was his last birthday?

Mu-yeol clasped his hands in his lap to keep from wildly gesturing. In the spirit of Nemo’s birthday, he wasn’t going to give an immediate hard no. Today, and today only, he would hear him out about dragonfly racing. Maybe even say yes, and deal with the panic in his chest the entire time.

He taught Nemo to swim in Atlantis Lake in human size, without wings that couldn’t get wet, of course. Logically he knew that Nemo could probably tread water with wet wings long enough to drift toward an aquatic plant to hold onto until he could be pulled out of the river by a fairy with dry wings. It was still risky.

And yet, at Nemo’s age, Mu-yeol had been dragonfly racing for years. His dongsaeng-dul* would compete with him and the other fairies their age for prizes of anything from found objects teenage fairies used for bartering, to ₩5,000 notes the kids whose parents had human jobs would throw in the prize pot.

*reader’s note: dongsaeng = younger sibling; -dul is a particle to add to make any noun plural

His last two logical brain cells reminded him that he was much more stupid than Nemo at his age, and that he survived. His father wasn’t half as protective as he was, so of course Nemo would be fine.

The other hundred billion weren’t half as reasonable.

“Nam-min…” before he could say no though, he cleared his throat to stop himself. He was gonna give him a chance, remember? “Only if you can tell me the procedure for if you fall off. Repeat it to me three times, then we will seriously consider it.”

NEMO:

Appa didn’t say no right away. Whoa.

This was already a win. It was also not completely expected, and so Nemo found himself wide-eyed and leaning forward. “Really?” he responded at first. He had to absorb that Appa hadn’t immediately laughed off the idea like he had done all of Nemo’s life, before patting Nemo on the head and saying something about how hilarious Nemo was with that persistent death wish of his! And did he want to give his dear old Appa a heart attack?!

Maybe sixteen really did make the difference.

Maybe sixteen was going to be his year, after all.

Nemo swallowed and leaned back, adjusting in his seat and then crackling his knuckles as he prepared to answer Appa’s test. He was pretty sure he knew about the procedures...even if he’d never really gotten to try them out. All the other fast-flying-talents though talked about dragonfly racing all the time (it’s why he wanted to do it so badly.)

“Number 1--” he held up a finger, “--don’t panic. Number 2, get your head above water and your feet under you, so your wings don’t drag you down. Number 3, tread water in direction of the current toward the shore! Don’t fight the current, cuz you’ll get too tired too fast.”

That was right...right? Right!

MARLIN

Mu-yeol watched Nemo carefully as he ran through the DON'T DROWN protocols. Careful to eye him for any signs of bullshitting or hesitation, and satisfied when he found none that his son actually understood how to not drown, he supposed he now had to actually consider dragonfly racing.

Maybe if he let Nemo do this once, let him have this one thing, he won’t do things like sneaking out with that awful kid Louie. This is exactly why he didn’t want to send Nemo to school, he knew he’d be too preoccupied with looking cool and being popular to actually care about school. He knew he wouldn’t understand that what mattered was finding your group of friends and being cool to them. It was the same for fairies in school, and fairies like Mu-yeol who didn’t go to school. Why couldn’t Nemo be like his mother was and only care what her friends thought of her?

Nemo was like him. Insecure and soft.

Maybe dragonfly racing and the panic attack he’d be pushing down the entire time would be worth it. Maybe Nemo would take the victory and be satisfied.

“Good. So...dragonfly racing. Are you sure there’s...nothing else?”

#nemo #MY BABY BOOOOOY

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beardyallen · 5 years

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Bad news, guys...

Alright, so I’ve decided that, seeing as I’ll be visiting W-Town and the Great Wall again in May (when it will be waaaaay prettier), I’ll just do a post about it then.

Suffice it to say, it was a dope trip.

HOWEVER!!!!! I’ll tell y’all about my time since. The major highlight since the W-Town trip was obviously St. Patrick’s Day. I was somewhat nervous, given that most of the people I’ve met here probably wouldn’t want to celebrate the way that my family (which is way better at St. Patrick’s Day than your family, thank-you-very-much) celebrate.

There were no green alligators or long-necked geese, and that bleeding pub didn’t catch fire. Certainly not 12 times!! I suppose I still saw the same number of unicorns as usual, but I think I would have had bigger problems if there more.

My plan for that day was to make it to Paddy O’Shea’s Pub, the Irish pub of Beijing, by 12pm on the 17th. As it turns out, the Pub had started their St. Patrick’s Day celebration on the 16th because they knew some people wouldn’t want to be completely hungover for work the next day.

For me, though, 12pm on the 17th seemed a perfect time to start as it would be 12am on the morning of my grandmother’s would-be 91st birthday. I could go on and on about how wonderful that woman was, and how big of an impact she had on me, but I’ll just say this: she was a good Bud. I’m obviously incredibly thankful for this teaching opportunity, but I’m struggling with being okay about missing out on St. Patrick’s Day in Northern Michigan this year. At least I was there last year and for Christmas and the New Year. That will have to be enough.

Anyway, I went with ML, S and another neighbor L, none of whom have ever truly celebrated St. Patrick’s Day like an American, let alone a Sylvain, but they were open to trying. And I was the one leading the group, which I still think is strange as I thought I was the least capable of the 4 of us at guiding a group through this very Chinese city. Fortunately, that compass in my brain works just as well on this side of the world as it does state-side.

Oh, and I looked damn fine, if I do say so myself!

We were a tad late to Paddy O’Shea’s, but the beer came quickly enough, and it tasted almost as good as it would have at the Side Door Saloon.

I didn’t take a picture of the bangers and mash that I ordered, but I couldn’t have been more pleased.

One major difference between celebrating here versus back in the States: there were people born and raised in Ireland celebrating with us! And there was a really cute bartender from just outside Dublin that came to serve beer just for that evening...

OH! On the Wednesday before, one of my students asked if I was going to wear a green hat when I celebrated, and the rest of the room laughed. I didn’t get the joke, commented that I’d for sure wear my green tie but that I didn’t own a green hat. After inquiring about the hat, they shared that, in China, wearing a green hat sort of sends the message that you’re a cuckold.

I would later find out the “historical basis” for this strange cultural faux pas: during the Warring States Era in China, there was a famous political icon who I was known to wear a green hat. Apparently he was a big deal, and he always wore a green hat. And then his wife cheated on him, so now a green hat means what it means. That’s it. That’s the whole story. It happened to one dude who happened to wear a green hat, and now it’s this huge thing that college students laugh about. *shrug*

Anyway, back to Paddy O’Shea’s. The bar itself was more “authentic” than I have grown to expect. I’ll probably pass the time in that pub a few more times before my time here is up. One of the key advantages is that it has a fully functioning website, which is something I’ve learned not to take for granted anymore. When I was searching in the days prior for a place to celebrate, I had stumbled across another bar: Molly Malone’s. Do not (I REPEAT: DO NOT) visit the website for Molly Malone’s. Especially at work. With the door open. When anybody and their mother could walk by.

The website, the one that the location on Google Maps and every other map app links you to, looks like a mid ‘90′s website with a few notable images. I’ll describe it for you to the best of my memory: the background is all black, all of the text is placed in little white rectangles, all of which span the middle 40% of the site and fit jigsaw-like to form one large rectangle of questionable links. The font itself is in a variety of cheap styles and bright, neon colors. Flashing text, coloring-changing text. The works. Again: it looked like a mid ‘90′s website. But not just any mid ‘90′s website.

A mid ‘90′s website with vulgar images that would make a 12 year old blush and fidget uncomfortably in their seat. I repeat again: do not visit this site! WHY IS THIS THE OFFICIAL SITE FOR THE WEBSITE?

And when I found out that, not only is this bar a real place that happens to be near a few foreign embassies and it is reportedly not-too-difficult to find a “lady of the night” in its vicinity, I wasn’t surprised? Why is it that those two pieces of information just “fit together?”

*sigh*

Paddy O’Shea’s, in contrast, is an upstanding establishment. And though they had started their party the day before and kept it going all night, the place was still in remarkably good shape, all things considered. Most of the seating was filled when we arrived, but by the time I left around 8pm (I’m completely guessing here; I have no idea what time it was), all of the standing room was occupied.

ML and S seemed quite gungho about having an Irish Car Bomb, while L was shocked that anyone would use such a phrase to describe a beverage. Unfortunately, ML had some grading to get back to, so they left before we ordered one, but not before some rando came by and spray-dyed my beard and S’s hair green.

The dude in the middle isn’t the guy that did the coloring; just another “victim.”

Not too long after, my officemate showed up; it was comforting to have someone there who had a decent grasp on the holiday!

The non-Americans left soon thereafter, but AL and I kept ourselves sufficiently “entertained.” His friend P was also meeting us! She don’t think she’s ever really celebrated St. Patrick’s Day either, but she joined AL and myself in our one and only Irish Car Bomb of the day. Kudos to her!

AL and I chatted the next day and confided that we were both a bit more pissed than we thought...

NR also came out to join us, but she didn’t arrive until after P was getting hungry. Although why she didn’t seem interested in bangers and mash, I have no idea. When AL and P left, P made sure to leave me with some chaperones, a group of ex-pats from several other countries who P had joined for a shot of Fireball. For some reason. P was terrified at the idea of leaving me alone at a bar in Beijing. As if anything could go wrong?! I was with my people!

Anyway, I chatted up a nice girl from Texas, mostly about teaching because what else do I talk about nowadays, and NR finally showed. The good sport that she is, she joined me for another beer, and then we left to find food elsewhere. The place was getting to be a bit to much; she had just arrived, my voice was on it’s way out, and her’s would have joined it not too long after.

As it turns out, there was a place just around the corner that specialized in Peking Duck, something that AL and I were both quite curious to try thanks to KFC’s interesting spin on it...

But again: my beard was green. And I wouldn’t say that I was loaded, but there were at least four rounds in my six-shooter, if you catch my meaning. And this restaurant was niiiiiiiiceeee!!! There were 4 different people who helped us before we got to our table: one took our reservation, another led us to the stairs, a third took us up the stairs, and a fourth led us the last 10 feet to our table.

In hindsight, I was worried that it was just the way-too-many-beers-prior-to-entering-this-establishment that made watching this guy slice the duck so fascinating, but NR mentioned the followed day that she found the experience just as captivating.

Also, I’ve never been one for bathroom selfies...but when (drunk) in Rome (and by Rome, I mean a restaurant that I have no business being in), you do as Romans do. (Fun fact: Roman’s invented selfies. #themoreyouknow #notfakenews #youhearditherefirst)

#romansdidntinventselfies #dontberidiculous #leavetheridiculousnesstomeandmygreenbeard

youtube

Seriously. This dude was awesome. I wish we had more footage...Guess you’ll just have to go there for yourself!

youtube

We also ordered several other dishes, all of which were amazing. Some shrimp, some part of a lamb, I think. All of it was good. Like everything else I’ve had in China!

All in all, the weekend was dope, the week after was less-so, and the coming weekends will be amazing. My students had their first exam this week, and on Tuesday I ordered an American cheeseburger and a Budweiser from a western-style restaurant just to see if it holds up out here. It was...so-so. Last night, I joined a couple friends for a drink at a bar called “Lush;” apparently it was open-mic night. One of the guys I was with was hoping for an environment more conducive to idle chit-chat amongst the group, so we ended up leaving after only one. I was displeased as I was having a great time. Guess I’ll just have to wander back out that way on my own sometime.

The plan for Sunday was to visit the Forbidden City, but I guess they ran out of tickets, so we’ll find something else to do. Will post after that. The weekend after is a Craft Beer festival that several of the faculty here will be visiting. I’m pumped.

OH! And I think I’ll be visiting Shanghai at the end of April! I didn’t know this, but apparently Shanghai was all grassland like 50 years ago! (This, according to one of the guys last night. Feel free to fact-check this.)

It’s going to be an interesting couple of weeks...

If only I could get my sleep schedule back on track. This whole “falling asleep at 4am and waking up at Noon” business is getting ridiculous. I blame my teaching schedule. #ishouldntcomplainbecauseimteachinginchina

Sláinte,

BeardyAllen

P.S. I’m super pumped for Shazam! And the End Game trailers are driving me up a wall...

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cancerstress · 2 years

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11/22/2021

Mom just messaged and said her guinea pig is sick. If this little fucker dies before the holidays, I am going to lose my mind. She takes these things very hard, and Poppy is her only source of company most days. I’m sick at my stomach thinking about how the poor little thing needs care: nail trim, vet exam, cage cleaned. I know Mom wants me to come help her with these things, but all I can do is resist the urge to scream at her for letting things go for too long. Why can’t she ask Dale for help? Why can’t she do it herself? She used to scream at me as a teenager if she felt my hamsters were living in filth. It reminds me of how she blamed us kids for the dishes piling up, only to find out after we all moved out, it was her and Dale making the mess all along.

I love my mother. I love her beyond my self, and when I try to give us separation, she takes it as a personal slight. I’ve not told her yet that Logan is coming with me to my CT scan on the 16th because she will go ballistic. I spent all weekend avoiding her, laying in bed batting the fruit flies off my face. I don’t know where they’re coming from, unless they’re breeding off how rotten I feel inside. Or my breath. Didn’t brush my teeth much.

I’m afraid my doctor thinks my mom is more of a monster than she truly is, or that I’ve complained so much that she’s now seen as a detriment to my recovery. She is and she isn’t. I know how much I’ve given up for her over the years, as she did for my grandmother. The older Mom gets, the more she demands of me emotionally in ways I don’t even think she’s aware of, like calling to tell me about her pain, her marriage, the bills. She has helped me out immensely over the years, and then there are times she comes with such sabotage that I feel off my axis.

Maybe axis implies I have a center, something holding it all together. I feel like I’m slowly dissolving at times, physically and mentally. My neck has been throbbing for weeks. I’m constantly reminding myself to drop my shoulders back down past my ears. There’s something so empty to the days anymore.

When I dream, I see my mother. She’s crying in her way that reminds me of this documentary I once saw of Italian mother wailing on a beach. I’m motionless on a hospital bed, much like my Aunt Theresa was in her final days. In fact, it might be the same room. I remember sleeping on a cot in the corner of my 18th birthday watching the nurses change her rectal tube. A few days later she was gone. Mom sat at my grandmother’s kitchen table and told us how the nurses bathed her, powdered her, rubbed her favorite lotion all down her cold legs. I sat in the shower and sobbed into a wash cloth, eating the fabric knowing everyone in the house still heard my grief. I was marked by my aunt, destined to become her shadow.

They’ve had me marked for death for a long time. A grave as a baby, right next to my father’s. The curse of the Trents beginning with my great-grandfather drunkingly turning down a deal for 100 acres of land that could’ve developed into some kind of wealth. My drunk of a father, dead from stomach cancer. My drunk of a grandmother, dead by spite after a long, long life. I was alone with her when she died. Me, her, and the hospice nurse. I stood over her and practically begged her to go, that it was all okay. A few hours earlier she had been confused why the family was gathering, unaware she was dying. She was terrified.

In that same nursing home two years earlier, I held down my Uncle Cecil’s feet as he vomited up yellow bile and his eyes rolled to the back of his head. Cathy, his daughter, fell to the floor screaming, suffering a stroke. His nurse had withheld morphine and gave us trouble all night. I made sure to ruin her career, not realizing how destructive I could be to someone until she caused my father figure to violently thrash into the grave. He had told me growing up that his greatest fear of death was feeling thirsty. “A thirst you’ve never known before,” he would say and stare past the veil of our conversation. I moistened his lips all night, and when he began running a fever, I made a mixture of cocoanut oil and peppermint oil to smooth down his calves and feet. That nurse, that woman, ran a temperature gauge against his cold belly, denying him Tylenol. Later when her replacement came to give us some relief, they discovered his fever reached 104. He died a few minutes later.

I remember how they all died, my great aunts and uncles. I can recite the story of Hobert who shot himself underneath a tree at the end of town, how my cousins surrounded the funeral home doors with rifles and shotguns to keep his syphilitic wife away from the scene. This was in the 70s, but I knew about the tragedy before I was ten. I know them all. Carol, suicide. Aunt Shirley, embolism. Aunt Libby, fell face first to the floor after a massive heart attack. Her nose was crooked to the point they almost required a closed casket. John Richard, lupus. Uncle Omer sat upright in his bed moments after he died, his pacemaker raising him from the grave. My grandmother screamed and tried to cover my eyes. I saw the whole thing.

My family always saw me as something more. I was supposed to be the famous writer from my little pissy town. I didn’t talk like them, they’d say. Even now my cousins think I hold some higher intelligence that allows me to give them answers to problems I barely see coming. This was once who my mother used to be, till she gave in to her illness.

Maybe she didn’t give in. Maybe she truly is crippled spiritually and physically. Maybe I’m an ungrateful bitch who is too lazy to trim the guinea pig’s nails. All I want is to just breathe. Float. Be somewhere cool with a breeze. I wish I owned a field.

I’m going to spend a long weekend with Jess after Thanksgiving with mom.

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